Tumgik
#and i can't create a structure for my life if I'm the one enforcing it
syrena-del-mar · 1 month
Text
Selfish Desires and the Class War: Dead Friend Forever
Ever since @nyxelestia's great additions to my tags about how Phee has been able to process his grief in comparison to Tan, and succinctly stated how class theorists regard poverty as a type of violence, I can't help but take a bit of a socio-economic look at the DFF's group of friends. Particularly, episode 10 really served to solidify my theory on the underlying commentary DFF is making regarding selfishness and the different abilities to skirt punishment dependent on class.
For this one, I'm going to break this down in a couple of categories: first, I'm going to explain Hobbes' theory on human nature and Marx's theory on class wars. Then I will be listing out the 'class types' each one of the DFF boys are in (sans White). Finally I will be analyzing the THC gang with Non, then Phee and New.
Keep in mind that here I will be defining 'selfish desires' as to the innate human inclination to prioritize one's own needs, wants, and interests over that of others. Meanwhile class war/conflict will be in reference to the societal divide into different classes dependant on their relationship to their means of production and value.
Tumblr media
Human Nature According to Hobbes
In Hobbes' 'Leviathan', he delves into understanding human nature. His conclusion is probably best summarized by his most known phrase, "'the state of nature." In this state of nature, where Hobbes hypothesized about a life where there is no government, no laws, or state of order, just simply individuals that are able to live without constraints. Hobbes found that life would be "solitary, poor, nasty, short, and brutish."
Hobbes' comes to the conclusion, that absence of societal constraints, humans are driven by desire to secure their own survival and fulfill their desires. Hobbes states that there is an universal, fundamental drive for self-preservation that leads to a state of equality among humans. Yey, instead of being able to live in harmony, the equality, particularly in vulnerability to harm and death, breeds competition since it is human nature to scrounge, secure, and vie for resources— even when it means taking advantage of one another.
Central to Hobbes' theory of human nature is fear—fear of others, fear of harm and fear of uncertainty. Without structure, humans are trapped in a perpetual state of insecurity, creating a 'war of all against all'. Hobbes acknowledges that individuals have natural rights, particularly the right to self-preservation but with a lack of governing authority, the enforcement to this right is essentially meaningless.
Tldr; there are four main components to human nature: self-preservation, fear and insecurity, equality and competition, and natural rights.
Theory of Class Wars
Now, enter Karl Marx and Friedrich Engels and we have the theory that a society is divided into two classes: the bourgeoisie and the proletariats. The bourgeoisie, own the means of production and are able to explore the labor of the proletariat for profit, which ends up leading to human alienation and inequality.
When it comes to the relationship of selfish desires and class war, at its core, the idea instills that a capitalist system incentivizes and rewards the selfish pursuits among the bourgeoisie. The accumulation of wealth and exploitation of labor and the quest for profit are the driving forces between constructing and maintaining class inequalities.
Dead Friends Forever: The Intersection of Social Class Divide and Selfish Desires
The thing about Dead Friend Forever is that there is a visible class division between Por and Non, which drowns out the undercurrent class differences between the rest of the DFF gang.
Por: He is born into power and higher class. His mother ever states "Do you think I'll be in trouble for kind of thing?" He is born into awareness of his status and the privilege.
Jin: Just from the house that he lives, you can tell that he is relatively well off. The finishes in the house both interior and the exterior show that his family, while not as rich as Por, are likely more than financially stable.
Phee: His dad is a police inspector, which likely provides decent money, as he is able to send his son to a private school on a single household income.
Fluke: We're given enough information that we know he wants to be a doctor and make his mom proud, he's attending tutoring classes and there's no mention of money issues.
Top: No mention of struggling for money, can safely assume that he lives comfortably.
Tee: Struggling, has a lot of debts to Uncle Joe in order to keep his dad alive.
New/Non: Their whole family is struggling even before Non went missing. What little money they had was sent over to New, even taking on debts to be able to provide for him abroad. They were one paycheck away from losing everything, which they eventually did.
