#and how everyone i know around me got a fever from the second dose | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

moonctzeny · 3 years

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This is technically a part 2 of my fic Work for it but it can be enjoyed on its own!

pairing: supervisor !johnny x intern ! female reader x assistant !haechan

genre: smutty goodness (this will send me to hell vip)

word count: almost 14k

summary: “After you fuck the Sales’ department supervisor, Johnny Suh in your office during an overtime, you’re left to deal with the unavoidable lingering emotions that come with getting his dick on the regular. At the same time, his assistant and your best work buddy, Donghyuck, who initially helped you with getting with his boss, realises his growing crush on you that is too big to be ignored at this point. With their masterful skills in seduction, you’ve ended up tangled in a sexual game with the both of them, all the while trying to move up from an intern to a permanent worker in the company”

warnings: threesome w/ two doms, alcohol consumption, mention of food (meat, lettuce, eggs), oral, overstimulation, thigh job, at some point- reader borrows a shirt from haechan and it’s mentioned that it’s ‘too big on the shoulders’, thigh riding, office sex, pussy slapping, choking, fingering, sir kink thrown in there at some point, a little degradation bc this is my fic we’re talking about

a/n: omg it’s finally done! I really love this so I hope you guys like it as well :)

taglist: @rainodanna, @markresonates, @unknown5tar, @yoongsicles

For every other worker in the office, virtually nothing had changed.

They relive the same mundane routine, Monday after Monday, the same excruciating 8 hours and short cigarette breaks. The same trees, stuck in their ceramic imprisonment would greet them in the company’s entrance. Rigid and dusty and reeking of cheap plastic. It’s not like they’d come alive, open their little mouths on their thylakoid membranes and tell everyone you fucked mr. Suh, the Sales Department’s supervisor, in your office during your overtime. No, that’s not possible, you reminded yourself when you pass by them every morning, giving them a side eye for good measure, as if that would scare them off their zombie state.

And you were the same too, completing your tasks and meeting your deadlines. Blending in with the rest of the company’s human resource, with the exception of the occasional double take of some tactless male worker here and there.

Donghyuck, however, said supervisor’s assistant and your best friend, wasn’t your typical office worker. He noticed the extra layer of cherry lip gloss coating your lips. He noticed your new perfume, sweeter than the one you used to wear. He noticed the knowing smiles between you and his boss, the heat of your body when you were around him. And it wasn’t just because he was sharp overall.

He was the one who practically got you together, planted the seed in Johnny’s head about the cute new intern of the Financial Department. He was the one who convinced him to finally make a move on you, tired of seeing you trying over and over again to seduce the supervisor to your bed.

And when that seed finally sprouted, in the form of Johnny spitting in your mouth and taking you on your office chair like you were his last fuck on earth (according to the hair-raising description you gave Donghyuck the morning after), he should’ve been happy, right?

It didn’t really affect his life in the slightest.

You were just y/n. His friend, his work buddy. The person whom he was close enough to let you know you had a piece of lettuce stuck on your teeth from that sandwich you had on your break. The person who texted him funny gifs of pandas falling asleep during the most boring of meetings. With your nerdy glasses and that ugly brown suit you loved wearing so much. The person he dreamt of fucking every time he fell asleep.

When you told Donghyuck you had a crush on his boss he wasn’t shocked, but the stinging buzz in his guts surprised him. He would see you waltz right past his office all perked up and pretty, to see the person you really came for, nervous as you hung from every word that left Johnny’s mouth. He’d put up with the sound of you giggling over every stupid joke that left the older man’s mouth patiently, just to wait until he’d smell your sweet perfume as you’d walk past him again. To tease you over something that would make you mad enough to notice him, glare at him, maybe even hit him.

And Donghyuck wanted to hate Johnny, he really did. His stupid boss who asked for his coffee specifically made, who was rude and cranky on Monday mornings and got the credit for all his hard work, yet Johnny was nothing of the sort. He was helpful, and kind and let him off early. He was funny and good looking and taller than him and had a six pack, damn it. If Donghyuck was being honest, he didn’t just like his boss, he admired him. It was pathetic, he thought. Most days he’d live vicariously through him.

Sometimes he would lay on his bed at night, picturing himself to be the second lead of a romance drama that would sweep you off your feet. Everyone gets second lead fever, right? In his rem cycles, he’s handsome and hilarious and much more interesting than the main actor. He would imagine himself stretching out his rays, like the full, rising sun that he was, until they overcame the big mountain that was Johnny and reached your skin. So hot against it that you’d have to undress, remove the clothes sticking on your sweaty skin to embrace him.

He thought about your body a hundred times too many for it to be considered healthy. The curve of your ass in your pencil skirts, the little hairs on the nape of your neck that stuck out from your tight ponytails. The runs on your tights that he wished were caused by the sharpness of his fingernails. He listened to your voice carefully, all 90 Hz of it, and played it inside his head as if it was an instrument. Putting together chords and harmonies, composing a music piece of all the ways his name would sound like coming out of your lips.

Donghyuck, Donghyuck, Donghyuck

“Earth to Donghyuck? Are you listening to me?”

It was unlike him to be out of it, especially when he was around you. He blames it on skipping coffee this morning or the shade of red of your blouse that fits you so well. Either way, he had to respond, and keep the pink from flooding his cheeks further. There’s no way you could’ve known what was going on inside his head.

“Uh, yeah, yeah. So, let me get this straight. Weren’t you the one who didn’t want a relationship?”

You were upset, he could tell. After the night of the overtime, you and Johnny had indulged in a few more nights of each other’s presence, but had kept it at that. Sex. Delicious, mind blowing, porno worthy sex, but nothing more than that. And you were starting to itch for a little bit more.

Donghyuck was right, of course. You were the one who told Johnny that this wasn’t the right time in your life for any sort of commitment, especially with someone in the workplace. This was your internship, and you were determined to get a permanent position soon, that should be your first priority. Get the bag and go. There were men everywhere. But why was your heart aching for that particular one with the long hair and the caramel eyes and the flower tattoos?

“I just don’t want people at work to gossip about us, you know how they get. But seeing him so nonchalant about it gets on my nerves.”

Leaving his apartment at 2 am when he was sprawled out on his bed, in just pyjama pants and the light layer of sweat from the athletic sex you just had, hurt enough. It was a sight so beautifully hidden under his work attire that it soon became addictive, the withdrawal symptoms too intense for you to have your dose only once a week.

Donghyuck scowled when you first let out a frustrated sigh, your eyes pitifully following his boss’s silhouette around. He knew you’d never really complain about it, you were set on that promotion and you deserved it too, but it was hard not to get angry. Everything he ever wanted stood willing and ready for taking in front of Johnny’s lap, how could he not claim you?

He hated seeing you sad.

“Let’s go for a drink. I think you need it.”

Even he surprised himself with the sudden proposition, blinking back at you to gauge your reaction. You were best work buddies, sure, but you never hung out after office hours alone. It would make sense for you to refuse, Donghyuck told himself, trying to soften the blow of a potential rejection. You’re probably tired from working, or maybe you’d feel awkward to be alone with him for so long. Maybe you hated to drink, or maybe you hated him. Oh God, what if you hated him? What if you only spent time with him out of social obligat-

“Sure, sounds good. Pick me up after you’re done? Since you’re on the top floor.”

Donghyuck nodded back at you, too eagerly for his liking, the gears in his brain already trying to figure out where he should take you. You excused yourself back to your office, the small pat you gave his shoulder making him grin like an idiot.

This is not a date, he reminded himself.

He had dreamt of this moment for months now. He thought about you every time he walked past that korean bbq place, promising himself that one day he’d muster the courage to finally ask you out. This wasn’t exactly the case today, but it was as close to his imagination as possible. This is not a date.

He repeated that phrase over and over again, let it resonate inside his head. This is not a date because he is a coward and you like someone else. Was he a bad person for taking you out today? Was he taking advantage of your slight disappointment? Was that why you ever said yes in the first place? The self deprecating thoughts lit a fire in his belly and he tried to extinguish it with every shot of clear liquid that disappeared from between his full lips. Like he expected, you weren’t far behind on the drinking either, enjoying the grilled pieces of meat blissfully, moaning in satisfaction with every delicious bite.

You looked pretty before, but now, through the pink coloured glasses of intoxication, you were stunning. There was a halo of bright light surrounding you, making you look so celestial chomping on that piece of lettuce. If it was anyone else, he would pull a face of repugnance at the sight, yet Dongyuck thought that you just looked so cute, so content in that little moment and he wished he could just lean in and leave a kiss over your filled cheeks.

No, that was a dangerous thought. This is not a date, pull it together.

Donghyuck desperately tried to focus his attention somewhere else, anywhere but you would suffice. His eyes finally landed on a bowl of marinated eggs on the table, and it reminded him of the three boiled eggs he makes for breakfast every morning. He was a man of habit, following the same routine until he’d see you and you’d colour between the lines of his life, making it interesting finally. Donghyuck would fill the pot with more water than needed, just enough so that it doesn’t overflow. He liked to be closer to you than he could handle, close enough but never touching you.

Lost in his daydream, he doesn’t realise that he hasn’t talked in minutes. And when you touch his hand lightly with yours to bring him out of it, he almost feels the boiling water burning his skin.

“You’re so quiet”, you say with a chuckle, and Donghyuck makes a mental note to add this harmony to his composition, “you got drunk before I did? Are you really Lee Donghyuck?”

“Well see, I drank all this soju, so I wish I was someone else for the night.”

The statement saddened you, and you withered a little in your seat. Why did Donghyuck drink so much tonight? You came here for you to cheer up, didn’t you? Or were you so caught up in your little personal drama - that you caused yourself - that you missed hearing about his cat dying? You must offer your condolences. Did he even have a cat?

You don’t want to bring up his dead cat in case he did so you just lift your hand next to his head, and weave your fingers through his locks. He has been growing out his hair for months now, and the look might not be the most corporate-professional but it sure fit him. The ash blonde shade that he decided to colour it, brought out the tan of his skin nicely, and the hair itself though bleached was still soft to the touch.

You see him react to the work of your fingers instantly, his expression shocking you. His mouth is hanging open in a loose ‘O’ shape, small wrinkles forming on the space between his eyebrows. You pick out small pieces of hair, one by one, letting gravity do the rest by allowing the individual hairs to return to their previous state.

“What are you thinking about?”, you ask so softly it’s almost a whisper, and Donghyuck can only sigh.

YOU, he wants to scream, you’re in my mind all day long and I think I’m going crazy! He is full on staring at you now and there’s nothing in the world that can take his eyes off of you, off your worried eyes that seem to hold all the stars in the sky, or the soft skin of your neck that he wants to kiss and suck and break so badly. But he doesn’t, and the soju calls him a coward for it, so he settles for the next best thing.

“You are pretty”

It was just three words but they sent your mind in a frenzy. Why did it matter so much to you that Donghyuck found you pleasing to look at? He has complimented you before, even flirted with you a lot of times, yet it was always said half-jokingly, followed by a diss. But this time he was serious, no signs of alcohol clouding his eyes. He was so solemn in fact, that those three words made the heat burn on the skin of your cheeks, rising up your throat and hindering you from responding with a human sound.

He takes one more shot, washing away the embarrassment of his sudden confession and offers to order one more fatty dish to sober up, then take a walk in the city.

The walk was relatively quiet, less awkward than it was 30 minutes ago but Donghyuck was still being uncharacteristically silent.

“I thought you said that alcohol doesn’t make you red”, you say teasingly, trying to spark conversation.

It doesn’t actually. You were the culprit of the wash of burgundy all over his skin, accumulating even more pigmented around his ears and the freckles of his nose. You were walking side by side now, and Donghyuck thought that for the passersby you two must look like lovers. He let his brain entertain that fantasy, his hand itching to hold yours. He’d intertwine your fingers together, give your palm a little rub with his thumb. Then he’d lift the bundle of fingers on his lips, kiss the thin skin of your wrist and make the aunties that are looking at you now coo in adoration.

“Says you. You look so fucked right now.”, he jokes and you’re relieved to see him go back to his teasing self. You don’t know if it’s the chilly night, but you’re overly aware of the heat his body emits, and the smell of his cologne makes your head spin just a bit more. You’ve been sitting so close to him this entire time that you can list off most, if not all, the ingredients in his perfume. Rose, chilly pepper, orange blossom, lavender.

“Donghyuck, I will step on you.”

“Mmm, tempting”

You shove his arm playfully and he reciprocates, but his strength is not as controlled as he thinks. The heels of your boots, slippery against the wet floor that the drizzle caused earlier, make you trip on your steps, and Hyuck is luckily there. With his quick reflexes he catches your elbows first, pulling you up against his chest and you grab his left bicep to support your weight.

You take a deep breath, to register that you did not fall head first on the floor, and that’s when you realise how close Donghyuck is to you. His bangs are tickling your forehead, your deep pants fanning them apart. You admire his glowing skin, the wrinkles of his lips, the two moles lined parallelly with the bridge of his nose. You’re not sure what comes to you, but you raise your free hand and place it over his hot cheek, your thumb connecting those two moles with an invisible line. A raindrop, fresh out of the sky and signifying the start of a new drizzle, falls on his face and follows the trail that a tear would, his voice weak and breaking when he speaks again.

“I’m sorry”

He dips down his head then, connecting your lips and letting the plumpness of his mouth reel you in. You’re over the initial shock almost immediately and kiss him back in vigor, surprised with the heat his kiss has spread to your chest and belly. It was an ember at first, glowing in the very depth of your insides but it was soon starting to spark up uncontrollably, and you were scared of how rapidly it was fueling up. This was your friend you were kissing. So where did all this hunger for him come from?

You pull back when you realise you’re in a road full of people, and you can’t bring yourself to look at him in the eyes. Donghyuck looks disheveled and anxious, and he apologizes again before he urges you to keep walking with him.

“It’s starting to rain. We should get home.”

You walk next to him in complete silence now, stealing quick glances of his reflexion at every surface that made it possible - the windows of the parked cars, the puddles of water on the sidewalk, a passersby’s glasses. The look on his face is unreadable, pensive if anything else, and it’s rare for the expressive Donghyuck you’re used to dealing with. Your homes are towards the same direction, his a little closer than yours, and it doesn’t take too long for you to reach the entrance of his building, your clothes not even half wet from walking without umbrellas.

Donghyuck fumbles to find his keys, his hands shaking from the adrenaline his body released from the kiss earlier, the feeling still too fresh against his lips. He stresses thinking of what to do next. Should he hug you goodnight? Apologize again for kissing you? Unlock the entrance without a word and never speak to you again?

“I’m here”, he states dumbly, as if you’d sit at the porch of a strange house and he avoids your eyes as if you were Medusa, “Goodnight.”

You smile back awkwardly at him, waving with a hand made of clay as you wish him the same. He has turned around to unlock the door, key already at the keyhole and you turn to leave too when his voice stills you in place.

“He’s an idiot.” His back is still facing you, and when he turns to look at you his eyes finally lock with yours, as honest and earnest as ever. “Johnny. If it were me, hell, if you wanted me like that I would grab that opportunity- grab you in an instant, convince you to be mine any way I could.”

You’re stuck looking at him like a fool, trying to comprehend what he’s saying and the complications of it. He puffs out through his nose, chuckling to himself and shaking his head.

“It doesn’t matter. Goodnight y/n.”

Donghyuck is half inside the entrance now and your body suddenly exits its frozen state, blocking the door from closing with your boot. He’s shocked with the sudden movement and he opens up the door further for you. You get inside the little hall without thinking, sitting firmly in front of him, a puzzled look on his face.

“What if I told you he hasn’t even crossed my mind this whole time we were out? What if I told you I haven’t stopped thinking about you since you kissed me? Would it matter then?”

He opens his mouth momentarily, as if to speak but decides to stay silent. He already said everything he needed. It’s up to you now.

And you aren’t ready to leave yet.

You take a step forward to close the distance between you, your chests touching and you pick up the distinct smell of soju in his breath. You’re not sure if it’s that smell or the proximity but you feel drunk all over again, the yellow light of the hall shining disturbingly bright down at you and urging you to do something.

You plant a kiss over his neck, leaving a trace of the remnants of the pink lipstick you applied at the start of the workday. It was tentative, but you could still feel his raging pulse from under your lips. You could feel it get faster too, the rhythm going higher along with his body temperature and you decide on a path. A path of kisses starting from the same spot you’ve turned glittery pink, up his jawline and all the way to his earlobe.

Donghyuck clenches his jawline, you feel that too, and something snaps inside him. He just can’t take it anymore, having you so close to him, your lips on his neck and doing nothing about it. The boiling water finally spilled over the pot, hot and overflowing, and he doesn’t care if he gets burned.

You feel the cool wood against your back before you taste his tongue a second after. He has pushed you up against the entrance door, you realize, but it’s hard to comprehend anything around you when he kisses you like that. It’s the steamy, purposeful continuation of the kiss you shared earlier, and with the lack of prying eyes Donghyuck has a good idea of where he wants it to lead.

He shows you too, pushing his knee between your thighs and he feels your heat almost melt the rough fabric of his jeans. There are so many things he wants to do, so many lines he wants to cross but there is one thing he must ensure.

“Tell me you want this.”

You glide your hands upwards from his pecks to the slope of his neck and wrap them around his neck. Your body seems to act up on its own, and you feel yourself grinding down his leg that is still positioned against the wall. It feels dirty, the desperation of it all, and you connect your chest with his again before answering him.

“Lee Donghyuck. I want you to make me cum”

You grab his hand before he gets to respond, the cool silver of his watch digging against your fingers, and you drag him to the elevator door. As if the universe had sensed your urgency, you find it waiting for you at the bottom floor, and you pull him inside with a tug of his tie.

In no time you find yourself pushed up against the wall again, and you can’t see much beyond Donghyuck’s lips, but you do catch him clumsily pressing the button to his floor with your peripheral vision. Once the elevator is in motion you feel like you can finally submerge yourself in his lips and the way his kisses take your breath away, not sure if the funny feeling in your stomach is from the sudden change in altitude or the arousal. You’re already taking his clothes off, removing the jacket of his suit off his shoulders and working the top buttons of his shirt open.

It’s him that drags you to his apartment this time, urging you out of the elevator as soon as the robotic declaim of his floor number rips through the wet sounds of you kissing. His keys are already easily accessible in his front pocket from your conversation earlier, and when he manages to unlock the entrance with trembling hands you walk inside as if you own the place.

It’s small and cozy, decorated minimally. The first thing you notice is that it smells like Donghyuck, something that should be obvious but it still overwhelms you. It’s maybe a bit stuffy from the hours he was gone yet this is the smell still lingering in your nose from his skin you were sucking just moments ago, trying to distract him from the easy task of opening the door. It’s addictive and you want it stuck on yours.

And Donghyuck does stick on your skin, discarding his tie on the floor with a strong pull and finishing the task of unbuttoning his shirt that you started in the elevator. His movements are impatient and soon he’s half naked, and you barely have time to admire his caramel skin before his hands are all over you. They start safely at the dimples of your waist, then sliding upwards to your ribcage and copping a feel of the underside of your boobs by sneaking his thumbs under the wire of your bra. You want to feel more, encourage his probing fingers so you reach to the clasp on your back, unfastening the garment and removing it through the hem of your blouse.

Donghyuck can’t take his eyes off your chest, nipples hardened from your arousal and poking through the thin fabric. He takes his thumbs, the same thumbs that lit a fire in your belly earlier and flips the bud, toying it around and rubbing circles around it. The response from you is immediate, moans that start off soft and build up to a crescendo bouncing off the walls of his apartment.

It drives you crazy, a little bit, that smirk he has on his face now. It’s so familiar in between his features, you’ve seen it countless of times, especially during his typical teasings of you, yet is carries so much newfound weight now, so much sex appeal. He’s already giving you what you need but the climaxing is too slow for your liking, you want more and you want it now. You want what you asked him for in the lobby of this building.

Donghyuck can either read your mind or read through the increased frequency of your moans because he undresses down to his boxers, forming a trail of clothes from his living room to his bedroom, where he has led you. He doesn’t even bother to open the lights, relying on the moonlight from his window for lighting and pushing you down on his bedsheets.

He climbs up with you, hovering over you and you move back a bit so that your head rests comfortably over his pillows. If the smile he gave you earlier had affected you, then the hungry look on his face right now almost makes you come untouched, his eyes raking up and down your body as if he doesn’t know where to start.

He decides on your calves, kissing them and moving upwards slowly and sensually, not missing the sensitive skin on the side of your knees and paying extra attention to your inner thighs. He’s still at it a minute and a half later, and you can’t tell in the dark but you’re sure they must be decorated by bite marks by now, his close proximity to the source of your pleasure making you squirm in his hold.

It feels like ages since you last felt his fingers when he grips the soft meat of your thighs and spreads them apart. They soon move up to the hem of your skirt, rolling the fabric upwards and over your ass. You feel his breath against your pussy, making it tingle and twitch even more than it already has, and the wait feels like a new level of hell in Dante’s Inferno.

A single finger pets you over your underwear, drawing lines over the damp fabric from your clit down to your entrance and then up again. You whimper and whine at the sensation that is half a step from what you consider satisfactory and he hooks a finger on the black lace, moving it to the side and letting you experience the cool air of the room all over again. The full exposure brings heat to your face and you breathe through the embarrassment that arouses you even more.

“Hey, Donghyuck?”

“Yes?”

“Is your cat still alive?”

“What the fuck are you talking about?”

He licks one long stripe over your entrance, and you feel the goosebumps spreading all over your arms and legs. Nimble fingers spread your folds apart, and you hold your breath as he lets his cool spit drip from his lips and land onto your lower ones, then starts sucking over your clit. His tongue is wet and his breath is hot, the combination driving you insane. You grip the comforter, digging into it with your nails to keep yourself grounded.

“Oh my god, yes, right there”

The praise motivates him to keep trying hard, not that it will take a lot of effort to make you come undone. Donghyuck’s unprecedented touches and the newfound sexual tension they have ignited had already worked you up, his skill in oral accelerating the build up to your climax even more. And just when you thought it couldn’t get better than this he starts a series of kitten licks right over your clit, each one sending a wave of pleasure stronger than the one before.

“Fuck, I’m gonna cum”

You’re grinding on his face, trying to find the right pace when you finally come undone, thighs shaking and desperately trying to push his hands away to cover up your sensitivity again. His hold is steady and he continues to lick you keenly, the lewd sound of him slurping your wetness filling the room. Your eyes open wide and you can only stare at his white ceiling during your overstimulation, the cracks and crumbling plaster caused from humidity looking like constellations in your orgasm-drunk mind. The second climax hits you suddenly but forcefully, unable to control the volume of your voice, not that you can hear yourself clearly in your daze. It’s an array of moans and screams and tiny whimpers of Donghyuck’s name, his beautiful symphony coming to life.

His appetite for you is finally satiated, and he decides to take mercy on you and remove his lips from your pulsating heat. You look so beautiful right now, he thinks, skin illuminated by the pale moonlight that is reflected on the wetness dripping from your pussy. He hovers over you again, pulling you into another kiss and you lazily reciprocate. His member is painfully hard, sliding over your slickness. You squirm and yelp everytime the fabric of his underwear grazes against your clit, your nerve endings screaming in sensitivity.

“I don’t have a condom on me”, you whisper against his lips, the taste of yourself on his tongue engaging you in the kiss again.

“I’m too tired to fuck you like you deserve anyways”

It would be criminal from you to leave him untouched like that. He looks so hot over you, messy hair and chin glistening in your juices. You absentmindedly place your nails on his collarbones, then scratch your way down over his navel. Donghyuck hisses at the numb stinging of pain, hips buckling against your pussy in the pursuit of some sort of friction.

You move your hand even lower, slipping your fingers past the waistband of his boxers. You move past the bristles you find and grasp his member, that is not too long but an impressive girth. You manage to free it from his underwear, and you can’t really tell in the dim lighting but you bet it must have turned a purple-ish red colour. It’s leaking.

“But we don’t have a condom”

You take one of his hands in yours, giving it a kiss to calm him down, then place it over your left boob. He toys with the mound of your chest, squeezing the softness. You had other plans for him.

Connecting your knees together, you let the softness of your thighs connect, with only maybe a slither of space between them. Your hands are still on Donghyuck’s cock and you reach to hold his balls, massaging them slightly and pulling him towards you.

He takes your cue and leans forward, sliding himself between your thighs. The moan he lets out is guttural and elongated, laced with the beautiful metallic tone of his voice. He lets go of your breasts and wraps his arms around your knees, putting your calves on each of his shoulders and continues to rut his hips against you.

“Fuck. This feels so good”

You look up to see Donghyuck’s face, contorted in a frown that can only be described as desperate, his lips puffy and red from all the licking and kissing and sucking.

He looks painfully sexy, and you momentarily imagine all the things you would do to him if the serotonin of your double orgasm and the alcohol in your belly weren’t weighing you down. You’d gladly stay up all night for him, tugging on his long hair as you’d let him bend you in any position he wanted. You bet that thickness would feel amazing stretching you out and you moan at the thought, your thighs flexing involuntarily and making him moan even more.

Soon he has picked up his pace, the tip of his cock reappearing between your thighs more frequently and you can feel his thrusts getting sloppier by the second.

“Fuck fuck, I’m coming”

He suddenly pushes forward, almost collapsing on top of you as a string of satisfactory groans leave his lips. His hips still with a stagger and you entrancingly watch the ropes of white dripping from his cock and landing on your blouse. It was a mess, but you can worry about it in the morning.

Donghyuck fucks your thighs slowly for a little longer, elongating his pleasure for as long as he can and soothing the crescent moons his nails formed on your skin with his fingertips. He reaches one hand to his bedroom floor where he finds a -what you hope is- clean t-shirt, and pats his cum off your blouse as best as he could.

It has gotten late and you’re both exhausted, Donghyuck’s comfortable weight on top of you lulling you to sleep. He’s hugging your hips now, head resting on your stomach and occasionally kissing your hip bones tenderly. You’re not sure when you slip out of consciousness but you do hear Donghyuck mumble something against your skin, something the kiss of Morpheus doesn’t allow you to make out.

You wake up to a white ceiling. Not just any white ceiling- a cracked, full of moisture pockets ceiling and you wonder when you let the humidity mess up your apartment this much. The culprit of your awakening, the morning sun rays that shine right on your eyes; way too bright than what you’re used to, force your eyelids to open, and it takes you a moment to adjust to the abundant light. This isn’t your apartment.

The sight of a man that greets your barely recovered rentinas shocks you, and you rub your eyes just in case you’re stuck in a lucid dream or something. You see the mess of ash blonde hair and the pile of work clothes discarded on the floor and your mind soon is flooded with last night’s events, buzzed out in your foggy memory. You sense another buzz as well, a physical one this time and you wiggle in place when you feel something hard and metallic digging in your butt. You prod a little with your fingers, trying not to wake up Donghyuck too abruptly and you realise that yes, you’ve been sitting on a phone all night.

Shouldn’t it be a Tuesday today? It’s very bright for it to be that early but surely Donghyuck must have set an alarm for the both of you last night. You yawn involuntarily, deciding to play with your phone until he wakes up as well when the bright white display pulls all the blood from your face.

8:40. You have to be at work in 20 minutes.

“Donghyuck! Hyuck!”

You didn’t care to make your touches light. They were shoves, really, pushing at his shoulders frantically to get him off of you and pull him out of his slumber. He wakes up with a gasp, trying desperately to keep his balance and failing, to then fall unceremoniously on the floor.

“What the hell?”, he groans out with a hoarse, groggy version of his voice, “My head is pounding”

“It will hurt even more once I’m done with you! You didn’t set an alarm last night? Today’s a work day!’

With his eyes bulging, he launches himself forward, grabbing the phone from your hands.

“Shit, shit, shit”. He’s fully awake now, hands rubbing his face to come up with the next logical steps to take, in order to have you both at work on time and looking presentable. “I have a mouthwash and hairbrush in my bathroom, I’ll get ready here”

“And what the fuck am I supposed to wear?”

“Yesterday’s clothes? Are you really that concerned about recycling an outfit right now?”

You roll your eyes, pushing your blouse down and dragging his comforter off your body.

“Did you forget about this?”

You straighten out the fabric for him to see, and the big, grossly dried out cum stains aren’t hard to notice. His face looks worried, but not necessarily apologetic, and you can almost see the scenes from the sex you shared last night play through his eyes like a porn film.

“Your skirt is fine, right? I’ll find a shirt that fits you”

You’re spitting out the fluorescent blue liquid when he timorously walks in the bathroom to leave the piece of clothing he promised. It smells heavily of those moth-repellent sachets and looks slightly wrinkled, like something he pulled out from the depths of his closet but you don’t really have the privilege of playing Suzy Menkes right now. You pull and tuck the fabric in creative ways, in order to style the garment into something you might walk into work wearing one day, yet it’s painfully obvious to you how misfitted it is; too big around the shoulders as one would expect from a man’s shirt.

You exit the bathroom after giving up, pressed by the limited time and the sound of Donghyuck’s uneasy steps through the door. You let him freshen up as well and use the time to collect your things that are scattered all over his place - he was kind enough to bring you your bra that was discarded in his living room floor along with his shirt - and soon you were rushing out of his house and into separate cabs so as not to raise suspicion.

The rest of the day was normal, well- according to this new definition of normalcy for you. Where everything and everyone seems to follow this movie script of what a typical company must look like, while you worry that someone will probe uninvitedly into your thoughts. God knows what they would fish out. A broken record player of Donghyuck’s moans when he cums, the burn of his thick sex rubbing against your thighs, the paths of his neck veins you memorized by heart.

You shake your head to clear it from the intrusive thoughts, and click the refresh button of your emails. The sound of keys being tapped and printers being put to use lands you back to reality, and you calmly click on the new incoming message from the Sales Department.

It was Johnny.

You’d think that after having his dick down your throat for about half a minute, getting butterflies in your stomach from the mere sight of his email address would stop being a recurring event for you. But alas, here they were, tapping their little wings in a flutter that turns into a hurricane of anxiety, and you sarcastically thank the universe for having to deal with Johnny while looking like an 80’s librarian.

You walk up the stairs like your ankle’s dragging a ball and a chain, the piece of paper in your hands getting slightly ripped from the abuse of your nervous fingers. It was a stupid document, barely half filled with any valuable information and you think it can’t be worth the calories you burned with that trip. It certainly wasn’t worth entering hell, aka mr. Suh’s office, and just the thought of him waiting for you in his fitted suit and gelled back hair is making you light headed. If Johnny was Hades then Donghyuck definitely was Cerberus, guarding his boss with his three heads and his big dick.

You leave a breath out when you realise he isn’t there, making your way onto Johnny’s office with lighter feet. He smiles brightly when he sees you, handsome as ever, and you carefully leave the document on his messy desk.

“Well, isn’t it my favourite intern”

You laugh at his sing-song tone, enjoying how warm he was being today.

“You used to avoid me like the plague and now I’m your favourite?”

“You always were my favourite”, he winks, and pushes back his hair like he knows the effect it has on you, “If someone is avoiding anyone like the plague that’s Donghyuck. I would have sent him to you but I can’t find him anywhere.”

