#and i refuse to believe that it’s not the same for steven and amethyst | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

novantinuum · 3 years

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Fandom: Steven Universe

Rating: Teen Audiences

Words: 6.3K~

Summary: In another world, he doesn’t have his mother’s sword or shield to hide behind when Bismuth lands her strike. The bubble pops.

Steven falls apart.

Chapter summary: In which freedom is a future worth fighting for.

Finally finished this chapter, yay! I promise I throw canon off a ravine entirely next chapter, I just needed to set up some stuff. Hopefully the Ruby POV makes things somewhat fresh.

If you read this and enjoy, I’d greatly appreciate your support through reblogs here, or kudos/comments on AO3. Thank you! <3

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Chapter 13: system/REBOOT, Part 1

The whole mission is Garnet’s idea.

By this point, they’ve known about Homeworld’s rushed Beta Kindergarten project for about fifty years. Frankly, its composition leaves much to be desired. The area is rich in the iron and silicon deposits necessary to produce a strong batch of quartzes, but the foundation they incubated all their new soldiers within is red clay cemented sandstone; it’s soft, and in constant danger of erosion. According to all the rebellion’s peridots, many of them top Homeworld kindergarteners before their eventual defection, this type of stone is critically unfit for Gem production. It can’t compress the inclusions of injector fluid at the correct pressure, can’t reliably bar the excess from draining through the porous material. As a result many of the individually incubated sites are predicted to ‘weep’ and lose critical volume, which will inevitably cause the emergent quartzes to be ‘off-color’ in some fashion. Some may be under regulation height, some may exhibit crystal twinning, some may be incapable of standard abilities like shapeshifting or weapon summoning, so on and so forth.

As a fellow off-color herself, Garnet carries a deep empathy for all those who are forsaken and unwanted. She can foresee the dire fate of these Beta Gems creeping over the dawning horizon even without the benefit of future vision, can foresee that despite all of these soldiers’ loyal programming, they’re ultimately cursed to be eliminated within the cruel machine of Homeworld. One day beyond the battlefield, the so-called Great Diamond Authority will see no further use in their existence, and then they’ll be purged. Harvested for scrap. Trapped within a myriad of Gem-powered objects. Crushed and used within their drop ships for fuel.

It’s pure tyranny.

Thus, she refuses to let their cruelty stand without a just fight. They have to give these Gems a chance beyond Homeworld’s rule, because abandoning them would be abandoning everything that their brave rebellion stands for, that she stands for. She refuses to stand powerless and idle in the face of a Diamond’s commands like the Sapphire and Ruby she once was, refuses to let another tragedy slip by without at least attempting to mend its damage. She is Garnet, she is freedom, and she is love.

And deep within her core, she believes these soon-to-emerge soldiers deserve the same opportunity for renewal and hope as any other Crystal Gem.

For all Ruby’s aware, a whole geological era could have passed between that fateful moment she first set eyes on Jasper and the shards-late arrival of Amethyst and the others. All three of them duck behind the low rock formations she’s hiding in the shade of, Steven still breathing heavily from the no-doubt harried and concerned exertion of their sprint towards her. Hard light coursing from the gem in her palm to all other extremities at random intervals amidst crackling cinders of immobilizing terror, (she’s almost surprised her form isn’t flickering at this point), she desperately attempts to babble an explanation. She’ll admit— it’s not a particularly coherent one. Ask her mere minutes later, and there’s little chance she’ll be able to repeat what she said. Heck, she’s not confident about her words now, in the heat of the moment. It’s probably something about holes, something about injector scrap, about all those Gem monsters, a-and—

"Whoa, what the heck!” Amethyst blessedly interrupts, raising her head above the rocks and pointing across the clearing at the orange and red striped quartz diligently prowling the area like a true squadron leader. “Jasper’s here, too? Did everyone decide to skip on over to Beta today, or somethin’?!”

Peridot’s face scrunches in confusion as she regards her former mission partner. “What is she doing?”

“She’s got all those corrupted Gems in cages,” Steven murmurs with realization, a tiny spark of outrage lighting up behind his eyes on those creatures’ behalf. “They’re not even bubbled, they’re just… trapped, and scared!”

Ruby brings her fist to her mouth, nervously nibbling at her fingers for a moment to anchor herself back to this present. Above all else, ignoring every thread of trepidation and insecurity she bears, there’s one burning question that pulses at her core with an unmatched luminosity about this whole scenario:

“B-but why would she want so many corrupted Gems in the first place? Doesn’t she know she can’t tame them?”

The purple quartz growls, the fringe of her hair casting a dark and menacing shadow over her features as she tilts her head down and glares at her self-proclaimed rival. “I don’t think she knows nothin’.”

And as— instinctively, mistakenly, running off of over five thousand years of deep engrained habit— she attempts to open her third eye towards the winding tributaries of potential futures they may soon find themselves wading through and fails, it slowly dawns on her just how isolated and lost they all are, without Sapphire’s sight. Without her love.

“Neither do I…” she says softly, her stature shrinking in the throes of that suffocating inadequacy. Riding an abrupt wave of frustration, she slams her foot into the coarse dirt, gripping thick chunks of her coily hair between her fingers. “Aughhh, this is a terrible time to not have future vision!” she huffs, spitting out each word staccato.

“Pipe down!” Jasper hollers at the poor corrupted Gem cornered in the distance as she kicks one of the bars of its cage, her booming voice easily reverberating off the cliffs’ curvature.

All four of them can’t help but bite back their gasps upon this clamoring startle. Peeking her head just above the rim of the rocky outcropping, Ruby watches the fur covered quartz visibly shrink back at the soldier’s command. Jasper continues, her unwavering act of confidence currently undeterred by this reaction.

“You take orders from me now. You used to be a quartz too, didn’t you? What happened to you?”

Utterly failing to comprehend any of her words in this vulnerable, animalistic state, the corrupted Gem merely snaps its fangs at the bars, and then tilts its head sideways to begin chewing on one of them. Jasper scoffs, her lips rising in a mild sneer. Taking the risk to edge closer, she continues to verbally berate the poor thing, talking the same sort of smack Ruby’s former Homeworld commanding officer, Condor Agate, used to dish out. Ruby grinds her teeth together so hard as she watches this display that the pressure and heat alone might be enough to form a brand new batch of Gems. Jasper even finds a moment to rope Amethyst into her insults, which almost has the stone in question summoning her whip in pure unfiltered fury. It’s only Steven and Peridot’s quick clutch on her shoulders that holds her back from steamrolling into the clearing with zero preparation and potentially making a terrible mistake. Still, she’s gotta admit, the temptation to whoop this Homeworld brute’s butt right this minute is devilishly hard to resist.

Ruby growls, one of her gauntlets emerging into existence on her clenched fist with a burst of light. “Oh-hoh, do I wanna launch this baby right into her dumb, chalky face…!”

“But maybe first we should go back to the temple and grab reinforcements?” Peridot whispers hastily, whirling around to face her. Panic visibly tightens its grip on her form with each passing second.

She pauses a moment to let the logic of this suggestion sink in, gaze hardened, and self-consciously aware of how her fellow Gems are (wrongfully) looking towards her as their leader in this chaos. What options do they even have? They can choose to fight, that’s one. They could disengage. They could retreat to Beach City and seek backup. If they were truly desperate, they could surrender. (Although she’s not confident Jasper would gracefully accept anyone’s defeat, not until it ended with their poofed— maybe even shattered— gemstones littering the coarse sand.)

As the gears are still pirouetting in her mind, she turns towards Steven, who nods in vehement agreement of Peridot’s strategy, his mouth stretched thin.

Sighing with frustration, she loosens her grip, recalling how even Garnet was barely able to match up with Jasper’s might. “Yeah, you’re right. She’d beat us into the dirt without Pearl or Sapphire.”

“Okay, so far we got three votes for retreat,” he says, holding up the appropriate number of digits as a visual. “Amethyst?”

In sync, the trio turn towards where the quartz just stood and find nothing but faint granules of recently upended dust filtering through a beam of sunlight. Both Peridot and Steven let out a fearful squeak at her absence.

“W-where is she?” the former Homeworld technician cries, craning her neck over the top of the rock formation to try and secure a visual.

“Up there!” Steven exclaims under his breath, pointing at a ridge a good ten feet above them that crosses from the arched entrance of this natural amphitheater all the way to the other side where Jasper stands, her back still turned to them.

Following the path of his index finger, Ruby catches a flash of purple, black and lavender stealthily advancing along the narrow rim towards the very soldier who reportedly poofed her with a single strike about a week back. The light sustaining her form nearly drains from all her limbs and rushes back to her gem.

“Oh, shards no…”

Stars above, what the hell is her problem? she thinks, her mind riding in a narrow track between exacerbated vexation and dread. Does she have a death wish, or something?? Surely the last place a rational person would choose to run is directly into the arms of the Gem who clobbered them into a senseless cloud at their last meeting. Surely a rational person would instead choose to retreat and regroup. However, as she glumly reflects upon the dour happenings of the past few days, Amethyst’s actions prove she’s currently unable to think rationally about Jasper or any other kind of conflict. She’s been markedly sullen at everyone around her ever since she first got her butt whooped. Obsessed with her private training sprees. Emotionally stand-offish. Prone to making rash decisions, like letting her mouth run off at poor hapless Steven about matters that aren’t his fault, or slashing her whip right at people’s feet to push them away, or… or rushing directly towards Jasper in an enclosed space with little to no backup just because she’s desperate to show her up for the sake of her own self-worth, or whatever.

And Ruby gets it, to an extent. She understands how cripplingly powerless it can feel to be written off as ‘the weak one,’ as nothing but an expendable. She understands the vivid temptation to let one’s anger drive such antagonistic confrontations. However, she’d also like to believe that she carries enough self respect in this gem to not throw herself right on an enemy’s anvil. Whether or not Amethyst possesses the same level of restraint is another question entirely. She flexes nervous, twitchy fingers at her side as she watches her dear friend creep further along the rim, ever closer to what she fears will be her unquestionable demise.

With the corrupted Gem’s racket still occupying Jasper’s undivided attention, Amethyst leaps from the cliff’s edge and into the clearing, pulling her whip from her gem in midair. The moment her toes touch the ground again, she slashes its barbed ends at the bars of the cage, right next to the quartz soldier’s hand. Jasper yanks her digits back. Her entire body snaps tense upon this disruption. Watching from behind their rocky cover, Ruby, Steven, and Peridot bite back the urge to gasp in shock.

“HEY!” Amethyst yells, lowering on her haunches right behind her opponent.

Now, there’s obviously no way to prove it without somehow obtaining intimate knowledge of her headspace, but upon external observation, Ruby swears that this big, buff Beta Kindergarten quartz is masking surprise. The sentiment is visible in the alignment of her shoulders, lifted high and tight against her neck. It’s visible in her narrow stance, light years away from the proper form of a soldier expecting battle. Flexing her thick, dexterous fingers at her side, she makes a blatant show of puffing out her chest before she turns to face her challenger, an almost predatory smile curving upwards on her lips as she regards her.

“You back away from her,” Amethyst hisses, nodding towards the Gem in the cage.

Jasper lets out a hearty chuckle. “Oh-hoh, what do we have here? You finally decide to crawl back for a rematch, runt?”

She grits her teeth, tightening her fist around the pommel of her weapon. “That’s right. I’m back, and I’mma wipe you all over these cliffs!”

“Perfect,” her opponent practically purrs, cracking her knuckles in anticipation. “I’ve been needing a light warmup.”

Rose approves her mission without question, when she first brings her the idea. Of course she would, in retrospect— the hidden diamond she was.

Garnet takes forty of her fellow soldiers and friends with her to the Beta Kindergarten. They don’t wield any weapons. These Gems are brand new, stepping into the light for the very first time. There’s no need to threaten them; all she wants is to peacefully talk, to introduce them to the concept of freedom, of choosing their own path beyond the Diamonds’ rule.

At the time, all she wanted was to follow her beloved leader’s example and choose peace and harmony over subjugation and brutality.

But with the bitter truths they know now, and reflecting upon the horrid atrocities they themselves participated in amidst the war… despite Rose’s self-proclaimed ‘pacifism,’ despite the shaky justifications of their cause being different than Homeworld’s brand of violence... she’s increasingly unsure if any of them ever had a choice.

Tragically, it only takes mere seconds for the initial triumphant beats of Amethyst’s war against Jasper to devolve into a one-sided thrashing.

With a mighty, almost frenzied yell, Amethyst moves one foot forward for counterbalance and slings the weighted, barbed tip of her weapon directly at her opponent’s face. Jasper catches it midair, mere inches from her gem. An arrogant smile paints her visage. After winding the whip’s end around her hand, she yanks its user towards her with a snap of her wrist, swings her in a wide arc, and effortlessly slams her into the nearest cliff wall, blowing up a huge plume of pulverized rock and dust. It all happens so fast that the rest of the party barely has any time to react. As the rubble settles, Ruby finally spots her friend amidst the chaos, collapsed on hands and knees in the dirt. The poor Gem’s hands are nearly trembling as she vies to rise to her feet again, vies to stand her ground and keep fighting.

There’s only one thing she knows for sure, watching all this: if hard light were consumable rather than indelible, she would quite literally be chipping away at her knuckles with her teeth by now.

His expression blown wide with fear, Steven breaks their communal silence to holler Amethyst’s name. Hands flexing in and out of fists, he darts away from their hiding spot. And they tried to stop him, they really did— it’s simply that he’s far too nimble for either of them to catch in time.

“Steven!” Peridot cries, trying and failing to grab his hand to hold him back.

“Steven, no!” Ruby yells, arms outstretched, as he sprints into the clearing— entirely blowing any remaining amount of cover the three of them had, placing his gem at Jasper’s mercy, and causing a thousand living nightmares to flood into her consciousness in but a millisecond. “Come back!!”

“Wait! Wait,” he gasps, waving his arms wildly to catch the larger quartz’s attention as he passes into the center of this natural coliseum, firmly planting himself at Amethyst’s side. “Stop! We don’t need to do this!”

Giving a growl that would rival that of a corrupted Gem’s, Ruby clenches her fingers around thick coils of her hair at either side of her head and yanks. “Aughh, why does nobody listen to me when I’m short??”

A faint trail of glowing embers marks a record of her path as she leaves Peridot by their rocky outcropping and storms right into the open after him. Oh, hoh, hoh— that boy can disobey her clear, simple orders all he wants, but in his folly he’s forgetting one very important fact: rubies are stubborn Gems. And she’ll fight to protect him from the crossfire of Jasper’s hubris and Amethyst’s self-destruction even if that means braving her deepest terrors to run out there and drag him back to safety herself.

(Ideally, she’d be able to drag Amethyst with her out of the thunderdome as well, but she’s also quite the stubborn one. So try as she may, that’s not likely to happen.)

Ruby strides towards the middle of the clearing and defiantly plants her feet in the sterile soil right in front of Steven, and adjacent to Amethyst. She summons her gauntlets, her features twisting in a scowl. “Stand down and let them go!” she shouts up at that bulky orange quartz with all the Garnet-like confidence she can muster. “This is not a Homeworld controlled planet!”

“Steven, Ruby, get out of here!” Amethyst hisses under her breath, her battle-ready stance solidifying with a strange mixture of apprehension and anger as she regards the two of them.

“No!” she shoots back, tugging at her arm. “Come on, you know I can’t just leave you here.”

Jasper’s molten amber eyes narrow, her steely gaze colliding right into her.

“ You,” she says, enunciated as sharp as a dagger. “One half of that vile war machine.”

“War machine?!” Steven cries, distraught by the very implication. “She’s not a war machine! Garnet fuses for love!”

“Yeah!” Ruby jabs her fist in the air loud and proud.

The Homeworld warrior scoffs, seemingly not impressed by their display of solidarity. She folds her arms solid across the Yellow Diamond insignia emblazoned upon her chest and steps closer to address her directly. “And where’s this love now?” she spits, mockingly stooping to her level.

And despite the faint, triumphant memories of her last incursion with this quartz, (well… Garnet’s last incursion), she can’t help but cower in her presence, can’t help but crumble like the deficient sandstone of this very kindergarten under the cruel, personalized precision of her blunt words. Because... she’s right. Because that’s the whole problem, the pulsing heart of life’s cruel game. Fusion offered her a tantalizing taste of freedom, a glimpse of a reality where, together, a lowly guard and her sapphire could achieve literally anything through the strength of their love!— but that world feels like nothing more but an unobtainable mirage now. She’s absolutely useless on her own, just some pathetic waste of resources! No authority, no power, no wisdom of foresight— she brings nothing to the Crystal Gems’ cause. She never did. It was always her. Tears bead at her widening eyes, her gauntleted fists already beginning to tremble at her sides.

“I-I…”

“Where’s any of your power now?” Jasper continues as she raises back to her full height, lifting both open hands towards the empty, cloud-streaked skies. She throws her head back as she offers them all a bright, boastful chuckle. “To think I used to view you traitors as a threat, but now even your disgraceful cause is falling apart, isn’t it… Rose?”

Still standing a step behind her, Steven’s immediate reply brims with tones of frustration. “I’m not—“

“But you’re wrong!” a high, familiar voice urgently calls out from behind them all.

This whole messy confrontation breaks to a halt as everyone turns to gape at the lone Gem poking her head out above the rocky outcropping. Peridot gasps at the sudden influx of attention, and hastily ducks for cover again.

“What are YOU doing here?” Jasper growls with annoyance, grinding one of her feet in the dirt as if inwardly hoping she could shift the very earth they stand on and finally gain the advantage of surprise once more.

“I-I…” the green Gem stammers, slowly creeping out from her hiding spot, summoning newfound confidence as she lays her eyes on each and every one of her friends. “I’m here because our cause hasn’t fallen apart! We live on Earth to be free, to learn new things about ourselves. Like how I can bend metal to my bidding!” she exclaims, tossing enthusiastic fists into the air.

On the cliff face over twenty feet away, a skinny length of metal from one of the injector’s legs slips from the device, falls straight down, and noisily clatters as it collides against the rocky soil. Amethyst facepalms. Meanwhile, Jasper appears so underwhelmed by this display that in any other circumstance, her glazed-over expression could be comedic.

Peridot briefly scowls at her botched handiwork. “And sure,” she shrugs, nodding towards that shard of metal, “nothing’s ever perfect here, but together, we work to help and support each other, just like we’re supporting Amethyst now. Isn’t that freedom worth fighting for?”

A few beats pass as the heart of this proclamation sinks in, the ticking seconds seeing Steven beam in pride at his friend’s progression since the beginning of her stay on Earth, and Jasper’s features scrunch inwards in an almost sour manner. Between the stifling roots of her own despair, even Ruby herself can’t help but feel a little uplifted by this hopeful sentiment. It’s a well-timed salve to an old burn, a naive yet ultimately truthful promise of lighthearted days to come. After all, hasn’t her time as a Crystal Gem taught her by now that no circumstance is permanent? That a single unifying cause can collapse empires like a wildfire, can continually reshape one’s entire understanding of existence? Her gauntleted hands shift at her side as a new spark of timid confidence ignites at her core. What was she thinking, letting this brute of a quartz tower over her and define the very pillars of her own story? She’s better than this. For the very sake of her friends she has to be!

But alas, before this newfound bravery can see its hour of triumph on this secluded battlefield, she finds herself once again cast aside by one of the very friends she’s vying to protect.

Amethyst growls in frustration at their continued presence, and summons her weapon. “UGH, you GUYS!” She slashes its barbed tips against the cliff face right above Peridot, not close enough to hit her, but certainly with enough force that it spooks her into diving behind the low rock formation again. Scowling, she then turns and plucks an actively protesting Steven right off the ground. “Get out of here!” she yells, tossing him back towards the clearing’s entrance. “This isn’t your fight!”

Ruby gives a sharp yelp as she just barely leaps backwards to dodge the business end of her whip, swinging low in a vain attempt to tangle up her feet. “Hey—!”

“It’s just you and me, Jasper,” the purple quartz breathes heavily, and abruptly whirls around to jab her finger towards her opponent. “ONE-ON-ONE!”

Silently, a consenting smirk riding over her lips, the taller Gem summons her ramming helmet in a glittering flash of light.

The mission is— in the terms of the brave humans they sometimes fight alongside— a bloodbath.

When they first warped in, Garnet only expected to find a small handful of disoriented jaspers, citrines, and carnelians roaming about. Gems they could talk to. Gems they could reason with, just as Rose reasoned with her fellow quartzes at the very start of this bold rebellion. Instead, what emerges soon after their arrival is more shocking and unpredictable than any future Garnet could’ve ever visualized.

Bursting from the very heart of this slapdash, rushed Kindergarten, despite every single locational and structural disadvantage this place stacks against one’s favor, is Her.

The strongest, most perfectly formed jasper she’s ever laid eyes on. She’s seven feet tall, built as solid as diamond, her flawlessly faceted gemstone gleaming bright and proud in the rising sun. She wastes no time in following the miserable orders the Great Diamond Authority cruelly embedded deep within her soul, immediately calling the hundreds of scattered and confused off-color Gems surrounding her to action.

Garnet and her squadron simply don’t have enough time to intervene, to try and settle this skirmish halfway peacefully. They don’t have the numbers.

Twenty three Crystal Gems are shattered that day. Numerous more on both sides are cracked or poofed.

And yet one of the greatest tragedies, in her mind… is that these emergent Gems never got the proper chance to consider any purpose beyond their assigned station. Never got a chance to glimpse the promise of their own freedom.

Everything happened so fast.

She took this place for granted— thanks to her own preconceived notions about the kinds of Gems that could emerge here, utterly failed to foresee this potential turn of events— and in the end it cost lives. Both those of her fellow Crystal Gems, her friends … and those of the Beta quartzes she failed to save from Homeworld’s damaging influence.

That night, as she bitterly weeps for the recovered shards of the beloved they lost, clenches her gauntleted fists tight around her gemstones, she vows to never let such a harrowing tragedy escape her vision again. No more.

A leader like her is not allowed to fail.

