#and i guess this is how i deal with it scaring me. the mad rush to preserve myself in time. prove that i was here and that i felt something

[guccifrog]

WRONG NUMBER FINAL

matt sturniolo x f!reader

some of y'all bout to be real mad at me :3

y/n's pov

I let out a sigh, as my eyes scanned the ceiling, I felt like I was suffocating under the weight of misery. The cold bed sheets beneath me were like a prison, binding me to the spot, it was then that I realized I had been lying there for days.

The past few days had been like shit for me, that even the simple act of standing up seemed like a difficult task. I couldn't take Matt out of my head. That it was starting to hurt even worse now. I missed him, I missed us. I missed whatever we had going on, I missed his voice, I missed him holding me close to him. I missed everything about him. It was like a piece of my heart had been ripped out, leaving a gaping hole that nothing could ever fill.

God I hate it when I can't get him out of my head. It's like he's become some sort of drug I can't get enough of. every time I close my eyes, all I see is his face. It's been days since I last talked to him, but I just couldn't bring myself to answer his texts. I knew if I did, I'd just end up saying something that'll just regret later.

My head pounded in agony as I sat up, the room spinning wildly around me. I felt nauseous and weak like I could barely stand on my own two feet. I slowly crawled my way to the bathroom, every movement making me wince in pain.

 Once I was in there, I stood in front of the mirror and stared at the poor reflection looking back at me. My eyes were dull and lifeless, my normally pale skin now a sickly shade of gray. My hair was a mess, tangled and greasy from not bothering to wash it for days. I looked like death warmed over. It didn't help that my reflection seemed to mock me. I didn't recognize the person looking back at me anymore. I felt like I was some sort of shadow of my former self,

I stared back at myself. It's not like I was some sort of prize or anything special. He'll get over it, eventually. But the words seemed hollow even to my own ears.

I ran my hands through my hair and took a deep breath trying to calm down, but it seemed to only make things worse. 

I turned away from the mirror, unable to look at myself any longer, climbing back into bed, pulling the covers up over my head, and trying to shut out the world. But no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't escape the feeling that I was slowly drifting away from everything that had once been familiar and comforting.

It wasn't even that big of a deal, why was I feeling like this? I'll get over it soon, right? It wasn't like it was the end of the world or something. But still, the pain didn't seem to lessen, it felt like someone had carved out my heart and stomped all over it. the truth was, I was scared. Scared that this was how it was going to be from now on.

I couldn't eat, I couldn't sleep. I just lay there, staring at the ceiling, willing myself to feel something else. But all I felt was this aching emptiness, that made me feel like I was floating in the void.

 His face kept creeping into my thoughts, his voice echoing in my head. It was like I couldn't escape him, even when I was in the middle of enjoying something else.

My brain refused to process anything else. I couldn't focus on anything else. It was like my entire world had been reduced to just one person, and now that he was gone, there was nothing left. I felt so empty. Like a shell of the person I used to be.

I needed to get out of the house. I needed some fresh air, some time away from everything that reminded me of him. I got up, threw on some clothes, and grabbed my keys. I didn't even bother to brush my teeth or wash my face. I just didn't care anymore.

matt's pov

I sat on my bed, my head pounding because of how much I was overthinking. I shouldn't have rushed things. I knew it the moment I had kissed her. I had been so sure that she felt the same way I did, but I guess I was wrong. How could I have been so stupid? Why did I have to ruin everything by acting on my feelings?

I threw myself back on my bed, the pain in my chest growing more intense with each passing second. What was wrong with me? Why did I always have to screw things up? It wasn't just this, it was everything. I couldn't seem to get anything right. And now I'd probably lost the only person who really understood me. It was like a physical weight pressing down on my chest, making it impossible to breathe.

The hours dragged on as I lay there, staring up at the ceiling, replaying everything over and over again in my head. I needed to talk to her, or to hear her voice at least, and to somehow make things better. But how could I do that without making it worse? I didn't want to lose her, but I knew that I had to call her eventually.

With a heavy heart, I reached for my phone, staring at the screen for a moment before dialing her number. Again. And again. And again. But each time, the phone rang and rang without anyone picking up.

 I was beginning to feel like a pathetic loser, calling her over and over when she clearly didn't want to talk to me. I should just accept that I had fucked things up and leave her alone. But I couldn't help but hope that maybe, just maybe, if I called one more time...

My finger hovered above the green "call" button, hesitating for a moment before I finally pressed it, Maybe she'd pick up, and we could talk about what had happened. Maybe we could find a way to make things right again. Or maybe, she'd just hang up on me, and I'd be left here, feeling even more shitty than before.

"hey bitch, I'm probably sleeping or re-watching my little pony or maybe I just don't wanna answer you, just leave a voice message even though I'm not gonna listen to- beep"

Oh. Well, I guess I'd better leave it at that then. I hung up the phone, feeling more miserable than ever. I had hoped that maybe she'd want to talk to me, but I guess not. I sighed, rubbing my eyes tiredly. Maybe I was being too hard on myself. Maybe she just needed some time to process things.

But again, I needed to talk to her, I just couldn't help it. I was sure I'd go insane if I didn't, So, I did the only thing I could think of, I quickly got up, grabbed my jacket and keys, and headed out the door. 

If I wasn't able to talk to her on the phone, then maybe I could just go see her in person. Maybe she'd be more willing to talk to me if I was standing right in front of her.

I drove to her house, my heart pounding in my chest as I passed through familiar streets and landmarks. I couldn't believe I was actually doing this. What if she doesn't want to talk? What if her parents answered the door? What if she didn't want to see me at all? The uncertainty was killing me. My brain was a mess, trying to think of every possible outcome, every possible scenario.

I decided to stop at a flower shop along the way and buy her a bouquet, just in case. I wanted to look like I was just bringing her flowers as a friend, not like I was some desperate ex-boyfriend. I didn't want to make things any more awkward than they already were.

As I pulled up to her house, my heart was racing, my palms sweaty. I took a deep breath, trying to calm my nerves, and then stepped out of the car, making my way up to the front door. 

Maybe this was a mistake. Maybe I should just turn around and leave. But it was too late for second-guessing now. With a deep breath, I lifted my hand to knock on the door. 

No answer. I knocked again, a little louder this time. Maybe she was in the backyard or something. Maybe she was just taking a moment to herself. I tried the door, but it was locked. I knocked again, this time a little more frantically.

Nothing. There was still no response. I knocked one more time, just to be sure, but the silence that followed only made my heart sink further. With a heavy sigh, I leaned against the door, feeling like an idiot for even coming here. What had I been thinking? That she'd just open the door and invite me in like everything was okay?

I looked down at the bouquet of pink tulips in my hand, feeling ridiculous for even bringing them. Maybe I should just leave them here on the porch and leave, but something held me back. I couldn't just walk away without at least trying to talk to her. With a deep breath, I took out my phone and dialed her number, hoping she would pick up this time. After what felt like an eternity, it rang...and rang...and rang. No answer.

"Excuse me ?" 

I looked up from my phone, startled by the voice. Standing in the driveway was an old woman, probably in her late seventies or early eighties. She was wearing a floral housecoat and a pair of reading glasses perched on the bridge of her nose.

"Um, hi," I said, a little sheepishly. "I was looking for...um, is y/n here?"

The old woman looked at me with confusion, before widening her eyes in realization" You mean the young lady who lived here? Oh dear, she would usually greet me every day but I haven't seen or heard of her in days, I'm assuming she moved out"

Her words hit me like a ton of bricks. No, that couldn't be it.  

"You must be her...friend?" Her voice trailed off, her expression gentle and sympathetic.

"Um, yeah," I replied, my throat feeling tight. "I mean, I was"

The old woman must have sensed my discomfort because she put a reassuring hand on my shoulder. "Don't you worry, dear. Sometimes people need time to themselves, and they find it in the most unexpected places. You never know, she might just be around the corner, waiting for you to find her."

Her words were meant to comfort me, but they only seemed to make things worse. I wanted to believe her, I really did. But the feeling in my gut told me something different. It told me that I might have lost her, and that this time, it might be for good.

With a heavy sigh, I thanked the old woman and made my way back to my car. As I drove away, my eyes stung with tears.

I tried to distract myself with music, and the scenery around me, but it was no use. The image of her face, the way she looked at me when we were together, it was burned into my memory.

Maybe this is a sign, that I need to move on. To accept that whatever we had going on was over and focus on my own life. But how could I possibly do that when all I could think about is the way she used to laugh at my jokes, the way she would pout and frown her eyebrows playfully every time I teased her. Those memories are engraved into my brain, and I don't think they'll ever fade.

 I didn't want to let go. I didn't want to forget about her. But what choice did I have? Could I keep living this way, constantly thinking about what could have been, and what might never be again? I couldn't. I had to find a way to move on.

I pulled out my phone and scrolled through my contacts, debating whether to delete her name or keep her in my life like a constant reminder of what I'd lost. In the end, I decided that if I wanted to truly move on, I needed to let her go. So I deleted her number, her email address, and even blocked her social media accounts.

I had to accept the fact that it was over and move on. It was the only way I could possibly heal. Even If I cared- no, loved her with all my heart, there was no point in holding on to something that wasn't there anymore. I needed to let go and find peace.

 It was a bitter pill to swallow, but it was one I knew I had to choke down.

the end

jkjk 😆

2 years later

y/n's pov

"Hey! Stop" I yelled as I watched my dog, pepper, run with my phone between her teeth. She darted around a corner, out of my sight. I sighed, running after her, just as she disappeared around another corner. 

"Pepper, come back!" I called, beginning to lose patience. I turned the corner and saw her sitting in front of our front door, her tail wagging excitedly, I breathed a sigh of relief and walked over to her, bending down to pick her up. "That's a good girl," I cooed, kissing her head. As I stood back up, I glanced down just to find my phone shattered into a million pieces on the ground.

 "Oh no," I muttered, "I guess that's the end of that." I sighed, knowing I'd have to save up for a new phone now. I picked up the pieces of my phone and stuffed them in my pocket, then reached for the doorknob, and entered my house.

I needed to tell my mom, or else she'd get worried. I knew she had an old phone lying around somewhere. I went to her room and started searching through her drawers, looking for the phone.

 After a few minutes of digging, I finally found it, buried under a pile of old magazines and makeup. I smiled to myself, feeling relieved that I had found it. I quickly grabbed the phone and went back to my room, shutting the door behind me.

As I sat down on my bed, I inspected the phone more closely and realized that It was my old phone, the one I had before I got my current one. I powered it on, relieved to see that it was still working. 

Luckily I didn't have a password set up on my old phone, so I was able to use it right away. I immediately went to check my contacts only to find that all contacts I had were just numbers now. 

I didn't recognize any of them. "How did this happen?" I wondered out loud, as I dug through the rest of the phone, looking for any clue as to who these people were or how I had gotten their numbers. After a while, I came across a number that looked exactly like my mom's. "That must be it," I thought to myself, before clicking the message icon and started typing.