You gulp dryly at his words, an invisible awl pinching your chest. You could feel Donghyuck slipping away from every place that you might share, in a very subtle way, but still noticeable from you. He left the kitchen hastily when you walked in to make your coffee, excused himself out of the lunch break through which you always kept him company, and now he was gone as well. Was last night such a big mistake in his point of view?

“I’m kidding, I just wanted to see you.”

He motions you to come closer and you timidly oblige, serenaded by the sound of his voice but not missing the hunger his eyes hold. He’s still seated in his big leather office chair, thighs spread out in a way that turned you on embarrassingly much, and you fit yourself in the space between his long legs.

“He is very jumpy though, Donghyuck. Do you know what happened to him?”

Your whole body tenses up, muscles hardening defensively. “Why would I know?”

“I don’t know. It’s just that you guys are so close.”

Close. Close as in having his knee between your thighs, close as in being pushed up against his chest and the elevator mirror. Close as in knowing how his tongue feels massaging your clit.

“Have I seen you in that before?”

You’re confused with the sudden question and when you search for the context you realise he’s talking about your- Donghyuck’s shirt. Did he smell the sex on you? The overwhelming scent of pheromones and Donghyuck’s cologne that your nose just couldn’t ignore?

“I don’t think so”, you try to answer as nonchalantly as possible, “it’s new.”

“No”, Johnny insists, and pinches the fabric with his fingers. He’s very knowledgeable about fashion, always complimenting you on your outfit choices and you know he wouldn’t let this one go so easily. “I’m sure I’ve seen this before.”

You follow his line of sight towards the ivory fabric too, as if you expected there to be written “YOUR ASSISTANT GAVE ME THE BEST HEAD OF MY LIFE LAST NIGHT”, in a bright red marker. It was a prison, in the form of 99% cotton and 1% pure anxiety, and you know you had to distract Johnny out of this subject one way or the other.

“You like it?”, you ask seductively, tucking a stray piece of hair behind his ear.

“I’d like you better without it.”

With just one strong, yet calculated pull he has you sat over the length of his thigh. Your hands land on his chest for stability, right over his pecks that fill your palms easily. There’s nothing you want more than to suck on those perfectly sculpted lips of his, but you’re not too faithful on Donghyuck’s mouthwash so you settle for the earlobe that isn’t pierced instead.

He loves the feeling, the activation of his erogenous area and the suction of your lips that resembles one of your favourite activities together.

“I like this shirt”, he starts, unbuttoning your chest into plain view, “and I love this skirt”

He runs his big hands over the plumpless of your ass, squeezing it then retracting his fingers back on your thighs. They’re cold against your burning skin and the contrast causes goosebumps to erupt in the shape of his handprint.

“You love all my skirts Johnny”

“I do. Because I can do this”

His fingers roll the hem of your skirt up your thigh, the only thing separating your heat with the smooth fabric of his slacks being your skimpy underwear. You’re pretty sure the wetness must be transferring to it already, your thoughts of Donghyuck and all the things he could do with you having you desperate for a release. Johnny pets your clit over your panties then, just a light graze of his finger that elicits a moan from you.

Your hips move on their own, slowly humping his thigh that flexes from under you. You grab his tie to help your movement when your pace picks up, enjoying his body heat that coated you.

“Someone might see us.”

His desk chair was large, sure, but so was Johnny, and even though his back was facing the door of his office, no one could mistake the sight of you riding him as anything else.

“I told you, Donghyuck keeps disappearing. And it seems like it won’t take you too long to cum with the way you moan like that, right babe?”

“Johnny…”

You were a whiny mess at this point, humping his leg to reach your high. He was nice enough to help you, his hands guiding you as you mess up all over him, lips stuck on the patch of skin right under your ear.

“You know, I kind of miss you calling me Mr. Suh.” he whispers as he’s sucking on your neck, and you shiver at the tone of his voice, “What do I have to do next time you come over to have you call me like that?”

You can’t contain your whimpers anymore, the stinging tears of arousal threatening to roll down your face, so you close your eyes to keep the moisture in. Everything is just too much, the pleasure of your clit rubbing on him, his nails that dig in the flesh of your hips, the heavy suggestions in his words; your orgasm was hanging by a thread and it was a matter of seconds for it to snap. And it did snap, with a bite on your neck, and along with it your eyes snapped open as well.

Donghyuck was staring right back at you.

Your eyes crossed in pleasure, blurry vision making it hard to focus on him. You were falling apart over Johnny’s body, legs shaking and insides melting with his praise. Donghyuck took the sight in from the opened door, eyes studying your face of pleasure and bare chest decorated with Johnny’s kisses peeking from his own shirt. You’d be lying had you dismissed the fact that his presence intensified your orgasm times a hundred. The exposure of your act, the naughtiness of getting caught and by him of all people. You watched as he retreated outside from the office with silent steps, to give you privacy or recover from the embarrassment or both.

And Donghyuck would be lying too, had he said he didn’t like the sight. The mere memory of your face all fucked out flushed his own in crimson red. He remembered it all clearly, from your plush lips to Johnny’s mess of a hair, to the tremble of your body. It refused to leave his mind, the scene of you getting satisfaction from another man, but not because he wanted to erase it. He thought he fit right in, right in that scene between you and his boss.

You texted him later that day, apologizing for what he had to witness and promising him you would return the shirt as soon as you washed it. He politely allowed you to keep it, not at all acknowledging the incident from earlier, nor the night you spent together. You didn’t have the guts to ask, for you didn’t know that Donghyuck didn’t regard last night as a mistake, like you thought. He was tired of boiling in the guilt of his feelings, selfishly admitting to himself that he did not regret a single thing. He was into you, he meant every word that came out of his mouth, so why was he avoiding you all day yesterday? He was still the fucking coward.

The next day came rolling along, and with it came a long list of things you wanted to avoid. The first one was arguably dealing with your best friend, the lengthy paperwork you had to fill out being a close second.

Your mind was occupied with a plethora of thoughts, with Johnny holding the main spot. You’d seen him in your sleep last night, starring in the extremely detailed wet dream your brain fabricated for you, hot breaths and deep thrusts forcing you into the disappointing consciousness of today’s morning.

And the pictures he had sent you right after you decided to get up weren’t helping either. His tall, half naked build occupied most of the shot, skin glistening in the after-shower steam. His toothbrush was hanging from his foamy mouth, in an attempt to make the picture look nonchalant, yet you knew his motives. You let your eyes drink up the sight of his defined abdomen, then moved downwards along the dark happy trail that peeked from the towel, loosely hanging from his waist. Hip bones teasing you and all. Just drop the fucking towel Johnny.

Needless to say, you were a mess when you arrived at the office. The cats in heat outside of your window, the phallic shaped baguette your baker generously treated you with this morning; everything seemed to remind you of the heat between your legs that you couldn’t bring yourself to ignore. You tried rubbing your thighs, drowning in the paperwork, even locking your phone in one of your drawers so as not to be tempted to look at Johnny’s thirst trap again. But he had won.

You grab a bunch of documents that seemed important enough, shove them in your favourite binder, and make your way to Johnny’s office upstairs.

You knew you had to deal with Donghyuck. It was the unavoidable repercussion of messing up your life like that, getting men that were too good looking for this boring ass company tangled up in what seemed to be a simple internship. Taking a deep breath, then two more for good measure, you start to strut confidently in a straight line that led to Johnny’s office door.

“He’s on call, come back later.”

Your head instinctively turns to the source of the sound, to find Donghyuck staring at the display of his laptop that seemed to be much more interesting than you. The matter-of-fact way he formed his sentences was not unlike him, yet something in you begged for a little bit of attention. Blame it on how horny you’ve been all morning, or the fact that now that you’ve seen him naked, the strict tone affects you much more than it should.

Bothered by your thoughts and thinking about having to sit back at your office for the rest of the work day, you let the binder slip from your hands and drop on the wooden floor. You lean down to collect the scattered pieces of paper, your heels making it hard for you to keep your balance easily, and soon enough you sense a movement from behind you.

“No panties huh?”

It was supposed to be a surprise. Payback for the dirty thoughts Johnny planted in your head this morning. You’d walk in all innocently, sit right across his desk and give him a little Basic Instinct Sharon Stone moment. Then leave him high and dry again, while mentally keeping a note to clear out all your plans for the weekend. But see, he couldn’t give you what you wanted after all, and your resolve started to break. Whatever it was you wanted, you wanted it now.

You get up, unfolding your body slowly and refusing to look at Donghyuck, much like he did when you walked inside. The smirk playing on your lips couldn’t be concealed through your voice.

“Like what you see?”

You gasp as he presses up against you, the only contact you have with one another being his hard-on that nudges your ass. Following your body’s orders, you push back against him too, and you can tell the breath he lets out is ragged and full of tension.

He reaches for your binder with an arm around you, flipping through the pages as he sucks his teeth in disapproval.

“These are last week’s reports. Are you really here for these or are you looking for another quickie with Johnny?” A moan escapes you then, and the little thrust that Donghyuck allows himself drives you both crazy. “Thought so. How insatiable are you? I made you cum two nights ago, Johnny helped you out yesterday. If you really are that desperate you could’ve just come to me for help, doll”

His soft palm rests on the front of your thigh, slowly sliding his way under your skirt. You squirm in his hold in anticipation, and you have to bite your tongue to hold in the noises that threaten to leave you.

“Donghyuck, Johnny is sitting right through that door. He could come out any minute now and see us”

“And?”

“Your boss is sitting right through that door. You could get fired”

“I could die after this”

His thumb ficks your clit swiftly, and Donghyuck takes this opportunity to slip his other one inside your gaping mouth.

“But-“

“Shh. Don’t talk with your mouth full, baby”

You’re melting in his hold at this point, your back still resting against his chest, lips sucking his digit. The scent of his cologne that you’ve grown so familiar with overwhelms you, painting all your surroundings in a red tint of lust.

“Spread your legs for me”. You oblige with his orders immediately, your arousal not allowing you to keep him waiting. “Wider”.

You take a quick look behind your shoulder to check that the door is still, indeed, closed, only to be met face to face with Donghyuck. His breath is hot against your face, eyes locked on his thumb toying with your lower lip and you completely forget what you initially turned around for. The kiss was natural, your lips melding easily with his ones. The need for him washes over you like a heatwave and you lift your skirt to urge him to continue before you go insane.

He gets the hint and moves his hand lower, middle finger tracing your opening ever so slightly. It makes you shiver and you realise how quiet the room has fallen, the only source of sound coming muffled through the closed door to Johnny’s office. It excites you and it must show through the wetness between your lower lips, and Donghyuck patiently collects it all. He transfers the moisture over the bud of your clit, his finger smoothly massaging the sensitive skin. It feels divine and there’s no way you’d ask him to stop yet you know there’s something else Donghyuck is after, the sweet tightness that he didn’t get to experience that night at his apartment.

It was a bit much to fuck you out there like that, even for his exhibitionistic tendencies, but nothing could stop him from feeling the next best thing.

His first finger enters you unhurriedly, careful of your reactions. You moan out his name and he moans at how tight you are, soft pussy practically sucking his finger in. He soon enters his ring finger as well, slowly moving them inside you until you feel every stretch and curl. Your wetness starts to drip at this point, coating his fingers with your juices.

“Such a dirty girl, making all this mess at my office”

The leisure pace ruins you, your eyes shut close in search of patience. You feel his other palm move from under your skirt as well, resting flat against your lower abdomen. He wants to feel himself inside you.

“Donghyuck, please. More”

A chuckle is heard from your left ear, and you can vividly imagine how his face must look like now. The cocky smirk, the tongue poking the inside of his cheek. The next pump has you muffling your whimpers with the back of your fist, his fingers curling just right and fucking straight into your g-spot.

“More? Look at you. Pretty slut.”

He’s full on finger fucking you now, and swallowing your moans is gradually becoming more and more difficult. The world crumbles from under your feet and you let yourself get carried away in the intense pleasure, the fast pumping making your legs shake.

“You’re gonna cum?”, he whispers again, and you can only respond with a nod, “That’s my fucking girl”

The orgasm’s intense, shaking you as you bite your hand and hold onto Donghyuck for extra support. He continues to move his fingers afterwards, drawing out your euphoria for as long as he can, then finally leaves you empty once your moans have died down. You immediately cover yourself up again once you sober up from your high, suddenly embarrassed by Donghyuck’s intense stare. He’s moving his eyes through all the features of your face, only for them to fall frozen on your lips, and lifts his hand up to rest his two fingers over them. You get his initiative and put them in your mouth, tasting yourself on your tongue.

“Unless you want us both to get fired I think you should go back to your office. I don’t think I can contain myself around you”

You release his digits with a pop, your eyes full of seduction.

“What would you do to me?”

Donghyuck growls at your question, turning you around so that you’re fully face to face and chest to chest.

“You’d look so pretty on your knees, mouth full of cock”. He grabs a handful of your ass, bringing you flush against him and proceeds to grind his painfully hard dick between your thighs. Your noses touch and you feel dizzy at the proximity; the words he mutters against your cum coated lips. “I’d peel those clothes off of you, find the nearest mirror. Stretch you out against the glass so that you see how good you take it.”

You shiver as a response, then force yourself to put some distance between you before you do something stupid. He kindly helps you collect your things in silence, those useless documents that were laying scattered on the floor, and in a moment of weakness you let him pin you against the wall right before you go.There was something so addictive about him and your chemistry, and your lips burn at the memory of his kisses. You’re not sure how much longer you can contain that hunger anymore.

The end of a shift and the beginning of another overtime. It felt like deja vu at this point, after all the countless extra hours you’ve put into the internship, seeing people grab their briefcases and their car keys as they empty the space around you. You take a moment to appreciate the view of the setting sun from the small window of your office, inhaling deeply as you wrap the hair that’s been bothering you in a ponytail. Your neck hurts and the tension of your body is translating into a dull pain, so you stretch it a little, bobbing your head from side to side.

You jump a little in your seat when you feel a set of hands on your shoulder blades. They massage the sore spots, treating the muscle knots and helping your blood flow freely. It was obvious Donghyuck didn’t have enough of you earlier, and you pout at having to turn down another visit to his apartment because of your overtime duties.

You were ready to scold him off, tell him you’re busy and that you promise to make it up for him another time, when you feel his soft lips kissing the most sensitive spot on the slope of your neck. You let out a long sigh, subconsciously exposing your neck more for him, and a high pitched whine rumbles in your chest. It’s released as a moan of Donghyuck’s name.

“Donghyuck?!”

You freeze in the uncomfortable arch, your ears confused by the deepness of the voice belonging to the man behind you. Not even the confusion laced in it can cover up the lack of airiness and clarity you’re used to when it comes to Donghyuck’s tone. It’s Johnny.

“I… We-“

You’re left speechless, clueless as to what to say next. You know you don’t have to explain yourself, it’s not like you and Johnny are exclusive. Yet his shocked face at the sound of his assistant’s name coming so lewdly off your lips has your brain scrambling to find some sort of explanation. Thankfully, he’d interrupt your panic in a second.

“The big boss wants you upstairs. I offered to come get you.”

He doesn’t sound angry or upset, nor disappointed. It’s a fresh air of relief before you realize that this is not what you should worry about right now. What the hell does the CEO of the company want to talk to you about? Are you getting the boot? It must be it, but why? Your numbers have been great, you’re always on time - except that one morning, but technically it was Donghyuck’s fault - and you’ve been praised by your supervisor numerous times during your internship.

Unless- What if there’s cameras in the office?

You start to panic at the thought of an involuntary sex tape become the cause of your dismissal, so caught up in your thoughts that you’re completely unaware you’ve spent the entire trip up the stairs with Johnny in silence. When you enter the CEO’s office, heartbeat echoing loudly in your ears, you notice that all of the department’s supervisors are present in the impromptu meeting as well. You sit next to Johnny, in an attempt to calm yourself down, and you see the head of your department send you an encouraging smile.

“Shall we start?”

A briefing of your work in the company ensued, numbers and graphs that wouldn’t make sense to anyone other than the people in the room. Thirty minutes have passed and no surveillance tape has been whipped out, turning you more confused than ever. The numbers were good, the words from your supervisor are complimentary, so why would they fire you?

“That is all for the briefing. After seeing your progress and the contribution you’ve made to the company, we’ve decided to offer you a permanent position, if you’d be interested of course”

Oh my god. You can’t believe this day finally came. Your face was glowing, and you tried to convince yourself to stay calm while you talked about your new position and the raise in salary that came with it. With shaky hands you sign the documents, and your boss congratulates you once again, dismissing you off your overtime.

You waited for everyone to leave the hallway before jumping in Johnny’s arms. He caught you easily, strong build supporting you and lifting your feet off the ground before landing you safely again.

“Good job intern, I’m so proud of you”

“Hey, I’m not an intern anymore!”, you complain by bumping his chest with your fist and he pats your head lovingly in return.

“Why did you have to be in the room as well? Did you know about my promotion?”

“No, actually, they just told me an hour ago. It was hard to keep myself from telling you everything right away.”

The excitement coursed through you, and a sudden urge to kiss him until your lips were numb overwhelmed you. You were ready to turn your thoughts into reality, when you saw Donghyuck from the corner of your eye, instinctively smiling at your obvious happiness.

“What’s the occasion?”

“I got promoted!”

Donghyuck gasped, a huge smile spreading across his face. Your excitement’s contentious so he tackles you without a second thought, his embrace so tight that you can barely breathe. You can see that he’s trying his best to contain a kiss, his glance moving back and forth between you and Johnny. He still kept a possessive hand around your waist once he let you down however, a gesture that could seem innocent yet you knew better.

Johnny smirks at the sight of you two, confidence dripping off his body and making you shiver. You get dizzy at the thought of Donghyuck not knowing that Johnny knows about you, yet Donghyuck knowing about Johnny but not giving a fuck.

“So how do we celebrate?”, the older man asks, with a playful tone that might as well be your active imagination.

“Wanna go for a drink?”, Donghyuck suggests, boldly keeping his eyes at you only while he does so.

You pout in thought, humming pensively when an idea pops into your head.

“How about you come over my place for one?”

You should have thought this through more thoroughly, is all you can think about as you’re trapped between Johnny and Hyuck on your couch. Well, not really- there is a sizable distance between you three, yet the atmosphere in the room is so dense it’s nearly palpable. Three glasses, half-full of the alcohol of their choice are sitting on the coffee table in front of you, and you awkwardly stare at the sweat that falls from your glass and forms rings on the wooden surface.

Your body has loosened up from your drink yet your heart can’t stop racing, not when Donghyuck is looking at you like that. He looks like a man starved for days while you’re the meal presented deliciously in his arm’s reach, and he can’t wait to have you alone and curve his growing appetite. And you ignore Johnny’s cheeky smiles and flirtatious winks as well, carrying on a conversation that doesn’t belong in the inescapable tone of the room but flows easily, until it ends and you’re met with heavy silence and the ticking analog clock on your wall again.

You ask them if they would like some water, getting up before you receive an answer, and you yelp a little when you feel a strong arm halting your trip to the kitchen before it even started. You lose your balance and wobble a little in your spot before unceremoniously landing on Johnny’s lap.

He doesn’t help you up, but loops and arm around your waist instead, holding you in place. In circumstances other than the ones that have already made their mark on your sexual history, staying in this position with his assistant still in the room would be highly inappropriate.

“You’re all we need”, he reassures you with a voice made of silk, then repositions you with a jerk of his knee, your heat grinding right against his half hard member.

“When were you gonna tell me?”

You open and close your mouth sequentially like a fish out of water, choking out a reply after the insistent tick-tock that resonates through the room and gives a tempo to your anxiety.

“I’m sorry?”

“You know what I’m talking about. A little birdy told me I’m not the only one enjoying this perfect little body. Is that right Donghyuck?”

Donghyuck’s eyes bulged out of his skull, almost choking in the sip of the drink he was enjoying when the unexpected question hit him. Sizzling heat floods your face as he stares at you sternly, and you shake your head defensively.

“I didn’t tell him-“

“Well no, not exactly”, Johnny interrupts and places his big hands over your thighs, “I was just kissing her neck, trying to get her to relax, and lo and behold, she starts moaning your name like its a fucking reflex. You’ve really gotten into her head, apparently”

Donghyuck swells up in pride, that much is evident, yet he’s way too distracted to say anything in response, too busy staring at Johnny’s fingers spreading your thighs apart to expose your damp underwear. Johnny’s lips are planted on your neck, teeth nibbling on your earlobe and you wince when you feel the sharp sting of a slap on your inner thigh.

“You aren’t being a good hostess, baby. Open up your legs more, let Hyuck see your pretty pussy. You remember what word to say when you want me to stop, right?” You whimper the designated safe word while opening your thighs further, digging the heels of your feet in the couch’s pillows. “Good girl”

He dips a hand through the band of your underwear, busying his fingers under the fabric. You moan as they slide through the wetness and he smiles a cocky smile when he sees Donghyuck palming himself through his slacks. He removes the skimpy thong with the help of your hips moving to assist him, to then push the fabric inside your mouth with little to no resistance from you.

“Isn’t this pussy divine? I swear when I bottomed out inside of her the first time I thought I lost my damn mind”

He toys with your opening, only dipping half a finger in to challenge Donghyuck to pay attention.

“We haven’t actually…”

“She only let you play with her?”, Johnny teases him, then pushes his point and middle finger all the way inside you, making his assistant’s imagination run wild at what your pussy must feel like sucking him in. “You’re missing out man”

“I’ve made her cum probably twice as many times as you’ve ever have”

You chuckle at his smart remark and Johnny glares at you, softly slapping your pussy to keep you at bay.

“No one addressed you. You’ll get to make all the noise you want in a sec, baby”

You squirm in place, letting out a muffled apology through your gag and Donghyuck looks seriously affected by the sight.

“Isn’t she obedient?”, Johnny asks while grazing your g-spot, and you moan from both the praise and the stimulation.

Hyuck unbuttons his pants at the lewd sound, pulling his dick from the slit of his boxers and you admire his impressive girth. He lets his body decline comfortably on the pillows behind him, spreading his own legs at shoulder-length. The mouth-watering sight of him jerking himself slowly with the aid of his precum clouds your vision; you’re just as needy for him as he is for you.

“She’s a little brat”

“I guess I know how to make her listen”. Johnny lifts your dress over your hips, then helps you off of it through the hem. With a rehearsed flick of his fingers he discards your bra as well, leaving you completely naked for Donghyuck’s eyes to feast on. His hands immediately grope your breasts, playing with the mounds and putting on a show. “I could undress you over and over and over again”

You feel his fingers retract from inside your pussy to form a ‘V’ over your lower lips, making your hole even more visible along with the wetness that’s dripping out of it.

“Will you let Donghyuck use your pussy baby? I feel a little greedy using it all on my own”

You groan in the anticipation and let your head fall back on Johnny’s shoulder, nodding pathetically and mumbling through your thong.

“Oh god, yes, yes, yes”

Donghyuck has heard enough, and with Johnny urging him on he’s standing half naked in front of you in seconds. His boxers are discarded next to his trousers on the floor, tie hanging loosely from the collar. He still has a hand wrapped around his angry sex, red tip and veiny details making you swoon.

“Go on”, Johnny encourages him, “she’s more than wet enough”

Donghyuck rests his left knee on the cushion of the couch, right between your foot and Johnny’s thigh. A little foiled square is getting ripped by his nimble fingers and you bewitchedly watch him wrap up his cock. He slaps it over your entrance a couple times, coming in contact with the other man’s fingers that are still keeping you fully exposed, then finally thrusts himself inside you. A conglomerate of what seems like three different curses leave his lips, eyebrows furrowed in a pleasureful expression.

“Fuck”

“Tight, isn’t she?”

“So fucking tight baby, damn”

Johnny may have a cock so lengthy that most men are envious of, yet Donghyuck’s girth is really something else. It stretches you out more than you've had in months, dull pain getting numb with every release of serotonin from your brain. You almost cry when he removes the entire thing out of you.

“I have to feel that again”

And indeed he does, submerging himself in the tightness of your walls only his fingers had the privilege of experiencing thus far. You feel amazing wrapped up around him, pussy hot and burning in desire as he dips himself further inside you, pushing you up against Johnny’s chest. You hiss in the sting and whimper softly, prompting the man behind you to ungag you finally.

“What is it baby? Hyuckie’s dick is too big for your tight little hole?”

You nod affirmatively while keeping eye contact with the man mentioned, big glossy eyes awakening something dark inside him. He wants to ruin you.

“Maybe you don’t fuck her hard enough”

You can’t see Johnny from the way you’re seated but you know he must have a smile on his face, well aware of the confidence he possesses for his own abilities in the bedroom. His big hands leave your labia and make their way over to your calves, bending you in a way that is almost painful.

“How about you show me how it’s done, then?”

Donghyuck is always up for a challenge, so he wraps a hand loosely around your throat so as to gain leverage. He pulls his hips backwards, gaining momentum, then slaps them forcefully against your own. You moan loudly at the depth, hands scrambling to find something to hold on to as he’s nailing you against the couch. Johnny’s there to catch your sounds with his lips, eating them up eagerly as he slips his tongue inside you and continues to play with your nipples.

“Is that hard enough for you?”

Continuing his brutal pace restlessly, Donghyuck tightens his grasp around your neck, enough to hamper your blood flow and drool around the other man’s mouth. You’re so out of it at this point, dirty sound after another leaving your lips and you gasp at Johnny’s fingers that are suddenly circling around your clit.

“I’m close, please”, you manage to whimper from between them, Hyuck’s pace only fastening in the sound of your plea. The tip of his cock, thick like the rest of him, grazes against your sensitive spot again and again, not missing a single thrust. He digs a thumb in the softness of your cheek, pulling you away from Johnny and connecting his forehead with yours. By the sounds of his grunts it won’t take long until he comes as well.

“Made just for me”, he whispers against your lips, and you gasp when you feel the heat overflowing in your sex area, vision blurry as you let go and scream in complete pleasure. Donghyuck basks in the confirmation of how good he’s made you feel, hips stuttering as he empties his cum in you and inside the condom. His thigh muscles may be contracting in tiredness yet he doesn’t halt his movements, milking your orgasm for all its worth. You’re basically putty in Johnny’s lap at this point, sex drunk and high from your release.

“Not bad”, he admits, even though he had some credit to claim with the fast fingerwork he showed earlier. He holds your thighs again, closing them up to help you relax and you wince at the pain in your haunch, the result of staying in a flexibility-demanding position for so long.

You wait until your heartbeat slows down, turning around to face Johnny as Donghyuck ties up and discards the used condom. He sends you a warm smile, petting the messy hair out of your line of sight and you relax in the feeling of safety, batting your eyes up at him cutely.

“What about you?”, you practically meow, moaning softly as you feel his boner twitching from beneath his trousers.

“What about me? Didn’t you have enough?”

He knows your appetite, knows there’s no way you’d be satisfied by one round only. And how could you, when he sits so deliciously from under you, his big body reeling you in. You know what he wants to hear.

“Please, Johnny”, you plead, playing with the thin tie still neatly keeping his shirt in place. “I need you”

“You need what?”, he growls against your lips, trying to coax as much desperation out of you as possible.

“I need your big cock inside me, please”

“Ass up”

You get up from your seat, complying with his commands and getting on your knees before your tired legs betray you and leave you a mess on the floor. His hands cup your ass in admiration, giving it a little spank before he slides them over your dorsals. A careful push forces you to arch your back even more, and your cheeks burn at the eager position he has bent you in. You shiver when his cock enters you halfway.

“You’re still not used to me babe?”

“It’s not my fault that you’re so fucking big, Johnny”

“Then maybe I should stay still? Since you can’t take it?”

“No!”, you oppose, tears of frustration threatening to spill out of their ducts, “I can take it, just move!”

You howl as he bottoms out, his long length making you lose your mind. It’s been a while since you’ve had anything more than his fingers and you’ve missed the way he fits inside of you. You hear shuffling from behind you and soon he’s bending over you, wrapping his tie around your neck. With a pull you’re flush against his chest again, and the buttons of his shirt are already leaving little indentations on your skin. You wish it bruises.

“Do you remember what I wanted you to call me the other day?”, he whispers next to the shell of your ear, dark tone sending shivers down your spine.

“Mr. Suh”

“Exactly. Now will you let me fuck you the way I want?”

“Yes sir”

“What a good girl”

Johnny slams into you fully, every pull of his hips resulting in the restriction of your airflow. A game of wanting more of him and sacrificing your oxygen for it begins, and it doesn’t take long for you to turn completely into a submissive mess for him. He’s whispering filth in your ears, hips keeping their inhuman tempo until you’re all out of energy and fall nonvocal. Donghyuck gets hard again at the sight.

It doesn’t go unnoticed by Johnny, who is more than willing to share your body for the pleasure he’s after- at least part of it. He waits until the younger man’s dick is fully solid in his grasp, standing tall and red right in front of you and he lets go of the constraint of your neck without notice.

You fall face first on Donghyuck’s thick thighs, his quick reflexes catching you from a harder impact. His member is twitching right next to your face, tip grazing against your left temple and he helps your head up by wrapping your hair in a makeshift ponytail that his fingers hold together. You wrap your lips around his tip obediently, twirling your tongue around his member until you reach his hairy base. He tastes a bit rubbery from the condom earlier but you choose to ignore it, focusing on hollowing your cheeks around him instead.

Every hard thrust of Johnny’s propels you forward onto Donghyuck’s cock, the bobbing motion natural yet you struggle to take them both inside you. Donghyuck enjoys the vibrations of the moans you make when the other man hits a deep spot in your pussy, Johnny groans when you clench around him as Donghyuck abuses your throat. It’s a give and take of intense pleasure and you know you can’t take much more, the men’s moans growing louder with every thrust.

“Do you like Hyuck’s cock needy baby? Have you finally had enough?”

He punctuates each word with a slam, one harder than the other, and the rope inside your belly snaps with the arrival of your second orgasm. You try your hardest to stay in place, beg your thighs not to let you collapse as you let Johnny drive you into overstimuation.

“Yes, sir. I love it”

Johnny grunts at the sound of his title, so dirty coming muffled by another man’s dick that it’s enough to send him over the edge. You feel the hot cum filling up the condom inside you, and his spurts take so long that the little tweaks coax another orgasm from you.

Donghyuck drinks up the scene unveiling in front of him, a steady hand forcing your jaw open as he starts to jerk off quickly over your face.

“I want to see your tongue covered in my cum”

You lick your lips seductively in response, opening your mouth up to welcome his ropes of white liquid that leave his slit a second after. They fill your mouth little by little, painting the inside of it and you hold your tongue out to show him his creation, a couple of drops dripping from the corners before you swallow as much as you can. He collects whatever’s left on your jaw, pushing it in and letting you suckle on his thumb dumbly before letting go.

