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#and i was like yes!! absolutely as soon as this semester ends for me i would love to come to (our home town name)
babybluebex · 1 month
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venus pt.1 | angus tully x fem!reader
summary: after being accepted as barton academy's first female student, you didn't think it could get any worse. as the fall semester progresses, you start to form a friendship with the outcast, angus, but what happens when the holidays come and you are the last two students on campus? PART 1 OF 2 pairing: angus tully (the holdovers, 2023) x fem!reader tags: canon compliance (this is a complete rewrite of the film, just with the added reader insert), lots of swearing, teddy is an asshole but what's new, 70s ideals about feminism (which YES is a warning), mentions of grief/loss author’s note: oof here we go, part 1 of my long-teased angus fic! be aware that this is literally 11k words, so i apologize for the absolute brick wall of text you're about to encounter (but don't worry, i put a read more on it :) ) also, if i missed any warnings/tags, pls dm me and let me know if you think i should add something! other than that, enjoy!
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There were worse fates than this, right? There had to be, you were sure of it. You felt every pair of eyes on you as you walked down the center aisle of the chapel, acutely aware of the overwhelming masculine energy that you were drowning in. After all, at Barton, it wasn’t every day that these boys saw a girl. You wondered how long some of them had gone without laying eyes on a member of the opposite sex (a real one; skin mags don’t count). 
It also didn’t help that the priest at the front of the room had intentionally brought everyone’s eyes to you the moment you walked in. You had tried to slip in unnoticed, but he had said “Ah, here she is now: our very first Barton lady! Come sit up front with the headmaster!” 
You anchored yourself in the frontmost pew, next to the headmaster with a hippie beard, and kept your head still and staring straight ahead. You had known very little about Barton before that school year— you were from nearby Boston, and had gone to a larger high school with, not only a more mixed gender breakdown, but a significantly different economic situation than Barton. You had been shocked, as you took the bus from town to campus, at how many Mercedes and Cadillacs you had seen near the school. You felt like a fish out of water, in more ways than one. 
The priest didn’t end his taunting when you sat down, though. “Many of you probably wondered, when you got on campus for the beginning of the semester, what the new building next to the dormitory was,” he began, and you heard a few mumblings from the row behind you, confirming their confusion. “Well, gentlemen, this year… Barton has become coeducational. The new building, Blackwell Hall, named for the esteemed Elizabeth Blackwell, is the girl’s dormitory.” 
The mumbling behind you increased to a dull rumble, and you slightly turned your head to get a glance at the boys sitting behind you. All high school boys, kids your age, staring at you and wondering what your deal was. You took notice of one boy in particular, the only one around you not gossiping with his friends, totally uninterested and picking at his cuticles. Before you could even think to wonder about this boy, someone from near the back of the chapel yelled “Is she gonna be in classes with us?” 
“Yes, she will,” the priest said. “She is a junior, so, gentlemen, make sure you welcome her warmly to our school.” 
You sat and endured chapel while burning from all the stares in your direction, and, as soon as the priest dismissed the lot of you, you shot up and made your way to the doors, clutching your handbag close to your body. The August air hit your face as you stepped out, and you started back to Blackwell Hall, where your things sat, ready to be unpacked, but someone called out to you, demanding your attention. 
“Hey, girl!” You turned to see who had shouted, and you were met with the sight of a boy with caramel-colored hair, wearing a sports coat and tie. Come to think of it, all the boys were wearing coats and ties. You hadn’t been told anything about a uniform, and suddenly your jeans felt less than appropriate. The boy had a cigarette in his hand, and he beckoned you over to him, and you clenched your back teeth as you (for some reason) obeyed. 
“You’re a junior, huh?” the boy asked, and you nodded. “What classes are you taking?” 
You pursed your lips. “Precalc,” you began. “Ancient Civ. Home Ec. Bio.” 
“Gym?” he asked, and you shook your head. 
“There’s not a girls’ locker room,” you said, hoping he understood your explanation. 
The boy ashed his cigarette, and he said, “What period do you have Ancient Civ?”
You tried to recall what you had written down, and you said, “Fourth period, I think. With Hunham.” 
“Oh,” the boy said with a winning smile. “I’m in that period too. Maybe we could be study partners.” 
You drew in a breath and cleared your throat. “Maybe,” you said softly. “What’s your name?” 
“Teddy,” he replied. “Kountze.” 
“Right,” you mumbled. “Well, um, I’ll see you around, Teddy.” 
“Um, are you going to the cafeteria?” Teddy asked hastily, like he was looking for something to talk to you about. “I-I was about to head there, and, if you wanted someone to sit with, I have a spare seat at my table.” 
“I’m not,” you told him. “Gotta get back to my dorm and finish unpacking. I only got in town today.” 
“How did…” Teddy started. “How did you get in? Your folks hear that Barton was going coed and got you in?” 
You shook your head. “I went to Central High School, in Boston,” you replied. “I was doing a research project and saw in a newspaper that Barton was going coed and having a lottery for the first female student. I sorta put my name in as a joke, and then, when I won, it… Wasn’t really a joke anymore. I had to take some academic placement tests, since Central isn’t exactly a highbrow school, and I got a scholarship that covered a lot of my tuition. The board of trustees waived the rest of it, so…” 
“You’re going here for free?” Teddy asked incredulously. “Jesus, I didn’t even know we had scholarships.” 
“Of course you wouldn’t, Kountze,” a voice said from nearby, and you turned your shoulder to see the boy from chapel who didn’t give a shit about you. He stood tall, rail thin, a mop of dark curls on top of his head. He had eyes like black holes, his pale skin so translucent around his eye sockets that he had purplish-red bags underneath. “Nobody’s going to tell the bottom scum about possible academic achievements. It’s cruel to tease people with something they’ll never have.” 
“Fuck off, Tully,” Teddy snapped. “Don’t you have some porno mag waiting for you?” 
The boy (you supposed his name was Tully) pushed his hands into the pockets of his coat and skulked away, and you scoffed under your breath. “Charming,” you mumbled, but you couldn’t tear your gaze away from his back as he left the scene. 
“Jesus, yeah,” Teddy said. “That’s Angus Tully. Biggest asshole here, thinks he’s better than everyone else. God knows why, he’s such a fuckin’ loser. He’s in Hunham’s fourth period too.”  
You furrowed your eyebrows at Angus Tully’s back, and then redirected your attention to Teddy, who was presently snubbing out his cigarette with the toe of his shoe. “I’ll see you in class tomorrow,” you said softly, and, without another word, departed for your dorm. 
You appreciated that Barton had built a separate dorm for the female students, but, seeing as you were the sole resident of the building, you were irked by it. It was too big and empty, too lifeless and soulless. Certainly, they had built it with future generations in mind, hoping that more girls would eventually enroll and prove the building a necessity, but, for now, you found yourself aching with loneliness. You missed your mom and your sisters, in your small apartment in downtown Boston, just a few blocks from your old high school. You missed hearing Linda Ronstadt records playing from your older sister’s room (the one she shared with your mom), or the ceaseless sound of the air conditioning unit buzzing away in the window of your room (the one you shared with your other older sister). Barton just felt too… Good for you. But, it was as your mother had told you: it was an opportunity that you could not afford to pass up. 
You didn’t have a lot to unpack, and you hung up your clothes as you chewed your lip. For some reason, the interaction outside the chapel was sticking with you. Not Teddy, although he certainly had made himself hard to forget. No, you were thinking about Angus Tully, apparently the head asshole of Assholedom. You would be seeing him tomorrow too, for the first day of classes, in Hunham’s Ancient Civ class. You had never taken a class like that— your old school didn’t even offer the Advanced Placement program, so obnoxiously pretentious classes like that were out of your realm of understanding— and you were almost worried that you would flunk right out. 
You tossed and turned all night, dreading sunrise and morning. Breakfast was served at 7, and classes began at 8, beginning with Precalc for you, then transitioning into Biology. After third period free, you had Ancient Civ, then an hour for lunch, then Home Ec, then your last few hours of the school day were reserved for something that, on the fax paper that you had been given at the front office, was called “Secretarial Studies”. You hated to think what that meant (surely, Barton wasn’t trying to prime you for being a secretary and nothing more), but mostly, it meant that your school day basically ended earlier than for others. 
You awoke early, showered and scrubbed yourself clean (the water pressure in the shower was better than the fourth floor apartment that you used to deal with), and you dressed yourself in what you hoped was becoming of a Barton girl. The dress had initially been purchased as an outfit for special chapel occasions, Christmas and Easter or whatever, but you knew that your regular jeans and wrinkled t-shirt wouldn’t be enough for your new shiny academy. 
Once again, as you entered the cafeteria for breakfast, you felt all eyes on you. You scanned the room for an empty seat (you didn’t fail to spot Angus Tully, sitting at the cornermost table, not conversing with everyone else) and sighed when you saw an open chair right next to Teddy Kountze. He spotted you and waved, and you made your way over. 
“Hey there,” Teddy said. “How was your first night?” 
“Fine,” you shrugged noncommittally. “Kinda quiet, though.” 
“Yeah, nobody else in the whole building,” Teddy sighed. “No roommates or anything; that must be nice.”
“Nah, not really,” you replied. “I got used to my mom and my sisters, and it was just too quiet. Not nearly enough chaos for me.” 
“How many sisters do you have?” A boy across the table from you asked. 
“Two,” you said. “Both older. And my mom lived with us too, so there was always something going on.”
“Shit, for sure,” the boy said. “Are you gonna join any clubs while you’re here? Or sports or something?” 
You didn’t exactly love the way that the boy said that. “While you’re here”. Like you weren’t going to stay at Barton for very long. “I don’t know,” you shrugged. “I’ve never really been a sporty type. I might see if the yearbook needs help or something.” 
“You could join chess club,” the boy laughed, and Teddy (and pretty much everyone else at the table) laughed too. 
“Why? What’s so funny about chess club?” you asked. 
“Nothing,” Teddy sighed as he finished laughing. “Except that Tully’s ugly mug is there.” 
“Tully?” you repeated. “Angus?” 
“Do you know him?” a different boy at the table asked. 
“No, not at all,” you said quickly. “Just… Heard some stuff about him, that’s all. How he’s apparently a douche.” 
“You’ll see,” Teddy assured you. “In class, try to challenge him on something. See how he reacts, and you’ll get why we all hate him.” 
You wrinkled your nose at the thought, but decided to not let it bother you. You made your way to class, hanging close behind Teddy and not really listening to him as much as you were admiring the school building. It was so… Old. So was your old school, but Barton was beautifully old, whereas Central was just old. Dark, shiny wood everywhere, framed oil paintings of people; it was a feat. You finally separated from Teddy when you reached the classroom for Precalc, and you hesitantly stepped in. A handful of guys were there, sitting on their desks and chatting, and the room fell dead as you stepped inside. You hazarded a small smile, and quickly made your way to the back of the room, your preferred spot in any classroom, but you were stopped in your tracks. 
Angus Tully. He sat in the back corner, close to the window, his tie loose and crooked around his neck. He was looking out the window, but his eyes slid over to you as you approached the desk beside him. 
“Hi,” you said gently. “Can I… Um, can I sit here?” 
Angus shrugged, as if he didn’t care, and you slung your bag across the back of the seat before you settled yourself down. You tapped your fingers on the desktop for a moment, wondering what the next course of action was, and you mumbled out, “I-I heard you were in chess club?” 
“Yeah,” Angus grunted out. “What about it?” 
“Oh, nothing,” you said, anxiously smoothing your skirt on your thigh. “Just, umm… I was wondering if there was, like… If you guys were open to new members.” 
“Probably,” Angus said simply. 
You nodded slowly, waiting for his next words, but they never came. “Right,” you said softly. “Okay.” 
To your disappointment, Angus Tully and you shared every class together, except for your free period and Home Ec. His demeanor never changed a single bit throughout the day, sullen and curt. He didn’t speak during class, didn’t answer questions or even seem as if he was paying attention. It was odd. You were thinking about it as you settled into a desk in the back of the Ancient Civ classroom, and you yourself were hardly paying attention to the teacher, a one Mr. Hunham, until he called your name. “Miss?” he said, and you lifted your cheek out of your hand. “Would you like to introduce yourself?” 
You blinked a few times, your face positively burning hot, and you cleared your throat. “I’m sure you all know my name by now,” you began. “Know that I went to a public school in Boston, got in here on a lottery and a scholarship… I guess there’s not much else to know about me.” 
“Have you ever studied ancient civilizations before, Miss?” Mr. Hunham asked. He seemed well-meaning, if maybe a little sarcastic. 
“No,” you told him. 
“Any experience with Latin?” Mr. Hunham asked next. 
You deflated. Shit. This was that sorta school? “No,” you said, a little quieter this time. 
“Well, that’s alright,” Mr. Hunham said. “We’ll catch you up to speed. Now, gentlemen— Ah, and lady— let’s open our books to the first chapter.” 
All during class, you felt hot tears pricking at your eyes. You were humiliated. All these words and names that everyone else seemed to know, and you had no fucking clue what any of it meant. It was all Greek to you— Latin, actually, but that didn't matter. As Mr. Hunham was mid-sentence about some sort of war, the bell to end the class sounded throughout the room, and you instantly closed your textbook and began to shove it into your bag. “Read the rest of the section tonight!” Mr. Hunham called over the sounds of your classmates packing up and chattering. “There will be a quiz on Friday!” 
You shouldered your bag and tried to avoid eyes as you skated out of the room, but a voice saying your name held you back. You hoped your eyes weren’t red as you turned to see Angus standing limply in the hallway. He had stayed quiet during Mr. Hunham’s class too, sitting again in the back corner, and you had managed to forget about him as you wallowed in shame. “Yeah?” you asked. 
Angus carefully walked closer to you, and he said, “The library has tutors sometimes. If you need help with Latin.” 
“Oh,” you said softly. “Thanks. I just… Didn’t know people still spoke that.” 
“Not really, it’s a dead language,” Angus said. “But it’s helpful sometimes in classes. A lot of Ivy League schools have Latin courses that are required.” 
“Well, thank God I’m not going to an Ivy League school,” you chuckled mirthlessly. “I’ll be lucky if community college takes me.” 
“You go to Barton, colleges will be fighting for you to go there,” Angus shrugged. 
“But I’m not somebody,” you protested. “I’m not a senator’s kid, my dad isn’t a CEO, like… I just go here.” 
“But the name is good enough for schools to want you,” Angus said. “They want the prestige, that’s all.” 
You thought on it for a moment, and you mumbled, “Thanks, Angus. I’ll, um… See you tomorrow.” 
The whole first week of classes progressed at a snail’s pace. Every day was torturous— all of your classes, except for Ancient Civ, were easy. Home Ec was a complete wash, since you already knew how to sew and cook, and Secretarial Studies was just as you had feared: teaching you to type, mostly, but nevertheless skills needed to do office work. You were a little offended; you were the only student in the class, which was helmed by the front office manager Ms. Crane. Obviously the boys didn’t have to take this class, so what was Barton trying to say? 
Finally, it was Friday night. Your dorm building was quiet again, and, even though they had provided a rec room with a radio and a few bookshelves, there wasn’t too much for you to do. You curled a loose thread from your sweater around your finger as you considered your next move, and you sighed as you grabbed your keys and shuffled into your shoes. 
You pushed your way into the boy’s dorm, and there was a palpable change in energy. The lights seemed brighter, the air thicker, sounds coming from all manner of places. Some doors were open, the residents standing and chatting, and you could distantly hear the sound of a television playing somewhere on the first floor. Much livelier, more lived in; you wished you could have been placed there instead. You followed the sound of the television down the hall, past the chatting boys, and you noticed how conversations paused as you passed by. You despised that. 
The door to the rec room was wide open, and you peeked in nervously. The television was playing some rerun of Gilligan’s Island, and boys were scattered to all corners of the room. Some played pool, some sat on the couches, some stood by the open window and smoked, but everything seemed to stop as you crossed the threshold. You made your way to an empty section of the couch and sat down, grinding your teeth as boys young and old watched you. You sighed, and you said, “What’s going on?”
The boy next to you, some kid that you knew was in your Bio class but didn’t know his name, frowned. “Huh?” he asked.
You jerked your head towards the television. “The show,” you said. “What’s happening?” 
“Oh,” the boy said, and everyone resumed their conversations. “Umm, don’t you have a TV in your dorm?” 
“Just a radio,” you said with a shake of your head. “What episode is this?” 
The boy shrugged. “Wasn’t really paying attention,” he said. 
You bunched your mouth up and sighed again, and you stood up. You could sense the disappointment as you left the rec room, but you couldn’t stand being in there any longer. You knew that being ogled at came with the territory of being the only girl at a boys’ school, but you couldn’t imagine it would have been anything like this. You slipped your hand into the pocket of your jeans and found a few errant coins in there, leftover from some excursion from God knows how long ago, and you started up to the second floor. In your building, there was a bank of phones on the second floor, and it made sense to you that this building would be the same. 
Luckily, you were right. There was just as much business on the second floor as on the first, but the little phone bank was a calm corner. You sighed and examined the phone for a moment, trying to find the slot to put your dime, and you frowned. What the fuck?
“Just dial nine, and then the number you wanna call.” 
You jumped in fright. “Jesus Christ!” you seethed, whipping around to see Angus. He sat in a shadow of the phone bank, a book in one hand and a half-eaten apple in the other. He looked a little more casual than he did in class, his tie gone and shirt unbuttoned one or two to show the top of his undershirt. Still looked a little Grim Reaper in the face, though. “You scared the shit outta me.” 
Angus huffed a short laugh through his nose. “Thought you saw me,” he said. 
“I did not,” you mumbled. “Where’s the coin slot?” 
“These aren’t payphones,” Angus told you. “Just dial nine for a non-school number, then dial away.” 
You drew in a deep breath and shoved your dime back in your pocket, and you picked up the phone and started to rotate the dial, starting with nine, then going for your family’s apartment number. You felt Angus’s gaze seering on your back, and you cradled the phone to your shoulder as it rang. “Do you mind?” you asked. 
“Do I mind what?” Angus asked. 
“Scram, man,” you sighed. “I’m trying to call my mom, and I don’t want you listening to it.” 
“Well, you shouldn’t have come to a public phone if you wanted a private conversation,” Angus said, and you tilted your head at him in annoyance. “Doesn’t Blackwell have a phone bank?”
“Yeah,” you said. “But I didn’t wanna use it.” 
“So you came here instead,” Angus said. “I think you like the attention.” 
You swallowed thickly, anger tepid but starting to rise. “You don’t know me at all,” you bit at him. 
“Why’d you come to this building to make your call if you knew that every guy would stop to stare at your ass?” Angus asked. “You knew that. You’ve been here a week, you know by now that you attract attention. I think you like it, but you can’t admit it because you have that whole quiet mystery girl thing going on.”
“Fuck off, Tully,” you mumbled. “I’m not here to be some goddamn puzzle for you to solve. And I’m not gonna fuck you if you figure out my backstory, so just go away.”    
“Who said anything about fucking?” Angus asked smugly. 
You glared at him and that stupid crooked smirk on his face. “Stop staring at my ass first and we might get somewhere,” you told him lowly, just in time for the call to pick up. 
“Hello?” your mother said, and you sighed in relief. 
“Mom, thank God,” you laughed lightly. “You took so long to answer, I was worried nobody was there.”
“Oh, no, pumpkin, I’m here,” your mom told you. “I was just in the shower.”
“Is Rachel not home?” you asked. “Or Anna?” 
“Rach is at work,” your mom told you. “She picked up extra hours at Neiman Marcus. She thinks they might promote her to manager at the end of the year.”
“Oh, wow,” you mumbled. “Good for her. And Anna?” 
“Started taking night classes,” your mom said. “She started on Monday too.” 
“Cool,” you chuckled. “What’re you doing tonight? I think ABC is showing some sort of movie—”
“I’m going on a date,” your mom said, and your mouth went dry. 
“What do you mean?” you asked. “Like… With a guy?” 
“Yes,” your mom said carefully. “He’s nice, I met him at work. He’s taking me to a movie and dinner.” 
“That’s…” you started. “Cool, Mom. Good for you.”
“What about you?” your mom asked. “Surrounded by all those boys, there has to be someone who’s caught your eye.” 
You sighed. Your lip trembled, and you closed your eyes. You were acutely aware that Angus was still sat behind you, and the fact that you hadn’t heard his book turn in a few minutes meant that he was absolutely listening to your phone call, the little shit. “No, not really,” you said. “Everyone here is either too rich, too smart, or too… Asshole-ish. Some are even all three.” You made a point to turn your head towards Angus, and you heard his little huffing laugh before you turned back to the phone. 
“Oh, well,” your mom said. “Maybe you’ll find someone. How are classes?” 
“Fine, I guess,” you said. “I’m taking a class about ancient civilizations, and apparently I missed the class where they teach Latin, so I’m sorta lost. And Home Ec sucks because I already know how to do all that. And they’re making me take something about how to be a secretary, and that’s so infuriatingly sexist that it makes me angry.”
“It’s a bunch of men, in charge of a bunch of boys,” your mom sighed. “They’re trying their best to adapt to you.” 
“I can’t even take gym class because they don’t have a place for me to change clothes,” you lamented. “Not that I wanna take gym anyway, but you see why I’m upset!” 
“I know, pumpkin, it’s okay,” your mom said. 
“Why would they go coed if they can’t even integrate girls in properly?” you sighed. “I wish I had just stayed home and gone to Central. Would’ve saved me a lot of trouble.” 
“You’ll be alright, you’re still just adjusting,” your mom assured you. “But… If, by Christmas, you still don’t feel like you belong there, I’ll pull you out and you can go back to Central. But I have to know by Thanksgiving, so I can start the paperwork in time for spring semester”
“Sure,” you said. “That sounds good to me.” 
“Alright, baby,” your mom said. “Richard will be here any minute, and I have to finish getting ready. I’ll be at work until 4 tomorrow, but call any time after, okay? I love you so much.”
“Love you too,” you mumbled, and you held the plastic phone by your face as you listened to your mother hang up and the dial tone drone. After a moment, you hung the phone back up on the hook, and you readied yourself for Angus’s petty insults as you turned to leave the phone bank. But they never came. You eyed him, sitting there on the wooden bench, his dark eyes focused on yours, and you snapped, “What?” 
“Nothing,” Angus said lightly, sliding back into the darkened corner and picking up his book. “Nothing at all.” 
That was your weekly exercise. Week in and week out, all you did was classes. You wanted to avoid as many interactions with the others as possible, so you stayed quiet during class, kept to yourself, didn’t accept invites to parties or football games or to sit at lunch tables. You took to having lunch with Ms. Crane in the front office, and she seemed to commiserate with you about all the boys. “Some of these kids are real stinkers,” she told you. “But they’re teenage boys. I think it’s a law that they have to be.”
Your saving grace was the deal you had made with your mom. If you could just wait until Christmas break, you could go back to your old school, to your old friends, and you could forget about the hell that was Barton. You kept your grades up, so that Central could see that you hadn’t turned into some kind of slacker, and you consistently got B’s and A’s in your classes. Except for Ancient Civ. 
The exam booklet slapped down on your desk, a red F blazoned across the front. You sighed and started to thumb through it, trying to figure out where you went wrong as the other boys also realized their grades were low, and your heart sank when you saw all of the multiple choice questions without a flaw. So it was your essay question that led you astray. On the very last page of the booklet, you found your essay, handwritten yesterday on something about ancient philosophers, and a red note in Mr. Hunham’s handwriting. See me after class. 
You could hardly pay attention to the conversation between Teddy and Mr. Hunham. Your mind was racing, wondering what he wanted to talk to you about. You should have gotten a perfect score, but something held that back. Surely he didn’t think you had cheated? Or copied someone else’s work? You thought that you and Mr. Hunham got along (as well as any student can get along with their strict, hardass teacher) and your heart sank at the thought that you had definitely somehow disappointed him. 
“... Offer a makeup exam” got your head out of the clouds, and you focused on Mr. Hunham at his podium. “You’ll all get a second run at this after break.” The class muttered and mumbled, only to be cut through by Mr. Hunham’s next words: “Of course, it will not be the same exam. You will now be responsible for new material as well. Your grade will be an average of the two.” 
As Mr. Hunham instructed the class to open their books to a new chapter, you were shocked, along with everyone else, when Angus spoke. “No offense, sir,” he began, and you sucked in a breath. You had learned that, whenever any of the boys at Barton didn’t intend offense, that offense was certainly on its way. “But is this really the best time to be starting a new chapter? I mean, we all appreciate the, uh, makeup exam gesture… But our families are here.” 
You rolled your eyes. Speak for yourself, Tully. Your mom had to work that day, as did both of your sisters, and you gotten instruction to take a Greyhound into Boston and someone would meet you at the bus station to bring you home. It wasn’t exactly the best plan, but it was what worked. Your mom had arranged with Barton to let you back on campus during break to empty your dorm room, and you sighed a thing of relief. Almost done. You were so close to leaving Barton in your dust and washing your hands of the entire school. 
“Most teachers have already canceled class,” Angus continued. “We have chapel in forty minutes, then we’re out of here. I mean, our heads are elsewhere.” 
“And where exactly is your head, Mr. Tully?” Mr. Hunham asked, and Angus shrugged. 
“Uh, I don’t know. St. Kitts.” 
Jesus. Of course Angus Tully was going to fuckin’ St. Kitts for Christmas. You would be lucky if your family could afford to have the heat turned on for Christmas. 
Your annoyance turned to dire anger when Mr. Hunham decided to scrap the idea of a makeup exam and dismissed the class without another word. You hurried to shove your exam booklet in your bag, and you glared at Angus as you edged out of your row. “Thanks a lot, dick,” you mumbled, then left the room, not even waiting to see Angus’s response. Your heart raced as you tailed Mr. Hunham, and you finally called his name as he approached the door to his private office. 
“Ah, Miss,” Mr. Hunham chuckled. “Yes, yes, let’s sit down and discuss your exam.” 
“I-I didn’t do anything wrong,” you said hurriedly as he unlocked the office door. “I didn’t cheat or plagiarize, you didn’t even mark off any points. I don’t understand why I failed.” 
Mr. Hunham said nothing as he led you into his office, and you wrinkled your nose. God, it smelled bad in there. Nevertheless, you sat down in one of the chairs across from his desk, and you waited with bated breath as he sat down in his seat. He examined you for a moment, for long enough for you to start to feel weird under his walleyed gaze, and, finally, he said, “In actuality, Miss, you didn’t fail. You got the highest score in the class.” 
“B-But I got an F…” you protested. “Angus Tully got a B!”
“I wrote an F on your paper, but you actually got a 98,” Mr. Hunham told you. “Near-perfect score, I only took off in your essay question for misspelling ‘Periclean’.” 
“Oh,” you mumbled. “Then, why’d you write an F on my paper?” 
“Because I was disappointed in you,” Mr. Hunham said. You felt sick. Your skin was hot and your stomach roiled, and hot tears pricked at your eyes. “I heard from Ms. Crane that you were leaving Barton.” 
You nodded silently. 
“And why is that?” Mr. Hunham asked. 
You sighed. “I miss my old school,” you admitted with a thick throat. “My old friends. Nobody likes me here, and I… Just think I’d be better off back home. I’m not a Barton person.” 
“What is a Barton person to you, Miss?” Mr. Hunham asked. His hands were clasped at his chin, his bifocals in his fist. He seemed genuinely concerned about you. 
“Someone not me,” you said. “Rich… Smart… Important. All those guys are gonna go to good colleges, and I’m gonna be stuck waiting tables my whole life.”
“You are smart, Miss,” Mr. Hunham told you. “You passed all your classes with flying colors, you made Latin look like a piece of cake. If you wanted to, you could go to any college in the country. Or the world!”
“I wouldn’t even be here if it wasn’t for that stupid lottery,” you mumbled. “I don’t belong here, sir, we both know that.” 
Mr. Hunham fixed his mouth in a thin line and sighed, and he said, “Of course. Well, I do hate to see you go. Your essay on the siege of Troy was… Very good.” 
“Thanks,” you mumbled. “Umm, have a nice Christmas, I guess… See you around.” 
Chapel that day felt exactly the opposite to your first chapel at Barton. The dread that had filled the air at the beginning of the semester had now changed to an excitement about going back home, and, even though you still felt like everybody was staring at you, you couldn’t shake the feeling. You were done. You had made it. After you moved during break, you’d never have to lay an eye on Barton or any of those boys ever again. You had to admit that you were going to miss Ms. Crane, and maybe even Mr. Hunham too, but the positives far outweighed the negatives. 
After chapel let out, you hurried back to Blackwell Hall and grabbed your suitcase and changed out of your nice dress, and you made your way to the front of campus, where a Greyhound bus sat, waiting to take kids into the city. You stepped on board, taking a seat towards the back of the bus, and you looked out the window at one last gaze at Barton Academy. Although, you couldn’t admire the architecture or the pretty way the snow glistened in the midday sun. No, you could only see the tall, lanky, dark-haired kid standing on the steps of the chapel, waiting for someone. 
Even though you despised Angus Tully and didn’t really care if he lived or died, it was a sad sight to see him waiting like that. He looked so dismayed and forlorn, his suitcase at his feet, his hands in the pockets of his winter jacket. Maybe in another world, you and Angus could have been friends. Your mind wandered, thinking of meeting Angus somewhere else— your mind conjured the image of a bookstore, reaching for the same book and having a little back and forth on who should have it, before Angus acquiesced, but not before writing his phone number in the book. 
The rumble of the bus nearly lulled you asleep on the two and a half hour drive to Boston, and you roused yourself as the bus pulled into the station. Gathering your things, you departed, along with a handful of other Barton boys. They quickly found their families that were waiting on them, and you wandered through the station. Your mother hadn’t indicated who would be picking you up, or where in the station to meet them, and you made your way to a payphone. You were sure she was at work, but you wondered if you could call the restaurant and ask for her. Before you could put your dime in the phone, though, you heard your name being called, and you looked to see an older man smiling at you from across the room. 
Fear flashed hot in your face, but you kept your composure as the man approached you. “Hey, you look just like how your mom described you,” he laughed. “I’m Rich.” 
“Who?” you asked. 
“Rich,” he repeated. “I’ve been seeing your mother for a few months. She’s working the afternoon shift, and your sisters are both busy, so your mom asked me to get you.” 
“Oh,” you nodded. “Right, yeah. It’s nice to meet you.” 
“You seem tired,” Rich told you. “Long day?” 
“Like you wouldn’t believe,” you chuckled. “I’m just glad to be done with Barton, that place can go to hell.” 
“I thought Barton was a boys’ school,” Rich mumbled. 
“It’s a long story,” you sighed. “But whatever, that’s in my rearview now.” 
“Alright,” Rich said. He seemed confused, but he took up your suitcase for you. “We already put fresh sheets on the pullout, so when we get back, you can take a nap if you want—”
“The pullout?” you repeated. “Am I not sleeping in my room?” 
Rich winced. “Ah, well,” he began. “You see, my daughter is sleeping there, and—”
��Your—” you started. “Why is she in my room?” 
“The bed was vacant,” Rich shrugged. “She’s lived there for a few months now.”
“And why is your daughter living with my mom?” you asked. “Do you… Did you move in?” 
“Well, when your mother and I got married, we figured it was the logical thing to do.” 
Your heart nearly stopped. Married. Your mother had gotten married, and hadn’t told you a single thing about it. No wedding invite, no pictures, not even a ‘hey, Rich and I are getting hitched!’ You felt sick and lightheaded, and you tried to take a steadying breath. It just sounded all shaky and unsure, though, and it made you feel even worse. “I, uh…” you began. “I…” 
“What’s wrong, pumpkin?” Rich asked, and the camel’s back broke. Nobody can call you that but your mom. 
“Who the fuck do you think you are?” you asked. “Rolling in here, doing all this bullshit, and for what? Are you trying to prove something? Win an award or what? Let’s see how quickly we can marry the single mom, that’ll go down great with her three adult children!” 
“Rachel and Anna said they were okay with it,” Rich said. 
“But you didn’t ask me!” you cried. “God, this is exactly what she wanted, huh, throw me in a boarding school and forget all about me? Fuck this, I don’t need this.” You snatched your bag from Rich and turned on your heel quickly, and you didn’t even hesitate when Rich called “Where are you going?” 
“Anywhere but here!” 
You begged and pleaded with the Greyhound driver to take you back to Barton. He said that he had to stick to a schedule and was really sorry, but he changed his tune when you dug into your bag and grabbed your pocketbook, pulling out a few 20s. You didn’t have a lot of money in the first place, and watching those bills go in his pocket hurt, but, in the end, you got back to Barton just as the sun was starting to set. You knew that whoever was staying over break would be shocked to see you (maybe even elated, depending on who it was), but you didn‘t care about reactions. You just didn’t want to think at that moment. 
You followed the low din of boyish muttering to the cafeteria, and you steeled your nerves for entering. You could discern only two voices, maybe a third if you listened through the thick door hard enough, and you quickly pushed on the metal handle in the middle of the door to slam the door open. 
Heads whipped towards you. You didn’t recognize a lot of them— some younger kids, and a guy that was on the football team and was a senior— and your heart sank into your stomach when you saw Teddy Kountze sitting at the dinner table. So you would be spending Christmas break with Teddy. Great. 
But the bad feeling got worse when you saw who was sitting one seat down from Teddy. Angus fucking Tully. He stared at you with no joy or humor in his eyes, and you huffed out a breath. 
“Miss?” Your gaze went to the head of the table, and a little bit of relief washed over you as you saw the face of Mr. Hunham. Was he supervising the holdovers? “What’re you…?” 
“Got room for one more?” you mumbled, approaching the table and securing the seat between Teddy and Angus. You instantly reached for the serving dishes, wanting anything to occupy your shaking hands, and you slowed to a stop as you noticed the whole table staring at you; even Angus wasn’t trying to hide it, his black eyes as big as dinner plates. “What?” you barked, and the energy resumed at the table in a snap. 
Dinner was finished soon after, and Mr. Hunham pulled you into the hall as the boys were cleaning up. “I thought you were going home to Boston for the holiday?” he asked gently. 
“I can’t…” you started. “It seems like I don’t even have a place in my own family.” 
“What do you mean?” Mr. Hunham asked. 
“My mom got married without telling me,” you told him. “And the guy and his daughter moved into our apartment, which could barely fit me and my mom and sisters in the first place, and now they’re there, a-and she’s in my room! That fucking bitch is in my room, and I-I—” 
“Easy, easy,” Mr. Hunham said, putting his hand out to placate you. “Calm down. Listen, I understand that this is hard, it’s awful, but resorting to that is not what’s going to help you. We’ll find a place here for you tonight, and tomorrow we can call your mother and try to get this straightened out.” 
“Can I not go to my dorm?” you asked. 