THE END ☆

HEY OML U MADE IT TO THE END OF YHE STORY 🤩🤩🤩🤩💯💯💯 but anyways I just wanna thank u all for sticking around (corny ass zay) I'm so so So so grateful for all of the support y'all gave me to continue this shitty ahh series it really makes my day everytime I read u guys's comments I love u all fr muaaah 💕

taglist ☆

@mattestrella @chrisfavoritepepsi @sunsetsturniolos @littlebookworm803 @sturniozo @sturniolooooo @athaliahxoxo @rac00ns-are-c00l4 @ev3rgreenxtrees @nonamegirlxsturniolo @crybabycat1 @mooniethesimp31 @ducksturniolo @ifilwtmfc @pepsiimaxx @sleepysturnss @lustfulslxt @ilovemattsworld @hrt-attack @flowerxbunnie

@secret-sturniolo @iluvmeeen @that-general-simp @swangelss @familynotfandom @fuckshitslover @styles-sturniolo @lvr-111 @opheliaofficial07 @kiarastromboli @hearts4chriss @braindead4l @sturniolosreads @mattsturnzzz09 @itssophiasstuff @mayhem-72 @b2cute @buckys-celestes @4iriss @bitterspoons

#matt sturniolo x reader #matt sturniolo #matthew sturniolo #matt sturniolo x you #matt #matthew sturniolo x you #matthew bernard sturniolo #matthew sturniolo x reader #sturniolo triplets #christopher sturniolo #chris sturniolo #nick sturniolo #the sturniolo triplets #sturniolo #christopher owen sturniolo #chris sturniolo x y/n #lets trip tour #sturniolo x reader #matt sturniolo texts #matt sturniolo fanfic #matt sturniolo fluff #christopher sturniolo texts #let's trip #fresh love

[thebearer]

hi e! back again with more carmy shit because i love the way you did my little blurb justice 🥰. i literally just envisioned sydney minding her own business and just recklessly placing carmy in the hot seat cause she knew his ass was gon get it 😂. i’m all in for more dom!carmy so i’d love to keep the idea going that his s/o works for/with/alongside him at the bear with a touch of her giving him her two cents? a little bit of sass to just remind who he’s dealing with 😩. maybe this time around he slipped up on something major (a birthday, anniversary, or something that overall was important to the reader and he put it off because in his mind the bear comes first). she’s been slowly driving him crazy with that silent treatment she’s been doing for the last few days and her less than a few syllabled words when he doesn’t remind her how irked he made her 😂; she’s not mad anymore just disappointed. and anyway basically in a prep for preordered to go’s on lunch rush he’s reading back orders to her and she completely writes him off. i can see him being like exactly how he when he’s not getting when he needs from his staff during a frenzy and flipping tf out. like you know when he repeats himself a second time as if you didn’t hear him the first he means it 😂. tysm in advance! please feel free to do whatever you’d like. i’m writing this at 6 in the morning so many ideas are coming into the fold. i hope you have a great day - 🥣.

ok i did sorta a different-ish take. same idea but i don't write the reader as a chef bc quite honestly i can't relate lmao i'm a horrendous cook lol. but silent treatment yes!! reader works at the bear but not a chef.

"Does anyone know where the extra napkins are? Mindy needs to be settin' tables." Carmen huffed, slamming the empty crate back in the back stock.

"That would be your missus' domain." Richie snickers, elbowing Fak lightly. "Guess you better go ask her, Cousin."

"Yeah? Fuck off. Thought it was your fuckin' job." Carmen grumbled, running a hand through his hair.

"Me? Fuck no, Cousin. You know who's job it is, c'mon." Richie grinned. "It's your wife, Carm. What? Scared to talk to your wife?"

Carmen sneered, huffing in annoyance, but the truth was... yes, he was a little scared. Especially with how furious you were at him. Carmen was a chronic over worker, barely taking time for himself. It was a constant fight between the two of you, one he'd gotten better at, but still struggled finding that balance. Which normally, you'd be more forgiving about.

Except it was your anniversary.

Carmen left you waiting at home, dressed up with a new lingerie set that he painfully didn't get to enjoy. By the time he got off, taking his time to clean the kitchen, prep for tomorrow's crowd, he looked at his phone and saw your texts and calls, his heart dropping.

You'd been giving him the cold shoulder since then, furious and hurt- or so he assumed, you wouldn't say anything.

Richie found the entire thing hilarious when Carmen told him. "You forgot your fuckin' anniversary? You jagoff, holy shit."

Carmen found it less than amusing. The tension in the restaurant was thick because of the two of you. Everyone teetering around you, but especially Carmen, he was more on edge now.

Pushing the door open to the office, Carmen ducked his head in, seeing you at his desk- your desk, technically, you used it more. "Hey, honey," Carmen's voice was soft, a sweet hum that had your spine straightening. He flinched lightly, stepping towards you. "D'you know where the extra napkins are?"

You didn't reply, simply typing on your laptop, editing a video for the social media page about the upcoming summer specials.

Carmen blinked, barking out your name in a much harsher than he meant to, but it seemed to work. Kinda. Your head whipped around, eyes in a burning glare when they met his, but your lips were still pressed together.

Carmen through his hands out in exasperation. "Are you bein' fuckin' serious with me?"

Richie made his way towards the table where Tina was doing prep, craning his neck to watch. Your lips twisted, glaring harshly at Carmen. Carmen huffed, a hand running over his forehead. "What do you want from me, huh? What? You're just never gonna speak to me again? I forgot, ok? I didn't mean to, I just fuckin' forgot! I was at work!"

You glared at him, feeling Richie's amused gaze from over Carmen's shoulder, the rest of the staff pretending to be busy to hear. "Shut the door." You snapped.

Carmen flinched, shocked. "What-"

"Shut the fuckin' door, now." You snapped, slamming your laptop, turning to face him. Carmen pressed the door shut, ignoring Richie's whines of "c'mon, Cousin, it was just gettin' good!".

The two of you stared, neither being the first to talk, not wanting to break. You huffed, rolling your eyes in annoyance. "You wanted to talk, talk, Carmen. I've got shit to do."

"Hey," Carmen's eyes flashed at you, his tone hard with an edge of warning. "You better watch your-"

"-No, you better watch your mouth with me. Watch what you say to me, Berzatto." You snapped, pointing a finger at him. "This isn't a fuckin' game, alright? I'm mad at you. Actually fuckin' mad at you."

Carmen's stomach turned, swallowing the guilt rising with the bile in his throat. "I... I'm sorry-"

"-Sorry isn't going to work this time, Carmen. It's always sorry. Always I didn't fuckin' mean to, I got busy." You snapped, arms wrapping over your torso. "You always do this, but our anniversary? You forgot our anniversary?"

"No, I didn't forget." Carmen ran a hand down his face. "I got you flowers and-and the bracelet-"

"-And that was very nice, Carmen, but you weren't there." You snapped, the finality in his tone making his rebuttal dissolve in his mouth. The hurt in your eyes, rounding and pitiful, soft and pleading with him. You were angry, but you were hurt, too.

His shoulders deflated, breath leaving his lungs. "You're right," Carmen nodded slowly. "No, you're-you're right, and-and-and I'm... Fuck, I'm so sorry, baby." Carmen said sincerely, eyes shining with sincerity. "I... I got caught up and I-I shouldn't have even been working that day, I just..."

"I know." You muttered, looking down at the desk, a framed picture of the two of you in Copenhagen at your wedding ceremony. Carmen in his suit, you in your dress, happy and smiling with the breathtaking scenery behind you.

Carmen could feel the guilt growing in his chest, palms sweating and heart racing, the panic to fix it- to do something. "How much longer do you have?" Carmen asked, nodding towards your laptop.

"Just a few more things to edit." You looked at your paused work. "Why?"

"Let me... Let me make it right." Carmen sighed, shaking hands fumbling towards his apron.

"Carmen, you can't leave-"

"-Yeah, yeah, I can." Carmen nodded, pulling the door out and calling for Sydney. "Can you cover tonight, Chef?"

"Uh, yeah, yeah, I can." Sydney nodded.

"I got it too, Cousin-" Carmen shut the door before he could hear Richie's full comment, sure something smart ass would be included.

"Let's go out." Carmen looked at you. "A make up. Please?"

You folded your arms, pouting lightly. "'m not dressed for going out."

"What're you talkin' about? You look beautiful, c'mon." Carmen shook his head lightly at you, shoving his clothes into his bag, pulling out his spare.

You tried not to drool at the sight of his chest. You'd missed him, you really had. It was a shame the lingerie went to waste.

Carmen pulled you out of the restaurant, hand on your waist, holding you close to his side. It wasn't the fancy reservations you'd planned, no Michelin star restaurants with expensive wine. No, instead, he took you to some a rooftop restaurant, one with the vibey aesthetic you always cooed at on Instagram. Sitting and sharing pretzels and greasy food, snuggled into Carmen's side while he ordered dessert. Giggling when he fed you the brownie sundae, tilting your head back with his fingers cradling your jaw lightly. It was simple, romantic, and fun. Made your heart swell, clinging to him the whole way home.

And when you got home? Carmen was in heaven. Letting you show him what he missed a few days earlier.

#thebearer #bearblahs #carmy berzatto #carmy berzatto x reader #carmen berzatto smut #carmen berzatto fluff #carmen berzatto #carmen berzatto fic #carmen berzatto x reader #the bear #carmen berzatto angst #carmen berzatto x you #carmy berzatto x you #carmy x reader #richie jerimovich #sydney amadu #carmen berzatto fanfiction #carmy berzatto fluff #the bear fx

[indecenthoney]

"One Too Many"

-----------------------------------------------

I never really had an eventful life. Not because I haven't lived it, it's just that there is a certain comfort to being at home. I'd love to go to a party with friends, but I'm not the best at talking to randoms. But one random night, just like any other night, I got a call from one of my friends asking me to pick them up. It so happens that my friend wasn't doing so good at this party. I quickly rushed over to pick her up. She smelled of booze; carrying herself in a drunken stupor. My other friend managed to open her phone and call me up. They continued to party while I was tasked to bring her home. Not quite how I wanted to spend my evening but what are friends for? I guess.

"Hey... Dude... We're here... Get out... What do you mean you can't walk? Fuck... Of course, you can't walk... Do you know how shitty your tolerance is with alcohol? I mean... Why the fuck are you drinking? What do you mean don't be mad at you?!? Don't you dare start crying... Ughhh... Okay... Okay... fuck... I'm sorry for shouting at you... Tomorrow I am lecturing you till your ears bleed... Get up... I'll drop you off... Careful... careful... Where are your keys? Uhuh... Alright... If you need to vomit... I left your garbage can next to your bed... Call me in the morning..."

After settling her in, I quickly made my way to the door only to be stopped by a quiet voice. Something that I would usually ignore but quickly followed a barrage of tears and sniffles. How could I leave her alone?

"Nooo, I wasn't leaving... I was just going to grab you some water... What's wrong? Do you need to vomit? No? Thennnn.... why are you crying? You don't wanna be alone... Did something happen at the party that I should know of? There was a guy... and he was hot? And you wanted to bring him home... but you said what? Oh my fucking god... You didn't... No shit that would scare him off... Okay okay... I'm sorry I'm sorry... So you're upset that you screwed it up... It's okay we all fuck up sometimes... What? Dude you're plenty pretty... You'll get another chance... Maybe next time don't drink too many drinks before trying to flirt with someone... Especially if you plan on bringing them home..."

I was jealous. I shouldn't be complaining seeing as how I never made an effort to put myself out there. Plus I wasn't exactly ugly or bad-looking. It's more like a hidden treasure type of deal. Under the scowl and heavy clothing, I had a good smile and I was pretty hot. I just never really had the confidence to show myself off or flirt. What's more, is that I always wanted someone to come up to me and shoot their shot. Hearing her talk about some random guy, irked me. But, I hid away the jealousy and wiped away her tears. Searching through her drawers for some tissue to clean her snot-filled nose. She's such a baby when she's drunk.

"Here... Blow your nose for me... Thank you, good girl... I'm going to grab you some water and I'll be back... Promise... What do you mean you don't want me to leave? You really need to sober up... Yes, I'm not going anywhere... What? C'mon, use your words... What do you need? It's hot? Uhm... then go get changed... Help you? No way... I am not going to help you... Do you even understand what you're asking me right now? Hi hello... It's me... Your friend... That'd be weird... Okay okay... stop crying jeez... I'm going to pick out your pajamas...Alright... I'll just be right there... You can see me still... Ugh, dude... I'm literally a few steps away... Fine okay... You can hold my hand and follow me... Better? Good... Yes yes... the fluffy pajamas I know..."

There was a certain appeal to her vulnerability. Funny enough, it's like seeing Batman cry. A rare event. Seeing her cling on to me was nice. Despite that, I had to steel my resolve to get through what came next. Undressing her. I had her sit down on the bed. Unbuttoning her blouse. Lifting her shirt. And finally, finding myself shaking while unhooking her bra. A little difficult considering my eyes were shut. But it was my weak attempt at keeping my morals in check.

