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#and hopefully this should make it easier to tell what point in his life ur at
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night! uh, can u do sum for me like, it would be very very cool from you. can you do like jason x apollo reader that she’s like a ray of sunshine with absolutely anyone and he’s like so in love but she doesn’t know until he wins capture the flag/war games (it depends on wich camp they’ll be) and he’s like “this win is for y/n” and she’s like “oh my father does he like me back?” pls pls??
oh and thank you thank you thank you for writing so well and about jason (he’s so perfect but so underrated i’m crying.) thanks again, i luv ur writing!
⋆⭒˚.⋆ jason grace x daughter of apollo! reader hcs
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content: jason grace x daughter of apollo! reader hcs warning: none that i can think of???? author's note: this is for the THREE people that all asked for jason grace x daughter of apollo. it was really scary yall like coordinated that shit bc they all came in at the same time- also...why does apollo reader ALWAYS kick my ass like this was such a bitch to write and like...why???? stupid fucking god of poetry, suck a dick bro fr let me write in peace. im already dyslexic, what more could you want from me??
jason grace had got the hots for the sun's daughter
he couldn't help it
she was just so sweet from the moment he'd met her
he'd been helping leo with something in bunker nine
one second he was holding up sheet metal, the next it was crashing down against his already sensitive nogin
leo rapidly took the son of jupiter to the infirmary, where jason met you
"oh, jeez. another head condition, mr. grace?? giving that brain a run for it's money," you mused with a beaming smile and a soft wink
and jason was a goner
you weren't even a healer, you just liked to make the patients feel better with jokes or legit just your bubbly personality
from that moment on, jason used every excuse to be near you as much as he could
and everyone could tell what was going on with the golden boy
except, naturally, you
which frustrated jason to no end
"do you wanna come hang out in my cabin?" he offered, fighting off his blush mentally
"we always hang out in your cabin, silly," you replied with a winkle of your nose before linking your arm with jason and dragging him off, leaving him to sigh behind your back
"i- i like that shirt on you, y/n. looks really, really good," he tried again in the middle of archery practice, completely missing a shot to tell you that.
"thanks!! it's kayla's but she let me borrow it for today," you hummed, shooting a perfect bullseye shot without any effort, beaming a smile at the boy, who deflated at your lack of flirty response.
then, jason got a brilliant idea when he was talking to percy about capture the flag
he was gonna win, hopefully single handedly, and then do some grand romantic gesture and ask you on a date
should be easy for a child of the big three
except for the fact that his group was against the nike cabin, who were foaming at the mouth for a win
he prayed the gods, more specifically aphrodite, were on his side
the day finally came and jason was completely in the zone, never wanting to win something more in his entire life
well, maybe your heart but still
from the moment the conch shell blew, he was a man on a mission
people began parting out of his way, not wanting to get caught up in that mess
which made it easier to find the flag, some of the demeter kids even pointing him in the right direction
once he found it, he just dropped his sword and sprinted it over the river
bro was fast as lightening
and i think some people were kung fu fighting???
(that made me gag, i apologize-)
(could i delete it?? yes. but if i have to suffer the cringe, so do you.)
ANYWAYS, MOVING ON
jason and his team were dubbed the winners, the flag changing to match cabin one and laurels were placed on his head
bro was pracing around like a show pony, searching the crowd for you
"way to go, jason! congrats, but we're so getting you next time!" you giggled, beaming up at the blonde boy, who couldn't seem to pull his eyes away from you
"well, as far as prizes go, id say these laurels are pretty crappy," jason hummed, removing the crown of golden leaves from his head and inspecting it.
just like he practice in the mirror every morning leading up to this day, same with his words.
this is scripted and being spontaneous wasn't exactly the son of jupiter's strong suit
especially not around pretty girls
"do you guys getting better prizes at new rome or-?" you questioned and you would have said more but then jason gently placed the laurels on your head, smiling as you looked up at them in confusion.
"there, that's a much better prize," he smiled, which only widened as you blushed, ducking your head and causing the laurels to slip slightly
"that's- that's very sweet, jason," you muttered, rocking on your heels as you looked away from him.
the boy you were completely enamored with was telling you he thought you were a prize when you were certain he didn't even like you
like bro wtf???
"well, a sweet girl like you deserves very sweet," he added, enjoying the blush that was settling over your cheeks, "you wanna, maybe, go on a picnic with me?"
"YES- er, yeah, uh, that sounds great. totally, yes, im down," you reply, trying to desperately recover from your far to eager response.
"sounds like a date," jason mused, his smile unstoppable around the sunshine girl.
"more war spoils for the victor?" you teased, pushing the laurels pointly up on your head.
"if you were my war spoils, i'd never lose another fight."
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stairset · 3 years
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Going through my list of Anakin songs one-by-one to pick which ones to put on the final playlist and realizing I don’t have any songs that really fit him in Rogue One, A New Hope or Empire Strikes Back
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angelkurenai · 3 years
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Beautifully reckless - Dean Winchester x Reader
Title: Beautifully reckless
Pairing: Michael!Dean Winchester x Reader
Warnings: None
Prompt: lately i just felt like reading a michael!dean fic, and since you're an amazing writer, I'd love to see you write a one shot/imagine with him. so here you go, reader is sam's and dean's friend who is a psychic, and after michael possesses dean, he starts feeling something for her that he never felt before? just some soft michael!dean, please? i love ur fics, they are truly unique and awesome to read
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“Took you long enough, you bastard.”
