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quilavastudy · 2 years

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I'm in fourth year of med and I've recently started becoming interested in cardiology... But I feel like it's a pointless dream to have because of how little I've done in medical school and how stupid I am (literally- I'm always scraping passes). I just feel like it's too late for me now to even consider cardiology... I have done not a single extra curricular, no society, no published papers... Meanwhile the people applying have gone to conferences, spoken, published, in journals, get flying high marks. I literally feel sick like it's too late and I feel majorly set back. Those very people sometimes don't even get in... My portfolio would be absolutely EMPTY.

Hi! Sorry this reply is a little late. But you know who is not too late? You!

I can relate to this a lot because I was also around fourth/fifth year when I decided I probably wanted to do a specialty that was more competitive than GP. In fourth year, I had nothing at all in my CV pretty much. No conferences, no publications (I only recently got my first publication as an F3), no awards, no teaching etc. I was also around decile 7/8 in medical school, so well below average.

Does starting this 'late' put you at a disadvantage? Maybe, because you have to work a little harder to catch up and grind a bit more. That's what I've had to do, and part of the reason I've taken an F3 is to build up my CV more. But if you want this, it's not too late to start working for it! Also, it's so easy to look around you and focus on the people who are super keen and have loads, but there will be more people like you than you think. Lots of people don’t even know what they want to do in med school.

Having a specific goal in mind helps you get better, too. It motivates you. Again I was a very (below) average medical student and my only goal was to get by. But as a doctor I've started really working hard and applying myself, and I'm doing a lot better, passing the more difficult post-grad exams first time whereas I struggled with medical school exams. I'm a late bloomer I guess and there's nothing wrong with that!

Also, when you start looking for extra stuff to do, often things will follow on naturally from that. For example, I decided to do a masters. This meant I could do some research, which meant I could go to conferences and present, which meant I could win an award, which meant my CV looked better for the next project I applied for, and so on. Once you get the ball rolling, it often keeps going on and on. You just need to make a start. Maybe approach cardiologists at your nearest hospital and say you're interested and would love to do a small project/audit etc. Flattery gets you to a lot of places - most consultants are delighted that someone is interested in their specialty and will be happy to help. Good luck and please feel free to message me back about anything. xx

#quilava answers #medicine #medblr #specialty #specialties

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thescholarlystrumpet · 4 years

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hey! i saw you on naamahdarling's post about therapists and was just wondering what sort of education program you went through? i've decided i want to become a therapist and am taking prereq classes for grad school applications, and i'm just a bit overwhelmed by all the options out there. :O my dream is to go into a program that does both art therapy and clinical counseling, but even outside of that, there's a lot to choose from and ahhhh. thanks in advance if you have thoughts!!

Hello!

I should first mention that I went the roundabout way and didn’t start grad school until later in life. I loved my undergrad Psych classes so much, I ended up tacking on Psychology as a minor. However, after college, I went through a Recession, a cross country move, a huge personal breakdown, and years of my own therapy.

When I finally realized I actually did want to be a therapist, I was already working full time in another field. I needed to keep working so that limited my options to schools that offered weekend and evening classes. I chose my program based on that criteria and based on the fact that the school was very LGBTQ+ friendly. It was also very Psychodynamic in focus, which fits my own preferences (though I’ve also developed a great appreciation for DBT). It would have been a two year program but in order to keep my sanity, I couldn’t always keep a full class load so I finished in 3.

I got my MA in Psychology with a focus in Counseling and 300+ hours started toward an LMFT (Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist). After graduation, I registered with the Board of Behavioral Science to become an Associate (used to be called Intern). It takes 3000 total hours of experience - including 500 specifically with couples, families, or children - in order to get licensed. I also had to take a Law and Ethics exam after graduation. Now that my hours are complete, I submitted them for approval and will hopefully get permission to take the final licensing exam in the next couple months. 🤞🏻🤞🏻

Now, this is all state-specific for CA so I can’t tell you exactly what other programs might entail. LMFT is the license I’m getting because it’s what my school offered and I LOVED my school. The other options out here are LPCC (Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor) and LCSW (Licensed Clinical Social Worker).

