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#and if i don't post it now i'm going to find a million things i don't like about it so !!
cambrinkisbae · 20 hours
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*•♡never be like you pt 2 ♡¸.•*'
nika muhl x cheerleader!reader
"I am an architect, I'm drawing out the plan. its like 17, nobody understands "
word count - 2.6k
themes :
-slow burn
-comfort
warnings :
-toxic rls
-mentions to wet dreams
-cursing
a/n - I'm posting this today because one its my birthday and two I didn't want to starve you guys for longer than three days...
the amount of stress I had walking home was unremarkable. I had been staying at farah's dorm for a couple days. she already had a bed ready and made for me to sleep in once I texted her that I didn't want to be around Asher. I always kept a good amount of clothing there too so that I wouldn't have to take a trip to my apartment and deal with the millions of interrogations I would get from my boyfriend about where I was. the thought of seeing Farah completely cleared my brain and kept me calm until I walked off campus and began walking home. the door was locked. he never locked the door. I tore up my backpack looking for my keys but still couldn't find them. I kept on knocking on the door while searching for my keys before the door finally opened. there Asher was with his hair messed up. I took a moment to actually look up and look at his skin. his lips looked puffy, and had a red tint. more red than usual. his eyes were almost bloodshot.
"where were you huh? out with another guy?" he said while leaning on the door frame, already flexing his fists. I bit at the inside of my cheek, not being able to form words. its not like I was out with anyone other than Farah but I knew that no matter what I said, he wouldn't believe me. I held my breath and looked down at the floor while fidgeting with my rings. his hand rose up to my chin, grabbing onto hit and forcing me to look in his eyes. "fucking answer me." a couple tears started to well up in my eyes. I slowly swallowed the huge lump in my throat and croaked out the truth. "I was with Farah. no one else." his grip tightened around my skin before his other hand wrapped around my wrist, dragging me into the apartment. he snatched my bags out of my hands and tossed them in my room. the door slammed behind us before he took me into his room. "don't lie to me y/n. I know you are" his eyes were sinking into my soul every second that passed while our eyes were locked. I finally almost felt his grip loosen and the moment I thought it did, I attempted to rip my hand out of his grasp but he held onto me tighter. "asher can you please let go of me." I said, squirming my wrist back and forth as it turned red. this was the last thing I need right now.
right before I thought he would continue to pull at my wrist, he let go. tossing my wrist back at my side. a long relieved sigh was let out while I turned around to hide the couple of tears fell down my cheek. I sniffed in the small string of snot that was slowly falling from my nose and kept my face hidden.
"come here." Asher cooed while resting his hand on my waist. the light in his room was dimmed. the curtain were still open but barely let any light in since it was starting to get dark. before I spun around to look back at him, I reviewed how the room looked. it was mainly clean except for a couple pieces of clothing on the floor next to his bed. his bed had ruffled sheets and a comforter that was hanging off the side of the bed. I raised my eyes up to see that the closet door was almost closed and when I looked hard enough, I saw the white sclera of a girls eyes. my stomach dropped while she shut the closet door fully. Asher was only trying to turn me around so that I wouldn't see the naked girl hiding from me. as fun as it would be to call him out and slap both of the people across the face, I pretended that everything was fine. I let one more tear fall down my face while I turned to face asher's blue eyes. the man I was looking at right now was the one that always wondered if I was out getting fucked by another man. the man that couldn't keep away from me when he thought another mans hands was on me. the boy that told me if I was with anyone else, he'd kill me. when the entire time. it was another girl I should've been worrying about.
ashers knuckle dragged across my under eye, wiping the few tears off of my skin. he wiped the tear of his skin tight compressed shirt and then wrapped his arms around my waist, pretending to comfort me and care about me. I could tell that he was staring at the closet, hoping this girl wouldn't come out. yet he still acted like his eyes were facing my back, with his head down. he held me there in his arms before leading me onto his bed, stroking my hair. if he was going to cheat on me then I would just accidentally think it was Nika twirling my hair in her fingers. Nika who was rubbing my back. Nika. muhl, who was letting me fall asleep on her chest. I fell asleep with my makeup ruined like always but at least I didn't thing it was Asher who my dried mascara was falling on.
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the first thing I did when I woke up was check my phone. I ignored the fact that Asher was probably driving this random girl home while I laid on the bed she enjoyed my boyfriend on. when I opened my phone, I saw an Instagram notification.
nika.muhl started followed you
nika.muhl liked your post
nika.muhl liked your post
nika.muhl liked your post
damn. I mean at least it wasn't all of my posts.
i I actually unlocked my phone and texted Farah what happened last night. she called me within a second and all I could do was cry.
"hold on I'm coming to pick you up. grab asher's wallet."
farah took no time to drive over to my apartment and pick me up. she knocked on the door gently before stepping in once realizing that it was unlocked. I was still laying in asher's bed, tears soaked up my pillow case. I was wrapping myself around the blankets that was covering his body last night to try and find a sense of comfort. Farah been standing in the door way for a good amount of time before peeling me off of the mattress and standing me up in front of her. I refused to make eye contact until she raised my chin up with her finger. "listen to me. you are going to get through this. he's a cunt and I know you don't want to be with him. don't pretend like you do." she said sternly while wiping the few tears that fell down my skin. "cmon. lets go get coffee or something?" Farah wrapped her hand around my own, leading me out of the room.
for the first time in forever, I didn't even take the time to brush my hair or put on mascara or even change clothes. I just walked out the door, looking like I got hit by a bus, while being dragged to a coffee shops down the street by my best friend. she sat the two for us down at a table right next to the window. I felt a little breeze of cold air run through my hair each time the door next to us opened and closed. it was that hour that people would be coming inside for something to eat before classes. I swirled the stirring stick in my coffee,barely being able to take a sip.
obviously it hurt for Asher to manipulate me and act like I'm in the wrong. but its always been like that. it was always expected of him and I just got used to it. what I never thought he'd do is cheat on. especially when its all he thinks of me when I'm gone for more than 5 minutes "a cheater." the moment I locked eyes with that girl, all my emotions faded away and I was so lost I could even figure out who it was. but now that I'm thinking about it and remembering the moment. she had dark eyes. a taller yet thinner figure than my own. even with her hair disheveled across her head, I could see that it was darker, longer. I nearly spit out my coffee at the realization. he was sleeping with my second closest friend in the entire world. if Farah wasn't there to hold me (which she usually was) it was Natalie who would pull me in and kiss my forehead as if I'm a kid who scraped her knee. he was fucking Natalie Barlowe.
just a I was about to stand up and march to Natalie's house, Farah placed her hand on my shoulder mid setting down our breakfast. "woah woah what happened?" she gently pressed my shoulder down so that I would be seated.
"i-it was Natalie." - I choked out - "in the closet Farah. it was Natalie."
i felt my all my blood warm around my heart, almost squeezing it along with my lungs. I dipped my head down in my arms, pressing my now sweaty forehead on the ceramic table. the cool surface felt nice against all the heat that bubbled up in my head. hot tears fell down my eyes and I swear I could each and everyone of them splashing on the table beneath me. Farah's hand lurked up my back and slowly began rubbing back and forth. my back occasionally hitched up as more silent sobs left my mouth. I've felt this pain before and I never thought I would have to go through it again but here I am. Farah slowly slid into her own seat while trying to raise my head up to look at me. this time I wouldn't budge. not until I felt farah's hand leave my back to lift my body up and wrap her arms around me. still not letting my face into the public, my nose was dug into her shoulder while I continued to sob. once all the tears (for now) were emptied out, I pulled my head away from Farah's shoulder revealing my extremely puffy and red eyes. I quickly wiped a little bit of snot away from my nose and sat back down. I took a small bite out of the sandwich Farah bought for me. at this point I had no choice but to act and feel numb. I didn't smile but I didn't frown.
there was the breeze again. for some reason I felt the need to look at who was walking in the coffee shop now. to my surprise, it was Paige, Nika, and Aaliyah. I'm guessing they were trying their best to spend some time together before Nika and Aaliyah leave. once me and Paige's eyes locked, she sent over a small wave followed by her walking up to me and Farah's table. I looked away as fast as possible, covering my face with my hands, pretending to be asleep as if Paige didn't already see me shoot her a 'hey what's up' look.
farah was beyond confused by the fact that three star athletes from UConn were coming up to the two girls. I kept my head down, trying to dry some of my tears before someone could ask what's wrong with me. that's when I felt a tap on my back. "hey?" God that voice. I slowly lifted my head up and turned to see the 5'11 brunette standing above me. I felt my breath hitch and get stuck in my throat when I tried to speak. I cleared my throat and put my hand on Nika's, which was still resting on my back. I let her hand fall off of my hoodie but she kept a concerned look on her face. she tilted her head, using her eyes to ask me what happened. I had the idea of pulling her to the bathroom and explaining everything but that would awkward for almost everyone around me. Paige and Aaliyah quickly picked up a conversation with Farah, making her turn red out of embarrassment. I almost reached over to grab Nika's hand when she turned around to look at the people in this hop, I thought she was about to leave to buy a drink or something. I don't know why I was so freaked out by that thought. her hair flipped right back around when my finger grazed her hip after her hand. the way her eyes darted to mine sent a shock through my body and I swear the shop went silent.
as much as Asher hurt me, staring into Nika's eyes made me forget everything about. when I was with Nika it was like "who's asher?"
nika gave me a reassuring pat on the top of my hand, almost like she was letting me know she wasn't going anywhere no matter what. I looked behind me to see Farah sending me a 'save me' look but before I could barge in on whatever Paige was talking about, I blurted it out. "hey Nika do you want to go to a concert with me and Farah?" I have no idea why the fuck I did that but the good thing is I did.
"what?"
"what?" Nika and Farah said in unison. Nika's face almost lit up while Farah's slightly dropped. not with anger though, thank God. Nika's eyebrows furrowed towards her eyeballs while she scratched the back of her neck. "I mean-" she looked up at me then at Paige and then at aaliyah. they all gave her reassuring looks, telling her that she should go. "fuck it I guess. what day?" Nika pulled out her phone and opened the calendar app, getting ready to put down the date. Farah spoke before I could, "April 18th!" Nika quickly typed down the date and then shoved her phone back in her pocket. obviously I was fucking thrilled that Nika was coming with but how has she said yes when she doesn't even know who shes seeing? whatever. the only thing that mattered right now was the fact that one; I wouldn't have to deal with Asher at Olivia Rodrigo's concert and two; nika would be right next to me.
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me, Farah, Paige, Aaliyah, and Nika decided to just hang out together while we ate breakfast instead of sitting at different tables. I took that moment to fill everyone in on what happened, not that I should've been getting so close and personal with them but...I now deem them as my new group of people to trust. because apparently teammates aren't reliable. we all said our goodbyes before walking back to campus in different directions. me and Farah spent the walk debriefing how I very clearly had a crush on Nika muhl and that the concert would be a perfect opportunity to make a move. a second one that is. Farah kept on nudging my shoulder and poking ta my stomach while smiling proudly.
"I can't believe you actually did that and she said yes like holy shit!" this entire morning made me completely forget about what happened the night before. and this time it didn't creep up on me thirty minutes later. I actually didn't care about it for a whole day. of course the next day was still difficult, I had completely started bunking at Farah's place until I had the confidence to just ditch Asher. he didn't deserve my presence anyways so I packed my shit and ditched.
farah was probably the most supportive person to breath, and not even just because shes my best friend I mean she will support anyone and everyone. whether they've done her wrong or not. sometimes it worries me how forgiving she is but then again we just had a breakfast buffet under asher's name so...
when we were back at her place, I plopped myself dramatically onto her bed while spreading my limbs about. the only thing I could manage to picture in my head was Nika. I cannot believe I'm actually going to a concert with basically a stranger. she never struck me as the type to go out on such short notice with someone like me. I pulled out my phone from my pocket and began to mindlessly scroll on Instagram, looking for something to actually be interested in that wasn't day dreaming about nika. of course she just had to slide into my DMS right when I'm trying to not think of her. the text popped up at the top of my screen and I felt my heart drop. I was already active so there wasn't any possibility of me ignoring her message. Hey. This is y/n right? I read the message and constipated what to say for way longer than I should've. shes just asking if I'm myself. am I myself? yes. yeah I totally am. hiii, yes this is y/n! I texted back while my thumbs almost shook.
we ended up talking all night I feel embarrassed to say it but I am fully head over heels for this basketball player now as if I would ever have a chance when so many other people have probably made moves on her by now. but then again why would she spend 4 hours texting me about anything and everything. our conversations alone made me happier than I had been in the past 2 weeks and I had just met this girl. no one has had this effect on me since high school and to be honest I've missed the feeling.
when I finally turned my phone off I looked up to see Farah standing next to me like a mom catching her kid playing a video game after bedtime. she had her hands on her hips and smug smile plastered on her lips. "who's got you kicking your feet huh?" Farah knew exactly who it was but of course she shoved the name out of my mouth. Farah laughed so hard she was on the brink of tears when she came back up for air. that's when I noticed she had her phone aimed at me, sitting on her bed with my feet in the air kicking back and forth. that's going to be posted in no time. I quickly rolled over to hide the fact that I was having the time of my life crushing on this girl. and as much as I tried to hide it, I get red when I think about her and when shes anymore in my vicinity.
i spent the entire night staring at the ceiling dreaming about how on earth I would try to actually have Nika love me if that was even possible. and of course when I fell asleep the first thing I dreamed (the only thing) was what the night would be like after the concert. what we would do after. if we made it back to a hotel or just drove home. maybe stopped at a gas station or any parking lot. talked for a little bit. maybe about the concert then maybe about how badly I wanted my lips against hers. but hey that's just a what if. and just a dream. so when I woke up in the middle of the night I had to gaslight myself into believing it in fact was going to happen just so that I could sleep peacefully without another wet dream about Nika muhl.
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xyriath · 4 months
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but seriously if you are at all blogging about the i/p conflict you NEED to read that standing together article from that post i just reblogged. please. please please please please please. these are the people who are actually doing something about freeing palestine and have been for years. And here's the thing:
IF YOU WANT PEACE IN ISRAEL, IN PALESTINE, THESE ARE THE PEOPLE IT'S GOING TO COME FROM.
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Because yeah. The way this site is spreading around uncritical posts is a huge issue (and a reason I haven't been around since October). Standing Together is doing a hell of a lot more than blogging about it. They're on the ground putting in the work. Nine days before the October 7 attack, they were in Tel Aviv publicly protesting about the systematic oppression of Arabs (not just Palestinians) in Israel.
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"The global left has to be synced with what we need." Trust me, the right is. Boy HOWDY is the right synced. I have gotten more support about my Judaism from the far right than the left and it's??? kinda fucked up??? Someone who worked for Pat Robertson should not feel safer than someone dedicated to activism, but here we are. I can feel how easy it would be to be radicalized towards the right, and I'm actively fighting against it. Now imagine that multiplied by millions of people, plenty of whom don't have the same desire to do so, or feel like they don't have the luxury of safety to do so.
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Seeing Hamas being portrayed as sympathetic and talked about like they had a right to commit all of the atrocities that they have is making me lose my MIND. They're a group run by corrupt billionaires who actively started this conflict with the intent of silencing the Palestinian people who have been protesting their tyranny. They have been siphoning money from Palestinians for years and this entire attack is them deliberately throwing Palestinians into the path of slaughter to distract from that fact, the same way that Netanyahu absolutely took advantage of the threat and tragedy to try and get himself off the hook for his own corruption.
Also check out the google doc linked in the article. It's not just a good way to learn how to communicate, but a very good resource for finding out if something you're sharing is worthwhile. In fact, it does a really god job of breaking down why I've felt so uncomfortable about a bunch of the posts on my dash. Some excerpts:
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This got way longer than I had intended, but hopefully does its job. Go read the article and, yes, if you need to, reevaluate your activism. Because if it's not what people involved actually want or need, then it's just for you. And that's kinda fucked up.
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kettlefire · 6 months
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Booo-merang Trouble DP x DC Idea
Okay but leeching off the idea that Jason gives off an ecto-signature, and I probably saw a post about this somewhere. I just for the love of me can't find it. If anyone knows it, please link it so I can credit!:
Jason isn't even on patrol, he's visiting the manor. His chilling, eating away at lunch. He doesn't come to the manor often, but he always needs a dose of his crazy family every once in a while. There's no way he'd stay away from Alred's cookies for long.
Then boom, something shatters the window behind him. On instinct, Jason moves. Taking cover and trying to get a sight of the situation. Of the perceived attack. However, before Jason could do much a heavy object rams into his chest before landing on the ground before him. It doesn't really hurt, nothing compared to his prior injuries.
A boomerang. A glowing green and silver boomerang laid on the ground before him. Jason's a million and one ways confused as he stared at the device. His hands carefully picking it up, and looking over the softly beeping device.
Jason thinks maybe it's a bomb, but something in his gut says otherwise. He can think of a million different things it could be. Maybe one of the rogues got a hold of their DNA, and it tracked them. Maybe it's going to expel a gas any moment, an attack on the Waynes rather than their vigilante personas.
Except it's none of that. The beeping stops and suddenly a robotic voice sounds from the boomerang.
"Ghost located, prepare for your end ghoul."
Jason tenses once again at the clear threat in those words. His gaze scans around the kitchen, still crouched behind the kitchen counter. Except nothing happens.
Except for a voice ringing out from the boomerang once again. This time, this time it's not a robot. It's a clear record of a young woman speaking. Her voice filled with fear, concern, and urgency.
"Okay, this should work right? You know what, that doesn't matter. No one but you should have a signature. Beside's Tucker thinks he set this up to go to you only. So Danny, you should be hearing this..."
