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realm-of-rosie · 1 year

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💭 ways to develop productivity !!!

i. haikyuu [ tsukishima, kenma, bokuto and how they distract / motivate you ]

ii. fluff + scenarios / headcanons

iii. blog rules | masterlist

iv. ah studying, what i should be doing but i am instead fantasizing about studying. my quality time loving ass loved this HAHAHA also pretend i didnt use fUlL InTentIoN twice ok

[ tsukishima kei ]

"try again,"

"no thank you,"

"shrimpy - "

"don't shrimpy me kei!"

"i will shrimpy you as much as i want until you answer the question,"

"but i don't know anymore," you whine, "all the words and numbers are merging together in my head, i can't tell which is which anymore,"

"you know this one," kei insists, grabbing your face in his hand and smushing your cheeks together, "remember the mnemonic you made?"

he releases your face before reading the question again and at your blank expression, kei sighs, taking his glasses off to stare at you, eye to eye.

"one kiss for every right answer,"

"...what?" you gawk.

"if you get it right, i'll give you a kiss,"

you squint suspicously at your boyfriend and he casually wipes his glasses before putting them on, "would you really?"

"come find out," his voice is teasing and singsong in reply, waving the flash cards in front of you tauntingly, "i'll even ask a new question so you get a fresh start,"

"deal!" you stick your pink out, butterflies fluttering in your stomach when his own links with yours, "just know that i will be so disappointed if you end up lying to me,"

"of course not, never to you," with a clear of his throat another question comes - one you answered with ease at the prospect of a reward.

"see?" kei smirks, "you totally have this,"

"is that all?" you raise your eyebrow, laughing when he pulls you into his arms to press a soft kiss on your lips, his fingers holding you by the chin.

you pull away first to catch a breath, and when you chase his lips again, he tuts.

"the deal was one kiss," he whispers cockily while tracing your bottom lip with his thumb, "that was already one,"

[ kozume kenma ]

"ken, come on, i have to study," you sigh in half amusement, half exasperation because lord did you love your boyfriend but at this moment you wondered if murdering him was worth going to jail for x amount of years.

"so study?" he replies with a nonchalant tone, the clicking of the keys on his switch mixing with the music playing from your headphones.

"you're resting on my lap," you run your fingers through kenma's hair and you swear that almost purred in approval. you chuckle at that thought.

"and?"

"i don't have your concentrating skills,"

"and?"

you give him a deadpan look.

"oh, am i distracting you?"

"so help me god, i will smack that smirk off of your face if you don't get off of my lap,"

"alright, alright," he mumbles grumpily, curling up by himself in the corner of your bed still tapping away at his switch.

you, on the other hand, had slipped your headphones back on with the full intention to make it up to him once the project absorbing every ounce of your attention had finished, leaving yourself completely unaware of anything an everything happening in the room. fully immersed in the document in front of you, you began to work, slowly but surely slipping into an altered state of consciousness, and for a while, you were stuck in your work mindset.

well, that was before kenma snuck (there was actually no sneaking, you just didn't notice him move) into the nook in your desk beside your legs, giving you a mini heart attack when he suddenly leaned on your thigh.

you sigh, kissing your fingertips and passing it to him, in a way, by pressing them against the top of his head and patting him affectionately.

"just a little longer, ok? i promise,"

"take your time," kenma looks up at you with his ever observant cat-like eyes, "i just want to be close to you,"

"i guess i can't say no to you now," you tease, gently pinching his cheek and stroking it when he began to pout.

kenma leans into your touch and you tell yourself:

you totally could finish typing this with one hand.

[ bokuto koutaro ]

"one kiss,"

"bo-" you start to laugh uncontrollably when you lift your head to look at your boyfriend - with the full intention to remind him that you had 5 minutes left until your next break - and the poor little pet the two of you shared that he involved in his quest to distract you.

"we've both been very lonely," bokuto sighs, smushing his face against the small animal he held up and you coo at the expression it had. whether it was displeasure or otherwise, you weren't even sure.

"she's frowning at you," you tease bokuto, glancing back at the open document on your screen and frowning at the red line under one of the words on the word doc, immediately correcting the word.

"she is not!" bokuto gasps, facing your poor pet and kissing its little face, "see?"

there's a moment of silence as you reread the body of your speech, eyebrows furrowing together as you go over one line in particular.

"...you're not looking,"

"hm?" you glance at bokuto then back at the screen before back at your boyfriend's frowny face and droopy hair, reaching out to run your hand through his hair with guilt pooling in your gut, "i'm sorry love, i promise, just a few more minutes-"

you are interrupted by the beeping of your alarm, signaling that it was time for the 30-minute break between your study hours and bokuto perks up immediately, laying your pet in the small play pen you had in your work room at pulling your out of your seat, not allowing you even a second to protest before he hugs you tightly and twirls you around in a circle.

"you're free at last!"

#haikyuu fluff #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu imagines #kenma kozume x reader #kenma x reader #tsukishima x reader #tsukishima kei x reader #bokuto x reader #bokuto koutaro x reader

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mysticmellowlove · 11 days

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Virgin!Yan x Virgin Fem reader where he can’t make her cum. Like he has been praying to god praying to his alter just hoping and wishing for the opportunity to make us feel good to make love to us. And we don’t cum. He’s crying from the pleasure and we lowkey just kinda look like 😐 we’re in missionary so his head is tucked into our neck begging a pleading and crying about how good he feels and how much he loves us. We of course say we love him too but when he finally hits his orgasm and whines very loudly right after he notices something…. We…We didn’t do anything he didn’t feel us clench or hear us moan or grab his hair or- Did he… Not make us cum. He is horrified. But we just pet and kiss him telling him it’s ok. We are a little sore though but we did not cum lol.

warnings; sub yan, bottom reader, top yan, top male, fem reader, accidental orgasm denial, masturbation,

The pleasured sobs of the boy on your chest echoed in your ear as you sighed and let your body relax. The feeling of his cock sliding out of your wet heat made you cringe a little in oversensitivity. Your first time couldn't have possibly been with anyone better. The cutest boy at school, who seemed to have an affinity towards you...

It was just... you didn't actually cum. Sure it felt a little achy at the beginning when he eased himself in slowly, always making sure you were alright and kissing your neck as he breathed heavily. That ache soon turned to an insatiable pleasure as he rocked into you, occasionally slipping out of your cunt with his sloppy thrusts. It felt good, really good but since he was also new at sex there was no way he had the stamina to make you actually climax.

You knew that in order for you to come foreplay was needed but he was so drunk off the mere thought of getting to fuck you that he breezed over everything. You were a little shocked when he stripped himself and his cock was already hard and pulsating. It looked painful, that's about the most you knew. Still, you were eager as well to feel that rush of pleasure so you didn't mind too much.

You should've because as soon as you felt yourself getting closer and closer to orgasm he spurted inside you with a porn-worthy moan and slumped into your chest, hands pawing at your nipples desperately. It was... anticlimactic to say the least.

Soon enough his head peeked up at you through his tears and sweat-covered face only to realise that you looked basically the same as you did before he started. The shock on his face was almost cute if you weren't currently still trying to reach your high.

"You... you didn't..." He trailed off as his lips pouted and wobbled. Was he going to cry or something? Your lips quirked up at the thought as one of your hands tangled into his hair.

"Don't worry about it, you can work on it later..." You trailed off, you were disappointed but the starry-eyed look on his face had its own charm as well. Your free hand slid down between your bodies as your fingers slowly teased your lips, brushing against his softening dick at the same time. He jerked with a whine at the ghost like brush of your nails on his sensitive skin but this wasn't about him.

"You just need to learn how to properly please me huh?" You whispered to him, biting down on his exposed neck as he keened in a high pitched tone. So pathetic and... arousing.

