#and i was so fit before and i just dont feel like myself at all

[darkvolley]

Excuse the YouTuber in the corner I'm too lazy to switch to a different video but, it's probably a pretty easy conclusion to come to that KH might function off a somewhat stable time loop but nothing has really made it feel blatantly obvious than realizing that actually, since Ansem SoD sent Young Xehanort to Scala, that would mean there would have to be a starting timeline where the first SoD went back to start the loop, meaning there has to be a timeline where Xehanort never left Destiny Islands MEANING there has to be a timeline where SoD never existed, and as such neither did Xemnas and Terranort never happened along with basically everything else. So are we in fact confirming that KH does indeed function off a stable timeloop that never truly "started" somewhere and has just always been this way, or what in the world could have happened to still lead Xehanort to Scala without interference? Cuz now I have to wonder, if we're going by stable timeloop, then either Sora creates the tear in time every loop effectively creating endless ones over and over which could lead to a bigger problem(or not a problem at all if it's supposed to happen??) OR this is somehow the first deviation, which doesn't feel likely considering obviously Quadratum and Srelitizia being there seems to be decidedly factored into the equation here, but maybe I'm wrong. Maybe it hasn't been. Or maybe the problem is that Sora's genuinely not supposed to be there. Idk where I'm going anymore, but basically if time started somewhere and it hasn't always been a loop, how did we get HERE to the point in the screenshot where SoD/practically everything was able to exist to "create itself" essentially??? And I don't think that's possible without outside intervention, so it's gotta be a stable timeloop!

#(and heres how i can prove MoM is future Sora from the past cuz time loops back around!!!) no i dont wanna make it about that even tho i do #but also now i wonder how MoM meeting young nort even factors into anything when it feels like dark road is the reason he went down his path #like. what further push could meeting MoM have possibly given him that dark road didnt??? #especially since its before the exam #granted imo nort seemed so absent emotions wise from everything happening in DR that i feel like it didnt really affect him at all #i think some interal dialogue from him would have helped tremendously cuz hes just so blank during the whole story #like it does fit his personality as the quiet guy but like. it makes it look like he doesnt care about anything happening #so i mean. if he kinda didnt then yeah maybe the MoM meeting did help push him along #granted i dont remember half the dialogue and ive barely started the video the screenshot is from so like. let me cook before you correct me #i'll correct myself when i get there and remember all the dialogue lol

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

#sorry im thinking abt death again #because it's weird to think that ive been in the room. maybe a meter away from someone as they died #that someone being my mom. its just weird. the time in the hospital feels like it happened in some dark little pocket universe detached from #time. a calm room and then the soft blips of a monitor then the nurse rushing in to say she'd passed #i dont kno y ppl use that phrase: passed on. i mean i do. it softens the topic. makes it sound peaceful. ive yet to use it. i just say she #died bc thats what happened. is that insensitive? i dunno. when i was home i realized that i come off as much stranger than i think. the way #my family see me doesnt fit how i see myself. i dont kno what to do with that. i dunno. theyre all together today #for an early easter. and im halfway across the country again. nose so stuffy ive had to mouth breathe for the last 3 days #and again. everything feels the same as it did before but also profoundly different. sometimes i cry in the mornings. or when i think abt #future vacations she wont be there for. bc in the end she quickly slipped away in a way that couldn't be described as peaceful until her #last half a day. and all i can think about in that tiny room is how scary it would be to lose control like that #and how its not fair and she didnt deserve to die only halfway through a lifetime. but its not about fair and its not about deserving. #sometimes bad things just happen. that's life. and now i own a book called motherless daughters. and now im standing with the countless #others who've lost their moms too early. ive already become aware of 3 ppl in my daily life who are in the same club #i keep thinking about this moment that happened between my parents at the hospital. apparently my dad was helping her get cleaned up and her #stomach was so bloated she looked like she had a bby in there. which my dad said. and my mom apparently said: but it's a baby no one want. i #dont kno y that upsets me so much. all the things i heard abt her being in the hospital before i got there upset me. and the rest of my #family was there to see it. so i have the least traumatic version of the story. and i got almost 27 years with her. except my sisters #probably got more time with her bc i spent so much time away. or maybe not. i dunno. #i dunno. im just sad that shes gone and sad that it was drawn out even a little bit. 6 days isnt long but im sure it felt like an eternity. #again not fair. nothings fair. 53 years of unfairness culminating in a tragedy. she would hate me characterizing it like that. she lived a #full life as they say. full with an asterisk on account of length #unrelated