The voice tone, to some extent, took Michael by surprise, to the point he jumped on the spot. Though he would never admit to that. He was used to respect, well, fear actually and he was used to hearing calculated and careful words. It wasn't like he had not been called that many more times before, but that was mostly in his face, and not behind his back (literally) and in such a tone. Not when everyone around him knew better than to push their luck. The fact that he really wasn't still around the people who used to tremble in fear when he was facing them, or not actually, and that he, Michael himself, wasn't entirely the same person as when he was in the Apocalypse world.
“I- Excuse me?” he couldn't stop the words from leaving his lips before he stopped in his steps and turned around to face the source of the voice that was so bold.
Within barely the span of a minute, he found himself being stunned twice... or maybe thrice, but there was barely any time to duel on that. Not in those first few seconds. Not when the sudden giddiness overwhelmed him and his breath came out shakily, as if somebody had just knocked it out of him. What was it that had just happened to him made him frown but his attention was instantly back on you.
The smile on the face of the person standing before him was not a surprise on it's own, seeing how much the sparkling and warm eyes told him that smiling was not a rare occurrence, but rather the fact that he had not expected such a friendly and caring, if the words were even enough to explain it, smile on your face after the way the words had sounded. Or perhaps it had indeed been all him and there had not been a real threat behind those words. He, after all, still kept forgetting that things had changed drastically.
“Let me guess-” the smile turned into a smirk, the teasing kind, the friendly and familiar kind of teasing he had truthfully never been on the receiving end and that sent him off balance “This is payback for those three weeks I stood you up in a row huh? Fair enough, fair enough. You had the right to not show up today either so I suppose I should be grateful you're here. And we're perfectly timed too.”
“Perfectly timed?” he repeated “I actually-” but before he could get to complete his sentence, he felt a pair of arms wrapping around him in what could clearly and very easily be described as a quick hug. It wasn't the long, tight and longing one he might have expected, probably because it hadn't been long since you had last been in touch, however that was not what he really dueled on at that moment. Not something he could duel on that is, not when he had to stop himself from returning the hug himself.
It was an impulse which he could again easily recognize, and even more easily blame on you. Because you had to be the one to blame, there was no other explanation. There was no other way to describe the way his body had just straight up frozen, not in shock but rather eager no less than a puppy (he could never admit to that) to turn to face you, eager to close the distance and eager to take everything in, whether it be by just getting to look at you or by, hopefully (why really?), getting to have you melt in his arms. Though shockingly enough he found himself doing the latter, feelings his muscles relax and a soft breath leave his lips when you were wrapped around him. It was strange, in a frightening way, and he had to push back all those feelings despite how he realized that it was easier to breathe with you there, without any weight resting on his chest. It was you who was responsible, that was easy to understand. What wasn't easy was the why. Why all of a sudden he felt this way with you?
“Gosh, Winchester-” ah yes, how did he not realize it? He was indeed the reason why and Michael hadn't even given his vessel a second thought, not until your eyes locked with his and his heart skipped a beat or two “I'll be able to see an angel's true form before you ever get rid of the green plaid huh?”
“I-” he looked down at himself, well aware that he hadn't had the chance to change Dean's clothes just yet “Funny enough, it was exactly what I had in mind too. Was actually planning on it.”
“Oh finally ready to dress to impress? Hm I wonder how I will be able to spot you next in the crowd. Was lucky this time I suppose.” you pulled away, playful smile ever present.
His eyes narrowed slightly in a way that must have scared his enemies in the past but that held no real threat this time, and maybe that was the most scary part: that he didn't meant it to be, especially to you “And... what makes you think I was actually heading this way?”
“Oh I see.” you placed your hand on your hips, nodding your head with a growing smirk “Feeling bold today. We haven't seen each other in quiet some time and here you come, ready to take me by surprise. I must warn you, though you already know, so I better say remind you-” you took a step closer to him and although he didn't let it show on his face, well, on Dean's face (or so he hoped) that didn't mean he didn't feel the flutter in his chest and the sudden weakness of his knees “You-” you poked his chest with your pointer and he could swear he felt the skin of his vessel start burning there, as if a fire was there that was only spreading “Would find it hard to surprise me, Dean. Not many people can, it's a tough challenge.”
“Well, you might have just done it there. It's time you finally found the right person because I was never one to say no to a challenge.” he felt his own lips form into a smirk, even though he was unable to believe how much he enjoyed seeing the sparkle of excitement in your eyes. Soon followed by the very familiar playfulness he could grow used to. And why shouldn't he? He had his sword, his perfect vessel, and nobody could take that away. He was in full control over Deans body and you clearly had not realized any difference, because apparently for what it mattered, maybe he was a lot like Dean after all- or at least could be, and that was more than enough.
“Bold of you to assume-” you pulled away and he had to stop himself- his vessel from taking a step forward to still be close with you “That it's a game with only one player. Let's see just how easily surprise you can be, Winchester. Feels like after years of friendship I might still be able to learn something new about you.”
