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#and i put a LOT more effort into this than i thought i was going to and it is purely just because i love her so much
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in a world of boys, he's a gentleman . . .
gentlemanly things the jjk men do ! feat. gojo, nanami, geto, choso, higuruma, yuuji, megumi
fluff, headcanons, dubious grammar
by @cinnamon-girl-writes
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gojo
Im’ma be real, it was hard af to come up with something serious for this man
but I’m gonna go with: he always opens doors for you and never lets you open them yourself
whether it be your car door or a restaurant, he’s always there just a step ahead of you to make sure his princes doesn’t have to do any work <3
*coughs* he also does it to stare at your ass from behind *coughs*
nanami
opposite of gojo, i couldn’t stop thinking of gentlemanly things this man *wouldn’t* do— anyways
nanami is the man who compliments you on more than just your appearance <3
of course, he tells you how beautiful you are all the time
but the best thing about this man is when he tells you how smart you are, or how he loves that your jokes always make him laugh
he’ll compliment your dtermined attitude or your loving nature
if you’ve been working really hard lately, he takes notice and tells you that you’re doing great
overall just. 10/10
geto
soooo geto has a history (in canon) of feeling unneeded/underappreciated
SO wwhat i think he’d always do for his partner is make a deliberate effort to tell them that
every day he finds a way to tell you: you matter to me and i need you in my life <3
sometimes it’s random, like when you’re laying and the couch and he tells you
or sometimes it’s more of a show, like him taking you out to dinner just to show you he appreciates you
choso
while romantic relationships are a little new to him, he treats his relationship with you very seriously
that being said, he notices whenever you’re stressed out about something
so to help you with this, he takes on whatever tasks are burdening you: your kids are driving you crazy? he’s great with kids. the dishes on your counter have been sitting there for two weeks? don’t worry, he’s got it
overall probably one of the best on this list
higuruma
this man- *ovulates*
anyways . . .  like nanami he’s another epitome of gentlemanliness, however higuruma doesn’t have that much free time to spend with you because of his job as a lawyer
so when he is with you, he deliberatly asks you about how your day was. he’ll listen to every word you say and ask questions, wanting to get every detail out of you (and also, maybe he just likes the sound of your voice :))
but regardless, hearing about your day is very important to him
oh, you’ve got gossip about people he doesn’t even know?? he’s SAT
he listens to every detail, stopping you to ask questions and make sure he’s following the story
the KING of giving advice
yuuji
yuuji doesn’t necessasrily stick to formalities, but one thing he always pays attention to is the SIDEWALK RULE <3
like you swear this guy has a sixth sense or something because you literally never find yourself walking on the outside of the sidewalk
if you ever ask him about it, he just says he doesn’t do it on purpose but just always puts your safety first
megumi
poor megs didn’t really have a great example of being a gentleman growing up :( so this stuff is kind of hard for him
i would say in general he just has a pretty hard time with giving/recieving affection
but that being said, megumi puts a lot of thought into everything in your relationship
dates that he plans out are always extremely well thought out according to your interests and likes
his gifts are usually hand made, but if he does pick something out it’s very personal, usually something that you’ve been mentioning a lot lately
a/n: no i did not inclde toji because as much as i love his broke ass, for the life of me i could not think of one single gentlemanly thing about him
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justlemmeadoreyou · 3 days
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Hiii bestie!!! What about angstyy blurb but with happy ending like H being really rude nd yelling at her cause she broke his flower vase or something like that nd she is quietly crying nd then he see her nd stops yelling nd then consoling her!!!!
Sorry for so long request:( but love ur all stories 💖
and i love you! thank you for reading my writing .💞💞hope you like this one
words: 800+
warnings: yelling, crying, angst. fluff at the end.
***
"What the bloody hell were you thinking?" Harry's voice boomed through the small flat.
Y/N flinched at his harsh tone, shrinking back a little. She had accidentally knocked over the vase of flowers he had gotten her for their anniversary last week while cleaning.
"I-I'm so sorry, Harry. It was an accident, I swear," she said, her voice wavering.
Harry ran a frustrated hand through his already messy hair. "Those were from our anniversary! Do you have any idea how much those cost? How could you be so careless?"
Tears welled up in Y/N's eyes at his angry words. She knew he had spent a lot on those flowers, but it truly had been a complete accident. The vase had been precariously placed on the edge of the table.
"I didn't mean to, I p-promise," she said, a tear escaping down her cheek. "I'll clean it up right away."
She moved to grab some towels and the dustpan but Harry stopped her with a firm hand on her arm. "No, just…just leave it. I'll take care of it."
Y/N nodded meekly, trying her best to hold back the rest of her tears. Harry's grip on her arm was almost painfully tight. She pulled her arm back gently and stepped away, heading for the small bathroom. Once inside with the door locked, she let the damn burst.
Harsh sobs wracked her body as she leaned against the bathroom counter. She hated when Harry got angry like that, especially over something so trivial. The flowers had been beautiful, but they were just flowers. She hadn't meant to knock them over. His harsh words and icy glare cut deeper than he probably realized.
Out in the living room, Harry was trying to regain his composure as he cleaned up the mess of water, dirt, and broken ceramic. He hadn't meant to fly off the handle like that, but seeing those flowers - a gift he had put so much thought and effort into - carelessly destroyed had set him off.
As the anger began to dissipate, shame started creeping in. The look of fear and hurt on Y/N's face made his chest ache. He shouldn't have yelled at her like that, especially not over some stupid flowers. She was so good to him, so loving and caring. She didn't deserve to be treated that way.
Lost in his thoughts, Harry didn't immediately notice the muffled sobs coming from the bathroom. His head whipped towards the sound and he felt his heart plummet into his stomach.
Y/N was crying. Because of him.
He tossed the towels aside and quickly made his way to the bathroom door, knocking lightly.
"Y/N? Love, open the door, please," he called gently.
There was a sniffle from the other side before her shaky voice responded. "Go away, Harry. I…I need a minute."
"No, sweetheart, please let me in," he pleaded. "I'm so sorry I yelled, I didn't mean to hurt you like that."
The lock clicked and the door cracked open slowly. Y/N peered out, her eyes red and puffy from crying. A fresh wave of guilt washed over Harry.
"Oh, love," he whispered, pulling her into his arms.
She went willingly, burying her face in his chest as the tears started anew. Harry rubbed soothing circles on her back, pressing kisses into her hair.
"I'm so sorry, Y/N," he murmured. "I was way out of line. Those flowers didn't matter, not compared to you. Nothing is more important than you."
Y/N sniffled against his shirt. "B-But you seemed so upset about them. I didn't mean to ruin your gift like that."
"Shh, shh, it's okay," Harry assured her. "I overreacted completely. They were just flowers, an object that can be replaced. You're my whole world, Y/N. I love you more than anything."
He tilted her chin up so he could look into her beautiful eyes. They were still watery with tears, but there was a glimmer of hope in them now.
"You mean that?" she asked quietly. "You're not still mad?"
Harry shook his head adamantly. "Not at all, darling. I'm sorry I made you think that some dumb flowers were more important than you feeling loved and safe. That was incredibly stupid of me."
A small smile tugged at the corners of Y/N's lips and she leaned up to kiss him softly. "I love you, Harry. So much."
He returned her kiss with every ounce of love and adoration he felt for this woman. "I love you too, more than you'll ever know. Now, what do you say we cuddle up on the couch and watch a cheesy movie? My treat."
Y/N giggled, the final tears drying on her cheeks. "I'd like that a lot."
As they settled onto the couch, Harry pulled Y/N close, peppering her face with soft kisses.
"Thank you for being so patient and forgiving with me, my love," he said earnestly. "You deserve the world."
Y/N nuzzled her face into the crook of his neck, leaving a lingering kiss there. "As long as I have you, that's all the world I need."
♡~~~♡~~~♡~~~♡~~~♡~~~♡~~~♡~~~♡~~~♡~~~♡~~~♡~~~♡~~~♡~~~♡
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mgjong · 2 days
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With Kotoko getting the guilty verdict, I have seen some people speculating about this so I wanted to make a poll (it has probably been done before but please indulge me)
My own thoughts for each character under the cut
So, this is a little complicated. I would like to start by saying I find it very unlikely for her to come out of this unscathed. Could happen, but I feel like for narrative purposes they would want her to be hurt in some capacity. It could just be the psychological strain the voices will have on her but again, I don't think she will be "fine". Now for the characters and possible arguments.
Fuuta This one is hard. If you know Fuuta well, you know he doesn't actually like violence. Far from it, he is the kind of person who avoids it and is terrified of it. While his words come off as brash and aggressive that's usually all he has. However we have seen he WILL resort to it as a desperate effort, either to try and help someone or out of anger, to try to show he is not weak.
The impression Fuuta has given me is that he is, well, afraid of Kotoko to put it simply. And while he shows very clearly his dislike for her and what she did to him he seems to have mitigated most of that anger towards Es since at the end of the day the judgment was up to them. Would an innocent verdict lead him to believe he is now in the right to hurt her back? In my opinion, unlikely. By voting Kotoko guilty and him innocent this trial we have, in a way, admitted our mistake to him. Fuuta has felt immense guilt for what he has done from the start, at the end of his second voice drama he was begging for our forgiveness. And we gave it to him. I think it would be counterintuitive for him to then go and attack Kotoko after this. I would like to believe that he has learned his lesson in a sense.
However, we must keep in mind what I stated earlier. Fuuta CAN be violent and will resort to it, especially when he feels like he has something to prove or is backed into a corner, usually on an impulse. So maybe given the right conditions he could lash out against her. However that would depend way more on her attitude towards the others than anything else.
Lastly, and I think this is what makes his case complicated is the possibility of him being influenced by Amane and her religion. As we know, revenge and punishment are very present in Amane's cult values and with Fuuta seeming more and more indoctrinated each day, I am starting to wonder if those could have any influence on his actions, leading him to actually take revenge.
