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#and i understand losing to the same guy everytime is hard
soireegurl · 8 hours
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[08:33]
You were once caught in the whirlwind romance with Jake, a charming young man with promises of forever. But as time passed, cracks began to appear, and Jake's love turned into a suffocating obsession with you.
"You can't leave me, Y/n..." Jake pleaded, his voice laced with desperation. "We're meant to be together."
"I can't do this anymore, Jake," you replied, tears streaming down your face. "You're suffocating me."
You wanted to explore the world, chase your dreams, but Jake couldn't bear the thought of losing you. His love twisted into something dark and sinister, becoming possessive and jealous at the slightest hint of another man in your life.
Just recently, you got into the company that you've always wanted to get in... But your profession requires you to interact with many people... And which means, males too...
But Jake can't seem to understand...
Everyday, both of you will quarrel over the same thing over and over again...
"I'll change, I promise," Jake begged, his eyes filled with anguish. "Just give me one more chance."
You tried to distance yourself, to break free from Jake's suffocating grip, but he wouldn't let go. He monitored your every move, lurked in the shadows, and left disturbing messages professing his undying love.
"No, Jake, you said this everytime we quarrel and you always do it again..." you whispered, your heart breaking with each word. "It's over, We are over Jake..."
You ran out of the house without looking back... And surprisingly Jake didn't come after you. You thought maybe he realised that you guys were not meant to be... But how wrong you are...
No matter how hard you tried to escape, Jake's obsession only grew stronger. He sabotaged your relationships, spread lies, and drove away anyone who dared come close to you.
Terrified, you sought help, changed your routine, and even considered getting a restraining order. But Jake was relentless, his obsession consuming him completely.
In a desperate bid to escape, you left the city, hoping to start anew far away from Jake's clutches. But even in your newfound sanctuary, you couldn't shake the feeling of unease, the fear that Jake would somehow find you again.
"I'll never stop loving you, Y/n," Jake's voice echoed in your mind, haunting you wherever you went.
For Jake, the obsession never faded. He searched tirelessly for you, leaving chaos and destruction in his wake. His love had turned into something monstrous, consuming everything in its path.
As you rebuilt your life, you couldn't help but wonder if Jake would ever let go, if you would ever truly be free from his twisted affections. And as you looked back at the city you once called home, tears blurred your vision, knowing that the shadows held the whispers of a love gone terribly wrong, a darkness that threatened to engulf you once more.
Then one fateful night, as you walked alone through the dimly lit streets, a hand clamped over your mouth, dragging you into the darkness. You struggled, screamed, but it was futile. Jake had found you, his obsession reaching its terrifying climax as he kidnapped you, determined to never let you go. And in that moment, as the world faded into darkness, you realized that your nightmare was far from over.
"Shh... It's okay Y/n... You are safe with me..."
That was the last thing you heard as you fell into complete darkness...
Damn Yandere ex Jake! I don't know if this is good but hope y'all like it!!
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igotanidea · 1 year
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Quiet: Dick Grayson x fem!reader
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Stubborn like a mule, Dick would never admit he fell for a teammate. Of course everybody knows and with the amount of teasing it won't take much to push him over the edge.
Inspired by Charlie Puth;s song Charlie be quiet.
Warning: it's long :D (20.971 words!) - that part was not planned :D
Seven years ago
„Stop staring.”
„What?”
„You heard me. Stop ogling her.”
“I am not….”
“Dick.” Donna’s voice was as stern as it possibly could. Despite her best effort she was slowly losing patience with Robin’s childish play of cat and mouse. Everyone, literally everyone, team or not could say he was head over heels in love with his teammate, Y/N Y/L/N, who also happened to posses the power of blue lantern. She was the third one to join the Titans, after the corps decided that the girl, born human, had to be near Earth’s green lantern to get access to her full power. Hal, who was supposed to be her mentor trained her well for a couple of years and despite their differences they become friends. So when the green one left her at the tower, arguing that she needed friends at the same age and with similar capabilities and assuring that she could always reach him if need arises, her heart broke a little. At first she was withdrawn, intimidating and hard to understand but soon her other, lighter side emerged. One thing everyone noticed about the girl was that everytime she was indulged in things that gave her sense of fulfillment the lantern’s blue light surrounded her, making her look ethereal and beautiful. Perhaps that was the thing that quickly caught Dick’s attention. Despite their initial fights and a lot of misunderstandings and communications problem they worked through it. Of course, only for the sake of the team, nothing else. Both Dick and Y/N were individuals who hated being told what, how and when to do, but also knew when to step down. She was the one to make him stop, think and analyze the situation before acting, he helped her in developing her intuition. In no time, he found himself falling for that introverted analyst who always, always had  a plan and was way too much in her own head.
“She’s gonna figure it out. Is that what you want?” Wondergirl mocked, knowing well enough that for the last couple of years Dick was doing everything in his power to keep this infatuation a secret. In his own words, it was not wise to get into relationship with someone who could be called into space at every second. And definitely stupid to love a teammate, which may cause a distraction and damage while fighting. He just kept coming with so many dumb excuses to adore her from the distance. At this point he didn’t even bother to answer Donna’s question since it was obvious Y/N realization of the situation would be the end of him. So he kept it quiet. Y/N was that kind of person who preferred to keep the emotions at bay as well, never giving him any sign she was interested in forming a relationship, more often than not pushing people away when she was scared and worried and stressed and vulnerable. Not really talking about it but separating to gather back her strength and balance. Well, she was the blue lantern, who got power from hope, so what else could you expect.
“Did you guys want something?” said blue one turned around towards her friends “you’ve been standing there for like a quarter now and it’s getting suspicious” she mocked
“it’s fine. We were just trash-talking you” Donna smirked
“Oh thank god, I was getting worried you were saying some good stuff about me. Such a relief” she fake-brushed her forehead. “Anyway, is anyone up for some sparring? I need to keep my spark up.”
“I thought you were  supposed to recharge? I mean… meet with Hal?” Dick frowned and a shadow of disappointment crossed the girl’s face as she shook her head.
“He was called on Oa. Apparently some threat appeared in the north side of the galaxy and Green Corp needs his immediate help. Nothing new, so yeah, I’m gonna go workout. Want to join me, Grayson.”
“Nope.” He felt his heartbeat fasten. Shit, it was getting harder and harder to be around her.
“ Ok. Donna?”
“Sure. I’m game. You can never count on the boys, right.”
“Hear, hear, sister.”
Just as Donna and Y/N left, heading towards the training room, Hank appeared on the other side.
“You did it again, didn’t you?” he let out a laugh “I would love to see you breaking one day.”
“Not a chance.”
***
Four years ago
“You’ve got to be kidding me” Y/N eyes went wide the second she entered the lab at the precinct. “it’s all for me?” it took a lot of strength not to jump out in joy. When, after the Jericho incident, the Titans fell apart and everyone went their own ways, she put all her intellectual efforts into science, biology and chemistry, taking first steps on a path to become a Forensic Scientist. With her stubbornness, passion and insight she soon got to be the best in the field. Last year was spend on working with the best detectives and investigators (including detective Chloe Decker from LAPD), getting hell of a knowledge and experience. And now, she moved to new city and easily scored a job at the best precinct in the whole country.
“Yep. All yours. Take your time and when you are ready, come meet the team. It’s quite big if you ask me, may be a bit overwhelming, so at first you’ll only meet with the best of the best. Those will be your regulars.”
“Good. I’m not exactly good with people.”
Half an hour later, the girl finally left the lab equipment, the books and agents and came down to the main office of detectives. With every step the feeling of something strangely familiar of this place was consuming her more and more and that hope of good things to come made her hand glow blue. A single raise of an eyebrow of one the officers was enough to snuff it.
“Y/N! Oh, you decided to grace us with your presence.” Her boss was talking to some man, whose back was turned to her so she did not see his face. “good timing. I would like to present to you our top investigator. Meet detective Richard Grayson.”
“Wha.. what?” she stuttered a little bit, pure shock reflecting in her eyes as the man turned around his expression being a mirror reflection of hers. “Dick?”
“Y/N?” he hadn’t seen her for two freaking years. Hell, he did not contact her in any way, despite a bit of stalking to make sure she was doing fine. And after all this time his heart skipped a beat at the sight of the girl he was still in love with. Time did nothing. And she was going to work with him, again.
“Hi.” She tilted her head and smiled lightly as the first surprise passed
“You know each other?” the captain caught up on the scene happening in front of his eyes
“From the previous life.” Dick said without looking away from her. It was real, she was real and here. He got her back.
“Should I be worried then? Will your past cause any problems in professional relationship?”
“No, sir. Not at all.”
Dick Grayson was always a good liar.
***
 “Hey.”
She wasn’t even doing anything, just sitting at the desk, covered with document and samples collected from the crime scene. Her eyes were a bit puffy and red,  clear sign she did not sleep much in the last days, her thick h/c hair a perfect mess. Lack of makeup and lab’s soft light mixed with her blue aura made her look young, fragile and innocent. All those adjectives far from truth given her secret identity.
“Hey Dick.” She smiled softly, yawning and stretching “I’m so glad you’re here.”
“You are?” that was surprising. Maybe she did change during the last time he saw her. There was something more gentle in her action.
“Mhm.” She rubbed her eyes in child-like manner “I need to stand from behind this desk like now. I’m way too sore. I’m going to grab some coffee. Would you mind staying here and watching the documents? Can’t risk anyone getting the confidential information about the investigation. And since it’s yours….”
“Sure.” His heart dropped a little but he did not let it show.
“Thank you.” She hopped down from the chair and suddenly lost her balance. Dick’s instincts kicked in and he was quick to catch and hold her before she fell to the ground. For the first time since the Titans she was so close to him, yet not close enough. He wanted to embrace her fully, stroke her hair, feel her heartbeat next to his, feel her. Sad thing he couldn’t.
“When was the last time you slept?” he asked instead, unwillingly letting go.
“Not sure. I took a nap yesterday, but…”
“Y/N.”
“What?” she scoffed “to much to do. You know…. the other job…. And it’s not like you are not running around the streets dressed in red and green.”
“You….?”
“Yeah, of course I know. I observe. And did you really think I bought that story about your injuries being the effect of the latest work action? Please, I know you better than that.”
“And I know you. How’s your light doing? Hope still up?”
“Never dying. But I’m not going to lie. Given the condition of the world last two years was a rough ride. I was even summoned by the Blues.”
“You were in space, huh? Why?”
“They thought I was getting weak. Wondered if I deserve the power of the lantern. But you know, the ring know what it does. I was just cut from using it for a bit. Last week of my suspension and then I’m back at my full capabilities.”
“I’m sorry about it.” He took a step closer and grabbed her hand. She didn’t even flinch when he started caressing her palm. It was nice and comforting and moving something inside her.
“It’s fine. We learn from mistakes, right? At least some of us” she shoved him playfully killing the atmosphere in effect.
“Sit down, Y/N. I’ll fetch you coffee and then we’ll talk about my case.”
“Ok, thanks. I want…..”
“Black, no sugar. I remember.”
***
“I’m sorry I dragged you into this” Dick and Y/N were standing at the crime scene. Or rather a battlefield scene. Blood and dead bodies were everywhere reminding of horror movies, especially those where the chainsaw was used.
“I’m not an amateur, Dick and this is not my first rodeo so stop it. I’ve seen worse. In both lifes.”
“Right. Sorry.”
“It’s ok. That little protectiveness of ours is touching. And gives me a reason to mock you freely.”
“Don’t you dare” he hissed grabbing her by the waist “I can always go full Robin on you” he whispered his face centimeters from her, unwillingly leaning in, forgetting where he was, who he was and what he was doing.
“Well than, I’ll go full blue lantern on you” she smirked and wriggled from his arms “but now, I have work to do. Genetic material, my favorite kind”.
As Y/N came closer to the one of the bodies Dick was completely consumed by his own thoughts. He loved her even more now and it was getting impossible to hide it.
Two years ago
Two years of working together did not bring him any closer to confessing his feelings. Even when after night patrol he showed at her apartment to get patched up and stayed the night watching her sleep on the other side of the same bed, unable to even close an eye. Her obliviousness was no help, since she was always calling him a friend, a coworker, a team member, even a mate. It was killing him. 
“Why aren’t you sleeping?” she muttered shifting her position  a bit. She knew he was awake and there was no point denying “how are your injuries?” she reached towards his arm covered with fresh cuts almost touching it, but stopping a few millimeters away from the skin. Luckily for him, since he knew her single touch would make him burn. He wanted to kiss her, to do more – to make her feel good, to make her his and only his…….. Dirty thought and images was now creeping in his mind “Dick?” she frowned “you are distracted, officer”. That last word and her body so close made him jump out of the bed immediately, terrified his self-control was failing him.
“I’m fine. I’m gonna get some water. Go back to sleep, you need to rest.”
“But…”
“No buts. Sleep. I’m taking the couch.”
