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#and i dont want to go socialize
painfordays · 2 months
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Being the only disabled person in a friend group is like. Argues against mental age for 30 minutes without achieving anything because they will die if they cant call developmentally disabled adults 6 year olds. Feel guilty for cancelling plans for disability reasons and making up a lie so you dont have to tell the truth. Get called a cripple after explaining your symptoms. Get told nothing is ever the doctors fault because they work soooo hard and you're just not persistent enough. Realize the only way theyd ever do even minor caregiving tasks for you is if they were paid. Spend an hour arguing against eugenics. Listen to someone talk about a group of disabled people and with every sentence it gets more obvious they never interacted with anyone from this group personally. Get compared to peoples elderly relatives. Get -
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mueritos · 1 month
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i hope we continue to see more protests within the US military. i see a lot of leftists and folks who are anti-military who have such an open disdain for the people who are in the military, yet neglect to considering the conditions this country makes to produce ideology, poverty, and the illusion of choice to make all kinds of people choose to enlist in the military. You ever see those videos of ROTC kids recording each other asking why they joined the military and everyone's like, "healthcare", "it helped me go to college", "I was bored" or "free ptsd lol". I hate to remind everyone but folks who are in the military are people, too, and they are the same victims and perpetrators of violence as the rest of you, we have all been shallowly conditioned to view each other as enemies just because one person is wearing army greens and the other is not.
some of the biggest anti-war advocates are those who engaged in war. Veterans who genuinely believed they were protecting the US against "terrorism" come back with blood on their hands, and they choose to realize that it was US imperialism that forced them to carry out violence, instead of doubling down and shielding themselves from the fact that they too are capable of atrocities... This is a class of people who are intentionally conditioned to be as poor and as ideologically aligned to US imperialism so that the military has a never-ending pool to send their youth to destroy other country's youth. The only people I have ever heard say "do not join the military" are those who ARE military.
This is in no way to ever excuse or explain away any of the atrocious war crimes and violence this industry and its people have committed against others. What I am saying is that we absolutely cannot cast aside the individuals who have been victimized within US imperialism, even if they are wearing army greens. I was speaking with my Palestinian classmate last week and another classmate--a member of the US air force-- walked up to me and struck up a conversation. My military classmate showed me her new bird, bid both of us goodbye, and left. My Palestinian classmate asked me if I was close with her, and I said we talked quite often, and she said, "I never met a person who's in the military. I still hate the military, but I never knew that they did, too. I didn't realize that they were also victims."
If my Palestinian classmate--one who is actively watching her own community die--can understand that it is not individuals who are the problem but it is in fact systems, US imperialism, white supremacy, capitalism...why can't we all? And she has EVERY reason to hate any individual military member. A lot of online activism just creates more barriers. if your optics look bad, complicated, or contradictory, you are cast aside. Everyone has got the be the perfect activist, you can never make a mistake or share a half-baked thought, you should always believe every word from a marginalized persons mouth (because being marginalized doesn't mean you're not entrenched in white supremacy too!) and you should never question what you see...Do you know what you sound like? The very imperialists who are convincing poor whites to vote against themselves. Perfectionism is white supremacy. Black & white thinking is white supremacy.
I'd rather have a military member who genuinely believed in the US imperialism machine but was disillusioned after being deployed as my comrade than some leftist who cherishes the performance of "being a good person". I don't want "good people" in our movements. I want humans who care. I want humans who make mistakes and who learn from them. I want humans who accept the messiness of a person. I want humans who hold others accountable and allow themselves to take responsibility for their actions. I want people who change for themselves and others.
fight systems, not individual people. we can change each other, but if we're too preoccupied looking like the World's Perfect Activists, we will only consume each other alive. Connect to your fellow humans, forever and always.
#muertotalks#a mind dump after seeing so much come out after the self immolation of the us air force member#i know hes not the first one to self immolate for palestine#and he might not be the last#i hate the military#i really fucking do#but i choose to see the people within them as victims within the overall system just like the rest of us#i will never go through what they did to make them choose to enlist#i never struggled with poverty homelessness healthcare or social acceptance#i wont shame them#shame is not productive#i want them to know there are civilians who support their protests#i want them to know that we their allies too#a note on my palestinian classmate#if youre arab or also a colonized person impacted by the us military feel free to hate every member of the military#i dont intend to police yall in how you choose to feel your anger#im angry with you#the point i mean to make is about understanding and compassion#someone who has every right to hate these people still chose to see them as the people they are#yes i even want the best for the “bad” people in the military too#i dont want these people to continue the ideology but we cant stop that without dismantling these systems#and we cant do that without creating spaces for healing and reform and growth#so many thoughts so many thoughts#none of this is easy#i fight daily against impulsively hating the world#everyday is a fight to choose compassion and understanding#but being a leftist and doing leftism is not fucking easy#if you genuinely think it is it isnt#and you may be missing the point of what leftism is#anyway
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moeblob · 10 days
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Sorry I forgot Hanneman suggested Byleth undress after they show up with a different hair color. And I miss Hanneman. And also while swapping between Houses and Hopes and seeing Hanneman pop up to help in a Hopes paralogue is just devastating since he doesn't ever actually join you at all and I am denied my old man rights.