Jason only finds himself more confused. The urgency in this girl's voice was enough to keep his nerves on edge. It sounded important, but Jason had no clue who these people are. Who these names could be refering to.
"Danny... Things here aren't doing to good. Look, I know why you left. You have every reason to. What mom and dad did... It's unforgivable and I don't expect you to come back. But, thing is..."
There's a lull in the recording. The distant sound of soft chatting. If Jason strained his ears, he could somewhat pick of the sound of another woman and man.
"Everyone thinks Phantom is dead. Which I would think is a good thing, but it's not. Danny, the GIW is on a rampage now that you aren't here. Mom and dad are on their side..."
Jason made the conclusion that the speaker was this Danny's sister. The message was intended for him, yet it somehow landed in Jason's lap.
"They have everyone locked up in the school... Radars to see if anyone has a signature, and if they do... They separate them from everyone else."
Jason's brows furrowed, finally pulling himself to a stand. He placed the boomerang on the kitchen counter. Leaning forward as he took in the words.
"We don't know what they are doing. Sam, Tucker, and Valerie... We're all hiding. We'll have the highest signatures, and... Listen Danny..."
Jason had a growing pit in his gut. He knew something wasn't right. These people were in danger. It didn't matter he didn't know about what, or who the GIW was, but these people needed help.
"... We need you. We need Phantom, baby bro. I'm sorry, I know you're still recovering. We can handle things here, but please. Please tell me you're still alive, you're in Gotham right? Tell me you're safe, and you're healing and still kicking Danny."
Jason swallowed, placing his hands flat on the kitchen counter. He needed to get this down to the cave. Have the computer tracked where it came from. But Jason couldn't move, not at the sound of pure desperation in this woman's voice.
"I just need to know you at least made it out of this nightmare. I don't care how you do it, just please let me know things are okay... They have... They have Vlad, Danny. Things are complicated, and I hate to put this on you... But Amity needs Phantom..."
The recorded suddenly broke into static, but Jason thinks he got enough of what he needed. Amity. The place these people were was called Amity. It gave him a lead, something for them to work with.
"Da... We... Help... They..."
Jason could hear the woman's voice breaking through the static. He gripped the boomerang, turning on his heels and heading towards the cave.
"Sam... Mom... Tech... I..."
Every broken word only fueled Jason's own urgency. Jason felt a strange urge, a connection. Something that told him he had to help. They needed to help. The boomerang found him, and that had to mean something.
"... I love you, Danny..."
Those four words were the clearest compared to rhe rest of it. It made Jason's heart seize, and he took a breath. He was going to help.
It didn't matter if Jason didn't know these people. If they weren't from Gotham. This was important, and something told Jason he needed to find this Danny.
Danny would be the only one that would know that to do. If Jason manages to rewind the recording, he was certain Bruce would be equally on board.
That voice, the emotions that dripped from it. It gave the sense that this wasn't just life or death. This was a world ending problem.
And Jason would be damned if he ignored it.
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beatrixstonehill2 · 5 months
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"Is my punishment almost over?" Emily asked her boyfriend, Joey.
"No, not yet, baby girl..... I think you need to learn your lesson a bit longer."
"But....! The tournament is in a month. How can I perform like this?"
"Not my problem.... You should've thought of that before being such a naughty girl, Emily."
Joey wasn't wrong, in a way..... Almost a year ago he started dating an Olympic silver medalist gymnast, who was known the whole world over for her skill and dexterity. Shortly after dating her, though, he was sent something damning by a random person online.... At the time, Emily was basically flat chested, yet had a cute butt and tended to give the cameras sensual, flirty looks, often blowing kisses and winking at the camera, sometimes bending over unnecessarily to give the people filming her something to zoom in on.....
Turns out when pervy guys reblogged these clips and admitted to masturbating to her performance, she would reply, happily encouraging them. On her official account, zero shame, her with the silver medal as her avatar. She'd tell these random men to 'milk their cocks good' and 'cum real hard for her tight little ass', like some porn star. Joey saw this and was very amused..... So, he decided Emily had to be punished--badly. He told her she had to obey him and take breast growth pills, to give the next national gymnastics tournament before the Summer Olympics a good show.
"I'm sorry, Joey..... you know I can't help myself. I love to flirt."
"Which just tells me how badly you need to be punished. Look at this one I found! Some random married guy posted that he wants to throw you in his van, hogtie you, and put 'a pile of kids in your pretty gut'. Did you block him....?"
She shook her head. "No....."
"Oh wait, you went on an extended RP session in the public comments about how he was going to abduct and rape you. Damn, you're one messed up girl."
"Messed up as a guy that makes his girlfriend grow a pair of boobs that weigh 50lbs each? Knowing she's a gymnast!"
"Nah, not as bad. But hey, think of all the hot interactions you'll have on Instagram now! You're gonna step out, not in your leotard, but a bikini, these gigantic udders spilling out. And you'll do your routine.... as well as you can. Think of how many guys are gonna jerk off to that."
"Fuck.... that's so hot." Emily bit her lip, fondling her pussy and breasts. "They're so heavy.... I look like an idiot with these things....."
"Well, you are an idiot. A horny, drooling idiot, too obsessed with fondling that swollen pussy of yours to care whether or not millions see you flirt with married men and RP getting knocked up by them."
"I'm.... it's just a little addiction, is all. I could try therapy...."
"Nah, I think you deserve to be nothing but walking jerk-off fodder. You're done being a real athlete. They'll just have you on because your oversized, goofy looking udders will make so many desperate, horny men tune in. And a whole bunch of normies to make fun of you."
"Fuck you.... you find these tits sexy..... You just came so hard inside me!"
"Well, I find them less sexy than I do the fact that I made you grow them. Understand?"
She nodded obediently. "Yes, master."
"Good girl, now, isn't it going to be fun watching you balance those giant tits and a belly full of my kids at the next tournament? Damn, by the time the Olympics roll around, those tits will weigh 100lbs each. Won't that be so fitting? I can't wait to see you even try to perform..... Then your career will be sitting on OnlyFans, immobilized by those cartoonish udders, masturbating all day like the drooling, horny idiot you really are deep down. You'll be flirting with your desperate, gross fans, all of your regular fans won't want anything to do with you as you sit there ten hours a days fondling yourself, surrounded by a pair of tits too big for you to carry on your own....."
"Fuck you...."
"Don't act like you don't agree. You aren't an athlete Emily, you aspire to be nothing but walking jerk-off material. So you might as well go for gold, isn't that right?"
Emily bit her lip, rubbing her heavy breasts. "Then I better go for 200lbs each...... be totally trapped by these things...."
"Now that's the perverted little idiot I love."
"I aim to please, Master. ❤️"
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reclinepilled · 2 months
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needy, e.w.
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cw: fluff!!! little angst, pet names (baby, beautiful, sweetheart, princess, gorgeous) like one curse word, reader yells at ellie, reader cries a teeny tiny bit, no masc/fem roles are established
desc: gamer!ellie is glued to her game while your patience runs short. also soft!ellie🙏.
a/n: happy march 1st guys! i wanted to share something i wrote while procrastinating some work. thanks for all the support on my last two posts. also the anon that sent in the request, im working on it <3 thank you for reading and reblogs are welcomed and greatly appreciateddd !
wc: 801 (i think)
PLEASE READ HERE ON INFORMATION ABOUT AND HOW TO HELP PALESTINE!!!
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you try not to be so needy, you really do. however, your heart can't help but get a little heavy watching ellie completely ignore your presence on one of your days off. and she's not even ignoring you to study or work, it's to play her stupid games.
sure, you played your fair share of video games, as you had an undying love for that one genre. however, you didn't come over under the impression that you'd be getting lonely in her bed, angry, while occasionally letting out a frustrated sigh. she didn't pay attention to those, too busy yelling at her friends on whatever fps shooter she was glued to.
you got angrier and angrier thinking about it and listening to her mash the buttons on her keyboard and throw insults out into her mic. you swear you can feel the annoyance in your bloodstream. you just wanted to do skincare and facemasks, watch some movies, and maybe even bake with your girlfriend. you decide to put your anger aside and give her the benefit of the doubt. you get up from her bed to remind her of what you two had planned. maybe she forgot?
"ellie, baby?" you say as you grab her shoulder softly to get her attention. she glances up at you then moves her headset off one of her ears, "yea- jesse, what the hell! he was literally one hp!" she yells. "anyways, sorry, what's up?" ellie finally gives you two scoops of her attention. "el, i thought we were gonna spend time together..," you say, shifting your weight to one leg as you cross your arms. "yea, yea, of course. just give me five more minutes," ellie says as she turns back to her game. "you literally said that 30 minutes ago, el," you sigh. "i mean it this time," ellie turns to you, doing a puppy face jokingly.
any other time you would burst into a fit of laughter, however right now, you were genuinely pissed off. you stare at her for a few seconds in silence, she stares back. her face slowly drops as she realizes you're pretty upset. next thing you know, you've reached over and put her pc into sleep mode. "y/n! why!??" she whines like a teenage boy going through puberty. "because, i came over on my day off to spend time with you, i could be getting a manicure or something.. but i've spent nearly an hour and a half watching you play this shitty game!" you yell then you walk out of her room, fed up. you grab your bag next to the couch and start to put your belongings away.
"sweetheart! i'm sorry, i really am!" she says as she follows you out of the room. you ignore her, now putting your bag on your shoulder. "look," ellie comes in front of you and softly slides the bag off of your shoulder, she notices how you're still looking down. she gently grabs your shoulders while looking down at you with an apologetic look on her face, "i am so sorry, i just got caught up in the game. i enjoy you being here, and i find your presence so comforting, beautiful. i never meant to make you feel unappreciated, i'm sorry once again." she takes her hand and lifts your face up, and notices your tear stained cheeks.
ellie's heart quite honestly shattered into a million pieces, she didn't know she made you feel so bad but she understands now. "baby, we can do whatever you want," she pulls you into a meaningful embrace while rubbing your back. "els, i love you, sorry for yelling and overreacting-" she cuts you off, "no don't apologize, it was pretty justified, i was being dumb," she lets out an airy laugh, "i love you back, princess."
she could feel you smile against her chest and it felt like 10 tons were lifted off of her back. she pulls away to place a soft kiss on your forehead, then your nose, one on your cheek, and long one on your lips.
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you straddle her on her bed while softly chuckling at the cute fuzzy animal headband you placed on ellie's head. you roll the jade roller all over her face, working in the serum you applied before. you can't help but admire how pretty she is. her constellations of freckles, each one so unique, her breathtaking deep eyes, and her long lashes you were so jealous of. little did you know, she was doing the same. you looked like a goddess from this angle, the light cascading down on your perfect figure emphasizing it. "hey baby?" ellie grabs your wrist. "yea, gorgeous?" you slightly lean back from her face, raising a brow.
"it's really hot when you yell at me."
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reclinepilled
please do not plagiarize any of my works or post them on other websites without given permission !
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birthday-- c.leclerc social media au
pairing: c.leclerc x female reader summary: Charles makes a post on your birthday and chaos that transcends the f1 world ensues a/n: this is directly inspired by justin long's birthday post for kate bosworth. he is the blueprint for all men until the end of time. I've moved blogs! find me now @formulaforza
charles_leclerc
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Liked by pierregasly, yourbestfriend, and 2,394,261 others tagged: yourusername charles_leclerc The happiest of birthdays to this human, daughter, sister, best friend, wine aunt, badass professional, girlfriend, embodiment of womanhood, soulmate, and everything else good in this world. You are the best parts of each morning, afternoon, and night. You are the smell of fresh laundry. You are the belly laugh of a child in the park. You are the snuggle of a puppy and the morning dew on the spring grass and a pair of jeans that fits every spot perfectly. You are the coal and the diamond, the bottle of Domaine and the box of Bota, the black ice and the fresh snow, refined and messy in all the best ways. You love harder than anyone I have ever met. You are so kind and considerate and giving that we had to put a spending limit on the family holiday gift exchange. You never let us go to bed angry, even if that means we don't sleep. You are headstrong and confident. You are deeply optimistic, believe the lights will come on even if they haven't worked in years, even if you have to fix them yourself, even if you have to use a flashlight and sugar-cookie candles to light the way until they shine bright again. You are fun to wake up with, you are fun to laugh with, you are fun to do everything with. You make my favorite movies and jokes and songs and days better. You pick up the messy pieces and painstakingly glue them back together with gentle and meticulous fingers. You are loved by too many to count. You are loved by me. So much more than a million Instagram captions could ever dream of containing. You are one of a kind. You are everything this world wants and everything it doesn't know it needs. Happy birthday to you, my love. You are the greatest to ever do it. I am honored to love you, more honored to be loved by you. View all comments f1 Happy Birthday, Y/n! carlossainz55 Feliz cumpleaños, Y/n formulagirlyyy1 brb gonna go walk in front of a train madie_nichols holy fuck this is the most romantic thing that has ever happened to me and it's from a stranger to another stranger yourusername Mon Amour. The honor is all mine. Thank you for loving me wholly and unconditionally in every form. yourusername but surely there had to be better pictures tho, no? landonorris hbd y/n one day you will realize how much charity work you do. charles you make me sick. lilymhe this is actually making me feral alex_albon i'm not good with words like this just fyi alex_albon i do love you like that tho
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hunnylagoon · 3 months
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Right Where You Left Me
Pt 4: The Sweetest Thing to Ever Scare You (Finale)
Ellie Williams x reader
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I remember when I first saw you. I remember looking into your warm almond eyes and feeling butterflies in my stomach. But soon, when I looked into your eyes, I no longer felt the same warmth that I once knew. It felt as though you had killed all of the butterflies inside my stomach but yet, I still loved you.
Premise: You and Ellie are childhood best friends until you drift apart. Funny thing about soulmates is they tend to find their way back to each other. You and Ellie try to end the tireless war between you.
Warnings: Angst / drinking / violence / not really religious mentions in this one
Part one here!
Part two here!
Part three over here!
Guys I thought I posted this two days ago but I actually just saved it to drafts. Sorry for being an idiot lmao
I think that I have unlearned how to love.
That’s not even a word but there is no other way to tell you that I have turned myself cold.
Without partying to distract me and religion to fill in gaps of emptiness, I isolate myself and begin to write once again. I'm almost certain that my body has been telling me to write, that I need to pour myself into art as opposed to a girl I was friends with a million years ago.
I figure that I need to create rather than destroy but it might take me a while to do so.
The morning after I abandoned my faith on the church floor, I had woken up and expected Ellie to be gone, however, she was wide awake and playing subway surfers on her phone. Her hair is messy and her eyes are half-lidded. 
She turns to look at me when she feels the shuffling of the bedsheets; despite her doing nothing more than smile at me it is like an understanding passed between us, war is over.
Almost.
It's like I've forgotten how to be soft, I can't manage to get the words out that I need to, and the thought of it alone makes me cringe. "Breakfast?" I ask, unsure of what else to say.
Ellie passes on it and I awkwardly excuse myself, saying that I got called in to take a brunch shift at work. Of course, this is not true. What I do is get into my car and drive and drive until I get mad at myself for burning gas. 
The war between Ellie and I had ended but it didn't register in my head, I almost fell in love with it. Without the constant arguing and passive aggressiveness, there was nothing to put a wall between us and I wasn't ready to be vulnerable again. 
So I begin to feed Ellie the ugliest parts of me; I show her everything I'm sure she will hate but she doesn't, she's patient and shows me the kindness I have been looking everywhere for. Still, I am cold to her, I don't know what else to do. 
I try to push her away all over again but this time, she doesn't let me. Ellie comes into my room when I'm studying to sit on my bed so that she can be in proximity to me. Sometimes she'll ask me if I want to go for a walk or a late-night gas station run, all of the things we used to do.
When I'm angry at her, she lets it happen, she won't escalate the fight all she does is apologize and does what she can to fix it. Everything feels like it's in order again, Joel even starts to send me little text messages to check in on me and sends me Facebook memes that make him think of me.
As of now, we are setting up for Dina's twenty-first birthday. The living room, typically a space for casual gatherings and movie nights, had undergone a transformation. Vibrant streamers adorned the walls, and an array of balloons in assorted hues scattered themselves along the floor "Are balloons too childish?" Abby asks as she walks out of her bedroom.
"They better not be after I just spent half an hour doing all of these," Cat answers, giving her a scornful glare.
"They look great, Cat," I smile and give her a thumbs-up from where I am in the kitchen dumping bags of chips into bowls. "Should I make a veggie platter?"
Cat furrows her eyebrows "If you can finish it by yourself, sure."
"Cat, we aren't children, adults eat vegetables," Abby takes a seat on the couch behind Cat, investigating the hard work she's put into making the living room look nice for just one night "Isn't it weird that Dina is organizing her own surprise party?"
I shrug, placing a wooden cutting board down on the kitchen counter "I don't blame her, I don't think we've always been one hundred percent reliable, me specifically."
"But it's not a surprise if she knows about it."
"So?" Cat asks.
"So why are we calling it a surprise party if it isn't a surprise?"
"Why not?"
"Well, why can't we just call it a party?"
"I don't think it matters," I cut in, I begin to peel carrots and slice them up into quarters. Ellie comes out of her bedroom, she took a nap after completing her physics presentation, her hair in a messy bun, and she's in her typical pyjama uniform of sweats and a hoodie. "Hey, Ellie," I smile at her.
She rubs some sleep away from her green eyes "Hey," Ellie walks over to the kitchen island where I slice and chop vegetables and sits right in front of me. Even half asleep she looks like a statue of marble carved by a skilled hand.
