#and if it isnt the school counselor thing then genuinely what the fuck is going on

[solange-lol]

hiii in celebration of AUctober, what are some of your fav solangelo AUs?

Anonymous said to solange-lol:

Hi! Kinda a random question: do you have any favorite riordanverse fanfics that you’d suggest reading? I’m looking for ones to read, but I’ve been having trouble finding new ones! Thanks!

rec list #1 | rec list #2

all recs can be found under the tag ‘lizs solangelo fic recs’ on my blog!

technically its past auctober now, but better late then never to drop my third solangelo rec list!! especially considering the state of the world rn ... lets just say its a celebration of me actually participating in sw for the first time in a while

rec under cut as always!! its not all aus but its the count that thots

Find Another Place to Stay by @unwieldyink

personally i think breakup fics are incredibly underrated, and i also think annie is incredibly underrated, so enjoy ur little cry if you read this one (tw // violence in this one)

Hershey’s kiss by @unwieldyink

we love a godswap!! it’s actually been a while since ive read this one and i reread this while making this rec list and can i just say that zeus!nico and hermes!will are both such valid concepts and this just has a rly good dynamic to it

Actors by @buoyantsaturn

i could talk about this fic for hours but lets just say ao3 has told me ive visted this fic 40 times. im not kidding. fake dating is just a godtier trope

start of something new by jinniefic

if you know me, you know that i fricken LOVE high school musical, and this is literally just the start of the first movie but solangelo and honestly a little more iconic please read even if ur not a hsm fan

paper/plastic by @rosyredlipstick

the fact that this is from 2018 and took this long to get into my rec list is tragic because i think about this fic a lot... a lot. mortal au. very chill, strangers to lovers, very good vibes, will be rereading soon (everything rosy writes is amazing we already knew this)

10:37pm by @buoyantsaturn

surprise another cj fic! fun fact she debated with us for a good half hour about what to title this fic so go read it so you can tell her you like the name (and the fic itself... its a very good fic) (tw // alchohol and drug use for this one)

Sunflower by ChiseHatori

3 days in the infirmary is probably the easiest trope u can find in the solangelo tag but i have to say this one really made me soft just bc it feels a lot more in character than some of the others ive read, and it basically picks up right where they ended in the books

Will You, or Will You Not? by @thebluesideofmyworld

marriage fics... also very soft. just boys bein boys. dual engagements. mortal au. all that good stuff vv soft i loved it

let your heart win by @justanothervampiregirl

this one is short but its also probably one of the most in character fics ive ever read and i really like this style of writing mixed with canon compliance so :)

The Magic of Naomi Solace by Sweetymomo

naomi solace, underratted legend. i aspire to have her relationship with will. lots of familial background if you like that!! and its set at a bnb!!

forget all the shooting stars and silver moons by itotallyreadthatbook

when i saw this in the tag i was SO excited bc we love high school aus here and it was!! very good indeed!! this trope is one ive never seen before and i recommend 10/10 good banter

They won’t always live by Phantomxlegend

will overworking himself and coping with loss always makes me :(( so if ur okay with some will angst then buckle up

“I am fully capable of kicking your ass” by @unwieldyink

i remember i saw the email notification for this one and immediately was like yup absolutely im in and it 100% lives up to its title we love capture the flag solangelo

the night we met by peachyytomlinson

a lil ooc but also very angsty and did make me emotional when i read this late at night. i think i wrote something similar a while back but i just aaaaa will angst man

“look how hard i can cry FWSHHH”  by @buoyantsaturn

call me biased bc i like to claim that i originated the idea of demeter!will and cj dedicated this fic to me but like BRO its so soft and i love it here nico leave the plants along challenge failed

femboy hooters, or the time percy jackson failed to keep a secret by luciethebean

its all fun and games until the fic turns out to genuinely be really good. like, yes the title is exactly what you think it is but it doesnt matter bc its so fricken well written im^@*#&(*)($_$#&^@$(@*)* yeah

Of Ties and Significant Annoyances by seokjinvilla (@thechampagnecocainegasoline)

we dont support jkr in this household but what we do support is this bc this plot is genius and i love it

everything’s going swimmingly by tsunamiroll (@catboy-ethan)

fun fact i posed the idea of a sports/team prompt to the sw mod crew literally just so someone would pull through and write a swim au and ethan DID without even knowing. i love them and their writing style is so !!!! please read it

when you smile (the whole world stops) by tsunamiroll (@catboy-ethan)

another ethan fic!! this is the perfect fic for a rough day where u just want some cuddles bc thats literally the plot of the fic. i love this one with my entire heart its very fluffy 10/10 do reccomend

pumpkin spice (i hate it, it's not nice) (ok maybe it's a little nice) by tsunamiroll (@catboy-ethan)

ethan fic part 3!! bc i binge read these all in one night!! literally again their writing style is so amazing and the witty banter!!!! also we love a retail bookstore au 

Burnt Plastic (and Other Bad Ideas) by More_of_This

so this one isnt exactly romantically solangelo but it is hilarious in my opinion and i absolutely adore well written college aus and while i know nothing about college this fic is so funny to me (if you read the tags there is, in fact, a raccoon involved) (tw // drinking for this one)

all because you kissed me goodnight by @buoyantsaturn

i have been WAITING for a mortal counselors au and im sure theres some out there already but y’all already know im a cj stan! lots of slowburn, friends to lovers, coworkers, all the good stuff (and i named this one and offered cj a lot of materials from my own camp so this one especially hits!! i reccomend for those good ol summer vibes!!) (tw // drinking for this one)

Waiting With You by @buoyantsaturn

oh boy buckle up if u want an angst ride because this fic tore me apart. i keep threatning cj with “dont pull another waiting with you”. that being said, very much feels like a movie while youre reading it, very fluffy in the middle, we love mutual pining. 

Little Italian Boy by @buoyantsaturn

stream little italian boy by grace gilmore. youll get it. thats it.

