Tumgik
#and i was watching dont lie and literally SO MANY THOUGHTS WERE RUNNING THROUGH MY HEAD
hobslobster · 4 years
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bonvon I need to scream about a lot of things
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streaming-yn · 3 years
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Hi, its Grim anon! I was wondering if I could request a platonic bench trio with y/n (she/her) who is very open about her affection for the three (constantly complimenting them, saying ily, etc.), but lately she's been worried that people will take it the wrong way so she's stopped? And now they're like. Where's my Y/N validation? :(
yep yep!! here you go, grim anon! ^^ sorry if I got a bit off track? I'm not sure if I did or not!
platonic!BenchTrio x affectionate!y/n
pronouns: she/her
other information on the reader:
. minor
. very open with her affection
. minecraft streamer
. faceless streamer
. it's against her boundaries for anyone other than friends to use her real name
warnings: sexism/misogyny (ends well, the haters are addressed), idk but the "girl near streamer I like? ew wtf 😒" type of hate (also gets addressed n shut down), little angst, distancing yourself from friends, trying to change yourself, cussing, mention of "weird comments" made towards y/n *ALL OF THESE ISSUES ARE ADDRESSED AND SHUT DOWN THOUGH !!!
form: headcanons
summary: y/n is super openly affectionate with all of her friends! unfortunately, a lot of people think that's a negative thing, though Tommy, Tubbo, and Ranboo notice y/n's change and get to the bottom of it to fix the issue ^^
genre: platonic, little angst, fluff(?) after it gets found out, hurt to comfort type of deal ^^
abbreviations: s/n -> streamer name, y/n -> your name
note: I'm not very good at angst yet so I'm sorry if it kinda sucks !! :(
you were very in touch with your loving side and showed all your friends affection very openly and however you could
unfortunately, since y'all didn't live near each other that meant that you had to wait for visits for like hugs n stuff :(
at first you didn't think much of it, affection was a normal thing between friends, why do it differently on stream?
you would often tell the boys how much you loved them and we're genuinely happy and grateful that y'all were friends
complements and validation paired with this, naturally
the boys looked forward to streams with you, not only because you where best friends but for the serotonin that your affection brought :D
actually!! on streams with all of you together, it wouldn't be uncommon for tommy, tubbo, and ranboo to playfully fight over your affection
it would be in different ways though, like with Tommy, you would complement either ranboo or tubbo and if you didn't state a name tommy would be like "THAT WAS MENT FOR ME, (TUBBO/RANBOO)" after they thanked you
meanwhile tubbo would either go on about betrayal and how you didn't love him anymore and he's going to run away or he would do something along the lines of ":(( what about meee"
and ranboo, if the compliment wasn't aimed at him, even if you clearly added tommy or tubbo's name at the end, would always reply "thank you" or something similar
however it's different if the compliment is directed at them!
ranboo would thank you, do a small laugh that's half flustered half awkward, and then complement you back (he got less awkward and flustered as he got more used to it though!)
you could hear the smile in tubbo's voice as he loudly thanks you and gives you like 3 compliments in return
tommy, it would depend if either of y'all are streaming or not! yes? "I know" all jokingly cocky like. no? "thank you, I guess" he says it as a half joke, it's a genuine thank you, but he likes keeping it playful so the "I guess" is thrown on, it's random if he gives you a complement back or not, it's literally not even dependant on how he feels, it just at random
also I feel like you and Tommy would have like a "ily!! /p" "ew /j" bit, very often I will add 👍
like while your streaming you like "tommy!! I love you, thank you for being my friend :)" and him, completely disregarding the last bit, would reply "EWW, Y/N YOU DO KNOW IM I MINOR CORRECT??"
if him ever saying ew hurts your feelings then he won't say it, however he will say the rest, unless him deflecting your "ily" makes you feel bad as well, it's fairly easy to crack him to say it back since you're best friends
a lot of back and forth, but not too hard since he never wants to genuinely hurt you
ALSO if you complement him (on stream ofc) he will find a way to turn it around, not onto you, but just turning into something too tame to be labeled and insult but definitely something close!
"I like your sunglasses!!" "oH??? SO YOU DONT LIKE MY EYES??? THANKS S/N"
(also feel like tubbo might do this)
ofc would stop if it makes you sad/uncomfortable/etc
with ranboo though, he might occasionally do that, but it's way more often for you two to get into complementing matches (just going back and forth with complements)
you also sometimes do the "ily more" thing, just because it's funny bc it's like a cringe romance movie thing, y'all never do it on stream though because ppl might make it weird, and some friend quirks are better kept private anyway, just a you two thing :)
occasionally the "no you hang up first" too, except you both play they teen girl waving her hand and saying it the most high pitched voice she can. it's so funny hearing ranboo going so high 💀💀
as a rising streamer, of course you have Twitter, and your subtwt isn't toxic – due to your personality and stuff, the people you attract to your content are all pretty loving and chill! ofc there's a few bad eggs, but that's just what happens, you choose to ignore those few
but since you've gotten more popular, people finding you through your more popular friends, you've seen a rise of tweets mentioning you, whether it be in general or in the boy's replies
you're glad to be getting more popular, now you can find more people who seek comfort from your content, which was your goal when you started anyway! so it's all exciting! ..at first.
rise in people means rise of people in the toxic 1%, and also means rise of haters or people who just don't like you
sometimes you come across tweets like "why does y/n feel the need to be around ranboo, tubbo, and tommy? leave them alone ffs, she got her fame she wanted, she can leave now 🙄✋" and "we get it, girl streamers are less talented so you needed to leech off they boys' talent! like is she done yet or??" or occasional tweets saying something about shipping – which is against not only your boundaries but all of they boys' as well.
the replies being full of "use s/n, using her real name is breaking her boundaries! and if you have an issue, then don't watch the streams she's in, dickhead!", "you could just mute her name on here and not follow her twitch, you're being overdramatic for no reason", "hey hey, remember that s/n checks her indirects", "ew, deactivate", "aw, are you scared bc a girl is better than you at gaming? aw you gonna cry??", etc, makes you feel a bit better, but the punch from the original tweet lingers
after seeing a bit more, you saw the majority of the haters – and weird people – you saw the root of it was probably because you were so affectionate towards you friends and just being around them in general
so, it'd be best to stop, right? don't participate in as many streams, stop being so affectionate in general, to be honest you were already quite anxious that you being so "clingy" was annoying, the hate just solidified it
so you have a plan in line, the hard part is executing it :(
to start, you stopped complimenting them as much on stream, and the late phone calls lessened, and those became more and more noticeable before you "got too busy" to be in as many streams as you used to
I feel like ranboo would notice first and try talking to you before bringing it up to tommy and tubbo, but when you replied "oh! yeah I'm good dw :)" he knew it was a lie and went to the others
"what do you think is going on?" "I'm not sure" "whatever it is, do you think this is why she stopped being so affectionate? I miss it"
then it clicked for tommy while ranboo and tubbo still tried to figure it out
"do you think it's family problems?" "no, last time they has family problems they became more clingy and their phone calls were more frequent, not-" "wait wait wait"
tommy checked your social media platforms, of course they had more followers than before
"what? tommy?" "I think it's more of an online hate problem" tommy leaned back in his chair, running his hands over his face before looking over at the discord call as the two others made sounds of shock, "yeah, this started after her platform got bigger and she got more well known" "..you're right" "how- how do we fix it?" "address it on a stream?" "no, no, not yet, I think we should contact y/n first, see if she'll tell us if we're right or not" "I could try? last time I texted her she responded pretty quickly so maybe that still applies?" "yeah, tell us if we're right or not and we'll continue from there"
so ranboo texted you, making sure to form the text to get to the point but not scare you, he knows how anxiety inducing confrontation, especially from friends, can be for you
you didn't know exactly how to respond, would it be better if you lied? or would the truth be better?
after a few times of the "..." appearing and disappearing on ranboo's screen before you message of ",, yeah, that is the reason actually ;; I'm sorry I didn't tell you, I thought it'd be better to just distance myself :(" sent through
the boys on call could hear the frown in ranboo's voice when he sighed and said "oh" "were we right?" "just a second"
ranboo replied to you, reassuring you that you don't don't have to apologize for not telling them and it isn't your fault, making sure to remind you that you can come to either him, tommy, or tubbo whenever you want
"yeah, she got hate, and I guarantee that if we go through her indirects then we'll see what exactly happened, we may have to scroll a bit though" so they searched around on Twitter and found some, then tubbo spoke "do you think she would want to join call so we can figure out what to do to fix this?" "I can text her, though maybe we can more of distract and comfort her tonight? we can talk about the hate and stuff another time" "yeah yeah, I think that's a good idea"
so he texted you to see if you'd like to join the call, you accepted and ended up playing video games with them – mainly Minecraft servers – for a few hours before tommy had you and ranboo (assuming you're in the US or close) sign off to get some sleep (if you're in the UK or close, he had you and tubbo sign off and then signed off himself for some sleep)
the next day you guys hopped back on call to discuss how you guys would fix it, as well as them giving a bunch of positive comments about your affection :)
you guys decided on a serious stream from Tommy's account, it was either tommy or ranboo's account, but you guys chose tommy bc he's not anxious about turning off donos and other things
you guys discussed that the hate you were getting was uncalled for, and the weird comments were to be stopped immediately.
"I think that's everything? y/n, anything else?" "yeah I think that's about it, thank you guys so much!!" "alright, one more thing before we go- chat- chat, if you have an issue with y/n being in our streams just don't watch our streams! if you don't like y/n we don't want you here" "tommyyyy :(( (/pos)" "wait wait!! chat, if anyone asks or is being rude either spread clips on the stream or screenshots of the tweets we posted!! we want to make sure that everyone – even those not watching the stream – are informed!" "alright, bye chat, I better not see any more y/n negativity!!"
there wasn't negativity in chat when you went to check btw :)! it was in emote-only bc they thought it'd be the best thing to do and most of the chat was filled with hearts and other positive emotes! <33
now whenever hate stuff it posted the replies have screenshots of either tommy, tubbo, or ranboo's tweets, links to the VOD, or clips, stating the most important and the tweet is usually taken down within a matter of hours – days sometimes
and after that everything was back to normal!! you started complimenting them again, telling them how much you love them again, etc etc! you even got back into late calls :)
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localcactushugger · 3 years
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Does anyone else ever get sad thinking about the abuse Hawks went through as a kid? Because I keep making myself sad thinking about it.
It's so many different kinds of fucked up that just mixed together and created one huge toxic environment.
#1) The physical abuse.
Right off the bat, Chapter 299 starts with Keigo getting hit by his father for leaving the house. It doesn't actually show Keigo being smacked, instead it shows a panel of their "home". (although it's extremely small and looks more like a broken down shack in a field to me)
But the sound of the "smak" is very much punctuated in the panel, followed by Keigo hunched over with marks on his face:
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The marks on his face are prevalent. Even in the smaller panel, Keigo still has a very obvious bruise under his eye and above his eyebrow.
THEN he gets kicked in the side/stomped on for "turning his back" on his father?? (Aka doing nothing. Literally what did he do?? Wtf?):
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He's getting smacked and kicked around, but instead of crying or getting upset he just endures. Which brings me to:
#2) The Emotional and verbal abuse. (Strap in cause there's a lot of it.)
Keigo apologizes after his father kicks him for no reason, then he curls up into a ball, clings to his Endeavor plushy, and listens as his own father rants about how much he wishes that Keigo was never born.
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^^^^^^^ LOOK AT WHAT YOU DID ASSHOLE. HE'S LITERALLY CLINGING TO HIS PLUSHY FOR COMFORT!! WHY ISN'T ANYONE HUGGING HIM??? CAN I HUG HIM??
Keigo says that he knew his parents were broken, so he endured because he wanted to avoid their fate.
Basically: "I know my parents are broken, but need to endure because I don't want to become broken too."
That's a horrible mindset for a child to have?? He's basically saying that he just needs to take the abuse and hope that he doesn't break because of it?
And I don't know how he wouldn't break from it with the way his parents talk to him, and all the horrible things they say:
The constant screaming/yelling. Like Shit.
"Don't do a damn thing!" " Who did you sell me out too?? You can't fool me!!" "Don't leave this house!" "Don't you dare lie to me!!" "Don't go talking to anyone!!" "You thought you'd get away with it didn't you??"
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"How many times have I told you not to turn your back on me??"
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"If only that punk was never born I'd be free."
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"Why were you even born?" "Why do you even have those wings?"
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He's gotten it from both parents. And every time it happens he just hugs his plushy a little tighter.
#3) The neglect.
In pretty much all panels of Keigo's home theres Trash everywhere. If you go back and look at the house there isn't a single panel without some kind of trash in the frame. I see beer bottles, wine bottles, wooden planks, trash bags, newspapers, dirty rags, dirty laundry hanging from the wall & hangers, floor boards coming up, leaks from the top of the walls.
The "house" is barely holding together as it is. It looks like it's about to collapse, and the inside makes you think a tornado ran through it. Nobody is bothering to clean up the mess. In fact the only person who seems to be patching up the house is Keigo. This seems to be a routine for him since he can be seen picking up a wooden plank to fix the wall. Too bad his father kicked him before he could repair the hole 🙃.
Seriously does the "house" even have running water? The windows are broken the walls are made of tin roofing tiles. Does it even have heating or insulation? It's obviously not suitable for a child. I'd be afraid that the roof was gonna fall on me while I was sleeping.
I understand they can't buy a proper home. But it wouldn't be so bad if someone acutely bothered to clean the inside a bit. At least maintain the house so your kid doesn't step on a nail, or glass from a beer bottle. IF A CHILD CAN PATCH UP A WALL SO CAN YOU. WHY IS KEIGO DOING ALL THE WORK?
You people are gonna get rats and bugs. (If you dont have them invading your "house" already)
And that's only the house.
What about Keigo? He doesn't even have shoes. His shirt is torn at the seams. And his parents didn't even notice when he left? Keigo's dad yelled at him for leaving the house and going outside, but was anyone even watching him in the first place? How does your child leave the house and make it halfway to the city before you notice? This little bird looks like he weighs 5 pounds! He's gonna get kidnapped!!
His mom is obviously unstable and she stares at the wall all day. And his dad hates him for existing. So I guess no one was watching him?
His mom also doesn't really seem to care when Keigo gets yelled at, hit, and kicked either. She just kinda stares at the wall. Then when her and Keigo become homeless and start living in a train station she guilt trips him into stealing for her. Like Really??
HE GOT INTO A CAR ACCIDENT TOO! You sent your child out to steal for you and he literally got into a car accident. He managed to save everyone involved but still, are trying to get your son hit by a truck? This is why I have so many mixed feelings about Tomie.
#4) Being held hostage in his own home.
This one is self explanatory. Keigo got hit in the face just for going outside. He was held hostage in his home for so long that he didn't even know heroes existed. And this is a society where heroes are everywhere. I'm sure it was a lonely childhood, kinda hard to make childhood friends when you get beaten just for leaving the house.
#5) Whatever the fuck "rough training" was.
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I know we haven't seen Keigos "rough" training yet. Horikoshi only went into a little bit of detail about it when he mentioned that the commission taught Hawks negotiation skills as a kid. And then theres that one image in the Season 4 outro where Keigo has a blindfold on as a child during training.
But I still would like to know more.
Why would you put a child through "rough" training, strip him of his name, and tell him it's all because he's gonna become a "special hero" right after you've pulled him out of an extremely abusive situation. Like, you aren't gonna wait a bit? Preferably until he's a teenager? Not gonna give him therapy or something?
Isn't pulling a child out of an abusive situation and putting them through "rough training" kinda like transfering them from one abusive household to another?
LET THE BOY REST! LET THE KID BE A KID. YOU ONLY HAVE ONE CHILDHOOD AND HE'S ALREADY MISSED OUT ON MOST OF HIS!!
The training can wait.
If you want help him and support his family, do it out of the kindness of your heart and not because you think he'd be a useful hero.
I honestly don't know how this "training" went for Keigo, but considering that he doesn't currently have the best relationship with the HPCS . . . Well I don't know. All I know is that he never really seems too happy around people from the commission. He doesn't seem to agree with any of their ideologies either.
Honestly I just want him to find peace!
Based on what we've seen so far, (*cough* especially from the Todoroki family *cough*) you really shouldn't be training a child to become a hero in the first place. The training can start as a teenager if someone chooses to train.
Look at the way you massacred my boy! Give the kid a break for fucks sake!!
And these are just the early years. Don't get me started on everything else ✋🙄
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leedosbunnyboy · 3 years
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Oh yasss so 1,28,32 a Lucas x male reader College au with frat boy, play boy, fuck boy Lucas who is STRAIGHT literally lives on the attention of pretty girls, has pretty girls in his DMs, he’s also the basketball captain, a vaper, six pack you know Lucas the casanova. But Lucas really has the hots for the male reader who is a dancer and is quite feminine and flexible 👁👄👁. This is kinda angst and smut since the male reader obviously doesn’t want to only be seem as an object and used for sex since he has feeling for Lucas but Lucas says “I’m straight!” But at the same time Lucas really wants to get in the male reader’s pants. The male reader almost gives in but I guess slaps Lucas then they do it anyway, really really hard. But after that the male reader completely avoids Lucas - @cherubsandswans
Ooo~ thank you so much for the request! I hope I did it justice.
Prompt game here
Warning(s): Smut, Semi-public sex, Unprotected sex (suit up boys), Creampie
Enemies to Lovers trope, College Au
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Calm down ladies. There's enough of me to go around."
*sigh* Once again, the very annoying voice of Lucas resonated in the hallways.
You've always hated Lucas. Why? You didnt quite know the answer yourself anymore. Hell, you remember having a huge crush on him way back in middle school, before he became the attention whore he is now.
"Hey, (M/n)!" You rolled your eyes in response and waited for the inevitable interaction.
"Make it quick Lucas. I have to get to dance class." Said male was still trying to catch his breath considering he had to run through the crowd of thristy girls fawning over him.
"Okay, well... I was wondering, would you like to go out-"
"I hope you're not trying to ask me out again?" You cut off the male in front of you.
"I mean, yeah I was." He sheepishly smiled.
You let out an exasperated sigh as you rubbed your temples.
"Look, Lucas, how many times do I have to tell you. I don't care that you 'like' me. You're obviously just some straight frat boy who only likes girls for their bodies and thinks that you can get into my pants for whatever hidden agenda you have. Now do me a favor and please leave me alone." You state and make your way to your class.
"Can I atleast watch you dance?" He begs with puppy dog eyes.
"What?!" You retort.
"Can I watch you dance? Please?" He again begs.
"Fine." You sigh and make your way to class. The handsome giant following behind.
Once you made your way inside the studio, you began your stretches and then plugged in your speaker.
"Just sit down and dont fuck with anything, okay?" You told him and he nodded.
Music began to overtake your body as you began to start the rountine. Routinely looking behind you to make sure Lucas didnt run off to mess with something.
You continued to freestyle as the rhythm in your body seeked an outlet to express itself.
You caught Lucas staring at you in the mirror and decided to give him a show. Slowly turning the choreo into a more sensual vibe, you began to move your hips in a suggestive way.
"And who allowed your ass to be this thicc?" Commented Lucas as his eyes continued to trail you like a starved wolf.
You chuckled as you continued to dance and grinded slowly on the floor. You finished the dance with a split, amazing the boy sitting a couple feet away from you.
You had just barely stood up when Lucas pinned you against the wall, his lips sloppily kissing up and down your neck.
"I want you to bend over for me." Lucas whispered in your ear.
"You want me to what?!" You yelled and then slapped Lucas across the face.
"Ow!" He exclaimed and rubbed his, now red, cheek.
"What did I do?" He asked.
"'What did I do' oh- so you're just gonna ignore the whole 'I want you to bend over for me' no, fuck you Lucas!" You yelled and began to make your way out of the studio.
"(M/n), wait! I'm sorry please let me explain!" Lucas said as he trailed after you, his voice loud as can be considering that everyone appeared to have gone home.
"Explain what Yukhei?! That you're some sex hungry motherfucker who decides to have his fun by playing with people's feeling? Why, just why can't you leave me the fuck alone?!" You screamed at him.
"Because..." He looked down at his shoes before regaining his confidence, "I love you so much it hurts!" He announced.
You stared blankly at Lucas, who could barely make eye contact with you.
"W-what?!" You stuttered.
"Ever since we've been kids, I've had the biggest crush on you. But I always thought that since you were a boy it was wrong. I've had these feelings for you hidden away for who knows how long all because of my own insecurities. But I dont care anymore! (M/n), I love you with everything in my heart." Lucas finished, struggling to catch his breath as if he had just ran a marathon.
You slowly began to clap, and Lucas looked at you, confused beyond all hell.
"Not gonna lie to you Xuxi... that was kinda hot." You state, to which Lucas responds with a cherry red blush.
"Follow me." You whisper and take Lucas's hand to drag him back to the practice room.
"What are we doing back he-?!" Before he could even finish his sentence, you cut him off by pinning him to the wall with a kiss.
He slowly began to trail up and down on your body, clutching onto any flesh he could. He then tapped on your thigh which you took as you signal to jump and wrap your legs around his waist.
Lucas laid you down on a, conveniently placed, training mat, before removing his and your clothing.
You laid back and admired his figure. His body was toned and it was obvious. From his shoulders to the abs, it was hard not to drool. And his chocolate brown skinned complimented it so beautifully.
"Can I put it in?" Lucas asked to which you eagerly nodded.
Lucas spit on his dick before slowly sliding it into your hole.
"God, you're so fucking tight!" Lucas moaned once he was fully sheathed inside of you.
"Y-you're really big Xuxi." You whimpered.
"Shh, sweetheart. Just wait and adjust." He comforted.
"You can move." You said and Lucas wasted no time and began to hammer into you.
Nothing but moans and slaps of skin could be heard as the room probably reeked on sex and sweat. (Good thing this was all after school.)
After a while, you began to feel the knot in your stomach begin to come undone. And considering how sloppy Lucas's thrusts were getting, you could assume that he was too.
"Lucas, I'm gonna cum!" You screamed.
"Me too, baby. I'm gonna fucking fill you up till bloat." Lucas growled.
His hips met your's as you both reached your climaxes. You spilling on your chest and Lucas inside of you.
"That was, fucking amazing." Lucas panted.
"Yeah... now get out." You said.
"Heh?" He questioned.
"I've still got to practice and you're gonna be a distraction, so go." You restated.
"I'll atleast get you some tissues." He said and pulled out and watched as his cum began to leak out of you.
You cleaned up and Lucas began to gather his things.
"Can I see you tomorrow?" He asked.
"Nope sorry. I have a competition tomorrow so I'm gonna be gone for a week." You tell him to which he responds with a groan.
"No fair! I finally confess and now you're leaving?!" Lucas whines.
You chuckle and place a kiss to his cheek.
"Calm down. I'll only be gone for a week. And when get back, we can do this again." You smile.
Lucas regains his happy demeanor and struts his way out.
Damn... all those years of hatred led up to you getting laid. Can't say you're complaining.
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krappykawa · 4 years
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Hi !!! can I request oikawa, osamu, hinata (+ whoever you feel like adding) reacting to their female s/o calling them "hubby" (they have never used that nickname before since it's supposed to refer to a husband) to see their reaction??? i just saw this as a tiktok prank and they were like "omg you wanna marry me??? im definitely gonna marry you" and now im sobbing so precious 🥺🥺🥺
reacting to s/o calling them hubby
characters. oikawa x f!reader, osamu x f!reader, hinata x f!reader
note. in every scenario, reader is internet famous & posts little previews of their life on tik tok!
note 2. sorry for not posting in a while,, school started again and i’ve been mentally drained but i will try and finish other requests soon!
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OIKAWA.
- you guys are filming a snack review video because oikawa lost all self control while grocery shopping and literally was picking things off the shelf left and right
- he insists that he’ll finish them this time but you know that’s a lie
- but you also decide that it’s also the perfect time to try out this tik tok prank on him so he won’t be suspicious of the camera
- the camera is set up and everything so now all you have to do is say it
- “hey guys today we’re going to do a snack review because my husband bought wayyy too many snacks” cute rolling eyes and cute little smile directed at oikawa that makes your watchers go 🥺🥺
- IT TAKES HIM SO LONG TO REALIZE
- like you’re literally staring at him waiting for him to realize but he doesn’t
- you’re halfway through opening your first bag when he finally realizes
- “WAIT”
- you look to the camera to make sure you’re filming this whole thing
- “you said husband.”
- “i did?”
- “YEAH! you did. i heard you say it.”
- “no i didn’t!”
- “check the video y/n-chan. i heard you say it.”
- he makes you replay the video because he will whine and pout until he makes sure that you hear it
- practically lights up when he hears it again
- “hmm does that mean you wanna marry me yn-chan?”
- “no it doesn’t”
- he notices the small blush on your cheeks points all over your face. “ooo you wanna marry me so bad huh?”
- the living incarnation of the 😏 emoji
- big cocky smile on his face bc he takes it as an accomplishment that you called him your husband on accident
- his eyes are secretly all teary-eyed though because HUSBAND?,$3;!9 💓💓💓💓💖💞💘💞💘
- he decides right there and then that he’s gonna propose soon because he thinks his heart physically bursts at the idea of you calling him husband for real
- the only reason he doesn’t propose right there is because 1. he doesn’t have a ring and 2. his an extra little bitch that wants to keep you on your toes while also making sure that his proposal is so good that you’ll end up crying happy tears
- when you post the video on tik tok oikawa makes sure to like every single comment that says “THEY’RE SUCH A CUTE COUPLE UGH WHY DONT THEY JUST GET MARRIED ALREADY”
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OSAMU.
- his ass loves food so he literally lights up at the idea of doing a mukbang
- at first he insists that you don’t film it because he’s lowkey creeped out about the idea of eating in front of a camera just for people to listen to him eat
- he finally agrees to filming it when you promise to make the mukbang have all his favorite foods
- what he doesn’t know is that you’re simultaneously trying a tik tok prank on him
- “hey guys! welcome back to my channel! today we have a special guest, my husband, osamu because we’re doing a mukbang and you will always find this guy with food in his mouth, no joke.”
- he catches your little slip-up right away
- “husand huh? ya got something ya wanna say?”
- doesn’t even care that there’s a camera in front of you (he thinks you’ll just edit it out anyway)
- you play innocent because where’s the fun in telling him it’s for a tik tok right away?? “hmm what are you on about miya?”
- “what i’m on about is that yer telling me that you want to be a miya.”
- WEE WOO WEE WOO OSAMU EYEBROW RAISE WEE WOOO WEE WOO
- “i guess i do like the ring on miya y/n”
- “is this a proposal then?”
- cue shit-eating grin from you. “nah, the man in question isn’t here. you don’t happen to know atsumu’s ring size do you?”
- osamu’s little impish grin drops so quick and now he’s playfully glaring at you
- “ya say shit like that again and i’ll make ‘sumu switch places with me on the altar when we get married.”
- you're laughing into your knee at that point until you make a realization
- “wait. you said when we get married. not if.”
- “i didn’t stutter did i miya?”
- tik tok comments blow up with squealing fans bc OHMYGSOJD
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HINATA.
- you’re a proud gf so you’re more than happy when someone asks you to live stream with your volleyball famous bf
- you also thought it might be a good time to pull this prank on him that you saw on tik tok and get his reaction on live camera because it’s bound to be funny since he’s hinata
- after one of his games you run up to him and hug him before telling him that your followers wanted to live stream with him
- “oh ive seen those!! i’d love to say hi to your fans!! do they know i play volleyball??”
- “yes, babe that’s the whole reason they wanted to meet you.”
- “REALLY???”
- you laugh at how cute he is and then turn on the live
- “hey guys, the long wait is over! here i am with my husband, world famous hinata shoyo! he just finished a game and-”
- “HUSBAND?” he interrupts you and he looks kind of giddy at the prospect. “does this mean you want to marry me y/n??” blushy happy hinata because you bet your ass he’s thought about it before but just didn’t know how to go about talking to you about the idea of marriage
- “what happens if i say yes?” you’ve thought about it too, so you playfully entertain his excitement.
- “then let’s get married!”
- you have to do a double take because you didn’t think he was actually serious. “wait really?”
- “you want to right? that’s what you said!”
- “of course i do! i just didn’t think you would propose right here right now.”
- “why not? i love you, you love me. you want to get married, i want to get married. so let’s get married!”
- the comments are blowing up because oh my god you just managed to accidentally capture your future husband’s proposal on an instagram live
- bokuto and atsumu overheard the whole thing and tackled the two of you into a group hug
- let’s just say your live ended on a frame of bokuto’s face close up because he’s so happy that “the student is getting married!!!”
- atsumu pulls out of the hug for a second and being the little shit he is, runs to the locker room and comes back with a ring pop
- “can’t propose without a ring shoyo! where are yer manners??”