“The school shut off heating and plumbing everywhere except the main building,” Mr. Hunham explained. “We’re sleeping in the infirmary.” 
“Jesus Christ,” you huffed. You were so angry that you could kick something. “So now I gotta bunk up with them?” 
“It’s definitely not ideal,” Mr. Hunham mumbled. “But it’s just for one night. We can put up a partition, if that would make you more comfortable.” 
“Fuck it, whatever,” you sighed. Your eyes hurt, and a headache was starting to throb at your skull, and you said, “I don’t care.” 
The boys were split into two rooms, the youngers (and Angus) in one, and Teddy and Jason in the other. The only other empty bed was in Teddy and Jason’s room, and you were quick to settle in and start off for the bathroom. Just as you were leaving, though, a beanpole in a white shirt and flannel pajama pants stopped you in the doorway. 
“Hey,” Angus said curtly. “Where’re you going?” 
“Shower,” you told him. “Brush my teeth, stuff like that.” 
“Why did you come back?” Angus asked. “A little birdy told me that you were quitting Barton.” 
“I…” you started. You wanted to tell him everything, but you were worried about the leverage he’d have if he knew. “I don’t think that’s any of your business.” 
“Nah, I think it is,” Angus said with narrowed eyes. “We know why everybody is holding over. His parents are on a mission trip, his family is in Korea, Kountze The Cunt’s having his house remodeled, and Jason’s dad is waiting for him to cut his hair. Why’re you here?”
“Why’re you here, Angus?” you asked. “I thought you were going to St. Barts or St. Kitts or something.” 
“Obviously not,” Angus said quickly. 
“Then, I’m obviously not quitting Barton,” you said, and instantly regretted it. “I might be… Haven’t decided yet.” 
“What, don’t you like it here?” Angus asked. “Isn’t it a glorious beacon of education and brotherhood—” He stopped himself, dramatically clenching his fist in front of his face. “Oh, that’s right. Brotherhood.” 
“Shut up,” you huffed. 
“C’mon, man, leave her alone,” you heard Jason start from the room behind you, but Angus either didn’t hear or didn’t care.
“You left, and then came back,” Angus said. “What’s wrong? Mommy decided she didn’t want you anymore?” 
You couldn’t help yourself from letting your tears spill over your lashes, and you clenched your teeth. Angus held your eye contact for longer than you thought he would, and he only averted his eyes when your tears gathered at the corner of your mouth. You drew in a shaking breath, aware that everybody was staring at you, watching you cry, and you sniffled and left the room without another word. The showers were empty, and you jerked the handle to start the water, then locked the door to the room. 
Your tears flowed freely then, and you sat on the tile floor and sobbed into your hands. You hoped that Angus could hear you crying from down the hall, and you hoped that he felt bad about his words. Knowing him, though, he had forgotten about you as soon as you left his eyeline. 
By the time you finished your crying and your shower, the lights were off in both the rooms, a soft snoring coming from Teddy and Jason’s (and your) room. Your pajamas didn’t feel like they were enough for the cold in the infirmary, and you edged by the snoring Teddy in his bed to get to yours. The sheets were crinkly and dry and rough, and you bundled the wool blanket up to your chin as you tried to sleep. 
That was destroyed, though, when you heard a “Psst!” come from the doorway. 
You sighed. “Fuck off, Angus,” you mumbled sleepily. 
“Just— Can I—?” Angus huffed. “I’m trying to apologize to you.” 
“I don’t want your fuckin’ apology,” you said. “Just leave me alone.” 
“I shouldn’t have said that to you,” Angus whispered. “I was… Out of line. Or projecting or something, I don’t know. My mom and stepdad went to St. Kitts, but uninvited me so they could celebrate their honeymoon. I guess I’m just familiar with how it feels to not be wanted.” 
You sighed and rolled over to face the doorway, and you settled yourself up on your elbows. “Can you just…” you started. “Think before you speak? I know it doesn’t really seem to matter to you, but sometimes, words hurt. Like, really hurt.” 
“I know,” Angus mumbled. “I’m sorry.”
“You really have to work on not being a huge asshole,” you told him. “You know, nobody here likes you. They all call you names and shit.” 
“I know,” Angus said. “I don’t care. But you’ve gotta try to not be so judgmental. I think you write off everyone here because we’re from different tax brackets. Some of us don’t have it easy.” 
You pressed your lips together. “Fair enough,” you said finally. “I’ll, um… Keep that in mind.” 
“Alright,” Angus said. “Good night, then.”
“‘Night,” you said, and you watched Angus stalk out of the doorway and back to his room. You sat for a few moments more, thinking about how easily Angus had read your thoughts, and you wondered if the other boys could see right through you as easily. You were almost humiliated all over again at the thought that everyone could read you like that, but it didn’t matter. When the morning came, you’d call your mother and work out whatever the problem was, and you would be home in Boston by the next night. 
It didn’t work out that way. You called your mother twice in the morning; the first time, she didn’t pick up the phone, and the second, she would hardly talk to you. “Mom, I just wanna know what happened,” you pleaded. “Why didn’t you tell me? I-I would’ve been supportive!”
“Would you?” your mother asked. 
“Yes!” you sighed. “I wouldn’t have been happy, but I would’ve accepted it if you were happy!” 
“Then, why can’t you accept it now?” she asked. 
“Because you didn’t tell me!” you replied. “You didn’t ask me how I felt about it, if I wanted it to happen, if I even like the guy—  I hadn’t even met him once before you did it!” You paused, chewing your lip, and you said, “Mom. Tell me the truth. Are you pregnant?” 
“No, pumpkin, I’m not,” she sighed, but you could tell she was nearing her wit’s end. 
“Is that why you hurried to marry him?” you asked. “I-I’m telling you, I don’t care that you got married, I’m just upset because you didn’t tell me!” 
“Okay, stop,” your mom said firmly. “I thought you’d be happy for me, baby.” 
Anger flared in your stomach. “Dad hasn’t even been gone for a full year yet,” you mumbled. “And you’re already replacing him.” 
“We all mourn differently, pumpkin,” she said. “I’m sorry that you can’t see that Rich makes me happy. I... I don’t feel lonely with him.”
“Well,” you sighed. “If this is how you mourn Dad, I don’t think I wanna come home. I think I’ll stay at Barton.” 
“Where are you gonna go after the holiday ends?” your mom asked. 
“Staying here,” you said plainly. “I can personally go up to Central and withdraw my paperwork over break. If you want to erase me and my father from your life so bad, then you’ve got your fuckin’ wish.” You slammed the phone back on the receiver with shaking hands, and you turned to leave the front office, only to run straight into— 
“Fuck off, Angus,” you sniffled, side-stepping him and starting down the hall, back to the infirmary. 
“Wait, wait, wait,” Angus said quickly, snatching your wrist in his hand and tugging you back. “What happened? Are you going home?”
“No,” you sighed. “I’m staying here. I never wanna see any of them again.” 
“You said something about your dad…” Angus mumbled. “Is that true? Your dad’s dead?” 
You wiped at your eyes, and your chest went hot. “I don’t wanna talk about it,” you mumbled. 
Angus sighed, and, for once, he did something nice for you. He pulled you into an embrace, not too tight but not so loose that it felt like he didn’t care, and you pressed your cheek into his shoulder. “My dad’s dead too,” Angus whispered. “You don’t have to talk about it, but… I sorta get it.” 
You sniffled again, and you finally let your arms wrap around Angus’s thin body. You sat in silence for a moment, hugging each other, and you only parted when you heard a small scuttle from down the hall, near the infirmary door. Your head turned to see the youngest kid, Alex, standing, watching you two, and you stepped away from Angus and wiped your face. “Guess I’m staying,” you mumbled. 
“Guess so,” Angus echoed. 
The days were monotonous. Hunham would wake you up when the sun rose with a declaration of “It’s daylight in the swamp!”, and you would go through the routine of studying, then exercise, then more studying, then a little bit of free time. In the absence of gym class for months, the exercising was a little difficult, and you were left exhausted and panting every time, and you felt awkward with the guys around. However, after that brief moment with Angus, he had started to be… Better. He was still a dick most times, but he would do little things for you now; pass you the lunch dishes instead of sliding them in your direction, offer to sharpen your pencil during study time. It seemed that finding a similarity had broken his shell for you a bit, and you appreciated it. 
You had taken to helping the cook with meals. Mary Lamb was a good woman that you had minimally interacted with (she had come and given a lesson in Home Ec about cooking, which really nobody paid attention to, but you had made a point to), and you felt a special kinship with her because of her Curtis. She was the only one you told the truth about your father to, and you knew that Mary wouldn’t say anything to the others about it. She seemed as if she appreciated the help in the kitchen, especially from someone who was competent there like you were. You liked talking to Mary, hearing her stories and letting her hear yours. 
Just as you were starting to think that maybe break wouldn’t be all that terrible, less than a week into it, things changed. You shivered in the cold library, despite your sweater, and you tried to focus on the textbook in front of you, but it was nearly impossible. Angus was sitting next to you, and, every so often, his hand would inch out and he would doodle a little figure in the corner of your notebook. You rolled your eyes jokingly at him, trying not to laugh so Hunham wouldn’t fuss at you, and you shifted in your seat a bit to reach Angus’s notebook. You began to crudely sketch him, big dark eyes and messy hair, and he stifled a snort. Mean, he wrote underneath your sketch. 
Accurate, you countered. 
Before either of you could write anything else, there came an odd sound from outside. It was quiet at first, but it grew louder and louder, and you looked upwards, as if the ceiling of the library would allow for any sort of view of what the noise was. It was a loud chopping noise, growing ever louder and louder, drawing the attention of all of you, and even Hunham closed his book and said “What the hell is that?” 
But, from across the table, a smile grew on Jason’s face, a knowing grin, and, all at once, everybody stood from their seats and went to the window. You couldn’t see as well as the others, being shorter than everyone else, but Angus put a gentle hand on your side and pushed you in front of him, letting you get closer to the window. His hand, positioned just above your hip on your torso, made a shiver run down your spine, but you attributed it to the sight of a goddamn helicopter buzzing overhead, lowering itself onto the snowy, abandoned football field. “I knew it!” Jason exclaimed. “He finally caved, the big softie!” 
“What the fuck is that?” you asked quickly. 
“Jason’s dad owns a helicopter,” Angus explained under his breath as Jason pushed away from the window with excitement. 
“Any of you guys like to ski?” Jason called as he left the library, and the younger boys gasped with excitement. You all caught onto the idea at the same time, and the boys filed out, following Jason, but you stayed still at the window, watching the helicopter’s blades slow to a stop. 
“Miss?” Hunham asked, and you closed your eyes. “Aren’t you going with them?”
You shrugged, hoping to seem less hurt than you actually were. “I can’t,” you said. “I don’t have any skiing gear or whatever, I’ve never even done it before… And anyway, I’m not about to call my mom to ask for permission to do that.” 
You sat in the hallway outside the office as Hunham called all of the boys’ parents, being granted permission for the excursion, listening as each boy reacted with glee. It felt like a sick joke; of course you were left all alone again. Before you could ruminate on it for too long, the beanpole came and sat himself next to you, quiet as he scratched absently at his chin. 
“Want me to get you anything from up there?” Angus asked. “Fridge magnet or postcard or…?” 
You shook your head. “No,” you managed with a heavy, thick throat. “Thanks, though.” 
Angus sighed, his eyebrows furrowing together as his jaw tightened, and he tilted his head towards you. His dark eyes looked soft, kinder than you had ever seen from him or thought was capable, and he said, “Sorry.” 
You couldn’t help yourself. Your tears spilled and you clawed your fingernails into your palm, trying to stop from sobbing and heaving, and Angus moved closer to you, until his hip touched yours. He slung a skinny arm around your shoulders and pulled you into his body, his hand gently pressing into your head and ushering you to hide in his neck. He shushed you, whispering “If Hunham sees you crying, he’ll think I did it”, which did nothing other than make you laugh a little and sniffle hard. 
You quickly parted from Angus’s warmth, wiping your eyes with your hand and seeing your mascara smear on the back of your hand. “Gonna go to the bathroom…” you mumbled, and Angus nodded, keeping his seat as you stood up and hurried down the hall. The women’s bathroom next to the office was hardly used, only ever you, Ms. Crane, and the lone visitor using it, and you clutched the porcelain sink as you gasped for breath. Jesus Christ. Would anything ever go your way? Being stuck at Barton over the holidays with the other boys sucked, sure, but now you were all alone with Hunham and Mary. Alone again. You wondered if you’d always be alone. 
You ripped off a paper towel and dabbed at your eyes, trying to fix your makeup, and you pressed cold water to your face to try to calm yourself down. Fuck everything about this. It was unfair. Maybe Hunham would take it easy on you, loosen the reins a little. You trashed the paper towels and adjusted your sweater, trying to seem put-together, and you stepped out of the bathroom to see Hunham and Angus standing outside the office, embroiled in an intense conversation. “... Just one more time, please,” you heard Angus say, and Hunham put his hand up. 
“There’s no point,” Hunham said. “The front desk says they’re not answering. He says they’re away on some excursion.”
You started closer, and you watched Angus’s face fall, his eyes narrowing. He mumbled something under his breath, and Hunham harrumphed. “I’m as disappointed as you are, if not more so,” he said. “I could’ve been spending the rest of my vacation reading mystery novels.” 
“Angus?” you said, and he slid his eyes over to you. “Are you… What’s happening?” 
Angus shot Hunham a deathly look, and he side-stepped your teacher, brushing past you, his arm knocking your shoulder. You locked eyes with Hunham, then quickly turned and started off after Angus. His long legs had carried him down the hall quicker than you were capable of, and you sped up a bit. “Angus!” you called for him, and you finally came up on him at the door to the infirmary, taking his arm in your hand. “What’s going on?” 
“I’m staying here,” he said bitingly. “Mom and Stanley aren’t answering their phone.” 
On some level, you were glad Angus was staying. At least it wouldn’t be just you there. And you were glad it was Angus, as opposed to Teddy or someone else. “Oh,” you managed. “Well, umm…” 
“You don’t have to say anything,” Angus said flatly. He leaned up against the doorway to the infirmary, listening to the other boys packing up, and he added, “In fact, I’d rather you didn’t say anything.” 
You sighed, flicking your eyebrows. “Got it,” you mumbled. Your eyes lifted from the floor to see Ye-Joon, bag in hand, and he softly bid Angus a happy holidays, giving you a curt smile as he edged out of the infirmary. Jason lightly touched Angus’s arm as he told him to take care, doing the same to you before he departed, and you made eye contact with Teddy as he shouldered his bag. He didn’t have his sights set on you, though; he spoke to Angus. 
“I guess that just leaves you and the chick, huh?” Teddy asked. “Be sure to do all your homework— and no funny stuff while we’re gone.” 
If you could have swung a punch at Teddy, you would have. All the boys at Barton were the exact fucking same— Secretarial Studies, sex jokes, it was never-ending and never-changing. You watched Angus’s neck go flushed, and Teddy added, “Oh, almost forgot! I found that picture you were looking for.” Quickly, he stuck a square Polaroid in Angus’s shirt pocket, and a smile crossed Teddy’s face. “Merry Christmas, Mr. Tully. You too, Miss. See you after break.” He winked at you, making your skin crawl, and he departed the room with a chuckle as Angus snatched the picture from his pocket. From your vantage point, you couldn’t see what it was, only the back that read HAPPY HOLIDAYS, but Angus’s mouth screwed up at it, and he flicked it down onto the ground. Your eyes followed it, and you saw a portrait of a family, a mom and dad and a boy, and you recognized the dark eyes and sunken features of the boy. But, in a blank space of the picture, in Teddy’s handwriting, an arrow pointed to the boy and declared “Fuckwad”. 
The cold was biting, even through your coat, as you stood on the football field and watched the boys load into the Smith’s helicopter. Your hands were deep in your pockets as you stared into space, wondering if it could get any worse. As the helicopter took off, the wind blew your hair back, and you watched as it rose, up, up, and away. A heavy energy fell over you three, and your teacher let out a heavy sigh. “Well, let’s make the best of it,” Hunham said, flat but trying to put fake life into his words. The look in Angus’s eyes was harsh enough to kill, and Hunham averted his gaze from him over to you, his two little wards, the holdovers. “Shall we?”
627 notes · View notes
zeistequin · 3 months
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🐺. * ⋆.at the gates of the underworld.
【 TAGS 】 married wriothesley x gn! reader drabble ⋅ wrio being a clingy husband ⋅ horrendous, bile-inducing amounts of fluff
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"Are you sure you have to go?" A strong arm encircles your torso from behind as Wriothesley presses a reverent kiss to your cheekbone, savoring the feel of your skin on his lips. One kiss turns into another, and another, and another—
"Yes, honey, I'm absolutely sure," you grunt out as your palms wrap around his arm and pull in an attempt to pry him off. "Need I also remind you that the aquabus to Romaritime Harbor leaves in thirty minutes?"
Your bastard of a husband only hums and wraps his other arm around you, further enveloping you in his embrace as he buries his nose into your hair. "Does it now? You have to forgive me, sweetheart. I haven't been in the overworld for quite some time, you see."
The lift to the Opera Epiclese lands in front of the both of you with a metallic thud.
"Wriothesley—"
A low chuckle erupts from your husband's chest and reverberates against your spine. "I know, I know." His arms unwind from their hold, and you just barely hold back the urge to tuck yourself against his solid frame once more.
Before you can even take a second step into the lift, a gloved hand gently grasps at your shoulder and turns you around. Wriothesley captures your lips in a fervent, needy kiss that somehow lasts between a moment and eternity.
He cradles your head beneath his chin, planting a quick peck on your temple. "Have a safe trip, my love. Come back home to me very, very soon, okay?"
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【 A/N 】 We are back at it again with my truly deplorable title-writing skills! As ya'll can probably tell, I had exactly two thoughts for this drabble: [1] Hades and Persephone [2] Wriothesley saying his signature line. This was originally part of a longer, plot and drama-heavy fic, but you know how kimchi tastes better the more fermented it is? Well, that particular fic was fermenting in my drafts like a hotdog in lukewarm water 💀, so here we are instead with a 'lil snippet from the ending. Fortunately, tomorrow is the last day of our semester so I finally get to have time to write the fics that I'm really pumped about. As always, comments and feedback are very welcome. Thank you for reading!
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cheonsarchive · 8 months
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Sunghoon | Unspoken
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Pairing: Sunghoon x Fem!Reader
Genre: College!AU, Best Friends to Lovers!AU, Angst, Fluff, Suggestive
Featuring: the rest of ENHYPEN, LE SSERAFIM, TXT, aespa
Warnings: Cursing, suggestive content, mentions of/implied sex (no explicit smut), reader is COMPLICATED (I'm sorry lmao), mentions of death
Summary: You expected your summer break to be all relaxed and cozy, that was until your best friend decided to confess to you out of the blue. Cue a chaotic summer full of complicated feelings, denial, miscommunication and even more pining for each other than before. Bonus: Jake giving decent advice for once!
Word Count: 18k (what)
Playlist: Ruelle - War of Hearts, Nick Jonas ft. Tove Lo - Close, Lana Del Rey - Born To Die, Lostboycrow - Powers, Chase Atlantic - Meddle About, Aquilo - Losing You, Harry Styles - Falling
Author's Note: I rose from the dead to bring you a long awaited Sunghoon oneshot! I'm not too happy with it actually, but I'm a perfectionist when it comes to Sunghoon and I feel like I can't reach his standard anyway, so whatever lol. The first confession scene was inspired by Little Women (recommendation!), because it was perfect and needed to be reproduced in an ENHYPEN context. I would appreciate any kind of feedback. ❤️
If you want to be tagged in future ENHYPEN scenarios, let me know!
Masterlist
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The ring of the bell that announced the end of the lesson made you slump in your seat in relief. You never anticipated the familiar buzzing noise more than today, the last class before the summer break being over making a wave of excitement rush through your body.
This semester had been absolute hell and you couldn’t wait for the break to start to be able to live with an empty head, at least for a couple of weeks, before you had to start studying again. You managed to hand in your last paper the day before, so you could officially call it a day once your last class was over and leave campus as fast as possible. Your friend Yunjin wasn’t as lucky, though.
“I’m so jealous of you, I really need to work on my time management.” Yunjin huffs in disappointment, still having to hand in two papers before she can start her summer break. You smiled apologetically at her.
“No need to be though, you’ll go to Italy soon and have the greatest time sipping Aperol Spritz in the sun while I will rot here without you,” you pointed out.
“Don’t say that, you will probably chill at Sunghoon’s pool every day anyway. Plus, we’re gonna have the road trip coming up at the end of the break, remember? That’s gonna be so much fun!” she chimed.
Ah yes, the road trip. Your friend group has decided to go to the countryside for a few days at the end of each summer break to detox once more from the city (and university) life before the next semester starts. It was Yunjin’s idea and ever since it was planned she kept talking about it nonstop.
“We’ll see about Sunghoon’s pool. If Yeji is being annoying again, we might have to move somewhere else. Sunghoon has been complaining about how she has recently become really obsessed with this one boy at school and wants to throw a pool party to invite him,” you laughed, reminiscing the phone call you had with Sunghoon the other day where he kept complaining for an hour straight how annoying it is to have a younger sibling going through puberty. When you had told him that he was like that as well once, he firmly denied it, being his usual stubborn self.
“She’s growing so fast! I wonder how protective Sunghoon will be once she actually starts dating.” Yunjin wiggles her eyebrows at you. You let out a dry chuckle in response, imagination running wild about how whiny he would be, pretending to be cold and scary when he was actually a soft, loving brother to Yeji.
“He will be the absolute worst.” You shook your head in amusement. You knew Sunghoon like the back of your hand, so you knew that he would absolutely freak out if a boy dared to hurt his little sister. It was probably a natural response, one you wouldn’t know as you don’t have any siblings, but he was exaggerating a bit. Sometimes you wondered if he just wanted to fit into the overprotective big brother trope.
“Hello ladies! What are we talking about?” Heeseung greeted after suddenly walking next to you. You smiled back at him and could see a familiar relief in his eyes, one that was probably coating all of your faces. Next semester would be Heeseung’s last one in college, so the pressure was on.
“Just how Sunghoon is going be the worst big brother once his sister starts dating.” Yunjin shrugged and Heeseung broke out in a chuckle because he definitely agrees. You almost felt bad for shading Sunghoon like that, but you enjoyed teasing him about it.
“Do I even want to know how this topic came up? There is more than enough time to shit-talk Sunghoon later, we should be discussing how excited we are for the summer break instead!” Heeseung jumped up and down and you realized just how giddy he was because he rarely acts this hyper.
“We were! It’s not that exciting for me though, because I’m not going to travel like you two,” you defended, making both of them exchange glances and scoff in unison.
“Please, you wouldn’t survive without Sunghoon anyway. It’s not like you don’t enjoy spending every day with him during summer break.” Yunjin laughed and you glared it her.
It was true, though. Sunghoon and you were inseparable like pen and paper ever since you were in middle school. You spent the majority of time at each other’s homes, to the point where you wondered which place you should actually call your home, his or your own? But during exam season, you usually spend less time with each other because you’re too busy studying. So it has become your ritual to spend the beginning of summer break together to make up for the lost time. It was easy too because that was usually the time everyone else travelled anyway.
The fact that you never grew tired of each other really amazed everyone around you. Rumors started spreading quickly that you might be secretly dating, or at least crushing on each other. You’ve always confidently turned down such rumors, but especially Heeseung and Yunjin persisted that something was going on between you two and loved teasing you about it.
“If it’s about what I think it is, I don’t want to hear it.” You warned, seeing the suggestive look in their eyes. You grew tired of always having to defend your friendship with Sunghoon. Maybe because deep down, there was some truth to it.
Sunghoon and you fit each other like a glove. You always knew what the other one thinks without having to articulate it, you can talk about everything without feeling judged and you balance each other out with your skills and knowledge.
It already started in middle school. Sunghoon was more skilled in creative subjects whereas you were good in trickier ones like mathematics or chemistry. You started tutoring each other quickly, which helped both of you get through high school. He helped you with your art projects whereas you explained his math homework to him.
Sunghoon was there during many difficult times as well. He was there when you experienced your first heartbreak, and he comforted you when your grandpa died who you cherished so deeply. Even years later, when you confessed that you’re still struggling with his death, Sunghoon was quick to drop everything and come over to you to help you get through it.
And if that wasn’t enough, Sunghoon also grew incredibly handsome as time passed. Puberty really turned him into the best version of himself and it was no wonder many girls at university swooned over him. So really, wasn’t he perfect boyfriend material?
“No.” You turned to Yunjin with a surprised face, confusion written over your features. “You finally need to confront your feelings. Even a blind person can see that the connection you have is more than just friendship.”
You rolled your eyes. There was nothing to confront in your opinion, which made you really question why they couldn’t just drop the topic. Though you sometimes wondered if the longing gaze from Sunghoon held more than you thought.
“Yeah whatever. Call me when you’ve handed in your papers!” You announced your departure, hugging Yunjin extra tight since you probably won’t see her again before her trip overseas. You promised to keep in touch before you separated from your friends to get on the bus to Sunghoon’s house. He didn’t have classes today, so he slept in and waited at home, promising you to celebrate the beginning of summer break with fresh watermelon.
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“Lord have mercy.” You said with eyes as big as the watermelon in front of you. Sunghoon smiled cheekily, proudly presenting his purchase from the market. He posed like a model, and you slapped his arm playfully.
“That must have cost you a fortune.” You said feeling guilty, head dropping slightly. Sunghoon let out a tut at that.
“Don’t worry about it. Celebrating summer break is definitely worth it and much needed. I have to distract myself from wanting to curse at Professor Yoon.” Sunghoon exclaimed, the last part making you giggle quietly.
He expertly cut the watermelon in triangles and handed you a piece before sitting down opposite from you on the terrace. The sun had been cooking you and you wondered whether you will really survive a day at the pool. You really enjoyed spending time at Sunghoon’s house because of his big pool, but it stops being enjoyable once the temperatures hit a certain degree mark. The watermelon was not just needed as a way of celebrating, but also as a refreshment.
Once you took the first bite, you sighed in satisfaction, making Sunghoon suppress a laugh. You looked at him with a grim expression and cheeks stuffed like a squirrel.
“What?”
“Nothing, sounds like you really needed that one too. And you look cute with your mouth full.” He said, mimicking how your cheeks must have looked to him.
Yunjin and Heeseung might have classified that as flirting, but you knew Sunghoon was just bickering with you. He dropped comments like that from time to time, knowing you would always react with an annoyed expression.
“So, how is Yeji’s dating life going?” you taunted, trying to change the topic as you remembered the conversation you had with Yunjin and Heeseung earlier. Sunghoon’s smile dropped instantly and he groaned in annoyance.
“Don’t remind me. I told her to stay away from that prick but she is persistent.” He elaborated despite not wanting to have this conversation.
“You don’t even know him and call him a prick!” you laughed at your best friend being unreasonable, almost choking on your watermelon slice in the process. Sunghoon fixed you with a glare.
“I don’t have to know him to know he’s an idiot.” He defended but you could only raise a brow at him in response.
“Okay, you boy expert. You must know better.” You fake-praised but he brushed you off, taking another bite from his watermelon slice.
“I just want the best for my sister.” He said matter-of-factly, words almost unintelligible due to him chewing on his watermelon.
“I know, but you need to relax a little bit. Let her experience her first heartbreak if necessary and focus on your own miserable love life instead.” You joked, but Sunghoon grew tense upon hearing the second half of your sentence. He looked at you through his lashes, the way you acted completely unbothered by what you had just said irking him.
Once you finished eating you decided it would be too hot to stay outside, so you went to Sunghoon’s room to kill time. You plopped onto his bed while he was sorting some laundry, talking about everything and nothing. Unbeknownst to you, Sunghoon seemed stiff since earlier. You couldn’t pinpoint it, but you knew something was up with him today. It was like he was contemplating something.
For some reason, the topic of dating wouldn’t escape you today. Some time into the conversation, you drifted off to Yunjin’s boy escapades, laughing at the ridiculous stories she had told you.
You remembered Yunjin hooking up with that one guy from calculus, you guessed his name was Soobin, almost losing her virginity in a broom closet if it wasn’t for the janitor to catch them. She dropped him the moment she saw him drag another girl in said broom closet, able to imagine what was probably going on in there since she had first-hand experience. She never disclosed whether the janitor caught those two as well and you were oddly curious.
She started swiping on Tinder afterwards, meeting up with a guy whose name slipped from your memory, but you certainly remember the chaos that unfolded once she found out he was actually cheating on his girlfriend with her. For some reason, she was gravitating towards weird boys and she blamed it on them being Korean after a while.
So came Yunjin’s trip to Italy. It was honestly no surprise when she announced that she wants to start her “hot girl summer” experience with it. She started complaining about the lack of good-natured men around your campus and how she wants to try dating someone European. You started to question the intentions of her trip. Was it to relax and enjoy the Italian scenery, or was it to enjoy the Italian ‘scenery’?
“Maybe we should start our own hot girl and hot boy summer instead of being glued together all the time,” you fantasized absentmindedly, just the thought of it making you chuckle. You really weren’t the person to hit up strangers, and neither was he. Sunghoon tensed at your words, stopping in his tracks. His back was turned to you, but you could tell what you said stirred something in him. You patiently waited for his response, and he bit his lip, contemplating what to say.
“No, I don’t think that would be good.” he said quietly, but loud enough for you to hear. His breathing halted the moment you suggested getting to know other people.
“Why is that? I think you need to let go of the mysterious handsome guy image and finally get laid again.” you laughed, slightly confused by his changing demeanor.
“I don’t want to hook up with random girls.” He stated. At first, you didn’t think much of it. Sunghoon never seemed that interested in dating. He did have a short fling with a girl named Eunchae when he entered college, but it ended with a lot of tears and refusal to meet someone new. He tried to hook up here and there, but that stopped after a while too and you figured he might want to wait for a real girlfriend, not just some one-night stands with strangers.
It didn’t strike you how serious he was being about this. So, when he turned around to look at you, the atmosphere in the room shifted. His gaze held something you had never seen before. His gaze held so much, in fact, that it made you nervous. And like many times before, Sunghoon didn’t need to speak up for you to know what he meant. But unlike many times before, what he was thinking made your blood run cold.
“No.” you immediately blurted, eyes going wide in shock.
“Y/N, listen.” He rushed out once you started to get up from the bed.
“No, no. Sunghoon, please don’t.” you tried to shield from him, hoping it was all a misunderstanding. But things like misunderstandings weren’t in your code.
“Y/N it’s no use. We finally need to talk about this.”
“I think I’m going to be sick, I better go home,” you said, feeling the sudden urge to flee from the situation. You almost sprinted to the door and Sunghoon tried to block you from leaving his room, but you pushed him away in panic. As stubborn as he is, Sunghoon followed you suit, and you were glad that you two were alone at his house right now, because you wouldn’t want Yeji or his parents to overhear this conversation.
“Y/N please listen to me. I’ve started liking you a while ago already and I never said anything because I thought it wasn’t mutual. But sometimes I-… I just-… I got the feeling that we might have a chance as something more than friends. T-that you might want this too. I’ve waited so long for you to make a move and prove that I wasn’t imagining things and that you feel the same way for me. But it never happened, and I just can’t go on like this. I need you to know, okay?”
Sunghoon rambled so fast you almost couldn’t catch up with him, he blurted all that while you tried to get out of his house as quickly as possible. He kept going while you practically ran down the stairs, picking up your shoes and sliding into them. Before you turned the door knob of his front door, you turned around to look at him again. And it was a big mistake.
Sunghoon was wearing the most desperate expression you had ever witnessed. The fact that he just confessed to you made your stomach turn. You even noticed how his eyes turned glassy, was he crying? Disbelief was written over your face and all you could do was shake your head and say “No.” once more.
Something broke inside of Sunghoon when he became conscious of the fact that you were rejecting him at this moment. He mustered up the courage to tell you how he felt because everyone he had confined in told him you like him too and that he should finally tell you how he really feels. So, not only did he feel crushed by your rejection, but also by the backstab of his friends.
“Y/N I always thought we worked so well together, so I never understood why we couldn’t be more. Am I… Am I not good enough? I-is that the problem? If there is something I can change, let me know and I’ll-“
“Oh my God, Sunghoon, no. You’re literally perfect. I’m so grateful to have you by my side and I couldn’t be more thankful for all the times you comforted me and helped me to get out of trouble. You are honest and funny and- and you are committed, and I love you. But just not the way you want me to. I am sorry.” You interrupted him, feeling your eyes sting with tears, mirroring his. Sunghoon choked at your words. You realized at that moment that you haven’t seen him cry in ages. And to be the reason he was crying made you feel terrible.
“Please tell me why. I don’t understand.” He begged, sounding absolutely miserable while a tear managed to escape and run down his cheek slowly.
“I don’t know Sunghoon. I just don’t. We can’t ruin our friendship like this-”
“Who said this is ruining our friendship? Maybe we weren’t meant to be just friends in the first place!”
“Yes we were!” you snapped back at him, anger starting to bubble up inside of you, “Yes we were,” you repeated, more calmly this time, “don’t make this something it isn’t. Please.”
This was the moment you decided that you had to get out of there immediately. You couldn’t take the pressure anymore, the fact that he expected an answer from you. You were overwhelmed with the whole situation and couldn’t think straight, so your adrenaline rush decided for flight instead of fight. You quickly turned the door knob and rushed out of his home, leaving him behind.
“Y/N, wait!” was his last attempt to keep you by his side, but he was met with a door being slammed in his face instead. He stared at his front door in disbelief, trying to process what had just unfolded. How he ruined everything. Sunghoon wanted to hit himself for speaking up, he figured that he should have just stayed quiet instead. But it was eating at him how he was silently pining for you and you never reacted the way he wanted you to. It confused him how you always scoffed at him whenever he complimented you but enjoyed cuddling with him during your regular movie nights.
He always wondered if he was making everything up, if you weren’t giving him potential signs at all and he just interpreted them the wrong way. Yet, when he opened up to Jake about his crush for you Jake didn’t seem surprised and said that everyone knew you both liked each other. Emphasis on both. After some time passed, Jake reassured Sunghoon that it was no use pining like this and that he was sure you two were destined to be together. Sunghoon was still scared shitless because there was still the possibility of you rejecting him. And whatever happens, he can’t afford to lose you because of his stupid feelings.
Sunghoon can’t even remember when he started liking you. It randomly hit him one day when you were wiping some ketchup off his mouth after eating fries and his heart began to race uncontrollably. He started noticing how pretty your eyes and lips were, how well you carried yourself, how quick-witted you were and how you always seemed to be at ease when you were around him. He had an ability to calm you down that no one else had. And Sunghoon managed to mistake it for mutual interest.
