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five-bi-five-mind · 9 months

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Can i request toxic ex!wanda trying to get reader back no matter what it takes after doing her wrong and not knowing her worth? And reader just being extremely mad and done with wanda. I'd love to be manipulated by her 🥰🤝

Me & the Devil

Fandom: Marvel

Pairings: Wanda Maximoff x fem!reader

Genre: Dark fic (seriously dark!!) + Smut & Angst

Words: 11.5k+

Summary: It took everything ounce of strength you had to leave Wanda behind. When you did you tried your best to rebuild a life for yourself without her. You had a new career in a city far away and you were trying to restart your love life too. Only it was going horribly for you so far. Until Kate Bishop happened. Was she going to be the person to finally get you over Wanda? You thought so, until Wanda showed up at your door. And when she did, nothing prepared you for the measures she took to get you to let your guard down...

Warnings: toxic!Wanda; strap-on use (r receiving); face-fucking/riding (Wanda receiving); unhealthy relationships; oral (Wanda receiving); fingering (r receiving); choking; dub-con; kidnapping; non-con voyeurism kinda; alcohol mention; stalking; top!Wanda; bottom!r; dom/sub dynamics; tiniest bit of mommy kink...

A/N: lol this is the darkest thing I have ever written... you said toxic ex!Wanda and I really gave you toxic. Maybe it's not quite the request you asked for but... oops. But seriously folks take the warnings serious!! And tell me if I need to add more.

It happens almost every single time. You were starting to think there might be something seriously wrong with you to be ghosted so often. This was a pattern at this point: You’d connect with someone and meet up for a date. The date, in your mind, would go amazingly. Both of you would laugh and chat and they’d usually be the one to say something like “let’s do this again” and you’d happily agree. But then after you both part ways and a few days pass there’s no text, no call, no signs of following up on that hopeful promise to meet again. You’d text them once, maybe twice if you really felt strongly about meeting, but still you’d be met with nothing. You got ghosted. In the past six months, this has happened way more times than you’d like to admit. The first two times, you could convince yourself that they just weren’t that into you. It wasn’t you, it was probably them. But then it kept happening and happening and happening. How long could you say it wasn’t you? What were you doing to repel so many people?

After the last date you went on and then were subsequently ghosted, you were really considering giving up hope. But then somehow you got convinced to try again. This time it was a little different though. It wasn’t someone you met on a random dating app or a girl who happened to randomly pass her number to you at a coffee shop or a bar. No, this time it was someone you actually kind of already knew. It was someone you worked with, someone you already had a sort of established friendship with.

Usually, you’d be hesitant to agree to dating someone who had a professional relationship with you. Not to mention, she was kind of above you in the chain of command at your work. But when Kate Bishop waltzed right up to you and asked you out she was so charming and kind. She reassured you she would understand if you said no and that nothing would be weird if it didn’t work out. She smiled at you in the most endearing way and never failed to make you laugh even from your very first day working with her. Why wouldn’t you say yes? Honestly, you were just shocked she saw you as anything more than a work friend. So yeah, you decided to agree to a date. After all, it would be incredibly hard to ghost someone you have to see regularly at work. If things didn’t work out, she promised you’d still be friends and it wouldn’t affect the workplace. And while, yeah, a lot of people probably say that, you really believed that she meant it.

Prepping for the date had you honestly giddy this time. You asked some friends to accompany you to the mall so you could buy a nice outfit. When you asked what the date would be, Kate gave you the name of an entirely too expensive restaurant. She promised it would all be on her dime, no matter how much you protested. Her exact words were that she wanted to “sweep you off your feet” and you couldn’t help the blush that reached your cheeks when she said that. So, if you weren’t paying then the least you could do was invest in something nice to match the place she was taking you to.

Honestly, you were actually really excited about all of this. You had never thought of Kate as more than just a coworker, but you were really ready to see where this night could go. It felt like a turning point for you after all you had been through. Six months of getting ghosted was one thing, but all of that really added salt to the wound that was your horrible breakup that happened prior to all of those failed dates. This would be different though, at least you hoped. While you didn’t get to know all the other people who ghosted you well enough to know their character, you did know Kate. She was almost the exact opposite of your ex. She was kind and patient. She wasn’t so damn serious all the time either. Wanda was… well, you didn’t even know where to start. She was cold, she was controlling, and more than anything she had a darkness in her that put you on edge. She didn’t seem to listen to you and only wanted to pay attention to what you had to say when you said that you were leaving her. It was like all you were was a toy to her and it made you miserable. The fights you two had towards the end still shook you. When you and Wanda got together it all happened so fast. One day she saw you and then suddenly she was everywhere. In a blink you found yourself in a relationship with her and you didn’t even know how it all happened.

Not that you didn’t want to be with her. You had loved Wanda. You had loved her so profoundly, so deeply, so painfully that it was all you knew when you were with her. But then she grew different. More controlling, less caring. After a while you realized it wasn’t the healthiest situation to be in and you begged her for a change. Maybe you would’ve stayed and even dealt with her temperamental nature if she at least opened up to you, but it just didn’t feel like an equal relationship. She expected too much from you with nothing in return. It didn’t feel like love anymore, it felt like ownership. That change you pleaded for never came, so finally you pried yourself away from her.

The thing is, you knew once you left Wanda, you really had to leave. It wasn’t just that you packed your stuff and found an apartment. It was that you picked up your whole life and moved it to another town across the country. You found yourself an apartment and a job before you even left to make sure you had stability and wouldn’t chicken out. That was ten months ago. It took you four to feel like even trying to get back out there. Even though it went rather horribly up until now, with Kate, you thought maybe you could be ready for something real again.

Except, when the night you’d found yourself eagerly waiting for came and went with no sign of Kate, all those thoughts of restarting your romantic life plummeted. You had gotten to the restaurant, donning the beautiful dress you had bought for this very night. Bragging wasn’t really your thing, but as you got ready and gave yourself a once over in your apartment, you thought to yourself that you had this in the bag. If she was going to sweep you off your feet with a nice night out, you were gonna make her jaw drop with the way you’d make your entrance.

Admittedly, you were early to the restaurant than Kate requested you meet her at. She had a reservation for the both of you so when you walked in you immediately asked to be seated. You couldn’t help the way you fiddled with the silverware in front of you as you anxiously waited for her to slide into the chair across from you. Only when the agreed upon time came and went, you felt that pit in your stomach that said your hopes were about to be shattered. At first you told yourself it was Kate, she was often a little bit late to just about anything. But then ten minutes passed and then twenty and suddenly you were feeling embarrassed and sick to your stomach and furious all at the same time. You paid for the glass of wine you had ordered and nervously sipped on before walking out of that gorgeous restaurant that promised a fabulous meal with nothing but an empty stomach.

You weren’t sure if it was the wine that you had mixed with a lack of food or the fact that your eyes were already tearing up in anger just the tiniest bit when you told the waiter you wouldn’t be eating, but you weren’t pleased. As you stormed your way out of that restaurant and waited for an uber to take you home, you didn’t hesitate to shoot Kate what was probably the tenth text in a row. Each one was a little more angry than the last. Of course, it didn’t start out angry. Your first few were concerned but a little joke-y, but then when it became apparent she wasn’t anywhere to be seen, well, then you didn’t hold back too much.

What was work going to be like when you finally saw her on Monday? You had this naive little idea in your head that you and Kate would hit it off so well that she’d want to spend the whole weekend with you. Maybe it was wishful thinking, but you really thought you could predict that you and Kate would fall into this crazy, cliche romantic relationship after what was supposed to be a dazzling first date. Honestly, you had kind of expected to not be going home alone, or maybe not going home at all. Kate even joked as much when talking about what to expect for this date. You had rolled your eyes at her bluntness, but if you were being honest with yourself it had given you a little thrill.

All of that is gone now. The uber picked you up and dropped you off and all the while you somehow managed to keep it together. The tears that threatened to slip through back at the restaurant had been restrained as you sat alone in the back of the car and blankly stared at the thread of messages you had sent to Kate. They all sent, but the last message to be read by her was the one you sent saying you were on your way. Fucking typical, she chickened out at the last second and couldn’t even tell you to turn around.

The more you thought about it as you climbed the stairs of your apartment complex, the angrier you got until you could tell the emotions you were holding back were starting to overflow. Damn, you had been actually excited for this night. Yeah, when you matched with people and agreed to a coffee date with the others you had a little excitement for them too, but not like this. Not like Kate. She felt like this beacon in the darkness that was the last ten months. She felt like she was the one to pick up the pieces from what your last relationship did to you. How could you have been so wrong?

Now, instead of having a crazy romantic night like you had hoped, you were going to change out of your gorgeous outfit and fall apart alone in your bed in your coziest pair of pajamas. It was a pathetic way to spend the evening, you thought to yourself as you got closer to your unit. How could it possibly get any worse?

“(Y/N),” A familiar voice said from right behind you as you approached your door. You hadn’t realized anyone was even behind you as you made your way to your apartment, so the presence of anyone was going to make you jump out of your skin. But when you heard your name being called your blood ran cold and alarm bells went off. Surely it couldn’t be who you think it is…

You whipped around so fast it made you lose your balance on your heels. A hand shot out quickly though, wrapping slender fingers around your elbow and steadying you. “Hey,” the voice said and you swallowed hard.

Now that you were face to face, the source of the voice was exactly who you thought it was. Wanda stood there entirely too close to you, with her hand still wrapped around your arm. All you did was gawk at her, in utter disbelief of the turn the night just took. If there was anyone you were expecting to show up, it was certainly not her. You had hoped, as you made your way back home in disappointment, that Kate would be waiting right outside for you. Of course, knowing your luck these past few months, it was the last person you’d ever want to see showing up after such an awful night.

The circumstances alone made you want to double over in fits of laughter. It was all so just on point with how your life has gone since you left her. Of course Wanda would show up after yet another failed attempt to move on from her. It only feels even more like a cruel joke from the universe that she shows up before you can get home and wipe your face of the frustration tears that you shed as you stomped up the stairs to your apartment.

It took you a moment to realize that Wanda still had her hand on you and you ripped yourself away from her as if her touch suddenly burned. She didn’t seem phased by your actions, but instead was wearing a surprisingly soft expression. It seemed to add to your embarrassment and frustration.

There was a moment where you thought maybe you should say something. Right now, the only one to speak was Wanda and all she had to offer after showing up out of nowhere was a measly “hey” so there was a lot that needed to be said right now. For starters, maybe you should ask how the fuck she found you. It wasn’t like when you two broke up you readily gave her your address. In fact, you didn’t tell her much of anything when you left. You knew she had a business trip scheduled for the same time every quarter. So, you took her absence as a means to pack your stuff in a flash and leave. It was that trip that allowed you to prepare, you had given yourself a deadline to find a job and an apartment and leave and that’s exactly what you did. The only thing Wanda knew when she left for that trip was that you were incredibly unhappy with her, to which she just rolled her eyes as she walked out the door. That was the last time you saw her.

As you settled into your new place the same day Wanda was returning for her trip, you had left her a note and that was it. When that first night alone without Wanda came, you knew she saw the letter. There was one call from her that lit up your phone that night. You ignored it and that was that. She didn’t leave a message and to your surprise, she didn’t try again.

You thought the book was closed on that relationship after that. Apparently, tonight as she stood right in front of you for the first time in almost a year, you were very wrong about that fact.

“What do you want, Wanda?” You cleared your throat as you spoke. It was rough, you were trying to sound strong and demanding. But after fighting back the urge to sob the whole car ride home, your voice wasn’t coming out the way you wanted.

“It’s been awhile,” She gave you a small smile, but you didn’t miss the way she absolutely dodged that question.

“Why are you here?” You pressed again. Although, you honestly weren’t sure if you wanted to hear the answer. There were two reasons for that. The first being, you were in a vulnerable state and just wanted to crawl into your bed and lick your wounds. The second being, again, you were in a vulnerable state and if she said the right things she could take advantage of that. She always knew to say the right things. Being near her right now was dangerous. Not only because you were so unprepared to see her again, but because you were feeling so utterly hopeless and your pride was, at this point, completely shattered.

