#and i just now realised that i am most likely fucked

[xenocorner]

Small sketch page of some of my marvel blorbos ;; Couldn't fit all of them in it nor had the time but hey I got the itch scratched kinda

#I AM a Howard Stark simp in spite of his horrible parenting #Just look at that man MH Tony had to get his looks from somewhere godamn #Also I just now realised that the way I laid them out makes Stephen seemed annoyed at the two hot af men staring at him #or Loki n Stark having a stare down to see who keeps the wizard #that was actually unintentional #My hand probably knows what I want better than I do myself #also Wanda my fierce momma plz I love her so much I wanna hug and cuddle her she deserved so much better my bby #so did Nat UGH my heart broke when drawing her I miss her ;; #WHY ARE MOST OF MY FAVES DEAD NOW THAT I THINK ABOUT IT LIKE??? FUCK OFF ;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; #anyway #tony stark #iron man #stephen strange #doctor strange #loki laufeyson #loki #howard stark #wanda maximoff #scarlet witch #natasha romanoff #black widow #mcu #marvel #marvel fanart

[treasureplcnet]

also quite obsessed with karl being as detached from the story as he is. there's nothing that makes him have to be the detective that has to be involved, but he unknowingly dooms himself by agreeing to work with the KYAL cult. every other detective basically deals with elias head on except weissman, who only meets him right before he kills him. like he's right when he says "by my choices" because everything that leads him to being mixed up with the mannix cult is himself. it's the gambling debts and the choice to do the dirty work for an organisation he knows nothing about. he's the only one that doesn't encounter that body doing police work and it's specifically because he's told to cover it up. he gets himself into the mess and eventually fixes it but the fact that esther always dies in the doomed timelines and he's always too late even if he starts wanting to change things ("till this child. esther.") it just makes me very ill

#sorry jane who heard this on her dms but now im posting it to tumblr cause im having a category 5 woman moment. AND ALTERNATIVELY: #i am also EXTREMELY obsessed with how its a time loop and the idea (so sorry tumblr user whose post i have lost and was inspired by) #weissman was just so fucking hard to deal with that they made sure that he was in their pockets. i just like the idea of the loop-- #--having like. fixed points that elias would need to ensure the dystopia (body is covered up/the investigation closes/etc) but #how they get there is a slightly slower process and the earliest loops were the messiest/most unpredictable #and what we see in the show itself is like. the most streamlined version over hundreds of loops and attempts #so karl specifically. lonely that he is and determined to survive. AND with a cruel streak against people he doesn't like #kept nearly blowing their operation so they began to incorporate him in it instead #there's also another tragedy in there if /esther/ is what they realise works best against him.. #just love and kindness for a girl that weissman comes to see as family and they immediately exploit it after learning during an early loop #im ignoring specific plot points here (polly seemingly panicking when esther shows up at the station) but I DO NOT CARE. #THERE'S ANGST HAPPENING RN. IM CREATING SCENARIOS TO HURT ME #now if i could write coherently this would be written as a fic but im stuck writing too long textposts #karl weissman #bodies 2023 #bodies netflix #sorry to the other detectives. weissman in particular is my babygirl who i devote most of my brainpower to #personal

[jorvikzelda]

today i had this Vivid memory flash through my mind of kissing my ex boyfriend (this was like 2018) and i felt so viscerally fucking revolted and I gotta say. it is truly impressive that I didn’t realise I’m a lesbian sooner than fucking half a year ago

#z talks #like the misidentifying as ace was Inevitable i think. that was due to repression that realising i didnt like men would not have fixed #(context: id’d as bi ace like. i wanna say 2016/17-2021/22 sometime and then went into ace and Questioning) #remember the time i really solidly settled on being aro because ‘romance has never not felt like a chore and putting on a facade’ #babe no thats because your most recent and also singular long term relationship was with a Man #and thats the only one youre looking back on #its so funny how i dated a guy and it was so thoroughly Meh that i just didnt feel like pursuing anything romantic for a very long time #(A REACTION I HAD NOT HAD AFTER MY PREVIOUS RELATIONSHIPS WITH GIRLS) #And DIDN’T somehow consider that maybe I just Didn’t Like Guys #its nothing i grieve or feel sad about dw its honestly mostly funny to look back on #no wrongs were committed and i dont hold a grudge against the guy it was just me being confused and compheted #(…which is also a weird word to apply because at the time i identified and was out to my friends as a trans guy Binary. #This Was Also Wrong.) #was a weird time man. a truly weird time #anyway. all is well i have now been on 2 dates with a really cute girl and she gave me tulips <3 #as part of a Care Delivery bc i had a Migraine and No Painkillers Or Snacks #get well flowers <333333 #and now i dream of kissing her under the moonlight #With the uh. Hornetposting lately it May seem unlikely but yes I DO interact with real women! Romantically! #They coexist Wonderfully <3 #Anyway. I’m gonna go to bed #Realising that im a lesbian solved all my identity problems including my fucking gender which is just fantastic #I am very happy and whenever I think of being a lesbian it grounds me to reality a little bit stronger and i go yeah. Yeah.