[simonstamenovic]

ok hi haha lol I dont rly feel like going in circles in my head forever trying to figure out whether, among other "smaller" things, being left alone in a room w only media as a child and not feeling like I had even a semblance of a personality for most of my life counts as "trauma"

a lot of these parts of me are new, I'm just recently putting names to them and it feels as though I'm developing facets of personalities in my mid 20s after a lifetime of either feeling like I'm basically just ADHD in a person, an amalgamation of kins shoved into a body, or something made of guilt Also shoved into a body.

I don't like, claim to know what this means. but I don't think a lot of my current mutuals would feel comfortable interacting w me bc I don't necessarily believe in the black and white of what plurality is. I'm not able or planning on getting any formal diagnosis and while I'm discussing this w my therapist they're very much not one to pathologize

I definitely don't feel like one person but I dont think id count for most of you as a "system" as the different parts of me feel as though theyre still developing. take all of this as you will, I'm not going to stress my body out more by trying to figure out "what" I am as I've been doing that my whole life and I'm kinda tired of it.

I know that I'm not entirely one thing and feel Enough like multiple things for myself, but blurred in a lot of ways. like some sort of gem with many different facets.

not sure where to go w this tbh take this how you will. im not comfortable saying I'm leaning one way or the other regarding system discourse, (<- not a phrase i want to use but the best shorthand i have) as I genuinely don't believe the human brain is nearly that black and white.

I'm both "me" and very much not "me" at times. idk what this means but ik I'm not comfortable saying im just pandora and im not sure im "allowed" to say im a system and im not sure if it matters, or should matter, regarding friends. im going to be like this regardless, id unfollow me if this grey area im likely to stay in bothers you

if you don't want me refollowing I'd probably block, too, as my memory is bad

#puts this in my drafts to publish at atime to cause maximum damage to my #social circle and mental health bc i LOVE conflict and pain #< A JOKE lmao this has been causing me severe distress for ages so whatever unfollow me idc #outgoing transmission #idk when im gonna publish this ive been going back n forth w my therapist a lot #rhis maybbe repetitive im just uhh tired and have been legitimately driving myself crazy overthis for ages #bc honestly like i didnt exist as a person until age 14 at least and that person #wasnt... me. isn't me they dont exist to me anymore and im not sure #the one before 19 existed either its all fractured #is that trauma?? or is it something else. does that make me endogenic to you?? i really dont know or understand #you can decide for yourself. but im not comfortable saying either way. #i barely feel comfortable existing. i dont exist? as i type this 'i' is wrong but nothing else fits so far #we could go for we and we have befkre bht so far its so nonexistent whats the opposite of i #nothing...? [ ] #some blank. the dilemma is that nothing is real. #these tags are not. genuinly i am fake. #this will get published sometime in a haze and this body will wake up to a disaster. #not enough bridges burned i guess. sure. #back 2 sleep dont send me asks abt this jst block if ur gonna block

[frecklystars]

i dont know what's wrong with me but i always feel so sad and heartbroken when i see Colt.

like i feel so overwhelmed with love for him but i really cannot imagine him loving me back. like. like. he's everything. and i'm just keri. y'know.

augh. it feels... impossible. like i am not Good Enough for him. he would not look twice at me. i didn't used to have this problem until i was abused for so long and now it's like... i cannot imagine receiving love unless if it is through violence. oogh. hurts my heart like a motherfucker. i miss the old me.

#before this year happened i was always SO 100% ready to self ship #i would look at ANYONE. any any ANY character in the WORLD #and i'd be like. oh they'd love me!!! no doubts in my mind whatsoever. they LOVE me!!!! even the worst villains ever!!! #BUT nowadays im constantly like. ok i am not good enough. i am not pretty enough #i am not [insert word here] enough no matter what i'd do to change my appearance or personality to fit someone's desires #i *never* used to look down on myself THIS often and to THIS degree #now i genuinely believe that i cannot be loved unless it is through violence #or that im only desirable if im in a vulnerable position where im in pain or hurting bc i was told it made me 'cute' #and like?? it's stupid? they're fictional? why can't i just... stop thinking that lowly of myself? #my abuser is gone so why am i still believing all of the things they said to me?? #i want Colt to love me for Me. i want Ken to love me for Me #but i also feel like. im unlovable to them unless if im useful or... bleeding or beaten up or something. christ #TF f/os are gone. out the window. i lost them. and im so scared of losing my Ryan F/Os too when i need them so badly #idk how to be myself bro i dont know where the old me is!!! #im being stupid im sorry i just gotta throw this into the void 😭 #vent #delete later #abuse mention

[the-kipsabian]

.

