#and i do not want them to Pity me

[emdotcom]

The Mario movie thing is so funny to me. Here, look at this:

Sonic movies (1, 2, & w/ 3 on the way) come out, does INCREDIBLE in box office, decimates Marvel films, who previously had a stranglehold

Nintendo sees this, wants a piece of that pie, buckles down to make a Mario movie Incorrect order of events, as pointed out here! Mario movie announced before the public knew about Sonic movie.

(Potentially because the previous Mario movie was so out there, did poorly, & was disliked by fans & then promptly forgotten,) they pair with Illumination, a studio that is largely known for making very sterile films

Btw, is it just me that finds it weird that there is no mention from Nintendo or online of the previous movie, in all this? Maybe I'm the only one who remembers this film idk

They announce casting. Everyone immediately boos because they cast Chris Pratt as Mario.

Immediate outrage, as Charles Martinet, the voice of Mario for DECADES, was not cast in his claim to fame roll

There is a (unsourced) rumor that a test screening for the film was met with disappointment, making Nintendo unhappy

Slightly corroborating this, Nintendo buys Dynamo Pictures, to make Nintendo Pictures, with the intent to make future movies in-house

Anticipation for the movie likens it to other sterile animated movies of the last 10 years, like the Minions movies

Trailer comes out.

People continue to boo Chris Pratt, a bad cast for a beloved character who is putting 0 effort into his voice, in comparison to all other VAs putting in 110%

Chris Pratt goes to bed "depressed," at seeing the response I was incorrect, that is an older article, about when he was thanking his wife for providing a healthy child, to which people drew immediate parallels to his ex-wife's son, who has many health complications & needed many surgeries.

But with your help, we can make him being depressed after media backlash reality!

Lol, &, may I say, lmao.

#gale chatter #mario movie #chris pratt #sonic movie #btw i 100% believe that rumor you cannot tell me that ain't what happened #also it is transparent that nintendo wanted what sonic movie had #damn maybe i don't do that batim video as my first maybe i do mario movie #my hot take is they should have cast both charles martinet & the super mario bros super show va #& used them interchangeably #bc. that would own #i wanted to mention thr jack black ass thing here but i feel it's too out there & irrelevant #at first reading the quote ppl got mad at i was little like 'oh dang is this not as bad as i thought' #but then i remembered 1) it's chris pratt he says rancid shut all the time & 2) #this response of stating he feels depressed while not like apologizing is just to do nothing but evoke pity #& he easily coulda apologized & been like 'i didn't mean it that way' or 'i wasn't thinking abt it & I'm sorry' #but he's not sorry. he doesn't see anything wrong with what he said. it's the internet's reaction that is thr problem in his mind #so he wants to make them pity him & feel bad that shit is TEXTBOOK manipulation i would know lol

[ganondoodle]

i often really do feel like an .. unwanted part of the fandom, i dont draw beautiful landscapes, i have unpopular but strong opinions im constantly annoying about and rarely change, dont like/dont draw the pretty young popular twinks and hot gurls to fanboi over nor do i turn characters into one, the opposite moreso, draw only one ship no ones heard of really, got little energy to interact with the few people that are nice to me and send me asks so it probably looks like im ignoring everyone and unfortunately but still rarely get so stressed i get overwhelmed and emotional about pehaps seemingly minor things and spiral almost into a breakdown feeling super embarrassed about it afterwards but the damage is already done and i look like a freak or agressive weirdo

