#and i sure as shit don't want to take out student loans here in the u.s. like please i'm not trying to be in debt for the rest of my life

[puppy-steve]

i keep thinking about that one bachelor au post so here's my take on it (i've never watched the bachelor or bachelorette so bear with me)

the bachelor au where steve's the bachelor and eddie is a contestant, but not because he actually wants to be, he's just in it for the paycheck. robin is also a contestant but only because her parents sent in her application without her knowing and she isn't out to them yet.

they both think that steve is overrated and definitely over hyped. typical rich kid with enough money to buy people's love, yada yada.

until they both start going on dates with him and then realize that it isn't exactly true. yes, he's rich, but he's also kind and funny and actually genuine once you get past the mask he puts on for everybody. eventually, eddie and robin find themselves looking forward to their dates.

only robin doesn't want to date him. he's slowly moving his way up the ranks to becoming her best friend, sure, but this is still tv. she's still expected to kiss him and confess her feelings for him. and when the time comes for her to do that, she can't.

they're in venice. steve is leaning in and robin is very aware of the cameras filming them. the back of her neck goes cold and her stomach churns and suddenly she's running in the opposite direction. her italian is passable so she ends up getting a taxi back to the hotel production put them in.

she locks herself in her en suite and presses her forehead against the cold porcelain. she doesn't know how long she sits there until her phone buzzes and she checks the notification. the nausea rises up her throat again. she forgot she gave steve her number.

there's a knock on her room door and another text.

r u ok? can i come in?

robin debates it but figures she owes him and explanation. she lets him in and they sit on the bathroom floor. robin tells him why she's on the show in the first place, about how she didn't know her parents signed her up until she got the phone call from the casting director. tells him that even if she gets kicked off, she can still use the money for her student loans.

she stares at the water in the toilet bowl when she comes out to him.

steve is quiet, processing, before he laughs. he's not laughing at her, he promises, but "robin. you're on a show with more than a handful of other queers, you know that, right? i'm bisexual."

and yeah, robin knew that, but it's different when you're not into the guy you're supposed to be romancing at all.

steve reassures her that it's okay, and that he still hopes they can be friends and keep in touch after the show ends.

robin would like that.

she apologizes to the production crew the next day and they're understanding and steve and robin get a re-do of their date. it's much more genuine this time, filled with laughs and digs as they eat gelato along the river and people watch and gossip.

it's the best robin's ever been on.

eddie, on the other hand. he's absolutely head over heels for steve, which is surprising even for him. he's trailer park trash, he's got absolutely nothing on steve harrington. not the name, not the money.

hell, the very first day, he insulted the guy's food choices right to his face without knowing it.

eddie wants the earth to give way underneath him and swallow him whole.

he plays it up on their first date, all fake niceties and empty smiles, until steve tells him point blank, "the guy that said the buffet was shit that first night? i want to get to know him."

eddie's flabbergasted.

steve opens up about all the fake people in his life, the ones who just take advantage of them and use him for their own gains. the ones who don't even bother to get to know the real him. the one that likes to play guitar and hang out with the gaggle of teenagers that follow him around all the time for some unknown reason.

he tells eddie about what he wants to do with his life, not what someone else has planned for him and eddie falls deeper and deeper.

this time, when steve leans in for a kiss, eddie doesn't shy away. their lips press together and it's the best goddamn kiss either one of them have ever had.

the show has a deadline, of course, and steve can't just spend all his time with eddie and robin. there are other contestants. robin knows her rose is strictly platonic and steve has already called her multiple times freaking out about his growing crush on eddie. she knows eddie has this in the bag.

the final night comes and the contestants have dwindled. there's only a small group of them left: eddie, robin, and another guy and girl they didn't bother learning the names of.

when steve chooses eddie after a moment of dramatic silence that kind of puts his own dm dramatics to shame, eddie doesn't hesitate to jump in steve's arms, wrap his legs around his waist, and plant a sloppy one on him right in front of the cameras.

#cj talks #something something steve goes on a tv show to find romance and ends up finding his romantic and platonic soulmates #steddie #steddie fic #cj writes #i liked being your schmuck #platonic stobin #the three muskequeers

[scoops-stevie-archive]

i keep thinking about that one bachelor au post so here's my take on it (i've never watched the bachelor or bachelorette so bear with me)

the bachelor au where steve's the bachelor and eddie is a contestant, but not because he actually wants to be, he's just in it for the paycheck. robin is also a contestant but only because her parents sent in her application without her knowing and she isn't out to them yet.

they both think that steve is overrated and definitely over hyped. typical rich kid with enough money to buy people's love, yada yada.

until they both start going on dates with them and then realize that it isn't exactly true. yes, he's rich, but he's also kind and funny and actually genuine once you get past the mask he puts on for everybody. eventually, eddie and robin find themselves looking forward to their dates.

only robin doesn't want to date him. he's slowly moving his way up the ranks to becoming her best friend, sure, but this is still tv. she's still expected to kiss him and confess her feelings for him. and when the time comes for her to do that, she can't.

they're in venice. steve is leaning in and robin is very aware of the cameras filming them. the back of her neck goes cold and her stomach churns and suddenly she's running in the opposite direction. her italian is passable so she ends up getting a taxi back to the hotel production put them in.

she locks herself in her en suite and presses her forehead against the cold porcelain. she doesn't know how long she sits there until her phone buzzes and she checks the notification. the nausea rises up her throat again. she forgot she gave steve her number.

there's a knock on her room door and another text.

r u ok? can i come in?

robin debates it but figures she owes him and explanation. she lets him in and they sit on the bathroom floor. robin tells him why she's on the show in the first place, about how she didn't know her parents signed her up until she got the phone call from the casting director. tells him that even if she gets kicked off, she can still use the money for her student loans.

she stares at the water in the toilet bowl when she comes out to him.

steve is quiet, processing, before he laughs. he's not laughing at her, he promises, but "robin. you're on a show with more than a handful of other queers, you know that, right? i'm bisexual."

and yeah, robin knew that, but it's different when you're not into the guy you're supposed to be romancing at all.

steve reassures her that it's okay, and that he still hopes they can be friends and keep in touch after the show ends.

robin would like that.

she apologizes to the production crew the next day and they're understanding and steve and robin get a re-do of their date. it's much more genuine this time, filled with laughs and digs as they eat gelato along the river and people watch and gossip.

it's the best robin's ever been on.

eddie, on the other hand. he's absolutely head over heels for steve, which is surprising even for him. he's trailer park trash, he's got absolutely nothing on steve harrington. not the name, not the money.

hell, the very first day, he insulted the guy's food choices right to his face without knowing it.

eddie wants the earth to give way underneath him and swallow him whole.

he plays it up on their first date, all fake niceties and empty smiles, until steve tells him point blank, "the guy that said the buffet was shit that first night? i want to get to know him."

eddie's flabbergasted.

steve opens up about all the fake people in his life, the ones who just take advantage of them and use him for their own gains. the ones who don't even bother to get to know the real him. the one that likes to play guitar and hang out with the gaggle of teenagers that follow him around all the time for some unknown reason.

he tells eddie about what he wants to do with his life, not what someone else has planned for him and eddie falls deeper and deeper.

this time, when steve leans in for a kiss, eddie doesn't shy away. their lips press together and it's the best goddamn kiss either one of them have ever had.

the show has a deadline, of course, and steve can't just spend all his time with eddie and robin. there are other contestants. robin knows her rose is strictly platonic and steve has already called her multiple times freaking out about his growing crush on eddie. she knows eddie has this in the bag.

the final night comes and the contestants have dwindled. there's only a small group of them left: eddie, robin, and another guy and girl they didn't bother learning the names of.

when steve chooses eddie after a moment of dramatic silence that kind of puts his own dm dramatics to shame, eddie doesn't hesitate to jump in steve's arms, wrap his legs around his waist, and plant a sloppy one on him right in front of the cameras.

#steddie #steddie ficlet #platonic stobin #the three muskequeers #something something steve going on a tv show to find romance and ending up finding both his romantic and platonic soulmates #cj talks #prompts

[privateanxieties]

these final hours

Summary: When your job becomes too overwhelming, Frank decides enough is enough. A brief conversation reveals that things run deeper than he thought.

----------------------------------------

His verdict comes down one Sunday evening, breaking you from the melancholic stupor you're well into traversing.

"Alright, that's it."

There's a part of you that wants to protest immediately. It's always the first one to make itself known, because it's the one that feels the most fear. No, you cannot just quit your job, no matter the toll it's taking on you. No matter how many people tell you it's making you fade. No matter how little you stand to gain from keeping it up. Because if you do, then - then -

"Don't look at me like that. I said that's enough. You ain't going tomorrow."

There is, however, another part of you: the one that could cry out in sheer relief just by being presented with an out.

You don't even know what it is, exactly. Everyone has to work who was not born fortunate. People have much harder jobs than you do, and they get paid even less. So many struggle to make ends meet. You have neither the long, nor the short straw. The work is completely average, though perhaps below your capabilities. Definitely below your studies - God knows you're not justifying any of those student loans, save for maybe lots of jobs requiring some kind of degree these days. No, you can't quite grasp where all this melancholia with regard to your job originates.

When you really look at your situation, you have to abstain from getting carried away by overwhelming disappointment over how unjustified all this grief seems. Things could be a hell of a lot worse. People go through things at work that render them suicidal, and here you are, on a Sunday night, sad that you have to wake up for your commute.

"Sweetheart, you gotta talk to me. Alright? Can't handle seein' you like this. Nothin's worth it, you hear me? Ain't a goddamn thing in this world worth what this shit does to you."

Frank's hand on your knee makes you immediately tense up. It's instantaneous sensory overload from a simple touch and you can't explain it. It bothers you that you can't explain because it's another thing that's wrong with you. Another overreaction to an inoffensive event.

Before you can move away or even just barely take a breath, the warmth of his skin disappears. You hate the relief that washes over you. Who feels better when someone they love stops being affectionate? You, apparently. Always against the grain.

"You know I'm not making you do anything. Yeah? Need to hear that you know that."

A nod is what you manage, but eye contact has yet to happen. You theorize that if it were to happen, if you were to see him in this moment of wild vulnerability, you'd probably want to run from him and all else in the world.

"You don't have shit to prove to anyone. You included. Can't try to beat yourself into a mold if that mold's just gonna take away all the best parts of you."

Your chest rattles, and you try to keep your breath from becoming a pained gasp.

"You know, just 'cause I read doesn't mean I'm good with words. That's all you. But I'll say whatever I gotta say to get through. I ain't losin' the woman I love to a fucking job. And I sure as shit ain't letting her believe she's gotta do what the world says she's gotta do. Break herself as many times as she has to just to get approval. Can't do shit with approval, I'll tell you that."

Against all odds, words tumble out of you like a knocked over pot of crayons. Sharpness everywhere.

"I fail at - at everything. I haven't done one thing right my whole life. I quit everything I start. Everything - Frank, I can't st-"

An involuntary sob rips straight from your heart.

"I can't stand myself. I'm tired of being tired. I'm tired of my days not belonging to me. I'm tired of getting nowhere. I'm tired of not having any good reason to be like this. Every day I have to know, I have to wake up and go to sleep and never stop knowing that I am the way that I am. And I wish something would just happen so I don't have to keep-"

It stops. The flow of words you've never said out loud, even to yourself, stops dead. The silence floods the remaining space without delay but it, too, does so fruitlessly.

