#and i think actors in the closet should still be allowed to take on roles they can relate to and that are important to the

[sevlgi]

hit and run

requested: no

group: blackpink

pairing: rosé x fem!reader

genre: a  shit ton of angst, some fluff

contents: idol!rosé, actress!y/n, closeted!rosé, costar!au, slight enemies-to-lovers, unhappy endings because i’m a bitch, a lot of attempted cinematic parallels, italicized dialogue is when they’re speaking as their characters

warnings: slight homophobia

synopsis: There’s absolutely no reason for you to get involved with a costar who you should hate by all accounts. But of course, you manage to forget that love is usually more like a hit-and-run than a cruise ship. 

a/n: while i was writing this, i  imagined this as what happened before rosie sang “gone”, so maybe you can think of it like that too? i’m honestly so terrified of this flopping lmao... 

for a little background on the film: Y/N plays Luna, a pirate captain who unknowingly sacrificed her family in order to have the power to fight the regime that Rosé’s character Helen is a part of. Helen approaches Luna, determined to help her bring justice, but Helen is unable to choose between the benefits of staying with the regime, and following what she knows is right and destroying her life as a result.

word count: 6.8k

The last thing you want to hear on the morning of your first script reading is that the actress playing your love interest in the film has changed.

“What?” you say loudly, straightening in the backseat. Your manager frowns, and you sit obediently, but the scowl doesn’t leave your face. “What do you mean the actress changed?”

“Yeah. She had to leave the movie at the last minute,” he sighs.

Sooyoung was chosen alongside you, after lengthy interviews testing whether the two of you would be able to handle your characters’ dynamic. It took weeks for the director to decide that you were the pair that she wanted, so the news that you’ll be meeting your costar for the first time in front of paparazzi is quite the shock to your system. “Shit. Then who’s the replacement?”

Your manager presses his lips together firmly before answering, “Park Chaeyoung. She’s an idol.”

You groan and slump down again. “Great. Another idol actress? Please don’t tell me that this is her first role too. Oh god, is she straight?”

“Yes to all of the above,” Chan says tensely.

Maybe you’re being dramatic, but it’s honestly a big deal. It’s the first leading role you’ve bagged, especially in a mainstream LGBTQ+ movie, and Sooyoung was the best costar you could’ve picked. You’ve never met Park Chaeyoung before, and you already know that all your plans are going to be messed up.

Chan pulls the car into the parking lot, and you scowl when you realize that most of the paparazzi have arrived. “We’re going around the back. Y/N, promise me one thing: don’t make a scene, okay?” your manager pleads. “I’m not happy about it either, but Chaeyoung has a good reputation. You’ll just ruin yours if you blow up at her.”

“I promise,” you answer through gritted teeth. You slip through the open side door as soon as you get out of the car, ignoring Chan’s call after you to have a good time like you would’ve.

To make matters worse, you don’t even get a chance to talk to the director or Chaeyoung before you’re swarmed by a crowd of reporters, even if that ‘talk’ would’ve consisted of more yelling than anything. “Y/N, Y/N!”

“Okay, let her up!” Seulgi shouts, pushing her way through. She grips your arm to lead you towards the cast table, whispering under her breath, “I’ll explain later. But just run with it, okay?”

You have plenty of problems with idol actresses, but you’ve never been inclined to say all those problems to their faces. Until now, that is.  Now, you’re sitting shoulder-to-shoulder with a girl you know has absolutely no credentials to be playing the other role in your upcoming movie, resisting the urge to ball your script up and throw it in her face.

There’s nothing wrong with Park Chaeyoung as a person-- she’s admittedly gorgeous, probably sweet, and you’re sure she isn’t a bad actress in any sense. The only thing wrong with the situation is that she’s painfully straight and auditioning to be your love interest in what might be Korea’s first mainstream lesbian film, and that you have never spoken to her before.

Chaeyoung avoids your stare with a clenched jaw, and in normal circumstances, you would already be apologizing profusely for making her uncomfortable. In this circumstance, though, your obvious grudge against her only contributes to the dynamic her character is supposed to have with yours.

“Miss Kang, is it true that the actors were only picked today?” 

The director grimaces, and the both of you turn to look at the cameras flashing by the sides of the room. It was never the plan to allow paparazzi to sit in on the first reading that you and Chaeyoung would be doing together, especially since it’s true that Chaeyoung was only chosen hours ago, after the original actress bailed. Even though your grudge should be against the girl who left, it’s easier to glare at the one sitting next to you. “Not exactly. Y/N has been confirmed for the role of Luna for months, but we recently added Chaeyoung as Helen. But we can assure that their chemistry will be wonderful,” Seulgi reassures the audience. What a lie.

Yet another reporter calls out, “How much of the script will we be seeing today, and when will the trailer be released?”

“Since the casting was changed today, the trailer has been delayed,” Seulgi says. You can hear the panic in her voice, and clear your throat. “As for the script… we’re only doing part of one scene that will show up in the trailer today, so we’ll just let them begin. Y/N?”

As you take a sip of water to prepare yourself, you almost hope that Chaeyoung messes up her part. It would be bad press, sure, and it would only contribute to Seulgi’s stress, but it would be satisfying for her to realize that she doesn’t deserve her part. She’s just an idol, after all, and she’s taking away representation from the people who need it.

“Are you saying you’re better than me?” you begin, your voice ice-cold.

You watch Chaeyoung’s throat bob, but her voice is steady and clear when she says her line. “No! I’m not saying that I’m better than you… but by all accounts, there’s no way you should have this power.”

“Would you be less scared then?” You pause, watch as Chaeyoung’s expression changes to the panic that her character’s would. “I’m kidding, Helen. I did things to get these powers, things that I’m not proud of.”

“Why would you do that? You’re strong… you don’t need them.”

“I’ve never been-- shit.” The tips of your ears start to burn, and suddenly, your lines are swimming before your eyes. Maybe all your hoping and wishing that Chaeyoung messes up has reflected onto you instead.

She attempts to remind you, “I haven’t always--”

“I know,” you hiss, but your voice is too loud in the silent room. Chaeyoung turns bright pink, too, but you still can’t seem to say your lines out loud. Shit, shit, shit--

“I’m just trying to help,” she sighs.

You whip your head to glare at her, and she winces at the daggers you send in her direction. “Shut the hell up--”

“Okay, the script reading will end here,” Seulgi announces loudly, and you bite down hard on your tongue. You don’t dare to look at the other cast members, don’t dare to think about how they must be guilting you for cutting their PR short. “Thank you everyone, please leave with security.”

You stay in your seat, staring at your script with burning eyes until you feel a hand on your shoulder and jolt. “Hey,” Chaeyoung reminds you, “we can leave.”

“Don’t touch me” is your only answer, and you storm out of the room. Alone.

The next time you see Chaeyoung is the next day, at a script-reading that the paparazzi knows nothing about. (You do see a friend request from a Park Chaeyoung the night before, but you ignore it.)

Seulgi attempts a smile, but it doesn’t hide the bags under her eyes. She claps and raises her voice to get the cast’s attention. “Okay, everyone. We didn’t get what we wanted yesterday, but that’s fine. Um… let’s try yesterday’s scene from Chaeyoung’s part, okay? From ‘you don’t need them’.”

Chaeyoung nods. “You’re strong… you don’t need them,” she starts, worry tinging into her voice.

“I haven’t always been strong,” you reply, your voice harsher than it should be just to stop yourself from messing up again.

“Still. Powers aren’t everything, Luna, it’s too hard to have them.”

You sigh. “Newsflash, princess. It’s harder not to.”

“But--” Chaeyoung interjects.

“Did you ever think,” you cut her off, “that I didn’t care that it’d be hard? Did you ever think that the rest of us are tired of you abusing the thing that you’re given, but we have to fight for?”

You look right to Seulgi once you finish, ignoring the part underneath that says you should look to Chaeyoung at the end of the scene. The director smiles anyway. “That was great, you two. I think you capture the tension perfectly, which is a relief.”

You fight the urge to laugh. “I know that changing our main cast so close to the actual production is really difficult,” Seulgi sighs. “And I’m really sorry to inconvenience you all. The schedule is really squished now, and we just have to work through it. Chaeyoung, Y/N, all I ask is that you try to work together, okay? I know you’ll be amazing together.”

Chaeyoung speaks, possibly for the first time besides her lines. “Of course, Ms. Bae. I’ll do my best.”

“I’m sure. We have to cut this short, again, but we’re scheduled for costume fitting right now,” Seulgi groans. “We have to at least get the outfits for the trailer to fit. Sorry, everyone. Down the hall, okay?”

Of course, you and Chaeyoung have to get fit together. The only sound in the hallway is that of her heels clicking on the wood, and you resist the urge to shout at her to stop. Luckily, you arrive in the fitting room before you can.

Your eyes widen at the dress hanging there. It’s incredible, even without the layers that would support the skirt-- you can’t even imagine how the beading and pink silk would look on Chaeyoung. Ethereal, probably. “Y/N, yours is here,” the costume director laughs, beckoning you over.

Even though your own outfit isn’t nearly as opulent, you can’t help but admire the gold detailing on the cuffs and the tailoring. “Thank god yours doesn’t take so much sewing,” the director grunts, pinning the side. “You know, the two of you are going to look fantastic in these, even if we have to spill all that blood on them to shoot the trailer.”

“Sooyoung would’ve looked better.” It’s mean, and it’s a low blow, but the director doesn’t take your bait.

She pokes her head out to where Chaeyoung’s being fitted. “Now? Okay, Y/N, go out there. We need to take a look at the two of you together.”

You can’t stop your jaw from dropping when you see Chaeyoung. She’s all candyfloss hair and gold adorning her tiny waist, and in all her glory, you can’t stop yourself from thinking that maybe she was made for the role. “You look really good,” she compliments softly.

Nodding stiffly, you turn for the seamstresses. Chaeyoung moves to fiddle with her gloves when she realizes that you have absolutely no interest in continuing the conversation.

Well, if there’s one thing you can nitpick about her, it isn’t how she looks; she looks absolutely perfect for the role of Princess Helen, maybe even more perfect than Sooyoung. 

One of the costume directors steps in. “Okay, you can get changed out, but you have to come back in a few hours,” she tells you. “We have to make a lot of changes, then fit you again.”

You step down from the podium, going towards your dressing room without a second thought until Chaeyoung calls for you. “Y/N? Do you want to have lunch later? In your trailer or something?”

“Sure,” you answer, barely glancing back. When you do, all you see is her with shiny puppy eyes, and in her giant gown, it’s eerily similar to the role she’s supposed to be playing.

“It’s nice. You’ve decorated it?”

You nod absentmindedly, clearing the narrow couch off for yourself to sit on, since Chaeyoung has taken the only chair that could fit in the trailer. “Yeah. I mean, I’ve had it for a few months, so.”

She winces. “I’m sorry.”

“For what?” you frown. Chaeyoung apologizes too much, but at least she’s upfront about whatever she has to say.

Your costar sighs, “For usurping the role? You must’ve gotten attached to Sooyoung, and it’s got to be horrible for me to just… arrive like this.”

“You know… that’s part of it.” You can’t lie; a big part of the resentment you hold against Chaeyoung is the fact that she took a role meant for someone else, someone you were friends with. “The other thing… I don’t like idol actresses,” you tell her.

Chaeyoung’s brows furrow, and she leans forward. “Why? I mean, why don’t you?”

You pause to think about it. “Well… I mean, think about it like this. Sooyoung and my auditions went for weeks before we were chosen, as a pair. Didn’t you get this role because you were an idol? You had to audition, sure, but I bet you just flashed a few smiles and read the script and got chosen. How is that fair?”

She opens her mouth to speak, but you hold your hand up and continue, “And the other thing. You’re straight.”

Chaeyoung chokes on air at that, spluttering, “What? You hate me because I’m straight?”

“No,” you say incredulously, “Well, I don’t hate you. But you being straight, and landing the lead role in a film like this… you’re taking away representation. And that’s kind of shitty of you.”

The air inside the trailer becomes suffocating, and Chaeyoung’s fiddling with the jacket in her lap finally stops when she throws it aside and stands up. She sounds like she’s about to cry when she says quietly, “Have you ever considered that I’m not straight? It’s not… it’s not that easy to be out about it--”

“Oh, cry me a river,” you groan. “Look, I apologize for assuming, but if you want to act in lesbian roles, you can’t pretend to be straight. It’s all for your fans, isn’t it? Another part of being an idol--”

She stands up, then storms right out of the trailer without another word, the door banging closed. The only thing you can do in response is sigh and utter a quiet, “Shit”.

Perhaps it’s just your luck that the first proper scene you have to film with Chaeyoung is your culminating kiss scene.

It shouldn’t be in the trailer at all-- according to the scene schedule, the two of you would’ve filmed your scenes together in chronological order, and the kiss would’ve been at the end, hopefully after a reconciliation between the two of you. However, for some inexplicable reason, it’s going to be the first one you do, without a single second of rehearsal.

You’re a one-take wonder, and you always have been, but you can’t help but think about how impossible it’s going to be to pull off such an intense scene with someone you just fought with. Sighing, you lean over to fiddle with your hair; it’s slightly tangled now, and there’s a fake scrape on the side of your cheek. 

At a side, Chaeyoung is similarly beat up, fake blood smeared on the left side of her face. Her long hair has been put in an updo and then taken down, and parts of her dress are ripped; to you, she looks more like Helen than herself now.

“Okay, everyone, are we ready? Positions, please!”

You arrange yourself on the ground where you should be, holding a handkerchief to your cheek like instructed as Chaeyoung stands by the camera to run to you. Exhaling sharply, your eyes meet hers for the first time in days. “Action!”

Chaeyoung sprints to you as soon as she’s cued, falling in front of you in a heap. “Luna,” she gasps, reaching a gloved hand out to the ‘injured’ half of your face.

“I’m fine,” you smile weakly. The camera hovers by Chaeyoung’s shoulder, and you soften your gaze as much as possible as your hand comes up to hers.

The other girl only moves closer, her eyes scanning yours and her dress surrounding the both of you like a sea of gauze. Her nose is almost brushing up against yours, and you mutter softly, “Be careful. I don’t want you to do anything you don’t want.”

“Well, what do you want?” Chaeyoung implores, almost inaudible. Her breath quivers, and you feel it when you reach forward to cup her jaw. “Luna, what do you want right now?”

“I’m not making a move until you tell me to,” you shake your head. 

The blonde’s hands slip off your face, and she braces herself on your thighs instead. She laughs breathily, “Coward.”

“Your coward, huh?”

Chaeyoung pauses, scraping her teeth across her bottom lip. It’s so quiet that you think you could hear a pin drop, and the torches held up by the crew flicker across her face so naturally. “If you want to be.”

There’s probably another line that comes after, but with Chaeyoung so close to you, it swims blurrily in your mind. So instead, you just lean up, pull her down, and connect your lips.

She plays along, thankfully, stumbling slightly in her character’s eagerness to get a little closer. The only thing you can hear is Chaeyoung’s slight gasp when you let your hands wander down to her waist, and it’s almost scary how absorbed you are in the scene.

“Okay, cut!” Seulgi’s shout breaks you from your trance, and you hold your hands up as if in surrounder. Chaeyoung’s cheeks are red yet again when she sits up, staring anywhere other than you.

Your director hops off her chair to run towards you, a huge grin on her face. “That was perfect,” she shouts. “Y/N, I think you forgot a line? But it worked out amazingly. The one-take wonder, right?”

You grin when she pats you on the shoulder, a little harder than necessary. Apparently, all your worries were for nothing, as you and Chaeyoung stand to monitor your own shot in the screen next to Joohyun.

You can’t even hear all the praise she showers on the two of you, and you pay no attention to all the details she points out that apparently showcase your perfect chemistry with your costar. All you feel is a slight squeeze on your hand, hidden in the mess of fabric by your side.

You jolt awake at the sound of your phone ringing loudly by your side, finding an unknown number as the caller ID. Accepting hesitantly, you greet, “Hello?”

“Y/N? Did Chan give me the right number?”

Oh. It’s Chaeyoung. “Yeah.” You clear your throat in an attempt to sound a little less drowsy, then repeat, “Right number. Why’d you ask Chan?”

“Well, it’s kinda hard to find you when you never accepted my request,” she laughs quietly. “Um, I have to record the OST today, and I was wondering whether you’d want to come watch? Chan said you didn’t really have any scenes later today.”

“Um. Okay. I’ll ask Chan to bring me,” you answer, then hang up. Your head swims slightly, partially due to the fact that you woke up to the piercing sound of your ringtone and partially because you just don’t understand why Chaeyoung’s reaching out again. You should be the one apologizing, after the tangent you went off on, and you highly doubt that your kiss scene doubled as an apology. Of course, you’ll take it.

Your manager is more than pleased to pick you up this time, but thankfully, he doesn’t question you. If he did, he’d probably be the one you shouted at.

The studio is honestly too small for two people, probably hastily set up, but you recognize the recording equipment from a video of Chaeyoung recording one of her group’s songs. And you recognize the girl already standing in the recording booth, waving you over. “Hi,” she smiles, and for all you try, you don’t see a hint of malice.

“Hey,” you mumble, taking a seat. “Uh… I’m sorry.”

“Wow, straightforward,” she tries to joke. “What for?”

You scratch the back of your neck, sighing, “For assuming, for blowing up on you, for… I don’t know, kind of everything. I’m an asshole, even if what I said wasn’t wrong.”

Chaeyoung chuckles, fiddling with the mic. “I mean, I appreciate the apology, but I wasn’t great either. You definitely had some truth behind what you said, even if it was kind of too to the point.”

“I know. You were just trying to apologize and help us become civil, and I kind of ruined it,” you hum. The other girl adjusts the lyric stand as you continue, “But I’m hoping you understand why I had to say what I did?”

“I do,” she agrees. “You’re definitely right that it’s not good representation at all, I just wish you had heard me out.”

You nod uncomfortably, changing the way you sit on the couch just to distract yourself. “So… you’re gay? I’m just asking because I don’t think I’ve ever heard you talk about it, and I’ve seen plenty of your interviews.”

“So you watch my interviews?” Chaeyoung teases. When you scowl, she just smiles, “I can’t say specifically, but I am confused. You said last time that it’s just another part of being an idol, and you’re… you’re right. It’s taboo for idols to be gay, even though Korea’s opening up to it a bit more now. So even though I want to, I don’t think I can ever be out about it.”

“I understand. And I’m sorry,” you say quietly.

She swallows, throat bobbing. “Thank you. Hey, Y/N… would you mind singing with me?”

“What?” You stare up at her incredulously; it’s not like your singing would make the other girl faint on the spot, but you definitely don’t possess an angelic voice like hers, either.

But maybe it’s an olive branch. “Just… can you match this note?” She hums, and you attempt to create the same pitch. “Okay. Can you do the chorus part in that key, while I do it in the main one? We’ll sound better like that,” Chaeyoung offers.

Against your better judgement, you stand, and shuffle into the recording booth next to her. “If this sounds bad, you’re taking the blame,”  you warn, and she giggles while twisting the stand so you can see.

You do sound good together, maybe to a level that you would’ve never anticipated.

You know that something’s off when Chan doesn’t wake you up bright and early on your birthday, even if Seulgi already promised that you wouldn’t have to go to work on the day of. After spending many a birthday with him, you’ve already gotten used to him tugging you up just to take you outside and celebrate somehow.

You know something’s especially off when you hear a female voice cursing from your kitchen, and smell something burning.

“Who the shit-- Chaeyoung?”

The girl turns in surprise, caught red-handed with a piece of burnt toast pinched between her fingers. “Um. Hi?” she offers weakly.

Suddenly self-conscious, you cross your arms over the faded sweatshirt you wear. In your own apartment, Chaeyoung is leagues more put-together in the summery dress she wears, her dyed hair tossed in a braid and glitter shining at the corners of her eyes. “Hello?”

“Chan said you wouldn’t be awake for a few hours,” she sighs, shaking her head as she tosses the toast in the trash. “And I wasn’t supposed to burn the toast.”

“What were you supposed to do?” you question, stepping closer. There’s a cake box on the counter, as well as a couple suspicious tubes of icing right by it, and you think you know what’s going on.

Chaeyoung huffs out an exasperated breath. “I was supposed to surprise you. Chan has something going on at home, so he sent me to supervise your birthday instead. Obviously, I messed that up.”

“It’s fine,” you shrug, taking a seat at the counter and reaching for the icing. “I’ve always wanted to decorate a cake anyway.”

She looks surprised at that, but a smile breaks out across her face. “Really?”

“Really,” you confirm. It’s partially a lie, but you’re decently sure that Chaeyoung will refuse to let you do most of the work anyways. “Uh. I’ll just change first, and then we can get that going?”

“Yeah,” she grins, and you take it as your cue to scurry off to the bedroom.

By the time you come back, there’s a plate of not-burnt toast on your counter, and Chaeyoung’s pouring out two glasses of the juice that you can never bring yourself to buy because of the price tag. “I hope you like it, this is one of my favorites.”

“Like it? I love this,” you gasp, surging forward to pick up one of the glasses. “It’s expensive as hell, though.”

“Well, I couldn’t get you a gift, so I thought a nice morning would suffice,” Chaeyoung laughs. She unties the bow on the cake box to reveal a completely bare vanilla cake, a few packets of sprinkles that you hadn’t noticed now lying next to it. “Do you want to start?”

“Oh, sure.” You choose the blue icing after a bit of debating, and pick up the spatula that your costar offers you. “You didn’t have to, though, I would’ve been okay on my own today.”

Chaeyoung shrugs, “I mean, I didn’t have anything else to do, and I wouldn’t like to be alone on my birthday.”

“How do you usually celebrate?” you question, glancing up at her.

She pauses to think, then answers, “Well, I do live with my members, so we’ll get something to eat. Sometimes, we’re on vacation, so we just do what we can, but I like staying in the dorm to receive the things that their families send me.”

“It sounds sweet.”

“It is,” she grins. “I honestly don’t know what I would do on my own, it seems lonely-- Oh. I’m sorry.”

“What for? It is kind of lonely,” you admit, squeezing a glob of icing out. It’s definitely not as graceful as you would’ve appreciated, and you catch Chaeyoung stifling a laugh. “Chan lived with me at the beginning, but he eventually moved out when I got a girlfriend. Obviously, that didn’t laugh.”

“Sorry,” the other girl repeats again, and you wave a hand out. “When was that?”

“She moved out two years ago,” you answer. “And I’ve been alone since. Or, lonely, not always alone.”

Chaeyoung nods just so that you know she heard you. She accepts the icing tube when you hand it to her, making a spiral that’s infuriatingly better than yours. “How about you? I know you said you aren’t out, but have you dated yet?” you question.

She shakes her head, admitting, “Not yet. I don’t really know how to, you know? You assumed I was straight when you first saw me, so I think everyone else does too.”

“Sorry,” you say, an echo of her.

Your costar doesn’t respond, only setting the spatula down once the basic blue icing is smooth. “I think we’re supposed to refrigerate this before decorating, right?”

You grimace. “Well, I don’t know. I stopped watching cake videos years ago, so I’ll just listen to you.”

Chaeyoung hums and ties the box back up. “Okay, then I’ll just do it. Um, do you mind ordering chicken or something while we wait?”

“Sure.” Reaching for your phone, you ask, “Would you be opposed to romcoms?”

“I’m never opposed to romcoms,” the other girl answers.

You have to remind yourself to order two servings of chicken, something that you haven’t done in a while. But it’s comforting, in a way, to not be alone again.

“Can you believe we’ve only got a week left of filming? I feel like I haven’t seen you at all.”

You wince guiltily, even though you know that Yerim doesn’t mean it. Acting with your friend was originally a huge incentive for you to accept the film’s role, but the two of you quickly discovered that you had almost no scenes together, and with your push-and-pull with Chaeyoung, you forgot all about it. “Sorry, Yerim.”

She makes an incredulous expression, swatting your arm. “Don’t be ridiculous, Y/N. I’m happy you’re pursuing love and all that, and besides, we’ll have plenty of opportunities to act together.”

Blinking, you set your cup down on the counter. “Pursuing love?”

Yerim raises her eyebrow and says, “Yeah. Aren’t you and Chaeyoung together yet? We’ve been filming for two months, I’ll be shocked if you still haven't kissed and made up.”

“Uh. Well, we’ve kissed, but I don’t think it counted,” you frown. 

Your friend sighs and rolls her eyes. She’s all too used to how dense you are, and apparently, she’s finally gotten tired of it. “You’re an idiot. You literally met the morning of your first script reading, and you knew each other for… what, a week before you had your kiss scene? There’s got to be something there.”

“No.”

Right on cue, a few of the other cast members arrive, Chaeyoung sandwiched between them. “Have you seen the articles?” Nayeon grins, waving her phone around in the air. She’s drunk, obviously, but you have to indulge her.

“Which articles?”

She shoves the screen in your face as an answer, and you cringe when you find a screencap of you and Chaeyoung. “You won’t believe the chemistry-- nope, I’m not reading that.” You hand the phone back to Nayeon, then press it in her hand when she doesn’t take it. Yerim sends you a knowing expression, one that you definitely don’t like.

“Aw, come on! It’s good press,” Nayeon whines. “And a great kiss scene.”

“Don’t be weird,” Chaeyoung warns. She doesn’t seem to be drunk at all, though she does look fantastic in the silver dress that she wears. Your eyes linger on her for an embarrassing amount of time.

Nayeon pouts. She’s bubbly-- you’ve learned that much through acting alongside her in a total of three productions so far. You note that your costar doesn’t seem to be so accustomed to her temperament yet. “You’re no fun, Chaeng. We all know you enjoyed it.”

She goes bright pink at that amidst Yerim’s joking coos. “The token straight, converted?” your friend gasps, and you elbow her to stop her from going too far.

Apparently, it already has. “I didn’t!” Chaeyoung defends herself.

“Prove it,” Nayeon demands, slipping when she attempts to lean on the counter next to you.

Chaeyoung goes silent at that, apparently unable to find a way to ‘prove it’. You finally sigh, “Okay, I think that’s enough teas--”

If it wasn’t for the fact that you’ve long since memorized your entire script book, you would almost think that Chaeyoung reaching forward to tug on the front of your shirt is a scene between your two characters. After all, it’s perfectly in character for your eyes to widen comically as the other girl kisses you right on the lips. 

It’s also in character for Nayeon to start whooping next to you when your hands wrap around Chaeyoung’s waist to pull her in closer. You part at the noise. “You certainly look like you liked it,” Nayeon grins. 

“Yeah, get a room,” Yerim follows, and you shove her.

“You know what? Maybe we will.” Ignoring your friends’ jeering, you grab Chaeyoung’s wrist and lead her down the hallway, though not to a bedroom like you joked you would. “Hey. You okay? I didn’t know if that teasing crossed a line,” you whisper worriedly.

She bites down on her lip, but instead of answering you, Chaeyoung tilts your face up and leans closer, only stopped by your hand on her wrist. “Chae…”

“I’m sorry, this… this isn’t what you want, is it?” She steps back, mouth already opening to apologize, but you stop her from leaving you alone in the hallway.

“Shouldn’t I be asking you that?” With the flashing neon lights echoing in her eyes, you can’t tell what Chaeyoung’s feeling, and you can’t tell if she’s willing to answer you properly at all. “I’m not making a move until you tell me to.”

Still, you don’t hear her say a word, until your grip starts to loosen on her wrist. “Did you drive here yourself?” she finally asks, barely audible. You nod hesitantly, and Chaeyoung’s voice grows firmer when she says, “I’m telling you to make a move.”

“I thought you were questioning?”

She swallows hard and takes your hand. “Not anymore.”

You don’t taste any alcohol when you lick your lower lip, and so, you nod. It’s stupid, especially considering how quickly your time together is about to end.

But for once, you know what you want.

“Good luck out there, Chae,” you smile, arms wrapped around the girl’s waist. 