Once you slammed the door in his face you stood in front of his house for a few minutes, trying to sort out your thoughts and get your feet to move. The gears in your head were turning at lightning speed and you couldn’t believe what had just happened. Wasn’t this what you always wanted?
You speculated if there was something more than friendship forming between you two from time to time. You started paying closer attention to Sunghoon’s small habits and the way he acts around you, appreciating the way he always puts your needs first and makes sure you’re always sorted first before he worries about himself. When your friends started asking about what you and Sunghoon were, you were quick to answer that you were just best friends, but you always questioned why they would ask that if you simply gave off friendship energy.
Sunghoon had everything you would look for in a partner. So why were you rejecting him? You never even calculated the possibility of him liking you back, and the sole idea of it made heat rush to your ears. For whatever reason it seemed so impossible to you that Sunghoon could hold similar feelings for you that you blatantly rejected any chance of you two getting into a relationship, pushing your feelings aside in the process. It annoyed you that your friends kept pushing you towards each other when it was clear as day to you that Sunghoon didn’t feel the same. For your own sanity, you couldn’t accept anything else.
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It's been over two weeks since Sunghoon confessed to you. And ever since then, you two didn’t talk to each other at all. It was the longest time you went without texting, calling and seeing each other. And you hated every bit of it. You missed Sunghoon like crazy, not talking to him felt like torture.
“You wouldn’t survive without Sunghoon.“
You hated how your friend was right. But you couldn’t bring yourself to text or call him, let alone appear at his house. He was probably hoping for you to reach out because he didn’t contact you either. To be fair, it was your turn after you ran away from him like that. But to put it simply, you had no clue how to address this situation.
You had spent the last couple of days rereading your text messages, smiling at all the fond memories you made and the stupid memes you constantly shared with each other. It made your heart ache for him even more and you started being angry at him for ruining a perfectly fine friendship. Things should have just stayed the way they were and the fact that everything was different now bothered you to no end.
Apart from missing Sunghoon, you also felt incredibly bored. With Yunjin and Heeseung being out of the country, your closest friends were all unavailable and all you did was lay in bed all day and reminiscence old times. You wondered how this shift in Sunghoon and your relationship would affect the whole friend group dynamic. Did you just doom more than one friendship?
Your boredom got to the point where you considered texting friends you rarely hang out with out of pure desperation. However, you didn’t manage to send out the text messages you had written and rewritten several times. You felt like you sounded too eager and decided to just continue decaying in your room, hoping that Sunghoon will find the courage to reach out to you first.
When you felt your phone vibrate next to you, you have never been so fast to check who messaged you, obviously hoping that your and Sunghoon’s telepathy had worked once again and he was the one to reach out. When you were met with a notification from Ningning, you were slightly disappointed, to say the least. Nevertheless, you opened her message.
Ningning~: Hey Y/N! I haven’t heard from you in a while so I wanted to reach out again. How is your summer break? Are you in town? I wanted to ask if you would like to join me tomorrow. There’s a party hosted by Yeonjun and I thought maybe you’d like to come too! Just let me know xx
You sighed. You really weren’t in the mood to party. But you were also dying of boredom, so should you just ignore the offer you got at being less lonely and having some fun? Maybe it can distract you from this whole Sunghoon situation. Alcohol was always a good way to drown your feelings, right? Wrong, but who cares.
You: Hey Ning, thanks for reaching out! I’d love to go! Just text me the details and I’ll be there x
You cringed. It didn’t sound like you at all. You hoped she wouldn’t notice and ask what’s wrong because you only wanted to talk to Yunjin about this at the moment. You considered calling her, but she already announced on the first day of her trip that the internet is really bad and she probably won’t be able to call or text much. Great.
To your surprise, Ningning didn’t notice your strange demeanor, texted you all the important information and before you knew it, you were standing in front of Choi Yeonjun’s apartment. You took the chance to actually style yourself for once, usually being too lazy to put in any effort to look good during the summer break. It did give you a boost of confidence, but you still weren’t sure if the party was a good idea.
And you realized it definitely wasn’t a good idea when you entered the apartment and the first thing you saw was Park Sunghoon standing at the other end of the hallway talking to a friend. As if he had a radar for you, he immediately locked eyes with you from across the hallway. You couldn’t read his expression but noticed how you stared at each other for a solid five seconds. Your skin burned under his gaze and you couldn’t hold eye contact any longer, quickly disappearing from his sight into another room. Ningning was quick to organize drinks for you and she did an amazing job at chatting you up, making you forget about your unplanned encounter with Sunghoon.
Of course, Sunghoon was at the party. What did you expect? He’s close with Yeonjun, and the fact that you couldn’t put two and two together before going to the party baffled you. But it was too late to run away now, and you decided to just try and ignore Sunghoon as much as possible. To your surprise, you really didn’t catch a glimpse of him for the rest of the evening. In fact, everything started to blur once Karina joined you and Ningning with a round of shots. Afterwards, you continued downing shots like no tomorrow and before you knew it, you were seriously drunk.
You did know your limit and you stopped once you noticed how close you were to feeling sick, but that didn’t change the fact that you developed some mobility problems. You decided to sit down in the living room, but the moment your body met the sofa you started dissociating. With no idea how much time had passed since you plopped yourself on Yeonjun’s sofa, you were only pulled out of your trance when you were met with four pairs of eyes in front of you. Your vision was blurry and when you tried your best to make out who it was, you regretted it.
“Y/N, are you okay?” Sunghoon asked, a worried expression painting his face. Ningning was next to him, she probably called him over because she didn’t know what to do. You blinked at him several times before you carefully picked your words, trying not to sound too drunk.
“Yeah, I’m great!” you yelled over the music with a smile, so loud that the people around you took notice of your state as well. Sunghoon sighed, he really wasn’t in the best state either, but he immediately sobered up a bit once Ningning asked for his help to get you home.
“Let me take you home, okay? Come on.” He reached out his hand for you and you had to focus really hard to be able to take it. Once you stood up you started swaying, noticing again just how much alcohol was in your system. Sunghoon detected your difficulty to simply stand straight as well, holding your lower arm to keep you from tipping over. He gently guided you to the door, mumbling something about how walking might be better for you to sober up.
The moment you went outside you took notice of the brisk air. It cooled down a lot and you were surprised how much it smelled like rain without actually having rained. You took a deep breath which helped you follow Sunghoon who kept a close eye on you. Whenever you were dangerously close to tripping, he would hold your arm to steady you and you quietly thanked him every time.
It was a long walk, and you didn’t exchange a word. However, it seemed to be a comfortable silence. You could feel tension between you two, but you knew that you weren’t in the right mind to discuss the depths of your relationship now. Yet, you wanted to test the water and whether there was bad blood between you two.
You decided to purposefully bump into him and when he looked at you in confusion, you just smiled playfully at him. It didn’t take him 2 seconds to reciprocate your smile and bump into you as a form of revenge. To his surprise, you still lost your balance faster than expected and almost landed face first on the ground. Sunghoon was quick to catch you and couldn’t help but chuckle.
“Oh God, sorry!” he let out a breathy laugh and you couldn’t help but laugh with him, shaking your head to signal him it’s okay.
With a more lighthearted atmosphere you continued your descent to your home. It didn’t take you long to feel the cold air biting at your skin and with goosebumps grazing your body you confessed to Sunghoon that you felt cold. Unfortunately, Sunghoon didn’t bring a jacket with him either. Because his house was closer to Yeonjun’s apartment than yours, he offered to take you in for the night. Considering the tension between you, you were caught off guard by his offer, but accepted it nevertheless.
Once you made it to his house you rushed inside quickly. Sunghoon was home alone for the week because his parents and sister went to a holiday camp Sunghoon didn’t bother to join. You instantly felt home and realized how much you missed not only being by his side but also at his house.
“Is it okay if I shower?” you said, slightly sobered up but still a bit wobbly on your legs.
“Promise me you won’t drown?” Sunghoon asked sarcastically, there was a seriousness in his glance that told you he was only half-joking. You nodded in response and rushed to the bathroom.
When you got out of the shower you felt really hot suddenly, so Sunghoon offered to sit on the balcony for a bit. You sat down right at the edge, letting your feet dangle over it. Sunghoon joined you, not sparing you a glance but rather focusing on the clear sky above you.
You didn’t speak for a while, and you questioned whether it was a comfortable silence or not. You gulped nervously before you scraped together all the courage you had left.
“I’m sorry that I stormed out of your house the other day.”
You hoped your words didn’t sound too slurred and Sunghoon would understand it as a sincere apology and when you glanced at him you noticed how he smiled slightly, still not looking at you.
“It’s okay.”
A small smile crept up on your lips as you kept your eyes on him, examining his features. You never noticed until now just how pretty his moles are, they are a perfect addition to his face. You didn’t know if it was the alcohol in your system, but you were suddenly craving to be near him.
Even though there were unspoken words between you, you decided to shuffle closer to him and lay your head on his shoulder. He jumped slightly for a second, not expecting the sudden affection, but he relaxed under you quickly, keeping his eyes on the sky. You didn’t know how much his heart was racing, but yours was uncontrollably beating out of your chest as well. You never felt this nervous around him before and you blamed it on the alcohol and the overall tension. Your heart was beating so fast because you were scared to lose him, right?
After a while, you noticed him shifting beneath you, turning his head towards you. You did the same and only noticed then just how close your faces were to each other’s. You could feel his breath on your face and figured that it would only take a few millimeters to close the distance between you two. Suddenly you were hyper aware of his every move, noticing how his eyes flickered between your own and your lips. You ended up doing the same, taking notice of the way his lips slightly parted, letting out a nervous huff.
The tension between you felt insufferable and you didn’t know where the sudden urge to kiss him came from. Sunghoon was slowly closing the distance between you two, giving you enough time to pull away. When he noticed that you weren’t going to, he finally captured his lips with yours. The kiss was slow and cautious, as if he was afraid you would still change your mind. His soft lips grazed yours and you needed more, becoming intoxicated by his scent. When your hand went up to his neck, he took that as a sign to deepen the kiss.
You don’t know how long you’ve kissed, but you only separated to gasp for air quickly before connecting your lips once again. You never felt a bliss like this before and started exploring his mouth as if you’d have to remember it because he could disappear from your grasp at any moment. Soon enough, your hands were all over each other and you figured that the balcony wasn’t comfortable, so you moved to Sunghoon’s bed to continue your makeout session.
You situated yourself on his lap and his hands wandered to your hips straight away, keeping you in place. You felt like you weren’t close enough, so you moved forwards, brushing your clothed core against his, eliciting a small gasp from him. When you noticed how a bulge was forming underneath you, you moved again, feeling Sunghoon’s hands on your hips tightening and guiding you on his crotch. The room filled with heavy breathing and before you knew it, you were dry humping him, feeling his erection grow beneath you.
Sunghoon quickly decided to attack your jaw and kiss down your neck, moving on to your shoulder while pushing the strap of your bra and top to the side to gain better access. You whimpered slightly, feeling overwhelmed by his ministrations. His hands were exploring every curve on your body and left behind a burning sensation on every part of bare skin he touched. When he reached the hem of your shirt again, he pulled away to look at you, pushing a strand of your hair out of your face.
“Do you really want to do this?” he whispered, searching for any sign of discomfort in your eyes. Your pupils were probably as blown as his, telling him all he needed to know, but he only continued once you nodded eagerly. You never expected Sunghoon to make you feel like this, and you couldn’t stop yourself no matter how hard you tried. So with your shirt gone, the rest of your clothes was soon to follow.
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The next morning, you woke up with a pounding headache, wincing slightly once you gained consciousness again. You did drink a lot, but you were still surprised how strong your hangover was. Taking notice of Sunghoon’s posters on the wall you didn’t think much, recalling how he brought you to his place because you were cold. However, when you noticed an arm around your waist, you froze. You slowly turned around to face Sunghoon, who was still dozing off next to you. Suddenly, you remembered what had happened last night. Images of you touching, exploring, feeling each other flooded your memory and your eyes almost popped out of your skull.
What did you do?! This wasn’t planned at all. You wanted to talk it out with him when the time was right and you both were sober again, not take it to the next level like this. Your breathing became uneven, and you noticed how a shiver ran down your spine.
As if on cue, Sunghoon stirred slightly, opening his eyes. When he looked at you still half-asleep, it was like he was staring at his most prized possession, and it overwhelmed you immediately.
“Good morning” he croaked out, voice still laced with sleep and a small smile playing on his lips. He closed his eyes again to stretch his body a bit, and when he finally opened his eyes fully to look at you, his expression dropped instantly. You just stared at him in shock and he felt his breath getting caught in his throat. He did not like that look at all.
“What’s wrong?” he asked, totally dreading your answer.
“What happened last night?” you asked, a question that was totally useless to ask since you already knew.
“You don’t remember?” Sunghoon questioned, noticing how his blood started running cold.
“I do, I just-“ you couldn’t find the words to express your thoughts right now. The whole situation stressed you out again, and you felt like you took advantage of Sunghoon when you both weren’t stone-cold sober.
“You didn’t enjoy it?” The moment he asked that question, you felt his touch on your skin again, the way he was holding you so carefully as if you were made out of porcelain. No matter how you twisted and turned it, you couldn’t say that you didn’t enjoy it. You did, very much in fact. But you still didn’t want it to happen, not like this.
“I- I did. It’s just… I felt like it was a mistake.” You said as you were slowly getting up, his arm that was around your side flopping down on the bed.
Hearing that sentence felt like being shot right in the chest, and Sunghoon slowly got up as well, looking at you in disbelief.
“Why would you say that?” he prompted carefully, trying to keep calm while noticing how you were collecting your jeans from the floor and squeezing yourself into them. This scene looked oddly familiar and Sunghoon started panicking.
“It shouldn’t have happened. Not like this. I’m sorry, I think I should go,” you managed to choke out, feeling like your airflow was cut off because you were so conflicted.
“Don’t do this to me. Not again.” He said, his voice becoming strict, a tone he had never used on you before.
You really didn’t want to do this to him. Not again. But something in you told you that this was a slip up, that you shouldn’t stay there, that you made a wrong decision under the influence. You didn’t know why you were so eager to get out of there, because deep down you knew this was exactly what you wanted. You craved him, now more than ever, but you manipulated yourself into thinking this wasn’t right. In your mind, you were ruining a perfectly fine friendship by hooking up with your best friend after a few shots of alcohol. You completely ignored the fact that he made the move on you again.
Ignoring his advances, you kept getting dressed, ready to leave until you were stopped by your best friend.
“Y/N, stop.” Sunghoon warned, once again using the tone you only heard him use on Yeji when she was being naughty. You gulped anxiously, turning around to face him. He stood in front of you in only his sweatpants, his milky skin glowing in the morning sun. He looked ethereal, and you hated it.
“I don’t get it. You apologized to me, craved being near me and I had the feeling you were just as into it as I was last night. And now you want to run from me again. What is going on?” he demanded an answer, and you could hear how frustrated he was. He ran a hand through his hair waiting for your response and all you could do was sigh.
“I don’t know, Sunghoon. I need time to think, okay?!” you were getting agitated because you realized you had no argument against it. Yes, you wanted this, yes you enjoyed it. And yet, you were terrified of the consequences. Of how quickly this escalated. Of how easily you managed to turn your friendship upside down.
“So I was good enough for a fuck and now you’re gonna dump me again? Is that it?” Sunghoon spat, and you were shocked at how petty he was getting. You had never witnessed him that angry before, not even with Yeji. He did rage from time to time, but never like this. And the fact that his anger was directed at you made your skin crawl.
“God, no! Don’t make conclusions like that. I just don’t want us to ruin our friendship, is it that hard to understand?!” your frustration was reflected in your raising volume, making Sunghoon flinch slightly. When you waited for Sunghoon’s reaction, you were stunned to see that he was laughing. A small chuckle escaped his lips before he clenched his jaw, looking at you with a gaze so cold it sent a shiver down your spine.
“Well, sorry to break it to you, Y/N. We already did.”
You gulped again, your shoulders that you had unconsciously raised in the heat of the argument relaxing when you smiled bitterly at him and nodded, tears blurring your vision.
“That’s too bad then.” You said in an unexpectedly calm voice before turning around and slamming the door of his room, leaving him behind just the way you did two weeks ago.
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When Yunjin rang on your doorbell, she couldn’t wait to recite her trip in every detail. Apart from the beautiful cities she visited, the boys she got to know in Italy were also something to talk about. There was so much to unpack from that trip that she announced a meeting of minimum 3 hours and told you to prepare snacks and drinks.
You were happy that Yunjin was finally back, especially after everything that happened between you and Sunghoon. There has been complete radio silence once again, since you were 100% sure he was incredibly mad at you and called your friendship quits after this. At first you were weirdly okay with the situation until it hit you a few days later that you guys had ruined your year-long friendship with some drunk sex. You were still in denial about him confessing to you and you reciprocating his feelings, instead you blamed the night you two kissed and jumped to base four right after for the end of your friendship.
The worst part for you was that you felt like you couldn’t go back. Even if you admitted that this was what you craved, even if you apologized for the ways you pushed him away even though you didn’t mean it, the way the recent events unfolded made it impossible to start a healthy relationship. Everything turned so messy so quickly that you felt like you lost control of the situation and now that you might be able to regain it, it’s too late. Sunghoon looked at you with a sense of disappointment you will never forget. It haunted you at night.
So, you were glad that Yunjin was finally back because you needed a shoulder to cry on. You missed her like crazy and you hoped she had a better summer break than you did so far to distract you from your misery. But with the way she proclaimed her return, you were sure she had a lot of funny stories to share.
What Yunjin didn’t expect when you opened your apartment door was how awful you looked. Hair disheveled, eyes glassy, the bags under your eyes looking alarmingly dark. Nevertheless, she couldn’t hide her excitement.
“Girl!” she screeched, embracing you before you could take a good look at her. The hugs she gave were always extreme, but they were especially tight when you haven’t seen each other in a while. Once she separated from you and took another look at you, she knew something was wrong.
“You look terrible, what is going on?” she questioned, fixing the strands of hair that were in the wrong place. The deep sigh you let out was more than worrying to her and you could tell she was on edge immediately.
“It’s a long story, tell me about your holiday first!” you tried to chime but the exhaustion in your voice was evident. You took the bag she brought with her out of her hand and went to the living room, settling on the sofa where she joined you.
“No, my recap can wait. What’s wrong?” she was quick to clarify. Another sigh from your side. Where to begin?
“I slept with Sunghoon.” Wow. That was the worst part to begin with. Congratulations. The way Yunjin’s mouth dropped and her eyes went wide didn’t help at all.
“WHAT???” she asked in disbelief. When she realized that you weren’t joking, she threw her arms in the air.
“Fucking finally! I told you, you two were meant to be together! How was it? Is he a good kisser? How did this even happen? Oh my God I’m so excited Y/N I need to know all the details! This is so good!!” Yunjin squealed and her excitement scared the shit out of you. How were you going to explain to her that this was nothing like she wished for?
She looked at you expectantly, but you only stared at her with an apologetic look. Her excitement died down soon and she mirrored your expression, a pout forming on her lips.
“Wait, it is not good?” It was a rhetorical question, really. If it was a good thing, you wouldn’t look this miserable and instead be glowing or something. You could tell the gears in her head were turning. Suddenly her eyes were widening again and she put her hands over her mouth in shock.
“Oh my God, are you pregnant?” This actually made you chuckle. Now she was thinking way too far.
“Don’t be ridiculous. I’m not pregnant.” You clarified, unable to hide your smile because you couldn’t believe how dramatic she was being.
“Then what is it?” she asked impatiently and you decided it might be best to start from the beginning. You recalled your last two encounters with Sunghoon, and you felt like Yunjin has never listened to you with such interest. A girl was invested.
When you finished Yunjin sighed heavily, her face dropping the more the story progressed. You had a pleading look in your eyes, begging for her advice.
“Girl, why did you make everything so complicated?” she finally asked and you were a bit appalled that she was attacking you.
“What do you mean, I did? Sunghoon started this.” You clarified, slightly offended.
“No honey, Sunghoon came clean about the feelings he’s been harboring for you for quite some time, something you’re still in denial about.” Yunjin pointed out and rightfully so. Sunghoon did what you couldn’t do: admit your feelings for him.
“But he shouldn’t have. We were totally fine and he had to make it awkward. The fact that we drunkenly slept with each other didn’t help at all.” You dropped your head in your hands. “I feel like we overstepped a line by having sex.” Yunjin was quick to shake her head.
“Y/N, you already overstepped a line when you started catching feelings for each other. I just don’t understand why you push him away like that when you like him too.” She reasoned, articulating your thoughts.
“I’m not sure if I really want this. We’ve been friends for so long, I need him by my side no matter what.” You replied, chewing on your lip nervously.
“So you’re scared that your relationship might not work out and you’ll lose him as a friend?”
“I think so. I just don’t want our friendship to be ruined over a stupid slipup. Maybe we mistake our feelings for platonic love and wouldn’t work out as a couple at all. And then we binned a totally fine friendship for no reason.” You noticed how verbalizing your worries really helped you deal with the whole situation. You debated this way too much on your own already, it was high time for another opinion.
“I get where you’re coming from. But you must view it from this perspective: You have the most important basis for a good relationship. Trust and good communication. Well, the latter until fairly recently at least. You hang out a lot and don’t get tired of each other. You can openly talk to him about everything. He’s always on your mind. There’s pretty much only the physical part missing. Which is why I need to ask if you didn’t enjoy it now that you got physically closer to him as well?”
It was like Yunjin was stating the obvious, but she helped you realize that there was not much to be afraid of. You felt safe around him and he felt safe around you and that was the most important thing. But you still were so hesitant, why?
“No, I definitely enjoyed it.” In fact, you’ve been thinking about nothing else but how soft his skin felt on yours and how pretty his lips are. And you felt like this made everything even more difficult, because there was still something keeping you from committing to him fully when there were so many indicators that you’re meant to be.
“Well then, you’re standing in your own way. I know you’re terrified that this might go wrong, but it will certainly go wrong if you don’t fix this. You both deserve to be happy. And personally, I think you’re happy if you’re together. Look what being apart from him does to you.” Yunjin pointed out, looking you up and down. You scoffed but knew she was right.
“I just don’t know how to fix it. I feel like it’s too late. He already waited too long and probably gave up on us.”
“Oh, I don’t think so. You can’t just drop someone that quickly. He’s probably struggling just as much as you.”
“You did what?!” Jake asked in shock, similar to Yunjin’s reaction.
“I confessed, and she rejected me. Twice.” Sunghoon repeated, kind of embarrassed.
“Dude, I can’t believe this. I always thought she liked you back.” Jake furrowed his brows, pondering whether he had also misinterpreted your behavior. To him, it was clear as day that you both shared a mutual romantic interest in each other but were too shy to address it. So, when Sunghoon revealed what he had done, he initially got excited.
“Yeah well, I thought so too, especially since we had sex that one night after a party and-“
“You guys had sex???”
“Jake… ugh. Yes, we did. We were both a bit drunk though.” Sunghoon reasoned but the sparkle in Jake’s eyes told him it was to no avail.
“I’m impressed, not gonna lie. You confessed and then jumped straight to base four. Did you learn from me?” Jake couldn’t help but laugh, he found that situation way too amusing for Sunghoon’s liking.
“Man, what even is base four… anyway. The point is, she said she wanted this and also admitted she enjoyed it, but she basically fled the scene the next morning and hasn’t been reaching out since. I just don’t fucking know anymore.” Sunghoon ruffled his hair in frustration and let out a deep groan. Just the thought of you leaving him behind in his room shattered his heart into a million pieces.
He just didn’t understand it. He was on cloud nine when you nodded that you wanted this too, pupils blown wide and breathing uneven. He could feel your heart pounding like crazy, similar to his own. The way you were holding him gave him all the cues he needed to claim you as his. And yet, you slipped from his embrace hours later. What could there possibly be that kept you from being with him? All the signs were there that you felt the same. Or so he thought.
“Maybe she’s scared. You’ve been friends for quite some time, I wouldn’t want to throw that away lightheartedly either just because I was horny and drunk one night.”
“But I don’t see why this wouldn’t work. We worked perfectly fine the last couple of years as friends. We literally complete each other. What more could you want?”
“It’s still commitment, Hoon. Friendships are easier to keep and end than relationships. I think Y/N wants to protect herself from possible heartbreak by keeping you in the friendzone.” Jake reasoned, and Sunghoon wondered when he became so intelligent.
“So, we’re ignoring the fact that she is breaking my heart in the process?”
“Of course not. And it’s on you how much time you give her to make a decision. Do what’s best for you. If you feel like this drains you more than you could get out of it, it’s best to cut ties. You guys overstepped the line now anyway.” Sunghoon was surprised by Jake’s reply, it felt like the wisest advice he had ever given. When he told Jake about his feelings the very first time, his friend was less helpful.
Sunghoon felt like the world was caving in on him and he finally needed to break out of his shell, finally confide in someone what has been bothering him lately. Whenever you guys planned a meeting, he was more excited than usual to see you. And when he did, he felt butterflies in his stomach whenever you laughed. When you hugged or cuddled on the couch, he noticed how he always wanted it to last longer, for him to be even closer to you. Whenever you made a stupid joke and bickered with him, he couldn’t help but laugh, enjoying every second of being with you.
He didn’t know what was happening to him. It scared him that somehow, he wanted more from you than before. More attention, more laughter, more contact. You were on his mind 24/7. He started noticing the smallest things about you. How you changed your clothing style over time. How you did your hair a little differently, playing around with various simple but pretty hairstyles. He noticed overall how good you looked.
Sunghoon paid attention to details he never cared about before. He started complimenting you more because he felt like he needed to point out that he noticed whenever you changed something about yourself or put in that extra effort to get ready. And he was the proudest when you smiled at him and thanked him for the compliment. Though, you soon stopped taking it seriously and figured it was probably just part of your bickering.
The way his feelings for you changed confused him and after a while of dealing with it himself, he finally needed another opinion. When he called Jake to ask if he could come over because he needed help, the latter was surprised, to say the least. Sunghoon rarely talked about his worries, and when he did, he talked about them with you and not Jake. So, what could it possibly be that made him choose Jake over you?
Oh yeah, well, that. Once Sunghoon laid out to Jake how he certainly noticed something shifted whenever he is with you he could only but chuckle, leaving Sunghoon with a perplexed stare.
“Nice bro, you finally noticed? You’re pretty much the last one to do so.”
“What do you mean?” Sunghoon asked, confusion written all over his face. Jake couldn’t help but giggle and shake his head at his oblivious friend.
Basically everyone had noticed how you two got a lot closer suddenly, which caused rumors to start spreading that you secretly started dating. Jake and Jay even had a bet going who asked the other out first and he couldn’t wait for Sunghoon to confess that he was in fact dating you.
Everyone had noticed. Everyone but you two.
“You got to be kidding me. You so obviously like her, it wasn’t necessarily hard to spot.” Jake pointed out, which made Sunghoon’s eyes grow big. He gulped nervously, unconsciously playing with the hem of his shirt.
“Do you think she knows too?” Sunghoon asked, his brows knit together. What if you knew and chose to ignore it? Talking to Jake made Sunghoon realize that the shift in his behavior around you correlated with a shift in his feelings for you. He liked you. And he knew he was screwed before Jake could answer.
“Nah dude. She probably is just as oblivious as you.” Jake clicked his tongue nonchalantly. That somehow made Sunghoon release a breath of relief.
“What do you reckon I should do?” Sunghoon questioned. He couldn’t believe he was asking Jake, a retired but previously notorious player, for dating advice. Only Chaewon was able to get him interested in the actual dating life, but he proved miserable at that. Chaewon could handle it, fortunately, but Jake wasn’t the best person to talk about feelings. He didn’t do those until fairly recently.
“I don’t know, just wait and see what happens.” Yeah, Jake was really useless in that field.
“You’re not helping.” Sunghoon rolled his eyes in annoyance, making Jake raise his hands in defense.
“Bro, what do you want me to say? Confess and run into a disaster because chances are she doesn’t like you back? I personally think it’s mutual by the way she behaves, but who am I to judge.” He reasoned and Sunghoon nodded understandingly.
He had no choice but to observe your behavior from now on to find any clue whether you like him too. Jake was absolute garbage at giving advice, but Sunghoon decided to cut him some slack this time since it actually seemed the right thing to do. Damn, what has Chaewon done to him?
Sunghoon answered the same back then as he did now.
“Yeah, I guess you’re right.”
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16 new messages in squaaaaad
Chaewonie ❤️: Guys, we haven’t had a cinema night in ages and they switched up the screening offer at our trusted cinema! How about dinner together with a cinema night as a squad now that we’ve all returned?
Hee Hee (seung): only if you promise not to make out with Jake three minutes into the movie
Ikeu: rude???
Ikeu: anyway, I’m in!
Meme Queen 😎: of course you are.
Ikeu: what’s with the disrespect today
Jjongsaeng: count me in too! dinner at our usual ahjumma? <3
Chaewonie ❤️: Obviously, I’ve been craving her Jjamppong the last few days!
DDEONU: I’m in too! so dinner’s on chaewon then?
Chaewonie ❤️: Dream about it Sunoo
Zuhaaa: count me in too
DDEONU: just checked the screenings, let’s go watch the new barbie movie!!
Hee Hee (seung): I changed my mind I won’t go
DDEONU: 😒
Meme Queen 😎: I’m in too by the way and I’m not a whiny little bitch like Heeseung so Barbie is fine
Hee Hee (seung) left the group chat
Meme Queen 😎: exactly what I’m talking ‘bout
You couldn’t help but chuckle at your stupid friends. Yunjin, who had her head in your lap, was similarly laughing at the text messages, especially when she added Heeseung back to the group chat and he started whining even more.
“Aren’t you going to write anything?” Yunjin prompted without looking at you.
“I don’t know if I’m going.” You admitted shyly, biting your lip. That made Yunjin turn her head to look at you with a raised eyebrow.
“Girl, don’t even think about cancelling.” She warned. You exhaled, throwing your phone away and running both hands over your face.
“Look, I just don’t want to make it awkward if Sunghoon is there.” You tried to explain, but Yunjin wasn’t buying it at all.
“Nah babe, we’re not doing that. Don’t destroy our friendship group because of something like that. Plus, it could be an opportunity to talk things out with Sunghoon.”
“If he joins.” You said absentmindedly. Yunjin clicked her tongue.
“And if he doesn’t then that’s on him and we’re going to have fun without him. But don’t ruin fun for yourself because he might be there. I know you want to go.” Ugh, you hated that Yunjin was (almost) always right.
“Fine.” You groaned.
Meme Queen 😎: I’m dragging Y/N along too
You cringed at the way Yunjin put it, but she wasn’t completely wrong. You weren’t too excited to go, because you had a bad feeling this could turn ugly if Sunghoon was to show up as well. Yes, it was a squad meeting, but you still had no idea how to act around him, let alone how he would act around you. Additionally, not everyone knew what went down. Yunjin had briefly updated Heeseung without too many details and you guessed Sunghoon might have told Jake, but other than that, no one was aware of the recent events. How awkward would that get?
Quite awkward. Sunghoon had announced that he would be coming as well, and since Yunjin already told everyone that you would be there too you had no way to back out of it. You persisted that you would show up together with Heeseung, too afraid that you might be the first to arrive and Sunghoon being second or the other way around.
To your surprise, Sunghoon was one of the last to arrive, very unlike him since he was always over-punctual. When you exchanged glances, a shiver ran down your spine. You tried to decipher his look but couldn’t, it held an emotion you had never seen before. You couldn’t hold his gaze either, quickly looking at Jake to greet him.
When Kazuha arrived at last, you went inside the restaurant to finally grab a bite. You only noticed then that you were starving, instantly plopping down on the first spot you saw. Yunjin sat down to your left and Jay aimed at joining you on your right, only to retreat while mumbling something about how Sunghoon is going to sit there anyway. It wasn’t intentional, Sunghoon and you always claimed to sit next to each other and sent grim looks to everyone who tried to get in your way. But this time was different.
Sunghoon and you exchanged shaky glances, still that undecipherable look in his eyes and with a small gulp, he situates himself on the other side of the table instead of next to you. This move earned confused glances from half the group, and you simply nodded with a sad expression coating your face. So that’s what we’re doing now, you thought. Great.
Thankfully, no one commented Sunghoon’s odd move and everyone sat down instead, Jay reclaiming the spot next to you. You could feel the tension at the table, something was in the air and everyone noticed. But no one dared to speak up. Those who knew just exchanged worried glances and those who didn’t simply looked confused. There was an unusual silence at the table before Chaewon finally managed to break the silence by asking what everyone wants to eat.
You released a breath you didn’t know you were holding and the whole situation drained you from the get-go. How were you going to survive the rest of the evening after such a bumpy start? You tried not to stare at Sunghoon too much and whenever you caught a glimpse of him looking at you, you panicked and looked away instantly. Sunghoon wasn’t any better, acting quite absentminded until Jake bumped him under the table. With a demanding glance Sunghoon knew immediately what he was trying to tell him. Jake, similar to Yunjin, made it clear that no fun was cut from the evening just because of your miserable situation. Sunghoon tried his best to join the conversation, but everyone could tell that something was weird.
After a rather awkward meal you made your way to the cinema, Yunjin linking arms with you as you tried to calm your nerves. This wasn’t going to be easy. The fact that everyone noticed the tension between you and Sunghoon made you incredibly nervous and you figured that you had to talk about it sooner or later tonight.
When you reached the cinema and the mood was still off, your body acted faster than your mind. Without hesitation, you grabbed Sunghoon’s arm, who looked at you quite alarmed. With a gaze that conveyed “Can we talk?” Sunghoon quickly nodded and followed you behind the cinema. Yunjin and Jake quickly exchanged knowing yet uneasy glances when they saw you disappear behind the building.
Once you reached the backside of the cinema, you stopped in your tracks. Not noticing how you still held onto Sunghoon’s arm, only his verbal reminder brought you back to reality.
“You can let go now.” It scared you how cold he sounded. You didn’t know if it was the unusually chilly night or if his voice really lacked the warmth you were so used to. You realized that you had to face him sooner or later, back still turned to him. You knew that turning around and looking at him will most likely break you and you were right.
When you made eye contact, you kept seeing a look in his eyes that you couldn’t decode. You usually could guess his opinion on things or his overall mood by how he looked at you or others, but this was different. This was a look he had never worn before, and it scared you.
And you made another dreadful realization. Shit. You hadn’t prepared this conversation at all. You had brought him here and were now at a loss of words. He looked at you expectantly, obviously waiting for you to talk first since you were the one who dragged him there in the first place. Your brain was short-circuiting, so you blurted the first thing to pop up in your mind.
