#and i just moved another 35 asks to my drafts and i kinda wanna get through all of those before i open it back up again yk | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

spaceskam · 4 years

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the word of your body

draft 35 for @winged-fool, @callieramics, and @hmd023! same universe as this

warning: insecurity and slightly uncomfortable sexual situation (it’s resolved and nothing goes far at all, swearsies)

ao3

It was weird knowing that the only person you could ever actually be with didn't have the same regulations.

Alex watched with unmatched jealousy as Michael mindlessly followed a girl that walked past with his eyes. He knew he couldn't actually be jealous. They weren't together. They held hands and hugged, but nothing more and even that was only in small doses. Even so, that was only because Alex couldn't touch anyone else. Alex knew that was why.

He also knew Michael did actually like him–he'd made that clear–but he never pushed for anything more. But Alex knew this was his only shot at not being alone forever. What were the chances he'd find another age-appropriate, attractive, invincible guy? Unlikely.

"Hey," Alex urged, reaching out to grab his hand. Michael snapped his gaze back toward him, smile intact. "You wanna come over?"

"Come over? Like, to your house?" Michael clarified. Alex nodded. He wasn't entirely sure this was a good idea, to just be so forward, but Michael was always forward so it felt like his turn. He wanted him. He had to make that clear.

"Yeah," Alex said. Michael squeezed his hand.

"Do I get to check out your room?" he asked, smirking all confidently. Alex couldn't help notice another pretty girl walk by them. Michael didn't even look her way. He smiled and nodded.

“Yeah,” Alex said, slowly dragging his thumb over the sensitive skin on Michael’s palm. He delighted in the way his shoulders shook just a little in response, his cheeks flushing as he continued to smile.

“What are we waiting for?”

The entire walk to Alex’s house consisted of him doing his best to hype himself up. He didn’t know why he was even nervous. It didn’t feel like how everyone else who got touched casually by people every day. They had all the time in the world to pick and choose and build themselves up to whatever they wanted. Alex, on the other hand, had only been touched by one person in years. He was eager for more. He wanted it. Why wait?

Alex was more than a little thankful when he saw that his mother wasn't home. He hadn't actually told her about Michael's existence yet considering he himself had only two weeks to process it. Alex had touched him and no one had died. That was something he wanted to keep to himself for just a little while.

He led Michael down to the basement that was his bedroom and tried to get rid of her nerves as he watched Michael acclimate to the space with ease. He fit there, maybe even a little too well. Alex smiled and tilted his head, twisting the tension out of his neck. He was going to do this. It was going to be amazing.

“So, what do you wanna do? Watch a movie?” Michael suggested. He wiggled his eyebrows a little and added, “We could cuddle?”

Alex took a deep, controlled breath and decided he wasn’t going to be embarrassed. This wasn’t something to be embarrassed by. This was normal. He could finally be normal.

“Touch me,” Alex requested. Michael blinked a few times, his smile falling as he took in Alex’s words. He tried not to squirm under his gaze and kept his head held high.

“For real?” Michael asked softly. Alex nodded. Michael didn’t move any closer. “Where?”

“Uh,” he breathed, “Anywhere?”

Michael lightened the mood by letting out a soft little laugh and nodded, taking a step closer. He grabbed Alex’s hands again which wasn’t anything new at this point, but still made him feel like he was going to explode with joy. Someone else’s skin was just... so much.

He watched in fascination as Michael moved his hands up to Alex’s jacket, gently pushing it off his shoulders. His heart was slamming in his chest all while Michael just ran his hands over his bare arms. Then he took a step closer and pressed a kiss into the inside of Alex’s wrist.

“You okay?” Michael asked, eyeing him probably because he’d stopped breathing.

“Yeah,” Alex all but squeaked out. Why was he so nervous? Michael raised an eyebrow and laughed, pressing another kiss to the inside of his elbow.