Non and the THC Gang
Tumblr media
Aside from Tee, the main group are all born into various levels of wealth and privilege, whether it be purely monetary or with the jobs of their parents, so they're able to navigate their life with an air of entitlement. Their desires are all shaped by the comforts and opportunities that their status affords them. Por's family alone was able to get their high school film reported on and with a viewing, merely with the mother's flippant mention of the project. Not to mention that Por's mother explicitly sets the tone of how she would be treated compared to Non's mom. It's a stark contrast, Non stands out as the outsider, not only due to his lack of friends in the school, but also marginalized by his lack of wealth and social standing in comparison to the rest of the gang. And in an odd way, it's likely why he felt a certain degree of kinship with Tee, who is the only other individual visibly struggling to survive, even if he mostly keeps his money troubles away from his group of friends.
The whole reason Non even gets involved with the group is because the group, particularly Por and Fluke, are driven by their hunger for success and recognition. Por likely wanted his parents to find some pride in him and Fluke needs it to round out his resume when applying to medical school. They desperately want to win the sponsorship, so they need and use Non— not as an equal but as a means to an end. They exploit his talent in scriptwriting and they use him as a pawn, not even inviting him to the presentation when its Non's script their using. Hell, they barely could stand being close enough to take a picture with Non. They quite literally use him as a pawn, an easy exploit, reminiscent of Hobbes' notion of self-interest as a driving force.
As the show continues on, the exploitation of Non takes on darker shades, echoing Hobbes bleak depiction of the state of nature. The initial bullying, that is rooted in class-based prejudices, transforms into a calculated campaign of cruelty. While Tee might be struggling financially, he's actually the true leader of the group. Sure, Por may have the money, but the guys only follow what Tee wants. Top and Tee use Non's marginalization against him, almost as if vultures feeding on the weaker. Top doesn't have to pay for the camera and Tee is able to find Uncle Joe's next victim for the horse accounts, a complete parallel of Hobbes' description of the strong dominating the weak in the absence of a social contract. In doing so Non, the 'marginalized' becomes fodder for the selfish desires of Tee and Top, initiating a chain-reaction event to Non's detriment.
Tumblr media
While Por, Tee, and Top have the more obvious benefits with how Non is treated, so does Fluke. Fluke, in the hierarchy of status within the group, is at the bottom rung. With Non there he's able to be treated better and he no longer is the scapegoat. He admits it in this episode. He needed Non to be mistreated, because he feared being targeted by the rest of the THC gang, and having Non around kept everyone else's attention off of him. He was no longer the one being harrassed. He's able to sacrifice Non for his own benefit.
The thing about Fluke is that he doesn't overtly try to harm Non, not in the same way that the others do. No, his covert damage that he causes Non is in his silence. He sees Top destroy the camera, Tee come up with the idea to target Non, he sees Jin film Non and Kru Keng, he even questions Jin's intentions to film, but he's spineless. He cares more for himself, he prioritizes his self-preservation. He maintains the status quo and utilizes Non's weakness so that he isn't the next target.
Tumblr media Tumblr media
Initially, Jin's treatment of Non seems to defy the expected narrative of class exploitation, since out of the group he's the one that is the most compassionate and understanding. From a Marxist perspective, this initial compassion could be understood as an acknowledgment of the inherent inequalities that exist between the affluent and the marginalized. Jin's actions might suggest a fleeting moment of solidarity, recognizing and acknowledging Non's humanity beyond his status. However, his demeanor shifts dramatically when he realizes that Non doesn't reciprocate his romantic feelings and worsens when he sees him with Kru Keng.
Hobbesian human nature, which is driven by the pursuit of power and self-interest, comes to the forefront as Jin's wounded pride and sense of rejection fuel his actions. In Hobbes' state of nature, individuals are driven by their desires and fears leading to betrayal and conflict. His change in behavior to Non reflects this as he seeks to assert dominance and control in the face of perceived rejection by punishing Non. Jin's betrayal of Non's trust and kindness underscores the harsh realities of class divides, where compassion can quickly give way to exploitation. Hobbes argued that individuals in the state of nature are in constant competition for power and self-preservation, here Jin's realization that Non does not reciprocate his feelings leaves him feeling vulnerable and exposed.
Tumblr media Tumblr media
Non's role as a commodity within the framework becomes clear as filming continues. His talent is valued solely for its ability to bring profit and success to the friends. Yet, despite his contributions, Non remains alienated from the fruits of his labor, he's always the worker and never the leader. Continuing this trend of being a pawn in group's quest for recognition. Marx's concept of false consciousness is evident, since Non remains unaware of the true nature of his exploitation until its too late.