The Clues by @thebluesideofmyworld

secret dating when done well is legit one of my favorite tropes of all time and this!!! this!!!!!!!!! its outsiders perspective also which is another one of my favorite tropes, and just little views on nicos life and i love it

So Come On, Talk it Out (your voice brought me back from the dead) by @buoyantsaturn

will solace, sponsered by kitkats, cj edition

no but if you read tower of nero you’ll really like this missing pieces pre-ton fic this is a really soft little fic with a bunch of easter eggs from the book in it, so i highly recommend! if you havent read ton yet and are still avoiding spoilers, come back to this one!

reaching for the sun (you, you, you) by moonswords (@tortadelimao)

i just read this one about 2 hours ago for the first time and i am Still thinking about it. its like the getting together that i literally feel like is canon and the vibes are Immaculate (also william “what about me looks straight” solace)

“Are we on a date right now?” by @unwieldyink

overworked will, nico helping out in the infirmary, first dates & hikes, canon compliant, we love to see it (also its an annie fic so ur required by law to read it)

Outrunning karma by Phantomxlgend 

more will angst! featuring angry overworked will!

Everlasting Ring by minyoongurt (@blueblackslowtown)

i was Very excited when i read the summary of this one, and i think minyoongurt did a really good job!! healer will, injured nico, the whole dynamic. also i love the idea of nico only knowing “thank you” “go away” and “fuck you” in sign language. im pretty sure thats canon

The Little Thing by Rainbow_Mess

i belive this is also a pre-toa fic thats just exploring all the stuff we found out about will in ton and its very short and sweet :)

and of course, a few of my recent works for your consideration

who is he (and what is he to you?)

just doing my silly little tasks

i don’t need three bars to tell me we’re meant to connect

truly, madly, deeply

#solangelo #will solace #nico di angelo #pjo #heros of olympus #lizs solangelo fic recs #mine

[clydoscope]

i'm such a stupid fuck

listening to my head and not my gut

constantly thinking and thinking and thinking

---

thank you korn for hitting so hard to home

my life is falling apart still....surprising yes yes

school stuff is getting to me

im getting worse

i keep getting myself in trouble because i seriously do not have a single braincell left in my brain

im getting worse

everyone at school will see how broken ive become and yet i thought it was such a good idea months ago to join a program that helped freshmen

yeah let's get involved i thought

helping freshmen and striving for a better portfolio...how bad could that be i thought

i seriously cannot handle anything

i feel more disconnected from my friends because i do not have the confidence to talk to them anymore

my life isn't interesting enough

i dont do anything "interesting"

im a disappointment to my family

at least my sister has her own apartment i feel doubtful that i will survive once it's my time to leave

at school i will fake a smile for my teachers just so they don't have the counselors running in to call my parents abusive

it isnt them

it was never them

it's me

it's always me

it's my fault

i don't think

i don't take responsibility for anything

i don't follow anyone's genuinely good advice because i am scared of change

this is exactly why therapy was a flop because doing something as simple as deep breathing made me feel weak and disgusting

no wonder my newest therapist was pushing that i get medicated

my year therapy thing is long over now anyway

do you wanna hear more negative personality traits? i know you don't but here they are

selfish, obsessive, hypocritical, slow, gullible, forgetful, unmotivated, etc, etc i cant remember any more

i thought i was starting to get my life together after trying to get my permit but shit happened and now im back to square fucking one

all because of me

and my dumbass brain

i want to be gone

i have no purpose or hope in life

everyone would be happy i can assure you that

no more terrible sister

no more lingering stalker

no more distanced friend

no more slow granddaughter

no more waste of time and effort

just a lifeless corspe that will be in a coffin

that shall be danced on

my death can solve world hunger

and all the problems in my family

and poverty

and everything

but all those problems still exist because i do not have the guts to follow through

i cant even harm myself

pitiful

simply pitiful

your parents love you they just hate the things you do

if you became an emotionless slave then you wouldn't have to disappoint anyone anymore

you'd just do what they'd ask

you can solve all your problems but you dont

why?

because you're so used to the painful hell you've sent yourself to

words

words

words

icy coldness that is my heart

hypocrisy

the world crumbles in your hands

failure

failure

failure

just go through with it and that title will be of no meaning to you

there will be nothing

nothing

[the-pierrot-system]

Hey, kid. I’m sure you get enough of this shit already, so I doubt the words I bring you are doing jack, but I’m putting this out here for you to stew on. I would recommend attempting to see a new doctor (you have said prior you don’t have the money, you have also said you saw a doctor at one point, so I’m not sure what situation you are in), if you can’t afford it right now, social services should be able to provide you one. (1/?)

Just contact your school counselor and tell them what is going on. Even if this new doctor disagrees with you, it still sounds like you’re struggling and need some help. Even if a doctor disagrees with your self diagnosis, let them help you. Now, I will say this part with some aggression, because this is important, just know I’m not attacking you. If you are endogenic, please do not use the terms DID or “MPD”. (2/3) Even if “MPD” is outdated currently, they are both medical terms to describe traumagenic systems, and shouldn’t be used by endos. I’m not a fan of bringing the hammer down on you because you’re thirteen and everyone says things when they’re thirteen, but seriously, just be respectful and try to get yourself some help. - Kujo-Kakyoin Jouta. (3/3) ------- Okay to be clear i really think grown adults or people older than me who fucking act like they know my life or know what im going through is frankly some of the most embarassing shit. I know you arent as weird as the rest of them and you are genuinely trying to help and that I respect but could you please in all due respects not tell me what the fuck to call my plurality. Contacting a school counselor is cheap as fuck nobody right now is in school and even if they were I live in rural buttfuck town so I seriously doubt anyone would take me seriously or even listen and all but lets say they did. They wont be able to find me someone within my area covered by my really piss poor insurance. I am really poor and by my family kind of neglected. For everyone telling me MPD isnt a term I can use I like it. I have trauma from my other lives. I am triggered by alot of things, As well as me saying I am a system of one isnt directly true. When I say that I say it to cope with my personal form of plurality and how I see it. I see it as me being one, and the others kind of taking me over or me taking them on to cope. Thats how I take my personal illness. it isnt your fucking place to tell anyone how to adress their plurality or idealize it. or how they are supposed to feel or adress it. that isnt something you can or should ever fucking do.

