#and i thought she was done modeling and she wasnt and i came off as rude :((((((

[daniyanii]

YANDERE KILLMONGER:

‘Slow Death’- Synopsis

It was just a one time fling and he’ll get over it soon, right? That’s what you kept telling yourself as you ignore his constant calls and texts

You were mad at yourself for indulging in a hookup that at the time, you were so proud of.

You’d tried the relationship route before but it never went well for you. After the humiliating breakup with your ex last year you’d decided to give yourself some time alone.

And stupidly you decided on the weekend that you were ready to have sex. Not a relationship, not casual sex, and not fuck buddies. Just a one and done to clear your stress until the urge built over again.

𝓯𝓵𝓪𝓼𝓱𝓫𝓪𝓬𝓴

You felt good, like really good. You were dressed from head to toe in all new clothing with the perfect glam makeup look. For once you were happy to go out with your friends and they didn’t have to drag you out to come along.

You knew tonight was the night you were going home with a stranger. Was it smart? No. Were you gonna do it anyways? Yes.

The last thing you remembered before meeting your man of the night was getting in the car to leave. It was like the whole night was a blur before him.

But god you couldn’t forget they way he licked over his plump lips while making eye contact with you. You only held his gaze for a second before looking away.

He was simply too attractive. It seemed laughable for a woman like you to even breathe in his direction. And although you felt amazing tonight you just knew it wasnt going to happen with him.

So before you could convince yourself to look again you walked to the bar and your friends followed. When you sat down you noticed the man sitting two seats from you got up to sit right next to you.

He was definitely more attainable. He wasn’t ugly by a long shot but he was nowhere near the man that you just saw. It didn’t matter though, he didn’t need to be a model, just a good lay.

As you talked to the man you felt yourself really loosen up. He was funny and quick with his words. Just when you thought you were going to take it to the next step he looked at his phone with his eyes widened.

“I-Im sorry to cut you off but I have to go. My uh wife needs me.” He said in a panicked almost scared voice

“Wife? I see, go ahead.”

“Y/n im really sorry I just-“

“It’s fine I swear. You owe me nothing, now go help your wife!” you laughed to hide your disappointment

Guess you weren’t getting laid tonight afterall.

Just as you were about to turn to your friends to tell them you’re leaving another man sat next to you.

And of fucking course it’s that fine ass man.

“Hey there.” he spoke with his deep, smooth voice

“H-Hi.” all of a sudden you didn’t feel so confident anymore. you were convinced he was making fun of you in his head

“What’s a pretty lady like you doing here alone?” He responded with a smirk

“I-Uh I didn’t come alone. I came with my friends.”

“Ok lemme rephrase that. What are you doing here without your man?” He knew you didn’t have a man but he wanted you to confirm it

“I don’t have one. I’m enjoying the single life to the fullest.”

“Ok ok, so does that mean you wouldn’t mind coming over?” His dark gaze told you exactly what he meant

“Hmmm, I don’t know. What typa plans do you have?” You tried to keep it sexy yet do slow teasing but his next words threw all that out the window

“Im tryna eat you out on every surface in my house.” you couldn’t believe he said that with no shame

You were surprised because he seemed like one of those guys who knew he was hot so he just fucked women for his pleasure, and his pleasure only. You figured he’d fuck you hard for 10 minutes maybe and then kick you out. It would make this a lot easier since you weren’t used to one night stands. If he beat it up like an animal and threw her to the side she wouldn’t make feelings for him.

But of course he just had to a take your soul. He meant when he said he wanted to eat you on everything in his house, because he did. The table, the couch, the wall, the coffee table, the floor and thats not even counting his bedroom.

When he was done he left you an overstimulated, tear stained mess. Your pussy throbbed so much you could barely move but you wanted to return the favor.

But Erik simply said no. He didn’t want you to touch him, he kept saying this time it was all about you. You didn’t have the courage to tell his this is the only time

When you stood up and started walking (limping really) out the room to find your clothes. Within seconds he spun you around to face him

“Where you goin baby?” He asked with furrowed brows as he intertwined your hands

“This was amazing but I gotta get going. I have wo-.”

You didn’t miss the sharp glare Erik sent directly at you. It was like he knew you were lying…

“Just stay till the morning. I’ll drop you off and everything. Kay baby?” He started kissing down your neck to convince you

“Okay” you agreed because you knew you were just gonna leave once you knew he was sleep

He carried you back to the bed with a chuckle since your legs were still wobbly. When he laid down rather than pulling you into his chest, he pulled you to lay directly on top of him. You were completely smushed into his scar covered chest, especially with his big ass hand resting on the back of your head, stroking your hair.

It felt nice…too nice. She thought it was gonna be a fuck and run with no passion. But here she was cuddling the man who just made her pass out from cumming less than 30 minutes ago. Not only were they cuddling but he was so loving with his touches. The switching from rubbing her back to her hair, the occasional kiss on the forehead. He was holding her like you would a lover.

“You’re so beautiful. I can’t wait for our future baby. Wanna give you everything and more.” he murmured into you hair

You didn’t respond because you knew there was no future. It felt wrong that you hadn’t yet told him your intentions but it was also wrong he assumed you wanted to be with him. You prayed he just though you were sleep

“Baby? Did you hear me?” He asked pulling back to see you were very much awake

“Um, yeah I did.” you said timidly, hoping that this conversation would end soon

“Why you aint say nothin?” He looked directly in your eyes, awaiting your response.

“I- This is just a one night stand. I’m not really looking to date right now. I’m sorry.” you dropped eye contact the second you started talking

You expected him to violently shove you off, or ask you to leave. But to your surprise he chuckled and hugged you closer.

“Yeah ok baby we’ll see about that.”

𝓯𝓵𝓪𝓼𝓱𝓫𝓪𝓬𝓴 𝓸𝓿𝓮𝓻

That morning you snuck out his apartment as stealthily as you could. It took you about 15 minutes to get off the bed and another 5 to actually leave.

Around halfway through your walk back to the bar to get your car, your phone started blowing up with messages and calls.

[phone]: Baby where are you??

[phone]: Why did you leave? Did I say something wrong?

[phone]: Look ik you said you didn’t wanna be serious but please just think about it

[phone]: My neighbor said she didn’t see a car come pick you up, and that you started walking back toward the bar

[phone]: I’m coming to get you, just stay there.

You realized by the time you got to the bar he’d be waiting for you. So you did what any scared woman would do, you ran.

You ran all the way home and locked your door tight behind you.

#yandere #marvel #black reader #erik kilmonger x reader #erik killmonger #yandere marvel #yandere x black reader #yandere erik killmonger #erik killmonger x black reader #micheal b jordan #micheal b jordoan fanfiction #yandere micheal b jordan #series #black author

[yearningandpatheticaboutit]

SPEAK FOR YOURSELF

CHAPTER 7: WHAT ARE YOU SO AFRAID OF?

warnings: flashback, death mention, drugs mention, idk anymore let me know if you think i should add more

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word count: 4442

A/N: Sorry for the long wait guys i just started my 2nd semester of uni and life has been ROUGH but aye here's the new chapter :D

***

Yaera

scratchy skin. i run my nails over it till brown becomes red and im bleeding all over my pyjammas. it doesn't hurt. not as much as i do.

surrounded by darkness, bawling my eyes out in silence. it feels like im paralysed, like i can't breathe. like its a chore to be alive.

"yaera?" a soft voice calls me. i know its not her. my heart wishes it was.

my mind tricks me. i feel her get onto my bed and put her warm hands over my open wound. it feels like a bandage, like im being healed but i know its not real.

it isnt real.

the soft pale light turns on beside my bed and i see her face. her deep brown doe eyes gentle with sadness. my sobs choke in my throat, threatening to go louder. i cant.

"im here, don't worry," she tells me and rubs my face. "he wont hurt you anymore."

"why'd it have to be you?" i ask her. "i wish it was me instead."

she frowns how i imagine she would if she were here. "dont say that. youre making me feel guilty."

"i cant do this, yasmine. i cant. no one here is you. they dont know me the way you do. i dont know if i can go on anymore."

"you have to," she sadly smiles. "im still here."

but she wasnt. and it was hard to accept that.

there are people in this world who you can show your worst self, your best self, and the your most vulnerable self. the self that cries when feeling any kind of emotion. the kind who feels overwhelmed all the time.

yasmine was my person. shes gone now.

but my brain wont let me forget it. it wont let me forget anything.

"what the heck, whats wrong?" she asked when she found me sobbing into my knees under my window pane. she bent down next to me, immediately pulling my head onto her shoulder.

she wouldnt get it. i couldnt explain it. the way he kept making me feel powerless in a house full of people. so alone. so afraid. the touches started off like nothing, a fleeting thought, it was easy to brush off.

not anymore.

"c'mon, yae. you can tell me. was jongho mean to you again?" she asked innocently. cluelessly. "i will speak to him for real this time. he always thinks being mean as a joke is cute but–"

i wanted to tell her. maybe i should have. i told her everything. why couldnt i tell her? she was all i had. i should have told her.

"Mr and Mrs Marino. We need you to come in to the police station. A body was found–"

***

San

Y: I can't make it for lunch today, sorry. I'll just come by to let you know the news.

I adjust my glasses as I eye the message and the time on my screen. I can barely read it because of the cracks but end up getting the gist of it.

I sigh and close my chemistry notes. I guess she's done with her shoot then. Woo is passed out on my bed, for some reason the asshole decided to stay here.

What am I going to do with him here? I guess I'll have to talk to her outside. It doesn't sound like she'll stay long anyway.

At four thirty in the afternoon Yaera knocks on my door. I make sure to squeeze through the gap when I open the door, closing it behind me quickly so she doesn't see inside.

She gives me a suspicious look but doesn't say anything. She looks different. Maybe its the dark red curls that are spilling down her back that look so out of place compared to the thick hoodie and pants she's wearing.

"Hey," she greets, sounding off. "I won't be sleeping over, don't worry. I just came to say today went well."

Went well? It sounds like she'd rather be anywhere but here.

"I gave the pills out to three of my model friends. If all goes well, they'll want more by this weekend. I told them to give me a call."

"What if this doesn't work?" I ask skeptically. After all, models doing drugs so freely can't be a good thing.

"It will," she assures me, too sure. "And if it doesn't, I always have a back up plan."

She always has everything so figured out, doesn't she? I can't help but be wary of her. There's something about people like Yaera. People who act so calm and nonchalant about doing and going through problematic things. They're usually ticking time bombs on the inside.

"I want to talk about money," she says suddenly. "I know I said twenty percent but I need thirty."

I widen my eyes. No way she's asking for that much. "Thirty? What?"

She narrows her eyes, completely on edge. "What? Do you have a problem with that?"

"I'm just trying to figure out where this is coming from. What makes you think you're entitled to 30%? I know you gave me all your savings but—"

"Fine!" She bursts out, making me drop silent. "Do you want more then? I can get you more money. I can pay off how much you owe, how much that Yunho guy owes–it doesn't fucking matter to me. I just need to leave here. I need to get the fuck out."

Something happened. Her voice tells me all. Its full of anger, desperation and frustration. She's looking at me like she wants to kill me but at the same time her eyes are glossy.

I might be an anti-social loser but I can tell when someone's about to cry.

"Can you fucking answer me?" She tightly asks.

"Did your parents say something to you? Is that why you're so out of it?" I ask warily. Wrong move, San. Completely dumb fucking move.

She laughs, its a bitter, miserable laugh that leaves me more confused. Its the exact same one from before, when she figured out I knew about her dead sister.

"Don't ask me stupid questions like you're my therapist or something," she snaps at me. "And I am not out of it. You're just refusing to be straight up with me."

"You're not out of it? Then why are you acting defensive?" I snap back. "Be honest with me on why I should give you more money. Its so obvious this is more than getting away from your family. You're running from something."

My temper is at bay because I can clearly tell something's wrong, but I know she's dodging me. Her eyes start tearing and it immediately makes me feel terrible but I can't help it. She's not being honest.

"I'll help you, Yaera. Just be honest with me. What are you so afraid of?"

"Fuck you!" She shouts through her sobs, shoving me in the chest. "Fuck you, Choi San. Why the fuck should I explain myself to you when I don't even know why you're selling drugs or in a gang? Huh? Why the fuck should I be honest? Go to Hell."

Anyone who sees us will assume we're going through an awful break up. Yaera's entire face is red and drenched with tears and I'm standing without a clue of what's going on or what to do. She gives me a sarcastic look when I fail to answer her.

She sniffles, trying to collect herself as she shakes her head. "That's what I thought. Fuck this."

Yaera leaves down the hall and doesn't look back at me once, and I'm not sure what it means at all. All I know is something is wrong. Is it the memories of her sister? Her parents? I don't know.

I try not to think about it for the rest of the day, but fail miserably.

***

Yaera

For the rest of the weekend, San tries to reach me. I'm an asshole, I watch as his messages come and go, each one getting deleted after each other. I don't think he's tech savvy enough to know I can still see the receipt after they're deleted.

A small part of me is happy, even a little girlish to think that San, in our hot and cold dynamic, has decided to pull the rope and chase me. The more sane, rational part of me is embarrassed.

So, so embarrassed.

The sickening feeling doesn't leave me all weekend. It grows with every day that passes, because I know I've made San confused and feel like shit. He doesn't know why I freaked out, why I ignored him and I don't know if I'll ever be able to get the words out.

I'm too fucking scared.

The thought of it alone leaves me feeling cold and isolated from everyone else, knowing no one around would understand, or care. The awful fear of feeling like a cornered animal, so unprotected, so lost and wanting to rip off my own skin because it feels tainted.

How do I say that to a guy I'm blackmailing for money? Someone who has a horde of problems of his own. My brain has been feeding me awful scenarios all weekend. Its part of the reason I can't face San.

With every day that passes, Saturday grows closer. My parents are running around organizing fits and lifts for the gala, where their collection will be showcased before it hits the market. I'm nauseous knowing that I won't be able to get out of it. Why?

1. Because I gave San my word I would sell his drugs.

2. Because I'm being shown off at this stupid event.

3. Because Santo will be there, waiting.

I thought of lying about contracting a virus. I even hoped San would message me Sunday night saying there would be more thugs to deal with. I hoped that we'd go out and that I'd get stabbed, end up in the hospital and have to miss that gala entirely.

I try coming up with solutions to dull the utter sense of panic in my bones. Most people don't know how far I'll go to escape my fears. I'm very good at being a coward.

My brain tells me, maybe if I don't show up enough, just maybe Santo will drop me and my parents will disown me. Maybe if I cling to my father all night, Santo won't get the chance to corner me. But knowing my family, they'll have no problem throwing me to the wolves.

When Monday rolls around, I'm in the parking lot against a wall waiting for San to come but he never does. No one comes by, the parking lot is empty that morning and I am all alone.

I look at San's chat on my phone and feel like sobbing. I'm so pathetic really. I don't know why I'm such a loser. Why am I so emotional all of a sudden about apologizing. Its not like we're dating. 

I'm so embarrassed by all I said that I texted him good luck on his test today and he read it with no reply. Karma, I think. I ignored him all weekend and he's just returning the favour.

This is ruining my life. I shouldn't care, right? All I should care about is my money and running away. I shouldn't care about fixing things with a guy I barely know.

What if Santo leaves me alone because I'm with San?

That thought is dangerous. Not only that, it bothers me all morning because of its openness. There's only two ways he can react.

Santo can back off when he realizes I'm with someone my own age and not interested in getting groomed OR he can get super possessive and probably get San thrown in jail for some obscure and non real reason.

But the chance he could leave me alone forever is enough for me to hang onto hope. I'm on my way to biology with this hope in my heart, hoping I'll see San and he won't look at me like I'm some ugly bug.

Unfortunately when I get to biology, Mrs Evans gives me a tight smile. "Miss Marino, how delighted to actually have you in class today."

I completely forgot about her. And it seems like she's aware I skipped her period last week. "Uh, good morning ma'am," I greet awkwardly.

Quick. Think of a good lie.

"You know Miss Ella is back in school, right? I'm sure you don't want to see her so soon again," she says to me, vaguely threatening as she eyes my hair. "I should send you there for your unnatural hair colour, but I'll let it slide if you tell me you've made the effort to get a tutor."

"I..."

I sigh. Another thing I completely forgot about. I need to care about school if I want to graduate, but my life is so shit right now its taking everything out of me to not shower with a toaster.

"Mrs Evans?" A voice speaks. I feel my stomach flutter. I look behind me and San is standing there.

He's looking right at me with that unreadable, dark and mellow expression on his handsome yet cold face. He looks so pretty with his long hair and glasses, but my admiration hits an abrupt block when he looks away suddenly, no warmth present on his face.

"Yes, San?" Mrs Evans voice automatically softens. He must have that effect on everyone.

"Yaera and I came to an agreement. I will tutor her."

I can't think straight. What is he doing? I can never tell what he's thinking.

"Oh," even Mrs Evans is surprised. "Uh well, I'm happy you changed your mind. Hopefully Yaera can actually listen to you."

I sit through class without a single coherent thought in my brain. I sneak looks at San, thinking of what to say to him once we get time alone. I should apologize for losing it. I was weak, I nearly crumbled infront of him.

It can't happen again. It just can't.

So when class ends, I plan to go after him. San leaves first, showing no signs of waiting for me. He goes to the abandoned stairwell as per usual, and I'm about to make my presence known but stop when I hear his pissed off tone.

"Woo, I fucking told you don't call me at school, you asshole," San turns into Count Dracula and hisses into the speaker. "No you don't get it, you dropped out, I didn't."

"I told you I have a test today!"

"No, I'll be writing it during school hours. You don't have to pick me up from school, I'll meet you at my apartment."

His voice significantly quiets down, and by now I know he's not talking to a relative. At least not his close family.

Actually, San doesn't strike me as the type to talk to any member of his family like that at all. Which means this is obviously 105ths related.

"No, Woo, don't bring a fucking gun do you want those people to kill us?!" San groans as softly as he can.

So San is definetely going somewhere after school today. Which means I'm going somewhere. Great.

"I'm telling you it's a bad idea! We just need to knock out that asshole and go. Do you want this shit to turn into a shootout? Get real."

San hangs up and roughly tosses his bag to the ground, I hear the harsh landing from around the wall. I decide to wait a few minutes before building up the courage to show myself.

His handsome yet scowling face drops when he sees me, his expression awkward and taken aback.

"Hey," I break the ice. "I just wanted to say thanks."

"For?" He sounds genuinely clueless. Is his memory that bad?

"For covering for me. In Bio."

"I wasn't covering. I figured I could use the extra credit," he says, slightly cold. "So just say when you're available and I'll bring my books."

I'm dumbstruck. San is actually going to tutor me. If I'm already struggling to focus I wonder how hard I'm going to fight now.

"Oh, okay," I say dumbly. I can barely meet his eyes after Saturday. I hear my own cracking voice screaming at him between tears and it makes me cringe.

"I'm sorry," I say with difficulty. "For what happened on Saturday...it was uncalled for. I wasn't myself. So yeah, sorry."

San is quiet, looking at me like he's reading a book he doesn't understand.

He nods. "Okay. Can you explain what happened?"

I blink dumbly. "What?"

"Tell me why you freaked out and showed up to my place on edge. What happened at that shoot?"

My skin heats up and I feel like scratching. I struggle to hold his gaze and its embarrassing. He wasnt supposed to question me. Hes not following the script I wrote up in my head.

"I..."

"I can still give you the money," he tells me. "If you really need thirty percent, I'll give it to you. It cuts our deal shorter. You'll be able to get your money faster and this partnership won't have to last all year. But just tell me why."

I'm vaguely annoyed that I'm being pushed and still Ive received nothing. I know I barely know San for a week, but why am I the only one having to be honest here?

Crumbs, my brain suggests. I should give him crumbs, then he wont bother next time.