"I'm sorry... I promise I'll do better next time, I promise please!" He rambled on as his eyes screwed shut in stimulation, his hips rubbing up and down your hipbone pathetically. Tears pooled down his face as he babbled, whimpering sentences that barely made sense as you circled your clit and arched your back.

"Don't worry, I'll even offer to train you." You grinned as he nodded feverishly, so intent on making sure you had the pleasure you needed, even though he failed this time. A moan slipped out of your mouth as you plunged your fingers into your already sensitive cunt. The feeling of your fingers in tandem with the already stretched walls made you finally cum with a cry.

His eyes widened as he watched you fall apart under your fingers, your eyes were shut in bliss so you missed the tightening of his jaw.

Next time he would be better, for you.

#love for anon #sub male #ask #drabble #sub yandere #fem reader

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cyareclones · 22 days

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Do you even realize how hyper critical you are when it comes to NEW artists who are STILL LEARNING how to draw ethnic features and skin?? Not every artist who does it incorrectly the first few or even 100 times is a racist. Sure some of them probably are, as there is always fucked up people in the world, but not everyone is out to get you dude. You really need to learn how to have some compassion for these new artists, not everyone’s art is gonna look picture perfect the first time around. I bet your art didn’t look perfect in the beginning either. You had to learn and grow as an artist. I think you have the skill now, but still now you need to focus on actually guiding people instead of getting all passive aggressive with people when it comes to this stuff as I’ve seen you do before.

yall fr have got to stop acting like its a person of colors' obligation to TEACH AND GUIDE YOU ON HOW TO DRAW PEOPLE OF COLOR. if someone refuses to change racist art, I'm going to say something critical! you need to stop acting like drawing people of color requires a massive learning curve. they're fucking PEOPLE, not an impossible feat of drawing. i don't have anything to say about new artists that isn't constructive, but i will be critical of literal grown adults who refuse to acknowledge that the characters they are drawing are based on or intended to be people of color. intention doesn't equal result. "you need to focus on actually guiding people instead of getting all passive aggressive with people" are you deadass ignoring the fact that i made a multiple page guide on how to draw clone troopers' features/skin tones/hair along side a guide on how to alter the geometry of the 3d models? and demanding me, a person of color, to take time out of my day to do so? you're bold! you're not only audacious as hell, but incredibly stupid. im not obligated to guide or teach anybody. stop acting like its OUR responsibility to hand-hold you out of making racist depictions of people. get a fucking grip and go draw something.

#cyarespeaks #demanding that a person of color teach and be kind to people who make racist art is actually batshit insane

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onshrike · 2 months

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my full comic from @neverturnbackzine

my core pitch for the zine was a comic focusing on shadow's uncertain identity and the power of suggestion.

"If he says he knows the truth about who I am...then like it or not, I have to believe him."

with this comic i wanted to explore how the semi-dark route feels like a storyline where shadow gets manipulated by black doom (of course, the pure dark route also carries this feeling, but semi-dark feels a bit heavier to me personally). he's fed just enough information to keep him following along and open up his mind to black doom's ideals, but he still retains the ability to question things... until he doesn't.

"That's right. This will remind you what the humans did to you. Never forget that horrifying image!"

in the end, shadow's story ends the way black doom wants it to.

the majority of the dialogue in my comic is comprised of quotes from the game (cutscenes & level dialogue) either directly or altered. it's been a few months so i wasn't able to track down all of them again (most are general sentiments across multiple routes anyway), but here are a few i could find in order of appearance in the comic. used or altered lines are in bold:

Page 1

SHADOW: Who are you? BLACK DOOM: You don't remember anything, do you? But you will... In time. But now, there's no time to waste here.

Page 2

SHADOW: ("Shadow the Hedgehog"... Why does that name haunt me? It's the only thing I can remember. And that gruesome image...)

Page 3

BLACK DOOM: Those vile soldiers are still defiling our precious home.

BLACK DOOM: What a pathetic sight. Shadow, follow them. Make sure they understand their situation.

MARIA: Don't worry, Grandfather. Shadow and I will protect this planet. Right, Shadow?

Page 4

SHADOW: ("Shadow the Hedgehog"... Why does that name haunt me? It's the only thing I can remember. And that gruesome image...)

there's one line of level dialogue i wrote down that i originally wanted to open the comic with if i had been assigned to the Neutral route. it's "Are you awake, Shadow?". i don't know why it stuck in my head so badly. there's just something so... heavy about it. Black Doom's level dialogue in Glyphic Canyon was the main influence for the tone of my comic. once i started paying really close attention to what BD was saying, i couldn't un-hear the ill intent i got out of it.

#zines #shadow the hedgehog #black doom #sonic #comics #2023 #undescribed

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ambermotta · 5 months

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How to not Kill your Crystals — Crystal Safety

How often have you looked up online and saw "to cleanse your crystals, use moonwater!", or "bury your crystals!"?

And how often did you hear of someone whose crystal ended up bleached, or entirely dissolved? (I'm looking at you, selenite)

Long post ahead but it's worth it, I promise

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Introduction

There are many methods of cleansing and charging crystals, but what beginner witches and pagans may not realize is that not every method is appropriate for every crystal.

While some methods are generally more harmless than others, if you don't know some of your crystal's basic properties, you might end up damaging them or even yourself!

So in this post I'll go through some general considerations and then list some cleansing & charging methods: the failproof, the ones you have to consider crystal safety, and the possibly harmful ones. Lastly, I'll list what you should NEVER do with your crystals.

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So what's wrong with Moonwater?

There is nothing wrong with moon or sun energy itself. What can be dangerous is Water and Sunlight. It's all about physics and chemistry.

Water

Some crystals dissolve or release toxic chemicals in water. Some examples are Selenite & and Desert Rose (which is a type of Selenite), and Hematite. That means you should never leave them near water, humidity, wash them, or put them inside any elixirs.

Sidenote on elixirs: if you are going to ingest any type of water that has been in contact with crystals, you MUST do a through research to make sure they don't release ANY chemicals in the water.

Plus you can infuse water with crystal energy without them touching the water.

by celestialearthminerals

The Sun

As for Sunlight, it can bleach your crystals and alter the coloration over time. The heat can also greatly damage them! An example of crystals that shouldn't be exposed to the sun is quartz. Pretty much all kinds, including amethyst and citrine.

Fun fact: burned amethyst clusters are very often sold as citrine. They have a burned yellow/brown/orange aspect to them, like in this image.

Real citrine has lighter yellow and orange tones.

burned amethyst – fake citrine

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Fail proof Cleansing & Charging

Nothing can go wrong with them when it comes to crystal safety. The worst that can happen is performing them poorly, which could affect cleansing and charging effectiveness.

Smoke

There's no way to go wrong here. You can light an incense or burn herbs of your choosing, pick up a crystal, and cleanse them with the smoke. You can use energetic herbs such as rosemary to charge them.

Tip: You can choose the herbs and incense based on your stones properties! (For example, use a fiery herb to charge a fiery crystal)

Sound

There are many ways to go about this. Singing bowls, affirmations, vocal singing, bells, prayer, chanting, galdr (rune chanting), calming and uplifting music...

Choose your sound, cleanse your space, set your intention, and let Sound do its job. If you are going to charge the crystals yourself using a method such as chanting to your stones, cleansing yourself first and having a ritualistic setup would be nice. It can help you focus and make sure you will only send positive energies to your crystals.

Reiki and Energy work

Absolutely no way to go wrong. Reiki is a wonderful cleasing/charging method.

You would have to be initiated in order to do Reiki, but if you can't afford that, any kind of energy work and energy manipulation will do. Just make sure to prepare yourself beforehand and focus on what you are doing.

You can use tools to help in energy manipulation, such as an athame or wand.