"C'mon put your arm through... There we go... Good... Alright wriggle outta that skirt... It looks uncomfortable... You're making me feel hot... Now... Im going to turn around while you put these on... Help you? You're joking right... You're probably just sober and teasing me now... Why would do I have to help you put on panties? I know you're wobbling but... Fine, let's just get this over with..."

Little whimpers escape her lips; each leg is fitted through her panties. Doing my best to stare at the floor than to look at her bare pussy. My thumb grazing along her thighs. A slight tremble feeds back into me. A glance reveals a newly formed wet spot. Upon release, I found my hands around her soft hips. I look back at her; only to find her breathing heavily unsure of what to do with herself. She quickly places herself atop me without a word.

"H-hey... Uhm... We still have to put your pajama bottoms on... Are you-... Wait... Woah woah... S-slow down... You're just a little drunk... Let's slow down before you regret something... I really don't wanna- Mmmph... Mmm...."

Lips interlocked. Time passes both slowly and quickly. Hips picking up speed to ease the tension. My morality slowly crumbled with each and every kiss. Each and every grasp of her body leading us deeper and deeper into sin. Even if she did initiate, I found myself slowly gaining dominance. My entire body leaning into her; needing more. Wanting more. Even her kisses began to stifle at my relentless assault. She gave off a look of complete submission as if to say anything to ease that burning sensation. But enough with pretty words, all I really wanted to do right now was to fill this room with her pretty little moans. My hands finding their way south; rubbing along the newly formed wet spot. Teasing her. An incoherent and feeble attempt at communication was made. Her protests were brought to a halt with every little slide of my thumb. She soon realized the more she put up a fight, the more I would tease her. No amount of bratting would have gotten her out of that situation.

"You're squirming an awful lot... What's wrong? Oh, is that it? Such a needy baby... You want more? What a greedy little girl... Not enough stimulation? What? Unsatisfied? Because I don't fuck you like how the other guys do? Shove my cock into your pretty little holes until completion? Yeah... We don't do that here... You've never been teased properly before, have you? Well, that's no fun... Why don't we fix that? Listen you can fuck whoever you want... however you want... But you're with me right now... And if you want my attention... you're going to have to listen... Let's see... I'll give you what you want... But on the condition that I get to freely do as I please... And all you have to do is sit there and take it... If you can last three minutes without whining or cumming... You can use me however you want... Do we have a deal?"

Not that she was in any position to decline. It was just amusing seeing her struggle to behave. I don't blame her. Kind of hard to resist when the one thing you've been waiting your whole night to have is just right there in front of you. And you can't do a thing about it. It's like placing a treat on a dog's nose. Lesson being, good pups that wait will get their reward. Her hands cover her mouth. Eyes rolling back with every flick of my thumb. Her pussy dripping wet from all the attention.

"Look at you... Doing such a good job... Why so quiet, love? Does it not feel good? Maybe I should rub a little faster then... There we go... Now I can hear you... What was that? Use your words, girl... Slow down..? Now why would I do that? When you're such a drippy little mess... you're basically forming a puddle under us... Aren't you ashamed? Making such a filthy mess... Almost there, sweetheart... Two more minutes..."

Two hellish minutes which seemed like forever. I can only imagine what's going on in her head. To make things worse, my touch slowly lost its vigor. Strokes of my thumb dwindle to a tiny tap on her needy clit driving her restless. An incoherent babble of words. A slight buck in her hips to rub herself against me. It would seem she wasn't aware of what she was doing at this point. All she knew is that she needed to cum. Ten seconds remain. I'll tell you now that I am a pretty sore loser when it comes to these sorts of deals. Without a thought, I was also nearing my limit. Sliding myself into her. I could quickly feel her warmth envelop me. It was nearly impossible to stop thrusting into her. It felt as if she was cumming with each and every thrust.

"Cumming again? How many times was that? Oh? It hurts? You can take it, sweetie... I'm almost there... Just a little longer, alright? I promise... and while you take a break... I'll use you're pretty little mouth... and we'll go for another round or two, yeah? I know you're shaking... but this is what you wanted, right? To be fucked senseless? Now just stay there and... take it... Be a good girl... and take it... F-fuck... "

I lost count of the number of times I came in her that night. Bent over the desk. All around the bed. The living room. The shower. On the couch. Even in the hallway of her apartment. I wouldn't be surprised if someone saw us. But we didn't care. Or well, I didn't care. By the end of the night, I had her mindlessly moving her hips on my cock. Up and down. Unattentive to how much time has passed. A cock drunk little slut waiting on every little word that escaped my lips. I knew then that life was going to be a little less boring.

------------------------------------------------

Respectfully,

Honey

#cnc brat #cnc free use #cnc k!nk #attention wh0r3 #corruption kink #degrading k1nk #br33dable #dumb wh0re #free use kink #needy wh0re #intox kink #intox cnc #cnc overstim #dumbification #edging kink #edging and denial #humiliation kink #filthy thoughts #RisquéHoney

[batxmasisrjuice]

Dear Diary

A fun collaboration with @obsessive-ego 💚

InvisibleBeej x FemReader

Slightly NSFW

And a big thank to @beetled-juice for running through this journey with me!

Beetlejuice finding out your secret thoughts about him! 👀

Dear Diary

So, you have a diary. Big deal. As an adult, you need to vent sometimes and writing has always been a nice outlet for you. But with Beetlejuice living with you rent-free and having boundary issues, you knew you needed to hide this diary well away from his grubby hands and prying eyes. Luckily, you had the perfect spot in your apartment. Somewhere he'd never want to venture: behind the cleaning supplies.

Yes you were both smitten with each other. But you've both been too scared to ever confess these feelings. So on a daily basis, it's nothing but strong flirting from him, and butterflies in the tummy for you.

But it's getting to the breaking point, and you have to get these thoughts out before you completely snap. It feels like this past week he's been extra flirty and handsy with you.

It was rarely a quiet evening at home with Beetlejuice always around keeping you constant company. However, he was nowhere in sight tonight. A little out of the norm, but you guessed he was out doing his usual activities. Either spending time with the Maitlands, annoying Lydia, or off scaring your neighbors. So you decide it's a perfect time to write! You retrieve your diary and pen, get all set up with a cup of tea in hand, and snuggled up on the couch under a cozy blanket ready to write out all of these pent-up emotions.

Little did you know Beetlejuice has been in the apartment this entire time. In invisible mode. Just watching what you'd do if he'd left for an evening, and to see outside your usual routine when he's around. Now shocked to discover you own a diary!

"I fucking knew it! You little minx. And hiding it in the best place too, you naughty girl." 😈

He knew you had to have one, and damned if he didn't try hunting for it in the past. He notices you getting comfortable and decides to get closer.

"Now! What naughty thoughts have you written down in this bad boy, hot stuff?"

Being the curious demon he is, he peeks over your shoulder as you begin to write. Starting out with the usual day to day stuff like work and family things. A nice warm up before getting to the feelings you've kept buried for months.

"Oh c'mon babes. Get to the good stuff! I know you have dirty little secrets you'd never like Mr. Beebleboose to find out about you."

He squats down to your eye level, wanting a better view while you're in your element. So fascinated with your look of contentment, and how beautiful you look when you're at ease and in your own headspace. Strands of soft pink begin to spread across the tips of his hair. You're beginning to drive him mad and wants so badly to just lean in and kiss you. He's frozen in place for a long moment as these fantasy thoughts of you kissing him back come to him.

Snapping back into reality, he slowly stands back up with a low sigh. Hair shifting to purple. Now saddened by this unrealistic idea of why would a breather like you ever be interested in a demon like me come to his mind as he gazes down at you. He begins to pace around for a bit as you continue to scribble.

After a moment, he sees you stop to take a sip of tea. You pause and look up, taking in a long deep breath before repositioning yourself, now leaning in more focused as you go back to writing. His curiosity always getting the better of him, he walks back behind you and quickly halts. Wide-eyed seeing his name has been written! Your personal thoughts... ABOUT HIM!

He's panicking! Now rushing to look at your previous writing to catch up on what you've said about him so far. Stomach tightening from anxiety of what they might be. Then settling on the first sentence that included his name reads:

And damn... then there's Beetlejuice.

He continues to read on, not knowing...or sure if he wants to know where this is going.

Reading on:

He's just driving me completely crazy! I'm at my limit here and dont know what I'm going to do with him. He's just getting to be too much, to the point I can't be held responsible if he keeps this up any longer!

He instantly slouches... not knowing if he wants to continue your next thought pouring from your still-moving hand. He looks down and feels absolutely heartbroken.

What was it that he's done specifically to make you this upset with him? What can he do to fix this and make it better? His thoughts are stopped short when he hears the movement of your pen halt, and you pause to let out a small whine, border lining into a moan.

He immediately shoots his gaze back up towards you, baffled why you'd make such an arousing noise. Or was it a depressed sigh that his perverted mind mistook for an erotic noise?

You lean your head back, eyes worried and scanning the ceiling. He has to see what else you added to the diary so he can get a handle on what made you react like this. Slowly, he glances back down at the diary entry, your hand paused at the last bit of paper, showing the last unread sentence:

He's making me so horny and riled up with all his teasing, touching, and flirting. I just want to pin him down and have my way with him!

For a moment he's convinced he's dreaming. This is too good to be true! His purple hue instantly fades back to pink. Looking at you in a deep stare and mouth hanging open, he pinches himself. His daze is cut short as he hears you moan again, making his eyes widen as he bites his lip, his color now snapping into a deep magenta.

Tapping your pen at a quickening speed, you finally place it down on the surface next to your tea. You take a sip, trying to calm yourself. Feeling tense, you put the tea back down and bring your hands to your upper arms, dragging them up and down a few times while in deep concentration...almost worry. You take a long pause. With your eyes closed, you slowly move your hands toward your breasts. Resting them there for a moment, then begin to caress and massage them slowly. Quietly moaning.

Beej is in awe, his jaw nearly hitting the floor! Knowing he shouldn't be seeing this, and you're doing this because of your thoughts...of him!!! He takes a big swallow and whines, resting his wide, unblinking eyes on you as he adjusts his hardening cock in his pants. His breathing getting heavier and begins to loosen his tie because damn... was it just him, or was it suddenly getting hot in here? Watching you do this to yourself was pure eye candy for this demon, and he wasn't missing a moment! Drool starting to form on his bottom lip as he continues listening to you moan and gasp as you touch yourself. God how he wishes you were nude right now. He's nervously fidgeting as the drool starts to drip down his chin. Sweat starting to form at his brow, he loses his striped jacket, tossing it to the side with a grunt. He bites his lip and begins rolling up his sleeves, eyes never leaving you.

You suddenly stop. Beetlejuice frozen in place, with his back now hunched and leering over you, feeling completely predatory. He sees you begin to sit up and grab your pen, the scribbling now more frantic and yearning in your eyes. He quickly paces back behind you (or as well as he can pace considering his cock is now rock hard) to see what you're adding.

I mean yes, I've always felt something for him, but these past few days have been killing me! All his touching and incessant flirting! But he's a demon. Is this just a default mode for him? Is he even interested in someone like me? Would he even care for a relationship? Or would it just be about sex, I don't know if I could handle that.

Beej's excitement dwindles reading your doubts. Now replaced by feelings of yearning. Wanting to prove himself to you. He could totally do the relationship thing with you! Plus sex with love? Something this virgin demon has always wanted!

You pause to think about your last few thoughts as he looms over your shoulder. He's curious if you'll continue. Nervous eyes darting back and forth from you to the diary.

He's fallen so damn hard for you.... and now he's seeing he actually has a chance at something with you!! He doesn't want to fuck this up.

You put pen to paper again. His entire body growing stiff, shoulders rising closer to his ears and arms pinned at his sides. He's becoming explosive with tension and practically vibrating with anticipation. He wants you, and he wants you bad. In the best and worst way. Yes he wants to fuck your brains out and fantasizes about this every hour on a daily basis... but he also wants you for a loving partner. Unable to imagine his afterlife without you, and he's completely head over heels. Finally admitting the most powerful words to himself. "I love you"

He's dripping sweat and looking at you instead of the diary, terrified of what it will say. Trying to gather the strength to read it, he walks to the side to study your face for any clues first. So desperate to know if this will be good or bad news for him. But you're so focused, making it hard to get a clear read on you. With his stomach in knots, he pushes himself to see what you've written.