“Hi.” Mentally facepalming yourself, you closed your eyes and shook your head. Sunghoon didn’t react to that at all either, waiting for you to actually articulate what you want to tell him.
“Look, we need to talk.” Is all you could choke out in nervousness, your voice betraying you by breaking in the middle of the sentence.
“We do?” Sunghoon’s question caught you off-guard and you looked at him generally confused.
“Yes, don’t you think so?” you prompted in disbelief. Sunghoon shrugged.
“Oh I did, but you don’t strike me as the person who wants to talk about this anymore after last time.” He admitted and you cringed at his words. You realized at that moment that you did know that tone of his. He used that exact tone when breaking up with Eunchae, a conversation you overheard as he wanted you nearby when it happened. It’s the voice he uses when he’s built a barrier to protect himself.
He's built a barrier. The fact that he felt like he needs to protect himself from you emotionally ripped your heart out, but then again you couldn’t blame him. Everything you did made this a justifiable response. And you were to make it worse.
“Sunghoon.” You called out to him weakly and his gaze softened for a split second upon hearing you call his name in such desperation. “I didn’t want this to happen. Not like this, believe me,” you said while taking a step towards him.
He didn’t back off, and you took that as a sign to continue.
“I never wanted to lose you as a friend, the thought of it makes me sick, and I panicked when you suddenly confessed. I didn’t know how to act so I chose to run away.” You tried to explain your point of view and he patiently waited for you to continue, as if he waited for a specific sentence.
Tell him it was a mistake to run from him. Tell him you like him too. Tell him you want this too. For some reason, you just couldn’t articulate those feelings. For some sick, twisted reason, you still weren’t sure if this is what you really felt. You still didn’t come clear about your emotions, about whether your feelings for him are platonically or romantically coded. You felt like you still needed to find out.
With one more step forward, you closed the gap between Sunghoon and yourself. Without thinking this through you took his face into your hands, connecting your lips in a swift motion. Sunghoon seemed slightly taken aback by your action but responded to the kiss nevertheless, his arms immediately wandering to your waist. However, he was quick to break the kiss, tightening his grip on your waist to put some distance between you.
“What are you doing?” he questioned in a serious, slightly disappointed tone, his brows furrowed. You looked at him with big eyes.
“I’m trying to make things right.” You said weakly, feeling extremely small under his strong gaze.
“No, you’re testing the waters.” He said and gave your hips a small push to create more distance between you. Your arms fell to your side lifelessly, tears threatening to escape.
“No.” you tried to defend but Sunghoon was able to shut you down quickly.
“Yes, Y/N. I can tell you’re still not sure about this. So stop bullshitting me.” He said it calmly but it felt like he spat those words in your face.
“I don’t-“ you tried again but he interrupted straight away.
“Listen to me. If you can’t come clean about how you feel for me then that’s on you. But stop playing with my feelings in the process. For the sake of our year-long friendship, I think we should have at least that much respect for each other.”
You were absolutely speechless. The way he delivered those words to you, you felt like he wasn’t feeling any emotion at all. It scared you that Sunghoon, who was usually very vocal and expressive, could articulate something so dryly. Only then did you realized just how much you have fucked up.
You have hurt Sunghoon so much with your indecisiveness that he completely shut you out. Backed off emotionally from you. For him to say those things so easily, it made your heart ache. You opened your mouth to speak, to protest, but there was nothing to protest about.
He was right, you played with his heart. He was nothing but honest with you and you rejected him not once, but twice. And now you thought a weak excuse and a kiss could fix it? Oh, how naïve you were.
Sunghoon saw you open your mouth to speak but he quickly shook his head.
“This conversation is over.” He announced, turning on his heels and walking away to the rest of your friends. This time, he left you behind and you started to understand how shitty it must have felt when you did it to him.
You stood there motionlessly, unable to move while trying to process what just happened. You were sure you deserved it for how you acted previously but you still didn’t know how to handle this situation. You tried your best to keep your tears in and collect yourself so you can get back to the group, but tears kept rolling down your cheeks and you sobbed quietly, hoping not to catch the attention of your friends.
In the meantime, Sunghoon made it back to the group alone, earning confused glances from the rest of your friends.
“Where’s Y/N?” Sunoo asked, brows furrowed because something was definitely off but he didn’t want to insist.
“Oh, she’s coming soon. Don’t worry.” Sunghoon said nonchalantly, but Yunjin and Heeseung exchanged concerned glances. Yunjin debated checking on you, sensing that whatever went down behind the cinema didn’t end well. She examined Sunghoon’s look, and he gazed back at her, as if challenging her. What is wrong with him? He never acted like this before.
Deep down, Sunghoon was sweating. He tried his best to act normal, to not let it get to him how absolutely gutted he left you there. But he couldn’t help himself. All the pain he experienced the last couple of days made him become petty. With Jake telling him to be careful not to hurt himself too much while waiting for you he decided it might be best to push his feelings to the back of his head.
The full ordeal was swallowing him whole. He wanted nothing but to hold you, talk to you, be with you, hear your beautiful voice through the phone, see your little frown whenever you complained about something. He missed you like crazy but he didn’t push any further after being rejected twice already.
On the one hand, Sunghoon believed he did everything right. He couldn’t go on pretending you were just friends when he has been falling for you harder the more time passed. Being honest to himself and to you was what you had unofficially promised each other and he wanted to keep that promise no matter what.
On the other hand, Sunghoon believed he did everything wrong. He caused this trouble by being selfish and pushing you towards a relationship you might not even want. You worked out fine, and one should never change a running system, right?
Wrong. He knew your friendship was doomed the first time he caught his heart skipping a beat upon seeing you, the first time he imagined what your lips would feel like on his own, the first time he hugged you for a second longer than usual because he didn’t want to let go just yet. But he hoped it wouldn’t end the way it did just now. He was pretty certain that this was it.
Even if you decided you felt the same, you probably wouldn’t come back to him after he delivered such a terrible line in the coldest tone he had ever used on anybody. He was scared of himself that he managed to treat you like this. That the harshest words he had ever spoken were directed to you
A few minutes later, you mustered up the courage to join the rest, having successfully dried your tears and calmed down enough for others to see you. When you turned the corner, you heard Sunoo scream for you in excitement, making Yunjin’s head snap towards you.
“Y/N! There you are, finally. Come on guys, let’s go or we’ll miss the first few minutes!”
You were quick to shoot him a smile, trying your best to hide the fact you just finished crying and had to control yourself not to burst out in tears again. Yunjin was immediately able to uncover your mask and shot Sunghoon another look, trying to piece together what might have happened back there.
“Are you okay?” she asked quietly enough for only you to hear, and you were fast to brush her off by nodding, but she didn’t buy it. You shot her a look that she shouldn’t persist and she got the memo, following you inside without prompting another question.
When Sunoo finished buying all the tickets and wanted to hand them out in seat order, he hesitated for a moment, not knowing whether he should put Sunghoon and you next to each other after he already refused to sit next to you during dinner. Noticing the stiff air between you (which really wasn’t hard to do), he decided against it and instead sat you next to Kazuha and Heeseung.
By now, no one in your friend group was unaware of the fact that Sunghoon and you were fighting, but no one dared to ask and interfere. Nevertheless, every time someone looked at you, they shot you apologetic glances and you swore you needed to get out of there. You really weren’t in the mood to watch a movie now, especially not a bubbly one like Barbie.
When you plopped down in your seat, you didn’t even bother shooting Sunghoon a glance as he passed you to sit further down the row. Heeseung sat next to you, whispering something about that you can leave if you feel uncomfortable, but you just ignored him. At the moment, your mind was blank and you just wanted the evening to end. You prayed to the gods that the movie will make you forget at least for a short while how heartbroken you are.
It seemed to work for the first half, however as the movie progressed you noticed how you replayed the conversation between Sunghoon and you in your mind endlessly. You couldn’t help but let one tear after another roll down your cheek, trying your best not to gain attention by sobbing. You sniffed as silently as you could but Heeseung noticed nevertheless.
And so did Sunghoon. When he looked over to you and saw you crying, he felt a sting in his heart. He really tried not to cry alongside with you, but the view he had of you not being able to control your tears ruined him. He tried hard to focus on the movie, noticing how Jake was studying his behavior next to him. Sunghoon chose to ignore it for his own sake. Just like you, he wanted to go home as quickly as possible.
Once the credits started rolling, you practically jolted from your seat to get out of the situation you were in. Of course the rest of your friend group took an eternity to get up, collect their stuff and leave the cinema. As soon as the warm summer air hit your nose, you turned around to everyone, announcing that you didn’t feel well and will leave early. Without bothering to wait for a response you turned on your heels, practically running away from the group, leaving a worried Yunjin and Heeseung behind.
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“Are you sure we shouldn’t just postpone the road trip until you figure things out?” Yunjin asked warily, wanting to make sure you really meant what you just told her.
“No way. Y’all waited so long for this! It’s our ritual as well. Please go, I just won’t join.” You clarified. You figured that after the cinema disaster, Sunghoon and you shouldn’t be in the same room for a while, not only for your own sakes, but also because it made the whole atmosphere awkward.
It was never your intention to affect your whole friend group with your problems, but here you were. You decided it was best for everyone if you were left out. You couldn’t see it since you were on the phone, but Yunjin shook her head firmly.
“And it’s also a ritual that we all go together. All of us. You included.”
“I get it, but I just don’t know how to act around Sunghoon and how he’ll act around me. I don’t want to ruin the trip for everyone.”
“Trust me, you will ruin it if you don’t come. Remember when Heeseung and Kazuha had a quick fling? The friend group didn’t break because of that either. Just act normal around him and you’ll be fine. You’re adults after all. I know you were so excited for the road trip, please don’t let that ruin the fun.” Yunjin tried to argue.
She felt slightly bad because it sounded like she was forcing you, but she knew that the squad road trip was your favorite part of the summer break. She was certain that this might be therapeutic for both you and Sunghoon. No way in hell would she let it happen that one of you left the friend group. She saw it as an opportunity to at least act civil around each other when in group settings.
“I know, I’m just scared to face him. What if I break out crying?” you played the worst scenarios in your head on how everyone would be annoyed by your whiny heartbroken ass.
“Then everyone will understand. The situation isn’t easy. And it’s okay to cry.” Yunjin reasoned. After the cinema night, everyone asked each other what happened between Sunghoon and you and the story spread like wildfire. When the first pitiful message from Chaewon arrived, you knew you were done for. You felt terrible for worrying everyone and you were afraid people were going to pick sides. To your relief, no one mentioned anything and left it to you two to solve the issue.
Yunjin noticed your hesitation and she could practically hear the way you wear nervously chewing your lip, so she sighed.
“Alright, listen. If you really don’t want to go, then don’t. We’ll understand. But I personally think it wouldn’t change anything if you stayed away. Unless you want to drown in your sorrows and don’t want me there to catch your tears. If you regret your decision it’s not my fault, just saying!”
You chuckled at her words. She was right, if you stayed home you would probably miss all of them and regret missing out on the fun. You promised yourself that you would try your best to act as normally as possible around Sunghoon. Still, the fact that you had to see him again scared you shitless.
Reflecting over the past few days made you come to the conclusion that you were incredibly stupid to deny him like that. You were angry at yourself that you couldn’t just admit that you liked him as much as he liked you. And even when you had another chance at making things right, you were still insecure whether it would be the right decision.
And now that you’re clear about your intentions, it was too late. Sunghoon ended the last conversation and you felt like it was final. There was no fixing now and no going back. So, you had to live with the fact that you ruined a potential relationship with your best friend who you had caught feelings for months ago. And no matter how you put it, it was a hard pill to swallow.
Little did you know that Sunghoon also regretted his decision. He came to realize that he might have been too harsh to you, that he reacted out of emotion and not reason. Sunghoon had never felt this strongly for anyone and it scared him, so he naturally thought he had to protect himself from potential heartbreak just like you tried prior. Guess you two were more similar than expected.
The more he thought about it, the more he understood where you were coming from. It was incredibly unfair how you treated him, but he started relating to it as he was going through a similar process now. Both of you made mistakes and both of you could have done better. What mattered now is how to fix it. And to say Sunghoon was terrified about his next steps was an understatement.
A couple of days later, you were all set and ready to go on the long-awaited road trip. You went over some requests with Yunjin, for example that you’d rather drive in a different car than Sunghoon so you won’t be stuck with him in a close space for hours. If you were in different cars, it would most likely be more comfortable for everyone involved, and Yunjin agreed.
You managed to squeeze yourself in the same car as Jay, who was driving, Heeseung, Kazuha and Chaewon. You were glad that you managed to get in Jay’s car because you believed him to be a better driver than Jake. Plus, Heeseung’s road trip playlist almost hit different, so you were in for a fun (and loud) ride.
Four hours passed by in a flash and you only realized that you arrived when Jay turned into the parking lot. Fortunately, the atmosphere in the car was lighthearted and you thanked yourself for making the decision to put yourself and Sunghoon in separate cars.
You also told Yunjin that you weren’t going to sleep in the same cabin as well, since that’s awkward. She respected that, assigning the cabins by gender anyway which earned groans from Chaewon and Jake who wanted to share one.
“You’re kidding right? The cabin is meant for 3 to 4 people, ain’t no way you’re going to do any nasty shit in there.” Yunjin scolded, earning a chuckle from the rest of the group.
“We were just going to cuddle, calm down.” Chaewon defended with a glare and Yunjin scoffed.
“Yeah sure, like last year?” Yunjin laughed and both Chaewon and Jake turned red, exchanging guilty looks. You couldn’t help but snort, catching everyone’s attention including Sunghoon’s. It was the first time you exchanged glances that day and you instantly felt goosebumps rise up your skin.
Was he always that handsome? You had a feeling Sunghoon looked even better than usual, or you were imagining things because you had been idolizing him the past couple of days. The more you contemplated your friendship, the more you realized how perfect he was. Seeing him now just confirmed your theories. You had been absolutely blind the last couple of months.
You gulped and quickly looked away, unable to catch the small smile that was playing on Sunghoon’s lips. He loved seeing you have fun and hearing you chuckle made his heart swell. Sunghoon realized he’s been so stupidly in love with you that there was no way he wasn’t trying to fix whatever you had ruined. He just didn’t know how he was to do that.
Once you dropped your stuff inside the cabin, half of your group went straight to the beach. Yunjin caught up with you and bumped your shoulder playfully, making you laugh. Even though you still felt down because of the whole situation with your best friend, you were really excited and relieved that you decided to go on the road trip. The beach and the scent of salt water instantly gave you serotonin and the karaoke session you had in the car raised your mood as well.
“How was the car ride? Ours was pretty boring, everyone slept half of the time and I don’t think Sunghoon has said a single thing the entire ride.” Yunjin recited and hearing his name made your heart skip a beat. As if on cue, Sunghoon was running past you to catch up with Jake, sparing you a quick glance. You didn’t know how to react, so you simply turned to Yunjin furrowing your brows in question.
Sunghoon always claimed himself to be an introvert, but you knew that especially in your friend group, he was glowing and more talkative than ever. The fact that he was quiet, even today, worried you. Yunjin could tell by the way you bit your lip that you were contemplating something.
“Will you try and talk to him?”
“I don’t know yet.”
Your attention quickly shifted towards Heeseung who was picking up Chaewon like it was nothing, running with her to the sea and throwing her into the water despite her obvious protests. She screeched in panic and when she got out of the water, she scowled at him.
“Oh, you wanna get fucked up.” She announced, fixing him with a challenging look and you could see Heeseung’s eyes turning wide before she lounges herself at him. He was quick to dodge her attack, running away as fast as he can despite the water inevitably slowing him down. When he locked eyes with you, it was like he locked in a new target.
The glint in Heeseung’s eyes scared you and the moment he approached you, you felt your heart sink into your stomach. Before you could object he was next to you, grabbing you by the hip and throwing you over his shoulder.
“You’re next.” He giggled and ignored the way you slapped his back and screamed for him to let you go. Unable to prepare yourself in time, you were suddenly being met with the cold ocean water engulfing your body. When you broke through the surface, you couldn’t help but burst out in laughter, a sound Sunghoon missed so dearly that when he took notice, his heart fluttered.
Even more laughter erupted from you when Chaewon kept her promise and surprised Heeseung from behind, pushing him underwater as well. The antics continued until you rescued yourself to the shore, Yunjin promptly throwing a towel your way. Jake was quick to catch Sunghoon’s longing gaze for you but decided not to blurt a stupid comment, instead smiling at the pining of his friend.
Once you settled down on the beach you stripped out of the shirt that you initially planned to keep dry, but Heeseung destroyed those plans. While wringing out the access water from the shirt, you observed how Sunghoon and Jake stripped out of their shirts as well, ready to join your other friends in the water. Upon seeing Sunghoon’s toned abdomen, you were instantly reminded of the night you shared together. It made your stomach twist knowing you could have had all this to yourself and let it slip from your grasp.
“Okay, now you’re just blatantly staring.” Yunjin commented with a click of her tongue and a chuckle, following your gaze. You were glad that the temperatures made your face blush already so Yunjin couldn’t detect the heat climbing up your cheeks.
When Jake noticed your fixated gaze on Sunghoon, he quickly whispered something to the latter, making him turn around in an instant to lock eyes with you. Your eyes widened immediately and you tried to be nonchalant about it, looking away quickly. Both guys smirked at that, making Jake lean into Sunghoon once more.
“What is that? You guys are acting like two teenagers going through puberty who are obviously crushing on each other but too shy to strike up conversation.” He pointed out and Sunghoon let out a deep, long sigh. If only it was that easy, he thought.
After you tired yourselves out in the water, you decided for a cliché bonfire to end the night. Sunghoon plopped himself down at the other end of the bonfire opposite from you, the flames almost swallowing your view on him. You didn’t know if he did that on purpose, but you couldn’t help and steal glances from each other whenever you were roasting marshmallows. This didn’t go unnoticed by anyone and Sunoo ended up judging you hard for constantly shooting heart eyes at each other from afar.
You actually hadn’t talked all day, it was silent pining from both sides and it made your friends go absolutely crazy. Could you finally get it over with?
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Unfortunately, the pining continued the next couple of days, neither of you ready to approach the other. It was frustrating you, to say the least. You figured that it was his turn to come to you after he ended the conversation the last time. Additionally, you didn’t want to embarrass yourself again like you did at the cinema.
You couldn’t pinpoint the atmosphere between you two, it seemed somewhat stiff yet not as terrible as it was during the cinema night. Anyone could tell that you both reflected on your behaviors and had a different mindset from before, so it was just as frustrating for your friends to notice your constant pining. Sunoo judged even harder than usual.
Yunjin tried to talk some sense into you, but you swiftly refused to make the first step. She ruffled her hair in frustration while washing her face to get ready for bed.
“Y/N please. Put your pride aside for once, this isn’t going anywhere.” She nagged in a way that reminded you of a typical Korean ahjumma.
“Y/N I have to agree with Yunjin for once. This is absolutely nerve-wrecking for all sides.” Chaewon added, turning around in her chair and interrupting her skincare routine.
You groaned. Couldn’t they let you deal with that alone? The situation was hard enough as is, it didn’t help that eight people kept track of your every move on top of it.
In the cabin next to yours, the boys were similarly pushy towards Sunghoon, earning annoyed glances from him. Like you, it annoyed him how everyone was observing and waiting for one of you to make a move. He wanted to figure this out with you alone, not while a whole group of people was watching.
That night, the constant nagging from your friends made you spiral into overthinking everything again. You dissected your conversations with Sunghoon once more, not able to get a wink of sleep or even feel tired. The whole ordeal stressed you out to the point where you needed to let go a bit. Not wanting to bother your cabinmates, you snuck outside, making your way to the pier to sit down and watch the moon a bit. The warm breeze that tickled your nose made you inhale deeply.
Such a beautiful vacation that is troubled by Sunghoon and my relationship, you thought. You really made it difficult for yourselves. This could have been so easy and yet you chose to do it the hard way. You still wondered why your head blocked you from telling Sunghoon what your heart wanted all this time. Why it took you so long to let those feelings take over. Why it was met with so much denial from your end in the first place.
You were now more sure than ever that you wanted to have Sunghoon by your side. The thought of having to continue life without him scared you to bits and you hoped you would never have to experience the reality of it, even though there was still a possibility he wouldn’t let you in anymore.
The more you thought about it, the more overwhelmed you became. A single tear ran down your cheek, quickly followed by another until you were silently sobbing into nothingness, the vision of the moon in front of you becoming blurry.
The sound of footsteps approaching snapped you out of your daze and you quickly wiped your tears, thinking it was one of the lifeguards scolding you for being on the pier so late. You were about to utter a half-assed apology when you turned around only to be met with Sunghoon standing a few feet away from you on the pier.
Sunghoon couldn’t doze off either, staring at the ceiling when he picked up a shuffling sound outside. He silently got up, making sure not to wake the others, and went over to the window only to see you emerge on a journey to the pier. He didn’t know what came over him, but his feet moved on their own and before he knew it, he was at the pier too.
It felt like everything froze for a moment when you locked eyes, a concern shading his gaze that made you shiver. You didn’t know what to say, your heartbeat picking up from his mere presence. You never noticed the effect he had on you until this trip.
“I’ve never liked to see you cry.” He said softly, almost as if he was pitying you, but you knew how he meant it. You sniffed in response, turning around since you suddenly felt hyperaware about how ugly you must have looked right at that moment.
The wood creaked underneath Sunghoon when he approached you, slow and cautious as if he was afraid you would freak out otherwise. When he stood right behind you, he contemplated his next move, biting his lip nervously. Just like you, he hadn’t thought this through. Suddenly standing in front of you overwhelmed him, and he needed a moment to calculate his next move.
“May I?” he suddenly asked, pointing at the spot next to you. You didn’t dare look at him now that he was so close, so you simply nodded. From the corner of your eye you could make out how he was sitting down. Scared to make eye contact you focused intently on the clouds forming above you.
Silence engulfed you and the only sound you could make out is that of the waves crashing at the poles of the pier. You didn’t know how to strike conversation and he seemed similarly in thought of how to carry on. Suddenly you wondered if he wasn’t saying much because he was still mad at you, and the thought alone made you anxious. You sighed heavily, being overly curious all of a sudden.
“Will you ever not be mad at me anymore?” you spoke up carefully, afraid that this question alone will make him snap. He turned out to be very calm, though. You didn’t know if that soothed your nerves or freaked you out even more. Sunghoon had the faintest of smiles playing on his lips.
“I’m not mad at you. I was disappointed and confused because I couldn’t figure you out.” He explained, making you scoff.
“I couldn’t even figure myself out, how were you supposed to?” you turned to him with curved eyebrows, and it was the first time on the trip that you saw him this close. The look in his eyes held something you couldn’t quite pin down again, but this time, it was much softer. It calmed you down, sending an exciting shiver down your spine.
His smile grew upon your rhetorical question and you swore he never looked better. You loved seeing him smile, seeing those dimples forming. You couldn’t help but mirror his expression, silently exchanging words you didn’t dare to speak out loud. You noticed how this situation calmed you down and made you incredibly nervous at the same time. You didn’t know where this was going.
Your smile dropped suddenly, and so did Sunghoon’s. He furrowed his brows softly, and you wished to flatten the crease forming between his eyebrows. Anxiety glossed over your eyes and you decided to be honest with him.
“I’m scared, Sunghoon.” He nodded understandingly and it looked like relief washed over him. For a moment he got terrified, thinking that you might turn him down once more. It wouldn’t make sense, but nothing made sense to him anymore anyway.
“I’m scared too.” He admitted, looking down at this hands that he was fidgeting agitatedly. You couldn’t describe it, but he looked tense and relaxed at the same time. Tensed because he was fearing ultimate rejection, relaxed because no matter what, your presence eased his mind.
Your mind suddenly threw you back to everything you two had been through. Several tragic exam seasons, friends of yours moving away, petty fights in the group chat over something completely stupid and reconciliations joined by tears and hugs, heartbreaks on both ends and comfort when each other’s grandparents died. You had survived so many tragedies together, so there was logically speaking no way you could not overcome this one.
Realization hit you that it was now or never. You had to tell him how you feel, honestly this time. No hiding, no beating around the bush. You forced yourself to say the words you were scared of for so long.
“I like you.”
It took Sunghoon’s head only a millisecond to snap towards you, as if he had to make sure what he heard was really what you had said. You locked eyes again and the way his gaze changed almost made your heart jump through your chest. He looked like he had finally heard the words he wanted to hear from you for such a long time. The only thing he ever wanted to hear from you.
Sunghoon was malfunctioning because now that you had finally confessed to him, he didn’t know what to do. As stupid as it sounds, because he had more than enough time, he didn’t prepare for this scenario. Not even in his daydreams did he play this scene out in his head. He had always skipped the awkward confession and jumped right into the domestic relationship stuff.
Sunghoon gulped and took a deep breath to calm his nerves. There was only one right answer, and he knew it.
“I like you too.”  
The sparkle in your eyes didn’t go unnoticed by Sunghoon when he uttered those words again, the words that had left a bitter taste in your mouth when he rushed them out for the first time. But now all your stomach could do is hurt from all the butterflies, the look in your eyes finally reciprocating those of the boy in front of you.
You sit there for a moment, basking in each other’s presence and slowly coming to terms with the fact that you were on the same page about this after all. You were scared that Sunghoon will never want to speak to you again, and right now you couldn’t be happier that he decided to approach you one more time, giving you the chance to rebuild your relationship on a different level.
After a while of staring at each other and taking in each other’s confession, you couldn’t help but burst out into laughter together. This whole ordeal was so stupidly romantic despite the bumpy start and you had a hard time trying to contain your amusement.
“We should have done this the first time already.” You admitted, shaking your head at the painful memory of Sunghoon scaring you away with his revelation. Sunghoon couldn’t help but raise his brows at you in disbelief.
“Yeah? Well, whose fault was that?” he challenged and guilt glossed over your face, your lips forming a pout. The boyish grin he was wearing only grew wider.
“Stop blaming me, I know I fucked up.” You acknowledged, dropping your head in shame. Sunghoon was quick to shoot a hand under your chin, making you look up at him again.
“We both did. It’s fine.” He reassured with a smile, and you could only do so much as copy it. Silence took over once again, his hand slowly dropping from under your chin, landing on your own. You noticed that Sunghoon was pondering over something, and the mischievous smirk that was forming didn’t help.
You threw your head back in agony. He was getting playful again and you hated loved it.
“Oh boy, what is it now?” you were careful to ask, not sure if you really wanted to know what was on his mind right now. Sunghoon cleared his throat.
“You know, I just think it’s funny that you told me to get laid and then turned out to be the person to do it shortly after.”
Yep, you didn’t want to know what was on his mind. He chuckled and your face ran pale upon hearing him. You groaned in frustration, hiding your face in your hands in embarrassment. Your shy reaction made Sunghoon laugh even harder, throwing his head back in his usual manner and he couldn’t help but tease you a bit since he hadn’t done it in a while. Seeing your agitated look was enough to satisfy him.
You were so immersed that you didn’t notice the wind picking up speed and the clouds thickening. Only when an especially strong breeze almost swept you from the pier did you realize that a storm was coming.
“I think we should go.” Sunghoon nodded in agreement and the moment you got up, you felt the first drop of rain hit your face.
It wasn’t the last one for sure and before you knew it, it was pouring. You quickly came to the conclusion that running to the cabins would be too far, so you opted for the little lifeguard hut near the beach instead. The cold rain hitting you made your legs carry you to the hut even faster, unconsciously intertwining Sunghoon’s hand with yours.
You yelped a little when he pushed you forward, motioning you to hurry up since the rain was hitting you at high speed now. Whatever you expected from tonight, it was not going to bed soaking wet. But it also wasn’t Sunghoon and you to reconcile. You win some, you lose some.
After what felt like an eternity, you finally reached the small veranda in front of the hut. Thankful that the porch had a canopy, you breathed heavily and relaxed against the walls of the house. You glanced at Sunghoon and noticed that he was completely drenched from head to toe. Much to your dismay, you realized that you were just as soaked. But the moment you caught each other’s eyes, you couldn’t help but giggle again.
The hopeless romantic in you couldn’t be happier right now. You watched as the rain only poured harder, so you had no choice but to stay under the canopy for a while.
You noticed Sunghoon was struggling with his hair, one strand always falling into his eyes no matter how many times he tried to push it back. You couldn’t help yourself, your hand shooting up towards his face to fix it.
“Here, let me.” You said, fully turning to him while he did the same. Instead of fixing it, you ruffled his hair even more, causing several strands to drop in front of his eyes. Despite the hair covering his eyes, you could feel the unimpressed look he probably gave you. You snickered and proceeded to actually fix his hair this time.
Once you finished tugging his hair back, you noticed how much he was staring at you. You slowly retracted your hand from his hair, trying to decipher his look. Nothing but love, you concluded, and it was confirmed once he opened his mouth to speak.
“I really want to kiss you right now.”
Your heart hammered in your chest at his words. The longing in his eyes almost made you faint and without a second thought, you pushed yourself forward to connect your lips. It took you only a second to melt into him, lips moving like they had always belonged together. Sunghoon’s hands were quick to find your waist again while yours wandered around his neck.
“Closer.” He whispered against your lips, pulling you towards him by your waist, close not being close enough as his lips worked wonders against your own. You were trying to lean back to catch your breath, but Sunghoon didn’t let you, chasing after your lips relentlessly as if he had to make up for something. Your back was arched and Sunghoon towered over you, making you feel even smaller.
You couldn’t help but let your hand wander into his hair, scratching his scalp slightly, which elicited a small gasp from him. Taking the opportunity, you let your tongue slowly dance against his own and he was quick to follow along.
Sunghoon only broke apart from you when he felt like suffocating, pressing his forehead against yours to catch his breath. You opened your eyes slowly, instantly being met with his own. You had never felt so cherished before, so adored. The moment you caught him staring at you with the most loving gaze, you couldn’t help but break out into a smile which he quickly mirrored.
Time seemed to stand still, the rain only a faint background noise as you basked in each other’s presence once again. The kiss and your gazes held so much emotion, so much you two wanted to share with each other earlier but couldn’t. But no matter how chaotic things got at the beginning of the summer, you wouldn’t want to be anywhere else at that moment.
“Do you really think we need to take pictures?” A hushed whisper could be heard from one of the cabins.
“Of course! The others wouldn’t believe us if we just told them.” Another voice responded, almost drowned out completely by the rain.
“We’re going to tease them about this to no end, are we?”
“Oh, absolutely.”
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groenendaelfic · 11 months
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do you think wille will/should abdícate in the future or do you think he’ll become king one day?
The way this is worded I am 99.9 percent sure this is one of my friends trolling me, but I'll bite anyway even if it is, so strap in, because I have many messy, convoluted THOUGHTS. (in case it isn't sorry for presuming Anon and thanks for your question and being curious about my opinion)
The reason why I think this is a friendly troll ask is because you can't make this an or question and I have been very vocal about that in the past. I mean you can, Young Royals fandom is doing it all the time everywhere, but you shouldn't and yes I'll keep being nitpicky about that.
Why? Because In the context of monarchies and royalty the word abdication only applies to crowned monarchs and yes it does make a difference.
Let me use a (simplified) irl example: Harry didn't abdicate, William can't abdicate (yet), only Charles can and only now that he's king. Charles could have given up his rights to the throne in favor of William when he was still Prince of Wales, but that wouldn't have been an abdication, not if he had done it before becoming King himself.
The same is true for Wilhelm. Wilhelm can only abdicate after ascending the throne. If he's not king, it's not an abdication.
Yes I'll keep harking on about this until the end of my days, because while it might not seem like a big deal what word you use here, it actually makes a big difference legally and politically and on all levels if it's a crowned monarch and head of state formally abdicating or if it's an heir giving up their place in the line of succession.
So what we're actually all discussing here (most of the time) is should Wilhelm give up his place in the line of succession and right to the throne, and my immediate reaction to that (after no, never, but also he's sixteen, it's way to soon for any of that) is, how and in what way?
We're all rooting for Wilhelm and want him to be happy, of course we are. Wilhelm is my absolute favorite, but I hate this trend in the fandom that's romanticizing what everyone likes to call "'Wille's abdication" or abolishing the monarchy in general, because just because "it's right", doesn't mean it's in any way easily or quickly done in a "haha and now Sweden no longer has a monarchy" kind of way. That's not how it works.
Don't get me wrong, I'll never romanticize the monarchy or any other systems enforcing hierarchies and inequality, not in irl nor in any of my fics. Tax billionaires until they aren't anymore, eat the rich and yes, of course get rid of all monarchies, but you can't just go "lol no longer a prince", especially when like Wilhelm, you're still a teenager and can't make a properly informed decision about what you're doing.
Now before you all come at me with pitchforks, of course teenagers can tell right from wrong and make informed decisions, but Wilhelm grew up not only with immense privilege, but also extremely sheltered and in a bubble. Yes he started out his first semester of 'high school' in a public school, but I promise you the majority of his classmates' parents weren't plumbers or tax accountants.
Wilhelm has no idea of real life, not even rich people real life. He doesn't go to the store or buy his own clothes, and neither do his parents, nor do they randomly go to restaurants or whatever. Wille has never been able to go out in public without being photographed and noticed and everyone making a fuss, and he has no idea how most things work because there's always staff doing everything for him quietly and in the background.
If, and I say if, Wilhelm is sure he wants to step back from his role, then he should still wait until his early to mid twenties before doing so, because doing so is complicated and not something he can change his mind about later. Also he needs to learn about normal life first.
But I digress. Lets say Wilhelm does want to give up the throne. He's brought it up himself as a possibility when he was still desperately trying to get Simon back in any way he could. That still makes him a prince and a duke.
He'd still be a member of the royal family/house (I hate how that seems to be used synonymously in English). Not being king wouldn't mean he wouldn't be expected to become a working member of the royal family once he's an adult, except now there'll be a different monarch, one he'll have to obey within the family hierarchy, and chances are it'll be August.
Okay, so we take this a step further. Wilhelm gives up his rights to the throne and doesn't become a working royal, but that would mean betraying his family (his words) and stepping away from them. Not just his parents but everything he's grown up with and everything he knows. And he'd still be a prince and a duke.
Wilhelm will never be Joe Average Wille (is Harry now? Was Diana? and neither of them were next in line), no matter how much he might want to, especially not after S02E06 and I know I've said it before but I'll say it again: he'll keep being hounded, he'll keep being seen as royalty, and the only thing that'll change is who pays for his security.