You collapse on the couch, exhausted after giving all that your body could handle after a work day, and you sit in silence as Johnny massages your feet and Donghyuck kisses your neck to calm you down. Your head hurts from the sex and the possibilities that this new combination can bring to your love life, belly tingling in excitement at the same time. You don’t know where this will lead, or when will be the next time you’ll indulge in the company of the both of them stuck on your body. All that you know is that this promotion, at least the celebration of it, tastes really, really sweet.

thank you for reading ❤ feedback is much appreciated! If you liked Promotion you can check out Work for it to see where it all started! :)

#neosmutcollective #neowritingsnet #johnny suh #johnny suh smut #lee haechan #haechan smut #donghyuck smut #johnny suh x reader #haechan x reader #nct smut #nct #nct 127 #nct dream #johnny seo smut #johnny seo #johnny nct smut #haechan nct smut #nct dream smut

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themedicalstate · 3 years

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U.S. to Advise Boosters for Most Americans 8 Months After Vaccination

Nursing home residents and health care workers will most likely be the first to get booster shots, as soon as September, followed by other older people who were vaccinated last winter.

The Biden administration has decided that most Americans should get a coronavirus booster vaccination eight months after they received their second shot, and could begin offering third shots as early as the third week of September, according to administration officials familiar with the discussions.

Officials are planning to announce the decision on Wednesday at the White House. Their goal is to let Americans who received the Pfizer-BioNTech or Moderna vaccines know now that they will need additional protection against the Delta variant, which is causing caseloads to surge across much of the nation. But the new policy will depend on the Food and Drug Administration authorizing additional shots.

Recipients of the Johnson & Johnson vaccine, which was authorized as a one-dose regimen, will also most likely require an additional dose, the officials said. But they are waiting for results, expected this month, from a clinical trial that provided participants with two doses. So far, only about 14 million people in the United States have gotten the Johnson & Johnson shot, which the government began offering in March. The first Pfizer and Moderna vaccines were given in December.

The first boosters would probably go to nursing home residents, health care workers and emergency workers, who were the first to be vaccinated last winter. They would likely be followed by other older people, then by the general population. Officials envision giving people the same vaccine they originally received.

Some five million people in the United States — everyone who got two doses of Pfizer or Moderna vaccine by the end of January — would be eligible for boosters by late September under the plan. In all, more than 90 million people in the country have been fully vaccinated with Pfizer’s product, and more than 64 million with Moderna’s. But about 40 percent of the population has still not gotten even a first dose, a problem the administration will need to stay focused on even as it turns to providing boosters.

For hospitals and state and local governments, having to manage a new round of vaccinations amid the Delta surge adds another layer of complication to the response, said Dr. Janis M. Orlowski, chief health officer of the Association of American Medical Colleges, which represents 400 of the nation’s largest teaching hospitals.

Before vaccinating health care workers, Dr. Orlowski said, hospitals will want data about side effects from booster shots, so they can know how to stagger vaccinations among their staff without hurting their ability to care for patients. “You can’t do the whole I.C.U. at the same time,” she said, “because you don’t want everyone getting fever and chills.”

In interviews on Tuesday, hospital officials and doctors generally supported the push for booster shots. Unlike the vaccination campaign that began last winter, they said, this time there will be enough doses to go around, which should make things move more smoothly.

“I think we’re running out of second chances,” said Dr. Matthew Harris, the medical director of the coronavirus vaccination program at Northwell Health, New York’s largest hospital system. “What keeps me up at night is the inevitability of a variant that is not responsive to the vaccine, so if this is how we stay ahead of it, I fully support it.”

Dr. Danny Avula, Virginia’s vaccine coordinator, said his state has thousands of vaccine providers in place and can likely manage boosters without much change. “What caused so much of the urgency and frenzy of January through April was the limitations in supply,” he said. “I think it will be a very different rollout for booster than it was for the initial shots.”

The booster strategy has been under discussion for several weeks, but a consensus about how to proceed was reached in meetings only this weekend. Officials said senior health officials all endorsed it, including the surgeon general, Dr. Vivek H. Murthy, and the leaders of the National Institutes of Health, the Food and Drug Administration and the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.

The administration has more than 100 million doses stockpiled that could be used for boosters, plus the tens of millions more in freezers at pharmacies and other locations. The administration has purchased still more supply scheduled for delivery this fall, and officials say they are not worried about running out.

Federal health officials have been particularly concerned about data from Israel suggesting that the Pfizer-BioNTech vaccine’s protection against severe disease has fallen significantly for elderly people who got their second shot in January or February.

Israel can in some ways be viewed as a template for the United States because it vaccinated more of its population faster and has almost exclusively used the Pfizer-BioNTech vaccine that made up much of the U.S. stock. Unlike the United States, though, Israel has a nationalized health care system that allows it to systematically track patients.

The latest Israeli data, posted on the government’s website, shows what some experts described as continued erosion of the efficacy of the Pfizer vaccine against mild or asymptomatic Covid-19 infections in general and against severe disease among the elderly who were vaccinated early in the year.

One slide suggests that for those age 65 or older who got their second shots in January, the vaccine is now only about 55 percent effective against severe disease. But researchers noted that the data has a wide margin of error, and some said other Israeli government data suggested the decline was less severe.

“It shows a pretty steep decline in effectiveness against infection, but it’s still a bit murky about protection against severe disease,” said Dr. Peter J. Hotez, a vaccine expert at the Baylor College of Medicine in Houston, who reviewed the data at the request of The New York Times.

Federal officials said the booster program would most likely follow much the same scenario as the initial vaccination program. The first shots for the general public in the United States were administered on Dec. 14, days after the F.D.A. authorized the Pfizer shot for emergency use. People started receiving the Moderna vaccine a week later.

It is not clear how quickly the F.D.A. could rule on booster shots.

Pfizer is further along in submitting data to the F.D.A. that it says supports the use of extra doses. Moderna and the National Institutes of Health are still studying whether a half-dose or a full dose would work better for a third shot but expect results soon. Both companies expect to complete their submissions of booster data soon.

An advisory committee on vaccines for the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention would need to review the data on boosters before the C.D.C. can recommend them.

The World Health Organization has called for a moratorium on booster shots until the end of September, saying available doses should be used to help countries that are far behind in vaccinations. But Israel is already offering third shots to those at least 50 years old. Germany and France have said they plan to offer additional shots to vulnerable segments of their populations next month. Britain has a plan to do so, but is holding off for now.

Late last week, the F.D.A. authorized third doses of the Pfizer and Moderna vaccines for certain people with weakened immune systems, and the C.D.C. recommended them. The authorities decided those individuals, who make up fewer than 3 percent of Americans, merited extra shots because many fail to respond to the standard dosage. The agency has not yet authorized any of the vaccines for children younger than 12.

By Sharon LaFraniere (The New York Times). Noah Weiland contributed reporting. Image: James Estrin/The New York Times. Updated Aug. 18, 2021.

#science #medicine #news #health #public health #public safety #medblr #academia

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padfootagain · 3 years

Text

Grumpy

Hi everyone! I'm back with a very cute little drabble for Christmas! We're one week away from Christmas, and I'll try to post a few of those little drabbles before the 25th!

This is a very cute, grumpy Ben with a cold! I hope you like this!

A little comment is greatly appreciated, if you have a second to spare!

Pairing: Ben Barnes x Reader

Word Count : 1672

Ben was grumpy.

It wasn't in his nature, and it wasn't in his character at all. He was a rather shy, goofy and quite adorable man with a mischievous sense of humour most of the time. There were only a few instances that brought him to a more bitter state of mind: the remnants of a hangover in the early morning, being stuck in traffic for a long time, and being sick.

And now, Ben was sick.

Nothing dramatic, but a seasonal cold that would have disappeared in a few days. But for the moment, Ben was in the dark phase of the disease.

A runny nose, a sore throat that was sometimes scratched with a rough cough, fever and a migraine that made him feel like someone was piercing his skull with needles. He had no energy for anything and was stuck in his bed, under a pile of blankets and pillows you had brought for him.

And it would have been bearable, had you been there with him to distract him from his miserable state, give him cuddles and bring him regular doses of his favourite tea. But you were at work, and he had to survive four more hours without you. And the more time he spent on his own, the grumpier he became.

It was snowing outside upon London, large snowflakes brightening the days of children and turning the old city into something a little enchanted, a little magical. Low clouds almost as white as the snowflakes they released hovered lazily above the tall buildings and worn-out stones, businessmen hurrying under the cold weather while the more innocent kinds carved faces for snowmen and threw snowballs at their friends. Cars of those reckless enough to try to drive through the city under this weather honked loudly, punctuating the rhythm of the city that never slowed down, especially at the approach of the holidays. And Ben would have loved the spectacle it offered, had he moved to his window to glimpse at the outside world. He would have dragged a chair by the window, and enjoyed a warm cup of coffee while watching peacefully as the snowflakes fell in his garden. Or perhaps, had you been there, he would have enjoyed looking at strangers running down the slippery street, imagining with you crazy lives for these people he didn't know. You would have found an astronaut in their midst for sure, you always did, for some reason. Ben's theory was that it was because of how much you loved the stars.

But again, you were not there, he was alone in your shared home with a buzzing brain that was slowly turning into jelly, and sore limbs, and a nose that wouldn't allow him to breathe. And now, the snow annoyed him, the cold weather the cause of his pain, after all.

He checked the time again, and heaved a desperate sigh as he counted – with much difficulty – how many more hours he had to survive through without you. He had never cursed your job more than now, as he grumpily mumbled a string of curses under his breath, wrapping himself even more in his blankets until the only part of him still visible was his forehead and messy dark hair.

He counted the minutes till you'd be back to fall back to sleep, and he spent most of his afternoon tossing around, somewhere between sleep and reality, in a daze that wasn't peaceful and didn't bring to his tired frame any rest. He reached for a book after a couple of hours, but the words written on the page required from him way too much concentration and his migraine got worse after only a couple of pages, so he discarded the item once again. He checked the time one more time.

He had two hours left.

He made an almost-unbearable effort to extract himself from the covers and finally head for the shower, figuring that some warm water would help.

And it did. The shower gave him enough energy to carry his set of pillows and blankets to the sofa instead, moving his mess to the living-room so he could watch some stupid things on the TV.

He spent most of the rest of his time alone watching some old episodes of Columbo, keeping an eye on the time while he waited for you, hoping you wouldn't be delayed by the snow on your way home, his mood darkening some more at the mere thought.

And when you finally walked in your shared home, Ben couldn't refrain a relieved sigh.

He waited for the sound of your keys to drop on the little bowl by the door, for the sound of the shuffling of fabric as you took off your scarf, beanie, gloves and coat, and finally the thud sound of your shoes being kicked off. Finally, the muffled thumping of your footsteps on the wooden floor echoed through the hall, and you appeared by his side, your hair a little wet because of the snow, but you still seemed warm and cosy in your warm jumper.

"How are you feeling, baby?" you asked in a soft voice, tilting your head in wonder, and Ben swore that he had never seen anything cuter in his life.

He let out a groan, pouting dramatically.

"I feel awful," he mumbled, letting out a grumpy growl and holding his cover closer to him.

You sat down by his side on the sofa, and rested the back of your hand against his forehead.

"You still have fever, babe," you told him in the softest voice you could muster, your fingers sliding from his forehead to his hair, soothingly travelling through the dark strands. "Have you taken a shower?"

He nodded, before sneezing very loudly, the noise echoing throughout the room, and letting out a frustrated groan.

"I hate being like this," he pouted.

"I know, love. But you need to rest to get better, that's all we can do. I'm gonna make you some tea with honey, it'll help, okay?"

You were about to get up when he quickly grabbed your wrist, pulling you back to your seat gently. The quick gesture seemed to exhaust him even more, but he didn't mind, for once.

"No, stay. You'll do that later."

"It would be good for you…"

"No, please. Please stay with me. I've waited for you all day. Just… stay."

His eyes were watery because of his cold, and his nose all red, and his cheeks flushed with fever, and he was poutier than ever, buried under three blankets. There was simply no way for you to say no to him.

And it was unsaid, right now, but it wasn't hard to read in his eyes that he meant to add I love you to his plea.

So, you settled properly in the sofa, opening your arms for him to snuggle into your side.

He heaved a sigh, finally relaxing, as he tucked his head in the crook of your neck.

"I hope you don't get sick holding me like that," Ben mumbled into your skin, his voice muffled and barely audible, but you were so used to his voice by now that it wasn't hard for you to decipher what he was whispering.

You smiled a tender smile, that he couldn't see and that you barely noticed yourself as it formed across your lips, but it didn't matter. It wasn't aimed at anyone in particular anyway. It was just how he made you feel all the time.

"Well, if I do catch your cold, you'll have to nurse me back to health too, then," you replied, making him chuckle, his first laughter of the day.

"That's a deal. Besides, I'm gonna be a little selfish here, but I need you too much now to really care if you get sick or not."

It was your time to laugh, and your heart was filled with love as you did so, the bright sound illuminating the whole room.

"Well, you're feeling very bad, so, I won't hold that selfish act against you," you reassured him, and Ben closed his eyes as you started running your fingers in his dishevelled hair again.

"Thanks. Because I really do feel awful."

You hummed, focusing on the TV before you, but only for a moment, as Ben spoke again. He had missed your voice too much during the day, after all. And if having you in his arms was already working wonders on his mood, still, he wanted you all to himself, and you seemed to give way too much interest to the crime show on TV.

"How was your day, baby?" he asked in a hoarse voice, before he would be shaken by a cough.

"It was okay, a bit long," you admitted as Ben settled back into your arms.

"Tell me everything that happened, please?" he asked, looking up at you with puppy eyes, and you could only let out a fond chuckle as you kissed his forehead and proceeded to tell him everything about your day at work.

"Well, Marjorie broke the coffee machine this morning, which was undoubtedly a good odd for the rest of the day!"

You went on for a long time, sometimes slowing down to a stop when Ben's eyes remained closed for a while, and you thought he had fallen asleep, but he kept on asking you to continue then, his eyes still closed, so you did. He did fall asleep though, once you had finished your story and settled back in a comfortable silence with him nestled in your arms. You didn't mind, despite your position growing a little uncomfortable after a while. You watched TV while Ben caught up on some most needed sleep, a soft snore coming out of him once in a while making you smile fondly at him.

Yes, Ben was grumpy when he was sick. But then again, sometimes, he wasn't that grumpy, even if sick, for as long as he had you.

************************************************************

Taglist : @ponycake27 @horsesreign @xinyourdreamsx @jbluevelvet@notkeppeki @daynigt-dreamer-stuff @fudgeflyss @stuckupstucky@snek-shit @suchatinyinfinity@i-padfootblack-things @buckybsarmy @heyohheyitsgabi@jigsawlover10 @emyyjemyy @addictedtofictionalcharacters @staringmoony@geeksareunique @giggleberts @sad-orange-thoughts @aylinnmaslow @benbarnes-world @ladyblablabla @madamrogers @drinix @joelynnp @mxrihollxnd @rockintensse @newtstarmander @iammadeofstarsandlazyness @shinebrightlikeafanbase @wangmangagavroche@presstocontinue @ilmiopiccolounivers0

#ben barnes #ben barnes x reader #ben barnes fanfiction #ben barnes imagine #ben barnes drabble #ben barnes fluff #christmas fic #ben barnes fic #fanfiction #fanfic #writing #drabble #imagine

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toosicktoocare · 3 years

Text

prompt: i would literally commit a crime for a buddie sick fic in these trying times,,, i don’t even care what the specifics are just,, hngg buddie sickfic ❤️👄❤️ (big mood, anon)

(I got another anon that asked for Buck taking care of sick Eddie as well. I just lost the dang ask before I could post the fic.)

Ever since Maddie’s kidnapping, Buck cannot, for the life of him, sleep well. His subconscious is gripped in a muted fear, keeping him trapped in interrupted, light slumbers. Maddie and everyone at the 118 pester him regularly about it, giving him various options to help with sleep, but he’s afraid of the foggy mind that comes with over-the-counter medication, so he convinces himself he can run on low fumes, boosting with caffeine as needed because a tired mind is still a clear mind, albeit a little slower.

When his phone rings at 2:07 a.m., Buck jerks awake, mind previously edging the line of a dream, and he fumbles blindly for his phone, squinting at the light to see “Eddie Diaz” flashing across his screen.

His stomach bottoms out, and he presses answer and swings his legs over the bed, feeling cold with fear. “Eddie? What’s wrong?” He can hear crying on the other end, and he balances the phone between his ear and shoulder as he kicks around in the dark for his abandons shorts. “Eddie!”

“Hey, sorry. One sec.”

Eddie sounds panicked, Buck thinks, taking the steps down to the first floor two at a time. He can hear Eddie trying to reassure Christopher that everything’s going to be okay in the background, and he pauses, briefly gripped in a paralyzing fear, briefly brought back to the tsunami, to losing Christopher.

“Look, I’m sorry for calling so late. Chris has been sick since the end of my shift, and I just can’t get his fever down. With his CP... I’m taking him to the ER.”

Buck’s half out the door, shoes barely on his feet, when he realizes he’s still shirtless. He snags an LAFD zip-up off the back of a chair and stumbles back to the door, arms sliding into the jacket. “What hospital?”

“I... I didn’t even ask. You’ll come?”

“Of course I’ll come,” Buck spits out, already out the door and taking the steps out of his apartment building two at a time. “What hospital?” He repeats as he runs out of the building and all but rips his jeep door open. He nods absently when Eddie rattles off the details, mentally mapping out the quickest route.

“I’ll be there in ten.”

“Be careful.”

Buck rolls his eyes because of course Eddie is going to still worry for his well-being, and he ends the call and peels out of his parking spot.

***

“Hi,” Buck starts, breathless, heart trying to catch up to the rest of him, “my name is Evan Buckley, and I’m looking for a young kid. Christopher-”

“Buck.”

Buck whips around from the receptionist desk to see Eddie slipping out a set of large double doors, and for a moment, he doesn’t move, he only assesses. Eddie’s pale, which, Buck thinks, is to be expected if he’s been up in a near-constant state of worry after a 16-hour shift. His cheeks are red, and Buck’s quick to peg it on exertion, on Eddie racing into the hospital with Christopher, his own heart also working to match the rest of him. And, he’s shaking, and Buck knows cold nerves all too well, still feeling chilled himself.

His eyes fall to Eddie’s, and then he crosses the room to him quickly and gathers him in his arms tightly. Eddie slumps against his chest, and Buck tightens his arms around him.

“How’s Chris?”

Eddie lingers for a moment, clinging to Buck, before he pulls away with a low sigh. “He’s okay. Just a persistent virus.”

Buck nods, a frown playing at his lips. Without Eddie’s body flush against him, he feels colder than normal, and on instinct, he smooths the back of his hand to Eddie’s forehead, lingering there before moving to cup Eddie’s neck.

“You sure he’s the only one with a virus? You’re really warm.”

“I...” Eddie sighs, rubbing at the back of his neck. “I’ve been feeling a little off, but Chris...”

“Right, where is he?”

Eddie leads Buck to Christopher’s room, and as soon as he steps in, Christopher’s face lights up in such a way that Buck’s steps falter.

“Buck!”

Though sounding a little weak, the contagious energy is still centerfold, and Buck leans toward it, finding his footing and matching Christopher’s smile with his own.

“Hey, buddy! Heard you aren’t feeling so hot.” Buck eases himself onto the edge of the hospital bed, staring at Christopher’s vitals for an extended moment before turning toward him, assessing the same way he assessed Eddie.

“Yeah, I feel bad.”

A sympathetic frown pulling at his lips, Buck spares a glance to see Eddie flopping down onto a chair pulled to Christopher’s bedside. “I bet you do, but you’re going to feel better in no time. You’ve got the Diaz genes.”

“And daddy will feel better too?”

Buck finds Eddie’s eyes, and he opens his mouth to speak, stopping when Eddie shoots him a very clear look that all but screams “don’t.”

“I’m sure your dad will feel a lot better when you’re better.”

“That’s good,” Christopher mumbles, and Buck nods, patting Christopher’s leg.

***

Buck’s carefully quiet as Eddie putters around his house, watching as Eddie measures out Christopher’s medicine, as he hovers over Christopher until he falls asleep, and he only intervenes when he’s sure Eddie can breathe deeply without the fear that Christopher is going to take a turn for the worse.

“He’s finally asleep,” Eddie mutters, coughing into his fist. “All dosed up, fever’s finally down. I’ll contact his school in a few hours before my shift; see if Carla can take him for a the full day.”

“You aren’t going in.”

Eddie stops around a yawn. “What?”

“I texted Bobby. He’s pulling coverage for the next few days so you can rest.” Buck can pinpoint every emotion that flicks across Eddie’s face: confusion, frustration, exhaustion. He’s seen them all, sometimes daily.

“Buck-”

“Eddie, you have a fever. You’re exhausted, and you are only going to get worse if you go on three hours of sleep.”

“Since when did you become the responsible one?” Eddie sighs lowly, and Buck laughs, rubbing at the back of his neck.

“It’s my week to be responsible. You had it last week.”

Eddie hums around a small smile and rubs at the ache on his forehead. “I really appreciate you coming, Buck. I don’t think... I just... It was really nice to have you there.”

Buck gets to his feet, and, for the second time that night, crosses the room and pulls Eddie right to his chest, hoping that he can ease some of the worrying pressure, even if just for a moment.

Eddie snuggles into him, frowning as he thumbs Buck’s bare chest, exposed where his zipper’s slipped down a little.

“Where’s your shirt?”

“Ah, I kinda forgot one when I rushed out.” Buck smiles sheepishly when Eddie pulls back, and he cups a hand to Eddie’s cheek, too warm for his liking.

“Okay, Diaz, it’s your turn.”

“My turn for what?”

Buck snags Eddie’s hand and guides him to the bedroom, ignoring Eddie’s questions the whole way. He makes easy work of tugging Eddie’s jacket and jeans off, and he urges him into the bed in nothing but a short sleeve under shirt and boxers.

“Buck-”

Buck disappears into the bathroom, still promptly ignoring Eddie, and he comes back with a glass of water, a bottle of ibuprofen, and a thermometer.

“Buck, I’m fine.”

“Mmhmm, sure. Open.” Buck waves the thermometer in front of Eddie’s face until Eddie sighs and opens his mouth wide enough for Buck to slip the thermometer under his tongue. While waiting, he presses two fingers to Eddie’s neck, counting the flutter of heartbeats beneath his finger prints until the thermometer beeps.

“101.7,” Buck reads aloud, frowning. “Heartbeat’s a little fast. Any other symptoms?”

Eddie gives him a knowing look, but Buck doesn’t back down, matching Eddie’s narrow gaze until Eddie caves.

“My head and throat hurt. I’m freezing, and I’m tired.”

Nodding, Buck tugs at the blankets until they are covering Eddie up to his chest. He shakes a couple of pills into his hand, offering them to Eddie with the water.

“Seems like you definitely got Christopher’s virus.”

“Perks of parenting,” Eddie mutters around a wince, the pills grating against his throat. He hands off the cup, sighing contentedly when Buck smooths a cool palm to his forehead.

“You should save yourself. This thing apparently moves fast.”

“I’m not going anywhere.”

Eddie grabs Buck’s wrist and pulls his hand away, a tight frown on his lips.

“Buck, you have a shift in a few hours. You need-”

“Bobby took me off the schedule, too. At least for today. I’ve been instructed to call him later to update him on how you and Christopher are.”

“And you agreed?”

“Someone has to make sure you and Chris are okay,” Buck says as if it’s the most obvious thing and the world and equally the easiest decision he’s ever made, and Eddie shakes his head.

“No, Buck, you really don’t have to... What are you doing?”

Buck’s just kicked his shorts off across the room, and he’s setting an alarm on his phone as he crawls into the empty side of the bed.

“Okay, I’ve got an alarm set for 6 to check Christopher’s temperature, and I’ll wake you at 7 to check you over.”

“Buck-”

Ignoring Eddie, Buck drops his phone on the night stand and cuts out the light, snuggling into the bed with a low sigh.

“Evan.”

“Shh,” Buck shushes, patting blindly until his palm cups over Eddie’s mouth. “I’m sleeping.”

“You’ll get sick.” Eddie mumbles, slapping Buck’s hand away.

“Okay? I don’t know if you remember, but I got a clean bill of health from the hospital, so bring it.”

“You’re so dumb,” Eddie sighs, and Buck laughs, blindly reaching around to pat Eddie’s too-warm cheek.

“Sleep, loser.”

#9-1-1 #9 1 1 #9 1 1 fox #9-1-1 fox #Buddie #evan buckley #Eddie Diaz #sickfic #fanfic #prompt #my writing #my 911 writing #christopher diaz

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medical-gal · 3 years

Text

Death by a thousand cuts

I have been thinking about writing this for months now. Even before I decided to quit the residency at my previous job.

COVID has been kicking our ass, true, but that was (is) true for most healthcare providers all around the world.

No, my struggle started a bit before that actually.

First some background, I have been working at one of the biggest most famous ID clinics in central Europe. The clinic is in a different country than I am originally from so there was a bit of cultural accommodating at the begging. But we were a big group of ID interns/residents/fellows and specialists.

I don't actually remember that much from my first year working there. And I couldn't figure out why, but then I read in some study that when u experience a high dose of stress and/or sleep deprivation for a long time, your brain kinda stopps being able to transcribe short term memory into a long term.

I was working 100hours/week, sometimes less, sometimes more. After a year and a half, when the last half I worked in the ID ER for five months, I always stayed after working 24 hours, sometimes over 36hours, and I would see and treat 70ish patients. Nobody from the older docs would help me out, nobody from other interns either bc usually they would have their own kind of hell to take care of.

The fact that basically, inexperienced doctors are taking care of patients never really phased my ex-boss. Her mantra was that if there was a problem that you cannot resolve, you can call her and she would advise you. Which most of the time was true, I must say that.

But we all have been young docs, barely out of our medical school garments, and sometimes as it happened, we could not recognize there IS a problem that maybe needs a more experienced opinion.

I am often confronted with this idea or more like a culture, of pretending that once you are an MD you don't need help and asking for it is a kind of weakness and that then you are forever on the list of WEAKLINGS.

And let me say this only once.

That's absolute bullshit.

Anyway, the first time I decided to quit I worked there for about a year and a half, I went for a long-expected holiday, I took three weeks off, had interviews and talked with my bf about my options.

Second thing...my man, bless his beard, would support me no matter what. He is almost 10 years older than me, so he has more work experience and I find it reassuring to discuss stuff like this with him bc I know he will not sugarcoat it. He said that I should dig my heels in and last at least one more year till the end of my "internship". As a "resident" who worked at this specific department, I wouldn't have a problem finding another job. We r basically the equivalent of a french legion of medical professionals (when u work in this specific department and everyone knows it, I will come back to that later).

So I took his advice. Thankfully as a part of our training, one of those parts is a year-long internship at the internal medicine department, which I did shortly after we had that conversation and guys, that was a revelation of how medicine and just...work and life can be experienced. There were enough docs for a floor, an attending who had the time to manage and advise us. I´ve grown that year as a doc so much. Other internships were mandatory so I could have become (equivalent of) a resident, and it was a general surgery, anesthesiology, radiology, microbiology etc. But I did them all and became a resident.

The moment I came back to our clinic, my boss would put me in our outpatient department. Which I have never worked on before. The head of the department has quit a few months before, and I had no idea what to do there, bc it's a very different type work. The only thing my boss told me when I spoke of my concerns were "you will learn".

Thankfully the previous head of the department was a good friend of mine and she would always answer my questions and requests. Suddenly I no longer had to deal with the hectic life of an ID floor or ER, no sepsis, meningitis, etc.

Most of my patients were the chronic type...Lyme, chlamydia, mycoplasma... let's say it literally drained the life out of me. But I managed. Also, I started to work for their outpatient office which takes care of patients with chronic hepatatis. That I enjoyed more.

I also started to dip my toes in vaccinology, either planned like for travel but I started to be more interested in preventive care in the immunocompromised and my own phantasmagoria was to make a palliative care team in our hospital. Bc, we had none. And then a wonderful thing happened, other docs, older experienced, great at their work, started to refer their patients to me specifically.

There were more examples of the utter a complete FUCK U(s) which were kindly provided either by the system or by the head of the department or the hospital.

Then covid hit and the shit hit the interstellar space.

I still can't make myself remember the first few months bc it actually causes me to go into a rage fit, and honestly, I am done with that kind of negativity.

I hold out for a year. Year of such shitty treatment from the chief and our hospital head. No thank you- s or you are doing a good job or we r all on the same ship.

No.

People will say that I quit bc of the money. And that's not true, tho it did irk me a bit. All the other ID specialists working at different hospitals would get covid bonuses every month. We got jack shit. Again, the best biggest most know ID clinic. We were the first and oftern the ONLY ones who would test for/diagnose/hospitalize/treat a patient who had covid FOR MONTHS in the beginning.

I mean, the medical community is small, the ID community even smaller so yes, we were able to compare and contrast the work at different ID departments in other hospitals bc our friends worked there. And all of them would go speechless when they would hear from us what we were living thru.

At one point at the beginning of the pandemic, ALL the ambulances would go thru our ER department and we were supposed to decide where the patient should go.

AN EXAMPLE

Ambulance with a woman who has known colon cancer, had a fever, stomach as a rock and is projectile vomiting. I was supposed to decide where she should go and the surgeon would be super pissed when I said that I don't think she has COVID but without PCR I can't be sure but I think there is a bigger pressing issue. I remember him saying:

"well if anyone else gets infected at our department and dies, it's on you."

fun.

There were other examples of seriously stressful episodes which I and my coworkers lived thru, for which we were not trained for, advised, or properly supervised. At a certain point, I started to take anxiolytics before and during my all-nighters bc I didn't know what I would do with all that stress which was so callously shat on me and my coworkers.

For a few months, I stopped working nights, only thru the mercy of my coworkers who saw how exhausted I was and would take my shifts.

Anyway, after only two months I had to start working nights bc I needed the money. The basic pay for docs was just not enough without the extra from night shifts. Talk about exploiting.

The moment however when I decided to QUIT, when I was DONE, when I actually heard my heart break, was the moment at the end of the previous year. They decided to start vaccinating in our tiny small vaccination centre. Let's say a "shit storm" brewing is the light version of events that ensued.

But basically, as I was trying to discuss with my boss that we are all exhausted, that this wave is not slowing down and that throwing more work at us, the docs and nurses and other staff, who are overworked, is not a good idea,

What she basically said to me is that who says things like that is lazy and that if she can handle it everyone must be also.

The thing is..most of us were at the bring. Some would handle it with casual and calous sex, drugs (legal or not), a bottle of wine before sleep. A coworker ended up with antipsychotics.

But u know,

we were all lazy apperently.

I realized there is no way out of this other than quitting. I could not continue being so tired and sad all the time. I took two weeks off, really thought about it. Had diarrhoea and nausea for a week as I realized I will have to quit :D

On a Monday I came back, handed in my notice. Basically what she told me and how she reacted made me realized how right the decision was.

I had to stay there for another three months bc that's the law, but my mood changed significantly.

I got another job in a smaller ID department, working with amazingly kind people, but that's another story.