He nervously approaches with a slow side step towards you from behind. Getting the nerve to read more with extreme caution.. as if he's about to be struck. Tilting his head and biting his lip, he slowly leans in over your shoulder, looking down at the diary.

Ok.... I'll have to really be careful here, but willing to take a chance with him. I can't believe how badly I want this demon, but don't want to get hurt again. I need to be careful, knowing if he wants something real. But how can I find this out without being obvious? I love him. But does he love me?

Beej feels like he's about to pass out. YOU LOVE HIM?! AND HE HAS A SHOT!!!

His mind is racing! What can he do? How can he get you to be his? Now in a frantic, flustered mode. It's making him involuntarily pace around you as he watches you sit back, deep in your thoughts. Slowing to a stop, he gets down on his knees closer to you at your side. His hands placed on the arm of the couch as he gazes up at you with hopeful eyes.

"I'll show you, y/n"

A quick poof and he's gone to the Netherworld to run some errands. He has big plans for tomorrow.

Fin!

#beetlejuice #musicaljuice x reader #beetlejuice x reader #fanfic #beetlejuice fanfic

[genderkoolaid]

Hi I'm ND and I was wondering about your experiences with religious beliefs? I saw your post and it definitely resonated with the frustration I had engaging in spiritual communities because people are never Normal about it. I guess I'm also wondering how to navigate with discernment regarding spiritualism as someone with intrusive thoughts and other issues, if you feel like you're able to shed some light with your personal experiences of course. Have a good day!! ☀️

So I personally deal with intrusive thoughts, paranoia and delusions, while also being deeply religious & having mystic experience, which as you can imagine can be very stressful! its hard talking to people about that because its so easy for people to just go "oh you're psychotic so you can't be trusted on your experiences."

when it comes to psychotic stuff: for me the #1 thing i keep in mind when it comes to this is learning to not focus on whether a certain experience is "real," but rather if it is helpful. this is one of the things thats been repeated to me many times & its been very helpful keeping in mind. trying to prove whether or not something spiritual is "real" is an absolute mess for the sanest of people (mostly because i think the conflation of spirituality and science as like. opposing forces has done so much damage to how we think about it but anyways). but something solid you can ponder is how a certain belief or practice helps or hurts you. instead of "is x real or am i crazy," ask "how does x affect me? does it make me feel more equipped to deal with life? does it inspire me to connect with others and with myself? is it causing me mental or physical stress/harm? is it causing others harm?" these focus you more on things you can identify immediately. you can also ofc combine this with things like reality checks & secular ways of coping with delusions/paranoia/hallucinations.

as a general rule it's good to take your time with any sort of spiritual/mystical experience and think through it, what you felt, possible causes (spiritual and secular), and what you might do because of it. don't feel the need to rush into anything, it's not a sign of failure to be thorough and contemplative and open to many possible explanations.

additionally, we have this idea in our minds that if something has a spiritual origin it can't have a physical explanation, which is silly to me. even if there is a biochemical explanation for something, that doesn't mean its not a spiritual experience; we are fleshy creatures. there's no reason why our spirituality can't be fleshy too. if someone has hallucinations because of brainweirdness, that doesn't mean they can't ascribe spiritual meaning to them; and it also doesn't mean they have to ascribe spiritual meaning to every hallucination. something something why must our humanity be antithetical to god-or-what-have-you.

on intrusive thoughts: i don't have moral ocd, although i used to have religious compulsions. i don't really anymore because my beliefs/experiences have re-affirmed many times that god-or-what-have-you is not going to get mad at me for not doing x thing Good Enough, and the "does it hurt or help" rubric also helps me remember that the things that help me feel good and healthy are what is best for me spiritually. if you feel scared and stressed and self-hating constantly, that isn't going to make you a better devotee/follower/practitioner, its just going to tear you apart until you can't function.

i saw a post a while ago talking about prayer/meditation when you have ADHD & get distracted by thoughts easily, and i think its helpful for that + disruptive intrusive thoughts: instead of trying to stop thinking them, you can just incorporate them. if you can't stop thinking about a hyperfixation, you can meditate on what interests you and why. if intrusive thoughts won't leave, you can vent about that to god-or-what-have-you.

the thing about mainstream religion/spirituality is that it is by and large made by sane neurotypical people, for them. ND/mad people are either demonized or, sometimes mythologized, but we are always being viewed as outsiders. we haven't been allowed to have spiritual autonomy and create our own intepretations and practices that match our unique ways of thinking and perceiving the world. once you realize this you have to start pointing out where a practice fails you and then take it into your own hands- this is why i have found religion so helpful for me, because i have found/made interpretations that affirm me. if you follow a sacred text, you can reject literalism & that it perfectly reflects the actual words of the divine. you can reject the mainstream interpretations that cater to racism/sexism/homophobia/transphobia/etc. and find new ones or make your own. you can adapt rituals to your needs or make entirely new ones. and once again find other people who are also brainweird and spiritual and talk with them about what they do & believe. god is crazy too etc etc

#i rlly hope this was helpful #i am very passionate abt this topic! #this was very general but if you have more specific questions I'll gladly try to help #m. #ask box

[mama-qwerty]

You've comments on it, but in my fics, I think Eclipse is struggling with in this new home, he doesn't know where the limit is. Back on the comet, he knew EXACTLY what he had to do for his father and what would upset him and would what please him.

Here he wonders what will make someone snap and attack me in a fit of rage? Can I be thrown out of the house if I do something wrong? and that stresses him out.

At least he knew what to expect back on the comet. Here it's anyone's guess

Long term abuse rewrites your brain. You develop coping mechanisms for dealing with it, learning the triggers and warning signs. Your stomach is in a nearly constant state of clench. Senses on high alert. You're hyperaware of every move you make, and run every thought, every action, every word through a dozen mental filters to determine if anything will set your abuser off. And even then you could be wrong.

Eclipse had the additional stress that Black Doom could read his mind. So he had to develop even more filters and ways of coping.

There are times Black Doom would yell at Eclipse. Sending the sound of screams into his head for hours. Those were bad.

But the times he was silent were worse.

The leader of the Black Arms could block his mind from being probed by the lesser members, including Eclipse, and if BD was silent, that was bad. Those were the times Eclipse tried to be extra obedient, extra vigilant. He didn't know what his father was thinking. He didn't know if punishment was coming. He didn't know what he had done--or hadn't done--to incur his wrath this time.

It was almost a relief when the other shoe dropped and Eclipse felt the pain of whatever punishment his father handed down.

But even after the abuse ends, that mindset doesn't.

You flinch when someone talks too loud. You steel yourself if someone moves too quickly. You're still examining everything you say, often staying silent out of habit. You're still hyperaware of your surroundings, keeping an eye on the exit, not letting yourself get pushed into a corner.

And you're always waiting for that other shoe to drop. No matter how long it's been. No matter how safe you feel.

There'll come a time when Eclipse pushes too far, steps over the line too often. And he'll make others mad at him. And all those fears will rush forward, but it will feel comfortable, because this is what he knows. This is normal. Not the kindness. Not the caring. Not the gentle touches, or the soft voices, or the promises that he'll never be hurt.

Talk is cheap.

But when the harsh punishment doesn't come, when he isn't beaten or starved or screamed at or threatened with being eaten alive by the scavengers, that will be even scarier. Because he doesn't understand it. Why aren't they hurting him? There's a routine--he does something bad, he gets punished, life goes on. But without punishment, it's like an open wound (ironically). He has no closure, no sense of end to this situation.

The stress and fear and confusion and anxiety continue to grow, and he can't help but act out more. Testing, pushing the boundaries. Where's the line? Where's the moment that they snap and lash out at him? He can't keep himself safe if he doesn't know how far to go, how to recognize when they're going to hurt him.

He's on edge, even worse than he was on the Comet. He can't read their minds, he can't understand their actions. Their words are weak and teasing and he won't be fooled. But no matter what he does, they don't retaliate. They don't snap and hurt him.

And the thought that maybe they're telling the truth starts to whisper to him.

And it scares the hell out of him.

Because this is new. This is strange. This is uncharted territory and not only removes the threat of corporal punishment, but also gives him the option of not having to live worried about the next bout of pain. They don't expect anything from him.

So . . . now what? How does he behave? What's his purpose? He's supposed to just live?? HOW??

I have a lot of these thoughts for my verse's Eclipse. He's very much like a wild animal that's been beaten and abused, and needs to feel safe and comfortable before he can be 'domesticated'. Well, as much as Eclipse can be domesticated.

#ask me #ames stuff #eclipse the darkling

[jellicle-chants]

the hug that last longer than the others

So, this ended up being way longer than I anticipated, so it’s mostly going under a cut.

Rumpleteazer sat on the edge of the roof, knees pulled up to her chest. Her tail twitched, as much as she wanted it to be still. She pressed her eyes shut and sighed.

"Your dad means well, you know." She turned her head to see Asparagus climbing out of the attic window. He tried to stand upright on the shingles, using the eave as a handhold.

"You shouldn't be up here, Da. You're going to fall." She wanted to get up and help, but something was keeping her stuck in place.

"Don't worry about me," he said, crouching down and half-sliding, half-crawling to the roof's edge. "I used to do my fair share of climbing when I was your age."

"Really?" She couldn't help but laugh a little at the idea.

"Of course! Well, you know I'm awfully shy now, but it was even worse when I was a kitten. I would do anything I could not to have to talk to people, so I learned how to climb things better than anyone else could." He looked out over the horizon, the rays of the setting sun casting an orange glow over his white fur. "I would sit up at the tops of trees all day, just doing whatever I wanted to, and I loved it. Of course I would come down for meals and that sort of thing, but otherwise nobody could bother me unless I wanted them to." He turned his gaze back to her, smiling sheepishly. "So, I guess I've come to bother you. But only because I want to make sure you're okay."

Rumpleteazer turned away and rested her head on her knee, not able to meet his eyes. "I'm okay, I guess. I just wanted some time to cool off so I wouldn't stay mad at Dad." She paused, a lump hardening in her throat.

"I know you probably don't want to hear this, but what he said, that's not actually what we want for you."

"What do you want, then?"

"Just that you're safe and happy. Whatever that looks like for you, we can deal with."

"Well, then why didn't he just say that?"

Asparagus took in a deep breath. "Nobody's perfect, apricot." Rumpleteazer felt a rush of heat to her cheeks and blinked away a stray tear. "That's why there are two of us, so in case one of us mucks it up, you have the other one to talk it out with." She could hear his voice get strained, like he too was struggling to speak. "Can I tell you something?"

She nodded, turning her head to look at him again. The sun had set enough now that he was cast in shadow, only his eyes reflecting the last specks of light in the sky.

"We were never mad at you, or disappointed. But we were scared, very very scared, that you might—" He broke off, and the next moment she was hugging him, burying her face in the fur of his chest; and he held her close. She had no idea how long they stayed like that, but when she finally lifted her head, night had settled in around them, the streetlamps illuminating the world below in pools of warm yellow light.

Rumpleteazer chuckled, wiping the corners of her eyes. "I think dinner might be ready by now." She stood up, offering her father a hand, which he took gratefully, and they began walking back together.

"Yes, I expect we'll be in for quite a scolding. And, if you wouldn't mind, I'd rather he not know I was climbing about on the roof."

"Your secret's safe with me, Da. Just so long as you can slip me an extra piece of pie at dessert."

"I think that can be arranged," Asparagus said with a grin, closing the window sash. "Now let's hurry, before our food gets cold."