- hinata actually gets down on one knee and proposes with the ring pop and you’re so red because at this point the entire stadium is watching
- you say yes anyway
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janeyseymour · 3 years
Text
I saw the second preview of six and here are my thoughts (along with a few fun stories at the end):
My heart literally fell out of my ass when the queens started walking out They changed a few small little things here and there and it was perfect If six doesn’t win best lighting at the Tony’s I will sue Ex-wives was WOW I literally could not stop smiling Some of the poses were different 
ADRIANNA FREAKING NAILED NO WAY
I am convinced she just is beyonce always
She’s just fantastic in that role and that’s what I have to say about that
Ig abby danced a little too hard during no way because she kept messing with her wig after
Actually she lowkey played with it throughout the whole show and it was adorbs
Britt was helping her fix it and like pointing out where it was a little cray (also abby’s wig looks so good omf)
ANDREA IS- WOAH DURING DLYH
Her delivery throughout the whole show was a bit more mature, but it was still so babey I love her
(On a side note someone today told me I look like Andrea, which is very kind but so untrue because I literally look like a broken thumb and she is gorgeous)
Her “IM NOT SORRY” was amAZING
She like low-key cut made the whole head joke short and im kinda sad ab it, but it was still fantastique
Through the “Wearing Yellow To A Funeral Bit” abby looked confused through the entire thing and I was cracking up
HEART OF STONE HOLY SHIT
She was INCREDIBLE and her dress was so pretty and sparkly and I just wow 
Shes just so pretty in general like ma’am how do you do that please drop the skin care routine 
The emotion that was conveyed was enough to make me tear up BUT I DID NOT CRY AND I AM VERY PROUD OF THAT 
she did the “you lift me high” line and kinda went into this airy place in her voice and it was angelic and heavenly and all the good things
HER RIFFS WERE JUST DFJDHJLFH
She was just fantastic and thats all I have to say 
Thats a lie I have so many things to say about that woman but the time will come
HOH was a whole acid trip there was a point during this song where I literally just took it all in and then thought “Janey, you really spent your hard earned money to go on an acid trip for a solid few minutes good job”
Their dancing is hilarious and thats that
ABBY SAYING “BUT WE CANNOT GUARANTEE THAT YOU’LL STILL WALK AT FORTY” I had to stifle a laugh because my queen is indeed 40
THE GERMAN ACCENTS HAD ME QUAKING
Brittney Mack is… all bad bitch energy and I was living for it
She is a queen
When she did the “my horses can trot up to twelve miles an hour”- in the boot (not that I watch those…) abby is always making a 😳😶😲 kind of face and this time she just couldn’t stop smiling and it made me laugh
WOOF
Her reveal was SO GOOD she literally just started checking out her nails while everyone just applauded… AS THEY SHOULD
When britt told the person to get up, this person full on WENT and britt was like shook it was hysterical
THE INTERLUDE BETWEEN GET DOWN AND THEN KAT’S ROAST WAS ICONIQUE
i dont think it was here but I cant remember where it was but BRITT WAS PLAYING WITH ABBY’S WIG AND IT WAS REALLY CUTE SHE WAS LIKE PLAYING WITH THE ENDS OF IT AND AWH
justice for the beheaded cousins 
BOOOOOOO HOOOOOOOO BABY MARY HAD THE CHICKEN POX AND YOU DIDN’T GET TO HOLD HER HAND… YOU KNOW ITS FUNNY BECAUSE WHEN I WANTED TO HOLD MY NEWBORN SON…. IIIIII DIIIIIIEDD. Abby lowkey went feral and I loved every second of it and then her pose after got so many laughs it was truly amazing
THE K HOWARD ROAST WAS JUST SO GOOD IT WAS SO GOOD
Aywd destroyed me
I also teared up here but I did not let those babies fall because I was not about to ruin my look
justice for my pink queen
Her delivery is insane and honestly its gotten better and I didn’t even know that was possible because WOW SHE WAS ALREADY STUNNING BUT DAMN MY HEART GOT RIPPED OUT OF MY CHEST
The whole “Catherine not singing” bit was fantastic
Abby looked so confused the entire time 
Andrea’s “hahaha what” was perfecto 
when Anna said “should we really be doing this” someone in the audience went “yes” very loudly and made the queens break for a solid second abby almost forgot to say her line and you could barely hear it because the audience was laughing at the rando 
Anna acknowledged it and just went “I know” before turning to the queens and saying “I know” it was hysterical 
“I’m Catherine parr, I draw the line in arbitrary places bLaH bLaH bLaH”
THE CLAPPING- BRITT GOT IN HER FACE AND JUST *CLAP. CLAP. CLAP.”  It was the funniest thing oh my gosh
“Are you sure Catherine? I-we don’t mind if you wanna sit this one out… I mean you must be exhausted from all those backing vocals”
IDNYL WAS INSANE AND ANNA UZELE IS WICKED TALENTED LIKE DANG
I dont know if this was intentional or not but when they all start to understand the purpose of parr’s thing- abby is the last to stand up and in my head im like “no yeah that makes sense because shes “the one he truly loved” and shes still trying to get to a point where shes realizing he wasn’t all that great and I dont know I just really like that minor detail
The whole “remember that I was a writer…” part got loud cheers, especially from abby it was very cute
She did a new riff on the “we all disappear” line and WOW my eyes went so wide it was so good I was genuinely shook
the “i dont get it” was sooo good
“My sixth finger” was said so casually and so determinedly that it was a whole new joke and I loved it
“Everyone notices Jane cant dance” -abby just looking so sad
“Yeeeaaaahhhhh. I read!” Was so cute and she sounded so proud of herself it was adorbs
The way they just stood there awkwardly was amazing and got so many laughs it was so good
When sam said the line about competing, abby really almost cut Anna’s line out but she caught herself and it was funny I dont know if anyone else noticed it, but I did and it was glorious
REMIX
“Rise abo-o-o-o-ove” WAS BEAUTIFUL THEY WERE IN SUCH GOOD HARMONY
AGAIN, ANNA’S RIFFS HOW DOES THAT WOMAN DO THAT AT THE END OF THE SHOW LIKE SHIT
After it was over, of course it got long applause and the entire time abby was doing her like “sparkle hands” but also awkwardly moving her arm kinda like a noodle and then going back to sparkle hands and it gave me a good chuckle
Six
The slow acoustic part was so soft I died
The harmonies was delicious
The audience was so hype
Megasix
Super hype
Amazing
Fantastic
All the good things ever
Basically it was just adorable and amazing and absolutely stunning
The new costumes are gorgeous and the lighting is wild if they don’t win best lighting for Tony awards I will full on riot
Aragon and Boleyn interacted a lot and so did Seymour and Cleves and it was very very sweet
Abby interacted with the band a lot to the point where she almost missed a cue and it was very endearing
AND THEN THEY DID THE CURTAIN UP THING AND FIRST OF ALL WOW THEY ARE ALL SO CUTE AND IT WAS SO SWEET SEEING THE WAY THEY ALL WATCHED EACH OTHER WHILE THEY WERE SINGING AND I JUST JDKFDJLA
abby’s hair is SO LONG but I am here for it
So I was looking for my friend when I hear “Make some room, make a path!” From a security guard, and the queens legit walked RIGHT PAST ME
I wanted to go to the theatre anyway to take pictures, but when I saw them, I did follow them back to the theatre because wow I wanted to bask in their glory I didnt even want to talk to them I just wanted to be in their presence
So im like, walking behind them when this happens:
I guess abby saw someone she knew because I heard this “abby!” And then she was like “OH MY GOD” and like RAN to hug them and i legit almost walked right into her/got stepped on but i freaking stopped like a noob i should’ve just let her run me over but I did not I just stopped in my tracks and let out a soft “aH” and then went around her
And then I got to meet a friend and apparently toby heard us squealing and watched us hug for a solid however long so that was awkward
And Julia schade was like talking to him and stared at us for a good amount of time
And then I was walking away and passed Julia again and she kept looking at me, but she was talking to someone else and I think she thought I was going to stay to talk to her (and I would have loved to) but I didnt I just gave her a smile, a nod, and a little wave because I can not do confrontation like if I could not confront abby ma’am I cannot confront u either I am SHY
And that is a very detailed run down of my time in nyc at the brooks
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Text
Saving Grace - Part 16
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A/N- FINALLY an update!! 🙈
Please like/share/comment etc 💕
I was woken up the next morning with Bucky kisses! The best way to wake up!
"Doll" i heard him mumble before pressing a kiss to my bare shoulder, then i felt him kissing my neck.
"Mmmm Buck...."
"Wake up pretty girl...."
"Nooooo" i moaned but started to giggle when his hands started tickling my sides  "thats cheating..... stop!"
"Are you awake?" He laughed.
"Not by choice but yes, im awake"
"Im sorry but its important"
"Whats wrong?"
"Nothings wrong but i think i found us the perfect house! I called to ask about a viewing and they said its a popular lot and its gonna be snapped up quick..... butttt i managed to get us in to see it.... well Pepper pulled some strings....."
"What? Slow down Buck...." i chuckled trying to take it all in.
"Sorry I'm just so excited for you to see it! its perfect for us and the kids...."
"Okay baby, what time do we have to be there?" I smiled, i loved seeing how happy and excited he looked and id do anything and everything in my power to keep that look on his face.
"We have an hour"
"Okay I'm up" i nodded as i got up from the bed, Bucky grabbed me for a kiss before i could go far.
"I really think you're gonna love this place!"
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The house Bucky took me to looked huge as we drove up to it, a solitary, two story house with a wrap around porch surrounded by woodland. I smiled instantly, it was exactly what we had been looking for.
After walking around the property with Bucky i found myself looking out of the huge floor to ceiling windows at the back end of the house that over looked the prettiest meadow.... this place really was perfect.
"What do you think?" Bucky asked wrapping his arms around me from behind.
"I love it Buck" i smiled up at him "i can see us living here"
"Me too, I'm so glad you like it.... I've kinda fallen in love with the place"
"We can't afford this though....." i said sadly.
"Yes we can, all you have to do is say yes and its ours"
"Are you being serious right now??" I turned in his arms to face him, my eyes wide.... he had to be joking!
"Deadly. We'd have to sign for it now to secure it though. So are you 100% sure that this is the house for us?"
I nodded quickly with a huge smile "100%! But how? Buck this place...."
"Is ours. I knew it from the second i saw it. I have money and Pepper put in a good word for us....welcome home" he beamed before pressing a kiss to my lips.
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When we got back to the tower i sat down with Wanda gushing about how beautiful the new house was. Telling her about the meadows and woodland that surrounded the property.
"I mean its like something out of a movie! Its perfect.... its like my dream home"
"Oh my.... Y/N this place is stunning.... can i move in with you?" Wanda laughed.
"You're more than welcome to come stay whenever you want theres plenty of room"
"I'll be sad to see you guys leave again but I'm so happy for you and Bucky. This is a big step for you guys"
"We'll still stop by all the time it'll be like we never left"
"You better!"
"Of course we will. I still can't believe we have a house! I was not expecting this when i woke up this morning. I didn't even know Bucky was house hunting in his own time, we always done that together"
"Im not surprised, Barnes is sneaky!" Wanda laughed.
"It was so lovely seeing how happy he looked while we were at the house Wand's. Gotta say i was not expecting to wake up and go buy a house this morning! I actually thought Bucky was a little mad at me...."
"Why would he be mad at you?"
"because he found me training with Steve yesterday" i shrugged "he's worried he's gonna loose me and the kids"
"Well thats just crazy.... you'd never leave him"
"I know that but its obviously a problem with Bucky. He feels threatened because of the kids...."
"I get where he's coming from i guess"
"I do too but he's wrong. Id never go back to Steve, for so many reasons but i have to have some kind of civil relationship with him, he's the father of my kids at the end of the day and he's gonna be in our life" i shrugged "I don't wanna spend the rest of my life fighting with Steve".
"Do you think.... never mind" Wanda shook her head deciding against saying whatever she was going to say.
"What was you gonna say Wands?"
"Its just, do you think Bucky found that house as quick as he did to get you away from Steve? maybe he feels threatened having you under the same roof...."
"No.... we were already looking"
Was Wanda right?? Did he find the house so suddenly because he felt threatened... jealous even?
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I spent the rest of the day constantly thinking about what Wanda had said and it was driving me mad!
Once the kids were down for the night Bucky and i decided to watch a movie before bed. It was about halfway through when I finally had to ask Bucky about the house.
"Hey Buck?" I looked up at him, my head was currently in his lap as his fingers ran through my hair.
"Yeah doll?"
"I need to ask you something....."
"Sure, what is it?"
"its just Wanda said something earlier and now thats all i can think about......"
"What did she say?"
"She just asked if us finding a house so quickly was because maybe you wanted me away from Steve?"
"No....of course not. I'll admit i was a little pissed after seeing the two of you yesterday in the gym.... i couldn't sleep, so i sat up looking at houses" he said looking unsure if he should be admitting how much he it got to him yesterday.
"I'm not gonna lie and say im not glad we'll be away from him though" he smiled "he's getting too comfortable around you and i dont like it".
"Bucky Barnes are you jealous??"
"No......" he blushed
"You have nothing to be jealous of babe i promise. You're the only man for me"
"What if im not enough....." he asked sadly avoiding eye contact. I sat up suddenly taking his face in my hands to make him look at me.
"You are more than enough and i love you so much".
"I love you more"
"Thats an argument you'll never win" i shrugged giving him a smile before leaning in to kiss him "how about you take me to bed Barnes and i'll prove it".
"I can never say no to you doll" he grinned before literally tossing me over his shoulder and running towards the bedroom.
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Everything taglist: @jesseswartzwelder @dumblani @barnesandrogersworld @patzammit @rynabarnesrogers-reading @rainbowkisses31 @rororo06 @supernaturalwintersoldier @hiddelstannerbarnes @bellamy-barnes @buchanansebba @rosalynshields @turtoix @dottirose
Saving grace tags @jennmurawski13 @kenzieam
@captainchrisstan @ms-betsy-fangirl
@damnaged-princess @farfromtommy @lbuck121 @billweasleey @heathens-takeitsl0w
@lacontroller1991 @supervengerslock
@mariswritingforfun @thummbelina @broco8 @ineffableg-irl @writeroutoftime @ek823 @cap-just-said-language @xxloki81xx @death-unbecomes-you @bellemile @buckyandsebastian @afuckingshituniverse @i-ran-out-of-fanfics
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topsytervy · 3 years
Text
Rafe with an Asexual Reader
Because it’s Ace Awareness Week (hello, by the way, I’m not dead), I decided to do a kind of canon Rafe (minus the murder) little thing with an Asexual reader.
Word Count: that’s a good question
Warnings: like one mention of cocaine, swearing, talks about sex, mentions an ex trying to out the ace reader (WHICH ISNT COOL! DONT EVER OUT SOMEONE! IT’S THEIR DECISION OF WHEN AND WHO TO COME OUT TO!), i think thats it
Everyone knows Rafe as the kook prince
has issues with his dad, has a coke addiction 
Has definitely had some adventures in the bedroom if you're picking up what I'm putting down (lets face it, there’s a good chance Rafe is kinky)
Has had his fair share of casual hookups
And let’s be honest, Rafe’s attractive
I mean, have you seen his eyes?
And while many girls saw him at a party and thought 'cant wait to get him out of those khakis'
You thought about how amazing his hugs probably were because, holy shit, his arms
No one even thought Rafe knew what asexuality was (and they were right)
It started when you accidentally bumped into him at a kegger at the boneyard, causing him to spill his beer
"Oh shit, Rafe! I'm so sorry! It's all over your shirt!"
 Rafe was pissed but when you apologized and genuinely looked upset about the damage you had done, he was a bit less pissed
After all, you were trying to fix your mistake and he was touched by that fact, considering your friend group despised him
You told him you had a Tide to go stick in your backpack that was over by Kie at the campfire and he followed you
You grabbed your backpack from Kie, not wanting JJ to start shit with the kook and you and Rafe walked away from the noise of the kegger.
Rafe noticed the pins on your backpack and was interested by them, taking in each one of them as you dug through your bag
You had some pins of cartoons like Courage the Cowardly Dog, Scooby Doo, PowerPuff Girls, The Simpsons, South Park, etc. But also some random ass pins JJ pocketed from stores that he thought you’d like
But there was one pin that stood out from the rest.
A pin that was black, grey, white and purple striped
"What's that one?" He asked, pointing at it.
"Oh...uh...its the asexual flag…"
You were out but you weren’t out, if you know what I mean
The only people you came out to were JJ, John B, Pope, Kie, your parents, your ex, and Sarah after she joined the group but that's a whole different story
Your ex threatened to tell everyone on the Island after you broke up with them but after a quite successful threat from John B, Pope, JJ, and Kiara that ended with Pope (or Kie if your ex is a girl) decking them, they kept it quiet
Rafe raised an eyebrow to the new term presented to him 
"If you don't mind me asking, could you explain what that means?"
"Uhh...its the flag for asexuality…"
"I get the flag part. Just the asexual part is what I need explained to me."
You explained it to him as best as you could, but in the end you just said “I don’t desire the sexual parts of a relationship”
Rafe leaned back, completely intrigued by the fact that you had no sexual attraction 
"So asexuals just...dont really do sex."
"I mean...there's a lot more to it. There’s an entire ace spectrum and it’s a lot to break down.”
"Okay. Break it down for me."
You guys talked about the ace spectrum for 2 and a half hours before noticing that the party was dying down
You two stood up, deciding that both of you needed to find your friends before they found you and thought that Rafe assaulted you or something
"I kind of like the idea of that." "Of what?" "Being with someone who just doesn't really care about the sex part of the relationship but the other aspects of it." 
When Rafe got home that night, he watched Anthony Padilla interview asexuals and googled it as if he had an essay due the next day
He knew he wasn't ace but he found it interesting to learn about, maybe it was the thought that someone could love and care about him and not just want him for sex
When Sarah got up at 2 am for a glass of water, she saw him still up and on his phone
"Texting a booty call?" "No." "Telling a girl that last night was fun and all but if anything, you want to keep it casual?" "No, Sarah."
She walked in to look at what he was doing, only to see that he was reading an asexual article
"Either you've discovered something about yourself, which I find kind of hard to believe no offense, or you met Y/N." "I did, in fact, meet Y/N." 
He slowly started making his way up the ladder from acquaintance to friend and eventually, months later, he asked you out on a little casual at home date
JJ practically launched himself off the couch the first time Rafe walked into the chateau behind you
You quickly managed to somehow stop the blonde from getting close enough to throw a punch at the older boy
"Why is he here?" JJ asked, practically shooting daggers at the boy with his eyes. "Its fine. We're just here for my charger and then we'll be on our way, J" JJs gaze went from Rafe to you. "I'm sorry. Run that back." You grabbed JJs hand and pulled him into the kitchen as Rafe stood awkwardly in the doorway. "I promise you, he has no bad intentions. He made that clear from the start.." "You don't know his motives, Y/N, and people lie. Especially people like Rafe." JJ glanced at Rafe from where he stood. "JJ please. He's different from what you think." You begged. JJ looked at you and you gave him a little pout and the classic puppy dog eyes. JJ rubbed his hands over his face before holding them up in surrender. "Fine. Fine. But if it goes south, you better text me-" "Pecan Pie. I know. Thank you, JJ." You said before grabbing your charger from the counter and scurrying off.
The date was literally just you two in his living room with you curled up into his side as you guys watched childhood movies together
"Okay, you're up. What's a movie you watched when you were younger?" "The Great Mouse Detective." "Alright."
You two ended up falling asleep at some point during the second Mulan and Sarah came home
She had to cover her mouth with her hand to stop her herself from squealing at the fact that her horny ass brother was getting into a relationship who just didn't have the horniness
She snapped a picture and sent it to John B, who showed the rest of the Pogues and JJ felt himself smile a bit cause you looked so peaceful and content
She also sent it to Rafe 
When he woke up to see that his sister sent him a text he was annoyed at first but opened it nonetheless
He smiled when he saw the picture and immediately saved it to his camera roll
Rafe, reluctantly, woke you up to take you back to the Chateau
As the two of you talked on the porch of John B’s house, discussing details of your next date, the pogues, minus Kie, watched out the window before John B slowly opened it so he could listen
“Really? You three on going to eavesdrop on a whole conversation that doesn’t involve you?” “Kie, don’t act like your surprised by this fact.”
The night ended with Rafe kissing you cheek before getting back into his truck and pulling out of the driveway
You watched him leave as you addressed your audience
“I know you three are at the window. Stop acting like you’re discreet about it. You guys would be the worst fucking spies ever because you opened a window that hasn’t been greased in eternity so it squeaks when you open it and a spy would know better than to do that.”
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blushoseoks · 4 years
Text
GREY AREA (M) 14
“And just like that, your fate was sealed - because Min Yoongi was absolutely going to destroy you. But hell, if you weren’t going to let him, or bask happily in the flames as he did so.
And sadly, at the time, you didn’t think that your thoughts would become so literal.”
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pairing: min yoongi x reader
warnings: mature, heavy angst
genre: soulmate!au, slowburn
words: 1,752
chapter index
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Cherry blossoms bloom from their sprouts and envelope the trees above where you lay, illuminating the already orange-red leaves with even more color. 
What a shame, echoes in your head, they’ll be dying soon.
“Hey, Y/n,” a voice fills the surrounding air shared between the three of you. Looking away from where your eyes had been focused on the branches above, you turn your head towards Seokjin, cocking an eyebrow indicating for him to continue on. 
“Have you heard from Jungkook lately?” The air in your lungs lets out as he voices his question. “He’s been a bit hard to keep in contact with.”
You part your lips to let your sigh escape silently, lifting a hand you rush it through your hair, head moving to glance back upwards at the blossoms, shaking your head in the process of your statement. “No.” You say. “I haven’t.”
And it wasn’t a lie, you had not heard from Jungkook in over a week, not since the night of the party. Texts you sent went unreplied to, but certainly were read if the little R indicated anything at all. You had attempted to talk to him once after class, only for him to all but run out of the room before you had the opportunity to even approach him.
During the day you had seen him in Sociology, the younger looked worse for wear. Dark circles littered the space underneath his eyes, his brown hair went unkempt, and a blank face he had been sporting. 
It had been odd, you noted, seeing Jungkook with anything but a smile.
Whatever had happened to Jungkook, was enough for him to completely isolate himself. 
“Hm.” Seokjin says, lips moving to curl to the side as if in deep thought. “Yoongi says he hasn’t really been at their apartment all that lately either.”
The mention of the aforementioned causes another deep sigh to slide past your mouth.
You hadn’t spoken to  or even seen Yoongi since the day after the party, he had not shown up in Literature - which hadn’t really surprised you all that much. And the text he had sent you that night was the first and last you had received.
“I’m sure he’s just busy.” Namjoon voices a moment later, eyes moving from the words in his book to stare at his boyfriend, and then to where you lay in the grass. “You and Jungkook seem to have gotten closer lately, has he said anything to you? Is anything bugging him?”
And that’s just the thing- you weren’t sure. Memories of the party were still coming back, bits and pieces were making themselves known little by little - but many parts were still missing. You couldn’t be sure that Jungkook hadn’t warned you that he may be busy as of late, you couldn't be sure that Jungkook didn’t mention if something was bothering him. 
Luckily for you, Seokjin cuts in before you have to think of a response.
“--But that’s the thing, even when Jungkook is busy he’s never been one to just cut off all contact.. That’s more of  a Yoongi thing.”
There’s a moment of silence as you and Namjoon try to search for answers. Neither of you were that close with the younger, therefore neither could offer a logical reason for his sudden radio silence towards not just you - it seemed, but the entire friend group.
Seokjin lets out a distressed sigh, in which Namjoon’s hand immediately moves to run through the older’s pink locks. “I’m sure he’ll come around.. When he’s ready.”
Yeah, you say silently. Hopefully.
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Sunday [10:39 PM]
You:
Hey, I’m sorry for not messaging you sooner.. I’ve been asleep all day. What happened last night? R
Tuesday [1:12 PM]
You:
Hey, I had a question about the assignment due. Do you have time to meet for lunch? R
Thursday [2:15 PM]
You:
Did I do something wrong? R
“-- Alright, what is it?”
You glance up from where you had been absentmindedly thumbing through the same messages you had been staring at for a week straight.
“What?” You mumble out, eyes finding Yoona who sits at the opposite end of the couch. 
“Dont ‘what,’ me.Tonight was supposed to be a girls night, but I’ve spent the entirety of it looking at you wallow at your phone.. So fess up, what is it that’s got your undies in a twist?”
It takes a moment for you to soak in her sentence,  lips parting around no words as you contemplate whether you should indulge her or keep it all to yourself. 
Part of you felt guilty. You had promised Yoona an explanation for your disappearance the night and day after the party, and instead you were repaying her friendship with a half-assed night. With not an ounce of your attention.. The situation with Jungkook was driving you crazy, having someone upset with you for no known reason was something you were unfamiliar with.
You were sure you had plucked a strand of grey from your hair. 
A grey hair!
Never in your life had you felt the stress you had, ever since Jungkook had started to avoid you. 
Nevertheless, you let out a soft breath.. “I told you, Yoona.. I still don’t remember everything that happened that night.”
Her eyes narrow at you skeptically, silently letting you know that she didn’t fully believe you, not that you could blame her - even if you did remember the events of that night, the chances of you telling her were slim to none. 
“Okay fine.” She says, eyes looking like they’re about to roll out of her head. “But tell me about what happened when you woke up.”
You pull your legs up onto the couch, arms hugging around your shins as you rest your chin on your kneecaps.
“To put it bluntly, I woke up in Yoongi’s bed.”
It could be described as comical - the way Yoona’s eyes almost bug out of her head. 
“Wait..” She screeches, “Yoongi’s?” She asks, a face akin to horror shown obviously around the curve of her lips.
You decide to ignore her confusion, having no energy to explain.
“I had no recollection of how I got there. None..” You shake your head, “Then as I was leaving their apartment, he shows up.”
“Wait.” She says, still appalled. “Yoongi’s bed? Like - the one that isn’t very friendly -- has sort of a resting bitch face? Hardly talks? That Yoongi? His bed?”
“Yoona,” you say, “focus.”
Her lips form around a silent o, as she tries to take in the information handed to her. “Okay..” she urges you to continue. She gathers her legs, bending them behind her so she can sit on the back of her knees.
“Anyway,” you start, “he offered to buy me food since I hadn’t eaten in hours, and I accepted, thinking he could give me some information. We went out to this little diner.”
You watch as her lips purse, her eyes pulling together. 
“So, did you ask him how you came about ending up in his bed?”
“I did.”
“And?” 
You let out another sigh. “He said he found me asleep in some bedroom at the party.”
She’s silent for a moment, you watch as the confusion continues to spread across her face. 
“Any idea whose?”
You lift your shoulders upwards in a shrug. “Some friend of  Jungkook’s.. Yoongi says he found me asleep with Jungkook.”
She lets out a breath, one that seems a little like relief. 
“Alright, that, I’m not surprised by.”You want to scold her for making light of the subject, “-but I am confused as to why Yoongi took you to their apartment and not your own. And why he didn’t leave you alone with Jungkook?”
You shrug, letting out another sigh. “I asked him, he said he wanted to make sure that I was safe.” Your eyes fall down to where you’ve interlocked your fingers together, lips parting as you recount the story Yoongi had told you. 
The realization that he had wanted you safe, brings the smallest of smiles onto your lips.
In a small voice, you speak, “he said I didn’t have my key on me and he didn’t know if Hoseok and Taehyung would be home to let me in.”
You watch her teeth bite her bottom lip as she’s silent for a few moments - moments that for some reason, put you on edge. Your anxiety raises a little bit. She studies you - expressionless. And then after what seems like minutes, she finally speaks, thumbnail brushing across her bottom lip.
“Alright.. Hear me out, okay?” Her eyebrows uplift, you swallow the building lump in your throat, but nevertheless nod.
“Remember how I told you I thought Jungkook had a crush on you, and Seokjin basically confirmed that?”
You nod. recalling the conversation that had revealed that truth.Seokjin had basically confirmed it, and you were still trying to figure out how that made you feel, nevertheless whether at all it was possible or not.
“Well, you started the night out in bed with Jungkook-” you grimace-  “do not give me that look, I’m not judging just stating facts - but, you ended up in Yoongi’s bed. So let’s say that Jungkook wakes up to find you gone, he panics and tries to call you, no answer. Then, he gets to his apartment and for some reason goes into Yoongi’s room - and sees you in Yoongi’s bed..”
She trails off suddenly, hand moving to steady her chin as her elbow digs into her thigh. 
“Maybe he thinks something happened between you and Yoongi, he’s either jealous or angry, and that’s why he’s behaving towards you the way that he is.”
You take a moment to soak in her words.Contemplate whether it made sense or not. The thought of Jungkook completely ignoring you due to his own assumptions didn’t make a lot of sense to you, it didn’t seem characteristically accurate for him to do something so petty. And, if you remembered correctly he hadn’t attempted to call you that night nor the next morning.
“I’d like to think that Jungkook knows me better than to--”
You’re interrupted by a well manicured finger swaying in the air. “Baby, when it comes to feelings all logic is tossed out the window.”
You unravel your arms from around your legs as you allow yourself to relax into the back of the couch, head moving back and chin tilting so you’re staring up at the ceiling. “I don’t like that.”
“Most of us don’t.” Yoona says around a melancholy snicker.
You let your eyes fall on your female friend. “What do I do now? He won’t answer my texts and he all but runs whenever he sees me.”
You watch as she visibly contemplates this for a moment, pink tinted lips rubbing together. 
“Maybe this is something he’ll come to you with.. Eventually.”
“So I give him time?” 
The thought of not talking to Jungkook for even longer makes something swell up inside of your chest. Something twisted and revolting. Something you cant quite pinpoint.
She nods, moving a hand to rest over your own, as if she can somehow view the inner turmoil this causes within you. “Sometimes time is the only thing a person truly needs.” Her voice is soft, comforting.
And though she is speaking about Jungkook, her words resonate with you. 