"I had a bad day," I admit with difficulty. Fucking understatement. "My parents and...everything. It was overwhelming for me. My sister used to do this, and she was a natural. And now that I do it...it feels like I'm being forced to take her place."

"Is that all?" San asks suspiciously, as if he knows I'm holding something back. Fuck, hes so smart I hate him.

Time to make him regret asking at all.

"I had a panic attack," I continue. "Lots of people dont know this, but my parents are awful people. They made my sister do inappropriate shoots when she was just a kid. Then when she died they did the same thing to me. Lingerie, fucking weird ass outfits that didnt belong on the body of a sixteen year old girl.

"It was never a problem back then because all the shoots are published now. All the pictures my parents post of me are two years old. They still make me do weird shit, but I'm not a minor now, so its okay, I guess. I know it doesnt sound like a big deal, but I really hate being forced to show my body and its just...very...it makes me..."

I dont finish because I find myself getting genuinely upset. I take a deep breath and look at the ground, swallowing hard. This fucking sucks, San is pitying me in his head, I can feel it.

"You didnt deserve that," he says quietly. "You should be running then."

He doesnt know the half of it. But a part of me is happy Im hearing those words. And from a man who appears like he cares about nothing. Maybe hes not that bad.

"Thanks for understanding. Can we talk about you now?"

San nods. This is weird. We're being civil.

"What happened after you visited your boss? What did she say?"

"Uh...mmmm."

San shrugs and crosses his arms. "Uh, she didnt say much. We dont have to worry about it. Its out of my hands."

"What?" I frown. It didnt sound like that on the phone at all. "So she really let you off?"

San nods with his lips in a firm line. This bastard is lying to me.

Really? After everything? I hide my volatile feelings with a soft hum.

"That's crazy. How are they letting you off so easily for losing 7k and yet they made you eat a cigarette for not delivering 10?" I question.

San shrugs again, not doing a good job at covering for himself. But why is he lying. After our last conversation I thought he'd know better.

"I guess Yunho is taken care of then. I can't say for sure."

"Do you have plans tonight then?" I test. "I think we should have a tutoring session at your place."

San grimaces. Go ahead, asshole. Lie through your teeth.

"I can't actually. I have to go somewhere. It's not gang related."

"Oh really? Is it family related then?"

"I don't have to tell you that," San shoots me down ungracefully, if I was shocked I would gasp.

I just told him why I need more money, and he responds like this. I want to laugh so hard. He's such a hypocrite.

"That came out the wrong way," he sighs when he sees my face. "Yes, it is family related. I have to do something with my cousin, that's all. I can come by tomorrow though."

I force a smile. "No, don't worry about it. Good luck with your family."

I walk away to hide my fuming. San has chosen to lie to me, its evident. He's going to help his 'cousin' who suspiciously has a gun. He must think I'm a fucking moron.

I wonder what his rationale is this time. Either way, it's going to piss me off. Shit, I'm already pissed. Because clearly he doesn't respect or take me seriously. It's like everytime I think I'm breaking through a layer with him, he brings up a worse, even more piece of shit layer.

And he's unashamed about it either. I just know when I confront him about lying, he'll be the most angry person. But I don't care, I'll be ready then. I didn't give him my fucking savings just for him to leave me out of the loop and toss me aside with a shitty lie.

When lunch rolls around, I'm on my way to the stairwell when I'm nearly knocked over by the horde of soccer players just forcing themselves through the halls. They have to move like a herd for some reason and trample everyone in their path. I'm forced against the lockers on the floor, my eyes widening when I spot  a brand new pair of expensive Nike soccer boots on one of our star players.

I smile to myself, watching his blonde head of hair disappear around the hallway. I bet those shoes must have costed a fortune. It probably sells well too.

My temptations are halted for the time being. I do need money, month end is two weeks away and San isn't showing signs of being a very cooperative partner. If he's hiding things from me, I might as well hold onto my methods of self-preservation.

***

The day ends and I see San sneaking through the parking lot this time. He doesn't know I'm watching him, but he definitely knows he's being watched. The paranoid asshole tosses suspicious glances over his shoulder every five seconds as he leaves the driveway.

My parents pick me up as usual, though this time my father is a lone ranger. We barely talk as expected, he asks me what I did in school, I tell him "the usual" and we move on with The Beatles blasting in the car.

"Where's mom?" I ask when we get home, noting the very peaceful silence is something out of the ordinary.

"Your mother is at one of the boutiques doing checks and balances," my father blandly responds, walking up the stairs. "I'm going to take a nap. There are bread rolls in the fridge."

I smirk to myself,  that means I don't even have to lie. My opening is wide enough. I immediately go up to my room and slide out of my school uniform, putting on rather... inconspicuous clothes.

A black hoodie and navy sweatpants with shoes fit to run in. I'm thinking of a weapon to carry with me, but all I have is a tiny pocket knife. Hopefully I don't have to use it.

I check my phone and roll my eyes when I see his name in my notification bar.

Sannie~: Sorry, I only saw this message now. Thanks 

You... asshole. You know I can see when I'm being left on read, right? I almost want to say it but I take a deep breath. You are not crazy. Don't act crazy. It doesn't matter if he's only responding to my good luck message only now.

I scowl and type a message back.

me: Hope everything with your cousin goes well.

San immediately reads it, and he types back for a long while. The message never comes through because he stops. Yeah, can't come up with more lies, can you?

I tighten the strings of my hoodie and get out of my house, catching the bus to his apartment.

This is the only way to see who he actually is. I've discovered him before by following him once, and then I found out the truth. Now I'm going to find out why exactly he lied to me, since healthy communication is clearly not on the table.

I don't plan on going inside, instead I find a spot nearby and just wait for him to leave. I know he's going somewhere, there was a mention of guns and some person named Woo, so I suppose he's the partner for tonight.

For about five minutes, nothing happens. I keep checking my phone and San's online status is inconsistent. He comes on every few seconds, probably checking for any updates from this person. When the sixth minute hits, a black Ford transit van rolls up infront of San's apartment building.

The windows are tinted, so I miss whoever's in the driver seat. San comes down a few minutes later, dressed in a classic hostile outfit. He has a mask over the bottom half of his face and pulls open the door of the van... and of course, he has his crowbar in hand.

I catch a glimpse of the inside of the van before San violently slams the door shut. It's empty. Just before they drive off, I end up stopping a cab by sliding over the bonnet. The driver stares at me like I'm insane, about to shout obscenities but I toss a 300 bill his way and slide in the back.

"You see that van? I need you to follow it," I order. The van is halfway down the road when the driver steps on the gas and we push forward.

#ateez angst #ateez imagines #choi san angst #ateez fanfic #ateez fic #ateez scenarios #choi san #choi san fluff #san angst #gang au #ateez ot8

[adpiratecore]

Got sent a ton of numbers from the ask game post by the ever lovely @rovah17 via pm!

So here we go!

4. What are you looking forward to?

My camping trip! My birthday is next week, so me and the Boys are driving all the way to Utah (22 hrs) to camp and hopefully dig for crystals!

5. Is there anyone that can always make you smile?

My lovely fiance and partner :)

6. Is it hard for you to get over someone?

Absolutely. Still not over the girl i dated freshman year of highschool, genuinely thought she was an ethereal being and had full plans to marry her.

10. Are you good at hiding your feelings?

Sure! If you dont know me. Once uget to know me my shit is obvious lol

11. Are you listening to music rn?

Nah im listening to asmr lol

12. What is something you want right now?

I want a giant minecraft creeper plush. Like. Body pillow size. (Oh my god what if there was one of those overly sexual body pillow covers but with a creeper--- i would buy that ngl. As long as it wasnt super sexual lol)

13. How do you feel right now?

Honestly? Kinda depressed. Ive been in a weird funkrecently.

15. Personality description

I dont ever post about it, but I've actually got DID (dissociative identity disorder) so that one's hard to pinpoint? But i guess the "singletsona" or the mask we put on for basically everyone we're not close with is "chaotic nerdy punk"

16. Have you ever wanted to tell someone but you didnt?

Well, my partner (as mentioned above) is a fairly new relationship. Not even a month yet new. And we went to this convention together! Anime midwest! And we were sitting out by the fountain in the area where cars pull in for drop offs and deliveries. And all i could think about was "this would be a perfect area for a first kiss" but i chickened out and thoughtit was too soon and what if they get weirded out and--- they still dont know.

17. Opinion on insecurities.

So honestly? I think its good to have some insecurities. Like i think if everyone walked around thinking they were perfect all the time, there would be no growth as human beings, emotionally i mean. I have plenty of insecurities myself, BUT this reminds me of how many people ask me for fashion advice! I dress very alternatively and really adore my fashion style and ive yet to get a negative reaction from someone. Besides the point though, i once answered that question with "Wear what makes you want. If it makes you happy it looks good, and if someone's staring it means your hot." That just kinda randomly spewed out of my mouth and the person was like "wow thats kind of inspiring"

20. What is your favorite song at the moment?

Oh gosh good question!! Kind of depends on the vibe really, but the one i get most excited for and always sing along to is Flight Of The Crows by Jhariah

21. Age and birthday?

21!! 22 on july 26th :D

23. Fear(s)

That everyone secretly hates/dislikes me and is only keeping up relationships bc they want something out of me :)

25. Role model

Honestly i dont think i have a role model atm! I try not to compare myself with people, so my brain has turned that into dont try to be like anyone. If i reeeeeally had to choose though, my elementary school (?) Art teacher. He not only helped me with the first art project i was ever proud of, he also would be playing guitar as we walked into class and when he stopped and we thought he was done and started clapping, hed start playing again. He even played behind his head if i recall correctly!

27. Things i hate

I hate cringe culture. I also hate fast fashion. I also hate anything that makes fun of children for their interests.

28. I'll love you if...

My love language is touch, and i have chronic pain, THEREFORE, if you give me a massage im legally required to marry you. Before we started dating, i was making waffles for my partner and complained about my shoulders. They randomly came up and gave me a massage! They're stuck with me forever now (sorry babe i dont make the rules)

31. 3 random facts

AAAA I TELL THIS ONE TO EVERYONE! Any bees you see outside the hive (aka worker bees) are female! All the males are drones and only serve as reproduction matter. Had a (female) boss tell me "thats not true, they're called "worker" bees" n i looked at her, at her job, and was like "what are you doing right now"

Link, from legend of zelda, is canonically androgynous! He was designed to be able to connect with on a personal level, and therefore whatever gender the player wanted him to be

My initials are MEM and i have a friend who wanted me to marry someone whos last name started with E so we could hyphenate the last names and make my initials MEME

32. Are your friends mainly girls or guys?

Mainly girls and nonbinary folk!

33. Something you want to learn

BLACKSMITHING

34. Most embarrassing moment

Idk if this is the MOST embarrassing bc memory bad but i was on my first date with my last ex, we were bowling and it was a double date with two of their friends. They get up to bowl and as theyre trying to head to the ball dispenser, i move to touch their butt as a joke (they didnt mind we were both v touchy) and they moved away right as i did so i missed and fell off the bench. They didnt even notice lol!

36. 3 dreams you want to fulfill?

I want a farm. Not any sort of big thing, just enough acres for a few animals, a nice garden, and some bees. And maybe a blacksmith workshop.

On that farm, i want a divination shop! Just a little building with a front room for supplies and such, but the main attraction are the two back rooms. Decked out with tapestries and blankets and pretty fabric decorating the walls and ceilings, super comy couches or chairs around a beautiful table where we host readings of all sorts. Tarot, rune, bone throws, ect.

As soon as the farm starts up this one will likely be done, but to fill the time between now and then (bc farm is end goal) id love to be a theatre costume designer! Head honcho would be best, but honestly I'll take any position sewing :)

40. Favorite memory

Again, memory bad, but a good one is taking pictures of the highschool ex i thought i was gonna marry. I was in a photography class, and at the time planned on being a photographer professionally, so we ran around her neighborhood (she lived in a really nice area) and took pictures! Theres one of here where the sun speckles in and makes a bunch of "orbs" and it looks like shes surrounded by faeries.

51. Starsign

Leo sun, gemini moon, libra rising

52. Something you're talented at

I dont really think im talented at anything, but if i didnt say singing i think my friends would have me on a stake lol

53. 5 things that make me happy

Bees, stuffed animals, finishing costumes, my partners, and puppets!

55. Tumblr friends

Honestly i rlly dont have people i talk to consistently here, but id definitely say @rovah17 is one of em!! Thanks for being sweet bro :)

59. Why i joined tumblr

I was 14 and my friend i roleplayed with every single day told me i had to check this site out. Idr her reasoning, probably smth about fandoms, but ive been stuck ever since. I wish i could remember my first url lol!

That was long and i talked far too much but that was really fun to write!!!

#scouts log

[words-for-holland]

Always Yours

Pairing: Tom Holland x Reader

Summary: Sometimes dating a celebrity is hard...but Tom & Y/N have always said no matter what happens they could get through anything. Some angst but a lot of fluff.

A/N: So sorry for leaving yall hanging! Life is just crazy right now and this blog needs a lot of TLC tbh!! Also ehh I def dont think this was my best work but enjoy?

“Oof” Y/N lets out as she plops on to her boyfriend who was lying comfortable on the couch. Tom groaned at the impact with a cheeky smile on his face, his arms instantly wrapping around Y/N’s frame.

“Y’know..there are empty seats right there.” The soft brown-eyed boy gestured with the flick of his thick head as Y/N raises her eyes looking down at him, pretending to be slightly offended.

“Oh I see how it is then. It’s cool...Ill just cuddle with Tessa instead. I know she would welcome me with open arms instead of—” As she slowly starts getting off his chest, Tom is quick to pull her back in, securing her with his strong arms. “No baby, I was just kidding. I want you right here, and Im never letting you go.” he pleas.

The only thing Y/N could manage was letting out a fit of giggles into his chest, a sound that Tom adored and would do absolutely anything to hear every minute of every day. They stay like this for a while enjoying the feeling of each other as they both run their hands into each others hair, the feeling of their chests moving up and down, the subtle thumps of their heartbeats, and the little slips of adoration that came out of their mouths. It was peaceful. A moment that nobody could really take a way because it was theirs.

Y/N casually pulls up her phone, and scrolls through Twitter when she noticed a particular tweet on her timeline. Her eyebrows furrow, as she read the 160 character message.

Why Tom Holland Should Be With Aaliyah Cole and Dump Y/N: A Thread.

She knew it wasnt a good idea to open up the thread. She knew very well that everything within the shallow string of tweets would be a complete waste of her time because it was made up by fans who just wanted to satisfy their fantasy of shipping Tom with his co-star. Who can blame them? They always had great chemistry, but it was part of the job and thats all it would ever be.

“You’re awfully quiet.” Tom murmurs, as he places soft kisses at the crown of her head. “Whats going on?” She was lucky her phone was facing away from Tom, quickly closing the app and pretending to be on one of her many tabs in Safari.

“Mmm..nothing.” Y/N lies softly, a tight-lipped smiled plastered on her face.

“Absolute bullocks. Youre not a very good liar.” He chuckles. “Tell me darling. Whats on your mind?”

Y/N rolls her eyes in response. She’s heard that comment one too many times in her life from everyone shes known. After not giving it much thought, she gives in, sighing heavily. “Dont judge me for what Im about to say.”

“Mmm...I think it might depend on wha— Ow” Tom reacts as he playfully rubs the side of his chest that Y/N hit. “Okay too soon for jokes. Go on.”

Again, Y/N sighs as she props herself up. “Its just ... well a lot of your fans keeps talking about wanting you to get with Aaliyah.” She looks down trying not to make eye contact with Tom, who she’d imagine was looking at her with annoyance.

Tom rolls his eyes at the ridiculousness. Not so much at Y/N but the fact that some of his fans just didnt want to accept the fact that he was happy with Y/N. If it had to come from his mouth to stop the stupid rumors and give his girlfriend peace, then hed gladly yell it from the rooftops for everyone to hear. “Thats it Im making a statement about it.”

Y/N’s eyes widen in fear, scrambling to prevent him from grabbing his phone on the table next him. “No no no no.” She repeatedly declines. “You’ll only make it worse.”

“Darling, Im not going to stand here and watch you get all insecure because of their delusional ship.”

“Yeah well Im not gonna be the reason your fans hate me because Im getting in the way of your friendship with Aaliyah Cole.” She fires back.

Tom was ready to open his mouth only to be cut off once again. “And you know better. That is how your fans will always see it.”

“Okay, are you done?” He calmly asked, cautiously observing her. Rarely did Y/N ever get worked up about anything, but when she had her tangents, Tom always made sure she got off everything she needed to say before he becomes her voice of reason.

“Yeah, I guess.” she says feeling defeated. “Look its whatever and Im tired, can we just let this go and forget this whole conversation even happened?”

Tom was unconvinced, but didnt want to push her further. So reluctantly, he gave in and wrapped his arms around Y/N as they both tried to lull themselves to sleep.

***

Y/N wasnt sure how she ended up in the Tube. It was strange how the lights flickered off the rusted tile floor. The train was no where to be seen, but off to the side of the railroads was pitch black, she could hardly see beyond. To her right she noticed herself standing in the corner of the room, and to her surprise Aaliyah was there. Her milk chocolate kissed skin, and fashionably long frizzy hair dropped down past her shoulders. Her figure long and poised, as she wore a rain jacket and sweats. An outfit only she could pull off and make it look like she was a model for Vogue. Aasliyah smiles brightly at Y/N.

“Hey Y/N.” She says cheerfully as a genuine friend would.

To Y/N’s surprise she greeted her back in the same tone. “Hey Aaliyah...uhh whats going on?” Y/N wasnt sure if she wanted the answer of how they both ended up in the Tube or if she truly wanted to know how her day went.

“Well Im getting ready to present at the Oscars.” She replies, a smile plastered as if she was so excited about it, almost too excited like she was keeping a secret.

“Really? Oh my god, that’s amazing! Im so proud of you Aaliyah! Who are you taking?”

Aaliyah pauses for a few moment looking back and forth, making sure no one else was around. “Okay can you keep a secret?” She whispered.

Y/N nods her head slowly, not having the slightest clue of what was going on. “Im taking Tom. I think he really likes me, and well...I like him too! Do you think maybe I should ask him when we go?” Aaliyah asked genuinely. It was almost like she had no recollection of Y/N and Tom being a couple. “I think we would look good together. Everyone is already making rumors and ships about us.”

Y/N backs aways lowly only to bump into a broad figure. As she turns around she sees Tom, emotionless and almost sad. “Y/N.” He speaks out. “I dont think this is going to work out. Im leaving you.”

Y/N’s heart quickens, and her breaths become shorter as she tries to find a way to run. Running and running into the darkness, until all she could hear was Tom’s faint voice calling out her name.

***

“Y/N! Y/N! Baby wake up please.” Tom cries as he gently shakes his girlfriend from her disturbed sleep.

Quickly Y/N opens her eyes and clutches on to Toms hoodie firmly. Back home, and in Toms arms. It was a dream was all she thought. A sigh of relief escaping from her mouth.

“Darling...” he speaks softly, worried about his girlfriend. “Are you okay?”

Y/N looks up at him and nods frantically. “Mmm..bad dream.”

“Yeah it seemed like it. You were so frightened...I was scared. What happened?” He’s looking at her, trying to read her saddened eyes, wanting to desperately understand what scared her so he could make it all go away for her.

Y/N looks down at her fiddling hands, as she sits on the couch. “I uhh...” she lets out a chuckle, thinking of the ridiculousness of it all. “I uhh...dreamed about Aaliyah going to the oscars and saying how she loved you and how you two are perfect for each other. When I turned around I saw you but you werent happy and said you were leaving me.”

Tom doesnt say a word, all he could think about was how sorry he felt to put Y/N in this position. Though both of them knew, It wasnt Toms fault, or anyone’s for that matter. Feelings are feelings and that was okay. No human being was ever born perfect and without insecurities.

