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#and i was like oh i guess i am losing you mister
angelica-takach · 26 days
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Kim Minji, you are my starlight.
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Summary: People hate androids, so what happens when an open-minded human meets her own android at her front door?
Genre: Robot!Reader, NonIdol!Minji, Fluff.
Warnings!// Deviants, Toxic relationship, Robot x Human relationship.
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Minji's POV:
It was a rainy day and I had to work once again at the office. My coworkers all are leaving but like always I stayed late because I Have nothing better to do, but a voice cu me out of my thoughts. "Hey Minji!" I looked up it was Hanni. "Hey. What's up Hanni?" She smiled at me. "Guess what?" I shrugged. "What is it, Han?" She sighed and huffed a little. "You're not good at guessing. I am buying you a big birthday present!" I gasped. "Wait what is it?" She laughed at me. "You don't get to know but I will tell you this...It's a big gift that will arrive on your doorstep within the next couple of weeks." I started thinking about the possibilities of what it could be. "Fine but if I hate it. You are never going to hear the end of it." She laughed again. "Okay then. Noted." with that she left. it started to get late so I packed up and left to head home, but when I arrived there was a big box inside my house. I gasped and was jaw dropped. I read cyberlife on the side of the box. "Oh my god! Hanni! I don't know why this is making me nervous!?" I set my stuff down and took my shoes off and walked in front of the box taking in a deep breath.
I was about six years old, and my parents were always busy, so they bought me an android, so I wasn't alone anymore. Her name was 'Scarlett' we played a lot, and she would feed me and keep the house clean and helped me with homework. I one day came home from school and it was eerily quiet. I walked inside and then got grabbed by Scarlett. "Scarlett what's going on?" I asked her in a panic. "You and me can be friends forever and I can give you a better life if you come with me." I didn't know what to do since I was only six. "I don't think I should Scarlett. You aren't yourself anymore." She hated that response and grabbed me rather harshly by the arm. I heard the doorknob unlock on the front door. "Daddy-..." She pulled out his pistol and shot him. "No! Daddy!" I yanked trying to free my arm, I got free then ran for my room and locked the door. She was banging on it from the other side. "Please let me in Minji Sweetie. I am sorry I hurt your father, but I won't hurt you or your mother." I dialed nine one, one. 'This is 911 what's your emergency?' I cried a little hearing a warning shot go off. 'H-hello I need the police.' I got transferred over to the police. 'Hi there what's the emergency?' I panicked again because she shot another shot towards the door but she missed on purpose. "Minji! Come out now!'" 'There is an lose android in my home.' He calmed his tone. 'What's your name sweetheart?' 'M-minji, Kim Minji sir.' 'Okay sweetheart we've got our best men on the way please hold on tight sweetie.' 'Okay thank you.' I started sobbing. 'She shot my dad.' He sighed on the other end. 'I'm sorry to hear that honey. Everything will be okay. Stay on the phone with me till they arrive.' I heard another shot go off and she only missed because I dropped to the ground. I had to speak barely above a whipser.
'She keeps firing at my bedroom door she thinks she got me but she missed.' He sighed seeming thankful I was okay. 'Okay stay down on the ground and pretend to be dead as best you can sweetie they are about to be there.' 'Okay thank mister officer.' 'You're welcome honey.' A few minutes later the cops arrived and shot her down and they got me out of my room. My mom got called too and she lost it when she found out my father died. "I'm so sorry sweetie. I'm so sorry." I cried into her shoulder, but I never wanted to see another android again.
I don't understand it but this time feels different. I finally got the courage to open the door on the box and the android inside is beautiful looks like she was sculpted by gods. Her short red hair along with her soft and gentle facial features. The info on the booklet in her box with her told me her model was AT700, she is "5'8. It also says to turn her on I need to press and hold the LED on her temple for 10 seconds. I do so and she woke up almost human like. Her LED on her temple started yellow but changed to the blue then she looked at me. "Hi, I'm your new android. My name is Y/n. Nice to meet you. What's your name?" She asked me. "Ki-Kim Minji. Nice to meet you too Y/n." Her LED turned yellow as she took that information in. "I'm an android built for being, a friend, a maid, a housekeeper, a romantic partner or whatever you want of me." She spoke which made me blush a little. "I am okay with you being my friend Y/n." I smiled softly at her. "Okay Minji. I also can cook too and since it is a little past dinner time I will handle it." I went to protest but I need a shower so. I went and showered and then went into my room and got dressed in some lazy at home clothes, when I came out of my room food smelled amazing. I walked into the kitchen and seen her cooking food for me which was nice since I didn't need to worry about it. She turned around and smiled at me which her smile was almost what I would say is a real smile.
"Thank you for the food, Y/n. I appreciate it." She smiled again. "It's no big deal. Do you want me to eat with you?" I looked at her like she was insane. "Androids can't eat, can they?" She nodded but moved her hand gesturing a sort of. "I can because I am made to test the food first before I serve it to you. But if one doesn't want to eat alone I can for that too." I smiled. "You can if you want too." Her LED flashed yellow then red for a second but then it turned blue again. She got her own plate and ate with me. I offered to wash dishes, but she insisted it was fine so i went into the living room to watch a kdrama. Once she was done, she came to get me for bed. "It is about time for you to sleep Ms. Kim." I blushed from the name. "I will go to bed, but I have thirty minutes left of this episode." She nodded and sat down next to me and even opened her arms for me to snuggle. I ended up falling asleep before I finished the episode.
I woke up in my bed, but I sat up looking around and realized I was laying her chest. I jumped up but she looked toward me with concern. "What's wrong Minji?" I started giggling at myself for the behavior. "Nothing is... I just am not used to waking up with someone else in my bed with me." She looked relieved but her LED turned yellow and then blue before she spoke. "Well, I am sorry if you want, I can sit in your chair over there instead of climbing in your bed with you." She pointed over to the chair in the corner of the room, I shook my head. "No. It okay. I just need to get used to it." She nodded. "Well, I'm going to go make breakfast. I assumed you needed to shower so I gathered clothes for you already. Hopefully you like what I picked out." with that she stood up and left the room. I however turned into a blushing mess because she got my clothes. 'God why is it a problem that she got them for me? maybe because I have sexy undies and such. goodness quit being weird Minji.' I went and got in the shower and did my makeup and what not, then I did a once over on the fit and she was not wrong. A satin white button up with a black pencil skirt and some nice black flats to go with it. I came out the restroom and once again my nose smelled the best food ever. "What'd you make for me today?" I asked her. "It is an omelet with some toast and bacon." I gasped that sounds yummy. "Yum!" was my instant response. I sat down and ate in a hurry because I was kind of late on waking up. "Okay I got to go to work but I will be back by tonight anywhere from 8pm to 10pm unless I choose to stay then 12pm. I'll see you later Y/n." I waved and she did too.
Y/n's POV:
I was left alone and had no idea what to do, I could figure out if I have what I need to make dinner for Minji. I walked over to the fridge and found everything I needed and then decided to clean up and make sure all her laundry was done and that the dishes were all clean, once I was done with the dishes I heard a knock. I was hesitant to open the door but opted to do it anyways because Minji, my owner isn't home, so I did it for her. "Hello there what can I do for you?" I asked politely. "Is Minji here?" A younger looking male asked. "No but I can give her a message for you if you want." I offered since she wasn't home. "Can you just tell her I stopped by?" He asked. "Sure thing Mr.?" He pulled his hand out to shake mine, to which I took the opportunity to shake his hand. "Heeseung. Lee Heeseung." I smiled at him. "Okay Heeseung, I'll make sure she gets your message." He smiled then left.
Time Skip~
Minji's POV:
I arrived home a little past 10, worried a little about my android being alone. I opened the door and dinner was just being finished. "Hi Minji!" was her cheerful response to me coming in. "Hi Y/n. How are you today?" She froze again, LED turning yellow then red then back to blue. "I'm always fine, I was made for being an android to take care of the house when one leaves it. I made Tteokbokki for dinner." I gasped so hard at what she said. "Okay. I'm so excited to eat." I hurried up and went to the restroom and washed my hands so I could come eat, when I came out Y/n was already seated at the table waiting for me. I sat across from her. "So, a guy came by asking about you earlier Minji." I froze a little. "W-who was he?" She looked like she was remembering what she heard earlier. "He said his name was Heeseung and he wanted me to tell you he came by." She continued eating but I knew it was time for me to finally break it off with him. "I got to call him and break it off with him." She stopped eating. "What do you mean?" she genuinely looked like she actually cared. "He and I were in a relationship, but I can't do it anymore with him." her LED turned yellow then back to blue, once again processing the information. We finished eating dinner, she washed the dishes, I showered then got in bed and she followed. "Hey... Y/n?" She looked down at me. "Yes Minji?" I took in a deep breath. "You'll never leave me, right?" I looked up at her, her LED turned yellow then red then blue again. "Never. I'm your android till you choose to get rid of me." She spoke so calmly. I sighed and fell asleep all snuggled into her chest.
I woke up alone in bed this time, concerned I got up and walked to the kitchen to see her cooking breakfast for me again. She turned around and smiled at me. "Oh, you're up. I was going to bring you breakfast in bed." She turned around to continue cooking. I however started smiling like a fool. "Oh, thank you Y/n. I'll be right back." I went to the bathroom and shut the door calmly behind me, but I started blushing and hitting my chest because my heart was pounding out of my chest. Finally, I finished using the toilet and I washed my hands coming out to eat now. I got seated while she brought me coffee and my plate "Thank you Y/n." She smiled again. "You're welcome Minji.' We started eating and then there was a knock on the door. "Do you want me to get that Minji?" she asked me. I shook my head. "No, I got it Y/n." I stood up checking the peep hole- Shit it is Heeseung. I opened it and greeted him. "Hi Heeseung. I was going to call you to see if you wanted to go somewhere for coffee." He rolled his eyes. "Yeah, it's whatever, can I come in?" I nodded so he walked in. "Woah! I forgot you have an android." He smiled and waved at her, to which she responded the same way. "Should I give you privacy Minji?" She asked me. "No, you can stay it's fine." I gestured my hands telling her to sit back down at the table. "So, is this what you've been doing? Playing house... WITH YOUR FUCKING ANDROID!?" He threw a flower vase and shattered. He got closer towards me scaring me. "What the fuck Heeseung!? I am literally almost always at work; I don't have time for you anymore because of it." I started shaking from anger now. "And who are you to judge me!? You've literally cheated on me!" He then throws my tv to the floor. "Fuck you Minji!" He got closer to me pinning me against the wall, i tried to escape I kicked his shin and ran for my bedroom.
Y/n's POV:
I watched Heeseung follow Minji to her room and her panicked breathing following suit. I felt a weird error. I swear I could see me breaking through a wall and I watched it burst with my final slam against it. I ran into her room to find him pinning her into her bed trying to force himself on her. I grabbed him and threw him into the floor. "What the fuck!? I thought you androids weren't supposed to do this shit." He stood up and tried to punch me, I grabbed his arm. "You might want to think before laying your hands on women you fucking sick bastard." I flung his arm, but I dared to hit him back. "Stop it Heeseung get out!" Minji finally yelled. He huffed. "I'm glad I cheated. You never were good enough. You know... You two deserve each other." He pointed to me and Minji. Finally, he stomps out of here and slams her door behind him. I rushed over to her to comfort her. She tensed up under my hold for a second but relaxed into it and cried on me. "Why couldn't he not act like an asshole!?" Her loud sobs could be heard but I rubbed her back. "It's okay Minji. I promise I'm not going anywhere." I hugged tighter but was careful.
Time Skip~
It was about lunch time, and she was sleeping on my chest which I couldn't describe how it made me feel yet, but it was a warm comforting feeling. I tried to get out of her hold, but she felt me and got up too. "Wh-where are you going?' she asked groggily. "I need to make you lunch." She nodded. "Well don't leave me alone. I wanna come with you." she yawned as she spoke. I stood waiting for her to finish using the restroom. After she came out, we walked into the living room/kitchen area and there was broken glass from her tv and vase shards too. I put an arm out to stop her from walking forward, then I went and got the broom and dustpan to clean it up. Once I was done, she wanted to help make lunch which I let her since she didn't want to be alone. Once we finished making Gimbap, we sat down and ate lunch in the quiet. I took our dishes to the sink and washed them afterwards. I walked toward the living room noticing her standing there shaking a little. "Are you... O-okay Minji?" she started shaking her head. "No, I'm not Y/n." I sighed. I... I want to hold her. No that is wrong I shouldn't 'want' to hold her. I walked forward unsure of what I was hoping for, and I opened my arms to her, which she actually accepted. I snuggled my nose in her hair taking in her scent. "It's going to be okay Minji." She started sobbing harder against me. "I need to buy a new tv now thanks to him and that vase was my mothers." she trembled at the end. "it's okay Minji. I can replace them for you if you want?" She shook her head. "No, I need to buy this myself." she sat up wiping her eyes, she gasped like she just realized something. "Oh my god! you are a deviant, aren't you?" I couldn't make eye contact at first, but she turned my face towards hers. "Yeah. I did it for you because he was gonna... he was gonna hurt you and I couldn't bear the thought." she gasped again a smaller one this time, but she then leaned in and kissed my cheek. "Thank you, Y/n." she hugged me. I finally can put a name on this feeling she is making me have. I love her, I am deeply in love with this girl, and she was going to be the death of me. She is my starlight.
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A/n: My god this took me a lot longer than I anticipated but hopefully you all enjoy. I will make another part to this, and I promise it'll be good and a little smutty... 😉
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Yet another average day in Family Video:
"Hey. Remember when you said that you'd totally fuck Jonathan."
"When...? Oh, yeah. What the fuck that was literally a month ago why are you mentioning that now?"
"Because that was the same conversation we decided to get the matching tramp stamps. And trying to hide those from my parents is a literal pain in the ass. Pun fully intended. I can't even sit straight and-"
"I'd say you can't do anything straight"
"Not like I can do anything str- fuck you"
Steve swaggers to the back and takes out the whiteboard they purchased together - on ROBIN'S SUGGESTION may he add.
"Can't believe you're losing in your own game. About bad jokes. And being gay. Which are basically your two only personality traits."
Robin's side is embarrassingly empty. He sees it as cosmic karma for her you-suck-game during their scoops ahoy era.
"Alright mister little bitch"
"And yet, this little bitch is beating you in your own game"
Robin shows him the finger. Steve bites the finger because he is a little shit and things like boundaries and personal space have already lost all meaning between the two of them.
In this moment the front doors open. The elderly man takes one look at the scene before him and leaves without a word.
"Where did the Jonathan thing come from?"
"Dunno. I was bored. Thought it'd be funny to see you go through a gay crisis."
"Not much of a crisis if I already admitted to it."
"You're no fun."
"Really? That was not what my dad said three months ago. According to him I am a fucking joke."
"Coming from Harrington Senior that's honestly a compliment"
"Please remind me of that the next time I radio you at 3 am. Who is on tape duty?"
"I did it last time."
"Alright" Steve nods towards the small pile of romcoms they have pointedly not been reshelving for the last half an hour. "Enjoy your alone time in the romance section."
"Do you think it would be an invasion of privacy if we checked who returned all that? It was either an epic girls night of an awful breakup." Her voice gets fainter as she moves to the back of the store.
"Nah. We're in the land of the free or whatever. Wait, let me do it"
"You're only saying that so you can procrastinate asshole"
"Does that mean you don't want to know who took them? Because I promise you, you really really do."
"Don't ask if you already know the answer dingus"
"Guess"
"Ummm....power bottom."
"What?"
"Like with Jonathan. Would you rather he call the shots or the other way around?"
She makes a series of incomprehensible movements that are probably supposed to represent intercourse between two men.
"This is the reason god made you a lesbian"
"And thank him for that. Amen."
"Why are you so obsessed with Jonathan anyway."
"You're deflecting"
"Yeah sure, I am deflecting. C'mon, Buckley. Resume or later?"
"Who was the one who took all the romcoms?"
"If I tell you, will you tell me what's really going on?"
"Depends on your answer."
"I thought you weren't interested in my sex life? Every time-"
In this moment the door opens again. Two girls come in, arm in arm. One is wearing a look that can only be described as disgust, the other is clearly trying to hold in laughter with moderate success.
Over the course of many painful months of customer service (plus surviving an interrogation by the actual Russian secret service) Steve and Robin have developed the ability to hold entire conversations without speaking a single word. It is a very neat talent to have when they want to make fun of someone right in front of them. It is less neat when he is the target.
Robin raises her brows. C'mon dingus, tell these random ass girls about your sex life since you're so proud of it.
Steve frowns in response. Yeah, sure Mrs. Never Even Had A First Kiss.
Robin narrows her eyes. I did have a first kiss. Even if it was absolutely horrible.
Steve puts on his most insufferable expression. You yourself said that it doesn't count. No need to be so jealous Buckley.
Robin rolls her eyes. Alright, I want to see you trying to find a-
"Do you have ET?", Robin doesn't say because, oh yeah, they've got actual customers.
Steve solemnly informs them that ET is current out of stock, but that it should be returned in two days. Robin somehow manages to force her last two movies upon them. They leave with a dazed look on their face that Steve can relate to. Sometimes Robin will start talking and the next thing you know you have a tramp stamp.
"Tommy Hagan"
Robin looks absolutely disgusted. "Tommy Hagan?! You would kiss Tommy Hagan? And then you have the audacity to make fun of my taste in women?!"
"First of all: me and Hagan? Been there done that." Robin looks as if her entire worldview was just flipped upside down. "Second: probably not, he uses a bit too much tongue for my liking. I mean that Tommy Hagan was the one who rented all the romcoms"
Robin takes a moment to process this information. Then she dramatically falls to the floor and squirms around in laughter like a bug on its back trying to get up again. Truly a drama kid through and through.
"And thirdly: for your information, I super could make out with Jonathan Byers. Unlike you, I've got game"
"You don't mean gay-me?"
Steve rolls his eyes and takes out the whiteboard again. He is still in the lead.
"And also, excuse you, I totally could make out with Nancy if I wanted to, okay?! I'm just not a homewrecker unlike some other people"
"Excuse me? I was the one who was cheated on?!"
"I'm insulting your taste, dingus"
"Rich coming from you, since we apparently share the same one"
For a moment she looks confused. Then she thinks back to what she said. Steve can pinpoint the exact moment she realizes it.
"Is this the reason you want me to be into Jonathan so bad? Because you're into Nancy?" Steve feels like a smug cat when her entire upper body grows red.
"Shut up she's just pretty okay?!"
"And badass. Don't forget badass."
"Oh my god I know. Ever since I saw her shooting I haven't been able to get her out of my mind."
"Right?! And as if that isn't enough, she has to go and be smart too! Like, c'mon, she has to have some faults. Some downsides. Nobody is that prefect!"
"Oh my god I know! And-"
They continue like that for a while. Time runs away from them and suddenly Hellfire Club is over and Steve's kids (minus Max, he notes with a heavy heart) are barging into the place as if they own it, for no reason other than to be absolute menaces.
"And like. Robin. She was so hot in that moment. I swear to-"
"Who are you talking about?". Steve is used to Dustin being a rude little shit and automatically answers without even thinking about it. "Nancy."
He realizes his mistake too late. He looks up. Mike's eyes are wide in horror. "I hate you so fucking much" he says before turning around and leaving.
Robin sighs. "I guess that is the downside."
-> the tramp stamp conversation
-> gatekeeping 101
-> breaking out of a heteronormative mindset
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breadnabreadd · 7 months
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✦ Oh boy! Here we go.
I created a LMK Au just for funsies. A furutistic, high technologic world with cyberpunk vibes! (Because I absolutely love this type of aesthetic)
✦ the picture above is just a quick drawing I did of Macaque in this AU. I will get into details about the AU while showing a few infos of a few LMKs characters alongside with their designs. (Just a reminder I'm still creating the AU and it's my first time making one. It might be a little messy, so I apologize if it gets too messy--)
Oh! And by the way, the characters on this AU follow the same basic formula as the original characters. So it doesnt have much changes, other than the world they live in, their clothes and a few events.
✦ MK, The Monkie Kid
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• Its the same thing as our little MK from the animated series, he works at Pigsy's Noodles as a delivery boy, is the Monkey king's biggest fan and is his successor and pretty much the basic stuff.
• He learned about the Monkey king with Mister Tang. He is a huge fan.
• Tho he isn't a great expert, he knows how to how to fix computer cases, machines and vehicles and build stuff by using old pieces (he learned with Pigsy and Sandy, just in case his delivery vehicle breaks in the middle of the road or a something start malfunctioning in the noodle store). As we can see, he works more in the hardware part.
• He likes to collect the old pieces of old devices that people throw away in the city's old graveyard. It's like a type of recycling. (That's also how he find the Monkey king's staff but that is a thing I will tell in details in another day--)
• He loves to draw!!! Hooray!!! He also likes to play games. Is always playing video games with his best friend, Mei, on the arcade or online.
✦ Mei, The White Horse Dragon Girl
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• She's a programmer/developer of softwares (Yes I know that in I drawing I said she's a "hacker but a bit clumsy" but actually i wanted to say shes a programmer. I was sleepy, it was 2 am, and my brain wasn't braining 😰😰😰---) with a few knowledge about hardwares. She created her technological helmet system with MK's help. (Her helmet it's similiar to Iron man's helmet from inside.)
• She built her own motorcycle, again with MK's help. She participates a lot motorcycles race just for funsies.
• Loves to play games. I guess I could say she is quite of a professional gamer? She play to win. But when she is playing with MK or with other friends, she doesnt care losing or winning, she only cares about enjoying some quality time with them.
✦ Liu'er Mihou, The Six Eared Macaque.
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• Pretty much same as the original Macaque. (Lost his eye in the past with a fight against Sun Wukong. Omg betrayal. Yknow the deal-)
• Here he is a Hacker/Cracker.