If Jungkook needed time - you’d give it to him, just like you had done the same with Yoongi, even if it made you feel sick inside. 
You hadn’t known Jungkook for long, but the boy had seemed to wrap himself around a place in your heart. 
If only time could explain why the knot you had felt in your chest for a week hadn’t disappeared but only intensified as the days went on..
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[a/n] it’s been a long, long, long, long time. :( i am sorry this is little and short compared to past chapters, i just thought you guys deserved something. i love you, still. <3 as always, feedback is truly appreciated... if anyone is still reading or still there.
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eliyah-de-dark · 4 years
Text
Two Lies and A Truth part 2
Turns out the Startrain can get a person from London to Paris in what feels like a matter of minutes. Marinette waited on the platform, alone in a crowd of commuters, with her wide brim hat pulled down low over her face. She wore her hair down, a countermeasure against any old friends who might recognize her style, and opted for an equally unfamiliar white and pink sundress. She'd originally made it for her dream date with Adrien. Now it would meet one of the only friends she had left.
The train from London pulled in, and Felix Graham de Vanily was the first off. He wore his signature dark gray three piece suit, a white shirt making his skin seemed more tanned. He scanned the crowd, forcing people to move around him as his vibrant green eyes searched for her.
She wove a path through the crowd and grabbed his hand. "Hey," she said weakly.
He froze, taking in her changed appearance before speaking. "Your hair looks nice." He touched just the tip of her blue hair, admiring the length. "What prompted the change?"
Marinette's smile dropped. "Don't want to be recognized." Her voice was almost imperceptible in the din of the station.
The pair walked out hand in hand, Felix's heart racing where Marinette's barely caught her attention. Together they wove their way through Paris. Their only pause was with Andre Glacier to get ice cream, Andre's idea not theirs. Finally their meandering brought them to the bakery where they first truly met.
Sabine and Tom waved to the kids as they went up into the apartment. Marinette noticed her mother's calculating look while Felix caught her father's questioning gaze. The young man thought their journey would end in the living room, but Marinette kept his hand in her own until they'd climbed up into her pink painted room. The walls were nearly bare, with the crumpled up pictures of Adrien in her waste basket. Felix took good note of that.
In the safety of her room, Marinette started talking. She repeated a lot of what Felix already knew: how her class had been turned, how the teacher punished her when it wasn't her fault, about how she had only 3 people left in the whole city she could trust. When she brought up the arrival of Suzette, he could tell from the stormy expression of her face that this girl did more than bother Marinette.
"What do you care if she's Ladybug?" Felix asked, waving his hand as if to present the situation on a platter. "Sounds like she'll prove herself wrong soon enough."
"But she's put the entire school in danger!" Marinette cried. She slumped onto her chaise and sighed. "If Hawkmoth thinks anyone in François Dupont is his arch nemesis..." She didn't finish the sentence. She didn't have to. Felix had seen the chaos akumas caused, and if it weren't for the Ladybug Cure, everyone in Paris would be dead ten times over.
He nodded, and Marinette sighed with relief. She wanted to tell him the real reason, that she was the one suffering stolen identity here, but she couldn't. She thought of Master Fu's threat. Being Ladybug was stressful, sure, but it was one of the best things in her life right now.
Their phones buzzed simultaneously. Felix had his out first, sparing Marinette the trouble. Nadia Chamack's face filled the screen completely. "Don't be bemused, it's just the news. On this special report, we have Alya Cesaire live in our studio to talk about a remarkable post she's put on her Ladyblog." The camera switched to show the red haired girl Marinette used to call friend. As the audience applauded, the pair in a pink room sat on Marinette's chaise.
"Thanks for having me, Madame Chamack." At least she had her manners. "I'm a big fan of yours."
Nadja laughed and made a little dismissive gesture. "If you're a fan of mine, then you know here at the station we love our Ladybug, and your blog has been a key source of information on her. Let's show the audience what you posted today that's sweeping our city!"
Nadia's large screens showed Alya close up in the frame, breathing heavily. "How unbecoming." Felix scrunched his nose in disgust while Marinette laughed.
The video showed Alya rushing back to her seat where across from her sat...Ladybug? The costume was fairly well made, superior to Chloe's in many ways. There was still the glaring issue of a zipper on the back and her mask slowly dropping on the left side.
The two began talking like old friends, Alya crediting Lila for getting the interview squared away. Felix watched Marinette as her face switched from shock to horror.
Once the Ladybug interview had wrapped up, Nadja began asking questions about the whos, whats, wheres and whens of the impromptu video. "Lila, my best friend," Alya emphasized that title like she knew Marinette was watching, "promised me an interview with LB, and it turns out Ladybug is wonderful in and out of costume!" She pasted a surprised look on her face and murmured, "Oh, I shouldn't have said that." in such a perfect copy of Lila that Marinette searched for a wig line or something.
"In and out of costume? Does that mean - hold on, you know who Ladybug is?" Nadja had real shock on her face, and if the camera had turned then Felix imagined the audience would have that same look too.
Alya smiled sweetly. "I couldn't say."
The interview continued, but Felix set his phone away. Marinette was shaking now, and he put an arm around her. She leaned on his shoulder, her body slowing to matching his heartbeat. He rested his head on top of hers and took a deep breath. She smelled like strawberries, glue, and mint.
Now he jumped up and paced. Her eyes followed back and forth as he moved, pausing every so often to muse on a particular idea.
"I've got it." He smiled, a devious grin that split his face like a demon.
Marinette listened with rapt attention.
-
"Blast Master, I am Hawkmoth. You want to expose the truth about Lila Rossi and save your friend. I'm giving you the power to control explo-"
"That's a no on the name."
"I beg your pardon?"
"Then beg."
"...what is happening?"
"Listen, you're right about why I'm pissed, and I'll gladly take the explosion power, but I'm not calling myself Blast Master."
"I...suppose?"
"Excellent, glad we're on the same page."
-
Suzette Lambert basked in the attention of her schoolmates like a cat basks in the sun. Lila was right, she mused, these idiots are too easy. Only two weeks and she had near god like worship. She almost didn't regret transferring out of her private English school.
The two people who didn't immediately succumb to her will were Chloe Bourgeois and Marinette Dupain-Cheng. Chloe made snide comments here and there but hardly went toe to toe with the new queen of the school. It helped that literally anytime she tried, either that nuisance Alya would snap at her or the teacher would gently redirect the class.
Her teal eyes caught sight of the little pariah, who'd snuck in early and taken her spot at the farthest desk in the room. Marinette never spoke. Not even when the teacher called on her. When she'd asked, Lila bemoaned, "Oh Mari? She's just the worst. She's always so mean to me and everyone hates her for it. I wouldnt even bother talking to her."
Suzette couldn't say it was hard to get on Lila's bad side, but that seemed a bit extreme. It all made sense after her little "slip-up" though.
It was the Italian's idea to say she was the heroine. "Trust me, no one will even question it." As much as Suzette hated to admit it, Lila was right. Everyone latched onto the biggest lie of her life and now the royal treatment was just a standard. The only bad reaction she got was Dupain-Cheng running out of the room. That was weird on so many levels, but Suzette ignored it.
Class was going smoothly until the volley of ringtones interrupted the lesson.
"An akuma?"
"It's just down the street!"
"Hold up Alix, let me see!"
Suzette checked her phone, lazily scanning the report of a dancing harlequin-style akuma moving steadily towards François Dupont.
"Go suit up, Suzette!"
She looked at Alya with a tired expression. "What?"
The reporter pointed her cellphone at Suzette. "Don't you need to transform? To defeat the akuma?" Her quizzical look spread like a virus through the class.
"I can't." She needed to think, quick. "The Guardian took my miraculous for safe keeping." She mentally congratulated herself for the excuse.
Nino spoke up next. "Why?"
"Repairs."
"Why would a miraculous need repairs?" And why was Kim of all people chiming in?
"Oh puh-lease." Now came Chloe Bourgeois. She sat on her desk and ignored Madame Bustier's reprimand as she continued. "Obviously she can't because she isn't Ladybug." Sabrina nodded vigorously, the nasty little cockroach.
Alya naturally spoke next, loud enough to give the queen standing next to her a headache. "No one asked you, Chloe." She snapped. "Why dont you keep your opinions to yourself?"
"Why dont you you little gossip rag wannabe?"
Wow, Suzette thought. That's an interesting shade of red in Alya's face.
Chloe turned those sky blue eyes back to her rival. "What form does your miraculous take? Or better yet, what's mine?" She leaned forward, her head tilted as if to listen for an answer.
Suzette crossed her arms. "Why would I care about yours?"
"Because you're the one that gives it to me, Ladybug. And I know for a fact if you were the real Ladybug, you would've kept your mouth closed about your identity."
No one noticed Marinette in the back of the room staring wide eyed at Chloe.
"Who are you to talk to me like that?!" Suzette yelled. Lila grabbed her arm, locking her in place. "You're just the mayor's spoiled brat who only cares about herself!" Chloe smiled at Suzette's words. The audacity.
"Maybe, but at least I'm honest."
Another insult began forming in the mind of the false Ladybug when the door came off its hinges with an explosion.
((@goblinwhoships @ml-cartoons @enchanted-nerd since you three specifically requested being tagged, here you go))
((Yeah so people really seemed to like part one. That's pretty hekking neat. Hopefully part 2 can live up to the hype))
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insidetheacademy · 4 years
Text
Say You Love Me
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pairings: Peter Parker x Reader (peter and reader are both 18+)
summary: in which reader wants Peter but Peter is happy in his relationship
warnings: angst angst angst and bad writings
gif credits: tomholland (i cant tag them:-(!)
part ii  part iii part iv part v
-
the birds were chirping outside of my apartment signaling to the flocks of other birds to go home as the sun was going to set. you were sitting on the couch with your phone in hand scrolling through instagram when a message notification dinged and it read a familiar name “peepee”. you read the message and it said “what are you up to?”, you hover your thumb to the notification and send a quick reply “hello to you too– i’m currently on my couch just hanging. how about you, spiderboy?”.
surprisingly after a few seconds he replied, it wasnt quite like him to reply fast enough due to him patrolling often when the sun goes down but you guessed maybe he’s taking a break from it.
“do you maybe want to eat sushi? i’m super hungry,” he said, you then shoot back “sure why not. i’ll meet you at our usual spot,”. your phone dinged yet again but you didnt need to look at it as it would probably be him saying okay.
you went to your wardrobe and picked out a black top with a pair of jeans nothing too flashy. you wouldnt want to dress up just for some silly “eating with your friend” kind of date plus you knew that Peter would dress down anyway so why not do the same? after you grabbed your bag and your phone you headed out to meet Peter.
*・゜゚・*:.。..。.:*・'(*゚▽゚*)'・*:.。. .。.:*・゜゚・*
as you walked into the sushi restaurant, you stopped to search for Peter, your eyes then stopped when you saw a brunette boy with the biggest grin who’s sitting at a table next to the sushi counter waving at you. you head over to him and exchanged hi’s.
“how’s it going, spider boy?” you asked cheekishly, he rolled his eyes and replied “the same old same old. Aunt May’s out of town for the next few days,” you nodded in response. “i must say, tonight you’re looking quite marvelous,” he said sarcastically not knowing the butterflies in your stomach that he just set free. you sticked out your tongue at him and say “you’re not being slick, Parker,” he laughed it off and continue to look at the menu. the waiter then came to take your order.
once the both of your orders came, the both you digged in straight away. the whole time they were eating it was filled with laughters, chewed food shown on your tongue to him and light conversations. after you were done eating, you split the bills.
whilst walking back home, he asked you “hey, y/n, how do i ask a girl out?” you laughed at him and said “i dont know, Pete?? i guess try giving her flowers and then hit her with the big ol’ question.” he nodded mentally taking note eventhough it was so simple an ant could remember it. you hoped and pray that this girl is you.
you were curious to know who was this girl, you tried asking him but he said its a surprise. you would’ve thought that you stopped here but oh no, you tried pushing Peter into spilling it but he refused to do so.
*・゜゚・*:.。..。.:*・'(*゚▽゚*)'・*:.。. .。.:*・゜゚・*
it was 8am on a Saturday and your phone was vibrating so loud. what an annoying sound you thought to yourself, trying to get back to sleep as it would most probably some unknown caller. it stopped. well, for awhile then it got to ringing again, frustratedly you got out of bed to look at your phone and it was Peter calling.
“you better have some good explanation on why you’re calling me at 8am on a Saturday, Parker.” you said sternly to him to which then he respond with “uh, yeah, so i’m trying to buy flowers for the girl i’m asking to prom and i don’t know what kind of flowers are girls into,” you mentally palm yourself to his idiocy and replied “get a rose. its cliché but its kinda romantic in a way, i guess,” how the hell were you supposed to know what other girls like? all you know was that you liked sunflowers and allisium. so you asked him to get the most basic flower, a rose. he thanked you and immediately end the call. great! now you can go back to sleep.
time skipped to 8pm, you were lying on you bed just listening to a song by Heart Attack Man. you were just vibing to the song when the doorbell rang. you paused the song and went straight to the door. you opened the door to meet a brown eyes and a curly haired boy, he was smiling like crazy. you looked at him weird, “what’s up, Parker?” he then proceed to hug you and he literally squealed “I asked Jane to go to out and she said yes!” your heart shattered to million pieces.
not gonna lie, you thought he was gonna ask you. i guess he was still pretty clueless about your feelings towards him. he went on and on and on about Jane’s reaction when he asked her. you couldnt do anything except smiled and nodded at him. though it was breaking your heart you couldnt do anything.
*・゜゚・*:.。..。.:*・'(*゚▽゚*)'・*:.。. .。.:*・゜゚・*
it has been a year since Jane and Peter are a thing. ever since he has gotten together with Jane, Peter had bailed you so many times. it happened frequently to the point where you had stopped texting him altogether.
you tried moving on, tried going on dates with loads of people. even people who are not your type. well eventually you found one guy, his name was Sam. he was actually kinda perfect but you broke things off with him but the feeling was mutual. you both decided that the both of you are too busy.
you were walking at a park when you saw Peter with a girl beside him. he caught your eye and gave you the hugest smile ever. you noticed his familiar warm smile but you chose to ignore it and look at the opposite direction. “y/n, wait up!” you immediately stopped in your tracks as he stop running to you taking a deep breath, you look at him pitifully.
he asked you the usual catching up stuffs. you were trying hard to not cry when Jane came to him and greet him “hey babe! who’s this?” Peter then introduced you to Jane “Jane this is y/n. my best friend.” you exchanged smiles with Jane, she then said to Peter “i gotta go home now, babe. i got work tomorrow.” they pecked each other on the lips before she goes and you wanted to puke.
you were awfully silent when you’re with him, he couldnt help but noticed it “is everything alright, y/n? you’re not your usual self.” you wanted to cry at his words. you try to control yourself and try to tell him the truth, “can I be honest with you Pete?” he nodded frantically and you continued “i... i kinda like you. i have always liked you since high school. i want you for all of my life. i had someone during the time we stopped talking, but everytime he kisses me, i wish it was you. everytime he hugs me, all i could think about was your-“ Peter cuts you off with a stern voice “thats enough,”
you were taken aback by his voice and the fact that he cuts you off mid sentence. you looked at him trying to hold back the tears, “y/n, look, i like you too but as a friend. i’m happy now with Jane and i wouldnt change it for the world. i am sorry that you like me but you have to find another.” you winced at the words that he said and you couldnt help but walk away.
you were sobbing absentmindedly on your bed, holding to your dear heart. this is what you expected him to say. this is what you had expected to happened. it was all like a nightmare. you pinched yourself so many times wishing that it was to wake up in his arms while they were cuddling watching a boring movie but it isnt and you had to accept it.
*・゜゚・*:.。..。.:*・'(*゚▽゚*)'・*:.。. .。.:*・゜゚・*
a/n; feedbacks are welcomed!! and so are questions!’ everythinge is welcome, i am so bored with locking myself for another 2 weeks!!!
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selfcareparker · 3 years
Note
yesss the letter format 💝💓💘💖💞💕💖💞💓 (lovely anon)
my dearest aria (a hamilton reference lmao),
i’m home alone (bc i wanted the house alone to get my head together after my brothers were mean to me 🙃) and i’m so hype LMAO but i’m watching chloe x halle’s tiny desk concert and honestly just vibing. (this is so random) besides zendaya like they are my badass black women role models. my one accomplishment would be to learn to body roll like them LMAO
oh nevermind i can’t have anything nice, my dad just came home 🙃 WHAT A WAY TO START OFF THIS ASK WTFFF
i’m liking tfatws, the second episode was veryyy intense imo but WANDAVISION IS SO GOOD😭 i knew it was going to be my favorite from the really old trailer but it’s really good and i promise it’s not just sitcoms, girl especially cuz you’ll have all the episodes already out- we were having to wait every week😭 BUT ITS SO GOOD I PROMISE HDJSHDJSH lmao reading this i was like “i- the episodes aren’t an hour long” but i feel that, it’s hard for me to watch tfatws bc they are an hour long and i’m like 😐 but wandavision episodes are less than 30mins bc I KID YOU NOT they have the damn 10 MINUTE CREDITS DHDJSJ no i don’t think we’ve talked about this b4 lol but it all depends on the series for me. i binged love island uk in less than a week bc i was so invested and LITERALLY LOVE IT but uh those episodes are like an hour and a half, but say i was binging tfatws (it’s so hard to type that ohmigosh) i honestly would not be able to do it bc of the intensity (you may be like what intensity but if you’ve seen episode 2 by the time you’re reading this.......... isaiah and the scene afterwards is all i have to say, esp me being black it was so tough :/)
girl you’re fine, as long as you’ve experienced it once hahaha i think the reason why it’s so important to my family (this letter feels so personal and extreme HSJSJA IM SORRY) is bc my grandmother loved it and in my family i guess it’s just important to us lol like my mom and dad love it too and we have the literal VHS tapes LMAO, but it only came up recently cuz my youngest brother was watching lion guard HAHA and he wanted to see the originals :) and fun fact (unless you already know) but there’s a lion king part 2 and 1 1/2 and i have all three ON VHS HAHAHA but i love lion king 1 duh (the og) but part two’s music and love story..... is so good. anyway. 🦁
I WAS THINKING THE SAME THING DURING THE WHOLE MOVIE THEATER ENCOUNTER THING HAHAHA AND WHEN SHE WAS SAYING AWKWARD I WAS LIKE WTF THE NOISE LMAOOOO i don’t think there’s a better way to describe that whole situation than ZKDHDJSHAJAJSHDJSNAHA. yeah. yeaaaa at the cinemas (i like the word cinema more than movies 🥰) here they have chips (fries), some have ice cream, nachos, drinks, hot dogs, the cinema we were at had pretzels and like BURGERS I WAS LIKE HUH OKAY and ya know obviously popcorn but i don’t know why the theaters (or cinemas) here do that, it started a long time ago though like yearsssss
PLEASE i have the longest movie watchlist and uhh haven’t seen any of them JDJSKA (istg i use HSJSSKSH as a period - like . ) i’m still hype for cherry but very hesitant (idk if i can handle it) but i’m thinking about watching it in the next couple of weeks? i know it’ll take me forever bc i’m gonna have to keep pausing and shit but idk. i’ve asked around for very specific trigger warnings and time stamps so i REALLY know what’s coming (even if it spoiled the film a bit for me) but i do really wanna see it (i think? writing this now i’m not so sure lol) so whooooooo really knows lol, but chaos walking YES i was really excited about it :))) and about my friend uhh dude you don’t sound mean at all i was literally thinking the same thing but worse HAAKL idk what she was there for???? she bought my ticket tho so 💁🏾‍♀️ whatever
“SIMS ahh, BUNK BEDS ahh” had me cracking up lmao and you know my sims status JAJAHHAJ but i’m gonna become like you, saving every 5 minutes 😭 but that’s exactly what happened to me, i really didn’t know whether to shut it off or not but after 2 hours i was heartbroken lol i’m literally making a list of things i need to redo that wasn’t saved lmao
CAN I JUST SAY UR A MASTERMIND THOUGH??? UR SIMS GAME SOUNDS SO *chefs kiss* IM CRINE university is PAINFULLY long and LITERALLY I FEEEL THAT like you can’t do anything else without failing, i had my sim go to a party once for like a few hours and i felt so dumb afterwards like urgh he should’ve been studying LMAOO just cracking down on work honestly. UR NEIGHBOR!AU IN THE SIMS PLEASEEE i am very much in love with it, yes. (pouring rain has just suddenly begun where i am rn wow ok) i love that you put them on the same lot, that was really really smart and i love that ur living out your sexuality in the sims😭 i was abt to say “now you can say you’ve got experience bc of the sims” but ANYWAY IGNORE ME fhdhs THE ALIEN BABY DHSJSK i hope it’s not a dealbreaker for enisa. that’d be tragic. IM BACK IN UPPERCASE THO BC YES MAKING OUT IN THE SIMS IS SO HOT TO ME??? I THOUGHT I WAS THE ONLY ONE STFU OH MY GOSH- all the stuff, whispering sweet nothings, and the making out, and JUST ALL OF IT!!! AM I TOUCH STARVED????? there was this time i made my sim just continue to woohoo bc it was turning me on big time. ANYWAY
half way through that i had to go to my grandmothers house (not the one that likes lion king, but uh hmm idk if you remember but i was talking abt my shit family so yeah that grandmother lol) so now i’m finishing this 🥴 and instead of chloe x halle i’m watching a tom interview lmao & if this takes me longer than 30 minutes.... imma cry
I REALLY WANNA ASK- IS IT BC UR GERMAN LIKE YOU CAN JUST WRITE OUT THAT LONG ASS WORD???? i mean i can’t write out supercalafrag- anyway, but that word is a bit nonsense, UR WORD IS A REAL WORD DUDE HDJSHS i love how ur like “maybe i mixed up these words” YEA OK.
lol i had to google what are waveformers lol (lol makes a comeback) and they look like curlers that you would sleep in (here we would call them curlers or uhm i forgot uhhhhhhh rollers i think) but ur fine when am i ever making sense?? i think the best part about these is the chaos yet we understand what the other means 😌
H20 H20 H20 OH MY GOODNESS SHE BROUGHT UP H20 OK MY LIFE WAS H20🥲 I HAVE THEIR LOCKET NECKLACE AND (short storytime) when i was younger i thought they were american despite their accents (idk i was dumb) but then i figured they weren’t when lewis went to go study in america HAHAH ALSO FAVORITE COUPLE CLEO AND LEWIS UGH WATCH ME REWATCH THE SHOW NOW THANKS (also i hated elizabeth so much) but anyway back on topic, when lewis went to go study in the US i looked up where the show took place and all that good stuff and i found out they were australian HAHAH and that started my obsession with accents LMAO the uk :’)) (i’m proofreading AND AUSTRALIA IS NOT A PART OF THE UK LMAOO IM SOO DHSJSSHS) also it is now one of my many goals (besides the body roll HAHAH) to go to mako island (that’s what it’s called right??)
about music, i googled stormzy and i might listen to a song of his.. LOL I WANNA GIVE IT A TRY IMMA DO IT FOR YOU NFDVSFSG lmaoo the german rapper had me cackling (autocorrect once again being helpful and said raper and i’m like nOO) i mean we all have that one person. can’t lie, won’t lie. my one (IM SORRY BUT AUTOCORRECT HAD “MY ONE TRUE ACCOMPLISHMENT” SITTING AND READY HDJSJA I DONT EVEN TYPE THAT wHAT) person out of my white soft boy with brown hair and brown eyes type would beeeee pete davidson. love me some petey. i was gonna say rex orange county as well lmao but i don’t really loveeee him i’m just in love with his music... and wanna be friends with him..... so 👉🏾👈🏾 (i never do that fdshsh)
oh my goodness, i love tattoos too- GASP what are you thinking of getting 🥺 i want tattoos too but i’m too indecisive to figure out what to have & where. especially in my family... idk they aren’t frowned upon but my mom’s not applauding the thought lol, if i got one it would have to be meaningful but i am absolutely in love with (for example) ariana grande’s finger tattoos !! they’re so cute and simple :’) i don’t even know if i can get tattoos? my skin is... interesting. not in a bad way!! just like.... idk how to explain it??? keyloids run in the family & i got a piercing once and it got infected soo :/ the doctor also confirmed that if i wanted tattoos they couldn’t be in color so LMAO
ONCE AGAIN THIS WHOLE THING FEELS SO TMI DHSHSSJ IM LIKE OHMIGOSH SHUT UP SHE DOESNT CARE JESJSKS
in regards to you not sleeping, i wanted to mention that dumb bird, what was the reason it was up so early aT 4AM???? SIR WHO YOU CALLING TO??? also it’s 11:30pm and idk why i’m tired???
yeah i was never SUPER into justin so i don’t know exactly what albums you’re talking about lol, i do know yummy though.. but everyone did hahaha also i listen to so much pop 🙈 i mean maybe... idk what would count as pop and what wouldn’t. that new person feeling though.. i get that. it’s like who is this new person..? i kinda feel like that with taylor swift (i was never THAT into her either though so it’s like oh wait i didn’t know you from the beginning instead of hello old friend but you’re different lol)
about the concerts, thanks 🥰🥰 that’s so sweet what you did for your mom too, it’s nice seeing them so happy like 🥲 awh AND GLEE IS AND WAS MY LIFE FOR A V V LONG TIME, i’ve been meaning to rewatch it for the longest time lmaooo but i’m just so lazy and it’s such a commitment... i’ll have to get emotionally involved again and idk if i want that rn. but i have a friend on instagram and she runs a glee fan account and it’s such a big part of her life i really don’t think i could ever be THAT obsessed with something. like another one of my friends loves tom holland so much that she changed her mom’s name in her phone to what tom’s mom’s name is in his phone (that was confusing lol) and obviously i’m not judging them AT ALL, it just couldn’t be me lol
CONCERTS LOOK LIKE SO MUCH FUN 😩😩 LIKE THE EXPERIENCE AND THE FEELINGGG URGHSJS i wanna see a few people live like ari and chloe x halle and- hmm.... idk who else FJDSJ rex orange county i guess huh anyway, the experience just sounds so amazing and the atmosphere is just ✨✨✨ yeah
aria do it do it do it do it do it- watch hamilton!! but with subtitles bc you won’t catch half of the things they’re saying without them LMAO (me and my family watched it and they all didn’t like it bc they didn’t know what was happening lol) BUT DONT WATCH IT AT 4AM LMAO ITS LITERALLY 3 HOURS LONG
yes!! superior peter fics 🥺🥺🥺🥺 and it just shows how much of an incredible writer AND PERSON you are through your fics that you can turn a blurb into 2k....... like what.
LMAO the annoying thing, sometimes i feel like i’m bothering people (like right now HAHAH) but i think it’s my antisocial side being like yeaa no one wants to talk to you like you wanna talk to them :’) idk it’s strange!! sometimes i get really ✨insecure✨ and overthink everything LOL like is this too long, im talking too much, i’m swearing too much, oh lord i’m a pain, all that good shit lmao so that’s fun:))
ALSO YOUR BLOG IS SO FUN TO ME HAHAK LIKE ITS JUST YOUR OWN AND I LOVE THAT!!! like you talk about everything and anything on here lol,, and i say that bc what you said lmao how if i was someone else i would want to fuck me so bad😭 i honestly don’t understand how i don’t have people lining up though..... but if no one’s gonna tell you... then you tell yourself, period (and sometimes telling yourself is fucking yourself HSHAJKS OK NEXT)
ohmigosh the realization you had that you graduated last year and are going to uni this year🤧 but the fact that you had a teacher who LEFT THE GROUP CHAT bc she was mad at y’all i- 😭 but yeah about your maths (i always wondered why you guys call it maths and the US calls it math. like i know so many people out of the states, not just in the uk that say maths) teacher- i saw this post that said online school is looking a lot like dora the explorer😭😭 “you have any questions?” 🦗 “okay bye then” lmao and please i love when tests have nothing to do with what you studied like ??? thanks? sometimes i get scared that my teacher will somehow find out that i googled everything? or like my answer is too close to the answer sheet or something. i get sooo nervous lol but i’m already past that point of not being able to do anything myself DHJS i mean i’m still learning like i said!! read the question, read the answer. boom. now i know the answer to the question and i learned!