However, from the last 2 timelines he sounds very tired with the way he’s speaking, exhausted even, from both the psychological toll of everything plus the constant physical pain. He also went to both Mahiru and Haruka in an attempt to try and help them though one mistook it for just nice words and the other refused his help to which, due to his exhaustion, he quickly gave up and brushed it off. So I wouldn’t say he’d have the strength and energy to try something against Kotoko even if the cult “punishment” ideals got into his head. Considering he lashes out when he feels cornered I think he’d only feel the need to if Kotoko, somehow, was still a danger towards him and the others. And still, I don’t think he would be able to do much damage since he is canonically the weakest of the guys (and Kotoko) in terms of strength.
Shidou This one seems to be based a lot on Triage's lyrics of "To extract that fang'' and Shidou's and Kotoko's very apparent animosity for each other. Having said that, do I think Shidou could attack her? No... not really. First I think those lyrics are referencing his attempts to help the ones Kotoko hurt, to reverse the damage she did. And while I find his innocent percentage to be very worrying I don't think it will be manifested that way. If anything, Shidou has Kotoko to thank for giving him a purpose and reason to live (even when he dislikes her). Not to mention how violence is... simply not his style. Shidou has said it himself. And while he can be "cold" I don't think he would just go and attack Kotoko. Especially when he will have bigger issues to worry about in the form of a certain child.
Now, what I can see him doing is something more in the case if Kotoko were to get hurt by other means. He could deny her treatment and/or make sure she doesn't recover from her wounds. But again I don't really think he would do it. Shidou currently attributes his life purpose to saving the lives in front of him and we encouraged this mindset with his innocent verdict. I don't think he would want to lose a chance to be useful, even if that patient was someone he despised.
John Alright this one I have very specific thoughts on. (Mikoto fans, you are free to tell me I am wrong.) First, I know John isn't stupid. He values Mikoto's well-being above everything else, which was made very clear. He would NOT risk him getting another guilty verdict by attacking another prisoner, right? Maybe. Listen, I think this one is complicated and depends a lot on what Kotoko will do.
I don't think John would go out of his way to attack Kotoko. After all, we have given Mikoto the innocent verdict, he will be (I hope) way less stressed, giving John less reasons to front. With Kotoko being restrained due to her guilty she would also be less of a threat to Mikoto. However if something were to happen... If Kotoko were to get free and try to attack someone in a fit of rage over her verdict... Well, we know who is the person she currently despises the most. We also know John and Kotoko are tied in terms of strength but with Kotoko being impaired from the guilty verdict it's very obvious who would have the upper hand.
And here is the thing: if Kotoko were fighting someone like Kazui, I am sure he would stop her, but in a way that didn't cause her any further harm. Would John also do that? Or would John feel the need to make sure Kotoko couldn't be a threat to Mikoto anymore? After all, we seem to be on his side, we considered Kotoko guilty for her actions. Wouldn't John feel justified enough to do this, especially with Kotoko being the one to attack first? I don't know, I just fear something will happen with Mikoto. There is a reason 09 and 10 were added later, that being to provide more "drama" to the narrative. There is also this line from John on a tl saying he would "beat Kotoko at her own game" but I... really don't want to dwell on the implications of that. Especially because I do believe John is very genuine in his care for Mikoto. I mean cmon you guys have seen Double and listened to Neoplasm!
Kotoko Well I don't really have much to say here. We know how self destructive she is, we have seen how much she disregards her own emotions and her own pain. We have seen how much she actually hates herself. I wouldn't put it past her. Maybe not in a "I am guilty so I guess I'll hurt myself" way but more out of resignation and anger with her whole situation or even by making stupid decisions. For example, I don't think at this point she would fight back much if someone were to try and hurt her. I really don't have much more to say about this, it's Kotoko Yuzuriha.
Don't have much on the other prisoners, maybe in very specific conditions??? No clue, Yamanaka might surprise us who knows.
So what is my conclusion? The most likely case to me is that Kotoko hurts herself either directly or by making a very stupid decision like attacking someone she shouldn't.
What about you?
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Dispatch! (The Ossan's Love Episode)
And we're back!
NiNi and Ben bring our friend @twig-tea to the show to talk about the entire Ossan's Love series. We'll talk about the way this franchise evolves over time, the difficulties of comedy, what it means to love older queer men, and how this show tackles the complexities of family and masculinity.
Timestamps
The timestamps will now correspond with chapters on Spotify for easier navigation.
00:00:00 - Welcome 00:01:15 - Introduction and Some Context 00:06:25 - Ossan’s Love History and Summary 00:13:42 - The Characters 00:28:23 - Love or Dead and In The Sky 00:39:00 - Ossan’s Love Returns 00:45:33 - Final Thoughts and Ratings
The Conversation Transcripts!
Thanks to the continued efforts of @ginnymoonbeam as transcriber, and @lurkingshan as an editor and proofreader, we are able to bring you transcripts of the episodes.
We will endeavor to make the transcripts available when the episodes launch, and it is our goal to make them available for past episodes (Coming soon thanks to @wen-kexing-apologist). When transcripts are available, we will attach them to the episode post (like this one) and put the transcript behind a Read More cut to cut down on scrolling.
Please send our volunteers your thanks!
00:00:00 - Welcome
NiNi
Welcome to The Conversation About BL, aka The Brown Liquor Podcast.
Ben
And there it is. I’m Ben.
NiNi
I’m NiNi.
Ben
And we’re you’re drunk Caribbean uncle and auntie here sitting on the porch in the rocking chairs.
NiNi
Four times a year we pop in to talk about what’s going on in the BL world.
Ben
We shoot the shit about stories and all the drama going into them. I review from a queer media lens.
NiNi
And I review from a romance and drama lens.
Ben
So if you like cracked-out takes and really intense emotional analysis…
NiNi
If you like talking about artistry, industry, and the discourse…
Ben
And if you generally just love simping…
NiNi
There is a lot of simping on this podcast…
Ben
We are the show for you!
00:01:15 - Introduction and Some Context
Ben
And we're back! 
This week, we are covering all of Ossan's Love, from 2016 through 2024. We have brought on a special guest for this special episode as we're going to talk about the longest-running BL project. We have brought on our friend @twig-tea.
Twig
Hello.
NiNi
Hi, Twig. Welcome to the show.
Twig
Thank you so much for having me.
NiNi
New friend of the pod. Super excited to have you here. Twig is what we delightfully referred to as a ‘fandom old.’ I'm very excited to be having this conversation with two fandom olds in here, Twig and Ben, because, dear listeners, I have not had the time to watch Ossan's Love, so this is gonna be interesting. Ben and Twig are gonna school me.
Twig
We'll do our best.
Ben
This is going to be an interesting episode because we're going to be talking about a project that was somewhat overlooked by fandom, myself included, until the last couple of months. And I'm a little bit salty about it, and so I wanted to bring on somebody who has watched all of this in real time, and I thought that their perspective would be helpful. 
Twig, you are new to our listeners. Why don't you tell them a little bit about yourself in fandom and your history with queer cinema and BL?
Twig
I actually started on the GL side, which is a little bit different than I think a lot of folks in the BL fandom. I started with getting into Sailor Moon and got involved with a group of women who started Yuricon. The first Yuricon was held in Newark, NJ, in 2003 and I was the secretary. 
From there, there just wasn't enough GL content, and so I got into BL, too. I was really into Japanese manga, was part of a few scanlation groups, got oversaturated, stepped away, came back in 2016 to be shocked at the fact that a whole lot of the stuff that I used to watch was now made into live action. 
The YouTube algorithm in late 2016—early 2017—fed me Lovesick and I sort of went, “Hello. What's this?” Then watched Make it Right and was hooked on Thai BL. Tried to backfill as much as I could, so I watched Gray Rainbow, and Diary of Tootsies, and all this stuff that nobody talks about, really, anymore. 
One of the things about fandom at that time was that the way you found stuff was digging and a prayer, and random people making random lists, and it was very hard to tell how good those lists were. And so I managed that by watching everything and making my own opinions. And that is why I watched Ossan’s Love when it aired, or as soon as I could get my hands on it.
NiNi
So we're talking like real, real old school. We're talking about “Oh God, maybe some fansubber might help us out here.”
Twig
Fuckin’, like, Internet relay chat.
NiNi
IRC was my job back in the day.
Twig
Yes!
NiNi
I was talking about other things—not BL, but I was there.
Ben
Twig has sketchy as shit DVDs that were handed to her by a fan that have not great rip but really solid subs.
Twig
Bought in a mall parking lot with Mandarin subtitles that we used to watch with my friends who spoke Mandarin so they could translate for us in real time. It was hard. We used to walk uphill both ways back in the day.
Ben
A lot of folks who have been in this for a long time—we joked that we watched everything because we had to. You have done a better job of keeping track of what you've watched.
Twig
I wish I'd done better. I only really started tracking things in 2020. I did try to backfill the years before that, but I only really captured all of the major series. There was so many shorts, and things like that, I just couldn't do. But my spreadsheet has about 600 things on it, 606 as of today.
Ben
Incredible.
NiNi
I have been watching media overall—like seriously watching media—for…30 years…and I have not watched 606 of anything.
Ben
Nah, I believe her. It adds up. I engage with close to 100 BLs every year for the last 2-3 years.
NiNi
Clearly I'm not in these streets with y'all.
[Twig laughs]
Ben
I'm so glad Twig has showed up because it has given me permission to not watch so much.
NiNi
I bow down to you guys, because there was a point in time where, trying to keep up with week-to-week, I was watching something like eight shows at a time and I literally felt like my head was on fire. So, I don't know how you guys do it.
Ben
Practice. [laughs]
NiNi
We talked about this on the show, how last year I watched 50 things, maybe, for the whole year, and I felt like I was losing my mind. I usually watch like 15.
Ben
50 is good. Like, that's a really healthy number.
Twig
That is. That's pretty solid.
NiNi
As in five-zero? 
Ben
Yeah, no, that's great!
NiNi
A year?! 
Ben
Yeah! And we made a whole fucking show out of it! It’s good!
NiNi
Deep breaths. Okay, let's continue. Let's go on. [laughs]
00:06:25 - Ossan’s Love History and Summary
NiNi
Let's get into Ossan's Love. Ben, do the honors, tell us what is Ossan's Love about?
Ben
Actually, I want to do this one a little bit differently. 
