#and if i do its all carbs or egg

[tokio-motel]

IM ALIVE

and i love you too baeeee and dw idc when you finish this😘

whole band headcannons seperate ofc with there bf(or gn reader if you cant include much but if you can include a little thats chill idc) who is so fucking stupid

like karen from mean girls stupid. for example if someone asked him if he was top or bottom he'd be like "oh bottom! top bunks make me nervous." like💀💀

and another example is if he cooked something and it's hot he'd only say careful its hot AFTER you choke on how hot it is😭

i feel like they'd love him so much but sometimes he's just real fucking dumb💀💀💀

also you don't have to use the first two those are just examples ofccc i love youuuuu

TOKIO HOTEL X DUMB MALE READER

hi bb! ilym 😋🙏 i hope this is good enough cuz recently my work has been iffy...........

---

BILL:

・He finds this shit funny bro

・Can't help but smile whenever you say some dumb shit.

・He feels like he's dreaming if you tell him late at night

"Bill?"

".....what?"

"... Why do we need farmers if we have grocery stores?"

・If you say that shit at 2AM he'd spend the rest of the night thinking about it.

・He gets headaches from how hard he thinks about it

"M/N..how do you even conjure up this type of stuff.."

・He can't tell if your genuinely confused or just fucking with him.

・He doesn't care though, he loves you and your stupidity.

・Actually finds himself asking you more and more questions just to see how far your imagination goes.

TOM:

・this cunt will laugh at you

・Let's out a few chuckles when you said something dumb for the first time

・He then realised you weren't joking and were actually serious 💀

"Why doesn't earth just..fall? Why are we floating?"

"..."

"..."

"M/N..- what the fuck is wrong with you."

・Sometimes he just agrees with whatever your saying and encourages you to go on, seeing how long he can go without chuckling

・He's not judging you- he actually really loves this about you.

・He will NEVER admit it but his heart melts whenever you say the dumbest shit.

・He tries not to correct you for the sake of your ego 🤷🏻🤷🏻

GEORG:

・He's like a dad with a dumb kid in this situation 💀

"Georg- does carbonated water have carbs?"

"Not exactly, M/N. The reason for this is....."

・He'd explain everything to you bro 😪

・Very unlike Tom.

・I feel like he's fine with whatever you say but like physical things get to him

・Like for example if you just mopped the floor and he comes in, stepping into the room as he nearly slips and grabs onto whatever piece of furniture will secure him.

"Oh by the way, Georg, the floor is wet. So be careful going in the room!"

"...Thanks."

・He can't help but chuckle to himself

・He nearly sprained his ankle but he didn't really care- he finds it cute how oblivious you are.

・You make him happy and thats all that matters to him.

GUSTAV:

・His brain stops processing for a minute.

・Stares at you for a minute as he thinks of something to say back.

"I'm so confused... Is an egg a fruit or vegetable?"

".. Good question. Why don't you look it up?"

・Like Tom he cant help but let out small guffaws and chuckles

・He has a few small burns on his fingertips from cooking with you.

"Oh Gustav can you check the pan?"

"Yeah sure, M/N...OH FUCK! -"

"Watch out, the stoves on!"

・At the end of the day he doesn't really care

・He love you way to much, like it's actually concerning how much he loves you.

#sorry if it's bad omg #tokio hotel x reader #tokio hotel x male reader #tokio hotel x you #tom kaulitz #tom kaulitz x male reader #tom kaulitz x reader #bill kaulitz #bill kaulitz x male reader #bill kaulitz x reader #bill kaulitz x you #tom kaulitz x y/n #tom kaulitz x you #bill kaulitz x non binary reader #georg listing x male reader #georg listing #georg listing x non binary reader #georg listing x reader #gustav schäfer x male reader #gustav schäfer x non binary reader #gustav schäfer x reader #gustav schäfer #gustav schafer x reader

[ovaruling]

@thebloodiestmary its idea is that fat should make up the largest percentage of your dietary intake, with as few carbs as possible. carbs are demonized to an extreme that has made them synonymous with “weight gain” and they’re treated like toxins or contaminants. there is an obsession to have as close to zero carbs as possible in your daily intake, although the general starting point tends to be “under 100g” as the novice and then graduates to “under 50g” as the intermediate.

most of the diet is, of course, animal products. high fat, slightly less high protein (excess protein is converted to glucose and thus evil), and minimal carbohydrates.

fiber, however, cancels out “bad” carbohydrates in this theory. if a food has 10g carbs, but 4g of those are fiber, then in the keto world that food contains 6g of “net carbs.” it is a crazy-making algebraic way of calculating your intake. and even though fiber is a focus, it is de-prioritized completely in this diet which is so full of animal protein and animal fat that i am not surprised to see many keto fanatics come out with bowel cancers or leaky gut or heart disease or high liver enzymes/fatty liver disease or gallbladder disease/gallstones.

the idea is no sugar, no carbs. as little glucose activity as possible.

people tend to lose weight on it usually because they are actually eating fewer calories than they usually would, but not realizing it. keto usually counts by macros, not by calories. in fact, it often discourages calorie tracking. this sounds promising, but it also means most people who lose so much weight with it don’t tend to realize that it’s because they’re in a large caloric deficit. it’s a scam! if you tracked your calories you’d probably realize you were in a deficit all along, and that THAT’S why you’re losing weight, not bc of some magical keto spell.

only eating meat and dairy and eggs will do that. meat and dairy and eggs are PRIMARY weight loss foods and always have been. keto fanatics feel smug because they’re eating bacon and steak and fried eggs and full-fat cheese, but they don’t realize how few calories they’re taking in by eliminating all other foods.

keto has a bad reputation for making its dieters paranoid about fruit, beans, whole grains, and even vegetables.

hardcore keto dieters barely get any of those in their diet. but they lose weight, so it must be healthy!

their boasting of “lower cholesterol” and “lower blood sugar” is almost certainly bc they are losing weight IN A CALORIC DEFICIT.

it is not possible to lose weight if you are not in a caloric deficit.

there is the famous “keto flu” onboarding stage where you feel sick and tired for about a week or sometimes more as you “wean” off of carbs. that is your body starving for nutrients lol. it’s starving. you feel sick and exhausted bc you have almost nothing going in.

and i can say this with confidence bc i fell for this diet hardcore when i was 20. i lost tons of weight eating “fatty” foods. what was actually happening was rabbit starvation—i was getting so much protein and so few other nutrients that i was actually starving myself.

it’s a poisonous diet, nothing more than a weight loss fad, wholly unsustainable, and wildly expensive btw.

any “benefit” that anyone claims comes from it is usually simply from the process of weight loss in a deficit if one’s original health problems (usually heart or diabetes related) were due to being overweight.

and yeah again i won’t even bother to get into what happens to one’s colon and bowels in general eating that many animal products and hormones and that much fat with little to no fiber. with all its parading of red meat and bacon and sausage and other cured meats, it’s a recipe for colon cancer, that’s all i’ll say.

it’s done so much damage to our understanding of food and balanced nutrition and it’s sneaky and dishonest in its ~famed results. it’s a fancy way of getting yourself into a caloric deficit, that’s all.

if all you ate in one day was a McDonald’s value meal at 1200 calories or whatever, you’d lose weight. you’d be in a deficit. keto makes you think it will be possible to consume 5000 calories of fatty fried foods and lose weight—but that literally is not what happens. you usually remain in a deficit because you’re starving trying to keep your carbs as low as possible. and you don’t notice it bc you’re not keeping track of calories, only grams of carbohydrates vs grams of fat.

so many topics exist on keto forums like “why am i not losing weight with keto?!” and answers will urge the user to eat less lmfao. or go on a “fat fast” to “get your body to prioritize burning fat as its primary source of energy” which is eating mostly like 90% fat as your intake majority with 0g of carbs. aka starvation.

you cannot train your body to “prioritize” fat as its primary source of energy. it will ALWAYS prefer carbohydrates as the most efficient and easily digestible source of fuel. the only way you can sustain “ketosis” (which is a dangerous medical condition btw) is by never feeding yourself enough carbs so that your body literally thinks it’s starving—BECAUSE IT IS!!!! you’re “burning fat” bc you are STARVING!!!!

and yeah. just. terrible for your gallbladder, your liver, your digestion, your heart, your inflammatory system, everything. horrific diet.

tl;dr—snake oil, low energy starvation recipe for bowel cancer!

[avissapiens]

Jockbull Summer Week 6 Set B (18/12/23-24/12/23)

Model used Onome egger(yes this is reused, didn't have time to make a new one)

1

So this is the first time I fucked up the fast. I still did manage to keep a net caloric intake of about 700cal because of cardio. But I was so out of it in the morning that i forgot to remove the egg yolks in my eggs. And egg yolks are so full of carbs and delicious delicious fats.

It didn’t ruin the day by any means, and arguably made the morning much more bearable. But it was an extra like 200 calories that I could have docked.

2.

Only one meditation this week and it was very standard. Just trying to sort out my brain and prioritize things so i don’t feel so overwhelmed. Coalesce and relax and remind myself that not everything is actually important. Things can go undone if they don’t need to be. Set things in order so that you can deal with the few important things and everything else can go on auto mode.

3.

Always doing this ngl. I wake up from my pre-gym nap and i stroke a bit before getting ready. But also i did break the edging streak…several times..with a cute himbo slut tho so it’s alright. Was so pent up. Bred him and *literally* tore him open with this fat fucking bull cock. Disturbed all his neighbours for hours. But i Can't wait to build back that energy.

4.

