#and i promise i’m not ignoring anyone individually lmao

[cambria-writes]

it's time for another honey update!

getting dangerously close to the last of the chapters i already have written and i am sweating. i'm also low (high) key a bit insecure about how short this is lmao.

anyways enjoy!

pairing: patrick jane x reader word count: 2,058 rating: T, each chapter rated individually warning: alcohol consumption, brief mention of drugs, fake relationship trope, that's it!

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𝕮𝖍𝖆𝖕𝖙𝖊𝖗 𝕿𝖍𝖎𝖗𝖙𝖊𝖊𝖓: ℭ𝔦𝔡𝔢𝔯

It doesn’t take you long. Once you’re outside of the CBI, the air feels different. You watch the people walk by. Drive by. Hear the cars rev and stall and honk. It’s almost overwhelming. You shrug your bag higher on your shoulder, pull out your phone. You have so many missed calls and messages that your phone has opted out of counting them. 

It is absolutely a spur of the moment decision, but you call one of your coworkers. Take a chance.

“Skye? Is that you? Oh my god! Oh my go—Luce! It’s Skye!” Miranda’s at work then. Marvelous. You hear several people through her phone. Sounds like people are shoving at each other to talk to you.

“Skye? Benraft, Skye? The one who got shot and didn’t tell me, that Skye?,” your manager demands. You can’t help but laugh nervously.

“Yeah, uh. Hi Lucy,” you reply lamely. You shuffle down the road you’re on. There should be a Starbucks nearby. Right? “I have a crazy favour. Who’s off today and doesn’t hate me?"

You hear Lucy pull the phone away and ask around. Hear the ruffling of pages; looking through the schedule, probably.

“Charlie doesn’t work today,” Lucy trails off. More papers rustle. “Steph, too, and Bill? Probably? What’s the favour? Are you okay?”

“I’m fine! I’m fine, kind of. Is anyone willing to make a trip to Sacramento?” 

Stephan is eventually tasked with picking you up. You found a Starbucks to spend your time in. The two and a half hour wait is grueling. You look over your shoulder every other time you hear the door open. You feel like a teenager that sneaked out past curfew. It’s ridiculous—you weren’t being kept at the CBI for any real reason, you’d already given as many statements as you could—but it still feels like running away.

It also feels like spitting in the face of Patrick Jane and his hospitality. However much it may have been in spite of literally everyone else around him.

Stephan, blissfully, is the kind of person who understands. He stays mostly quiet during the trip back to Yuba. Gives you control of the aux cord. You make sure to keep the volume low and the songs aligned with his tastes.

He doesn’t drop you off at home, not yet. You walk into work, hailed like a hero. You hate it. Someone bumps into your thigh, makes it feel like your whole leg is bruised.

You should really shower. Again. You can still smell the tea in your hair. Ultimately, you keep quiet. Lucy needs to sort out how the hell you’re going to get paid. If you are. Beyond being alive and able to return to your life, you don’t care about the details.

You miss your bed.

Lucy personally takes you back to your apartment. You try insisting that it’s completely pointless. She doesn’t hear any of it. She drops you off with a promise to be back tomorrow. You’re told to go see a doctor for your bullet graze and not to come into work until Monday.

This is when you realize that it’s Wednesday. You had no idea what day it was. A look at the stove’s display says you had no idea what time it was either. The sun’s barely beginning to set. You try not to wonder where the day went.

You shower. Change. Brush your hair absently. It looks like half of it fell off on the brush. You bake a frozen chicken pot pie and proceed to eat the entire thing by yourself. Binge watch YouTube videos.

You fall asleep to the hum of your vibrating phone and words ringing in your head.

Sharpen that fear into a knife.

You wake up to one missed call and one voice message. You don’t recognize the number. Something in the back of your sleep-addled brain tells you who it is. You ignore it until you’ve had your coffee.

“Skye. Call me.” That’s it. That’s the whole message Mr Jane left. You have a warm cup of coffee in one hand and your phone in the other. You check Facebook and Instagram. Go through Tumblr. It’s nearly ten in the morning before you consider calling back.

You don’t. You send a text message and save the number. You barely have time to put your phone back down before it starts buzzing.

“Hi,” is the best greeting you can manage. Clear your throat.

“Where are you?” He’s worried. It makes your throat clench even more.

“I’m—I came home yesterday,” you start. Cut him off to continue explaining. “I had someone from work come to get me. I’m alright. I just... I heard Agent Lisbon, I just. I didn’t want to impose.”

“Nonsense,” Jane whispers. You can hear the understanding in the quiet tone. You don’t sigh despite your relief. “You’re back in Yuba then?”

Wait a beat. “Yeah. Should I ask why?”

“I’m taking you out tonight. Be ready at six.” You don't have time to ask what you’re supposed to wear before the line is dead. You stare at your phone incredulously while the dead line screams angrily at you.

It’s barely seven past ten. You’ve got eight hours to get ready. This... theoretically shouldn’t be a problem. Right? 

It’s 5:55PM and you still can’t decide what to wear. In a fit of desperation, you find a coin to toss in the air. Heads, the dress. Tails, the blouse and black pants.

It lands on tails

You throw on the dress anyways. It’s your favourite cut, and you can never go wrong with a black dress. It’ll be fine. You’ll be fine.

You nearly jump out of your skin when your phone vibrates with a text message. You don’t even read it; just toss your phone and its charger in your purse along with your wallet, slip into some comfortable black flats and bolt out the door. Which you almost forget to lock behind you.

You all but throw yourself in the waiting Citroen. Jane only glances at you out of the corner of his eye. Takes a few minutes into the drive for him to speak up.

“You clean up nice,” is all he says, eyes never leaving the road.

You also keep your eyes glued ahead. Shrug, Fisher with a fistful if black dress. “You always wear a suit and you didn’t tell me what I should wear. I made a safe bet.”

The rest of the drive is quiet. No radio, no conversation. You could probably get answers if you ask questions, but... you find yourself not needing answers. Despite everything you know and everything that’s happened, you find yourself trusting this man entirely. Even if he does use you as bait for another criminal hunt, he wouldn’t let you die, right?

The familiar clenching in your gut reminds you that you are, in fact, extremely nervous. Feels like ice pulsing through your veins for a second. Close your eyes, take a deep breath; don’t give yourself any ideas. Don’t expect anything. Just go with it.

The restaurant you end up at is something you definitely can’t afford. The kind of place with an actual dress code. You look at Jane, try to read something on his face. Did he know you’d dress up? Did he make an educated guess? Was this his plan A or B? Shake yourself out of it when Jane steps out of his car. He walks around to open the door for you and extends his hand to help you out. Then promptly tosses the key over the hood to... a valet? Christ, you really can’t afford this place.

Jane puts your hand in the crook of his elbow and guides you towards glass french doors. “Don’t worry,” he whispers conspiratorially, leaning down. “The owner owes me a favour for discovering that his chef was running a drug ring in his kitchen.”

Choke on yourself a little; you definitely weren’t expecting that. Not sure what you were expecting, but definitely not that. Ignore the prickle of fear at the back of your neck. The drug ring is gone. There’s nothing to worry about.

When Jane leads you inside, you try to school your face. It’s fancy. Regardless of your wardrobe choice you feel obnoxiously underdressed. Even if you wanted to, you don’t have time to take in the setting. There’s a very noticeable table at the back of the place, off to your right. Two men in suits with too much bulk and an old man that looks like he has enough money to buy the entire restaurant and the people in it. You don’t snap your head away; too obvious. You make it look like you’re scoping the place out. Not sure what your expression is doing. What’s Jane doing to your left hand..?

“Good evening, name?” The host’s greeting is soft and almost enough to soothe your nerves. Almost. Shouldn’t be a surprise that Jane has a reservation. The restaurant is almost full; how long ago had he planned this? Were you a last-minute switch, a stand-in for someone else? What was going on?

“Mr and Mrs Jane, thank you.”

You do your best to breathe.

In.

And out.

You do your best to make it look like you just aren’t used to the change in name yet. But your mind stutters at the implication. Okay, you’re trying to fly under the radar. Why? The not-at-all-mobsters table? Is there something else you’re missing? Who are you trying to fool?

“Congratulations! I’ll be sure to let the chef know.” The host’s voice eventually snaps you out of your thoughts and you nod as excitedly as you can muster, letting Mr Jane lead you by the arm.

“You’re doing great. Just keep playing along,” Jane whispers into your ear. You do your best impression of a flustered and embarrassed new wife. It isn’t hard. Jane’s proximity to your ear makes the blood rush to your face. It’s stupid. At any other time you would’ve shaken your head clear and tried to focus on something else.

But there’s nothing else to focus on. Once you’re seated, the table is too small for you to really fidget. And then Mr Jane leans forward and puts both his hands on the table. Palms up. Ah, fuck. Alright. Okay.

You carefully place your hands into his. You single the ring finger in your left hand. That must have been what you felt. A dainty soaking ring glints there. And somehow fits perfectly. You try not to think about it too much.

“You saw them earlier,” Jane started quietly. The corners of his mouth pull up in mimicry of a man trying to hold his laughter. He leans forward; you follow suit. Try to ignore how close his face is. This is serious.

“The scary money man and his two stooges?,” you ask to confirm. He nods. “What about them?”

“Oh, absolutely nothing. Vasily Dostoyev is just another old man with money. We’re here for his son.” Mr Jane moves his eyes somewhere behind you. Try to remember who all else was at that table. Two goons, Old Money man, Trophy Wife... maybe the one sitting a little ways off staring out the window like the street lamps were about to kill him?

Jane must see the look of recognition on your face and nods. Rubs circles in the backs of your hands with his thumbs. It feels very reminiscent of the first night you spent at the CBI.

“So why am I here?”

Jane releases your hand to cup your face in his hands. You feel like your skin is about to combust. He leans forward to press his forehead against yours.

“You, my dear, are going to test your knife tonight.”

A waiter brings two large classes of wine. Jane raises his in a toast to you. And while anxiety bubbles in your chest unpleasantly, there’s something else underneath it that growls, needy and hungry. You clink your glass with his.

“To us,” you offer, hoping the fear and uncertainty in your voice can be misconstrued as excitement.

Jane’s expression changes in a way you can barely see or understand. Here’s something dark lurking just under the surface. You could see it, if only you could just dig a little.

“To us indeed.”

𝓣𝓪𝓰𝓵𝓲𝓼𝓽

@fucklife-or-me @yearningforsappho @mamacakeishereforfun

#honey and the hatchet #patrick jane x reader #the mentalist #patrick jane #patrick jane fanfiction #the mentalist fanfiction

[justfangirlthingies]

Caught my eye (Corpse Husband x reader)

Soulmate AU: In which everyone has one eye in their own eye colour and one in the colour of their soulmate. However, when you are close to meeting each other, your vision will change to the soulmate's one, letting you know you are close. When your eyes meet they will change their colour to their original eye colour.

Word count: 4189 words

Warnings: cursing because that is automatically given when writing about Corpse

Another Soulmate AU from my Wattpad account let's go!

Staring into the camera were a pair of, colourwise mismatched, eyes, one iris a deep brown and the other one a shimmering (e/c).

It was not unusual for someone to have two different eye colours in one set of eyes, it simply meant one had yet to find their significant other.

Pressing record on your camera you let your eyes stay right in front of the lens for a second before rolling backwards on your chair, your torso now in frame as well "Hello all of you beautiful individuals! I'm (y/yt/n) and as always I welcome you here!" You waved at your camera, a warm and welcoming smile gracing your lips. "In case this is your first time stumbling over this channel" you paused a second and giggled "Hi, welcome to this chaos!" Slowly you neared the camera again "Leave while you still can" you whisper shouted into your microphone.

"No hold on don't leave please! I was just kidding" You joked at your camera.

A happy sigh escaped your mouth as you leaned back in your chair "Today is q & a time isn't it?" You wiggled your eyebrows at the blinking light in front of you "Well let's get to it then...hmm...lemme see. Youtubetrash asks 'how old are you (Y/n)?' Do you always have to ask that question guys?" You scold playfully "I'm 19, but I really don't get why this is so important to you that I have to answer it in every video, like do you want to know the exact amount of days and minutes? Will you stop asking it every goddamn time then?" You chuckled as you ran a hand through your (h/l), (h/c) hair. "Right, next question! SusanIsAFish wants to know which eye colour my own is. I can easily answer that with either 'both are' or 'hell if I know' I've always had two eye colours like how am I supposed to know." A grin spread on your face as you continued to interact with your community's questions...

"Alright alright these are the last two questions guys. Nightmaresscareme...honestly same" you laughed as you read the users name out aloud. When you calmed down again you cleared your throat and continued "Ahem, anyways they wanna know if I found my soulmate already and who it is....Do I look like I found my soulmate?" You asked smiling as you approached the recording device once again and pointed a finger at each eye. "I have no Idea who it is but maybe you find whoever it is because all of you people are little Sherlock's I swear, you find out everything." Laughter erupted from your throat once again as you pointed at your camera.

"Last but not least, (y/n)stan asks 'when will you collab with Jack again? The two of you promised to make a video or something together?' Woah calm down, honestly I don't even think he remembers that, it was years ago. How do you even remember that (y/n)stan? I swear to god that's exactly what I meant with ya'll being Sherlock's." You wiggled your eyebrows again "But if you do remember, Seán and you magically happen to see this video. What happened to our collab plans dude?" You giggled "Alrighty guys that's it for today's video. Stay awesome my dudes, dudettes and in betweens and I'll see ya in the next one!" You winked and waved before stopping your recording and going straight to editing your video.

Just as you were about to upload your piece of work, your phone rang, scaring you in the process and causing you to delete your video. You groan in frustration holding your head in your palms.

"This better be important..." you mumbled to yourself as you went to check your phone. Seriously?! It was a Twitter notification. You sighed and ignored it for now, saving your video was a priority right now.

After hours of retrieving and re-editing your footage you finally uploaded the video to the worldwide known platform and picked up your phone to see what Twitter wanted from you.

As you opened the app you saw that it was a private message from none other than Jacksepticeye. What a freaking coincidence you thought, a smile now appearing on your face as you read the message. All your frustration was gone and instead replaced with confusion and laughter.  "What kind of message is that?" You muttered as you shook your head laughing.

Jacksepticeye:

Hey (Y/n) what colours are your eyes again?

(Y/T/N):

What kinda question is that? Lmao

Jacksepticeye:

Just answer my question dum dum :)

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A raven haired male was on a discord call with his online friend that he had just revealed his face to. "Jack what are you doing now?" The young man laughed at his friend.

"Hold on, I'm texting someone."

The dark haired man sighed and waited "that's not very polite you know" he smiled.

"Pschh I'm finding your soulmate, what's impolite about that?" The Irish man looked up from his phone and back at his Computer screen. Only to start laughing at the other's reaction.

"Corpse? You good?" He kept on laughing at the dumbfounded expression on Corpse's face.

Who as a reaction turned off his camera, suddenly feeling very insecure towards his friend again.

"What do you mean?" His deep voice asked cautious.

"Don't worry man I'm not leaking your face or any info to anyone" he smiled reassuringly. "Your eyes just reminded me of someone else with the same or very similar ones. At least I hope I remember their eye colours correctly" He rambled on.

"Oh..." came from the other line, which was now more quiet than usual.

Seán noticed the change in his friend's behaviour and immediately stopped what he was doing. "I'm sorry Corpse..." the Irishman scratched bis neck awkwardly "I should've asked you first"

"I-it's fine. I just can't imagine anyone wanting to be my soulmate" the male sighed.

His friend flashed an encouraging smile at the screen "Dude! Anyone would be happy to be your soulmate. I know I would be! You are great, I know you probably don't believe me but I mean it bud. Besides, your soulmate is your other half, it's like they were made for you"

One could hear a sigh coming from the black screen as Corpse turned his camera back on, his pink tinted cheeks now showing up on screen as well. He had put his eye-patch on, leaving only his brown eye visible. "And you're really sure?" He asked quietly.

"100% sure! Anyone with half a brain would know how lovable you are" the blue eyed male grinned. "Besides, the person I'm thinking of also has a YouTube channel, I think I still owe them a collab, sooo I could maybe invite them to play some kind of-"

He cut himself off. "They answered!"

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(Y/T/N):

Well they're like brown and (e/c), it's such a weird mix though.

Jacksepticeye:

Interesting.

Hey (Y/n), how about we do that collab? You could fly out and we meet up

(Y/T/N):

You still remember that? XD

Yeah sure I'd love that, I just had someone ask me about that collab today.

But seriously dude why are my eyes interesting to you all of a sudden? You found my soulmate or smth 🧐😂

Jacksepticeye:

😏😌🤭🤫

Right....

So when are you coming?

(Y/T/N):

Dude!

You literally just asked me if I even wanna come! Like come on, you think I've booked a flight already? Just like 10 minutes after you asked me to travel there?

Jacksepticeye:

As a matter of fact I don't just think so, I know it ;)

So when do I have the honors of picking your jet-lagged ass up at the airport?

(Y/T/N):

:(

...

This weekend

Time skip

A happy sigh escaped your lips as you felt the plane reaching the ground of its destination. You swiftly grabbed your bag and left the plane to get the rest of your luggage.

A yawn escaped your mouth as you grabbed your stuff, staying awake during the whole flight probably wasn't your best idea, but you couldn't help it. To you it was simply impossible to fall asleep on a journey by plane.

Your eyes skimmed the airport as you were searching for your friend.

After a few minutes of looking around you decided to sit down and wait, he was probably still on his way to the airport.

Just as you decided to open up your phone you got smacked in the face... With a balloon? "What the hell?" You whispered as you were pulled up from your seat and embraced. "(Y/N)! Hey! I haven't seen you in forever"

You looked up a little confused as you reciprocated the hug. "Well hello to you too Seán"

He chuckled and grabbed one of your bags before dragging you with him. "How can you be so motivated and energetic?" You giggled and tried to keep up with your Irish friend. "That (Y/n), is simply because I'm not sleep deprived like you"

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Setting up his stream was a curly haired nervous mess. He was always nervous when he had to stream. But today was somehow worse.

The half Mexican ran his fingers through his hair. It was just a game with friends right? However, he had never played this game before.

His nerves getting to him caused Corpse to cancel the idea of a stream. "I'll just be there and play along, that's fine too. I don't need to stream every time I'm playing a game with my friends..." he muttered to himself.

With a bottle of water beside him he started the game and went through the tutorial. "Man this game is fucking cute" he laughed before joining the discord call, just to be engulfed in a complete chaos of voices.

"Hey Corpse is here! Hi hi!" A Swedish voice boomed through his headphones along with the rest of the group greeting him. "Hey guys" he replied as he joined their server in the game. "So what are we doing? Why is no one starti-" the deep voice started but was cut of by someone else.

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"HOLY FUCKING- Who the hell was that?! Hello by the way" The whole call erupted in laughter at the reaction of the (h/c) haired individual.

"Uhh hi, that was me" Corpse answered laughing as he scratched his head nervously "and you also just answered my question for me thank you, whoever you are" Everyone laughed once again.

"Okay but seriously who are you?" Dave asked.

"Jack! You said you told em that I'd join" you huffed as you glanced At your friend next to you, you were sharing one discord account for this call as you sat right next to each other and didn't want the quality of the call to go down because of an echo. Both of you streamed online on twitch.

"Whoops! I thought I did" he chuckled once more as he introduced you to the party. "Well then..." he coughed in an attempt to clear his throat "Drum-roll please! this is (Y/n), they came to visit me this weekend. (Y/n), that's Dave, Felix, Joel, PJ and Corpse."

"Hi" you said suddenly a little nervous because you thought everyone knew you'd join.

Luckily no one seemed to mind that you were here as they greeted you. In fact, they seemed ecstatic to meet you.