Y/N always tried to be a good sport with situations like this knowing every shippers theory and evidence were hardly ever true, but at some point there was only so much she could take before it all came out like an oil spill. Maybe it was a sign that she wasnt good enough to be with Tom if half of his fanbase thought this way as well.

Tom cradled her into his arms again, holding her tightly and kissing the top of her head. “Darling, I know youre still doubting yourself about all of this, but please believe me when I tell you that I love you so so much and no matter what happens...Im always yours.” He whispers gently in her ear. “It was only a dream and these ridiculous rumors and theories are just that. No one woman in the world could ever make me feel the way I feel for you.”

Y/N blinks softly, as she stares into space. Afraid and in a weird way ashamed, its funny how something so small and so minimal could affect her self-esteem so greatly. Tom gently brings her head up, so her eyes can meet his. He rolls his thumb on the bottom of her soft lips. “Hey, I love you.” Tom smiles.

Time stopped for the both of them the moment Y/N looked into his eyes, she felt safe. All the bad words and thoughts slowly disappear. Tom was right, none of the things that anyone said about their relationship mattered. She knew Tom loved her, and how much she truly loved him. Isnt that enough? Of course not. It was more than enough. A smile slowly forming on Y/N’s face. “Theres that smile I love so much.” He comments.

“Im sorry, for being such a —”

“No. Its okay. You have a right to feel the way you did.” He picks up her hand and leaves a gentle kiss.

“I love you so much Tom.” She says pressing her lips to his. “I dont deserve you.”

“Darling, its me that doesnt deserve you. Im always yours.” Tom proclaims as he kisses her back.

#tom holland #tom holland imagine #tom holland x reader #peter parker #peter parker imagine #peter parker x reader

[faorism]

needing the au to drop wherein i can commit to writing a historical au,, because since i first watched the db cooper job my mind went straight to OT3! OT3! OT3! (unlike with the van gogh job, since i aint playing with that fucking lieutenant)

one day maybe one dayyyyy i will sit down and i will write the ot3 into that episode's story. so, it'll be the backgrounds for the characters in the flashback (so, stephanie ritter, steve reynolds, and reggie wilkins), but with the necessary personality adjustments (parker, eliot, and hardison respectively). basically, vintage ot3 with some hot as hell aesthetics and secrets and avoiding as much as possible producing copraganda.

so. my thoughts. what i see happening. and this got super long so im throwing this under a cut. and for ease i will call them by their modern day canon names except when making a point.

first, general thoughts about the characters.

and so: steve to eliot. nothing much here on the surface. eliot still volunteers, too much an indoctrinated white man to have been forcibly drafted. so its still one man gone to war. one man come back. eliot would had been noticed early in training for his ability to pick shit up, and they teased at maybe sending him to a special unit. maybe they do, or maybe they don't because they just need to funnel fuckers to the jungle. the vietnam invasion was a terrorist imperialist venture and there's no romanticizing from me about anything done being at all valorous or special or brother-in-arms'y. and eliot commits war crimes under the american stars and stripes instead of just to keep moreau's champaign running. but also maybe moreau is eliot's superior. he certainly would have been rewarded for this ruthlessness. (eliot of course strove to impress moreau because there aint an eliot spencer who wasn't that man's dog at some point, i!!!! dont make the rules). eliot's friend died and eliot's gone off to carry out his wishes and moreau lets him because he Knows eliot is gonna come back. whether its to come back to the same squad, or follow him into deeper spy shit for the military, or to fuck off and go private. then eliot meets parker.

now. stephanie to parker. beth plays normal so well im mad at her, but there's something edgy and strategic about stephanie that i think parker can grab onto. i feel that maybe she was kind of a thief still, but there's more realism to this world so archie wasnt a super secret spy with lasers to practice with, but just a guy with sticky fingers whos a little bored and wants a protege. parker is good really good at what she does, and not having to deal with lasers makes me easy. but she's into scams that are less grifts and more Catch Me If You Can slight of hands. she's always looking for easy money (she was into lifting cars at one point! literally she follows where the crime is). she's doing something in an airport and someone tries to recruit her as a flight attendant because she's got the Look. and yall, flight attendants? that shit was like being a model and an astronaut and a time traveler back then. and according to a teacher i had, who once worked as in the f.a. union, those ladies back in the day were rad and queer and free spirited and runnnnning shit. i think, yes, it's a Job which i think we might resist placing parker into. but! of the jobs, at the time, i really see her rocking it during the time period. (also come on, the opportunities to swindle distracted people of their shit would be endless. they would just think they dropped their stuff in the airport! not that it was stolen.)

finally, reggie to alec. i think hardison will be the hardest to translate. even tho i admittedly listen to a lot of true crime podcasts, i dont know much about fbi life and also definitely don't know about it historically. part of me desperately wants to put him somewhere else even if it does have to stay within the fbi. i might cheat and make him like a Q(uartermaster) to 007/00s like in james bond, and he's like UGH this is horrible god i hate working for the fbi but they will give me funding so...... anyway, here's this totally cool [radio term]. that said, if hardison is stuck in the fbi, why he ends up there is that he is a fucking savant when it comes to research and the man can put together a presentation like no one else. that white man gets all the credit for profiling but it was hardison who goddamn was the google of the microfilm days. reggie felt super square but that might be because he had to deal with mcsweeties db cooper shit day in and day out for years. hardison is more himself. and definitely still a nerd. alec would be into dime fantasy novels and comics and ham radios and oh god he also would be into star trek like the original star trek as it came out and he would be into the zines yes! yessss. omg. also he plays a mean arcade cabinet. but he's mostly well adjusted but lonely. his colleagues dont appreciate him because fbi esp during that time were fucking wilding out and racist as hell aaaaaand im sorry im srry im trying so hard to have fbi hardison make sense but also! acab. ANYWAY.

second, the relationship

i think it would be fun to play with what it means to have parker/eliot start off first and bring in hardison afterwards. (if white collar is your thing, it would be like this canon divergent ot3 fic wherein peter burke is the last to join in.) i feel they would be Super Intense esp since they are carrying this big ass secret. kind of broken and dysfunctional and there's the passion and the commitment, but i think there's also a tenderness that's super hard for them to achieve? and i think there's a way that hardison plays such an important part in who they are and how they are. like, sure i think parker/eliot would have joy but they won't have levity. they would have compassion but they won't have gentleness.

eliot meets hardison after being recruited by nate. i think they get close because while nate and eliot have an interesting and compelling mentorship/friendship, nate is still eliots superior; sometimes its nice to complain about your boss, as hardison will say to eliot to try to make friends. i think hardison and eliot would become legit friends and not just work buddies because they are just not cut out of the same cloth as the rest of their colleagues. they grab beers after work. after hard days, hardison cajoles eliot into going to the arcade. they are friends. real real truly deep best friends, in a way hardison didn't think he could have with a fed and eliot didnt think he would have after his friend died. but also? they are like "buds" who are buds who are desperately tryna to cross any lines because there's a.... tension? an UST between them they dont know what to do with.

parker meets eliot by way of a "lets have my friend for dinner, he's a blast." and immediately immediately hardison is like... wow this woman is beautiful but like, really attracted to her personality. and parker things hardison is kinda dorky but cute dorkie? anyway, they have a puppy love situation growing. and it keeps growing until bam. eliot and parker are like. are we into alec???? fuck we are aren't we.

i think stephanie and steve would never tell reggie (even if somehow they were to be a thing). but parker and eliot? hell yeah they tell hardison. eventually. after a while. sooner than maybe they should. the tension if they should say something is one of the things that build up as UST between them for so long; parker and eliot know they are carrying this huge thing. two huge things. eliot being db cooper and also their massive crush on him.

if i could control myself to stick to a pwp, it would be another christmas. maybe the christmas nine (more?) years down the road. the damn snow grounded hardison's flight back to his nana's, and parker and eliot hear this and invite him over. the egg nog gets flowing and parker eventually is like,, fuck this. and comes onto hardison. and hardison would be like wow wow what but... idk, free love and swinging were In The Thoughts And Minds Of The People. he still checks in with eliot who is like. her body, man; i aint gonna tell her what to do. and for a sec hardison is like, man is this a cuck situation? i guess i can be for it but also...... aint mad if i aint alone. and eliot is so grateful and idk. i just want them all to be happy and having fun and no one to be left out. and yeah i am kinda brushing over a lot of the racial politics which, in a more developed fic rather than a pwp, would definitely need to be brought in; but idk that needs to just be in the bedrock of whatever plot is going into this.

it takes a lot of maneuvering of their lives but they make it work and eventually hardison is a keeper of eliot's secret too.

(apart from the historical aspect, another reason i probably won't actually write this is because i know myself. i would want to do worldbuilding. i would follow eliot and alec to their jobs, but i wouldnt want to write outright copaganda. the grit/realism i would be comfortable with would take a level of research i dont think i can commit to. but if someone wants to take this up or if you figure out a way around this issue, pls do i wont be mad)

#eliot spencer #parker leverage #alec hardison #leverage #thiefsome #okay i srsly am not this active but this week got me wanting to talk and talk about these three beauties #the db cooper job

[randomoranges]

I'm pretty sure you've mentioned it before but what tribe does Étinenne belong to? Any specific details you can give?

Bonjour – hi hello pardon for the delay

I got super busy with work and stuff and then had to think of the answer because this is not a straightforward question haha and then had to revise the og answer to make it better.

Anyways this is going to be a Thing and a little bit all over the place but here we go.

As they say in the vernac’ attache ta tuque a’c d’la broche à foin.

Bref.

So

The island of Montreal was before colonisation a meeting hub for different groups of first nations. They’d come to what is now the old port area and trade, exchange, meet up, etc. But not no one really stayed permanently esque in that gen area in a long term type of way.

Keeping that in mind, Pointe à Callière is currently the museum that has the ruins of the old Ville Mariefortifications from the Maisonneuve era.

Both areas are super close to one another. Like it’s part of the same area.

After MUCH consideration and going back and forth (thank you 5ever @allbeendonebefore for the help – the real MVP) I’ve come to these following thoughts.

For starters, it’s more particular with étienne because Montreal is a city – but it’s also an island and a few years back they tried to like unite all the cities of the island into one giant city on the island. To some success. So – what path did I want to go with? And also both paths have their pros and cons and things that make it easier and harder.

I always chose the island one because it encompasses the Important Areas of the City and the ones with the Most History, so it’s easier to include More. Ish.

Ét would have started off as just Some Guy who appears where Pointe à Callière is. He’s a regular dude and he likes the vibe of the place and the comings and goings of the people in the area so he sticks around and lives his life. People (the First Nations people who were using that area as a trading/exchange/meet up hub) would tell him stories of their adventures/things that happened because ét seemed trustworthy and because he was the “local guy” who just happened to be there and et is curious and does fit in with crowds really well. Ét ends up “collecting” these stories and obviously finds them fascinating.

Throughout his early days, he picks up on these tales, makes connections with people and lives an ordinary life by the heart of the river and at the foot of the mountain [poetic license here]. Élyse may be his only constant by then, but their relation isn’t as close as it would be today. She too would come and go but she’d be the only one coming and going as frequently and because she too does not age like a regular human, ét would assume that’s the standard. The others who come and go don’t necessarily come back so he’d think little of it – or he’d see them again Much Later, so Clearly It’s Fine.

He isn’t aware of a bigger role he may or may not have just yet.

There would have been other “avatars” of the first nations groups that would come and go and they would have traded stories with étienne as well and that would be how he would get the cartiertales from the St-Laurent Iroquoians [who are, according to history, the group that happened to be there when Cartier showed up]

For now, étienne without knowing is like the personification of the Meeting Spot where everyone meets up. He has a connection to the spot but he’s still unaware of his raison d’être. Of course, he yearns for a sense of belonging, but whenever a group comes over for a bit and he thinks this might be it, it turns out that it’s not.

Eventually, by the time the Mohawks come and settle on the territory, they would be the first group that would make an actual real connection with Étienne and like invite him to join them. And seeing as Étienne has longed to belong to a Group, he’d join. Also since they seemed to actually want to stay in a more permanent way and not just – well growing seasons done so long and thanks for all the fish.

Étienne equally being a quick study of languages would also pick up really quickly and he’d fit in nicely with the Mohawks who could see potential in him/him being an asset.

It would be around these times that he’d start to realise that people around him – that he’d met just a few years back – that were just like him what feels like the other day – are changing when he isn’t. And it’s prolly around then that he realises he’s different from the others in his community and question why. The answers he gets aren’t satisfactory, but he grins and bears it and keeps searching for Others Like Him and he wonders if maybe those others whod swapped stories with him before, with warnings and caution knew something he didn’t.

The interesting thing with PAC as well is that they’ve done this thing a few years back called the Memory Collector – collections of memories and whatnot from people who’ve come and gone through Montreal from the og Montréalistes to current immigrants and everything in between. So Étienne being the actual Collector of Memories through people coming and going and telling him their stories is like – perfect.

He’d move around with the Mohawks and it would be the first time he’d feel as though he’d belong to a group so he’d associate with them as an identity.

In my humble opinion, my thoughts have always been that when Maisonneuve and co arrived and tried to get a village started, étienne, being the curious being he’s always been, woulda been intrigued by these newcomers and would have wanted to see how they lived compared to him and the people in his community. Also, with Maisonneuve and Co wanting to get a village started in like his area he woulda been like well hello neighbours! Come, come, here is the land! Enjoy!! So, he would’ve prolly wanted the others of his community to do the same and want Maisonneuve and Co to welcome the ways of his people as well. In his mind he doesn’t understand why these two groups – and others – can’t get along and just live peacefully together. He’s seen enough bloodshed and it’s Exhausting. He much rather have those evenings of trading stories and having a good time.

Also, an interesting note is that Cartier mostly just came, saw left-ish compared to Maisonneuve who was like “aight, let us live here Permanently” that changed the dynamics and also pulled at Étienne who again was like I Want Friends.

In the og village of Maisonneuve and his Montréalistes [yes, that’s what they were called at the time] there were different first nations ppl who decided to live with Maisonneuve and Co. So it’s not always easy to be like ah yes, étienne woulda belonged to X and Y. Hence this rambly mess.

Obviously and unfortunately, there were way too many conflicts btwn Maisonneuve and Co and the first nations folks and that would upset étienne who woulda wanted all groups to get along. In his opinion there were many resources for all to live happily. The Grande Paix de Montréal [1701] would have given him Hope TM that things could settle down once and for all.

On a side note, before Maisonneuve and Co arrived, Étienne would have not used the name Étienne. That would come post colonisation but I’m not sure when. At the time he would go by Tiohtià:ke.

In the early days of Ville Marie ét woulda still been more “first nations” than “bonjour I am now a Montréaliste” but he woulda offered his services/employment to Maisonneuve as a voyageur after a bit, because on top of errthing else ét woulda been hella intrigued by the idea of exploring the world and the fact that there were people who crossed the big ocean and who lived so completely differently from anyone hed ever known woulda boggled his mind and also to get away from the hot mess of conflicts going on. He woulda thought the Grande Paix would have brought back the earlier trading hub/story swap vibes, but too many bloody conflicts he was tired of made him want to get a change of pace. Plus the fact that now he felt Attached to Groups so no longer needed to just Wait. And also the fact that said Groups were Not Getting Along would have made him want to Leave.

After a while of that, around [18XX] he woulda settled in the city and like been a merchant of sorts. [im still working on the notes and details, but he’d get tired of the trips and the conditions and it wasnt just go out and have fun and explore but there were too many issues as well and he just – wanted to have a good time, really, so hed go back to the city and change again]

By the 19th century, whatever ties with his og first nations roots he had woulda been completely washed away by the colonisation of the island – especially by what is now the old port/ville marie and he would have tried Real Hard to Fit In because of his curiosity and wanting to live like these european folk and because of how shite the first nations were being treated. George-Étienne Cartier would have been an Aspiration of his and someone he would have modeled himself after [way of life, personality, etc]

By that time he would also consider himself as French and first nation (Mohawk) as a second and maybe even third thought. Equally, compared to some other avatars, I feel like Étienne would have “lost himself” and is now unfortunately more disconnected from his OG first nation roots than others might (think Ed). The colonisation + the large amount of euros that came to MTL would have given him whiplash for years and would have been like a tidal wave over his head. All of a sudden the village boomed, it was a city and there were more of these french cathos than anything else.

For a good part of the 19th and 20thcentury, he would have identified as Catholic and French with very little regard to his first nation roots. The og village of Ville Mariewould now be an actual thriving and important city and offering more opportunities for growth to him/suddenly MTL city is super relevant. He’d get swept up by the fast pace and the “glamour” and pretty words and it was easier to just go with the flow than to fight. He’s always been someone of good times and parties and of celebrations over everything else and obviously it wasn’t always easy for everyone in the city, but it certainly is when you know the right people and you’re on the up and up as an Important City.

Post Oka crisis (1990s), I think he would have started lowkey thinking about his first nation roots again. Mostly because the crisis shoved it in everyone’s faces in a big way that hadn’t been heard in a Long Time. And maybe slowly slowly like veeeerrry slowly reconnecting. But feeling v lost and overwhelmed by it bcs is that even still him? Was that ever even him? And if not then what the heck even bcs thats like centuries of his life just – forgotten and lost. But to a point he’d also relate with the immigrants who’d come to his city and then feel alienated from their og roots. And then also like even going back to it it’s not even what it was Before, because the Mohawks changed over the centuries as well [duh] as most groups do. Like with any language and expressions and fashions and such from any place.

Eventually at some point in the 21st century he would reconnect more and make his own amends with his identity and the multiple facets it has as well as coming to terms with certain events that happened btwn the euros and first nations over the centuries. The Catholic identity would peter down post 1970s, but the french id would stay even though he likes the multicultural aspect. Theres just something about being a little shit and also being Different in a Sea of Same, etc

In the end, he would attach himself to being Mohawk + French origins since those two would really be the two first groups that gave him a sense of like “belonging” in their own way. [And, obvi he’d belong to the queer community lamao]

Literally coulda just answered your ask with: Mohawk, French, Queer Lamao bit I turned this into a Thing TM oupsee.

And I totes hope this actually Answered the Question and you didn’t mean something completely different LAMAO

#rooniebuttercups #ask #answer #heeeey salut là #do you want info on étienne m maisonneuve and his Origin Story #lamao #this was a Thing #ive written one shots shorter than this #ask and u shall receive lamao #pc: montreal #étienne maisonneuve

[aaliyah-babe]

Pilot: Part Two

Pairings: eventual Joey x reader

authors note: i own nothing from friends, all credit goes to their respective owners. feedback is always appreciated.

Feeback is the glue that holds my writing together!

PART ONE here

the next morning, you were up bright and early, ready for a long day of work, but you loved your job, you worked at victoria’s secret. you weren’t a model or anything you were just a sales person, you didn’t make thousands, but it was enough to get by.

you took a shower and got dressed, after doing your regular day things you headed to monica’s apartment, as you knew that would be where everyone was.

you were about to open the door when monica and paul walked out, “oh, morning you two!” you sent monica a smirk and she glared before letting you in,

“morning all!” you smiled at the fact they had pushed monica’s table closer to the door, to hear.

“i had a really great time last night,” you heard monica say, as you sat down at the table next to chandler and opposite joey.

you saw them kiss and then monica walked in and closed the door, smiling,

“that wasn’t a real date,” joey started, smiling, “what the hell do you do on a real date?” he asked her, laughing.

“shut up and put my table back,” monica said to him, walking to the kitchen,

“all right kids, i gotta get to work. if i don’t input those numbers.... it doesn’t make much of a difference,” chandler said, making rachel stare at them all,

“so, like, you guys all have jobs?” she asked them and monica turned around,

“yeah we all have jobs,” monica smiled sweetly at her,

“that’s kind of how we, buy stuff,” you added onto monica’s sentance,

“yeah. i’m an actor,” joey told her and she perked up,

“wow, would i have seen you in anything?” she asked him,

“oh, i doubt it. mostly regional work,” he told her and both you and chandler scoffed.

