#and i hate having to ask my coworkers to do the same when they cant even get a grip on the work theyve been doing 10+ years

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

aita for avoiding my husband on purpose, like, all the time? my husband (m36) and i (f34) have been married for almost 10 years (anniversary in a few months). we have 3 kids (m10, f8, f1) and he works full time while i stay at home. even before we got married i didnt really have friends other than him, and i always had a hard time finding excuses to get out of the house. frequently, he gets to hang out with his buddies who he also works with, and ever since we had kids he's always going out and leaving me home alone even when hes not at work just to idk. hang out at bars and pretend we don't exist. well lately ive been making time for myself to go out when the kids are at school (my youngest is pretty well behaved so i just take her with me instead of paying a babysitter) and i had managed to get kinda friendly with some of the wives of my husbands coworkers (theyre all members of the same union, so we see each other at those functions every once in awhile). i thought it was all going well and i was having fun and enjoying getting to be social for once, but about 2 weeks ago, the whole family was invited out for lunch (a picnic type thing) with his buddies from work's families. all was going well and for the most part even the kids were having fun, but then my husband got absolutely fucking trashed for no reason. none of the other guys were acting like that, and we've had conversations about him not doing that sort of thing, but he NEVER listens. he's always acting like this, but usually i dont have to see when its in public. well he embarrassed me so fucking much. he was trying to start fights, messing up his clothes, and wouldn't listen to me at all. just in his own world as always. i should've known because its been a decade of this, but i could have sworn it wasn't this bad before. he wasn't like this when we dated you know? so we got home and i was just. grossed out and annoyed. i slept on the couch and pretty much ever since then, i haven't been talking to him. i got a text from one of the ladies saying that a wednesday hangout thing i had been invited to had been canceled, but i pretty much KNOW 100% that it wasn't, and that they just don't want to be associated with me now. the kids don't really seem bothered by the tension around the house (i think its sort of normal to them since hes frequently not around anyways). i wouldn't be near as annoyed if there wasn't a part of my brain telling me "he did it on purpose". i know that's just how he acts but i could SWEAR its almost like he just doesnt want me to have friends. he doesn't want to hear about it, he just wants me THERE at home, watching the kids and existing solely for his convenience. i used to consider divorce, before we had our youngest. but i haven't had a job since high school, and i couldnt put the burden of asking for help on my sisters. they hate him, but i couldnt ask them for that support. and i dont even know what the kids would think, i cant do that to them. but yesterday, my husband brought it up (cornered me in our room pretty much) and asked why i was ignoring him. what if he really didnt know why? i TOLD him, but its like he forgot or just expects me to be "over it" by now. all i wanted was just this one thing, to HAVE FRIENDS, have that time away from being just "mom" and do what i want. he gets to do that so why cant i? or AT LEAST he could put some more effort into being around and doing things as a family? but i still wonder if im being the asshole, for giving him the cold shoulder for this long. he didnt have a happy childhood or good examples for parents so maybe he just thinks this is normal? i never asked because i assumed he knew it wasn't. and he does seem like, disappointed that i wont come to bed. maybe ive been driving him off and that's why he doesnt like to come home? idk at this point, im at a loss. aita?

#aita #am i the asshole

[stevie-petey]

A blurb from Steve's pov when bug started to pull away?

YESSSSS !!! ANGST !! PAIN !! I LOVE IT !!!

comin right up ;)

“what if the rich kid offered to buy you dinner to repay you?” steve isnt quite sure why hes asking you this or why his hands shake a little as he does so. theres a line somewhere that he knows hes just crossed. hes with nancy, hes in love with her and shes great and perfect but youre looking at steve with those eyes hes always found so lovely and warm and fuck.

why do you look so scared right now?

he fucked up.

“i cant.”

and there it is.

steves stomach drops. “oh, alright.”

you wont look at him. steve desperately wants your eyes back on him, with that glint in them that he secretly hopes is only for him, but they never come.

“you should leave.”

“already?” he hates how small his voice sounds. he hates how with just three words, youve reduced steve to the insecure little boy he swore to bury the second he entered middle school.

steve doesnt remember much else from that day. he knows he tried staying around longer, he knows that your eyes became cold when you told him no, he knows you closed yourself off. it happened within a second, but thats all it took.

he drove home in a daze. the books for nancy were thrown haphazardly across his passenger seat. he wished you were sitting there instead.

steve tries again the next day, figuring maybe you just wanted some space. he can annoying sometimes, he knows that. hes spent his whole life being told hes too much. he was wrong to just assume itd be different with you, but steve doesnt blame you whatsoever.

so when he walks into bookstrordinary and your coworker alex tells him to leave, steve crumbles. he goes back to his car and he cries. its humiliating and embarrassing and he hasnt cried like this since he was a stupid kid, but once he starts he cant stop.

he doesnt know what he did wrong.

summer goes by and steve misses you more than he ever thought he would, more than hes ever missed anyone. he knew losing would hurt, but fuck.

it feels like hes dying.

but you? you dont seem fazed at all.

steve sees you around town during the summer, jonathan always by your side, and when school starts he sees you in the halls and yet you never spare him a glance. it hurts. it really fucking hurts.

nancy eventually notices and asks what happened, but what can steve even tell her? that he spent years watching you from afar, admiring your selflessness and sincerity, and when you finally befriended him he became some hopelessly attached idiot?

no. he knows he cant tell nancy that.

“nothing, just some stuff with my dad.” which isnt a lie, but his stomach still twists with guilt.

she comforts him and steve smiles through it, but it isnt the same.

he misses you every day.

when he spins nancy around one day in the hall while shes talking to you and jonathan about some halloween party, steves weak.

youre staring at him and dressed in a pretty blue sweater that makes your eyes shine even more despite the shitty hallway lighting. you look the same as ever, soft and angelic and steve misses you so much that he risks it.

“i missed you,” he tells nancy.

but the words are for you.

you look away when he says it, and for a horrible second steve thinks hes been caught, but instead you grab jonathans hand and walk away and steve feels defeated.

“it’s been like an hour.” nancy teases him, reminding him of where he is and the role he still has to play.

you may be gone now, but hes still steve harrington. the good boyfriend, the popular rich kid. he cant escape that.

he pulls nancy into a kiss. “tell me about it.”

steve has lost you, but he has to keep playing his part. maybe one day youll see hes still trying, still holding onto his promise to be kind like you are.

he hopes you notice it.

maybe then he can make it up to you. have you with him again.

for now, all he can do is wait.