NiNi, you have not engaged with Ossan's Love. The most you have is the fandom vibe on it from the periphery. What is your impression of Ossan's Love prior to all of us posting a lot about the new show?
NiNi
When you say periphery, I think you're being incredibly generous. There was one where they’re flight attendants maybe, or something to do with an airline. I am aware of that. And then there was something with a boss. There was a thing about a shower. There's some dirty jokes that go over my head because they're referential to this show. But in terms of my awareness of Ossan’s Love, it's honestly not much. 
Did I get any of those things correct by the way?
Twig
You totally did.
Ben
You did. I almost shouted “Dispatch” when you mentioned the airport. [Twig and Ben laugh] 
All right. So, I will give what I knew of Ossan's Love prior to earnestly engaging with it: Ossan's Love is a workplace-set drama in which a guy who works in an office is being pursued by a colleague of the same age as him and his boss—who is like 20-plus-odd years older than him. At the time when I didn't watch it, the fandom vibe on it was that it was fairly offensive, particularly around the old guy character. And, when it was hard to find this show, I was like, “Whatever, I'm not going to work that hard for a show that people seem really put off by.” I have had to make sure that I check if I am riding an old fandom opinion from prior to 2019 when it comes to older work, because those opinions are usually not informed by the lens that I use. And so I decided to engage with Ossan's Love properly. 
Before we start describing what the show is specifically, Twig, what do you remember about your experience watching the show in real time and the popular opinions about it?
Twig
So, the first thing is real time had really different meanings back then because we didn't have international distribution. It was sort of when things were fan subbed and when you could find them and knew they existed. So, I actually didn't get to watch the short until years after the original. So my first outing with Ossan’s Love was season one. 
At the time, it felt like if you liked it, you should be quiet about it, because the opinion was so negative that you would be shouted down if you said anything positive about it. So I just sort of stayed in my corner of enjoyment and tried not to think too hard about it.
Ben
That is unfortunately how I remember it being. It was not popular to say positive things about Ossan’s Love at the time. Even the fans of Ossan's Love seemed super ambivalent about the second season, which was an alternative universe.
Twig
Yeah. When Season 2 aired it was an even wider swing. The people who really loved Season 1 seemed to hate Season 2. I actually like Season 2 better than Season 1, so I was even more like, [laughs] “Okay, I guess I don't know what I'm talking about, guys, so I'm just gonna stay over here and let you all have your opinions over there.”
Ben
So our quick timeline: we have Ossan’s Love the TV special in 2016. We have Ossan’s Love the TV show airing during spring of 2018. They released the movie Ossan’s Love: Love or Dead —that went into theaters on August 23rd of 2019—and then a few months later, in November, they released Ossan’s Love: In The Sky. It's my understanding that Ossan’s Love Returns was originally supposed to air in, like, 2020-2021. They've returned to that project this year in 2024.
NiNi
I know they're going to be doing a Thai version of this coming up and they also have the Hong Kong version?
Twig
That's right. Yep. There was a Hong Kong version in I think 2021 or 2022.
NiNi
I love when they take a property and they remake it across cultures over and over again. I'm always intrigued to see how they turn out.
Ben
Have you watched the Hong Kong version, Twig?
Twig
I peeked at it. It's really true to season one in a lot of ways. I haven't actually watched it all the way through because I was like, “If I want to rewatch season one, I'll just rewatch season one.”
Ben
I feel like I have to watch it at some point. 
All right, so let's get into Ossan’s Love properly now: Ossan’s Love is about a 33 year old man named Haruta who is a slob. He is a hot mess of a man. He cannot take care of himself. He lives with his mom, and she does all the housework. She decides to bail on him and go run off with the hot new man she's with. And so he asks his colleague, whose name is Maki, to move in with him to help him out because Maki is very good at house chores. 
He learns accidentally that his boss, whose name is Kurasawa Musashi, has had a crush on him for a long time and also simultaneously learns that Maki has been crushing on him for a long time. Hijinks ensue as the two of them begin aggressively pursuing him, and he is not prepared for this sudden surge in gay activities.
Twig
One thing I add to your description, Ben, is it's a comedy.
Ben
So this is where things get a little bit complicated. Comedy is hard to do correctly, because a big part of comedy is playing with people's preconceptions of how an interaction should go. A lot of folks struggle with Japanese comedy because they're just not aware of the expectations for how an interaction should go, and so the humor is not landing on them, and this can happen even in your own culture. Like, if you showed a teenager today Airplane, many of the jokes in that movie would make no sense to them because they're missing some of the cultural context. Some of that exists with peoples engagement with Ossan's Love, I think.
Twig
I think that's right.
00:13:42 - The Characters 
Ben
The big part about Ossan's Love that impresses me is how the show gets better each time they come back. There are things that are kind of yikes in the short that are tweaked out in the first show. There are things that they retooled Haruta and Kurosawa over in the airport season. And then, in the most recent season, Ossan's Love Returns, they've shifted where the focus of their storytelling is after everything that's going on. So we are seeing the same characters, but they're dealing with much different dynamics. 
So, Ossan's Love Returns was a completely acceptable point for a lot of people to jump on, and I almost just jumped on. But, I like to know how we got here. So I was like, “I must watch all of this first!” [laughs]
NiNi
I was about to say on what point were you ever gonna just jump on without going back into the before times? You, sir, are a historian and a completionist.
Ben
Of course. And so I went back and watched. 
Twig, since you didn't have a lot of people to talk about Ossan's Love with at the time, how about you talk about your impressions of Haruta, Maki, and Kurosawa when you first engaged with it?
Twig
The thing that stuck with me is that, even in 2018, it felt a little more queer than a lot of the other stuff I was watching alongside it at the time. Haruta and Maki, and all of the characters, play into that in different ways. Haruta is an extremely frustrating character. I just wanted to reach through the screen and strangle him through most of season one, and I think that's partially intentional. 
Haruta is set up as the literal straight man. He's there to be what your average straight guy reaction might be when confronted with gayness, and everyone around him literally slaps him and tells him he's being an idiot. Delightful, but it doesn't make the character himself very likable at first. The fact that he grows on you anyway, even while he's being so frustrating, speaks to the other strengths in his character: his kindness, and the way he values his coworkers. And I think the later seasons did a really good job of picking up the things that made Haruta such a great character, and enforcing that in the character writing itself to make him more likable overall. 
I loved Kurosawa from jump. I think he's [laughs] incredible. He lives life on 11, and I think watching an older man step through some of the more standard romance tropes very clumsily but earnestly is incredibly charming. 
Maki is the competent character. He's also a self-actualized gay man. He at no point questions his sexuality at all, has no crisis about it. He knows who he is and what he's attracted to. And that was also really refreshing for BL at the time.
NiNi
Describing the kind of character that Kurosawa is made me think of Ben describing characters like Shin from Minato's Laundromat. When you tend to see these younger characters who are full on gung-ho chasing after the ones that they like, people like that. But they don't like the boss because they don't think their character should be doing that.
Twig
When I was first telling Ben about my opinions about the show, I said one of the things I struggle with is whether Kurosawa is telling the joke or is the joke. I think the more I have watched and rewatched, especially in later seasons, they do a really good job of him being a funny character and we're not laughing at him. He's not the butt of the joke, he's just funny. The people who would be turned off by an old guy hitting on a younger guy no matter what were turned off by that character and the ones who were sympathetic to older men also having romance in their lives were turned off by the idea that it was a comedy.
Ben
The comedy in the way Kurosawa pursues Haruta is about the age gap, not the fact that he's an old man. It's that he's at a different stage of his life. He's not fumbling to figure out stuff, he knows what he wants and his time is limited, so he's pursuing it determinately and also because he's older, he's behaving in line with his generation.
Like, if you don't have friends who are more than 10 years older than you, sometimes you're going to get weirded out by their cultural stuff. Like right now, I'm reaching the age gap with some of the kids I tutor, and I had to deal with all the various iterations on rizz and I don’t like it. 
[Twig and NiNi laugh]
I had an 8 year old call himself The Rizzler the other day and I almost pushed him down.
Twig 
Oh no.
NiNi
Oh my God.
Ben
I understand the concern around Kurosawa. But that is not what I think the show is doing, and even if it accidentally does it, that is not the show’s intent. Haruta is dealing with the sudden shift in his relationships with men who are important to him. Maki was just like his friend and colleague, who he was low-key mooching off of to do housework for him, and he has to deal with the fact that the only reason Maki is willing to put up with him is because Maki likes him. With Kurosawa, a big part of their relationship is the fact that he respects and admires him so much. The relationship between them is very paternal in a lot of ways?
Twig
A mentorship.
Ben
Yeah, he sees Kurosawa as a respected mentor and Kurosawa respects Haruta as well as a valued member of his team. A big part of the show is them sorting out the way that affection complicates some of these relationships, and we as the audience have to struggle with why these men like this man. Haruta is fucking useless in the household. He may be good at his job, but he is horrible at house related stuff. And so the question is why would anyone want him? 
And this is not rhetorical for the show. They really want you to grapple with this. The fact that Haruta is kind of repulsive as a romantic interest is something the show wants you to think about. You have to work to understand why so many people are into Haruta, and I think this gets better overtime.
Twig
They do a really good job with all of the women characters in this show, which was super rare for the time and still worth saying. His best friend Chizu also is terrible at housework, but she's a woman, and so she's struggling with the expectation that she get married and she keeps talking about how she needs to find somebody who does for her what Haruta’s men are willing to do for him. I just love putting those two characters side by side. And the silent question that's asked of the audience. That's like, why is this okay for Haruta, but not for Chizu.
Ben
It's not really subtle. As the show goes on, Maki won't really commit to Haruta because Haruta is ostensibly straight. Maki is hesitant about full committing because it's hard to be gay, like you got a lot to face as a gay person and he doesn't know that Haruta is going to stand up to all that. He's kind of a waffly type of dude. He's kind of a people pleaser who won't really stand up to anyone. This is kind of good for him as a salesperson. It's obvious why all their clients like Haruta. But it makes him kind of unreliable as a partner because you're not certain he's going to hold ground with you when the world is telling you that you shouldn't be together. 