#ganondoodles talks #also probably sounds like self pity #but this feeling hits everytime i see a super popular artist be the popular cool artist #i am a little weird i know that and thats not somethign bad i think #but the internet never gets to see that much of me #i tend to write posts when i am at my worst bc it has to go somewhere #so the image it tells people is that im a weirdly strong opiniod freak that gets breakdowns over nothing #i also dont feel like im otherwise -cool tm- enough to balance that out #i dont think my art is as stylized or as inventive as others nor am i cool to interact with bc idk how to be cool to interact with #i feel double bad when i misstepped with someone i used to talk to bc of something stupid ... or just dont know what i did wrong #im guessing its especially when i am in that spiraling state of mind where i really am not myself tbh #it still feels very bad bc i feel like i can never make it up to anyone again #sorry i acted like a jerk my brain was exploding in emotions in a desperate attempt to deal with something idk how to deal with- #-and made me not act like myself but now i feel really dumb about it #doesnt sound like a good excuse #... i want to thank those that do stick with me #even if i acted strange sometimes- even if i disappointed sometimes- even when i couldnt keep a promise #there are little things that still make me angry at myself #like that one time i asked in the tags whod read as long as the end of them and if someone did shoudl send me an ask so id draw a lil thing #and i got two #and i kept trying to remeber oh shit i need to do that and forgetting again/not having energy for it in a loop #i still feel like a jerk about it but now its probably too late #i wish i could answer all asks i get but man my energy for that is always rock bottom #no matter how much i enjoy the ask #and i love getting asks!!! #im sorry :((

[chirpsythismorning]

Some of the evidence supporting Mike not being in love with El is brutal. No, but seriously.

In s3, when El's leg is injured, instead of Mike putting his arm around her waist, allowing him to take some of the weight off her injured leg, he puts his arm around her shoulder, basically having the exact opposite affect of taking the weight off of her, instead just adding more weight for her to have to carry.

Now, I’m not coming at Mike here, I’m actually coming at the writers, because this choice here has everything to do with them using this gesture to signal Mike’s lack of feelings for El, even at the expense of realism.

I say this bc any person with common sense, including Finn and everyone around him and Millie filming these shots, would've known it looked unnatural for Mike to be adding more weight onto El as opposed to taking some off of her.

This means that what Mike did here, Finn was directed to do, and therefore it was for a specific reason.

And we know they could have easily made the opposite choice, because they show us Max AND Lucas doing it.

See how putting an arm around El's waist looks so much more natural? Because homegirl is injured and clearly needs help taking weight off her leg to qualm some of the pain she's experiencing there, which is why Max and Lucas are shown here doing it the correct way.

And so, why can't Mike do the same? Why are the writers making a point to show Mike being incapable of simply taking some weight off of El, instead doing the exact opposite?

I don't think it's as deep as Mike not being able to do something intimate, and that's bc, again we see Max and Lucas doing it.

I honestly think what they're trying to convey with this choice here, is that Mike thinks he's helping El, when he is in fact doing the opposite despite his best efforts. The implications of that and how that sort of aligns with their romantic relationship and what it leads to at the end of s3, going into s4, is pretty spot on.

I do think Mike thinks he's doing the right thing by being with El instead of voicing any doubts at the end of s3, because he is under the assumption that she is in love with him. I do think he believes he is indebted to her and that this is the least he can do after everything they've been through together, which has mostly been riddled with romantic pressures and so continuing that instead of disputing it seems like the only option anyways. Not to mention, he does care for her deeply, so it's not hard to imagine that he's a teenage boy confusing deep care for love (he literally tells us this is his problem when he can only say care and not love to El's face... but that's a whole other conversation).

Still, when it's all said and done, Mike's not actually doing El any favors by being with her romantically, if that is not what he truly wants.

Because that's the sad truth about all of this, which is that you would never want someone to be with you just because you want them. If you knew that they truly couldn't have those feelings for you, you'd want to know, right? You don't deserve someone just because you have deep feelings for them. And I think there's so many layers to this idea, bc many people are capable of not giving Byler a chance bc they truly believe Mike could never return Will's feelings. Will also feels this way atp, so though it hurts, he rips the band aid off, because he would never want Mike to be with him just out of pity or something. No one would want that. And so it all really comes down to who Mike truly loves romantically and wants to be with. And the right thing to do, even if it hurts someone, is to be honest, because being with them just bc you think that will make them happy is never going to be enough if you aren't truly feeling it, or worse, feel it for someone else.

We see how Mike's inability to be honest with El at the end of s3, leads to a season of Mike feeling deeply insecure and undeserving of the love El has to offer him, and even though he does try, he always comes up short. Despite Mike putting up this front that they are the perfect couple, the details are telling us something is off. And it gives him away.