Water Glass Cleansing

You are NOT going to put your crystals INSIDE the water glass. That's why this is a safe cleansing method.

Fill a glass of water and set your intentions for the water to absorb all negativity from your crystals, then leave your stones & crystals near your glass of water for a few hours.

It is preferable to use a transparent glass. It doesn't have to be, but it is better. I also wouldn't recommend plastic of any kind.

Once you are done, dispose of the water, thanking it for its help, and wash the glass before using it again.

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Consider Crystal Safety with These

They are commonly believed to be harmless (and that's mostly true), but give them some thought anyway. I will explain why.

Immersing in Salt

Salt has strong cleansing properties. You can fill a small bowl with enough salt to bury your crystals and leave them there for a few hours to a day. You could also use salt water the same way.

Why be careful?

Salt can trigger chemical reactions in some crystals. I'm mainly talking about salt water, but just to be safe, it might be best to have caution with solid salt as well.

Burying in Earth

Burying crystals (especially if close to a plant or tree) is a popular cleansing/charging method. After all, they came from the earth! Who else could take better care of them?

You can leave your crystals buried outside for a few hours to a day and let the planet do its job.

Why be careful?

If you are going to leave crystals outside beneath the earth, you shouldn't have to worry about the Sun. It is WATER that you should worry about.

If it rains, the water will reach your crystals. If want to bury non water-safe crystals, make sure rain won't get to them.

Tip #1: Don't forget where you buried them

Tip #2: An alternative to burying outside is to bury crystals on your household plant's pot. You can even match the plant's own properties to the energy you want to work on your crystal.

Moonlight Bath

Not moon water, just moonlight. Just let your crystals bask in moonlight... It is almost failproof.

Why be careful?

I say it's almost failproof because it can only fail if you forget your crystals outside until the sun is out, or until it rains.

If you think you are prone to forgetting to collect your crystals before the sun shines, do this early in the night and set an alarm to collect your crystals in a few hours.

Tip: you can still cleanse and charge with Moon energy even if the weather is not favorable. Just be careful with rain.

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Possibly Harmful Methods

For these, you NEED to know your crystals before you do them. Especially the ones involving water and heat, you should take into consideration your own health due to possible chemical releases!

Sun charging

While it can be great to have sun energy on some of your crystals, this is one of the unsafest methods for the crystals. A lot of them will bleach, change color and even crack after prolonged sunlight exposure. If you're leaving crystals in the Sun, I suggest you leave them out for no more than an hour.

Also, watch out for weather changes if you have a crystal that is not waterproof.

Sidenote: if you have crystal necklaces, remember you might also accidentally expose them to sunlight and rain when you wear them outdoors.

Sun water

Can't have your crystals in the Sun, but it's a fire crystal so you would like it to be charged with sun energy?

If they are water safe, make some sun water, fill a bowl with it, and let your crystals sit in it for a few hours.

Moon water

As long as your crystal is waterproof, it should be fine. Just fill a bowl with moon water and let your crystals be for a few hours.

If you don't know if your crystals are water safe, it's best not to risk it.

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Never Ever...

... Expose your crystals to intense heat

No candles, no hot water, no intense sunlight. Not only you will very likely damage your crystal, intense heat and burning of crystals can release toxic fumes.

... Use chemicals to clean crystals

No soaps, alcohol, detergents, salts, etc. They might trigger chemical reactions when in contact with some crystals. So unless you know exactly what you're doing, keep these away from them.

... Touch dissolved crystal water

If you put your crystal in water and a chemical reaction happened, it's best to not touch the water. It could cause skin irritation and intoxication.

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Conclusion

Sometimes we leave crystals outside so that they can be bestowed Nature's blessings, and we forget about them. It happens, as do all accidents.

But you can avoid a lot of damage (yours and theirs) by simply studying about them before submitting them to anything that could be potentially harmful.

Remember your crystals need a lot of love and care, and that goes for their physical care, too. They are unique because of their physical and chemical properties as well, not just spiritual ones.

Thank you for reading and love your crystals!

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acapelladitty · 11 months

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Vitiation

Pairing - Scriddler (Arkhamverse)

Summary - Jonathan attempts to take a shower but finds his peace interrupted by the appearance of his opportunistic partner.

The hiss of the water as it flowed from the cracked shower head offered a pleasant enough background lull that Jonathan found soothing in a primal way. The rush of water, the first comfort any unborn babe is offered when its senses developed far enough, continued in life to provide some peace to his whirring mind.

A peace which seemed destined to be smothered in the crib as the soft padding of feet altered Jonathan to another presence. His body tensed immediately, a shameful vulnerability clawing at his throat for a moment, until he recognised the familiar grin as it appeared on the other side of the shower.

"Edward."

"Mind if I join you?" Edward asked, his tone neutral with just a sprinkling of hope peppered within.

"Why?" A deadpan response as Jonathan struggled to think of a good reason why he should allow such a thing. "Why now?"

"The space is big enough for two."

"Is it?" Jonathan replied tightly.

"And I would enjoy having some hot water for once. Your selfishness in these matters is even less appreciated on these harsh Winter nights."

Something unpleasant crawled across Jonathan's skin as Edward stepped into the open shower beside him, the sensation leaving gooseflesh in its wake, and his brow furrowed as he quickly identified the feeling as shame.

Shame at his own...physical inadequacies.

It was almost foreign, so rarely did the sensation strike him that he had almost forgotten it, but as his muted gaze rolled across Edward's naked skin he found that he hasn't missed it in the slightest.

Edward's arm came to rest on his thin, jagged hip.

"Why are you touching me?" His deflection quick, Jonathan's body refused to relax despite his will.

"We're both naked in the shower and we fuck each other fairly regularly." Edward explained with surprising patience, as though sensing that he were treading on thin ice. "So, as far as my delicate and intricate plans go, I would say that my current intentions don't require a first class doctorate to discern."

A showman smile graced Edward's lips but it flickered out as he took in Jonathan's appearance, his body curling in on itself as though coiling to strike out at the slightest provocation.

"Let me show you how you make me feel?" Edward continued, holding out his flat, grease-stained palm as he made a show of waiting for open consent. "Please?"

Jonathan grunted but relented his hand, placing his deft fingers atop Edward's with a stoic expression which gave nothing away of his inner turmoil.

He could trust Edward.

With this at least.

Edward's hand guided Jonathan's gently to his groin as though it were made of porcelain, allowing the scientist to feel his semi-hard length as it pressed against his upper thigh.

His gaze dropping, Jonathan once again roved his eyes across Edward's frame. There was a surprising level of scarring, most of it sharp and clean enough that Jonathan knew they were the result of bladed weaponry, as it littered his skin to tell an unspoken story. Any further evidence of Edward's sordid history could also be found branded into his skin by the faded cigar burns which decorated his broad shoulders.

But, despite any perceived imperfections, Edward still looked like a man.

A man who had experienced a fair share of physical trauma, to be sure, but his body held a decent layer of muscle and fat that protected him from the worst of the world. A thin coating of dark hair covered much of his body; the hairs sparse across his pale chest, with a much thicker patch of pubic hair decorating the base of his cock.

Edward, stripped to his essence, was an attractive and average man, one who was more than capable of catching the attention of a partner.

Jonathan was not an attractive man.

He were barely human.

Maybe he had been at one point, but that man was lost in the sewers of Arkham Asylum. His flesh torn from him by inhumane claws as his mobility and sight fell victim to Killer Croc, what he had lost in that sewer could never be reclaimed, and the surgeries which followed robbed him of the meagre fat which his body had once possessed.

Complete recovery was never an option, his stunted mobility a constant source of discomfort and pain. Even his hair had been claimed by various medications and stresses, leaving his body with no defenses against the harsh and unforgiving world which still fought to destroy him.

