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#and if anyone DOES want to expand on it -again as always- you have my blessing
cosmicghoul99 · 2 days
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The Whole Watcher Debacle
Just giving my two cents on the whole Watcher situation. I've been following this since it started, and initially, I wasn't going to say anything, but honestly, why not? (lol)
I want to start off by saying that this was not a good business decision to make. By pulling this, they are essentially alienating their international and low-income fans. The world is going through a global economic crisis, and the fact is that creating a streaming subscription service when companies like Disney and Netflix themselves are struggling is not a sound financial decision. Saying $6/month is "affordable for everyone and anyone" is a tone-deaf statement. In this economy, that is the difference between getting to eat for a day or not. It's not just "two cups of coffee". It's quite literally life or death for some people.
Now, before I get hounded by people saying that "artists deserve to get paid for their works" and "it's all about paying artists until you have to pay them yourselves." I do support small artists and small business owners. I support smaller creatives whenever I can and whenever I have the means to. The problem is that Watcher is not a small artist. They are not even a small business. They are, and apparently always have been a company. In addition to that, they are getting paid. They profit from ad reads, views, Adsense, patreon, merch, and live shows.
Their patreon alone nets them at a minimum of $30k per month. This is on the lower side, mind you. I've heard some other content creators talk about this, and it's estimated that they make around $50k-$100k from AdSense and views. On top of that, they get paid $15k-$30k per sponsored video, and a vast majority of their videos are sponsored. They would make around 60k-120k from sponsorships alone. Add all this together, and they make at least $140k monthly. This is, again, the least, and this does not count in profit from their merch or live shows. Their merch sells for anywhere between $60-90 depending on the item, and they continuously sell out. I don't know how much their live shows are, but I imagine it's something along those lines. If even 100 people bought merch, although this is likely in the thousands, they would make 6,000 minimum from just merch. The current national minimum wage in the United States is around 7 dollars. Per month, if you worked for 40 hours per week, you would make around $1,120. They are making nearly 5 times that just from their merch. They make, on the low end, $150k per month. This is more money in one month than most people can make in 2 and a half years. Even the lower end of money on Patreon makes them more money than most people make in a year. Annually, they are making, and this is greatly underestimating the amount they make, at least $1 million. On the higher end, if we calculate that they are making around $100k per month via Patreon, and we estimate with their sponsorships, the range only increases, to around $320k, adding the higher end of sponsorship money and AdSense. Yearly, that's almost $4 million. Their range is $1million-$4million. I'm sorry, but if you are netting in this profit and still need more for your business, then you are doing something wrong.
Watcher are not struggling artists living paycheck to paycheck and barely making ends meet. They are a multi-million dollar company whose owners live very comfortable lives. This is fine, but they should not act like they are struggling when this business venture was because they were operating outside their means and want to go even further beyond that. YouTube is terrible regarding many things; I get it. There is nothing wrong with creatives wishing to expand, but if you financially cannot support that decision, you should not do so. I am not okay with people being hateful and bringing up unnecessary things. Still, the fact remains that all of their CEOs show their very lavish lives and spending online and constantly talk about it on their podcasts. They could not afford those things if they were truly struggling like they tried to make people believe. Some people are being rude online, yes, and that's not a good thing, but the vast majority are being rightfully upset and are giving valid criticism on why this is a bad idea.
Watcher is not worth a $6/month subscription. They do not have enough content to justify this decision, nor do they have enough followers. Youtubers with followings much larger than theirs have tried to do this and failed. Paywalling their content is not the right move. It essentially stagnates their growth. How are people going to find them, and how are they going to get attention for this? Posting one video on YouTube every time you make a new series -which we don't know how frequently they will update- will not push that content to people. Also, most people who see that initial trailer or episode will not pay $6 monthly to see the rest. The fact is that, like it or not, at $6, they are competing with some of the biggest companies in the industry. Companies like Netflix, Disney+, Hulu, Prime, and more all have standards ad supscriptions ranging from $ 5-8 dollars, and they have a catalog of thousands of shows, movies, and more. Yes, it sucks that there is a capitalistic monopoly on these services, but switching to it is not going to help them. Going from YouTube to Vimeo OTT will not net them the profit they think it will. They will struggle on this platform because it's arguably worse than YouTube, and eventually, it will raise the price to keep content up, so they will raise their streaming price.
That's another thing. They advertised this as their own service, unattached to anything else when it's not. It's still run by another company, and now they must pay that company. It feels disingenuous to say this when it is not true. It is not an app or something you can play on TV; it is a website, a fairly sketchy one at that.
There is, again, a cost of living crisis going on. Most people cannot afford to put food on the table, much less spend this money on a streaming service. And even if people wanted to pay, they've barred their international audience from doing so. If you are not in the US, you will have to pay for a VPN to use since the website is not available outside the US, and you will also have to pay a conversion fee since they did not include regional scaling of prices. $6/month is already a lot for people in the US but for people living in other countries with a weaker currency? That's anywhere from a week of groceries to a third of their rent. They did not consider how this would affect international fans, and that's not a good business practice.
And since I will get the inevitable, "You aren't entitled to free content," I'll say this. Yes, people are not entitled to content, but creators are not entitled to people's money. The truth is that if your audience does not like something or want something, then you will not get their support. As a content creator, you must cater to your audience; you can't expect them to pay for or be interested in other content or passion projects. Also, their content is clearly not free. They do get paid. In no world do they not get paid. I will reiterate that they are not small, struggling artists who can't afford to live. Watcher isn't a small indie company that barely gets by. It is a million-dollar company with around 25 employees who live lavishly in one of the most expensive cities in the world. They do not need more money. They want more money.
Plus, people are entitled to their content when that content is mostly based on fan-submission. A lot of Watchers shows rely heavily upon fan submissions and support. Are You Scared?, Too Many Spirits, Food Files, and Ghost Files happen because fans submit stories, places to go, evidence, and more. In fact, Are You Scared and Too Many Spirits are just stories and personal anecdotes that fans share and submit, or that Watcher finds online and read aloud in a backyard. (NOT what I would call TV quality, but okay...)
They posted a while ago that they were taking submissions for a new season of Are You Scared?, Too Many Spirits, and Ghost Files. They did this fully well-aware that they would soon release a paywall. Do they expect fans to pay 6 dollars to see their own submissions? Additionally, they could pass it off as free before this- even though they were getting paid- but now they are locking this service behind a paywall, meaning they make money directly from these stories and this content. People who submitted stories should be compensated since Watcher makes money from fan content.
This still does not acknowledge that they have not responded yet. It has been nearly three days since this blew up, and they have been almost silent. And it is deafening. The only things people have gotten are posts and statements from friends and spouses of the owners that are as out-of-touch and ridiculous as this decision. This shows people that they are doubling down. They had time in the initial 24 hours to respond, and the longer they took to respond, the worse it was getting. It's very telling and a slap in the face to people who have supported them for years, from Buzzfeed to this, through many different times, including the pandemic. Watcher relies so heavily on their audience, yet they do not have the respect for their audience to at least put out a small statement. That is why people are upset. They were helped and built up so much by their audience, then made a video saying, "Thanks for supporting us for years, but if you can't afford us anymore, get out," and maintained radio silence. At the same time, their close friends and family basically called people entitled for not wanting to pay for a service they did not ask for, during a global economic crisis. No one asked for "higher production value" or "TV quality." People were happy with normal, low-production content, like the kind that got them famous/popular in the first place. Yes, they can want to make more expensive content, but they cannot guilt-trip their fanbase into paying for it. I am a small creative. If I make a ridiculously expensive art piece or something with expensive materials, then hand it to someone and say, now you have to pay me for this, even though you didn't ask for this, they will not pay me. It's as simple as that.
Yes, artists should get paid. But Watcher already get paid generously. Not only have they done wrong to their fans, but they have also screwed over their patreon members by essentially saying that they have to pay double for their content. They suddenly switched the tiers on Patreon, removed most of the content, and left only the podcast, and their members do not even get the subscription for free. Most of their Patreon members pay between the $ 10 and $20 tiers, but many also pay around $100. They don't get the service for free even after paying Watcher that much and for so many years. That's spitting on the people who have financially supported you for years.
All in all, this is a very poor financial and business decision, and they are making it worse by remaining silent. They have alienated most of their audience, upset most paying supporters, and been trending for three days for all the wrong reasons. Massive YouTubers have made videos on this, and it has broken from fandom drama into the general internet. This is the beginning of the end, unfortunately. I don't wish any ill will, this is not hate at all. No one at Watcher is a bad person at all, they just made a bad business decision. Unless they apologize, I can't see this working out.
Sorry for the massively long post, I’m not an avid watcher (hehe) or fan of their content but I've had many thoughts bouncing around my head about this business decision since this started, and I wanted to share.
TLDR: Watcher made a seriously bad business decision that upset most of their audience, including paying supporters; claimed to be struggling even though they very clearly aren't and have not responded to their incensed fanbase yet, despite the urgent need to do so.
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prettieinpink · 6 months
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 ♡ PRETTIER HIERARCHY ♡
HAPPY 1.2k+ TO PRETTIEINPINK! Thank you guys for the support, here’s a lil gift from me to you. 
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If you don’t want to read all of this, I created a hierarchy of everything you need to do to glow up, right at the end!!! But I recommend reading everything first <3
I’ve been trying to ‘glow up’ like forever, but there was no actual content out there that helped me glow up. Most people sugarcoated, or their lifestyles of glowing up just weren't sustainable for me. So, I created this post for everyone planning to glow up or maximise their prettiness! 
DISCLAIMER – THIS POST IS NOT DETAILED. I wanted to do a simple outline to give you guys an idea of what to do to maximise your pretty. A little help to plan, especially as we enter 2024, but I’ll expand on these individual topics in the future. 
GRADE 1 – HEALTH
Being healthy can make you SO pretty. Being healthy is the foundation. There are other ways to be physically healthy, but after doing these 4 the rest usually fall in place.  Here are some simple ways to become healthier, and then eventually prettier!
HEALTHY EATING.
 I'm not going to go super deep into this, as no diet fits everyone + Please consult with your doctor before taking any extreme advice. Though, I'll tell you a bit of things that helped me !!
Stop drinking soda. Please, it's so unhealthy and it's full of so many sugars. Even the ones that are 0 cal, have weird chemicals that I don't trust. Many more alternatives taste just as good, like coconut water, herbal drinks, smoothies etc! Especially because nowadays most large calories and sugar intakes are from sugary drinks 
Stop restricting, moderate it. I am a big fan of dairy, yoghurt, milk, and cheese, I love it all. However I acknowledge that dairy isn’t the healthiest, so instead I always ensure I'm eating in moderation. E.g I put a tablespoon of shredded cheese in my omelettes instead of a handful. You will enjoy healthy eating so much, but only if you're not restricting. 
Have one serving of fruit, vegetables, or both with each meal. It provides so many good nutrients, makes you fuller and keeps you hydrated. Measure with your palm to ensure you’re eating enough. 
Know that just because one food has fewer calories than the other, does not mean it is the healthiest. I struggled so much with this, especially because many weight loss accounts will mention this, but it is so wrong. White bread has fewer calories than brown bread, but brown bread is higher in nutritional value. 
Plan snacks. Planning snacks for throughout the day, instead of spontaneously eating is so much better. I recommend this for anyone who gets hungry during the day but not enough for a meal (like me!)
Drink more water. Not 1L a day, because it is so much more ideal for you to have a glass of water with each meal + when you feel thirsty. 
Start educating yourself. This is as much as I can tell you, im not a nutritionist or a dietitian but if you plan to ensure that healthy eating becomes your lifestyle, educating yourself is essential!! 
EXERCISING.
Once again, I'm only going to go surface level with this because it is only based on my personal experience + Consult with your doctor before doing anything extreme. 
Start aiming for 5k+ steps. I see a lot of people advertise 10k+ steps as the standard, or what's active, but it's not sustainable If you're a busy person with a sedentary life or a beginner at exercise it is gonna be hard to sustain that. But walking is so good for you and simple too.
Join your local sports! Such a fun way to socialise while still exerting energy. 
If you can't do that for whatever reason, there are many ways to exercise at home. Research and pick a workout that you like and is sustainable. E.g. jump rope, pilates, home exercises, weightlifting, biking
Start standing more, it exerts energy. While very little, it still is very good. 
That's it, but remember to always start small with exercising, and RESEARCH!
BETTER SLEEP
To me, it doesn’t matter how much sleep a person is getting, but much more rather the quality of said sleep. So, here are some tricks and tips to get better at sleeping!!
Investing in a good quality pillow is so good for your sleep, the more comfortable you are, the better + it reduces the chances of poor posture or hump necks 
Research about different sleeping positions, as some positions at night promote back pain, difficulty breathing or poor posture. 
Start sleeping in complete darkness. Remove all sources of light or invest in good light-blocking curtains OR binders. Though, binders seem to be much more effective but are more pricey. If you cannot do either of that, buy a good sleeping mask. 
Sleep in the cold. Your body easily falls asleep if your environment is cold, and you’re less likely to wake up in the middle of the night. 
It is ideal for you to stop using devices an hour or two before bed, but if it is not sustainable for you, wear red blue-light-blocking glasses instead of clear ones. Red ones are more effective. 
Avoid large physical or mental tasks before bed, use that time to unwind and tell your body it's time to go to sleep. 
Avoid napping for longer than 30 minutes, or it can disrupt the sleep you have at night. 
Go to sleep at similar times every day. If you go to sleep earlier or later than this, you will ruin your sleep schedule and feel groggy. 
I expand more here. 
ORAL HEALTH
This is a step many people will neglect, but the most important in my opinion. Your teeth are the only body part that fails to regenerate after a certain age. Here's how I take care of mine!
Brush your teeth for longer. Brushing your teeth should not be a sped-up process, put actual thought into it. 
Start flossing. Floss removes plaque, and reduces the chances of your teeth yellowing! Do this ideally after each meal.
Brush your teeth before you eat. Brushing my teeth is the first thing I do when I wake up because brushing your teeth is supposed to protect your teeth from the food, not wash away your food. 
If you have the means, buy an electric toothbrush, as this gets in the little nooks and crannies that a regular one cannot. 
Use a tongue scraper or your toothbrush to get rid of any bacteria on your tongue. 
Use straws to drink coffee or any heavily coloured drinks. This avoids the premature yellowing of teeth. Make sure you put the straw on the side of your mouth to avoid your teeth. 
Use good mouthwash. A total game-changer, makes your breath fresher and your gums healthier. 
If need be, definitely use a purple teeth serum as a whitening treatment.
GRADE 2: STYLE 
I do not mean literal clothes and style, that's in grade 3. This is all about basic grooming and such. This is 2nd most important, especially if you're somebody who’s never been invested in beauty.
SKINCARE 
Get a basic skincare routine, cleanser and moisturiser.
If you have other skincare concerns e.g. dry skin, hyperpigmentation, acne, or blemishes, invest in a serum. 
Avoid touching your face frequently.
Wash makeup brushes & pillowcases often.
Dermaplaning to help skincare absorb better. 
Use sunscreen!
HAIRCARE
 Invest in a good shampoo and conditioner for your hair type.
Use a good hair oil, it doesn’t have to be for growth, but just for nourishing your scalp
Sleep with a good quality bonnet on.