Abby raises an eyebrow, asking 'When did you guys become friends?' without saying it and then it hits me like the plane in Lost. Ellie still hasn't told anyone about our history, our sixteen years of friendship is invisible to the eyes of those who think they know us well.
I'm broken from my thoughts when Abby speaks up "When are you picking up the cake?"
My heart drops "I'm not?"
Cat and Abby cast one another side glances while Ellie snatches a cucumber off my cutting board "Dina was handing out duties and you said you would take care of the cake."
I freeze, unsure of what to say "Nuh-uh." I shake my head like a child denying blame for breaking her mother's favourite dish.
"Yuh-huh," Cat shoots back. "How could you forget that?"
My mind fumbles for an excuse and somehow I land on "I forgot because I went temporarily insane from Lyme disease," What am I saying? "I got Lyme disease because I go camping in secret," I don't camp "And I never told you guys that I go camping because I'm deeply ashamed of it."
Now everyone looks perpetually confused, Ellie included "What are you talking about?" Abby asks, her eyebrows furrowed.
"Okay-well," I place my knife flat on the counter by the wooden cutting board, ignoring the odd spiel I just went on "I'm going to drive to-
"You dropped your car off for a suspension repair yesterday," Abby reminds me.
"Ellie is going to drive me to get a cake," I correct myself "I will be back to finish making my veggie plate." I quickly rinse my hands before grabbing Ellie's keys from the little jewelry dish on the island and yank the sleeve of her hoodie to pull her along.
Ellie doesn't say anything, she slips into some Crocs and we walk outside to her car. "Where are we headed?"
"Uh, hang on," In Ellie's passenger seat, I go on Google Maps to look up the closest bakeries that are still open at this hour, there are two, one a couple of streets away and the other one is across town and closing in twenty minutes. "Infectious Confections," I wrinkle my nose "That's a weird fucking name."
While Ellie tries to make conversation in the car I only speak when giving her directions to the bakery. She knows something is up and I can tell by the way she keeps glancing at me. I just can't manage to get it out of my head that she's still keeping me a secret. 
She pulls up to the bakery and I get out before she even turns her car off, she pulls the keys out of the ignition and trails behind me through the doors.
The bakery itself was rustic and clean, there were two display cases and tills one of the displays held danishes, croissants, cookies, scones and whatever those little swirly flakey things are called. The other display had a big chalk menu above it that read 'Cakery' Though what was in the display case was very sparse.  
"Hi," I walk up to the till, putting on the friendly smile and customer service voice that I usually only use at work. "This is pretty short notice but I was wondering if you had any cakes left or if I could get one made for today?"
The guy behind the counter is a scrawny teenager who looks like he has had a long enough day of dealing with annoying customers "We close in half an hour, there's not enough time to bake and decorate a cake." He explains it like he's said this to a million people, he's bored of the same phrases that his manager has scripted out for him.
"Any shot that someone didn't pick up their cake?" I ask, fingers crossed in the hope that he says yes.
"Let me talk to my manager," His voice drags on, and he turns around and disappears through a commercial kitchen door. I wait patiently, hands balled together in front of me as I rock back and forth on my heels. A minute or two later he comes back holding a bright blue cake with pink detailing of bows and mustaches, there's text on it that reads 'It's a...' gender reveal cake. "This is all we have left, they cancelled last minute.
I look back at Ellie to get her opinion, her eyebrows are furrowed slightly "Maybe we good just get some of those cupcakes and smush them together and smear the icing so it looks like a cake."
I wave her off "I'll buy it," I say this only because it is 5:41 and with each passing minute I am growing desperate, also I don't want Jesse to be disappointed that I fumbled the cake and ruined his girlfriend's birthday.
Angsty teenager puts the bright blue monstrosity into a cake box and charges me an absurd total for it, I bitterly tap my card on the machine. 
As I walk back out to Ellie's car I take a brief moment to look at the sky, it's the same hue as cotton candy and looks as if it had been projected from a watercolour painting, even after I get back into the car and Ellie begins to blast her old dad rock songs, I can't tear my eyes away from it.
After five minutes of silence from my end, Ellie finally asks the question that's been burning into the forefront of her brain "Why are you being weird?"
"Why haven't you told anyone that we met before we moved in together?"
Her dark eyebrows furrow "You haven't told anyone either-
"Yes, I have."
"Who?"
"Yara, Stacy, Kayla, Mitch, Nigel, Carmen, literally everyone from my work," I admit "I just haven't told people who know you personally so it can't make its way back to you because you clearly don't want people to know."
She falls silent, searching her mind for the right words. She clutches the steering wheel tight and looks dead ahead at the car's bumper-to-bumper ahead of us. "I just know how to slip it into conversation."
"I don't think it's that hard, you can just say that we were friends, you don't need to give an intricate play-by-play of everything that happened."
"Why is it important that people know if we're cool again?"
I turn my head to slowly look at her "You are the one who always said 'If we don't have honesty, we have nothing at all'," I point out.
Silence strings between us again, I almost want to throw up.
'We're cool again' Nope, not anymore, we are so very far from cool. Instead of Ellie casting me little glances as she had on the ride there, she ignores my presence almost completely while I glare daggers at her. Was she embarrassed by me? When we went to lunch together why did she lie to Dina about where she was? When she slept in my bed why did Cat ask me if I knew why Ellie came home at eight AM with nothing, not even a key? Did she crawl through my bedroom window to walk around to the front door and pretend she was just getting home?
AND WHY DIDN'T I CALL HER OUT?
She was keeping me a secret and that realization hurt worse than any injury I had ever suffered. She hasn't even told her dead who practically raised me that we lived together. 
God, we weren't even anything and she was keeping me under wraps like I was some disgraceful secret that she would get shamed for holding. The very second she approached our house, I got out of her car, she hadn't even stopped it completely but cake in hand, I hopped out of her car door and didn't look back.
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I think I've had my fair share of partying.
After that month-long bender I had where I went to clubs every night and replaced food with vodka, I never wanted to even look at another solo cup full of liquor. Instead of drinking, smoking, or doing karaoke, I hide from Ellie.
I hide from her in conversations and sometimes sneak into my bedroom just to get a bit of breathing room from all of the strangers in my house. Wherever Ellie was, I was not. If she was outside, I was inside, if she was in the living room, I was in the kitchen enjoying my veggie platter. 
Have you ever been the only sober person around in a group of people? If the answer is no, have you ever babysat a houseful of toddlers? Because it's just about the same thing.
When I'm not hiding from the girl who wriggled her way back into my good graces just to trip herself off the podium, I'm cleaning up, protecting our furniture, holding back hair as girls I've never met sob into the toilet, and stopping the drunk from doing stupid things. 
"Hey, buddy," I take my can of hairspray that this frat-adjacent man is holding behind an ignited lighter "I don't think you would look good as a burn victim," His friends moan in disappointment as I do so, they were very excited to see a makeshift flamethrower; I wasn't in the mood to have my house burn down, or have a guy with peach fuzz waste my thirty dollar hair spray. 
Thirty dollars?
Note to self for later: Make smarter spending choices (And smarter relationship choices!).
I felt a tap on my shoulder only to turn around and see Dina, she wasn't drunk, just tipsy "Smile!" She holds up a camera to her eye and clicks the shudder button before I even have a chance to react the flash goes off. A large Polaroid begins to print out, Dina snatches it and shakes it until you can see my silhouette, my eyes are wide, my hair flying behind me from the quick turn of my head and I'm holding a can of hairspray angled to look like I'm going to spray the camera with it "Cute!" She smiles, tucking it into her pocket for later "Wait, I want a group picture of the roommates."
Dina takes my hand and pulls me to one of the couches where Ellie and Abby sit with some guy, she shoes him to get up and drags Cat over to replace him, she stands me in between Ellie and Abby and lightly pushes me down to sit wedged between the two.
"Jesse, please do not do me dirty with this picture," She hands the pink Polaroid camera to her boyfriend and quickly ushers herself to the far left of the couch where she bends over to kiss Cat on the cheek for the picture. Ellie and I are stiff and awkward when the flash goes off. 
After the picture is taken, Ellue turns to face me just the slightest "Hey, I think we should talk-
"I think it's time for cake!" I push myself off the couch and usher myself to the kitchen. 
I pull the cake out of the fridge, looking at what I had done to salvage it; Below the part that said 'It's a...' I wrote '21 year old!' in chocolate pre-made Betty Crocker icing that I had in the fridge for months, it didn't look the best, but it could've been worse.
Dina, of course, cackles when she sees it. To her, it is the funniest thing she's seen all night. I stick the candles in and light it with the light I confiscated from peach fuzz frat boy and push the cake towards Dina after tucking the light back into my pocket, she is illuminated in the glow of iPhone flash all filming her.
"Make a wish!"
Age Sixteen- Grade 11
I think back to how embarrassing it felt to be thoughtful.
How fragile I felt when I would share my feelings and how frail I seem when I do it now. Ellie was always tougher than I was, in rugby, in fights, just in general. That's why I figured she would be taking it better than me when I cut contact, once again I have been proven wrong.
"Conner, can we please just leave?" I pleaded with my then-boyfriend. The night had started fine but after a couple of drinks Ellie and I were becoming increasingly hostile to one another, it wasn't my intention to speak to her but the universe forced my hand when we were shoved into a circle of our friends and made to converse around the bonfire at the beach.
The salty breeze carried the sounds of laughter and the gentle crashing of waves, the scent of roasted marshmallows wafted through the air.
 "What, you need your boyfriend's permission or something?" Ellie held a can of berry blast Smirnoff, staring into my soul from the other side of the fire, the sparks glitter through the night like fireflies. Her words don't feel too bad but they don't feel too good either.
I cast her a glare before I looked back to my boyfriend "Please?" 
He is getting perpetually annoyed with me he shrugs away from my grasp, "Fuck off, we just got here," He mutters, Conner must think I couldn't hear it. He had already downed three Bud lights and a couple of shots of cheap vodka, now he is nursing another beer in hand. 
"Excuse me?" I say, narrowing my eyes. Everyone around the fire pauses their conversation to tune into mine. "Come on," I stand up and try to pull him along so we can have a conversation away from the prying eyes of our friends.
I can't pull the mass of the 6'2 quarterback along with me but he obliges and follows me where I yank him. As I drag him along the rest of the group giggle and makes jokes along the lines of 'Trouble in paradise' but Ellie is the only one who doesn't jump back into mindless conversation, her unnerving eyes are still on me while I chew my boyfriend out by the shoreline. 
"Why do I have to leave just because you're feeling a little bummed out?" 
I'm almost floored at out someone can lack so much empathy "Because you're my boyfriend?" I can feel myself tensing up.
"Why does that mean you can't get up and leave on your own?" He defends "You begged me to come here and now I just wanna down a couple of beers and hang out with my friends."
"You've already drank like twenty!" I retort.
"It's a fucking party!" Conner says, raising his voice "It's a party and it's summer and you're seriously trying to tell me not to have fun?"
"Fuck!" I shout in frustration "Why don't you ever call me? Why can't you ever let me in?" The argument is quickly escalating "Why didn't you tell me that you kissed Tamar and why haven't you told me that you love me?"
"Because I don't."
My words fail me. I knew he didn't, I knew that he hardly even liked me. My dad had thought so highly of him, she said he was the type of guy to rescue a baby from a burning building but as I look at him now, I figure that he eats babies.
I almost open my mouth to say something different, almost, but I don't. The rest of my life might have turned out differently if I didn't, I might've been able to salvage the rotting corpse of my relationship with Ellie but I didn't. "Fine," I say, voice calm and quiet "Let's stay."
Before that night I had never really gotten drunk but the second I got back to the bonfire, I was digging through the cooler and shotgunning canned Smirnoff. "Woah," Riley laughs "Someone's finally being a bad influence."
I got myself so shit-faced that when everyone else got up to dance to the music blaring through the Bluetooth speaker, I sat by myself at the shoreline, looking bitterly out towards to ocean while the tides crash at my feet and get sucked back into the ocean. For a moment I think about jumping in and letting my lax body get washed away and sink beneath the surface until I wash up as a water-bloated corpse that some nine-year-old will find when they're beach combing.
My mouth tastes like peroxide and blood, my lungs burn with a red-hot pain. The wind is becoming increasingly harsh and I ignore the hair that is tangled into my golden hoop earrings.
"Wow, you look awful," I don't need to turn around to know who it is.
"Can you just fuck off?" I say "I don't give a shit about you, just leave me alone."
She always had to antagonize me, Ellie went out of her way to stray from the group and bother me. It had something to do with the alcohol in her system. Despite her alleged hatred for me, she takes a seat next to me regardless.
"Fuck, you're so sensitive," She scoffs "I don't know why you're dating him, I'm not even sure why you'd want to fuck him unless you're too lazy to jerk off-
My hands think before my head and I deck Ellie right in the side of her face, getting a solid hit to her cheekbone. My hand flies over my mouth "I'm sorry, I-
Ellie doesn't waste any time in lunging back at me, she pushes me down by my shoulders until my back is in the shallow of the water that moments ago just splashed at my feet and takes a swing. The impact of her punch almost knocks me sober.
I take a sharp inhale, grabbing her elbows and pulling her down to where she was the one on her back and I was the one straddling her. I land one last blow to her nose, I hear a crunch and the panic immediately sends me scrambling to my feet. My eyes go wide at the blood dripping down, her face I turn to run but Ellie is faster, she grabs me by my hair and yanks me down further into the water with her. 
"Fucking cunt!" I cry, though my scream is drowned out by the overwhelmingly loud tides crashing on the shore "Get the fuck off me!" 
Ellie is better at fighting than I am, I had never been on this side of her before, usually, I had been the one to drag her away from fights but now I am the one who is going to stumble home numb from the devastating pain.
Frankly, I'm fucking scared.
She continues to drag me by my hair until I'm knee-deep in the water with her, she almost throws her entire weight into me, dunking me beneath the surface where her bony hands snake around my neck. My eyes have gone blurry with the salt water, they sting and burn. I can't see anything, all I can do is uselessly thrash beneath her. My hands push against her face, trying to pry her off my body. 
Eventually, I manage to claw her face with my fingernails, I dig deep enough that it breaks skin and she recoils just enough for me to knee her in the stomach and let me get out from under her. Just as I try to slip away she reaches for my hair again, but instead of tugging on my hair, she rips out my gold hoop earring. I screech out in agony, hand reaching for where the metal sliced through the lobe of my ear, I shudder in pain; my cries are now jagged and harsh.
This is the exact moment Ellie begins to regret what she's done. "Fuck, I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to." Her tone softens and she tries to approach me but I back away from her like a frightened dog.
"Get away from me!" Despite the pain surging in my body, I find the strength in me to hit her again, she staggers back tripping into the water. I hit her so hard that I feel a crack in my knuckle and I yelp out in the immediate shock of pain. 
I wasn't sure when the others had noticed this was happening probably because my vision had gone blurry from salt water and adrenaline but before Ellie could hit me again, she was being restrained by Riley and Kennedy while some guy who I had probably had two conversations with dragged my back to shore.
I keel over on my hands and knees and begin to start retching onto the sand. Laila rubs a gentle hand on my back, my hair sticking wet on my forehead. A seagull, disturbed by the commotion, took flight, its wings cutting through the charged air. 
Next to the pile of vomit I just heaved, blood drips down from my ear, pooling and then soaking into the sand. My neck swells from what is still the raw sensation of Ellie closing her hands around it. 
I look up at Ellie, there is blood that has dripped its way into her mouth, clinging to her white teeth. She has what almost looks like a cat scratch running down her cheek, blood begins to prick and spill from the lacerations.
She stares back at me and we don't say a word but we understand each other clearly, I never want to see you again.
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"Let's go," Ellie grabs my arm as Dina begins to slice the cake "We're gonna fix this right now."
"Ellie, there are so many people here," I say in a hushed tone so people can't hear me.
"I don't mean here," She looks at me, face expressionless "Just get in my car."
"Excuse me?" I say, tone accusing "Did you just order me to get in your car?"
"Fuck," She sighs, dropping my wrist to rub her hands down her face "Please can you get in my car so we can work this through."
"There's nothing to work through," I retort "You're embarrassed by me or you still secretly hate me and that's fine, I meant what I said on winter break about the lease, the second it's up, I'm getting the fuck out of here."
"What? No, don't- just," She takes a breath, reevaluating what to say "I have a point to make but I can't make it unless you get in my car."
We stare at each other for a moment, I narrow my eyes and she is still unmoving. Every scenario runs through my head of what could be waiting for me in that car.
"Fine."
I sit silently in her passenger seat, my knees are pulled into my chest and I rest my chin on them. Ellie doesn't say anything either as she drives. I watch each traffic light pass me, every street name to try and make sense of where we are going.
I almost feel like I'm going to suffocate beneath the silence of everything going left unsaid.
When I spot the boardwalk up ahead, I know exactly where she's taking me "Ellie, why are we at the beach?" I give her a side glance "Do I need to take out my earrings?"
Heat rises to her cheeks when I say this, "Not yet," She jokes, getting out of her car and grabbing a tote bag from the back seat, and I follow in tow.
We walk past the boardwalk and onto the sandy beach, I'm already not feeling whatever she's doing; there is sand filling up my Converse and a slight wind chill, I'm really wishing I had a hoodie right now. "Can you tell me what we're doing yet?" I'm hugging myself in an attempt to stay warm "If we're still walking on the beach why couldn't we have just walked on the boardwalk instead? It literally has walk in the name." I'm already going off on one of my tangents.