[whumpshaped]

cant stop thinking abt that reply to bram's post abt the abusive cluster b parents so just know if u were abused like that, first of all, samesies and it gave me cluster b pds as a result, second of all, i promise no one whos calling for understanding of cluster b ppl is invalidating ur experiences. if u feel like they ARE, i sincerely hope u realise u dont have to have a medical explanation for why others suck. if ur parents sucked, u can just say that, and its freeing, and focusing on behavioural patterns instead of diagnoses (which u most likely dont have access to when it comes to strangers) will allow u to weed out actual bad ppl and keep urself safe(er)

#i understand its easy and comfortable to latch onto labels especially when it comes to parents #i did it #then i was diagnosed w the same shit #that was my turning point i think #when i realised we have the same shit and yet i am actively working very hard to be kind and compassionate #i dont go out of my way to be mean #at some point u have to realise that some ppl r just evil and mean spirited #and pds arent indicative of how self aware or kind or polite or compassionate someone is #i'd argue most of us put in SO much work to know ourselves and our potentially harmful behavioural patterns #way more than a neurotypical who never bothered to look inward for even a second #'these stereotypes dont come from nothing' #no shit! my dad called me both borderline and narcissist as insults AND I TURNED OUT TO HAVE BOTH #but let me tell u smth #most of my symptoms? are fucking survival mechanisms i learned as a child to avoid getting hurt. because thats what the brain does. #u know what else didnt come from thin air? sayings like hurt people hurt people #plus my victim complex allows me to write banger complaint letters now so theres that #look around u and be very comfortable w the fact that ur probably surrounded by a bunch of cluster b ppl that u adore #bc we're just ppl too #and ur doing urself a disservice trying to spot us #cluster b ppl can be evil ppl just as neurotypicals but they can also be ur friend who struggles w insecurities and is a huge ppl pleaser #bc they read the ableist posts too and they know everyone in the mainstream world thinks theyre evil #and when if u told them 'well my cluster b parents were abusive' in a less accusatory tone #maybe theyd look u in the eye w compassion and say 'yea i know how that feels and im here for u'

[widevibratobitch]

.

#im so tired of this lalalalalalalalaa #something is Wrong lol #i really need this therapy on wednesday but guess WHAT im not going. im going to a funeral instead 🤡 #and ill be singing in that stupid fucking church because have to but i dont fucking wanna i hate doing it and i hate churches #all i feel rn is the overwhelming urge to selfdestruct and like obv im not gonna kms now #but im so fucking angry that im not even *allowed* to do that anymore. like it was such a comfort all this time to know that i can just Quit #and now i cant because guess what someone has to take care of my mother 🫠 and im so fucking tired of being someone people depend on #to handle THEIR feelings and THEIR emotions and just take it all with humility and acceptance and kindness and never snap and bite back #like i dont WANNA hear about your dead husband i dont wanna hear about your stupid fucking boyfriend #i dont wanna hear about the new guy/girl who's hitting on you because you're so hot and perfect #i dont wanna be responsible for how people feel. i should just shut up and take it and be humble and never ask or expect anything back #but when is it MY turn to call at 1 am crying about how im tired and want to kms #or to start expecting shit of people and allow myself to get properly angry at them for not meeting those expectations #or to braggingly 'complain' about something the other person clearly lacks without any consideration for their feelings #or to just openly cry and say deeply personal shit without any filter not caring if that other person is clearly uncomfortable af #because *i* need it right now and i need someone to listen and let them worry about how to even respond to that stuff #im just so tired of people expecting shit of me im tired of being made responsible even tho i clearly cannot handle that responsibility #i wanna be mean i wanna snap and get angry and openly say that i dont give a shit and am tired and cant listen to this rn #but i cant because i have to be a motherfucking mother theresa and never dare to demand something for myself #and idk where that comes from. idk if it's coming from the fanatic catholicism of my childhood or my mother or just from myself and idc #i just feel so horrible and guilty and wrong for wanting anything for myself #and it once again feels like im making myself the victim and the tortured martyr here when i should just shut up and take it #i just wanna lie down and die and not care about who'll get angry or judge or blame me for it im tired and i dont know what to do #i want someone to take care of ME and reassure ME and make ME feel like i matter and that they really will help me if i ever need it #and that they'd be kinda sad if i were gone not because i had a role to fulfill that i failed at by killing myself but because i am a person #<- math calculations flying around my head as i come to the terrible realisation #of just why exactly im so deeply obsessed with my voice teacher (aside from her being literally the most beautiful woman alive lol) 🤡 #like babygirl stop being so utterly overwhelmingly kind to me my knees are weak i would do anything for you queen and I MEAN IT