“Then it would only be right to warn you I am not that easily taken by su-”
His words would have certainly held more value and determination, if not a chance at convincing you, if his voice had not wavered and, halfway through the sentence, they hadn't been cut off by a far-from-manly yelp that broke through his lips.
Well, if that wasn't a first. Again.
“Yeah, I get it. I get it. You macho man.” you scoffed, but the smirk on your lips was so playful that it almost made him forget what had just happened. Almost. Or maybe just for the moment, because he was sure he had a lot of thinking to do afterwards and maybe a much-needed conversation with his vessel about it.
“I- I didn't-” he blinked, more stunned with himself for reacting this way than anything else.
“'S alright-” you grinned at him in the end “Just, enough talking. Come on, this is no place for that kind of stuff.” you giggled and he got the impression that this wasn't a first for you, so really he ought to be prepared to be surprised in more ways than he could ever imagine.
“Wha- what a-are you-” it was so unlike him but everything about this situation was unlike anything he'd experienced before, he didn't really know what he should consider a normal reaction at this point.
“Wha- what?” you teased, mimicking him “Cat got your tongue, Winchester? Come on, move your pretty ass before they give our table away if we keep talking here.”
And just because he was such a fool for you already, or perhaps out of some inexplicable fear that your table would indeed be given away and you would have to part ways before he got enough of it, he didn't need to be told twice. He followed after you no better than a lost puppy, even if he'd deny it for the rest of his existence, not paying an ounce of attention as he should to the rest of his surroundings. And so, he didn't know what should alarm him more out of the two. The fact that it was easy to let go and relax so easily around you or the fact that he couldn't bring himself to be too far away from you.
Michael was confused. And whenever he was confused, as with anything in his entire existence ever since he was in heaven, he was intrigued. And whenever he was intrigued, he followed the one that interested him. Admittedly it had been centuries, if not ever before in his life, since the one to interest him in this way had been a person, and no less a woman like you.
“Feels like forever, doesn't it?” you breathed out as you both settled into your seats “I shouldn't tell you this but gosh... You're making me so sentimental and weak, Winchester, I'll have to change that somehow. But I have no idea how you do it in the first place, so...” you huffed with, narrowing your eyes at him.
“Good to know.” the easy smile on his lips felt both like his own and not “So I have to keep it up then.” and when he realized he too too much pleasure in your being playful with him, rolling your eyes, he didn't feel like questioning whose pleasure it was.
Your lips parted, and truth was he would have loved nothing more than to hear you tease him again, but he was also thankful for the interruption from the waitress and the moment of silence that followed afterwards, because at least then he had some time to gather his own thoughts, replay any moments that should have struck more than how beautiful your smile was or the way you looked at him.
Well, not him, Dean. But maybe-
“You said...” he started just as you'd given your orders, though he had barely cared about that when the thought crossed his mind “See an angel's true form?”
“Wha- Oh that.” you laughed, shaking your head “I'm not even close to that yet, I'm afraid. Not as much as I'd like but that's only because you're to blame, Winchester. I'm being as careful as I can so as expected things are going slow.”
“You've been... trying?” the confusion, if not the worry, was evident on his face much as he tried to hide it.
“If you say one more time that us psychics are too curious for our own good then I will kick you.” you said and proceeded to do just that under the table with your foot, managing to earn a small groan followed by a warm laugh from Dean.
“You said if. But I didn't say a damn thing!” he protested, still laughing and enjoying (far too much) the innocent shrug you gave him.
“Just taking precautions.” you grinned before you paused for a second too long and looked back up at him again with a softer smile, if he could even call it that, because it didn't reach your eyes not the way it should as he had observed the past couple minutes “I just...” you let a soft sigh “I'm sorry. I've- I know I've made you worry far too many times in the past. Scared you even. And well, you're no better sure, but I'm supposed to be the friend who has the functioning brain cells here and I haven't really lived up to that. I know-” another sigh and he was really starting to feel bothered by how much this seemed to stress you out, more than it stressed him out to keep up the act “I know how much you worry you. I really do. So I promise, even if it's hard for me, that I will hold back if I see things getting out of hand and I'm in danger again.”
The words rang in his ears louder than actual sirens ever could.
“Again?” he repeated with a raised eyebrow. He knew he probably looking more accusing than concerned, if not what he felt even more deep down: terrified. And he didn't even know what was more alarming anymore. The way his heart squeezed inside his chest or his palms clenched in order for his body to cope with the fact that his blood had ran cold and the shivers were far too unpleasant.
He didn't like it, he didn't like it one bit and he knew something had to be done about it.
“Figure of speech, I promise. There haven't been any close calls. At least- You know, ever since we last saw each other that is. But that too has been quiet some time. Speaking of which-” the smile returned on your lips and he had almost not realized it was not there until he understood how the uneasiness in his chest was also due to how you looked so distraught “How have things been for you hm? I haven't the slightest idea about what my two idiots have been up to lately. Is Sam alright?”
“Well, he's been... keeping busy, to say the least. Same goes for me. I wouldn't even know where to begin. Think of it as... a multiverse of madness being out there that needs the Winchesters to deal with.” he forced a small smile on his lips but he barely felt it to begin with, even if you were trying to stir the conversation away from any dangerous endeavors you might's recently had. And, truth be told, he couldn't even begin to think of all the times you might've gotten in trouble that weren't because of your own actions. The mere realization of that fact brought another unpleasant shiver down his spine.