She still walking ahead of me but she briefly turns around to face me "Can you just stop asking questions for a minute?"
"Okay, whatever," I mutter, trailing behind her still. I can hardly see in the night, the only light to guide us is the moon and the warm ceiling lamps from restaurants along the boardwalk. I can vaguely see Ellie's silhouette, she's outlined by the gentle glow radiating off the moon, I try my best not to stumble over things poking out of the sand that have been lost to sight by darkness. 
"Okay," Ellie stops, "Here we are."
"Where are we?" I ask "I can't see shit, I don't know where here is."
Ellie digs around in her pocket for her phone and turns on a flashlight and it reveals a small iron firepit that was cemented into a slab of concrete in the sand. She hands me her phone so I can keep the flash on her and she can see what she's doing. 
She pulls out some pages ripped out from her notebook "Can you hand me your lighter?"
My eyebrows furrowed, and I felt around in my pocket wondering if I even had one. I did, it had slipped my mind that I still had the bic lighter that I confiscated from Peach Fuzz. I hand the lighter to her and watch as she tucks the pages beneath logs that were in the firepit before we arrive, they are somewhat charred but still viable.
She flicks the lighter to ignite it and the paper catches immediately. The initial flicker grew into a tentative blaze, licking at the edges of the kindling. The crackling sound echoed through the night. 
Once she is sure the fire can survive without her feeding it, she steps away. "Alright, let's have it out."
"Like sex?" I scrunch up my nose.
"Oh my god, no, like let's talk this through." She pinches her nose bridge, taking a breath in before exhaling and putting her hand back down "We're gonna recreate the night of the bonfire how it should've been," Ellie reached back into her bag and pulled out two white claws "I snagged these from Dina's party, sorry this was kind of last minute."
I can't help the smile that grows on my face, I take one of the white claws and crack it open "I don't know how authentic this is gonna be if there isn't any canned Smirnoff."
I think back to exactly how that night played out and I take a seat on the sand, facing the crashing dark ocean. I sip my white claw, as expected Ellie takes a seat next to me, just what happened on the actual night.
"Wow," She says "You look really pretty and I'm an idiot for ever saying you looked awful," Ellie looks gorgeous illuminated by the orange light of the fire, and the breeze causes her flyaway hairs to drift in the wind. "I'm an asshole for pretending that I didn't know you, I was scared I would get hurt again and take it to heart like I did last time. I promise the second we get home that I'll come clean."
I don't know if I can deal with this sugary philosophy. She's being so sweet that it's rotting my teeth.
"Ellie," I say gathering my thoughts, it was so hard being honest with my feelings, it felt like I would get hospitalized if I showed any emotion. "I was so in love with you in high school that it killed me, and I was terrified that my parents would throw me out well, they did- but that's why I pushed you away and there isn't a day that goes by where I don't regret it." 
The surprise on her face morphs into a soft smile "What about now?" she asks "Do you still love me?"
I shrug, it's honest "I dunno, but I think there's room to try."
She looks from me to the ocean and the way the moonlight glitters off the surface "What happened next?" Ellie toys with the tab of her drink "Did you hit me?"
"Yeah," I say softly, following her gaze out to the waters "But if we're doing the night how it should've been, I'd rather just kiss you."
Ellie turns her head back to look at me. She shoves her white claw into the sand then takes my face into one of her hands and kisses me like it's her job, so tender and carefully like she's afraid I will break beneath pressure.
How weak have I become? My heart is so full of her that I can hardly call it my own.
A/N: Be grateful for this ending because I was very tempted to give you guys an unhappy one. Sorry that I forgot to post this lol, I’m sad this series is over but excited to show you all my next one which may be the angst-iest yet 👀
Thanks for reading!
Tag list: @elliesaturnsoftdrink @elliesaesp @melanie-watermelon @yalaysbee @laundrybag29 @readbydayana @skylerwhitwyo @lmaoo-spiderman @joliettes @kittnii @taylorgracies @sameenatruther @mikellie @belles-hell @fullmachinegirl @eveshyper @whosmica
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mygalriri · 10 months
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ASTROLOGY OBSERVATIONS
I am not a professional astrologer. Some things I say may not resonate with everyone. However, if it doesn't resonate with you, I'd love to hear about your experience. If there are any professional astrologers who find fault with what I've said, feel free to correct me. I am open to constructive criticism. This is my first astro observations post though, so being nice is suggested. 😁
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1. Moon Square Ascendant people may not be very expressive. Like their expression at all times is either "🙂" or "😐" 2. I don't know why but almost all Virgo risings tend to smile awkwardly in selfies, I've noticed this with celebrities too, either they smile awkwardly or don't smile at all I'm a Virgo rising and I cannot smile naturally in selfies at all like ughhh 3. Undeveloped Mars in Pisces men struggle to come in terms with their femininity and want to be seen as this "alpha male" that is overly masculine; often times being damaging to their mental health. Also prone to promiscuity sometimes. 4. Venus in Scorpios can be mean to the people they like at first but will gradually start to grow a soft spot just for the person they like. I've also noticed that they keep making excuses just to see or talk to the person they like. 5. No idea what the reason behind this is, but when your Moon sign matches someone's Sun sign, chances are you like their cooking. My mom and I have this placement combo (she has gemini sun and i have gemini moon and i have taurus sun and she has taurus moon) and we like eachother's cooking. 6. I know y'all have probably heard this a million times in other astro observations, but I'm gonna say it anyway cause it resonates with me. 12th house stellium in a Solar Return chart could mean a year of isolation. I had to ghost the people that I was talking to on a daily basis almost immediately after my solar return. 7. A lot of people think that venus is now you crush on someone AND how you approach them but I think that isn't true. Venus is how you crush on someone and Mars is how you approach/confess to them. I have Mars in Cancer and I had crushes on two women (not at the same time lol) who have Mars in Taurus which is considered to be a weak sign for Mars and I could sense that they liked me too but we never ended up confessing to each other. 8. Having the same Venus sign as someone's Mars sign indicates a strong attraction at first sight, I have Venus in Taurus and as you read from the previous point I can attest to this lol. 9. Jupiter in Gemini, especially men, can be shorter. This is because Jupiter represents expansion, growth and abundance and it is detrimental in Gemini. Jupiter in Capricorn can be applied to men as well but I feel it applies to women more 10. Pluto in 6th house in a SR chart can mean major changes in your lifestyle, since Pluto represents transformation and the 6th house represents how you go about your daily life.
That's all for now. Hope y'all enjoyed it. See you later, folks!
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honeyhotteoks · 5 months
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this night together - chapter twelve (j.yh + s.mg)
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chapter twelve: home is always home
chapter summary: you were planning to tell them how you felt on saturday, but when things go sideways at the studio you find yourself running home as fast as you can.
warnings: this is the chapter i've been warning about for a long, long time. please read responsibly if you're easily triggered by any of the following topics - guy who can't take no for an answer, aggressive/sexist language, physical and verbal assault, panic/ptsd, physical injury/blood, hospitals, police interaction (mentioned), nightmares/night terrors, self harm (sort of?)
notes: please note, if you're reading this on or around 12.3.23 when i'm posting, i've put up three chapters at once. make sure you don't skip chapter ten and eleven! additional notes under the cut~!
pairings: alpha!yunho x alpha!mingi x omega!reader
genre: smut, a/b/o/omegaverse, angst, fluff, romance, polyamory
word count: 11.6k
previous chapter | next chapter | AO3
for my readers who aren't that familiar with a/b/o, i'm introducing something in this chapter that you may not have seen before. i wanted to add some context! if you're new to a/b/o, there is something that alphas have often called "alpha tone", "alpha voice", or just "tone". alphas in many depictions have the ability to lower their voice in a particular way that is seen as a strict command to an omega, and it triggers/activates their submission. this is something that can be used negatively or positively, but in this scene will be negative. there's also something called headspace/subspace that you will see referenced, and an omega can be put into headspace/subspace via alpha tone. it is a bit of a dissociative state where the omega can only really hear and understand commands. this can be used negatively or positively as well, but again, definitely not good in this scene. i hope that helps.... and happy/responsible reading!!
You really, really wish today was Saturday and not Thursday. Thursday just means you still have to get through Friday and then all of Saturday morning before your scheduled dinner with Yunho and Mingi and all the things you want to say are practically eating you up inside. But there’s a right way and a wrong way to tell someone you’ve been an idiot and you’re in love with them, and blurting it out in the middle of dance practice isn’t really going to help make this easier. 
God, you hope they still want you. 
On the plus side, this week has been insane. With the full crew back things are moving at a million miles per hour, and you’ve been in more meetings about what’s coming up next in the past week than the entire time you’ve worked for BB Trippin and KQ.
Your schedule for the next six months is frankly intense. Between preparing for year-end stages and working on the choreography for the newly debuting girl group, you’re juggling conversations about New World’s next comeback and the next round of touring. With the money coming in now there’s an opportunity to take more dancers, and that just means more late nights and early mornings getting everything right. 
It’s after your third concept planning meeting of the week that you find two minutes to talk to Wooyoung, his bag already slung over his shoulder as he refills his water bottle. 
“So, you’re going?” You ask him vaguely, trying not to tip off anyone else in the vicinity that he’s got a date. 
“Yeah,” He nods, eyes flicking over your shoulder to see if San and Seonghwa are nearby, “I think I’m going to throw up,” 
“No, you’re not,” You assure him. 
“I might,” He whines, running a hand through his mop of long black hair, “I never know what to say to him,” 
“Woo,” 
“I know what to say to everyone, y/n,” He lowers his voice, panic evident in his eyes, “but every time Sangie smiles I go fucking blank,” 
“Sangie?” Your eyebrow quirks, “Is that what we’re calling him now,” 
“Shut up,” Wooyoung blushes. 
“Wow,” You prod him softly, “you’re down so bad, it’s been like three days,” 
“It’s so bad,” He grimaces, “this is embarrassing,” 
“Now you see how I feel,” You smirk, “it’s kind of fun being on this end of things,” 
“Please,” He rolls his eyes, “are you telling me you’re not panicking?” 
“Oh, no,” You laugh, “I definitely am. It’s just nice to know I’m not alone here,” 
“I was never this mean to you,”
You hold his gaze, just blinking, there’s nothing to say to that he doesn’t already know. 
“Okay, fine,” He sighs, “but still, feeling like this,” 
“Feeling like what?” Seonghwa’s voice shocks you both out of your quiet conversation and you both jump back from each other. 
“Jesus,” You breathe, “you scared me,” 
Seonghwa smiles, “Sorry,” he shrugs, “everything okay?” 
“Perfect,” Wooyoung takes a step back and shakes his head, “totally good,” 
Seonghwa’s brows come together in the middle, “You seem like something’s wrong, can I help?” 
Wooyoung almost blanches, and you know he’s dreading telling San and Seonghwa about Yeosang, so you jump in to help. “Woo was just helping me figure out Saturday,” You cover and draw Seonghwa’s attention back to you, “you know, figuring out what to say to them,”
“Oh,” Seonghwa nods, but you can see that he doesn’t really buy it, “right,” 
“Anyways,” Wooyoung starts walking backwards towards the exterior door, “I have to go, but you know, y/n, call me if you need to talk more later,” 
“I will,” You nod, “I definitely will.” 
Wooyoung knows that what you mean is that you want detailed date updates, and he almost looks mortified at the idea. He disappears fast, leaving you and Seonghwa relatively alone in the hallway. 
“What is up with him this week?” Seonghwa asks, confusion on his face. 
“He has a date,” You tell him quietly, “he’s kind of freaking out about it.” 
“Oh,” Seonghwa glances towards the door where Wooyoung just disappeared, “that’s not that weird for him,” 
“It is if he’s this interested after only a few days,” You say, “but don’t tease him. He’s kind of worked up about the whole thing,” 
“Who’s he seeing?” Seonghwa asks. 
“He should tell you that,” You beg off the gossip immediately, “just do me a favor and give him a little space to talk to you and San about it,” 
“Okay,” He draws out the word, not sure exactly where you’re going. 
“He’s nervous about upsetting the delicate balance,” You gesture towards him, referring to the carefully constructed relationship that is Wooyoung, San, and Seonghwa. 
“He’s seeing another alpha?” Seonghwa jumps to that conclusion with ease, and you can see how he would get there. 
You’re shaking your head before you can stop yourself, “It’s not that,” 
That does surprise him, and Seonghwa’s eyes widen a bit, “Oh,” 
“Right,” You nod, leading him to the conclusion as close as you can without spelling it out, “my point is, he’s nervous and he’s got a pretty serious crush, and he hasn’t said so but I think he’s scared you and San won’t approve.” 
“I would never,” He stumbles over his words, “out of anyone, we would never judge him, he has to know that,” 
“Hey,” You reach for Seonghwa, stepping a little closer so your voices stay low in the entryway as you brush your hand down his forearm, “he knows, he’s just panicking a little.” 
“Should I talk to him?” Seonghwa asks, his eyes earnest. 
“Not yet,” You shake your head, “he’ll figure it out, just don’t push him right now. I’ve never seen him this anxious,” 
“I won’t,” He promises, “thank you for telling me,” 
“Mhm,” 
Seonghwa chews over your words a second and then decides to let it drop. With a sigh he refocuses on work, “Are you staying late?” 
“Yeah,” You shrug, “I have some things to catch up on. You?” 
“I need to track down San,” He says, “but then after that I’m probably heading out a little early,” 
“Nice,” You nod, “still shaking off the jetlag?” 
He nods, “Unfortunately,” 
Down the hall you watch a few of the dancers gathering up their belongings, and then the door to the back office opens to reveal Yunho and Mingi, sitting close together and studying a computer screen as Jaemin leaves for the day. 
“Well,” Your feet are already moving, “then I’ll see you later,” 
“Sounds good,” He says, and then he gives you a knowing look, seeing exactly where you’re headed. 
Before you know it, you’re moving through the people in the hall and trying desperately to come up with a reason for crashing their tete-a-tete. 
“Hey,” You knock softly on the open door, “am I interrupting?” 
“No, no,” Yunho smiles when he sees you and your stomach bubbles. 
“We’re just watching back practice,” Mingi leans back in his chair, rubbing his tired eyes. 
“Oh, nice,” You say, and your empty words do little to fill the empty space. 
“Do you… need something?” Yunho tries. 
“Ah, yeah, sorry,” You scramble internally for something to say, “I’m staying late, but I’m kind of starving, I just didn’t know if you still had stuff stashed?” 
“Sure,” He gestures towards the cabinets on the side wall, “whatever you want, help yourself,” 
“Great,” You dash towards the cabinets, and you can’t even imagine eating right now with how fluttery your insides have been, but you snag a couple of protein bars anyways. 
The silence is brutal. Not like before, not like the tense and uncomfortable angry silences of the past, but it’s still sitting there between you. Part of you wants to shut the door right now and just get it all out there, but again, you know you shouldn’t. 
Mingi’s warm, chocolatey scent is richer in here, evident after a hard practice of working up a sweat and being given a chance to permeate with the door closed. You feel your body naturally relaxing at it, so comforting and familiar, and then you get the first pang of Yunho’s warm, summer rain. 
You can hardly believe how you convinced yourself that this wasn’t scent sympathy when right here and now it’s so obvious they belong to you. You wonder if they feel it too. 
“Are you okay?” Mingi’s voice snaps you out of your sudden daydream staring at the cabinet full of snacks. 
“Yeah, yes,” You shut them and step back, “I’m fine, just a little tired.” 
“Not sleeping well?” Yunho says, concern all over his features. 
“I’m fine,” You wave him off, “just a busy week,” 
“You don’t have to stay late,” Mingi offers, “I’m sure whatever you’re working on will still be fine tomorrow,” 
“I know,” You nod, “but if I don’t get it out of my system I’ll just be thinking about it all night, you know how it is,” 
Mingi nods, “Still, take it easy later,” 
“I will,” You promise, and you start to turn towards the door when the words just bubble up out of your throat, “you’re both still free Saturday, right?” 
“Yeah,” Mingi answers for them both, “are you?” 
“Definitely,” You nod, “I just wanted to make sure, I’m looking forward to it,” 
“We could do tomorrow instead,” Yunho offers, “after practice?” 
“As long as you don’t have other plans,” Mingi cuts in, “for a Friday night,” 
“Tomorrow works,” You jump at the chance, “I’d actually love that, I just didn’t want to crowd you when you’re adjusting to the timezone again,” 
“It’s fine,” Mingi brushes that thought off, “I’d rather see you,” 
“Yeah,” Yunho nods, “it’ll be good to catch up,” 
You smile, “I want to hear all about the trip,” 
“The trip,” Mingi says, just repeating your words like he’s weighing them out on his own tongue. 
Something about his voice sends a sharp zing up the back of your spine. 
Your body feels a little soft, relaxing bit by bit. 
Yunho’s eyes flick over you, “Are you sure you need to stay late?” 
Something your primal little brain cannot handle right now is the thought of your alphas being protective, not when you’re standing in this room encased by their scents that feel a little too right. Your stomach tightens and you pray that you’re not blushing pink at the flickering thought in your mind of them taking you home. 
You need to get out of this room before they realize it. 
“I’m good,” You tell him, stepping backwards towards the door, “but thank you, and dinner tomorrow is perfect,” 
Mingi says something, you think he’s agreeing, but you’re giving another excuse over your shoulder about how you need to get back to it so you can make it out of this room. 
Your heart is practically beating out of your chest as you leave the office and make it down the hall, heading for the studio room you’ve booked for the afternoon. You nearly run into Dahan and Minseok as you cut around the corner, but you apologize quickly and barely give them a second glance as you hide yourself away in one of the dance studios alone. 