He did not get any rest that night. Crazy dreams that could never happen were enough to keep him up.
***
She got hurt. Because of him. Because of his recklessness and distraction. He shouldn’t have left her alone. Y/N was just doing her job, securing the evidences. Every other detective was in the other room of the house when shooters came through the door, firing their guns in every possible direction. Before anyone could react three policemen where bleeding, and one was dead.
“Shit! Y/N!” Dick hissed and rushed to the place where she was hoping nothing happened. He managed to disarm three of the attackers on the way, but judging from the sound she was dealing with the fourth, doing pretty good job. Even if blue lanterns were never considered the fighters, she was an exception, years in Titans and Hal’s upraise giving her exceptional skills in hand-to-hand fight, blue constructs adding to that. She was spinning, ducking and sliding, creating blue daggers and blades, going for the win when she saw him. A second of hesitation was enough for the opponent and she ended up with a knife in her stomach and  blood flowing everywhere. The last thing she felt was a pair of strong arms embracing her and lifting her up, holding close to wide chest whispering the most cliché words – it’s gonna be ok.
And now she was on the ICU, looking small and pale in hospital bed with Dick sitting on the uncomfortable chair holding her cold hands.
“Detective Grayson?” doctor’s voice made him stand up immediately “she’s going to be fine. No serious damage was done, luckily the blade missed the organs by an inch. And this girl, she’s strong, a fighter.”
“You have no idea, doctor. Thank you.”
“Just doing my job.” The MD shrugged but smiled happily “you got couple minutes left, and then she’ll need rest.”
“Ok.” When the doctor disappeared he leaned over girl’s sleeping figure and lovingly kissed her forehead “I’ll take care of you.”
***
Year ago.
 “I need your help.”
“My help of Blue’s help?” she asked “wait, don’t answer. I know what it will be.”
“Of course you do.” she could tell he rolled her eyes on the other side of the phone line.
“So? what’s the case? Go on. I got work.”
“There’s this girl. Her name is Rachel…..”
“Wait, are you talking about the teenager that run away from the house? The one, whose mother was shot straight in the head?” Y/N voice came up an octave.
“Yes. Wait, how do you…..?”
“So it happens I’m at the crime scene, detective.”
“Right.” Of course, he should have known she would be called there right away. And he did not like the fact that he wasn’t there with her to keep her safe. He didn’t trust anyone else with that.
“Relax, Dick. Everyone’s safe and I know how to protect myself. I can’t understand why do I have to assure you of it every time you are not around. I thought you knew my killer skills.”
“I know, but remember what happened last time?”
“It was a year ago, you fool! And it was your fault.” He went quiet for a bit too long “Dick? Are you still there?”
“Yes.”
“I didn’t mean to make you feel guilty.”
“I know.”
“But you’re sulking. We’ve been through this. All is forgiven and forgotten. Now, what about this Rachel girl?”
“She’s like you. She has powers. And she’s terrified.”
“she just lost her mother, no surprise with that.”
“Not only about that. There’s something dark about her. Can you come?”
“Give me an hour.”
***
“Hey, you must be Rachel? I’m  a friend of Dick.”
“Where is he?” the girl truly was terrified
“Dealing with paperwork. He asked me to watch over you.”
“I don’t think it’s safe to be around me.”
“I can handle myself. Now, since I work on the case of …. Nevermind. Can you tell me what happened?” Y/N held Rachel’s hand trying to reach for the hope inside the girl.
“I…. I……”
“I won’t push you. But I know Dick promised to help you and I’m going to make sure he keeps that promise, all right?”
“Ok. I need help…..”
***
Today
“What exactly is the case of Dick and Y/N?”  Gar could not hold back the question
“Are you asking me?” Donna raised an eyebrow at the green haired boy.
“Well you are the only one here who knows about their past.”
“Yeah, everyone can tell he’s in love with her.” Rachel added “so why does she keep pushing his limits?”
“Well it’s not my story to tell” Donna scoffed “if you want to know anything you may as well go the subject of this discussion and …..”
“So you are now talking shit about me behind my back?” Y/N leaned on the doorframe and crossed he arms “come on, I;m a big girl I can handle anything. Donna?”
“Nope. I’m out. You can talk to the kids, they seem very interested about your past.”
“Really? Why? Rachel? Gar?”
“Y/N, I love you, but I need to speak with Dick. Gar can explain. Right, Gar?” she eyed him suggestively.
“What?” he frowned but soon the realization dawned on him “oh, yeah, right, sure. I’ll explain.” Rachel and Donna nodded and left leaving Y/N with the boy.
“So, what’s up shifter?”
“Why don’t you love Dick back?” Gar blurted before realizing his words
“What?” she was taken aback “what are you talking about?”
“Nothing.” He tried to escape but she was quick to pin him back to the chair
“Oh, no, no, no, no. You are not running away from me. Talk. Now.”
“Don’t shoot the messenger.” Gar raised both his hands in surrender “but how can you be so oblivious? Everyone knows he loves you and you miss all the signs!”
“that’s absurd! He’s just a friend. Which is a progress, since we were more like enemies at the beginning. And who’s everyone? And since when you are so gossiping?”
“Donna. Rachel. Kori. Me. Everyone! From what I can tell even Hank and Dawn get the message. And I’m not gossiping.” He sighed “Look Y/N, you are my best friend, you know it, right?” the girl nodded “and that’s why I care about your happiness.”
“But….”
“No, no buts. You are making two people unhappy. Three if you count me. Do you love him?”
“Gar…..”
“Do you?” he studied her face carefully, his tone now gentle. They only knew each other for a while but he already knew talking about and expressing emotions was not her stronger suit.
“I do….” She whispered looking down.
“Well I can assure you he loves you to. Why do you think Rachel went to talk to him?”
“You two are unbelievable.”
“And that’s why you love us” he grinned “now go talk to him.”
***
“Dick? Can we…. Can we talk?”
“I’m actually a bit busy.” He was tensed so his conversation with Rachel must have been emotional
“Come on, Dickie, I bet you have five minutes for me.” She came closer and put an hand on his arm from behind gently stroking his shoulder. Out of instinct he leaned more into her touch wanting more. “So, Gar talked to me.”
“About what?” he turned around making her hand drop and immediately missing the contact.
“You. And well.. um.. me being blind.”
“How so?”
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
“Tell you what?”
“You know what!”
“Well maybe I’m tired of guessing!”
“Putting the pieces of information together is your job! So quit playing!”
Instead of soft conversation they were now yelling at each other. Not how it supposed to go.
“I hate you! All those years I held it back but I hate you!”
“Really?” She mocked “what do you hate about me the most?” she started circling him like a predator
“don’t do this.” He warned, his eyes glistening
“my blue light?” she took a step letting some of the aura out “or maybe my hands?” she brushed her fingertips on his arm causing him to close his eyes
“You’re walking down a dangerous path….”
“Sure, what’s new. Oh,I know” she faked surprise “I know what you hate about me the most.” She leaned close to him “I bet it’s my lips, right?”
He didn’t answer as he could not hold back anymore and closed the distance between them crashing his lips on hers. She was right. He hated those soft pink, plump and kissable lips he was dreaming about for so long. He hated her aura, full of hope. He hated her hands that patched him up so many times and that brought him comfort and sense of safety everytime she touched him. He hated what she was doing to him, how she was messing with his head, how vulnerable she was making him, he hated…..
“I love you” he whispered pulling away, letting his arms sneak around her waist, holding her tight, not wanting to let go. “I loved you since the day you showed at the tower. I wanted you for so long.”
“Why did you hold it back? I really thought we were just friends. You were withdrawing every time I tried to…."
“Stop talking.” He pressed their lips together again, drunk on the feeling of her, craving her, tightening the embrace trying to get her closer than it was physically possible.
“Ouch, not that I’m complaining, but Dick that hurts. You’re strong, remember?” she whined as he started to crush her.
“Sorry. But I love you so fucking much. Feels good to say it.”
“Why don’t you let me try then?” she smirked locking hands on his neck and looking him straight into the eyes “Richard Grayson, I love you too. But you are an idiot! Why the hell didn’t you tell me?!”
“I was scared you would run away. You always displaced the emotions, so….”
“Dick, you dumbass. I am a lantern, I thrive on emotions, I just can’t let it consume me. Don’t want to turn into the red lantern, or worse – a black one. Do you know the latter drive on death?”
“Is that possible? For you to change color?"
“Don’t know, but I can’t risk it.”
“Well, I’ll make sure to provide you with hope if that’s what you need. Hope for us, for starters.”
“Ok, Mr. Grayson, so why don’t you kiss me again?”
“Gladly.” He would never get tired of holding, touching and having her. He was dead set on making up for the lost seven years.  
@somest1 @pinksirensong
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deepvelvet · 1 year
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Lillith in a man's chart
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MASTERLIST
Hello my darlings, deepvelvet here .
Lillith can be quite different in men or women charts. I see a lot of intresting and insightful posts about lillith in a woman chart, but it's more rare find a post about men. So, shall we?
If you are willing to reaserch about this specific subject, the most common meaning you will find is that:
"Lillith is the woman he truly and deeply desire but, at the same time, the woman he is afraid of. The woman he falls head over heels with."
But deepvelvet, what does this mean, anyway? Is he able to have a relationship with her?
I will give a practical exemple of how this goes. She's a Gemini Sun and he has Gemini lillith. He enjoy movies. And is totally in love about the fact she seems to know everything about the 7th art! But at the same time, sometimes he feels she knows so much, that he feel dumb. Like he has nothing to add.
So he feels threatened about the same thing he admires.
A capricorn lillith man i knew, was a cap Sun and ASC too. He is the most practical person i've ever met. He admires independent and hardworking women. But, at the same time, he is threatened about his place at the family, in traditional sense. He wants to be the provider, right?
In other scenario, he has a hard time understanding his feelings and he need his "patience time" getting to know a woman before commit with her. But if she takes more time to decide than he does: holy crap! He's annoyed and mesmerized... But is weirdly sexy either.
He is threatened by women who are like him. (Lillith in 1th)
Sure thing is: he can't forget the impact lillith made on his ego.
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Will Gemini lillith stay with this intresting and intelligent woman? If he put his ego on the side, he can have the girl of his dreams.
Is cap lillith ever going to not pee in his pants everytime a powerful, organized, independent and strong woman smiles to him?
As lillith in a woman chart can show her dark side, lillith in a man chart talk about his limitations as a man. Yes,
Pure sexism.
If you two are just getting to know each other, or even if this guy has great amount of interest in you...its lillith calling. She shines above the moonlight so then she can go deeper in the dark side of his ego. Is he going to survive? Is going to wait and see?
Even when he runs, even when he tries to block her power over him, he will be sorry lose her. Regret.
I Hope this enlightened your thoughts about the subject. With love, your sweet deepvelvet. 💜💜
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harrystylesfan2686 · 3 months
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Deserve
Pairing: BestFriend!Harry x Reader
Summary: YN, Harry and another guy have been best friends for a long time and YN has always like the other guy but didn't say anything because she was overweight and though the guy didn't like him back but then he confesses.
AN: Harry doesn't really have much role in this one but I just wanted to write this because personal experience...
●●●●●●●●●●●●●
I take out my key from my bag, walking up to my apartment door. I open the door and lur on the light. I gasp at the sight in front of me.
My living room is full of pink and red balloons with candles. A slow song is playing in the background. In the middle stands Hans with a Bouquet of roses.
Hans is my best friend, well, my other best friend. We are a trio of best friends, me, Harry and Hans. We have been best friends since we were 8. Harry and my moms are best friends so naturally we are too since we spend literally every day together from our birth. Hans came around in 1st grade.
We have been inseparable from the moment we met. We went through everything together. I saw them at their worst and held them close when they needed it and so did they. They were there for me when I cried or worked my ass out to lose weight when it got too much.
And somewhere along the way, I fell in love with Hans.
I have lost count of how many times I have cried to Harry because I can't show my real feelings of Hans. Now he stand in my house with roses and a smile that make me melt every time.
"Hans, what are you doing here?" I nervously chuckle, hoping to god this isn't a dream.
He comes closer to me since I seem to forget how to walk. "These are for you" He gives me the bouquet with a smile.
"T-thank you" I smell the flowers and look at him. "But why?"
"I have a confession to make." He says taking my free hand in his. My heart is beating very loudly and I'm breathing heavily.
"These past few months, ever since you had that... change in you." He hesitates looking at me. I know what he means, ever since I lost weight. "I have been feeling differently."
"I am starting to like you. More than a friend." He looks me in the eyes, something soft behind them.
Oh my God.
"This is too much, don't you think?" I point at our surroundings, filled with candles and balloons.
"Well you always liked grand gestures." He laughs.
He touches my cheek. "Harry told me." He doesn't need to explain for me to understand that he told him about my feelings. "I like you too, darling"
I forget how to breath when he put his forehead to mine. "Will you be my girlfriend, baby?"