“Thanks,” she hums, adjusting her hair yet again in the mirror. “We’re almost done filming, I have to promote us well so that we have enough money to at least put the damn film out.”

“Mm.” Your thumb smooths over the sliver of skin exposed by her top, and you place your chin on her shoulder to look at the two of you together.

She glances down at you. “What? Are you thinking about something?”

“Sort of,” you shrug. “I just can’t believe we’re almost done, but we… we just started this. You know, this thing between us.”

“Yeah, it’s definitely a thing. But it doesn’t have to stop with filming,” Chaeyoung says offhandedly.

Raising an eyebrow, you question, “Doesn’t it? It’s going to be suspicious for us to constantly be seen together after filming together, I’ve seen the way your fans behave. Especially while you’re not out.”

“I think I can negotiate that with my company,” the other girl shakes her head.

You joke, “What, you release another two albums if you get to come out about having a girlfriend?”

“Do you want to be my girlfriend?” Chaeyoung responds immediately. Her ears pink endearingly, and you wait for her to clarify, “In secret for now, obviously. But… one day, I’ll be out about it. I promise.”

“Don’t make empty promises, okay?” You press a kiss to her bare shoulder and let her go when you hear a knock at the dressing room door. “Do good!”

“Alright, Chaeyoung, it’s about time that we ask you some questions about your upcoming film, isn’t it?”

“Yeah, absolutely,” your costar smiles, and you raise your head from your phone to watch the screen. She’s sitting cross-legged across from some of the most famous idol interviewers in Korea, absolutely poised and natural even in front of the crowd that cheers over the interview.

The woman behind the podium clears her throat. “A huge talking point in Korea right now is your chemistry with your costar, Y/N. How exactly do you pull that off, since you’ve never experienced a relation like that?”

Chaeyoung laughs nervously, tucking her hair behind her ear. “Oh. Well, um, I don’t have much experience with relationships at all, so--”

“Really? A pretty girl like you must have had a boyfriend or two before.” You despise the way that the interviewer leans in conspiratorially, as if the prying questions weren’t completely scripted. “But you seem a little to pretty to have experienced that, am I right?”

The crowd laughs with her, but Chaeyoung glances behind the scenes, probably to where her own staff sits. “You know, you can tell me if you ever felt… uncomfortable during filming,” the interviewer continues on. “Y/N has been out for years, hasn’t she?”

“Oh, she has…” You’re practically fuming, but you also can’t seem to pry your eyes away from the screen. All of Chaeyoung’s practiced idol-charm has seemed to dissipate into thin air, and she’s practically blending into the wall as she sits there.

The Chaeyoung you know-- no, the Chaeyoung that you’ve come to know, wouldn’t stand to hear something like that. You’ve watched her argue with a scriptwriter, and you’ve watched him get fired because he said something incredibly offensive, even though it wasn’t about you. But here, she sits still and just listens to the interviewer discuss you behind your back, and she says nothing about all the disgustingly backhanded comments.

The thing is, you don’t care about Chaeyoung not being out. You were closeted for enough time yourself, and you know how hard it is, so you’d never wish it on her; but watching her completely let go of all her personal principles just for a stupid interview is just another reminder that you’re letting go of your own. Chaeyoung won’t ever speak up, you realize, because her career comes before anything else. And you can’t stand for that.

“I’m leaving,” you tell the guard standing outside of your door. Only increasing your anger, tears start to burn in your eyes, and you scrape your sleeve across your face as roughly as you can. Chan picks up on one dial, and you say furiously, “Pick me up. It’s over.” In more ways than one.

Chaeyoung shivers at the top of the hill, where she’s supposed to be filming her closing scene with you. She hasn’t seen you for the past week, and after how disastrous her interview was, she’s pretty sure she knows why.

“Where’s Y/N?” she finally asks her makeup artist, giving in to her own curiosity.

Felix shrugs, reaching to mess with the blood on her hairline. “I have no idea, honestly, I haven’t seen her yet. She’s never late, though, you don’t have to worry. You’ll get your scene done.”

“That’s…” Chaeyoung sighs. That’s why she should be worried. “Right.”

“Okay, can we start?” Seulgi shouts. It’s started to rain, but with the excited look on the director’s face, Chaeyoung figures that it suits the scene even better than the gray clouds that had been planned. “Great. Chaeyoung, Y/N!”

Your hair is plastered to your forehead with the rain, and water makes your blouse cling to your curves; with the grim expression on your face, Chaeyoung could easily just mistake you for your character. “Hi,” you mutter, taking a seat on the grass right next to your costar. You say nothing else.

When cued, Chaeyoung takes a deep breath before her line. “Luna. I love you.”

For a second, Chaeyoung thinks you won’t respond, but the rasp to your voice proves her wrong. “No. No, you don’t.”

“I think I’m the one who should be deciding that, don’t you?” The blonde raises her eyebrows, reaching forward hesitantly for your shoulder.

Of course, you dodge it. Blinking the rain out of your eyes, you’re resigned when you ask, “You have your birthday gala tonight, don’t you?”

“Yes, but--” Chaeyoung swallows, lets her hand make contact, then continues, “I’m spending as much time as I can with you, aren’t I with you right now?”

“But you’re going.” It feels like you’re staring right into Chaeyoung’s soul when you speak, as despondent as your voice is. She nods, and you stand, her hand slipping off of your shoulder and into her lap. “Then go. You’re still a princess at the end of the day, aren’t you?”

“At the end of the day, yes…”

“You can’t do that. You sneak out onto my ships, get my people to love you and protect you, and then turn right back to your family to stay safe while we die for you. You can’t say you support our cause and then go back on it when it’s inconvenient for you, it doesn’t work like that!” Chaeyoung flinches at how intense you sound; at this point, she barely knows if it’s still acting. She can only hear her own heart in her ears, can only see your chest heaving from how quickly you spoke, and it all feels too real.

“What, do you want me to get found out?” Chaeyoung demands, getting to her feet as well. The rain becomes harsher, angled so that it perfectly blurs her vision of you. “I’ve saved your ass just as many times too, don’t pretend like I’m not a valuable part of your ship!”

“You’re still pretending.” Realizing that it’s not the right line, Chaeyoung opens her mouth to stop you, but your voice chills her into silence when you speak again. “You’ll always pretend, as long as it benefits you, won’t you? You can’t do that, Helen, not if you ‘love me’. Putting a crown on your head doesn’t mean that you’re a princess. Until you realize that, and until you’re willing to embrace it, you don’t love me. and I don’t love you.”

None of it is the script. None of it is the scene that you rehearsed a thousand times together in your trailer, but somehow, it makes Chaeyoung’s heart quaver in her throat so much more than the original lines ever did.

And when you drop your gaze to the ground, turning to walk off into the rain alone, she knows that to you, your entire relationship is already done.

#blackpink #blackpink x reader #rosé x reader #rosé imagines #rosé scenarios #blackpink imagines #blackpink scenarios #blackpink reactions #blackpink rosé #blackpink chaeyoung #park chaeyoung #park chaeyoung x reader #park chaeyoung imagines #blackpink is the revolution #blackpink in your area #girl group imagines #girl group scenarios

[villainousshakespeare]

Bobby’s Playdate Part 3

Part 1, Part 2

The pandemic is keeping Tom idling in London by himself. One positive is that wearing the mask helps him avoid recognition, allowing him to wander in the park with his dog, Bobby. On one of their walks, Bobby becomes smitten with a dog named Lulu and Tom is equally enchanted by her human. Can the Hiddleston men manage to find a way to see the lovely ladies again?

Tom Hiddleston/OFC

Chapter 2 of4

Rated M - Pandemic, Fluff, Quarantine, Masks, Adorable Puppies, Meet Cute, Fourth and Final Part Will Contain Smut

@yespolkadotkitty @just-the-hiddles @hopelessromanticspoonie @wine-and-whines @arch-venus25 @caffiend-queen @devilish–doll @enchantedbyhiddles @hiddlesholic @i-do-not-fangirl-i-fanwoman @kellatron55 @ladyoftheteaandblood @latent-thoughts @gorgeous1974 @maryxglz @myoxisbroken @nuggsmum @nildespirandum @pedeka @redfoxwritesstuff @sinfully-lustful-darling @vodka-and-some-sass @wrathkitty @kingtwhiddleston @wolfsmom1 @poetic-fiasco @shiningloki @dangertoozmanykids101 @bookworm-christina @thecutestlittlebunbunfairy @amwolowicz @delightfulheartdream @frostbitten-written @what-a-flammable-heart @tom-hlover @nonsensicalobsessions @myraiswack @loki-yoursaviourishere, from-hel-i-with-love, @sweetsigyn, @fictiondoesitbetter, @ms-cellanies @evieplease @viviennes-tears @turniptitaness @cynic-spirit @spooky1980 @ghostypau @viviennes-tears @lady-loki-ren @loki-laufeyson965 @ohhhhmarkiloosecontrol @ghostypau @queeftheif @mousee555 @isimpforeveryonee @preferredrealty​

He was being a right arse, and what was worse he knew it.

Tom grimaced as he stirred his bolognaise sauce. So, she knew who he was, and had all along – what did that really change? Why did it make him so uncomfortable that she hadn’t said anything? After all, he had known as well and he certainly hadn’t brought it up. Was he upset that she had known and hadn’t fawned all over him? Could he really be that shallow? He had liked that she was just herself, allowing him to be himself as well. What was it then that was bothering him?

The timer rang for the pasta and he reached over to grab the oven mitt that usually hung by his stove and grimaced. Of course, he had put it away in the closet because it had a big, red Avengers logo on it. All of that running around he had done, stressing out Bobby and working up a sweat, and it had all been entirely pointless. He felt like the biggest idiot of all time.

Which was the problem, of course. Tom was used to being multiple steps ahead of everyone. He wasn’t conceited about it, well, not exactly, but he was quite often the smartest person in the room. He credited his teachers and a topnotch education, as well as his family of course, more than his own keen powers of observation. He had simply been taught from a young age how to think. It was an invaluable tool as an actor. It also meant that he was often left waiting for others to catch up. He was not, decidedly not, used to being the one feeling foolish for being wrong.

Yup. He was a complete and total arse.

Here he had a beautiful woman in his home, when he had begun to despair of such a thing ever being allowed again, much less happening. She was smart, charming, funny, and kind enough to realize that being a celebrity must be exhausting and discussing it could get tedious. And how had he repaid her for her consideration? By running out of the room and leaving her doubtless wondering at his manners, if not his sanity.

Tom dipped a spoon in and tasted the sauce. This had better be the best meal he had ever made if he wanted to make up for the mess he had made of things so far!

“Everything okay in here?” Leia’s voice asked from the kitchen doorway as Tom was using a tea towel to carry the pasta pot to the strainer in the sink.

“Aside from you spending the evening with a complete prat, everything is fine,” he said with a self-depreciating laugh.

“You know, there are things called oven mitts,” she grinned at him. “Maybe we should go online and order you some.”

“I have them,” he sighed. “I put them away for tonight.”

“So you could experiment with first degree burns? Is that research for a role or something?”

“They were… branded.”

“Like a cow?” she blinked at him.

“No… like Marvel. Avengers branded. So, I hid them.”

“Tom,” Leia was obviously trying to hide a grin that tugged at the edges of her mouth, “did you hide all your movie memorabilia before I came over? Is that why your house looks like the display room from an upscale furniture store rather than a lived-in home?”

“Maybe,” he mumbled, face turning red as he looked back at the stove.

“That must have been a lot of work. How long did it take you?”

“Most of the day. What are you doing?” he asked at the strange contortions her face was making.

“Trying to visualize the reverse scavenger hunt. Hold on…” she scrunched up her nose and he could see her picturing his lunacy in her mind. “Okay, that was fun!”

“Glad I could amuse you,” he grumbled.

“As every good host would be!” she grinned at him. “And then Lulu went and ruined it by digging up the Loki toy. Well, leave it to the Trickster God to upset the best laid plans. But really, is it such a big deal that I know?”

Tom closed his eyes for a moment and took a deep breath. She really was being sweet about the whole fiasco of his running into the house. Perhaps, if he could regain some of his own composure, it didn’t have to be the biggest fumble in the history of first dates. He just had to take a cue from her and try to find the situation amusing rather than humiliating.

“It is not,” he said at last. “Thank you for taking it all so well. Now, dinner is almost ready, I just need to put it on the plates.”

“My I use the loo then?” she asked.

“Of course. Second door on your right.”

“Thanks. I’ll meet you back outside. Oh, and be careful – Lulu may look innocent, but she will steal any food off your plate if you turn your back on her!”

“Wonderful, then she and Bobby will have even more to bond over,” he remarked, rolling his eyes.

“Between the two of them we’ll be lucky if there’s any food left for us.”

“Good thing I made extra then.”

“Oh, before I go – there are still hand towels in the bathroom, right? They didn’t get squirreled away for having horns on them or something?”

“No, the hand towels are purely Only Lovers Left Alive, and I assumed that was enough of a deep dive to keep any but the most ardent fan in the dark.”

“You’d be surprised, people love a good vampire flick!” she teased, as she headed off down the hall.

Tom took another steadying breath. So, she not only knew of him from the Avengers franchise, and from the London stage, but she had seen at least one of his indie films as well. Which meant, he suddenly realized, that she had seen more of him than he had realized. Squirming a bit, he plated the food and carried it outside. He would be sure not to bring up high rise, he decided. He had heard rumors about people pausing the playback on a certain scene, and he preferred to stay in the dark about her exposure to that.

By the time Leia joined him out at the table, Tom had managed to calm down a bit. He would have needed to tell her about his job eventually any way; at least now he could enjoy the rest of the evening without the fear of her reaction hanging over his head. The food had served up nicely, and he poured a friendly serving of wine into each of their glasses. Bobby and Lulu were already sniffing around at his feet, hoping for clumsy hands to drop offerings to their greedy mouths.

“Back off you two hellions,” he told them good naturedly. “Haven’t you already done enough damage tonight to the possibility of my getting a second date?”

***

Leia froze in the doorway, eyes going large. Had she heard that right? Had Tom just used the word date to describe the evening?

She had hoped it was a date, of course. She had even called it one to herself and her dog as she was getting ready. Still, she had not quite been able to convince herself that it was anything more than what he had sold it as – a playdate opportunity for their canine companions. After all, a handsome, charming, world famous movie star such as him could date anyone. Why would he want to be with her when the entire glamourous world was his for the taking?

Looking down, she realized that her hands were shaking. His befuddlement at the discovery of his identity had been charmingly adorable, and it had the wonderful side affect of allowing her to feel less awkward herself to see him so out to sea. It gave her back a modicum of power. That was gone now with one word from him that she was not even meant to hear.

“Oh, hi!” he smiled, seeing her in the door and standing up like the perfect gentleman he was despite their outside, casual location. “Dinner’s served.”

“It smells divine,” she told him, and rolled her eyes inwardly at the gushing word.

“Well, I am a God you know,” he smirked, and then blushed and looked embarrassed.

What was happening? They had been so comfortable outside in the park! Just two regular adults enjoying each other’s company and the relatively fresh air of suburban London. Now though, now that she knew he meant it as a date, and he knew she knew he was an actor it was all awkward.

“So, do you have any mischief in mind for tonight?” she asked.

“I suppose that depends on how the night goes,” he gave her a devastating wink.

Wait, was he flirting with her now? Ack! She didn’t know what to think, but her body certainly responded to that comment. Wanting a distraction, she shoved a forkful of pasta in her mouth and let out an involuntary moan of pleasure at the delicious taste.

“Is it okay?” he asked, despite her clear approval of his efforts.

“It’s amazing!” she told him, as soon as her mouth was empty. “Jesus Tom, on top of everything else you can cook too?”

“Eh heh heh heh,” he laughed, obviously delighted. “I’m afraid I am full of flaws, but I will do my best to hide them from you for as long as possible. I’m glad you like it.”

“You’ll have to give me the recipe!” she demanded, taking a long drink of the wine that paired perfectly with it.

“Ah no. If I do that, what incentive will there be for you to come back?”

“I don’t think you have to worry about that,” she looked up at him over her wine glass. “After all, Lulu is having such a good time, she would never forgive me if I deprived her of more free time with Bobby.”

“Right. Yes. Lulu and Bobby.”

“It’s why we’re here, after all,” she shrugged, not knowing why she was pushing it so hard.

“Oh, I almost forgot!”

Tom shot out of his chair, startling the dogs who both started yipping in irritation. He jogged into the house, and a moment later came out with a beat’s pill speaker in hand. Placing it on the table, he fiddled with it until music straight out of a café in Venice started crooning out of it.

“The perfect final touch!” he said proudly.

“I can almost see the canal in the distance!” she told him with a laugh.

“I would pole you out, but I’m afraid my boat is not handy.”

He suddenly blushed again, and Leia had a quick flash of where his mind had gone. They both turned crimson and occupied themselves with the food for a few minutes in charged silence.

Leia could feel the tension sparking between them, but she had no idea how to act upon it. She could not think of any time in her past where she had been in a similar situation. How could she have been, when she had never met a man in her life like the one sitting across from her.

The song switched to a slower song, still Italian, and she noticed that Tom was tapping his fork against his plate in rhythm with it. He noticed her gaze and chuckled, eyes twinkling.

“You should see me with spoons,” he told her.

A moment later, he was on his feet again (really, he seemed incapable of sitting still tonight) and placing his napkin on his chair. Holding out one hand to her he raised his eyebrows in question.

“May I have this dance?”

As Leia hesitated, he face fell. Stepping back, Tom put his hands behind his back and dropped his head apologetically.

“I am so sorry,” he rushed to say. “I completely forgot. Of course, we are in the middle of a pandemic. The last thing we should be doing is dancing. Hands touching, standing close together. I am so, so sorry.”

“Tom, Tom!” Leia interrupted his contrition. “Stop apologizing! If I was concerned about catching the virus from you, I wouldn’t be eating the food you cooked! We both got tested, remember?”

“Are you sure, because you didn’t look –“

“I was worried about crushing your feet,” she admitted, stepping towards him. “I am not exactly what you would call graceful.”

“Well, I am hardly Baryshnikov,” he demurred. “But if you’ll allow me…”

He offered his hand again, and this time Leia took it. It was the first time they had touched, and she almost jumped at the spark that passed from his fingers to hers. His grip was firm, and he drew her in so that she was held firm against his chest. His other arm came around to rest his hand on her lower back, and she had to remind herself to breath as she was held in his embrace.

“Look at me,” he said as she obeyed instantly. In part it was because it was what she wanted to do, but it was also a reaction to the note of command in his voice. Even though it was soft, there was a note in it that was to be obeyed. “Good girl.”

As he led her around the little yard in what she realized was a waltz, Leia felt her last bit of restraint melting away. She wanted this man desperately and there was no denying it. His hips moving against her, his hand burning a hole through her dress, his low singing along with the song, it all had her ready to drop to her knees and beg him to take her.

“I love dancing,” he said, stating the obvious. “Especially with the right partner.”

“Sorry you’re missing that,” she tried for humor.

“Quite the contrary,” he didn’t rise to the bait, looking her straight in the eye and keeping his voice serious. “I can think of no one else I would rather be dancing with. You must know that you are all that has made the last month bearable. I look forward to our afternoon walks more than I can say.”

“Me too,” she whispered, tongue swiping over her lips. She saw his eyes flicker to them and then return to hers slightly darker.

Her breath caught and she was certain that he was going to kiss her when a loud crashing noise brought them both up short. Spinning around, they saw Tom’s plate laying on the ground, Lulu and Bobby shamelessly sharing the spoils of their raid like a modern day Lady and Tramp.

“Bobby! Bad dog!” Tom barked, advancing on them.

“Oh, Lulu! You naughty girl!” Leia scolded at the same time.

As Tom advanced on them, the dogs took off in the direction of the tree, trailing sauce in their wake. Tom stomped after them, eyes narrowed while Leia picked up the plate and mopped up some of the mess with his napkin.

“Bobby, stay!” Tom snapped, snapping his fingers.

Bobby dropped to his haunches with a whimper while Lulu headed back towards Leia and the remaining food.

“You too, sit girl!”

He snapped again and Leia, on sheer instinct, set the plate down with a clatter and sat on the chair, hands folding in her lap and eyes looking up towards him, Lulu sitting at her feet.

Tom’s face, facing her, went completely still for one long moment. Leia could feel a nervous energy rise in her stomach until a slow, Cheshire cat smile spread across his face. The dogs forgotten, he looked at her with a sparking intensity that made her weak as he crossed to where she sat.

“Well,” he drawled, “isn’t that interesting.”

#Tom Hiddelston #tom hiddleston rpf #tom hiddleston fanfiction #Tom Hiddleston/OFC #bobby hiddleston #Bobby is the best wingman! #pandemic #quarantine #dating during covid #falling in love #fluff #mild angst #flirting #Tom is ridiculous #puppy love #Bobby's Playdate #romance #bolognaise #dancing

[lady-ofroses]

something else to talk about chapter 2

in which cordelia is an oscar winning actress, anna is an entrepreneur and the author of a popular lifestyle blog, ariadne is a model and owner of a famous winery, matthew helps write anna’s lifestyle blog and is a highly sought out fashion designer, james is a singer and occasional actor, lucie is a famous author, thomas and alastair both have their own separate talk shows, christopher is bill nye 2.0, jesse is director and producer, and grace is a model

thank you to the wondrous @sleepy-sendhelp​ for helping me come up with this and proofreading i could not have done this without you!

you can read chapter one here!

hope you enjoy!

When James opened the door to his penthouse he was not expecting to see Cordelia Carstairs, standing in all of her crimson-haired glory. He certainly wasn’t expecting the words: “be my fake boyfriend” to leave her mouth.

But, in spite of that, he invited her in. Offered her a glass of water and waited for her to explain. She was sitting now on his plush gray couch, water in hand, taking a long sip of water and James made his way over to the couch. Of course, he knew what had happened with her father, it was all over the news. 

He was also scared of the impact it would have on his career since it was his first role ever. His career as part of the band he was in with Matthew, Christopher, and Thomas, The Merry Thieves, had given him his start as a musician and now his career as a solo artist had cemented his future for the next five years. But he knew that if this movie failed, he would forever be known as “that singer that tried (and failed) acting” and he didn’t want that. He also knew that this movie was a huge thing for Lucie and he could not risk ruining that.

He turned to face her, finally ready to listen to whatever thought process brought her to this insane idea of fake dating. He didn’t know Cordelia very well. Other than the fact that she was Lucie’s best friend and that they were co-workers, they had never spent any one-on-one time, unless it was to practice their “chemistry” for the movie.

Cordelia was looking at him now. She placed the glass of water onto the wooden coffee table and tucked a strand of her garnet hair. “I feel like I should elaborate now,” she said as she chuckled awkwardly, “About the whole ‘fake dating’ thing.”

“Yes, I think that would be quite helpful,” he replied, trying not to sound as uncomfortable as he was. After his relationship with Grace, he wasn’t really in the mood to date somebody else, even though his publicist had told him multiple times that he had to date someone else so that he wouldn’t look like he was still pining after Grace and also make him win the date race.

“So you probably already know about my dad,” she paused and took a shaky inhale. “And that’s going to cause ticket sales to drop. My plan is... to give them something else to talk about, for example, a new romance.” She gestured towards him and looked him straight in the eye. “And you also care about the ticket sales and with the whole Grace thing, well... we could... you know...”

“Fake date?” James asked. Listening to her now it did seem logical even though it was a little unorthodox. This could be the perfect way for James to make the public happy but be happy himself. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Cordelia clench her hands into fists. 

Dating someone was out of the question for James. He had so much going on that he didn’t want to have to deal with another person, especially if that relationship would end up like his relationship with Grace had. He knew that he wasn’t going to be able to handle the heartbreak that came from breakups and he also knew that he wouldn’t be a very good boyfriend. He looked back at Cordelia, she sat with her arms crossed over her chest, one of her fingers tapping impatiently on her elbow. He could feel her anxiety, the waves of it reaching him, almost as if they were beckoning him to respond faster.

She stood sharply and began walking towards the door. She wrapped her hand around the doorknob. “Never mind, it was a stupid idea. I’ll see you tomorrow, James.” She twisted the doorknob and opened the door. James desperately reached his hand out to her. 

“Wait!” he called out. She stopped in her tracks and turned around to face him. He looked her in her coal-black eyes that seemed to shine, almost as if she had captured the stars of the midnight sky in her eyes. “I’ll do it,” he announced.

Her eyes widened in surprise as if she couldn’t believe his answer and frankly, neither could he.

He couldn’t date someone, it would end badly for the both of them.

But this wasn’t a real relationship, this was for the press, it was simply a mutually beneficial alliance made between two co-workers to get a job done. It was all fake. He couldn’t ruin their relationship by breaking up with her because there wasn’t a real relationship to ruin.

“Okay so... we need to make some ground rules,” Cordelia said, as her surprise wore off. She stepped out of his apartment. “But not now. I’ll see you tomorrow, you’re taking me out on a date. Pick me up at noon and make it public.” And with that, she shut the door to his apartment, not even waiting for confirmation from him.

James knew that this was the best possible option for the both of them, but a part of him knew that something was going to go wrong.

***

The next day, James woke up at eight and went through his usual morning routine. He got up, went out for a jog and stretched afterward, showered, ate breakfast, and finally, brushed his teeth. He looked at his closet, trying to find proper first date attire while debating where to take Cordelia for lunch. He eventually decided on going to Perch because of its glamorous rooftop dining and quickly called to get a reservation. On normal occasions, James would’ve tried to reserve the entire rooftop for privacy but Cordelia had told him to make it public. He made sure that the table was in a more secluded space that was still seen by others.

It was a smart idea, to have their first date in front of others, it would ensure that they were seen so they could get the rumors about their relationship started. They would still have to come up with an official relationship timeline and a whole story on how they got together. 

James speedily chose his outfit, a white t-shirt, and some jeans, left his penthouse, and drove over to Cordelia’s apartment building. He had only been there a few times since they usually went to his place when Lucie made them practice their chemistry, he rushed inside and turned to go to the elevators when he saw a familiar flash of red hair out of the corner of his eye. He turned around to see Cordelia sitting on a sofa near the entrance to the building. She was reading her favorite book, Layla and Majnun. 

“Hey!” James said, trying to sound enthusiastic as he walked over to her. In reality, his stomach was a mess with nerves and he couldn’t help but think that yesterday had been his last day of normal, his last day of being real, because now, everything he did, every move he would make, would be part of the show he and Cordelia would have to put on.

Cordelia had put her book in her purse and was walking towards him by the time James had been snapped out of his mind. She was dressed in a dark green sundress that was decorated with tiny white flowers. It had a square neckline that perfectly allowed Cordelia to show off the friendship necklace that Lucie had given her. 

James signaled for Cordelia to follow him as he led her over to the place where he had parked. He unlocked the doors to his black BMW and slide into the driver’s seat as Cordelia slide into the passenger’s side. He could tell that she was also as nervous as he was from the way that her knee bounced and the way that she kept on looking around, almost as if she was trying to find an escape.

“Where are we going?” she asked, as she continued to look at the street. She had stopped bouncing her knees and started to tap on her elbow, just as she had the night before.

“Perch,” he replied. He got to a stoplight so he turned to look at her, “I didn’t reserve the entire roof though so that it would be public.” The light turned green and James accelerated again.

“Thank you for doing this. I really do appreciate it,” she said as she stopped tapping her elbow. She seemed calmer now. As if knowing where they were going was calming her down or maybe she just really liked the food from Perch and that was making her more calm.

“No problem,” he replied as he took a turn to find a place to park. Cordelia seemed to notice because she began to sit straighter and look around again.

“There,” she said as she pointed at an empty parking spot near a tree. James began to make his way over there and parked flawlessly. He turned off the engine, took off his seatbelt, and looked out of the window before opening the door to get out. He went around the car to open the door for Cordelia and waited as she stepped out to close the door.