With the mighty roar of a lion, Amethyst stamps her leading foot to the ground to center her balance and rears her weapon-wielding arm back, wholly intending to defend her pride from this boorish bully. The first and second slashes are fruitful, one striking Jasper in the face, and the next hitting her chest with such intense force that it slams her into the cliff wall a few feet back, but Ruby can’t help but dread the litany of unknown possibilities haunting their future as she watches, powerless in her lack of second sight to influence their present. Could Amethyst win this fight? Sure. There’s gotta be at least one river of time where that occurs, where Jasper is so wrapped up within that facade of insufferable hubris that she fails to take her seriously as an opponent and pays the price. But on the other hand, she senses so many chinks in Amethyst’s armor that she can’t help but fear the opposite. She’s blinded by her anger, unable to consider consequence rationally. Her form in battle— compared to her usual performance— is notably sloppy, as if she’s throwing herself at this fight with such an explosion of tangled, raw emotion that her years of training and refinement have all but melted away in the inferno. Her fingers are trembling as she tightens her grasp on the whip’s pommel.

All of this stated, Ruby may not possess the gift of Sapphire’s future vision, but she has more than enough experience on patrol and on the battlefield to recognize a soldier who is woefully unprepared for a fight. Something terrible is about to happen, she can just feel it.

“Be careful!!” she cries, cupping her hands around her mouth.

“It’s fine, she’s totally rocking this!” Steven says with a huge grin, seeming uncharacteristically calm, given the circumstances. He whoops, and punches his fist in the air. “Go Amethyst!”

Ruby and Peridot briefly match eyes, the noted concern in their gazes pointing towards the fact that they both think that Amethyst’s insistence to fight is reckless and naive. In retrospect, of course her friend would agree with her. She spent a lot of time cohabiting with Jasper on their journey to Earth, so she’s bound to be well aware of her fundamental nature.

At the moment however, given the shorter quartz’s tunnel vision, she’s certain that any of their valid concerns would fall upon deaf ears.

“Who’s weak now, huh?” Amethyst spits from across the clearing, flicking her wrist to activate the triplet spiked balls at the ends of her whip, an upgrade gifted by Bismuth she surprisingly hasn’t seemed to have abandoned. With a holler, she swings her leading arm back and around to build up momentum and then slashes at Jasper’s chest three times in succession. The last hit comes with enough force to push her backwards in the dirt a few feet. “Who’s powerless NOW?!”

Then, just as Ruby fearfully predicted, the winds shift.

The firestorm doubles back upon them, Jasper merely swatting the flail ends away like they were nothing more but a momentary nuisance. Her expression narrows into a scowl. Emergent shock mingles alongside the dark cloud of Amethyst’s anger like wayward lightning bolts as she growls in frustration, the side-swept fringe of her hair shadowing her features. In retaliation she summons a second whip and immediately slashes them both against the soil, endowing them with a crackling, purple-tinged energy, almost a fire of her own making. She tucks into a ball and literally hurls herself at the quartz warrior, her form only recognizable in the heat of that moment via a dazzling blaze of light.

The resulting collision throws up so much dirt and smoke that Ruby has to throw her small body in front of Steven’s to shield him from the worst of the debris.

When the thick curtains of dust finally part, the consequences of this overly-impulsive move are revealed. Jasper still stands proud and tall, her mettle unaffected by this attempted show of strength. Barely a scuff even marrs her uniform. Meanwhile, Amethyst lays hunched over on hands and knees, hacking up fragmented remnants of sandstone she likely swallowed amidst the impact. (Alas, that’s the price she pays for choosing to always reform with an semi-operational digestive system.)

“Is it sinking in yet?” Jasper queries pointedly, advancing towards the trembling Gem on the ground.

Amethyst is so exhausted she can’t even muster the strength to respond, her arms quivering beneath her as she vies to hold up the simulated weight of her hard light form.

Her foe roughly kicks her in the chest, her foot striking mere inches under her gem. Ruby visibly cringes at both the shallow huff of distress that this hit elicits from her, and Steven’s cries of fear in response.

“It doesn’t matter how long or hard you fight,” Jasper boasts, her imposing figure hovering like a bad omen over her quartz sibling’s, “because I’ll always be stronger! Runts like you never had a chance. Runts like you are worthless.”

Angrily, she grinds her teeth together, cradling the vulnerable gemstone on her hand.

Worthless.

Who the hell does this square hunk of stone think she is, slinging such heavy-handed words around like the blunt end of a mallet?

“Get your worthless, sorry forms back in formation!” wretched old Condor Agate used to scream at her and the others in her squad, back when she spent eternity guarding empty corridors, back before she was eventually reassigned to Sapphire’s personal guard. “You’re an embarrassment to your commanding agates, all of you!”

Ruby growls, finding her resolve. That’s it. No more. She can’t bear to stand at the sidelines gripped in fear while some bully is literally beating her friend into the ground, both physically and emotionally. She can’t bear for Amethyst to fall prey to the same type of unwavering torment she herself experienced all those years ago on Homeworld, torment that utterly deformed her sense of self-worth until recognizing any ounce of good in herself became a gargantuan, near-impossible task. Admittedly, she still hasn’t healed from those days. Not entirely. Sometimes she’s unsure she ever will. But it’s her duty to put an end to this, to what’s happening in the here and now. After all, what’s the point of being a Crystal Gem if you don’t look after the people you love?

“We have to separate them,” she says firmly, turning towards Steven and Peridot. “She’s gonna get clobbered!”

The former kindergartener’s expression warps to despair under her visor. “But how? She doesn’t even want us to be here! And none of us are strong enough to face Jasper…”

“Could we make a distraction?” Steven suggests, his voice tinged with the same sort of urgency she feels thrumming like a frantic drum line at the depths of her core.

Humming in thought, Ruby considers the status quo. To no success, she attempts to ignore her friends’ expectant gazes, trustingly falling upon her exactly like all those fellow rebellion soldiers used to look at Garnet… as their de facto leader. But she’s no leader, far from it. Garnet would barely have to think before coming up with a genius, foolproof plan, but she’s going into everything blind. She can’t weigh out potential consequences before rushing into action. She has no ability to pinpoint the most ideal outcome and work backwards from there. With all this in mind, it’s really no wonder that Garnet passed command of the group to Pearl instead of her. At least Pearl has experience leading missions solo.

And yet desperate times call for desperate measures.

She scans their surroundings for inspiration, considering what options may be open to them. At this point there’s no time to double back to the barn or the temple for reinforcements. (And she strongly doubts Lapis would care to so much as match eyes with Jasper, anyways.) One or more of them could always charge into the fray to attempt and break up this small skirmish by force, but that would risk their safety, too. The last thing she wants is to knowingly throw her friends into harm’s way. No, the best option would be breaking the two quartzes up using something in their immediate environment, something large and heavy but capable of being quickly moved, something like...

Her eyes snap wide. “That injector!” she whispers excitedly, pointing to the hulking piece of junked equipment precariously hanging from the cliff wall, only stabilized by a few legs that still penetrate the cracked sandstone. “It’s right above them. If we knocked it down, then maybe…”

Peridot flashes a hopeful smile, and nods.

“We’re on it,” Steven says, summoning his shield. The two of them glance at each other, perhaps silently coordinating their plan, and then leap into action.

“Metal powers activate!” she exclaims, and throws her hands up in the direction of that rusted injector.

Subtly but noticeable, its legs begin to shift and creak under the force of her ferrokinesis, loosening from the eroding stone. Licking his lips, Steven aims his weapon and hurls. It strikes the device directly at its center, clanging against solid metal. The injector wobbles for a moment, its delicate balance obviously destabilized by this force, and then begins to slide free from the porous kindergarten wall. One still-impacted leg snaps under the torque as the cylinder’s immense weight plummets towards the ground.

“Heads up!” Steven calls out, causing a bemused Jasper to flick her gaze skyward, towards the falling object staining the soil with an ever-growing shadow.

The collision of the junky old injector almost appears like a small explosion, flinging dirt a good ten feet into the air and resolutely separating the two quartzes. But Ruby barely has time to high five Peridot and celebrate their success before the kid she’s supposed to be keeping safe darts off into the clearing once more. She hisses a small curse under her breath. Drat, of course he’d run straight to Amethyst’s side again at his first opportunity! She should’ve seen that coming a whole star system away. At least Jasper’s been temporarily marooned on the other side of that busted Gem tech, though.

The real question is, for how long?

Nibbling at her lip, she hastily sprints towards the edge of the injector to keep a watchful eye on their opponent as Steven attempts to have a mid-battlefield heart-to-heart. (At least, that’s what she assumes he’s doing. Admittedly, they kinda failed to hammer out the fine details of their plan before sprinting into action. Her fault.) Thankfully though, at first glimpse it seems the impact’s force has effortlessly knocked Jasper clear off her feet. She seems slightly dazed, but beyond that remains unscathed. Time will only tell if this strategy was a beneficial one. Briefly turning back towards the group, Ruby watches Steven crouch next to Amethyst. She’s muttering something to him, she thinks— her expression raw with fresh tears— but her words are far too hushed to make out. Whatever she shares, however, it’s clearly enough to elicit a strong emotional reaction from her companion.

“No, no!” he pleads, hurt painting his features. “My mom- Rose, she doesn’t matter. Whatever Jasper thinks doesn’t matter. She's the only one who thinks you should be like her!”

“But-”

“Stop trying to be like Jasper. You're nothing like Jasper! You're like me!”

“But even you’re different!” she explodes at first, but any anger present in her form immediately evaporates into something more innately hesitant, more self-conscious. Her fingers claw thick troughs into the reddened soil as she curls them inwards. “I’m not like you at all, I’m not some di—”

“No, that’s not the point!” he says, tears of his own budding at the corners of his eyes. “You’re like me because we’re both not like anybody. And yeah, it sucks. Everyone always expects us to be someone we’re not, but you know what? At least I've always got you. And you've got me! So stop leaving me out of this!”

Slowly pushing herself to her feet behind the junked injector, Jasper groans, her voice strained with newfound exhaustion Ruby never imagined she possessed.

“Y’guys, she’s getting up!” she calls out to her friends behind her, equally a warning as it is a call to action. After all, if this bold stunt finally managed to crack through the first layer of their opponent’s armor, then they might genuinely stand a chance now.

She’ll never know if they heard her, though— because in the same split second she turns back to check on them, the now embracing pair is engulfed in a blinding white light.

Even in the absence of a soldier's fire, everything turns to smoke.

#su #steven universe #ruby #amethyst #jasper #peridot #su fanfiction #my writing stuff #crack the paragon

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stevenuniversallyreviews · 4 years

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I don’t need you to respect me, I respect me

I’m gonna miss writing about Amethyst.

As the most sisterly Crystal Gem, a firebrand in the new role of middle child after spending millennia as the baby of the group, Amethyst’s story is about growing from a wild teen to a responsible adult. Like Steven, she feels the need to prove that she’s a Crystal Gem too, but unlike Steven, she already is a Crystal Gem, so she carries a different kind of resentment as she continues to be treated like a child. It’s made even worse by her warrior instincts clashing with her small frame: she lives with the constant anxiety that she’s a mistake, a Gem who came out wrong and doesn’t belong in her family, so she comforts and distracts herself with hedonism and shapeshifting. Her problem goes beyond not feeling respected: deep down, she fears that she doesn’t deserve respect.

But she changes her mind.

“This isn’t normal.”

The Return and Jailbreak culminated the first act of Steven Universe, giving our characters subtle achievements (Amethyst and Pearl casually fuse into Opal, Greg reveals a deeper understanding of the Gems than we once thought, Beach City comes together as a community when Steven is in danger) and huge changes (Steven summons a massive shield, Garnet’s status as a fusion is confirmed, Lapis goes from prisoner to imprisoner). While not an official finale, Beta and Earthlings culminated the second act, narrowing the focus to five characters as they each reach one milestone or another: Lapis and Amethyst find a level of peace, Peridot defends her new home, Jasper succumbs to corruption, and Steven helps his friends but fails to help his enemy.

In a way, Change Your Mind culminates the third act with an even narrower focus. Sure, it gives big moments to a ton of characters (there’s fanservice galore, and we see the three Diamonds in particular take enormous steps), but we zero in on Steven in the same way the entire act has zeroed in on Steven, because this is a story about identity. It isn’t only about who he is, but who he wants to be moving forward, and fusing all the insights he’s learned from his human family, his Crystal Gem family, and his Diamond family into a song that encapsulates his growth over the course of the series.

We start in the most lifelike of the Diamond dreams, so real that Steven still sees himself as Steven rather than embodying Pink. Once again, this connection emerges from sleeping in a location where Pink once dwelled, but while he wasn’t feeling her impatience and rage in Jungle Moon, nor her hardening resolve in Can’t Go Back, nor her whimsy in Familiar, this time they share the same headspace when they’re both locked in a tower.

Considering how bombastic things get in this episode, I love how low-key this final dream remains until White Diamond interferes. We’re as lost as Steven at first, worrying about Connie and baffled at Blue’s recognizable mood but incongruous accusations, but as the truth becomes clear, he transforms into Pink off-screen without any fanfare, both in body and in mind: Steven isn’t questioning Blue’s warning about Pink Pearl, Pink Diamond is apologizing for her own behavior in Zach Callison’s voice. Still, looking down jolts him out of it, and after seeing the Crystal Gems poofed at the ball for a more definitive Steven memory, we cycle in Rose’s horror at her family launching a final attack on Earth. The rapid-fire identity shifts that follow inspired the most haunting piece of promo art for the episode, drawn by Rebecca Sugar herself, but I didn’t wanna display it without a seizure warning.

It’s excellent exposition, hitting the highlights of the Diamonds’ many wrongs and establishing Steven’s fraying sense of self in a way that’s both artful and brief; it’s important to remind younger viewers about the stakes, but Change Your Mind doesn’t pretend that anyone should be watching this episode without context, so it doesn’t prioritize thorough explanation. And despite how frightening the nightmare becomes, Steven gains a new sense of clarity after seeing the pattern laid out in front of him. The Diamonds are hurting him in the same way they hurt his mother, and if he’s going to help everyone, he needs to help himself.

When Blue Diamond returns to the tower in modern day, Steven isn’t afraid, and he isn’t alone. The first of many puns riddling the finale emerges (“Déjà Blue!”) before Connie proves why she’s the perfect partner for our hero, platonic or otherwise. He’s terrible at confronting the people that hurt him—this would require him to acknowledge he’s hurt in the first place, which he’s also terrible at—but if she was comfortable enough with confrontation to call out her best friend when he wrongs her, Blue Diamond doesn’t stand a chance. Connie comes out swinging, loading the bases with candor and sass despite Blue’s confusion over why a human even gets an opinion about this stuff, which makes Steven’s refusal to apologize hit the Diamond like a grand slam.

I love that Steven’s flat “no” takes Connie by surprise as well as Blue, because yeah, it’s uncharacteristically blunt for someone who’s spent his entire trip to Homeworld bending over backwards like he usually does to accommodate others. When he doubles down by explaining that he isn’t sorry about creating a show that celebrates queer characters whoops sorry I mean fusion, Callison makes it sound like the most obvious thing in the world, and this is what upsets Blue enough to inflict her tears on him. We’ll learn even more about Pink’s temper in Steven Universe Future, but the simple act of not bowing to authority makes Steven “worse than ever” in Blue’s mind: violence is more acceptable than insubordination. (Also, violence in cartoons is more acceptable than queer folks just sorta existing in cartoons, but that’s neither here nor there.)

Change Your Mind is about combating bigotry and cycles of abuse, and Blue is the obvious first test. She’s a bigot who doesn’t think she’s a bigot (compared to Yellow, who doesn’t care that she’s a bigot, and White, who’s quite proud of being a bigot). She passively perpetuates a toxic status quo (compared to Yellow, who actively perpetuates it, and White, who established it in the first place). It makes sense that she’s the first of the remaining Diamonds to change her mind, because all it takes for her to realize that something is wrong is thinking about it a little harder.

This doesn’t let her off the hook, of course: Blue’s sloth—the sin, not the animal—might not look flashy next to Yellow’s wrath or White’s pride or Pink’s envy, but she still chose to do nothing for thousands of years rather than contemplate how her actions and her society might have wronged Pink. If it was this easy for Blue to realize she was hurting Pink, it makes it that much more of an issue that it took her this long to figure it out. Unintentional bigots might be the “best” option by default, but they can be just as harmful as intentional bigots, and there’s a special sort of damage that can come from an oppressor who truly believes themselves an ally.

That said, while it’s important to acknowledge her blame (emphasized here when she only stops attacking Steven when he calls her out rather than the Diamonds in general), Blue is also a victim. She’s one of the most powerful beings on Homeworld, but she’s still trapped by White Diamond, and resorts to putting others down as a means of reclaiming a sense of that power. In the same way oppressed people often turn to sexism and racism and homophobia to make themselves feel bigger, Blue (and Yellow) reinforce White’s sweeping bigotry in the same way they echo her family-specific abuse. It’s not a good coping mechanism, in this show or in the real world, but understanding the problem is key to fixing it.

So it still feels like a victory when Blue turns, even though it should’ve happened ages ago, and even though she’s a tyrant. She isn’t just deciding to help Steven, she’s breaking out of that cycle in a way that allows for growth beyond our hero’s immediate concerns. Lisa Hannigan captures this transformation beautifully, shifting from manipulative whining about Pink’s behavior to a crushing realization that she’s the one who’s wrong. And even as she joins Steven’s side, she remains weighed down by her longstanding prejudice: Hannigan stutters as she refers to the Crystal Gems as his family, and her triumphant defense of Steven’s name to Yellow comes with the caveat that she’s still misgendering him.

But before we get to Yellow, we take a pit stop that grounds us back to Steven and Connie’s hunger. It may seem small, but this is a critical moment in establishing Steven’s humanity in a way the show has quietly done from day one: with food.

The very first scene of Steven Universe establishes our hero’s human half in a donut shop, upset about dessert. From there, the next five episodes drill in that Steven will take a unique approach to his magical Gem heritage, and they all involve food in a major way: Cookie Cats, then his father’s saying about pork chops and hot dogs, then the Cheeseburger Backpack (important enough to be the episode’s name), then the Together Breakfast (ditto), then creating a monster based on fries.

It’s not just Steven, either. The first few Connie episodes involve eating and drinking in ways that show hints of growth (worrying about trans fats, then sneaking food into movie theaters) and mark key moments in her life (sharing a juicebox, taking her parents to dinner). Lars’s development is tied with his love of baking, and on top of him and Sadie working at the Big Donut, the Frymans and the Pizzas are so tied to their food service jobs that it’s in their names. And speaking of names, we’ve got Vidalia calling her sons Sour Cream and Onion. It even extends to the Gems: Amethyst’s connection with Earth means she loves food, and Pearl’s greater distance from humanity means she can’t stomach it.

Food is fundamentally something that humans require and Gems don’t, and just like we saw in Lars’s Head, Steven’s physical body forces him to think about his own needs despite his usual focus on others. Both his humanity and his ability to stand up for himself are key to his eventual victory, and what could’ve been a generic transition between Blue and Yellow’s big scenes instead becomes a quiet Steven scene. Steven changing into his usual clothes (including his mom’s star) and Connie changing into her own outfit (including her dad’s jacket) is the perfect finishing touch before we dive back into the drama.

True to their natures, Yellow Diamond gets a starker introduction than Blue’s dream sequence: as the lights burst on, we get two shots focusing on a horrifying number of mutated Gem Shards floating around in the room, then the Crystal Gems’ thankfully intact gems in one big bubble, before panning down to the villain who caused all this pain. The menace is palpable before she even opens her mouth, but Patti LuPone’s low tone keeps the mood from boiling over just long enough that when she loses her cool, it hits like a freight train.

Blue’s passive bigotry endured because she lacked introspection, but Yellow’s active bigotry requires constantly justifying actions she knows are cruel by presenting it as a matter of superior reasoning. We’ve known from her first appearance that Yellow’s seething fury undermines her reputation for cold logic, and now more than ever the connection between her behavior and that of “sophisticated” bigots is clear. You know the type: openly, smugly hateful, but couching their hate as something derived from some deep knowledge about the subject, whether in religious convictions or whatever “science” they can scrape together to confirm their worldview.

Sure enough, even in her rage, Yellow lays down what she sees as a rational explanation for why it was okay to mistreat Pink, and why it’s okay that they themselves are mistreated: if they make exceptions for anyone, even other Diamonds, they must make exceptions for everyone, and chaos reigns. Besides the slippery slope being a fallacy, her argument is punctured by Connie’s second big retort of the night, pointing out that this extreme conclusion of Homeworld Gems living free actually sounds pretty nice. But you can’t force this type of bigot to change their mind through reason; if such a person was actually interested in logical worldviews, they wouldn’t have become a bigot in the first place. You need to change their heart.

Fortunately, emotions are Blue’s domain, so she’s just the person to help. Unfortunately, in the same way she still can’t get Steven’s pronouns right, Blue lacks experience with healthy communication, and strikes a first blow against Yellow on instinct. The ensuing brawl is brutal, switching between the massive scale of two warring titans and the smaller scale of Steven and Connie scrambling to save the Crystal Gems as Blue and Yellow unload millennia of baggage on each other. It’s so important that Blue is the physical instigator here, as it fuels Yellow’s white-hot self-righteous streak like nothing else, and it keeps the fight from being one-sided all the way through: Yellow pretty much needs to be the one dealing the final blow for the scene to stick, so it gets balanced out by Blue’s opening punch.

Blue uses her powers on Yellow, and Yellow uses her powers on Blue, but Steven’s power is talking. So just like with Blue’s conversion, Connie gets the opening words while Steven gets the finisher. When he finally gets her attention after being ignored throughout the scene, he makes Yellow listen to him by using the same food-based expression I mentioned from all the way back in Laser Light Cannon. It’d pack a bigger punch if Greg said “If every pork chop were perfect, we wouldn’t have hot dogs” at literally any other point in the show, but it still does the trick.

Blue was emotionally ready to accept that Pink was suffering, but hadn’t considered the Diamonds’ role in that suffering. Yellow knew that Pink suffered thanks to the Diamonds, but suppressed her emotions to the point where she couldn’t empathize with her sister’s plight. Blue needed to be more thoughtful to change, and Yellow needed to be more in touch with her emotions to change, and thus the stage is set for the Battle of Heart and Mind against White Diamond.

Except that this isn’t the lesson of Change Your Mind. Blue and Yellow show that some bigots can be reached, which is great! But despite their differences, Steven uses the same basic strategy in both: he doesn’t let them belittle his identity, he confidently dispels their wrongheaded assumptions, and he gets help from allies instead of shouldering the burden himself. We spend the beginning of the episode seeing that in the right circumstances this approach can work, but from here we’ll see that with some bigots, it’s a non-starter.