“Ah, makes sense. We've been meeting up in this place at least once every week. 'S good though, I suppose, to take a break once in a while.” you gave a soft shrug, resting your chin on your palm and looked at him through your lashes “I am afraid we were both turning into two very sentimental fools, after all. Coming here, in the place we first met, after all these years.” a small laugh escaped your lips but he could hear the nervousness behind it, see how shy you were about it and deep down he loved seeing this side of you as well, if not wonder what else he could possibly do to evoke it “What are we anyway?”
The question did something to him and he soon realized it wasn't really him, but Dean. He couldn't always tell the difference, what with the Winchester being his perfect vessel, but in that moment he could, crystal clear. And once again it piqued his interest.
“Well, I don't know about you but I for one-” he paused to look into your eyes, to try and read some sort of emotion on your eyes that he might miss otherwise “Don't think I mind so much. Hell, I'll take pride in being always a fool for you.”
To see the way your eyes widened and your back straightened in surprise. Surprise that the words were said out loud or that they were said and were straight to the point, he couldn't tell. What he could tell was that you were not used to this and it was a good thing because things were changing and in a way this should too.
“Ah Dean, whatever happened to you these past months?” you looked away from him when you snapped out of the shock you were in, not that the small forced laugh was any indicator but the fact that you still felt stunned if not shy. You shook your head “Have some mercy on my poor heart, will you? Don't say things like that so carelessly.”
“I'm not being careless. If anything... I'm being honest.” and doing an incredible job at not showing how much that scares me but he couldn't really say that out loud and he knew “Besides, you were the one who started it.”
“Well, yes but actually no. This is what we do, Dean, you can't just go and- and be so... open about it. We-” a nervous laugh that he found too adorable for his poor heart's sake, well Dean's actually but it felt all the same at that moment “What was it that Sam called it? Uh yes, we're both too emotionally constipated to function like proper humans.”
“We don't talk about it remember?” you added in almost a whisper voice, making Michael wonder what was really there more than your playful banter and the way his vessel's heart couldn't rest for a minute “Besides, I know you're not as cool about it as you'd like to think. I can see it all over your face, so stop pretending Winchester.” you huffed, leaning back in your seat with your arms crossed over your chest, and he realized maybe he had underestimated you.
“And that is supposed to mean... what exactly?” he couldn't help the edge his voice took, too many years, centuries that felt an eternity, had taken their toll on him.
“Well, many things actually. But what matters most right now is one...” you tilted your head to the side, a soft expression on your face which stunned him momentarily “There's something on your mind.” it was a statement the left no room for debate “Wanna talk about it?”
The mere sincerity and care in your words were too much to believe in this entirely unprecedented event, and so it was no surprise when the words got stuck in his throat and his mind went entirely bank. Despite the lump that was stuck in his throat, despite how hard it was to swallow it over, the words in the very end formed before he could even comprehend it. And they were some of the most honest ones he'd spoke in a long time “Do I?” he questioned, mostly himself without any expectations for an answer “Funny...”
“What's funny about it?” naturally, though, you didn't hold back. It was clear that no matter how well you could read him, no matter how he was an open book to you, you wanted to know more of him. But which him was the real question.
Michael couldn't even remember when it was the last time that someone cared to know about him. Him, and not whoever had granted him access to wear around. Him, and not whatever face he had. Him, and how he felt. Him, and how he he thought. Him, and why he had done everything he did, what had led him to it and how he felt about it. It was a scary thought and feeling. Scary to hope there could be someone that would look past all of those layers, all that the eyes could see, and try to understand him. Scary that he wanted it, even more. Scary that after all this time, at the most tumultuous time and as he was in the right path to his goals, he felt the need for something so deep. Scary that it could lead him away from said path.
Who was even that reckless to try any of it though? Who could so carelessly approach him and-
“Nothing.” the question answered itself “It's just amusing how... strange it sounds to hear someone ask me if I wanna talk about what troubles me, after all this time. But-” he said as fast as he could, the second he saw you frown in worry “We have plenty of time to talk about that and I promise we will. Later. For now-” he grinned, leaning back in his seat “Seeing an angel's true form huh? That's quiet reckless, you know. If not stupid and careless...”
“Yeah, I know, I was just throwing out the idea that I might-”
“But also fun.” he added before you could get to complete your sentence, enjoying the way that after your frown a smile light up your face once he added with a smirk “Want any help with that?”