Another example that I think is very similar to this loaded gesture from Mike to El in s3, is the scene in s4 when they hug in the airport.

Common sense ppl, picture this: You're reuniting with your long distance girlfriend. Then suddenly, she runs up to you, with her arms wide open, and instead of opening your arms wide to embrace her properly, you take the bouquet of flowers you brought her as a gift, and shove them against your chest just as she approaches to hug you, effectively squishing the present you got for her (a pretty delicate present at that) for no reason other than to... what exactly?

Like?? El isn't even squishing the present Mike, she's trying to hug you, dude! Your gf is trying to hug you properly and you threw the gift you got for her in between you so you could throw in a careful! x3??

Again, this has less to do with Mike's thoughts and reasoning behind this gesture in a literal sense, and more to do with the simple fact that this is a narrative choice! Mike is not a real person! There are real people sitting down and writing this and actors are having to do multiple takes to act it out. What feels natural for a situation is going to be what is often chosen 9 times out of 10, because of realism and wanting the audience to see stuff happening that is believable. That 1 time though, when it's not being done the way it would usually be, is usually because there's a specific reason for it.!

So the question really is, not why is Mike doing this, but why are the writers having Mike do this, and what message are they trying to convey about Mike's feelings based on his behavior, in these moments where he's just not capable of committing to El genuinely, one way or another?

#byler #no but most of the gay subtext is just so like... you really didn't have to do all that? #gay subtext at the expense of realism? check #mike thinks he's helping el by not breaking her heart and just being with her despite feelings for will he can't deny #very reminiscent of mike's 'maybe you thought you were helping but you weren't. you hurt me! what you did sucks!' #i do think it would be epic too see that moment come full circle but with el saying it to mike this time #bc i'm sure el would much rather have her heartbroken finding out that mike is incapable of loving her romantically #than to find out he was with her bc he didn't want to hurt her even at the expense of his own happiness #like no one wants to have someone be with them out of pity or obligation #we want someone to love us truly and deeply and genuinely! #we see how much el struggles in s4 bc of all the hints she's getting from mike that he doesn't genuinely love her #bc that's the most important part of a romantic relationship #it being equal #and it didn't feel that way #sure she's gonna be pissed #but she's gonna be more pissed he wasn't just honest #friends don't lie obvs

[moeblob]

I'm so close...... NY!Hrid is at +9. One more and I can drop the game.... I just love him so much and this alt is so happy and I need it for him...

#fe heroes #hrid #man i was looking back at my hrid art and i wanted to reblog some of it but then im like #mm nah most of my followers have seen it i wont force it upon them again #but i really do love hrid so uh here im so close to being done but i have to grind orbs #because my luck is abysmal right now as i glare at the red he shares with his sister #as i stare at the singular reds that drain my orbs just a bit faster than multiple reds #i mean GRANTED im at least GETTING reds but still #wild to me that i pulled a ny unit on his banner as a four star special after pulling her on her rerun banner #like i didnt already have her .... and it wasnt a red #so at least my pity wasnt broken by it but still wild that i pulled a ny rerun hero on a ny rerun banner that wasnt hers #i think i actually traded a couple of ny!gunns for feathers previously bc i keep pulling her instead of hrid #this alt is so much fun and i love it for him he deserves it ! since is doesnt want to acknowledge him otherwise #i say as i stare at last years summer banner casually name dropping him to say #wow sure is a shame hrid isnt here with us - maybe he will be next year #let hrid have nice things 2024 challenge

[melatien]

tiny yoichi (unwillingly) lures out soldiers by being his helplessness little self so his brother can strike