So long as you can engage with bigots while maintaining your self-respect, it can be good work to try and help them see the light. It’s not an obligation, but if you want to change hearts and minds, Steven provides a good template for how to do it. Now the rest of the episode can focus on the bigger lesson: if someone refuses to respect your humanity when you’re steadfast and forthright, it isn’t your job to breathe in their poison, or to hold your breath until you asphyxiate waiting for change.

But more on that after the break!

I Can’t Believe We’ve Come So Far

As we reach the end of the original series, it would be criminal not to acknowledge three long-time storyboarders who are on their way out. This isn’t their final contribution to the series, as only one of Change Your Mind’s twelve credited writer/boarders didn’t go on to work on The Movie in some way (Christine Liu, whose tenure was brief but great), and Hilary Florido stayed on as a supervisor for Future. But I wanted to write the big sendoffs here, as this is the last proper “episode” that these three worked on as regular boarders. So it’s time to say goodbye to Katie Mitroff, Hilary Florido, and Jeff Liu.

First up is Katie Mitroff, who clocked two early knockouts with Alone Together and The Test alongside Florido. Mitroff’n’Florido went on to make other classics like Maximum Capacity and Joy Ride before the former teamed up with Lamar Abrams and the latter teamed up with Jesse Zuke for their next batch of episodes.

With Abrams, Mitroff deepened the lore of the show with We Need to Talk, Steven’s Birthday, Bismuth, Buddy’s Book, Three Gems and a Baby, and especially The Answer. She gave us the harrowing revelation of Back to the Moon, and the most ridiculous episode of the series, Restaurant Wars. Her final partner was Paul Villeco, finishing strong with The Trial, Back to the Kindergarten, Your Mother and Mine, Pool Hopping, What’s Your Problem?, Reunited, and Change Your Mind, 100% of which are either in my Love ‘em ranking or my Top Episodes. (Oh, sorry, spoiler alert I love Change Your Mind.)

It’s strange, because she didn’t work on any of the major episodes of Amethyst’s big arc at the end of Season 3, but Mitroff is one of my favorite Amethyst boarders: she’s the consistent thread between Maximum Capacity, Back to the Moon, and What’s Your Problem?, three cornerstones of the character. She excelled at going outside the show’s usual style, as seen in The Answer and Your Mother and Mine, and it’s no coincidence she helped animate Isn’t It Love? to bring Cotton Candy Garnet back for one last ride.

Katie Mitroff is an absolute rock star, I wish her well and you should too.

#change your mind #steven universe #su #steven universally #review

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starscheme · 3 years

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Only You

Chapter Twenty-Four: Garnet’s Secrets and Steven’s Dream

After hearing the news of Connie and the Off Colors, Garnet excused herself to rethink a few things. Inside her Temple room, Garnet was pacing the floor. For a while now, she'd been silently watching as her little family fell apart and it was difficult to remain together through it all. When Steven and Connie returned to the beach house with Spinels shattered Gem, Garnet was not surprised. Nor was she surprised when Steven insisted that Sodalite stay with them. However, the news of Connie being taken was news to her. Finally. It was what she had been waiting for.

Though Garnet felt bad about it, she was secretly elated over something she didn't see coming. There was a reason for this. Despite telling the others that she couldn't see anything regarding the creature, she had lied. In fact, Garnet could see many paths that involved this creature, but they all ended in tragedy. Tragedy that she wasn't willing to accept. She refused to tell the others what she saw in fear that they would dive headfirst into danger. Steven and Pearl especially. the others would surely hate her once they knew she was hiding information from them, but Garnet was waiting for something, anything that might change their fates. This was it. Connie had never been involved like this in the futures she saw. The problem now was figuring out how to proceed. She could see a few options, but she couldn't see very far. Eventually, the paths all went dark. This was also something new. So far, it had all been clear, but now things were uncertain. Was this a good sign? Did it mean that they really could change the futures she saw? All of which ended with more dead than she would have liked.

So far, Garnet had been trying to keep Steven within Beach City. She did her best to curb Pearls need to lead the searches, insisting that she needed to be there for Steven now. It wasn't fun to manipulate her friends like this. It wasn't fun going on searches and intentionally taking them places she knew they wouldn't find anything. However, Garnet felt she had no choice. She had to protect them the only way she could.

When Steven brought in Sodalite, Garnet knew it was not going to end well. Sodalite was using her power so much that it nearly drained her and Steven was so dependent on Sodalite now that he never let her leave his side. This was also something she had seen. It wasn't the most ideal path to take, but it was one that would keep Steven calm and inside of Beach City. The long-term effects of Sodalites help would be something they could deal with later. It wasn't going to be pretty, but it was the far better option.

What Garnet had to concern herself with now was how to proceed with everything taking Connie and the Off Colors into account. Since she couldn't see too far down the new paths that had been laid out for them, everything she planned would literally be a shot in the dark. All she could hope for was that these new paths meant the old ones had changed with these new variables in the mix. Without Steven knowing, Garnet had taken his phone, hoping to intercept any calls or texts he might receive from Connie while she was under the creature's control. As long as Sodalite was there to sedate him, he wouldn't noticing. So far, there was no indication that she intended to contact him at all.

After taking a moment to meditate on the problem, Garnet left the temple to make sure that things were still going as planned. She needed to set them on a certain path, one that may have been uncertain, but it was better than the alternative. The first step in keeping them on the path she chose, was to find Pearl and get her phone. She also had to make sure and send Amethyst away on some wild goose chase. There was also the problem of Steven and Sodalite. Especially Sodalite.

It didn't take much effort to find Pearl since she was anxiously pacing the floor of the observatory waiting on news. Though the slender Gem seemed a bit hesitant, she trusted Garnet enough to hand over her phone. No problems there. It was also an easy task to send Amethyst off. The only issue now was to keep any news from reaching Steven's ears. With this in mind, she made her way to Steven's bedroom, conflicted to see Steven looking rather sedated as he laid against his bed, staring up at the ceiling while Sodalite knelt at the side of the bed holding his hand. Garnet really didn't like just letting this happen, but what else could she do? This was the only way to keep Steven safe.

"How is he?" Garnet asked as she gently knocked at the door, hoping that she wasn't about to startle the Gem.

Luckily for Garnet, Sodalite seemed too tired to react as she normally would. She had been purifying Steven non-stop for days since the news about Connie and she was nearly at her limit. "...he...he's been...very upset..." replied Sodalite weakly.

The Gems tired voice was also a small source of guilt for the fusion. She was using this gem to serve her needs. What's more, she was here today to make sure that Sodalite didn't hear the news about Lars today. "...thank you for all you've been doing."

Sodalite smiled a bit, waiting for Steven to finally close his eyes before she released his hand and turned to Garnet. Though she wasn't able to look the fusion in the eyes, she appeared rather nervous as she spoke to the floor, wringing her hands in her lap. "A-actually...I-I...was wondering...if it was possible...for-for me to go and-and see L-Lars...? J-just while...um-just while My Steven is...is sleeping?"

This was what Garnet had come here for. "No," she replied at once.

The freckled Gem immediately deflated. "O-oh. ...but...I-"

"You are not to leave Stevens side," ordered Garnet adamantly. She felt bad for being so harsh with the nervous Gem. Sodalite had surely earned a break to see someone she loved, but if she went into the city today and saw what happened at the bakery, they would be flung down a path that wasn't good for any of them.

"...I understand..." answered Sodalite sadly.

Garnet glanced towards Steven, who seemed to be having a bad dream, stirring in his sleep with tears running down his cheeks. He was reaching out as if trying to reach someone and though she couldn't see his dreams, Garnet had a fair idea of what this nightmare was about. Spinel had been by his side all his life and once he realized his romantic feelings for her, Garnet knew they would have a hard time of it. Both Steven and Spinel had so much to work through, but she could never have seen this monster coming and tearing them apart like this. What made this all so much worse, was that Garnet knew Steven didn't have to suffer quite this much if she only told him what she'd been keeping to herself all this time. Spinel was alive. She knew this since the moment she was presented with the Shattered Gem Steven and Connie believed to be her old friend. Unfortunately, Garnet had to keep this to herself. What the others perceived as mourning, was Garnets anger and sadness over knowing that this creature had taken her friend and devastated the others with her cruel trick. What's more, Garnet knew exactly where this creature was hiding out, but if she told the others, it would be the end. More specifically, the end of Steven, Sodalite, Pearl, and Connie. She couldn't, she wouldn't let that happen. "...just...take care of Steven," Garnet added, pulling out Steven's phone to check it since it was buzzing relentlessly. The mayor, Lars' parents, Sadie, and the police department were apparently trying hard to reach him and Garnet knew exactly why. "I have to go. Stay with Steven and don't use any communications."

Sodalite nodded her head and turned her attention back to Steven. Though she didn't have the energy to fully make the nightmares vanish, she took his hand and did her best to help. If only she could do more.

While Sodalite did what she could, Steven was lost in his nightmare. He found himself stuck in a neglected garden, much like the one in the temple, but far more spacious. The flowers had all but withered away and the stone structures were falling apart. He wasn't sure why he was here, but he didn't like it. The garden felt empty and there was this terrible anxious pit in his stomach. As he looked around the pitiful garden, he could hear someone laughing. A laugh he had heard all his life.

"Spinel?!" Steven called out. "Spinel, are you here?!"

"Did you come here to play with me?" Spinel's voice rang out.

"What? I-No! I came to find you!"

"Are you sure?" Spinel asked, suddenly appearing behind Steven as she stepped out of the dark.

Steven whipped around at once, shocked to see Spinel standing in front of him now. She looked nearly the same as the last time he saw her, but her hair seemed a bit disheveled as if she had been tugging at her pigtails, and her eyes were wild and desperate. Though Steven knew this was a dream, he couldn't help hoping that perhaps he and Spinel had finally connected in some way. It would mean she was truly still out there. Without hesitation, he lunged forward and wrapped his arms around her slender frame, holding her tight as his shoulders trembled.

"I-I've missed you so much!" Steven choked out, not bothering to stifle his tears. "I've been trying to find you! Please-Please tell me where to find you! I'll help you, I'll bring you back home!"

Spinel said nothing at first, nor did she react to Steven's embrace. "You replaced me..." replied Spinel finally, her voice flat and tired.

"No," insisted Steven. "I wouldn't. Not really," he pulled back to see her face but kept his hands on her shoulders. "I thought it might lure out-"

"-you replaced me too." Interrupted Connie as she stepped into the garden.

Steven gasped lightly, glancing at Connie over Spinel's shoulder. Connie looked rather banged up. Her clothes were torn and her hair was a mess as if she'd been in a fight. Admittedly, her words stung, but they weren't entirely true. "N-no," Insisted Steven as he shook his head, "I didn't replace you. I...I just..."

"You just threw me away the second you found someone else," snapped Connie. "I loved you...and you said you loved me too. Everything we went through together...it meant nothing to you."

"That's not true!"

"Then why," demanded Connie, "why was it so easy for you to toss me aside? So easy for you to be happy with Spinel as if I never existed?"

The pit in Steven's stomach was growing larger and it hurt. Is this really how Connie felt? Did he truly hurt her so much? "It-It wasn't like that. I just...I realized..."

"You used me to feel more human..." Connie finished for him. "You just thought you needed a human partner."

"NO!" Steven barked, feeling as if someone was trying to pull his heart from his chest. "You're my friend! My best friend! Just because my feelings changed, doesn't mean I regret being with you! I just...I never realized how I felt about Spinel because-because she was always with me..."

Connie frowned, glancing down at the ground before she hugged her own shoulders. "I-I know that."

Steven wasn't sure what was happening now. Was this a nightmare? Was it really Connie and Spinel trying to reach him? Either way, he was feeling worse the longer he was here. The pain was getting worse and now it was harder to breath, as if someone was pressing down on his chest. He turned his attention back to Spinel, who seemed almost lifeless as she stood there. "Spinel..." breathed Steven weakly, struggling to keep his grip on her shoulders. "...please just tell me...what to...find you..."

"She can't!" Connie shouted, dropping to her knees. Blood began to leak from her nose and mouth, clearly having trouble breathing as well. "St-Steven...if you don't hurry..."

"So tell me! What do I do?! Where can I go to help you two?!"

Connie took in some deep haggard breaths, trying hard to keep her focus as she spoke. "T-take Sodalite. ...Lars...Garnet can...she knows..."

As Connie struggled with her words, Steven could everything begin to fade around him. He could no longer keep hold of Spinel as her image began to vanish. "W-wait! Not yet! I still need-"

"You have to hurry," screamed Connie as everything turned dark. "You have to-"

Without warning, everything was gone and Steven woke up with a gasp. Covered in a cold sweat, he had sat up in a panic, his arm reaching out as if he was trying to keep the dream from leaving. He panted for breath and gripped his chest, feeling his heart pound rapidly.

"M-My Steven...?" Sodalite began cautiously, afraid to touch him after his sudden spring from sleep. He looked terrible.

"...I'm fine..." mumbled Steven before he turned to look at the freckled Gem. The dream was strange, but it felt real enough. Connie was trying to tell him something at the end. Something important. She said that Spinel couldn't tell him and Connie looked as if she were struggling to tell him anything at all. She'd mentioned Lars and Garnet. So that's where he would start. "...wanna go and visit Lars today?" Steven asked Sodalite, already knowing the answer he would receive. Of course, Sodalite nodded vigorously and helped Steven out of bed. He felt a lot like he had in the past when his Gem was separated from him, but he wasn't about to let that stop him. Connie told him to hurry, so that's just what he'd do.

#only you #steven universe #spinel #stevinel #spineven #garnet #steven universe fanfic #fanfic #Stevinel fanfic #connie #chapter 24

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fallen-stars-au · 3 years

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Any Kind of Freedom (Chapter 1)

Steven's been missing for over a month now.

Well, okay, he's not missing if they know he's on Homeworld, but he wasn't the sort to just go zero-contact for this long.

And it's officially been long enough.

They would find him and bring him home or get shattered trying.

(Here is also an Ao3 Version.)

Prev | First | Next

It was stupid.

It was absolutely, absurdly, ridiculously stupid how easy it was to piss off the Diamonds sometimes.

Sure, sure, they’d gotten better about it. Kind of. Apparently not as much as he’d thought—at least not when it came to White.

All he had to do was make one suggestion at what had apparently been the wrong time-

In the near-three years since he’d met the Diamonds formally and first travelled to Homeworld, Steven had been locked in the tower a total of five times. Three of them had been for just a couple days but hardly less unpleasant than the longer spells. But the other two times… His first prison sentence (there was nothing else he could call it) had been literal torture. He’d discovered things about how his half-gem biology differed (how the ways he could survive differed) from that of a full-human in ways he never wanted to experience again—in pain he never wanted to experience again. At the very least, Blue had recognized then that he wasn’t lying about having human needs, so the tower and “his” own chambers had been outfitted appropriately. It meant none of his other times in the tower had been as bad as the first, but it was hardly fun or even easy to handle. But what had to be the worst part about every single time he’d been put in that tower is that he never knew how long it would be until he could get back out of it. And with only six tiny windows, it was near impossible to tell a time since Homeworld lack Earth’s same sort of day and night cycle he vastly preferred.

The Diamonds even needed and actively used his help all the time now! Even with their own duties! But apparently, once again suggesting they let gems choose their occupations (despite the fact they knew how deeply he believed this and had successfully set it in motion within his own Court) had been just enough for White at that moment for her to not care about any of that right now. Instead, he got a disgusted and disappointed look, and Yellow got an order to put him away.

It was a small comfort, at least, that Yellow and Blue both looked regretful and as though they wanted to refuse the order.

By Day Three, he didn’t care so much anymore about that because he was still back in this damn tower anyways.

By Day Five, Steven properly started wondering just how long until he could get out. He missed… Well hell, he missed everything. And everyone. His daily delivery of food and fresh water from the crops at the Zoo being shoved through the slot in the door built for that sole purpose was the most contact he’d had with anyone, and the gem on the other side was hardly allowed to speak back to him. It was times like this he desperately wished he could keep things in his gem to even just have a guitar. Or even paperwork. Just anything to stop the maddening, looping thoughts in his head. The only thing that helped was singing, and even then, he couldn’t write any of it down. But he sang it over and over again so much, he sort of doubted he’d be able to forget it anyways. If that was a plus.

By Day Nineteen (maybe), he’d stopped singing. He wasn’t even sure he’d thanked the door every day for his supply like he liked to. He didn’t care anymore—he just wanted out.

“-ridot. Peridot. Peridot!” Splash. Peridot sat bolt upright, awake now, half-drenched, and rapidly checking that her tablet was safe. It was in Lapis’s hand, being extended towards her to reclaim when there wouldn’t be any water damage done to it. “Come on, we’re leaving for Homeworld as soon as we’re done checking on Garnet, Amethyst, Pearl, and Greg.” There was a tense note in her voice that had been consistent throughout the past few weeks—not that Peridot could blame her.

“Right. That’s today. Let’s get to it, then!” Peridot hauled herself up off the now-wet couch and accepted her tablet back after shaking the water off her hands before she motioned for Lapis to lead the way.

Thirty-seven days. It had been thirty-seven days since any of them had seen or heard from Steven. Oh sure, they could always contact Zircon and did every day to ask if he could speak to them, but she kept saying he was unavailable. By the look on her face, all they could tell is that she was no more thrilled about the reason he was unavailable as she was about their constant calls. It was ten days after he’d left for Homeworld last (longer than he’d been gone in years) that they’d first called Zircon and a couple more days after that when Peridot had stopped Lapis from going to Homeworld herself. Steven’s work with the Diamonds was delicate, and anything they did would lead to his punishment as much as their own. So rather than rushing off, Peridot had reasoned out an agreement with Lapis when they would go. Twenty-five days seemed like… a lot, really. It was a lot. Definitely more than Peridot liked either, but Zircon was still willing to answer their calls and insisted she knew where Steven was and insisted even harder that they not come.

“Right. We have approximately eighty-two minutes until Steven’s daily wake-up call should arrive to him on Homeworld, so that gives us a maximum of nineteen-point-five minutes with each of them to have time to warp to Homeworld and catch him before he leaves his room.” It would be silly to assume Steven was actually functioning on his normal schedule, but it was all they could go off of.

Lapis nodded, cold determination emanating from her as she wordlessly led the way out of the house to check on Greg first. Peridot followed, trying to soothe her own worries when they would hopefully have an answer to their concerns in just a few hours.

Thankfully, Greg was easier to check on than he used to be. Now that “Andy” (she still tended to call him The Other Greg to herself and to Lapis) was helping out more often, it was rare that either of them had to really do anything, but it helped Steven when they asked to make sure. They chatted for a few moments to let him know their plans for the day, and then they were gone again with a solid “good luck” and a plea to bring his son home.

Garnet and Amethyst were also easy to check on as they were at the house, attempting to play a human board game with no help or instructions, but they were at least having fun. A little over a month wasn’t very long for them, after all. It just was for Steven and anyone who functioned on a human schedule.

It proved a bit more difficult to find Pearl, however. She avoided the Temple—even her own room because it “was so awfully dangerous” by the amount of weapons stored there—and tended to stick around the house cleaning where nothing needed to be cleaned, but no one had seen her since the previous afternoon.

Time ticked on by, and the spare minutes they’d saved up in making the other check-ins quick were rapidly dispensed. Peridot scrunched her nose in mild irritation as the alarm she’d set on her tablet started to go off at her hip, and she wiggled out from under the back rafters where she’d been searching.

They were out of time or they’d miss their chance to catch him.

“Lapis! Hey, Lapis, come on, we gotta go! We can’t find her right now,” she called up towards the lighthouse even as another layer of anxiety piled itself on top of her stack. Where in the stars was Pearl? She wouldn’t leave the planet—that was the only thing Steven had ever ordered of her for her own safety. So where had she gone?

Lapis dropped to the ground beside her and was already walking back up the path to the house. She’d stopped wanting to search at least half an hour before; Peridot knew she was just as concerned about Pearl, but their worries for Steven won out in this instance. “She’ll be fine; let’s go.”

Peri quickly followed, grabbing her metal hovering device from just inside the front door and without stopping on the way to the warp pad; with a rush of light and a musical chime, they were at the Galaxy Warp. She gasped as the light dissipated and recognized someone there other than two of the four Rose Quartz guards (Rosie and Quinn as they liked to be called) in charge of keeping non-Earth gems off planet. “Pearl!!” Relief washed through Peridot as she hurried over to their “friend” (even after almost a year, it was still so bizarre and just… wrong not having Garnet, Amethyst, and Pearl as their normal selves) who was resting on her knees in front of the Galaxy Warp. “We looked everywhere… for.. you.” As soon as she saw Pearl’s face, she knew she’d been crying—enough for wise tear tracks to be dried down her cheeks.

Pearl pulled herself up from the ground, lacking her usual grace and semi-forced cheer as she saluted them both. “I apologize for not informing you of my whereabouts, Lapis Lazuli and Peridot. I wished to await my It’s Steven here so I might know the moment he returns to Earth…” It clicked.

Peridot knew something had been wrong lately, but of course she hadn’t been able to get a word out of Pearl about what it was. She still followed the classic rules of a Pearl, and that meant hiding and ignoring any of her own feelings. For her to have even cried like she clearly had been… well, it was almost relieving to see albeit kind of sad.

Before Peridot could point any of this out, Lapis’s patience was gone. “Well then, stop with the salute thing and come with us. We’re going to find him.”

Pearl started. “Find… him…? But- but he’s on Homeworld! I would be disobeying a direct order from my Diamond, I could hardly-“

“Who cares? If you’re coming, get moving. We need to leave.” Apparently Lapis had even less patience at the moment than Peridot had thought, but it was apparently just as well. When Lapis walked past to the massive warp pad in front of them, Pearl hesitated for a very long moment before she followed—seeming to struggle to take each step. But she still made them.

Peridot stayed by Pearl’s side for each slow step, and even Lapis calmed down some with wide eyes as they walked up and onto the Galaxy Warp. Once they were within the boundaries, Peridot warped the three of them away before Pearl could turn back and change her mind.

#fallen stars au #steven universe #steven universe future #su au #suf au #su #suf #steven universe au #steven universe future au #fs fics #peridot #su peridot #lapis #su lapis #lapis lazuli #pearl #su pearl

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conn-verse · 4 years

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stuff from the finale i cant stop thinking about

connie seeing right through steven’s lies every time

steven seeing his diamond eyes and being very, very scared

the gems giving each other Mom LooksTM

“i’m fine, guys, really!” “hmm... we’ll take your word for it...”