Okay I am working on an ACTUAL creative work right now in the form of an avis abstraction. But I am gonna cheat and declare this as one too.

I have a 600 song music playlist that i’ve been building and curating since I was about 13. My music tastes are very incongruent and eclectic and i love them.

So what I’ve done is I went through the songs and picked out a few for each archetype and put them into little vibe playlists that i thought evoked their essences. Enjoy them! (Alpha/Bro/Bull/Jock/Himbo/Pup/AVIS)

5.

I didn’t write up Last week’s Set C. For that I apologize. If I did I would have told you all how the routine feels set now. I’ve got a whole bunch of skincare stuff. Supplements. A process. And its really helping me I feel. It doesn’t feel monotonous. I feel like its placing me into a good starting position for the day to feel good about myself. 

#jockbull summer #JBS #Jock #Bull

[theoutcastrogue]

"Salad" is a technology which allows humans to munch on greenery, like sheep and goats do, without feeling like they’re munching on greenery like sheep and goats. It’s a disguise tool, a sleight of hand, a bit of stage magic, anything it takes to fool your brain that this is food fit for humans, and not goats.

There are many techniques to achieve that. You can mix different kinds of greenery together, combining tastes and textures. You can add greenery just for flavour (generally not edible on its own), like dill, parsley, spearmint. You can add plants that aren’t greenery, like walnuts, pine nuts, mushrooms, beans, pomegranate seeds, olives. You can, and if I may be so bold should, drench it in olive oil, vinegar, lemon, or condiments and complicated sauces. You can add dairy, like cheese or yoghurt-based dips. You can add seasoning, like oregano, thyme, sumak, paprika, all sorts of things. You can add bread and pita and the like, or other carbs, like pasta or couscous. You can add eggs, or you can add meat. And you must add salt (it’s in the name!). Whatever works.

You can also choose ingredients like an artist, based on colour (red is very popular, keeps your mind away from all the green) and colour combinations, use plates and utensils that look nice, be fussy about how thin or thick you’ll slice all the greenery, bother with presentation and decoration: your brain, mercifully, can be fooled by all these things. Every little bit helps, and if you’re making a salad you’ll do whatever it takes to distract your brain from the fact that, at the end of the day, you’re munching on greenery like a goddamn goat.

#intermission #cooking #trs #sleight of hand

[sygol]

a big aspect of antisocial personality disorders (cluster B, and schizotypal/schizoid) that doesnt get talked about much is the prevelance of sleep disregulation and how it significantly exasperates many of the negative symptoms, more people with these pds would greatly benifit from sleeping pills/supplements and or dietary adjustment, improving sleep behavior

i have written some in-depth information about these things below the cut:

dietary adjustment such as increasing sources of

magnesium — nuts, seeds, avacado, black beans, leafy greens

tryptophan — lean proteins, such as chicken, turkey, fish, cheese

serotonin — complex carbs like whole grain pasta, bread, cereal, oats. unsaturated fats: peanut butter, nuts

melatonin — this one is more specific: tart cherry juice, goji berries, eggs, milk, salmon/tuna

supplement info

melatonin - many bottles contain 5 even 10 mg of melatonin per serving, you should not dose more than 1mg of melatonin as this will actually be detrimental to your sleep, break those pills into pieces, its better to get less than 1mg than more

magnesium - do not get "magnesium oxide", this one can be good for your gut health but will not improve your sleep, most all others that are commonly sold can help and magnesium complexes that include multiple kinds are the best

may help: theanine (400mg+) before bed, apigenin (chamomile), ashwagandha, mugwort, blue lotus, etc also omega3 fatty acids

sleep health

an hour or two before bed: eliminate lights, especially artificial lighting, and especially overhead or directly in front of your face (screens). even if the light is "orange" rather than "blue", most LED lights and screens still contain blue light that is imperceptible to the eye but to the body sees like sun light, some devices are better about reducing this youll have to do your own research but assume that most devices and lights have no incentive or knowledge that the ultra violet registers heavily mediates the regulation of melatonin and circadian rhythm, also this isnt just about light getting into your eyes, your skin can detect light too and this is part of the system, if you must be using screens late at night your orange light screen filter still probably helps but not very well, even better turn the brightness of these screens down as low as you can, i also like to use a greyscale filter, and using candle light can actually be much better than electric lights when going to bed. theres a lot more about sleep i could say but this light regulation is one of the biggest issues the modern era faces wrt sleep health, do your own research too

#t2

[soap-lady]

Here you go

@fantasiame, @g-arya, @lavenderjunes, @charlietheepic7, @ahenix, @delectablycoolscientist, @kaseykay17, @vio-march-0327, @mewwitch, @vixen-uchiha, @coolspidermanmusicflower, @lady-bee-fechin, @raeuberprinzessin, @symwinter, @frieddonutsweets, @seraphkitty, @friendsofthefairies, @nickristus-dreamer, @khneltea, @jumpingjoy82, @fan-written,  @woe-is-me0,@corporeal-terrestrial, @queenmjean, @theymakeupfairies, @dorkus-minimus, @idk-j-go-with-it, @aespades, @swiftie-miraculer13

Worthy Opponent Chapter 24

Felicity looked over at Barry’s plate, doing nothing to hide her disgust. “I can’t believe you’re going to eat such disgusting garbage. How can you even move after that? British cuisine was clearly based on a dare.”

“Nonsense, my dear Flick,” he responded as he sliced up his black pudding while looking her straight in the eye, “a brain such as mine needs fuel for the long haul, not some carbohydrate nightmare that wouldn’t leave a bird alive. And you have no right to criticize my country’s food when you’ve been known to eat snails. ” He smirked at her “continental breakfast” and she scowled at him.

“Jokes on you, Barrington. The average bird can eat twice its own weight.” She looked at Elinor for support but she was too busy feeding bits of baguette covered in Nutella to Seabert. She muttered under her breath, “If Jayden were here he’d back me up.”

“Nah, Jayden is still carrying on a torrid love affair with his laptop,” Jack plunked down his plate beside Felicity’s and across from Barry. “They’ll make beautiful apps together.”

Felicity paused her argument with Holmes to look at Watson’s plate. What she saw shocked her. “Jack, darling…what the hell is that?”

“This?” Jack pointed proudly at the jumble of eggs, bacon, potatoes and cheese on his plate. “In America, we call this a ‘breakfast skillet’. It has all the protein and carbs I need. Plus cheese.”

“So…Americans disguise their horrible food with cheese?” Felicity asked. She could almost imagine poor Jack’s arteries hardening. She made a mental note to offer a cup of fruit and perhaps some Scottish oats the next day.

Barry just shook his head. His poor Watson, forced to eat something so revolting for eight years. He’d teach his partner about good hearty English food once he had the chance.

What they were thinking must have shown on their face because Jack glared at both of them. “Hey. Eat my ass.”

“Buy me dinner first!” Felicity retorted before Barry could open his mouth.

Anything Watson might have said in reply was interrupted by the intercom system.

The Headmaster’s voice was heard. Holmes noted he sounded tired and stressed. His words were clipped and his delivery was wooden. “Attention, faculty and students. At this time I would like for all of you to make your way to the assembly hall. No dawdling. Anyone caught skiving off will be disciplined, no exceptions. That is all.”

The speaker cut off and the trio stared at each other then around the room. All of the other students were dutifully putting down their utensils and making their way to the assembly hall. Felicity all but dragged Jack to his feet and hauled him away towards the exit. All Barry could do was follow silently as he contemplated the changes in their group dynamic.

He decided he didn’t like it.

                                               *****

The Headmaster stood on stage and waited until all the Hearts, Clubs, Diamonds and Spades grouped themselves according to their class (Spades near the front, naturally) and took their seats. They whispered among themselves until he approached the podium and gently tapped the microphone.

Everyone quieted down and once there was silence he spoke.

“It seems as if both a year and a mere moment has passed since I last stood here and told you all of the sad death of our beloved Professor Akunin.”

He allowed everyone to murmur “Rest In Peace” or something similar before continuing.

“And as you may remember, in a few weeks we were slated to have our annual Founders’ Ball, where we celebrate the coming together of the greatest detectives the world has ever known.”

There was more murmuring a bit of applause. He waited again.

“Thus, it is my sorrowful duty to announce that I am recommending to the Board that the Ball be canceled this year.”

The Headmaster was no doubt expecting applause and polite agreement. He would be disappointed.

There were some relieved sighs and some surprised gasps but most of the crowd seemed displeased.

“That’s not fair!”

“I already bought my dress!”

“The professor would want us to carry on.”

“Oui!”

The students were very quickly turning against the Headmaster and a few professors approached the podium, intent on speaking with him.

Judging by their body language the Headmaster had neglected to discuss his decision with the rest of the staff. Dissent among the professors would spread to the students and then they’d have a riot to quell. Or worse, mass detentions. This wouldn’t do.

Well, Barry was a Spade. More than that, he was a direct descendant of Sherlock Holmes and if their student body had a leader, surely it was him. He opened his mouth to speak up.

Felicity beat him to it. She left her seat and made her way to the stage.

The Headmaster seemed too surprised to chastise her. “Have you something to say on the matter, Miss Dupin?”

She nodded. “Forgive the interruption, but I do. Is it alright if I approach the podium?”

Jack’s eyebrows rose and he looked at Barry. He knew “Filly” had a high class education and probably an etiquette tutor but he’d never heard her sound so formal and posh.  It made him feel a little unpolished and grubby in comparison.

Holmes stared right back then up at Dupin. Felicity looked…he believed the Americans used the term “badass”. Her posture was ladylike and respectful, yet not to be ignored. It was…rather attractive if he were being honest.