But that was the only interview I actually looked for and did. I, however, did get several job offers from different types of medicine. From heads of different departments in my old hospital to smaller general medicine chain offices who are looking for ID specialists, to insurance companies.

Like I said, french legion.

Or Runway and your boss is Miranda Pristley. Once u survive that, u survive anything.

But at my old work they would keep hitting you with wave after wave of passive agressive comments about how if u quit, u wont be able to find anything as"prestigious" as this.

There were many other exmaples of a shitty and questionable situations which were treated as "normal" but there is not point on getting on that rage train.

Contrary as it might seem, I am greatful I got to live thru this, good and bad, bc now I know what I am and am not willing to sacrifice for a job. No matter how much I might love it.

#sorry this is long #but goddammit it needed to be said #suzy's adventures in id

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onlydarylnormanfic · 3 years

Text

All of You - Part 9 (The Test)

[Part 1] [Part 2] [Part 3] [Part 4] [Part 5] [Part 6] [Part 7] [Part 8]

Summary: The people of Alexandria are still uneasy with her presence, despite now being Daryl’s wife. So, the Reader is determined to go on a run with Rick, Michonne, Aaron, and Daryl. She is determined to show the group that she can be of good use and try and calm the tensions between them. She goes on the run with them, despite feeling very under the weather, and helps the group salvage food and supplies from a nearby farmhouse. When she returns to Alexandria, Daryl insists on her going to see the doctor to see what is wrong. She finds out why she has been feeling under the weather, much to both of their surprise…

-----

You awoke to the sounds of the birds chirping and the town rising. You could hear voices here and there outside of your open window. You tossed and turned a few times, stretching out and groaning with discomfort as you felt your sore muscles. And then finally, you reluctantly opened your eyes.

“Ughh…” you groaned, closing them again and pulling the covers back over your head, trying to fall back asleep despite the sun rays beaming directly at you through the open window.

You heard Daryl’s footsteps walking down the hallway towards the bedroom. You heard the doorknob rattle and the door creak open. And then you heard a chuckle from Daryl’s throat fill the bedroom.

You forced your eyes open and flung the blankets down off of your face and upper body. You looked over at him with cranky, tired eyes.

“What?” you asked, with a slight edge in your voice.

This made Daryl chuckle again as he walked over with a cup of water for you to drink and a bowl of something else in his other hand.

Daryl shook his head and smiled, setting the glass of water and bowl down on your nightstand beside you.

“Nothin…” Daryl said with a knowing smile as he sat down on the bed beside you.

“What?” you asked again, smiling up at him as you started to awake to the dream that was your reality now, him.

He shook his head, looking away, unable to shake his smile as he watched you fall in love all over again with him as you slowly awoke.

It happened every day, and every day he wondered how he had gotten so lucky.

“Nothin’, it’s just…I never knew until we came here just how much you were *not* a morning person,” he said, chuckling again to himself.

You rolled your eyes and smiled sheepishly back up at him, pushing your arms to the bed and finally sitting up.

“Fine. I’m up. Happy?” you asked with another pout over at him.

He laughed softly to himself and nodded.

“Always,” he said reaching over and grabbing the bowl from the nightstand.

He grabbed one of the fresh strawberries inside of it and brought it to your lips.

“Here I brought ya some breakfast,” he said, gesturing to you to open your mouth.

Your lips smiled at him first, causing him to look up into your eyes again and admire the twinkle in them.

“You’re so sweet,” you said, looking over at him with thankful admiration for another few seconds before you focused on the strawberry and bit into it.

“Mmm…” you moaned happily to yourself as you closed your eyes and tasted the sweet fruit with a content smile on your face.

You swallowed it down and opened your eyes again to see Daryl smiling over at you with the sweetest smile on his lips as he watched you enjoy the fruit.

Life had been so damn good since you two had been married and settled down in Alexandria. Your dad had made good on his promise and let Alexandria survive on its own without his intrusive presence or demands.

You two had spent one full week in honeymoon heaven before starting your new life in this new community.

Since then, you had been trying to do as much as possible to prove your worth here. You couldn’t stand anyone thinking that you somehow thought you were above anyone or above the same hard work everyone else had to do to maintain this paradise in the middle of a deadly storm everywhere around you.

You grabbed a few more strawberries and popped them eagerly into your mouth, your stomach now alerting you to how famished you were.

You chopped away on them, grabbing more and popping them into your mouth. After you swallowed those you reached over, grabbed the water, and chugged it down. When you were finished you put the glass back on the nightstand and burrowed back down into your sleeping position. You looked up at him with a tired, but satisfied smile as your stomach and your eyes silently thanked him for the nourishment. But you couldn’t help but yawn, still feeling so tired.

Daryl looked over at you with concern for a moment. He brought his hand to your forehead, trying to feel if you had a fever. But you felt normal to him. So, he sighed with relief. He put the bowl down and walked around the bed, slipping into his side of the bed under the covers. He laid his arm out on the pillow above you.

You immediately lifted your head long enough to let him lay it beneath your head. You then laid back down and scooted into him, laying your arm over his chest as you settled into him.

He kissed your forehead a few times, smiling to himself as you turned into his body and cuddled into him. You two fit together like the perfect puzzle you were.

You smiled happily to yourself, closing your eyes as you burrowed into his neck, loving the scent of him.

Daryl wrapped both arms around you and held you close to him, watching as you closed your eyes and smiled, relaxing happily in his arms.

“You’ve been so tired lately,” Daryl said, kissing you on the forehead again and nuzzling into it as he closed his own eyes and held you tight.

“Maybe ya should stay here today and rest,” he said with sweet concern.

You shook your head, which laid on his chest, and nuzzled further into him, wrapping your arm around his body, underneath his arm.

“No, I can’t. I need to prove my worth here,” you said, opening your eyes and starring over at the open window opposite you with a wary look in your eyes.

As much as you did, you couldn’t help but feel like people were always judging your worth or your motives. You didn’t know if that was in your head or reality. All you knew was that’s how you felt most times you walked around here. The new world that you had desperately wanted for you and Daryl for as long as possible was turning out to be colder than you had imagined. Despite all of the anxiety you had for your own safety and insecurities you had pushed on, every single day as hard as you could. You did it for him, for your future together, and for the future of this safe haven.

“Ya don’t need to prove nothin’, Y/N. I’ll protect you,” Daryl said, hugging you as he said it.

He wanted nothing more than for you to finally be accepted her and put your mind at ease.

You smiled wider at his words, nuzzling into his neck and kissing it a few times before settling back into the crook.

“I know you can, baby. I just…I just need to prove myself as an equal here too. I have to,” you said, looking up at him with determined eyes.

Even though you didn’t often announce this worry out loud, he read it on your face every single time it crossed your mind. Which was more times than he had ever wanted when bringing you here. He wished like hell he could flash forward to a time when the people he knew and loved here would see how great you were. But all he could do was endure the first weeks of this new deal and hope that you and his family outside of you could somehow find common ground.

He looked back down into your eyes with worry, until he saw your resolve and nodded. He understood completely what that feeling was like and he admired how much you wanted to do this on your own merits. How could he say no?

So, he nodded, leaning down to kiss you softly. When he was done, he kissed your nose, then nuzzled it with his own, finally submitting to you.

“Alright. But, how about I let ya sleep a few more hours before we have to leave?” he asked, looking you over with loving concern again.

You looked up into his eyes and nodded, closing your eyes and then nuzzling into his body again, clinging onto him as if he was your only safety.

“Only if you stay here with me,” you said, starting to fall back asleep in his relaxing and loving arms.

Daryl smiled and settled his body further into yours until he was comfy, settling in to sleep next to you.

Once he did you smiled, and your eyes closed again. Daryl watched you fall quickly back asleep in his arms silently and contently. He dosed off soon after you did and you both fell into a peaceful slumber...

-----

You awoke before Daryl about an hour later. You had tossed and turned until your brain finally woke you up. You sat up and covered your mouth, feeling your stomach turning like crazy. You quickly ripped off the blanket over you and ran to the bathroom, where you hit your knees right in front of the toilet. You gripped it just seconds before you threw up the water and strawberries you had just eaten not too long ago.

“Ugh!” you groaned with disgust, wiping your mouth clean and quickly flushing the toilet.

That’s strange. You thought to yourself. You rarely, if ever, got sick. Maybe the strawberries had been bad you thought as you stood up and walked over to the sink. But your stomach did seem to be more sensitive the past week or so. You ran some cold water and splashed over your face, trying to cool it down.

“Y/N?” Daryl called out from the bedroom.

“Y/N, you alright?” he asked, looking over at the open door with confusion.

He had heard and felt you spring out of bed to the bathroom, waking him from his slumber.

“Yeah!” you shouted back, grabbing your toothbrush.

“I just wanted to make sure we weren’t going to be late!” you shouted back, shoving the toothbrush in your mouth and washing it clean.

Within seconds Daryl was at the doorway of the bathroom.

He leaned up against it, looking over at you with an in-awe smile as he took you in. Even doing such a basic thing you looked like the most beautiful woman he had ever seen.

You leaned over and spit, rinsing your mouth, and then looked back over at him.

“What?” you asked self-consciously as you watched him take you in, hoping you looked better than you felt.

He walked over behind you and wrapped his arms around your body, looking at you in his arms, through the mirror in front of you two. He smiled to himself at the image of the two of you bonded together as if you were one. And from now on you were. He loved that. He still couldn’t believe how lucky he was to have you all to himself, forever.

“I was just thinkin’ about how happy ya make me,” Daryl replied with a smile over at you through the reflective mirror.

You smiled back at him, your heart melting at his words.

“Really?” you asked, nuzzling your head into his as you stared back at him through the mirror all feelings of discomfort leaving your body as suddenly as they had come on.

You wrapped your arms around his, that held you so securely, leaning back into his body with complete loving security as you fell back into him.

“So, you’re not sick of me yet?” you asked, looking up at him in the reflection with a happy, amused smile.

He leaned over and whispered into your ear.

“Not possible,” he said, focusing his eyes on yours this time as you two pivoted together.

“Yeah?” you asked as you turned around and into him.

You wrapped your arms loosely around his neck, smiling wider as he wrapped his arms protectively around your waist and pulled your body into his.

He smiled back at you, leaning over and nudging his nose up into yours, his lips ghosting yours as he stared deep into your eyes.

“I’ve never loved you more,” he admitted with a smile of pure admiration.

He then closed his eyes and pushed his lips to yours.

You sighed happily as he kissed your lips gently a few times and then pushed his tongue into your mouth. You melted into his kiss as his tongue swirled passionately around yours, feeling instantly better at the feeling of him.

His hands immediately started to roam your back as he kissed you with more hunger.

You could feel how hard he was as he walked the two of you back into the counter behind you. As soon as your ass hit the edge of the counter Daryl brought his hand down in between your legs. He pushed his hand down into your panties and began to rub your pussy up and down.

“Ohhh, baby…” you whimpered at the feeling, pulling your lips away from his as your body fell back at his touch.

He grunted to himself, rubbing his leg up and down your inner thigh, trying to give his hard cock some relief. He was always so ready for you.

You groaned with confused happiness as you felt his hard cock running up and down your thigh, turning you on even more as his fingers played with you.

He pushed his lips to the side of your neck and began to harshly kiss it.

“Daryl…” you whimpered, closing your eyes and smiling to yourself at the feeling of him loving up on you.

He pulled his fingers out of you and ran his hands over and cupped your ass, under the fabric of your nightshirt, pulling your core into his.

“I need you, baby,” he whispered into your ear as he ran his hands eagerly up and down your ass with pure need.

“Do you think we have time?” you asked, trying to stay logical while he drove you fucking crazy for him.

“They can wait,” he said, leaning back over and pushing his tongue back in your mouth. He grabbed ahold of your tongue and began to swirl it around as fast as he could this time, causing you to moan happily into his kiss, completely submitting to him.

He knew that was all the convincing you needed. He brought his hands to the sides of your panties. He pulled his lips from yours long enough to step back and push them down to the ground.

He brought his hands to his pants, unbuttoning and unzipping them in front of you.

You stepped out of your panties and watched as he popped open his pants and pushed them to the ground. He stood back up and your eyes went wide with excitement as you watched his throbbing cock pop up to the middle of his bare stomach.

No matter how many times you two were together you were always amazed at how much he always wanted you and how good he always felt inside of you.

He walked over to you and pulled your shirt up.

You quickly raised your arms and allowed him to pull it up and off of you.

He then slammed his hand down on the counter beside you, silently ordering you to hop up.

You obeyed, quickly hopping up onto the counter. You spread your legs and brought your hands to the sides of his body. You stared down and watched as he grabbed his cock, stroking it a few times before bringing it to your pussy.

He ran it up and down your folds a few times and then swiftly pushed himself inside of you.

“Ah!” you cried out in pure pleasure as he shoved himself inside of you so quick.

His hands came quickly to the sides of your hips and ass. He gripped them tightly and began to thrust into you with full fervor.

You leaned into him, wrapping your arms around his neck and your legs around his lower back as quickly as you could to endure the brunt of his excited cock. You looked into his eyes with pure happy disbelief as he started to fuck you the way only he could.

His jaw clenched at the pure look of loving desire in your eyes as he started to thrust harshly into you.

You whimpered and locked eyes with his, looking back at him with happy disbelief at the feeling.

He got lost at the look in your eyes, and how beautiful you were loving every second of him inside you. He stopped his cock’s motion just as suddenly as he had started it. He then wrapped his arms firmly around your body and pulled you up into his arms.

You quickly adjusted, wrapping your arms tightly around his neck and resecuring your legs around his waist as he picked you up off the counter into his arms, still deep inside you.

“What are you doing?” you asked with a happy smile as he started to walk you out of the bathroom and back to the bedroom you shared.

“They can wait a few extra minutes…” Daryl said sweetly, walking you both back to your bed and laid you down onto it.

You two climbed up the bed in perfect unison until your head was back on your pillow and he was back on top of you, just the way you loved it.

He looked over into your eyes with a soft-hearted happy smile, pressing his lips sweetly to yours a few times before finishing his thought.

“…I wanna love my wife down right, just the way she deserves,” he finished with that sweet smile you loved so much.

You smiled back up at him, running your hand softly up and down his neck as you took him in. He was the most amazing man you had ever met and sometimes you still felt like meeting him had all been just a dream. But here he was every day reminding you that he was oh so very real and so very much in love with you. You felt the exact same way and you couldn’t believe that you had found such a love in the strangest of times.

“I love you, Daryl,” you said softly and with pure sincerity in your eyes, wishing you could freeze this moment in time forever.

His smile widened, and he nodded, nudging his nose up into yours and ghosting his lips with yours as he looked deep into your eyes.

“I love ya too, Y/N… Always,” he whispered, looking down at you and getting lost in all that you were and all that you had brought into his life since knowing you.

He couldn’t wait to spend every second of every day with you. He knew he would never get tired of having you by his side. You were his love, his rock, his everything. And he still couldn’t believe that he got to keep you for the rest of your lives.

You ran your hands down to the sides of his neck and placed them there, rocking your hips up and down his with a playful smile on your lips as you goaded him forward.

“Good. Now fuck me, baby,” you said with a slight whine in your voice.

He cocked his eyebrow at this as his eyes turned dark with desire for you again.

“With pleasure,” he said with another dark smile and then began to thrust his cock in and out of you again.

He started fast, hitting into you with pure driven lust-filled passion.

You moaned loudly, running your hands down to grip his shoulders as his cock pushed your body up and down with pure pleasurable force.

“Yeah? Ya like that?!” He grunted with pure excitement as he watched you loving his cock.

“Yes! Don’t stop!” you cried out loudly, rocking your hips up and down with more need as you felt your high coming.

He could tell you were close, so he sped up and increase his pressure on your core, just the way he knew you loved it.

“Ohh…Yes!! Don’t stop!” you moaned happily with every hit from his amazing cock.

He gave you everything he had, slamming harshly into you faster and harder until your hips locked up into his and you came so fast for him.

“Oh, God!? Yes, baby!!” you cried out as you hit your high, closing your eyes with a smile on your face as you enjoyed the amazing feeling buzzing through your body.

“Damn, girl!” Daryl grunted at the feeling of your pussy convulsing happily over his cock and the look on your face.

He sped up his cock, jackhammering into your hilt as fast as he could until he slammed into you and exploded deep inside you.

“Fuck!” Daryl growled, clenching his jaw shut and glaring you down as he came so hard because of you.

He growled again, slamming his cock into you again, pushing your threshold, prolonging his high.

You smiled up at him, bringing your hands back to his hair to massage it as he collapsed on top of you, burying his head safely into the side of your neck. You nuzzled your head into his lovingly, running fingertips softly up and down his back.

He was panting away his high into your neck, causing shivers of bliss to breakout across your skin.

You two enjoyed the post-coital bliss for a few minutes in happy silence. After a few minutes of silent bliss, he began to kiss your neck repeatedly, silently thanking you for the amazing feeling you had just given him.

You lightly patted his back.

“I think we should get going, baby. I don’t want to be late for my first run,” you said reluctantly.

He nodded into your neck, kissing your neck a few more times before leaning back to look back into your beautiful eyes.

“Are ya sure I can’t convince ya to stay here?” he asked, knowing the answer, but needing to ask one more time anyway.

You shook your head.

“I am coming with whether you like it or not, Dixon,” you said with a resolved smile.

He nodded, reluctantly, knowing that that would be your answer.

He then pulled himself out of you and rolled over onto his back. He watched as you got up off of the bed and walked over to your dresser. He watched as you pulled out an outfit to wear. He smiled to himself, rubbing his stomach absentmindedly as he watched you put on your panties, jean shorts, and your favorite black tank top. You looked over at him as you grabbed a pair of socks, noticing the dumfounding look on his face, watching you as you got dressed.

“What’s that look?” you asked curiously, hopping up onto the dresser as you put on your socks, looking over at him curiously again when you were done.

“Nothin’, it’s just… If it’s possible you look more beautiful than you ever have this morning,” he said looking over at you with pure loving admiration in his eyes.

You smiled and rolled your eyes, hopping off of the dresser and putting your hands on your hips.

“Don’t think that sweet talk is going to make me change my mind, mister,” you said with a pointed smile over at him.

He laughed and nodded in agreement. He got up and walked over to you, putting his hand on the side of your face as he looked over at you.

“So, damn, stubborn,” he said with a smile.

You brought your hands to rest on his hips and leaned into him.

“We wouldn’t be here if I wasn’t,” you said with another pointed smile, leaning up to kiss him.

You were swirling your tongues passionately around one another, getting lost again in one another when there was a rap on the front door. You pulled your lips from his.

“I told you!” you said, turning to walk towards the bedroom door to answer the front door.

You turned back around and looked his naked body up and down with admiration one more time before turning serious as your eyes came back to his.

“Get dressed, Romeo. We’ve got to get going,” you said, giving him another smile before turning and walking out of the door.

You walked down the hallway to the front door. You opened it to find Michonne standing on the other side of it.

She nodded a stern hello to you. She, along with most of Daryl’s family still hadn’t warmed up to you much since you had moved here. You guess you couldn’t blame them after what your father had done to them. But still, you were hopeful that one day they would accept you as one of their own. At least for Daryl’s sake.

“You ready?” Michonne asked, pure business on her face.

“Yeah, just give us a minute. We’ll meet you at the gate shortly,” you said with an apologetic smile.

If Michonne noticed, she didn’t let on that she did. She just nodded militantly and turned to walk towards the gate, her sword secured tightly on her back.

You grimaced and shut the door.

You turned back around to see Daryl now fully dressed, walking toward you with an awe-filled smile still on his face after your wonderful morning together.

You forced a small smile, trying to deny how nervous you were about today.

Daryl noticed the change in your demeanor and the look on his face turned to concern. He walked up to you and brought his hands up to cup your face.

“What’s wrong?” he asked with worry on his face.

You shook your head.

“It’s nothing…It’s just I don’t think they’ll ever accept me, Daryl,” you said looking up at him sadly.

He shook his head and then planted a few loving kisses on your lips before looking back into your eyes with resolve.

“Hey, don’t say that. They will. They just need time,” he said, trying to reassure you.

You looked away and shrugged, your confidence in that ever happening was obviously not very high.

“Y/N, they will come around. I know it. But right now? I need you to be focused on the job at hand. Because there is no way I’m allowing you out there if you aren’t focused on staying safe,” he said, dipping down and forcing your eyes back to his.

You smiled and nodded in agreement, taking a deep breath before answering him.

“You’re right. Alright, I’ll get my boots on,” you said.

Daryl nodded in agreement, breathing a sigh of relief. It was bad enough you insisted on coming out there where there was danger around every corner. He couldn’t have you distracted.

You two put your boots on in silence.

Daryl grabbed his crossbow, slinging it over his back, securing the strap around his chest. Daryl handed you your belt, which had two knife holsters on it. You quickly slipped the belt around your belt loops, buckling it tightly. He then handed you two knives that he had welded for you. You grabbed them and holstered them securely on both your sides.

Daryl brought his hand to your chin, grabbing it securely, and then looked seriously into your eyes.

“You stay by my side at all times, got it?” he asked, worry flashing across his face as he thought about all that could happen to you, the most precious thing he had ever cared about.

You nodded, smiling up at him with reassurance.

“I promise,” you said, knowing how worried he really was to have you out there.

You? You couldn’t wait to step foot outside and finally be free from any kind of walls. But you also didn’t want to die either. So, you would do as Daryl said. Even if you usually would fight him on it. You didn’t want to mess up anything. You wanted to be with this man, here at his home, for as long as you could. Hopefully, forever. So, you agreed to his terms with sincerity.

Daryl searched your face with worry on his, trying to find any ounce of defiance in his order in yours. When he was sure there was none and that you had fully agreed he took a deep breath and nodded. He dropped his hands from your face and grabbed your hand, holding it tightly in his.

He nudged his head towards the door.

“Come on,” he said and then pulled you away with him out of the house.

You shut the door behind you and then walked hand in hand with Daryl down the steps of your house and the streets of Alexandria.

You looked around nervously as you locked eyes with people as you passed. Most gave you a look of unease, some even hid their children behind them protectively as you walked past them.

Daryl noticed, his heart pinging with sadness at the look of uneasy sadness on your face as you tried your hardest not to feel it fully.

He nudged your shoulder with his.

“Hey,” he said, waiting for your eyes to come back to his at his behest.

“You here with me?” he asked with concern.

You smiled over at him, getting lost in his eyes as you always did, and nodded. You leaned your head onto his shoulder and squeezed his hand tightly as you forced your eyes forward towards the gate.

“Always,” you said, smiling genuinely as you remembered the love you had for this amazing man and why you chose to endure this.

You reminded yourself that nothing and no one would ever get in the way of you two being together.

He smiled happily to himself, kissing the top of your head sweetly before forcing his own eyes ahead to the gate and to the group you were going out with today.

You and Daryl walked up to Michonne, Rick, and Aaron, hand in hand. You straightened out as you grew closer to the group, noticing their wary eyes as they took the image of you two together in.

Rick was the first one to walk towards you two, looking over at Daryl and nodding seriously over at him.

“You ready?” Rick asked him,

Daryl nodded, squeezing your hand with silent support for you.

“Yeah, *we’re* ready,” Daryl replied, emphasizing the fact that you were also here to help.

Rick nodded again, looking over at you with a hard apology in his eyes and demeanor.

“Y/N,” he said politely and then turned and walked back towards Michonne and Aaron.

You looked over at Daryl with unsure eyes again, your nerves getting the better of you.

He leaned over, kissed your forehead, and then cupped the side of your cheek with his free hand before speaking to you again.

“Don’t worry, Y/N. Just stay with me,” he said with a comforting smile.

You smiled back, relaxing a little at just how much you loved this man.

“Okay,” you said, nodding in agreement back to him.

He nodded back and then you both gave your attention back to the others. Rick and Daryl nodded to one another and then Rick began to tell you all what the plan was for today’s run.

“Alright, today’s mission is like any other, to get as much supplies as we can to bring back for our people. Michonne and I found an old-abandoned farm not too far from here. It is fenced in and as far as we can tell is free from walkers. We have spotted a big garden with plenty of food on the vines. It looks like this place has been well-tended to up until now. Not sure what happened to the people living there, but we are going to use their absence to our advantage. Aaron, Michonne, and I will take the truck while Daryl and Y/N, follow behind us,” Rick stated, looking over at you warily for a moment and then over to Daryl.

“Daryl your job is to make sure you give us a heads up if you see anyone coming, dead or alive,” Rick ordered.

Daryl nodded in agreement.

“Keep your walkies on at all times. But only use them if you have to. We don’t know who’s out there listening,” Rick instructed everyone.

He reached into the back of the truck and pulled out a walkie, bringing it over and handing it to you.

You took it and secured it behind you, clipping it to your jean shorts.

Rick then looked around at everyone with his ever serious eyes and tone.

“Let’s get out there and start re-building what has been taken from us,” Rick said, clenching his jaw and resisting the urge to glance back over at you with his comment.

That didn’t stop Michonne though, she looked straight into your eyes with a wary harsh glare.

You looked away, trying to ignore her glare and focus on the mission at hand. Which would hopefully begin to earn you some trust with these people.

“Alright, let’s head out,” Rick said, twirling his finger around in the air as he walked over to the driver’s side door.

He opened it and hopped inside. Aaron went to the other side and hopped in. Michonne climbed up onto the back of the truck bed, sitting and leaning against the back of the truck’s cab. She slammed her hand on the window above her, signaling to Rick that she was secure and ready to go.

“Come on,” Daryl said and pulled you over to his bike.

He dropped your hand and slung his leg over, sitting easily on the big piece of metal.

You followed him and slung your leg over, settling in behind him. You put your hands on his sides to secure yourself to him and the bike.

He looked back at you silently asking you if you were ready. You nodded and looked forward towards the gate with resolve.

Daryl kicked up his kickstand and pushed his foot harshly down onto the pedal below, igniting the engine with a loud roar.

You quickly wrapped your arms around his body and leaned yours into his with slight fear. You had never ridden his bike with him before. So, this would be another new experience for the two of you.

Daryl felt your tight grip on him and looked back at you with a smirk.

“Hold on, darlin’,” he said, his smirk widening at the sight of you, of all people, being so nervous.

“Shut up and drive, Dixon,” you said with a playful smile, trying to ignore the butterflies in your stomach.

Daryl smiled sweetly back at you as your spitfire nature returned to your being.

“Yes, ma’am,” Daryl said with another sweet smile over at you before turning his eyes and attention back to the road ahead.

The bike jolted ahead, and you watched as you both followed the truck to the gate.

The gate opened and away you all went. You held onto Daryl tightly as you took off together after the truck. You looked back and watched as the people quickly closed and locked the gate behind you, but not before you saw the look of anger on Sasha and Rosita’s faces as they did so.

You forced your mind and attention forward to the task at hand, ignoring the sudden urge to throw up again at the look on their faces. You took a few deep breaths trying to calm your upset stomach as you tried to focus on the mission at hand.

Daryl noticed your wavering body behind him, your grip loosening for a moment before you gripped him even tighter than before.

He looked back at you with concern.

“Ya alright?” he asked with a look of worry on his face.

You gulped back the sensation to puke because of your nerves and nodded over at him with a look of resolve on your face.

“Yeah. I’m okay, let’s just get this over with,” you said, your voice breaking at the end of your sentence, now wishing you hadn’t agreed to come out with him, but knowing you needed to prove your worth to the people your dad had wronged so deeply.

He looked you over with concern again and then nodded, turning his head and mind back toward the mission, knowing how important this was to you and the group.

You held on tightly to him as you all drove forward on the dirt road. You looked around and noticed a few walkers staggering slowly toward the sound of your vehicles far off into the distance. Your heart started to race as you watched them stretch out their arms following you. You shivered a little at the sight. You hugged Daryl, laying your head on his back and closing your eyes, trying to calm your nausea at the sight of the monsters.

You kept your eyes closed, hugging him tightly as the bike sped along, turning here and there until you felt it come to a stop.

Daryl kicked the kickstand down and the bike leaned to the side as it settled into its parked position.

You opened your eyes and noticed a big white farmhouse to the right of you. It was at least two stories with an attic. It was fenced in by a beautiful wooden fence that wrapped all the way around the property. There was a big red barn behind the house with a huge overgrown garden. From here you could see ripe tomatoes, cucumbers, corn, and what looked like squash growing under the massive vines.

You smiled at the sight of what looked like a glimpse of the old world. You imagined children running around playing in the yard while their parents watched them from their rocking chairs that now were empty on the front porch.

“We’re here,” Daryl said, looking back towards you, noticing you were still hugging him so tightly.

You rested your chin on his shoulder and looked over at him with the same happy smile.

“It’s beautiful here,” you said to him, a glimmer of hope filling your eyes at your vision of the future.

Daryl smiled softly back at you, knowing that look in your eyes by now.

“Yeah. It is,” he said softly, getting lost in your eyes for a moment until he heard the sound of the truck doors slamming shut.

“Come on, Y/N. Let’s get this done so I can get you back home,” he said with a nod of his head.

You sighed, slumping a little but nodded in agreement.

You let unwrapped your arms around him, bringing your hands up to his shoulders to brace on them as you swung off of the bike. Once your feet hit the gravel, your head started to spin a little, causing you to brace your hand on the side of his arm for a moment.

“What’s wrong?” Daryl asked, looking you over with concern again.

He had never seen you so off-kilter as you had been the past few days. He was starting to worry there was something wrong with you. And that worried him more than anything else in the world.

You shook your head, closing your eyes as your dizziness slowly subsided, bringing your hands to your hips as you steadied yourself.

“Nothing. I’m okay. I must just have some vertigo from the bike,” you said, trying to shake the dizziness from your being.

Rick, Michonne, and Aaron walked over to you two as Daryl swung his leg quickly over his bike and came to your side.

“You two ready?” Rick asked, looking over at the state of you, and then looked over at Daryl with confusion in his eyes.

You nodded, forcing your eyes to Rick’s.

“Yeah, we’re ready,” you said with hard resolve in your eyes.

You looked back at Daryl with a reassuring yet weak smile.

Daryl narrowed his eyes, looking you over with uncertainty. If it was up to him, he would have taken you home this instant to get you checked out by the Doc. But this was important to you. So, he nodded back to you and then forced his eyes back over to Rick’s.

“Yeah,” Daryl concurred, nodding over to Rick.

Rick looked you over again, noticing how sickly you looked, and then looked over at Aaron.

“Why don’t you two take the garden. Aaron, drive the truck up to it and you two can start filling the buckets with any vegetables you can find,” Rick instructed.

Aaron nodded, looking over at you with wary but kind eyes.

You looked over at Aaron and then back at Daryl with unease. Daryl noticed and leaned over to kiss your cheek and then whisper into your ear.

“It’s alright, Y/N. Aaron’s good people. I trust him with you,” he whispered, looking over at you with another reassuring smile.

You smiled back and nodded, taking a few deep breaths of courage before looking back at Rick for further instructions.

“Michonne, Daryl, you’re with me. We’re going to case the house and if it is empty, we will scavenge everything useful we can find. Grab the bags from the back of the truck and let’s get going,” Rick ordered with another hard nod at Daryl and Michonne.