“amethyst says you’re on a strict ‘no plants-friends’ policy!”

bismuth

pearl being bismuth’s TA

connie trying her best to understand all this magic gem stuff because all she wants to do is help steven

“nothing’s wrong! besides, I don’t want you to worry.” “we are worried!”

steven’s breakdown. that entire monologue hurts me.

“you’re... you’re joking, right?”

“i can just keep messing up and fixing things forever, and you’ll never have to know or think about any of it! ...how messed up is that? that i’ve gotten away with this for so long?”

“you think of me as some angel, but im not that kid anymore!”

“as long as he believes he’s a monster... he’ll stay one”

greg refusing to leave because he needs to be there for his son

“why is something like this always happening when we show up for a visit?”

garnet splitting

THE CLUSTER

connie’s speech. connie’s speech conNIES SPEECH CONNIES SPEECH CON--

“the only person whos never had steven is steven!”

“it’s time to show steven... some love.”

connie teleporting midair and jumping off lion and onto steven’s nose

the look on her face the second she lands and looks up at him

“we’re all gonna take care of you the same way you take care of us. y’know what? i dont have your powers, but...”

connie’s soft, gentle kiss that’s just so full of love and longing

steven crying once he’s back to normal. i cant get over how sad he sounds. and i mean, rightfully so, but it breaks my heart

connie wiping his tears

steven finally letting it all out

“boogle maps”

the gems singing the cookie cat song

“i have a very comprehensive plan to visit all 39 states before i decide where to settle down! and, i can still video chat my new therapist while im on the road!”

bismuth offering to build him his own house

“wherever you go, you’ll be there... trust me, i know.”

“where am i going to find another steven as good as you, huh?! i like this one so much!”

“be the steven you wanna see in the world”

LAPIS IS AN ARTIST

“im gonna use my tears to make a watercolor painting of you”

“im here,, to give you a very important,,, and sentimental gift because im leaving,,,”

garnet’s gonna plan steven and connie’s wedding

steven and connie kissed. steven and connie kissed stEVEN AND CONNIE KISSED STEVEN AND CONNIE KISS STEVEN AND CONNIE KISSED!!!!!

“don’t breakfast without me!!!!”

steven backing up in tears and the gems are bursting into tears and making that lovely cry pile

“ah, i love that ukulele!!! i’ll never play anything else!!!!”

“later, bruh!”

the full version of “being human”

everyone in beach city seeing steven off

#long post #suf spoilers #god im so fucking emo over this #su #suf #steven universe #connie maheswaran #lapis #bismuth #peridot #pearl #garnet #amethyst #greg universe #su finale

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peachie5000 · 4 years

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Future: Steven’s Arc

These 4 episodes have demonstrated Steven’s past flaws, how they have grown, and what consequences they have: - Everyone around steven is changing yet he doesn’t know what his meaning is, and feels like he’s losing any past meaning he’s had. The one person who also has lost her meaning is who he goes to for advice, the person in his past that was in the same place he was. He knows his identity isn’t Rose Quartz for sure, but he doesn’t know what he believes he is anymore.

- Steven himself refuses to let anyone see he’s hurting, but as his signs become more visible and more destructive they become harder to repress. At the same time, he has succeeded in repressing multiple problems (related to how pink’s identity/his identity keeps being tied to him, his pink form that is fueled by anger) in the present and managed to do so in the past. His trauma is starting to manifest in more harmful ways and even Amethyst’s (to be fair, quite lighthearted suggestion/joke) about her becoming his therapist basically goes over deaf ears. Sure, episode 2 ends with a gem being satisfied with him trying to help, but that doesn’t solve the problem that he’s finding it harder and harder to only put on a positive face.

- Steven doesn’t want to become pink but some of the things learned in volleyball are a direct parallel to what he’s starting to reflect, even as he desperately tries to scramble away from it. Pink pearl mentions that Pink has destructive power and steven, trying to deal with everything else, accidentally releases the most amount of destruction he’s dealt since Change Your Mind.

I think these 3 problems are only going to fester more if not addressed (and honestly, Steven probably is going to avoid addressing them because of point 2), and lead to the climax of future.

#steven universe #su #steven universe future #su spoilers #su meta #peachie

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ordinaryschmuck · 3 years

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Top 20 BEST Animated Series of the 2010s-8th Place

It’s funny. Four years ago, there was no doubt in my mind that this show would easily make the top five best-animated series in the last decade. But the more it went on, the more...controversial it got. However, despite all the hate this next series has been getting recently, I still believe that there’s something to be desired within it.

#8-Steven Universe/Steven Universe: Future (2013-2020)

The Plot: For years, immortal warriors known as the Crystal Gems have been defending the Earth from anything that seeks to do it harm. Until one day when Rose Quartz, the Gems leader, had fallen in love with a human named Greg Universe. From that love, Rose gave up her physical form to bring her son, Steven, into the world she was sworn to protect. Taking guidance from the other Crystal Gems-Garnet, Amethyst, and Pearl-Steven will try his best to grow up into the same warrior that his mom was. But as he learns more about the Gems and his mother, Steven will soon realize that he’ll have to grow up far faster than he thought.

Right out the gate, I should mention there's a 60%-40% chance that you’re either going to love this show or think that it’s pure garbage. And honestly, I believe it all depends on perspective. Like the quality of most shows, the enjoyment depends on the viewpoints you chose to take with it. Some people will look at specific decisions as well done, where others will see it all as a mess of storytelling. For instance, one person can make a two-hour-long video about how Steven Universe is garbage, and another person can make a video arguing about how it isn’t. Everyone has different reasons why they like or hate something. If you genuinely hate Steven Universe or think you might not like it, that's perfectly fine. I just hope you’ll give me the chance to explain why I personally enjoy it, and why I think it deserves all the adulation it has.

For instance, the main thing I really enjoy about Steven Universe is its style. From the designs, to the animation, to even the music. Everything about how Steven Universe both looks and sounds leave me awestruck. First is the show’s designs of both the backgrounds and characters. Nearly every part of the world in the series looks absolutely amazing, fitting seeing how the Crystal Gems fought for Earth due to its beauty. There are also times when lore and backstory can be seen through the backgrounds, giving some fantastic utilization of visual storytelling. Such as when the Crystal Gems visit war zones and temples that they’ve spent years fighting in, showing hidden secrets that can make much more sense by later episodes. As for the character designs, they all look pretty good. Each character has a dynamic and unique style, making them all fun to look at. It’s even better when the character’s personalities are shown throughout their entire designs. I especially love how the artists managed to get creative with how real life crystals (lapices, bismuths, and jaspers) will look like people when designing the Crystal Gems and their enemies. However, I should first mention that Steven Universe is another show where the art style depends on who’s storyboarding the scene. While not as bad as OK KO: Let’s Be Heroes, it can be pretty distracting given how character sizes and proportions are inconsistent. Regardless, I still like how good the designs look for a majority of the characters. And at a practical standpoint, I think it’s great that the artists kept the figures as simple as possible as it makes animating the characters a lot easier.

Speaking of which, I really like how Steven Universe is animated. It’s not entirely groundbreaking like The Amazing World of Gumball’s or as fluid as Wander Over Yonder’s, but the animation in Steven Universe is still pretty dang good. The characters' movements look believable, and the expressions each one makes is downright amazing to see. It gets more aspiring for the show’s fight scenes. You can almost feel each punch, jab, and slash that the characters trade with each other, and the fights themselves are pretty fun to watch. As for the action itself, Steven Universe might just have the most creative action set pieces I’ve seen from any animated series. Case in point, there is an entire fight scene that’s also a fantastic song at the same time.

On the topic of songs, let the record show that showrunner Rebecca Sugar really understands music. I say this because Steven Universe has some really great music in it. From background music to full-on musical numbers, this show proves how important melodies are in a series. Look at the background music, as it not only does a suitable job at making audiences feel the right emotions but also sounds really good when isolated. As for the character motifs, each note perfectly encapsulates the character's personality that it’s meant for. Like Pearl, who has a piano melody to show off her classy and orderly personality, and Peridot, who has a more 8-bit tune to her leitmotif as a way to show off her tech side. And since we branched into talking about 8-bit, there are times when this show’s soundtrack sounds like it belongs in a really cool video game (Google Lion’s and Obsidian's themes if you don’t believe me). As for the actual songs in the show, Steven Universe has a pretty good selection. As they can be beautiful and downright awesome to listen to. And even though the show uses songs to develop the characters and story, these musical numbers can still be pretty fun to listen to on their own, with no context (most of the time).

But while a show's style is essential, it’s the substance that truly matters. And here is where we go back to the discussion of perspective. To some viewers, you might think that the substance in Steven Universe is handled well, where others...Well, I think it’s pretty obvious how they might feel.

Let’s look at the story because Steven Universe actually has an intriguing and compelling story...Or at least it does when it tries to eventually tell that story. Whether you’re a person who either loves or hates the series, everyone can agree that the slice of life episodes are easily the show’s weakest. Personally, I don’t mind them, and that’s because I view these episodes as giving me a choice between eating a chocolate cake or a carrot. The story-driven episodes are a chocolate cake. Their sweet, delicious, and I’m always craving more after just having one piece. As for the slice of life episodes, they’re like carrots. I can eat a carrot. I can digest a carrot. I might even enjoy a carrot. Hell, there are times when I’m willing to ask for another carrot. But if you’re going to give me the decision of a carrot over a chocolate cake, then I’m always going to pick the chocolate cake. Even if I enjoy episodes like “Laser Light Cannon," “Too Short to Ride," and “Alone Together," they can never hold a candle to “Jail Break," “Reunited," and “Change Your Mind." This is because the slice of life episodes give off a sense of distraction from the main story. After all, they rarely add anything new (read: meaningful) to the tale. And going back to the carrot and chocolate cake analogy, there’s one aspect that doesn’t do the slice of life episodes any favors. You see, where most shows feel like you have to eat the carrots before having the chocolate cake, half the time Steven Universe feels like you can skip most of the carrots and go straight for the chocolate cake instead. And Steven Universe isn’t the only show to try this. In fact, tomorrow I’ll be talking about a show that perfected this idea. But tomorrow's series manages to make both the story and slice of life episode the chocolate cake instead of the carrot. And it has everything to do with the fact that the characters care about the situation they’re in. There are actual moments in the show where Crystal Gems refuse to participate in everyday antics because they simply don’t think those antics are worth their time. Which is something you never want to do. Because if the characters don’t care, then why should the audience? Speaking of the characters--

I want it to be known that I like the majority of the characters in Steven Universe. Greg, Connie, Peridot, Amethyst, and Garnet are all enjoyable to watch in their own way. Not only is their development on point, but their personalities are all likable, and their issues are also relatable. It’s three other characters that things get a little iffy. Those characters being Steven, Pearl, Bismuth and Lapis. If you ask me, I like these characters, and I think it’s fun to study/analyze their personalities. However, these characters make decisions that audiences are either going to hate or love. It’s sort of like that optical illusion of the old lady/young lady (Google it). Some people can see the ugly old hag, where others will see the beautiful young woman. You’re most likely going to see one or the other, and it isn’t until someone else points out what you couldn’t notice that you are capable of seeing both. It’s something very similar to Steven, Pearl, Bismuth and Lapis. One response is that you’re either going to see characters who are selfless heroes that are victims of circumstance. The other is seeing toxic idiots who cause more harm than good to the people they love.

And then there are the people of Beach City. These are mostly hated by both fans and critics of the show. Personally, I don’t hate most of them. Don’t get me wrong, characters like Lars and Ronaldo deserve every ounce of hate they are given (Although Lars does get better). As for the rest of the Beach Citizens, I don’t think they are that bad of characters. In fact, I think they’re good characters placed in the wrong show. Some of them have issues that most people deal with (Sadie, in most of her episodes), where others seem to be slightly layered and almost intriguing (Mr. Smiley and Onion in “Future Boy Zoltron” and “Onion Gang”). In fact, if these characters were a part of a different series, I’m sure people will be more willing to watch their struggles. It's just compared to the Crystal Gems and company, the people of Beach City are not as interesting to watch or dissect. And because of this, the show drags down to a screeching halt whenever it focuses on these characters.

And the most controversial element of these characters is (semi-spoilers ahead) when the show tries to pull off redemption arcs. Steven Universe seems to work off the logic that nobody is evil, just misunderstood. There’s both a right way and a wrong way of illustrating that logic, and Steven Universe, unfortunately, does it the wrong way. And the best way for me to describe how to do this idea is to use the game Undertale as an example (I’d warn you about spoilers, but odds are you already know everything about that game). In Undertale, you play a character who fell into an underground prison full of monsters, and you have to find your way back to the surface. The monsters you run into give the impression that they’re dangerous and want to destroy you (or at least most of them do). However, the game allows the player to interact with the world and characters around them, soon discovering that the monsters are more complex than one might think. In fact, the game allows you to actually interact with monsters who tried to kill you, showing the logic and reasoning as to why. By the end of Undertale, you learn that every character you encounter is not the villains in the story, but rather victims of a war that forced them away from the surface. Steven Universe has a similar idea but fails to do it properly. All it reveals is that the villains have done bad things, realize that they’ve done wrong, and decide to have an out of nowhere change of heart by the end. The problem is that except for one character, the turnarounds don’t feel earned. Instead, they feel forced than anything else.

These elements are what make Steven Universe slightly controversial to enjoy.

(And also the ridiculous amount of hiatuses. But that’s not really an issue I have with the show, but the network running it.)

But if there is one thing I hope we all can agree on, both the pessimistic and forgiving, I think it’s safe to say that the best thing about Steven Universe is how important it is for the LGBTQ+ community. There may have been kids' shows in the past that hinted at same-sex relationships and they deserve some respect as well. But I'd say it’s Steven Universe that popularized the idea with the characters Ruby and Saphire. Not only are these two downright adorable together, but they also manage to be enjoyable characters on their own (Even though it isn’t often you see them apart, but their personalities still shine through). And I’m willing to make the argument that it’s because of these two why children’s animation is less afraid, but still cautious, of being explicit with having same-sex couples. Like I said, most shows decide to hint at these relationships, so they don't get in trouble for doing so. Nowadays? Most of Cartoon Network’s series seem to have more gay relationships than most children’s networks in recent memory. Nickelodeon allowed The Loud House to have gay parents in a children's cartoon, and one of the main characters being canonically bisexual. Hell, even Disney is currently taking steps in the right direction with their smash hit called The Owl House. Now, more than ever, kids can learn at an early age that gay relationships are more than just acceptable, but they’re also completely normal and should be accepted as such. And I’m more than willing to give Steven Universe credit for giving this trend the push that it needed, like other creators for these shows usually point fingers at it as well.

Is Steven Universe a perfect show? No. But that doesn’t mean I think it’s garbage. There are some legitimate faults that this series has, some of which I’m inclined to agree with. But with all the good it does and how much fun people have while watching it, I can’t really say I hate this series. If you think you’ll hate this show, you have every right to. I can’t change how you feel, but I can ask you to keep an open mind. Because who knows? You might be someone who will find the diamond in the rough of this series.

(Now that’s a pun you’ll be willing to appreciate by the time you reach season 5).

#top 20 of the 2010s #steven universe #steven universe future #what i thought about

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ice-cream-nekogirl · 4 years

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would it matter at all? (Spinel X Reader)

Funny how these feelings of depression just hit you so suddenly eh? One minute you’re fine and the next the tears are coming and you’re trying to keep them back and just pretend like you’re okay for others? Yeah... it’s that kinda night for me... I wish I had my own Spinel... I understand her pain...

So I wrote this when I should have been doing something more productive but I had to just do this. I had to write for this lovely gem that I’ve grown to adore and would die for.

Warning: Some intrusive thoughts and implied suicidal thoughts as well so reader discretion is advised.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=82hLvgGuDu8

If I wasn't here tomorrow would anybody care If my time was up I'd wanna know You were happy I was there

The past exists just to hurt the present person you are today. That’s how you always saw it at least.

There was one person who understood that the most though, and that was the new gem that had come into your life. At first you didn’t trust her, she tried to kill your friends, including one of your best friends Steven. And yet, you were amazed that the sweet boy was able to get her to stop what she was doing through a series of mishaps and helping the gems rediscover themselves, for better or worse.

You helped him the entire time, and reflected on your own life before you met Steven. Unlike Pearl, Amethyst and Garnet, you didn’t enjoy rediscovering the person you became today, because you still didn’t like yourself.

Beach City was a good place, but the place you came from before this wasn’t. It felt like you were the only person in the world because you knew you were different from everyone, and they made sure to remind you of it everyday. You felt worthless, rejected and cast out from the others and you actually believed that maybe you deserved it, maybe you shouldn’t have even been here.

At times you started to wonder, would it even matter if you disappeared? Would anything you did from here on out matter at all?

You wondered that, at least until the gem, Spinel was her name, had showed the person she used to be. A sweet, lovely little gem that you found extremely endearing every time she tried to play with you. She actually made you smile as you would giggle and blush whenever she got so close and playfully poked you to try and play a game with you. How could such a murderous clown be such a little sweetheart?

That’s what made you really wonder, but then you got your answers when she started to remember and reveal her backstory, her time in the garden after Pink Diamond… just left her there. For all those millenia, the poor gem stood there, alone and waiting for the person she thought was her friend…

Your heart broke for her, you wept for her as she reformed back to the same, maniacal gem that tried to kill you and Steven. Except she wasn’t just a maniacal gem, she was a broken, self-loathing individual that you saw yourself a lot in. She didn’t deserve what Pink did to her, and you knew that she hated the person she became, you knew that because you hated the person you became too after people hurt you…

But you didn’t want to fight her anymore, you wanted to reach out to her when Steven failed to get through to her for a moment.

“I know what it’s like! I understand what you’ve been through!” You exclaimed after she decided that no, she didn’t want to hurt Steven anymore. She looked up, eyes wide but her expression still had disbelief on it as her eyes narrowed into a scowl.

“How could you know? How could know anything like that?! You’re just some stupid human! Worse than even this loser…” She was skeptical, and you understood why, because you didn’t know who else could understand the feeling of being abandoned.

A sardonic chuckle left your lips, “You’re right… I AM a stupid human…” You almost weren’t offended by her insult though, nor were you deterred by the hateful look in her eyes. “I understand… because I used to be a happier person… I used to smile all the time and I can’t even remember why… but when I got older… I stopped… people just… didn’t want to be around me… I knew they didn’t… they looked at me like I was some kind of weirdo… and they just left… I was all by myself for a really long time…” Tears sprung to your eyes as you recollected the way you dramatically changed from a happy child to a moody young adult as Steven glanced at you sympathetically. He knew your story all too well, and honestly you thought that if it wasn’t for him, you’d probably be somewhere else… not with him or the gems and Connie and Greg…

The pink gem’s glare gradually softened into a mix of shock and confusion, her eyes widening slightly when she heard your words telling a story that were making her feel some type of way that she didn’t understand. All she could understand, was the pain in your voice and your eyes as you wiped the tears away even as they fell.

“I know your pain Spinel… I really do… I mean… 10 years is nothing compared to 5000 years but… I understand… what it’s like to feel… unwanted and… abandoned…” You mumbled with your eyes downcast as Spinel seemed to rethink more on what she really wanted to do after listening to you and Steven…

No. She didn’t want to destroy this planet anymore…

And you couldn’t lie, you were relieved when she and Steven were able to make the injector stop from destroying the planet. Maybe you didn’t want to die today, not when you had friends like Steven, Connie, Pearl, Amethyst, Garnet and Greg still around. You’d live for their sakes…

Yet, you couldn’t get Spinel out of your mind even as she went along with the Diamonds. Your [E/C] eyes welled with tears when she joined the Diamonds when they decided to take her in and you rushed over next to Steven when they shared a good bye peace sign.

If I wasn't here tomorrow would anyone lose sleep If I wasn't hard and hollow Then maybe you would miss me

“Spinel!” You refused to cry, but you couldn’t help as you sniffled and waved your arm out to wave. “Take care! Come back whenever okay?! I want to… be your friend when you decide to come back!!” As tears dripped down your cheeks you made yourself grin as you waved vigorously to the stunned gem.

Her pink eyes going wide as a soft gasp left her, focusing entirely on you as you turned smaller and smaller from where she was at. A small blush sporting onto her streaked cheeks as she looked at you, and you were smiling at her. The human who could understand what she had felt…

You wanted to be her friend…?

She couldn’t even find the words as all she could do was stare and watch you wave with a broken smile and misty eyes with the tears down your cheeks. Spinel didn’t even realize the tears in her own eyes as she picked up her hand to wave back at you, still looking surprised and confused…

Why would you want to be her friend even after all of that…?

TWO WEEKS LATER

Although it had been a while since the entire incident that nearly ended in the world ending and you started to think that you probably should have been surprised that you survived yet another semi-apocalypse. But after the gems invading several times you remembered that had learned to get used to the world almost ending. Except unlike all of those other times, you couldn’t stop thinking about that gem. She wasn’t like the other gems, not even Lapis, a gem you had considered a dear friend.

Spinel was different. From the moment you saw what had happened to her, something tugged at your heart and made you realize that she wasn’t the only person who felt so rejected and discarded from people you just wanted to be with. You lied in your bed under your covers, remembering the way the pink gem would giggle and smile at you before she reformed back to the person she was today. Her innocence reminded you so much of who you used to be, and it was almost too painful to think about…

To have that childhood happiness shattered by the cruelty from another person, and to become a bitter, almost hateful person because of that pain being too much to bear. It fucking hurt…

You hurt just thinking about what kind of pain Spinel must have endured just waiting in that garden for someone who was never going to come back. What if she never got that message and just stood there forever? God you didn’t want to think about it…

You almost wished she was here so you could hug her and tell her that she didn’t deserve that, and that she deserved to be happy. But at the same time, you thought you were kidding yourself. Why would Spinel remember you? You weren’t anything special, she said so herself, you were just a stupid human.

Hell, you were lucky that Steven was kind enough to give you the time of day. Why would Spinel do the same?

Sighing and wiping your eyes you tried to go to sleep, but then you gasped aloud when you thought you heard something outside. Your parents were home, but they slept so deeply you were certain that not even an earthquake would wake them up. Then again, even if they did wake up, it’s not like you couldn’t handle yourself.