I'm about to say yes when I get a strange feeling. I frown when I repeat his words in my head.
Ever since you had that... change in you. I have been feeling differently.
I suddenly get a huge flashback of mamories of everytime he made comments about my weight and told me I don't look good in things I wear. How he would look at me with disgust every time I wore something that showed my strech marked skin. He was so bad to me.
He doesn't deserve me.
I take a step back creating space between us when I realize it. He frowns in confusion.
"Y/N" He looks at me worriedly.
"No" I whisper giving him the bouquet back.
"What?" He says.
"No" I say firmly this time. "I won't be your girlfriend."
"Is this a joke." He laughs nervously but stops when he realizes I'm not kidding. "Why"
"Because I remember how rude you were to me about my weight." I look at him with a hard look. "If you didn't accept me at my worse, you don't deserve me at my best."
I don't wait for his reaction and turn back with tears in my eyes. I get out of the house leaving him in my living room. I don't turn to look at him one last time because I know if I do I might forget everything and take him back.
I drive straight to Harry's house without letting a tear drop and only cry in his arms letting in all the comfort he's giving. He tries to get me to talk but I can't get a word out so I just sob in his embrace.
I don't think everything will be the same again.
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16 notes · View notes
taegularities · 9 months
Note
I don't think it's fair to assume someone's always free and is required to respond to us. Especially because, as mean as it sounds, we all have a life. Responsibilities, work, school, personal ish, and mental health can all restrict us from being active. At the end of the day this is just a hobby. It's supposed to be fun! You should never feel obligated to respond to someone!
On the other hand, I can kind of understand their frustration to an extent. There are times where it seems like you choose the same couple of users/anons to actively respond to (Which again is okay) But due to this, I can see how some people may feel hurt!
I think it might be helpful to both you and all of us, if you try to respond to your asks before releasing another fic - only because releasing another chapter/fic is going to lead to more feedback, which is only going to add to the overloading amount of asks you have so far! (I hope you don't take offense to this, I truly don't mean this in a negative way and am sorry if it seems that way!)
hi love!! i didn't take offense, no worries. i agree with you, it'd be good to answer most of the asks before dropping another chapter. that's actually what i was going to do, i just didn't get to it so far!! the semester was hardcore, but i've a liiittle more time now, so i will. thank you for your suggestions and for telling me all that in such a neutral/kind way, i appreciate it!!
i do understand when someone feels frustrated about it — i think it's absolutely okay when someone asks "did you get my message", too. i just appreciate it when the tone is kind as well and not straight up rude, and for some reason i got more than just one of those yday lol. bc you're right, life does get busy, and there are days when i'm just able to answer 2 asks bc i'm either tired or busy. on these days, it gets hard to answer every single ask that comes in, and i hope everyone understands that, bc i'm definitely not ignoring anyone on purpose!!
i will also say — while it might seem like i only respond to messages by the same people, in reality i do actively answer most of the stuff i get.. or at least i try to do so for as many as possible, those by unsigned anons, too.. just not always all at once. i think it might seem that way bc some ppl send in messages every day or more often than others, so they end up being on my blog more often, does that make sense? sometimes they send 2-3 asks and then i even try to combine asks or space them out and answer other stuff in between, so it doesn't look like i prefer anyone. so yeah, i can assure that i don't actively pick out ppl to answer to. and with anons, unless they're signed, i can't even pick specific ones since you guys are.. well, on anon :')
just wanna say that i will try to be better and i'm sorry i made you guys feel like i'm ignoring you!! i see everything and appreciate it and i love you and i promise i don't prioritise anyone over anyone else. please just bear with me, too!! this is my busiest year so far, so sometimes it'll take time to get to everything... plus, i always fear i might be annoying when i answer too much at once lol like i lose followers everytime i answer too much hdjdkdjs 😭 but yeah, be patient.. even answering 7-8 asks sometimes takes about an hour, like last night. so yeah... hope you understand, but i shall do better 🤍 oh and that being said, pls don't stop communicating and talking to me!! i love seeing y'all's messages, so keep it coming, i truly do love you!!
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dojae-huh · 10 months
Note
Doyoung buttering up to sm. isn’t he actually making connection with people in sm and outside of it? He’s trying too hard. Why is it wrong for ppl working hard. Why is doyoung working hard is considered as trying too hard and buttering ppl up when jaehyun who have been doing the same is said to be self-made. Why do ppl say doyoung is undeserving because he is ugly? Can’t ugly ppl be successful? Can’t they be celebrities? (just let’s say it’s true he is ugly) Why only pretty people deserve to be successful? They say jaehyun is treated unfairly in sm. no bts, no support in sm. only because that damn nctsmtown account is inconsistent with the posting (i’m suspecting their managers are the one who are in charge of it. Cus why would it be so inconsistent? They got diff managers for individual schedules). Did sm not support jaehyun in other resources? Did jaehyun pay for the expenses himself? Sm supports both, so I don’t understand why doyoung is getting the heat. Just cus he’s nerdy, trying too hard, not cool, not suave, not chill (in their eyes). Just because he doesn’t fit in the cool guy stereotypes. Just because he’s not viral materials. What’s important is he still returns the investment to sm. So what if he is not as popular as jaehyun. The thing is he still gives big impact even tho lesser jaehyun. Like is 10M ppl a small number? Is it just 10 ppl? It’s million fgs. Even if the whole 1.6b ppl followed they would still say he is undeserving. Like jaehyun would not lose his source of income even if doyoung got 100 more jobs than him. He got his own fans doyoung got his own. Just mind your own business. I don’t understand. They’re so proud of jaehyun but would keep track on doyoung just to insult him. So what if he’s nugu. Just let him be. You don’t go harass thousands of other idols who are less popular. Just treat him like a nugu. A nobody to you whom u’re supposed to ignore not tweeting like crazy everytime he does sth. Just be a non- fan not a hater u ndDrBhGhkij
Anti-fans come from different countries, so the cultural mechanisms behind their behaviour differ somewhat, there is no one answer. I've already written enough posts with possible reasons for antis.
I do see plenty of trolls though. If an acc' posts consist of 90% replies to fans and shippers, then evidently the fun for the acc's owner lies in provoking others and not in simping after and praising the chosen bias.
Jaehyun also has his haters who say he has no talents and is pushed by SM too much. You just don't see those twits due to the way twitter forms infobubbles.
The reality of Jaehyun being all over Doyoung hurts Jaehyun's obsessed stans. Let them simper in their spit.
Fans of all neos (and other SM groups) complain that the news about their biases are not reported by SM accounts. Right now NCT centre evidently doesn't have a copywriter to take care of the official socmed accounts. A staff member who is already busy with responsibilities hustles on the side. Thus emojis and reposts instead of proper twits. SMTown twitter posts news with text in two languages.
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yourmypenguin · 2 years
Note
Have you ever considered leaving the sanders sides fandom? Like I am just eating up from your hand with all the delicious art and stuff and even like.. noooon fanwork or fanwork outside of that? but I just realised there is barely any cannnnnnon? content an I- I really like you by the way-
Sorry
I can’t write without falling into a tangent thingy.
I probably didn’t ask what I wanted so maybe it’ll hit me again and I’ll come back and try again, but y eah.
You ever think of it?
haaaah good question anon my friend!
i'm glad you asked that actually because i just recently fell back on my old fandom (attack on titan) and I'm drawing a lot of that lately. and I'm like huh, what about sander sides? what about the reversed sides? what about all my shits that i wrote for these little dudes that i was once so excited to talk about? i feel so guilty about not being active and then losing all my excitement due to life i can barely feel alive anymore
the answer to your question is a big yes, but i definitely haven't done that, not the way that people usually define "leaving fandoms" i think. because like i said i just fell back to my old fandom, i got into aot since middle school, dropped out a bit because the anime went on a 4 year hiatus, then fell back in everytime i feel like it, then out and in over and over again. same thing with sander sides, which i also joined since high school, but never got the ideas or guts to post the stuff i make, but at the time that i started with all this content, it was truly a rough time i was going through. Sander sides got me through that time and creating something for my brain rotting helped a lot, and now i'm doing it with aot again too.
that's just how i deal with things essentially and I'm trying my best not to give myself a hard time with that. i know that you guys are good enough to understand too, cuz this fandom is truly wholesome and amazing and everyone is so nice, but I'm just going through my little slumber and don't have as much brain rotting for this one thing like i used to. doesn't mean that i don't love thomas, don't love the sides and making content and art for all of them, and i certainly love you guys a whole lot. i still haven't left the discord servers of my sander sides people because i still adore them with my whole heart.
if i don't create canon content for something, don't worry, i just like to go off the bridge and ask what if a lot. and,,,, i would also like to thank you so much for enjoying my art! i know i haven't posted much of my original art here but i would love to be able to share with you guys my on going og comics and stuff like that, which i will probably be sharing on my Instagram @didlelydan and my other fandom contents are on twitter at @yourmypenguin as well! if you like my art and would like to see what else i can bring to the table, you can follow me there!!!
so TL;DR: I love this fandom and i have thought of leaving it but it is unlikely that i will ever do it for real, i will always be here lurking, in spirit, whatever, Thomas will always be one of my big inspirations, i still like to create content, but that comes in waves and i try not to be too hard on myself for not always active, i cant always be creative and that's ok!!
thanks for the question, anon x
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Text
out of touch part 3 ♡
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OUT OF TOUCH PART 1 ♡
OUT OF TOUCH PART 2 ♡
OUT OF TOUCH PART 4 ♡
word count : it's a bit long so enjoy yourself here get comfortable
summary : after your first 2 days at school, everything changed, the moment you laid your eyes on Eddie but you're scared to give your heart and trust on someone again after traumatic experience at all of the schools you've been to and only if you knew how he feels for you.
IF ANY OF THESE WARNINGS TRIGGERING YOU PLEASE DON'T CONTINUE TO CONSUME ANY MEDIA
warnings : 18+ Eddie Munson x FEM!reader, the reader has a bullying trauma, language, no use of y/n but the reader is Amanda Jones, s*xual harassment (but don't worry, the reader defends herself cause' she's a strong woman), alcohol consumption, vi0lence, Jason Carver appearance sorry, mentions of bl00d, age gap the reader is (19) and Eddie is (21), yeah that's all
what to expect : stranger to lovers, fluff, angst, mutual pining drama, action, clueless idiots who can't make the first move lol
author note : I'm sorry if I took long to create the part 3 of the story! I hope you enjoyed and liked reading my very first fiction! 🥺🫶🏻
THE STORY IS SET IN 1987!
and I removed the part where Eddie DIDN'T DIE! 😤
You and Eddie both ran towards to the school's parking lot
In a rush, Eddie still helped you get in the passenger seat and he slams the door quickly as he runs to the driver's seat
even when you guys are in a hurry he always reminds you to put on your seatbelt
The street lights on the road at night the light hits your face everytime you pass them and the cool breeze from the window makes you feel complete and just right like this is the thing that you always wanted but somehow it feels so fast for you and it feels weird at the same time, maybe, Eddie's friends were right about you two, you guys were made for each other....
the sudden insecurity takes over you, he doesn't deserve someone like you, he deserves someone better, "what am I even doing?" you think to yourself at the thought that you finally already know what the truth is that, you really do like Eddie, you finally realize it after 2 days being with him, but you don't want to dive deeper into it because you might lose yourself.
You're overthinking right now, you pick your dry lips, "what if's" is all what you're thinking right now at the moment.
What if he gets tired of you?
What if you gave him your whole heart and he might just throw it all away?
What if he's just playing with you
What if he broke your trust
What if he is just like the same people that are mean to you at school
What if, what if, what if keeps repeating all over your head
You can't believe that this is happening, you've never think like this before and you never thought of it, maybe, it's because of the victim blaming and the confusion that bullying has done to you....
You we're so confident, happy, all smiles, you never worrying about everything but that all went down when that happened, you thought you can carry it, you thought you can handle it, you thought you can just ignore it, but now, you all bottled up and you can't take it anymore so you let it go....
you've been depressed, you have no energy anymore to go to school, you always been absent, but you try to attend as much as you can, you finish it all off so that you can finally go leave the fucking school that it broke your whole being...
It's so hard to recover after all you've been through those years, but you remind yourself that it's okay even it's just a little small and slow process... your parents might don't understand what's happening to you at first and you did have arguments before but it takes time for them to fully understand what's going on and you thank them for that and they apologize and they also realized the mistake that they did in the first place...
It's been tough to socialize again with everyone, new environment, new school, new faces, it's hard for you to trust someone now, so that you've been thinking a lot since you came into Hawkins High...
You're afraid that Eddie or anyone you met might done the same thing with you
This maybe a good time at first but soon you will never know what will happen, maybe tomorrow will be different, maybe this school might be the only exception as you thought yesterday....
You scratch your forehead as you take a deep breath and you shake your head after so you can forget all of those thoughts, you want to avoid them all, but, sometimes you can't help it, you're just scared that someone will put another trauma to you that it will take time to recover again....