“oh wait. unless you happened to catch the wee ones production of pinocchio,” monica told her, sitting down,

“‘look, gepetto, i’m a real live boy,” chandler quoted, and joey got up,

“i will not take this abuse,” he sighed,

“you’re right, i’m sorry,” chandler started, going for the door, “‘once i was a wooden boy, a little wooden boy!’” he sang, running out of the door, joey sighed then followed him,

“i better go too, gracie wants me in early because her “number one” client, jamie is coming in for his girlfriend,” you said to the ladies, standing up from your seat,

“wait, y/n, what do you do?” rachel asked you,

“i work at victoria’s secret,” you smiled at her and she smirked,

“yeah, she does!” monica laughed,

“oh, monica would you grow up? i’m not a model or anything i just work in the store, and sometimes i actually get to pick out some of the outfits that could potentially be on the runway,” you smiled and left the building, seeing joey and chandler walk down the stairs you ran to catch up to them, “guys! wait up!”

you all walked downstairs, talking about work when you got outside, and called yourself a cab,

“see you later, guys,” you smiled at them and left to go to work,

once you got there, gracie greeted you with a smile,

“y/n! good to see you! shall we begin?” you nodded at her and she continued, “okay, so, jamie is going to be in soon and he said he wasnt sure what to get her so i know you can help with that, and he said you two have the same body types so that’ll make it even better!” you nodded before going to restock some of the things while you waited.

about a half an hour later you felt a tap on your back, you turned around to see a tall, very good looking man standing over you,

“are you y/n?” he asked you, you nodded and smiled,

“yes, you must be jamie?” you shook his hand that he held out for you as he spoke,

“yes, i’m uh, here for my girlfriend,” he reminded you that he had a girlfriend so you backed off,

“yes okay, is it a special occasion or just a night in or, well you know,” you smiled up at him and he nodded,

“last one,” he laughed and you smiled, he had the nicest laugh.

“okay well, any specific things she likes, color or material wise?” you asked him, and he shook his head,

“uh no, i believe the only thing she told me was, i need some lingerie for tonight, so unless you can figure out the stuff from that i have no idea,” he laughed which made you chuckle,

“um, okay i’m sure we can find something for her, follow me please,” you said to him and he followed you,

after a long time of talking and looking at stuff you finally finished your shift for the day and headed home,

“bye, gracie!” you called out to her,

“bye, y/n! see you tomorrow,” she called back.

you caught a cab and they drove you back to the apartment complex, you headed straight to your apartment to change before joining the rest of them at central perk. monica was explaining what paul had said to her and then what a girl at work had said to her,

“of course it was a line!” joey exclaimed,

“why? why would anybody do something like that?” monica frantically asked,

“i assume we’re looking for an answer more sophisticated than, to get you into bed,” ross answered her question.

“is it me?” she asked them, “is it like i have some sort of beacon that only dogs and men with severe emotional problems can hear?” she asked them.

“alright, come here. give me your feet,” pheobe said, monica sat down and pheobe started massaging monica’s feet.

“i just, thought he was nice, you know?” monica said to them, and you sighed, putting an arm around her,

“i’m sorry, mon’,”  you said to her and she leaned into you, it was silent for a while before joey spoke up,

“i cant believe you didn’t know it was a line!” he laughed before you shoved him off the couch.

“guess what?!” rachel yelled, running into the coffee house, making everyone look at her,

“you got a job?” ross asked her,

“are you kidding? i’m trained for nothing!” she said weirdly excited, “i was laughed out of twelve interviews,” she said still happily.

“and yet you’re surprisingly upbeat,” chandler pointed out,

“you would be too, if you found joan and david boots on sale, 50% off,” she said, passing monica the box of the boots.

“oh, how well you know me,” chandler sarcastically said.

“theyre my new, i-don’t-need-a-job, i-don’t-need-my-parents, i’ve-got-great-boots boots!” she exclaimed,

“uh, rach?” you asked her and she nodded looking at you, “how’d you pay for them?”

“a credit card,” she answered you,

“and who pays for that?” monica asked her,

“uh.. my father,” she mumbled walking to the counter, but everybody heard,

“i’ve got an idea,” you said to them before explaining your idea and walking with them all back to the apartment,

“come on! you can’t live off your parents your whole life,” monica told rachel,

“i know that. that’s why i was getting married!,” she explained to her.

“give her a break, it’s hard being on your own for the first time.” pheobe siad to monica, and rachel calmed down, looking at pheobe,

“thank you,” she thanked her.

“you’re welcome, i remember when i first came to this city, i was 14, my mom had just killed herself and my stepdad was back in prison. and i got here and i didn’t know anybody, and i ended up living with this albino guy, who was cleaning windshields outside port authority, and then he killer himself! and then i found aroma therapy, so believe me i know exactly how you feel,” pheobe explained, rubbing rachel’s back.

everybody was silent and staring at her as she got up,

“the world you’re looking for is... anyway,” ross said, sitting in her seat.

“all right. you ready?” you asked her, holding up the scissors and she looked at you,

“i don’t think so.” she sighed,

“oh come on! cut! cut! cut!” ross started chanting and everyone joined in,

“cut! cut! cut! cut! cut!” everyone yelled.

she grabbed the scissors as ross held out the credit cards and she cut them one by one, after she was finished everybody cheered,

“well done rachel!” you exclaimed, hugging her.

“welcome to the real world! it sucks. you’re gonna love it,” monica told her.

it was later in the night and you were chilling with chandler and joey, in their apartment,

“i’m serious! i don’t help the women change, i hand them the clothes and they change, if they like it they tell me, you idiot!” you exclaimed at joey,

“oh come on, y/n. you’re telling me that you’ve never looked,” he pressed,

“nope, i’ve never looked,” you said to him, grabbing your coat.

“well kid’s i’m gonna go home, i need sleep,” you said walking to the door,

“bye,” chandler waved,

“later,” joey said, and you went to your apartment and crashed there for the night.

the next morning you were all hanging out at the coffee house like usual,

“i can’t believe what i’m hearing here,” joey sighed,

“i can’t believe what i’m hearing here,” pheobe repeated joey but sang it instead,

“what? i said you had-” monica was cut off by pheobes singing,

“what i said you had,” she sang,

“would you stop?” monica asked her,

“was i doing it again?” she asked them,

“yes!” everyone yelled at her.

“would anybody like more coffee?” rachel said, walking up with an apron on and coffee in her hand.

“did you make it or are you just serving it?” chandler asked her,

“i’m just serving it,” she said to him,

everyone raised there mug up to her

“yeah i’ll have some!”

“yeah,”

“me please,”

“kids, new dream,” chandler started, “i’m in las vegas. i’m liza minnelli,” he starts and the guys start nodding at him.

#friends #joey tribbiani #rachel green #ross geller #monica geller #chandler bing #pheobe buffay #x reader #friends series

[tomdiddlyumptious]

YES MA’AM- REQUESTS ARENT OPEN AT THE MOMENT I HAVE SOME TO FINISH AND ILL OPEN THEM BACK UP!

Summary: he makes it up 🥸

Warnings: soft smut? Language, acting drunk to leave, a jealous Tom holland, NOT PROOF READ

A/n: SORRY THIS TOOK ME SOOO LONG, I WAS LIKE MENTALLY PANICING AND WASNT IN THE RIGHT HEAD SPACE

T.H| Oop-

“I mean am I sleeping over though? Because I didn’t get these chocolate cakes for no reason, zendaya” you eye your phone. “Yes we will have a marathon of Harry Potter” you let out a little ‘yes’ “stop cheering y/n, and Toms gonna be there” “as in...” “yes. Tom holland, impossible tom holland” “REEEEE” you and zendaya have been best friends for what felt like foreverrr, like dramatically long, you played as one of her love interests.

But you’ve had a crush on Tom holland for longer, you had him on your wall, just kidding. But everyone in your family, mostly your mom said “oh you like snow flakes?” “Interracialllllll” “alright give me my privileged babies soon” “damn I kinda took you for the Asian type” “yeah I thought you liked BTS” “UK accents is hella annoyin, find someone else” “would you stop hoggin the TV? I’m tryna watch American Top Model!” “Nah let’s watch basesketball-“ anyways, ya you have annoying, irritating family, oh well.

“You think he likes dark skinned type?” “He likes girls with aggressive tans I know that much” “that isn’t helpful” “hey I’m just being honest” she shrugged looking at you through the phone as she picked up her makeup brush. “So what are gonna do for your birthday?” “I-uhhhh probably clubbing?” “As in golf?” “No, party y/n” she glared at you as you chuckled.

“Please ask hunter when we are getting married” “y/n, I know you have an insane crush on her to but it’s just never gonna happen, she’s mine” you stuck out your tongue at her as she did the same chanting “she’s mine, she’s mine” “whatever I need to get ready” “bye papas” “bye mamas” you hung up, instantly going to your closet and pulling out the dresses you have, only to put them back and grab a two piece, it’s neon yellow, the pants are high waisted, no belt, the top stopping right below your boob, the straps at the end of your collar bone.

For accessories you put on some black dangle earrings and a black purse, a gold but matching watch, but you put on sandals, no high heels because the pants were covering your feet anyways, for your hair you put on your wet and wavy lace front, you added lip gloss to your lips, and they look like glass, in a good way of course, the fox eyeliner with thick parted eyelashes and a neon eyeshadow with it. You brushed your eyebrows up and boom your done.

You stepped back and went to your full body mirror, checking your butt and your boobs, smiling at yourself “you look fine” you sigh, grabbing your bag, phone, and keys.

You phone rung and you answered. “Yes z?” “Are you picking me up?” “Yeah sure babe, I’ll be there soon” “alright bye” she hung up. Luckily for you, you just got your 1966 mustang, vibrant white baby, everyone would wanna touch your car, you named him KAI, stands for kiss ass ight. The License plate saying “white ssn”. (I’m sorry but I really like these old kinds of cars, I fucking had to) you hoped in your car and drove to dayas home, you picked her and her brother up, just listening to old 2000’s and 1900s songs, either rapping or singing your asses off.

You guys were there pretty early but of course you were, it’s her birthday, she didn’t want to dance yet because of her makeup and you felt the same, leaving her brother smacking his lips and eyes glued to his phone.

Now everyone was starting to come, hunter, Jacob, alexia, Barbie, everyone, and most importantly, Thomas Stanley holland. No cap you bout dead as fuck, did I mention you run on Red Bull’s? Just kidding. You remained calm, hugging hunter and talking to her. “Hey” zendaya said, grabbing your hand and pulling you up, pulling you to Tom. “Hi Thomas, this is y/n” “the one and only?” He laughed, making you both giggle. “Yeah” she nodded, Tom got up, opening his arms and she pinched you, silently telling you to hug him. And you did, taking a breath you smelled him, he smelled really good, sexy and musky, like something you’d want to smell all day.

“You smell nice” Tom whispered. “Yeah you too” you smiled, pulling back from his hands as he nodded at you and sat back down, you looked and zendaya as she silently cheered, you walked back over to hunter and ordered something to drink. “So you and Tom?” She asked, you only rolled your eyes. “You know I’ve had a crush on him for years now but I don’t think I’ll be making any progress” you thanked the person as they handed you the cheerily temple. “Whattt? This is your chance to get drunk and confess your feelings, like wake up in the morning with him” you smacked your lips at her “girl I don’t know, and I wouldn’t want him to forget what happend” you shrugged. She put her hand on your shoulder making you look at her “take a shot, before zendaya pressures the fuck out of you both” she warns, making you sigh and throw yourself back in the seat.

“I know and that’s the problem, I don’t think-“ “you’ve had a crush in him for years y/n, you can make this a reality, you don’t have to dream anymore” zendaya whispered in your ear “I told you” hunter smiled. “Fuck stop smiling at me like that, you’re gonna make me fall in love all over again” you said making them both laugh. “Okay Cupid what’s your plan?” “Don’t worry bout it alright girl?” “Alright”

“Harrison fuck off it’ll happen when it happens” “well it seems like she’s bored, I’ll go entertain her” “don’t you fuckin dare haz, I’ll beat the shit out of you” instead of haz getting up Harry did, he walked over to you and sat down next to you, the lights and music booming as he took out his camera. “Hey” he smiled at you. “Hi, I’m-“ “y/n, yeah I know, I’m Toms brother, Harry” he held out his hand and you took it. “I thought you looked really beautiful- I was just wondering if you wanted to take a few pictures?” “Oh I’m not the picture type” “pleaseee?” He beggged, you giggled and nodded. “Alright” he took a few pictures of you as Tom stared at you.

“He’s tottaly gonna get instead of you” Harrison whispered in his ear, making Thomas slap his arm “shut up div, I’m just gonna wait here and I’ll see what happens” he told haz his game plan, no progress. Zendaya walked over “I know you like y/n, please hit on her, you both would look so good together, you’d bring me smoll Bebes-“ “Jesus zendaya we get it” Tom rolls his eyes as haz lets out distant chuckles.

“This is so awkward, he doesn’t like me and-“ you sighed. “Oh my god, you never give up so easily y/n, what’s wrong you’ve liked him since preteens” hunter asked in all seriousness. “Are you talking about Tom?” Harry asks, both of you looking at him and letting out a way to fast “no” leaving Harry in giggles. “Well I wish I could help you but I don’t know anything” he shrugs, you soon see Tom make his way over to you, standing infront of you. He clears his throat to say something big but only lets out an-

“Hey” you wave back at him, hunter silently cringing, feeling the tension able to cut it with a butter knife. “Your so fücked” Harry laughed, Tom glaring at him but smiling back at you. “Uhm, how’s your day?” “To be honest I’m having a bit of anxiety right know” you both laughed “me too, yeah” he nods his head. “Look you don’t have to really speak to me if you don’t want to” you laughed “I think we both know-“ “zendaya” you both said. Hunter looked at Harry, panicking for you as you remained calm. “Okay- yeah- thanks” he smiled, as you returned, he walked off.

“You fucked up” “well what was I supposed to do Harry? Suck his dick?-“ “it would’ve made some progress” “shut up hunter” “I feel awkward for you” “second hand emarrassment hunter” “well you knew what I meant Harry so we are all good” you looked at them both “I’m fucked” they just both agree with you. “I think I’m gonna go” “then I’m coming!” Hunter said. “How are you gonna leave zendaya?” You only picked up his beer can, winking at him and hunter ‘helped’ you out.

“Woah woah woah where are you two going?” Zendaya asked, the shit in her hand as she looked confused. “She’s drunk” “whattttt no I’m nottt” zendaya looked at you as your eyes were barely opened, taking your finger and pushing it against hunters lips dramatically. “Let me tell yaa E sevret” you whispered at zendaya, you came close to her ear, “I’m so naw dunk” “you drunk, get out of here, Tom will give me a ride” zendaya waved you both off, Harry soon running up “let me get your number at least, yeah?” “Sureeeee” you wink at him, he hands you a pen and you write your number, a nice happy face next to it.

“Let’s get you home, nice show you out on” you took your time, trying to look drunk as possible. “My whole life is madness! I can’t- he doesn’t like me I promise you” you say, pulling out of the parking lot, hunter right next to you. “He does, let’s bet on it” “how much?” “200” “shake on it?” She handed you her hand and you shook it. “SOMETIMES YOU LAUGH SOMETIMES YOU CRY I GUESS YOU KNOW NOWWW, I TOOK THE HALF AND SHE TOOK THE WHOLE THING SLOW DOWNN” you both sung together “BABY” you both both failed the note, laughing together as you rode both of you home.

“She left” zendaya shruged, “what why?” “Shes black out drunk” Tom put his eyebrows together, he was litterally with you like a couple minutes ago, sober as hell. “Yeah... alright” he nodded, Harry took out his phone and sent you a simple hey, which you returned under a minute later.

Everyone had a lot of fun, you and hunter ordering some random stuff off of Amazon and making the cake that you would both send to zendaya the next day, on the other side everyone danced and drank, they were sober enough to go eat at least. “Who are you texting?” Tom asked Harry. “Y/n, she’s showing me the things that she’s ordering or something like that, I wonder why she’s a Harry Potter addict” toms jaw slightly clenched, “can I see?” He asked, Harry looked at him, forgetting that you’re supposed to be ‘drunk’ “Nah mate, she’s drunk texting me though” “bulshit, give me the phone” Harry sighed as he gave tom the phone, scrolling through the text messages the messages were alive, not dead at all, no lols, laughing emojis, more ‘lmao’ ‘AKDIHDIHFRJRFN-‘ ‘I- what? Okay-‘ he couldn’t help but be jealous, he handed Harry back the phone.

“What’s wrong?” Harry asked, looking at Tom confused. “You know I like her” “it didn’t seem like it back there” Harry smirked. “Do you like her?” Tom asked, Harry only shook his head “all for you, just making conversation and trying to pull her closer” “whattt Harry got the digits and you didn’t?” Haz whispered, “fuck off”

“But this is like, really ugly” “that’s why it’s called an ugly Christmas sweater, y/n” you layer on her arm, looking at Kohl’s, “green for sure, red is just plain” “how about we get like onzies of animals or the incredibles” hunter looked at you “perfect, yeah” you nod ferociously.

You checked your phone and saw some messages, from you dad and you mom but also Harry, you were quick to answer them all, and as the night got old you had finished the cake.

“I don’t know mate do some research on her, watch her interviews” haz suggests as they were all home, Tom mentally panicking because Harry’s eyes was glued to his phone, he whipped out his computer and searched your name, ‘Y/N has a CRUSH on who?’ He bit his lip and clicked it

“Sooo, we know your the romantic type- so who were you in love with?” The interviewer said, you smiled and shook your head. “I’ve always had a crush on Evan peters, algee smith from let it shine, Keith powers, and of course Tom holland, I don’t know but just in all his movies he was the cutest thing” you giggled, putting a leg over the other. “That’s a lot of people” “hey, I only crush on one now, and yes it’s Tom holland” the girl raised her eyebrows at the camera “you make sure you hit her up” “please do” you wink at the camera, “now, you feel sexy most when?” “Probably when I take a shower and put on my silk robe” you shrugged.

“Silk? Sexy” Tom smiled to himself, imagining you in it, maybe a towel over your freshly washed hair, lingerie under, maybe a mustard yellow to match your skin, his eyes widened in shock as he felt uncomfterble in his pants, he looked down at his pants “fuck, not now!”

“Are you really crying?” Hunter asked. “No I’m having an emotional roller coaster” “so your feeling different emotions, your so bipolar” hunter laughs, “your not helping you know” she only shrugged at you, then the door was knocked on “I’ll go get it” “alright” you acted sleep, thinking that it was probably zendaya and... you were right. “Hey is she sleep?” She asked, hugging hunter. “yeah, but come in- she’s on the couch” hunter smiled, hearing zendayas foot steps and she giggled “she’s sober by now” she bent down, wiggling your ear and you couldn’t help but laugh.

“Hiiiii” she waved at you, you only waved back, then she laid down next to you, her glasses on and in her sweatpants and a black t-shirt. “So you and Tom didn’t work huh?” She whispered and you only shook your head no, a tear fell down your cheek as she coed at you, wiping it away. “He’s stupid, he will come around one day yeah?” You nodded at her, “did you make the cake?” She asked and you nodded again. “Let me show you, come here” hunter said, she looked at you, you looked pretty lifeless at the moment honestly. Hunter and zendaya left and you checked your phone.

Ding

Your eyebrows furrowed at the anonymous message. You opened it and it said-

Hey it’s Tom, I was wondering if you’d like to get lunch yeah?

You texted him back-

As In... Tom holland orrrr...