"But what is a cracker?" You may ask. Now it's time for my nerd/TI studant side take over. A cracker it's a mean hacker. The cracker breaks/attacks the systems and webs for their own benefit, which it's for illegal purposes. Now a Hacker it's actually a job, which their purpose its to find the security breaches and ways to how break it, so then they can make the security stronger and prevent invasions/attacks at the system.
With that being said, Macaque is a hacker/cracker. So he makes defense systems to himself and breaks into other systems for illegal purposes.
• He got these gloves that helps him hack things better, he created it himself. He create floating holograms like it's a tablet screen and can hold on these holograms using these gloves. With a simple touch he can steal database from a device and hack it's system. (He can hack machines, computers, tech weapons and even the light system.)
• He got his shadow magic too, same as the original one. Shadow clones, shadow portals... but he kinda makes a fusion between his magic and the technology he invented to himself. (Before anyone say it. YES! I got heavily inspired by Sombra from Overwatch. 😔)
✦ The Monkey King, Sun Wukong
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• Yeah, the Monkey king. The great sage equal to heaven. The silly who made a havoc on heaven---
• HE GOT THAT HUGE MECHA WE SAW IN THE ANIMATED SERIES BECAUSE HE DOESNT LIKE USING HIS KAIJU FORM !!!
But he doesnt use the mecha much. It has been CENTURIES since he last use it. Now MK is the one who uses it because he is Sun Wukong's successor.
• That's not his "Monkey King" royal clothes. It just some casual/comfy clothes to use in everyday life.
• He already knew who MK was. MK is a stone Monkey just like himself. Wukong have been watching the kid grow up from far. He grow a bit attached to the boy.
Sun Wukong surely wasn't expecting to MK being able to lift his golden staff, so he think in the opportunity to make him his sucessor and teach him how to use his new powers. (Yes, I was lisiting to "the horse and the infant" song. How did you kn--)
Oh God. That explanation was long.
✦ Welp, that's all for today!
I will post more stuff about the AU in the future. And I still need to think a name for it...
It is clear I got heavily inspired by Cyberpunk, techwear, overwatch, New Gods: Nezha reborn, Arcane and other stuff. I'm sorry, BUT I ABSOLUTELY LOVE THAT AESTHETIC AND VIBES!! HHHHHHH-
✦ I'm a huge nerd. 🤓
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Gilbert vs. Azel
(crack but also contains some main story and sequel route spoilers)
Azel: (standing saint-like and unbothered at the end of Gilbert’s pointed cane)
Azel: And now that you’ve learned that little factoid, feel free to donate this—(skewers a receipt onto the cane)—exact amount to me. You know my contact information, right?
Azel: [email protected]. I’m telling you that free of charge, of course. It’s common knowledge, but it’s okay to be embarrassed if you didn’t know.
Gilbert: Hehe. As it happens, all of your other contact information is also common knowledge. (Retracts his cane to glance at the receipt) To me, anyway.
Azel: I’m happy for you. That means there’s no need to send any more rando princes to my country. It must be gratifying for a mortal to be so creepy, I mean knowledgeable.
Gilbert: Oh no! I’m not the one mystically window-watching into every bedroom ever, am I, Mister [email protected]?
Azel: May I ask why you seem so envious about that? Your current god complex isn’t lacking by any means.
Gilbert: Well, as you know, you can never know too much. Hehe.
Azel: You’d be surprised. By the way I also charge interest on any pledged donations that aren’t paid off in a timely manner. You will find my rates are completely reasonable.
Gilbert: For a prince.
Azel: For a man with eclectic means.
Gilbert: Ah. (smile deepens) While I’m not Silvio, it’s not a bad idea to attack me through my investments. But unfortunately for you, I don’t pay any bills I can’t read.
Azel: Tsk, tsk. It’s not a good look to lie to an omniscient character.
Gilbert: (pouts) I’m not lying. I mean, this handwriting is pen vomit. It looks like a tiny animal tried to imitate what it thinks a human being writes like.
Azel: (maintains his generous smile even though his eye is twitching) I wrote the receipt out in front of you not even ten seconds ago. Had I known you suffered from such catastrophic lapses in memory, I’d have gone to Prince Chevalier first.
Gilbert: Ahaha! Maybe you should have. He’d have ended this conversation much earlier. With much more blood.
Azel: (grimace) I’m happy we can agree on that much, at least. So in the interest of parting ways as soon as possible… (points at the receipt)
Gilbert: How shameless. So you think you get to order an Obsidianite prince around? I almost admire your foolhardy levels of courage. But I think there’s something that needs to be made clear.
Gilbert: Tigers, you see, are at the top of the food chain. They answer to no man. No god.
Gilbert: Sometimes to bunnies, but that’s the exception, not the rule.
Azel: I don’t contest that. But unicorns, you see…
Azel: (appears to glow under the mid-day sun) …are not even on the food chain.
Azel: (eyes sparkling) They prance-fly in their own pastel dimension, unfettered by this world’s foolish ways and uncivilized biologies.
Gilbert: Hehe, that’s a creative way of saying you’ve noped out of reality.
Azel: (under his breath) Your face is a creative way of saying ‘punch me’.
Gilbert: Hm? What was that?
Azel: (saintly smile) Nothing, nothing. Just praying for you.
Azel: (scribbles an extra surcharge to the receipt) You’re learning so many new things today, Gil. I’m sure you’ll achieve a grown-up’s level of knowledge long before you reach a grown-up’s level of physical stature.
Gilbert: You know, you shouldn’t directly plagiarize insults from whatever is popular at the moment. If it’s too mainstream, it loses its bite.
Gilbert: (dramatic shrug) I really thought a living god would be much more inspired than that, but I guess I was wrong.
Azel: I have better things to do with my time than murder normies, stalk bunnies, and brainstorm funnies.
Gilbert: Are you sure about that? That second point, I mean. A little bunny told me about some very interesting dreams she’s been having as of late.
Azel: (serious expression) I’m glad you brought that up. Can you tell your pet to quit stalking me? I’m a very busy man and I have no interest in starting a harem.
Gilbert: (tilts his head with an evil smile) Tell her yourself.
Azel: …..?
That night in the rosy dream world…
Azel: Oh, goddammit, not this goddamn stupid dream again! (kicks one of the columns) Urgh, that hurts!
Emma: Um, A….zel? Oh hey, I remembered your name this time! Azel, are you here today?
Azel: Of course I’m here. If I’m here, you’re here. If you’re here, I’m here. If you have a cure, I’m all ears.
Emma: Aw, that’s a cute poem.
Azel: Shut-up.
Emma: Right, anyway, I’m sorry about this. (points a gun at him)
Azel: …
Azel: …….
Azel: (watches the crystalized rose on the table begin to rot)
Azel: (sighs)
Azel: Does he want a discount on the bill, is that what this is about?
Emma: (realizes what she’s pointing and scampers to put the gun away) Oh shi… I’m sorry!
Crystalized Rose: (goes back to being uwu)
Emma: I meant to hold out my hand in a truce!
Azel: Truce? I don’t remember being at war with you.
Emma: Apparently we are? Stuff gets twisted around in Gil’s head all the time. Although usually there’s at least a grain of truth to it. But basically I’ll stop stalking your dreams if you stop stalking mine. I don’t know how, but I figure this is a good start.
Emma: (looks up at the dreamy clouds) See, Gil? We’re talking it out. Stop strapping your gun to my thigh while I sleep, please? It tickles and it makes me want to pee!
Azel: This is our dream. He can’t hear you.
Emma: I know, but I heard that if you shout stuff in your dreams, it's more likely you'll remember it when you wake up.
Emma: AZEL IS DEFINITELY THE GUY WE'RE TRYING TO TAKE DOWN IN THE CURRENT STORY ARC!
Emma: I NEED TO STOP CASUALLY TELLING HIM NATIONAL SECRETS!
Azel: (covering his ears) You're the reason I wake up with seven hundred bags under my eyes.
Emma: So... truce?
Azel: Yeah, sure, truce, whatever. (goes to shake her hand)
Emma: (points gun at him again) I'm sorry, I can't let you actually physically touch my hand or Gil will literally kill you.
Azel: THIS IS A DREAM WORLD
Azel: I’m not even going to tell you that your love is cursed. Your entire man is cursed.
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ronearoundblindly · 11 months
Note
♟ and Jake Jensen (shocking I knoe)
Arts and Crafts
No warnings. Pure fluff. WC ~700
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Record-setting torrential downpours for days. It feels like it’s been raining for weeks, months even. You are starting to hate what used to be one of your favorite things.
You can’t nap anymore. You’ve run out of books to read (and listen to). You are trapped inside and ready to start pulling your hair out for the fun of it.
Although a gamer and techie who regularly sits in a dark room staring at a computer for twelve-hour stretches, Jake is also going stir-crazy and loudly announced that he was “fucking done” this morning before disappearing into his office.
You give up staring out the window by 9 AM, knocking on his open door in time with the scratching sound of the 3-D printer.
“Whatcha doing?” you ask in that cute way he likes.
Jake spins in the chair, a huge smile on his face, the kind that lifts his glasses with his cheeks.
“Nothing,” he lies, a mischievous glint flickering over the lenses.
You know better. “You’re bored, Jensen, and up to something.”
Your boyfriend opens his arms as you saunter over and perch in his lap, eyeing his screen over his shoulder. His feet shuffle to turn you both around.
“Is that some sort of longboat?” you guess. “Like the Vikings? Trying to get in touch with your roots, huh, Mister Frosted Tips?”
Jake chuckles while you play with his hair a bit, then he snuggles you closer.
“Actually,” he pushes at the bridge piece over his nose, “that is a Maori waka. Similar, but they made war canoes…and technically the Vikings had longships.”
You hum.
“Dork.”
Jake snorts and sags in the chair, resting his forehead on your shoulder. You simply card your fingers through his short hair some more.
“So why are you building yourself an ultra-tiny canoe?”
“Just an idea,” he mumbles, “and I think I’ve just had another.”
He starts clicking through schematics and typing a new search. After landing on his intended target, he wiggles you—nicely—off of him to load more material into the printer.
Bouncing with new-found purpose, Jake grabbing string and a drill bit has you a smidge worried.
“Hey, pretty lady, you wanna play in the mud?”
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Why you two even bothered to put on raincoats, you’ll never know.
Less than ten minutes into your epic boat race on the raging creek in the backyard, you’re both soaked through and still beaming. The strings make sure you don’t lose your vessels either down the current or to the now invisible bottom.
You keep trying to clothesline Jake while your noticeably faster vessel tugs you past him. He’s hurtled over you a couple of times, hoping for best two-out-of-three or first to ten.
“Face it, Jensen! I am owning your W.A.S.P.y ass with a flightless bird.”
Although enjoying your delighted smugness, he takes a short break to shake droplets off of his eyewear. “Oh yeah,” he practically wheezes, “you’re not competitive at all.”
You stick your tongue out as you pass back to the starting point at the edge of the property.
He jogs, following. “Ready to eat your words?” Jake lines up the boat in the water, his longer arm placing him right by your ear. “It’s go time.”
You release your grip and start running, screaming behind you. “I’m sorry. Did you want a pushover?”
“Absolutely—duck—“ he vaults over you just as your knees hit the squishy silt shore “—not.”
It’s a good show, but he gloats when finally his longship overtakes your waka, dancing in victory and shouting into the traitorous weather. Once he reels in the little boat on its line, Jake plops down in the mud, huffing beneath his dripping hood.
He watches you carefully retrieve the christened ‘Kiwi’ and join him in the rain.
He elbows your side. “Thanks for letting me win one.”
“I can only whoop your Anglo-Saxon ass so much, babe.”
“Love you, too,” Jake squeaks, gently tackling you to rub his goatee on your cheek. Once you stop squirming, he pulls back to wiggle his eyebrows over foggy, wet glasses. “You wanna print a tanker and try to sink it with Roman candles?”
Rain becomes one of your favorite things again.
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from this game of "Comfort My Characters"
Thank you for asking!
Skipping the taglist because this is two in one day and hopefully one each day until I'm done, so yeah, just check back for comfort fics!
[Main Masterlist; Light Masterlist; Ko-Fi]
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aguinhaac · 10 months
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Ugh I ready gotta do this huh? Everyone says that derision is the "worst episode of miraculous" but I disagree, it is illusion
Well guess It's time, today I will be revealing The fifth episode of miraculous season 5 illusion
Pls god save me
We start of the episode as some journalists are interviewing citizens to find out popular opinion about their two idiotic heroes. Really, I think it would be a neat idea, show how the citizens of Paris feel about ladybug and chat noir, it could lead to some interesting drama of Marinette having to deal with the guilt of losing almost every single miraculous AND a lot of people hating on ladybug, making her sick, but then Alya could help her, maybe even su-han. Her school friends could help and it wouldn’t need to reveal, if a friend of yours is feeling bad you don’t need to know what happen to comfort, they. Chat noir could help too giving a bit more of a reason why ladybub fell in love with him, you gotta admit, the square flip was out of nowhere, and with this all plus the people that still believe in her, Marinette would slowly get better. I personally think that it would be some good drama. BUT THIS HAS THE WORD "GOOD" SO IT IS ALREADY DISCARDED AND INSTEAD MAKING ONLY THE ASSHOLES LIKE BOB ROTH AND CHLOE SAY BAD THINGS ABOUT LADYBUG BUT BECAUSE THEY ARE THE "BAD GUYS" THEIR POINT IS TOTALLY UNVALUED BECAUSE THEY ARE EVIL WHILE THE "GOOD GUYS" LIKE THAT PIGEON MAN AND MR DAMOSHIT ARE THE RIGHT ONES BECAUSE “oH LoOk aT tHeM tHeY aRe sO lIkeBlE sO tHeY aRe PrObBaLy RIgHt” THE WRITTERS ARE TRYING TO CONVINCE THAT LADYBUG WAS NOT AN IDIOT WHICH IS A BIG FAT LIE, AND INSTEAD OF GIVING SOME INTERESTING DRAMA THEY JUST TRY MAKE US EAT THAT EVERYONE IN PARIS BELIVES THAT A 15 YEAR OLD GIRL IS WORTHY ALL THE TRUST IN THE WORLD, BECAUSE WE CAN’T HAVE GOOD THIS IN THIS GOD FOR SAKE SHOW. Not even two minutes in… AND I AM ALREADY PISSED
Chloe: ladybug? She’s turned paris over to supervillains, that would never have happened with queen bee
We know my queen, I am so sorry that the writers took your crown and tried to make you look like a butthole, and yet you still there shining, thank you my queen, thank you for being the only one in this show that still have a brain.
We cut off to the program presenters talking more about everything, we have Nadja that I learned the name but I still do not give a shit about, the banana man, alec, and bob roth
Nadja the reporter: And we are back on the set of leading questions on its answers, with our experts You’ve heard the people of Paris, monarch is more powerful than ever, and ladybug can’t seem to regain the miraculous from him, so the question on everybody’s mind is, are ladybug and chat noir the heroes we need?
Alec: the midia has paralyzed us with fear but what we need to defeat monarch is more love and kindness, people need to follow their dreams and have more hope, that way we wouldn’t be feeling these negative emotions, come with me now everyone just love one another-
Bob roth: if you ask me there’s too much talk about ladybug and chat noir and not enough talking about my son’s- I mean that wonderful indie artist XY new album!
Nadja: thank you for that bob, and you mister banana? What’s your take in all of this?
Banana man: stay peachy~
Nadja: thank you we’ll be right back after this message.
Monarch, please akumatize this person and make her beat up everyone in this studio, she deserves it after all this humiliation
Ok first of, experts in what? Bob roth is an expert in music, the banana is an expert in dad jokes and alec is an expert in show tv shows, COULDN’T YOU BRING SOME MORE QUALIFIED PEOPLE? Like idk AN POLICE OFFICER? MAYBE A POLITICAL? OR MAYBE JUST MAYBE ANOTHER SUPER HERO BECAUSE THE AROUND THE WORLD SPECIAL PROVED THAT THERE’S MORE OF THEM? THE HELL? WRITERS THIS TYPE OF THING WAS SUPOSSED TO BE A SERIOUS SCENE, BUT INSTEAD YOU MAKE THE WORST JOKES EVER? IF YOU WANT YOUR SHOW TO BE SERIOUS DON’T MAKE EVERYTING BE A JOKE. YOU CAN PUT A COMIC RELIEF SO IT DON’T BECAME A BATMAN, BUT WHEB ALL THE CHARACTERS ARE THE COMIC RELIEF, IT DOES NOT WORK!!!
And then they play the… alliance ad….
youtube
I shall not make this joke again, I shall not, AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
Kill me, pls
The scene cuts (thank God) to Adrien’s room where Plagg in playing with the alliance, making AA (Adrian alliance) say facts about cheese
Adrien of course gets uncomfortable with the thought that there’re right now a lot of creepy fans being able to make AA say anything they want or make him necked, the HELL was you thinking Gabriel? So, Adrien goes to talk to his dad and have a surprise he was making him some breakfast, and that he was going to the parent meeting in school.
They talk about how they've grown apart since Emelie’s death. No man you’ve grown apart since you became a terrorist. And we have a scene where a little drop of pancake butter falls on his Richard sphinx cosplay shirt and he goes ape shit, but gabe stops being mad and Adrien gets to the point.
Adrien: dad I’m not really comfortable with having my face in all this rings, that’s actually why I didn’t wanted be a model anymore, to avoid that, do you understand?
Gabriel: of course, I understand my son, but that’s the point it is just an image its not you. And since this image frees you from your obligations, we the agrestes are able to spend more time together, but if you rather everything went back to the way it was before just say the word
Adrien: you’re probably right,
Gabriel: you’ll see my son; alliance will bring us closer.
Ugh this is other thing I hate about this show, it can’t decide if they want Gabriel to be pure evil or sympathetic. Sometimes we see Gabriel caring about his son (gorizilla, queen wasp) and other he doesn’t give a shit about Adrien (chat blanc, oblivion, ephemeral, etc.…) and I hate this so much, but I liked that they made Gabriel being an passive aggressive toxic dad instead of just a butthole to Adrien all the time, makes more sense that why Adrien don’t know his dad is toxic, toxic relationships normally aren’t just the person being an asshole all the time, heh bet it won’t last longer because it isn’t miraculous if something utterly stupid happen every 5 seconds
We cut the scene to marinette and alya talking on the cell phone while walking to school with the split screen showing off what they're doing, and then…. They start talking about rena rouge and the lost miraculous……. TALKING ABOUT SOMETHING THAT SHOULD BE A SECRET IN THE MIDDLE OF THE STREET IS A GREAT IDEA, HELL YOU
They talk about how monarch is able to get the jewels back in the last second and alya suggests that maybe he is using the dog miraculous to fetch the miraculous back, which would be a better idea than HE BEEING ABLE TO BREAK A MIRACULOU, AND EVEN IF IT’S BROKEN USE THE POWERS AND WOULD ACTUALLY GIVE THE DOG MIRACULOUS SOMETHING TO DO INSTEAD OF BEEING A STUPID SUPPORT MIRACULOUS JUST LIKE THE SNAKE AND THE FOX. Who am I kidding? The dog will never stop being a support miraculous.
Marinette and Alya arrive at school and Nino tell the group (Alya, Adrien, Marinette) he is going to form a resistance to help ladybub and chat noar without powers. Nino gets the name comrade ketchup and Adrien comrade mayo. The scene cuts to the group in the cafeteria, they get some food, Adrien flirts with Marinette,
Alya: hey, did I just hear Adrien say he wanted to spend more time with you? Woah that awesome!
Marinette: No, it’s not, whenever I’m near Adrien I can’t concentrate what if I lose my miraculous because I stop focusing on superhero stuff?
Alya: don’t worry, I’ll keep you focused
FUCK U ALYA, COULD YOU STOP BEEING AN HYPOCRITE FOR 2 MINUTES?????
Nino then pretend that they are doing some secret meeting which…
Nino: this lunch is just a cover comrade mayo
Alya: comrade mayo?
Nino: from now one you’ll calm me comrade ketchup, I summoned you to this secret meeting because-
Alya: you didn’t summon us to anything Nino
Nino: of course, I did otherwise I wouldn’t be a secret comrade hotel
Breath… breath aguinha… Chloe comes in but it’s just another way to the writers demonanize her and we go back to the group talking and….
Alya: what’s up with the sauces?
Nino: what’s up is ladybug and chat noir don’t have us to help them anymore
Alya: uhh, what do you mean us?
Nino: well, us, you rena rouge me carapace
Alya hits him because he deserved*
Nino: aught, what’s the big deal? We can tell Marinette and Adrien we used to be superheroes
Nino: it’s not like we have any miraculous that could steal from us, the only ones who need to protect their secret identities are ladybug and chat noir. And anyways I already told Adrien about carapace
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
FUCK OFF NINO, YOU LITTLE PIECE OF SHIT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING??? OK IF ALL THE MIRACULOUS WERE GONE FOREVER WOULD MAKE SENSE HE REVEALED, BUT WHAT IF LADYBUG ONE DAY BE ABLE TO GET THE MIRACULOUS???? I THOUGHT YOU WERE ONE OF THE PERSONS THAT TRUSTED HER, AND WHY THE HECK DID YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT THIS IN THE CAFETERIA? THIS WHOLE SCENE DON’T MAKE SENCEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
Lila that I don’t care about but she is a big part of the episode according to the writers comes in and asks to sit down with them, which Marinette says no
Nino: technically we are in the middle of a meeting
SHUT UP NINO
Lila posts a picture of Adrien in the cafeteria, while that Nino explain the plan to the group using yogurt metaphors, the plan it to cause an akumatization and record it
Adrien: isn’t that cruel?