#ask #anon #m’s writing #come home blurb #set in season 2 ! #m speaks #evil blurb i love u anon #<333

[shock]

I was looking at the comments on that one post i added onto dying at how sketchy people think it is for a young person to be in a field where young people are necessary and vital to bridging the gap between young students and older staff. for change to happen in places of learning you need people who understand the role technology has on students and culture and is able to translate and engage in a way that betters a community 🤣

I don't even have a teaching degree, im a BA social worker and im pursuing a masters degree in education with a concentration in diversity and equity. it is beyond heartbreaking and disgusting that the immediate assumption people who are too online for their own good and are so wrapped up in online community age politics have when I talk about how much I care about and respect my students and children in general, and how being a part of my local community means caring about and seeing how they contribute. I do plenty of stuff with just adults, I have my own gatherings and events and my own social life outside of my students, but I spend a significant amount of my waking hours with them, they are people I have to know how to communicate with and see their perspectives and model for them how to use what they already know and try to do it better.

My position is mobile. I go into a lot of classes, im in the hallways, im in detention spaces, im in the lunch rooms, i run groups, i have students in my office. I tell yo mama jokes with kids to model how a good joke should disarm and add joy, not be told to our students with dead mothers to hurt them, and because it's fun. I play basketball with them to model how an adult can be worse than they are at something and not make it a power struggle, and because its fun. I walk the mile with them if they're having a rough day to support them, to show them its possible, and because its fun. I bring in my own rock collection to give them an experience, to teach them responsibility, and because its fun. I sit in classes for lectures and raise my hand to ask questions to model behavior, and because it's fun to learn. I spend 9 hours a day with them, why should I spend that not engaging with them as fully as I can? They have things to teach me, im always learning, that's how a community works. Everyone teaches everyone.

I go to the grocery store and am excited to see my kids and their families. I have relationships with parents, community leaders (both children and adults, because yes, children can be community leaders and they need adults to help them learn to do well and do safely what they're passionate about), and a lot of my coworkers are the age where they have their own children who come over to my house, from the youngest being an 8 month old baby, all the way up to 18 who needs to see adults closer to her age being happy and successful, not even including the adult children of my colleagues. I'm the same age as many of them.

I live in a community and I worked hard to get here. Young people work in communities and it's not unusual. I have many coworkers who are 20-22, and they're great teachers with great mentors.

It's not weirdly young, it's not unusual to play games with and be involved with the lives of my students while also setting appropriate boundaries, and comments like this so often scream "I hate kids/don't want to be around kids/don't see kids as people and cant imagine why anyone would without a sick ulterior motive" more than they scream "I want to protect kids". If you want to live in a community that is healthy, productive, vibrant, ever-growing, and healing, how can you do that if you don't put time and energy into the future of your community? I spend a significant amount of time protecting kids from abuse, helping them process abuse, helping them heal from trauma, and teaching them how to know their worth and I help them have a voice the times a teacher DOES treat them unfairly. I am their voice at staff meetings because they can't be there.

Kids used to annoy me, scare me, freak me out, and I never wanted to interact with them. For me, healing that mindset involved examining my trauma on my own, and understanding that all of that hatred came from jealousy at the ability to have a normal childhood and a fear that I would hurt kids around me by existing near them because of how much my mother hurt me so deeply. I thought I could never be a parent because I would hurt the way she hurt me. I thought I would ruin joy and love. I healed that hurt, saw the positive impacts I made, and I don't need to feel jealous when childhood actually doesn't end when you are able to be invited into the games they play, have inside jokes, get pranked, prank the kids, prank staff, and experience it authentically. The work is hard and you have to learn when to be serious and when to speak their language, but it's not an either/or. It's both. Same goes for older people, if you care about community you should learn to engage with people who arent your own age.

Change isn't done by someone who wakes up one day at 30 and decides to do that, it starts by telling kids that they matter and that there are things about being a kid that are special and important for everyone so that they don't lose that and become jaded, miserable adults who feel like they have nothing to live for like I was for too long.

#yes this is okay to reblog

[wjsns]

and u know what im ready to make my full statement on MENG MEI QI too. the situation is so crazy to me, basically now in 2023 some ujung wont even type out her name because 1. cheating scandal (WHERE SHE WAS THE 3RD PARTY, WASNT EVEN THE PERSON TO CHEAT ON SOMEONE) and 2. doesnt mention wjsn ever and to me that is literally HILARIOUS like, god its just soooo funny to watch everyone pile in with the loudest most popular opinion and not do personal critical thinking, or hey, maybe they did and what mmq did really WAS too much for them to still support her but in that case i raise an eyebrow because idk… a lottt of yall are the same people who will get online and write about loving evil women and letting girls be shitty etc etc and she literally gives you what you asked for on a silver PLATTER, like doing nothing cancellable just giving us a good wholesome woman being evil and selfish and obsessed w herself and everyone turns on her!!!! sorry shes not fucking chuu lmao!? (ilu chuu no hate but there is space for good AND evil girls in my heart😇) im sorry im SO unbothered by her being the other woman in a cheating scandal like i cant imagine something mattering less to me and it actually made me super happy to confirm she fucks even tho the guy was ugly😇 but i said kinda most of this already so SECOND OF ALL about her not mentioning wjsn and shit… another thing i literally have NO problem with?? again, like…… no one was more distraught than me at what happened to ot13 but these are REAL PEOOLEEEEEEEEEE?!????!??? i’ve said this before too but i think its worth mentioning, i think my perspective on WJSN has always been a certain way because i grew up playing soccer on a team of the same ~18 girls for over 8 years and im very familiar with, idk, “team dynamics” in groups of girls growing up together? so i understand what its like to be in a larger group dedicated towards this ultimate, performance based goal together and while not everyone out of those 18 girls is one-to-one best friends and lots of people have pretty significant differences, none of that matters “on the field” or when you’re “working”, and its actually lowkey beautiful hiw such different people can unite together to make their dream happen AND develop really long lasting strong relationships w each other when they would otherwise might not have. so ive never had illusions that wjsn as a group has this monolithic motivator or reason for being in wjsn or being an idol, they are all super different personalities and have different interest areas like acting, musicals, song production, MCing etc! so its really impossible for me to feel upset or bothered in any way when i hear complaints about mmq’s behavior in this area because im like ? she obviously has/had this solo career (that i have to believe she had way more control and stylistic direction over than with wjsn) in her home country where she gets to embrace her personal style and concepts instead of matching wjsns, shes clearly separating from that past image and going in a different direction w her career! it does make me bummed that shes not getting 13 stars tattooed like xiao did but again what am i gonna do, be mad that this artist who i really care abt as a person is going off on their own path and direction? cujung is a ROCK of this fanbase its not like a mmq wjsn mention is going to create millions more ujung and album sales? just never added up to me, IM not gonna feel some type of way about it because stan twit fucking tells me to, like how it feels a lot of ujungs react to everything! that one thing going around that was like “wjsn are coworkers not friends” was sooooo funny for me to watch ujung actually get mad about because like,,, they ARE coworkers? AND FRIENDS?! there are 13 of them? each person has a unique individual and complex relationship with each other person? ah idk why i even bother with these essays the avg kpop stans iq is literally 65 yall love being spoonfed parasocial relationships simulated for ur consumption so much u completely block out ​the fact they are real people