Tom smiled at his phone

Yes y/n, Tom holland here, take it while you can

Cocky asshat

He laughed at your reply sending winking emojis,

Yeah lunch, I’ll see what I can do

Cya love

Bye luv

As time passed Tom looked at your work, your charity events, your women’s rights, your debates, your everything. He grew more interest then he already did, already wishing to work with you. “Hamburgers? What if she’s vegan, fuck” he only searched up what food you like, “burrito truck?” He could tell you weren’t like the other people with loaded of money, you were more of the cheap rich, not a bad thing but a very good one. “Sparkling water? That doesn’t really go with burritos, she doesn’t like cheese by it’s self or where you can taste it over anything, she sticks to the basics, god I need a pen and paper for this” “I got it, lover boy” Harry says, throwing it at him.

“Hey your the one who’s trying to take her away from me” “no that’s not true, I was trying to help you actually, her favorite color is (y/f/c) she likes nature or a big view of the city, beach sometimes, she actually wants a beach house” he shrugged, Tom smiled and thanked him, writing some things down

-nature, somewhere green for lunch

-quiet too, somewhere not to public

-sparkling water for sure, no burritos though

“Shit I don’t know, chicken or something!” Tom struggled.

-fruits, nuts, macoroons, nuts, wine

He smiled at the ugly written bullet points, “aha” he then took his phone, biting his lips as he tried to find the perfect place.

“He asked me to lunch last night” you smiled, hunter and zendaya looked at each other, mouths agape as they laughed. “Really? Oh my god y/n can I be the god mom?” “Oh I’ll be the god dad all the way!” Hunter added as you laughed and shook your head, you’ve been on a Harry Potter marathon all night, now your on a Star Wars one, so many tears fell of your face, you cried for draco, zendaya cried for George and Fred, hunter cheered on voldermort, which almost got her kicked out, how petty.

“What if it’s only lunch?” You asked, looking at hunter and zendaya. “I mean, yeah it is only lunch” hunter shrugged making zendaya slap her arm. “No it isn’t, you are probably gonna get laid and he’s gonna confess his love to youuu, then you both naked and kissing” “ew don’t make me imagine that” hunter shuddered, sticking out her tongue. “Welp we are staying here when you leave” “how do you know I won’t be back?” “Because I know things”

Tom spent his day visiting places, until he found the perfect one, green and the ocean? Best thing ever. It was pretty too, no plastic, no damage to the ground, the ocean is to be heard, perfect for you and Tom. He texted you to get ready, it was about 6, he bought everything he needed for it, put the ice cream in the cooler with ice in it.

“Alright, this one” hunter held up a dress, a small slit but it was a sweater dress, like for the fall or winter, it’s white with brown buttons that go down to the end of your stomach, the dress stops in the middle of your thighs. “Then wear some comfterble shoes please, we don’t want you to run your toes” zendaya said, pulling out some neon yellow huaraches. “That doesn’t match” hunter said, zendaya put the shoes back and pulled out some dark dark black ones.

You got dressed, comfterble for sure, zendaya flat ironed your hair while hunter did your makeup, “alright” zendaya and hunter admired their art, high giving each other before turning you to the mirror, “don’t worry it’s sweat resistant” hunter said, zendaya laughed as you rolled your eyes shaking your head. Then of course their was a knock on your door. “I’ll get it” zendaya said, you went to your room and grabbed your phone, noticing you have no pockets you held it. “Keep your hands off of my girlfriend, have fun though!” Zendaya said, your eyebrows furrowed in confusion as you came out and seen everyone smiling at you

“What happened?” You asked as everyone shook their head. “Nothing!” Hunter said smiling at you, Tom came up and gave you flowers, not roses but daises “you look lovely” he says, giving you a hug, chest to chest, pelvis to pelvis, not in a Percy way of course, just a very friendly and close hug. “Can you put these in a vase for me?” You say, handing the flowers to hunter as she only smiled and made her way to the kitchen. “Have fun, once again, we want her back by 10” “that’s only 4 hours zendaya” “we’ll make your way over there, it’s starting to become late” “alright mother, we’re out” you sarcastically say, leaving Tom laughing as he takes your hand and pulls you to his-

“El Camino!?” You said, practicly smiling a a child when they get ice cream. “Yep, I know how much you like old cars so why not get you one right?” He squeezed your hand. “Oh I could so kiss you right now!” “I wanna save it for later, let’s go” he smiled at you, he pulled you to your seat and opened the door for you, you sat down and he closed it, running to his side and getting in. “Your pretty fast” “shut up” he laughed and started the car, Kendrick Lamar playing in the background as you both rode in the city.

It was silent but comfterble, you slipped your phone in the cup holder, played footsie with yourself, and almost shook when he placed his hand on your thigh, you looked at him and he smiled at you “warm” he only said, paying attention to the road, rocking his hand back and forth.

“I love this, you gave me all the things I love tonight” you smiled. “You now at the birthday party I didn’t show that I liked you” he commented, laying in his stomach ontop of the very large blanket as you sat with your legs closed. “Yeah I don’t think you like me... I know if it’s weird and-“ “what no I like you! I do! I’m just stupid, like zendaya would say, so” you both giggled as he sat up and grabbed a grape vine, it has grapes on it by the way. “Lay down” he smiled, and you followed, laying down. “I’ve seen all the work you’ve done” he smiled, the radio in the band Toto playing, Africa currently playing. He leaned down the grape and feed it to you and you chuckled. “I really like how dedicated you are, how hard working you are, how nice you are, everything about you is beautiful” he complemented, the moon popping out for the ocean, the sounds of water slapping the rocks calming the both of you.

“Well thank you” you say, done with the grapes he fed you, he fed you some more. “I bought ice cream” “what kind?” “Uhmmmm, not vanilla, cookies and cream!” “Doesn’t that have vanilla in it?” You looked at him, he shrugged and put the grapes down and took the ice cream out of the freezer “I didn’t know you were such a 80s fan, what would you bring back?” He asked you. “Probably all the color, the music, I love mullets and shags I just love it all, how everything was in fashion, freedom and dumb teenagers and yelling old people, ya know?” “So your a very detailed person?” “Yeah, I don’t pay attention to the big picture that much if I’m being honest” ‘it never rains in Southern California, by tony’ playing, now the moon full on display, he grabbed two spoons and handed it to you, you both grabbed a scoop. “Let’s try something”

“Like what?” “Cross my arm with yours yeah?” You wrapped your arm around his, your spoon facing you “and 3” he said, taking the ice cream in his mouth as you followed, giggling “I like the flavor” you covered your mouth. “See! I knew what I was talking about, and doing!” He cheered, you both laid side by side and looked at the view, still eating the ice cream of course, until he put his lips on yours. “I really like you y/n, I hope-“ you put your lips on his, holding onto his cheek you smiled into it, he made his hand go down to hold onto your waist, the moon shining on both of you, he flipped both of you over so he was on top, you let out a quiet moan as he kissed your neck and slipped up you dress, taking off your panties, you trailed your hands down to the hem of his shirt and pulled it up, rubbing over his torso, moaning as he found your sweet spot, kissing it and sucking harsh circles on your neck, he sat up and helped you take of his shirt, unbuckling his pants and taking off the belt to where ever.

He unbuttoned your dress, taking out your breasts and sucking on one of them, you whimpered as he twisted the other, your hands making it to his hair and tugging a bit making him hum in satisfaction. He switched nipples and looked up at you, you head was thrown back, breathing heavy and he opened your legs, you bucked your hips up allowed him to pull your dress up and over your head, he ditched his pants, well not really, there still around his ankles and both of your shoes are off, how? I don’t know. He came up and you leaned on your arm while the other was on his cheek, your lips hovering his, he muttered a ‘ready’ you nodded and he bottomed out in you, both moaning at the sensation, he kissed you and rocked his hips, you moaned as his hands found your waist, holding onto his bicep for support. Soft moans shared “y/n, fuck your so tight” he whispered in your neck and you whimpered, clawing his arm as he went harder, still slow though,

“Tommy, I’m gonna-“ you swallowed, bucking your hips up and arching your back, he rubbed your hips and held on tighter to them. He groaned and started going fast, high pitched moans leaving your lips as he stopped going hard, “cum for me” he let one hip go and rubbed your pearl slowly. “God- mm” you bit your lip trapping the moans, your head tilting back as he used it to suck more hickies on you, claiming you as you just took it all in, your head slowly starting coming up, leaving cries as your arm circled his around his arm, your back arching more, connecting chests as you said his name like a prayer while you came “fuck fuck fuck” he moaned, so close, your walls to warm to leave. “You on the pill?” He choked out. You repeated ‘mhm’ and just like that he came inside you, your name left his mouth as he rode out both of your highs, breathing heavy as a new song played ‘ask of you’ by Raphael, you both chuckled as he pressed his forehead on yours.

“Would you be my-“ “I think you know the answer Thomas, this is my 12 dream right here” you giggled. He pulled out and rolled over next to you, taking his arm and wrapping it around your shoulders, pulling you into his chest “your moans are adorable, we have to have sex more often” you only laughed at him, coming up to kiss his neck on his sweet spot, his jawline under his ear, sucking hickies on his neck as he looked at the water that the moon is glistening on. You both cleaned up with his baby wipes and covered yourselves with the extra blanket he had, he poured you both a glass on wine too, just taking each other in and the perfect view.

On the other side zendaya and hunter were high giving each other, FaceTiming Harry and saying “we got em!” He smiled and cheered, lifting his beer with Harrison and taking a sip. They set it all up, how? Who knows.

#tom holland x reader #tom holland x black!reader #tom holland #tom holland fanfic #zendaya #tom holland fic #tom holland imagine #tom holland au #jb writes

[sweater-daddiesdumbdork]

That Be Some Good Buttercream

Summary- Steve and Bucky get your help in replicating a howling commando days battle using Christmas baking fun. But... Does anything ever quite work out the way it should? Set in the same characters I used in Night In, Looking Pretty Fly and Popping Pez and Mismatched Socks. Written for @official-and-unstable-satan​ 300 Follower Celebration Challenge. She still has many prompts, check it out. Prompts in italiacs. No warnings, all fluffy. 

Word Count- 1.6k

A/N- so proud of your accomplishments babes, you are an amazing writer and I love getting lost in your stories and listening to your ideas. I know your just gonna keep going up from here. Love you always babygirl 💚😈💚😈💚😈💚

“Bucky, they came around from the south end” 

“No they did not. I remember Steve, I was there.”

“Yea, and so was I” 

You and Sam had been listening to the two super soldiers carry on at the oversized table in the compounds kitchen dining area for a good hour before you readjusted the volume on the tv once more. Sam, half laying over half the couch remained scrolling on his phone, remarking. 

“Aint gonna do you no good, they just get louder.”

You sigh and hit the off button, he was right. Might as well go see what these two were up to anyways. Pushing yourself off the couch, Sam promptly stretched his legs out onto where you were sitting, making himself comfterable. “See you on the other side Kid!” He joked, settling into watching youtube. 

Wandering in, you saw the two men bent over  large map, Steve with pencil in hand drawing arrows to discern where they started from, stretching it across what looked like a military base. Bucky shook his head. 

“No no no, Punk, I wasnt up there, I was down here” 

“Bucky, I had you up on the highest point, it just looks weird on paper.” 

“You know what, this is pointless.” You could see Bucky getting aggitated with there project, pushing himself away from the table. “We need like... a 3D model to get this right.” 

Steve to straightened up, his arms folding as he looked down at the heavily marked paper. “Well... Tony does have some...” You interrupt in this time, moving over to the table and taking a peek at what they were doing. 

“You know, I have an idea of how to make you two a 3D model.” Both the men quirked brows, curious as to what you had in mind. "Givingerbread reanatcment.” 

You expected a rebuttal, a laugh, anything, since you were joking. But the two of them actually looked thoughtful, glancing at each other. “It would be easier then trying to draw it out” Steve mentioned. “And easier then trying to get Tony to set up the AI model for us.” 

“Plus we get some fucking cookies... Im in.” Bucky grinned, obviously pleased in the options of snacks. What started as a joke from you became a very serious matter as the two Soldiers dragged you into the kitchen. The two of them looking at you expectedly. 

“I was just joking guys, Im not making you a hydra replica gingerbread base. You know how much shit that would take.” At this point you backtracking a bit, wishing the words hadnt fallen out of your mouth so damn easily cause you thought is was funny. 

“Nonsense, you wont be doing all of it. Were going to help.” Steves already moving to wash his hands as Bucky is digging through a drawer and slipping on a god damn “Kiss the Cook” apron, he found in a drawer, ties it swiftly around his back and rolls up his sleeves. 

“You know you always wanted to boss us around Doll.” Bucky smirks, wiggling brows in a teasing manner. “You finally get your chance.” 

You look between the two men, the two of them nodding in encouragement, Steve composed as ever, waiting for You to explain how to start, and Bucky well he was opening drawers, pulling out random stuff that he thought you might use. He held up a spatula with a smirk, slapping the utinsel against his palm. “How about we get this train moving kids.” 

Relenting, you turn to your phone for a recipe. “Okay fine, since you all insist. We need flour, sugar, eggs, ginger, cinnamon....” While your listing, both men are scrambling to find everything, and piling it on the counter, yourself you bring out some bowls, cookie cutters, lets face it. You needed the actual men to decorate like howling commandos. Turning on the oven to get it preheated, you search for decorations. “Steve, store run? We gotta make this accurate you know, and Buckys all dressed up for a day baking. Hate to send him." You just kinda motion lver Buckys getup, the kiss the cook stretched over his chest, the apron a size to small for him really.

Your already grabbing paper and jotting down a detailed list of food coloring, frosting, candies and such. Steve snatched the list when you held it out, he had a general idea of it all and nodded. "Dont hesitate to put Bucky to work. He just pretends to be all intimidating."

You roll your eyes and back in the kitchen theres a "Steve your a dick" retort from Bucky whos looking over the mess of ingredients piled on the counter. Steve, seemingly joyful as he grabbed keys and left, you suspect you might not see him at least another hour or two. No worries, you had the other super soldier on hand.

Heading back in you hand Bucky a bowl and eggs. "Start cracking, separating yolk from white, and no shells." You cant help but from watching him, looking a bit like a lost child, before he he starts to crack eggs and inspect for shells. You watch from the corner of your eye as you put together the dry ingredients, and start mesuring out the molasses, talking him through the rest of the buttercream frosting ingredients.

Dipping your finger in his finished product, you lick the tip of your finger, smirking at his widened eyes. Yea Steve, hes very intimidating. You maybe took a bit to much pleasure in teasing Bucky on occasion. "Mmmhh my very favorite part.... "

He cleared his throat and looked away, it might be a bit mean, but he would give it back later, this was a dance the two of you played. "Okay, what now?" He said a bit gruff and you grab your rolling pin, holding it to him.

Eyeing it a moment, his brow arched. "Ya want me to roll the dough?"

"Yea Buck, nice and thin, since you two want to make all these outer buildings as well." Pointing to Steve's sketching, And you reached in the dough and piled it on the counter on front of Bucky. "And Steve said to put you to work."

"I notice you gave Steve the easy job." He muttered as he started to flatten the dough.

"I knew you were more capable."

Bucky couldn't hide the grin at the compliment, and afterwards you both measured, cut and got the cookie sheets in the oven. Stealing part of the couch back from Sam and watching trash tv till the oven beeped. Bucky vaulted over the couch, head back into the kitchen and pulled them out of the oven.

"Are they firm?" You ask, peeking at them, a light brush of your fingers against them. The room smelled like bake gingerbread and smooth sugar. Tempting delectables to say the least.

"Yup, now what?"

"Cool and mantle your buildings." You say as You slide them off onto wire racks. "Go get the frosting, and I will show you." Already he was rummaging in the fridge to retrieve it. Peeling off the plastic cling, you pick up one of the cooler pieces and edged it with icing. Folding two pieces together. "Easy as that. You try."

Bucky took it so seriously, the tip of his tongue sticking out of the corner of his mouth as he piped that icing. His brows furrowed together in a dip right at the center. You bite back a grin and get a large dollop of icing on your finger and flick it at the man. Landing right in his face. He drops his cookie in surprise and blinks though the icing. "Fucken hell, Y/N! Whats that for?" Wiping it off, he flicks it back at you and you squeal getting hit.

That's war!

"Oh its on Barnes" smirking as you grab a cookie and crumble it, shooting it at him. Cookies fly, icing it flung, flour, and sugar is used to blind one another, you two ducked around the table, screaming and yelling insults playfully.

Bucky tried using the hose at the kitchen sink to spray you, in which you ducked and rolled right into him, the two of you collapsing in a heap on the floor among all your hard work, broken and scattered. Steve stood in the doorway, arms laden with two paper bags, his jaw hanging open at the mess. Bucky pokes you to get your attention and the two of you sit up, covered. Head to toe in frosting, flour and cookies.

"I was just gone an hour..."

"Its a long time to be left unsupervised." You shrug as you smear some frosting off your shirt and lick it off your finger, Bucky helped himself to your shirt frosting to since he had thrown half the bowl on you.

"Oh damn, thats good!" He grins.

"What about this is good?! You mean your gingerbread murder scene?!" Steve toed a dead gingerbread man with the tip of his shoe.

Bucky looked around and glared at his friend. "IT WAS HISTORICALLY ACCURATE" His voice raided to defend the mess and you promptly stuff a cookie in his mouth to shut him up.

"Come on Steve. Did the Hydra base not look like this after you two and the howling commandos were done?" You throw a cookie at him which bounced off his chest. "Eat a cookie, you feel better" next to you Bucky continued eating broken gingerbread men, grinning at his friend and nodding.

"Best damn cookies besides your mama's!" Bucky added between mouthfuls

"I just... Pick this up you two before tony throws a fit." Turning with the bags of candy he bought, passing Sam, he ditched them on the man still scrolling youtube

"You couldn't watch them for two seconds Sam?"

"And break up that little love fest? Puh-lease" Sam grinned at Steve and dug into the paper bags looking through the snacks, pulling out twizzlers.

"SCORE!"

@what-is-your-plan-today @p8tn0lish @kitkatd7 @stuckonjbbarnes @sebbbystaaan @kimisama1989 @simsadventures @that-damn-girl @imanuglywombat @jtargaryen18 @stardancerluv​ @princess-evans-addict​

#satanoutofcontext #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes #steve rogers #sam wilson #mcufam #fluffy #writing challenge #sweater writes #amber writes

[winchesterimagine]

Family Curse

Hiii I was wondering if you can imagine where the reader is their sister and she has demon blood in her too like sammy. And they go on a hunt and she can't control herself and drinks and doesn't know what to do apart from putting her in the panic room and Sam stays with her ,because Dean can't really look at the sight. Thank you :) x

Authors note: Sorry I'm really rusty everyone but I hope y'all enjoy.

Family Curse

Why is it that us winchesters find ourselves in the worst possible situations? I mean by now you would think we would know how to avoid these types of situations.Another hunt in a house in the middle of nowhere how typical of us. Your train of thought was cut off by a yell.

“Y/N, A little back up wouldn't hurt ” you heard your brothers outcry from the next room over. You came to your senses running into the room you heard their yells. Fully loaded you kicked the door in scanning the room only to see Sam pinned to a wall and Dean fighting against a blade to his neck with a demon. This scene was all too familiar to you. Before you could do anything the demon looked straight at you and laughed.

“This is what you call back up, I would think you two knew better.”

You watched as he threw your 6 ft brother like a rag doll against a wall knocking him out. You got your smart mouth from your oldest brother Dean.

“ I would think Demons knew not to even breathe near a winchester”

“She's spunky you see I like that about you winchesters. You can see death right in front of you but you won't hesitate with your sarcasm.”

“What can i say it runs in the family.”

“ What a sad family it is. I mean look at all of you, weak yet stubborn.”