[dear--charlie]

Dear Charlie,

I keep thinking about something that happened in July 2018. I was at my last year of my music camp, and my boyfriend (I’ll call him Jaybird) was an intern. I met him there in 2015, as well as 95% of my current list of friends. One of those friends is Ginger (made up to make this easier to follow(͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) )

Ginger was my best friend for a long time. We talked every day, and he always tried to keep me mentally safe. I used to self harm a lot back then, I still do somerimes, but whenever I could talk to Ginger I would and he would help me not hurt myself.

in 2016 ish i started crushing on him really hard. it didnt work out, because he started dating my ex girlfriend that year, (they did the deed for the first time in a graveyard- such edgelords) but it was a pretty big thing that I actually had a crush on a boy for once.

Even though i was really sad that i never got to date him, i still stayed friends with him. I see Ginger twice a year at best, so i like to cherish the time i have around him. To this day, He’s one of the people i talk to the most. He’s my hype guy, for when i have a selfie that i dont want to post anywhere but i still want validation. Or if i need somebody to have dumb conversations with, since Jaybird isnt always around.

Anyways, fast forward to 2018 and I’m in my first serious relationship with a guy that i really like. i get to camp, and i go off and hang out with Ginger a ton because we love being stupidheads together. Jaybird was always busy doing other stuff, otherwise i would have chilled with him way more. I think Jaybird got jealous of how close emotionally Ginger and i are, because he kept making snide comments at me for the whole day whenever i saw him. The second day of camp, Jaybird hit me with a “We Need To Talk” right after dinner.

He told me how “the adults on camp Staff are trying to figure out if we actually broke up because you’re acting so lovey dovey with Ginger” and “if thats how you’re gonna be around him then i dont want him around”. i wanted to defend my friend, because Ginger was there for me loooong before Jaybird was. so I said “that’s just how Ginger and I’s friendship is, i cant just fucking stop talking to him because you told me to. that seems a little controlling, don’t you think?”

I swear, the look he gave me made me want to punch him in the fucking throat. It was a look of “sorry you feel that way, but you’d better listen to me because i know better than you”. i just walked the fuck away after that. It makes me mad just thinking about it.

Jaybird is a great guy. He’s funny, he listens to me complain about the tiniest things (much like you do, Charlie), and he really genuinely cares about me. But that one conversation has stuck with me for 8 months. I still remember it so clearly after 8 fucking months. And it still hurts.

Joke’s on Jaybird, though. After he left for the night to go hang out with the other Counselors and Interns, I cried on Ginger’s shoulder about it. He was such a good sport, and he didnt talk shit about Jaybird when he totally had the green light for it. Because Jaybird was really an asshole that day.

I still talk to Ginger every day. we talk less now, because he’s a senior in high school, but we always manage to take a few seconds out of our days to say hello.

anyways, that’s what’s been on ny mind for a few days. Thanks for listening to me ramble, Charlie. It’s 4:09 AM and i need to go to sleep. Good night!

~Ellie Z

3-13-19

#dear charlie #ellie z

[thirdherrscher]

can you tell us more about your mahou shoujo site camp camp au??

WWHWH IM GLAD YOU ASKED NONNIE

it works as either a roleswap or its own branch- though there really isnt much to say if its its own thang. however! one trait both verses have in common is the site is a shady camp that provides magical sticks and helps alleviate trauma/stress(except not really) while the admins are known as counselors. they do have a site that advertises itself to misfortunate children: “whether or not you want to attend our camp, or use your stick, is entirely up to you”

the roleswap follows the canon mss storyline, with some the roles,sticks and emblems altered a bit to better fit certain aspects & dubious content/characters taken out. the motives, the existence of tempest, the king,etc remain just about the same. the kids are around 2-3 yrs older than their canon counterparts and mahou sept takes place 10+ years before the current timeline

the swaps + hcs under the cut cus it gets kinda long [tw for mentions of abuse, suicide and violence, please proceed w care]

NIKKI:

switches with aya

stick is a gun with the ability to teleport her targets, later on upgrades to sharing memories + distributing lifespan

emblem is a flower

lives with her disconnected mom who seems to find a new partner at the end of every week. her father is mostly absent in her life

was severely bullied by sasha,tabii and erin at school

sports a lively facade out of stubbornness

her only escape was taking long walks out in nature

was Very traumatized having believed she murdered tabii with her new stick

was the only one out of the main trio to genuinely think they were all friends

has a big fat crush on max and neil

becomes less vibrant and more protective of her loved ones as her Magical Girl Adventures take a darker turn

MAX:

switches with tsuyuno

stick is a smartphone with the ability to freeze time

emblem is the letter X

lived with a neglectful family until they were killed by a burglar

he felt nothing when they die, but was immensely wounded when he realized theyd been trying to escape without their son

uses his time magic solely for his own advantage. he wont hesitate to fuck over assholes who threaten his image or simply out of spite

hes That One Classmate nobody bothers with but would never mess with

was one of the only people who defended nikki and neil from their bullies

though he made it clear he associates himself with nikki and neil only for their magic, he genuinely began to care for them immensely like the big softie he is

NEIL:

switches with kiyoharu

stick is a ring with the power of telepathy and is able to peek into/take over his targets’ sensory system if he chooses to

emblem is the infinity sign

pushed around for being a typical nerd;got more shit after getting outed as genderfluid

unlike canon, neil actually cares for his dad- even if he does embarrass him quite a lot

when presented with his stick, he laughed at the idea of things like “mahou camp” existing??and thought it was some pathetic scam

surprise surprise, freaked the FUCK out when it turned out the stick worked

he further refused to use his magic after finding out it takes a toll on his physical being

like max, he only befriended the other 2 for his own interests. he does eventually start caring for them despite trying(and failing) to hold them at an emotional arm’s length

developed post-traumatic mutism from witnessing the deaths of his friends; currently uses telepathy to communicate