Pulled from his thoughts by Edward pressing against his back, his hard length now sandwiched against his hip, Jonathan held back a shudder as Edward clasped their joined hands over his emaciated stomach.

"If you want me to leave then say so." Edward muttered, the words low and intimate as they sent a flash of heat through Jonathan's body. "But if you do then don't be offended by what I'll be doing in the private of our bedroom to the thought of the prize I was denied."

A prize.

Feeling emboldened by the sincerity of the words, despite their crude intent, Jonathan swallowed the swell of foreign emotion which threatened his chest at the comment as he rolled his hips against Edward's groin.

It was an invitation which Edward accepted with relish as both men found themselves entwined beneath the shower until the hot water had finally run its course.

#scriddler #jonathan crane #edward nygma #riddler #scarecrow #arkham scarecrow #arkham riddler #edward nigma #riddlecrow #gotham rogues #dc comics #batman villains

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rin-and-jade · 3 months

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Question that's not explicitly plurality related but I think that yall would probably know the most about it, if that's ok?

How can you tell when a thought is yours? Like I'll have thoughts that I definitely know I'm thinking, but there's also a song running in the background (which I think is normal to not be able to stop, don't know if it's normal to purposefully try to think over it and have it still go just sound like it's underneath your thoughts), and other background noise too. By "background noise" I mean random trains of thought that I can't fully hear unless I focus on them. And then sometimes my brain will just start talking, narrating my life or telling a story or making up a scenerio or something. Sometimes it's full on conversations. It's not something that I'm trying to do, and if I'm like "hey brain, can you shut up ^.^" it'll be like "no" and resume (sometimes it just doesn't stop and sometimes it will literally say no, the latter not often though)

I'll also have conversations with myself, both outloud/internal and internal/internal, but only one of them will really feel like conscious thought so idk what's up there

I can't tell if my brain is just running without my input or if something else might be up here, but I figured that you guys most likely have more experience than a lot of people (singlets) with thoughts-that-don't-belong-to-you sooo.... yeah

Yep, im ok with it; Well in general means, there still can be thoughts that seems to be lingering around that doesn't necessarily correlate to being plural! I definitely know what you're talking about, so in this case i thought of a few things such as:

Intrusive thoughts This is when you unexpectedly think of something, which seem to pop up here and there that didn't actively come from you. How often someone experiences, and what kinds of thoughts have no limits. This one will make sense when you mean thinking things that doesn't relate to your train of thought or personality at all.

Neurodivergency Most apparent/often for people with ADHD, they often have their minds being loud with many background thoughts, often repeating a part of a song and or words. I am not entirely sure if this is for stimulation (keeping yourself from being bored or something) or because of scattered focus or other reasons that i had not mentioned. This isn't only limited to ADHD btw.

My Experience Well, some people are chatty in nature, im one of them, i often think alot, chat to myself alot to the point of having a fake convo (i know im the one replying to myself, thats the thing) because you're brain is super active and all that.. eh, i wish it's silent you know? And it doesn't have anything to do with those two things up there before.

And to answer your very first question to how you can know it's your thought.. i can only explain in one definition: You always know the reason, or why, or the train of thought behind it. Something that interjects and does and follow your flow is a foreign thought.

Also, to be safe, these are what you have to look out for that could mean your thoughts... can be alters:

Commenting on different preferences often

Commenting on what you're doing, sometimes telling you to do it differently or somewhere along the lines

Refer with different names

Have consistent, distinguishable accent/tone/characteristic (where, obviously, are not your thoughts)

Seem to have different views, morals, ethics

Capable of handling conversations, and reasoning, as if it's a physical person you're talking to. Which is entirely outside of your own will and intention

Often dissociate, feel like a different you, and have inconsistent likes/dislikes

If you seem to match up with these signs, you are likely to be an undiscovered system. And i will dedicate myself to further assist you to assess if you are one in an even more detailed/complete manner because it takes a decent amount of time to figure this out (oh and feel free to read DID resources just incase). If you got your answer, thats great! If you think you are a system, feel free to refer this ask when DMing me alright?

Wish you a good day.

- j

#did #actually did #did community #did osdd #did system #sysblr #dissociative identity disorder #janswersask

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july-19th-club · 2 months

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it's VERY sad because i truly went in with an open mind and wanted to like it a lot, but i have to side with the haters on Babel, or at least the disappointed-it-couldn't-have-been-more-ers. finishing Babel, all i really felt was the desire to reread the bartimaeus books, which definitely do most of the things Babel does - Magic England, boy apprentice rebels in ways that are destructive both to himself and to the institution that molds him, themes of exploitation, imperial decay, and the nightmare of colonial conquest - but might do them better. and i feel sad about this, really, because i wanted Babel to be more than what it is, which is a thesis more than a novel...or rather, a thesis stuffed into a novel casing that is just a little too thin to contain it. it's tough to accurately say stuff about this book, because you can't approach it from a position where it is at all divorced from the author; authorial intent is necessary to every single page. if it had BEEN a thesis, and not a novel, then that thesis could've been stronger, because as it stands, it's not ironclad. if kaung had been writing an academic work or a nonfiction book, she would have been able to better interrogate what she had there and make adjustments where necessary, but because it must have a plot, it sometimes twists itself up trying to emphasize what it's About, which means characters don't develop internality, because they are foremost broad-spectrum representations rather than individuals.

so the characters are both too broad and too thin, and their language is too contemporary - ironic, for a novel about linguistics and the power and corruption of how we say what we mean to say, that there's almost a fear of using period lexicon to describe things when our current words for those things are more acceptable. what i mean by that is, nobody wants to see slurs in the pages of a historical novel, that's not what i'm talking about, but the dialogue barely scans as Of The Past most of the time, and that undermines the whole edifice of this being a serious novel about linguistics.

and maybe i'm just not the audience. or maybe the book needed to lean heavier either to the fantasy side or the academic-tone side, because where it sits, uncomfortably attempting to straddle a fence that shouldn't be this wide, isn't working. i've seen reviewers say that the fantasy elements suffered and felt rushed or incomplete in the book's anxiety to impress its themes and message on the reader, and i think i agree with that. i also think that the theme - confident as it is - isn't ironclad. other reviewers have pointed out that the silver magic system makes it very easy for the characters to pull down their empire, and yet at the same time does not significantly alter the world it's been placed into to an extent that they would actually be able to do that.

and finally - this one is just petty, but still - the footnotes just weren't as fun as i thought they would be. i love footnotes. this book's footnotes were only too often just redundancies of the text, rather than new and exciting comments on it (the exception being the linguistics-themed ones, which were always cool). kuang is for sure a very enthusiastic and dedicated and probably a brilliant scholar. but she's also definitely a better scholar than a novelist.

#and ive seen some really racist reviews of this book so maybe some of the readers DO need spoonfed #but those readers weren't going to like it anyway. which is half the point of the book #you know. that no matter how you bend over backwards to appease and appeal to the oppressor they will never actually respect you #but..............i dont know. as a Topic and a Concept it works. its maybe not as nuanced as it could be but it works #as a novel...not so much #babel #q

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inquebrar · 2 months

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some of my ramblings about doied are mainly the fact that i still can't understand what was the intention behind making him exist. like, i still don't understand the reasons for making him part of the story in this way, the way it happened and also why it happened like that?