The first season ends on a really cool note, ‘cause Maki and Haruta break up and Haruta just falls apart. And Kurosawa moves in with him for a while to help take care of him. For Kurosawa, it's a romantic thing, but it very much feels like someone’s parent going to take care of their kid. Haruta recognized where he failed with Maki, and he starts trying to help out with house stuff a little bit. But it's not like he suddenly becomes like a great housekeeper. I really liked that choice, that he starts putting in an effort but he's still horrible at it. 
Kurosawa ends up proposing to Haruta. Haruta has a hard time saying no to people, so he accepts. Also, he used a flash mob. It's hard to say no when someone flash mobs you.
NiNi
Pause. Pause for cause.
Twig
Michael Jackson-themed flash mob.
NiNi
Okay, not pausing. Unpausing. Go ahead.
Ben
Kurosawa is always at 11. He is an incredible character and like he and Haruta are going to get married and at the altar, Kurosawa is like. You need to go to him. You don't actually want to be here. And so Haruta runs to Maki and proposes to him at the end of the first season. 
And then there's just an incredible supporting cast in the show. I don't think we have time to talk about all of them properly, but. Haruta’s friend Chizu’s older brother Teppei runs a little bar diner that they often hang out at. He's so funny, always giving them weird gross food combinations to try out. They’re’s Maro, who's a member of their team who did not know Haruta’s given name for the years they worked together, there's Maika, who's kind of a nosy busybody at their work. She's a great source of comedy, ends up with Teppei. There's Takegawa, who's the second at their office in the first season, who is revealed to be Maki’s ex later. And he is intense as hell and becomes a complicating factor in the budding relationship between Haruta and Maki because he challenges Haruta. He's like, why is he putting this much effort into you? You suck! I really love the Takegawa character because he is a hot mess.
Twig
He just is so pained at Maki falling for a straight man. Something that is deeply relatable for anybody in queer spaces. [NiNi laughs] Like we have all been that person. Like, what are you doing to yourself?
Ben
I want to nod to Choko real quick. In the first season, Kurosawa has a wife of 30 years. Her name is Choko. Once his feelings for Haruta become known to Haruta, he decides he's going to pursue them and he tells this to his wife and they get divorced. She is understandably upset about this whole situation. But what's so great about it is, the show allows her to have a journey of figuring out what her life is going to be now that this information is out there. Like, she was hurt and upset at first, but then decides to support Kurosawa because this is her partner of 30 years and she understands him, so she ends up eventually supporting what he's trying to do with Haruta. And she ends up developing her own relationship with Maro. 
It's really cool in this show where there's this whole complicated thing about whether or not these three gay men are going to sort themselves out into various relationship configurations, they're also doing a pretty steep successful age gap romance between like a 30-something year old man and a woman approaching 60.
Twig
I love Choko's arc so much. It's the one thing that stayed with me the most. She is also allowed to be funny. She's silly and immature in the same ways that the male characters are. She's not perfect either. And I think that is super important that she's a complicated character. 
I think it's really important that this show talks about the ways in which homophobia and being in the closet hurts everyone, not just gay people. I think this show does a good job of at least alluding to the fact that the hurt that's caused by people having to live lies makes waves in communities.
NiNi
I like when they put that on older characters, as well. There's so much to unpack when you're talking about a life lived in the closet, emerging from a life lived in the closet later on in life. What you're gonna do with that life and how you're gonna treat it. From what you guys are saying about Kurosawa, it’s like he just decided to take life by the balls once he came out of the closet, and that's always something that I enjoy seeing.
Ben 
I guess, well, on some of the negatives. The humor is choppy in the first season. You do have to recalibrate as you're watching. It is very funny, but in ways that are unexpected. You will end up feeling a sense of revulsion in the show, particularly to season one Haruta. When I started going back to it, I had a difficult time with the first episode because I'm asking myself why would anyone want to fuck this man? [NiNi and Twig laugh] That is a real and valid reaction that you have to work with as you're watching the show. And so parts of it are a little bit difficult to watch in that regard. 
And Kurosawa is a huge character. You have to take time to get to know him and understand him and understand where his behaviors are coming from. And if you're not willing to do that work, the show is super off putting. 
Twig 
It is loud. You do have to allow your comedy ear to calibrate to its shouting. 
Ben 
However, I will say that if you want to see romance in BL about older characters, Ossan’s Love is right there. The entire drama is about 30-somethings and much older dealing with life and love. There is no wistful stuff about “things were easier when we were kids” in this show at all. It is very much grounded in the perspective and dramas that people in their 30s and 40s and 50s are dealing with in life and romance. 
Twig 
I feel like the one other thing that I always feel the need to call out about the first season is Haruta, because of what his character is struggling with, is physically uncomfortable with displays of affection, and particularly with kissing, in the first season. And that can be off putting too, but he makes it clear verbally that he's not actually against physical affection, he's just familiar with it? It is one of the things that the show does better later on.
00:28:23 - Love or Dead and In The Sky
Ben 
Let's talk about the movie! Ossan’s Love: Love or Dead. 
Twig 
[laughs] Every time I think about that title, it makes me laugh, ‘cause it's just so extra. 
NiNi 
I'm sorry, Love or Dead? 
Ben
Mhmm.
Twig 
Oh yeah. 
Ben 
The premise of this movie is at the end of season one, Haruta got an opportunity to go work in Shanghai for about six months, and the guys are going to be facing a separation for a bit. There's drama when Maki goes to pick up Haruta ‘cause he's found in a compromising position, and a big part of this is Maki still dealing with his anxiety around whether or not Haruta can be a partner to him. Maki gets selected to be part of this high-powered real estate team, and there's a bunch of drama that unfolds involving a partnership with a drug peddling organization and then we end on like an action note where they have to rescue Haruta from a burning building. 
Twig 
There are explosions. 
Ben 
Lots of explosions. 
NiNi 
This sounds… delightful. This sounds like exactly my kind of crack. 
Ben 
You should watch it sincerely. 
Twig 
It is delightful. 
Ben 
If you're not certain about Ossan’s Love, legit, watching Ossan’s Love: Love or Dead is not a terrible place to start. It's a two-hour outing that covers the basic ground of the franchise, has some really strong moments, and is super cracked out. 
What's so fun in it is, we talk about the retooling of the characters. In season one, Maki and Kurosawa beef a lot over Haruta and legit get into physical brawls over it. This is a feature of the entire franchise. These men scrap on the regular. There's this great moment when they're trying to rescue Haruta from this building where Kurosawa's role as their mentor comes through and he reads Maki about how he's always holding back in the relationship. That's what I think works for me the most in this franchise, the collective love that everyone has for each other. It's true that Kurosawa is not going to succeed as a romantic rival to Maki in this story, but that doesn't mean that he's not important to everyone and everything going on. And I really, truly love that. 
Twig 
His mentorship relationship with Maki really starts to flourish in the movie, the moment where Maki’s hanging off of a ledge and Kurosawa is helping him physically back onto the ledge so he doesn’t fall into the flames, but also verbally telling him what he needs to do to save his relationship. This movie is not subtle with its metaphors. But it's such a good moment where we realize that Kurosawa plays that role for Maki, too, of a mentor, and that he's willing to do it for the relationship, even at the same time as being a love rival. And it sets up the new season really well. 
Ben 
The movie matters to the timeline of the series. The movie is not just some sort of one off moment that occurs. The events of the movie are built into the characters, and it was the beginning of them retooling how these characters function. 
NiNi 
This sounds like a very experimental type of series, just the way that they do different things each time. While they are refining their central characters and the central storylines, they're also experimenting with style and tone, and a number of other things it feels like? 
Twig 
I think that's really true. One of the things about the movie that's really fun is it's the first instance of sports in the series. We get Justice playing basketball with Haruta and working his feelings out through basketball. 
Ben 
JUSTICE!!! [Twig and Ben laugh]
Twig 
Love and peace! And that becomes a huge part of the AU and also part of Ossan’s Love Returns that I think really adds to the experience. They try things out and then if it works, they pick it up and add and yes, and it, and then they pull out the things that didn't really work. I find that really interesting to watch happen. 
NiNi 
The concept of something being iterative like that in real time, it's not for everybody. 
Ben 
This series went on to do something super experimental where a couple of months after they released a continuation movie promising that these characters would get back together, they released an alternative universe season where only Haruta and Kurosawa were present from the original cast, and now we're at an airport dealing with a completely different set of characters and a slightly different dynamic. 
It also gave Twig and I our favorite bit. 
Twig
[laughs] Dispatch! 👍
Ben
Dispatch! 👍 Oh my God. It is so funny, every single time. 
NiNi 
Every time. 
Ben 
Every episode has at least two dispatch moments. [Twig laughs] It's so fucking funny. 
Twig 
Sometimes it's to end a conversation. Sometimes it's to greet somebody, sometimes it's to shut down a conversation, distract from someone saying something you don’t want them to say. 
Ben 
So in this particular season, Kurosawa is still a leader. He is the captain of a flight crew. Haruta is a new flight attendant who is joining this team. In this case, Kurosawa is not Haruta’s long-term mentor who has been harboring a crush on him. He develops his crush in real time. Haruta moves into company housing and there's a slightly older guy there who's got a crush on Haruta, but he won't say anything about it. And then there's the meanest twink who's ever existed in BL. 
NiNi 
I mean y'all just seem to be giving me multiple reasons to watch this show at this point, so. 
Ben 
So in the second season, there's far more complicated people in the Haruta stuff. There's Kaname who is the older mechanic who lives in the dorms, and he's got this huge crush on Haruta, but he'll never say anything about it. Naruse is causing fucking problems all the time, because every time he has relationship drama and people show up at their airport to fuck with him about it, he just starts kissing Haruta to make people go away. And then people throw drinks in Haruta’s face over it. Because Tanaka Kei is a master of physical comedy. 
Twig 
One of the staples of the series is what I call the Haruta reaction supercut, where they just have multiple cuts of Haruta’s face as it morphs into more and more absurd huh, no, whaaa faces. He does bend his body in ways that's like a cartoon falling over, it's pretty incredible. 
NiNi 
Ben knows that I love physical comedy. 
Twig 
Yoshida Kotaro has incredible physical comedy, too. 