HARRISON:

switches with rina

has a LOT of stolen sticks stowed away in his top hat. the one he was granted with was a conductor’s baton that explodes its targets

secondary stick is a sword that cuts through any surface

his tertiary stick is a wooden staff that emits electrical discharge

the baton’s emblem is a crescent moon, the sword’s is the letter V and the wooden staff’s is a crown

was the second magical after ered to receive the slaughter note

bought the camp’s lies about tempest in a heartbeat, driven by fear for what was to come & arrogant thoughts of him deserving to live in a new world free of scum

his plan was foiled by max and co after a failed attempt on nikki’s life

he is Very terrified of preston and avoids him at all costs

the trio only protected him from harm for more info regarding tempest

he still has natural magic, which he sometimes uses as an alternative to sticks

he develops a tiny crush on nikki

SASHA:

switches with sarina

her stick is a yo-yo with a string so sharp it slice n dices whatever gets in the way

emblem is a heart

was one of nikki’s bullies,along with tabii & erin

often referred nikki by her full name before they made amends

her accused nikki for “murdering” tabii & grew more hateful than ever when her throat was slashed (by max, actually), leaving a hideous scar as a reminder of the incident

for this “misfortune,” she was granted a stick. really it was because the camp needed a new magical hunter

tried killing nikki and her friends out of vengeance, but slowly her perspective of nikki slowly changed after the latter saved her from getting crushed by a collapsing building

her feelings for nikki went from pure hatred, to mere tolerance, to finally–after a heart-to-heart conversation–geniunely caring for her well being

nikki still hasnt 100% forgiven sasha for all she’s done,which sasha comes to find understandable

PRESTON:

switches with nijimi

stick is a wristband with the power of mind-control

emblem is a star

grew up in a shithole neighborhood, in a shithole household with shitty parents

his parents were so deep in debt with loan sharks,they committed suicide when they realized they couldnt pay up, leaving a Very scared pres to fend for himself

temporarily lived with jen, his teacher and mother figure, and for the longest time, he was frightened to go outside out of fear of running into the same loan sharks

one confrontation by momma bear jen later, pres decided to settle things by wiping clean the memories of his family’s debt from the loan sharks’ minds

preston eventually got his life together & made it big in the theater industry as a child prodigy

he had a horrible relapse when he found jen’s bloody, headless corpse, out of the blue on a very normal day. realizing it was a murder committed by another magical, preston follows the series of murders of similar fashion; bent on finding the killer to avenge jen

put his career on hiatus to properly work with the trio, who he took a genuine liking to until they were busted for lying about harrison’s whereabouts(he still hasnt completely forgiven them for that.) he only agreed to cooperate under one condition: he gets his hands on a certain rotten magic kid after this

he lived with his grandmother since jen’s death

NURF:

switches with asahi

stick is a brass knuckle which enhances his physical abilities

emblem is a cancel sign🚫

was raised in a broken household; his parents would fight constantly, often scaring the poor boy into hiding

he was much closer to his mother and was devastated when she got sentenced to prison. with her out of the picture, mr nurfington began taking his frustrations on nurf more frequently than ever

nurf ran away after mortally wounding (maybe possibly killing) his dad by sheer impulse, spending years on the streets and move out of one shelter after another

he has scars from a combination of his previous home life and life on the streets. hes also blind in one eye

despite walking the path of delinquency, he tries his best to fix his attitude for himself and those around him, especially after he meets his new friends

DOLPH:

DISCLAIMER!! i am using my own revamped version of dolph for this because Fuck Canon

switches with kosame

stick is a carving knife he uses to cut himself, the blood flowing from the wound is used to heal external injuries of others. he is, however, unable to prolong lifespans

emblem is the degree celsius

was the lonely kid in class nobody paid attention to

is childhood friends with ered, but they grew distant as ered became more popular he became convinced she wouldnt associate with the likes of him anymore

was the only person who approached ered kindly when she fell

he became depressed after he was diagnosed with terminal illness, but acts like nothing’s wrong. pretty much lost the will to live when ered allegedly killed herself

he never practiced self-harm before receiving his stick

SPACE KID:

switches with mikari

stick is a flying broomstick

emblem is a sun

had a carefree life with his family with everything he could ask for: happiness, wealth & all the space-centric things he could get his hands on. until they were killed by a deranged murderer on the loose and has lived under his great uncle’s care since

life with buzz wasnt so bad though, he was still relatively happy

hes gets treated as the expendable one by his friends

often lets harrison ride his broom with him

ERED:

switches with kayo

stick is a compact mirror which can hold up to 10 different abilities of magicals she comes in contact with

emblem is a spade

used to be a popular girl and lived with her two dads (jacob; bearded dad & nathaniel; blonde dad) and a younger sibling

her life came crashing down when nathaniel killed 3 teenage boys to avenge the sibling, whose murder had been left without justice. nathaniel was sentenced to prison, jacob lost his job and eventually fell seriously ill & ered, treated lesser than a dog by peers and those she had a hand in picking on, was forced to trudge through this ordeal with no rights to even cast a glare at her bullies

her hair is short because it was cut by bullies

dolph was the only one who tried reconnecting with her. while she appreciates some light in this misery, she still keeps her distance to keep the bullies from targeting him as well

she was the first magical girl to be given the slaughter note; in that she found out dolph and nerris, an old campmate, were also magicals

both dolph and nerris were able to find out ered’s status as a magical girl. the former thru overhearing a conversation with nerris, the latter because she followed ered

ered highkey cant believe she let some geeky kid save her ass time and time again

she faked her and nerris’ deaths to get out of the mahou camp’s radar + keep their loved ones safe

NERRIS:

switches with sakura

stick is a video game controller with the ability to unleash shock waves

emblem is a diamond

had an average life with a loving family before her father’s death; which the police merely brushed it off as suicide. furious, nerris took matters into her own hands to find the killer(another magical most likely) herself

she still adores dnd games

she went to camp with ered and dolph once

she was surprised+confused when ered approached her, wondering why a (former) cool kid would want anything to do with her. she was Disappointed But Not Surprised when she found out it was bc ered was looking for other magical girls

she helped ered a lot through the magical girl fiasco, and they ended up growing closer than mere comrades

along with ered, she formed an alliance with nikki and co in their efforts to dismantle the mahou camp

PIKEMAN:

switches with ni/ochi

stick was a PET bottle that traps oxygen surrounding it

emblem was the roman numeral XIII

was cameron campbell’s nephew

he was sent to a military camp for boys. his fellow campers pushed him around to the breaking point and the mahou camp granted him his magical boy status.

he used his stick to murder those who humiliated him, ruling the camp via fearmongering

he simply vanished off the face of earth one day- some guessed he simply couldnt take military camp anymore, but nobody could truly conclude where he’d gone

the truth is pikeman used his lifespan down to its last drops, his body and stick disintegrating & reborne into the counselor “two” 