Find which type of hairbrush works the best on you!
Use warm water to remove product build up and dirt, but use cool water to rinse.
Buy spray suncsreen to put on your scalp during hot weather.
Once again, research. Hair is just too much of a broad topic for me to thoroughly talk about.
EYEBROW & LASHES
Trim your eyebrows regularly to avoid too many stray hairs
Tint your eyebrows and lashes. If you already have dark eyelashes and brows, try a lighter look. I seem to prefer a dark brown look to a black 
Invest in a good lash & brow serum or use any oil
Don't use Vaseline on your eyelashes.
 Limit how much you wear mascara. 
I talk more about this here. 
BODY & HANDS 
Have a daily shower routine which consists of washing, exfoliating and moisturising your skin. 
Using scented products is such a game changer, smelling good is like being a magnet 
Doing manicures, my routine is a cuticle scrub, file, buff, polish, paint then cuticle oil. 
Shave on the areas you want to. Having smooth skin is nice, but to ensure your shave lasts longer, watch a video. 
I post about creating a good shower routine here. 
LIPS
Invest in a good, portable lip balm. I prefer the ones that burn your lips to give it a more fuller effect
Make your lip scrub. Sugar, honey and turmeric are my go-to. Helps remove dead skin.
If you have hyperpigmentation around the lips, use glycolic acid, only a little.
GRADE 3 – FASHION
My favourite grade, because it is so fun and focuses more on the aesthetic side of things. However, they're not essential, which makes it all the more fun!
CLOTHES 
 I have a post about wardrobe essentials here. 
Find out about what season colours you are. This helps with using colours in fashion to enhance. ( if you don't like your colours it is okay, it doesn’t change much if you do not wear them) 
Figuring out your undertone colours for jewellery. 
Figure out what works for your figure. Experiment with necklines, bottom length etc. 
Find out your general style too, what you feel confident in and more assured. 
MAKEUP
Research and only watch tutorials of women who look like you (trust me). 
Dear Peachie has a bunch of videos of how makeup works, for beginners to more advanced artists!
Then make your signature look for every using your knowledge. 
FRAGRANCE 
Invest in a good eau de parfum and eau de toilette. Cheap fragrances suck. 
Invest in a good-scented lotion. My favourite brand is Vaseline.
Using a good nice fabric softener for laundry makes you feel and smell fresh
Using an expensive scented body wash doesn’t matter, invest in a good body lotion. 
HAIR STYLING 
Hairstyles that enhance your face shape, not shield it. 
Having a simple signature look for everyday
Experimenting with your hair is ideal, but if you can't for whatever reason once again research.
GRADE 4 – PERSONALITY
The way you seem to others can make you so much prettier. Fake it till you make it as always~
POSTURE
Having good posture makes you stand out, makes you look prettier and is generally good for your health
Chin is parallel to the floor, shoulders are down and relaxed, rib cage is elevated, pelvis is tucked in, your knees straight and flexed, and the weight on your feet should be in the center.
You can stretch for good posture, there are many videos on this on YouTube.
Ensure your sleeping position is promoting good posture, not poor. 
Buy a back brace to reinforce good posture.
BODY LANGUAGE
Learn how to move your body during conversations to seem more self-respected and confident.
Train your facial expressions for different situations, but especially for taking photos.
There are tons of books and videos on this, won’t expand because this is all about how you want others to perceive you. 
ELOQUENCE
Improve the way you communicate with others. Be fluent and clear to understand 
Expand your vocabulary, know how to substitute words on the spot and make sentences. 
Knowing what to say in like any and every conversation makes people like you more, and the best way to be more eloquent is just practice. 
There are so many good books about this.. read.
GRADE 5 – MIND
Personally, having a good mindset does boost your self-perception of your prettiness + being happier in general makes you more inclined to take care of yourself = being more pretty!!!
MENTAL HEALTH
Start journaling as a way to organise your thoughts and to truly analyse your emotions. There are a lot of journaling prompts on Pinterest and such!
Meditation as a way to clear the mind when needed is so good. There are a bunch more meditations for other purposes though like body image, productivity, focus or just general relaxation.
Go to therapy, or just have at least one person you can talk to when life becomes tough.
Cut back on social media. There's misinformation, trolls and a lot of content that isn't nourishing your mind. 
Get some sun! Simple and doable, but has a huge effect on the body. It can improve the current mood. Wear sunscreen. 
Start learning how to process situations, instead of bypassing the emotions that come with them. 
Start surrounding yourself with like-minded people. Seriously, being around people who are just too different is draining. 
MINDSET
Embrace growth and reject all forms of comfort. Being uncomfortable with something is growth. 
Don’t do things because you ‘have’ to do this, do them because they benefit you and see it in that way. E.g ‘I’m going to clean my room because I deserve a clean place to rest and work’ instead of ‘I have to clean my room’
Become detached. Stop letting everything that happens in your life affect you, start observing instead of consuming. 
Self validates yourself. Tam Kaur did a wonderful video on this that I think everyone should watch.
Stop believing that everything and everyone is out to get you. Your subconscious mind believes this, do not feed it, starve it.
There's a lot to say about mindset, but I recommend watching some mindset YouTubers who explain everything in depth.
and now,,,, here's a ANOTHER gift from lanny because u read her post. And liked it. And reblogged it. And followed her.. pleaseee
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yuri-is-online · 6 months
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Azul totally has an octopus and shrimp plush that he makes kiss.
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Who? How? Usually when I get an ask I know where it comes from (or why anyway) but this time I just looked at my phone and got hit by a bus. But you know what annon? You are so right, he totally does.
notes: they/them used for Yuu, Azul engages in some SSS tier simping (shrimping?), once again this is a joke but I am not taking cold meds this time! Please look at my masterlist for more serious works.
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Plush toys do not exist in the ocean, the concept of them was something Azul had been made aware of in his research and made note of in land training camp. But of course, as was the case with more things than he would ever admit to outside of a court order, Azul failed to grasp just how ubiquitous and popular plushies were. He had even been gifted an octopus plush as a prize during one of the first Board Game Club events he attended, something he had intended to brush off as childish until he saw the way his club mates reacted, even if he didn't understand why himself the little guy was clearly an enviable prize. A claim made less believable with how he hadn't let Floyd squeeze it, or Jade poke at it, and he certainly had not agreed to give it to Idia no matter how much he had begged.
The shrimp plush had been a... strategic purchase. No really, if anyone asked he had a perfectly reasonable explanation for why he had bought this specific plush that he had to go out of his way to find, order, and watch out for to make sure that Jade didn't bring it to him with the rest of his mail. The Mostro Lounge was always going to expand to have a merch store, and since plush toys were so popular with humans it made sense to have some! He just needed to ensure this particular brand was of a high enough quality to commission-
No one was going to buy that excuse. All the more reason to keep this little indulgence a secret, even if the seller had been confused by his request for discreet packaging.
"It's just a plush sir?" To them maybe, to him this is a painful sign that he should just say something already but he needs to plan for that and this should help. The two plushes certainly look natural enough together, Azul has seen pictures of some beds that have a bunch of little guys set up on them and he's beginning to see the appeal. Maybe he should get two eels? Smaller than the shrimp, obviously, it's the only way the real ones will ever let him live it down. But by thinking that he is sort of acknowledging who the little shrimp is supposed to represent. And they're sitting next to him in his bed.
He takes back his previous thought, Azul has no idea how humans sleep with things that remind them of the objects of their affections, it's filling his mind with situations.  He props himself up against the headboard, holding both plushies close to his face so he can see them without his glasses.
“I was so lonely.” Azul is incapable of picturing him otherwise.  “I really missed you.”  He sniffles, and the little shrimp jumps to comfort him.
“I missed you too!”  The little shrimp is friends with the octopus?  Azul has no idea when that happened he just got them today-  “Let’s never be apart again ok?”
“Do you really mean that?”  The little octopus tentatively reaches out one of his stubby tentacles towards the shrimp, who takes it happily.  “I don’t want to let you go…”
“You don’t have to.” comforts the little shrimp. “We can get married and do our laundry and taxes together forever and you won’t ever have to be lonely ever again.” 
And that is apparently when Azul decides to come back to his senses, just as he is halfway through humming a wedding march and making the plushies kiss.  He remembers himself enough to keep them from dropping to the floor, but they still fall to his side as he collapses back onto his pillows redder than a boiled lobster.
Maybe he should just… give the little shrimp over to Yuu.  And make some actual progress on that laundry and taxes bit.
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flightlessangelwings · 6 months
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My Knight in White
Marc Spector x fem!reader
Word count- 4.3k
Dialogue prompt- “ that was for saving my life. “ Action prompt- [ KISS ]: after having been saved from immediate danger by the receiver, the sender, in a state of intense emotion and relief, kisses them to express these feelings.
Warnings- s.mut (18+ ONLY!), protective!Marc, mutual pining, minor violence, minor character death, harassment of reader (not Marc), damsel in distress, unprotected piv, no use of y/n
About this reader- she is smart but not physically badass, works with Egyptian artifacts but I left it vague so you can fill in for yourself exactly what she does, no specific city where they are is stated either so it's open for you to imagine wherever, no physical descriptions other than body parts
Notes- Posting my October Year of Protectiveness @yearofcreation2023 a little late because of kinktober but I'm so excited to share this! This is expanding on an idea that @melodygatesauthor had months ago who wanted to see a damsel in distress reader and Marc saving her!
@flightlessangelwings-updates is my update blog so please follow that too and turn on post notifications to stay up to date on when I post!
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~
“You’re here late,” Marc’s voice broke you out of your thoughts.
You blinked, refocusing your eyes to the world around you. Looking around, you didn’t even realize how long you had been hunched over your desk, studying and cleaning the artifact that had recently been brought in. “Marc…” you breathed as you stretched, your back aching as you became aware of reality again.
He smiled softly as he uncrossed his arms, “You work too much, you know that,” he leaned against the doorway as he watched you. 
Marc loved to watch you work. He loved to watch you do anything really, but when you worked, you became so focused, lost in concentration. You handled the old artifacts with such care and respect, he couldn’t help but linger his gaze on your hands. He had never met anyone smarter than you, and he loved to listen to you go on and on about any topic you found interesting. Marc took it upon himself to watch over you, making sure you were always safe even if you never truly knew just how much he looked over you.
“I lost track of time,” you replied as you gathered yourself and packed everything away, “I didn’t realize it’s after dark.”
“And the fact that everyone else left hours ago didn’t clue you in,” Marc smirked.
“Hey,” you playfully chastised him, “I can’t help it, I just got in the zone, you know. Besides, these new artifacts are so fascinating I just can’t tear myself away from them!”
It suddenly occurred to you that you and Marc were completely alone. He was right- everyone else left hours ago. As you stood up and made your way over to him, you took in his handsome features once more. And the way he leaned against the door made your thoughts run wild. The two of you had known each other for some time now, but you kept your true feelings to yourself, afraid of damaging your friendship or losing him.
Marc looked you up and down, “Want me to walk you home?” he offered as he followed behind you, watching you flip the lights off and lock everything up.
“I’m alright,” you suddenly felt nervous. Marc has been to your place many times, but the shiver that ran up your spine made your heart race, “I don’t live that far.”
He furrowed his brow, “You sure?”
“Yeah,” you replied with a soft smile, “Thanks, though,” you stepped in front of him before you turned back, “Good night.”
Marc watched you walk away before he whispered a hushed, “Good night.”
He watched you as you made your way down the street in the darkness until he couldn’t see you anymore. Marc had already decided he was going to follow you anyway, watching over you from afar, but when he saw a group of sketchy-looking men with wicked grins sneer and tail behind you, he knew he had to do more to keep you safe.
You wrapped your arms around yourself as you made your way down the street. You didn’t make it far from Marc when you noticed that a group of men started to follow behind you, and though you couldn’t make out their exact words, you knew they were talking about you. In that moment, you wished you took Marc up on his offer to walk you home, but you couldn’t turn around now. All you could do was hope you got inside fast before they caught up to you.
“Hey sweet cheeks,” one of them called out to you.
Too late.
You glanced over your shoulder and found that they were even closer to you than you thought, and you quickly bolted down the street without a word. That only egged them on more, however, and you heard them laughing behind you as they sped up as well.
“Oh come on, sweetheart,” they sneered, “We just want to talk to you.”
A gasp escaped your lips as you turned down a street, hoping to lose them. But, your plan immediately backfired as you found yourself trapped in an alleyway at a dead end. And you failed to shake them off your tail.
“Please,” you breathed as fear pulsed through your veins, “I’m just trying to get home.”
The men surrounded you, darkness shading their features, “We’ll get you home, sweet girl.”
The others chuckled as they started to reach for you.
“Please leave me alone,” you tried to sound more assertive, but you knew you didn’t intimate them at all. They were all very muscular and taller than you, and you knew you didn’t stand a chance even if you tried to fight back. But that didn’t mean you were going to go down without a fight.
You screamed when one of them grabbed your arm, and you swung your fist into him as hard as you could while digging your feet into the ground. Gritting your teeth, you tried your best to yank yourself from his grip, but tears of frustration filled your eyes when you realized it was useless.
“No!” you cried out as you tried again, your pleas drowned out by their cackling laughter.
Suddenly, your luck changed.
Out of nowhere, something yanked the man who helped you back and he yelped as he found himself flung against the wall of the alleyway. The other men all looked up as a hooded figure in all white descended down and immediately went on the attack against them.
You gasped as you scurried back out of the scuffle, pressing yourself against the opposite wall as much as you could as if you tried to phase through the wall and disappear. Your eyes went wide as you watched the mysterious hero fight off the men who attacked you, beating and punching them down until none of them moved.
The figure then turned to you, and time froze for several moments.
He raised his hands in surrender, “I’m not going to hurt you,” the voice from under the mask said.
You couldn’t help but feel like the voice was familiar. But, you stayed silent.
“Are you ok? Are you hurt?” your rescuer asked as he stepped closer to you, looking you over.
Your hands trembled, but not from fear this time. Taking a deep breath in for the first time in what felt like forever, you finally replied in a hushed voice, “No,” you whispered, “I’m alright.”
As he stepped close enough so you could reach for him if you wanted, you studied his outfit more. He wore all white, but as he got closer, you noticed it looked like linen wrappings, almost like a mummy. A crescent moon symbol adorned his chest and a white cloak covered his head. You could see the muscle definition even through the thick wrappings, and it made you swallow hard.
You had no idea what came over you at that moment- perhaps it was the adrenaline- but without a word, you reached out for him, grabbed him and pulled your bodies closer as you laid a kiss on his mask where his mouth would be.
It caught him off guard, but he didn’t push you away. Instead, he cradled you close, holding onto your waist with one hand and your arm with the other. It felt warm, comfortable, right.
“What was that for?” he asked with a smirk in his voice.
You smiled at him, “That was for saving my life,” your voice was still hushed, your breath taken away, “Thank you.”
He cupped your chin affectionately. Through the mask, he studied you up close. Everything in Marc screamed to take it off and tell you who he was, but he also knew that knowing his secret would put you in danger. And Marc would not allow that. For now, he would be satisfied knowing you were safe, and that he was just in time. He only nodded, not saying anything else before he broke away from you and leapt up into the air, disappearing into the night just as mysteriously as he appeared. 