“You wanna just cuddle? That involves touching. We could watch a movie,” Michael said again, Alex shook his head as he tried to think of a way to make it clear what he actually wanted. He wanted Michael to be his.

“Kiss me,” Alex said. Micahel again eyed him like he was unsure.

“Really?” Michael asked, “Because I don’t want you forcing yourself to do stuff just because I’m the only one you’ve met so far that didn’t die.” Alex had to give him that, he did manage to make it sound less depressing.

He stepped a bit closer, raising his hand to touch Michael’s cheek. He hadn’t actually touched him anywhere other than his hands. It was soft and a little stubbly in some places, but it was warm and Alex gravitated closer. He moved his hand a little and slid it into his hair. They moved closer until their foreheads met in the middle, Alex’s hands on his face and Michael’s on his waist.

“I like you. Not because you can touch me, but because I like you,” Alex told him, “But the fact that you can’t doesn’t hurt your case.”

Michael smiled and pulled him a little closer, their noses bumping and their chests pressing flush together. It was a little like a hug, just closer, and Alex was feeling a little overwhelmed in the best way. He wanted to kiss him.

“I just... I want you,” Alex added, a little softer this time.

Michael’s thumbs slipped beneath his shirt, pressing into the skin of his hips. It was so small, so subtle, but Alex couldn’t help the gasp that fell from his mouth. It was like his entire body was on high alert. Which, it probably was. Michael grinned and rubbed his nose against Alex’s.

“How does it feel?” Alex asked quietly after adjusting to the feeling of his thumbs on his hips.

“Hmm?”

“How does it feel when I touch you?” he wondered, “When I touch people, their heart stops. Even though you’re invincible, it’s still happening to you, right? Like you can still feel it, can’t you?”

“Oh, yeah,” Michael agreed, a small, shy smile overcoming his face like it was something he was embarrassed about despite it being Alex’s fault. “It’s sort of, um, feels like static electricity. Like a little jolt and my heart beats a little faster to overcompensate.”

Alex froze. “Does it hurt?”

“No,” he whispered, “I kinda like it.”

“Oh,” Alex hummed, tilting his head just a little. He wasn’t sure if he should be the one to kiss him or not. He’d never done it before. The closest he got to it was books and movies and shows, watching other people and hoping that if the time came for him he wouldn’t fuck it up. “Kiss me?”

Michael looked at him in that way that he wasn’t really used to being looked at. In fact, he had never been looked at like that. Like he mattered and was special and was chosen. Alex gently traced his jaw with his thumb.

Slowly, slowly, Michael moved forward and pressed a kiss to his lips. It was soft and short, but it still had Alex’s head spinning. His whole body felt hot by that one little kiss. It had him smiling so wide his cheeks hurt.

“You are my new favorite person to kiss,” Michael said. Alex’s eyebrows shot up and he laughed.

“What? How? I didn’t do anything.”

“Yeah, but you’re so cute and reactive,” he teased, giving him a little squeeze that made Alex’s chest feel like it was going to burst.

“That’s because I have no idea what I’m doing,” Alex said. Michael grinned all proudly and slowly started walking them back towards his bed. Alex felt his nerves flare up again.

“I guess I’ll just have to teach you,” he said.

In a pretty swift moment that felt way too rehearsed, Michael had him on his back on the bed with Michael partially on top of him. About a second later, he was kissing him. Alex followed his lead as best he could despite the fact that he wanted to scream from excitement. It was a type of sensory overload he didn’t know was a thing, every inch of his skin just being totally and utterly aware of him.

Michael kissed him with a closed mouth at first and then he parted his lips with a hand staying put on Alex’s chin which just felt like a lot more than it was. He was on his side beside Alex who was on his back, leaning over him just a bit. Then his tongue slipped into Alex’s mouth and the entire mood was shattered by Alex laughing.

“Oh, that’s funny?” Michael asked, smiling down at him as he tried his best to contain himself. But that was a really fucking weird feeling. Not a bad one, just weird.