2 days, the first 2 days went so perfectly and it give you goosebumps of how everything is going so well....
For what you didn't know after all of these thoughts going on inside your head
Eddie always take a chance to glance at you to see what you're doing...
every minute, every second that he can get to take a look at you...
he saw your habits and your eyes and your expression, he knows something is wrong but of course he doesn't want to ask you about it right away, he doesn't wanna disrespect your boundaries but he still wants to know what's going on of your sudden change of emotions
he puts his hand on your shoulder "hey, Amanda, are you doing okay?"
you jumped by his touch because of how deep your thoughts are- you let out a breathy "Oh" and you chuckled nervously
"Eddie, I'm fine, don't worry but thank you" you give him a slight sad smile
Eddie nods at you but he saw something in your eyes, a look that you're longing for care and belief for someone
You look away from his gaze as you look on the road sightseeing at the places passed
His eyes softens while he watches you, looking back at the road and looks back at you again as he can, he really wanted to know so badly so that he can help you like he just wants you to be okay with everything, but he is also afraid you that you might get mad at him for asking such personal stuff so he brushes off at the thought of that...
The drive to the Hideout might took a while to get there but you guys still made it right on time...
He stopped taking glances at you as he thinks to himself about you....
ever since Eddie met you, he saw your eyes and he can see how much you are in pain, you just hide it with a sweet smile, but he can still see that you're still, you, just grown and matured but nevertheless about everything has happened to you, even he didn't knew the whole story, he still loves you just the way you are, every imperfection and flaws and all he likes everything about you ever since he saw you for the first time in the school hallway, he wanna spill this feeling at you so bad but he also wants to wait and to say it in a right right time... he knows that you're carrying something inside you for too long and you're just shutting and avoiding everyone else who is trying to love and care for you... he just wants you to open up and not seeing you like this, it's killing him to see you like this...
He also feels the same way, he can feel the spark and he feels complete whenever you're with him... he smiles a little bit at the thought of that... as he parks up the van...
Eddie turns off the engine and he turns to you and grabs your hand
You're about to reach for the door handle but you felt Eddie's touch on your hand so you turn to look at him
"Not those eyes again" you think to yourself he looks at you with such concern
"Are you sure you still want to come?" eyes still glued to you as he try to analyze your face
"I- I'm sure, Eddie, I still want to go with you." you can't even keep a straight eye contact with him and you shift from your seat and you look away from him
"Ah- ah" he tuts and he holds your face to make you look at him "I need sure answers, sweetheart, if you're not feeling up for it, then it's okay, I won't feel bad." as he rubs his thumb on your cheeks
your stomach twirls on how he holds you, you just can't understand why you feel so safe with him
You stare at him for a while and you hold his arm where he places your hand on your cheek and you say "No, Eddie, I think- I'm just overwhelmed at everything, but I'm okay, I still wanna go with you."
He nods as he leans down to kiss your cheek again and it sends shiver down to your spine of how his lips touch your soft skin
He always loves to caught you off guard by his actions and he snickers of how you're still unfazed of what just happened
You blinked and you look down and look back up at him and give him a shy smile
"Let's go" he says
He helps you to get out of his van as always and you look at the place
There's disco lights everywhere from the inside and outside of the building and you can hear the loud music inside even though it sounds cloudy you can still recognize the song, Guns N' Roses Welcome To The Jungle is playing
Eddie checks his beloved van for the one last time and he appears beside you
He looks at you and he can see that you're observing the place
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"So, what do you think?"
"Huh?"
he chuckles "the place?"
"Oh, uh- it looks fine to me."
"Really?" he fears that you might not like what he's doing like yeah he knows that you love also rock bands but he became anxious at the thought of you wanting to go home because you feel uncomfortable at the place
"Yeah" he sees your curious smile while still looking around the place so that made him feel a little bit better
"I bet you never been to a bar before?"
Your eyes still traveling around the place and you saw there's 2 guys drunk together as they struggle to balance themselves you giggle quietly but Eddie can hear it and he stares at you more longer and you saw people coming outside to take a cigarette break and lots of people coming in with a group of friends laughing as they enter the bar
you look back at him and nod
"It's your first time, are you nervous?"
"No, I don't, I'll be fine." You reassure him
"Okay then, um- can I ask you something?"
"yeah, sure, what is it?" you respond without looking at him
"Can I hold your hand?" he asks with a hesitant tone but he really wants to
"What?" a bolt out of the blue runs down to blood and veins and it made your hands feel cold
He laughs as he taken you by surprise as he reaches for your hand and he intertwines both of your fingers and you did the same and you both walk towards to the bar
"I'll take that as a yes." Eddie says to you while you're still dazed of his actions
You kept looking down at your hand while he holds it, you felt butterflies on your stomach as he tightens his grip on you and he knows that you're looking at it and you keep looking down and you smile to yourself and you blushed
of course, Eddie always notices it as he chortled he turns to you and he teases you gesturing to your cheeks
Your face become even more redder as you put on a smirk on your face you roll your eyes playfully and you push him on his chest
He laughes even harder as he continues to tease you
You remove your hand on him and you cross both of your arms and you turn away from him and your cheeks is red as a tomato and you're avoiding his eye contact as he try to tease you more and more as he chases your eyes and he always appears infront of you everytime you try to look away from him
He jumped and chuckled with his hands throw up in the air and he plays with it to annoy you more
"Oh my god, please stop!" you uncross both of your arms in frustration
"Oh my god, please stop!" he mocks you with a same tone that you did and he lets out an evil laugh
Your face don't stop reddening and you shoved both of hands in your face in humiliation
You removed your hands away from your face and you glare at Eddie with a smug on his face "You're getting on my nerves, Munson."
"Aw, are you vexing me now?"
"Yes, oh yes, absolutely, you're making my blood boil."
Eddie can see at your expression that you're really really upset at him and oh yeah he loves when he does that to you and he also loves that you both have the same temper and he can see your forehead scrunching and your eyes filled with irritation and it looks like you're ready to slap him off the face
Eddie leans down on you and he pinches your cheek harder that it made you hiss at how harder he squishes it
"You're so cute when I successfully annoy you." he laughs as he runs away from you with his mouth open wide to make you chase after him
You massage your cheek with circling motions and you shouted out loud to him "that fucking hurt, Eddie! you're going to pay for that!"
"Yeah, yeah, you will! if you can catch me!" Eddie shrugs as he stops running for a minute
Eddie bends over to hold his stomach from laughing too hard he sees you like a kid, he watches you stomping on the ground and he imagines that both of you are in a cartoon show, he can see that your face blowing up like kettle that he can picture a smoke coming out of both your ears.
You ran so fast towards him that it made Eddie flinched as he chuckles breathlessly he laughs of how serious you are chasing after him
Marlon the bartender at the bar while wiping the counter, he looks up and he sees the both of you running around the all over the place
He snorts as he hears you "You're so infuriating, Eddie!" You complained cause you can't catch him on the other side of the room
"Aw, that's that mean that I won? princess?"
You shake your head ignoring that it made your heart flutters at the nickname "No, you fucking don't that's so unfair!"
You continue to chase after him as he almost trips to the ground
You laughed as he looks back at you he flips you off until he halts his tracks as he sees his bandmates already arrived in there watching the both of you playing around the bar
You stopped infront of him and you furrow your brows as you follow to where his looking at and you turn around and you saw his bandmates and you let out a breathy "Oh" and you giggle catching up your breath as you put both of your hands on your knees
"They're ridiculously so cute." Gareth exclaims to Jeff
Jeff nods and waves at the both of you playfully wiggles his fingers teasing you both
He looks back at Gareth with a smirk on his face "Are you seeing this shit? they just met 2 days ago and they act like they've been together before, Eddie needs to act up like literally right now." he gestures to the both of you
Gareth agrees while he pouts his bottom lip raising both of his eyebrows and he nods his head aggressively
Eric appears beside them the one member you haven't met yet and you look at him with curiosity and you stand up straight and you look back at Eddie
He's already looking at you and he says "uh- yeah, there's one more member his name is Eric, he's the one that graduated first." he shrugs
"Oh" you both walk towards to them
"How's the chase? Who won?" Gareth grins at the both of you and Jeff snickers to the flushed cheeks that Eddie is having
You grin back at Gareth and he raise his eyebrows at you and you look back at Eddie with a smirk on your face
Eddie is taken a back of your expression as he pulled his brows together as he look back at his friends raising his both of his shoulders
all of them shrugged and Jeff throws his hand up in defense
You take the opportunity of him being distracted
You elbowed him in the stomach that made him cough and you made a loud smack to his forehead
Gareth closes his fist puts over his mouth and said a loud "Ohhhh" and Jeff laughs as he throws his head back and Eric's jaw dropped of what just happened
"OW- JESUS H. CHRIST!" Eddie yells that made people stare at all of you and he coughs as he glares at you
"What the hell is that for?"
You look at him with a sassy expression and you raise your eyebrow to him
"Payback." You say it with such confidence with your hand over your hip
Jeff laughs and he claps his hands and he says "Alright, alright, feisty girl, you done your job and I'm proud of you, as much as I want to watch more." He glares back at Eddie
Gareth and Eric smirks at each other as they communicate with their minds
He huffs while recovering from what you did to him "Dude." with his hands gestures in annoyance
"Now, let me take you at the back stage before you could do so much harm to him." Jeff says it when a sarcastic tone as he pouts at Eddie while he flutter his eyes at him
Eddie shakes his head "Piss off, Jeff!"
Jeff looks at you and you both shrugged
At that moment you knew that Jeff and you will get along together because you both love to tease Eddie the same way he did.
Jeff walks towards you offering his arm to hold out for you and he say with an accent "Milady?"
"Well, of course my good sir."
You both chuckled and you both glare at Eddie and you wink at him teasingly and you say "See ya later, rockstar!"
He rolls his eyes with a hint of smile in them he watches you as you both and Jeff enters at the backstage, he can still hear the echoes of laughter from you two.
Eddie look back at his two friends left and Gareth with a smirk is still on him and Eric with a confusion on his face but in a good way
Eric can't hold it any longer as he still continues to wonder why Eddie has a girl with him, it's not that he doesn't like it but he never sees him having one and he is now dying of curiosity as he groans both of his friends
"Can someone please update me of what's going?!" Eric exclaims as he nudges Gareth's arm so harshly
"What?!" Gareth's face falls and he turns to look back at Eric with annoyance "Well, it's not my fault that you've been away for college!"
"Education is important to me, you guys know that, but you could at least tell me over the phone!"
Gareth and Eddie sighs
"Look is not like she's been here for a long time now we just met 2 days ago." Eddie says while looking back at Eric with a apologetic smile
"I'm sorry? Come again?"
"She just came to the school 2 days ago-"
Eric cuts him off by saying "Yeah, yeah I heard that, the way you said 2 DAYS AGO just freaking blew my mind." he gestures both of his hands over the sides of his head to make a mind-blowing action
Gareth laughs and he agrees with Eric "Exactly, man! This is why I'm so excited to see you again because we need to wake the fuck up of his clueless dumb brain!" Gareth says with such passion as he moves back up and down with frustration
Eddie scoffed "you guys have no idea what you're talking about."
Gareth and Eric looks back at each other and darts back to Eddie
"Yeah, right." Eric nods sarcastically
Gareth shakes his head and puts the finger on his temple at the thought of Eddie acting cool not admitting that he's truly have feelings for you
he says "they're literally falling over each other everytime they're together and I'm surprised they're not even official yet." he put both of his hands inside of his pants pockets as he sighs lowering his back leaning to the both of his friends
Gareth looks down in disappointment and Eric loses his mind of what he just heard
"Oh, you're going to be fucking kidding me! right now, Eddie?!?" Eric shouted at loud at Eddie
"Wha- what's wrong, calm down." Eddie startled as he stutters at his friends sudden exclaims
"This" Eric points to him "This isn't like you" he gestures you from the top to the bottom
"You always been so honest like you always said the truth if you like someone like literally! You just said it right away! out of all of us you're the only one has the guts to tell someone how you feel and now you're so worked up about some girl that you met 2 days ago?!? fucking 2 days ago?!? and hell- that is different everything about you look right now is different." Eric finished as he crosses both of his arms
Eddie stared at him with guilt coming over his eyes
Eric's words went straight to his chest because all of what he just said is painfully true
He remembers the time last year, all of them having a bet whose going to confess at their crushes
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Back in 1986
Eddie is the only one confessed his crush to Chrissy before
Chrissy Cunningham is sweet, kind, pretty cheerleader popular girl, the queen of Hawkins High
They already knew each other back in middle school, Eddie couldn't believe that his crush was in the same room cheering with his band performing for a talent show... Chrissy realization flashes back in her eyes as she remembers the band's name "Corroded Coffin" she apologize to Eddie that she didn't recognize him at first she said that he looks so different before, Eddie said it was okay and he understands why...