Alya: totally, make someone suffer just to discover monarch’s technique? Super cruel.
Nino: no it’s not, you forgot ladybug always fixes everything in the end with her magical ladybugs
Nino, what the actual hell? Make someone suffer in the name of public good? WHAT IF IT DIDN’T GO RIGHT? WOULD HE JUST DO IT AGAIN UNTIL THEY CATCH SOMETHING?? THIS IS IMORRAL, UNETICAL, AND I BET FITS AS A CRIME. HE IS BASICALLY DOING WHAT CHAT NOIR AND MARINETTE DID BUT WORST, well chat noir already tried to kill so, HE IS BASICALLY DOING WHAT MARINETTE DID, ARE WE SUPOSSED TO ROOT FOR SOMEONE TRYING TO MAKE ANOTHER PERSON SO SAD THAT SHE WOULD AGREE TO GIVE FULL CONTROL OF HER TO A GOD DAMMIT TERORIST? AND THE PHRASE “you forgot ladybug always fixes everything in the end with her magical ladybugs “THE PERSON WILL STILL REMEMBER WHAT HAPPENED BEFORE SHE GETS AKUMATIZED, YOUR ARE BASICALLY DOING SOMETHING MONARCH WOULD DO, FUCK OFFF.
A bunch of Adrien stans go in the cafeteria look for him, but they are able to run away and they go to the same basement we see in “rocketear” to talk more about their plans.
And they decide that the person they would akumatize would be…. Gabriel….
THE HELL? IT IS YOUR BEST FRIEND DAD, WHEN HE WAS FINALLY BEEING NICE AND GIVED SOME FREEDOM TO HIS SON, YOU KNOW WHAT YOU ALREADY CROSSED MY LINE, YOUR NAME WILL NOT BE NINO ANYMORE, BY NOW YOU WILL BE STUPIDINO BECAUSE THAT’S WHAT YOU ARE, A STUPID PIECE OF SHIT.
Stupidino tells Adrien that probably his dad doesn’t care about him and was just doing this for marketing, what a good friend!
Alya: seriously thought, ladybug would never approve this plan. Your with me in this one right Marinette?
Marinette: well, ugh, if it could help defeat monarch, maybe ladybug would agree! After all she can fix everything afterwards
W H A T ? WRITTERS? WHAT IS THIS? WASEN’T LADYBUG/MARINETTE EXTREMALY CAREFULL ABOUT SUPERHERO STUFF? THE HECK? IT IS OBVIOUS IT’S NOT GOING TO WORK, SHE SHOULD KNOW THAT MIRACULOUS DO NOT WORK LIKE THIS, SHE IS THE FREAKING GUARDIAN. WHAT THE HELL, DOES SHE JUST WANT TO TORTURE GABRIEL OR SOMETHING? WASN'T MARINETTE SUPPOSED TO BE A HERO? SHE IS ACTING LIKE MONARCH.
Lila tells Gabriel about their stupid plan, and the parenting meeting begin, Marinette comes In saying she forget her organizatior holding A GOD DAMMIT PIZZA, WHAT THE HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE, she makes a little scene and drops the pizza on Gabriel’s clothes
Wait… is this pineapple?
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🔫
Adrien and Alya also drop some food in Gabriel clothes, and I'm not going to narrate this part, it's just cringe that’s all. Gabriel takes Adrien home and says that he will now be homeschooled again. Really this is the only episode in this season alya is likable, BECAUSE DIFERENTLY OF EVERYONE SHE USES HER BRAIN
Alya: I told you this plan was bad; all we’ve achieved was getting rid of your “BFF”, at best he is the one who is Gona get akumatized
Gabriel, please do what she said, akumatize Adrien, AND MAKE HE BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF THAT STUPID MORON,
They go apologize with Gabriel, while that Gabriel as monarch uses illusion to create an illusion of himself, the ilugabriel ( illusion of Gabriel) starts to regret not being a good father and gets akumatized, so then it was like REALLY useless, because it was an illusion of an akuma, THEY DIDN’T EVEN COULD LEARN ANYTHING FROM IT.
Adrien and Marinette transform and go fight the ilucollector (illusion of collector, not the toh one) and the fight scene is really good, the ilucollector is able to use his tablet like a boomerang, both the heroes and the villain try as much to not be touched, pretty cool. Ilucollector runs away. While that, Monarch then fuses with the real horse miraculous, the bee, the mouse, and the rooster miraculous. Monarch uses voyage to go to the sewers, activates venon, use multitude and became invisible with the rooster, wow man he is really powerful. Grab your popcorn everyone, today we will see ladybub’s plot armor in action. Laybub uses her lucky charm and gain a bag full of shredded cheese. Monarch again uses the voyage to make the heroes fall in the sewers. And monarch paralyzes chat, dude wouldn’t it be better paralyzing ladybug first? You never captured her but captured chat a billion times. Ladybub finds out that there is invisible mini monarch’s walking around and throw the grated cheese in the mini monarch’s making some rats that where there run after them. Monarch then reunites. With ilucollector he makes some drama, gets deakumatized and jump off in the sewer water.
Ladybug: its not too late, anyone can change.
Except Chloe, chole is a brat and will always be a brat. Right Astruc?????
Ladybug transforms in aqua bug without eating any magical macaron, you know what I don’t care. this has already 6 pages, and my pc do NOT withstand something longer than that, lets just get this over with.
Nino finds out that when monarch gives or removes a power a lightning bowl appears, which as I said its not true because that was an iluakuma (illusion of akuma) Alya gives stupidino a hug and says sorry? What? No man you really shouldn’t say sorry to him. The writers are the ones who needed to apologize for giving you such a stupid boyfriend.
Stupidino explains everything to Gabriel and apologizes, and ladybug… says what they did was very risky and… they should not do it again…..
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Gabriel allows Adrien to go to school again and we find out that the whole class is now in the resistance, this feels like when feminists say “we fight in name of gender equality" then some person say "wow cool I'm going to join" without knowing what they were getting into XD
And we find out that Lila is also a part of the resistance.
Alya: everyone wants to help ladybug Marinette.
WHAT??? HOW THE FUCK DO YOU STILL TRUST LILA??
AFTER LYING IN YOUT BLOG, ALMOST GETTING YOUR BFF KICKED OUT OF SCHOOL. AFTER KNOWING THAT SHE TRAITED LADYBUG MULTIPLE TIMES (like in oni-chan) HOW THE FUCK DO YOU STILL BELIVE IN HER. Ok Alya, I will give you one last chance because you are my third favorite secondary hero, but if you screw up ONE MORE TIME, you will be called fucklya.
And this is where the episode ends, wow I didn’t saw that much bullshit in a while now, stupidino is a psychopath and Marinette just agrees with him. I would say I ship those two but Marinette is terrible and Adrien is terrible, they deserve each other. Alya was AWSOME in this episode, except for the end.. and the beggining.... But still ok, The fight scene was good but it didn’t last much. I like the idea of people helping the heroes without powers, but the execution is just like everything in this show, bullshit
I will give this episode a 2.2/10. Life is misery.
That’s all I have to say, thank you for seeing, see you in the next post
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Corrupted, chapter ten: A Sopping Wet Cat - a Malevolent x TMA crossover
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Between elderly Lara Croft and the deeply-adoptable Jonathan Sims, Tim's feeling less alone.
Now if only Bouchard and Hastur weren't playing footsie while Tim tries to find his own footing…
Chapter ten of Corrupted, a Malevolent x TMA crossover.
AO3
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It’s after five p.m., but Tim is sure Bouchard will let them in. He doesn’t even bother calling this time before taking the bus. If Hastur is right, and Bouchard can see just about everything, he’ll know they’re coming.
Tim’s not sure how he feels about omniscience actually being real and belonging to just… some guy.
The gods in this world might be dead, but they exist, and that throws his entire philosophy of life into question. Even worse, they were eaten by something worse—which begs the question of what the fuck a god actually is.
“Is that guy a god?” he murmurs into his earpods.
Who?
“Bouchard.”
No.
“Right. How are we defining gods?”
How do you define a cat?
Tim purses his lips. “Guess you know a cat when you see one, huh?”
Indeed.
“So it’s not just a power thing, apparently, given that this guy isn’t one. Did that mean there were gods without power, too?”
Yes, actually. Hastur sounds warm again. You can be so very smart, Tim.
“Flattery will get you everywhere, blah blah blah,” Tim mumbles.
Hastur laughs softly.
Tim falls silent. He has a lot to process.
At least it’s easier to reach the Magnus Institute now that he can see. The area is truly lovely; old buildings, probably all National Trust, absolutely clean sidewalks (he can’t imagine the army of people paid to preserve that), and discreet little signs that don’t stick out in any way because reputation matters more here than advertising.
“Oh it's expensive,” Tim sings to and I'm so happy. “So damned expensive! Couldn’t afford a cup of tea! Bet the coffee tastes like pee!”
Hastur laughs. What on earth are you doing?
“Being delightful so the poor police don’t come out and nab me.”
Unlikely to work as a deterrent.
"Well, a guy's gotta try." And then Time spots a slight man in a sweater-vest juggling and losing his folders in a spray of knowledge all over the steps.
“Damn and blast!” the fellow announces like an eighty-year-old, and Tim knows who he is.
“Hey, Jon, right?” Tim says, jogging lightly toward him. “Let me help.”
“Oh! Mister Stoker.” Jon blinks at him. Then behind him. Then at him again, looking confused.
Tim turns and sees nothing. He shrugs and turns back, bending to gather papers. “Sorry I don’t know what order all this goes in.”
“Oh, it doesn’t matter,” says Jon in a deeply peevish way. “She’s not going to organize them anyway.”
“She?” says Tim.
“I have been reassigned to the archives,” says Jon with a little sniff, and pushes his glasses up his nose. “There, I have discovered that Ms. Robinson has no sense of order, nor a positive attitude toward anyone who wants to help.” He stops. His eyes widen. “I am so sorry. This isn’t any of your trouble. Please don’t say… er, anything. I’m very grateful for the opportunity.”
Just listening yesterday, Tim had thought Jon was a prick. Looking at him today, he’s certain Jon is actually a nerd—probably a bullied one—who’s wearing spiky intellectual armor to stay safe.
Tim knows the type. He’s adopted a few in the past. “Mum's the word, boss," he says, and hands over a sheaf of paper back.
Jon stuffs them into folders without any attempt at organizing. His face looks hot. “I’m sorry to have inconvenienced you, Mister Stoker.”
“Tim, please. I’m gonna be around for a bit, so no need to be so formal, yeah?”
Jon’s shoulders untense. “You are? That’s, ah, good to know? I’m sorry, but this is after business hours, and we’re closed.”
“Naw. Elias will let me in,” says Tim.
“Oh! He’s expecting you?” says Jon. “And I’m keeping you! Come along, now, let’s not waste any more time,” he says as if the delay were Tim’s idea, and scurries up the stairs.
What an annoying little man, says Hastur.
Nope. Dorky in the extreme, maybe; he definitely knows the type. Tim grins and follows.
Jon juggles folders and keys; ungraciously accepts a hand with the folders; drops his keys; and finally, face red, gets the door open. “I’m glad to hear we were able to help you. Nasty things, Leitners.”
“Leitners?”
“That bookplate. Jurgen Leitner owned evil books—and legitimately produced some of the few verifiable supernatural occurrences on record.” Jon gives him a challenging look.
Tim just wants to scoop him up and wrap him in a scarf and make him watch some sci-fi. “I believe you.”
The relief is visible. “You do?”
“Seen some things. Yes.”
“I’m really glad we can do something for you,” says Jon. “You know, it’s very strange. I’ve worked here for three years, and I've never once seen Elias get involved in any—”
“Mister Sims, what are you doing?”
And there she is—the little old lady who doesn't look like a bad-ass god-fighting machine, but definitely is. She's tiny; conservatively dressed. She’d be cute if she weren't so severe. Her reading glasses hang from a chain around her neck, and though she lacks any obvious weapons, she still has books in her jacket pockets.
Tim wonders which one's the flamethrower.
Tread carefully, Hastur says, unnecessarily. I don’t know what she remembers after Kayne’s intervention.
“Ms. Robinson,” Jon stammers. “He’s, ah. There’s been a, ah.”
"Hello," says Tim. "Your boss asked for me."
Her look flatly dismisses what he says like wiping away footprints in the sand. "Did he."
Jon looks confused. He's frozen, folders bulked under one arm, keys still in hand.
"He did!" says Tim brightly. "So why don't we all go and see what happens?"*
The old woman stares him down.
Gimlet eyes, Tim thinks, having encountered the phrase in publishing a few times, but never before now actually seeing them.
"Let's do that," she decides, and gestures toward the darkened Institute and Elias’ office. "In we all go now, chop chop," says elderly Lara Croft.
He's already inside. Bouchard. It's safe to enter.
Tim would give a lot of money to know how Hastur knew that, but he can't ask now. He smiles his absolute warmest at both of them and walks into what he desperately hopes is not his tomb.
#
Bouchard is waiting for them, standing in his office doorway. Tim feels weirdly justified. “Thank you, Gertrude,” says Bouchard. “Tim, if you please—right this…” He stops. Stares. “Interesting,” he murmurs.
“Are you sure you want to handle this?” says the murderous old bat.
“Yes, it’ll be fine. He’s not a danger,” says Bouchard.
He’s lying. You are.
Bouchard’s look. It’s hungry. What the hell.
“Jon,” says Bouchard, suddenly. “I will need to see you after this meeting. All right? Clear your schedule. It’s going to be a bit of a thing.”
Jon looks absolutely spooked. “Sure, of course, Elias. Right.”
Lara “Gertrude” Croft looks highly suspicious.
“Right,” says Jon, glancing back and forth. “Um.” He flees.
“That guy needs a movie night,” Tim says.
Gertrude stares at him.
“You know. With friends? A bit of beer, or something? Snacks? Everybody cozy in socks? Bras off?”
She stares harder.
“Right. Maybe you need one, too,” says Tim.
Bouchard clears his throat. “Shall we?”
“Sure.” Tim gives her his brightest smile.
She does not respond. Well, now she’s a challenge.
Bouchard’s look has not changed. Thoughtful. Penetrative. He gestures to the seat across from his desk and sits behind it, fingers steepled.
“You really make a guy sweat with a look like that,” says Tim.
“I’m glad to hear it,” says Bouchard. “And please—do call me Elias.”
Tim shifts. “We’re all on first-name basis here, I guess. Tim.”
Elias does a little gracious nod. “So you’ve had an adventure of some kind since I last saw you,” he says. “For one thing, your vision has swapped hands, if you'll pardon my mixing of metaphors."
“How did you—yeah. That happened. Also, that old bat out there tried to kill me for no damn reason?”
She was aggressive, says Hastur.
“I must apologize for her, not that I have any control over her, really,” he says. “The fact is that when it’s time to stop her, I’m going to have to kill her—but she makes a marvelous distraction in the meantime, doesn’t she?”
What an absolutely fucked up thing to say. “I’m not sure I can agree with that?” says Tim.
Yes… I see your point, says Hastur, because of course, it makes sense to him. And she has done so since before you claimed this body, am I right?
Elias’ smile grows teeth. “I see you don’t miss much.”
No.
“I am mindful of it,” says Elias.
I’d guess… in the neighborhood of two centuries?
“Very good! Yes. I’m surprised one such as yourself would be aware of such mortal lifetimes.”
Hastur responds like a cat petted along its spine, arching its arse in the air. I’ve had to pay attention to such things. Human bodies are… regrettably fragile.
What the actual hell?
Tim frowns, feeling the anger rising, trying to push it down. “Hey, old guys. I’m still here, you know,” he says.
“Yes, and that is a perfect segue,” says Elias, smooth as fucking butter. “I don’t know what happened yesterday. I know Gertrude came back with her memory altered; I know whatever you got involved with raised a sort of… fog through which I could not see.”
“So you were watching,” says Tim.
“I watch everything I can,” says Elias, as though this is perfectly normal. “That is how I serve my patron. But I could not see what happened.”
Tim doesn’t care to tell him. Elias just rubs him wrong.
Chaos. That’s what happened.
“Vague, but fair enough. I cannot even see the memories in your head, Tim, which tells me on one level how strong the forces we’re dealing with are—but there is one thing I do see. You have been marked.”
Tim feels… bad?
He hunches a little. It’s not a familiar feeling, this. He's not even sure "bad" is the right word. “Yeah. Apparently, I’m doomed to become a rage monster, la-di-da.”
“This does place me in an awkward position,” says Elias. “You have, in a manner of speaking, been claimed by a patron other than mine, and they tend to be… possessive.”
Yet you have not thrown us out, says Hastur warmly (because the manipulation seems to have worked), and Tim frowns just a pinch harder.
“Naturally. I’ve never seen anything like this—which means, I fear, that you are practically catnip for me.”
And the two old assholes laugh, and Tim has almost had enough.
(But should he have had enough?)
(Wouldn’t he be more patient with this nonsense, normally?)
“Right,” Tim says. “So. I’m going to assume you also saw what happened at the police station.”
“I did. Most unfortunate.”
"We had something of a plan about that."
“Yes, and I may be able to help you with it—if you’re willing to make a deal.”
Here we go again, Tim thinks. “If you’re already watching, what difference does it make?”
“All the difference. It changes your perception of events, and alters how you feel. It becomes a gift to my patron—given under duress, which is even better—and thus, empowers me.”
Tim stares. “At least you’re honest.”
Surprisingly honest, says Hastur darkly.
Elias shrugs. “The fact is that you're difficult to see into, which is... unusual for me. Surface thoughts are easy; but I don't even know your name.”
He didn’t mean Tim. “You don’t know?”
“I can’t see it. I can see his memory of himself, but not his name—it’s clouded, even in your mind.”
We really are catnip to this guy, Tim thinks. “You don’t have to tell him,” says Tim.
I know. I’m weighing whether his aid is worth whatever price he extracts.
“I assure you, whatever ‘price I extract’ is going to be observation-based. That is, after all, what I’m all about.”
And that was weird. Very weird. Because Tim thinks Elias just lied.
There’s no reason for it. He can’t see any difference in face or body language. But he’s sure Elias lied. He’s getting something out of this beyond observation. Anger bubbles, slowly simmering.
I’ve had… various names.
Elias is looking so damned intense. “I would love to know. It might even help me refine my current thought on how to give you some… support.”
“Don’t give away the farm,” says Tim.
I see no reason to hold this back, Hastur decides.
“If you’re sure.” Tim is not sure.
I have been called Hastur. The Unspeakable One. I have been called… the King in Yellow.
Elias’ eyes light up like he just won the lottery. “Phenomenal,” he whispers. “Lord of Carcosa. Regaled in a gown of yellow, twice as tall as any man! Majestic, he glides over the ground to take his throne in lost Carcosa, for he is the king that was and shall be!”
“Oh, boy,” Tim says.
Yes, Hastur says.
“Well… I am, I will not lie, deeply honored,” Elias lies, and does a proper bow as he says it so Hastur can tell by the sound that he lowered his head.
Tim wonders if this really is the better option than cultists.
The metaphorical lid is beginning to bounce on the pot of his anger, clanging, jarring out of place with rising rage—and Elias sees. Tim knows that he sees.
Elias is enjoying this.
Rein it in, Tim tells himself, because this isn’t like him, this isn’t usual, he’s a patient man, he’s dealt with shit like this from shitty managers all in the past, this isn’t new, this… he doesn’t have to… he…
“Your self-control is extraordinary,” says Elias, softly. “I’m very impressed, Tim. And I appreciate it. I don’t particularly want to be burned—so I thank you.”
At least that time, he wasn’t lying.
Tim.
“What?” Tim snaps between clenched teeth.
Please.
Well, fuck, what’s Tim supposed to do with that?
They’re both waiting to see what he does with that.
Come on, you, he thinks. Pull it together. He breathes slowly. Deeply. Shuddering.
“You are remarkable,” says Elias, and he sounds like he means it. “I wouldn’t have guessed—forgive me.”
He is, says Hastur, as though he planned for any of this.
“I think I hate you both right now?” says Tim.
“Fair,” says Elias. “And I’m sorry that you’re in the position you’re in.”
Again—he’s telling the truth now.
Does Elias know Tim picked up when he was lying?
Tim thinks he does. Elias, Tim realizes, is a fucking dangerous piece of work.
You have an idea? says Hastur.
“I do. This is, of course, based on research and memories from those in my line going back some thousands of years. If I understand correctly, your current vulnerability is largely based on… well. Your host’s mortality.”
That isn’t… fully inaccurate.
“As opposed, let’s say, to possessing a body closer to what you had before?”
My original body? There are no bodies here closer to what I had before.
“What if one could be created? How would that affect your situation?”
Tim has no idea. “What, give him his own body? Go all deific Frankenstein?”
I need to… consider this. You say it as if there were a possibility of such a thing.
Elias’ eyes lid. It’s like he knows he’s hooked a fish, and can take his time reeling it in. “Well. You no doubt feel the stored power of this place. That is because we collect artefacts. This particular hobby is not unique to us. I may—theoretically—know of some deific flesh, carefully preserved in crystal. And I may—theoretically—know someone who could potentially use it to craft you a new body.”
“Why would you go to all that trouble?” says Tim.
“Because it will be an amazing thing to watch, and as things currently stand, you won’t live long enough to… ah. I apologize.”
“Scratch your itch?” says Tim, dry. “Get you the fuck off?”
“Something like that,” says Elias, who isn’t so easy to ruffle.
I need to think about this.
“Of course you do. Might I suggest you stay here until you do, though? No obligation, no payment—well, beyond watching you, which I will be doing anyway, no matter where you are.”
“You knew I already planned on that part,” says Tim.
Elias shrugs like a prince. “I choose to be gracious, nonetheless.”
Tim wants to hit him.