You watched in bewilderment as it took your brain several moments to process what just happened. You touched your lips as you realized that you kissed a total stranger, and one who you didn’t even see his face too. But, as you looked around and saw the men laying on the ground, the adrenaline ran through your veins once more and you ran out of the alleyway and quickly made your way home.
The whole time, Marc watched from the rooftops until you were safely inside.
*
In the following weeks, you threw yourself completely into your work to cope with what happened that night. A mix of emotions constantly filled your head, and you found that pushing them away with the distraction of work was the easiest way to deal with them. There were days where you hardly looked up from your desk, so deep in concentration that the rest of the world was a blur around you.
Marc kept a watchful eye over you the entire time. He knew why you were like this, but when others asked he feigned ignorance. No one had to know what happened to you, and it wasn’t up to him to tell anyway. Instead, he chose to keep an eye on you from afar, like he always did. 
Vaguely, you were aware of Marc’s presence in the shadows… and it felt familiar to you somehow. He always kept an eye on you, but after that night it somehow felt different. But, having him close was one of the few comforts you had after your attack. Yet, your mind also wandered toward the mysterious hooded figure who rescued you… 
“Hey,” Marc’s voice broke you out of your thoughts. 
You looked up with a startled gasp, not realizing how late it got. Again. “Marc,” you breathed. 
He looked worried, “Everything alright?” Marc asked, “You’ve seemed… off lately.”
Your eyes darted from his face to your desk a few times as you felt nervous suddenly, “I’m fine,” you knew you didn’t convince him, you didn’t even convince yourself.
Marc sighed your name as he settled down next to you, “You know you can tell me anything, right? I’m here for you.”
Heat rose in your face, “You wouldn’t believe me if I told you,” you exhaled deeply, “Besides, you’d just make fun of me.”
“Never!” he exclaimed, acting playfully offended before he turned serious, “What’s on your mind?”
The comforting tone in his voice and the warmth of his presence allowed you to let your guard down, “Ok…” you took a breath, “The night I was here late a few weeks ago,” you started, “A group of guys tried to jump me,” your voice quivered and you felt Marc’s hand over yours, “But I was saved by…” you paused as you looked at him sheepishly, “A guy in a hood and something that looked like mummy wrappings.”
Marc’s face lit up as he grinned knowingly at you.
You nudged him playfully as you erupted into a fit of giggles out of pure embarrassment, “See I knew you were going to laugh at me!”
“No, sweetheart I’m not laughing at you,” Marc raised his hands defensively, “I swear!”
Something changed in the air between you as you stared at each other. The light atmosphere shifted and it felt like something heavy lingered between the two of you. Your heart pounded in your chest as you realized just how close Marc sat to you, and your breath caught in your throat as you studied his features. Not to mention that was the first time he called you anything affectionate like that…
“Marc…”
“Listen, I…,” he started, interrupting you.  
Leaning in, you were entranced by him and you hung on his every word. Just being near him and laughing like this made all your troubles melt away. You felt safe here, with him. 
But, before Marc could continue, a loud crash cut him off. 
Both of you jumped up, and you let out a soft shriek. Marc immediately went into defense mode and every muscle in his body tensed. It was late, and the two of you were the only ones in the building. He made sure the doors were locked too, so he knew whoever broke in meant trouble.
“Marc?” your voice shook.
“Listen to me,” he turned to you and placed his hands on your shoulders, “I need you to sneak out of here. Take the back exit and hide somewhere. I’m going to distract them and get a path for you to get out.”
“But the artifacts,” you whispered as you glanced over at the old objects on your desk that you spent weeks cleaning and studying. The first thought in your mind was that these are robbers looking to steal and sell them, and you didn’t want that to happen.
“Things can be replaced,” Marc sounded urgent, “We can get them back. I’m more worried about getting you safe right now.”
Your eyes went wide as you looked at him, stunned. Just as you were about to reply, though, another crash made you jump and Marc pulled you in close to keep you calm.
“It's gonna be alright,” he murmured to you, “Just trust me. Ok?”
You pulled back to look into his eyes again, “I trust you.”
He nodded as he pressed his lips together, “Ok,” how Marc sounded nervous, “Stay low. Stay in the shadows. And just get out. You hear me?”
Swallowing hard, you nodded. Then your brain caught up with you, “What about you?”
Marc smirked, “I’ll be alright. Just trust me.”
There was no time for explanations as another crash echoed in the room- they were getting closer. Marc ushered you out of the door and down the hall before he ran in the opposite direction towards the intruders. You glanced over your shoulder at his retreating figure before you made your way down the hall, crouching low and out of sight as you did so. 
As you made your way to the back door, however, you noticed that it was blocked- one of them already made his way there.
“Shit,” you cursed under your breath as you changed direction. Instead, you went up to the roof in hopes of finding a place to hide until Marc did… whatever he was planning to do. 
But that plan also quickly backfired. 
You ran up to the roof and into the open area there, but you were met with yet another thug who blocked the opposite entrance from where you were.
“Well look what we have here,” he said with a dark grin on his face.
Letting out a gasp, you tried to run back where you came from, but another sinister shadowy man blocked that path. “Where do you think you’re going?” he growled.
“Please,” was all you could whimper as you felt them close in on you. 
The men just laughed as they stepped closer, reaching for their guns as they did so. But, before they reached you, one of them was yanked back, slamming into the wall. You looked up and saw the same hooded figure that saved you before swooping down from seemingly nowhere.
More of the thugs appeared from the doorway and they yelled as they pulled out their guns and started to fire on both of you. The hooded figure rushed over to you and wrapped his cloak over both your bodies, shielding you.
You covered your head out of instinct, but as you felt a warm presence, you looked up and found yourself face to face with your linen wrapped savior once more.
“It’s you,” you gasped in relief. The ringing of the guns suddenly sounded distant.
The mask started to peel away on its own, revealing none other than Marc. He breathed your name, “Are you alright?” 
“It’s you!” you sounded stronger that time, in total shock that it was Marc the whole time.
“I told you I wasn’t making fun of you,” he flashed a quick smile before he turned serious again, “I don’t have time to explain now,” he said, “I’m going to fight these guys off. You need to hide somewhere until they’re dealt with. I’ll come find you when it’s safe, I promise.”
The intruders and the guns were more pressing at the moment, so you swallowed and nodded. 
When Marc found an opening, he pushed you towards the door, “Go!” he shouted as he turned back to the intruders and fought them off.
You ran. 
Running on pure instinct, you bolted down the hall and turned a corner into a closet. Luckily, no one was around and you hid yourself well. You crouched in the corner as you listened to the grunts and gunshots in the distance. At one point, you covered your mouth to stifle a scream, suddenly scared for Marc. You fought back tears, swearing to yourself that you wouldn’t cry. 
Just as you squeezed your eyes shut and held your breath, the fighting stopped. Silence filled your ears but you didn’t dare move. Your hands trembled slightly against your face as you strained to hear the one voice that would bring you comfort.
And then you heard it.
Marc called out your name as he stood in the hall, frantically looking for you, “Baby it’s alright. You can come out.”
You let out the breath you held, all your fear escaping with it as you leapt up and out of your hiding spot. Down the hall, you saw Marc standing there, his knighty suit still adorning his body but his face exposed. “Marc,” you breathed in relief as you ran towards him.
“Sweetheart,” he sounded just as relieved as he ran towards you with open arms. 
The two of you crashed together in a messy embrace, emotions getting the better of both of you. He rested a hand on the back of your head while the other pulled you in as close as he possibly could. Tears flowed from your eyes as relief washed over you, yet the pulse of fear still ran through you after everything that happened. Vaguely, you heard Marc whispering soft words of encouragement and reassurance in your ear. 
“Come on,” Marc said, “I’m getting you out of here,” he slid his hand in yours.
“But…” you tried to protest, not wanting to leave any of the artifacts alone.
“It’s ok,” he gave you a soft smile, “They’re dealt with. Right now I want to make sure you’re safe.”
Your heart pounded in your chest as you tried to process everything. So much happened in such a short time, and you weren’t sure how to react to it. Time passed in a daze as you found yourself at Marc’s place, settled comfortably on his couch with a mug of tea in your hands. You felt safe with him, of course, but you felt like you were outside your body.
The two of you talked for what felt like hours. Marc told you everything- all of his secrets that he kept hidden for so long. He promised you that he would always protect you, and he explained why he didn’t tell you before. As he talked, the sound of his voice calmed you, like an embrace of your heart. Your eyes moved from where they stared at the mug to meet his gaze.
“I promise you, baby,” Marc cupped your face, “Nothing’s ever going to happen to you. I’ll keep you safe no matter what.”
Heat rose in your face, and you were sure Marc felt how warm you were. But, as you stared into his eyes, you felt your heart flutter and his charming gleam sent a rush of fresh emotions through you. Without a word, you closed the gap between your bodies, crashing your lips together. Muffled groans echoed between you as you climbed into his lap and Marc instantly helped you closer. Deepening the kiss, you felt a tingle on your skin as you tasted him, and you felt the reverberation of his moan against your body.
“What was that for?” he asked in a whisper, “Not that I’m complaining.”
You smirked against Marc, “I wanted to thank you properly,” you breathed, “With a real kiss this time.”
Marc cupped your face as he gazed into your soul through your eyes, “Baby…” he wrapped his arms around you and pulled you in for another kiss.
This time, it felt different. It was desperate and heated, but there was also the warmth and passion behind it. You moaned into Marc’s lips as you rocked your hips against his. He tightened his grip on you as a rush of need pulsed through his veins, and he couldn’t help the way his cock twitched underneath you.
Breaking away for air, Marc saw the look of wanton need in your eyes, and he knew exactly what you were thinking, “Are you sure about this, sweetheart?” he asked, his voice a low rumble.
You cupped his face, brushed your fingers along his dark curls, “I’m sure,” you whispered as you kissed him again, “I’ve never been more sure of anything in my life,” you paused before you sheepishly added, “I’ve wanted this so so long…”
Marc grinned, his face lighting up, “Then let’s do this right.”
Shifting your bodies, Marc stood up and extended his hand. You eagerly took it and allowed him to lead you over to his bed. Excitement bloomed between you and before you even made it to the bed, your hands were all over each other. Kisses decorated your steps as you each tugged at the other’s clothing until you were bare.
You and Marc crashed into his bed, and he quickly laid overtop of you. He paused for a moment, breathless as he took in the sight of you bare underneath him, “Fuck you are beautiful,” he breathed.
“So are you,” you sighed in pure admiration as you grabbed his face and yanked him in for another kiss, “We can take our time later,” you murmured between kisses, “I need you too bad right now.”
“Fuck,” he groaned as he rocked his length along your folds. It didn’t go unnoticed that you mentioned a next time either… But your moan broke Marc out of that thought, and a shiver ran up his spine as he felt his cock against your pussy, “Wet already,” he smirked.
“Please Marc,” you pleaded. 
“I’ve got you, baby,” he moaned as he lined himself up with your entrance.
Slowly, carefully, Marc pushed himself into you, causing you both to gasp at the same time. You clawed at his arms, holding on for dear life as the slight burn of his cock stretching you out went jolts of pleasure through your body. Fresh tears filled your eyes at the sensation, and you never felt more alive, more pleasure than ever before.
“Marc…”
He groaned your name as he bottomed out inside you, “Fuck,” he breathed. Marc cradled your face as he rocked in and out of you, slowly at first, but the more you moaned the faster he moved, “You’re perfect,” he moaned, “Shit…”
“Fuck… Marc… You feel so good,” you moaned as you saw stars every time his cock slammed into you.
It didn’t take long for you to feel the tingles of your approaching climax. Your legs trembled on either side of Marc’s body as he thrust into you over and over again and you dug your nails into his soft skin as you clung to him. Incoherent praises flowed from his lips as both your moans grew louder and louder as you lost yourselves in each other.
“Marc… I’m…”
“I’ve got you, baby,” Marc repeated his words from earlier.
Skin slapped against skin as Marc felt his own climax apparach. But, he was determined to send you over the edge first, and with just a few more thrusts of his hips, he got what he wanted. With a loud scream, you came hard, crying out his name as wave after wave of pleasure crashed through you. And fuck you had never looked more beautiful to Marc.
He kept up his pace as long as he could, watching the show you put on just for him and savoring every second of it. But, Marc’s eyes started to roll back as he felt his orgasm quickly build, egged on by the way you clenched your inner muscles around his cock. And with a groan of your name, he came right after you, spilling himself into you as he did so.
Marc collapsed on top of you, completely spent. But, after just a few breaths, he shifted himself, pulling out of you with a hiss before he laid next to you. You let out a whine at the loss, but quickly curled yourself up in his embrace as Marc held you close. You closed your eyes as you rested your head on his chest, listening to the pounding of his heartbeat against your ear.
“Marc, I…”
“Shhh,” he gently hushed you, “Just rest now baby,” Marc cradled your head as he placed a soft kiss, “I’ve got you.”
You hummed contently as sleep quickly took you over. Between the excitement, the danger and the rush of emotions, you suddenly found yourself exhausted and in no time you feel sound asleep in Marc’s arms.
Marc stayed awake for some time, listening to the sound of your heavy breaths. He knew exactly what you wanted to say, and as much as he wanted to hear you say those words, he knew it was better to wait. He gave your body one extra squeeze before he whispered to your sleeping form, “You’re safe with me, sweetheart… I love you.” 
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kaiyaamin · 13 days
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Hi, I don't know if you're taking requests, but here's one. Imagine that Bruce somehow ends up becoming a child again and this leaves his children a little desperate for fear of Y/N and Alfred's reaction, and during this time that Bruce stays in his child form one thing becomes very noticeable is that Bruce simply doesn't leave his wife's side (Y/N) and this somehow ends up making the boys, especially Damian, jealous and in the end everything is resolved.
Kisses♡ (by the way, I love your writing and I'm sorry if I'm a little confused, it's because English isn't my first language)
Little Bruce
Bruce Wayne x Y/n (batmom)
"Hey Bruce what does this do?", Here we go again Jason decided to use another machine zapping it accidentally at Bruce. " Jason, Why do you always do this didn't you learn from the age swap machine", Dick scold Jason again.
Dad are you okay, Tim said reaching towards the the oversized clothes that were on the floor. "Hi", A little boy suddenly came out of the clothes and waved.
immediately the boys started screaming and panicking. " oh no, what are Mom and Alfred going to say?", Tim said fearing for their reaction, already imagining it. "That's what you worried about not that he's butt-naked", Jason said covering his eyes, no one should ever see their dad naked.
"It's your fault stupid", Damian said looking shocked at his father being a child. "Okay, everyone calm down one of us has to tell Mom and Alfred so I vote for Jason", Dick said holding Bruce in his arms. Both Damian and Tim were okay with it, "why me?", Jason whined complaining how it wasn't fair but all he got was Are you kidding me looks from his brothers and even little Bruce.
Time skip
"Hey, kids and extra kid- who is that"? Y/n stared at her kids in shock counting them and making sure she wasn't seeing things. Wait a second that child looks like Bruce. " Mom please don't be mad but I accidentally zap Bruce to a little kid", Jason finishes saying in one breath, waiting to see his mother's reaction.