“I wanted to see you.” Wanda still had that hesitant smile on her face. She looked down at you as if she was actually nervous. Like she was trying to approach you with the utmost caution in fear that you would flee at any second. She wasn’t entirely wrong to think that either, because you were ready to run. Except, she was standing right at your doorstep, so where exactly would you run? You could close the door in her face and lock her out, but you knew Wanda. She was nothing if not persistent.

There was no response to that statement that would make you feel any stronger or even saner. You wanted to keep your dignity, even if you already looked pretty distraught. So instead you just exhaled, long and slow, before turning to your door.

What was your game plan right now? You couldn’t really tell. It was going to be a horrible decision if you let Wanda take one step inside your apartment, but you had a feeling that was her ultimate goal. Right now, you were running through different things to say. All you could really land on was pleading with her to meet you another day, when you’re less upset and tired. Maybe if you promised her you’d meet with her she would agree. Of course, knowing Wanda, if you said you’d grab coffee and catch up (which is a much friendlier way of putting what would inevitably be a very awkward conversation) she would hold you to that. But anything would be better than letting her slink right on in through your front door.

“Let me help you with that.” Wanda was directly behind you now, her hand reaching out to touch yours. You didn’t realize your hands were shaking so hard until you were trying and failing to get your house key into the lock. The way her hand wrapped around yours as she steadied it and guided the key in, surprisingly helped ground you. It was the familiar touch, even if it was brief and innocent, of her hand on yours that suddenly felt like you were able to catch your breath.

It was like a shock to your system and now all your nerve endings were finally waking up from a long sleep. It was a weird rush, no matter how brief, to feel with the warmth of her palm pressed to the top of your hand. Accompanied with that was the buzz that you always felt when she was in your personal space as she leaned closer to you from behind. And just like that, once the door was open, her hand slipped from yours and it was all gone.

You squeezed your eyes shut for a minute and took a deep breath. The rush of feelings with just that small of a touch from Wanda was not a good sign for you and definitely not a good sign for your will power either.

Wanda waited patiently behind you as you began to take the first step into your own apartment. To your surprise, when you turned back around to face her, she hadn’t crossed the threshold. Knowing Wanda, you had expected her to push her way in, to already have one foot in the door as she convinced you to let her stay. But no. Not this time. Instead, Wanda stood there patiently, her eyes boring into yours as she studied your face.

She still had the posture and facial expression of someone who was trying to be incredibly delicate. It was as if she was totally aware that she was walking on eggshells and, for the first time since you’ve known Wanda, she actually cared not to misstep. You were surprised to see her at your doorstep tonight of all nights, but even more so you were in complete disbelief at how patient she was being. If you were to have bet your money on anything, it would have been that the next time you saw Wanda she’d tear you a new one. Maybe she’s changed. Maybe this is why she didn’t contact you after that first night when you left. Was there hope that she could’ve taken a step back and looked at the way she treated you? Why did your brain automatically go to this idea that she actually took the last ten months to work on herself and now she was back to apologize and show you she’d grown?

Your last thought shot anxiety straight through your veins. That was a slippery slope your thoughts were going down. A slope that might lead into you crashing painfully into the emotionally unavailable wall that was Wanda Maximoff. Except, she was still waiting there, with bright shining eyes that told you she was just relieved to finally see you again. And you, well, you were just standing there in the gorgeous dress you spent way too much money on for a girl you’d known for ten months who didn’t even have the decency to text a rejection to you after promising you the night of your dreams. So why not let the woman who did actually show up and was trying to be kind to you in for the evening? And what’s one more glass of wine? At least this time you’d have company so you wouldn’t just be drowning in your pain and humiliation.

“Do you…” You paused for a moment watching Wanda’s face for any signs of insincerity or some kind of nefarious plan. She looked back at you with nothing but a soft smile and hope in her eyes. “Do you maybe want to come in for a bit? We can- I dunno… talk?”

“I’d love that.” And just like that you watched as she entered your apartment. When you got this place you had made one promise to yourself and that was to never let Wanda in if she ever found you. You had thought that the minute you’d let her back in she’d consume your life all over again. But here she was, at your doorstep, acting like a completely different person and suddenly that promise to yourself went out the window. You were so taken aback by her patience and gentleness with you in the brief time you’ve been reunited that you didn’t think to ask one important question. How the fuck did she find out you lived here?

—-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“So, she just never showed?!” Wanda leaned back in shock as you nodded vehemently. You two were currently sitting on either side of your couch, with half a bottle of wine already gone through. It had started out as small talk once she entered your apartment. Yes, it was awkward at first, but at least the wine had loosened up some of your nerves. Wanda seemed more relaxed than you had ever seen her. You never thought you’d be describing her this way, but she almost seemed bubbly. It was like a whole new Wanda was sitting right next to you and you were loving everything you were seeing.

The conversation stayed on you the whole time, which also was a bit surprising. Wanda wanted to know how you were doing and even praised you for how independent you had become. It was shocking, but with every proud smile she gave you, you felt your heart swell with pride for yourself as well.

Somehow, eventually, Wanda asked you why you were so dressed up. That’s when you were surprised by the wave of guilt that hit you in the gut. You shouldn’t feel guilty. It’s been almost a year, so there was nothing to feel remotely bad about. Except, when she asked you that question, you looked down at your lap and fiddled with an invisible string while you mulled over possible ways to respond in a way that made you feel less ashamed.

To your utter surprise, Wanda didn’t even flinch when you decided to tell the truth and confess that you had a date with your coworker who didn’t show. Instead, the part that made her so emotional was the fact that Kate stood you up in the first place, not that you would have a potential new romantic partner that wasn’t Wanda. Where was all the possessiveness she usually showed? You haven’t had the chance to ask Wanda what she had done in these past ten months apart, but you had a feeling you were in for a long, inspiring story about how she’s ready to be a better woman. Even if you didn’t know the full story, you could see in the way she was upset for your pain and only your pain that she had really grown. It was this change that had you so mesmerized by her. It was this display of compassion for your bad night that had you scooting closer to her until your knees were touching. And when Wanda’s hand, after waving in shock as you admitted that you still haven’t gotten a single text from Kate, had innocently landed on your bare knee just below where your dress ended, you didn’t move it.

“Well, she’s made a huge mistake,” Wanda shook her head. “I mean look at you…” The hand that wasn’t on your knee motioned to your whole body.

“I know! I paid a lot for this dress, you know.” You giggled, shocked that the sting of tonight’s rejection wasn’t quite as strong as it was a few hours ago.

“And it was worth every penny.” Wanda’s eyes darkened slightly as they raked up your body. “You look… fucking incredible.” Her voice was slightly lower as she said those last two words and suddenly you felt something shift. It was like something heavy filled the air, an electricity that was almost too much to bear.

Wanda looked back up and locked eyes with you. That gentleness that you had seen all evening was replaced with something else and suddenly you realized you were currently standing on a metaphorical cliff, one more step and you were about to fall right back into Wanda.

But then she leaned forward and you found yourself leaning too. She was right there next to you, with barely any space separating you two. The smell of her familiar perfume suddenly felt stronger and had your head swimming. The warmth that radiated from her presence was blanketing your entire body, and all you wanted to do was close the gap. Why not jump off that cliff? Obviously, nothing else you’ve been doing has worked so far. This was a sign, the girl you were excited for didn’t even have the respect for you to show up, but who did show up? Wanda. And the whole time she’s been sitting and listening and not pushing anything. She’s changed, that’s what you wanted. You had told her as much when you had all those arguments up until the end. Sometimes it takes a major leap for someone to right their wrongs finally and that seems like what was going on here. That’s what you hoped was happening. So why not indulge? You closed the gap.

The way Wanda let you come to her was surprising. Old Wanda was usually too guarded to let you take the lead, but she was letting you now. Your lips met hers in a hesitant kiss at first, but soon it grew into more. It was familiar and new all at the same time. You surged forward and tangled your hands in her hair and all the while Wanda let you. When you leaned back, pulling her with you, your lips still connected, she happily followed until she was hovering over you. Not once did either of you break the kiss. It was soft, but still had a hint of desperation on your part. Wanda let you take the lead, with your tongue tentatively running against hers when her lips parted for you.

While Wanda’s willingness to let you take the lead shocked you, she still showed that she was enjoying the kiss just as much as you were. When your head met the arm of the couch and Wanda’s body came with you as you leaned back, you felt the way she rolled her body into yours. It was a subtle movement, but you could tell it was her way to get as much contact between the two of you as possible. Meanwhile, the more Wanda pressed her body down against yours, the more your dress rode up. You were so lost in the way Wanda’s lips felt on yours that you jumped when you felt her knee press between your legs. That act felt like someone pouring ice cold water straight on your body.

“Wait!” Your voice was muffled by the way Wanda was still trying to kiss you, but when you pulled back she stopped. Your hands moved down to push at your dress, trying to cover more of you as Wanda shifted her weight so she could still hover over you but get some distance from your face.

For a moment, as you looked up at her, both of you breathing hard from the intensitive of it all, you thought you saw a flash of anger appear in her face. It was brief. A blink and you’ll miss it kind of moment, but you swore you saw it. It was like a crack in the perfect Wanda that sat with you all night. You had stopped the kiss because you thought it was going too far for one night, but when you did you were hesitant if it was the right call. Now, even though admittedly you could be wrong, you were glad you stopped.

If there was one thing you recognized on Wanda, it was the look she’d get when things didn’t go exactly the way she wanted them to. When you pulled back, it was such a brief moment, but you could’ve sworn you saw that familiar look. But then she was looking back down at you again with that gentleness you had seen all night, except this time things felt different. It was like all the warning bells were going off in your brain now. Something inside your mind told you that you had fallen into a trap and now you were too far into it to get yourself out.

But then another part of your brain wanted so desperately to shake that off. She had been so gentle with you, so kind and caring. It was a whole new side of Wanda and it was one that you had dreamt of for so long, especially in the early months after your break up. It wasn’t even like she was the one who started the kiss. You kissed her. Not only that, but you were the one to pull her on top of you. It wasn’t like it wasn’t enjoyable. It was everything you missed. It was fucking fantastic. Still, something told you to watch your back.

You were trying so hard to shake that paranoia off. It was probably just a new form of trust issues you’ve developed after being rejected constantly for the last six months. Yeah, that’s what it had to be. Right?

A moment passed and neither of you had moved after you had tried to push Wanda back. She remained hovering over you and suddenly you felt so small lying there beneath her. Finally, you pressed a hand to her chest, trying to indicate to her to move off you. She didn’t budge.

Instead, she stayed there, staring down at you. The look of anger never came back, but that gentleness wasn’t there either. It was all replaced with an emotion you couldn’t quite place as she cocked her head and flicked her eyes to where your hand pressed against her before looking back at your face.

It seemed like she was calculating something. Like Wanda was trying her hardest to plan her next move with you and was weighing her options. It was in that very moment that you realized the gentleness, the patience, the lack of anger when you told her you had tried to start dating again, all of that was an act. She really was a wolf in sheep’s clothing and she had you pinned right now.

A shiver ran down your spine as that realization sunk and it did not go unnoticed by Wanda. It was like a spark that lit a fire in her, when she saw you react like that. You were helpless underneath her and that was all it took for her innocent facade to melt completely away. She leaned back down, attacking your lips with her own in an instant.

Your hands braced against her chest as she leaned back down, putting more of her weight onto you as she kissed you. Every alarm was going off in your mind as she kissed you with an intensity that had you spinning. Your mind told you to push back, to make her stop, but then it was always this shift in Wanda that got to you. She was kissing you with that same passion that had you weak at the knees. You always hated how possessive she was with you in public, but in private it always had you reacting in a way that you really should’ve felt more shame for. And she was kissing you with that same, desperate, possessive energy you wished you didn’t miss.

The hands that were bracing Wanda’s chest were now grabbing at the fabric of her shirt as her tongue licked into your mouth. Her knee went right back to where it was, pressing in between your legs. You groaned against her mouth when she pressed it a little harder and you could practically feel how smug she was when she felt your hips roll onto her leg to gain more contact.