His hair was buzzed and he doesn't have those "sweet" tattoos yet...
Chrissy even mentioned that he plays guitar and he still does until now, Eddie made her laugh and that's enough for him to see her liked that it was full bliss to him... after that Eddie confess his feelings to her...
Even though Chrissy didn't reciprocate her feelings to Eddie, they're not mutual and Eddie understands and respects that...
Chrissy expects him to be mad at her but Eddie doesn't mind it at all and he still continues to treat her like he always does, Chrissy is just in awe on how Eddie is being so nice to her and that's the reason why she changes her perspective on other people and she also realizes that Jason is manipulating her and clouding her thoughts with judgement that Jason has thought to her.
And that also made her to breakup to the son of bitch bully school jock Jason Carver... Eddie made her realize her worth that Jason doesn't deserve someone like her...
Eddie finds out about that and he lets out a smug as he sees Jason crying like a kid throwing tantrums as Chrissy leaves him in the school's parking lot, he can't believe that Jason behaves like that when he acts all tough at school...
Chrissy focus on her studies after graduating senior high school she went straight to college and she takes on becoming a fashion designer someday
Jason on the other hand, he haven't changed still being a jerk to everyone as he struggles to earn money for his college his parents are in real debt, sucks to be him...
Eddie and Chrissy remained friends till this day
Eric is one of the realest friend that Eddie has ever had in his life, he's like the big brother of the friendship
Unlike Jeff and Gareth are the most unserious ones, but they're still decent and very understanding to the group..
Yeah, he can be fun and silly but when times get tough, he will always be there for his friends and he listens to them
Eric remembered back when they're in junior high school, he's a freshman, he never lets anyone bully him, that's the reputation that he has back then, if you mess with him you're doomed
But deep inside all he wanted is to have friends, he was all alone, until Eddie introduced himself to him, Eric couldn't forget the day that Eddie, Jeff and Gareth welcomed him to their club and they became bestfriends for life
That time in his life was so special to him and it's also nice to think about that he was known for such a rebellious kid at school but that didn't stop Eddie to become friends with him...
Obviously, Eddie is the most purest of them all, the kind-hearted human being ever, he is not like what the people been talking about him at school, he can be scary and mean when it's needed...
People are afraid of him or maybe even interacted with him, they would just ran off with his presence and he would just laugh and shake his head off and he just got used to it at the way that he's being treated at school
But Eric knew that Eddie wished people have different perspective at him
"they judge me before they even know me." Eddie thinks to himself
Eddie didn't like bullies at all, he despises them, he likes to teases them all the time but Jason is the only one who is brave enough to face him which Eddie thought it's so silly to watch him act like he's the hero to the school bullying the so-called "freaks" as he calls them
Steve, Dustin, Mike, and Lucas loved Eddie because of how open minded he was, he never sticks to what other people say about him, he never cares about what opinions people have on him, if some of his friends wants to do something new, he lets them, he is so caring and understanding person which all of his friends wished they knew, they knew how good hearted Eddie is...
But sadly... they just don't give him a chance...
Eddie didn't mind it all, he tried so many times to fit in, but he couldn't, that's why he gave up trying to be someone that he's not, so he just continue to be himself...
That's what Eddie sees in you, he sees himself in you, you also left the world like he does and you both have in common in literally everything...
In music, fashion, you both have the same temper, doesn't give a fuck about everyone thinks to the both of you, you both hated mean people until....
All of that changed when you both met, 2 days ago...
You and Eddie have the same thoughts that you both couldn't believe that you can think of something like that....
You both we're never insecure, you both never get scared easily, you both never get nervous when you with each other...
All of this feelings are new to you and to himself
But why this is happening?! is it true?! is it a Destiny?!
Eddie sighed "Alright, Eric, fine you got me! I already asked her out on the first day and I respect her decision that she wanted us to get to know each other first, but she said she would love to come with me, soon" he says with uncertainty in his eyes
Eric saw it, he knew Eddie all of his life, he knows, he just knows it
"Oh, boy"
"What now"
"You thought she likes someone else, don't you?"
Gareth eyes widened as he looks back at Eddie
Eddie stumbles as he says "I- I don't know- mm- maybe she is." he stutters
"I don't think so, dude." Gareth says it's so unlike him to be this serious but when Eddie sees him acts like this way is no joke
"I see the way she looks at you and the way you look at her, I've never seen anyone looks like that at each other." He added
Eric looks at Gareth and darts his eye back to Eddie with confusion on his eyes
"Why'd you think something like that?" Eric asks with eagerness waiting for his answer
Eddie can't even look at Eric in the eye as he stutters to respond to him again
"I think it's because of Steve, Steve Harrington, she's a childhood bestfriend." Gareth says
Eric glares at Eddie with displeased expression across of his face
"What?! that was the reason?! Steve is a good guy, why do you think of him something like that?! why do you assume it? I thought you trust him?" Eric says while ignoring the fact that you both crossed the same paths together being friends with Steve and he thought of Destiny as he trying to look at Eddie eyes
Eddie looks back up at Eric and he says "I know, I know, I don't know what came over me ever since I met her, man, I couldn't think clearly, I know I can handle rejections before but I don't think I can handle it, if she rejected me." he says it with a shaking voice
Eric and Gareth raise both of their eyebrows
Just that alone, Eric and Gareth knew that Eddie is truly and deeply in love with you...
"You know, you should talk to Steve." Gareth says
"What?"
"He's your bestfriend, right? I'm sure he'll understand it like talk to him of how you feel about her."
"I second to that" Eric added while shrugs at Gareth
"What if, he saids something that-
"But what if he's not?"
You and Steve ever since when you we're kids back then until now are simply just platonic friendship, you haven't even talked to him yet but you regret your actions back then after what Nancy said to you and she probably didn't even mean to hurt your feelings but it made you realize how much you changed back then and you feel sorry and bad for Steve and you will make it up to him soon... even though Steve it doesn't matter to him of what you did back then all he ever wanted is to be there for you and listen to you...
"What if, they're just friends?! you should talk to him, so you can have a peace of mind! not like you looking a miserable piece of crap." Eric gestures to Eddie's stressed expression
Gareth laughs while holding his chest
Eddie glares at Gareth
"Wait- dude, he's right, stop assuming something and find it out for yourself!" Gareth holds his hands out in surrender
Eddie lets out a big sigh and Eric walks beside him and pats his back
"You'll be okay and I know she's only have eyes for you, I can feel it and I'm always right."
"You think so?"
Gareth leans down "We know so."
Eddie looks at Eric and Gareth with hopeful eyes and a smile
Gareth leans back as he looks over at Eddie shoulder squinting his eyes as he heard someone's voice familiar entering the bar
Eric and Eddie furrowed their brows at Gareth until they heard the same thing as they turn around
"What the fuck"
"Is he fucking serious?"
"No, fucking way."
Jason with his 2 friends entered the bar, he looks horrible like he hasn't slept the whole day, shouting out loud while he walks inside the bar, his friends laughing as they steal drink from someone's hand and smashing the glass down to the floor...
Eddie glares at Marlon as he already watching Jason entering his bar
Marlon looks back at Eddie where he leaves the counter and walk towards him
"Don't worry, son, I'll handle this."
"You better." Eddie says it with a serious tone as he watches Marlon walks over to Jason
Gareth and Eric looks back at each other with their eyes flaming with anger as they try to control it
"Is there a problem here?" Marlon asks
"Oh, no- sir, there's no problem here."
2 of his friends laughs with a mischievous look at their faces
Marlon glares at them while he scrunches up his forehead
"We promise, old man, we're here to drink, not to cause any trouble." Jason says throwing his hands up in defense
Marlon doesn't trust them but he is still kind and lets them in but he looks at his security guards giving them a warning to look after them and they nod
Marlon scoffed "I'll let you have your fun but don't fuck around with my bar and the other guests in here, alright?"
Jason chuckles "Yeah, sure, whatever you say, man" he says it sarcastically
Marlon walks away while shaking his head heading back to his counter until Eddie stops him holding his arm
Marlon looks at Eddie with anger on his eyes "What did he say?"
"He said they'll just have a drink."
He huffed "and you believe that?"
"What am I supposed to do?"
"Kick them out!"
"It will just make the scenario worse, you know that he will never leave."
Eddie sigh in frustration as he looks down
"Kid, you got a show to do, don't mind them."
Eddie nods as he lets Marlon walks away from him
Eric and Gareth breathes heavily and they all look at Jason who is already looking at them
Jason raises his glass to them, giving them a backhanded smile and he takes a sip of his drink with his eyes flashes with anger
Eddie clenches his jaw as he flips him off while Eric and Gareth stares at him intensely
Jason laughs while he watches the three walk away heading towards at the backstage
"Oh, he wants to make me the bad guy, huh, let's see about that." Jason mumbles to himself
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Jeff gives you tour of their dressing room
you expected to be messy and not so interesting but holy shit-
You look all over their tables like ones that you've seen in the movies and obviously you recognized which one is from Eddie's and you smile at it
Jeff saw your awestruck expression while your eyes still roaming around
He chuckles to the sight of it as he walks beside you
"Uh- hey, Amanda can I ask you something?"
You turn to look at him noticing a curious expression from his face
You tilt your head at him and nod and you say
"Fire away, Jeff"
"Do you like Eddie?"
You blink rapidly and you avoid looking at his eyes
he giggled and he holds your hand
"Hey, hey, don't worry about it, Amanda, I knew it since I saw you for the first time at the cafeteria."
You look at him for a sec and you shake your head and look down
"Oh, god" you throw your head back and sighed
You can't lie to him now and he already caught you
"I don't even know- why I-" you stuttered you breathe deeply
Jeff nods at you with eagerness as he waits for you to answer
"I've never felt this to anyone before and I don't know what to do." You swallowed harshly
Jeff can see it in your eyes and the tone of your voice- he can feel that something is pulling you away to finally tell him about your feelings but he knows it's unnecessary for you to think something like that and he knows Eddie.
Eddie is his best pal, even he's a real pain in the ass to him sometimes but he knows when Eddie loves someone he truly means it and he will always kept his word.
"Whenever what's been troubling with you, I just wanna let you know that Eddie would never ever hurt you, he would kill himself if he does something to hurt your feelings." Jeff paused as put his hand on your shoulder
"I hope you both get your shit together sooner or later." he jokes lightly
It made you chuckle "Thanks, Jeff." you give him a grateful smile
"You're always welcome." he pats your shoulder as you both look at the front door of the dressing room opened
both of you and Jeff furrowed your brows as you saw all of them with a tense expression from their faces
You walk towards to Eddie as he looks back at you he calms down at a bit when you cupped his cheeks and you say "What's the problem, Eddie?"
"What's going on?" Jeff asked them as he glares at everyone
even you felt that Eddie calmed down but you can still see his eyes, his piercing eyes filled with fury coming right out of them
Gareth sighs in exasperation and he says "Jason and his thugs are in the bar."
"What?!" Jeff exclaimed and now his face looks the same with his band
You look back at Jeff and Gareth watching them grab a beer
Meanwhile Eric sits down at a couch as he tries to calm down
You look at them all with concern and confusion and you glance at Eddie still at rage
He looks back at you and somehow his gaze softens at you everytime he takes a look at you
He holds your arm where you hold his cheeks and he looks down and he sighed as he try to explain the situation
"Jason Carver, is the one who gave us fucking terror to our highschool life." he scoffed
You nod at him and you rub your thumb to his cheeks
"I just hate it whenever you do to them, they won't ever stop tormenting your life."
"I can relate to that."
Marlon came into the dressing room saying they're up in 10 minutes
Everyone gets up and get ready
Before you remove your hand from his cheek and you said to him "just pretend that he isn't there, Eddie, don't let your night ruin because of him." You let out a small smile
He smiles back at you and he lets his hand rests at your hold and he closes his eyes for a moment
Your heartbeats even more faster as you watch him and you can feel yourself lifting like you were on a cloud nine
You can't even resist yourself to lean down and kiss him on the cheek
Eddie startled at your action as he jumps back into reality remembering that he is in a dressing room with his friends and you
ignoring the fact what you just did infront of his friends- you just giggled and you told him "I'll be in the front watching you guys play."
Gareth, Jeff and Eric all of them glare at each other with a knowing look and they smirk at Eddie
Eddie flushing up at the moment can't even look at you straight in the eyes with his lips parted and he darts his eyes at his friends
you and the boys noticing the red cheeks on him
He rolls his eyes with a smile on the side and give his friends a disapproving look
"alright, alright," Gareth throw his hand up in defense
Jeff flutter his eyes at Eddie teasingly and Eric wiggles his brows at him
You look back at them and you laughed
"Okay, fine, I'll leave- so you won't feel embarrassed anymore." You shake your head
Eddie face became even more red and he clears his throat
You removed your hand from his cheek and Eddie already misses your touch and he watches you leave and you give him a blow kiss
Eddie smirks at you
Gareth whistles while he watches the scene from his reflection in the mirror
"Our boy is done for." Jeff while fixing his outfit
"and you're telling me that she's likes someone else?! are you that fucking blind?!" Eric gestures to the door from where you walked out and grabs his guitar
Eddie must've flipping his friends off at this moment but all of what they just said to him is all blurry to his ears
He is locked in you, he had fallen so hard that he can't even breathe, he is still unfazed....