(which btw the security thing is no joke, I know Wilhelm has no Diana levels of celebrity yet, but he's now the first openly queer modern royal and heir to the Swedish throne, there will be significant international media interest and it will stay, especially now with smart phones being able to capture his every move, and I'm old enough to remember the shit show that happened when Diana no longer had official protection officers and police protection and it was not fun, hounded is an understatement and professional 24/7 security is expensive and private security will never be as good as those who also have government/Security Service resources)
Also I firmly believe that what Wilhelm hates is not being royalty or the future king, but being forced into a role, handed a script and expected to perform without any of his own input.
When that changes, and it will, his attitude towards it will also change.
People argue that he'll be happier once he gives up his place in the line of succession, but I disagree.
I think he might have been happier had he been born a normal kid, but also maybe not because then he'd be a very different person, so there's no telling, but he'd always live with the guilt of betraying his family and heritage, and people, both well meaning and not, will never let him forget that.
Yes he struggles now, and I don't want to make light of his struggles, but every teenager struggles with their identity and place in life and things will be different once he's grown up and more secure in himself.
My 'ideal' fantasy solution were this irl would be for Wilhelm to become the last King and to work with the government to ensure a smooth transition once he retires, because abolishing the Swedish monarchy is complicated, but do I think that'll actually happen? No. Because that's not the kind of person Wilhelm is.
Also Wilhelm has been born to immense wealth, privilege and soft power, all three of which he will to a degree keep all his life no matter what happens.
Of course he needs to put his own mental health and wellbeing first, and I'm aware that he never asked for any of this, but he still has it, and with that comes a duty, and I think it'd be absolutely selfish of him to just take that wealth, privilege and soft power and to let the "common people" deal with the mess he left behind, because let's not kid ourselves, if he announces he'll give up his throne tomorrow and sticks with it until he's eighteen and beyond, do you really think people in power won't do anything they can to keep the system in place?
Kristina loves her son and wants what's best for him, even if she's not the best parent, but she'll not dismantle the system for him.
She knew what August had done, and she still would've rather had him as heir instead of even so much as considering anything else.
The Royal Court most certainly won't, and even if the elected government wouldn't be opposed to getting rid of the monarchy (if, there's a chance but not a guarantee, depending who is in power when that happens), that's not the end of it.
You can't abolish the monarchy and keep the nobility (edit: as it's been pointed out you can in theory, but my point is that the nobility won't be happy about it because it's a threat to them as well, and not just socially, and why would a Sweden in the 21st century do one but not the other, elites don't like changes in the status quo, even if at first glance it doesn't directly affect them, and this does), and there will be plenty of people, both obscenely rich and averagely well off people, who will do their utmost to keep their position of privilege.
It will not only become a matter of equality, Sweden is one of the most egalitarian countries in the world. It'll be about history and heritage and tradition.
It'll be a giant mess and if it wants any chance of succeeding, it'll need someone in power to actively work towards it, someone whose position the monarchists and traditionalists and conservatives respect, and that has to be a King Wilhelm, not a Crown Prince Wilhelm or a Prince Wilhelm or a Joe Average Wille who took his wealth and privilege and soft power and ran away because he chose to be selfish and leave a system in place no one was better able to do something about than him.
Now of course I'm once again talking about an adult Wilhelm, canon Wilhelm is still a teenager and shouldn't have to deal with or worry about any of that, and he gets to want to be selfish, because he's sixteen, but he won't always be sixteen, and when he isn't any longer his outlook will have changed as well.
Now we come to another point though, and that is that Wilhelm is not a revolutionary. He has his own head and a temper and doesn't want to blindly do as he's told, but he's not the kind of person who goes and topples a system.
I don't even think Simon is. He wouldn't mind the monarchy being abolished, sure, but I don't think he has the energy to become a political activist and to fight the system all his life, especially in a life without Wilhelm.
With Wilhelm it's different, there I'm sure he'll use the power he has for good. He'd be aware that he can change things and do his best to choose his engagements carefully should he become a member of the royal family.
That said, in time I don't think Wilhelm will mind being King, not if he also gets to be with Simon at the same time, and I don't think he should give up his place in the line of succession.
Finally, and most importantly, because we're talking about a TV show and a fic fandom here and not irl, I love playing with the idea of the Royal Court, the Swedish upper class, and all the conservatives and monarchists having to (figuratively) bow and scrape to an openly queer, headstrong monarch and the gay, biracial love of his life who also happens to be the son of a poor, immigrant single mother, because that is a very, very cathartic thought, and so yeah, King Wilhelm and Prince/Duke/King Consort Simon all the way, always.
That's what drew me to this show in the first place, a queer Crown Prince, and not a random queer teenager going about his normal life. There're plenty of other (great) shows for that.
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gadriezmannsgirl · 10 months
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Not Like Others -P.G (2)
Not me ending this as soon as I got home and did all my homework a bit rushed at 1:35am knowing I had to wake up early today✌🏻😌✨😁 But still I fell asleep with my phone in hand, so I didn't posted it on the time I had finished😭🥴 and now I'm off of work and decided to take a little breather from Uni work. Anyways... I hope you enjoy it! Please, let me know what you think of this! And I want to hear/read you guys out, what do you think it'll happen in the series?!
|Chapter I| |Chapter III|
Summary: When you get the chance of meeting Pablo Gavi, you don't seem to react as the rest of people would do and that attracts him to you
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Two Weeks Later
Being the new girl was absolutely awful, everyone is looking at you, talking, whispering about you, judging the way your looks without getting to know anything from you first. You hated it and you hated being in the spotlight.
You had a week going at the Universitat de Barcelona and you were still pretty much alone since no one has got closer to you for anything. You now remember why you hated the thought of moving to a new country, this was exactly what you imaginated and exactly what you disliked.
Walking into the cafeteria, everyone turned to look at you once more, you sighed grabbing your lunch and going towards the table that was in the back, ready to eat. Have you said you hated being in this kind of spotlight?
Because you had done a revalidation and equivalence of your recent college studies in Canada for the transfer, you were now in your third semester (two semesters behind of what you actually were), where the UB had been the first one interested in you and opened their doors, accepting you into their university family. You were currently sat at one of the tables eating your lunch and enjoying some words of Colleen Hoover “Regretting You” when two girls and three boys stood in front of you
"¿Les puedo ayudar en algo?" (Can I help you with anything?) You said
"Yes, ¿Podemos sentarnos contigo?" (Can we sit with you?) The red haired girl said with a small smile
"Hemos estado queriendo acercarnos desde que llegaste pero no sabíamos como" (We've been wanting get closer to you ever since you came here but we didn't know how) The sunkissed skin boy said showing his dimples as you nod witth a light smile
"Sure" You made space for them to fill the table
"Anastasia Rodríguez but everyone calls me Ana" A dark haired girl with glasses said
"I'm Olivia Montero" The red haired girl said doing a peace sign with her fingers
"Jonathan Ontero" A blonde guy smiled
"Eric Wolf" A dark haired boy with deep blue eyes said
"Antonio Figueroa" The sunkissed boy said
"Nice to meet you guys, I'm Y/N Santos" You smiled softly
"Have you got any other friends? What do you think of the Uni?" Jonathan asked as you shake your head laughing
"You guys are the first ones to come by" You admit shyly "And it's huge, I keep on getting lost" They laugh "but it's really pretty"
"Is that why you came late to Paint II?" You nod shyly
"I think the professor doesn't like me though, he keeps on putting this bitchy face whenever I appear on his vision" They laugh
"No, that's his face. I promise" Eric chuckled as you nod laughing quietly
"I'm sorry if this may sound a bit out of place, but it's so cool and at the same time so weird to have a Canadian between us"
"I'm not" You shook your head "I'm Spaniard"
"You're even cooler then!" Ana exclaimed making a few heads come to where you were sitting, Jonathan sushed her as she softly pushed her finger up to her lip in a quiet motion. You couldn't help but laugh
"Lo siento" You said as they waved you off with a smile.
They kept on talking and it was safe to say you liked them, they were really funny. You don’t know how or when but after the lunch they had spent the rest of the day with you. Anastasia claiming you as one of them now, you smiled and accepted. You had enjoyed the day with their jokes, occurrences and got a hold of the whole system at college because of them.
They reminded you a little bit of your old friend group but instead of being five (six including you), your old group consisted of four, two and two. However these guys were chattier than ever and you loved that too seeing that you also loved to talk.
“Oh, Y/N! One of my friends is doing this party this Saturday, you should come!” Jonathan said as you all were meeting after the last class of the day.
"Party?" You ask "It's their birthday?" He shook his head
"More like a celebration" He added "He's in a team and wants to do a celebration for this big win" You nod processing
“Oh gosh! Yes, that’s such a good idea! You can socialize more, get to know people and even Barcelona!” Olivia said as you shook your head lightly
"I don't know" You said doubtly "I know nobody in there and I'm sure you guys will do your thing" You waved your hands around "The last thing I want is one of you stop spending a good time to practically babysit me and no, señor. That's not happening" You shook your head and also shook your finger side to side as they all smiled
"You're cute if you think we won't spend THE greatest time over there" You smiled blushing lightly at Eric
"Also, you're cute thinking we'll give up on the first try" Ana wrapped her arm around your shoulder "You just have to wait, you'll be crazy for the party"
And three days later you were tired of waiting. The persuasive method of these guys was extremely annoying and you were already guessing the words that could come out of their mouths, each one, taking turns on who was the one speaking next.
You could even say you had dreamed with the: 'You have/gotta/should come to my/Jonathan's friend party! It'll be awesome and we'll all be there, pretty please' words.
And when Antonio opened his mouth you instantly shushed him off.
"I'll be there" You said to him as he smiled nodding fist bumping the air
"I knew it!" He exclaimed a little bit too loud
"If you already knew the various artistic movements, Mr. Figueroa, I ask you to come up here and explain some of them" Miss Alba, the professor of Modern Art, told him in a monotone voice and her facial expression was up in interest as everyone turned around to look at you both. You looked down in shame and blushed hard as Antonio stuttered
"I-I...mmm"
"The most seen, used and that we can qualify as importants are cubism, futurism, surrealism, impressionism, expressionism, art brut and a few more" You spoke up with determination, you had already seen this curse back in Canada and you had nailed every test, quiz, popquiz, presentation and essays.
"Well done, señorita Santos. Now, señor Figueroa, le aconsejo que preste un poco más de atención a la clase y deje de hablar con Y/N, entendemos que es una chica muy bonita, inteligente y es nueva aquí, pero por favor, para los chats existen las horas de descanso" (Mr. Figueroa, I suggest you to pay a little more of attention to the class and stop talking with Y/N, we understand she's pretty, smart and new girl here, but, please, you can do that bit of chatting on your resting times) If you had blushed you were now rainbow coloured, Antonio had murmured a quiet "Sure, professor" and sank back on his seat as you heard the laughs of the whole class came in embarrassing the two of you
"Happy?" You whisper ask "You embarrassed us!"
"No, I embarrassed myself. You saved your ass answering to that question" He said with a light smile on
You shook your head and smiled lightly
"Good thing is" Antonio said softly leaning over you "... You'll go to the party" You smile nodding
"You did it, guys. I'm going to the damn party" He fist bumped the air again
"¡Joder que si!" He says as you sush him once more
"Stop that!"
...
You wonder how you got in this position.
Antonio said he was going to give you the lift but his car suddenly broke down and he was coming later because of it. Jonathan and Ana were already there since the evening helping Jonathan's friend out, Olivia was going with her boyfriend and he was driving her. And Eric had a last minute issue with his grandmother so he couldn't go, nothing too big though.
You didn't trusted going in cabs alone, you never liked it, ever since you were little and saw that a man had kidnapped a woman like that you had hated it, and on really weird ocassions you were going into one but you always had to be on the phine with someone or messaging.
Your parents were busy at the traffic and you were stuck, you thought of pulling out from the party but you also hated it, giving your word and then not fulfilling in what you said.
So, with a call to your mom letting her know you'll go there walking and a google map direction from Jonathan you decided to grab your keys and walked all the way there. It was 4:30pm so the sun was still visible and when you realized the walk was 25 minutes away, it got better and didn't think to much of it.
But how the hell did you decided to get to the party on foot was the best option if you only had two weeks and three days moved in the Catalan streets?
...Guess who ended up lost?
You sighed once more, the map only confusing you even more, you were supposed to be at El Camino street but you saw around you and you were at the Las Palmas street. You sighed in defeat.
"I'll die today" You murmured sighing
You tried to go up to people and ask them directions but you were either too shy or they didn't stopped not even to give you the time.
You were about to call desperate to any of the guys or even your parents to take you either back home or towards the party when you saw three boys across you eating a cup of ice cream.
This was your chance to get all sorted out and hopefully go to the right way towards the house.
"Hola" You touched one of the guys shoulder when he turned around his expression was full on scrunched up, it seemed like he was bothered by your presence and you smiled at him "Lamento molestarles" (Sorry to bother you, guys) You said softly to direct yourself towards the guy who's shoulder you touched and face was scrunched up "¿Quería preguntarte si tu podrías...?" (I wanted to ask you if you could...?) He cut you off harshly
"No estoy disponible para fotos o autógrafos ahorita, lo siento. Estoy con mis amigos en una salida y queremos pasarla bien" (I'm not up for pics or autographs right now, sorry. I'm with my friends and we just wanna have a great time) He said and you furrowed your eyebrows before laughing lightly
"¿Okay? Eso está perfecto. I wanted to-" (That's perfect)
"Please, no autographs nor pics"
"¿Autógrafos? ¿Fotos? I'm sorry, who do you think you are?" (Autographs? Pics?) You asked laughing lightly
"Like you don't know who I am" He said not believing it
"I don't know actually! Are you that important for me to ask for a pic or something?" He stood there without saying anything
"I don't believe it. Just go please, I'm not in the mood right now" He said and you sighed shaking your head
"Ay, hermano. ¿Sabes? Olvídalo. Was going to ask you to give me this address because I'm new here and most likely, lost; but nevermind" (Oh, bro. You know what? Just forget it) You shook your head watching his face fall a bit once you showed him your phone with Google maps on "Gracias de todas maneras" (Thank you either way) You said "Lamento arruinarles la tarde" (Sorry to ruin your evening) You said once more before turning around
"Oye, no. Lo siento, déjame-" This time you cut him off by showing your palm
"Don't worry, have a nice day" You smiled politely "Try not to be an arrogant asshole next time, maybe" You left them hearing the calls from the guy but you didn't paid attention to him too busy looking at your phone trying to guess if it's right or left
"Hola" Someone said behind you, you turned around seeing one of the guys that were along with the arrogant brunette "Disculpa a mi amigo. Es un poco quisquilloso" (Hi. Excuse my friend. He's a little peaky)
"Un poco arrogante, diría yo" (A little arrogant, I'd say) He laughed nodding
"Only sometimes" You hummed
"That's not nice at all, then" You say crossing your arms across your chest "So...?" You ask hinting on him to tell you the reason why he had come up to you
"I'm willing to help you out find the address" He said and you nodded taking out your phone, showing it to him "You're close, five minutes away tops"
"Really?" You ask impressed watching as he laughs nodding
"This is Las Palmas street, the next one is El Camino. It says here you take a turn on the left and at the end of the street there's this residence, it's in there" He smiles as you nod smiling too
"Okay okay, cool. Thank you so much. I'm sorry for ruining your evening"
"You didn't ruined anything in fact, I'm sorry for Gavi's behaviour" You smile shaking your head
"Is he really known? Or he was just taking the piss out of me?" The guy stays quiet for a bit as you shook your head "Well, nevermind... Just tell him to come down from that cloud of his, please. Arrogancy doesn't look nice at all" You said as he nods pointing gunfingers at you
"Got it" He smiled "I'm Diego, by the way. I hope Barcelona is of your liking"
"Thanks, it's really gorgeous... I just have to learn the streets" He laughed as you smiled waving at him "Gotta go, bye! And thanks once again"
"No problem at all!" That's the last thing you heard from the guy before you're walking away.
As you followed instructions from him, you indeed realized you were a block away from El Camino street, you smiled once you saw the big white house as Jonathan had described. You texted him letting him know you were outside, music was being heard from the inside and you smiled grew when you saw Jonathan came out opening the door for you.
"Y/N! I'm glad you are here!"
"I know, I'm glad too! I came here walking and got 'lost' and then there were these guys, one of them was an incredible hijo e'puta but the other helped me out"
"First going out, first party, first fight, first lost and first almost everything today... Checked from the list" You smiled shaking your head "C'mon, let's introduce you to Alejandro, my childhood best friend" Once you got inside, Jonathan's eyes were dancing across the people inside here "¡Balde!" He yelled across the upbeat song "There he is"
You walked next to him until you stopped in front of two guys who were talking and laughing in their world
"Guys! This is Y/N, the newest member into the Uni club" All four guys smiled
"Soy Alejandro" A black skin boy said hugging and giving you two kisses as you did the same "Alejandro Balde, es un placer conocerte. And this is a friend of mine, Ferran Torres"
You greeted the short haired boy just like you did with Alejandro
"¡Bienvenida a Barcelona!" Ferran said as you smile
"¡Gracias!"
"Y/N, mi casa, tú casa" Alejandro said "The kitchen is over there with the drinks and food, the backyard" He was pointing to everywhere he talked "And if you need the bathrooms, let me know, going to the downstairs bath in a party is a bit awful" You laugh nodding and agreeing with him
"¡Gracias!" You said once more
"Don't worry, hope you have a nice time!"
Yeah. You hoped that too.
After a long while drinking some Coca-Cola, dancing, eating a few snacks and overall having a nice time with your friends and Jonathan's buddies, you all sat down outside to enjoy the starry night
"Oh! I just remembered!" You said "Jonathan told me you guys were doing some celebration. I really don't know what you guys have achieved but congratulations" Ferran, Alejandro, Eric and Pablo Torre laughed lightly
"We're football players"
"That's nice!" You open your eyes lightly "And what did you guys won?"
"La Supercopa España" Pablo said as if nothing and you nodded once again "We're first team players"
"Really?"
"You don't watch football?" You shook your head a bit ashamed
"I don't really like it that much" They faked hurt "Sorry!" You all laugh "I rather hockey tho"
"Nice sport" You nod
"It truly is" You smile remembering your team "And which club you guys are in?"
"FC Barcelona" You smile got bigger.
Yes, you didn't liked football but that doesn't meant you don't know the game or the different leagues of it and Barça was a really good and skilled team. You knew your rookies about it, not many but enough to defend yourself.
"Really cool" You said "Well, then... Congratulations on the win guys"
"Gracias" Ferran said "Let me just say... Having us a friends, you'll end up falling in love with football"
"And most important, terminarás siendo una Culé" (You'll end up being a Culé) You shook your head smiling softly
"I don't think so... Gotta stay loyal to my hockey and my Mapple Leafs" They laugh
"Nah, ya verás" (you'll see) Alejandro said shaking his head
"Lo veré" (I'll see) you all laughed
"Let's see that now, then. We'll be waiting for you" Ale said
"Waiting for me when and where?" You asked
"You're invited to the next game at Camp Nou, Y/N" Torre said as you nod
That sounds good... I mean, what could possibly happen? It's just a game with your new friends.
"Deal"
°°° °°° °°° °°°
Taglist: @gaviypedrisbride @stuckinaf4nfiction @elijahslover @azzpenswrld @anastasia-nova @pixwls @footballerficsposts @dessxoxsworld @berriesarenice @chaotic-taco-collector-blog @mystic-aquarius @bisexualbith @sideeblogsstuff @http-isabela
I'm doing a taglist for Not Like Others, if you want to be there, comment a little "NLO taglist, please" and I will know that you wanna be included in it and you will be. Like I said in the beggining, I truly hope you guys like it, let me know what you think. Please, feedback is really important to me because it lets me know you like my works, it helps me with writing and makes me feel nice knowing all the effort I put in these little stories is worth it. With this being said, I read you guys, take care!
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stargazerbibi · 2 months
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🐣🫐🌼 3RD YEAR, 2ND SEMESTER: GOALS & PLANS 🌼🫐🐣
hello there!! fancy seeing you here again hahaha,,
if you know me, you probably guessed it, the new semester is starting soon and so far this thing has worked 2/2 times so.. i'm not about to jinx it by not doing the challenge. whatever works, works, yk?
this time around, i'm only taking 4 classes :( it makes me feel so lazy and wasteful, but i'll need to stay another full year anyways so it's not like it affects anything really (and i'll have way more time to study a subject i, for once, kinda enjoy). either way, i'm sure the classes are going to be absolutely brutal and i won't even notice after the 1st week haha
the term is going to have a maximum of 143 days (ending on the 5th of july), including both exam seasons (which, hopefully, i won't need!!!!), but i think i'm going to start 2 days earlier. yes.. because 145 is a round number.. but also cause i have to clean up my room and prepare everything :P
🌬️💿🪐 GOALS 🪐💿🌬️
-> pass all my classes: 0/4
-> keep my duolingo streak alive
-> read 12 books: 2/12 (last read: Spy Family, by Tatsuya Endo - vol 1)
-> move furniture + organize shelves ☑️
-> organize email
-> transfer photos to computer ☑️
-> visit dad ☑️
🗞️🌕🗡️ FUN PLANS 🗡️🌕🗞️
-> re-read jjk: 2/20
-> watch 10 movies: 4/10 (last watched: Lady Bird)
-> watch 10 series: 1/10 (last watched: Mushishi)
-> build legos: 3/5
-> buy cute mugs to put my pens in ☑️
-> finish 1 game
-> complete my acnh island
🌆🔮👒 COUNTERS 👒🔮🌆
-> late nights: 6 (goal: 0)
-> hangout with friends: 3 (goal: 10)
-> things i created: 1 (goal: 10)
-> primogems: 6,372/28,000
i'll add more things as they come up, but for now this is the plan ;)
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cheriechrome · 2 years
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The rule - m. Estapa
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Summary- when Luke hughes twin sister breaks the one rule main rule.
details - grace Hughes x Mark estapa , friends to lovers, forbidden relationship, mentions of alcohol/underage drinking
(Disclaimer this is my first fic in a very long time so if it’s not great I’m so sorry lol)
One rule. There was always one rule.
Don't date your brother's teammates….
Now the rule never actually ever had to be said to Grace because it never seemed like it simply would be an issue. Quinn’s teammates were too old, so were Jack's, and by the time both grace and Luke were old enough to date she had absolutely zero interest in any of them. The rule never had to be said but it was still there and always followed. That was until college. Over the start of freshman year, Grace had gotten really close with the hockey team, especially the freshman. Sure she had been close with Luke’s teammates before but this was different especially with Mark Estapa. Mark Fucking Estapa.
It was about the end of October when it hit her that she felt more than friendly about him. It was at some random party after she had come back from getting a drink and saw some girl talking to him and felt weird, like weird weird, Weird in your heart. Grace was jealous. Oh. oh shit. oh fuck. The party soon ended for her with a quick “I'm tired and don't feel so well” to her confused brother while dragging Beck, her roommate and best friend back to their dorm by her sleeve. So that leads the pair to where they are now. Beck watching Grace pace like a crazy person back in their dorm.
Grace’s pov:
“If you pace any faster our carpet is going to light on fire dude, what happened that we had to leave so bad?” beck said worried, she knows You never wanted to leave early.
“It’s bad beck so very bad.”
“Are you dying? Cause that would suck.”
“No?! No... I like mark.” I mumble out looking at her like she’s just automatically supposed to know why it’s such a big deal.
“Oh. well duh,” She looked at me like I had just told her the sky is blue.
“What do you mean duh?!” I say, still freaking out.
“Literally it’s the most obvious thing ever, you guys are glued at the hip, he’s always the second person you say hi to in a group, 1st if your brother isn’t there.”
“Is it really that obvious?”
“Yes, but I do not see the issue here, you guys would be cute anyways,” she says shrugging.
“You don't get it b, The one rule is never date your brother's teammates I’ve never not followed it. It has never even had to be said to me that's how well I follow it.”
“If it hasn't been said to you then technically…”
“No. Especially with Luke's teammates, you know how overprotective he is. He will lose it.”
“Ok well I doubt he knows right now, he’s kinda oblivious, no offense,” she says quickly. “None taken.” “Plus you guys aren't dating or doing anything so technically you are not breaking a single rule” Beck calms me down.
“You’re right, as long as we don’t do anything it’s fine. It’s not a sin to have a crush.”
“When am I wrong? I’m going to go get water, all the being right made me thirsty” she says in her usual sarcasm. I get into bed and low and behold there's a text from speak of the devil.
“Hey, are you okay? luke said you left early so I just wanted to check in”
“Yeah all good just wasn't feeling too hot plus I have class kinda early, thanks for checking in <;3”
“No need to thank me, it's the good thing to do, night! :)”
“Night! :)”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
It was about a month later, funny enough at a party. It was an end of semester one that some of the guys were throwing. Grace has somewhat distanced herself from Mark which is hard when he’s around 24/7. She did not want to be distant, it was killing her. After all, he was a friend first and she missed him, she missed him a lot. So that's what led her to where she is now, about 4 drinks in trying to distract herself until she can go home for break in two days. It was harder to avoid him than normal tonight. Beck had gone home early so Graces only option was the guys, that explains the 4 dirty Shirley's. Now she wasn’t usually an emotional drunk but with everything building up tonight she was. She felt like she was about to burst into tears any second. With Beck gone unless luke walked her back she had no way of getting back to the dorms. All She wanted was to go to her dorm and let it all out.
“Hey Luke, I know it’s early but I really don’t feel well can you walk me home now?” Grace slurred out.
“Yeah, you okay? You look like you're about to cry.” 
“I'm f-fine just very drunk and not feeling well.” Then suddenly another voice speaks up.
“Hey I got that water you wanted lu- Woah Gracie you okay?” Great the last person she needed to see right now.
“I was just about to take her home, I think she drank too much and is overwhelmed,” Luke spoke up.
“I can walk her home, I should probably get some stuff done before I leave anyway” Mark suggested.
“Yeah ok, is that ok Gracie?”
“Yeah” she whispers, she felt bad for making luke take her home anyway. As long as she stayed silent and he just dropped her off she should be fine. She hopes.
The walk home was silent which usually was unlike grace, especially around him. Once the pair reached her dorm she realized that she had left her keys at the house. That’s when the floodgates opened, the tears she had been holding in all night just came pouring out.
“Woah, Woah, Gracie what's wrong?” Mark asked worriedly.
“I- I left my keys at the house I- I’m sorry,” she said sobbing.
“Hey, Hey it’s ok we can just go to mine, for now, okay?”
“Yeah, ok” Grace sniffed.
When they got to his dorm and sat on his bed, he sat down next to her typing something quickly on his phone. She could tell he wanted to say something but wanted to let her calm down first.
“I don’t want to push but are you okay? I’m worried Gracie you have been distant lately and tonight, I just want to know you are ok. Is there an issue? Did something happen”
“Kind of” she whispered, still drunk she can tell she is about to say something you shouldn’t.
“What's the issue?” Mark says softly. 
“You.” 
“What? Did I do something?” he says sounding hurt.
“it’s silly I just-”
“Please tell me, please”
“I- I like you and not in the best friend way, which is terrible not cause of you, but because I’m not allowed to like you. That stupid rule of never date your brother’s teammates is just always there and I've never cared about it until now but I really like you. Which sucks to admit cause you probably don’t feel the same which makes this even worse.” She said letting it all out and was crying again, she’s still drunk whether it’s on the alcohol or emotions at this point she isn’t sure.
“You like me?”
“Yeah…” he didn’t say anything he just looked at her. But before her brain could go into overdrive with thoughts he leans in and kisses her. It’s soft and gentle, it’s all she ever wanted.
“I- that was” she stuttersout.
“Great, really great,” he replied with a soft look still holding her. There was a knock on the door which caused both of them to spring apart. 
“That’s probably eddy I texted him to bring your keys when he came back, we can talk about this more later right?” he replied almost sad.
“Yeah, that sounds good,” she said a little sad.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The next morning she woke up with maybe the worst headache she’d ever felt. At first, she did not remember much from last night but then it hit her like a train going at full speed with no plan of stopping.
Oh shit.
part 2
311 notes · View notes
adultish-momma · 2 years
Text
Bonus Scene: Pay the Price
Yuu is not going to fall into the trap of doing the work without the title and the benefits thank you very much.
Warnings: The whole thing is just dialogue. I didn't write a single thing that wasn't being spoken out loud. It's mainly two separate conversations between two characters, but there are like, five 'speech bubbles' at the very end that is four distinct speakers, so feel free to ask me for clarification on who is speaking if you get confused!
A/n: While not fully on the "slander-Crowley" bandwagon (thank you weird complicated relationship with management/direct authority figures), no one is safe from Yuu's wrath. So let's cook some carrion.
P.S. If you want to place this in a timeline, the first conversation happens right after the beginning of Book 2, and the last conversation would be occurring soon into the interim of Book 2 and Book 3
"Crowley, I'm going to say this in the most polite and respectful way I can, but what the hell?"
"Language! Such aggression against your poor Headmage! Whatever have I done to deserve this treatment from my own student?"
"Did you or did you not just get out of another housewarden meeting?"
"Why yes, the meeting was actually quite productive for once. We were able to clear up some final details on an upcoming inter-dorm tournament. All because of my gracious guidance of course."
"An inter-dorm... Crowley, how many times do I need to tell you to invite me to Dormleader meetings? There is a student registered under my care, I have to know things! Like an inter-dorm tournament!"
"Yes yes yes, I'll remember next time, for I am oh so caring about my poor students' desires and needs. But would you look at that, I must be getting back to work, busy busy, running a school full of such unruly - I mean! Such energetic young men. Run along now Prefect, shoo, shoo"
--------
"Ah Headmaster, welcome back!"
"What- Wh- Prefect just what is the meaning of this?!"
"Oh, don't mind me. I'm just updating my schedule with all of the Dormleader meetings you have planned for the rest of the semester. Oh! I hope you don't mind, I took the liberty to make a copy of last meeting's notes as well, since I was already here and all."
"Prefect, this is completely out of bounds. I let you get away with a lot, for I am ever so gracious, but breaking into my office to steal confidential information is beyond crossing the line. The Prefect of Ramshackle you may be, but you are not a housewarden. You do not have the same level of access, nor the same privileges that they receive. You would do well to remember this."
"Mmm. Is that so? Well, alright, message heard loud and clear. I'll be going now, good luck with all that paperwork."
"Paper- Prefect what is this stack of papers you're leaving behind!? This is nearly as tall as my beak is long!"
"Oh, all that? That's all the paperwork every dorm has to have completed for the school. Stuff like budgets and activity proposals and student reports. There's some extra in this stack since Ramshackle is being re-established, so some of this is things like drafts of the dorm code of conduct and mock-ups of uniforms for the Ramshackle students. At least 20 pages are just the building inspection "this absolutely needs to be fixed" checklist."
"And why have you decided to leave your paperwork behind on my desk?"
"Because that's all paperwork for the dorm leader to fill out. And I'm not a dorm leader. So when a dorm has no house warden or vice house warden, that dorm's assigned staff member takes on the duties of house warden until a student replacement can be assigned as the new dorm leader. And seeing as you're Night Raven's esteemed HeadMage, I'm sure you're well aware of the fact that you are the assigned staff member for Ramshackle dorm."
"O-of course I knew that. And as the esteemed HeadMage of this institution, I am much too busy to be doing so much paperwork for only one dorm. I would love to help my poor magicless student, for my heart is filled with such sorrow thinking about your tragic situation. But I am afraid that if I take on the house warden paperwork for Ramshackle, on top of all the ever-so-important duties I have as HeadMage of Night Raven College, I will never be able to search for a way to send you home Prefect."
"Are you trying to blackmail me into doing the work of a dorm leader, but receiving none of the benefits that come with that title?"
"Why I would never do such an outrageous thing! Me, blackmail a student? Why, I was just lamenting over how terrible your situation already is, and how much potential it has to get even worse."
"Speaking of my situation, I bet it would make such an interesting story to the news outlets and reporters throughout Twisted Wonderland. The magicless student from another dimension, brought here against their will, started as a janitor and is now the top student in their grade at the revered Night Raven College for the Arcane Arts. What an underdog story. Personally, I think Professor Ambrose at RSA will enjoy hearing about just how generous you've been to poor pitiful me."
"Yuu, are you blackmailing me?"
"Dire, do you want me to do the Ramshackle paperwork?"
...
...
"What exactly is it that you want?"
------------------------------
"Oh! Prefect, I didn't expect to see you here. Crowley hasn't arrived yet if you were looking for him. But you'll have to make it quick, for we should be trying to start our House Warden meeting fairly soon after he gets here."
"Oh thank you Riddle, but I'm here for the meeting."
"Oi, Herbivore, your ears are working, right? House Warden meeting. As in, not for cubs like you. So move along, before that crazy crow comes. Can't get a moment of peace if he sees his 'precious Prefect'"
"Ah well you see, the thing is-"
"Amazing! I see everyone is here and ready for the meeting to start. First order of business. I'd like you all to meet Yuu, the new Ramshackle House Warden."
296 notes · View notes
fuwapower-prettycure · 7 months
Text
Episode 1: Living My Dream! I Am Cure Reverie!
“Oh dear, are you okay?”
In an aisle full of colorful books, Yumeno Eiko found a child. She was a skinny young thing; With well-worn sandals and a rosy dress that swamped her tiny frame. Her cheeks were wet with tears, as if she had been crying for some time. 
The girl was startled at Eiko’s voice. She looked up from the floor and met the kind woman’s ruby eyes, momentarily mesmerized. 
“Your eyes are pretty.” She whispered through tiny sobs. 
Eiko chuckled at that. She supposed her eyes were unique, though this little one surely had more important things to worry about than a pair of irises. Lowering herself as gracefully as she could, Eiko met the child at eye level. 
Her soft words came out slowly. “I could say the same of your dress, darling. Tell me, what’s a sweet thing like you doing here by yourself?” 
That seemed to have been the wrong thing to say, as the girl once again found fat tears streaming down her cheeks. “I was with my dad, a-and I saw the coolest book! I came here to look at it, but then da-daddy was gone,” she cried.
A thin hand reached out to the child. Eiko lifted herself and gave the small girl a grin; Her smile widening when a soft grip connected with hers. 
“Worry not, dear! Let’s find a helper and have them call for your father, yes? I’m Ms. Yumeno.” She waved at a nearby employee, looking at the small body now cuddled against her leg. Her tears seemed to have dried by now. The girl gazed at her with wonder in her large green eyes. 
Eiko patted her head, proud of the child for composing herself so quickly. “Now, little one, can you tell me your name? Your father must be worried about his darling girl.”
Her little companion nodded, bouncing in place slightly. The scowl she wore seconds ago now replaced with a small grin. 
“I’m Maika! Mochizuki Maika!”
~☆~
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~☆~
“Mom! I need to go in!” An auburn-haired girl whined, trapped in her mother's embrace. The thirteen-year-old’s voice held little hostility, and despite her verbal protests, she made no effort to escape the hug. 