The Headmaster  nodded and she walked up to him. She had her hands clasped together, the only sign Barry could find that she was nervous at all. Felicity began to speak into the mic.

“With all due respect to you, sir, and with the greatest respect to Professor Akunin, I, as a Legacy student, refuse to be scared off by some nameless faceless…criminal,” Barry could tell she had wanted to use a stronger word, “I want the ball to be held as scheduled. I’m not about to allow my ancestor to be dishonored either.”

There was a buzz of approval among the students and maybe even a professor or two. Barry couldn’t help a small grin of endorsement. The ball had to go on for their plan to lure out the murderer or murderers to work. He was sure they wouldn’t be able to resist sneaking on campus; the school always hired additional help to prepare for the ball and he and his friends were laying a trap. Jayden would no doubt have his extra surveillance prepared to catch them or just gather evidence. He wasn’t sure how he felt about being bait but neither could he ask one of his friends to do it.

There was some applause and cheers of support before the Headmaster broke in. “I can’t allow my students to expose themselves to danger!” he protested. He looked at Felicity, who was doing her best to look brave and stoic. “Miss Dupin, it would grieve me if anything were to happen to one of our Legacy students such as yourself of course, but I feel the same way about all the students who attend here.” He indicated the entire student body with a sweep of his arm. “All of them are important and precious to me and it is my duty to protect you. How could I look any of your parents in the face and tell them that one of you was harmed?”

The man looked genuinely worried and sad, no doubt thinking about his failure to protect one of his staff. Barry felt a stab of pity for the man, even though his caution, even for the best of reasons, was screwing up their plan. He opened his mouth to speak again, only to be interrupted for the second time in ten minutes.

A young girl with waist-length chestnut hair glided her way up the stage and near the podium. She pointed at the microphone and Felicity looked at her, shrugged, then stepped back. Holmes blinked once or twice, then focused on the new speaker.

Irene Adler.

“I think Felicity has a good point, Headmaster,” the girl smiled at Dupin, who tried not to look shocked at her surprise ally. Adler also smiled at the headmaster. “But you also make a good point about protecting the students and how parents would react. So, what about a vote?”

The room buzzed again as everyone began whispering, asking each other what Irene could possibly mean by a “vote”. Barry felt his esteem for the girl rise slightly.

Irene went on to explain. “Everyone here has a school email address, right? Even if they prefer to use their own personal one.” She turned to the Headmaster, gesturing with her hands as she spoke. “There are all sorts of websites that make polls. You could set up a poll where everyone could vote whether or not they wanted a ball or not. Then you could send a link to everyone’s school email address and everyone could vote anonymously. No hard feelings.”

There were some mutterings of agreement and excitement but Barry could tell not everyone was convinced. He was sure he could do something to rally the undecided and racked his brains for an idea.

“That’s…rather brilliant, Miss Adler,” The Headmaster praised Irene. “Better yet, it’s completely fair. Attendance will not be mandatory for anyone!” He addressed the crowd and there were a few cheers.

“Say, Watson,” Holmes began but the other boy was up on his feet and dashing up to the stage.

Jack grabbed the microphone before anyone could stop him. “Hey, I’m Jack Watson if you haven’t met me yet. How’s it going? Anyway, maybe the school could arrange a field trip to a concert or a theme park for any and all students who don’t want to go to the big ball.” The stage lights were bright but Jack could see a few heads nodding along with his idea. “That way, everyone gets to do some fun sh…stuff,” he amended and there was a louder round of applause for Watson.

The Headmaster looked a bit ruffled that the problem was getting solved without his approval or input but most of the student body seemed to agree with the ideas the teenagers had put forward and he really didn’t want to offend three Legacy students, two of which were children of the founding families. He sighed and gave up.

“Very well. We shall do as you three have suggested.” He addressed the crowd with all the authority of a man trying to pretend they were all his ideas. “We shall continue with the ball if a majority of the students vote for it and anyone who does not can sign up anonymously for a field trip to be determined later.” He accepted the mic back from Watson and placed it back in its stand. “Due to all this excitement and the disruption to the usual schedule, morning classes are canceled. You may all go back to the cafeteria where the staff will be pleased to serve fresh meals to anyone who hasn't had a chance to eat. After that, you may consider the rest of your morning as a free study period. Afternoon classes will continue as scheduled after lunch. Dismissed.”

He and the professors left the stage, no doubt to tell the cafeteria staff they were now pulling double duty. The students milled about as they talked excitedly among themselves and slowly made their way to the cafeteria or their dorms.

Barry sat in his seat and watched Jack and Felicity walking together, hopefully towards him.  He caught Irene staring at them and then back at him. He swore the look on her face was pity. “Well, I suppose no one needs me around, do they?” he muttered to himself. He sighed and pulled himself to his feet. No more sulking for him. He had a plan to put together.

                                               *****

“Cut!” Amelie called out. The crew clapped around her. “All in one take! My darlings, you’re brilliant. Victor, you’re a star!”

“Well I do my best,” Victor bowed and made his way to his dressing room.

“Well done, Lila,” Amelie smiled at her and the girl found herself blushing involuntarily. She loved praise, almost more than she loved attention. Especially sincere praise. Plus, there was something about the way Amelie smiled at her that made her want to do a good job, not just climb the social ladder.

“Thank you so much, Amelie,” Lila smiled and for once since she’d known the girl, it wasn’t artificial and self-serving, but surprised and pleased. “I’m starting to really get inside Irene’s head. She’s so much more complex than I realized.”

Amelie smiled again, feeling ever so slightly guilty for the first time. Lila had done something to Allen the other children refused to discuss fully and thus they’d insisted she keep making Lila’s part smaller. Now she wondered if she should give the young woman another chance. Perhaps if she continued to do well they could find a larger part for her on the next Graham Films production.

Ah, there was nothing more thrilling to Amelie than developing new talent.

Gio came up behind Lila and ran a hand over her shoulder, giving it a squeeze. “Didn’t I tell you?” he whispered, “all you have to do is show everyone what you’re truly capable of. Now everyone can see how talented you are.”

She leaned her head on his shoulder. “I should always listen to you. You give the best advice.”

For a moment she allowed herself to dream of fame and fortune again. Accolades she’d earned honestly. Recognition that didn’t depend on claiming to know celebrities and snagging a trophy boyfriend. Her fame as a model depended on staying in Gabriel Agreste’s good graces and he could take everything back any time he wished. If she’d earned her way with hard work and talent, no one could take that from her. Not unless she well and truly screwed up.  Once she was rich and famous enough she’d hire a financial advisor to help her invest in funds and then she could live off the interest if she were careful.

Amelie clapped her hands to get everyone’s attention and Lila pulled herself out of her daydreams. “Exciting news, everyone! Mrs. Jennings and our own little Marinette have completed the costumes for the ball and are ready for fittings. I’m going to ask the ladies of the principal cast to follow either Mrs. Jennings or Marinette to the Wardrobe Department. Adults with Mrs. Jennings and younger ladies with Marinette. Chloe will be there to take pictures so keep your makeup camera ready.”

“No nudes,” Chloe assured everyone. Yeah, she could be a bitch but not when someone was at their most vulnerable physically. Well, not anymore.

“Boo!” yelled one of the male extras.

“Boo!” chorused one of the female extras.

Amelie gave them both a look of disappointment, somehow picking them both out of the crowd. “Really, this isn’t that kind of production. Dignity and consent at all times.”

She waited until the room was calm again and continued. “Step lively, ladies. Gentlemen, we’ll be dividing into two groups. Group A will shoot a scene with most of the Spades and the Headmaster about their findings on the case so far. Group B will be secondary characters like Marlowe and Charles IV discussing what the ball could mean for the investigation and whether it will draw out the killer or just get everyone in one place to be slaughtered. Off you pop.”

The men and boys grumbled good naturedly but none the less went off to prepare the next scene. Lila was about to follow them when she was stopped by Amelie.

“Aren’t you going to attend your fitting, dear?” the woman asked.

“But I thought I was just…” Lila stopped and Amelie watched as comprehension settled over the girl’s face. “Oh!” She reacted with genuine surprise. She was being included with the main cast? Not some rented gown or something from stores but a dress designed specifically for her?

She danced a little in place before remembering Marinette had designed her gown. Someone who saw through her and hated her. Someone who could do anything she wanted and not have to face the consequences. She had power over her and Lila hated it. It was quite the role reversal than their old college dynamic.

She forced herself to relax and smile at Amelie. “On my way! Thank you!” She turned away and practically raced after the other girls on her way to the Wardrobe Department. Marinette wouldn’t do anything to her. She was a coward and would never risk looking bad to Amelie. She had nothing to worry about.

Amelie chuckled to herself once everyone was out of earshot. Yes, Miss Rossi was worth watching.

                                                  *****

“Marinette! I love it!” Mylene twirled around the room in her ball dress. “I was afraid it would be too formal and hard to dance  in but it’s so flowy and easy to move in. It’s just my style!” She rubbed the material between her fingers. “It feels like silk.”

Marinette smiled and nodded at her friend. “I didn’t think Victorian fashion would suit you but bohemian chic would.” She laughed. “Well, boho chic with hints of haute couture. I was inspired by your braids and went with a rainbow dip-dyed material. Sustainable cotton sateen, which is vegan of course. It’s a great alternative to synthetics. ”

Mylene nearly cried and hugged her friend for her thoughtfulness. “It’s perfect,” she let her go and stepped away. “I should probably take it off before I ruin it.”

“Not quite yet. I want to adjust the hemline. It’s a little too long and I don’t want you to have to wear heels if you don’t want to.”