Together they walked over to Perch and went into the elevator. This was it, the point of no return. Once they stepped out of the elevator, their scheme would have to face the scrutinizing eyes of the media and everyone else and they would have to hope that they would never be found out.

Cordelia looked up at him, almost as if waiting for confirmation.

He held out his arm for her and looked her square in the eye.

“Ready?” he asked.

the next chapter will definitely feature their first date and it will be in cordelia’s pov. constructive criticism is welcome and appreciated! please let me know if you want to be added to the taglist!

taglist: @alastair-esfandiyar-carstairs1, @jem-nasium, @writeforjordelia

#jordelia #jordelia fanfiction #herondaisy #herondaisy fanfiction #james x cordelia #cordelia x james #cordelia carstairs #james herondale #grace blackthorn #grace cartwright #lucie herondale #chog #cog2 #chain of gold #coi #chain of iron #no chain of iron spoilers tho #cot #chain of thorns #tlh #the last hours #tlh fanfiction #tlh fanfic #tsc #tsc fanfiction #the shadowhunter chronicles

[writingtoforgetreality]

Take It Easy - Little Movie Star Chapter Four (Jensen Ackles x Daughter!Reader)

[Actors-Masterlist], [Little Movie Star-Masterlist]

Previous Chapter / Next Chapter

Summary: The aftermath of the hate comments. Jensen explained that the future would not be easy if you had a public life. Bonding time with Danneel was appreciated & a revelation left Jensen with a plan for you.

Words: 2,022

Warnings: language, mentions of cyber bullying, bonding time, fluff, tiny bit of angst, fake social media posts (picture credits go to their rightful owners)

If you like my work & wanna support me: a coffee would be highly appreciated ❤

~2016~

Sunrise came sooner than anticipated. Wanting to procrastinate the talk with Jensen & Danneel, you slowly dragged yourself out of bed & went to the bathroom. Risking a look in the mirror was a big mistake. Your eyes were puffy from all the crying you did yesterday. Technically, you could go for sunglasses. Nope, you could not do that. You know who wears sunglasses inside? Blind people…& douchebags. Chuckling slightly at your own joke. Hopping in the shower real quick, you hoped the warm water could calm you down enough.

After putting on a comfortable outfit for the day, you took a deep breath & started walking to JJ’s room. It had become quite the routine for you. If you were up early enough, you stopped by her room & took her with you downstairs. Knocking softly & opening the door slowly, you saw her already awake, waiting for you to pick her up.

“Good morning, princess. Slept well?” she nodded eagerly & stretched out her arms.

“Let’s get to breakfast then.” smiling sweetly at her. Just for a second, you forgot all about last night & just lived in the moment. Oh, if it were that easy all the time…

Silent voices made you stop in your tracks. Eavesdropping was not something you usually did but you could not help yourself. Besides, you could tell that this conversation resembled around you.

“Maybe she hasn’t seen the comments yet.”

“Oh come on, Dee. Of course she has. I mean, our comment sections are filled with that bullshit.” Jensen was deeply hurt by what some of his fans were saying about you, after one single post.

“What should we do?” Danneel sighed.

“We talk to her.” that was when you coughed to bring the attention to yourself. They turned around & looked surprised by your sudden appearance. You set JJ down & crossed your arms over your chest.

“Sorry for listening in on you guys.” your eyes flickered down because deep down, you knew what you did was not okay.

“Hey, no, it’s fine. We wanted to talk to you anyway.” Jensen walked over to you, followed by Danneel.

“Please don’t listen to any of them, angel.” the nickname made your eyes shot up & when you looked at Danneel, you could feel the tears threatening to escape. Jensen could tell right away & wrapped his strong arms around your frame. You did not care about being vulnerable in front of them. Even though you were sure you would regret your actions in a few hours from now.

Breakfast was filled with conversation between the three of you. JJ & the twins were not understanding anything anyway & you were glad that they were too young to care about stupid comments made by anonymous people on the internet.

“I’m sorry, (Y/N).” Jensen’s voice was filled with disappointment. Though, you were not sure if it was directed at his fans or at his decision of making an Instagram post in the first place.

“None of this is your fault.” reassuring him quietly.

“You don’t deserve this. And we don’t want you to think that we’re not happy with you being here because that is bullshit. We love having you here.” Danneel’s hand found yours on the table & she gave you a little squeeze that put a small smile on your face. You were about to tell them something you had never admitted to anyone before. It was a big step for you & you were making yourself even more vulnerable in front of them. But they seemed genuinely concerned about you & you did not know why but you believed what they were saying. You just hoped your trust in them was not misplaced.

“It’s just…It’s not the first time I’ve heard something like that. A lot of the families I had been to previously had shared their opinions with me. I’m used to it, I don’t even know why it’s affecting me this much.” Jensen & Danneel shared a look with each other. Yes, they were happy that you were sharing a little bit of your past with them but what you shared broke their hearts. The worst thing was that they knew it was not the only thing that had happened to you. There had to be so much more that you still had not told them & they were scared what would come in the future.

“Can you promise me something?” Jensen waited until you met his eyes. “If you have thoughts like that, you come to us immediately. Because whatever your mind tries to tell you, it ain’t true. A lot of these comments are not only hurtful but also threatening. And I’ll put a stop to this right now.” he pulled out his phone & opened twitter. He showed Danneel & you the tweets before he hit send. Afterwards, they told you that comments similar to what you had read will continue to come at your way, simply because they were celebrities. After all, you were part of their family now & therefore your life would also be kind of public. As much as you would allow it anyway.

To some, these tweets might not be a lot but to you, they meant the world. After Jensen tweeted these, you grabbed your own phone, opened Instagram & reposted the picture you took yesterday.

You meant every single word because you did feel like a part of this family & why you still could not understand why they wanted you in the first place, you were more than happy that you were here still. A few weeks ago, you would have never thought to stay with them for so long. Yeah, they really meant it when they said they wanted you to be a part of them.

“I know exactly what we need!” Danneel stood up & you gave her a confused look. What was she planning?

“Girls-Day.” giving you a wink, she helped you out of your seat & gave you a light push, telling you to get dressed so you guys could go shopping. Danneel was aware that you were still slightly uncomfortable whenever you were alone with her but she wanted to change that & what better way than a shopping trip together?

The trip to the local mall was very much needed. Danneel warned you about possible paparazzi & the thought made you nervous. What if you did not look good? What if it gave the media something negative to report on? Danneel silenced your thoughts by dragging you into the first shop. Your shopping spree was successful & you came back with tons of shopping bags. Feeling bad because you did not pay for anything, Danneel assured you that it was no problem. Besides, you did not have a lot of clothing to begin with & she told you that you needed it. Also, she gave you permission to raid her closet any time you wanted. And who were you to decline such an offer?

“Successful much?” Jensen joked when the two of you entered the house, struggling with all the bags you were carrying. He gave you a hand & set some of the bags on the couch. Your mood had changed drastically if you were to compare yourself to a few hours prior.

“Jensen, can you help (Y/N) putting her stuff in her room?” Danneel grabbed some of her bags, definitely not nearly as many as were filled with your clothing.

After putting all of the bags on your bed, Jensen offered to help you putting them away in your closet & you thanked him. While the two of you got to work, he commented on some of the clothes that he was storing away & said that you & Danneel chose a lot of great looking things.

“So, how was today?” Jensen started a conversation & you were not in the mood to lie to him so you told him the truth, the entire truth for once.

“A rollercoaster of emotions. But it ended great.” shooting an honest smile his way, one, that he copied.

“I know it’d be easier if we weren’t popular & all that.” he sighed.

“Not all of it is bad, though. I mean, you get so much love on a daily basis.”

“True, but it can be frustrating, especially when family gets involved. Still happens with Danneel sometimes.”

“Really?”

“Oh yeah, you know, when people get jealous & all that.”

“I’m sorry.” a tight lipped smile was on your face.

“Nothing to be sorry for. This life has its perks, but it also has a lot of disadvantages. When you’ve been in this business for so long, you start blocking out the negative comments...Hey, that was the last piece, we did it.” raising his hand for you to give him a high-five.

Falling backwards on your bed, Jensen mimicked your actions, you let out a long, satisfied sigh. Today had been exhausting, both mentally & physically.

“Now that we know that you enjoy shopping…what else do you do for fun?”

“Um, I guess a lot of creative stuff. I like writing. Taking pictures. Drawing. Oh, this will sound ironic, but I actually like acting a lot.” that peaked his interest. He propped up his arm & laid his head on it.

“Really?”

“Yeah, I mean...Whenever I imagine playing a role, it helps me control my emotions.”

“Do you have any experience?” he curiously asked. Maybe you had acted somewhere before?

“God, no. Just because I like it doesn’t mean I’m good at it.” laughing shortly, then you continued. “It’s not like there were a lot of opportunities coming my way growing up.” shrugging, you enjoyed the comfortable silence that followed. Shortly after, Jensen walked out of your room, telling you to get some sleep.

A plan was starting to form in his head. He had connections & if acting really was something that you enjoyed, why not trying? The producers had the last word & then he could see if it really was something that was just a hobby to you. He had a feeling that you would surprise him, though. Dialing the next person that came to his mind, he wanted to hear his opinion.

“Hey, man. How are you?”

“Hi, Jared. I’m great, thanks.”

“How’s (Y/N) doing?”

“Danneel & her went shopping today. But look, she just told me something.”

The conversation went on for a while & Jared was on board with Jensen’s plan. Still, it was meant to stay secret for the time being. They planned a dinner in a few days from now. Just him, Danneel & you, joined by Jared & Gen. It would also be your first time meeting them. This decision was made shorty after you arrived at the Ackles’ house. Simply because you were freaking overwhelmed with the entire situation & had to get used to them at first. Now, it felt like a good time to introduce you to the Padalecki’s. At the dinner, they would tell you about their little plan. Before that could happen, though, Jensen had to make a few more phone calls to set everything up. Hopefully, you would not kill him after finding out. No, he could tell that you were being serious about this. You might not admit it but he noticed that your passion for acting was way bigger than you let on.

~to be continued~

Next Chapter 

Published (04/10/2021) by Cathy

Tags: @vicmc624​, @imaginationisgrowth, @stoneyggirl​, @alyispunk​, @thevelvetseries​, @multifandomlover121, @samsgirl93​, @supernatural3002​, @diabetes-03, @prettyybubblesintheair, @originalsoulcollector​, @vir-tual, @bellero​, @sergantbuckybarnes (let me know if you wanna be tagged <3)

#Jensen Ackles #jensen ackles x reader #jensen ackles x daughter!reader #daughter reader #daughter!reader #danneel ackles #Jared Padalecki #acting #actors #Little Movie Star Chapter Four #genevieve padalecki #imagine #original series #reader insert #reader imagine #fanfic #fanfiction #SPNFamily #supernatural family #supernatural cast #writing #series #multi chapter

[marshmallowprotection]

Iris

Pairing: Choi Saeran/Reader, 707 | Choi Luciel/Main Character

Description: Was there faith in a false paradise with a savior that spilled honey sweet lies to make you agree? There is no life to be found amongst those in a rotting flowerbed, only those clinging to the roots as the world awaits your demise. Why is he still here when others had long been plucked from the dying earth? And better yet, why are you still here after everything, clinging to his roots as if he’ll bring you life? Or is he the one clinging to you?

SE Saeran x Former Believer Reader

Word Count: 6000

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[Read On AO3]

Chapter Six

Tumultuous was the task that Unknown had placed into your hands. It didn’t matter how much you did or how much thought you put into what you did, he would scoff at your ideas and notes as if he didn’t even want to read them in the first place. Yet, you didn’t let it stop you. 

No, if he was going to make you do this job then you were going to go above and beyond to ensure that he understood you weren’t dead weight. 

If he wanted to play this game by yanking your chain, then you were going to walk faster to overcome the feeling of a collar burning against your throat. 

You spent what felt like weeks grinding your fingers against the keys of your laptop and hours working on writing through the intelligence notes. He had been doing this all by himself for some time before you came into the picture so the amount of hours that he had spent on this was something that you’d not even begun to imagine. How many hours did he sit there watching everyone and everything on his own? 

Was he doing that in the middle of trying to guard and protect Mint Eye, as well? 

Oftentimes, you would glance over from your task to catch a glimpse of the man behind his desk, eyes watching as he controlled to click with his mouse and tap tap tap those keys. He was… so interesting to say the least in this regard. You knew that he was committed to his work. There was nothing that he’d do but his work. 

He spent hours alone and isolated doing everything that had to be done  and he never did other things.

You knew that because before you had encountered him in the hallways, it had been the first time that you had seen him outside of a ceremony… and even then, you never saw him stay for very long. The Savior told him to come partake weekly but it would be a rare time if you saw a glimmer of white hair underneath a robe—

And seeing all of his work, you understood why. You understood why nobody saw him and why he was the true moniker of Unknown. His role was simple and now you were living the same thing. Nobody’d see you crawling around the place unless he ordered it of you or expected it from here on out.

It wasn’t like any believers interacted with you, but still… 

The isolation didn’t make your guts feel better in any way. You normally loved the feeling of being alone and away from the rest of the world but this was a different kind of isolation than the one that you had chosen for yourself. This was suffocating. You had no idea how Unknown locked himself in this dark room without windows for days on end. 

It felt like you were going to forget what day and time it was the longer you stayed with him. Did he even know what day he was on? You couldn’t imagine that because he functioned like a robot. He had done that to himself… how the Savior found someone like to be so loyal was beyond you, but the more that you read about the RFA members, the more curious you were about how he was swept into this.

Yoosung Kim and Zen were… Well, what did a student and a musical actor have to do with any of this in the first place? There were other members that you noted but you weren’t quite sure what to think of them as well. What did they mean to the Savior and Unknown? For that matter, what did Unknown mean to the Savior? 

Everyone knew that the Savior would often dote on Unknown, her fingers pressed against his shoulders as she coaxed him from his fits of anger, calling him her son. They looked nothing alike but she seemed to take on the role of a mother for him. She did that for everyone in paradise but… it felt different when she looked at Unknown… and the way that he looked back at her. 

What did it all mean? 

With knowing eyes, you glanced away from Unknown and looked at the clock. It was time for the weekly ceremony and you weren’t going to miss it this time around. If Unknown was going to hold that over your head then you were going to make sure that he couldn’t get out of it, either. You shut the lid to your laptop and stood, the sounds of your shoes clunking against the ground as you did so which caught his attention. 

“Oi, boss,” you called his attention as you went to grab your robes from the closet. “It’s time for the ceremony. You’re the one that made a big deal about not showing up on time the last time we had one so you better get a move on.”

There was a non-committal sound from the back of his throat. A part of you expected him to look at you with a cat-like fury in his eyes before he made you pay for saying that. He didn’t seem to care what you had said to him because he was the boss. He had said that himself and you understand that, but it was no excuse. If he was holding you to this standard—

Then you’d drag him down with you every step of the way humanly possible. It was only fair, you thought with a disgruntled look crossing your face. If he was going to make things a living hell in his room then you would make sure that he followed all of the rules that he wanted you to follow like a loyal dog. 

It wasn’t like you could get away from him. 

Your entire world changed because of Unknown and there was no way to go back. You accepted that fact as it was. It was rough but you’d been moved from your own room to his, into this tiny little space that now was yours as well. There was a room attached to his workspace that he’d gotten so he never had a real reason to leave. He had his own en suite bathroom and a very simple room to go with it. He hardly used it, though. The bed was never slept in and when you laid back on it, it was like the mattress was never used.

Which meant that your few worldly possessions could be moved into his space. A couple of things that you had been allowed to keep, but not much. A photograph, your two outfits provided by the Savior to clothe you in purity, and yourself. 

You paid no mind to the implication of which that meant. Mint Eye was meant to be a place where it was easy to belong but at the same time, you were meant to give up many things to commit yourself to the cause. It was like any religion… leave behind many of the things that meant something to you to be able to achieve salvation. 

It made sense, in theory, to let go of earthly desire but seeing all of your things easily tucked away in a bag always felt…

Odd. 

Regardless, you wrapped your robes around your shoulders and let the hood sit against your neck as you turned back to face Unknown. “Oh, no, boss. You’re the one that told me I should never skip out on the most important task that I could maintain before I was made your assistant. So, what’s the good excuse that you’ve got for yourself, huh? After all, someone as important as you shouldn’t skip out on something so enlightening.” 

“You know as well as I do that I’m committed to paradise,” his voice was dry and flat as he continued to press his fingers to the keys and ignore your presence. “The Savior understands why I miss out on these ceremonies unless she’s told me to come and save someone alongside her at the pulpit. I don’t need to partake in elixir with the crowds who fan to her footsteps so easy. I have my own supply that I take at the appropriate hour.” 

So, he was given his own supply of elixir to drink when he needed it? That was a surprise. Nobody was allowed to control their own consumption of elixir… nobody that you knew, anyway. 

It made sense why you didn’t see him, then… he could drink it when he was meant to and he was expected to drink every last drop no matter how he felt. You wondered how that must’ve felt to drink alone as the burning feeling washed over him. Would it sting more to be alone with your thoughts? 

It wasn’t so bad when you were with others. It made everything feel warm. fuzzy and your heart sputtering against your ribs wasn’t so bad… since you knew that everyone was going through that moment together. There was a sense of kinship in pain… a pleasure in knowing that you were in something with others that were looking for the same salvation that you were. It was what made paradise feel like… home. 

Even if you were isolated, even if you didn’t get to interact with others, you could always find yourself home in the middle of a worship ceremony. That’s where paradise made everyone feel like they were meant to be there. It didn’t matter how hard it was to work for the goals of salvation, not when you’d gotten a day every week to remind yourself of why you had come here in the first place. 

To find a family. 

Unknown couldn’t take that away.

You wouldn’t let him take that away, anyway. Rather, you were prepared to do what had to be done to ensure that you existed just as you always had, even if you had to change plans and shift the way that it worked for a while. 

So, you braced yourself and stood your ground behind Unknown, repeating your prior words. “I do believe it was you that said that it was wrong to avoid the ceremony, Unknown. So, are you going to get up or am I going to have to tell the Savior why you skipped?” 

That twisted laughter that escaped the back of his throat was amusing to him, as far as you could tell from the way that his hands paused their endless work. “Haha… hahahaha… are you using my words against me, assistant? Do you really think that’s a good idea? Do you think I’m going to let you do that to me? I’m your boss… and the Savior trusts me more than she’d ever trust you, your pathetic words will mean nothing.”

“I’m merely supplying what you told me, boss.” 

“Clever little shit, aren’t you?” 

“So, are you coming or not,  boss? Because I’m going and I’m not going to avoid breaking the rules of paradise for your sake. If she wanted me to take my elixir here with you, Savior would have said that I should do that a long time ago.” 

Much to your surprise, Unknown did spin his chair around to face you and you were left staring into those mint eyes of his. He seemed to be trying to read your expression and look for a sign of weakness but all you supplied in return was a narrowed gaze and an undaunted stance. He couldn’t intimidate you as long as you bit back. 

Even if he held most of the cards, you weren’t going to bend. 

“That’s what I thought,” you said, simply. 

He didn’t say a word to you but he did brush past you to grab his cloak. You snorted when he did and began to walk towards the door of the room, swiping your ID against the scanner and watching as the heavy door thudded open to reveal the moonlight that poured in from the window. It felt nice against your skin to see some kind of natural light again.

You didn’t bother to glance over your shoulder to see if Unknown was coming behind you, because you knew that he had no choice. If you showed up and he didn’t, it would look bad on him. 

Not a single time had the Savior told you that you would be cleansed with Unknown all alone, so you had second thoughts about heading to the church tonight. It was going to burn, but you wanted, no, you needed a reason to feel like this was worth it. 

No matter how much the elixir stung in your lungs, no matter how dizzy and hot it made you feel, and no matter how much you gasped around the acid, it would always settle in your guts and remind you to keep surviving no matter what to taste what it felt like to be truly free in bliss. 

There were times in your life where you hesitated to drink it… but her beckoning hand told you to continue. It didn’t have to make sense, right? All you had to do was trust that the Savior had your best intentions in heart. That was the only true way to know that you were following the path of her light as intended. 

That would bring peace to your mind, right? This would stop the feeling of hesitance that brewed up whenever you got confused about your new assignment. It would give you a reminder to stop thinking so hard and accept what you were given. You knew that’s what you had to do but without the elixir to bring you peace, it was so… hard.

Perhaps, it was different for Unknown… you thought as he caught up with you, a scowl on his lips as you were pretty sure he said, “You better not boss me around again, assistant.”

Only if you treat me properly, you wanted to scoff. 

He knew that he walked right into it and he had to accept that reality. Silently, you and Unknown walked through the halls towards the church located in the heart of Magenta and took your place amongst the crowd after your trek throughout the quiet building. The familiar halls were something you knew like the back of your hand after spending so many months looking for differences in the repeating patterns. 

Magenta was like a hotel to many… like a retreat. It was made to look that way to ensure that no one was better than anyone else. It kept everyone on the same playing field and kept them from thinking that their reality was like the outside world. You liked to believe that but after seeing the state of the room Unknown had, you couldn’t help but be curious of what the Savior’s quarters were like. 

Did she live like the rest of the believers? 

Unknown wasn’t likely to tell you but you knew that when he left the workroom, he would always go to see the Savior. He hardly left apart from grabbing his basic needs, and seeing him outside of the tiny space that you’d grown to call your new room, well, it felt odd. However, since he’d mentioned that he would normally take his elixir alone, you were starting to connect some dots. 

Perhaps, there were things that you didn’t fully know about paradise. There was always the sense that there was something… amiss… but you had faith in the Savior. You just needed to focus, you couldn’t let these thoughts lead you astray any longer. You needed to breathe and let go of these feelings as soon as possible. With renewed focus, you bit into your tongue and focused on the walk.

He never said another word to you, which did make you feel as though you had bested him, if only for a brief moment, anyway. Either way, when you reached the church center you knew that it would be off the table for now. You could try to catch your breath again, and hopefully you would stop feeling those twisted feelings of self-doubt. 

He took his spot by your side, and even though his hood was drawn over his head, you could see the pink tufts sticking out. That disgruntled look next left his face, either,  but you felt a strong sense of satisfaction knowing that he didn’t try to argue with you this time. He might do it later when you’d least expect, but you knew it was worth it. 

“Dedicated and loyal followers of Mint Eye who came to seek shelter and safety in the warmth of our humble Magenta, I welcome you this week, old and new believers alike,” the Savior’s voice spoke from the front of the room and dragged your attention away from Unknown. “I know it has been tough as of late to settle comfortably, knowing that there are so many people led astray to the darkness. But, I pray that you worry not for the lives of those that will one day come to realize their life’s true path in paradise.”

“You are the saved, the blessed, and the chosen ones. You’ve realized that society has shunned you and left you to be abandoned. The outside world didn’t try to mend your broken hearts, it continued to go over you and around you, crushing you underneath a weight that none deserve. Here in paradise, you’ll be protected from those that wish to trample you for being different. Here, you are welcome to be who you are without fear.” 

“One day, we will be able to show the world they were mistaken in their judgment of us, as they realize our tender hearts want nothing more than to survive. As our numbers grow, as do our hearts. As does the wish to live in this world without contempt. You, my believers, all deserve to be seen and heard no matter how you feel, so I welcome you to stay amongst our blooming paradise, knowing that you will always be protected from their judgment.” 

“I welcome you to join your fellow believers and find shelter. I welcome you to join us deeper every day you stay here. I welcome you to find peace with your comfort with our trusted family. Mint Eye is our family that will not abandon us, no matter how our hearts may feel… I welcome you to open your heart to Magenta and join the enlightenment that you will surely reach the longer you stay in our humble halls.” 

The Savior leaned forward against her pulpit to look at all of the faces in the crowd one by one before her eyes settled on you and Unknown. You weren’t sure if she was looking at you directly, or if she was looking to see that Unknown had truly come. There was something in her sharp gaze that you couldn’t quite identify. 

All you knew was her look was a strong one, a proud one, one that made your stomach twist into butterflies. 

Her smile grew by the seconds that passed, “I invite you to partake of the elixir of salvation, as you drink from your glass, I ask you to think of the bliss that comes from the entanglement of pain. From our pain, we are born anew. With our pain, we can see what the world has done to us, and with this pain, we remind ourselves to never forget what we have suffered. Drink, drink up, my believers. For eternal paradise.” 

The crowds echoed her words one by one but to your side, you noticed Unknown did not repeat the solemn words that she had spoken. If he noticed that you were looking, you couldn’t say for sure,  but you gripped the glass of elixir in your hand as it had been waiting for you to pick up in the pew, hands resting against the glass of shimmering liquid without a second thought. 

Why did he hesitate saying it? 

Why? 

Your stomach had felt like it was in the right place until you saw him… why was Unknown making you feel different? Why was his existence making you have these questions? It wasn’t just that he used your tardiness against you… it was every rule that he followed that was so unlike he rest of the believers that you knew. 

He had taken his entire elixir without even flinching, as well. What was that about, then? Perhaps he noticed your hesitance, because not even a second later, he turned to face you with an unfamiliar glint in his eyes. It wasn’t a taunt. He nudged his hand against your glass that had been resting against your lips, nudging you to drink more and more of it until it was gone. 

“For eternal paradise, C404,” he whispered the words for you as that burning feeling began to sweep you away. 

—

You were right to think that breaking things wasn’t going to make you feel any better. It hasn't made you feel any better. No amount of screaming ever did fix things. That’s why you wound up rolling over in bed night after night after night. It was just a matter of waiting for your body to give up and pass out so you could start the process of a long day all over again. 

It would be like that… an endless cycle that you would be forced to follow into the ground. Wake up, eat, stare at the clouds, pick something to do for a few hours, eat again, shower, and then lay in bed until your body caved into the pressure and you felt nothing but the urge to sleep again. 

It felt like you were trapped in a time loop that you didn’t know the end of. It just kepting coming and coming and coming.

Well, perhaps that’s what you deserved in the first place, you would think with a scowl growing on your face the entire time. This is what you deserved for walking into Mint Eye. Even if you weren’t someone who had tortured people over and over, you were still somebody that benefited from the system time and time again, looking away when something went wrong because it wasn’t happening to you.

It was happening to them. 

It might have made sense given the fact that the elixir made people lose their sense of empathy in a matter of weeks. If someone had a heart, they weren’t likely to keep holding onto it when they were in a cult and that was simply how the cookie crumbled. The only heart that you had ever had was for the flowers that you loved dearly because they had always been there for you. The rest of the world had shut you out and cast you aside.

You had nothing but the wilderness in your hands to keep you company, and the hum of the life that you had been forced into. Living in an office job and trying to make ends meet when truly, you were on the brink of drying up inside and waiting for a fire to spark you in the wrong way. If Mint Eye hadn’t found you when they did, you had the feeling that you would’ve self-destructed anyway. 

You were always thought of as a ticking time-bomb. It was something that your parents had once joked about to your face. 

They had told you that it was only a matter of time until you were worthless. There would be no one there for you at the end of the day, one day, they’d die or they’d stop pitying you, and you would have nobody to turn to, nobody to force yourself to live for, and nowhere to live when you collapsed and gave up, and you would be nothing.

The nothingness that they had always told you that you were. 

Nothing… just broken code with a script that led nowhere. 

Maybe Unknown was right when he said that you were kindred spirits in Mint Eye because as it turned out, 404 was the same line of code for his title. 404 led to nothing online and meant that there was no answer to be found. In a way, you were truly nothing and so was he. He was named to be nobody and you were simply born to be nothing.

Was that why you were so angry, you wondered. In the way that you had always felt like you were just a worthless burden to your family, as it turned out, you were worthless to Mint Eye as well. Even though you thought that you finally had a place where you belonged, they laughed right in your face and gave you a name that said that you were just the same as you had been when you were on the outside.