Well, you couldn’t really handle yourself well, but you didn’t care about yourself. At this point nothing mattered about you at all. And you told yourself that almost every day.

So you peered out your window to see if it was maybe just the wind, but your eyes went wide when you saw her…

Spinel, standing outside in your backyard with Steven accompanying her and pointing up when he had seen you. Wide eyes met as you gasped quietly. She looked just as shocked as you did, but she perked up when she saw your visage leave, “W-Where’d she go…?” She asked Steven almost nervously as he chuckled.

“Don’t worry she’s coming down.” He could tell you were excited, because he was very observant when it came to people. And he knew that Spinel had been on your mind the whole time, so he was more than happy to lead Spinel to your house when she came for a visit and asked about ‘the human with the [H/C] hair and [E/C] eyes’.

And her worries were put to rest when she saw you open that door, clad in just your (F/C) pajamas with a big smile on your face. “Spinel!” You exclaimed rather quietly, running over to her as her eyes widened slowly in shock at how close you were getting before you stopped right in front of her.

She looked a bit defensive, as if she wasn’t certain how to react to your excitement to see her. The diamonds treated her well and were in fact very good to her, but it’s been a long time since she’s seen that kind of joy directed at her. In fact, usually that’s what she had done in the past to… her…

“Hi… you’re that human.” Spinel remembered you, which secretly surprised you. “(Y/N) right?” She asked to clarify, and heat rose on your cheeks when she said your name for the first time. “Uh huh… that’s me.” An awkward smile came to your lips, something Spinel couldn’t help but mimic since she felt just as awkward as you did.

Something Steven immediately picked up with a small grin, “I’ll just leave you two be for the time being okay? I hope you’re having a good night (Y/N).” He knew when to leave two people alone and you perked up, feeling rather terrible that you forgot that Steven was there. “O-Oh! Thank you… s-sorry Steven…” You apologized to him sheepishly but he wasn’t offended in the slightest.

“It’s no problem! Spinel wanted to see you again, and I was happy to help.” He said cheerfully as he waved to the two of you, not subtly winking at Spinel as she was taken aback slightly at this gesture. And you blushed a little bit harder at such a thought, she wanted to see you again?

“You wanted to see me again?” You were so shocked you didn’t even realize what you had asked, and Spinel’s eyes widened even more as a flustered expression overcame her features. “W-Well uh… I… yeah… yeah I suppose…”

She felt strange. She hadn’t really felt this curious about anyone, not even Pink Diamond. She knew Pink Diamond, and she knew that she was her playmate, and other gems were just fun to play with too because they were all neat looking. You were different. You weren’t a gem, you were a human being and yet your feelings weren’t that different from the feelings gems could feel.

And your feelings apparently weren’t that different from Spinel’s own feelings. Which is what really made her curious.

“Let’s… sit on my bench… it’s… more comfortable.” You couldn’t get rid of the corny smile on your lips as you gave her the offer, “Oh… thanks…” She couldn’t turn it down though as you lead her to your bench, allowing the two of you to sit down.

It was uncomfortably silent for at least 5 minutes, but you didn’t know what to say. Which was ironic because she’s all you could think about for the past couple of weeks. Why the hell couldn’t you say anything now?! Come on (Y/N)!

“So… um…” You started off, badly though. It wasn’t even a damn sentence…

“So…” And you were sure your uncomfortable energy was rubbing off on Spinel since she couldn’t quite muster up a sentence herself.

No. You couldn’t be an idiot. You sucked it up, exhaled and then cleared your throat a little bit. “I’m… glad to see you again.” Finally, you said something that actually made sense and was an actual sentence. “You are?” But this confused Spinel, since she knew she didn’t make the best first impression by trying to hurt you and Steven.

“Yeah.” You replied simply with a smile and shrugged your shoulders. “Why?” The gem asked you somewhat bluntly though, trying not to look amused by the simplicity of your response.

“I liked you. You were… an interesting gem… and… don’t tell the other gems but you’re actually more interesting than any of them…” A little snicker left you as you covered your mouth, feeling kind of bad for putting the other gems down like that but Spinel really did interest you. This further surprised her though, her eyes wide with shock because even after all of that, how did you still like her even a little bit.

WHY did you like her?

I know I'm a mess and I wanna be someone Someone that I'd like better I can never forget, so don't remind me of it forever

“Why?” She asked bluntly again, a wry smile on her lips. “I tried to kill you. I tried to kill Steven. Tried to destroy the earth. Why do you like me?” For a minute there, she swore that you probably liked her old self better, because she remembered having a lot of fun with you before the past came back to her…

“Is it my old self that you liked?” Spinel’s tone became a little bit colder, yet the sadness was still there. “I’m flattered… but that’s not me anymore… I wish it was but… it’s not me. I haven’t even pulled myself together yet either…” She looked down, her gloved fists starting to clench as she tried to hold back the anger bubbling in her. Not at Rose, but at herself. She still hated the person she was, and she hated that you were here, telling her that you liked her.

There’s no way you could like something like her…

“Of course I liked your old self.”

She knew. She fucking knew it. God she wanted to cry and feel betrayed all over again so she could get away and not have to be hurt again, but you didn’t stop talking.

“Because you remind me of me when I was a kid.” You smiled ruefully and looked in the distance. “I smiled a lot before I started growing up. I was so happy… so eager to impress my peers. I wanted nothing more than to feel included, and feel like I was someone’s friend.” As you talked, Spinel looked at you intently as she took in all of your words and the feelings behind them. The feelings that Spinel still had lingering in her even after Pink Diamond. That’s exactly what she felt like, all she wanted was to be a friend.

“I did everything… everything I could to impress them and make them happy, even if it meant not doing what I wanted… I just… wanted that so badly.” Your smile was still there, but it was clear to the gem that you weren’t happy at all.

“And then… the older I got… the more I started to realize… I’m not what people want… I’m nothing more than an amusement at best.” However, the more you thought about the past, the more your smile started to curve into a soft frown. “And some people didn’t even like me at all… they avoided me just so they could be amongst themselves and kept me out of their picture… I didn’t realize it til later that I wasn’t anyone’s friend, I was just… nothing.”

A small, empty chuckle left you as you wiped your eyes when tears were threatening to fall as Spinel looked at you in shock, feeling more feelings that she had never felt for anyone else other than herself. She was angry, hurt and unable to believe that this happened to you, you seemed like a decent person, why did those people avoid you?

“Those… those…!” Spinel couldn’t help it, she shook her head as her fists trembled, “I… I hate that!” She exclaimed as you jumped a bit, not wanting her to wake your parents but you didn’t really want to set her off any further. “I hate it when people do that… it’s… why…? Why are they so cruel like that…?”

She asked you questions that you asked yourself everyday in your moments of solitude as you put your hand on her shoulder. “I don’t know… I ask myself that all the time and I can never find the answers.” You gave a sigh as you looked downwards. “But… I know this sounds selfish of me but… I… I couldn’t help but like you because I understood you…” You admitted, no shyness in your tone, just honesty despite how sad you were.

“I used to be happy… until life and people started to kick me… and push me aside like something that didn’t matter at all… I know… that’s probably how you felt… and I just… I hated hearing what Pink did to you… you didn’t deserve it Spinel… you’re a good gem… I don’t know why Pink had to go and hurt you like that…” Voice cracking you squeezed your shoulder as gobs of tears started to stream down your face as you shut your eyes, unable to see the tears welling in Spinel’s eyes as she tried to hold it all back.

Steven was the only other person who took pity on her, but hearing another person tell her that NO, she didn’t deserve what happened to her… was like some kind of validation that she didn’t know she needed to hear until right now this very moment.

But at the same time, it made her feel even worse when she thought about how she still hurt you and tried to bring more hurt to you when she first fought you and Steven as she cried. “But I’m NOT a good gem! I had to have deserved it! I hurt you! And Steven! You can’t tell me I didn’t deserve that! Not when I was the one who hurt you when you didn’t deserve that… or what they did to you… you didn’t deserve that at all…” She hung her head as she wept for you, and all you could do was watch her in shock as a sob hitched in your breath.

“S-Spinel…”

You were touched by her sympathy, and how she seemed to genuinely care about her feelings. No one other than Steven and Lapis have ever really cared about your feelings, but Spinel… she understood you more…

“I don’t know…” You couldn’t fight the self-deprecation though, it was a horrible trait you picked up on the older you got and realized that maybe you were avoided because there was something wrong with you.

What if I just pulled myself together Would it matter at all? What if I just tried not to remember Would it matter at all? All the chances that have passed me by Would it matter if I gave it one more try Would it matter at all?

“Maybe I deserved it too…” Spinel gasped when she heard you say that, no, no you couldn’t have believed that. “I mean… you’re great but… I’m not… I’m a loser… I sit in my room all day, watch anime for the sake of comfort, and listen to music by Lana Del Ray, My Chemical Romance and Stevie Nicks, and write bullshit stories for god’s sake… if I wasn’t here today it probably wouldn’t even matter. I might as well not even exist… who knows? Maybe I’m just better off gone because I don’t think anyone would even care… I’ve thought about it… but never could go with it…” You admitted some of your darker thoughts as your eyes started to dull with the misery you’ve carried around the past 10 years of your life and maybe even longer than that.

Of course Spinel wasn’t familiar with the concepts but all she knew is that no, she didn’t want you to disappear. “No! You can’t… You have to be here…” Her voice croaked a little bit as she grabbed your shoulders, “If you weren’t here… I wouldn’t have gotten to hear you say that I didn’t deserve what happened to me… even though I think I did… if you just disappeared or went away I would care (Y/N)! I… I would care… it matters to me! It would matter to me!” She sobbed to you and held onto your shoulders tighter as if she was trying to make sure that you were still here.

She didn’t know you well, but she wanted to. And she didn’t want you to leave.

You had never opened up about this sorrow to anyone before though, Spinel was the first person you completely opened up to. She was the only one who knew about what you were really feeling, and you were almost relieved that she didn’t quite understand the deeper parts of what you tried to say.

However, hearing her say those words were comfort to you as you sobbed and you couldn’t help but pull her into a hug. “I’m… glad to hear that someone would…” You shakily said in between soft cries as she sniffled. “You’re… you’re not bad (Y/N)… if you think… I’m a good person… I don’t know why you do but… thank you… please… you’re really here right? If you are… I’m glad… that someone else knows what it’s like…” Spinel almost sounded shy as she admitted to this newfound happiness she couldn’t help but feel talking more about what happened to her.

“I am… and… I hope you’re here too… Spinel I really like you… I missed you… I wanted to get to know you more… so… I meant what I asked… would you like to… be my friend…?” That’s what you wanted to ask her, despite these other feelings in your stomach that were flurrying about as your cheeks turned hot.

Spinel was hugging you, stretchy arms around you tightly as she perked up at the question, and she looked up at you with surprise in those rather adorable pink eyes of hers. She was a bit hesistant and yet she felt like she could really trust you, so she gave you a little smile.

“Yes… I want to be your friend too (Y/N)…” She answered you slowly, but sincerely as she nodded up at you. (E/C) eyes widening as you beamed and you tightly hugged her again, earning a small surprised squeak from her, but she couldn’t help but hug you just as tightly. Even stretching her arms even more all around your figure like a snake almost as you gasped with wide eyes as she pulled herself away with a goofy smile.

The two of you bursting into laughter through your tears as you actually felt like there was this weight inside of you that had been slowly lifted off of you. This was the first time you felt actually happy, and the first time you’ve laughed in a long time and it was because of this sweet gem.

She did bad things yes, but she was broken too, and you understood that completely. And she understood that about you too. As the two of you pulled away, you couldn’t help but put your hand in hers as she looked up at you, a blush on her streaked cheeks as she locked her fingers with yours and smiled at you.

Warmly you blushed brightly with an equally bright smile on your face.

You knew that you truly did matter. You mattered to your friends and your family. And you mattered to her, and she mattered to you. Spinel knew this too, after everything she had been through, she finally learned that she really did matter to the new people she accepted into her life. She mattered to you, and you mattered to her too.

Both of you did, both of you mattered.

And YOU matter too. To anyone who read this, if you have any suicidal thoughts, or have had suicidal thoughts or even just need someone to talk to about intrusive thoughts or just need to talk to someone about anything don’t hesitate to call 1-800-273-6255, the Suicide Hotline.

And remember that your life is important and that your life matters. YOU matter.

#spinel x reader #steven universe spinel #su spinel #spinel #su x reader #steven universe x reader #steven universe #su #spinel angst #spinel is babey #spinel imagines #spinel appreciation #spinel needs a hug #spinel deserves better #spinel headcanons #1 800 273 8255 #spinel x fem reader #reader insert #i love spinel

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fermented-writers-block · 4 years

Text

With the recent developments in Mr. Universe and Fragments, I couldn’t help but be reminded of an old thought I came up with several months ago, back when the fandom thought that Steven’s pink mode was simply a heightened emotional state of some kind, and even though we know now that it actually is a stress response reaction, I can’t help but think it might still be applicable here to Steven’s current situation.

TLDR: Over the course of the series, Steven’s views of his mother had fallen and continued to fall very far away from its original pedestal due to the sheer barrage of harsh realities and troubling secrets constantly being upended and revealed, and the shifts in how he has felt about his mother’s legacy seems to tell a very interesting story. One of a long, rocky uphill battle against a mountain of expectations, and a sudden, sharp plunge into a ravine of self-loathing before finding one’s way out of the darkness.

When the original series first started, he looked up to Rose Quartz the protector of Earth, seeing her as the always kindhearted and perfect person whose legacy he felt like he had to live up to. He tried so very hard to be more loving and thoughtful like Greg and the Gems had told him Rose had been like thus far into the show - like he felt they expected him to be if he wanted to stay useful and thus someone they would actually keep around like In Dreams suggests - and he struggled with his constant failures to match up with such an impossible image, potentially even as early into the show as Laser Light Cannon with his desperate pleading for the titular weapon to work.

In the middle of the original series, as he heard more intimate stories about what Rose was really like in person from his family, found out about Bismuth’s bubbling, and had to be told by a stranger that his mother, someone he had been led to believe had always promoted peace, apparently shattered someone, his image of Rose the flawless hero turned into that of Rose the liar with an unknowable amount of secrets that hurt his family immensely.

He struggled with the question of whether Rose had made him for some untold grand plan, and he felt like he had to take care of the messes that she left behind, putting such a burdensome expectation on himself even though the Gems no longer expected him to be more like his mother. This culminated in I Am My Mom with his attempt to save his family from harm by resigning himself to sacrificing himself and atoning for his mother’s sins.

For the end of the original series, Pearl’s revelation that Rose Quartz and Pink Diamond were the same person the entire time finally gave Steven a fuller picture of Rose the person, someone who was flawed and still had positive qualities, someone who tried very hard to become a better person. He felt like he had really found his space with the Crystal Gems, and they expected him to be himself.

And yet, with the strange and inexplicable glimpses of Pink Diamond’s memories as well as White Diamond's existential questions either inspiring or bringing such a thought to the front of his mind, Steven struggled with the fear that his mother was still alive somewhere deep within his consciousness, and that ‘Steven’ the person had just been a lie the entire time.

Post CYM and another of his mother’s secrets coming back to haunt him with Spinel, Steven had stopped worrying about who he isn’t. He now knows for certain that he’s not his mother, that she isn’t living in some dormant part of his gem ready to take back control.

But after years of trying to live up to the ideal of Rose the protector, fixing the mistakes of Rose the liar, and doing better than Rose the person with the way he pushed himself to help others, he now worries about - if there’s no one else left to help but himself - who and what Steven Universe is like if he isn’t his mother.

We’ve seen him struggle to deal with this identity crisis in Little Homeschool and Little Graduation, pushing himself to solve problems that he either couldn’t find a working solution towards or likely projected onto others out of desperation from his anxieties over being left behind.

He expects himself to already do better, already help better, already be better than all of this. His approach of putting other’s problems above his own has worked before, so he shouldn’t be failing if he’s still doing the same thing he’s done before, but with every inevitable misstep and every doubling down on trying to be more like he expects himself to be and failure, the more those expectations feel impossible to ever actually meet.

I’ve been a longtime follower of the Worm Theory ever since @novantinuum made the first post that really kicked things off for it, and soon after Volleyball aired, a thought had occurred to me in light of Steven’s attempt at managing Amethyst’s program.

With Steven’s expression from his cracked reflection at the Reef, I couldn’t help but wonder if Steven might develop the fear that - while he isn’t his mother - he might just be becoming like his mother, and especially in regards to her flaws and repeating her mistakes.

Let me be clear, I didn’t and still don’t think that the stress from such a fear would be even remotely close to being a major instigator for Steven to become the creature from the intro from his pink mode stress response, but with these newest episodes - particularly the ending to Fragments - it has felt like all of this had come to a head for Steven, and that we’ll soon see one of the actual instigating fears for his transformation in the finale.

In the promo, Steven looks like he’s trying to assure himself that he isn’t a shatterer, trying to reaffirm what he knows about himself in the wake of his accident with Jasper, but with the shot of him clearly leaving Jasper and the Gems behind, I feel that Steven may be struggling with the fear that he’s become like his mother there.

Or rather, the (apparent) reality that he’s become “WORSE” than her.

Even with all the horrible secrets she kept, Rose Quartz and Pink Diamond had never shattered anyone, and yet here Steven is, having done exactly that.

Never mind the fact that it was an accident, never mind that he is still the same kind and loving person at heart, never mind that he deeply regrets what he did, Steven’s sense of identity has been crumbling for a good while now with losing what he defined his life by in his ability to help people, and the fact that he had shattered someone and that said someone immediately acknowledged him as their Diamond could disintegrate nearly all of what sense of identity he has left.

These last few episodes, Steven’s mental health has been on a nasty decline in struggling with feeling like he either can’t rely on his support structure in Greg and the Gems for advice with his problems or that his support structures in Connie and his friends are drifting away, and because of this and how he might feel about himself after what happened with Jasper, the only place he may feel like he should be is on Homeworld.

Steven has put so much weight on himself to be a good person, to be better than his mother and all the horrible things she did, that this might just feel like a confirmation that he isn’t a good person, that even Rose was a better person than him despite the stuff she failed spectacularly at. There’s no more expectations to live up to on top of him, only what he really is now.

He had abandoned his human side in Mr. Universe, and now all that’s left is his gem side - that is, his Diamond side.

Or at least, that’s how it’d likely seem to him.

It’d feel like the only point of support and belonging he has left is with the other Diamonds, as the one thing Rose wasn’t and tried desperately not to be in the end was a Diamond herself, and he may feel like he should just embrace his place since he’s “just as bad as them.”

Not only that, but he also tried to emulate Jasper’s mentality, coping methods, and appearance in his struggle to find some kind of ‘solution’ for his ‘diamond powers,’ and as such, there’s one final place where he might just be able to get a ‘solution’ - even though there’s no such thing as a full on solution for dealing with trauma.

With that said, while they most likely won’t initially understand or be that concerned with Steven giving up on his humanity to be with them, I can’t help but feel like the Diamonds have changed enough that seeing Steven act “like a Diamond is supposed to” would shake them HARD.

Acting that way had been what hurt themselves and each other for millennia, and they’ve been able to feel happier and create a relatively healthier dynamic between the three of them under Steven’s guidance, so to see Steven turn his back on all of that could make them VERY concerned for him.

It’d put up an unsettlingly ugly mirror in front of the Diamonds to the people they used to be, and that for as much as they may have wanted Steven to be with them, this isn’t what they had in mind at all.

Perhaps that might end in an ironic reversal of what happened at the end of CYM, where instead of denying Steven as individual from his mother and trying to force him to be his mother out of a callous and arrogant kind of love, White acts out of a fuller love and genuine concern for Steven, and in the heat of the moment, accidentally slips back into some old behavior.

“I only want you to be yourself! If you can't do that, I'll do it! For! You!”

But whatever their response may actually be, this could very well be the second to last major tipping point for Steven at the very least, as at that point, EVERY person and place he thought he could turn to for advice or just finally belong to would likely either feel to him like they let him down or that they’re scared of what he feels he’s become.

Not even the Diamonds themselves feel like he belongs with them, and with how he felt like Connie had flat out refused to marry him instead of leaving an opening for them to talk about it later, I can easily see him extrapolating from the Diamonds’ reactions that he’s become not only worse than his mother, but ALL of the Diamonds.

Of course, the stress and anguish from this fear of himself and what he’s become most probably wouldn’t be the key factor behind him turning into the worm creature, just one of several major stresses that would likely influence such a transformation.

Like @faelapis has discussed, most of the other contributing stresses had already been unbalancing Steven for a long time towards this direction in his tightrope act, and this kind of recent fear would merely be the final gust of wind to finally push Steven off.

As for how Steven could potentially be brought from the brink of this particular fear (since I’m withholding speculation on what the exact other stresses could be until we get there), I can see one way that could help Steven with this and his struggle with holding himself to the standard of always being able to help others.

Mainly, with a potential mixture of something clicking for him to help him fully understand his mother’s choices and the self-loathing that seems to have been behind so much of said choices, and for something to help him with feeling like he’s supposed to always be a hero and fixing things, instead changing it to feeling like he’s a person for whom it’s completely okay to make a mistake, like it’s okay for him to not live up to an impossible ideal.

Like he is a human with both the bad and the good that comes with it.

That just because he has the power to change doesn’t mean that he should pressure himself to never screw up badly even by accident, and that just because he’s capable of screwing up badly even by accident doesn’t mean that he is incapable of learning, growing, and improving afterwards.

Whether this is accomplished through a combination of Greg and the Gems acknowledging how, even though they love him, they’ve messed up badly while raising him, Connie relating to his struggle to push himself to be better with her studies as well as the shared experiences they’ve been through, and some help from all the other countless people he’s helped over the years, I can’t claim to know.

But even though it can feel hard to do, even though it feels like you’ll never be able to pull yourself out of the dark, even though it may feel like you just keep failing over and over and over again, you can still always pick yourself up and change for the better.

#su #su meta #su spoilers #suf spoilers #steven universe #long post

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daylighteclipsed · 4 years

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Yo but can we break down each part of WD’s dialogue during that scene tho??? ‘Cause from “I only want you to be yourself” (when she really doesn’t/doesn’t understand what that means) to “If you can’t do that, I’ll do it for you” (you *literally* CANNOT be someone else for them, nor can they for you, it goes directly against the very definition and concept of self) and even beyond that, hoo boy is there a lot to unpack 😧😧😧

“I only want you to be yourself” *who I think you are *how I think you should be *who I want you to be

“If you can’t (*don’t) do that, I’ll do it for you (*make you)” By literally imposing herself--her beliefs, desires, ideas--on to someone else, erasing that person’s entire self, entire sense of self, stripping them of their agency, their color. It’s pretty obvious what White Diamond is a thinly veiled metaphor for, a bigoted parent, and on a greater scale, societal conformity.