Frank has heard enough. Enough to know exactly what you've sworn you would protect him from.

"Will you look at me?"

The softest plea. You don't think you've ever witnessed it.

"Need to see it. Yeah? I need to see it in your eyes, what you just said. And then we'll figure it out. But I need to know, sweetheart. Because if I gotta protect you from your own mind, Imma be honest with you - I need different gear."

It's a weak attempt at humor, but not completely unsuccessful. Mostly you just know that Frank means every word. And you know, as your gaze meets his at last, that the part of you that always resists outside help has lost some strength. You're not too far gone to be able to admit that your thoughts have been getting bleaker. It's a newness that scares even you, who's been down this path before. Somewhere, it seems a turn arrived that even you weren't aware you'd taken.

But Frank is nothing if not relentless. There is no road he won't track you down on and no path inaccessible to someone of his determination. You can see it in his eyes, along with the subtlest glimmer. You're making him worry, and when Frank worries, he plans. Ten, maybe twenty steps ahead - which is why he locks away your phone with his guns for the night. It's safe to say you won't have an alarm for tomorrow, and the relief that fact brings isn't unaccompanied by guilt. Frank soothes it with promises and his unique brand of realism - you'll get through everything together, as long as you're honest. No more hiding, no more detours.

You're not sure how good you'll be at it, and when you voice the thought to him, Frank doubles down as he pulls the covers back from the bed and you both slip under them.

"You know what being good at therapy looks like?"

You hum your curiosity.

"Not needing relief anymore. Promise to let me know when we get there. Yeah?"

You press your fragile promise into the skin of his cheek, tucking your head below his chin and wrapping as much of your body around him as possible and, for the first time in weeks, drifting off instead of fighting to sleep.

.

.

.

-fin-

A/N: just a short piece that I hope brings you some comfort if you need it.

#frank castle x reader #frank castle x you #the punisher x reader #frank castle fic #frank castle fanfiction

[agendabymooner]

supermodel ! daniel r. x ofc (måneskin member!ofc)

"yeah, she's a master, my compliments."

summary: an episode of the måneskin tour vlog was uploaded and people are not having it. OR lester really tried not to cry as she spoke about her engagement and life with daniel ricciardo. danny only wanted to fulfill her dream without her worrying about the cost.

content warning: brief use of explicit language, fluff, dirty jokes (no smut), lester being me irl (mentions of money and middle class girlies), måneskin members making their appearance, smau/video clips content.

note: writing this to fulfill my imagination that someone would come swooping in and save me from my student loan (a joke, i will be pursuing press relations this year hopefully). i'm going to uni this year. also. we've had way too much unhinged danny and lester. that's why most of the posts i'm uploading are fluff or relating to babysitting toto wolff's kids. enjoy xx

masterlist

MÅNESKIN TOUR VLOG #2

[first caption: (italian) my fiancé is asking me if we should have a rustic-themed wedding. i told him "mio caro, if we want a good marriage, we can't use our yeehaw persona as a factor of our wedding!" he asked me if i had an input, all i said was "i haven't thought of anything yet."]

[second: person: and your wedding is in december. lester: we've hired a wedding planner, of course. whenever he's on a race or at home and i'm touring we would have a zoom meeting with our coordinator. i'm not being useless, i promise. my planner has been useful so far, and we've already come up with guests, location, entourages. it's challenging but exciting.]

[third: (italian) "your wedding is going to be amazing, from what i can hear" i hope so. danny pushed me into planning it out with him because i've told him about not wanting to impose. everything were so expensive- i still think everything's pricey. he pushed me, asking me what i want for our wedding. he didn't like it when i think about money, because apparently it's stopping me from pursuing my dreams.]

[fourth: (italian) i like to be independent and earn money on my own. but the kind of wedding that i wanted-it wasn't on my budget. when danny said "tell me what you want" all i can think about is him taking control of the matter. his budget, not mine. beggars can't be choosers.]

[fifth: he wants an answer. at first i wanted to joke, but then i remembered vividly watching a tape from the wedding of princess diana. she had this really nice dress. and she got married and she had all of these pictures in a palace. i told him, "if you don't mind, i would like to get married in a castle. be a princess for a day." he looked at me funny for thinking that he would be bothered by anything that i'm saying]

[sixth: i still feel like i'm imposing whenever i get invited to gatherings with/by his friends or family. it's like the same with (my) paddock passes- i know i've earned my place but it still feels like i'm not one of them and never will be. but the thing is: i love danny. he makes me feel like i belong somehow. and i feel like i'd be more than willing to give my body and soul to him as soon as he asks for it.]

[seventh: *sniffles* (italian) i need to stop speaking about him especially if he's not here. he's got some sort of sense when i speak about him and he'd text me (to ask) if i was chatting shit. but he's been amazing. i cannot imagine spewing out the worst things especially to/about him. those two years of being together and my six years of pining on twitter were worth it. i just hope he sees me as his equal not as a burden.]

bonus !!!

f1tillywolff posted !

user1 replied: "he's fiancé" sounds like danny saying "i'm baby!" while sipping on an apple juice lmfao 🤣

user2 replied: i'm sure with learning how to speak french fast, she should be able to learn and speak wombat.

user3 replied to user2: bestie wtf is speaking wombat? 😭

user2 replied to user3: it's when you can't speak joey, you resort to wombat.

f1tillywolff posted !

user1 replied: why am i even excited for the reception nood art painting 💀 it's nice to know she's still as messy

user2 replied: first pic really said "lester alessandro, h0rny on main, caught in 4k" 😔

f1tillywolff replied to user2: nah that's just lester being lester. it's been the wildest 2 years for us danester dumpster fans.

user3: her attention going from her fiancé to the mechanical bull really shows you where her priorities lie 🤡🤣

loressandro replied to user3: everything reminds me of him 🤠

#daniel ricciardo x ofc #danny ric x reader #dan ricciardo imagine #daniel ricciardo imagine #daniel ricciardo x oc #daniel ricciardo fluff #formula one fanfiction #formula one fic #formula one imagine #formula one smau #formula one x oc #red bull racing imagine #f1 imagine #daniel riccardo x reader #daniel ricciardo smau #f1 fic #f1 smau #f1 crack #formula one x reader #formula one x y/n #formula one x ofc #danny ric x oc #f1 drivers x reader #dr3 #danny ric #oracle red bull racing

[mybrainismelted]

ok, so this is my first publish gallavich fic - please go easy on me! A.U.gust Day 9 - College @gallavichthings

Ian is pretty sure he's never been this nervous in his life. The first day of College shouldn't be THAT big of a deal, right? But he's got butterflies he can't shake, and he thinks he might sweat right through his shirt before his first class is done.

"Breathe" he reminds himself as he searches for just the right seat - not too close to the front, not in the middle, and not too far back so he can't hear. Choosing a seat is serious business to the redhead.

Finally finding his perfect spot, he gets settled in and pulls out a notebook and pen. Finally taking some time to look around he feels his heart sink at the realization that everyone else seems to have fancy new laptops out and open. Shit.

"Ok, if I can have everyone's attention please?" he hears from the front of the room. "My name is Professor Micheals, but you can call me Brian. This is Mickey, my assistant. He will be available to answer any questions you may have."

Looking at where Brian is pointing, Ian feels his heart stop and then start racing at the sight of one of the most gorgeous men he has ever seen. Inky black hair, one eyebrow arched perfectly, and just a hint of a smirk tugging at his mouth as he waves to the assembled class.

As the class moves on, Ian struggles to stay focused on scribbling notes as fast as he can, while his eyes keep wandering to see what Mickey is doing. Usually sitting and apparently paying attention to what Brian is saying, but occasionally Ian has to quickly avert his gaze when Mickey turns to scan over the students.

When the class finally ends, he scrambles to get out of the room, not wanting to risk giving himself away and causing problems for himself on the first day of class. This continues for the next few weeks, Ian unable to keep his eyes off Mickey in class, and spending his nights scolding himself for his ridiculous schoolboy crush. Unfortunately, there comes a day when Ian realizes he is going to have to talk to the man - they have a paper due, and he's pretty sure it has to be emailed. He's just not sure how to make that happen given his lack of access to any kind of computer.

After the next class he takes a deep breath, steels himself, and approaches the ever-so-delicious looking object of his nightly fantasies.

"Ummm, hi Mickey?" he mutters, not 100% sure he actually said it out loud. Mickey turns around and quirks that perfect eyebrow. "Yeah, hey Red, what can I do for you?"

Ian explains his dilemma, and that he needs some help figuring out how to get his assignment in on time. "Ok, yeah, I had that problem my first year too." Mickey explains "There's a laptop loan program through the library, but you have to sign up pretty early. Let's walk over there now and I'll show you how it all works, see if there is one available."

"Uh, yeah, ummm… sure" Is all Ian is able to stumble out as the shorter man packs up his stuff and turns to lead the way out of the room.

Mickey does his best to engage Ian in some small talk as they walk, obviously sensing that he is uncomfortable about something. As they talk, they are both surprised to realize that they are both from the South Side of Chicago - and probably knew a lot of the same people growing up. "Sure explains the no laptop thing" Mickey says as they approach the doors to the library "Not many from our neighbourhood can afford that kinda stuff when they first get here"

Unfortunately for Ian, as Mickey had suspected, there are no loaner laptops available for the next 2 weeks, which means Ian definitely can't get one in time to turn his paper in this Friday. "shit, shit, shit" he mutters, wracking his brain to see if there is a way he can scrape together the money to buy a used junker from someone and hope it works.

Mickey looks at him for a minute, scratching his eyebrow with his thumb, and finally blurts out "look, I don't normally do this, but if you wanna come by my place on Friday you can use my laptop to type it up and send it."

"Yeah?" Ian whispers, completely overwhelmed by the offer. "are you sure? I can bring beer and pizza, I'll find a way to pay you back for this, I promise!" At that, he thinks he sees a flicker of something in Mickey's eyes, right before he winks and replies "Oh I'm sure you'll think of something, man"

Ian feels himself flushing, and can't help but think as he takes down Mickey's address and phone number that maybe, just maybe, College isn't so scary after all.

#gallavich #gallavich fanfic #a.u.gust 2023 #college au #eeek #am I really doing this

[beezelbxb]

-- bf akitos birthday !!!

boyfriend akitos birthday!!!

a/n :: mei's at my house rn and their snorting like a pig AND MEI TYPED AKITO SHINONOME SO MANY TIMES IN MY PHONE TO A POINT WHERE IT REMMEBERS HIS NAME HELP

people :: akito shinonome (small mention of ena)

today wasn't just any day. today is AKITOS birthday. November 12th. You had to get him a gift. You didn't get him one yesterday, you totally forgot until ENA reminded you, and you were up all night studying for exsams and you didnt bother to get hin one, it was too late.

"I'll get him one tomorrow"

is what you thought when you rolled into bed. it's the winter now, your favrotie season. This is the season of love, gifts, snow, and joy. You get to spend all of your winter with your lover Akito and cuddle up while temptures drop. You just need to get him the perfect gift, to show your affection. show your worthiness. As the sun was rising in the east your loud ass alarm went off and scared you yet again. And you did the same thing you always do get up, send a good morning text to akito, brush your teeth, take a shower, wash and do your hair, get dressed and go get something to eat. But this time, after eating you set out to find a gift for Akito. You threw on your coat, put on your boots, wear the scarf that he gave you and get a gift. what you were going to get him was the main thing in your mind. You're whole mind went blank then--cheesecake! You went to the bakery first. You were going to get him cheesecake at his favrotie bakery. You walked into the store and the little bell at the top rang.