"So have any of you not played this before?" Pewds asked the group. "Uh yeah, me" Yours and the deep voice said simultaneously. "But I did the tutorial" Corpse added. "Well I didn't" you laughed. "Great then we're all set, shame on you though (Y/n)!" Seán shouted.

"Jeez man, you told me to skip it and I can hear you! I'm right next to you and not deaf in case you didn't know" you sassed back, causing laughter to bounce through your headset once more.

"(Y/n) and Corpse you two haven't played before that means you count as one person for the group things cause both of you are noobs and if you count as one we have even team numbers" The swede joked.

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"We're the Meowfia" Jack laughed, starting off with his puns for this game.

(Y/n) snorted at that as everyone chose the animals of their teams. Corpse chose the cat with an eye-patch along with his team. "Maan this is peer pressure!" Your voice called out "lucky for me I like cats"

"That is the truth" the Irish voice boomed through the call once again, "I mean you should see, even their headphones have cat ears"

"I wanna see that!" Dave shouted.

"Can we see them in your cam Jack?" PJ asked.

"Not completely, they're streaming on Twitch though, its at (Y/YT/N) on Twitch and YouTube" Seán smiled as he pat your back.

"You can't just expose me like that!" The cute voice answered panicking.

"I gotta see that, hold on!" Felix shouted as he opened up your stream smirking as he followed you. "Corpse, they'll ruin your life" he continued as your cheeks flushed a bright red, suddenly feeling so exposed and put on the spot "why...why am I ruining his life?" You asked, cocking an eyebrow.

Corpse had also opened up your account as he stared in awe at the enchanting individual now on his computer screen. Were you the one Jack had meant? No it couldn't be.

"Well you see, he wrote a song about cat girls ruining his life. Right Corpse?" This statement made him come back to reality and quite flustered at that "Huh? What-  ...ohhh uhm- uh- yeah" he responded in a stutter, the pale skin of his cheeks heating up and turning red.

"Corpse are you alright?" you asked, concern not only laced in your voice but also written all over your face, which he saw. This whole ordeal just made him blush more. There was a short pause "...Yeah.." the raven haired responded. But not even a second later a laugh erupted in the call "Did we just catch you right handed?" The voice belonged to Dave. "What do you mean?" Corpse asked confused. While he waited for a response from his friend, he started fiddling with his rings as he kept his eyes on (Y/N)'s stream which was still pulled up on his screen. "Well, did we catch you watching her stream?" Dave replied trying to hold in his laughter.

Your expression changed as your eyes went wide and you looked right at your camera "Is that true?" Your voice chimed in as a hint of pink spread across your cheeks, one of your eyebrows arched. "Well..." The man with the username 'CORPSE' cleared his throat "I had to see if Jack and Felix were speaking the truth..."

A smirk spread across your face "And? Were they honest?" you laughed as your Irish companion moved his face into the frame of your camera wiggling his eyebrows. The only answer you got to your question was silence before the deep voice continued "Alright let's start this game." Yet another laugh escaped your throat when you noticed the lack of a reply to your question. However, one could say that silence was an answer on its own.

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The young guy sighed loudly after the game had ended, rolling back, away from his table, in his gaming chair he ran his hands through his curly hair. The game was fun, but it was exhausting for the man to concentrate on a game this long. Just as he was about to get up, turn all devices off and leave, he heard a familiar sound coming from his computer screen.

A discord call and video call at that was incoming from none other that Jacksepticeye. So, Corpse rolled forward in his chair again as he checked if his camera was turned off and covered. After reassuring himself that his face was hidden he accepted the call. "Hey whaddup?" He greeted his loud friend who immediately responded with a "Hey my man". His mismatched eyes widened as he looked at the screen, it was not only Jack on the call...they were there as well, a shy smile plastered on their face as they kept their eyes closed "Hey Corpse, tell me when your camera is off. Sean told me it might be on and I don't want you to accidentally expose yourself to me." "Oh yeah, it's off. You can open your eyes it's fine." Just as he finished his sentence their eyelids slowly fluttered open as they stared at the black screen and waved. There was no way to describe the feeling that went through him as he admired you in awe. He seemed starstruck and without thinking he blurted out "You have to visit San Diego sometime, but like soon"

Your eyes widened slightly not knowing how to respond to that "Umm...yeah I dunno, maybe someday?" Jack gasped dramatically "You never invited me over even though I'm the one you trusted enough to show your face to!"

Yet another time today, the male behind the black screen felt a blush grow on his face. "Well i-it's your fault for introducing me to your friend. And umm sorry if I was a bit too blunt there" He stuttered. "No it's fine. I'm a very spontaneous person ya know." You replied an embarrassed smile gracing your lips once more "But you could be a killer for all I know...sorry you probably hear that one a lot haha. Also, would you even be comfortable enough to meet up..." slowly you started drifting off with what you were saying. As soon as you realized you were trailing off of the topic at hand, you tried to get back to the conversation "ahem.. yeah, anyways as I was saying...someday sure. I mean...I am traveling around at the moment because I flew to Brighton. Maybe you know, we could get to know each other a bit better first" you smiled nervously as you replied.

"Ah yes...of course. Though I do have a question for you Seán. Is (Y/n) the one we spoke of a few days ago?" came back as a reply. He had a plan to gain their trust if they really were his suspected soulmate. The man next to (Y/n) nodded and gave a wink to the camera they used for the call. This action just confused you even more and it must have shown on your face because your loud friend started laughing at you. "Don't worry it was nothing bad" Jack reassured. "Hold on, is this about the random-" there was a lot of shuffling coming from the black screen. The noise had startled you a bit, causing you to stop mid sentence. "the random question about my eyes?" You continued your question, looking at that Irish friend of yours, but you didn't get a reply for there was another loud noise coming from Corpse's side of the screen. You shifted your attention back to the screen in front of you again just to be met with more shuffling and a sudden colour change of the screen. Your eyes widened as you saw a face only briefly for a split second before your vision suddenly changed. You looked around to see an unfamiliar room and as you saw the sight before your eyes you felt as though they were going to pop out of their sockets at any moment.

No...

No fucking way...

"Holy shit" you heard the words leave both your mouths. You just stared at the screen in front of you to see yourself, who apparently sat on the other side of the screen next to Seán. And you also saw the live view of a young man with black curly hair, dressed in black in a small window of the computer. You felt really dizzy all of a sudden and the light before your eyes went black briefly before returning to more used surroundings again.

Realisation dawned on you as you blinked a few times and spoke aloud "I-I just imagined that right? There's no way. C-Corpse you didn't happen to experience that right now, did-did you?"

"Holy fuck..." you heard a low mutter coming from the speakers.

Jack looked at you, eyebrows raised in confusion for a second before realization dawned on him and a knowing smirk appeared on his face as he shouted "CALLED IT!"

The two of you could not yet comprehend what was happening, let alone listen and realize what your mutual friend had to say.

After a few minutes of complete silence you tore your eyes away from the pen on Jack's desk, which had become the most interesting thing and perfect staring partner for the past minutes and shifted your gaze back to the young raven-haired individual before you, a small smile and a huge blush grazing your facial features as you spoke up, voice quiet and soft, but also full of nervousness "soo...umm...Corpse, are you gonna give me that address in San Diego?"

The question stood in the room for a few moments as silence engulfed you once again. Corpse's expression on his bright red face however, showed he was pondering."Y-yeah of course...sure...I-I'll text it to you if you give me that number of yours..." Then there was a pause. "Whe-When can I expect you then?"

This time it was your turn to think. "How about directly when you leave Brighton?" Jack chimed in. "But th-that's like in two days..." you stuttered in response. It was a nice idea and you did feel a pull to meet this handsome stranger as soon as possible. "Well yeah, that's the point is it not? I already checked for flights while you two where staring off somewhere....Sooo? Should I buy the ticket real quick? You can thank me later." Your mismatching eyes kept switching your gaze from your friend who had made this crazy suggestion and your apparent soulmate who now wore an eyepatch and was watching you expectantly while patiently awaiting your answer. A small sigh left your lips as you made your decision. When you tried to verbally answer though, your voice had left you, so you made eye-contact with the man also known as Corpse Husband, who had trusted you enough to reveal his face to you, and just gave him a small nod. He seemed to understand and gave you a reassuring smile.

"It's final then?" Seán, who had watched this whole ordeal unfold asked smiling happily as you just nodded once again "Y-yeah"

■

■

■

Two days later you found yourself on yet another plane ride, but this time it was not to England, nor was its destination your home. You sat on your seat in silence, music which you couldn't concentrate on, blasting through your headphones while you  twiddled with your fingers, bouncing your leg up and down quickly. What were you gonna say? He would pick you up outside of the airport in order to avoid bumping into things when the view-switching-thing would happen.

■

■

■

Meanwhile, the faceless YouTuber had finished tidying up his apartment and prepared everything for your arrival. He would be lying if he said he didn't look you up on the socials to learn more about you.

About half an hour before the plane would land he drove off to your designated meeting spot. He arrived there 10 minutes early so he could mentally prepare himself. About 5 minutes later he put on his black face mask and exited his car. At first he was gonna wait for you here, but his nerves and heart got the better of him, so he made his way closer inside the airport building to meet you halfway. What he didn't know was that your plane would land early. So, as he made his way through the people, which was way out of his comfort zone already, he started to see black dots clouding his view, but suddenly he came from the other side. Oh no. The body kept walking until he saw himself in the crowd.

Your eyes met as you tried to navigate through the crowd of people, it was hard as you had to control your own body somehow even though you could only see what your soulmate would usually see. Finally you had gotten somewhat closer to one another and as you came to a halt, your bodies mere inches apart as your eyesight returned to your own again. You looked up at the man in front of you in awe. Your eyes were fixated on his as you noticed the (e/c) in his one eye fade away, just to be replaced by this beautiful shade of brown that was in his other eye. The colour you knew so well because you had seen it in the mirror in one of your own eyes everyday. "Your eyes" you whispered. He smiled in return "yours too..it's nice to meet you (Y/n). My soulmate. You are even more dazzling in person" he complimented. "I can't say anything else besides the same applies to you" You smiled in return as your face went red. "Well then...Shall we?" he grinned as he took one of your backpacks and started walking. "Hey! Wait up!" You laughed as you ran to catch up to your soulmate...

#youtube #youtubers #corpse husband #corpse #corpse x you #corpse husband imagine #corpse x reader #gender neutral reader #soulmate #soulmate au #corpse soulmate au #corpse husband x y/n #youtube imagines #youtubers x reader

[sketching-shark]

LMK fandom: Oh, what do we do about this guy who has nothing but hurt Xiaotian, tried to replace Sun Wukong and his crew, hurt Tripitaka and ordered servants to cannibalize a monkey? Oh I know! We’ll turn him into our little meow meow~ he’s so innocent and Sun Wukong is obviously the villain!

What doesn’t help is this idea is perpetuated by multiple fan fic writers and artists for some reason. Especially some aus they make that turn SWK into a bastard for the sake of the story rather than considering cultural context and thinking they should be respectful.

And almost everyone lets them get away with it just because the art or fanfic is good and they get so popular that no one can point what is actually wrong without feeling like they’re going to get attacked.

I'm starting to feel like my blog is the one anons go to specifically to vent their frustrations about the Six Eared Macaque in his lego monkey show form & the associated fandom lmao. But I guess this makes sense, as I’ve had fun quasi-dragging him before & will in fact use this anon submission as an opportunity to have my own, to put it academically, bitch fest about not just this fandom's favorite protagonist-traumatizing meow meow, but about the way villains are often treated in not just fanon, but increasingly in canon works as well. But same policy as with the last anon; I'll post my opinions below the cut, and as fandoms love to say, don’t like don't read if you don't want to see me dunking on the six eared simian & common fandom tendencies towards villains.

Oh man I would say where would you even begin with this but anon you’ve pretty much started yourself with my main gripe with a lot of ways that the Six-Eared Macaque is portrayed in fandom; there seems to be this unspoken agreement that his acts of violence towards Sun Wukong, Qi Xioatian, and Qi Xioatian’s loved ones are either to be framed as somewhat or totally justified, to be immediately forgiven/excused, or to simply & completely be ignored. Like friends maybe this is just me not seeing the proper posts but while the fandom is inundated with art and fanfics of Macaque as a generally decent individual & a true member of team good guy, I have yet to see one person address the fact that this monkey literally kidnapped & mind-controlled Xiaotian’s best friend and father figures & forced them to brutalize Xiaotian while ol’ Six Ear looked on and laughed (X_X). Like this kind of fandom villain treatment is definitely not something that’s solely at work for Monkie Kid, but it is kind of nutty how fandoms will swing between yelling that people should be allowed to like villains without even mild critique, and then will just flat-out not address the villainous behavior, and will even bend over backwards to frame even characters who committed genocide as just poor innocent widdle victims who need a hug. At its worst, I’ve even seen tons of people in a fandom get really angry at other people who don’t like a villain, and will even start accusing those people of hating real-life mentally disabled or abused individuals all because they don’t like the fandom’s favorite literal war criminal. The Monkie Kid fandom is FAR more chill & better than a lot of other fandoms I’ve come across in that regard, but that is an exceedingly low bar, & the tendency to woobify certain kinds of villains-- as with Macaque and the extreme emphasis on his bad boy/sad boy thing--is very much at work.  

 I’ve also talked before about a kind of monoculturalization of certain character interpretations and story beats in fandoms, and one of the more popular ones that seems to be applied to Macaque a lot is the “hero actually bad, villain actually good” cliche, as observable from the general fandom assumption that Mr. Six-Ears he wasn’t even slightly lying or remembering things through a rose-tinted or skewed lens when he gave his version of his and Sun Wukong’s past. Like at this point it seems the possibility that people WILL NOT even consider is that Sun Wukong never did & still doesn't care that much about the Six Eared Macaque (in JTTW they weren’t sworn brothers & in Monkie Kid the only thing the monkey king really said to Macaque before attacking him was a pretty contemptuous "Aren't you ever going to get sick of living under my shadow?," & responds to his "beloved friend" getting blown up with "You did good, bud" to Qi Xiaotian, who did the exploding), or that their original fight may in fact have mostly been instigated by Macaque. After all, to repeat what this anon summarized & what I've said before about their original JTTW context (& in an example of the things that do feel like it's often lost in translation) is that the Six Ear Macaque was a villain not just because he beat up the Tang Monk, but because he wanted to take over Sun Wukong's entire life and identity so he could have all that glory, prestige, and power for himself. To quote the macaque himself from the Anthony C. Yu translation, "I struck the T'ang monk and I took the luggage...precisely because I want to go to the West all by myself to ask Buddha for the scriptures. When I deliver them to the Land of the East, it will be my success and no one else's. Those people of the South Jambudvipa Continent will honor me then as their patriarch and my fame will last for all posterity." And in order to do this, the Six Eared Macaque had apparently made Sun Wukong's "little ones," his monkey family, his captives through either trickery or force, and gotten a number of them to take on the appearance of Tang Sanzang and the other pilgrims. It's also made clear that in very direct contrast to Sun Wukong, he doesn't care about these monkeys beyond how they might serve him. In fact, after Sha Wujing kills the monkey posing as him the Six Eared Macaque not only all but immediately replaces him with another, but also "told his little ones to have the dead monkey skinned. Then his meat was taken to be fried and served as food along with coconut and grape wines." So this monkey is not only willing to risk the lives of a lot of other monkeys for his own personal benefit, but is also a literal cannibal. And yes yes, I know a lot of people have argued that Monkie Kid shouldn't be considered a direct sequel to JTTW & that's fair enough (for example, Sun Wukong probably shouldn't be smashing anyone into a meat patty in a children's cartoon lol). And of course, it needs to be noted that there are a buttload of really out there & really cursed pieces of media based on JTTW & that were created in China. Yet the above description is the oft-ignored in the west original facet of the Six Eared Macaque's character. And it is this selfishness, entitlement, and treatment of other individuals as tools for his own self-serving ends  that is, from where I’m standing, still very much present in Monkie Kid. Like besides repeatedly going out of his way to physically and psychologically traumatize Xioatian, with the last episode Macaque seemed to be going right back to his manipulative ways. I’ve seen people frame their last conversation as Macaque softening to Xioatian a little bit, but personally that read a lot more like that common tactic among abusers where even after they’ve hurt you they’ll dangle something you want or need over your head (in Macaque’s case, the promise of desperately needed training and information about a serious looming threat), with the implication that you’ll only get it if you do what they want you to, such as, in this case, Xioatian going back to Macaque as his student even after having been so terribly hurt by this monkey, which would give Macaque power over Xiaotian and probably Sun Wukong as a result. And it is this violence and manipulation that it seems the fandom at large has tacitly decided shouldn’t even be addressed, instead leaning more towards a (and this is an exaggeration) “Six-Eared Macaque my poor meow meow Sun Wukong has always been bad & has always been wrong about literally everything” reading. 

And while it is the case that I am not Chinese and feel that as such it would be best left to someone who actually comes from that background to provide more context into how common interpretations of the Six Eared Macaque from China may clash really badly with the stuff the western fandom creates, it also must be noted that, as much as we all want to have fun in fandom & in spite of all the out-there versions of JTTW from China, we westerners should recognize that there is a very long and very ugly history of western countries stripping other cultures’ important religious and literary works for parts & mashing them into their own thing while implying or even insisting that what they present provides a true understanding of the original piece. And while I trust most individuals in regards to Monkie Kid are able to step back and think “this is a lego cartoon and not a set guide for how I should understand JTTW” (especially given the insistence that JTTW and Monkie Kid should be considered there own separate works) there does nevertheless seem to be something of a tendency to take the conclusions people come to, for example, about Sun Wukong’s characteristic in his lego form & then assume that’s just reflective to Sun Wukong as a totality. I imagine a good portion of this is due to people not reading JTTW & especially to not having easy access to solid information or answers about JTTW’s many different facets (like geez awhile ago I was trying to get a clear answer on what is considered the most accurate translation of the names of Sun Wukong’s six sworn brothers & got like 5 different responses lmao), but that tendency to take a western fandom interpretation & run with it instead of doing any background research or questioning said interpretation is still very much at play. As such, & as made prominent in the way people have been interpreting the dynamic between Sun Wukong and the Six Eared Macaque in the lego monkey show, tbh it does seem kind of shitty for western creators & audience to sometimes go really out of their way to ignore all of this original cultural & narrative context for the sake of Angst (TM) in Macaque's favor, demonizing Sun Wukong, and shipping the monkey king with his evil twin (X_X).