The group needs to get rid of Non, because he's become a lose cannon. Tee needs him delivered to his Uncle, so that he can survive and continue to receive the payments he needs to keep his dad alive. The depths of their depravity are laid bare and echoes both Hobbes' and Marx's grim assessments of human nature intertwined with class conflict. Non becomes a victim to their cruelty, to their selfish desires, and the stark reality of coming from a poor family. He disappears into the abyss of the mafia, while the rest of the group continue to live their lives unperturbed, shielded by their wealth and privilege.
Interestingly enough, every single one of the guys that come from a better socio-economic status have begged for Non's forgiveness while under the influence of New's hallucinogens. The only one who doesn't is Tee. Yes, he is under the distress of confessing his crimes since Fluke is holding White hostage, but he's the only one that is willing to admit fault and ask for forgiveness without having to hallucinate Non's face or his voice. All this leaves me asking, what depths of betrayal and exploitation were the THC gang willing to sink to in their quest for dominance? Did Tee's penance begin when attempted to help Non escape his Uncle Joe? Was Non actually able to escape or had they sent him to his death?
2. Phee and New/Tan
Tumblr media Tumblr media
Even through Phee and New, we can see Hobbesian and Marxist themes in their different versions of grief they experience over Non's disappearance.
New embodies the the essence of Hobbesian human nature, bringing around the idea of 'war of all against all'. His relentless pursuit of revenge becomes a primal instinct for survival, since he has lost everything good in his life. His brother, his childhood home, his education, his mother, and finally his father, in that very order, over the span of three years. New's grief over the disappearance of Non becomes a consuming force that propels him into a world of darkness. In Hobbes' state of nature, individuals are typically driven by self-interest and the pursuit of power, which New's quest of revenge reflects this fundamental aspect. His quest against the friends responsible isn't solely about revenge, but it's a desperate attempt to assert agency and justice in a world that has denied his family both.
Marx argues that in a capitalist society, the bourgeoisie will exploit the proletariat for profit, perpetuating class struggles. Non was exploited for his script, but New represents the proletariat, the oppressed working class fighting back against the forces of oppression. His revenge is a revolt against the oppressive structures of class inequality that have marginalized his whole family. In Marxist terms, his journey is a symbol of the proletariat struggle against exploitation and injustice, which echos the revolutionist spirit of Marxism.
On the other hand, Phee, who is financially well-off and still has his father, represents the privilege and the detachment from the struggles of the proletariat. He never fully understood why Non wasn't receptive to his help, similarly he's not completely understanding New's own thirst for revenge. While Phee is initially driven by a desire to uncover the truth about Non's disappearance, and while he still loves Non, it's mostly driven by guilt and grief within the context of privilege. Phee has things, people, in his life that still matter outside of Non. Yes, he loved Non, but he's able to move on from his grief, reflecting the detachment and apathy that can settle in with privilege. Under Marx's critique of the bourgeoisie, who exploit the proletarian, it's because Phee still has his Dad and other things he loves in life that he is able to move on from the type of anger in grief that New finds himself overwhelmed in.
It's going to be interesting where Phee and New's friendships heads in the last two episodes. Will it New and Phee collide in a violent confrontation that mirrors the clash between the oppressed and the privileged? Is DFF trying to make a comment on the class war where New's relentless pursuit of revenge against the THC gang represents the proletariat's revolt against exploitation, while Phee's detachment echoes the bourgeoisie's indifference to the plight of the marginalized? Or it will show that Phee and New are able to put their social status aside in order to find revenge against the true bourgeoisies, in this case the THC gang, that exploited Non for all his worth until ultimately destroying him.
Final Thoughts
While this episode may feel significantly weaker in comparison to the last five, I think it's providing us with the necessary exposition as we head into our final two episodes. We're seeing the destruction of the 'bourgeoisie' by their own hands with just a little nudge from the sole proletariat. As Hobbes would likely agree, it's a dog eat dog world in that cabin. It always had been with Top, Por, Tee, Fluke and Jin. There was an equality between them, but now with an outside force, their bonds are breaking and they are willing to kill each other just to survive.