"ah-- y/n!! back again! the usual?"

the owner of the store greeted you again. He's bubbly as always.

"hii!! it's aktio's birthday today! do you know what his favrotie cheesecake is?"

"birthday?! Well happy birthday to him! one cheesecake coming right up!"

"how much will it be?"

you hoped this shit was free because you know damn well you have no money!! You just payed off your student loan and you're in debt. You looked around the small bakery desperately trying to find a card with a discount.

"On the house! Tell Akito said happy birthday."

you took a dramatic gasp. He slid the cheesecake to you. You could already smell the cheesecake through the box.

"Thank you so much!! Are you sure??"

he better be sure or else you're going to commit felony and steal this shit

"Yep! as I said, on the house."

You picked up the warm box said thank you and ran out before he changed his mind on you. Now you have to find another gift to give to him that's just not to eat. You decided to go to the ring shop and pick up a nice silver ring for him. It was surpizing that you haven't seen him today at all or he hasn't even texted you. You picked up a silver ring and went to the cashier.

"Hi."

You looked her dead in the eyes with a expressionless face

"Hello. Is this all?"

The cashier was really nice and was smiling big at you. It was scary.

"Yes. How much will it be."

You were sweating at this point. She rang you up.

"It's my boyfriends birthday today. Do I get a discount."

You said it more so like it wasn't a question. Like a demand. Give me a discount.

"Since your new shopper here, I'll give you a discount!"

"Thanks. It's my boyfriends birthday today. Can I have a bigger discount? we've been together for 4 years now. This is our marrage ring. Im purposing to him after this."

You looked into her soul. You didn't laugh at your lies and looked like a psychopath. But you wanted that fucking ring for free.

"Uhm... I don't know...let me see with my manage-"

"I need this ring lady so if you don't give it to me know I'm running away with it. Please?"

She looked at you with a funny look. You're done with this bullshit. You ran out. Well now you have a snazzy new ring to give to your boyfriend. That shit to long to get through. You ran all the way home. You threw your jacket on the floor and quickly flung your shoes off. You texted akito:

"Akito!!! Akito wjen are we metinv upppppp!!!!!"

"Idk"

ugh he's such a bitch. You went through all this stuff for him.

"Whatevez..."

You went to your room to wrap the gift. You put your coat back, shoes back on, and did your hair really quick. You grabbed your bike and bikeroad into his house.

knock...knock...knock...

You knocked on his door. He opened it. He was still wearing his pj's and his hair was a mess. He looked so cute.

"ah--y/n. You're here. C'mere."

He hugged you tight and kissed your head. You could feel his warmth.

"Come on in."

He pulled out a chair for you and brewed some tea.

"Sooooooo..."

"So?"

He said in the most unimpressed tone

"Akito it's your birthday."

"Ok"

"I got you something!!! Open the box"

He sat down and put a sugar cube in his tea. He opened the box and he grinned real big. He took his spoon and cut me a slice. And then cut himself a slice bigger than mine. While he was eating like a pig I got the box with the ring inside.

"Akito if you would stop eating so fast, I'll give you your other gift."

"Mhmhmgngh"

You slid the box where his hand was. He opened it and the delicate ring was inside. He smiled soft smile this time and got out of his seat and hugged you. You hugged him back for a long time and he kissed your cheek.

After the lovey dovey things you and boyfriend Akito went to go watch a movie at the movie theater. You guys watched a slasher movie and it turned out Akito was more scared than you were during the movie. You guys walked home in the fog afterwards. Then cuddled in his bed. He whispered onto your ear:

"best birthday ever."

#project sekai x reader #akito shinonome x reader #shinonome akito x reader #proseka x reader #project sekai imagines

[poisonouswritings]

heyo!! i’d like to request for the m3 being with an mc who’s a college student (specifically involving art) and has to go their uni through a portal?? tysm ! <33 stay safe dear!

1. Aisogkgudisa pet names (⁄ ⁄•⁄ω⁄•⁄ ⁄)

2. I am currently sitting on a hole for a golf tournament and just nearly got hit in the face with a ball so I am very much not staying safe (◍•ᴗ•◍)✧*。

GN!Reader, Good End where MC and co. can travel between universes at will

Felix Escellun

Let's say that you are,, a,,, painter.

Luckily there's plenty of material nearby to use as inspo! The soaring towers of Fathom, the bustling market of Porrima, the gothic spires of Blackthorn Hall, and that's not even mentioning the rainbow of flora Florian's got in his garden

That being said Florian is a painter and I think he'd be more than happy to share some tips with you! That can range anywhere from picking the right palette for the tone of the piece to centering your subject to composition to whatever it is you're looking for.

I've said it before and I'll gladly repeat it, Florian probably makes his own paints and he will loan you some

Felix,, probably doesn't know a lot about painting? Like I think he appreciates art and all, I just don't think he's ever actually done it. But he will gladly take you around Blackthorn and talk about the different paintings there (aka he asked Florian the night before and made note cards except he then lost the note cards so he's kinda just bullshitting)

He probably knows some art museums to take you to tho!!

He does his best to accommodate you however he can. Helps you set up a little studio and find the best supplies and makes sure you take breaks when you need them

Your school is having a showcase and you bring him along,, because he definitely has the aesthetic (and posh behavior) of a Respected Artist, when he proclaims that Yours Is Definitely The Best Here, people listen.

If it's a competition that he casually (jokingly?) suggests yeeting the other entries into the Void. You're pretty sure he's joking.

,,,,, maybe keep an eye on him just in case

Felix,,, in a,,,,,, beret,,,,,,,,,,

Anisa Anka

Anisa my beloved~

We're gonna say you do sculpting! Why? Because I want you all to imagine That One Ghost Scene with Anisa,, with her hair up and she's got some clay on her face and she's giggling as you try to guide her,,, looking up at you with those hungry eyes she gets when she's excited,,,, hehehehehe,,,,,,,,,

Anyways moving on Rivath probably has some unique materials/methods you can use to practice!! And if your class lets you do home projects (I've never taken a sculpting class so just bare with me) then you can totally get help with it.

Azimuth uses a little bit of future sight to help you pick what to do,,,

You can make Anisa little sculptures,,, like a clay bird or something,,,,,, She Is So Excited. Will treasure it forever by which I mean it gets lost in her room about ten minutes later

I think she's super interested in what you're doing!! Loves hearing you talk about it and (if you let her) will sit in your studio to keep you company while you work. Sometimes she tries to make her own stuff but it usually doesn't turn out well. She gets a little frustrated until you remind her that it takes a lot of time and a lot of practice. Maybe share some stories about your earlier disasters.

If you do take her to a school exhibition,, and I highly recommend you do it'll be so fun for her,,, there is a 30% chance she'll go find your teacher to ask if there's anything she can do to help you.

You bring Azimuth and Saaros,, Saaros is shit-talking everything while Azimuth is gushing over everything. Idiots™

Sage Lesath

You're a photographer!

Please,, get Sage his own SD card,,,, he loves taking pictures but he has no idea wtf he's doing so a lot of them are incredibly blurry and you just don't want that on your SD card.

He tries to take a picture of himself but he forgot the flash was on and it blinds him and he gets [] this close to throwing your camera out the window on impulse. And then immediately goes find Felix and Anisa to flash it in their faces because he thinks it's funny

He's more than happy to take you out to interesting parts of town or certain spots in the forest where you can get really nice shots but I just,, don't think he goes with you all that often? Or like he goes with you but he gets distracted and tends to wander around a bit because taking pictures can be a slow process and he can only sit still and quiet for so long.

If you point the camera at him he will do dumb poses.

Loves taking pictures of you!! He tries to take one when you're asleep because he thinks you look adorable but the flash is on and you nearly kick him in the balls on impulse because you think you're being attacked or something. He's proud of your reflexes

You can bring him to a showcase if you want,, but,,, after he (loudly) brags about how good your stuff is, I think he'd get bored pretty fast. Also showcases kinda require you be quiet-ish and that would bug him. If it's a competition then he's perfectly content to wait until the end because he wants to see you win :) and if you don't win then he says it was rigged because yours is clearly the best >:(

#fictif last legacy #last legacy #felix escellun x reader #anisa anka x reader #sage lesath x reader #felix escellun #felix iskandar escellun #fictif felix #last legacy felix #anisa anka #fictif anisa #last legacy anisa #sage lesath #fictif sage #last legacy sage #ozzy answers #ozzy daydreams

[hinatastinygiant]

Chapter Seven

Mendax

Pairing: Haikyuu!! x Fem!Reader

previous | next | 2099

ONE WEEK LATER

Kuroo and Tsukishima have made a habit of going fishing every other day around noon. It was obviously Kuroo's idea, but Tsukishima agrees to tag along just to make sure Kuroo doesn't run off with the fishing pole and bait. Or at least that's what he tells you.

When they're gone, you get a bit of time alone with Bokuto. You usually spend this time changing his bandages, cleaning the wound, or something to that extent. Today, however, he had asked if the two of you could go for a walk instead. You won't go far from the bus, just around the plot of land you've sectioned off for yourself. You agree and take a walk around the outside of your little garden.

"I used to be a college student before the country shut down," he admits to you with a sigh, "but I ended up dropping out 'cause my grades were shit. I spent too much time training for the sports team I was on but eventually, I was forced to quit that, too. I was about to get a job instead when the outage happened. I just wanted to support my family in any way I could. Besides, I needed to do somethin' about my loans."

"That sounds rough, I sure know about those loans, too," you nod as you walk slowly beside him.

"Yeah, but I think maybe it's a good thing the outage happened. It gave me a chance to start over in a place where I don't need to worry about those things," he sighs.

You smile softly as you think about what he has said. A few patients have said that to you before as well. You suppose for some people they are better in a world where they don't have money collectors, debt, bills to pay, or any of the other worries common in the time before the outage and the rich people fled the country.

"What about you?" Bokuto asks, pulling you out of your thoughts.

"Well, like I told you before, I was a doctor before everything happened."

"But aren't you like super young?" he asks, trying not to be rude with his question.

You laugh at his attempt to be so polite while also asking your age. "I've always been a year younger than everyone in all my classes. It just happened that way, I'm not special or anything like that."

Bokuto smiles at you. "You're more special than you think. Don't know many people so willing to go out of their way for patients in a world like this one. I don't know what I'd do without you let alone all the other people you've helped before me. I'm sure they'd agree."

"Thanks for that," you smile. "It's nice to hear you feel that way."

"Any time you want to talk, I'll be here. I'm not planning on leaving anyway," he grins kindly.

"You could," you grin back devilishly, "but you wouldn't get very far."

"That almost makes you sound like you're keeping me here against my will. You're not planning on killing me, are you?" he hums curiously.

"Not yet but maybe if I get too attached to our talks then I won't want to let you go," you laugh.

KUROO'S P.O.V.

Tsukishima and I are coming back from the lake with a few fish in the freezer that Y/N lets us borrow for our trips. We hold onto opposite ends, sharing the weight, as we walk back to our base.

"It's nice that Y/N lets us borrow all her things," I say with a smile at the thought of her generosity, especially after I told her how I was in jail.

"She trusts us," Tsukishima nods.