Any of these licenses can be used to practice therapy. An LCSW, to my knowledge, will get more education on community resources and brief therapy because Social Work tends to focus on helping with the immediate crisis and then reintegrating the individual back into society. LPCC and LMFT tend to get more training on longer term individual and family therapy. An LPCC, to my knowledge, would tend to specialize more in diagnosis and treatment of the individual and (unless something has changed) they cannot start accumulating their 3000 hours until after graduation.

LMFT specializes in interpersonal treatment with a focus on our ability to work with families/couples as well as the individual. We start our hours before graduation and continue them after. We can do short term/brief therapy and crisis counseling, too. Just like an LCSW can do longer term one on one therapy.

Since you specifically mentioned wanting to do art therapy, I’d start with that when it comes to looking for grad schools. Is there one with a specific focus on art? If you find a school you love that doesn’t have that specific focus - that’s ok. You can always add on, later. Even once licensed, therapists have to take Continuing Education classes yearly. So, you might find a certification program in Art Therapy later. I intend to get certified in several specialized areas when I can afford it.

You’ll generally need to complete an amount of hands-on experience hours while you’re in grad school in order to graduate. Depending on what your school offers, you can look for a site that may be open to training you in Art therapy.

Here is where it might make a difference if you go for a Masters in Social Work versus a Masters in Psychology. From what I know, most Social Work programs only have very specific training sites where you can work while you’re in school. The upside of the Social Work degree is that you start working hands-on faster, you get more hours accumulated right away, and you’re more likely to get paid as an intern. The downside is the limitation of where you’ll work and having less control over the focus of what you do while in school (again, this is to the best of my knowledge based on the stories of friends in social work).

As an LMFT, I got to choose my site and I ended up really, really happy with the decision I made. Some of my friends were not so lucky and were very happy when their in-school hours were done so they could leave.

I know I just wrote an entire novel that may not have actually given you a lot of answers. 😬Basically, my greatest advice would be to weigh your options carefully and choose what feels right. If you like your school, you will automatically make the most of the experience. If you enjoy the site where you’re working, you will learn and grow there.

Some questions to ask yourself:

Am I staying in state? If not, where would I be comfortable living for the next few years?

Will I be working full time while in school?

Do I have a favorite modality? (Psychodynamic, CBT, etc.)

What other focuses are important to me? (Trauma, LGBTQ, etc.)

How much debt am I comfortable taking on?

Hope this helps? Feel free to message me privately if you want details about my specific school. 👍🏻

#strumpet rambles #ask box #becoming a therapist #i miss my job

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definealetheia · 5 years

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Note to self when I feel like I'm going insane (unfinished)

STOP OVERTHINKING!

Sit back, relax, and take deep breaths.

Listen to chakra tune up meditation music. Unblock your chakras and let the energy flow through your body.

Don't intentionally block your heart chakra. Stop suppressing your feelings, whether it is good or bad. You have to deal with them and heal your wounds. The more you suppress your feelings, the longer your agony will get.

Do you still have doubts about the connection?

Remember that you have already let go of the label Twin Flame. The question whether he is your Divine Masculine or not is not important anymore. The Universe may or may not give you the answer after all. BUT you can honor what you feel is true. You love him. This is your truth. You don't need the Universe to tell you that.

It is okay to doubt the connection sometimes. It is normal to experience doubts and fears in this journey. It is scary and full of uncertainties.

I don't get why other twins refer to someone they meet as "catalyst" who will activate your awakening and you believed as your twin but ended up as otherwise. Same logic goes for false twin. I don't get it. I don't think there is a false twin or a catalyst. That person is either your twin or not. Why would you need a catalyst to activate you? Your twin can do that himself. It doesn't make sense to me. People who started their spiritual journey even before they met their twin were awakened due to several possible reasons. May be because of traumatic experiences or they come from a spiritual background. As for those who were not awakened until they met their twin, I don't understand why the person who activated them ends up only as a catalyst. What for? You will only recognize that person as a catalyst once you meet your true twin. And then it would be like you're restarting your twin flame journey with your true twin! Wth.

Remember the reasons and synchonicities that lead you to believe he is your twin.

He activated my spiritual awakening.