The tall woman holding her daughter in her arms chuckled and stepped back, reluctantly pulling away. “I know, Maika. It’s just difficult to see my baby moving out. I thought it would be 6 more years at least! You’re absolutely sure you want to stay in the dormitory? We’ll be quite the drive away.” Although Mochizuki Aina desperately wanted her child to stay at home, both her and her husband, Kazue, knew their daughter needed to expand her social circle. One can only make so many friends while attached to their parent’s side. 
“Don’t worry, I’m going to do great!” With determination and a hint of anxiety, Maika pushed up the round wire glasses resting on her nose. “It's now or never! I’ve got to unpack! I don’t want the room to be a mess when my roommate gets here!” 
A deep voice sounded from behind her. “Mai-Mai, your roommate is starting the semester a few days late. That’s plenty of time to tidy up your dorm.” The proud father said, chuckling at his daughter’s spirit. He came to his wife’s side, putting a hand around her waist. The couple gazed proudly at their little girl. 
Three loud chimes came from a nearby clock tower, signifying the end of student dorm drop-offs. Maika looked down at her overstuffed backpack, then back to her parents. “Is this the last bag I have to bring up?” She asked, already knowing the answer.
Kazue nodded and gave his child a warm smile. The family of three embraced tightly, savoring the short time they had before parents were asked to say their farewells. 
“Chin up, baby.” Maika’s mother lifted her daughter’s face and ruffled her soft hair. “No daughter of Mochizuki Aina backs down from a challenge! You’re ready, and you’re going to do awesome.” She pressed a kiss to her baby’s forehead. “If you ever want a weekend away, let me know. Papa and I will get you as soon as we can.” 
Kazue tightened the hug one last time, nodding at his wife’s words. “We love you so much, Mai-Mai. You’re going to do great. Nothing can stop you.” He kissed the space just under Maika’s bangs where her mother had done so seconds earlier. 
A speaker crackled to life as the family’s farewell ended. 
“All first-year students report to the gymnasium for a short informational speech. At this time, we ask parents to say goodbye to their students, as their junior high journey is about to begin. Welcome to Fuwayama Prep!”
~☆~
Maika let out a breath of relief as she emptied the final box of her belongings. Her bed looked as comfortable as can be, the side pressed against the wall covered by the stuffed animals she had picked for her dorm. Looking at her bedside alarm clock, Maika sighed. It was nearing noon. There was so much of the day left! 
“No roommate until Tuesday and nobody to hang out with. What's a girl to do?” She wondered. Her room was as ready as it could be without a second inhabitant, and most other dorms were still filled with the chatter of excited students. Maybe she could simply stay in and draw, or reread her favorite manga; but it would be the third time this week. She could look for a new book, but didn't get to see where the Fuwayama public library was. Were there any other options?
Suddenly, Maika lit up. She snapped her fingers in excitement. “I’ve got it! The school library!”
~☆~
“This place looks huge! I’m over the moon!” 
From her position outside the building, Maika could see through ceiling height windows just how impressive the Fuwayama Prep library was. There were cushions and couches in every corner. In the back of the room, far from the windows, a row of computers were barely visible. She couldn’t see the full catalog, but the shelves her bright green eyes scanned over were bigger than any there she’d ever seen!
Colorful sneakers marched towards the door. Maika already knew this wonderful place would become her best friend.
A soft voice piped up as a hand was laid on the door. “The library isn’t open, you know.”
The illusion broke. What was once an inviting opportunity became a dead end just like that. “What? But the students are here! Don’t we need the library?” Maika turned around to face a slightly taller girl with dull pink hair and a kind smile.
“Yes, but the school year doesn’t truly start until tomorrow. The only staff on campus are the ones running move-in day and orientation.” The girl, clearly an upperclassman, gave her junior an encouraging pat on the head. “No worries, though! As soon as classes start, you have almost unlimited access.” 
Maika’s frown lifted slightly. She wouldn’t have to wait too long then. Maybe she could walk around the city, surely there are some interesting shops nearby.
Bowing, she quickly thanked her senpai for the information. “It’s such a nice library. I can’t wait to see it all!” With a new plan in mind, Maika stepped back and moved her gaze to the campus entrance. Just beyond the opened gates was a brand-new adventure named Fuwayama City!
“I hope you like it here. Fuwayama is a wonderful place filled with surprises. I hope to see you around!” The pink haired upperclassman chuckled at her kouhai’s visible excitement. 
Maika bowed once more, noticeably quicker. “Thank you so much, senpai! I can’t wait to meet again.”
With a spring in her step and no particular goal, she rushed into the city. Who knew what magic awaited!
~☆~
Strolling through a city by yourself is a strange experience. Maika had only recently started staying home alone and building a sense of independence. She knew Fuwayama wasn’t dangerous, but a small part of her longed for her mother’s reassuring touch to remind her that she was safe. 
Pink sneaker-clad feet led the girl to a nearby shopping strip. Many of the shops she looked into seemed brimming with customers. Shoppers looking through electronics, racks of clothing, merchandise from popular TV shows gave the street a lively energy. Each establishment teemed with laughter and conversation. None of them had that pull, though. The desire for new reading material still occupied Maika’s mind. 
A sigh escaped her mouth as she approached the corner of the sidewalk. Fuwayama Prep was still visible from where the student stood. Since she was still fairly unfamiliar with the area, it was a good idea to stay as close to campus as possible. The hope of finding something near the school to occupy her empty time diminished more and more as the end of the small strip came closer. 
“Hm?” Just as the area was deemed a fluke, her eye caught a glimpse of a small sparkle coming from the last shop’s window display. “Is that a,” Maika stepped closer, “is that a Card-Catcher Sakuya bookmark? I’m over the moon,” she exclaimed! With sparkles in her eyes, she took in the gorgeous display. It was an adorable shade of red and decorated with an image of the titular character. What tied it all together was an adorable charm of Sakuya’s magical companion at the end of the attached tassel. Even as a Sakuya superfan, Maika had never seen this product before, despite thinking she discovered them all. 
A newfound determination washed over her and compelled Maika to look up at the shop’s name. “Mahou Monogatari? I’ve never heard of it. Is this a local store? One with local employees and local products? Maybe even local customers who are,” she paused as an excited smile spread across her face, “local Sakuya fans?” 
She raced into the establishment without another thought. To her delight, it was devoid of boisterous shop goers, being perused only by a pair of young women and a young father holding his child on his hip.
“Why, hello there, dear.” A kind voice sounded from a checkout counter on Maika’s right. She turned her gaze to the source of the greeting and was met with a familiar pair of eyes. Only once had she met someone with irises whose red rivaled that of a ruby’s. The memory was hazy yet comforting. 
The woman standing behind the counter chuckled and moved towards the entrance where her potential customer stood. The gentle thuds of a rubber-bottomed cane accompanied the clicking of her low-heeled boots. “I know my shop is one of wonders, but never before has it left someone speechless. I’m only slightly concerned—mostly impressed. With myself, of course.” She joked. A worldly hand moved cautiously to Maika’s upper back. She accepted the guiding hand and walked with the store’s owner to a small seating area beside the checkout counter.
After taking a seat in the most comfortable chair she’d ever had the pleasure of resting in, the questions that had been held back finally came out. Although they were being asked at a near lightning fast pace, the subject of said inquiries seemed to take in every word without fault. 
“Do you know Card-Catcher Sakuya? Did you make that bookmark in the window, or was it someone else? Was it made by someone my age? If it was you then that’s totally awesome because I’ve never heard anyone older than my parents even mention that series! Not that you’re old because most people take that as an insult. Not my grandmother, though she takes pride in it, but not everyone's the same and I just met you. Wait, no, I just met you and then I called you old! I didn't mean to insult you, I swear. It’s just so exciting because if somebody my age made that bookmark, then maybe we could be friends. I just moved here into the school dorms down the street and I really suck at making friends because I talk so much just like I am now! I’m so sorry, I’m talking way too much. Can I just buy the bookmark and leave, so there’s no need to—” Maika’s overflow of words were caught off by loud laughter? She looked at the source and realized it was the store owner, while simultaneously realizing she must have started looking at everything but her conversation partner in her nervous ramble. 
The woman wiped a few joy-induced tears from her eyes. She took a moment to regain herself and removed the reading glasses that sat upon her nose. Finally, she leaned back into the cushioned back of her seat. “I like you, dear. I’ve never seen this much energy and passion in one so young. May I ask for the name of such a charming young girl?” 
Maika froze in embarrassment as her cheeks were covered in a red blush. She looked down at her fingers, playing with them to keep her focus. “I’m Mochizuki Maika. I just moved into the Fuwayama Prep dormitories. I’m a first year student, so I don’t know a lot about this place yet.” Her wire-framed glasses slid down slightly. She didn’t bother to push them up
“You’re in luck if you found this place then!” The dad she noticed when entering the store spoke up as he walked to the checkout counter. His baby had fallen asleep and was now strapped into a carrier against his chest. The pair of girls had since left. “Ms. Yumeno’s store is the perfect place for book lovers like us. My older daughter had her fifth birthday party here. No one can beat Mahou Monogatori!” 
Rising from her chair, the owner—Ms. Yumeno—grabbed her glasses and walked over to verify the man’s purchase. “You’re far too kind, Mr. Furuya. I don’t know what little Hinako sees in this old coot. I’m not interesting in the slightest! Unlike this young lady.” Surprisingly nimble fingers made quick work of the checkout. Before bagging the books, she reached under the desk and pulled out a small lollipop. “Although, I think it’s fair to assume my stash of candy has put me on her good side.”
After the father gathered his bag and slipped the sugary treat inside, he waved goodbye to Yumeno and Maika. “You seem like a wonderful girl, I hope Fuwayama treats you well.” The bell above the entrance jingled lightly as he made his exit. 
“You two are so nice.” The student’s voice regained the wonder it had lacked minutes earlier. From her seat, she watched as Ms. Yumeno made her way to the recently shut door. “I love it here already! I was so scared city people would be mean, but everyone I’ve met so far has been amazing.” She looked at her potential new friend with endless admiration.
Said potential friend looked at the clock hanging above a nearby shelf and then back to her energetic visitor. “Well, I could say the same about you. Would you care for some lunch? It’s about time I close up shop for my break.”
Maika knew it was often unwise to get so comfortable so quickly, but she felt safe and welcome around this kind figure. She nodded enthusiastically, eager to eat with and learn more about Ms. Yumeno. Besides, the less money spent on buying lunch, the more she could spend at her new favorite place!
A small sound drew her attention to the checkout area. She tried to get a good look at the source, but a glimpse of pink was all she could take in before being drawn back into a conversation with her fascinating new friend.
~☆~
“Goodness, look at the time!” Maika startled as her lunch partner stood up halfway through her talk on their meal’s recipe. “We’re lucky no customers showed up. It’s 15 minutes past lunch!”
Yumeno moved to her shop’s front door while mumbling to herself. When the woman grabbed the open/closed sign and flipped it to indicate the end of break time, she sighed and looked back at her guest. The red-haired girl approached the front desk with a curious look. If her hearing had still been that of a spry young adult, she would have noticed the buzz sounding from under the counter. 
The device—a pink tablet upon closer look—was lit up despite seeming in disrepair. “Ms. Yumeno, I think someone is calling you?” Maika said, hesitant to reach under the top and retrieve the gadget. Why would the shopkeeper have such an odd looking thing? It looked broken and even dangerous, with small sparks appearing occasionally. “Though this doesn’t look like it could take those.” She said to herself, wonder clear in her expression. 
With a surprisingly swift gait for a woman of Yumeno’s age, her aged form made its way to the desk and grabbed the device. Youthful hands lifted to stop her in fear of the sparks hurting her. Strangely, the sporadic sparks did nothing and seemed to even swirl around the grip holding the tablet. That was not normal, but it was pretty in a way. They almost sparkled and added a shine to the weathered fingers around which they swirled.
“This old thing? A call? You crack me up, dear! It’s nothing but a past toy of mine. I hoped to give it to Mr. Furuya when he stopped by but forgot. I swear, my old lady brain would be lost if it wasn't trapped in my noggin.” Ms. Yumeno placed it on the countertop, the lit screen and sparks having disappeared. 
Maika’s overactive brain highly doubted that statement, hoping for a more fanciful answer. “That thing must have been well-loved because it’s super worn down!” She stepped forward to get a closer look. “What does it d—” 
Yumeno tensed suddenly as an almost inaudible laugh reached her ears. She seemed to recognize the tiny sound, as her face contorted into one of horror and hands clenched into tight fists. Ruby eyes darted towards the district’s park area a block away. She seemed unfocused, alarmed. 
“Ms. Yumeno, are you okay?” Maika worried over her friend. She tried to place a comforting hand on the woman’s shoulder but flinched as her object of concern whipped around to look at her with a serious face. 
Weathered hands gripped the startled guest’s arms. “Ms. Mochizuki, I need to go check on something very important. Please stay inside the shop. Flip the sign, so nobody comes in and if you hear anything suspicious, hide in my office. It’s the safest room in my building.” Yumeno stepped back and almost immediately made her exit, quickly disappearing as she rushed towards the area she had been staring at moments before. 
~☆~
Stunned, Maika took a moment to reorient herself. Only minutes ago she had been on cloud nine talking with an amazing new friend, and now she felt more on edge than she ever had, the instructions given implying there was an imminent danger approaching.
With slightly unsteady steps, she completed her given tasks. After flipping the sign to say ‘CLOSED’ her hands hesitated. She said to herself, “should I lock the door,” as her thoughts spiraled.
Yumeno had left her lanyard with the shop keys on the counter beside the mysterious tablet. If the door was locked, she wouldn’t be able to enter in the event she needed to return. Besides, she hadn’t given the order to lock up. 
Maika’s thoughts were halted when a ‘BOOM’ sounded in the distance. Her fight or flight kicked in as she rushed to grab the keys on the counter, her panic keeping her from noticing the pink device’s screen, which had lit up once more. 
Just as she picked out the shop key, the sparks from earlier returned at full force and began swirling around their source. They held a renewed power which shook the tablet and brought attention to a…voice?
“What?” The word slipped from Maika’s mouth as her body tingled with adrenaline. 
“It’s working! Hurry, Twyla!” That high-pitched sound grew louder as the device’s screen grew brighter. 
The curious girl stepped forward to look at the phenomenon, but just as she leaned over it—
“OW!”
A flash of blue and a direct hit to her forehead made Maika stumble to the floor. “Eiko! Yumeno Eiko, we need your help~hoo! It’s Nighty!” A small owl-like creature fell to the floor just as their accidental target. “Queen Chiharu has fallen and Nocturna has taken over! You must help—wait, you’re not Yumeno.”
Green eyes meet a tiny yet powerful glare coming from the talking bird. She stared at them in awe as a slightly bigger sheep-like creature floated down from the counter where the forgotten device lay. “I’m not Yumeno. I’m Maika, and you two are fairies, like from Cardcatcher Sakuya!” All worries disappeared when her words announced the realization. Was this happening? It all made sense! That tablet, these fairies, and possibly even Yumeno, were magical. 
“Technically yes, but that doesn’t matter~hoo! An elderly woman with a beaded necklace and cane; have you seen her~hoo?” The owl, Nighty, asked. The sheep that now stood beside their partner looked at Maika quizzically. 
Ignoring the somewhat unnerving stare from the pink lamb, she answered, “yes! I was with Ms. Yumeno before she ran outside. She looked scared. Do you think there’s trouble there?”
The pink lamb suddenly lit up after silently analyzing the new face. “Papa! We found her~twi! She’s a—“
Nighty shot up into the air and gestured for his daughter to follow. “Yes~hoo! Come on, Twyla. The Dream Eater General could already be here!” He dashed to the door and tried to push it open, with the winged sheep flying closely behind. 
Maika followed and took over for the owl. When the three finally made it outside, she paid no mind to the silence of the streets and the unconscious bodies of customers laying across the area. She ran after the flying duo, who seemed to know where Ms. Yumeno was. 
Panting, she let more questions slip. “Does this mean I can be a magical warrior? Because now that I know you exist, I’m the only option, right? I’m able-bodied but have terrible stamina, so maybe we could train!” Time for questioning ran out when, after turning the corner to a secluded area in the park, the trio was met with an alarming sight. 
Yumeno kneeled on the ground with her cane holding most of her weight. She huffed, glaring at a checker-clad girl who wore a smile that oozed mischief. 
“Admit it, Grandma. You’re no match for the Dream Eaters. We’ve already won. Finding the Precure and destroying them is merely a precaution.” Her haughty voice taunted. She reached her hand out and pointed directly at the center of her target’s forehead. 
Maika leapt forward and yelled, “WAIT,” at the lavender-haired attacker. 
Her adversary aimed an annoyed look at the disruption for a moment before smirking. “Sorry kid, you’re too late. Ran-Ran’s gotta show Grandma what happens when you anger Queen Nocturna.” The finger pointed at Yumeno summoned a small golden star and shot it before anyone else could interfere. 
Yumeno and Maika stared at each other in shock. “Ms. Mochizuki! Run!” were the final words spoken before the star, hovering in front of the target, summoned a coffin-esc glass case to trap its victim.
“No.” Nighty yelled. The star shot out from the front of the case, hitting the ground with an impact strong enough to knock the on-lookers a few steps back. 
From the ground, a shadow rose and solidified. After gaining shape and color, Maika realized the creature had taken the form of the bookshop! A single red light shone from the top window and looked down at the trio. It took a step forward and let out a mighty cry, “OSOROSHII!” 
Ran-Ran cheered and jumped into the air, hovering beside the case holding Yumeno. “Now that’s some mighty Yumeki. We were smart to choose this place. Right, Nighty?”
The blue owl growled as his daughter hid behind a surprised Maika. “You have no right, Ran-Ran! Yumeki is not yours to steal~hoo!” His shouting stopped abruptly as the monster—Osoroshii—lifted a fist and brought it down where its new targets stood. 
“Papa! We have to hide~twi!” Twyla cried, forcing her father and their ally to hide in a nearby wooded area. 
The girl sat down with wide eyes. She squeezed her hands together over and over in order to calm herself. This was real, but it was nothing like she imagined. Her fuzzy friend nuzzled into the pink flower decorating her sweater, over her pounding heart. “T-This is crazy, ri-right? Th-that thing is so… so big! We ca-an’t stop it”
Nighty peeked out from behind the large tree they laid against. Ran-Ran and the Osoroshii had lost them, but not for long. “We can’t fight back. Where are the Pretty Cure~hoo? At least one should’ve shown up by now, but all the clocks are still with us~hoo. Why haven’t they awoken yet?” He mumbled at a rapid pace. 
The questions floating in the air lit a spark in Twyla’s eyes. She separated herself from Maika and grabbed the bag that rested between her wings. The clasp opened and moments later she pulled out a blue clock with a small pink charm. “There is a Pretty Cure right here~twi! It’s you, I know it~twi!” the fancy trinkets were pushed into pale hands. Nighty’s beak dropped open in surprise.
“Me? Pretty Cure? Is that like a superhero?” her starstruck daze interrupted as the ground below them shook. 
The tree they hid behind was suddenly bent to the side, the Osoroshii's gloved hand pushing the bulky trunk with ease. 
“Found Ya!” Ran-Ran snickered. 
They screamed and made a run for it, sprinting through the trees to reach the open field. The monster and commander were hot on their trail, and Twyla struggled to keep up. She faltered for a moment when the Osoroshii reached out to grab at her. 
Maika glanced to her side, only to see her ally about to be swept up by the threatening creature. “No!” She cried and dove to wrap her arms around the lamb. She narrowly escaped with Twyla and continued forward to run away from their attacker. 
“Are you okay?” Her words came out in short pants as she checked on her companion. 
The pink lamb seemed shaken but thankfully unharmed. She nodded. “You saved me~twi!” Her voice was filled with admiration for her rescuer.
Maika gave an exhausted smile. “I couldn’t leave you with that monster,” she responded, “Ms. Yumeno is counting on us, so we aren’t going to give in!” The vigor with which she spoke reflected in her quickening pace, which kept strong even when the clock in her firm grip gave a small shake.
She felt a strange energy shoot through her. Twyla must have felt it as well, perking up and saying, “Maika! The Clock, you woke it up!” 
Nighty reached the duo and spoke excitedly. “This is it~hoo! When it lights up, place the charm at the center of your Cure Clock and say, ‘Pretty Cure! Dreamy Switch On!’ The clock will ring, and you’ll transform~hoo.”
Twyla flew from Maika’s grasp, allowing her tense hands to lift the glowing charm that now emanated a bright pink.
A cackle sounded from just above them. “Finally! You are a pain to catch. I’m getting bored, so let’s finish up!” Ran-Ran and her Osoroshii towered over the three. On command, the monster swiped at the trio, knocking Maika onto the ground and grabbing both fairies. 
“NO!” Even from her place on the ground, the pained cries of her allies were clear as day. Her sneakers shakily planted themselves on the ground as she rose with a renewed strength. “I won’t let you hurt them!” She yelled. “I can do this, because no matter how scary…” Her hands clenched the shining objects. With determination filling her being, Maika placed the Charm at her Clock’s center.
“I will protect my friends! Pretty Cure! Dreamy Switch On!”
~☆~
A melodic ring sounded as sparkles exploded from the clock, covering Maika in a pink glow. Her normal attire was replaced with a garment of silk fluorescent fabric. The world had become nothing more than an endless colorful space with lights decorating every corner. 
The source of magic attached itself to the center of her chest. A pink ribbon and collar popped out from under it, and suddenly the dress molded into a puffy pink costume. Around her waist was an over skirt made entirely of the softest fluff. She twirled around and extended both arms. Small shooting stars latched onto each wrist and her neck; exploding with a colorful burst as they became a pair of short gloves and purple choker decorated with a single charm at the center. 
Spotting a star much larger than the previous three, Maika jumped into the air and grabbed it. She bounced onto a nearby cloud and brought it to her head. As she leapt onto another cloud, the star burst just as its predecessors. It became a decorated headband in the shape of a sleep mask, the magic spreading over her hair as it grew longer and styled itself into a fluffy bob with twin buns and long low ponytail. 
With her hair now the color of gold, Maika made one final leap down a swirling tunnel of magic. The mystical glow crawled up her legs and stopped inches below her skirt. Falling onto the final cloud solidified the energy into thigh-high boots decorated by ribbons and a star charm each.
She dove through the space as a trail of magic followed behind, as if she was the personification of a shooting star. A platform appeared beneath her to catch the heels of her newly acquired form. She landed gracefully, her presence causing the entire surrounding area to become a gradient of pinks and purples. 
“Full of fantasy and endless dreams!” Newly gloved hands clapped together as she gave one final spin and struck a pose, her finger pointing directly to the sky.
“Up and at it, Cure Reverie!”
~☆~
Where a bespectacled girl once rested, Cure Reverie stood proudly. The Clock at the center of her chest’s ribbon shone brightly as if to announce her arrival. 
It only took Reverie a moment to break from her stance to marvel at her dazzling new appearance. She squealed and touched the plush over skirt as well as her fluffy golden hair. “This outfit is too cute! It looks like a real magical warrior’s!” 
Ran-Ran yelled in surprise and anger, which caught her transformed rival’s attention. “A Pretty Cure already? I swear, you love being a thorn in my side!”
The Osoroshii took a step forward on command to try to squish Reverie, who cried out and jumped much higher than her normal self ever could. She found herself floating high above the ground. Small translucent wings hovered beside each ankle while in the air, keeping the girl afloat. 
“If I’m dreaming, don’t wake me up!” She cheered and propelled herself downwards, letting out a mighty cry as her eyes locked onto the Osoroshii holding her allies captive.
The monster looked up just as Reverie reached her target, striking it with enough force to make the ground rumble slightly. Twyla and Nighty flew free of the monstrous grip. They took cover as quickly as they could, admiring the confidence with which Cure Reverie fought. 
She flipped away from the Osoroshii as soon as her punch landed. She landed softly on the grass and looked up at the Ran-Ran, who stared at the girl in shock. A gloved finger and determined eyes pointed up at the monster’s creator, “I’ll fight as hard as I can! I won’t let you win!”
From her place beside Yumeno’s slumbering form, her attacker’s eyes lit up in fury. “We can’t let this Pretty Cure beat us. Osoroshii, get rid of her—NOW!” Ran-Ran screeched. 
A large fist shot out to strike Reverie, only to be stopped by her launching forward with a roar and halting the punch with her palms. The strength of the impact shook the area between them as both forces tried as hard as they could to overpower their adversary.
“I’ll protect my new home!” The pink-clad hero shouted as the Osoroshii gained a slight upper hand, being able to push her back a few inches. Even as her heels dug into the grass behind her, Cure Reverie stood her ground. “I won’t let you hurt anyone!” She declared.
 Before anyone could blink, the monster was flung backwards. “OSOROSHII!” It bellowed as it skidded across the field and came to a stop. Ran-Ran blinked from her captive’s side to hover above the shoulder of her monster. “I thought I said to get rid of her! Quit dragging this out and destroy that Precure!” She growled with malice. 
In a rapid response, the Osoroshii charged forward. Its deep shouts grew in volume as it started to release a series of swings to catch Reverie, who moved as fast as she could. She barely kept up, jumping and bending on reflex to narrowly avoid the flying fists. 
“AH!” A high scream rang out as the Osoroshii at last landed a hit, and a pink blur flew backward and crashed onto the ground. When the impact’s dust cleared, Reverie rose shakily to her feet. 
Twyla shouted in concern. “The monster can be purified, Cure Reverie! Your Clock will stop it~twi! You can do this~twi!” The two fairies moved forward as if to take the fight on themselves, but were stopped by their warrior holding out her hand. She glanced back and sent a bright smile. 
“Mhm! I don’t know why I was chosen, but being unsure won’t stop me,” She turned her eyes back to the monster, “I’m still going to give it my all!” With a final burst of energy, she sprinted forward, facing the approaching monster head on. It thrust a final punch towards her, but just as it was about to hit, her blonde hair ducked out of sight. 
Reverie slid under the Osoroshii’s form with momentum that carried her through one final strike. She delivered a powerful kick which knocked her foe to the ground one last time. 
When her target went down, the Cure Clock began to glow. She moved the wing-shaped hands through a full rotation and tapped the PreCharm at her clock’s center.
Reverie slapped her hands together. When she brought them apart, stars the size of a scholarly tome followed each hand. “Pretty Cure!” She spun around herself with extended arms; a trail of stars forming a ring around her figure. 
The ring of stars rose in tandem with her right hand and moved to hover vertically in front of her.  “Reverie,” she shot her hand forward with a raised thumb and pointer finger, “Revolution!” Her outstretched hand struck a space in the dead center of the circle, causing the ring of stars to shoot across the field with a ‘BANG’ and engulf the Osoroshii in a pink glow. 
The monster’s red light slowly disappeared, as if it were an eye closing. “Good Night!” It said groggily before it vanished in a flash.
Ran-Ran pulled at her fluffy ponytail in annoyance. “You brat!” She yelled and crossed her arms. “Looks like the Pretty Cure are going to be much more of a nuisance than we thought,” she growled through clenched teeth. 
The glass casket broke from her control and descended to meet Reverie. Ran-Ran scoffed and made to escape, vanishing with a puff of purple smoke.  
“Ms. Yumeno!” Reverie cried. She stopped in front of the glass and saw a peaceful expression on her friend’s face.
Nighty and Twyla rushed over to stand beside the pink-clad Cure and sighed in relief when they saw no harm had come to the Osoroshii’s victim. 
Reverie brought her hand up and noticed that her pointer finger had begun to glow softly. With a cheerful “Wakey, wakey,” her rescuer and tap to the tinted surface, Yumeno was freed.
Red eyes opened as she was gently laid on the grass. When the figures above her came into focus, Ms. Yumeno gave a tired chuckle. 
“Boy, do we have a lot to talk about.”
~☆~
“Ms. Mochizuki, I don’t think you realize how dangerous this task is. Pretty Cure must fight for the good of everyone. Are you sure you can handle such a heavy burden?” Yumeno asked. The two humans and pair of fairies sat on a bench not far from where Ran-Ran had appeared. 
Maika held Twyla in her lap, stroking her soft wool when she responded. “I’m positive. It might be dangerous, but I know I can handle it. Even if I fall, I know I’ll be in good hands.” She gave her friends a warm smile and went back to petting the lamb fairy.
Nighty spoke enthusiastically. “She can handle it, Eiko! The Pretty Cure are legendary warriors meant to handle anything~hoo. This girl has proven that not only is she meant to be a Precure, but now we have a fighting chance~hoo!” The blue owl boasted about the strength he had witnessed Cure Reverie fight with. He seemed to know Ms. Yumeno quite well, especially considering his lack of formality with her. 
Twyla nodded in agreement. “MaiMai is amazing! I know she can help save Sweet Dream Kingdom~twi!” The subject of her adoration nuzzled her fuzzy head as thanks for the encouraging comment.
“Since I could talk, I’ve wished to become a hero like the characters in my books.” Maika began. She wore a soft smile and looked up at the sky. “I was told it’d never happen, but today has proven otherwise. I’ll fight for you with all I've got.” 
Ms. Yumeno placed her hand over Maika’s and gave it a reassuring squeeze. “I knew you were a special girl. We’re eternally grateful, dear.” She then took hold of her cane and stood up, giving the girl sitting below her a proud look. “Now, Ms. Mochizuki, let’s get to work. Are you ready?”
The soft smile gracing Maika’s face grew into a beam brighter than the stars. With the afternoon sun shining down on her, she nodded in response. 
“I’m over the moon!”
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havecourage-darling · 2 years
Text
Right Side Up // 1
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Princess Peach Series
|| Masterlist || AO3 || Chapter two: If I only could >>
Pairing: Eddie Munson x Female Henderson!Reader
wc: ~5.8k
warnings: cursing, mild smut, S4 spoilers, angst with a happy ending
A/N: Hello everyone! So, here she iiiiis - I've had a lot of people ask if I'd be writing a S4 follow along and ta-da! (There should be 6 chapters total.) I'm keeping it in the Princess Peach world, meaning the reader is a Henderson. If you have not read any of the other installments in this series, I personally think you'd still enjoy this but you might be a little confused. Being totally up front, this is absolutely a fix-it fic, Eddie did not die and I have no idea what you're talking about canon, okay cool. Now that we're all on the same paaage...
Chapter One: If I only could
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“Are you the prettiest baby in the whole world?” You asked the wide brown-eyed stare focused on you. “Who’s the bestest boy? Oh, yes, it’s you!”
“If you keep that up, I’m going to get jealous,” Eddie said from his trailer door. You ignored him and Frank – Eddie’s neighbor’s dog who stayed over occasionally – went belly up. His muzzle was now littered with white hair but his waggling tail and endearingly excited pants made your heart melt.
“Oh, you’re so handsome, what a good boy,” you cooed, fingers scratching at his pink stomach. One of his little legs twitched happily as your nails caught the right spot.
Eddie’s mouth twisted into something achingly familiar and his eyes glinted. “That’s what you say to me when you lick my-”
“Edward!”
A flash of your events this morning crossed your mind and Eddie smirked. “And I’m the pervert?” He said knowingly.
You shot him a glare, one that he knew you meant: behave.
Eddie’s laughter floated over to you and you rolled your eyes, pulling Frank into your lap. You laid down, sprawled onto a blanket that you kept in Eddie’s van, and bathed in the first warm sunny day in a while. The wind still had a bite to it at night but the afternoon sun was just enough to lull you into a nap.
“So,” Eddie said, settling down next to you, with two glasses of water. You gratefully took one and drank half in one go. “Spring break is soon.”
And it couldn’t come soon enough. You’d been swamped with papers and last-minute homework assignments for the entire week. Submitting your last paper tonight would be the last thing you’d have to do before being blissfully worry free for the entire week to come.
“Thank God,” you muttered, “I don’t want to look at a goddamn economics book again.”
No matter how much Sienna promised you that you’d eventually get it – econ was something dragged up from the seventh layer of hell.
“Spring break is only a week sweetheart. You’ve still got half a semester to go.”
“Never. Again,” you said, pushing out your bottom lip. As predicted, Eddie swooped in and kissed you. Smiling into it, he kissed you once more before leaning back. His hand came down to rub Frank’s velvety ear.
“So, how about we go somewhere for our anniversary?”
“This far in advance?” You asked, looking up at him and shrugging. “I guess we could make reservations for September now.”
“What?” Eddie blinked at you, confused. “Our six-month anniversary, Peach.”
The warm breeze hit the trees behind you, the leaves creating a glittering cascade of sunbeams as they shook. Eddie’s hair fluttered over his shoulders and you got the urge to curl a finger around a strand.
“Next week?” You asked, attention coming back to him. “Do you want to do something special?”
“Well, you just seem so excited,” Eddie said, pretending to be hurt.
Laughing, you leaned forward to kiss his cheek in mock apology. “I’m so sorry, wonderful boyfriend of mine, of course I’d like to do something with you.”
“That sounded better but you could still work on the delivery,” Eddie retorted, “it sounded a little sarcastic.”
Raising a brow, Eddie tried to fight his smile but you saw it anyway. “What are we doing?”
“More like where are we going?”
Perking up, you placed Frank onto the ground between you and crossed your legs. “Eddie.”
“Princess,” he said, his goddamn smug smile making your stomach flip in excitement.
Plucking some of the blades of grass from the ground you chucked them at him. “Where are we going?”
Eddie shot you a look as he pulled them out of his hair. “Gareth’s uncle has a cabin in the woods a few towns over, by that big lake,” Eddie snapped his fingers as if he’d forgotten the name.
“Lake Monroe?” You squeaked, having always wanted to go there. Nancy and Mike had gone like four summers ago and it was beautiful. She swore you’d love it, the hiking trails looked amazing.
“That’s the one,” Eddie smiled at your excited bounces, “his uncle is loaded and has some big house by the lake. It’s got like three floors and a pool.”
Holy shit, you don’t think you’d ever been in a house that big.
“Eddie, don’t mess with me,” you said, pressing your hands together.
“I would never sweetheart,” he said, leaning in for a kiss. “Gareth says he’s in Europe or something for work. I already talked to Keith and for a very humble exchange he agreed to give you Sunday through Thursday off.”
What? Eddie had talked to Keith for you? Shit – sometimes even you were afraid of Keith and you were probably his favorite. Well…his least hated.
“You braved Keith for me?” You asked, touched.
Eddie snorted. “Once I showed him how much I was willing to bargain for, he accepted pretty easily,” he said.
“Still,” you insisted, he’d been planning this for some time if everything seemed set in stone. “I can’t believe you did that for me.”
“What can I say?” Eddie said, buffing his nails and grinning at you. “I’ll do anything for my warrior princess.”