He turned to face Dean wrapping his arm closer around his neck.

“ I’m not done with you”  he proclaimed as he  knocked him out in one blow.

“I should go in order though, right from the youngest to oldest. They should watch as their younger sister dies to my hand. How satisfying would that be. Them waking up to their sister's limp body knowing there was nothing they could have done. Tell me something Y/N how would you like to die.”

You were quick to respond. “Old Age or going out with a fight.”

The demon was unaware this was all planned as he stepped closer to you finally getting trapped in the devils trap your brothers and you had put days before. Took her a few steps more before she realized.

“Game over.” You said with a smile before a migraine bigger than anything you had ever had brought you to your knees. You heard the blood pulsing through the demon's body he had possessed. That is all your mind went to the power how thirsty you were for power not like anything you had experienced it wouldn't stop pulsing. It wasn't a want, it was a need no matter how hard you fought it you couldn't. You grabbed the demon  knife you had on your side and charged. You could see the fear the demon had in front of you but you couldn't stop something else was taking control and before you knew it. It was too late. You were sucking every last drop you could of demon blood getting it all over you. It felt like the greatest thing you had ever experienced a sense of power you never had. It was filling you with something you had never felt in your life. It took moments before you heard your brother call your name out.

“Y/N” in a hush tone Dean said. You could hear him struggling to get up. You had never had such a feeling of disgust until that very moment of yourself. You were hunched over the limp body barely remembering what happened still sucking on the lifeless body.This wasn't how it was supposed to go.

“Y/N,you ok?” you heard him call again terrified of turning around and you stayed frozen. Tears forming in your eyes slowly running down your cheeks till he came in front of you. Your heart had never in your life felt as heavy as it did in that instant. You instantly got up to hug him but he had never been more ready to push you away after seeing you. It was an expression you never wanted from your brother. No hesitation he raised the barrel of the gun towards you. The only time your brother had ever pointed a gun at you was when you were possessed. This was different.

“What did he do to you?”

“I don't know Dean. I couldn't control it. I just shut off.”

“No not you.”

You heard Sam grunting as he was getting up.

“What's going on? Is Y/N possesed.” sam questioned

“I don't know Sam, she was feeding on that demon's body like a monster. I don't know ” you could hear as his voice was breaking “but she wasnt trapped; she walked right out.”

“Dean put the gun down thats Y/n for gods sake” Sam yelled

“How do you know? my sister is not a monster she is not one of those freaks she can't be. She was feeding on……..” he proclaimed as he lowered his gun”......Demon blood”

Realization hit all of you like a brick wall and you felt weak to  your knees again. Sam was the first to your side as you watched your older brother turn and walk away in disappointment and disgust.

You Yelled for Dean to come back but he just stopped mid way and responded.

“My little sister died today.”

Sam didn't hesitate to come to your side.

“Y/n it's going to be ok you're ok “

You couldn't control your tears. You started wiping all the blood off of you disgusted as to what just happened.Sam trying to hold you together before you started hurting yourself.

“Let’s go Y/N ”

“No,No i can't.”

“Yes you can Y/N look at me.”

You started to calm down a bit and got yourself together while you walked out. Dean leaning against the baby barely even being able to look at you.

“Dean.”

“Let's just get out of this hell house.”

The drive was silent and your head was throbbing. I think it was the silence that was driving you even more insane. When you reached Bobby's you ran inside slamming your room's door. It was like a switch your sadness had turned into anger. You weren't even aware of what you had done till you heard a slam after the door shut. The wardrobe in the room had fallen right in front of the door locking everyone out but you inside. You heard your brothers yelling your name on the other side. What was going on. You just sat there.

Returning your brothers yells.

“I'm ok. The dresser fell in front of the door.”

With your brother's push and your pull you moved the dresser out of the way.

You were a mess you needed to shower.

“It just fell over. I don't know how it did but it did.

Both of your brothers knew that it wasn't just the dresser that decided to fall over that it was you and what was inside of you.

“Let me just shower and we’ll talk about it.”

They both nodded in agreement. You took the longest shower you had ever taken with hot water that was almost to the point of burning. You changed and met your brothers down stairs. Strange part is you couldnt find them, you looked almost everywhere. Something was off though your surroundings started changing and when you opened the door it turned into a child's room with a crib and a stranger standing near it. You felt the need to protect the child but your head started throbbing again in pain and all you heard was the stranger getting closer to you. He whispered close enough and barely loud enough to understand.

“Don't worry child, you're one of my favorites.”

You woke up on the bathroom floor freshly showered and dressed.

“What the hell is going on.”

You heard a knock on the bathroom door

“y/n can we talk i need to show you something”

“Yeah just give me a moment. You brought yourself together to be met by your brother Dean outside your door.

“Follow me”

“Dean, can we talk about what happened earlier?”

“Yeah just let me show you this first. “

“Why are we going to the panic room”

“Bobby told me he left you something that might help us with whatever's going on.”

“Ok you slowly walked in only to hear the door close behind you.”

“Dean don't lock me in here like an animal or a monster. I'm your little sister.”

“You're not yourself Y/N and i just can't.”

“Dean,Dean,DEAN.”

You could hear him  making his way up the Stairs.

The single metal bed, the provocative model poster and the desk. Rust everywhere from the holy water and salt. All too familiar.

First day passed then the 3rd it had been 2 weeks and you were to the point of no return. You started to feel so close to death. No sleep since this had started constant nightmares and headaches that would never stop.

“y/n its sam again”

You turned to the door

“Sam”

“Leave me alone let me just die here like how Dean would want it.”

“He doesn't want you to die but he feels like you have already.

“Oh that makes me feel so much better bigfoot”

“Shut up pip squeak listen because i have experience unlike you.”

He walked in sitting right next to you.

“You know I never wanted this. I feel like there's something inside me pulsing through me wanting more power but not in a good way. It's something I know it's wrong but I can't control it. It's not a want anymore, it's a need. I feel like I'm dying.”

“I know it does but ill make sure you dont ok you don't have to worry”

“Sam i'm not scared of dying”

“Dean and I are,You're our little sister Y/n but we both don't know what to do.  I remember being in this exact room and feeling like it was the worst part of my life. That my brother would rather watch me die then help but that's not the truth. He was just as scared as I was. Our own father told him to kill me if he had to.”

“I know Sam and maybe yall should at this rate I feel like I'm already dead.

You could see your words hurt Sam.

“No one deserves to die with what they can't control. Especially not my little sister. You know I've been through hell and back so has Dean. I've had the Devil himself use me like a doll and yet just because my sister thinks she's not worth living because some god forsaken demon a.**whos ruined our lives wants us to be his puppet.”

You let out a sigh of frustration “You don't get it Sam.”

“What don't I get? Get it together Y/N. This is what he wants. You're throwing the white towel. I know you're ashamed you're disgusted. You feel like the biggest disappointment to this family but you're not. You know i can't make you feel better but i'd rather die than let you go through this alone.”

“You know I wish you wouldn't but I know no matter what I say you'll never leave.”

Sam let a small smile appear on his face before he said anything.

“You got that right. No matter what Dean feels or says doesn't matter because we're family nothing changes that.”

“You know that's hard to believe when you start feeling like the one thing that could change that has  happened.”

“I know but when has our life ever made sense y/n.  I'll help you get through this and not make the same mistakes I did. come here.”

Sam pulled you into a hug and for once you thought maybe things will be ok.

When you looked at your brother this time though his eyes were glowing yellow.

“Get away from me.”

“Y/n it's me Sam.”

You filled with panic and let whatever darkness you had inside of you out.

“No your not my brother”

Before you knew it Sam was being thrown against the wall. You ran to the door and it went swinging open. There stood Dean in the doorway with black eyes and before you could think you tackled and took him down. You kept fighting him while he kept yelling at you. Your fist not going anywhere with how weak you really felt.

“ you'll never be a part of us. You're a disgrace to even be called my sister. Dad was right, you're weak, you'll never be enough. I wouldn't even hesitate your a monster and you know it ”

“Stop It Dean please”

You felt Sam pull you off of Dean and push you against the wall. His eyes still glowing yellow while he yelled at you. His eyes glowing seeing right through you looking at you like you were nothing to him.

“You know maybe you should just give in and let it kill you. You're not worth the effort to save. You're weak.”

You kept fighting and shot up sweating. Sam was holding you close, restraining you. You felt the worst you've ever felt and you've been stabbed and shot numerous times but this took the cake.

“ It's ok Y/n it's not real you're going to be ok.”

You felt a tear hit your face from sam. You couldn't control your emotions, you were crying and your body uncontrollably  shaking. Your body felt so cold but your head felt like it was on fire.

“Sam, I can't take it. It hurts too much. Please make it stop.”

His grip got tighter and you could feel yourself slipping into sleep again.

“Y/n I swear I'll make him pay. You're going to be ok. Me and Dean are going to take care of it. We always do ok. You're our little sister we can't let anything happen to you it's our job. I'm so sorry Y/n. Please be ok.”

You heard his voice breaking like you never had before.

“It's ok Sammy, I'm tired.”

Your eyes started getting heavy and before you knew it you were out.

#supernatural #supernatural fanfiction #supernatural imagine #Sam Winchester #winchester sister #supernatural family #winchester bros #winchester x reader

[voidselfshipp]

Future Days (Of You And Me)

Tw: injury mention,blood mention, food mention

Jerico x Joel

Ok to rb

Heavy steps make their way to a cabin,the snow its drowning any sort of noise,the clouds are grey, darkening as the sun sets further into the horizon,the wind blew mercilessly, the pine trees shook at mother nature Will.

Jerico dragged herself to an old cabin,the big windowpanes are shadowed and covered by the mist And the residual smoke.

A chimney, just snuffed out, heavy, heavy boots left ashen marks on the old oak floorboards.

Still, whoever that was they were gone, with the resting embers in the chimney, a Fire came to life,jeri rubbed her hands togheter trying to warm herself, as the Fire slowly came more and more to life.

Its dark outside, at this hour her mind gets the best of her, if it wasnt because of her pets.

Missy growls, the Manchester terrier stands up, pointing at the basement.

Jer tries to dismiss her but the dog insists running to the door,she grabbed her rifle and Ran behind her dog.

She found her licking the face of a Man, heavily wounded.

Jerico looked for any scratches,bitemarks,anything that could point to an infection.

Nothing.

The Man,whoever he was, was breathing heavily, his lungs werent working, and the injure on the left side of his temples was bad, very bad.

She carried him upstairs, leaving him near the Fire.

His life force was slipping through her fingers, she could feel it,Like water down a stream.

She got to work quickly, cleaning and tending the wound as much as she could.

The person that left probably had unfinished bussines with this Man.

She did the best with what she had, and so she scavenged for supplies.

Her hand couldnt help but wonder to the Mans face,brushing a strand of hair away from his face, she smiled softly and warmly, oh he was very handsome.

His pulse was very weak, his breaths heavy and shortened.

The chances of him surviving were Slim to none.

Yet she grabbed a can of food and cooked it, sitting him up and trying to hand feed him.

He could chew at least.

When he had eaten enough, she let him sleep on her sleeping bag.

She then Ate what was left with missy, and sat besides him, with her rifle in hand patrolling the área.

The night went on with false alarms, so when the smoky clouds cleared she packed up shop and carried the Man on her sled Back to her home.

A small cottage hidden in a Valley between two big mountains.

Yet a green garden grew, food, fruits and even a bit of livestock grew and lived in there.

She left him rest on her salvaged couch, changing the bandages.

Feeding the cows she then sat on the porch, missy curled up besides her.

From there you could see all the forest, the climb there was too much for an infected to climb up to, so it was her little piece of heaven, its early morning, the sun still rising over the mantle saying goodbye to the night and stars.

The wind started to pick up from a slight breeze to a strong wind.

She entered the house, starting a Fire in the chimney.

She sat besides the Man, guitar in her hand, the dog at her feet.

--If I ever were to lose you--she sang--

I'd surely lose myself

Everything I have found dear

I've not found by myself

Try and sometimes you'll succeed

To make this man of me

All my stolen missing parts

I've no need for anymore

I believe

And I believe 'cause I can see

Our future days

Days of you and me....--jerico had to stop as the Man reacted to that song, sluggishly trashing around.

That song seemed to mean something to him.

So she sat there lost in her own thoughts, until lunchtime arrived,unbeknownst to her as her mind wandered off into dreamland.

She made food then, a warm stew for that windy windy day.

She served three plates.

One for the misterious handsome Man, anotherone for her,and of course one for missy.

She again tried to feed him, and I say tried because the Man kept on moving away like a child, maybe he was getting some of his consciousness back.

When she was going to drop the towel an idea popped in her mind, you could almost see the lightbulb turning on in her brain.

--Back when I was feeling broken

I focused on a prayer

You came deep as any ocean

Did something out there hear?

All the complexities and games

No one wins, but somehow, they're still played

All the missing crooked hearts

They may die, but in us they live on

I believe

And I believe 'cause I can see

Our future days

Days of you and me...--And as she sang the Man seemed to be more calm as he ate, or well, munched.

She let him rest as she Walked upstairs to her room,or well art room.

Salvaged pencils,errasers and brushes, some of her best artworks were hanged all around her.

Her day ended doing the thing she liked the most.

Creating.

Eventually,jerico started using the Man as a model,it gave her a challenge, try and draw him as close as himself as she could.

Shed keep a Journal, were she kept track of his progress.

The Man eventually came to his senses,it took some weeks until he introduced himself.

He couldnt walk, or move from that couch,he could still bathe( with the help of jeri to at least take him to the bathroom)eat,and sleep.

But that was about it.

One particular morning jeri was eating breakfast on her porch admiring the sunrise, the dark mantle of the night, turning wine red as the Oranges and yellows announced and aclaimed the arriving of the sun.

Her pet curled up by her side.

Though a particular tune seems to distract her, a man,singing.

--All the promises at sundown

I've meant them like the rest

All the demons used to come 'round

I'm grateful now they've left

So persistent in my ways

Hey angel, I am here to stay

No resistance, no alarms

Please, this is just too good to be gone

I believe

And I believe 'cause I can see

Our future days

Days of you and me

You and me

Days of you and me--by the time he was done singing jer had Walked back into the livingroom

-- thought you couldnt get up?--She sat besides him.

--well-- the Man said leaving the guitar besides him-- I couldnt help myself but to play, I missed the sound of it

A warm smile appeared on jericos face as she looked away -- howd you slept?

--havent had a goodnights sleep in a while..-- he answered.

--hm..--she grunted in agreement--i should...I should go and pick up some of the veggies on the garden...you can still play my guitar though...I dont mind

She stood up,as the Man stummed the chords.

--Joel

--what?--jeri who has walking to The door turned on her heel.

--My names Joel-- he said.

--nice to meet you Joel-- better late than never,she guessed.

After picking up the best of the vegetables she Walked in back to the kitchen, she could see that Joel was still playing, entretained by the guitar.

She tapped her foot along the way as she started to prepare lunch.

The Man however took his chances and explored the house.

Stairs were still tricky, but somehow he found his way into her art room.

--What.. the hell?--he asked to himself picking up one of the portraits she had done of him, and her Journal right Next to it.

One of the last entries had been written maybe a couple of days ago.

"The misterious Man is still reluctant to introduce himself, I do get it, in this world trusting is hard.

Yet I cant shake off this feeling whenever our gazes meet.

Hes pretty funny in his own Way,when he isnt resting I find him quite charming.

This is the last drawing I made of him, I wish I could find the courage to show it to him"

Joels factions soften chuckling at the fact that the woman that saved him was a huge softie.

--Joel!foods ready!

He put the drawing down and went downstairs to eat.

They sat across from eachother, he was kind enough to help her set the table.

They quietly chatter, Jerico asked him about exterior things of himself, she knew not to poke around in things she shouldnt,and Joel didnt say more than what he should.

Yet the conversation had a warm undertone that left the both of them with a smile on their faces.

Joel took a nap,and she locked herself up in her art room to try and organize her running thoughts and feelings.

He didnt trust anyone easily, nor did he let anyone became close, emotionally or physically.

But that same night the rattle of the Windows were too much,he knew he was safe and yet he couldnt help but Grab his blanket and go up jericos room to slip into bed with her.

--Hey.. jerico...can I.. can I stay the night here?

He felt like a kid again, but a happy feeling overcame Jim when she said Yes.

His back was against hers, he snuggled closer to himself.

Yet, the panicked sensation wouldnt go away.

So he did the best Next thing and hugged jeri.

--Watcha doing Joel?--Her tone was playfull, but he looked away nonetheless, and yet she snuggled closer--relax Man, just joking

He chuckled looking away-- the last time I trusted someone this much I...uh..

He heard her sigh--the scar?

--yeah the scar

--If you dont mind me asking.. what happened?

Joel sighed heavily, pulling her closer.

--i saved a chick,and ran with her to safety, turns out she had some unfinished bussiness with me...and so here we are ...

Jer Turned around hesitantly cupping her cheek,he leans in her touch hugging her waist--im sorry you had to go through that...

--on the bright side I wouldnt have met you..

Jeri chuckled and he kissed her.

Kissing back she caressed his hair, they spent the night cuddling away,singing togheter the song that brought them closer.

#tw//injury mention #tw:injury mention #tw//food #tw//blood mention #tw:blood mention #f/o fic #joel

[hallaevak]

skam thoughts

hi ok i’m bored n sick so i’m here to give my (maybe unpopular? idk) thoughts on skam + remakes. i have seen most* remakes, but i’ll mention if i have not seen a particular season or not

first off: basic opinions (favorite remakes, favorite characters, etc)

fav jonas/eva remake:

- skam nl (kes/isa) - isa is, in my opinion, the most relatable eva remake. she’s so sassy and lovable! in general i’m not the biggest fan of the season 1 plot, but i think all jonas/eva pairings, chemistry wise, have been phenomenal. isa/kes are just a little bit more impressive in my opinion.

fav noorhelm remake

- this will be of no shock, as this is quite a popular opinion, but wtfock (senne and zoë). most william remakes kind of suck, and the general character dynamic between noora and william is not something i like. i enjoy the plot but a lot of williams are just...ew. i’m interesting in skam españa interpretation (nora and alejandro) but i can’t fully judge their season until it’s over. zoë is such a wonderful character and senne is actually not a dick! i sobbed when they broke up in s3.

fav evak remake

- i’m tied. either skam france/wtfock. i love the (for some reason controversial) dynamic between sander and robbe. i also love elu, like the basic bitch i am. elliott demaury OWNS me.

fav youssana remake

- honestly, i kind of didn’t like any of them (that are released). there’s only two out there, druck and skam france, and i didn’t like any. i’m sorrryyyy i just love sana bakkoush and no one could ever be better than her. oof! disclaimer i have not watched all of amira’s season/druck s4. i wasn’t personally interested but the acting was phenomenal.

alright now to remake-specific comments.

SKAM, the original, the og, love of my life, scandi legend that started this obsession

- honestly one of the best teen shows i’ve ever seen. the development of characters is so prominent. the acting, for mostly amateur teenagers, is mind blowing. maybe american shows just suck? but i’m absolutely in love with every character. they show such realistic stories and i applaud the skam team + actors for portraying their stories so well.

- the one comment i have is the noorhelm relationship. i just? i don’t like it. when i first watched skam i loved it. noora was hilarious (still think that) and the perfect independent woman model. i also liked william. i just wished they showed more of his vulnerability because his kind of static character is not doing it for me. he doesn’t show any evolution or change. idk, he’s still a wet fish in my eyes. obv this has no shade to the actors, thomas hayes is lovely. his character? not so much. i could write a whole essay on how flawed and dislikable william is.

now, the first remake: skam france

skam france, oui oui baguettes this remake really tickles my fancy

- as someone who kind of understands french, i really do like this remake. i have some issues with s1 and s2 but overall it is a solid remake. being the first, it makes sense for the seasons to seems little unoriginal. i still love emma and manon but their characters aren’t very authentic.