THANKS 🙈🥰🤧 idk how else to explain my feelings LMAO i feel it’s cool that you find my dance lessons and voice lessons cool so thanks :’)
oh god not headache season 😭😭 allergies are the worst like it’s not even funny. is headache season just when the seasons are changing or is it like... all throughout the summer? cuz i love the summer lmaoo i love the winter too but i just love wearing as little clothes as possible LMAO
GIRL IF THAT BIRD DONT STOP CHIRPING- i am 100% convinced that it is the same bird trying to give you headaches and no sleep and it needs to stfu 😤 and pLEASE ur theme is adorable and pretty and cute but also it just feels like you? idk if i’m explaining this right or if it’s bc i’ve been talking to you for a bit but it’s cute but not innocent in a way that i’m surprised that you write smut and- yeah, that didn’t make sense!! but ur new theme is gonna look pretty too and as long as you like it, it’ll be amazing🥰
yessssss the fact that megan is gonna be ur pfp YES JUST YES
edit: ok i just need to 🥺😭 sometimes u make me wanna cry cuz i feel like you’re just a kind person. i truly mean this, the fact that you celebrate yours & others stretch marks makes me so 🥺🥺🥺 i honestly don’t know anyone who has said they want need more stretch marks and it’s just all very lovely to me :’)) OKAY IMMA STOP BEING SAPPY
#yes my fake tags are back #by popular demand #aka me #and look i have actual tags this time! #i’m seriously craving water ice rn....... huh #but it’s past midnight and i fr fr want a snack #aw man #i wrote that last paragraph while doing my tags yes #and i hope you become responsible for that anon’s orgasm #assuming they had one #and i saw your response to the tom thing and yeaa when they only look like that for something and it’s like aw bae be yourself #i’m gonna shut up now and find a snack but goodnight!! morning?? IDK #IF THESE TAGS END UP AS ACTUAL TAGS I AM SO SORRY HAHAHA #alright proofreading done and i’m gonna go eat cereal
okay i‘m on my way to a driving lesson rn and afterwards i have a zoom uni thing, and then another uni thing lmao. but hopefully i can reply to this in between because i‘ve been dying to talk to you since i got this ask dldjds💘💘💘 (i really like this heart. i had a 💖 phase for a while and now it‘s 💘 (seems like a very romantic heart but.... it is what it is idk dkddj)
^okay that was literally all i wrote before my lesson lmfao. just had the worst driving lesson ever dbdvsnylkxsksj i think i‘ve gotten too used to being good at driving and now i‘ve gotten too cocky with it 🥴 anyway i‘ve had such a stressful day and overall week but tbh i‘m already feeling better bc i can (indirectly) talk to you <333
omg i went to chloe or halle (i don‘t remember who out of the two)‘s instagram the other day and found out that they are not twins alejeleksjsksj but yes oh my god their voices are literally angelic and i can‘t wait to see Halle as Ariel (Arielle??)🥰 and omg it‘s literally 2021 and we‘ve only had......... one(?) black Disney Princess like it‘s about fucking time (I might be forgetting someone, I‘m not too familiar with the new Disney films, but as far as I remember there‘s only Tiana right? (who is literally a frog for 3/4 of the film 😭😭) so yes i‘m here for it too😌😌😌 (obviously she‘s not a cartoon like tiana ekdlek but she‘s a disney princess you know what i mean ddkjdh)
pfkejdj i‘m already overwhelmed with my parents i can‘t imagine having siblings too 😭😭 (sometimes i wish i had siblings but then other times (like after reading what you wrote dksjj) i‘m glad that i‘m an only child lmao like your brothers being mean to you and i remember when you cried and he was just like 👁👄👁 ok. like i’m totally okay being an only child sksjsj———and he doesn‘t listen to music 🤧🤧🤧 (although i guess that‘s good for you because at least he can‘t annoy you by listening to loud music that you hate dmdn)
okay okay i might watch wandavision then??? I‘ll definitely let you know!!! and yes omg i‘m loving tfatws (that really is so fucking hard to type omg) but same i totally get what you mean, i‘m not used to watching action series at all and every episode so far has been like a little movie so i‘m glad that i didn‘t wait until it was all out cause there’s no way i could binge watch that lol) and yes last episode was really intense. i‘m glad that marvel are talking about racism because (from what i‘ve seen) they haven‘t been the best in that department, and i‘m really curious to see what they‘ll do in the next episodes (curious isn‘t the right word but excited isn‘t the right wort either, like i‘m excited but in a neutral way ? i‘ll shut up dslsksj i hate that german has so many words that you cant translate because theres a really good german word that describes how i’m feeling but i cant think of a good translation ugh)
okay i absolutely need to watch lion king (and part 2 and 1/ 1/2 dksksj) AND hamilton, i might even do it soon 👀
BURGERS AT THE CINEMA? EBEEISNDBEKSK i‘ll come to the US just to go and watch a movie lmaooo, i think all the popcorn sizes and drinks are bigger as well, i‘ll come and watch chaos walking with you 😌😌 does next week work?
and yeah i‘ve seen posts with specific time stamps and trigger warning for cherry too so if you haven’t looked on tumblr yet i’ve def seen some! (but ive also seen some on twitter and yeah- i mean idk youve probably looked on tumblr but yeah- then there’s also imdb which doesn’t have time stamps i believe but quite specific warnings, mostly without spoilers!)
Tbh i don‘t think i would have even considered watching cherry if tom wasn‘t in it... (i’m personally fine with most of the triggering topics/things like for some reason i’m just stoic when i’m watching the most tragic films ever dldldldlbut the plot just... idk if it‘s for me you know? just entertainment wise?).... and even with tom in it i‘m unsure skeldls, i‘d totally get if you decide not to watch it but let me know if you do i‘d want to hear your thoughts! <3
SKSLSJJ my sims both finally graduated!! i think i played sometime last week, and i literally got the achievement/notification that i‘d been playing with this household for 24hours.... and that was BEFORE they graduated dldjdldkdksjjs
oh no my tumblr broke and three paragraphs of me talking about sims were deleted 😭😭😭
WAIT NO I TOOK SCREENSHOTSSKSK because i couldn’t press save so i knew they might be gone okay okay okay i‘m a genius
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*move out
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oh no idk if the quality is too bad to read... idk how good your eyes are dkdkdjjd (also sometimes it will be really bad quality for some but not for others so i hope that the you can see the pics in a normal/good quality)
Okay let me continue
OMG THE ROMANTIC AND SEXUAL STUFF IS THE BEST PART ABOUT THE SIMS DIDLDKJIkdkj i kind of miss how in the sims 3 they would be making out basically lying on top of each other if they were on a bed— but in sims 4 when they‘re sitting next to each other and everything that‘s definitely hot too 😌😭 or with hot tubs dkdkdk how one sim climbs on the other sim‘s lap before they woohoo (i used to make them skinny dip in the hot tub and then make out and woohoo so they’re like naked on top of each other even if you can‘t see anything- en e waysss)
Dkdkdkdj so @ Rindfleischet.. blah bla. so it‘s basically just loads of individual words put together/connected and that‘s a really big part of german. so yesterday i had an online Einführungsveranstaltung for uni (like it was a zoom meeting where they just talked about general stuff about the uni and i was really anxious before, idk why, but it turned out absolutely fine so) and that words consists of the two words Einführung (introduction) and Veranstaltung (event) which are also two individual words but you can make a new word (Einführungsveranstaltung, so in english that‘s basically “introduction event“ lmao) by combining those two words. there are obviously some rules like you can‘t just combine random words in a random order but you can basically make infinite words (technically). for example (i feel like i‘m teaching a class just skip this if you don’t care 🙃🙃🙃djdjdkdlns)
for example i could say Einführungsveranstaltungsteilnehmer (which is not underlined with red by tumblr because it is a grammatically correct compound word (i think that‘s what they‘re called?)) which is the words introduction + event + participant, so that word just means “participant of an introductory event“ but instead it‘s one word? i hope that makes sense? dkdkkdksks i mean it makes sense in german but idk if it makes sense to you cause idk if i‘m explaining it very well lmao,
(I just deleted a really really long paragraph that i wrote about gender in the german language and grammar, you‘re welcome slsksksj)
my capacity to think has now been used up for the week 🥴🥴🥴 i absolutely do not blame you if you just skipped over that part or can‘t be bothered to (re)read my awful explanation edkflsksjdjdj (again, i had double the amount of words but i just deleted it dkdkdlslsl but what‘s left lf my german lesson is probably confusing enough already😭i‘m sorry🥴)
so to answer your question LEJDKSKJ: it‘s really common to have long words in german, words that are just word+ word+ word + word made into one long word. obv rindfleischetikettierung..... is a very extreme example and it‘s normally just 2-4 words made into one! So yup i think that comes mostly from german and talking german and growing up here and going to school here and everything dmdfnsksx
i think the best part about these is the chaos yet we understand what the other means 😌— YES. YES. Yes. I love that about us 😌😌🥰🥰/ I love us. Yes.
okay but your friend changing her mom‘s name into tom‘s mum‘s name (was that right? Dkdkdjh)—— so Justin Bieber once posted something where you could see that his Dad‘s number was saved as „Daddy Cakes“ (which, thinking back, sounds very weird ekejjej) and till this day I have my Dad’s contact name as Tata (which is serbian for Dad lmao), “Tata🍰“ in my phone because of it 😭😭😭😭🙃🙃🙃 it‘s not because of justin anymore like i‘ve just gotten used to it by now but at first i did it because of justin lol........ but nowadays i don‘t think i‘m THAT type of fan of anyone- like you know how people have fandom names (Justin‘s fans are the Beliebers, One Direction fans are Directioners (writing that hurt my soul💔💔💔)) and I wouldn‘t consider myself a fan of anyone like that. like even with tom i wouldn‘t call myself........ does tom even have a name for his fans??? Well if he does, I wouldn‘t call myself that. Like i used to be such a hardcore stan for any celebrity that i liked and now it‘s just... okay, i like em. (She says on her blog where she writes fan fiction about Tom Holland — WJDJEJDKELSKSKKSNSNDXB🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃)
Omg rex orange county!!!!!! I don‘t know that many songs like I‘ve only listened to the album pony, but i love it 💘💘💘💘💘💘💘💘
thanks again for what you said about my fics/writing I‘m🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺
Pete Davidson Pete Davidson Pete Davidson I‘m-🥰🥰🥰🥰 and I can‘t explain why. But as blissfulparker said the other day (i don‘t want to tag her and make her read through all of this lolll) “I like my men when they look like they are on the brink of death 😍“ (or something along the lines of that) eskkejs okay pete isn‘t that bad, he looks quite good on some days but other days you‘re like... is this man alive? Like i don‘t want to be mean I love Pete so much The King of Staten Island is literally my favourite film ever (although it‘s not my #1 because of how he looks, but i mean he does look good) VUT ALSO
(Okay i was gonna look for a terrible picture of him but he really doesn‘t look as bad as people say??? like. i think he‘s hot. can‘t necessarily explain why. so that‘s that on that.)
i‘m not going chronologically right now (i just keep scrolling up to your ask and replying to whatever i see first sksksksh) so i might miss a thing or two that you said
Okay Stormzy, you really really don‘t have to dkdkdjd like i think you said you don‘t really listen to rap, and uk rap is a whole nother thing from us rap because of the accent i feel like??? (That sentence did not make sense) BUT if you‘re looking for a few songs that aren‘t like RAP rap, then I‘d recommend One Second (feat HER), Superheroes, Own it (which you might know?), ummm maybe the song Lessons?, he has a ton of Lion King references by the way dkdjdj for example in Rachael‘s Little Brother but that‘s like more RAP again if you know what I mean?😭 and it‘s also like 5 Minutes long and tbh i only started liking that song a year after that album came out lmao but Rachael‘s Little Brother is possibly my fav Stormzy song, then there is Shut Up which you absolutely need to listen to just for fun dldjdjd like it‘s just pure fun and also a little funny lmao, especially if you‘re not British (i imagine so at least) cause he‘s like shuTTTT up idk dldkdjdldkjdhdhfjfbfldlsksksks
Vossi Bop is one of his classics, and then maybeee - ok so there‘s Blinded By Your Grace Pt. 2 lmaoobdjsj it‘s very (Christian/) religious but i like it a lot even though i‘m not really Christian (at least not practicing or anything) so idk about your views on religion but i do like the song a lot just by like the sound lmao
Okay so again you absolutely DO NOT have to listen to any, especially not for me dlskdj but I really do recommend the songs Superheroes, One Second and Rachael‘s Little Brother (and all the other ones i mentioned but if you don‘t listen to a lot of his songs you should at least give these three a try <3333) also let me know some of your songs? 🥺 like i dont care who they‘re by but i‘d love to listen to some that you like and Recommend 🥰🥰🥰
Okay so skdjdjdjddhhddhdhjsk... I used to watch all of my series in German (like H2O) bc obviously they were on german tv so they were german- and i knew that most of these actors i saw on tv were american and i was always SO fascinated that they all learned german for this show??? Like I actually thought they were the people‘s real voices and that these English and American actors were learning german so they could re-record the whole ass show and do everything in german dkdkdldjdjjd... i swear I thought that until I was like 14 omg. And then the first time that I watched H2O in the original version i was sooo confused about their accents because to me all actors who spoke english were American?? I mean MOST of those shows are American so I wasn‘t completely off but yeah i was definitely caught off guard when I heard all of their Australian accents for the first time 💀💀😭😭😭
@ math vs maths, math actually makes more sense in my opinion. like you have the word mathematics, then the abbreviation would obviously be math... why would English people randomly add the s from the end??? Or maybe it makes more sense after all because it‘s like plural??? Now I‘m unsure dkdkdkdj but i do say maths because that‘s how i was taught to say it and i hear the word maths more than math but yeah dldkdjs i think math might even make more sense (okay i just tried saying math and maths is easier to pronounce but again tjat might just be me, oh god i‘ll stop talking about that disgusting thing (mathematics).)
not the crickets and dora LMAOOOSNSNSMDNBS yeah that teacher was... a lot. a lot a lot a lot didjjd but she kinda liked me so she always gave me good grades/marks but the people she didn‘t like..... ooft. OOF.
Fksksjsj idek about headache season like i just know that i get headaches from the sun and i‘m allergic to only one.. type of...pollen??? (I don’t understand the science of that whole pollen thing and idek if it’s called pollen in english i just know sex pollen from fan fics😔)and yeah we have this weird wind that makes a lot of people get headaches yeahd dkdkdj. i loved the i just love wearing as little clothes as possible LMAO lllioool i love that i really do. i always struggle so much in the summer cause i never have anything to wear. i feel like i buy so many new summer clothes every year but when i end up looking for an outfit i don‘t ever find anything 😭 (so i just go naked— lmao jk jk) but i‘m generally not the biggest fan of summer so-
OMG THIS FUCKING BIRD ISTG, okay the first time i heard it i went to sleep at like 5 am, so the next day i was like let me go to bed earlier so the bird doesn‘t keep me up, so i went to bed at 4 am (🥲) and THE BIRD JUST STARTED FUCKING CHIRPING SO LOUDLY, so the next day i went to bed at 3 am AND IT FUCKING STARTED AT 3 AM and it‘s still there 😁 every. night.
and since you said you‘ve gotten used to my theme and everything (idk where this transition came from😭) so tomorrow (2nd april) we have our... wait what‘s an anniversary but for a month.? I think month is like mensus in latin OK NO THATS DEF WRONG DKDKDJ wait
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So Tomorrow is our... mensiversary💘💘💘💘💘💘 or at least from the first time you sent an ask. i couldn‘t find it on my tumblr anymore because tumblr is a bit of a bitch but i remember the first thing you ever sent (in an ask) was something lovely about my writing and i always take screenshots of stuff like that, and i found it in my gallery. and i took that screenshot of your ask on the 2nd of march so i‘m assuming that‘s when you sent it 🥰🥰 i feel like i‘ve known you for a week not a month like how is it a month already????? (i mean this in a good way lmao but i really can’t believe that its been a month wtf)
omg no you make me want to cry because i just love you so much 😭😭🥺 but about the stretch mark thing it‘s just.. it‘s not even me trying to empower other women (or anyone else who has stretch marks) to shake off these dumb insecurities that the patriarchy and capitalism have instilled in us— ok no it‘s definitely that too lmao. But i mean I‘ve always loved stretch marks, i‘ve just always loved loved loved them so much so it makes me genuinely sad that people don‘t like them. so yeah. i dont really know how to explain it lol, like i‘m not (only) hoping that people realise that hating your stretch marks is giving the men and the patriarchy what they want per se- (that made no sense) it‘s just because i love stretch marks and think they‘re beautiful and also sexy. idk dldkdjls and omg the fact that you called me kind 🥺🥺🥺 like i don‘t really have a goal in life or anything, but if i had to choose a ‘goal‘ in life it would just be to be kind. (i‘ll end this here otherwise i‘m gonna talk about being kind for 30 more lines—)
And please. Do not ever feel like you‘re annoying me or sending too much. never ever ever. I get so happy when i see that you‘ve sent me an ask. No matter if it‘s a long one like this or just a short one where you‘re saying something about a post that i reblogged or something. I love hearing from/about you and talking to you 💘💘💘💘💘💘💘💘
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P.S: i‘m so sorry for the tags you‘re about to read they make even less sense than this post, also i reached the tag limit dkdkdj but i said some butterfly tattoos look tacky... and the next thing i said was since we‘re already speaking about Ariana- I DID NOT MEAN THAT SHE WAS TACKY dldkdjsj, i meant since you already mentioned some of her tattoos lmao
#lovely anon#<3#ALSO I LOVE YOUR TAGS SM DKDJDKDL#i definitely (accidentally) didn‘t say something about every single thing you said#but this is so long already and i don‘t want to force you to read even more of my shite dldkdjsj#(i dont day shite i say shit but sometimes shite sound funnier)#*say#omg its too mate to speak english what i meant was i‘m sire i forgot to adress some of the things you said but i tried my best iwjwskb#omg adress (address? lmao) sounds so negative i mean i‘m sure i forgot to reply to some things- also *late not mate loool#omg ignore my whole german lesson i cant believe i actually wrote all of that wtf#but it took me like 20 minutes so i don‘t want to delete it 😭#and omg i hope you got to re do everything that your sims game didnt save and that it all worked out the same#😭#I NEARLY DELETED THIS ASK WITJ MY ANSWER OH MYFUCKING GOD MY FUCKING HEART#also i realised i didnt say anything at all about uni but i dont have any news like that Einführungsveranstaltung (😭) I went to was literall#just about schedules and credits and boring stuff mostly lmao#oh and tattoos!!!! it sucks that you might not be able to get the ones that you want/get any :((((( but hopefully you can at least get some#that arent in colour? 🤞🏼🤞🏼🤞🏼#so my parents aren‘t that supportive either like they most definitely wouldnt pay for it (even though they pay for a lot of my stuff lmao)#but i think in the end they know that i‘m old enough and they can‘t stop me and they‘d accept it one day so they‘re definitely not THAT bad#maybe your parents will change their mind over time? :(#or maybe youll just get one one day and ig theyll have to get used to it lol#so i want a butterfly (thats the only thing that i‘m sure about) and there are a lot of butterfly tattoos that look really tacky#but speaking of her i actually really like ariana‘s butterfly! but idk if i want that much shading- i have a whole album with like 35 photos#of just butterfly tattoos lol- i‘ll stop here tho. ldkdkd#omg im rereading this all and it‘s so messy good luck dkdkkddl#my tags got messed up and idk how to fix it#wait did i reach the tag limit and you cant even see half of these? 😭😭😭#i‘m so confused about these tags why are they not in the correct order? 😭😭😭 ily snd i‘m so sorry for dropping this post on you none of it#none of it makes sense.
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lordseochangbin · 4 years
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scene stealers
3racha imagine + smut— this is so filthy im so sorry i don’t know what this msksks
the dim, neon lights of the large studio and the consistent beat that allured your attention kept you distant from the few people around you. headphones covered your ears as your fingers brushed the dust off of the mix board in front of you and when the song came to an end, you quickly took them off.
“it’s perfect!” you said to the three boys sitting in the small black sofa behind you.
“dope!! now lets get this shit on the new album” chan winked before getting up to get the door.
“look who’s here” changbin smirked as jennifer walked in, her long legs practically glowing in her tight green shorts despite the dim lighting. you let out an annoyed sigh before waving at her and pretending to go back to work. 
how many times has jennifer been joining the four of you in the studio now? 15.. no no.. 20 times now? you didn’t know what it was about her. when she was around you seemed somehow.. lacking. the presence of three handsome men around you made you feel loved but when their eyes were on someone else you felt at loss. their eyes were definitely on jennifer, in fact if you didn’t have such a harsh deadline to meet you probably would’ve drooled over her in gay as well. just like the three men behind you, their focus entirely on her figure as she sat on chan’s lap.
enough about jennifer, what about this harsh deadline in front of you? you were no where close to finished, in fact jennifer’s arrival made it all the worse. for no reason you just felt the need to slap that dumbass bitch in the face. but you had no reason to. 
well, no justifiable reason. 
your feelings for jisung were the only things in sight, like it contaminated your occipital and the only thing that functioned was your beating heart and the jealously practically raging inside. if jennifer dared to look at jisung for one second, you would slit your throat- no. no... too dramatic. if she even touched if swear to motherfucking-
“y/n.. why are your shoulder’s so tense babe” changbin whispered in your ear, his hands wrapped around your neck as he slowly pressed on your pleasure points. changbin knew your body like a map, your midnight conversations about your kinks and expectations practically drawing the road for him. but he never took advantage of this.
you stretched your back when changbin’s hands drifted to your waist, his eyes glued to the screen realizing you hadn’t gotten any work done. “i’m just... not feeling it today changbin” you sighed, taking a sip of water before chan could seat himself on the chair next to you.
oh no, not this again. chan and changbin, they were like your two little horndogs. always wanting to get their hands on you, and you only encouraged it. letting them get a taste before leaving them to fend for themselves.
chan slyly placed a hand on your thigh, massaging it through the denim as he stared at the screen as well. “your not doing so well, huh princess?”
yes, these words did get you dripping wet. yes, you did want to take these two boys to the private rooms upstairs and...and maybe do things you shouldn’t do with your two best friends. wait, two?!
you turned your spinney chair around, ignoring the two men beside you before seeing the sight before you. jisung and jennifer literally making out on the couch, fucking disgusting. 
you got up in your seat, causing jisung to look up and chan to jump. “i’m leaving, i’ll finish it tomorrow” you said, grabbing your bag and exiting the room. the slightest of tears blurring your vision before you could whip them off and call it a night. 
⊱ ────── {⋅. ♪ .⋅} ────── ⊰
after a long night of tossing and turning, you decided to start the morning fresh and brand new. you, and i mean you, were going to confess your feelings to han jisung. there was a little hope for mutual feelings but mutual or not you decided this was the only way to move past him. just rip it off like a bandage, and then you can give chan and changbin a real chance. 
you wore a black crop top with a plaid skirt and jisung’s favorite combat boots and headed out for the door. by the end of the day, you would be smiling in satisfaction whether you liked it or not.
small skips made your trip down the hallway to your studio cheerful before jisung could step in your tracks, making you stop abruptly in front of him
“hey, y/n! are you good? i saw the way you looked last night before you left”
“yeah, i’m doing alright.. thanks jisung!” you exclaimed before continuing your way to the studio. wait shit, maybe you should tell him now?? later??
you turned on your heels to see jisung facing you as well. “wait!” you both said in unison. laughing at the coincidence you two quickly met again
“you go first” jisung said eagerly before you could stop him, “no..no you go first!!” you replied with a smile on your face. you were sure what you had to say was going to end the conversation. 
“i...ummm” jisung started. 
“mhmm” you hummed, waiting for him to get over what he had to say as butterflies flipped your stomach
“i... i think i’m falling for jennifer. i’m gonna confess to her tonight”
you almost choked on your breath before you could pull a quick cover, “i’m sorry.. what?”
“i really like her y/n, only you and me know about this”
“well.. good for you jisung!” you said, giving him a pat on the back before looking back at your studio door. “well i have to get working now, good luck with jennifer” you winked before running back. 
⊱ ────── {⋅. ♪ .⋅} ────── ⊰
seven hours later, you found yourself writing a track about how you should “never follow your heart” and “it leads to heartbreak, dont trust yourself folks”. completely different from stray kids message. as one of their producers you knew this was a failed production, pulling down your pair of headphones and throwing them to the ground
what was up with you? you told yourself by the end of the day you were going to feel brand new. at the moment you felt raged over past lovers. it was devastating, to see jisung find a girl like that but it was the only truth.
finishing off the song on a terrible note you grabbed your bag, slinging it over your shoulder as you walked past the hall in the full moon’s midnight.
the building was dead silent, only for the slightest of sounds to be heard. your instinct asked you to follow it, the sounds leading to the spare room. you stood by the doorway, taking a peek inside to see jisung and jennifer.
“shit” you cursed, quickly turning away and blinking quickly a few times. this wasn’t real right?? they weren’t seriously fucking in your company building right?
you took another peek inside to find yourself taken back. jisung found on the edge of the table, his hips thrusting into jennifer’s at rapid pace and it only got you thinking, ‘what if that were me?’
shit, bad move y/n. it was one thing to imagine it, but after you said it to yourself it became real. what if that were you? you felt the all too familiar wetness build up near your core as the need to fulfill it came by.
screw it, if they thought they could make out in the company building, what’s wrong with pleasuring yourself? your felt your hand unconsciously pull your jeans down, your fingers brushing over your folds as you teased yourself before dipping them in. you knew it wasn’t jisung but the thought of him kept you doing as your fingers came in and out.
adding a third finger in, you felt yourself come your orgasm, the juices falling over your fingers. taking a second to regain your posture you grabbed a few tissues from your bag to clean up.
after you pulled up your jeans you took a second to look back before walking away, leaving all your feelings at the door.
“y/n!” you heard a voice call from behind you.
you were hoping to not be disturbed as you tried to runaway, but you quickly found yourself running into chan’s arms.
“y/n...” chan whispered, his arms inviting you in for a hug. “what’s wrong?” he asked, his fingers running through your hair.
“nothing’s wrong chan” you replied with a shaky voice.
chan grabbed your cheeks in his hand, giving it a little squeeze before responding.
“don’t lie y/n, im not a stranger you know”
you chuckled at how well he knew you before giving him a tight hug.
“ill explain later, now can we grab some food or something? im starving”
“of course, my treat” chan said before dragging you to the elevators nearby
⊱ ────── {⋅. ♪ .⋅} ────── ⊰
the next day you had to work with jisung to finish the song you had been procrastinating on ironically because of him. a few hours were dedicated to purely finishing the track before you two could plop down on the couch, sharing a burger and fries like you two always did.
“hold on.. wait jisung you have a little something” you said, grabbing a napkin to wipe the ketchup off his face
jisung watched as your leaned closer, slowing leaning himself back
“jisung, quit it!!” you giggled as jisungs expressioned turned into a smile.
you reached out to wipe the sauce off because you could lose your balance, falling on jisungs chest.
jisung panted in relief, his chest rising and falling below your cheek. “y/n...” he whispered, his hands finding themselves wrapped around your waist.
he missed times like this, and so did you. the sudden comfort you two brought each together was indescribable and that’s why you two worked so well with music. you were each other’s muse, each other’s inspiration.
you got up from his chest, smiling as his smirk turned into a frown. your cheeks flustered red as he placed a kiss on your forehead.
“i missed you, you seemed off these past few days but i want you to know im here- okay?”
“okay...” you whispered in a soft voice, “im gonna go to the bathroom” you continued, trying to break the awkward vibe in the room.
“no problem” jisung said, grabbing the bag of french fries as he watched you leave the room.
you walked out the door, your heart beating out of your chest. not being able to handle it, you had to get yourself out of there. seconds could’ve slipped by and you would’ve kissed him. you really wanted to kiss him.
checking the clock, you realized time passed by much quicker with jisung and it was already late in the night. the quiet halls of the building gave it away, except this time you knew you weren’t alone with jisung.
funny thing was, you heard those voices one again. was this like... some sort of ghost trying to remind you of what happened last night? the sounds felt all too real, all too heated as you followed them to the same room from last night...
and you saw what you never thought you’d have to witness.
it was jennifer and chan.
your jaw dropped at the night, chan biting his lip and jennifer’s naked figure ahead of him. but this time you didn’t feel the same.
cut chan some slack, you remembered jisung mentioning you were the only two who knew about the relationship. but jennifer, god you knew there was just something about her. you should’ve followed your first impressions.
you made your way to the door, taking a second to catch your breath before contemplating about what you were about to do. should you tell him what you just saw?
without a response, you unconsciously opened the door. jisung was playing on his phone before you could interrupt him.
“jisung! jisung look im..” you said in a ‘hate to break it to you’ tone
“what’s up?” jisung said, putting his phone away to listen to you
“look... i was walking past the hallway and in one of the rooms i saw chan.. and jennifer”
“chan and jennifer?” he said, unsure of what you were trying to point out
“and jennifer was naked” you put emphasis on the last word to see if it’ll help jisung connect the dots but nothing seemed to happen
“y/n...” he chuckled, “look i know what you’re thinking. jennifer is some soft or slut or whorebag and she’s stealing all my attention for you but that’s why im here today!! you didnt have to make up a lie or something” he explained, getting up from his seat
“no..no wait! im serious!!” you responded anxiously, stopping jisung from leaving before he could grab your wrists and give it a small squeeze
“y/n, stop being such a spoiled brat. i know we’re best friends but i can’t always be there.”
“spoiled brat?” you repeated jisungs words. as shocked as you were to see him call you that, you were even more surprised that he had chosen to believe his girlfriend over the girl friend he had for 14 year.
“fuck you, jisung. leave. just go” you said, pointing at the door before watching him shrug his shoulders and leave.
sobbing into the napkins from your mcdonalds order,youre trying to be as quiet as possible now that you’re aware of how the walls fail to be soundproof.
your thinking about apologizing, just going back into jisungs arms when you feel the comfort of two buff arms above you.
“y/n, you good?!” changbin asks in a worried tone, bring your head to his chest.
“i really need someone to hug right now” you said, your voice shaky as you broke into tears again.