In glaring retrospect, it made sense that you were nothing and that you would always be nothing. You screamed and cried into your pillow because of that reality. You just wanted to stop hurting and you’d just wanted so badly to find peace. There was a part of you that hated being on the outside even if it meant that you could see the sun again. 

There was another part of you that liked being outside again because you could get ice cream whenever you wanted. There was another part of you that missed being in Mint Eye because at least when you’d been there, you knew that there was a line and you always knew how people would treat you. Though, against that reality, a part of you didn’t want to go back because you would see Unknown hurting once again. 

You didn’t want him to suffer if it meant that you could see him again. If you had to be isolated and alone, so be it, you thought. You just wished that you had an answer to know for sure what kind of life he was living now. Somewhere in your gut, you feared that Unknown might be with the rest of those members that were in charge, locked away in a jail cell. 

Yet, of all the people that were shown on the media and news, he was never amongst those numbers. As it turned out, there was so much that you didn’t know. There were factors that you had never been told and that hurt. There were things about the RFA that had been denied to you. Facts and fiction that you couldn’t read between the lines of. 

They kept you in the dark for a reason, both Rika and Unknown, they hid things and told you to think twice before asking about things that weren’t your business to be messing around with. You knew little of most of the members, but you could list them by name, list their weaknesses, and talk about how it’d be easy to rip them to shreds. 

That’s what they taught you to think of when you were studying them to the T every day. It was more like looking for a way to beat a villain in a video game. It was like they weren’t even human… They were just obstacles. In a way, Mint Eye wanted to dehumanize them all right in front of you so you’d never think out of line about your place. 

It was a way of living that you never had any chance to fight. They wanted you to destroy and never think twice. It was the same way that Unknown thought when he considered those people, and it always showed in the way that he talked about them with you. 

He didn’t particularly hate them but it was more like they were puppets than people.

You’d never think of doing that now, but what you did think of was why it was something you even had to do for them Rika never said a word about why she wanted to make them pay for something, only implying that Jihyun was the cause of all of her suffering and he had to bear witness to whatever the goal of paradise was as she took in all of the members of her former organization. It was a game of a lover’s quarrel.

You understood Jihyun to be her former partner after a while of reading through everything, but it’d taken you a while to connect the dots. A while to understand who the RFA even was, and what it stood for. Rika’s Fundraising Organization, that’s what you figured out after more and more info was given to you in the form of Unknown’s notebooks. They had a fight or something, and she’d left to make this place.

Mint Eye. 

It didn’t make sense to you how one problem could induce this entire place, but then again, Unknown was in the dark about it, too. He always said that V abandoned them and left them to rot, and that was why they had to save the RFA members and convert them until V was the only one left standing to see it all crumble in front of him one by one. 

That much, you did understand, but there was one of those members that was a real enigma. 

707. 

Unknown refused to let you see 707 and he wouldn’t allow you to know anything about the man. He said it was because the clown was a nuisance and he would be handling the situation with the redhead on his own… It sounded like the anger that he held against him was personal. You knew that because it always turned sour when 707 did something against him. He would scream, shout, and hit his keys as hard as he could every time. 

You’d have to replace those mangled and broken keyboards after he was finished with them because he’d work for hours until he had sent his point. You knew nothing beyond that. The file with his name on it was hidden away, locked up so tightly in a drawer in his cabinet that had been physically bent. Nobody was meant to open it but Unknown if he could wrench it open since he was the one that broke the lock in the first place. 

You were always curious about the man that hurt Unknown so badly, but if you dared to ask, he’d growl at you, swat your hands, and warn you to never do that ever again. It was like you touched a spark that nobody was meant to touch. You knew your place and even if you wanted to push back against Unknown all that time ago, you knew better than to bite the hand that feeds. He wanted to hide it for a reason. 

Curiosity ate at you back then, and even now, it still did. You didn’t know anything about 707 and a part of you wished that you’d tried harder to uncover the truth. 

You wished that you knew why he’d been hurt in the first place, and if that was something that the Savior… no, that Rika used to compel him to do everything that he wanted to do… on top of whatever happened with Jihyun Kim that had clearly been a catalyst.

Jihyun Kim was a mystery but the truest mystery was 707.  While you had an idea of the kind of person that V was… you knew nothing about 707 except for what you had seen in the chatroom as Unknown started to monitor MC’s movements. He seemed to be a jokester that laughed quite a bit and that’s all you ever noticed about him. Somebody so happy that it felt weird for your Unknown to be so angry.

But, you knew better than to trust someone with a mask… right? After all, if you had believed in the cruel mask that Unknow wore, you never would’ve seen the person that existed underneath it in the first place. Who was 707 and why had he hurt Unknown? Would you ever know? Would Jumin or Jaehee ever dare to tell you what happened to Unknown and what truly happened? 

Did you even deserve to know? 

Why didn’t anyone tell you anything? Were you not good enough? Did they think you would break down and sob if they told you the truth that you feared? That Unknown had been killed alongside Jihyun Kim that day and the only reason they weren’t telling you was because you’d be useful in the trial against Rika Kim? You were nothing but a pawn again… a puppet… useful only to those that’d wanted you to give them what they wanted instead of what you wanted.

This was your greatest fear to date.

Unknown being dead. 

You wanted to tell yourself that he was alive and well, just living a life that you could never begin to imagine. You wanted to think that he had been helped in a different part of the hospital and then he left to see the sunshine and the clouds, never to look back again. 

You wanted to believe that he was in a place where he was happy and free instead of twisted up and mangled by his dreams of revenge that he’d spun to you. 

But, how could you believe that when you were always being kept in the dark? How could you do a single thing when you were nothing but a pawn? How could you do anything when everyone in the world was treating you like a child that didn’t deserve to know a damn thing? You wanted to break everything and erase yourself from this life and suffering. 

Why you? 

Why you? 

Why you? 

You weren’t sure but God, breathing heavily in the mess that you had created in your hotel room had done nothing for you but make you sob. You wound up laying there on the ground with a heavy heart and knot brewing in your stomach. 

After a while, you were numb to the tears that you had felt in your heart and just laid there, silently, broken down and seething all at the same time. You were nothing but a mess that was alive due to pity and only useful as long as you gave them what they wanted. As long as you gave them what they had to have to put Rika away, they’d string you along… no different than how Rika left you to live to placate Unknown’s hunger. 

What was any of this suffering even for? 

You had nothing.

You were nothing. 

These feelings overwhelmed your heart and dragged you underneath their surface for what felt like hours until you felt your phone buzz from the other side of the room. You didn’t know the hour nor did you know how much time had passed since you had your breakdown in the first place. You just knew that the phone was chiming and that usually didn’t mean anything good for you. Given the fact that you didn’t have friendships. 

It took some time to get off of the ground but you crawled over to the spot where your phone kept buzzing and alerting you to something. You found it laying underneath where you’d tossed what you had remaining in clothes. You typed in the password with trembling fingers, managing to somehow get it open without much trouble. 

You realized that it was a text message: 

 Jumin Han: I have reflected on much of what you said.

Jumin Han: I wish to discuss a couple of details in person. Jumin Han: I understand the mistake I have made by… pressing you for answers.

Jumin Han: However, upon further debate, I wish to speak to you about your request.

Jumin Han: To clarify, I mean the information you desire on his status.

 Your phone fell from your hand to the ground with a thud. It was like you were hit with everything that you had been trying to bottle up all at once. You couldn’t be in that room and you couldn’t stand being around anything. It was like being trapped between a rock and a hard place that didn’t want you to squirm away. 

The implication of those words did not fail you. 

Which is exactly why you picked up the phone, shut it off, and shoved it into the pocket of the leather jacket that you tugged around your body. It had been a year and the faintest smell of gardenia and rose was long but gone. It no longer smelled of Unknown but it was the only thing that you had left of him and you would be damned if you didn’t have it. 

Jumin… 

No. 

No. 

No! 

You weren’t going to think about it right now. You were in the middle of a crisis and you just needed to find something to take your mind off of things. You just needed to get away from everything and then it would be easier to confront everything. You needed to breathe, you needed to let go, and you needed to think about all of this before you screamed bloody murder.

Your legs carried you a couple of blocks over from the hotel until you reached the ice cream parlor that you would visit frequently. You paused in the doorway before you headed inside. The familiar chill in the air was welcoming… it reminded you of the workroom… it was always freezing to the bone in that space you shared with your boss… maybe that’s why you liked it so much. 

Cold… like his hands against the nape of your neck. 

You stood there for the longest time, just letting yourself breathe and reminding yourself that you were safe. This was a space that made you feel safe. You had control over this space and you didn’t have to be worried about someone judging you or looking at you with pity. You could be safe here and you could leave any time that you wanted. You could stay as long as you wanted.

You found a momentary peace… at least, until the shop door jingled behind you… so, you spun around to see who had wandered into the shop so that you could move out of the way for them, but instead of finding some stranger behind you, you found yourself staring into the eyes of someone that you had fallen in love with all those months ago. 

His dyed hair was gone… all gone… all that remained was red curls that made your breath stop in your throat. His eyes no longer held purple rings and bags from exhaustion, rather, he looked like he likely had gotten a lot of sleep in the last year… but his eyes… those mint eyes that had stolen you away from unease and brought you into paradise. 

Unknown was wearing a dark pullover, a striped shirt, and jeans. He looked to be different from the man that you once knew, but in that moment, you knew it was him without a doubt. You knew him from the bottom of your memory and you would never forget him. Seconds passed right in front of you but you knew it was him. 

Your eyes began to water, “Unknown?” 

“...Iris.” 

#se saeran #iris #mm #mysme #mysticmessenger #mystic messenger #saeran choi #choi saeran #saeran mm #saeran mysme #saeran mystic messenger #mystic messenger saeran #mysme saeran #mm saeran #saeran #saeran x reader #se saeran x reader #unknown x reader #reader insert #mod kait #long post

[officerrxyes-inactive]

Fox’s Pride Round table Discussion Highlights

feat. Brian Michael Smith and Rafael Silva

This isn’t perfect but it’s my rough take on what Brian and Rafa talked about in the stream. I highly recommend checking it out on your own if you have the time! Besides what’s mentioned below, the other guests had some incredible things to say as well and I think it’s really important everyone checks it out. It’s available on Fox’s pages on Instagram, Facebook, Youtube, and Hulu!

See my notes under the cut (I wrote them on my phone so and I have capitalization turned off and I’m not going through and fixing it... there’s also probably some spelling mistakes oops. Also this was just my take on what they said but if you got something else and find any of my paraphrasing incorrect and/or disrespectful please let me know!)

•brian talks about being a black trans actor on a major primetime tv show and what it was like to experience it, especially with it being pride month. it was a lot of what he said in his live with ronen. he explains how monumental it was on a personal and collective level. he also talks about the people who have reached out to him; parents of trans youth and trans people themselves, some out, some still in the closet. they tell him how much it means to them that kind of representation his character has brought to television, and that the character is played by a trans actor. he mentions growing up he didn’t even know there were other people like him. he grew up loving and watching film and wanting to do that but feeling like that’s not possible. even when he started acting he thought he would only be able to get background work or facing the fear that he may be outed and face violence. but now to be able to see better representation of real trans experiences, mentioning laverne cox on oitnb, he realized there was a way to tell trans stories in a way that was authentic. once he realized that was possible, he decided that’s what he wanted to do since that’s the skills he’s aquired in life and that’s what he’s lived through. he wants to use the talent he was given in acting and storytelling to bring something that many other people might not have seen and that they need to see. he is so grateful to be able to play a trans character on a such a large scale. he says that film is one thing but television is in your living room, in your home, so to bring that sort of representation into the homes of people that may not have otherwise seen it, or be able to relate to it, is going to change the way they relate to people in real life and how they respond to news. it will feel personal and he is happy to be apart of that.

•rafa talks about what pride means to him. he shouts out the people that came before him that fought so he could be here today (directly and indirectly). he also talks about the importance of self reflection and self education because we need to recognize and learn about those who have come before us and allow us to take the stand that we currently do. he says the pride is the recognition of everyone, whether he knows them personally or not. he mentions that it’s important to recognize stonewall and the aids crisis when reflecting on our history. he identifies himself as out and gay (we knew he had a husband right and previously said he was in the lgbtq community but this is the first time he labeled himself correct?). he talks about ryan murphy, and how he makes television for everyone who has been oppressed. he says that pride is also embracing everyone in the lgbtqia+ community. he says that as a community, we do a great job at advocating for ourselves in but there are other issues that need to be addressed such as racism and transphobia that still exist within. he says that who are we to tell other to accept us if we don’t accept ourselves fully and we need to take responsibility. pride is calling people out, calling people in, bringing it to the light, self education, and celebrate who you are.

•brian talks about how you don’t have to be an activist or an expert to contribute or be apart of this. there are people out there who have dedicated their lives to advocating for change and building the framework for the stuff we are seeing now so you don’t have to be an expert in something to contribute. just by having conversations with friends and family, or calling out people when they say/do something problematic or by educating yourself can have an impact. he also talks about ways to use your position or talent to create a path for someone who has the experience to come in an amplify the message. he says it’s important to recognize when to step out of the way and let someone’s voice be amplified if it’s not your place to speak on their behalf. he says you don’t have to be an expert or have the skills bc there are people around you who do and will step up.

•rafa talks about coming out in hollywood and if he felt pressured to keep his identity a secret when he was starting out. he says that growing up in brazil, it was ingrained to be strong and not talk about it (he says some specific word but i can’t pick it out). he came out when he was 19, right after college and he didn’t know what he was doing when he came out but he needed to get it off his chest. coping with coming out and having just moved to nyc, he says the shame was always there since it was happening in the most formative years of ones life. he does feel pressured to conform to a certain type of behavior, then and now. but also recognizes that he feels this way and he doesn’t have to. he says that he tries to own up, be himself, and say the things that he wants to say (and if that’s gay, than nice, that’s the point :) he says that as soon as you own up to the way you feel, power is bound to happen. he says that being yourself, you aren’t sure how that will impact other people. when you help yourself, you allow others to do the same. he talks about how the blm movement encouraged to own up to who he is as an immigrant, latinx, gay man in this industry and outside of it.

•brian talks about his hope for the future with regard to fox’s tv for all. he says it’s phenomenal that he’s black trans man playing a series regular on a major tv network. he also notes that it’s a positive representation, playing one of the most heroic positions in society. and by putting a black trans person in that position is beyond significant. he wants to continue to see that expansion with more normalization. he praises ryan murphy for doing a good job bringing these stories to light. he wants to continue to see the representation of people who are nonbinary, genderqueer, disabled, and older trans people on tv. he notes that these roles should be significant as well, not just minor or side characters. many people feel alone in the community and their connection is through what they watch so it’s so important to show that in media. he says that kids need to see this kind of representation and that if he had seen a black trans father on tv as a kid, he would probably be on a very different path.

•rafa shared his last thoughts, saying how easy it is to act on emotions and go with the crowd when everyone else feels the same way and the same time. he thinks that the way to keep it going is when all the emotions are gone and we are left with rationality, is when we need to be strongest and push for change. when it’s not easy or comfortable, that’s when the growth will start.

#rafael silva #brian michael smith #911 lone star

[blankdblank]

Hobbit Soulmate Pt 44

“Ooh,” You said lifting a large package of bars of soap that were strawberry scented that with a smirk you added to your cart. To go with the strawberry shaped soap trays that were on clearance for the upcoming seasonal shift you’d grabbed all of allowing the worker to then grab the leaf shaped ones to go with the rest of the new home decor they were getting in. Ignoring your body’s ache at your lack of sleep on your first night in the new place until you’d curled up on the loveseat from your former sitting room now in your own living room watching tv until you dozed off a couple hours before dawn.

Bath mats and a fuzzy carpet soon to be shifted for new ones you had laid in your cart that would make for a fun walk home managing all this. Somehow some oversized towels were on the clearance aisle as well you added to the cart that would go well somewhere in your numerous bathrooms. In reaching for an odd mirror coated decoration you couldn’t make out its use your body flinched at Adrien’s voice saying. “You really went fire engine?” His eyes looking you over after you managed to catch the thing you’d hands had let go of then caught his eye finding a hint of surprise he’d frightened you. “You’re supposed to be going blonde soon. That’s going to make you pink now. Good job.”

“It washes out. Only lasts a couple weeks. Been sleeping on a towel to save my pillow. Keeps rubbing off.” You said looking down to the mirrored thing you put back in its spot then moved on luring him behind you.

“How many roles have you had on film?”

“Um, fifteen? Maybe, why?”

“And you really went and dropped four million on a house in New York. Must have gave you one hell of a payday on those films to make you think you were safe to drop that kind of coin.”

“Wasn’t four. And it’s not just my home. My dad’s here and my friend rents the basement apartment and my fiancé when he’s not working in England will be living with me as well. Not to mention future babies that wouldn’t have made it easy to keep by bed and a half apartment I just left. Plus I baby sit for my cousins.”

His brows furrowed in confusion moving to look you over as you eyed a wall of hangers for the best deal, “How can you have a half bedroom?”

“Well it might have been a closet, it did have shelves and bars in it, but it was big enough to fit just a bed inside, so that was my guest bed to go with my pull out in the sitting room if I had a guest while my dad was there.” A pack of single and combination hangers were added to your basket and he moved with you to the supply of hampers you grabbed four of.

“Why do you need four hampers?”

“Laundry chutes. Dad added them. Stairs to the basement aren’t the best for carrying hampers.” You caught his eye saying with a twirl of your finger, “Spiral steps.”

“And who would put spiral steps in a brownstone?”

You shrugged, “Someone obviously with more imagination than you, those steps are beautiful.” Looping back around again some bath salts were grabbed next to go with some exfoliating cream while he grabbed a new pair of nail clippers and shaving supplies coming back to your side when you chose a face wash with his eyes scanning over your cart glad he missed your choosing the period supplies you’d chosen. “Excited for New Zealand?” You asked luring his eyes back to your face.

“I’m always excited to travel to new places. Been a bit hard to reach Naomi though and hear about how she feels on all this.”

“She’s filming in Venice.” That parted his lips, “We are friends, you know, me her and her Mate Liev. She told me she had a dream role she’d been dying to audition for that’s why she dropped from Kong, to have her dream role. If you want I’ll email her to call you if you like. To confirm.”

“So you’re saying she’s fine with you taking over her role?”

“Everyone seems to be but you.” You answered, “Don’t worry, a lot of people have doubts on me at first. If not my size then my inexperience or silence.”

“Be more worried about that trip to the hospital if I was footing the bill.”

That had you giggle and shake your head, “Called Peter the day it happened. They’re all fine, glad I got through my show which was the real test for them.”

“What even happened? Stomach bug? You were carried to the hospital.”

“I had a cyst that burst. Mainly soreness some nausea and fever, swelling, if any, passes in a couple days.”

“Cyst,” he said and inched closer, “That like cancer? Tumors and all that?”

Shaking your head you smirked up at him, “No, I mean broadly they are growths that feed mainly off of organs but no, I don’t have cancer and it was my only cyst. Just decided to explode one day.”

“You have been checked for cancer? I had a grandma went out like that, it’s not good.”

“So did I, I get yearly checks. Dad makes sure we all do. Mom died when I was little, doctors couldn’t find out what from, just got sick and was gone the next day. Doctors said I was fine and could have stayed home but my Dad doesn’t risk it, even if it may worry some weak kneed Producers.”

“Seriously, just, one night?”

You nodded, “Something that went after her brain. Been a few new viruses that sound a bit like what I’ve been told about it. Maybe there’ll be an answer in the next decade, if it’s anything viral or genetic then we can check that route too.”

His eyes were fixed on you in his try to soak in just how terrifying that must have been in the moment and how hard it must have been to get past that to perform and deal with the press on it too. “That’s fucking terrifying.”

“Yup,” you replied with a nod, “Not as terrifying as some people have it. Sometimes you don’t get answers.”

“Sounds like something you hear at a sermon.”

“Obviously we’ve been sitting through different sermons.” You joked back moving on towards the registers ignoring the odd supply of only pink and brown towels left on the shelves you would look into finding more for the bathrooms later.

On the next register over he rang up his few items and made his way outside to see you with bags in the hampers propped on your hip and rug pressed to your side on the walk out of the building. Shaking his head he said, “Hey, where are you going?”

Turning your head you saw him behind his sports car he settled his bag into the open trunk, “Home,” you answered.

Flatly he huffed and said, “Put your stuff in the car before you get hit by one.”

“You know this is going to throw a wrench in your plan to loathe me for all eternity,” you teased and his brows dropped challengingly.

“Just get your stuff in here before I put you in the trunk.” He replied.

“I’m wearing you down,” you said walking to the trunk settling the hampers inside while he took the rug and eased it inside until it hit the backseat barrier he went inside the car to unlatch the seat to ease the rug in the rest of the way closing the trunk in your path to the passenger side.

Once inside he asked, “Where am I going?”

“Take the exit by that fake tree thing.” He looked you over and you said, “I don’t live on 4th and Broadway, it’s five blocks over.”

“Where did you live before?”

“Subway stop over. Not far, Dad liked me in lower Manhattan close to his friend.”

After backing out once the engine turned over he followed the direction and all the way to the stoop he drove, pulling up to park and get out helping to pop the trunk after the quiet drive where he focused on the chatter playing over the radio. “Thanks, for the ride.”

Carefully he eased the rug out that you took hold of hoisting the hampers back to your hip and he said, “You should buy a car.”

“I got a metro card.” You said earning a huff on your turn for your stoop.

Onto the curb you hopped and you turned hearing, “Hey Jaqi,” a smile eased across your lips in seeing Keanu on his path out of his place, the large rug in your arms had him hurry over shifting his gym bag to take hold of it, “I got that.”

“Thank you,” you giggled out to his spreading smile in his glad to help moment.

His head turned to Adrien who said in his move to plop into the car again, “Make her buy a car.”

Keanu glanced from the actor closing himself inside his car to you as you said, “One minute he’s giving me grief I bought this place now he’s ordering me to buy a car and pretending he doesn’t want to be my friend.”

Softly he chuckled walking with you up your stoop saying, “Hard not to be worried about your safety even just meeting you.”

You unlocked the door, “Cuz I’m short isn’t it?”

Again he chuckled walking through with you to the stairs where set the hampers down taking hold of the rug, “Perhaps. I’m gonna let you get to decorating again, supposed to meet some special trainer at the gym.”

“Ooh, sounds like fun.” You said settling the rug on the stairs to walk him out. “Thank you again.”

“No problem,” he said on the stoop, “Place looks nice so far. Glad to see it’s not rubble anymore, old guy didn’t know what he had.”

“Shouldn’t take long, just coats of paint for major changes we can think of still. If you’re still in town in the fall we might have it ready for a dinner party or something when I’m back in town from work.”

“I’ll be there,” he said with a smile.

“How long,” you said halting him on the first step, “did it take you to decorate your place?”

“Never really decorated,” he replied, “I think a home is meant to evolve as we do. Had swarms of decorators and magazines calling on my place when I got on the screen a little bit. Not my thing, if it’s not yours either just be you. Hard to find families so down to earth in this business.”

You nodded saying, “Hard to be an introvert when people know you have space out here. Everyone wants an invite.”

“They’ll learn. Should see the tabloids I get house hunting in the West Coast. Just wait it out and enjoy the fortress of solitude Superman.” That had you grin in his trot down the steps waving on his way to the gym and you turned back to seal yourself inside.

First the bags were left on the steps to lift the hampers you took down to the basement laying out each in place under the chutes to trot back up to grab the soap dishes and soap to spread through the spare bathrooms on each floor. Right up to the top floor where after you hung up your new hangers you used on some more of your clothes the tags were taken off the new towels you dropped down your laundry chute that you listened to smirking at each echoing plop of their landing in the new hamper. While Lee was off at the rehearsals for his new off-Broadway play and your dad was with your landlord and their friends on his floor for a card game to the nursery you went readying the paint cans for the quilt patches once the windows were opened.

Already you’d coated the walls with the silvery blue background and with finer brushes straddling the top of a folding ladder you sat painting your way down on each patch and quote. Richard was working and while back in Russia your grandparents had left you a message that the dress designers were already on the wedding dress your grandmother had taken fresh measurements to double check that they would have the proper ones confirming that your body hadn’t changed since they had made the last gowns for your premiers.

All more than eager to handle this special gown that by appearance alone could pass as another special premier gown to be a bigger surprise for the world when the photographs would be revealed, if you would let them. They knew your family and you since over the years and wouldn’t take it personally if you didn’t blast the wedding day, knowing that even if word did leak that you were married secretly you would share their name even without sharing the pictures. Something they had a great respect for your young self garnering more stout in the business while keeping your head on straight and respecting those who help you along the way no matter how big or small.

.

Towel shopping with Liv came next in a day trip through the final half of the build and installation of the new beds followed the next day by a trip with Jen L to one of her video shoots before she was set to leave town. Each day getting further painted throughout while settling the freshly washed towels and sheets for the guest beds you didn’t have company for yet. Once your platform bed frame with cushioned headboard was put together again in the now aired out bedroom and settled on top of a second rug matching the one you picked for your not yet bought seating section. Nightstands were situated with your aquarium lamp in place that for a moment you sighed taking a seat on your bed again hoping for a sign to somehow make this room feel more like Richard could have snuck in and left you something of his. All of this being what you had mainly picked with hopes it wouldn’t be despised later on when he did come to see all you’d done.

A few more second hand shop trips with your dad and some more pieces were added throughout the living and common rooms, including some cool footstools you would decide where to put later. Among that a cushioned chair to go with your desk you put in your living room on the top floor and a standing mirror you got a tapestry of a horse to coat it when you weren’t using it in your closet to keep from scaring yourself in the middle of the night. All making for fun trips in the van taxi’s for the bulkier items that one driver in particular took a bit of enjoyment seeing you and him chauffeuring each piece home as you got it seamlessly between the two of you. Actually making the spare beds was another task to help you wear yourself to sleep along with vacuuming the carpets putting the sound proof floors to good test. Always bringing your dad on his own sleepless tidying tasks into your path.

Another couple sets of dishes and glasses were added to the mix to be washed and put away to accommodate any guests outnumbering the dishes you did have. Relaxing days to the scattered bits of sleep you had in this restless transition came between the magazine spread and a shoot for pictures including the rest of the cast for the Little Mermaid show in a special book of art to build more money for the charity. Along with a third for Julliard rounding up former students of yours, Lee and Tracy’s year like prior years to give a sort of progress report also for books to build up money for the school. Funds from which partly would go towards students like yourself that was on scholarships to attend, which would be noted in your bio.

.

Pop up baby beds and some toys had the cameramen outside doubling to record your so called ‘Baby Fever’ that a purchase of some diapers and wipes the day prior had set off. Two simple trips and now the press had a new explanation for the home purchase that had stunned them on size alone for your tiny self. Living with your dad and Lee, two notoriously tall men in their own rights, had hinted maybe the space was spent on ceiling height rather than the jaw dropping room count real estate moguls had estimated on by the lot size. But now, through the cameras you trotted across the curb on a couple trips moving your purchases from taxi to your stoop and back again until the same smiling driver had ensured you had it all before heading off with cash in hand with a chuckle to your third thank you for his patience.

One question through a sea of shouted questions had you glance at the asking bolero and Hawaiian shirt clad man, “Jaqi, what about King Kong?”

“What about King Kong?” You asked hoisting up the bags you’d move up to the door after having taken two of the pop up beds leaving the second set on the bottom steps still.

“If you’re planning for a baby won’t that ruin the filming? Or are you dropping out to be a mom?”

In a stunning giggle from you the crowd fell silent watching your trot up and down again to lift the second set of baby beds and say, “I’m not pregnant, I am however baby sitting a few days. Tons of big beds upstairs, but toddlers do tend to roll time to time.” The chatter picked up again to your second giggle, “Careful ride home guys, smells like rain.” That had them looking up to the clear sky confusing them while you shuffled the boxes and bags into the mudroom blocking view farther in soon gone behind the locked door. The weather comment had proven to be right as within an hour the sky darkened and the storm from Brooklyn had moved in to your part of town making good use of your shutters you latched fully to just have your lamplight and the sleep welcoming sound of the rain.