#thank you for the ask! #bombawife #cats the musical #cats musical #my writing #rumpleteazer #asparagus cats #(her other dad is skimble but y'all knew that) #of course i'm incapable of writing things without making them long and sappy #teazer and her two dads is just such a precious family dynamic i love them so much 💕💕💕

[diaryofassortedimagines]

still with you-

musical beetlejuice x reader smut/fluff

beetlejuice has to take a week and a half long business trip to the netherworld and leaves you his blazer to hug in his absence. when he returns to find you wearing nothing but his coat and humping his pillow in your sleep, things get a tad bit frisky. enjoy!! ;)

“you have to go, beej?” you pouted.

“yeah, babes… unfortunately i do.” he shrugged and pulled you into a soft, but meaningful hug.

“what are you even doing there anyway?” you asked him. he grumbled and held you tighter.

“APPARENTLY i’m nOt SuPpOsEd To Be ScArInG sO mAnY tInY cHiLdReN, and it’s something called dIsOrDeRlY cOnDuCt, which according to the stupid dead people laws, MaKeS tHe ReCeNtLy DeCeAsEd LeSs CoMfOrTaBlE iN tHeIr NeW hOmE.” you kept it to yourself, but they had a point. “so now i’ve gotta go explain myself and charm my way outta trouble in hell court. guess that’s all court is though, huh babes??” he laughed, but you furrowed your brow in concern.

“you’re going to court?? are you gonna, like, go to jail or prison or something?? how much trouble are we talking beej—”

“woah, woah babes, slow down,” he smiled “these lawmakers of the netherworld are a bunch of jokesters. nothing they ever claim comes through, they’re all cheap talk. and besides, they know i’ve got too much ‘a reputation with the dead and too many clones to be all jailed up like that. they’d rather have me roaming the streets than deal with me in jail.” he made a good point. no one wants to deal with a fussy beej, especially if you don’t love him like you do. your mind eased a little. “don’t worry, babes. i’m not goin anywhere. however…” he grimaced. “time does pass differently in the netherworld, and it’s gonna seem to you like i’m gone for a lot longer than it will to me.” you frowned in dismay.

“h-how much longer is a lot longer?” he chewed his lip for a moment and slumped a little bit.

“‘bout two weeks, babe... i-it could be less. it’s hard to really know. you’re not mad at me are ya, toots?” you were certainly sad, sad that you’d miss out on all your weekly traditions and that you wouldn’t get to see his face and be scared by him every time you came home, but beetlejuice had a way with you to where you couldn’t stay mad at him no matter what he did. it was a blessing and a curse.

“i couldn’t be really mad at you if i tried, beej. just as long as you’ll be back. besides, it’s not as long as i thought.” you were expecting upwards of a month. deep down though, beetlejuice could tell you were trying to hide how bummed out you really were.

“don’t worry, babes, i’ll be back. besides, you’ll always have a little bit’a me with you.” in a snap, his blazer was off his shoulders and now on you, oversized, warm, and beej all over. you giggled.

“i can keep it?” he kissed your forehead as you smiled.

“for now, toots. of course, i’ll be taking a couple pairs of my favorite panties of yours with me in return.” you scoffed a laugh. “nothin’s free babes. lova ya!” he kissed you on both cheeks, gave a laid back wave goodbye, and in an instant, was gone in a puff of green smoke.

you watched the smoke fade away til the very last strand, and reached out to try and grab it before it dissipated, but all it did was recede and blow out from the gust of wind your hand caused. you frowned and made your way over to the couch. holding the jacket tight around your body, still smelling strongly of him--moss, dirt, and a little bit of what may’ve been blood--you plopped down on the couch and laid your head in his spot. you missed him already, and the thought that you could bring him back all with just three words was a temptation so strong that the love you had for him was the only thing that could stop you.

your stomach rumbled deep and you groaned, knowing you have to eat, but dreading it. you drew in a deep breath, doing your best to exhale your sorrows as you expelled the air, and rushed to the fridge. inside, you found a couple plates and bowls, all covered in tin foil, and a chilled note attached to it. from the atrocious handwriting alone, you knew immediately it was from your old BJ. 

“toots,

i haven’t cooked in about 1,000 years,’ you quickly laughed at this and then went back to reading. ‘but i wanted to make my absence seem as short and un-lonely as possible. hope you like it. if not, the deer might eat it. love ya,

                               - your favorite demon, with love

p.s.

more surprises to be found around the house throughout the week. don’t worry, you won’t get em all at once.’

you giggled a little at the stark contrast of his impeccable grammar and his nauseating handwriting, and also the fact that he seemed to forget there weren’t many deer this deep into the city. carefully, you pulled the dishes from out of the puzzle he’d made in the fridge, six of them that he stacked miraculously stably, and set them on the table. you opened them one by one, and they actually all looked quite good. a few things were off, however: everything he made had been dyed green with what you hoped was food coloring, and the mystery green sauce covered pasta had two types of noodles, one black and the other the normal white. another bowl was filled of jell-o, green and very dark black cherry cubes. there was a bowl of chili, which the dye had made look utterly sickly, green dyed pizza rolls that he insisted to have cooked instead of left in the freezer (although there was a note informing you there was more in the freezer), frog in a hole toast with extra green eggs on the side (which did great in the microwave), and corn on the cob he rolled in green butter (he also included a note in this one to let you know that he cooked this by using his own magic to set it on fire in the kitchen).

you laughed and felt a pleasant tingle in your heart. getting to work on heating up those eggs. maybe, you wouldn’t be so lonely after all. 

***

throughout the week, which you’d gotten really great sleep in with the house being so quiet, beej came through on his promise and left you little surprises around the house. one night in particular you came home to find vodka and margarita mix on the counter. another morning you woke up to limp, white and black roses poking your face in the part of the bed he usually slept. he’d managed to sneak a couple videos onto your phone of him, some telling you how much he already misses and loves you, how he’s still with you, and some other not so... pure footage, a new video popping up every day. he also found it hysterical, apparently, to kill or flicker the lights every now and then. even in another dimension he managed to scare you. with all this, including the jacket you never took off other than at work, the week and a half he’d been gone went far faster and easier than expected.

on the last few nights though, the days became harder, and you found yourself wearing nothing but his jacket (not even a blanket with the heat) and clutching his pillow every night, some nights falling asleep with tear dampened hair. you knew that no one would mess with beej in the netherworld, he was too infamous for ruthlessness and no one wanted to deal with him, but you still couldn’t help but worry that something could’ve gone wrong. a god forbidden sandworm, perhaps? what if his charm finally gave out on him and he was in fact imprisoned? what if he wasn’t coming back. after hours, you finally tired of thinking too much, and fell asleep to the sound thoughts of when he’d finally return.

your thoughts were a little too pleasant that night, and to your delight, there he was in your dream, head between your thighs and hands clutching your waist. unconsciously, your bare body humped his pillow that you had your legs wrapped around. your breaths became more and more weighted as his dream state tongue lapped at your most sensitive parts. you were so damn close, seconds away, and almost as if beej could read your mind, he appeared in your bedroom. the moderately loud puff of smoke hadn’t managed to wake you, and beetlejuice was left frozen and wordless as he watched you hump his pillow, wrapped up tight in his jacket. he moaned as you soiled his pillow with your cum, and mumbled his name with a strained grunt. he leaned down a bit and kissed your neck awake before whispering in your ear. 

“you called, babe?” you turned to face him, his wonderful, adorable, insatiable face, and it was then that he realized his jacket was the only thing you were wearing. your eyes both widened, his in shock and arousal and yours in joy.

“beej!” you threw yourself up at him, your arms around him and his around you. you both hummed at the feeling of your warm, bare body pressed tight to his cold form and thin button down shirt. “oh, i missed you, i missed you, i missed you!” you exclaimed between kisses to his cheeks, nose, lips, neck--all of him. he beamed at you.

“told you i wasn’t goin’ anywhere. i missed you too, babes--ow!” you hit him rather hard on his shoulder.

“no, don’t even talk about ‘missing me’! to you it’s only been, what, three days? i’ve been without my favorite being in the universe for a week and a half...” he grimaced, despite his heart warming at his new achievement of “favorite being of the most wonderful person in the universe and beyond.”

“ah, i’m sorry babes. you really did miss me, huh? well, if you moaning my name in your sleep was any indication.” he looked down at your nearly bare form and then gestured to his cum soaked pillow. you felt like you’d just gone down a rollercoaster. “god, babes, i think i like this better than lingerie.” you smirked.

“oh, yeah? too bad, i seem to remember you saying you wanted to keep--”

“keep it, smeep it, i’ll buy a new one! you are never taking this off.” you both laughed together. “now, how ‘bout i make your dreams come true, huh, toots?” his hands snaked up your waist and to your breasts, massaging them with with a delighted hum against your morphing lips. you were moaning at his touch already. how could you not keel for a guy like him, dead or alive? god, you missed this.

his hands moved all over you, and finally as you bucked your hips toward him he reached your aching pussy. you let out an open mouthed moan, breaking the kiss at the very first touch and riding his fingers. he was laughing through an aroused grunt.

“god, you don’t even know how much i missed you.” you yelped and stuttered your hips as his trained fingers almost immediately found your clit. you clenched his shirt and nuzzled your head into his chest, pulling away as soon as his hand wrapped firmly, but too firm, around your throat. he came down to kiss you, his lips muffling your moans. you were close already, so, so damn close. you tensed and your moans stuttered. he knew what this meant of course.

“god, baby, you close already?” he cooed. all you could do was nod, or try to against the clench of his hand around your neck. and then, he stopped. 

“beej!” you yelled and slapped his chest in annoyance. “bj i am not in the mood for this right n--” he took your breath away as he pushed you down and dropped to his knees, yanking you closer to him by your hips, and in an instant his lips were deep in your folds, lapping and sucking messily like you craved all week. you were in too much bliss to be audible, instead only trying to breathe as you came on his tongue. he cleaned up every bit of it and let it melt onto his taste buds. as his lips finally let you go, you were left shaking as he crawled back up to you. sure, you masturbated to those videos of him plenty of times throughout the week, but there was nothing out there like beej. nothing and no one nearly as good. “i love you so, so damn much.” you held his face in your hands and he smiled like a puppy. he loved that you loved him so much. that you adored him.

your hands moved from his face down to his crotch, gently stroking the tent in his pants. he grunted and his body relaxed. in this window of bliss you pushed him off of you and rolled on top of him. you kissed down his neck and began working at the buttons on his shirt, but he stopped you.

“hey, babe, babe, you can get me back tomorrow, yeah? just let tonight be for you, you should get some re--” you shushed him with your finger on his lips.

“just--just shut up and take your clothes off, already.” he chuckled, a little stunned, and with a wave of his hand his clothes were across the room. “oh, well aren’t you just a sight for sore eyes...” he couldn’t help but smile and soften (his heart, not so much his dick, that is) at every compliment, no matter how lewd or dirty. you kissed down his neck and to his chest, leaving a few flicks of your tongue on his nipples as his hands tangled in your hair you moved lower and lower, licking and kissing up and down his soft stomach. your lips you were inches from his cock, but still, you didn’t touch him. instead, you kissed his thighs and the skin around it, starting at the edge, around to the front, and to the sensitive inner portion, his body tremoring. 

“c’mon, babes. stop teasing so damn much.”

‘uh-uh...” you hummed no. you missed him too much. the mossy, salty, earthy taste of his skin, the sound of his moans. “juuust a little longer.” you kept your promise, and after a few more kisses to his thighs and stomach, took his dripping head into your mouth. you both moaned at this. you did mostly because of the satisfaction of finally tasting the slightly rotten precum and woodsy, slightly grass tasting skin. you sucked at him hard as your head lowered and you took more and more of him in.

“oh, fuck, baby~” he grunted and threw his head back. “so, so fucking good.” beej wasn’t afraid to make noise, and as you engulfed him farther and harder, his volume rose considerably and his hand gripped your hair. his hips were bucking as you took almost of him in, choking on his tip, tongue flat against the base of his cock. “holy hell, toots--oh, y-yes, don’t stop, don’t stop.” you giggled at the idea that he thought you’d even imagine stopping. the vibrations of your laugh intensified the pleasure and he tensed, his back arching off the bed as you picked it up to top speed and hummed around his cock. he came into your mouth with a deafening moan and a tight squeeze to your hair. “so... so fucking perfect.” you swallowed his salty, “acquired taste” cum and gave him one last lick up the base of him, swirling your tongue around his head to make sure you didn’t miss any. “you.. you are unreal.” you lifted yourself up and straddled his hips.