He shakes his head off and turns around to his friends with a warning glare and cursing all of them and he walks away
"Man, he is so fucked up with Amanda." Gareth says it while he couldn't believe what just strucked at Eddie to you...
You feel like you needed a drink so you walked towards at the counter and you sat down
Marlon walks over to you and he asks "could I get you anything, doll?"
"um- yeah just one bottle of Budweiser please."
He nods and grabs the beer from fridge and removes the cap off using a bottle opener
He puts it down on the counter and you grab it and take a sip of it
Marlon wanted to ask something but he doesn't want to pry but he is just curious why you're with the boys, especially Eddie...
"Uh- are you Eddie's girlfriend?" Marlon hesitant tone coming out from his voice
"Oh, no, no, we're just friends." You respond as you shift from your seat
"You looked good together though, just saying." He chuckles while he prepares another drink for the customer
"Why does everyone keep saying that?!" You exclaimed at him while you slam your hands down on the counter
Marlon laughs while shaking his head "I'm sorry, I haven't introduced myself to you, I'm Marlon, I am friends with Eddie's uncle since highschool."
"Oh, wow, that's so cool! I'm Amanda by the way." You waved at him
"pleased to meet you, Amanda- so uh- yeah, I'm the one who influenced that kid in music and I remember him saving up his money so he could get his dream guitar"
You smile and you nod at him to continue
"I wanna teach him but he is so stubborn that he said can learn by himself.... I gotta admit even he is so difficult sometimes, he's a true artist he takes this very seriously."
You giggled "Tell me about it." You start
"He always gets mad when I try to carry my stuff to school or going outside from his van." You scoffed and you raise your bottle to drink it
Marlon crossed his arms and he leans down at you
You lean backwards and you eye him in confusion
"What's the matter?"
"He likes you"
You roll your eyes and you look down at your bottle and you sighed "I know"
Marlon leans back with a questioning look "huh"
You look back at him and you blinked rapidly "I know ever since I came to the school 2 days ago."
"Damn"
You laughed "yeah, damn"
"Then why you guys aren't dating yet?"
You scratch your head not knowing what to say "He already asks me out on my first day and I told him that I want us to get to know each first, I- I told him I would to come with him- I don't know, I guess I'm scared."
He uncrosses his arm and put his hands on the counter to lean down on you
"My dear, you have nothing to be afraid of, Eddie is a good kid, yeah he can be really annoying but I can see it.... it's something."
You eyes light up to his words and you smile at him
"And I'll tell you a secret, he may acts that he doesn't like any other music genres, but his most beloved song?"
You grin at him waiting for his answer
"He worships the song I've Had The Time Of My Life."
You bursted laughing "No kidding?" you smirk at a idea that pops into your head and you saw a jukebox across on the other side of the counter...
"No- I don't! He always denies it." He chuckles
You suddenly turn around and the guys are on the stage, they greet everyone and they introduced themselves everyone cheered on them
Marlon was right, he takes this simple show like he was performing at a concert like a rockstar and you're very impressed at his stage presence, he owns the stage, he belongs in there...
You screamed and clap your both of your hands as you shout everyone names in the stage
All of them laughed and smile as they turn their heads at you
You wave at them happily and Eddie looking at you with his heart beating in such full joy seeing you infront of the audience
"We have a special guest here tonight, my darling... Amanda." Eddie says and points at you with a wide smile
You blushed at his words and the crew put on a spotlight in you and you keep saying "no, no, no" and everyone's attention is at you right now but there's nothing you could do so you just nod and wave and smile at everyone shyly
Marlon applaused and you look back at him with a smirk on his face
You can hear all of them saying "aww" and "oooh"
Jason saw you on the other side of the bar thank god he's far away from you but he had already made a plan to his head and he looks back at his friends with a look that says something.... something bad....
"I would like to dedicate to this song to Amanda." he winks at you and you shake your head in humiliation
Marlon holds both of your shoulders and shakes it playfully and teasing you and you just keep telling him to "Stop" while you're laughing
They start playing Sunshine Of Your Love by Cream
Your eyes widen of how beautiful Eddie's voice is
You and his eyes are locked in together he doesn't try to tear away his eyes from you while he's singing to you
You take a gulp from your beer nervously and Eddie smirks at your action
after a few songs they play, you applauded very loudly and keep screaming at them
while they're singing their last song, Jason sits beside you unknowingly that he is the guy that Eddie and his friends are talking about
Jason's eyes trails from your chest down to your thighs
You're wearing a AC/DC bandshirt and a black short skirt just above your knee with stockings and black boots
You feel eyes looking at you and you turn to look at him "Can I help you?"
Jason removed his eyes from your body
Your stomach drops as you already felt something that this man have bad intentions with you
"I just wanna be friends with you" he touches your thigh and you push him away
"What the fuck?! get your hands off me!"
"Oh, come on, I know you want it" as he tries to reach for your thighs
Your eyes flashes with anger and you slap him in the face
"stay the fuck away from me, get lost!" You yelled at him
Jason glares at you breathing heavily as he leans closer to you
Marlon heard your voice and he came outside from the storage room runs back quickly to his counter
"I thought we had an agreement."
You're still mad but your eyes flicker with questions as you look back at Marlon
Jason chuckles "oh yeah, right, but remember, I'm not done with you yet."
He walks away back to his table
You shake your head and you finished drinking your beer putting it down on the counter afterwards
"Hey, I'm sorry about that- are you okay?"
"Yeah, yeah I'm fine, thank you." you sigh of relief and you smile at him
Marlon nods at you and tells you just call him whenever you need something and you hum in agreement
You look back at Eddie as you watch him sighing in exhaustion from performing, his forehead is sweaty but he still looks amazing
Jeff notices the sudden change of your expression and he nudges Eddie
Eddie looks back at him and Jeff points to you
Eddie's eyes flashes in worry and concern and as he remembers that Jason is in the bar, as he tries to understand your face
"I'm okay" you waved them off to get back to what their doing
He shows you a small smile and nod at you and he travel his eyes to Jason drinking a lot and he notices something is not right to him... It looks like he already done something bad to you... judging by the way he aggressively raises his bottle...
The show is over and Eddie and his band bid farewell to the audience and a big applause while they're walking out of the stage
You removed yourself from the seat and you ran towards Eddie and you hug him and you say "you guys are fantastic! I love it!"
Eddie tries to not stick himself to you as if you already feeling his sweat on you but you didn't care and he doesn't want you to get dirty from his sweat and you frown by his action
"Wait- no- let me go change- I just don't want you- okay, fine you can hug me." he protests but he couldn't do anything so hugs you back
You let out a wide smile at him
Gareth, Jeff and Eric admiring you both from afar
You and Eddie and the gang walk towards to the dressing room and Eddie asks you to wait outside for a minute and he promises you he'll be back and you nod at him
A sudden bang that came from the back door and you gasp and look around you saw the same guy that harassed you but before you can knock at the guys dressing room and call for help
He covers your mouth with his hands and holds you tightly that you can't remove yourself from him as he drags you away outside
You saw the two guys locking the backdoor and they ran towards to you and they grab and carry your legs so that you can't fight them off and try to escape
Eric heard something from outside and he opens the door and he looks out for you and you're not there anymore
"Eddie?"
"Yeah?"
"Where is she?"
"What?" Eddie rans quickly at the door and he look out for you and he can't see you everywhere as he tries to look for you and he walk towards to the backdoor and it won't open
Eric walked behind him and Eddie looks back at him with a knowing look and all of them know that Marlon don't lock the backdoor that early so they already know what's up
Jeff and Gareth walked outside from the dressing room as they tried to understand what's going on
"I'll get Marlon" wastes no time as he tries to run as fast as he can to him
Jeff and Gareth are sharp they picked up and knew what's going on
"Me and Gareth will look for her at the front entrance." Eddie nods at Jeff with worry flashes before his eyes
He watched them running off and he tries to open the backdoor, he kept kicking on it as he felt finally opening
Jason and his thugs panicked as they tried to put you to the car
You managed to elbowed Jason's stomach and the two guys loosens their grip on your legs and you shouted "Eddie!"
Eddie heard your voice as his expression from worry to a complete wrath as he can feel your horrified emotion
The door peeked through a little while keeps banging it and he can finally see what's going on outside
Eric didn't care to run over the side of the counter instead he jumps off over at the counter as he looks for Marlon in the storage room
Marlon furrowing his brows at the boy who try to catch up his breath
"What's the matter, boy?"
"Amanda, she's in danger"
Marlon eyes widened and he is so pissed off as he walks away from the storage room with Eric
Jeff and Gareth keep looking for the guards and they finally found them brutally beatened at the men's room as they frightened at the thought of your being, they're afraid of what might happen to you
"I'll call Hopper" Gareth says he picks up the phone
"I'll look for her outside" Jeff saids and Gareth nods at him
Jeff can't open the front door as he tried many times to open it but he doesn't stop as he tries harder and harder as it finally opened
You dodge at the two boys trying to knock you out and you kick them at their sensitive part so that they can't move to try and grab you again
you glare back at Jason
"You seriously have no idea who you're dealing with." You told him giving him a warning look
Jason winced at the pain that you did to his stomach "trying hard to get huh? you're just like any other bitches that I've met."
"Oh, you just met your worst nightmare." You stare at him intensely in the eyes and you reached down for the wood that is heavy enough and he loses his cool as he watch you
"Wait- woah- wait!" he stammers and you ignore his objections and you hit him right in the face that his own blood splatters everywhere loosing a tooth from his mouth
His friends we're alarmed by your actions as they try to move away from you
Jeff founds you and punches the other guy and keeps beating him repeatedly as the guy can't defend himself anymore and the other one rans away
You had enough, you want justice for what's happened to you, so you chase after him still holding the wood that you hit with Jason
You hit him in the legs and falls down in pain and you grab him by the collar "I hope this is a lesson to you that girls are not some toys that you would fuck around and belittle us afterwards- we are human beings for christ sakes!" You screamed at him in exasperation and you push him down on the ground as he grunts
Marlon, Eddie, Gareth and Eric are finally outside as they laid their eyes on the scenario
Eric's eyes flashes with shock as he couldn't believe that you handled yourself quite well as he is so petrified they might be too late but here you are- defended yourself
"Oh my god" Gareth says while putting his hand over his head
Eddie saw you shaking with such anger while still holding the wood and Jeff falls back down on the side while the guy he just beaten up struggling to breathe
Jason kept wailing in pain as he tries to stop the bleeding from his face
Marlon helped Jeff get up takes him over at the bench to sit down and grabs a first aid kit
Eddie walks up behind you and he called your name and you turn around to look at him still upset with horror in your eyes as you think he might be spooked of what you just did but instead he brings you into his arms and hugs you tightly
You dropped the wood on the ground and your body calms down and you melt and collapsed to his touch and you breakdown crying on his chest and you hugged him back
"I- I was so scared- Eddie." You hiccuped from your tears and that breaks his heart "Shh- I'm so worried about you- you just did what you had to do." he says while he rubs your back your hands
Eddie walks over to your side still hugging you and both of you walks towards at the others
"You got a lot of nerve to do such a thing, Jason!" Gareth exclaimed at him while Jason is still perplexed by his wound and the situation
"Jason?!" You halt your tracks of what you just heard "he's Jason?!" You point at him
All of them nod at you
you huffed and you lean down at Jason "If you try to hurt me again or any of my friends I wouldn't think twice of killing you instantly."
Jason couldn't even look at you straight in the eyes as his words caught up from his throat
The guys are intimidated by tone of your voice as they look at Eddie
He blinks and shrugs at them behind you and he is still very surprised what you're capable of
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Hopper arrived at the scene with 2 more police cars behind him and walks out of car and drops his cigarette on the ground
He stopped walking towards them as he saw everyone hurt and in pain
"What the hell happened here?!?"
Marlon walked over to Hopper and tried to explain everything
"Jason tried to kidnapped Amanda with his goons and maybe even-" he can't even bring himself to continue the last word
but Hopper already knows it just by looking at Marlon's eyes "Oh fuck no-" while he shakes his head
Eddie and his friends are worried they might put you in jail even though they know that you did the right thing and they can trust Hopper but still he wanted to make sure that you're innocent and a victim
Eddie called out to Hopper "Please- don't do anything to Amanda, she only made a self-defense to herself- this fucking prick started it." He points at Jason and he holds you even tightly afraid that he you might disappear from his side
Gareth, Jeff and Eric starts raving and begging that you only did what you had to do and they starts rambling uncontrollably
"Hold on- guys" Hopper raises his hand up signalling them the boys to stop talking and he looked at you in the eyes
He sees your eyes stricken with fear, regret and anger
He sighs "I can see that." he starts "and I believe you"
He looked at Jason with a pointed look as he shouted "if you don't stop with this bullshit, I will fucking lock you up forever, Carver, you should be ashamed of yourself!"