Dead Friend Forever is going beyond the standard slasher genre, even beyond horror. I truly think it's making social commentary regarding the classes and human nature. It's going to be interesting to see who comes out the survivor of this party from hell, if there is anyone.
Tagging @slayerkitty for DFF's meta round up.
112 notes · View notes
northwest-by-a-train · 5 months
Text
Mutual 1: I wish someone could kill me so I could be reincarnated as a saxophone solo in Al Stewart's 1991 song Year of the cat
Mutual 2: Horror keeps piling upon horror and we will live old and wrinkled in this time of horrors. The only cure is to post black and white pictures of men who have problems
Mutual 3: killing baby Caesar does lengthen the lifespan of the roman empire by ~350 years, as it dissolves into some sort of federalist-feudalist structure not unlike the Holy Roman Empire. The main difference is that a sort of loose syncretic pan-imperial polytheism is the dominant religion, leading to Icelandic temples of Isis and Ethiopian temples of Epona. As such, this timeline was spared the drawbacks of a centralized state-enforced organized religion. The main drawback is that being a furry is considered blasphemy by the vast majority of humanity.
Mutual 4: if Pendleton Ward does not make Mr Cupcake a Trotskyist I will set the cartoon network offices on fire
Mutual 5: if Serial Experiments Lain was made today they would make her cis. Well. Not on my watch
Mutual 6: Can we take a minute here and normalize arms trading? Marginalized communities need those 3D-printed untraceable ghost guns with Family Guy muzzles, I need to make a living since I was thrown out of the commune by Hannah-Arendts-Strap (message me for details), Seth MacFarlane needs people to watch season 27. But Academia will talk about Kant's white-ass categorical imperative to argue no one should sell guns. Typical.
Mutual 7: I am in your walls. Why is there lead paint on your radium plumbing my dude. You know that's not aryuvedic.
Mutual 8: I'm sorry but Robespierre was a scapegoat of most of the French revolution's atrocities, and bourgeois reactionary elements have tried to turn him into a proto-totalitarian crazed madman, but the historical record paints a much more complex picture. Which is why I don't believe he would ever whip Danton's ass like you just wrote. He would be the one wearing the ball gag. How can I make you see the truth my brother ?
Mutual 9: Arabic and Eastern European poetry have been superior throughout the late 20th/early 21st century. We also have the best cigarettes. If we keep going we can surround Constantinople in the next decade, and restore the Palaiologos to their rightful place.
Mutual 10: The callout posts are true. Reflecting on it, it was obvious that our attempt to create a secret #LiberateBelize discord channel without British people was chavphobic. We are listening and learning.
Mutual 11: Pinkie Pie could negotiate the Oslo Accords, but Bill Clinton could never bag pony Weird Al
Mutual 12: If I think about Betty Groff for more than two seconds I'll divorce my husband. I got the papers and everything. But I won't. I'm brave like that. #ChristianLove
Mutual 13:
Tumblr media
Mutual 14: I was visited by the virgin Mary last night. Again. She told me I can't make my girlfriend pregnant like that. Again. But I know Ron L. Hubbard is with me, and it's all that matters.
Mutual 15: Mustard gas doesn't even taste like mustard. You guys lied to me. My Mac & Cheese is ruined.
Mutual 16: Stop saying my think tank advocates killing orphans. We're pro-harvesting organs in youth correctional facilities for reduced sentences !!! But again we see the pro-carceral bias inherent to Lutherans. Have you guys even read Angela Davis ?
Mutual 17: Here's my solution to the Israel-Palestine conflict: spend a hundred billion dollars for multiversal research, reach the mirror universe. Israelis get the biblical kingdom of Israel borders on this earth, Palestinians get the 1948 borders in the mirror universe. I think this is the fairest deal America can offer at this time.
Mutual 18: I tried to live the life of a restless European adventurer in Macau playing roulette and serving as a mercenary to various conglomerates. Turns out they also charge rent there. And income is taxable too. And I bet everything on Red. And I don't speak Mandarin, Cantonese or Portuguese. Help me pay for my flight home! 6¢/50 000$ collected!