Alfred was so shocked he dropped a teacup, looking at Bruce reminding him of the past. "WHAT!, you all are grounded for 1 month", Y/n said angrily taking little Bruce out of Dick's arms.
The kids started to help more with taking care of little Bruce. But no matter what he didn't leave Y/n side always hugging her or holding her hand. Little Bruce wouldn't even sleep in the spare bedroom instead slept in his and Y/n rooms.
if you asked any of the boys who were upset with this change they would immediately say Damian. Damian was a momma boy who always got along the most with his Ummi.
"Ummi, Little dad/Bruce is staring out at me with hatred, I request if should kick him out", Damian said glaring back at the little boy. "Dami, we can't do that, he's just a little boy and your father", Y/n said protesting giving little Bruce a hug.
"Mom, it's kinda weird to call a little kid my father", Jason looking at little Bruce making funny faces at him and making him laugh. One thing for sure little Bruce was much happier than adult Bruce. "I guess you're right, it is kinda weird calling him my husband as well", Y/n said side eyeing little Bruce.
While Y/n looked for a doctor to make little Bruce into an adult Bruce, the kids babysat little Bruce. Jason was in charge of entertainment, making sure Bruce was happy because nobody wanted to deal with a crying Bruce. Alfred as usual was in charge of the meals having to expand his cooking to fit Master Little Bruce's appetite. Dick made sure to clean all the messes even the toilets to help Alfred. Tim Made sure little Bruce took his daily naps, reading stories to him, leading to Tim falling asleep. Damian all together decided not to help, because of his strong dislike towards little Bruce.
Y/n had found out about Damian's jealousy towards little Bruce. " Damian I promised you will never be replaced by anyone", Y/n said putting her pinky out for a pinky promise. what surprised me was all her kids felt like this as well, even though they didn't show. "kids I didn't mean to make you feel as if you were being replaced, come on let's hug this out." Y/n even made Alfred join in the hug.
Y/n did end up finding a doctor/mad scientist and he was able to fix Bruce. But the kids decided to take pictures and videos of little Bruce to use as leverage against adult Bruce.
"So what happened when I was Little Bruce, you guys seemed to call me", Bruce said lying in bed and hugging his wife while reading a book. It's a long story I will tell you tomorrow but heads up the kids took embarrassing photos of you when you were little Bruce", Y/n covering herself in the covers. " Oh man", Bruce said slapping his forehead and sighing deeply, while Y/n laughed at his reaction. "I missed you Y/n", Bruce said kissing her lips. "I missed you too little Bruce", Y/n said letting go of the kiss with a teasing grin.
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scientia-rex · 10 days
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Long ask. I didn't see that you had answered anything similar.
How do I do activism? Yes, I could Google it, but I would rather learn from a stranger with claimed yet unverifiable experience on Tumblr than from a stranger with claimed yet unverifiable experience anywhere else, and I'm here and so are you and we can talk and have a [para]social interaction. I won't bore you with a condensed autobiography, but I have a lot of experience fixing mistakes, not unlike being a physician, but far less noble, what David Graber would call a "duct-taper". It's partly what led me to socialism. I fixed mistakes but could not fix the root causes and, when I investigated those causes, I ran into structure. I couldn't explain the human behavior I witnessed as human nature, because it wasn't my nature and, as far as I know, I'm human, so the only explanation I could come up with was that the structure of the company I worked for created the problems I was trying to solve, and I had no power to change that structure, and no desire to join the psychopaths failing up the corporate ladder. I expanded my thinking outward and saw the problem inherent in capitalism and all the associated -isms and -archies, all the while trying to figure out what I could do that could possibly change any of it. I dove into progressive politics, read theory, consumed all the lefty content I could find, and thought, and keep running into the same problems. But even if the root causes cannot be addressed, the effects still need to be, because the effects are people, hence activism.
How do I talk to congresspeople? I email them about issues, but am frankly afraid to call them. Shall I get voice mail, or does a person pick up? If the latter, I'm assuming it will be a secretary. I don't want to be mean to a person answering phones. I've been one of those people getting yelled at or threatened because of events I did not cause and could not possibly prevent or change and, maybe I'm oversensitive or have PTSD or just a hyperactive amygdala, but I cannot overstate the damage those negative experiences cause. Sure, in the grand scheme of things, the lives that can be saved or improved outweigh a few people's hurt feelings or possible psychological trauma, but I would prefer not to turn this into a trolley problem if at all possible. Maybe it's a stupid question. Maybe I'm overthinking it. I can be charming and I have no lack of empathy; I can politely disagree. Shall I have to argue with anyone? Or is it a thank-you-for-your-participation-I-will-tell-the-congressperson-have-a-nice-day situation?
How do I get a job doing good things for people? This is somewhat pressing as I quit my corporate job five years ago, to have what turned out to be a midlife crisis, and have been living off savings (that are running out) ever since. I want to help and don't want to be ashamed of what I do for a living. I've always been able to do anything I've ever tried to do, but I'm 45 with little formal education or qualifications, and am thinking it's maybe too late to go back to school. Most of the non-profits I see seem like little more than scams. And perhaps the most serious complication: I'm a loner, more out of habit than inclination. I'll spare you the background, but I have no connections and no idea how to make them, and I don't believe I have any particular skills so valuable that should confer an immediate advantage or demand for my labor, but then again I don't know what is in demand.
It's OK if you can't answer some of these things. I simply have no one to talk to about them who can give any actual advice and figured you might. Thanks.
How to do activism: The first thing you need to know is your axe to grind. It was easy for me. I've been out since I was 13, nobody ever believes a girl is bisexual, it's always "you want attention" or "you're secretly a lesbian." That was in 1997. I went through hell and I'm bitter about it. So when I realized I liked medicine, I realized I could turn my life into an extended revenge arc by moving home and telling everybody it's OK to be gay. Two birds, one stone. I work with a woman who didn't get her axe to grind until about three years ago. She realized she was fed up with people abandoning dogs. She's one of the most active volunteers at the local shelter now. She's saved a lot of dogs' lives. She didn't start out knowing anything about it, but she told the shelter she wanted to volunteer, and they've helped her grow through the rest of it. My husband works with the local food bank, because his mom's neighbor (who is a family friend and sweetheart) wrangled him in to serving on the board, so now in addition to board meetings once a month he goes in sometimes to do things like help his mom's friend unload trucks. Sometimes the cause picks you, sometimes you pick the cause, sometimes you are the cause. And no matter what the cause is, someone else is already working on it. Someone else already cares deeply and if you show up ready to be hands on and help out, with humility because you know that you don't know everything, they will help you learn how to be effective. I started out in medicine by volunteering at the emergency room near where I lived. I pushed a linen cart around and restocked gowns in rooms, and when I couldn't fit any more washcloths into drawers I cleaned doorknobs. One of the nurses once told me she really appreciated that I cleaned all the doorknobs, because it wasn't getting regularly done. I am in medicine now because of many, many people I asked for help and who helped me because they wanted to contribute to justice and equity in medicine, whether for queers or rural people or women. This is, and has always been, a combined effort. Alone we beg, together we bargain.
Calling elected representatives: Oh god I know, me too, calling strangers is the LITERAL WORST. I'm 40 and I'd rather pepper-spray myself than argue with a human on the phone. Wait until after hours and you'll get a voicemail. I like to leave voicemails that start with "My name is Dr. Rex, I'm a constituent of yours, and I VOTE, and I'm calling about ____." That's honestly about all it takes--when I was hanging out with the lobbyist she told me they keep lists with tick-marks for how many calls, emails, etc., they get on a topic. Calls count for more. The more effort you have to put in, the more engaged they know you are. So call, but if people scare you (and the people who pick up are almost always nice, if you do get a person, and they will 99/100 times say "thank you for your call, we will pass your concerns along to so-and-so"), call at night.
Going back to school is probably unnecessary. Spin your past experience aggressively and start applying to nonprofits. (You "took time off from the working world in order to sharpen your focus on what matters most to you," which will be whatever this particular group does.) It's OK if you pick a bad one to start with; most of them are shit-shows, and lots of them still accomplish good things. Nonprofits are a bloodbath when it comes to actually being an employee--they know that part of the compensation is the sense of living ethically and they will use your altruism against you--so keep your resume updated and be prepared to bail if grant funding doesn't come through, but most areas have food banks and pet shelters and human shelters and jails and medical clinics and hospitals (for every doctor who works at the local hospital there are at least 10 support staff by the numbers, and they are utterly critical and always under-staffed). Sometimes if you start by volunteering somewhere, once they realize you're dependable, you can get a job there. I am zero percent kidding about working for a hospital, clinic, or jail, by the way. Those are places I know well, and there are always civilian jobs available. You want to make a patient's day better? Be the front desk, front line staff who use the right pronouns and cheer them up.
I think it's completely reasonable to have procedural questions about how all of this works, and I am grateful to you for giving me a chance to talk about it a bit. Please feel free to ask any follow-up questions. And for reference, when I was just starting out in research at a time when the market for research-trained people frankly sucked, I applied well over 300 times and got well over 300 rejections (I was counting) before I ended up with a job that I loved (even though it was hellishly stressful and I made just barely more than minimum wage for working well over my alleged, salaried "hours") and felt like I was making a positive difference for the world with. And from there, I kept making changes as I realized what I wanted and needed. Just keep doing it. You don't have to feel good about every step, you don't have to know what you're doing, just keep putting one foot in front of the other as you try to figure out what will make you happy. Because nothing else is a good proxy for happiness, and happiness, for a whole lot of humans, means finding something meaningful to do in life. Helping others. Be okay with changing, be okay with sacrificing who you are right now for the sake of who you can become. You've survived four decades on this bizarre and cruel planet, and you have inherent, intrinsic worth as a human being. You deserve your own kindness.
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freyito · 6 months
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I'm in that 'damn I'm too feminine guess I'll die' phase right now, pretty sure it happens monthly, so, I was wondering if I could ask for Liu Kang with a ftm reader who's normally happy just crashing down one day, specifically because they think they're too feminine for people to perceive them as a guy?
Thank you for writing such amazing stuff btw!! :D
anon, you saved me. you SAVED ME. ive been in such a mood and ive been wanting to write something comforting!!! but i havent been able to think of a prompt and i didnt really have the energy for anything in my inbox. and then you BLESSED me with this absolute banger of a request oh em gee.
and don't worry, you're not alone either anon, im also lowkey goin thru it. twinsies!!!! letting you know, from a very feminine (androgynous, but apparently i seem fem aligned) trans man, its okay to feel this. there really is no definition to masculinity and you are a man regardless of what people say!
added some bonus characters for myyyy self indulgence if you don't mind
cw: male reader, ftm, just fluff, implied romantic relationships w/ all, proofread
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ʟɪᴜ ᴋᴀɴɢ (ᴀɴᴅ ʙᴏɴᴜꜱᴇꜱ) + ɪɴꜱᴇᴄᴜʀᴇ ꜰᴛᴍ ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ
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-Liu Kang...
is almost disheartened at the sudden change of behavior. Just the other day you had been so vibrant, bringing color, a certain tone to the world. Something even he didn't think was possible. When he had met you, he was smitten. With your positivity, your optimism, and above all else, you.
To find you, quiet, sullen, hiding from him, it was heartbreaking. The absence of your voice and your light was something that very clearly rubbed off on him.
Finding out you've broken because you do not feel yourself, because you cannot look in the mirror without seeing the man you aren't, it fills him with sorrow. Because, he sees you as a man, regardless. He always will, and it will never change.
To be honest, he's quite unsure how to comfort you. He's by your side, reassuring you that you are masculine, that he and many, many others see you as a man. And he wants to make sure you see that. The best he can be is sympathetic, it hurts that he can't necessarily understand you on a deeper level.
However, that does not change how he sees you. Nothing defines masculinity, nor what makes a man in his eyes. Even as a god, he believes there really is no definition to anything, aside from what you make it.
He lets you know exactly that. There is nothing in the world that could change his mind, no insecurity- no matter how big- you find will ever change his view of you.
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-Kuai Liang...
originally thinks you are playing a game with him. So suddenly, you disappear. He looks for his sunshine around every corner, every closet, any possible hiding place he can think of. You are the light of his life, your shining brilliance cannot be matched.
So when he finds you sulking in your room, hiding, back turned from him and the world, suddenly concern eclipses his light. The pit in his stomach forms, ever expanding with worry.
Hiding because you do not see yourself as... yourself. You can almost hear his heart shatter. You are afraid other people see this, too. That you are not a man in anyone's eyes.
At first, he believes someone had put this through your head. Someone had told you this, had made you feel this way. And the fire burned within him, something telling him to find whoever had said this to you. Yet, when he finds out it is simply you perceiving everyone else's looks towards you like this, his mind slows down.
Kuai insists you are wrong. His usually calm temper replaced by him adamantly denying that you are seen as anything else. You are a man, regardless. He has never seen you as anything else but one.
Knowing you put yourself down this this claws at him, he partially feels guilty. But he puts in the effort to make you feel exactly like who you are, to bring your radiant light back into his life again.
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-Johnny Cage...
can't stand loosing your positivity, your light is an ever-burning warmth that keeps him rather grounded, despite his wit and charm.
He's plunged into sudden darkness when he wakes up to you with your back turned to him, pushed as far away as possible at the edge of the bed. In an instant, it feels like his whole world is ripped away from him.
But, he's determined to make sure it isn't, and he begins with the questioning almost immediately. This was the quickest you've ever seen him wake up. And to find the reason you've pushed yourself away from him is because you don't see yourself how he sees you, and that you are ashamed- no, no. He can't have that.
Johnny cuts you off immediately, showering you and pampering you with affirmations. He does not allow you any room to let your mind twist your identity. He makes it known that you are a man, he sees you as a man, everyone sees you as a man.
He's serious, too. All traces of the signature Cage tone are wiped out, his voice soft, yet heavy. He doesn't let you, not even for a second, get back into your dysphoric mind-space. He tries, real hard, anyways.
Johnny only lets up when he finally sees even a potential smile on your face. And once he's so sure he's affirmed your gender,- and you've affirmed yourself- he's back to his over-the-top persona, bathed in wit and perhaps even a little bit of pride.
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© freyito, 2023 | masterlist | queue | kofi DO NOT REPOST AS YOUR OWN OR USE FOR AI/AI CHATBOTS.
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desire-mona · 1 month
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this most definitely isnt an original thought and i've probably heard it on a podcast before but. i am so married to todd's sweaty tooth madman poem being a metaphor for not accepting being gay.
so here's me picking the whole thing apart (and not proofreading anything)
so starting with
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the sweaty toothed madman of course being walt whitman, who we all know is (at least rumoured to be) gay. now the interpretation of whitman being a metaphor for todd's sexuality is nothing new, but i'd like to expand on it.
"i close my eyes and this image floats beside me"
i see this as any moment todd has to himself, no matter where he is, he is reminded whitman/ the fact that he's gay. the specific usage of closing your eyes to mean that the image/ reminder is always there, always following. i see the use of the words "beside me" in a couple different ways. either to suggest that the reminder is just out of view, being pushed away just enough to not be the main focus and more something you see in your peripheral, or in a 3rd person perspective, seeing todd and the imagery of walt beside eachother, coinciding with eachother. i could see both interpretations working equally as well, or even comined.