#and a lot of people who have the most to say about it like literally dont go outside and have lives and group activities to be a part of so #sorry if im being haterish but like they started it #getting mad at what mmq says and doesnt say about her old job and who she fucks is giving incel its giving i like to control women #giving the type of people who freak out and kts over their idol reading a feminist book or dating someone #sorry women are autonomous beings not morally perfect objects u can glorifyingly put on a pedestal and tear down just as maliciously when #something they did doesnt add up to this unrealistic un-human image u created of them #i honestly think some of u get more out of tearing at and hating someone than u did supporting them its like fun for u to sit behind a scree #and judge their lives meanwhile havent washed ur greasy ass hair in days and when was the last time u called ur grandmother? what the longes #lasting friendship you’ve ever been able to maintain? huh??? #damn i cant find out how to do a read more on mobile sorryyyyyyyyyy #long post #ANYWAYS *pulls out comfort photos of teen mmq smoking cigs*

[sweetandmeat]

whole little story i wrote in my friend’s dms between bob and miles while half asleep vv 

how bob and miles meet: bob sees miles as the next victim of his general escapades of being a cannibal, but when infodumping to miles he corrects him actually, and bob gets curious about what he knows so what Was a near deadly scenario turns into a surprisingly pleasant conversation, bob reclining onto a wall while miles recomposes himself while listing off anatomy facts to a very fascinated bob.

they part ways, and only find eachother again at random intervals around the town later on. the town isnt too big, so it's not to hard to crash into someone you may know, even if its a serial killer outside of his usual attire, recognized by voice alone.

they get to talking, get to know eachother, and bob invites miles to the decrepit isolated SHITTY apartments he lives in and miles is like dude. Nah. NAH. rents getting harsh for me do you maybe? want to move in? the company would be nice. plus you get anatomy facts all day everyday. HOWEVER, chill out a little with the killing. i see a new vody in the newspapers almost every fuckin day dude!

so they now live together and dont Actually talk that much. bob does his own thing whereas being an intern in a hospital is Long hours. he comes home more and more worn out constantly. one week it is SO BAD he gets maybe 10 whole hours of sleep in three days and is having THE WORST constant mental breakdown in his life.

bob, NOT one to usually ask about the mental state of others is even pretty worried. dude barely talks anymore just sleeps and goes to work so hes like awh shit ok. Whats going on. and miles is at his wits end and EXPLODES in all his pent up fear and anger. job is considering kicking him out since he cant keep up with the same resilience as the other interns and residency is almost at his doorstep but hes Struggling to assist and nearly fucked up in the OR and hes SOOOO tired. he can't solve an issue to a patient they've opened up with a pulmonary issue that everyone is stumped with and he's got the feeling that if he gets taken off the care list for this patient he's going to be out of a job soon or WORSE. he's paranoid about being blacklisting from the medical field (but that's pure paranoia talking)

bob just kinda is at a loss. he doesnt really kniw how to soothe these things super well other than like a hug or cuddling but when it comes to Words or other actions he falls short. so he asks what he could possibly do. and miles is like "UGH i dunno man  i just fucking WISH i could just stare at some fuckin lungs to try and figure iut what i can do for this patient. cause if not im a goner, and you wouldve wasted your time Not eating me four months ago." and bobs like oh. I Can Do That

next day miles comes home to a whole pair of lungs on the dinner table NOT PRESERVED AT ALL stinking up the place. he hates it but its not Much worse than the usual smell of an OR so after the initial "WHAT THE FUCK" moment he looks over to an eager (but also oddly nervous) looking bob and gets to work dissecting the lungs to figure his predicament out.

it helps! A LOT! he actually thinks he has a solid course of action and fir the first time in about a month he gets a SOMEWHAT ok amt of sleep in preparation to pitch his idea to his residents

it goes well, and now he's feeling a little better. but now hes got his next case, and bobs on it again to retrieve another organ. rinse and repeat! suddenly miles is no longer struggling to keep up with his other interns and hes doing Good (to the surpriseof all of his coworkers and Annoyance of a few shitheads). it raises a few eyebrows but they ultimately just see it as a "fuck. now this guys a contender for residency Too. ugh w/e."

AND THEN. bob gets arrested. he isnt seen for a few years, and miles is So worried for a good year before his saddness kinda fades into the background.  he knows what happened but hes just, Sad. and he kinda saw it coming. but no tracks led back to him, which was surprising since bob seemed very Ride Or Die about everything.