“Sorry!” Alex laughed, “It’s just, it’s like—Have you ever had oysters?” Michael’s eyes went wide and he erupted into laughter as well.

“Oh my God, I kiss like eating oysters?”

“It’s slimy!”

Michael fell onto his back, body shaking with laughter as he covered his face with his hands. Alex rolled closer to reconnect. He didn’t want the touching to end.

“Sorry,” he said again, trying to be serious as he petted Michael’s chest.

“No, no, it’s fine, I get it,” Michael laughed, moving his hands away, “Do you want me to not do that again?”

“No, do it, I just need to get used to it,” Alex said. Michael licked his lips and shook his head.

“C’mere then.”

Alex pressed himself into Michael’s side, those knots in his stomach tightening and loosening with each random kiss and touch he gave him. He adjusted to the feeling of those kisses and they very quickly stopped being funny. In fact, he couldn’t get enough.

He pressed himself into him, body aching for more. He wanted to be overwhelmed with his skin. Was that so hard to ask?

Michael pushed his hand into Alex’s back before moving it under his shirt. Nerves shot through him and he pulled away for a second, looking at him for a moment. He was gorgeous. He wanted him to be his.

So he sat up and took off his shirt.

“Okay,” Michael breathed, pushing himself up on his elbows. His eyes dragged over Alex’s chest and, as scared as he was, that felt good.

“Touch me,” Alex said again. Michael huffed a laugh, smirking slightly as sat up completely. He reached out and Alex’s mind short-circuited.

Alex knew that he probably looked like an idiot, lips parted and eyes zoned out as he solely focused on the feeling of his hands on his chest. He gulped softly as his callused hand slowly dragged down his side and landed on his hip. The other hand slid over his chest, his thumb grazing over his nipple way too deliberately before moving to his neck and into his hair. Michael leaned closer and kissed his lips and then his cheek, his jaw, his neck.

“You okay?” Michael asked, voice soft and breath hot against Alex’s skin. His eyes were closed, continuously repeating to himself to calm down in his mind. There was no reason to be nervous.

“Yeah, why?” Alex asked.

“Your heart is beating really hard,” he said, head still bowed to kiss on Alex’s shoulder. “Yeah, harder.”

“Sorry,” Alex said, leaning away from just a little. Not too much. He didn’t want to stop being touched.

“No, it’s okay,” Michael said, moving away. Alex made an involuntary noise of protest which just made Michael smile. “Let’s even the score.” Alex watched with attentive eyes as he shed his own shirt. That was way better than movies. “Touch me.”

Alex smiled and shook his head. With shaky hands, he reached out and pressed his palms against his pecs. Michael placed his hands over Alex’s and then surged forward, kissing him senseless. He found himself laid on his back again with Michael fully on top him, bare chest to chest.

It was amazing and terrifying all rolled into one. He kissed him and he kissed him and he kissed him. Alex waited to get used to it, waited to get used to being touched like this, but it didn’t happen. He didn’t know what to make of that. It just kept feeling like his stomach was tying in knots or dropping or being fucking chucked across the room.

And then Michael went for his waistband.

Without even thinking, Alex’s hand snapped to his wrist and mentally cursed himself for it. He waited to be questioned and immediately started preparing his speech to say he wanted it, but it never came. Michael just moved his hands back to the previously defined Okay Zone without question.

“Sorry,” Alex said anyway. That was what got him to pull away.

“Sorry for what?” Michael asked. Alex swallowed hard.

“You can touch me there, didn’t mean to stop you,” he insisted. Michael stared at him for a moment.

“Alex, we don’t have—“

“No, I want to,” Alex clarified, giving a nod. Michael continued to stare at him while Alex gave the most encouraging smile he could muster. Yeah, he was nervous, but that was okay. Everyone was nervous.

“Are you sure?” Michael asked. Alex nodded. “Okay.”

Cautiously, he leaned back in to kiss him. Alex focused on that, focused on the fact that this was the only person he could ever be with. What was the point of being nervous when he was the only one?