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wholesomemendes · 3 years
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Omg congrats on 1k🥳🥳 concept- a blurb about love languages and like ur guys styles are diff lil angst pls heheheh
Author's Note: Hiiiiiii. How are you lovies? I know you probably all hate me cause I just disappeared but hopefully this will kinda make up for it for those of you who are actually still here. Fun fact never used the queue before so we'll see how that goes. Also I vaguely remember the read more thing not working that well with asks, but I don't remember what I used to do to fix that so hopefully this works. Love all of you and miss you *mwah* please interact with me so I get more motivation lol
The second the door shuts to the condo you share with your love, you can already hear his unmistakable voice call out for you, “Baby, come here! I have a surprise for you!” You roll your eyes, knowing that some insanely expensive gift was probably waiting for you around that corner. Shawn wasn’t the type to randomly spend a large portion of his money on things he didn’t need, but when it came to you, there was no limit to his spending. Anytime he saw something that reminded him of you or that he thought you’d look stunning in, he couldn’t stop himself from swiping his card. It wasn’t like you didn’t appreciate the copious amount of gifts he gave you; you knew he meant well and that one of his love languages was giving gifts. However, as someone who was raised to be independent and not accept “handouts” from anyone, you found it hard to be constantly given things you didn’t work for and you didn’t believe you deserved yet. You didn’t find it fair that you weren’t at that stage in your life where you could gift Shawn something as expensive as what he gives you, but you constantly get those things from him. It wouldn’t have phased you as much if it was just for holidays, but this was an almost every other day occurrence and no matter how many times you told him not to buy things for you, he never seemed to listen.
You sighed, putting your purse on the table and making your way towards the bedroom, desperately wishing you could just relax into a warm bath after your hard day at work instead of facing whatever your loving boyfriend had in store for you. Opening the door you were met with Shawn’s smiling face, a large box with the word Gucci written in bold lettering across it. You put on a fake smile as your heart sank. This couldn’t be what you thought it was could it? “Hey,” he put the box next to him in favor of pulling you onto his lap, “How was work today?” He pressed a sweet kiss to your lips and for a moment, you let yourself get pulled into the utter bliss that was Shawn Mendes.
“I won’t lie, not the greatest,” you sighed as you rested your head on his shoulder.
“Why, what happened?” he asked, his arm tightening around you to pull you closer.
“It was just insane today and my boss was in a bad mood and...I don’t know it was just bad and I’m exhausted.”
“Well, I think I have something that might cheer you up!”
“Shawn…,” you said in a mix of a whine and a stern tone, “I told you no more.”
“I know, I know,” he rushed out, placing the box in your hands, “I just want to spoil my girl. I can afford to do so and there’s no one else that deserves it more than you do.” It hurt your heart to hear him talk like that when not a single part of you felt you deserved it. You were nowhere close to where you wanted to be in your life career wise and you certainly weren’t near Shawn’s level of success. “Just open it, please?” he gave you his softest puppy dog eyes that always made you cave.
“Ok…” Opening up the box your heart stopped. There lying in the delicate paper was one of the most beautiful handbags you had ever seen; the one you had secretly been saving up for for almost a year now. You thought you had hid it from him so well, always looking at it when he wasn’t there to make sure you could still get it, and even putting together a small envelope of extra money to use towards it. This was supposed to be your first big designer purchase in honor of your huge promotion at work a little under a year ago today, but of course Shawn had to go and ruin it all for you.
Meanwhile, Shawn was oblivious to the disappointment and resentment brewing inside of you. “Do you like it?” he asked with the biggest smile, “I noticed the tab open on your computer last week when I borrowed it for those pictures and thought you liked it!”
“Why would you do this?” you whispered, a crack forming in your voice.
“What?”
“Why would you do this?” you almost snapped at him, looking at him with tears that held mixed emotions.
“B- because I love you,” he stammered, not having prepared to have this reaction. In his head you were going to come home, see the gift, smother him in thank you kisses, and maybe, just maybe, you would make love to him for the rest of the night. Never in his wildest dreams did it end up like this.
“If you loved me you would have listened to me and not bought this, or anything for that matter!” you exclaimed as you stood up off his lap, “I’ve told you so many times I don’t want you buying anything for me but you never listen!”
“I- I’m sorry, I just thought…”
“No that’s the thing, you didn’t think! I just- god, Shawn, this was it, the one thing I was going to do for myself after all these years. I was only $100 away from my goal, I was right there! But you can’t just think with your head for one second and think about how your girlfriend who always tells you that you don’t need to buy things for her might be planning on finally achieving one of her goals of having enough money to spend it on something like this!”
If your eyes weren’t filled with tears and you weren’t so blinded by your emotions you might have been able to see Shawn’s heart visibly breaking on the bed, leaving him looking like a hurt puppy. “I’m so sorry, I’ll do anything to make it up to you. I’ll, I’ll return the bag or or you can pay me back for it so it’s like you bought it yourself!”
“You don’t understand because you’ve never had any problems with money. It’s not the same anymore, Shawn. No matter what, all I’ll be reminded of is that you bought it first and not me.”
“What can I do? I, I swear I’ll do anything,” his voice cracked as his own tears filled his eyes.
“I don’t, I don’t know. I need to go.” You knew you were being dramatic, but after 2 years of the same thing with Shawn over and over again you had reached your breaking point.
“No please, I’ll fix this I promise,” he pleaded, standing up to face you.
You successfully avoided him so you could grab a small bag with your things, “Shawn, I need space for at least one night.”
He reached out for you this time, his large hand grabbing your arm desperately to turn you around, “Please, don’t go. I won’t buy you anything else, I swear!”
“It’s not that I just, I don’t know. I’m upset and I’m tired and my head is all over the place and…” His large hands cupped your jaw and pressed his lips hard against yours, giving you no space to pull away. The slight taste of salt from both of your tears on your lips broke your heart more than it was before. It was hard to explain why you weren’t fighting him on this kiss; it was almost as if he was kissing you so that it was easier to let you go for the night.
