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astrologicalsstuff · 1 year

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Some more

Astrology observations

Scorpio risings causing drama without even meaning to

Capricorns are the hottest placement sun and rising

Everyone says it’s probably Leo or libra or Taurus but Capricorns have this I’m hot and it doesn’t matter energy. Like those placements know they’re hot. They got the bone structure and legs

Everyone thinks it’s Scorpio but I would NOT WANT TO MAKE AN AQUARIUS ANGRY. These people can be calculated and smart. They don’t feel in the same way other people do typically so they can really whip out some unwarranted shit.

Aries moons going 0 to 100 in half a second.

Virgo aries combos especially Virgo sun aries moon or Virgo rising aries… acting first thinking later and regretting everything:((( these can be some very… stimulated people.

Cancer Leo Taurus in the big three loyal and selfless with a dash of manipulation

Leo Venus will like you and still make you chase for a year you’d better be ready to chase!

Venus in the second know their self worth.

Mercury in Pisces/Sagittarius or in the 9th or 12th house how’s that ADD/ADHD??

Cancer stellium/ Virgo stellium with those stomach problems.

Where your 6th house ruler sits is how your health shows up. 6th house ruler in the third might need glasses or have hand problems. 6th ruler in the 12th might have mental health problems. 6th ruler in the 5th watch your heart.

Aquarius moons are so chill if your not tryna have a relationship with them and humble too. Like they won’t start shit.

Neptune in fire houses (1 5 & 9) have the reputation of being mysterious but isn’t as mysterious as everyone thinks, they don’t really know themselves either lol.

Further, neptune in the first just doesn’t see themselves the way you see them

Neptune in the 5th probably have identity issues, people like them better on drugs. Struggle to see themselves the way others see them causing misinterpretations

Neptune in the 9th people don’t see the spirits on your side lol. Maybe people don’t see that you can see through them

Saturns not all bad, in houses where you must acquire (earth houses 2 6 10)

Moon in the ascendant will have children especially with planets in the 5th.

Capricorn or Saturn in the 5th may have a hard time conceiving or having children

Uranus in the 5th… just make sure you wrap it cause get ready for those unexpected pregnancies. Also what’s up with those one night stands??

Neptune in the 11th most likely means friends at a distance or friendships where you do a lot of drugs and alcohol. Friends Can be artists as well. Best case I think these people are celebrities and connect with masses online.

Mars in Leo are HORNY and loud about it

Pluto in the third can cut people with their words

Moon in the 10th makes people comfortable around you yet a distance between you and other people?

Neptune in the 10th where’s your dad lol?

12th house ruler in the 10th everyone talks about you behind your back so much gossip

Virgo men lowk like it when you call them out🫢🫢

Pisces moons can’t stop lying huh? Like you don’t even know why your doing it

Virgo rising s are so hot. Like subtle beauty look good without makeup.

Virgo sun women’s personality is basically just whatever copies and compliments their best friend…

Fire sign moons are soo DRAMATIC

Moon in first = heart in sleeve

Thanks for reading let me know what you think please don’t copy my information!

#astrology #astro observations #astro placements #synastry #astro chart #astroblr #venus #8th house #5th house #placidus #saturn #cancer #capricorn

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lycheedr3ams · 4 months

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König Character Analysis (Part 1)

*image reposted with permission

Part 1: His Past

the first installment of a multi-part character analysis for our beloved König

to convince you guys i know what I'm talking about, just look through my blog at my könig posts. I am confident that I have grasped most parts of his personality and backstory, but I will acknowledge that some of it may be projecting. obviously we do not know much about him, which is the point of this series. i also relate a lot to him

discussion of my interpretation is welcome in the comments, and if you disagree, there's no need to be hateful. he is, at the end of the day, not real

TW: bullying, social anxiety, other mental health disorders

We have very little information on könig's life before the military. his bio includes one sentence, just one, about his past:

König suffered from severe social anxiety throughout his life, often being bullied during his childhood.

while this information alone isn't striking, when put into more context of other parts of his bio, it says:

While he hoped to join as a recon sniper, his physical size and his inability to stay still made him an unsuitable candidate.

focus on those words: his inability to stay still. this crucial bit of information, tied to the fact that he was often bullied, leads me to conclude that könig has ADHD. not being able to sit still is not a stereotype, it is a real fact of life for those with ADHD, me included. people with ADHD are bullied much more than neurotypicals (people without ADHD, autism, etc). while each source is different, it is estimated that children with ADHD are 4-10x more likely to be bullied.

it is no wonder why bullying would cause social anxiety, since most of könig's interactions with his peers were negative. as someone with social anxiety, it is horrible. not knowing what to say or how to act, you end up either completely misreading the social context or not saying anything. either way, you can never win.