Through the nursery you settled the pop up beds and stashed the diapers and wipes in the empty cubies alongside the blankets and few other supplies you might need. The music box from Canada had been added as well out of reach for any baby. The final play area downstairs in the living room was last and enough to make your dad smile on his way down from watching the game in his living room. “When is Lily dropping her Hector off?” He asked seeing you back from adding some diapers and changing supplies to the bathroom near the kitchen to not have to climb three floors to get to them if needed.

“Should be soon. She’s got that flight at two. But that’s figuring in her time to apologize and insist she didn’t mean to burden me with her child and puppy on a two week ahead notice.”

Lowly he chuckled, “Her husband’s a pilot and she’s finishing her degree and interning at a great law firm, what’s to apologize for we’re family.”

“Apparently she’s spoiling my youth and stealing my free time with her toddler and dog. What she’s told me so far.”

“How many beds did you get?”

“Four, but they’re pretty big, like a crib tent mixture, pop right up and have a cushioned mattress inside so they’re not on a cot. It’s not the tallest one but it’ll save the painful teeter over the side wall for me. Be nice and comfy for them. You are okay with this?”

Smiling at you he settled beside you on the couch, “We are baby and dog testing the house, Hector will have his three cousins drop by tomorrow and we will see if the roof holds. It’s four toddlers, I could manage that in my sleep, so could you. Even the dogs should be good, got the latch fixed on the doggy door so they can come in and out as they please.”

“They were out of changing tables.”

“Old towels will do fine.” In a glance over your face he asked, “How did you get into touch with Kim again?”

That had you let out a breath, “Well, first month in Julliard I had a firefighter in the market shopping stop and called out Kim. When he came closer he said he was sorry thought I was someone’s wife he knew from a fundraiser that summer, said it was crazy how much we looked alike. Few months later there was a woman who stopped me on the street asking if I was Kim again. Every few months I’d hear the name again till I told another fireman to tell Kim Jaqi said hi.” That made him smirk and chuckle to himself. “And it sort of went back and forth, Kim says hi, George says hi.” You wet your lips feeling the sting of the loss of that kind man you barely had time to know as part of your family. “She had some work that brought her from Jersey, hair styling convention I think, something like that. I was out with one of the Queens who saw my doppelganger across the diner. Walked over asking if she was Kim, we sat and had lunch, helped her up after, she was pretty tip-able carrying her triplets still.”

“And she’s getting the restraining order tomorrow?”

“Yes, first thing. Said she could come stay tonight, her train is coming in pretty late, cheaper rates and less crowded for the stroller and for her dog.”

“I can imagine,” he rumbled looping his arm around your back guiding you into his chest, “And her in-laws haven’t bothered you?”

“Only saw them the once when they came to town hearing about the convention thing. Let her crash at mine when the line was down for repair delaying her ticket back. Called my lawyer to see if there was a good custody lawyer for her and George. Seemed to have it handled till he passed and now they’ve been pitching a fit since the triplets were born and hearing she’s got more on the way. Apparently they think their money will win them the babies cuz she’s on her own.”

“We’ll move her in here if we have to. Keep her from those goons.”

“Well, lawyers all say it’s very good for her, she has steady work on that morning Jersey show and they give great leave apparently and will welcome her back and the babies for their daycare center there after the birth. Been supportive. Just needed some good representation to startle their country club asshole.”

Again he chuckled in your settle more into his side, “Well I can only imagine who your lawyer picked and for how hard he slams for you I’m glad Kim has that on her side. Been nice to hear my cousin’s family was still safe when you found her. Now I get to meet his youngest grandbabies he would have loved.”

“I still can’t get over his parents, I mean, he gets lung cancer from the firehouse and helping with the Towers and they just try to swoop in like this. You know I think she was less stunned than I was on the whole suit until we heard the lawyer was going Pro Bono because of George. Told him I’d foot the bill but it just had him so enraged by what my lawyer told me. Even more so after having spoken to her just over the phone hearing how on edge this has put her.”

“I can’t imagine you wouldn’t find people with personal ties to the people lost in every corner of this city. Even further through the volunteer responders. For now though, we have Hector, Clover, Cleo,”

“And Oliver.”

“Wow,”

“Yes,” you giggled out, “the only boy name to match the girls’ exactly was Clem, which would have been Clementine, but he kept his legs crossed little jokester. But I love Oliver as a name, so cute, and Clover too.”

“Yes, Cleo is more regal hint to it.”

Brakes squeaked outside and you both got up and hurried to the door at the taxi there. Under the large umbrella hung by the door on the coat hook there you went down through the open front doors to meet her under the dry cover for you to accept the napping toddler out of her arms and the diaper bag she brought next followed by a larger bag your dad took. “Jaqi I can’t thank you and apologize enough.” From the floor in front of her feet the beagle there hopped out eager to be out of the car following the leash that your dad had accepted along with another bag the dog knew to have his food inside it.

“Now now, you go and kill at that business trip and leave me Moon Pie and the boy. Honestly you’d think I was the Goblin King or something to keep my nephew away so long.” Easing out her smile watching him nestle more against your chest glad he’d be safe for this last minute trip.

Your dad settled the second bag she offered in his grip saying, “Go and have a break we’ll watch the little guy for you, see you Tuesday.”

She nodded saying, “Packed tons of clothes and diapers and,” she said handing over a lunch box, “This should have enough milk for the two days.”

You shouldered that bag saying, “Have a safe flight.”

She nodded and gave you both one last reluctant goodbye glance. “Thank you.” Then shut the door eyeing her son as the taxi drove off and your waving turn. The curious puppy turned beside your dad’s foot to head inside. Up the steps you went ensuring the puppy wasn’t being rushed, and once locked inside he was let off the leash to sniff around the main floor. Keeping hold of the napping boy you walked deeper inside and settled with him still in your grip for a hushed film as your dad handled putting the milk in the fridge and arranging the spare bottles and jars of food she was introducing to his diet after setting the bags on the floor of the living room. The dog food was added to the pantry and bowls were set down, one filled with water as the beagle was out on the patio having passed through the doggy door your dad showed him he had use of.

.

Back against the pillows on the couch you slept with Hector still in your arms until a waking whine ended your rain triggered nap. Before you could blink yourself awake your dad had claimed hold of the boy he said, “Let’s check your diaper and get you a bottle little man.”

Uncurling your legs he had covered you saw Lee on his way into view from his staircase post shower returned from his rehearsal eyeing the baby and dog now stretching mid yawn on the carpet at your feet. “Ah, so the invasion begins.”

Softly you chuckled at his puzzled watch of your dad re-securing the diaper he undid confirming it was still clean then on his belly and butt portion of the diaper used a marker to write an H. Again the diaper was covered by the comfy pants he eased up again to hoist the grumbling boy up to his chest saying, “All clean, now, bottle time. Just warmed it for you.”

He left the room and Lee pointed to his back making you say, “You write the initial on the diaper so you can tell the difference. Or like my aunt you get temporary tattoos for their ankles or backs.”

“It’s just four babies, can’t you color code them to be easier?”

Again you giggled standing up to stretch, “Clearly you don’t have streakers in your family. Some of my cousins used to be naked to the diaper if you turned your back too long on them.”

“Huh,” he muttered and came closer eyeing the toys you had picked, “You went all out. What’s in the bags?”

“Lily packed us tons for Hector. How was your rehearsal?”

“Really good. Getting there. You didn’t go shopping in this did you?”

“Nope, beat the rain.”

It didn’t take long for your dad to be back feeding Hector from a bottle. Starting the distracting conversation that bled back to the kitchen for you to help him whip up a dinner that once across the table Lee watched the toddler in his high chair patting the table with his hands amusedly to your trot to the taxi that honked to let you know Kim needed help getting out. With a grin ignoring the rain down the stoop you went once boots were slipped on heading for the back door you opened seeing Kim, your taller twin, beside the child carrier holding Cleo with Oliver and Clover on her lap. “Let me get these munchkins for you.” The black Belgian Sheepdog behind the stroller popped his head up at your voice and squirmed his way around the stroller to hop out beside you. “Hey Big Papa.”

Into your chest you accepted the two six month olds that grumbled on your turning trot back to the stoop to hurry inside as your dad extended a hand to help the exhausted four month pregnant mother out to her feet. “Head on in.” He said with one hand taking hold of the folded triple seat stroller, bag of dog supplies and the child carrier with Cleo in it. Once turned however he saw her there with hold of the bags for her and the triplets and smiled guiding her to the stoop as the already paid driver shut the door to your dad’s thanks and readied to drive off again. “Come on in Dear.” He said and with him she walked in front of him in a slow pace to ensure her footing in the slick steps. Her tension in seeing the wet stairs relaxing at his arm with Cleo’s carrier resting against her back for some spare support until she was in the mud room and he set down the stroller and the carrier to help her out of her shoes. With Cleo’s carrier inside he kept his hand on her back guiding her in, “Let’s get some food in you.”

She nodded walking with him through the again locked up house she admired along the way to where she found you smiling settling her eldest duo into their high chairs with pecks on their cheeks. Both soon joined by their sister. In a glance between you both Lee’s brain registered the height as the only real difference between you, much like with Lily he’d meet in a couple days, other than the bruised mark on her finger for the loss of her Mate seen in her fixing the clip in her hair, except for the pregnant belly of course. “Lee,”

“Kim,” she replied shaking his offered hand and thanked him for the seat he eased out for her she lowered into. Her eyes shifted to her dog and Lily’s that both settled down against the wall to keep watch over their babies while your dad added Big Papa’s bowls and food beside Moon Pie’s.

With a grin you moved to bring the food over saying, “Now, a few helpings of this and I’ll pour you a nice bath.” Though you paused asking, “You don’t have trouble getting out of a bath do you?”

“No,” she chuckled out, “Not yet. These two aren’t nearly as troublesome as the triplets.”

“Well I got some nice bath salts and bubbles for you with mangoes and peach scents,” you said to your dad taking her overnight and diaper bag he took upstairs. “And a nice plushy robe and slippers too if you want to lounge and pretend you’re in a spa.”

That had her chuckle again, “No trouble with that. Don’t really lounge too much, but the bath will be nice might help to be calming, before tomorrow. Thank you for agreeing to watch them I don’t know how long it will take.”

“No need for thanks,” you said taking the container of milk bottles for her triplets you both added to the fridge and brought over to the stove to warm up with a bottle for Hector who was turned around watching you. Lee finished by bringing out the drinks and once the bottle was warmed helped to keep Hector from dropping his bottle and watched you feed two of the purple eyed raven curl sporting triplets while your dad fed the last upon his return asking her about her week and the trip from New Jersey on the train. All the way until you had managed to eat a bit then head up to start her bath and then help her up to the bathroom connected to the one with the bunk beds on the babies’ floor.

“So this is the baby floor, or will be when you guys aren’t visiting. The nursery is across the hall. You have a nice choice of four queens in there and let’s get you something to change into.” Softly she gasped eyeing the beds she was choosing from with her bag on one of them she opened to gather her clothes she brought into the warm bathroom settling them on the counter watching you add the salts and bubbles to the nearly full bath.

“Jaqi, this is too much.”

“Oh it is not. I do the same for my Mate all the time. He loves to soak too.” You shut off the water and turned to face her saying, “Robe is on the back of the door, slippers are in the pocket, take your time, we got the babies you get some rest alright?” She nodded with tears bubbling in her eyes and folded into your offered hug, “You take care of five babies and Big Papa all day. Let us take care of you a bit for once. So soak up and then cuddle up for bed. If you need anything just give us a shout.”

She nodded and you left her there closing the door to let her soak up her pampering relaxation session before a much needed early night in. Once fed and changed the four didn’t take long to start nodding off and up they were carried to the nursery snuggled into their own cribs covered with soft blankets. Each nestling deeper into sleep at your move to turn on the music box in your glimpse of Kim sneaking in for a glance of the nursery now with actual babies inside of it after an empty inspection of it earlier at her body’s refusal to sleep until they were in bed. Another hug was traded and then she went to test the beds that once spread out helped her to drop off to sleep herself until her alarm clock on the steps would wake her.

Pt 45

#Richard Armitage x Reader OC #Lee Pace x Reader OC #Baby Fever #Restraining Order #Practical Twins #Big Papa and Moon Pie

[kieraswriting]

Difficult to Give Chapter Two

Masterpost

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Patton spotted Roman waiting for him at their usual booth. He bounded up and sat down.  “So I got the new job!” He said excitedly. 

“That’s great!” Roman said. “Which one?”

“It’s a job at a pet store. So I’ll get to play with puppies and kittens and birds, and this one has a grooming service, and they said that they’d train me, so I didn’t even need experience!”

“That sounds awesome, Pat! Do they have hybrids too?”

“They do, but you have to have a background check and be trained specially before you’re allowed to play with them.”

“Would that be a problem?” Roman asked. 

“No, it just means I won’t get to for a while.”

“Oh, well that’s fine,” Roman said, “you’re so good with animals, I’ll bet you get to be assistant manager by the end of the year.”

Patton giggled, flattered. “I don’t want that, I just want to take care of the cute little things.”

Roman smiled. “And you’ll be the best animal carer out there.”

Just then the food came out. Roman had already ordered their favorites before Patton arrived. 

“So how are you doing?” Patton asked. 

Roman shrugged. “It’s fine. I got a role in that play. It’s not the one I wanted, but who am I to turn down a role?”

“Well, if you don’t actually want to do it, maybe you shouldn’t.”

Roman looked up, and Patton hurriedly added. “You’re a really good actor, and I’m sure you’ll do great as any character, but if you don’t actually want to, maybe it isn’t the best idea? There are other plays, other people that can see how great you are at it and give you the role you’d rather play.”

Roman smiled a little sadly and reached out to squeeze Patton’s hand. “Thank you. It means a lot to hear you say that… but I don’t think that other people would agree with you.”

Patton frowned. “Then they’re all blind!”

Roman laughed, but it didn’t quite reach his eyes. He turned back to his lunch. “So tell me more about this pet store.”

••^*^••

The tired employee left. He had come to tell them goodbye, that he was quitting. Logan was worried, but Virgil was nearly petrified. The tired employee had saved them so many times. If he wasn’t there, there would be another employee put in charge of them, and… honestly they had no idea what might happen. But it did seem likely that the tired employee was the reason that the store hadn’t gotten rid of them. If there was someone else, and they didn’t like them… 

“And there’s two more back here,” Logan could hear the manager saying. Soon the manager was visible, along with the newest employee. “They’re a whole different story. If you have any problems with them, let me know.”

The employee leaned over the cage and smiled at them. “Why are they so cheap? Are they really old?”

“No. They’re just as young as they look. We bought them for cheap, but didn’t realize then that they were rejects. The tall one is nasty and the dark one is deathly afraid of humans.”

“Poor things,” the new employee said, leaning over the cage again. 

Logan felt a strong inclination to hiss at him, but he knew that he couldn’t chance turning the employee against them. He did shift to hide more of Virgil from view. 

The manager moved on, and the employee followed her. 

Logan relaxed. They should be fine until the evening, when the new employee went around to feed the hybrids. 

He turned around and carefully laid a hand on Virgil’s shoulder. “They’re gone now. It’s alright. Can you breathe?” 

Virgil nodded, and then grabbed Logan, burying his face into his chest. Logan wrapped his arms around Virgil. “It’s alright.”

“What if he gets mad at us?” Virgil said. “What if he separates us? What if he talks to the manager and they get rid of us? What if—what if they kill us?”

Logan pulled Virgil closer. “He won’t get mad. He seems to be a reasonable human. We can behave and he won’t get mad. He wouldn’t separate us either without reason. And he won’t have a reason to talk to the manager if we don’t give him one. There is no reason to get rid of us, much less do something like kill us.”

“What if he isn’t reasonable?” Virgil asked. 

“Then we’ll have to appeal to his emotional side. Even I can do that on occasion.”

After a minute, Logan let go of Virgil. “The store’s about to open.”

Virgil nodded. He sat down in the corner opposite Logan and put his head down in his knees. 

Logan didn’t miss the look the new employee was sending them. It was an ‘aww, so cute!’ type of look, which could be used, but was dangerous once the employee realized that they were not, in fact, as cute as he would like to think. 

••^*^••

Patton was really happy. Not only did he get to help with the hybrids, but he was the special caretaker of two of them. The manger had said that they were difficult, but they didn’t look difficult, just misunderstood. And the poor things only had one blanket between the two of them! They were in a teeny little bare cage when the other hybrids were all together in a big cage that had toys and fun things. 

Patton got their dinner, which was… a sandwich? Hybrids could eat human food? He was really going to have to do some research on hybrids. 

The sandwich was cut into two pieces, but they were pretty tiny little things. Maybe they didn’t get as hungry as he would have thought. 

He brought the sandwich to their cage and opened the door. They didn’t try to come out, like some of the other hybrids did when the cage was opened. Patton set down the plate on the bottom of the cage, closer to himself, in hopes they would come closer to eat. 

“Hi there,” he said quietly. The little one did look pretty scared, and he didn’t want to make it any worse. “I’m Patton.”

A thought ran through his head. What if he could be the one that helped them get better? It worked in all the stories. Enough love and care could fix anything!

The taller hybrid grabbed the edge of the plate furthest from Patton. “Good evening.” 

Patton gasped. “You can talk?!”

The hybrid frowned and cocked his head. “It is common knowledge that hybrids are capable of speech.” He pulled on the plate to drag it away from Patton, and passed one piece of the sandwich behind him to the other hybrid. 

“I didn’t know. I think hybrids are adorable, but I haven’t seen many up close.”

The tall one’s face twisted, as if he had thought about something bad. “I suppose you haven’t touched any hybrids either, have you?”

Patton shook his head. “No, I haven’t.”

The tall one glanced behind him, and then turned back to Patton. “Let’s start this off properly, then.” He held out his hand. “It is nice to meet you, Patton. My name is Logan.”

As Patton shook Logan’s hand, he realized that he was thoroughly charmed by this little hybrid. “It’s nice to meet you, Logan. So, I’ve been put in charge of you two, and I was wondering if you wanted any more—“ Patton cast around for the right word. “Things.”

Logan seemed surprised. “Well, yes. Some bedding in particular would be appreciated.”

Patton beamed, glad to be able to do something for them. “Then I’ll get some!” 

He shut the door and went into the supply room. He got two blankets and two pillows. That way he could take the old one and wash it. 

When he got back to the cage, the sandwich was completely eaten, and the plate was near the door. Patton opened the door. 

“So here’s some new bedding, and I’ll take the old one.” He reached out to take the old blanket. 

The tiny hybrid made a sudden noise, and while it wasn’t words, Patton could hear the scared ‘No!’ that it communicated. 

Logan pushed on Patton’s wrist. “Don’t take it. And move your hand away from him. Please.”

Patton pulled his hand back. “I was just going to wash it.”

“That particular blanket is… special to us.” Logan explained. “We’ve had it a long time.”

“I’d give it back once it’s clean,” Patton promised. Then he remembered. “I’m supposed to give you two a bath tonight anyway. I could wash it at the same time as I wash your clothes.”

The smaller hybrid reached out and gripped the back of Logan’s shirt. Logan clenched his jaw. 

“Can I make a request?”

“Well, sure! That’s fine. I’m supposed to be taking care of you, anyway. What is it?”

“We are capable of cleaning ourselves. Would you give us privacy while we bathe?”

Patton frowned slightly while he thought. “Well, I’d have to pull the soap down for you, since it’s up on a shelf, but the bucket we use for bathing hybrids is pretty open, it’s not like a bathroom or anything.”

“But you would be willing to let us wash ourselves, then?”

“Sure, that’s fine.”

Just then, the manager called him. “Patton?”

“Yes, I’m in here.”

She looked around the corner. “I’m just about to leave. Can you close up?”

“Sure!”

The manager smiled. “Thanks! And hey, they’re not so easy to bathe, little one screams and bites and all, so if you want to, just leave it till tomorrow and I’ll get you some help.”

“Alright. Thank you!”

The manager waved, and walked out the door. 

Patton turned back to the two hybrids. The smaller one’s face was bright red. 

“I-I won’t bite,” he said, his voice only barely audible, but clearly ashamed. 

“It’s alright, I didn’t think you were going to bite me. Why did you do it before, though?” Patton said. 

He didn’t answer, just curled into himself again. 

“He has been-“ Logan said, pausing to pick the right word. “Mistreated by humans before. It’s only natural, with that kind of background, to want to defend yourself when you’re being manhandled against your will.”

“Oh. I see.” Patton said, feeling like he understood the hybrid better now. “I’m sorry about that. I wouldn’t hurt you, though.”

“We would still prefer if you would allow us to do things for ourselves as much as possible,” Logan said. 

Patton nodded. “Then why don’t you come with me and we’ll get the bath set up.”

Patton stood up and walked into the back, holding open the door for the two hybrids.

There was a large closet, and on one side was a washing machine and dryer, and on the other was a sink and an low, wide bucket. Patton started running the water, and when it was the right temperature he stuck a little tube to the tap and ran the other end over the bucket. He pulled down two towels and the soap and handed them to Logan. Then he collected the clothes and blanket, and started them in the wash with several other things that had been collecting in the dirty basket. He got some clean clothes and set them near the bucket, and then left the hybrids alone until Logan cleared his throat to get his attention. 

“Aww, you two look so much better all clean!” Patton said. 

Logan coughed slightly, looking away. “Well, we wanted to thank you, for letting us do that on our own.”

The other hybrid nodded, but didn’t say anything. 

“You’re welcome,” Patton said, choosing not to mention how cute they looked at the moment. “Are you ready to go back home now?”

Logan nodded, and Patton went in front to open the door. 

He left them alone in their cage while he waited on the laundry to finish. The manager had advised him to save them for last, since it would take as long as the laundry would, but that was clearly not the case. Maybe he could call Roman? He felt bad about doing it while he was still on the time clock, but it wasn’t like there wasn’t anything else he was supposed to do. 

He finally compromised and decided to text Roman. 

Roman, I got to take care of hybrids tonight!

I fed them and bathed them and got them new bedding.

That’s great! 

How’d it go?

It was fun! 

They wanted to do it mostly

themselves, so I didn’t have much to do. 

I’d imagine. 

Really?

Because the manager thought that it

was going to be really hard. 

Probably the manager wanted you

to pick them up and bathe them like

puppies, yeah?

Maybe?

She didn’t give specific instructions

Most people treat hybrids more like animals

than humans. 

I thought that that was

because they have animal instincts?

Kind of? It’s a long story. Talk when you get home?

Sounds great!

Just then the washer beeped. Patton put the laundry in the dryer. It’d probably still take half an hour to be done. Soon he was bored again. 

Maybe he’d go talk to the hybrids again. 

Patton went out into the shop area, where the soft noises of sleeping animals filled the air. He peeked over to where the hybrids were. 

In the large pen, there were several piles of sleepy hybrids, with a few single ones wandering around. Over in the back corner, the little hybrid was hugging Logan again. It. Was. Adorable! 

Patton walked over to their cage. “Hi, guys! The blanket is still in the dryer, but it should be ready soon.”

“Thank you, Patton.” Logan said, letting go of the other one so he could slip behind him. 

Patton sat down next to the cage and opened the door so they could talk more easily. “So, I know your name, Logan, and you both know my name, but I don’t know yours.” Patton tipped his head to the side to try and look at the other hybrid. 

There was a pause, as both Patton and Logan waited. 

“No.” The little guy said. “I don’t want to tell you my name.”

“Oh.” Patton had not expected this at all. “What am I supposed to call you then?”

The hybrid had clearly not been expecting that kind of response, and looked to Logan. 

Logan looked thoughtful, as if it were a problem, but one of a kind he liked. “A representative word… that’s not demeaning… and relatively easy to say… Anxiety.”

Patton immediately disliked the idea. It sounded mean, like a name a bully would give. But to his surprise, the other hybrid was nodding. 

“Ok. I guess I’ll call you Anxiety then.” Patton said, though he still felt unsure. 

It was soon after that Patton heard faintly the beep from the dryer. He pulled out the blanket that Logan and Anxiety wanted, which was easily identifiable, because it was the most worn down of all of them. Then he folded up and put away the clothes quickly. He gave the blanket to the two hybrids, locked up, and went home. 

#logan sanders #virgil sanders #roman sanders #patton sanders #platonic royality #platonic analogical #platonic logicality #platonic moxiety #Trust

[et-lesailes]

controversy

pairing: chris evans x reader

themes: light angst

word count: 1670

summary: dating chris evans while being a celebrity yourself, you are strongly encouraged to make choices that will benefit your public image. when chris’ latest movie tanks with the critics, your manager insists that one of these choices be breaking up with him.

taglist: @viarogers, @evanstush, @chibi-crazy, @chalamet-evans, @world-of-losers,@songforhema  @sebabestianstan101 @tanyam93 @b-val1@wonderwinchester@little-miss-exo​ @poerebel @bitchbabes-world @gogomez-509

note: requested by @immajustreadwritereblog // thank you for waiting, love! i actually really liked this request because i have a lot of strong feelings and opinions on the rsdr drama and so i had a lot of muse writing this. also, to anyone reading this- if you’re like me and hate sad endings (yes i’m a hypocrite for hating them yet writing one anyways ok i know), let me know if you’d like to see a part 2 ;)

** please send an ask if you would like to be added to my taglist of any chris evans related fics!

You sighed as your eyes skimmed what felt like the thirtieth article you were receiving via text that day, too tired and upset to properly read it. Your manager was spamming you with messages, insisting you call her, but you did not have the strength. You knew everything she was going to tell you; you had been in the business long enough to know how it all worked. It was no secret that the Hollywood life was twisted underneath all of the extravagant parties, lavish mansions and penthouse homes, and exotic vacations. You and your boyfriend weren’t very caught up in that life, anyways-- the two of you were much more simple, enjoying your time in your apartment with his dog, Dodger, and taking trips to visit his family in Boston-- nothing grandiose. Unfortunately, that did not mean you could avoid the gossip, scandal, and pressure that came from being a celebrity.

“Break up with him. You can get back together with him later, when this all blows over, but you can’t afford bad publicity right now. Not with your new movie coming up.”

You’ve read the message from your manager over and over again, feeling disgusted for several reasons. Not just from her suggestion, but because of the fact that this is the life you’re associated with. You chose this life, you chose to deal with these consequences.

You closed your eyes for a few seconds before finally looking at the article more properly. “Netflix’s Red Sea Diving Resort gives Chris Evans a white savior complex,” the title blared, making your eyebrows furrow in annoyance. However, the current problem in your relationship was not because of your image potentially getting ruined due to being in a relationship with the man now surrounded by controversy.

The current problem was that ever since the movie and its negative reviews, Chris had been a different person. The man who used to be constantly smiling, joking around, and showering you with love and affection 24/7 was now far more reserved and quiet, his eyes having lost their slightly mischievous twinkle. You completely understood. As an actress, you knew how difficult it was to be passionate about a project only to have it completely tank; it was especially difficult for Chris because of how hard on himself he was. He was selective with the roles he played-- he picked the ones that stood out to him, that meant something to him rather than going for anything that would give him more fame and success. You remembered how intrigued he had been by Red Sea Diving Resort when he had first heard of the idea, you remembered how excited he was to learn of the conflict and culture and how he hoped he could bring more awareness and meaning to it on the screen. You completely understood why he would act differently, and you understood why he might be slightly distracted from your relationship.