They both nodded back. Michonne went to grab a couple of big duffel bags from the back of the truck.

Daryl looked over at you unsurely one more time before walking in front of you, turning his back on the others. He looked you over as he cupped your face, softly caressing the sides of them with his thumbs as he leaned down to kiss your forehead sweetly.

When he was done, he leaned back, his hands still securely hold onto your face, and spoke.

“Ya need anything, just call,” he said with sweet concern in his eyes.

You nodded, bringing your hand down to pat the top of his walkie on his hip as you answered.

“I will. I promise,” you said, leaning up to give him one last sweet kiss on his lips before dropping back to your feet.

“Be safe,” you said, your turn to think about all the things that could go wrong here.

“I’m comin’ back to ya, always. I promise ya that,” he said with nothing but pure love and admiration in his eyes as he looked you over.

Even after all this time, you were still the most beautiful thing he had ever laid his eyes on.

He nodded slowly, dropping his hands reluctantly from you after one more sweet kiss on your forehead.

You two nodded your silent goodbyes to one another and then Daryl turned back towards the group.

Daryl looked over at Aaron silently telling him to take care of you.

Aaron picked up on it right away and nodded back to him, showing Daryl that he would do whatever he could to make sure he kept you safe.

Once Daryl was convinced, he took one more loving look at you and then walked to the truck, grabbing two more duffel bags, and followed Michonne away towards the house. Rick nodded a polite goodbye to you and Aaron before grabbing two bags himself and following the other two.

You watched them all easily hop the fence and walk towards the farmhouse. Daryl looked back at you several times before forcing his focus forward.

You watched him walk away from you with nothing but a sad longing in your eyes. Every step away from you made your heart ache more.

“Well, I guess we should get started. Rick really does run a tight ship,” Aaron said, looking over at you with a reassuring smile.

You looked back over at him and noticed his pleasant demeanor toward you.

You offered a small smile back and nodded in agreement.

“Why don’t I open the gate. You can drive through, I’ll close it, and we can head over to the garden,” he suggested.

“Sure. Sounds good,” you agreed.

You started to walk over to the driver’s side door of the truck when Aaron placed his hand gently on your shoulder. This caused you to stop and look over at him curiously at his touch.

Aaron smiled over at you again.

“For what it’s worth? I feel the same way every time I have to leave Eric behind,” he said with a nod of his head and dropped his hand.

“Thanks,” you said offering him a sweeter smile this time at his olive branch towards you.

He nodded again and began to walk towards the gate of the fence just a few yards away.

You followed suit and walked over to the driver’s side door. You opened it and climbed inside, shutting it and starting the ignition. As you did so, you looked out your window, scanning the area for any signs of danger. You saw none. Instead, all you heard was the peaceful whipping of the wind and the cawing of birds in the air above you.

You started the engine and put the truck into drive, looking over and watching as Aaron opened the gate.

He ushered you and the truck over with his hands.

You stepped onto the gas pedal and slowly drove the truck over and into the property. You pressed your foot onto the brake pedal, holding it there as you watched Aaron shutting the gate in your side mirror. After he was done, he walked over to the passenger side door and swung it open. He climbed easily up into the cab and sat down, shutting the door and then nodding over at you.

“Alright, let’s get us some food,” he said with an easy smile, looking happily over at the overly plentiful garden ahead of you.

You smiled over at his easy nature and nodded in agreement, your stomach growling at the thought of food. You pressed your foot to the gas pedal and drove the truck right up alongside the overgrown garden.

You two looked over at it with happy smiles on your faces.

“Wow! Look at all that!” you said with enthusiasm.

Aaron nodded in agreement.

“Looks like we will eat well tonight. Let’s start gathering,” Aaron said, opening the door and quickly climbing down to grab two of the buckets from the back and then walked over to the garden.

You did the same, climbing down from the truck, grabbing two buckets of your own, and following him into the generous garden. You were careful not to step on the vines and the plants as you made your way inside of it, behind Aaron.

You stopped at the tomatoes, putting your buckets down, careful to move the plants aside to do so. You began to pick them, placing them carefully inside the bucket. You looked over with worry every so often at the house that Daryl had disappeared into with Rick and Michonne.

Aaron went to work picking the cucumbers, looking over at you curiously every so often. He noticed your obvious worry and love for Daryl, shaking his head and smiling to himself as he bent down to pick a few more.

“You know…Not to brag. But I am an excellent judge of character…” Aaron started locking eyes with yours as you two worked together.

“…And I think people are wrong about you,” he finished with a smile over at you.

You looked over at him, surprised by his words, but smiled graciously back over at him before responding.

“Really?” you asked with a surprised smile over at him as you continued working together.

Aaron smiled again and nodded.

“Really,” he said, turning his attention back to the task at hand.

You smiled over at him one more time before doing the same. You two picked veggies together in comfortable silence, filling up bucket after bucket under the hot Georgia sun. You started to feel faint again after a while and stood up, putting a hand on your forehead. You closed your eyes and focused on your breathing, feeling nausea hit you again.

Aaron noticed and immediately came to your side.

He looked you over with concern. He leaned down and grabbed a ripe tomato and handed it to you.

“Here. Eat somethin’,” Aaron said as he offered you the tomato.

You opened your eyes and nodded, gratefully taking the tomato and biting into it with exhausted hunger.

“Thanks,” you said before taking another famished bite.

“Here, why don’t you sit down,” Aaron said, taking your arm timidly and guiding you to a nearby gardening chair.

You obliged, your head spinning again.

Aaron helped you sit down and then walked over to the back of the truck. He pulled out a bottle of water and brought it quickly back over to you.

“Here, take a drink,” Aaron said, kneeling down and handing it to you.

You took it, quickly opening the top of the bottle and guzzling it down quickly.

You pulled the bottle from your lips and wiped your mouth with the back of your hand, taking in a few deep breaths of relief as your body thanked you for the nourishment. You smiled to yourself at the sense of satisfaction a moment before remembering you weren’t alone. You looked up at Aaron with a grateful nod as you handed him back the nearly empty bottle back.

He held his palm out at you.

“No, no. It looks like you need it more than I do,” Aaron said looking you over with concern again.

“Have you been feeling sick?” Aaron asked as he took in your state.

You shrugged, gulping down the last of the bottle before resting your arms on your thighs and responding to him.

“I’m alright. I’ve just been a little dizzy and sick to my stomach lately,” you admitted to him, looking longingly over at the house where Daryl was busy at work, wishing he was here to comfort you.

Aaron followed your lovesick gaze and smiled to himself before looking over at you again.

“Well, I don’t want to tell you what to do by any means. But I’d definitely pay a visit to the Doc when we get back,” he said.

You looked over at him quizzically.

“Why? I don’t have a fever or anything. Maybe just some vertigo,” you said, looking up at him with question.

Aaron laughed a little to himself again and then looked over at you.

“There might be more than just a fever you should know about,” he said looking pointedly at you before walking back over to continue his task.

You looked back at the house, wishing you would see Daryl emerge already, completely confused at what Aaron meant.

You felt better after having something to eat and the water. After another few moments of rest, you walked back over and helped him finish salvaging the garden.

After a while longer, you looked up at the house and noticed the trio finally exiting the house, Daryl following Rick and Michonne out with what looked like full duffel bags in each of their hands.

You breathed a sigh of relief, standing up and smiling happily to yourself at the sight of him walking back to you.

He walked down the steps with the two bags in his hands and looked over at you from the distance between you two.

You quickly put the last few squash on the vines below your feet into the bucket beside you and walked over to him.

You ignored Rick and Michonne’s eyes on you completely as you two walked into the middle of the yard, finally reunited with one another. You walked swiftly into him and hugged him wholeheartedly, loving the feeling of your bodies and souls being reunited after what had seemed like forever to you.

He dropped his bags just in time, and wrapped his big, beautiful arms around you, lifting you up into him for a great big bear hug.

You wrapped your arms around his neck as he did so, hugging him tightly as you kissed his neck and then rested your head on the side of his shoulder. You held onto him tightly, tighter than you ever had as you smiled to yourself at the feeling of being back in his arms.

He dropped you back to your feet and you looked up at him like he had been gone forever.

“I was only gone a little while,” he said with a small smile at the look of pure love in your eyes for his return to you.

“I know. I just missed you,” you said with a sweet smile, your nerves finally calming at the sight of him safe and okay.

He smiled sweetly over at your relief to have him back with you. He brought his hand up to cup the side of your face, silently telling you how much he loved you too with only his eyes, and then kissed your forehead.

“Come on. Let’s go home,” Daryl said with another sweet smile.

You nodded, trying to fight your nerves as you turned around to face the group again.

Daryl picked up the bags and followed you over to the truck parked near the garden. You looked over at Aaron and smiled gratefully over at him for being so kind to you today.

He smiled and nodded a silent your welcome before loading up the last two buckets that were filled with veggies from the garden.

Daryl, Rick, and Michonne all dropped their filled bags into the back of the truck. Rick looked over the harvested food and the filled bags with a hopeful smile on his face, the first time in a long time he had been able to do that.

He looked over at you for a second. He had to admit that all of this was theirs to keep because of you and what you had done for them and their community. He nodded a silent thank you to you, much to your surprise.

Daryl walked over and grabbed your hand holding it in his as he stood there protectively by your side.

Rick noticed this and nodded over at Daryl with a silent apology.

Daryl nodded back.

You watched as the two men made their apologies in complete silence, smiling to yourself as you watched Daryl’s shoulders relax a bit afterward.

“Alright, let’s get this back to Alexandria and start going through what we’ve found today. Good job, everyone,” Rick said, looking over at you with one last polite nod before he turned and walked to the driver’s side of the truck.

Michonne climbed into the back of the truck reclaiming her position at the back of the cab. Aaron was about to get into the truck when he looked over at you and Daryl.

“Daryl, you have a second?” Aaron asked him.

Daryl looked over at him curiously and nodded.

Daryl’s hand dropped away from yours and you watched Aaron and Daryl walk a few feet away from everyone. You couldn’t hear what they were saying, but they both looked over at you with concern in their eyes as they began to walk back over to the group. Daryl patted Aaron on the shoulder and then walked back over to you.

“Come on,” Daryl said, grabbing your hand and walking you back over to his bike.

“What was that about?” you asked as you walked away with him.

He looked you over with concern again before bringing his worried eyes back to yours.

“Aaron said we should get you to the Doc when we get back. Said he was worried ya might have somethin’,” he said.

You nodded in complete agreement with him for once. You held your hand to your stomach as another wave of nausea hit you.

“Yeah. I have been feeling pretty sick lately. Maybe that’s a good idea,” you said, taking a few deep breaths as you tried to calm your stomach.

“Ya alright to ride back with me?” he asked, noticing you were sick to your stomach again.

You nodded.

“Yeah, let’s just get home,” you said with a weak smile.

He nodded, looking over at you with concern again before forcing his eyes and feet forward. He walked you both back to his bike and slung himself over, sitting down on the seat. He moved forward to allow room for you and nudged his head back to you.

“Get one,” he instructed as he kicked up the kickstand and revved the engine to life.

You quickly got on behind him, wrapping your arms securely behind him and resting your head on his back. You closed your eyes as the bike jolted forward. You tried to focus on the cool air that blew across your face as you two rode back to Alexandria, following behind Rick and the truck.

When you got back to Alexandria, you opened your eyes, watching Daryl idle watching impatiently for the gate to open. Once it did, you all drove through. You heard the gate clink shut from behind you. Daryl drove you right up to the Doc’s house, parking the bike on the side of the road.

You sighed in relief at the feeling of the bike coming to a halt. Daryl put out the kickstand. You brought your hands back to his shoulders and braced on them as you weakly got down off the bike. You stood there in a haze for a moment before your hand came to your mouth and you gagged. You quickly walked over to some nearby bushes and threw up the water and tomato you had eaten.

“Ick…” you muttered to yourself as you wiped your mouth, your eyes watering with sick pain in your eyes.

Daryl was beside you in an instant, rubbing your back softly as you purged your system.

You looked over at him with an embarrassed smile.

“Well, that’s a new milestone for us. I’m sorry,” you said with another weak smile as you clutched your stomach.

“Don’t be. Let’s just get you in there and see how the Doc can help,” he said with nothing but sympathy for you in his eyes.

He didn’t like seeing you in pain or discomfort.

You nodded, letting him take your hand and walk you both to the front door. Daryl knocked loudly on the front door, pounding on it until it opened.

“Alright, alright, I’m coming,” the Doc said as he swung the door open, looking at Daryl with slight annoyance.

He then looked over at you and noticed the state of you. Your face was clammy, and you looked like you were about to fall over.

“Come in. Come in,” he said stepping aside and ushering you both inside.

Daryl helped guide you inside of the house, following the Doc as he walked you both to the backroom that was frequently used for examinations.

“She’s been feelin’ real sick lately, Doc. You’ve got to look her over,” Daryl said looking you over with worry again.

You noticed this and smiled up at him reassuringly.

“I’m sure it’s fine, Daryl. It’s probably just a stomach bug,” you said, squeezing his hand tighter.

Daryl licked his lips and nodded repeatedly, trying to believe that it was something minor. But in this world, he was too scared of losing you not to go to the extremes inside his head.

“Daryl, why don’t you wait outside while I look her over,” the Doc said, putting his black stethoscope around his neck.

“Go ahead, Daryl. I’m okay,” you said, noticing the look of defiance in his eyes.

He looked you over to make sure you meant your words. When he was sure you did, he nodded again and kissed your cheek.

“I’ll be right outside those doors,” he said, cupping your face as he stared deeply into your eyes.

You nodded, smiling sweetly back at him.

“Go,” you said softly, squeezing his hand one more time before dropping it from his.

He nodded, looking over at you warily one more time before he dropped his hands from you and turned to walk out the door. Before he left, he looked back at you again and said, “I’ll be right here.”

You nodded, smiling happily back at him before you turned your attention to the Doc. You heard Daryl close the door as you smiled politely over at the Doc.

“Why don’t you come sit down and I’ll take a look,” the Doc said, gesturing with his hand to sit on the cot set up in the middle of the room.

You obeyed and sat on the cot with your hands in your lap.

“So, how have you been feeling lately,” he asked, taking a look into each of your eyes before moving his hands down to your neck, checking your lymph nodes.

“I guess I have been more tired than usual, and I’ve been really sick to my stomach lately,” you said.

“Mhm,” the Doc said, putting the stethoscope earbuds into his ears, bringing the flat plate over to your chest.

“Take a few deep breaths,” he said, placing the plate on your chest.

You took a few slow deep breaths as he placed the plate around your chest, listening intently.

After a few more deep breaths, he dropped the plate and took the earbuds out of his ears, hanging it back around his neck. He brought his hands to your stomach, pressing on it near your side.

“Does this hurt?” he asked, checking the area where your appendix was located.

“No,” you answered.

“Have you been having any aches and pains lately?” he asked.

You shrugged.

“I mean aside from the usual wear and tear I guess my body has seemed more tender than usual,” you said.

“Where has it been tender?” he asked you.

You looked up at him embarrassed as you gestured to your breasts.

He nodded again, walking over to a big cabinet, opening the doors, and grabbing something inside of it.

“Any motion sickness?” he asked, holding something in his hand as he walked back over to you.

“Yes, definitely,” you said, nodding as you peered curiously over at whatever was in his hand.

“Here, I think you should take this test,” he said and handed you a box.

You took it from him and looked over at it curiously.

It was a pregnancy test.

You looked up at him in pure shock.

He laughed a little at your reaction.

“I don’t see any symptoms of inflamed lymph nodes or an inflamed appendix. The symptoms you are describing can also be the symptoms of a woman’s first trimester,” he said, matter-of-factly.

You stared down at the box in your hand and nodded, still in shock at this.

“When was the last time you had your period?” he asked.

You searched your mind.

“I guess it has been quite a while,” you admitted, just now realizing how late you were.

“You can use the bathroom back there if you would like,” the Doc said, gesturing to a door behind you.

You looked over at the closed door where Daryl had exited, wondering if you should tell him. You decided to wait until you yourself knew for sure. You slowly got up and walked over to the bathroom door in a haze.

You walked inside, closing and locking the door behind you. You unbuttoned your jean shorts and pulled them and your panties down as you sat down on the toilet. You opened the box, taking the test stick out from the packaging. You read the instructions carefully, one line meant no, and two lines meant yes.

You brought the stick down, shifting awkwardly as you tried to line it up, and then began peeing. You took the stick out after you had wettened it and set it on the edge of the sink next to you. You wiped and got up fastening your shorts and walking over to the sink. You stared at yourself in the mirror as you washed your hands clean.

Were you really ready to be a mother? You wondered. You looked up at the clock on the wall, marking the time. The box said you had to wait five minutes. You walked over at sat down on the edge of the tub to wait, staring at your hands as your mind raced with so many thoughts and questions.

You tried to stay calm, reminding yourself that it could be negative. Then your thoughts turned to Daryl. You smiled to yourself at the thought of him holding your child making them laugh or smile. You thought about how much you had wanted a family with him. You just didn’t know it would happen so soon. Although would you really be that surprised with how active you two had been since day one?

You stared up at the clock every so often, lost in your confused thoughts until it was time to look.

The clock ticked to the five-minute mark. You ran your hands up and down your thighs a few times before you took a deep breath and got up. You walked over to the sink and picked up the stick.

It was Positive.

Your stomach did a flip at the sight of the positive result. You felt like you were in a dream as you set it back down on the sink and walked back out into the Doc’s exam room.

From the look of shock on your face, the Doc figured out the answer.

You didn’t even look at him as you slowly walked over to the door and opened it.

Daryl quickly rose to his feet, looking you over with concern. His hands came to your body, bringing them back to your face to cup it.

You had the strangest shocked look on your face, which immediately made him think something was wrong.

“What’s wrong, Y/N? Is everything alright?” he asked as he checked you over with anxious panic now.

You slowly nodded, bringing your in-shock eyes back to his.

“I’m-I’m pregnant,” you said, looking over at him in pure shock as you pushed out the words.

Daryl’s hands dropped from your face and he stepped back a bit, looking over at you with his own pure shock in his eyes.

“What?” he asked, feeling like he had misheard you.

“I’m pregnant,” you said with more conviction this time.

Daryl stared over at you in disbelief for a few seconds before walking into you and wrapping you up into his arms, giving you a big hug.

You smiled and laughed a little at the sheer force of his happy hug. After what seemed like a five-minute hug, he finally brought his hands to your shoulders, pulling you two apart just enough to be able to see your face again.

He had the happiest smile on his face that you had ever seen. You even thought you saw a few tears starting but he quickly pushed them away.

The Doc came over with a happy smile.

“Congratulations you two, you’re going to be parents,” he said, reaching his hand out to shake Daryl’s.

Daryl took it shaking it firmly as he brought his attention to the Doc.

“Is she gonna be okay? How far along is she? What do I need to do for her?” Daryl asked, suddenly having a million questions running through his mind.

The Doc chuckled a little before responding.

“She’s going to be just fine, Daryl. We’ll set up a weekly appointment for her to make sure we catch anything that could be problematic. In the meantime, she will need lots of rest. So, I would suggest no more runs for her unless it is absolutely necessary. Times have obviously changed. The body can fall prey easier to pregnancy without technology to help guide us. So, the less strain she puts on her body the better,” the Doc said to Daryl.

Daryl nodded, already making a list in his mind of all of the things you were no longer going to be doing.

“As for how far along, if I had to guess I would say you are around 5 or 6 weeks pregnant,” he said to you.

You looked down at your stomach, placing your hand on it. It was mind-boggling to you that you had been with this child for so long already and didn’t know it.

“Get plenty of rest and I’d suggest more soup-based meals until your morning sickness subsides. Your body will tell you what it needs with your cravings and we will do the best we can to accommodate that. I’ll also put prenatal vitamins on the next run list for you,” the Doctor said to you both.

“Just tell me where to look and I’ll get them,” Daryl said to the Doc.

The Doc nodded back to him.

“Very good, I’ll plot you out a map of places that could have them and get it to you by the morning,” he replied.

He then looked over at you two with another smile.

“I’ll let you two settle into the news. But if you have any more questions you know where to find me,” he said, nodding politely again before walking back into the exam room and closing the door behind him.

Daryl looked back at you.

You both stared at each other in shocked silence for a minute before you spoke, still holding your hand protectively over your stomach.

“Are you…okay with this?” you asked with slight worry on your face that he might not be.

He cupped the side of your face and looked lovingly back into your eyes.

“Are ya kidding me, Y/N? I can’t wait to meet our little creation,” he said with a sappy smile on his lips.

You smiled back up and him and nodded, imagining the spitfire that you two probably created.

“Ya just keep surprisin’ me, Y/N…” he said, tenderly caressing your cheek with his thumb as he looked at you in complete awe.

“I love you, Y/N. And I’m gonna love this kid just as much,” he said, with a happy dumbstruck smile.

You smiled sweetly back over at him. The look of pure love in his eyes squashed any doubt you had in your mind about this being a mistake. He was going to be a great dad.

“I love you, too, Daryl,” you said in awe of him, even more so now than ever before.

Whatever came next, you knew he would take care of you and this child so damn well…

—–

Tagged: @katieswinforddiaries @rawr-bitches@jodiereedus22@whovianayesha @hearydaysquite @kal-kal28 @team-barry@simpledyiing@sesshomaru @khyharah @dashesoflipstick @tiquismiquis@dunne31@bryai003 @ketxo @justaclumsybrunette @clinicalkayla@teamfreewiffy@kawaiirepublic @letusunalivethem @nicolesyneah25 @i-sing-the-body-elektra @deeindarkwonderland @reoccuringfate @imagine-all-the-imagines@megandrawsspace @professsionalsinner @kbnix23@maddybeck01@kingdixonreedus @isayweallgetdrunk@wadeyourebarelyalive@anna1012131@otakuforlife12@youandyourstupidrope @reedus87 @ass-kicker-daryl@benerchic @derpypenguin @bigbaldheadfangirl @daryldixon-addicted@shinydixon @blondielovesr5-blog @stilinskibarnes @alyisdead@addiction-survivor25 @isayweallgetdrunk @cleohalestilinski@reedusteinrambles @betty-rage527 @ladybuglolly @super-who-nerd@alaska00young@fiftypercentmoreintoyou @mwesterfeld1985@sapphire1727 @the-moose-of-baskerville @purplejellybean @katiescrotch@coffeebooksandfandom@captainhopelessromantik-808 @kjs1939 @colagirl5@uniquewerewolfsuit@princessxpunk @toxic-ink @deepsouth @dixon-daryl@azanoni@lucilepiewhiskey @forsakensiren @kclark14love@girlyfandomfighter13@sweet-things-4-life @dragongirl420 @twd-daryl@cbarter @the-writingdead@sarahdearr @redm81 @alyisdead @serfyan18@morphinetune@dragongirl420 @momc95 @art-flirt @evilangelqueen@chelbyswartz20 @serfyan18 @alyisdead @bitchassbecky691 @mtngirlforever@evilangelqueen @lokispunisher jules-ette lizzyhowie69@robindixon redm81rhochradel @beegnc heyitscam99 serfyan18 mrs-amendolarussosprettydiamondnow supernal-blyss rasax45 alilarkin99@simons-savior86 xbeckydixonx apricotlion sleepylunarwolf colagirl5 pxstelinkazanonikatiebug0603 sassi-luna beltzboys2015-blog rivaille-the-shortsynestra88synestra88 lana-del-dick smoothdogsgirlmustbeaweasleygingerwilde-abandonlucacangettathisass automaticstarlightcollectionl rivaille-the-short russosprettydiamondnow smoothdogsgirl colagirl5 twisted-tasty14 @justgipsy sizzlingcheesecakeglitterbomb @the-wintergirl @justrepostandlove @risingphoenix761 @rhyatt-deauxtreve awkwardlysexualvelociraptor driszzle natalie-reader xqueenunicornxx deliciousassafrasssandwich littleblackwolf016 princessxpunk lonewolf471 killer-mermaid93 chocolatealmondmillk mblaqgi jellyfishangel dotslabyrinth @isayweallgetdrunk @baseballbitch116 lonewolf471 @jender123 @madamwhisper @kazeouki-tan @nayyysa rosa-berberifolia @lady-dixon-riddick paintballkid711 ly--canthrope themonstermash-graveyardsmash lonewolf471 @elisdays @leej2468 sophia-gwendolyn storybookhall courtnytrash04 fuseburner lucillethings

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twistedlymad · 4 years

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Reader Giving Into Darkness (Overblotting Reader)

Hewwo everyone! I hope you guys are fine and having a lovely time!

First off, I’d like to apologize for the inactivity for these past few days, I caught a fever last Saturday and I had to do some editing work for Sunday, so, I didn’t really write a lot last Saturday and Sunday. Don’t worry though! I’m fine now and I immediately jumped back into writing!

Secondly, this fic was supposedly to be an overblotting reader fic, but now, after writing and proof-reading it, it doesn’t seem like an overblotting reader story, more like, reader gave way for darkness to take over them. I have no idea anymore haha! I will most probably write another story for overblotting reader depending on how this one goes. (Also tell me if you want a part 2 to this, for now, I haven’t got one planned yet)

Third, I’d like to thank you guys once again for supporting me so much! I do hope you’ll enjoy this story that I’ve written! Thank you for reading and have a lovely day! (Story is under the cut uwu)

It was a pretty mundane day at Night Raven College. You’ve got your daily dose of chaos, your classes went along swimmingly and surprisingly, no fights occurred between your group of dumbass friends! I would even say that it was a boring day!

Or had it really been a mundane day?

You were on your way back to your class after helping Professor Trein run a small little errand, he needed to have a few paperwork submitted but Lucius had fallen asleep on his lap. You volunteered to go in his place instead since you needed some fresh air after sitting at a desk for an entire day. You brought Grim along since the furball wanted to tag along with you.

You were humming softly to yourself as you cheerfully made your way, you couldn’t wait to sit with your friends again and continue your day happily.

“Fgnaaa, you seem to be in a really good mood today (Y/N).” Grim said from your embrace, you giggled in response to his words.

“Well, today has been a really good day so far! I’m sure that today will be a perfect day.” You said as you let a smile grace on your face.

“Well, whatever you say (Y/N).” Grim said as he let out a small yawn.

However, when you got to the doorway of your class, your ears picked up on a few chatters of familiar voices.

You were about to enter your classroom but you had halted yourself just behind the doorframe for you had heard your name being mentioned. You didn’t want to enter your class just yet, for some reason, you had wanted to hear what the chatter was about and why it involved your name.

“(Y/N) doesn’t need to know.” One of the voices said.

“Why did we even ask (Y/N) in the first place?” A second voice asked.

“Yea, it’s not like it’ll be any help to us anyway, after all, (Y/N) can’t use magic.” Another voice piped up, agreeing with the first two voices.

“Let’s not mention this when (Y/N) comes back later, this’ll remain between us.” The first voice said once more and you heard a few grunts and hums of agreement from a few different voices.

You slowly lowered your head as you leaned against the doorframe of your classroom. Those voices were all too familiar to you, for they were the voices of your best friends, the ones that you had spent so many time with, the ones that you had went through the most with, the ones that you had trusted yourself with.

You felt as if you had been slapped in the face harshly after hearing the voices that you had felt safe with associate themselves with such words.

Slowly squatting down, you released Grim from your embrace and onto the ground. The furball faced you with a sad look on his face.

“(Y/N)… They-” Grim started but he was cut off by you gently pressing your index finger on his mouth.

“It’s okay, I’m fine.” You said with a smile on your face.

“We still have some time before class right? I’ll be going for a little walk then.” You said as you stood back up and walked away. Grim looked at you with worry as he stayed in his place, his eyes locked onto your leaving figure. You knew he was watching, so you took a sharp turn, letting a wall come between his stare and your figure.

Once you knew that you weren’t being watched anymore, you ran as fast as you could, adrenaline was pumping through your veins as your vision began to blur. You weren’t sure where you were running to, you just wanted to get out of that place, as far as possible.

Unbeknownst to you, a figure had been watching the whole event and they were smirking to themselves the entire time.

“According to plan I see… Excellent.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After running for what seemed like hours, you find yourself in a forest, surrounded by trees, the only sounds that you heard were the chirping of various animals and insects that inhabited it. You sat down under one of the tall trees while taking deep breaths in hopes to help soothe yourself. You wiped away your tears as they flowed.

The chatter of your friends rang in your head as you reminisced your memories with them, as if whenever you tried to remind yourself of all the good times you had with them, the chatter would be there to tell you that it was all fake.

“They don’t care for you.” Suddenly, an unfamiliar voice spoke out. Or had it been an unfamiliar voice?

You frantically looked around, searching for the source of the voice. It took you some time before your eyes landed on a small little puddle of water beside you, your reflection was as clear as sky as you looked.

So it did give you quite the scare when your reflection suddenly spoke up while you didn’t.

“Don’t mind them, you don’t need them.” Your reflection said to you.

“What?” You asked as you took a closer look at the puddle. You rubbed your eyes to make sure that what you were seeing was real. You wanted to make sure that you weren’t dreamin-

“Oh, you’re not dreaming, don’t worry about that.” Your reflection said, as if it had read your thoughts.

“No. They do, I am their friend after all.” You huffed and stood up, arguing to your reflection’s previous statement. You didn’t want to question the existence of your talking reflection, after all, you were in Twisted Wonderland, a place where magic is real and almost anything can happen, even talking reflections. Heck, take the mirror of darkness for an example.

“Besides, they could be talking about anything! Maybe they were talking about homework. I just overreacted, that’s all.” You replied further to your reflection as well as reassuring yourself.

“Are you entirely sure?” Your reflection asked you once more. “You heard what they said loud and clear.” It said to you. You took in a deep breath through clenched teeth as you closed your eyes and turned away, hugging yourself as you tried to walk away. You wanted to ignore your reflection, you thought that it was just giving negative feedback on the events that had already happen, you wanted to believe that your friends were possibly talking about something else.

But you were shocked when you heard the next sentence come out of your reflection’s mouth.

“Friends don’t talk to friends like that.”

You whipped your head around immediately, looking at the puddle as beads of tears formed in and fell from your eyes. Your reflection was right after all, friends don’t talk to friends like that, friends will tell you their problems straight away, friends don’t hide secrets about friends and most importantly…

True friends don’t talk about friends behind their backs.

As you were buried deep in your thoughts, your reflection smirked a little after seeing the look of hurt on your face. It waited for a few seconds before continuing its statement.

“Don’t worry, like I’ve said, you don’t need them. You only need me.” Your reflection said with a smirk. “After all, I am a part of you.”

“A part… Of me?” You asked, you didn’t completely understand what your reflection had meant by its words.

“Yes, for I am your conscience, I know what you need right now and that’s me.” Your reflection said to you. It then wiped off the smirk it had on its face and extended its hand towards you.

“Take my hand.” It said. “I promise you, with me, you won’t ever feel heartbreak anymore, you won’t ever experience betrayal anymore and you don’t need anything else, you just need me.”