additionally, children with ADHD receive up to 20,000 more negative messages from parents and peers in their childhood than neurotypical children. because of this, it is common for people with ADHD to also be extra sensitive to rejection, and it can be so strong in some that a new term has been coined called "rejection sensitive dysphoria." research on this issue has revealed that 99% of people with ADHD also have and experience rejection sensitive dysphoria. therefore, it makes sense to conclude that König also experiences rejection sensitive dysphoria (rsd)

an aside on rsd: this isn't just feeling hurt when you're rejected by a crush or feeling sheepish or embarrassed you're scolded at work or school. rsd episodes make you question your entire life, your personality, your worth, and for many can even lead to suicidal thoughts just from a small incident of rejection. it can also lead to the person having low self-esteem, and they are also more likely to perceive rejection even when it is not there. it is an intense and overwhelming experience that no one should have to go through, yet people with ADHD experience it often

so, we've established, based on the evidence i've provided, that König has ADHD, social anxiety, and experiences rsd. i would say that i can't even imagine what König's childhood was like, but sadly I can since i too have adhd and was bullied. being mean is never okay, and bullying is not cute or quirky or sassy. bullying is when someone kicks your books across the floor, steals and destroys your belongings, when they spread false rumors, make fun of you, laugh at you, when they give you mean faces when you ask questions in class, when your only friend is the other "weird" kid who also has ADHD. it's when your teachers constantly criticize you and you get in trouble for every little thing. it's when you just wanted a friend and everyone else knew how to socialize, but somehow, you didn't. being bullied while also having ADHD is an experience i wish on no one. yet könig went through this. just sit with that for a minute. the big scary military man we love was also a child once, and went through this.

sorry to depress you guys, but this is the reality of his character. i firmly believe that könig has ADHD and experiences rsd despite his untouchable and stoic demeanor, and you're not gonna change my mind.

so, that's the end of the first installment. keep your eyes out for more, cuz trust me, there's gonna be more. (also don't forget to sign up for my taglist if you want! link is on my masterpost)

taglist: @osteawb, @sleepystaarr, @vvampir3s, @simpxinnie, @majocookie, @sharkyyyyyyyyyyyy, @marysdelrey, @kybeth5, @chaos-on-stand-bi, @shannonswizzies, @arcadia509, @bloodstoneruby, @cumikering, @skystreamchan, @junkratssheila-09, @kit-williams, @tangerynsbaby, @dreamdiaries777, @royalbxstxrd, @non-satanic-panic, @theweirdchick, @kiyomisan, @maylif, @mortimoshi, @eneiss

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melatonin-melanin · 5 months

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menhera as a movement and how it can connect to race

most members of the menhera subculture tend to have one goal in mind, and it's to be able to improve their mental health one way or another. for those unaware, menhera is a mental health movement originating in japan, where the term was originally defined as "someone who seeks mental well being." you can learn more about it here.

a large aspect of the menhera subculture is creating art in order to vent your struggles. this art is expressed most commonly through mediums such as fashion, painting, and music. any topics are acceptable to create vent art from, and often there will be motifs related to the author's trauma. however, over time, menhera has been watered down to containing mainly medical motifs in creations, as opposed to the original intention of being an outlet for a vast majority of issues that people may struggle with. of course, this doesn't mean that people no longer use it to vent; there are still many active members of the community, at least overseas.

you might be thinking, "that's nice to learn about, but what does this have to do with race? isn't this about mental health?"

well, your race can directly impact your mental health in multiple ways. when it comes to race, it's important to keep in mind that it's not just the color of your skin. race, as it is defined in society, is also your hair texture, facial structure, culture, and traditions. race is ultimately a social category, as it is fluctuating throughout history and is solely determined by people in power. think about it: for those growing up in the U.S., did you ever have to fill out forms for mandated tests? do you recall that, as time went on, more and more racial categories were added as options to check off when asked for your race?

with all of these factors taken into account, it's no wonder that race can affect mental health. whether it's from racial discrimination in multiple communities and institutions, cultural-specific struggles, or trying to find one's own place inside and outside of race-based communities, any and all of these issues can be mentally draining and have someone questioning their self-worth. added to all of this, it can be more difficult for someone to receive help for these troubles when they're not surrounded with people who understand. not every person of color is going to understand what a person with a mental illness goes through, and not every person with a mental illness is going to understand what a person of color goes through, either. depending on the people around them, a person of color struggling with mental illness may feel much more hesitant about reaching out to others because of this.

menhera as a movement was created in order for people to express all kinds of feelings without needing any particular label for what they're struggling with. it lets you wear your heart on your sleeve, and embrace aspects of yourself that you have trouble accepting. you can be beautiful, despite everything. you can be beautiful despite having traits that you've felt so insecure about for the longest time, whether it be skin color, hair type, face shape, cultural significances; none of that makes you any lesser, regardless of what you may feel or what others may have told you. my own race has tied into many of my experiences with my self-image, and my struggle with that view is part of why i identify with the menhera subculture. for anyone reading this who feels similarly, this is sort of my way of saying that you aren't alone!

i feel that, although the medical association is most likely here to stay, the majority of the menhera community can also work beyond only acknowledging certain facets of mental illness. this isn't only referring to the acknowledgment of racial issues, but other intersecting traits that affect people's experiences with mental illness. gender, class, physical disability, orientation; all of these undoubtedly influence each individual's views on mental health, and the community should strive to be more open towards all of these different experiences no matter how messy or uncomfortable they get. after all, the purpose of menhera is to tell ourselves that we're pretty, cute, handsome, gorgeous, and all of those kinds of adjectives despite how our troubles make us feel!

#rise and shine #menhera #yamikawaii #yumekawaii #メンヘラ #mental health

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illegiblewords · 4 months

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Discussing the sex lives of wizards in the name of psychology under the cut! BG3, warning for discussion of suicide and mental health issues.

Man, analysis of Gale’s sex scene keeps getting waved under my nose with the notion that if you don’t go with Weave you’ve done something wrong. I addressed it already but like.