#bases are the most reliable way to find food afo found! #yoichi is crying bcuz he pitys them <3 #not because hes nervous #im gonna be honest i made this idea up on the spot when drawing this #pewdiepies new art video awakened something in me I NEEDED TO REMIND MYSELF I CAN STIL DRAW BANGERS TOO #i didnt disappoint myself!!!! competitiveness is my enemy and my bestie literally #anyways his right eye was an absolute horrendous nightmare to draw it was going so well until i did the hair then it ruined the eye #i actually thought yoichi was wearing shoes at this age but then i looked back at those chapters and realised yoichi was shoeless #WITH ONLY A BANDAGE ON HIS FOOT??!?!!?!? agony #can yoichi not make me wish he had something good in life for ONE SECOND #think of this as like how he responded to afo killing those people that (presumably) beat yoichi up beforehand #we dont know if hes crying because his brother is killing or if he was crying before being 'saved' #ill try do some fluff art soon ive been really interested in body horror related art lately so i wanted to play around!!! #i have a BUNCH of ideas written down ive yet to do #i just keep doing whatever i feel like #i am the master of ignoring the instructions and winging it #mha #my art #yoichi shigaraki #one for all #my hero academia #first ofa user #shigaraki yoichi #mha yoichi #tiny yoichi #tiny yoichi in his shabby little clothes #ive actually been dying to draw tiny yoichi again but KIDS ARE SO HARD TO DRAW!!!!! #i had an art moment though #HALLEJUHAH #art gods had my back fr

[kicktwine]

oh so alisaie’s exaggerated bully behavior is 80% fanon. saying this she casually picks up a large rock

#say one thing wrong to me and you will have a wonderful few days with the rock #if angry silly girls have 100 fans etc if they have 0 fans i have died #sorry i saw a YouTube meme i vehemently disliked on principle and got mad at the only child behavior- #kipspeak #she is just short tempered and uses anger to mask other more ‘shameful’ emotions!!! alphy did the same thing with just deciding not #to express them. which is still not good and I think why he breaks and ends up teary so often now #this shortness does not translate to actually being mean to people. she only uses being mean as a shield for herself and being snarky #Is just fun for her. it’s fun for Me. you have to inconsequentually tease people or they’ll never learn to laugh at themselves #the twins and thancred 🫵 do this thing where they have big emotions but they don’t want anyone to SEE they have big weird emotions #so alphy pretends he doesn’t have them under a veneer of dignity and alisaie pretends the emotions are Something Else. thancred is #just so emotionally constipated he has trouble expressing anything. he’s got enough baggage for a flatbed #anyways. alisaie is such a compassionate and kind girl and she learned how to make snarky jokes and went ham. and she hates appearing sad o #weak or vulnerable so she blocks it off with an unapproachable emotion so no one pities her and they maybe get on with the plot #it is in fact also great at getting ppl to move away from the sad or embarrassing topic. even if the tradeoff is being more offputting #she would never (grabs youtube meme) she would never seriously bully her brother. this is sibling ribbing only. Cain instinct #just leave her be she is learning how to snark humor and she loves it she loves being sharp. alphy has wit he just keeps it close #my brother didn’t learn how to tell or receive a joke until he was 14 he took everything so seriously. he can do it now though and he’s #HILARIOUS. Don’t tell him I said that. my man knows exactly where the funny points are even if he hasn’t learned when to stop yet #too many tags. Whatever. jokey snark alisaie who sometimes compliments is happy alisaie grouchy snappy angry alisaie is way too stressed #very easy way to tell between the two. even alphy can tell between the two I believe! He tends to rib back in protest if they’re having fun #and try to stop her if they’re not having fun. case in point ‘what is that supposed to mean?!’ vs ‘alisaie ryne was only trying to help.’ #I know they’re twins but that’s such an intensely older sibling thing to do that it reels me #LONG TAGS AND THREE EDITS TO ADD ON SHORT I resent this stereotype taken too far into ooc behavior. it happened with nya #It will happen again and as a postscript let me regale you with Things U Can Notice About Character Motivation and Actions— #I’m not done let me s #she and raha are friends now I decree. ‘haha you like me’ SPUTTERING PROTEST FROM BOTH

[mangofanarts]

(Excluding the original eggs out of this conversation) Out of the three new eggs, Empanada gives me oldest vibes, pepito gives off middle child vibes and Sunny is the youngest