“im all arms” changbin said. you grabbed his biceps, pulling him into a hug before finding comfort in his warm upper body
“literally” you giggled, giving his arms a little squeeze
⊱ ────── {⋅. ♪ .⋅} ────── ⊰
the next day, you found yourself stuck with jisung again. he seemed quite sympathetic however, not apologizing for last night but still treating you with a kinder tone.
chan and jisung seemed closer, and it gave you chills. your mind wondered around, what if chan knew jennifer was jisung’s girlfriend?
you shook your head, no.. no that can’t be.
diverting your attention to the boys, you walked out on them again. they watched you leave the room in silence before you could, once again, hear that all too familiar sound.
taking a few steps towards the room, you placed your ear next to the door.
soon your senses forced you to look inside, seeing jennifer seating herself on changbin’s leg.
jisung... god jennifer needs to just fuck off. before you knew it jisung was staggering out of your studio, running towards the door you were listening into.
“jisung...”
“y/n.. what are you looking at?” jisung said, taking a peek inside before gasping
“you were right, she was cheating on us” chan said, not hesistating to take a step forward and open the door.
in a split second, jennifer turned her head, startled for your arrival. “guys!” she exclaimed, before changbin could softly push her off her leg.
“guys... what do you mean guys? fuck off jennifer” jisung said, making you smile at the words you had wanted to say to her so badly
“look changbin...jisung.. chan i can explain” she started before being interrupted by chan
“there’s no explaining, just leave before we embarrass you even more”
chan’s words made jennifer’s cheeks red before she could run out of the room.
you gasped at the way she left, looking towards the boys who were now standing side by side in front of you.
“wait, you guys knew?!” you asked, looking at jisung
“yes y/n.. im so sorry i didn’t listen to you”
you shook your head in disbelief, “well how did you find out?”
this question left changbin and chan laughing before chan could grab jisung’s steady shoulder
“y-you won’t believe it y/n, she said jisung’s name while making out with me! you think this beauty could even compare to that?!” chan asked sarcastically
“ i hope you’ll forgive me.. i didn’t mean to get mad at you. i only found out last night” jisung said, his hands tight in his pockets as he waiting for you to reply
you looked down at the ground trying to put the pieces together before responding “it’s alright jisung, i won’t let some girl get in between the three of us”you smiled.
looking at the three boys in silence was something of a rare occasion. your legs squeeze together as you remember how well they worked around jennifer... just thinking.. hoping
“fuck, y/n” changbin said, biting him lip. “if you could be any more obvious”
jisung snickered at changbin’s comment, “who is y/n looking at with her pussy so wet like that? i really can’t tell”
you inhaled sharply at chan’s words.
“now tell us y/n... who do you like out of the three of us?” chan asked, his arms crossed as he looked down on you
“uh…i don’t know. i used to like jisung but now i like all three of you?” you replied with a stutter.
in the three years of being with 3racha you never knew it’d end up like this. the sexual tension in the room made your heart beat fast and their presense intimidated you like no other.
“pfft, you hear that hyung? she likes all three of us” jisung said with a smirk, taking you by surprise that your own friend could call you out.
this excitement only reached its peak when changbin stepped forward, placing a finger beneath your chin so your eyes can meet his
“that’s right… y/n is our little slut” he smirked. you let out a whine at his tone before chan’s arms could wrap around your waist from behind, “and what should we do with our little slut?” he asked, making your body fall into his touch like putty
jisung let out a chuckle before he could join the three of you, his hand slithering underneath your dress.
“hyungs, we fuck her senseless until she can decide who she likes
chan was quick to grab your hips, grinding your ass over his hard member as jisung slowly tugged down your pretty skirt
“babygirl, who are you so wet for?” changbin whispered in your ear before his hands could rip open your shirt, quickly reaching for your bra.
with chan’s assistance your bra was taken off, jisung’s fingers giving you no mercy and thrusting his fingers in and out of your core.
the three boys set you on fire, your back arching for more of each boy. changbin’s lips met your erected nipple and he sucked on it harshly. chan’s pants coming off as you continued to grind on his member. jisungs fingers working wonders on your clit.
it felt like an endless cycle of pleasures, receiving and giving with no stops. you were so close to your high, your ass moving on chan so jisung’s fingers could meet your sweet spot.
hands were all over your body, each exposed piece of skin warm as the boys spoiled you with love.
“fuck.. fuck y/n are you close?” jisung said, groaning at the sight of you tightening around his fingers.
“g-god yes!” you squealed as you cummed all over jisung’s fingers.
chan smirked, making eye contact with changbin as they held onto your shaking legs.
“you think you can help us out now babygirl?” chan asked, placing a few kisses on your neck to help you calm down from your high.
you nodded submissively before you could lie down on the ground. not knowing how this was going to work, you lied on your back hoping the three would figure it out and oh boy did they figure it out.
changbin held his member to near your lips. “open up, princess” he commanded, you politely obeying and letting his slip his cock into your mouth.
he started off with slow movements, your tongue playing around as he stroked your cheeks. “you’re doing so well” he praised, smiling as tears came across your eyes while he sped up.
the pain soon turned into pleasure, your hips squirming before chan could hold them tight.
“you ready babygirl?” chan asked, placing a few kisses on your abdomen. you nodded, bobbing your head up and down on changbin’s member as you did so causing him to moan.
at the sudden movement, chan entered his member into your dripping core. one hand held onto your hip, nailing digging into your skin whil the other grabbed changbin’s shoulder to pace himself.
both boys groaned as their high was approaching, jisung pumping himself as he watched the masterpiece before himself. it seemed almost like a porn clip, something people would throw their money at if broadcasted.
three beautiful boys and you, the two of them reaching their high. chan’s thrusts slowed down as his nails digged deeper into your skin.
“im close y/n” chan said before he could cum inside you.
a line full of curses followed as your tongue swirled around changbin’s cock, causing him to cum inside your mouth as well.
to make sure you were okay, changbin got off you and watched as your heavy panting could take over. you licked your lips dry before collapsing onto the ground, “fuck, that was so hot” you chuckled to yourself.
“that was..” chan agree before the three boys could sit side by side next to you.
jisung came closer to your lips, pressing a small kiss before pushing away the stranded pieces of hair that stuck to your forehead with sweat
“you did amazing love” jisung whispered with a smile
changbin joined in as well, his hand rubbing your inner thigh as he kissed a few spots near your core making you whine from the pain
“don’t worry baby, you did so well”
you smiled as the three boys looked at you with such satisfaction before chan could grab your hand
“but i guess the original question was... who do you like out of the three of us?”
you took a deep breath as they looked at you with anticipation, waiting for an answer. you took a second to look at chan, jisung, and changbin before licking your lips.
“i like....”
a/n: you choose reader ! :D
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jimimn · 3 years
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HI ITS ME WHO'S NOT OVER JJK BLONDE SELFIE AND WILL NEVER BE -💫
HELLLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO <33333333
HONESTLY ITS THE WAY YOH SAY SUCH NICE THINGS AND I DISAPPEAR FOR DAYS ON END BECAUSE INCONSISTENCY BLEEDS INTO EVERY CORNER OF MY LIFE FNEKALKD BUT I'M GETTING DONE WITH MY FIRST LEG OF EXAMS ON MONDAY SO YAY TO THAT!! OKAY I THINK WE'LL MOVE SLOWLY WITH BABY STEPS JUNGKOOK DROPPED SOME SELCAS JIMIN DROPPED SOME SELCAS IN THE WORDS OF THE LEGENDARY JEON JUNGKOOK ALL WE NEED NOW IS "together..BAM!" (THAT'S LITERALLY ONE OF MY FAVORITE MOMENTS EVER THE WAY HE SAYS IT 🤧)
YES IN THIS HOUSE WE SCREAM OVER JIMIN'S DISRESPECT HE IS THE PARAGON OF A MULTI-FACETED MAN THAT HAS US WRAPPED AROUND HIS FINGER. THE AUDACITY 😤
CHANEL X JIMIN LETS MAKE IT HAPPEN AND OMG THAT SELFIE THAT DROPPED?? SIR???? WHAT THE ACTUAL HELL?? I MEAN YES BH SAID LET'S DROP SELFIES IN BULK BUT THAT ONE PICTURE OF HIM IN BLACK(GREY? I DONT KNOW FHSKKAJF) WITH THE SHIRTS UNBUTTONED!!! THEM COLLARBONES ARE FREE AND THEY'RE THRIVING IN THE OPEN IN THAT ONE. ALSO HIS LIPS ARE SO PRETTY. OH GOD LITERALLY HE HAS THAT COCKY SMIRK ON HIS FACE WHEN HE KNOWS HE DOES HOT BOY SHIT LIKE SHUT UP OK YOU CANT DO THAT JAIL FOR U NDNSLSKAJJW
SUCH A FUCKING TEASE THATS RIGHT!! EVEN STRAIGHT MEN?? BRO LIKE HOW DO YOU HAVE ALL GENDERS JUST TRIPPING OVER THEMSELVES FOR YOU IT'S INSANE AND OMG MISS SHIVI HAVE YOU SEEN THAT ONE CLIP IN WHICH JIMIN HOLDS HIS GAZE WITH THESE MEN WHO LOOK AT HIM (i think it was bon voyage?) and when they cross each other he JUST SMIRKS AND RUNS HIS HAND THROUGH HIS HAIR LIKE YEAH OK ALEXA PLAY I'M SEXY AND I KNOW IT. AND YES I'LL LISTEN TO EVERYTHING YOU HAVE TO SAY ANYTIME 💗💗
12PM KST IS THE HOLY HOUR I TELL YOU ALTHOUGH I REMEMBER WAITING THE NIGHT BEFORE BE CAME OUT WAITING FOR SOMETHING TO COME AND BH WAS JUST LIKE "yea...no" OMG THAT'S AWESOME YOUR COUSIN'S VISITING YOU
HHFJDOSO YEAH IT'S BEEN A WHILE SINCE THEY DID THE JUMP ALTHOUGHHHH I'M POSITIVE THEY'LL DO SMTH COOL LIKE THAT IN THEIR CONCERTS BECAUSE THEIR PERFORMANCE QUALITY IS JUST.. THROUGH THE ROOF IT'S CRAZY!! WHEN THE PERFORM WINGS?? LIKE HOLY SHIT NO CHOREO NO POSITIONS JUST BTS RUNNING AROUND THE STAGE MAKING THE CROWD GO FERAL I LOVE EVERY WINGS PERFORMANCE SO MUCH MY SEROTONIN LEVELS ARE ALWAYS AT A HIGH THEN. OOHH MY GODDD BS&T IS REALLY THAT BITCH!!!! WHO'S DOING IT LIKE HER TODAY NO ONE IS EXACTLY. AND NOOOO I TOTALLY GET IT WE THINK ON THE SAME WAVELENGTH THAT ACCIDENT HAS THE SAME EFFECT ON ME. IF ONLY YOU'D TOLD ME THEN IN 2016 THAT THAT ACCIDENT WAS THE START OF SO MANY I'D BE PREPARED FOR EVERYTHING THAT FOLLOWED (see: him basically stripping himself that one serendipity performance. holy shit.)
FOR REAL THO CHRISTMAS LOVE DROPPED OUT OF NOWHERE AND DO YOU REMEMBER JIMIN SAYINF uUH iM nOt wORkInG oN a SoLo SoNg aT ThE mOmEnT heHe LIKE ALL MEN DO IS LIE OK AT THIS POINT. BYE. YES TAEHYUNG DID WARN US BUT ARMYS (LIKE MYSELF) PUT THEIR CLOWN WIGS ON AND THOUGHT IT WAS KTH1 LMAO. OMG I HOPE YOU DON'T SLEEP THROUGH ANY OF THEIR UPCOMING SONG RELEASES BUT I'M SURE IT'S THE BEST FEELING TO WAKE UP TO CHECK YOUR NOTIFS AND SEE "Big Hit Labels" BECAUSE THAT'S HOW YOU KNOW IT'S GOING TO BE FIREEE. DUDE SERIOUSLY I NEED JIMIN TO GO LIVE AGAIN (although we've been well fed by namjoon for now🤧😌💗) LIKE THAT ONE YT LIVE WHERE HE SAID "O...M...G" SHUT UP STOP BEING SO CUTE I'M DHJSWLIFJWKALS
LMAO OKAY YEAH THAT'S VALID YOUR BLOG THEME IS BASICALLY ✨jimin✨ AND I LOVE THAT IT REALLY GRAVITATED ME AND YOUR URL OH MY GODDDDDDDDDDD YOUR BRAINNN 💆‍♀️💆‍♀️💆‍♀️💆‍♀️💆‍♀️
YES YES YES JIMIN IS SO PERFECT AND THE SOCK DOODLESSS 😭😭😭 oooo so when did you get into giffing? how did you start? BROOOOO YOUR URL'S ORIGIN STORY. I LOVE IT WOW YES IT'S DEFINITELY GOT THE REQUIRED ✨pazzaz✨
NOOO OMG THIS URL IS YOUR BRAND LIKE YOU'RE A LEGEND ON ARMYBLR I LOVE IT SO MUCH. BUT STILL!! IT'S YOUR CHOICE AT THE END 💖
OMG QUARANTINE DID IT'S ONE GOOD JOB AND GOT YOU INTO BANGTAN YAY. OMG YOU AND MISS LIFEGOESMON ARE FRIENDSS??? LEGENDS INTERACTING THIS IS SO COOL. LMAO THE PARADIGM SHIFT YOU MUST'VE FELT FROM LISTENING TO STAY GOLD (WHICH BTW THE MV...THE LITERAL CUTEST OH GOD THE LITTLE DOG AND JIMIN'S LITTLE SMILES DHSJAOWO) TO THEN GOING TO BST IN WHICH JIMIN IS BASICALLY STRIPPING AND JUNGKOOK IS UPSIDE DOWN LMAOOO. YES BS&T HAS EVERYONE HOOKED THE POWERRRR. YOU FALLING DOWN THE RABBIT HOLE WITH YOUR FRIEND'S ASSISTANCE OH GOD THIS IS SO CUTE 💓 EVERYTHING ABOUT THEM 🥺🥺🥺
AAAAH OKAY MY STORY ISN'T AS INTERESTING AS YOURS IS BUT IN 2016 BASICALLY ALL I KNEW OF KPOP WAS GANGNAM STYLE AND WASNT WILLING TO CUANGE THAT PERCEPTION (FOOL BEHAVIOUR I TELL YOU) AND WAS TOO BUSY OBSESSING OVER ONE DIRECTION'S REUNION AND SO ONE NIGHT (THE NIGHT BEFORE JIMIN'S BIRTHDAY 🤧🤧) I JUST STUMBLED UPON THEIR BS&T TEARS MV AND I HEARD IT AND I WAS LIKE OMG!! THIS IS THAT SUPER ADDICTIVE SONG THAT I'D HEARD SOMEWHERE AND IT JUST SPIRALLED FROM THERE I REMEMBER SEEING JIMIN AND BEING LIKE 👀👀👀👀 WHO IS HE I LIKE HIM AND JUST HIS AURA DREW ME IN SOOO MUCH AND WHEN I WAS GETTING INTO THEM I REMEMBER WRITING THEIR NAMES IN MY NOTES TO SEE IF I COULD REMEMBER 🤧 AND I STILL HAVE THAT NOTE FROM 4+ YEARS AGO 💓 AND YEAH BASICALLY SEEING THEM DO ALL THE MUSIC SHOWS AND STUFF AT THE TIME WAS SO COOOL AND MIND YOU BH DIDN'T HAVE SUBS FOR BANGTAN BOMBS THEN SO WENT ON THESE SKETCHY DAILYMOTION TYPE SITES LOOKING FOR ALL THE CONTENT I COULD CHURN OUT LMAO
AND YES!! COURTESY OF YOU I DID WATCH SOME RUN EPS!! I WATCHED THEIR CANADA ONES SPEAKING OF WHICH I LOOOVE THAT PART WHERE THEY'RE DOING THAT SONG GUESSING THING IN THE MORNING AND JIMIN SAYS "are you cold?" 🥺🥺 TO TAE AND HUGS HIM URRHRHEHSJSJSH AND I ALSO SAW THE ONES WITH THE PUPPIES GODDDDD I LOVE THE PUPPIES ONE SO MUCH LITERALLY JUNGKOOK AND HIS DOG (MIRI?) OH MY GOD THAT LIL FLUFFER AND ADAM IS MY ICON WITH HOW HE JUST DID HIS OWN THING LMAO.
BUT ANYWAY!! DO YOU HAVE A FAVE ERA?? LIKE DO YOU EVER LOOK AT THEM AND GO "Damn I wish I was a fan then" BECAUSE HONESTLY I WISH I HAD STANNED THEM IN THEIR DOPE ERA BUT I DON'T THINK I WOULD HAVE SURVIVED JIMIN THEN DHKSOWID-💫
FOR THE UMPTEENTH TIME!!!!!!! ITS OKAY!!!!!!!! I TOTALLY TOTALLY UNDERSTAND!!!!! AND YAYYYYY CONGRATS I HOPE THE FIRST LEG OF EXAMS WENT WELL <333333 AND OH MY GOD you’re gonna make me cry with the together baam goddddddd same one of my fave moments and jimin’s giggles after that 😭😭😭😭 my babies <3 :((((
that..... black suit selca....... that opened button...... like open one more dear sir who’s stopping you... just do it <33333 YEAH he totally needs to shut up with his i know im hot side it just kills me every single time 😭😭😭😭😭
LISTEN THAT BV3 MOMENT  S H O O K  ME OKAY????? THOSE GUYS LOOKED AT HIM AND HE WAS SO FUCKING SMUG ABOUT IT (AND HE SHOULD BE) AND THE WAY HE LICKED HIS LIPS AND RAN HIS HANDS THROUGH HIS HAIR????? LIKE HE KNOWS HE HAS EVERY SINGLE PERSON; NO MATTER WHAT GENDER; WRAPPED AROUND HIS LIL PINKY LIKE THAT???????
OH MY GOD ME TOO I LOVEEEEEEEEEEE THE WINGS STAGE AND WATCHING THEM HAVE SO MUCH FUN IS JUST SO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AND I ALSO ABSOLUTELY LOVVVEEE THEIR ENERGY DURING THE SY TOUR MEDLEY WITH IDOL AND BAEPSAE AND FIRE AND DOPE ZSXDFGFCHGVJBHJN THEY JUST LOSE THEMSELVES IN THE CROWD AND THE MUSIC AND ITS JUST SO FUCKING SURREAL TO WATCH HOW MUCH THEY ENJOY DOING WHAT THEY DO!!!!! kinda makes me want to find that happiness and passion in whatever i do in my professional life <3 and LISTEN jimin said the break the soul commentary THAT HE COULD DO SERENDIPITY SHIRTLESS TOO. THE AUDACITY. HE SAID THAT WITH HIS WHOLE CHEST. 
YOU KNWO WHAT I THINK JIMIN WON’T GIVE US A HINT BEFORE DROPPING PJM1. HE’LL JUST DROP IT ONE FINE DAY OUT OF NOWHERE LIKE HE DROPPED PROMISE AND CHRISTMAS LOVE (i wasn’t here when he dropped promise but i read that on twitter sdfghjkl) AND NO PLS NO I DO N O T WANT TO SLEEP THROUGH JJK1 OR KTH1 OR PJM1 OR KSJ1 OR NAMGI MIXTAPE 3 OR HOBI MIXTAPE 2 OR ANYTHING BASICALLY YOU GET IT i had slept through dynamite cb because i had NO CLUE that they were gonna drop it at 1pm kst rather than 12 am kst. i was under the impression that since they dropped all the teaser pictures and the teaser itself as 12 am kst, the mv will drop at 12 am kst too. and I woke up like two hours after the mv dropped (which was almost noon my time) and i felt like A FUCKING FOOL AND I JUST 😭😭😭😭 NEVER WANT TO FEEL LIKE THAT EVER AGAIN 😭😭😭 
AND YES BABIE NEEDS TO COME LIVE SOON PLS I MISS HIM SO FUCKING MUCH :((((( AND HIS O...M.....G HAD MADE ME FUCKING SOBBBBBBBBBBB his yt live god he looked sooooooo fluffy with his hair and his tiny hands and his puppy eyes and soft voice im just so 😭😭😭😭😭😭
NO NONNONONONO PLEASE IM NO LEGEND DON’T SAY THAT IM EMBARRASSED im just a normal fangirl who makes okayish gifs 😭😭 and ok yes so i started giffing LONNNGGGGGG time back on a different public fan forum from my country but i never knew the right process and stuff so obviously the gifs were shitty lmao BUT ANYWAY i got into gifmaking PROPERLY this in july last year and obviously struggled a lot in the beginning because i didn’t know shit about colouring and stuff lmao but i kept practicing and even though im not perfect rn i do think that i got better. i love giffing tho. its such a nice creative outlet and whenever i gif the boys it brings me so much happiness :( <33
AND YES ASDFGHJKL ME AND HER ARE FRIENDS SINCE A VERY LONG TIME SDFGHJK LIKE LONG BEFORE BOTH OF US GOT INTO BTS SDFGHJ and ah yes the whiplash lmaooooooo and you’re right god the stay gold mv is SO FUCKING PRETTY THE COLOURS IN THAT ENTIRE MV HELLLOOOOOOOOOOOOOO AND JIMIN AND TAE AND JOON WITH THE DOGGO JUST EVERYTHING SDFGHJK <3333333 AND BS&T DUDE I GIFFED THE MV YESTERDAY AND IM 💀💀💀💀💀 (like i just giffed jimin from the mv but i did watch the whole thing 5647589 times <333333) AND GUESS WHAT!!!!!! I WAS A LILLY SINGH FAN (IDK IF YOU KNOW HER SHE’S A YOUTUBER) BACK IN 2016 AND PEOPLE BACK THEN HAD REQUESTED HER TO REACT TO BS&T MV AND I HAD WATCHED HER REACTION VIDEO AND (although it didn’t stick with me back then because i was a fucking fool) I DID SOMEHOW REMEMBERED THE JIN AND STATUE KISSING MOMENT AND WHEN IN 2020 I SAW THE MV AND SAW THE KISSING MOMENT MY BRAIN JUST!!!!!!!!!!! I WAS LIKE HOLY SHIT I HAVE SEEN THIS BEFORE SOMEWHERE AND THEN I REMEMBERED I HAD SEEN THIS IN THE REACTION VIDEO LMAOOOOO i wish i hadn’t been a fool and gotten into them back then :((((
AH NO OMG YOUR STORY IS SOOOOOOO CUTEEEEEEEEEE ATLEAST YOU WEREN’T A FOOL LIKE ME TO NOT GET ATTRACTED TO BS&T THE FIRST TIME OF SEEING IT!!!! I WANNA HIT MY 2016 SELF LIKE DAMN YOU YOU FOOLISH ASSHOLE AND yes omg how did y’all do the subs thing damnnnnn i can’t imagine
AND YES THE CANADA RUN EPIS ARE LOOOVVVEEEE and that vmin moment plsssssss i cry everytime 😭😭😭😭😭 it is just so soft and innocent and tae’s little smile after jimin just turns around and hugs him 😔😔😔😔 i love soulmates 😔😔😔😔 AND MIRI YES OMG EVERYONE WAS SO IMPRESSED BY THE LITTLE CUTIE AND THE WAY JUNGKOOK JUST KEPT ADORING HER THROUGHOUT MADE ME SO SO SOFTTTT and bro adam is me. i am like that. lazy and un-motivated AF. although if i were a dog and jin were to be my owner i would listen to him so well and jump on him every chance i’d get 😌😌😌
GOD YES RED HAIR DOPE ERA JIMIN 💀 BABIE BUT MAKE IT SEXY 🥵🥵 AND OMG YESDGFHG MY FAVE ERA IS HYYH. ORANGE HAIRED JIMIN. PLS. HE’S EVERYTHING. I WISH I HAD GOTTEN INTO THEM DURING THAT. LIKE THAT ERA IS ..... SOMEHOW SO FUCKING WILD AND STILL SO ASSURING AND CALMING ????? KEEPS ME ROOTED LIKE IDK HOW TO EXPLAIN DFGHJKL AND WINGS TOO DAMN I WISH I WAS HERE TO LIVE ALL THOSE AMAZING ERAS. but even though i wish i had gotten into them earlier... i think i found them when i needed them the most. I was going through a very difficult time last year and they somehow they made me feel so fucking safe and at home that the connection was instant. honestly i’ve never stanned or felt a connection with any celebrity as strong as the one i feel with bangtan. its like... they don’t know i exist but they still know EXACTLY what im feeling and what to say or do at that time to make me feel comforted. Its weird god but its true :((( SORRY I GOT EMO I JUST LOVE THEM A LOT SDFGHJKL
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ddaenggtan · 5 years
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forever rain | knj | m
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Being dead isn't anything exciting. Just a lot of walking the same halls of the same apartment day after day after day. Things change when the new tennant arrives, though. Kim Namjoon isn't anything you could have expected; not the way he's so careful and gentle with his plants because he breaks so many other things, not the way his friends joke that he's psychic because you refuse to let him get in the face one time, and certainly not the way he comes home after literal months spent moving things away from table edges for him and announces that he knows he's being haunted and he has some questions for you. You didn't know ghosts could fall in love, but he makes you feel alive again, like you're standing in the rain while thunder crashes around you. You should've known nothing good would come of falling in love with someone living, though. You should've known that heartbreak was the only way this could end...that the rain doesn't last forever. 
part of the Love Yourself Collab, please please please go check out the other fics. Everyone involved is so freaking talented and I have been vibrating out of my skin with how excited I’ve been to read all of these. 
pairing | kim namjoon x reader (unspecified gender, even!)
word count | 18.8k | cross posted to ao3
genre/warnings | ghost!reader, slight fluff, hard angst, literally the most angst ever it gets fluffy for a bit but litERALLY this is an angst fic, major character death, unprotected sex (idk what the etiquette for ghost sex is but you should still wrap it before you tap it fam), depictions of terminal illness (v mild), mentions of blood (several, but not graphic), major character death, allusions to violence, namjoon is a klutz whats new, depictions of terminal illness, major character death, i added that tag three times pls dont read this if you aren’t comf with mcd bc i literally tagged it three times so y’all would definitely see it, also probably have some tissues ready bc i cried while writing it so 
a/n | this is, to date, the saddest thing i have ever written in my entire fucking life. formal apologies to this joon bc oh my god you poor soul. i’m not kidding when i say you might cry, because i’m a big baby wuss and cried while writing the fucking outline when i first decided to write this for the collab so like......rip my own heart. i was really honored when i was approached about the LYA collab, bc like,,,,,mE? WHAT? and i was really nervous because i’ve never been part of any collabs in any fandom ever, and to have to do something like forever rain and mono as a whole justice, like,,,,,,, *screaming* y’know?? so i went on mono lockdown and just had the whole thing on repeat and was like “alright. what emotions does this make me feel.” and i eventually settled on the loneliness and isolation that he expresses, and feeling like no one understands what you’re going through, but that ultimately the album as a whole and forever rain give off this feeling of like. things get better, you’re not as alone as you feel, and you just gotta get through the bad stuff to find the good stuff. basically i just got really in my feels about it and was like ‘lets make myself cry ahahaha’ and,,,i dID i cried several times while planning and writing and editing bc im a Soft Bitch and don’t read much angst for that exact reason lmao. so buckle tf up y’all, this a helluva ride!! 
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Of all the things you'd heard about death, all the different possibilities that existed in the world, the one thing you hadn't been prepared for was the boredom. You hadn't been prepared for any of it, really, too surprised by your own demise to plan at all, but even if you'd been able to, you don't think that this is what you would've counted on. An eternity - or however long ghosts existed - of being stuck in the same studio apartment you'd lived in when you died. The same walls, the same floor, the same view out the only window of the alley beside the building. It's boring and lonely and boring.
You've found more creative ways to entertain yourself as time passes. First, you started by figuring out just what being a ghost meant. You can't really communicate with anyone, haven't figured out how to make sure everything you say is heard, but you can manipulate objects pretty easily these days. The most difficult thing is becoming fully corporeal - completely visible and able to interact with things at the same time. It's hard enough to be visible, and you aren't really sure what the point of it would be when it would just scare whoever's living in your apartment; that's the last thing you want to do, run them off when they're the best source of amusement you've found.
You won't lie, you were a little offended when the first tenants moved in after you. It was difficult to watch your things get packed up and moved out by your friends, hard to lose all of the little things you loved in your apartment, like the shitty bead curtain you'd gotten as a gag gift or the photo collage of all of your loved ones. It's frustrating to not know how they're all doing these days; the one time you got brave enough to fuck with a laptop to check on them, you nearly broke the thing, and you haven't tried since. Still, it seemed cathartic for them to clear out your apartment, and it was a bittersweet sight, but you tried to focus on the positive side of it.
And then the couple moved in.
Not only did they fuck like rabbits - which is something you're going to stay pissed about, because there's no satisfaction to be had by you anymore, and it's the one thing you can think of that would be endlessly entertaining - but the couple was also grossly obnoxious. They had zero respect for your apartment , or you, and while one could argue that they didn't actually know you were there, it still made the sting of losing your entire life that much worse. You spent you don't know how many nights hovering awkwardly in the bathroom while they fucked, would constantly wander in to see them going at it on the kitchen counter at ass o'clock in the morning, and once you came in to see them tossing actual literal eggs at the ceiling like the absolute fucking weirdos they were.
So, naturally, you got a little mad. How dare they treat your apartment like that? They had no respect, but they were going to learn it real quick if they were going to live there with you, whether they wanted to or not.
They didn't last long after the first night of slamming cabinets and squealing hinges, but the thrown picture frame of their family was the conclusive end to their stay.