Keep it down, he tells himself. You’re not the rage. You not the… whatever the fuck wrath monster. You’re you.
“I offer protection,” says Elias. “We are not, of course, impervious to invasion, but we are far safer than a hotel, or an apartment, or, gods forbid, the street. Three agents I can see followed you here—two of the Corruption, who would devour you with mold, worms, maggots, disease; and one of the Desolation, who… well, to be frank, I don’t know what she’d do, given that you, Tim, are marked—but I assure you, she is not here on a mission of mercy.”
“What?”
“You were followed—and I am not talking about your policewoman.”
“Wait, we were?"
“You didn’t notice? Oh, dear,” says Elias.
Fuck.
Yeah, pretty much.
We shall stay, says Hastur as though the favor being given is them gracing this place with their presence.
Tim realizes with a shock that he isn’t sure his opinion is any good right now. He’s too angry. It’s not his rage. But it’s… spilling into everything. Tim has never felt unsure in his life. This is a horrible feeling. He wipes at his eyes, surprised to find them wet.
“Come.” Elias stands, not revealing whatever he thinks of this display, and heads for the door.
Are you all right?
Hastur seems to mean it. Can Tim trust that, either?
Yes. He knows he can. Whatever else is wrong with him, he knows he’s reading other people correctly, including Hastur. “Not really?”
I will do what I can for you once we are alone.
“More spells?" Tim scoffs.
Oh, the things I can teach you...
“Sure,” says Tim without conviction, and follows Elias Bouchard deeper into his spooky mid-london temple.
#
Elias hadn’t lied; it’s a neat little space down there, in the archives.
Well. It’s a mess. But the living quarters are definitely cute.
Gertrude Lara Croft Robinson is down there already, eyeing them, visibly daring commentary on the stacks of mismatched files, the open cardboard boxes balanced precariously against each other or on chairs, the truly heinous amount of cobwebs in every corner, between every shelf.
“Uh,” says Tim. “Nice haunted house you’re running here.”
“Mm,” says Elias.
Gertrude gives Tim a skewering look.
“No, really,” says Tim, stepping over six sagging boxes and around two piles of unsorted papers. “Get a fog machine down here and you’ll make bank.”
“Yes, well, Gertrude insists there is a reason for all of it,” says Elias as if his kingdom’s condition is of no concern.
Gertrude says nothing.
Tim suddenly wonders if she’s hiding weapons in the paperwork.
The little living area is, happily, free from nonsense. A very tiny kitchenette, a small cot sharing space with boxes and office supplies, and a bathroom with a cramped toilet and sink.
“There is a shower upstairs,” says Elias, “though it is in my office, and you will need to arrange time to use it.”
“Weird,” says Tim. “But okay.”
Elias shrugs. “It is a very old building. James Wright had it installed, so I am to understand, but what he was thinking, doing it there… well. I have no idea.”
A lie. Tim peers at him.
Elias smiles and it is a bright, sharp thing, like light glinting off a blade. “Oh, you are good at that, aren’t you?” he murmurs.
“What—was that a test?”
“It was. Over something I think you can agree, at least, is harmless.”
“Hard not to be insulted,” Tim says.
“Of course—but I had to be sure you knew on your own. I can clearly see Lord Hastur did not clue you in.”
“Lord Hastur?”
“I’ve never met a god before, and I’d prefer to be on his good side. Wouldn’t you?” says Elias.
Tim rolls his eyes so hard they hurt. “Subject fucking change. How can you help with that police officer?”
“Are you willing to do some footwork?”
Tim frowns. “Sure?”
“Good. Then I can send you to a few places which will, in time, lead her on a completely different trail.”
“So you already knew our plan.”
“Yes. I won’t send you alone, either. It’s hardly safe. Just give me some time to make a couple of arrangements.”
Truth. “Okay. I guess. Fuck, this is… Am I really kipping in a haunted basement to hide from maggot gods?”
“I fear before all of this over, you will experience far stranger things than this,” says Elias. “Now—do try to get comfortable. I will fetch you a key, as well as the code for the alarm.”
“Elias!” Gertrude protests.
“He is officially under our protection.”  And there, right there, is the most real Elias has been this whole damn time, because that hardly sounded like the same man. The smarm is gone, replaced with a frankly terrifying hardness, the kind that makes Tim think he could shoot a guy in the face and walk away without a second thought.
But maybe it’s necessary to corral someone like Gertrude. She looks positively raucous for a moment, then glances at Tim.
Tim holds his hands up. “No quarrels with you. I’m just trying to stay alive.”
“I reserve the right to kill him if he tries a ritual inside the Institute—whether or not he knows what it does,” Gertrude snaps.
Well, she certainly remembers some of what happened.
“Fair,” says Elias.
“Sure?” says Tim.
Gertrude nods as if her head is an axe and marches away.
Elias sighs. “I really do apologize for her.”
Will she honor your command?
“For a while, anyway. Her focus is ‘protecting humanity,’ whatever that means, so as long as Tim provides no such active threat, he will fall off her radar.”
“She came after me yesterday," says Tim.
“She’d thought you were attempting a ritual to give one of the Fears more power,” says Elias.
“She didn’t even ask. She just… assumed.”
“In the name of saving the world, she sacrifices people,” Elias says coldly. “It makes one wonder what the value of life is to her.”
So that’s a whole host of unspoken stories. “Wow.”
“Indeed. I’ll send help down with a key and all shortly. Rest, Tim. As best we can, we’ll keep you safe.” Elias smiles (and, oddly enough, was telling the truth), and leaves.
Tim flops onto the cot.
It squeaks.
“That’ll make masturbating awkward,” he says without thinking.
Hastur laughs.
#
Tim did not expect to fall asleep.
It’s not like this is the best cot in the world. But there’s something weirdly peaceful about this place; the sounds of paper rustling outside the little room, presumably Gertrude moving piles from one spot to another (also presumably just keeping an eye on him). The sweet emptiness of being underground, with so much stone and paper and threadbare carpet, is its own wonderful white noise. Tim hasn’t been in a silent place in a long time, and finds it soothing. Even the simmering anger seems to be calming.
He yawns, stretches, is amused that the cot creaks again. “Mm,” he says. “Guess this is what monks see in it, or something.”
What—the silence and isolation? Perhaps; though they tend also to be… industrious orders, working far more hours than usual. The time allotted to rest in silence is slim.
“Fuck that, then. Guess I’m starting my own monastery—to laziness.” Tim stretches again. “Hey—why do you know about monks?”
I’ve spent more than one life in one such place.
Tim sputters. “Are you serious?”
Yes. There isn’t much in this world that I have not at least tried, Tim.
Tim sits up. “You really did monk things?”
I did.
“Like… prayed to gods you knew weren’t there, or whatever?”
A dark chuckle. Well, says Hastur. I will admit that I tended to leave such places altered, compared to when I went in.
“What did you do?”
Finely honed insanity, says Hastur, as though recounting a garden he’d grown.
Tim gapes at nothing. “Insanity? Hastur, why would you do that? What'd they do to you?"
Nothing. It was merely amusing at the time.
Maybe Tim is overtired. He should find this beyond horrifying, but instead, it’s just frustrating. “Look, do you even know it was wrong?”
Why would it be wrong? Hastur feels sincere. I am a god. I am no mortal. I am no human. I have graced this world with my presence out of necessity, but I have the right to do as I wish while I'm here.
“No, you don’t,” says Tim, baffled as to how he can possibly get his message across.
I disagree.
“Yeah, obviously, but that doesn’t make you right.”
No? And your twenty-nine years of life tell you this, do they?
Tim has an epiphany. “No, actually. That Kayne guy did.”
It feels like Hastur goes stiff as a board. What?
“If just being bigger than someone gives you the right to do what you want to them, then we’re actually morally wrong for running away from him.” Tim’s proud of that one.
Hastur has no mouth to sputter. He manages to do it, anyway. That is not the same!
“Sure it is. He can, so he should, right?”
I didn’t say should.
“No, but you said you have the right to do it. Well, does he?”
It’s not the same, Hastur insists.
It’s Tim’s turn to be smug, and he leans into it. "I didn't realize you were morally deficient. That's gonna make this rough, Hastur."
I am not deficient. I am morally superior.
"Right. Superior. In being deficient."
Tim...
Tim sighs. “What the hell am I gonna do with you?”
I think, Tim, rumbles Hastur in a low and terrible tone, the real question is what I am going to do with you.
Tim goes very still.
And there’s a knock at the storage closet door.
Tim has never been more grateful for an interruption in his life as he leaps off the cot to answer it. “Saved by the… hey, come in!”
It’s Jon.
Jon, who looks like a gray ghost, who holds out a key, a post-it note with a six-digit code, and a torn-out notebook page with addresses scribbled on it. He looks smaller than usual, as if whatever just happened to him has compressed him right down.
“Oh, thanks.” Tim takes them. “Hey—you okay?”
Jon stares at him. “Did you know there are things?” he says.
“So that’s a nope,” says Tim, who has decided to adopt Jon whether Jon knows it or not, and takes his arm to gently lead him in. “Sit down, already, before you pass out?”
“I am not going to pass out,” bristles Jon.
Tim sits him down, anyway, right on the cot.
It squeaks.
Tim checks a box labeled PAPER, finds it sturdy, and plops down onto it. “You okay?” he says again.
“There are… there are fear gods.”
Poor guy. “Apparently so. Might help to talk it out, yeah? Why don’t you start at the beginning? Was it Elias?”
“Oh, gods, yes it was Elias.” Jon puts his face in his hands.
Hastur finds Jon’s distress funny. The chuckle is soft, dark, cruel; it makes Tim angry—and he’s pretty sure this anger is his, not some stupid Desolation’s. Still, he takes a moment to force it down. “Yeah. I did know, little buddy, but only for about… two days? Or so? I’m losing track.”
“Oh,” says Jon.
What the hell had Bouchard done up there? “I’m guessing your boss filled you in.”
Jon looks forlorn. “One of them’s got me already, apparently?”
Accidental priest. “He just went full info-dump, didn’t he?” says Tim, who feels utterly justified in disliking that guy. “I’m sorry. I’m still wrestling with it all myself.”
“He says one of them’s got you, too,” says Jon. “And I am… I’m to go with you as we leave today, and as we gather what is necessary to distract… police? From your trail? Then retreat back to the Institute as quickly as possible.”
TIm blinks slowly. “He’s sending you?”
Jon reddens. “Yes. He says I… he says. I…”
“Hey, it’s okay. Hey. You can tell me whatever. Just verbally process, I don’t care."
Tim, we don’t have time to play therapist.
Tim ignores him. “What happened, Jon?”
“I tried to quit to prove him wrong,” says Jon. “I couldn’t.”
“Okay,” says Tim. “That’s horrible.”
“I wouldn’t have believed him except he knew about Mister Spider,” says Jon.
“Okay,” says Tim. “Do I want to know what that is?”
Jon stares. “Can we go? I… I don’t think I can sit here and think too much about this right now.”
“Sure, all right. We can talk later,” says Tim. “But—no offense—why is he sending you?”
“Oh. Because I saw who was following you this morning.”
Tim blinks. “You did?”
“Three of them. Two looked quite ill, but one just looked… angry. They all made me nervous; I’d assumed you knew, but Elias said you didn’t.”
Remarkable, says Hastur. He truly is in tune with the Beholding.
“I didn’t see them,” says Tim. “I really need the extra set of eyes. I’m a bit of trouble, you know?”
“That’s what he said.” Jon stands (and the cot squeaks). “I’m really not in a place to wield rational arguments at the moment.”
“Right. Well, let’s go, then.” Tim guides him out the door. “What's at these addresses?”
“He didn’t say.” Jon is shaking. His slightly oversized sweater-vest nearly hides it, but he is, and it makes his voice tremble.
Pathetic, says Hastur.
“Do you hate kittens, too?” Tim murmured softly.
“What?” says Jon.
“Nothing.”
Gertrude is glaring at them. “I’m watching you.”
“What?” says Jon very weakly.
“There’s a queue for that,” Tim quips, and hurries Jon out.
“That was odd,” says Jon in a high, spooked voice.
“Yeah?”
“Could’ve sworn she had blood all over her for a moment.”
What? says Hastur. Tim. Tim, I’m going to need you to do a spell.
Tim ignore that. “Don’t suppose Elias told you why I’m in trouble.”
“No. He said that was your purview, should I earn your trust.”
Tim! We need to do a spell. I need to know what’s going on with this annoying little man.
“Earn my trust? Wow. He really is a dickhead, isn’t he?”
Jon sputters. “He’s… I don’t know! He’s just Elias! I’ve barely noticed him in the past three years. Once my interview was done, we’ve hardly interacted!”
Tim!
Hastur’s confidence in Tim’s spellcasting abilities might be high, but Tim does not have that confidence. At any rate, it’ll be difficult talking to Hastur unless Jon knows the score, so…  Why not? “Right,” Tim says, trusting Jon at Elias. “So… the Powers Elias told you about? Something like that jumped out of the book I brought in. It’s in my head right now.”
Jon is taking this very seriously. “Really?”
“Really. Talks all the time. Real awkward.”
Tim, Hastur warns.
Tim deadpans it: “He wants me to cast some kind of spell to check you out.”
Tim!
“Check me out?” blurts Jon, stopping before the final stair. “For what? A new host?”
Hardly. That would not be worth my time, Hastur snaps.
“Naw,” Tim says. “He’s not a swinger. He just wants to see, is all.”
Jon’s eyes seem take up half his face. “What?” he says.
“You know, because he’s in me already?”
This has gone right over Jon’s head. He stares at Tim as though he’s speaking Sanskrit.
Like a sopping wet cat, Tim thinks with growing fondness. “Never mind. Let’s go check out these addresses, yeah?”
He’s an idiot, Hastur declares. Mentally deficient.
Is Hastur jealous? He feels jealous.
“Sure,” says Jon weakly.
“It’s gonna be okay,” says Tim, and pats him on the shoulder.
Hastur growls quietly.
New game, thinks Tim, because how could he not, and follows Jon into the lobby.
13 notes · View notes
aswho1estuff · 1 year
Text
How to: lose a guy in 10 ways
4. Chanel #2 like ..perfume
Plot: Since Carmen saw Rodrick he had her full attention, unfortunately for her she wasn’t alone his attention was caught too. Unrequited love to the second power I guess if you can’t beat ‘em join so she did “ I’ll help you”.
Summary: diary entry/ rodrick wants to meet me
Masterlist
Playlist
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
youtube
Rodrick pov
“Okay so how we gonna do it” “Michael that was a stupid question” I say picking up a fry “you have no plan I see, well I would talk to someone close to her” mashing my eyebrows “close…you mean her friend?, alright” smiling I hit him.
I throw away my trey trying to catch up with her friend “hey, hey, hey” shit what’s her name “Chanel number ..2?” she turns around scowling “fuck you say”.
Carmen pov
“Something bad is bout to happen to me”
Rodrick? Fuck I fix my expression “please don’t call me that” i reply curtly “oh yeah sorry about that” he rubs his neck cute no Carmen just no “not to be mean but was there anything you wanted” I raise my eyebrow probably my best friend huh“ well can you meet me after school it’s somewhat important please” he practically begs gosh “alright, see you then” turning back I resume walking to class.
“I don’t know it but I feel it coming”
“Okay start on those sketches have fun” the teacher states ending her discussion. Picking up my pencil I contemplated I’ll just fill it with things I like cheese yes, flowers yes, green yes, tails from sonic yea, baseball players and their outfits yes yes and definitely yes uh huh.
“…hey can I sit here” a head of blond hair pops into my frame “sure” I nod at him fuck I hope he didn’t see me drooling over baseball outfits.
Looking over I see him take glances at my sketch looking at him now I think that’s Mickey he’s totally involved in the school and stuff which is cool he’s quite cute “nice choice to grow it” I think nodding.
“Oh thank you” fuck I said that out loud I turn straight ahead “no problem” I pretend to draw maybe it’ll workout the embarrassment. “Can I ask you something?” I nod anything but the baseball anything but the ducking baseball please.
Mikey pov
“Might be sad”
“Do you play baseball?” I ask smoothing my hair over “oh..I don’t play but I like the sport” she reply’s low looking at me “nice what’s your team?” Pretty brown eyes filled with surprise and …sadness?.
“Might leave my nose running”
“I prefer not to pick sides, you know” bashful is a cute expression on her so much it would rival the dwarf. Smiling “yeah I definitely understand, we have a team you should tryout” tryout or just come to see me either is nice “oh thank you I’ll think about it” never been declined so cutely.
“Just hope she don’t wanna leave”
Carmen pov
“Don’t you give me up”
“Hey your here” rodrick reply’s from leaning on the doorway “yes, what did you need?” looking at him “well I’d prefer we talk about business in here shall we” I nod walking into class watching him close the door.
Sitting down he follows suit I stare at him blankly he couldn’t be more obvious “well your friend Chanel I would like to get to know her” “and I’m guessing you want my help” she has liked the look recently who am I to cockblock right.
He could be a contender but “what do I get out of this” ..man I gotta stop thinking out loud “well you scratch my back I scratch yours..I’ll help you with your crush, who is it?”.
“Something bad is bout to happen to me”
“I can’t just tell you things like that gosh” panicked I scramble for words “I wouldn’t snitch promise” rodrick reply’s showing his pinkie I slowly raise mine to meet his ….they’re soft almost like I imagined, so soft I begin to lose my will closing my eyes “I-”.
“I just don’t want her to leave”
The door opens revealing Mikey I pull away from rodrick shocked gripping my chest “ sorry about that yall” Mikey let’s out grabbing his bag waving me and rodrick return it.
“Mister class president nice choice” rodrick throws out “what?” I ask fixing myself “I didn’t know he’d be your type but it’s obvious seeing your reaction”.
“Only you darling only you babe”
why was I so nervous, was it because I like rodrick or because I don’t want anyone to see me like him like this, talking with rodrick only on the basis of Chanel.
“Only you darling”
Love, is it always such a bitter pill to swallow
“Let bad thoughts linger for far too long”
“I’ll help you but don’t think I’m just gonna pimp out my friend alright”
“Alright and I’ll help you”
“…yeah”
Masterlist
<-{3. Chanel ..like …the brand}
{5. Carmen like San Diego ik}->
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quandaryqueen · 2 years
Text
Desperate measures
Arkham Riddler X Reader
Wherein in desperation, you asked for the Riddler's protection to avoid Lex Luthor's wrath.
Inspired by a little anecdote from my father after my country's election. It's interesting how people with power can do such things.
Anxiety had you seized by the neck and in desperation, you claw and flail and managed to arrange a meeting with world renowned Riddler. The delightful fella, though scoring 4/10 in endurance and strength, he was your only hope, which says a lot in your situation.
You needed all the help you can get and you were no choosing beggar. The Riddler is the only one you knew would cross Luthor's path in an opposing manner and does so without getting scathed... Severely.
Where else would you get help? Of course there's always Batman but he would no doubt look into your fair share of crimes. Why else would you have been formerly affiliated with Luthor? Everyone associated with Luthor would eventually get their hands dirty. Well, if you'd ask anyone else, namely Penguin or any other of the Rogue's gallery, a lot of them are partial to swear fealty to him, but it's best not to take risks. And by hell, you would rather meet whatever Lex has in stored rather than getting yourself involved with the Joker.
And so, the Riddler it is. He wasn't easy to track and definitely didn't make it easy for you to contact him. But like I said, in desperation you deployed all your connections and took advantage of it. Once you took a hold of him, he was feeling extra spiteful and haughty to entertain you for a meeting. He was particularly vague about meeting you, constantly contradicting himself to make further complication in your brain. He is the Riddler after all, and he loves his mind games, but you were having none of his fuckery.
"If you accept my proposal I will sponsor whatever project you're making."
"Oh?" For once, he actually lent you his full attention, having been hit with a advantageous opportunity. He scoffs. "Do tell me more."
And so, arrangements were made and you spared no expense to cater to the Riddler. You had yourself a reservation at Dorsia, a one hell of a difficult feat considering the bastards there are a bunch of pricks and are always fully booked by rich assholes... Well, fellow rich assholes anyways.
You've dolled yourself up for the occasion, but nothing too flashy, lest should you outshine the Riddler he would hold off his end of the deal, as he does have a one hell of an ego. It's as simple as it gets, simple enough to meet the standards of the restaurant's dress code anyways.
He arrives in a fashionably late manner, much to your dismay but you expected this. Apparently, it's his time you're consuming.
"Mister Nygma, pleasure to see you." Your gaze says otherwise, you looked as if you were holding yourself back. As you should.
"Oh please, my friends call me Eddie,," He seats himself in from of you, his chair being pulled and pushed for him. He leans by forward, his elbow on the table and chin on his palms. There was this sickly grin in his face, that cocky little prick. "So... About this proposal... Explain yourself. Why oh why are you contacting little ol' me?"
As you were about to open your mouth, he interjects. "Let me make an educated guess: You are asking for my help because of the recent little fuck up you made that cost Luthor's presidency? After all, he had received your full reassurance that he would be winning with your promotions and such, that he has I've you a rather handsome amount of cash, only for him to lose... Am I correct?"
Well, he certainly hit a nail on that. So you nodded. This seems to satisfy him, stroke his ego even, especially when you showed a quick glimpse of shock at his accuracy.
"Of course I'm right. I always am. You are at least competent enough to think I am the best choice to protect you. Props to you for recognising my genius, people these days can hardly recognise my brilliant self. What a bunch of Imbeciles..."
You interject before he can further stray away from the topic, god knows if the meeting would lengthen yo a degree that the sole purpose of the meeting would be forgotten.