CAMERON:

switches with detective misumi

bio uncle of pikeman and adoptive uncle to daniel

is a shady fbi agent secretly associated with the mahou camp

only formed the alliance bc he suspected they had something to do with pikeman’s disappearance

has an immense collection of sticks in a secret basement

cam about 14 y/o dan: “ive only known li’l danny for a day and a half and if anything happened i would kill everyone in this room and then myself.“

cam about daniel now: “danny has been my nephew for over a decade and i still would—”

faked his murder of jasper for currently unknown reasons. he seems to have taken the still-alive jasper under his wing for the moment

DAVID:

switches with tsurara/the king (yes, i buy the tsurara=the king theory dont @ me)

stick is a drill with a laser beam twister

emblem is the libra symbol

is best friends with gwen and former childhood friends with jasper

was badly abused by one of his counselors it ruined his love for camp 

even after accidentally murdering said counselor and burying the evidence, davey insisted he drop out of camp

the guilt, the trauma, everything was so overwhelming davey began to emotionally break down

pursued a relationship with bonquisha in hopes it’ll dull the pain; he became thoroughly convinced, yes, this is real happiness. he ended up turning down gwens efforts to help him

the truth behind the abusive counselor was leaked, and no one has ever changed their opinion of david so fast. bon left davey in disgust as davey himself got bullied to the point of suicide

because he died so miserably, david was allowed another shot at life- reborn a physical manifestation of his negative feelings, with the desire to wipe out humanity. the “king” was born and brought forth the threat of tempest

GWEN:

switches with hyouka/nana

shares her stick and emblem with david

she used to be a total shut in since her father died in an accident. david at the time was a classmate who’d bring in notes and assignments from class everyday.

gwen was upset when he told her he wouldnt be able to come anymore due to an upcoming summer camp. realizing she enjoyed davey’s company too much, she offered to attend camp with him & theyd been inseparable since 

is very protective of david, always down to fuck up anyone who hurts him

when she discovered the truth about david’s counselor, gwen offered to gather money for therapy with his newfound stick.

she and davey temporarily fell out bc davey changed his mind about letting her help him and gwen’s temper got the better of her

she was devastated at witnessing daveys death, and harbors a deep resentment for the camp

she continued to use david’s stick until her lifespan ran out, and was reborn the counselor “seven.”

DANIEL:

switches with alice

stick is a flip phone with the ability to reverse time by one minute

emblem is a knife

his parents were arrested for being dangerous cultists. dan had never known what hell truly was until his peers found out, and was given the humiliating nikcname “son of a cultist”

he HATES anything cult-related, and blames his family for ruining his life

having grown up in a cultish household, some of their twisted tendencies rubbed off him

he attended the same camp as gwen,davey,jasper and jen as a teenager

cameron adopted dan as his nephew out of pity after he bolted from camp in midst of a breakdown

he was initially all up for helping nikki’s gang, behaving kindly and almost like a father-figure to them. he decided to leave the kids alone to take care of a mission gone horribly wrong, believing theyd literally be the death of him if he kept wasting his powers for a bunch of “brats with no survival skills of their own”

JEN:

switches with mikado

stick is a mechanical pencil with the ability to create magic-negating barriers

emblem is the operator symbol ⨂

was practically preston’s adoptive mother. she was always there for him in his time of need, making sure he was okay and nurtured him as if he were her own

similar to daniel’s case, jen’s parents held questionable beliefs. she was also bullied for the same reasons

doesnt mind cracking a satanic joke every now and then despite her past

she was killed by harrison for her stick

JASPER:

switches with isoko

main stick is a set of rollerblades that enhances his speed. it also gives him the ability skate smoothly over uneven surfaces and areas that defy gravity. its emblem is the leo symbol

his secondary stick is a hairdryer that returns the targeted object/person to its original position. the emblem is the letter J

was childhood friends with david. jasper changed when davey “stole” his place as the honorary camper and they officially fell out after jasper tried getting the camp shut down

he still attended the same camp as gwen and david as teenagers

hes really kind of an ass

neither of his sticks were given to him by the mahou camp

went under the alias “J” as he distributed countless sticks to everyday folk

was allegedly killed by detective campbell for his crimes, but in actuality is still alive and well to this day

#thank you for showing interesting in this silly lil au #also im sorry if some of these arent v well written hfsdhgk #some of these might make more sense if u read the manga #especially sept #camp camp #asknico #anon #trash aus

[shadymultiverse]

I told her it would ruin out friendship. She insisted it wouldnt. I told her I wasnt in the mood, she said she could get me there. I told her i didnt want it, she said I should. She told me she would be my submissive little slut, it was what I wanted.

I told her No, it wasnt.

She gave me more vodca.

I couldnt think straight.

I said I should go to bed.

She unzipped her pants and put my hand down them.

Please just touch me a little, i need it.

It was hardly the first time someone had taken away my choice. In fact up until that point no one had ever respected my No.

So I thought maybe thats just the way its supposed to go.

You need it.

I needed someone i could trust, i thought that was you. I had so many issues and I just gave in. She wouldnt take no for an answer so I made her cum three times. I choked her and called her a dirty girl and a slut and all kinds of names. I hated her so much. It was easy to abuse her.

When she told me to stop I did. When she tried to return the favor, everything was numb, so I faked it.

Then i made her cum again and she said that she was done. So i got dressed and got her dressed and carried her to bed.

I threw up for the next hour and passed out in a ball.

The next day I couldnt wash her off of me.

I kept trying to tell myself it was fine. It was normal. Everything was good. It was just sex. Just sex. I made someone happy. Isnt that the point?

She was in a happy daze. Kept trying to touch me and acting like we were dating. I started getting abusive. Cruel every time she came near.

I told my other friends that we fucked, and never mentioned how much I hated myself for it. How disgusting it was or how I wanted to rip off my hands and pull out my clit.

I told myself it was just sex. That it didnt mean anything.

I told my counselor how i was feeling about it and when she asked for details i told her the honest truth.

She got real quiet and she said that it sounded like rape.

I told her of course it wasnt! She didnt touch me until after i had touched her.