1) One of the popular arguments is that Gale is magic, magic is Gale, you might as well forbid an artist from painting. One could argue that particular mentality is a huge part of why Gale having issues. I said it before but like—speaking from having been there IRL with writing and editing. As a creative, you don’t lose your entire medium if you take time to focus on acknowledging your self-worth and those who love you without the medium. It’s actually insanely important to be able to do that imo. Not making the first sexual encounter be through magic doesn’t mean it’s never going to happen or is an inferior thing generally. I think emphasizing it as a first encounter and not a last one is a huge deal. It’s also a big step beyond what Gale expects for himself at that point.

The reality Gale had resigned himself to, that he was terrified of, involved obeying Mystra even if she ordered him to kill himself. Her love and his worth are conditional upon how well he can please her. Gale’s ‘comfort zone’ of performing acts of service specifically to retain worth is actively harmful to him and is part of what he was conditioned to accept through abuse. Even in Act III he can struggle with the idea that he is not defined by Mystra’s expectations of him. Like Shadowheart, stepping into choices beyond the will of his goddess is almost unfathomable. It’s still really important to recognize there are other possibilities.

2) There’s a dev note about Gale bowing to the player’s preference if the player opts for non-magical sex. I want to pose for your consideration as a comparison—is it better to farm Astarion’s approval by staying in his comfort zone/sense of the familiar (cruelty, violence) when those things are maladaptive? It comes out a lot through the game that an overwhelming amount of his behavior ties to coping mechanisms that helped him survive with Cazador, but it’s extremely unhealthy outside of that scenario.

All of the companions have trauma caused by abuse. All of them have some measure of mental health issues at work tied to that. And the thing with mental illness linked to trauma is, that person’s brain is doing the best it can to protect them from threats. When the threat is no longer present and they have room to seek health + stability, those coping mechanisms may become a hindrance instead. For Gale, he’s struggled with severe isolation and self-esteem problems to the point that he’s convinced that without magic or unique acts of service he shouldn’t be alive. Mystra has reinforced this. I pose the threat to him (by his perception) has been worthlessness and abandonment. His defense became to make himself irreplaceably valuable through his abilities so he has a concrete defense against those threats. Gale is still learning to adapt to healthy relationships that aren’t with Mystra, where he isn’t being framed as expendable.

Another thing I want to raise for consideration is that there’s a pattern common to people preparing to kill themselves. This involves wrapping up unfinished business, giving away belongings, basically saying good-bye. Gale starts the ‘last night’ scene with that exact intent and mindset. He is planning to die. A player insisting against suicide is not wronging Gale. A player interacting with Gale outside his trauma to offer a different, more stable lifeline than ‘worth through abilities and offerings’ is not doing him a disservice.

Change and recovery can both be fucking scary. You literally have to challenge the way you look at the world, yourself, and other people. For a while you lose all sense of how to judge in that new context. There’s no guarantee the attempt to change will pay off. The idea of trying and failing is scary as hell under those circumstances too because it risks finding hope only for it to be destroyed again. That hurts more than if you've already given up and are braced for further harm.

It’s still important to try though. Living in despair is pretty horrific. I’ll go a step further too to say feeding someone’s mental illness can be a form of abuse. I don’t think taking the Weave-sex option is abusive, but there is some risk of encouraging harmful complexes for Gale depending on interpretation.

The player seeing Gale’s tower, his books, Waterdeep—those are still beautiful things. But he presents them when and how he does because he’s planning to kill himself. I’d argue Gale offers to give as much as he knows how, as well as he knows how, specifically because he’s planning to kill himself. He wants to give the best of himself and his life to his love before he dies. He wants that to mean something to his love. Insisting that suicide is not on the table and that the sex scene is a first time rather than a last is still alien territory for Gale because of how much his sense of possibility has been narrowed. It also involves a radically different perception of relationships for Gale if they aren’t rooted in magic. Of course he’s nervous. What if his partner changes their mind? What if they’re disappointed? What if he says or does the wrong thing? What if he’s clumsy? What if he doesn’t make the encounter everything he wants to say and do only to kill himself after all? What if Gale Dekarios (not Gale of Waterdeep) slips from the world unmourned? What if his only legacy is how he died?

But again, Gale’s partner can insist this isn’t a last encounter. It’s a first. He doesn’t have to do everything right now. He doesn’t have to be running out of time the way he’s believed for over a year.

And by-the-by, sometimes partners do try new things together. Sometimes that involves trepidation. Being nervous isn’t mutually exclusive with consent or even having a good time. Sometimes having existing habits and mentalities challenged can result in growth, improved well-being, and finding new stuff to enjoy. Just gotta be mindful.

Again, Gale’s coping mechanism against the threat of abandonment is acquiring value in what he can uniquely give others. I would argue that for the physical sex scene in particular, there’s an opportunity to give to him instead. This would likely be somewhat beyond his experience and comfort zone given he was expected to impress his goddess through offerings before. Gale has a real fear of being deemed replaceable and discarded if he has nothing unique to provide. Positioned as someone being offered to is foreign for him. And doing it on mundane terms, not as the wizard of Waterdeep but as just Gale—that’s also foreign. Doesn’t make it a bad thing though. Imo it really is a good first step.

3) I’ve seen people get pissed about how the game can imply Gale isn’t great at physical sex. Between the books he reads and his relationship with Mystra, I’m going to suggest it’s possible Mystra was solely dealing with Gale on her terms, in the Weave, non-physically. And I’m also going to suggest that Gale has wanted to do more physically but felt like it was a dirty, ungrateful, mortal thing to want from his goddess. Would explain why he’s not as confident there. The fact that he has a book full of physical sex acts only to leave bodies behind just adds to my suspicion that while he knows he’s very good at Weave-sex, there’s a lot he never got to explore with Mystra regardless of his own interest.