“you got that right.” you smiled as you took him by surprise and moved his cock to your entrance, the erect member sliding against your soaked folds a couple times. you inhaled sharply through your mouth and moaned as he spread your tight pussy, a burning sensation you missed so much, eased with your slick. he was whimpering and groaning endlessly as you slunk your way all the way down. you were breathless by that point, and soon after lifted yourself up before dropping back down onto him, over and over, slowly picking up more speed. you were both making obscene, horrific sounds of sex, and before you could let out another moan he flipped you over, cock still buried deep inside you and now pounding into you at a mind bending, merciless speed. “oh—fuck! oh my g-god bee, that’s so fucking good.”

“yeah? bet you missed my cock, didn’t you??” he grunted between stuttered whimpers. all you could do was moan in affirmation. “my perfect fucking whore.” you were already close again, your walls fluttering and clenching around him. at the new sensation, he felt the same rope in his stomach tighten. “god, i’m so fucking c-close, toots.”

“m-me too.” you whimpered. the room filled with the sound of skin against skin and obscene sounds of pleasure.

“cum with me, baby, please?? for me.” his hand moved to your clit as he continued to slam his hips into yours, and that was all it took for you to fall off the edge for the third time that half hour. as you came, you felt him tense at the same time as he began to pull out of you. you didn’t let him go, however, and wrapped your legs behind his back so he’d cum inside you. the room seemed to go quiet for both of you in your climax, slowly returning as you came back down to earth. “oh, baby.” he said. you were wordless. collapsing beside you, the both of you sighed in slight disappointment as he slid out of you. he put his arm out for you to lay on and you nuzzled into his bare chest.

“i am so fucking glad your back... missed you so much.”

“me too, babe.” he sighed in contentment. “so what’d you think of the pasta? too al dente?” you chuckled. 

“they were perfect, bee. everything is perfect.”

end

man, i like this one, ngl

#beetlejuice #beetlejuice the broadway musical #beetlejuice x reader smut #beetlejuice x you #musical beetlejuice #beetlejuice beetlejuice beetlejuice #beetlejuice x reader #beetlejuice x you smut #musicaljuice #alex brightman x reader #alex brightman

[bengiyo]

Love Tractor Eps 5 & 6 Stray Thoughts

Last week, Ye Chan taught Sun Yeol how to pick strawberries and then they held a class for kids. Sun Yeol is not good with kids and was super rude to a girl who already felt isolated from her peers. She ran away, but Sun Yeol found her and injured himself while trying to help her (even though he was the one who further alienated her). Ye Chan and the community rallied to take care of Sun Yeol while he was injured, and our poor farmer got his little heart broken when he learned that Sun Yeol maybe has a lover in Seoul.

Episode 5

Oh good. Ye Chan only had a partial blackout. I don’t like when characters don’t remember anything.

Still a fan of the village head. Recommending that Ye Chan back off of Sun Yeol if he’s taken is the right advice.

It’s actually very fun for Ye Chan to rush to Sun Yeol when he calls for help, because Sun Yeol asking for help seems like a big step for him.

Oh ho! A hot boy has arrived!

Alright, fuck Sun Yeol’s dad. He broke up two gay musicians and forced his son to give up music. You also slap your son in public like this?

I feel bad for Inseo. He found a creator he admired and grew close to him. The Koreans are determined to give me second lead syndrome.

Ope. Inseo moved on. What in The Red Violin (1998) is going on with this emotional whiplash this episode?

I love how obviously Ye Chan’s feelings emanate from him. I like seeing characters who never needed to learn to mask.

I don’t care for Inseo. Kindness costs so little. There’s no need to be rude.

This show is getting as bad as Thailand with the dramatic changes in lighting between scenes. It’s suddenly night time?

Even the doctor is mad about Inseo being here. He said, “Where’s big gay man who was taking care of you? This twink looks unreliable.”

That’s right, Ye Chan! Don’t let that mean twink convince Sun Yeol to go back to Seoul!

Episode 6

Ye Chan’s mom is so intense. She’s not the sit around and chat about our feelings type, I guess.

I like him telling Ye Chan to go inside and wait. I thrive on hope.

This breakup scene is pretty affective even with how little time we’ve spent with them. They both gave up things to be together and it just didn’t work.

Timeline is a bit hard to track, but it seems like they haven’t seen in each other in a while.

Big fan of the “sweat yourself into exhaustion so you can rest” approach. It’s the best part about volunteering for me.

Okay, Village Head, I see you and your veiled insinuations.

It’s a party!

It’s getting hot in here, so take off all your clothes!

Oh BL dream sequences, my belothed. At least this one was obvious.

Ye Chan is so helplessly gay. I love him.

Look at our brave farmer admitting his feelings even if he’s scared!

Okay, I will say I really liked the way Inseo was used this episode as a warm up for dealing with the dad stuff before the end of this. This show is actually pretty cute.

#love tractor #korean bl #bl series #Ben watches

[epitomereally]

six sentence(+) sunday

I was tagged by the brilliant @tackytigerfic for a wip snip a month ago & then that month was lost in a haze of writing. I'm now nearing 50k, which is where I thought I would be done, and I am definitively not, so finally here's a lil wip snip. Tacky's incredible snips here and here. I've also loved following both @wolfpants (here) and @lettersbyelise snips (here). Cannot wait for all of these full fics and/or any more wip snips you all want to share—please consider yourselves officially tagged if you'd like (and anyone else who wants to share!)

cw: discussion of sex, totally unedited

“Alright!” Harry had enough of Malfoy’s stupid, gorgeous face, his grey eyes, his long, lean body. “Alright, just stop being an arsehole for one second. Please!”

The ‘please’ seemed to actually work. Malfoy shut his gob and looked at Harry, extremely peeved. When Harry didn’t continue, completely unsure about how to proceed, unsure about why he was about to propose this, Malfoy rolled his eyes. “Your time limit is up, Potter. Why are you staring at me like a scared Bowtruckle?”

“Er …” Harry blushed. Malfoy just raised an eyebrow. “I guess I’ve been thinking about what you said, earlier.”

“When earlier, Potter?” Malfoy snapped. “If you hadn’t noticed, we’ve been spending eight hours together every day for the last couple weeks and, before that, we have a whole ignominious history.”

“Earlier, as in when you proposed, er, ‘experimenting’?” Harry used his fingers to make air quotes around experimenting, and truly couldn’t feel any more awkward. “Together?”

Malfoy’s whole countenance changed. His body loosened up and he smirked, which looked unfairly sexy on his face, especially given how much Malfoy had tormented Harry with that smirk on his face for Harry’s entire life. He asked, smoothly, “Oh? Have you? What exactly have you been thinking?”

Harry’s face blazed red and he almost worried Malfoy was using Legilimency on him, given the dirty thoughts that were racing through Harry’s mind, all of his stupid fucking fantasies since Malfoy had proposed this original deal. How he had thought about Malfoy while he had his hand on his cock. How Harry was becoming a little hard already, just at Malfoy’s smirk.

Even if his face was bright red, he was not going to let Malfoy just walk all over him. Trying to play nonchalant, he shrugged back. “Just that it seemed like an alright idea. If, er, you were still interested.”

“Still interested?” Malfoy repeated back, incredulous. His eyes were focused right in on Harry’s eyes and high spots of color appeared on his cheekbones. He fumbled with his robes, not taking his eyes off Harry’s face, and pulled out an old-fashioned pocket watch like the wanker he was. He glanced down and said, all in a rush, “It’s 3:30 right now, Potter. I think we could reasonably take off early and no one would know.”

“What?” Harry blurted out. “You were thinking right now?”

Malfoy gave him a sly look from under his eyelashes, which were so pale that they were almost invisible, but Harry could tell how long they were and that was driving him mad. “Shall we make a date on our calendars instead, Potter?”

“No—o,” Harry drew out. He suddenly knew that, if he didn’t have Malfoy right now, if they scheduled some date in the future, he would be absolutely useless with wanting until then.

#tis the damn season wip snip #posts i actually wrote

[sleepy-achilles]

@theundertakeriscoming

Hbtaker- Scary Vistors

------------------------------------------------------------------

Shawn knew he was supposed to be retired. But when hunter invited him to work at nxt he couldn't help it. And well Taker wasn't mad so he didn't feel as bad. Taker understood. He was still wrestling and shawn didn't like being alone.

Taker hadn't been able to stop by nxt yet. As in a few years have passed since Shawn started. It made Taker feel bad because Shawn always visited him. So he decided to stop by.

Taker looks around the building. It's small. Nice. He then spots some of the kids and a evil little idea grows. He fades into the shadows with a smile.

"Man this sucks" Adam mutters, belt hanging from his hand. "Why?" Finn asks. "Because you know they'll give drew the belt if he does come back." Adam states. "You don't know that. He was vinces chosen one, not hunter or shawns" finn chuckles. Adam just huffs and adjusts his belt against his shoulder. Both men pause as the lights flicker above them. "Finn.." "not me. Hunter did say some work was being done. Maybe it's that" Finn shrugs going to move forward when the doors around them start opening and slamming. "What the fuck!" Adam yells grabbing finn arm and running off.

Taker chuckles as he steps out of the shadows. He looks down the hall to see Rhea Ripley and Dakota Kai walking into the canteen. "Lets see how tough you are rhea" Taker chuckles moving away.

"Yeah but I'm nxt champ and that's all that matters. None of these scare me" Rhea huffs setting the belt down on the table. "I will say its cool how hands on shawns became. He was almost shy at first and now look at him" dakota smiles. "I feel bad, he's amazing but he's so insecure with himself" Rhea admits as she sits down. "I heard the old man comment. As if he still hasn't got it. He's hbk!" Dakota cheers. "Got you out here sounding like John cena" Rhea smirks. The girls pause as the water fountain turns itself on. "Uh..." Both jump as the table flips. "What the fuck!" Rhea yells standing up. A chair flies and hits the wall. "Fuck this! Cmon!" Dakota yells grabbing her arm.

Taker can't help but laugh as they run off.

--

"Hunter!" Finn yells as the run into the office. Shawn lifts his head. "Hunters having a meeting with the big guys, what's wrong?" Shawn asks standing up. "Hunnner!" Rhea yells running in. Shawn stares a the four superstars who are clearly scared. "What happened?" Shawn asks. "Flickering lights and then doors opening and slamming!" Adam states. "The water fountains turning on before table and chairs went flying!" Dakota adds. Shawn stares at them. "Its the truth!" Finn snaps. Shawn looks as Johnny walks in. "You got a guest...a really cool...badass guest" Johnny whispers. Shawn smiles as Taker walks in. "Takes" Shawn smiles. "Hey baby" Taker smiles walking closer.

The younger watch in Awe as the bigger man kisses their boss. "Its the undertaker. Wow." Rhea whispers. Taker chuckles and looks at them, resting his hand on shawns lower back. "Finally got the time to come check this place out." Taker states. His eyes examine them. "You all look like you've seen a ghost" and one and one immediately clicks in shawns head. "Yes, well I'm sure whatever it is, is over now." Shawn states. "Aren't you even going to check?" Finn asks. "What is this? Me checking for monsters under the bed? No. Go get ready for the show, if it happens again tell me and I will deal with it" Shawn promises. "You promise?" Adam asks. "Yes, I promise. But I also promise it won't happen again" Shawn tells them.

"It was really cool meeting you sir." Rhea smiles at taker. "Prove it by putting a hell of a show on tonight." Taker tells them. "Yes sir!" The all reply before rushing out. Shawn huffs. "You should come around more often. It's like a daycare around here" Shawn states moving back to the paperwork. "Piece of cake" Taker smiles resting against his back. "I guess so when you spend time scaring them" Shawn states. Taker chuckles and kisses his neck. "Just havin a little fun. I can tell you that Adams worried about Mcintyre coming back and finn has promised he has nothing to worry about because you wont favour drew and that Rhea and dakota wish they could take your insecurity away" Taker tells him. Shawn smiles slightly. "Pain in my ass but good kids. The lot of them." Shawn states.