I had slappedd HER around and put my hands in HER.

I felt like I had raped her.

My counselor asked me who had started pushing for the sex.

I told her I kind of had, i had shook my van and made a joke. Then she kissed me. When i told her no she insisted.

But I had tried to get in her pants before, I had kissed her and let her kiss me.

My counselor said that times before disnt matter, did you want it when it happened?

I said no.

She said, thats rape.

And I said I dont know.

I had to stop talking for a long time and I sat there and thought about how I was worthless and dirty and all those things you think when your body isnt yours.

I stopped talking ti her. I knew if i did I would just keep getting angrier and angrier and I felt like I was dying all the time.

The semester ended and I went home and everything was disgusting and wrong and my life was a mess. When i came back to school none of my friends would talk to me. All of them ignored me, all except one, but I discovered later how she wanted to use me.

Rumors begaan to swirl, about how I was abusive in bed. How I was manipulative and cruel and hateful. No one wanted anything to do with me. And there was that bitch, crawling her way into a young girls heart. I saw the same things that had led me to be in bed with her that night pulled on a tranfer student that was barely 18 and had no idea how the world worked. I wanted to save her and I told her the truth. I told her everything and she told me "I believe you"

Three little words that no one had uttered. Three little words that broke my soul in half. Three little words I didnt know I needed.

We became friends and she never tried to fuck me. She always gave me reasons to trust her. She was kind and genuine and loyal. The day came that my abuser tried to turn her and she recorded the words and sent them to me and everything finally made sense.

[anything-advice-blog]

[TIME SENSITIVE / URGENT] toxic friend

i kno u guys must get like thousands of messages and im so sorry for cluttering ur inbox and pushing this to the front of the line but im just. desperate and really scared and i need to know what 2 do abt this as soon as possible!!! also as a preface i apologize in advance if some of the way i word things in this come off as offensive or incorrect, etc - i truly, genuinely do not mean any harm so please feel free to correct me if i say something that isnt okay!!! also this is REALLY scattered and mega long so bear with me im really sorry! (also im so. so scared the person in question is gonna see this o H MY GOD so i may need to message this blog again asking for this post to be taken down maybe bc im really paranoid im so sorry!! i hope thats ok but i just dont want to risk her seeing this if this all blows up in my face ohrkjdghkjghfdgj!!!) (TW: SUICIDE MENTION, SELF HARM MENTION)

ok so. almost 2 years ago in early 2016 this girl i’d never met before drew me this incredible gift art for my birthday. we started talking and we found out we have a lot of things in common - we both draw and write, we’re just a few months apart from each other in age, we have similar interests and fandoms, n we live less than an hour away from each other and are one state away from one another - so we immediately hit it off n became super close friends. she was amazingly talented n super friendly and nice n stuff so i wanted 2 be friends w her anyways!!!!! @ the time she was in an online relationship with someone several years older than her who lived across the country, and she mentioned a few times she was feeling unhappy and insecure in that relationship and that long distance was really difficult but she was too devoted to her partner to break it off. the most important thing 2 note is that my friend has several severe untreated mental illnesses (depression, anxiety, ocd among others), regularly self harms, and is suicidal. im pretty sure im neurotypical (or at least i definitely am not suicidal / depressed, etc), so while i couldnt relate to a lot of the things she was going through, i always tried to be a listening ear to her and give her advice / support when i could because i knew she was going through a lot of rough stuff. she told me she doesnt have any friends in real life, her parents are separated and her family does not support her or even really know / care about her mental health, and she can’t access any professional help from teachers / counselors / therapists due to her severe anxiety and financial issues for some of the latter options listed. as her relationship with her partner began to crumble, i started bearing a lot of the weight of her struggles - she would vent to me and i would always have to be there for her to support her. i told myself that because she was mentally ill and didnt have any support i would take on that role so she wouldnt have to suffer. over the summer of 2016 she almost attempted suicide like…. twice??? and i talked her out of it and it was terrifying and really exhaustimg to constantly be worried about her.

then almost a year ago, in the winter of 2016, she started getting… clingy? we started talking a lot more and i didnt really get like any bad vibes from her but we were pretty much joined @ the hip and stuff and we started telling each other all of our secrets (so this is when i found out her relationship with her girlfriend was starting to crumble, which i didnt previously know) also she started constantly drawing me stuff??? like Drowning me in gift art and i felt really bad for not being able to reciprocate but she told me not to worry and that she used art as a coping method and stuff. at this time, i was going through some stuff too - obviously not as severe as depression / self harming, etc, but i had just gotten out of an almost-relationship with someone i knew from school, and i was doing my best to distance myself from romance in general since i didnt feel mature or confident enough to be in a romantic relationship yet. i told my friend that i was uncomfortable about the prospect of being in a romantic relationship and she seemed to understand.

anyways right around my birthday this year she revealed to me that she was madly in love with me (???!!?!?!?!?!!?!!?). mind you we had never even talked to each other / video called or ANything like that and we had only sent each other One (1) selfie and. it made me really uncomfortable because she said that like i was her moon and stars and her whole world and everything and she constantly dreamed of me??? and that she had been secretly like writing me love poetry and drawing me Even More Art i didnt even know about and…… it was. really overwhelming. it bothered me for so many reasons besides the fact that we had never communicated outside of like chatting / sending messages back nd forth like…. ok she was still in that long distance relationship at the time even though it was crumbling, and she KNEW!!! that i was uncomfortable about romance but she told me anyways and stuff!!!!!! and AHHH it was just really bad. so i panicked over it for a day or two because i was scared that if i Firmly Said No that she would spiral into a depressive episode and actually fatally harm this time but i wrote her this huge long letter letting her down very, very, VERY gently and apologizing for ever leading her on and stuff. and. she never actually wrote back to that letter or told me that it was okay???? which….. should have been a red flag 2 me but. we moved on as friends even though we did this conscious of the fact that she still loved me like that and i didnt feel the same way. looking back on it i regret it so much because i told her that like i would Always Be There For Her Forever and stuff and??? gfkjhgk yeah it wasnt a good time.