[since it's almost going to 7am i feel like i should make it clear tone indicator /lighthearted i feel like it might sounds like i'm complaining but i'm just intrigued haushaksh]

at first doied was like a way q!roier talked when he said a fact or seemed nerdy kinda things like that and then it seemed to go a little bit the way of alter egos? Perhaps, i even remember that once it generated many theories involving dissociative identity disorder (DID ... i think that's how it's said in english, sorry if i'm wrong) because q!roier had already talked about hearing voices in his head that weren't his (it wasn't something related to the chat) and that sometimes he felt disconnected from reality. i personally didn't follow this theory much because it can be a sensitive topic to address and doing something insensitive that could be offensive is not a good thing to do. which makes me wonder, could it be that at some point cc!roier thought about making a plot related to this but to avoid any kind of misinformation or insensitivity towards the topic, maybe he decided to change it or was that never the initial intention? i personally believed more in the point of view that q!roier has several ways of expressing himself, whether through alter egos that are not necessarily DID but just that he uses other names to refer to himself when he wants to express/present himself in another way, almost like the way many artists do, i even have a distant memory where he talks about melissa and doied to q!jaiden and he even changes his voice and makes body expressions and it's good to remember that q!roier dressed up as melissa it was part of his plan involving the begining of his lore, so melissa is q!roier we saw it. so i always thought, ok... melissa and doied are part of who q!roier is, right? .......

i was completely lost when it was confirmed that doied is a person apart from q!roier. i still feel like i'm in the denial stage to be honest XD there are so many questions i don't even know where to start. but with sleep reaching my brain i'm just wondering if cc!roier considered the impact that turning doied into a canon character had? and not only that but the way the character was introduced and the path chosen as well. like, he does the "doied voice" since the beginning, it's often something out of roleplay, it's a recurring joke but now that doied is a real character who is apparently q!roier's twin brother? and that he switched bodies with q!roier ?!?! everything is different now!!*

and especially from the public eye, this is something i noticed a lot: the confusion in understanding whether something was being done and said with intention and reason, or not. when you follow a character like q!roier who is a character where you can't judge the book by its cover, you're aware that cc!roier has always been attentive to doing roleplay in a way that is subtle but always with intentions behind it that often surprises even those who watch, from using the camera to show the change of expressions after saying something super happy and remain super serious, demonstrating false feelings, doing something good and then saying that it was just a preparation for when the betrayal happens it will be more painful, talking about killing everyone who gets in the way and then recommending acting with the others as if nothing had happened and pretending to be happy... and many other examples. q!roier keeps a lot of information, he is very observant and can pretend and manipulate very well. including something that happened after the body swap with doied that gave me emotional damage, it was when after sending a cute message to q!cellbit, doied said out loud that it was working, "he's falling for it" that caught me so off guard but i also saw the reaction of many people who had also completely forgotten that it wasn't q!roier and this just shows that cc!roier is aware of what he decided to do with the story and he remembers his decisions with his characters. SO THAT'S THE POINT. we know what he's capable of and how subtly he roleplays. so it's agonizing to see things and think "was that intentional?" and not knowing if they were or not, but i also think that this even helps with theorizing and analyzing, which is a fun part of entertainment.

*but when i say that everything is different now, it's that by transforming something that was usually just used as something fun momentarily into a real and unique character who, to complicate everything, is pretending to be his twin brother is WILD. that's crazy. and even had a body swap!!! so now even in moments that it's obvious that it's not something within roleplay people go "OMG DOIED?!" and when i talk about moments that are > obviously outside of roleplay < it's like when cc!roier was telling about his trip to cc!quackity and there were questions "is this still doied or is this out of lore?" or when cc!roier was alone building with cc!rivers and he spoke in doied's voice and she called him doied because it's a thing they do and people freaked out and were surprised, acting suspicious and stuff like that and sometimes it may seem too much but still, there are also big impacts like, what will it mean in the future? at what moments will really doied become careless and talk as used to? when will intentions become ambiguous? are people to blame for doubting and suspecting when the lore revolves around discovering that a character is pretending to be someone they're not? and the questions remain as to why q!roier spoke like that before and "behaved like doied"? what are the implications of this? how was this possible? why how when what huh??!?!!

i think the only way to stop how triggering that will be to see cc!roier talking like doied after going back to roleplay as q!roier is if doied dies HAJDJDHSK because i swear every time he does the voice i remember everything and i'm one step away from becoming the joker bring back q!roier he's still a rat what the actual fuck

but with that being said i trust in what cc!roier intends to do, from the beginning he's been interested in creating lore and continuing to follow the story he wants to do and it's good that he's doing what he wants, i'm curious to see where this all goes i just hope it ends with a happy ending because i can't stand being sleepless writing about how this character disturbs my brain im so tired get him out of my mind please what am i doing with my life.

#qsmp #i need to sleep omg trying to say things in english at this hour being tired is crazy but i couldn't stop thinking about it fuck me i guess #brainrot hours #qsmp roier #q!roier #doied #q!doied #a mimir ou eu quebro

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ahamkaracature · 11 months

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I feel like I've nutted to SCP-1471 so many times my minds just equates ?her~~~~? with instant throbbing boners... Used to be terrified of 1471 but now I just wanna have 1471 her in by bed to snuggle. Some times I imagine this very scenario late at night in my deepest sorrow at my lowest point. I imagine 1471 peering around the door, then coming into my room, I have no fear because I've seen 1471 many times in my dreams. It seems shy, perhaps lonely like me? No, such a thing can't feel loneliness.... at least.... I assume? No matter, all that matters is that senpai is now at the foot of my bed. Not a word uttered by 1471, not a movement of the head. Its her smooth white head and pearl like eyes watch me, not with intent, not with malice, or curiosity, but simply watching. Either out of shock or fear of spooking her I make no movement in my bed. This continues for several minutes. Finally I speak up though at a near whisper, 'W.... would you care to join me?' I pull back the covers and pat the bed indicating a good position to lay down at. 1471 seemingly doesn't react nor acknowledged my invitation. In a more confident and slightly louder tone I repeat the invitation. 1471 cocks its head, I pat the bedding again as if calling a dog. 'Please... I wont harm you... I... I don't mind if you stay for the night...' I say in almost a pleading tone. 1471 has been my go to fap material for awhile now, almost every day for 2 weeks in a row, such an opportunity to finally embrace my waifu surely will not come again. 1471 takes a step, then another, and another, now at the side of my bed where the covers have been turned back my eyes glisten with hope. A single black ?paw? ?hand? is placed on the sheets, then 1471 sits, and finally lays down on her back. Am I dreaming, altered personal reality? I out-stretch my own hand and place it on the top of her head... Thick black hair and two fluffy ears on a hard base. Feels real to me, perhaps I've finally realized my ultimate desire. I stroke 1471's head slowly, after a few strokes I run my hand down her beautifully formed skull. Not a reaction is had and tiredness plagues me so I opt to throw a hand over her chest and snuggle 1471 tenderly. Eventually I drift to sleep with the last image in my mind before darkness being 1471 staring directly at me. Of course, this was only a passing day dream, perhaps my fantasy as I lie awake in my bed late at night. Though... Have you ever experienced a constructed reality so convincing you've actually bought into it? I have but only once and I so desperately wish to return to it... oh how I wish it were real... What I'd give to live in my own constructions, perhaps nightmares for some but heavenly bliss for me. Heh, I guess as the saying goes; "One man's nightmare is another's paradise." Well, allow me to elaborate on this one time I achieved bliss. I'd been working for nearly 21 days straight off 23 - 28 hours of sleep a week, 10 - 12 hour days of hard labor type work, and the only thing keeping me going is Monster Hydro and pain-killers. I'd finally gotten a Sunday to myself, my first day off in literally weeks, I tucked into bed with my glorious and favorite waifu pillow that Saturday night. On Sunday morning a soft and gentle first glean of the rising sun illuminated my bedroom with an almost mystical light. I opened my eyes and starting at me was the face of my waifu with her tender smile and gorgeous eyes so deep I found myself easily lost in them. That... that is the first time I'd experienced true peace, detached from the dark reality of the world. I stared long into my waifu's eyes and even gave her a small kiss. I laid there in ecstasy as I spooned my waifu wishing even praying it to be reality. Sadly like with all good things, it must come to an end. My groggy mind finally came to full operation and the wondrous atmosphere quickly turned to deep sadness and depression as I realized that I was embracing nothing more than a pillow with an image printed on it.