SO. miles continues on. life as usual, he's finally a resident he's doing well he's got a house for himself now though it's still just him in it. and them the events of tender treats happens. and theres a Corpse knocking on his front door. a LITERAL corpse. bullet wounds, tire tracks, severe burns and all and miles is like WHAT THE FUCK!!!

bob just kinda hobbles in, and lays down on the couch. miles FRANTICALLY fishing out his firstaid kit and it stiching uo everything and putting ointment pretty much Everywhere he can and wrapping wounds the WHOLE nine yards. hes freaking out about the bullet wounds and while fishing it out bob is just like Hissing in rage about how his night went. tensions are high and miles keeps SCOLDING the guy until he snaps and they start arguing BUT not for long

its out of worry. and miles bites back i "THATS IT! i know all aggression comes from fear so WHAT ARE YOU SCARED OF?!" and bob shouts back that hes TERRIFIED of being forgotten. he doesnt care HOW he's remembered he was just horrified and scared of being forgotten by the town. and ESPECIALLY scared of being forgotten by miles. everything falls silent, and after miles double and triple checks bobs wounds they fall asleep together on that couch

next day they catch up! bob doesnt have much to say, he just spent all his time in solitary confinement, what he Does say is what he was up to when they lived together that first time. he got tangled in the cults shenanigans, and was offered the amulet. he was essentially being used as a distractor for the cult, all eyes would be on the cannibal killer running amok so no one would pay attention to the far more calculated and discreet actions of the cult. he got to do what he wabted, they got to do what they wanted. the amulet just insured that hed be able to do it for Far longer, not having to worry abour death as much. he became NEAR impossible. which also meant he didnt actually follow miles' rule of "dont start shit as often." he earned a smack on the head when recounting that one

the amulet, THOUGH it got damaged, insured he stayed alive even after that second encounter with the police in tender treats, but its healing properties were gone, so he tanked all the attacks and Felt it all. hence the corpse at miles' doorstep.

miles forces him to lay low at his place and NO MORE KILLING. (bob doesnt listen to that last one really, but his attacks are incredibly sparse now) and they have hot gay sex now yippee end of story (for now)

#musing.txt #r: 🔪

[ahnsael]

Oh, man.

A coworker just got engaged to someone who is NOT right for her (she has been married once before, and he was also NOT a good guy, but she had two or maybe three kids with him while married). And I can’t say a thing. I’m a manager, and she’s line staff, and it’s not my position to manage her social life. But she goes to the bathroom, and he constantly texts/calls her. Maybe he thinks it’s romantic, but to me it comes across as creepy that he can’t let her take a dump without him being involved. But again, this is her call, not mine. If she asks for help, I will be there for her, but it’s like someone with a gambling problem -- I CANNOT go up to someone and hand them a “problem gambling” pamphlet, even if I see that they are destroying their lives with their gambling. That’s not me. it’s company policy (we had a guy go to an ATM more times than I could count last night, and he was there gambling when I got there, and was still there over 8 hours later when I left -- but that’s on him). If he ASKS for help, I can give him the pamphlet, or he can take one on his own (we have them on all three ATMs), but even though he is good for our bottom line, I can’t go up to him and say “I think you have a problem.”

And as much as I care for this employee as a person, it boils down to the same thing. I cant tell her “this guy is a loser” (I’ve known him about as long as she has) -- it’s on her to make that decision on her own. And as a manager, even if I think this is true, it’s not my place to get into their personal relationship. When I hired in, she was married. To a guy who once threatened to get me fired because I cut off a friend of his who was CLEARLY intoxicated. He said he was going to call our HR person and tell them that I was drunk. And I knew he had her number.  I invited him to do so. He decided not to (I was sober -- I do drink, but I don’t drink before/during work; I once got a manager fired for doing so as short-staffed as we are on graveyard). But for her to be engaged to THIS GUY? She could do so much better. And I’m not saying that “better” is me, because that just could not happen (and one of her kids already hates me). But THIS GUY? I’m questioning her judgement. I’m not going to let it affect my judgment of her job performance, because this isn’t related to that but wow. It does make me wonder what she’s thinking, and whether HE is ready to take on her kids.

[blackvail22]

she is so disgusting

the more i think abt the things my mom has done the more concerned i get

like

the weird questions creepy men would ask, or things weird men do, she asks/does

and i guess i didnt see it until recently

but it makes me feel so sick.

and i cant talk abt it w anyone because its tmi like REAAAALLLYY tmi and it makes me feel gross

i guess the only person i could talk abt it w is my sister????

and maybe my counselor if im vague enough?

but

the fact that she would say those things, touches me randomly (even in the forbidden places), gets pissed off when i tell her to stop and that i dont want to be touched so she does it again?

like

oh my god

im so disgusted rn genuinely

im starting to think my parents were/are really that bad but were good at "hiding" it aka i was oblivious.

because i should not be able to say that i experienced those things

theres no way thats normal

actually, no.

its not normal, and i shouldnt be able to say that my parents did that

this actually makes me want to scream because i dont have counseling tmrw because i was scheduled at work during ny appointment. i shouldve just compromised w my boss because i cant do this man

"i used to joke abt how much i hated my mom until i was about 33. she wasnt a bad mom, she just did things a normal mom should, like look out for me"

well, coworker, if i told you all of the things my mom has said and done to me, you would realize that our situations are NOT the same

my mom is a bad mom... thats our difference

my mom told me that she didnt like me, told me she wanted me to die, has * * *, asked me a question no one should be asked unless by an intimate partner. my mom blames me for her life being bad. she told me that out of all of her children, im her least favorite, thats including my sister, who disowned her.

my mom tries to control me, and because im trying to fight back, her world is crumbling. im not the naive kid i used to be.

i just wanted a normal, good life.

i will never have a normal one, but i can try to have a good one... and it doesnt start until im away from her

[withadreamofyou]

every few nights the pain in my feet gets worse whenever i stand in front of my mom as she screams at me while sitting down. my eyes sting with welled up tears while she has a blank expression with black hallow eyes. sometimes i don’t even think shes human. she clenches her jaw and screams, “did you not see the way other parents looked at you? when you burst out laughing. do you not know how much shame it brought me?”

i yell back, trying to defend myself. all that comes out is heavy, heaving breaths. i hate the way my voice cracks, how childish it makes me. all im met with is the excuse she uses every night, “i did not raise you like this.” but she never raised me? for as long as i remembered she was gone for work. in our arguments she uses me asking for help against me. im only 15 and have to fill out my own medical paperwork, i dont know how. i ask for help and she helps me. i ask for help on my math homework and she says, “i will gladly help you.” i tell her about my day, drama in school, my grades i push myself to get, the classes i force myself to take. i share the food i make with her, i make her favorites, i make extra rice for us. all of this communication i use to connect with her. all i am met with is, “i appreciate you talking about your day with me asking me for help. but at the same time is that all you see me for? you never want me in your life. you don’t appreciate the things i do for you.”

she treats my sister and i like coworkers rather than her own children. she threatens to throw notebooks, plates, remotes, pens, pencils, anything she’s holding at us just so we can act correctly. while we’re crying, our faces turning a ugly red, and our eyes squinting so much you think we cant see she has a blank expression. the only time she ever doesn’t is when her lips press together in a hard line and when she clenches her teeth before screaming we ruined her life.

she gets mad at me for not talking but when i do it’s considered talking back. she gets upset when i make my eyes avoid her but when i stare too much at her she gets even more upset. she tells me my words are like knives to the back but then gets mad when i try to explain how i feel around her. everyday i dread coming home, everyday i walk on eggshells around her and my step father. everyday i hear her scream at her clients the same way she screams at us.

my step dad tells me that this is just another storm to pass, that she will return to normal. after the days of silent treatment, glares, and head shakes of disapproval she will act like a normal mother. but she never will be another mother, another storm will come, more mental cuts will bleed, more tears will be shed. he doesn’t even know what it is like to be constantly screamed at, to walk on eggshells constantly, to not have people come to your rescue after she screams at you for three hours without getting tired. he will never understand the wrath of my mother, who i am supposed to love and trust.

i just want a normal mother. a normal family.