its been almost a year since then. in the spring i got my first smartphone and we added each other on a lot of social media stuff including snapchat and moved all our conversations there, then we decided to call each other and exchange phone numbers and see how that worked. i didnt really think much of it and was excited to hear her voice and have a conversation with her but…….. suddenly that one call turned into two and two turned into three and within a few weeks we were calling each other like All The Time (at least once a week if not more) and like making these really fucking elaborate schedules to call each other????? WHICH LIKE i dont think is a normal thing friends do idk if im wrong but!!!!! i literally call None of my other friends except for her, and a lot of that is bc i actually get really anxious and uncomfortable talking on the phone?? (also not to mention my mom doesnt really like me talking on the phone either….) but i never really told her that it made me uncomf or that it was difficult to mnge like i guess it just kinda.. Happened and became the norm. so now on top of constantly messaging each other multiple times a day now we were calling frequently too and there was suddenly a lot more pressure in our relationship because i had to stress out over making a large amount of time in my day to talk to her. i graduated high school this spring and having to balance the extreme emotional load of that major change with like… suddenly having to fall all over myself to make time to talk to this girl i didnt even really know?? was just really bad and i regret it so much because i feel like i missed out on fully experiencing it i guess. im really really passive and im TERRIFIED of confrontation and i dont like saying no to people or telling them if im uncomfortable because They Will Get Mad At Me and it was especially worse bc of my friend’s mental health and so she and i would talk for hours on end because i was afraid that if i got tired and ended the conversation without a legitimate excuse she would get mad at me and hurt herself. since we could fit way more conversation into like… long long hours of talking and talking, we ended up like. just telling each other literally Everything and she “eventually” fell out of love with me and started trying to meet people who she actually knew irl to date!! which was. kinda good bc she met this one girl and they hit it off but then it turns out she was just….. queerbaiting my friend??? which Sucked so that obviously didnt work out. and then she met another girl on this dating app and they started going out and my friend started talking to me less for a little while. it turns out though……. that my friend’s new girlfriend lives in my town??? like i dont know her but bc of that my friend and i almost met in person bc the two of them met up and went out together and stuff and they were gonna drop by and see me but that didnt work out. im getting off topic here but my point is……… she told me she wasnt in love with me anymore and she started seeing other people.

sadly she and her gf recently broke up. their relationship was also really unhealthy just like…… All Of Her Relationships and that other girl broke up with my friend because she said she needed space (she was depressed too and needed to recover and my friend was being too clingy and attention seeking and stuff so she just ended it in the middle of the night over text.) ofc ive stuck around for all of this and my friend has vented about every tiny detail of this relationship to me and its…. been So Stressful. now that shes single again she’s more depressed than ever - over the summer when she was dating that other girl she stopped self harming but she started again when their relationship started going south and now im really scared she’s gonna hurt herself, esp bc she tried to commit suicide again a few months ago which was terrifying. also another thing thats made me REALLY uncomfortable!!!!!!!! is that she Keeps Bringing Up the fact that she was in love with me whenever we talk on the phone??? like Every Single Time We Talk, Without Fail. even when she was talking abt her new gf with me sh was like. comparing her attraction to her gf to her attraction to Me and talking abt how they were similar and different and. i never had the guts to tell her it bothered me but god it just does So So Much!!!!! because we were never in a real relationship and she doesnt even really know me KDSJFHKHGAHHH im rambling so much this makes no sense at all and this is so long im so sorry ahhhh but im… Stressed!

so….. we’re running up on two years since we’ve met and one year since she told me she loved me. im in college now and she’s still in high school, and she’ll be i college next year too. again, i dont think that im depressed or mentally ill, but ive been struggling a LOT with the adjustment from hs to college and its been really really rough on me emotionally. now that my friend is single she’s been solely relying on me and trying to get me to call her multiple times a week because she needs the extra support now that she doesnt have her girlfriend anymore… but she doesnt seem to understand that i i just dont have enough time or energy to give all of myself to her and fall all over myself to make her feel better, especially when i already feel suffocated by her to begin with AND when im suppposed to be starting this new life and putting all of my focus into that. we’re mutuals on every single social media i have and i feel like im constantly being crushed by guilt whenever i do anything for myself or post stuff bc she can see what im doing constantly. and like she asked me to turn my read receipts on when we started moving from snapchat to texting and i have them turned off regularly so i did and it was really uncomfortable. i keep bending myself over backwards to mke sure im making her happy bc im all she has left.

neither of us have good relationships with our moms and so we’re always sneaking around to call each other and lately ive been calling her at school because obviously my mom isnt there and its less of a hassle to sneak around her and and talk……. but its a double edged sword bc i keep having to isolate myself and skip clubs / studying / hanging out with friends and socializing to talk to her and listen to her vent and its just so exhausting and i feel like im starting to seriously fall behind in other areas of my life im supposed to be getting better in. its hard enough adjusting to this and missing high school and stuff and trying to learn how to be an adult and be independent, and having her weight over my shoulders just is making things so much worse. but if i tell her that she’s choking me she’ll hurt herself (she’s literally said to me, Multiple Times (and recently!!!) that if it werent for me she’d be dead by now or she would kill herself and stuff and im the only thing she’s living for at this point. which. i dont know how to feel about that). i feel so trapped and i can’t say or do anything that indicates that im uncomfortable because she’ll get mad at me and make these passive agressive little side comments or do these alarmed emoticons and stuff or give me the silent treatment for a day or two (which is always scary bc like its Good when she’s not talking to me but when she doesnt im scared that something horrible happened to her!!!!!) and its just. god. ive started lying to her and coming up with fake excuses to get out of calling her because the thought of having to go isolate myself in these empty courtyards or nooks and crannies of my college campus is growing more and more uncomfortable and terrifying to me and i just cant fucking be honest about it because i suck. when i talk on the phone with her i have to be really fake and smiley and stuff and all she does is ramble about how horrible things are going for her and then i have to try and give advice when i just am so bad at talking and socializing already and im dealing w my own stuff and its… Awful. im so so weighed down by this nd i know that if she knew she’s being a…. b*rden to me right now she would be devastated and harm herself and stuff so i cant say anything and im spiraling out of control with THI s but you get the point im just really uncomfortable Always!!!! and i feel like my own emotions are completely 100000% inferior to hers because she’s gone through so much more than me and stuff???? and idk if thats True or if its just the way i feel but i just cant do anything around her bc shes like a ticking time bomb and anything i feel or try to do to protect myself from getting hurt will be selfish bc shes hurting way mre than me!!!!!!!!