Mylene looked thoughtfully at her reflection. “I was thinking this dress would look cute in matching low-heeled sandals.”

Marinette blinked and adjusted her thinking. “That could work. Do you mind standing on the platform, please?”

Her friend did as asked and Marinette marked the hemline accordingly and began to pin it up. “Is this too high, do you think?”

Mylene looked at her reflection. “A little. Would a centimeter lower be alright?”

The designer made the adjustment. “Right here?”

“I think so.”

She readjusted her pins and together they looked at Mylene’s reflection. “You know what, Mademoiselle Actress? I think it’s perfect.”

“I think so too.”

Mylene let Marinette help her off the dressmaker’s platform and looked over to where Chloe was quietly taking pictures.

The blonde lowered her camera and looked at them. “I got all the shots I needed. Mylene can change now.”

“Thank you, Chloe,” Marinette had decided she’d be professional as long as Chloe was and so far it was proving to be the right decision. “I can’t wait to see the finished book.”

Mylene straightened her back and surprised everyone by giving her former bully a small but confident smile. “Marinette’s designs are so good. You should probably commission her to make you a dress for the premiere while she’s still available.”

Chloe didn’t say anything at first but managed half a toothless smile. “Maybe.” She pretended not to see the other girls staring at her wide-eyed. “I need a new memory card. I’m going to go grab one real quick before you let Rossi in here.”

                                                        *****

Lila approached the Wardrobe Department with more than a little nervousness. She tried to tell herself it was just Marinette but that thought didn’t reassure her like it used to.  Despite her best efforts at manipulating the situation (or straight-up attempted second degree murder), Lila was still a nobody. It galled her that everyone thought Marinette was so wonderful and sweet. But unlike school, Lila’s usual tricks didn’t work on actual rich and famous teens with connections of their own. They didn’t even work on Adrien now that he was dating The Ice Queen.

They’d never worked on Felix. Even if she hadn’t alienated his friends, he was smarter and more perceptive than his cousin. Damn him. Now she had to be very careful because she was sure he suspected her involvement in Marinette’s near deaths. Oh, and his but he was just collateral damage. Her main target had been Marinette.

She carefully assumed a tranquil demeanor, took a deep breath, and opened the door to the Wardrobe Department with a wide smile.

Inside she found organized chaos as interns rushed from dressing room to dressing room with heaps of garment bags, tape measures, and various sewing tools she didn’t recognize. She felt horribly lost and out of place, a feeling she hated, until a young woman who introduced herself as Sophie led her to a room.

Sophie opened the door for her and ushered her inside. Lila smiled in thanks and Sophie gave her a weird half-smile before leaving and closing the door behind her. Great. Now the crew didn’t like or trust  her either. She didn’t actually care about them but she made a mental note to be even more careful what she said or did on set. She wasn’t famous yet and couldn’t risk rumors of bad behavior. Only stars got to act like divas without reproach.

To her surprise the person waiting for her wasn’t some intern or even one of Sra. Jennings’ assistants but Marinette herself. She forced herself not to smirk but having the girl who had somehow stolen everything she wanted waiting on her was hilarious.

“Marinette!” she chirped. “It’s so good to see you! I’m so happy you designed a dress for me! I can’t wait to see it!”

The other smiled and Lila was surprised to see she didn’t look upset to see her like she expected. It could be because of Marinette’s newly acquired acting skills or she was just more comfortable when designing. Lila couldn’t wait to see the gown so she could make Marinette look mean and petty by complaining about how unflattering the dress was. She wouldn't put it past the little wannabe to design something hideous and expect Lila to wear it.

Marinette just continued to smile, looking calm and professional. “I hope you like it, Lila. I designed it not just for your character , but with you in mind as well.”

Lila blinked, temporarily at a loss for words. She had expected Marinette would have designed something for her character. It was, quite literally, her job. But to hear that she’d also taken Lila herself into account when designing? It made her feel…almost warm.

Someone cleared their throat and Lila turned her head away from Marinette and towards the sound.

Sitting with her legs crossed and a camera on her lap was Chloe Bourgeois. Joy. Another person with too much influence and far too much money. Someone who also hated her guts and would cheerfully have her shot into the sun. Or just…deported.

“Oh, Chloe!” She pretended to be surprised. “Still taking pictures for the making -of book? How wonderful for you!”

The blonde looked at her from under her lashes with a “duh” look on her face. Lila continued to smile, because she was sure it would piss the other girl off.

“Um…anyway…” Marinette walked over to a rack containing a single garment bag. (She had insisted that every dress for the Founders’ Ball scene be stored separately and under lock and key. She told Mme. Jennings it was to prevent leaks to the press but it was really to prevent sabotage.) “It’s time to have your dress fitted.”

She unzipped the bag and gently pulled out the dress. Lila clenched her jaw to keep it from dropping. She was all ready to act offended and Marinette had unknowingly thwarted her.

The dress was a beautiful dark green that shimmered under the fluorescent lights. It was long with a full skirt and cinched waist. It had a high winged collar, long sleeves,  and a v-neck that would show off her collar bone without being too revealing. She studied her reflection in the full length 360 degree mirror.  It was absolutely gorgeous, but…

Lila pouted and tried to make herself look pitiful. “It’s…not orange.”

Chloe huffed and muttered something about someone being ungrateful under her breath.

Marinette just smiled. “The dress is made from Georgette silk from a cruelty-free company. I know your favorite color is orange but I thought the color would enhance your hair and skin tone. Not to mention making your eyes pop.” Her smile seemed genuinely encouraging and not mocking at all.

She held out the dress to Lila. “Just try it on first before you decide. Some clothes look different on the hanger than they will on a person.”

Lila dearly wanted to say no but something made her nod. It did look like a pretty dress and she’d never worn Georgette silk before. The material alone must have cost a fortune and that by itself made her want to try it on.

She gingerly took the dress from Marinette, who hadn’t lost her smile as she pointed towards another door. “There’s a private changing room right there. Don’t worry, no one will watch you change.”

“Not even Chloe?” Lila asked and tried to sound timid.

“Don’t insult me,” Chloe’s reply was lazy, like she didn’t care. Marinette gave Lila a thumbs up and Lila turned on her heel to get changed.

It was time to see if Marinette was even one-quarter of the designer she made herself out to be.

                                                      *****

She had once prided herself on her ability to read people. It was important to know how to manipulate them once she knew what they wanted, feared, or loved. Marinette had been mostly easy to figure out. She had a strong sense of justice bordering on self-righteousness, was in love with Adrien Agreste and wanted to be a designer like Gabriel Agreste.

Well, she was still self-righteous, had given up on Adrien and Gabriel was a fool for not offering this girl an internship.

Marinette had been right, the dress was perfect for her.

The color made her skin glow and brought out the auburn highlights in her hair. Her olive eyes did indeed pop. The sleeves were too long and the waist didn’t suit her but damn if she wouldn’t ask to take this dress home with her once production was over.

Damn, she couldn’t believe that Marinette Dupain-Cheng of all people was going to humble her into saying the other girl was right.

“Lila? Are you alright? Come on out. I want to check the fit.”

She looked into the mirror one more time and did a twirl for herself. The skirt swirled around her legs nicely. “Coming!”

Lila knew she must look good by the way Chloe’s eyes widened and Marinette clasped her hands together with glee. “You look great!”

Chloe remembered why she was there and began to take pictures. “The dark color really suits a mysterious character like Adler is supposed to be.”

“And the design is sophisticated, like Adler, but still age appropriate. I also chose a material shot with gold thread. It’ll catch the light as you dance.” Marinette noted, even if she seemed surprised Chloe had said anything positive.

Marinette turned her back to Chloe and began asking Lila questions. “How does the fabric feel? Too heavy? Is the hem too long? I adjusted it because your character would probably wear at least low heels to the ball. Is there anything else you’d like to alter?”

Lila was taken aback, not just by the rapid fire questions but the fact she was receiving any positive attention from people she knew hated her. “Um…” she thought for a moment and surprised herself by being honest. “The sleeves are too long. Could I have them cut back to my elbows?”

“Three-quarters instead of full sleeves. Got it.” Marinette made a note on her phone and looked back at Lila expectantly.

Lila pulled at the waist. “Could you take-in the waist? It seems a little loose. I’d really like the dress to enhance my figure a little more. If you don’t mind!” She added hastily. She looked down and tried to appear pitiful to needle the girl. Old habits die hard.

Marinette didn’t take the bait and Chloe didn’t comment. The designer grabbed a few pins from something on her wrist and made adjustments. “How is it now?”

“Yes. It’s a better fit without being too tight.” Lila was impressed; Marinette hadn’t even tried to poke her. “But…it needs something.”

Chloe frowned as she continued to snap photos but Marinette’s brow furrowed in thought. Suddenly she brightened. “A belt! A belt made from cork and then covered with the same material the dress is made from!” The designer’s eyes almost glowed as she thought up ideas. She shook her head and focused on Lila. “Maybe the belt buckle could be covered in crystals…and a matching necklace, maybe some earrings.” She looked at Lila. “Is all that okay with you? I was thinking you could wear your hair up and we could put in some crystal hair accessories. I’m thinking of stars or flowers.”

“Um…flowers,” Lila decided. Requesting stars might make her look egotistical and she didn’t think that was a good idea.

Marinette just made another note in her phone. “That’s it for now. Just take the dress off carefully and hang it up. I’ll get started on the changes in the next few days.”

Lila didn’t go anywhere at first. Instead, she continued to stare at Marinette. Even Chloe stopped taking pictures for a few minutes.