I smirk when I see that look in his eyes like he knows more than Bokuto or I do. But he did meet her the same day as us so I don't know what his deal is. "Oh? You think she trusts you, Tsukishima?" 

"I think Y/N trusts me enough to do simple tasks like go fishing in the lake but I don't think she'd trust me if I held a gun to her head," he explains.

"Ha! You really think you could do something like that?" I continue to push him.

"What are you implying?" he then questions me.

"Nothing," I shrug. "Just that you were supposed to leave the day we met, right? So what made you stick around?"

"Y/N has a good garden, location, and a bus. What more do I need to say?"

"If I didn't know better I'd think you're staying for her," I admit my thoughts to him.

Tsukishima says no remark, but when we come out of the forest we see Y/N and Bokuto near the garden laughing about something. Tsukishima pauses and puts down his half of the freezer. I stop beside him.

"You're ridiculous. A person would have to be insane to have feelings for someone in a situation like this," he scoffs.

"All the best people are crazy, though," I grin. "Does that answer the thought I can see you pondering?"

Tsukishima looks at me and shakes his head before picking up the container of fish and continuing to walk again. I go along with him, still holding the opposite side, and make our way towards the bus.

"You better make your move soon then."

Later that evening, we all enjoy a good dinner together outside in the new lawn chairs we bought from our trip to Walmart. I wanted to go to Dick's Sporting Goods but Y/N just rolled her eyes at me and so did Tsukishima. Neither of them took me seriously. But apparently it was 'too far away'.

"Well, I'm going to the lake to wash off," Y/N sighs as she stands up. She walks onto the bus and returns a few short minutes later with a towel and a change of clothes before walking away. The three of us watch as she walks off.

"So what were you two talking about before?" I ask Bokuto once Y/N disappears beneath the trees.

"Life," he shrugs, "before all of this."

"Hm," I nod. "And what's your opinion of her?"

"I couldn't imagine where I'd be without her," he admits.

"Dead. Run over. On the side of the road decaying," Tsukishima mutters. I nudge him and shake my head to show my disapproval, but luckily Bokuto doesn't seem to hear him. He's too lost in thought talking about her.

"She's a goddamn good doctor, too!" Bokuto remarks proudly. "If this was in the before I'd love to take her out on a nice date, let her meet my friends, all that stuff!"

I grin at his comment. Now we're finally getting somewhere interesting. "And then? Would you really do that with your doctor?"

Bokuto smiles back but for once he doesn't actually open his big mouth. Tsukishima, instead, clears his throat and pipes up before he gets any more details he doesn't want to hear.

"How much longer until you're feeling better to go without the crutches?" he asks Bokuto.

"Two more weeks," a blissful response is given.

Tsukishima sighs and shakes his head. I laugh at the interaction. I knew tagging along with these three would be a good time.

previous | next | 2099

Taglist: @isentsworld

#haikyuu x reader #haikyuu x you #haikyuu x y/n #haikyuu x fem!reader #haikyuu #x reader #x fem!reader #haikyuu series #haikyuu self insert #haikyuu x female reader #hinatastinygiant #fanfiction series #fanfiction #fanfic #tsukishima #bokuto #kenma #kuroo #akaashi #hinata #atsumu miya #osamu miya #sakusa #yachi hitoka #lev haiba #alisa haiba #kageyama #oikawa #nishinoya #tanaka

[capriciouscaprine]

okay, ex roommate post tiem to get it out of my system

(feel free to be nosey that's why I'm posting about it on tumblr)

first of all, why not just TALK to someone about this? bc I don't like social interaction and I'm too busy to see anyone, but also bc my ex roommate is a self-employed traditional artist, so if social opinion about them tanks, that could genuinely jeopardize their income, and they didn't actually do anything worse than be a kinda crappy friend on the whole and a shitty roommate in their last few months of living with me

me obsessing over them and using them as my secret competition is bc I'm mentally ill, not bc they 'deserve it' or 'need to be taken down a notch' or should be 'cancelled' or anything

so, my ex roommate had a shit life growing up, right up there with being any given social worker's average case of a low income child who's dealt with physical abuse, neglect, and bouts of homelessness; then, they graduated high school and used student loans to go to university to get a degree in fine art, and finally experiencing reliable housing while they had that student loan money; they pick up food service jobs while in college, start building their social media presence, and take home every classroom art supply that isn't nailed down, just like any professional artist does at the start of their career

fast forward approximately five years after graduation

they're still only just building up their online presence and they've never held down a job for more than about 10 months at a time; all of their previous living situations have imploded and they're living with a family member who doesn't help them do anything and expects them to magically get a good job and move out any day now, even though they don't have a car and they live in the suburbs

enter me, the person who owns a crappy little house that (eventually) has a bedroom open up so they can move in and a job to recommend them to

(I'm cutting out a bit here to maintain plausible anonymity)

they start out strong, decorating the room, cooking and sharing meals (not a routine in our house, just something nice they do), and building up their art income while they make money from the job I helped them get; they even manage to get a car!

but then, as a year at the job approaches, they have a harder and harder time getting along with their boss, and it's unclear if the job really sucks that bad or if my roommate isn't communicating well; they also seem to be failing to balance art, their other job, and general life, doing things like going on art binges only to crash and get an hour of sleep and be late to work the next day; eventually, they experience a significant health event, and they get fired for being absent from their job for a month

they focus on their art business, talking about how they're gonna explore more types of social media promotion and showing off how much their income has grown since they were at their relative's house; I've started my masters degree at this point, and then the pandemy hits, so we spend more time hanging out, especially since my other roommate had moved out by this point so it was just the two of us in the house

over time, the cracks start to show; they're so positive and cute and bubbly when they have the energy, and they talk a bunch about effective communication and boundaries and all that, but when they talk about their other friends, it's like a constant stream of criticism about their life choices

oh, one friend has openly wept about being fat and not fitting into the cute clothes they both want to wear? well, sure, body positivity and all that, but then my roommate gets annoyed that their friend is annoyed by the regular attempts to invite them out for hikes or to a gym my roommate goes to, and is further annoyed when this friend won't 'just' tell them they don't want to go and that the friend simultaneously still talks about her dissatisfaction with her body; my roommate is flat out making 'pick a struggle!'-type comments about this 'friend'

another friend struggles with money; they were low-income, and now they make relatively decent money, and my roommate is FULL of judgement about how they spend their money and how they socialize at work and try to turn all their coworkers into their friends even tho that just isn't appropriate

any time they go to someone's house that is messy, there are several comments made about why they don't 'just' clean up as they cook or do stuff around the house, and if they see a roach that person is absolutely getting judged hard core bc my roommate 'has ptsd (jokingly)' about all the trashy places they've lived (we live in the southern US, btw, we have lots of thriving insects and small mammals all over the place)

they complain about how someone keeps talking about wanting a better, higher-paying job, but won't put in the time to get required certifications to get that better job

they constantly talk about the importance of 'open' conversation, harping on how they're happy to have a frank conversation about anything without blowing up over it

and yet

they do

ALL OF THESE SAME THINGS

they talk about wanting to lose w while binging on snacks with friends and eventually a new partner, complaining about wanting to go to the gym but also how sad they are no one will go with them and that's why they go less; their savings starts running out at the pandemy impacts their art sales so they go get a job after talking about it endlessly (another complaint about a different 'friend') and tries to make friends with all their coworkers and starts a room overhaul even though they admit they have no budget for it; they don't wash up after using a TON of bowls and pans to cook a single meal and even leave out tidbits 'for the cats' on the FLOOR that they never go back and pick up; they don't actually do any training on their own time to get promoted or improve their art business; and trying to give them advice and feedback or talk about something that makes you uncomfortable with them results in a near-immediate grumpy cold shoulder, let alone that they dominate nearly every conversation with their own personal interests and check their phone when you talk about yours

(I have to go to work rippp I don't want tumblr to delete this in drafts so I'm posting it now and will continue later)

#cc og #petty and/or negative

[realhankmccoy]

Q: Hank what jobs have you all done? A: Well, this is where it gets even weirder than not being able to really tell ya the year of the cars I've owned -- Nissan Maxima, Ford Econline Van (it's hard to imagine this is even true now... where the fuck did I keep it? In my dad's driveway? I paid for half of it with the drummer. You'd think I'd remember where I kept it since I had it for years... did we keep it out at Dale's farm, at least some of the time? I think that was where, yes), Chevy Oldsmobile, some sort of BMW (no clue what kind, my stupid dad conned me into taking his used lemon off his hands because it was a status symbol to him and it only lasted months on me before the engine died), Toyota Corolla.

The answer is I don't really know what jobs I was doing because I was so depressed and didn't want to be doing them and was just going wherever the temp-to-hire agency sent me. Sure, I remember some.

How stupid do I have to be to have worked jobs for six months and to have no clue what I was even doing other than moving some shit around on a computer screen? Probably pretty fucking stupid, right? And I don't remember the names of my supervisors. And I don't remember the names of a single college professor. I just didn't see it as relevant since everything was so disposable-seeming, including myself, the whole premise of America just like the factory setting of it all, the factory setting of the names they give people -- every male has the same name -- I just -- I dunno, kids, it's not very interesting, is it? A giant work prison -- no wonder I don't know what was even going on.

Let's do my best here to remember, sequentially:

Raking Leaves Mowing Lawns Loading Hay Bales Babysitting Grocery Store Janitor / Shelf-Stocker / Bag-Carrier for Customers Casual Mail Clerk for the USPS Record Store Clerk Data Entry Specialist for Cuna Mutual Rock Musician I Have No Idea for Cuna Mutual Mortgage, but a lot of it involved like, folding boxes at my desk or some shit, and some computer shit? This is the one that I have the least clue on what I did all day. I truly don't know. I can't even picture one shot of the computer screen. I was there six months and I don't know, probably I was terribly depressed and I thought my work was beneath me to the point where I could do it pretty much perfectly without even knowing what it was, thus freeing my mind up to try to daydream or listen to music? I certainly remember sitting outside a Panda Express listening to songs like Turpentine and Mad World in my car. Casual Mail Handler for the USPS Data Entry for a student loan consolidation company Data Entry for The United Way Home Care Support Worker for people living with disabilities Used Movie Store Clerk New Business Specialty Processor of Preneed Funeral Insurance Landlord Canvasser for Advancing Wisconsin Landscaper Data Entry for Source Interlink Office Support Specialist -- aka Factotum aka Bitch Boy aka Gofer, which involved being the backup receptionist, doing high speed data entry, logging dividends for accounting, being the HR Manager's personal assistant, being the personal assistant to the company's main lawyer, being the personal assistant to the company's junior lawyer, coffee service, being the office muscle including managing the storeroom on the 37th floor, IT support, filing documents for accounting, daily meal service fetcher, catering for large events, being the junior liason to navigate the bureaucratic link to the big 4 back, reorganising all the company's files, booking flights for new candidates and established employees, just fucking endless stuff at the same time Day-Trader Housesitter

that's how i made the money that made me into the 'worth somewhat but not substantially less than the typical white / typical white my age' man I am today.

pretty fucking lame life, hasn't it been, kids?

and not one of these jobs was ever a good time except for babysitting.

i've very much sort of hidden in the shadows, you see, when it comes to asserting yourself professionally. despite what Camille Paglia might say, it's not ALL MY FAULT because unlike her, we weren't all being dressed up by the parents to be Napoleon when we were a toddler. Yes, she probably literally has a Napoleon complex.