"the sweaty-toothed madman with a stare that pounds my brain"
THIS LINE. i loooove his use of sweaty toothed!!!!!
if you're not sure what sweaty toothed means, it just kinda means ur teeth r. wet. drooly mouth. i see this madman being sweaty toothed to mean that he's "hungry", not literally, but more desiring something. this being truth, which i'll get into later.
the stare that pounds my brain. oh man. ok so obviously this means that the image/ thought is intimidating, terrifying, threatening. the implication that todd being gay is as much of a threat to his life/ wellbeing as a madman that has it out for him, both ideas causing him an insane amount of stress.
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this line is fairly simple to me, the reminder goes from something that terrifies you but ultimately can go unacknowledged, to a constant, overbearing thought that suffocates you enough that you HAVE to face it in some way or another. todd is facing it fearfully, letting it take control of him and how he acts rather than tackling the idea himself. he is defenseless against this part of him
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truth (ur gay)
todd thinkin this truth will leave him unsatisfied in life :-( not only in the love sense tho! with his family too, if they find out god forbid, theyll surely view him differently and cast him off even farther than they already do. i also like to think this is him lowkey complaining that the blankets at welton are too small.
this also, devastatingly enough, reminds me of the bit from rocketman where elton comes out to his mom.
clip from rocketman (2019)
and he's mumbling. he's mumbling! this truth is still cloudy, not full realised, still being pushed away. whitman wants the truth, todd wants the truth, but he's still not ready, everything's still uncertain. this uncertain truth could also pertain to todd's feelings toward neil specifically, but i dont think that was the intention. todd does exist as his own person!
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this ones simple again. you can fight off your feelings and sexuality all you want but it still wont really lead you anywhere you wanna be. you either end up marrying someone you dont love (women), or you end up alone. also the heavy emphasis on physical violence toward the Truth Blanket could be a metaphor for the physical danger todd would be in if anyone found out, but im not hellbent on that idea.
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god. "from the moment we enter crying, to the moment we leave dying," is a BEAUTIFUL way to convey "your entire life" todd you have such a way with words. anyway. i take this as something like. this is something you're born with and cant change, todd was born gay, obviously, and it will never go away with any amount of effort. hence the wailing, crying, and screaming.
also i view the specific line of "it will just cover your face" in a couple different ways. either to mean this truth will suffocate you no matter what you do, or this truth will leave you needing to hide major parts of yourself from the world.
this got a bit repetitive, i apologise. but i still have more to say.
some parts of this poem i find to be a bit too wordy to have been come up with on the spot. do i think todd is talented enough to do so? absolutely! but i just dont think that's the case. i have no doubt in my mind that a LOT of what he said in front of the class was either already on his mind, or was written down beforehand but eventually scrapped.
specifics i have in mind are the concepts of a sweaty toothed madman and a blanket that leaves your feet cold. i dont think this sweaty toothed madman was written specifically with whitman in mind, i think it was just a vessel for his anxiety generally. but the blanket i just KNOW was thought out and written down with the intention to like. be a metaphor for being unsatisfied.
and that only makes the class laughing at that line that much worse, no wonder he wanted to stop! not only was todd incredibly brave for continuing after, but keating was unimaginably quick to get the focus back to the poem. he knew that metaphor meant something to todd, and choosing to expand on that was actually an amazing way to drive that home.
either way, todd's far more brave than i ever could be. i'd be shitting myself up there.
also if u disagree with any of these points are wanna add anything then TELL MEEEE!!! art is anything but subjective and i looove seeing how you guys view things like this.
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satansapostle6 · 4 months
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Josh Futturman has always had a crush on his beautiful coworker, the sharp, sexy scientist he thought he could only dream of talking to.
Warnings: Mature themes/language. Smut. Oral(M receiving.) Praise kink. Semi public. Overstimulation. Slight dacryphilia.
Part Eight
Part Nine: A Family Affair
Josh and Brynne quietly left his room for dinner after what they had been doing. Josh Futturman was horrified as he realized his Uncle Barry had been waiting to use the upstairs bathroom after the two of them, and was now just standing in the hallway, bottle still in hand, signaling to them that he had planned to take it into the bathroom with him.
“Should’ve been me,” Barry said through a belch as Josh made a face, quickly hurrying Brynne downstairs with the rest of the guests.
Once they came down the stairs, Josh saw his mom, about to look for his dad in the kitchen.
“Mom,” Josh said finally, as Brynne stood behind him.
She didn’t seem upset at all.
“What is it, honey?”
“Mom, I’m really sorry about the way I talked to you earlier,” he apologized sadly, “That was so mean, and I shouldn’t have said anything. You were trying to help, and I was just being an asshole.”
“Oh, Joshy, you know I forgive you,” his mother sighed, wrapping him up in a hug, “I know you didn’t mean it. Besides. I know you feel kind of frustrated about still living at home, you were bound to tell your parents to fuck off at some point,” she gave his cheek a playful pinch.
“Still, Mom. I’d never let anyone talk to you like that. Especially not me,” he said guiltily.
“Oh… My sweet little Joshy,” Diane beamed. “We’re family; I forgive you.”
“I love you, Mom,” he told her.
“You’re so sweet, Joshy. I love you, too,” she smiled, turning to Brynne. “Why don’t you two have a seat with everyone else? Dinner will be ready in a minute.”
“Okay,” Josh agreed.
He took the empty seat next to where his mother would be sitting, as Brynne sat down with him.
“Why don’t you sit next to me?” Barry suggested with a grin, sitting in the empty seat next to her.
Brynne just looked at Josh, who seemed less than comfortable with this arrangement.
“Uncle Barry…” he warned, just as his father entered the room.
“Oh, Josh, Brynne, there you are,” Gabe nodded. “You want some appetizers? It’s Brie, and cranberry.”
“Yes, please,” Brynne said eagerly, taking one off of the plate he held out to them. “That sounds delicious.”
“Thanks, Dad,” Josh nodded.
“Hope you washed your hands first,” Barry Futturman cut in, already starting to once again create a weird energy in the room.
Josh looked at him in disbelief, trying his hardest to ignore the inappropriate comment as he ate with everyone else. Luckily, neither of his parents seemed to pick up on what his uncle had meant by that. As dinner continued, Brynne and Josh both did their best to keep the conversation running as smoothly as possible. But inevitably, there were a few considerable obstacles.
“You know, Brynne, Julius works for a company that does DNA testing,” Diane informed her with a smile.
“Oh, that’s cool,” Brynne smiled, “I think it’s great that people can really expand their knowledge of their ancestry these days.”
“Right?” Melinda agreed. “We found out about so many cousins we had no idea we even had!”
As the dinner carried on, slowly becoming more boring, Josh looked to his left at Brynne, pleasantly surprised to see that she’d been looking at him, and only him, the entire time. She smiled softly, almost uncharacteristically, and Josh was putty in her hands. He smiled back, smitten with her.
He chuckled nervously as he felt her fingers creeping into his hand, gradually taking it in hers. The way he held her hand under the table in front of his entire family felt strangely innocent, and wholesome. It was a perfect way to spend his Christmas Eve.
It must’ve been another twenty minutes of the two of them enjoying each other’s company in silence before he realized she was still holding his hand. Josh noticed that Brynne grimaced as Barry tried to scoot his chair even closer to hers, looking her up and down as he did.
“Excuse me, I’m gonna go to the bathroom,” Brynne stood suddenly, startling Josh a bit.
Everyone else just smiled in response to her as she left the table. Josh sat there for a moment, conflicted. He knew his Uncle Barry had made her feel beyond uncomfortable, but he didn’t know whether she wanted space or comfort. Deciding he wanted to at least be chivalrous, Josh got up to follow her.
He knocked softly on the bathroom door, the knuckles of his middle and index finger making a quiet sound. Brynne heard the knock, and at first assumed it was a woman knocking.
“Hey, Brynne? You okay in there?” Josh asked, cursing himself as he hoped she wouldn’t take it the wrong way.
All of a sudden, the door opened, and he saw her standing there, not looking upset at all. He couldn’t place the way she was looking at him.
“Come in,” she told him.
“Uh, okay,” he stammered, entering the small bathroom as she closed the door. “So, what’s up? Are you alright?” he asked worriedly.
“Yeah, I’m fine,” she promised. “I just never got to thank you for… earlier.”
“Oh,” he realized, feeling stupid. “Uh, yeah… any time.”
While he wasn’t sure that was the most appropriate response, he knew he at least meant it wholeheartedly.
“You want me to return the favor?”
“Sorry, what?” he asked, once again blown away.
Little did he know, tonight, that would become more than a figure of speech.
“I said…” she smirked, impatiently dropping to the floor. “You want me to return the favor?” she asked quietly, looking up at him with hungry wide eyed.
“Oh, fuck,” he laughed nervously, “That’s what you meant.”
“We don’t have to if you don’t want to,” she clarified. “I just think you deserve a nice reward after the way you made me come.”
“No, no, I definitely want to,” Josh assured her. “I’d love that. So much.”
“Is this okay, then?” she asked, her hands gently sliding up his clothed thighs.
“Fuck yes,” he nodded, watching her intently.
Knowing the power she held, Brynne unbuttoned his pants with care, dropping them to the floor in front of her as she looked at his boxers.
“Batman,” she remarked, sounding pleased.
Josh frantically tried to find an explanation. “Sorry, I didn’t know anyone else would be seeing them—”
“Shh, it’s okay,” she purred, still staring up at him. “Just relax for me, baby.”
He let out an involuntary whine as her hand softly grabbed at his growing bulge.
“My goodness, you’re this hard already?”
“Yeah,” he gulped, “You’re just so beautiful, and you’re looking at me like that—”
“I’m gonna take such good care of you,” Brynne cooed, “Okay?”
“Okay,” he whimpered, choking on a lump in his throat.
Josh grabbed onto the towel rack in a panic, feeling all the blood in his body rushing to one place.
“I’m gonna take these off, okay?”
“Okay,” he nodded, loving the way she spoke to him.
She slid his boxers down, allowing his growing erection to spring free.
“Aw, so pretty, baby,” she gushed.
“Fuck, thank you!” Josh sighed happily, throwing his head back as she began to wrap her hand around it.
He was throbbing for her already, and he was still feeling somewhat embarrassed and shy.
“Hmm. Hold on,” she said as she rose to her feet. “You wanna help me out?”
“How?” he asked automatically.
She smiled, cupping his face with her right hand.
“You wanna help me get my fingers wet?”
“Mhm,” he begged, bobbing his head up and down.
“Okay. Open?”
He obliged, opening his mouth softly as he looked to her for instruction. He was like a doll, willing to be put in any position she desired. She slid her middle and index fingers into his mouth, watching with delight as he lightly cupped his hand around her wrist, bobbing his head up and down as he took her fingers in his mouth.
“Is this good?”
“Perfect, sweetheart,” she encouraged affectionately.
He finished thoroughly wetting her fingers, looking at her desperately as she popped her thumb into his mouth, admiring him as he suckled on her thumb. It drove her crazy how needy and excitable he was.
“Aw, look at that. Who’s a dumb little bunny?”
“I’m a dumb little bunny!” he blurted out, then realizing how desperate he sounded.
She sank to her knees again as he watched her in suspense, hanging onto her every word.
“Aw, lookit. Leaking already?” she asked calmly. “Look at you, baby, you’re dripping. What a messy boy.”
“I’m sorry,” Josh whined impatiently.
“Don’t be sorry… Here. Lemme taste you…”
He gasped out loud as she licked a circle around his pink tip, both impressed and horrified at the sounds she could pull from him. The way she was able to stimulate him was like nothing he’d ever felt before. Leaning against the bathroom wall, he threw his head back in surprise, seeing black spots on the ceiling as he tried not to let his knees buckle.
“F-Fuck,” he moaned.
“You’re delicious, baby,” Brynne looked up at him. “Oh… Your eyes watering?”
“Fuck!”
That was all he could say at the moment. Both of Josh’s hands were laid flat on the wall, as he tried to catch himself. She noticed that as he looked back down at her, his eyes were watering. He looked like a mess.
“Oh, you’re a mess, baby. Do you wanna stop?”
“No!” he blurted out. “No, keep going, please.”
“Okay. You’ll tell me if you need me to stop?”
“Yes,” he promised with a quick nod.
“Okay. Good boy.”
He nearly melted at her praise, holding on for dear life as she slowly took him into her mouth, hearing him whine helplessly as she swallowed his entire length.
“Fuck! Feels so good,” he moaned.
She bobbed her head up and down, starting to pick up the pace. He gasped loudly, his hand slowly smoothing over her hair for her as she sucked him off. He finally felt that it was okay to touch her, neatly moving her hair out of her face. He groaned as quietly as he could, trying to keep his volume down. It became increasingly hard, as did he.
Josh sobbed quietly as he bottomed out again and again, instinctively giving a light thrust, desperate for release. He couldn’t contain his excitement, and breathed out shakily as he felt his dick twitch inside her mouth. Giving up and allowing the tears to flow, he mumbled nonsense as she took him in her fist, going up and down faster and faster as she sucked on his tip.
“Please! I’m gonna come,” Josh whined. “I’m gonna come!”
He started to cry even more as he looked down at her, looking into her deep brown eyes.
“You’re so good to me, fuck,” he groaned. “I don’t know why you even like me… You’re a fucking goddess!”
He grabbed ahold of the towel rack as he felt himself trembling with indescribable pleasure. He quickly grabbed a small towel and shoved part of it into his mouth, muffling his whines and screams as best as he could. He’d never came like this before in his life.
Everything was a blur as he finally felt himself release into her mouth, looking down at her in shock as she allowed him to fill her mouth, still sucking on his tip as she wet his dick. He cried softly as he threw his head back, whispering curses as he finished.
“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” he whispered. “Feels so good…”
She swallowed, smiling up at him as he wiped his tears away, dropping down to his knees. Surprised by the sudden movement, she collected his head onto her lap, brushing his hair to the side as he sobbed onto her dress. He let out a few grateful choked, rubbing his face into her lap as she played with his hair.
“Shhhhh. You’re okay, baby,” she promised him. “You’re okay. Let it all out.”
He let out the last few sniffles as he threw his arms around her, his face between her soft breasts as he whimpered.
“Felt so good,” he mumbled.
“I know. Just relax,” she murmured as he stuck his face between her breasts, softly kissing each one in turn.
His hands pawed at her chest, gently squeezing each breast as he whined impatiently. He watched as she pulled at the straps of her dress, allowing him access as he sucked on each nipple for comfort. It went on for a short while as he soothed himself.
He sat up as Brynne took his face in her hands, softly wiping at the tears with her thumbs.
“You look so pretty when you cry,” she whispered.
“I look pretty?” he asked her.
“Mhm,” she nodded, kissing his lips as she let him lay his head back down on her bare chest. “My pretty boy.”