I also really, really think it’s okay if Gale is less experienced with physical sex. No one is born knowing everything. Being able to engage in a safe way (so partner not being an ass about it lol), try new things, and become more familiar through practice could be sweet. No pressure, his partner wants to share this with him. Guy’s clearly a fast and enthusiastic learner anyway. 😉

I’d like to think Gale gets to deal with weird body sounds or moving inelegantly only to find it’s okay to laugh about that stuff. There’s less pressure. He can do things like boop his partner’s nose or make them reach to kiss him. Sex doesn’t always have to be some immaculate, serious affair. It isn’t his last chance. He isn’t being abandoned. He’s personally valued in this relationship.

Characters can have clumsy but heartfelt sex. Characters can have clumsy but charged fight scenes too. Areas of imperfection are part of being alive and there’s room to examine that in storytelling. Not everything needs to be expertly choreographed.

As one last thing, like… the sense I’m getting between discussions is that there’s some conversion contest stuff going on. Trying to put down one sex scene to justify the other schtick. Maybe I fueled that accidentally, dunno. I think some of it probably comes down to different interpretations of characters between fans. For my interpretation, I don’t think Weave-sex would work thematically. Another person’s interpretation might be a different story altogether.

Part of what makes Baldur’s Gate 3 cool imo is how varied the stories that come out of it can be. Which is to say nothing for fans bringing different spins. I might not go with God-Gale and see that iteration as tragic/unheathy. Somebody else might think it’s poetic justice since Mystra is a former mortal who ascended to godhood herself, and God-Gale realizes he is no less worthy than her. There is mutability here imo and I hope this can clarify I really do mean it on varied reads.

#I’m not tagging this time lol but it’s a Gale post #this is all typed by phone straight up so apologies for any awkwardness

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fairycosmos · 4 months

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i just wanted to confess to you, that my therapist recently told me i don‘t have ptsd/cptsd nor depressions from the tests we made, and for some reason that really hurt me? i know she was just referring to what the tests say but it just hurt me because i feel like that invalidates my trauma. i am so deeply hurt by my past and have issues but i don‘t have any diagnosis… i hope you understand

i get it, that must be very frustrating!! especially when you've been looking for answers about your mental state for so long, only to be told thhat. it's a lot to deal with all at once. i will say it is absolutely possible to have very real trauma without fitting the very specific criteria of ptsd - and that doesn't necessarily mean your experience is any easier to deal with. it sounds like you've been through a lot and it's worth treating yourself with care and understanding because of that, not because of whatever diagnoses you may or may not have. i think it would also be worth getting a second opinion if you think that would be helpful to you - you know yourself well and if you feel you're exhibiting symptoms of ptsd and depression consistently then you deserve to have access to support regarding that. sending you so much love - please go easy on yourself and know that you deserve the help you need regardless of what official diagnoses you have or don't have. if there are any local resources for mental health in your area, support groups or counselling or even just self-help pdf's you can download online that will help you manage your symptoms - please take advantage of them even if you are feeling invalidated right now. it can and will still help you out. x

#anon

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mental-health-advice · 9 months

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I'm really struggling with self-esteem and self-worth issues lately, and the slightest piece criticism is enough to make me feel suicidal. I feel I've broken under the pressure and expectations of being an adult (18) and every time I've tried tell my parents (read: had an emotional breakdown about it) it's been dismissed as childish and narcissistic. Not to sound petulant, but being an adult is so hard - all the responsibilities and "suck it up, you're 18!” is making me feel so depressed - I honestly wish that I was a child again, because I feel like I need the gentle way you'd reassure them - I feel so fragile right now, like I want someone to say "you're not a bad person if you forget to ask to brush your teeth." (Physically disabled, live with parents)

I don't know how to ask for their help in finding a therapist, or getting extra extra help since they are so dismissive of my mental health issues.

Hey there,

I think it’s normal for anyone to feel overwhelmed with the stressors that come with being an adult. It would be so much easier to not have any responsibilities in life at all and especially when we are struggling or just finding life tough in general.

Having low self-esteem and self-worth issues can be really debilitating in itself as it can really affect one’s quality of life and especially if you are disabled on top of that. Despite still living at home with your parents is it worth having an in-depth conversation with them if you feel comfortable in doing so? Maybe if you were to sit them down and talk to them about what you struggle with and the fact that the slightest of criticisms makes you feel suicidal right now, they may be more understanding of you and your needs (in regards to support with your mental health and/ or other physical health issues.) It can be so disheartening when our own parents are dismissive of us and what we are struggling with the most, and especially if they don’t even try to understand. Sometimes us being like a ‘broken record’ as such can make them see that we are really struggling and that it isn’t just a one-off thing or a phase that will improve on its own.

I want you to know that you can also always contact a counsellor from either a helpline or on web counselling, and that this may even be a good starting point in you getting some much needed help and support. I say this because you could practice with them how you could approach your parents and what you may say. The counsellor may also be able to give you other advice or refer you onto other relevant services that may be able to help you. Through talking to a counsellor, they can have a better understanding of you, what you need help/ support with more specifically and just have a much broader knowledge of what is going on for you. Is this something you may feel comfortable in doing?

I also want you to know that we are also always here for you and you do not have to go through any of this alone, so please do reach out to us if we can help to support you in any other way!