"If I may... Edward.." You were rather hesitant to say his name, it's almost you were starting to question whether you made the right choice or not. But alas, you were in too deep to consider changing courses. God knows if you haven't done anything, Luthor might strike again. "Let's discuss the exchange that will be happening between us. I don't want to waste any more time." You firmly asserted, but with that nervous time of yours, it made you look extra pathetic. And unfortunately, Nygma took notice of it.
"Cute..." He patronises, looking down at you from the tip of his nose.
You chose not to address his insult. You swallow your pride and proceeded with your purpose.
"I need to know that you swear your fealty to me." You hated how pathetic you are. Despite your attempt at being firm, choosing dominant words and such, but you know that he knows he has the upper hand here and he doesn't even have to try. "In return, I will reward your loyalty to me by sponsoring your projects, but know that these will only be anonymous exchanges meaning, you are cannot name me as your sponsor."
"Any projects?"
"Yes. Anything."
You watch him lean his back against his seat, pinching his chin between his thumb and index finger. You hated how theatrical he has to be just to keep you waiting and you know he finds delight to see you desperate for him.
You fear your statement was unsatisfactory, and so you added, "Please, I'm begging you. Luthor had  sent me a casket this morning and I fear for my safety."
The Riddler raises a brow in amusement. To resort to appealing to him with your state of safety, as if he'd care about your fickly little life.
"And?" Fucking hell, will this man ever be satisfied?
"You're the only individual I know that Luthor won't cross. I know that the man intimidated by you and you're just the perfect man for me." If you had to kneel, you'd do it in a heartbeat.
"Buttering me up, Y/N? I'm flattered, my dear..." My, my, you threw in some praises for good measure. He admits, you're a cute little thing, so pathetic and small. Looking at you makes him feel an air of superiority.
You looked up at him when he hums, as if he had concluded a thought. Your leg bounced from under the table from the immense anxiety that had wrung the better sense of judgement out you mind.
"It is settled. I will make sure that the phony shan't touch a hair on that pretty little head of yours. I've always hated the guy anyways." He says with a cocky smile, voice dropping to a low tone. "I must admit, Mx. Y/N, I never could have thought that I'd be your first choice. You see, people like you would resort to seek protection from fellow wealthy people by recruiting the worse of ideas. Namely, Penguin, or Two-face or if you are as dumb as a rock, Joker. It's good that you recognise the genius I am.
"Now, let's order shall we? I'm quite famished."
And so begins your partnership with The Riddler.
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pesterloglog · 1 month
Text
Harry Anderson Egbert, Vriska Serket, Vrissy Maryam-Lalonde, John Egbert, Tavros Crocker
Page 195-196
DO YOU LAND ON YOUR FEET ARE YOU TENSE WHEN YOU SENSE THERE'S A STORM IN THE AIR
HARRY: ok everyone, my dad's calling.
HARRY: if he finds out you're here then he will definitely put two and two together, so PLEASE just keep quiet and let me do the talking.
VRISKA: Sure thing.
HARRY: er,
HARRY: hi dad.
VRISKA: HI JOHN!!!!!!!!
VRISSY: Hi Mister Eg8ert!!!!!!!!!
HARRY: oh god dammit.
HARRY: um.
HARRY: so.
HARRY: i guess.
HARRY: first of all,
JOHN: HELLO SON!
JOHN: I AM
JOHN: SO
JOHN: VERY
JOHN: PROUD OF YOU!!!!!!!!
HARRY:
JOHN: PHEW, that felt good to say.
JOHN: or to yell, i guess. heheh.
JOHN: sorry about that, harry anderson.
JOHN: i just didn't think i'd be seeing your handiwork all over the news quite so soon!
HARRY: so...
HARRY: you know about it.
JOHN: yep! you think i wouldn't have recognized your school?
HARRY: right... and you're not like... mad? about the dead body and vriska and stuff?
JOHN: son,
JOHN: it looks like you tried to pull one of the biggest pranks i can think of.
JOHN: and it backfired!
HARRY: y... yeah.
JOHN: but that's ok!!!
JOHN: it could have happened to the best of us.
JOHN: ok, so maybe it wasn't the most original idea.
JOHN: and you should probably have steered clear of such a blatant nod to weekend at bernie's without seriously planning some of the logistics in advance.
JOHN: i know that they make it seem so easy in that movie, but it's important to remember that not everything on the big screen translates easily to real life.
JOHN: ESPECIALLY when dead bodies and clowns are concerned.
JOHN: but these are all mistakes that any amateur prank master has to make some time.
JOHN: and besides, you managed to keep quiet about it the whole time we were chatting earlier. i was completely fooled!
JOHN: but you had to get one up on the prankster's gambit against me someday. honestly, it feels like an early birthday present or something!
JOHN: so i guess what i'm saying is that... you should be proud of yourself.
HARRY: ok dad.
HARRY: um, thanks.
JOHN: so. you're still at your mother's house?
HARRY: yeah... i couldn't think where else to go.
HARRY: you obviously just heard, but both vriskas are here. tavros too.
HARRY: i think the girls are fighting? i don't really know. it's very confusing due to the fact that there are... well.
JOHN: two of them?
HARRY: yeah.
HARRY: i think two vriskas is more than enough for anybody.
JOHN: heh. two vriskas is NOTHING.
JOHN: when i was your age i lost count of all the vriskas i had to keep track of.
JOHN: it was probably some preposterous number.
HARRY: hahaha.
JOHN: and tavros? is he ok?
HARRY: i think so.
HARRY: he seems his, uh,, usual self,,,
JOHN: now, harry anderson, i know that you and tavros haven't always gotten along.
JOHN: but i am going to have to ask you to try and look out for him for the time being.
JOHN: your uncle jake and i... well, i'll explain later.
JOHN: let's just say that gamzee isn't the only family member jane is losing today.
HARRY: dad... if you wanted me to KILL tavros, you only had to ask.
TAVROS: (Um,,,)
HARRY: couldn't resist.
JOHN: can you see out of the window?
HARRY: yeah, i'm looking right now. the place is heaving with reporters.
JOHN: i thought so. the press didn't take long to come to the same conclusion i did. you're on the news already.
JOHN: and it's the same story here. people with cameras are crawling all over the yard.
JOHN: which means jane's secret police are there too. the drones won't be far behind.
HARRY: oh fuck.
HARRY: sorry, i mean. oh... farts.
JOHN: harry anderson egbert.
JOHN: the word "fuck" was invented for moments like this.
HARRY: haha?
JOHN: but anyway, you need to get out of there, fast.
JOHN: try to create some kind of distraction or something, and then head for the bell tower.
HARRY: you mean the one they hang the dirk strider memorial effigy from every year?
JOHN: yes, that's the place.
JOHN: i'll meet you guys up there.
HARRY: um,
HARRY: ok dad.
JOHN: oh, and harry?
JOHN: just some small pieces of advice.
JOHN: some guidelines that any budding prankster or newly fledged fugitive should know.
JOHN: don't panic,
JOHN: don't make a scene,
JOHN: and whatever you do...
JOHN: don't get caught!!
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Text
☆Welcome To Weridworld☆
~The reality of running the cookie kingdom~
Before we go any further, might I introduce to a new Oc, Mei Cookie, my cookiesona. I'll show pictures of her soon, but she's one of the many reasons you shouldn't give a random person a kingdom to rule. . .
For context, I'm sure all of us who play the game long term, had the thought that actually running a cookie kingdom, wouldn't be this happy, kumbaya, paradise. Frankly, the complete opposite. If you're as far in the game as I am, your cookies fall into two categories, either they be absolute angels or spawn of Satan; and there is no in between. Some of these guys are gonna be handfuls (Looking at all the COD, crunchy chip, and possibly dark cacao), you can leave for a minute and several civil wars are going on at once. I would consider it running the cookie kingdom be like running a PG-13 equivalent to South Park, or a kindergarten for crazed adults.
Now please these scenarios ft. my CRK team:
Mei, showing Milky Way Cookie Weirdworld from the castle: Look around you Milky, everything the light touches is our kingdom
Milky Way Cookie, pointing at the dark areas: Everything the light touches huh? then what's that shadowy dark place?
Mei: Those are the dark lands Milky, promise me you'll never go there. . . Seriously don't go there, we've haven't unlocked those areas and we're low on materials. . .
☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆
Clotted Cream Cookie, to Sherbert, Madeleine and Brute: Let's tell a secret about ourselves
Clotted Cream: I'll go first, I hate you!-
☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆
Cream Unicorn Cookie, to Mei Cookie: Did you hang out with Macaron Cookie last night?
Mei Cookie: Yeah, I did
Cream Unicorn: Oh *haha* I love Macaron!
Mei: Don't you hate Mac-
Cream Unicorn, now angry and yelling: YEAH NO SH*T HONEY!!
☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆
Wildberry Cookie, to Crunchy Chip Cookie: Would you rather kill Affogato Cookie? Or-
Crunchy Chip: Yes, kill him
Wildberry: But I didn't say-
Chip: I don't need to hear it. . .
Affogato, overhearing the conversation: . . . I feeling a little unsafe. . .
☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆
Choco Werehound Brute, playing hangman: There's no Q, you lose
Captain Caviar Cookie, frustrated: Are you kidding me?! You can still add something!
Brute, yelling: I added belt, four earrings AND AN EXTRA ARM!! YOU LOSE!
☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆
*Milky Way Cookie was added to the kingdom*
Captain Caviar Cookie, to Milky Way: Uhh. . . Ya want a beer?
Candy Diver Cookie: ■□■ ○●○●!!!(SHE'S 4!!)
Captain Caviar: I don't know, WHAT AM SUPPOSED TO WITH HER?!?!
☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆
*Mei and the team, driving to another stage*
Mei Cookie, in the shotgun seat: Clotted, can we go to diner after this?
Clotted Cream Cookie, on the wheel: Mei, we're making dinner at home
Mei, tearing up: I hate this f*cking family. . .
☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆
*CODs meeting Black Pearl Cookie for the first time*
Licorice Cookie, shuddering and awkward: I-Is there a mister Black Pearl?? Or-or? . .
Black Pearl Cookie: . . .
Dark Choco Cookie, to Licorice: Are you flirting with the f*cking mermaid lady?-
Licorice, now clinging to her side: She's. F*cking. Hot!!
*Black Pearl looks down at them, annoyed*
☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆
Cream Unicorn Cookie: I guess I'm just too tough to cry
Black Pearl Cookie: Just today, you were crying about snakes!
Cream Unicorn Cookie, tearing up: They don't have any arms. . .
☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆
Devil Cookie, holding an airhorn: Airhorn prank!!
*Devil blasts the airhorn whist Pure Vanilla Cookie is asleep to scare him*
Pure Vanilla, waking up: Did someone say something?
☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆
Mei Cookie: I think we made a mistake buying that blender
Sherbert Cookie, holding a toast smoothie: What makes you say that?
☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆
That's all folks
Definitely want to make part 2 to this^^
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spicler-man · 2 years
Text
amnesia fics
masterlist here  remember me by aileenwood
"Glad you're back," he smiles, and Peter can see the raw relief in it.
My kid.
Oh, of course. That's his dad."
or:
After a particularly bad injury, Peter wakes up in a hospital room with a blank mind.
He's lost and confused until a man steps in, ruffles his hair and smiles gently.
He immediately guesses that's his father, obviously. He's not stupid.
Memory Is All We Are by romeoandjulietyouwish
Tony gets amnesia and forgets his family.
I will remember you. by zimnokurw
“What?” “What’s the last thing you remember?” the soldier added, slightly alerted. “Ugh, I was in my workshop, I was doing a little update to JARVIS’ holo tables. Why?” Tony felt lost and this worried look on Rhodey’s face wasn’t helping. “In the workshop in… Malibu?” “Yes, of course in Malibu, where else would I be? Can you explain to me what the hell is going on?” This whole situation was annoying, Rhodey was acting weird and Tony felt perfectly good, not seeing any reasons to why would he be in this hospital-but-apparently-not-hospital room.
or; Tony loses a few last years of his memory and discovers that: e.g a terrorist blown up his house, he was in a superhero band that broke, and, oh, he kinda has a kid now.
Not Gone But Forgotten by samos7
Peter and Tony are kidnapped and willing to do anything to protect one another. Until one of them isn't.
~
“I get it, you’re starstruck- not sure how to handle yourself.”
“Excuse me,” Peter begins to defend himself but he's blatantly ignored as Tony talks over him.
“Look, I promise to take a picture with you when all of this is over, I’ll even offer you an autograph- but first I need any information you know that can get us out of here.”
Peter is completely lost, but at the same time he isn’t. He already knows the answer when he asks his next question. “Mister Stark, do you know who I am?”
Tony gives a baffled look in return, “have we met before?”
And that was all the confirmation Peter needed. He feels his heart drop to his stomach as the realization strikes him, and he’s certain that he’s gone pale in the face.
Tony doesn’t remember him.
That's Not How You Act by opal_earrings
"Peter was fine. Other than having no memories, he was fine. He wasn’t really hurt, so it wasn’t like he was going to die or anything, and therefore it wasn’t that big of a deal, right? He could just keep this quiet so as to not worry anyone.
“No. I, uh, I’m fine, thanks.”
All Peter had to do was find out everything about his life before anyone discovered he had amnesia. How hard could that be?"
Or: Peter wakes up with amnesia, but this guy in a suit seems really worried about him, and Peter's too polite to mention it.
The Heart of Heroes by SilverDraconyx for Coffee_and_notebooks
Peter has an internship at Stark Industries. It’s cool, except the most interesting thing he gets to do is be in the building. He figures that the internship is to gain good press by ‘helping poor orphans’.
That all changes, when he is sent to bring coffee to the Tony Stark!
As he spends time with Tony and Steve, they can’t help but come to love the teenage vigilante.
Lost and Found Family by puddlesandparkinglots
There’s an accident and Tony loses his memories. This is Tony trying to deal with it while Peter breaks.
I Wish I Could Live Without You (But You're Apart Of Me) by SpaceCowboysFromMars for Detective_Odin_Ashcroft_52
“I’m sure you know him from somewhere, Tony.” She’s leaning against the kitchen counter, studying the frame intensely, like the answer to Tony’s mild breakdown was hidden within in.
“Clearly not!” He flails for emphasis, frustrated. He’s supposed to be a genius, so why can’t he figure this out? “This is a prank, right?”
She scowls at him, face hardening with her lack of amusement. “Don’t be an idiot.” Pepper straightens, clearly wanting no more than to be done with this whole conversation. “Maybe it was one of those college interns.”
He shakes his head fiercely. “No. This must be- shit, what are those called? Something effect... the effect of something...”
A Mandela Effect, as his research would later reveal.
Figured it out, yet? by nokurde
Could there be something worse than losing every single memory of someone you love and treasure? Yes, Peter Parker could argue. Being the person that was forgotten.
Iron Man gets injured in a fight, which leaves him with a (temporary?) amnesia, erasing the last few years of his life. Now he’s left with an annoying kid for a babysitter. (It is temporary, right?) As Tony Stark struggles with his new reality, Peter tries to keep the company running, look out for his mentor without getting himself kicked out of the Tower, and not break down in the process. (Right?)
Long Story Short (It Was A Bad Time) Or AIs Don't Forget by peacockgirl
Turns out magic doesn't affect AIs. Karen is Peter's only link to his old life, and helps him hold on when he gets low. Meanwhile, in Upstate New York, Tony struggles with the inexplicable certainty that he's lost a kid.Until Peter gets hurt, and Karen tells FRIDAY ...Set in that wonderful AU world where Tony survives Endgame, and our boy (eventually) gets all the hugs he needs and deserves.
Nominated for a 2022 Iron Dad Creator Award in The Fixer-Upper Category
Don't Let it Make You Cry by amine
“'And who are you?'
Peter recoiled, stunned by the harsh unfamiliarity of those words. God, did that hurt. He was so used to being greeted with a warm 'hey, kid!' and an arm around his shoulders that tears nearly sprung to his eyes at seeing and hearing for himself that Tony really did not remember them."
A river to skate away on by frostysunflowers
Peter has survived a spider bite, a building falling on him, turning to dust and being a teenager.
He can handle anything.
Except being forgotten.
who am i to you? by wisterispidey for Spencer_Loves_Cherries
He sighed with relief when he saw the suit’s faceplate lift up, but something didn’t seem right.
“Who are you?”
Peter froze. That was obviously Mr. Stark but it also wasn’t Mr. Stark.
Fuhgeddaboudit by SpideyFics
Hesitant, he approached the man, cautiously touching his shoulder. “Sir? Are you OK?” The man moved his head in response to hearing his voice, wincing. He’d been beaten, his face battered and bloody, and vivid bruises bloomed across his cheekbones and crept up from underneath his beard. “Huh?” he said, his eyes fluttering open. “Who’re you?” And wasn’t that the million-dollar question, because he had no clue. No ideas. No memories. A teenager and a man wake up in a cell with injuries, no personal memories, and no apparent means of escape.
How Could I Forget You? by inkinmyheartandonthepage
Tony knows that this kid is important somehow, knows deep in his heart that the kid is special. He just can’t remember who he is.
I'm Peter Who? by inkinmyheartandonthepage
Where was he?
Who was he?
Peter wakes up in an alley way with a throbbing head and no idea who is.
Remembering You by Kevy_Grayce for opal_earrings
All Tony can do is stare at the pale, unmoving form of Peter as hands force his heart to beat and air is pushed into his lungs. This time it’s different. There's no beeping to prove he's still alive as he lies there, no steady rise and fall of his chest. Nothing. Tony doesn't realize he's on his knees until hands are gripping his shoulders. “No. No no no no, I'm sorry. I didn't mean it. Please, don't go, I'm so sorry, I still need you, kid, I didn't-” He's cut off by his own sobs, vaguely aware of the steady arms that keep him up as he curls in on himself. I didn't mean it, he desperately repeats in his head, begging in a way he had never begged before. Or: Peter gets amnesia after a grueling fight, forgetting who he is to Tony.
Nice work, kid by madasthesea
(no summary)
All I've ever known (is how to hold my own) by notapartytrick
Peter Parker fishes out a five. “Thank you.” MJ stows it, feeling like an interaction like this can’t just end here. But here they are. “No problem.” “I’ll, uh, see you around,” he tells her with a little tilt of his head as he turns away. And before he goes, he fishes something out of his back pocket and shoves it in the tip jar without looking at her. He speed-walks out. MJ stares at his retreating back. Then she stares at the tip jar, no longer empty. She fishes out the bills: a ten and two fives. A ten? And– Peter Parker just tipped her twenty dollars.
---
Michelle Jones, begrudging waitress at Peter Pan Donuts, comes across a customer who feels strangely familiar and decides to do what she does best - solve the case.
Retrograde by madasthesea
Prompt: what about the remember me one? seen a lot of fics with peter getting amnesia but never one of tony forgetting anything? could be a nice switch to see how peter would deal with that + tony trying to figure out how he went from a wild playboy to a supposed superhero with a teenager.
Tony gets amnesia. When Peter comes to visit him in the hospital, Tony takes one look at him and immediately assumes that Peter's his son.
Loved You to Pieces by Gingerquery (PeppermintTegan)
But time is on nobody's side --- Peter Parker keeps coming in to the bake shop, keeps invoking deja vu in Ned and MJ, keeps walking out with a sad smile, a coffee, and a pleasant goodbye. Well, Ned Leeds has some new tricks up his sleeve and wants to know just who this strange stranger is. The answer only leads to more questions.
mongoose dreams by sushicorps (Inclinant)
The formidable Morgan Stark - also princess, miniature terror, little miss, baby mo, precious Morguna - has also once been described by someone (actually one formerly existing Peter Parker) to be as headstrong as a wild mongoose.
So at the grand age of almost six years old, Morgan has now decided (declared) that she wants her entire family at her birthday party.
Yes, including her big brother that no one seems to remember.
gone with the arm by turtle_bean for polaroid15
Tony cracks open his eyes again and turns to face the boy, who looks positively heartbroken. “You, uh, don’t... remember me?”
“Kid, I don’t remember anything,” Tony groans, pushing himself into an upright position with his left arm and holy shit - where the fuck is his right arm? "What – my arm.”
--
or, after the snap, tony seems to remember everything except peter, plus the reason that he no longer has an arm.
[bad things happen bingo / prompt: amputation]
The more you say, the less I know by for_the_night
Peter imagined what Tony's first words would be when he woke from his coma. He supposed he'd be shocked by the lack of arm, or maybe he'd just be grateful he survived. Maybe he'd come out with a witty one liner about saving the world single-handedly. He never imagined it being 'who are you?'
or Tony wakes up from snapping with amnesia and for the life of him can't remember the kid hanging around, claiming to be 'just an intern'. Feelings get hurt.
Hold On To It All My Son by for_the_night
*NWH SPOILERS* Tony wakes up one day feeling like he’s missing something. He couldn’t understand why he risked his life inventing time travel for Spider-Man when he didn’t even know the face behind the mask, so Tony makes the decision to find out. He gets more than he bargained for.
“That’s you isn’t it? Wow look at you go.” The overwhelming feeling of deja vu almost made Peter’s knees buckle. He couldn’t go through this again.
Where Is My Brother? by eliotandq
They were supposed to celebrate Christmas together, but neither Peter nor Aunt May ever showed up. And then Happy came and told them the sad news of Aunt May's death, but no one mentioned Peter. No one has ever mentioned Peter, and when Morgan asked about him, everyone pretended not to know him.
Except they didn't pretend and she was the only one who remembered Peter. Her brother.
If This is What I Get, I Will Take it by mikimouze16
NWH Spoilers
Peter had been putting of visiting Ned and MJ because he wasn’t sure if he could handle them not recognizing him. Thankfully, their bond is stronger than any magic spell that can be cast.
Or where I fix the ending scene because it’s been weeks and I’m still broken, thank you very much.
Missing Pictures by rainbowanatomy
Redacted. That’s the word Pepper keeps coming back to as she waits for Peter Parker to pick up her call.