Wanda pulled back on her own this time. You were breathing hard and you could tell your face was flushed from how worked up you were just from a little bit of contact and her kiss. “This is going better than I thought it would,” Wanda let out a low chuckle as she knelt above you. You gave her a skeptical look as you tried to catch your breath. “I thought you’d put up more of a fight, but I guess I didn’t need to try too hard to remind you.”

“Wh- What are you talking about? Remind me?” You stammered, your head swimming.

“That you’re still mine,” she hissed.

Suddenly, a wave of nausea hit you. None of tonight with her had been real. She hadn’t changed, you had just felt sorry for yourself and were vulnerable so you let yourself dream and pretend. Now, you were facing the consequences of your actions. You had fallen back into Wanda and backpedaled on every little bit of healing you had done after leaving her. The worst part was, as she looked down on you with such self-satisfied triumph, you weren’t sure if you could claw your way back out again.

You sat up then, trying to squirm your way out from under Wanda. She didn’t move, but she did let you. When you tried to stand from the couch, it felt like your legs were going to give out from under you. She had you so disoriented from her whole act that you could barely stand on your own two feet.

“I think…” You kept your eyes glued to the floor as you spoke. “Wanda, I think you should leave.”

“Oh?” Wanda cocked her head to the side as she stood up too. You had taken a few steps away from the couch, but Wanda was quick to rid you both of the distance you had so desperately tried to create. “I don’t think that’s what you really want.”

“Yes, it is.” You weren’t convincing. Anyone would be able to tell you were two seconds away from buckling again and begging for forgiveness. This whole scenario felt disturbingly familiar.

“I don’t think so,” Wanda taunted. She took another step towards you and you stood there frozen. “I think you’re dying to beg me to stay.” The once exciting charge in the air changed even more until all you felt was the painful buzzing in your ears as your body shook with an excitement you were trying so desperately not to acknowledge. It was impossible to ignore though, especially when Wanda was stepping up into your space again, brushing her whole body against you as she slipped behind you.

“No…” you whimpered your response to Wanda, but even you knew you sounded pathetic.

“Shhh,” Wanda cooed. Her hands moved to brush hair from your neck before you felt the tips of her fingers dance on the exposed skin. You still stood there, locked in place, trying to hold back a shiver as Wanda’s lips pressed to your neck from behind. Your eyes screwed shut when you felt her brush them up to your ear. Her breath against the shell of your ear made you shiver and your hands balled into fists. “Do you really want to be alone tonight?”

She was turning your vulnerability against you. Of course you didn’t want to be alone tonight. But did you really want to spend the night with your apparently still toxic ex-girlfriend? As much as you wanted to say fuck no, you did. God you wanted her. Maybe you had never really even stopped wanting her.

You didn’t have to answer for Wanda to know exactly what you were thinking. She had her hooks into you and you were hers again. Or maybe you were always hers and even when you were free from her you never really were. With how easily you fell back into her after almost a year, you were starting to think you were really overestimating how much progress you made.

Wanda’s lips brushed your ear before you felt her hands on you now. They were making their way up your body, starting at your waist and moving to your chest in a way that almost made you feel manhandled. “You’re going to have to convince me,” Wanda’s voice was sickeningly sweet in comparison to the way she groped and squeezed at your breasts through your dress.

“Get on your fucking knees,” Wanda growled, the false sweetness leaving her voice and being replaced with a demand that had you jump. To your surprise it was like your body was compelled to do exactly as she said. You dropped to your knees and she stopped in front of you. The grin that spread across her face was menacing enough to make you gulp. She had a glint in her eye that told you any sort of soft, caring charade she had when she appeared at your door was long gone. No, that was all an act to get you to invite her in and invite her in you did. Now you were at her mercy and the thrill of that was clearly getting to the both of you.

As ashamed as you should be to have fallen back into Wanda Maximoff like you said you never would, you couldn’t help but feel anything but nervous anticipation. She licked her lips as she looked down at you. You squirmed under her gaze as you knelt there. Wanda took another step up until she was towering directly above you. Her hand shot out and immediately tangled in your hair, yanking your neck not-so-gently to look directly up at her. She smiled at you, all her teeth showing as she smirked. “Good girl.” She purred.

Wanda’s hand moved from your hair to stroke down your cheek until she reached your lips. You stared up at her, utterly frozen, as she traced your lips with her fingers before uttering one word. “Open,” she demanded and you did exactly that without hesitation. Two fingers slid into your mouth, the whole time she never broke eye contact. Your body was trembling slightly from where you knelt in front of her and as her fingers pressed down on your tongue you instinctively began to suck.

A sadistic chuckle left Wanda’s lips as she looked down at you. “Looks like you haven’t forgotten your place.” Her voice was low, threatening almost. Your face flushed, but it was like your brain wasn't in control of your body anymore. Suddenly, you were on some kind of autopilot, fulfilling the role Wanda always wanted you to take. The worst part was, you were okay with it. You didn’t realize you even missed it, but then again you caved so easily to her. Of course you missed it. No, actually you craved it. Your whole being ached for it.

Wanda’s fingers pushed into your mouth a little deeper and you continued to let her. Not once did you break eye contact, even as Wanda’s twisted smile grew. Finally, after a moment, Wanda pulled her fingers from your mouth, only to grab your chin and keep your head tilted upward in a painful position. “It’s too fucking easy,” Wanda sneered. She let go of your chin then and you took a moment to look down and give your neck a break.

You didn’t notice then that Wanda was backing up from you for just a second. When you ran your eyes up Wanda’s legs to meet where her hands were you realized she was tugging at the buckle to her jeans. You watched with wide eyes as she undressed in front of you before stepping right back up to you. All the while, your mind was screaming at you to put a stop to this. All you had to do was kick her out, right? So why did you just stay on your knees and stare?

“Wanda, maybe we should-” You were cut off by the hand that shot out and tangled in your hair again, giving it a hard tug.

“Shhh, baby,” Wanda cooed. “Let me use your mouth for something else.”

You flushed and those alarm bells in your mind sounded louder, but still you reluctantly nodded. There was something deeper inside you that said you needed this. You needed to please Wanda. It felt so horribly wrong to give into this feeling that you thought you had buried deeper inside yourself. But then Wanda was tugging you closer until suddenly you were between her legs, being practically smothered by her already wet pussy and all of those alarm bells silenced all at once. That feeling you thought you had buried got stronger with the way Wanda was rolling her hips against your face and your hands went out to brace yourself on her thighs. As she began to ride your face the moans she was letting out were just spurring that feeling on until nothing felt wrong anymore and everything about tonight felt just so fucking right.

You were surrounded by Wanda. Her hands held your head still as she fucked herself on your mouth and all you could do was take in every moment of Wanda as she used you. And it was fucking glorious. You didn’t think you could miss something so much and be totally unaware of it. Or, it wasn’t that you were unaware… It was that you got so good at ignoring it that when you finally acknowledged your need to indulge in your Wanda problem it woke back up with a roar.

Wanda’s hands were tugging hard at your hair as she kept riding your face. She was moaning your name as she moved and you did your best to encourage more of the sounds she was making above you. Your tongue lapped hungrily at her clit as best as you could with each time she would grind down onto you. You didn’t even care that you were being slightly suffocated by her. Wanda was overloading all your senses right now and all you could do was greedily accept it. It was like a fucked up rush of twisted joy was coursing through your veins as she practically fucked your face. She was using you like an object, no ounce of gentleness left in her as she got herself off, and meanwhile you were just happy to be useful.

The part of your brain that should feel shame for all of this was finally, utterly switched off as Wanda repeated how good you were being for her and how much she missed your mouth when she came all over your lips. Her hips stopped after a moment and she released your hair. You took in large gulps of air you didn’t realize you needed until you felt the burning in your lungs. Wanda also seemed a little frazzled, like the intensity of her own orgasm had taken even her by surprise. But after a moment of catching her own breath, she slipped back into the collected, controlled Wanda you knew.

“Get up,” Wanda ordered and you did what she said. Your legs felt a bit weak as you struggled to stand, but Wanda was on you in a second, steadying you by the elbow so that you didn’t topple over on yourself. It was the smallest action that didn’t even really mean kindness, but you were so far gone into Wanda again that even that made your heart swell.

“Take your clothes off and meet me in your bedroom.” Wanda’s hands were back on you, already tugging at your dress and pulling it off for herself without waiting for you to fulfill her request. You did the rest before looking back up at Wanda. She looked at you with an excitement that had you curious. Seeing the curiosity in your eyes she answered before you could even ask. “I have a surprise for you.”

Your eyes scanned the room you two were in. How did she have a surprise when she came here empty handed?

Wanda’s grin grew wider until you started to feel the drunkenness that came with being with her start to get replaced with something else. “It’s waiting for you in your bedroom,” She winked.

“Waiting in my…” You were trying to connect some dots.

“Bedroom,” Wanda finished. “Now, come on.” You felt like your whole body had stalled as you tried to think through things. How was there a surprise there left by Wanda? She hadn’t left your sight since she showed up at your door.

Wanda tugged on your hand and you realized she was pulling you in the exact direction toward your bedroom. Your apartment had multiple rooms: one your office, one your bathroom, and one your bedroom. So how could she possibly know to go to the right one? Your stomach dropped as she tugged you closer.

You started to drag your feet and Wanda paused for a second, looking back at you with thinly veiled frustration.

“How do you know where my bedroom is?”

“Lucky guess,” She shrugged and you could hear the irritation in her voice.

“Wanda, what’s waiting for me in there?” Your blood ran cold as you asked that question, realizing you were suddenly terrified of the answer.

“A surprise.” Wanda’s voice was devoid of excitement as she said it this time. You realized she was getting angry and this was your warning to stop pressing. But there were two things wrong with this moment right now: What was behind your bedroom door and how had Wanda been in there without you noticing?

“Wanda, have you…” You didn’t want to ask it, but you had to. “Have you been here before?”

Wanda snorted at that and gave a hard tug on your hand, pulling you with surprising force right up into her personal space. Her hands then moved to grab hard at your hips so that she could press her own bare body into yours without you being able to escape. “Stop acting stupid,” Wanda leaned forward to whisper into your ear, her voice eerily sweet. “I’ve been here the whole time.”

“W-What?” It felt like the air was knocked out of you. Wanda’s nails dug into your sides as she held you there.

“Did you think I would just let you leave?” Wanda chuckled. “I’ve been here, waiting the whole time. I know you could feel me… Especially at night.” Wanda’s nails dragged up your bare skin. “When you were alone. I know it was me you were thinking of.”

A flush grew on your cheeks and you wondered, with horror, how much of what Wanda was saying was a guess and how much of it was her watching you when you never even knew.

“Why now then? Why reveal this to me now?” That’s what was really bothering you. Somehow, the rest of this wasn’t surprising. It was on brand with how she was before you left her. Controlling and secretive. She hadn’t changed a bit. Right now, you were shocked and furious, but still you couldn’t silence the fucked up voice deep inside you that said you wer relieved she was back. Wanda was a piece of you that you desperately wished you didn’t need, but as much as you tried to tell yourself you didn’t belong to her, tonight proved that you might always feel that way.

“Because,” Wanda seemed to be blatantly annoyed with you now. “That girl was getting too close this time.”

Kate. You had honestly forgotten all about Kate. Letting Wanda touch and use you had wiped any thoughts of any other woman out of your mind. In fact, until this moment, you forgot that you should feel angry and embarrassed for being rejected and stood up. You had just been so lost in Wanda’s return that everything else melted away. But now… Now you weren’t feeling anger towards Kate. No, with the way Wanda spat out the word “girl” as she spoke, you realized she was probably well aware of who Kate was. You were concerned.

“What?” You ripped yourself from Wanda’s grasp and took a few steps back. “Wanda, what did you do?”

“Only what I had to.” She followed each of your steps with a long stride of her own. “She wanted what’s not hers. I couldn’t have that, now could I?” The way she was looking at you as she cocked her head to the side sent a chill down your spine. Maybe this wasn’t actually the Wanda you knew. Maybe she had changed. When you were together you had seen a lot of sides of her, but not this one. This one made your palms sweat and your stomach turn. You’d never seen Wanda hurt another person, but just because you didn’t see it didn’t mean she wasn’t capable of it. What did she do to Kate?