Shawn turns to taker. "Stop scaring my kids" Shawn scolds. Taker chuckles and kisses Shawn softly. "Yessir" he mumbles. "Now show me what you do" Taker smiles. Shawn smiles and takes his hand.

#wwe #shawn michaels #the undertaker #wwf #hbtaker #undertaker x shawn michaels #shawn x undertaker #triple h #adam cole #finn balór #dakota kai #rhea ripley #johnny gargano #nxt

[anaja-theratbird]

For a classmate.

It’s been a while.

There’s no right or wrong time to send an apology to someone you’re no longer in contact with, so I guess it’s now. I wish I’d treated you better. True, we were young with our share of trauma and baggage, and we didn’t know how to communicate. Doesn’t make the wish go away.

When I met you, I saw a quiet and intelligent woman who shared similar interests with me. I saw someone who looked up to me, who liked being around me, who enjoyed the frankly ridiculous ways that I saw it upon myself to entertain you and make you happy. Underneath that woman, however, was a very hurt person who needed help I couldn’t give. I’m sure you figured it out if you looked back on it, that I was in denial. I got a rush from being the one to make you happy, from feeling like I was helping you, that I didn’t listen to you when you had opinions or feelings that contradicted with my own stuck-on-one-track life. I was selfish doing that, as I had my own baggage that was too painful to address yet.

In truth, I hoped in the beginning that if I made you happy enough, you would seek out help with the things that I couldn’t help with. Well, human beings are more complicated than that, and I’m sure it would feel like a betrayal if you knew back then. You saw a friend, not someone doing that. I even thought a few times “I’m the parent here” which…what. I don’t want to be a parent, so what was I doing trying to be one at eighteen years old?

When we started having disagreements, I didn’t know how to communicate. I’d bottled up a lot by then, and I’m pretty sure you did too. Once in particular I didn't mean what I said, I was just mad. In truth again, I was scared about what might happen if I tried to walk away from you. Because I know what it’s like to be that intensely silent, hurting person who just escaped from major trauma. You didn’t tell me much about your past, but believe me, you’re a survivor.

Even though I knew what it was like, I didn’t slow down to be honest with myself and admit that I couldn’t give you what you needed, when you were ready to receive it. Being with you helped me stifle my own problems. It would have been better off for both of us if I’d wished you luck, said I was sorry, and walked away. Instead I stuck around, and it slowly made things go bitter and resentful.

By then, I was a different person than when we met. I want you to know it is not because of you. I’d spiraled into a negative mood, negative mindset, negative everything. By junior year I was suicidal, something I didn’t realize until recently. I’d been hurting myself every day, all day, and you had to deal with some fallout from that. Sorry.

And like. I didn’t have to be scared of what you might do if I walked away. I was wrong about that too.

Another thing…you were right for thinking I was lame for having that goofy “can’t we all get along” mindset. Like I said, I had baggage back then, and felt like I had to be a good little girl who let people walk all over her. To me, my life’s purpose was to serve. When we started hanging out again after that one gap, I had turned into an anxious wreck who was desperate to serve people for approval—hate to say it, but it’s true. Sorry you had to fake it to validate me.

At graduation, I think we both knew we let things go on too long. Did you feel the same emptiness I did when we hugged each other goodbye, I wonder? When we left each other wasn’t a great moment, I must say, and I hope your life has gotten better since then. I hope you found people who can help you finally be the You that you want to be. And if you’re already there, then great! Keep at it.

So, I want to say…you’re smart, like wicked smart, and it’s lucky for everyone else that you use it for good (usually). I love the belief you have for your field, and the purpose you feel in doing it. I admire your intensity in sports, even when everyone else is casual—you’re here to hit the high score. And I really appreciate when you told me your favorite thing about me was my passion. No one ever told me that and I’m glad to have heard something from the authentic you, the one who felt like you could speak. Your kindness for animals is always something to admire, like when you told me you looked for an adult cat instead of a kitten to adopt. I’m glad you’re always with cats in your life, and I’m glad you had a good dog.

I’m glad there was someone in college who I could share my love for Pokémon with. Flareon is an awesome critter and her weird stats don’t matter. Thanks for the movies, thanks for the discussions, and sorry for the promises I didn’t keep. I’m sorry for not listening to you, especially when you really needed it. I hope that someday you get to watch that Broadway show with that one family member of yours. I especially hope you found something to use with your great love of music. You didn’t seem to think you deserved to back then, but I there’s nothing wrong with enjoying bagpipes on campus.

You have a lot to say, and who knows, someday I might watch a movie or read a book about it. Well, I don’t know what else to say. May your path be bright, I guess.

[thatfuzzyfamiliarspace]

Just gonna keep living in that little 5-10 minute window when he got back. That was the bestest feeling I’d had in so long. That want he had for me, the playfulness, everything. I got so deep into a sub zone but then afterwards I just dropped like mad. All the anx I’d had while he had been away came crashing back into my head straight after. I didn’t know how to act. My brain kept telling me things were different. Kept tryna prove this stupid bias.

It crushed me what he said last night. How I had made him feel. But not only that, him saying I was the problem. I was saying thoughts I shouldn’t have. I was manifesting them.

I just feel like I fucked up on day 1. I just wanted to settle back into us. I wanted to do nice things for him, I had the evening envisioned in my head. We were just gonna lay together and hold eachother for an hour or so, talking about the time apart. I wanted it to just get really intimate without the sex, I wanted that tension lingering in the air. I wanted that playful side of him, that eagerly wanting side of him to show and not be for a brief moment. I wanted to bake the treats I thought so hard about. I tried to make something he’d love. I’d made them twice this week and they came out great. Maybe because I rushed to make them when he called me to say he had left. Idk. But I just wanted him to eat them and be like “omg this is the nicest thing” not like the utter most best but be wow’ed or something. I proper focused on that, he said it was something he wanted me to do for him, bake him stuff. I made lemon coz that’s his fav. I tried to make soft bake coz that’s his fav. It meant a lot to me and his response was “it’s just a cake”. It just wasn’t nice to feel like a failure when I was already so on edge and feeling anxy and the one thing I tried hard on just flopped. He said I put no effort in, didn’t show him any love. But I was trying. I tried to tell him it would be different when he came back. Because it was for me, it takes time for me to readjust. I still felt upset for him not being around for so long. I understand all his reasonings for why he couldn’t talk etc. but I still felt how I did. I did feel abandoned. And I took care of myself throughout that. I’d put a wall up coz I felt hurt. I can’t just knock that down the second he walks through the door. I’m annoyed at him drinking to such an excess. Annoyed at him smoking without mentioning it to me. Annoyed at him flirting with grim older women and then telling me days after ? Maybe it’s unfair, but I just can’t deal with separation for that period of time. All the little things get amplified. I don’t know how to word it to him. He’s me favourite person. My world revolves around him. So when he’s not there, when I don’t hear from him, it sends me into a spiral. And I think I done super well coping. He said I had expectations, but so did he. He wanted more physical contact, he wanted me to show more stuff. It’s a two way thing. We both had ideas of how eachother were gonna be when he got back. I just hope I can move past all these shitty feelings. I woke up so stressed and anxy that I’d pissed him off, that he’d be like “wasn’t even worth it coming home”. Maybe he’d realised he hasn’t actually missed me that much. Idk my head is going mental thinking all these things and he says I shouldn’t say them to him. So I’ve either gotta vent it here or just bury it and ignore it… but it’s not so easy. Everything has heightened so much these last ten days. Lots of old habits coming back. Lots of. What I’ve traits unraveling. I wish I could just redo yesterday. But I can’t. And I’m just worried it’s gonna be a trend of me fucking things up again today and tomorrow. I’m shit scared of actually being clingy how I want to me, diving full on into giving that affection and then him saying he’s tired or his mood is off or he needs to catch up on his messages from his phone. Just anything like that. I guess I’d rather amplify my “silly thoughts” and sabotage stuff than actually feeling hurt or dismissed by him and it actually coming from him, and not me instigating it.

How do I make it better today. I want to not be grumpy, but I’m super emotional. I want to give him affection and spoil him. I’m just worried about so much. And I feel like I can’t even talk to him about it anymore. I’ll just have to see how today goes and if it ends in tears again

[aechteaseawb]

self-indulgent kaizoku re dealing with arguments

He leaves his coat, of all things, a pool on Kaito’s floor. The window is open, and the curtains flail in the night wind.

“Zox?!” He rushes to the window sill and leans out over, and wait, stupid! Zox’s ship flies. Kaito looks up into the clear sky and glances around. There’s no sound either. If the CrocoDaiOh were here at all, it clearly isn’t anymore- blasted off out of the atmosphere.

And Kaito can’t help but feel like maybe he messed up. Zox looked really angry at him. Kaito isn’t used to Zox being angry at him. He only realized that just now. Why would he leave his coat, though? Kaito sinks to a squat slowly, and collects the coat into his arms. It’s lighter than it looks, already cold, though. It’s an empty container in his arms.

Suddenly Kaito feels so so alone.

He’s not by any means a stranger to cold lonely nights, but it’s been years since he last felt this… well, abandoned. And what an ugly word! His parents didn’t abandon him, and neither did Zox, but there’s a petulant child inside of him that whines otherwise.

He’s not being fair, and Kaito really hates being this way.

He buries his face in the fabric. The golden scales sting his cheeks. It’s not comforting, but he needs something right now, some substantial evidence that there’s something left, that Zox didn’t take every part of him away-

“Kaito?” A familiar, disgruntled voice rings with confusion behind his back. “What are you doing with my coat? Nothing weird, I hope.”

“Zox!” He turns around quick, scared that somehow he would miss if there were even just milliseconds of delay, and the expression on his face must be intense enough that Zox falters.

“What?”

“You’re here.”

“Why wouldn’t I be?”

Kaito isn’t sure how to explain to him- how he thought he’d left, because he thought it was a reasonable and natural thing to do for a world pirate, and how terrible it felt to hold resentment over that. So he looks to the open window. “I thought you left.”

“By jumping out the window?” Zox makes a funny face, before shrugging. “I guess I could do that.”

“Why didn’t you?”

“Kaito, are you asking me why I didn’t jump out a window? I thought residents of this world generally don’t jump out from windows.”

“Yeah, but you’re not from here.” And Kaito really doesn’t know why he feels the need to get to the bottom of this. Isn’t it enough that his assumption was wrong and Zox didn’t abandon- leave and he is in fact still here in Kaito’s room? Why does he need to know why people stay? Is it a stupid thing to ask? Kaito feels like it might be a stupid thing to ask.

“No.” Zox answers. “And frankly I’m not too sure where you’re going with this.”

“I mean-” Kaito explains. “You could’ve left. If not through the window then through the door. You looked like you didn’t want to talk to me.”

“Leave without my coat?” Zox points to the bundle still in Kaito’s grasp.

He quickly lets go and hands Zox his coat back. He doesn’t put it on, however, like Kaito anticipated.

“And you’re right.” He says. “I didn’t want to talk to you. So I took some time to cool down, and now it’s fine.”

“It is?”

“I’m still mad.” Zox says. “But I don’t need to try to intimidate you, so I might as well preserve some energy. I’ll probably yell at you some more later, but mostly to emphasize my point.”

“Oh, alright.” Kaito answers dumbly. He feels like he hasn’t entirely caught up with the situation just yet.

“You know, Kaito, back in Piratetopia, my father used to tell us to not stay angry at people we care about. Because we never know if one of us is going to die while never having made up. In that environment, things like that happened a lot.” Zox tells him. “We’re no longer in Piratetopia, but I still think it’s good advice in general. Plus, you’d definitely worry if I left without a word, right?” He looks a bit sheepish now. “I thought leaving the coat should be a good enough indication, but I guess not. Should I leave a note or something in the future?”