But it had been nearly an entire month since the movie was released, and you still felt as though you hadn’t had a proper conversation with your boyfriend in the same amount of time. You were not exactly happy about this; as his girlfriend, you wanted Chris to be able to communicate with you, to be able to let you help him when he was struggling. You were understanding in the beginning, but it was becoming too much now. You did not want to break up with him for the sake of your image, but rather for the sake of your own sanity. You missed having your best friend, but if he was not going to let you be his best friend, then did you have a choice?

One more chance.

You decided you would give him one more chance. Whether you were doing this to be fair or because you couldn’t let go, you didn’t know, but you didn't want to think about it deeper.

He walked into the apartment back from the gym and you looked up, your heart already stinging. In the past, he would have come straight to you, scooping you up roughly in his arms only to playfully bounce you around and tell you something silly along the lines of, “I like using you for lifting much better than weights, baby girl!” But now, he just came over with a mumbled hello, giving you a somewhat distracted kiss on the head before going into the bedroom.

You took a deep breath, forcing yourself to be patient. Coming over to the bedroom, you asked gently, “How was the gym?”

“Hm? Oh, it was good.”

“What’d ya work on today?”

“Oh, just arms and abs. Nothing special.”

“Are you free tonight? Maybe we could go out, get dinner or ice cream or something, it’s been a while…”

“Ah, I really wish I could babe, but I’m kind of tired today. I’m probably going to call it a night pretty early. But you should go out with some friends or something, maybe see if--”

“Are you serious, Chris?”

You finally snapped, nothing but misery and annoyance in your eyes as you looked at him. He blinked, clearly more concerned now as he straightened up from where he had been lounging on the bed. “What, baby?” he asked with a frown, and you scoffed, feeling tears stinging at your eyes simply from all the built up stress and frustration from the past month. “Are you really that oblivious? You’re seriously blind to the fact that we’ve practically been nothing more than roommates these days? When’s the last time you’ve even kissed me and meant it?”

He sighed deeply, running his fingers through his hair. “Look, you know it’s nothing to do with you. I’ve just been feeling a little stressed lately. The media’s really been killing me over here, doll.”

If he had told you this a couple of weeks ago, you would have felt sympathy, but not now. “The media’s been killing you for four weeks now, Chris, and I get it. It sucks. But I’m your girlfriend, you’re allowed to vent to me about this stuff, you’re allowed to tell me how you feel! Do you really think shutting yourself in like this and keeping quiet is going to do anything? You used to be so open with me, does that need to change because of a setback?” You sat down next to him, trying to blink back tears; you hated that you cried when you were angry, it really took away from trying to take charge of the situation. “We’re actors, Chris. This kind of thing happens, you know that. And it’s awful, and it makes us feel crappy, but we’re in it together now. You’ll bounce back from this because you’re an amazing and talented actor and you have fans who know that.” You sniffed as you looked away, talking softly, “You have every right to be upset about the situation. But you had no right to toss me aside in the process.” He seemed heartbroken as he listened to you, which only hurt you even more, but you ignored it as you stood up.

“Did you know my manager’s been nagging me to dump you for the past few weeks? Because of how Red Sea Diving Resort turned out?” You scoffed bitterly as you looked away, crossing your arms over your chest. “I could never, ever break up with you for something so shallow. You mean way more to me than some dumb Rotten Tomatoes review. But this, Chris? Ignoring me, shutting me out, wallowing in your self pity-- I think these things are all pretty good reasons as to why I should listen to my manager and end it.” You knew your words were harsh, but perhaps that was what he needed. A slap in the face, like reality often dealt out.

You looked back to him. He was quiet, there was pain  in his eyes. You waited, but he did not say anything. Making a soft noise of disappointment and disgust, you turned around, going into the closet and grabbing a bag, starting to throw clothes inside. This seemed to stir something within him; he immediately stood up with wide eyes, coming over and taking hold of your shoulders. “Baby, please. No. Fuck, I-- fuck, babe, I’m sorry. I’m so, so fucking sorry. You’re completely right.” He turned you around so that you were facing him, nothing but guilt and sorrow in his blue orbs. “And I should have realized it earlier. I don’t know what got into me baby, I’ve just been so damn worked up over this, everything else slipped away…”

His apology meant a lot, but you still couldn’t help but feel betrayed from all the built up tension. “And what if it’s too late for an apology?” you whispered, looking up at him with tears in your eyes. “What if the damage has been done?”

He looked down at you, his own eyes tearing up as he shook his head. “Please. No. No, baby, don’t leave me, I’m done sulking, I’m done being a fucking baby about this. I didn’t even fucking realize how bad it was, I know that sounds dumb but I was so caught up in all of the Red Sea shit. I know that’s not an excuse, but please, please baby, forgive me..”

You took a deep breath, wiping at your eyes. “I need some time, Chris, you really hurt me over the past month. I’ve made the mistake of giving the wrong people a second chance, and I need to think about if you’re the right person.” You could feel your heart tear apart as you saw a tear roll down his cheek; standing on your tiptoes, you wiped his tears as you kissed his cheek. “I’ll call you, alright? I.. I still love you, Chris. I just need time.”

With that, you took your packed bag and walked out of the apartment, forcing yourself not to look back at the love of your life’s face.

#chris evans imagine #chris evans #chris evans fic #chris evans angst #chris evans x reader #chris evans x you

[buddha-in-disguise]

Will this ever end?

Well I woke up to a shitstorm on Twitter and the Supergirl fandom, with David Harewood.

I can't say exactly what was said to cause David to post what he did as I haven't seen posts he might have done - but his subsequent reactions have unfortunately merely seemed to have exacerbated the issue and inflamed it.

My thoughts though before I go further into this. Also remember these are my own thoughts, I don't expect everyone to agree with me. However I hope I can make some kind of sense with what I'm trying to write down here.

Supergirl this season has one character I'm finding hard to relate to. This has absolutely nothing to do with potential storylines and relationship possibilty, but everything to do with what they have tried to do with William Dey as a whole.

I get the reason he came along in regards Russell and so the Andrea connection. That story made some sense.

What hasn't made sense - William being used as a journalist, when Nia is right there! Nia has barely had any screen time, and virtually none as a journalist; you know - her actual job. I'm not sure what the minutes on screen ratio has been this season between the two, but it has felt completely slanted towards William as a viewer.

First instead of Kara and Nia investigating Leviathan after William was 'exposed' in the earlier episodes, now Nia is sidelined again, because they want Kara to team up with William to investigate Lex.

Why? Why do they need that journalistic pairing, when Nia - who as a Superhero, is better placed if danger from Lex occurs. But no, they're making it about Kara having to work with William because Lex threatened to kill him.

They have a Superhero who is also a journalist right there!

Right. There.

Personally this simply makes no sense to me. Plus if I am being honest, William as a character is bringing nothing to the table for me. He feels more like a token male character because James has left.

That brings me to Dansen. While we had some scenes before Crisis, considering at SDCC we were being told how Dansen would strengthen after those events, again we have seen seconds worth of screen time of Kelly, let alone the lack of Dansen.

We accept it isn't the Dansen show and this isn't about that, but again it feels as if it is being pushed way into the background & Kelly is being underutilised. She works for Obsidian North, yet was nowhere to be seen at the launch of the new tech. Sure, it isn't her area of expertise within the company, but you would expect senior employees to have been at such an important launch.

Plus, she is ex-military, but again nothing has been utilised about that part of her character.

The problems with both these issues is these characters are LGBTQ rep on the show. Representation that is already severely underrepresented on TV. Even allowing for the LGBTQ rep on SG (which is above average), it is still well below the ratio percentages that GLAAD show as being the main demographic of viewers.

So LGBTQ fans also look at non-canon representation as well. They have to, because LGBTQ on screen numbers simply don't reflect what the viewer numbers are. I made a post about it to try & highlight this, which I will link to.

But needless to say, LGBTQ fans also generally have difficulties that a lot of people don't have to face.

This brings me back to David and his lack of understanding that many fans were (looking through the comments), trying to explain to him. That criticism wasn't aimed at him per se (at least that I saw), or his directing or acting of that episode. If criticism was aimed at him, that was and is wrong.

The main criticism I saw was being aimed about elements that the writers and producers had done (Winn's wife being another aspect that was problematic). It was unfortunate that it has coincided with David's directorial episode.

Look, David can direct an episode wonderfully, it can have some great aspects to it, but it can also be highly problematic to some fans, & receive valid criticism for it.

For example, the latest episode of Batwoman. The Alice/Beth story was great. The acting superb. What I found worrying was the way they made Sophie feel guilty for legitimate reasons why she had led a closeted lifestyle. That lifestyle is valid, for Sophie and many LGBTQ people, and for good reason, including keeping some people safe from harm. I felt it was a clumsy attempt for Alice to get into Sophie's mind; it could've been tackled other ways, so it felt wrong they used her sexuality as a way to achieve that. Being closeted for many literally keeps them alive. So that was one hell of a poor choice in my opinion. So, great episode, valid criticism.

I personally find it sad that David hasn't seemed to understand this. Especially considering he only recently tweeted about the lack of diversity on TV for black actors. His argument there applies to what the LGBTQ audience have been trying to explain so many times, both with Supergirl and beyond that.

Except for LGBTQ it goes further, as not only are there LGBTQ, there is further intersectionality that runs through us as a group.

So for example, Kelly is LGBTQ, but Black. She is also a woman. All areas that struggle in their own sphere and marginalised in their own right. Added together, and it makes her representation even more important.

Nia Nal is Transgender. And a woman. Also two areas of intersectionality. If we don't listen to all marginalised people, especially when that intersectionality comes into play, we fail.

David is Black.

But also heterosexual, and male, and honestly, seeing his reaction I felt the heterosexual male with no understanding what the LGBTQ audience was trying to explain come through far more than I imagined I would.

Now of course, it could be David had no intention of coming across in that way. Yet the way he liked certain posts also felt as a complete dismissal of the LGBTQ community as a whole. It felt like the reactions from SDCC 2017 all over again.

Without a doubt some fans were taking it too far. I get that. I don't know how often I have written about fandoms and the way some can behave. However, if David is putting everyone in a fandom as all being problematic (as his liking of Tweets seem to suggest), then that is a very poor take indeed by him, and one I hope he considers.

By taking those steps, he has angered some fans more than was necessary in my view. Like Staz the other day, I know we are all human and sometimes react emotionally. Unlike Staz, who tried to clarify his words and apologised for any upset he might've caused, David seems to have gone the other way and doubled down against fans, blocking even respectful tweets to him that were trying to explain a point of view.

Now before anyone thinks I am hating on David, I'm not. I have supported much of his work.

I am though disappointed that for someone who is marginalised himself, has had mental health struggles, he has seemingly failed to understand that LGBTQ are just as marginalised (if not more so) than he is, & that because of the issues LGBTQ people face, mental health problems are extremely high versus the general population. That some of his wording and liking of tweets have felt like a complete slap in the face for many, who have legitimate concerns about Supergirl at the moment.

As I say, I get some fans take it too far, in all areas of the Supergirl fandom. Outright hate towards anyone is absolutely unacceptable. I also understand that we all react at times that is instinctual because we feel hurt, and that reaction is not as good as it could be.

I just hope that rather than it implode more on us, that everyone takes a step back to try and calm down.

As for the issues of queerbaiting that has risen as a result of the teaser for the next episode of SG. Supergirl in earlier episodes of the season, used parallels to show Lena and Kara alongside canon relationships on the show. To then have other people call fans delusional for seeing those scenes as romantically formulated is not okay! It really isn't. That's hateful, because like it or not, those elements are there.

When I have people who don't watch the show asking if Lena and Kara are together because of clips they might see (straight people at that), that isn't delusional.

But, that isn't an issue the cast should address or make judgement on, or fans to insist they do.

It should though be something asked of the producers and showrunners, because if they have no plans to go through with it - it has been outright queerbaiting this season. Up until this year, they've not done things with notable intent to parallel other relationships. This season they have. The shift felt deliberate.

I know ultimately that this show is about Supergirl, but it is also about those around her as family & friends. I understand there are only so many minutes in one episode. What I don't understand is why those precious minutes are going to a character, when they have one perfectly placed to do the same role. Why they have to potentially explore another relationship, when we have one canon relationship & one relationship that while isn't canon in terms of romantic, it is a big story in terms of best friends, both seemingly sidelined. Which brings me to the Kara fighting for Lena's soul aspect. Again, I am not seeing a lot of fighting for anything, except more and more fans fighting themselves and cast.

I will be honest, I had high hopes for this season. I also knew it was likely going to be pretty confusing at times since it was given as 'our Black mirror season' and 'nothing is as it seems.' I accepted that.

However, all it seems at the moment is a jumbled mess from pre and post Crisis. They just doesn't appear to be any cohesion at all, which is making it really difficult as a viewer. Add in the changes post Crisis and it feels even more of a mess.

Of course, they could bring in more cohesive elements soon, but considering that we know episode 13 is 'It's a wonderful life,' and Alex Danvers in a later episode is wearing a Super suit - I just sense this whole 'nothing is as it seems' side we appear to be getting isn't changing any time soon, & with episodes running out, with so many strings running through at the moment, it feels really discombomulated. If by seasons end, they pull it off and you can look back and see how it's played out as a whole, I will be the first to say well done for that part.

I get that as more characters are added to a show, it can make shuffling screen time for those already established characters harder to achieve that will please everyone, especially when we get invested in those characters.

I do though think right now Supergirl feels chaotic beyond expectation, and no end in sight. I feel there have been too many character additions this season (particularly Andrea & William) that is taking screen time away from Kara, Alex, Nia, Lena, Kelly et al.

That is causing confusion for fans, that is also beginning to become frustration. That frustration is spilling over. Add in the genuine and legitimate concerns over the LGBTQ issues that have arisen, and the frustration has built even more.

Again though, that is something we need to be asking of the producers and show runners, and not pulling the cast into it.

Let's all try less to score points against each other, or make generalisations, as none of that is helpful.

If you can't do that, you will get other fans calling you out.

Let's all learn to step away a bit more when it is obviously getting to the point rational discussion isn't working, to let things calm down.

We all need to try and do better.

#supergirl #davidharewood #supercorp #lgbtq representation

[mediawhorefics]

I'm so torn about the question of queer art being represented by non-out people. I feel like when you create something (write a story, paint, etc.) then ok it's self expression. But when you take on a role, you're taking on a job position, a job position that out actors, who have taken the risk of being with in all its consequences, should be considered as an absolute priority. You can tell the stories who you choose to embody those stories and give a job to? Go for those who are out.

i totally get that point of view and i think it’s absolutely valid. i’m just not sure i fully agree yk? like.. yes absolutely give out actors lgbt roles, i think it’s super important, but it’s such a slippery slope, esp. in an industry like this where we know so many people are closeted. and there isn’t necessarily something inherently ‘physical’ to gayness that needs to be ‘preserved’ by casting a queer actor vs deaf actors and deaf roles, or trans actors and trans roles, or any ethnic minorities, where casting outside that actual group is a massive issue. like... ofc an lgbt actor could bring depth to an lgbt role the way a straight actor couldn’t, but research exist for a reason yk? it’s what actors do to put themselves in the shoes of people who live different lives than they do. idk, i guess it’s more important to me to have people behind the camera telling those queer stories than in front of it. but it’s a super complicated thing and people are allowed to have all types of different feelings about it. i’m not saying i’m necessarily right feeling this way, it’s just how i feel yk ? 

it’s just really frustrating to me how quickly people are ready to go on a witchhunt the second someone ‘seemingly straight’ touch any lgbt story/lgbt art. 

like... at the end of the day, if we stick to ‘ownvoices’ only, it’s just an excuse for every ciswhitehet to write/participate in projects only including ciswhitehet experiences and wash their hands off the whole thing because well.... that’s their own experience and they can’t create outside of that...... tho i guess that applies more to stuff like writing than acting. but yk what i’m trying to say ??? it’s a difficult balance to find...... 

and on the flip side, does it mean lgbt actors can’t/shouldn’t take on straight roles ?? should they be typecasted within the limits of their own sexuality ?? do they even want that ?? like... where do we draw the line? not that i’m saying that’s what you’re saying, i’m just asking those questions in general yk. obvs the issue is more complicated than that and the point is for marginalized folks to get the roles that belong to them when there are so little of them to begin with..... but still. 

basically, it’s very complicated and people are entitled to their various opinions about it. i just get really angry/defensive because this myth that being out is the pinnacle of lgbt experience and what everyone should aspire to can be really harmful in my opinion. the idea that the closet is automatically associated with shame & self-hatred or that people in the closet are not fully ~formed lgbt folks yet or whatever..... idk the narratives surrounding coming out make me kind of uncomfortable sometimes. being in the closet doesn’t necessarily mean being dishonest or not living your truth or being ashamed or whatever else. it can of course and coming out can be a wonderfully liberating experience. but there are millions of reasons why people don’t. and i think as a community we could do more to support that. so yeah, i get a bit protective mama bear lol. but i get what you’re saying <3 

#about me #this just became an incoherent rant #im so sorry anon lol #basically i have a lot of thoughts #not all of them fully formed #and some maybe a bit conflicting #but im aware its complicated #i certainly feel that way lol #Anonymous

[princess-of-the-corner]

lol I want to elaborate on that "Ed goes undercover" fic I dreamed up so rip me and my usual productivity!

this happens when Ed's like 13 I guess?

Anyway some shit happens and the military has to investigate a middle school. My dream was vague but I remember a something about a drug ring. Weird but it was a dream. 

I'm running with it and tweaking the idea.

So like, someone is using the students as a delivery system. Sneaking product or money into lockers with a note on instructions of where to deliver, and threats of what would happen if they don't.

One kid reported it to her parents, who happen to be military people who can begin the investigation. 

They think sending in undercover agents would be the best way to investigate without tipping their hand. They want to have someone investigating as a teacher and a student, as they would have different access. 

Usually the 'student' would be just some short and babyfaced military person, but since they do have an actual 13 year old on payroll, special requests are made. This isn't Ed's usual type of job, but you know. 

So yeah Ed's a little upset about the undercover thing especially because he's not the best actor.

However, everyone's expecting him to throw a tantrum over the fact that it's an all girls school with uniforms that include skirts.

But he's chill with that.

Until he realizes everyone expects him to be upset and is like "am I supposed to be? What's wrong with me???"

Some elaboration on "baby's first gender crisis".

Yeah Ed's initially chill with the "pretending to be a girl and wear a skirt" thing. Then everyone expects him to be upset. At first he questions why he would be, then he questions why he isn't. 

And then when Ed first sees himself in the full disguise... he actually likes it. Combined with the previous stuff, it gets really confusing for a while.

Though this being Ed, he doesn't talk about it to anyone. 

That said, the confusing stuff gets worse as time goes on in the disguise and he realizes he's okay with people thinking of him as a girl. 

Back to the undercover stuff!

They don't send him in entirely alone, because they have an undercover 'new teacher' as well.

Which is Hawkeye posing as the gym teacher.

I chose Hawkeye because

out of the main cast she's the least suspicious and

while it should be one of the people who usually handle these cases, Mustang kinda takes over after they make Ed get involved because he wants to make sure the kid is safe. (No there's no parental instincts involved with that! He just doesn't want to deal with the paperwork if Ed gets killed!!).

I'll explain the Gym Teacher thing later. 

Obvs Ed has to have some fake identity.

Not only because, you know, pretending to be a girl.

But also even just the last name might connect back to him and blow his cover.

I remember a lot of genderswap Ed stuff back in the day using "Eden" and while I think that's a dumb fucking name, it's exactly the kind of bullshit Ed would pick.

Not sure on a fake last name outside of making a 'Nancy Drew' joke.

Another part of the undercover thing is the Safehouse.

Since people would notice if ‘Eden’ goes ‘home’ to either a military building or a hotel or something, they have a safehouse set up for him to stay.

And of course, since anyone going to said house to investigate, or even if one of the teachers assigns a group project and Ed has to play along, they’d expect a family.

So you have Mustang playing the role of ‘dad’, which of course has nothing to do with any parental instincts!

Fuery’s also there, though his cover story is ‘uncle who just broke up with his gf and is staying there after she kicked him out’. Though his actual job is to keep Ed and Mustang from fighting because Hawkeye doesn’t trust them alone.

Fuery also helps Ed with the ‘being a girl disguise’ because fuck you Fuery is trans now so he knows the most about teenage girls.

He also picks up on Ed’s whole gender thing and tries to tell him ‘hey if you want to talk about this, you can talk to me’, though Ed doesn’t quite pick up on the hint.

Anyway, at the school, only two people know about the undercover thing.

One is the principal, who was very concerned for her students and allows this all to go down. While she doesn’t contact Ed directly, she’s there to bail him out of trouble if he gets caught.

The other is the student who reported this shit in the first place. I'm calling her Jessie. 

Jessie's job is to help Ed blend in as a student and "normal girl".

Initially under the guise of "showing the new student around" and then pretending to strike up a friendship so 'Eden' doesn't seem suspiciously antisocial. 

Okay. So the reason that Hawkeye’s the gym coach

Since Ed can't usually investigate stuff during class, they have him skip this class.

According to "Eden's" file with the school, she has a doctors note to skip gym because of the Automail. Supposedly she's been cleared for general walking around, but strenuous activity like Gym would be harmful.

So since 'Eden' would just be sitting in the bleachers all class, the 'coach' gives her a pass to study in the library. 

Of course Ed spends that time poking around. Trying to catch someone outright opening lockers and setting up deliveries, sometimes checking storage closets or empty classrooms.

If he gets caught he pretends that he's just a little lost. 

One obstacle Ed runs into is another student named Amber.

Amber is your typical mean girl

And of course, Ed being Ed, he stands up to her.

Which infuriates Amber and makes her target him.

Ed easily brushes off all her attempts because he has so much more to deal with and her insults don’t mean much to him.

Which then gets Amber to get more frustrated as all her usual tricks don’t work.

It quickly turns into a weird rivalmance

Ed’s a little oblivious to that

Amber’s confused because she thinks Ed is another girl and is like ‘wait, am I gay???’, which adds to her frustration with him.

So there’d be a lot of shenanigans that I won’t go into here, but would go into if I wrote this out in full. But it’s mostly Ed getting to be a normal-ish kid, and also a little bit of gender crisis because said ‘normal-ish kid’ is a girl. Along with various middle-school drama. 

Anyway, one day on Ed’s investigations he notices a Teacher doing some weird shit and decides to investigate.

He starts by breaking into the classroom to search, with his usual ‘sorry I got lost/I was looking for something I dropped earlier’ excuse at the ready

Unfortunately, Amber followed him, she finds him suspicious and also their rivalmance is a thing.

He catches her following him, but she threatens to go to a teacher and report him breaking into a classroom.

So he’s like ‘fine, follow but stay quiet.’ While he doesn’t explain in full yet, as he doesn’t trust her, he does tell her to look for anything suspicious.

They find another of the delivery packages in the teacher’s desk, though this one is addressed to Amber, which freaks her out.

Despite none of the girls other than Jessie coming forward, rumors had been going around so Amber was able to connect the dots.

At some point during this, the teacher comes back.

They get caught, then knocked out.

When they wake up, they’re both tied up in a supply closet.

Ed easily gets out, as his hands were tied in a way that let him access his Alchemy and easily break the rope.

He unties Amber, but has to take a minute to calm her down because she’s in full panic attack.

Luckily, well, unluckily I guess, Ed has experience in calming down from that and can help.

They go to escape and run into the teacher again.

This time, Ed’s not caught by surprise and is done fucking around.

Alchemy time bitch!

Ed goes to try and call Mustang, but it turns out that he’s already there.

Jessie alerted him when Ed disappeared, so they knew something went sideways.

They both end up going with Mustang to whatever military bullshit to give statements.

Ed explains the whole thing to Amber on the way.

Amber is fucking reeling at all of this.

She doesn’t voice her confusion of ‘Wait, we had a rivalmance. And I thought you were a girl so I had a crisis over liking girls, and . But now I know you were a boy so does that cancel out that, or do I still like girls?

While there, Amber mostly sticks by Ed because he’s the only one she knows.

Well, she knows Hawkeye because she was the gym teacher (and now Amber knows that was a cover too). But while she’s nice, Hawkeye’s a little too intense for her.

But they end up talking a little until Amber’s parents get there.

Also featuring the Rivalmance going somewhere and we get Ed’s first kiss.

Said rivalmance doesn’t go much further than that though but still it’s a Moment™

#fma:b #baby's first gender crisis

[nemobookaholic]

What if…

I don‘t know if this is a mistake or not, but it feels like the universe is giving me signs to do this,… so here I go.

Recently I‘ve started to write a Loki fanfic. I was so anxios about the english grammar, that I asked a friend to check on it. She read it and told me, it‘s not that bad. But she‘s still very busy and even if I asked her, to check on the grammar and send it back to me, it feels like it takes like forever. And this happens to me with all my betas and all the storys I gave away. I‘m still afraid to do this step, but I want it out there. Today it feels, like I have to or miss the chance, so here is the first part of ‚What if…‘ I hope it‘s not that bad and I would be happy about constructive criticism.

What if... Loki where a 21st century woman?

Scene 1

‘I hate this place! Not that I haven’t seen worse, but it’s dangerous, even for me. I’m starving, this whole planet is inhospitable! It’s more than time to leave. Only that using the Tesseract to teleport, takes a lot of power... wouldn’t be that hurtful, if I hadn’t had to escape from, in my opinion, this way too annoying bastard. And he still follows me somehow. By Odin's beard, I should have killed him the time I had the chance. Stabbed him in the back, of course, just without the expected result. Since I’ve left my originally realm, a lot of things happened, mostly not to my satisfaction. Me sitting on the throne I deserve wasn’t one of it. The only higher court is this piece of stone I am sitting on. Would be utterly boring, to rule this world. It doesn’t even deserve that name, it’s a desert. Thinking about it, why not go and visit Midgard again? I haven’t seen my brother in ages and I guess that’s the place to meet him. I gain all the power the planet spare with me and use it, to start a new, different adventure. One that might bring some mischief!’

We see Loki disappear from the stone dessert. Where he sat seconds before, like it would have been the throne of Asgard, legs open and hands on the rocks that surrounded him. Eying the environment with disgust, out of a pale face and dark rings under his bloodshot eyes.

Everything he leaves behind is a blue gleaming, which last for a while, until it fades completely. In the end there is nothing left to proof his short residence.

Scene 2

We are inside a crowd. In a well known theatre, that has an open roof and reminds us of an wooden O. It’s dark outside, but the crowd standing around us, keeps us warm. We stare up to the actors on stage, who are playing a fairy tale in a midsummer night’s dream. Suddenly the people around us start to whisper and raise their heads. We follow their sight to the balcony where a man, bound in leather and with golden horns on his head, stands. Obviously he isn’t part of the cast. Voices, about some promotion gag, becoming louder. How well do we know about Loki from all those movies and comics? But this guy is new and definitely not Matt Damon. As we can see, he isn’t just playing a role and his behaviour is far from method acting. His fascial expressions are extraordinary, like a man who literarily came from another dimension. We can read from his body language, how much he enjoys the crowd cheering at him. Until a sudden change on his face shows us a second of fear, like he had just remembered something. Indeed he is hiding it pretty well, as we start to question our power of observation, thats how fast he got back control.

Loki is leaving gracefully, walking backwards and that’s the last thing we see of him.

‘Those puny mortals are staring at me. They seem pleased by my appearance. It’s joyful to have them cheering at me, quite different to my last visit. Thinking of it makes me realise, I’m not out of danger yet! How could I forget about this stupid Agency, that is somehow connected with Thor. It wasn’t a good idea to show my face to all those people. Maybe one of them is in the crowd, already calling for the bloody Avengers - this time I don’t have an army to my support. Even if I’d decimated their number last time, who can tell if they didn’t recruit more, since I’ve been gone? I’ll have to go now! I’m able to get out of here without losing my face. A god doesn’t run away, even though it would be wise to get disguised for a little while. Of course I could become an animal, but that’s what Thor would expect of me and probably figure it out quickly. No, I have to do something he would never expect. Speaking the spell, I think of all the women I know, with mother leading the way - for fathers sake am I tired! Didn’t even realise it until this very moment. I feel the darkness coming closer, as I slide down some wall, sense my body transforming right before the darkness takes over.’