But it’s pretty interesting that RS has said, because WD sees herself as every gem, as this collective of ideals that, in WD’s eyes, equal perfection, which she projects on to gems, sometimes literally; because she spends all her time striving for ‘perfection,’ she has no sense of self. She has no idea who she is as an individual. She exists as a standard, not a person, statuesque with her arms held out, elbows bent at the forearms, stationary in balance and grace. I’m pretty sure Rose’s stone statue in her Fountain is in this exact same position, and no way that’s coincidence. That illusion of perfection, Rose reduced to a standard, a belief, a symbol. When you strive for perfection you lose everything that makes you human. When Steven cracks WD’s pedestal--no, even before that. When he refuses to let her control him, he forces her out of her perfect position, out of her perfect smile, her perfectly pleasant voice. Suddenly there’s passion. There’s fury. Her facade is cracking. Her pedestal is cracking. She’s not a statue. She’s a person. Bratty. Stubborn. Uncertain. Embarrassed. She blushes like a human. Because in many ways, like many of the Gems we see and get to know, she is. Gotta love submitting to the mortifying ordeal of being known.

I think it’s particularly brilliant that WD takes over Pearl, Garnet, and Amethyst during Steven’s confrontation with her and that we specifically get a shot of White speaking this line through them: “I only want you to be yourself!” The Gems have long abandoned this rhetoric, but for a while there they wanted Steven to be who they wanted too, Rose, and Steven has constantly felt that pressure to meet their expectations, that standard that Rose had come to represent, and the show really spends the entire story deconstructing this idea of Rose as a standard by humanizing her. And I’m too lazy to add pics and research rn, but there’s this quote on the wiki I love. I think its from RS and it’s like ‘Steven has to realize it’s impossible to fill his mother’s shoes. She’s always been barefoot.’ And that’s it, man, that’s what it’s all about, there’s never been these shoes to fill. Rose’s pedestal is an illusion. WD’s pedestal is an illusion. Perfection doesn’t exist. To be flawed is to be human, and all that matters is that you’re happy with who you are. Steven’s fusion dance with himself is him sticking it to White, to the Diamonds as a whole, to the pressure the Gems had unintentionally put on him, even to gems that wanted him to be Rose for bad reasons like revenge. Sorry to disappoint, but he’s not her, or better yet, he’s not this image they have of her. Never has been. Never going to be. And that’s great! The catharsis I feel by simply describing this scene. god. I digress

I think White understands the concept of self in others. She just believes those selves are wrong if they don’t conform to her vision and takes it upon herself to purge them of their perceived imperfections by forcing her ‘self’ on them. “now, they are perfect. now, they are me.” But she has no ‘self’ because she exists as this concept of perfection instead of a person. She doesn’t let herself have a ‘self,’ have flaws, which is why she doesn’t understand herself. When she throws a childish tantrum and is rightfully called out on it by Steven, she doesn’t understand why she did that or why his call-out makes her blush. She immediately assumes there’s something wrong with her when, really, she’s just being human. Steven proves WD’s a person, and she’s forced to reevaluate everything she thought she understood about other gems and herself. She’s not different or better than them, she’s a gem too, has flaws too. She’s an individual, she has a self and now she has to figure out who that is like the Crystal Gems have, and it’s good. SU is good.

#steven universe #su #i may have uhhh gotten a little carried away here #what can i say i like smart writing

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andrewmoocow · 3 years

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Steven Universe: The Fantastic Mutants chapter 6: Frightful Finale (originally posted on April 7, 2021)

AN: It's been far too long since I entered the world of Marvel Gems. What with Steven Universe: Alternate Future, the holiday season and my return to college, I've just kinda got distracted from my big crossover universe. But no longer! I will resolve Fantastic Mutants and maybe get to work on the next stories in this trilogy, no matter the cost.

Also, one disclaimer before we start. My deepest concerns go out to the family of Tom Kane, who I imagined voicing Magneto in here in a reprisal of his role from Marvel vs Capcom 3 and Wolverine & the X-Men. Keep in mind that I came up with the cast long before he had that possibly career-ending stroke. Anyways, let's get a move on at last.

The moment that the Blackbird landed in Doomstadt, the Ultimate Alliance immediately charged to Castle Doom, ready to rescue Steven and stop Doctor Doom & Magneto.

"Hang on Steven, we're coming!" Connie yelled while riding atop Lion. Deadpool was behind her on the big cat, hoisting a boombox over his head that blasted 'I Need A Hero' as the heroes drew closer to the castle.

However, armies of Doombots dropped from the tops of the castle walls to defend their master from the invaders. The robots began firing lasers while setting up protective shields around the entrance to their namesake's palace, to keep them from breaking in.

"Oh great, Doombots." The Thing groaned, but then began getting himself pumped up. "But then again, I've been waiting this whole adventure to say this! Y'all know what time it is?"

"It's only 2:50 pm, Ben. Why?" Pearl answered quizzically.

"Dumbass, he's gonna say the thing!" Deadpool yelled excitedly.

"You got it!" Ben grinned as he turned to the Doombots. "IT'S CLOBBERIN' TIME!" Right off the bat, the ever-lovin' blue-eyed beast began tearing Doombots apart, which excited Amethyst greatly.

"Now this is more my style!" Amethyst cheered, and she joined Ben in tearing the robots apart.

"Good, you two keep them distracted while we break down the doors!" Wolverine commanded as the rest went to beat down the entrance. However, with every Doombot taken down, more began popping up.

"They don't seem to be stopping!" Amethyst said. "Can this get any worse?"

"As a matter of fact, it possibly can." Garnet predicted with her future vision, just as the castle entrance went down and the Frightful Four emerged from behind it.

"The doctor has ordered us to keep you from getting in his way." The Wizard announced. "But it seems we might have our work cut out for us with this many intruders."

"Just as long as he still does whatever he wants to do with that dumb kid he had captured." Mole-Man responded.

"We'd rather die than let you harm Steven!" Peridot yelled, taking up arms with the remains of some Doombots nearby to form a massive sword.

"Ah, who cares?" Trapster shrugged. "He's got more where they came from anyway."

Even more Doombots emerged to fight the Ultimate Alliance, and they seemed stronger than those before them.

"Garnet, Amethyst, Pearl, and I will take care of these villains!" Connie began planning. "The rest of you take on the rest of the Doombots!"

"You got it!" Lapis obliged. "Hey, where's the Professor?"

"I am staying behind in the Blackbird, but I shall assist in any form I can from here." Xavier announced from the plane using his telepathy.

With a nod to each other, Connie and the primary Crystal Gems prepared for battle against the Frightful Four.

All around the operating room that Steven was forced into by Doctor Doom, various medical devices surrounded the boy as Victor experimented on his hybrid nature. Doom had taken blood samples, X-rays, extractions of saliva, but it was nothing short of a breakthrough.

"There has to be something I could use." Doom muttered to himself as he examined his gathered data. "I've been working tirelessly, yet still nothing is working!"

"You'll never win Doom." Steven said weakly. "No matter how hard you try, my powers will never be used for your evil deeds."

"Famous last words Steven." Doctor Doom scoffed scornfully at the boy, but then he began gazing upon his gem. "Wait, that's it! I'll just have to take out your gemstone! I have yet to decide on what to do after that, but I believe I just made a breakthrough!"

A dull thud sound was then heard throughout the operating room.

"What was that?" Doom asked quietly.

The thudding got even louder and louder until finally, Juggernaut's fist broke through the wall and allowed Kitty Pryde & Mystique to leap through the hole.

"Kitty!" Steven cried happily. "And Mystique?"

"No time for questions." Mystique said to Steven. "Creed, now!"

On Raven's command, Sabretooth leaped into action and used his adamantium claws to break Steven free from the operating table he was restrained to.

"Wait, why are you helping me?" Steven asked the Brotherhood members as he lifted himself off the table.

"It's because of you, squirt." Sabretooth answered. "Magneto was all like, 'Ooh, we can't let him harm a fellow mutant even if he promised to help us with our cause', all thanks to you. But then again, he did basically have the same endgame as your X-Men friends anyhow, just with more violent extra steps."

Back outside the castle, Garnet, Amethyst, Pearl & Connie were all pitted against the Frightful Four, one of them fighting one member each.

"So what's your origin Wiz?" Amethyst asked the Wizard. "Were you laughed at because of your poor fashion sense?!"

"Oh haha, very funny." Bentley Wittman scoffed. "I'm merely jealous of the Four's fame, especially that infernal Human Torch!"

"Oh, so classic jealousy then?" Amethyst replied before using her whips to tie up the Wizard and spin him around. "Geez, grow some dang humility!"

Meanwhile, Pearl was pitted against the Puppet Master, who had decided to defend himself with animated statues of his current boss.

"My puppets are unstoppable!" the Puppet Master boasted, but Pearl proved him wrong by cutting them down with her spear. "What?!"

"You should consider thinking before you speak." Pearl snidely replied before the statues simply put themselves back together. "Wait, how?!"

"It's puppetry, I don't have to explain it!" Phillip Masters shrugged.

"Kinda like how no one can explain your girlish features!" Deadpool jeered the puppeteer's appearance, which caused a puppet to punch him in the face.

"So your gimmick is that you have this gun you use to trap people with?" Connie asked the Trapster while expertly dodging his special glue.

"Yeah, I mean, it's in my name." Petruski replied and aimed his paste gun at her.

"Didn't you go by a different name in the past?" Connie remarked, making the Trapster frightened and then furious. "I think it was Paste Pot Pete, right?"

"SHADDUP!" the villain formerly known as Paste Pot Pete yelled angrily, and he wildly fired his paste gun everywhere he could point it at, covering random spots with his glue. "DON'T CALL ME PASTE POT!"

Connie thought quickly and just as Pete was about to fire his paste at her, she cut the gun in two, disarming him.

Finally, Garnet was pitted against Harvey Elder, aka the Mole-Man, who despite his abnormal height and poor vision, he was able to keep up with her with a fighting style resembling bojutsu that he used his staff for.

"We won't let you keep us from Steven!" Garnet yelled while the leader of the Moloids ran circles around her. "Why are you throwing your lot in with Doom, anyways?"

"He promised us things in exchange for our services!" the Mole Man declared. "Very special things, riches, glory, our own castles!"

"Well, my future vision tells me he won't actually give you those things." Garnet informed Harvey. "Instead he'll just run and hide once defeated while you're left to be arrested."

"WHAT?!" Harvey exclaimed in shock, leaving him open to get punched in the face.

"I thought I could trust you Erik!" Doom exclaimed as he stared down the master of magnetism. "Now you dare turn on Doom for that boy?!"

"He is essentially a mutant, just like I." Magneto boldly declared as he defended Steven and Kitty. "And I refuse to allow you to do him any harm."

"This is my land you mutated ingrate!" the doctor roared. "I can do whatever I please here, and you are powerless to stop me, lest you incur the people's wrath for endangering political immunity!"

"When has political immunity ever stopped the Brotherhood?!" Magneto boomed, floating up as a show of power. "Men call me Magneto, master of magnets! And I welcome you to die!"

Using his mutant abilities, Erik made everything in the operating room float in the air with a raise of his arm, and threw that arm down to launch them all at Doom. "Go children, find your friends! I shall handle things from here."

"Right." Steven obliged before he and Kitty fled the battle, leaving the leader of the Brotherhood to combat the king of Latveria.

Doctor Doom burst from the pile that Magneto had trapped him in, and retaliated with a powerful electric shock and that sent Magneto flying into a wall.

"Damn you!" Lehnsherr growled, creating a barrier around him to defend from further damage and unleash electromagnetic shocks from the barrier.

"Come here!" Doom roared, lunging at the mutant terrorist.

"The Gems have got to be outside the castle!" Steven exclaimed as he and Kitty ran from a slowly growing army of Doombots chasing them down.

"How would you know that?" Kitty asked.

"I remember when the Doombot said that the castle had intruders, that must be them!" Steven reminded his mutant pal while a Doombot tried to grab him. Suddenly, that same Doombot was stabbed through the neck by Lady Deathstrike's claws.

"Can't believe we're resorting to this." Deathstrike muttered before turning to the children. "I suppose you are looking for those Gems, correct? Go, we'll handle things from here."

As the pair continued running, Avalanche and Pyro appeared beside Yuriko to fight. With a confident nod, Avalanche stomped his foot and caused the castle to cave in on the robots, crushing them to bits.

As for Pyro, he was busy melting more Doombots into liquid metal, which gave the Blob an opening to run them all over with his immense girth.

"Oy, wait up ya squirts!" Juggernaut yelled as he bolted through the wall, covered in Doombot remains. Behind him, Toad and Mystique joined the massive mutate as Steven & Kitty finally reached the front of the castle, where the Crystal Gems, the X-Men, the Fantastic Four, the X-Force, Spider-Man, Scarlet Witch, and Quicksilver were waiting.

"Steven!" Pearl yelled excitedly as she wrapped her arms around Steven, and Garnet, Amethyst & Connie followed suit. "We were so worried sick, are you alright?"

"I'm fine." Steven answered. "He just took some samples of my blood and saliva, that's all."

"Steven, long time no see!" Spider-Man cried, giving the half-Gem a high five.

"Peter, Wanda, Pietro!" Steven replied, seeing the web-slinger along with Scarlet Witch and Quicksilver.

"Ah, so you brought my children along?" Magneto asked as he suddenly appeared behind Steven with the Brotherhood behind him. "How quaint."

"Magneto!" Wolverine yelled, and he and the X-Men got ready for a fight, but then Xavier strolled in on his wheelchair. "Uh, Chuck?"

"Erik." Charles politely greeted his archrival.

"Charles." Erik replied in kind. "It seems we are once again at a point where we must align our interests for a common good."

"Indeed it is." The Professor examined thoughtfully.

"Uh, I guess this is pretty common, right?" Amethyst asked the pair of elderly mutants.

"Quite so Amethyst." Xavier declared. "Now then, what brought you to turn on Doom?"

"It was that boy there." Magneto revealed while pointing at Steven. "He convinced me that I could never allow a fellow mutant to be harmed, and I allowed him and Ms. Pryde to flee while I contended with Doom."

On that topic, the Frightful Four rose up to strike back against the Gems. "Et tu Magneto?!" the Mole Man yelled. "Well, we'll see who has the last laugh when the doctor comes for you all!"

Just then, loud mechanical wheezes and groans came from deeper within the castle. Everybody gathered turned back to the front gates and decided to go inside, hoping to see what was up.

"That helmeted fool shall rue the day he ever crossed me!" Doctor Doom muttered hatefully to himself as he tended to a massive machine until a security screen brought up the Ultimate Alliance making their way through his castle, now joined by the Brotherhood of Mutants. "Excellent." Doom purred before he pressed a few buttons on one of his metal gauntlets, causing the machines to turn on. "If Steven won't let me have that gem, I'll rip it from his corpse!"

Four gigantic purple and blue robots slowly stood up straight as their eyes began glowing four different colors, blue, red, green and white. The Sentinels Victor had been waiting to complete were finally ready, and he couldn't be happier to unleash them on his foes.

Phew, so glad I finally finished this! This took ages to write, since I intended to finish this chapter in February but then Alternate Future and college got in the way, plus I'm starting to get a little burned out since I have to balance two massive Steven Universe fanfictions. Hopefully I can at least get the next story started in the summer. But I'm getting ahead of myself, sorry to keep you waiting!

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noodlenibblescribble · 5 years

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Crystal Gem Spinel AU Part 6

I’m taking a break from the main storyline and going back to bullet points and scattered ideas for episodes I skipped to get to Spinel’s breakdown. These are two that people asked me about. XDDD

Part 1 & 2: https://noodlenibblescribble.tumblr.com/post/187546841874/another-crystal-gem-spinel-au

Part 3: https://noodlenibblescribble.tumblr.com/post/187595107454/crystal-gem-spinel-au-part-3

Part 4: https://noodlenibblescribble.tumblr.com/post/187679185279/crystal-gem-spinel-au-part-4

Part 5: https://noodlenibblescribble.tumblr.com/post/187812730494/crystal-gem-spinel-au-part-5

- Lapis’s episodes. Before delving into the episodes, Imma smack a headcannon down for why the gems reacted like they didn’t realize Lapis was an actual gem trapped. While iffy in logic, I’m choosing to go with, placing gems in objects was something new that was being done during the war as a form of interrogation against the rebellion. The Crystal Gems never found out about it, and truly believed the mirror to just be a mirror with a gem-like decoration (idk guys, I’m trying to make sense of the situation. How else could they have in good conscience kept Lapis in there for so long if they knew? Why were they so surprised she started speaking? I don’t like Pearl’s “How could I have known the gem would be so powerful?” line it just seems so out of character for them to be this cruel.) Anyways, with this explanation cleared, moving on~ Hrn… I used to think that Steven comforting Spinel would be his first solo empathetic mission, but I was wrong. I’m thinking Lapis was… So, everything in Mirror Gem stays the same. Spinel wasn’t there when he was given the mirror, but she’s in the living room to witness the horror. Then they go to find Steven, see Lapis, end episode. Unlike the others, instead of wanting to contain Lapis immediately, Spinel is feeling immense guilt at having had a gem trapped for so long right under their noses. She’s quiet and concerned in every scene. In Ocean Gem, they go to find Lapis. Spinel is in the passenger seat as Pearl drives at night. She fumbles with Pearl to explain to Steven how they’ve been fighting gems, but Amethyst cuts in and blatantly tells him. Spinel facepalms. Pearl takes the lead in explaining corruption, then they find the waterfall. Steven steps up in trying to calm Lapis but it isn’t working. The Crystal Gems are readying their battle stances. Spinel hates this. She steps up next to Steven and tries to tell Lapis they can work things out, but she’s interrupted immediately by a copy of herself hitting her, along with Lapis yelling, “YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO TALK TO ME.” starting the fight. When Greg gets hurt and Steven steps up, Spinel is as shocked as everyone. When he tells Lapis he’s going up, Spinel tries to go up with him, but the water gets shaky (to show Lapis’s refusal) and Steven grabs Spinel’s hand. “I’ve got this.” He smiles. He walks in and leaves her behind, with a lot of worry and a new concern blooming. Is she no good at helping gems other than the three she’s used to? Oof, I can actually see this as being a straw to the camel’s back in her thoughts of not being good enough. Steven helps Lapis and gets his first taste of being a good empathizer/peace-maker. Spinel is just barely gonna start to feel like she’s losing her touch. Oof Oof OOF this is actually making me rethink writing a new element into her breakdown. She feels like she is going to be replaced by Steven eventually. How could I rewrite this into the confrontation? Shoot, I’ll have to look into that later. All I know is, by the end of her breakdown, when it’s resolved, her last message to Steven in her note before she leaves will be to “Take care of them” as she comes to terms with him growing up and being helpful.

- The Return-Jailbreak. Jasper comes down and inspects the Crystal Gems. She comments on them all, when she gets to Spinel, calling her, “A clown that lost its laugh.” She considers fighting them if only to see how good Spinel really was in combat, even praising her for it, but decides on her own that it’s a waste of time and not what she had wanted. So, she orders the lazer strike. Then comes the shield and she orders the barrage. The group is split when the hand lazers the sand, Spinel jumping on top of Steven to protect him. Jasper gets closer and Garnet fights her like before. Jasper destabilizes her, and there’s shock. Spinel’s only concern is to keep Steven safe, so as soon as Jasper steps towards them, she turns to stretch him as far as possible, but doesn’t get far enough before the destabilizer reaches her. Jasper taunts how she was looking forward to a fight with her, but Rose is what she wants. The other two left jump to defend Steven, but Jasper easily strikes them down and gets to him. Same thing. Nothing much changes in Jailbreak, Spinel can’t fight Jasper as she’s put next to Amethyst and Pearl. The end? (nothing would really change. We need the important plotpoints that come from this to stay unchanged. Garnet gets her moment to shine, and Lapis fuses with Jasper)

~~~~~~~~~

Spinel/Pearl moments along with some Spinel and Pink relationship exploration. Speaking of, should this ship have a ship name? Spearl? Pearnel? Lol. Idk

- Spinel met Pearl on her first day out of the garden. She couldn’t help but stare as the polite and pale gem introduced herself, her eyes staying on Pink, who was in a call with the diamonds.

Spinel beamed and introduced herself in her cartoony way, bowing deeply and saying in an over-the top voice, “A PLEASURE, MISS PEARL~ I am oh- so so so SO overjoyed to be getting a new friend! And SUCH A PRETTY ONE!” She surrounds her immediately, inspecting her.

“WOOOOOOW, so nice! And such soft materials too!” She touches her dress with an ‘Oooo’. Pearl stops her hand, her tone robotic and eyes still on Pink.

“Please refrain from dirtying me.”

“Ah! Sorry!” Spinel makes a show out of wiping her hands on her shorts, but continues trying to talk to Pearl, who stays unresponsive to every word.

Finally, Pink is done talking to them, and goes to look at her new base excitedly. Every few feet, she would stop to ask Pearl what things are, and she’d reply, stopping Spinel’s chatter enough times so that she’d start paying attention to the base as a whole, and as excitedly as Pink, run and jump around. While Pink had been moving carefully before, seeing Spinel having fun running, she follows suit and they excitedly inspect every nook and cranny, even jumping/stretching up high to the ceilings to point at the carvings and laugh at how silly it made the diamonds look.

They start making stories about the stuff they could do with a colony, what types of gems Pink could make, when Pink stops to ask Pearl her input. She stands tall and informs her diamond that Quartz soldiers can be made with the minerals in Earth. A boring answer, but useful. Spinel jumps in with crazy ideas on how to make the gems look, each wilder than the other, making Pink giggle and reply back excitedly, at this point, creating gems that looked more like worms than anything.

Pearl continues to smile.

Days go by and all three have been stuck in the base for much longer than Pink had wanted. Spinel finally gets reactions out of Pearl, but they are just her telling her the consequences of her silly ideas/actions with a smile. Pink still laughs, though, so that’s what’s important. Finally, it’s time for Pink to check on the yet-to-hatch Kindergarten, allowed by the other diamonds to go and get a report. She can bring her Pearl but not Spinel, as it’s a business trip. Spinel doesn’t mind, they’ll be back soon.

Finally, they get to see just a glimpse of the Kindergarten from a platform built above it. Pink tries to be professional but fails and keeps talking to Pearl excitedly, but Pearl’s responses don’t match the mood. Pink asks the Peridot in charge of collecting data when they’ll go down and check on the Amethysts. Peridot is confused and tells her they were not going down at all. The diamonds forbade it. Pink is surprised, sighs, and touches the glass.

OF course they did.

Pearl can only watch. After the report is collected, they head to the warp, and Pearl attempts for the first time to try to cheer Pink up.

“Don’t worry my diamond. The Amethysts will surely come out strong and well-made. The peridot assigned to them is the best at her field!”

Pink just groans and steps into the warp. Once back at the base, they’re surprised by streamers, falling flower petals, and the sound of a horn. Spinel had planned a surprise welcome back party! Pink can’t help smiling at the effort put in, and lets Spinel cheerfully ask her questions, hear out her complaint about being kept in a building, and comfort her by telling her it’s only their first visit. There will surely be more! Pink is laughing again as Spinel makes a shadow puppet show about the wormy amethysts that would come out of the ground and terrify Blue Diamond.

Pearl’s smile is gone.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

- They wait for longer now, weeks. Spinel is running out of ideas on stuff they can play to keep Pink entertained, Pink growing more and more frustrated. They tried hide and seek, they tried exploring the moon, they even tried to impersonate Yellow Diamond to get their worm gem idea to become a reality, but everything failed. Pink was tired of the same old things.

All the while, Pearl had been with them every step of the way, jumping in with facts and statistics, but always failing to read the mood. Spinel would be the one to respond to them mostly, taking them earnestly as suggestions to work through.

“Look my diamond! IF we get on this slab, we can slide down this crater! Let’s race!”

“I predict the slab will erode halfway through the crater! My diamond, this will likely result in you getting hurt! I CANNOT recommend doing this!”

“Don’t worry Pearl! We can just keep another slab in our gems and pull them out when the slab is gone! Here, you can ride with me!”

(this ended with all three in a pile on the bottom of the crater, Spinel at the bottom having pulled Pearl on top of her, Pink jumping on both when her slab failed. Spinel and Pink laughed; Pearl screamed internally.)