“My hero,” you swooned, throwing your arms around him and squeaking when he fell onto his back, “if this is what you’re planning for six months, what’s a year going to look like?”
“I’ll get you a flight to the moon,” Eddie joked. “Fleetwood Mac will be there with some pizza ready for a private concert.”
“Would we be alone?” You asked, realizing you weren’t sure if any of your friends were invited.
“On the moon? I’d hope so.”
You smacked his shoulder. “At the lake, dork.”
Eddie’s brows wiggled. “Can’t wait to have your way with me huh? Don’t worry, the house is on directly on the lake and the nearest neighbors are like three miles down the road. You can scream all you want and no one will hear us,” he said, nipping at the underside of your jaw.
“That’s not what I meant,” you said, pinching his side.
He jumped and shot you a glare. “Why is it always violence with you?”
“You love it,” you said, squeezing his shoulder three times – the words left unsaid. Eddie’s playful glare softened into something familiar, something he’d shown you since the first month you’d started dating. Sometimes you thought you’d explode with how much you loved him. The way your heart sped up when you were with him was ridiculous and probably unhealthy.
Eddie’s eyes trailed down your face, his hand coming up from your waist to cradle your cheek. His thumb brushed against your bottom lip and you nipped at the pad. His eyes darkened and you saw the words reflected back at you. Heart singing, you let him pull you down into a slow kiss.
“Yeah,” he said, lips tracing what he couldn’t say onto your skin, “I do.”
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This was the first and last time you offered to swap early morning shifts with Keith. You groaned as you started sorting through the returns.
“Remind me why we said yes to a Thursday morning shift?” You called out to Steve, who was half asleep next to the computer.
Well, you knew Keith had you where he wanted you – at his beck and call until your last shift on Saturday. He’d been sure to let you know he’d graciously allowed the time off on short notice because of your strong work ethic. Robin had laughed so hard he’d heard from his office.
“Because we’re money hungry, Keith sucks, and Robin has school,” he groaned, rubbing sleep from one of his eyes. “I will give you all the money from my next paycheck if you go across the street and get us coffees.”
You snorted so hard you almost choked. “Tough sell Harrington. You’re closer to the door.”
“You’re the better person,” Steve huffed.
“I am,” you agreed, laughing when he shot you a look. “Uh, Steve?”
“What?” He said, voice muffled as he hid his face into his elbow.
“Is that cheerleader walking towards us Chrissy Cunningham or am I hallucinating without the caffeine in my bloodstream?”
Steve sat up, squinted, and turned towards the windows. “Oh shit, it is.”
“Fuck, do you see Carver around? He’s just like fucking Tommy,” you hissed, hating the little spark of panic you felt in your stomach. It was too early to start a fight.
“No, she’s alone, oh shit – she’s really coming this way,” Steve said scrambling up and trying to look like you both weren’t just gawking at her.
The bell above the door rang as she pushed it open, a bright smile erupting on her face. Her eyes were wide and you couldn’t help but smile back at her.
“Hi,” you said stupidly.
“Hi! Good morning!” She grinned, waving at a stunned Steve. You kicked him under the counter and he grunted.
“Hey,” he said. You shot him a look – smooth, Harrington.
“Can I help you find something?” You asked, a little thrown by her sunshine energy. Something…felt off about her. Trying your best to look nonchalant, you took in her jittering leg and wringing hands.
Chrissy’s face turned a fascinating beet red and you glanced at Steve who shrugged. “Um, I was actually looking for Eddie,” she mumbled, eyes widening even further.
“Oh,” you blinked, “well, um, he’s not here? He’s probably just waking up to be honest. He doesn’t really hang around here during the mornings. I haven’t seen him since yesterday afternoon.”
Her eyes shifted and you felt a surge of possessiveness.
“He’s my boyfriend so, if you’re here to set up some prank I can assure you that I won’t take kindly to it. I’m not someone you want to piss off either.” You felt Steve come up behind you, his foot nudging yours.
Chrissy’s eyes jerked up to yours and she shook her head earnestly. “I wouldn’t do that, I swear!” She turned her eyes to Steve and he nudged you again. “Really, I promise.”
And for some reason – you believed her.
“Oh, well, he’s um…not here,” you finished lamely. Chrissy scuffed her shoe on the carpet and you winced as an awkward silence settled. Steve cleared his throat after a beat and Chrissy jumped as if she’d been poked. Why did she look so spooked? You glanced at the doors, looking for anyone waiting for her. If you hadn’t been so thrown off, you’d say she looked…scared.
Her eyes darted around the store nervously. “He talks about you a lot, you know? I’ve seen you at the movies with him. You both make a cute couple,” she said, expression shifting to something soft.
“Oh,” you said, scratching at the back of your neck, “thank you.” What the hell did you say to something like that?
She leaned in closely, eyes anxiously on Steve. “I’m, um, looking to buy,” she whispered. You bit back a laugh, not wanting to come off rude but you doubted that Chrissy knew how to even roll a joint. Shit, you barely knew how to roll one.
“I don’t help Eddie out with that side of his business,” you said and you didn’t. Eddie was trying to save up as much as he could for a new apartment, one you had an inkling he was going to ask you to move into eventually. Which, was probably why he was taking so long to save.
You knew he felt embarrassed at being known as the local drug dealer no matter how many times you assured him otherwise. He was waiting for graduation to find a better job - you thought he’d like the record store downtown. Either way, Eddie rarely let you come with him to deliver and even less to stock up again.
“He actually had a gig a town over so that’s probably why you haven’t seen him,” you said. “I’ll tell him to keep an eye out for you. He’ll bring you what he has tomorrow.”
“Thank you so much,” she said, looking desperate and relieved. With another curious glance, you realized that she actually screamed of exhaustion, like she hadn’t slept in weeks.  
“Are you okay?” You asked her, throwing it out there. Chrissy looked startled and she, once again, looked nervously around the store.
“Yeah, totally, I just really need something,” she said, cheeks pink. “Thank you for helping.”
Before you could say anything else, she all but ran out the doors.
“Well, that was weird,” you said after a beat of silence.
Steve laughed, dropping his head back into his arms. “Everyone gets stressed in the last final months before graduation,” he said, eyes closing, “you almost choked me out when I spilled my soda over your textbook.”
“I had a final the next day!”
“I barely got the cover wet!” He retorted.
You rolled your eyes and chucked a paperclip at his head. “The cover is important too!”
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The man in question barged in a few hours later, five minutes before your shift ended.
“Lady Henderson,” he called out, smile wide and eyes bright. You grinned, shifting your body towards him and taking in his outfit. He’d worn his favorite black Metallica t-shirt – the one with the tear in the collar - and your smile widened when the memory of Eddie ripping it as he tore it off you a few weeks ago flashed across your memory.
The mischievous glint in his eyes as he kissed your cheek said he knew what you were thinking of.
“Hello,” you said, grabbing his chin and kissing him properly. He made a happy noise that you wanted to sink into and almost jumped when Steve’s groan echoed in the empty store.
“Every time! Do you need to rub salt into the wound guys?” Steve said, huffing. He’d been conned by Robin into staying with her until closing and was cranky about it. Robin, however, looked like she’d won a gold medal.
“Hey Munson,” Robin said, coming out the back with a stack of tapes.
“Lady Buckley,” he greeted, bowing.
Without preamble, you’d grabbed your bag and sweater, already ducking under the counter. “See you guys on Saturday!” You called out, not having a shift tomorrow since you normally had class.
This time, however, Eddie wanted to take you to your favorite Italian restaurant two towns over to celebrate the beginning of spring break and your road trip up. He’d made the reservations earlier yesterday and you could practically taste the garlic bread already.
Intertwining his fingers with yours, Eddie brought your hand up to his lips. “I missed you,” he said.
“I missed you too,” you said, pushing the door open and pulling him towards his van. “Did you tell Wayne about our trip?”
“Yeah,” he said, rolling his eyes and flushing a little. “He loaned me his duffel to take with me.”
“That’s nice?” You said, not sure why he was turning red.
“He’d packed about a month’s worth of condoms,” Eddie said, huffing.
You froze, stopping in front of the van. His eyes were firmly on the door in front of you and you threw your head back in laughter.
“I don’t know why you find this so funny. It’s weird when your family knows you’ve having sex,” Eddie grumbled, opening your door for you and herding you in. You were still chuckling when he hopped in on the other side. “Princess, please.”
“I’m sorry,” you said, hiding behind your hand. “It’s just – so funny how much you hate it.”
“I’m glad my pain brings you pleasure,” he said, smiling. Eddie threw the van into reverse and pulled out the parking lot. The radio blared to life, surprising you, and you turned the volume down a little.
“You know, considering how much you can’t keep it in your pants we’ll probably go through them before we’re back,” you said, batting your eyelashes at him, never one to skip the chance to tease him, “especially considering the bathing suit I’m bringing with me.”
Eddie groaned and you knew that he was picturing you in the suit you’d shown him earlier in the week.
“I remember being worried that if I didn’t tie it hard enough the top slips off,” you said, tapping your chin, “since we’ll be alone it doesn’t seem like that’ll be problem. Right, sweetheart?”
“Princess, I’m driving,” he said, shifting himself.
“You’re too easy,” you smiled, tucking a leg under you.
Shooting you a glare, he sighed. “What movie did you get for us this time?” He asked, voice still a little strained.
“Since your pick last week was horrible, I went for a classic.”
“Not Splash again,” Eddie sighed.
“Hey, it’s dealer’s choice – no complaining! I sat through a Nightmare on Elm Street for you.”
“At least let me grab some beer so I can get through it,” he said.
“Deal,” you said, bumping his fist.
After a pitstop for beer and pizza, you were snuggled into the sofa in a pair of shorts and Eddie’s Hellfire t-shirt within the hour. Pressing play, you watched as Tom Hanks followed Daryl Hannah.
“You know, The Breakfast Club wasn’t as bad as this – and that’s saying something,” Eddie complained, dropping into the couch next to you.
“Ah, ah, no commentary please. Besides, you like romantic comedies!” You said as Eddie pulled your legs onto his lap.
Eddie shot you a look. “I am a man of many genres-” you snorted and he ignored you, “- I simply don’t like this one.”
“Well tough luck,” you said, sinking further into the cushions. You could feel Eddie’s eyes on you as Daryl observed the televisions curiously. “You’re not watching the movie.”
“You’re more interesting,” he said, “did you know that you mouth along to some of the lines?”
“I do not,” you huffed, poking him with your foot. His hand caught your ankle, his fingers dancing across the delicate skin making you tense up. “I know what you’re doing.”
“I’m not doing anything,” he said, innocently glancing up at you.
Yeah, okay, you snorted. “We’re not even halfway through the movie,” you groaned. Eddie’s hand drifted higher towards your bare thigh. “Eddie.”
“Hmm?” He said, pressing a kiss to your knee. A jolt of electricity that always hit you whenever Eddie was around shot through you.
You resisted for a few more minutes, his lips traveling up to your shoulder. While your attention had been slipping, you’d only closed your eyes when he bit down onto the sensitive patch of skin at the base of your neck. “I hate you,” you breathed, your voice hitching when he nudged you onto your back.
“Sure seems like it,” he teased, hair curtaining around you. Legs falling open, as if by habit, Eddie grinned as he settled between them. “Absolutely loathe me, do you?”
“You’re unbearable, you know that? Next week I’m seducing you two seconds into your movie.”
Eddie chuckled into your skin, the rumble of his chest travelling into your own. “Feel free to feel me up whenever you want, princess. I promise you; I won’t fight it.”
“Shut up,” you said, patience snapping. Lifting your hips to press against his, he hissed at the pressure. Before he could say something smug and full of himself, you fisted his hair and brought him down to you. Lips clashing together, you wrapped your legs around his hips and kept him close. Swallowing one of his groans, you tugged on his hair lightly and Eddie froze.
“I feel like the situation has managed to run away from me,” he panted, jumping when you palmed him through his pajamas. “Sweetheart, if you keep doing that this is going to end before the fun really begins.”
Huffing a laugh, you let your hand drift up higher to his side and Eddie’s eyes screwed shut as you bit down onto his neck. “Your sorcery won’t get the best of me,” he said shakily.
“Won’t it?” You smirked, lapping at bite. With a grunt, Eddie managed to capture both your wrists and press them above your head. He grinned, stupidly excited to have caught you off guard, and you couldn’t help but smile back at him. Keeping your arms up, despite his loose hold, you let him take the upper hand.
Daryl, on the television, cried and you caught a flash of blonde that reminded you of something.
"Oh,” you said, Chrissy’s face swimming to the front of your mind. “Cunningham was looking for you." You squirmed as he sucked what would no doubt be a very visible hickey onto your neck.
“Who?” Eddie asked, uninterested, as he focused on nipping your skin. He dropped your wrists to ruck your shirt up above your chest. His hand quickly unhooked your bra, pulling it up, and his warm hand had your breath hitching as he trailed light touches across your bare skin.
“Cheerleader,” you breathed when he licked at the valley between your breasts, hands kneading your skin.
“There’s a lot of them.”
You sighed as his teeth scraped across a particularly sensitive spot. “Blonde, short, bubbly.”
Eddie huffed, breath fanning over your skin and your skin erupted in goosebumps. “Princess, that’s half the squad.”
You sighed, pulling back from his grasp. “She’s Jason’s girlfriend? I think.”
“Sure?” He said, "I'm trying to seduce you over here and you're talking about cheerleaders."
“Don't worry sweetheart, Jason's not my type,” you joked.
Eddie nipped at the swell of your breast in retaliation. "Please don't say another dude's name while we're naked together. I'm sensitive."
"Bossy, bossy," you said, shoving him over so that you were on top. Eddie's arms came to rest behind the back of his head and he grinned at the view. You trailed a hand down his chest, stilling above his buckle. "Look, just..."
Sensing your shifting mood, he propped himself up on his arms and ducked to catch your eyes. "What? What's wrong?"
“She looked desperate, scared? I don't know," you said, trying to remember her expression. "Just - could you make sure she is…okay? Before selling her anything.”
“Yeah, I’ll take a look,” he assured you, "don't worry."
“Yeah? Thank you," you kissed him, relishing in his immediate reciprocation.
“Can I go back to what I was doing now?” He asked, eyes dropping back to your chest.
Pretending to consider the situation for a beat, you nodded. “Proceed.” Without waiting, you laughed when he surged up and suctioned himself to you.
“Hold on, let me take this off,” you said, starting to pull his shirt over your head.
Eddie’s hand on yours made you go still. “Wait, can you keep it on?” He asked, pupils blown.
You glanced down at his club t-shirt and grinned. “You want to remember this every time you wear it, don’t you?”
“Am I that easy to read?” He asked, shameless.
Kissing him deeply, you smiled into it. “To me? Yeah.” You pulled your bra out from the sleeves and tossed it onto the floor.  
Eddie grinned, ecstatic at your answer, and leaned over the back of the couch to break open the new box of condoms. You let out a surprised burst of laughter and Eddie quirked his brow. “Wanna share with the class?”
“Nothing, just that – Wayne’s gift is being useful already.”
He froze. “Henderson, definitely don’t mention my uncle’s name when I’ve got a condom in my hand,” he groaned, shaking his head, “that’s worse than the first one.”
“Sorry, sorry,” you laughed, not sounding even remotely sorry. Eddie growled, flipping you back over. Out of breath, and astounded that neither of you had tumbled off the sofa, you caught sight of the time. “Hey, it’s officially Friday.”
“Two more days until we’re on the road,” he said, kissing you, “and out of this fucking cursed town, even if it’s just for five days.”
“Gosh,” you said, voice bright, “I wonder what we’ll do for five days? All alone…in a cabin in the woods…”
“I’m sure we’ll entertain ourselves somehow,” Eddie said, hands inching towards the seam between your thighs.
You gasped, heart fluttering when he smiled. “I’m sure we will.”
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“Are you wearing the shirt I had on last night?” You asked, squinting against the sun streaming into his trailer and sipped your coffee.
Eddie glanced down at his chest and smiled. “Guess I am.” He flipped the pancake and slid it onto your overflowing plate. Sleep clung to both of you, making everything fuzzy.
“Why do I feel like that wasn’t an accident?” You asked, drowning your fluffy pile in syrup. “At least wash it first.”
“I resent the implication,” he said, grasping at his imaginary pearls. “How dare you even imply that-”
“-I mean it’s a miracle if that didn’t get dirty after what you did.”
“We did, you mean?” He said, waggling his brows. “I surprise even myself sometimes.”
“Oh, so humble too,” you grinned, giving him a sugary kiss when he bent over your shoulder for one.
“You’re the one who screamed so loud I thought Max’s mom was going to come over and ask if we were okay,” he teased, “was that a new record?”
“Shut up,” you grumbled, hiding your smile behind your mug. You hadn’t been able to walk straight last night and Eddie was being unbearable about it.
Eddie smirked, humming as he placed the pan in the sink. He sank into the seat next to you, curling his ankle around yours. The vinyl table rocked a little when either of you placed your elbows onto it and the sounds of the trailer park waking up snuck its way into your peaceful quiet but to you, these mornings were perfect.
“Hey,” you said, curving your fingers over his wrist. “Do you mind dropping me off before you go in?” You usually slept in and drove yourself home on movie nights.
“Sure,” he said, chewing on a bite, “I can pick you up at eight? The campaign should be done by six. That way we’ll have enough time to make it to the restaurant.”
“I got a new outfit for tonight,” you said, licking a drop of syrup that had trailed down to your wrist, feeling his eyes on you,“I think you’ll like it.”
“Yeah?” Eddie’s eyes darkened and you smirked. “What color is it? How short?”
“Wouldn’t you like to know,” you said, licking the tip of your fork clean.
Without much warning, Eddie grabbed your wrist and dragged you towards his room. You stumbled, taken by surprise, hand reaching for your half-full mug. “Eddie, wait – my coffee’s going to get cold!”
“I’ll brew you a new pot,” he said, pushing you down onto the bed. You bounced once before you watched him rip his pajamas off. “We’ve got thirty minutes before we have to get out of here. Good news? I’m only half dressed.”
“Oh, but I’m the insatiable one,” you snorted, already wiggling out of your shorts.
“It’s that spell of yours,” he said, chasing your lips, “it’s too strong, warrior princess.”
Laughing, you gave into his nudging and wrapped your legs around his waist. “It won’t fall or falter, you know. I make sure it’s ready to weather whatever comes. You’re mine, remember?”
A genuine, small, smile grew on Eddie’s face, the heat in his eyes softening to something deeper – something dear to you.
“Yeah, I remember.”
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It had felt like Eddie had just dropped you off home when the phone rang. Sprawled on your bed, you groaned. Crawling towards your night stand, you barely managed to grab the receiver before it stopped ringing.
“Hello?” You huffed, a little out of breath.
“Mrs. Henderson?” A familiar stern voice called out.
You straightened, eyes widening. “Yes?” You said, clearing your throat to try and imitate your mother’s. “Who is calling?”
“We’re calling from Hawkins High. This is the front office and I’m calling because your son has requested he speak to you urgently.”
“Yes, of course.”
“Hello?”
“What the fuck?” You hissed. “A little warning would be nice. What’d you do this time?”
“Nothing!” He squeaked. “Please, please, please-”
You groaned. “No, Dustin, I had a long night and today’s the first day of spring break. I was going to nap. I haven’t slept more than three hours in a week.”
“Have I ever told you how you’re my favorite? Of all time?”
“Ugh, Dustin.”
“I swear, I’ll owe you for the rest of the year.”
“What? What do you want?”
“I forgot my midterm paper for English on my desk.”
“You want me to bring it to you?”
“Preferably within the next two hours. It’s my last class of the day and like worth half of my grade!”
“Dustin,” you whined, not wanting to move.
“Please?”
“Fine,” you hissed, knowing there’s no way you wouldn’t have done it anyway. “You owe me.”
“Holy shit, thank you!”
“Language!”
And that’s how you found yourself back at Hawkins Highschool, a visitor’s pass stuck to the front of Eddie’s hoodie – that you’d stolen – looking for your little brother like Gollum following the one ring.
“Jesus, where the fuck is he?” You grumbled, checking the time.
Lunch, you realized. Spinning on your heel, you made your way to the cafeteria. Right as you turned into the hallway, a familiar voice shouted your name.
“Buckley!” You grinned, throwing an arm around her. “Skipping out on lunch?”
“More like late to lunch,” she grumbled, wrapping her arm around your waist. “My calculus teacher gave me a few extra minutes on my midterm.”
“Aced it?”
“Listen, Cs get degrees,” Robin snorted, pushing the swinging doors open into the chaos. “What are you doing here? I thought you took the day off to catch up on sleep.”
“Dustin,” you sighed, “forgot his English paper. I’m thinking of making him cook me breakfast every morning until Christmas.”
“Oh, or do your laundry!”
You gave her a high-five. “I like how you think.”
“I’m gonna grab food – Dustybuns is with your boyfriend by the windows, see you tomorrow?” She said, squeezing your arm once before stumbling off towards the questionable food.
Glancing towards the tables on the left-hand side your eyes met Eddie’s. Confused, he straightened and lit up anyway. Looking to see what had caught his eye, Mike followed his stare. Smiling, he nudged Dustin who scrambled to his feet and jogged over to you.
“Oh my God, you’re the fucking best,” he said, snatching the folder from your hands. “I owe you my life.”
“I was thinking laundry for the rest of the year,” you said, wrapping your arm around his shoulders.
“What?” He screeched; gob smacked. “Don’t you think that’s a little far?”
You narrowed your eyes at him and he grumbled. Walking over towards their table, you were suddenly intercepted by a wall of muscle. Jason Carver’s patronizing eyes took you both in.
“Well, if it isn’t my favorite Henderson siblings,” he sneered, quick hands snatching the folder in Dustin’s hands. Your brother squeaked, eyes widening and you sighed. Was there ever going to be an end to this?
Without hesitating, and with speed that would make Max proud, you grabbed the folder back from him. Pushing Dustin a step behind you, you took one towards Jason. “I know it’s been a while since you’ve last seen me, Carver, but if you need a refresher of that sucker punch I gave you before I graduated; I’m happy to do an encore.”
His eyes narrowed and he took another step forward, his chest almost brushing against you. “I don’t remember what you’re referring to, unfortunately,” he hissed.
Eyes flashing, you clenched your hand and Jason’s eyes shifted to them. “You should call your buddy Tommy, see how picking on me and my brother ended up for him,” you said loudly, his friends snorting behind him.
While you hated the confrontation and they’d both taken every opportunity to take jabs at you – you’d learned very early on that you could never roll over. With a swift move forward, Jason flinched minutely but it was enough for you to smirk.
“Catch you later Carver,” you said, grabbing Dustin’s sleeve, and hitting his shoulder with your own as you passed by.
“Holy shit,” Gareth said, eyes wide and excited. “You just almost punched Jason Carver.”
“She just got him to flinch,” Jeff hissed, glancing over at their table. “I forgot how badass you are.”
“I didn’t,” Eddie said, his arms coming to your waist and pulling you firmly into his lap. “Hey warrior princess.”
“Hi,” you said, kissing his temple.
“Ugh, guys, please,” Dustin groaned.
You glared at him and he shrunk. “I suggest you not say anything lest I shred that folder.”
“Holy shit, that was so hot,” Eddie said into your ear. You rolled your eyes and tugged on his shirt.
“I can’t believe you really wore that,” you said.
“It’s the last campaign,” Eddie said, grin mischievous, “what else would I wear?”
“What’s wrong with it?” Mike asked, eyes wandering over Eddie’s regular Hellfire shirt.
Eddie snorted and you sighed. “Nothing,” you said, shaking your head.
“Still smells like you,” he muttered. You reached beneath your leg to pinch his and he jumped. “Now, now, no need to resort to violence.”
“I’ll show you violence,” you grumbled, leaning into his warmth.
The bell rang, a five-minute warning, and like always, everyone in the cafeteria ignored it.
The basketball team stood, however, and a pair of blue eyes burned a hole into your back.
“I should’ve known, the town Freak and Henderson would shack up together,” Jason said as he passed towards the door. A few of his friends chuckled, shooting you looks.
Jesus Christ did these guys not have anything better to do? You’d forgotten how judgmental this town could be. “Do you just like the sound of your own voice?” You snapped back. “The adults are having a conversation sweetie; remedial math is that way.”
Gareth snorted, water coming out his nose and Jeff pounded his back, eyes riveted.
“You just let you girl handle your battles?” Jason called out, trying to have the last word.  
“Uh, yeah, I make a cute damsel in distress,” he said, batting his eyes and everyone at the table laughed. Jason and company scowled and disappeared through the doors.
“See you tonight?” Eddie asked, kissing the edge of your jaw tenderly. You pecked him once before standing up. “Can’t wait to see the infamous outfit.”
Grinning, you walked towards the side exit. “See you,” you said, and with the eyes you felt watching you why not take a page out of Eddie’s book? You blew him an exaggerated kiss, knowing he’d get your point. Eddie pretended to catch it and tumbled backwards off his seat with excessive force. The table laughed, Dustin pretending to gag, and Eddie dusted his shirt off as he stood. He pretended to put in his pocket and smiled at you.
“Behave, children are present,” Eddie said loudly, a fake bashful expression on his face.
You winked, grinning, and disappeared out door. Dinner tonight couldn’t come fast enough.
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Text
Of Molly Houses & Mourning Clothes
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pairing: Marcus Pike x Fem!Reader (victorian au)
word count: 2k
warning: grieving, discussion of death, funeral proceedings, hidden gay relationships due to time period homophobia. Marcus had a secret relationship with your husband but you were aware and accepting of it so not technically infidelity but thats there. 
summary: Marcus promised your husband he would look after you upon his passing. But when the time comes, he struggles with himself to even look you in the eyes.
Authors note: an idea I’ve been tossing around with @thesadvampire​ that i absolutely want to turn into a fully developed story but likely will not have the time to do as such until the end of this semester with how much I have on my plate. But I wanted to write something to get my noggin’ going and the fingers flying. Big thank you to this gal for being my reader, my editor, and my inspiration. Love you mars <3
tagging those I think would be interested: @pedrostories​ @tuskens-mando​ @captainsamwlsn​ @cinewhore​ @humanransome-note​ @littleferal​ @djarin-junk​ @ifimayhaveaword​ @softanon​ @mostly-megan
​--------
“Will you promise me something?”
Marcus is hardly awake, eyes heavy with slumber and limbs from pleasure that all he can manage to do is hum. Ethan knows him well enough to take it as a ‘yes’ 
“If something ever happens to me, will you look after her?” 
Marcus pushes himself up from his lover’s chest with a smile. “Is this your way of telling me that you're dying?” 
Behind his sharp response lies a fear. Of sickness. Disease. Of Ethan’s handsome face, still with closed eyes in a casket. Panic seizes Marcus’ heart as his mind begins to spiral until Ethan puts it to rest with his own sweet smile. 
“No, I just-” he pauses and looks up to the ceiling. “I just worry, that's all. I don’t want her to be alone.” 
Marcus makes a noise, a scratching ‘hm’ in the back of his throat that he always did when Ethan brought you up. “Your sweet dove.” He sings. “I’m sure a pretty bird like her would be just fine as a widow, Ethan. You have nothing to worry for” 
If Ethan senses the bite in Marcus’ tone, he says nothing of it. Instead he tucks his fingers under his chin, tilting it to look up at him and those damn eyes he fell for 15 years ago. 
“I’m not joking, Marcus.” 
Damn him. 
“If something ever happened to me, she would be alone.” Marcus watched Ethan’s eyes grow weary. “Those vultures would surge on her and try to take the estate, her family would likely pressure her to remarry when the time comes and they’ll pawn her off to some beast and-” Tears. Honest to God tears brim in the corner of Ethan’s eyes as he speaks of the woman he doesn’t love. “I can’t stand the thought of her in that house all alone, Marcus. I just can’t.” 
The same house Marcus had spent the summer in with Ethan. The same one where they spent nights drinking and laughing alone in the river with nothing but each other and the moon. The same house where they kissed in the dark corners of the hall. The same house where he told Ethan he loved him for the very first time. 
The same house where Ethan first told him of his engagement. That his soon to be wife was “A kind little thing, but would never come between us, my love. I promise you.” 
Christ, he was a fool. 
“And of me?” 
“What?” 
“If something happens to you-” Marcus’ snapped. “What of me? You don’t think I will need to mourn? That I will need comfort? Consolation?”
Ethan frowned, finally realizing that his thoughts of you had tied his partner into a cage that he didn't mean to make. “Marcus, I didn’t mean-” 
“Of course you didn’t. You never do whenever you mention your sweet little dove.” 
“Perhaps if you took the time to meet her, there wouldn’t be this animosity between you two.” 
From the tip of his ears down to his toes, Marcus grew hot with shame. “I have no animosity towards her, Ethan.”
Ethan snorts and rolls his eyes as he cards his finger’s through Marcus’ hair. “Of course you don’t, my love. That’s why you have yet to accept a single invitation from her.” 
Marcus sputtered. “ I don’t- I’d never- I have work!” 
“For dinners, anniversaries, birthdays, and my wedding?”
“You know I couldn't. I had to visit my family.” 
Ethan laughs, dipping his head back as Marcus hides his face in his chest. 
“Darling please, half of your family was at the wedding!” 
Marcus says nothing for a moment. His fingers tap out a rhythm on Ethan’s chest. 
“She knows, Marcus.” Ethan offers. “She has for years! Never once judged me for it. She-” He mulls the sentence over before finding his voice once more. “She wants me to be happy. For us to be happy.” 
His lover turns to him with a tearful glare. “That doesn’t make it any fucking easier, Ethan.” 
Ethan’s fingers lace with his. “No, it doesn’t.” 
Silence falls over them both. Marcus listens to the beating of Ethan’s heart, the steady rhythm reminding him that he’s here. With him. No matter how long that would last, he was here. 
He's close to sleep, eyes beginning to shut when he hears Ethan’s voice, quiet and scared, whisper into the hidden room. 
“Promise me, Marcus.” 
Marcus closes his eyes. 
“I promise.”
Outside their room, laughter echoes as a song is picked up by a melody of drunken voices. Ethan presses his lips to the crown of Marcus’ head as he falls asleep. 
He arrives early to Ethan’s funeral, and doesn't enter for another hour. Instead, he walks across the lawn like it's his own home, and stands under the gazebo. 
His hand shakes as it plucks the flask from his pocket.
He remembers Ethan’s words. That stupid promise he had made five years ago that was nothing but a hypothetical, a silly ‘what-if’ that nearly turned into an argument that was never supposed to actually come true because he didn’t want to meet you. To take your hand in his and offer his condolences to the woman who married the love of his life. 
He didn’t want to comfort you. He wanted Ethan to comfort him. 
But the stupid bastard had to go off and die. 
Marcus lifts his head from the railing and looks up at the grand estate, a house full of memories: of confessions of love whispered between lovers and kind words spoken from spouses. Marital beds that were never used and love letters written by the same hand that fed you breakfast each morning. 
His eyes fall on the window to Ethan’s room. The one he would slip into during summer vacation, both drunk and smiling, still smelling of the river and whatever alcohol they had swiped from his father’s cabinet. 
Marcus freezes as the curtains shift, and a figure pulls them open to peer through. 
He doesn’t see your face. It’s draped in black fabric, just as the rest of you is. Marcus can hardly make out the shape of you, but it’s enough to send his heart into a frenzy, to remind him that he was here because Ethan loved you, despite how much it hurt him to finally admit it. But he loved you and now you were all alone in that big house and he made a promise that he was going to fucking keep. 
You raise a gloved hand. Tears stream down his face as he raises one back. 
The curtain is snatched from your hand and pulled shut by an unseen force at the same time Marcus sees the front doors open to welcome in the funeral guests. 
He hates the way the house looks. 
Every mirror is covered with a black drape and every picture is turned over. He bumps shoulders with guests who hardly offer him an apology as they drag their feet along the carpet with such a blatant disrespect he feels as if he’s going to burst. 
He’s angry. He’s angry at you for letting these people into Ethan’s home. He’s angry at the people who tut and sigh “such a shame” and “so young” as if they were even close enough to Ethan to know him like Marcus did. But he’s angry at Ethan most of all. He’s angry at the son of a bitch for ding. For leaving him alone in a world he wasn’t made to suffer through by himself and making him promise to look after his wilting flower of a widow that he hadn’t even met because the notion of meeting the woman who had the privilege of sleeping by the love of his life’s side made his chest grow tight and throat close up until the room would spin and he felt faint. 
Marcus stops in the doorway of the viewing room. The black figure that had waved at him, the widow, Ethan’s little dove donned in all black like a crow. 
Across from you lies your husband’s body. 
He feels sick. From the widow or the corpse of his beloved, he wasn’t quite sure. 
But you were all the much easier to look at. 
Guests gasped and shouted as he pushes past each of them with a frantic looping mumble of “I'm so sorry, excuse me, Pardon me” as he pushes his way to the front of the room. 
He can feel it. The tears brimming in his eyes and the panic seizing his heart in that unforgiving grip, the closer he gets to the front of the room, the closer he gets to you. 
To Ethan. 
But he has to, goddamnit. He made a promise. That promise was the only thing left of the man he loved. Without it he had nothing. He was nothing. 
A hand shoves against his chest with such force he nearly topples backwards. 
“Have you any shame!” the man before his hissed. It took him a moment to recognize the sunken-in face of Ethan’s uncle, who lurched forward and seized the lapels of his coat in his fists. “The poor woman is grieving! Show some goddamn respect, Pike. Or i’ll have you thrown out before you even have the chance to-” 
“It’s alright, Edward.” 
Your voice is raw. Wet and shaking but still kind as you step forward and lay a gloved hand on the growling man’s shoulder. “Let him through.” 
Ethan’s uncle looks back at you, that snarling voice turning sickly sweet faster than Marcus could snap his finger. “Are you sure, dear? I can send him away if-”
“That won’t be necessary.” 
You were a shroud of black. As all widows were. A long, dark veil covered your face. 
Marcus wondered what you wore before he died. 
Ethan’s voice, 15 years younger, rang in his head. “Purple is her favorite color.” He had remarked. “I don't think I've ever seen the woman without it! She’s quite peculiar.” 
He could hardly see what you truly looked like, but through the veil he could make out tearful eyes and a trembling smile. 
“I’m so sorry-” He heaves, pulling your gloved hands into his own as tears begin to stream down his face. “Truly I am sorry, dove. Fuck I didn’t mean for this. I’m just-” 
“Hello, Mr. Pike.” Oh, damn you. He thought. How dare you look at him like that, without a drop of pity or malice in your voice. As if you really care that he was there besides you. As if he mattered at all in the pageantry of funerals and its rituals. “It’s so nice to finally meet you.”
It was then that Marcus breaks. 
You squeeze his hands in yours and he sobbs.  “It’s alright, Marcus.” You insist softly. “I know.” 