It was August 29, 2018. I met my twin online right after I graduated from grad school. I finished another milestone in my life. I finished a job contact and ready to start a new life. I was optimistic about the future. I've been single for years and thought it would be nice a start a new one. But I didn't want to start a relationship just for the heck of it. I wanted to find the one. I've been saying this to the Universe for a quite some time. I might have manifested it when I met your twin without knowing it.

I've been suffering from MDD and GAD for years. I was in medication and went in and out of hospitals after every suicide attempt. For a long time I was suffering from an existential crisis. I did not know who I am or why I am alive. I did not have dreams of my own and was just living to fulfill the expectations of my family and society. I did not have any goals nor did I have reasons or motivations to pursue anything except meeting others' expectations of me. I needed to finish school and establish a good career, help my parents, and then have my own family. As good as those things were, I did not have the right motivation to do that.

I have always felt I don't belong anywhere. I was bullied in school and even at work. It made my depression even worse. Everywhere I go, terrible things always end up happening. I always felt uncomfortable, unsafe, and being wronged by people. I felt unlucky and miserable all the time. Everytime I try to turn my life around and gain a little hope, terrible things happen and that little hope I had get taken away from me.

I was never religious nor spiritual. Having a master's degree in Philosophy, I have an extensive experience on critical thinking and being skeptical. I don't label myself as agnostic. In fact, when it comes to my spirituality, I refrained from associating myself from any religious group or any spiritual belief. However, during one Philosophy class where we talked about religion where some of my classmates studied in Catholic seminaries, I remember sharing that I don't believe in (Christian conception) God but I do believe that there is someone or something, maybe it be metaphysical, divine, or a force that governs everything in the Universe.

I have always had the affinity to look at the sunset and the night sky. I has been part of my routine. My childhood dream was to became an astronaut or astronomer. But life happened. Part of my routine was talking to the Universe while watching the night sky. Whenever I feel suicidal I always tell them that I don't belong down here. I want to be among the stars. That's where I feel I belong, not here. I talk to the stars as often as I can. They saw me cry and all. They let me know they are listening by showing me shooting stars. I even saw asteroid Juno and other comets during one of my nightly routine. It always feels magical when they show me how beautiful the Universe is.

Recognizing the soul connection

I have been interested in Japanese culture and martial arts. I've been practicing a japanese sword martial arts since January 2017. Since I wanted to learn the language, I installed a language exchange application on my phone and that's where I met him. To be honest, I was open to the thought of possibly meeting someone online but I did not realize that I would actually meet someone like him. I met men who were more interested in flirting with me than learning another language. That's very common online. But I was not interested in them but when I met my twin, I did not know that from then on, my life will turn bat shit crazy. I was just following ramdom people on the app but I also made sure they did not look sketchy or suspicious. He followed me back. He suddenly commented on a picture I posted of me and my cat and then he sent me a private message. My first impression of him is he was very flirty and straithforward with giving compliments, unlike most Japanese I talked to who were polite and unsure of themselves. When I looked at his picture, I immediately felt something different about him especially when I looked at his eyes. But I couldn't put my finger on it. I never felt anything like it before. I felt like I knew him. There was a sense of familiarity and comfortabilitily. We started talking on Line, sent audio messages, and even talked on video call for hours. He send messages when he wakes up, goes to work, while working, coming home, and before sleeping. It like was a honeymoon phase of a relationship. I told myself it was too good to be true.

I needed to know more about him so I asked him if he was single. He wasn't. I felt like a bucket of cold water was thrown at me. He was still flirty and acting like there's more to us than acquaintances. But because of that reality check, I kept asking myself where I stand. Sometimes he treats me like a girlfriend all then all of a sudden he acts like a stranger. When the conversation gets hot and he becomes more flirty than normal that's where I remind him that he has a gf and I don't want to be in a third party. He told me they haven't talked for a while and he felt lost. I felt worse. I felt like he was just bored and wants to use me to fill in the void. Since I knew I was falling inlove, I made it clear to him that if he wants to continue talking to me like we are in a relationship, then I want to be only one. There should be no other woman. He couldn't give me an answer. He always dodged the question to the point that I get frustrated and just drop it. Add the language barrier to the mix. During one of our arguments, I kept asking him how he really felt about me and his answer was that he wanted to meet. I did not expect that answer. Even if I agreed to that, I reminded him that he has gf and he just told me they hadn't talked.