“But, my friends-“ But before you could finish your sentence, you were cut off by your reflection.

“They don’t want you! You only need me!” Your reflection yelled, clearing its throat, it told you once more.

“Take my hand.”

You hesitated. You didn’t want to take the hand, you knew that it was dangerous. But, the chatter of your friends continued to repeat itself in your head, its ringing was making your head spin and drowning out your sense of danger and uncertainty, making you temporarily forget all the good times you had with them and all the happiness you had experienced with them.

As the ringing in your head continued, you felt confused and broken, you didn’t know what to do. Your heart ached as you remembered the memories you made with your friends, for everything was fake. The happiness, the sadness, the trust, the comfort, everything had been fake.

You just wanted this feeling to stop.

Then, the ringing of your friends’ chatter in your head was soon replaced by the chanting of your reflection’s offer. Your reflection seemed to be so welcoming, you felt as if only your reflection understood you, you felt as if you could trust yourself with it, after all, it is a part of you, right?

Surely you could trust yourself with yourself.

So, you took a deep breath and closed your eyes as you extended your own hand towards your reflection. Placing your hand on your reflection’s, you felt your hand being gripped by it. You then opened your eyes to see that your reflection was holding your hand rather firmly with a peaceful look on its face.

But all of a sudden, your reflection looked back at you with a sharp look, its mouth twisted upwards into a menacing smirk as it tightened the grip it had on your hand. You let out a small gasp as you tried to pull your hand away, but you didn’t succeed, the grip on your hand was far too strong.

A black cloud began to form on your gripped hand as your reflection cackled. You finally managed to disconnect your hand from your reflection’s when you forcefully pulled your hand away. When you inspected your hand, your eyes could only widen in horror as you saw the cloud that continued to linger on your hand.

And it was slowly spreading.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Grim had managed to get your friends’ attention as he questioned the harsh choice of words of your friends, but, your friends only looked at him in confusion as he did so.

“What do you mean Grim? We never said anything like that.” One of your friends replied.

“Fgnaaaaa! Don’t lie to me! Me and (Y/N) clearly heard you guys say those words.” Grim said angrily.

“But, Grim, we were doing homework, plus, we couldn’t talk since the professor was there.” Another friend stated. Grim froze in his place as he realized that he had just seen the professor leave the classroom as you were running away.

So, how did that chatter even happen? If it wasn’t from your friends, then…

“Oh no.” Grim said with a grim look on his face.

“What’s wrong Grim? Is everything okay?”

“No. You guys need to follow me. NOW.” Grim ordered your friends as he ran out the classroom, your friends gave each other a look of worry before rising from their seats and followed the furball.

Your friends had a hard time catching up with Grim as he swiftly navigated his way through the busy hallways of the school. Your friends were yelling questions to him, wanting answers for this sudden change of behavior.

“Just, follow me!! I don’t think (Y/N) is safe!!” Grim yelled back, hoping that his answer would satisfy the curiosity of your friends. As the furball ran, he was buried deep in his thoughts as well.

‘I hope you’re there (Y/N), you always go there whenever something’s wrong, please be there, please be safe… Please.’ Grim thought to himself as he continued to run, eventually running into a forest, the exact same forest that you were in.

However, when they got to you, it was already too late. Your figure was surrounded in a cloud of sheer blackness, leaving only your torso and head available. The cloud slowly rose up, covering your entire body little by little. It was getting hard for you to breathe, your body felt numb, you couldn’t move any parts of your body.

You were panicking, afraid that your friends will get injured just because you had made a wrong decision. You were also afraid for your own life, for you knew what was happening to yourself all too well. You’ve always managed to save the others from this situation, yet you have never thought that it would happen to yourself.

You thought that since you didn’t have magic, it would never happen to you.

Yet, here you are, experiencing the exact same thing that had happened to some of your friends.

“(Y/N)!” Your friends yelled for you, their faces donned looks of pure fear and shock.

You gave them one last look, it was a very interesting look.

It was a look of worry,

Yet it was also a look of sorry,

A look of terror,

And a look of horror.

Tears flowed out your eyes as the cloud slowly engulfed your torso and is partially engulfing your head. With one last breath, you muttered the following words:

“Run… Save… Yourselves…”

Darkness had consumed you as your vision was clouded by pitch black. You felt tired, sleepy, drowsy, your eyelids were heavy and they were drooping on their own. Yet, you tried to fight it, you weren’t going to it control your body with such ease. But it was no use, you had already accepted the darkness when you accepted your reflection’s hand.

Your friend’s smiling faces were the last thing on your mind as you fell into a deep slumber.

As the cloud began to disperse, everyone just stood there, looking at your figure that stood before them, or rather, what was once your figure.

“(Y/N)…” Your friends called out your name softly as they stared at the monstrous and black form you had donned on.

“We have to fight her to save her.” Grim said.

“We have no choice.” The furball continued as your friends nodded in agreement.

‘Hang on (Y/N), please, for us.’ Was the only thought on everyone’s minds as they readied their magic pens.

Let’s just hope they could save you like how you saved them.

#disney twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland #twst #twisted wonderland x reader #twst x reader #grim #mc/yuu #overblotting mc #overblot #twst imagines #twst fic #twisted wonderland fic #twst headcanons #twisted wonderland imagines #twisted wonderland headcanons

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robininthelabyrinth · 3 years

Text

Fire and Light (ao3) - on tumblr: part 1, part 2, part 3, part 4, part 5, part 6, part 7

- Chapter 8 -

A small group of sects unexpectedly announced that they wanted Wen Ruohan to adjudicate a boundary line dispute – some were affiliated with the Jiang sect, others with the Jin, and they wanted a neutral party. Wen Ruohan was pleased, even smug, that they had chosen him rather than the Lan sect, which with its righteous reputation was more typically called upon to mediate for the other sects.

“Maybe none of them have a good argument,” Nie Huaisang mused. “They’re all awful, and they want someone more self-absorbed than either side to broker something out.”

“Not everyone is awful, Huaisang,” Nie Mingjue said, tucking the blankets around him. “Most people are good. Besides, there are some pretty renowned sects involved, so even if it’s true, you shouldn’t say it.”

Nie Huaisang heaved a sigh. “But da-ge –”

“Time for medicine,” Nie Mingjue said firmly, and lifted the bowl to his lips.

Nie Huaisang had a mild case of food poisoning, causing a stomachache, vomiting and a low-grade fever – Wen Qing had determined that it wasn’t infectious, but also, rather grimly, figured out that the source of the illness was most likely a particular treat that Nie Huaisang had generously shared with both her and Wen Chao, and sure enough they were both bedridden less than a day later. Luckily, Wen Qing had had enough time to boil the base for the medicine they needed, and while he wasn’t at her level, much less the now-absent Wen Ning’s, even Nie Mingjue could follow directions well enough to add the final ingredients right before serving.

(Even Wen Zhuliu, who remained Wen Chao’s bodyguard despite their best efforts, had fallen ill, except his version had been significantly worse – more or less non-stop emissions out both ends, and out of self-preservation Nie Mingjue had insisted that he remain in the servants’ quarters far away from all of them.)

Nie Huaisang finished drinking the medicine, making a face that only went away when Nie Mingjue stuffed something sweet into his mouth to help get rid of the taste. “Will you be all right helping out?”

“Of course I will,” Nie Mingjue said. “I haven’t forgotten how to help host a party.”

“No, I meant…”

Nie Mingjue shrugged. Normally, Wen Ruohan had enough concern for his face to prefer that Nie Mingjue avoid showing his own shortly after he’d been insolent enough to warrant punishment, but due to the food poisoning they were short on young masters to greet all the incoming people – and their guests were too important not to be greeted by someone with status.

“I’ll use some powder, it’ll be fine,” he said. “And anyway, even if someone notices, it’s not like they would be bold enough to comment; they’re here to ask Sect Leader Wen for a favor, after all. Who will even pay attention to me long enough to notice?”

The answer, Nie Mingjue swiftly learned, was Yu Ming, a crotchety old grandmother from Meishan Yu in Sichuan who didn’t like the food (not spicy enough), her chair (the first one was too rickety, the second too soft), her peers (idiots, all of them), her drink (they’d served tea and she wanted wine, and then later on it was the other way around), and, most problematically, was one of the more influential sect leaders on the Jiang sect’s side. Not exactly someone they wanted to offend by providing inferior hospitality.

Nie Mingjue ended up abandoning his now habitual corner in the back of the room to dash back and forth dancing attendance on her, run ragged and breathless by all of her demands.

It wasn’t exactly a surprise when she approached him in his corner during the banquet’s dessert course, and he straightened up at once, saluting politely. “Sect Leader Yu,” he said, suppressing a desire to moan and maybe beg for mercy; his legs were killing him. How this managed to be worse than serious saber training he had no idea, but it was. “Is the dessert not to your liking? I can get you something cool instead –”

“Sit down, boy,” she growled. “The crystal cakes are fine, and I’m tired of looking up at you. How tall are you? Six chi?”

“…five and a half, maybe five and three-quarters,” he confessed, sitting down obediently. At this point, she could tell him to jump out a window and he probably would – she had a very sharp walking stick and no hesitation about waving everywhere. No sympathy for her miserable victims, either.

“And you’re how old?”

“Seventeen.”

“Slowed down yet?”

“…not yet.”

She huffed. “That’s all we need, another Nie giant. I told your father that he was making a mistake, marrying a woman that needed to duck to get through doors…that how you got that black eye?”

“Huh?” Nie Mingjue said unintelligently, still caught by the mental image – he scarcely remembered his mother, having been very young when she left, but it was nice to think that it wasn’t just the perspective of having been a toddler that had made her appear quite so towering. “Oh, I – uh – training accident.”

Yu Ming squinted at him. “Same training accident that dislocated three of your fingers and a kneecap, did a number on your ribs, and cut your back up so bad that you need bandages and –” She inhaled. “– at least two doses of bai mao gen to replenish the blood lost?”

Nie Mingjue opened and closed his mouth wordlessly. Finally, yielding under her glare, he muttered, “I didn’t dislocate my kneecap.”

He might’ve preferred that, actually. Dislocations could be shoved back into place with relatively little issue; he’d sprained it, instead. A bad fall from when he’d shamefully broken and tried to run from the Fire Palace, futilely seeking safety, a place where he neither had to hurt people nor be hurt himself.

Not that such a place existed in the Nightless City, of course. He’d only been dragged back after, as he ought to have expected, and then things had gotten much worse, but he hadn’t really been thinking his actions through at the time.

“Dislocated, not dislocated, whatever. Has to be something, the way you’re dragging that left leg of yours behind you when you trot,” she said practically. “You’re a rotten liar, did anyone ever tell you that?”

“Many people,” Nie Mingjue said with a sigh. Most of them currently in bed with food poisoning, except for lucky Wen Ning away at the Lotus Pier and miserable Wen Xu now stuck standing by his father’s side, pretending to smile. “Does it matter?”

“Matter? What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Other than going and applying more powder, there’s not much I can do about it even if it does offend your sight,” Nie Mingjue pointed out, reasonably enough in his view. “And no matter how many times or ways you ask it, the answer’s still going to be ‘training accident’, whether or not you believe me.”

Yu Ming poked his forehead with her finger, then his cheek. “And this is with powder,” she said, scowling and rubbing the remnants of it between her fingertips as if she hadn’t believed him that it was there until she’d verified it for herself. “If you won’t tell me anything other than ‘training accident’, will you at least tell me what you did to deserve this type of training?”

“I don’t remember,” Nie Mingjue said, and he really didn’t. All the thrashings more or less flowed together pretty well after a while, and in the end it didn’t really matter if he’d intervened on Nie Huaisang’s behalf or Wen Chao’s, whether he’d played whipping boy for Wen Xu or distracted attention away from Wen Qing – they were all close enough to be proper family now. What he did was nothing more than what you ought to do for those you loved, and he’d die before he forgot how to do that.

“Rotten liar,” Yu Ming said, maybe because she could tell he wasn’t lying, and spat on the ground. “It’s a filthy business.”

“I’m hardly going to disagree with you,” he said dryly.

“You might look a little less ragged if you did.”

He shrugged. “They say people can’t change their essential nature.”

“And what’s yours?”

“Blunt to the point of stupidity.”

“Say rather that you cut straight to the point,” she said.

“Well, you know, sabers have one blunt edge, one sharp,” he said, unable to resist a smile even if it pulled at the bruises around his eye. “I can be both.”

She was staring at him.

“…what?”

“You have dimples.”

“I’m…aware?”

He didn’t quite understand the calculating look Yu Ming had in her eyes – or, perhaps better said, he didn’t want to understand that look, and he was willing to put in a great deal of effort behind not understanding it if he had to.

“Do you want another crystal cake?” he asked her abruptly before she could say anything else. When she arched her eyebrows, he elaborated: “Sect Leader Wen will undoubtedly ask me whether I was taking good care of you, being as you are after all one of our honored guests.”

Don’t tell me anything, he meant. Even if you pity me – especially if you pity me. He has ways to make me talk. He likes making me talk.

“…fine, then,” Yu Ming said. “You said something about there being something cool?”

Nie Mingjue suppressed a groan as he dragged himself out of his seat and headed to the kitchen to see if they still had any sorbet left over.

“– going to be tricky,” Nie Huaisang was saying to a nodding Wen Xu as Nie Mingjue walked by. “Lanling Jin isn’t fond of making decisions.”

“But they are fond of profit,” Wen Xu pointed out.

“The question will be if there’s a way to strike the right balance without giving too much away –”

Nie Mingjue decided to believe that they were talking about pornography. People said Jin Guangshan was into that sort of thing, didn’t they?

Nie Mingjue trained with Baxia at least once every day, and usually more. He found the repetitive actions calming, like an active form of meditation, and he was happy to sink into the mindlessness of physical exertion and forget his worries.

Baxia was warm under his hand, as always – he thought sometimes that she’d never quite adjusted to the warmer temperatures of the Nightless City, preferring as he did the cooler weather of Qinghe.

Perhaps, in time, she would forget it.

Perhaps, in time, so would he.

Forget the cool air filling his lungs, the crisp snap of an autumn day just about to begin; forget the smell of the forests and the feeling of gravel under his shoes. Forget the strain on his muscles from climbing up a steep cliff, the taste of an early snowfall on his tongue – the metallic tang to the water, the lingering smell of smoke in the air even when there wasn’t anyone around for miles.

It felt unforgettable.

But he knew that it wasn’t. In the face of time, all things were ground down into the dust.

He would be eighteen years old this year. Still a little shy of proper adulthood, an unlucky year, if luck had anything to do with his life any longer. He’d been here for four years, just shy of a quarter of all the years he’d ever lived.

Perhaps that was what made him melancholy.

Or perhaps it was only that he had been unable to light incense on the anniversary of his father’s death yet again this year. Wen Ruohan took particular pleasure in ensuring that he couldn’t – he had spent the first year unconscious, the second year immobilized, the third…he tried not to remember.

It didn’t really matter, he supposed, since he’d always agreed in advance that Nie Huaisang would light the incense on behalf of them both, both on the anniversary and on Qingming – they hadn’t ever been given leave to return to Qinghe to sweep their ancestral graves, not once, not even when some of the other sects had complained about the impropriety of it. No one ever paid attention to Nie Huaisang, underestimating how sneaky he could be, and so he’d managed it just fine. Still, the failure to do it himself tugged at Nie Mingjue’s heart, disappointed him in himself - in his failure to be a good son, just as he so often failed to be a good brother.

He sank back into his training by force of willpower.

His cultivation was increasing at an acceptable rate, he thought – shockingly fast by all metrics, but all of his teachers said that his foundations were good, steady as mountains, and his progression through each stage was smooth and unhindered by bottlenecks. The consequences of genius, they said with a shrug.

It was about the only thing that was going in an acceptable manner.

Ma Liyuan had fallen out of favor, as Wen Xu had predicted – she’d failed to remain pregnant despite repeated efforts, and Wen Ruohan took such pleasure in criticizing her for it that Nie Mingjue suspected he’d dosed her tea with contraceptives specifically to set her up for the failure, since he didn’t actually need more sons – but her usefulness remained, so she was married in with all pomp to Wen Chao’s household as a secondary wife.

(She’d been promised the position of first wife, and threw a fit when she realized the change, but Wen Ruohan had reminded her, sneering, that that had been when she’d been a pure and untouched maiden; she really couldn’t expect them to pay such a high price for secondhand goods, now could she?)

Wen Chao obviously had no interest in her at all – she’d tried, once, to make herself up and smile at him and he’d recoiled as if he’d seen a snake, then stared at her and said, “You’re joking, right?” – so she’d taken the next best option and sent her maid to seduce him in her stead.

Wang Lingjiao was pretty enough, with curves enough to make just about any man stare, and pretty cunning to boot. In a different world, a world where Wen Chao had fallen for his father’s nasty little tricks and become a stupid oversexed princeling, a waste of space that would have been incited into fighting against Wen Xu for the sole purpose of being crushed to prove some imagined point of about the necessity of cruelty, she probably would have been able to crawl into his bed and keep her place there without much difficulty.

Wen Chao was a bit of a romantic, after all, no matter how much he tried to deny it.

As it was, when her first few efforts at flirtation failed – or, well, mostly failed, given that Wen Chao held her hands in his own during a garden stroll in the moonlight and told her, with great earnestness, that she was very beautiful and it was such a pity that he wasn’t allowed to think of women romantically until he was fifteen on pain of utmost humiliation and also was she aware of the dangers of venereal disease – Wang Lingjiao pulled back and recalibrated her approach.

This time, she went for Nie Mingjue.

“You’re joking, right?” he asked her.

She arched an eyebrow at him. “Is that a deliberate reference to what Wen Chao said?”

“No, just the same idea. I’m not interested.”

“That much is obvious enough,” she said, tossing her hair. “I want you to tell me what I need to do to get someone to be interested. I don’t want to be a servant any longer.”

Nie Mingjue was at something of a loss for words.

“There must be something I can provide,” Wang Lingjiao demanded. “Some service, some use…I’m a weak cultivator, but that clearly doesn’t bother you lot – your younger brother is weak, too, though I’m still a bit worse. I’m not as dumb as Ma Liyuan; I know there’s more you can sell in life than sex, even if that’s easier. What do you want? What do any of you want?”

Wang Lingjiao was from the Yingchuan Wang cultivation clan, Nie Mingjue abruptly remembered. A smaller sect, with too many children, but a standalone sect nonetheless; their children were born as gentry, not servants. No, they must have sold Wang Lingjiao into servitude, though whether it was to get an in with Qishan Wen or simply to get rid of a budding problem – and extremely beautiful young women with poor cultivation were often a problem, especially when their beauty suggested how their mothers had gotten themselves selected to be wives, or, more likely, concubines – he did not know.

“Do you mix your own makeup?” he asked, and she stared at him. “It’s very well done.”

“…yes,” she said, giving him a strange look. “I do. None that’ll fit you, though.”

He blinked, then laughed. “No, I don’t want any; the only use I have for powder is to cover up bruises when I need to be presentable. I just meant that it seems you have a steady hand at mixing things and judging proportions – A-Qing appreciates those qualities.”

“Wen Qing?” Wang Lingjiao asked, bewildered. “You want to send me to a woman?”

“She’s expressed before that she would like to have more female company,” Nie Mingjue explained, and Wang Lingjiao’s expression only got more fish-like as she gaped at him. “A fair while back, in fairness, but the numbers really are skewed fairly strongly against her. I thought you might get along. Be friends.”

“I’ve never had a female friend in my life,” Wang Lingjiao told him.

“I thought – you’re always chatting with the other serving girls…?”

Wang Lingjiao rolled her eyes as if he were being stupid. He probably was. Forget Qishan ways, the ways of the teenaged girl were utterly beyond his grasp.

“I don’t see what you have to lose by trying,” Nie Mingjue pointed out. “I’m not interested, Xu-ge’s too paranoid to get within touching distance of anyone he thinks has an ulterior motive, A-Chao isn’t allowed to touch women for a few more years –”

“Why is that?”

“He’s gullible, and has both questionable taste and sibling-inflicted trauma relating to brothels,” Nie Mingjue explained, and Wang Lingjiao wrinkled her nose, looking a little amused despite herself. “A-Ning isn’t the type to womanize, and Huaisang is too young. Also a vicious cutthroat when it comes to interpersonal relations, so who even knows what type of person he’d like, if any.”

“I’d noticed that about him.”

“In sum, A-Qing is your best bet,” he concluded. “And all the more so if you approach her in a business-like fashion: make clear to her what benefits you bring and how you’ll compensate for the drawbacks, be practical and reasonable, and you’ll do fine. Do well, and you won’t ever need to fear being sent back to Ma Liyuan – or to Yingchuan.”

Wang Lingjiao stared at him for a moment – she hadn’t expected him to be able to figure that out, he thought, since she was just clever enough to manage to puzzle out that he was the heart and core of their little group but not quite smart enough to realize why – but in the end she seemed to take his advice to heart, nodding and walking away.

He hoped Wen Qing didn’t kill him for sending her a terrible lab assistant.

#mdzs #nie mingjue #nie huaisang #wen xu #wen chao #wang lingjiao #wen qing #wen ning #my fic #my fics #fire and light

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low-budget-mulan · 3 years

Text

My Experience with the Covid Vaccine

Hi Everyone! I’ve been receiving a lot of questions about my experience with the Covid vaccine and I figured it would be best to just make a post where I can answer everyone’s questions all in one place. I will be going over a couple of different things here from how I was able to get the vaccine, my reaction to the vaccine, the ethics behind the vaccine (for my Catholic, Christian, Pro-Life friends-- you can ignore this section if you are none of those things), how the vaccine works, and why you should get the vaccine. I will try my best to make everything here as honest as I can in terms of my experience and I will link you to sources for my more scientific facts. I know that there is a lot of misinformation out there and fear regarding the vaccine and I hope to put all that to rest.

So let’s start this off with how I was able to get the vaccine. For those of you who don’t know I am a healthcare worker. I work in EMS as an EMT. I was lucky enough to have the option for either the Moderna or the Pfizer vaccine. My company offered us the Moderna vaccine, but the local hospital in our area (which was offering the Pfizer Vaccine) had some extra vaccines and were generous enough to share those vaccines with us. My company wouldn’t receive their shipment for another week or two and I wanted to get my dose as soon as possible, so I decided to get my dose through the local hospital. Which is how I ended up with the Pfizer one.

Many of you asked about my reaction to the vaccine. I have had both doses now and my reactions to both were very different. These were MY reactions. I know people who had different reactions than me, so just because it happened to me does not mean it will happen to you. Everyone is different and can experience things on their own. For my first dose I didn’t have any reactions. I just had the sore arm that comes with any vaccination. They are injecting it directly into your muscle so you are going to be sore. That is normal and you shouldn’t be worried. It feels kind of like a charlie horse or like you worked out really hard at the gym, but only in that one spot. Just ice it or throw on a heat pack or take a tylenol and power through. You did a good thing for yourself and your community. About 18 days later I had my second dose of the vaccine. This dose is larger and is needed in order for you to have the immunity to the virus. DO NOT MISS YOUR SECOND DOSE. I made the mistake of getting this shot while on duty lol. I had started my day with some normal back and neck pain that I attributed to regular heavy lifting of patients and a car crash I had a month prior. About 4 hours after getting my vaccine I started feeling VERY achy in both my back and neck. I thought nothing of it because I started the day with that pain and figured it was just because we had lifted some heavier patients. About an hour later I started getting the chills and the weakness. I was just feeling off and not quite myself. As the night progressed I ended up getting a low grade fever, nausea (luckily I had zofran on hand), a cough, dizziness, and I was diaphoretic (sweaty). I just really didn’t feel very good. I powered through my shift where I got off at 0700 and went home the next morning where I was able to sleep it off. By noon I was back to my regular self with only the sore arm. My reaction to the vaccine from start to finish was probably only about 15 hours. Yea that reaction sucked and I really did not feel too great, but would I do it again if it meant protecting myself and others from Covid? Hell yes!

The process for getting the vaccine may differ at each distribution site in terms of registration, but there are a few things that are going to stay the same. It started off with me registering on the website and answering some basic questions. Such as “are you a healthcare worker?” “have you been exposed to Covid without PPE?” “Are you Pregnant?” “Are you over 16?” “Do you have any allergies?” etc. Common questions that get asked in the current medical setting. I then had to register for an appointment time and show them my ID to prove I am who I am. After answering those questions I was sent off to wait for the first available person to administer my vaccine. Each table is sanitized after each person. I went over and got my shot. Went and filled out my vaccination card and had it signed off by someone then I went to sit in the waiting area for 15 minutes. That part is mandatory for everyone in case there is a reaction to the vaccine. WHICH IS EXTREMELY RARE. If you are a person who has many allergies then it is recommended you wait 30 minutes instead as it can sometimes take 30 minutes for a reaction to develop. Luckily there are healthcare providers all around so you are in good hands :) The whole process was so simple and I made friends with everyone else who was there getting their shots. We were bonding over our combined 5G super coverage. It was glorious.

How does the vaccine work? The Covid 19 Vaccine is a newer type of vaccine. It is something called a mRNA vaccine. mRNA Vaccines are different from our traditional vaccines as they don’t have a weak or inactive version of the virus or bacteria in them. What it does is it teaches the cells in our body how to fight off the virus by creating a protein to trigger our immune systems into action and fight off whatever shouldn’t be there. After the protein in our cells is created it gets displayed for our body to realize that it doesn’t belong. Our immune system then starts creating antibodies to fight off this unknown and very unwelcome protein. After our body has created these antibodies it deletes the protein out of existence as if it never existed leaving only the antibodies to protect us later down the line in case we do end up catching Covid (you can read more on this here https://www.cdc.gov/coronavirus/2019-ncov/vaccines/different-vaccines/mrna.html) . I think mRNA vaccines are going to be the future. They are more effective and way cooler in how they work. How did this vaccine come out so fast you ask? It was obviously planned by the government right? Wrong. Stop with the conspiracy theories ya wackos. mRNA vaccines had been in the works for YEARS. China had successfully identified the protein on the outside of the virus and sent that information to the labs across the world (pfizer and Moderna) to get started on a vaccine. They were able to crank one out and start the testing on animals, then people. After the trials they were able to approve these vaccines for distribution across the world (https://www.health.harvard.edu/blog/why-are-mrna-vaccines-so-exciting-2020121021599). So basically the vaccine is cool and in no way a conspiracy.

Now for all of my Catholic, Christian, and Pro-Life friends. Is it ethical to receive the vaccine. In short, yes. For those of you who are still reading this part the reason this is a big issue for my Catholic, Christian, and Pro-Life friends is because past vaccines have used stem cells from an aborted baby. This is not meant to start a pro-life/pro-choice debate. Any of that on this post will be shut down immediately. For us as Catholics and as people who are pro-life it can be seen as a morally gray area due to the fact that a life has been taken and each human being has inherent dignity and value from conception to natural death. Now on to why we are able to receive the vaccine. Both the Moderna and the Pfizer vaccines were made using the mRNA technique. Which basically means there is no fetal tissue in them. Now where people are getting confused. While the vaccines do not use fetal tissue in them, they still tested them on a morally compromised cell line. Now the reason we are able to receive these vaccines still is because while neither of these vaccines is remote from evil there were no other options for us to keep the population as a whole safe. If you are still concerned about it we are so far removed from the act of the abortion that we cannot be held accountable for the actions that took place that day. This is a very very shortened version and if you would like to keep reading then you can do so here https://www.catholic.com/audio/cot/covid-19-vaccines-and-the-usccb?fbclid=IwAR2xRPbNxiCdsc1ISeb6u_D-YHjyoCrQlT3oTI4QZdeU1z9LZ6eGtbqrrKw. We should be getting this vaccine to protect those of us who are unable to receive it.

This post was not meant to be political in any way. I wanted to help you all understand why this vaccine is so important and put your minds at ease. Remember, the reasons vaccines work is because of herd immunity. Which means if the majority of us as a community get the vaccine then it will help to keep those who can’t get it (the pregnant, breastfeeding, immunocompromised, etc) safe and better protected from the virus. So please do your part. Social distance, wear your mask, wash your hands, get your vaccine, and look out for your neighbors. We are all in this together.

#sara posts about stuff #covid #vaccine #covid19 #corona #corona virus #covid vaccine #antivax #antivaxxer

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words-writ-in-starlight · 3 years

Note

White Collar ot3 number 14, 18 and/or 29 for the ship asks because you just reminded me how much I adore them today. Thank you and happy birthday!!

I cut this bad boy for length because I sure can go on about these three. That first one is basically a whole fic. Thank you, my birthday was great!

14) When one has a cold, what does the other do?

This feels like a great opportunity to talk about one of my favorite things to think about with this OT3, which is The First Time Neal Gets Sick, AKA The Time Peter And Elizabeth Almost Had A Heart Attack.

The thing is, they expect dramatics. Neal is someone who leans on dramatics as 70% of his social charms, and if you'd held a hot brand to Peter's skin while he was chasing Neal over half the godforsaken country, back in the day, he'd have said that Neal would be the type to wring every minor illness for all it was worth. Not, like, out of any particular irritation for that particular behavior--Elizabeth is the kind of person who gets dramatically sick even if all she has is a cold, and if he's being perfectly honest Peter kind of enjoys babying his wife for a few days--but just because. Well. All Neal ever does is make sure all eyes are on him, seeing exactly what he wants, doing exactly what he needs. It's the con he's best at, Neal's favorite magic trick: sweep everyone up in the delirium of those blue eyes and that shattering smile and take everything they've got in their distraction.

So anyway, then Neal doesn't show up to work. He's an hour late. Two hours late. By the third hour, Peter is silently doing the math for how far Neal could get on his anklet without setting it off, and then for any loopholes he might have missed--faking the signal somehow? Neal's passable but not phenomenal with computers, but could he have hired someone? Peter's never heard of someone pulling that off, but Neal's got an aura about him, that makes the impossible seem merely improbable.

It is very important that this be an issue of Neal trying to run, because if it's not, then something might have happened to him. Neal hasn't exactly been endearing himself to the criminal underworld lately.

At three hours and forty-nine minutes past Neal's appointed arrival time, Peter takes an early lunch break and goes to June's. He knocks on Neal's door for a few minutes, and then goes and politely 'acquires' the spare key from the staff and lets himself in.

Neal is asleep on the couch, buried in every blanket he could find in his apartment, and he blinks hazily at Peter for a second when Peter shakes him and then bolts upright so fast that Peter has to move or get concussed.

"Peter," Neal says in a good approximation of his usual good humor. "What are you doing here?"

"You didn't show up to work," Peter says, reaching out toward Neal's forehead automatically. Neal dodges him and Peter sees the dizzy wave cross his face. "Are you sick?"

"I'm fine," Neal says, and then immediately starts coughing, a wet sharp cough that hurts to listen to. "Sorry I'm late, I--fuck, is it past noon? Okay, just--give me a second, I can get ready to go--"

"How long have you been sick, Neal?"