- s3 is where they really nailed it. elu’s immense popularity is only a testament to how truly wonderful the season is. the acting, the characters, slight changes in plot. i loved it. a lot.

- i wasnt impressed by s4 but it might just be my extreme love for iman meskini. no one could ever replace her.

- BUT S5. OH BOY. ROBIN. MY BABY. he is such a good actor and i love arthur he MUST be protected! i love that his shame is not romantically related. also as someone who is interested in deaf culture wow! i’m impressed by the research done by skam france. not only is his the first original season but it is excellently executed. noee is my mother i love her.

druck, likely the most liked remake to which i do not disagree with that statement

- druck is legendary. i really appreciate the small changes in plot and character dynamics that create an identity for each remake and druck is so so good at doing that. mia’s season is lovely and so is matteo’s, as well as the other two. i did not finish amira’s season as wtfock s3 started and i was a little too invested in that haha but i liked what i saw. the mia/noora drama annoyed me but it was okay. i saw it in the way how we all beg for evak/elu/nicotino/etc content in later seasons but then complain when noorhelm/jonas and eva content occur in later seasons, which is weird at best or just fetishization of gay couples at worst. take ur pick. i like it when previous plot lines kind of intertwine into the current ones as it shows that people’s shakes are not temporary and have immense effects on others (which is the point of skam, right?

skam italia, the controversial remake that said bye and then uno-reversed itself (thanks netflix)

- a lot of people don’t like skam italia. it’s understandable, as the actress for sana is not a woc or muslim. however, it is slightly understandable (but not defendable, i was way too disappointed when i found this out) given italy and it’s cultural background. it astonished me that they could even produce an isak remake due to their pretty strong religious beliefs. italy is very much roman catholic, and gay marriage isn’t even legal there (this is the only skam where gay marriage is not legalized). so i give them major props to facing potential backlash in producing s2/marti’s season. it makes sense for there to not be a muslim/woc actress because of the demographics in italy. ww1 and ww2 really spun a number on italy’s race, as many jews and romas as well as pretty much any non-italian ethnicity were kicked out. this creates barriers especially when it comes to hiring a woc actress. skam italia is already breaking barriers when it came to controversial topics (literally all of skam would be controversial in italy’s alt-right view, it seems). tl;dr: kudos for being able to produce a pro-gay show but shame for not being able to hire a woc actess.

- i loved marti’s season as was a fan of the other two seasons. they’re well produced and beautiful and more dramatic than the other skams imo! the soundtrack is absolutely gorgeous.

skam austin, the american cousin no one seems to like that really lives up to the american stereotype

- ok. when i first saw austin/the fact that they made an american remake, i hated it. disgusting. i hâte america as it is. it was cringey, the acting was bad (i’m sorry i’m sorry), and it got rid of the charm that skam had.

- when i watched it a second time around, i changed my mind. i think grace’s season redeemed it a lil bit. it’s living proof that skam remakes must be watched twice or more to fully formulate an opinion. it’s still cringey but i mean, it’s very accurate to american culture. i’m ashamed to say that i, an american, have said many phrases that austin has used.

- skam austin isn’t THAT bad as people make it out to be. i think americans esp are uncomfortable with a skam from their own culture, myself included. and it’s fine to not vibe with it and prefer other skam remakes. i think the actors are okay, better when i saw it the second time, and the editing/music/videography is beautiful (ofc julie andem is a part of it). people give it crap for being american.

skam nl, may she rest in peace or pull an italia and 180 us

- man i was so depressed when i heard that lucas vdh was not getting his season. lucas is downright one of my favorite isak remakes and his story would’ve been so interesting.

- besides that, skam italia has one of the best eva seasons. it is my favorite and is usually a lot of others favorites as well. isa is just so relatable. liv’s season is also incredibly well produced. i didn’t hate noah! it was a miracle come true. he redeemed the william character if only for one remake.

- my one comment/critic isn’t even that serious. it’s just? dutch? it sounds so...weird. i’m a stupid american but i cracked up at things that were definitely NOT jokes because of the language. i’m sorry netherlands/holland i do not mean to laugh.

skam españa, also controversial for good reasons but also conflictingly good

- alright folks. i am confused with skam españa. i don’t know if i love it or like it.

- hear me out. we all know of the controversy with the panphobic comment that nora made. it was stupid and uncalled for and really disrespected the whole pan community of viewers. now, not many people are pan but for a show where an original character (even bech næsheim, love of my life) is canonically pan? it was kind of a slap to the face.

- besides the comment i loved cris’ season. it was refreshing to get an isak season where it was a she, one, and where isak was not living with his eskild but instead had a family. it was also beautifully shot and i love irene with my entire heart.

- that said, i liked eva’s season. nora’s season is interesting. maybe it’s because it’s the first i’ve watched multiple seasons live (españa and france) and have no attention span and is more interested in skam france s5? idk. the clips aren’t really doing it for me. i love the viri clips but the nora clips are eh. she just seems very...in genuine? idk. i also hate miquel get his ugly ass out of here. i can’t fully analyze the season until it’s over but i’m not really interested in it. i also don’t like the noorhelm plot or dynamic at all so that may be it.

wtfock, or another controversial remake that imo shouldn’t be controversial

- wow. i love wtfock. s1 was rocky and i wasn’t sure of how it would be. s2 SLAPPED ME THRU THE ROOF. god i love senne de smet so much. zoë is actually redeemable??? and oh my god milan is my favorite eskild like please adopt me.

- season 3 was the first one i watched live. i arrived to the skam scene late so i didn’t get to experience march madness aka 5 live skams at once and i wish i did. but wow. willem ds and willem h really are one of the main reasons why wtfock s3 did so well. they’re amazing actors with incredibly chemistry.

- the controversy that imo should be controversy: the gay bashing scene. i was surprised at the backlash. people were upset over the fact that they showed such...intense events without immediate remediation. it’s understandable to be mad but? they were criticizing things that had no correlation with the scene, like the willems’ acting or the music picked. it was very wild. they also did a lot of bitching about how lgbt people should see gay bashing because it’ll bring back bad memories and that skam was for the gays only and should cater for only lgbt people. which i heavily disagree with. 1) gay bashing in media is so prevalent and downright important. things can’t be fluffy gay all the time. this happens in real life and does such a great complement to noor’s comment about how no one cares that robbe is gay because it’s 2019. THAT. IS. SO. IMPORTANT. it’s so so important to realize that despite the strides made for lgbt people, gay bashing and violent homophobia. still. exist. also. i would like to direct you to these examples of gay bashing where no one blinked an eye : queer as folk, where s1 justin gets bashed in at his prom and has difficulties drawing; s2 (i think? may be s1) skam españa where lucas rubio gets bashed; skam s4 where even and isak encounter a homophobic dick; these examples are endless. the one thing that miffed me the most was that many critics acted as if they were forced to watch wtfock and therefore criticize its every move. like no? you have a choice? no one is forcing you. quite the opposite! wtfock is geoblocked! you’re actually forcing yourself because you’re taking the time to find illicit resources in order to watch it! alright man i’m done with this rant. many also criticized the writing of the show. it was shaky but watching it a 2nd time, where all clips were released, was so much better when it came to clarity. many ‘poor writing choices’ made sense in the larger picture. again another example that you should watch skam remakes twice to understand the big picture.

- tl;dr wtfock is lovely and should not be criticized for one wrong move.

thank u for hearing me out. i have strong opinions but a frail heart. pls be nice!

#skam #skam france #druck #skam italia #skam espana #wtfock #skam nl #skam austin #evak #elu #sobbe #skam is my love

[lilacprincessofrecovery]

Friends in Dark Places

Dean x friend

Dean and Sam had finished their latest hunt which meant either going to a bar to get wasted and laid not always in the same order OR hiding in the bunker watching tv drinking beer from the local corner side convenient gas station or the local drug store when they need to get to extra band aids and alcohol when Sam was feeling like it would be safer than just running any  dirty ol’ germy beer from God knows where, all over their wounds and Dean needed a razor and/or snacks or some things like that and both would head back to the bunker. This time Dean went on his own to the gas station this time. He was out of pies and snacks. Dean needed his pie.

During this particular hunt there wasnt any stitches involved so no rubbing alcohol needed. He was thinking as he walked around of what to do about the vampire that Sam and he had forgotten to kill out of the coven they just uncovered. Three lives were lost in crossfire. He hated himself for it. 

This man named Dean Michael Winchester (shocking middle name) had never really done much but save the world or his family and innocents. He felt guilt over everyone he lost though. He would drink and try to forget. He was Always chasing a new monster or an easy monster that he had known by then. He never had time enough for himself. He had beautiful glossy hazel eyes, blonde hair, small amount of freckles on his face and had the body of a model nicely aged like a fine wine or cheese! You didn’t really care for wine OR cheese but you didn’t care for either. You just found this man attractive easily in his mid to late. thirties. along the you were watching him too long and dedicated brother and to those few he considered friends, he was loyal but would kill for. Both men had been through and TO Hell and back, been possessed by demons and angels and Lucifer himself and met the grand writer of all the scenes in the world, God. 

You realized you’d been staring too long when he glanced over your way. You pretended to look for a nonexistent earring. Then he went to check out at the register. You got up and acted like nothing was wrong and hurriedly grabbed your things and shuffled out of the store to your car. You saw the man get in a black 67 impala. An old car but it was running good. It was also aged nicely. Like a fine wine too. You tripped over a bike as you were about to enter your car and you looked up and to your embarrassment there was a hand that offered you help with your own goodies from the gas station that had previously been putting stuff in the vintage car. You looked up at the man. “I am Dean. What’s your name? I saw you watching me. You know in the store… and before… the bike that just tripped you….” “I wasn’t looking at you.” She smiled soft and blushes. He shook his head and grinned. “Alright, do i have a sign on my back again? Cuz i swear my brother is gonna get it!” He tried to wipe off the back of his jacket and you smile and say “No… No… just don’t see many people like you around here.” Dean arched a brow crossing his arms, “I’ve been here for years.” You took your bag he held and shook his hand. “I’m y/n…” He looked at your piercing (e/c) eyes and smiles a charismatic Dean Winchester smile, with the charm and all.

 “You made me forget why i even came here in the first place,” Dean lies. He didn’t want to remember the faces of those lives lost. He liked looking at you.  You made him feel safe. Instant friendship, even though you both met just now. 

~3 weeks later~

Dean and you spent a lot of time together. He was afraid to tell you about his hunting lifestyle. Everyone he told got hurt. Especially women. You kept pressing him to go to his house and asking ‘Why haven’t you taken me to your place?’ Eventually Dean tells you, “I think being at your place makes things less complicated.” You started thinking of all the things he would be hiding from you. He was your best friend. Why would he hide anything from you? You stopped contacting him and thats when he had Sam come with him to go check on you. He was afraid someone had kidnapped you, someone had found out about his new friend. You are a great person and the best friend he had ever had.

You started crying in your hallway floor. You felt worthless. You wonder what YOU had done wrong. You wished you could make a friendship without it going horribly or scaring him away. Someone who cared. You thought that was Dean, apparently not.  

Sam knocked on the door and then dean put his hands in his pockets. He was going to tell you about his secret about hunting. He knew it was time. He knew you deserved no secrets. 

You got up and answered the door and slowly turned to sit on the couch. “Dean.” Sam smiled and introduced himself to you. “Im dean's younger brother. Nice to meet you.” You tilted your head and looked at dean. “I thought you didn't want me to see anything about your life.” Dean shook his head. “I was wrong.” He sat on the couch as you wiped your eyes. “It was all a bunch of crap. You are a good friend. I haven't made many in the past decade.” He laughed to himself. “I like hanging out with you.” “You dont think im too young or childish or stupid or…” Dean shook his head. “Nope. Not one bit.” You nodded your head looking at your hands thinking. 

“y/n you didn’t do anything. You got it? It’s me who had been keeping secrets of who i am. You were out and open with me from the beginning…” She tilted her head. “What are….” “Shhhh…. Ok. My brother and I are hunters.” “Its ok just dont invite ME.” Sam ran a hand through his hair. “No…. i dont think you get it… we hunt demons and angels and ghosts, wendigos. You name it. We’ve fought it. Hey you have made my brother happy. Thanks.” 

Dean kneeled next to you and took your hands and looked up to your eyes from the floor you on the couch. “Is it real dean? You dont have to lie to me.” Dean nods. “Its real sweetheart. Ever since we were born. And we live in a bunker thats why you havent been able to come over. Thats why i dont want you to be worried or wanna come over. I think we just need to go over there right now and know that you are awesome!” Dean winked. He quickly hugged you. “We both worried each other bat shit crazy. But thats what friends do. Make each other wanna jump off some cliffs together. We’ve both had our demons.”

You had always told him everything about your past and you loved spending time with him. Now you knew about his as more weeks go on you both learned more and more about each other. Best friend award.

for my sister.

[rogueshipagogo]

ppl have been asking me my opinions on space channel 5 vr... and i guess since i bought a vr headset off craigslist just so i could play it and speedrun it before work the day it came out... i should talk abt it now... i dont rly think i’ll be able to separate it into ‘good’ and ‘bad’ things i think i’m just going to do a rambly stream of consciousness bc i have a headache... but i DO have good things to say abt this game... so st.... sta stay t tune  d

right off the bat, the thing i appreciate most abt this game- i like that space channel 5 vr doesnt have cash grab vibes. i Do genuinely believe that they Wanted to make this game For the people who are still obsessed with it, and that they ultimately did what they set out to do when they intended to scale certain aspects of the series up conceptually to match the way the fandom perceives it nowadays. but like i’ve said before... i’m not going to Disagree with the very common conclusion that it Needed to be longer, or at Least more intricate plot-wise. one of my fun and fresh excuses for sc5vr being as short as it is is because you arent really supposed to be playing vr games for too long anyways, its really disorienting and kinda painful, but even that doesn’t account for why so much of the game that we got is a rehash of old settings, concepts, songs, and characters. [i dont even have a problem with reusing old songs, i just think the ones they chose ended up being misleading]

for example i think it makes sense that the first report is a remake of the first games first report on the surface, it’s meant to take you back to the way the first game felt and give you an idea of what it means that the games classic scenery can be rendered in actual high quality detail now [same with the recurrence of events like encountering the space pirates in the asteroid belt/the last battle against a villain being singing to it about what it’s done wrong], but i really thought, like, report 1 was going to end up being a simulated scenario for the benefit of lou and kee’s training... which i dont think ended up being the case??? i think they really did write ‘ok here you are in the first game’s setting again, fighting the old enemies again, because... :^) ok have fun playing report 2!’

and then whats report 2... you fight another old boss from the first game... but theres Still no clear villain or motivation for anything thats happening... and there wont be until like... basically the end of the game...

like, glitter is a really cute character, but its kind of underwhelming that shes just a random citizen who was kidnapped by an entity that we NEVER LEARN ANYTHING ABOUT... like part 1 was extremely notable for being about corporate greed and corruption, part 2 honestly wasnt that political in comparison but at least made you do a think wrt purge’s motivation and his methods, and this game just has a plot device that feels like it’ll do smth but then ends up not doing anything beyond what we already learned about it from the information on its character bio before the game was out. if it turns out that cell x is actually relevant again in a future entry in the franchise and they do have a more developed concept for what cell x Is in mind, i’ll do an entire backflip, but for now its just chalked up to being the result of More Space Hijinks that dont need to be explained

ESPECIALLY WITH ALL OF THE ALLUSIONS TO CELL X BEING AN ENTITY THAT FEEDS OFF OF DANCE ENERGY... it had me thinking that there would have to be some New Method of fighting it off that didn’t just lend it more power in the process, but nah apparently just tacking on the disclaimer ‘*this dance energy is not for glitter’ is enough to turn it from smth it can consume for power into big attacks you can use to kill it... like honestly it sounds like im asking for a lot from a game that has Never made too much sense, but considering that in part 2 they could add details like ‘oh didnt you know purge can open pocket dimensions? ulala is capable of manifesting tangible dance energy and the only other person who can do that is purge???’, its not like they havent come up with weird new shit for dance energy to do within the plot before. they just didnt do it in this game fsr

like did anyone else think that cell x/glitter was going to be the result of tossing purge out into deep space and him encountering the sc5 universe’s equivalent of an eldritch alien creature, smth more bestial than morolians?? even if purge wasnt part of it, when you say ‘uh oh, this guy Eats this society’s only source of energy!!!’ i expect the stakes to get HIGH, and i want the ramifications of it to be kinda STARTLING, because blank wanted money and purge wanted to ritualistically end the world but something this near to an ecological disaster that would force an entire paradigm shift hasn’t occurred yet in the series?? its totally new!!! there’s a lot they could do with this but OH DONT WORRY ABOUT IT EVERYONE ulala knows how to make dance energy kill cell x instead of feed it she’s got this we’re good no need to investigate more into all that

i can’t explain why the game is like this. and i dont expect grounding to address it in any meaningful way either. i’m sure they’re Aware of these complaints by now- the game reviewing community has Not been kind to sc5vr specifically due to all of these shortcomings [i didnt even touch on the issues with motion sensing and how many of the games mechanics were removed in favor of smth presumably easier to program yet much less satisfying, like Secret Moves just being mini quicktime events and Turning Your Ratings Into Stars just being replaced with the standard Three Strikes You’re Out method of scoring], but the pr team still seems very enthusiastic abt the game and is still promising dlc and potentially even more games in the series after this one- heres hoping that they’ll at least take these grievances to heart and consider making the experience not only more accessible [aka it will... go back to being a rhythm game with controller input.... and not... an exclusive vr experience...], but also as immersive and detailed as the old games, with less reused plot beats. i can let some of it off the hook in this game simply because i’m aware that it began its life as a tech demo that was only supposed to be that initial first report from the first game But Happening All Around You!, but i Really dont think they could get away with doing this little to expand upon the groundwork set by the first two games again. not with the way people remember part 2 being such a vast upgrade from part 1... the bar had been set so high that this just felt like a huge backslide into something even sillier and harder to take seriously than part 1 before we had any idea what kind of staying power the franchise would have as a hallmark of sega’s quirky antics. like... this game is what i think space channel 5 looks like to people who don’t understand the appeal of the first two games. and that scares me

but i guess for the most part, aside from wishing they had done more to revitalize the setting and the lore of the sc5 universe itself, im kind of glad it didnt do a lot to change the existing storylines the characters have kinda forged for themselves- here i was stressing out that they would pull out some plot development that would utterly and drastically change the way we talked abt the series for the rest of time, but so little happened and so little was added to the bank of sc5 lore that we can kind of all just carry on as usual and keep having the same headcanons we always had.