When he came back to Japan from one of work trips, that's when things went downhill. He used to give me updates on where he was or what he doings but that time I did tell me he already came back. His messages became short. Sometimes just one word. It's obvious he didn't want to be bothered or he just didn't want to talk to me. There were even sarcastic messages. It was my cue to leave him be.

We stared with talking to each other all day everyday until it became more and more seldom. There were days when he wouldn't talk. Then a sudden message after days of silence. I did not chase him or beg him to talk to me. But I once told him how I sad was that he changed. I was crying a lot. My heart got broken so many times. October 2018 came and after over a month of the honeymoon phase, he finally ghosted me.

Kundalini awakening and rising

I became more and more depressed and desperate for answers. I kept asking the Universe: Why did this happen? What was the point? I closed myself off for years and stopped dating after experiencing traumatic relationships. Right when I finally decided to take a risk, open my heart, and love again, this happened to me? I did not understand the point of it all. Letting another person in and then he just breaks my heart? This was the last chance I gave myself to love and this shit happened. Before I met him, I told myself that if I ever meet someone and fall in love, it will be the last time. I want to me the one. I am tired of being hurt so many times.

I was so confused. I was hurt, angry, and frustrated. Wanting to find the answers, I started watching tarot readings on Youtube. I never believed in Astrology. I was too skeptical for that. But I watched hundreds of readings out of desperation to find the answers. I got mixed result on the readings. There were times that the readings resonated so much that my mind was blown so many times. But there were others that just made me more confused and paranoid. The best takeaway from those readings is that divine timing is at work. I have to trust in the Universe and give them space to work things out. I can't force things to happen. The only thing I can do is set healthy boundaries and don't let anyone treat me like a doormat.

I spent the next few weeks just watching readings, crying at night, and trying to cope with the pain. The readings said that there will be communication and it did happen. By the time happened, I literally said "this shit is real." I was surprised that he messaged me and asked how I was. But after the inital shock, I was overcome by anger and hurt. He wanted communication just when I was starting to gain balance and not think of him that much. I was torn between telling him off and just accept that he is back. I replied 2-3 days later telling him I'm doing good.

The communication started again but I was seldom. He called me on 11/11 but I couldn't answer. He just randomly sends a message after a few days of silence and or calls all of a sudden and then disappear again. So flakey! I got fed up and set my foot down. I asked him why he wants call or talk to me. He said he always wanted to call and enjoys being with me. I called out his BS. I reminded him that he stopped talking to me. He can't just come in and out of life as he pleases. He should stop playing mind games with me. He just said to me "Oh don't say that 😭." I told him I deserve an explanation and tell me why he disappeared. He said he did not disappear. I told him it hurts me that he's not being honest with me. He said he was being honest. See the pattern here? I asked him again what happened and he just answered "I don't remember." That was it. I told him I'm a very patient person (I'm a fucking Taurus okay) but he pushed me too far. I won't ask anymore. It's obvious he didn't wanna answer. I'm done.

I was livid. I'm done dealing with a player and emotionally unvailable jackass. That's the start of our separation. It was 11/12.

I spent the rest of November dealing with rollercoaster of emotions. One moment I'm angry, and them I'm in pain, and then lonely ect. It was a torture. There were times when I went into relapse. I thought I have officially gone insane. I just wanted to die.

The first time I came across the term twin flame was through watching tarot readings. I never heard of the time before even when I met my twin. I wasn't interested in learning more about it at first. All I know was that it was different from soulmates and it was rare. I have never thought of myself as special (just different) so I did not think I needed to know about it. But curiosity got the better of me and finally decided to do some research. Lo and behold, I resonated with most of the signs that were listed. The things that happened to me made more sense now. But that was not enough to convince me.