His lips released yours reluctantly with a sigh, “I’ll pack my things for the night. You stay here.”
“Shawn…”
“No, I was the one who messed up so I should be the one who has to leave. I still have a backpack I never unpacked from when I got back from LA last week and I can stay with my parents for however long you want. I- ,” he looked down shamefully, his hands finally dropping from your face. “I’m sorry. I just wanted to make you happy, but I wasn’t even thinking of what would really make you happy. Just, just tell me when you’re ready for me to come back home.”
He made his way through the bedroom, grabbing his phone, wallet, backpack and guitar before making his way through the door. Your heart cried out to go after your love, but your feet stayed planted almost in shock of everything that just happened. You were still mad at him, upset with him, and if it was possible, even more upset and mad at yourself. So as much as you wanted to run after him, you let him walk away with half your heart in his hands.
____________________________
“Mom?” you sniffled as you sat on the edge of your bed, the infamous handbag discarded next to you as if it was taunting you.
“Oh honey, what’s wrong?” the soft voice of your mother filled the speaker.
“I messed up,” you confessed, “I really messed up and I don’t...I don’t…”
“Take a deep breath, dear, and tell me what happened. I’m sure it can be fixed.”
“I don’t know if it can. I’m a horrible person!”
“You are not a horrible person. Now tell me exactly what happened.”
She listed carefully as a mother does while you went through moment through moment of your lash out with Shawn, up until the point where he left. “I feel terrible, Mom. This was just the one thing I had planned to do for myself and he never took into account how I would feel about this even though I constantly tell him how I feel about gift giving.”
“Sweetheart, I know you so badly want to be an independent woman and there’s nothing wrong with that. But you’re in a relationship now which means not everything you do can be independent. Think about it from his point of view: all of these things he gets you he gets out of love. He doesn’t do it because he wants you to rely on him for money, he knows you’re not with him for that and it’s probably one of the reasons he loves you so much; you treat him like a regular person. Not someone who is just a pretty face that can buy you whatever you want and get you fame. However, he is someone with money and that means he can afford these things for you. It’s not to belittle any of your accomplishments in your career or financially because we both know how supportive he is of you. It’s simply because he wants to show you he’s thinking about you and spoil you to make you happy. I know gifts aren’t one of your main love languages, but it’s definitely one of his. I bet if you had told him about this bag and how much it meant to you instead of hiding it from him, he would have never dreamed of taking it away from you. I understand your immediate frustration, but maybe think about if you’re truly upset with him about this or if you’re upset with yourself for not being able to reciprocate.”
“You’re right, Mom.”
“Of course I’m right, I’m your mother!” she let out a light hearted laugh, “But seriously, go apologize to that boy. He’s probably beating himself up over this.”
____________________________
“Are you and Dad home right now?”
“Yes, why is something wrong?”
“Can’t I just be coming over to say hello?”
“Of course you can, but I can tell by your voice that something is wrong.”
A sad smile formed on his face at the fact that even over a car speaker, his mom was still able to read him like a book. “Y/n and I got into a fight.”
“Oh no,” his mother gasped, never hearing many difficulties between the two, “What happened?”
“It’s my fault, Mom, I was being selfish,” he replied defeated, his guilty heart weighing down on him, “You know how I love to give gifts right? Well, Y/n isn’t always the biggest fan of it because she loves being independent. But I can’t help it! She’s the first person who hasn’t been overjoyed over every gift I give her and I never understand because I just want her to be happy and I know they’re things she would like so...I just don’t think! I don’t know why I can’t take a hint and just do what she wants me to do! I just want to make her happy, Mom, and feel loved and all I’ve done is annoy her and upset her!”
“Ok, before you keep going on this self-deprecated spiral, I need you to tell me what happened. And no more blaming yourself until I’ve heard everything.” So he did. And just like the conversation unfolding back at his home, his own mother listened to every word he had to say.
“From my understanding,” she began, “And I’m not saying this to try to defend you, but it sounds like she is battling some problems of her own.”
“No, you don’t understand, I wasn’t listening to her…”
“Oh will you hush! I wasn’t finished. Could you lay off the gifts and make them every once in a while? Of course. However, I believe her outburst today had something to do with some financial conflicts she is facing and maybe just an overall bad mood. You’re not perfect, obviously you need to tone down the gifts just a little bit, but you were definitely not in the full wrong here. There was no way she could have expected you to know about her intentions and plans so you can’t blame that on yourself. She definitely felt that she had to hide it from you in fear that you wouldn’t listen, which might be another issue if she believes that you aren’t willing to budge on your point of view. But you should not go beating yourself up over this! She’ll come around to her senses and you two will be fine.”
“Thank you, Mom. I hope so, I miss her already,” Shawn pouted, wishing so desperately that he was driving back home instead of away from it.
“Of course. Now I’ll make sure your room is all ready for whenever you get here and I’ll stay up to give you a big hug. How does that sound?”
“Amazing, I’ll be there in…” the sight of your name popping up on his center console broke him from his thoughts, “Wait, Mom, she’s calling me. I’ll call you back.”
“Good luck honey!”