[thetardisisnotourdivision]

I can't fucking believe that I procrastinated my gender for like. A good three years.

#Like in fairness I was in an incredibly abusive environment already #Questioning my gender was the last fuckin thing I needed so I was just like “that's a problem for later” #Butttttttttt... Now I've got no idea what I'm doing #Like I've cut my hair??? I like looking like a boy???? #But I also know that a few months ago I was straight up wearing floor length skirts on the daily and braiding my hair with flowers?????? #and my definition of “boy” and “man” is so inherently fucked up bc of the abuse that I'm unwilling to actually use those words??? #And I chose the name I use for a reason as a promise (long story) but it's really feminine???? #And it'd be nice if people would be ok with using two different names for me if it turns out I am genderfluid but????? #They almost certainly won't?????? #Like most of them refuse to use my chosen name anyway and I'm just. To polite to correct them. #no I'm not canadien I'm british #Anyway help? #Bc I realised all this the other day LITERALLY AN HOUR before I went on stage and almost had a complete breakdown?????? #good news is there's this trans boy in my performing arts group and he was so nice and supportive that I didn't cry in the end #much anyway but still?????? I procrastinated my fucking gender????????? And now I'm fuckin confused??????? #Also I can now cosplay one of my OCs #So that's cool #Remember the name Becky Roberts guys #Like if I am trans for genderfluid or whatever it'll help next year with The Plan (which I may elaborate on if asked) #but also???? My parents still refuse to accept that I'm a lesbian if I tell them “yo I periodically become a boy” #They'll probably yell at me at BEST #“that's not a real thing!!!” NEITHER IS YOUR FAÇADE OF A HAPPY FAMILY BUT YOU BELIEVE IN THAT #*ahem* anyway yeah I'm struggling if anyone has any advice pls help #Oh and I've only told like one person I've cut my hair and I'm meeting up with a load of friends on Sunday #Bwhahahhahahahhah #help me #tw abuse mention #queer community

[avatarofwar]

i saw you talk about wolf a few times from sekiro and was wondering if you'd want to share more of your thoughts on him or sekiro as a whole, the game really interests me compared to other dark souls games so i wanted to ask

sorry for the late reply but oh boy do I have thoughts abt wolf. trying not to spoil the game, so I'm gonna refrain from talking about the story. might go into just restating known things about the game, but I'd much rather play it safe and not spoil the story

before going to that. the game is very much different from dark souls (setting wise, while taking place in a fictional country it is in a historical setting. I cannot comment on the setting properly bc I don't know much about the time period, however), most notably in the combat (primarily shifting from a dodge-centric playstyle to a parry-centric playstyle (significantly easier than dark souls/elden ring parrying, however), with dodges having significantly shorter i-frames and being very unreliable for dodging attacks). it's very different but something I really enjoy, even if I'm not as good as I am at typical soulsborne combat. it's really fun when you get the hang of it, and while I might not be The Best at it (which is mostly bc of how different it is from soulsborne games, so ofc I'm not as good at is as I am at the other fromsoft games I've played), it's something I can still enjoy