#vent post #mom issues #dad issues #asian american #emotional abuse #verbal abuse

[the-silent-hashira]

SPIDER WEB, for the ask game?

SPIDER WEB - How intertwined would you say you and your partners lives are?

that depends! i know some of them are far more attached than others.

Cross? Cross could go weeks without talking to me and then send me a 10 page letter about everything hes been doing and seeing, maybe a few little pictures here and there. he probably wouldnt talk about me much, and i dont care about what he does out there because i know that he loves me. we do work for the same organization, but our relationship isnt something many know about.

Clef probably could go a few days, he would talk about me occasionally but if you pointed out how much he did it he would make an effort to not talk about me as much. he likes being private, unless hes actually with me. again, work together, but some people very much notice his attachment to me.

GHB... he talks about me a lot, he likes getting my advice on things, and often will make the excuse of 'lemme ask my matesprit- he says no.' without messaging me at all. he values my opinions and wants me involved in the things hes doing. cant really go without working for the Highblood when youre a purple, and he is obvious, so everyone knows. (i like fucking with people though by making it a jumpscare)

Lucifer couldn't go a few hours without feeling sad that im not there. he will probably skip or cut meetings short if he misses me too much, he'll ask me for advice on many things and will often beg me to join him for things. if you didnt know i was married to him, you are either under a rock, new here, or just an idiot.

I feel like nobody would know Ozma even has a partner, full separation from his public life and i respect that as long as he still cares about me.

Bob is like Lucifer, hes a lost puppy and since i share him with my girlfriend if one of us wasnt around he could deal, but he starts getting sad after a while. plus, without me hes basically stuck in the house or he might genuinely get arrested and/or kill someone and get caught. nobody would really know about us and Bob, but thats because we do that on purpose. he is a wanted murderer after all.

Wally would love to involve me in anything, but i honestly like it when he pays more attention to my girlfriend since we share him too. everyone knows, its very clear.

Ozzie and Fizz are up. my. ass. if they get the chance it is puppy dog eyes. please pay me attentions. would talk about me if given the chance and will sometimes make situations where they can. kinda funny that most of my Hazbin/Helluva f/os are just straight up dependent on me most of the time lmao.

recently started shipping with Valentino, who would probably never involve me with work but likes being seen with me. its good for publicity, and he kinda values my opinions because i dont take his shit and can throw back just as much as he gives me. could be mistaken for coworkers or just fwb.

Diavolo and Satan... Diavolo would talk about me pretty frequently im sure, he gets excited when people ask him about any relationships he might have, and likes asking me what i think and being seen with me.

Satan and i like doing things together, and admittedly i really like doing silly things like going to plays and pretending to be in a mystery novel sometimes.

with Diavolo they would probably know because he would just say 'did you know my girlfriend, Uriel, says-' and Satan doesnt really talk about me but thats because he wants me to himself(and begrudgingly shares with Diavolo)

and recently i decided id say something about it, but i also ship with Eda, Lilith, and Belos/Philip from The Owl House. of which im not sure yet, but i know that none of them would necessarily talk about me much since my s/i with them is a fucking recluse that also hates being talked about in general so thats more a boundary on my side. my Belos/Philip is also way different from canon so 😅

wow this became long but this question interested me and i hadnt really thought about my impact on some of their lives honestly.

#📬 an offering of blood || ask/submission #🍎 apple of my eye || lucifer #🤡 capriciously yours | ghb #🌈 my favorite neighbor! || wally #💗 ringleader of my heart || fizz #❤️‍🔥 house of love || asmodeus #👑 my king || diavolo #💢 catboy bookworm || satan #🌹womanizing bastard | cross #🎵 weird ways to say i love you || clef #⏳ a fairytale romance || ozma #🔪 put me on the grill | bobby #i dont have tags for eda lilith or belos but thats because im kinda shy and havent figured everything out with them #same with Val #and id talk about obey me Lucifer as i romo ship with him but fuck that guy /lhj #anyway he would deny he even knows me so like lmao

[moveslikejaggeria]

i hope the porn bots that follow me enjoy my little self indulgent tirades

i deactivated my instagram accounts the same night i made my last post. i deleted the discord app. why, you might ask yourself, and the answer is just…selfishness i guess. i got tired of the opportunity of people reaching out to me and just, not, so i closed the door entirely. makes it easier that way.

originally i thought i was going to die so returning didnt matter but here i am now, two weeks(-ish) later, still alive. then i thought i’ll watch avatar, and then i’ll reopen the account. except life really isnt that kind.

one of my coworkers—my ultimate favorite—asked me if i had gotten a mole on my face tested. i was confused, because i monitor my moles pretty closely; theyre scary and skin cancer runs in my family. i went home and spent the rest of the day taking pictures and looking in the mirror and poking and prodding and ultimately i was scared. its in my hairline, so i couldnt see it too well. i knew it was there but since i was relying solely on the sense of touch, it didnt seem that bad. its huge. and dark. and also white in some places. not good signs.

i dont like moles. in fact, i hate them. i hate what they represent, how they scare me, and how i cant just pick em off. i had one removed for cosmetic reasons way way back (it returned prepre cancerous, so nothing to worry about, but…not Great) but of course theyve returned with a vengeance and completely covered my body. luckily i got in with a dermatologist so theyll take a look at it and maybe take some of it for testing and hopefully they’ll look at the rest of my body and then look me in the eyes and say “you have nothing to worry about. you are healthy” but like that’ll help calm any nerves.