We caught Loki again, sitting on a corner, head leaning against the wall behind him, eyes closed. His body looks strange. It’s difficult to see the shape of it, like you would try to see trough some fog, surrounding his skin. His hair becomes lighter every second until it reaches the colour of sand. We can’t see it, but even his body shrinks a little. The wardrobe changes from asgardian to, probably stolen out of Natashas closet. Loki wears black jeans, a green t-shirt and a also black leather jacket now. Underneath the shirt a breast starts to grow, while other ‘things’ become less until they disappear. This is so much more than a simple illusion and Loki can be happy about being unconscious, so he doesn’t have to feel the pain of his transformation.

Scene 3

As for Loki, we know he is a clever fellow. Maybe that’s what brings doom on his own occasion. We remember, he is a she now and she’s still sitting there, holding the Tesseract, which slowly slips from her hand.

To give us certainty, yes he used it as a source of power to make a true transformation, not willingly though. He was at a state of weakness, where he didn’t think much about his actions. And he needed the support, as for this world we can sense slight traces of magic. Of course every use of sorcery has it’s price and we can assume, that if Loki had seen the bill, he probably wouldn’t be willing to pay for it.

Anyway, events have been started and we will have to live with the consequences. For Loki it means, that there is an orange circle appearing out of nothing, not noticed by her mindless shell. Just a small one, producing a quiet sound, like wind howling trough grass. Out of this hole in time and space, we see a hand appearing, grabbing for the blue glowing cube. Taking it out of reach for the mischievous god.

She will sleep now, for a long while. Trying to regain some power. What she doesn’t know is the fact, that the dimension she slipped in so careless, doesn’t contain much witchcraft. What, well hopefully, will keep her busy, so the other realms can recover, at least, from her evil deeds.

And her slumber won’t be broken. Not even as two strangers cross Lokis path. For them it’s a broken, but still beautiful woman, sleeping in an unusual place. We sense the compassion on their faces. They share a long moment of silent conversation, just by expressions. The woman, a goth girl, seems to be wary about what she reads in the face of her companion. The guy indeed seems to be unafraid. He gets closer, grabbing Loki at her shoulder, shaking her. She shows no reaction at all.

‘Is she dead?! We should get help,’ the female says.

‘Still breathing. Don’t be such a chicken! I think she might be one of our kind … let’s take her home and allow her to rest,’ the guy replies.

‘You are serious, aren’t you? I can’t believe, I even consider helping you … come on then!’

The both of them take the girl between them, pulling her up, slowly starting the long walk home. It looks rather funny, for Loki is a tall woman and these strangers are smaller than her. They haul her more as you could describe it as carrying, but at least they’ll reach a house that they get into.

Meanwhile Loki still doesn’t move any bone, would have been helpful with the stairs actually. We don’t know if she realises anything of what is happening, but according to the abuse done to her body we may doubt it. Even when they drop her into a bed, she’s like a corpse.

‘Kevin, do you really think this was a good idea?’ the woman asks.

‘Come on Beatrix. Don’t you think it’s what humanity claim from us? I will sit with her and wait until she wakes, if it brings peace to you. You can go to bed if you like.’

The guy smiles at her and she can’t help herself and smiles back.

‘You are too kind for this world, you know?’ she kisses him on the forehead and leaves the room. Giving the burden of a long night’s watch to him, as he’d requested.

Scene 4

‘This must be a dream, I guess it by the fact, that mother is with me. Her soft touch, the calm voice and the love I feel while she looks at me, are far away from me these days. I miss her, knowing well what’s going to happen once I’ll return to Asgard, keeps me away from there. It isn’t my home anymore and that’s what will make her safe. We always had a strong connection, that’s why I believe her, when she tells me, to find my own way. Even if I know perfectly that it’s just a dream, her next words are predictable as she tells me to seek happiness in what I have. Only that I own nothing at all, I was promised a throne! Mothers eyes darken, like she could read my thoughts. She turns her back on me. I call out to her, knowing what’s going to happen next. As in all those dreams before, I see her dying.

No matter how hard I try, I can’t change her fate. It’s like I’m cursed, every time I come close to her, she’s dying.

“Mother …,” it’s just a whisper of disbelieve on my lips, yet it’s enough to wake me from this horrible dream. Watching myself causing her death again and again, doesn’t lose any of it’s horror. Through a shroud of tears I blink my way into reality. I can’t remember what happened. The ceiling I’m staring at, doesn’t look familiar to me. My tong licks over my dry lips, don’t know the last time I actually drank something? My stomach hurts, food seems to be even longer ago. I’m weak and I hate knowing so. I use all my senses, to get more informations about my whereabouts, as I am unable to move. There is some comfort in the way I lie, a pillow under my head and a blanket that keeps me warm. Knowing all this, doesn’t really help me to figure, where I am or how I get here. The try to sit up and have a better view got amiss, I’m far to weak. A sight of surprise escapes my throat and I fall back into the down.

‘Are you finally awake?’ a voice from my right asks and I manage to turn my head, to see who was talking. A redhead caught my sight, he looks quite young. It’s not easy to tell with those Midgardian folks. ‘How are you? Feeling a bit better?’ he smiles at me, trying to make me trust him, I suppose. NOBODY ever ask me, how I feel!

‘Am I your prisoner?’ is the first thing I need to know.

‘No, god no! Why would you think … never mind. Of course you are free to leave any time. But you are also allowed to stay, if you need help,’ is the reply.

I try to figure out what kind of game he’s playing, but it doesn’t occur to me. It makes no sense. I’m staring at him in silence.

‘Don’t know what you had to go trough till now, however I promise you’re perfectly safe with me. Uhm - maybe it calms you - if I tell you that I’m gay? I won’t touch you. And if that isn’t enough, I could call for my flatmate. She helped to bring you here by the way.’

Does that little scum really believe, I, the god of mischief, would be scared by a mortal?! And how does it make things any better, if he adds his sexual interest - oh wait - I completely forgot about the disguise I’m in. Of course he must mistaken me for a weak creature like himself.

‘I am a goddess and not afraid of your puny, gay presence!’ I tell him to demonstrate how less I’m impressed.

‘Uuuuhm, ‘kay?’ now the redhead is staring at me. Not the effect I had in mind. He seems more fascinated than afraid. There is more, even when he’s hiding it well, an expression of anger crosses his mimic for a second. ‘Listen, if I where you, I would think carefully about my next words, cause if you are one of those homophobic assholes, you can go back from where you’ve come!’ Now we have context.

‘Ehehehe. You have no idea who you are talking to, do you? Where I come from, nobody cares about the gender of your love. I didn’t meant to make an insult on that topic, you insisted on being so. I wanted to warn you, that I am dangerous. But as words seem to have no effect on you, take this!’ with these words I grab for the Tesseract in my magic pocket, just to find it isn’t there. ‘Where IS IT? Did you maggots dare to steal the stone from me? I am Loki of Asgard and you are a dead man, if you don’t tell me where you’ve put my belongings!’ I yell at him, this time pulling out a knife. The mortal keeps his hands up in defence.

‘First of all, you didn’t carry any belongings with you, as we picked you up. Second, you really believe all those shit you are saying, don’t you? That’s quite of interest to me and I may be able to help you. Third and last, threaten me with a butterknife hasn’t the impact on me, you might think. I’ve experienced worse, you know,’ he looks at me, like I’ve gone mad. I however look down at my hands to find , well not what I’d expected. What is wrong with this dimension? The knife disappears.

‘Take me back to the place where you’ve found me,’ I press the words through my lips, trying to stand up, failing again.

‘If I promise to get you back there, would you behave for the rest of the day?’ he’s waiting for an answer. As I’ve said enough already, I just mutter my approval. ‘Good. Anyway, you’ll have to wait, cause it is closed right now. We’ll be there by the time it opens, to search for your stone.’

‘Tesseract! It’s a blue glowing cube.’

‘Yeah, whatever. We’ll seek for it, I promise.’

‘Sounds like the stuff Hina keeps talking about,’ a rasping voice comes from outside the room, ‘what kind of freak did we brought in here Kevin?’ a woman appears in the door, examining me and so do I. She has a strange colour of hair, that is somewhere between grey and light blue - but not the right age for it - half of her head is shaved, while on the other side the hair grows over the shoulder. She looks skinny, not in a very healthy way. She might be a warrior. At least her clothes look like she had a fight, all black and ripped into pieces. Now that I’m on the case, I get a closer look on the redhead too. He appears neat and well-fed, nothing unusual about him. Even his style is screaming: “I’m like everybody else.” Maybe except the golden ring in his right ear. I can’t understand, how both of them can be friends, not to talk about the third party, in which room we obviously are. There are colourful pictures all over the walls, a lot of books and art supplies spread across the desk next to the window. How can anybody life here on free will?

‘Does she has a name?’ the woman breaks the silence, asking her friend but still looking at me. He seem uncomfortable with the situation, that’s why I introduce myself.

‘I am Loki of Asgard.’

‘Sure and I’m Jesus Christ! What’s wrong with you?’ she waves her hand in front of her face, I do not know for what reason.

‘I beg your pardon, daughter of Christ, everything is completely fine with me! It’s not my fault, your tiny brains can’t keep up with a god.’ If looks could kill, we would be dead by now. She indeed has something of a warrior.

‘Woah, bitchfight! Calm down ladies,’ Kevin tries to ease the situation. I don’t know if it’s him who finally breaks the ice, or my stomach, that is rumbling loudly into the silence. I’m ashamed because of the betrayal caused by my own body. My cheeks feel hot all of a sudden.

‘See? Maybe we should all have breakfast first, afterwards we can come back to the topic,’ another short silence follows to Kevins words and he must have taken it as agreement, cause he gets up, leaving the room, gently pushing the girl aside. She follows him, not without giving me a last evil look.

My leg slips out of the bed, carefully, followed by the other one. It takes some effort to get up, in the end I stand on my unpleasant feet. Looking down, the difference isn’t to suppress. It was easy with the female voice, as I’m used to different illusions. The new point of view however, let me figure out some things. On my way out of the room I walk past a mirror. After a short glance I have to stop and walk back, to get a closer look. The spell I’ve used works perfectly, way to perfect! I can’t trust mine eyes. My hand wanders across my new face and I can’t but accept the tiny differences. Not that it would bother me, how familiar I still look to myself, it’s more the fact that everything is so damn real. I’ve tried this kind of magic more than once, it never worked quite well. So how come, I was able to work such a difficult spell on the edge of my powers? Something is going on here and I need to find out about it. Plus I need to get the Tesseract back. Thinking back, I’m already sorry, I’ve left the last planet.’

Scene 5

Loki is sitting inside a small kitchen, sipping on a cup of tea, so do his new flatmates. The atmosphere is in low spirits and all we can hear is the noise of their dishes. It’s obvious, the Midgardians don’t believe a single word she had told them, oddly enough they want to help her, for reasons we shall find out, as the story continues. Yet here they are, remain silent, until we start to wonder who’ll be the first one to talk again?

‘Do you feel better now?’ of course it would be Kevin, what did you think? ‘A nice little cupper and some beans with eggs always have been the best way to have a good start into the day, isn’t it?’ he grins like a Cheshire cat, obviously food is his guilt pleasure. Loki just sits in the corner, raising one eyebrow, while Beatrix seems to relax a bit.

‘That’s what I love you for, you know. Just that stupid grin,’ she giggles.

‘What you mean stupid? Is it a crime to be happy after some good food?’ Kevin looks puzzled and Bea starts to laugh. They fill the room with joy, but can’t pass it on to Loki, who still sits in her corner, without moving, or even showing some empathy. There is just this sad look on her face, we can only guess about. Maybe it is, because she’s reminded of all those times she saw Thor and his friends, having fun like that. Or it is, cause she never was a part of the group, but always watched from aside. Probably she doesn’t know it herself, nonetheless it makes her aware of the big gap between them and how impossible it seems, to ever be on that side of the table. To be the one who laughs with friends.

She can’t get away soon enough.

‘Is it time now to seek for my lost item? - Please,’ she adds after a short break. Must have come to her mind, that they’ve shared their food with her, so the try to be a bit more kind isn’t all waisted time. Not that it make her care.

But how can we know, by just watching the expressions on Lokis face? Well we don’t, but we know her well enough to interpret every tiny movement, ain’t we?

‘You see, it wasn’t that hard,’ Kevin smiles again and takes a look onto his watch, ‘we’ll need a bit more patience. One more hour and we can go,’ he tells Loki, who’s wriggling on her chair.

‘I probably shall not feel like it, but I’m still hungry. Glancing at the girl, who has barely even touched her food. I can’t help myself, but staring at her plate in desire. I can’t remember, the last time I have been that hungry, to forget all my manners.

‘Bea love, are you eating any of this yet?’ Kevin must have followed my sight, what makes me look away in shame.

‘Nope,’ is all she says. That’s when he takes the plate and slide it into my direction. I take the offered food and eat it as fast as possible, to not extend this annoying situation. I’m even more ashamed, that I’ve just behaved like my brother would, how pathetic!’

Scene 6

We see Loki and Kevin at the Globe, on the corner where they’ve picked her up. Seeking for the cube, while we can see on her face, how, with every second, she becomes more desperate.

‘It must be here! I’m stuck in this bloody realm if we can’t find it …,’ she mutters in distress.

‘Maybe some stranger picked it up? We can ask, if it was handed over down there?’ Kevin offers.

‘That’s impossible! It’s nothing a mortal could handle!’ she yells at him, throwing her hands in the air.

‘Fine! What would you suggest to do next?!’

‘I DON’T KNOW! I need to think,’ she turns around, walking away.

‘Take your time. I’ll be in the big building next door, if it’s of any interest to you.’

We look after Kevin, as he disappears in the Tate modern, while Loki is taking a walk along the Themse.

‘How? I definitely had escaped the guy and he can’t be that fast in tracking me. It’s impossible. Somebody else must have taken the Tesseract. But who? There is nearly no magic in this world and according to Kevin, nothing like gods or celestial beings to ever be seen. New York wasn’t attacked by the Chitauri and the Avengers are heroes out of comic books. What ever that means. Sure there are a few individuals, who would like to steal the Tesseract, but none of them could come here without it’s powers. What plan could this person follow? It makes no sense … unless … unless they want me to be stuck here. Like a very luxurious prison, I bet Thor or Odin are involved in it! Can’t stand, that I’ve escaped their judgement. To teach me a lesson, probably. Who else would want to keep me here? A world where no ‘harm’ can be done. Pah! Don’t they know me at all, they should know better. A planet with any kind of population can be ruled. Only, this time I need to be smarter. Watching the subjects, learn their habits and find a possibility to submit them. In the end, all of them are going to kneel! Ehehehehe.’

We can’t hear Lokis inner Monolog, but by her evil grin and by the fact, that she turned around and walks quickly into the direction she just came from, we can submit, she has something mischievous in mind.

Scene 7

Loki is entering the Tate, with a couple of tourists. It’s a mystery the guards doesn’t stop her, well maybe not, she must be already aware, of how to use her body the right way. Finally she’s in the building, surrounded by people, who stop, not far from the entrance, to admit the great hall. We can tell from the look an her face, that she isn’t impressed at all. No wonder, there are much bigger buildings in Asgard. Anger is crossing her face. As of course the building is still big and she’ll have to seek for Kevin. She wanders around, visibly relaxing. That’s the magic of art and maybe the place. We follow her, slowly now. Studying one painting after another, strolling through the halls. We might get the impression, she completely forgot about Kevin. She already made it through a few levels, when she spots him. He’s sitting in an armchair, in front of a big glass-wall, staring down at the people walking around downstairs. Loki slips into the chair next to him.

‘Did you find your cube?’ Kevin asks.

‘No …,’ she braces her head into her hands. They sit in silence for a while, watching the people who have the size of ants, from their point of view.

‘Why don’t you look at the paintings, instead of staring down there?’ Loki can’t find much amusement in doing so.

‘I like to study people. That’s my job and I can’t turn it off. Right before you’ve joined me, there was a couple sitting next to me and I’ve been listening to their fight. It was pretty interesting and I might had followed them, if I didn’t figure, you should be up here every minute. I saw you enter the building. Took you a while to find me, aye?’ Kevin leans back in his chair, finally looking at Loki.

‘I have been learning about the midgardian paintings. Some of them are quite beautiful,’ she shrugs her shoulders, ‘so you get payed for spying on people?’ We recognise interest flickering on her face.

‘Hahaha, no. Not in the way you might think. I’m a psychologist-to-be. People come to me and tell me their problems and I’ll analyse how to help them. Explains my manic interest into other peoples behaviour. Talking of it, I thought, you would be an interesting case. Would you allow me, to have a few sessions with you? You don’t have to do it for free of course.’

‘Now he comes to the point, about what he was hiding from me. I knew, this guy was up to something. Waiting patiently for his offer, so I can see, if it’s worth my time. He seems to think for a moment, probably about how to formulate it, before he speaks again.

‘As I’ve figured, you don’t have a place to stay for longer?’ he asks and I nod, ‘so in case you agree, we could come to an arrangement. You can stay in Hinas room, she’ll be away for a while. In return I want an hour every second day, where you will answer my questions honestly. Without any pressure, I promise. How does that sound to you?’

What an unique offer, he surly doesn’t know much about me.

‘I agree, but under one condition, you’ll have to answer my questions too. Do we have a deal?’

We shake hands, no more words needed. This was way too easy.’

#loki of asgard #marvel #loki #fanfic #mcu #mcu fanfiction

[ajw720]

Thank you for finding D’s actual words. I listen to all his interviews/podcasts etc and never heard him actually say he would NOT take anymore queer rolls or play in any more LBGT themed shows. He knows he is walking a fine line and many in the LBGT community know he is closeted against his will. I personally think the best actor for the roll should get the roll. I don’t think their sexuality should have anything to do with it. RM has always had shows that represent the gay community. part 1

Part 2:  Part 2. So just to work with him says your ok with that narrative. I personally think D’s team didn’t realize he was collaborating with RM again until the one source said he saw him at NETFLEX. RM qualified it quickly and I think RR retaliated because again D was creating his own opportunities (as he always had). He assumed a gay roll and tried to sabotage D and RM because of the collaboration RR is not involved in. That’s why I’m so sure this is all coming to an end sometime after the anniv.

Ask 2:  Thanks for showing the disparities between the 2 responses on this issue, because in the podcast, he sounds much more grateful for his opportunities and in the article, it just sort of sounded like he was biting the hand that gave him these great, career-defining roles to sound politically correct. I love his first response in that I felt it was way more telling of his true feelings on the issue. Much appreciation and love to you guys!

*************************************************************

Hi nonnies!  I really was determined to find that podcast and for some reason, I see it nowhere in my archive (but my archive is overwhelming). I really think in order to judge appropriately and analyze, it is important to see the words that D actually puts into the world versus those put in the world in his name with no verification that it is a statement he made or said.  To me, the no more queer roles was a really bad summary, in Team Incompetent's own words, of what D said, ignoring the fact that he is clearly very grateful for the roles he has played, he knows he is fortunate, he is very respectful of the LGBTQ community and that he acknowledges it is a tricky question.  At at the end, he says that he thinks more important than WHO is playing the role is how the story is told as that is the message being put into the world.  

The two statements, while a similar theme, are night and day and frankly, I don’t believe the person who spoke so in statement 1 would have been so dismissive and ungrateful in statement 2. I also don’t think D would ever say something that would limit his choices. He said, he is glad he is not a casting director.

No doubt in my mind the statement made by his team was an attempt at sabotage because they are aware of the deals he is making.  They want to keep him constrained in the box they have created for as long as possible.  

Never forget, he has a huge weight on his shoulders and i think it is at the forefront of his mind regularly when making decisions.  Also, I honestly still believe that he was poised to come out during ACS, so at the time he decided to play the role, he didn’t think he would be again discussing the role with the label his team has provided as “straight cis dude.”  But then the marketing started and it became clear they weren’t going to allow him to come out on their watch.

I actually think when asked the question, he handled it really well considering the tight constraints that control his life.

And now we wait to see who Raymond is and how it is handled. For sure we know it is an LGBT leaning show, but what about Raymond?  I for one am beyond curious.

[itsclydebitches]

It Chapter Two: Aged-Up Protagonists and the Umbridge Effect

Writing reviews, metas, and the like is a lot about timing. If you don’t craft your writing in the immediate aftermath of your source’s release, someone else will beat you to it and, chances are, your audience will be less enthused about reading the same arguments weeks later. (Admittedly, that’s up for debate. I for one am happy to read about the same shit for years on end.) Thus, when I didn’t have the time or the mental energy to write about It: Chapter Two immediately after seeing it in theaters, I knew within a few days that I’d lost a lot of ground. Fans and critics alike have already spoken about the film’s major draws, namely the update on Richie’s sexuality and the canonizing of a beloved, thirty-year-old ship. We’ve also covered the issues that arose out of those positives. In 2019, is it necessary to show a hate crime in such violent detail? By giving us queer characters, have Muschietti and King unintentionally fallen into the trap of treating them badly? One is dead and the other mourns while the straight couple passionately kiss beneath the lake. Faithful adaptation vs. modern activism is a tricky balance to strike. I could rehash all those arguments here, but why bother? They’ve been articulated better by others already. Besides, falling behind means that I now have the space to discuss something just as important to me.

The Losers’ ages.

Now, I’m not sure if you all have noticed, but fantasy adventures aren’t really geared towards adults. That is to say, stories often contain adult content, but that’s not the same thing as putting adults at the center of the narrative. I’ve experienced a niggling sense of displeasure that’s grown stronger with each passing year and it took until my mid-twenties to figure out what it was: I am no longer the hero of many of my favorite stories. Because I’ve grown up. Harry Potter is concerned primarily with the trials and tribulations of characters between the ages of eleven and eighteen. If we return to that world---such as through a certain cursed play---the focus must shift to the new, shiny generation. Anyone who falls through a wardrobe is bound to be a child and if they dare grow up? They’re no longer allowed access to such a fantastic place. Kids are the ones who find the Hundred Acre Woods, or fall down rabbit holes, get daemons, battle Other Mothers when the world gets flipped, or head off onto all sorts of elementary and high school adventures. Sometimes, even those who are adults mistakenly get caught up in this trend. Frodo might be in his fifties, but as a small, kindly hobbit he comes across as younger than the rest of the Fellowship. Since the release of Jackson’s trilogy I’ve corrected more than one new fan who assumed (somewhat logically) that he is in his early twenties, max. It’s an easy mistake to make when we’ve grown accustomed to children and young adults taking center stage in so many fantastic, high-profile adventures.

Of course, there are plenty of counters to this feeling. Just look at Game of Thrones. Though we see much of the story through younger perspectives---such as the Stark siblings---the vast majority of the cast is made up of adults, playing just as pivotal a role as the up-and-comers. Fantasy, Science Fiction, and other speculative story-lines are by no means solely in the hands of minors, yet I think it’s also worth acknowledging that a good majority of those stories do shape our media landscape. Or, if they’re not strictly minors, they’re characters who embody a sort of static young adulthood, the Winchesters and the Shadowhunters and all the television superheroes who might gesture towards markers of adulthood---we have long term relationships, hold down jobs, can impersonate FBI agents without anyone batting an eye---yet are still able to maintain a nebulous form of youth. They all (try to) look and act as if they’re right out of college. The standards of film and television demand that actors appear twenty-years-old even when they’re pushing forty, and the standards of much literature insists that twenty is simply too old for an adventure, period. I can still clearly recall two moments of shock (later agreed upon by my friends) when I encountered unexpectedly older protagonists in genre fiction: the realization that Sophie actually spends the majority of Howl’s Moving Castle as a very old woman and that The Magicians takes place in graduate school. “Wow,” I remember thinking. “When’s the last time that happened?”

What does all this have to do with It: Chapter Two? I don’t have any big twist for you here. It was just really refreshing to see such a fantastical story where our cast is all forty or older. Seriously, can we take a moment to appreciate exactly how much King undermined expectations there? The first half of the novel is structured precisely how we assume it ‘should’ be. There’s a mysterious threat, there are children caught up in the middle of it, and ultimately only they are capable of saving the day. We know this story. We even have the characterization of the town itself to reinforce this structure, a place so warped by evil that only the very young with their open-mindedness and imagination are capable of seeing Derry for what it truly is, illustrated beautifully in the film by Mr. Marsh straight up not noticing a whole room full of blood.

Though they’re It’s prey, children are also the only ones who have any potential power over him. You have to be able to acknowledge a problem in order to fix it and King could have easily ended his story at the first chapter alone, with the group somehow managing to defeat Pennywise for good the first time they set foot in the sewers. A part of me is still shocked he didn’t, if only because the young savior as an archetype was embedded within Western culture far earlier than It’s 1986 publication. From Carrie to The Girl Who Loved Tom Gordon, Pet Sematary to Firestarter, King is no stranger to putting children at the center of fantastic tales. Yet he’s also given us numerous adult protagonists, managing to find an enjoyable balance between the two, both within individual novels and his entire corpus. It represents that balance, not just imagining a story where seven (yes, I’m counting Stan) middle-age adults manage to finally save their town, but actually setting up a twenty-seven year jump to allow for that. It's the best of both worlds, exploring the difficulties inherent in both childhood and adulthood, arguing that we need each---that imagination and that experience---if we hope to come out alive.

While watching It: Chapter Two I took note of how many people laughed throughout the film, and not just at the moments set up to be funny (looking at you, Richie). Rather, the film that two years ago had scared the pants off of movie-goers now entertained them in a much more relaxed manner. No one was hiding behind their popcorn; there were no shrieks of fright. I’ve seen more than one reviewer express displeasure at this change. What the hell happened? Isn’t an It film supposed to be scary? Well, yes and no. I think what a lot of people miss is how providing us with an adult cast inherently changes the way fear manifests, both literally in the case of Pennywise’s illusions and thematically in regards to the film itself. This sloppy bitch, as established, preys on children. His tricks have the illogical, fantastical veneer that reflect how children see the world: you’re scared of women with horrifically elongated faces, zombie-like lepers, and hungry mummies. They’re literal monsters emerging out from under the bed. Of course, as adults watching the story we’re easily able to see how these monsters represent much deeper, intangible fears: growing up and disappointing your father, falling ill like your mother always claims you will (to say nothing of contracting AIDS in connection with a budding queer identity), and the danger that comes with being alone and ostracized. Sometimes It: Chapter One gestures more firmly towards those underlying fears---such as the burnt hands reaching for Mike when we know his family died in a fire---but only once does it make the real horror overt, when Pennywise takes Mr. Marsh’s face and asks Bev if she's still his little girl.

Outside of pedophilia and sexual abuse, Chapter One’s real horror is mostly coded, symbolic, left up to (admittedly rather obvious at times) interpretation. It’s just under the surface and we’re meant to be distracted by the fact that, allegorical or not, there’s still a very creepy thing hunting our protagonists from the shadows. For two hours we take on a child’s perspective, biting our nails at all the things we once imagined hid inside our closets. We’re scared because they’re scared.

That mindset irrevocably changes once your group grows up. Forty-year-olds simply don’t freak out in the same way a bunch of thirteen-year-olds would, especially now that they know precisely what’s happening and have the mental fortitude to combat it. At least to an extent. Chapter Two isn’t as traditionally scary for the simple reason that the film now acknowledges what all adults eventually must: there’s nothing in the closet, there’s nothing hiding under your bed. Or if there is, it’s something tangible that can be handled with a calm(ish) demeanor and a well-placed ax. An adult might scream when something jumps out at them, but they’re not as inclined to cower. Adults might still be scared, but they’re better able to push that fear aside in order to take action. The group first reached that point in the sewers--- “Welcome to the Losers’ club, asshole!”---and now fully embodies that mindset with nearly three decades of growth and experience to draw on. This is why Ben investigating the library as a teen reads as teeth-chatteringly scary, but Ben and Bill as adults investigating the skateboard produces only a comment about how they're getting used to this nonsense. They know, and we as the audience know, what the real threat is and whether or not we need to shield our eyes when something starts clunking its way down the stairs.