a huge thing about sekiro is the difference in how the story is told. in soulsborne games the story is something you have to figure out; progressing through the main path doesn't give you enough to piece everything together if you don't read any lore. with sekiro, however, the story is significantly more obvious, on account of the playable character having unique ties to the world and its characters, rather than going the soulsborne route of being one of many people (wording hard, but the chosen undead for example is no one special, just one of many undead trying to link the flame). it's a very different method of storytelling, but is still something really good. for as much as I adore having to actively hunt down lore and story in soulsborne games, it's also great experiencing story through natural game progression

wolf is also canonically disabled (loses his left arm at the start of the game) and has a really fucking cool prosthetic that is a whole part of the combat system (even though I personally keep forgetting to use it). so good for him. he deserves a prosthetic that can have deadly weaponry attached to it. like a mini-flamethrower. he deserves a mini-flamethrower, as a treat.

putting the wolf thoughts beneath a read more because this is getting long and I might spoil some stuff (mostly relationship with another character, I'll try to refrain from story spoilers. also spoilers in general, but there might be some), and he has definitely become a blorbo (additionally, content warning for abuse)

first of all. wolf makes me want to throw myself off a cliff and I mean this in the most positive way ever. he is great and I love him but man he needs so much fucking therapy and he doesn't even realise it (therapy probably doesn't exist in that time period, but besides the point). he is very much traumatised and has been heavily shaped by it and doesn't even know it.

prior to the events of the game (I forgot how long ago it was) he was orphaned by war and got taken in by owl, a shinobi and also a piece of fucking garbage. owl raises wolf to be a shinobi under the iron code, with the number one rule being loyalty to his father (owl), with his master (kuro, the divine heir) a close second (and also to give his life for his master if necessary. which is also a whole other thing to get into).

owl is very explicitly abusive. he raises wolf as a tool rather than a person, and that upbringing severely affects wolf as a character - he is an incredibly capable shinobi, but lacks any skills other than that; he does not know how to be a proper person, he is a loyal wolf, but he does not know how to be anything other than that. hell, without spoiling too much about the context, there is a cutscene in which owl actively attempts to guilt trip wolf, going as far as using fake tears (saying anything specific is very spoilery. this isn't even the only horrid thing he's done, but I'm trying to refrain from too many spoilers).

wolf canonically does not value himself without anyone to serve (we see this at the beginning of the game, as events prior to the start of the game not yet known about leads him to believe he has no one to serve, and thus no purpose, so he isolates himself from the world in a well for 3 years). while he does have compassion for others (most notable example being concern over victims of dragonrot), he starts off the game driven primarily by duty. he is loyal to a fault, willing to do anything for kuro, but also valuing his service to kuro more than himself (cannot remember the exact wording, but when kuro expresses concern for how many times wolf has died for him, wolf states that it does not matter as it was in service to him).

there's also the fact that wolf canonically eats uncooked rice and genuinely doesn't know - as a fully grown adult - you are supposed to cook it, which is... genuinely something awful if you truly think about it and what more it implies about his upbringing especially considering it's one of the most basic things you could learn how to make (just... says a lot about owl if you seriously think about it).

he is a loyal wolf, but he doesn't know how to be more than that. he doesn't know how to just... exist for himself, to be his own person separate of his duty and he doesn't even recognise just how fucked up it is, because how could he, when he was shaped into this as a child, when his own father wanted him to be nothing more than a tool to use.

I could say a lot more about his relationships with other characters (that are actually good people) and how it just. makes me lose my mind, but this post is almost 1k words. so, simply put, kuro genuinely caring about him makes me so fucking emotional, especially bc of owl; his father might be horrible and an abuser, he might not know how to be more than he was raised, but at the very least he can serve someone who actively cares about him and his wellbeing.