And Kaito surges forward to hug him, solid and warm. “You had a good father.”

“The best, Kaito.”

“Tell me about your coat?”

“The coat? That’s a strange topic change. It was the first thing we’d tailored…”

#zenkai #ficlet

[poguesholland]

Hey could you write something for Harrison where you really like him but the last person you were with rejected you so your scared to tell him

“Fucking tell him already, Y/N” Tom groaned, cutting you off. He was sick of hearing you talk about Harrison over and over with no intention of acting on your feelings. This had been going on for a year now and all your friends were so done with this.

You let out a laugh, thinking Tom was being sarcastic. “Sure, Of course Tom, great idea” You spoke sarcastically only to look at Tom and realize that he wasn’t joking. Not the slightest bit. “Are you joking? There’s no way I could ever tell him. Not after what happened with Alex” You shook your head, the idea of Harrison ever finding out how you feel almost bringing you nightmares.

Alex was a guy you had liked last year. You two were the closest anyone could be and naturally, you developed feelings for him. Everyone thought that the feeling was mutual. But when you told Alex how you felt, he shot you down in the worst way possible. He broke you.

“You what?” Alex spits, as you began to feel like he wasn’t too happy about what you were saying. “I, I like you” You repeat, with less confidence this time. Alex shakes his head, raising his eyebrows with a look of frustration displayed on his face. “I can’t fucking believe this” He mumbles under his breath, hands going through his hair. You stand there, not really believing the way he was reacting right now.

“Alex-” You start but he cuts you off, “Just shut up!” He yells at you making you flinch. Alex grabs his stuff and quickly walks towards the door, his shoulder bumping into yours. “Why would you ruin this?” He asks, angry with you for ‘ruining’ your friendship. “You made me think you feel the same way! Don’t act like I’m some crazy bitch who likes you!” You retort. “How could I ever feel the same way about you?” Alex spits, and your heart dropped to the floor and he slammed the door.

“We both know Harrison would never do what Alex did, Y/N, if you don’t tell him I will”. You raise your eyebrows at Tom, believing that there was no way on Earth that what he was saying could be true. “The boys and I are sick and tired of hearing you bitch about how you much you like him, so if you don’t tell Harrison by the end of the week, I will.” Tom deadpanned and you turned as pale as a ghost.

Tom gets up from the table, making you scramble to get up and follow him. “Tom! Tom, you’re- No, you’re joking. Right? Tom, no!” You pleaded and he turned around to face you. A smirk plastered on his face as he saw the fear in your eyes. “Bye, Y/N” Tom leaned on to leave a kiss on your cheek as you froze in place, crossing your hands over each other. You raised the finger at him, only making him laugh.

How could you possibly tell Harrison how you felt? What would you even say? How could you deal with him not feeling the same way? What if it ruined your friendship? What if he laughed at you? But a little part of your brain thought the opposite, what if he felt the same way?

Three days go by and you were yet to say anything to Harrison. Tom and the boys were keeping a close eye on you, giving you a warning look when you two were alone and you left to avoid saying anything. They had been trying their best to make sure that you two were always left alone for as long as possible, in an attempt to give you as many opportunities as they could. But, alas, nothing worked.

“Tom, do you wanna help me get something from the kitchen?” Harry rushed as he quickly got up from the couch. Tom immediately followed, “Yeah! I need-Um, some ice, yeah ice”. Harrison looked at them skeptically and you gave them a death glare. Now it was just you and Harrison on the couch.

Harrison laughed lightly, “What’s up with those two divs?”. You forced a laugh, covering up the anxiousness you were feeling at that moment. “No idea” You raised your eyebrows, but Harrison could tell that you were acting weird. Your hands rub your arms, trying to rid yourself of the nervous goosebumps beginning to appear on your body from the tension between you two.

“Y/N, is everything-” He starts but you shoot up off of the couch. “I need some ice!” You stutter out, rushing to the kitchen only to be met with a glaring Tom and Harry. You walk past them like nothing was wrong but Harry gives you a smack on the head. “Ow! What the fuck, Harry!” You yelp in pain, clutching your head to try to relive it. “Tell him” They both whisper-yell at you before leaving, making you huff.

Every time you almost said something, you could genuinely feel your throat dry up and words would not come out of your mouth. But as those three days went by, you found yourself trying harder and harder to just spit it out.

Harrison didn’t know why you were being so distant lately. You two were always together, always sitting beside each other, always taking naps together, always going everywhere together, but that was not the case anymore.

You rested your head against the couch, sprawling your legs out in front of you. Harrison and you continue watching the movie intently, the popcorn he had made already finished while the movie had another hour to go.

Harrison shifts to find a comfortable position and is unsuccessful, so he turns to lay his head on your lap and put his legs up on the couch. This was how you always watched movies but as soon as Harrison did so, you shot up from your position feeling panicked.

Harrison’s head hits the couch making him groan, reaching a hand up to rub his head. He looks up to say something to you, but you were already long gone and out of sight. Hurt fills Harrison’s chest as he was now sure that something was up with you.

You unlock your door, walking into your shared apartment. Immediately, you take notice that your roommates were nowhere to be seen as you close the door. However, you were proven wrong when you walk into the kitchen to see Harrison, making you jump up. “Shit, Haz! You scared me!” You exclaim, putting a hand over your heart as you laugh. His heart hurt once he heard his nickname leave your mouth, it’s been days since you said his name. It was his favorite sound coming from you.

The laugh on your face quickly falters as Harrison doesn’t respond, not even making the effort to turn around to look at you. You furrow your eyebrows, “Hello?”. No response. You walk around the kitchen counter to stand next to him, but he continues cutting up the vegetables he was cooking. “Harrison?” You call out but he doesn’t even turn to acknowledge your presence.

“Is something wrong? Did I do something?” Your voice quiet as you watch him, not even phased by you talking to him. “Talk to me Haz, please?” You call out again and Harrison drops the knife on the cutting board, huffing in frustration. He turns to face you with an angry look on his face, making you even more confused.

Harrison raises his eyebrows, “So now you want to talk to me? No, I’m sorry, now you feel like talking to me?”. You look at him with confusion, “What? I always want to talk to you. What are you talking about?”. He shakes his head, crossing his arms in disbelief as he looks at you.

“Harrison?” You question him again when you don’t get an answer. “Don’t fucking Harrison me!” He yells in frustration but lowering his voice after he realized, “Just don’t”. Unintentionally, you flinch at his loud voice. You rest your elbow on the kitchen counter, trying to figure out what he was talking about and what got him so mad.

A huff of defeat escapes your lips, “What the hell are you talking about?”. Harrison clenches his jaw and bites the inside of his cheek. “You haven’t talked to me all week, you run away when I enter a room you’re in. As soon as we’re alone, you leave. You can’t even look me in my fucking eye, Y/N! And now you want to talk to me?”.

You immediately shut up, looking anywhere but at Harrison as you feel ashamed of yourself. Harrison moves closer towards you, looking into your eyes as you try to keep your composure, avoiding his eyes. He looks at you for any sign of a response, but shakes his head when he doesn’t get one. “I’m not fucking doing this right now” He mumbles under his breath, walking out of the kitchen.

“Tom told me I have to tell you about my feelings for you before the end of the week, or he will” You sigh, not sure if you even thought that whole sentence through before saying it. Harrison freezes in his place as he tries to register what you just said, there was no way. No, this didn’t make any sense.

He turns around to face you and your eyes meet, your eyes full of fear that this would be the end of your friendship. “I couldn’t talk to you all week. I- Um, I was too nervous to be around you and couldn’t bring myself to tell you, but here we are I guess” You ramble quietly as Harrison stares at you with a dumbfounded look.

“About your feelings for me..” Harrison tries to comprehend and you nod, waiting for any sort of response from him. His silence was killing you. “I didn’t want to do it, after what happened with Alex-” “Alex is a dick” Harrison retorts, his voice sour at the sound of his name. He absolutely hated him, even before he broke your heart. He hated him even more when you were crying into his chest every night about what Alex did.

He didn’t tell you this but as soon as Tom told him what happened, Harrison went to Alex’s apartment. All of Alex’s neighbors could hear Harrison yelling at him as Alex stood there, like a coward, trying not to cry. Harrison knew you would’ve gotten angry if he told you so he kept it to himself, and swore that any guy after that he would keep an eye out on.

You clear your throat, “Yeah- Um, that’s true. I just- I was scared that you would...”. Harrison continue the sentence for you, “I would do the same thing”. You don’t reply, knowing Harrison was hurt from that comment. “Y/N, I am nothing like Alex, okay? You know that, you know me” He speaks quietly, taking a few steps towards you and you nod.

Your hands grip the counter behind your back as you look at the boy in front of you, trying to digest the information you were saying. “Did Tom tell you why you should tell me?” Harrison asks with a bit of realization in his voice, confusing you. “No, Um- He just said I should tell you how I feel”. Harrison nods, a small smile making its way onto his face.

Staring at him blankly, you try to make sense of why he was smiling. You had just ruined your friendship, was he happy? Relieved? Harrison walks closer until his hands grip the counter behind you, only a few centimeters separating the two of you.

“Did Tom tell you that I feel the same way? That I’ve had feelings for you for almost three years now? That seeing you with any other guy broke my heart? That I wanted to kill Alex for what he did to you?” Harrison asks, his voice quiet. Your eyes widen, thinking that this had to be a joke.

Harrison’s hand slides to yours on the counter, holding it gently. “That I had no idea how he could lose such an amazing girl like you? That I thought he was crazy to not appreciate how lucky he was to have you?”. You open your mouth to say something but nothing comes out. His hand slides up your arm, going to cup and caress your face slowly. You felt yourself shiver at his touch, almost like it was electricity.

“W-Why didn’t you-” “Tell you?” ,He continues and you nod, “Just thought that there was no way you felt the same about me”. You straighten your back, your chests now brushing against each other. “I would be crazy not to love you, Haz” You admit, and Harrison’s hand grips your tighter once you said those two words. “Y/N, be very careful with your words okay? I cant-” He shuts his eyes, leaning his forehead against yours as he tried to control himself.

Your fingers slip in between his, resting on the counter as Harrison opened his eyes. “I know” You state quietly, showing that you were being one hundred percent truthful. Harrison quickly leans forwards to push his lips against yours, making your breath get caught in your throat.

His lips move against yours in perfect sync as he moves closer to you, pressing you harder into the counter and his body. The hand on your cheek moves to your waist and grips it tightly, kissing you needily. A hand of yours goes to his chest to steady yourself.

You slow your lips against his before pulling away to catch your breath. Harrison licks his lips as he looks at you, admiring how beautiful you are. “I love you” He speaks up, and you look up at him. A shy smile finds its way to your face as you bring your arms to wrap around his neck, pulling him closer to you. “I love you too” You whisper against his lips and feel him smile. You lean in to kiss him before both of you smile into the kiss, breaking it.

Harrison brings you in to hug you tightly, holding you so softly, like you were made of glass. You rest your head in the crook of his neck as you take in his warmth. “Holy shit! Tom what did I tell you! Both of you divs owe me a hundred each!” Paddy yells, startling both of you. You move your head to see Tom, Harry and Paddy looking at the two of you, only making you hide your flushed face once again.

“Finally told him, did you? Wonder who gave you that idea” Tom teases and you whine, making Harrison laugh. He holds you close to him before slightly turning around to face the guys, mouthing an excited ‘yes’ and pumping his fist to the air. You feel Harrison shoo them out of the kitchen, just wanting to be with you.

Harrison’s arms hook under your thighs and lift you up, making a squeal leave your lips. You wrap your legs around his waist as he walks towards his bedroom. “No fucking while we’re in the house!” Harry yells making you yell at him, “Harry!”. Harrison only laughs at the two of you and shakes his head, “Only been twenty minutes and you already made a dirty joke, Harry”.

“Ignore him, love” Harrison mumbles against your cheek as you giggle. The nickname makes butterflies appear in your stomach. You were grateful that your friends had pushed you to tell Harrison how you felt. Because what else would you need other than this?

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