More and more meditation music started appearing on my youtube suggestions. It was December when I finally decided to try a guided meditation. It's my first entry. I felt the urge to do it more and more often until I came across a meditation to awaken my spirit. Before this entire journey I would never think of trying it but since I have been activated, might as well continue on improving myself. I played the music when looking at the sunset. When I came to opening the third eye, I started seeing particles in mid air. They look specks of light or little transparent bubbles floating around. As weeks went by I seem them clearer. I don't even have to concentrate or be in meditative state to see them. I see another invisible layer in my environment as well. I see rain or drizzle even if it's not really raining. I also see "rain" and particles even indoors now. As long as there is light. I tune up my chakra almost everyday. I don't feel right when I don't meditate in a few days.

10/13/2019 ~ 2:41 PM (this has been saved in my Drafts since Jan/Feb -- I'm not sure anymore)

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candisclosures · 5 years

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2018 year-end reflection

It's time for my annual, sort of year-end tradition where I reflect on the year that has passed and write about it. Aah, 2018. Where do I even begin. You were yet another roller coaster year - a year full of plot twists. This year got me on my highest of highs, and lowest of lows.

I searched Pinterest for year-end writing prompts and I found this:

I feel like this is a good way to look back at the year that has been.

1. One thing I proudly accomplished this year is to finally start my Masters Degree. I've been wanting to do so for the past three years, but I finally did this year - and what's even better is that I got accepted in one of my dream schools!

2. Something I did this year that I will probably remember for the rest of my life is taking a leap of faith. I'm an anxious person, which makes it really hard for me to do things that are uncalculated. When I decided to apply for my Masters, I didn't exactly plan it out just yet. I just decided to give it a try, and look at where I am now. I'm really proud of myself for doing that.

3. This year was really a challenging one for me (though it wasn't as challenging as 2017 when I lost Lola) but the most challenging would probably be what happened during the last week of October. That was my lowest of lows, and it was the first time I cried like that.

4. Hmm. I feel like I really improved in terms of checking up on my friends this year. I tried my best to reach out to my closest friends and check on how they're doing, because sometimes I feel like I tend to focus on myself when we talk that I forget to ask about them. I also feel like I've been more expressive in terms of being there for my family, though it's something that I would also want to improve on for the coming year.

5. This year allowed me to realize that maybe some things really need to fall apart so that better things could fall into place. Amidst everything that happened, I'd like to believe that better things are in store for me this coming year, which is why I would choose not to change anything that happened this year.

6. I have so many learnings this year! But my top 3 would have to be:

No dream is ever too big. Just do what you need to do to get to where you want to be.

Every person you meet or interact with, whether good or bad, will eventually teach you something that would be beneficial for you. I learned this in the midst of my biggest plot twist, and it gave me a different perspective on how I view people. That no matter how good or bad the things they did to me, at least I've learned something from them.

Keep the faith. No matter how bad things may seem, just trust that better things are in store for you.

7. I feel like I lack in this area. I did, however, try my best to be there for my friends and relatives who were going through something. I have friends who went through struggles this year and honestly, I feel like me being there for them is a good start for me. I hope I could improve it next year, though.

8. The nicest thing someone has done for me this year is them trying their best to make me realize my worth when I was clouded with negativity and self-doubt. Thank you, friends.

9. Hmmmm... I think it would be me trying to figure out the career path I really want to be in? I was a teacher during the start of the year, and I was having a hard time deciding if I should continue being in that path or finally pursue the path that I really wanted. Now, I really know what it is that I want to pursue. Though there were things that had to be sacrificed, I'm happy that I'm finally sticking to what I really wanted to do ever since I graduated. Another is that I'm more optimistic now. This is something that I really had a difficulty with in the beginning because I'm naturally an overthinker, so I tend to focus on the negative side of things but towards the latter part of the year, I've learned to be more optimistic.

10. Now THIS is something that I really need to improve on. I didn't get to read much books this year, especially when grad school started but one of the best books I've read (in my whole life also tbh) would have to be The Secret. I didn't get to finish it but it just gave me so much inspiration and power! Law of attraction, yes!!!!!

11. I won't choose a specific person, but it's actually my family and friends combined. They helped me get back on my feet when I was at my lowest point this year.

12. I think one thing that I could have done to make this year better is to be more adventurous. It would have added more spice to this year, but I'm not really much of a risk taker. Let's see this 2019!!