There have been others, since then. They haven't all been terrible, not like that first couple, but most of them have been sub-par roommates, and if you decided early on that if the rest of your immortal life is going to be locked in one shitty apartment with the absolute worst view in the city - because no one wants to see the drunken hookups and potential body dumps that take place in that alley - then you're at least going to share said apartment with someone nice to exist with.
You release a heavy sigh, staring at where your hand disappears through the shower wall. You've taken to testing the boundaries of the apartment again; you already know what the result will be, learned in the first few hours that you're stuck here, but you can't help trying when you get really bored. You just got distracted fucking around with the pipes in the meantime, because you're literally too bored to even focus. It's part of why you miss the last tenants so much, because you weren't ever really bored with them around.
A single mother and her two kids, crammed into a much-too-small apartment because it was all they could afford, and they were the light of your un-life. One a budding teenager that wrote angsty poetry who loved your trick of making things float around, and one an adorable toddler who adored playing peekaboo with you and coloring, and a mom that was too busy to notice anything out of the ordinary. It was like having a family again, made you feel useful when you could pull the meat out of the freezer for her to make dinner with or scratch a quick 'do your homework' on a steamy bathroom mirror. It was fun and it made being dead that much more bearable.
You really should've known that letting the toddler draw the two of you would be a bad idea, especially since there were several artistic liberties taken. It's not your fault the kid thought you'd look cool with fangs and bloody holes instead of eyes and claws that reached the floor. It was art, it was supposed to be a little different from reality. Still, you can't blame her for seeing the picture of her kid and 'my new best friend' and immediately calling the landlord. And a priest.
So, perhaps you gave the apartment a bit of a reputation. Maybe it's been a couple of months since the mom moved out and took your two buds with her. There might be the possibility that you've been the slightest bit salty about losing your friends and you've been extra-ghost-y whenever someone comes by to view the place in an attempt to make yourself feel a little better. Can you really be blamed for that? You just want a decent damn roommate for your life after death, and if that means putting the potentials through a little bit of a test, then so be it. You only feel a little bit bad for the landlord.
The creak of the front door pulls you from your thoughts, and the echo of a voice makes you narrow your eyes. Your first instinct is to slam some windows to scare off whoever's in your apartment, but you repress the urge. You'd die of boredom if you could die again, and whoever this is could provide a few hours' entertainment at the least.
You pop your head through the bathroom wall to see what's going on, and wow , who let an actual giant into your apartment? Fucking with the pipes could definitely wait for this guy.
"I know it's last minute, yeah," He says into the phone that's held carefully between his cheek and shoulder. His arms are loaded down with boxes and he's angled away from you just enough that you can't see his face, but he's tall and broad and wearing what looks like the world's comfiest sweater, and you want to badly to wrap yourself up in him. "But you know Joon needs the help. Don't pretend you aren't constantly willing to put off your thesis, I know for a fact that you went out to look at stationery with Tae last week, and everyone knows that's the most boring thing on the planet."
He's quiet, listening to the soft crackle of a voice from the other end. You slide through the wall completely, hovering as close as you dare to try and hear what the other person is saying. Tall, Broad, and Comfy scoffs.
"He can stare at one sheet of paper for at least ten minutes, Yoongi. Do I need to remind you of the time he spent an entire fucking hour debating which set of holiday scrapbook to buy because, and I quote, 'this one has the really nice rose pattern on it that would look great with the invitations, but, oh, look at the pinstripes in this one!'" His voice morphs into what you guess is an approximation of whoever Tae is, and you laugh at the high-pitched, nasally tone.
Tall and Broad spins, eyes narrowing as he looks around the room, and fuck , he's literally gorgeous. You've never seen someone more attractive in your life or your death and it would probably knock the wind out of you if you actually had breath. Comfy McGorgeous turns back around and sets the stack of boxes in the corner, continuing his tirade about Tae and stationery while simultaneously trying to talk Yoongi into coming, you assume, to help Joon move. You don't know who any of these people are, but they're already proving to be the most entertaining bunch that's ever graced these walls.
The door to your apartment flies open, making both you and Boyfriend Material whip your head around.
"Christ, Jin, you couldn't hold the fucking door open for us?" Someone grunts. Beauty Von Softness - or, Jin, as you should probably refer to him - winces and strides over to do just that as two more guys stagger in with a couch suspended between them. The second they're in the door they drop it to the ground and flop onto it, panting and sweaty.
"Listen, I was busy trying to get our resident hermit out of his cave to help us carry some of this shit," Jin spits back. "And you all know what it's like getting him out and about."
"Did you tell him that there's pizza after we're done? Because I've found that food is the best motivator for him," the guy closest to the door says. His hair is soft-looking and long and you wish you could pet it.
The other guy, the one who cursed Jin out and has the softest pink hair you've ever seen, laughs. "Jeongguk, you always think the best motivator is food."
"Well, yeah, because it is."
"For you, maybe. Other people require actual rewards."
"But food is a reward," Jeongguk mutters into the fabric of the couch. Jin tsks and smacks As Yet Unnamed on the back of the head.
"You're lucky I hung up on him when you bombarded your way into this place, or he'd definitely not come help us," Jin says as he leans against the back of the couch.
Unnamed starts to say something else but is cut off by someone running straight into the end of the couch. They all shoot to their feet, spouting apologies as the three of them maneuver the couch into the apartment properly.
"Sorry, sorry, Jimin distracted us from properly finishing our job," Jeongguk says quickly. He looks to the stranger with a small apologetic smile, and you're pretty sure if it were humanly possible, there would be actual literal stars in his eyes.
"Oh, it's okay, Jeonggukkie. I should've been looking where I was going." New Challenger walks straight towards where you stand, and you realize seconds before it's too late that he is not aware there is a massive stack of boxes in his path. Instinctively, you shove them to the side with your foot. Tall And Oblivious sets his boxes down without any trouble, none the wiser about any of it, and the three near the couch are too busy bickering in hushed whispers to have noticed you doing anything.
The newcomer straightens and turns to look at them all with a bright smile, and you think you might actually see The Light in the way his cheeks dimple. If you thought the other three were beautiful - which they are, no doubt about that, you're seriously wondering why the hell a bunch of supermodels are moving stuff into your apartment - then this guy is easily an Actual Fucking God or something. His brown hair is soft and shiny, his smile is warmer than the sun, and you're fairly positive that for the first time since you died, you feel goosebumps along your arms.
"Seriously, Namjoon, we should've realized you'd be up soon. You stay, start unpacking while we go get the rest of the furniture." Jimin shoves Jeongguk out the door while he's speaking, ignoring the taller's complaints, and Jin just shakes his head at the sight.
"Yoongi'll be here soon, he's finishing up another draft of his thesis. Hobi and Tae are stopping to get the pizzas and then they'll be here, too." Jin's voice is calmer than it was Jimin and Jeongguk, more soothing, and it makes you curious. Not only because of the tone change, but because you know Hobi, he owns the building and is the one who rented you the apartment when you first moved in. One of your favorite things to do is scare him when he comes by to make sure everything’s ready for a viewing.
"What? No, I said I was gonna pay for pizzas!" Namjoon looks distinctly more upset about this than someone should over not having to pay for pizza, at least in your mind, and it only makes you more curious.
"Yeah, but you also just moved out of your old apartment because it was too expensive, and had like an hour to load everything into a truck, so you're gonna let their trust fund asses pay for pizzas. We're seven adult men, and Guk could eat an entire horse and still be hungry. I'm not letting you pay for that."
Silence hangs in the apartment for a while before Namjoon gives a soft thanks to Jin. They share a smile before Jin makes his way back out. You follow each step, shadowing him all the way to the door before you're stopped. You lean your entire body forward, struggling against the invisible barrier keeping you inside, and the force of it nearly slams you back into the wall when you sag in defeat.
You aren't sure why you try anymore, but you know yourself well enough to admit that you're not going to stop until you can at least make it to the hallway.
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Whatever you expected Namjoon to be like as a roommate, however unknowing he is about the situation, you don't think you could've guessed what he's actually like.
Out of the seven boys you saw the day he moved in, he's the only one living there. Not a complete surprise, considering it's a studio apartment, but you remember when there were nine people living there at one point, and there was barely room for anyone to breathe even if it had been pretty consistently amusing. Still, for one person, he's got a ton of stuff, and it's a shock it all fits. His bed is massive and comfortable and the best place to lay during the day because it's shoved between the brick half-wall and the large windows that take up one wall. The area's supposed to be for a dining table, you think, but you'd had your bed there, too, and the familiarity is nice.
His couch is small and old but manages to fit five of them, and it's a pleasantly jarring difference from the coffee table that looks like - and might actually be - an old steamer trunk. The exposed brick wall you love holds his mounted TV, a feat that took Jeongguk and Yoongi a solid hour and a half because they kept stripping the screws, and it's got one of those 8-cubicle bookshelf things under it that stores a frankly obnoxious amount of books.
He's got mugs for days, an adorable if odd collection of figurines and mini-statues scattered around the apartment, a strange obsession with some reclaimed wood shelf he's got hanging above his bed, but the absolute highlight of it all is The Wall.
It took them three hours to get it installed and set up the way he wanted, between the placements and the thick wooden shelf they’re perched on with supports and a small safety bar along the edge to keep them from falling off, but along the entire windowed wall and partway after it turns the corner runs a long shelf absolutely covered in plants. There are some elsewhere, like the one he keeps hanging from the bathroom ceiling and the couple in the kitchen, but most are on The Wall. Each one is in its own special pot, each a unique color with a name painted carefully along it, and most of them look half-dead. They're all distinct and unique from each other and they all surely have different needs and ideal conditions, but you'd never guess because Namjoon is so wholly committed to them all. He takes time every day to water them and prune them if he needs to, he checks on them constantly. He even reinforced the safety bar for the ones that sit beside his bed, so there was less chance he'd accidentally knock them around while sleeping.
It's fascinating, watching him tend to them. He's so careful and gentle, with absolute precision in every moment. He cares for his plants the way some people would care for a pet or a child. He doesn’t believe any of them are past caring for, slowly nurses all of them back to health and frequently turns up with more he’s saved from some department store. The most endearing thing, though, you decide as you sit curled among the haphazard blankets of his bed and watch, is the talking. It's every day, for as long as it takes him to care for the plants, and it's the cutest thing in the world. He's talking to some succulent as you just stare at him, filling the comfortable silence of the apartment with his soft, soothing voice, and you wish he could hear you when you talk back to him.
"I know they mean well, but at some point, I've just gotta live my own life, y'know? I can't study something just because everyone expects me to, and I can't pursue some dream just because people think I'd be good at it. I've gotta do what's right for me, don't I?" His tone is positive and bright, a contrast to the gloomy sky that casts shadows across the apartment.
You float over, hovering beside him to look at the plant he's lovingly stroking with his thumb. It's in a pretty periwinkle pot, with the name 'Mang' painted in careful but shaky black handwriting. It's not your favorite - that's the one in the bathroom that hangs over its light blue bowl, a quickly scrawled 'Koya' on the bottom - but it seems to be one of Namjoon's personal favorites based on how often he talks to it specifically.
"I think it's nice you do things for yourself," You tell him. He doesn't react, unable to hear you, but it's nice to hear your own voice after so long. You slide one of the plants - Chim, in a small yellow bowl - to the side and away from his elbow, and he doesn't notice. "You know yourself better than they do. You should trust yourself."
He keeps mumbling to Mang, something about everyone following their own dreams and doing what they need over what people want or expect, when you lay your hand over his.
Thunder cracks through the sky and the first raindrops hits the window as your non-existent skin hits his, and it's the most real thing you've felt in a long time. It's as if the scent of ozone and electricity is in the apartment itself, crackling in your hair and filling your nose with the overpowering scent of the sweet summer rain. You can almost feel the water hit your skin, the way the wind whips at your hair, and it's so intoxicating that you almost miss the sharp inhale from the man beside you.
He's not looking at his plant when you look up, but instead at the window in front of the two of you. You glance at it, and for a fraction of a second, you can see yourself in the reflection. The glimpse has you jerking towards it before you can stop yourself, desperate to know if something has changed. You haven't seen your reflection since you died, not in the mirror or the window or the toaster, and maybe, just maybe, it means something's changed.
Your hand stops against the glass of the window as you reach forward. You can't feel the cool of it under your palm, but it's no less a barrier for you as it would be for Namjoon. Something in you breaks as you watch the raindrops race each other to the ground.
"Ah, I forgot the forecast called for rain today," he mutters, eyes focused on the lightning that streaks by. He doesn't react when your fist slams against the glass, nor when you let out the scream that's been building in you for however long it's been since you died. You're so close, not even a hair's breadth from feeling something new yet familiar for the first time in so long, and you can't. You're still stuck in these four walls, unable to even reach the air outside.
You just want to feel the rain again.
You move dejectedly away from the window, ignoring the way Namjoon shivers as you pass. The temperature in the apartment has dropped considerably, you think, between the storm and your own mood. You can't tell, really. You haven't felt warm or cold or hungry or anything since you died that isn't the oppressive loneliness of life after death.
A dry sob tears itself from your throat and you hurry to hide in the bathroom as Namjoon turns to look around him. He mumbles something you can't hear and after a few minutes, he returns to tending to his plants, leaving you to your tear-less cries in peace.
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It becomes quickly apparent to you that Namjoon should really have a roommate, if only to save him from himself. It takes a few weeks for you to realize this, but luckily he seems to narrate his life as he goes through it - which is overwhelmingly adorable to you, and you refuse to acknowledge that - and that means that you hear it every time he goes, "Ah, Namjoon, be more careful next time," or "Oh, shoot, that's not, fuck, I gotta buy more eggs now." It's painful to watch, even for you, and at some point, you just couldn't take it anymore. No one else is around to help, but someone needs to you, and clearly the universe means for you to be that someone.
It's a full-time job, protecting him from himself. You've saved countless mugs, pushing them farther away from the edges of counters and tables, and been just in time to shove bowls or vases an inch over so that his elbows glide harmlessly past them. It's almost exhausting, if you could get tired you would, but it's worth it, you think, as you catch the bookshelf under the TV as it tilts. You slide it gently to the floor, glad that Namjoon is distracted by how close he came to losing a toe to notice.
Because that's the other thing about this tree of a man: he's the most oblivious person you've ever fucking seen. It doesn't matter what it is you do, whether it's bouncing his spray bottle of water so it doesn't break on the hard floor or shake the counters so that the knife he's about to drop on his fucking hand falls the other way, he doesn't see a single fucking thing. You'd think he was blind if he wasn't so attentive to the way his plants grow. He notices nothing and you're glad for it because you really aren't sure what he would do if he knew you were going around haunting him just to keep him alive. You just want to help, want to keep the soft smile he wears more often around for as long as possible.
You don't dare to look into why you want that, too afraid of what you might find there.
It's also just fun to watch him and his friends, relaxed and unreserved. You never had many friends when you were alive, just a small handful that you really truly loved and whom you miss every day. Watching these seven boys fills you with nostalgia and a strange sense of joy because they really are some of the funniest people you've ever been around.
Like now, with four of them sprawled on the couch while Jeongguk and Hoseok make themselves comfortable leaning against the bookshelf under the TV - which has been bolted to the wall since it almost broke Namjoon's foot - and Namjoon watches them all from his bed since it's the only other place to sit. There are beer bottles scattered around and decorating the half-wall that separates the bed from the room proper, everyone is varying levels of drunk, and you're curled up close to Namjoon, leaning against the wall so you can stop him from knocking over any of the bottles nearby because you know him too well at this point.
"I'm just saying, I don't understand why they made him so over-powered in the new movies, because he's supposed to be some kid from Brooklyn! Giving him the high-tech suit essentially strips him of the friendly neighborhood persona that he's always relied on!" Jeongguk has been ranting for a while about the newest release in the Spiderman franchise - apparently, he's part of the actual Avengers now, which is a shock to you since the last thing you heard before you died was that the franchise was canceled until further notice or something.
"And I'm saying that if they didn't give him the suit then it would've made no sense how he was able to do those things," Yoongi responds. You're pretty sure he's just arguing to be contrary at this point, because you remember him telling Namjoon the other day that he prefers DC over Marvel.
"Garfield's Spiderman could do those things," you mutter, "And he didn't have a fancy suit."
"Okay, then how do you explain Andrew Garfield's version being able to do that stuff? He doesn't need the suit, he never has!" You preen at the way Jeongguk echoes your thoughts. "I'm telling you, I don't care how good the relationship with Holland's Spidey and Iron Man is, by giving him the tech and the advancements they did, they've undermined everything that Spiderman is supposed to be about."
"Jeongguk come off it, everyone knows Garfield's Spidey was just all bad writing. I mean, what kind of person can do all that stuff, realistically? He's the one that really needed the Stark suit." Taehyung's voice is slurred and quiet, definitely as drunk as the rest of them. 
"What-! No! I could do half of that without being bitten by a weird science spider!" Jin scoffs at Jeongguk's words. 
"Yeah, sure, Guk. The same way you can do that bottlecap challenge."
"Bottle cap challenge, and yeah, I could!" The youngest stands and you don't bother to hide your grimace. 
"This isn't going to end well, is it?" You ask. No one acknowledges you, too busy finding something Jeongguk can kick the cap off of as the boy readies himself. He's steady on his feet but his face is red and he can't seem to stop giggling. 
"If I do this, you gotta call me SpiderGuk from now on, okay?" He says. No one agrees, but it doesn't stop him from laughing again and doing a couple of roundhouse kicks to warm up. 
"Okay, okay, Joonie doesn't have any regular water bottles, but we found a screw-top beer in the fridge so ya gotta use that," Jimin says as he stumbles over with said bottle. Jeongguk just nods, an adorable focused expression on his face. Jimin holds the bottle in the air, and you can already tell his grip isn't tight enough to keep the bottle still when Jeongguk kicks it. 
The next ten seconds happen in slow-motion. Jeongguk's leg flies out to kick but his drunken body isn't able to handle the sudden shift in balance, and he slips. His foot hits the bottle slightly too low, and it goes flying out of Jimin's weak grip into the air. Everyone in the room watches as it hurtles straight towards Namjoon's face, and you react out of habit and instinct, catching it in one hand before you even realize you've moved. 
Everyone freezes, staring at where the bottle hovers in front of Namjoon's face. You're the only one able to see your fingers wrapped around it. A shock jolts through you at the realization of what you've done and you drop the bottle as if it burned you. Fuck, they were all going to freak, then Namjoon would move out and you'd be stuck alone once more. You should've just shoved him out of the way, what were you thinking, you're so fucking stupid-
"Dude," Hoseok mutters from where he's perched on the arm of the couch. "Holy shit, Joon, you're fucking telepathic." 
Yoongi rolls his eyes and smacks his chest. "Telekinetic, you fucking-"
"Holy shit, you've got fucking superpowers!" Jeongguk squeaks. "Do it again!"
Namjoon isn't even able to get a word out before there's a book flying at his face, and you panic. You can't catch it, too rushed, but you manage to deflect it so it hits the bed with a soft thump instead of braining Namjoon straight in the nose. 
"Woah, you really do have superpowers," Jimin whispers. He lobs a bottlecap at Namjoon, and you catch it in your palm before letting it drop onto the half-wall. 
"I don't have...what the fuck you guys," Namjoon insists. His eyes are as wide as saucers behind the thick glasses he has on. He looks freaked out and you want nothing more than to hug him. Your hand reaches out of its own accord, halfway closing the distance to stroke his hair before you catch yourself. 
"Hey, levitate your plants," Jin demands. Namjoon looks panicked as he glances at the wall of plants, and you heave a sigh. With any luck, they're so drunk that they'll remember this as a strange fever dream, but you can't just let them keep throwing things at him. You crawl over to the wall, avoiding Namjoon as you do, and grasp one of the plants tight. It's a white pot with red polka dots, a simple RJ on the side, and it's fucking heavy. You only get it a few inches off the shelf before you're forced to put it down.
"Oh my god, catch this!" Taehyung throws a coffee mug straight at Namjoon's head and you panic again. You catch it, and you've decided you're fucking sick of them throwing things at him, so you lob it back and dart across the room to bounce it safely to the counter before it can break. 
Everyone in the room stares at the mug and then looks back at Namjoon, who hasn't moved from his spot on the bed. 
"Oh my god, you're a superhero," Jeongguk whispers, awe in his eyes. 
"That's fucked up," Yoongi mutters, wincing when Hoseok elbows him. 
"Maybe we should get some sleep," Namjoon says quietly. The others look like they want to disagree with him, and you have no doubt they want to explore the newfound 'abilities' of their friend, but they still start gathering trash together before they head out. 
Namjoon lays awake for a long time that night, glasses folded and sitting atop the half-wall beside you. He's oblivious to the way you watch him, too lost in thought to feel the weight of your stare or the chill in the air. 
"I don't understand," He says after a while. "I really don't, but there's got to be a reason for it." He doesn't elaborate, merely turns over and evens his breathing out until he starts snoring, but you watch him for most of the night. He's fascinating, this human, and you wonder what makes him so different from the others you've met. 
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He apparently decides to experiment. You've known Namjoon is intelligent since he first moved in and you saw his collectible encyclopedias, but you hadn't realized just what it would be like in actuality. 
It starts simple. He'll toss something in the air and let it clatter to the ground. Nothing big, just little things like pencils or bottlecaps, and not far, just enough that his eyes narrow as he apparently tries to use his telekinetic abilities to manipulate them. 
It slowly graduates from there. Next comes the way he stares at something across the room, hyper-focused on whatever it is until you notice and move it around for him. It's a guessing game, sometimes, trying to figure out just what he wants to move or how he wants to move it, but each time you're successful, he smiles so brightly, dimples on full display. Who wouldn't want to make him smile like that?
It's hit or miss, sometimes. You're only so strong, and while you've had a lot of practice, you still get tired. You lifted his bookshelf almost a full inch before blacking out. Next thing you knew, a couple of days had passed and Namjoon was staring at a coffee mug. That was a significantly less fun day; between losing time and having to catch coffee mug after coffee mug, you were exhausted and a little shaken. 
So when he stops staring at things for extended periods of time, when he starts to go back to reading and scrolling the internet and bingeing all the completed shows that Netflix and Amazon had to offer, you're grateful for it. He still occasionally tests it out; he's always subtle about it, choosing to stare quietly until you notice and make whatever it is float around for a minute. Once you wandered around looking for him - a feat in a studio apartment - and found him just sitting on the bathroom floor, staring at a shampoo bottle.
You'd like to say that you don't move things entirely because he wants you to. It's a good test of your abilities and how far you can push yourself until it becomes too much, and it's always nice to have actual evidence that you still exist - in some form, at least - in the world. The validation that comes from seeing him smile every time you lift a pencil or slide a coffee mug to the side, it's not for any reason but the satisfaction of knowing that you have some kind of existence. Some kind of impact on the world, even if you can't be seen and can't leave the apartment.
It's part of why you start moving things around yourself more often; you're hoping he just blames it on his overactive 'abilities' if he notices because you really aren't sure what he would think otherwise. But you also know for a fact that just seeing that you have some kind of sway over the world still - over the things inside this tiny apartment - makes you feel just that bit better about being dead.
Which is why it's such a fucking shock when the door to the apartment slams open one evening just for Namjoon to slam it closed again and announce into the air, "So I know you're haunting me, please don't try to deny it, I only want to talk to you."
You freeze where you are, halfway through the closet door from where you were reorganizing his clothes because they made no sense and you were bored. He's looking around the apartment, almost desperate in the way he's searching, and you can't bring yourself to move. It's obvious he can't see you, and you aren't even sure if he's being serious, but the way he huffs and clenches his jaw before moving into the kitchen tells you that he probably is.
You follow him, curious, and watch as he pulls a small package out of his bag and starts ripping it open. You float the remains of what looks like gift wrap over to the trashcan, because you know Namjoon will forget, before going back to watching him. He's only a little careful as he cracks something in his hands and then slaps it onto the fridge, and you peek around him to see that it's some kind of words or something. There’s a wide variety, with no clear theme to them, as well as at least one of each letter of the alphabet. It's then you remember the throwaway comment Yoongi made during that night - "You need, like, poetry stuff, like those magnets that go on the fridge that people write that deep shit with, y'know? I'm gonna buy you one," - and realize that he'd followed through on his vow. 
"Alright," Namjoon says, leaning against his kitchen counter and staring at the magnets. "First and foremost, am I really being haunted or is this some kind of hallucination?" His gaze never falters, doesn’t ever drift from the magnetic words now spread across his fridge doors. It takes several minutes to build up the energy and the courage to move closer to the fridge.
You don't look at him as you move the words around, but you can hear the sharp intake of breath. That's likely all the confirmation that he needs, but still you clear a spot and let the words ' I am here ' sit where he can see them clearly. You wrinkle your nose, disliking how formal it sounds, but you have to make do, you suppose.
"Okay," Namjoon breathes. "Okay, prove it. My brain could work this into a hallucination. How do I know you're really a ghost?"
"Seriously?" You huff. "What the fuck am I supposed to do that wouldn't work into a hallucination, dude?"
He gets fidgety in the few minutes that you spend wondering how the fuck you're going to prove that you're a real actual ghost to someone who clearly doesn't believe in them. His foot taps at the floor and he scratches at his hand, which only makes you want to wrap your own hands around his until he stops, much like your best friend used to lay her legs across your lap to get you to stop shaking your knee.
The realization comes in a flash, and you're moving letters around before you can stop yourself.
Face book, Park Jihyo, best friend.
Namjoon stares at it for a long while before he brings his phone out of his pocket and begins to tap at the screen. You don't get too close; you've got a history with shorting out electronics, and you aren't sure you want to know what your best friend is up to without you there with her.
"Okay," Namjoon says. "Okay, I've never seen her before, so I don't think my brain could work her into a hallucination. Okay. Alright. I'm being haunted. This is fine."
"Calm down, I'm haunting the apartment, not you." He doesn't react to your words, as usual, but it still makes you feel the slightest bit better. He stares at his phone for a little longer, and the curiosity burns under your skin, but you resist. You know from experience that if you try to get too close, his phone will stop working. Just like TV, the stereo, the laptops, everything. You've had enough experience with that kind of thing to know what will happen.
"Okay, Casper," Namjoon huffs out after several minutes of waiting. He looks up and his eyes dart around the apartment, and you wonder if he's just nervous or if he's trying to spot you. "Where are you right now? Can you make yourself visible? I mean, I know you're a ghost, but it feels rude not talking to you to your face."
You huff a laugh but reach for a coffee cup. You know you can't just make yourself visible at will; you've only done it a couple of times, to your knowledge, and none of them have been on purpose. It's even more difficult to make yourself corporeal and physical, harder than just manipulating objects, but you did it once. Back when the single mom still lived here, when her toddler was falling and you had no way to cushion the fall except with your own body; you still aren't sure how it happened, but you remember being able to feel the floor against your back and the warmth of the baby on top of you for a split second before you were gone again. You won't forget that any time soon.
You float the mug towards where you stand, holding it in front of your face long enough that when you pull it away, Namjoon's eyes don't follow it. It's a strange feeling; you know he can't see you, can tell by the way his brow furrows and his eyes slide around the space, but it feels like he's looking straight at you. It feels like you're being seen for the first time since you died.
"So, where are you from, Casper?" His tone is forcibly conversational, as if he's trying his best to keep himself calm. You roll your eyes and move the magnets to show ' here ' and he nods. "You're not gonna try to possess me, or kill me, or run me off, are you? No offense or anything. I figure you would've already at this point, but...cover my bases."
No. Am nice. I think.
"You think? You don't know if you're a nice ghost?"
Does anyone truly know if they are nice? You frown, trying to figure out how to say what you want to say with the limited words available. I can only try. It's still not perfect; there's more that you want to say, more that you want to be heard, but this has to do for now.
"I can accept that. Alright. Just talking to a ghost in my kitchen. Okay. This is totally normal." He rubs a hand over his face, and you're a little impressed. Everyone else that's lived here has freaked when presented with the knowledge that you're a ghost. Namjoon looks very much like his world is exploding, but he doesn't have the same fear and apprehension in his eyes. He's certainly coping better than the single mom.
"Are you the only ghost? Here, I mean, are you the only ghost here?" He breathes a sigh of relief at your 'yes.’ "Can you see other ghosts? Do you know any other ghosts?" The 'don't know, no' that you move around on your fridge seems to unsettle him a little, but there's a curiosity burning behind it that makes your skin tingle.
Can't leave, is what you say next, cutting off whatever question he was about to ask.
"You can't leave at all? The building, or the apartment?"
The second.
"Wow. You're really stuck here?" He looks around the apartment as if seeing it for the first time and sucks in a breath. "What do you do all day?"
Watch. He cocks a brow. You are... You hesitate. The word you need isn't there, everything that comes to you is too poetic or corny for you to actually say, but the weight of his eyes is heavy on your hands. Fun is what you settle on, but it's not right either. 'Interesting' isn't there, nor is 'fascinating' or 'lovely,' and you don't want to scare him off by telling him that part of the reason you watch him so much is that he's so full of life that you feel less dead when he's around.
He laughs at your words though and shakes his head ever so slightly. "Alright, well, I'm gonna shower, so just, don't...watch that?" You squawk at the insinuation that you would, quickly rearranging the letters to spell ' privacy' and making a large angry face out of the rest of the words. He's already turned away, though, and it makes you angrier.
You don't want him thinking that you would peep at him. You already make sure that you're facing the windows when he finishes showering, you've been determined to not be creepy since the day he moved in, and to have him think otherwise is like a slap in the face. You slam the mug against the counter and he startles, turning to gape at it. You carry it to where your words and make-do emoji sit waiting for him to notice them.