It takes Peter the better part of fifty minutes to wring the facts out of Neal, and he does not like the facts, thanks. He more or less forces Neal back into the blanket nest on the couch and calls El, apologizes for interrupting one of her rare days off and asks her to bring Neal literally anything, and shuts down Neal's fourth attempt to convince Peter that he's fine.

Neal seems...really bothered by the idea that Peter knows he's sick, let alone Elizabeth, and Peter doesn't like what that implies. About anything. At least it doesn't seem personal--Neal doesn't seem to want anyone to know that he's sick, so much so that he's been taking double doses of DayQuil and drinking straight espresso in order to smother all his symptoms at work for the past three days. Peter does some quick math in his head about the number of DayQuil that would require and says "You're lucky you're not in the ER," and Neal says, "I know what I'm doing, Peter," in that voice that means he's thinking about getting offended.

"You're going to give yourself liver failure, is what you're doing. Why didn't you just call out sick, Neal, Jesus Christ." It's blunter than he meant to be--actually, Peter meant to let El work on Neal for a few hours before he came back to play Blunt Cop--but Neal looks awful and he has a fever and he's been taking ten DayQuil in a ten hour work day and Peter does actually read labels and Peter made him stay late at work two days ago because Peter didn't know he was sick.

And maybe it's because Neal's sick, maybe it's because the fever is blurring his reaction time, maybe Peter just knows him really well by this point, but he sees the second that Neal's face closes up and he goes from "defensive" to "ready to do whatever he needs to do in order to get Peter to back down".

And then Neal smiles, all guileless blue eyes and blithe schoolboy innocence, and he says, "Come on, Peter, you'd have thought I was trying to run."

It stings inordinately. Peter did think that, this morning, but only because Neal fucking vanished, didn't come in, didn't answer his phone, didn't even leave a message with someone when Peter showed up. If Neal had said he was sick, Peter might have come by to check on him--and sure, seeing that he was really sick would have put those concerns to bed, but--

"Besides," Neal is continuing, and his voice is starting to show the effect of the coughing now, and he's trying to get up again, wavering on his feet a little before he blinks twice and visibly forces himself to steady. "I'm fine. And even if I wasn't, it's what, seven hundred dollars a month? That's not covering a doctor, and it's not like I have pneumonia. It's just a cold, Uncle Sam, I can still go to work."

And then Neal gives Peter the slip while Peter's still sitting there, stinging.

And the thing is, he doesn't even know if Neal really thinks that of him, or if Neal just knew it would make him shut up long enough for Neal to walk into his bathroom and take more fucking DayQuil.

Well, fine, then. Peter can fight dirty too, and to prove it, he walks the ten feet to the door and leans back against it, just out of an excess of caution, as he pulls out his phone. First he texts his wife, because she's a very smart woman and deserves to have all the information. Second, he calls his boss, because he's already well outside his lunch break and he might as well do the thing properly. Neal comes out of the bathroom, wearing fresh slacks and an unbuttoned white shirt, just as Peter says, "Yes, sir, I'll keep an eye on him."

Then Peter hangs up and points his phone at Neal and says, "Lie the hell back down before I taze you. You're off until next week, and I'm taking the day off to make sure you don't go into organ failure. Don't you dare," he adds when Neal takes a purposeful step toward the kitchenette and its coffee maker. "El is going to be here with actual cold medicine in thirty minutes. Take those slacks off and lie down in your actual bed."

"I'm fine," Neal says again, as if he's not struggling with a shirt button for the first time since Peter's met him, including multiple occasions of being handcuffed.

"You're really not," Peter says, and then he pauses for a moment, and looks at the way Neal's fingers pause on the button, and then he says, a little cautiously, "And that's fine. Everyone gets sick, Neal."

"I don't need you to babysit me," Neal mutters.

"I'm only babysitting you because, apparently, you take life-ending doses of caffeine and cold medicine when you're left alone. Come on, Neal, this won't be the end of the world, El will bring you some food that won't hurt your throat and I'll let you make me watch one of your boring foreign films."

"I know your secrets," Neal says, and then pauses to cough up what's probably part of his failing liver, not that Peter is feeling any doom and gloom about this whole thing. "You watch romcoms with Elizabeth, she told me you enjoy things other than football and you'll never fool me again."

"Yeah, you got me," Peter says with a faint grin. He walks away from the door like he's approaching a feral dog, and closes his hands gently but inexorably around Neal's wrists, and then steers him firmly back onto the couch. Neal's skin is hot even through his shirt, and he trips twice, and he lets Peter push him down into the blankets like he's too tired to do anything else. "I'm going to go get you pajamas. Where do you keep them?"

"Second drawer," Neal says dismally.

"Okay," Peter says, and doesn't give into his impulse to maybe, like, brush Neal's rumpled curls out of his face or something. Half the reason that Peter caught him in the first place is because Peter knows when to press his advantage. He takes the win and gets Neal some pajamas.

18) When they fight, how do they make up?

Elizabeth is the best at this, because she works with vendors all the time and that makes her a literal professional at conflict resolution. She has a temper and she’ll lose her cool with the best of them, but she knows how to say “I need a minute” and then she’ll leave and come back when she can be reasonable. She’ll lay out what she’s upset about, hear the other person out, and then either apologize or expect an apology. Then she’s the physical touch kind of person after a fight--she’ll take Peter’s hands and link their fingers together, or wrap her arms around Neal from behind with her cheek between his shoulder blades, and just kind of...rest against them until everyone’s tension starts to bleed out of them.

Peter isn’t an innately high-empathy person and he knows this, so it’s sometimes hard for him to figure out when a fight even started, let alone how to fix it. He gets frustrated with himself for not knowing what to do, and then it’s easy for Elizabeth or Neal to feel like he’s mad at them for being mad at him, and then everyone gets madder and it’s just stressful. So Peter’s the type to ask explicitly “wait, are we fighting” because, first of all, he would like to know so he can figure out how to resolve it, and, second of all, he’s discovered that being clear about it will sometimes shock everyone involved into taking a step back and figuring out if they’re arguing at all or if they’re both just frustrated. After they’ve managed to figure out what’s wrong and talked it out, Peter’s an acts of service kind of person after a fight--his specific brand is to make someone’s favorite meal, regardless of who was doing the apologizing.

Neal is...not good at conflict. For obvious reasons, he’s inclined toward avoiding conflict when he can, and bailing immediately afterward when he can’t. The first time he actually fought with Elizabeth, she had to come to his apartment and hammer on his door until he let her in. Neal’s never really been able to argue with someone and then have them still be there except for maybe Mozzie, and it’s an extremely rough adjustment for everyone. It requires a lot of patience from Elizabeth and Peter, and a lot of anxiety from Neal, for them to find a balance about it. But Neal is a gifts person after an argument, once he learns to be anything after an argument, and not just extravagant things. He brings flowers or Elizabeth’s favorite mixers or one of the boring patterned ties that Peter loves, he brings a paperweight or a mug, a hair pin, a new set of dress shoe laces, a pair of beautiful earrings, a six-pack of beer, whatever hoves into his field of vision and he can afford to acquire.

29) Why do they fall a little bit more in love?

One time when he got home from work, Peter caught Neal and Elizabeth waltzing in the kitchen while the radio played the Top 40 Hits station, and they were giggling while they tried to keep time to Umbrella, and Neal was complaining about El not letting him play classical while she was cooking, and Neal dipped El so that she could wink at Peter upside down, and they burned dinner because they left the stove on and the three of them got takeout ramen instead.

Peter thinks about that evening sometimes when he’s stuck in traffic.

#white collar #neal caffrey #peter burke #elizabeth burke #ot3 #starlight writes stuff #headcanon meme #ask meme #I WAS GONNA COMPILE THIS WITH THE OTHER ASK ABOUT WHITE COLLAR BUT #THAT FIRST ONE REALLY IS THE FIRST COUPLE HUNDRED WORDS OF A FIC THAT LIVES IN MY HEAD RENT FREE #[sits the entire fandom down] neal transparently grew up with no one in his life who let him rest when he was sick #let's talk about that more #because i think about that all the time #anyway peter and elizabeth basically Install Themselves at neal's for the next couple days #why do i think neal watches foreign films? idk i just Feel It. he would watch all the cdramas and kdramas on netflix.#also sometimes he watches crime shows and critiques the criminals to elizabeth but they don't do that in front of peter #i think peter is the kind of guy who actually really likes romcoms but has trouble admitting it and el doesn't mind that much #elizabeth likes media generally i have Decided This. she just likes stories. anything good OR fun OR interesting will do it for her.#point is that she sets up on Neal's couch and pretends that she's just there to enjoy his movie collection #and if he falls asleep and she winds up with his head in her lap so that she can pet his hair and keep him that way it is Completely An Acc #peter Hovers when people are sick but in like a benevolent 'you always have fresh tea' kind of way #anyway kids don't take too much dayquil because acetaminophen is dangerous thank you for coming to my ted talk #anonymous #asked and answered

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songofsaraneth · 3 years

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Ok now that I have time/space to breathe again, I wanted to do a writeup on the unusual reaction I had to the second Covid vaccine dose. I debated posting this, because I don't want to go against the "I was vaccinated and it's fine!" encouragement train. And I 1000% encourage EVERYONE to get vaccinated if possible. But I have not seen much documentation of the averse symptom I got, except in some case studies I specifically looked up so details below. Big TMI/gross warning however.

Mostly I'm posting this because I had to do SO much self-advocating/arguing with the Dr at my urgent care clinic, and if you're not as read up on weird medical issues as I am, you might not be comfortable doing that. But IANAD, just describing my experience and what I read, which ended up being very long because it was awful and I have a lot to complain about I guess, sorry.

Basically: for me the vaccine triggered an inflammation response, which in itself is normal. The usual muscle aches/joint pain/slight fever. It also triggered an outbreak of ulcers in my soft tissues. Basically, a bunch of canker sores in my mouth/throat. I am already prone to getting these when I get sick or stressed out, so no biggie, annoying and painful but I could handle them. Canker sores are distinct from cold sores in that they form inside the mouth as crater spots, usually around the size of a pencil eraser (though can be bigger or smaller), and will develop a white film across the crater as they develop and start to heal.

An unfortunate fact I have learned: the mouth is not the only exposed “soft tissue” of the body. this group also includes genitals.

So 2 days after the vaccine I noticed a "burning sensation"/rawness downstairs, which turned into a sharp pain, especially when going to the bathroom. I obviously knew this was abnormal and because of what was happening in my mouth, had a pretty firm idea of what was happening, but was ready to brace myself through the healing process. However by day 5 I had 8 red, crater-like sores on the tissue of my vulva. Essentially they are open wounds, and urine is an acid, so you can imagine the hell that using the bathroom had become. Even just sitting hurt.

As someone healthcare-averse, even I knew this was untenable, and went to Urgent Care for the first time in my adult life. I told the NP what was going on, how they matched the canker sores (NOT cold sores) in my mouth in onset/form--and she immediately, without even looking, diagnosed me with herpes.

Lots of people have herpes or other STIs, and that's fine. I know I do not have any, and wanted to pursue treatment for what I was sure they were--Non-sexually acquired genital ulceration (NSGU). I had even found three case studies of COVID patients who had developed them. I had spent several harrowing hours on google images making sure that the sores I had did not match any STI I may have magically acquired during a year of social distancing. I even brought up multiple case studies, including a woman who had them as a Covid reaction in a neighboring state. Didn’t matter. She looked at them and went “Yikes! Herpes!” and prescribed me:

1) an antiviral, which I said I did not think would do anything because the trigger for this was a vaccine not an illness. She said it was probably a herpes flare up already in my system. I reiterated that I have had similar sores in my mouth since childhood and that all my past doctors and dentists agreed it was not viral but something related to an immune response. She said the antivirals should clear them up in a few days.

2) a topical 5% lidocaine ointment, aka an oral grade numbing gel, which was essentially what I was after anyway.

I would have preferred a steroid course to the antiviral, but agreed to start taking them until she got the results of the bloodwork I needed to come in the next day for. I asked how many days after taking them I would expect to see a difference/if she would reevaluate treatment if they didn’t have an effect in a certain amount of time, and she said if they hadn’t cleared up by Monday then she’d look into other causes (spoiler, they did nothing in that 4 day span). to her credit, when she saw me pick up my bike helmet (because my car had been at the mechanic for a month by then), she was properly horrified that i was having to bike everywhere with this situation and printed off some coupons/called all the prescriptions into the grocery store pharmacy next door instead of the CVS my insurance likes a mile away.

So eventually I got home and took my pill & went to put on the ointment so I could use the bathroom for the first time in 8 hours. I’ll spare you the details but suffice to say I had an extremely, overwhelmingly painful 10 minutes of application. Like absolutely awful burning feeling. However once that faded, I was indeed actually numb, and so I figured it was worth it. Got my bloodwork done on Friday (biking there & home again). On Saturday, I thought that you know, maybe a prescription anesthetic shouldn’t be doing that or at least have some sort of warning? And read the details on the jar.

Good things about lidocaine: it is a powerful numbing agent and lasts pretty well for an hour or two.

Bad things about lidocaine: you cannot get oral grade lidocaine without added mint flavoring.

I happen to be EXTREMELY sensitive to mint. Like I still can’t handle breath mints or mouthwash, and used bubblegum flavored toothpaste until I was 14 and found a brand with half as much mint flavoring as is typical. Even if you’re not, mint has no business being anywhere near genital tissue. Even on an average person that could cause awful burning. to make a long saga shorter I had a very frustrating back-and-forth with urgent care involving many rerouted phone trees, visit in person, unhelpful receptionists, and attempts to find over-the-counter alternatives. All were fruitless so I just suffered all weekend until the urgent care Nurse Practitioner called me back on Monday and was suitably apologetic/outraged about the mint thing, and looked up every OTC product that might work as a substitute, since she couldn’t find any prescription level without mint. On Tuesday she called back again having found this:

It’s 4%, so just below prescription strength, while not oral grade, it’s actually fine for soft tissues as long as not fully ingested/internally applied. And most importantly, ABSOLUTELY NO ADDED FLAVORINGS. there is also a spray version that comes in a bottle, which under no circumstances should you try because it uses alcohol as a propellant and I had a very bad 5 minutes after testing that one. But the cream one is fine and brings blessed numbness in around 5 minutes with only minimal contact pain--they are still open wounds after all.

I use this for the next 7 days. By this point the sores have gotten worse and larger, and then started to heal and shrink again. Mouth canker sores go through a similar ~2 week process, so this is about what I expected.

Finally the results of my bloodwork came back, and I was negative for all STIs. The NP was dumbfounded and apologized, and agreed to look up more information/treatment options for cases like this in the future. I’m not surprised her reaction was to assume herpes as it IS very common, but I’m sure other women experience NSGU’s and receive improper treatment. If you look them up, they’re even mentioned as being predominantly a problem for “young or prepubescent women” which, reading between the lines--it’s not that these become less likely if you’re older or sexually active. Doctors just make assumptions and don’t always look past the easy answers.

So if you or someone you know ends up with these--from the Covid vaccine or as a complication of upper respiratory infections in general (as they ARE an immune response and can just Happen to you)--here is what works as treatment. If you can see a doctor you trust, still do that. But if they don’t listen or if for some reason you can’t seek treatment, here is the course of action I recommend:

Pick up that over-the-counter Pain Relief+Lidocaine NON MINTY numbing cream ASAP. Sores go from “annoying” to “excruciating” in only 3 days, so it’s best to get in person or with rush shipping. Sit in front of a mirror and gently apply with a q-tip, and wait 5 minutes for the medicine to take effect.

Pat gently dry with toilet paper, don’t make wiping motions. If you don’t feel clean enough, pat more with a wet washcloth and rinse it out, or hope in the shoer for 5 min just to rinse.

There may be pus or reside from the ointment that doesn’t go away with just rinsing. Every 2 days I made a half-strength bath of epsom salts, NUMBED FULLY, and then took a 10 minute bath to fully cleanse the area. the salt will sting terribly if you wait any longer, so I recommend standing and rinsing after this time.

The vulva is more exposed to air than the mouth. this may cause the sores to crack/bleed as they dry out. to avoid this, after using the restroom and cleaning yourself, you can apply a thick coating of Aquaphor on top of the sores. It will need to be rinsed off before you apply more numbing cream however, so if that is too many steps I recommend just using the Aquaphor overnight.

You may think its ok to get up in the middle of the night to pee without the numbing cream bc you have to go really bad and just once will be fine but it is NOT you will REGRET IT.

Unfortunately if you have sores on both sides you may develop what is known as “kissing sores”, aka sores directly opposite each other that touch when the area is not spread open. this means that after an extended period of time (overnight), the sores will try to heal into each other and opening the area back up painfully rips the tissue apart. INStEAD of ripping them apart, take a washclosh, run it under warm water, and do a hot/warm compress on the area. this will loosen the sores back up and separate them painlessly.

This is not exclusive to people with a vulva, they can also happen on scrotal/anal tissue. However it does seem to much more frequently affect people with typical XX sex organs.

If you develop these, PLEASE fill out an averse reaction form or your country’s equivalent. Also, I’m so sorry and if you need emotional support or have questions please feel free to get in touch.

Most likely, these will not happen to you--the vast majority of vaccinated people have not had this as a side effect. But it IS popping up more and more, and it is good to know about it in advance so you can be prepared to deal with and treat it without as much anxiety and all the hoops I had to jump through to get good care. Overall I’m still glad to be vaccinated, but if I had known this was a side effect, as someone already prone to canker sores I would have waited to vaccinate until my car was fixed a week later a the very least :|

#covid #covid vaccine #averse vaccine reaction #nsgu #ive got my finger on the block button for whatever pornbots this post activates do not try me #anyway #gross warning sorry :( if u dont want to know about my tmi personal health dont read this one #ramblings #wharglbargle #i dont wish these on anyone i cant describe what an awful experience this all was #tried to be more humerous bout it in the post but i cried p much nonstop at urgent care and many of the days after #long post #plagueblogging #still better than getting covid and dying tho so

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starrynite7114 · 4 years

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everything is you: ten

A/N: Good morning everyone! Happy long weekend! Hope you all are having an amazing weekend! I would like to thank you all for just all the support you’ve been showing. There has been some dark hours these past few weeks and I just appreciate all the love and support you all give me.

Got through the first week of school and it has been insane, but I think that’s what I’m used to now, along with work. lol

Snapshots and everything is you shorts: fights, should be up within the next few days.

Thank you for all the support! I really appreciate it! Enjoy! Love you all!

everything is you

Word count: 9267

Warnings: Angst, Fluffy

Masterlist

tagged list: @justahopelessssromantic : @ifoundmyhappythought : @carlaangel86 : @woahitslucyylu : @encounterthepast : @enamoured-x : @thewarriorprincessxo : @briana-mishell24 : @bribri-82 : @chibsytelford : @agirllovespasta : @twistnet : @everyhowlmarksthedead : @trulysuccubus : @jadert15 : @sammskellington : @cind-in-real-life : @claytoncardenasbabymama : @sadeyesgf : @thickemadame : @summertimesadnesswithadashofsass : @gemini0410 : @elcococruz : @samcrobae : @sesamepancakes : @iambabyharry : @blackmissfrizzle : @mrs-losa : @1-800-imagines : @phoenixhalliwell : @lady-pswrld : @dazzledamazon : @getyourcrayoncas : @fvckthisbxtchup : @lukealvxz : @scuzmunkie : @lilac-tea-time : @danie1432 : @cocotheclown : @soaronmywings : @my-rosegold-soul : @buttercup812 : @itskiranbitch : @angelreyesgirl : @sheeshgivemeabreak : @vicmackeybullshxt : @bigcreatorwombatdreamer : @khyharah : @strawberrywritings : @cherry-icetea : @fuzzy-jellyfish : @losolvidad0s : @brownsugarcoffy : @courtrae89 : @prdsdjarin : @blessedboo : @marvelmaree : @enamouravecleslivresetlechocolat : @behindmyeyes-insidemyhead : @thesandbeneathmytoes : @dark-twisted-and-mechanical-mind : @maddie-georges : @pearlkitten33 : @aquamento : @incorrect-mcdanno : @that-chick212 : @imanerdychubbyqueen : @glimmerglittergirl : @itsamedeemoney

If anyone would l like to be added to the tag list, please let me know! <3

Alena and Angel’s brunch date never happened.

He was going to confess, let everything out.

But Angel got sick.

For the next few days, Angel was fighting off the flu and Alena refused to leave his side. She kept Cruz at Felipe’s and her mother’s just so she could take care of Angel and assure Cruz wouldn’t get sick. But Angel was being stubborn and wouldn't let Alena take care of him since he didn’t want to get her sick.

It was endearing, but she knew Angel was usually a whiner when he was sick. She wasn’t exactly sure why he wouldn’t let her take care of him.

Alena poured soup into a bowl, placing Angel’s second dose of Motrin and Tylenol. She also placed a few lozenges to help with his cough and a glass of orange juice and a bottle of water. Angel insisted she texted him when his food was ready so he could just go get the food himself. She had him believing that she left at night to go to Felipe’s to sleep, but in reality, she’s been sleeping on the couch or Cruz’s room.

Turning the television on, she placed a pillow on one end of the couch and laid down. She hasn’t slept much since she was worried for Angel. She knew it was just the flu, but being sick was the worst, at least she hated it.

Angel

‘Food is ready.’

She placed her cell phone down beside her resting one hand under her cheek laying against the pillow. She put on some HGTV show and let out a yawn.

Angel came out of the room, muscle shirt and basketball shorts hanging low. He still felt congested and the fevers still gave him the chills. But he felt stronger than last night that was for sure. He heard the television on and knew Alena stayed till he went to sleep at night. His nights were a blur since his fevers seem the worst then. He hoped she went to his pops at night, but he knew her. He was almost sure she slept on Cruz’s bed or the couch.

Picking up the tray of food, he felt bad leaving Alena alone especially since she made the food for him. This was killing him since he had an elaborate plan to confess to her, but instead, she was taking care of him. He began eating the soup, glancing at Alena ever so often. Once he was done, he drank the medication and popped a lozenge in his mouth. Making his way over to the couch, he realized Alena fell asleep.

His heart fluttered, seeing the peaceful state Alena was in. He loved it when she took care of him, but he also didn’t want her to get sick since the flu took such a toll on her due to her asthma.

“You’re so stubborn cielo.” He coughed, covering his mouth, shaking his head. Pushing the coffee table away from her. He placed pillows right beside the couch in case Alena fell. The sun’s rays reflected on her ring, making Angel smile. He was going to put a new ring around her finger, but first, he was going to confess to her and go from there.

Angel went back to bed, wanting to recover quicker so he could have Cruz and Alena back in his arms.

“Angel,” he heard Alena breathily say as he stood up.

For a moment he thought she woke up, but her eyes were closed.

“I love you.”

Angel’s smile widened if that was possible. He couldn’t wait to tell her how he felt.

Later that night, it was around midnight when Alena went to check on Angel. The lights were all off and she knew Angel preferred to sleep with everything off, but he kept things on for her. She hated the dark ever since she was a child. Her imagination always ran wild and she hated going in a dark room. But she had to tough it out since she didn’t want to wake Angel.

She had a small night light near her side of the bed that provided some lighting. She also used her flashlight in her phone, which was dimmed down so it wasn’t too bright. She sat at the armchair at the corner of their room, which Angel placed for her to read when she didn’t want to go to bed yet. She had a throw blanket on there. Sitting down she placed the blanket on her, extending her legs on the footrest in front of the armchair.

The humidifier was on, definitely helping Angel out with this congestion. He texted her that he was beginning to feel better, but still preferred for her to stay away. Which was fine, she just wanted to make sure he was okay then she would sleep in Cruz's room.

Laying her head against the armchair, she watched Angel’s sleeping figure. She missed his touch and constant kisses. She’s not sure why he was more physical than usual, but she wasn’t complaining. With him being sick, Angel kept to himself, which wasn’t like him.

He most likely didn’t want to take care of her when she became ill, which she didn’t blame him. She always tried to go to her mother’s house when she was sick since her mother knew best, but Angel insisted he took care of her.

Maybe it was due to him thinking she would hold it against him, but she wouldn’t. She understood that he couldn’t always take care of her and that was okay.

Can’t always rely on Angel.

Before Alena knew it, sleep overtook her.

Angel jolted awake, breathing heavily.

Nightmares were a bitch, especially when it involved Alena and Marvin. Even though he killed the bastard, the revelation that he touched Alena haunted Angel. He made excuses by using him for Alena’s nightmares and he couldn’t get over that. His nightmares ranged from watching Alena be touched by him or hearing Alena cry out for Angel.

It was awful.

He became more oriented and shook his head. The feeling of congestion was not as strong as before, his headache was gone. His eyes were adjusting to the darkness and finally honed it on Alena who was sleeping on the armchair. Angel frowned, sighing at the sight. His cielo was too stubborn.

Quickly, he used the bathroom before coming back out and walking over to Alena. He picked her up in his arms, careful to not wake her and placed her on their bed. He placed the blanket over her and himself, letting Alena lay her head on his chest. Angel felt more at ease having Alena in his arms after that nightmare.

Marvin wouldn’t touch his cielo ever again.

“I know you can’t hear me right now Alena, but I love you so much.” Angel spoke to Alena often when she was asleep. He’s done it more times than he’s proud of, but he would tell her about all the things he had no courage to do so while she was awake. He rubbed her arm softly, up and down. “I got rid of Marvin for you, he’ll never bother you again. Why do you have to be so stubborn? You’re going to end up sick and I would have to take care of you.” He chuckled. “I don’t mind though, I love how cuddly you are when you’re sick and the red nose you have due to the irritation of the tissue on your nose. It’s okay, I’ll take care of you even though you’re not going to want me to because I can never pass up a chance to be with you cielo.”

Angel slept soundly for the first time in days.

When Alena woke up, she didn’t want to move since the armchair was so warm, so soft, and hard. She snuggled her face deeper and Angel’s familiar scent hit her. She sat up, startling Angel awake as well.

“Oh no, did I go in bed with you?” Alena didn’t remember going to bed with Angel. The last thing she remembered was resting her eyes for a few hours, but she meant to wake up.

“Absolutely cielo, you almost had your way with me, but I resisted.” Angel teased Alena.

She blushed. Alena got out of bed and went to their bathroom. She heard Angel laughing.

When she came out, Angel was still laying in bed. He looked at her and reached out to her.

“Come here cielo.”

Alena bit her lower lip. “No it’s okay, I’m sorry I slept next to you. I know you didn’t want me near you.”

“Yes, well I hate seeing you sick, but at this point, since you don’t care, then I want all the loving, let’s go.” He patted the space beside him.

“I should cook breakfast.” Alena grabbed her phone that Angel placed at her bedside table. She quickly made her exit and thought of what to make.

Angel got up begrudgingly and followed after Alena. He found her in the kitchen starting breakfast.

“I’m feeling better.” Angel announced.

And he sounded better too.

“You’re not as congested.” Alena turned to face him and was surprised how close he was to her. “Angel, you’re too close.”

“Alena, you were literally draped over me last night, this isn’t close enough.” Angel chuckled, biting his lower lip as he looked down at Alena. “Can I kiss you?”

Alena was at a daze, Angel biting his lip was always so fucking hot. Then he ran his tongue over his lips too? There was just so much she could do.

She nodded her head making Angel groan. He cupped her face and kissed her. Alena wrapped her arms around his neck and deepened their kiss. He made a rule then, he didn’t care if she was sick or he was sick, he would kiss her regardless. He missed her lips far too much.

Angel pulled away, placing quick pecks on her lips to let Alena breathe. She wasn’t sure how she felt about this, but she already made up her mind that she would enjoy this for as long as she had it. Angel was too addicting and this was what she always imagined it would be when she was with Angel, but this was still something else.

“I missed you.” Angel wrapped his arms around Alena who mimicked his actions. “Go sit down, I’ll cook breakfast.”

“You’re still recovering.”

“Come on Alena, I’ve been down for four days, I can make a meal.” He kissed her again, Alena pulled away this time so she could put space between them.

“Okay, I’ll call Victor back then since he called me this morning.” She stepped away and grabbed her phone before Angel could pull her back.

“I fucking hate that guy.”

===================

Angel was sitting on the couch with Cruz, waiting for Alena to call him since she was on a girls trip with her mother, Vicki and Carla. They went to Vegas to visit Michelle’s younger sister. It was an impromptu trip and it made Angel antsy, but he was glad Alena could enjoy herself.

His phone rang and it was Coco. He sighed, wishing it was Alena instead.

“What’s up man?” Angel greeted, looking down at Cruz who looked up at him knowing it wasn’t his mother since his father wasn’t smiling like he did when his mother called.

“Hey, hermano, fuck.” Coco took a deep breath, not knowing how to tell Angel. “I didn’t, Alena didn’t tell me that you didn’t know. I thought, I don’t even fucking know.” Coco knew Alena wasn’t supposed to be in town. But Letty called him in a panic asking if he could meet them at Alena’s place in San Diego. Alena became really sick and her inhalers along with her nebulizers were no longer working. “Alena is being admitted to the hospital. They said she has pneumonia.”

Angel almost dropped his phone. “What? No, she’s in Vegas with her mom.”

“No, fuck, see I knew she didn’t tell you.” Coco watched as Alena slept, with Letty sitting beside her bed. “She got really sick a few days ago. We’re in San Diego.”

“No, come on man, what do you really want?”

“Angel, do you think I would lie to you about this? Alena said you knew she was in the hospital, but no one could take care of Cruz. She said that she told you to stay put, which I don’t know why I believed.” Coco shook his head. “I know things are weird between you and EZ, but I called him, told him to come to your place so he could take care of Cruz.”

This wasn’t happening. Alena would tell him if she got sick, especially if she got this bad. Why didn’t she call him? Why did she call Letty and Coco? Angel wasn’t even angry he was just hurt. They spoke yesterday and she seemed fine, she didn’t want to FaceTime which was weird, but she mostly requested to talk to Cruz. They had a brief conversation but otherwise, she was mostly talking to Cruz.

How could she have gotten this bad in the span of four days.

“Cruz wouldn’t want to be away from her.” Angel stood up, Cruz watching him.

“Alena wouldn’t want him here.”

“Apparently she didn’t want me there either.” He walked out the front door, yelling out a few expletives. Alena would do this shit to him. How could she keep him in the dark? He felt his heart race as nervousness filled him. He knew pneumonia could be deadly, especially with Alena’s history.

“Right now isn’t the time to be upset about petty shit like this Angel.”

“You think it’s petty for me to be upset that my wife didn’t tell me that she’s sick?” Angel scoffed. “She at Kaiser?”

“Yeah man, just cool it. The last thing she needs is for you to give her shit. You know how she is, she doesn’t like worrying you.”

“Oppose to this?”

“Just get your ass here. If you’re going to give her shit, don’t bother coming.”

Angel sat down on the couch in Alena’s room, Cruz sleeping on his lap, head resting just below his chest.

This was always hard for Angel.

He’s only seen Alena in the hospital twice. The one prior episode today was when she had another terrible asthma attack and that was difficult. Seeing these machines around her, the beeping, the medications, it was absolutely difficult.