With the door firmly shut you lean back against the closed door and take a deep breath. These feelings are going to work you into a frenzy if you don’t get them under control. Scent sympathy is rare, an almost perfect match between an alpha and omega that makes every part of a relationship heightened, especially once that initial sympathetic bond is fulfilled with a claim. While they were gone you came to that conclusion slowly, the steady ache in your chest so clearly informed by the lack of them, but now that they’re back and here the realization of it collides into you full-force. 
You love them, that’s true. But what’s more is how much you need them, and how much you hope they need you. You can’t let them realize it before you have the chance to say everything you need to say, and if you had stayed in that room a few minutes more they might have felt themselves. With the dinner moved to Friday you just have one more night to get through. One more night, and one more day of work. And then the chips will fall where they may. 
With a deep breath you let the hammering of your heart slow and then you focus back on the work ahead. The more you pour yourself into work the faster these 24 hours will go, so you put your head down and get to it. 
You work for a long time, probably too long, until your muscles are positively aching and any thoughts of Yunho and Mingi are drowned out by lyrics to the chorus of this song that just keeps looping in your mind as you try different patterns of footwork. Here in this bubble you don’t know who’s still at work, who’s left for the day, what time it is, or if the sun has set yet. You just know your own body and every which way that it moves to this one singular song. 
Your hair is hot around your face, sweat clinging to your brow as you finish out the latter half of the choreography that you’re confident with. It’s fast, and includes so much up and down floor work you’re pretty sure you’d be passing out if you weren’t hydrating properly. Focused on your reflection in the mirror you gather your hair up and away and into a knot and then move to find your towel and water bottle. 
The door to the studio opens behind you, and you glance back without really seeing who’s popping in, “Hey,” 
For a split second it occurs to you that it might be Yunho or Mingi and your stomach flips as you start to turn. 
“Hey, y/n,” Minseok’s voice is a bit of a surprise. 
“Oh, hey,” 
He looks like he’s just stopping by to grab something from the far desk in the corner. You’re honestly surprised that he’s still here, he had looked on his way out earlier when you bumped into him in the hall.  
“Are you heading out for the night?” You take a drink of water and catch your breath, leaning against the mirrored wall behind you. 
“Soon,” He nods, running a hand through his dark hair and snagging a sweatshirt hanging over the back of the office chair. 
“Well,” You smile, “have a good night,” 
“You too,” He says as he walks past you, but then his steps slow and you hear him sigh before he turns on his heel, “listen, can I ask you something?” 
“Sure,” 
“I hope you don’t think this is weird,” He takes a few more steps back towards you, “but I’ve actually been meaning to ask you something for a while now,” 
“Oh,” Your eyebrows raise, and suddenly you can see everything in his expression. You know this look. You know the way men get when they finally rip off the bandage and change the equilibrium of a room, the moment they decide they can’t see you as just a friend. What absolutely terrible timing he has.
“I was thinking,” He says, a little pause before the rest and you hope you’re keeping your face nice and neutral, “do you think I could take you out some time?” 
“Out?” The word leaves you. 
He smiles, “Yeah, out, like a date.” 
“I appreciate that,” You shake your head a little, trying to smile and keep things light, “but I don’t think so,” 
His lip quirks and his nose scrunches and you suppose that if you were interested you might find this part of him charming, but you’re not, so it isn’t. “Are you seeing someone?” He asks. 
“No,” You tell him honestly, “not right now.”
“So, I can’t get you to give me one chance?” He takes a step forwards, gesturing between you both and keeping his gaze hopeful. 
“I really don’t think that’s a good idea,” You shake your head, “we work together.” 
“Oh, it’s fine,” He assures you, brushing past the boundary you tried to set with casual indifference, “don’t worry about that.” 
“Still,” You shake your head, “but thank you for asking.” 
You’re not at all thankful for him asking, but he’s nice enough, and it feels like the polite way to keep the status quo. 
“That’s a shame,” He admits, his smile dropping almost entirely, “are you sure I can’t convince you to give me just one chance? I really do like you, y/n,” 
“I’m sure,” That should be firm enough. 
“I thought we were getting along well,” He cuts off the end of your words, “becoming friends.” 
“I thought so too,” You straighten up off the wall behind you, tossing your towel over your shoulder and setting up to walk right out of the studio room if that’s what it would take to end this interaction, “I thought we were friends,” 
You can’t help but emphasize the word friends, and you watch the moment his expression drops more, annoyance flicking through his jaw. 
“I didn’t think you had such a problem seeing people you worked with,” He says pointedly. 
“Excuse me?” 
“It’s just that,” He shrugs, nodding towards you, “I didn’t think it bothered you. Considering.”
“Listen,” You lock eyes with him, “let it go. I’m trying to be nice about this, but I can be clearer. I am not interested in going out with you.” 
“You don’t have to be rude,” 
“Goodnight, Minseok,” You’re not staying for this. 
“I’m a good guy,” He says as you start towards the door, “don’t, come on just stay a second,” 
You keep walking. 
“y/n,” He says, his voice startlingly close behind you, “stay.” 
It’s like your legs stop working, an echoing strike of nerves down your spine and you stumble slightly as his hand closes around your wrist. 
“Let go of me.” You start to turn towards him, pulling your arm back as you do, but he speaks again. 
“Stop.” His voice is so low suddenly, situated smack in the center of his chest, a tenor you’ve never heard from him before. Your legs stop working all together, suddenly feeling like lead.
“Take your hands off me.” You blink hard, your head feeling a little full suddenly. 
“I just don’t understand,” He bites, “we’ve been flirting for weeks.” 
You can’t find the words to tell him that you being nice isn't flirting, but you’re stunned into silence. You can barely even think of a time when you had a sustained conversation with him where someone else wasn’t present. How could interactions that felt so routine to you feel so significant for him? 
“And you’re just… not interested?” He scoffs, “You’re what, twenty-six? Twenty-seven? You’re going to start running out of good offers.” 
So many things about Seo Minseok fall into place with just those words. The way that just a few weeks ago he barely looked at you, barely spoke to you. Always spending his attention on the alphas in the room around you, but never you. How when that tide shifted you thought, maybe naively, that he was just shy. But he’s not shy, not in the least. He’s just another alpha in a long line of alphas who look down their noses at omegas until there’s something they want from them. 
“That’s really none of your concern,” You shake your head, “now get the fuck off me.” 
“Be quiet.” His jaw sets hard. 
So does yours. 
A thousand thoughts run through your brain like a wildfire eating up a hillside of dry bark but nothing can make it past your lips. The tone of his voice has you rooted to the spot, his instructions not suggestions but strict commands. It’s been a long time since you’ve heard an alpha use tone, but it’s certainly the first time it’s been directed at you. You’ve heard stories, the way the primal omega brain surfaces even when you don’t want it to. You thought it was a bit of an overstatement, but now on the receiving end you can’t control your response to him and fear floods you. 
“You talk a lot for an unmated omega,” He looks disappointed. 
Something shrinks inside you. 
His fingers tighten, his body suddenly closer, “But we can fix that.” 
In a breath his hands push you backwards, your back suddenly cold against the mirrored wall of the practice room. Later, much later, you’ll discover that the reason your memory of this moment is patchy is a combination of your omega’s response to alpha tone and full dissociation. You’ll remember little pieces, quick sensations here and there. The same song still looping through the stereo, the sound of his deep inhale with his face pressed against your throat, the sharp pin pricks of his teeth as he seeks out the soft juncture of your neck and shoulder. The way your mind in one heaving breath both screams in rebellion and folds open in acceptance when he successfully locates your gland. 
You suddenly can’t hear right, can’t think right. All you know is his teeth. The hot feeling of breath. He smells like burnt, bitter oranges. He’s talking again, saying something that your conscious mind can’t register, but your omega does, and you stretch your neck long to give him the access he needs. 
And then you’re under. 
You’re dropping before you consciously register your brain entering a new, hazy middle space. It feels like being at the bottom of a deep pool, the sudden, immersive quiet. You understand that someone is talking to you, or around you, but all you can hear is the echoing tenor of an alpha, the words unclear, all cocooned in the water around you. 
There’s a bang somewhere but it feels far away, and you feel pin pricks against your throat. 
Minseok’s overwhelming acrid scent and heavy pressure against you is gone, the sudden loss of his weight leaving you off balance. You think you’re falling, or maybe you’ve already fallen. The world feels tilted, something hard and cold under your back. You smell something sharp and tangy, and there’s something loud in the room but you can’t understand it. Everything is white, bright and intrusive. 
Mingi’s face swims into your vision, and you feel his hands on your cheeks. It takes you a minute to understand anything, but he looks upset, stricken and his cheeks are tinged pink with panicked anger. You want to reach up, soothe his brow and see what’s wrong, but you can’t lift your hand. Don’t move an inch. 
“Jesus,” Mingi glances to his side, “he put her in subspace,” 
Someone responds, but it’s muffled to your ears. 
Mingi’s face darkens entirely, his hands leave you, “I’ll fucking kill him,” 
He’s gone. There’s a scuffle to your side, but you can’t turn your head, you want to, you just can’t. Tears bubble in your eyes, emotion pulsing through you and your breath is tight and thready in your throat. A sharp, whining sob bubbles from your lips. 
Warm rain swims through you, and Yunho’s there, sliding right into the spot Mingi left. His eyes dart over your face and then he looks to his side, his voice firm, “Calm down or get out of here, do you understand me? You’re scaring her,” 
There’s a long beat, noises to your side again but you can’t understand it. Your stomach flips nervously, the place you’re stuck in your head throbbing a sharp spike through your brain. 
Yunho’s warm, brown eyes settle back on yours, his face calm and easy, “Can you hear me, y/n?” 
You can, but you can’t make your mouth work. Don’t move an inch. 
“Can you hear me? y/n?” He asks again, his thumb brushing your cheek, “You’re safe, he’s not going to touch you again,” 
The hard feeling of Minseok’s hands on your hips pushing you into the practice room mirror snaps inside you and you release a soft sound. 
“You can hear me,” Yunho nods, “come on, wake up,” 
“Yunho,” Mingi’s voice is close again, hard and steady, “that’s not going to work,” 
“Why?” Yunho looks up to his friend, “she can hear me, she’s okay,” 
“She’s in subspace,” Mingi pushes his friend to the side, coming into your eye line, “she’s dropped so far under it’s going to take more than that,” 
“W-what do we do?” Yunho’s voice is shaky. 
“Let me try something,” Mingi murmurs, and then his eyes lock squarely on yours. 
Yunho slips his hand into yours, holding you tightly, but you can’t squeeze him back. 
“Omega,” Mingi’s voice is firm, and it’s the clearest thing you’ve heard since sinking under the water, “Come up now.” 
Don’t move an inch.
“You need to come up now,” His fingers tighten on your cheek, “listen to me.” 
Don’t move an inch. 
“Why isn’t this working?” Yunho asks, squeezing your fingers. 
“I’m not sure,” Mingi’s voice is low, and then he shifts closer to your face, “y/n. Omega. Listen to me now,” 
All you can do is manage to make a quiet, tight noise, and even to your muddled brain you can hear the tenor of distress. 
“Come up now,” Mingi repeats, “right now. Listen to me, omega.” 
You’re being torn in two, your primal brain fighting you every step of the way. 
He swallows hard, his voice dropping low in his chest, “Don’t disobey your alpha,”
Suddenly nothing but his voice exists. 
Mingi’s expression is cold, tight and ruthless, his rich tone cuts straight to your core, “When you’re given a directive, you follow it. Now,” He locks his hands on either side of your face and his next words are a pointed and perfectly clear command, “Come. Up.”  
The room is so much louder than you thought a moment ago. There’s shouting outside and you vaguely register San’s voice amongst the mix. The music from practice is still on low. Yunho’s leg is bouncing nervously, the athletic fabric making a rhythmic swish with every bob of his knee. You can hear your blood rushing in your ears. 
“I’m sorry,” You choke out, the first feeling that floods back into your body is intense shame.
“Oh my god,” Mingi’s expression crumbles and he pulls your limp body into his arms “you’re here? You’re with us?”
“M-Mingi,” Your vision clouds with tears again and every feeling that tried to course through your body while you were in subdrop crashes into you sideways.
“Shh,” He rocks you in his arms, “we’ve got you, we’re right here, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry,”
A dull throb radiates through your skull and Yunho takes a sharp inhale, “She’s bleeding,”
“What?” Mingi pulls back, his hand searching your body.
“Here,” Yunho brushes the back of your hair, his fingers coming away with a small line of blood, “it’s not too bad,”
“What happened?” You reach for the cut at the back of your head, nervous tears coming up as you try to understand.
“You don’t remember?” Yunho asks.
“I’m,” You swallow hard, “it was practice? Or I was practicing? I had the room booked.”
“Yeah,” Yunho nods and squeezes your hand, “what else?”
The date. The hard set of Minseok’s jaw when you said no. His hands on your hips, his lips on your neck, the soft drag of his teeth and the flat of his tongue over your gland. Your shirt tearing when he hauled you up against the mirrors. Hands everywhere. Hands nowhere. The white ceiling. His voice, harsh and direct in your ears, the alpha tone unmistakable. Submit. Heel. Don’t move an inch. 
Your mouth is suddenly hot and watery, and your hands are shaking, “I’m… I’m going to be sick,”
“Shit,” Yunho moves fast, sliding across the floor to grab the wastebasket that sits under the desk, pushing it into your hands. 
You wretch instantly, shaking and heaving, losing the contents of your stomach into the plastic bin. 
“Okay,” Mingi soothes, gathering up your hair into one hand and holding it away from your face, “you’re okay,”
“He touched me,” Your hands won’t stop shaking, his voice flooding back, and you heave again, “the things he said,”
“Shh,” Yunho shifts closer, rubbing a hand up and down your back, “you’re safe. None of that is true,” 
“He talked to me like a dog,” You sob, “and I couldn’t move, he told me not to move and I just let him,”
“No.” Mingi’s voice is harsh and you twitch under his hands, “He used alpha tone on you, he wanted you to stop fighting and he said it in tone until you couldn’t hear anything else. You didn’t let him do anything,” 
“I’ve never,” You wretch again, a dry heave with nothing to give and it makes your eyes watery. 
“We’re right here,” Yunho murmurs, “you’re safe.”
When you’re sure your stomach will hold, you push the wastebasket away and drop back to the floor, your head throbbing, “I’ve never been in subspace,”
“You’re not there now,” Mingi soothes.
“I don’t remember,” You manage, looking down at your mussed clothes, “it’s so muddled I can’t remember,”
“What can’t you remember?” Yunho asks softly.
You’re pretty sure you’d register it if his attempt at claiming had been successful, if the word attempt should even be in consideration at all, but the end is so fuzzy you just have to know. “Did he… did we?”
“No.” Yunho’s firm, sliding in front of you so he can make you look into his eyes, “absolutely not,”
Your mouth tastes terrible, but it’s the overwhelming bitter smell of him on you that doubles it and makes you want to throw up again even though your stomach is empty. 
“All I can smell is him,” You scrub your hands under your eyes to wipe away tears, “I can’t even breathe,”
“Take her,” Mingi says, “I’m getting water,”
Yunho pulls you into his arms, sitting back against the mirrored wall for some support and cradling you to his chest, “Come here, is this okay?” 
“Make it go away,” You hold onto his shirt and sigh into his neck, “please, Yunho, please,”
“Just breathe,” He soothes you, “I have you,” 
He smooths his thumbs over the glands in your wrists, easing the initial panic inside you, and then gently draws your head back with his hand, “It’s only me,” He murmurs, “you know I’d never hurt you,” 
Yunho licks a long stripe up your neck, and instantly your body starts to release, tense muscles unlocking and your fingers falling slack. His scent washes over you, enveloping you tenderly. 
“Y-Yunho,” you shudder as he licks another long stripe, moving to suck softly on the fleshy part of your neck that narrowly avoided teeth marks.
“Yes?” He kisses your neck softly, and licks again. 
“Thank you for coming for me,” You exhale slowly.
He stills, sinking closer and resting his closed lips on your shoulder. When he breathes in you hear the catch of emotion, “I thought we were too late,”
“I’m okay,” You murmur, and it’s starting to feel true now that he’s washing away Minseok’s scent.
“God,” He sighs into your skin, “when I heard you scream… I’ve never heard anything that terrifying in my life, I’ve never run so fast,”
“Did I scream?” You don’t remember it.
“Bloody murder,” He nods, pulling back to look at your eyes.
“Yunho,” Your eyes flick up towards the open door of the practice studio, “where is he?”
His hands tighten on you, “Probably nursing his broken ribs. The guys have him,”
Your eyes widen, and the realization that he’s still under the same roof has you trembling in his arms, “He’s still here,”
“Not for long,” He murmurs, “we called the police,”
“But,” Your mind is spinning and you feel the weight of him on your chest once more, “what if he comes back?”
“y/n,” Yunho draws your eyes away from the door, “San and Seonghwa have him, and he’s in rough shape. He’s probably focused on trying to breathe, not thinking about you anymore. And even if none of that were true and he did come back,” he says, “I’d put him on the floor faster than you could blink. Mingi and I both would.”
Your muscles start to relax again, “Okay,”
“You are completely safe,”
Mingi reappears a few moments later, bottles of water in hand, and he smiles warmly, “Hey, you,”
“Hey,”
“Feeling a little better?” He asks, settling on the hard practice room floor and passing you an open bottle.
“I don’t know,” You murmur honestly, shifting in Yunho’s arms so that you’re resting on his lap with your back against his chest. You take a long drink of water and sigh. 