"Okay," He says quickly. "Okay, privacy, yeah, got it. You respect my privacy. Appreciated."
"How fucking rude," You mutter as you set the mug back down. You don't adjust the magnets as he disappears into the bathroom. You want him to see them, want him to be reminded of the fact that being dead doesn't mean you don't have basic decency.
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You can't get him to shut up now that he knows you're there. He still forgets sometimes, mostly when he's talking to his plants or narrating the way he carefully constructs some origami creation, but more often than not, he's talking to thin air. He spends a lot of time perched on his counter, watching you move magnets around his fridge through the thick lenses of his glasses before he spouts off some other question for you to answer. 
He covers the basics first: how old you were when you died, when your birthday is, your favorite color, what you were studying in school, and of course your name, though he insists on calling you Casper. You aren't sure why but you also don't get a chance to question it, because he hits you with more and more questions every day. Sometimes you don't answer because you can't, too limited by the poetry magnets to be able to really converse; sometimes you just don't have the energy to move the magnets around, but those are days are rare. The only times you use the tired magnet are when you find your limbs too heavy to move, weighed down with the memories of what it meant to be alive. 
Those are the bad days, but his questions make them just a little easier.
"How do you move around? Do you just float everywhere?" Walking, but different. No weight. Soft.
"How are you able to manipulate things in my world? Are they different from things in your world?" Focus. Takes time. Same.
"Do you sleep at all? Do ghosts dream?" No sleep. Just existing.
"You don't eat, do you? Should I be stocking up on snacks for you?" No. Save your sustenance. "What was the last thing you ate?" Don't remember. "Huh. I hope it was something good." Same.
"Were you ever in a relationship?" Once. A long time before. "Do you miss them?" Not anymore.
"What did you do while you were alive?" School. "Oh, really? Do you remember what you studied?" Boring. Important then, but it made me forget to live. Not important now. Namjoon goes quiet for a long moment after this one, staring out the window at something you can't see. He nods but doesn't ask any more questions, and he reads for the rest of the night.
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It only takes a couple of weeks for both you and Namjoon to get tired of standing in his kitchen fucking around on the fridge. His legs get tired and he gets distracted by his thoughts, and you can barely keep up with the rapid-fire questions you get.
So Namjoon buys one of those cheap cookie sheets with the slightest lip at the edge and dumps the magnets on that. He leaves it on the coffee table, usually, there for you to pick up if he asks something but out of the way for when he stretches out to nap lazily in the afternoon sun.
You like the cookie sheet more than the fridge. He watches you as you work out your responses, can see the way you start to move one word before moving another instead; it makes it feel more like a conversation.
It becomes a favorite pass-time of Namjoon's, curling on the couch and putting some sort of music on in the background and just talking to you. A lot of nights his questions stop with a lingering silence from one or both of you; yours because you don't have the ability to share the words running rampant through your mind, and his for reasons still unknown to you. Still, you've missed it. You've missed talking to someone, being heard when you speak, having someone ask how you are at the end of the day.
It's the little things.
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"You said you can't leave, right, Casper?" Namjoon's curled up on his couch, tucked into the arm with a blanket thrown over his lap, a mug of something warm in his hands to combat the chill of the season, and some R&B track playing lightly from his phone. You knock your fist against the cookie once - a sign for yes that you'd both agreed on. "So, are you just always here then? You don't go anywhere else?"
"Fuck, how do I explain this?" You mutter. You stare at the magnets in front of you for a long time before rearranging them. Not always. Tired sometimes, disappear.
"Disappear?" He reads. "What do you mean? You just, what, stop existing?"
Don't know, you respond. Only happens when tired. When used too much of me. He hums an acknowledgment, eyes focused on where the cookie sheet sits on the couch between you. You? What entertains you?
"Everything," he answers without hesitation. "I'm trying to work through my stack of books I want to read and finish all the shows I'm interested in, but the guys would have my head if I didn't get out and do things like a normal person."
That's where you leave to?
"Yeah." He sets his mug - now empty - on the coffee table and settles into the blankets. He looks cozy and soft and you would wrap yourself up with him if you could. "I take a lot of walks, and bike rides. I like to see the river, the trees, all the animals that live there. The beach is always fun, I get to see all the crabs and whatnot that wander in and out of the ocean."
"I wish I could go with you," you whisper.
Fun is what you spell on your sheet.
"I guess," he mutters. "It's enjoyable, at least. I'll bring you some souvenirs, or pictures next time."
You let the sheet settle on the couch as he turns the TV on, setting up a drama that he's on recently. He doesn't say anything else for a few hours, waits until the sound of rain hits the windows and stifles the apartment in an otherworldly haze.
"How long have you been dead?" His voice lingers in the air. You've been expecting these questions, and you're honestly impressed he's held them back for as long as he has. That angsty teen hadn't hesitated a single second to start asking you questions.
A while. Years. I think .
"Do you ever get tired of being a ghost?" There's something in his voice that you can't place, something that tells you this is more than just his usual morbid curiosity. Every part of your soul - whatever's left of it, anyway - is screaming at you to lie to him, to tell him that no, being a ghost is great. You've never wished he could hear you more than this moment, when all you want to is wrap your arms around him and ask him why he looks so much older than he is.
Sometimes, you tell him. It is lonely here, and boring. Fun to be unseen, but unable to do much more.
He nods like that makes all the sense in the world to him, and he brings the blanket up around his shoulders. "Do you ever miss your friends, or your family?"
Would you not? He huffs out an unamused chuckle, nodding again.
"Yeah," He says softly. "Yeah, I would. Do you want me to help you check on them? See what they're up to?" The single knock that echoes in the room is deafening to you, filled with a hope that you haven't felt in years. You've never let yourself think about them for long; if you did, you don't think you'd be able to come back from whatever that place is that you disappear to when things become Too Much.
Namjoon pulls his phone closer and starts fiddling with it. He doesn't hesitate when he types in your name, and you feel an emotional blush fill you when you see that he doesn't even have to finish typing for your profile to pop up. You glance at him, the way his brows are furrowed behind his glasses and his tongue pokes into his cheek just a little while he concentrates, and you wonder how many times he's looked at the pictures of you when you were alive. How many times has he scrolled through, reading the words people shared after you were gone, scrolling through the grief and loss to get to the words you posted yourself, the little snippets of your daily life that you would give anything to be able to relive?
"Do I still look like that?" You wonder aloud. As expected, he doesn't react, just continues tapping at his phone.
You two spend the rest of the night like that, each curled at opposite ends of the couch while Namjoon slowly looks up your friends and family and updates you on each of them. Jihyo got married, to someone she'd gone on a date with a few weeks before you passed, and she's apparently trying to start having kids; Your mother and father aren't very active, but they never were. They both share pictures of you when you were a baby each year on your birthday, and more recent photos of you on the anniversary. They have a dog now. It's cute. You wonder if it helps them cope with the loss.
Your other friends are doing well, too; most of them are still figuring out their lives, but it seems like all of them are settling in their skin and finding comfort in who they are. They're out there, navigating the world and doing things they enjoy, meeting new friends and making new memories.
You stand by the window for a long time, cookie sheet of magnetized words pressed against your chest as if you can feel the cool of the metal against your skin, and watch rain drip down the panes as you imagine what your life could have been.
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You can always hear Namjoon before you see him. He whistles as he walks down the sidewalk, his small way of letting you know he's on his way back from wherever he's gone that day, and today isn't an exception. Relief sags through you and you move away from the windows, let your fingers trail against the ceramic of the newest succulent he'd bought, and head towards the kitchen. The kettle is turned on and heating a few moments later while you pull a mug down from your cabinet and set it carefully on the counter where Namjoon will see it.
It's a regular routine, for the two of you. He heads out, usually in the early morning after turning on some music or a show for you, and when he comes back, you make sure there's hot water for his tea or cocoa or whatever he feels like drinking that day. The sound of his whistling gets louder the closer he gets, a simple way to let you know he's safe and he's home. You glance through the cabinets and quickly make a note on the fridge that he needs to buy more of his special tea blend soon.
The lock turns and you smile, waiting patiently as Namjoon saunters into the apartment. He sets something down on the kitchen counter just as the kettle starts to scream, and you wait while he pours the water and gets it ready.
"The cherry blossoms bloomed," He says. You grin. "They look great. I got some really nice pictures while I was there, I'll show you tonight. I was thinking we could try to finish Voltron tonight if you want. We'll have to go back an episode though, I think I fell asleep during the last one." You knock once against the counter beside you, and he turns with a wide grin to glance at the spot where you stand.
It's ridiculous for your heart to speed up in your chest, for the hair on the back of your neck to rise, for breath to catch in your throat; you don't have a heartbeat, you don't have breath, you're a shadow of the person you used to be, and yet...
And yet, seeing his dimpled smile focused so naturally on where you are, as if it's just second-nature, is like a breath of fresh air after years underwater. It smells like flowers, like dirt and earth and a new beginning. It feels like you're alive again, and you don't want it to end, but too soon he's turning away to finish steeping the tea. Something lingers in the air for a moment after but it's gone too soon for you to place it.
You both settle on the couch, Namjoon tucking whatever he brought home with him under his arm, between his body and the arm of his ratty old couch. Your cookie sheet is in its place on the coffee table, unneeded at the moment. You can't help the glare that you give it; the things you would give to be able to just speak and be heard are endless.
It rattles a little and you look away.
Namjoon is quiet as the show plays. He doesn't react when you move to turn the oven on, but he does laugh quietly and thank you for it when he goes to put his dinner in. He eats and you don't bother him, though the way he keeps his little package hidden away makes curiosity burn through you. Eventually, once he's eaten and washed his dishes and laughed at the way you rubbed them dry before setting them carefully in their places, he settles back into his blankets and turns on the music he loves so much.
He's got a book balanced in his hands and your cookie sheet rests on the coffee table, and you both just sit like that for a long while, enjoying existing.
"You remember your life, right Casper?" You thump lazily against the wall in response, eyes drawn from where you watch the gloomy sky slowly get lighter with the dawn. He isn't looking at his book anymore; he probably hasn't been for a while, based on the way the pages have migrated around his thumb, too busy staring at the wall across from him. "Do you remember your death?"
You hesitate. You've tiptoed around the subject before. He's always been too afraid to ask directly, and it's too painful for you to offer it freely. You thump against the wall once more, and he nods like he already knew the answer.
"Are they very different?" His glasses are falling down his nose and your fingers itch to push them up. Instead, you reach for your cookie sheet. He makes a sound in the back of his throat when he sees it moving, reaching under him for his package. "I forgot, I got you this. Thought it might be easier."
He sets it down and you slide the contents out of the wrapping easily. Inside is a small dry-erase board, complete with markers and eraser, small things that should be easy for you to manipulate. You beam at him; he can't see it, but you think he might be able to feel it because he perks up and smiles a little.
"You don't have to answer," He adds. "I was just curious to know if being dead is really as different as everyone makes it out to be." You nod and thump once against the board before you uncap a marker and start writing.
It's a bizarre feeling, after so long. The muscles in your hand don't ache, no matter how much you write, and you can't feel the smooth surface of the board under your fingers or the weight of the marker in your palm, but it glides against it cleanly and leaves a thick black streak behind.
It takes you a minute to write everything out, get it worded how you want. Namjoon doesn't interrupt you, just watches the marker move against the board and smiles every time you go to erase something that isn't right. Eventually you show it to him.
There are similarities. I'm still me, I still enjoy TV and music and books. Things are duller now, like there's a filter over them, and it's harder to do things. Like when you're in water, or mud, like that. Resistance.
"Oh," Namjoon replies, "That's not what I expected. It makes sense though I guess." His hand moves against his chest, rubbing lightly as he looks over your words again. "Is there anything you actually like about being a ghost?"
"Well, being invisible is pretty cool," You say, writing the words as you do. "And it's actually really fun being able to walk through walls and stuff, even if I can't go anywhere outside of the apartment."
"I'm sorry you're stuck here," Namjoon says. You startle a little, looking up at him. You think he actually heard you for a split second, but his eyes are locked on where you're writing your words out on the dry erase board.
"Yeah, me too," You tell him. He stares at the board for a long moment, chewing nervously on his bottom lip as he does. "Ask what you want to ask, Joon," You write as you say it.
"How did you die?" He blurts. You sigh and he jumps a little, looking fully at where you sit. You're shocked; you know that sometimes little noises cross over, like when Jin heard you laughing, but it's still rare. You can't figure out how it works, but you want to.
You write for a long time, letters small so they fit on the board. The whole thing is crowded together, looks like one long string of letters instead of the story it is.
There's a lot of violence in this neighborhood. You probably know that by now. People are always getting robbed or mugged or something around here. Someone tried to break into my apartment by banging the door down. It didn't work, luckily, but I got really paranoid afterwards. One night I was cooking, and someone's door slammed really hard. I spilled the water I was boiling, slipped. Blacked out after a while, and when I came to, there were police everywhere. I guess I hit my head harder than I thought, because they carted me away, and I couldn’t follow.
"I'm sorry," Namjoon says softly. "You deserved more time."
Yeah. The universe had a different plan, I guess. He smiles at that, and it settles the anxiety thrumming under your skin. Wouldn't have met you, so I guess that's a bonus. He rolls his eyes at you but he laughs softly, so you consider it a win. You doodle on the board then, simple little designs that don't mean anything beyond being able to see your effect on the world.
Namjoon sucks in a breath beside you and you look up at him. He's always been good about looking towards where you are, doing his best to make eye contact with someone he can't see, but he still always tends to look through you.
Not this time.
This time, electricity sings through the air as your eyes meet his. You don't know how, but you know he can see you. His eyes roam over you, taking in the crumpled sweater you were wearing with the stain you like to think is pasta sauce on the arm, the hair you can't ever really tame, the way you sit cross-legged on his old thread-bare couch with a dry erase board in your hands.
Neither of you moves. He looks torn between fear and amazement, every emotion in between flitting quickly over his features, and you're terrified that if you move, whatever spell that's been cast will fade. It had been so long since you talked to anyone when Namjoon slammed those magnets on the fridge, and the conversation has been a reprieve, but to be seen for the first time in years...
It's invigorating.
Watching Namjoon just look at you is something you won't ever forget, not for as long as you exist in the world. He looks at you like he's memorizing every detail, every hair and wrinkle and pore, and just knowing that he can see you fills you with something new.
"Namjoon...?" You call hesitantly. His eyes fall on your lips.
"Again," He says. Your brows must furrow, maybe you frown, you don't know because it's been so long since you've needed to pay attention to your facial expressions, but he notices your confusion. "Will you say something again?"
Breath you don't have catches in your throat, wraps itself around a heart that doesn't beat, but you smile a little. "I'm glad I met you."
Namjoon smiles. It's big and blinding and knocks everything out of you except for that emotion that's been sitting in your chest since the first time you watched him talk to his plants. You lean forward, and you can tell the exact moment you disappear, because his smile falls and his eyes unfocus. A whimper leaves your throat, but he doesn't react, and that may be the most painful thing that's ever happened to you.
"Can I feel you?" His voice is hushed but the words reverberate in your head. His eyes dart around, looking for any glimpse of you, and your hand trembles as you reach out.
Goosebumps raise on his cheek where your hand touches him and his breath stops for a moment, but he smiles again and leans into the chill. You bring your other hand up to cup his other cheek, your dry erase board lying forgotten on the ground, and Namjoon's eyes flutter closed.
"I think I might love you," You say quietly just before you press your lips to his. He doesn't react to your words, but he lets out a soft sigh at your kiss. Thunder cracks through the apartment, a torrent of rain unleashed on the windows, but you don't move.
The two of you sit like that for hours, until he starts shivering and his nose turns red, like it does when he forgets his scarf on the cold days, and his breath puffs in the air. When you finally pull away from him, he smiles, and the blush on his cheeks has nothing to do with the cold air that makes up your form.
"Yeah," He says softly, voice nearly drowned out by the storm raging outside. "Yeah, I can feel you."
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If you expected things to change much after that, you were wrong. At least a little. Namjoon still disappears to go on his walks, you still start the kettle the second his whistles drift up to the apartment. He still asks you a million questions, but they're more normal now. Your favorite music, color, what you wished you'd done with your life, if you've been able to corporealize again recently, what you wanted to watch that night.
"Come on, Casper," Namjoon groans. "I promise you can do it." You huff and he smiles, clearly having heard it. You're tempted to just disappear somewhere, rattle some pipes in the bathroom or the kitchen so he thinks you're in there and leaves you alone, but he smiles at you again and you're weak for that dimple.
You grip the watering can again, doing your best to lift it and manipulate it the way you need to. It's heavy, and something about the metal makes your skin itch, but the more you struggle the more you're able to pour the slightest bit of water where RJ - a giant plant that you don't even know the name of - sits in the corner of the room across from Namjoon's bed. It's the twentieth-something time you've tried this today, and you're ten seconds from just giving up completely, but you can tell this is important to Namjoon.
He's been talking all week, between the late nights where you lay over his blanket-wrapped form and the mornings where he ducks out with a soft goodbye. He's told you everything about his plants that you think he possibly could, teaching you about them and showing you how to care for them. It's interesting, you won't lie, and it's always fun to see him light up when you recall something he's told you, but you're exhausted and every part of you is shaky, and you're more than a little worried of what might happen if you push too far again.
Still, Joon hasn't looked great lately, like he might be getting the flu, and you want to be able to help him with all the things he does in the house. You've already started doing the dishes and folding laundry, since those were the two things he was the absolute worst at, but you feel like you should be doing more.
"Good job, baby, I'm proud of you!" You grunt and let the watering can fall back to the ground with a loud thump that almost definitely has the downstairs neighbors cursing Namjoon's name. "See, and now we're done for the day! C'mon, we can put on Sens8 and cuddle."
He's on the couch before you can stop him, wrapping himself in blankets except for one lone hand that sticks out, expectant. You roll your eyes and sit beside him, close enough that if you had a body you would be cuddling instead of just sitting awkwardly beside him.
You know that this is just going to make your hand all pink and gross, right?
He just smiles when the board flips around to reveal itself and wiggles his fingers. "It's worth it," He says. "I'd rather be pink and gross than never get to hold your hand at all."
You can't even feel my hand, Joon, there's literally no point to this. He huffs and wraps his hand around the marker in your hand, shivering at the chill that runs through him when he does. He grins and gestures down to where the tips of his fingers are already turning red.
"Clearly I can feel it, Casper."
You're glad he can't see you, that you don't have a heart that beats or blood that runs, because if you did, your face would no doubt be red. You have no doubts that Namjoon would tease you about it.
He's quiet as you both watch the show; he makes the odd comment here or there, but his mood seems to have calmed some. When he first got back from whatever place he visited that day, he'd been anxious and jumpy and entirely too on edge.
"Hey, Casper?" He asks quietly. You slide a hand against his cheek to let him know you're there, and he leans into the chill again. "What do you think about me?"
You don't move for several seconds, hand still poised around his cheek.
"Like, your feelings. What are they? Will you tell me?" You knock once on the wall behind the couch. Your hand stays poised over your board for long enough that Namjoon starts to get a little restless. Words refuse to come to you. Every time you start to think you have a way to describe to him what he means to you, they disappear as quick as fog on a summer's afternoon. Frustrated, you let the board fall to the couch and scrawl a quick 'hold on' so he knows you aren't just ignoring him.
It's been weeks since you've seen what you're looking for, your cookie sheet with the word magnets having been basically forgotten in lieu of the more personal and convenient dry-erase board, but right now you know that if words won't come to you, you'll have to go to them.
You finally find it, shoved under several encyclopedias and magazines, and the noise you make is so triumphant that even Namjoon hears it. You curl back up beside him, careful to make sure the blanket is wrapped tight around him, and make sure he can see the words as you move them. It still takes a long time, constantly changing and rearranging and stacking to make sure it conveys the things you need it to convey.
You are like music. A symphony of summer days and peach skies with soft rain. You are a storm in the moonlight. I'm not lonely when I have you pouring around me. You make me feel alive again.
Namjoon is silent for a long time, and you wonder if you've gone too far. It's more poetic than you'd like, too frilly and fancy and emotional than you usually are, but they're the only words you have.
After too long, he exhales. It's heavy and deep and it feels like he's trying to expel more than just air from his body.
"You make me feel alive, too," is all he says, whispered into the softness of his blanket in a voice too small for his long limbs. He shivers, and you hear him choke down a cough, and then he disappears into the bathroom for a long time. When he comes back out, he doesn't say anything, just slides into the mass of blankets on his bed and lays his arm out across the mattress. You spread out across from him, watching the rise and fall of his chest as he looks through you and out the window where the rain is letting up.
"Looks like the rainy season is gonna last longer than everyone thought." You slide your hands around one of his large ones and just hold them like that. His eyes sink closed and something like relief stands on his face for a moment before it's gone, swept away by the peace of sleep.
You wonder what it is that he sees when he looks out the window. If it's the plain brick wall and windows of the building next door, or something more.
You aren't sure you want to know.
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Namjoon's flu only seems to get worse. He leaves early in the mornings, as if he thinks you might not notice the way he coughs into his scarf just because the sun hasn't risen fully yet. He stays gone most of the days, and even when he apologizes quietly during the twilight when he slinks back in to the sound of the kettle screeching on the stove and his tea already waiting to be steeped, he still doesn't stop.
You've taken to playing blues while he's gone, mostly the old school stuff, digging out the vintage record player he has buried in the closet and setting it up on the coffee table. It’s the only technology you can use without shorting it out. You don’t know why, but it makes you grateful the record collection Namjoon keeps tucked away inside the coffee table that you’ve learned is in fact an actual steamer trunk that he salvaged and restored himself.
The music fills the apartment, distracts you from the oppressive weight of his absence. He knows you wait at the window for him, you told him that back when the two of you were first getting to know each other.
You're so fragile, you had told him. He had laughed at you, quiet and fond, and waited for you to explain further. You're so full of life and breath and possibility, and the world is so big and so dangerous. I'm scared you won't come back.
"Of course I'm going to come back," he told you. You didn't even need to tell him that you're afraid of what being alone might do to you, now that you're so used to his presence. You're being heard again, sometimes even seen, and you don't know if you can go back to the stagnant depression of solitude. "I'll always come back to you."
That was the first time you thought you might love Namjoon. The feeling has only gotten stronger, and now that you wait at the window with your eyes focused on that tiny section of sidewalk you can see at the end of the alley, it threatens to consume you whole.
You wait at the window for hours. You know because you glance at the clock every minute and a half, mocking you with every tick as it hangs limply on the bathroom door. The sun sinks below the horizon, the moon rises to take its place, and they switch again while you wait. The dawn paints the sky in beautiful shades of pink and red and orange and the faintest purple, but you can't appreciate any of it, because you're too anxious.
He could be hurt. He could be gone, and you wouldn't ever know until his friends came to pack his things. He could have left, too; maybe he finally decided that living with a ghost was just too much for him and just ran. Maybe he figured out that you love him, that you would move heaven and earth if it meant he was safe forever if only you could leave this apartment, and it was too much for him.
What if he knows about how you lay beside him every night? How you tuck the blankets tighter around him, cover him in warmth and comfort before settling on top of them and closing your eyes and pretending that you can feel his arm draped over your waist and his breath on the back of your neck. What if he felt you, that night you wandered into the bathroom while he was showering to write on the steam-covered mirror that he needs to buy more eggs soon and got distracted by the way he looked stepping out of the shower? What if he knows your stomach flipped at the long limbs and the hidden muscles and the sheer size of him? What if he knows the real reason you were quiet that night, the way you kept replaying the moment in your mind and wishing you had a body so you could have just touched him, at least.
It's closer to noon than midnight when his whistle echoes up through the window.
"Hey, I'm home," He calls as he enters the empty apartment. You're upset, but you're more filled with relief than anything because at least he's safe and he's here now. He makes a beeline for where the kettle is just starting to whistle, already reaching for the honey and the tea you set out on the counter for him, and you do your best to calm the storm of emotions inside you.
Did you have fun, wherever you were? You ask him, floating the whiteboard in front of his face so he has to acknowledge it.
"Yeah, I did," he responds as he stirs his tea. "Jin invited everyone over for some end of summer thing. I didn't feel too great at the end of it, so I just spent the night there."
Don't party too hard, you might remember how to have fun, you joke. It falls a little flat based on the grim smile Namjoon gives you. Are they gonna come over here again anytime soon? I've missed scaring Hoseok.
He lets out a real laugh at that. "I don't know, maybe. My birthday's coming up, after Jeongguk's, so they could definitely be planning something. I'm heading over to Yoongi's later to help plan for Guk's party. I might stay there tonight, so try not to worry, Casper."
I'll try, you tell him. You both know you'll stand at the window every second he's gone, but you don't want to tell him why. You don't want to tell him that you love him through a dry erase board, or some fancy poetry magnets. It doesn't matter that you may as well have already said so by telling him that he makes you feel alive again; you haven't said the words to him, he hasn't seen 'I love you' in the messy scrawl that is your handwriting on some stupid board, and therefore he doesn't know.
You don't know if you want him to.
He stays gone that night, as he said he might, and reappears the next day to shower and change before he vanishes again. The next time he shows up, he takes a bag with him when he leaves, which only worsens your fears. He stays gone for three days this time, doesn't apologize when he turns up again and just mumbles a soft hello into the air before he makes tea and sags into his couch. He's asleep in seconds, and as much as you want to scream at him, you can't bring yourself to disrupt how peaceful he looks.
When he wakes, he takes a shower and ignores the ' can we talk ' you scrawled in the steam. He packs a bag of fresh clothes and doesn't say goodbye when he leaves, just disappears and leaves you standing at the window with the pail in your hand, caring for the plants he isn't. The slam of the door sounds like nails in a coffin and breaks what little was left of your soul.
He shows back up nearly a week later, and the relief at seeing him again is overridden by the sheer anger at being left in the first place. You don't start the kettle when you hear his whistle, the quiet and hoarse tune of a familiar song barely reaching the window, but there's plenty of noise when he enters.
The cabinet doors are quaking with your fury, the lights flicker and threaten to burst, and Namjoon just leans back against the door. He’s soaked from the storm thundering outside, even his jacket plastered to his skin, and he’s shivering slightly, but you can’t see anything past the rage.
"Where the fuck were you?" You demand; there's no point, it's not like he can hear you, but the way he sighs makes you feel like he can, so you continue anyway. "It's been almost a week, you didn't even think to stop by for ten seconds so I know you're okay? I thought you were dead somewhere, you could've been, like, shot, or something, I don't know, just bleeding out in some ditch, and I wouldn't know! And what about all the plants? I know how to take care of them, sure, but do you know how hard it is for me to do it?"
Namjoon sighs again, the breath catching in his throat and coming out in a cough, but you don't pay much attention to it.
"Why would you act like this, Namjoon? What did I do, is it because of the things I said? Do you not want me to feel like this about you? Because this a damn good way of making sure I don't, I assure you, so by all means, just keep disappearing and leave me alone with the plants you decided to rescue and save!"
His cough gets worse and he just shakes his head, covering his mouth and making his way towards the bathroom.
"If you want me to hate you, it's too fucking late, Joon!" The slam of the bathroom door punctuates your sentence, and you quiet at the sound of continued coughing. You knew his flu was getting worse, but it's never sounded like that. Even when you were alive, you knew that the wet sound that's muffled by the bathroom door isn't what a cough should sound like. The lock of the door clicks, and it shocks you into movement because he's never - never - locked you out of anywhere. He knows it wouldn't stop you, knows it as well as you know that you'd respect that boundary if he set it, and yet here he is, locking you out even as he coughs up what sounds like a lung in the other room.
You hesitate at the door, torn between respecting his boundaries and knowing what’s happening. You want him to trust you, always, and yet you find your hand disappearing through the door before you can stop it. You stand like that for a long moment, just listening to the sounds of his wracking coughs; the sound of a crash echoes through the apartment, though, and you’re through the door completely in the span of a heartbeat. 
Nearly everything that had been on the counter is scattered on the ground, Namjoon himself gripping the sides of the toilet as if he would fall apart otherwise. A single glance tells you that the crash happened as he turned from the sink to the toilet, and if his jolting shoulders didn’t tell you why, the sounds of his retching would. That isn’t what fills you with dread though; the disorientation, the vomiting, all of it comes with being sick sometimes, but the red staining the bathroom sink? 
That’s not normal, and you know with every part of you that it’s the reason he’s been gone so much. 
The temperature in the apartment drops with the sun, but your arms surround Namjoon as best they can. Goosebumps break out on his arms, shivers run down his back, but you don’t move away from him; he doesn’t say anything, just sits there with his forehead pressed against the cool of the porcelain. He stands eventually, ignores the way he passes completely through your body to rinse the sink and brush his teeth. 
You let him stay quiet until you’re both on his bed; you’re pressed up against his side and running your hands along his forearms, idly wondering if you would be able to feel his heartbeat if you were alive. 
“It’s not...it’s not gonna get better,” He says eventually. “There’s not a cure, just some things to draw it out and give me a little bit longer even if they come with more pain. I go once a week to see if it’s gotten worse, check how much longer I have. It’s why Hobi let me move in here rent-free. He pays the bills, says it’s the least he can do. I wanted to be closer to him anyway, so that’s a bonus, I guess.”
“I’m so sorry, Joon,” you whisper. Your board lies forgotten, somewhere on the couch maybe, you aren’t sure and can’t be bothered to pull yourself away from him long enough to find it. You don’t need it right now, though; he knows what you mean by the way the cold presses against his bicep with your palm. 