They kissed for a few more seconds and Michael’s hand slowly started edging towards his pants again. However, before Alex could even have any type of reaction, he rolled off him and straight off the bed. Alex watched with confused eyes as he stood to his feet.

“You want to because you want to now or you want to because you want to eventually so why not now?” Michael asked. Alex blinked a few times.

“What’s the difference?”

“There’s a big one,” Michael said with a small laugh that had nothing to do with anything being funny. Alex sat up, cold and sort of self-conscious. He’d gotten so used to wearing long sleeves, jackets, gloves, that being shirtless while just simply talking made his nervousness skyrocket. “I don’t want you forcing yourself to do anything, Alex.”

“I want you to like me,” he said honestly. Michael’s shoulders dropped and he smiled.

“I do like you. A lot.”

“Yeah, but do you like me because you have to? Because I know you could have anyone and I can only have you, so—“

“Alex,” Michael said, coming closer again and peeling his hands off his chest, “You’re beautiful and funny and special. Sure, you can be a little prickly and a little stand-offish, but I like you because I like you, not because I feel required to.”

“You stare at girls still,” Alex pointed out. He grimaced a little.

“Yeah, my bad,” he said, squeezing his hands, “Doesn’t mean I don’t like you. We don’t have to rush. We have all the time in the world. It’s not like I’m gonna wake up tomorrow suddenly not invincible.”

Alex’s eyes widened. What if he did wake up the next day suddenly not invincible? Had that ever happened before? Would he accidentally kill him one day thinking it was alright when it wasn’t?

“Hey, no, stop, I see those gears turning,” Michael said, moving to grab his cheeks and force him to make eye contact, “That’s not gonna happen. I will literally stab myself every morning if I have to.”

“You’re my only shot,” Alex admitted, “I don’t wanna mess it up.” Michael smiled sweetly.

“Which is exactly why I don’t wanna fuck it up by moving too fast. We have all the time in the world,” Michael promised, “I want you, Alex.”

Alex stared at him for a moment. He didn’t know how to tell if he was serious or not. He guessed that the only way to actually tell was to wait and see. So, he nodded.

“Now let’s just watch a movie or something, okay?” Michael said. Alex breathed heavily.

“Okay.”

Michael moved to give him a hug, holding him tight. Somehow that was better than half of the stuff that happened that day. He breathed him in and closed his eyes.

“I still wanna kiss you,” he whispered after a moment of hugging. Michael let out a sweet laugh, pressing a kiss to his cheek before basically picking him up and placing them both on the bed.

“We can still do that,” he said, “But we can stop at that too.”

Alex cuddled up to his side after they grabbed his laptop and found something to watch. And they just laid there together for a few hours, laughing and talking and kissing. Nothing more, and yet it was so much more.

Yeah. Maybe Michael did like him.

#malex #malex fic #michael guerin #alex manes #roswell new mexico #my fic #verse: touch me

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tinypurpleparrot · 6 years

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Fanfiction Writer Asks

Fuck it, I’ll do it myself, because I know I can’t count on you nerds to actually ask anything. :p

1) How old were you when you first starting writing fanfiction?

I really don’t know. I’ve been writing creatively since I was like 6. I don’t really remember writing for fandom until Pokémon, but I’ve been in fandom since the original Sailor Moon and Ronin Warriors/Samurai Troopers.

2) What fandoms do you write for and do you have a particular favourite if you write for more than one?

I guess the Yogscast. Except I only really like a few of them, and it sure as shit isn’t the main channel people. I haven’t found a new obsession because I can’t sit still for tv anymore, and I’m a patient gamer/reader. So once I find something I like, it’s probably old and everyone’s already moved on.

3) Do you prefer writing OC’s or reader inserts? Explain your answer.

OCs. I am boring, shy (and thus no fun), and quite good at ruining the moment.

4) What is your favourite genre to write for?