Ben 
Like if you ever want to see an old man try and kill an aging twink [Twig laughs], this is the show for you. 
I get why people who liked the first show bounced off of this, because the rest of the cast is gone. The supporting cast is a really strong part of the Ossan’s Love experience, but I really like the AU season because I think it allowed them to retool Haruta and Kurosawa. And retool the relationship between them to make it more about their mentorship. They're building that relationship in the AU season ‘cause they don't know each other. 
Twig 
The thing that I really like about the AU setup is because Haruta is coming into a new environment, we get to see him build his network of people around him over the course of the season. Showing us what's likable about Haruta because he has to charm all these people around him in order to get friends and build a community, is a really important piece of the puzzle that allowed me to get to like that character a lot more, because he was charming me at the same time. 
Ben 
We get a lot of great moments in the season. Kurosawa has been a pilot for 30 years and he decides to retire and everyone is sad about it. I'm sad about it, Twig is crying about it. 
Twig 
Mmhm. 
Ben 
He ends up inviting the three guys who we've mentioned out to hang out in the park with him. He has this sumo tournament with them where he's basically giving them the last bit of advice he's going to give them and it is, one of the most intensely emotional man moments I have had in this genre. I was losing it and I was crying. I was hollering and screaming, messaging Twig like, “Wake up, I need to talk about this right now, I don't care what you're doing. Get up.” 
Truly, it is one of the best moments in TV about the relationships between men that I have ever experienced, and it is this hyper ridiculous sumo wrestling moment in a gay romance drama in the AU season that is technically not canon, and it was the moment from the series that lingers with me the most. 
Twig 
Even in the moment they're looking at each other like, is this happening? How is this happening? This isn't real. Nobody does this. Nobody calls each other to the side of the river with a note [laughs] to hold a wrestling competition in which we talk about our feelings. 
Ben 
But it works really well. I ended up really loving the way it allowed us to think about these two men and the relationship between them. We get to appreciate how important Kurosawa is to Haruta. 
Twig 
That sumo wrestling moment allows us to see Kurosawa's relationships with all of his subordinates. The way he's so firm and so gentle with Naruse, with like “soft landing,” meanwhile, throws Haruta out of the ring. 
Ben 
The way he talks to all of these men as specific to them, like his role as leader is strongest in the AU season. My primary concern for the Thai adaptation is who is playing Kurosawa, because this character is as important as the romantic leads. 
Twig 
I think it's more important. 
Ben 
I am with Twig. Who is going to match Yoshida Kotaro in Thailand? I need to know. 
Twig 
I'm eagerly awaiting that announcement. 
NiNi 
The answer is going to be Nu Surasak or Kob Songsit.
Ben 
I really hope it's good. 
00:39:00 - Ossan’s Love Returns
Ben
Ossan's Love Returns reunites the original cast after five years. Maki is returning from an extended stint in Singapore, and now he and Haruta are gonna start their cohabitating married life together. Maki is now part of the super team at headquarters, following up on the movie. Haruta is still on the streets with regular folk, ‘cause that's where he wants to be. Kurosawa has retired, I liked that follow up from the AU season. And now he's working as a housekeeper. Maki is working too much and Haruta is still bad at house, and so they hire a housekeeper, who ends up being Kurosawa [Twig laughs] who cannot hold back his feelings for Haruta and it becomes one of the ongoing dramas of the season. 
One of the things I enjoyed in this season is… they explore how to integrate Kurosawa into their lives long term. Haruta is serious about Maki and committed to their romance. Kurosawa is also extremely important to him and he treats him like a father figure. They explicitly have Choko talk to Kurosawa about how a lot of the ways he feels [laugh] about Maki are a lot of the ways a mother-in-law might feel about their daughter-in-law with the way they beef with each other. And when we say they beef with each other, I mean, these two men are legit fighting in their kitchen, like Kurosawa hits Maki in the head repeatedly with a frying pan. Maki legit throws Kurosawa through a door at one point and knocks it off the hinges. These two men, when they scrap with each other, are fighting for real and I love it every time.
NiNi
It's just like you all conspired to come into this recording booth today and just be like, okay, so you say this and I'll say that and between us we're gonna get her to watch this, because she likes this kind of stuff.
Ben
I didn't really have to work that hard. We're just legit talking about what the show was doing. We get a really great season of Maki and Haruta settling into what their life is going to look like. There's some introduced new characters in the season that we all had very complicated feelings about who I think end up fitting fine by the end. Most of the original cast comes back and there's like a really great bit of exploring what all these characters settling into their relationships that they got into in the first season in this one. 
So Haruta and Maki are now living together and figuring out what that is going to look like, who are they gonna be as a couple now that they're not doing long distance ‘cause they've basically been long distance between every outing. Which I think was a clever choice because it means that the characters’ relationship dynamic doesn't really move that much between outings. 
Choko is now living with Maro and Maro’s mom, and Choko is struggling because she's older than Maro's mom. She can't just treat this woman like her mother-in-law. And Maro doesn't know how to help because he's caught between his wife, who's way older than him, and his mom, who's confused and a little bit uncertain about this whole dynamic.
Twig
I also love that that's not the only thing we see Choko having worked through in the time we've been apart from her. She opened an archery range after her divorce, and sort of reinvented herself with this new life that she's actually thriving in.
Ben
They get new neighbors who are a bunch of weirdos.
Twig
[laughs] They're so weird. They're so weird.
Ben
These two are revealed to be members of, like, a public security division that maybe doesn't actually exist. Izumi ends up becoming obsessed with Haruta because he's a doppelganger for his dead lover who was killed in the line of duty, who is very, very different from Haruta. It was fun to see Tanaka Kei play a very different type of character in those flashbacks. I don't know that it entirely landed for me over the course of the season, but by the finale, which was fantastic, I was okay with them.
Twig
A large part of the way they were written is that they were a mystery for a large part of it, too. It's hard to bond with a character that you know nothing about and is intentionally opaque.
Ben
Chizu is trying to make it as a single mom and this reinforces one of the big themes of the season, that family is all the people who are going to show up for you all the time. She relies on Teppei and Maika to help, and she feels guilty about this and they tell her straight up, like, don't feel guilty. We are a family. You should rely on us. 
She had already made Haruta and Maki designated adults who can pick up her kid from the daycare. An important gay right of passage is your friend calling you and telling you I need you to go pick up my kid, and then you show up at said kindergarten to pick up a kid and they look at your ID and they go “oh you're allowed” and the kid runs to you and everybody goes, well, that makes sense. An important gay moment that everyone must experience.
Twig
One of the things that I love about this so much is that it picks up from a throw away line that Chizu says in the movie. She sort of brags that she's going to balance having a kid and her career. One of the things about the series is that it really feels like the people who are writing it love the whole series and are constantly thinking about how to call back in loving ways and how to pick up threads in loving ways. Something that she just sort of confidently stated she was going to do no problem in the movie becomes a whole plot in the following season.
Ben
There's a final arc in the season where Kurosawa has a health scare where we think he's going to die.
Twig
When we were talking about it, Ben, you said that it was an important moment for Maki and Haruta to confront the idea that Kurosawa won't always be around. And I was like, oh, that's why I don't like this part because I don't want to ever think about that. [Twig and Ben laugh]
Ben
The entire finale is this really great examination about the way this whole group of people are a family to each other.
Twig
It's not even just that it's happening, but they're explicit about it. They're having conversations about what is family? What are we to each other? How do we define our relationship? Where do those lines get drawn? And the answer is just sort of, yes.
Ben
There's an explicit line, like, what is Kurosawa to them? And then Maika comes over and hammers it home for the audience and is like, “There's no need to describe it. What matters is you all are going to be part of each other's lives forever.”
00:45:33 - Final Thoughts and Ratings
Ben
I don't think we talked about it as much. So, the first season is pretty light on kissing and intimacy between the male characters. Ossan's Love Returns is not! There's so much married intimacy between Haruta and Maki.
Twig
The casual intimacy in Ossan's Love Returns is constant, and it just feels very lived in? They're just constantly touching each other and having small kisses and teasing each other.
Ben
We got more of that today in the unexpected special spin-offs we're getting. I was like “ohh, I thought we were done. Oh, it's another cute little 20-minute office episode ending on the two of them making out next to the copier.” Love it.
NiNi
This is called Forbidden Gout Temps Nouveau. 
Twig
Mhmm.
NiNi
I have so many questions, but I feel like I should not ask those questions right now.
Ben
My general attitude is you don't need to watch all of Ossan's Love to enjoy parts of Ossan's Love. I think if you are interested in gay domesticity and complex family units, you can just watch Ossan's Love Returns right away.
NiNi
I'm watching it all. Eventually. I don't know when. There's a lot going on in the IRL space right now, but I'm gonna be watching the whole thing.
Twig
I feel like I should say something about the original short. It has a lot of the things that people found the hardest to swallow about season one. A lot of the stuff that they did originally they fixed or did better as they moved through. I would say the short is the thing to skip, of all of it, unless you're really curious about the journey of this franchise.
NiNi
I'm really fascinated by the idea of this as a reserve process of working through and refining the show in kind of a real time. I would like to see the whole thing just for that purpose. I'm a writer, so the way that this feels like multiple drafts, and you getting to actually see the multiple drafts to see why they might have decided to make a particular change in the next draft, or why they would have gone for an overhaul, or what would they have tweaked around the edges. I like the idea of looking at that.
Twig
It is not just the writing that they iterate. We haven't talked a lot about the visual effects that this show uses, but it has its own style. One of my favorites: it uses the bokeh effect, where the lighting in the background is blurred and sometimes takes shapes. It starts from the very beginning. You'll see the lights behind Kurosawa make little hearts while he's confessing to Haruta and Haruta’s has little like stop signs. [Ben laughs] And then they get bigger and bigger with that where Kurosawa’s hearts have little like heartbreak. They have– there’s little, like, zigzags in the hearts behind him when he gets rejected. Sometimes he'll be crying tear lights. That’s just one of the things that they play with in the different versions.
Ben
Naruse having that whole tantrum trying to get someone's attention for help? Then having that super cut of them screaming and then smash cutting to them just sitting at the table. There's like the courtroom audio stinger that dominates the first season that I fucking love [mimics the sound] thing that happens over the course of the whole season. It's so, so dramatic, and I'm like, “Is Judge Mathis gonna walk out? What is happening?”