I’m gonna hope that if you are prescribed any medication that you are taking it. Life can be tough so even if it is just a fantasy you can still gain some joy out of those fleeting moments. I hope that you can one day find the true happiness you seek, but if you ever need to vent feel free to talk to me.

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heliads · 1 year

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Hey hey Lisaa!!💓 Hope you're having a great day!! Here I am with the promised angst prompt for Marvel's Eternals. It's a Druig x reader (I love him with makkari but this needs to be off my chest). Let's think that after some time of leading his community in the Amazon, Druig needed a break so he visited some place new where he met reader. Reader (around 20-21 years of age) and Druig fell in love and stayed together for about I don't know, maybe 5 years or so. Reader knew who he really was, but had no idea of the existence of his community. Druig left one morning without any words and never came back. It ruined reader, but eventually they moved on, found someone else, maybe even had a kid.

After 10-15 years (the timeline of reader's life, them moving on and so), Druig comes back as if nothing happened. He went to check things over in the Amazon and to prepare for reader's arrival, cause he planned to take them there. Being an eternal, 10-15 years mean nothing to him, it's like a month passed by. So, imagine his shock when he sees somebody kissing reader. Somebody who lives in their house. In his place.

Reader and Druig have a fight based on these prompts:

"I've moved on."

"I used to daydream about us. But now it's too late."

"Don't you want to know what could have been? If you had asked me this years ago, I would have said yes."

The ending as usual it's up to you, but these prompts kinda make the ending clear. It's not going to be happy:))) Tear my soul apart Lisa. I want to cry my eyes out. Thank you lovely!!! Remember to change what you don't like!!❤️❤️

omg i love eternals and i love angst. the perfect combination

masterlist

You are alone when you see him for the first time. Sitting there in the bending shadows of the trees, he looks like he could be a young man, about your age if not a month or two older. Later, you’ll learn that he’s far beyond your own mortal lifespan, but at that first moment of contact, you had no idea. You didn’t know a lot of things about the young man in the forest, least of all how much you would grow to know about him. Decades in the future, if you had been presented with the chance to change any moment in your life, you would think about altering this day the most.

You have no idea of how much he would haunt you, though, so on this particular afternoon, you do not heed the whispering in the woods and you draw closer to the young man. You’d been passing through the forest when you’d seen him. He had tripped over a tree root, then started glowering at the tangled mass of aged wood as if he hadn’t expected it there. This particular oak is one of the eldest growths in the area, but he still furrowed his brow like it had been moved there recently just to spite him.

You had paused by him as you passed. You had thought to offer him a hand up, but the immediate spark in his blue eyes warned you otherwise. This is not the sort of man who takes kindly to kindness. He’ll cut to the bone when he needs some entertainment, and you are certainly not to ruin him of his fun by being polite of all things.

So you retract your hand and your good intentions, choosing instead to offer him a smirking sort of smile. “Everything alright there?”

The man redirects his glare from the offending oak to you. “Just peachy. I always chose to spend my evenings on the ground as opposed to anywhere else.”

Far from taking insult at his tone, you find it within yourself to laugh. “Figured I’d check anyway. Newcomers to the area get lost often, do you need directions?”

The young man bristles even more than before, if possible. “I’m not a newcomer.”

He says it with all the irritation he can pack into the few short syllables. From the way he carries himself, you wouldn’t be surprised if he’d been here longer than you. Maybe longer than anyone, dead, alive, or otherwise.

You nod once, feigning solemnity. “Alright, then. You tripped on purpose and you’re lost on purpose, too. I’ll stop asking questions.”

Something almost like a smile appears on his face. The corners of lips are fighting a losing battle to stay pinned down. “Good. You’re a quick learner, I appreciate that.”

You take one for the team and grin. “Oh, I pride myself on it.”

The young man picks himself up from the ground at last, brushing his hands off on his navy attire.

You jerk your chin towards the direction you’re heading. “Coming?”

He cocks his head to the side, curious, and you explain yourself. “I assume you’re going to be following me out of the forest anyway. You might as well save yourself the trouble of trying to skulk along in the background and just join me.”

This time he does smile for real. “Like I said,” he muses, “a quick learner indeed. Although I have to tell you that skulking is one of my favorite activities.”

“Feel free to do so if you please, then,” you say, “either way is fine with me.”

He chuckles quietly. “I’ll stay.”

And he does. The young man follows you out of the shadows of the woods and into the bright air of the surrounding town. He walks by your side until you reach your house, then heads inside when you invite him in. He stays the night, then the next day, then the next. Soon enough, you don’t ever want him to leave.

You learn quite a bit about him. He goes by the name of Druig, although he’s responded to many others before and likely will again. You weren’t wrong about the vibe you got in the forest, the one that he’d been here quite a long time. As it turns out, Druig was stopping by your town for a quick break from his usual life. He’d been here before, yes, but about a couple centuries earlier, not the few years you’d been expecting.

You weren’t anticipating an immortal to become your new roommate, but you can’t say you mind. You and Druig exchange quick retorts and hidden smiles like playing cards. He soon becomes your favorite gamble, and you have long since been his. Every night, Druig says that he’ll be leaving the next morning, and every morning, he stays. Next time, he swears he’ll go. Next time. Always one more night.

Soon enough, he stops saying it completely. You certainly have no issue with it. He’s growing on you, you can admit that easily. He makes you feel like you’re the greatest person in the world, and seeing as Druig has seen quite a bit of the planet for quite some time, the fact that he stays with you time and time again has to mean something.

It feels completely predictable when you finally fall in love with him. Druig sees you like no one else, how could you not love him? The surprise was when he fell in love with you. A thousand lifetimes he has led, a million people and more he has met, and throughout all of that, he wants you more than any other. Druig swears that you are the only one for him, and although it seemed impossible at the beginning, you finally think that it might be true.

It just feels right, that’s all. This is the way your story was always supposed to go. It was written in the stars from the moment you met him in that forest. There was no other path that you could have taken, no other choice that you could have made. In any other lifetime or universe, you would always meet Druig, you would always fall in love with him, and he would always leave you.

That is what happens when you try to convince an Eternal to lay aside their old life, after all. Druig only came to your town by accident, looking for a passing whimsy to fill his time. He hadn’t intended on finding you, but he did. He loved what he discovered in you enough to stay for five years or so, and when that time was up, Druig looked around and realized that he had a thousand other things he’d rather be doing and abandoned you.

That’s what you think, at least. In truth, you have nothing to fill your mind but endless theories. When it comes down to it, Druig gave you no sort of explanation, nothing even so solid as a goodbye. One night he was there, the next he was gone. It was just like those promises of your initial months, but this time it was real and this time you didn’t even have that familiar phrase to remind you that this was never permanent.

Some part of you had always known that your relationship with Druig would be nothing if not temporary, but the painful truth is that it was so wonderful to love him that you managed to convince yourself otherwise. He made it easy to forget he ever wanted to do anything but love you. If you fell for it, well, that’s on you. Druig made his choice, and at long last, you’re going to have to say yours.

One day after he leaves, maybe weeks or months or even years later, you walk to the forest where you met him. You can still find that old oak, and when you look up at it, you curse it for tripping him up and making him fall into your path. You could have walked right by and never hurt yourself this much. What a life you could have led.

At the same time, meeting Druig was one of the best things you ever did. He changed you forever, even if you don’t want to admit it. You are different now, different in a way that you will never be able to reverse. Some days, you’ll curse that, but you think overall you’ll be able to accept it.