And speaking of which, even beyond the potential inherent creepiness & revulsion that can be inspired by this specific ship given common interpretations of the og classic's original meaning (again, it's my understanding, given both summaries of translated Chinese academic texts I've been kindly provided with, my own reading of the Anthony C. Yu translation of JTTW, & vents from a number of Chinese people I've seen on this site, that the Six-Eared Macaque is commonly interpreted in China as having originated from Sun Wukong himself as a living embodiment of his worst traits, hence why only Buddha can tell the difference between them & why the monkey king is much more slow to violence after he kills the macaque), I'd argue that in the face of all the uwu poor widdle meow meow portrayals lego show Macaque is, especially if you include JTTW's events, still in the role of “Sun Wukong but worse” as he is very much a violent & selfish creep. Like he was basically running around in JTTW wearing a Sun Wukong fursuit, but there he had the sole reason of wanting to replace Sun Wukong wholesale so he could have all the good things in the monkey king's life without actually having to work as hard for them. But if you combine that with Macaque now claiming that he used to be best friend with Sun Wukong in his pre-journey days (something that's made funny from a JTTW context given that that status actually belongs to the Demon Bull King lol), his original violence has now blown into this centuries long and really unhealthy obsession with the monkey king. Like he's apparently gone from wanting to literally be Sun Wukong to being so obsessed with getting revenge on Sun Wukong that he's got basically nothing else going on in his life. Like he's only appeared in two episodes but...does he have any friends? Any family? A career or even a hobby that DOESN'T center the monkey king? Anything at all outside of his "get revenge on and/or kill Sun Wukong/use his successor as my personal punching bag” thing? Like dude! That is extremely creepy and extremely bad for everyone all around! As I’ve said before, this seeming refusal to see beyond the past or to do something that doesn’t involve Sun Wukong in some capacity is a trait that makes Macaque an interesting and somewhat tragic villain--he even seems to be working as Sun Wukong’s reflection in a mirror darkly, with lego show Sun Wukong pretty clearly not being able to heal from his own past which is hinted to be defined by one loss after another, and with Monkie Kid even kind of having these two characters somewhat follow their JTTW characterizations in that in the latter half of the journey Sun Wukong often gets sad & starts crying in the face of what seems insurmountable odds (& Monkie Kid Sun Wukong does seem to be hiding some serious depression behind a cheerful facade), whereas the Six-Eared Macaque retains a worse version of Sun Wukong’s pre-journey characteristic of getting pissed and lashing out if things don’t go his way--but it’s also what would make any current friendship or romantic relationship between these monkeys horrific. Although to be fair even the fandom seems to recognize this in an unconscious way, in that a lot of the art & fanfic seems to swing erratically between them kissing & screaming at each other in yet another example of bog-standard fandom adulation of romanticized toxic relationships lol.  

At the end of the day, of course, this is nothing new. You'll find versions of this dynamic across a ton of fandoms and now even canonical work. And as such, I can only look at this kind of popularized relationship dynamic with a kind of resigned weariness whenever it pops up, & my frustrated question with the popularity of this kind of pairing is the exact same one that I have for a multitude of blatantly toxic villain/hero ships, given common fandom discourse & the tendency to either ignore or justify the villain's actions & demonize the hero: if you're THAT convinced that everything is the hero's fault, if you believe THAT much that the hero is the one in the wrong for the villain's pain and their subsequent actions, then why are you so set on them not only becoming a romantic pair, but framing this get-together as a good thing? Like I know we contain multitudes but that's waaay too many contradictions for me to wrap my head around. And it definitely doesn’t help that one branch of underlying reasoning behind this kind of pairing seems to be the ever-present “you break it, you fix it” mentality, where the assumption is that if you’re in a failing, abusive, and/or generally toxic relationship (platonically or romantically), if you put in enough time and effort & attempts to compromise, you’ll be able to restore/have the relationship you dreamed of, even with someone who hurt you really badly. And this assumption isn’t limited to fandom: I’d even argue that it’s everywhere in the culture, hence why a lot of people feel like they “failed” if they have to get a divorce or make the choice to leave an unhealthy friendship. Personally, I feel like people could really benefit from more stories about how it is not only the case that the people you hurt don’t owe you their forgiveness & you can still become a better and happier person without the one you hurt in your life, & that while it can be really hard it can also be a good thing to leave a relationship, even if it’s one that once meant a lot to you. 

  But in all honestly, from my own perspective this kind of pairing is starting to read far less like enemies to lovers and far more like a horrible fantasy where you can pull whatever shit you want, even on the people you "love," & never be held accountable for your terrible behavior or even have to consider that maybe you were in the wrong. It's another facet that makes me larf every time I see people insist that fandom is an inherently "transformative" or "progressive" form of storytelling like friends you are literally just taking status quo toxic monogamy & rebranding it as somehow beneficial & romantic (X_X).

But as to anon’s last frustration, it is hard to know what is the appropriate response with this kind of thing...like for my own part I’m keeping my frustrations to my blog & now increasingly to posts that you would have to click on the “read more” button to see what I have to say, but I totally get the hesitation to give even a mild critique to big names in a fandom. Like I've now seen it happen repeatedly where someone who has a big name in a fandom will make something that's kind of shitty for one reason or another, someone will message them with some version of "hey, that's kind of shitty, you shouldn't do that," and the typical response is either to blatantly ignore the issue completely, or more popularly to make a giant crying circus that seems deliberately geared towards stoking emotions on both sides of the, for example, fiction does/doesn't affect reality issue so that something that didn't even have to be that big a deal gets blown out of all proportion, with the big name often framing what often started out as a very mild critique into a long crying jag about how the initial response to their kind of shitty thing was so mean/cruel and they're just a poor innocent & that YOU'RE the true racist/sexist/bigot etc. if you don't agree with their opinion. It must of course be noted that there have also been numerous instances of people taking it too far the other way & sending not just big names but smaller creators literal deaths threats over stuff like innocuous ships which like holy hell bells people that’s a horrible thing to do. But for the big names at least, the end result of all this fighting is usually that once the dust has settled they have more attention/fame/money/power in the fandom than before, and with anyone who might have a problem with their stuff feeling afraid to voice their opinion lest they be swarmed by that person's fans. In that way fandom does often seem to increasingly be geared towards presenting an “official” fandom perspective about various facets of a piece of media instead of allowing for a multitude of interpretations, and with criticism, no matter its shape or form or how genuinely warranted it may be, being hounded out of existence. I feel like a lot of this could be made less bad if there wasn’t this constant assumption & even drive to think that a different interpretation of or criticism of your favorite work of fiction or your fanwork isn’t a direct claim that you are a thoroughly loathsome individual (& maybe also if people cultivated an enjoyment of learning things about important works from a culture outside their own, even if what you learn clashes with your own initial understandings), but I guess we’ll see if that ever happens. 

So these are my general thinks about the Six Eared Macaque’s current fandom meow meow status & some of my bigger gripes with fandom tendencies as a whole. I stand by my idea that the most interesting & beneficial route for Macaque moving forward would be a kind of “redemption without forgiveness from the ones you hurt” arc--as I think was done pretty excellently with the character Grace in Infinity Train--and if for no other reason than gosh dern this monkey really needs to cultivate some sort of identity beyond his “Sun Wukong but worse” persona. 

#lmk macaque #monkie kid macaque #6 eared macaque #monkie kid #lmk sun wukong #qi xiaotian #lmk monkey king #sun wukong #monkey king #journey to the west #jttw #fandom criticism #lmk

[the7thcrow]

indulgence | part one

~

pairing: felix x (fem) vampire!reader series

summary: an indulgence grows to become dangerous, as the society of hampden college takes note of y/n’s new blood bag.

series masterlist.

word count: 4.9k

genre: forbidden love, angst (sorta), fluff, suggestive.

warnings: blood, suggestive content (kissing and a shirt comes off, nothing too crazy lmao), hook-ups (but nothing is explicitly described), strong language, and vampires ofc.

rating: 16+

a/n: hi everyone! this is my first fic, so i’m sorry if it’s a little messy. this is part one of what will be a series. i’d love to hear some feedback, so don’t be afraid to shoot me an ask or message! i hope you enjoy!

...

..

.

You are late. The pattering of rain echos from atop your umbrella, the puddles of pooling water soaking your loafers as you hurry along the busy street. However, you pay no mind as the liquid seeps into your shoes, mud embedding itself along your pant leg. On a normal day, you’d scowl. You’d curse the shitty weather, and grumble as you marched home to change into a dry pair of shoes. Only today is different. Today it doesn’t matter, not when you have far greater troubles warranting your concern.

The Council isn’t pleased. They’d be even more upset, if that were even possible, if you arrived tardy. You can imagine their old, petulant faces, looking down on you with disgust. Perhaps even pity, seeing you as nothing more than a childish young girl, who’d been foolish enough to break her vow. You frown to yourself, that’s all they would ever see you as. It didn’t matter how the years passed by, to them you were, and would always be simply that. A child. Always younger, always naive. Most of all, always beneath them.

The headquarters becomes visible in the distance, clouded in the slight haze of fog. It appears to be like any other building on the Hampden Campus. Old and rustic, elegant in the way it was shaped and carved, a relic of history reflected in a modern day era. Only this building holds a far different tale than those surrounding it.

Far more bloody. Far more gruesome. A home to monsters.

Monsters like yourself.

You knock on the door. Twice, slowly. Then a pause, before three times quickly. A code, letting anyone inside know that you are, in fact, a member of The Society. 

The door opens with a creak, a young boy with electric blue hair peeking out through the crack. After recognizing your face, he smiles, ushering you in quickly as the door slams shut behind you.

“Y/N! It’s good to see you. It’s been a while, huh?” The boy says, casually leaning against the door. It has been a while, you never came to this god awful building unless it was absolutely necessary.

“I guess it has been. But it’s nice to see you too, Jeongin,” you speak warmly in return. You’ve known Jeongin for a couple years now, since he first arrived at The Society doorstep. Alone and confused. A freshling, having just been turned. While perhaps not physically, he’s certainly grown since then, in both confidence and courage.

Suddenly, the smile drops from his face, his expression becoming sullen. “I hear you’ve gotten yourself into some trouble,” he states. When you don’t respond, he continues. “It’s not true, is it? I know you wouldn’t-”

“Listen, Jeongin,” you cut him off quickly. You aren’t in the mood to be lectured, especially not by someone whose opinion you actually care about. “I’m already running late. I’ll catch up with you after, okay?”

“Wait, Y/N!” He calls after you, but you’ve already disappeared down the hall, heading towards the council room. You quickly cast a glance at your watch. Shit, five minutes late. They wouldn’t forget that.

With only a quick breath to gather yourself, you burst in through the large wooden doors. The silence in the council room is deafening, as all heads turn to face you. In all your life, you’ve never seen so many dissatisfied faces. 

“Ms. L/N,” the head councilman calls. He has an old face, embedded with wrinkles and a scalp of thinning white hair. Unlucky. He could have been beautiful, or at the very least, young. However, he must’ve been turned late. A pity, to stare at such a reflection for eternity. 

You stifle a laugh. The frown he always appeared to be wearing probably wasn’t helping. 

“Take a seat,” he states, motioning to the chair seated in the center of the room. How dramatic you think, to put you in the middle of so many staring eyes. While the council was only composed of three individuals, the room seems to be full of other lower ranked members of The Society. 

As you take your seat, your gaze wanders the room, landing on a familiar head of shaggy brown hair. His eyes bore into your own, his expression serious. Perhaps even angry, the longer he stares at you. 

You want to say something. Mostly, to ask him what the fuck he’s doing here. This isn’t any of Chan’s business, yet for whatever reason he has the audacity to stare at you as if it is. As if you will grant him answers. As if he deserves answers.

“Ms. L/N,” the chairman interrupts your thoughts. “Do you know why you’re seated here today?” 

Why are you seated here today? Well, that answer is complicated. How could you have possibly gotten yourself into such a mess? How could you have been so foolish? You knew the rules. You knew what was permitted and what was not. Yet, you chose to ignore these conditions.

Why? What could possibly have made you toss everything you’d promised to the side? 

Well, that story starts with a head of bright blonde hair, and a set of curious eyes.

~~~~

The library of Hampden College had become something of a second home to you. Late nights spent bent over a book, transcribing various philosophies and literature into latin. Sometimes greek, however you didn’t have quite the same knack for it. That’s where you found yourself tonight, your beaten down copy of The Iliad staring back at you from its place on the table. 

Your classics degree was coming along just fine. You didn’t mind the endless books to read and poems to analyze. Nor the papers you often found yourself crafting from this very spot in the corner of the library. It was always quiet, always solitary at this time. Even the night owl students having gathered their books, departing the library for a brief rest before their early classes the following morning.

Tonight however, was different. You heard the door creak open, glancing up as a boy appeared in the doorway. He had long blonde hair, fluffing at the nape of his neck. Sporting a sharp blazer and a pair of oxfords, you couldn’t deny he was well dressed. Perhaps that’s why he grabbed your attention immediately, you were attracted to effort. To someone who was put together, who cared. 

The boy took a seat just a few tables away from your own, gently setting his books down and disappearing into the maze of shelves to your left. You attempted to go back to your work, but couldn’t seem to find your focus. Who was this boy? You’d never seen him before in all your time at Hampden. Also, why would he possibly be at the library so late? You recognized the faces of those who while rare, might possibly be here at this time of night. He wasn’t one of them. 

You would remember if he was.

You strained your neck trying to find his figure, having lost him almost immediately.

“A fan of Homer?” A voice rang out from beside your ear. You jumped in shock, greeted by a sweet smile and wide eyes. The boy chuckled. “I’m sorry, didn’t mean to scare you.”

You smiled sweetly, trying to calm your beating heart. “No worries. And well, you translate the entirety of Book Eight overnight into Greek, and tell me if you could still consider yourself a ‘fan of Homer.’”

The boy laughed before beginning to pull a chair out beside you. “May I?” He asked.

Looking back, you should have said no. You had a lot more work to do, and near no time to do it. Not to mention of course, rejecting him initially could have saved you from this whole mess. Instead you nodded, a grin forming at the corners of your lips as he sat down. 

“What’s your name?” He asked. His voice was sweet, sultry. Alarming in just how deep it was, not quite fitting his bright and youthful exterior. 

“Y/N, classics department. Yourself?”

“Felix,” he answered. There it was, the first time you heard the name that would cause your undoing. “I’m majoring in history. Listen,” he began, leaning in slightly closer as if he were going to tell you a secret, his voice lowering further. “I must say, I’m in here all the time, and I don’t think I’ve ever seen you before.”

You hummed, leaning in closer to him as well. His eyes glinted. “Well that’s simple, I’m assuming you don’t frequent the library at-” you glanced at your watch- “2:32 in the morning.”

Felix’s eyebrows furrowed with something like concern. “You’re here every night at this time? Why?”

“Hey,” you began, not wanting to lose the playful nature to the conversation. You’d heard enough concerned voices to last a lifetime already. “Aren’t you here this late yourself? You’re in no place to judge.”

He laughed, and you knew you could get used to that sound. “Fair enough, I’ll leave it be.”

“Why are you here this late, anyway?” You asked.

“Oh, so you get to know my secrets, but I can’t know yours?”

“Of course.”

He rolled his eyes playfully, resting his head on the desk, cradled by his crossed arms. “If you must know, I couldn’t sleep. Figured I’d read some of your classics, thought they might help me doze off.”

You shoved his arm, to which he feigned a groan of pain, clutching his shoulder. “Excuse you,” you laughed. “I have a lot of Homer to struggle through, and no time for your cheap shots. You can go ahead and leave now.”

You were surprised when he got to his feet, worried for a moment he’d taken you seriously and was actually about to make his exit. Instead, he disappeared into the philosophy section, emerging with a copy of The Odyssey. Felix flopped down back in his chair beside you, extending his feet on top of the table and leaning backwards. 

“Well, then I guess I’ll suffer along with you,” he said. Without another word, he flipped towards the first page.

Felix was a good person to study with. Well, technically you weren’t studying with him, but nonetheless it was nice to have him in the room. He didn’t bother you, didn’t speak, just let you do your work. Sometimes you’d look up and meet his gaze, his eyes imploring you. Curious. Mischievous. 

Dangerous.

“Alright,” you yawned after an hour or so had passed by, stretching your arms high in the air. “I’m done.”

He smiled, slowly closing his book and setting it down on the table. “Yeah? Finally going to go home and sleep?” 

“Sleep? What’s that?” You said, playfully scoffing. “Nah, it’s already past 3:30, it’ll be 4 by the time I get back to my apartment. Not worth it at this point.”

“Hmm,” Felix hummed, a flicker of mischief in his growing smile. “What ever will you do to pass the time?”

“I don’t know,” you returned, excitement building in your chest. “But I suppose I’ll leave you now. You still have about 3 quarters of The Odyssey to get through, and I don’t want to tear you away from-”

You shouldn’t have been surprised when his lips crashed into yours, but you were. You let out a small “mff” against the sudden impact. It took your brain a second to catch up to speed on what was happening. Here you were, with this incredibly beautiful boy of whom you literally just met, kissing in the middle of the library. 

Your second thought was about how you’d never done this before. Not kissing someone, hell you’d done a lot more than just that. But never a stranger, and certainly never a human, for that matter. You had to be careful with who you got close to, you never knew who could be dangerous, who could be a hunter. Besides, The Society had rules, and this alone was undoubtedly breaking a few of them.

So what the hell were you doing?

You should stop this, you thought. But the more you settled into a rhythm, the more your worries trailed from your mind. Felix was a good kisser. A really good kisser. His lips were soft, warm, his breath sharp with the taste of mint. When the dork had a chance to pop a tic tac you didn’t know, but it made you smile against him. 

You ran your fingers through his hair, leaning into him. He groaned in response, moving his hands down your figure, settling in on your waist. Carefully he began to fiddle with the buttons at the bottom of your blouse, and with that it all suddenly became real.

“We can’t do this,” you breathed, finally breaking away from him. 

“Oh, I’m sorry. I went too far, I-” he began to apologize, frantically removing his hands from your body and shifting backwards into his chair.

“No,” you replied, a smile tugging at the corner of your lips at his sweetness. You grabbed the collar of his shirt, gently tugging him closer to you. “We can’t do this here.” 

The Society had rules, plenty. Human’s, in any sort of relationship, were out of the question. Public displays of affection with even your own kind, especially of the more vulgar sort, were off limits as well. The idea was to not bring attention to yourselves, to not cause a scene. And if you were going to break one of these rules so terribly, you figured you could at least pay the respect to do so privately.

“Okay,” he mumbled, placing his forehead against your own. “Where should we go?”

“My place? It’s a little far from here, but I don’t have any roommates. So..”

Felix smiled, planting a soft, lingering kiss at the nape of your neck. “Lead the way.”

~~~~

The walk over to your apartment wasn’t awkward per say, it was simply...charged. Felix had his arm looped around your own, making your way silently down the dark, lantern lit path through campus. You could feel your heart beating rapidly in your chest, a desire thrumming down inside you, resurfacing. It had been a long time since you’d last been with someone. That last person being Chan, your ex as of eight months ago.

Things had been good with Chan. Great even, in the beginning at least. He was intense, thoughtful. He loved you deeply. Most of all, Chan understood. Like you, he was a member of The Society. He was under every restriction you were, and felt all the same frustrations. 

Of course, not all good things can last. Eventually your relationship began to sour. Your arguments became full on brawls. Your differences and quirks became unbearable. You couldn’t be in the same room without being at one another's throats. You were the one who finally decided to end things. 

Chan was the only man you’d ever loved, and since him you’d never entertained the thought of being with another. Until now, that is. You glanced towards Felix, who was staring ahead down the street, his eyes dark. You could feel his own desire radiating off of him, visible in the way he slowly swallowed, his adam’s apple bobbing. Besides, Felix could give you something more. Something Chan could never.

No. You stopped yourself. That wouldn’t be happening tonight. It would only make things more complicated, more dangerous. Still, you could feel it deep inside you, pounding for control. That familiar, incessant hunger. The more you tried to ignore it, the more it was there. Becoming stronger as your ears focused in on Felix’s heart beat, the sound of blood pumping through his veins.

You were pulled from your thoughts as the sight of your apartment complex appeared in front of you. Quietly you entered, making your way up the stairs and towards your own door. Releasing your arm from Felix’s, you fumbled for your keys in your purse. Giving him a small smile, you twisted your key in the lock, and allowed him inside.

The moment you closed your apartment door, all bets were off. Felix tossed his books onto your kitchen table, clashing into you with a speed that almost made you lose your own breath. You felt your back press against the wall behind you, Felix’s lips devouring your own. Desperate and wanting.