All of which isn’t to say that Chapter Two isn’t scary. It’s simply scary in a much more realistic manner, killer clowns and Native American rituals aside. The fears have been aged-up along with the cast, stripping away the child-like fantasies that made us wet our pants in Chapter One. What’s the scariest moment outside of the jump scares? When two men and a kid beat a gay man and then chuck him in the river to drown. You’ll note that, unlike in the first film, Pennywise doesn’t actually have to do much work here. Seasoning people up with fear? The rest of the world is doing that for him. That first scene detailing a truly horrific hate crime (which, by the way, is based off of true events) results in a meal delivered straight to Pennywise’s arms. It’s people who targeted that couple, beat one of them within an inch of his life, and then tossed him over a bridge, bleeding and shrieking for help. All Pennywise had to do was scoop him from the water and take that first bite. He’s incidental to the film’s most cringe-worthy scene. We can argue all we want about how it’s Pennywise’s influence that “makes” the town this way, but any queer viewer knows that's simply not the case. In 2019 we're still living this horror, no Pennywise required.

Likewise, the two children we see murdered are much more overtly grappling with fears that have nothing to do with fantastical monsters. Dean, the little boy Bill tries to save in lieu of Georgie, is rightly petrified because a seemingly crazy adult is now stalking him. We as the audience know that Bill is just trying to help----that he’s not the real danger here----but that’s not the perspective this kid has, nor is it the issue the film is grappling with. We first see him approaching an idol of his, Richie, and instead of an enjoyable experience he winds up getting yelled at. The It films are only tangentially interested in the status of fans and their relationship with celebrities, but we know it’s a common theme for King’s work overall. Look at Misery and look at this cameo: a disenchanted fan of the 21st century, criticizing a writer’s novel and leveraging him for money. “You can afford it,” he tells Bill, swindling him simply because he can. The context of this little boy as a fan and Richie as the older, bigger, larger-than-life comedian adds another layer to the interaction. It’s not just an adult verbally attacking a child, it’s an adult this kid worshiped enough to recognize and quote his material from memory. Who easily walks away from that?

This little boy then finds Bill shrieking at a sewer opening, is manhandled by him, and told in the scariest way possible, born of Bill’s own fear, that he has to get out of dodge, fast. There are scary things out there, Dean freely admits that he’s heard kids’ voices coming from the tub drain, but right now the scariest thing is how badly the adults in his life are failing him: parents (from what little we can gather) are distant, his comedic idol is mean, and now this stranger is traumatizing him in the middle of the street. Once again, it’s easy to see how Pennywise isn’t needed to sow fear or even enact cruelty; he’s not a requirement for horrible things in the world, he’s merely their reflection. We see the same setup with the little girl under the bleachers. That scene demonstrates precisely how not scary Pennywise is. Here’s this child putting aside her discomfort over his looks and agreeing to be his friend. What’s worse than a clown with a creepy expression? The knowledge that all the other kids have already rejected you because of a birthmark on your face. Bullying is the far greater threat and one we’re 100% more likely to deal with in our lives than a killer clown, so the second film re-frames Pennywise to better acknowledge this. He’s scary because things like bullying and neglect exist to give him an easy in. He’s even scary because in this moment, hiding under the bleachers, manipulating this little girl, he’s fully embodying a child predator. Chapter One was a primal, “There’s a monster hiding in the shadows” kind of fear. Chapter Two is a, “We’re all going to die from climate change” kind of fear. Logical and largely inescapable. Characters like Richie don't need Pennywise to take some fantastic form to scare him. Homophobia has already done all the work.

Ultimately, I think of this as the Umbridge Effect. Who’s the most hated character in the Harry Potter franchise? I’ll give you a hint, it’s not the Dark Lord responsible for two wars, attempted genocide, and the death of our title character.

We despise Umbridge because she’s real. She’s relatable. She’s grounded in a way that Voldemort could never hope to be. We have no fear that an all-powerful sorcerer is suddenly going to come out of the woodwork and attempt to enslave and/or eradicate everyone without magic. That’s just not on our list of things to worry about. A corrupt politician, however? An instructor who uses her power to emotionally and physically torture students, getting away with it because of a cutesy, hyper-feminine persona? We’ve seen stuff like that. We’ve lived it. Umbridge represents all the real wrongs in the world when it comes to bigotry and privilege. Therefore we hate her---we fear her---in a way we could never hate or fear Voldemort. Now, in It: Chapter Two, Pennywise is the new Voldemort. Is an alien clown with an unhinged jaw and three rows of teeth technically scary? Sure, but it doesn’t hold a candle to the real problems that plague the cast: abuse, anxiety, depression, suicidal ideation, the fear that someone will hurt or outright kill you over some part of your identity. These are things we continue to fear long after the credits roll and the lights come up, and they’re now barely coded in the story:

It occurred to me halfway through my viewing that the people laughing at the characters’ new plights were the same ones who didn’t flinch when a gay man’s head cracked into the pavement. I had both hands over my mouth during that scene and I wasn’t snickering whenever Eddie had a panic attack, or Ben’s self-confidence took a hit. Because those moments, like our opening, hit pretty close to home for me; I didn’t find them embarrassingly humorous in the way much of my theater did. So many reviews in the last two months have insisted that Chapter Two isn't scary, but I think that depends entirely on whether or not you're struggling with these now explicit threats. We're not dealing with mummies and creepy portraits anymore. Instead, tell me how you feel about holding your partner's hand in public. Do certain memories make you vomit? Or freeze? Consider heading upstairs to the bath? The horror is dependent on how the audience views Bill's stutter coming back, or the bruises on Bev's arms. 

The cast grew up. It’s a fantastic twist. It also means that the horror needed to grow up with them, resulting in a film that could no longer function as a simple, scary clown movie. Our ending reminds us of that. When did people laugh the loudest? When the Losers’ club was bullying Pennywise into something vulnerable. And yeah, I get it. It’s a cheesy moment that we feel the need to laugh at because it’s just so unexpected. Awkward, even. Since when are badass horror monsters defeated with a bit of backyard peer pressure straight out of middle school? If this were any other story, Pennywise would have been defeated by Eddie’s poker. The most scared member of the group finally finds his courage! He has faith that this simple object can kill monsters! He throws it in a perfect arc, splitting the deadlights in two! That’s a heroic ending. Something epic and fantastical, relying on the idea that the Good Guys will win simply because they believe in themselves... but that’s not how the real world works. That ending is a child’s fantasy. Sometimes you do the heroic thing and end up dying anyway. Which isn’t to say that the heroic thing is useless. It saves Richie’s life. It’s just that a single act can’t cure all our ills in the way that storybooks often claim they can. 

How then does an adult deal with huge, intangible problems like bigotry and mental illness---the things Pennywise now fully represents? By saying “Fuck you” to those things again and again with all the support you can possibly wrangle up at your side. You refuse to let those issues control you; you drag those child-like representations into the light and remind yourself just how small they really are. We don’t get to beat something like depression by spearing it with a fire poker in some overblown finale. If we did, we’d all be having a much better time. All you can do is band together with friends and scream that you’re not going to let your fears define you anymore. Pennywise is a symptom of all the true horrors in the world. Sadly, you can’t beat those with a baseball bat. But you can acknowledge the heart of the issue, literally in the case of five friends squeezing until that one symptom, at least, is gone.

Image Credit

#1:https://www.screengeek.net/2018/07/10/it-chapter-2-character-mashups/

#2:https://earlybirdbooks.com/the-re-read-the-lion-the-witch-and-the-wardrobe

#3:https://www.vox.com/culture/2019/7/4/19413771/stranger-things-season-3-review-recap-hopper-elevenrussians

#4:https://comicbook.com/movies/2019/08/08/harry-potter-movies-review-10-years-late-snape-dumbledore-franchise/

#5:https://www.denofgeek.com/us/tv/netflix/277257/give-the-dragon-prince-a-chance

#6:https://www.forbes.com/sites/lindamaleh/2019/04/23/she-ra-and-the-princesses-of-power-season-2-review/#ec7022c42953

#7:https://www.commonsensemedia.org/tv-reviews/avatar-the-last-airbender

#8:https://www.newsweek.com/buffy-vampire-slayer-turns-20-charisma-carpenter-shows-enduring-legacy-and-566123

#9:http://theinspirationroom.com/daily/2009/alice-in-wonderland-the-movie/

#10:https://www.hindustantimes.com/tv/game-of-thrones-this-edited-out-scene-between-bran-and-sansa-reveals-so-much-about-finale/story-qFDHflH2dO6Kcki1wgsEyM.html

#11:https://www.cinemablend.com/new/Why-Ender-Game-Best-Possible-Adaptation-Book-40110.html

#12:https://www.hollywoodreporter.com/live-feed/supernatural-end-season-15-cw-1196579

#13:https://www.slashfilm.com/it-chapter-two-scene/

#14:https://www.vox.com/culture/2017/9/12/16286316/it-cleaning-up-blood-scene-feminism

#15:http://www.allocine.fr/film/fichefilm-208633/photos/detail/?cmediafile=21647122

#16:https://stanleyyuris.tumblr.com/post/188300897715/chaotic-losers

#17:https://whatculture.com/film/it-chapter-2-every-character-ranked-worst-to-best?page=3

#18:https://www.reddit.com/r/harrypotter/comments/7uhrkz/the_most_hated_character/

#19:https://9gag.com/gag/am2X2Z4?ref=pn.mw

#20:https://screenrant.com/harry-potter-hated-characters-unpopular-worst-ranked/quickview/17

GIFs1-5:https://the-pretty-poisons.tumblr.com/post/188344826978/why-is-everyone-looking-at-me-\like-this

#It #It Chapter 2 #It Chapter Two #It Chapter Two Spoilers #reddie #mymetas

[littlemisssquiggles]

So I recently sent a response to Shannon McCormick, Oz's voice actor: "I know you said the group is gonna trust Oz again and reconcile, but I'm not feeling very hopeful. They're still so bitter towards him and not trying to understand him... and are doing the same things they demonized him for, yet it's being treated like it's okay. I know you can't give spoilers and I don't expect you to, but it's something that's got me really down." He responded with: "Keep the faith."

Hey Miki-chan. Ah yes, good ole Shannon coming in clutch with that boast of optimism. I’m actually curious as to whether or not, we will even get to see Oz return for V7. The opening certainly didn’t give any indication of it; sadly to say. If I’m expecting Oz to return at all, it’s probably by the end of the season.

While I do want Oz to return and reconcile with the group, I’m skeptical about having it go back to the way things were before with Ozpin constantly taking control of Oscar’s body and more or less eclipsing his development. I miss Oz but I don’t miss that. This is why I liked how they showed him as a more of guiding voice for Oscar at the end of V6 with the airship crash.In my opinion, that’s what I initially assumed their dynamic was going to belike until the show revealed the soul swapping technique in V5.

I want Oscar to shine on his own, if possible, for V7. If Oz were to return to the story, I hope his role is relegated to being more of a literal voice of reasonand guidance taking up full residence inside of Oscar’s head; not really takingover as much as he used to but lending instructions to Oscar on how to moveespecially in combat while allowing the young boy to think on his feet and makeuse of that good ole muscle memory he is expected to inherit. If Oscar isbecome Ozpin’s successor and successful one to boot, Oz can’t keep holding his hand. He’s got to let Oscar grow into the role and I think he’s being goinggood so far. But he still does need Oz to be there to help. Hence why I’mhoping that, if Oz is to return, I really wish for Oscar to be the one to go inafter him to bring him back.

Since Oscar was the only seen to show Oz a bit of sympathy last season, I wish for this to continue as it can definitely push the growth of the bond between the Two Souls. If there is one person I’m expecting to vouch on Oz’s behalf at this point, it’s Oscar. Ruby was another character I was hoping would certainly join him in that court. However…things are a little complicated right now with our little red rose and the path she seems to be taking this season.  I’ll discuss this more under thread.

While we’re on the topic of Oz’ reconciliation with the hero group, I’m really sorry to hear that this development has had you disappointed and feeling down, Miki-chan. I get where your frustration is coming from but at the same time, I also agree with Shannon on keeping the faith.

Similar to how Oz’s skeletons coming out of the closet was a narrative slow-burn that’s been churning since as early as V5, I feel as if it’s going to be the same forhis path to redemption with the team and regaining their trust. The only thingI dislike about this plot point is how we still have everyone more or less sharingthe same opinion of Oz with little indication on whether or not anyone isreally starting to consider that the other side of the coin where Oz wasjustified in his actions.

When this plot point first dropped back in V6, what was fascinating about it was how divided it made the fandom. It opened the grounds for discussion and debating with everyone sharing their different outlooks on the scenario and that was quite neat.

I just wished that the Writers had mimicked that in the series; y’know? When I first saw the V6 volume poster, art with Oz and Oscar at the centre while Team RWBY were all divided around the two of them; I figured that that was what the season was going to be like more or less.

With the team being divided on their overall trust Oz and growing trust in Oscar with some folks, such as Ruby and possibly Blake standing in the court that defended both souls whereas Weiss and Yang weren’t as convinced.

It would’ve been great to see everyone sharing different outlooks and reactions to the news about Oz’s past with Salem and her immortality; Team RWBY’s as well as JNR’s.  

It would’ve been great to see that because it could have even leant itself to paving the road towards Ozpin’s eventual reconciliation in this new season or whenever the showrunners decided to have it happen down the line.

However, instead, thus far it’s mostly been everyone sharing the same opinion—Oz was wrong and is not to be trusted anymore.This is now made even worse by the notion that the heroes are currently committing the same action of ‘deceiving and/or withholding vital info from your allies’ as Oz once did with them.

However what’s almost comical is how the narrative—the PLOT—is trying to get us as the audience to think that the heroes are in the right when really…they’re not?

At least to me, they’re not. I’ve seen examples of other FNDM fam members taking a supportive stance for the actions of Ruby and the other heroes’ deceit with Ironwood and their Atlesian allies. This squiggle meister, on the other hand, has not been that easily convinced. Sorry.  

I think what bugs me the most regarding the execution of this subplot is how much the heroes are able to get away with when it comes to their actions. I understand that the Writers are more or less attempting to show a parallel between our gaggle of heroes and Ozpin by having them take greater risks for the sake of fulfilling their mission while additionally making questionable choices. 

That idea is fine and I like that they’re doing this with them especially since I think it could still lend to them eventually making up with Oz by understanding why he did the things he did since now they’ve been in his shoes. That part of it is good. Great even.

However, somehow, I dunno—for me, our heroes’ recent actions don’t have the same kind of impact on me as Ozpin’s did. I guess where I’m really getting at here is that when I learnt the truth about Oz last season, my main reason for staying in his court was because I understood his reasons for doing the things he did.

While I’ll call Oz out for his wrong in lying and keeping his secrets from people he believed were his most trusted allies, I was still sympathetic towards Oz because I genuinely felt that his actions were justified especially following the events of the Lost Fable.

The PLOT wants me to believe that Oz is this morally grey type of man and he is, to some degree. However the PLOT also wishes for me as the audience to believe that Oz has been nothing but this deceitful person throughout history and that the heroes are perfectly in the right for choosing to never trust in him again. But here’s the thing with that—I see Oz as being more…smart than fraudulent.

Yes Oz told lies and half-truths and kept important secrets that could shake the world of Remnant—but what some people seem to be forgetting is that there was good, valid reason behind the way Oz chose to do things. Oz was careful. Meticulous with the kind of people he chose to disclose the truth to as well as the information he chose to tell them and the right time to revealsaid information as well.

I’d like to think that this is how Oz was able to successfully keep things under wraps for so many lives as a means of more or less keeping the peace. Because of how careful he’d chose to move along with the kind of people he decided to place his trust in. Oz was cautious and as he explained in V6, his vigilance was backed up mostly by his experience over the centuries especially his first one with Salem

This is the issue I’m having with our heroes. Although they are committing the same actions as Oz, especially the part of choosing to hide the truth from Ironwood—their actions feel reckless and unwarranted in my opinion and I can’t get behind it as well as I did with Ozpin because I personally don’t feel the heroes are as justified in their actions as Oz was.

Even though the PLOT is trying to paint this picture that James shouldn’t be completely trusted and our heroes are in the right in not trusting him fully with the truth about Salem, for me, I honestly felt like our heroes jumped the gun on that one, just like how they jumped the gun back in Argus in choosing to illegally commandeer an airship to Atlas as opposed to trying any other means that could’ve rendered them the same results with less repercussions involving trouble with the military and the safety of the citizens of Argus.

According to the PLOT, Ruby was correct in making the call to not reveal the whole truth to Ironwood given how he and his forces have been treating the poor people of Mantle; not to mention our heroes upon their arrival in Atlas. This isevidenced by Ruby in V7CH3 in her response to Yang’s questioning.  

“Can we talk about that again?”“What about it?”

“We’re really not going to tellIronwood about what happened to Oz? What we learned about Jinn? About Salem?”

“…We are! We…will. But you saw howthings looked when we flew into Atlas.”

“The General’s heart seems to be inthe right place but…that doesn’t mean we should trust him yet.”

“Why don’t we play along for a whilebefore we make any major decisions?”  

I’d like to highlight Ruby’s indifference to her own actions again. Just something I pegged noteworthy since it reminded me of her attitude towards revealing her true feelings regarding the Aftermath of the Fall of Beacon—how she nonchalantly seemed to shrug away Oscar’s attempt at telling her that it’s alright for her to be open with him about how she’s truly feeling… right before Oscar switches his approach and firmly calls her out on his indifference which in turn finally forced her to come clean and be straight with him.

While I understand that the whole Mantle situation is a complicated matter, to me, that still doesn’t rule out it being a good reason for the heroes to lie to Ironwood.

I’d understand it more if it was a matter of Ruby being strategic in the information that she discloses to Ironwood but that’s not what the case is here. It’s not to saythat Ruby told James some of the truth and was very careful with what she chose to disclose and how she worded said information. It’s that she flat out liedand then repeated the same lie that Oz had fed them about the Relic ofKnowledge back in Mistral.

I know Ruby is trying to say she can’t trust Ironwood 100% because of how things are looking in Mantle and Atlas because of his actions. But on the other hand, I’m surprised it didn’t inspire her to be more upfront rather than the opposite take.

Based on what Pietro said in the first episode, Ironwood has been paranoid and on higher maintenance since the Fall of Beacon. That being said, why chose to withhold information from a man who is already fearful of being betrayed again by those closest to him since it was mentioned earlier in the season that it was one of his Atlas’ own—someone who worked closely with Atlas’ security and the military (Watts)  that contributed to the destruction of Beacon Academy and so much more in chaos in Vale?

“The Fall of Beacon took a toll on all of us. James was no different. I couldn’t tell you exactly what it is he saw there, but it changed him. He’s—”

“…He’s scared.”

“Paranoid would be the more appropriate term. You have to understand, it wasn’t just the Grimm. Someone completely dismantled Atlas’ security code. Made it their plaything and made us look like traitors to some and buffoons to everyone else. Whoever managed to do that is either a genius or one of our own. I fear the answer may be both and so does the General.”

Again, with that thought in mind I ask again, why did Ruby think it was a wise choice to lie to Ironwood given what she learned specifically from Pietro regarding his frame of mind right now?

See why the hero’s actions are having the opposite effect for me?

While I get why it’s a possible motive, I still think what the heroes are doing with James is unwarranted. As a matter of fact, I feel like they’ve only made thingsworse for themselves by withholding info from Ironwood given his current frameof mind.

I’d like to think that Ironwood’s experience in Vale has made him more than just paranoid. He’s become more…I wouldn’t say soft but emotionally vulnerable than he was when we first met him.

This is why I don’t wish for Ruby’s mistrust of Ironwood to come back to appear as if she took advantage of Ironwood in his vulnerable state. Because I feel like that could easily feed into Ironwood’s paranoia—to learn that he couldn’t eventrust the people he placed fate in and showed kindness to. To show that heextended them his hand in reliance only for them to not do the same of him.

I know one of the common FNDM theories is that Ironwood isn’t being completely honest with our heroes, however I’m starting to think otherwise. Up until this point in the plot, Ironwood has been upfront with JNR_RWBY and Qrow about everything. Every question they’ve asked of him, he’s told them in full confidence. So far, I haven’t gotten the impression that James has been lying to the heroes at all.

Since he returned the Relic of Knowledge to Ruby and reassured her of his trust,I genuinely feel like he’s been nothing but upfront with the group abouteverything including all that’s been going down with him and his kingdom—bothsides of it.

If Ironwood was shown to be shady as well then I could’ve easily bought into theheroes doing the same thing with him because then their actions would’ve beenreasonable. If Ironwood was the same man he was shown to be back in V2 and was shown to be withholding important information from our heroes especially when they asked him vital questions in need of clarification, similar to how Oz had done with them, then I could’ve gotten behind our heroes taking that mindful approach.

However, this isn’t what I’ve seen from the show’s execution. Instead I’m seeingIronwood behaving pretty trustworthy while the heroes are the ones beingdeceitful and it all feels so very wrong on the heroes’ part. Especially when you have some of them behaving that they were right in keeping secrets from James. What especially bothered me a little was what Qrow told Ruby in the recent CH4.

“I’m trying to do what I think is best but…I really can’t tell if what’sbest is what’s right or if I’m no different from Oz”

Then is an excellent question for Ruby to ask of herself. It’s great because it highlights that she’s taken into consideration what her teammates have toldher—particularly Oscar. It shows that Oscar’s questioning of her actions mimicking Ozpin’s has weighed on her mind-set. So I’m pleased with this frame of thinking from Ruby. However, this moment is short-lived for me by what Qrow says next in response to Ruby’s statement.

“…Ruby, Oz only trusted himself with the whole truth. You’re trusting others, making sure they prove themselves first. I think that’s a pretty big difference.”

…Okay….One thing admittedly right about that statement, yes. Yes; Oz did only trust himself with the whole truth. That is indeed correct. But, there’s also some clear wrong in that statement as well.

Qrow…I get that you’re probably still very, very upset that Oz deceived you and hurt you on a personal level. However, what I am in completely disbelief of is—how could Qrow say that Ruby is no different than Oz because she trusts in others, making sure that they prove themselves worthy of her trust before giving the whole truth?

I’m sorry…WHAT! But…but…Qrow; how can YOU of all people say that with a straight face? How can you remotely imply that at all? Especially the line about Oz only trusting himself and putting his faith in those he believes trustworthy. I’m sorry but that line comes off like utter rubbish to my ears.

Qrow Branwen—you are a living, breathing exemplar of earning Ozpin’s trust. Oz trusted you! He trusted James. He trusted Glynda. He trusted LeonardoLionheart. The entire Inner Circle of Oz only exists because Oz decided to place his trust in a handful of people he deemed worthy of knowing the truth.

While he kept the main truth about Salem’s immortality to himself; that doesn’t erase the fact that he trusted his Inner Circle with everything else. The Maidens. The Relics. Even his own immortality curse and reincarnation cycle. Oz told it all to this particular small group of people because he believed he could trust in them. Oz believed in the integrity of ALL members of his Inner Circle because he trusted each and everyone of them….EVEN when they stab him in the back. Right V2 Ironwood? Right Lionheart?

He even believed in Team STRQ! I’m actually curious to know how muchdid this team know about the truth. We know he trusted Raven and Qrow byturning them into birds with his magic. So I’m curious to know if Summer andTai were also fully aware of ¾ of the truth that Oz trusted his main peoplewith. I’m assuming they did and they kept it as part of their secrets as well.

Speaking of—Qrow, are you forgetting that you also helped Oz keep and uphold some of those secrets?  He entrusted you with ¾ of the whole truth and you’ve been sitting on it as well as your own secrets that you were keeping from your family; particularly your young nieces.

In a nutshell, Qrow’s statement to Ruby further highlight’s the hero’s hypocrisywith Oz. For me, this line didn’t serve to debunk the fact that Ruby is turningto Oz. It only embellished it for me. It affirmed it.

Ruby is indeed turning into Oz and what’s sad is that Qrow, her own beloved uncle and mentor figure, is oblivious to this fact because he’s currently too blinded by both his sustained resentment towards Oz and his love for his niece.  

And it’s pretty much the same for everyone else. Weiss and Blake are pretty complacent with following Ruby’s lead and backing her up on her actions with Ironwood. Yang shows uncertainty but is otherwise complacent too. We still don’t know how Jaune, Nora and Ren feel in regards to this. I’d actually like to hear them weigh in their thoughts on Oz and Ruby’s actions towards James. But I’mconcerned we might not get that since, as evidenced by the PLOT, I think it’spretty clear who are the key drivers of this subplot for V7.

I feel like it’s going to be mostly our veteran Rosebuds—Ruby and Oscar—presenting the two differing sides of this subplot with deceiving Ironwood and I feel like Oz’s reconciliation is prevalent on the results of it.

My theory is that Oscar will be the key to jumpstarting the path to Oz’s reconciliation with the team.

Moreover, I feel like Oscar is going to need Ruby’s support in vouchingfor Oz with the rest of the team; especially with Qrow and possibly Yang and Jaune.

Since the running thing is that most of the hero team follow Ruby’s leadership, I think it can be safe to say that so long as Ruby still shows uncertainty with Oz, it’s going to be mirrored by the others. I think if Oscar gets Oz to come back fromhis isolation in his mind and then gains Ruby’s full trust by helping see thewrong in what she’s doing now by doing the exact thing Oz did while alsohelping her to understand where Oz was coming from.

The only person I think this isn’t go to win over is Qrow. At least, I think Qrow might end up needing more time to work out whatever is going on with him before he can “forgive Oz” since his anger towards him is all wrapped up in his issues with himself and his semblance which encompasses his entire life thus far basically. 

Before, Qrow looked to Oz for validation in the good that he was doing which was why the revelation hit him harder than anyone else. So until Qrow works out his inner skeletons, I think he’ll still be resistant to facing Oz again. Thisseason teased Qrow sharing good “comradery” with Clover. I’m curious to seewhere that will go and whether or not it will lead into Qrow dishing out somedetails on what his past was like with Oz back when he met him as a student ofBeacon.

As a matter of fact, I’m intrigued by any info regarding what Oz’s relationship was like with all the members of his Inner Circle since I believe it can lend to Oscar’s turn with the Merge. 

Like I have a Tin Solider headcanon that Ironwood has actually known Oz from since back when he used to be old self—meaning the man I’ll dub Zoroaster Ozpin, nicknamed ‘Zo’ for short BEFORE he became the man we know as Professor Ozpin.

We know who Oz is but…who was Oz before he became Oz? Who was Zo and did Ironwood know him personally?

Ironwood’s remark to Oscar about Oz’s disappearance not being normal definitely gave me that impression. I think it could be pretty cool if one of Oz’s closest known allies actually knew him before and after the Merge. It could help shed some much needed perspective for Oscar on what the Merge entails for him especially if he heard it from the mouth of someone who knew Oz closely for basically two lifetimes? I’d really love to see something like that done for the canon.  

But that’s only my hunch.

I’d honestly wish to discuss more on this subject since there is surprisingly more I can say about this. However this is getting a little too long for a simple response post. Just another day, am I right? XD So I’m going to end it right here.

I know you didn’t really ask me a question Miki-chan but I still wanted to provide my take on the subject matter you presented and I hope you enjoyed reading it. Feel free to answer or inbox me another message if you’d like as always ^u^)b Peace!

~LittleMissSquiggles (2019)

#miki-13 #squiggles answers: rwby #professor ozpin #oscar pine #ruby rose #oscar and ozpin #rwby theories #rwby volume 7 theories