“Oh, don’t look at me like that,” Wanda scoffed. “She’s not dead.”

Thank fucking god, you thought. Maybe Wanda was just exaggerating. Hopefully, Kate was just fine. Although, your gut was telling you everything wasn’t quite that simple.

“You’ll see,” Wanda reached out her hand and cupped your chin. Your eyes met hers and you saw the sadistic twinkle in her eye as she grinned down at you. “It’s part of your surprise.”

You gulped at that, not liking the sound of it one bit. At this point in the night you made a lot of choices with Wanda already that you promised you wouldn’t do and the way she was acting now was making you sick to your stomach. She needed to leave, tonight needed to be over. Tomorrow you’d go to work and hopefully see Kate there in one piece. And if she was then you’d apologize profusely for whatever Wanda did to scare her off from your date.

“Wanda, you need to leave.” As much as you tried to sound commanding, your voice was weak and shaky. Wanda’s smirk just grew and you realized now she was looking at you like you were her prey and she was about to pounce.

“Now, now,” She tsked as her thumb went up to press against your lips. “It’s really hard to take you seriously when you still have my cum glistening on your lips, pet.”

You tore your head away from her and wiped at your mouth, as if that would make any difference in erasing what had just transpired between you two. You let her claim you, you let her mark you. You almost let her take you to your bedroom and fuck you senseless until the pain and humiliation of tonight were washed away. Of course, now that humiliation was back tenfold and mixed with it was a gut wrenching fear for Wanda you had never felt before.

“If I had let that girl show up for your… date,” Wanda practically spit the word out. “Then, you wouldn’t have gotten a taste of mommy’s cum now would you?”

You were speechless. The way she was talking, the way she was acting. Was this how Wanda was all along? It made you scared, so scared that you quaked where you stood. But also… the way she had been handling you all night, claiming you, mixed with the glint in her eyes as she realized she had you right where she wanted you and the demanding tone she was taking… As sickening as it was, it excited you.

Like a light switch the frustration left Wanda’s face and was again replaced with the excitement she had before. Wanda’s hands were back on you, turning you around and leading you back towards the dreaded surprise that awaited you in your bedroom. Despite what it all meant, you let her guide you without any more protest. “Close your eyes,” Wanda whispered in your ear. “And don’t open them until I tell you to.”

For whatever reason, you did exactly what she said. It was like you were wired to obey her. Like someone else stepped inside your body and now you were doing all the opposite things you should do. Except, you couldn’t blame anyone else but yourself. You knew, this was all you. This was why you ran, because you were Wanda’s little play toy and you wanted to be more than that. At least, you thought you wanted to be more than that.

The creak of the door swinging open brought you out of your thoughts and you knew your way around your apartment well enough to know Wanda was leading you to your bed. With both her hands on your shoulders, she pushed you down until you were forced to sit on the edge of your bed. Still, you kept your eyes closed. No matter how anxious you were, you were going to be good for her. You needed to be good for her.

You could hear Wanda take a few steps back from you, but you still had no idea what this surprise was. Something told you, in your gut, that it wasn’t going to be a good one. Yet, still you were so ready to accept whatever Wanda had to give you that, with a wave of shame, you didn’t think you cared whatever it might be.

“Open them,” Wanda ordered. You opened your eyes slowly, just as you were told. First, you just stared at Wanda. She was beaming as she stood in front of you. Then, you turned your eyes to the side and practically leapt out of your own skin. “Do you like it?”

All you could do was sit and stare. There she was, Kate Bishop, bound and gagged. She was helplessly facing where you sat, restrained on your own office chair. You should’ve felt embarrassed or ashamed that she was seeing you in such a state of undress, but you were still in way too much shock to process much of anything.

Wanda, in the meantime, was circling the bed. You didn’t really pay much attention to her at this point, still just fixated on the way Kate pulled at her bindings, trying to lean towards you. Kate’s eyes, at first, weren’t even looking at you. They were glaring at Wanda, as if she was trying to break free and protect you. But you knew. You weren’t the one in need of protection. Even in Wanda’s grasp, you knew that in her twisted possessive mind, it wasn’t you she felt threatened by. It was Kate. The woman who, as Wanda saw it, tried to take what was hers.

You felt a dip in the mattress as Wanda crawled to you from the other side of the bed. Once she reached you, she stopped, kneeling directly behind you. Wanda’s hands came to circle around your waist and you let her. Your mind hadn’t told you to do anything to stop her, to take any kind of action at all. The logical part of your mind told you to untie Kate, but then a larger part of you, the part that told you that you were way too far gone, demanded you don’t displease Wanda anymore.

Hands moved all over your body, running up and down your sides, groping your breasts, nails leaving marks in their wake. It was causing Kate to practically growl through the cloth muffling her mouth.

“Oh, look at her,” Wanda pretended to pout as she cupped your chin and turned your head to meet Kate’s desperate eyes. “The poor girl is in love with you. She thought tonight would be the start of some big love story. She was stupid enough to brag about it with anyone who would listen. Too bad she doesn’t know you’re really just a pathetic little thing already ruined by me. Isn’t that right?”

Wanda’s hold on your chin grew tighter and you held back a wince. You knew she was waiting for an answer, but as Kate’s panicked gaze searched your face you felt too ashamed to utter a single word.

“I almost feel bad for her,” Wanda continued when you didn’t speak. “I mean, I can relate. Much like her, I wanted you the moment I saw you too. But she and I have one big difference…” Wanda dropped your chin again and her hands made their way down your body. You let out a gasp when you felt a hand move straight down between your legs and cup your pussy.

“I already fucking took what I wanted,” Wanda snarled as you felt two fingers enter you. Your hand flew to Wanda’s wrist at the surprise intrusion, but you couldn’t help that your previous gasp had turned into a pathetic moan. “And I’m never letting you have her.” She punctuated each word with a pump of her fingers and you bit down hard on your lip to stop the sounds that were threatening to fall from you. Kate was thrashing in the chair in front of you and your eyes dropped to the floor. Your fingers flexed around Wanda’s wrist, but you still didn’t pull her away. At this point the only thing on your mind was to make her happy, regardless of the horrifying circumstances. Wanda has scared you tonight, she has made you take a giant backstep to which you won’t ever return from and she’s gone to lengths you’d never expect. Except, you were just too far gone now.

Feeling Wanda inside you again was earth shattering. You’d spent so many nights alone and in those frustrating nights you had told yourself you just wanted somebody, anybody to hold you. That was a fucking lie. You wanted- No, needed Wanda. You were hers and no amount of time or distance changed a damn thing about that. It took one night, less than three hours even for you to fall back into place with her and realize just how deeply you needed to be hers. Wanda’s goal this whole time was to remind you and teach you and Kate a lesson and unfortunately for the both of you, the lesson was learned. You didn’t think you’d ever have the strength, courage, or even sense to leave Wanda ever again after this.

With Wanda’s fingers pumping inside you and her bare body pressed to your back, your head was swimming. Never mind the poor girl who was forced to watch helplessly. Your eyes squeezed shut at the magnitude of shame you had for enjoying this as much as you were while Kate looked at you with what was possibly the most heartbreaking expression you’d ever seen.

Before Wanda could make you cum she withdrew her fingers. You couldn’t help the whimper that left your lips at that, but quickly bit your lip again to keep from making too much noise. With the circumstances, it felt wrong to be enjoying all of this as much as you did. but this was Wanda. The one person who knew your body better than anyone else. Even after almost a year apart, she hadn’t forgotten the way you liked it when she curled her fingers inside you or the way you’d get so wet from her treating you in such a rough manner.

At one point, when you were with her, you wondered what you had become. Never did you think you’d be someone who let another person utterly own your entire being, body and all. When you left you thought you could free yourself of that. But if you learned anything tonight, it was that you still belonged to Wanda. With the measures she had gone to and the way you kept letting her do whatever she wanted to you, that fact was pretty clear.

You twisted your head around to see what Wanda was doing, only to watch her reach under your own pillow. What she revealed was very familiar to you; a dark red strap on that Wanda used to love to use on you. She kept it. Your eyes widened as you realized she wasn’t going to let you off the hook any time soon tonight. Or Kate for that matter.

Your head turned back to Kate who had stopped struggling to stare in shock at Wanda too. For a moment you thought to get up and actually help Kate, if only so she didn’t have to watch what was to come next. Only, it seemed like Wanda knew exactly what you were considering, because she was on you before you could move a muscle.

With a surprised yelp, Wanda had your body turned and your back hitting the bed in mere seconds. She swung her leg over your body at that and you just stared up at her as her predatory smile slowly turned to Kate. “Look at you,” Wanda was directly talking to Kate now. “This is killing you isn’t it?” Wanda’s hands were slipping under your knees now, bending them so that they could hook around your waist. The toy was lined up and your chest was heaving in anticipation. Anxiety was coursing through your veins, but so was this hard to ignore, appalling feeling of anticipation and excitement for what was to come. For what you missed so desperately.

You held your breath as Wanda entered you with the toy that you never quite got used to back when you two were together. Now, since you were out of practice, the familiar burn of it stretching your pussy out reminded you of the very first time she used it on you. You squeezed your eyes shut again and couldn’t stop the pitiful groan that left your lips.

Wanda chuckled from above you before she finally bottomed out inside you. “Was this how you planned to fuck her?” Wanda was still talking to Kate as she began to rock her hips. “Or were you going to be gentle? See the thing with her is… She likes to be ruined.” Your fingers tangled in the sheets as you tried your best to get used to how big her cock was inside you. Your desire for Wanda was completely in control at this point, letting Wanda start a steady pace with no intentions of stopping her. The way you could hear Kate struggling made you feel sick, but the way you never wanted Wanda to stop, despite her presence, made that feeling worse.

Wanda’s pace kept increasing. Her body bent over you until she was pressed against you. The way she pumped into you was making the whole bed rock and the burn of her practically abusing your pussy had finally turned into extreme pleasure in a way that had your body arching into hers. You had totally given into this feeling now, all thoughts of Kate gone and replaced with how much you wanted Wanda to just keep claiming you in the way that she was.

“Tell me,” Wanda growled into your ear this time as her hips slowed for a moment. “Do you really think she could fuck you like this?”

“N-no,” you were trying to catch your breath as you spoke.

Wanda snapped her hips hard and you immediately cried out again. “What was that? I don’t think she heard you.”

“No!” You cried. “Fuck! No, only you can. Only you. Only-”

“Shhh, that’s my girl.” Wanda’s hand stroked down your cheek as she picked up the pace yet again. Her hand moved down your jaw until it stopped right on your throat. Her fingers wrapped around your neck and she squeezed. It wasn’t hard enough to hurt you, but still enough to make you struggle to take the much needed deep breathes as she fucked you as hard as she did.

All sounds of Kate’s struggles were lost on your ears. Your body was trembling and you were two seconds from falling apart all over Wanda’s cock. Wanda was loving every second of it. She was moaning in your ear as she kept fucking you harder, just the sight of you turned her on beyond belief. The way her hand flexed and squeezed slightly more on your neck mixed with the way she was pumping herself into you with such a force had strangled moans coming from you with abandon. It took more strong snaps of her hips before you were falling apart on top of her with a miserable cry.

Wanda’s hips slowed when you came down from your orgasm and her hand left your neck. You took loud, gasping breaths for air. Your body was spent and splayed out on the mattress. Wanda was looking down at you with such a satisfied grin on her face and for a moment all you could think of was wanting Wanda to make you cum again. Except then you remembered.

Your head slowly turned to see Kate still there, bound with tears running down her face. What now? That was the only thing running through your mind.

Wanda’s hand came back to your chin, turning your head so you were facing her again. The shame that was coursing through your veins again felt louder, more painful. Except she was stroking your cheek, looking down at you with more pride in her eyes than you’d ever seen before.

“Shhh,” she soothed. “Don’t worry. I’ll take care of everything. Then you and I are going to go somewhere far away.”

You couldn’t help the shiver of fear that ran through your body as Wanda kept stroking your cheek in a gentle way that you hadn’t seen since she first arrived. Something told you that you didn’t really have a choice, but to go.