He quickly revisited the buttons of your blouse, this time starting at the top and beginning to make his way down. All the meanwhile his lips traced your neck, gently brushing against your skin. With every new kiss fueling your own desire, you slowly began to rock your hips into his own. This was escalating. Fast. As he finished with the last button, he allowed your blouse to drop from your shoulders, smiling to himself as he took you in. 

“Your turn,” you breathed, tugging at the collar of his shirt as a signal to take it off. He did so, absent-mindedly tossing it aside into your living room. He took your chin in his hand, forcing you to look up at him, staring deeply into your eyes. Then he proceeded to say the very last thing you ever expected him to:

“Look at your eyes… You haven’t fed in weeks, have you?”

You slapped his hand away and shoved him off of you, rushing to the otherside of the room, putting the coffee table between yourselves. “How-How do you?” You stammered, physically unable to form a complete sentence. How could he possibly know what you were? How did he even know you existed?

Felix’s eyes widened, clearly shocked by your reaction. “No, no. Don’t worry!” He said frantically, outstretching his hand to you. “Listen, I’m not going to hurt you or anything. I didn’t mean to scare you, I’m sorry! I’m sorry.”

You stared at him, disbelievingly. “Yeah? And how do I know that?” You let this man into your home, your safe space. How could you have been so stupid?

“Look, I grew up around Vampires okay? My neighbors, back in my childhood home, they were like you. I know the signs. I know how your eyes blow out when you’re hungry, the way they glaze over when you haven’t fed in a while. That’s it. I didn’t even realize until I got a good look at you, back when you were translating. It’s no big deal, really.”

You scoffed. No big deal? Felix didn’t seem to realize just how big of a deal it actually was. Humans weren’t supposed to know what you were, certainly not at Hampden. The Society had made well sure of that. God, if The Council saw you now...

“Y/N, I’m sorry. I should have told you back at the library. I honestly didn’t think it would freak you out this much. That’s on me,” he said, inching slightly closer to you. Despite yourself, you didn’t move away.  “I’m serious though, it’s been a while since you last fed. Hasn’t it?”

A while was an understatement. The Society had been going through a shortage of blood bags, after having severed their connections with one of the nearby hospitals. Meaning if you wanted to drink, it would have to be from one of their Certified Donors. Which was another, fancier and far more innocent way of saying prisoners. These were humans who had given their lives to The Society, some willingly and others not so much.

You didn’t like going to their quarters. Located in the basement of the main district, it was always quiet down there. Always solemn. You’d never been to a place lacking so much hope. You’d only gone once, and drinking from that man still haunts you to this day. The way he didn’t move or speak, or even wince when your fangs broke his skin. The way his eyes were hollow and empty. How when you were done he simply laid down in his bed and turned away from you, without another word. 

The Certified Donors were what made you begin to hate The Society in the first place. Since then, your resentment only seemed to grow. 

You sighed, walking past him and flopping onto your couch. “Yeah, it’s been a while,” you confessed.

Felix carefully approached you. Instead of seating himself next to you, he got down on his knees, resting a hand on your thigh. “It’s okay, you can use me. I don’t mind.”

You were ready to tell him no, the word lingering on the tip of your tongue. However, you couldn’t bring yourself to deny him. Perhaps it was your hunger, the fact that a few more weeks in this drought, you might actually become ill. 

Or maybe, just maybe, it was the fact that you wanted to disobey the society. That this little act of rebellion, this utterly wrong indulgence, was what made your desire grow unbearable, unchained. You hated The Council, you hated the Certified Donor system, and you hated the way they had such a firm grip and control on your life.

A beautiful boy was seated in front of you, begging you to drink from him. How could you possibly say no? Better yet, why would you say no? To deprive yourself of something so great, for something you despised so deeply seemed ridiculous. That was the moment your judgment lapsed, that you crossed the point of no return. If you drank from Felix, there would be no going back. If the council found out, there would be consequences. Big ones.

But who doesn’t love a little risk?

You sunk down to meet him on the floor, staring at his bare chest. You could hear his heart pumping, its pace quickening the closer you got to him. 

“Are you sure about this?” You asked.

“Yes,” he whispered. You shifted your position. Not quite seating yourself in his lap, but hovering above, your knees on either side of him. 

“This might hurt a little bit,” you warned. You extended your fangs, approaching his neck, carefully. You didn’t realize until then how nervous you were. It had been a long time since you’d fed from a human. You’d drank from Chan of course, but he was also a vampire, and your blood didn’t have quite the same effect. There was pleasure in it, usually accompanied in moments of ecstasy, but it didn’t replenish you. It didn’t heighten your senses, nor fill you with energy. Most of all, it didn’t satisfy your hunger, your thirst. Not at all.

Felix’s blood would. 

You kept this in mind as you finally plunged your fangs into his neck. Felix let out a gasp, tensing beneath you, his hand clutching onto your arm for support. The taste of his blood grazed your tongue, metallic and warm. Delicious.

Fuck, did blood ever taste this good before? You didn’t think so.

The sweet taste consumed you. Intoxicating. Raw. Cascading over your mind in a blanket of pleasure, reveling in the way its effects seeped over your body. You could feel your mind growing sharper, your senses becoming more alert. It was a relief, after weeks of blurry weakness, of being too close to humanity in your thirst. You felt yourself again, the monster you are. The monster you are glad to be.

Here you were powerful. Invincible. And all you wanted was more. More. More.

More of this power, this sensation, this strength. This is what feeding should be. What feeding can give you. Not from a blood bag, nor a helpless prisoner, but from someone you want. Someone you desire. Someone who desires you in return.

It was as you felt Felix’s grip on your arm loosen that you finally broke away, breathing hard as you caught your breath. Felix’s eyes shifted to yours lazily, dazed. Perhaps even delirious. For a moment you feared that you’d taken too much. He blinked slowly, his eyes regaining focus.

Then he smiled. “Shit Y/N…” he began, his voice appearing more of a croak. “That felt really fucking good.” 

You grinned, leaning into him and pressing a series of kisses up along his jaw. Felix shivered, allowing his hands to slowly slide up your figure. Wanting.

“Yeah?” You whispered, your lips brushing against his ear. “Then how about we continue where we left off?”

      ~~~~

The next morning you woke to the sound of your alarm buzzing, sunlight peeking through the opening of your drapes. You heard a low groan next to your ear, quickly becoming aware of the hand wrapped around your waist. 

So last night really happened. The reality of your situation dawned on you. You’d both drank from and fucked a human. There was no going back now, you’d completely disobeyed The Society.

Worst of all? You didn’t care. At least, not near as much as you should have. 

You shifted to face Felix, seeing his eyes still closed, eyebrows furrowed. “Hey,” you whispered, planting a soft kiss on the tip of his nose. “We have to get up. I have class.”

He groaned again in protest, shaking his head and burying his face into the crook of your neck. Between last night's events and the ringing of your alarm, you both only got about two hours of sleep, and that was being generous. This was no problem for you, as while sleep was a luxury, it was not a necessity. The same didn’t go for Felix.

“Come on,” you laughed, worming out of his grasp. “You’ll be fine, I’ll go make us some coffee.”

You rolled out of bed, throwing on Felix’s discarded shirt and heading towards your kitchen. Flicking on the radio, you felt oddly blissful as you grounded the coffee beans into a filter. It had been a long time since there’d been another person in your apartment. It made the space seem less… haunted. No longer lingering with the essence of Chan’s ghost. It felt fresh. New. 

Felix emerged from your bedroom, rubbing his eyes sleepily, sporting only his khaki’s from the past day. His gaze met yours and he smiled. “So, I take it my shirt is yours now?”

“Mhm,” you hummed, leaning forward over your kitchen counter. Felix bent down, causing you to become nose-level with one another. The close proximity made your heart race.

“Mean,” he murmured, leaning forward to kiss you softly. There was no unchained desire, no promise of more. It was simple, warm. A morning of peace after a night of wildness.

You could get used to this, you thought.

The thought sunk in your chest like a stone. This wouldn’t be as simple as you wanted to be, as you needed it to be. There would be sacrifices to make, and cautions you’d have to adhere to. You had to get the truth out in the open. Better to rip the bandaid off now rather than later.

 “Felix, you can’t tell anyone about this.” You said. The smile faded from Felix’s face, and for a moment he looked so… hurt. He stepped back.

“About the feeding? Y/N, I wouldn’t tell anyone what you are, don’t worry about-”

“No, not just the feeding. About us. About any of it.”

Felix opened his mouth to say something, but then quickly closed it. His gaze hardened. “Ah. Got it,” he stated sharply, grabbing his blazer and motioning to the door. “I’ll just head out then.”

“Wait, Felix! No, it’s not like that,” you said, rushing around the kitchen island and reaching for his arm. He turned around to face you, his expression wounded. “Listen, I don’t know how it was with your old neighbors, but here at Hampden things are different. There’s certain rules we have to follow, and what you and I did? Well, that broke about a hundred of them.”

Felix was silent for a moment, then sighed. “Okay… But what do you mean rules? Who’s enforcing them? Hampden?”

“No, it’s bigger than that. There’s a group of us here, a society. There are rules we abide by, and they’re meant to keep us safe. Keep us united,” you explained.

“Like a cult?” Felix asked, and you had to refrain from rolling your eyes.

“Well, if that helps you, then whatever. Yeah, sure. A cult.”

“Where do you-”

“I’m sorry,” you cut him off. “But that’s all I can really tell you, at least for now. Honestly, the less you know, the better. Just for safety’s sake.”

“Oh. Alright,” Felix said, his lips pursed. He wasn’t pleased, that much was obvious.

“I know this sucks, I’m sorry. But if we want to keep doing this-”

“Wait,” Felix interrupted, his eyebrows knitted together in confusion. “You want to keep doing this? I thought you’d get in trouble?”

You smiled, and were pleased to see the corners of his mouth curve up in return. “I’ve already risked getting myself in trouble.” You trailed your finger along the bare of his chest, feeling the warmth radiating from his skin. He was so alive, so real. And it only made you want him more. Perhaps, that’s why he wanted you as well. You were unpredictable, wild. A challenge. 

A match made in hell.

“I dug myself a grave, Lix.” You looked up at him, entranced by the curiosity swimming in his eyes. “Might as well lie in it.”

~~

next chapter 

#skz fanfic #skz fanfiction #skz x reader #stray kids x reader #stray kids x y/n #felix x reader #skz felix #stray kids felix #stray kids felix x reader #skz felix x reader #vampire skz #vampire stray kids #vampire felix #skz x vampire reader #stray kids x vampire reader #felix x vampire reader #stray kids #skz #felix fan fic #felix fan fiction

[like-rain-or-confetti]

What do you think the guards first dance song would be at their wedding?

Disclaimer: This is my opinion.

So I'm going to slightly change this because I don't think the Volturi would ever get married for obvious reasons as well as I don't think they'd choose anything modern. HOWEVER, I have a trick up my sleeve. Could I interest you in a love song for each other guards and (Y/N)?

Alec: Ruelle - I get to love you.

It's slow and fluid. The song really makes you fall in love with falling in love. It's about finding the one in the person and wanting to love them forever.

Alec comes from 'simpler' times and was alone (not including Jane). He never thought he'd fall in love you have anyone as close to that until (Y/N) came along. Alec was raised to want marriage and children as that is how that was supposed to be. However that never happened and he never received that kind of love. Perhaps (Y/N) doesn't really know where life with the Volturi will lead or even where there human life was going. With one look at Alec, (Y/N)'s life falls in line. One look at (Y/N) and Alec knows his life is about to change but that's alright. He's slowly become comfortable in that. Both feel incredibly lucky to have found each other and even more so that loving the other is the best thing they could do because it feels so right. Furthermore, it means the world that (Y/N) is making that promise to Alec that they'll always love him. That's new territory for Alec and major. So for that, he will always choose them and isn't he lucky because (Y/N) would do the same. Of course there isn't a wedding but the vow is the same. "Forever, I do."

Demetri: Ed Sheeran - Perfect

Demetri is a charmer and I'm sure he's met all kinds of people. This song is fitting on finding the one and being absolutely in love with them. I feel strongly that Demetri would think his mate perfect, including their flaws. They could be the most flawed individual in the world and he'll still think of them nothing less than perfect.

It has more instruments etc, more oomph (lmao) than Alec's song and I think that symbolises Demetri being more experienced.

So Demetri is certain he has found his love and asks that his mate trusts in him to guide them through the process. He feels incredibly lucky to have found (Y/N). Having a mate to him is literally dancing in the dark. He has no idea where it will lead him but he's happy wherever it is as long as it's with his mate. There is no downside to this.

Jane: Twenty-One Pilots cover -  Can't help falling in love with you 

With this version of the song, there is a build up. One guy with a Ukulele. It symbolises the beginning of Jane and (Y/N)'s relationship. As the song continues it builds along with their relationship.

Feelings develop regardless of the two’s wishes.

(Y/N) will be the first to admit and accept that they’re in love with Jane. Meanwhile Jane likely would be at war with herself to ditch you but she can’t seem to let you go. Therefore she’ll be in denial and try to ignore this issue until it goes away. That is until everyone around her is direct with her that they know Jane is very much in love with (Y/N). It would take a long time for Jane to really accept her feelings.

(Y/N) makes it sounds simple because in their eyes it is. If Jane takes their hand then she might as well take their life too because (Y/N) is completely and utterly Jane’s and (Y/N) is happy with that. Seeing (Y/N) take such a risk of vulnerability for her convinces her to do the same and the two become inseparable for eternity.

The relationship acts as a reminder to Jane that there is some good and beauty in the world.

Felix: Catie Turner -  Home

Throughout everything in this song, it's very light and heart warming. Much like (Y/N) and Felix's relationship.

Being a fighter and a part of the Volturi, Felix isn't exactly the easiest to settle. He's always waiting for the next fight and given his fighting skills and as the main executioner. Therefore to put it simply...(Y/N) is his home. His stability. No matter where he goes or what he does, he'll always find his way back to (Y/N) and miss (Y/N) every step of the way.

[navyinks]

askbox

i know i usually answer these individually and draw something fun to go with it, but i’m just feeling a little overwhelmed irl and online right now and i don’t want anyone thinking i’m ignoring messages!! so here we go,

Thank you friend, I’m not exactly sure what a soothing art style is but if it gives you good vibes then i’m glad! 👍

askdfhg this reminded me i still need to continue my nolofinwean designs but yea!! I think Fingon would be a really nice bro, he would have observed enough from the feanorians to know what (not) to do with young elves x”D

a god tier design choice, even if i do say so myself 😤 //jk but thank you, glad you enjoy them!

I LOVE THEM TOO so much i made something for the summer bang for it x”D I just think there’s a lot of uncle/nephew relationship to be explored there! really want to draw more of them when i’ve got time for it xD

you are too kind xD Oh i didn’t post it here but here’s a little size comparison i made the other day for myself! i love to exploit the fact maedhros is a tall person for the height difference x”D

look his head comes up to his collarbones, isn’t that cute xD

Thanks for your message friend, you have a great day too <3

oh no i have deceived ppl into thinking i’m a good artist LMAO you are very sweet, but please, you deserve to shoot higher than whatever i’ve got going on here x”D

-----

Thanks for your messages! May was kinda a tough month and reading every one of these has made my day better. I’ve still got a backload of work to get through so i apologise for answering them in a group text post like this, but i promise i’ll be more diligent with new ones xD

#askbox #i can't believe i put these off for so long #one of you guys already deactivated your account ;;;; #i'm sorry i'm terrible #i hope you can understand though ;;;;

[nimikyu]

do u ever just..... become a cryptid to everyone u know except for a very few ppl

#i have so many ppl I want to talk to but also like 👌 much interacting energy and it’s dumb having to ration it #i am recovering like the amount of energy is slowly growing #but it’s so frustrating not being able to reach out to everyone individually and tell them that I care #love that!! #this is just a general psa for anyone I haven’t talked to recently I promise I’m not meaning to ignore u #and when this funk goes away I’ll be back to talk and rb things more in full #for now tho I must be mia urrrgh I am.... both sorry and unapologetic bc I can tell that it’s what needs to be done #but I feel like I’m alienating ppl by being absent lmao #anyway #sarah un-shuts her quiznak #delete.... later? maybe

[ex-silent-reader]

Happy Holidays fic recs

Happy Holidays everybody!  I haven’t been commenting on posts individually like i normally like to so it’s kind of backed up a bit. I still really want to thank all the authors who have been sharing their stories with us and leave a lil itty bitty comment before I can expand on them for their own post so here’s that! Also I’ve seen a lot of undeserved negativity being spread to a lot of authors and I just want to thank you all for sharing your work on this platform FOR FREE and remind you that you literally owe us nothing and I’m super grateful that you continue to share with us. These are just some stories that I’ve read this week, i’d def like to do another of these soon :)

Disclaimer: I DO NOT own any of these stories, each story is owned by the author tagged next to the title and the summary is pulled verbatim from their page, in quotation marks. The only thing I own is gratitude towards these authors for sharing their work with us.

Also all stories are rated M 

Also, a loooot of stories have come out lately and I haven’t had a chance to get to a lot of them yet but i hope to soon so I’ll hopefully make another one of these soon, but yea pls know that I’m not purposefully ignoring or excluding anything or anyone.

Jin;

last christmas | ksj x reader - @xjoonchildx

“ summary: it was bound to happen, eventually. after months of near misses at barbecues and birthdays, there’s no avoiding your ex-husband at hoseok’s annual christmas bash. but it’s fine, totally fine, because you’re both adults – and you’ve both brought dates and booze. what could go wrong? “

This story was amazing! First of all, I love the comedy surrounding the entire situation, Hobi with his 8 trees and instigator Yoongi who also wants them to get their shit together for Hobi’s sake. I love all au’s but sometimes exes to lovers is difficult for me to side with because I don’t see how people can bounce back from so much hurt but in this story it felt very natural how they were able to find their way back together and I really enjoyed the insight to their relationship, especially near the end.

Yoongi;

CREAM & SUGA -  @snackhobi

“summary: yoongi is your favourite regular. he’s patient, polite, and predictable, a-large-black-coffee-to-go-please, no cream, no sugar, thank you. rinse and repeat. the seasons might change, but yoongi’s order stays the same.

and then one fateful day in winter, yoongi asks about the weekly specials, orders a cup of christmas and sugary sweetness, and everything starts changing.”

Ya’ll. Yoongi fics just truly hit different. The plot of this was so adorable and him going out of his way like that to keep her engaged was so cute and just very Yoongi like. I also just really loved the descriptions in this, like how oc described making the drinks, it just made everything seem so real.

universe | myg drabble - @personasintro

                           “❥𝒔𝒚𝒏𝒐𝒑𝒔𝒊𝒔; you’re his whole universe, you just don’t know it yet – or him” 

ASDFGHJKL! Like, I really have no words for the way this made me feel. Like, ik it’s not a super healthy dynamic but the thought of a fixated Yoongi is.. I loved reading Yoongi being so fixated with oc and doing everything i his capability to meet her. I also was v interested in the part where he bumped into her and she didn’t react the way he expected because it made me think about how he (or any character’s with his mindset) cope when the fantast and reality don’t match.

Hobi;

 A Holly, Jolly Crisis (M) -  @kpopfanfictrash

* Blog doesn’t allow copy/paste and I wanted to respect that*

This story made me feel so many things. Like there’s so many layers to it and both of their hurt, her visiting him and feeling betrayed while he felt pushed aside. This story was so complex and both characters had so many layers to them, but it’s still sooo well written and I was invested the entire time. Like, I genuinely can’t get my feelings out in a brief way so I’m looking forward to screaming about this in it’s own post.