Marinette blinked at the other girl. “Is something wrong? Was there something else you wanted to change?”

“Um,” Lila stammered, and not for effect, “I…I thought you didn’t like me.”

The designer blinked, looking surprised. “Why should that matter right now?” Lila reared back in surprise and waited for the girl to continue.

Chloe put the camera in her lap and flexed her fingers. This could be interesting.

Marinette sighed then took a deep breath to steady herself. “Look, Lila. We’ll probably never be friends.” Because I think you’ve tried to kill me twice. Oh, and there was all that crap you did to me last year. “But I’m a professional. I would never do less than my best for anyone, no matter what our personal relationship might be.”

“Aunt Amelie says a true professional never mixes personal vendettas with work,” Chloe put in.

The other two girls ignored her and Marinette continued.

“Besides, I think acting is a good career path for you,” she almost smiled at Lila, shocking her. “You have some natural charisma, something every actor needs, and to be honest, your acting has improved as production’s gone on.”

Lila blushed despite herself at the praise. Victor and Gio had been giving her acting lessons with some occasional input by Anna. Even Felix would nod in approval after one of her scenes. Now to have the girl she hated praising her? It was amazing and warmed her more than she ever thought it could. It must have killed Marinette to admit Lila was actually good at something, so her good opinion meant more to Lila than anyone else’s.

Lila fiddled with one of her hair ties, an old habit from when she was nervous as a little girl. “Well…I mean, a model’s career can be measured in months, whereas a good actress can work for decades. Like Meryl Streep.”

Chloe snorted. “Uh, please. Don’t compare yourself to her. Slow your roll, Rossi.”

Marinette didn’t comment on what the blonde said but smiled at Lila. “Hey, there’s nothing wrong with having a goal or someone you want to emulate.” She chuckled. “And you could definitely do worse than an actress who’s won multiple awards.”

Lila herself would rather compare herself to Catherine Deneuve or Ornella Muti. But the American Actress would do. She refused to admit to herself that she panicked when trying to think of an actress with a long and respected career.

She allowed herself to dream of a better life, one she’d earned and deserved. Something she’d built on her own and couldn’t be taken away from her on Gabriel Agreste’s whim. She didn’t want any of these people’s friendship (except maybe Gio) but she would gladly accept their respect.

It was kind of funny,  she thought later as she was changing, all I had to do was use my natural skills for good and even Marinette Dupain-Cheng would praise me.

Yes…with time and a little work, not to mention a future designer to make her look good, she could finally have it all.

                                                              *****

“Claude? Aren’t you going to come out and show us?”

“Give me a minute, Mari-dear. I’ve never tied a cravat before. This is why men used to have valets to help them dress.”

Claude slid the curtain open and walked out. Only Marinette and Chloe were there as promised. Ostensibly this was to keep the costumes from being leaked online but also Claude was surprisingly shy when it came to trying new things.

“Okay, Claude, so how does it…fit?”

Marinette broke off and stared at Claude. Chloe nearly fumbled her camera but was able to regain her composure before her friend or…Marinette saw that she’d lost it. She started snapping photos as Claude stared at his reflection in the full-length 360 degree mirror.

Claude looked amazing, much better than she could have ever imagined when she dreamed up his design. The dark gray tailcoat had a swallowtail cut and was decorated with three diagonally placed gold buttons that went from the bottom of the lapels to the bottom of the waist. The waistcoat underneath was eggplant purple in a subtle diamond Harlequin pattern with a matching cravat tied in a bow. She had kept the buff colored  trousers simple and plain so they wouldn’t detract from the rest of the outfit. The shirt was simple and white for the same reason.

Marinette couldn’t handle the suspense. “Well?!”

“This…this isn’t anything I’d choose for myself. Not in a million years.” The designer’s shoulders began to droop before Claude hastily added, “But it looks great on me!” He twisted from one side to the other. “I look so…” He lifted his chin. “Elegant and classy. Kind of formal but with style and flare. Purple is Allegra’s color. Did you know that?” He looked at Marinette over his shoulder and smiled before going back to admiring his image in the mirror.

“Yeah. I knew that.” Marinette was relieved to know he liked what he saw. “She told me and I wanted to coordinate your outfits but I also thought the darker purple would bring out your eyes.”

“And you were right!” He approached Marinette as if about to hug her then stopped. “It’s probably not a good idea to hug you while wearing this fancy outfit.”

“I’ll mark you down for a hug later.” She told him and then asked, “how is the fit? Too tight”? Is there anything you don’t like or want adjusted?”

He looked down. “The pants are a little long. I don’t want to trip while wearing them. Could you raise the hem? Maybe a centimeter or so?”

She made a note on her phone. “No problem.”

Chloe gave him a nod of approval. “Looking good, Claude.”

He bowed to her and then straightened. “Wow, this is really easy to move in! I thought it would be all…” He made a vague hand gesture. “Stiff and itchy, and completely black and white.”

Marinette laughed. “We have better fabric than they did back then. Plus, we’re just going for the aesthetic of the time period, not total accuracy.  And the black and white evening wear was more Victorian while your outfit was inspired by Regency fashion. Besides,” she smiled up at him. “You have way too much personality for black and white.”

“That’s more Felix’s style than mine anyway.” Chloe raised a brow at the insult to their friend but didn’t comment.

“Oh! One more thing,” Claude looked nervous  “Could I have a hat? A top hat? That would be cool.”

Marinette pretended to make a note but she was already working on one. “As long as you don’t wear it while dancing.”

He pouted at her but she wouldn’t fall for his big blue eyes. “All right, you’re done. Go change.”

Claude hopped down from the platform but added, “Okay, but don’t forget my hat.”

“Don’t be an ass, Claude,” Chloe told him and then recoiled as she glanced over and realized he hadn’t shut the curtain.

“Gah! I didn’t mean I wanted to see your ass, you exhibitionist!”

                                                  *****

“Wait, you did what?” Allegra paused while dressing. “Why the hell would you do that?”

Marinette glared over at a smug, unrepentant Chloe. The photographer had texted Allegra a sneak peek of Lila’s dress.

Allegra couldn’t believe it. The Italian girl had tried to kill Marinette twice. Both times Felix had nearly been collateral damage. Rossi should be forced to wear the scratchiest dress Marinette could make. Instead the little psycho was being rewarded for her shitty behavior by wearing a damn fine dress for the ball scene.

“Oh wow, Allegra, it’s like I’m a professional designer or something.” Marinette rolled her eyes.

“You’re an intern,” Chloe reminded her.

“An intern creating original costumes for a major motion picture,” Marinette shot back, “so I must be doing something right.”

Chloe raised an eyebrow. Damn, Dupain-Cheng had really found her spine between moving on from Adrien and getting out from under Bustier’s thumb.

“Yeah, but-” Allegra began.

“The point is,” Marinette cut her off and pointed to the door. Chloe nodded. Anyone could be eavesdropping and they couldn’t afford to tip off their prey or cause an akuma if an angry crewmember went after Lila. Again. “I never do less than my best for anyone. I don’t want anyone I design for to look bad, no matter what our personal relationship is.”

Chloe texted Allegra and the other girl dropped the subject. Time to finish dressing anyway.

Allegra wished the dressing room had a mirror but oh well. She slid back the curtain and stepped out. She caught a glimpse of herself in the 360 degree mirror and her jaw dropped.

“Holy shit.”

She wasn’t sure if it were she, Marinette or Chloe who said that. She looked from her reflection to the designer and back again. “You know what? Forget anything I said about you making a nice dress for Lila. Mine is at least four times better.”

“Hell yeah it is,” Chloe picked up her camera and began taking pictures of Allegra from as many angles as she could.

The dress was a strapless lilac organza dress with a tulle overlay. The tulle was artfully draped over the skirt in gentle folds that gave the dress an almost Grecian look. There were also silver dove appliques on the skirt and bodice and gathered at the waist to look like a belt.

Goddammit she was gonna slay. She found herself wishing Alii could see her right now but the kwami was in her locker for safekeeping. She would not risk her being stolen by someone like Lila…or freaking Marinette out with a mini unicorn.

Allegra patted the material of the skirt. “No offense, but…is this supposed to be so stiff and heavy?” She hoped she wasn’t offending Marinette. They were just starting to become some sort of friends and she didn’t want to be the one to screw that up.

Instead of being offended Marinette just grinned. “Look under the flowers around your waist.”

Allegra did and to her surprise, she found a bunch of snaps. She undid each one and the skirt of the dress fell away,  making Allegra glad Marinette had insisted she wear workout shorts under the dress. The underside was full of pockets, some large, some small. One was long and skinny, just the perfect size to hide a sword.

“Elinor is the group’s weapons expert and since you’re expected to fight near the end of the ball scene I thought it would be a good idea for your character to have some built-in weapons pockets. That’s why the dress is as long as it is. She can wear a pair of trousers and some athletic shoes or maybe what the Americans call ‘cargo pants’ so she can carry all her weapons while running or something.”

It was on the tip of Chloe’s tongue to tell Marinette she was brilliant but she wasn’t in the habit of giving compliments to people. Especially someone she used to bully. Fortunately Allegra beat her to it.

“That is completely freaking brilliant!” Allegra praised and Marinette just smiled and shrugged.

“Thanks. The hardest part was making sure the material was sturdy enough to support the weight of anything we put in the pockets and to hide the trousers.” Marinette laughed, pleased to see Allegra appreciated her skills. “At the same time, it had to be light enough so you could move and dance in it.”