“Listen,” Mingi smooths a hand across your thigh, “the police are going to want to talk to you. They’ll be here within the hour and then we’ll go to the hospital.”
“Why?” You tense.
“Your head,” He nods.
“It’s stopped bleeding,” Yunho assures you, “but he’s right, you could have a concussion.”
“I don’t have a concussion,”
“I didn’t realize you had a medical degree,” Mingi says, a little edge to his voice.
Hot tears well in your eyes at his tone, and you shrink back into Yunho’s arms. You know rationally he didn’t mean to scare you, he’s just worried about you, but after the day you’ve had you can’t help but shrink back in fear.  
“Hey,” Yunho presses his lips to your neck, “it’s alright, Mingi didn’t mean it like that”
Mingi’s eyes blow wide, “Fuck, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean anything,”
“I know,” You tip your head to the side to offer more of your throat to Yunho’s soothing touches, “I’m just not myself,”
“It’s okay,” Yunho says again, returning to your neck and peppering kisses across your gland, and something about this should feel intimate and awkward when you haven’t talked to them yet, but all you can feel is safe.
“Really,” Mingi reaches for you, but doesn’t touch you, “I just want you to let us help, and I’m so angry with Minseok I could kill him, but I didn’t mean to put that on you,”
“Mingi,” You take his outstretched hand, “I’m okay, you just startled me, and you’re right anyways. I’ll come to the hospital,”
He sighs in relief.
“After,” Yunho murmurs, “would you - I mean, will you please come home with us tonight?”
It’s strange how much you feel like it is home, despite only spending your heat there, months ago, so long ago now you shouldn’t still feel this preternatural pull. 
“I don’t know,” You say, even though your body is begging you to agree, to stay with them and only them. 
“I know it’s been different between us,” He murmurs, arms tightening around you, “but you know how I feel. I just don’t want you to be alone tonight, someone should be with you,” 
“Someone you feel safe with,” Mingi adds, “if that’s us,” 
“It is,” You lock your hand down on Mingi’s, “I’m sorry, this is… of course you’re safe, of course you are. I’m just,” 
“Let’s talk about this later,” Mingi smiles, shooting a look at Yunho you can’t quite make sense of, but brushing your fears to the side all the same, “for now, let’s just get you taken care of.” 
You shudder out a breath, letting the warmth and safety of their bodies sink into you. You turn into Yunho, resting your cheek on his chest and matching your breath in time to his. Your thoughts spin, bubbling over as threads of the incident come back to your mind and you press your eyes closed before the question slips out, “Why did he do it?” 
Yunho wraps his arms around you a little tighter, dropping his lips to your hair, “I don’t know,” 
Mingi clears his throat, “He’s about to hit his rut,” he says, “that’s what his excuse was. He said he’s… he kept saying how sorry he was, but,” 
Your eyes snap open, “Sorry? He’s sorry?” 
“Sorry someone interrupted him, maybe,” Mingi’s voice is hard, his eyes firm and unrelenting, “a rut doesn’t make you do that. Not like that.” 
Yunho shakes his head in agreement, “Definitely not,” 
You know that, of course you know it, but after seeing Minseok’s black eyes you’re not so sure. You had never felt completely comfortable with him, but in the past you would have chalked that up to personality differences, and in the past few weeks that had all started to change. He was the kind of guy you wouldn’t date, but you wouldn’t worry about bothering you. 
You sigh softly, “He didn’t seem like himself,” 
“Mm,” Mingi hums, non-committal. 
“A rut doesn’t make it impossible to hear the word no,” Yunho says firmly, “you don’t become some mindless animal. What he tried to do… that’s… a rut’s an easy excuse.” 
You tense up in his arms, a brief flicker of what could have been. His teeth in your neck, your mind spinning into submission. 
“Yunho,” Mingi shakes his head at his best friend, glancing down at you to indicate that it’s not something you can hear right now. 
“I’m sorry,” Yunho soothes, holding you closer if it’s at all possible. 
Your chest tightens, “Can I… I need to get up,” 
His arms relax immediately, hands shifting under your elbows to help support you while Mingi jumps up and offers you his hands to pull you up. Back on your own two feet you waver a minute, but you shake off the dizzy spell and try to get your bearings again. They're waiting on a razor’s edge, hands out and ready to intervene, but you’ve made it clear that for the moment you don’t want to be touched. 
A shout from the hall leaves you jumping, but you register Wooyoung’s voice a moment later, “Where is she?” 
“The studio,” San’s voice replies, “slow down,” 
“Is he in the back office? Give me a fucking minute alone with him,” Wooyoung’s voice is murderous and you smile at how ready your best friend sounds to do battle on your behalf, “I’ll show him what an omega can fucking do,” 
“Youngie,” San’s voice is even and warm, keeping things soft, “you need to calm down,” 
“Calm down,” He scoffs, his voice getting closer as he travels down the hall and you know he’s almost at the door. 
“I hardly think y/n needs,” San starts to say, but then they round the corner. 
Wooyoung’s eyes are wild, searching and terrified, and something inside you shatters. San’s words die on his lips when he sees you, and in a startling moment of clarity you rush forwards and into Wooyoung’s arms. 
“Shh, shh,” He wraps you up tight, one hand at the back of your head as he rocks you back and forth, “you’re safe, you’re in one piece,” 
“Woo,” Tears come fast, and you bury your face in his chest. 
“Stupid fucking alphas,” He curses into your shoulder and you can hear his breath hitched and clouded with tears of his own, “acting like they can take whatever they want,” 
You’re sure the rest of the room is bristling at that comment but you couldn’t care less. 
“You want me to break the rest of his ribs?” He kisses your head, “I’ll make it look like a fucking accident, I swear to God,” 
“Woo,” You laugh into his chest, vision blurry with unshed tears, “stop, that’s insane,” 
“I am nothing if not a little insane,” Wooyoung squeezes you, “and you and me? We protect each other, right?” 
“Always,” You grip the back of his shirt like a lifeline. 
The bond between omegas can’t be understood by a single other person in the room, maybe even in the building. You cling to each other in the middle of the studio floor, encased in this moment of shared grief. Of what you are and what that means. He shifts you in his arms so he can look at your face, cupping your tear stained cheeks. 
The sight of his own tears makes yours come faster, “What did I do?” 
His expression hardens and he shakes his head, sucking in a harsh breath, “Nothing, not a single fucking thing. Do you hear me?” 
“Woo,” You want him to let you go. You want him to tug you close again. 
He shakes your shoulders hard, and in your periphery you see Mingi take a half step forward as Wooyoung pushes back on your words, “You didn’t do anything. You’re existing, and he tried to take advantage of that. This isn’t your fault, there’s nothing you could have or should have done.” 
You open your mouth to say something but he plows forward. 
“Alphas take, alright?” He shakes you again, more gently this time, “We’re lucky. You and me, we found good ones, but alphas are programmed to take, and we’re programmed to give. He used it against you. Nothing else.”
Your breath hitches, and you launch yourself at him, wrapping your arms around his neck and letting him cradle you again. 
“Shh, shh,” He rubs your back, soothing you again. 
“I hate this,” You manage, your face buried in his shoulder. 
“I know,” He eases you, “I fucking hate it too,” 
You hold each other a little longer until both of your tears start to subside. You stay steady in his grip, his fresh salt and cotton scent lulling you into safety. The buzzing of your brain starts to release, and the fear is still there under your skin but at least for now it’s low and letting you breathe. 
Nuzzling into his shoulder you sigh, “What are you doing back here anyways?” 
“San called,” He kisses your hair, “I broke several laws getting here,” 
You laugh against his collarbone where his oversized t-shirt is pulled down, no doubt from the way your hands grip whatever part of him you can. 
He rubs a warm hand up and down your back and when he speaks again it’s not to you, this time he addresses the alphas in the room. He clears his throat softly, head lifting up and away from yours, “So, who busted his nose?” 
“Uh,” Yunho makes a small sound behind you, “that would be me,” 
“Good,” Wooyoung says, “when she stops crying I’m giving you a handshake,” 
You smile against his damp skin and shake your head, “I’m not crying, I’m fine,” 
“Sure,” Wooyoung murmurs, but he doesn’t let you go, just strokes your back more until you settle further into him. 
“The police will be here soon,” San murmurs, his voice staying relaxed and steady to make sure everything stays level in the room. 
“Right,” Wooyoung sighs, “y/n, can I let you go? I don't have to if you’re not ready,” 
You nod immediately though, unwinding your arms from him and taking a ginger step back. He gives you a soft smile, and you scrub the last of the tears from your face with the sleeves of your sweatshirt. He gives you a minute to stand steady and then turns to Yunho and Mingi who both look frozen and unsure of what to do or what to say. 
“You both got him off her?” He says, matter of fact. 
“Yeah,” Mingi’s voice is tight, like he had been choking back tears of his own, and Yunho simply nods. 
“Thank you,” Wooyoung tugs Mingi into a hug and squeezes him tight before shifting to Yunho to hug him too, “seriously,” 
Once they break apart, you’re left all in a haphazard circle, and you can feel all the eyes on you. It makes you so tired, dizzy, ready to be done and just crawl under a blanket for the rest of the week. In the back of your throat you still taste bitter orange. 
“Um,” Your voice comes out a little more scratchy than you want, and you clear your throat, letting everything fade. 
“What is it?” Yunho asks gently. 
You don’t know how to ask this, how to beg them to keep holding you together so you can just get through existing in this room. You sigh, the deep exhale making you dizzy again, and step towards him, “C-can I,” 
He opens his arms immediately, letting you close the space so he doesn’t assume your needs, but as you collide with him again he responds perfectly, scooping you up into his arms and letting you wrap your legs around his waist. He supports you with ease, an arm under your thighs and another situated high on your back. 
“Better?” He murmurs, smiling a little as you bury your head in his neck. 
You nod into his neck, and then you allow yourself one tiny moment of weakness, listening to your body and what it needs for once over your anxiety. You mumble it into his neck, but he hears you when you say, “Yunho?” 
“Yeah, baby?” His voice is so soft, quiet like he’s afraid of what you might say. 
You don’t miss the way Wooyoung’s eyebrows go high at the endearment, but you ignore him and focus instead on the man holding you up, together, in one solid piece. You lift your head so he hears you clearly, “Will you please take me home?” 
He goes still and turns his head just a little, “Your apartment or,” 
“Take me home with you,” You repeat, “I want to go home,” 
This will surely just make everything more muddled and foggy between the three of you tomorrow in the cold light of day, but you don’t care. Right now you just want to be home, in whatever form that means. 
He exhales low and shaky, “Alright,” he murmurs, kissing your throat softly to help calm your trembling, “I’ve got you, let’s go home,” 
A warm wide palm rests on the center of your back, and Mingi leans in close to catch your eyes, “y/n, can you look at me a second?” 
You pull your head up from the crook of Yunho’s neck where you’ve just been taking deep steady inhales of wet earth and meet his eyes. 
“Hey,” He smiles. 
Your eyes dart between him and Wooyoung, who seems suddenly ancy. “What?” You straighten up a little more in Yunho’s arms. 
“You can go wherever you want,” He starts off, “but do you want us to take you home, or would you feel more comfortable with Wooyoung? Or… Seonghwa, if… if that would be better for how you’re feeling,” 
Yunho tenses a little, his fingers tightening where he holds you, and you can feel him physically holding himself back from saying a single word, from begging you to come with them. 
You’ve made up your mind though, and within a second you’re shaking your head, “No, I want you,” 
Yunho relaxes, his lips returning to your throat and you sigh. 
“Then you have us,” Mingi assures you. 
The sound of the elevators in the hall stop you all cold though, and San holds up his hands, “I’ll go see, it’s probably the police,” 
The idea of talking to them suddenly makes you sick, and you’re sure it shows all over your face. 
“It’s going to be fine,” Wooyoung jumps back in, “don’t worry, we’ll be there the whole time.” 
You need this to be done. You grip down on Yunho’s shoulders, “I want to go home,” 
“I know,” Mingi nods. 
“Y-Yunho,” You’re scrambling a little in his arms, sudden panic swirling in your gut, and you twist to find his eyes, “please, get me out of here, please take me home,” 
You feel it the minute he chooses you over anything else, “Okay, alright,” 
“You need to talk to the cops,” Wooyoung shakes his head, trying to reason with you. 
You’re trembling in Yunho’s arms and he shakes his head, “She needs to go,” 
Mingi senses your heightened emotions too and you feel it when he moves closer, both of them shifting to protect you, “She can do this later,” 
“I don’t know that that’s such a good idea,” Wooyoung insists. 
“I couldn’t give a fuck,” Yunho grips you tighter, “we’re taking our girl home,” 
“Your-” Wooyoung scoffs when he hears the words, “fucking alphas,” 
“Who she wants to take her home,” Mingi points out, a distinct edge to his voice. 
“Stop arguing,” You beg them, hanging onto Yunho’s shoulders, “please, please,” 
“Fuck,” Yunho relaxes, stroking your back, “I’m sorry, of course we won’t, I’m sorry,” 
Mingi brushes his hand over the back of your head and Wooyoung gives you an apologetic face, his defensiveness over you is understandable, but he also knows how you feel about these men and you watch him choose to hold his tongue. 
A knock on the door brings you all back to the present, San handling the situation with more grace than any of you combined, “The police said that they can speak with you at the hospital and make it brief.” 
You exhale heavily and nod against Yunho, “Okay, fine,” 
“Are you sure?” Mingi strokes your cheek. 
“I just want to be done,” 
“Should we stay with you?” Yunho murmurs. 
“Please,” You grip his shoulders. 
“Alright,” He sighs, “Woo, could you… I’m sorry, can you grab her things? Let’s just try to make this quick for her,” 
Wooyoung clears his throat, his eyes never leaving yours, “Yeah, I got it,” 
“Uh,” San interrupts as you all try to gather your things, “Yunho, they want to talk to you first, they’re waiting in the back office,” 
“Oh,” 
“They have some questions,” San explains quietly, “but she she doesn’t need to be there for that,” 
“Right,” Yunho nods and then presses a kiss to your hair, “can I put you down, sweetheart?” 
Your chest warms. 
“No, here,” Mingi cuts in, his hand sweeping over your back and you feel them shift you from Yunho’s arms to his, “come here,” 
He settles you against his chest and you wrap around him just the same, soaking in the warm scent of cocoa and cinnamon. You let your eyes drift shut as you rest on his shoulder, “Hey, Mingi,” 
“Hey,” He says softly. 
“Thank you,” You sigh. 
“Mhm,” He rocks you a little as he takes your bags from Wooyoung and slings them over his shoulder, the combined weight of it and you not fazing him at all, “I told you once I’ll always be here, I meant it,” 
“I believe you,” You murmur into his throat. 
You rest here, Mingi’s thumb rubbing a comforting line over the back of your neck. 
“Time to go,” Wooyoung’s voice pipes back in, “there’s a car ready, Yunho will be there in a a few minutes,” 
“Alright,” Mingi presses a soft kiss to your hair, “here we go,” 
He carries you with ease, and you sink into the steady thump of his heart under your palm that’s keeping you grounded. Over his shoulder you watch Wooyoung walking with you and you see police officers down the hall. The door to the back office swings open and Yunho is leaning against the desk as he speaks with an officer. Seonghwa sits in a chair next to him, his head in his hands, blood coating his knuckles and the sleeves of his shirt. Something pulls in your gut, begging you to go to him, but then you’re outside and all you can feel is Mingi holding you as he ferries you into the car. 
“Do you need anything?” He asks as he settles you into the passenger seat 
“I don’t know,” You tell him honestly, letting your head drop back against the seat and taking a deep breath, eyes slipping closed. 
“Don’t fall asleep,” Wooyoung jumps forward, “keep your eyes open,” 
“I’m fine,” You tell him, but you still do what he asks. 
“Just in case,” Wooyoung presses, “you shouldn’t fuck with head injuries,” 
“He’s right,” Mingi murmurs, crouching next to you just outside the car, “and I’m sure you’re fine, but let’s just be sure, okay?” 
“Okay,” 
  A noise just past the two of them makes you jump. 
“It’s just Sannie,” Wooyoung assures you. 
You nod and Mingi takes your hand in his, lacing your fingers together. 
“Yunho’s almost done,” San announces, but he hurries to the car and leans in to check you, “doing okay?” 
“Yeah,” 
“Can you do something for me?” He cups your cheek to bring your eyes up to his. 
“Mhm,” You nod again. 
“I need you to just focus on us for a minute,” He moves to crouch next to Mingi, and then Wooyoung steps closer too, blocking out some of your peripheral vision. 
“Why?” You fight the urge to turn around. 
Red and blue lights flash in the car mirrors and you reflexively glance up at the rear view mirror, catching sight of an ambulance, and tension fills your stomach. 
San reaches up and catches your face again, “Hey, look at me,” 
You pull your eyes away, “Are they here for him?” 
“Yes,” San nods.
“Is he badly hurt?” Your mouth feels dry. 
There’s a pause and then Wooyoung sighs, “Don’t lie to her,” 
Mingi clears his throat softly, “He’s pretty busted up,” 
“Good,” You breathe. 
San smiles, taking your other hand in his and smoothing his thumb over your knuckles. The sound of the doors catches your attention again, and you resist the urge to turn around once again. San shakes his head a little, “Just keep looking at us,” 
“He really picked the wrong person to fuck with,” Wooyoung says, his hand resting warmly on your shoulder. 
An image of Seonghwa and his bloody knuckles flashes through your mind and your breath quickens, “Is Hwa okay?” 
Mingi’s brows draw together. 
“He’s fine,” San assures you immediately. 