Joonie;

 my only wish - knj | m - @ppersonna

“✹ summary- There are few things you hate most in this world. Hornets, unnecessary fruit pieces in otherwise perfectly good jello, certain shades of orange… But nothing takes the cake more than two simple things. Christmas. And Kim Namjoon. So why did you agree to pretend to be Kim Namjoon’s girlfriend at his family Christmas party? Bah-Humbug. “

UM! Absolutely adored this story, of course it would be a fellow cream suit enthusiast who can bring so much justice to dreamy Joon. I loved how he was portrayed here and getting insight to both his and oc’s feelings made me root for them soooo hard.

new parent syndrome - @1kook

“ SUMMARY You love Namjoon, honest. But you love your daughter Hyejoo even more— it’s not a controversial sentiment when you know he’s the same way! —and going back to a regular adult life sans kids absolutely sucks. (Or so you thought.)”

The tag “dreamy husband joon” is extremelyyyy accurate. This story was just so cute and their relationship truly felt so intimate and lovely. Her being on the phone with Jimin while Joon was smash SENT me but it was also so hot like ASDFGHJKL that man can do no wrong tbh.

  laundry day - @snackhobi

“summary: You’ve been letting your laundry pile up for a little too long. Fortunately, your neighbour Namjoon is there to lend you a hand. “

Pls this was so hot. Like, I’ve made it very clear thus far that I’m a total simp for Joon, the thought of that man going strawberry picking and thinking to grab some for oc genuinely makes me SWOON. He’s an actual heartthrob.

   The Sweet in Sweet Potato - @sahmfanficbts

“ Summary: You’ve been roommates for years. Now that you’re catching feelings, it’s time to run away. “

This entire series has had me so invested but this chapter!!! I’m always a sucker for Joon but the way he was so clearly in her feels (for OC) but wanting to respect her need for distance, what a man. And I was so happy to see oc working through her feeling towards Joon.

Last Christmas (M) - @jjungkookislife

* Blog doesn’t allow copy/paste and I wanted to respect that*

Damn, I really love when a misunderstanding is such a big catalyst for a bunch of drama/angst. It just really ups the tension for me because as the reader I know it was a misunderstanding but clearly the character’s don’t, so it just makes me really eager to see how they make amends. I really enjoyed seeing them slowly make amends and grow. Also the buildup to them deciding to give the relationship another go made the ending soooo satisfying.

Jimin;

 picking petals｜pjm - @taestybae

“ summary ↣ you asked for a baby, so a baby is what you’re going to get. “

I really have no words for this, like it was so asaifgjhhkc. First of all, I really enjoyed that it was through his pov, i don’t typically read stories like that (I just don’t often come across them) but this still felt so natural that I didn’t even realize until right now, writing this comment. Also, the imagery was so well described and the anticipation built made this story so enjoyable.

Taehyung;

 Deepest Indulgence  - @scribblemetae

“ Description/Summary: The world is a mess, gangs, violence and rates of poverty are at an all time high since corporations took over everything. You built your Sex house to be a safe place and a sanctuary for those in need, promising to protect anybody who needs it. What happens when an extremely attractive and very rich man walks through the door begging for a job at Deepest Indulgence? The one sex house that wasn’t meant for men like himself. “

I AM SO EAGER FOR THE NEXT CHAPTER TO COME OUT. Like, idk how I can even describe this correctly but this just feel so much like Tae...???? Like idk if that makes sense but just Tae being this v sensual man, but there still being more to him than that, just makes so much sense and even the word “indulgence” is just so sensual and reminiscent of him. Also, the storyline so far is something I’ve personally never seen before and I’m super invested in this world and story already. Very eager to see how their relationship progresses.

 let it snow | kth - @suga-kookiemonster

* Blog doesn’t allow copy/paste and I wanted to respect that*

It’s the way I read this last night, it took me exactly an hour (3am to 4 am cause I’m a CLOWN), and I was so invested that I kept putting off sleep to finish it. Man, i’m a simp for this Tae (just like he is for oc lmao). I really enjoyed reading it and the mention of Jisoo earlier in the story had me on the edge of my seat the whole time wondering when things were gonna blow up. Everything was just so sweet and fluffy, and the confession really made me feel so soft for them both cause they both were so in their own heads and feelings they couldn’t see what was in front of them so I really enjoyed the confessions.

Jungkook;

Thank you, baby - @scribblemetae

“ Turns out the boy whos been stalking you for years has decided its about time he shows his face in the form of a picture, and decides its time to talk to you for real, in the form of a phone call. “

I genuinely don’t know how I can simp over this story in a short way but I’ll try my best. The characters are so complex and the storyline is twisted so many ways that make this so interesting to read and easy to become invested in. The way Jk is written, I understand why OC is lost on how to feel for him. Like, his actions are wrong, but actually meeting him and even seeing his though process, it’s hard to make him out to be the villian that his actions have categorized him as. I can’t wait to continue reading and write a full length comment about this!

FEED ME, FIGHT ME.  @yeojaa

“ What do you get when you mix a pissed off girlfriend with a neglectful boyfriend?  (Aside from trouble, that is.) “

I really enjoyed this, I love how aware of Jk and his boundaries the oc is and how she is cautious to walk the line and not push him too far while also letting him know how his actions make her feel. This just genuinely felt like a glimpse into a very real, very intimate relationship/moment and I loved that. I also just really love how this is written and I think you have a beautiful way with words. 

Chapstick - @softyoongiionly

“based on the time Jungkook said he needed someone to scold him so he’d remember to put lip balm on. Or Jungkook’s had a really long day and the only that can make it better, is seeing you. “

Idk if I’ve ever said it before, but I just love how you write relationships. Like, I can feel how comfortable they are with each other and how natural being together is for them. With your stories generally it just never feels forced and I really love that. I also really liked that we got Jk’s pov in the beginning, getting to see how tense he was really made me eager for their interactions and for him to feel comfortable and calm with her. Their interactions just felt so cute and natural and the end, assdjfhi, jk really deserves to be cherished and I loved seeing oc get him to the point of relaxation.

#bts fic #jin #kim seokjin x reader #yoongi #min yoongi x reader #hobi #jung hoseok x reader #joonie #kim namjoon x reader #jimin #park jimin x reader #tae #kim taehyung x reader #jk #jeon jungkook x reader #fic #Idk how to format these sorry #also i hope the tags are working #these are just ones i've recently read more #I plan to do another one once I read some more #This took an embarrasingly long time to do #embarassingly #can anybody guess who my bias is

[morwensteelsheen]

farawyn and borodred for the ship ask game thing?

thank you so much!! :)

okay i’ll start with borodred because for some unfathomable reason i actually got there first —

1. What made you ship it?

One of my favourite Types of ships is the Elder Statesmen Of War-type set-ups, where it’s less about people brought together through theatrical romantic gestures and more about the steadiness of people who are going through similar (immensely difficult) circumstances, who know that in their hearts they’re always going to put their duty to that cause first, but still seek out human comfort in other people who will understand what their priorities are and why.

I think there’s also a lot of similarities about the kind of helplessness they both face despite having this tremendous innate strength. Both of them still have to deal with family dynamics that are complex (made more complex by the war) and that can’t be fixed just by their own sheer will power; both of them die these utterly unnecessary deaths (not that death makes a ship but I think in this instance it actually points to the constant tragedy these guys face); and both of them are meant to be the principal figures of their families and people and are ultimately sidelined by the cruel mechanisations of war and the forward march of history or whatever wanky term there is for it — my apologies to ep thompson's ghost, dont haunt me bro.

Plus there’s obviously the interesting thread raised when Faramir starts bitching about Gondor and likens Gondor (and by very explicit extension, Boromir) to Rohan. That always made me go ‘Hmmmmmm, wonder what else Boromir liked about Rohan,’ lmao.

Anyways for me the ship is the equivalent of Star Wars’ Kanan and Hera or (my OTP to end all others) Luke and Wedge, just people getting by on love and duty and without big ol fancy romance.

2. What are your favorite things about the ship?

The fanon, I think, really makes it, as with so many other LOTR ships. battlefield manners, by themightypen is essentially the definitive take for me on them — these two guys who are just so fucking exhausted, man, but still overcome by defensive love for their families, even if their (foster-)siblings are naïve fools. That I just love, love, love. Plus I think they’re unique for their ability to pretty comfortable explore the relationship between Gondor & Rohan in advance of the Ring War without having to stray too far into AU, which I always appreciate.

3. Is there an unpopular opinion you have on your ship?

Not really, tbh, except in that I don’t think Boromir is necessarily as laddy as people like to portray him. I’m happy to play into it in, say, my modern AUs because I think that’s a fun and sweet niche for him, but I am a bit 🤪 about Boromir as this kind of reckless, drunken playboy (not least because I think that’s a much funnier niche for Faramir to fill, at least when he’s younger). Chapter Four of Swaddledog’s Hearts and Minds gets my preferred Boromir characterisation absolutely spot on, I think.

And now, sigh, the ultimate OTP, Farawyn —

1. What made you ship it?

For starters, I think I am obsessed with Éowyn in a way I’ve never quite been obsessed with any other fictional character. I came to reading LOTR at this moment in my life where I was intensely frustrated about everything — trapped inside permanently (helplessly!) because of the pandemic, just starting a new political organisation that I truly believed in but that was still making me feel like shit, facing down an untenable about of work, and, fundamentally, really, really hating being a woman and what that means. And along comes Éowyn, who is bitter, who is cold, who is ANGRY, and who doesn’t perform joy or softness or gentleness just because people expect her to. She’s this seminal Woman Of War in so many ways, I think the kind of person a lot of us wish we could be. She’s got her emotional taps cut off at the source, she holds her head high and faces down unimaginable personal and political terrors, and at the end of it all still has this abiding love for her family that, I would argue, is almost unparalleled by anyone else in the book.

After all that, she gets this incredible moment of emotional catharsis (or what we expect to be emotional catharsis): “no living man am I!” She undertakes THE greatest martial act of the Ring War, and in that moment there’s this unbelievably sophisticated dialogue happening about gender (“Éowyn it was, and Dernhelm also”), and leadership (Merry finding his courage not because of the immediate scenario of the Witch-king, but because he’s spurred into it by Éowyn’s presence), and love and care.

And then we learn that no, actually, this glorious act of violence wasn’t the emotional catharsis we thought it would be. She gets to ride to war, she gets to throw herself headlong at death, and in the end that hopeless act of individualism isn’t really what does it for her. She’s still left desolate and despairing, and actually all of her problems haven’t gone away.

And then we need to rewind a bit, because along comes Faramir, who is gentle, and is kind, and does seem to believe in joy, but not because people expect it — actually it's made abundantly clear nobody expects it — but because it’s something quite innate to how he figures the world. And he’s a huge fucking nerd too. I have a lot of thoughts on Faramir’s flaws and why I find them endearing, which I won’t put here, but almost immediately you get this sense of a guy who’s quite melodramatic, good humoured, and very much not made to live in a time of war.

But he’s also clear-headed about war and what it requires (tactically, if not strategically, though that’s a post for another day), but who is kind of cynical and weary of it in his own unique way. And it’s a unique cynicism given his personal circumstances because he’s the second son of The great family of Gondor, he’s apparently — though with some big ol’ question marks hanging about the extent — very able to command some of the elite units in the realm, and what’s more than that, he’s got all these fantastical powers (the light mind reading to start, to say nothing of this apparently magical ability to command animals too. bruh.). By all accounts he should be this brazen hot mess, but he’s not. He’s desperate to claw his way out of this war-torn cage of expectation his people have for how a man should comport himself in time of war. Is it a little naïve? Sure. A little fussy? Absolutely. But does it point to that same desperation that Éowyn has? Yes! But also the practicality, like, neither of them are really enjoying the circumstances they live under, but good fucking god are they both able to Make It Work.

So finally we get to the Houses of Healing and what is the finest and most aggressively romantic writing of LOTR. Seriously, it’s so fucking much. It’s breathtaking. It reminds me quite viscerally of this fabulous quote from Les Mis:

The power of a glance has been so much abused in love stories, that it has come to be disbelieved in. Few people dare now to say that two beings have fallen in love because they have looked at each other. Yet it is in this way that love begins, and in this way only.

At some point I will devote more time to talking about the two reasons line, and the blissful Queen of Gondor speech, but I think to me that big, important line is: “And then her heart changed, or at least she understood it; and the winter passed, and the sun shone upon her.”

It’s not about Éowyn changing herself entirely (though, I think, it really does bear mentioning that she does change, and that’s every bit as important to understanding that scene as it is romantic), it’s about Éowyn coming to terms with how to live with herself as herself, and how to live in communion with someone else. She can’t just cut people out anymore, and she can’t just treat them as objects of infatuation as she did with Aragorn, she has to reckon with people as they are. And that’s sort of the moment where I knew I was about to plunge fully off the deep end with these two and never know a moments’ peace again, lmao.

2. What are your favorite things about the ship?

Someone on here once called Farawyn a love letter to women and, by god, yes, exactly that. I love the capacity for emotional intimacy, that is beautiful in ways I can’t express. To me, though, my favourite thing is the promise of life they speak of. Not as in oh they shag loads and have babies (though not opposed to that, obviously), but in the sense that unlike Aragorn and Arwen, who are always going to be buried under/burdened with the crushing weight of history and tradition, Éowyn and Faramir are going out yonder those hills and they’re going to do some real cottagecore farming shit. Obviously with all the trappings of rank and nobility and whatnot, but they, unique to anybody else in the books, get to sow this new idea of what life should be. They are, outside of Aragorn, the single most powerful people in Gondor. Éowyn’s got the ear of a king, a steward (which is essentially a prime-ministerial deal here), and functionally her own prince (if the hobbits are to be believed when they refer to it as essentially hers). I suspect that, in life, there were remarkably few arguments she wasn’t winning, and that Ithilien probably trended towards the jumped up noble hippie camp Tolkien so desperately wanted Oxford to be (or, in other words — Cambridge, lol).

3. Is there an unpopular opinion you have on your ship?

Yeah, man, everybody stop treating Faramir like he’s a big fucking crybaby and Éowyn like she’s some kind of shrieking 2010-era tumblr girl.

One of the single most important lines defining Faramir’s character is when Denethor roasts his ass for always trying to appear noble and lordly, if you ignore every other piece of textual evidence we have about him, what part of that line makes you think Faramir’s some simpering daisy? And why would you want to link tremendous emotional intelligence and care with being too limp-wristed to function, lol??? Like I struggle loads with writing Faramir, because I have never once in my life tried to be noble or self-restrained, so find it hard to get into that mindset, but better, I think, to imagine him too closed off than to do this wilting flower song and dance lmao.

And stop making Éowyn out to be this over-emotional angst machine. She’s got problems, yes, and she’s sure as shit got a lot of angst, but at almost every point in the book where we’re overtly dealing with her emotions, she’s sublimating them into something else. One of the most serious times we see her cry is when she’s fighting with Aragorn about riding out, and after that moment she literally tries to kill herself. Those tears aren’t standard, man, that’s a real watershed (lol) moment for her. You have to read around what the text is saying to get a better feel why everybody’s constantly calling her cold and distant.

#god this is probably obnoxiously long because i can't do cuts on my phone #but refuse to open the tumblr website on my laptop lmao #faramir #éowyn #boromir #théodred #farawyn #borodred #god sorry for these fucking tags man im just trying to make my blog slightly more organised #i just have a lot of thoughts #i should really write more metas it would probably help my writing out quite a bit #asks #meta

[zigtheeortega]

PLATINUM WEEKEND PLAYLIST

in a spurt of energy i decided to finish the playlist i’d been working on for a while! this turned into a raleigh playlist, and i’m a little sorry about it but not really :/ this playlist is nsfw and all of the descriptions are under the cut! [there’s a line separating the spanish-language songs’ explanations]

1. anywhere

we can make love on the bedroom / floating on top of my waterbed / i'm kissing you / running my fingers through your hair / in the hallway / making our way beside the stairs / we can do it anywhere

most singers are influenced by their predecessors, so i have no doubt that raleigh listened to old r&b groups and practiced lead vocals, background vocals, & harmonies to them in the shower. this one stands out to me because i think it captures just the right amount of smooth sensual energy that raleigh exudes at all times. 112 is immaculate and no doubt one of raleigh’s favs.

2. nasty

promise I'ma give it to you like you never had it / i do it so good, it's gon' be hard to break the habit / you're like a whole constellation / swimming like you on vacation / promise i'm still gonna love you when you wake up in the a.m.

you can’t convince me that raleigh didn’t listen to ariana’s album when it dropped and went absolutely wide eyed when they heard these lyrics like “she really went there...” – but then it became a staple of every ~secret playlist to do the horizontal polka to~ 

3. sex money feelings die

all my lights off when i wake up / tears under my makeup / your lips will stay shut / wanna wake up, break up / i don't wanna think about, think about you / drink up, drink up / i'm so fucked up / all i want is you / no, i don't wanna think about, think about you / sex money feelings die / baby don't you cry

so this is the song i’ve latched onto for my mc dom. i have a headcanon (i think i’ve said it on main a lot, and i’ve even made edits for it) that after the breakup, which everyone else thinks is real, but they think is fake, but is actually real, dom drives to the studio super late at night and just belts out the lyrics while sobbing just to get them off of her shoulders. and it accidentally becomes a hit! which makes raleigh feel even more like shit 

4. facetime

back up all that shit you talking / facetimin' my baby tonight, oh / bet you wanna cop a feel / bet you wonder if it's real / facetimin' my baby tonight / and when you coming home / i'm gon' give you all of my love / i'm gon' put it on you / i said ooh you a hell of a drug

not to get too in detail but raleigh is an ~active~ individual, so i have no doubt that during long tours, they’re facetiming mc for some quality time. and this one’s just sensual and sweet like raleigh’s relationship is so!  