anyways her birthday just happened a couple weeks ago and i bought her a tiny present and drew her somehting (i felt super guilty about not doing More for it though because shes done so much for me and also literally nobody except me remembered her birthday, not even really her own family). i havent mailed it to her yet (i told her i would send it this weekend, which is why this is marked as urgent) but we just exchanged addresses for the first time so now she not only knows my name, my age, what i look like, my Entire Backstory Ft. My Deepest Darkest Secrets, and how to reach me whenever she wants wherever she wants, but now she knows Exactly where i live and where i go to school too lol yay!!! anyways im getting really really anxious because i just had my midterms for college and didnt talk to her for an entire week last week but this happened right after her gf broke up with her and i think shes mad at me for taking a week off of talking to her. we were gonna call again today but i weaseled my way out of it bc it was so overwhelming and now i have to mail her this gift this weekend and my mom and other fmily members are all yelling at me about it and demanding that i just like…. Not Send It To Her because i dont owe her anything and tht i should just cut her off but if i do she’ll hurt herself nd she follows me everywhere and knows all of my secrets and stuff and idk im just scared that if i end our friendship she’ll try to ruin my life!!!! Like i dont think she would be petty like that or turn people against me or anything but she’s so obsessed with giving all of herself to other people nd she’s literally said she cant function without being 100000% devoted to somebody and like even after she’s broken up with all these other girls she still…. is obsessed with them and angsts over them and stuff and she does that with me even though i never even dated her or anything aND ITS JUST bad

like. idk i just really needed to get all of that out and im sorry it was so so so long and i dont even know what to do but i guess i marked this urgent because like. do i send her the present???? should i try to just like quietly distance myself from her real subtly so she wont notice or should i just straight up tell her that i cant breathe around her anymore and i just. really need space??? or like to not be friends anymore even though we know everything about each other??? am i being manipulated or is it jsut All In My Head that our relationship is toxic??? like idk if i shoud even cut her off completely or aNYTHING or if we could like even go on being just acquaintances from now on and saying hi to each other from time to time. and i feel so mean and bad for writin all of thisstuff about her when i know shses so vulnerable and i havent concretely communicated Any discomfort around her so if she saw this she would immediately know it was about her and do something Terrible to herself nd she constantly spams me with memes about depression and wanting to die and like…. blows up my phone with like 50 text messages at once and its just so so so much to worry about and i!!! just!!!!!! cant function like this anymore!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AHHHH!!

anyways that was a huge disorganized mess and im kinda shaking and i dont even think i got all of it down or communicated how trapped and helpless i feel. ive never been in any situation like this before and i hate that she’s…. yeah. she’s really like manipulated me and stuff and i dont know how to get out of it. every time i think about it i feel like bursting into tears because im just so stuck and i dont even know if the way im feeling is even valid or if its all just lke. in my head or something and this is how friends really are Supposed to be because ive never really had a great social life either and my best friends are honestly my brother and sister and they mean everything to me and so i have friends outside of my family but like idk i never like. really was that close with any of them nad stuff nad idk this isnt about me BUT i just uhhh. am kinda crying a little bit and im sorry fo rbeig a big baby about all of this its all my fault for being a Human Doormat and letting people walk all over me nd tellin myself that i can bear that weight when i really have never taken good care of myself before Ever In My Life and stuff. but anyways im gonna stop rambling now and just… to whoever reads this or responds to this or whatever just thank you for hearing me out even if you think im wrong / crazy / Terrible for feeling this way because it just has been so much and i dont know what to do.

Hey there!

There's a lot going on here, but the bottom line seems to be this; you're in a friendship that you don't want to be in, and that you feel is unhealthy for you.

You are not her therapist. You can't fix her, you can't treat her, you can support her, but that's it. You aren't responsible for her. You're forcing yourself to put all this time and energy into something that you're super uncomfortable with, and don't want to be doing, and it's draining you and destroying your own mental health. You have to put yourself first. It's okay to want to help people, but you HAVE to put yourself first, or else you'll burn out and you won't be able to help anybody.

At the very least, you need to talk to her about how you're feeling, and tell her you need to tone down your relationship. What's happening absolutely isn't fair to you. All you can do to help her is your best, and right now, you're not doing your best because you're not taking care of yourself.

I know you're concerned about her hurting herself or killing herself, but you have to understand that you are not responsible for her. If she does something to herself, it's not as a result of your actions. She's traumatized and mentally ill, and those factors are what causes her to hurt herself. Not you. You are not and can not be responsible for her. Period. If she tells you she's going to kill herself or severely hurt herself, you have her address. Call 911 and ask them to dispatch help to her house. She might hate you for it, but an angry person is far, far better than a dead person. That action very well might save her life, and get her the help that she needs, so don't be afraid to do it.

As for the present, it's totally up to you. You did promise it to her, and fulfilling that promise might help you let her down a little bit more gently. At the same time, giving her a permanent reminder of you could hurt her. Maybe you should ask her? Tell her about how you're feeling and that you can't keep going with this intense of a relationship, and have a conversation about that. During that conversation, you could ask if she still wants the present. She might get angry, or it could help soothe her, or maybe she'll have a totally different reaction. It's hard to know.

This conversation is going to be super, super hard. It's going to be hell, quite frankly. She's a super sensitive person, and she's probably not going to take it well. So remember what I said before, about her not being your responsibility, and do a LOT of self care working up to the conversation and after the conversation. I'd recommend making a self care kit, and putting things in it that help calm you down. My personal self care kit contains nice smelling lotion, soft fabric, stuff to play with, gum, tea bags, and notes from friends reminding me that they love me. You could also be texting a friend during the conversation, so that they can reassure you and help talk you through it.

You may not be going through the same things she is, but your feelings and your struggles are valid. You don't need to destroy yourself to help someone that's "worse" than you are. You need to take care of yourself, and keep yourself as healthy as possible. You aren't any less valuable simply because you're not traumatized or self harming. Your mental health is important, and you need to do what's right for you.

I hope this helps!

♥ - Fawn

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