I’m thinking of you and hope that you are going well!

Take care,

Lauren

#mha-lauren #advice #advice blog #mental health advice #anonymous #mental health support #dismissive parents #low self-esteem #low self-worth #being an adult #responsibilities #disabled

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mydemonsdrivealimo · 11 months

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eros - 5

philia - 5

storge - 3

ty ty!! just answering these for jensen but lmk if you want bryce too !!

How closely is their opinion of their own beauty (or lack thereof) linked to their confidence? Do they see themselves as more or less worthy of love or sex based on how attractive they feel?

oh this is an interesting one for jensen. jensen wasnt really conventionally attractive until he was like,, twenty-two ish? that was when he really started focusing on his health, working out more, getting meds for his acne, etc etc. the thing is though, jensen still doesnt really think of himself as that attractive. like he wouldnt put himself on any high rank of conventional beauty, but he knows he looks good in terms of "acquired" tastes. so, with that in mind, his beauty is def not linked to his confidence, nor is it linked to how worthy of love he is. listen, he knows he isn't bad-looking, but its usually not something he thinks of much at all. hes learned how to dress and style to his body and he has a comfortable relationship with how he looks. his confidence came from that improvement of the relationship he has with himself, and how he treats himself, so his physique is very detached from his worthiness and confidence.

What is their most fervent wish for their best friend(s)? How far would they go to make it happen?

jensen wants aliyah and cy to succeed so badly, in whatever it is they do. they did so much for him, probably saved his life, and the thought of them meeting roadblocks bothers the hell out of him. jensen is willing to go farther than what may be expected for them, purely because of how much theyve impacted the course of his life. particularly with aliyah, he wants her to have success with all the music she releases, with booking shows, etc etc. one of her biggest goals is getting a show at madison square garden and jensen has been and will be there for that entire journey

How far does parental approval (imagined or expressed) impact upon their current sense of self-worth? What might they sacrifice or attempt to achieve in order to ensure the approval of their parents?

currently? none at all, but jensen has worked so hard to get to that place. for a very long time, all he couldve asked for was his mothers approval. he perceived himself as a stain on her existence, just a problem she had to deal with, but after years of therapy he has come to realize that it wasn't his fault. his mother is a very intrinsically driven person, mainly focused on her own goals and happiness. now, this isnt wrong, per se, but when you have a child involved, particularly a child you removed from everything theyve known and taken on soley as your responsibility, you cant have that mentality. i havent talked about it before, but thats one of the biggest issues jensen has with his mom now that hes older. especially after she married into a white rich family, he feels that a lot of their goals dont align, and he has trouble connecting with her because of that. hes realized how different they are---to the point of incompatibility---and finds no use in trying to align their priorities through her approval

#tysm!!!#jensen valentine #open heart mc #asks answers

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sophocused · 2 years

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I started actively trying with my mental health recovery journey in my first year of uni, in 2018, and since then as I went through the transition of going from 19 to 23. (No therapist or counselor yet because I don't got that time or money)

this year, and it's may right now, I feel like it's the longest I've ever gone of being in a decent state that, even though all the bad thoughts, self doubt, etc. are still there, I've developed some pretty effective systems that the worse days seem more like "just bad days".

1. Not spending energy pretending I'm more upbeat or engaged or enthusiastic than I actually I am for the comfort of others. I feel like a lot of my high school life and early uni life was spent trying to "fit in" with people who didn't understand what it's like to live with a mental illness or severe anxiety, depression, etc. I've noticed that due to my 2 year relationship being very vulnerable and my partner influencing me that I can just be the me I naturally am with anyone, it put me in the habit of forgetting to pretend. It's saved me a lot of energy, and in a way feels more like an act of self-love and self-compassion by not making myself endure for the sake of others. For example, I speak in a relaxed flat tone because I'm no longer worried that I don't sound engaged enough. Sometimes it could even sound tired to people. What's important is I know it's just me respecting how I'm currently feeling.

2. Expressing that I like being invited, but also choosing myself if I notice my social battery is out. I used to think that rejecting invites would cause eventually for people to stop inviting me to anything. I reflected on why I felt that way, and decided that if I'm not a reliable source for enough quality time for people, that is their right to also care for themselves. But I will also care for myself, and notice my cues and limits.

3. To combat the gnawing feeling that my mode of productivity will only last for a little because I'm manic, I told myself, "Even if it is because of mania, at least I got things done and did my future self a favour." By not internalizing guilt about my stints and dips in my mental stability, I actually don't get too extreme anymore. For example, instead of pulling an all-nighter to clean out and re-organize every square inch of my room, I do it from 6pm-12am, and actually get sleepy by 11pm.

4. I don't share out loud to other people too often what I plan to do or aim to do to improve myself in many areas of my life because I've noticed that my brain accidentally gets tricked into thinking that I've gotten them done already. Like, the dopamine from talking about what I'm going to do is high enough to make me tired because thinking and dreaming out loud was tiring and felt like an accomplishment in itself.

5. I learned that I've reached a point that my self-esteem is not tied to my insecurities. I could be insecure that I'm not the weight I want to be or that my hair is getting brassy, but it does not mean I see myself as worth any less of the way I believe I deserve to be treated. With my partner, I am never afraid to state my needs or dispute an issue in fear of them leaving for someone more attractive or active or something.