5. only 1

i know all the competition that's after you / so i get to thinking, is this too good to be true? / i can't, be your, only one / no i can't, be your only one / 'cause you look twice as good as anyone i ever met / and your love is three times better / how could anyone forget? / as I'm layin' down, with you every night / it still gets to me, that you remain by my side / i ain't saying that i'm not deservin' of you / but i was dreaming, bigger than i ever knew

raleigh’s convinced they don’t deserve someone as good as the mc and this for sure seems to be one of those songs that they heard when ari’s album dropped and they were like “jeez this is sappy” then they turn out to relate to it super hard like the clown they are

6. kissin’ on my tattoos

now i ain't ever been the jealous type of guy / but i want you to myself, i can't lie / i know we ain't on no one on one thing / but baby, it should change / 'cause when i be out with other chicks i be thinking 'bout you / and when you be out on dates you be texting me too / i don't want nobody but you / kissin' on my tattoos / i don't want nobody but me / talkin' to you / until you fall asleep / we better stop playing (we better stop playing) / before we mess around and someone gets hurt

now this... this is THE quintessential raleigh song for me. like when i think of raleigh this is THE first song that comes to mind. the entire song beginning to end is raleigh singing about mc. like i am convinced if this existed in their universe, they ghostwrote it for mc. genuinely the MOST raleigh song in existence and i cannot be convinced otherwise

7. life of an outlaw

not gonna put the lyrics but this would absolutely be on one of raleigh’s playlists that they play pre-concert to get hyped up, or a workout playlist. i just feel it in my bones that their fav music is from the 90′s ok

8. watch ‘n’ learn

i'ma do it, do it, do it / on the bed, on the floor, on the couch / only 'cause your lips say make it to my mouth / just because i can't kiss back / doesn't mean you can't kiss that / baby all i need / all doing on me / like you aimed to please / show me how much you mean it / by the way that you please me, baby

another song on their freaky deeky playlist ! i know raleigh’s prob tried to get with rihanna at least once in their lives

9. freaky girls

i'ma be your freak any time or place, any day of the week / said i'ma let you hit it, i ain't scared, i ain't shy, it's cool with me 

yet ANOTHER song on their freaky deeky playlist ! sorry im not taking this more seriously im just daydreaming ab the songs that raleigh would add to their secret playlists

10. thinkin’ bout you

thinking bout ya, dreaming bout ya / i don't wanna be without ya / pillow talking, heaven walking / been about ya, still about ya / you ain't gotta worry bout it, baby girl, you know i got you / drinking out the bottle to deal with all my problems like / i should call / i thought i had the right one the last time around

god this is post breakup raleigh through and through. i have a hc that raleigh ghostwrites a lot of songs for people especially ones that fuck with their brand – they collabed on this with micah and a popular rapper and micah was like :/ come on now raleigh i KNOW who this is about

11. un-thinkable

moment of honesty / someone's gotta take the lead tonight, who's it gonna be? / i'm gonna sit right here and tell you all that comes to me / if you have something to say, you should say it right now / you give me a feeling that i never felt before / and i deserve it, i think i deserve it / it's becoming something that's impossible to ignore / and i can't take it / i know you said to me / this is exactly how it should feel when it's meant to be

raleigh’s confession!!!!!!!! lord this reminds me of when they were on the beach together just talking and vibing – or really any time that they took

12. kiss it better

been waiting on that sunshine / boy, I think I need that back / can't do it like that / no one else gonna get it like that / man, fuck your pride, just take it on back, boy / take it on back boy, take it back all night / what are you willing to do? / oh, tell me what you're willing to do? / kiss it, kiss it better, baby

i think raleigh would cover this omg and maybe im biased bc it’s my fav song of all time but it just exudes raleigh energy!! plus i think this might be on their freaky deeky playlist LMAO

13. unrequited love

lost in the flames of love / unrequited love / time won't always heal / and it eats at my mind / because you're the one that got away / sometimes i feel alone / tried to hold my breath / somewhere deep in space / and i felt like you understood / what it truly means to be in love / now i'm wide open, it's so hard to focus / now that it's the end, i guess you'll always be / the one that got away

you know raleigh was super in their feelings after the breakup – i don’t think they knew how fast they’d fall for the mc. even if they didn’t admit it out loud, i think they were convinced they wouldn’t find someone like the mc again. anyways this song is sad as hell

14. you’re mine

come a little closer / let me tell you something / eat your ego honey / honey swallow your pride / i spotted you the second you walked in the building / i knew that you had let me get you high / i wanna hear the things you say when no-one's listening / no one's gonna save you / use you up and break you / i'm the one who plagues you every night / 'cause you're mine.

so the song itself is ab a toxic relationship, but tbh i can picture my mc dom and raleigh singing this duet on stage together and the chemistry would be absolutely off the charts oh my god. 

––––

[disclaimer, i do not speak spanish, but i grew up listening to it and a lot of them have a lot of significance to me – i hope the rough translations i found online will do! some of them are very rough so i’ll just put the spanish lyrics]

so with all of these spanish songs im convinced that raleigh would cover any of these! most of them are really romantic and have the same vibe as what i imagine raleigh would have !! not gonna do a lot of explaining here because i think this explanation speaks for itself

15. viento

préstame tu peine / y péiname el alma / desenrédame / fuera de este mundo / dime que no / estoy sonándote / enséñame / de que estamos hechos.

lend me your comb / and comb my soul / untangle me / away from this world / tell me i'm not / dreaming of you / show me / what we’re made of

16. visita

que no es gusto, no es mi voluntad / que es lo que te digo / que aunque no me veas yo voi a estar / siempre contigo / la semana me parte en dos / de viernes a domingo / tu visita me repara cuando nos conecta entonces / quiero que te vengas a vivir, todos los dias conmigo

do not have a translation that makes a lot of grammatical sense for this one, but it’s generally about wanting to be closer to each other and move in together rather than visiting! it’s a really sweet song and the distance aspect reminds me of raleigh and mc

17. te quiero

te quiero / no, ya no me llores / no me vayas a hacer / llorar a mí / dame, dame tu mano / intentalo, mi niña / quiero verte reir / necesito verte / donde quiera que estes / te quiero, te quiero, te quiero / y no hago otra cosa / que pensar en ti / solo vivo y respiro / para ti 

i love you / no, don’t cry for me anymore / don’t make me cry / give me, give me your hand / try, my darling / i want to see you laughing / i need to see you / wherever you are / i love you, i love you, i love you / i don’t do anything else / than thinking about you / i only live and breath / for you

imagining raleigh singing this for mc......... swoooooon

18. maría

not offering a translation, but it’s a sad song that i think raleigh would potentially cover!

19. efímera

nos miramos a través del cuerpo y la piel / se conectaron nuestras almas / es que tus ojos de miel deslumbran mi ser / cuando la oscuridad me atrapa / cuando me besas / me siento en otra parte / me hierve la sangre / me derrite el corazón

we saw each other through our bodies and skin / our souls connected / its cause your honey colored eyes dazzle my being / when the darkness traps me / when you kiss me / i feel like i’m in another place / my blood boils / it melts my heart

“it’s like every song i’ve ever written was about you” this is one of em for sure

20. obsesion

son las cinco de la mañana y no he dormido nada / pensado en tu belleza en loco voy a parar / el insomnio es me castigo, tu amor será mi alivio / y hasta que no seas mía, no viviré en paz

it’s five in the morning and i haven’t slept at all / thinking bout your beauty, i’m gonna end up crazy / insomnia is my punishment, your love will be my relief / and until you’re mine, i will not live in peace

raleigh and mc would duet this!!!! the lyrics themselves aren’t really about their relationship but i think the vocals would be perfect for them

21. quiero ver

quiero ver tu risa todo el día / escuchar la melodía de tu voz / quisiera ser el brillo de tus ojos / el peine que desnuda tu esplendor / la esquina que te ve cuando caminas / y quiero ser tu último dolor / te pido que me cures esta herida / yo sé muy bien que no es tu obligación / tan sólo si amortiguas mi caída / será mi salvación

i want to see your smile all day / listen to the melody of your voice / i wish i could be the brightness of your eyes / the comb that undresses your splendor / the corner that sees you when you walk / i want to be your last pain / i ask you to heal this wound / i know very well it’s not your obligation / just only if you cushion my fall / it’ll be my salvation

this one makes me so soft oh my god and its another “it’s like every song i’ve ever written was about you” type of song

22. más que tu amigo

es un secreto / que tan solo quiero compartir / con esos ojos / que le han dado luz a mi vivir / y en esta noche no hay más luna / que como tú me alumbre más / que en mi alma crece una fortuna / por tanta dicha que me das / te quiero, te quiero / se oye en mi pecho / es el grande amor que me has hecho / latido a latido / te siento conmigo / yo quiero ser más que tu amigo

it is a secret / i just want to share / with those eyes / that give me light to live / and tonight there is no more moon / that shines on em as brightly as you do / in my soul grows a fortune / for such happiness that you bring me / i love you, i love you / you can hear in my chest / it’s the great love you’ve made me / heartbeat to heartbeat / i feel you with me / i want to be more than your friend

god i can just imagine them singing this to mc teasingly during their fake relationship and she’s like “sounds pretty i love your voice” but it’s really a confession AHHH

23. peligroso pop

no explanation on this one either! i just think this spanglish song would no doubt be on a playlist of raleigh’s !!! i’m also imagining raleigh dancing to this or going to this artists’ concert or something. idk it just reminds me of him !!!

24. eres

aquí estoy a tu lado / y espero aquí sentado hasta el final / no te has imaginado / lo que por tí esperado, pues eres / lo que yo amo en éste mundo, eso eres / cada minuto lo que pienso, eso eres / lo que más cuido en este mundo, eso eres

here i am by your side / and i’ll wait here, sitting, until the end / you haven’t imagined / what i’ve waited for you, because you are / what i love in this world, that’s what you are / every minute in what i think, that’s what you are / what i treasure most in this world, that’s what you are

this entire song is raleigh singing to mc, but like this little section is just SO sappy. that one line i keep mentioning? yeah that’s this song

25. locos

estoy contento de tenerte cerca / muy cerca de mí / que me digas loco / que me des besos / y que te rías de mí / y sé que nunca te lo he dicho / y me da miedo confesar / pero antes, quiero besarte / que llevo loco, tratando de decirte / que ya no puedo vivir sin ti

i’m happy because you’re close / very close to me / cause you call me crazy / cause you give me kisses / and laugh at me / and i know i’ve never told you this / and i’m afraid to confess / but first, i want to kiss you / i’m crazy, trying to tell you / that i can no longer live without you

god this reminds me of raleigh so much like ??? ok i dont know if this makes sense but imagine raleigh not being able to quite say the words they’re feeling so they just sing a song in spanish instead because they one, express their feelings through lyrics better and two, they know mc doesn’t understand spanish (this is specifically for non spanish speaking mcs)

26. no te puedo olvidar

sé que nunca me equivoqué / en lo que siento / y cuando me tocas la piel / me desvanezco / sé que miraremos a la última estrella / así nos conectaremos / yo te necesito más de lo que piensas / más de lo que puedo creer / vives en mí y en mi materia / no te quedo olvidar

i know i was never wrong / about what i feel / and when you touch my skin / i vanish / i know we’re gonna stare at the last star / that’s how we’ll connect / and i need you more than you can imagine / more than you can believe / you live in me and in my matter / i can’t forget you

this is one of the most romantic songs i swear to gooooddddd i think if raleigh and mc ever broke up this would be what they wrote afterwards – but also i think in general he’d write this about her without the breakup ! idk i’m just in love with this song. anyways

OKAY I’M DONE RAMBLING I HOPE YOU ENJOYED THIS PLAYLIST !!!! this is what i’ve been listening to while i’ve been reblogging posts today !!!

#playchoices #platinum #platinumweekend #raleigh carrera #raleigh carrera x mc #playlist

[slytherinbarnes]

Sub Rosa [26]

xiii. resurrection

Pairing: Bellamy Blake x reader

Word Count: 3.2k

Warnings: Violence, blood, fighting, death. 

Summary: As Cage’s suspicions rise, you and Bellamy work to stay hidden in the mountain while also protecting your friends. 

a/n: hello little moon babies! so I just finished writing season 4 a few days ago, and I’m currently proofreading it and fixing any plot holes that I tend to create lmao. but in the next few days, i’ll get started on season 5, yay!!! i’m trying to get as far ahead as I can, because i think it will take me a little time to write season 7 (if you’ve seen s7, you understand why) and I don’t want y’all to have to wait too long between updates! but if i get enough extra content written, then I’ll probably start posting 3 times a week, if y’all are into that. okay, that’s all, I love you all v much, thank you for being the kindest ever!!! also, the taglist for this series is open! I hope you enjoy, please let me know what you think!!!

previous chapter // season masterlist // series masterlist // map

You and Bellamy are standing in the small control room of the warehouse, celebrating your little victory when Maya’s voice crackles through the radio. “They’ve got Fox! They’re taking her to the fourth level!”

You and Bellamy exchange a look before taking off running back to the emergency ladder. You both get inside and start to climb down as quickly as possible, hoping that you make it to the fourth floor before it’s too late. When you pass the giant four printed on the wall inside the emergency tunnel, Bellamy slips through the nearest access door and helps you through, before quietly sliding the door closed again. 

He takes out his gun and starts to sneak down the hall, guessing at every intersection which way to go, hoping you don’t run into anyone else on this unexplored level. Bellamy stops when he reaches the next intersection, growing more unsure by the second, and he’s turning to ask your opinion when you hear it. A scream from down the hall.

“Fox,” you whisper. 

Bellamy takes off running down the path to the left, leading you farther and farther away from the access point, but bringing you closer and closer to the source of the screams. You’re both running down a long hallway when someone yells out, “Stop!”

You and Bellamy freeze and turn around slowly, coming face to face with two guards in protective gear: helmets, bullet proof vests, gloves, goggles. They both start to approach you, weapons raised, as they question, “What are you two doing here?”

When they get within lunging distance, you and Bellamy attack, each focusing on the guard in front of you. You knock your guard's gun out of his hand, and dodge the punch he sends your way. You counter with a punch of your own, but the gear covering his body deflects most of the impact. His neck punch lands on your stomach, and you double over, grunting with pain, and that’s when you see a shock baton attached to his thigh. 

You slide the baton from its holster and activate it as you shove it in the space between his helmet and protective gear, right into his neck. He hits the ground, knocked out from the pain, and you turn towards Bellamy and yell, “Catch!”

He spins and catches the baton with ease, delivering a similar blow, and knocking the man unconscious. He yells, “Get his vest and his gun!”

You grab both, along with the holster off his thigh, and pull the vest on as you follow Bellamy down the hall, his face now hidden behind the guard’s helmet and goggles. The screams reach an alarming level of desperation and you tear down the hall towards it. Bellamy stops you at the door, holding a finger up to his lips, before he spins around the corner, gun raised. You attach the holster to your thigh quickly, before you peek around and watch as Fox breaks free from the guads, only to turn and have Bellamy’s gun trained on her. She steps to the side slowly, guided by his gun as the guards thank him. And with lightning fast speed, Bellamy turns towards them and fires two shots, killing the guards one after the next. You step into the room as Bellamy tugs off his helmet, revealing his face, and Fox runs towards him and hugs him, crying, “Bellamy!”

“Are you okay?”

She nods as she pulls away, and when she sees you approaching she brushes past him and collides into you with a hug. You’re still hugging her back when Maya’s voice comes from behind, “Come on, we have to get her someplace safe.”

You and Fox pull apart, turning to look at Maya, who is standing in the doorway and trying to avoid looking at the two dead bodies on the floor. You turn and look at Bellamy and he nods his agreement, and you follow Maya out of the room with Fox still clinging to your side. Bellamy closes the door behind him and jogs to catch up, walking beside you and whispering, “What about the other two guards?”

Fox whimpers quietly beside you, and you shake your head. “Leaving them out there and alive means risking our secrecy. I think they suspect someone is helping our friends, but I don’t think they know it’s us.”

“Then we have to kill them. We can’t risk that.”

You nod your head, and call out to Maya. “Wait up!”

She turns and walks back to you, and you guide Fox over to her. “Wait by the elevators for us, we have to take care of something.”

Maya shakes her head, and Fox starts to protest. “Don’t leave me, please don’t leave me!”

You smile at Fox, and step closer to her. “We’re coming right back, I promise. You can trust Maya.”

Maya’s voice drops to an insistent whisper, “There’s not enough time.”

“Maya, we have to. We can’t risk exposing ourselves.”

“Hurry.”

You and Bellamy nod and run off in the opposite direction, taking the next turn and stumbling upon the two bodies, still knocked out. You and Bellamy drag them to the locked room as quickly as you can, and once onside, you look down at them, both of you hesitant to kill two unconscious men. But then Bellamy pulls out his gun, and aims it at the man at his feet, and you follow suit. He whispers, “To save our friends.”

You nod and you both fire, one after the next, and the sounds of death echo around the room. You ignore them as you both lean down and check for a pulse, and when you confirm that both are dead, you holster your weapons and leave the room, closing the door behind you for hopefully the last time. You and Bellamy run down the hall until you reach the elevator, where Fox and Maya stand waiting. 

Fox immediately comes to stand at your side again as Maya summons the elevator and ushers you inside. You all keep your heads down and away from the cameras, waiting as the elevator drops to the sixth floor. You all follow your guide from the elevator and down the hall, until she comes to a stop in front of one of the residence doors and uses her keycard to get inside. She motions for you to follow her, and you do, stepping inside a small individual apartment. 

She walks around the corner and you see her jump in surprise. “Dad, you're home.”

“Yeah yeah, the drill bit broke again.” You walk around the corner and into view, moving away from Maya and the man on the couch, who eyes the three of you suspiciously. Bellamy stands in front of you and Fox, protective, as the man asks, “What are they doing here?”

“They're in trouble. They just need some place safe to stay.”

“They need to go now.” He glances back at you and adds, “Maya, you know how dangerous this is, what are you doing?

“What mom would have done.”

He ignores her and his eyes shift to Bellamy. “I need you to leave.”

You feel Bellamy tense in front of you, and you wrap an arm around Fox, ready to protect her. “Sorry, we can't do that.”

Maya turns and looks at Bellamy and then back at her dad. “It's okay, he's gonna help us.”

You quip, “Really? Because I'm not getting that.”

“My parents were part of a movement that was against using Outsider blood. My mom refused the treatments, and it killed her. She was willing to die for what she believed.”

“Maya, they're willing to kill you to get them. If you get caught-”

She cuts him off, “We won't, if you help us.”

Fox whimpers, “Please, they're killing us. We don't have anywhere else to go.”

He looks between your trio and his daughter before letting out a sigh. “Just this once, just for one night.”

“Here, just this way.” Maya reaches out for Fox, and she turns to look at you. You nod, letting her know it’s okay, and she steps away and allows Maya to lead her past the kitchen and into a room. You turn and nod your thanks at the man as Bellamy moves to follow Maya, but her dad stops you. “You know they'll never stop, right? If the rumors are true and your bone marrow can get us back to the ground, they'll never stop.”

You see a muscle in Bellamy’s jaw twitch, and then he nods and turns away, grabbing your hand and leading you into the room that Maya and Fox just disappeared into. You both walk into a small bedroom, clearly Maya’s, decorated in that strange mix of childhood and adult memories. Fox is sitting on the bed and Maya is helping her get the blood off her face. They both turn when you step inside, and Maya asks, “Ready?”

You and Bellamy nod, and Maya steps away from Fox, now blood free, who stands. “Wait, where are you going?”

“To help the others.”

“I want to go with you.”

You shake your head, “We need you to stay here. They don’t know that you’re alive, and it’s better to keep it that way.”

She says nothing else, just nods and lowers back onto the bed. Bellamy adds, “You’ll be safe here. We’ll come check on you when we can.”

She nods again, and you both give her a soft smile before turning and leaving the room, Maya right behind you. You wait as she talks to her father for a minute, and then she pulls him into a hug before stepping away. She leads you down the hall, towards the access door on this floor, talking to you both as she goes. “Lovejoy's keycard will get you into the armory. The guns are locked, but the guard has the key. I can lure him away-”

Bellamy cuts her off, “No, you said it yourself, there's no time. Once we get the guns, how do we get them to level 5? They're watching every door.”

“Maybe not.” She pauses and looks between you, “The mess hall has a trash chute.”

“A trash chute?”

“There's one on every level. Best part, there's no radiation alarms. The hatches leak like crazy, so they put in these airlocks just to be safe. You two get the guns, I'll get them into the mess hall.”

You smile at her, impressed. “You're a natural born revolutionary.”

“My mom was a revolutionary, I'm just trying to do what's right.”

Bellamy looks down the hall, and then back at her. “Be back here in 30 minutes.”

She nods and you both turn and jog away, down the hall and around the corner to the access door. Once inside, you climb quickly, heading towards the 3rd floor to the armory. You fight against the burn in your muscles, now climbing an emergency ladder for what feels like the 100th time in the last two days, and you let out an audible sigh of relief when you see the giant number 3 painted on the wall, indicating that you’ve made it. Bellamy helps you out and into the hall, and you’ve just started walking down it towards the armory when the walkie talkie at Bellamy’s side crackles to life. “This is President Wallace talking to the people who just killed ten of my men. I thought we’d try something a little different this time. There’s only 20 minutes of oxygen in Maya’s suit; I know she’s a friend of yours.” 

At the mention of her name, Bellamy turns up the radio, both of you listening intently. “In 20 minutes, your friend will either suffocate or burn.” 