So I had to draw this. Thank you for understanding.
#fe three houses#byleth#hanneman von essar#i like that Byleth just kinda stares at him and he realizes WHAT HE SAID and the implications and is like#step back uh forget that I said that#like man so zoned in on research he blurts that out and has to backtrack mentally to AH socially bad to say that my bad#if i need to tag this as anything lemme know even though it is a conversation in game basically (minus the marriage)#also if you have never married hanneman i genuinely enjoyed his s support and was VERY surprised and hes just#honestly one of my favorites overall in 3h ?? and im still bummed i cant play as him in thropes like thats just mean#also i think if byleth was like oh well if its awkward to see someone undress randomly#then marriage would solve the awkwardness this is truly the best deduction#which is really funny that i can see it happening with both leths despite my hc of them#with fyleth as bi and myleth as ace i think both would just be like AH cool we can avoid awkwardness by marriage#and hanneman just wants to go lie down in a ditch because he said something like that#and and byleth doesnt even know about religion while working at church school they dont know about school regulations#that wasnt really on their mind to check ok just saying you could tell byleth no to something#and then they just go oh school policies i understand unfortunately#and the person is like no we just meant its frowned upon to do archery practice in the tea garden its not technically illegal just dont??
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lucalicatteart · 1 month
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A new sculpture! Finally... I feel like I never sculpt anymore since I'm always sick or have some 500 other things going on or projects to finish, but I'm trying to schedule time to do it more often this year hopefully..! Just a generic fantasy creature as usual, but did try making the eyes a little more sparkly this time.. hrmm..
#sculpture#fantasy art#fantasy creature#art#elf#lol what are the tags I should use... I still never know.. EVIL social media.. hate the idea of tagging anything ever anyway. but alas..#I also would ideally like to start selling them again and open up custom commmissions and stuff again once I can hopefully get paypal#stuff sorted out. and find like.. a good way to do things.. etc.. I did still want to sell them through auction instead of agonizing#over setting prices being afraid they're either too high or too low. So being able to just be like. Here. this is $50. or more. or less.#negotiate. the worth is whatever you feel like it is so i personally dont have to make that decision. etc. lol... But etsy doesn't let you#do auctions or like pay what you want type stuff so.. then I was thinking ebay? but idk.. ANYWAY.. I want to set things#up so I can sell stuff again hopefully. I still haven't fully recovered from the costs of when I had to take my cat to the vet and put#them down last year and etc. So it'd be good to sell a few things. perhaps.. maychance... perhamble... so on and so forthe... ANYWAY#I was going for whiter more milky sort of hair that blends in closely with the skintone but after the paint dried it seems more yellowy kin#of. which is fine. But just not exacltly like my mind vision lol..#Also it's like... wow... someone with face spots and elf ears and a half open mouth with a gap tooth and wavy hair and kind of downturned#eyes... revolutionary... never been seen before... every sculpture I have ever made surely doesnt look licherally exactly like this... LOL#but maybe it's just a style. so what. People have their motifs lol.. Im just getting back into sculpting. I shall sameface in peace. huzzah#Just like the only thing I ever carve out of avocado pits anymore is eyes. Because that's just whats fun to do. I'm going to accumulate lik#25 similar avocado eyes and have nothing to do with them. I was thinking of stringing some together into a necklace of eyes or something li#like that but.. hrmm... ANYWAY.. Love to do the same things repetitively. :3c
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shukruut · 3 days
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🤑
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greencarnation · 3 months
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Printed some fliers and stickers to put up around town tomorrow. Remember that posting isn't the only way to spread awareness and build public consciousness in your area
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miusato · 5 days
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Ahh yes, the autism brothers 🤝🤝🤝
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merverelli · 1 year
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just a couple of dirty bean boys!
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wolfythewitch · 1 year
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If there was a real zombie apocalypse what would you do and would you survive?