~~~~~~~~~~~

- Finally, the scene where the idea of visiting the Kindergarten happens.

“Ugh, did you imagine it’d be THIS DULL to run a colony?”

Pearl jumps in first. “I could imagine it! If you want me to!”

Spinel sits on the arm of Pink’s chair, legs swinging. “I would much rather imagine what it’d look like if we switched hairstyles. Although yours and Pearl’s are preeetty similar…”

Pink sighs dejectedly and asks for the status of the Prime Kindergarten. Pearl tells them the first Quartz soldiers are emerging soon, and they excitedly go to the show room to see for themselves. Pink and Spinel are amazed to see Amethysts emerging, but Pink pouts over not being able to BE there. Spinel pats her shoulder in sympathy.

Pearl steps up. “We could warp there right now my diamond!”

“What? No! I would NEVER hear the end of it from Blue and Yellow! Oh… but could you imagine…. Me? Playing with the Amethysts?”

“Of course I can, my diamond!” Pearl forms the image of Pink and the gems.

Spinel gasps. “Woah! … You look so happy…”

Pink isn’t convinced. “I won’t be happy when Blue and Yellow find out…”

Pearl reassures her. “They won’t find out.”

“Why is that?”

“Beeecause… you changed your shape for a day! You look just like a quartz!”

Both Pink and Spinel rush at her, voices and expressions blown, “THAT’S BRILLIANT, PEARL!”

Pearl is surprised out of her projection, looking up to see Pink change shape. She’s giggling with Spinel, Spinel admiring the new shape. “WOAH, what a cool design, Pearl! It fits Pink to a tee~!” She measures the both of them together, not believing how much smaller Pink’s made herself.

“I can’t believe it, I can’t believe it! I’m going out there! FINALLY!” Pearl laughs nervously and responds, “Happy to help, my diamond.” Pink rushes up to the warp, and bounces happily as she waits for Pearl step in. Once they’re both up, she notices Spinel still standing in the same place.

“What are you doing down there? Come up!”

“My diamond, if you truly want to go with this plan, I suggest only us going. Spinel is a very rare gem and having her walk around with us could draw attention.”

“Oh…” Pink looks down at Spinel, who simply waves.

“It’s alright! I can make another surprise party for when you come back! Oops! I mean I WON’T be planning a surprise party~!” Pink laughs.

“Alright then. I’ll be back!” And she warped with Pearl, the trip with just the two of them being their first bonding experience together, alone. Pearl’s pride is through the roof, and Pink begins listening to Pearl’s suggestions more.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

- Spinel hears everything about Earth, and is happy for Pink. She reassures her every time she tries to tell the Diamonds about stopping the colonization that they will find a way to save it. But every attempt to get them to see reason fails, and finally, Rose is born.

They plan things out together. Their names will be the “Crystal Gems”, and the star shape will be their symbol. Rose and Pearl create their new forms, but Spinel waits from the side and asks nervously, “Am.. I a part of this? Should I make a form?”

Rose’s eyes glimmer. “OF COURSE you’re a part of this! The more help the better!”

“But my diamond, Spinel’s rarity-“

“She could reform as well, into something more unrecognizable. Like…. Flipping her gem! Try it Spinel!”

Spinel creates her first, new form, with her buns loose, turned gem, and a skirt to match Rose’s. They head to earth to establish places they can group up, and for the first time, Spinel gets to experience the things she’s only heard Pink talk about.

The sun, the wind, the animals, the PLANTS. She’s enamored, but Rose and Pearl keep stopping her as she tries to explore, reminding her they’re there on serious business. Spinel stops and does what she’s told.

~~~~~~~~~~~

- They train with swords for their first fight. Spinel is bad at using them, her movements more circular and wonky. Pearl is a natural. Rose and Spinel are very impressed at how good she is, praises ensue and Pearl beams at Rose’s attention. She hesitantly gives Spinel advice when she sees just how bad and unbalanced she is. Spinel tries harder with her help but is still no good.

“Nonono, look, you just JAB at the opponent. No swinging necessary! A simply, quick stab at their soft spot and it’s over! Where are you getting these swerves from?” Pearl is exasperated, after trying to teach Spinel for hours. Spinel can only sigh in defeat apologetically.

“I’m sorry Pearl, I’m just not cut out for this. Maybe I should just hang back… I’m not good enough for this.”

Pearl shook her head. Her patience with Spinel was gone. “What nonsense! You’re already here! Ugh, Spinel, Rose is going to need all the help she can get. And even with movements as uncoordinated as yours, a third person to help pick us up when we’re in danger is a BIG statistical advantage. There’s no getting out of this. Honestly, ‘Maybe I should hang back’, the option for that has been long gone! You’re a part of this, whether you like it or not!”

Pearl keeps muttering to herself as she tries to show the next set of moves, but Spinel’s attention is only caught in her words. She’s a part of this now. Pearl turns and asks Spinel to repeat the movements, but Spinel is still only looking at her. Pearl is out of her mind with impatience.

“Oh for Pink’s sakes- Where you paying attention? SPINEL- I- What?” Spinel is hugging her now. Pearl doesn’t know what to do. She just stands there for a long time, until Spinel finally lets her go with a smile.

“Thanks for teaching me, Pearl. I’m ready to learn more!”

Pearl continues to stare at Spinel with questioning eyes but resumes her lesson.

Spinel thinks to herself how lucky she is to have friends as nice as Pink and Pearl. She can let no harm come to them! She sucks up her doubts, she can’t have them anymore. She will play the game, and she will win with her friends!

But, the graceful and direct body movement she needs is just not programmed in her. She feels like she’s failing the other two, but she swallows up her negative emotions for the upcoming battles. They fight their first few surprise attacks, Spinel not doing as well as the others, until their third attack, when Spinel one shots everyone with her stretchy powers. After this, Rose is all over Spinel with compliments instead of Pearl, making Pearl’s jealousy rank up. Spinel is just proud that she could FINALLY be of service, though she notices Pearl’s attitude a bit.

“Hey Pearl, could you teach me to dual wield? It may be useful if I could combine it with-“

“Oh, go teach yourself Spinel! You’re already so good at combat, I’m sure you can find a better way to do what you’re thinking!”

“Aw gee, Pearl. You… You really think so? Well, if you believe in me, I have to try it! Thanks Pearl! Oh- Let’s practice together after I come up with something! You’re my best sparring partner!”

“Ugh.”

They do end up sparring later, and Spinel’s new technique manages to beat Pearl for the first time. Spinel is overjoyed, Rose is amazed, and Pearl takes this as a challenge she needs to correct. They keep sparring as time goes on, rematch after rematch.

~~~~~~~~~~~

- Garnet occurs, and the three tried to form a fusion. Pearl is still mad that Spinel interfered.

“What’s wrong, Pearl? Don’tcha wanna ask Garnet questions too?”

Spinel found Pearl away from their camp, her back to a tree and her legs pulled up. She glared at Spinel.

“Why did you HAVE to interfere? I could’ve fused with Rose… Garnet said that all it took was a strong emotional connection! I have that with her! I’m sure if you would’ve just stayed away…”

Spinel furrowed her brow.

“But don’t I have a strong emotional connection to you guys too? Why wouldn’t it work then? Unless… it can only happen between two gems..? But then, same type gems can keep fusing to make bigger versions! Wouldn’t-“

“THAT’S NOT WHAT MATTERS.” Pearl shouted. Spinel stopped and stared at Pearl, who was blushing now, and looked away. Pearl continued. “I wanted to fuse with Rose. And I’ll try it again. This time, STAY OUT OF IT. The connection we have is between HER and ME. It has NOTHING to do with YOU.”

Pearl got up and walked away, leaving Spinel on her own.

She thought things through, and ended up clutching her chest. It was hurting, but she didn’t know why. Maybe because she hurt her friend without thinking?