#qsmp #qsmp empanada #qsmp pepito #qsmp sunny #you can't tell me that sunny doesn't give off such youngest kid vibes #she wants everything - she sees something and she points at it and immediately goes to her dad going DAD!!! I want that TOO!!! #she hands out diamonds to people even if it's out of pity #it's to help them out and she is sweet!! She handed a crown to the guy who her dad said #was her bodyguard and she wants to be a STAR!!! But at the same time she only sticks to her dad when he comes online #she wants to be liked just as any other kid does and doesn't understand why another kid can't like her and gets upset about it #Sunny is suchhhhhhhhhh a lil baby to me #Empanada seems like she would listen to her parents to whatever they will tell her to do and she will do her best so that she can get #validation from them and praise and she will get it!! While pepito - I don't feel like I need to explain with him #do you see my vision

[crystallizsch]

silver eye appreciation post because look at em,,, aurora-colored eyes,,,

#silver the *actual* disney princess #there might be a contender to jamil for prettiest eyes #silver's eyes can look so intense or so soft ;;; #also i know one of them his eyes are closed lmaooo #but he’s still so 🥺 #idk silver is growing on me #damn it book 7 #twisted wonderland #twst #twst silver #did you know this man had the audacity to come home for his dorm showcase and then appeared AGAIN on a random single pull #silver what do you want with me #peepaw lilia appeared later as pity for the anniversary event tho #i have the son and the father #★'-twst-rambles

[toruq]

#i have literally no idea if anything he says makes sense #i’m so panicked tonight because i had to be confrontational about something so personal #and talking about it sucks because i know i have to do it for life for me and OTHERS to be safe and happy #but i hate doing it because i hate when people know #either i don’t want them to pity me or hate me if they didn’t believe me #i can’t even help #sso #ssoblr #my art #star stable online #sso anne #anne von blyssen #sso concorde #i hope someone understands this comic because i can’t even do it myself if the words make sense 🙏

[rainbowpufflez]

You ever have an awful idea at 1 am and then get committed to doodling it

I’m so sorry for this

#this is a joke #I am ashamed for what I’ve done /j #i’m not I am cringe but I am free #I hate that this is simultaneously in and out of character for all of them #I was fucking rolling the whole time while drawing this #everyone pity my friend for having to watch me draw these #team flare lysandre #lysandre pokemon #professor sycamore #professor sycamore Pokémon #diantha pokemon #champion diantha #Emma’s there too but idk what to tag her as #all I wanted to do was draw Sycamore as wet cat core and then it just spiraled out of control from there #happy 10 year anniversary x and y #glad I can contribute #can I tag this as PerfectWorld shipping cause the undertones are there lmao #yeah this is inspired by that one time twitter put all the tumblr/twitter sexymans as Steven universe

[winslowat3am]

Do u give money to people on tumblr?