Twig
Oh, and they do this thing where they hard cut to a visual metaphor like water leaking out of a water bottle or a pot boiling to represent the character’s emotions. There's so many visual moments. It's not just written well and acted well. It's also represented visually really well, and seeing how they experiment with that and how that changes. Like, the weird bobble heads we got in the AU season. I'm still not over those. I'm glad those didn't return.
Ben
It is not a perfect show. This is not a “Everybody was wrong. They should have watched all of this. Grab your pitchfork!” situation. This is not an easy show to love. If you can find your way to loving the show, I think it has been one of the most rewarding watches I've had in the genre since What Did You Eat Yesterday? 
Japanese BL is different from Thai BL. More experimental and weirder things are gonna happen over time if the series has a lot of leg in it, and Ossan's Love is one of those that has so much leg in it. Like the second season just ended, and I'd be okay if we don't see them again, but, I really hope we do.
Twig
Me too.
NiNi
All right, so let's get into ratings. I mean, is this the kind of thing that you rate? Instead of rating, let's rank. If you had to rank the different parts of the Ossan's Love franchise, how would you rank them? In terms of, for you, most enjoyable to probably the least enjoyable?
Ben
Well, the least enjoyable is the original special. It's the most rough and the hardest to swallow. I think the best season is the current one?
Twig
Yeah. I mean, for me, it's basically chronological order, I think. I struggle between the film and the AU ‘cause I like them for different reasons, and I struggled with them for different reasons. But I think Naruse tips it over there so that it stays ahead.
Ben
[Ben and Twig laugh] I love that mean twink!
Twig
He's just so great.
Ben
I don't know that I'd want to…rank them that way. I think each outing adds something to it. It's really a question of, do you like seeing people try to get together for the first time, or do you really like seeing people be together? For me, I'm very partial to Ossan's Love Returns because it's about gay life drama, which is what I’ve wanted for a while. And so I'm really fucking enjoying that.
Twig
Yeah, I love it when people have to figure out, “Now that we're in this relationship, how do we make this work?”
Ben
But I also love the AU season. I think the retooling of Haruta and Kurosawa is actually really helpful. I think taking a break from Maki is actually helpful for appreciating Haruta when you come back to them. I think you end up liking Haruta more by the time you get to Ossan's Love Returns and seeing the potential in him. The love people are trying to pour on to him in the current season is more accessible to me as a viewer because I got to spend time with Haruta growing to love him in the AU season.
Twig
I also just have affection for an entire season that seems to have basically been built off of like a throwaway reference to episode one, when Haruta says he's most attracted to stewardesses. And then, and also, like, maybe a pun because Kurosawa’s character is called bucho which means, like, manager essentially through all of the regular Ossan's Love stories. But in the AU he's kucho because he's a captain. And I think that's very funny.
Ben
In terms of my ratings, I'm looking at on MDL, I gave Ossan's Love and Ossan's Love Returns a 9. But I gave the AU season a 9.5. [Ben and Twig laugh] So, there's your answer.
Twig
There you go.
Ben
Twig, what did you rate the second season? I know ratings aren't always your thing, but did you give the second season a rating?
Twig
I didn't. If I was going to give it a rating. Ossan's Love Returns? Yeah, I’d give it a 9.
Ben
It's a 9 for me in that I think if you're into BL, you should watch the show, but I don't know that it is the most accessible show, so I don't want to give it a 10.
Twig
I think the thing about this show, too, is it's about multiple relationships. It's not just about Maki and Haruta, and I wouldn't even say their relationship dominates the story. So, to rank it against other BL as a romance narrative is quite difficult. It's about family and what that means in a queer context. Part of that is romance, but it's not even the biggest part? The family feels is what gets me about this series.
Ben
That's going to do it for Ossan's Love. We have succeeded at our mission. NiNi has agreed to watch the show. Twig and I got to unpack the entirety of this whole franchise. We have the benefit of knowing it gets better over time now, and so I don't begrudge people bouncing when they did in 2018. I think that in 2024, it is beneficial for people who care about the history of the genre to go back and properly engage with Ossan's Love. I genuinely think it is worth reconsidering your initial opinion. They… grow. Their characters are not static. What has occurred is taken seriously and what worked and didn't work is considered as they move forward.
NiNi
That is going to wrap us up on the Ossan's Love episode. Twig, it was so great having you on, and I hope you come back.
Twig
Thank you so much for having me. It was really fun.
NiNi
With that, we out. Say bye to the people, Twig.
Twig
Dispatch!👍
Ben
Dispatch! 👍
NiNi
At some point I'm going to find out what that means, and then I will be unstoppable. Say bye to the people, Ben.
Ben
Peace.
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orionsangel86 · 2 days
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You know, I thought we were done with the ageism in fandom thinking that its purely for teenagers? Because it doesn't help anyone to have the attitude of this (now blocked) anon. People don't stop having passions and being fans of things just because they get older. Fandoms thrive BECAUSE older people put in the effort to MAKE them thrive. Do you really think that 100k word perfectly written epic fanfic that you adore so much was written by a 16 year old? Because I guarantee it was more likely to be written by a 35 year old mother of 2.
That amazing cosplay of your fave character you saw at a recent comic con that took phenomenal skill and probably a good deal of expense to look perfect wasn't put together by a 17 year old high schooler, it was perfected through years of passion into a hobby that more than likely required a full time job and a savings account to afford.
That amazing fanartist who has the BEST art of your OTP that captures their likeness in a really gorgeous style? They weren't born with that talent. It takes years to develop a personal art style, and capturing a persons likeness in art is a skill that has to be nurtured. The best artists are the ones who've had years to develop their skills. They aren't school kids. I have had mutuals on this site for a decade now and I have seen how much their art has improved and become absolutely beloved. These are people who at their youngest are in their late 20s now. Most of my mutuals are in their 30s, some of the best fanfiction writers I know are in their 40s and 50s. The meta writers I know are also in my age group. Hell, do you think teenagers run AO3? You'll be surprised just how many "old people" make the best fanworks. If you removed them from fandom spaces, I guarantee you would remove most of the talent, because no offence to you kids, but that talent is something that is nurtured over time, and time and aging go hand in hand i'm afraid.
The people who make fandoms what it is, the ones running events, pouring themselves into analytical posts, providing the best fanart, coming up with the amusing memes and textposts that go viral? Do you REALLY think they are all school kids? Fandoms are made up of PEOPLE, and newsflash assholes, people AGE.
This attitude always amazes me. There isn't an age limit in fandom. This isn't fucking Logan's Run (bet you the kids won't understand that reference) and honestly if these kids genuinely think they need to give it up and quit at a certain point in their future I just pity them.
Fandom thrives because of the older people that have nurtured it for years and carved out a space where younger people can enter in comfort and safety. Which are only possible BECAUSE older people built online fandoms and continued to put in the work to keep them going. If we all had to stop caring and leave fandom at some specific cut off date, the fandom landscape would be a vastly different space - and probably a lot worse for being predominantly run by hormonal teenagers - heh, I guess it would be a lot more like TikTok and we all know how dreadful TikTok has been for fandom so far. If nothing else that alone proves my point.
At the end of the day, no one can stop the passing of time. Even the horrible children who send adults nasty anons. Eventually, they will be the "fandom elders" and receiving their own anon hate from a future generation of brats, I personally can't wait to be the very old lady laughing at them when that day inevitably comes.
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cursedvibes · 1 day
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Don't know how Sukuna managed to figure out that Yuuji is the child of Kenjaku and his reincarnated twin and had one of Sukuna's fingers sealed inside him, only to go "it's fine though, I can totally handle that, the brat is weak and boring and nothing more than a former vessel". He has known Kenjaku for a while, had them meddling with his own soul and body, and still thought he had nothing to worry about? He really put a lot of effort into telling himself that Kenjaku's little experiment wasn't that serious and he had everything totally under control once he left Yuuji's body. Delusion is nice, but maybe he should've put more stock into self-preservation and listened to Uraume. They rightfully had alarm bells ringing in their head.
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andradrawsstuff · 2 days
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An in-depth character analysis of Skipper: pt 2
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So, tv Skipper is a bit of a contrast to movie Skipper, as I stated in my MASSIVE ramble in part 1 💀 Even though he’s so different, he does have his quirks and some decent character development. It’s also great to see how much Tom’s voice acting evolves over the seasons and I thank him so much for putting his heart into it 🥺
This is also going to be a long one I am so sorry, I tried
This version of Skipper started off pretty similar to his movie counterpart as the show was finding its footing, but soon evolved into his own version of himself as the series went on. In early season 1, we see Skipper be somewhat down to earth and have quite an honourable attitude. He’s not super shouty-screamy and we see him being pretty domestic, which is probably because season 1 is pretty slice-of-life compared to the other two seasons.
I think the main points to mention here are in Happy King Julien Day and Assault and Batteries - in hkjd, despite all sorts of interruptions Skipper gets a little angry, but doesn’t really act upon it, he just minds his own business. Eventually he confronts Julien, but remains civil throughout the entire thing. In Assault and Batteries, he takes the batteries but does so sneakily to minimise confrontation. And when Julien chases him, he doesn’t fight. Throughout the entire episode (and a good bit of the show), he remains somewhat civil and tries to minimise confrontation with Julien. He’s also pretty sweet at the end when he offers a high five like bro that’s adorable I can’t-
We also get to see some decent character development for him in season 1, as there’s a lot of Skipper-centric episodes. In Needle Point, Skipper realises he should take the shot so that Private doesn’t get sick - he takes accountability for his actions, and his conversation with Private is pretty sweet. I love that you get to see Skipper being sweet (especially with Private) in the series, since they’ve had the time to show a bit of his vulnerable side here and there.
But I think that the most important character development point in Skipper’s story is Miss Understanding - Since the start of season 1, Skipper was pretty sexist and it gets so bad that he thinks he can’t do anything he did before because he’s a girl. He eventually saves the guys and the episode comes to a resolution.