Idiot. His chest wheezes with every breath as he stammers out apologies and excuses while you rub circles into his hand with your thumb. You're supposed to be comforting her. 
Marcus hears a voice whisper behind him, reminding him that you were not alone in this room. 
A room full of Ethan’s family and friends, watching him weep as if he were the widow, not you. 
He pulls his hands away from you as if they had been burned, quickly wiping the tears from his face and forcing his voice to steady. “I’m sorry, dove. I truly am. But I can’t stay. I just can’t-” 
Turning on his heel, he doesn’t wait for an answer before quickly pushing through the crowd again until he’s out of the house and could breathe once more. 
Marcus would see you again. He promised to care and watch over you, he would do as such. But not tonight, not yet. Tonight he would drink and cry alone. Close his eyes with the small comfort that at least Ethan would be in his dreams, that he could see his smile and hear his laughter through the night. 
When he falls asleep, all that greets Marcus in his dream is a lone dove with stained wings, trying desperately to free itself from its cage. 
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Moodboard by the incredible @softhecreator
Mr. Chalamet
chapter two: more than friendly
AO3 info one two three four five six seven eight nine ten eleven epilogue
All my work is 18+.
I fell apart when I got home inside my bed. I can’t think, can’t speak; I can’t move, can’t breathe. This is a white heart heat when you get next to me. When I’m around you, it’s like waking up the dead. My back’s against the wall, oh oh, and I’m feeling the pressure. Yes, I’m about to fall, oh oh. What I’m feeling, it’s torture. It’s unavoidable. You are a magnet, it’s unavoidable. I am metallic, so do what you do, do what you do to me.- Neon Trees, Unavoidable
It may have been strange, but Mr. Chalamet was Lea’s first male friend. If one could call one’s friend’s dad one’s own friend, that is. Which he certainly acted like one with her.
He was so nice. So ridiculously nice. He’d finished filming recently, so he’d be home for awhile, he had told her.
She spent a great deal of time over at their house, which, realistically speaking, who could blame her, really? It had a movie theater, for god’s sake.
Lea had become strangely comfortable with Mr. Chalamet, too. He was always so kind to her. And he was funny. Elle was forever teasing him for his jokes, but Lea thought they were hilarious. He seemed to revel in making her laugh, always smiling when he managed it. They’d become texting buddies (he’d offered to give her his motherfucking phone number), and he’d even invited her to follow his finsta and Snapchat, frequently sending her pictures and videos on the latter— sometimes in a group, sometimes just for her. He texted her memes and asked her how school was going. He expressed concerns about his job. They were friends, and it was weird.
She stared at him sometimes. She couldn’t help it. In her defense, though, he was so attractive it was downright obscene. He was a walking, talking orgasm, basically. 
But one evening, he did something… so ridiculously, unbelievably sweet.
Lea had fallen asleep on the couch after a movie, and he had carried her up to the guest bedroom she slept in whenever she visited. He’d even tucked her in. He’d stayed for nearly thirty seconds—she had counted—before walking away. Her counting had pulled her almost entirely back to sleep, and his actions had fueled her dreams that night. She dreamt of him getting in bed next to her and holding her close.
It was after this that she sat down and made a list. 
List Of Reasons Why I Absolutely Cannot Fall In Love With Timothée Chalamet 
1. He’s married. 
2. His wife is Lourdes Leon, Madonna’s daughter.
3. He’s sixteen years older than me. 
4. I’m friends with his daughter.
5. His daughter (my friend!) has been alive for almost the same number of years he is older than I am.
6. He’s a huge celebrity. I am a nobody.
7. He clearly likes skinny girls. I am fat. He must think I'm disgusting. 
8. He sees me as a kid, not a woman. He will never see me as a woman. 
9. Even if he did, though, he still has to kiss and pretend to have sex with other women for work. He has to pretend to be in love with them. I’m jealous just thinking about it. 
10. He’d never want me. Not in a million years. 
And that was that. She put it from her mind. 
Or tried to, anyway. It didn’t work. By the end of the semester, she knew it for certain: she was falling in love with him. It was inevitable. Perhaps it always had been. 
So Lea did the only thing she could think of to do. As soon as the new semester started up and she and Elle were in Cinema Studies 2—this time they’d been able to request they be partners, although Lea hadn’t been able to think of a good excuse not to, plus she didn’t want to hurt her friend’s feelings—, she avoided him like he had rabies and was likely to infect her if she got too close. She wouldn’t spend the night anymore, and she didn’t watch movies with him anymore. He would sometimes come in and sit down while she and Elle watched a movie, but Lea was always sure to leave immediately. She was terrified that being around him, looking at him, hearing his voice— all of it would make her feelings so much worse.
Her twentieth birthday had come and gone, and he texted her for it. She thanked him, but otherwise didn’t speak to him hardly at all. And yet she daydreamed sometimes about what it would be like if he wanted her, too. If he wasn’t with someone else, if she wasn’t too young for him, no good for him. If he saw her the way she saw him.
Elle slept over at her and Sam’s apartment one evening.
“You’ve been sadder lately,” Elle said quietly into the darkness of Lea’s bedroom. “Are you okay?”
Lea hadn’t intended to fill Elle in on this particular development, but, well. The younger girl was too perceptive, and she knew her friend’s mannerisms too well by that point not to pick up on the change.
“I’m fine,” Lea assured her, “I just…” she trailed off with a sigh. “I like someone. A lot.”
“Ommigod!” Elle squealed, shooting bolt upright from her sleeping bag on the floor. “Who is he?!”
Lea was silent for a moment. “Someone unavailable,” she finally confessed, her voice quiet. “Someone who wouldn’t look twice at me in a million years.”
“Unavailable how?”
“He’s married,” Lea explained.
“Ohhhhhhhh,” Elle said. “Yeah, that would pose a problem. What’re you gonna do?”
“Nothing,” Lea said quickly. “I’m just gonna avoid him so it doesn’t get worse.”
“Why avoid him?”
“He’s really nice to me,” Lea admitted. “It sucks ‘cause I like hanging out with him, but if I keep doing it, I’m gonna end up falling in love with him, I think, and I don’t want to. He’s really smart, so he’d probably figure it out or something, and I don’t want him to be uncomfortable. I don’t want to make things weird.”
“You know what you should do,” Elle started, “is ask my dad for advice. He’s really insightful.”
“I know,” Lea agreed, “but I don’t wanna ask him, really. It’d be weird.”
“Why would it be weird?” Elle asked in surprise.
Because it’s him I’m falling for, she thought. What she said, however, was, “I don’t talk to, y’know. Guys. Especially not about feelings and whatnot.”
“He’s not a guy,” Elle laughed. “He’s my dad.”
“He’s still a guy, dude.”
“If you say so.”
“You won’t, uh…” Lea gulped nervously. “You won’t tell him, will you?” She quickly amended with, “Or— or anybody else, I mean?”
“Nah,” Elle assured her. “Of course not. Not unless you want me to. I do really think my dad could help, though. He gives great advice.“
Lea stared at the ceiling even though she couldn’t see anything.
“I’m sure he does.”
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They were cramming for school, which, for Cinema Studies, meant their final project. Lea was subsequently over at their house a great deal.
It was Friday evening, and they’d just eaten a very late dinner. Mr. Chalamet had made it. Which, yeah, he could cook. Swoon.
“I’m gonna take a shower and pass out,” Elle decided. “Lea, are you staying or going home?”
“I should head home,” she said immediately. Perhaps a bit too quickly, in fact. 
“In this rain?” Mr. Chalamet asked as Elle walked off. “Are you sure?”
“Uh… yeah,” she gulped anxiously, not looking at him. This was made easier when her phone buzzed as a completely irrelevant notification came through. “Oh, my ride's here.” She didn’t have a ride, but he didn’t have to know that.
“Do you have an umbrella?” he asked. 
“Yeah,” she lied. “My purse is waterproof, too, so.” That, at least, was true. Her phone and wallet would be safe, even in the rain. It was fine.
Mr. Chalamet seemed skeptical, but let her leave without further questions.
Lea didn’t have a ride, though. She didn’t even have a raincoat. This was unfortunate, because she had to walk all the way off the Chalamet estate to the street and down to the subway.
Her hair was soaked (as was the rest of her) within minutes, and she knew she’d have a hell of a time stopping the frizz when she got home. She wondered what time it was. When she’d left, it had been just after eleven, what with how late she and Elle had been working. Mr. Chalamet had looked so gorgeous that evening that it had actually been painful to look at him. And he was so kind, making dinner for her and Elle, wanting to make sure she got home safely. 
She was musing about it as she walked down the sidewalk not far from the Chalamets’, a car she recognized all too well pulling up against the curb. 
She glanced at it, and, to her horror, Mr. Chalamet himself had cracked the window so he could speak to her without the rain getting in.
“Lea?” he asked, concern lacing his voice. “What’re you doing here?”
“I’m, uh…” She gulped anxiously. “I’m going to the subway.”
“I thought you said you had a ride.”
“They had to cancel last minute,” she quickly lied. 
He pursed his lips. “Uh huh. Okay, I’ll take you home. C’mon.”
Lea’s eyes widened, and she shook her head rapidly. “N— no thank you,” she stuttered. “I’m fine taking the subway.”
“Not in this rain,” Mr. Chalamet insisted, “and definitely not this late at night. Get in the car.”
“No, really,” she assured him, “I’m fine. But thank you.”
“Lea,” he started, his voice slow and deliberate, “I am not letting you walk around the city alone in the rain at 11:45 at night. No way in hell.” When she hesitated further, contemplating how to refuse him in a way he’d accept, he added, “Get. In. The. Fucking. Car.”
She did. 
He started down the road, and she stared out the window, watching rain. His car smelled like him, and with him so close to her…
Well. She just needed to pretend she was somewhere else.
“You didn’t have a ride home, did you?” Mr. Chalamet asked, sounding displeased. “Or an umbrella, apparently.”
She didn’t respond. He’d made her get in the car, and she couldn’t bear to talk to him. She was soaking wet, and somehow, that made her feel exposed. Vulnerable. Her mom had been vulnerable to her dad. That was why he’d been able to beat her. It was why she no longer had a dad, why she’d never grown up around boys. There was no danger of that with Mr. Chalamet for a whole host of reasons, of course, but the point was, vulnerability led to disaster. 
“Why did you lie to me, Lea?” he asked instead. “I get the feeling you’ve been lying to me, not to mention avoiding me. Why?”
She tensed. He was going to make things even more difficult for her, wasn’t he?
When she didn’t answer, didn’t even look at him, he let out a sigh of frustration. “Fine.”
All of a sudden, they had turned around and were going the opposite direction of her apartment.
Trying to figure out what he was trying to pull, Lea finally turned to look at him. “My apartment is the other way,” she pointed out.
“I know.” His fingers were tight on the steering wheel. 
He didn’t say anything else, and next thing she knew, they were in front of his house again. He got out, opening an umbrella as he did so. She flinched as the rain started to hit her skin again.
He rushed around to the other side to hold the umbrella over them both. Normally, she’d have smiled up at him and thanked him. This time, though, she marched right past him.
He hurried after her, and soon enough, she was dripping onto his fancy marble floors.
“What is with you?” Mr. Chalamet demanded.
She didn’t answer. She was gonna wait until she was dry enough to not damage her phone, and then she was gonna call an Uber.
“Alright then,” he decided, dropping his keys on the entryway table and grabbing her hand. “C’mon.”
“What—“ she started, thrown off by this turn of events.
“Do not argue with me, Lea,” he said sharply. “I’m not in the mood.”
Mr. Chalamet never got upset. She had never seen him snap or lose his temper, not once. It was… startling, to say the least. So she followed him, allowing him to pull her up the stairs and… into his bedroom?
They walked beneath an archway and then through a set of painted French doors, and then they were in his room. It was huge— vaulted ceilings, a TV above a carved fireplace, a sunroom in the corner that was separated from the rest of the bedroom by columns, a king sized bed with the covers unmade. 
That’s where he sleeps, she thought in a daze. He sleeps there. He sleeps there.
They passed a cabinet and counter with a mini fridge and coffee machine before going through another set of French doors and past a large, elaborate vanity that was built into the wall. He let go of her hand once they were between two huge walk-in closets, and he strode into the one on the right. Within a few seconds, he had re-emerged carrying a long-sleeve shirt and pair of sweatpants.
Mr. Chalamet grabbed her hand again and pulled her through a third set of French doors. “Stay there,” he commanded sharply as he let go of her hand again to rifle through some sort of small closet that was built into the wall. 
As he did, she took in the bathroom she now stood in. Marble floors, a huge walk-in shower with a seat—also made of marble, and with a large circular mirror inside—a large double vanity, columns around the ginormous tub that was more of a jacuzzi, all elaborately carved. There was even a fireplace with a mirror—and fuck, a small statue in front of the mirror—and a set of doors to a balcony with a table and chair set.
He marched past her and plopped the clothes as well towels he’d retrieved onto a long stool that sat in front of the tub. “Shower,” he ordered, “or take a bath. I don’t care. Just get out of those wet clothes and warm up. I’ll be outside until you’re done.”
“I… I need to brush my hair whenever I bathe,” she told him, her voice soft and hesitant. “It frizzes up really bad if I don’t.”
“I know.” He pointed at the shower seat. “I have curly hair, too, you realize. There’s a brush in the shower for that exact reason. You can use it.”
Lea nodded. He left then, closing the doors behind him. She hastened to lock them, looking around the room anxiously.
She showered, noting that the conditioner—which must’ve been obscenely expensive—was for curly hair. Did he have trouble taming his, too?
The towels were soft, and the clothes were warm. She squeezed out her bra and panties, not wanting him to see them, or see her without a bra.
When she exited the bathroom, Mr. Chalamet was sitting in a chair by the fireplace. She crossed her arms over her stomach, curling her toes in the sweatpants (they fell well past her feet and were essentially socks).
His lips quirked slightly when he saw her. “Feel better?” She stared at her feet in silence, and he sighed. “C’mon,” he told her, “we should sit in the living room.”
Lea didn’t see why, but she wasn’t about to argue with him. She didn’t understand his need to take care of her, really. Must’ve been a dad thing. 
Further confirmation he sees you as a child, she told herself glumly. I told you he’d never see you as anything but that. It seems like he sees you as a daughter, even. Ugh.
She let him take her downstairs and into the living room, and she was soon sitting on the couch with him in a chair across from her. She stared up at the balcony behind him; the chandelier and vaulted ceilings, elaborately carved like the rest of the house.
“You’ve been avoiding me,” he finally said. It wasn’t a question. It was a statement of fact. “You’ve been lying to me, too. Tell me why.”
She stared at her hands in her lap, where her fingertips were peeking through the hemline of the sleeves off the shirt he’d given her. “With all due respect, Mr. Chalamet, what I do is none of your business.”
“I thought we were friends,” he told her quietly, a smile in his voice.
She exhaled sharply. “You’re my friend’s dad.”
“That doesn’t mean we can’t be friends also,” he insisted. “I see you as a friend. Don’t you see me as one, too?”
She crossed her arms over her stomach protectively. Maybe she wouldn’t spill her guts, pour her heart out to him, if she could hold herself together. “I dunno,” she sighed. “It’s… weird.”
He stood, and she watched his sock-clad feet come into view before the couch dipped beneath his weight. He was close, but not close enough to appear more than friendly. “Why is it weird?” he asked her, his voice gentle. Kind. He was always so goddamn nice.
Finally, the prickling of his gaze on her skin was too much. She looked up at him, into his eyes, and…
And she couldn’t take it, couldn’t keep it in. She burst into tears, the emotions bursting out of her like water from a collapsed dam.
Cupping her face with her hands so he wouldn’t see her cry, Lea sobbed as quietly as she could until she felt herself pulled towards him and warm arms around her. 
“Shh,” he hushed softly, rubbing her back as she wept. “It’s alright. I’ve got you, Lea. It’s okay.” 
She couldn’t stop herself from burying her face in his shoulder. It felt so good to be held by him, to have his arms around her. It was everything she’d ever dreamed of except better, a billion times better.
Lea cried for a few more minutes before coming back to herself. As soon as she did, she put her hands on his shoulders and pushed away from him. Or tried to, anyway. She couldn’t get very far with his arms still around her. “Sorry,” she muttered, still trying to pull away. “I didn’t mean to.”
“Hey,” Mr. Chalamet said gently, cupping her cheek and lifting her face up towards him so she couldn’t help but look at him, “it’s alright. Really. I want to be there for you, sweetheart.”
“You shouldn’t call me that,” she breathed, certain that he shouldn’t call her such things because of the way it made her stomach flutter.
He stroked her cheek with his thumb. “It’s what you are to me.”
“I shouldn’t be.” She assumed he saw her as a daughter, and, well, he should see her platonically, of course, but she couldn’t bear for him to look at her the way a father looked at his daughter. She’d rather he look at her as a friend, no matter how painful that was. Or, hell, even a stranger was better than his daughter. Better than a child.
“But you are,” he murmured. His gaze found her lips, and she stopped breathing. “You’re probably right. You probably shouldn’t be. But you are, and I don’t care anymore. Push me away, slap me if you have to, but I can’t stop myself. I want this with you too badly. I’m sorry.”
“What are you—“ She didn’t even get to finish her question before his lips were on hers.
Lea was frozen. Her lungs wouldn’t work, couldn’t work. And then her brain processed what was happening. He was kissing her. Mr. Chalamet was kissing her, his lips moving gently over hers, his hand migrating from her cheek into her wet hair. 
She whimpered softly, closing her eyes and shifting closer to him. He groaned when he felt her respond, clenching his hand in her hair, his arm tightening around her waist. Their kiss deepened, becoming desperate and hungry, and he sucked her tongue into his mouth, moaning as he did so.
She knew it was wrong, knew he was no good for her, that she was no good for him, but she couldn’t stop herself, couldn’t help how desperately she needed him.
She slid her hands up from his shoulders into his hair and tried to move her lips over his the way he was doing with her, and he moaned again, trailing kisses over her jaw and down her throat. “You’re so beautiful,” Mr. Chalamet said against her skin. “God, why didn’t you push me away? You should hate me now. You should find me repulsive, think I’m a gross old man—“
“A what?” she laughed breathlessly. “Are you serious?”
“I’m way too old to want you this way.” He slid his hand down to the base of her spine, almost on her ass, but not quite. She wondered if he wanted to touch her there. She wished he would. She wished he’d touch her everywhere. “I shouldn’t look at you the way I do.”
“How do you look at me?” Lea asked breathily as he continued to kiss her neck. “I thought you saw me as a child.”
He chuckled a bit, the hand on her back bunching up in the fabric of the shirt she wore. “But you’re not one, are you?” he breathed. “You’re a fully grown woman.” His fingers slipped beneath the hemline of the shirt, brushing against the bare skin of her lower back. “God, are you ever.”
“What do you mean?” she asked, having a theory she couldn’t quite voice and hoping she was right.
“You’re of age,” Mr. Chalamet began, “and your body is…” he trailed off momentarily before clearing his throat. “Well. You’re an adult, and you look it.”
“You like the way I look?” she asked hesitantly.
“Fuck yes I do,” he growled. “I don’t wanna freak you out, but you are insanely sexy. Kiss me again, sweetheart. Please.”
“If that’s what you want,” she breathed, pressing her mouth to his again.
“I’ve spent a lot of time imagining this,” Mr. Chalamet confessed. “Thinking about your lips on mine.”
“You— you have?”
“God, yes.” He pulled her closer by the waist. “I can’t get you out of my head. Ever since I first saw you, I wanted to know what you’d taste like, what you’d feel like. What sounds you’d make if I touched you the way I really want to.”
“How do you want to touch me?” she wanted to know. “I… I’ve never… I mean, that was my first kiss, so…”
“It was?” he asked, sounding surprised. “I can’t believe I got to have that. But— I want to touch you however you'll let me. I want things with you—I want to do things to you—that might scare you, and that’s the last thing I want, is to scare you off.”
“You could never scare me off,” she assured him. “Please tell me how you see me. I want to know.”
“Like a fucking goddess,” he growled, kissing her neck again. “Aphrodite come to Earth. I’d worship you if you let me.”
Lea wrapped her arms around his neck, wanting to be closer to him, impossibly closer. “Mr. Chalamet, I—“
“Use my name, darling,” he interjected, running his hands up and down her sides, almost brushing her breasts. “I want to hear you say it. I want to hear you moan it.”
She hesitated, but he was kissing her neck, and it felt so good. He felt so good. “Timothée,” she exhaled softly.
“Fuck,” he groaned, sucking her skin gently, not quite hard enough to leave a mark. “Again, angel. Please. Say it again.”
“Oh, Timothée—“
“I wanna hold you,” he gasped. “I wanna touch you, feel your skin against mine—“
“Yes,” Lea whimpered. “Yes, Timothée, please touch me, I want that, I want that so bad—“
“Fuckin’ love hearing you say my name, baby,” he growled. “Never call me Mr. Chalamet again, you got that?”
“Whatever you want,” she promised, kissing him hungrily.
“This is why you’ve been lying to me, isn’t it?” Mr. Chalamet—no, Timothée, he wanted her to call him Timothée—asked. “Why you’ve been avoiding me, won’t look at me.”
She buried her face in his neck in response. “I’m sorry. I never meant to feel this way about you. It was an accident.”
“I didn’t mean to feel this way about you, either,” he confessed, “but that doesn’t mean I’m not happy I do, that you feel the same way about me.”
“I tried to hide it,” Lea admitted, “but I’ve never liked anybody before, so I don’t think I was very good at it.”
“No,” he chuckled with a slight shake of his head. “No, you weren’t. I suspected—or hoped, rather—that that was what was going on, but I wasn’t sure. I’m so glad I was right.” After a moment, he said, “Kiss me again, Lea. I need you to kiss me again.”
She was leaning in to do just that when there were footsteps on the stairs. Jumping away from him like a kid caught with their hand in a cookie jar, she panted heavily.
“What’re you guys doing?” Elle asked when she saw them.
There was silence for a few tense beats. “I was just about to take Lea home,” Tim—she got to think of him as that now!—finally said. “She’s not feeling well.”
“Oh, shit,” Elle muttered. “You okay? Why’re you wearing Dad’s clothes?”
“She got sick while still wearing her clothes,” he explained. “Do you need something?”
“Just a snack,” Elle said, strolling towards the kitchen. “See you later, Lea. Hope you feel better.”
“T— thanks,” Lea stuttered back, feeling very much like she’d just committed treasonous levels of betrayal.
“C’mon,” Tim told her gently, pulling her up and leading her towards the door.
She was in a daze on the drive to her apartment, trying to process what had happened.
He’d kissed her. He’d told her he liked her, wanted her, couldn’t stop thinking about her.
What the fuck?
He stopped in front of her building, pulling off to the curb. “The rain has stopped enough for you to walk in without an umbrella,” he observed.
“Yeah,” she agreed softly, staring at her hands in her lap. “Thanks for driving me home, Mr. Chalamet.”
“Why are you calling me that again?” he wanted to know. “I thought we agreed you wouldn’t anymore, now that we’re…” he trailed off.
Lea clutched the fabric of the sweatpants he’d given her. “We can’t do that again,” she informed him shakily. “I’m sorry. We can’t. I’ll see you later.”
He objected, saying her name, but she was already getting out of the car.
She curled up in a ball when she got to bed, crying until her eyes were raw.
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Aaaaaaaa I’m sorry I’m sorry I promise it has a happy ending
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To be added, please ask 💗
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erin-bo-berin · 2 years
Note
just read your “this isn’t goodbye” and would absolutely love a fluffy follow up/part 2 where maybe steve goes to visit reader at school or the reader is home for the holidays and it’s just really cute and fluffy please?
Yes, yes! I couldn’t handle leaving it like that cause I was crying while writing it it broke my heart 😭 I’m not sure how it works everywhere, but I know of some colleges that are through with the semester before Thanksgiving until beginning of January, so it’s like an entire month off, so that’s what I’m gonna have it be like, just to clear up any confusion.
But yes all the fluff for this couple!
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We Made It
Part 2 of This Isn’t Goodbye
Steve Harrington x Reader
You hadn’t told Steve you would be home for the holidays. Well, that’s a lie. He knew you would be home, he just didn’t know when.
He’d figured probably sometime in December, maybe closer to Christmas. He didn’t think he’d have the opportunity to see you for Thanksgiving or that you’d be home for an entire month.
You’d enlisted the kids’ help in surprising him. So, they had poor Steve out driving around for the last hour, while you awaited in the basement of the Wheeler household—most known as the home base for the group.
You heard footsteps and raised voices from upstairs and you waited in anticipation to finally see your boyfriend for the first time since the end of July.
It had been a long four months. Sure, you talked on the phone all the time. But due to Steve’s busy work schedule, hauling teens around town and your classes, he’d never had the chance to visit this semester. Talking to him was nice, you loved the sound of his voice, but you’d missed seeing him in person. Missed smelling his intoxicating scent, a mixture of his cologne, hair products and just him.
“Why did I just spend an hour driving you idiots around town if you couldn’t make up your mind where you wanted to go?” Steve’s voice carried down to you from upstairs, “We’d get to the movies, then you decided you wanted to go to the park. We get to the park and then suddenly you’re hungry. We get to the goddamn diner and then all of a sudden you wanted to go rent a movie! You’re lucky I didn’t ring your necks! Where are you guys going?”
“Just follow us,” Mike said.
You heard half a dozen footsteps on the stairs and soon the teens appeared, grinning like mad.
“Hey, come back here! I’m not finished with you!”
Steve’s footsteps followed next and when you came in view, he stumbled slightly, shocked to see you.
“Y/N?!”
His earlier annoyance was gone and his face split into a wide grin.
“You’re home!”
He practically went flying off the stairs and for you, picking you up and spinning you around as he hugged you.
“Surprise!” Dustin smirked.
“Was this why you guys had me driving all around town?”
“We wanted to make sure she had time to get here,” Max smiled.
“Okay, I take it all back. You guys aren’t so bad,” he smiled, in their direction, his arms still tight around you.
“Come on guys, let’s give the love birds some privacy,” Lucas said, herding his friends upstairs.
“When did you get in?” Steve asked, pulling you down to sit with him on the couch.
You put your legs in his lap, situating yourself before answering.
“About half an hour ago. I’m yours for an entire 5 weeks.”
He looked so shocked and happy that you couldn’t help but smile.
“You’re done with the first semester?”
“Mhm. Finished my exams earlier this week, just in time for Thanksgiving. Classes don’t resume until after New Years. You’re going to get so tired of me.”
“Never,” Steve smiled, “So what’s the updates on the grades?”
You usually kept Steve updated on grades you made on tests, essays, but hadn’t yet let him know your course grades. It meant so much to you to know that he was so invested in knowing about little things like this.
“Three A’s, one B.”
“That’s my baby girl!” he praised, giving you a high five, “I knew you could do it.”
“I’m just thankful to get a B in the mandatory science course. It doesn’t even have anything to do with my degree! It’s just one of those “freshmen have to take it” courses, but it was hard.”
“It may not be an A, but I’m still damn proud of you for getting a B,” he said, lacing his fingers through yours.
“So, what would you like to do during break?” you asked, shifting, so you could rest your head on his shoulder.
“Uh, how about everything?”
“Everything huh?” you laughed.
“Well, first, the big gang Thanksgiving is being held by Joyce and Hopper this year, so of course we’re going to that. I’m going to eat so much pumpkin pie.”
“You and me both,” you agreed.
“Then we have a week to just lay around being full and happy while we eat Thanksgiving leftovers. We can go Christmas shopping. I promised I’d take the kids.”
“Aw that’s sweet.”
“You’re definitely coming with us though,” he said.
“Definitely.”
“We have to go ice skating at that new rink one town over. We can even invite the kids.”
“Sounds like you want to hang out with them more than you do with me,” you teased, knowing that was far from the case.
“They kinda ended up becoming attached to me at some point.”
“Not that you mind, of course.”
“Eh, well,” he joked, laughing at the look you gave him.
You knew him better than that.
“What else?” you promoted.
“Hmm. We definitely have to bake Christmas cookies. Decorate the tree. Make some snow angels and snowmen when it snows. Have a snowball fight. We must go see Santa.”
“We must?”
“Of course! How else will Santa know what I want for Christmas?” Steve protested.
“Well, how can he get me what I want when I already have the best present?” you smiled, leaning up to kiss him.
“I’m so glad you’re home,” Steve grinned, resting his forehead against yours.
“I am too.”
“Hey Y/N,” he whispered.
“Hmm?”
“We made it through the first semester.”
“Yes,” your smile matched his own, “Yes, we did.”
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wegc · 3 months
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ok first off. first offffffffff. clearly i need to start finding my ass in your inbox with all my filthy thoughts bc hello?? that drabble was was so sick and insane and unhinged and ughhhhhh. esp that last bit…idk idk it makes me feel like that chan would be the kind of bf to spoil you w pretty lingerie but then absolutely ruin it by covering it in his cum regardless of whether you’re wearing it or not bUT LET ME SHUT UP BEFORE I GET OFF TRACK AGAIN DBDJDKDK
in response to ur other message: “completely healthy and appropriate interests” oh i giggled🤭 we r in this together i fear, if there’s a day chan doesn’t make me go insane consider me no longer on this planet ! my day was pretty good tho!! i’m finally home for the holiday break (standing barefoot on your shower floor is a luxury i never appreciated until i got to college😭) so i’m planning on some shopping too + going out w some old friends before second semester starts and i have to go back to living off half an hour of sleep per day and regretting my life choices being a woman in stem lolol. and thank u for putting me on to miniso their stuff is so cute!! this is getting long now lol so i’ll stop here. talk more soon bb <3
-🍒 anon
PLEASE DO HELLO!!! u turned my world upside down with your ask!!! AND NOW URE DOING IT AGAIN hhh the thought of chan jerking off and busting all over your pretty lingerie just because he’s sooo insatiable and obsessed when it comes to u makes me so dizzy. bf channie would DEF send you pictures of ur ruined, cum stained panties!!!
and omg YES remembering that communal washrooms exist make me rlly grateful that i commute to uni LOL but yayy, i hope you enjoy shopping and hanging with your friends!!! and HELLO?? stem girlie omfg?? ur so smart!!! but i know :( my break ends in a week :((( more sleepless nights yay :3 take care of yourself!!! stay happy and healthy babes love u!!!
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avengersassemble-fics · 3 months
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hello there
wow.
so.. its been awhile, hasn't it? like a long.. long time. sure, a couple posts but my last actual post was december 21, 2021.. crazy!
have I written anything since then? no, not really. re-read some of my work, thought "man this shit is so fuckin good" ..but I just honestly wasn't well enough to sit here and write. as much as I missed it.
what's new?.. a mess and depressed! but working through it. if you read my person posts in the pass, I worked at an optical store for a big big brand (not naming names) that felt like my soul was getting sucked out of me.. retail, amiright?
but seriously. I was there for 4 years by July of this year. in October, the manager I had been with since getting hired was moved to a store closer to her (congrats bestie) which opened up the management role for the one I was in.
I interviewed!! ...I didn't get it!!
devastated. like everything I had ever done was for fucking nothing. all the times I covered, where I took charge when the manager was out, the shitty position of just being under the threshold of FT so I never got the FT benefits (pto.. I was a feign for wanting time off). I interviewed, never got a definitive answer from the dm, until the news was laid on us that someone was hired.
someone who had less than a years experience, from a sister brand that sold non-rx sunglasses. A MAN. nothing wrong with me, I love men, but it was a gut punch. I had to continue being in charge for 2-3 months while this guy got trained for the position I felt I was deserving of.
and when he started it was absolute shit. I have never met someone so fuckin lazy. he refused to close, refused to work most weekends, never helped clean or help keep things organized, left me to handle signage changes and other things, stating stupid shit like "I didn't sign up for that" when like.. yes you did? that's literally the whole point of being a manager? the last week of the year is extremely busy in the optical space, because people want to use their benefits before the end of the year (use it or lose it). december 31, 2022.. what did he do? he left me and my coworker alone so he could go home early. we did ten thousand dollars in sales that day. that is what the store would average a week. we did it in a day.
my depression got worse.. but I did get my associates in psychology (cute). it wasn't until February of this year that I finally got a break. ya girl got a new job, in an office, not having to sell anything! perfection.
I moved out of my parents (it's def a struggle but.. my cat and I are happy), I officially was diagnosed with a chronic disease this year, working on my mental health everyday, did my first semester of uni..
and I miss this. writing, posting, daydreaming. I want to come back but I'm not sure if it is possible on this blog or if I'll have to start fresh elsewhere. but this place is my writing home (and AO3).
if you read all the way through, thank you. I hope to be back soon with new content (branching out of my comfort zone! finish old stories!)
until next time not two years from now..
xoxo caitlyn
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girljeremystrong · 6 months
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hi I think I may have to kill myself I'm in college but during my second year I got so depressed I failed like half my classes of that semester and now it may take me longer to graduate because my uni won't let me retake the classes regularly. I fucked up my life and it wasn't even on purpose I was just depressed out of my mind like my brain was in a black hole. my friends graduate soon and they'll go abroad for their masters (which was what I'd planned as well) and I'll be alone. Im genuinely sitting here thinking about ending it, not even in a sad way but just logically it makes sense to end it. I'm sorry for dumping this here but I felt like you'd understand as a fellow depressed university girl studying something she doesn't like
babe oh my god no it doesn't make sense to end it all it is absolutely not what you should do
yes i understand perfectly what you're saying! i am in my 18238 year of university because of how i've been depressed and unable to keep up with my classes and exams and every single friend i had made in university has now graduated and i don't even know what they're up to anymore
and obviously i hate it and i definitely haven't gotten over it and i joke a lot about killing myself because but i won't do it because i know i shouldn't!!!
THINGS WILL GET BETTER FOR YOU it might take some time but you will find your way. university is so difficult and complicated and i know it's so hard when it seems like everyone is just breezing through it but i can absolutely assure you that you're not alone and that lots and lots of people everywhere feel exactly like you do! i know i do for sure!!!
you're not alone and you're welcome to vent to me whenever you want and please know your feelings about this are absolutely shared by so many other depressed uni students but also and i'm begging you do not think this is a reason to end it all your life is just starting and you have so much time to finish university and in time this messy time period will make sense too!!!
please reach out to the people in your life and talk to them and consider talking to a specialist like i know having therapy has helped me a lot with understanding why this has happened to me but also realizing that it will all be okay in the end even if it doesn't feel like it
everyone is rooting for you this i can promise you and i love you and i want you to be patient and then one day be able to enjoy the wonderful peaceful life you will be able to build for yourself
PLEASE do not think that killing yourself is the answer because it is not. believe me i know it is so painful but you have to push through and everything will be okay i promise you
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