#death // #really tho just. losing two family members within a week from one another is. really rough #even if it is from natural causes and old age it still feels very sudden #and even if we werent that close it still hurts #little things remind me of the grandparents i dont have anymore. like making dinner and realizing im not eating their cooking again #or my grandmas favorite songs. its just. rough #im just thinking a lot. and not looking forward to two funerals within the next few weeks #just.. yeah. i feel kinda fucked up on the inside. more so than usually but for once not cause of myself #its. odd to me. grief hasnt really been constant in my life in years. apart from losing my brothers cat few years ago #before that i lost my other grandma like eleven years ago. since then immediate family has been okay #its just weird. i dont really know how to grief. it comes in waves and odd memories and it feels really.. idk. off to me #ive had few crying fits over some random things but i just feel. numb. maybe its cause of the sudden frequency of these #or cause i dont know how to deal. its strange to me. feels out of place to mourn something other than what i made myself lost #maybe its cause while there was a connection there was a larger disconnection. i havent seen either of them since covid started #idk. regrets and shit and whatnot. i just feel all but nothing at the same time #just. just saying. idk. just wanna clean my brain a little. its been a difficult day. sorry #night is an absolute mess on main

[lunarsapphism]

.

#found a picture of me in a dress from last year #and realized i tried that dress on the other day and have a photo that looks almost exactly like it #same pose and everything #checked the date and realized that i took them (unknowingly) almost exactly one year apart. the difference is only like two or three days #and its just weird cause like. ive lost a fairly significant amount of weight since then #and what they dont tell you about growing up not skinny is that if you do lose weight at some point and become smaller #it doesnt necessarily feel good?? yknow? like in your brain i mean. #i feel so incredibly weird about it. especially seeing the side by side. #and its also not that i think that i wasnt pretty even though i was not confident in myself at all. cause i was! i think i was at least #and i think im pretty now too. but i think the feeling of weirdness comes from the fact that most people would look at those photos and go #'oh you look so much better/healthier now!' or something along those lines. #like other people would see me now as an improvement rather than the exact same guy just at a different stage in my life #does that make sense?? i hope so #its hard to convey this idea #idk. its weird. i like the way i fit into clothes better and i like the way my body handles my chronic pain a bit better now #but i feel a lot of guilt for thinking that way because i have quite literally never looked like this before #and if im happiest with the way i look now then what does that mean for the body i had my whole life before this? makes me sad a bit :( #ive always wanted to love every version of myself #but god it is so hard to do that when fatphobia is raging and rampant literally everywhere #aiilov-personal

[quaranmine]

why is trying to feed myself as a single person so awful. why does my apartment always contain both not enough food (nothing for lunch) and too much food (my food keeps going bad because the stores dont sell a small enough portion size that i can eat before it goes bad)

#like if it aint getting moldy or stale before i can finish all of it #then i'm scrounging around because i got nothing for lunch #this is then compounded by mental health because one of the first things i lose is my appetite/will to make food whenever im feeling Bad #it's also compounded by my fridge being tiny. i cant just stick things in my freezer IT'S TOO SMALL #so i dont buy bread because i cant get a small loaf normally. and i dont have room to freeze it. so i have no sandwiches. #but i have cheese and meat. but i often dont finish them off because if i had *bread* i could do more things with them #repeat ad naseum #i try to just make something for myself and eat off leftovers for a while #even then it can be a struggle to fit the tupperware into the fridge

[angelhound]

.