#THERE IS SO MUCH TO DISSECT ABT HIS CHARACTER AND HOW HEAVILY IT WAS AFFECTED BY HIS UPBRINGING #I've seen a handful of people call him boring bc he doesn't say much and isn't that expressive emotionally and none of them are valid #I'm gonna explode those people with my mind powers. he isn't boring you just don't understand how to analyse characters #I need need need to get this man to some fucking therapy he so desperately needs it and doesn't even know it #if there ever was a fromsoft character most in need of therapy poll he would sweep and if he didn't I'd explode people with my mind powers #also I realise now a lot of my thoughts abt the game are just. restating known parts abt the game. I apologise for not being more specific #if you wanted to know my thoughts abt the story specifically. oops. I AM sorry but I do want to play it safe #I also do really appreciate how it was like. the (or at least one of?) first game in this time period made by a japanese company #which is part of why there are some things I do not know how to comment on bc I am very much a white canadian #also has a small poison swamp location. might be a plus for some people. I personally don't mind most poison swamps too much though #and ngl I kinda miss the iconic large poison swamp you have to traverse. it could be really fun being able to grapple #did I mention his prosthetic has a fucking grapple built in? well it does and it's really fun for movement.

[my5hiningstars]

.

#just watched a fancam of everybody from last night's concert and i have so fucking many feelings #1) i didn't realise onew wasn't there last night for health(?) reasons?? #2) god shinee are the best most talented fucking group out there #3) it got to the ending fanchant and i am now sobbing bc shinee are 5 and always will be forever and ever and #4) i just realised this is the first concert they've done with an audience since like the 2018 concert fanmeeting things? #that i listened to and fucking SOBBED bc the combination of the fanchants staying the same and the parts being covered all over just #god this must be fucking hard for them bc it's nearly unbearable for me #but i'm so proud of them and so thankful that they keep going and i'll always be supportive whatever the future brings but GOD what a choice #they are such an important team to me and i've missed them so much

[aw-bean-s]

For anyone else who has been capital O obsessive over Wednesday's prom dress it's Alaia's 2020 fall ready-to-wear collection specifically look 8. If you were wondering.

#I have psychological problems #I have spent far too long trawling the Internet not only for this dress but what fucking fabric they use #Costume brain rot really came out to play #It's 2am and everything hurts I have been sitting in the same position for multiple hours #At first it was fine bc I was just screenshotting the show but then I googled it and found an interview w the designer #Who said it was alaia. So then I went to their site and found fuck all. So then I went to vogue. Had to make a vogue account. #Went through multiple collections (did not go in a logical order). Finally found The Dress. Set about finding fabric. #First I was like okay black sheer lightweight w a good shine to it. Found that. Let's find a brown underplayed or smthn bc it's kinda brown #Found that. Looked at the photos again and it's kind of two tone black and brown. Spend at least an hour looking for this through many etsy #Shops dodgy retailers and the most expensive fabric you will ever see. Only to look back and realise it has a slight pattern to it. #Give up and go to bed. #All this bc I wanted to make what is really quite a fuckin simple dress #I'm p sure now that I actually read things that it's an in house fabric and THAT makes me wanna murder #And SURE I could just make it in black but I'm a bit obsessed over the brown #And NOW I can't do the underlayer plan either bc then it's just too much yknow? #Idk idk it's my specific brand of mental illness coming out to play #So I thought I'd share my findings w the world you are welcome i am so tired goodnight.

[freckleslikestars]

Did anyone else’s school have a day every year where you were made to walk 16 miles or was that just me?

#it was mostly through farmland and along the riverbank and stuff #and one year the path was flooded but nobody realised until the first of the walkers reached it so we were taken on a diversion that added #an extra five miles #and like we weren’t allowed to just skip it #it was mandatory and if you didn’t turn up you’d get a mark on your record #it was bullshit #for four of the five years I was sporting at least one injury that made walking long distances painful #on top of the congenital chronic pain in my feet #but I was still made to walk it #fucking sucked #also I am really short and didn’t actually reach any growth spurts until I was like 15 #so I had really tiny legs and kinda had to semi jog the whole way to keep up #we also were supposed to dress up - most years had a theme like superhero’s or music or something #I always refused #usually I’d just wear shorts and a T-shirt #I don’t know why I’m thinking about it now #but fuck me that was always one of the worst days of the year #equally as bad as sports day #I’m wondering #do you have sports day in America?