Allegra did a twirl and then a few moves she’d seen in a Bik Bok video. “It looks like you succeeded.” She reattached the skirt with Marinette’s and then looked at the other girl as a thought occurred to her. “You know, I think you might consider a degree in architecture or engineering instead of fashion.”

Marinette smiled but also looked thoughtful. “You know, I’ve considered both of those fields. But fashion is what I love right now. I can always change my mind in the future.”

“No, don’t, Dupain-Cheng,” Chloe spoke up with a touch of her old snottiness, “become a designer. Save us from the mediocre crap Gabriel has become.”

Marinette burst out laughing. It made Allegra smile to see the other girls bonding, even if she didn’t understand the reference. She knew Felix’s uncle was Gabriel Agreste and he was an asshole but she never really liked his designs. Well, it wasn’t like the Quantic Kids didn’t have their little secrets and in-jokes as well.

Chloe also laughed, a small little chuckle but Allegra still counted it as a laugh. She was glad to see her new friend was trying to overcome her past and be nicer to Marinette. There was also a possibility Marinette could learn to forgive her bully and they could all be friends.

Marinette shook her head. “I used to look up to that man until I got to know him a little better. Besides, why does a world-famous designer…”

“Dress like a giant peppermint stick?” Chloe finished for her and the two girls looked at each other before laughing their asses off.

Allegra grinned and headed back to the dressing room. It was a shame the Heraldry Box was missing so many kwami. She was sure Marinette would have made a great Knight.

                                                      *****

Ivan looked in the 360-degree mirror one more time and did a double bicep pose, admiring his reflection. The leather frock coat with silver thread embroidery made his muscular frame look even more intimidating. Marinette thought the dark silver vest and black shirt looked good on him. She thought adding scrollwork to the hems of the sleeves really made them pop. Ivan would make a beautiful contrast when he danced with Mylene.

Ivan seemed to agree. “I look like a Goth pirate!” He looked down at the vest. “I really like how the buttons are little metal skulls. How did you get Madame Jennings to agree to let you do that?”

She laughed. “Are you kidding? They were her idea.” She grinned at the amazed look on her friend’s face. “She’s a closet death metal fan. I lent her your Vyson CD and she loved it.”

“Wow!” Ivan looked impressed.

She held out a hand. “You look a little stiff.”

He carefully lifted his arms. “It’s a little tight on the shoulders.”

She nodded. “I thought so. It looks like you had another growth spurt. Let me adjust the jacket.”

Marinette re-measured her friend then let him go back into the dressing room. After changing into his street clothes he gave her a smile and the silent Chloe a semi-civil nod before leaving.

She looked over at Chloe. “Do you need a bathroom break? Maybe some water or a snack?”

Chloe just blinked. She knew they were allies against Lila and Felix had started to like Marinette but having her former target be nice to her made her feel awkward, not to mention guilty.

“You don’t have to be nice to me,” she told Marinette. It makes me feel bad.

“I know,” Marinette stuck pins and marked up Ivan’s jacket with dressmaker’s chalk. “But being angry with you all the time wears me out. Besides,” she almost smiled, “I’m on the clock.”

Chloe wasn’t sure how to take what Marinette was saying to her. Was she trying to start a fight or keep the peace? A strong Dupain-Cheng who stood up for herself was still hard to understand. “I’ll take you up on that bathroom break. Don’t get started without me.”

“I won’t,” Marinette promised but the blonde was already out the door.

                                                        *****

Don’t be nervous. It’s a professional fitting, just like Marinette taking your measurements was. Don’t get turned on when she’s just doing her job.

Luka would be lying to himself if he didn’t admit how much he liked having Marinette’s hands on his body, even if it were completely innocent. He thought she might have enjoyed it too, judging by her melody. Still, it wouldn’t be right to make a move without her say-so.

Then again, there was Felix. He could tell the other boy was starting to become close to Marinette and he admitted he liked Felix too. He could see them becoming friends, all of them. But the problem was Felix was starting to harmonize with Marinette and if she chose Felix, Luka would have no choice but to step aside.

Dammit.

He was tired of being the bigger person and just not pursuing what or who he wanted. He’d been understanding when Marinette had a crush on Adrien. He knew she couldn’t help how she felt any more than Luka could. Adrien might have been happy with Kagami but his obliviousness was not only a pain in the ass but wasted a year of Marinette’s life.

He loved her and he wanted her to be happy but he was also tired of waiting around to pursue his own happiness. He didn’t want Marinette to fall for Felix just because he looked like his cousin. Luka wanted to be just a little bit selfish for once in his life.

His feet had taken him to Marinette’s workroom without him realizing he was already there. He didn’t want to knock yet! Not when his own melody was all jumbled and discordant!

Then he had an idea. He’d recorded a new song on his phone earlier that day before even coming to work. He’d play it for Marinette to get her opinion before his fitting. That way he could calm himself. Music always had that power for him.

#Worthy Opponent au #lukanette #felinette #felix graham de vanily #marinette dupain cheng #luka couffaine #quantic kids #mylene haprele #ivan bruel #amelie graham de vanily

[dias-writing-corner]

Eyeless Jack headcanons

Im going to preface this with this is not my usual writing and sorry but not sorry. This EJ is my personal version of the dude that I use in rps.

My version of EJ really loved cooking as a human for himself as a student in uni and for his sister when their mom had long nights when he was younger. He tries to still incorporate it w his new diet. But he has to modify all the non vegan products w human stuff.

• Normal Milk gives him a mild tummy ache, normal eggs are hit and miss sometimes he’s fine w them sometimes they make him puke. He just kinda avoids it if he can and replaces the eggs w human blood

> Fun cooking fact you can in fact do that with pork blood.

• For some reason vegetables don’t make him sick some just taste better than others with his new sense of taste.

• He has to be carful eating carbs, if he eats too many at a time he can get constipated and feel like shit for the next few days until it passes his system. A little bit of pasta or bread w human meat is fine but he can’t eat it all on its own.

#creepypasta #crp ej #crp eyeless Jack #creepypasta ej #EJ #Eyeless Jack #ej hc #creepypasta hcs #my writing #eyeless jack hc

[bitchysunflower]

personal tips for anyone struggling to be a functional human being!

(these work for me, they might not work for everyone but i think it’s good to share things like these anyway)

eat more protein!! plant protein, meats, or powder protein. it boosts your energy so you won’t feel as lethargic

i don’t like eating three big meals, so i have started to eat smaller meals more times during the day. breakfast; a little snack; small lunch; afternoon snack; small midday snack (and if i’m sleeping late another little night snack). high protein snack with some carbs will fill you up and help you gain energy!

DRINK WATER! always keep a water bottle full next to you, drink even if you don’t feel thirsty. maybe you’re like my friend who doesn’t like the “taste” of water but don’t put those weird caffeine filled liquids in it. try putting spearmint, or some lime! they are good for you and it adds something to spice up your water!

(as a beautiful person told me) think of chores as self care! need to do the dishes? ITS SELF CARE! need to clean your room? ITS SELF CARE! this is more of a mental training than the others but it is wonderful honestly, made doing the dishes much more pleasurable.

not eating enough vegetables? make them into something else. pasta is my absolutely favorite food but it’s not enough in vitamins to sustain you. get your favorite vegetables, cook them, and make them into a big pot of sauce. (you should add chickpeas too, they have a lot of protein!) with this you have a full meal with all the nutrients you need and it’s a quick meal to make. make it big enough so it lasts a couple of days.

there is NO shame in eating the same meal for two weeks straight. i know the internet is full of cool recipes and people encourage you to have a different meals every other day but its exhausting! find one meal that you enjoy and make it for as long as you can. than when you get sick of it find a new one. make your cooking easier not harder. this goes for anything, eat the same fruit everyday, same breakfast, etc.

have trouble remembering, or finding the strength, to do basic things day-to-day? make it a game, or more specifically, download a self care game. my friend recommended me this app called Finch. you take care of a little bird, and you set daily tasks for you to complete (from surviving the day, to doing daily exercise). You can dress up your bird, decorate its room and help it grow! doing you daily tasks will give you crystals to buy things for your bird, and you can even hatch little eggs that turn into companions for you birdie! this is a link from The Viking that talks about the features. apps like this is not for everyone but it doesn’t hurt to try!

having a sudden burst of motivation? take advantage of it. do things you have been putting off. doesn’t need to be all of them, but doing one or two things when you’re feeling motivated it will definitely make the mental and work load lessen.

it’s ok to have lazy days. you don’t have to be productive everyday. those clothes sitting on your chair for a week that you need to put away? they are not the end of the world. it took me two weeks to put away the clothes from my suitcase after i came back from a trip, but what is important and that i still did it! did i take long? yes. but that is not the end of the world.

#self care #self care tips #tips #advice #take your time #everything is going to be ok #things are okay

[coldcrypt]

I'm marco, 26yo cis guy from UK. I got into weight loss because I wanted motivation to stop drinking around april 2022, and ended up bingeing and purging on avg 3 times a week for abt 6 months. I relapsed back into daily drinking (litre+ of vodka a day) and detoxed in hospital at the start of the year, but have been finding it really difficult to stop and stay stopped, so I'm back here. I've nearly died so many times recently from drinking and I just keep gaining/getting more and more swelling &bloating. If any alcoholics/bulimics have advice for someone who cant stop shovelling it in to get a sustainable deficit, I'd appreciate it a lot. My goal is to be safe about it, but I'm open to anything that works.

I'm experimenting with different methods of weight loss, sometimes fasting, sometimes rezzing, but am very inconsistent. I binge v often. This is not so much an accountability blog, more like recording what I've learnt and just venting. My bmi starting around may20th was 22 ish, was 5th june 20, 4th oct 22.5,and now 20.5 jan27th. Have to get it back to 20, but goal would be 18 with low body fat %. My main goal is to stop drinking and get healthier (thinner).