But here’s the thing, not once is he sexist after that (Unless I’ve missed a few things here and there but I think he genuinely learns his lesson) which makes me think that his sexism is intentional on the writers part bc they do make it a point that it’s wrong, so w tpom and it’s pretty neat and rare for an early 2000s show to cover. This is why I love love love season 1 Skipper - he’s flawed but in a realistic way and he usually makes an effort to fix his mistakes. He’s also quite nonchalantly chaotic like in the movies, whereas in later seasons he’s more aggressively chaotic if you catch my drift? Idk how to explain well lmao.
As for his other traits, he’s pretty paranoid and egocentric, but still as suave, sassy and sarcastic as movie Skipper. He’s defo got a lot more of an “I’m right and you’re wrong” attitude than his counterpart and is a fair bit grumpier which is pretty funny. He’s got a bit of a hero complex here (eg. Treasure of the Golden Squirrel) and at first he’s arguably more chaotic good than neutral compared to the movies, but it’s not such a big change that it makes it bad in any way. I mean, he still kinda has it out for the humans and chooses violence without a second thought which is hilarious to me 💀
As the series progresses, Skipper starts to get increasingly paranoid and aggressive, and a lot of his negative traits start to show more. In early season 2 he’s fine but you can tell when the writers were starting to lose the plot both with the characters and stories in late season 2. It kinda feels like his character took a 180 turn and went backwards, but honestly it’s not that noticeable and I just happen to love analysing these things. I mean, it also happens to Kowalski, who around the same time starts becoming a bit of an asshole and gets worse in season 3 - in Snowmageddon, he’s rlly dismissive of Private and Fred.
I think Skipper also ends up suffering what I like to call the “Sabrina Spellman treatment” because he starts making mistakes and refusing to take accountability, usually pinning the blame on someone else without repercussions. I guess it’s the only real “problem” I have with his character in the series but honestly it’s just something that tends to happen as shows go on for a long time and it’s not all that bothersome. But the thing is, he starts getting better again in season 3 and he gets more character development (eg. Snowmageddon where him and Marlene work rlly well as a team and Antics on Ice where he’s pretty much doing everything for Private 🥺) so idk what happened there 💀
Overall, tv Skipper is still a loveable little guy and I find it so funny when he gets angry out of nowhere, my fav crazy Skipper moment being the one where he swears he’s never gonna end up in Hoboken and starts screaming his lungs out 💀 (absolutely top-notch voice acting as always ofc).
But with this, I hope that you’ve enjoyed my ridiculously long character analysis and feel free to tell me your thoughts, this is all just my opinion after all :)
If you’re somehow still reading this I congratulate you, you get a gold star ⭐️
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jmliebert · 1 day
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modern Aemond headcanons ⊹₊ ⋆
I HAD A VISION
this one is born to succeed
his either into fencing or calisthenic, possibly even both
listening to classical music while studying
and he’s studying a lot, may I add
also, he’s reading a lot too, is a slut for Dostoyevsky
Crime and Punishment has a special place in his heart…
enjoys self-help books for personal development
something like atomic habits, 48 laws of power etc.
wakes up early, follows a productive morning routine
admires Machiavelli and Johan Liebert
has led lights in his room
and as we are talking about his room let me say it’s immaculate
Aemond's a history buff
enjoys discussing politics and philosophy especially
the Borgia family intrigues him deeply
perfectionist in various aspects, well organised
not a fan of going to the cinema
either avoids social media entirely or has accounts but rarely use it
has his !emo boy! moments here and there
likes to play knife game
speaks more than one language for sure
write from time to time, usually some thoughtful essays
listens to $uicideboy$ and phonk when he feels super edgy
is stargazing in secret
actually he’s quite sweet if you get to know him more
but it’s hard to get to know him more… :(
he wishes for someone who would understand
his day is incomplete without unhealthy amounts of coffee
helping Aegon do his homework even though he’s younger
genuinely likes spending time with his mother, they talk a lot and go on coffee dates
frenemies with Luke...
has soft spot for Helaena, would do anything for his sis
drives Helaena to her therapy sessions, always, without fail and never complains about it
likes the idea of stoicism but lack the patience, gets a little bit to silly sometimes…
wearing black (well, isn’t that obvious?)
is rocking that adidas black set look
or dark leather jacket with straight pants…
his hair is his crown, he puts much effort into it even though he denies it
Aegon teases him about it without no end
favours Calvin Klein boxers, wears them on a daily basis
plus points if wearing cool rings
︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵
you can find more of my works about aemond ♡here♡
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molagboop · 3 hours
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So I put the power of friendship and impractical outfits into Metroid Dread. No suits, no shields: we die in a giant laser hand cannon fight like true warriors.
#raven beak#chozo#a lot of effort for a bit#i thought back to that one piece i did a few years ago where i put raven beak in bikini armor and i said#'wouldn't it be funny to see him actually fight in something like that?'#because as we all know exposed flesh in combat is very humorous when large guns that shoot beams are involved#and then my train of thought fell to 'wouldn't it be funny if Samus was covered more than Raven Beak is'#'to subvert the sexy outfits thing a little bit but also drive home the 'god-emperor of Chozo Victoria's Secret' look he has going for him'#So the original sketch was created July 21 2023. And I redid it on April 10 2024.#and built Raven Beak bulky like a pro wrestler to really drive home the drama/hamminess of the situation but also to make him look stronger#my outfit design continues to be lacking but my commitment to the bit remains unmatched#... it's also so much easier to draw silly bikini armor that makes no sense than it is to put characters in regular clothes. or armor.#if you want a 'lore justification' for the lack of armor let's just say Raven Beak doesn't need the suit to be powerful.#and Samus is about to demonstrate that he has sorely underestimated her. by a mile. or a kilometer.#anyways the differences in their outfits match their upbringing and general philosophy#Samus opts for the more practical leotard offering her mobility and lightweight motion#Raven Beak guns for the full regalia that shows off as much muscle as possible while not skipping out on symbols of rank#and he NEVER leaves home without a cape#the cape is a must if shoulder-mounted black hole generators aren't available.
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stylishanachronism · 1 year
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In other news after sitting on some very wild ideas I might actually produce that essay about tax fraud.
#it’s that or the second half of the sheep essay#which has a complete and total thought but! I have still not named the sheep#like I think I can finally articulate the chain of events that lead to Special Dyrwodian Sheep from an Ixmitl crossbreed#but uh that’s what they’re called which is…… Bad#in any case it’s actually all about intercontinental trade before Readceras was established#or more accurately we’re splitting the difference between sources and saying ‘when Readceras was the size of a pea’#because there are still two separate established dates for Readceras first being established as a colony and they’re….#well they’re a couple centuries apart and have very different implications re: international relations#but yeah to go back to my point a lot of…. mm large scale tax fraud#census level stuff not like paying your share in fake coin or bad grains#must look pretty different than in real life#because ‘prentending your whole town is insane/illiterate/etc’ has very different implications if the logical conclusion for the government#is ‘unauthorized animancy has killed everyone and now they’re undead’#like we watch the government pretend heritage hill is just fine in the game#while they also put a lot of time and effort into trying to figure out what happened/kill all the newly dead people#while said newly dead people are a solid chunk of the existing nobility#yes I do have elaborate thoughts about how that succession crisis worked out in the period between the end of the game and deadfire#…..that’s it’s own thing though that’s not tax fraud
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I wrote an entire fucking essay in the middle of the night, help me
Here it is:
"Frodo's not a hero"
So many people have said this and I hate it, because it doesn't make sense. And I'm saying this as someone who used to agree with these people. I saw a few posts on social media criticising Frodo a couple of years ago, and because I hadn't seen the films many times and was a bit gullible, I thought they were right. Then later I actually thought about it, properly, and I realised it was kind of stupid. And the more I thought about it, the more stupid it sounded.
I've tried to figure out the reasons for people to have this opinion. I think the biggest ones I've seen are toxic masculinity, and the belief that in order to be a good character, you have to be 100% perfect.
Let's start with toxic masculinity. We probably all know what it is: the idea that doing anything typically associated with feminity makes a man weak, or stupid, or "less of a man".
It is fairly clear that Frodo has more "feminine" traits than "masculine" traits. He doesn't do very much fighting. He never kills anyone, though there are a couple of times when he threatens to. He cries several times. He gets scared and sad and angry. The fact that these traits are even called "feminine" in the first place is ridiculous, but they are, and that seems to be why people (especially men) don't like the fact that Frodo has them. When you think of a fantasy story with monsters and magic and war, the assumption often seems to be that the main protagonist will be someone like Aragorn: a tough, fearless man who wields a sword and has epic battle scenes. And there's nothing wrong with that. But Tolkien has written Aragorn and the other characters like him as side characters, and he's written Frodo Baggins, a small, innocent, kind-hearted hobbit who has never been part of a war in his life, as the central character. He's obviously not the only protagonist, but if someone asked you, "Who is the main character in The Lord of the Rings?" it's likely that you will say Frodo.
This subversion of stereotypes is one that people still seem to be getting used to. From what I've been able to figure out, a lot of people (especially men) are having a hard time accepting the fact that you can have a male protagonist who is stereotypically "feminine" and is not criticised for it by the other characters, and doesn't end up changing to become more "manly" by the end of the story. People are so used to the word "strong" being synonymous with "masculine" that it's taking a while for them to realise that you don't have to be a sword-swinging, orc-decapitating warrior to be strong.
You also get a lot of people who seem to be offended by Frodo's ability to cry. This is plain moronic. Yes, Frodo does cry, and if you ask me, he has every reason to. You know who else cries? Every other member of the Fellowship (except Legolas for some reason - and let's be real, he comes pretty close). Yes, even the really tough guys. Aragorn, Boromir, Gimli ... they all have feelings, and they all express said feelings. And for some reason, which I have tried and failed to identify, they don't get criticised for it, but Frodo does. It makes no sense. Is it because he's already "feminine" and being emotional apparently takes it a step too far? Or is it something else? I guess I'll never know.
Now let's look at the other reason. This one is more complicated. There are so many people preaching about Sam being the "real hero" that at this point, I think they might just be echoing each other without really thinking about what they're saying.
They're not entirely wrong. Sam is certainly an important character. But he's not the only important character.