But… Pearl WAS right… their connection as a group wasn’t everything… there was their connections as pairs that helped tighten their bonds! That’s how Spinel chose to take those words. If Pearl didn’t want her to interfere, she wouldn’t. She’ll just wait to be asked to fuse, once the other two get the hang of it!

~~~~~~~~~~~~

- The first casualty. Spinel is an emotional wreck, even just THINKING about going to the battlefield scares her to the point of tears. But as she contemplates telling Rose about it, she overhears her and Pearl talking about her.

“Spinel’s been such a help in keeping us motivated… And her prowess in battle! Everyone feels so safe around her!”

Pearl’s tone was huffy, but she agreed. “Yes well, she HAS been benefiting us quite a lot. Especially after…. The incident….”

Rose and Pearl grew quiet, but Pearl spoke up. “Don’t worry, Rose. Remember, Spinel said it happened because of an accident. I’m sure that we can avoid further incidents with enough training!” Rose takes a deep breath but agrees with Pearl.

“As long as Spinel is still smiling, I’m sure everyone will feel fine. They really depend on her.”

Spinel stepped back, a whole lot more on her mind. She knew her role was to be the motivator, but was she really THAT important? Looking around at her friends, and how sad their expressions looked when they were alone, she realized her worth as a distraction. She had to keep fighting beside them. She had to save them all, not just on the field, but from their thoughts at camp. She stepped up to her role with passion, picking up the unhealthy habit of keeping her sadness to herself. She didn’t want to disappoint anyone.

- Pearl gets poofed trying to save Rose. Spinel is barely able to save her gem. She’s shaky and droopy and filled with worry as she waits for her to reform, sticking to her side in their reformation cave. The others come by to visit her, surprised she’s sticking with Pearl for so long. When she asks them why it’s surprising, they give the same replies.

“You two just…. Never seemed that close?”

“I more expected to see Rose in here… where is she?”

“Why worry so much? Pearl will be fine. We should go check out Biggs instead!”

Spinel replies mechanically.

“Of course we’re close, silly! We’ve been together the longest! Best friends for life~”

“Rose is busy! She has to plan the next raid, and especially now without Pearl, she’s got a lot more to do!”

“I… can’t. I want to stay here. I’m being silly, but I really miss Pearl, you know? Have fun!”

While she waits, Spinel is flooded with reliving the shattering she witnessed that broke her, haunted by her imagination replacing her friend with Pearl instead. She was more shaken than she let up. Once Pearl’s back, Spinel hugs her tightly and doesn’t plan on letting go, but Pearl only pushes her away to look for Rose, telling Spinel she’s overreacting. Spinel tries to protest a bit, but Pearl easily shuts her down. Pearl signed up because of Rose, and she would die defending her. It’s her duty, as much as Spinel’s is to protect everyone. It’s what Rose needed from them. Spinel is left behind in the cave as Pearl rushes to help Rose’s plans, feeling for the first time like she’s just a tool.

Afterwards, however, Spinel keeps an eye out for Pearl particularly in the battlefield. Afterall, she is a part of the umbrella that is ‘everyone.’

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

- Rose and Pearl fuse for the first time, and it’s glorious. Rainbow Quartz is BIG and GORGEOUS, formed in the midst of battle and dealing blows like crazy. After their victory, everyone rushes them in congratulations, Spinel included. Rose and Pearl unfuse, and celebrate together with cheers.

Spinel is excited for all the possibilities fusion is bringing to their camp. She can’t wait to try it with her friends first! As her best friends, they should have the honor, of course! Time goes on, and while Spinel gets unexpectedly asked a few times, she stays firm. Rose might one day need her, and it would be a blast! Or even Pearl… Spinel feels herself flush a bit in excitement, imagining how cool it’d be to be half as elegant as Pearl.

She bounced around, ecstatic for the day to come. Watching as they begin fusing with other gems. But she stayed adamant, they would be her first! Still time passed. She’s getting antsy, and Garnet is getting tired of answering her questions on what it’s like. She stops Pearl finally, and shyly tries to ask her.

“So uh… I know this is… pretty dumb and.. I’m sorry for even bringing this up,” She laughs nervously. “But… uh.. remember that talk we had way back? When we first saw Garnet and… tried to fuse..?” Spinel pauses a bit, Pearl is furrowing her brow. Spinel continues.

“Would it be ok if I could jump in now? Y-You two have your connection! Just like you have one with everyone else you’ve fused with! But I-“ She stops again, gulping up her courage. “I have it too! With you two! And! I’d really like it if one of you could… be my first fusion experience…”

Pearl is staring at Spinel, she hadn’t expected such a bold question. It’s irritating to see her so… hopeful. Pearl stifled a sound of distaste. Spinel fuse with her? Never. But with Rose? Pink forbid it! Still…. The only way she was going to drop it was with action. She supposed she’s done enough sacrifices for Rose to warrant another one.

With a groan, Pearl extended her hand and looked around. No onlookers. “Fine. Let’s try it. But only for a SECOND. And then you NEVER speak of this again, or even DARE bother Rose about this!”

Spinel is so happy she could cry, but she zips her mouth in agreement, and bounces closer to her, holding her hand. They dance a bit of a waltz, Spinel trying her hardest to not mess up, and she swings Pearl away, then back to her, the turn back making them glow… and mesh… and form…

Something. What were they? So many question, so little time! The new fusion touched face, feeling her sharp nose and smaller pigtails. Ew. Pigtails. Wait. Ew? Why did she feel so… wrong…? She got up and walked around, trying to focus on moving, but her thoughts were too much. Why was she so clumsy now? Why couldn’t she be better composed? And her outfit, ugh. Look at this material! Gloves? This skirt? Flimsy. The fusion hugged herself, the sudden need to cry overtaking her. Why did she feel so wrong? In her confused steps, she yelps as she feels the sudden rush of water. She’s stepped into the sea? She looks down at her reflection, taking in all her details. All her imperfections. Wow.

She was hideous.

Pop!

Spinel and Pearl fall into the water, the waves crashing down on them. They yell, but get washed up to shore, where they cough and bend over the sand. Was fusion always that… horrible? But Garnet said-!

“Never. Ask me… to do that with you again.” Pearl told Spinel through her coughs. Spinel wants to cry, but nods instead. She waits in the sand as Pearl gets up, dusts herself off, and goes back to their new camp. Spinel stays sitting there for the rest of the night, wondering why her first fusion was such a failure.

And why the things it hated about itself were closely related to her.

After this, she continues to refuse all offers to fuse with others. She’s too afraid of feeling that self- hatred again.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

- Spinel is told by Rose that she’s been killed off to the diamonds. Spinel has been thinking things through a lot more since, and came to the realization on her own that Rose considers her input to mean nothing, even as she preaches that everyone’s thoughts matter. She also realizes why Pearl always pushes her aside. She talks it out with Garnet.

“I just…. I’m left out so much… By both of them! I’ve followed Rose since I can remember. And Pearl too. We were such a good team… we had so much fun together… But it turns out it was all a lie?! I was never important to Rose! I gave her my life, my purpose, EVERYTHING! And I’m being treated like this? A tool…. I mean….” She sighs. “I knew… I always KNEW that’s what I was but… boy what a reminder….” She hides her face but moves on.

“And Pearl…” Spinel sobs harder. “Pearl hates me, Garnet! She hates me! I can’t believe I kept thinking she was just looking out for me. Being nice in her own way. But she was always just trying to push me away!”

Garnet pats her back as she sobs a bit longer, then wipes her tears and continues. “What’s wrong with me, Garnet? Why can’t I be Pearl’s friend? What’s kept her from liking me? What am I doing wrong?!”

Garnet shook her head. “There’s nothing wrong with you, Spinel! Why would you think there is? Pearl is just… particular. It takes a lot to be friends with her…”

“Bismuth is her friend. Crazy legs. Snowflake too! She laughs with them… she cares about them… but when I talk to her, it’s all she can do not to roll her eyes. What’s wrong with me…”

Garnet sighed. She can’t fix this problem. “Well, what does it matter anyways that she doesn’t want to be friends with you? Why do you want to be friends with her? When she treats you like that? “

Spinel keeps sniffling for a bit, thinking it out. She comes to a conclusion.

“Because. She’s just so……..

Amazing.

She’s smart. Garnet, I think she’s the smartest gem I know! She comes up with most of these plans, you know that? She came up with the idea to flank the Jaspers in the battle in the Strawberry Field, the victory was all hers! And she’s so good at fighting… And so graceful! She never falls or slips or misses a step! She’s beautiful with a sword- But dangerous! It’s unreal… like a dance with a weapon! And her kindness… Even with people like me, whom she hates…. She cares. She taught me to sword fight even when I sucked. Even when I kept getting on her nerves, she would continue pushing me so that I wouldn’t be hurt or get them hurt. She’s so finicky but it’s for a reason!

And… and when she’s wrong about something, she gets all pouty for a while but…” Spinel smiles. “She comes to apologize later with the biggest blue blush… And it’s so cute! And when she’s being praised, she’ll act all confident, but when no one is looking, she totally geeks out, especially when it’s Rose… and oh- Garnet! When she looks at Rose, she has such pretty expressions…. Such a nice smile… AND HER SINGING, GARNET, I NEARLY DIED WHEN I FIRST HEARD IT! Such a lovely voice!!! She was made to be so… pleasing. How can someone just NOT like her??? She’s so… nice. Amazing. Cool. Amazing. Wonderful…”

Spinel is in a daze, smiling like a goon, hands framing her face, but they soon tighten around her cheeks as she chokes up, tears returning full swing.

“And….. she… the most…. BEAUTIFUL gem…. doesn’t…. like me…. Garnet…” Spinel turns to look at her, eyes the biggest she’s ever seen. “I’m a failure.”

She continues to cry and Garnet continues to hold her. Garnet knows what the problem really is, but keeps it to herself. There’s nothing she could do without being intrusive; this is a problem between them and the love Spinel feels. She wonders how this will all resolve itself and hopes it’s done soon.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

- Spinel avoids Pearl a lot now. Pearl notices, but doesn’t know what to make of it. She was so used to Spinel running up to her after every mission, draping herself all over, picking her up and twirling her, being the BIGGEST nuisance while she meticulously organized the supplies. Pearl wondered what had changed.

Coming out of Bismuth’s cave after a productive day of inspecting the new weapons, Pearl noticed Spinel sitting with the newest recruits, juggling their weapons while balancing on a helmet, making them laugh. She dropped a weapon and slipped comedically, making everyone roar, herself included. Pearl huffed at the time being wasted and turned to move to Rose’s tent again. Two steps in, she hears her familiar voice yell out her name.

“Pearl? Oh- Pearl! Wait up!”

Pearl stifles a know-it-all smile as she pauses. Here it was again, Spinel would rush her with a hug and ask her what she did that day and-

Spinel stopped a few feet away from her, stretching her arm to hand a piece of equipment over to Pearl.

“Red told me to give this to you. Not sure what it’s for though…” Spinel is smiling at her, but it’s not reaching her eyes like it used to. Pearl is at a loss for words, but she takes the equipment anyways.

“Thank you..”

Spinel gives her a small salute. “No prob. Well.. see ya!” She moves away quickly, as if Pearl had some human disease. How ridiculous! What was her problem? Pearl huffed and placed the equipment inside her gem, deciding to never give this another thought again. If Spinel wanted to act like this, it was HER problem! This was better for her anyways! She stomped away, trying to regain her composure for her meeting with Rose, but fails. For the rest of the day, she has a huffy attitude, and can’t forget that dumb, obviously fake smile.

- Pink fakes her shattering. Everyone is buzzing about it, the rebels not knowing how to take this sudden surprise attack. Most cheer for their leader’s courage and determination, others fear the retaliation. Spinel should be over feeling so surprised at being kept out of big events like this, but nevertheless she’s…

Floored.

She hides it well as she plans a party in celebration, commencing the festivities that night. Everyone is having the best time after all those years of being scared, this one event feeling like the biggest step in finally winning this war. Spinel finds herself wishing Bismuth was here to celebrate as well. She wished everyone lost was here. She slinks to the shadows to mourn.

After walking a while, she finds Pearl alone, sitting on a tree branch, looking at the festivities from afar. She doesn’t look good. It concerns Spinel greatly. Despite her mind reminding her she’s not welcome, her heart makes her walk towards the tree, knocking on the trunk to make her presence known.

“Knock knock. Anyone home?”

Pearl doesn’t huff in annoyance like she usually does. She just stays quietly looking at the party, ignoring Spinel. Spinel tries one more time. “You know, I’m pretty pooped from planning all day. Any room for one more on that branch?”

No answer again. Spinel sighs. She backs away and turns to move, but is stopped by the sound of shuffling from above. Pearl scooched and pat the spot next to her. Spinel’s eyes widened, and she very slowly and cautiously stretched to fit the spot.

Once sitting comfortably, she stares out with Pearl in silence, not knowing what to do now. She’d never gotten this far… Spinel’s nerves are catching up to her, making her stomach form twists and knots. What was she thinking? That she could magically help Pearl? Pearl hates her! All she’d do is make it worse! But she can’t just leave now, i-it’d be rude! Augh, her and her big mouth! Now what??

Spinel’s freak out was becoming visible, as her tiny trembles began shaking leaves from the branch. Pearl looked at her, then looked back at the party, and for once, she decided to try to speak.

“I… ”

Her hands moved to her mouth, blocking her words. Pearl’s expression changed from sorrowful to shock, her words became sounds, and she tried to get her hands away from her face. Spinel watched, dumbfounded on what was happening. “Pearl? Pearl! What’s-?” Pearl fell from the branch in her flurried movements, almost reaching the floor, but caught by Spinel. Spinel lets her down softly, and follows her. Pearl is crying now. Her hands still have yet to leave her mouth. Spinel has no idea on what to do.

“Pearl? Pearl…” She hugs her, Pearl’s sobbing breaking her heart. She has no idea what’s making her like this. She has no idea how to help. But she keeps holding Pearl until her crying stops, and her hands finally move away from her lips. She speaks again, and her voice breaks.

“Spinel…”

“Yes Pearl?” She moves out of the hug to look at her, Pearl looking haggard. She shakes her head. “I- I can’t. I can’t say anything. I can’t tell. I-“ Her hands start moving again to her mouth, but Spinel catches them in time, changing the direction of the conversation.

“Then don’t tell me. I don’t need to know.” Pearl’s eyes widen, tears flowing out again. She’s never seen Spinel so serious. Spinel continues.

“Pearl… I don’t know what’s hurting you, but I think I have an idea. And it’s not your responsibility to tell me. I’ll go to Rose myself for that.” Spinel’s finally getting her confidence back, Pearl’s breakdown solidifying her heart, making her realize for the first time how Rose’s decisions can hurt even Pearl. That just isn’t right. Her hardened eyes grow soft again, taking in Pearl who still sits quietly, looking at the ground now. She takes her in for another hug, more tender than before. “It’ll be alright not, Pearl. We’re here. We’re alive. Rose is with us, and we’re WINNING. Everything will turn out okay.”

Pearl hugs back, another first. It’s the sweetest and most heartbreaking thing.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

- Pearl avoids Spinel after that encounter. Spinel understands. She caught her at a vulnerable moment, that was all. Her feelings towards Spinel haven’t changed. Still, Spinel had a bone to pick with Rose, and she finally got her on her own.

“Rose, we need to talk.”

“Oh, Spinel! You’re here! Good, I needed to talk to you as well about this next batch of recruits. Now that we’re winning, we’ve gotten so many more, and it’s hard to-“

“No. We need to talk about something else.”

Rose’s smile drops, and she looks at Spinel quizzically. She had never heard her use that tone before. What was wrong?

“Is.. everything ok? What’s wrong?”

Spinel stares at Rose for a while, her determination was obsolete just a second ago, but having Rose’s attention solely on her was so… intimidating. It’s been so long since Rose really LOOKED at her. She takes a shaky breath and talks.

“Why did you do it? Why did you… shatter yourself?”

Rose’s eyes widened at the boldness, and she looked around quickly to make sure no one was near. They were all alone in a cave near the sea. Rose sighed.

“I was sick of it. It’s so tiring to keep switching from role to role! And this,” She moves her hand to motion herself. “Is who I really am. Who I’ve always wanted to be. Now, FINALLY… I’m free.” She’s smiling, beaming, so proud of how far she’s come. IT seemed like such a logical answer. It should be fine, right? But…

“What happened with Pearl? Why… can’t she talk to me about it?”

Rose’s bright expression stops. She’s confused. “Nothing’s happened to Pearl. I haven’t done anything.”

Spinel shakes her head. “No, something DID happen! She can’t talk about the incident AT ALL. Her hands cover her mouth, and she starts crying when she thinks about it. It’s….” Scary. She can’t finish her words. Rose’s bewilderment turns to realization. She lets out a sound of understanding.

“Oooh. Well. Before she shattered me, I-“

“SHE shattered YOU?”

“Well yes, I can’t just… shatter myself, you know? I needed someone to-“

“ROSE.”

Rose stops and looks down at Spinel, now growing a bit of irritation. She didn’t understand Spinel’s problem. “Look, all I did was give her a final command as her diamond. She isn’t allowed to tell anyone about what happened. It’s harmless, and NECESSARY. You know, precautions and all that.”

Spinel’s shaking. This wasn’t fair. Why did it all sound so convincing and unavoidable, like this was really the only way? Surely there were other options! Surely, these drastic measures could’ve been prevented! She wanted to retaliate, to argue, but Rose stepped up and took her hands. She held Spinel’s gaze, and for the first time since the Rebellion began, her presence as a diamond was suffocating her.

Spinel was speechless.

“Spinel, I know what I did may seem… extreme, but I assure you, I needed to do it. Trust in me. I’m doing what’s best for Earth, what’s best for US. When have I ever led you wrong?”

Her smile that should’ve been reassuring sends shivers through Spinel’s spine, but her gaze was so entrancing, she can’t help respond with, “Never.” Rose continues. “You see? It’s all working out. Soon, the diamonds will leave, and we will all get our happy ending. We’ll have lots of fun! We’ll get to play and explore, and make so many new friends for the rest of our days! Doesn’t that sound so nice, after all this work? Aren’t you tired of fighting?”

Spinel tears up. She is. She nods, and Rose wipes her tears, then cups her cheek. She’s so warm and reassuring now, it’s been too long since Spinel saw this side of her.

“Now now, Spinel. It’s alright. I’m sorry it ended like it did, but it’ll be worth it. You just have to keep doing what you’re doing…” Rose boops her nose, and Spinel actually smiles. “And let me do what I need to do. OH! But before we put this to rest… I need you to do something for me…”

Spinel tilts her head. “Is it that thing with the recruits?”

“No… It’s about this situation…” Rose twists her smile. “I mean… you know… the whole thing with Pearl? I know I can trust you both to keep quiet but… you never know who will try to dig in.” Rose looked down at Spinel guiltily, but eager nonetheless. “I need the reassurance… Please Spinel?”

Spinel is stuck to the ground. Rose said.. please? This was really important to her…. And really, if things went their way, they would never need to bring this up again anyways. What’s the harm?

Spinel moves her hand through her mouth, mimicking a zipper. “My lips are sealed… my diamond.” Rose smiles and finalizes the order. Everything will be okay.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

- The Corruption song happens. It’s been months, with them prioritizing shattering all warps, and no one has smiled. Even Rose is too lost in her guilt. She tells the others she’s going on a trip to check on the humans around the world and make sure the ones she knows are still here, leaving the surviving Crystal Gems behind. The three don’t know what to do now.

Garnet is trying to track down the gems of their fallen comrades, to bubble them safely. Pearl is pouting over being left behind. Spinel decides to follow Garnet, but keeps glancing at Pearl.

Halfway through trying to pick up the gems in the last battlefield they were in, something horrifying happens. The rest of the poofed gems they had yet to bubble started shaking, and shining, and form. Spinel started getting excited. Maybe the gems were just in some sort of deep hibernation and they were finally back?! She watches as they grow, but quickly realizes something is wrong. The forms they’re taking is not their own.

Soon, they’re surrounded by what looks like monsters.

So this is corruption.

The three Crystal Gems look at each other, before looking back at the creatures formed, some running away, some running TOWARDS them, the confusion leading them to scramble instead of fight. They don’t stand a chance with so many, without ROSE. They manage to lose the ones that chased them in an old tunnel system they carved out for an ambush once. They camp out inside for a bit, unsure of how to process this.

They’re more miserable than before.

Spinel is at her wits end.

Everyone’s so quiet, they can hear a trickle of water falling steadily from the ceiling, and it’s driving Spinel batty!

She decides on breaking the tension, once and for all. “So we survived. What’s wrong with that?” She looks to Garnet, then to Pearl. She looks back down, determination pushing her forward. “I mean it. The corruption song wasn’t our fault. It was the diamonds!” She sucked in a breath, knowing Pearl would be moving her hands to her mouth. Spinel had a hard time stopping her own hand from tracing hers. “So. So why are we living like this? Why are we acting so sad? Biggs wouldn’t want this. Neither would Red, Apatite, Crazy Legs, or Tourmaline! They were our friends. They’d be giving us a hard time for acting like this. Like they’re already shattered.”

Spinel gets up. She points outside. “They’re still here. They’re just… droolier. Angrier. But they’re not shattered!” Spinel crosses her arms. “And frankly, I think that’s more relieving than when we thought they were trapped in their own gems without a physical form. At least we know now. And we can do something. We can look for ways to help them.”

Spinel is trying to smile. It doesn’t feel right, but it’ll take time for it to grow back on its own. She nudges Garnet, who’s closest.

“And at least we aren’t all alone. We have one another. And… I love you guys. I’m happy to be stuck here with you. MY best friends….”

Garnet is choked up, frozen, clutching her chest. This is the first time she’s been given that title by Spinel. It must mean a lot to her….

Pearl feels something stuck on her throat as well, realizing the annoyance she felt a long time ago had eroded. Instead, she felt something warm, and delicate, at being called Spinel’s best friend. Spinel’s smile is starting to waver, but she shakes it away. She’s not done yet with her mushy gushy feelings session.

“Come on you two. This was a long time coming!”

She picks them both up with ease, pulling them close and wrapping her arms around them in a big hug. Garnet and Pearl are uncomfortable, but don’t protest. Until Spinel tries to pick them up.

“Wait a seco- SPINEL!”

“SPINEL, WATCH OUT!”

She wobbles and trips behind herself, down a pathway that sloped all the way down the mountain. They slipped and they tumbled, Spinel clutching Pearl tight until they reached the bottom, Pearl on top of her, and Garnet falling a few seconds later, landing on both. They groan together.

Spinel feels worry clutching at her chest. She messed it up. They were having such a sweet moment too! “Oh- I’m sorry guys, I’m so-“

Pearl’s laughter erupted from between the other two gems, stopping Spinel in her track to stare at her instead.

It’s loud, it’s bombastic, and it’s the first time Spinel was the cause of that beautiful sound. Spinel’s cheeks started to flush. Garnet soon followed, letting her visor fade as she fell off of Pearl, both laughing up a storm beside Spinel. She can’t help her grin, and joins in, laughing for minutes on end over how ridiculous the situation was, and how Spinel’s hijinks will never end.

It’s exactly what they needed, before going back to the heaviness that is talking to Rose on what to do with the corrupted gems, and coming to realize they’d need to poof and bubble their friends.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

- Rose starts messing around with the humans. Pearl is not thrilled. Spinel comforts her over it for the first time.

“Ugh, it was bad enough when she was FRIENDS with them, but lovers?? Who do these humans think they are?! The nerve of them, seducing Rose! What’s so great about human courtship anyways?”

“Well, what is it they do?”

“Apparently, they press their… ugh… lips together and…. Do some weird ritual. IT’s DISGUSTING. Why does Rose like such barbaric things? She’s too refined for that!”

Spinel considers what she’s been told. Press their lips together? Seems simple enough, why was it regarded as something special? Pearl keeps ranting, moving her arms around to emphasize her points, but Spinel can’t help stare at her lips. They ARE pretty. What would they feel like?

Pearl stops talking and looks at Spinel, eyes like daggers. “What are you staring at?”

Spinel sits up, sweating bullets. “Nothing! Just um…” She looks down then back up at Pearl’s face. She decides to be a bit bold today. “T-Thinking about this kissing thing. How do you know it’s…. unpleasant…? Have you even tried it…?”

Pearl is taken aback. She folds her arms, blush peeking through, and looks away. “Of course not! Why would I? I have no need for such silly shows of affection! I can court just fine!”

Spinel’s nervous, but she wants to keep going. Maybe now that Rose is gone so much, and that Pearl has been relying on her more…. Maybe she could…?

“Well, why not give it a shot..? I mean…” She dares shuffle a bit closer. “You might get to… know what Rose feels… See what the fuss is all bout…”

She’s right next to Pearl now. “And get a little closer to her… in a way…”

Pearl is quiet, still looking away, but Spinel can tell from her shoulders that her blush is still present. Was she really doing this? Could she finally be leaving an impact? Would Pearl..?

“I think you’re on to something…”

Spinel feels something stirring inside her, she needs to audibly gulp down her nerves. Oh jingling bells and dancing monkeys, was she finally-?

“Y-Yeah?”

Pearl turns to look at Spinel, expression changed to one of determination. “Yes! In order to compete with these dumb humans, I need to understand their stupid actions more! When Rose gets back, I need to stop her and ask her to show me what it is they do. What it is she likes…” Pearl gets up, new confidence flaring. “I am her closest confidant. It’s MY duty and MINE alone to please her!”

Spinel visibly deflates, and hugs herself. Her. And. Her. Big. Mouth. “Oh. Well… good luck Pearl…” She smiles. “Knock her dead!”

Pearl looks disturbed by the phrase. “I most certainly will not. But I will try to get her to stay with me from now on….” Pearl sighs. “I just wish she finally noticed that I’m all she needs. She’s my everything… why can’t I be hers..?” She stays, staring at the sky for a bit, before shaking herself off and walking away. Spinel stares at her retreating back, wondering the same thing out loud.

“Why can’t you notice ME?”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

- Amethyst is found by the Crystal Gems. She runs from them at first, scared of something new after years of just wandering on her own, but Spinel catches up quickly and calms her down. She asks her if she’d like some new friends. Amethyst has no idea on what friends are. Extending her hand, Amethyst slowly grasps it, and is picked up. She will learn, and it will be fun. But it’s taking up most of Spinel’s time.

Pearl normally doesn’t mind, but when Rose leaves and she’s left on her own, Spinel’s lost presence is felt considerably. She doesn’t know when she started relying so much on this silly pink clown, and it frustrates her. She acts out by going back to her snarky ways against Spinel. Being huffy, stomping away and ignoring Spinel when she asks if she’s ok. Spinel feels hurt and confused, not knowing what she’s done to make Pearl go back to the way she was. Amethyst watches on and decides she doesn’t like this prissy gem that keeps being rude to her best friend.

“Don’t listen to her. I think you’re cool!” Amethyst has her arms crossed trying to take on a serious pose. IT makes Spinel laugh and ruffle her hair. “Thanks, kid. I think you’re super cool too!” That makes Amethyst puff out her chest in pride. But as the days keep going, Amethyst realizes that the words mean little, when Spinel’s thoughts are obviously still so wrapped up on Pearl. She’s no fun when she’s like this, all distracted. Amethyst hates it.

Seeing how her probing Spinel only comes up with empty reassurances that nothing is wrong, and her cornering Pearl ends with Pearl demanding she mind her own business, Amethyst sneaks out of Spinel’s watch to find the only other gem she thinks can help her see the big picture, Garnet.

Garnet listens to her complaints, only speaking when she was done. “What are you confused about really?” Amethyst crosses her arms. She’s exasperated at having to repeat herself. “That Spinel is so hung up on Pearl, duh! Pearl is so dumb. She’s a lousy friend who only cares about Spinel when Rose isn’t around! She’s ditched her so many times, but she still expects Spinel to hang out with her whenever she wants her to!”

Garnet nods. “I agree, it is very frustrating to see how Pearl treats Spinel. But Spinel leaving Pearl behind isn’t making her happy either. It just makes her more sad.”

Amethyst furrows her brows, hating that Garnet is right. Spinel really misses that prissy, uptight stick! She sighs in defeat. “Well, what now? What can she do?”

Garnet shakes her head. “What can YOU do. Spinel isn’t going to stop this cycle herself. She thinks that leaving you alone will hurt your feelings, and that Pearl already hates her too much to talk to her again. You’re going to need to take the first step, and bring it up.”

Amethyst groans, but agrees to do it. She confronts Spinel that night, and tells her that she doesn’t need to be babied every day. She tells her that she needs to put Pearl in her place and talk to her. Amethyst had other plans to do!

Spinel only takes a few seconds of protesting to give in. She leaves in a flash

Amethyst knows she’s doing right, she knows Spinel will be happier now.

But she still can’t help feeling bad.

That night, Pearl was on her own in the Sky Arena. She was fighting many versions of herself in a scene that had started as ‘random mode’ with thick fog, but quickly, and subconsciously turned into familiar movements and attacks she had felt and seen before. Back from the war. How did her holo-Pearls change to this? Knowing every attack to come, she was easily winning, just like she did in the field. This was too easy! She needed a challenge! She needed to not have time to THINK on her stupid feelings for once! Rose, she could handle. She was used to the ache. But Spinel? IT was so new, so different, a whole other kind of hurt. She didn’t want to dwell on it!

She slashed at the fourteenth holo-Pearl, noting there were three left. She knew where they were going to strike. Preparing herself, she took her stance, when she heard the voice she was trying to avoid pop up.

“Pearl? Pearl! I’m… I’m free tonight, if you want to talk!”

Pearl lost her composure and groaned. Who did she think she was coming in now? After all that time spent IGNORING her over Amethyst? A holo-Pearl jumped from the side, Pearl quickly dodged her strike and swept her feet from beneath her, striking at her chest. Two more.

“Pearl, I’m… I’m sorry for not paying as much attention to you as before. I really did miss our talks. It’s just… Amethyst is new, you know? She needed my guiding to figure stuff out.”

Her voice was getting closer and it was grating on Pearl’s nerves. Why was she apologizing? Pearl didn’t care! She was perfectly capable of entertaining herself, in fact, her sword skills were just as sharp as they were in the war thanks to all this extra practice she was able to make with the time! She should just go back and reteach Amethyst whatever silly games they played. It’s all they ever seem to do. How childish.

Pearl caught the other holo-Pearl midstep, striking an air attack with a long jump, and plunging the sword into her head. Only one more to go.

“Pearl… we need to talk things through. Establish a system… There’s only one of me to go around, you know?”

The nerve of her! Was she insinuating Pearl wanted her all to herself?! Absolutely preposterous! Pearl only had room for one gem in her heart and that was Rose! She was the one Pearl wanted to keep to herself!

Pearl found the last holo-pearl, and swiped up a surprise attack, expecting to hit it, but Spinel’s last words were spoken.

“You know… I missed hanging out with you too..”

What?

Her blows miss, and the holo-Pearl scatters away from her sight, Pearl trying desperately to regain her flustered stance. Don’t think about it, Pearl! You’re in the middle of fighting!

But that stupid heart-shaped gem keeps running her big fat mouth!

“I really miss our talks. I wanted to chase you lots of times, to go back like before but… that’s just not fair to Amethyst. She’s new, and I’m her… Her best friend. I couldn’t let her down. But in trying not to hurt her feelings, I forgot yours…”

Pearl is so anxiously trying to find the last Holo-Pearl, to destroy it, to destroy these FEELINGS! AUGH, she wishes she could just shut her up!

“I’m sorry, Pearl.”

Pearl flinches and pauses, staring down at her blade. In that millisecond, she hears the whoosh of a sword come for her from behind, and turns with panic, expecting to meet her fate. What she sees instead, is a big hand, gripping the Holo-Pearl’s sword, the glove ripping. She doesn’t have time to process it, as she’s whisked back by an arm, slinked back into the fog. And into Spinel’s chest.

“Need some help?”

Spinel lets go of the sword, bringing down her fist instead to squash the last holo-Pearl like a bug. Pearl can’t help remember all the times in the past when Spinel saved her in the battlefield, moments just like this. She chalks up her blush as embarrassment at her past failures, and pushes Spinel away, clearing out the fog.

“I-I most certainly did NOT! I had it under control, thank you very much!”

Spinel laughs. “I know you did, P. I just couldn’t help myself. Seeing you in danger makes me…” Spinel looks away, twisting her stretchy arms nervously, a small pink blush creeping into her own cheeks. “It just makes me act without thinking…”

Pearl stares a bit too long, but snaps out of it when Spinel almost catches her. What a mess this night is!

Pearl crosses her arms and starts walking away, wanting to just go to her room. Spinel still needed answers, though.

“Pearl, please…” She grasps Pearl’s hand softly, not pulling to keep her there. She’s pleading.

Pearl can’t help sigh.

“FINE. You win. I’m.” She grips her stomach now in discomfort, looking at the ground with a sour look. “I’m sorry too. For… treating you like that. Next time, you should just clarify to me what you’re doing, we could’ve avoided all this, you know!”

Spinel sucks in air, letting out a breathy, low laugh that makes Pearl feel a little something she doesn’t want to analyze at all.

“Deal.”

Pearl touches her face, feeling it hot. She needed to control herself more, she felt absolutely ridiculous, getting this worked up over a misunderstanding! She was better than this! She cleared her throat and finally turned to face Spinel.

“Well. Now that this is settled. I do have new information I could catch you up on. You won’t believe who Rose is dating now… Uuugh, I thought the milkman was bad, this guy calls himself a world class spy! There’s nothing stealthy about him! What a failure of a lie!”

Spinel smiles, and they move to sit on the audience seats, Pearl feeling better with each sentence she lets out. It felt so good to have Spinel back. Maybe this friendship wasn’t so bad…

Maybe Pearl could live with getting her hugs and attention…

… Maybe she found it hard now to live without them.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

BLORP. That’s all I can provide you guys with for this segment! Ugh, I feel like every time I say something will be short now, will be a lie! MY shipping feels DID NOT let me make this simple paragraphs, and instead, fleshed them into full on fragments of story. I’m a mess.

I can’t promise this next installation coming next week. I can’t say sorry enough, but this month will be the busiest in my life. I need to finish a portfolio I’m still in the developmental stage of. I need to be able to win this competition to be able to graduate. So much pressure ;-;

Thanks to the peeps who replied to my update post on this chapter being late. You guys are mvps

You guys make my day. I hope this installation is enough for my fellow shippers for now. The next segment will continue this into moments when Steven comes in. I had to cut this in half because of time, and my refusal to make anything simple >:T AUGH. Thanks for the support

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