To do list:

get compression sleeves for running

Things that worked:

going to meetings make it much easier to abstain and think abt other things than food -> much easier rezzing

being distracted by things unrelated to food

having good food options for rezzing prepped, like boiled eggs, or having a solid stock of staples like steak, yoghurt, fruit and veg

not buying food that I will binge on, if I buy it, even if its not for me, I will eat it and get fat

taking longer routes/walking instead of getting train (energy, weather and mood permitting)

peppermint tea

keep it in the day. One day at a time really works, it just takes practise to get into mentally

supporting blood sugar throughout the day, especially if going out/socialising/towards the end of the day (when alc cravings pick up). This is best done with small amounts of carbs following a rly high protein 1st meal

Things that I was doing before but that didn't work out well:

taking K supplements (just eat s. potato for carb allowance, is filling too and has loads of K, stops palpitations when intermittent fasting)

pho, miso or gochujang as soup bases. They are too salty and lead to painful sluggish bloat.

Oyster sauce is not worth the cals

Diet sodas. Caffeine dependence builds really quickly and teeth need help

olive oil for sautéing vegetables. Pointless cals. Fats can come from lean meats like beef steak, eggs and occasional avo as well as omega3 supplements

fasting. At 18 hours I feel like I'm goin mental and at 22+ the palpitations make it uncomfortable to move around or do anything at all

strength training (esp core) at home without equipment. Dont enjoy it at all, not motivated at all

watching hours and hours a day of ED documentaries, scrolling ED tumblr, and watching hours of foodtube every day. Obsession -> binges

hard avoiding carbs. Leads to massive brain rot and feeling morbid. Can't do anything. Inevitable binges, usually alcohol, or 4000 cal of food.

sushi is not really worth it. White sushi rice is too sugary. Its usually a carb craving in disguise, or something to get on the go and is expensive.

weighing every morning just lead to trying to use caffeine as lax and more chaos on energy levels, or obsessing and not being distracted.

Press ups make my joints click a lot. Planking is really boring and doesnt feel rewarding.

Using sex for stim instead of food and cooking

Curious about:

feta, olives and cherry tomatoes for satiety.

Broccoli and mushrooms (annoying to prep or dont taste nice when boiled)

chicken sausages for cheap lean protein (think they can be a binge trigger or lead to mental scarcity feelings but not sure if worth)

ways to make cottage cheese not taste shit (cocoa powder is not cutting it)

cardio > strength training maybe. Runner's high > nothing from strength training (that I ever felt anyway).

Finding a way to enjoy strength training

yoga and stretching for stim

skipping breakfast has really mixed vibes. Can feel completely awful, but can also make rezzing much easier. Can also lead to binges in the evening (because there's unspent cals in the budget). Probably best to stick to eating breakfast but keeping it high protein and not eating right away when waking up.

Experiment with meds timings.

minced turkey or discount fish for lean protein variety

ways to make eating salad not miserable, cos it does work rly well for getting a deficit. (Maybe herbs and lemon and chickpeas? Make in bulk? Quinoa? Binge risk)

_____________

New plan from 4th Oct '23 can't be strict bc cant track exercise cals without a phone for looking at time spent walking and running so will need to do a gross-in instead of net- in quick basic (aspirational) plan:

1000 cal deficit/day for the next month -> 1500 gross in/day allowance

NO: baked beans, bone broth, oil, paté, pasta, alcohol, caffeine, quiche, cheese, instant snack food, pesto, chorizo, hummus, meal deal foods reason: too sugary or fatty for their worth in flavour. Cause binges every time when rezzing. Not filling enough. Caffeine leads to crashes and the pickmeup is usually food.

LESS: bread, onion, ketchup reason: can be useful carbs in a pinch, less likely to cause binges than above (because they are only accompanied with protein). Onion and ketchup help with mental scarcity and support good vibes

MORE: fruit, veg soup, sweet potato, tuna, s. noodles, fruit juice, avocado, egg, steak, quorn, butternut squash reason: sugar cravings need to be comboed with fibre addition, or fruit juice could be useful diluted for emergency alc cravings. Everything else is lean protein and should be frontloaded in the day. Sweet potato is there for potassium and low glycaemic index carbs. Avo and s. noodles are contentious bc of price and fat/nutritional value reasons

ALTERNATIVES TO EATING: gaming, reading, weighing, cleaning, brushing teeth, counting cals, weights, stretching, running, walking, meetings. mostly overeat because of boredom and to break monotony in free time or to stim. These are alternatives that work and also make rezzing easier in other ways.

#pinned

[tdusk]

not sure of my current weight and kind of freaking out bc ive pigged out the past few weeks :( all my progress disappearing…

but its ok bc lots of experimenting has led me to the following conclusions:

simple calorie deficit is too hard for me bc then i binge

the foods u eat when focused on weight? DO matter. sugars dont fill u or fuel u. fiber, protein, etc.? so much fucking better.

DRINKING WATER IS INCREDIBLE, so filling

i dont know how to purge

exercise is EFFECTIVE since it makes me want to eat healthier (and suddenly, a bowl of egg whites sounds so so fucking good…)

fasting is easier than CICO

eating w others is actually harder for me than eating alone… but does not matter. will not eat alone, will eat w others (cant have them worried)

On that note, I’m implementing a new plan to lose weight by the time I come back home after exams (week of Dec. 17!) and finish off the rest of my weight loss by my return to college (January 10th — 48 days away!).

Here’s the deal. I’m estimating i’m at most 131 lbs right now. More likely than not, closer to 129, so let’s say 129. I want to lose 14 lbs. of fat and preserve the muscle that I have.

With that in mind, behaviors I need to work on:

drinking lots of water

high protein, lean meat foods (egg whites, chicken, whitefish) w/ occasional carbs when not fasting/after workouts

breaking fast w the RIGHT foods too!!

black coffee + lots of tea too

WEIGHT LIFTING and some cardio

Now, for some math…

14 lbs * 3500 kcal/lb = 49000 kcal (terrifying)

BMR: 1400 kcal

NEAT/Exercises: roughly 700 kcal

Planned TDEE: 2100 kcal

49000/2100 ≈ 24 days of fasting

So, if I can fit in 24 days of fasting (NOT consecutive… alternating!! 48ish days til goal day), and dont binge on other days, i could actually do something totally crazy and lose all this fat thats driving me nuts.

Cannot start my fast tomorrow or today since today at Thanksgiving, i had lunch w family, and tomorrow is my bday dinner. however, last thing i ate was at 3:30 today, and i plan on not eating until dinner tomorrow!

water fasting is soooooo much easier to me tbh. once im hungry, it eventually dulls and i forget abt food. just restricting all i can think abt is food, but the water fasting makes food almost seem like objects — inedible, not meant to be in my mouth. its PERFECT. so water fasting every other day should be optimal for my success!!

wish me luck 🫶🫶🫶

#⭐️ving #th!nspo #wl #i want to ⭐️ve #th1nspø #ed not ed sheeran #tw ana diary

[cocosnocalcocoa]

low cal meal tips

here’s a few meal alterations and recipes i have that make eating low cal easier, and healthier!

black coffee/espresso- cafe a la llave espresso

cuban coffee bean is very sweet and rich in flavor so drinking it without adding anything isn’t as unpleasant as drinking a plain american.

if you have a sweet tooth or just cant stand bitter coffee, this is a perfect alternative.

2 cals per 8 oz

healthy sandwich/toast alternatives

this is my go to lunch meal: two slices of toasted challah or whole grain bread, 2 turkey ham slices, equal lettuce slices for each bread, and two slices of tomato.

challah bread is made without butter, and is sweeter, so when i cant come across whole grain bread, i use challah. both are about 80 cals per slice.

this recipe can be really diverse; you can also replace the bread with low carb tortillas if you would like it to be lower in calories + add or replace it with cucumber and tuna or eggs and avocado. its up to your preference!

i like this because it provides a healthy balance of carbs, protein, and greens, and overall its refreshing and filling.

about 200 cals per sandwich- but it varies depends on what you make it with. you can slice it in half and save the rest for later to have 100 cals per meal if you’re looking to eat lower cals

oatmeal

plain cooked oats with a pinch of salt for flavor cooked with water, not milk

you can add almonds, some fruit, or cinnamon if you want extra protein or flavor!

this is my go to if i need fiber and want to stay full for a long period of time

140 cals for 1/2 cup of dry oats, but i usually do 1/4 cup of dry oats for 70 cals

quest protein bars

after trying a lot of different protein bars, this is now my go to

they’re the lowest in cals per serving in comparison with other brands, and provide the most protein per serving as well

at first the flavor and texture is a little gross, but after a while and once you get used to it, its a great alternative if you’re craving dessert or something sweet

170-200 cals per bar, depending on the flavor. (theres a wide variety of favors to choose from!)

those are all the meal tips for now, theyre not very original, but i’ll make an updated list as i come up with more recipes!

lmk if you have any questions or concerns <3

i wish y’all safe eating

#⭐️ve #⭐️ving #tw ana thoughts #tw ana diary #tw 3d #ana trigger #ana goals #ana inspo #ana rules #anorekix #th!n$p0 #th!n$piration #mealspo #mealspø #healthy meals #low cal meal #i wish i was thinner #ana tip #anatumblr #anasp0 #@na rules #@na tips #@na diet #skinnyyy #skinnysp0 #low cal restriction #low cal recipes #low cal ideas #low cal dessert #low cal breakfast

[artielu]

I'm still surprised by that poll characterizing oatmeal as "old people cereal". Oatmeal is AWESOME, y'all.