Your eyes filling up with tears as you say "Thank you" is the only thing you croaked out
Hopper nods at you and shows you a sad smile
"Thank you so much, Jim" Marlon says while he shakes his hand
Hopper walks over to where Jason is sitting still hisses at the pain "That's what you fucking get for disrespecting girls, young man."
You chuckled at his words while your tears coming down from you cheeks
Hopper is tired of putting back Jason on the police headquarters again and listening to his oblivious parents that keep saying that he's not doing anything wrong but he's gonna change that once and for all cause he's done enough damage to the town
The policemen grabbed the two beaten boys and cuffed their hands put them behind of the car and Hopper nods at them as he watch them drove away
You ran over to Jeff his hands were bruised from punching too hard on the guy
"Ugh" you exclaimed as you take a glimpse over to his wounded covered in blood knuckles
"Oh- god- I'm so sorry, Jeff you didn't have to do that."
Jeff chuckles slightly "I just wanted to help and I'm glad that I went on time."
You nod at him with a sympathetic smile
Marlon finished cleaning and disinfecting his hands and put a bandage over them
Marlon stands up and goes over to you with guilt coming out from his eyes "Amanda, it's my fault, I should've taken the boys advice earlier, I'm so sorry I didn't meant for this to happen, if only I followed what they told me to do this wouldn't happen.'
You look back up at him and you admire his consideration at the tone of his voice
Your eyes are filled with warmth and you hold his shoulder "Marlon, it's okay, don't ever blame yourself, I'm fine and all of us didn't know that this is going to happen, don't worry about it."
Marlon swallows thickly and he nods at you with a sad smile
"Uh- guys if it's okay with you I'm headed at the diner? I think I need a coffee." Gareth says as he removes himself against the wall
"Wait- I'm coming with you." You say as you pulled Eddie's hand with you and Jeff runs behind you
"Eric are you coming?" Jeff asks him
Eric still talking to Hopper and he looks at Jeff "yeah, I'll be there in a minute."
Eric tells Hopper that you're a new student at Hawkins High and it confuses him why he hasn't met you before but Eric further explains the reason why he told the same story that Gareth and Jeff already told him about you- being Steve's childhood bestfriend, you and your family moved away and then came back, you being a Jones- Hopper has no idea who you are except from your parents he is familiar with them- it's kinda odd for him that you're not as popular as the other rich kids it's not that it's bad it's different for him and that got his attention
Hopper saw your hands splattered in Jason's blood and judging by your behavior, he knows you're a upright person and for some reason you already gained his trust on you...
You guys walked inside the diner and your body is still trembling after what happened earlier, Eddie's arms goes over your shoulder as he tries to calm you down and you headed to sit down at the table
Eric enters the diner in about a minute since you guys arrived inside
Eddie sits down across from you and you sat down on the other side and he holds both of your hands and rubs his thumb on the back of your hand
Your heart still palpitates at the scenario earlier as your mind starts to replaying the scene over and over inside your head as you began to weep again
You remove your hands away from Eddie and you snuck yourself down putting your arms on the table and lean your head down on it...
Eddie panicked by your actions and lick his lips together as he tries to think to make you feel better- he watches you quavering in terror and sadness he can hear how hard you're breathing from crying....
He wants to do something but he is afraid to make you even more upset so he just sits there his eyes roams all over you in concern
Eric, Gareth and Jeff appears on the side of the table and they saw you
Eric felt unsettled as he laid his eyes on you
Jeff became even more worried to see you like this
Gareth "is she okay?" he whispers to Eddie
Eddie looks back at them and remembers you wanted to something so he quickly reaches down to his pocket fishing his wallet but Eric stops him "I'll get it- it's on me."
All of them walk away from the table as Eddie tried to follow them but you stop him by holding his hand
"Wait- Eddie don't- I've shouldn't act like that, I'm sorry, please- stay with me."
Eddie's eyes brimmed with tears as he sees your face distressed from the scenario
"I won't ever leave you alone, sweetheart."
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dearserenesoul · 1 month
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Adult friendship
People say once you reach certain age, it's hard to make a new friend, what more soul-level companionship.
No, it's not acquaintance. It's not that hard to do that. You just need to show lil bit interest in who they are & what they are doing, being kind and polite or even excited to see them, have a lil conversation everytime you unintentionally see them, tease them if you can get that kind of dynamic with them, then there you go: an acquaintance. Colleagues too.
A friend is someone who put intentional effort to keep in touch, to connect, to keep themselves updated about you, although you haven't become vulnerable to each other yet.
I made a friend. Few years younger. I will consider him a friend, though at first I just saw him as a junior. But since months ago when we first knew each other, he's been the one to put effort to stay in touch. And we've been in same classes and programmes many times, so yeah, why dont I upgrade him from a junior to a friend.
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This is the kind of random text he will send me out of the blue. At 5 am pulak tu lol so random. Maybe dia takut terlupa mimpi tu kot lol.
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I giggled reading this. I felt joy.
I'm not used to making friends with guys. Usually with current existing guy friends, it's really just something that happened naturally & I'm never the one who put effort to keep in touch. If I do, it's after years of friendship and I'm sure we both don't see each other beyond that, only then I'm comfortable to act like a friend like with my girls.
And I'm not used to have a guy friend putting effort into our friendship intentionally. So I really hope it's nothing beyond that bcs I appreciate this.
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I smiled reading this. So mushy this boy. You will make a good partner, yknow.
He is the eldest and have two younger siblings. His dad had passed away last year, if I'm not mistaken, or a bit earlier than that.
I want to believe that he's actually got it so hard. And I want to believe that he's being kind to people bcs he himself needs the same kindness & support. Losing a dad, being the eldest and a guy; I can only imagine the burden of feeling responsible as the first man of the family now that his dad is gone.
I dont know anything about his mother. I just overheard about his dad and siblings when he was talking to other people. I never talk to him directly about it myself.
The best I can do for him, I think, is just to recognize and acknowledge his kind acts and words on me and thank him everytime.
I'm still putting up boundaries and dont do much for him, since I dont want it to be something else like last time;
when I thought I had a guy bestie in someone & turned out he had feeling for me so I had to cut off contact for a while before we could resume to being friends again later.
But I remember feeling so guilty hurting a friend & I had done my best & my kindest to make him understand that he's just a friend. But I dont want to have to hurt anyone again. This kind of hurt is deep, I know.
And from the rumors I think he's a stable and good man.
I smiled ear to ear reading this. I was grieving hardly at this time. And just reading this, the fact that he dreamt about it, I hope it will turn to reality. Cuz if it's in my own dream, I would think it's just my wishful thinking and my deepest desire manifested in my sleep.
Thank you, dear friend.
May Allah ease everything for you for bringing moments of ease and joy into this grieving heart.
And all the ways you wanted to treat me kindly, I pray that you will find the best girl you could do it for, and I will find my own best partner that would do that for me too.
. . . . .
No matter how long of a friendship we have with someone, no matter how we used to have it so chilled because we were just kids with no life issues and life was still enjoyable and fun and nothing pressuring,
Now that we're old, the best way to navigate adult friendships is with utmost respect, kindness and politeness.
We're all having it hard now.
Just be respectful, kind and polite.
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Text
Silk & Cologne
Pairing: Miguel O'Hara x reader | warning: n/a | Fluff without plot | words: 0.8k | AO3 link 🩵
Summary:
Miguel doesn't know how he got so lucky.
It was luck. Pure, unfiltered luck. Miguel had utmost confidence it was luck because, otherwise, why did you say yes?
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Miguel doesn't know how he got so lucky.
Almost everything in his life went wrong, a train derailed. He doesn't even need to mention Gabriella to explain it– he lost what he held most dear to his heart and then tried so hard to not let this happen to anybody else that he forgot what being a hero means; the fiasco with Miles, Spot, Jefferson Morales... It made him feel worthless. Nothing but a wreck. Unbearably guilty.
And you were so patient.
It was luck. Pure, unfiltered luck. Miguel had utmost confidence that you wouldn't have said yes when he proposed if it wasn't for luck, because otherwise, why would you ever breath the same air as him?
But you were patient, telling him that wasn't luck, that you were exactly Miguel deserved after so many years suffering in a thankless job. That, after all he sacrificed, he at least deserved to be happy.
So patient when he would build walls between you both, dragging you in a push-and-pull relationship that lasted years of yearning.
Brick by brick, he would understand that he's only human, too, he makes mistakes. Desperately, he tried to explain that you deserved better.
LAYLA framed the face he made when you replied with a I don't want better, I want you.
I love you for all you are and is yet to be – love is not comfortable or uncomplicated. I love you. I love you. I love you.
Later she would tell you how far Miguel's heartbeat went from his baseline. Insane of you to bet on a losing horse; to trust what a person can be instead of what they are.
You had the quality of an immovable object he couldn't possibly compete against.
He wasn't easy. It would be unfair of Miguel to be unaware of how complicated and irritating he is. It took him a handful of years to work on his anger issues and workaholic tendencies, and sometimes he still falls back into micromanaging everything within reach.
You, on the other hand, is carefree in a way he can't quite grasp. A certain air to you that draws him back everytime he thinks he finally set himself free; weightlessness to your actions, making him, often, think that he's drowning on you.
Eventually, he lost the ability to push you away and could only pull. Couldn't even pretend he doesn't look at you with love glazed eyes, like he doesn't melt under you touch.
He yearns for your just like he needs water to survive. You resettled his brain in a way that, often times, his brain would go back to spanish, fawning over you past his conscious mind.
Now the very first thing he took note when entering your apartment is the smell. Your smell.
You're standing by the mirror, seemingly giving the finishing touches to your perfection, leaving him completely enticed.
You insist in going to the company's social gatherings in the name of keeping a good reputation, even when he forgets running the Society isn't his official job.
Miguel stands and watches you, staring just how well the dress fits your body. Give him one minute and he'll be glued to your back, hands over your shoulders and kneading your skin.
"Hey, muñeco¹," you start, fluttering your lashes to him through the mirror, all silk and expensive perfume. "You're early."
"I'm on time," Miguel says, gliding closer and not trying to pretend, not even for a second, that he isn't shoving his face in your hair and breathing you in. Softest guy you ever met, this one.
"Which means you're early," you say playfully, moving your head to one side to another, checking the make-up.
"Well?" He stops before you, an reverting look. "When did you want to leave, then?"
"Six?"
His expression is unwavering. "Isn't six too early?"
You scoff. "Six is late," you say, breathing in, indulgently. "Don't act like I don't know why you're so early, Miguel."
His name on your mouth makes him want to smooth away the space between you and him.
"Mhm." Miguel's eyes with a fairway look on them, a relentless on him that always pull him back to you. "Estás tan linda.²"
"You look handsome too," you answer without missing a beat, every syllable warming the air between you both. There's a warning there somewhere.
You're his fiancee. That's insane. He's insane. Is it? He yearns like a mad man. Why does love hurt?
Love has teeth, and it eats.
Miguel too.
You roll your eyes. "And you better not."
"I don't want to ruin your lipstick."