So, disregarding the stupid opinion of those people -- the point is that I think my job history really fucking sucks.

I'm constantly jealous of people who have been a waiter or a bartender or a teacher, journalist, adjunct professor, model, writer, critic.

There's no saying I couldn't still be those things. I just think if my 17-yr-old self would have seen what my job history would be like 25 years later, they would have thought it to be the most unmitigated unfolding tragedy.

Well, there was mitigation, as in time off that I took between jobs.

There's nothing saying I still couldn't work as a bartender, as a teacher, as a writer.

I don't know what I'm going to do... my life's a perpetually unfolding tragedy. There's worse tragedies. Most people on Scruff look busted to shit by life. This is not a healthy-looking nation.

I just wish there's somebody who could take charge and fix it for me, but there really isn't. Unless somebody steps in, the next step might be more data entry, followed by trying to get into coding or actuarial work.

I also do feel my work history looks very Wisconsin to me, and I don't like that, like i'm just a passive product of whatever my surroundings were. Even when I ran off to find employment in other states, it was in data entry or a record store or landscaping... nothing exactly outside the box. My dad was a landscaper and enjoyed buying records. My mother was the one who said I should start in data entry. My dad was the one who said I should work for the post office.

It's really all pretty fucking stupid and absurd, isn't it?

And I'm not going to 'take responsibility' for how my parents didn't like the idea of me becoming a lawyer or an English professor and would try to manipulate or even shove me away from such things. My dad was very angry that I decided to go to college and is still angry about it.

I just hate it... it looks like a train wreck, which it is. Professionally, I am a multicar pile up, a train wreck. But nah, I do not take responsibility for it. I should have had a choice in what I did, I should have been allowed to be ambitious and it should have been supported.

What a fucking shitshow of a noncareer, truly. When people expect me to take responsibility for it, or act like I"m somehow stupid because their mommy signed them up to be a college professor and were there with cake and congratulations as they matriculated, or their daddy built em a business and my parents didn't, that really infuriates me.

The whole system is a joke and is bullshit, but that still doesn't mean I don't wish I at least had credits in journalism, food service, and education in my life history. I feel like I'd be a better person if I had experience working in those fields instead of being miserably stuck behind computer screens at so many dumb jobs.

Whole fuckin' life has been data entry, really.

God, I hate looking at my work history so fucking much. So many opportunities for social skills and better understandings of life and friends and responsibilities -- all lost behind a computer screen. No wonder I just type and type at anything with an ear that will listen.

#career #career opportunities the ones that never knock #mommie queerest #job #jobs #work history #work #dream jobs #dream job

[violetsystems]

The entirety of my Facebook data deletes tomorrow. They make you wait a month and I'm sure some shadow government agency can still look at your travel photos and how many times you shopped at H&M. At least I'm part Swedish. People out here love throwing capitalism from where you are supposedly from four generations back in your face and claiming that's your culture. No honey that's your shopping bag. Don't you like furniture? Don't you want a ride in my Volvo? I'm Croatian and German too and honestly I can't stand October fest or Titoism. My culture is making the CEO of Costco step down because his store is harboring a secret labor revolution. Who cares about the price of the hot dog? I'm not even forklift certified but I do like to fork myself. What's more American than terrorism? Masturbation? Blaming terrorism on the "other team" instead of actual diplomacy is kind of masturbatory logic for a sports fan. I'm not even going there in that argument because I'm supposed to stick with my culture. I'm protestant and they hit an Episcopalian hospital so there's layers there for sure. Especially on a block with bishops. But I should stick with arguments I know right? Swedish meatballs and easily assembled furniture. How Feng Shui of me? But I will say some people out here need to find themselves and leave God alone. I was in a car crash too. Can I blame Denny's? Or Michael Flatley's river dance because I was a greeter at the WTTW store of knowledge in Orland Square mall and had to watch that shit on loop playing with devil sticks. That won't fit on my resume. If you are on a need to know basis about my life out there in LA? Ask Facebook. You have one more day. Whatever two bit drunk ass punk rock sleeper cell I'm connected to on there by accident is less American than I want to be. I was actually a nerd in high school. I don't need to be reminded of how lame people turned in their forties. Communicating with inspirational memes on instagram because Tumblr won't market your dj career. You want to be linked to a hate crime because of a shopping bag that's about as America as it gets. I don't need Facebook to help you. This hellsite is bad enough. You are programmed to fight each other for something you don't even understand or have any control over because you hate yourself. I'm sorry I love me. Were you hurt as a child? Did Linkedin ask you about childhood trauma in the job search that goes absolutely nowhere? Are you going to cry about in a forum somewhere? Mind your own business and keep your commentary about my skin tone to yourself. You are lucky I spell it out for you. Go back to college and learn some reading comprehension. If all you understand is crackhead numerology then maybe take a look at your country's deficit instead of communicating dumb shit to me. We're all broke. At least I am not morally bankrupt. Talk is cheap. Blaming the victim is classless. MF’s out here spend more on hair bleach than student loans.

[uh-velkommen]

Guys I gotta admit this isn't living up to what I expected it to be. I've been becoming more and more depressed because I thought going to grad school would be this big life changing event where I was really gonna find myself, engrain myself thoroughly into a new culture, learn so much about the topic I enjoy, and maybe even meet some super cool people along the way. And while I'm not particularly struggling in those departments, I just feel like this was a waste of time. I wanna just move back to the US, refund my student loans, and pick up where I left off in August. I keep thinking about how I had my apartment furnished exactly how I dreamed it would look and how I was able to stock my kitchen pantry with fresh ingredients to bake desserts every night from scratch and I just enjoyed living in my own peace. When I was in school I didn't want to leave because school felt like where I belonged. When I was an "adult" I didn't want to leave because I felt at peace. Now I'm back at school and I don't want either thing. I don't want to restart my meshing into adulthood but I don't want to financially struggle and only talk to people for 3 hours a day each week.

I decided to meet with my academic advisor to plan out my two years because I felt like that would give me motivation to keep going. I want to study multilingualism and neurolinguistics. All of which was advertised when it came time to search for graduate programs. But then I meet with my Advisor and she tells me they're not offering classes like that in the near future. I ask about taking classes in Copenhagen or Stockholm at the same time, she tells me I'd have to pay double tuition as a non-EU student. I tell her, okay how about language evolution, that was something I really emphasized having an interest in when I did my application. She offers me, "Variations of English" and "Sounds of the world's languages." These are classes I already took in my undergrad. And this is a recurring problem. Linguistic departments are always so small and understaffed that they end up offering the same things over and over again. I'm currently taking classes on things I already know! To make things worse, they keep telling me that I need to take B.A. level courses here since I didn't major in Linguistics in my undergrad. I explained to them over and over that I took classes in those general subjects, phonetics, syntax, semantics, etc. and my advisor replied with, "We want to make sure you take classes that cover linguistic theory" Okay so like, Chomsky and Sapir, I can do that, what are the classes called? "Syntax and Semantics." OH MY FUCKING GOD. I can't bare another semantics course, I've taken like 3 already. Finally I just show her my transcripts so she can see what classes I took and she goes, "huh, I don't see a lot of linguistics here?" And I can just HEAR her thoughts floating around saying, Why did we even admit you??

I mean, shit I've been thinking the same thing. I'm not struggling though, I was a straight A student in all my Anthro/Ling classes. And I told them over and over that I was a Linguistic Anthropologist and that's why most of my classes are listed under Anthropology and that I'm here to really narrow down my studies. I WANT to do the hard stuff. I want this interest to be reignited and I'm just not getting it here. This is a waste of time and money because this school isn't providing what I need.

But I'm not a quitter, I can't just stop something a month into it, I just don't know how. So I remind myself that this is a means to an end. We do this for two years, we get a job, we live in Sweden, we're happy. But linguistics isn't exactly a lucrative field, in fact, I know exactly what the job market looks like in Scandinavia and nobody is looking to hire an M.A. Linguistics kid. Finding work here is not garaunteed. So then what, I do all this, go into debt, go broke, ruin my credit score, end up with no job and no home to return to, scrambling to find an apartment in a city I've never been to with a job I have no true passion for and the remorse of an opportunity wasted weighing on my conscious? But hey, at least I got to live in Sweden!/s

#grad school #lund university #Scandi Saga #me

[princess-pill-enjoyer]

Passed out off a morning dose and woke up to the sweet sight of an email from my old uni 🙃

I thought I settled that for a while as I said I didn't have the money for that and the lady said it was fine. Buuuut apparently that had a time limit as well so they now want me to pull $400 out my ass or they're more than likely gonna send that shit off to collections

Part of me doeent even care. It ain't like I'm going to jail over 2k and I have literally nothing of value. No car. No house. Annnd no money. Sooo yeh have fun tryna get yall shit lmao. But I know that's a pretty stupid way've looking at it. Ruining my credit this early on probably ain't s great idea.

Ah. This sucks. My dad really doesn't want to drive me around cause of how much gas is now, the work from home shit he and my stepmom are doing is having me wait a month for some dumb junk with my mic, had to turn down two different jobs due to my dad deciding they're not for me.. bruh. Atp. I'd just walk to work. It'd probably at least be an hour long but. Fuck it at this point. Only thing is I live in one of the most infamous places for human trafficking so I'd definitely have to stay alert and try to go on different routes here and there to not make my routine as obvious

I probably woulda been able to float by for another month or so if my dad and stepmom would've paid me back. They owe me like $500 and half that comes from some shit they borrowed a year ago now. Plus, i accidentally eavesdropped on them grabbing my dad's phone instead of mine. They apparently been borrowing a lot from soneone else as well soo yeah even if they did have the money i dont think they have that to spare rn

The other option woulda been to take out extra on my student loan but my mom already took the excess out so I'd have to apply for a whole new loan. If I were still in school that'd be no problem but my incident in April makes me hesitant to make big commitments like that. I was so close to ending my shit just off owing 7k but a whole new semesters worth of debt just for me to possibly fail again sounds like a tragedy waiting to happen lol

Sigh. Days like this are so hard. I used to stick around because of an age goal I set for myself which sometimes felt like my only motivation. But it's just like nowadays I'm long past every age goal I've set and the plan was stay around until it started being inconvenient/not fun to be. Annd as of now it is looking mighty inconvenient. It makes me question why I'm even trying anymore. I never wanted to be here for this exact reason you know?

I feel like I'm just here atp. What am I working towards anymore? What do I even like to do? Do I honestly even like my hobbies or do I just like the distraction from my head? Even if everything fixed itself in the future and I started living a normal stable life, would it justify ignoring my damn near lifelong wish to not be here?