6. My split shift for the past 3 months tricked me into becoming a morning person. After spending most of 2021 struggling to sleep until 4am and waking up at 2pm, getting out of bed around 4pm... This year is a shock. I'm sleepy by 10:30pm, I wake up without an alarm around 6:30am or 7:30am, and I have developed a habit of getting straight out of bed instead of spending hours on my phone. This was thanks to my Routinery app I used from January to February that helped me with visual aid and timer to get moving and what I'm supposed to be doing.

And yeah that's about it that I've noticed about myself because of how contrasting it is from who and how I was 2-3 years ago.

Also, I don't care if I'm getting along better with my mom now, I'm still moving out with my friends or partner as soon as I get my savings to $10k, and am making at least $30k a year (potentially, march 2023 because I'm graduating in February 2023).

I'm excited to live by my values that show a great love and altruistic approach to people and community. I'm excited to not have to hear abelist comments, heteronormative comments, and just blatantly negative and offensive comments from my gen X parents. I love them but in loving them, I've grown to accept that if it's 2022, and they still repel or evade the signs of progressiveness and inclusivity, there's nothing I can do now except protect my peace and live by my truth on my own and with people who share the same.

My last thought to say is:

It feels good to be tired from doing things, instead of just being tired after having done nothing all day. I'm very tired right now. Because I'm home from my 3rd split shift of the week. I work at 6:30am and finish at 6pm. Open and close. It has been grey skies and drizzle all week. I'm tired. However, I apply myself still at work because it does make me happy to feel that I'm bringing happiness to other people, and also ofc money lol. There's something about work I like because it forces me to be offline and off my phone or any device for 6 hours in the day. Next week, I'm even going to start biking to work in the morning and afternoon, with some jams, bc it's only 10 min away and is a straight line. This could open up a whole new area of consistent/mandatory self care for me.

I can feel the mentally unwell me fighting, biting, kicking, scratching, to go back to when it was "easy" to just suffer in silence and anhedonia. I just place my hand gently on her head, carefully brushing her hair out of her face, and say, "I know, I understand it would be nice. But you deserve to feel something now. You deserve to keep feeling more and more, and to always choose yourself."

#nina rambles #mental health #recovery

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there-are-always-flowers · 10 days

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Not a single book to be read...

I didn't read much this month. I started a few, read the Vanity Fair Hollywood issue, and a handful of Atlantic articles. But in the name of consistency, I wanted to do a monthly write-up.

Lover, Stalker, Killer got a lot of hype, and my initial reaction was positive as well.

The season finale of RHOP and part 1 of the reunion made the whole sleepy season worth it. Mia guaranteed her slot for next season (I hope) and solidified me as a fan! I just fear for the rest of the cast. This franchise was SO good! I'm sad to see litigious actions get in the way of what could be a good time. I can't even take a side because truly all parties are letting their pride get in the way of a lot of this series. I would like to explore the claims of colorism because at times I think the women -Candice and Wendy- take it too fair, and other times I think the others -Giselle, Robyn, Ashley- do get away with a lot that. But is that because of the color or their skin or because their better at being bitches? In fact, I would say Candice gets away with more bad behavior than anyone. Though, I do appreciate Candice bringing colorism up because whether I agree or disagree, it is an issue, and likely one she has to live through everyday. Who am I to minimize that? I think my concern is when it's used as a weapon against her cast. Don't get me wrong, I love the fighting. But there's a line where you eventually should want to empower each other, not sling insults.

I may have the harshest opinions about Lovely Bones. I remember the hype around that book and movie and it's been on my to-watch list for ages! I had such high hope with a young Saoirse Ronan, Stanley Tucci, Rachel Weisz, and crime drama with a touch of supernatural to boot! I also didn't hate that Mark Wahlberg was in it. He's a controversial guy, but I love a Boston accent. The moment stayed positive for 98% of this movie. And for those who have seen it (or read it; I'm not sure if the book follows the same ending), will hopefully understand how aggravating for our protagonist to steel a kiss rather than enact justice for herself and her family. I don't care that the villain got GOT eVeNtUaLlY. I guess I'll refrain from spoilers, but this ending was not it!

If you were a kid with cable between 1999 and 2010 and didn't watch Quiet on Set, what are you even doing? The best way I can describe this documentary is by steeling someone else's TikTok review unattributed: "These kids gave up their childhood, so we could have ours." My heart goes out to all children in show business. We see over and over again the damage it could cause, and we still can't seem to get it right.

I watched Schitt's Creek early on in the pandemic (as everyone seemed to do), but hadn't really rewatched it beyond memorable clips online. It was well worth the rewatch. In fact I would argue that the second go around was even better because there was no getting to know the characters. Honestly this show is so heartwarming and I envy the creators way of developing these characters. There growth over the 6 season is incredible. They never lose who they are at their core, but they become such lovable, fallible, people. We should all be so lucky.

Finally, Take Care of Maya was a fascinating watch. My main intrigue was the chronic disease the titular Maya suffered and that a ketamine comma in Mexico was the existing treatment. The ways in which our bodies can fail us is incredible -- how many times have I used "incredible" in this write-up? Note-to-self, expand my vocabulary. Of course the tragedy that this documentary reveals is a failure in yet another American system. In documentaries like this it makes me question if there will ever be a solution to these problems, though for my own mental health I try not to dwell on it outside of business hours (/s).