You both exchange a look, before turning around and running back to the access door, a mutual agreement reached without needing to voice it. You ignore the rest of Cage’s message as you climb back onto the emergency ladder and descend the ladder, now easily ignoring the burn in your limbs as adrenaline pushes through your veins. When you reach the fifth floor, you and Bellamy quickly climb out and into the mountain, and start jogging down the hall, trying to find the garbage chutes. You check every door off the main hallway with no success, and Bellamy lets out a frustrated yell when he tugs on the last one and it reveals nothing more than cleaning supplies. You shake your head and mutter, “It’s been almost fifteen minutes, where could it be?”

You close your eyes and picture Clarke’s map in your head before getting an idea and yelling, “Come on!”

You turn and take off running down the hall, back towards the mess hall and the kitchens. You burst through the kitchen doors and weave through it until you reach the back, smiling when you see a door. You tug it open, revealing a dark hallway and run down it until you see a giant dumpster at the end of a long chute. You almost cry with relief and Bellamy squeezes your hand as he jogs past. “Genius!”

You can hear pounding and yelling from the top of the chute, and Bellamy turns to you, “I don’t think they can get it open!”

“She’s almost out of time, Bellamy!”

Your words fuel him and he climbs into the dumpster, using it as a ladder to crawl into the chute. He keeps his limbs sprawled out to keep himself from sliding back down, and when he reaches the top, he rams into the door until it bursts open. A second later, three people slide down the chute and fly into the dumpster. You run to the edge as Jasper stands and yanks the suit off of Maya’s head, and she takes in a deep breath of air. Bellamy climbs out of the dumpster and you watch as Maya and Jasper hug, letting out laughs of relief. 

They pull apart and jump out as the door behind you swings open, and you and Bellamy both reach for your guns, expecting guards. Instead, you are met with Maya's father, who is staring at his daughter with adoration. “Dad. What are you doing here?”

“What your mother would have done.”

He pulls her into a hug, and at the same time a body collides with you and Bellamy, wrapping their arms around you. You and Bellamy laugh as Jasper greets you, and when he pulls away he’s smiling too. Bellamy informs him, “Listen to me, Clarke is coming with an army of Grounders.”

He looks between the two of you in shock. “What?”

“We have to keep all of you safe until then.”

Jasper smiles, “Don't tell me Finn finally got his peace talks.”

You and Bellamy exchange a look, the pit in your stomach growing as you both decide what to do. Bellamy decides first, not wanting to break the moment just yet, and gives Jasper a smile that doesn't quite reach his eyes. “Something like that. Come on, we got a lot of work to do.”

Bellamy steps away from Jasper and walks over to Maya and her father, and you follow. He nods in greeting before looking between you both. “Get the others out and meet us on level 6. Don’t worry about the cameras, we’ll take care of them.”

“Will do.”

Maya and her father turn and leave, and you look at Bellamy. “Back up the trash chute you go.”

He smiles and climbs up again, and this time you climb up after him. Once he gets the door pushed open, you are both pulled out of the chute and into the room, and hugged in greeting by Monty, Harper, and Miller. You hear the others get close, whispering yours and Bellamy’s name, and you talk loud enough for them to hear you. “Grab your weapons and get ready to go. We’re going to take the trash chute out of here and then head to level 6!”

You turn to Bellamy, “I’ll stay up here and make sure everyone makes it down, if you wait at the bottom.”

“Come find me when we’re ready.”

You nod and he slides down the trash chute, followed by Monty, Harper, and Miller. The others follow, one by one, waving and hugging you in greeting as they walk by. They’re in various states of injury, some bruised, some bloodied, some limping, but all alive, for now. When the last delinquent slides down, you step into the room, checking it over and making sure it’s empty. You step around the blood stains on the floor, and glance at the art on the walls, also splattered with blood. You shudder, thinking of what they’ve endured, suddenly feeling less guilty for the guards you and Bellamy killed earlier. 

When you’re sure the hall is empty, you slide down the chute and meet up with Bellamy, and together you lead them to the access ladder. Bellamy stays behind this time and you lead the way, helping everyone out of the access door one by one until Bellamy pops out. You both unholster your weapons and start to sneak down the hall, following the map in your head towards the residential areas. When you reach the last hall before your destination, Bellamy sneaks around the corner first making sure it’s clear, before waving everyone to follow. 

You openly walk down the hall now, more relaxed as you near safety, and Miller asks, “Won't they see us?”

“Relax, Maya took out the cameras.”

He quips back, “Yeah, well, we're still sitting ducks in a group like this.”

“You're right. That's why we're gonna split up.”

You stop at the end of the hall, and Monty shakes his head, disagreeing with Bellamy. “No. We do this together. We survive together.”

“They don't trust Maya anymore. Who the hell is gonna help us now?”

You and Bellamy exchange a knowing look and you smirk, before stepping around the last corner, leading the others to a small group of Mount Weather citizens. “They are.”

Maya stands at the front with a smile. “We're gonna hide you. Not everyone here agrees with Cage, not by a long shot.”

“Come with me. We'll divide you along the way.”

The delinquents start to file past you, heading towards the group and their new hiding spots. “Let's go, you're safe now.”

You smile as you watch them go, relieved that they’re okay and going to be hidden from Cage and his quest for bone marrow. Jasper and Monty linger behind the others, looking between the two of you. “Hey, we're coming with you.”

You shake your head. “No you're not. They still don't know we’re here and we need to keep it that way.”

Monty asks, “So what do we do?”

Bellamy turns to him, expression serious. “Stay alive, be ready to fight. War is coming.”

You pass Monty your gun. “In case you need it.”

“Thanks.”

You all exchange one last look before you and Bellamy turn away, jogging off around the corner and down the hall, back to the emergency ladder and onto your next mission.

-

next chapter

#bellamy blake x reader #bellamy blake #bellamy blake fanfiction #bellamy blake x you #bellamy blake x y/n #the 100 #the 100 fanfiction

[forevers-winter]

full folklore analysis!!

as promised, here u go. warning very long.

first of all, the album’s name is super important to its meaning. “folklore” is stories passed by mouth, whether spoken or sung, so taylor’s not singing about herself in most of these songs and some of them are linked into a bigger story. i’ll start with individual analysis of each song and then get into the main storyline.

the 1: from the perspective of a girl (our protagonist) that’s been cheated on, hence the line “if it would’ve been me.” she’s looking back on a relationship that was very summer-love-esque and fun while also acknowledging that it wasn’t meant to be and detailing the bittersweetness of that understanding. one of my faves; linked to august, illicit affairs, and betty.

cardigan: from taylor’s perspective about joe and how she met him at a time where most everyone saw her as a snake or a backstabber and was neck-deep in the worst drama she’s ever been in. as she says in miss americana, “falling in love with someone who had a wonderfully normal, balanced life” was the best thing that could’ve happened to her at that time, hence her relationship with joe made her “feel new again” after so many that were always in the public eye. a lot of people think the cobblestones line is related to betty and/or the 1, but this song as a whole doesn’t fit with the heartbroken themes of those two. more likely it’s hinting at the fact the taylor and joe spend a lot of time together in europe, where cobblestone sidewalks and roads are commonplace.

the last great american dynasty: as many have realized, this is the story of rebekah harkness, the former owner of taylor’s rhode island house who hosted a ballet studio there. that’s literally it, just the story of a badass who doesn’t give af about the opinions of people around her. also one of my faves.

exile: dual perspective from both sides of a relationship that ended with the woman moving on and the man staying stuck in the past. “staring like he’s just your understudy,” “i gave so many signs,” etc. may be about one of taylor’s past relationships in relation to her and joe now but i doubt it. if i had to guess, probably calvin harris bc there were also engagement rumors and marriage plans swirling around with the two of them.

my tears ricochet: taylor’s perspective about the john mayer situation, ie “didn’t have it in myself to go with grace,” “if i’m dead to you,” “battleships,” etc. taylor notoriously wrote an almost-seven-minute song absolutely tearing him apart back on speak now (not going with grace), and their relationship was crazy violent and accusatory for the year or two following (battleships) and neither of them have talked about it since (dead to me+battleships sinking). i think this is her way of apologizing whether or not she had to (spoiler alert: she didn’t).

mirrorball: taylor’s perspective about the public’s opinion on her and joe “i know they said the end is near” but also telling them that their relationship is still going strong “i’m still on my tallest tiptoes...shining just for you.”

seven: holy fuck this song. it’s obviously from taylor’s perspective about her childhood as it mentions pennsylvania, but i have no clue who it could be about and i think that’s the point. it’s about loving someone in your childhood (no pronouns but implied that it’s a girl due to braids and hiding the closet) and wanting to run away with them but realizing as you get older that it won’t happen and eventually forgetting each other’s faces but still remembering how they made you feel. def one of my faves on the album bc it’s g a y a f.

august: also very young-summer-lovey, perspective of a high school girl who lost her virginity to someone older (same person who cheated on her in the 1) hence “never have i ever before,” “you back at school,” etc. but ended up being abandoned and manipulated into thinking they still cared “cancel plans just in case you’d call.” linked to illicit affairs and betty, more on that later.

this is me trying: taylor’s perspective detailing the struggle of growing up in the public eye as a superstar. “had the shiniest wheels now they’re rusting”=going from the golden girl of country music to a politicized controversy-ridden indie/alternative artist. again linked to miss americana: she wanted to stand up for what she believes in and is defending her missteps by stating that she’s trying her best. another of my faves.

illicit affairs: protagonist again. goes into detail about an apparent affair with her partner, now confirmed to be a “him” in the line about perfume.

invisible string: about taylor and joe, super cute, soulmate au type beat. next.

mad woman: taylor roasting sc**ter br*un within an inch of his life as she should. next.

epiphany: hooo boy this one is DEEP. not taylor’s perspective, but about the general trauma anyone experiences from watching someone die or being with them as they die; “some things you just can’t speak about.” extremely relevant during the pandemic, “hold your hand through plastic now” and the recurring line about watching someone breathe. the epiphany in question is the hope for a miracle cure to save the person as they’re dying. favorite crying song on the album.

betty: here we goooooo. perspective of the protagonist’s partner james and his* apologizing to betty for cheating “it was just a summer thing.” the scene of walking on cobblestones and being picked up in a car is the opposite perspective of the same scene in august, and “her” is the narrator of the 1, august, and illicit affairs. the way my interpretation differs from others is that betty isn’t the protagonist in the storyline. *also the fact that this song could very well be wlw if one assumes that illicit affairs is a standalone story not related to the love triangle.

peace: this one...giving us very much kaylor if you ask me. sunshine babey. i can’t even fully analyze it because my dumb bisexual brain just becomes tv static. however, it implies that kaylor will never be an official thing but they’ll keep coming back to each other as friends, hence “never give you peace.” also completely unrelated but the line “clowns to the West” LMAOAKSDNWN ROAST THEM SIS.

hoax: our girl is back. not taylor, the same narrator from all those other songs. this is her final take on james leaving her for betty until the 1, years later.

okay, if you’re still here, buckle up bc here’s the full story in order. august: our girl and james are in love in the summer. everything is cute and good but looking back she sees the trouble on the horizon. illicit affairs: james gets with betty but is still fuckin around with our girl on the side. the line about lies and lies implies that he said betty was the side girl and she believed and cared about him enough to stay while he’s really falling in love with betty and she ignores all the signs that she’s actually the other woman. between this song and betty, betty finds out about our girl and breaks up with james. betty: james realizes he loves betty instead of our girl and is apologizing (and making excuses) on her porch. betty’s a dumb bitch so she forgives him and they get back together. hoax: our girl is in absolute despair over james, who she trusted and loved with all her heart only for him to run off with betty. the 1: despite being the first song on the album, it’s the conclusion to the love triangle’s story. our girl is years older and more mature, looking back on her summer with james and understanding that he couldn’t control his falling out of love with her but appreciating the time they had together. flashes of the sadness from hoax come back, but she always switches it back to the positive. in conclusion, chronological order of the story is: august, illicit affairs, betty, hoax, the 1. and scene.

here’s my potentially hot take and explanation why i don’t think this album is about karlie: doubting taylor and joe’s relationship in favor of shipping kaylor is biphobic, especially after seven on this album basically confirms taylor has had crushes on girls/is bi. it’s one thing to speculate about the past or hope for them to get together, but ignoring the times taylor has gone on record saying that she loves joe and the songs she’s written about him and the more recent evidence that the two are quarantining together is disrespectful to her current relationship. the notion that she’s secretly dating karlie while letting her fans and the press think she’s with joe is furthering the stereotype that bi people are more likely to cheat or lie in a relationship and therefore biphobic. thank you.

anyway lmk if you want me to analyze the non-storyline aspects of the album! (or if you hate me for making it less gay lmao)

#taylor swift #taylor swift analysis #folklore analysis #ts analysis #ts8 #folklore #the 1 #cardigan #the last great american dynasty #exile #bon iver #my tears ricochet #mirrorball #seven #august #this is me trying #illicit affairs #invisible string #mad woman #epiphany #betty #peace #hoax #kaylor #karlie kloss #joe alwyn #joe alywn #gaylor #gaylor swift #biseuxal

[firelord-frowny]

i answer questions on quora for funsies and there was a question (that got deleted before i could post my answer lmao) about “why do most atheists have such a childish view of what god is?” 

and then of course there were a bunch of snippy answers from people like “hur dur, bc god is dumb and fake and you are dumb also” 

and so i typed up a loooong as response while loopy on zzzquil and here it is, here’s my response:

I was hoping I’d get here and see some answers that didn’t drip with the cringy condescension that atheists unfortunately have a reputation for… I was disappointed.

I can promise you that “most atheists” don’t necessarily have a childish understanding of the concept of a God or religions in general. I think it just so happens that the more, uh… ~outspoken~ atheists tend to either have a simplistic understanding, or they simply don’t feel inclined to take the time to demonstrate that they do have a deeper understanding, because it’s just not important to them (which is fair!) Or they just like being rude and making flippant comments that they know are going to rustle the feathers of people who believe in a higher power.

I definitely used to be one of those atheists who loved to wax poetic - and usually with vaguely inflammatory and argumentative language - about how I “don’t care what people think a god is” and how I “don’t believe in things that aren’t really there” and “ahem, believing in sky fairies is what’s REALLY childish!”  

Then it dawned on me that I’ve only been exposed to an infinitesimally tiny fraction of  all the world’s religions, and all the different ways that people express their faith in their deities. I would hope that anyone who was actually committed to rationality would at least concede that it’s a bit irresponsible and disingenuous to claim absolute knowledge about - and pass judgment on - a wealth of subjects they have never even been exposed to.

Interestingly, I think the missing ingredient in these cases is compassion. The kinds of atheists you describe don’t see much value in even caring about the tremendous role that religion can play in many people’s lives. I think they tend to home in on the bad stuff, and unceremoniously dismiss everything else.

Though I’m most simply described as an atheist, the way that I personally understand the concept of “god” is that it can be an expression of people’s highest aspirations, or maybe a personification of a culture’s highest values. Maybe some people do truly believe that the thing they have faith in is an actual being that exists in some intangible realm, and who has will, and who is capable of manipulating and interacting with the “real world.” But through conversations with many of my believing friends, I’ve come to understand that to some people, “god” is more of an ideal than an actual being. Not literal, but a metaphor.

Anyway, to get back to your actual question - I’m of the opinion that most atheists understand and embrace the fact that they may never comprehend what “god” means to the people who believe in one. But they acknowledge that it’s nowhere near as simple as just “believing in things that aren’t really there,” and certainly do not automatically find it “humorous, sad, and irrelevant.” I think most atheists understand that the cultural, social, and personal concepts of “god” and the role “god” plays in the lives of believers is way too complicated to be boiled down in just a few snappy remarks. The atheists who have a more compassionate and open-minded understanding of what “god” might mean to theists aren’t going around being mean on the internet. They’re minding their own business.

I hope you feel enormously free to happily ignore the flippant, obnoxious quips from unkind atheists who are more concerned with feeling superior than with being at all intrigued by one of the many ways humankind has found to express its values and feel connections to one another.

Because I happen to know how these particular atheists think and behave, considering that I used to be one, I am sure that any who come across my answer here may feel inclined to try to get under my skin and perhaps condescend to me about logic and reason and blah blah blah, and I’d just like to say to those individuals: I welcome you to say whatever it is you need to say in order to feel secure and grounded in your point of view. I promise there’s nothing you can tell me that I haven’t told anyone else. I’m not upset with you, and I won’t be hurt or offended by anything you decide to say. Sure, I’d like it if you agreed with me, but that’s not how the world works, and I’m okay with that, and I’m sure that most of y’all are decent folks with whom I’d agree on a lot of other things!

I’m also sure that some folks are going to think everything I’ve said is ridiculous and that I’ve typed so much and said absolutely nothing. That’s fine. And you’re probably right! If you look up “largiloquent” in the dictionary, there’s a picture of me.

I’ll also address this: It’s not lost on me that the phrasing of the question is a little instigative. “Why do most atheists have such a childish view…” I can see plainly that that’s meant to attract exactly the kind of atheist who’s prone to launching into unpleasant confrontations. It’s meant to attack the kind of atheist that the question-asker has no doubt felt victimized by. Though I find it a little disappointing, I do understand. Like I said - I used to be a jerk about my own atheism, and I’m very well acquainted with the loud minority of atheists who seek to make theists feel dumb, and it makes sense to me that someone would feel like taking a small form of revenge in this manner. So, to the question-asker, I’ll say: When you set someone up to get angry, you sabotage your own chances of getting through to someone who disagrees with you. Maybe they probably weren’t going to hear you out before, but they definitely aren’t going to hear you out now.

And to the atheists who jump at the chance to get quippy at this kind of obvious bait: If you really want to disarm someone who’s trying to upset you… be nice. I’m not kidding. When somebody clearly wants you to resort to petty insults, and then you give them those insults, you lose. Immediately. You just look mean. :/ But if someone is baiting you into an argument, and you respond with kindness and understanding, then they look like the jerk. Not you. And next time, maybe they’ll choose kindness, too, when they approach you.

I was going to conclude this by proudly stating that I’ve evolved past the point of feeling the need to try to make others feel less-than just because they have a point of view I think is, uh, ridiculous, but as I reread my words, I can see that that's not exactly true, as I’ve definitely included a few acerbic jabs here and there. I’m sorry about that. I don’t mean to sound like I’m looking down on anyone or what they do or don’t believe about belief. I suppose I just take it a bit personally when self-described atheists behave in ways I think are unnecessarily and intentionally rude, and then claim in some way that that’s Just How Atheists Are. It isn’t. I hope some of you will mull over the idea that meanness rarely ever contributes anything useful to the world. Lots of people will be willing to consider your point of view if you can present it in a manner that allows them to feel comfortable talking to you. Even if neither of you winds up changing your minds, you can still come away from the conversation with the gift of a wider perspective.

So what I’ll actually conclude with is this: I don’t care what people do or don’t believe. I care how they behave. And you can always learn way more about a person from their behavior than from what gods they say they do or don't have faith in, or how well they understand the concept of those gods.

[freddiefcknmercury]

Chapter 1: Here Comes the Sun(Part1)

Pairing/ Characters: Saanvi Nerys, K8-D3; OCs for The Mandalorian AU

Word count: 750+

Warnings/disclaimer: vague allusions to abuse/torture, mentions of weapons.

A/N: So I've been putting off writing my Mando OC AU stuff since the first season got announced but I've finally started brainstorming and I'm gonna give this a go. That being said I have no idea if/when this happens in our current Mando timeline so like don't even ask friend lmao. I might post a long character description/history if anybody starts to care about this series lol. Sorry chapter one is so short but I've been stressed and I promised I'd post something for Season 2 premier- more to come!

Summary: Saanvi, a blind Seer alien, and their companion K8-D3, a repurposed surveillance droid, have recently escaped captivity from Smuggler Toombs. They're on the run unknowing that someone has already been sent after them.