#have been writing lately instead of painting and idk…. how i feel about that #never have i considered myself a writer #i mean i write bad romantic poetry sure. but im writing fiction. novels if u will. and i Like it. :/ #its uncomfortable. idk. maybe if i make companion paintings itll feel less obscure. perhaps a web comic will come out of it #ive never been into structured writing ever ever. but it felt… salty. like sweat drying on your skin. gratifying. to finish a whole piece. #it was a fit of mania perhaps. and i have more still bubbling there is much to create. i just have never created in this format before #hate it almost. digging my heels but its pointless to resist where the water knows to go you know? i cannot feel this way about painting #if that is not what is meant to be made at this time. the wild horse of inspiration will not bend to my comfort #yes i know i am an artist in the worst way. yes im aware of how i sound. i am not proud but i suppose i cannot either be ashamed #if i cannot be another way #idk i always wanted to be an airhead lol. before anyways. my grandfather does not understand his gift is as enviable as my own #hes not an airhead you could not imagine so after listening to him. but he is enigmatic in that way. #socialized better maybe. the gift of living as you imagine because you are not imagining at all #i never wanted to be reclusive. driven by fits of madness. but i dont have another way known to me #the life i imagine is lived by those who are not imagining it #but idk i think less nowadays. it helps to figure myself an unsocialized dog. something to be solved by careful hands #ugh. god with how i talk sometimes i wonder how it surprises me to become a pos writer. who else talks like that #anyways im incredibly ill still lol going to again attempt to shower the virus out of me

[fabulouslygaybean]

man. one of my rottmnt ocs (the one i posted a day or two ago to ask about which pattern i should add to his face/head) is frustrating me so much bc like... he's walking a suuuuper fine line between oc, sona, and self-insert, and it was NOT intentional but that's what it's turned into

#i. project onto him a lot bc its FUN to do that. its fun to imagine a character that acts like me in a fictional world i love!!! #but im lowkey pretty embarrassed about the idea of openly SAYING he's a sona or self insert bc like... he doesn't fully fit either? #its fucking weirdddd. i don't know what to call him but i feel like i have to figure out what he'd count as before i post him #bc he's crazy similar to me. i keep throwing my traits and interests and all that at him and he's basically an altered version of myself - #- at this point. but he's not ME me. he is but he isn't. it's confusing. #can i just call him a fan character? would that be easier?? i dont fucking knowwwww #ive been doodling him all day trying to get his patterns figured out and so im thinking about him a lot

[yongseungkim]

.

#like i definitely need therapy lol #not that i havent tried in the past nothings just worked/stuck like the therapists werent a good fit for me perhaps #so im trying to reach out again because holy shit #i want to a) get out of my phd and b) have normal fucking friendships #but its so hard right now when anxious thoughts take over SO much some days like i know i cannot do this on my own #i have good friends i know who will hear me out #but man its the same thing over and over again with me but in a new font sometimes i swear #and my friends dont need to hear all those anxious depressive thoughts lol like #once in a while sure esp my closer friends but all the time? nawr #i have been trying to journal but man the emotions just bubble up and i dont feel better until ive like said things out loud #so honestly just having someone to rant about the same issues over and over again might be nice lol . #but i need to find a therapist that fits which is the hardest part #i do think ive made small strides on my own which is nice #but the emotions are just so loud and genuinely affect my day to day like its so hard battling things on my own #im at the point now where im like this cant go on for much longer somethings gotta change #if i want to have a phd in the next year and if i want to maintain friendships normally #and esp if i wanna stay roommates with this girlie cuz holy shit its been a lot harder than i expected maybe #i dont think i can do it on my own without major reprecussions #bro its also been like so long #i feel like ive always had some human i was extremely fond of for the past ?? years albeit most of them were like fake right like in the kp #*kpop world so it was fine when it becomes a real person it is absolutely terrible let me tell u . #but its also been a habit like i didnt realize how terrible my thoughts w ys were until now cuz they really wernet normal thoughts at all #like i want to break free of having these kind of attachments to people in a way cuz the only way i feel like ive been able to deal with bi #feelings is by transferring them to a new subject which isnt what i want anymore #like i just want it all to stop! #i also feel like mentally ive gotten worse ?? than before ?? in some ways like #i dont know if i want to make new friends and connections anymore #the same way i was trying so hard in the previous year which is worse bc now my efforts are like #SOLELY on this one girl in a way which is NOT. GOOD. #ive been trying to have conversations with the third roommate but i have to force myself?