He couldn’t take his eyes off of her because he was afraid she would disappear. She had the nasal cannula on her nose, her vitals looked stable. Carla came to visit and was pleased that Alena seemed to be responding to the antibiotics well.

Angel closed his eyes, just wanting to rest it for a few minutes. He heard the door open and cracked one of his eyes open. Bryan walked in, taking off his jacket and sitting beside his sister’s beside.

“Alena, why do you do this to yourself?” Bryan sighed. “I told you Angel could take care of himself.”

“Can you tell Angel to leave in the morning? I don’t want Cruz to get sick.” Angel was surprised to hear Alena speak. He thought she was sleeping.

“That’s not the main reason you want him to leave.” Bryan received a text message from his sister, requesting for him to come up once Angel and Cruz were asleep. Coco, Letty, and Bryan were downstairs, waiting to switch with Angel. They knew it wouldn’t happen, so they took turns going up to accompany Angel. “Come on Alena, let Angel be there for you, he always has been there for you. Fuck, even more than me.”

“Don’t be so hard on yourself, you’re making up for it.” Angel hated hearing Alena just pushing everything aside. Like her brother didn’t escort her out of their home and to the streets. Angel has never fully forgiven Bryan and he hasn’t forgiven himself either.

“You’re too nice, baby sister.”

Angel tried his best to remain calm and keep to himself. But he knew he would be able to stay quiet for long.

“You’re going to keep pushing him away?”

“Yes, it’d be easier for both of us. He didn’t want me anywhere near him when he was sick.” Angel almost shook his head. His wife was too ridiculous at times.

“Do you ever think that Angel does things for you?”

“Yes, of course, but I know it gets tiring taking care of me. He’s been worrying about me for 15 years. You got tired. Umma got tired. Appa got tired.” Her tone sounded defeated. “He’ll get tired.”

He wasn’t going to let this happen.

“Can you leave us?” Angel’s voice startled the siblings.

Bryan looked at Angel. He saw Angel’s eye cracked open, it was the reason he prompted Alena to talk. Air out these grievances so they could fuckinhr make up already.

“Of course.” Bryan stood up and took Cruz from Angel. Turning back to Alena, he gave her a small smile. “Has father reached out to you?”

“Yes.”

Well, this was a revelation.

“He wants to come see you.”

“No.”

“Of course, I just wanted to see if he truly did reach out to you.” Bryan kissed the top of his sister’s head before leaving her with Angel.

Angel stood up, Alena refusing to look at him and just looked at her hands that were folded over her phone that rested on her lap.

“How you feeling?” Angel took Bryan’s previous seat, moving closer his arm was on her bed.

“I’m okay, how are you? How’s Cruz? You shouldn’t have come, Cruz could get sick.” Alena looked up at Angel then, where she expected to see anger and annoyance, all she saw was concern and hurt. “I’m sorry Angel, I just didn’t want to worry you. I was fine and I don’t know. I’m sorry you had to come here. I’m sorry I troubled you. Just go home and I’ll be home as soon as I’m discharged.”

“I didn’t know this is how badly I’ve hurt you. That you think I wouldn’t want to take care of you? I’ve never once walked away from you Alena, why can’t you trust me and not push me away?”

“It’s not on purpose.”

“But it is, you’re pushing me away. You think this is better? Me finding out from Coco that you got sick? I was pushing you away while I was sick because I can’t stand the sight of you being sick. You think I was pushing you away cause I didn’t want to take care of you?” Angel felt the tears welling up, the frustration and sadness overtaking him. “You’re the best thing in my life Alena, I would spend the rest of my life taking care of you. But seeing you sick? With all these machines and medications connected to you? It’s painful and I fucking hate seeing it. So if I have to push you away for a few days no matter how much I wanted to hold you, that’s fine, as long as we didn’t get here.”

Alena watched as the tears fell from Angel’s eyes, her heart clenching as they did. She placed her hand on top of his, Angel immediately intertwining their hands. He leaned forward resting their hands against his lips then his forehead.

Angel was always good at keeping his emotions in check, Alena knew that. But he knew under that rough exterior was a good hearted man who always wanted the best for the people he loves. He loves fiercely and it was the main reason she fell for him.

“I can’t live without you Alena, I don’t know how to.” Angel sobbed out.

Alena began to cry as well. She hated watching Angel cry, it was far too painful for her.

“I can’t either.” She confessed.

“Then stop this craziness. There’s no point in life will I ever walk away from you and the same goes for you. It’s always been you and me against the world with Cruz.” Angel sniffled, wiping his eyes. “Let me in Alena.”

“My father texted me last night, he told me that it’s been five years since we got married and that he would pay for our divorce.” Alena saw Angel’s eyes darkened, the tears no longer an issue.

“What?” The audacity of that asshole to meddle in their relationship. He hasn’t contacted Alena in four years. No happy birthdays, merry Christmas, how are yous, nothing. And now he had the audacity to tell her to divorce him and would provide the money for it? “Are you fucking kidding me?”

“No, he said he’ll pay you a hefty amount if you sign it.” Alena sighed. “I said no.”

Angel internally thanked the heavens, but nodded his head outwardly.

“I thought you blocked his number and why does your brother still work for the motherfucker?”

“Bryan’s an adult, he can make his choices.” Alena coughed away from Angel, covering her mouth. “I did, guess he changed it. He also said he wanted to make amends.”

“How do you feel about that?” It was a no for Angel, but he knew how kind his wife was, he didn’t want to influence her decision.

“Nothing, there’s nothing to make amends.” Alena gave him a small smile. “I never needed my father when I felt alone, I don’t need him now.”

Angel nodded his head. “I support whatever you want cielo.” He kisses the back of her hand. “Once you get better, you want to grab that brunch we’ve been talking about?”

“I would love that.”

===================

A week later, Angel and Alena finally had their brunch.

Mr. Johnson gave Alena another 2 weeks off to recover and just work from home. It made things much easier on Alena especially with Cruz starting school.

Angel watched as Alena walked ahead of him on the dirt road that led to a cliff that overlooked Santo Padre. There was a bench under a tree at the top, it was a nice place to just hang out and enjoy people’s company.

He was doing it today. He was going to tell Alena how he felt.

This morning, he took her out for brunch at the diner she loves right at the entrance of town. He wasn’t sure why she liked it so much since the food was subpar, but Alena loved it.

So he had to ask her why she did. There were so many better places to eat breakfast in town.

===================

“Why do you like this place so much?” Angel shook the ketchup bottle, squeezing the bottle to get some on his scrambled eggs.

“I don’t know, I’ve always liked their omelettes.” She shrugged. She wasn’t sure she wanted to tell him that this diner held memories for them. The first time she ever cried about a boy, Angel brought her to this diner and got her a milkshake. The second time she came here with Angel, her father just left her family and he took her out for milkshakes again at two in the morning. The third time she came here with Angel, she just got her heart broken for the first time by a boyfriend who dated her since she was smart and he needed someone to do his work for him. The fourth time was when they had a celebratory milkshake cause she got her job with Mr. Johnson.

The last time prior to this one, she and Angel brought Cruz home from the orphanage.

The diner held so many memories for her, ones she shared with Angel, that she always just had a soft spot for it.

“I know that’s a lie because half of their egg dishes are fucking terrible.” Angel passed the ketchup to her so Alena could put some on the side for her hash browns.

“Angel, don’t be mean.” Alena scolded. “You always go here.”

“Because you fucking like it here.”

“You don’t like it here?” Alena frowned.

“No, I mean, I can eat anywhere you know this. I bring you here cause you love coming here.” Angel didn’t want her to think that he didn’t want to be here. He did, whatever she wanted, he was okay with. “Why do you like it here?”

“Um, I’m embarrassed to say.”

“Why? We tell each other everything.” And he did tell her everything, well maybe till recently he didn’t tell her how he truly felt, but now he did. He told her he loved her the other day, but it didn’t seem to register, but he was going to make sure it did now. “Is it sexual?” He teased.

“No.” She laughed. God, he loved her laugh. “You brought me here when I was crying about that one guy I had an awful crush on. And after that you always brought me here when I was feeling down. Guess it just held a special place to me.” She shrugged.

Angel was surprised by her admission. The only reason he brought her here then was due to the fact it was the only thing he could afford that wasn’t fast food. Then afterwards, he brought her here cause she always suggested it when they would go out.

“Damn cielo, so sentimental.”

“Angel, don’t be mean. I honestly thought this was your spot.” Alena blushed, stuffing her mouth with some omelette.

“Hey, you know every place in this town holds memories for us. Most important part is that we’re together and we can keep creating memories together.” He gave her this playful smirk making Alena blush further.

She hated the effect Angel had on her.

===================

Angel watched as Alena did her victory dance when she reached the top. She looked down at him, smiling as she waited. God, he really loved her smile. With everything going on with Ezekiel and his father, he was glad he had Alena and Cruz. They were his family and he only needed them.

Once he got to the top, he wrapped an arm around her shoulders and pulled her against him. He cupped her face and kissed her. Leaving quick pecks on her lips after pulling away, she giggled and walked away from him. She looked down at Santo Padre, enjoying the nice breeze that was currently passing through.

“You don’t mind if I scream right?” Alena turned back to face Angel.

He shook his head. “That’s why I brought you here.”

Whenever Alena felt frustrated, Angel brought her in the middle of nowhere so she could scream. He liked seeing Alena letting her frustrations out.

Alena screamed, Angel laughing as she continued to yell.

“Don’t overdo it baby.” Angel yelled out to her.

Alena took a deep breath and smiled. She felt like a weight was lifted off her shoulders.

“Where do you see yourself in five years?” She heard Angel ask.

She turned to face him and he was seated at the bench below the tree, providing an ample amount of shade. His arms spread out on the top of the bench, legs stretched out in front of him.

“I don’t know, you know me, I never have a plan.” Alena shrugged. Angel was acting odd today. He’s been asking her of her future plans, what she wanted to do for Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Year’s Day. Maybe he was just preparing how holidays would work since they would be separating soon. She understood, but it sucked that it still hurt when she thought about it. She should have walked away a long time ago, but how could she? “Crying maybe because Cruz is gonna be ten.”

He was also very public with his display of affection. He would hold her hand, kiss her, wrap his arms around her, it was really hard on her today. It was like he was preparing her for the heartache.

“You wanna know mine?”

He was done wasting time.

“Sure.” She walked over to him, sitting on the other end of the bench, keeping the distance between them.

“Why are you sitting so far away?” Angel pulled her against him, wrapping an arm around her middle. He intertwined their hands, placing it on his lap. “In five years, I want us to have at least two more kids with one more in the way. Then I hope by then we can all just live together and we can get rid of your apartment in San Diego. We should get a bigger place too, maybe one with a casita so that mom can stay there. I just want us to be together in 5 years.”

Alena froze hearing his plan. Them? To be together?

“What?” She pulled away from him.

Angel kept a hold on her hand, not letting her run away. “I was serious when I told you Alena, I love you. I’ve always loved you. This has nothing to do with Cruz or whatever fucking excuse you could think about, but you’re the love of my life and I can’t let you go.” Angel paused, kissing the back of her hand. “I don’t care if you kissed Victor. I know you feel something for him, but if you give me a chance, I can show you that it’s worth staying with me, just give me a chance cielo.”

“Um, I, but you never liked me, not in this way.” Alena took a deep breath, trying to calm her nerves. “What are you doing?”

“What do you mean what am I doing? I’m fucking confessing to you.” Angel knew he fucked up due to his constant back and forth with Alena, but he really wanted a chance to prove to her that he was worthy. “I would never force you Alena, but I don’t know what I would do without you.”

Alena took her hand and walked away from Angel. He frowned, unsure of what to make of her reaction. He wanted to hold her, reassure her, but he figured that wasn’t what she needed.

“You can’t do this!” Alena was frustrated. How could Angel do this now? She wasn’t sure what this was, but there was no way Angel was in love with her.

“What do you mean I can’t do this? You think I can control what I feel about you? You have me going crazy Alena! I’ve been in love with you, but every time I get the courage to confess, something gets in the way.” Angel stood up, walking over to her. “I’m not going to let Victor get in the way.”

“Why did you keep saying that you didn’t feel anything for me?”

“Because it was easier than having to deal with what I feel for you. I never thought I deserved you Alena and people constantly remind me of that. But I honestly don’t care because I realized that I can’t live without you, I rather live with my insecurities than let you go.” Angel watched as she wrapped her arms around herself, unsure of what to do. “I know you love me. After everything we’ve been through I know some part of you loves me. Everything you’ve done for me, given up for me.” Angel paused, remembering Alena’s confession. “Why didn’t you tell me about Paris?”

Alena sighed. She wanted to tell Angel, she did. Well, she technically told him that she was rejected from the program, but it was just a small lie.

“Who told you?” She breathed out, he was lucky it was quiet cause he wouldn’t have heard her otherwise.

“You didn’t.” Well she didn’t technically.

Alena sighed. “I don’t know, I wasn’t sure if I was going.” She wasn’t exactly sure why she was lying. It was a thing of the past and she didn’t leave. She wanted to tell Angel, but she knew if he requested for her to stay put, she would do it no questions asked.

“But you were going.”

“I was, I wanted to start fresh and move on from you. I couldn’t keep waiting for something that was never going to come.” Alena turned away from him then. She hated conversations like this, confessing, telling someone things that you never meant for them to hear. Well, she always wanted to tell Angel, but it just was never the right time. “But then Cruz came and I couldn’t leave.”

“Why?” Angel wanted her to say it, to tell him that she was in love with him too, just like she did a few nights ago.

“Because you needed me and I could never walk away from you. I love you far too much to do so. When we got married, it felt so real and great. I’ve always wanted to marry you and when it finally happened, it wasn’t my ideal scenario, but it happened.” Alena remembered how happy she was to marry Angel. Even though the reasons were not the reasons she wanted, she didn’t care since she was a Reyes. She could enjoy having Angel at any capacity. “I know we had a timeline and you most likely would be with other people while we were married, but knowing we could raise Cruz together was enough for me. That I can be there for you in any way I can be. You’ve always saved me and for once, I could repay you.”

Angel felt his heart clench as he listened to Alena. He knew that’s how she felt. That she did everything for him knowing she would get hurt. How could she be so naive and stupid? And the fact she thought he stepped out on her and swallowed it since she knew what she was signing up for, it upset him further.

“I know all the women at the clubhouse want you, hell half of Santo Padre wants you. All of these women befriended me to get close to you and I couldn’t blame them. I know they all thought I was stupid for taking on this role but when I met Cruz, all I could think of was you and how much you deserve to be a father to this child who looked just like you.” Alena wiped the tears falling from her eyes. “Meeting you has been the best thing that happened to me. You saved me from that coach, from losing myself when my parents separated, when my father kicked me out and they turned their back on me. I don’t know what’s going on, but you don’t have to do this. This may be some guilt cause I gave up Paris or whatever, but it’s okay. I’m sure you're antsy to get out of this marriage.” Alena forced herself to laugh. “I hope I wasn’t that much of a pain while we were married with all my appointments and medication stuff. I’ll still be here for you and Cruz, but can you just do me a favor? Tell me when you meet someone so I can mentally prepare myself.” She wanted to disappear, to go back to her car and just recollect herself. Being so vulnerable was difficult for her.

Angel hated hearing Alena talk in that way. How could she think that she didn’t matter to him? That he could even walk away from her? That this whole thing was his guilt about Paris? The fuck? This woman drove him fucking crazy, but he loves her, so he’ll fight her demons for her.

“Alena, there’s no one else I want to be with than you. I told you I haven’t been with anyone since we got married. Can you stop pushing yourself to the side and let me love you? I’m not your father, I’m not going to leave you. I’m not going to hurt you if I can prevent it.” Angel wrapped his arms around her from behind. “I’m all in Alena, just give me a chance to prove it and I’ll give you the world.” He leaned his forehead against the back of her head, praying to god she would give him that chance.

Alena placed her hand over her mouth, the tears freely falling. This had to be a dream. Angel Ignacio Reyes was confessing to her and she couldn’t even believe it. She took a deep breath, trying to compose herself at such an unbelievable moment.

“I would never sign those papers Alena, unless you want me to. Do you want me to sign those papers?” Alena hasn’t served him the papers, but he didn’t want to get there. It would break him if she ever handed him divorce papers.

Alena’s shoulders were shaking so he knew she was crying. He didn’t want her to cry.

He opened his mouth to further convince her, but she turned around wrapping her arms around him.

She shook her head, “no, I don’t want you to. Please don’t leave me.”

“Fuck cielo, I never will if I can help it.” Angel looked up, thanking god. He really didn’t know who he saved or who he fucking killed in a past life, but thank fucking god.

“Are you sure this is what you want?” He heard her ask.

He pulled away from her and kissed her. He knew it would take some time, but after all the shit he put her through, he would do anything for her.

“Yes, I want you and only you.” Angel chuckled. “God, I can’t even tell you how happy I am.”

Alena wiped her tears. “So what are we?”

“We’re husband and wife. We’re not going to fucking regressed, you’re my wife, I’m your husband, no ifs, maybes, or but’s. Just you and me.”

Alena nodded her head. “Okay, that’s good with me.”

“No more secret dates with Victor.”

“No more secret dates.” Alena laughed.

“Did you really have feelings for him?”

“Yes, but they’re not as strong as what I feel for you.”

Angel figured since they were getting everything out in the open, he might as well bring up what she told him while she was intoxicated.

“Why didn’t you tell me about the coach?”

“I did tell you.” She was confused by his statement since he was one of the few people that she told.

“No, you never told me that he threatened me which was why you let him touch you in the first place.”

Alena frowned, she never told anyone else that except Coco. How did Angel find out? Her eyes closed then. Her dream wasn’t a dream, Angel was really there. “No, oh my god, you were there, it wasn’t a dream.” Alena pulled away from him, a pressure in her chest appearing as her breathing slightly quickened. She never wanted Angel to find out. No one needed to know that. She was never drinking again and if she was, she would go to a place with no reception.

“Alena, how could you not have told me?” He wanted to start fresh with Alena, no secrets.

“Because you would have been ridden with guilt. You always protected me and I had to protect you.” Alena wrapped her arms around herself, hating this conversation. She didn’t mean to withheld information from Angel. She just didn’t want to upset him.

“Baby, I just, you didn’t have to go through that for me. I’m not worth it.”

Alena frowned. “To me you were, still are.”

“Alena, how long did he abuse you?”

“I told you three months.” Ailee looked up at Angel, his hands on his hips as he shook his head. “It was.”

“Alena, don’t lie, please.” Angel pleaded.

“Nine months.”

Angel turned away from her, yelling out fuck. Alena watched him, frowning at his reaction. She wasn’t afraid, she just felt terrible for keeping it from him.

“Alena, nine months?” Angel felt his heart clench as he imagined what Alena had to endure due to her need to protect him. “Nine months? Cielo,” Angel walked over to her, wrapping his arms around her. He let out a breath that was mixed with a sob. “Fuck, Alena, why didn’t you tell me sooner?”

“It wasn’t bad at first, I know it’s not an excuse but, I don’t know.” Alena frowned, holding on to Angel’s shirt that was under his kutte. “I didn’t want to trouble you, I thought he would stop after the first time, but he didn’t.” She felt her tears well up. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to keep it from you.”

Angel pulled away from her, cupping her face. He wiped the tears falling from her eyes. “No more secrets, okay? We’re a fucking team baby, don’t keep anything from me so you can hurt on your own. I love you Alena, please trust me and be honest with me. I tell you everything, it might hurt you, but I want you to know cause we’re a team.”

Alena nodded, sniffling as the tears kept coming. She was terrible at sharing, she was used to sitting in her own pain. But she should know Angel was here for her, he always has been.

She just didn’t want to burden him any further.

“Listen, I’m going to take care of you, Cruz and our future children till I take my last breath. Alena, you haven’t been alone since you were eleven years old. I’m always going to be here, you’re not a burden and even if you were I will carry you.” Angel knew full disclosure was full disclosure. “I killed him.”

“What?” Alena looked up at him.

“He came back here, I ran into him at the grocery store the day after you got drunk.” Angel sighed, caressing her face with his thumb. “The anger I felt, it was, I can’t even explain it. He used me as some sort of excuse for your nightmare and I couldn’t forgive that. I couldn’t let him continue on while you relieved your nightmare over and over again. I had to make sure he wouldn’t hurt you again, that he won’t be able to hurt anyone else again.”

“You didn’t have to kill him for me Angel, I wouldn’t want you to do that.” Alena frowned, but she knew why Angel had to do it. She wasn’t celebrating his death, but she wasn’t upset either.

“I would do anything to keep you safe Alena.” Angel pulled her against him again.

This was the start of their new chapter. No more secret looks or feelings, everything was out in the open.

Angel never felt more relieved than he did now.

It was him and Alena against the world, just like it’s always been.

===================

Myrna watched as Cruz ran back inside from the backyard, Riz following after him. She smirked. She knew how she could win Cruz over, comfort him when he got hurt. She stuck her leg out, causing Cruz to fall, landing on his forearm. He turned, sitting down, and held his right arm. He let out a loud cry, causing all of the girls to come in, with the exception of Maxine who saw the entire exchange.

“Oh no Cruz,” Myrna crouched down, taking the young boy in her arms. She had to admit, this might have been a mistake since he was obnoxious as hell. She picked him up, standing up and tapping his back in an attempt to comfort him. “Are you okay?”

“The fuck you mean is he okay?” Riz took Cruz from Myrna, shaking his head. “You tripped him.”

“I did not, it was an accident.” Myrna argued.

“Mommy!” He cried out, still holding his arm.

Maxine stood up and was about to take Cruz from Riz when Alena and Angel walked in, Angel’s arm wrapped around her shoulders, the biggest smiles on their faces.

“Baby?” Alena immediately frowned, making her way towards Riz who was rubbing Cruz’s back to soothe him. He was glaring at Myrna, who looked like she wanted to disappear.

Cruz immediately turned to Alena, reaching for her with his uninjured arm. Alena quickly took him, soothingly rubbing his back and whispering, ‘its okay’, into his ear. Angel narrowed his eyes at Myrna who looked like a deer caught in headlights. Maxine shook her head, in disbelief that Myrna would stoop this low.

“Myrna tripped Cruz.”

Fuck that bitch.

“What?!” Myrna exclaimed, quickly turning to Maxine. “You fucking bitch, I did not.”

“Myrna, I fucking saw it too.” Riz stepped beside Maxine, glaring at the young woman before him. “I was right behind him.”

Angel’s eyes darkened, he was about to walk over to her when Alena stuck her arm out, handing Cruz over to Angel. Without any words, Angel took Cruz who was sobbing softly, burying his face at the crook of Angel’s neck. Before anyone could even register what happened, Alena punched Myrna right on the nose, causing her to fall back, holding her nose in shock.

“Listen here, I don’t care if you have a problem with me. You want to be a bitch to me? That’s fine. But don’t you ever hurt my son again or I wouldn’t think twice of doing more damage to you.” Alena warned. “Stay the fuck away from my son, if you even come anywhere near him, I’ll break your nose again. While we’re at it stay the fuck away from my husband too.”

Myrna nodded her head, slightly terrified by the frightening tone Alena had. Maybe she pushed it to the limit this time. Vicky, who saw the whole exchange clapped.

“Get the fuck out of my house, pack your shit and be out before the end of the night.” Vicky added, wrapping her arm around Alena and leading her away so she couldn’t do anymore damage.

Angel watched the whole scene before him and he wasn’t even ashamed to say that it turned him on. Assertive Alena was something else. Whenever she went to mama bear mode protecting their kid, it did something to him.

Did she just say stay the fuck away from her husband?

Was his cielo protecting him? Was she being possessive over him?

Fuck, he had to have her.

He felt like a teenager. He was always able to be celibate for months, but a month of not having any sexual interactions with Alena was too fucking much for him. This was just the icing on the cake.

“Damn baby, that was hot.” Angel told her when she took Cruz back.

“Shut up Angel.”

“Yes ma’am.”

“Let's take him to urgent care, so we can get an X-ray or something.” Alena turned back to face the girls. She glared at Myrna before looking up to her godmother. “Thank you for taking care of Cruz, we’ll be going now.” Angel was impressed that Alena could still be so courteous after what Myrna did, but that’s how his wife was, a fucking Saint, his fucking Saint.

Alena sat in the back with Cruz, who was still holding his arm. He leaned his head on his car seat, towards the side where Alena was. She placed her hand on his leg, letting him know she was there. It didn’t take them long to arrive at the urgent care and it was thankfully empty.

The provider who saw them immediately diagnosed him with a nursemaid's elbow, which could occur during a fall. His elbow was basically displaced. The doctor on duty reduced it, moving his arm in a certain maneuver that slid it back in place. After a few minutes, the pain had subsided as Cruz stopped crying. He was sniffling but he was now moving his arm.

“Alright little man, you’re all better.” The doctor smiled down at him as he took something out of his pocket. “Look, I got you something.” He handed Cruz stickers and a lollipop. The young boy’s eyes lit up upon seeing this and thanked the doctor. “You’re very welcome. We’ll give him a sling just for comfort, but otherwise you guys are good to go.”

“Thanks doc.” Angel watched as Alena held Cruz close to her, letting him place stickers all over her. He liked watching Cruz and Alena. They may not be blood, but nothing could break their bond.

“No problem Angel, tell Bishop thanks again for the car part he obtained for me.”

“I’ll let him know.”

Once they got their discharge paper, Alena and Angel made their way to his truck. He had an arm wrapped around Alena while Cruz walked in front of them, admiring the Mickey Mouse stickers he got.

“Let’s drop Cruz off at pops.” Angel whispered into Alena’s ear.

“What? Why?” Alena thought they talked it out earlier and had nothing else to discuss.

“I really want to fuck you right now. That display with Myrna got me fucking hard, baby.” Angel pulled her against him, letting Alena feel his erection that was being suppressed by his jeans. “Come on cielo, I really want to fucking worship you.”

“No, come on Angel, Cruz just hurt himself.” She blushed at how forward Angel could be.

She saw the glint of mischief in his eyes. She knew he wouldn’t let this go.

When they arrived home, Alena ordered some pizza and wings, inviting Gilly and Coco over. She figured they would be a good distraction for Angel. When they came in through the door, Angel gave Alena an odd look before a smirk spread across his lips. He cornered her in the kitchen as she cooked some dumplings which she was craving for.

“I see what you’re doing,” he shook his head, amused by her methods. “Aren’t you off for another week baby?”

Alena’s boss went on a mini vacation with his brothers and sisters, along with his nieces and nephews, so he gave her the week off as well even after he gave her the last week off. He invited her to come along, but she chose to stay back, just to get some time away from her boss.

“Yes?” Alena gave him a questioning look.

“By the end of the night, you won’t be able to walk for at least half the week.” He kissed her before going back to the living room to sit with Gilly, Cruz and Coco.

===================

Alena threw her head back as Angel nipped at her neck, leaving hickeys all over. His fingers went in and out of her, Alena’s hips thrusting down to meet his fingers.

“Look at you baby, sucking me in. Fuck.” They were on their bed, with Alena sitting in between his legs. Angel’s other hand was under his shirt that she was wearing, tweaking her nipples with his fingers. “Mi cielo, you look so beautiful and you’re all mine.”

She threw her head back, laying it on Angel’s shoulder. Biting down on her lip, her breathing increased as she tried to chase that euphoric feeling Angel was always able to provide for her.

“Angel.” She mewled out. She was clenching around him, causing Angel to go faster with his ministrations. He whispered ‘I love yous’ into her ear, how much he adored her, and Alena came, her juices being caught by Angel’s palm as he continued to move his fingers in and out of her.

“You’re so wet baby, remember when you were teasing me, not letting me touch you?” She felt his hot breath on her ear, Alena held the hand that was covered with her juices. She turned around, kneeling in front of Angel. She took his fingers into her mouth, sucking her juices out of it. His eyes darkened, whatever punishment he thought he would give Alena was completely out of his mind.

“Fuck baby, you taste good right? You’re my favorite meal of the day.”

She moved closer to him, connecting their lips. Straddling his lap, her knees were on either side of him, cupping his face.

“I love you Angel.” Her lips hovering over his.

“I love you mi cielo.” He looked down as he watched her hand go down his chest, his abdomen, and into his boxers. Her hand wrapped around his cock, his hands resting on her hips. “Baby girl,” he breathed out as she took his precum, spreading it for lubrication. “You’re driving me crazy Alena.”

“Yeah daddy? Do you want my mouth on you?” Alena has never been so forward and Angel didn’t know where this was coming from, but he was a big fan.

“You know I do mami, always.”

Alena moved so she was kneeling in front of him again. She moved his boxers down and was about to put her mouth on him, but the knocking brought them out of their haze.

“Mommy!” They heard Cruz wail out.

Alena immediately got out of bed, picking up her discarded underwear and shorts. Angel ran to the bathroom to clean himself up while Alena went over to the door. She took a deep breath before opening the door.

Cruz immediately ran to Alena, wrapping his arms around her legs. Cruz’s bunny was with him, Cruz holding him tightly.

“What’s wrong baby?” Alena picked him up, his face immediately buried at the crook of her neck. She closed the door, locking it and made her way back on the bed. She threw the blanket on the floor, not wanting Cruz to lay down where she and Angel were fooling around.

Cruz continued to cry, not talking and just clutching Alena’s shirt. Angel came out of the bathroom and she mouthed blanket to him, which he got one from the closet down the hall. He came back and laid the blanket down. Alena was holding Cruz, rubbing his back.

“What’s wrong Cruzito?” Angel wrapped his arms around Aena and Cruz who were laying down. Angel was laying on his side, his head right next to Alena. “Did you have a nightmare?”

Cruz nodded his head, turning his head to face Angel.

“I had a dream that mommy left.”

Angel’s heart clenched hearing that since he’s had the same nightmare. It made him sad that Cruz had the same nightmare, but he knew Alena would never walk away from Cruz. From him it was possible. From Cruz? Not possible at all.

Alena turned her head to face Angel and she had tears welling up in her eyes.

“Baby, mommy would never leave you.” Alena assured him, kissing the top of her head.

“You promise?” Cruz held on tighter to Alena’s shirt.

Angel caressed Cruz’s head, trying to comfort his son. He wasn’t surprised that Cruz’s biggest fear was that Alena would leave. During the first few years of this arrangement, he was worried that Alena would get overwhelmed and walk away. Which he felt stupid for thinking since it was Alena. She stuck by him and was the best mother to Cruz. She was his best friend, partner, wife, and the love of his life.

He couldn’t imagine a world without her.

“I promise.”

Her words made Angel feel at ease, but he knew he had to prove to her that he wasn’t like everyone else. That he would always be there for her.

Everyone else might walk away, but he would never do so.

In their history, Alena was the one who has been able to walk away from him, to close him off. It was the reason he kept his feelings to himself. Alena has never rejected him and never put him second. He was always number one. Admitting that he had feelings for her would be handing her the reins and this uncertainty frightened him.

But after facing a possibility of losing her.

He couldn’t deal with that.

He’d rather give her the reins than lose her.

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