Action/Adventure. Fight scenes. Getting out of dire as fuck situations. Underdogs.

5) If you had to choose a favourite out of all of your multi chaptered stories, which would it be and why?

I have so many… XP I guess a story I wrote in called Royal Infamy. It was literally hundreds of pages long, spanned at least 4 different fandoms, and could’ve been a standalone series if I just changed the names. Unfortunately it’s been lost to the ooooolllllddddd (and I mean 2001) internet. I like to think that maybe it’s on some ancient server, saved by those sorts of people who try to archive the entire internet and have literal exabytes of hoarded data. It was also how I met my SO of 13 years.

6) If you had to delete one of your stories and never speak of it again, which would it be and why?

A Prince of Persia fic. I don’t even like Prince of Persia.

7) When is your preferred time to write?

I never get as much inspiration as when it’s 1am and I’m supposed to be going to bed like a normal person. But never at a normal hour in the evening unless I’m inspired at work and have to rush home before I forget.

8) Where do you take your inspiration from?

It used to be from all the anime I used to watch, now it’s cobbled together from fantasy books and video games.

9) In your xxx fic, what’s your favourite scene that you wrote?

Like erotic fic? Eeeh. I’m so terrible at it that I literally only have one, I’m writing it right now, I’m not finished, and I don’t particularly like it because I keep subconsciously writing away from the part where they hold hands because I’m conflicted and discomforted by the whole thing, to be honest. Like, even when I was adolescent and supposed to be thirsty as teenagers are, I just wasn’t and couldn’t. My ex tried to get me to write something for him, and I still couldn’t do it. *shrug* It doesn’t help that I’ve never been big on shipping. …Those characters sure are standing next to each other, yep.

10) In your xxx fic, why did you decide to end it like that? Did you have an alternative ending in mind?

Hahah… endings. That’s good. (Also see previous question.)

11) Have you ever amended a story due to criticisms you’ve received after posting it?

Not that I can recall, unless you count ‘stop doing that thing’, ‘okay’ *does it more*

12) Who is your favourite character to write for? Why?

Rythian. Fuckin’ edgelord. Just everything about him and his OC is *kisses fingers*.

13) Who is your least favourite character to write for? Why?

Unfortunately Rythian is usually entangled with other people from the Yogscast. :p

14) How did you come up with the title for the xxx?

Current project doesn’t even have a title, that’s how non-committed I am to it (she says even though it’s fast approaching a novelette.)

15) If you write OC’s, how do you decide on their names?

If it’s an OC of a particular universe, there’s probably a naming convention, and I go by many names. If it’s just generic freestanding story, I keysmash and pick through it until it rolls off the tongue.

16) How did you come up with the idea for xxx?

Classic ‘rivals who hide their sexual tension behind their distaste for one another.’

17) Post a line from a WIP that you’re working on.

“I haven’t seen your face since when you first came back from The End. And the … incident with trying to rid you of your curse.” He chuckled. “I’ve actually seen a lot more than your scars.”

18) Do you have any abandoned WIP’s? What made you abandon them?

Like 75% of my work is abandonware. I have ADHD, I get bored, and I usually take so long, the fandom “dies” before I can finish. And the moment is gone.

19) Are there any stories that you’ve written that you’d really love to do a sequel to?

Royal Infamy. And make it mine this time.

20) Are there any stories that you wished you’d ended differently?

Probably Royal Infamy.

21) Tell me about another writer(s) who you admire? What is it about them that you admire?

Ilona Andrews. Her style is exactly what I aim for. …Okay maybe not the monster fucking, but the rest of it. Exciting, tense, a little bit scary.

22) Do you have a story that you look back on and cringe when you reread it?

The Prince of Persia fic. The first draft of the erofic. The weeb crack.

23) Do you prefer listening to music when you’re writing or do you need silence?

Silence. My brain goes 100% towards analyzing music and then I can’t focus on anything else.

24) How do you feel about writing smutty scenes?