I would die. Like immediately. There is no chance of me surviving I would not even try
Like genuinely? I've thought about this and I have very little will to live, I would rather just get it over with.
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pickled-flowers · 24 days
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Also just because you get annoyed by something someone is doing doesn't mean they are evil you can leave us alone
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cryptid-moose · 4 months
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Some Shawn doodles feat. Gus
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moeblob · 2 months
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New OCs
(briefly, humans and supernatural beings have to team up for building better relations with each other and all the supernaturals can shapeshift and take on human appearances but also have their 'original form'.)
OK so I was GOING to draw fanart today - I had a fun idea and everything! But health anxiety (and anti-anxiety meds) wore me out so I kinda .... slogged through OCs as a treat to me. I am going to go to the doctor tomorrow so HOPEFULLY it's all okay.
#my characters#also kite is the worst socially and says things he thinks are surely fitting for a human conversation#but ends up insulting grady with 99% of the comments and that makes grady not fond of him#but then grady is like super pleasant to others and doesnt know how to act around kite and flubs a lot too#its a disaster and the twins are like oh no this is painful#mr tengu that was so tacky you cant say that to a human#mr tengu you cant DO that to a human STOP BEING LIKE THIS#while callum is just like wow this is hilarious thanks for bothering my younger brother its adding character to his life#and kite is stressed because thats the least encouraging thing to hear ever thank you v much hes TRYING to adapt#but also kite isnt his real name and he doesnt know squat about humans BUT he knows they have the internet#and so hes like well the problem is i dont want to actually say my name to you all because what if i am Online (TM)#and so he asks for a new name and then is like he should name me - the tiny one who wants to kick my ass should name me#so grady is like ....... nooooo...... dont............ and then suggests kite bc he's done google research#and kite is a type of bird and according to wikipedia has some familiarity to tengu so therefore yeah#and kite is like !!!!!! DOES HE ! KNOW THINGS ! and happily accepts the slightly researched name while the other humans#are like grady stop that is bullying the poor guy leave him alone pick a normal name!#anyway not drawn yet but there is a human guy partner for the twins and he immediately is like perfect#i know which is which lets go out and explore the human world for your research#and they dont understand how he knows them apart so fast and none of the other humans seem to tell em apart#but then none of the humans are shocked at the guy who knows so the girls are like sir howst do you know#and hes just v casual oh right yeah younger identical twin sisters - i have Practice ! and they are endeared to him haha#anyway if you read all those tags ty#and yes in his tengu form he does actually have the long nose please do not be mad#i just dont draw noses normally and im too tired to practice rn so#i only drew the second one today anyway - the first pic was done a couple days ago but i didnt wanna post on main#but then here i am posting on main#im sorry
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jusiri · 6 months
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Every now and again i have to remind myself that Tumblr hasnt actually made any particularly egregious changes to anything, its mostly cosmetic, and this is just the "i hate any changes" website
Like i dont like the layout change, or the permanent tumblr live button, but those are pretty damn minor
Meanwhile over on Instagram they took away dashboard being only the people you follow ages ago, its like a 90/10 ratio of suggestions to stuff you want
Theyre constantly changing buttons and layouts, the algorithm is some secret thing they don't want anyone to know about, and it changes every other day
Fyp is half videos, with no option for them not to autoplay anymore
Bot problems all over the place, filled with scam accounts and bigots
One of their more recent changes was to take away the option to sort tags by most recent
you can either see Top Posts or Recent Top Posts, and thats it, if your post doesn't get big, youre shit outta luck
Trying to curate your feed and interactions is next to impossible, you can like 1000 pictures in a tag you enjoy and get nothing, but watch 1 second of some shit you don't care about and its all youll get recommended, its a nightmare
And then Twitter is...... Twitter
I dont even know what's happening on tiktok, last i heard they were determining whether you were abusive or not based on eye tilt
Tumblr might be glitchy and broken, and a little pushy at times, but its 1000x more chill than anywhere else at the moment
Staff actually tells you things, i cannot stress enough how much communication we actually get with staff, other places staff consists of a bunch of cryptic people who dont wanna say anything to you ever and/or Elon Musk
If nothing else be deeply deeply grateful we do not have Elon Musk
Thats in and of itself is a true blessing
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flamboyant-king · 21 days
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Hey babes, sorry I've been dead, but I coulda been literally dead if I had not gone.
I didn't hurt myself and we're still figuring things out. I would love to share but I've already forgotten what I've learned. I hope I get more guidance and time for healing and learning on how to lead my life in a better direction than where I was. But that takes time and effort.