Marshmallows & Chocolate Shavings by spideybegins
“This is you, isn’t it?” Tony held it out. Peter reached out, his hands shaking as he took it from him.
It was the picture they took at Stark Industries. They needed proof for May that he was working as an intern there, so Tony had a certificate made. It was Peter’s idea to give each other bunny ears, but Tony was the one who held the certificate upside-down. They’d barely known each other then, but they’d both laughed when they realized his mistake.
A couple of tears ran down his cheeks as Peter gripped the frame. “Yeah,” he choked out. “That’s— That’s me.”
Peter knew Tony had the photo. He kept it in his lab. Once the spell was set and done, he figured Tony would’ve thrown it out. Why would he hang onto a picture of someone he didn’t recognize?
Peter never told him, but knowing it was there made him feel so important. He should’ve told him.
“You’ve shivering,” Tony commented, just like Pepper had. His anger had turned into a shade of worry and concern. With a small shake of his head, he moved out of the way. “Get in here.”
Or the one where the world has forgotten Peter, and Peter still finds himself at the Starks' cabin anyway. Set after Spider-Man: No Way Home. Spoilers ahead.
The world kept you like a secret, but I kept you like an oath by for_the_night
NWH SPOILERS At 23:37 Doctor Strange casts a spell to make the universe forget Peter Parker.
At 23:36 Tony Stark's heart stops for three minutes. When he comes to, no one remembers his kid, but you best believe he's going to do everything he can figure out why. He isn't going to lose his Spider-ling again.
Missing Memories by Sillysbarka16
Peter lost his memories in a battle and wakes to think Tony is his dad.
Tony doesn't correct him.
Workplace Safety 101 (don’t give a nail gun to the new kid) by inkinmyheartandonthepage
A work place accident leaves May in the hospital where she gets a surprising visit and even more surprising news.
OR
May suffers a head wound and forgets Peter.
Wrong Number by Anarchyduck
Peter sends the text message without even thinking. A stupid meme, something he knows Ned would laugh at.
His phone chimes with a message.
who is this?
I just want you to know who i am by strkhollnd
"Do you ever talk about chemistry with random boys in a coffee shop?" Peter tried to play.
"Only the sad-faced and extremely intelligent ones." the man smiled in amusement.
Or: After the events of no way home Peter is in a coffee shop when a familiar face appears to him
Baby Spider Protection protocol by GNM_dreaming_girl
SPOILERS !!!! Don't read if you haven't watched the movie.
Regardless of what happened at the end of the movie, FRIDAY's protocols are still well in place.
note to self: don't get kidnapped by OnlyForward
Peter gets kidnapped and gets temporary amnesia. When a man he doesn't recognise rescues him in some kind of metal suit and keeps checking to see if he's okay, Peter jumps to the conclusion that he's his dad after a passing comment.
Whumptober Prompt 30: Note to self: Don’t get kidnapped
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answrs · 1 year
Text
asdfhjkl this is fuckin,,,,,, 17 pages of unfinished and rewritten dp/msa crossover. from TWO THOUSAND FRICKIN FIFTEEN. i am not going to be able to resist editing/adding more to this (which is the ENTIRE REASON IT NEVER GOT POSTED IN THE FIRST PLACE COUGH COUGH SELF) so i am sticking it under a cut, pressing send, then going to do errands in order to physically stop myself from spending 16 hours nitpicking it. also tunglr.hell deletes all the original formatting when pasting stuff in so all the italics/bold/strikethrough are missing rip.
please note! this is an original draft and then a rewritten (but mostly just different parts of the outline) second part.
im just. gonna paste the second one’s author note here (written circa 2016) and leave y’all to it:
stern fatherly disapproval I've been going back through the old dp/msa posts and I have to say, I am very disappointed in all of you. honestly, with such pride we take in over-angsting for BOTH fandoms, that there wasn’t much if any discussion to be seen on this is shocking. (Though, to be fair, I just now remembered I wrote this all the way back then and never published it, buT THE POINT STANDS. My inability to write more than ¾ of a fic before getting distracted and forgetting to finish it is only moderately related to this discussion.) At least it’s edited now, I guess? By which I mean completely rewritten. (you can still tell the parts connecting the main sections are a bit ‘eh’ but, well, ‘eh’.)
Summary: Danny captures Lewis in the thermos (as he does) and tosses him in the Ghost Zone like the rest of the town’s ghostly visitors. This is a bad thing.
“dp/ms zone - Created Aug 27, 2015″
The Skulls are driving through amity park, arthur at the wheel, vivi shotgun with the current traveling deadbeat curled at her feet (the rest are at home guarding the mansion), and Lewis in the back with mystery. Danny's ghost sense goes off as this van passes by, almost as ridiculous looking as his parents own vehicle. he looks in to see a large ghost apparently hiding in the back, the two tourists up front unaware. whatever it's planning can't be good, so he shoots in, sucks up the ghost, and flies off to the alarmed shouts trailing behind him. rather than just being startled at a ghost in their van like Danny thinks (though they are, at him just popping up suddenly), the humans cries are at seeing Phantom abduct their boo for seemingly no reason. not even mystery could react before the kid was off, grinning and waving back at them like he'd just had a job well done. the poor deadbeat is terrified, master has just been taken by a ghost hunter but they have to stay with mistress vivi and mister arthur. arthur slams on the breaks, throwing the van around to tear after the ghost, but he's disappeared. the four are devastated, turning back to the hotel, vivi clutching the now crying spirit like a lifeline. immediately they set to work researching phantom, hoping for any clue to find him and their taken spirit. the next day, Danny comes downstairs to find his parents talking to... visitors? clients? they look exhausted but kind of familiar, so he listens in from the steps outside the kitchen. please, you have to help us. phantom took our friend and you're the people who study this town you must know where to find him we just got him back we can't lose him again please help us we've looked everywhere please- what do you mean, phantom's taken your friend? had the ghost finally started attacking humans outright? there was this big flash and he was gone and he was holding this metal thing and oh honey, its okay, don't worry, there's no way that could have been your friend. phantom uses one of our thermoses and it only works on ghosts. but Lewis IS a spirit! how can you be friends with a ghost, that doesn't make sense. they're too violent and unstable to have consistent rational thought, let alone form attachments... what? how could you- how dare you say something like that! we've been paranormal investigators for years and Lewis is our best friend, don't you dare accuse him of being a mindless creature! how can you call yourselves scientists when you're just as prejudiced as all those stupid hunters we meet! if you won't help us, we'll find phantom ourselves, and we'll get our friend back no matter what we have to go through to do it! Danny sits frozen as the two storm out, guilt creeping in as he absorbs the conversation. he'd just done what he normally did on patrol, how was he supposed to know this ghost was somehow different? he was just taking it out before it could do anything funny, but now he was the one in the wrong? (he won't admit he sees ghosts like his parents do, always up to something malicious and never just innocent bystanders) not liking this feeling, he slips out of the house and trots after the group, quickly catching up. uh, hey. i, uh, heard about your friend and I think I can help... meet me outside Fentonworks at 11 tonight, my parents will be asleep by then so don't ring the doorbell. before they can get a word in, I have to go back, so dont be late! and runs back, turning a corner and going invisible before they can catch up. okay, he's just bought himself some time to fix this, he just needs to make some calls first... he'd just tossed the disoriented ghost (Lewis?) through the portal, not dumped him further in like he does with some of his enemies. he shouldn't be that hard to find. 1030 finds the three living members of the mystery skulls standing before the fentons house. at her side, vivi clutches a bag housing their remaining spirit, warded with nearly every spell in the book and some others besides. if phantom tried to take their deadbeat too, he was gonna have to fight for it. the research they'd done that day didn't make their moods any lighter. video clips of fantastical ghost fights helped them piece together that phantom took his captured enemies to a place called the ghost zone. further study had pulled up dozens of reports on the place, from an incident stranding part of the town there. while interview descriptions of the event ranged wildly, the common details said it was huge, green, and swarming with aggressive ghosts. and from the videos of some of these fights, no matter how strong he might be, Lewis's chances weren't looking good. Sam and tucker round the corner to see three unknown silhouettes clustered on the sidewalk ahead. reflexively their hands dart to their weapons, before they connect Danny's descriptions to the group ahead. damn, they were early then. hopefully Danny was ready and not just doing something stupid. (oh who were they kidding, he was always doing something stupid.) as they approach, the dog tenses, and the two humans whip around to stare at the teens. seeing as they've been spotted already, they close the remaining distance with quick strides. the woman is the first to speak, suspicion bleeding into her worried voice. and who might you two be  then? I'm sam, this is tucker. we're here to help Danny find your ghost since he's a horrible driver and couldn't read a screen to save his life. so since you're here already I'll just text him to come let us in. they get a grunt in acknowledgement from the male, but it's otherwise silent for the few minutes they spend waiting for the door to open. greengreengreen EVERYWHERE, no ground beneath your feet to stop you falling, falling... the space scattered with thousands of pointed rocks and green fog twisting through them... and if this is Arthur's reaction, Lewis is even worse off. and he's been stuck here not for minutes, but hours, days. reliving his death over and over, no reprieve from the constant memories. the team is so focused on Arthur's reaction it's not until mystery renders him unconscious they turn to vivi. standing stock still, unfocused eyes staring unblinking out the window, trembling with near invisible tears trailing down her face. because her boys aren't the only ones with memories of the cave, and while she may be the "strong" one of the group, when it comes to reminders of that night her ptsd is no less real. there you are dipstick! I've been looking all over for you! not now, ember, get out of the way. can't you see I'm busy? not until you tell me why you thought it was a good idea to toss a spirit into the ghost zone. are you completely mental? huh? don't play dumb with me, not even you wouldn't be able to tell. he looks nothing like a ghost! it's all we've been able to do by keeping guard, none of us can even get close to the guy with the state he's in! what are you even talking about-! vivi shoves his head away from the glass, calling out to the flaming musician. yell at him later, tell us where Lewis is now! ember looks down at the new human, sizing her up before nodding, gliding away. I still don't get it, what was she even going on about? I mean yeah, I shouldn't have tossed the guy in here, but the rest of that? what did that even mean? I believe I may be able to explain, a voice calls from the back, and all three kids jerks their heads around to stare at the (talking!) dog. (what the hell?) sam nearly crashes the speeder into an island before she collects herself enough to glance back at the window. ignoring their reactions, mystery continues to speak from his place in Arthur's lap, the mechanic petting him robotically (heh.). I didn't recognize it at first from the descriptions, but now I'm here I can tell this ghost zone, as you put it, is one part of the realm of the dead. the place we just left, your real world, is the realm of the living. ghosts, at least the ones that you know, are formed and exist in this dead realm. it's where they draw their energy from, regardless of whatever focus or reason they have for their being. a ghost that spends too long in the human world would begin to break down, the very reality chipping away at them piece by piece. similarly, a human spending too long unprotected in the ghosts world would suffer similar effects, their body fighting against what knows they should not be there. that's why, for instance, demons must be summoned from their own realm and strike deals with humans to stay on that plain. he looks straight at Danny beings that have rights, as it were, to both places may come and go as they please with no ill effects. i, for instance, may pass through both living and yokai realms if I were to so choose.
[anchor is physical, ties to world]
Lewis, however, is a spirit, brought forth and tied to the living realm. he's one of the, we call them ghosts, but imprints might be a better title, that make up the majority of 'ghost' activity humans encounter... well, outside of this town, at least.
I assume the ghosts you know of fall into different types or species, probably based on their power level or abilities. our own ghosts, or spirits as the name here for them seems to be, are much the same. they can range anywhere from vague wisps of an idea to a fully formed consciousness equal to or even above their former human status.
[these former-living are connected to physical objects, vessels, their soul reside in. this anchor, as we call it, thus ties them to the human realm, being a real, semi-physical object. it's a shell of sorts, breaking a ghost's anchor destroys the (self contained environment), releasing and exposing their soul, which unprotected dissipates very quickly.]
as for how this relates back to the idea of realms, well, the lower the power of an entity the easier it is to be torn apart... he pauses at Vivi's sudden realization, dashing to the forgotten bag on the seat. tearing open the pouch, she lets out a quiet 'oh thank the gods' as a tiny pink head pops out, chirping in concern. it winds its way into Vivi's arms, nuzzling her cheek. the woman looks at mystery, hoping that protection he had talked about was working on the deadbeat too. he nodded, as long as they were to stay in this vehicle, they'd probably be safe from harm. probably. I'd also suggest arthur stay too, even if he wasn't already... compromised, he looked over to the teens, still listening closely. suffice to say the scenery would certainly not be good for him. and for him to be the first thing Lewis sees after such an episode, arthur stiffens and the dog looks up at him sadly, even if he knows rationally it's not the you he thinks it is, he won't be in his right mind... it's gonna be okay, arthur. vivi settles beside the blond and leans against him, careful not to squish the spirit nestled in her arms. it'll just be like those first few weeks with the dreams. which i mean isn't ideal, obviously, but we've survived it once already, we can do it again if we have to. and it's not like before where he'd been alone for a year, it's really only been, what, a few hours, a day? um, actually... the trio (plus one) looks up, having already forgotten they weren't alone in the vehicle. i, uh, so that whole thing with different realities your, uh, dog? was talking about? heh, yeah, so... funny thing about the zone is, um. time goes differently in here. so like, an hour here is only a few minutes in the real, or, erm, living world... vivi completed the kids thought ...and a few hours on our side would be... days... oh gods no, Lewis. Danny flinches, another shot of guilt stabbing his conscience. ugh, of all the ghosts (or, er, spirits?) he could have snagged yesterday it had to have been this one. the only ghost in the whole town that couldn't live (unlive?) in the zone and was apparently afraid of the color green. just perfect. good Phantom, best hero. the speeder slows as ember approaches a group of ghosts, floating in a protective circle around an island about the size of a small house. they turn to glare at the vehicle, but at embers dismissive wave part to let the craft land. as soon as the door opens a blue blur shoots out, followed closely by a smaller white figure and finally the ghost child. the sight of Lewis when they finally reach him is horrible. he'd flown blindly until he found a larger rock to land on, one with a sort of raised wall on one side to keep his back to. images from the cave played out in a high definition loop before him, even curled on the ground he could still feel himself falling, falling...
now his hands are digging into the flesh around his eyes, still desperately begging the images away. even scrunched into a ball the gaping hole that is his chest is obvious, the constant trembling and whimpers only adding to the gory display. his heart, golden and whole before, has gone pitch black, more cracks than actual pieces at this point and only held together by the strange atmosphere of the zone. the same atmosphere doing a number on the rest of him, draining his power to dangerous lows. they can see the rock behind him, and not just through the bloody window in his chest. it's been so much longer for him, even without the flashbacks draining him at this point he'd still be pretty bad off. he feels like he's been left to rot, abandoned for days, months, years, only his mind for company. maybe karma has finally caught him up and dragged him to hell, just like he must deserve for what he's done. what else would this place be for, catered so perfectly to his failures? he doesn't know how long it's been, only that he's so, so tired. even the agonizing pain in his chest has faded, his whole body numb. cold. who is he? he can't remember, his mind is too foggy. where is he? he shouldn't be here. why? this place is... bad. green. green makes bad things happen. the green had laughed. not-green had been hurt. when? who was green? why? (Lewis!) L..ew...is? something about it sounds familiar. like purple and pink and warm and happy. but. no. Lewis is black and white and cold cold cold. like him. is he him? he can't tell what his color is. was. are? something is touching him. it moves the dark away and he sees blue. blue... what is blue's name again? it says something, but all he hears is static. he can't move and blue is raining. no, that's not right. blue is happy and smiles and love, not sad, never sad, why is blue sad?
his last coherent thought, before finally fading out, is please don't be sad, blue. as vivi reaches the collapsed spirit, her fear of losing Lewis again somehow worsens. she knows what lengths Lewis would go to before using this form, and that she can see straight through him means his energy is even lower than she'd feared. grabbing a wrist she pries a hand from his eyes, only for the revealed pupil to be a dull and cloudy purple. there's no sign of recognition, though she hopes some of her panicked rambling is making it through the haze. a whimper at her side draws Vivi's attention to mystery, worriedly sniffing the abused and battered locket, which looks like it's one small breath away from crumbling completely. we need to get him inside and home, now. she doesn't have to look to see mystery shifting, the gasp behind them is enough. the kitsune can take care of Lewis, she needs to focus on his anchor. unwinding her scarf, she makes use of the wonky gravity to wrap it around the locket, both preserving its shape and making sure pieces can't fall out when she moves it. with her part done and mystery gathering Lewis in his tails, vivi grabs the delicate package and hurries back to the waiting craft. she shivers as the static feeling of the speeder's shield passes over her, but it's a small price to pay to keep everyone safe. not from the ghosts, who she really needs to thank now she thinks about it, but the reality itself.
the shield, built on the presumption all ghosts held this strange ecto energy, blocked based on the presence of it. thus, the human Danny, locket, and eventually Lewis, all pass through it no problem.
Sam and tucker had stayed in the speeder as the trio ran out, ready to make a quick getaway if this all turned sour. they couldn't really see what was happening outside, but Danny could handle it (probably). he'd call if he needed them. (maybe.)
they kept to watching the last stranger still in the back of the vehicle. well, stranger plus the weird… pink... thing.
“zone new rewrite - Created Nov 15, 2015″
stern fatherly disapproval
I've been going back through the old dp/msa posts and I have to say, I am very disappointed in all of you. honestly, with such pride we take in over-angsting for BOTH fandoms, that there wasn’t much if any discussion to be seen on this is shocking. (Though, to be fair, I just now remembered I wrote this all the way back then and never published it, buT THE POINT STANDS. My inability to write more than ¾ of a fic before getting distracted and forgetting to finish it is only moderately related to this discussion.)
At least it’s edited now, I guess? By which I mean completely rewritten. (you can still tell the parts connecting the main sections are a bit ‘eh’ but, well, ‘eh’.)
Summary: Danny captures Lewis in the thermos (as he does) and tosses him in the Ghost Zone like the rest of the town’s ghostly visitors. This is a bad thing.
The Skulls were finally arriving in the famed Amity Park, having driven for hours now to reach the paranormal hotspot. This rotation found Arthur at the wheel, Vivi riding shotgun with the current travelling deadbeat curled at her feet, and Mystery and Lewis lounging in the back. Perhaps the hours watching mile after mile of fields and trees fly past had dulled their reflexes, allowed what happened next to be, none reacting fast enough to stop it.
~
Danny had watched the orange vehicle with a vague passing interest as it turned down the street, the van’s appearance almost as gaudy as his own parents’. Probably another group of "ghost hunting" tourists, here to putter around a few days buying overpriced souvenirs before running back home at the first sight of the Box Ghost. Nothing he needed to bother dealing with.
But as it passes by, a cloudy wisp escapes his throat, and suddenly it does become his business. Shooting from his post he flies through the van's wall, barely taking in the sight of the big hulking skeleton hiding behind the two oblivious tourists before sucking it up in the thermos. He only pauses to shoot the passengers a quick smile as a “you’re welcome” for his job well done before barreling straight back out, ignoring the alarmed shouts that follow.
~
Startled at the sudden apparition, it takes the living members of the team a few seconds to react, but by then it’s far too late. Phantom’s already abducted their Lewis, their friend, trapped him and flown off to who knows where, grinning all the while. Arthur slams on the brakes, whipping the van around (sorry girl, he’ll apologize for the rough treatment later, but Lew’s far more important right now) to tear after the fleeing ghost, but he’s already disappeared.
The poor deadbeat is terrified, Boss has just been taken, and their connection to Him feels cut off, blocked somehow. All they can do now is cling to Miss Vivi, hope she and Mister Arthur will fix this.
After nearly an hour barreling down the streets seeking the white-haired spectre, the four are forced to give up the frantic searching, turning back to the hotel. Vivi clutches the shaking pink spirit like a lifeline, this is the second time Lewis has been taken right in front of her and she could do nothing to stop it. Immediately upon entering the room they set to researching Phantom, praying for any clue on how to find him and their stolen spirit.
~
The next morning, Danny comes down the stairs to find his parents talking to… visitors? clients, maybe? They sound anxious but look kind of familiar, so he listens in from the top of the steps, out of view from the kitchen.
“You don't understand though, Phantom’s taken our friend! Come on, you’re supposed to be the experts in this town, you must have some idea what happens to them-” That must be the girl he saw speaking.
“But honey, what you’re saying doesn’t make any sense.” His mom sounds like she’s trying to calm down a small child, “We may think that Phantom is malicious, but he’s never directly hurt a human, as far as we know.”
“Has the Ghost Boy finally started attacking humans? Yes!” His dad’s outburst is cut off by what must be three very angry glares, before he sheepishly clarifies, “Er, wait, no, not like that, it's horrible. But I mean, this will finally prove to everyone he’s dangerous! So they’ll stop thinking they don’t need protection from him!”
His mom takes the conversation back over before Jack can drive it even further (if unintentionally) into the ground.
“Okay honey, can you tell me what happened again? When the ghost boy took... Lewis, was it?”
“We were just driving around and Lew was in the back just sitting there not even doing anything and then there was this big flash and he was gone and then he was holding this metal thing and then he was gone too and we can’t lose him again, not so soon after we finally found him again, please-”
There’s a small silence, the woman stopping to regain her composure, the two hunters taking in the information. And then,
“Oh! Oh then it’s okay, sweetie, (well I mean no it’s not because your friend is still missing but), you don’t have to worry about Phantom having taking him! See, the ghost boy uses a Fenton Thermos he stole from us, but it only works on ghosts, not humans. So whatever he captured couldn’t have been your friend, don’t worry. He's probably still out somewhere you visited before and whatever it was was just impersonating him to follow you.”
“But Lewis IS a spirit!”
There's a pause.