Mutual 19: Yeah the canonization of Bolaño as the latest LatAm literary genius speaks to a sort of general malaise in post-colonial literature due to the collapse of magical realism as a viable tradition for meaningful political messaging. So the literature of unease and obsession and maladjustment itself is canonized, like an oyster canonizing the grain of sand that's tearing it apart. The fact that no other major voice has really appeared on the continent within the past 20 years should tell us this isn't working. Which is why the Brazilian JoJo fandom has a unique opportunity to meaningfully impact the course of world literature. #Multipolarity
Mutual 20: wow guys someone left a tray of perfectly good Mac & Cheese on a windowsill! Yummy!
Mutual 21: Did medieval surgeons pulling teeth get erections? I wouldn't normally ask this of my followers but I'm arguing about Sex Work with the ghost of Andrea Dworkin and I need hard evidence (no pun intended lol)
Mutual 22: Electro-Swing is a Belgian psy-op. I can't prove it, but I know it
Mutual 23: I'm the first neutered catgirl to be tried in a military court. But I know I'm not the last.
Mutual 24: Did you guys know you could eat olives? The thing they make oil from? I ordered three kilos of motors, so I can eat it with my roommate's Mac & Cheese
Mutual 25: Anglicans, amirite ? [Sounds of raucous applause]
22 notes · View notes
pumpkzsafeplace · 8 months
Note
Hewos
Me went oo doctwor yestwerday! M' doctwor nwice. She gave me few suggwestwions on how oo make m' ears feel bettwr and den she lwitsen oo my storwies for a wittl bit!
An ywesterdway mornwing me made cupcwakes! Dey chocowate cupcwakes wif stwabewwy fwosting. An since me vewy nice, me been sharwing da cupcwakes, so here one for ywou 🧁 an one for oo daddwy 🧁
----- (wittl vwent)
My new cg weally nwice, but she nuh bween twalking oo me vewy much. I lwucky if I get a few messwages fwom her. She nuh giv me vewy manwy rwules, an dat otway I gwes, but m' nweed rwules. Da onwy rwules I hab are dat me not allwoed oo be mwean, say no-no words and m' bedtwime ish 11:30 an dat it. M' don rweally knu how oo bwing up da idwea of havwing a few mwor rwules, but i knu I need dem.
Anwyways, m' havwnt weally been abwle oo slweep throwugh da nwight at awl dis week. Yestwerdway m' pwetty sure m' onwy slwept for wike 4 or 5 hwours :( M' twied lwistening oo mwusic, thwinking abwout sleepwing, not thwinking abwout slweepwing. Someone fwom a discword servwr I in evwn startd a vc so dey culd rwead me a stowry, an dat dat didwnt evwn hwelp me go nini. Don knu wha else oo twy.
An da othwr day I startwed misswing someone dat I rweallllly shouldwnt miss. Dey were mwean oo me, and got in SO much twouble, but dey gav me attwention a wot. M' fink I jus miss awl da attwention, but m' jus fweel so guiltwy fwor misswing dem wen I knu I shuldnt. It just rweally bothwering me dat I'd even fink abwout misswing dem an m' don knu wha dwo
-👑
─•~❉᯽❉~•─
hihi lil bug’ 🌼
awwww, thank you for the cupcakes little one <3.
daddy gave you a smile & thanked you too, heheh <3
i'm glad you went the doctors for your ear, hopefully it gets better super soon! <3
sometimes, when we crave somthing, our mind just starts to go against us and makes us miss people that we know were bad for us- but we just can't help it.
my advice would be to talk to your cg about what you're craving. different littles have different structures, and she may not have heard about giving and enforcing rules before as some littles don't use them in their routine. for example, me & daddy use collars- some little's dont', it just depends on the person & their little dynamic.
regarding the attention, she might live a busy life little one- so you two could come up with routines to suit that lifestyle. for example, when daddy is working on a project we have 'back up routines' that we put in place that ensure i'm looked after but also to give daddy the right amount of time to do his work.
although they wish they could spend every waking moment with us, the sad reality is that they can't :<. & maybe all this worrying is effecting your sleep patterns? maybe address that point with your cg & create a new bedtime routine so that you can talk to her before going to sleep <3.
communication & establishing those boundaries can be difficult in new dymanics, but i promise you it'll be worth it in the end! <3.
keep fighting little one! <3
big big big big hugs <3
& i hope you have better days ahead!