A thousand scenarios ran through your mind about what Wanda was going to do with Kate. You felt pity for her and embarrassment at what she had witnessed.

“I’ll go.” You heard yourself before you could even think about what you were saying. “But let Kate go.”

Wanda frowned for a moment, her hand pausing on your cheek. She looked over at Kate and then back down at you, the frown quickly leaving and being replaced with a conniving. “If I promise to let her go, you must promise to never try to leave again.”

You nodded furiously, taking this one chance to get Wanda to do your bidding. Kate would be free, even if it meant that you sealed your fate. Only, little did Wanda know, after tonight you didn’t think you’d ever have the strength to leave her again. She was the one thing you wanted that you wished you didn’t. She was in your veins, she was your entire being. You were hers completely and nothing, no amount of time or space, would ever set you free.

You surrendered to Wanda the moment you saw her again. Even if you tried to leave once, you knew Wanda was going to spend a lot of time reminding you that you would never be able to leave again.

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three-maddys-in-a-trenchcoat · 2 months

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it's funny how i used to think that going from watching the anime adaptation to manga adaptation to original novel was getting a progressively more "pure and authentic and superior" version of the story. but when i was first learning Japanese (c. 2009) almost no novels, light or otherwise, were translated into English. so i was super excited to be finally be able to read text-only works.

many years of study and life in Japan later, i went on a light novel bender and quickly discovered that your average light novel is the longform rambling of a fandom author who is allergic to editing, structure, and literary analysis and had been posting chapters online for many years before a publisher approached them based solely on the popularity online. (they might also be an incel/femcel, but i digress.) this is just speculation, but my impression is that the publisher is unlikely to tell the author to make changes because they just want to make a quick buck on text that already exists.

when it's adapted as a manga, the new medium necessitates that changes are made to facilitate flow, and the mangaka is a professional creative who usually has experience with story structure, themes, and pacing. and it seems like this translation step is the key to making something that is at least base level enjoyable. they can elevate the source material to the point that you would be fooled into thinking that the original author wrote something that was decent.

so to the disbelief of 16 year old me, if i see a manga adaptation i will eat that shit up and not give a fuck about the original author's vision.

this is just a longform rambling way of saying that Otherside Picnic is exceptional in that the novels are good. really good. it's almost as if the author is a curious person who has actually read books before and isn't just ejaculating their wish fulfillment and toxic mindsets onto the page.

read Otherside Picnic today!

#otherside picnic

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scoobydoodean · 3 months

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so i’ve always been annoyed by the belief that “sam and dean are toxically co-dependent, especially dean!” like it just baffles me once i remember all the times they’ve been apart without one of them being dead (and actually including post swan song to an extent), but i’ve never been able to properly articulate why i think dean at least isn’t really co-dependent on sam. like there’s a difference between being (co)dependent on somebody and dean’s parentification right? thanks!

I'll preface this by saying I am not a medical professional nor have I studied academic literature on codependency in great detail. That said, "codependency" is usually just a buzzword used colloquially to describe people who are obsessed with each other anyway. I address the colloquial use and how Sam is much more unhinged here. I'm guessing the colloquial use is really more what you mean, but if you're looking for something different or a little more specific than that, I can probably write or point you to some other things I've written if you give me something more specific to go on.

That said, there is something about the way fandom talks about "codependency" between Sam and Dean that bothers me, and I think by reading around about codependency today after I got this ask, and finding out that this term is controversial among mental health professionals as well... I finally figured out why.

I think to a lot of people, "codependent" has become synonymous with words like "needy" and "suffocating". However, the WebMD type articles I started with, suggest that the partner of the codependent party is the one whose needs seem to constantly overshadow and outweigh the needs of the codependent partner in the relationship. While the codependent partner can exhibit negative behaviors, the primary problem of the codependent party is that in being a caretaker, they can lose all sense of their identity and boundaries, and don't know who they are outside of being a caretaker for others. However, this is a more modern take on the term. Because these articles I started with mentioned academic controversy, I then found a few academic papers to skim, and this proved to be even more helpful in understanding why I... don't like this term very much.

First, the historical origins of it are... off-putting. The term "codependency" first emerged in academic literature in the 1940s to describe wives with alcoholic husbands who behave as "enablers" [1, 2]. I probably don't have to point out how different things were for women back then, and how rampantly sexist that context makes this first wave of literature sound, but it's discussed extensively in this article. Second, there is more stigma associated with the term partly because Alcoholics Anonymous (shocking /s) latched onto it starting in the 60s and 70s:

The influence of the AA culture in shaping the concept of codependency as an illness offered the idea that people who were close to the substance user were themselves suffering from an illness (O’Briean and Gaborit 1992). These people were viewed as enablers and coalcoholics (Cotton 1979). [ 1 ]

I... think I am probably not the only one who finds that utterly rancid to read (some academics writing on the subject certainly seem to):

According to Gus Napier, a noted family therapist, it is "ridiculous" to label codependency as a disease, because it is a culturally conditioned response of an overfunctioning person in relationship with an underfunctioning person (Meacham, 1990-1991). [2]

Some researchers who have pushed the term "codependency" as a diagnosis have actually suggested that literally anyone who is living with someone with an addiction should be called co-dependent by definition, regardless of any behavior they may exhibit, which tells you a lot about the lack of consensus and how meaningless the term can be [2]. The term (especially within the disease model where codependency itself is a from of addiction) has been criticized by many researchers for the misogyny through which the term originated, for unproductive negative labeling and pathologizing of people (especially women) dealing with incredibly difficult situations with their loved ones, for victim-blaming people (especially women stuck in abusive relationships) for the actions of their partners, for tangentially—negative stereotyping about people with serious addictions, and for conflating addiction with interpersonal problems, and in the extreme case—for suggesting separation from ones family is the solution to addiction and supporting someone with an addiction somehow always enables them [1, 2].

Since the original stream of literature related to addiction, codependency has rebranded and expanded into literature on family experiences with abuse and mental and physical illness. Which is where we get articles like this one I already linked. The codependent party is still a caretaker in these settings, caring for the needs of a loved one who is ill. Still, "codependency" is not an official medical diagnosis (i.e. not in the DSM-5). It's a term that has been used in academic literature by mental health professionals, when trying to describe a range of behaviors within dysfunctional families. These researchers do not agree on the term's meaning or on whether it even is or should be a diagnosis. Many are interested in it only from an interpersonal or personality perspective, which is also where we should stick.

Taking all of this into account though, I think the very first thing we have to ask ourselves is what exactly we get out of using the term "co-dependency" to describe Sam and/or Dean when the term doesn't even really have an agreed-upon meaning. Is the intention to write interesting character analysis, or is the intention to glorify or criticize using a term that has historically stigmatized understandable human reactions to troubled family situations? I think the goal has perhaps too often been the latter.

That said, I've already been referencing it, but I think this article does a good job of summarizing much of the literature, and then actually focusing on people who do choose, of their own accord, to identify with the term "codependent" because it is helpful for them in understanding their own lived experience and their patterns within relationships. I don't think there's anything wrong with wanting to explore this as it relates to Sam and Dean with the right motivations. If you read the accounts of the respondents who choose to identify with the term, you'll see shades of Sam and Dean I think (I have written something pretty close to the chameleon-self about season 1 Dean, and I can apply that one to Sam too through his attempts to fit in at Stanford). When it comes to my experience with these characters however, I just don't find that I personally see any value in analyzing Sam and Dean through the word "codependent" given it's lack of agreed-upon meaning professionally and colloquially.

It seems to me that the term itself leads to more confusing conversations instead of less confusing ones because of the lack of clear definition, and the potential for negative stereotyping instead of actual edifying analysis is extremely off-putting to me. It just doesn't do anything for me personally. The issues to which it relates I think are interesting (especially parentification which is a term I do find useful), and I think criticisms leveled against the term are also useful to read in understanding ones own struggles with how fandom tends to frame Dean as a caretaker who they believe is actually somehow responsible for everyone else's decisions. But I think that perhaps I prefer words and concepts that are better defined than the muddiness of the term "codependent".

Lastly: Even if I'm not a particular fan of the term, the fact is that the actual show uses the term twice—in season 5 (shoutout to butch--dean's transcript search engine). Once in 5.11 "Sam, Interrupted" (to Dean):

DR. FULLER Well, to be frank, uh, the relationship that you have with your brother seems dangerously codependent. I think a little time apart will do you both good.

First, this dude doesn't really know what's going on and thinks Sam and Dean are having delusions. However, in season 5, Sam's experience with demon blood is repeatedly paralleled with drug or alcohol addiction, and Sam is someone for whom Dean has been made to feel responsible for most of his life. This episode addresses Dean's overly burdensome responsibilities in other ways and it's also come up in the past in 1.12, 2.09, 2.10, and 4.05. I prefer to discuss this theme with much more specific terms. In this case, I would say Dean has an "overactive sense of responsibility to others", originating first with his childhood experiences with parentification. Sam also has a tendency to try and make Dean shoulder responsibility for his decisions when they backfire, and does so multiple times related to the demon blood (4.04, 4.21, 5.05). Cas and Zachariah also both blame Dean for Sam breaking the last seal because he didn't stop him in time (5.01, 5.02) and Bobby criticizes how Dean responds to Sam's addiction (4.22).

And then again in 5.18 "Point of No Return", specifically when Zachariah (my favorite manipulative angel) tries to get Adam to be on his side by basically calling Sam and Dean creepy incestuous weirdos:

ZACHARIAH So you know you can’t trust them, right? You know Sam and Dean Winchester are psychotically, irrationally, erotically codependent on each other, right?

This one honestly to me is just Zachariah doing Zachariah things. I'll reach these episodes on my rewatch fairly soon though, so we'll see if I end up talking about it more then.

Bacon, I., McKay, E., Reynolds, F. et al. The Lived Experience of Codependency: an Interpretative Phenomenological Analysis. Int J Ment Health Addiction 18, 754–771 (2020). https://doi.org/10.1007/s11469-018-9983-8

Anderson, S. C. (1994). A Critical Analysis of the Concept of Codependency. Social Work, 39(6), 677–685. http://www.jstor.org/stable/23717128

#mail #5.11 #5.18 #parentification #family chains

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accio-victuuri · 3 months

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i’m gonna keep this short cause i don’t wanna sound like i’m gloating. this new magazine collaboration of xz with gq is an example of why fan sensitivities and drama have no place in their career and the entertainment circle. for the past months, a lot of bxgs were unnecessarily “hurt” that wyb is working with gq and their editor so closely. it’s like xz personally confided with them about his problems related to gq and they have to be offended. lol. going as far as to accuse rocco of making wyb uncomfortable when he clearly wasn’t. and now, they did a collab with gq a month apart which is now being eaten as candy. 🍬

the point is, don’t get too caught up with fandom toxicity and make that affect how you support the content they put out. those who said xz would never work with gq or that they blacklisted gq, where are you now huh? liking and commenting on gq’s weibo account. some may say that gq is bowing down to xz just to console themselves and deny that they made a mistake. but anyone who is willing to step out of the fandom hive mind and think for themselves will know what’s happening here. fans are too sensitive to criticism and it’s hilarious cause zz and wyb are 2 people who have always been open to it. they both have thick skins and don’t burn bridges. they understand the industry and why it’s important to be nice and professional. if only the fans can do the same.

#bjyx #yizhan #I SAID WHAT I SAID #people are just way to sensitive right now lol #a generation of weak ass people

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climb10 · 1 day

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Why you should be mutuals with me, a new hermitcraft blog:

-i watch a lot of hermits, so i’ll be down to be excited with u about random moments in streams and episodes

-i am busy, so u will either get many posts in one day or none

-i am a grown up with very important grown up opinions, such as that Keralis’s horse sales and insurance coverage policies should be included in the lore text on the all mobs permit, as with bucket mobs

-i do not have time to start or participate in drama, unless it is the drama of bdubs spam clicking his bed every sundown

-Scar is my favorite hermit, but so is Gem, Bdubs, and Etho and also Joel and Pearl and

-i will leave hearts on your fanart, even if you are newer to drawing and it has uncanny valley energy, because i also struggle with proportions and it doesn’t matter how proficient you are, i will genuinely enjoy it and be glad that you are making something you love and that you are practicing your skills

-i am a teacher so i am professionally good at hyping people up (this could be u?)