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j-rebirth · 18 days

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Your Health Matters

The transitioning of teenagers to adults is not an easy path. Students who go to college must handle a lot of responsibility. And truth be told, life happens. Whether there is a catalyst or not, Mental health is present in everyone. So, imagine battling, several classes, jobs, relationships, homework, and many more, while also battling mental health issues. Just as we do physically, we must remain healthy mentally and emotionally. A major mental issue that affects everyone is depression. Depression is a mental disorder characterized by a loss of joy and interest in everyday life. Depression affects over 75% of college students in America and can lead to worse things such as suicide. The cause of depression could be caused by anything being genetic, environmental, etc. Symptoms of depression could be loss of interest and consistent pessimism, loss of energy, feelings of loneliness, guilt complex and lack of self-worth or living, difficulty sleeping and feeling restless, weight gain/loss, suicidal thoughts, etc. Dealing with depression while also in college, is a challenge no one should face, especially alone. Unfortunately, it is very common as stated earlier and I have experience in it. It was primarily due to covid.

My first semester in college was not what I always dreamed it would be. It was the second year of covid-19 and my plans along with society were flipped all the way around. I was still struggling to cope and bounce back from not having a fun, cool senior year and not making it to other colleges I dreamed of. Let alone dealing with tons of friendships and relationships ending and my parents getting a divorce. I was extremely bummed out and didn't even have any joy or interest in being in college anymore. I thought "What was the point"? In doing so, my grades dropped exponentially and could have made bad go to worse very quickly. Everything I could've worked for would've been for nothing and I potentially could have gotten even more depressed.

I bring up my story for two reasons. For one reason, I never had anyone tell me I was depressed. In fact, it was the opposite. My family constantly gaslighted me telling me I was not depressed and that I was ungrateful for the life I had, which then made things worse. I never want anyone to go through anything remotely similar to what i had to go through. The second reason is because, just like me, everyone else has a story. A story that defines their lives and we have no idea what others are going through. I wanted to make this post because I want people to know that they are not alone and that it is okay to feel how you feel. The important thing though is to help you and overcome these feelings. So, the transition from teenager to adult can become a lot easier when you have the resources and people to guide you and help you. Thank you, and may you have a wonderful rest of your life.

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imaslothandsowhat · 1 month

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still unemployed. also, highly anxious and have creeping depression coming back. home situation so stressful with the whole home renovation. we dont have any help and im incapable of doing everything my parents want me to do. i keep having pestering health issues. i dont get enough sleep and i think i have very strong case of insomnia fuelled by horrible anxiety. home renovation is so stressful and shit doesnt work bcos both my parents are old and, well, im not a fucking builder so i dont do it either. they keep having constant bickering to full blown out fights. i cant even clean the house, im so exhausted all the time. i think tis the atmosphere in the house - depressing and hopeless, we all succumbed to it. i dont know how to escape. also, reading horror stories - that may have influenced my mental state in one way or another, who knows, at least it keeps me happy bcos im lost in another book.

i try to write. finished one shot. writing another one, a very long one. i have many ideas for fanfics but then i get discourages bcos 'those are just fanfics'. they are not going to get me employed or recognised in any way. its not a published book draft. i cant force myself write an analytical piece of essay on politics - it bores me, kills me. i want to be educated and i try to read some academic articles but i cant physically force myself to open one. also, i want to and, actually, just have to read and learn the laws (plural, yes, so fucking many) of my country so i can be an educated citizen that knows her rights. its intimidating, its a lot, i want to cry often bcos i feel like a failure.

im so old and i dont have a job even though i graduated bachelors already a year ago. i shouldve found smthgn by now. but i dont want any job, i want smthng nice and worthy of m and my time and my knowledge. but i suppose im also very lazy and passive. i thought about starting a youtube channel, but thats also a lot of effort. a lot of energy.

all my energy goes to surviving day by day in this depressed household whre my father is always angry, tired, unhappy and my mother is always angry, tired, unhappy. see, a pattern? i am, too, always angry, tired, unhappy. when things go well, we cherish and we dont do anything. then, things swiftly go to shit and i feel sm anxiety that i feel my heart bursting and bleeding and i dont have any meds (except simple calming one) to help me. i want to cry, often, more often.

i began my singing online classes. it felt like a lot of fun and i enjoyed it. i want to begin my piano classes too, slowly. but then, i feel like a failure bcos its not a job. i dont work. i dont get money. i dont develop myself career-wise. everythign i do and enjoy slightly - its all a mess, its all unworthy, its all pointless. i dont help around the house, i dont help with renovations, i dont work. im nothing, i worth nothing. i dont have a job and im nothing, i dont have a career and how dare i dream big, how dare i be ambitious.

very depressive state of mind. my mind is haunted, i suppose, its hunted even by these sharks of anxiety and self-hatred ingrained so deep within me that it takes me so many years to unlearn that no, in fact, killing oneself is not a logical decision and hating every inch of your being and your personality is, in fact, not a healthy and cool attitude.

well, doing it all little by little. might read some academic articles, might not. who knows? no one fucking hires me regardless of how many cvs i send. my country is rotting, decaying from blatant nepotism and corruption. how will i move through it? i do not know. but i put too much energy already in my beautiful hobbies, in helping around the house, in keeping myself and my parents sane and not going off the rockers. its a full time job, actually! i try to soothe myself before i sleep bcos i wish only to cry and scream bcos how dare my fate not be what i have imagined all these months ago.

the world is cruel, unhappy, damp place. and i think im falling through it. but im trying to remember that this all is just a temporary feeling and i will feel better soon, maybe even tomorrow. my hobbies make sense, they are worth the time, worth my energy. i must try to enjoy my life even though i feel like its running away and i am worthless and my mom's words about 'doing something, write something, DO SOMETHING' are not helping. i simply want to decompose, cease to move forever. why time flies so fast? its already the third month of the year and i havent accomplished anything. work-wise, i guess. mentally? im down again. why life is like this.

tmrw i believe things will be better even though i cant for the life of me force myself to fall asleep early bcos my thoughts are killing me, eating me from the inside. i cant for the life of me force myself to wake up early bcos the dread of the day filled with depressive state horrifies me. what a cycle i live in. i dont know how to get out. and my depressed and angry parents are not helping. and i do not want to leave my house, pls do not suggest, im so sick of this stupid suggestion.