I'm gonna try to get R's attention and make sure she's not too fucked up then take a gram and head to bed. I am not mentally alright enough to have those questions circulating rn

HA apparently if I don't poof $400 up by Monday they're charging me damn near $600 extra

I am. Done. I just wanna sleep and not wakeup atp. I'm so done. I never wanted to be here in the first place and now I gotta drag myself out of an addiction, get over an unrequited love, find a job that fits my dad's parameters, pay off a mysterious 2k AND my 15k of loans. What the fuck. I never signed up for this and I would've ended my shit before my stupid fucking age goal had I known things would go to shit this quickly. I'm tired of feeling horrible for not wanting to do anything. I'm so tired of fighting myself to do the barest minimums and having it not be enough time and time again. I'm so fucking tired of all this up and down. God like. One day I'm in one of the best schools for engineering with hella open house money and the next I'm a fucking basement dwelling dropout with no money and no real desire to go out and do the shit that'll MAKE ME MONEY. And to top it off I'm fucking addicted to otc allergy medicine that is literally bottom of the barrel to the point that even WITH it being so accessible everyone knows how shit it is and leaves it alone. But not me ofc. My dumbass just had to screw up shit further. What is my problem at this point. This is my fault. I can't keep staying in this stupid limbo of barely doing anything but not having the guts to make that a reality. Atp I'm either gonna have to pick on or yhe other. My money's on the second but we'll see :)

#vent #update

[iamwestiec]

June 17: Chengxian 💜🖤💕

childhood friends to lovers/QPPs, ace Jiang Cheng, bi & aro Wei Wuxian, modern AU

(A/N: If you're wondering about a certain other someone, he will have a wonderful, full life of his own in Suzhou in this AU but is not in this story. 💙 There are some brief mentions of offscreen ace-antagonism, not by anyone we know.)

Read on ao3

Jiang Cheng had been Wei Ying's best friend in the whole world for his entire life.

Okay. Well, not quite his entire life, but certainly since Wei Ying’s parents moved to California when he was little little, which was about as far back as Wei Ying could remember anyway. Wei Ying’s baba and Jiang Cheng’s baba had grown up in Wuhan together and been best friends when they were kids, so naturally, when Wei Ying’s family moved into the same neighborhood as the Jiangs, it made perfect sense for Wei Ying and Jiang Cheng to become best friends too.

It was Jiang Cheng who had taught Wei Ying that he didn't have to be afraid of dogs, by introducing him to Princess, Jasmine, and Lil' Love. Lil' Love lived up to her name, coming and quietly sitting in all her fluffy glory on Wei Ying’s lap every time he went over to play.

It was also Jiang Cheng who Wei Ying got drunk with for the first time. They snuck booze from the cabinet where Wei Ying’s parents kept it and laughed at the faces each other made with every shot until they stopped tasting the harsh burn, and then laughing more just because.

(Wei Ying’s mom had not laughed, not at the time, when the two teens had been sick as anything the next morning, but instead made them a gloriously greasy late breakfast and gave them lots of advice about proper hydration.

Then she told Jiang Cheng’s mom and let her scold them.)

It was Jiang Cheng who came out first, their first semester in college, when he told Wei Ying he didn't think he wanted to have sex with anyone, ever, and asked if Wei Ying thought that meant no one would ever want to date him. Wei Ying hugged him tight and told him he didn't know about everyone out there, but he knew Jiang Cheng was the best guy in the world and would be an awesome boyfriend, and he'd fight anyone who said differently.

Jiang Cheng found a group on campus for third culture LBGT kids, and Wei Ying went with him, as a supportive ally.

Which was how Wei Ying figured out that he was not just a supportive ally.

In listening to the others talk about orientation and identity and attraction and cultural expectations, Wei Ying realized that what he'd always assumed was normal—finding all kinds of people physically attractive, regardless of their gender—was actually his bisexuality. So that was kind of cool.

"So yeah, now we can be queer together!" Wei Ying said, when he excitedly shared his newfound realization with Jiang Cheng.

Jiang Cheng snorted. "Yeah, 'all' and 'nothing,'" he joked.

It was Jiang Cheng who'd helped him practice what to say to his parents when he wanted to change his major at the end of sophomore year, and Jiang Cheng who reminded him to eat and sleep and "take a fucking break, Wei Ying," those next couple semesters when he took way too many hours so he wouldn't have to rack up a whole extra year's worth of student loans to finish his new degree plan.

It was Jiang Cheng who graduated first, on a gorgeous blue-skyed sunny day in May, and Jiang Cheng who suggested Wei Ying keep living with him at his new apartment, so he wouldn't have to try to find a one-semester lease until he finished in December.

(They renewed the lease together every time.)

Jiang Cheng ribbed him playfully each time Wei Ying met someone new, but he was always there each times things fizzled out after a few months for reasons that never quite made sense to Wei Ying.

Jiang Cheng occasionally dated too, and Wei Ying was glad he never did have to fight anybody—though he did drive Jiang Cheng to the emergency room the time he came home with split knuckles from punching a guy who, "seemed to think I didn't know my own mind about certain things."

But dating sucked for everybody, right? It wasn't like Wei Ying or Jiang Cheng were in any hurry to settle down and do the whole spouse and kids thing or whatever. Wei Ying tried to imagine it and just... couldn't, though the image of Jiang Cheng with a baby was admittedly pretty cute.

~

It was not Jiang Cheng, but Jiang Yanli, a few months after she proposed to her girlfriend and they started planning their wedding, who Wei Ying finally asked, "Yanli-jie, how does a person decide someone else is their person?"

Jiang Yanli looked across the room to where Jiang Cheng was showing her soon-to-be-wife how to put side spin on a billiards ball and smiled. "I think you just know," she said. "You meet someone and you get to know them, spend time together, then one day you realize you love them and want to build the rest of your life with them."

Wei Ying wrinkled his nose. "I dunno if it works that way for me. Just some random person? I've never met anyone I can imagine wanting to live with all the time. Well, besides—huh..." he cut off suddenly and darted a look over at Jiang Yanli, who just calmly sipped her drink.

"Have you ever told him that?" she asked, after a moment where Wei Ying reassessed his entire life and dating history. "I think he might appreciate hearing it."

"I... huh. Yanli-jie, you're kinda blowing my mind here," he complained.

"I gathered," she said wryly, before fixing him with a smile that made all the hair on the back of his neck stand up. "Of course, I trust," she told him, "that I do not need to explain to you of all people how very dearly I hold my didi's happiness and well-being."

He swallowed and raised three fingers in the salute he'd used ever since the summer that—hah—he and Jiang Cheng had decided as kids that they would make their own oath of brotherhood like the heroes of their favorite show. "I, Wei Ying, swear to you that I would kick my own ass before I did anything to hurt him."

Jiang Yanli leaned over to knock her shoulder against his and nodded. "That's what I thought."

~

Turned out, dating Jiang Cheng didn't suck at all.

It felt easy in a way Wei Ying’s past dates never had, less like trying to keep up with a game whose rules everybody knew except him, more like... well, like spending time with his best friend in the whole world, but on purpose. There was also a tension in the back of Wei Ying’s mind that seemed to have lifted, though he couldn't quite pinpoint what it was that had gone.

It was Jiang Cheng who helped him figure it out.

"I think it's that now I'm able to count on this. On us," he said, when Wei Ying brought it up. "Before, whenever you went out with someone new, I wondered if this would be the time you'd find someone to fall in love with and leave me behind."

"Aww, Chengcheng! I would never!"

Jiang Cheng huffed and rolled his eyes, but his cheeks were pink. "Well, I know that now," he said, a pleased little smile breaking through his attempts at a scowl.

"As long as you're sure—" Wei Ying began, still getting used to thinking about himself with the word "aromantic." Still a so very sure that Jiang Cheng deserved to be fallen in love with.

"Hey!" Jiang Cheng cut him off. "None of that. I know you. And I know you don't see it this way, but I personally think it's pretty damn romantic that you choose to love me, on purpose."

"I simply have exquisite taste in life partners," Wei Ying sniffed, embarassed the way he always got when Jiang Cheng declared something he'd done "romantic."

"You do," Jiang Cheng agreed. "Someone told me a long time ago I was the best guy in the world and would make an awesome boyfriend, and that he would fight anyone who said differently."

Wei Ying laughed. "That's you and your sister I've promised to kick my own ass if I ever break your heart, then. Guess I'll just have to keep you forever."

"Damn right, you will," Jiang Cheng agreed, grinning smug and happy and breathtakingly beautiful. Wei Ying leaned across the couch to give him a sweet, closed-mouth kiss—the kind Jiang Cheng had shyly admitted he actually did like, a lot—and smiled too, at how lucky he'd gotten to be with his best friend in the whole world for his entire life.

🖤💜

Today's (extremely long!) thread was inspired by this WONDERFUL art of ace Jiang Cheng and bi & aro Wei Ying! Go give Midori some love on Twitter!

I spent a nonzero amount of time googling to double check when various terms and flags came into vogue, so if you're wondering, WWX & JC were in college in the early 2000s, before the ace and aro flags were designed. By the time they get themselves figured out, they can get their cute wristbands.

...which, yes, means these dingdongs spent about a solid decade living together before realizing that was what they wanted to do forever. 😉

This also means Jiang Yanli and her unnamed wife here are getting married between when California started recognizing same-sex marriages in 2008 and the Obergefell v. Hodges ruling in 2015! THIS SHIT'S RECENT!!!

Happy Pride, thank you for reading, check out more LGBTQIA+ sweetness on my #PrideMonthSnippets Masterpost!

#PrideMonthSnippets #chengxian #westie writes #mdzs #the untamed #asexual pride #aromantic pride #asexual jiang cheng #bisexual wei wuxian #aromantic wei wuxian #queerplatonic relationship #queer relationships #love has a lot of shapes

[holidaywishes]

I don't get you...

  Requested: 👍

  Summary/Request: Can I request just some like filthy smut with Fred? Maybe sugar daddy Freddie? But like there’s actual feelings involved and maybe the reader flirts with Auston and it makes him jealous then he tells them he loves them then fucks the living daylights out of them...or something along those lines

  Warning: smut as per request, some angst, a little bit of fluff

  Author’s Note: So, anon, I'm not sure this is exactly what you wanted. I went through a lot as I was writing this, so that's part of the reason why it took forever to get this out. But yeah, it started out as something short and filthy and then moved to something exceptionally long and fluffy and I nearly forgot that I was supposed to be writing smut. Also, I'm really in a ✨summer vibes✨ kind of mood lately and I really want to go to the beach but because I can’t until the borders open, I guess I’ll write about it. Hope this can give everyone a bit of a reprieve from everything for a little bit! Stay Golden, loves! <3

  masterlist

  the other masterlist

xx

Freddie’s P.O.V

  You never expected her to agree to the arrangement, you didn’t think she was the type, but you weren’t looking for a relationship at the time. She told you she’d never had a sugar daddy before but she was happy to try it out

  “I’ve met people who’ve done it and they seem to be really happy,” she said

  “Well, yeah, I would think they would be,” you joked, “a little bit of money for a little bit of pleasure...”

  “That makes it sound like prostitution” she giggled and you nodded

  “It’s not, I didn’t mean it like that...”

  “I mean, it’s not far off, I suppose”

  “But you’re okay with it?”

  “I’m okay with it, but I’m curious,” she asked, “if you’re willing to spend money on me and fly me places and do literally everything a partner does... why not actually be partners?”

  “I just think we’re better off doing this”

  “I know,” she added, “but why?”

  “My life... is a lot for a relationship. I don’t want to put anyone in a position where the fans or the media can tear them down”

  “But you like me enough to do all the same stuff?”