-i have been in therapy for almost a year, and i communicate mindfully and carefully through conflict (once, my therapist said “I don’t think you have a mean bone in your body,” which is not true, but still nice)

-i have watched on and off since 2017, but i need someone to explain the fandom discourse. why does grian have little wings on his head all the time?

-i do know proper punctuation; i am just using this style of grammar to signal that i am non-threatening. not as a manipulation tactic, but because i am not a threat, and i prefer to be extremely upfront about that

-i will not try to out-fan you; i will just be excited to talk about hermitcraft with you

-i will never be upset if you over-explain something because i do that too

-i am very non-toxic positivity; this is not a space i use to complain

-i reblog, like, everything

#hermitcraft #hermitblr #geminitay #bdubs #ethoslab #secret life #smallishbeans #pearlescentmoon #goodtimeswithscar #grian #keralis

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softieteez · 1 year

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Hiii I was wondering if you can do a yunho imagine of collabing with idol s/o or crush with a dance performance which went viral and ppl start to ship them

Can you relate it to this video: https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMLYv3F7f/

chemistry

link

note: i was so excited when i saw the link. these are two of my favorite dancers and this dance is my favorite. i love this request *update* this is from like forever ago but with everything i forgot about it, i hope you see this anon. idk how well i like this but.

pairing: idol!yunho x fem!idol!reader

genre: fluff, slight angst, but mostly fluff

warning: hate, toxic fans (don’t be a toxic fan)

as the main dancer in a kpop group, your company often pushes you to do things like solo dances, special appearances, and now duets. you don't ever mind, you love dancing, but of course doing all these activities all the time definitely has it's flaws.

for example, stress, hate for always being pushed more than your other members, and now... dating rumors.

your company is very close with ateez's company, kq entertainment. so that meant that your songs usually get produced by their production team, you guys also get choreography from bbtrppin because the ceo of kq put in a good word. it has it's advantages. but your favorite thing about it is getting to actually meet ateez, which you've only done a couple times.

though the two of you groups aren't all that close, yet, your fandoms have caught onto the fact that there's a friendship there. so many twitter accounts to post 'crumbs' of ateez and your group. which are usually just you members talking about them or the other way around.

so it's safe to say that your fans love the chemistry that they haven't even seen, and it's brought in more attention to both of your groups. and we all know how kpop companies love attention and money.

and it seems as though the two companies came up with the perfect plan.

when you first heard the idea of you and yunho doing a duet together, you were kind of skeptical. mainly because idols don't really do that kind of stuff anymore, it's rare to see a male idol dance with a female idol. but at the end of the day, this is business, it's a professional setting. plus, yunho is a very tall, attractive man, and you would be lying to say you don't have a small thing for him. so you agree.

it was nearly shocking how good the chemistry between the two of you was, even in the beginning. now that you have been working on the dances for a while, you both have grown a pretty great friendship.

"ah! done" you grunt and fall onto the floor. you have to admit, this is one of the hardest dances you've done since your competition days.

yunho laughs, trying to catch his breath. he just stands there and looks at you laying all sprawled out on the floor. even when you're tired and sweaty, you were so beautiful to him, you always have been.

from the moment he saw your debut he had heart eyes for you. and when he met you and your group for the first time, it only grew. so you can only imagine how he felt when your ceo's told you about the duet idea.

"let's take a break, then we can go over the lift again" yunho clapped his hands laughing as you groan again.

you guys have been working on this dance for weeks, and it's been both amazing and stressful. but having yunho there made it easier, he was really good at coming up with plans, knowing when to take it slow. he's easy to work with.

the next day was the same routine, wake up, get dressed, meet yuhno at the dance studio and dance until after dark. but today would be only a tad bit different because the companies would be releasing a teaser picture today.

the picture is simply you and yunho stand with your back to the camera. your hands on your hips while yunho rests his elbow on your shoulder. you’re both wearing your performance outfits, which were quite simply but still nice.

it’s a good picture, so good that it’s your lockscreen.

“hey” yunho smiled when you walked in, he’s usually always here before you. because of this you bring him coffee and snacks to have during your breaks.

“hi” you return the smile and hand him his coffee. he finds it so endearing that even under stress and tiredness, you still find it in you to be so kind to everyone. coffee is just a small gesture, sure, but it’s more than that…

“ready to start?” he asked you as he put his coffee down after drinking a few sips. you let out a sigh and nod. you place your bag and coffee on the bench, taking your coat off and tying your hair up.

you were a perfectionist so you would always work until everything’s perfect. hongjoong and your leader, jiah, often point that out and scold which you which quite hypocritical of them. but even if yunho is in the bathroom, you’re practicing.

it’s like this for another week. for another week your members watch you get more anxious and stressed. for another week everyone gets more excited.

until… the day it releases.

“it’s up in five!” wooyoung yells, running into your groups dorms with the rest of the members following behind him. nayoon, your most hyper member has become quite close with wooyoung and san these days, no surprise to that.

“yah! you can’t just barge in peoples homes!” your oldest member, minyoung scolded. but soon calmed down when jiah explained that they were given permission to do so.

“hey! yn!” san smiled at you and gave you a high five.

“hi!” you giggle as he brings you into a hug. you greet all the ateez members, including yunho of course, before everyone sat in front of the tv waiting for the firestick to load.

“are you nervous?” yunho asked you. the rest of your members were all huddled on the couch so you two stood behind it.

“a little” you whisper, pinching the air with your thumb and pointer finger. “i just hope it turned out good”

“of course it turned out good!” jiah scolded you for thinking otherwise.

“yah! you guys have been working for a month to perfect this. it’s gonna be amazing!” hongjoong scolded as well. you and yunho chuckled at your leaders' similarities.

“they posted it!” mingi announced, seeing the notification on his phone.

the youngest member in your group, myung, nodded and loaded youtube. everyone screams when they see the video already in the recommended.

“ah! you guys look so cool in the thumbnail!” seonghwa smiled before the video started. while waiting for it to load, you got nervous. and when you’re nervous, you would usually hold your oldest member's hand for comfort. so you held yunho’s hand instead.

at first, he was shocked, but he gladly excepted without a second thought. he wrapped his fingers around yours, looking at your hands and chuckling over how small yours were compared to his.

“it’s starting shut up” nayoon hushed everyone.

“no one's eve-“

“shhh” nayoon cut myung off as the music began playing.

throughout the whole video, the members would scream out ‘woah’s and ‘oooh’s. wooyoung would just scream. you smiled the entire time, suddenly feeling an inner pride in yourself. yunho smiled every time you excitedly tugged his hand or made a face. he wasn’t sure what he looked at more, you, or the dancing. probably you.

he felt so happy to have shared the experience with you. the person he’s liked for so long. and even if you two remain friends, nothing more, he’s perfectly happy with that.

he snapped back into reality when everyone began clapping and cheering, suddenly becoming shy as everyone’s eyes were on the both of you. he felt his heart crack a little when you let go of his hand, though he understood.

“our yn-ie did so good!” jiah cheered and walked over to you, squeezing the life out your ribcage.

“unnie, can’t breathe”

after that, no one really checked the comments, knowing that it’d have some sort of effect on someone in the room. even if it’s not you or yunho, someone will get pissed.

ateez stayed for dinner before leaving back to their dorm. you and yunho texted until three in the morning that night talking about how happy you were. you were so so happy.

the next morning was the first one in a while where you didn’t have to do anything. so you slept in until minyoung walked into your room, shaking you awake.

“yn-ah, get up. we have something to show you”

you nod and wait for her to leave before getting up, changing into something warmer than what you wore to bed. walking into the living room, you notice the laptop is out. this usually happened after something would drop. the day after, you all would read comments so that nothing ruined your night of celebration.

“not a single bad comment found” myung smiled giddily at you and she drug you over to the laptop. she was right, all the comments were nice. and most of them were shipping you.

“people like you guys together” nayoon teased, wiggling her eyebrows. you chuckled and shake your head.

‘they’re chemistry is amazing!’

‘they’re so clean!!!’

‘wait but they’re so cute together!’

‘omg… new ship??’

you couldn’t believe you were being shipped with your crush, it was almost nerve-wracking. even though the idea of you and yunho dating made you smile a little, you can’t help but think it would make him uncomfortable.

your stomach churns as you read more, mostly english, comments on how you and yunho would make this cute couple. power couple.

“people really like you together” nayoon teased, earning a glare from your leader. they hadn’t seen those comments. they know your feelings for yunho, they also know that things like shipping with anyone makes you uncomfortable.

it’s not that you hate all shipping. no you’re pretty okay with people jokingly shipping you and your members, and jokingly shipping you and your other idol friends. as jokes. but these people aren’t joking. maybe most people would be over the moon happy about this, it only made you anxious.

“we didn’t see those ones” minyoung swore to you, and you trust her on that. they would never have you look at these comments if they saw them.

“it’s fine, i’m gonna go shower and stuff” you smile at your members and escape to the bathroom. you wash away your worries and stress of it all. finally just having a moment to breathe since you even started working on that dance.

when you got out of the shower, you just put sweats on again and relaxed. you had no schedule but you knew yunho did. he usually does honestly. but you wonder if he’s seen the comments, how he feels about them, if his members tease him the same way nayoon and myung have been.

you haven’t read from him yet today, which only made you more anxious. the worst case scenarios were running through your head. you sat in your room until you had the energy to leave it. you don’t want this to bug you too much, i mean it was expected with such a dance. a lot of skin contact, not to mention the amount of emotion it holds.

no one has really seen this type of dance from yunho either. from you? sure, but this was pretty new to him. some people knew he was taking contemporary classes, but you’re not sure if people realize just how fast he picks up choreo. the video gained millions of views in the first few hours, both fandoms combined showing just how powerful they are.

you were rewatching the dance, pointing out anything you might have messed up. but you can’t find much, you thank the camera work because the day of the filming you didn’t feel too confident. you were watching the lift when you get a text.

yunho:

did you see the comments???

you:

yeah…

yunho:

can i come over later?

you:

yeah.

yunho:

don’t worry, i’m not mad

i just wanna tell you something

you:

oh… okay… what time are you planning?

yunho:

around 5? if that’s okay with everyone

you:

yeah, see ya then

it would only be you and minyoung home. jiah already left to the studio early, which is no surprise. myung planned to go to dinner with her dad since he is visiting town. and nayoon is going shopping with some friends that she graduated with. minyoung had no plans, but you do now, kinda.

“hey” you call out, grabbing the oldest attention.

“hey, what’s up?” she asked, filling her cup with ice water.

“yunho’s gonna be over around five, you and i are gonna be the only ones home so i figured i’d let you know” you said, watching her face turn a little smug.

“oh, okay” she smirked

“what are you thinking” you squint your eyes at her

“oh nothing…” she continues smirking as she twists the lid onto her cup “just keep it pg” she completes as she leaves the kitchen

“unnie!”

a few hours have passed, it was now five but you lost track of time so you’re sitting on the couch eating grapes. minyoung was in her room, either sleeping or reading you never know. but she seemed to catch the time a while ago, she up and left to her room around 4:30.

you’re minding your own when you hear a knock. you look at the time and realize that it was indeed yunho. “coming!” you yell out. you place the bowl of grapes on the coffee table while getting up.

you open the door, seeing the much taller man standing in front of you. “hey” you breathe out and move out of his way to let him in. “hey” he repeats.

“we can go to my room if you want, minyoung is the only one here so…” you felt so awkward. you really didn’t mean to be though, you and yunho have grown a great friendship since you both began the dance. but the comments and the anxiety of why he was here in the first place was killing you.

“that works” he nods, following you to your well-decorated bedroom. you shut the door behind him and turn off the music that was playing in the back. the taller sits on you bed, waiting for you to take a seat next to him. you sit at the end of the bed, facing him with your legs crossed “so…” he looks like he’s thinking really hard on what to say.