speaking of cancer, my mom has been updating me on my grandfather since she casually announced he has prostate cancer. i know different people deal with these things in different ways but it just feels so jarring to go from “how are you” to “oh just by the way, theyre testing to see if the cancer spread to his bones” or “we’re getting the whole family together next week bc we dont know if we’ll ever get to truly be together ever again so you should request off work on those days”. im worried about him. im (selfishly worried ~i~ have cancer)

so i delayed my return to social media even though i finished avatar bc i just dont know if i can go out on internet public and pretend that everything is okay. nothing has been okay for three years. im dealing with financial independence from my parents, my rapidly declining health, the loneliness of being away from my friends at school, and crushing mental illness. my mom keeps saying she did it—everyone had to go through this at some point: multiple minimum wage jobs and the stress of school, but she (and a lot of others) didnt have to deal with eating disorders. with a body that doesn’t cooperate. stress excema, stress vomiting, AND stress headaches/migraines.

have i talked about how much monkey pox scares me? im constantly itchy (dry skin) and my brain goes: you have monkey pox. you have it. every pimple is dissected and pinched until im like “okay. fine”. ive stopped wearing my mask at work and honestly its made me give up on covid. props to me for holding out for two plus years, but i cant do it anymore. not when absolutely no one cares. theres a new disease in town, covid, move out the way.

[happiiest]

😔

#am i ever gonna be able to break down freely and just. break #or am i just gonna spend the rest of my life propping myself up on one arm always supporting myself #like. when is it gonna get to the point where i cant support myself at all #am i going to reach that point? i see alot of people telling their stories about depression and how they were husks #they couldnt do anything besides barely eating. i....i dont want to end up there #but at the same time it sounds so.....idk......not desireable #but like. maybe instinctual. its what i feel like i should be doing. but no i get up and flail around in my bed for an hour and a half. #then i will get up and go to work. and come back. with 4 fucking hours to myself #make that two cuz i gotta do mandatory stuff like bathing and eating and chores #fam. 2? youre telling me i get 2? two? hours a day to do what i WANT to do. FUCK that. this is my second day back to work. and i HATE it #i go there. my boss asks me if im enthusiastic to be back. i take a solid 4 seconds to respond with a weak (yup!) #no im not!!! i was making so much progress by myself learning how to eat healthier. abd i was gonna take the next step and #start excersizing regularly. but now thats interupted by 11 hours of my day dedicated to preparing to be at work and being at work #and i get the scraps of my day at the end. and i cant even enjoy them completely cuz im so worn out from work #man fuck work. its only two days in and im so disgusted and exhausted by it #idk what i want but work isnt it. i wanna go back to taking my baby steps to getting better hopefully #also idk if my coworker was pulling my chain but he said people been getting 600 a month. or was it weekly. #where my money at i need that so bad #idk. idk!! i just want to collapse and not be responsible for anything #i dont wanna have to be somewhere. and have to perform and pretend im okay when im not. my boss asked me if im okay. im not! #but can i expect him to stop and listen to me while i pour out all my troubles? he just asked me in passing hes already on his way to #something else. would he even understand? or care?? not likely. some person has been chilling outside the hotel for a while. homless girl #who looks like a boy. probably trans but they dont know that. he called the cops to arrest them. #said must be a smelly ride as they drove off. i couldnt look the person in the eyes. i was told to watch them to keep an eye on them #i couldnt even look at them. im not paid enough to do that. how could you let them sit outside in the heat with spare rooms available #im done talking now. i dont wanna think about it anymore right now #i dont wanna think about anything right now

[just-emilia]

thought about my future for two seconds (bc if i really do end up graduating in april then what. WHAT?!) and now I feel super off-kilter weird bad

#what does that even mean #like not depressed but its the same feeling when i graduated school five years ago #like how can it be five years later and i still dont know what to do with my life #i still have no ambitions no deeper interests no dreams #just nothing #i cant keep doing my current work i hate it there #last week i saw most of my coworkers hang out together after work without asking if i wanted to join #which is fine i guess since they all know each other longer and are kinda close and i would probs just ma #just be an uncomfortable addition and all but its still kinda lonely #like i dont blame them or am angry but i want what they have #so anyway i cant keep doing a job that even six months later wants to make me run away when a customer talks to me #im so- anxious all the time there also i just know my body wont take it lol #ive never been this sick this often as in these past months #so genuinely what am i gonna do #i dont want to keep living where i am thats the one thing i know for sure #i want to leave everything behind so bad (except my mom but.) #kinda just want to disappear for good #tp

[ilyzuko]

let me be annoying frustrated and grammatically incorrect in the tags

#so i requested a holiday at work saturday night like 3 weeks ago cause i wanted to be able to wake up early on sunday cause it's my birthday #and obviously got ignored even though there were people available and not working :) #the rota got posted and i hate asking for a cover but like 3 people asked and got a night off my fault i know blabla #anyways i accepted the fact im gonna stop being a teen while some woman in her mid thirties throws herself at me for lemonade being flat or #something. thats just how it is sometimes. BUT today my manager posted the exact bar i was meant to be on ia gonna be closed on saturday so #im getting a day of. YET before i even managed to read this this dude thats been working there for like a month and asking for a cover ever #week texts me saying hi cover me im in a different town on saturday like??? how did u just set this up over the course of the past 3 minute #you were meant to be working u idiot like...anyways i fucking hate myself cause i said fine and now im gonna have to come in. #i HATE that im literally the only one there that's respecting the fact that it's making people uncomfortable when u ask for covers for some #dumbass reasons like...i understand emergencies and so on but it's the same dude that comes up to me being like 'take my shift tomorrow i #just cant be bothered haha' while hes supposed to do it full time ( which is not even properly possible cause u cant get that many hours #from the shifts available) and im in at uni at 9 most days of the week so like finishing up after 4am is not always ideal lmao #anyways i know im being stupid and childish and petty but im just sad cause i was the one whos asked for this shift off first #and i did it in a way youre actually supposed to do it yet everyone got a pass over me #ALSO some dude that i ignored once when he asked me for a cover cause i had a broken toe lmao heart reacted the message thats saying im c #im covering* someone like fuck offfff god stop putting your coworkers in uncomfortable situations if u cant work most of the days mark them #as unavailable...oki im finished yes my personality is ugly

[corvase]

i don’t really know you or care about you to lovers dump because it is underrated as hell

here’s to my second favorite trope after enemies to lovers… feel free to use anything here! :)