It's cheap, especially if you buy a bigger size. You can get really nice oatmeal brands for a low price, especially in terms of cost per serving. You can get twenty servings of nice oatmeal for like seven dollars plus tax.

It's nutritious. High in protein and fiber and complex carbs that give lasting energy and keep your digestive microbiome happy.

It doesn't spoil. Keep it in an airtight container (like the awesome metal can McCann's comes in) and it will stay good until you eat it all.

It's perfect leftovers. You can make it ahead and it reheats great in the microwave. I make 4 cups of milk to 1 cup of oatmeal on the weekend and eat it for breakfast all week.

And it's delicious. It's so versatile. It's a vehicle for yum.

McCann's Irish steel cut is my favorite. Just simmer out in the stove for half an hour while you do whatever. I use plant based milk instead of water, for flavor and nutrition. My favorites are ripple, oatly, and cashew when it's in sale. Usually ripple. The steel cut has a fabulous texture and mouth feel, and is full of fiber and protein. You can find these at regular grocery stores and Amazon.

Bob's Red Mill is also great. Their quick cook steel cut oats are also yum and a lot faster than the McCann's. I get mine at Costco but again Amazon etc. This one is less common at regular grocery stores.

And then there's the brilliance of overnight oats. Stupid easy and so delicious. Add Greek or Icelandic yogurt, some fruit, and you're good to go.

And y'all, oatmeal can be sweet or savory.

Oatmeal is great with everything bagel seasoning and a fried egg. Or bacon and cheese. Or spiced nuts. Oatmeal likes Sriracha, if you're into that. Sprinkle chia seeds out ground flaxseed or hemp seeds for extra nutrition.

Oatmeal is great with maple syrup (the real stuff) or honey and dried fruit and some nuts. Re nuts, buy the cheap tiny bits of pecans or almonds (see trader Joe's). You don't need pricey whole nuts or halves. If you want to be really fancy, toast your nuts in a warm pan for a minute first.

Oatmeal is great with a blob of nut butter swirled in.

Oatmeal is great with cream and fresh berries. I like it with coconut milk and raspberries.

It's great with chocolate chips and cinnamon and butter.

Y'all. Oatmeal is fucking great.

Love yourself and buy the good oatmeal.

#artielu has opinions #oatmeal is delicious and nutritious #oatmeal #old lady on Tumblr #really do take care of your digestive system kiddos

[lucysweatslove]

(Tw ED related stuff under the readmore, this time talking about purging too)

(Don’t worry I’m safe/fine and didn’t engage in any disordered behavior)

So y’all know how I went on a hike yesterday and saw beautiful foresty sights?

Well idk how many calories I actually burned because fuck that, but I was out for a while, about 2.5 hours of actual moving but that involves very slow going on snowy patches. I spent maybe half an hour total with taking pics or stopping for a snack midway, some of that time getting low underneath trees to get closer to the creek (which was very active!).

Anyway, I was SUPER HUNGRY yesterday which is totally fine because 2.5 hours of activity requires fuel.

But today I’ve been having like a really hard time feeling full and satisfied, which is probably also related to hiking. Doubly annoying is that my body doesn’t want protein. Like I had a protein heavy breakfast but needed to pair it with potatoes (which, like carrots, are absolutely not a vegetable 😉) and toast because alone the idea of eggs and a vegan sausage like. I felt nauseated thinking about it.

Now I believe my body is trying to replenish its glycogen and is like “feed me carbs so I can continue to take you on hikes through knee deep snow!” which is fine but I don’t make carb heavy meals. Like they just aren’t in my repertoire of things to cook. And the few I do make that are carb heavy are also still protein heavy- like a turkey bagel sandwich is carb heavy because carbs in bagel, but I also put goat cheese (maybe with avo) and deli turkey on it and have vegetables and dip which I like with yogurt. Even my pasta is more protein heavy because I use lentil pasta (I honestly love the taste). Anyway most of the meals I know how to make and can do without much executive planning will have 25-35g protein in it.

And my body today is just not wanting it. I try, and the moment meat is being cooked, or cooked meat is being prepared, or I even smell the yogurt or milk, I literally feel so sick.

I could just eat carby things alone but something about it ALSO felt wrong- like just a bagel? Boring. Bagel with jam? Also boring. Also, snacky. I couldn’t bring myself to actually make a meal- even like, cutting up fruit I just couldn’t do. It didn’t make any sense to me. So after breakfast I finished an older protein bar I had forgotten about from last week, and then just didn’t eat.

Husband made (quite large) garlic knots tonight to use up old pizza dough. THIS smelled divine. I ate one- still hungry. Second- still hungry. Third- why tf am I still hungry? He only made 6, 3 for me and 3 for him, so I couldn’t have another one. So I was rummaging through the cabinets and remembered all the candy and treats we got on Sunday. I still had some of those, so I finished off the licorice and hello panda cookies (maybe 1-1.5 “recommended servings” left for each), have a couple pieces of fruit mochi, even have some coffee candies and a lychee gummy because they sounded super good. I was sipping water throughout too, as I do throughout the day.

But nope, still hungry. And now I’m craving something salty. Like great I satisfied my need for carbs, but my body is still hungry and is now wanting salt. So I have a couple handfuls of cashews. Keep in mind this is all spread out around 3.5 hours. It’s not all at once. I’m giving myself time to eat, to get it in my body, have my hormones adjust to the new fuel, etc.

Finally, after the cashews, I feel ACTUALLY satisfied and full. Not sick full but like, appropriate full. The full that means I won’t be hungry at an inappropriate time but I’m not over full. No more cravings. Like “move on with your life” full.

But what does my brain decide to do with this? It’s like I’m 19 or 20 again and my brain is saying “nope we can’t feel full, hunger is good, get rid of it.” (Note: I primarily exercise purged, so this little voice isn’t just like throw it up or abuse laxatives, which I also have done, but also “count up all the calories, try to estimate, and then go to the gym and burn it all off, you haven’t gone since Tuesday!”)

It’s just this small little instinctual urge which is likely coming up because stress and new scholastic endeavors and being forced to have people perceive me. Just got me in that old headspace again because of situational similarities.

Also: the fact that it was cashews that did it at the very end is killing me. Like not even after the mochi or the lychee gummy. Something with micronutrients and very very much needed salt because I DO get dizzy without it. Something traditionally considered “healthy.” THAT is what turned ED brain on. It’s literally about how full or empty I feel and how many calories I believe I’ve eaten vs burned in a day. Doesn’t matter where it’s from. Oats or chocolate or molasses or fucking carrots or nuts.

I’m just annoyed that even this far into/past recovery, my brain still goes back ten years when my body literally just feels NORMAL. Ten years into recovery and my brain is STILL triggered sometimes just by *actually feeling fully and completely satisfied.*

Anyway: I’m totally safe, not going to do anything, it was just like this little whisper of old times which I can easily tell to stfu now, but these moments are so rare I forget they exist and when they come back, it’s just a reminder that I will likely always have them trying to peak through stressful times.

#tw ed discussion #tw purging #tw purge #ed recovery

[unlikecharlie]

It's "No, don't say that! You're so pretty!" and "You're a wonderful person and whoever doesn't see that is an idiot" until you're in danger of joining me. You say I'm brave when I'm just existing and you equate fatness with ugliness so when I say I'm fat - a fact - you hear, "I'm ugly" so you rush to reassure me that I'm beautiful. You don't live in a world where you can possibly imagine that the two aren't mutually exclusive and that I can be both fat and beautiful.

You care about my health so you advise me not to eat bread or rice or potatoes, to not order that Big Mac for lunch, to drink water instead of Coke, to not eat after six p.m., to go out for a walk more. Even if those carbs are the only foods that don't leave me starving two hours later, even if McDonald's is the only thing I can afford for lunch, even if Coke is one of the few things that brings me joy sometimes and it's only a couple glasses a day, even if I wake up late because I have insomnia and I'm starving when eight p.m. rolls around, even if exercising makes me miserable and reminds me of all the reasons I hate myself.

To that, I say: take a look in the mirror - better yet, take a look deep inside, get to the very bottom of your being and tell me. Tell me - why do you fear being fat so badly? Is it, maybe, because you fear being treated with the same casual and ingrained disdain you bestow on me every day? Is it because you don't truly see fat people as human beings, as people worthy of respect simply because they exist? Because you fear that you'll one day see the same look in your eyes reflected back at you from your partner's eyes? That your words will one day fall from your mother's lips and they won't be directed at a stranger minding their business on the street?

I can lose this weight someday, if I truly want to, but will you ever scrub the shame from under your skin and hose the hatred out of your veins? How much longer can you pretend that your worst nightmare isn't that scale you obsessively check every morning showing a number that your friends make fun of on the daily at the gym? And when will you realise that I'm not the enemy? That a crispy baguette or a steamy bowl of rice aren't the enemy? That being fat isn't the enemy? When will you face your reflection and see there, buried in every pore on your skin and under every carefully covered blemish, the vitriol poured into you from the day you were born by a society that hates nothing as much as it hates its citizens?

If the answer to all of that is anything other than "now", then go ahead and enjoy your kale smoothie and bone broth. I will be here, fat and alive, eating fried eggs at two a.m. because I love being healthy but I love not being miserable even more. When we die, only one of us will have no regrets, and it won't be you.

#rambling #writing #writers on tumblr #writeblr #fatphobia #food mention #tell me to add tags if needed