-🍰
6 notes · View notes
cookingwithroxy · 1 year
Text
Tumblr media
I posted 3,615 times in 2022
200 posts created (6%)
3,415 posts reblogged (94%)
Blogs I reblogged the most:
@takashi0
@siryouarebeingmocked
@someoneintheshadow456
@arc-hammer
@true-king-of-monsters
I tagged 69 of my posts in 2022
#youtube - 34 posts
#my oc's - 8 posts
#n4n1 cybergoth - 2 posts
#yadda yadda - 2 posts
#now i'm going to go back to my true calling - 1 post
#dullahan girl - 1 post
#sorry about the delay tumblr hates this ting for some reason - 1 post
#the gentleman mage - 1 post
#won't be till christmastime most likely but yesss - 1 post
#yeah when i get the funds i need to get my mage done in this style - 1 post
Longest Tag: 123 characters
#and really our issues in the other thread is over us not being able to get eachother to understand why our views don't mesh
My Top Posts in 2022:
#5
I think part of the problem when discussing Cyberpunk in general and cybernetics in specific is that there are some very very deep questions that the idea raises. What makes a person a person, how much will changes to your body affect you psychologically? Is there a legitimate question of psychological disorders that might arise from the intentional removal of healthy tissue for non-organic replacements? At what point do you stop being a person and start being just a very structurally unsound CPU for a robot?
And then you ask those questions there's some jackass who feels obligated to jump in and say 'How dare you, that's my fetish there can be NOTHING wrong with the idea and you're a bigot for even asking if there could be!'
And I'm just left here going 'I legitimately don't care if you want to be Adrián Barbeaubot, I just want to ask these questions of the little mouse who's taken over the hollowed out spaces where your brain used to be and is now piloting your body like a meat mecha.'
256 notes - Posted September 21, 2022
#4
As I fucking thought, Uvalde police waited while people bled out, and the Border Patrol had to step in just to go after the shooter...
And what's more, the Uvalde Police DID NOT EVEN EVACUATE OTHER STUDENTS. Jesus fucking christ.
262 notes - Posted June 23, 2022
#3
'Is the reason why people do not see government run industry as a monopoly because they are presented as services instead' is a very interesting question and a valid one to be asked. Because jesus now that I think of it, that literally IS my perspective on things, that I do not object to the State doing certain things because they are 'services', that these are the tasks I hire the government to do, and ONLY want the government doing.
But honest to fuck that I had to do this journey of self-discovery all on my own because ancaps can't be fucking bothered to think past their own biases is a fucking trip.
306 notes - Posted September 22, 2022
#2
You know, simple thought that struck me yesterday but I didn't really have the specifics of what I wanted to say until this morning?
the whole KPP thing proves without a shadow of a doubt that so many people on this website would have gleefully become nazi's. Not because they're somehow racist, that's not the thing.
But because when they were given a meme and a target, they gleefully jumped into making a person's life hell, just for the fun of it, lifted up by the bullshit excuse that they were attacking a 'worthy' target.
They didn't have any knowledge of the situation, they didn't have context, they had an 'acceptable' target and a 'fun!' way of attacking them. And so they did it, without any prompting.
Without any profit, any threats against them, without anything to force their hands. They just attacked, for the pure joy of attacking, and considered themselves heroic in doing so.
And so many of them, I'm sure, will take this statement as harassment of THEM, for pointing out that they did no good thing in this.
It's just how Tumblr is.
Tumblr media
401 notes - Posted May 5, 2022
My #1 post of 2022
You know, with all the people going 'why are you bitching about LGBT characters being put into media' I'm starting to wonder if ANY of you have heard about the Iceman debacle.
446 notes - Posted February 22, 2022
Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →
3 notes · View notes
sepsis-star · 2 years
Text
the following image shows my results in the Narcissistic Personality Inventory or NPI. i would like to spend some time thinking about these results as well as the test itself.