#personal rant

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yukiyuu44 · 5 months

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10 Things I Learned in 2023

Journaling - Whenever I go through a tough life even my mood and emotions, I always journal because it will stay with you forever and you can look back at what you went through during your challenging times. It helped me to get to know myself on a personal level.

Self-care - Always, Always prioritize time for yourself. Recognize your value, your worth, and prioritize your mental and emotional health.

Take what resonates with you - Whether it's a book, movie, show, or advice. Choose what genuinely fits you, and avoid absorbing everything you see or hear. Not everything will work for you in the long run.

Ignore Negativity - I learned how to disregard untrue rumors about me. Trust yourself; don't let others' opinions sway you, as you know yourself best.

Connected with people - Seek those who understand you mentally and emotionally. Building connections may lead to unexpected friendships, enriching your life in ways you never imagined.

Therapy - If your mental health is still getting worse, then I recommend you see a therapist. They can guide you in the right direction. If you don't have time to see them in person, then you can use a platform like BetterHelp and it helps me so much to understand myself more.

Take Action - If you find yourself questioning your job or career fit, it's time to consider a change. You do not want to waste your time if you are not happy with what you're doing. Start exploring new career options that align with your passions for long-term fulfillment.

Speak Up - If you need something or encounter an issue, don't hesitate to express yourself. Make sure your voice is heard. Even if the outcome isn't what you hoped for, at least you've addressed your concerns.

Don't ignore the Burnout - If you feel yourself getting burned out, take a step back. A short 5-minute walk, especially after extended computer work, can be a simple yet effective way to recharge.

Gratitude - Appreciate the small moments—whether it's learning to cook, starting a new TV show, or any little thing. It does not have to be big; it's about finding joy in everyday life.

#mental heath support #selfcare #self growth #therapy #mental health aw #2023 #journaling #self-care #self-love #speak up #connected people #burnout #gratitude #coping

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thedarkthingcreator · 6 months

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Online counselling- 4 amazing reasons you should go for it

What is meant by the phrase "advisor"?

Counselling is a one-on-one or group where a licensed expert helps you work through everyday issues. A counsellor assists you by listening to you discuss recent or past life events. This allows the counsellor to provide ideas and direction to help you give your thoughts and life substance in the correct way. It streamlines and increases the efficiency of your everyday life. Clients and counsellors collaborate to finish this consultation. Expert counsellors strive to enhance communication and coping strategies, enhance self-worth, motivate constructive behaviour modification, and advance the best possible mental health. They also assist customers in identifying objectives and possible fixes for issues that lead to emotional pain. Approximately 75% of patients who seek care do so in some way.

1. How can I tell whether I require counselling?

It's possible that you've been considering counselling for a while. Sometimes you just need someone to chat to when you're feeling low. The following day, you feel well and decide you no longer want to receive counselling. But the issues that are causing you to feel this way are still there, and over the next few days, you will undoubtedly feel worse. You're feeling overburdened, and a lot of factors—like stress, anxiety, or depression—are affecting your health. You could find it challenging to talk to them about the problems or to discuss them with your friends or family because they are directly involved in them. Past issues have an impact on your day-to-day life. Should you require advice if you find yourself in any of these scenarios?

2. How significant is counsel?

Counselling has been shown to enhance mood, lessen mental illness, save medical expenses, improve relationships and communication, and foster resilience and self-worth. Through counselling, self-destructive patterns and behaviours can be altered. lowering anxiety, sadness, or other mental health issues; Enhanced communication and control of feelings, particularly fury. Boost self-assurance and decision-making abilities.

3. When should the first therapy session start?

Depending on their needs, there are typically different appropriate ages to begin counselling. This is because each person's journey is different and they can require therapy at different points in time. However, we advise against starting treatment for youngsters until they are unable to function on their own, or until they have experienced a traumatic event or unclear circumstance. Thus, there isn't a proper or improper moment. When you sense that you should see a therapist, pay attention to your intuition.

4. What is the duration of a session?

"How often do counselling sessions take place?" is one of the many concerns that many people who desire to start counselling may have. People who require counsel cannot devote their entire time to it, so they take this action. Ultimately, people have other obligations in their lives. As a result, each patient needs to be aware of how much of their day their consultation occupies. The therapist and patient usually meet in person once or twice a week for 45 to 55 minutes. The patient also spent five to ten minutes checking in and completing brief mood assessments in order to assist the counsellor.

5. How much is it?

Each treatment session should cost you between Rs 1,000 and Rs 3,000. But GoodLives has simplified and made the question more understandable. It's worth the consultation price. These gatherings, therefore, cannot be viewed as merely passive activities. It is essential that you take an active role in the mission. In order to put what you've learned into practice, you should finish the homework that many therapists assign you in between sessions.

Make an appointment by going to Goodlives.

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