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

#head instructor to the TAs in the lab section i TA for: how r u guys feeling abt the workload? #me who hasnt graded anything since week 1 and spent an hr that morning filling out a patient safety plan: 🙃 #listen. we r experiencing symptoms that make us shitty at our job. which is not helpful for a positive outlook #i was also experiencing horrible cramps at the time bc i lost my ibuprofen and 2 days ago i stopped the birth control in a desperate effort #to stop feeling terrible. but in this moment i feel alright. its wild to go from drastically unhappy to like lol wtf was that? anyway stop #being a bby loser. for no obvious reason. im gonna start the birth control again to see if i get depressed again or if that was just me lol #i dont think my therapist understands the depth of my executive functioning issues tho. bc im a grad student and can meet deadlines. like #let me tell u im a fucking disaster abt starting things. i will go back and forth and get nothing done forever. or i do things halfway and #make everything 30 times more difficult later bc no one else understands how my brain works #ah well. itll b fine. sometimes i just get freaked out that i wanna b better and i dont kno how to do that. so i spiral in despair a lil #ill b fine. im good at catching myself before i get too out of control. annoyingly tho i am not currently beating the bip0lar allagations #bc whatever tf is wrong with me i do probably fit the diagnostic criteria for bip0lar 2. i dont kno y that freaks me out so much. i guess #its bc it feels like something i cant just make better thru force of will and i grew up in a home that was very obsessively #health conscious to the point my dad gets anxious abt taking a single ibuprofen. so like ive been conditioned to get freaked out by #medication. literally my grandma will call me and tell me to b suspicious of doctors and to not take medicine unless absolutely necessary. #like lady u r the genetic reason i have 0cd shut the fuck up. also it feels like something that would more negatively affect how ppl think #of u than saying oh yea i get depressed or i have anxiety. like the connotation feels worse im used to just telling ppl whatever tf #my problem is. so the idea of holding something back feels weird. which annoys me bc i dont think there should b so much of a stigma. its #bullshit. anyway idk. im tired. i was trying to think of a comfort tv show with my therapist and all i could think was the terror #when im depressed i wanna watch those English mother fuckers suffer and die. i just lov that show so much. harry g00dsir my beloved. the #most me coded character to ever exist #unrelated

[fly-sky-high-09]

Yet another 4am staring at the phone

#it's probably just the kind of weird day where this feeling happen to hit harder but #there is strong sense of lacking #i dont feel like i blong anywhere #my whole life i just sort of rolled with people i'd meet through circumstances and befriend them #when i couldn't really form myself as a person for what ever reason I can't even explain yet #and I'd just vibe around people I was comfortable to be around #content with just an idea of a 'role' of a background character who is trying to support and be there for others #until i lost a grip of all of that slowly because i started to grab hold on some of individuality i never formed before #and it turned into a mess i only realized existed when i took therapy #and i am here with people and friends but somehow it's not fully clicking #not like it used to when i was jack of all trades in friends groups #now i'm sticking out like a sore thumb #i'm feeling like I'm not a comfortable person to be around in person any more #this is a first time I feel so alienated from the world due to how I'm currently perceiving myself #it doesn't really matter how others do but to me it's always something not clicking #something about me sticking out and not fitting with anyone else #it's a weird feeling #and it makes me feel lonely for the first time in forever

[poorlittlevampire]

i’m trying to better my life but it is so hard when i feel so behind everyone else my age and feel like ive run out of time. thinking about how old i’ll be in four years makes me wanna kms it is not encouraging

#im trying to force myself to follow thru on things #but i get so discouraged and feel so embarrassed and bad about stuff i just give up #need someone to beat me with a metal rod or something #not in a fun way but in a corporal punishment way #found an online program i think is a good fit for me and i just. man #i hate myself so much for doing this to myself #like fuck high school me they ruined everything dude 🖕 #‘i dont need to go to college im gonna be dead before i graduate high school anyways’ IDIOT!!! MORON!!!!!! U LOSER #anyways #hi #sorry for bringing back the kms stuff but yknow. mental illness and all that

[unamused-kookaburra]

I hate when I have a meme in my head that's perfect for what I'm feeling and it takes me ages to find the right words to describe it to google but once i find it it isn't exactly the way I remembered it and it just doesn't convey the same emotion.