~*As always, be Nice to me I'm delicate*~

• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •

"Can you hear that?"

Whirrrrr

"Smell it?"

...beep

They chuckle.

"It's a milk stand."

Virrrrrom

"Don't worry K8..."

They gently tap the top of the droid reassuringly.

"You just have to cause a little ruckus this time. I'll fill up the canister and we dip out of here."

They click their tongue for emphasis.

"Remember, seven minutes."

Scooting the droid off into the street they quickly duck behind some discarded crates after she's safely across.

Escaping in a cargo vessel onto a planet you've never heard of, with the most conspicuous surveillance bot you could find, seems like a good idea until you just can't ignore the hunger anymore. But anything is better than being trapped on Toombs' ship another second. It's been a week on this planet which is seven days too many, but there's talk of a large trade carrier landing early tomorrow and They will be on board when it takes off. Hanging around in one place too long is still risky, especially with all the resources those smugglers have to find Them and drag Them back kicking and screaming...

He might finally make good on one of his threats.

They unconsciously rub a scar underneath one eye.

Whiiiiirrrrrr...

K8 inches slowly towards the back of the intended stand making sure to keep close to the roofing and dried meat hanging up top, just like Saanvi told them. They wait as the droid timidly hovers inside until they hear the shop keeper grunt towards the back.

"Damned womp rats!"

Goggles up, They wrap Their face just in case someone might recognise them from previous attempts around town. They don't notice anyone else on the street, aside from the shop keeper to the left but his breathing suggests he'll be asleep for a while longer. Carefully feeling Their way over the counter Saanvi gently opens the spout  filling Their canister with Bantha milk as quietly as possible. They stop to take a quick swallow, grateful for the nourishment and top it off again.

They tuck the canteen under their robes, out of sight from other thieving eyes and casually start down a corridor to their right, headed towards the edge of town. Like clockwork, seven minutes later K8 slowly descends next to them at the corner, the one directly behind the milk stand.

They tilt their head, nudging the droid gently.

"I think we might finally have this down."

BOOOooooop

"No really, we make a pretty good team... I might decide to keep you after all."

They chuckle.

BEEP

They slowly round several corners, subtly straightening their back when they notice the sound of faint foot steps in time with their own coming up behind them.

Lovely

They turn towards K8.

"Wanna ride?"

     Boop-beep

They've fashioned loops and a small compartment on the back of their harness that she could click into as a carry-on for convenience, or a quick escape. After negotiating with their robes they tie the loose outer layer into pants trying their best to maintain a quick, casual stroll. As soon as K8 is adjusted and attached securely They take one last large breath and begin to sprint down the next corridor, rounding as many corners as they could manage without alerting anyone. Villagers at the end of several stretches started making options slim. The footsteps were definitely following them. At the edge of town They chance it down a new side street they've not taken before. Dead end. There's a slow drop of water from one corner and all in all it's empty but they're out in the open. The footsteps haven't returned. They've either managed to lose them or they're screwed.

Virrrrrmm

The droid pulls slightly to their right and Saanvi feels the faintest breeze. There's a decent sized crevice in the wall, they could both fit individually. It's time consuming but they're out of options if whoever is following them a still around.

They go to move in that direction but before that plan could really be put in motion They feel the end of a blaster pressed decidedly against the nape of their neck.

"Warm... or Cold."

They hear an honestly indifferent voice say from behind Them.

boooooop...

K8 squeaks nervously.

"Mmm... the folks around here honestly don't seem to keep too many blasters on 'em..."

They turn slowly, smiling; facing whomever had the gaul to corner them,  fingers pressed firmly on one of the blades they keep at their thigh.

"So I'm guessing this isn't about the milk?"

#the mandalorian #the Mandalorian au #mando au #Mando OC #Star Wars AU #Saanvi #Saanvi Nerys

[trilies]

Someone tried to come up with a “sfwrarepair week” for a fandom i’m in because they had problems with the mods of the actual rarepair week shutting down wank and being open to all rarepairs

but their interest post was, like. terrible.

and i had to write a super long response to it because it frustrated me so much, with the op clearly not caring about actual csa survivors despite ~wanting to help them~

but then the post disappeared from the main tag and i couldn’t reblog the post even from the op’s original site and so this has just been hanging around in a plurk paste i’ve had open for weeks now, so i figured i should just fling it out there because i’m not wasting that work lmao

This post (and if I’m honest, the base idea) is actually harmful to actual CSA survivors and I’d like to call attention to this, especially since the OP isn’t giving the impression that they’re interested in the words of an actual CSA survivor.

I’m going to go in order of the post to give my criticism.

1. “being a safespace for minors, csa victims, incest survivors, people of color, LGBT individuals, etc.”

If this were just about making people feel safe, then there would be zero need to judge or insult people outside the group as occurs repeatedly throughout this post - the focus would be on the people IN the group.

For that matter, you wouldn't make an open call for a group like this anyway because the people in it would all have different comfort levels, so you can't just go "oh all this content will be safe for you" - you don't even know what their needs are yet. How can you guarantee that?

“Safe” ships, even those defined by the OP, can still be written in a way that is triggering or problematic.

Triggers aren't just in what the relationship is, they can be in the subject matter or the theme or what happens in the fic and it's like...okay, how much are you screening for? How are you protecting your members beyond just screening what ships are allowed?

A group actually meant to help abuse survivors, people with triggers, etc would not just have a flat set of rules set out before it's even got members, it would be organically constructed with consideration to the people in it and what their specific needs are.

That is only speaking of CSA and incest survivors as well... because that’s all this post suggests. It offers nothing in terms of how it would explicitly help queer fans, or fans of color. What it does offer for CSA survivors? (The only one I would say I am qualified to speak of in terms of experience.) Only vague platitudes that, from my perspective, only apply to the ideal of CSA survivors. Not actual CSA survivors, like those who do ship things you don’t approve of because it helps them recover.

Which actually leads us to

2. “this means there would not be ANY pedophilic [...] ships”

First of all, as a CSA survivor: stop using “pedophilia” as a description for fictional ships. This dilutes both the actual meaning and the seriousness of the word, which in turn harms actual victims as that word is robbed from them. Use an actual definition.

Because that’s the second issue with this statement, in that there is no actual definition given. That is a problem in the current fandom climate because, along with diluting the seriousness of the word, the meaning now varies wildly from person to person.

By “pedophilic”, do you mean a ship featuring someone 18 or up with someone beneath that age? What about characters where it’s unclear, such as Xanxus, who was frozen at age 16 and one could argue that he’s still that age? Or that he’s not because anime? What about with a gimmick that features time travel, such as the canon instance of Hana liking TYL Lambo and not recognizing or liking him as 5 year old Lambo? Where do the Arcobaleno fit in any of this?

By “pedophilic”, do you mean any ships featuring characters that are under the age of 18? Is it only pedophilic if it’s an 18+ adult shipping them? How are you going to check for that? What about the canon time travel used as both a gimmick and an arc?

Other types who allege they’re against “pedophilic ships” have said that it’s any ship with a height difference, any age difference at all even if the characters are still both adults, if a character’s boobs are too small, if a character isn’t smart. And, yes, those are all things I’ve actually seen!

Or will you oblige anyone who claims a particular ship is pedophilic?

This vagueness is a problem. Admittedly, the vagueness was not started by you, but it was started by people who claimed the same intentions as you, OP, and if you’re going to make a claim that you want to help CSA survivors, then you need to be far more clear than this.

3. [the same thing but re: incest]

Admittedly, I’ve seen this as less of a problem with misusing incest, but that doesn’t mean I haven’t seen it at all. You may want to clarify that you mean explicit blood relations (for example, Bianchi and Gokudera) or... Well, I can’t recall anyone explicitly adopted, but the idea is the same there. None of the “they referred to each other as brothers, ignoring how that’s often used in a way that has nothing to do with incest, but so that makes it totally incest”.

4. “ otherwise harmful ships”

This is the largest red flag out of everything, and we’re not even past the first rule in the original post. This has a similar problem to everything else about this list of not-allowed ship, only it’s much worse because it’s target is arguably everything.

What do you mean by “harmful”, OP?

Do we judge “harmful” because of the characters, or because of the ship?

How will you regulate this incredibly harmful descriptor so that it isn’t misappropriated by bullies and harassers to silence fans, whether as them as a person or what they ship? Because I can guarantee you that I could come up with any completely bullshitted reason to hate on every single character or ship combination from KHR, and others easily could as well for malicious reasons.

This is a frankly terrible rule and, considering the kind of rampant bullying that comes from people who like to claim they’re against ““pedophilic”“ ships against CSA victims, I do not trust it. I do not trust it at all.

5. “this blog would NOT be in “competition” or in any kind of rivalry with the original khr rarepair week blog”

Now this is either an outright lie, or someone who has not considered their own words, and I could not tell you which is worse when it comes to a declaration of a “safe space” for minorities or people with trauma like CSA and incest survivors.

The entire original post ABSOLUTELY positions itself as competition to the actual khr rarepair week, not an alternative. Not only does it position itself as “competition”, but it tries to sell itself to people as the “better choice”.

It’s an attempt at a bit of sleight of hand. The post tries to show itself as friendly, just here to help people... But, as I stated before, if it really had an interest in helping people, it would focus on those people.

Instead, numerous times, you see the OP making judgment calls and negative comments to others - mainly implications of people participating in the actual khr rarepair week. There’s a series of connections throughout the entire post:

We start with “pedophilic ships” being banned to “help” CSA survivors in the first rule, and then leap from that to, in the second rule, “people who don’t feel comfortable in an event run by people who support pedo ships”.

(Reminder: still no idea on what ““pedo”“ ships even are by OP’s definition.)

So we’ve already started by associating the people participating in the regular khr rarepair week as the problem, instead of people simply not being comfortable with just the ships themselves - fictional things that are easily avoided.

Then, at the very end, the OP makes the explicit connection between ““pedo”“ ships and “freaks”.

So is the connection clear yet? The way they steadily escalate things until the implication at the very end? How that all does its best to frame KHR Rarepair Week as a negative? As something that Good People (tm) would never do unless they “must”? The implication that their “SFW” rarepair week is better?

So for the OP to claim they’re not trying to start anything, while their entire post ramps up the connection between khr rarepair week and Terrible Things (tm), is a... dubious claim at best.

The rest of the post isn’t that big a deal. It serves perfectly fine as a base interest check for half of it. However, the other half? That other half set off warning flags so intensely for me as a CSA survivor that I couldn’t stay quiet. I’m not saying this to be a “troll”, or to start trouble for no reason.

Additionally, that good half is tarnished by the problems of the bad half. If these are the red flags I feel they are, then that means if there are people in the group who harass others - I can already spot what-the-fuck-khr in there, a notable harasser who has called a CSA survivor a slur - then it weakens the promise to make this a truly safe space.

It’s simply that I’ve seen a lot of people claim they care about CSA survivors, a lot of fans who try to prop people like me up to signal their own virtue, only for them to turn around and lash out at CSA survivors like myself when we do not exist as only a prop, when we step a toe out of line.

If that happens again, then I don’t want anyone to be caught in that, especially some of the wonderful people I’m familiar with in the tags, such as [blank] or [blank]. I see a lot of red flags in there that I’ve seen harm other people when left unchecked.

If people want to give this a shot as run by the OP, that’s their right, and I wouldn’t take that away from them. I believe it is important to help and look after CSA survivors, especially us for one another. However, I feel like these criticisms are something anyone going for this should keep in mind, especially if they’re not CSA survivors.

Maybe I’m wrong about all of this. I will freely admit that the original post set me off something awful. Maybe some of my concerns are merely because this is an interest check post, and there wasn’t time for the OP to go indepth on just what they think “pedophilic” ships actually are, etc.

If that’s the case, then I’ll gladly have a discussion with the OP, if they truly care about CSA survivors and what is harmful to them. I’ll recant if I can be reassured this is all in good faith, and even support this endeavor.

However, as a CSA survivor, this post as it is worries and frustrates me.

#james shenanigans #here comes the ruckus

[normal-thoughts-official]

please hate rant about how much lorenzo sucks to me i also hate him and wish more people talked about it

MY TIME HAS COME

no, but really, like............... he’s so awful? like ever since he’s first introduced, he does nothing but abuse his power in order to antagonize magnus and it’s so unnecessary and ugly and like. magnus says he doesn’t like him when he’s first introduced (tho i think part of it is just the salt of losing his job talking, which, i mean, fair) but still he’s not even, like, unpleasant to him (really it’s more alec who’s bitching and making faces, and honestly icon) and then lorenzo is just the fucking ugliest from the start. 

and EVERYTHING he does is literally horrible like it’s not just some general petty rivals thing, he legit tries to kill him. i cannot fucking stress enough that that’s literally what happened. only lorenzo could undo the magic transfusion, and if he didn’t, magnus would die, and lorenzo decided not to do it knowing full well of that. he left magnus to die. he was gonna let magnus die. on purpose. he was gonna kill magnus. i don’t think people treat that as the horrible thing that it is, honestly. i see some people talking about them like they’re fun rivals or something like that, or like there’s just some dumb beef, but no, it’s literally like. he tried to FUCKING KILL HIM, and i don’t give a shit if he ended up taking back the magic at the end, because he only did it because Alec not only begged, but specifically told him that Magnus was no threat to Lorenzo. the only reason he did it was because he knew that he would still be at the top at the end. I wouldn’t even be surprised if his thought process was “oh, it’s gonna be even more torture for him to keep living as a mundane knowing he has no other choice”. and then the way he takes magnus’ magic away is so forceful like... i’ve talked briefly about how violent asmodeus was when giving magnus his magic back before, and when lorenzo takes his transfusion back, it’s the same. literally if alec weren’t there to catch him he would have let magnus drop to the ground (might i remind you that he had almost died and was basically like coming out of surgery) and he didn’t even look at him. he did it super fast and violent and forceful on purpose just to make it extra hurtful and draining on his already fragile body. and i don’t mean fragile like “he was weakened” i mean like HE WAS STILL AT THE RISK OF DYING. and lorenzo deliberately hurt his body even more when it would be the easiest thing in the world not to. and then he finishes by being like “i’m keeping your home though”. like it’s so unnecessarily cruel.

and even if i ignore the fact that lorenzo is a literal murderer who tried to murder magnus for zero (0) reason, just. everything else. from the start. off the top of my head, i remember Lorenzo: accusing Magnus of sabotaging his party and basically wanting to arrest him without a single ounce of proof; abusing his power to keep Magnus from getting help with the whole owl thing; abusing his power again to keep him from getting medical help (a magic transfusion) from anyone; rubbing it in that Magnus had just lost his magic, which is basically equivalent of rubbing it in that someone lost a limb, like, he’s also a warlock, he knows that magnus is mourning and he still goes out of his way to humiliate him (if you don’t remember, i’m talking about when magnus goes for him to ask for a magic transfusion and he’s floating and all like “oh, i didn’t see you there” and refuses to come down. it’s like magnus had lost his legs and lorenzo was jogging and he just kept running so magnus couldn’t talk to him like. it’s so disgusting); naming a completely unfair price for the transfusion because he made magnus desperate enough to accept anything, which was clearly the plan all along, just so he could humiliate him further by making him homeless as well as miserable, and not even giving him a single day to move out, like, he really wanted magnus to just rot; yeah i think that’s it.

literally like none of these things is anything short of absolutely horrifying, incomprehensibly cruel, and borderline psychopathic. and he doesn’t even have a reason for hating magnus this much. it’s just like, oh, he’s asmodeus’ son, he’s more powerful than me! CRY ME A FUCKING RIVER, YOU PIECE OF SHIT. and let me just tell me i thought i was gonna die with laughter when he said that magnus was born with a silver spoon in his mouth, like doiuahdsiajnsada. dudebro was born a rich european at the height of Spain’s glory, got the HWoB position at a very young age for a warlock after making zero (0) efforts to actually help anyone, lives in a mansion. magnus has been abused at least twice (asmodeus and camille), has been homeless and almost died when he was just a kid, literally built himself from the ground up, invented portals and a shitton of other spells, making his reputation, has dedicated basically his entire life and more than what is healthy to the downworlder community as a whole, was literally tortured not a month ago. like shut the fuck up??? literally lorenzo is clearly so much more spoiled than magnus ever was (which explains his willingness to go this far to fuck him over, like......... imagine the amount of privilege you need to have to think taking away someone’s house is okay just because you’re jealous that they’re better at magic than you) and magnus’ reputation is way less the fact that he’s powerful and way more the fact that he’s 1- a genius, and 2- a great leader. but go off i fucking guess

but then we’re supposed to think he’s been “redemeed” because, what, Magnus didn’t go out of his way to unturn him into a lizard when asmodeus got him his house back? (honestly just the fact that he set up a nice environment for him is already so much more than he deserved, like..... id have thrown him in the sewer lmao magnus got him a whole cage with good lightning and temperature control and leaves and shit) because he agreed to go to edom literally ONLY because he was promised glory, clearly his #1 drive in life considering he’s done all of this to magnus purely because he’s mad magnus gets more recognition than him? for being like “yo alec don’t freak out and kill us all maybe” when alec was about to hurricane his ass into the depths of edom? like it’s so funny that magnus is all like “alec told me how you helped him in there...” bitch all he did was say “bitch calm down” like he didn’t even say anything besides “calm down” and “i know you can calm down” which is......... a surprisingly small amount of effort considering that if alec didn’t calm down he’d probably obliterate all their asses magically. like lorenzo probably wouldn’t die but still. also it’s his own magic, so you know. anyway, he did the literal bare minimum and didn’t even bother to be particularly supportive or anything, and suddenly he’s a hero? and he even had the fucking audacity to be like “i’m simply doing what any high warlock would do” when magnus saw him like doaiushdiuajdsamdksamda bitch first of all you weren’t gonna come. second of all it’s a little late to be all like “i care about my position and the responsibility i carry over other warlocks” AFTER you have already abused your position to deliberately antagonize someone more times than you have, like, gone to meetings. literally LORENZO FORBIDDING OTHER WARLOCKS FROM HELPING MAGNUS IS ABUSE OF POWER. it’s clearly personal, it’s fucked up, and it’s downright dictatorial behavior. it’s fucking abhorrent, and i’m gonna say it again, it’s completely crazy that the warlocks were juts like “k” with that. magnus had been HWoB for centuries and he’s never done anything of the sort and he dedicated himself fully to his people, willing even to sacrifice his relationship with alec for them, and has gone out of his way to help people individually his entire life, and then suddenly some other guy takes his position and immediately starts abusing it to antagonize the very person that had been on their side for centuries, and they’re all just fine with that??? like it’s already bullshit that magnus lost his position to begin with, because yeah the seelie queen was uh bad but honestly given the circumstances of even the most progressive side of the clave refusing to actually work with them instead of trying to control them (cuz that’s what alec did when he refused to tell him about the sword like. magnus explicitly said that the reason he broke up with him was because he felt like it was betwenen alec and his people after that and he was choosing his people, and honestly? he was right) and the world being at war with a very high possibility of a mass genocide and the seelie queen being their most powerful ally, he made the right call. but okay, i’ll believe that people were unhappy with that decision and he lost his position, whatever. but i cannot in any way believe that everyone was just watching lorenzo do that shit and didn’t care. anyway, in conclusion, sh writers: YOU DIDN’T REDEEM SHIT, lorenzo didn’t get a redemption arc, he shouldn’t have been at the malec wedding and i don’t give a shit if he flirted with underhill.

in short:

fuck lorenzo

yeah that sums up my feelings quite nicely

#ask #anonymous #sh #shadowhunters #magnus bane #lorenzo rey #anti lorenzo rey #honestly u can just go to the lorenzo tag on my blog and enjoy thousands of shitting-on-lorenzo posts #ugh