You breathe in and out slowly, then turn around and walk back to your town. Druig has left in the middle of the story, but you’re taking yourself out too. Your time with him is done, your memories complete in the past. What’s done is done, and at last, you are free of his hold on you.

…

Druig feels excited to come back. He had a dream a while ago in which his life was not just good but great. It took him a while to figure out what he could change to chase that perfection, and then it hit him. Sometimes, humans can be a little too unpredictable. They don’t go where you want them to go, they argue and fight when they could just be calm.

That’s why he’s made his community in the Amazon. It’s quieter there. The people get along. He sees to it that they do. The environment is beautiful around them, and everyone does their best to help it grow. It is the perfect place for anyone to live. It is the perfect place to start a family.

Druig has never been sure of love in the past. After much careful consideration, though, he thinks he’s found it in Y/N L/N. He didn’t count on her being such an important part of his life, but yes, she is now. He’s been fixing up his place in the Amazon and it’s finally ready. All that is left to do is to bring her over.

He takes the long way around to her corner of the earth, breathing in the brisk air of the sea and thinking of her. It is nothing to take his time; time is all that he has ever known. What he did not count on is that she might not have the same grasp on the quickly passing years as he does.

When Druig arrives at the town, he has to take a minute or two to re-orient himself. Streets have sprung up out of nowhere, buildings have been demolished or improved until they’re almost nothing like what he remembers. Y/N doesn’t live in the same place as she used to, but after asking around, Druig is able to locate her new residence without difficulty. He feels mildly peeved that she hadn’t told him she was moving, but then again, he can admit that there would be no real way for her to let him know.

He springs up the steps to her house, knocking smartly on the door before rocking back on his heels and waiting. She takes her time in approaching, and when she swings open the door at last, she has to use the better part of five minutes to collect herself.

“Druig,” she manages to breathe at last.

He nods. He’s smiling again; he usually doesn’t, but something about her has always made him lose that bit of his self-control.

“Y/N,” he replies.

They’ve always been happy to poke fun at each other, so he’s expecting her to laugh along at him mirroring her words, but for some reason Y/N just looks shell-shocked.

“What are you doing?” She asks at last.

Druig frowns. Admittedly, he had been hoping that she’d be at least a little bit happier to see him. He’s gone to all this trouble of fixing up the Amazon for her, she might as well be pleased about it.

“I’ve been busy making a place for us to live,” he says, “how soon can you leave?”

Y/N looks even more stunned, if possible. “Leave? What are you talking about?”

Druig spreads his hands. “We talked about having a life somewhere else, remember? Somewhere exciting. Well, I’ve found it. You shouldn’t have to pack much, I have everything we could need.”

Y/N shakes her head slowly. “Druig, I can’t leave. Not with–”

She cuts herself off quickly, but Druig hears what she didn’t say. Not with you.

He doesn’t like where this is going. “Why not?”

Y/N lets out this incredulous sort of laugh. “Why not? Druig, you were gone fifteen years. You can’t just show up out of nowhere and expect me to go with you.”

Druig lifts a shoulder. “It was only fifteen years.”

That’s not much, all things considered, but from the way Y/N’s staring at him, he could have stayed away fifteen centuries.

She takes a moment to control herself, then continues. “Look, I can’t go with you. I’ve moved on.”

Druig feels as if the world has turned upside down. “You’ve what? You didn’t wait for me?”

“I did,” Y/N murmurs, “I did for years and years, but you never showed up. I used to daydream about the day you’d show up again and take me away from everything, but it’s too late now.”

Druig has spent century after century studying humanity, but he feels as if he can’t understand a thing she’s saying. “I don’t get it. I’m here right now. We could go.”

She presses her hands together, trying to find the right words to say to adequately make up for everything. “Do you know the worst part? Worse than the fact that you’ll never get why I can’t go with you. I would have, if you had just told me that this was your plan. If you had asked me this years ago, I would have said yes. I would have said yes a thousand times, but you left and never came back until now.”

“What’s stopping you?” He asks desperately.

Y/N holds up her left hand as an explanation, and suddenly Druig sees it. She’s got an engagement ring on her finger. Immediately, Druig wants to say that it’s the wrong ring. He would have given her a better stone, something perfect. It hits him then that she doesn’t want perfection, because perfection was him and he left. All Y/N wants is to be happy, but that is not Druig. Perhaps it never has been.

He lets out a tired sigh, the weight of millennia pressing in at his lungs. “The Y/N I used to know would have waited. What happened to her?”

“I was a girl when you left me,” Y/N hisses, “a girl, and I thought the world of you. I am nothing like the girl you left. You’re the only one who hasn’t changed, Druig. You’re still just as sharp as ever.”

Druig doesn’t miss how she spits out that last word. Sharp, yes, that’s him. Cold and cutting, the blade that refuses to rust. He never minded it before, but now he does. Oh, he does.

The older parts of his brain are taking over now, forcing him back into autopilot. Already, his spine is stiffening, the last parts of him that had dared to feel something locking back into endless nothingness.

“I’ll go, then,” he whispers, “I hope you enjoy your life.”

He says it genuinely, but judging from the look on Y/N’s face, he might as well have sworn at her. Druig turns around before she can say anything to cause him more grief, and forces himself to never look back. A thousand thoughts are spinning around in his head, and when he looks up, he’s in the forest where they first met.

Or, he’s in the place that used to be the forest. Most of it has been cleared away to make space for new housing. A few straggling saplings still remain, but everything else is empty space. Druig walks until he is in the exact same place where he first found the girl he loves. The tree has been cut down. All he gave her is gone.

He does not know how long he stays there. It’s a penance of sorts, a reminder of what he’s lost. He was never made for this sort of life– mortal, fleeting, requiring all of his time and attention– and this just reminds him of it once and for all. What they had together has vanished, disappeared beneath the folds of time. It’s not her story anymore, just his. His forever.

requested by @zaypay, i hope you enjoy!

marvel tag list: @thatfangirl42, @rogueanschel, @mycosmicparadise, @ellobruv, @callsign-scully, @with-inked-solace, @sher-lokid7, @amortensie, @23victoria, @watchreadfangirlrepeat, @gods-fools-heroes, @w1shes43

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kairiscorner · 10 months

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Chapter 2: nothing is ever normal with us.

Summary: You agree to help Miguel see his daughter, just once, as you've told him. He's been over the moon since you agreed, he really couldn't be any happier. You two talk over coffee about his plans when he gets there, how long he'll stay, and what he'll do if he... encounters his murdered alternate. Though the situation is pretty messy and questionable at best, he can't help but be thankful for you, for you letting him do this, for you saying yes to him every time, no matter how stupid his decisions are and for sticking by him.

“So, how long will you be gone?” I ask him over coffee as I lean forward, looking at him. He looks down into his coffee as he thinks about it. “Okay, I've decided to stay for… just a day. Yeah, just a day there will cut it.” he repeats as he sips on his coffee.

I nod along in agreement. “Right. And what'll you do or say to cover up your prolonged absence from the family?” I quiz him as he scratches the back of his neck, looking a little worried himself about this whole plan.

“That I'll be on a business trip.” he replies simply as he taps his fingers against the table. “Okay, and… about her real dad–obviously there'll be police records of his murder that we can't just get rid of, and the news will eventually get to the family, so what are you going to do?” I ask him with worried tinging my otherwise casual tone.

“Can't I just… clean it up the moment he dies?” he asks, looking at me as if he were pleading with me to say yes, but I've bent my back over for him too many times to count already. I shake my head as I look away from him.

“Miguel.” I say his name with such sternness. I'm already going against my morals and the natural law of things by letting him do this, I'll suffer the consequences with him. But covering up a man's murder from the law, forgetting he ever existed is against my morals entirely.