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Footnote:
² "You're so beautiful"
¹ Doll (masculine)
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hwiyoungies · 4 months
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Yes que si hablo español JAJAJAJA I just thought it would be weird to straight up start talking in spanish but I really needed to reference that meme (and here’s the moment where I’m unsure which language I should keep using WJDIEBD) y no me molestaría que me compartieras el video<3 bc I don’t mind shipping!! I’m not hardcore either but I love the dynamics too so it’s hard not to agree with a bunch of ships lol
NO ACTUALLY FAIR tbh I did skip some flashbacks back in the first season (see: Syrup Village) and if it’s dragging too much bc of that I do skip the flashbacks
Fr no one can convince me these guys don’t curse, I love they decided to show that side of them AND how it is unique for both of their personalities (see: Zoro saying ass and Sanji saying arse) but yes a documentary about the process would be *chef’s kiss*
NADIE SE MUERE JAJAJA I just finished the Alabasta arc (thank gOD) and I lowkey cried for Pell juST FOR HIM TO COME BACK??? I’m glad but wth they’re going to make me desensitized/skeptical with future ‘deaths’ atp bc most of them seem to come back anyways
Zoro literally just said “Sorry, but…I’ve never once prayed to God” and I was like “holy sh*t that’s hot” just for him to freaking scream like Tarzan while swinging on a vine minutes later LMAO and two things: 1) is this a good lose my mind or a bad lose my mind?? and may I know if it’s during the 100s?💀😭 2) I’ve seen people saying pre time skip a lot!! Is that like a canon event that just happens and we don’t see that ‘time skip’ (kinda like the blip for the avengers) or is it like a time travel thing or something?? If the answer is too much of a spoiler I’m fine without knowing it, just sounds confusing LOL
I have my fair share of songs that I didn’t think I listened to them that much so I get it 😂😂 my #81 song is Not Fine by Day6!!! which feels kinda fitting to me rn ngl JAJAJAJA
AJAJAJ the constant struggle of wait what language do i speak in now. i tend to always go with english because i'm aware of how Chilean i am and sometimes people don't understand what i'm saying, so whatever makes you feel more comfy <3 this is the video it's SO stupid but it made me cackle and i couldn't sent it to my friend that's watching it because she hasn't reached alabasta or ace yet
the one thing i will complain about one piece (well, one of the things LMAO) is the flashbacks like yeah i do love how fleshed out all the characters are but man keep it short and sweet
i LOVE that sanji is the only one with a different accent in english from the straw hats, like it makes so much sense for his background this is all i can say without spoiling anything (y weno en español también acento canario de taz mi amado)
NO BUT SAME i was fucking sobbing over pell and then they were like teehee actually he's not dead 😋 there is a reason for that tho i think it had to do with 9/11 no i'm not joking LMAO
SKYPIEA ZORO MY FUCKING BELOVEEEEEEED everytime he says that when someone is like "omg you're gonna make god mad!" i went a little insane because yEAH MAN TELL THEM, and him doing the tarzan scream he's just a little guy he's feeling goofy and silly and we love him for it. also!! are you watching it in japanese or dubbed? because luffy sings an iconic song during this arc that everyone loves LMAO. it's a uuuh it's a mix LMAO and it's in the 300's i think. the only thing i will say about the time skip is that it's a canon event and nothing more because it's more entertaining that way teehee
ooof man now that's a song LMAO it could've been zombie which i would ask all good dear is everything ok (obviously the answer would be no)
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corporatechaos · 8 months
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Just keep Swimming😉
Day 1 7th August, 2023
Hello, This is me! Probably this me is not in a great shape nowadays coz everything in my life is pretty fucked up. Everyone of you out there might not know me because of obvious reasons😏 I am hell of a normal person and not a celebrity, nor that I intend to become one someday. As Mia said in the Princess Diaries- My expectation in life is to be invisible and I am good at it. Weird enough but I feel the same😊
As goes for my introduction, I am like any other normal engineer working at a 9 to 5 corporate job and successfully keeping myself frustrated throughout the weekdays. The chaotic corporate life and the tension to meet deadlines are the only hashtags in my life right now.
I am a software developer by post but sarcastic enough I don't like to write the hundred lines of code which I don't understand neither do I find interest in finding bugs in other's code. But anyways since life must go on and as was said by Dory in Finding Nemo - Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming, swimming, swimming! (Recently got reminded of the above from 'It Ends with Us')
Hence, am swimming in the sea of corporate people and waiting for my time to turn the tables atop.
I know right, some people can really give you complex through their work and you start all the more hating yourself. At the age of just 25 someone is the CEO, some a millionaire, someone is a great influencer on social media with millions of followers in their handles and here comes me, still trying to figure out how to drive my life. It's like I bought a new car (aka new career choice) and finding new lanes (aka new hobbies and interests) to reach the destination (aka to be a happy and satisfied), but in the end I come crashing down everytime when I try bending on to the bylanes required to reach my destination.
But even that is fine. Afterall, recently I was inspired from The Alchemist and every failures are to be counted as a step to success in disguise. Did the shepherd boy know that even after losing all his possessions and being in an entirely unknown region where no one seemed to speak the same language, he would be able to achieve his dream to go up till Egypt and discover the treasure on returning. As was narrated by the crystal merchant in The Alchemist (by Paulo Coelho) - 'Maktub' which means it's all written.
Well, well well! This seems a pretty lengthy description of my current situation and am happily gliding over or should I say trying hard to ski in the snow. I am sure will learn it on the go someday !
So, I decided to start writing and keep my daily thoughts in a confined place which I can deep dive on anytime.
Today as you can see was a overthought day full of digesting philosophical thoughts and promising on building new habits and resolutions. Took a leave today, to contemplate about my life and that felt pretty amazing. You should definitely try talking to yourself more often, half of the problems get solved down the line. Good job R ! 😎
Went up to College Street today evening to buy some new books (both stories and studies). Those of you who are unaware of College Street - it's a vintage street in Kolkata full of book shops with books from all around the globe, you name the book, they will present it in front of you like a genie. Everytime I get to College Street, it's like you are diving in a sea of education with plethora of books and enthusiasts all around you. Feels good though, well spent evening !
Recently am hooked to the book 'It Ends with Us' by Colleen Hoover and I hope to finish the book as soon as I can as I can't hold on the ecstasy of starting with my new purchases.
I know quite a lengthy one, but it's my first blog you guys. It's quite a delirious fact for me 😋
Let's see what tomorrow brings for me. Until then....
Signing Off !
R💕
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cocacola-cowboy · 1 year
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Tell us about Fiona 👀
Bro where do I even start I can ramble for hours about her
She's in Varisty Choir, and the Theater program, and Varsity Wrestling, and all the wrestling guys hate her because she makes them look bad while looking flawless, she has resting bitch face but if you ever speak with her just once you'd know she's really nice and pretty friendly even to people she doesn't know, ik most people call her little miss perfect when she's not around but she's really not a bitch and she's not perfect she just carries herself in a way that while yeah she can do a shit ton of things and at the same time she is definitely just winging half the things she's doing.
I think one of the first times she really like got my attention and impressed me was at our Choir Banquet, Footloose came on and no one but Fiona knew the dance, and so she danced alone on the dance floor and I've never liked watching people dance but with Fiona I think I was just starstruck at that point and instantly needed to know more.
Every time someone has something they think is really hard thing to do or that they can't do, especially if it's choir related it's pretty common for people to think "Fiona could probably do it just fine".
I've really never met a girl like Fiona, like ever, she's somehow the perfect balance of little miss perfect and that girl who always loses her pen before class.
My choir prof lets me chill in the practice room during my break between classes and everytime without fail I will catch Fiona staring at me at least three times. Everytime Fiona stares at me I get beyond nervous and I stutter and blush and forget how to act like a normal human and it drives me insane because her rbf makes it look like she's plotting my murder but her personality says otherwise so no one can ever tell. Fiona mastered the art of turning me into a mess with just one look and there is no way she doesn't know she can by now.
Fiona is this confusing, loud, sometimes a little scary but really pretty, wonderful, complex mess. And I'm not sure if I'll ever get a chance to understand her more than that but I hope I can if only for a short time.
I want to know everything but at the same time I'm okay with not knowing much, if that makes sense
Whoever ends up dating and/or marrying Fiona is one lucky person and I hope they know just how lucky they are and appreciate Fiona for the enigma she is
She's an enigma and I'm a complete simp for her but she's so worth it
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unwantedthoughts17 · 1 year
Text
I have had a hard day today. I miss the touch, I miss the smell, the feel, the security, the contentness, the face, even when I used to look unltoced at the smile the relaxes facial expression, the eyes, the mouth and would always think how beautiful it was. walking away to the bathroom I would always look and appreciate. Everytime there is a goodbye I would watch until I could not see out of appreciation because I always wanted to hold the moment as long as I could. I look back a week and a half ago I was so happy everything and everyone was so happy it was peak perfect. I was content and secure in the smallest things. Sat at home doing my own thing. Everyone doing their own thing but there was a warm cosy loving feel everywhere just knowing it was how it was it was the warmest I have ever felt at home. The love I experienced was the most powerful I have ever by miles. I was always truthful and tried to express how much that meant to me always even when I was supporting and understanding things weren't going to be the same for a while I felt it and meant it. And now I miss it. I feel like I Mays of well lost my life because all that is gone and I can't do anything right now at all to get it back and it's ripped me apart. Each day is painful for many reasons but this hits hardest. There's many things I can be down and upset and angry and frustrated about but this is the worst pain for me. How can someone's life change so instantly from one extreme to the other. It is simply not a replaceable thing. Many things are confusing me and frustrating me but I just know one thing I want and I need that back in my life and if I can't have it soon I am going to crumble I feel like I have lost my life and commincation with the world by losing this. Nothing else matters. I don't know what to do I am a lost soul that doesn't know how to find its way home. Nothing makes sense how I am here. It's like a bad movie script where the good guy ends up in terrible trouble where you watch it and think ' imagine being him/her in that scenario ' it's pure shock. I just know I need all the help and reasurance I can get through this and hope it ends soon because I don't know how long I can do this and I can't break otherwise I will end up in a much much worse place which I can't risk not jsit for me but for many others. I miss looking I miss seeing I don't get to have that priviledge anymore and I miss it as it was a daily thing seeing the beauty. I miss the warmth. I can't even ask for help how I need it, everything is a risk these days and I'm scared I don't want to do the wrong thing and ruin it for everyone and myself. I would give everything for one normal day and night. Please wake me up from this hell I don't deserve it
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wildcatofgreen · 1 year
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I mean, there is nothing wrong with loving your Friends. Sure, the conflict is rather harsh, but have you ever talked with anyone about it? Sony doesn't seem like the kind of guy who would get angry at you about it. Seems like a rather chill guy. I am sure he would understand. After all, she was your closest friend for a long time. Kind of hard to imagine anyone would fault you for wanting to be close to your friends, however that may be.
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"Yeah, but, grayface--the kinda shit I was doin' back then was... "That shit wasn't good, okay? Have my cake and eat it too type'a shit. And it don't help none that some of those feelin's are lingerin'. I'm gettin' fuckin' married, damn it--do you think it's okay for a bride to be 'ta feel this way? 'Ta have ever felt this way?
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"I mean for beat's fuckin' sake I love her!!!"
The hedgehog shifted in his sleep.
Right. Quiet, Carol. Don't wake him up.
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"Loved," she clarified, voice turned to a whisper, "I loved her. Can't state enough how much I know I've gotten over her." She grabs at the diamond guitar pick around her neck, grimacing. "But then these fuckin' thoughts come back in my head an' I, I, I just don't know what to do, dude. What the fuck is wrong with me. I've been okay for the past couple years, my feelin's were dyin' down, I fuckin' know they were. I fuckin' know they were. "Why the fuck is a stupid hug gettin' me all messed up? Why the fuck has Lilac been gone so long? Why the fuck do I get the fuckin' jitters when I think about telling her about the engagement???
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"I'm... "I'm scared, man. I'm scared that my dumb fuckin' feelin's are gonna lose me the best thing that's ever happened to me. I still love my Sony to death and, I wouldn't trade 'em for the world and, and, if he found out...
"But... But he already knows, right? He's bein' nice about it--he's waitin' for me to say somethin'. He's gotta forgive me immediately and just tell me not to do it again. He already knows, he already knows, y'know?
"Or... Or he's keepin' it locked. Gonna use it when I least expect it, gonna put me under the rug when we're havin' a fight or somethin' and, an', I...
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"Damn it, Carol. Snap out of it--Sony's not malicious. He'd never do that. He'd wanna sit me down and tell me how hurt he was if he knew an' was waitin' for me. H-He'd be chill about it, but he'd never wanna hurt me with it.
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"He must know how hard it is 'ta control emotions, right? He'd be sympathetic. He'd like, help me through it, like he always does. Like he always does! Y'know? Like, like, he's a good guy. He cares about me. An', and I still love 'em. I couldn't not love 'em. It's just... I'm dealin' with some shit, y'know? Who doesn't deal with shit!!! Like, like, everyone's got somethin', right? I bet Sony's done the same thing before. I bet he'd understand! Totally. That's why he hasn't said anythin'--he's waitin' on me so we can bond over it. That's why. Obviously."
. . .
She sighed, breath clouding the gemerald's hue.
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"None'a that changes how I feel, though. And foxtrottin' hotel, I really wish it did. "I don't want to do the things I wanna do. I don't wanna feel her lips on mine. I don't want her 'ta hold me like she used to. I already got that with Sony. He makes sparks fly in my chest everytime he holds me, everytime he kisses me, everytime he compliments me. It makes me feel like the most special girl in the world. "Is this some sort'a fuckin' regret? Some sort'a stupid bullshit because I ain't ever do it in the first place?
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"But then why is it happening now??? Spirits fucking damn it THIS IS ALL SO--"
He would mutter in his sleep, "Carol..."
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. . . !
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"I really need 'ta get my shit together, don't I?
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"An', to answer your question, grey--no, I haven't. Iun't wanna tell Sonar--not yet at least. I just...
"Fuck, damn it.
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"Maybe I'll talk'ta Cory soon. Maybe she'll know what to do."
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cat-26 · 4 years
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The more I watch other POVs of MCM, the more I'm glad it's over and we got MCC instead. The ambiance was so toxic.
I'm watching other POVs and it's crazy how many were soo salty about Techno winning, and actually happy when Techno was nerfed or lost or whatever.
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