“I didn’t want you to know.” You’re not exactly surprised at that; you’d figured as much. You just don’t understand his reasoning. “I didn’t want you worrying about me, or anything like that, like the guys do. They always look at me and it’s all they can see. Like they’re already mourning me, even though I’m still here. I didn’t want to feel like that with you.” 
“I know,” you say. You don’t, not really. Your own death was sudden, a shock to everyone you knew; you didn’t get the luxury of saying goodbye, didn’t have the burden of knowing you would be gone soon. 
The two of you sit in silence for a while, until you can feel Namjoon’s chest quivering under your palm. When you look up, he looks at you, really and truly at you , and he has tears in his eyes. 
“I don’t want to die, Casper,” He whispers. You suck in a breath because he can see you, and you don’t even know why, but you don’t want to lose this moment. “I don’t want to leave all of this behind. I don’t want to leave you.” 
“It’ll be okay,” you say softly. His brow furrows and a tear slides down his cheek. “I promise you it will be okay, Namjoon. It gets easier, and people remember but they aren’t stuck forever. And I…” You falter, and it takes his eyes meeting yours to make you realize he can hear you. And there’s only one thing you’ve ever needed him to hear. 
“I love you,” You tell him. “I love you, and I will never forget you.” 
He surges forward, lips meeting yours in a rush of air. You moan at the feeling of him against you, realizing that for the first time since you died, you can feel something under your fingers. His skin is warm against your fingers, his lips soft against your own, and when he reaches up to cup your jaw with his hand, he doesn’t pass through your form. Instead his hand settles heavy against you, and he moves your head to lick into your mouth. 
Tears that won’t fall prickle at the back of your eyes and you climb into his lap before he can stop you. He’s still crying so you wipe away the tears before they can fall, pressing soft kisses to his cheeks, his dimples, his nose, every bit you can reach. A question sits at the back of your mind, and you can see it lingering in his eyes, but neither of you asks it.
“You’re so cold.” His whisper is nearly lost amidst the thunder that shakes the apartment, but it makes you smile a little. 
“Warm me up?” 
His chest is still quivering with unspoken sobs, but he nods. “Always,” he tells you. “I’m always going to be here.” It doesn’t take long to pry him out of his clothes, takes even less time for him to sink into you. It feels just like it did when you were alive, only magnified; you can feel him hot and warm inside you, can feel the beat of his heart in the firm muscle under your hands. His moans are quiet and hoarse but you wouldn’t have it any other way. 
He keeps one hand on your waist and the other on your neck, holding you close enough that he can kiss whenever he wants. “You’re beautiful,” He whispers. “The most beautiful person I’ve ever seen.” You just press another kiss to his chapped lips and let him dig his fingers in hard enough that it would bruise if it could. When he’s close to his peak, he stops thrusting, just sits inside you as he grinds your hips down to his, and presses his forehead against yours. 
“I love you,” He tells you, lightning casting his shadow across the wall for a brief moment. “I love you, I do, I wish-”
“I know,” you tell him before he can continue. “I know, Namjoon, I know, and I do, too. I love you, too.” He comes a few seconds later, the warm seed soaking into his sheets because it has nowhere to go. His warmth disappears from under your hands and his arms fall to his lap when the only thing holding them up is gone. All you can hear is your quiet sobs mixed with his and the rain against the window, and for the first time since you came back, you really, truly, wish you had died. There’s no point in being a ghost when you can still feel your heart breaking in your chest. 
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“Casper, are you ever scared?” 
It’s the middle of the afternoon. Namjoon is sprawled across the couch wrapped in blankets while Lucifer plays in the background and you doodle aimlessly on your board. You don’t need it as often now; you’ve gotten better at focusing your energy into being heard, though being corporeal still eludes you. You don’t know how you did it that night, but you’re grateful for it. 
“Of what?” You ask, looking towards him. He’s not looking at you or watching the show, just staring at the ceiling. He focuses at your words, lifts himself up into a sitting position. A shiver runs through him when his legs move through you, and you settle a weightless hand against his knee out of habit. 
“I don’t know,” He replies. “Just...whatever comes next. If there’s something that comes next. Being forgotten. Being stuck here forever.” 
You aren’t stupid; you know why he’s asking. The question lingers in the air, colors all of your conversations now, but the truth is that neither of you has the strength to ask it and neither of you knows the answer. 
“Sometimes,” You tell him. “Sometimes I wonder what Jihyo is doing, if she ever had a baby like she wanted to. I wonder if my parents are still alive, and what they say if they visit my grave, what they tell me now that I can’t respond to them.” 
Namjoon nods like he’s already thought of that, and he probably has. 
“Most of the time I try not to focus on it, though. It’s not helpful, it only upsets me, and I don’t…” You trail off, unsure of how to word your thoughts. “I don’t know what might happen if I only focus on the negative. I don’t know anything about what’s true about ghosts and what isn’t beyond that I exist now, and I can’t risk becoming something bad. So I try not to focus on it. It’s easier when you’re here.���
He grins and blows a kiss in your general direction, and you pretend not to notice the blood on his cracked lips. He’s quiet for the rest of the episode of half of another. 
“Have you ever seen a light?” 
“What?” He doesn’t seem to hear you, and you repeat your question on your board for him. 
“A light,” He echoes. “Like, the light.Y’know, the light at the end of the tunnel, ‘don’t go into the light,’ that thing.” 
You hesitate at that. You knew what he meant, what he actually wants to know here. He’s easier to read now than he was in the beginning. 
You watch him as he watches the space where you sit, curled up beside him on his couch. He can’t see you, of course, but he can see where the board rests in your hands. His gaze is heavier than it was when he first moved in; his cheeks are hollower, skin more gaunt with a grey tint that’s only made worse by the constant rain. The sun is just starting to break through the clouds, a brief reprieve after weeks of the dreary stone-colored clouds. It casts shadows along the walls, reflects off something in the window across the alley, and backlights Namjoon beautifully, casts a halo of light around the brittle brown hair you love. 
Once, you tell him. Just once.
“Why didn’t you go to it?” 
There are so many things you could tell him, so many different ways to answer such a simple question, but you find yourself lingering on the one thing you know is the ultimate truth. 
Because I love you.
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September comes with even more rain and a bittersweet atmosphere. Jeongguk spends his birthday at Namjoon’s apartment and then comes back a little over a week later, surrounded by the other guys and carrying enough food to last a few months. You stay curled on the bed, one of the only safe places for you to not mess with anyone or anything. Your board is tucked into the blankets, ready to be used but hidden from view just in case. You watch as Namjoon sits on the couch, tucked between Taehyung and Yoongi with both of them leaning into him as much as possible, Yoongi’s hands wrapped in one of his and Tae’s head on his shoulder. 
The other’s aren’t far, leaning against the back of the couch and on beanbags they’d brought with them, all laughing as Hoseok does his best to act out whatever he’d been given in charades. He’s not bad at it - you’ve guessed the last few he’s done - but he is utterly ridiculous in his mannerisms. You know why; it’s the same reason everyone kept smiling when Namjoon refused all of the food he was offered, why Seokjin would crack a terrible joke whenever it got too quiet for too long, why everyone is resolutely ignoring the growing pile of tissues on the table. 
It keeps a smile on Namjoon’s face, though, and a laugh in his eyes, and you can’t ever be anything but grateful for that. 
Hoseok stumbles, nearly falling and whirling his arms to catch himself before eventually falling anyway. You laugh along with the others, grinning at the way Hobi pouts and rubs at his hip. You’re focused on the way Joon laughs, the way it lights up his face and brightens the entire room, which is why you see it first. 
The tickle at the back of his throat quickly becomes a cough, wet and wheezing and enough to make him throw the blankets from his lap and stumble to the bathroom. 
You’re there before he is, helping him slide the door closed and locking it behind him as he bends over the toilet again. The six of them are quiet in the main room, speaking in hushed whispers that neither you nor Namjoon wants to hear. You turn the knob on the sink, wetting a towel while you drown out the sound of voices, and letting a hand run over Namjoon’s back. 
“I’m okay,” he mutters. You ignore the way his voice shakes, the way his lips are redder than before, the way this happens more often than before. Instead, you just press the damp rag to his neck and watch his eyes close in relief. When he stands and flushes the evidence away, you already have his toothbrush ready and waiting, and you stay as close to him as you can until he takes a deep breath. 
“I’m okay,” He repeats. “I’m okay. It’s my birthday, and I’m okay.” 
He goes back out with a smile on his face and a laugh in his voice, teasing Hoseok about the way he fell and reenacting it, even. When he settles on the couch, he urges the others to continue the game. There’s a brief moment of hesitation before Jimin declares that he’s next and pulls something from the bowl on the table. 
You know you aren’t the only one that notices the way Namjoon’s eyes linger on the six men around him, but you are the only one that notices the way they also linger on his steamer trunk, the shelf with his books, the TV, the record player, the scrapbook of his life that they all worked on and Taehyung pieced together over the months, the plants on the wall that he had cared for. He looks around his apartment as if he’s looking at it for the last time. 
As if he’s already planning who’s going to get what. 
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He finally asks the question you both have been thinking about, nearly two months later. His breathing comes in ragged pants, his lips stay chapped, and he keeps several blankets around him at all times to try to hide the shaking of his body. Your soft sobs echo through the apartment constantly; while you reheat the tea he doesn’t drink for the millionth time, while you quietly water and prune the plants he’s saved from death the way you wish you could save him, while you sit curled around him as he sleeps, soothing his coughs with quiet whispers. 
Night has just begun to fall, the rain of the day turning into a soft drizzle, and you stare at him blankly, unsure how to process what you’ve just heard. 
“Do you think I’ll come back?” He asks again, slightly louder. As if you hadn’t heard his shaky voice the first time. It’s not the question that floors you. You’ve been expecting this for weeks, months even. You’ve wondered it yourself as you prepare tea and ignore the sounds of him vomiting blood in the bathroom, as he disappears to the hospital and returns with a worse prognosis than before, as you’ve adjusted to the idea that you are dead and he is dying and you cannot do anything to help him. 
You never would have expected the hope that his words carry though. 
“Why does it sound like you want to?” You ask. Your voice is clear in the air and you’re glad for it, because this isn’t something you want to talk about through your board. 
“Because I do?” His response is delayed and sounds more like a question than a real answer. 
“Why?!” You demand. 
“Are you serious, Casper?” His brow is furrowed as he sits up and lets the blankets fall away to sit haphazardly off the couch. 
“Are you? Joon, why would you want to come back?”
“You’re seriously asking me that question? Why would I not? I’ve got so much I still want to do, I never thought I’d get the chance to after I got the diagnosis and now I might be able to. Why wouldn’t I want that?”
“Because it doesn’t work like that! You don’t get to just wander the world and fuck around, Joon, you’re dead.”
“Yeah, but you can still read and write and everything. I’d have all the time in the world to read the books I want to read, watch the shows I want to watch, write the music and stories and lyrics that I want to write.”
“Yeah, so long as it all stays in this apartment!” The light in the room flickers slightly with the force of your irritation. “You can’t do anything that isn’t in this room, Namjoon, you can’t use any of the electronics, you can’t read a book unless it’s here, you can’t write music unless it’s on actual paper, you can’t do anything.” 
“Yeah, and I could make that work. Why are you so upset about this? I thought you’d be happy.”
“Happy? You think I’d be happy that you’d be stuck in these four walls forever, too? Why would that make me happy?” Namjoon stands, running a hand through his hair and shaking his head. 
“Because I’d be with you! We’d be together, forever! Do you not want to be with me?”
“Of course I want to be with you, Joon, but not at the cost of you being stuck here. I don’t want that for anyone, certainly not the man I love.”
“And what if that’s what I want? What if I want to spend the rest of time with you? I’m already spending the rest of my life with you, I’m in love with you, I don’t want to leave you.”
“And I don’t want you to go, but Joon, why would I want you stuck here, too? This isn’t something fun. This isn’t anything that I enjoy.”
“Oh, so you regret it all then?”
“I didn’t say that, I just don’t want you to be stuck in a shitty studio apartment for who knows how long when you can’t fucking do half of the things you love! You wouldn’t go on walks, Namjoon, you wouldn’t go with Guk and Jimin to the movies, you wouldn’t get visits from Hobi, you wouldn’t get to shop with Taehyung or Jin, you wouldn’t get to drag Yoongi away from his thesis or celebrate with them when he finishes it! It’s not like being alive, Namjoon, you’d be dead and alone and in hell!”
“Whatever,” He mutters, shoving his arms into his coat. “Why can’t you understand for one fucking second that it wouldn’t be like that with you? I’d rather be stuck here forever than have to die in some shitty apartment and not even be able to touch the person I love.”
“Why can’t you understand that it’s still death? You’d be dead, Joon, your friends would go to your funeral and disappear from your life, and you’d be stuck staring out that window at that shitty alley for the rest of time. You don’t get it, you don’t how terrible it is to be stuck here and watch life pass you by.”
“Then why the fuck are you still here?” He asks. The door slams behind him before you can answer him, and your scream shakes everything in the room. You just barely catch one of the plants in the kitchen, a brown-potted one with ‘Shooky’ scrawled in Yoongi’s familiar handwriting, before it crashes to the ground. You return it to its place gently and huff another frustrated groan. 
You wish you could explain it better, but you know he wouldn’t get it even if you could. He doesn’t understand what it’s like to be trapped between four walls and unable to do anything without massive amounts of effort. And he won’t, not unless he experiences it himself. 
You’ve already watched him wither away. You’ve watched him become thin and sallow and a shadow of the Namjoon who first moved in, and you don’t know what you would do if he came back. You wouldn’t be alone anymore, of course, and you’d have him here with you, but at what cost? Namjoon was built for cherry blossoms and sunshine and the riverside. He would hate being trapped here even more than you do.
Still, you could have been more understanding of his view. You can admit that even being stuck in a shitty apartment wasn’t so terrible when you had Namjoon there to make you laugh or watch TV or read to you. It may even get better if he turned into a ghost; maybe you could hold his hands in yours, could feel him wrap his arms around you, could press kisses to his skin again. 
You move to the window and stand there waiting. It’s not good for him to be out, even if the rain had stopped a few days ago and the forecasters promised it was the end of the downpours. He was still weak, you’d be surprised he even went anywhere to begin with but you know he likes to walk to calm himself down. 
You worry for what feels like hours. You can’t focus on anything, not the way the sun starts to set, not the sound of cars passing or the neighbor leaving. You’ve worked yourself into knots by the time you hear his whistle echo up through the streets, nearly lost in the sound of some argument in the alley below you. You catch a brief view of his coat and smile when you see that he’s got some half-dead plant tucked under an arm. There’s the briefest glimpse of what looks like a Ca scrawled onto it, and your heart jumps in your throat.
You make your way to the stove, turning the heat up slightly too high so that it’ll be ready when he comes in. The arguing outside gets louder but you pay it no mind, pulling the honey out and setting it next to his favorite mug. You’re reaching for the tea when you hear something else. It definitely sounds like Namjoon’s voice, but it’s not in the hall or at the door like usual. It’s raised, like he’s yelling at someone, like it was just a while ago when he was fighting with you. A crash startles you and before you can even reach the window to see what’s going on, there’s a deafening bang. 
You slam your fist against the window, watch the red mix with dirt, and the kettle isn't that only thing that screams. 
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“I think that’s the last of it,” Jeongguk says. His voice is scratchy and quiet, but it’s deafening in the silence of the apartment. 
“Yeah,” Hoseok replies. His eyes are rimmed with red and his hands shake as he slides the last mug into a box. “Thanks for the help, Guk. I don’t, um.” He sniffles. “I don’t think I could’ve done it myself, y’know?” 
“I know,” Jeongguk agrees. They’re quiet again, adjusting the things they’ve boxed and avoiding finishing what they’re doing. 
“Oh, can you get that?” You don’t have to look to know what Hoseok is talking about. Jeongguk grunts an affirmation and makes his way over. It’s a strange feeling, having someone pass through you again for the first time since. His hands fly into the air as he tries to lift, clearly not having expected it to weigh anything. 
His reflection in the window frowns, and he tries again, tugging on the pot. 
“I can’t get it,” He says. “Do you think he glued these things down or something?” 
“No,” Hoseok replies as he wanders over as well. “He used to pick them up to re-pot them, remember? And the others came up with no problem.” 
“Well it’s stuck or something, you try.”
Hobi takes Jeongguk’s place and pulls hard at the plot, but your grip doesn’t waver. He huffs and disappears. When he returns, he’s got a butter knife in one hand that he does his best to slip under the pot. He tries hard to pry it up, so hard that you almost want to give in. You don’t though. 
The knife clatters to the floor with as much force as Hoseok can put behind it, a curse following quickly behind it. 
“Fuck it,” Hoseok says. His voice is shaky and you know he’s near tears again. “Just fuck it.” 
“But that was-”
“You can try if you want, Guk, but I just-” He chokes back a sob, shaking his head and moving to pick up the boxes he’d set down. “I just can’t, okay?” He disappears out the door in a hurry, and you wish you could follow after him. 
Jeongguk looks down at the small plant, with its painted periwinkle pot and soft leaves. He runs a quivering finger over the leaf and sniffles. He doesn’t try to lift it again, just stands and lets his tear soak into the soil.
“I wish you could come back to us,” He whispers. “We thought...we expected more time. It’s not...it’s not really fair, y’know? So if you can hear me, if you can come back to us, please do. Please.” 
He turns and leaves, the apartment door slamming behind him like the lid of a casket. Your grip on Mang loosens now that you know no one’s going to try to take it. You’d watched them pack everything else up; you’d let them take the steamer trunk full of records, the shelf full of books and movies, the collection of mugs, the soft blankets, the ratty couch, the rest of the plants he’d cared for so tenderly. 
Piece by piece they had packed Namjoon up and walked him out of the apartment, but this was the one piece they couldn’t have. This was his favorite and none of them knew how to care for it like you did, and you had to. You owed it to him. He deserved to come back to at least one familiar thing, never mind that you woke up not even a day later and it’s now been weeks. If there was one thing you wanted him to see when he got back, it was his favorite of his plants. 
The sun glares into your eyes from where it shines down on the city. It reflects off something in the window from across the alley, would be blinding if you actually had eyes. You pay it no mind, focused instead on the remains of the broken brown pot down in the alley, the way you’ve pieced them together in your head a thousand times just to trace the word Casper with your eyes. You can almost hear his voice saying it, even now.
You whip around, eyes darting through the empty space of the apartment as your hands tighten around Mang.
All that rests there is empty space, mocking in its loneliness. You remember when he moved in, remember how it felt to test the boundaries of the apartment and wish you were free. The want is still there, to leave and never think of it again, never think of him. You know better, though. You could never escape the memory of him, the way he laughed and smiled and spoke. You could never abandon Mang. Not when he said he’d always come back to you. 
You turn back to the window, cursing the sunlight with every other breath. It fades, slowly, into the black of night, before returning again, and again, and again. Days pass, each one feeling like years. Hoseok doesn’t appear to show the apartment, no one comes to collect the small periwinkle pot between your palms, and the ghost of his laugh echoes around you. 
The sun blinds you again. You don’t even know how long it’s been, just that you’ve yet to move. Light glints off whatever hangs in the window across the alley. That's when you see it, a vague reflection in the weathered glass of a dimple and a grin, and warmth surrounds you.
“I told you I’d always come back, Casper.”
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need2bi · 4 years
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okay since im rewatching 2gether, might as well make my reaction public lol
tine trying to be a supportive boyfriend by asking wat if something is troublig and wat’s himbo self being like “nah fam im good” god i love this dumbass
also tine not knowing how to talk about his feelings is so relatable help
honestly i would’ve LOVED to see sarawat at least one (1) question
tine’s smile while wat drinks..... Sir I Am In Love With You
also his blush..... Sir I Am More In Love With You Than I Was Before
“is the lyric about smile or happiness?” “don’t cheat” wat saw through his bullshit right there KSJFHKS
i wonder what’s in those glasses because it doesn’t quite look like coke but it obviously isn’t beer,,,,
ohhhhh “a friend from high school” ... explains tine’s reaction we see in the teaser when he introduces pam as his highschool friend
also explains why tine thought sarawat made that video for her instead of him. wat is in his high school clothes and tine probably thought it was before he saw him (when in fact it was probably recorded the same day lmao sarawat hopeless romantic)
tine: one more game! [spins the coin and supposedly falls on heads] wat!
sarawat: no one can talk to me if i fall asleep
i’m trying not to look at bright’s jiggly butt why is ass so fat fOR
it doesnt add the points here if i dont write something else so intro time yeet
yknow what . we need more earn and more pear in these two last episodes . i need my wlw rep and i need it Now
“personal space is important even for couples” still cant believe man was the owner of their braincell in this scene
tine giving all of type’s info away to wat so wat can give it to man who tine knows will use to pester him until he becomes his boyfriend...... say it with me: tine mantype shipper
“how did you know?” “i prayed to god” literally the funniest part ever
manboss: im not going good luck wat: you’re so full of bullshit
GREEN <3
i will just say that pink is tine’s best colour. i need him in every soft pink thing u can find. it accentuates his skin colour so perfectly and we are Here for it honeyyyy
MIL SHUT THE FUCKUP
sarawat being a savage (rachet booty nasty) we stan
bro get over him oh my god he’s taken and happy with wat LEAVEEEEEE
and man pestering type begins Now ksjfh
i’m like 100000000% sure that the only thing in that whole backpack is a pencil and half of an eraser
im also sure type saw him buy the book since u literally can see him from where man and that girl are and
hold up the waiter looks like a guy from whyru,,,,,,,,,,
i need someone to write a fic about tine being an astronomy lover and wat falling in love with him because of the joy in his eyes when he talks about the stars and interesting facts about the universe and new discoveries of galaxies and other things that wat doesnt really care about but he listens to either way because he’s too in love to shut off his brain
okay back to the episode sorry i just really had to say this
wat really said “don’t take advantage of me when i’m sleeping” when they haven’t even kissed.......... no words, completely speechless
tine probably thought he was being real sneaky right there lmao boy he fell asleep 2 seconds ago
god green really appears for 2 seconds and yet he steals the show KSFJHKFJFS he really was about to beat the person in front of him’s ass for not walking faster im crying i love him
BITCH SHUT UP AND LEAVE THEM ALONE STOP TRYING TO BE A HOMEWRECKER
wat looks so offended by his offer it’s so funny jhfksjhgj still MIL GET THE FUCK OUT
them running around is so funny when u know they had to do that like 20 times and were tired as fuck KSJFHKSHFS
WAT YOU SMOOTH FUCKER i love u
omg the bracelet truly isnt there at the start of the scene :-(
“nuisance tree” lemme just cry a bit
the music stopping here......... they truly played with our feelings there huh
WAT YOU SMOOTH FUCKER 2
the reactions are so kdrama outro i cant breathe KJHFJSFKJS
GET THE FUCK OUTTTTTTTTTTT
“well, you left him” IM GOING TO STEP ON YOU
bracelet where r u :-(
“it was here a second ago” it wasn’t im an obsessed bitch and noticed just as the scene there started
he looks so worried:-( tine baby
“i can make you a new one” “but i want the old one” why do i feel like that has more than one meaning,,,
half of the times wat touches tine’s head his hands are dirty as fuck lmaoooooo
is- is someone wearing a marihuana dress??????
manbosss again and he has a book
type is the teepakorn brother that can lie and will lie meanwhile tine can’t lie for a living
I LOVE THIS GUY GIVE ME HIS SELF CONFIDENCE
dim really made up a whole spirit just for wat to be with tine lmao i cant breathe (unless the pine tree spirit is an actual thing and he just used it for this specific thing lmao)
“that senior is me” “and who did you go with?” “that was a long time ago” “it wasn’t me, it wasn’t me” “green, drop it!” i love them KSFJHFSJHF
green and wats faces i cant bREATHE these are the faces of people who know this is all fake
BRO WAT WASNT EVEN THAT SLICK WITH THE PAPER IN HIS HAND SJKHSFHHKFS
my guess is that he had two papers that were the same number just incase they didnt get the same number but then somehow mf MIL had to come in and ruin it
i dont know who chose to make bright wear this much brown but it honestly fits him so well
coffee for his soon to be boyfie
man: loving u is kind of bothering? type: o_o man
he’s still reading the book kjshfsf WAIT HES SO CUTE
“you gotta miss me if i don’t show up one day” “just back off. i’m leaving. do not follow me. give me some time to miss you” okay tsundere ass bitch
type’s so rich he’d rather spend money on getting his tire fixed than get it fixed by man for free i hate rich people
he’s also too rich to care to check if his doors were locked i-
“for me?” “do you see anyone else?” bitch ass tsundere
type: smiles, realises he just did that, eyes cutely go o_o
type looks so cute in that scene for no reason im going to eat ur cheeks if u dont stop being a cutie
aaaaaand of course theyre not paired up
dude of course he is youre creepy and also trying to break his relationship apart only because u dont have the decency to see that you dont have a place in his heart whatsoever
dim honey........ jskhsjf
tine’s hair....... PLEASE I NEED TO TOUCH IT IT LOOKS SO FLUFFY
“the spirit doesnt like it when you pray with your eyes opened” did literally no one notice how nonsense that was? KSFJHSJ
GREEN U SCARED THE BABY WHY WOULD U DRESS LIKE THAT
he looks so cute im gonna cry like actually cry
weak ass blankets they gave them i swear
if u cuddled then u wouldnt have been cold but noooooo ur big puppy boyfriend has trust issues
baby:-((((((((((( i will cover u with a blanket and give u lots of kithes and hugs
tine having his phone die at an important moment and also having no sense of direction whatsoever is so relatable lmaooooo
thank god for the rain because otherwise sarawat wouldnt have ran the way tine actually went lmao i wouldve beaten dims ass if mil was the one who found him
this scene hurts so much:-(( his throwing the grass like that in complete defeat??????? the flashback to him saying that bad things seem to happen to them lately makes my heart break
the soft touches:-((((( please im gonna Cry
dnotsaysorrydontsaysorrydonsaysorrydontsayHE SAID SORRY FFS
baby :’((((((
“i prayed for something but i havent redeemed that prayer yet” “what did you ask for?” “it’s if i got to see you again, i would show you the video i made. it’s the song your smile you are so curious about” BITCHHHHHHHHH
HES GONNA SHOW ITTTTTT YES I LOVE HOPELESS ROMANTIC HIGHSCHOOLER SARAWAT
he’s all shy i cant breathe he cant even look at the screen skjfhksh
oh so it was on the same day sksjhj forgot about that
I CRY I LOVE HIM SO MUCH
tine is all blushy im gonna sob i love these two
im trying not to scream and tines reaction to wat telling him he went to every scrubb concert just to look for him
ITS NOT GONNA GET STUCK ON THE VIDEO BABY HE WILL LIKE U BACK IN A YEAR!!!!!!
“i like you” “yeah. i know. i like you too” AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA IM LITERALLY REWATCHINNG BUT I STILL JUST SCREECHED AT THAT I LOVE THIS CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT
their smiles after he said it tho.......... my heart hURTS
wat: the wish only drew us to cross paths again. us being together is because of something else, tine: what then? wat: shout out to my homies for being there for me since day one i love u bros
THE FLASHBACK AAAAAAAA I FOUND HIM YES U DID BABYYYYYY
boss’s whistle after he tells them that he only said he would kiss him until he dropped lmaoooooo
“his name is tine. [with the softest voice ever] what a cute name”
manboss looking at each other like this bitch is so gone for this random dude but we’re gonna support him because we’re the only friends he has
wat was probably wishing the pool had water in it so he could throw both of them into it at that moment KJSFHJSFHF
“he’s the one i like” “shiiiiiit” same dim, same
fan dee nAAAAAA
his ass was so gone he was gonna make his ig username lovetine i literally cant believe him
boss having the braincell in this scene i love it
“but earn has a boyfriend” LIES. SO MANY LIES. ITS A GIRL. SHES A WHOLE LESBIAN.
boss once again being the owner of the braincell...... im starting to think he owns it half of the time
“you get it now? us being together is not a coincidence. it’s because of us” WAT YOU SMOOTH FUCKER 3
wait,,,,, tine’s little head tilt,,,,,,, SIR I AM IN LOVE WITH YOU
the stars!!!!!!!!! theyre there!!!!!!
“i think nothing bad is going to happen anymore” honey you got a big storm coming
it ended :’(((((( my beautiful boys i love this episode and drama so much i swear
lets watch the next episode teaser
i dont think tine is gonna lsiten to pam saying that but if he does,,, baby pls dont overthink okay he loves u and wont leave u for anyone in the world
phukong dont come back to him he knows that u like him and will play with ur feelings
type is gonna have to choose between im guessing either a boy interested in him from work or man and im gonna vote for him going with man lets hope i win
WHAT IS WRNOG WITH U BRO GET OUT HES HIS BOYFRIEND OF COURSE HES GOING TO CARE AND WORRY YOURE JSUT A CREEP FOLLOWING HIM AROUND HOPING THAT THEIR RELATIONSHIP ENDS SO U CAN SNEAK IN UGH
“is pam your first love?” WHY DID U END THE TEASER THERE AAAAAAA BITCH
im so glad that the episode comes out today because i Need to know more
okay thats it if anyone read all of this first of all sorry kjshkfj and second of all thank u ,, u didnt have to but u did and ily for that okay bye
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