-
Part Ten
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drdemonprince · 4 months
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thanks for your response to my question about knowing what you want. that's broadly what i've been trying to do, though dealing with long covid and being very conscious of not getting it again makes in-person stuff... tricky. i've been trying to do something nice just for myself for my birthday (in kind of a reclaiming manner, as it was a very much not good day for most of my life) and was completely blanking on the question. (i have a lot of difficulty imagining things i've never done/experienced for some reason.) guess i'll keep on taking baby steps and hopefully figure this out better sometime
It's *very* common for Autistic people to have trouble imagining themselves doing something they have never done before. I once had a HUGE meltdown at the doorsteps of a haunted house because I had no idea what the floorplan would be, when actors would be jumping out at me, how long the experience would be, or anything else to expect. I NEVER went to half of the gay clubs in town until someone I was seeing finally brought me, and I finally learned what to expect of going to a bar on my own. I truly did not conceive that public spaces were "for me" just as much as they were for anyone else. I experienced most of the world as this shadowy, forbidden world that I could not understand and did not have permission to access until pretty recently, in the grand scheme of things. And I certainly felt immensely guilty having a birthday and DARING to want to do anything for it, especially not something everybody would like.
But there is a way out of this! One of the ways is to simply try new things - there is no true self inside of us with hidden true desires and habits that we can just magically find and unlock, rather the self is an active becoming, a process of trying new things that sound appealing or that we simply wish to learn more about, and potentially becoming the type of person that does them (or, conversely, learning something about ourselves in the process if we try something and find we do not like it).
If you cannot imagine yourself experiencing joy, happiness, belonging, you can probably at least be curious about something. This was how I became a furry: I was intrigued by the idea of Furfest, and so I went. I didn't consider myself a furry when I went. I didn't put any pressure on myself to enjoy it or to belong there. I considered myself something of an anthropologist studying a cool subset of human culture when I first attending in 2018. While I was there, I also decided that trying on some antlers in the dealer's den might be interesting. It turned out I liked it, and I grew closer with other people in that community too. Eventually through repeated adventures and trials it became a thing I enjoy. Most of my hobbies and passions have evolved similarly -- I wrote a short story because I was bored, and then years later I had lots of writer friends and a career, I attended a local comedy show because I had nothing to do, and then I tried out for one, and then I was in the comedy scene.
We are what we do, and that means that who we are can always change. It can always expand and deepen. If we cannot currently access much joy or genuine passion, we can find it -- by pursuing new things and taking an interest in life, in whatever ways we can. And of course, if you are Autistic, I do recommend doing research and googling about various spaces and subcultures and social mores in advance, so you know a little bit more of what to expect, which will help the concept of going to crystalize more in your mind. But there's nothing quite like trying it!
Let me know what you decide to try as a birthday adventure for yourself. Good luck!
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lillithhearts · 5 months
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Can I request dating headcanons for Gale, Wyll, Dammon, Rolan, Zevlor, Halsin, and Astarion with gn s/o?
say less!! It's been awhile since I've written headcanons or prompts with multiple people but LETS TRY
Bg3 chars x gn!Tav
warnings: (maybe) Ooc Zevlor,Rolan (I think I have a pretty good grasp on Dammon) not proofread!! Mentions of traumatic backstories
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Zevlor definitely has some self worth issues due to Fall of Elturel and what happened with the Grove he cares deeply for his fellow kin and that care flows into you aswell. He is absolutely infatuated with you and has absolutely no shame showing it or others.
I feel like he's very big on PDA for an odd reason he isn't afraid to tell anyone off and he has a backbone that's for sure, that doesn't mean he's not vulnerable he absolutely is and he feels safest with you as his beloved. He shows his love with physical affection and acts of service in my opinion— cooks you breakfast,lunch and dinner. Plans nice evenings, takes you nice places, whole nine yards— he's also surprisingly big on literature and he writes you poems and tells you the nicest most sweetest things ever. He's a very stubborn man though, so if you're also stubborn it can turn into bickering but never an argument, at the end of the day he just wants to see you smile.
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EXTREMELY cocky, He's like a cat that'll keep eye contact with you when knocking a class off the counter. He does love big nonetheless! A heart of gold and an ego of steel but you love that about him
I think he'd enjoy quality time. Cooking or cleaning together, reading in silence or just holding each other in the morning juicing up for the day.
I also think he's also just absolutely obsessed with his Partner but in a more discreet way, Glances at you after he voices an opinion or telling a joke. Seeing what you'll do and think. Expanding on that he definitely takes what you think to heart at all times and always ask your opinion on anything— food,clothes, decoration how to style his hair so on and so forth
Also a HUGE cuddle bug. Cooking dinner? Hugs you from behind, Sitting on the sofa reading a book? Lays his head in your lap and looks at your gorgeous face, Walking in public? Hand on your lower back.
He's a little cutie patootie
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OUR FAVORITE BLACKSMITH!!
He's actually so adorable and hes definitely into gift giving and physical touch.
He'll make you little trinkets and do-dads from scraps he has left over, You know those metal roses some people make for their partners?? He does that with you and they look absolutely amazing everytime (he buys you normal flowers aswell do not worry)
He's also no stranger to being the small spoon so just hold him sometimes, He's gone through some things with the Grove and the Shadow lands and he has nightmares on occasion when he will wake you up and you of course sit with him until he can rest easy again
He's no surprise to anyone very strong he's a black smith for crying out loud, he's 90% sure he can pick you effortlessly no matter how tall or big you are he will do it. No negotiating about that
He has the cutest puppy dog eyes I mean can you blame him? I'd use those gorgeous eyes to my advantage aswell— he knows you love it and him so whenever he wants something from you he gives you a look anyone could coo at you fall for it everytime
In the city (or in general) he basically drags you around by your hand, he's also 10 steps ahead of you mentally and sometimes physically..at this point get a leash for him
He's still very emotionally intelligent and talking with him about something that bothers you is met with understandment and reassurance while he works on the issue and he expects it vice versa aswell where you happily oblige
He's sweet but he's not a pushover under any circumstances
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The most gentlemen-y of Gentlemen.
Outside of Baldurs gate he will do his best to spoil you with food, flowers and protection— you swear to him you can take care of yourself but he doesn't listen to you
After you enter Baldurs gate however he's going full ex-Noble mode, Fancy dinners, Bouquets and whatever you'd like he's ready to get it for you at the basic snap of your fingers.
Gift giving is his love language, ontop of quality time. You tell him you do not need all of the nice things he gives you but he insists some Noble roots run deep, he often confides in you over his Father and Mizora and the guilt of what he would've potentially done to Karlach still lies in his head despite Karlachs constant reassurance ontop of your own
His favorite thing is honestly to look at you especially your eyes, The glimmer in them after a fight? Or the reflection of the fire from the campfire in your eyes? Absolutely breathtaking in his eyes.
To him you are everything, You're one of the only people he has left and he isn't planning on losing you, has your back if you ever need it. Physical cover in a fight? He's right behind you, someone's giving you shit? He'll defend you with every ounce of his being
Also a man that insists on carrying you anytime you even show an ounce of exhaustion, He might also be one hill away from collapsing but he's your knight in shining armor and you know it
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Sometimes he wonders if you love Tara more than him honestly—
Please give this man some REAL love, pamper him, smother him and reassure him. The roots on Mystras abuse runs DEEP but he doesn't know that but you do.
Despite his very obvious love for you and the care he holds deep in his heart but he cannot help but feel like he's holding you back with the literal ticking bomb he is, everyday he fears it might be his last along with yours unfortunately. He's aware you'd insist on staying with him if his time ever came but he simply can't bring himself to think of you being gone even after he's passed
If you're out alone he asks Tara to keep an eye on you if you're out long that is
He's not insecure but afraid, anxious despite the fact he's one of the men with the least baggage he's worried you think you can do better
his biggest love language I think is physical touch, He wants to feel you, to know you're real and you're his.
If you're useless in the kitchen he does not mind doing all of the cooking and baking as neither do you. He's a powerful and talented culinary wizard, He also just prefers to spend his nights and mornings in your arms just taking a breather and loving you
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Our most beloved spawn :)
Obviously very touchy and handsy but hes also big on words of affirmation and gift giving
He once brought you a head rat as a joke saying it was a gift
He needs someone to match his energy, either by being matching chaotic or laughing at his not so violent antics (or also at his violent antics that's up to you honestly)
He's not all sunshine and rainbows however, the wounds of Cazador will always be part of him and he wants you to know that.
He talks big but he knows he's alot with everything he's gone through and what that made him at the end of everything
He also knows you won't be around forever unlike him and he dreads the day he's alone again
You are his sunshine and he doesn't know where he'd go or who he'd be if you didn't stick with him and he loves you endlessly for your patience and understanding with him.
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Halsin the big bear
Have a fear of bears or dont like em in general?
Ultimate deal breaker, he needs someone to love him for all of him, bear form included
He's a big sweetheart but like Dammon also not gullible or Naive
Definitely big on Marriage with you because he genuinely thinks you are the one and he wishes to never spend a day without you ever again
He becomes less subtle with his advances and flirting the more you date him, and it makes him laugh everytime you give him a knowing look and laugh at him
No matter how not pick up-able you think you are Halsin will throw you over his shoulder
HUGE cuddler anytime you guys aren't actively moving around? BOOM hands on you everywhere. Another man who loves giving loving words
A nightmare? He will whisper sweet nothings into your ear and hold you closely to his chest listening to his steady heart beat
He's also a great cook which he uses to make you some very nice meals
I can also imagine you can ride him in his bear form especially if you're tiny, Cuddling him in his bear form is also not rare between you both
Overall very big nice bear husband
OMG KILL ME I ACCIDENTALLY PUBLISHED THIS BEFORE I WAS DONE THATS SO EMBARRASSING
again I apologize for ooc npcs 😭 hope you enjoyed nonetheless
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feedthefandomfest · 3 months
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I have a question because I want to comment but I feel nervous. It is very foolish but it is seriously something that prevents me from commenting-
So English is not my first language and I suffer from a disease known as 'fuck you all English leaves your brain when you tap on the comment box'. Like I'm fluent enough to write a fic but the comments break me and I can only do basic 'subject verb complement' and forget half my vocabulary because I'm so nervous, so it often ends up being broken English.
I back out of posting comments except 'i love this this is amazing thank you for writing I love it' because I'm too scared the author will take it badly ? Like, what if they find it annoying ? What if they believe I think they write bad English and I'm mocking them and they don't want me to ever read their works ever again ?
Anyways, my question is : Does it actually bother anyone to receive broken English comments? Do people find it annoying ?
I would never be annoyed by such a thing and I'm positive that's true of others as well. On the contrary, it kinda blows my mind whenever I stop to think about how members of fandom for whom English is not their first language are so often working in translation. Like the trickiest barrier I have to contend with when writing anything is sleep deprivation and your average writer's block 😅 so to imagine also rendering those words in a different language?? 🫠
To varying degrees, the tragic disease of "empty comment box = empty brain" can strike anyone, regardless of language. On the plus side, some of the tricks to break through the blankness are also broadly applicable, such as
drawing from a list of sentence starters like the ones offered here or here (the beginner bingo card also has similar tasks!!)
installing this handy script that generates a positive comment on demand, which you can modify or expand on as needed
using the floating comment box to track moments or quotes you want to compliment specifically, even with just a string of emojis 💕💕💕
I can recall a couple comments I've gotten where the person apologized or gave a sort of disclaimer that English wasn't their first language, and honestly it just made me even more appreciative of the comment? Because there are so many reasons that a reader doesn't comment, and a language barrier is the most understandable!! And yet here they are, making me smile with their words. I always want to reassure them in my reply that an apology/disclaimer isn't necessary, but I don't always know how. (And there's nothing wrong with acknowledging something you're self-conscious about, after all.)
The concept of "broken English" has also got me thinking, though... And since it turned into a bit of an essay I'll leave it under the cut. 💛
Because the term "broken English" has a lot to unpack, seeing as it's always unfairly positioned those who speak English as a second language imperfectly as lesser (broken = defective). And that strikes me as a bit ironic, considering the degree to which English is a Frankenstein's monster of a language—this conglomeration of every language it encounters and subsumes. In that sense, English itself is a broken language? Or rather the shards of numerous languages held together with duct tape and gum and a whiff of imperialism. Its usage is always in flux, always evolving as speakers adapt it to new circumstances, and those adaptations become dialects in and of themselves. There is no one English language.
I teach high schoolers, and I'm consistently struck by the growing chasm between the kinds of English I can speak and the kinds of English they can speak. And technically my job is to train them in how to use American Standard English and read literature written in American Standard English, but really I find that pretty limiting.
Take the tone of this response, for instance! The more I've leaned toward trying to articulate these complicated issues of language, the more formal my speech has become. Contrast that with the first paragraph, where I'm trying to get across this awkward earnest admiration for the extra effort required of some fans just to engage in fandom, and so I ended up using more casual phrasing and emojis in a way that (hopefully) conveys a certain warmth and self-deprecating humor and whatnot.
If I were to leave a comment on a fic that blew me away, left me in a state of awe or delight or anguish—just a puddle on the floor—I'd find American Standard English quite lacking. Downright restrictive. The unique jumbled babble of fandom-speak functions on breaking the standard rules in order to evoke an intensity of emotion that meets the demands of the moment.
Another thing about commenters who really commit to throwing the rules out the window in favor of vibes is that I get such a strong sense of personality beaming through. A distinct voice that's generated, an intense impression of there being an individual on the other side with a particular shape. And there's something delightful about that.
...I suppose this is all a very roundabout way of saying that if there's anywhere to just unleash, vocab and mechanics be damned, where it's more than okay to string together whatever words you can in service of how you're feeling, it's the AO3 comment box. 💛
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starshipsofstarlord · 2 years
Text
Bing Bong Bing;
So I’ve seen a bunch of friends fics being written and I thought I’d give it a go so voila enjoy x
Summary - awaking in the middle of the night draws a fear to you, only for your best friend to find out your well kept secret
Pairing - Chandler Bing x Monica’s roommate!Reader
Warnings - dangerous use of frying pans, secret relationships
A racket reverberated from the kitchen, echoing through the hall and there was no doubt someone outside. You couldn’t help but walk out of your room which was next to Monica’s and plod through the living space through the dead of night, all to witness your roommate holding a frying pan suspiciously and Chandler cradling the crown of his head.
“What is going on here?” You groggily asked, screwing your eyebrows up at the situation, not knowing all too well how to intake the scene given the fact that you were still half asleep and wishing to god that all things remained sealed by any lips present. “Don’t tell me you hit Chandler with the pan Mon!”
“No I’m just holding my head for an entirely different reason and Monica hit somebody else on the head with it.” Monica had her arms crossed as she looked between the pair of you, her senses picking up on evidence of panic that was slowly growing from you as you awoke to an understanding state.
“Anything you wanna tell me y/n?” She asked, tucking her weapon of choice behind her elbow as she quirked a brow at you and crossed her arms. You could only imagine how her cooks responded to her but you weren’t ready to give in so easily, she’d have to cook you a little longer.
“I mean if it were Joey at least he wouldn’t be able to lose any more brain cells.” You offered with a sly smile, earning a eye roll from the younger Geller sibling. Chandler huffed, asking if anybody was going to fetch him something to ice his injury with before he walked to the freezer himself.
“About why Chandler was sneaking in at this time y/n? Got any ideas on that?” You bit your bottom lip for a second as you thought before the perfect excuse rang through your brain that hadn’t been rattled by a metal utensil or at least yet. You’d have to remember to leave your key at home if you went over to Chandler and Joeys otherwise you’d be caught red handed all again.