BUT!!! there ARE a lot of cute little details here and there that make the experience feel wholesome and like i said not an utter cashgrab- like so many of the character profiles referencing previous games [all of the references to npcs in this game being relatives of the npcs of the last games made me lose it] and how often ulala changes her expressions up and looks right at you and talks to you. the new music they wrote for the game also all slaps and everyones redesigns [if they got a redesign... rip pudding] are stunning

one of the most important things they did in this game was give a nice sort of Update to every character.... for example explaining that ulala isn’t a rookie reporter any more like she was in the first 2 games, that she’s moved up to being in charge of training new channel 5 reporters, and that while pudding is still somewhat stuck on her rivalry with ulala her career isn’t stagnant either, she was just cast in a romcom series as the lead... which is really nice considering how in the past she was portrayed as somewhat of a loser with almost no remaining fans left from her idol years

and you knew i was going to bring up jaguar at some point HES ALL OVER THIS GAME AND IT LITERALLY MADE ME FEEL LIKE MY LIFE WAS WORTH POWERING THROUGH THESE LAST FEW YEARS AND ALSO LIKE IM A GENIUS FOR SPENDING SO LONG POSTING EVERY SINGLE DAY ‘NO REALLY, HE’S THE SECONDARY PROTAGONIST OF THE STORY, ITS ABOUT CHANNEL 5 AS A COMPANY AND THEIR IMPACT ON EVERYONE WHO HAS EVER ENCOUNTERED THEM AND THAT INCLUDES JAGUAR AS WELL AS ULALA HES INTEGRAL TO THE PLOT BC SHE WOULDNT BE ALIVE IF IT WEREN’T FOR HIM’ i feel like it’s really incredible how in this game he has genuinely nice energy and doesnt withhold praise from ulala just to be helpful in a mysterious way later and he like HAS FRIENDS now. like consider how he went from disgraced former ch5 employee who got mad every time he saw them, to kidnapped robot henchman kinda humbled by the fact that now the turns tabled and ulala had to rescue Him, and now 3 years later his bio is all about how he has a new tv show thats super popular and he has a new entourage of ladies who he considers his '’’’’’comrades’’’’’’’ within the station he founded??? AND AFTER 20 YEARS THEY WERE FINALLY ABLE TO GIVE HIS MODEL JUICY ASS CHEEKS??????????????? NO MORE PANCAKE BOOTY???? THE BOY HAD A GLOWUP AND NO I WONT STOP TALKING ABOUT IT

WHEN I SAY MEOW MATCH THE POSE MOTHERFUCKERS THIS BLONDE BASTARD GETS TO BE IN CHARGE OF THE HUNDRED STAGE BATTLE NOW TOO THIS IS THE YEAR OF THE SPACE PIRATES BAYBEE

#its almost 4 am. idk i will probably have more to say tomorrow. my head still hurts #the galaxy depends on my funky moves

[caracalfeather]

WARNING- Cats and Birds is a mob AU fanfiction of the Arcana game, and is not meant for young audiences and is not meant to offend anyone. Some writing choices were made so characters are out of their canon way of acting and thinking. Please do not be offended by character choices made by the authors and content creators, this story was made for fun and in the way we wanted it to be. The story was not hijacked by any of the authors to make any ships or characters overshadow any other. All content contained in this story has been agreed upon and accepted by all parties in it’s creation.

TW- Cats and Birds contains scenes that may not be suitable with some readers, including themes of violence, smoking/drug use, sex, cursing and various other strong themes. Special warnings for scenes will be posted with chapters. Proceed with caution and Reader’s discretion is advised.

9

The next morning, Rose shivered against ilya, waking up to a cold room. She wrapped herself in the blanket.

Julian stirred awake, he just laid there and didn’t bother to move, the barking had stopped sometime in the night so Julian wasn’t completely sleepless.

Morning darling.” Rose purred and kissed his neck, smiling “You were rough last night.”

“Hmmmm….you think?” He sighed, caressing her face.

“It was good. But that nickname wasnt your best idea. It was cute though.” She sighed

Julian blushed and hid underneath his pillow. Damn her. “Why can’t you just leave me alone?!??” He groaned into his mattress, her haunting was becoming increasingly annoying as long as that goddamned photo wasn’t burned to ash.

“D-did i do something again?” she looked at him, her smile dropping from her face.

Julian sat up in a hurry and cupped Rose’s face. “No! No darling! It’s not you! God it could never be you.” He sighed, “I think I’m being haunted is all.”

“.......” She looked at him, skeptical and stood up “Im...going to shower…” She picked up her clothes and mumbled.

With rage boiling in his blood Julian dug through the waste basket and tore the photo up. “Good riddance to you, you're ruining everything!” He shouted, the pieces fluttering to the floor. He tore the photo in a few big chunks but Julian was more disappointed in himself more than anyone.

As Rose showered, Plume was downstairs making plans for Rose's next trip heist. It would be a little longer than her last.

Julian was on torture that morning, he slipped on his black gloves, and faced the cell. His mind was not in the right place but a job had to be done.

“Alright. Our queen is heading out for a month or two to chicago. She’s going on a supply run and needs a companion.” Plume set down the map of the route as a few guys volunteered. Meanwhile, Rose was toweling off and packing her bags, mumbling to herself and trying to think if she’d done something to upset ilya. She hurt on the inside and wished she could just disappear into her bed.

He opened the cell and was met by two brown eyes. The woman who was handcuffed was big and she looked….really familiar.

The woman looked up, “look….if you’re here to torture me I already told the big fella that it was all a misunderstanding-“ her eyes flashed and she laughed. “Noooooo…..yes? It can’t be???”

Julian looked into the eyes of...Bèatrice.

“Bèa….what the hell are you doing here?” Julian growled.

Bea spat blood into the concrete. “I could say the same to you, you son of a bitch. We all thought you DIED.”

Julian could not handle this today, he rubbed his temples, “but that’s not why you're here.”

“Right…..I’m here because I was looking for Madeve your dog.” She explained, “he’s been getting out a lot recently and I’ve been helping get him home.”

He nodded and Bèa continued.

“What would she say if she knew you were here? Would she ever forgive you-“

Her words were cut short by a bullet to the head. Julian held the gun with shaking hands and stepped out from the cell. He was probably going to get a scolding from Plume, but it was worth not having to deal with this matter anymore.

Plume looked up from the map at the sound and growled “Damn it. Alright everyone, prep the queen and get ilya.”

Like clockwork Ilya was dragged to Plume. Julian with a blood splattered face was so done with everything and everyone.

“Who the fuck did you kill now you usesless dog?” Plume hissed, tossing the map into a bag and glaring at him.

“A trespasser.” Julian hissed crossing his arms over his chest.

“Whatever. Rose is leaving for a few months.” He pushed Julian into a chair “We’re getting her things ready.”

“I take it, I'm going with her.” He sighed, “I am pretty sure I’m the last person she wants to see currently.”

“It's up to you. She’s getting her clothes from your room right now.” He mumbled. Upstairs, rose was bending down to grab her shirt, pausing as she noticed torn pieces of paper on the floor. Carefully she looked at them, her heart sinking slightly as she saw a beautiful face she’d only seen in magazines. Her mind began to wander as she put the paper in her pocket. What was he doing with her torn picture? Was it an infatuation? Maybe it was just remnants of an old magazine…

Julian found Rose in his room. He smiled, wiping some stray blood from his cheek. “Well, I took care of the trespasser.”

“Huh? Oh...thanks.” Rose put her jacket on and fixed her hair, unimpressed.

“Did I piss you off again?” Julian frowned, “Rose, this is becoming a pattern and I would like for it not too.”

“No, I'm just busy and sore...sorry.” She sighed, going to the door, the ripped pieces in her pocket.

Julian sighed and began packing himself, meeting Rose out in the garage when he was done. “So we’re going all the way across the country. For supplies. “

“We? You're coming with me?” She put her bags in the back as plume nodded “Yes. and You two are fetching more artillery from our Chicago pride since we can't ship them anymore.”

“Perfect.” He smiled, tossing his bag in along with Rose’s. “Are we going in disguise this time?” His smile widened into a mischievous grin.

“Yep. Once you're in the city rose will be dressed as Mistress thorne and you” Plume tossed lingerie looking close at him “Will be her collared sub Thomas.” Plume laughed “No one questions the mistress.” It was a joke, but he didn't doubt ilya would play the part anyway.

Julian laughed, “ha! Good thing it’s a long drive it will give me plenty of time to get into character.”

“You'll keep your mouth shut.” Rose mumbled and got into the driver's seat.

“As my Mistress commands.” Julian bowed dramatically and got into the car.

Blasting music, rose took off to the highway, opening the window as they began the trip.

“The city seems strangely quiet today.” Julian sighed staring out the window, “we haven’t gone on a long trip together in a very long time.”

“Yeah… almost a year now.” she mumbled and glanced at him “New york last time.”

Julian chuckled, “That’s Right! That mission was an absolute disaster….but it was fun. And you had fun fucking me into oblivion.”

“Mhm. next time i'll gag and peg you with a strap.” She weaved her way through the streets, listening to an old rock song.

He unbuttoned his shirt slightly, his charismatic smirk on full display. “Just hearing you say that makes me hungry and excited.” He traced a gentle line from her cheek down her neck.

She slapped his hand away and huffed “I'm not touching you until we get to chicago.” Her voice growled “Then I'm going to make sure you submit and learn your place.”

Julian held up his hands in full surrender, shutting up. He instead brought his attention to the passing streets.

The ride was a long 10 hours until they finally stopped at an inn. It was pitch black outside as they got a room, Rose spent another hour nursing a blunt on the balcony. Her mind was full of memories of old lovers. Each had ended up leaving her for Hollywood models and performers, saying they were better than her. They had called her an alley cat, a mangy stray. And after finding that picture, rose was sure ilya was fantasizing about being with a performer. Someone prettier and more talented. She finished smoking and dropped her head, looking at old scars on her arms.

Julian wrapped his arms around her and hummed into her neck. “Someone is in the pits of despair” he chuckled, “ I thought I was going to get punished once we arrived.”

“In chicago. You have 15 more hours.” She looked at him “Cant a girl smoke in the night in peace?” She looked at the dark night.

He let her go, “alright I get it. You're upset I’ll leave you be.” He retreated back into the room. Mulling over what he did this time. Each answer leading to the one thing he had been fighting these past 2 weeks.

“It doesn't feel good, does it?” She whispered and looked at the moon “Gods, my papi would kill me for being this petty.”

Julian heavily sighed, “you think I haven’t been suffering? Your suffering makes me suffer! And aside from that, I’m still just suffering.”

Rose went into the bathroom to shower, sitting on the tiles as warm water hit her back. She got lost in thought, a few tears mixing with the water.

Julian flopped back on the bed. Rubbing his eyes in frustration. He wished that bullet had killed him, it would spare a lot of feelings and memories that were now causing issues.

Rose came back to the bed, laying down with her back to ilya, browsing her phone quietly and yawning.

He looked over at her, “I’m sorry.” He muttered.

“For what?” She mumbled, setting down her phone on the nightstand.

“For everything.” He sighed, “I’m sorry I stumbled upon your branch in Spain, I’m sorry you had to save me while I was bleeding out. I’m sorry I have made life so much worse for you. Rose I love you, but there are things that….haunt me. They have come back and it has affected our relationship, and I’m sorry!!! So so sorry!!”

“....Believe it or not… You're the best thing that's happened to me ilya.” She mumbled, looking at the wall “And i know there's shit that both of us deal with…. But i don't regret saving you. Or falling in love.”

Julian shook his head, “what if I regret being saved?”

“NO.” she sat up and glared at him “You shut the fuck up right now ilya. Don't ever say that.”

“...I CAN’T HELP IT ROSE!” He shouted sitting up. “I have been suppressing so much pain!”

“THEN WHY CAN'T YOU JUST LET IT OUT?! IF NOT TO ME THEN TO SOMEONE OR SOMETHING ELSE?!” She got out of bed, her eyes stinging as she went and locked herself in the bathroom.

Julian punched the wall and fell back into the bed. Rubbing his eyes, he tore his eye patch off and rubbed his bad eye. Trying to prevent everything from coming out.

#the arcane game #arcana apprentice #the arcana #the arcane julian #julian devorak #arcana #the arcane mc #the arcana julian #rose sagenea #rose the apprentice #lyra the apprentice #cats and birds #mob au #caracaltalks

[crqstalite]

WIP Wednesday

so i ended up being tagged three times today, by @that-wasnt-so-bad for scrap pile + WIP wednesday, as well as @ljandersen for scrap pile as well. unfortunately i end up being one of the most frugal writers you’ll meet, mostly everything i write ends up somewhere in a story, and i’m either powering through chapters worth of writing in hours or have nothing i haven’t published. but, thankfully i did actually have a piece i’ve been procrastinating on for a while (nearly scrapped it, so i think it counts), so here’s what i have.

pre-ME2, post ME1 shore leave. shenko...sort of. word count: 1808.

-

"So...Commander. Is this a temporary station or do you live here full time?"

Kodelyn raises an eyebrow at the question, still stretching out a few muscles in her back. Who knew getting Reaper bits rained down on you would have lasting effects? Two weeks later, she wasn't really supposed to be up and running yet, but Chakwas and the other doctors on the Citadel couldn't keep her down for long. No rigorous activity, they said, exasperated with her after only a few days, you'll pull your stitches and you'll be right back here, commander.

She was lucky they didn't send a nurse to live at her apartment for the next few months. Or however long it would be until they'd lay off and she could get back where she belonged -- on the bridge of the Normandy.

But for now, she was on medical leave. And medical leave meant taking it easy. Which she rarely did, without throwing a literal fit. Which also meant living on the Citadel for the time being because she was still on call, technically. Leave it to Anderson to keep her in the loop without her saying a word. She couldn't ask for better friend.

So here she is, walking through the hospital lobby with Lieutenant Alenko and her duffel over her shoulder, knocking into her hip withe every few steps. Why it hadn't been anyone else to retrieve her, she isn't sure. Possibly because he was the last human on her squad after the investigation into Saren. Possibly he came here on his own volition, as he had for a while after she'd been admitted. But that didn't mean she didn't enjoy this particular company. Still, she's uneasy with her eyes trained on him. Not entirely sure what the night just before they landed on Ilos even really meant, what to think about it. Fraternization was one of the many things she could be tried for, should the Alliance decide to press charges for the fact she stole the Normandy . It'd still meant a lot to her, even if she wasn't sure how to acknowledge it.

He'd asked for it not to change anything. She respects that, of course. But at the same time, maybe she wants things to change. After so long pushing people away, maybe she wanted someone to be by her side as more than a friend. He'd be a welcome one.

Then again she was the single worst person to be keeping secrets with. And the part of her that is the model soldier, the one who could be relied on for her integrity, eats away at her for those thoughts alone.

Would it be so bad to be happy?

So for now, she doesn't think about it, "I have -- had an apartment here. So do my siblings. I think I told you my parents still live on Earth?" A nod from him as the doors part for them out to the open area in front of the hospital's ground floor, "Between all my different postings and everything with the 'Reapers', it's easier to have a home here, be in the hub of everything and not have to commute back and forth every couple of months."

"Right, of course," He answers, turning his attention out to the Presidium and where parts still smolder with debris among the once green nature. His tone softens, "Makes plenty of sense. Uh, where did you live, if you don't mind me asking?"

"Further down in the lower wards of Zakera, actually. They tried to shove me up here with all the uptight brass when I earned the Star of Terra, but I wasn't really interested. Siblings live down there, and with C-Sec stretched thin I couldn't really leave them alone. But now?" She waves her hand out over towards the lower courtyard, "Now they managed to force me up here because of leave, and because somehow they knew that my old place got destroyed. Ease of access for the doctors in case something goes wrong. Better for Alliance to keep eyes on me.  Apparently becoming the first human spectre and saving the Citadel earns you a few perks, lots of suspicion, but perks nonetheless."

He chuckles in a way that makes her feel oddly at ease. More than she had in months, really, "Think I'd call this way more than just a perk, Commander."

She bites her lip to keep from grinning, before it creeps into her expression anyways. It was so easy to end up in a good mood with him around, should've been illegal, "Maybe. I still think a whole 'luxury apartment' is a little much. Lali says I can see the whole Presidium from the living room window."

"You haven't been up yet?" He asks, surprised while he presses the button to call the elevator, "It is your place isn't it, ma'am?"

"It is. But considering I was in the hospital for 'so long', I just let her move everything in. Seemed a whole lot easier than coming into a cold apartment with boxes everywhere," She shrugs, and winces immediately after as she shifts her elbow back. She can see his hand flex out of the corner of her eye, probably unconsciously because he'd been their field medic during their hunt for Saren. She offers him a smile instead, if not to comfort his worry than to ease her own pain, "Got plans for the rest of the day, Lieutenant?"

"No ma'am. Any reports Councilor Anderson needed from me are done. Less medical leave than it is a glorified shore leave now," He responds, stepping into the elevator after her, "Not that it isn't appreciated."

"Wait," She says, his hand hovering over the control panel as he turns to her. Kodelyn hesitates for a moment, wondering if she was about to make a horrible mistake or overstep the blurry lines they've drawn in the sand, "Would you -- would you want to come up to the apartment? Far as I'm concerned you spent more time in my hospital room than you did actually enjoying the time off. I could...I don't know make lunch?"

"Commander -- Shepard..." She can see the gears turning in his head, working through problem and solutions faster than she can try to figure out what he's thinking about. She'd seen it the few times she'd flirted with him outright on the SR-1.

"I just offered lunch, not my hand in marriage, Alenko," His cheeks flush at the notion while she leans over to hit the button for the part of the Presidium her new-home-away-from-home-that-got-destroyed-when-a-Reaper-attacked-but-apparently-they-don't-exist was on. Trying not to make it obvious that even she was reconsidering her offer, she steamrolls ahead, " 'Course if you're busy or you don't want to come up, I'll understand."

There's a long pause that she wants to fill with anything but silence, yet holds her tongue to keep from rambling before she says something she wouldn't want him hearing. The one time she wants her omni-tool to ping like it always does in the worst of times, it's surprisingly quiet. Thanks a lot, Liara, she thinks, You don't need anything from me now?

"That'd be nice, Shepard," He finally answers, and a weight is lifted off her chest, smiling again. Yet another thought runs through her head as she does pull up her omni-tool and scrolls through the messages from her sister. Had she gone shopping, or was she promising him noodles from down in the Wards?

Was Lali over right now?

She'd never been that out of the loop before, especially with a place she was trusting her security to for the time being. It's definitely unsettling, and shakes her a bit. However, she closes out the orange and white UI, deciding she'd work around any obstacle there was to this idea. The Council had been one of them to Saren, but she'd managed to bring him down. Finding something to eat with the Lieutenant had to be easier than that, "Got a preference?"

"Ordering in, ma'am?" He asks a question to answer her own.

"No, cooking if my sister did her job," He looks at her sideways, furrowing his brow as if disbelieving her statement, "What? You think that's outside my expertise, Alenko?" She asks, gently nudging his shoulder. She really would've done it harder if her own wasn't already sliding out of it's socket, or at least it feels like it. So many loose screws in her body right now, she wasn't even entirely functional.

"Of course not. You're a talented woman, Shepard. I didn't think it extended to the kitchen, is all," He answers, his tone changing to match her's. His expression changes to one of bashfulness, setting something aflame inside her with the compliment, "Not that you shouldn't be capable of anything you put your mind to, ma'am."

"Stop that, you'll make me blush." She says, trying not to reflexively turn from him, her cheeks burning. He returns it with a grin, and she steps out into the cool air of the Presidium.

Apartment ('luxury', she'd never get over that part. Thankfully as soon as she returned to service on the Normandy she could let it collect dust and not think about how much this cost -- let her parents have it) number 630. She gets turned around for a bit in the new, very shiny complex, trying to keep her head down from anyone who might recognize her and attempting to find the home herself. Lieutenant Alenko is a little more starstruck than she is, to where she finds him two hallways down from her new place admiring the view. They stay for a moment, watching skycars fly by. This is the time that Kodelyn finally sees the entirety of the damage that Sovereign had done, and it throws her for a loop. Within the past two weeks, Citadel forces had been able to do quite a bit of cleaning up, but it was still obvious the station had been shaken.

She'd prevented the worst of it. But people had still lost their lives.

And here she was, still here.

There's a beat of silence before she feels his hand grasp her's by her side. She flinches, "You...did all you could, Shepard. There are a lot of people who have their lives because of you."

"Probably. Doesn't keep me from feeling bad though," His hand drops back to his side, to which she frowns but turns away from the window. If that was going to be a problem, she could at least drop the curtain in front of her own foretold windows in her apartment, "Are you still coming in for lunch, or should I leave you out here?"

He follows wordlessly after her while she waves her omni-tool over the key reader on the door. Flashing green, it slides open.

#mass effect #mass effect oc #oc #original character #kodelyn velasquez #f!shenko #wip wednesday