“I saw blood,” You can’t articulate it exactly, the image is just static in your mind. 
“It’s not his blood,” San promises, “we’re all fine, Seonghwa is fine,” 
The sound of the ambulance doors swinging shut makes you jump. 
“Shh,” Mingi squeezes your hand, “you’re safe, you’re with me,” 
Everything in your body feels tense and stretched thin, but Mingi’s hand is solid in yours and you grip down on it, letting it tether you. 
You listen as the ambulance pulls away, your muscles unclenching one by one as the sound of the vehicle fades. 
“Woo,” You manage, “can you check on Hwa for me? And text me?” 
“Yeah,” He assures you, “I got you,” 
“Take a deep breath,” Mingi instructs you, “please, for me,” 
You take a long inhale and meet his eyes and he nods as you let the breath out low and slow through your nose. 
“Again, please,” He nods. 
You breathe again, the same steady pace, “I’m tired,” 
“It’s the adrenaline wearing off,” Mingi tells you, “but as soon as a doctor says you can sleep, you can rest,” 
“Okay,” You nod. 
San’s hand disconnects from yours and he starts to stand, “Yunho’s done,” 
You twist in your seat to see him, Wooyoung stepping out of the way, and you can see Yunho jogging towards the car, “Everything okay?” 
“Mhm,” Mingi keeps himself calm for you. 
“That took forever,” He says, “I’m sorry,” 
“It didn’t,” You shake your head, “don’t be sorry,” 
“You should go,” Wooyoung interrupts, “get her looked at,” 
You find your best friend’s eyes, “You’ll text me?” 
“Of course I will,” He nods, “but right now just focus on yourself. We’re all okay,” 
You nod, and your eyes feel heavy again already. You know they’ll be trying to keep you awake in the car at this rate. 
“Let’s go,” Mingi nods, “can I have my hand back for a minute?” He smiles at you. 
“Sorry,” You drop his hand, almost embarrassed at the way you’re clinging to him. 
“Go,” San ushers Yunho towards the driver’s side, “if you need anything, we’re here,” 
Before you know it everyone’s moving and your car door is shut. Yunho slides into the driver’s seat to your left and Mingi moves into the backseat behind you. 
You meet Wooyoung’s eyes through the window and he rests a hand over his chest. He mouths a simple message - I love you, okay?
You nod and the car starts to move, but you know he knows you love him too. 
Mingi shifts forwards in his seat as Yunho starts to drive, and his long arm reaches around to find your hand again. He laces your fingers together once and this time he doesn’t let go. 
________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Later that night, the warm, rich scent of their apartment almost takes you out at the knees when you finally cross the threshold, so overwhelmingly comforting and enveloping that you want nothing more than to bury yourself inside the feeling for days. Mingi nearly runs into your back when you stop short in the entryway and Yunho’s watching you carefully as he hangs up your jackets. 
“What?” Mingi nudges you gently. 
There’s a million things to say. Things left unsaid after your last conversation, that fight you wish you could forget. The letter. All the things you were planning on confessing Saturday. The way you want so badly to erase today and just be with them. Every ounce of their soothing physicality after Minseok brings all your emotions up tenfold. Their tenderness almost chokes you. All the things you want to say are stuck in your throat. You need to get your head on straight. You need sleep. 
“Hey,” Yunho waves a hand in front of your dazed expression, “are you alright?” 
Not really. The hospital was long and awkward, seeing a glimpse of Minseok’s name on a hospital room door even worse, and the police had so many questions that all sounded fairly judgemental. Not to mention the probing questions from the hospital staff about your cycle and if you’re close to pre-heat. As if that matters at all. You settle for something a little less dire though, “I’m fine, sorry, it’s just been a while,” 
Yunho’s ears darken to a deep shade of pink and he nods. 
“You can sleep in my room,” Mingi offers, “like before. We can stay or not stay, it’s up to you.” 
“I’d like to be alone,” You tell them, “if that’s alright,” 
“Of course,” Mingi smooths a hand down your arm, “whatever you want.” 
“Um,” You sigh heavily, “honestly I’m exhausted. I think I might just shower and sleep as long as you don’t mind,” 
Yunho shakes his head, gesturing towards the hall, “Not at all, just… call if you need anything,” 
You start back towards the bathroom, your eyes down and away from them, but Mingi calls out, “You remember where everything is?” 
There’s no way you could forget, and you call back that you’re fine. You got it. You just need to be alone, alone is good, alone feels safe. 
In the shower you scrub your skin raw, spending extra time and attention on your glands even though it makes your skin there puffy and red, pinpricks of blood at the surface of your skin and lilac bruises surrounding every edge. It doesn’t matter how comforting their scents are, nothing is taking away the deep intent of Minseok’s mouth on your neck - and the bitter, burnt citrus smell takes ages to wash away. By the time you finish, you’re about ready to collapse. 
Mingi leaves you clothes again, folded neatly on his bed and ready for you. They’re nowhere to be seen, taking your plea for time alone seriously. He’s laid out a clean pair of sleep pants and a t-shirt, both fresh from the wash. The hoodie you had stolen during your heat lies next to it, and it’s a kind gesture, but suddenly you don’t want it. You want nothing. 
You toss the hoodie to the side and start to climb into the bed, but that smells so heavily of cinnamon spice that you can’t think straight. You had just gotten used to blissfully smelling nothing after your shower, and so you strip the bed entirely, discarding all of the pillows and blankets and sheets into the farthest corner of the room. 
The mattress is bare now, but once you turn the circulating fan off you fix the issue of the cold and his scent washing over you every time you try to close your eyes. You can still sense him, sense them, somewhere in the background, but here on the stripped bed in sterilized clothes with your skin rubbed raw, you can rest. 
You drift into sleep this way, your head clear. 
It doesn’t stay that way for long. 
You’re not sure how long you’re asleep before you wake in abject terror, but it must be at least a couple of hours with the sky outside pitch dark and the apartment completely quiet around you. It’s obvious you’re the only one awake, but your brain can’t quite process it right. All you feel is shaking fear and the echo of hands pressing you into the wall, fingers in your hair yanking your head to the side, teeth grazing against your throat. 
You scramble back, only to find the edge of the bed and you collapse off of it, ending up on the wood floor with your head spinning, Mingi’s bedside table lamp crashing down after you, a harsh flash of light pulsing through the room as the bulb breaks and gives one final dying flicker. 
The pleading whine that’s caught in your throat sounds like a trapped animal to your ears, the pounding of your heart threatening to break your chest, blood rushing through your ears like a train. You can’t grasp reality, everything feels hazy and disconnected. 
The door to your right bangs open, Yunho bleary and confused, but responding to your heightened state of fear within a moment. “Mingi!” He calls over his shoulder, “Mingi, get up right now,” 
There’s a faraway faint noise from the other room. 
Yunho skids to your side, careful not to touch you as he tries to meet your eyes in the dark, “Sweetheart, it’s just a nightmare.” 
Part of you knows that you’re awake, safe and home, and not trapped in subspace with a threatening hand in your hair, but you can’t quite grip back to reality. You stutter out a reply, “I-I can’t breathe,” 
“Mingi,” Yunho calls back over his shoulder again, “right now!”
“Please,” you whimper, part of your brain still lodged in the nightmare, “I can’t breathe,” Your hands cling onto the edge of the rug.
Mingi stumbles into the room now, half asleep but forced into consciousness and he’s shaking himself, catching up quickly, “What’s going on?” 
You hear him, but your body is stuck remembering and you feel like there’s a weight on your chest, pressing you down harder, “I can’t breathe, I can’t breathe,” you stutter. 
“Sweetheart,” Yunho comes closer now, his body curling around you carefully with his face directly at your side, “it’s a nightmare, you’re safe.” His arms loop around you gently, but stay open in case you need to move.
“I can’t,” you shake your head, images swimming before you. 
“You’re not there,” he tells you, “we’re home, you’re with us, me and Mingi,” 
You wheeze, trying to regulate your breath. 
“Get a light,” Yunho pleads suddenly to the dark room, and you can hear scrambling, “she can’t see where she is, get a light on.” 
Mingi trips over the discarded lamp on the floor, and fumbles back to the lightswitch on the wall near the door, searching for it with his hands but reluctant to tear his eyes away from you. Suddenly the room floods with the overhead light, a stark fluorescent glow, and the black spots across your vision start to clear.
“I have you, I have you,” Yunho repeats, holding you to him. 
Your hand searches blindly for Mingi on the other side of you and he collapses next to you both, taking your hand and moving in to cradle you from the opposite side, “Baby,” he murmurs, “look around, look where you are,” 
Yunho’s hand on your thigh grounds you, and then Mingi softly touches your jaw to draw your gaze to him, “Look at me,” 
Your eyes flick up. He looks tired, exhausted even, his hair a wayward haystack. You blink hard, “What happened to you?” 
“To me?” Mingi’s brow furrows and he glances up past you to Yunho. 
“You need sleep,” You manage. 
Mingi laughs sharply and cups your cheeks, “I’ll sleep later. Can you tell me where you are?” 
“Your place,” You manage, and you feel the nightmare receding back into your mind inch by precious inch, your breath steadying out. 
“Yeah,” He sighs, “Yeah, that’s right,” 
“I’m home with you,” You repeat, your fingers sinking into the plush rug beneath you. 
Yunho swallows hard, fixated on the way you’ve called their apartment home, not their home, for the third time tonight. You watch the flicker of recognition in his eyes, but he lets it pass and so do you. 
Tears well up in your eyes again and you sigh, “I’m sorry about your lamp,” 
“What?” Mingi’s brow furrows, “Who cares about that?” 
“Still,” You manage, “I’m such a mess right now,” 
“If you weren’t a mess I’d be more worried,” Yunho takes your hand in his, squeezing your fingers, “and you can take all the time you need to be a mess, we’re here.” 
You slump forwards onto his shoulder, “I’m… so tired,” 
“Let’s get you back to bed,” Yunho soothes, his voice soft. 
You nod, letting them both ease you up to your feet, but when they turn to the bed Mingi makes a soft, confused noise, “Where?” 
“Oh,” You gesture towards the corner where all his bedding is wrapped up in a ball, “I’m sorry I was just… it was too much,” 
Mingi’s jaw tightens, the muscles in his neck jumping as he swallows hard, and you know he’s holding down so much anger, that someone could have scared you enough that any alpha’s scent became overwhelming, that your fear might extend even to them. 
“Okay,” Yunho cuts in easily, “whatever you want,” 
He eases you back onto the mattress, but the idea that they might be gone again strikes a deep lance of panic through your stomach and you grasp his arm, “Don’t go,” 
“Are you sure?” He murmurs. 
“Please,” You insist, tugging his arm again. 
He eases down beside you, and Mingi crosses to the opposite side of the bed so he can follow suit, sidling up to your back but careful not to touch you until you make it clear that you want him to. You fold your arm underneath your head and rest yourself down, and when your hair shifts off your neck you hear Yunho’s sharp intake of breath at the sight of your tender gland. 
“Baby, what,” He reaches for you, fingertips hovering, “sweetheart, what did you do?” 
“I’m fine,” You murmur but when you feel fingers gently coast over the raw skin you hiss sharply in pain and both their hands pull back. 
“y/n,” Mingi’s voice is low, shaky, and he scoops up your arm to check your wrists, finding them as swollen and bruised, “oh my god,” 
“I know,” You murmur, letting your eyes drift shut. 
“This is not okay,” Mingi sounds pained, “you can’t hurt yourself like this,” 
“I’m okay, I promise,” 
“We could have helped,” Yunho insists, “we could have scented you again, both of us, or called Seonghwa, or something, anything,” 
“Seonghwa?” You start, but Mingi cuts you off as he pushes your hair further to the side to see more of your neck. 
He makes a tight noise with his tongue against his teeth, “These look tender, Yunho’s right,” 
“You scented me plenty,” You shake your head, letting your hair fall back into place, “but I promise, I’m okay,” 
Mingi wraps his arms around you from behind, tucking you close to his chest and dropping his head onto yours, “You’re scaring me,” he confesses into your hair. 
“I know,” You murmur, “but I wasn’t trying to hurt myself,” 
“And now?” Yunho asks softly. 
“I’m a little better,” You pull him closer, “I was overwhelmed earlier and… even you both I didn’t want, but now? I feel safer, clearer,” 
Yunho kisses your forehead, letting his lips linger as you all get your emotions back in check, “Okay,”  
“Can we stay just like this?” You nuzzle into him, pulling Mingi in closer behind you until you’re snuggled up so tight you might overheat . 
“I’ll be wherever you want,” Mingi wraps his hand around yours and tucks them into your chest.
Yunho murmurs his agreement softly and you nod, letting their heat soak into your body and releasing your tense muscles bit by bit. You were supposed to tell them how you felt already, you need to get it out in the open before things get too blurry again, but right now you have to let it go. 
Silence stretches between the three of you, their breathing even and low, and you’re not sure if they’re asleep or awake when you make your quiet plea in the dark but in a whisper you beg them to never, ever let you go again. At least for tonight, they hold you fast.
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gin-juice-tonic · 24 days
Note
my mother forbade me to cut my hair short ‘cause i’m supposed to look feminine😀 i hate it when she puts it like that. anyway, do you have any hairstyle recommendations to make my long hair more bearable? OR hairstyle recommendations in general, in case i can't stand it and go get a haircut in secret, lol
There's lots of ways to have masc long hair. I don't know a lot of names of things, so I just picked pictures. And I don't know what your hair type is, so I just kind of tried to pick a Lot of pictures. How your hair will be read will depend on other factors too, like the things you're wearing, so keep that in mind also.
The first thing you could do is just grow it and grow it and grow it. It might be the last thing you feel like doing, which is fair. Though I did this in high school when I was forbidden from cutting my hair short with the attitude of "you want it long? FINE. I WILL GIVE YOU LONG." So I could at least smirk at my act of rebellion. This hair is reminiscent of metal bands, skaters and surfers, and 90s grunge.
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If you want to add to it, I think wearing a hat or other accessory can up the masc factor. In school or work you may not be able to get away with this though.
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I could not find any cowboy hat pictures, but that's also a pretty good look if you've never tried it.
The next thing I thought of was the longer hair of the 60s and 70s. Skip this section if you don't have straight-ish hair or don't want to straighten it. Tended to be more styled than the longer hair above. It might feel reminiscent of "feminine" styles, I suppose. But fashion is weird like that. It might help if you re-frame your thought from "feminine" to "old school"
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You may notice some of these guys have mustaches. Which is cheating. but it's the thought that counts.
For hair types that may lay a bit flatter than the above. This haircut is one of those cuts that has about a million names. You're better off just finding a picture of it.
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Keanu Reeves has also had quite a few flat-ish hairstyles as well
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This next one I don't see very often, but I think the low-ponytail is also a good masc look without having to cut your hair. And it's easy to combine with other hairstyles. May be worth testing out even if you get a different haircut.
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Last one, my favorite one, the one I'm sure was expected of me. The perfect combination of long and short hair. Everybody hop aboard the mullet train.
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Now you might be wondering. Why I have included a picture of Lisa Lisa. Well that is because I think her hair is extremely cool regardless of how feminine she wears it.
But also I am going to include some pictures of famous short haired women if you want to show your mom
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And I also want to include the butches from this tumblr post
Because theyre a good example of mullets, low ponytails, and wearing hats.
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Anyway I hope that helps
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blueberry-pride · 1 year
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hi, can i ask for a part two for this with Floyd,Azul,Riddle,Malleus and Ruggie please?
If u accept request rn?
Don't Deny It Babe~ Part 2
warnings: semi-proof read Berry: I didn't think that the previous post would gain a 2nd part so thank you for the chance! as always, enjoy! <3
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"W-wait, are you sure?" Riddle would have a brief mental pause. He'd then have that cute pouty expression when he's embarrassed thus furthering your point. *cue his blush*
Riddle would be a bashful and stuttering mess especially if he's present or within earshot of you talking about his 'cute' qualities to others. He has a reputation of being the strict dorm leader after all!
There would be times that you'd find this young gent to be quiet and a lil timid as you continue to ramble on cuz slowly overtime he'd like this approachable view that you see in him.
Eventually, He'd slowly accept your image of him but I'd imagine you would catch him puffing up his chest as he tries to make himself more refined in the mirror. (Why do I lowkey see him getting "manly" advice from Trey and Cater?) Antics aside, he'd get all warm and fuzzy thinking about your comments, putting a very soft smile to his face whenever he thinks about it <3
If there's anyone who doubts your views, He'd simply watch you debate or argue from afar cuz he enjoys seeing you be so passionate even if the topic is about him. If the others laugh or starts making fun of either you or him tho ...just remember, he IS watching *looks to Ace*
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"Uh...what?" Ruggie's ears flattened at the comment. "You think I'm CUTE?" he spoke with wide eyes. I feel like this wouldn't be the first time this hyena was called that compliment. Most likely his grandma. Meemaw Bucchi: *pinches his cheeks* awww you look so cute all dressed up in that uniform!
He'd be the type to ask you the why's, when's, and how's or just whatever type of reasoning you've had to decided out of all descriptions, you chose 'cute' for a guy like him. I see him also being the type to check himself out in front of mirror but in a very confused state.
He'd at first don't want ANY of the Savanaclaw guys hear about this. (he might as well be chopped meat if Leona ever got a word of this) So the moment he'd sense that you're about to go in one your tangents about him, he'd start messing with ya like tickling or hell even spinning you around just to whisk the two of you away from curious eyes and ears.