[lovecrazedpup]

woo

#do u ever hear someone say something in a certain tone #and it genuinely makes you burst into tears #everything is just turning out like last time again !! #i was never this triggered with my ex and i dont fucking !! understand why !! im so hyper vigilant of everything my bf (idk ??) does now !! #its just a never ending cycle of overthinking > upset > hostile bc upset > him upset > never bringing up the issue bc does it even Matter #and then bottling it up and probably having a massive public breakdown abt it later bc who the hell do i talk to abt this shit #like i had a mini one today bc i was confused and angry and i got called a gaslighter and idk if it was a joke but holy fuck it hurt #what if i am and i dont know it and i am the most toxic person to ever exist and ill never change bc i dont realise it #for how problematic this blog is - i dont actually want to be a bad person lol #whatever though this is all dumb and stupid bc this whole friendship/romantic thing isnt even serious at all #or im trying not to take it serious so that its not as awful when shit ends again #im probably manifesting these problems into existence but whatever !! not gonna talk to these people for my entire life anyways so who cares #jamie.txt

[i-cant-sing]

Okay but I need yall to help me figure out the character(s) for the following scenario:

Imagine a romantic yandere falling for reader, and ofc reader isn't in love with yandere for obvious reasons like red flags. Maybe they did try dating, Yandere is a charmer, comes from a rich family, he's smart and hardworking and oh so head over heels in love with you. He's always taking you out on best dates, HAS to get you the largest fucking bouquets (excellent taste in flowers) and buys you expensive but well thought out gifts.

But for whatever reason, things dont work out and you break things off hastily and most likely over the phone before leaving the country. And yandere just- breaksdown. I mean my man does not have a good mental health as is, but you leaving, actually leaving him just breaks him down and he has a full blown panic attack.

I'm talking about yandere falling to his knees, clutching his chest and gasping for air, tears streaming down his face as he screams your name like a mad man. His family, they love him, they adore their son/brother/grandchild sm, it pains them to see him in such a miserable state. Yandere man is so delirious that he has to be sedated, tranquillised by medical professionals because he's just losing his fucking mind, babbling your name over and over again like a mad man. His condition only worsens as time passes, and so his family decides to take drastic measures because they can't see their beloved son/brother/grandkid so fucking dead and depressed and a shell of a once bright man. They love him so much, they only want ti see him happy, so they use their money and influence to track you down and try to convince you to return and take yandere back. When you refuse, they take the high way and force you to come with them, dragging you kicking and screaming to their private jet and fly all the way home, where yandere is.

You're in a dishevelled state, tears running down your cheeks as you struggle to free yourself from their grasps as they take you to yandere. And when yandere sees you... for the first time in months, his family sees the light return in his eyes as the yandere reaches out for you, scared that you're just his mind playing tricks. When he finally touches you, he is immeadiately pulling you into a hug, arms tightening around your body like a gilded cage as he cries into your shoulder and thanks his family for bringing you back. His family only smiles with tears in their eyes as they lock the door behind them when they leave, so that you don't go running away. Meanwhile, yandere has pulled you into his lap and he's looking at you with such sad eyes, staring at each feature of yours over and over again as if to memorise it all again. He can't help the tears that continue to slip out of his eyes, maybe he's crying that you're finally here, or maybe he's crying for all the time that's been lost when you weren't here. You fall asleep soon due to exhaustion, but yandere doesn't sleep a wink that night because he continues to stare at you and play with your hair very gently, finally closing his eyes when morning comes and he wraps his arms around you and traps your legs with his.

By now, you guys realise that the yandere's family is not only yandere for their son/brother/grandson but also for you. They are yandede for you too, but they're not allowing you to leave them or their son or even make him unhappy ever again. Some members are willing to let all you "tantrums" slide, while others are not so kind. BUT one thing is for sure, you're ALWAYS safe with yandere s/o, no matter what.

Now, for the characters I've had in kind for this scenario are:

Halim Mehmet Shah and the Shah Family (my ocs)

Dabi/Shotou and Todoroki clan (I am the OG creator of Yandere Todoroki Clan)

I wanna say Naoya or Toji but the Zenin clan hates them both....

Dick Grayson/Jason Todd and Batfam

What do you guys think?

Mood board for this scenario^^^(I love Pinterest)

#yandere halim shah #yandere #yandere oc #yandere ocs #yandere x reader #yandere x #yandere x you #yandere dabi x reader #yandere dabi #yandere x darling #yandere batfamily #yandere batfam x reader #yandere batfam #yandere bnha imagines #yandere bnha x reader #yandere bnha #yandere todoroki clan #yandere jujutsu kaisen #yandere jjk