13. I'm gonna tweak this a bit and not limit myself to adjectives. The three words/phrases that would describe my 2018 would be:

A year of plot twists - both good and bad

A year of change

A year full of learning

14. An advice that I would give to myself is for me to hang on and keep seeing the good despite of the things that will happen.

15. I think 80% of my learnings this year will be useful for the rest of my life because this year really allowed me to grow and adapt a more mature mindset when it comes to handling things.

16. I'd give myself an 8. I really admire myself for rising back up from the challenges I've experienced this year. I still have a lot to learn, but I'm proud of how I handled myself.

17. Of course, my family and closest friends are the people I want to celebrate my victories with. They've been tjere for me through my highest and lowest points.

18. I feel like there's too many to mention but my most important goals for next year include the following:

Practice gratitude in everything. Try my best to see the good in every situation

Prioritize my inner peace above anything else. This is something that I haven't given much importance to this year - I've allowed myself to feel crushed in the presence of people who did their best to manipulate others and use their power to downgrade others - I won't let that happen again.

Give my absolute best in everything that I do

Be more present.

Avoid comparing myself with others!!!! I always do this - downgrading myself.

Avoid social media - the cause of some of my demons.

19. The goals I've listed aren't materialistic in nature because for this year, I want to go for inner peace and growth. I'm coming to the realization that the material goals will follow once I'm in peace, so I'm going to work on that first. I need to be in the proper mindset: I AM GOING TO GROW THIS YEAR. I WILL ACHIEVE INNER PEACE AND FROM THERE, EVERYTHING ELSE WILL FOLLOW.

20. One thing I'm definitely going to do differently next year is to be more optimistic about things! Law of attraction is very powerful and I'm going to put that into use. Mark my words: THIS WILL BE A FRUITFUL YEAR. IT WILL BE FILLED WITH BREAKTHROUGHS, BLESSINGS, AND SUCCESSES FOR ME, MY FAMILY, AND MY FRIENDS. ♡

Thank you for all the struggles, 2018! I definitely learned from it. 2019, I'm excited for all the breakthroughs!

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bi-privilege · 7 years

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Hello! I'm currently an undergrad student interested in public health (specifically epidimiology) for grad school. I saw that you have done health policy. What do you think about the public health field? Is it worth the time and money? Thank you!

i mean…there’s a lot to consider, and honestly as a health policy person, my experience compared to someone who does epidemiology is probably going to be pretty different. that being said, a couple of things to keep in mind:

research schools that give really good graduate assistantships, even if they’re not your dream school / the best in your field / whatever. if you can find a school that will give you a full graduate assistantship (cover all tuition + have some sort of modest living stipend, typically $1000 to $1500 a month), i would say it’s almost definitely worth going. the biggest mistake i think i made when picking out a graduate school was going to a school that only offered a partial assistantship, when i had an offer from a school that offered a full assistantship, just because i liked the class listings better and wanted to be near D.C. because ~*~connections~*~ and it cost me about $35k in additional student loan debt

what do you want to do with your degree? i ideally want to work for a nonprofit, but that likely means that even with a masters degree/great grades, i’ll be starting off at around $35k/year, so monetarily that might not be worth it for you. if you want to work in the private sector, you might be making 50-60% more

right now, job prospects for people interested in health policy research are SHIT. i cannot really generalize for other public health type fields, but i am having no luck on the job search front. of course, i know from my friends who graduate last year or the year before that there is normally a lot more out there, so that may change in a few months…or it may be like this until democrats get control of the federal government again. i have no idea

a graduate degree is worth peanuts compared to job experience. i really wish i had worked at a shit paying job in my field for a year or two before coming to grad school. i think it’s totally worth it. alternatives include going to grad school part time while working and/or killing yourself trying to hold an unpaid/underpaid internship while also doing your graduate assistantship and taking classes. if you’re the kind of person who can do all three, you probably don’t have to worry about getting job experience before grad school as much

(edit: becoming fluent in a high-demand language is also worth more than a masters degree, if you’re into languages)

i got a masters degree. it is wildly different if you’re looking at your phd. if you’re considering getting your phd, the only advice i have for you is: your phd should be 100% free (and come with a modest living stipend), or it’s not worth it. otherwise, i don’t even know what advice to give

#Anonymous

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