Tumblr media
this test is available online and i’m interpreting these results as someone who lives in my own body and not as someone who has carefully studied narcissism or personality disorders in general. the test includes a series of multiple choice questions, all with two options that the candidate has to choose between. some things I enjoyed about this test that i would like to bring attention to:
it doesn't view narcissistic traits as inherently bad, and in fact a score that is too low might even be indicative of a candidate who does not have or may not actively be seeking enough control over their life. however, know that i say this as someone who did get a low score (8/40) so i truly do not intend to pass any judgment to anyone based off of their score on this test. i highly doubt i'm the type of person to judge someone based off their result in most tests.
it never occured to me to break narcissism down into seven categories - authority, self-sufficiency, superiority, exhibitionism, exploitativeness, vanity and entitlement. i think prior to me taking this test (which, yes, was because of that one episode of the popular podcast Frenemies), i used a lot of these terms interchangeably, which no longer makes any sense to me now that i see my results.
the way the multiple choice questions are structured are, in my opinion, not supposed to draw an absolute and irrefutable inference on how you think or exactly what you would do in a given circumstance. but it does do this sneaky thing where it backs you into a corner and forces you to choose between the two given options, which i do think is important in a personality test. the two choices may not even necessarily be exact opposites of each other, they might simply be two ways you would react to the exact same trigger. with some if not all the questions, i chose answers based off of how the statements in each of the options sounded to me as opposed to picturing the action of the event described in the question, i hope this makes sense now that i'm trying to type this out. i guess another way to word this might be that i chose answers based off of whether i would actually say that statement in real life to someone else in any context, not just the context they lay out in the question, and avoided those answers that did not sound like they would come from my mouth. if you're someone who also struggles with decision making especially in multiple choice personality test questions, i think that is a good criteria to follow to make the process a little easier and quicker.
for the sake of me rereading this in the future and ruminating on these results, i think it would be helpful for me to add the oxford language definition of each of the seven categories to know exactly what we're getting to in terms of the results.
authority: the power or right to give orders, make decisions, and enforce obedience pretty low score on this one but it's not negligible. i'm not sure how much i really want people to show obedience towards me, however i do appreciate those who show me loyalty. i'm not sure how closely related loyalty and obedience are but i only ever imagine loyal people being obedient. now that i think about it, i have had to show obedience towards people that i wasn't loyal to (any boss i have ever had). but obedience combined with loyalty towards someone is a feeling so strong and not one that is unscathed easily, and i can't lie, someone that feels that way for me is something that i think i would really appreciate, but only if i reciprocate those feelings. authoritativeness is one facet i would like to work on, i do indeed want to be able to make more active decisions that alter the course of my life as do a lot of people, i'm sure. it seems as though the decisions that create the most massive impacts are usually the ones that also impact other people, a lot of people, usually most of them showing some amount of obedience. i think a part of me feels like i would want to be more authoritative because it would make me feel safer in those occasions when someone is being authoritative towards me. surprise, surprise, i love being dominated sexually, but the biggest problem i have faced from this is being rendered so powerless by the end of these sexual endeavors, that god awful feeling of not having any authority at all. i need people to show obedience towards me so i can feel the pleasure that comes with being obedient to someone else. but on the same token, i wonder if i can derive a sense of authoritativeness from the very fact that i enjoy being dominated, the control i have over wanting to be controlled.
self-sufficiency: needing no outside help in satisfying one's basic needs, especially with regard to the production of food this one definitely needs work, and it is something i am working on actively. i do think that actively asking for help when you need it is also a way to get to being self-sufficient. there is no possible way you can be self-sufficient without ever needing someone else's help. self-sufficient people are usually inspired, mentored, guided by other self-sufficient people. self-sufficiency really shows your will to live, by any means necessary being dedicated not only to surviving but truly living your life to the furthest of your capabilities and expanding on what your capabilities even are, that includes your ability to ask questions particularly to people you don't know.
superiority: a supercilious manner or attitude i think this score makes sense to me and i don't feel any need to work on this particular aspect of the NPI. i think there is a part of my brain that can be pretty rigid and cynical and i think that would only be worsened with a deeper sense of superiority, although i do think being aware of this superiority can lead to a pretty good sense of humour. i like my score in this particular category because it is on the lower end but is not non-existent. by and large i think this feeling stems within people either from how other people look, physically, relative to them - which no one has any control over anyway and is absolutely inconsequential to how people live unless someone else is fucked to make a big deal out of it - or how people think or feel, which is always subject to changes no matter who you are because that is simply how life is. feeling superior because you may feel like you're the best looking person in a room or the most intelligent person with the best opinions comes across as pretty unnecessary to me for the most part, although i understand that these feelings are natural and not in any way worthy of condemning in its entirety. confidence requires some amount of superiority but that is not all you need to be confident. superiority is a feeling that seems to make itself relevant only within the context of actively comparing or competing with others, and for that reason i do not see how having a result higher than what i do would make ultimately me the person i want to be.