Anyway I was really excited to cook tea tonight but it doesn't taste the way I imagined it would and now I'm in a bad mood

#the more i look at the picture the more it fits the image in my head #or i could just be falling victim to that false eyewitness testimony thing where your memory is actually shit and easily altered #but anyway #ive been craving sweet and sour pork lately but its gotten so expensive so i thought id cook it myself even though i hate cooking #but all the recipes are so complex so i just bought sweet and sour sauce in a jar #but the one i found didnt look right so i grabbed another one too just in case #and i cooked the one i had the most faith in but its just not it #it tastes like any other pre made sauce #but im convinced the other one wouldve been perfect #but im going to have to wait a week or so until i feel like having chicken for tea so i can try it #oh yeah i used chicken instead of pork because i was going crazy looking at pork cuts and how to cook them right #and now my chicken is cold because i had to get this out before i could eat it 😠 #this is why i dont cook #personal

[shoresalt]

long post about school

i cant help but take academic advice and suggestions and marks so personally as if they reflect who i am morally and my personality. even the simplest mistake of formatting a citation incorrectly ((when citations weren't even necessary i just wanted to provide a source... ) makes me think i am unfixable. and then i see 80s on my report cards and freak out inside. but if anyone else told me they got that mark i would be happy for them. i dont view even lower marks as a representation of my friends? so why do i assume others are having those thoughts about me? is it because i dont know my teachers very personally? and they're more prone to making assumptions about me? (are they even, really??) i feel offended when i see that i'm not at the top of my class. because it makes me look lazy compared to past grades, even if my teachers and classmates didn't even know me then. i'm afraid they'll see me failing and be mad or rude or think i'm no good. grades never affect the way i perceive others. why isnt it the same when i flip it to myself???

i need to find a way to understand that that advice will result in me learning! it does! i have demonstrated this! i can learn from my mistakes!!! i already understand it, logically, but it still pains me anyways. maybe its the permanence of grades. the way they dont change even when i learn something correctly or fix a mistake.

#diary #i think the whole gifted thing makes me very stuck-up and when i do something wrong or fail even a little bit it is like a shot to my ego #i relied in my childhood so much on feeling better than others because i was smarter. i wasnt ever by much but that's still what happened #its sooo fucking humbling then growing up and just being normal. why didnt my special qualities follow me as i grew up??? its not fair but #i think i need it. it's necessary for me to actually learn right? #now i have a reason to teach myself proper ways to study and improve and i have to put in effort like everyone else. like i absolutely #deserve to be humbled in such a way. i dont know if its because being so stuck up made me rude or mean or bad or maybe its just the fault o #the education system for making me feel better than others when i wasnt rlly. its probably both equally. its my fault for believing and #trusting that i was gifted all the way into highschool when the label clearly didnt fit me anymore #like it shoukd have been obvious when i didnt get any special treatment and wasnt bumped up a grade or anything like that #anyways anyways #im looking at it now like this is things being worse before they get better. i just need to adjust. im comfortable with that fact. i'll be #more comfortable with it eventually. especially once i'm proud of my learning again. (maybe that restarts a bad cycle. i'll be careful.) #writing out stuff is so much more useful than i realised hahaha

[tinylittlebab]

blah

#wow i have spiraled quickly #anyway. i have so much cute clothes and im getting a pair of cute boots soon and they will look so good on me when im skinnier #like. i could be alt bitch th/in/sp/o if i just starve myself enough #ive been planning to get more cool clothes tjis year when i turn 18 and get a job and im gonna look so good in then when im so thin #like. i have actual hope that maybe itll work this time bc i dont live with my parents who i gotta hide it from #currently my other sister lives here but shes gonna move out in like a month and once that happens then ill be home alone almost all day #again so itll be so easy to just not eat unlike before when i never had time to myself. its not unusual that my sister goes to work before #i wake up and then im asleep when she comes back and if im barely eating ill be more tired so like. i really dont gotta worry about her #asking me to cook very often! idk. i wanna get some cute clothes when i lose weight. ofc im kinda worried if i decide to recover again #that ill gain and then not fit in them after spending money which would be sad #well. maybe ill buy some in my current size in xase i gain weight again just bc #i dont trust my disabled body to fuck me over and then i gotta gain weight bc im going to doctors so its probably smarted to do that #i wish i knew what the underlying health issue i have thats causing my hair to fall out bc its not my ed #id been eating plenty every day for a year and my hair still fell out constantly #i wake up every morning with my hair fallen out wrapped around my ahoulders that got pulled out while i slept and its stressful #well. at least it will start to feel comforting like im getting sicker like it used to instead of juat scary like it is now