“so?” you chuckle. he only lets out a deep breath, rubbing his hands on his sweats nervously before looking you in the eye. you begin growing even more anxious. ‘please just say something’

“uhm, the comments… i’m sorry about some of them. i know a lot of atiny-“

“it’s both our fans, it’s fine” you chuckle, thinking he’s talking about the shipping… but you can tell by his face something else is up.

“what- what comments do you think i’m talking about…”

oh?

“the-the shipping one’s… the girls showed me this morning…” your voice suddenly becomes small, what else could you be talking about?

his face drops slightly, a frown forming on his face, "i-i thought you seen the other ones," he said, more to himself rather than you.

"what other ones? i've seen the shipping ones and i thought maybe you were uncomfortable and thats wh-" you rambled on until he stopped you.

"no, no. i mean i've seen them but those aren't what i'm worried about, i was coming to make sure you're okay" he said worriedly, still shocked to learn that you haven't seen all the hate you've been receiving

"yeah, why wouldn't i be? what are the other comments?" you ask, reaching in your back pocket for your phone, but yunho grabs your arm just as you pulled your phone out. he reached his hand out for your phone. you hand it to him confused, but you don't question it. he takes your phone and puts it in his front pocket where his own phone was.

"it's nothing, if you haven't seen it that's good. i don't want you to see them" he said looking into your eyes with such sincerity that you've never experienced before. you knew there was going to be hate, but was it really that bad?

you nod your head and let it be "okay..." he smiles at you and gives you a hug.

"i'm glad you're okay" he sighed. you've received a lot of hate in the past, you're not sure why, but it's just part of the job. and as you gain more traction, the more it comes in. you and a couple of your members have been greatly affected by the hate before, you had to take a hiatus not too long ago. so you understood why yunho was so worried about it. "and the shipping comments, i really don't mind them" he comments as you both pull away from the hug.

"oh, w-what do you mean?" you thought he would be annoyed by it by now. all of you have been shipped with each other for so long, it gets old sometimes.

"i-i mean... i don't think they're wrong" he said, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly. what does he mean? "i feel like we have great chemistry" he chuckled a little bit.

you giggled a little, the comments were quite silly. "yeah?"

"y-yeah. uhm, i have to confess something actually, if that's okay?" he looks at you as your heart rate raises, you nod and continue looking in his eyes "i really like you, y/n, and i was actually wondering if you wanted to go out sometime? maybe when the shipping comments die down" he chuckled at his last comment, hoping to lighten the awkward air.

"i really like you too yunho, i'd love to go out with you."

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showtoonzfan · 9 months

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The Lackadaisy/HB fandom drama mind boggles me. Basically one of the people who worked on the show got mad at Viv for not providing a link when she screenshot donating to funding season 1, and tbf, they were in the wrong and made a very unnecessary passive aggressive tweet, but now the majority of the HH/HB fandom are deciding not to support or watch Lackadaisy at all all because ONE bad egg worked on the show??? Fuck off. Y’all are such hypocrites. They spout about how that tweet wasn’t professional, despite the fact that Viv herself has been outed MULTIPLE times for being a piece of shit, treating her employees unfairly, and showing unprofessional behavior, and yet they stick by her and her show. The only reason they care is because this person targeted Viv specifically. They don’t give a shit about professionalism or work environments.

And then to top it all off, Viv made another poor pity me tweet, (and of course deleted it) further sparking up the fire for her fanbase.

It something that stresses me because we already have people constantly comparing Lackadaisy to Viv’s work and fighting over which is better, it’s all tiring. From what we’ve heard though, this drama has been settled, this is Ze’s fault to begin with. As for the HH/HB fandom, lol good riddance we don’t need toxic people like them in the Lackadaisy fandom.

#vivziepop critical #spindlehorse critical

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whitedemon-ladydeath · 7 months

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SJM + Eugenics + Ableism in her Writing

thinking about how insidious eugenics can come up in writing- specifically SJMs writing. Personally I take a lot with a grain of salt bec I don't think a lot of ppl realize how fucking deeply entrenched and rooted it is in everything and more often than not its not intentional

and to an extent I don't think it was intentional by SJM. she does have a degree of plausible deniability in her story telling

however that being said:

the Cauldron "pairing mates" has allusions to being a breeding program of some kind of supernatural predestined idiocy. Sam + Melissa on Tiktok have some pretty great videos on it

However, while they think that SJM is providing commentary on the matter, I do have a different view, not that I really disagree with what they're saying

SJM has a track record of using disabilities as an aesthetic for her characters. It's often a point of suffering and/or there ends up being a magical fix (yay fantasy eugenics providing miracle cures!!! /sarcasm)

Chaol, severely injured with a spinal cord injury that left him paralyzed goes to the super special healing place to have the world's bestest healers where the magical healing trope + black girl magic collide. He spends the whole book, a duration of only six months, regaining the ability to walk, with a cane most days. Chaol spends a large part of the book feeling sorry for himself and immasculting himself. Yerene, a professional trained healer who helps him with PT snaps at him in frustration to "just get up" when he's being difficult with her Note: some of these detailed may be incorrectly remembered + I never finished the book bec I can't stand him

Lucien: he gets his eye ripped out and is literally blinded but now he has a magical eye that is even better and can sense magic and spells and all that good shit

Rhys: chronic pain; never addressed

Azriel: scarred hands and wings, but so far we've seen no real struggle or accommodation of any kind or even a real discussion on how he had to learn how to fly at an older age due to his captivity and scarred wings

Cassian: his wings were beyond shredded but between books they got fixed up right as rain. it would have been fantastic rep for this decorated veteran and leader to be disabled, esp for a culture of warriors where flying is so crucial + where thr women are also forceably mutilated and can't fly either

speaking of the illyrian women

the Illyrian Women: not being able to fly and use their limbs is a disability. We have seen zero repercussions of Emeries father (and brother(?)) for disabling and mutilating his daughter

the mental health crisis of NESTA for ONE. in both the Fandom and in the series the grating toxic positivity and lack of patience and understanding and support and willingness to meet her halfway enraged me holy shit. The tone policing, the lack of autonomy, the unaddressed childhood trauma that has made Nesta the core of who she was. it was vile and disgusting

Aelin: quite frankly should have difficulty moving as fluidly as she does. she was whipped to ribbons and beaten bloody. Her back should be full of chronic pain and difficulty

Elide: as far as I'm aware Elide isn't too bad and she's incredibly intelligent and resourceful but it's been a hot minute since I've read the series. I do remember when they talked about it at the end about possibilities to heal her ankle (they couldn't)

I haven't read CC yet but I heard that LIMBS CAN GROW BACK???? sure let's just completely erase and magically fix imputations I guess?

I find it a lit harder to forgive "accidental eugenics" when her disabled characters disabilities are either made into Aesthetics, not properly addressed, or just healed all together

and when you pair magical eugenics + aesthetics:

You get Rhysand, the most powerful high lord of ever that you just have to keep being told is the most powerful high lord ever due to his parents being mates that his father whisked away from moments before she became mutilated like all the other Illyrian Women at 18 years old to a 900 year old man

you get his entire IC who is made of The Night Courts super special powerful clique who now happen to be the most powerful illyrian EVERRRR (Cassian + Azriel), Amren who was some trapped angel of death or something and Mor who is just so super powerful a mountain quaked or something when she was born

the entire IC is a concentrated powerhouse who also uses a specific mindset of "might is right"-

-and have forced others hands across the entire series or just outright lied and stole. also trespassing and routinely breaking laws but hey

Rowan, Aelin, Aedion, Dorian, Manon are all ToG Powerhouses. Rowan is described as the "most powerful full blooded fae male alive". there's an implication that human blood "weakens" fae traits and magical abilities [this is rather common in a lot of fantasy books]

every single character in this series is seen as some sort of extraordinary person with some sort of extraordinary power or ability aside from maybe a few. Hell Chaol, the only fully human character with no powers is the "Captian of the Guard" which he got bec he's a nepo baby from being Dorians friend. He gets disabled and they immediately go to get him fixed

tagging: @feynessupremacy @bookishfeylin @andramoreaux

I thought yall would appreciate

#prev. wolfgeneralashryver #sjm critical #acotar #a court of thorns and roses #throne of glass #tog #ableism #eugenics in acotar #eugenics in tog #eugenics #my posts get good traction yall cowards better interact with these posts. i see yall scrolling whenever i talk about this

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dollopheadedmerlin · 7 months

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One thing I find interesting about toxic fandom spaces is that if the source material delves into something "problematic" it's okay and acceptable. If a character gets into an abusive relationship or is in some way tormented in canon, that is seen as fine. But the moment a fan writes a fic that revolves around abuse or draws art depicting torture or has some sort of headcanon that darkens the story, people will hunt them with pitchforks and torches.

And I think it's mostly because of two things.

One is that the source material is often seen as more professional, allowing it to delve into deeper topics. It's given permission by the audience to take on the responsibility of depicting delicate situations.

Two is that modern fandom is being warped into non fiction. A good portion of people in fandom take "ship" to mean "dynamic that you aspire to see in reality, the ideal partner for this character" rather than just being short for "relationship, good or bad." Headcanon is seen to mean "thing you want to become canon, want to see on screen, want to be explicitly confirmed by the creators" instead of "thing I choose to believe in my interpretation of the show, as it isn't contradicted by canon."

It's compounded by how reading comprehension skills are at an all time low academically. People conflate fiction with fantasy, exploration with anticipation.

Every artist is allowed to explore the darker things in life, whether they're about the create the next big thing that everyone will be talking about for the next year, or if they're scribbling down a fan fiction on their lunch break. Let people create without sweating about being attacked for diving into the what-ifs and curiosities of trauma and relationships. It doesn't represent their wishes for reality.

#mine

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johngaiussimp · 2 years

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Locked Tomb UQuiz Masterpost!

Hellllooooo. I make a lot of uquizzes on Twitter for fun. i post/make them at various levels of seriousness, so they are mostly the farthest thing from professional and pretty horny and silly.* But if you want to take a bunch of locked tomb personality quizzes made by a silly nerd, here’s a list from over the years!

Every quiz is probably NSFW lol. More recent ones have Nona spoilers (at the bottom of list)

There are also other quizzes that are by other amazing people, take their quizzes too (too stoned to figure out how to find all those) (if you want to reblog with your own quizzes pls do so)

here you gooooooo.

Which Ianthe vibe are you?

Which Griddlehark quote/moment are you?

Which goth Harrow nickname are you?

Which name does Harrowhark Nonagesimus call you?

How fucked up are you? (based on a very specific TLT measurement)

Which hilarious Mercymorn insult are you?

What does your TLT House say about you as a lover?

What sexy Cytherea moment are you?

What TLT meme are you?

Which article of Harrowhark’s clothing are you?

What type of cavalier are you?

How quickly would you die in Canaan House?

What does Ianthe call you?

Which TLT woman are you going on a hot date with?

Which Third House au plot point are you?

Which Ninth House feature/element are you?

Which fake TLT academic journal title are you?

What makkachinning Griddlehark AU are you?

Answer would you rather questions and get assigned a TLT wife!

How well do you know Ianthe Tridentarius?

Analyze this Gideon and Ianthe banter scene and I’ll guess your astrological sign incorrectly.

Choose your own adventure TLT au (which original Lyctor are you?)

Which piece of TLT underwear are you?

Answer FMK - get assigned a strange TLT au of my own creation.

Which cursed TWT fan TLT moment are you (would you rather)

Which certified TLT stoner are you?

Answer some Qs and get assigned a TLT hottie and a Taylor Swift song

Which BOE prisoner are you from “As yet Unsent”

Which brat Ianthe moment /emoji are u???

How long could you stay married with Ianthe?

Which false homestuck reference in TLT are you?

Match a reaction image to TLT characters and get assigned a TLT ex-gf

Which TLT cat are you?

Which form of Alecto are you going to date?

What interpretation of Mercymorn’s drawing of a RB are you?

What is your TLT toxic trait (character edition)?

What is your TLT love language?

What is your job during the Great Jizz Heist?

What’s your toxic tlt trait (fandom edition)?

Top, bottom or switch, TLT edition

Which arcane x tlt ship are you?