I hope to get some rest, get some support, and get it together. But right now, I don't think it's healthy for me to worry about art in the way I do now. I may not express it here, but trying to maintain my art endeavors/projects while there's so much bullshit going on backstage is not helping me. Especially since I'm not even obligated to do so. But trying to force myself to do something I am currently unable to do will just make me feel worse. I'll follow my dreams and passions one day, but I've been putting off the healing process for years.
So I guess it's better to get better now so I can get the ball rolling again. Why drive on a flat tire?
#i was in there for a week and ill continue partial hospitalization for a few weeks#i hope i learn more and i hope i get specific help to my issues. because whay i learned there didnt directly pertain to me#but having structured daily life felt nice. but it wasnt all relaxing because there were still responisibilites on the outside world#tapping on the window or calling me on the phone. chose the best time for a meltdown. i have taxes and credit card bills to take care of#but if i stress about it now ill jsut be going back to the ER and thats no good. the hospital was so cold dude im glad im home with blankets#this is mr octopus again. im glad i broguh hom to work. i went straight to er from work and if i had no plushie with me#i probably would have stayed longer or be even more mentally unstable and distressed. its good to have comfort items#i dont think i want to know ehat if be like without some kind of companion or grounding item with me. i dont want to imagine me without em#its okay to have a little friend with you. i would be so distraught. everyone loved me there#the nurses the patients the residents yhe social workers the students#mr. octopus made them happy because of his big smile and mine too. the people there did not expect the mass amoutns of stress and depression#in this bubbly happy baby witb a happy pink octopus. one of the patients thought it was the meds the happy pills they gave me#no im jsut naturally like this. or artificially like this. i still dont know how to express or understand my feelings#if what im showing is real or not because i know ill be the happiest in the room wherever i go. maybe its a front or a mask#but when im like that kinda hard to know whats really underneath. they always ask me if im okay but i turn to myself#and its nondescript like ive put a blanket over how i really feel. its weird. the bubbly energy is blinding.#words#mr octopus#mental health#doodles
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woobifiedvillain · 11 months
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The idea that Jin Guangyao needs more friends (and that would help solve things) is a misconception I think.
The world sucks for him and makes it difficult or impossible to make genuine friendships, but blorbo is nice. He's smiley! He's polite! He remembers people's names and interests with an obsessive efficiency! He uses this to buy personalized gifts and help people the way they need it most! He's committed to public service and shows affection by solving peoples problems! If you let him.
He is canonically a beloved president and uncle and boyfriend until the ruin-san-ge's-life-revenge plot shows up. Sure he has trust issues but given enough time and actual stability and space it seems like he would chill out! He wants basic respect, he wants people to like him, he knows how people work and how to create and maintain relationships (arguably better than most characters in the novel). In a less shitty world, he would be fine. He can make his own friends, and does so.
The actual interpersonal disaster who could be saved with the power of friendship is Nie Mingjue. My man has. A younger brother and basically one friend, the world's most friend shaped, Lan Xichen. He has. Deputies. Former deputies who occupy a strained and ambiguous relationship status. He's got. Trusted colleagues. I'm not saying he doesn't know how to people at all, it seems like on a purely functional level, he does fine. He's like your manager who shares absolutely nothing about his personal life and has no idea how to show affection or give praise, but, has very clear and set expectations and is literal as hell, and *at work*, that's fine! Great, actually.
But oh boy befriending that person is hard. Also. NMJ doesn't seem to let himself, want friends? Try to make more? Probably some mix of "don't know how" and "don't have time for, anyway (I'm so fine. Totally alright. Just leave me alone.)"
It's canon that his response to LXC being busy rebuilding the cloud recess is forbidding him from coming to play music for him, not because he's mad at LXC, but because he refuses to ask LXC to take time away from an important thing, for him, even as he's dying. He actually doesn't even ask, he tells LXC he's not allowed to help (and LXC obvs wants to and that's how we get JGY playing for NMJ to begin with).
JGY responds to people being nice to him by being really fucking nice in return. He responds to loyalty and respect really really well. Does he have a low threshold for what breaks that relationship off completely and puts him on the defensive? Yeah (and understandably so). But JGYs trauma doesn't manifest as an aversion to explicit kindness or affection! (Especially/so long as it seems genuine). Just look at how he responds to LXC.