— how they’re forced to interact:

they’re paired up for a project and need to make a list of places to go/things to do and complete them as friends

character b was moved to character a’s division today and their boss told them to help character b get settled for the next couple months assuming they knew them because apparently they’ve lead a meeting together before sorry they have no clue what they’re doing

they’re both the strongest workers in their city and our firms/workplaces are combining so we have to partner up… now our why is it everyone has heard about us but we’ve interacted

they work in the same workplace and character a knows b exists but just doesn’t care because their jobs don’t require them to have to interact but now b just asked a to date them to scare off a fellow coworker at the upcoming gala and a kinda need their parents off their back so hey good looking

a has lived in the same apartment for the last five years and b owns the complex so they have the biggest apartment and oh yeah someone came and trashed a’s for whatever reason so b offers to let a live with them indefinitely until they get everything sorted

they’ve been neighbours for three years and character b’s house is the biggest acreage on their little street but the last storm ruined a’s house and soooo a is like i know this is too much to ask but you have the complete opposite schedule than i do so can i move in part time

can u tell i love workplace romances? good.

— complications:

one is already dating someone else (OBVIOUSLY not paired with the fake dating plot)

they’re BOTH dating someone else (again!!!!)

one is being transferred (school, department, work)

one is moving from the apartment complex

one hates the city and is moving to a different country

one is being promoted

one is dying

one is there on vacation

one is moving cities at the end of the month

one is not looking for a relationship at all

— tips:

make sure they DO know but just don’t care about each other. until the romance starts sparking, the other person should be the last thing on their mind. they should literally have to rack their brain to remember who the hell that is and what their association is with them, esp because it’s new.

this also is different from strangers to lovers— yes, they’re strangers too, but they’ve been in the same vicinity for years and just didn’t care enough to approach each other.

treat them like you’d treat anyone you don’t know. human beings are judgy; have one do something the other one dislikes and then have them mention it in passing, not in a rude way but in a “damn, i hate when people do that. anyway” way. have them notice something and be like oh look at that but forget about it later. it’s just really lukewarm all around, esp at the start.

— lastly… dialogue prompts:

“wait THAT’S him?” “yes, that’s him. you know that.”

“have we met before?” “um… yes? you were… err, at that one meeting…” “yes! yeah! um! your name is…?”

“sorry… i’m so sorry, but… remind me how long you’ve been working here?”

“yeah, and [name] is doing the presentation this time.” “who is that?” “guy over there? longish hair and glasses? got you this job?” “oh!!!!! oh oh oh i know him.” “yeah… you should.”

“hey.” “… hello? sorry, have we properly met?” “to be honest, i was going to ask you the same thing.”

“am i just ignorant or did you also never really hear about me?” “i was genuinely lost for a second. thought you were new.” “okay, good.”

“i cant believe i never knew you before [day].”

“if i told you everything i said was fake i’d be lying.”

“can i be honest?” “always.” “i knew you, that first day. i knew everything. i was just too scared to approach you, or anyone in our division.”

“can you imagine what we’d do if we never talked that day?” “probably we still wouldn’t have talked until now.”

“i can’t believe i never knew you, until then. you’re probably the best thing that’s happened to me.” “stop.” “i’m serious.”

“yeah and i should’ve known. you didn’t even care about me to begin with.” “you didn’t care either! we both didn’t know each other!” “yeah, but the difference between us is that this was never a joke to me. it never was. it was more.”

#writing romance #romance tips #romance prompts #prompts #otp prompts #tips #writblr #writeblr #romance #strangers to lovers #don’t know don’t care to lovers bc ITS WHAT WE NEED!!! #love this trope so damn much #strangers to lovers prompts #sentence starters #did what i had to do #indifferent strangers to lovers

[ashthemadwriter-archived]

Hello! I wonder if you can do headcanons of Atsushi in a relationship with a sweet and friendly reader with a flirty side? They also love dressing up and can be really weird/inappropriate/quirky at times. Sometimes melodramatic and stubborn too but with a heart of gold. Thank you so much if you decide to do this. 🌹✨

Atsushi with a Melodramatic s/o

Fandom:Bungou Stray Dogs

Pairings:Atsushi x fem!Reader

Genre:Fluff

Format:HeadCanons

Warnings:None

A/n: i gotta say,we have so many Atsushi stans here XD ! i mean most of my requests are for Atsushi.it kinda gets hard cause i have to come up with new stuff each time,but thats alright. here you go love :)

Poor Atsushi.everyone around him is all weird,but he still cant get used to it.and its the same for you.

i think your personality really fits an Agent who works in the ADA,so lets say you are one.

so you joined the ADA a few month after Atsushi.the first time you met him,Dazai tried to flirt with you which was something normal;but what made Atsushi shocked was that you told Dazai "im not a big fan of double suicides,but if i was gonna do one,it would be with this handsome kitty cat here"

Dazai laughed at Atsushis reaction,which was blushing and telling you "um...w-what? me?"

you find him really cute,strong and charming and you cant believe how much he looks down on himself.i mean c'mon! the guy has saved yokohama (and the whole world in some cases) several times and still hates himself.

youre really weird to him,but not in a bad way.youre an unpredictable,strong woman who kicks the enemys ass on the battlefield,and is really sweet and emotional with her loved ones.

i mean youre the perfect example for the word "moody".

loves your outfits and how creative you get when it comes to your style.he really wants you to help him choose his clothes too,but is shy to ask.

although sometimes its weird to him.like that one time you came to work dressed as Harley Quinn and got yelled at by Kunikida.

you love messing with him.you always flirted with him when you were just coworkers which made him really embarassed and blush,but it got worst when you started dating.

he loves it though.the fact that you only flirt with him means that youre only interested in him,which makes him really happy.

everyone else ships you two in the agency.Yosano always makes nasty comments about you two.

Atsushi is soooo protective over you.its just that youre way too attractive and he doesnt wanna lose you at all.

even Dazai noticed this,so he stopped asking you to commit suicide with him.