With shaky hands, he hit answer on the phone, “Shawn?”
Even just hearing his name out of your mouth brought him comfort, “Yes? Are you ok? Did something happen?”
“No, I’m fine. I mean I’m not fine, but physically I’m fine. Anyways, I’m going to ramble so I’ll just try to say this quick before I stray too far away from what I was going to say and before I get myself even more worked up again because who knows how long…”
“Y/n,” he stopped you, knowing you would ramble on forever, “Why did you call me?”
“Please come home.” His heart nearly lept out of his chest at your words, not needing to hear anymore. “I’m so sorry, Shawn. I should never have lashed out at you and…”
“Don’t say anything else. I don’t want to do this over the phone. I love you, please don’t apologize and I’ll be home in half an hour.”
“But, Shawn…”
“I love you and I’ll see you soon.” With that he hung up the phone and sped his way back through the Toronto streets to the girl he loved most.
____________________________
The second you heard the door open you ran to launch your body into his arms, abandoning your previous post of walking holes in the floor. He gladly accepted you against him, holding you tight in his arms. “I’m so sorry,” you pleaded, new tears rimming at your eyes, “Please forgive me.”
“Shushh, we both can apologize in a second. I just want to hold you.” Shawn maneuvered the two of you back onto your bed with you in his lap, still clinging onto him for dear life. He felt your tears wetting his shirt and while it broke his heart to know you were
hurting, he hoped that being close to you for these few more moments would show that he wasn’t mad at you. After a couple minutes passed, he loosened his grasp on you, “Y/n look at me.” You did as told, revealing your tearful eyes to him. “I’m not mad at you,” he promised as he wiped your tears away, “I’m not upset with you in any way. I forgive you for whatever you feel you need to be forgiven for and I hope you can say the same with me.”
“No, you have nothing to apologize for!” you protested, “You did nothing but try to show me love and make me happy and I’m so sorry I couldn’t look past my own selfish issues. Talking with my mom made me realize that the reason I have always been so apprehensive to receiving your gifts is because I’m not at the point in my career that I thought I would be and I'm letting out my resentment at myself on you. I know how wrong that is of me and I am so sorry for it. There’s nothing wrong with you expressing your love through gifts and I can’t express how sorry I am for making you believe that you were the issue.”
“I forgive you. And I’m sorry, too. I should have talked with you about this and taken into account how you didn’t respond the same way as my friends and family when I give them things and should have taken a step back. I realize my gifts are excessive and I will work to tone them back so they are more special. I love you, Y/n. Even being away from you for an hour after a fight was too much for me to bear.”
“I love you, too. I hated being away from you more than anything.” He kissed your lips passionately, transferring every emotion he had for you into that kiss. Hands caressed your body as yours held him tighter in fear of him disappearing and neither of you wanted to relive this night ever again. “Shawn?” you whispered against his lips, receiving a hum in response, “Thank you for the bag. I can’t wait to tell everyone how my loving and thoughtful boyfriend got it for me.”
“You don’t have to, I can return it.”
“Return it? This is my dream bag and the fact that you wanted to get it for me because you could tell I wanted it means a lot even though I had the absolute worst way of showing it.”
“Stop,” he kissed you again, “I don’t want you to worry about it any longer. Let me just love on you how I had planned tonight.” And while it might not have been the way Shawn had planned the night to go, he was ending it exactly how he wanted to.
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yannowhatigiveup · 3 years
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My One And Only - Chapter 8
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So this chapter is longer than the previous one and hOpefuLly my writing will get better with each new chapter. One can only hope. And I’m updating this daily cuz I wanna be caught up with all of my chapters so I don’t forget to post one by accident. But the daily updates will unfortunately stop after chapter 13, I guess. For now, enjoy! *totally not debating if I should post chapter 9* also Gabriel, no
Uncle Jagged: Nettie! I got everything ready. Wanna record a bonus track for my new album?
'Oh god'
—————————————————————
Marinette kept rereading the message to make sure she had read it correctly. The message never changed. "Oh Tikki what if my voice sounds horrible? Uncle Jagged will be disappointed and then he won't have me as his designer anymore! He'll probably tell everything to everyone, to Gabriel Agreste, Clara, Chloe's mother and to the whole public!"
"Calm down Marinette!" Tikki flew out the bag and hugged the bluenette's face. "I'm sure you'll do just fine!"
"Thanks Tikki" Marinette said hesitantly. She then approached the hotel doors and towards the elevators. She had felt the gaze of the receptionists and one of them had got up with the intention to talk to her, only to be dragged back down by the fellow receptionist, the one who Marinette talked to yesterday. The bluenette had taken full notice of this but chose to ignore it. She then reached Damian's hotel room and knocked on the door. She heard something metallic drop on the floor followed by a slightly muffled word. Marinette knew exactly what he said but she was confused. She then heard the same voice again though much clearer this time.
"You can come in, the door is unlocked"
~~~
Damian had just finished showering, he was half dressed when he got a message from 'Angel'. He had changed used this nickname as her contact name.
Angel: I got an hour and half till my meeting with Uncle J, you want me to come over?
Damian smiled. Honestly, if he could he would give all his time to her.