NMJ responds to questions about his values by not answering them, and deflecting with anger. He deflects, most questions, almost everything, with anger. Or super formal work boundaries. He knows how to be the figure of responsibility but as soon as someone says oh hey let me help you it's "fine, grudgingly" and then "oh I see you're busy. Stop worrying about me immediately I am so fine leave me alone. I forbid your presence actually. As sect leader. Ha." When he's genuinely distressed his protests are "I know what I'm doing!" which. Given the context is fucked up but it also shows what he's scared of really well. That when he feels threatened he doubles down on insisting he's competent, he can handle it, he can be left alone, stop interfering, leave.
This is just my headcanon but I think part of that is. Terror that he's going to hurt people, that he tries not to directly acknowledge. But he also knows that even if he doesn't kill someone qi deviating he's going to die eventually, probably soon, so - obviously the answer is to push everyone away before that happens, because it'll hurt less when it inevitably does, right? It's fine. Nothing is going to change the end result. There's no point in asking for people to care when it won't change anything, it won't, and they have better things to do anyway, right?
Which is why Huaisang needs to hurry up and be prepared to be sect leader. Because, he's dying faster than he'll let on, but he can't let anyone know that, can't tell Huaisang "you will actually" when his brother says "I'm never going to be sect leader, you can have that, I don't want it", so instead he defaults to anger, and yells about needing to practice saber and storms off. Because actually trying to explain would mean admitting weakness, which might lead to concern, and attempts to care, which is not allowed. (Have you considered that watching you die actually hurts the people you care about no matter what, and pushing them away isn't the answer nor will it make them feel better for having never seen that it was this bad and never acted faster).
Nie Mingjue. Would not make friends, left to his own devices. I don't even think he knows how, or not very well. Lan Xichen was his friend early enough, and they can bond over having to be responsible to their sect/younger siblings really young. But since then, it's just. Not a priority. And it never made sense to make it more of one, because more friends now just means more friends do inevitably hurt and possibly harm in the process of dying, so why bother? It's better not to.
#the gremlin does meta#dont get me wrong i want JGY to get ALL THE LOVE but I really think if he's just. not having an all around terrible time.#creating friendships is not an issue for him. i do think long term. things would come up. i mean obviously he didn't tell LXC things#but even then! that has to do w shitty circumstances/oh no I've murdered myself into a hole. type stuff#obviously whatever happened when they were hiding from the Wen. in relative isolation. was good#and JL adores him as an uncle. and JC has a functional co-parenting relationship. like. he does know how! and hes likeable#NMJ needs people to aggressively befriend him. probably against his will. bc he does not know how to receive affection#this also ties into the whole 'i dont have hobbies/interests! stop asking ' thing. and another reason he's so wary of JGY#NMJ is dont you dare try to make me experience the mortifying ordeal of being known. ill stab you first. personified#contrary to popular belief JGY does not stab people who try to know him. hes extremely devoted. u just gotta not make him feel threatened#also its hard to tell bc of how much their backgrounds shaped them. so idk about JGY. but it seems like NMJ was never the most. personable?#like again maybe in a completely different context he'd be different. but i do think. *that* extent of. not having any relationships. is#telling. my hc is that in a different world. he'd be much less. well. all that#but he still struggles with social implications/managing the complexities of groups. hes also very blunt#i think he'd have more patience/understanding but i also think my man was always a little autistic about it and that didn't help matters#maybe im projecting but i read NMJ as someone who basically needs ppl to come up and go. hey so were friends now#for him to be able to be like. ah yes. finally. a clearly defined relationship. ok i can do that#and then actually once thats established. and if he's not dying. hed do ok! not swimmingly but he can do it#but he needs ppl to kindof. make themselves his friend first#i mean *look* the two relationships he does have. are Lan I will befriend the world to cope Xichen#and Huaisang chaotic little brother who will hang around whether you like it or not#and?? his reaction to even the slightest perceived rejection when JGY is talking to LXC in the tent. about wanting his fathers approval#is to take it VERY personally immediately and go. oh? oh see he wants to leave. you tried to make a friend? colleague? something?#you tried to be nice to someone on purpose and look he wants to leave of course he does. he should actually. ill write you a letter asap#Nie Mingjue
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nofacednerd · 9 months
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I know everyone is giving their two cents on batman appearing in mawsm right now, but honestly I think it would be funny if, like, in season 2 (definitely not season 1 I think that should focus entirely on the main trio before introducing other dc characters like kara and such) I think that I would want One (1) World’s Finest episode except batman doesn’t even show up, it’s just Bruce Wayne showing up consistently in the B plot while the Daily Planet Intern Gang are running around getting into shenanigans. I want it to be implied that he’s Batman, and maybe Jimmy throws out a conspiracy theory that he is Batman, but everyone shoots it down because Jimmy’s theories are only somewhat right like 10% of the time anyway.
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