“Er, what? No, that can’t be right…”
“And why not?” There’s a fourth voice, quieter but hard, with the same undercurrent of exasperation Danny himself has when discussing ghosts with his parents. “Don’t you think we’d know if our bo-best friend was a spirit? I mean, if the floating and the skull wasn’t obvious enough there’s always the fact that we had to- had to... to...” He trails off, but it’s easy enough to piece together the unsaid words.
Still, that doesn’t stop his dad from speaking, the large man prone to rambling in tense moments.
“No, we mean… How do I say this, it just, it isn’t possible! Ghosts are just too emotionally unstable to have consistent rational thought, let alone form attachments… regardless of whoever they might’ve been based off of in life. That’s what makes them so dangerous to be around, even for us. I know it may be hard to hear, but-”
The halfa jumps as something very heavy slams down on the table. It sounds almost like metal, but what-?
Then it’s the man's voice again, dangerously calm and dripping with venom that makes even Danny go still.
“You call yourselves scientists, but you’re not, are you? You’re too blinded by your own prejudices to be anything more than the next hotshot group we come across, shooting anything just for not being human. Never matters they were perfectly normal before, now they're just monsters to be shot at! Because anything that isn’t 100% human can’t really think, really feel, they’re all just mindless things to you. Hell, I don’t have a human arm, does that mean I’m not sentient? Do you-”
“Arthur that’s enough.”
If his voice is a rock hers is cold hard steel.
“But-”
“Taking our frustrations out on them does nothing but waste time and energy we could be using to find Lewis. And don’t you dare give me that look, I don’t like them talking about him like that any more than you do, but now is not the time.”
There’s the sound of a chair being pushed out from the table, and the woman takes a deep, steadying breath.
“We’ve been paranormal investigators for years, we know when a lead is bust. We came here in hopes you’d have some information to help us, but I can see now it was a lost cause. With that mindset, there’s no way you’d be able to follow the dead’s thought process, let alone accurately anticipate their next move. Ghosts work in patterns just like humans do, we have enough experience that we can get Lewis back without your help.”
There's a deep, resigned sigh.
“Look, I know we aren’t going to change your view of the dead from this, but I hope one day you reexamine what exactly makes you think about them the way you do.”
“Now come on, Arthur, let’s check in with Mystery at the hotel and see if he’s managed to dig up anything actually useful for us.”
~
Danny stays frozen on the steps as the door slams shut, guilt slowly creeping in as the situation unravels. It had just been a normal patrol yesterday, how had it managed to go this fantastically wrong? Just fly around, suck up some ghosts, and toss them back through the portal. How the hell was he supposed to know this one was any different? All he’d done was take out the guy before he could do anything funny, stop the problem before it even started, but now he was the one in the wrong? (He won’t admit he’s much like his parents when it comes to judging ghosts, even when he knows plenty of them aren’t malicious. Guilty until proven innocent, but with his track record meeting ghosts he couldn’t be to blame. Shoot first, ask questions never, but wasn’t that the same thing he chastised his parents for? …No, best to cut that train of thought off right now-)
Not liking these feelings of guilt, he slips out and trots after the two, following them down the street until he judges it to be a safe enough distance from the house his parents won’t see them if they look out the front door.
“Hey, uh, you’re the guys looking for your... friend, right?” He shuffles his feet awkwardly as they stare at him, unsure how to actually go about doing this. Damn him and his lack of planning.
“So, I overheard what happened and er, I... think I could help? Like my friends and I know lots about Phantom… My parents don’t know about it but I can show you where I, uh, where the ghosts go. When he catches them I mean. Except they’re also there whenever they aren’t in Amity so I guess then too, which would be most of the time then? but, uh.” Jack isn’t the only one in the family to ramble, but the blond man (Arthur?) is tapping his foot impatiently and giving him a look that reads ‘just get on with it’.
The blue haired girl, who he still doesn’t know the name of, looks suspicious, but they’ve followed worse leads before, and if this kid knew what he was talking about, well, it would certainly help…
~
Of their group Vivi is generally the one known to be impatient, not one for idling, nor interested in “just going over the transmission again, Vi, I swear it’ll only be like ten minutes, honest.” But right now Arthur is upset, and angry, and an upset, angry Arthur is a snappy Arthur, and also an Arthur that just wants this kid to get to the god damned point already so they can leave and keep looking for their missing teammate.
~
“Right, sorry. So, uh, come back to Fentonworks tonight at, like... eleven thirty maybe? Mom and Dad should be asleep by then so don’t ring the doorbell or anything, it would probably end up being the only time ever that they didn’t sleep like rocks, with how my luck tends to be…”
Before they can press for more information, he’s off like a shot, throwing a “sorryseeyagottagobye!” over his shoulder at the two. They may give chase, they may not, but he isn’t looking back to check. He’s never been great at lying, and if these guys are as actually experienced with ghosts as they say, their questions will likely be a lot harder to weasel his way out of. He’s not gonna chance being found out any sooner than he has to. So as he rounds a corner he flickers invisible, and sure enough the woman rounds the bend mere seconds later, pausing to catch her breath and swear (quite creatively, he must say) as she sees he’s disappeared.
Okay, he’s bought himself some time to fix this, he just has to make a few calls…
Luckily, he’d only tossed the disoriented skeleton through the portal, not dumped him further in like he’d started doing with some of his more... annoying enemies. He shouldn’t be that hard to find.
(famous last words.)
~
Eleven on the dot finds the remaining Mystery Skulls standing beneath the gaudy neon lights of the Fenton household. At her side, Vivi clutches a bag housing their remaining spirit, heavily warded with every spell in the book (and some others besides). If Phantom tried to take their deadbeat too, he would have to fight them for it, and they were taking absolutely no chances.
The research they’d done in the meantime hadn’t make their moods any lighter. Video after video of Phantom showcased his fighting abilities and power, spectacular battles around the city that left buildings in shambles and craters in their wake. But from a myriad of soundbites they managed to salvage, they’d pieced together that after the fights Phantom took his captured opponents to a place known as the “Ghost Zone”. Further searching pulled up dozens of local reports on the place, from an incident apparently stranding part of the town there a few years prior. While witness accounts ranged wildly, the common threads marked it as huge, green, and swarming with aggressive ghosts. And looking back at some of the opponents in those fights, however strong Lewis might be his chances weren’t looking good. At all.
~
Sam and Tucker round the corner to see two strange figures clustered on the sidewalk ahead. Their hands reflexively dart to their weapons, before connecting Danny’s descriptions to the group ahead, along with what was probably their dog. Damn, they were early then. Hopefully Danny was actually ready and not just doing something stupi-oh who were they kidding he was always doing something stupid.
They haven’t moved twenty feet before the dog growls, and the two humans whip around to stare at them. (So much for sneaking past and kicking Danny’s butt into gear, then.) Seeing as they’ve been spotted already, the teens close the remaining distance with quick strides.
The blue haired woman is the first to speak when they reach the house, suspicion not quite covering up the worry in her voice.
“And who might you two be, then?”
Sam thinks for a moment, then decides, fuck it, they’re going to learn soon anyway, might as well go with the (partial, at least) truth.
“I’m Sam, this is Tucker. We’re here to help Danny find your ghost since he’s a horrible driver who couldn't move straight to save his life. And for backup since, well, he can hardly go five minutes without getting into some kind of trouble.”
they get a grunt in acknowledgement from the blond, but it's otherwise silent for the few minutes they spend waiting for the door to open.
------!!!!-------
greengreengreen EVERYWHERE, no ground beneath your feet to stop you falling, falling... the space scattered with thousands of pointed rocks and green fog twisting through them... and if this is Arthur's reaction, Lewis is even worse off. and he's been stuck here not for minutes, but hours, days. reliving his death over and over, no reprieve from the constant memories. the team is so focused on Arthur's reaction it's not until mystery renders him unconscious they turn to vivi. standing stock still, unfocused eyes staring unblinking out the window, trembling with near invisible tears trailing down her face. because her boys aren't the only ones with memories of the cave, and while she may be the "strong" one of the group, when it comes to reminders of that night her ptsd is no less real. there you are dipstick! I've been looking all over for you! not now, ember, get out of the way. can't you see I'm busy? not until you tell me why you thought it was a good idea to toss a spirit into the ghost zone. are you completely mental? huh? don't play dumb with me, not even you wouldn't be able to tell. he looks nothing like a ghost! it's all we've been able to do by keeping guard, none of us can even get close to the guy with the state he's in! what are you even talking about-! vivi shoves his head away from the glass, calling out to the flaming musician. yell at him later, tell us where Lewis is now! ember looks down at the new human, sizing her up before nodding, gliding away. I still don't get it, what was she even going on about? I mean yeah, I shouldn't have tossed the guy in here, but the rest of that? what did that even mean? I believe I may be able to explain, a voice calls from the back, and all three kids jerks their heads around to stare at the (talking!) dog. (what the hell?) sam nearly crashes the speeder into an island before she collects herself enough to glance back at the window. ignoring their reactions, mystery continues to speak from his place in Arthur's lap, the mechanic petting him robotically (heh.). I didn't recognize it at first from the descriptions, but now I'm here I can tell this ghost zone, as you put it, is one part of the realm of the dead. the place we just left, your real world, is the realm of the living. ghosts, at least the ones that you know, are formed and exist in this dead realm. it's where they draw their energy from, regardless of whatever focus or reason they have for their being. a ghost that spends too long in the human world would begin to break down, the very reality chipping away at them piece by piece. similarly, a human spending too long unprotected in the ghosts world would suffer similar effects, their body fighting against what knows they should not be there. that's why, for instance, demons must be summoned from their own realm and strike deals with humans to stay on that plain. he looks straight at Danny beings that have rights, as it were, to both places may come and go as they please with no ill effects. i, for instance, may pass through both living and yokai realms if I were to so choose.
[anchor is physical, ties to world]
Lewis, however, is a spirit, brought forth and tied to the living realm. he's one of the, we call them ghosts, but imprints might be a better title, that make up the majority of 'ghost' activity humans encounter... well, outside of this town, at least.
I assume the ghosts you know of fall into different types or species, probably based on their power level or abilities. our own ghosts, or spirits as the name here for them seems to be, are much the same. they can range anywhere from vague wisps of an idea to a fully formed consciousness equal to or even above their former human status.
[these former-living are connected to physical objects, vessels, their soul reside in. this anchor, as we call it, thus ties them to the human realm, being a real, semi-physical object. it's a shell of sorts, breaking a ghost's anchor destroys the (self contained environment), releasing and exposing their soul, which unprotected dissipates very quickly.]
as for how this relates back to the idea of realms, well, the lower the power of an entity the easier it is to be torn apart... he pauses at Vivi's sudden realization, dashing to the forgotten bag on the seat. tearing open the pouch, she lets out a quiet 'oh thank the gods' as a tiny pink head pops out, chirping in concern. it winds its way into Vivi's arms, nuzzling her cheek. the woman looks at mystery, hoping that protection he had talked about was working on the deadbeat too. he nodded, as long as they were to stay in this vehicle, they'd probably be safe from harm. probably. I'd also suggest arthur stay too, even if he wasn't already... compromised, he looked over to the teens, still listening closely. suffice to say the scenery would certainly not be good for him. and for him to be the first thing Lewis sees after such an episode, arthur stiffens and the dog looks up at him sadly, even if he knows rationally it's not the you he thinks it is, he won't be in his right mind... it's gonna be okay, arthur. vivi settles beside the blond and leans against him, careful not to squish the spirit nestled in her arms. it'll just be like those first few weeks with the dreams. which i mean isn't ideal, obviously, but we've survived it once already, we can do it again if we have to. and it's not like before where he'd been alone for a year, it's really only been, what, a few hours, a day? um, actually... the trio (plus one) looks up, having already forgotten they weren't alone in the vehicle. i, uh, so that whole thing with different realities your, uh, dog? was talking about? heh, yeah, so... funny thing about the zone is, um. time goes differently in here. so like, an hour here is only a few minutes in the real, or, erm, living world... vivi completed the kids thought ...and a few hours on our side would be... days... oh gods no, Lewis. Danny flinches, another shot of guilt stabbing his conscience. ugh, of all the ghosts (or, er, spirits?) he could have snagged yesterday it had to have been this one. the only ghost in the whole town that couldn't live (unlive?) in the zone and was apparently afraid of the color green. just perfect. good Phantom, best hero. the speeder slows as ember approaches a group of ghosts, floating in a protective circle around an island about the size of a small house. they turn to glare at the vehicle, but at ember’s dismissive wave, part to let the craft land. as soon as the door opens a blue blur shoots out, followed closely by a smaller white figure and finally the ghost child. the sight of Lewis when they finally reach him is horrible. he'd flown blindly until he found a larger rock to land on, one with a sort of raised wall on one side to keep his back to. images from the cave played out in a high definition loop before him, even curled on the ground he could still feel himself falling, falling...
now his hands are digging into the flesh around his eyes, still desperately begging the images away. even scrunched into a ball the gaping hole that is his chest is obvious, the constant trembling and whimpers only adding to the gory display. his heart, golden and whole before, has gone pitch black, more cracks than actual pieces at this point and only held together by the strange atmosphere of the zone. the same atmosphere doing a number on the rest of him, draining his power to dangerous lows. they can see the rock behind him, and not just through the bloody window in his chest. it's been so much longer for him, even without the flashbacks draining him at this point he'd still be pretty bad off. he feels like he's been left to rot, abandoned for days, months, years, only his mind for company. maybe karma has finally caught him up and dragged him to hell, just like he must deserve for what he's done. what else would this place be for, catered so perfectly to his failures? he doesn't know how long it's been, only that he's so, so tired. even the agonizing pain in his chest has faded, his whole body numb. cold. who is he? he can't remember, his mind is too foggy. where is he? he shouldn't be here. why? this place is... bad. green. green makes bad things happen. the green had laughed. not-green had been hurt. when? who was green? why? (Lewis!) L..ew...is? something about it sounds familiar. like purple and pink and warm and happy. but… no. Lewis is black and white and cold cold cold. like him. is he him? he can't tell what his color is. was. are? something is touching him. it moves the dark away and he sees blue. blue... what is blue's name again? it says something, but all he hears is static. he can't move and blue is raining. no, that's not right. blue is happy and smiles and love, not sad, never sad, why is blue sad?
his last coherent thought, before finally fading out, is please don't be sad, blue. as vivi reaches the collapsed spirit, her fear of losing Lewis again somehow worsens. she knows what lengths Lewis would go to before using this form, and that she can see straight through him means his energy is even lower than she'd feared. grabbing a wrist she pries a hand from his eyes, only for the revealed pupil to be a dull and cloudy purple. there's no sign of recognition, though she hopes some of her panicked rambling is making it through the haze. a whimper at her side draws Vivi's attention to mystery, worriedly sniffing the abused and battered locket, which looks like it's one small breath away from crumbling completely. "we need to get him inside and home, now." she doesn't have to look to see mystery shifting, the gasp behind them is enough. the kitsune can take care of Lewis, she needs to focus on his anchor. unwinding her scarf, she makes use of the wonky gravity to wrap it around the locket, both preserving its shape and making sure pieces can't fall out when she moves it. with her part done and mystery gathering Lewis in his tails, vivi grabs the delicate package and hurries back to the waiting craft. she shivers as the static feeling of the speeder's shield passes over her, but it's a small price to pay to keep everyone safe. not from the ghosts, who she really needs to thank now she thinks about it, but the reality itself.
Sam and tucker had stayed in the speeder as the trio ran out, ready to make a quick getaway if this all turned sour. they couldn't really see what was happening outside, but Danny could handle it (probably). he'd call if he needed them. (maybe.)
they kept to watching the last stranger still in the back of the vehicle. well, stranger plus the weird… pink... thing.
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Sonic Prime Theory: The Chaos Council Are Clones Of Original Eggman
[Note: Don’t Reblog Without Permission.] 
it might be possible that The Chaos Council, aren’t just “fragments” of the Original Eggman, but might be creations of his, in other words his clones. 
Doctor Done-It, Is That Cranky Grandpa that makes you laugh...
Doctor Babble, is a dangerous small bean....who is really cranky...
and probably needs a nap....the reason why he might be really cranky, is because someone keeps avoiding his nap time...
Doctor Don’t, well he does seem like he rather just play video games all day and well that’s okay....but if Maria was alive in that world that has New Yoke in it, would he be mistaken as Maria’s Son...?
(but if he is one of Eggman Sr.’s clones, he wouldn’t really be Maria’s son...)
Mister Doctor Eggman, well he ain’t fooling anyone with that wig he wears...
and might take a bit more after the original Eggman, only the original Eggman never had on a wig, maybe because he wasn’t ashamed of his beautiful baldness...?
plus I’m pretty sure there are some women who are attracted to some guys with bald head, and I guess shaved as well.
so maybe it’s just the Original Eggman that knows this, but Mister Doctor Eggman does not know this information.  
Doctor Deep, I am gonna view as being a Egg-Himbo (much like how Eggman from Sonic Boom, is a bit of a Egg-Himbo.).....and it might be just me, but Doctor Deep just seems to fit that whole meme that goes “Oh, No....He’s Hot!!!”
it might be possible that Sonic and Shadow weren’t the only Original Survivors of the original world they came from and Eggman, the Original, Not “Mister Doctor Eggman”....
was close enough to the paradox prism, which may have allowed Eggman, even Orbot and Cubot.
Eggman Sr., might of ended up creating clones of himself which would then later become The Chaos Council...
reasons as to why he felt the need to clone himself, is perhaps unknown.
Sonic might of been in some form of coma for sometime in the shatterverse, so this would give time for Eggman Sr. to make clones of himself and make the chaos council, and he could be send back to way before the counterparts of Sonic’s friends were born, and Eggman Sr. had to put himself in cryogenic sleep, as well as his clones....
but some of them ended up waking up way too early, like Doctor Done-It.
who stays awake for YEARS, and then when it is maybe a few years before Rebel Rouge and Renegade Knuckles lose their home...
he ends up waking up Mister Doctor Eggman and Doctor Deep.
and they start to take over, and some time after Nine is born and being bullied, the current three of the council, end up waking up Doctor Don’t next....
and then before Sonic fell into that world, Doctor Babble was woken up like a few months ago.
and Eggman Sr. is still in cryogenic sleep, but at a lower level and not in the same room that his clones were in. 
and if it is true that the chaos council are in fact Eggman Sr.’s Clones, that would technically make them a family.
also, is it weird I want to call Mister Doctor Eggman by the nickname “Eggman Jr.”.......if I can call Doctor Deep by the nickname “Egg-Himbo” (which he has to share with the Eggman from Sonic Boom), then I’m gonna call Mister Doctor Eggman by the nickname Eggman Jr.
not everyone has to agree about the whole clone theory...
but I’m fan headcanoning it, and I will wait for it to be proven true or debunked, and it doesn’t matter which, I be fine if it turns out it will be debunked, that just means it will end up in a fanon timeline.
plus I can’t help but think that the Eggman Shadow, that was talking to Rusty, might of not been Mister Doctor Eggman, and might of been some other member that could be like someone who knows they are all clones, and was program with this info, but make sure to keep a eye on the others until the original wakes up....
or it might of been Mister Doctor Eggman after all, it’s just he sounds a little different when you just see his shadow at first even if he is talking to Rusty.
also because of that scene that has to do with a Robotnik’s shadow only showing and the whole talking to Rusty is in a scene, that is why the tag for “sonic prime spoilers” is there.
I wonder if the clone theory will turn out to be true...?
maybe Doctor Deep could be from Eggman’s “Casanova Days” lol.
maybe I should call him “Egg-Casanova” as well, I know I had a dream what I called him “Eggy” something.....I know I had posted about it, which once again weird dream that had a bit of FNAF and Sonic Prime in it.....
I went to check the post, and it says “Eggy-Deep”, so in the dream that is what I called him.....
maybe the reason why I had that weird crossover type dream, is because I was just being weird, my dreams sometimes make no sense and can be weird.
but my dreams just being weird and making no sense, might be normal for me.
me calling Doctor Deep by the nickname “Eggy-Deep” is just really weird.
maybe even more weird than my theory about him and the rest of the chaos council being clones of Eggman that he made when he survived what happen to his, Sonic and Shadow’s original home dimension.          
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friendly-books · 4 months
Text
Dresden files Grave Peril live blog
Grave Peril
Michael! Weird how he’s just now showing up in book 3
Michael is a Harry/Susan shipper
I’m with Michael. Harry should tell Susan that he loves her
Who’s Elaine? 
Not the maternity ward :(
Harry fighting a ghost is cool
Poor Agatha Hagglethorn and her daughter :(
Why does Harry think his soul is bad?
Trip to the Nevernever. Oh am I going to meet Lea?
“You’re right. Sorry. Holy shit,” I breathed “heckhounds” pg. 58 Ha 
“Long estranged godson” pg. 64 Why are they estranged?
Is it bad that I kinda want a fae godmother?
“I can’t believe we’re in jail” pg. 72 Ha 
Oh no Michael got full named. Why doesn’t Charity like Harry? She’s being really mean to Harry. 
“I’d never said them to anyone I didn’t lose” pg. 81 Well now I’m sad :(
Where’s Mister? 
Vampire time 
Not Bianca :( 
“Yeah, their saliva’s some kind of addictive narcotic” pg. 84 First Ew Second I guess that helps them when they’re attacking people. Third that’s terrifying 
Why would Bianca invite Harry? She doesn’t like him. I’m suspicious. If this is “official” business why invite Harry? He’s not a warden of the White Council.