“Gabriella isn't your daughter. You can visit her before he dies, during the time he's busy and isn't with her. But the moment he comes home to see her, you bail. Immediately, you leave the scene. Don't get attached to her, she isn't your daughte–”

“I know.”

“I know…” he repeats, rubbing his closed eyes. I breathe in deeply. I hate having to tell him this, to do this to him. It's breaking his heart, every syllable being etched into the muscles of his heart.

He wants to see her because he wants to have one day off from almost getting killed, almost losing his friends, almost losing himself; he wants to know what it's like in a world where he's content with who he is and where he has a family who will unconditionally love him forever.

“You know… I'm glad I have you.” he practically whispers, because of how soft his voice is. He looks up at me, and I look at him when I hear his words. “I'm glad that I have someone to hold me together, even if I rope you into stupid stuff like this, stuff that could alter everything, you don't push me away.” he says as he gently takes my hand in his.

I can feel a warmth on my cheeks, a small pink creeping up on my face as he takes my hand in his. I'm not easy to fluster, I know other people have worse intentions behind the masks they use to conceal themselves and their desires. I have hardly met anyone who is ever worth wholly trusting, hence one can only imagine the surprise a skeptic like me experienced feeling my cheeks flare up as he thanked me for sticking with him through thick and thin.

I clear my throat, the warmth now dissipating from my cheeks as I do. “No problem.” I tell him as I see his face return to that smile I've seen plastered on him whenever he sees his daughter. I know it's not the exact same smile, of course he loves his daughter in a different way than how he likes me, but I couldn't help but feel that his feelings for me at that moment were the same as how he felt for his alternate family–that I was his and he was mine. We were each other's in a world that was pretty much against us.

Thinking about it, the world we're living in is the consequence of many choices, some of our own, some are the choices of others. Some of my choices led me to where I am now, as Miguel O'Hara's assistant and childhood best friend; and some of Miguel's choices led him to me, as my grumpy boss and my childhood best friend.

I didn't really choose to be there, at that point in time, during our late elementary years–I chose yet didn't choose to be his friend, I chose yet didn't choose this life. I didn't choose to meet him, but I accepted the invitation anyway. I didn't choose to be the one he taught me how to get what I want, but I accepted the invitation anyway. I didn't choose to be the one who he trusts the most among all he's ever known his whole life, but I accepted the invitation anyway.

I didn't choose Miguel, but I chose him anyway.

He chuckles at my nonchalant response and brings his index finger and thumb together on his nose bridge as he smiles up at me. “You're really letting me have everything I want, aren't you?” he asks, almost as if he's teasing me.

I roll my eyes and take my hand away from his to cross my arms over my chest as I raise and eyebrow at him. “You would have done it alone if I said no anyway. And besides… I know it's messed up, very messed up, but you love her. And if you love your kid… you'd never want to hurt her, would you?” I ask, looking up into his hazelnut brown eyes for the answer.

“You're right.” he uttered as he looked back down at his coffee. “But if I ever… if I ever become too obsessed with this–stop me while I'm ahead. Restrain me if you have to, just… just stop me, okay? Even if I get physical, even if I threaten you, don't let me get what I want.” he said, smiling a little sadly as he looked back up at me.

I pause for a moment, and then, I nod slowly. “Right.” I say as I continue nodding. It scares me a little how he's come to terms that he might, one day, get too obsessed and go against everything we've worked hard to prevent happening–he acknowledges he might one day mess up and irreparably destroy everything we've ever thought was important, might throw things off the balance and ruin the lives of many.

But I trust him. I trust Miguel.

I trust he won't do it.

I trust that, on the off event that he does do it, I'll be strong enough to stop him.

“Man, we're pretty strange, aren't we? Me, wanting to run away from this life I've got as Spider Man to be with a daughter I've only watched over for a while, and you… not stopping me despite the risks–have I really rubbed off on you that much?” he asks, as he pours white powder from a shaker into his coffee, chuckling again. “I mean, is it supposed to be normal? What exactly does ‘normal’ entail?” I ask as I finish my coffee.

“Yeah, nothing is ever normal with us.” he says as he sips his coffee. “Ay, mierda…” he says aloud as he sticks his tongue out in disgust. I chuckle now. “Salt?” I ask him, trying to stifle my laughter. “Salt.” he repeats, his voice a little raspy as he coughs it out, with me releasing a fit of laughter.

Our life right now is just like that; coffee with a mountain of salt, pretty weird, but, it happens. It's the consequence of one's choices, good or bad, whether you paid attention or not to the little details. And the taste… it's different, even if it's described as ‘salty’ or ‘weird-tasting’; it's something only he and I can find joy in, laugh about, even if… we'll come to regret the aftertaste.

#miguel o’hara fanfiction #miguel o’hara x reader #atsv miguel #miguel o'hara x you #miguel o'hara #miguel o'hara x reader #miguel spiderman #atsv spiderman #miguel x you #miguel o'hara fluff #slow burn #friends to lovers #atsv #miguel o'hara angst

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sarcastic-trash · 1 year

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Percy Jackson Fandom: The Lack of Perspective in the Fandom

I love the Percy Jackson series, I love it so much but, sometimes the fandom frustrates me. Particularly, the lack of diverse perspective and opinions in the fandom. All of the "hot takes" I've seen from others are luke warm at best or just showing that they didn't make the effort to understand the series at worse.

Whenever I see posts talking about how different situations would be portrayed from another characters perspective, the posts are shunned and the OPs are harassed. Mind you, if you haven't seen this, that's cool but, I'm talking about what I've seen. You could mention how a perspective flip could change the tone of a scenario and suddenly you're public enemy number one. That's what I mean when I say there's a lack in diverse perspective.

A lot of people seem to forget we can actively try to see the story through another character's perspective to empathize with them and their experience. It causes the fandom to lose a lot of understanding of different characters and their actions and the situations I noticed this are typically whenever Percy does something that could have had a negative impact on another character and everyone just ignores it.

That or when somebody tried to shed light on why a character may have been negatively impacted by his actions, it's typically filled with hate comments. Now I love Percy just as much as the next person but, let's all be real here - he can cause negative impacts to other people even if it's not intentional.

Let's all say it together: Percy Jackson can negatively impact other characters without malicious intent.

I feel like we seem to forget we see everything in the Percy Jackson and the Olympians series from Percy's perspective only. Meaning it has his bias. He's not what I'd call an unreliable narrator but, he is a character with his own opinions of people.

So wouldn't it be more interesting to try and look at PJO through another character's perspective? Annabeth's? Grover's? Nico's? So many other characters to try to imagine the perspective of.

Imagine how Percy inadvertently hurt Annabeth because she thought he died? (Battle of the Labyrinth) He didn't know what would happen so yeah, it's not his fault but, she had to of been really upset.

Imagine how Grover must've felt when Percy ditched him in the first book? He had to of been so anxiety ridden due to the fact he was positive Percy was a half blood. Percy didn't know about this but, he still inadvertently caused Grover a probable anxiety attack.

Last but, not least imagine how traumatizing it was for Nico when his crush was choking him? (The Last Olympian) Percy was trying to defend himself, yes, but could you imagine how traumatizing that was? I could write an entire post for this in itself. I have a lot of very strong opinions about this scene particularly and Percy and Nico's whole entire allyship(?) in the Last Olympian.

These are all times where Percy didn't mean any harm but, most likely caused a lot of harm. And they're all at different points in the series. As I said before, I love Percy but, a lot of people cannot handle when people point out how his actions towards other in the series affect other characters. I'd love for us to look at the stories or parts of the stories that are told from his perspective from other characters' points of view.

Perspective can alter and change an entire story and characters and it's frustrating that I don't see people playing around with character perspective.

#pjo/hoo #percy jackson #percy jackon and the olympians #just a thought #creative fic prompt??#annabeth chase #grover underwood #nico di angelo

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