Eeeeeeehhhhhh *whines* I don’t wanna…

25) Have you ever cried whilst writing a story?

Nope. I don’t write that kind of pain.

26) Which part of your xxx fic was the hardest to write?

The part where these two people who’ve tried to murder each other could even reasonably be in each other’s presence, let alone fuck. Also eternal hatred for evasive genital description brought on by a broken, puritan society.

27) Do you make a general outline for your stories or do you just go with the flow?

I should start making outlines. My current three projects keep going off the rails.

28) What is something you wished you’d known before you started posting fanfiction?

To go in with no expectations of people ever responding let alone giving feedback to anything. You’re just tossing shit in a hole and for every ton, one flower might grow.

29) Do you have a story that you feel doesn’t get as much love as you’d like?

I did a thing about how Lalnable Hector created Echo, and *crickets*.

30) In contrast to 29 is there a story which gets lots of love which you kinda eye roll at?

Twenty years later, I still get emails about a fic I wrote about Birdy the Mighty (C-tier anime about a dead boy soul-sharing an intergalactic cop’s body.)

31) Send me a fic recommendation and I’ll post it for my followers to see! (The asker is to send the rec not the answerer)

32) Are any of your characters based on real people?

Other than putting slivers of wish fulfillment in, no.

33) What’s the biggest compliment you’ve gotten?

Someone found a fic I wrote in two weeks in an archive over 20 years old and sent me kudos. Like, that shit should’ve been buried. But they found it.

34) What’s the harshest criticism you’ve gotten?

Mary Sue. And you’re goddamn right she was. And I’ll fucking do it again.

35) Do you share your story ideas with anyone else or do you keep them close to your chest?

Nope, not for fear or anything, I just don’t think to share before it’s done because I’ll probably abandon it anyway.

36) Can you give us a spoiler for one of your WIP’s?

You’ll be unsatisfied with the ending.

37) What’s the funniest story you’ve written?

You fucking made me open one of my old Gundam Wing crack fics to check. Now I don’t know because I’m still cringing.

38) If you could collab with any other writer on here, who would it be? (Perhaps this question will inspire some collabs!) If you’re shy, don’t tag the blog, just name it.

*shrug* Like… I haven’t done a collab in *checks calendar* 17 years. I don’t have any live fandoms. I’m not big on trying to meld with other people’s styles.

39) Do you prefer first, second or third person?

Third.

40) Do people know you write fanfiction?

No.

41) What’s your favourite minor character you’ve written?

Can’t think of one. I usually don’t have minor/background characters?

42) Song fic - What made you decide to use the song xxx for xxx.

…Okay, now I seriously can’t tell if xxx means erotic or a particular example. 😐 Anyway, I for some reason lost the ability to link songs to fics/personalities. I just don’t think of any particular person when I hear a song and vice-versa.

43) Has anyone ever guessed the plot twist of one of your fics before you posted it?

That would imply enough people cared.

44) What is the last line you wrote?

Despite the queen pushing him, he couldn’t move even if he wanted to (which he didn’t.)

45) What spurs you on during the writing process?

If I don’t fucking do this it’s going to bother the fuck out of me for weeks, even if I don’t finish. Just get it on paper so it goes away.

46) I really loved your xxx fic. If you were ever to do a sequel, what do you think might happen in it?

More action and intrigue.

47) Here’s a fic title - insert a made up title. What would this story be about?

48) What’s your favourite trope to write?

The antagonist finds the protagonist’s berserk button and realizes that maybe they should not have pushed it.

49) Can you remember the first fic you read? What was it about?

I can’t remember fics I wrote. And shit, that was at least 23 years ago. (She says even though she can perfectly remember her first fantasy novel 30 years ago. (The Gammage Cup))

50) If you could write only angst, fluff or smut for the rest of your writing life, which would it be and why?

Angst. I think. I’ve gotten good feedback from my more serious stuff.

#fanfiction #about #check out my fanfiction tag. :p

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