“The safety of all invited guests is assured, by word of the assembled court.” pg. 86 Hmmm are we talking about guest rights here? I need more information about this. What counts as safety? Why just words, why not written? Invited guests so unless you have an invitation you’re in trouble? I guess Harry isn’t gate crashing. Bianca is up to something. This is definitely giving me trap vibes. Bianca is probably the reason the ghosts are acting up. As with the previous two Big Bad guys they were behind the “unrelated” problems being connected i.e.: Victor and the drugs and Denton all the murders. I doubt she’d turn him. Maybe it has something to do with Michael and his sword? 
Yay Mister is safe
Susan, why would you want to go to a party with vampires after what you’ve just seen? Please listen to Harry. He knows what he’s talking about. I know you got a career boost from the werewolves but you aren’t Lois Lane and Harry isn’t Superman he can’t save you from everything so please don’t go to the ball.
Lea stop kissing Harry. It's weird. 
I don’t think I’ve ever been smacked in the face with remembering when a book takes place than this quote “Wait until some poor sap who got AIDS from a blood transfusion breaths his last” pg. 121 I was not expecting that. Very late 90’s or early 2000’s. When do these books take place? 
“An unmarked car sat in my driveway” pg. 126 my sheer level of disappointment when I read on and realized I wasn’t getting Marcone was immeasurable  
“Rudy’s clean cut good looks” pg. 126 Bi Harry 7
No, not the birds :( 
Rudouph is the worst 
Poor Micky :( The barbwire curse is scary
Murph is so cool with The Sight
Bob being scared is worrying 
“What could possibly go wrong?” pg. 172 Harry why would you say that?
“And then droplets of her spittle fell onto my throat, my cheek, and into my mouth” pg. 183 oh no I’ve never been more happy that Harry destroyed a building
Why would Bicana send two of her maybe powerful red court buddies (subordinates?) to find Lydia? Maybe Lydia knows too much? Maybe Lydia is one of Bicana girls? 
“I’d learned to block out pain, when necessary. Studying under Justin, it had been a practical necessity.” pg. 188 Not a big fan of Justin 
Scary dream
Oh no it ate Harry’s magic
Oh no it disguised itself as Harry 
Oh no Murph 
Oh no Charity 
What pact did Harry make with Lea? How is Harry going to get out of this new pact with Lea? 
How am I only 48% of the way through? So much has happened? And we still haven’t gotten to the ball
Oh no the baby is coming 
Oh no Lea has Amoracchius
Harry’s mom got him a fae godmother? Harry’s mom makes some weird allies 
How are they going to fight Nightmare and get Amoracchius  back?
Michael, Harry’s a little busy can you have Susan leave a message
“It’s thine heart” pg. 278 Ha
It’s party time 
“Hell’s bells, I noticed how good he looked” pg. 290 Bi Harry 8
Thomas! Yay! 
Wait wait did Harry just talk about how good his brother looks?!? 
“Not just a vampire,” I said, “a cheesy vampire.” pg. 297 Ha 
Bianca’s dress is a fire hazard 
All this talk of hospitality makes me think that’s how the vampire-white council war started. Someone broke hospitality. Why are you drinking the wine Harry? It could be spiked? You don’t know what’s in it or where it’s been. It could be roofied. “The wine is poisoned” pg. 308 Aaaahhh!!!! This is bad. Oh no it’s the venom 
Harry please listen to Micheal and Thomas and leave the party
“We’re here to get information, not bring the house down on a bunch of nasties” pg. 313 but Harry your really good bringing the house down
Dragons are a thing in this universe? Cool! Michael killed a dragon, cool!
“Harry, you're not the biggest kid on the block. You’ve got to learn to be a little more polite” pg. 318 Ha like that will ever happen 
SUSAN WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?!?!? You didn’t get an invitation…You forged an invitation.
SUSAN YOU NEED TO LEAVE 
Oh no 
No Susan you can’t protect yourself here
Did Lea just try to bargain for Molly? Oh no Lea made Susan forget Harry
Who’s Mavra? Well you don’t need to call Mavra an it. That was rude.
No Susan, you didn’t know the risks before coming to this party. Susan, Harry and Michael aren’t chauvinist pigs they’re trying to help 
Vampire wizard?!? That is cool but bad for Harry 
Gift giving time
So the vampires want a sort of false flag operation? Maybe not a false flag but pressure Harry to attack.
“Lords of the Outer Night” pg. 354 that’s important not sure what it is but with those capital letters that’s important 
How is it Harry’s fault that you (Bianca) killed Rachel?
“Here lies Harry Dresden, he died doing the right thing” That’s a very accurate epitaph. Bianca knows Harry well enough to know that. That’s some villain vibes to gift someone a tombstone 
They draw weapons and the vampires immediately start attacking it’s like they’re trying to start a war. 
Oh no Justine 
Thomas don’t listen to Bianca. THOMAS why would you do that to Susan?!? Oh no Bicana didn’t keep up her end of the deal who would have thought 
Time to burn some vampires. That’s a lot of fire. Bicana isn’t the fire hazard it’s Harry 
Here comes Harry guilt complex 
Lydia what’s up? Nightmare in disguise? Possessed? I’m with Harry, Thomas needs to back off from Lydia 
I like this mushroom plan 
Does everyone know Harry’s mom but Harry? The demon knew her and now Lea 
“The handsome vampire” pg. 440 Bi Harry 9
I think you should all stick together. Oh no Harry’s surrounded 
Why is Bicana naked?
Why are they taking Harry’s clothes off? 
NO NO NO don’t like the end of chapter thirty-three
NOPE NOPE NOPE don’t like the beginning of thirty-four 
I’m crying :( Poor Harry, I don't like the implications. Can someone anyone please help Harry he needs help
Poor Justine, where are her clothes?
“I heard them taking you. Playing with you, for two hours maybe” pg. 453 I really don’t like those implications. 
Rachel ghost to the rescue…or not 
Kravos go away 
Oh no Susan got half turned. Yay Harry told Susan that he loved her! 
The ghost fight was cool!
Why would the Reds want to start a war with the White Council?
The ghosts fighting is cool!
Awww they named their child after Harry! :)
“What goes around comes around. And sometimes you get what’s coming around. He paused for a moment, frowning faintly, pursuing his lips. “And sometimes you are what’s coming around. You see what I mean” pg. 506 Does that mean that Harry is the consequences for the monster? 
“I don’t want you far away marry me” pg. 510 awww Harry asked Susan to marry her 
“And they were always the same: darkness, trapped, with vampires all around me, laughing their hissing laughter. I’d wake up, screaming and crying.” pg. 511 Poor Harry I’m sobbing 
Well I guess the White Council is at war with the Red Court now. 
Final thoughts 
I wished I had Marcone in this book. I need my Marcone fix. Glad I got to meet Michael. Charity needs to calm down. The Red Court vampires are terrifying. I’m upset that I was right about the party being a trap and Bicana. I’m upset that Susan got turned. More Bi Harry the counter is up to 9. Murph looked so cool with The Sight like a guardian angel! Not a fan of Justin. I want to know more about Lea. I hope I get to see more Thomas. Does he know that Harry’s his brother? Is he just messing with Harry? Why would he do that to Susan? I love Harry’s costume. Bianca had it coming. I kinda love Bianca’s gift to Harry. I don’t know if I’m reading too much into the implications but I don’t like them at all. I’ll probably make a whole separate comment about it because I have a lot of thoughts and feelings about it. Harry has a bit of a guilt complex/chronic hero syndrome. Now about this war. As vampires they’ve probably been around for a while so they know about the White Council. Why would they pick a fight with them? They must think they can win against them so they must have had a plan like this in the making for a while. I assume the White Council will try and make peace, maybe throw Harry under the bus as a way to appease the Reds and get rid of their (Council’s) black sheep. I need to know more. Susan went a bit too far in her investigative reporting and it came back to bite her. She’s only half turned so I assume she has some powers but not all and has some weaknesses but not to the extent of a full Red Vampire. I’m sad Harry and Susan broke up but I know she’ll come back and have Maggie. I thought the fights were good and I liked the world building. I’m looking forward to a more central storyline/plot with the war. It'll be different from the sort of monster of the week that I got from the first two books. Despite my several “oh no’s” I did enjoy this book and I’m looking forward to reading the next one.
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howlingday · 2 years
Note
Can we get a sequel of the hangover bit?
First Part
Jaune sat across from Professor- across from Glynda in Headmaster Ozpin's office. The silence was awkward, but unbroken as the two watched each other with rosened cheeks. The headmaster remained silent on his end as he monitored local news outlets to ensure nothing was revealed to the public. Thankfully, there were students who maintained common sense and public image self-preservation, so no videos leaked from any scrolls on campus.
Jaune: So...
Glynda: Hm?
Jaune: How are you?
Glynda: I'm well, Jaune. And yourself?
Jaune: Good. Er, I mean well. I'm just... recovering from last night still.
Glynda: Is there anything in particular you're concerned about?
Jaune: Yeah, there's a few things, but one of them is on my mind right now.
Glynda: Yes?
Jaune: Well, when we, uh...
Glynda: Had sex?
Jaune: Yeah, that. When we... had sex, did we, um, use protection? I don't remember putting on a condom.
Glynda: We did. I am on my pills, and I was the one who put the condom on. You tried, but you were struggling with the wrapper.
Jaune: Oh... Um, was it, uh, good?
Glynda: You were... good.
Jaune: Just good?
Glynda: You were drunk and sloppy. You tried to insert yourself six times, and on your first success, you instantly came.
Jaune: Oh, geez...
Glynda: But you were also tender. You kissed me like you wanted nothing else, and when you recovered, you were on top of me again.
Jaune: Was I any better that time?
Glynda: So critical of yourself. If you'd like, I could give you your overall grade performance.
Ozpin: Hmhmhm...
Jaune: Uh, no, thank you.
Glynda: Is there anything else you have questions about?
Jaune: Well, I guess the next big question is where do we go from here? I mean, we did... have sex, and I don't want you to feel like I took advantage of you.
Glynda: "Taking advantage of me?" You are aware of your current status, aren't you? If anyone was taken advantage of, it was you, Jaune.
Jaune: Well, the age of consent is seventeen.
Glynda: And teacher-student relations are strictly prohibited. I would lose not only my instructor license, but I could lose my huntress license as well.
Jaune: Oh, I'm... I'm sorry about-
Ynda: Don't be. You were drunk, and I took advantage of you, regardless of how you may see it. I am willing to let it slide as a night of passion, but I need to know how you feel first.
Jaune: Okay. When we finished, I carried you to the teacher's lounge. Did anything happen there?
Glynda: We talked. Or, well, you talked. You stroked my hair as I fell asleep on the couch, telling me I was beautiful. You made comments about my hair, my eyes, and even my lips. It was nice to be pampered so gently.
Jaune: I see. Well, I guess my only question now is what do you want?
Glynda: I believe that was the one question only you can answer now.
Jaune: No, not what I want. You. Do you want to see where this goes? I don't want you to feel unhappy because of something I did while I was drunk.
Glynda: ...You really are a gentleman. I will admit that I am curious, but I am also fully aware of the consequences of pursuing a relationship with a student. I won't risk my career, nor my student's, on for the sake of a fling.
Jaune: Well, what if it's not a fling? What if we went on a date?
Glynda: Out of the question. The second anyone saw us outside of Beacon, people would ask the important questions.
Jaune: Well, what if we stayed here? At Beacon?
Glynda: At Beacon?
Jaune: We can just walk and talk, and we tell everyone it's part of a counseling session you recommended to the headmaster.
Glynda: And what if I didn't feel like walking and talking, Mister Arc? What if I wanted to watch movies, or sit and discuss our relationship? I don't have a personal office.
Ozpin: No, but I do. If need be, I can arrange to chaperone your dates to ensure neither of you conducts any "unsavory conduct" with one another.
Jaune: What do you think... Glynda?
Glynda: ...I see no harm in a trial run. However, before we begin, I want you to know that I hold no objections to you dating female students closer to your age. If you wish to discontinue to pursue those relationships, I will not deny you the opportunity to seek new relationships.
Jaune: Oh, well, I don't-
Glynda: But I must also warn you that you must decide before you graduate whom you wish to pursue. I refuse to be the mistress of a man with no commitment. Are we understood?
Jaune: Uh, yes, Glynda.
Glynda: Good.
Ozpin: Now, why don't we seal your agreement with a kiss? ...What? Don't look at me like that. I am chaperoning, after all.
Jaune: W-Well, Glynda?
Glynda: This is... agreeable.
The two slowly move closer, timidly beginning with a chaste kiss on the lips. As they relax, their lips part to allow a more tender kiss. Jaune pushes himself further into her, causing Glynda to fall backwards into her seat, caught by Jaune's embrace. A tapping cane caught their attention, and the two swiftly separated.
Ozpin: Now, now, you two. I suggest you save that for when I am unavailable to chaperone.
Jaune: And that's what happened last night.
Nora: Aw! How come we didn't get to drink, too?
Ren: I was concerned with your health. Some of those liquers were too potent for you.
Nora: Psh! I bet I could drink you all under the table.
Ren: Nora, you become intoxicated from a sip of non-alcoholic wine.
Nora: I'm not that bad!
Ren: You said I looked like your best friend, Ren six times in five minutes.
Nora: Whatever! I'm still mad!
Weiss: Petty squabbling aside, it is concerning your actions were only possible through alcohol.
Ruby: Is it really that bad?
Weiss: I have personal experience with alcohol and it's impact on a person's life. You aren't craving it, are you, Jaune?
Jaune: Not really. The only thing I'm really craving is pizza right now.
Weiss: (Pulls out her scroll) Pepperoni, Supreme, Sausage...?
Jaune: Weiss!
Ruby: Get the pepperoni!
Nora: And the supreme!
Ren: I'll just have cheese.
Weiss: You free-loaders! This pizza is for Jaune!
Jaune: Ugh, my head.
Blake: There, there.
Jaune: Thanks, Blake.
Blake: N-No problem. Uh, I mean, whatever. I'm just trying to be a good friend. Nothing personal about it.
Yang: Can I split with you, Jaune?
Jaune: Hang on, I need to write these orders down, and-
Pyrrha: Wait. I need to know something first.
Jaune: What's up, Pyrrha?
Pyrrha: Last night, in front of the statue. Do you remember anything?
Jaune: Hm...
Pyrrha: Anything at all?
Jaune: I know we talked, but other than that, nothing really stands out.
Pyrrha: I see. I'll have a supreme as well.
Jaune: Is everything okay, Pyrrha?
Pyrrha: Yes, everything is fine. I'll have a supreme pizza.
Ruby: That's it for pepperoni.
Nora: And supreme. I guess we're done with the pizza.
Ren: There's still plenty of cheese.
Nora: ...So, I guess we're done with the pizza.
Jaune: I'm stuffed. Oof! Oh, that might have been too much pizza.
Yang: Ha ha! Vomit Boy strikes again, huh?
Jaune: I'm glad to see you're lively again, Yang.
Yang: Ack! Don't look at me!
Jaune: Yang, I get that you're still nervous about us last night, but you don't have to be so flustered. From what I could tell, it was just a heat of the moment kiss. It's not like you're actually in love with me.
Yang: ...But what if I was?
Jaune: Huh?
Yang: I said, but what if I was.
Jaune: Are you?
Yang: Yes! I mean, no! I-I mean... I don't know! Like, we were just friends yesterday before the party, but now, after that kiss, I can't help but think what if, y'know? I mean, how long have you been so dominating and aggressive and sexy and... Argh! It's just so weird, you know?!
Jaune: I guess. I mean, drunk Jaune was like a whole different me. When I was drunk, I was, well...
Yang: Hot!
Blake: Kind.
Weiss: Patient.
Nora: Fun!
Ruby: Crazy!
Pyrrha: I think we get it. Drunk Jaune is so different from normal Jaune, that we shouldn't consider them the same person.
Jaune: Pyrrha-
Pyrrha: I'm throwing these pizza boxes away. If anyone needs me, I'll be by the dumpster.
Jaune: Pyrrha, wait-!
SLAM!
Jaune: I think she's mad at me.
Pyrrha: Stupid! Stupid! You finally tell him how you feel, and he doesn't remember it! Destiny strikes again!
Jaune: Pyrrha?
Pyrrha: I can't just tell him what I said. After all, what if he doesn't believe me?
Jaune: Pyrrha!
Pyrrha: Maybe Beacon was a mistake. Atlas and Haven would have been more than happy to take me. Then I wouldn't be stuck up on-
Jaune: Pyrrha!
Pyrrha: WAH!
SLAM!
Pyrrha: Jaune, are you okay?!
Jaune: That depends... How am I supposed to feel when a dumpster pins me to the wall?
Yang: It's ringing.
Blake: Mhm.
Ruby: Should we answer it?
Weiss: Of course not! Jaune is our friend, and we should respect his privacy!
Nora: Well, he's my team leader, and I have no privacy! BOOP!
Weiss: WHAT DID YOU JUST DO?!
???: Hello? Jaune? Is that you?
Nora: Hi!
???: Hello, dear. Is my son, Jaune, there?
Nora: No, just me, my friend, Ren, and Jaune's harem.
Ruby: His what?
Yang: Oh man...
Weiss: HIS WHAT?!
???: ...Tell me more about this.
Nora: Well, you see, it all started when Jaune and Ren had a drinking contest!
Ruby: Oh boy...
Jaune: So, what exactly happened that night? The camera showed me going to the statue, but you left after I showed up. How did I end up on the statue?
Pyrrha: Oh, well, I suppose we should start from the beginning. You see, while the party was going on, I kept a close eye on you. I watched you come up to second place in that drinking contest, and how you got everyone's attention at the dance, and how you recovered from those experiences in the library. I watched you all night, until... Until I saw you kiss Professor Goodwitch.
Jaune: Oh...
Pyrrha: I watched you run off with her around the corner. When I found you again, you... You were already busy. I didn't want to stay, so I ran off to the bathroom. I cried the rest of that night. I thought a walk would clear my thoughts, and then you showed. We sat and talked.
Jaune: Did we talk about...?
Pyrrha: No. You knew better than to kiss and tell, and I knew better than to ask what I didn't want to know.
Jaune: What did we talk about?
Pyrrha: ...We talked about us. About how we've known each other for so long, and how well we get along, and how it's surprising to others we aren't dating.
Jaune: Well, based on that logic, Ren and Nora should be dating, right?
Pyrrha: ...
Jaune: ...Right?
Pyrrha: You said the same thing last night. You also said Ruby and Weiss, and Blake and Yang.
Jaune: Huh, yeah. I think it's coming back to me. Then you said something funny, and I said something crazy, and then...
Pyrrha: Yes?
Jaune: And then... Oh, god... Pyrrha, did we... Did we kiss? ...Pyrrha?
Pyrrha: Yes, we kissed. We kissed in front of the statue. And despite the sour and bitter taste of alcohol in your mouth, it was the best kiss of my life.
Jaune: Pyrrha, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to forget.
Pyrrha: It doesn't matter now. My first kiss was given to the man I love. Whether or not he remembers it doesn't change the fact that it happened.
Jaune: So, what happens now?
Pyrrha: I'm not sure. If this was a teen drama, this would be where I run off with you chasing after me. But that's not my life, and it's much more complicated than that. I do want to know something, though, Jaune, if you don't mind me asking.
Jaune: Anything.
Pyrrha: Do you love Professor Goodwitch?
Jaune: I... I don't know.
Pyrrha: Do you love her?
Jaune: I... don't know.
Pyrrha: One more question. Do you love me?
Jaune: I... I want to say yes. I know I want to say yes, but I also don't want to make it seem like I'm leaving Glynda alone. She deserves to be loved, just like you.
Pyrrha: Then what do you deserve?
Jaune: I don't deserve anything. I feel like I haven't earned what I've been given.
Pyrrha: You don't need to feel that way. I give you what I gave you because I wanted to. Just like now.
Pyrrha steps up to Jaune and kisses him. He's surprised, but surrenders himself and holds her close. Pyrrha leans in, her breathing slow and calm, despite her rapidly beating heart. As they pulled away, she hugged him.
Pyrrha: You didn't earn love because you don't earn it at all. It's given, even when it feels undeserved. Now, let's head upstairs. The others are waiting for us.
Nora: Yeah, and they were going at it all night, like, non-stop. Oh, hey, speak of the Grimm!
Jaune: ...Nora, who were you talking to?
???: Take a guess, Jaune.
Jaune: Mmmmmmhi, Dad.
Papa Arc: Oh, Jaune, my dear, dear, son, we have so much to discuss. But first and foremost is your terrible taste in beer!
Jaune: ...Really? We talk for the first time since I left, and just after you got told about my... sex life with my professor, after I was drinking underage, and your biggest criticism is what I drank.
Papa: Well, I could always get your mother-
Jaune: DON'T DO THAT!
Papa Arc: I thought so! I'm kidding anyways. Mom is out shopping for dinner. Now, tell me about this party from your perspective.
Jaune: Okay. And you're sure Mom is out?
Papa Arc: Pretty sure. I'll let you know if her or her sisters come around.
Jaune: Thanks, Dad. So it all started when I agreed to a drinking contest with this guy named Cardin.
Yang: Did everything go okay down there?
Pyrrha: Everything's fine. We just talked, and now we're perfectly fine.
Nora: Yeah, but did you... Y'know?
Pyrrha: Mhm. And I think we'll be going steady now.
Weiss: I'm so happy for you two!
Blake: Congratulations.
Yang: You perfect for each other.
Ruby: So now you're dating him and Professor Goodwitch?
Pyrrha: No, he's dating us separately. He's a little confused about what he wants, so I'm helping him ease his mind.
Yang: Well, maybe we should help him out, too? If you're cool with it, P-Money.
Pyrrha: After last night, I think we're all confused, so relieving our tension between each other should only benefit our teamwork cohesion.
Nora: You know, that's a lot of words for, "This is a harem anime now."
Jaune: And that's Deathstalker brand or flavor?
Papa Arc: Brand, Jaune. Who the fuck would want a Deathstalker flavor?
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