“Um I reckon he snuck in to steal food like he always does.” You shrugged causing Monica to silently turn to your male friend in question to see if that was really the reason.
“I’ve stolen food now to ice the lump that is gonna expand from my scalp.” He gestured to the bag of peas that he was holding to his head. “But yes I came here to get food because I love food, food is beautiful and I never want to spend a second away from food. I can’t sleep without food beside me because I worry about food and if I were in the same apartment as food I’d do the same thing to protect food if someone was trying to break in as Monica just did!” He exasperated breathing heavy from the metaphorical rant that he had just spoken.
“Food loves you too Chan.” You spoke, understanding all that he was putting across and as you had said that a weight was lifted from his very chest. “And food is sorry that Monica hit you with the frying pan.”
“Something tells me we’re not talking about food. I’m a chef and even I’m not this attached to it, I get it. You love him you love her, and you didn’t want anyone to know about this little affair behind closed doors, not even me…”
“Mon come on, it’s not like I didn’t want you to know, your my best friend of course I wanted you to. But-“
“Enjoy your food, I’ll see you guys in the morning.” She put the frying pan on the side and walked to her room leaving you and Chandler alone after the two of you had confessed your love for each other.
“Maybe next time I’ll get a takeaway at my place.” He suggested causing you to laugh as he walked closed and as he did so you grabbed the bag of peas and held them in place for him. “You know she’ll forgive you she’s just mad you didn’t tell her, all with pass and you’ll be as tight as magnets again.”
“Or as close as that frying pan was on your head.”
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ronearoundblindly · 1 year
Note
If its ok what if
Lloyd hansen x reader x steve rogers
🥵 smutt
ya know, it took me a loooong time--this ask is from september--to come up with something, but today's the day apparently! And, AND! The lovely @darsynia made me an awesome graphic whilst I wrote all this filth! Thank you, bestie!!! WC 3.3k
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Warnings for oh fuck these two are terrors, smut, goddamn fighting (obviously, bc they can't get along in any universe), possibly the worst fucking puns ever and I no longer care, terrible/inaccurate/but very mild dom/sub vibes, not much but knife play. Please note that this work does not involve the two men together. Alternate title: Ro is 1,000% [nope, better make it 1,000,000%] going to hell. MINORS DNI. 18+ ONLY. There is plenty for you to read on my Light Masterlist, but this is not for you!
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You can tell Steve is about to crawl out of his skin as the knife touches yours.
"You buy these pretty things for me?" Lloyd coos, tucking the point of his switchblade beneath a lacy seam. He knows damn well the navy set with bright red hearts is not for his enjoyment at all, so he turns his head to stare at your husband.
"Useless," Lloyd growls, flicking his wrist deftly.
The sliced fabric springs back to reveal your thatch of hair. You have no idea whether Lloyd was talking about your panties or Steve, and frankly, you're too turned on to care. There’s a certain amount of goading you expected aimed at the awkward hunk leaning on the far wall.
Steve clenches his arms tighter across his chest and sucks in a breath, eyes darting to your skin in case Lloyd drew blood, but his gaze lingers at your almost exposed core.
He hates this whole idea, but you have tried talking to him so many times about how to make sex more interesting. Steve can't stand to even listen to the words much less do what you want. This is the compromise.
Lloyd Hansen will do anyone for the right price, and sure, usually, that's killing, but who doesn't love a good fuck? Who wouldn't get half-hard just thinking about taking Captain America's wife to pound town right in front of the guy?
Lloyd simply smirks, returning his eyes to you and nudging the lace a little farther. The flat of the blade on your mound feels cold and so fucking dangerous that you shiver, neck tensing to throw your head back.
"How's that feel, pumpkin?"
"Golden," you whine, mewling when he nicks the other end and pulls your panties off. Lloyd doesn't like safe words and shit, but he agreed to a few check-ins, and you do have a way to stop him because, let's face it, the money is the real goal for him. The rest is gravy.
Lloyd stalks over to Steve's corner of the room, lifting the ruined garment for the other to take. "A souvenir--" he chuckles "--what's that smell like to you, huh, big man?"
Steve grimaces, unmoving, so Lloyd shoves your panties in his face.
"Smells like team spirit to me."
You should laugh. You really should. You should not fucking moan when you see Steve's chest expand and his eyes flutter shut briefly. You should not have such a surge of tingling heat race to your center that your thighs slam together.
But you do. And Lloyd notices.
"This is gonna be fun," he whispers, likely to himself, as he drops the fabric and walks over again.
His fingertips slide from your knee up your thigh, and Lloyd bends to nip at your neck.
"Lie back from me, sweetheart. Go on."
You have to cover a squeak while you flop onto the mattress. This sort of dominance is nothing like Steve Rogers even on his most confident day. Steve is always measured and a little tentative, his force reined in to the point of being boring after so many years. This is all flush and feral with the promise of oblivion, and in the strangest way, you still associate every second as with Steve, not Lloyd Hansen. The exercise in trust--the sheer fact that he was willing to entertain this idea, much less the practice--is a show of devotion from Steve you never thought possible.
And then Lloyd kneels down and pushes your legs apart. "Open up for me. That's it. Good girl."
"Ah fuck," you moan into your hand, and thank god if Steve does hear you, he doesn't say a thing.
Lloyd skips finesse and plunges into the dirty end of the pool by licking all the way up and down your cunt, hands spreading your ass to expose every bit of you to him, and he pauses to speak with his mouth against your clit.
"Do I need to give him a lesson or can I just fucking taste you?"
"I know how to--" but Steve's protest dies behind the noise Lloyd makes sloppily eating you out like a man starved.
Your legs instinctively wrap around his head, and your hips buck into the wild ride. His mustache burns in the best way. You gasp so much that your throat burns dry, too.
He says other things, things that rumble up your spine and settle deep in your brain, but you can't process what those words are until the white-hot lightning finally cracks your body apart.
Lloyd is shockingly soothing as you come back down from your high but unshockingly smug when he sweeps his face clean of your cum.
"You're doing star-spangled spectacularly for me, slut, now why don't--"
There's a thunderclap of noise that wrenches you out of your bliss. You’re knocked onto your side as Lloyd falls to the floor.
Steve raises his arm again but hesitates when you call his name.
"He doesn't...he doesn't do well with language like that," you manage to say, still fuzzy and out of breath.
Lloyd wipes blood from his nose. "Yeah, I picked up on that. Thanks,” he spits sarcastically, followed by a real spit to clear his mouth. “Down, boy. I'll play nice--" he winks at you as he rises "--but not too nice."
Lloyd climbs back to sit on the edge of the bed beside you, his hand spreading over your throat gently. "Feels good, don't it? Feeling golden?"
You nod vigorously.
He licks more blood from his lip. “Yeah? Can we move on, pumpkin, or is your pussy still needy—“
Lloyd catches Steve's fist this time, jumping up to punch your husband square in the neck.
Steve, to his credit, doesn't even go down, but he drops his arm and steps back, rubbing the point of contact as he wheezes for a minute.
"Can I please continue?" Lloyd screams in annoyance. The man is not in any way used to sharing, or going slow, or giving a flying fuck about anyone in the room for that matter. However, Lloyd is a dedicated professional, so he’ll continue because he knows what’s in it for him. "God damn it,” he barks, spitting at Steve’s feet.
Lloyd takes a beat to compose himself and returns to your side, facing away now, his hand plunging between your legs.
"Time to earn participation points, Golden Boy." Two fingers breach your entrance without warning. "On your knees."
Lloyd snaps his other fingers and points to the ground like he's training a dog to heel.
Slowly, with wide eyes and hesitant steps, Steve places himself exactly as Lloyd did before. He strategically keeps his focus glued to yours until the squelching sound of Lloyd's fingers thrusting in and out of you becomes too loud to ignore.
That look--that fucking moment where your husband sees your core and hunger darkens his whole face--could send you back over the edge right here, but suddenly, Lloyd stops.
"Now we've got his attention," the cruel man laughs.
Like your panties before, there's no ceremony to Lloyd shoving his fingers into Steve's awe-parted lips, but the biggest shock is how your husband doesn't fight the intrusion. No. Steve grabs Lloyd's wrist to keep him there until Steve is done sucking your taste off another man's fingers.
You're pretty sure that's when your soul left your body, but it's a toss-up between that and every other moment tonight.
With more patience than you thought possible, Lloyd waits, comically making an “O” with his mouth and looking at you. “Someone’s eager for the beaver, I see.” He takes the same wet fingers and tucks them between your breasts, snapping the front of your bra sharply against your sternum. 
“Finish unwrapping your present. I wanna see what you got—” and when Steve immediately reaches behind your back for the clasp, Lloyd’s eyebrows bob up and down “—and he’s good at following orders, too.”
Your husband plants a gentle kiss on the swell of one breast before Lloyd stops him, tutting while he holds a fucking knife against Captain America’s chest to sit him back on his heels.
He ticks the blade down. “That’s your half now. This is mine.”
You’re practically panting while Steve’s eyes go hard in possessiveness, locked onto Lloyd in a challenge you don’t quite understand until the fancy man flips the blade back into it’s handle.
“Fine,” Lloyd grouches, tossing the knife farther up the bed. He shuffles closer to face you, a warm hand cupping your breast before he tweaks the nipple harshly. “Why don’t you relax for us, huh, good girl?”
Lloyd coaxes you to lean back again, orders Steve to hold your legs open and tease you, buries painful fingers in your hair, and forces you to watch.
“That’s it. Don’t you want to hear her beg? Doesn’t she sound so sweet? Oh, I like her desperate…”
Not in years has Steve Rogers whispered anything so filthy as the shit that falls from Lloyd’s mouth, but goddamn, every word is like kindling stoking the vigor with which Steve consumes you. You lap up the praise while your husband gulps down every ounce created by every word.
Lloyd lowers to suck and bite all over your chest, marks blossoming across the tender skin as he takes a sort of sweet revenge for his bloody nose. A kink for a kink.
“You want to tell him what’s next,” Lloyd rasps, straining your neck back to look at him in the last few moments before you come again, “or should I?” His devilish smile is the last thing you see before he pushes you to meet Steve’s eyes, the perfect, final flick of tongue rolling over your clit.
Dutifully—sweetly almost—Steve lifts away from you as your legs shake, replacing his face with his fingers to gently bring you down, and Lloyd does not like that. He swats Steve’s hand off to slap your raw bundle of nerves and shove his fingers in again, brutally hitting that spongy spot until the dam of orgasm doesn’t just rupture, it explodes inside you.
You cry out and flail. Lloyd pins you down with a knee to your ribcage, and it hurts but not enough to give a shit over the rush of cum soaking his hand and the sheets below. Steve holds your ankles so you don’t kick him in the face while squirming, transfixed on every move Lloyd makes to milk you stupid.
With one last wet slap, Lloyd rests his hand on your belly and tosses a gelled lock of hair out of his face.
“Wifey here wants to suck you dry,” he boasts, and your hands fly to your face in hot embarrassment.
You confessed that after drinking quite a lot during the ‘negotiation’ of terms for this little arrangement, but only when Steve excused himself to the restroom. Lloyd wasn’t supposed to repeat your fantasy.
“That’s right, big guy. She’s gonna blow your—“ his eyes drop and raise “—mind,” he continues, unpinning you and pushing your arms to the side. He leans down to smear your own slick across your mouth messily, quietly adding, “he won’t even notice I’m right behind you.”
The air rushes out of your lungs before you can stop it, making a downright pathetic sound of anticipation.
“Strip,” Lloyd commands, waving a hand casually at Steve and sauntering over to a bottle of water on the dresser. “The…uh…lady should get on her knees.”
Steve turns to the other wall, unable to meet your eye, bright red blotches spotting his neck and cheeks. He’s embarrassed, too, but from the speed at which he unzips his jeans to relieve his still-straining erection and then pulls his shirt over his head, Steve is also painfully aroused. You even catch him rubbing his cock with each conceivable pass while disrobing. It reignites that weak fire between your tired legs.
“Face up, Captain. Give ‘er some room,” Lloyd snorts, capping his water.
Of course, Steve spreads his legs in front of you, and instead of acknowledging how fucking hard he is, he helps you balance into position.
You capture a quick kiss and smile as your husband blushes even more.
“Jesus, I’m gonna vomit,” Lloyd mutters behind you.
He’s just so, so fucking evil, but you admit the contrast has you drooling to get your mouth on Steve. You’re already planning on adding orders to your regular routine. You buzz with excitement at all this play implies, now and in the future.
Steve isn’t just letting this happen; he likes what’s happening.
Lloyd’s warm hand pets down your spine until it rests heavily on your lower back, the heel of it pressed against your spread ass, an encouragement and a threat.
“Take him how you want. Just like you told me.”
You squeeze your eyes shut, listening to Steve’s ragged breaths amidst Lloyd's criticism.
“You don’t just lick him, do you, kitten? You can do better than that. I thought you wanted to swallow him whole. Don’t disappoint me now. More. You can take it. More.”
Your nose nuzzles into Steve’s pelvis as you feel his cock jump in your throat. You swallow around him but force yourself up for air after.
“Is that the best you got?” Lloyd teases, his hand sliding tauntingly down your crack and through your folds before he’s gone.
You open your eyes when he grabs your wrist and presses the closed switchblade into your palm.
“Go on. Hold it, pumpkin. Right there.” Lloyd makes your hand rest on Steve’s thigh. For balance, you have to open your fist and press the metal to your husband’s skin as you take him back into your mouth.
Steve fucking groans, pinching his eyes shut and grabbing the sheets beneath him.
“Oh yeah,” Lloyd chirps, “he likes a bit of danger, huh?” A flat hand cracks against your ass, making you whine with your lips around Steve’s dick.
The sound of Steve whimpering is coupled with the snap of Lloyd's belt. His fingers return, and you just know he’s unabashedly staring at your pussy.
“Whoo-ee, if you weren’t already gaping for me, I’d think you weren’t into this. Put your back into it.” You hear the rip of a zipper only moments before the thick tip of him lines up.
You can’t help but moan low and long over Steve’s length.
“Baby?” Steve breathes above you.
“She’s fine,” Lloyd answers instead, pushing in. The head of him pops past the first ridge of your walls, and his hand clamps down on your hip, the other flat over the small of your back, guiding, controlling.
The spit of both men coats your core and inner thighs, you remember, and the slow swirl of ambient air proves it. That thought makes your eyes roll back as much as the glorious pressure of Lloyd’s cock filling you.
But Steve’s fingers find your chin and raise you to look at him, repeating his question until you let him fall heavy from your mouth and lick your swollen lips.
“Golden,” you say just as Lloyd bottoms out. “Fff-ahh.” You barely stop yourself from cursing when he thrusts forward and another SMACK hits your ass. “Golden,” you promise, because you know Steve is watching with extremely mixed feelings.
You return what attention you can to stuffing your mouth full. A rhythm progresses while you rock between them, but it’s too gentle for—of all people—Steve.
His hand knots through your hair to guide you faster. You have to plant yourself steady on the mattress, the knife digging into both your flesh, and hold your hips still.
Lloyd isn’t even fazed as he takes over his own selfish pace, his balls slapping so hard they sting your thighs. He keeps talking, too.
“See how much she likes that, buddy?”
Oh, that is not going to go over well with Steve.
“Bet she’d drop to her knees for you daily.”