But I supposed overtime, this hyena beastman would be curious enough to try and use his this 'cute' side to soften people up for opportunities. (Outside of campus most likely) Of course he'd first test it out on you and often times you'd let him cuz after all, who couldn't say no to such a face?
But here's the thing, you're definitely not safe from HIM calling you cute and all~ Imagine he'd playfully steal your pen or something after class and as you try to grab for it he'd give a fleeting peck on the cheek. "Oh would you look at that." He chuckled. "Guess we're both the cute ones now eh (Y/N)~?" goodluck
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"eh...HEH?" He stammered. He tries a little too hard to regain his composure afterwards but you'd know that your comments shot through to his classy exterior. Now you're left with a blushing and babbling octo-man.
Similar to Ruggie, our boi also has a lot of questions but the key difference is that he deals with them...internally. You, along with the rest of Octavinelle and even Jamil would notice his scrunched up face at random points throughout the day. A million and one questions running through his mind on why you'd think of him like that.
It was already too late for him because he already overheard you talking about this with the leech twins. He might as well evaporate at that point. You know the gif of the dog smiling while the room is on fire and saying 'This is fine'? That's our boi Azul right there
It takes a while for him to open up to the idea. He takes baby steps by also teasing you and showing you his perceived 'cute' side to you in private just to entertain you and see his precious pearl smile.
Overtime, he'd enjoy it and thinks it's also the best thing ever to rub it in people's face as you talk their ear off especially Jamil. "My precious pearl that is (Y/N) lovingly proclaims that I am the cute one, so that is now law."
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"Hmm...You mean" Floyd tilt his head to the side. "Koebi-chan thinks I'm...cute?" He mostly says this out loud to confirm it to himself. After a few seconds he smiles gleefully towards you. Get ready for a wild ride (Y/N)!
Every time he thinks about it or you'd say it again. He'd chuckle and spin you around like as if there weren't any other people around. THAT'S how happy he is. His classmates and the rest of his dorm would find it a lil terrifying seeing this man just humming, kicking his feet in glee during class or in the lounge repeating the words "They think I'm cute~ my Koebi-chan thinks I'm cute~"
I could see him sometimes using this as an excuse to skip his shift at the lounge. Poor Azul cutting his lifespan in half every time he heard Floyd utter the words "Because Koebi-chan said so, wouldn't want to ruin a cute face like mine from all the stress. Maybe you should try it sometime Azul~"
You guys probably already see this one coming but he would be the scary shadow looming over you as you explain your side that your boyfriend is in indeed the cute one out of the two of y'all. 'You dare say otherwise to my (Y/N)?'
Threats aside, I know that Floyd genuinely does love it when you call him cute. I also know that he's clever enough that people would find him scary due to his height and his personality so he lowkey gets all soft when it comes to you, acting all bashfully as he hugs with all the adoration he has for you <3
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"Could you please repeat what you've just told me?" He'd ask. "You find me...cute, Child of Man?" Genuinely surprised and has the shooketh or cute dumb-founded expression we all know and love.
This dark Fae overall finds it amusing, chuckles to himself from thinking about it from time to time. The memory of you semi-debating to him, that he, one of the most strongest and formiddable mages in Twisted Wonderland, is adorable.
Diasomnia or just the entirety of NRC is often concerned and question about your state of mind but then you'd shoo them off or rather, they 'unexpectedly have a change of heart and mind' and totally not from the dark aura with horns behind you.
He likes watching you debate about it especially if its his family in Diasomnia (looking at you Sebek) He thinks that when you're like this, he finds it sweet and endearing to defend your case about your judgement of him.
As the mischievous Fae that he often is, I see him doing small tests for you, showing off terrifying magical shi like shaking the ground beneath you, skies littered with thunder and lightning or hell surrounding you in a circle of green flames all to see if you still call him cute afterwards. (GG Night Raven College )
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harrysfolklore · 7 months
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can you wrote about harry posting the mirror selfie with the 1d shirt on his story?
i had this in my drafts, it’s short but cute <33
MASTERLIST | MY PATREON
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Harry is a very private person and that's no secret to anyone.
However, he likes to share personal moments with his friends and family from time to time, and the way he does that is with his infamous alternative private instagram account that only a few people have access to.
Sometimes he forgets to switch accounts when he wants to post something and he ends up posting to his millions of fans and followers, the first time it happened he posted a picture of a shirt that said "Why? Because I'm the mom! That's why", and the other times were a picture of his tv, one of his girlfriend posing for the camera and one of them together.
He claims to get better at social media the more he uses it but the truth is that he still has little incidents like that.
"Where you going?" YN asked from the couch of their suit in Sydney, immersed on the latest episode of The Last Of Us, the tv show she was obssesed with at the moment.
"I want to hit the gym before we have to leave for the show, wanna join?" Harry asked as he collected his things and put them in his duffel bag.
"You know I don't," YN shrugged and Harry rolled his eyes with affection, it's like his girlfriend was allergic to physical activities, "Wait a minute, turn around." she spoke again and Harry turned on his hills immediately
"What, is something wrong?"
"Oh my god! What is that outfit?" YN couldn't help but laugh when she got a good glimpse of him, he was wearing a One Direction shirt from 2012 as his outfit to the gym.
"Do you like it? I think it's pretty dashing". Harry put his hands on his hips as if he was posing and you couldn't help but laugh again.
"It's amazing, truly flattering." Harry giggled as she spoke and placed a kiss to her cheek before leaving for the gym.
After an hour and a half of excising and snapping a few mirror selfies with his new favorite shirt that he was man enough to admit he did, Harry headed back to the hotel suit, finding his girlfriend getting ready to leave for the stadium, they headed to the back of the hotel and got in the SUV that was waiting for them to take them there.
"Fuck! I can't believe I did this again! Shit!" Harry said after a couple of minutes of comfortable silence, alarming YN and making her turn to look at him.  
"What do you mean? What did you do?" YN matched his tone, trying to get a glimpse at the phone in his hand.
"I posted a story to my main Instagram account, shit!" 
YN couldn't help but laugh at his boyfriend, it wasn't the first time it happened and surely it wouldn't be the last.
"What did you even post?" YN tried to get a glimpse of his phone again, noticing that he already deleted the story.
And when he tuned his phone to show her the picture, she couldn't help but let out a squal.
"No way! You shouldn't have deleted it."
"It's going to be in internet forever now."
taglist: @lightsoutstyles @willowpains @straightontilmornin @sleutherclaw @gimsaysay @hazzassmirk @platinumbarbie143 @musicforcinemas @celesteblack08 @scntfrhs @eleanordaisy @lomlolivia @iceebabies @iloveshawn @be-with-me-so-happily @watermelonsugacry @rayisthehoe @drewrry
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outlanderskin · 16 days
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Lauren Lyle doesn't have crazy shippers trashing her and her boyfriend, hiring private investigators to prove she and he aren't actually together or creating fiction about her and her co-star Cesar. Plus, not every celebrity is into promoting and sharing their private lives on line with million of strangers. And in spite of all the garbage shippers thrown Cait's way for 10 years, she's managed to be with Tony, who she married and had a child with. By the end of 2024 OL will be just a memory. She will finally leave it behind and rarely see Sam who will continue on the same path making B movies and shilling his booze to whatever is left of OL mommies.
First of all: we are coming from an Easter holiday, I don't know if you celebrate it in a religious sense, but we usually leave these holidays lighter and happier, so why so much bitterness? Second: why are you hurting yourself by reading shippers' blogs, where you will find opinions contrary to yours, which will make you angry and cause you suffering? Now to answer: no one can take away from Lauren and Cesar the merit of having been light and open from the beginning. And this has always been easy for them because they have nothing to hide. Nobody ships them, because from the beginning the friendship between them is something that can be seen, in fact. From the beginning they post photos together with their respective partners, from the beginning they don't create mysteries when they meet. Everything we see from the two (and from anyone who has social media) is what they want to show us and Cesar and Lauren have shown us all these years how spontaneous they are. They just act like normal friends who have nothing to hide. About Stalkers you forgot to mention the fans who travel (and even move) to Glasgow to try to meet and get a glimpse of C's home life (unsuccessfully). He also forgot to mention the fan who went to an awards show and screamed T's name as if he were a celebrity, making him practically run away from the venue in mortification. Well, these people are not shippers, you don't have to complain about them here on my blog. And about celebrities and social media: anyone who really doesn't want people/fans to know anything about their life acts like Tobias Menzies. You don't know what his garden looks like, his dishes, his sheets, the walls of his house, his relatives, where he was possibly last week, not even the last female friendship he made, simply because he doesn't post anything of this and doesn't even talk about it in interviews. Posting about personal life and then complaining about privacy is contradictory to say the least. And lastly: based on your bitterness and the fact that you try to read things that hurt you: have you ever thought about going to therapy? I know you'll take this as an insult, but I'm serious. Sometimes destructive behaviors are in small nuances of our lives and we don't realize it.
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mylonelylittlestar · 3 months
Text
XAVIER: THE SUN
Xavier is the sun, but not in the way people think. People hear "sunshine character" and think of clear skies during spring. Of flowers and beaches and singing birds. But that's not Xavier. Xavier is the sun in a different way.
(This is all based on my own knowledge/memory of stars, and it's probably not perfectly accurate because I tend to forget things quickly. I'm also oversimplifying and heavily romanticizing this. This is not an academic paper. It's a silly little post about Love and Deepspace!)
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The sun is an average size star compared to other stars in the universe. There are billions of smaller stars and billions of larger stars. Compared to stars like Rigel and Betelgeuse, the sun is just a speck of dust in space, and stars like Teegarden's Star and other red dwarfs are grains of sand compared to the sun. It's not particularly special in size.
It's classified as a yellow dwarf star. Yellow dwarf stars don't "go supernova". They don't turn into black holes or neutron stars. They are simply too small.
They burn out of their hydrogen supply over millions of years, collapse, then expand, turning into "red giants". They stay that way until they become unstable, shedding their outer layers in form of large clouds made up of dust and gas (called planetary nebula).
What is left afterwards is the core, a white dwarf. White dwarfs are very dense and do not produce heat. Instead they spend millions of years slowly cooling down. When they completely cool down they turn into black dwarfs, but we will never see one because the universe isn't old enough for a white dwarf to completely cool down and actually turn into one.
It's not special. Even its death will be slow and anticlimactic. It won't collapse into a supermassive black hole after a giant supernova. It will just fade away slowly and quietly after its life as a red giant is over.
What makes the sun special is not itself, but its perfect proximity to earth. The sun makes life here possible because its mass and distance to our home planet gave us a chance to exist and observe it. Nothing else. It is perfectly average in its size, luminosity, and mass.
The sun is also lonely. More than half of the stars that we have observed share a solar system with at least one other star. They orbit each other as they travel through the universe. We can also observe triple star systems (the nearest star to the sun, Proxima Centauri, is part of a triple star system as far as I remember), quadruple systems, and possibly even septuple star systems (Nu Scorpii and AR Cassiopeiae). I've even seen things about possible octuple and even nontuple star systems.
But the sun is alone. It has a lot of planets surrounding it, but no other stars accompany it. There's a chance that it has siblings though, stars that formed in the same nebulae/gas cloud, but we have trouble finding them because we don't even truly know in what nebulae the sun was "born" in.
We have theories, but it's hard to do anything except guess because our sun is quite old and therefore far away from its birthplace (which has probably stopped existing by now). We're looking for stars with similar compositions and ages as our sun, and we look at their orbits and compare them to the orbit of our sun to see if they could be related, all in hopes of finding out more about our star through them, but the search takes a lot of time. We might never find its siblings. Maybe they're just too far away. Or there are no siblings. Maybe the nebulae only gave birth to one star, our sun, and no others.
Maybe our sun was always destined to be alone, from the very beginning of its life to its end. And maybe Xavier is destined to be alone too.
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buf309 · 6 months
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Pose Reference Resources
I promised Dia (aka aerequets) that I will make a collection of pose references in the reply of one of her art posts, and then I completely forgot about it. Until now. I'm sorry for my bad memory.
So, yeah, better late than never I guess?
The pose collection I use the most is no longer free. They used to let you download a whole album (more than 8GB worth of data) to use offline, but now you have to pay $40/package or $200 for full sets. I still have the zip file for a very old version of theirs, but I can't legally share it. So, let's skip to the other options.
1/ First, you heard of those 3D dolls program that let you model your own reference pose? This one is an online one and for free, the whole ordeal. Of course since it's online and free, you can't save your model for next time, and it costs quite a lot of time to set the model up. So, you should take as much screenshots in as many tricky angles as you need once you done with the setting. Best using for complicated scenes where those below don't have what you need already available.
2/ This one is free and in 3D, you can rotate the model to any angle that you need. The only set back is the numbers of poses are quite limited. This one is best for using as a basic blocks then build up what you want to draw, or just as a practice to improve your understanding of human anatomy.
3/ This one is free for personal uses and the pose collection is massive. The setbacks are the language barrier (it's in Japanese, English is sometimes tag-a-long) and you have to search through their pages for what you need. The pics for each pose is static but they are in different angle in almost 360 degrees. There are many 2-person and 3-person poses too. Great for illustration inspiration.
4/ This one will only show reference photos of human head, at whatever angle you rotate the model. The web interface is easy to use. There are options like searching based on gender, ages, emotions, glasses, facial hair or not, etc. Good for practicing face drawing.
5/ This one will show reference photos for human body parts, at whatever angle you rotate the model, read the instructions for how to do it. The web interface is quite hard to use at first, just tinkering around for a bit, and you will be fine. There are options like searching based on gender and which particular parts that you need refs for. Good for that moment when you go "huh? how is this <body part> will look in this <situation>????"
6/ This one will only show reference photos of animal heads, and only the head, at whatever angle you rotate the model. The accurate skull refencence list is their best point. There are enough common species in the drop down list. Tbh, I don't use this much because I often need refs for the whole animal most of the time. But it's best for furry artists, I guess?
7/ Real model photos. They sell pose reference in themed packs, but there are enough free packs to use as drawing practice too.
8/ This is the best for general background reference. Lots of options. Not really good for very specific location results, but good for random background in drawings.
9/ Lastly, for specific objects or background references at strange angles, I often search for 3D models on this site then take screenshots of whatever I need.
That's all, folks. Hope this list can help ease some of the struggles that we will encounter on our quest of learning the art of drawing things 😂
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berlynn-wohl · 3 months
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okay so I was watching a video about videos and decided to write about writing (specifically, fanfic)
Typically I don't share my thoughts on fandom as a subculture and how it's changed because I don't have the stomach for the kind of things that can happen when one posts their opinions on social media. But I'm gonna give it a go today because I watched this:
You don't have to watch it, I'll tell you the thing that got me: it was about how on YouTube, people are likely to be fans of specific channels, and if you subscribe to one, you could probably, if asked, discuss what you like about that channel/creator with others. But the way TikTok's feed works (turning you into a passive consumer of an endless stream of short videos), it's more difficult to differentiate who the creators are, even when you subscribe to them. You're more likely to just say, "I'm a fan of TikTok" (...or "I'm addicted to TikTok"). This is evidenced by the fact that at a recent VidCon, TikTokers who had millions of views and hundreds of thousands of subscribers faced empty lines at the meet-and-greets, because their content was just part of a blur of content their subscribers passively put their eyeballs on every day.
And I had a thought: Has AO3 done this for fanfic? Of course AO3's content cannot be passively consumed; you have to enter search terms and use filters to find what you're looking for. But once you have entered such a search, you could well be faced with thousands of results, which you begin consuming by opening tab after tab after tab. If you were not in fandom before 2012, I cannot stress how ludicrous this amount of fanfiction is. Before AO3, unless you were in a MASSIVE fandom (like HP or LOTR), you eagerly awaited the arrival of new fics because there just weren't that many -- and even if you were in a massive fandom, if you shipped one of the less popular pairings (or preferred Gen), you still could not necessarily count on even one new fic a day that was to your tastes.
And in those days when fics were fewer and farther between, and when fandoms were more siloed, you got to know fanfic authors. You recognized their styles. When someone posted a new fic, you were excited because you knew what you could expect based on what you already enjoyed about that author's talents and inclinations. In a small fandom I was in long ago, where only about ten people wrote fic, we once sat around and brainstormed which popular music act's vibe corresponded with which each author's style! (I was The Clash.)
Compare that to now, where many readers in fandom have the opportunity to just click-read-click-read-click-read, not just as a reward at the end of a long day, but on the bus or anywhere. I don't think it's a coincidence that fics get fewer comments than they used to, and there's far less discussion of individual authors. There's no incentive to linger on something even if you enjoyed it, when the next fic is waiting in another tab.
Now perhaps it's better that the structure of fanfic culture has changed such that we have less potential for BNF drama. But it also means that whenever I see newcomers to a fandom asking for recs, most of the responses are "Have you read [the fic with the most kudos and comments on AO3]?" It's not just that this response is a bit superfluous, as the newcomer has probably already sorted the AO3 results by kudos/comments -- to me it also indicates that folks get so much fanfic from The Fanfic Website and so little community from The De Facto Fandom Platforms that it becomes difficult to remember individual fics, what you enjoyed about them, or how an individual author's style might make them a better match for a certain reader. (Yes, I am aware that AO3 has histories/bookmarks for people to refer back to, but when one accumulates 1000 bookmarks and then someone asks for a rec, most likely the bookmark holder is only going to remember, off the top of their head, That One Crazy Outlier Fic That The Entire Fandom Lost Their Shit About Seven Years Ago.)
I dunno, this is all I got in the way of thoughts. I'm not saying I want to go back to the way things were 10 or 20 years ago, but I sure do wish I could a-la-carte it a little, you know?
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