  “Yeah, just... as a secret” you admitted shyly

  “Alright” she finally said, leaning in to plant a kiss on your cheek before your hands latched onto her sides to pull her closer and station her on your lap. “I have to go...” she whined and you groaned in response

“But you don’t” you laughed

“I have to do a presentation tomorrow that I have to work on”

“Skip it,” you mumbled, “you know that you don’t have to work”

“I still like to work”

“Just stay a little bit longer” you urged, kissing her neck and squeezing her hips tighter

“Freddie...” she moaned before you picked her up and carried her to your bedroom, dropping her onto the big mattress. She giggled as she bit her lip, waiting for you to lay your body against hers, “come here.”

xx

  The arrangement was simple. He wanted a warm body just not a relationship. You were in debt up to your eyeballs but you still had very, very expensive tastes and Freddie was all too eager to get you whatever you wanted. There was never any real talk about never developing feelings or what would happen if either of you eventually did but his lips fit so perfectly with yours and your bodies knew instinctively what to do for each other and the way his fingertips grazed the sensitive skin on the sides of your neck made your vision blurry and you weren’t sure how long you could keep this... simple. You were able to work enough that you were chipping away at your debt while Freddie indulged in your materialistic cravings. His gifts were relatively tame so far. Some jewellery, a few designer handbags, some very expensive lingerie, a pair of vintage Chanel stilettos that you almost never wore and when you asked why he didn’t get you Louboutin’s, he smirked and said ‘that’s what every other guy gets his girl. You deserve better than that.’ He really did know just how to say the right thing to make you feel important to him without fully taking that next step but when he started to offer bigger gifts, things started to feel different

  “You can’t buy me a car!”

  “Why not?”

  “I barely drive!”

  “Okay, what about a house?”

  “I’m sorry what?”

  “A house. I mean, not like a mansion but an apartment or like a cottage. By the lake...”

  “That’s too much” you scoffed, fluttering around your kitchen putting away dishes and wiping off the counter before your roommate could complain that the house was a mess

 “You shouldn’t have roommates. Not if you’re with me” he replied and you furrowed your brow before leaning on the cold granite of the counter

  “But I’m not with you...” you corrected, “not like that. How am I supposed to explain to people how I suddenly have enough money to have a cottage by the lake when I’m still paying off student loans and credit card debts?”

  “Tell them it was a super great deal!”

  “Because they’ll definitely believe that” you sighed, walking over to him and pecking his cheek before he followed you to the couch

  “Then say it was a gift”

  “From who? Who would gift something like that to someone? Am I supposed to tell people that you’re my sugar daddy now?” you teased

  “You could say you won the lottery,” he suggested but you ignored it, instead turning toward the TV and switching it on, “I mean that happens right?”

  “Freddie... it’s sweet but it’s way too much” you repeated softly and he dropped it

  “Come hang out with me this summer. I have a place right on the water, it’s beautiful there”

  “Where?” you asked curiously

  “Muskoka”

  “You wanna take me to Muskoka?”

  “It’s romantic there,” he added, creeping over to kiss your shoulder before his body hovered over yours and his lips slowly connected with yours, “and it’s private, too. We don’t have to worry about people interrupting us”

  “People don’t interrupt us he--”

  “(Y/N)!” your roommate yelled, interrupting your moment with Freddie and completely destroying your words even before she came down the stairs, Freddie putting as much space in between the two of you as to not give anything away. “Hey, where is.. oh sorry, I didn’t realize we had company”

  “Stacey, this is Freddie,” you smiled awkwardly, hoping your face wasn’t too flushed, “Freddie, this is my roommate, Stacey.”

  “Nice to meet you” Freddie greeted politely

  “Yeah, you too” Stacey replied, almost suspiciously and you scoffed

  “So what were you looking for?”

  “Huh?” she was clearly lost in thought now, “oh right! That big bag of sunscreen, where did it go? I thought it was in the closet in the bathroom but I didn’t see it. Did you move it?”

  “I did,” you admitted, smiling as you stood up, walking to the bathroom upstairs to show her, “it was just taking up so much space so I took them out of the bag and put them under the sink separately”

  “Ahh, okay. Thanks”

  “No problem,” you said, turning to walk downstairs

  “Wait!” she exclaimed, stopping you, “who is that?”

  “Freddie?”

  “Yeah, I mean... are you two dating? Why have I never met him before?” she rambled before her eyes went wide and panic rushed through your chest, “is this a first date?” you exhaled in relief, laughing in response

  “No, it’s not a date. First or otherwise. He’s just a friend, I met him at a work party last year”

  “Oh, right...” you could tell she didn’t believe you but you weren’t going to try to argue, fearing if you did that you might let the truth slip. She finally let you head back downstairs but before you reached the bottom, your phone chimed

  “Had to go” Freddie’s text read and you sighed before dropping your head

  “You didn’t have to...” you replied

  “I did but the offer still stands. You, me, the lake, Muskoka. Come”

  “I’ll think about it.”

xx

Freddie’s P.O.V

  After weeks of constant begging, (Y/N) agreed to go to the cottage with you over the summer and it was perfect. You almost never left the bedroom and when you did, it was to take a drive into the city to get a few groceries and then you’d lock yourself back in the house, drawing the curtains to block out the light. After that, she asked to go back the next summer and you were more than happy to oblige

  “You liked it huh?” you teased as the two of you lay in bed

  “I had a lot of fun,” she smirked, lifting your hand up so she could trace her finger along your palm mindlessly, “pretending like the world didn’t exist”

  “You sure you don’t want me to just.. get you your own?”

  “No,” she scoffed, “I like yours. As yours, don’t think about giving it to me”

  “Fine” you laughed at her figuring you out before you could even get your suggestion out.

  “Fine” she mocked, rolling over to kiss your cheek and lay on your chest, tracing her fingers across your skin

  “God you’re beautiful” you exhaled as you brushed her hair away from her face

  “YO ‘ZILLA!” you heard Auston yell as he crashed through your front door

  “Shit!” you panicked

  “What is he doing here?” she asked in a hushed voice

  “I don’t know, I thought he was gonna be playing golf all afternoon”

  “FREDDIE?” Auston yelled again

  “Just get dressed, I’ll go talk to him”

  “Okay” she laughed

  “Yo, Tony, what are you doing here?”

  “Hey!” He exclaimed, “I came to hang out with you... am I bothering you?”

  “No of course not. I just thought you’d be at the course for most of the day...”

  “Yeah.. it wasn’t all that exciting today. What have you—”

  “So I think that Shelley was right!” (Y/N) yelled as she came down the stairs, interrupting Auston with some lie that you couldn’t even follow. “I think we did do an event down the street,” you smirked, watching her eye-line go past you and to Auston, “oh, hi...”

  “Hi...” he hesitated

  “I’m (Y/N)”

  “Auston. It’s nice to meet you” he greeted and you watched as the two of them stared at each other

  “Matts, (Y/N) is a friend of a friend and she wanted to see a vantage point... from upstairs”

  “Not a vantage point. See, I work at an event planning company, I’m an intern but I help with a lot of events and one of them was an MLSE fundraiser and, Shelley, my friend that’s also Freddie’s friend,” she rambled and you had to stop yourself from laughing, “she said that Fred’s apartment was nearby but I didn’t believe it...”

  “Right,” he smirked, “well, now you know right?”

  “Right,” she smiled brightly, “but hey. I should go, I have stuff but thanks, Fred, for letting me look. It was nice to meet you, Auston.”

  “Yeah.. nice to meet you, too. Maybe I’ll see you again?”

  “Now now,” you intervened, “no flirting”

  “Bye Freddie” she chuckled before walking out the door.

  “She’s cute,” Auston said to you and you could sense that he was trying to get more information, “young for you though huh?”

  “We’re not dating” you tried

  “So she really was just here to scope out the view?” he teased

  “I guess so” you tried, making your way to the kitchen to grab a glass of water

  “You wouldn’t mind, then, if I asked her out?” he asked, forcing you to sigh at his incessant attempts not to drop the subject

  “No, go for it...”

  “I will” he smirked and that was the end of the conversation. You found out a few days later that he had actually asked (Y/N) out for dinner but she told him she had to think about it

  “What am I supposed to say, Freddie?” she asked, following you around your apartment, her annoyance apparent as she waited for an answer

  “You should say yes” you replied

  “Is that what you want?”

  “I mean you said it yourself, we’re not together. We’re not dating, we just sleep together every once in a while and I buy you stuff. I don’t care who you date...”

  “It’s not tha..” she stammered, shaking her head hastily, “it’s a little more complicated than just me dating someone else. This isn’t just some guy you’ve never met before who wants to take me out on a date. This is your teammate, your friend. He has a key to your apartment. You watch his dog... so it’s not as simple as what you think it is”

  “I’m fine with it. We’ll still do what we do, if you want, and Auston doesn’t have to find out” you added, sitting down at the kitchen island, fidgeting with your water bottle

  “And what if he does?”

  “He won’t”

  “You really want me to say yes?”

  “If you say no, he’s going to think something is going on with us,” you admitted, “if you say yes, he won’t. Simple”

  “That’s all this is?” she sneered, “I’m surprised you haven’t told him already. It’s not something that you’re ashamed of. Unless... are you ashamed of me?”

  “No” you replied. She sat down slowly in the seat across from you and dropped her head to her hands before exhaling

  “Fine,” you groaned, “I’ll say yes.”

xx

  It was the last thing you really wanted to do but Freddie seemed intent on you going on a date with Auston. It wasn’t awful but it didn’t feel right but the two of you stayed in touch, which created its own issues between you and Freddie, just like you knew it would. After nearly a year, you had grown a lot closer with Freddie’s teammates than you thought you would and you were starting to feel like part of the group, whether or not that was a good thing remained to be seen. It did allow you to spend time with Freddie outside of the bedroom but it led to questions about why you never carried a wallet or offered to pay for meals

  “I’m all for chivalry,” Morgan chuckled, taking a sip of his drink as the server took everyone’s plates away, “but you can clearly afford to foot the bill every here and there. I’ve seen all these fancy things before, I’ve bought a few of ‘em for Tessa, so...”

  “This stuff...” you stalled, gesturing to your purse and your clothes, “they’re all gifts”

  “Some friends who get you those gifts” Auston laughed

  “Who said they’re from friends? What about family?”

  “Or a boyfriend?” he teased, your eyes darting to Freddie quickly to gauge his reaction; nothing, completely stoic

  “No boyfriend. I’m not much for the ‘shower me with gifts’ kind of relationship” this comment earned a round of scoffs from the boys in front of you and you just rolled your eyes in return. Freddie offered you a ride home which you took gladly because you wanted to see where his head was at

  “So...” you started before Freddie huffed

  “The guys are coming out to the lake next week. You’re welcome to come but it won’t be like last year”

  “Are you mad at me?” you asked, turning your body to face him

  “No, why would I be mad?” he chided, keeping his eyes on the road

  “I don’t know,” you replied, turning back to face the road yourself, “but I’m glad you’re not mad. I love the lake so I’m happy to go, even if it won’t be like last year...”

  “Great” he sighed

  “Perfect” you replied, pursing your lips as the rest of the drive was spent in silence. He drove into the underground parking lot, turning off the ignition before looking at you

  “They really like you” he said and you furrowed your brow

  “Yeah... I’m likeable” you joked

  “It’s good,” he said, “but maybe after the lake, you should keep your distance”

  “What?” you scoffed as Freddie opened the door and made his way to open your door, leaning his hands against the side of the car and caging you in lightly

  “Or we need to end this arrangement”

  “So, it’s an ultimatum? You or them?” he nodded, sliding his arm under your legs to pick you up and carry you upstairs. It was a strange request but you could barely concentrate on your thoughts with the way his hands began roaming your body once he set you down. After the week had passed, and you managed to patch up things with Freddie, you were on your way back to the place where you had come to know as if it were your own. You wondered how different things would feel there, with ‘the boys’ being there, and if Freddie would keep his distance from you or if the tension would be too much to bear.

xx

Auston’s P.O.V

  You spent most of your time in the water, or watching (Y/N), while everyone else seemed to find other things to occupy their time. You couldn’t believe that (Y/N) hadn’t pursued more of a relationship with you, especially when you thought the date went really well; you decided to make it your mission to get her to fall in love with you or find out if there was something else going on.