exhibitionism: extravagant behaviour that is intended to attract attention to oneself my score could be higher. i think exhibtionism requires a sense of self-assurance and trust in yourself, along with a deep sense of not allowing embarrassment to engulf your life. plain and simple, i definitely need to do more things that i consider extravagant or embarrassing in front of other people. i also think that in performing these acts in front of other people, you're only bound to find people who are more relatable to you, uniquely relatable. exhibitionism is almost the act of putting a message out for people, not one specific person, who think and feel similarly about life and art and tastes and allowing them to take their own time to draw themselves towards you, i imagine that the exhibitionist knows that there is no guarantee nor obligation of anyone actually paying attention to you and yet the exhibitionist continues to do what they do. that is a commendable act to me.
exploitativeness: making use of a situation or treating others unfairly in order to gain an advantage or benefit zero on that, i think that makes sense, somewhat. by virtue of growing older and gaining more experience i imagine that this score might marginally increase just because people are willing and even expect to be exploited by older, experienced people. i do think that some ruthless, evil part of me also wants to know what it feels like to take advantage of someone so brazenly. don't think that's going to happen any time soon and i'm more than okay with that. i also think it's really easy for me to have a zero score, given that i do live with immense privilege and a decent amount of comfort as an upper caste person in india who has someone making all three of my meals and cleaning my room every single day; all of these people being paid their salaries by my parents who i live with. i do think this is a form of exploitativeness that the test does not really know how to account for, i may not be someone who likes taking advantage of other people and even tries my best to be anti-exploitative, but in a lot of societies, your very existence guarantees that someone will be exploited whether you like it or not. let it be known that the thought of me living at the cost of someone else is not one that is well-received by me.
vanity: excessive pride in or admiration of one's own appearance or achievements. finally, a considerably high score. this is not a surprise, i do spend a lot of time obsessing on what i look like, every aspect of my face; how the lines in my face deepen when i emote, how my teeth look when i smile, how my nostrils look in profile; my keen awareness of everything that is wrong with my face and body and how to work with the wrongs to make it look right on camera. makeup has consumed such a massive chunk of my life, i really don't remember a life where i didn't care about it as much as now. i can't even say i don't care about it now but it has decreased significantly. here's the thing, i'm not really concerned with decreasing this score as much as i am with increasing the scores of the other facets in this test. i don't mind having pride, even excessively so (to a certain extent, which might come across as a little but of an oxymoron) of how i look. but it really doesn't mean anything, and quite frankly is pretty destructive of my self esteem when i don't have a little more authority or exhibitionism or self-sufficiency. i don't think a strong sense of vanity can be harmful but it needs to be backed up with something a little more substantial.
entitlement: the belief that one is inherently deserving of privileges or special treatment. again on the lower end. also a score i need to work on. i truly don't think i am entitled to material things however i think my score, albeit very low, comes from my entitlement to respect. i think and know i am worthy of being treated like a human and will stick up for myself when i feel like i'm being disrespected. being entitled to kindness as opposed to things and money is certainly a characteristic i have seen played out. again, it must be noted that i have lived a comfortable life and have had pretty much everything i have wanted come to me, gifted to me even. like the exploitativeness score, i'm not really sure how this score would change if i didn't come from a pretty long line of privilege, or how it would change if i had even more material privileges than i do now. regardless, i think a smoother transition into normal, independent adult living would require a higher sense of entitlement and i do see that score increasing over time.
i'm glad i took the time to really break these results down for myself, i wonder how i'll think about this when i read this at a later stage of my life. for now, i understand my results and they make complete sense to me as of now but it's also interesting how your scores in a personality test are never stagnant if you don't want them to be. this is the only reason i'd be inclined to take any personality test- not to expect results that would give me a fleshed out opinion of who i am and will always be, but to give me a deeper insight into what i am like in this given moment. the bar graph was a little too accurate and really gave me the space to know exactly what kind of internal work needs to be done.
1 note · View note