Short answer, no. I don't reblog those posts, either. Majority of them are scammers, bonus scamster points if they use their race/gender as emotional manipulation. (Rant incoming cause this pissed me off, not you, but it had me thinking about a lot of shit). I'm sorry but I could never be on Tumblr begging for money, that's embarrassing, no offense. I commend anyone who's shameless enough to do that cause in all seriousness, couldn't be me. I feel like there are just some things you shouldn't do & asking strangers, half of which are minors, to give you their hard earned money in trade for nothing is one of them. The victim mentality of "let me spam my followers with a bunch of sob story updates about my life's issues & guilt trip them into giving me cash", no. Leave them alone. That shit's annoying, inconsiderate & entitled. & it's always the same fucking people holding their hand out. The people you're begging for cash are more than likely struggling too & need theirs. Tumblr is the worst place to ask for assistance. If you need money then you should seek a financial aid program, or I don't know, log the fuck out & get a job like everyone else? That's what people who need money do. There's no excuse, I said this before & I'll say it again, making money nowadays is easier than it has ever been cause of access to technology. Everything is virtual. You can work from home. There are people making millions eating for a fucking living on YouTube. If you're broke atp it's cause you either make excuses for why you can't work or you're just lazy. It's a choice. You don't even need to physically go out & find a real job. Make something. Perform a service. Everyone has something they can offer. Don't sit there & expect people to pay you for nothing. I hate lazy ass people who wallow in self pity, make excuses & don't contribute anything to society & simply exist to leech off others. It's parasitic & pathetic. You "can't work", but you can play around on social media every day? Hmm. You deserve to live in poverty then. You're not special. You better sell some p-ssy, d!ck or c*ke. If you're bussing it open to everyone anyway you might as well get paid for it, in the words of my wife, "make it count". Seriously, I don't respect those people. Tumblr beggars are the equivalent of irl bums who loiter at gas stations harassing passersby for change. It's fucking irritating & unfair that we live in a world where weak people are rewarded, coddled, catered to & given breaks for doing nothing. "Oh well, you know, John can't work, he's dealing with a breakup that has him in a deep depression. I just- I don't know if his mental health will allow him to work." Bro, I sympathize but at the end of the day, screw John. He has no real problems. There are people with cancer & aids right now who are working. People with no limbs are working. He can work, he's physically able to, but ultimately he won't cause he's a mentally weak man with no drive. Let's just call it what it is. I've been homeless & depressed before, I dug myself out of that hole WITH NO HELP, if people can bounce back from homelessness, addiction, abusive relationships & rebuild their lives, if people with deformities can work there's no excuse for why these lazy asses are living in houses, have food & water, with themselves being the only person they have to take care of but they're on here begging us & living off the gov't. That shit IS sad. & I get so heated over this topic cause the bastards who log on & beg aren't going to log off fucking Tumblr & make adjustments so they can afford to live, they're not going to or offer an exchange, they'll continue to do this shit. In the comfort of their home. Meanwhile, the ones they beg have to scrounge. So no motherfucker, I can't help you spend my money. Follower counts mean nothing here cause nobody gets paid on this dead app, this ain't YouTube. If you have hella followers but you still can't eat or pay your bills it's a sign your priorities are fucked. Up. Your followers owe you nothing. Have a little pride & self respect.

#(& this isn't directed at you ❤️ It's me venting about wanting to smack the dog shit out of those people) #To clarify I empathize with people who have disabilities & impairments that prevent them from working #(autism down syndrome paraplegics birth defects people in wheelchairs those can't walk properly etc) #I love them for trying & I'm not talking about them #I'm willing to help those people ❤️ #I'm talking about the parasites who whine about how their life is so damn hard while sitting at home on social media collecting a check #AND beg us for our money while they actively do nothing to better their lives #Those who can walk skip jump with fully functional bodies but use anything as an excuse as to why they can't work & seek pity & donations #Fuck them #They deserve NOTHING & half of 'em are scammers #Log off Tumblr & sell your fucking iPhone 11 if you need money #Stop bothering these people #long post #ask box #inbox #self vent #answered

[justslowdown]

Today, I was meditating on how my face will never look the same as before the cyst, and how I had thought that would bother me more than it does.

It decided to get... really, really bad during an extremely personally impactful few weeks of my life, where I made strides forward in my personal journey. Once I have surgery to remove the scar tissue and then have a scar from THAT--I'm glad I'll have a reminder. Like a tattoo my body gave me. Even the worst pain I've felt, before it came to a head, was part of the experience I needed.

I think a lot about how grateful I am for my little wrinkles starting, too. I can't wait to move past my 20s. What a blessing to be alive and safe to age.

My friend visited recently who's turning 30 and she was joking about how old we're getting, in that way you can tell there's real stress there. I was puzzled.

I forget sometimes that it's fear, not vanity, behind a lot of the expressionless Botox faces out there.

"Everyone wishes for youth"

I don't think so.

Every moment is experience and a gift. I feel with conviction it's all moving me along a meaningful journey, if I look for that meaning. I'm glad for the horrible things I've experienced. I'm glad for the chance to grow and continue down the river!