LOL

your stubbornness really makes him worried and kinda angry sometimes,like that one time you were baking a cake and were doing it the wrong way.Atsushi tried to warn you but nope! theres no way you listen to others and ask them for help.

you ended up burning your hands while getting the cake out of the oven and made o mess outa the kitchen, of course.

you love it when he flirts back,which is really,really rare.

you love hugging him while sleeping.sometimes you get to be the big spoon because you wanna show him how much you love him,and he really apreciates it

some nights hes the big spoon though.

kisses you on your forhead when youre sleep

youre really sensetive when it comes to food.one time you made Chazuke and Atsushi ate it all.he didnt leave anything for you,which made you furious.

what the hell am i supposed to eat now? how dare you eat my beloved food!

he was scared. Lmao. He didnt know how glutton you were XD

he made it up to you with buying you icecream the next day.

you love and adore your handsome boyfriend.

"come here,kitty kitty kitty,its smooching time!"

boy is touch starved,so make sure to take care of him properly.

Sorry if this is short,and hope you like it baby :)

-Ash

#bsd headcanons #bsd x reader #bungo stray dogs #bungou stray dogs x reader #bungou stray dogs headcanons #bsd x you #bsd imagines #atsushi hcs #nakajima atsushi #atsushi headcanons #nakajima atsushi x reader #atsushi x reader

[reidsnose]

cosmically connected

overview: spencer has a sudden realization after having a conversation with you

genre: F L U F F

a/n: i just think this one is super cute hehe also it takes place like at the end of the work day and half the team has already gone home lmao

masterlist

"you really don't believe in soulmates?" Garcia pressed on.

"I'm a man of science! and science says no" Reid retorted.

"actually, science man, science says yes," you butted in, as you stopped packing up your things, pushing yourself off your desk in your spinnie chair to be nearer to them.

Reid turned in his chair to see the newcomer, letting out a breath he didn't know he was holding when you smiled at him.

"is that so?" he teased, cocking an eyebrow.

you loved when you had a bit of attitude with each other. a cocky side of Spencer wasn't a common occurrence, so when it appeared you felt your cheeks grow red.

"oh! y/n you told me about this the other day! i said you sounded just like boy genius remember!" Garcia giggled, shaking her hands in excitement.

"yeah i remember." you laughed.

"can you tell me!" Reid feigned exasperation as he grew inpatient.

"relax! I'm about to!" you chuckled before continuing. "basically, when the big bang, or whatever caused the creation of the universe happened, there was all sorts of molecules and space dust that was together at one point that broke apart. do you agree?"

"yes." he answered cautiously.

"and in the whole universe is made of those particles?"

"mhm."

"im gonna stop calling them particles because i hate that word so im saying space dust. but in that case, humans are made of said space dust?"

"hmm... yeah thats correct."

"so two people could be made of the same space dust that was once whole?"

"i-yeah i guess you could say that."

"in that case, these two are cosmically connected then. bound together from the beginning by the beginning. in other words:" you wiggled your fingers as some sort of tiny 'ta-da' for dramatic effect, "soulmates!"

Spencer's mouth opened. and then closed. and then opened again, but then closed back up.

"he's speechless! you left the resident genius speechless! and you proved him wrong!" Garcia chirped, flashing and award winning smile to you.

you looked at Spencer, watching the wheels turn in his head. never in your life had you met a person quite like him. you loved watching him just exist, everything he did brought a blush to your cheeks. your felt embarrassed to crush so hard on a coworker, but you were convinced he didn't feel the same so it didn't really matter. you enjoyed adoring him from afar if it meant you could at least be his friend.

"i cant believe it." he stated simply, looking into your eyes and feeling as though he'd been electrocuted. in a good way.

you giggled looking down for a moment, afraid to keep eye contact for too long.

"what do you say braniac? did i convince you?" you asked, looking back up to meet his gaze.

the way you looked at him, Spencer was sure he would melt. you gave him a sly smile as you awaited a response, and he felt his heart rate quicken. every moment the two of you had ever shared together flashed through his mind and he was hit with a sudden realization.

"soulmates are real." he confirmed, cracking a goofy smile.

but he didn't come to that conclusion because of your scientific explanation.

it was because in that moment, he was sure he had found his soulmate. you.

"yes!" you exclaimed and interrupted his thoughts, spinning around in your chair and tapping excitedly on his desk.

"science said soulmates! science said soulmates!" Garcia said in a sing song voice, pushing you around the bullpen in her office chair.

Spencer couldn't help but laugh as he watched the scene unfold before him.

"when are you going to tell her?" morgan asked, clapping the younger boy lightly on the shoulder.

"i dont know. never? and maybe not even then." he responded much too quickly, feeling embarrassed at his crush.

"come on man! you're a profiler you gotta know shes into you!"

"except for the part where she isnt."

"i cant wait to say i told you so."

"youll be waiting a while."

"ah but not forever, pretty boy. not forever!" morgan laughed before walking out of the bullpen with garcia.

Reid scoffed lightly and rolled his eyes, though a smile tugged at his lips at the idea of you liking him back.

"aw man!" you cursed at you phone, after standing up from your desk with your bag in your hand.

"whats wrong?" he inquired, hands gripping his satchel as he walked through the now nearly empty bullpen to your desk.

"my friends had to cancel plans," you sighed, setting your phone down.

"oh im sorry. is there anything i can do?" he asked politely, making your heart flutter as you walked towards the elevators.

"no not really, i just need to figure out what to do with all the cookies i baked them." you joked, trying to bring light to your slowly dimming mood.

"i can help you eat them. we could watch a movie, or i could read to you." he offered, cheeks glowing a soft red under the streetlight.

"i think that sounds perfect," you smiled, a sudden flush filling your chest. "you wanna just ride with me?" you offered, opening your car door.

"yeah sure." he agreed, smiling softly.

"so," you began as you pulled out of the parking lot.

"so," he chuckled.

"do you really believe in soulmates now?" you asked, curious on how you were able to convince him so quickly.

his heart thumped wildly in his chest, "yes. i think ive met mine."

you felt your face fall but only for a second, forcing yourself to be happy for him, "aww, whats her name."

"y/n." he answered, nearly causing you to crash the car.

you swerved to the edge of the road and pulled over.

"what?" you questioned, breathless from the sudden news.

"i said her name name is y/n." he said nervously.

"im so glad you said that because im positive mine is named spencer." you smiled, feeling a sort of warmth spread through your body that you had never felt before.

he smiled a wide, goofy grin before placing a soft kiss to your lips which you gladly returned.

#criminal minds #spencer reid #spencer reid fanfic #spencer reid x reader #spencer #reid #bau #cm #morgan #derek morgan #agent morgan #garcia #penelope garcia #soulmates