  "So..." you grunted, taking a seat next to (Y/N), "how are you liking the cottage?"

  "It's beautiful out here" she answered with a smile

  "Isn't it though?" you said

  "Are you mocking me?" she laughed

 "I would never"

  "You're still mad that I didn't want to date you, aren't you?" she asked, taking you a bit by surprise and you weren't really sure how honest you should be

  "Why didn't you want to date me?" you said curiously, "I mean the date that we went on was good, wasn't it?"

  "It was fine, yeah," she replied, unimpressed as she seemed to remember the date in her mind, "I just have a bit of a complicated situation going and I didn't feel like adding more to that. But, I'm sorry, that wasn't fair to you"

  "Oh," you really were hoping that she would've made some joke about it all instead of... actually telling you the truth, but here you were. "Thank you..." you hesitated before chuckling, "I'm over it anyway. Let's just enjoy the summer, okay?"

  "Yeah" she grinned. As the night drew on, Freddie got the barbeque ready while setting out snacks as Mo, Mitch and Cogs grabbed a seat around the fire.

  “HEY! YOU TWO, COME HANG OUT BY THE FIRE!” Fred yelled to you and (Y/N) as the two of you stayed on the dock

  "I wanna go in the water!" she yelled

  "YEAH ME TOO!" you chuckled in return, seeing Freddie's distaste from where you stood before (Y/N) slipped by you and ran into the lake

  "HOLY SHIT IT'S COLD!" she screamed, her body already shivering from just a few inches of water crashing against the bare skin of her legs

  "What did you expect?" you scoffed, wading the water as you neared her, lowering your body so the water covered your chest

  "I don't know.." she hesitated, trying her best to maintain the composure of her voice before her shivers took over, "I just didn't expect it to be that cold..."

  "Well now you know" you smirked, catching her stare just as your body reached her space, letting your frame hover over hers as the two of you stood in the cold water; the waves splashing against your hips and trying their best to drag both of you into the current.

  "Right" she whispered, unable to tear her eyes from yours

  "Right" you returned, squatting down in front of her, your lips grazing her chest while your gaze stayed trained on her. You could feel her breathing build in her chest as your fingers traced her skin before you picked her up and she squealed

  "STOP!" she laughed as you threw her over your shoulder

  "What? I'm not doing anything!" you joked. She started to squirm in your grasp before eventually straightening her body which, luckily for you, meant that your face met her chest; you felt her hands rest gently on her shoulders as you shamelessly stared at her breasts before looking back up at her

  "Don't do it" she breathed

  "Do what?" you replied quietly

  "I know what you're thinking" she said and you smirked

  "No, no I don't think you do"

  "Don't do it Auston..." she repeated

  "You need to get used to the temperature," you replied, a grin growing on your face, "and the best way to do that is just to do it..."

  "You throw me in and I'll take you down with me" she threatened but you weren't going to listen. You stopped only for a second when you heard Freddie call to the two of you and you turned around to see him on the shore. You grinned before turning back, throwing (Y/N) in the water before feeling the tug on the back of your neck; both of you crashing into the water. When you finally came to the surface, you splashed water at her which she reciprocated before looking over at Freddie, "we should probably head in."

xx

Freddie's P.O.V

  You watched as the two of them held onto each other in the water, not able to discern their emotions from the distance you were at, but you didn’t like it. You called them in one more time before Auston tossed (Y/N) into the water and they began splashing water at each other. She looked back at you before wiping the water from her eyes and saying something to Auston, the two of them making their way back to shore.

  “Hey,” Auston said breathlessly as he walked past you

  “Finally had enough of the water huh?” you teased to which Auston just smirked, looking back at (Y/N) then back at you

  “Hi” (Y/N) said when she got close to you but your irritation from what you’d witnessed caused you to all but ignore her as you turned to walk back to the fire. The six of you sat around the fire, drinking, laughing and telling stories while you felt (Y/N)’s eyes on you, begging you to look at her without having to say the words

  “Well,” she sighed when you kept your eyes away from hers, “I’m exhausted from all that fun in the water. I’ll see you all in the morning” she laughed, Morgan and Andrew standing up to showcase their chivalry

  “Have a good sleep” Andrew smiled as (Y/N) made her way back inside. You weren’t sure how long you should wait to talk to her but you knew it couldn’t be too much longer

  “I’m gonna get some sleep as well” you said, finishing your drink as you stood up

  “Oh yeah, sure...” Cogs teased and you rolled your eyes at the tone

  “Goodnight. Please don’t destroy the deck” you said, making your way inside and turning down the hall toward (Y/N)’s room, letting yourself in

  “Hey!” she exclaimed, irritated that you didn’t knock, “what are you doing?”

  “I came to talk to you”

  “Oh really? You’ve sure done a great job of ignoring me all night. What do you have to say now?”

  “You can’t act like that,” you said under your breath, referring to how she was with Auston

  “Act like what?!” she argued, raising her voice as she stepped toward you

  “Like that!” you repeated, gesturing to the lake, trying your best to keep your voice low. “Throwing yourself all over Auston like that. Half naked and soaking wet no less”

  “Oh my god,” she scoffed, “you’re jealous”

  “Jealous?” you huffed at the suggestion

  “Yes. I have no idea why you would be but it sounds an awful lot like jealousy how you’re talking to me right now” she urged, anger covering her face

  “What if I was jealous?”

  “Why would you be jealous?”

  “BECAUSE I’M IN LOVE WITH YOU!”

  “What?” she whispered, stumbling back

  “I love you,” you said calmly, vulnerably, as you studied her expression

  “You don’t love me, you’re not in love with me” she argued, shaking her head in disbelief

  “I do!”

  “YOU DON’T!” she yelled, “YOU— I— ugh” she groaned

  “What?”

  “I don’t get you,” she sighed, “one second you say you don’t want a relationship and you want to be my ‘sugar daddy’ then the next you say you’re in love with me? Which is it?”

  “Both”

  “Both?” you could feel the disgust in her words but it almost made you laugh

  “Yeah, both,” you countered, “I didn’t set out to fall in love and get into a relationship, especially when I met you,” you noticed her mouth drop, realizing you had to backtrack. “I wanted to protect you from my life but I liked being around you. And the sex was amazing”

  “So all you wanted was sex”

  “Maybe that’s where it started,” you admitted, “but somewhere along the way I fell in love with you and I realized I would still be paying for everything either way but this way I’d get you all to myself”

  “Oh so now it’s about possession?” she growled and you rolled your eyes

  “I’m not trying to possess you,” you groaned, “I just wanna be with you because I love you. I have no idea why because you’re impossible to deal with and you test me every god damn second like I’m still in school but I can’t help it” you bit your bottom lip as you thought about tearing off her clothes, taking a step closer to where she stood. “I see you and you make everything... different. My heart races and I blush and I sweat and I just want to be around you. All the time. It’s infuriating. But I love you and I think I have since the beginning” she stood silently in front of you before you boxed her in with your arms, letting her eyes linger up your chest until they found yours, placing your hands on her hips to bring her even closer to you

  “Show me,” she said softly, watching your lips. You let your fingers slide up her body until they reached her neck, cupping her face as you kissed her softly. Her body moving closer to yours, forcing your feet to move backward until you felt the bed behind you, stopping only for a minute to pick her up

  “I love you” you repeated and, as if something possessed her, she bit her lip and pushed you onto the mattress

  “I want you to fuck me”

  “You’re n—”

  “Fuck. Me” she interrupted, moving across your body to straddle your lap. You honestly thought she’d say it back and it was throwing you off that she wasn’t. “What’s wrong?” she groaned when she finally realized that you weren’t exactly following through

  “I can’t do this” you sighed, pushing her off of you to walk across the room, dropping your head in your hand

  “What?” she scoffed

  “I...”

  “Should I go ask Auston? I bet he’d be more than happy to fuck me” she teased, smirking when she saw the glare on your face. You promptly made your way back to her, harshly grabbing her hips and turning her around where she stood; moving your hands up her body to clear her hair from her neck to bite at the sensitive skin between her neck and her shoulder. You felt her hips push back into yours and you grinned at her sudden neediness

  "Is this what you want?" you whispered

  "I told you. I want you to fuck me" she breathed, placing her hand on yours to guide it onto her breast and she leaned against your chest, continuing to back her ass against your growing erection. You pushed your hands into the waistband of her shorts and underwear, tearing them off her body, kissing up her legs and removing her shirt before forcing her to lean against the bed, keeping her back straight. “Freddie...” she whimpered when you stepped back, making sure not to touch her just yet

  “Shh,” you hushed before pushing your shorts off to expose your hardened cock. You ran your finger down her spine until you felt her shiver underneath your touch, holding yourself in your free hand before you began running the tip along her folds; letting her moan fill the room before you pushed yourself into her entrance. "Shhh," you repeated as her sounds started to get louder, "you don't want everyone to hear, do you?" she let out another moan before she nodded her head, looking at you over her shoulder and smirking as she watched you fuck her. She rocked back into you, sending vibrations through your body and encouraging you to dig your nails into her hips, fucking her harder. You moaned lowly as your pleasure began to increase, slapping her ass to give her the playful punishment you thought she deserved for teasing you earlier

  "Fuck" she shouted breathlessly, earning a growl from you as you tried to fuck her into silence. You weren't surprised when her panting filled the room and she brought her body up so she could lean against your chest. "Fuck" she repeated, quieter this time, as your fingers lingered to her core, pressing on her sensitive bud as your thrusts became stutters and grunts continuously left your lips. You came, messily, inside her but kept your fingers moving against her clit as you took yourself out of her, kneeling down in time to find your juices leaking down her leg; snaking your head between her legs to lick up the liquid teasingly. "You need to cum, don't you?" you baited, your finger poking inside and curving to find her g-spot while you gently swept the tip of your tongue across her clit

  "Fuck, yes," she panted, "faster baby. Make me cum" you smirked at her pleas. You quickened your ministrations until her legs shook and she was unable to stand, falling to her knees while a sigh exited her mouth. Her hand lazily rested on your chest as she attempted to compose herself and you could only chuckle

  "Oh we're not done yet"

  "What?" she gulped, eyebrows raising in surprise

  "Oh no no no no," you laughed, "you wanted me to fuck you. I'm gonna fuck you senseless. Until you can't speak without feeling me inside you. Until you see my face with every breath you take. Until you feel the heat from my body against yours just by walking across the room. Until you need to beg for mercy at any given second because I'm still making you cum."

  "T--" she hesitated, pushing herself up as best she could while still not being able to use her legs, "that sounds good to me"

  "You sure you can handle it?" you asked

  "From you?" she replied, raising her hand to stroke your cheek, "any day. All-day"

  "I do love you" you admitted once more, hoping she'd say it back but helping her up gently so you could continue to fuck her, as you promised you would

  "I love you, too" she confessed and you kissed her quickly, lifting her up and carrying her to the bed. It was at that moment, when you saw her smiling underneath you, that you didn't care if the guys heard the two of you. She was yours and you were hers. You had her and she had you. Nothing could ruin that.

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