A lot of Tolkien fans are convinced that in order for Frodo to be considered a hero, he has to be more like Sam. And on a surface level, this might seem to make sense. But think about it - Sam and Frodo have different tasks. Frodo's the Ringbearer. His job is to take the Ring to Mordor, where it can be erased from existence. He also willingly chose this job, knowing it would be hard, but knowing that someone had to do it, and nobody else was volunteering. Sam (and, for the start of the quest, the rest of the Fellowship) is going with him to offer support, because, as is made clear when showing the other people who had the Ring, it affects people - it clouds their judgement, above all else, and if Frodo had been alone with it, he wouldn't have had anyone to stop him making reckless decisions and the Ring most likely would have taken control over him much sooner.
Although Frodo and Sam both experience a lot of the same things externally, their internal experiences are completely different. And as a result of that, the external experiences affect them differently, because they have different mental states and different mindsets.
Frodo has the Ring even before the official quest starts, so it has probably already been starting to mess with his head a bit. He also has to deal with both the physical and mental trauma of having been stabbed by a Ringwraith. He is already somewhat mentally damaged at the start of the quest, and the mental damage only increases as the story progresses. Sam, on the other hand, does not have any already-existing trauma that is mentioned in the story. Plus he is not the one carrying the Ring.
Let's focus on the Ring for a second. It is very clearly shown to have negative effects on anyone who has it. And a lot of the time, the effects don't take long to make an appearance. Look at Isildur - he had it for only a few minutes before he turned down the opportunity to destroy it - or Gollum - all he had to do was look at it, and within seconds he was brutally fighting his friend and then literally killing him so he could have it.
It takes a lot longer for it to affect Frodo this severely. Whether that's because it was simply bothering him less or because he was mentally fighting it off, I'm not sure. But it is stated that it takes willpower to stop the Ring affecting you, so it's likely that that's the case with Frodo. It also presents itself as a physical weight that gets heavier the closer it gets to Mordor, to the point that when he's in Mordor, he can barely stand up.
It's made clear that the damage the Ring is doing to Frodo is physical as well as mental, and when you combine that with nonstop walking towards a terrifying place full of horrible people, while you may or may not have Ringwraiths looking for you, and you're also running on limited supplies, the whole thing sounds very unenjoyable. This experience is most likely affecting Frodo's perception of the other things happening to him.
A good example of this is Gollum: someone who had the Ring for five hundred years and became more of a creature than a person. Because Frodo has the Ring when he meets Gollum and he knows, firsthand, what it's like to have it and what it does to people, he finds it easier to empathise with Gollum than Sam does. He also knows that looking at Gollum is essentially the equivalent of looking at his future, if everything goes wrong and the Ring consumes his mind. Frodo's line, "I have to believe he can come back," refers to Gollum, but, if you think about it, also refers to himself. He shows compassion to Gollum, and that actually causes a change in his behaviour and, as is implied, one of his personalities, although it is short-lived. This gives Frodo hope - if Gollum can actually do something good and show signs of coming back to his former self after being so drastically changed by the Ring, so can he.
Frodo does succumb to the Ring in the end, and this is another thing that fans don't like. I suppose it might be disappointing to watch as a viewer - after making the whole journey, it would have been satisfying to see Frodo complete his quest. But the reality is that he's had the Ring for months up until this point. And he's in Mordor, the place where Sauron is most powerful. So it shouldn't be surprising that he doesn't manage to let go of the Ring, and yet here I am, arguing with the people who apparently did find it surprising.
It's important to point out that if Frodo found everything easy and didn't struggle with anything, he would be a terribly-written character. By writing him as someone who is impacted negatively by certain events and needs help to do some things, Tolkien has made Frodo realistic. Because everyone - everyone in the world - has problems and weaknesses as well as strengths. And I promise you, if Frodo was written as one of those characters who does everything really well and has no realistic flaws, everyone would be saying he was boring and had no personality. And they'd be right. So it's really quite stupid to dislike him for finding things difficult and not being able to do everything without help, because those are the things that give his character depth and relatability.
You could argue that Sam does a better job of resisting the temptation of the Ring better than Frodo, but you would be forgetting that Frodo has it for a lot longer than Sam. And even when Sam has had it for only a couple of hours, it still affects him. Yes, he gives it back to Frodo, but there is hesitation to do so that is clearly shown in the film and the book.
To say that Sam is inherently better than Frodo is to ignore all the differences in their experiences. And to say Sam is the "real hero" is to ignore Frodo entirely. What he did may not have been as dramatic or exciting as any of the battle scenes, but it ultimately led to the destruction of the Ring and the end of the war. So Frodo is a hero, and those who say otherwise have a lot to rethink.
Not to mention, if Sam was real and saw what people were saying about Frodo, he would absolutely flip his shit :)
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pallases · 1 year
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guys im actually really nervous abt taking an english class next semester 😭 im so out of practice i feel like stem has rotted my brain*
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#okay i just sant to conplain fir s minute#because im tired and have low blood pressure which makes me irritable and mostly im tired#but last week i learned how to make bread. i specifically learned how to make bread for a friend#this friend had mentioned that they would love if someone baked them bread. that it would mean a lot to them#i love this friend and i love baking. so i asked their fav type of bread. brioche. and i learned to bake it. for them#so the day before we hung out i learned. i made a test loaf for myself because i wanted to make sure it was good. i thought it was#i ended up finishing their loaf at 3am when i had to wake up at 7am. so i stayed up late and got 4hours of sleep so i could bake them bread#i thought they appreciated it! i thought they enjoyed it! they said they did! it made me so happy that this time and effort wasnt wasted!#but theyre on a date with my best friend right now. i called because i thought they were done but they were together#and i knew they were going to bake bread with the recipe i used#when i called in the first thing that this friend saidwas 'we baked bread and its better than yours!' and made a couple more jabs like that#i know they were joking and im just very oversensitive rn because im so tired#but i learned to bake bread for them. put alot of effort in. and now whenever i think of making them something im going to remembr this#that they didnt appreciate it? or didnt like it? im going to second guess giving them shit because of this. whoch might be stupid#as i type this i know i sound petty and stupid#but i loved baking them bread. i loved that it made them happy. but then they made it seem like it didnt matter to them#i know this is stupid but like. it actually kind of hurt. even though i know they didnt mean it to. idk im really tired
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icedille · 16 days
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the wall of not doing things has been absolutely awful lately and i genuinely have no idea why anymore. like i am just stupid why do i feel like i'm being crushed by a mountain every time i try to focus. what is going on lol
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acidicabsolgutz · 2 months
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vent thing in tags idk
#honestly at this point i’m just completely lost like idk what to do#my social life was taken away from me near completely and this is the only place i can access on browser on my younger sister’s ipad#i cant go to my room which is my only safe space either#and i’m honestly so done with my mom and honestly a lot of my family#and guess what?#this is all cuz my grades slipped#my mom thinks that taking my stuff away will get me to magically do better in school but in reality it makes me feel even worse#cuz like. it’s hard to put into words but both she and my dad (who’s horrible in his own way) get angry when that happens cuz to them i’m#magically supposed to be a hell lot more responsible cuz i’m 17 years old and both of them have complained that this has been happening for#the past 10 years or so#cuz i can’t focus and i tend to give up a lot in my school work#and neither of them have thought about getting me professionally diagnosed for some reason#they also get upset when i start crying cuz to them crying is only for little kids which is a really fucking stupid reason#and when i get mad cuz something or someone’s bothering me cuz i can’t just magically ignore it#there’s a quote my mom sometimes said when she knows somethings bothering me#“if it doesn’t bother me then it shouldn’t bother you#and that in itself is really fucking dumb#cuz she’d rather have her teen stay idle and let the stuff bother them than actually make an effort to do something abt it#cuz as far as i know she’s not helping me stand up for myself#i think i’m going off topic#but still.#i hate it here#why couldn’t i have been into a more loving and accepting family that helped me with my issues instead of one that strikes#down anything that they deem bad#like none of them are supportive of the LGBTQ+ community (which i’m part of and partially out). theyre all racist in some way shape or form#but god do they GLADLY support child marriage!! and marrying your cousins to create more inbred fucked up children that bother everyone!!#at this point i feel like i’m either going to kill myself or cut off everyone in my family once i move out#i can’t take this shit anymore#i hate it here i really do#absol talks
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phoebelovingcare · 2 months
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THE NEXT PERSON WHO SAYS IT DOESN'T WORK GETS PUBLICLY EXECUTED VIA HAMMERCAR (check reblogs for further info)
"what's it like to use nightshade/glaze?"
so based on my own experience I thought I'd make this more transparent since I know a lot of people hesitate to take action on some things if they do not know Exactly what happens. it's me i'm people. So;
Nightshade takes about 30 minutes on its fastest setting. The end result tends to look like mild jpeg artifacting, very slightly creased paper, or just brush texturing. Looking at it normally, it is undetectable. Glaze is very visually similar, given the strategy, except that Glaze's longest time setting is 5 minutes.
You put in a file, select how much you want it affected and for how long you want it to render. For Nightshade, you also attach a tag to it, that way AI finds what it's looking for with an associated word. You select a folder for the final result to save to, then hit run.
It takes a lot of GPU/CPU. The fans on my laptop sound a bit like I'm running Minecraft, and it refuses to run if you have too many programs open. I could run Youtube and Nightshade at the same time, but Youtube did Not like it. Best to just take a break while you let it do its thing. Run Nightshade before you go out or something.
It does NOT like transparent png backgrounds. Makes me wonder how AI does with 'em. Anyways, running a backgroundless drawing through Glaze and Nightshade respectively makes it turn out like this:
Tumblr media Tumblr media
creasing effect is more noticeable, and it adds strange blocky black and white backgrounds to it. If you want good results for your time, be that less than 1 minute or 180 minutes, consider getting rid of the transparency.
I would post a before and after picture of a Nightshaded piece but of course, I would like to post exclusively poison on this site.
As one last note, it took me a lot of effort to find where you're actually supposed to download these tools, so Glaze is here and Nightshade is here. Overall I highly recommend using them if you can. Don't let AI run you off of your sites: run the AI out yourself.
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