Which line from the Nona book summary are you?

who is your TLT secret santa and what do they get you?

R u hole or slick or knot? decorate a christmas tree.

What Tor nona cover promotion tweet are you?

What Nona cover detail are you?

Which horny TLT moment are you?

Who is your TLT one night stand?

Who in Bridgerton are you? (TLT x bridgerton )

which Locked Tomb villain are you?

What kind of ass would Ianthe flesh magic onto you?

Whose strap are you []ing tonight?

Who is your 2022 TLT pride crew?

Are you top bottom or switch (nona edition)?

Which name does Pyrrha call you?

*Please note that these quizzes are made by a freak who is friends with freaks and doesn’t fuck with trying to police other ppls shipping choices lmao.

#the locked tomb #TLT #gideon the ninth #nona the ninth #harrow the ninth #yeah i know these are all unhinged. u dont have to take them dw

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jesterwriting · 5 months

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JESTER MY DEAREST !!! I am SO excited for you that you've hit 200 followers, you absolutely deserve them AND MORE !!

If I may please request for your milestone event, Law with G/N or AFAB Reader with Dangerous Thing 😭😭😭💖💖💖 IF POSSIBLE, thank you sm for everything you do, you are integral to this fandom 💖💖💖💖💖

Congrats again you wicked awesome mofo 💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖

pairings: mad scientist!law x assistant!reader

word count: 2.2k words

contents: DARK CONTENT AHOY!! reanimator au, modern au, dead bodies, desecrating graves, manslaughter, codependency, unhinged!law, gore, horror elements, toxic relationships, quick mention of experimentation on animals

note: HAIII MANDIE <33 TYSM IM SO EXCITED :33 okay so. i had reanimator on the brain when i listened to a dangerous thing to start planning this request and got absolutely POSSESSED. this is definitely very spooky, even though halloween is over. i hope you enjoy <33

playlist: a dangerous thing - aurora

“Something about you is soft like an angel, and something inside you is violence and danger. I knew from the moment we met, you are a dangerous thing.”

written for 200 followers event!!

How did it come to this?

Dirt was everywhere; in your shoes, between your fingernails, in your hair. You sighed and shook your head, watching a few chunks crumble to the ground. Setting your shovel to the side, you hefted your wheelbarrow up, and wheeled it inside. It was heavy thanks to the corpse that weighed it down. Dead weight was easier to manage in your head, especially when it was already stiff with rigor mortis.

Even underneath the tarp, you could almost see its glassy eyes staring up at you. Law would tell you that you were being illogical. It wasn’t even alive, how could it bother you? What you should really be afraid of was the inevitable rampage it’d go on if he didn’t strap it down before administering his reagent. Something about being dead really made one grumpy when they woke back up again. Maybe there was an afterlife, and it was just that good that people were furious when they woke up, half rotted, in a random man’s basement.

To be entirely honest, you couldn’t blame them for being pissed off when in Law’s presence. He seemed to have a knack for that.

A bit of anxiety wormed its way into your gut, squirming uncomfortably. Desecrating graves was not your favorite way to spend your Saturday, but when Law caught wind of an untimely death on the news, his mind was working a mile a minute. It was suffocation, no damage to the body, only a lack of oxygen to the brain. In his words, it was the perfect corpse for reanimation. It was a shame he had to wait for the body to be buried before he could get his hands on it, Law would have preferred it to be fresh.

“I’m home,” You called once you crossed the threshold, unsurprised when you got no response. You had been living with Law for six months now. Moving in had been his idea. If you were going to be his assistant, it was better to have you close, and you, so blinded by your infatuation for him, agreed readily.

The wheelbarrow squeaked as you pushed it further into the living room, down the hall, and then down the basement stairs where Law waited. His laboratory was brighter than necessary. He installed fluorescent bulbs into the light fixtures to mimic a hospital setting. You didn’t know why he felt this was so important, if you had to guess, maybe it made him feel more professional while he carved into the corpses you brought home. They were mostly animals, though on the occasion, like now, the two of you got lucky enough to host human subjects.

The room stank of blood, rot, and chemicals. You wrinkled your nose, carefully maneuvering your charge down the concrete steps. Law barely spared you a glance, looking up from his microscope before he slipped on his lab coat and covered his tattooed hands with rubber gloves. You quickly followed suit. He could be impatient at times, especially when he was excited to get started, and you would rather not get snapped at so late at night.

“This is the right one?” Law pulled back the tarp to get a good look at the body. It was dressed in a suit, arms crossed over its chest. He gave it a once over, searching for any signs of damage from the trek over, thankfully finding none. “You did well, thank you.”

Your heart swelled under the rare praise, a warm blush heating your cheeks. “I sure hope it's the right one because I’m not digging up another grave tonight.”

“You will if I ask you too,” Law said, and you didn’t bother to argue because you knew he was right. You were weak when it came to him.

No words were spoken as you worked in tandem with each other. Law linked his arms under the body’s armpits and you grabbed it by the ankles, heaving it onto the metal table. Its limbs were stiff, locked in one position. When it was reanimated, there was a significant chance it wouldn’t be able to move. Neither of you wanted to take that chance, though. Not again, at least. A black eye and a concussion were enough to keep the two of you sticking to protocol from then on.

Law left you to strap it down to dig through the refrigerator for his reagent, a green fluid glowing under the fluorescent lights. You couldn’t get its arms uncrossed, so you focused on buckling the leather straps across its waist, legs, and forehead. The dead were strong, abnormally so. If you weren’t careful, the corpse would break free and end up destroying the lab. Then, you’d be stuck living with a pissed off Law for the next month. Which you would rather not deal with. He was already cold, but whatever slivers of softness that shone through would dissipate completely.

Once you were done, Law filled the syringe with his reagent, flicking it a few times to rid it of air. He tilted the corpse’s head to the side to get access to the brainstem, then shoved the needle into the base of its skull. You watched the reagent leaked into its brain, and waited for the inevitable. No matter how many times you watched reanimation happen, you could never rid yourself of the sick feeling in your gut.

First, its fingers twitched. It was a barely noticeable movement, fingertips barely lifting off the table. Then, its eyes shot open, bloodshot and angry. Its back arched off the table as it fought against the restraints, mouth open in a soundless scream. You heard a pop, and watched its jaw unhinged, a horrible wail finally echoing through the enclosed space. Blood poured from the corners of its mouth onto the floor.

Bile rose in your throat, threatening to spew across Law’s pristine laboratory. It wouldn’t be the first time it happened. You had hosed the remnants of your dinner into the drain in the middle of the floor along with bits of viscera on previous nights.

Law sighed and crossed his arms. “I knew this one wouldn’t be fresh enough for any new data.”

Still, he performed his usual duties, checking for pupil dilation, recognition of its name, and other signs of life before he flopped into his chair and scribbled furiously into his notebook. All the while, the corpse screamed. If this kept up, your neighbors would complain again and you would have to deal with placating Law’s landlord again.

As his assistant, you took care of most day to day duties. When it came to the dead, Law was in his element. With the living, however, he was lost. That was where you came in. You knew he needed you, almost as bad as you needed him. Without you, he would have been arrested months ago, though he only showed his pleasure through pats on the head or the occasional softening of his eyes. It was better than anyone else ever got from him.

It made you feel special.

“You’re still here?” Law looked up from his notebook, golden eyes focused on you. He stood and ruffled your hair, a hint of fondness in his gaze. “Go get some rest, I’ll clean up once I finish with my notes.”

“Shouldn’t you… you know?” You gestured to the corpse convulsing on the table. “It’s making a lot of noise, and I really don’t want to deal with the landlord tonight.”

Almost on cue, the front door slammed open. Your landlord had a key to the house, one he threatened to use on more than one occasion if he got any more noise complaints. You guessed this was the final straw.

It wasn’t until the stomping footsteps got closer to the basement did the reality of your situation hit. There was a man in your house who was going to discover you and the man you loved standing next to a reanimated corpse that would not stop fucking screaming. You would never see Law again. At least, not with you both in prison. You kicked the metal table in frustration, hoping the gesture would shut the corpse up. It did nothing but cause a loud bang and draw your landlord closer.

“Feel better, Y/N-ya?” Even though his tone was condescending, there was a glimmer of panic in Law’s expression.

If he put the corpse down now, your landlord would still find you with a dead body strapped to a medical table. There was no way to win in this situation. Unable to think straight through the haze of adrenaline, you decided it would be best to drive a scalpel into the back of its head, silencing it permanently yet again.

You hoped it would be able to find peace.

“Shut up, Law.” You rushed past him, hoping to beat your landlord to the stairs, only to see him standing in the doorway.

He marched down to meet you, his face twisted in rage. “You're lucky I don’t call the damn cops. How many times have I warned you to keep your sick sexual activities to yourself?”

Your landlord made it about halfway into the basement before he froze, eyes trained on the now quiet corpse. His mouth flopped open. Law was shaking, genuine fear apparent on his face. You had never seen him afraid, and it made you hate your landlord for ruining everything. There wasn’t much you had in life except for Law. You didn’t know what you would do if you lost him.

Time seemed to slow down. You watched your landlord turn on his heel, prepared to run back upstairs. On all fours, you lunged forward and wrapped your fingers around his ankle, yanking him down the steps. He collapsed inward, his forehead bouncing off the concrete with a loud ‘crack!’ You could smell the blood before you saw it, the man’s body crashing down towards you. Flattening yourself to the floor, your landlord’s weight crushed you before he reached the bottom. This time the back of his head slammed against the far wall, leaving behind a bloody stain. If you looked closely, you could see chunks of skin, hair, and brain matter in it.

“Is he dead?” It didn’t sound like it was your voice talking.

Law’s terror was replaced with barely contained excitement as he examined your landlord. First, he checked his radial artery, then his carotid. When he turned to you, a smirk firmly in place, your blood ran cold.

“He’s dead,” Law confirmed.

You couldn’t stop shaking. “I-I didn’t mean to.”

Placing his palms against your face, Law’s eyes were unwavering. His thumbs rubbed soothing circles into your cheekbones. “You did good. This is the freshest body I could have hoped for, aside from killing one myself. Now, I can get the results I need.”

So cold. You were so cold. Unable to keep from shivering, you curled your knees up to your chest. Law pressed a recorder into your hands and gave you a smile that would have been reassuring if it wasn’t for the grim mania settled in it.

“I need you to record.” Your fingers pressed the button of their own accord and Law patted your head as praise.

“Administering my reagent now,” He said. Just as before, Law tilted your landlord’s head so he had access to the brainstem before injecting him with the green fluid.

“Five seconds, no response.”

It was so quiet, you could hear your own heart pounding.

“Ten seconds, no response.”

You saw a fingertip twitch upward. Law must have seen it too because his grin was a gash across his normally stoic features.

“Fifteen seconds, reanimation begins.”

Your landlord howled, body convulsing and twisting. Before you could blink, he punched Law in the mouth, sending him reeling. Blood trickled from his split lip as he scurried away. When he saw you, still hyperventilating on the steps, he tossed his lab coat over your landlord’s head and crawled in between you and the rampaging corpse.

Your landlord roared, halfway between a scream and a sob. You were scared he would continue his rampage like other subjects. To your surprise, he curled himself into the corner, rocking back forth as he cried. Distantly, you decided he had the right idea. All you wanted to do right now was cry.

Law made his his up the stairs to you and wrapped his arms around your shoulders. He was chuckling while he cradled you against him with bloodied hands. His fingers left deep red smears across your face as he wiped away your tears.

“You’re in shock, but I need you to do one more thing and then I’ll take care of you, I promise.” He gently took the recorder from your hands and replaced it with his cellphone. “Call the authorities and tell them we were attacked in our home. The basement was off limits and we found this. Tell them that our landlord went crazy and attacked us.” When you gave him a shaky nod, he pressed his forehead against yours. Repeat it back for me.”

“Found something weird in our basement. Wh-When we asked, our landlord snapped and attacked us.”

Law’s eyes softened. “Good enough.”

It was a lucky thing for Trafalgar Law that you always did as you were told.

#one piece x reader #trafalgar law x reader #trafalgar law x yn #trafalgar law x you #.jesterwrites

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