#i would never expect people to feel gratitude the way i do for things that have left them wanting desperately to be dead #that's a horrible thing to want from someone else. but i'm very glad that i've reached the place where i do. #putting something in a box to tuck away finally but doing it with tenderness and with pity for the suffering that led to it #these tags are a tangent but the physical has had me thinking about gratitude for the mental scars too

[viviraptor]

one art thing that keeps making me want to pull my hair out is when ppl post a drawing and immediately call it bad/mention its flaws in the caption. whatever you think you're doing with that i can assure you it's not working

#vivi.txt #listen to me. putting my hands on your shoulders. #i know you think calling your art bad makes you sound humble and relatable and funny but that is not how it looks to other people. #i'm going to be harsh for a second it sounds like your self esteem is low and you're looking for interaction out of pity. #BUT YOU HAVE TO LISTEN i know this because i did it too!!!! #saying those things over and over made me believe they were true. and a lack of interaction made it feel like others were agreeing with me #and maybe they are! when you mention something's flaws to someone they're obviously gonna look for them and notice them #and they might just ignore your stuff BECAUSE of that #and whatever notes you do get you've conditioned yourself to believe that they came out of pity for you which FEELS TERRIBLE #you have to get out of the habit of putting down your work. you don't even have to love it you don't have to think it's perfect #but your own words are is going to influence how others perceive it and not always in a good way!! #plus whatever mistake you wanted to mention would probably be totally ignored by others if you don't say anything. streisand effect #JUST PLEASE BE KIND TO YOURSELF. PEOPLE WILL MATCH YOUR ENERGY AND BE KIND TO YOU IN RETURN OKAY. PROMISE

[caffeinatedopossum]

I'm trying really hard to give myself the room to accept my aromanticism despite being in a seemingly romantic relationship with my girlfriend but it's so hard because I know very few people will understand it

#like 'how can you be aromantic if youre in a relationship??' like damn idk bro im just out here loving and committing to people #what more do you want from me #but that sense that im not 'real' like i camt actually fit in to the community is so stronf #im worried that other aromantics will think im fake or misrepresenting them or something :( #or even worse that people will pity my girlfriend :( i know some already do because of my asexuality #idk how to respond to that because one hand i do understand that most people would not be in a relationship with me like this #but my girlfriend is in a relationship with me by choice which means clearly whatever compromise youre imagining shes making #to stay with me is worth it to her #otherwise she wouldnt have stayed with me for 2 years #lmao she has so many options too. like so many people like her and she still chooses me >_<

[ekuns]

i wish my drive to create hadnt disappeared

#bitching and moaning dont look #rii rambles #i miss it i miss drawing i miss writing #but almost no one looks at anything i make and i hate that #when i copy corpo artstyles people look but when i use my own only friends care and that makes me feel like its pity #and even if it is just pity im glad that they go out of their way to try and make me feel better but #i wish the stuff i made was actually good in some way. i want to be genuinely seen #and with my writing only like 3 people read it and even though some friends say its good they dont even read #and if they do its just 1 of them and nothing else

[hiveswap]

Im going to fucking throw up

#i hate posting about how im insecure abt my drawings because that just makes people rb them out of pity thats annoying as shit dont do that #but then i try for hours to draw something and its honestly not important to me but by the end im pretty pround #so i post it knowing no ones gonna give a shit #and yeah pretty much thats what happens #and i feel like shit bc no one owes me attention ffs #and i know it isnt anything special and i should have drawn something actually interesting instead of another portrait #and i complain to my mother and shes like #'well this is something a child would have drawn it isnt good' #and im like oooh i should kms got it #like obviously im the one who craves validation without putting any effort into making it actually cool #so this is like no one's fault and im self aware of it and it drives me INSANE #and i need to vent this but it will make someone go pity rb all of my stuff and it's gonna feel like shit bc i hate begging for notes #like you know if someone wasnt going to reblog why beg them to. thats not them actually liking the art thats bullshit guilt tripping #i dont even need exposure i dont sell any drawings exposure is useless to me i dont even know what i want #i just want to make something that people like what the fuck