He’s not wrong there…
“Damn, babygirl—“ Oh shit “—sometimes a bitch just needs fucked doggy-style.”
You can feel Steve’s chest fill to correct him, the deep v-line of his Adonis’ belt pressing against your nose to cut off your air, but Lloyd purposefully slams into you. You lurch forward to deep-throat Steve with a scream of alarm, and the constriction nearly topples Steve over the edge.
Just for a moment, his hand holds you down, choking you. It’s Steve choking you on his dick, and your nails happily dig into his meaty thighs. You’ve dreamed of this day.
With a strangled sound, Steve pulls you off him, strings of spit drip from your abused mouth. You’re gasping for air but also not done enjoying yourself, so you lick and kiss up Steve’s length until ready to take him again.
All the while, Lloyd darkly chuckles and kneads at your ass.
When one spanking lands so hard that you cry out, Steve bucks down your throat and punches the bed, clearly torn between sensation and situation. 
“Such an asshole,” he grits through clenched teeth. 
“Oh,” Lloyd tuts, “she wants it in the ass? Well, when in Rome…” He swipes his thumb over the cream pooling at the base of his cock and shoves his thumb hard against your puckered hole. 
Honestly, you have no idea if it even breached because you scream and fall forward on Steve's dick. This time, Steve comes with a roar, a raging, animalistic thing you have never heard before, but you’re pulled away just as fast. 
Lloyd hauls you up to his chest, telling you to look at what a fucking mess your husband is for you. Steve desperately grips himself until it’s over, half his spend glistening on his abs, half rolling down your chin while Lloyd continues to thrust into your sweet spot.
He’s given up controlling his language entirely.
“Fuck, she’s close. Come on, big guy—“ he pinches your nipple and bites at your neck “—finish her off.”
Lloyd drops you like a stone into Steve’s waiting arms, and Steve wastes no time slamming his mouth to yours and furiously rubbing your clit. You’re so stretched out that three of his thick fingers feel like nothing until they curl.
This time you can’t help but shout your own curse. Steve just keeps kissing you, holding you two together as you writhe. You hardly notice Lloyd painting his cum across your back and ass but neither does Steve, it seems, because the next thing you know you’re laying beside your husband in bed while your guest grins in triumph.
“I’ll just take this,” Lloyd drawls, reaching beneath Steve’s bare leg to retrieve his knife. He slaps Steve’s ass, too. It’s as if Lloyd knows Steve will let him get away with just about anything in the post-coital fog. “Don’t want you to feel left out, buddy.”
Your husband makes no move at all except to kiss your forehead.
“How are you?” He smooths your wrecked hair out of your face.
“Oh wow,” you say with a rough voice and runaway breaths, “I’m golden, just golden.”
Lloyd grabs his water bottle, joking. “My work here is done, and you two—“ he swigs and swallows dramatically “—I don't mind repeat business from. Anytime. Fuck.” 
He struts to the bathroom, pants still undone and hanging open, uncaring. With a shout, he slaps the top of the door frame.
“That’s America’s Cunt!”
Steve’s whole body tenses. “I hate that guy,” he grumbles into your sweaty skin.
You snuggle closer, surrounded by familiar body heat and musk. “I know. Isn't it great?” 
Because it’s so, so true. There is nothing about Lloyd Hansen you actually want for one second longer than necessary. That's the beauty of teamwork: everyone serves their purpose.
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Honorable mention to the line I promised but ultimately couldn't fit in (that's what she said):
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@supraveng @1950schick @patzammit @whiskeytangofoxtrot555 @yiiiikesmish @bucky-fricking-barnes-reads @fallinallinmendes @deandreamernp
[Main Masterlist; Ko-Fi]
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tom-whore-dleston · 7 months
Text
Love Changed the Minds of Pretenders
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Pairing ▹ Bucky Barnes x gn. reader
Word Count ▹ 1k
This fic contains ▹ angst, fluff, songfic, unestablished relationship, mentions of sex, mentions of Joaquin x reader, mutual ending of relationship, light beta reading (even though there are no explicit mentions of adult themes, I do not want minors or blank blogs interacting with this fic)
Summary ▹ Do you remember | The 21st night of September?
Notes ▹ I should be asleep right now because I have work at 7am but I just had a random burst of creativity and I needed to let it out. Anyways, this is my submission for @bucks-and-noble Summer Send Off. Thank you @buckets-and-trees and @sgt-seabass for creating this challenge and refueling my love for Bucky. And a special shoutout to the book club! I am so happy I met y'all and I am beyond grateful for the bond we have created 💖 Fun fact: This is my first ever Bucky fic woop woop!! Remember to reblog and comment if you enjoyed! 😊
Prompt ▹ use a lyric [from September by Earth Wind and Fire] as direct inspiration for a theme/idea
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September 21, 2022. 10:02 pm.
The night you met Bucky Barnes. 
Of all places, you met Bucky at a bar. The same bar where your friend performed their first live show and they invited you to watch. You weren’t expecting to meet anyone that night. Your heart had been broken only a few weeks prior. 
Everyone thought: Was he a rebound? A distraction?
No. He was so much more than that. It could have been easy to feel that way fresh out of heartbreak. Even more so when outsiders were constantly questioning what you and Bucky really were. But there was clearly a reason Bucky showed up in your life after this period of hurting. 
Bucky gave you love and security. He made you feel safe when he took you to the movies, when he made love to you, when you slept peacefully in his strong arms. You always thanked him for the things he did to make you feel secure and loved. He’d reply with his typical phrase, “I’m glad I make you feel that way.” 
He welcomed you into his home, his life, and his heart after many years of keeping the door locked and the key tucked away. Waking up and stroking your face before pressing a kiss to your dry lips was something that made your love for him stronger. Then after an hour or so of getting tangled between the sheets, you both would jump in the shower, gently caressing one another with soapy hands. Breakfast with Bucky was another tender ritual that you cherished. Whether it was at 10 in the morning or 1 in the afternoon, you never skipped breakfast with him.
He challenged your negative thoughts and beliefs. You and Bucky would stay on the phone until 3 in the morning talking about the universe, aliens, and other conspiracy theories. The two of you would ponder on the purpose of your lives and the ways of the universe. One thing you both were certain about was that you wanted your lives to be fulfilling and meaningful. Your world expanded and bloomed with beauty and wonder because of him. You wanted to be better and so did he.
Bucky made you believe in love again. And you made Bucky believe in love again.
As the months passed, everything was splendid. Perfect, even. But with perfection, there’s always something lacking. Of course, you wouldn’t have seen what was lacking if it slapped you in the face.
After 10 months of dating Bucky, you finally revealed your love for him. Now, Bucky wasn’t the type to say it. Heck, he didn’t even say “I love you” to his sister unless she said it first. Yet that wasn’t a deal breaker because he expressed his love in other ways. 
“I love you, too. I know your feelings for me are strong, but I don’t know if I can give you what you want.” 
It was understandable. He did mention in the beginning that he wanted to casually date. You forgot that you wanted the same thing. Man that felt like such a long time ago. Time really does fly when you start to fall in love. And hard you fell.
You hid your disappointment by making more excuses as to why being committed to Bucky would not be in the cards. First, there was the long distance. Then, there was the uncertainty about both of your futures. For a couple that talked a lot about your ambitions, you both lacked the confidence in where you would go in life. As the list of reasons piled up, there was one that made your brain fuzzy and your heart swell.
That reason was Joaquin Torres.
You met Joaquin through your cousin. There was an instant attraction between the two of you yet neither of you pursued each other. If you had gone for Joaquin, you would not have created the world you had with Bucky. So when your feelings for Joaquin grew stronger than your feelings for Bucky, you knew you had to take action before someone got hurt. 
Contrary to your belief, no one got hurt. You were transparent with Joaquin about your status with Bucky, and he understood. When you revealed to Bucky your feelings for Joaquin, he too understood. 
“Listen, angel, I know you. You know what you want in your life and you don’t let anything get in the way of that. I do love you, but who am I to stand in the way of living the life you want. You’ve let people tell you how to live your life for so long and now it’s my turn to stop that cycle. If this is what you want, don’t let me stop you.”
You and Bucky shared beautiful memories over the 10 months of being together, but the words he said to you on August 8, 2023 will always be ingrained in your brain for the rest of your life. That night was the last time you spoke to him and saw his face, even though it was over a video call.
“I’m grateful for having you in my life,” you confessed to him, trying not to cry. You couldn’t figure out if it was because you were surprised this conversation went way better than you thought or because you were saying goodbye.
Bucky grinned, “No need to get all sappy on me, angel.” You shared a final laugh together. “Well, if you ever find yourself in the city, you know where to find me.”
Part of you wanted to make a joke about how you’d run into him at the bar where you met, but you stopped yourself. Instead, you replied:
“You got it, Buck.”
And that marked the end of you and Bucky. 
You and Bucky’s love was never meant to fail. Yet it was never meant to succeed. Perhaps it was just meant to simply exist. 
But who knows, maybe that fateful night in August was not the end. Only time could tell. That was the beauty of time and the universe. You can plan and make certain choices, but ultimately, the universe will lead you to where you’re meant to be.
Now, it’s September 21, 2023. No, Bucky is not in the picture, but your thoughts are with him. 
Do you remember? Yes, you remember. You always will.
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yanderes-galore · 1 year
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Hi, can ask for romantic hcs of Affogatto Cookie with a Royal Darling? Tbh I don't remember much from the Cacao part of Kingdom
Honestly I stopped playing when the Dark Cacao Kingdom released, I watched some cutscenes though so I hope I got the basics of his character ^^ It feels a bit rushed but I hope I got my ideas across. I wanted to expand on this but the plot feels butchered :(
I really should play CRK again but I don't want to grind again, LOL.
Yandere! Affogatto Cookie with Royal! Darling
Pairing: Romantic
Possible Trigger Warnings: Gender-Neutral Darling, Manipulation, Obsession, Attempted murder/just murder, Forced marriage, Trust issues, Forced relationship, Drugging.
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In this story you are a royal of the Dark Cacao Kingdom.
You are another of Dark Cacao's children, persisting after Dark Choco's betrayal.
Safe to say you have some trust issues due to your brother....
Affogato is a very charismatic shaman (?) character.
He's manipulative and does his best to be trusted in the eyes of the Dark Cacao Kingdom.
He's simply someone looking for a place to belong!
He's definitely not some usurper to the throne.
When Affogato first meets you, he sees you as his key to the throne.
If he can gain your trust... your father will only ever trust him more.
Affogato is someone you don't trust as easily as most.
He shows up out of nowhere then tries to play himself off as your friend?
Yeah right....
You and your father have very different opinions on Affogato.
Dark Cacao trusts Affogato and his judgements, an idea you don't approve but can't fight.
"Father... can't you see it in his eyes? He lies to you with fake smiles!"
"Hold your tongue... Affogato is aiding us. He is no liar."
You only dislike the shaman even more when he accuses Caramel Arrow of stealing rations.
You felt that only you and Caramel Arrow knew of Affogato's lies at times.
Which is why you whispered that you were sorry for your father's actions when she is exiled.
You truly miss your first watcher... now the outside villages were bound to fall.
Affogato no doubt knows about your distrust.
He can tell you are annoyed at your father's obsessive need to fortify defenses... and his oblivious behavior towards the shaman's scheming.
Affogato knows he can't exile you like the others as your father still adores you, he also knows he can't convince you to go against your father fully... as you still love him too.
Affogato comes up with a new plan...
He'll simply try to be on your good side.
While Affogato's obsession started out as trying to be nice and gain your trust... it transitions to ulterior motives.
After all, what better way to gain the throne than to marry the king's child?
The shaman would try to play his cards right.
You are not easy to convince, Affogato knows this too.
It's frustrating to him, yet he'll try to be patient.
You notice Affogato become increasingly friendly towards you.
Your father sees nothing wrong with this...
You ignore Affogato's attempts to gain your favor, but he never goes away.
Affogato plans to marry you just for power st first.
In order to do that he has to prove himself.
Although... the deceptive man gets obsessed with the idea of you more than power the longer he tries.
You had a certain beauty towards you...
You held loyalty towards your father and hate towards anyone who was similar to your brother.
You hated deceivers... you scoffed at betrayal...
Such harsh beliefs didn't ward Affogato off in the slightest.
The shaman always brewed you the sweetest drinks and spoke to you in a tone as soft as velvet.
You narrowed your eyes at his cat-like orbs, scoffing at how he giggled mischievously in conversation when you answer or accuse him.
"Why do you try to be close with me, snake." Is your response each time Affogato wished to talk.
"Your majesty, I only think we should know each other more. You are awfully stuborn... it hurts my feelings. Is it so wrong to just talk? Our kingdom would fall if you held any false accusations towards those who wish to help."
You're never going to be able to fully trust the shaman after the betrayal of your brother.
This only ever annoys Affogato, as by the time his plan is almost in place, he's actually fallen for you.
You tolerate him... that's as far as he can get.
That is until he allied with Dark Enchantress and gets Dark Choco to rid the Dark Cacao Kingdom of its king.
It's a newer better plan....
When you hear the news of your brother coming back to kill your father... Affogato actually sees your personality change.
You break.
He sees your stern and hateful persona that's always up around him change to that of grief and vulnerability.
Something the shaman pounces on.
Affogato claims to the kingdom that you are in no shape to rule... alone, that is.
He makes a proposal that he becomes king with Dark Cacao gone.
Just until you are fit to lead....
Then, on top of that, he even alludes to the idea of a marriage between him and you.
When you hear of this news from him at your door, you're furious.
You blame him for your father's death.
Him taking the throne is enough already... then Affogato pauses your rage with one sentence for a moment.
"Not only am I king now... you are meant to be married off."
"Married off...? What nonsense do you speak of!?"
When Affogato gives you a cheshire grin, you freeze.
"Don't you get it? I've planned a marriage between you... and me!"
You feel your blood run cold when he laughs.
"Trust me... it's what your father would've wanted."
Affogato is devilish enough to not only have your father killed and steal his thrown... but he also has the audacity to force your marriage.
"You have enough power. Why must you marry me now that my father is dead?" You ask with fury, tears dribbling down your face.
"Don't cry, dear. Maybe I don't want to marry you for power? I promise despite our differences, I have fallen for you... your beauty is as beautiful as the sugary white snow outside our kingdom walls. I was bound to want you someday...."
Affogato expects your resistance, you have always been so stubborn around him.
You don't have much of a choice in the matter, unfortunately.
"I'll kill you for this...." He hears you whisper through tears.
The murderer only laughs again.
"You won't."
Before he leaves the room, the shaman would place a cup full of brew on the table.
"Now, drink up will you? You're so worked up...."
"I'll never accept anything from you-"
"That's unfortunate...."
Affogato has surprising strength when he wrenches your jaw open, dumping the sweet drink down youd throat before cocking your head back to swallow.
The entire experience leaves you surprised... and tired...
"You should really stop fighting me, love..." Affogato hums, placing you back on the bed in your room.
"After all... I'm your king now... and you'll learn to obey me in the end. Sweet dreams... you have a big day tomorrow, dear."
The Dark Cacao Kingdom's fate was no longer in your hands... as you drift off due to the drink shoved down your throat, you dread of what awaits next for you and your home.
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