Me: Sure, come over whenever you want I don't mind
He was about to put his shirt on when he got an urge to practice with his katana, which he did. He made a mental note about getting dressed soon and he went to the case which his katana was located. He then practiced different stances as well as practicing different motions with the blade. He thought of the bluenette. When he first met her, she struck him as someone defenseless and vulnerable. But he now had the feeling she could take down someone twice her size. Though, that didn't stop him from feeling obligated to protect her. He had become so focused that when someone knocked he tensed. Not that much but enough to loose grip of his katana. The blade sunk into his skin and left quite a deep cut on his upper arm and on the right side of his chest, causing him to drop his katana.
"Scheiße!" He didn't react to the pain, it was the thought of Marinette walking in on this situation. 'Since when do I know German?' "You can come in, the door is unlocked" 'Damn it that's not what I meant!'
Marinette opened the unlocked door to see a shirtless Damian. She probably would've metaphorically died at that point if she didn't take notice to the whole situation. Not only was he shirtless, he was bleeding. 'How did-' she noticed the katana. 'Oh, makes sense now'. The bluenette then sprinted into action. She closed the door behind her, put her bag down quickly but still being mindful of Tikki and turned her attention to the now flustered Damian. She grabbed the arm that wasn't cut and carefully dragged him onto the sofa, she also looked at the katana on her way there while taking some mental notes. 'Looks clean, no rust or scratches that could contain bacteria and seems so have been cleaned thoroughly before use. Great! That makes my job easier'.
"What are you-"
"Hush Shaytan" Marinette interrupted while going to the bathroom, searching for one of those medkits. "Let me take care of you" she said while getting one of the disinfectants in the kit. Marinette then carefully rubbed the liquid into his wounds.
"It stings" he grumbled.
"Awww don't worry little Dami, it will stop stinging soon" Marinette said lightheartedly, as if she was comforting Manon.
"Tt I am not five" he grumbled again. He shifted his body so that Marinette could properly bandage his chest and right arm. After she was done, he flexed his arm. 'She did extremely well' "Thank you, Angel. You really are a life saver". He subconsciously smirked when he saw her face turn a shade of pink.
"Thanks, did I bandage it correctly? I hope I did, oh no what happens if it doesn't heal correctly? What happens if-" she suddenly stopped as Damian had pulled her in close to his chest.
"Honestly you did perfectly Habibti, there's no need to worry" he stroked his fingers through her deep blue hair as a way to calm her down further, but he himself enjoyed it. He knew how Marinette would always think that she's the one at fault and he came up with a way to calm her down. From the looks of it, it was working.
Marinette blushed when Damian had pulled her into his chest, even more so when she felt his fingers brush through her hair. It felt like it had genuine emotion with it, not only just to make her feel better. She took advantage of being close to his chest, his wounds, and used her powers outside the mask to let the wound heal faster. Now knowing that it would heal soon, she enjoyed his embrace, burying herself further into his muscular body. The she remembered something. "So what are we gonna do about your spilt blood?"
"You say that like I deal with this often" he said with a smug looking face. Marinette then had a 'I know you do' face. He jokingly sighed. "I shall clean it and before you object, I feel fine enough to do a simple task such as this." Her giggling brought a smile to his face. "Also have you worked out what Jagged Stone has in mind for you?"
"I'll tell you that after you tell me how you know German" Marinette shifted so that he could get up. "If I recall, you told me that you were fluent in French, Arabic, English and Spanish and that you were learning Japanese. I don't remember German ever coming up" she said in a jokingly serious tone.
"Actually I'm fluent in Japanese now" Damian murmured while getting something from one of his cases, 'Something to clean the blood I suppose' "I was taught an easy way to learn languages, I might have crossed German once before but if so I just forgot about it. Also, how do you know German?"
"Well if you have any interest in learning a new language you'd want to know the swear words, am I right?" She giggled.
"Fair point" he chuckled while allowing his blood to soap into something he brought, a tissue or towel perhaps. "Now, do you know what Jagged Stone's surprise is for you?"
"Yeah, he wants me to record a bonus track for his album"
Damian paused just as he had finished disinfecting his katana. "Wow, that's great Angel!"
"Yes I'm very grateful to Uncle Jagged for organizing all this but what if I sound horrible? I do want to do it for him really, I don't want to turn the offer down but I-"
"Angel, there is no need to worry. If you're not comfortable with it you can tell Jagged, he'll understand. But I'm sure you have a beautiful voice"
"You really think so?" Marinette murmured. Damian nodded. She gave him a thank you smile before saying, "So, what's this quick way of learning a language? I've got 30 minutes"
Damian chuckled. "Well the first thing you would want to know is..."
~~~
'Marinette Dupain-Cheng, the only one in class whose been able to stop herself from getting akumatized. She must be very strong, physically and mentally. My point was proven when she became Multimouse, wearing nearly every miraculous that I've ever heard or come across. Ladybug must trust her greatly. I must find a way to akumatize her'
Gabriel Agreste stood in his observatory after recently detransforming. 'She can control her emotions well but when she's angry, it's incredibly strong. This girl could be one of the strongest in Paris, she could be one that senses auras. I must find a way. I will use her to eliminate all of heroes. All I need is time'.
———
Taglist: @little-bluestar, @miracleofadisaster, @frieddonutsweets, @jjmjjktth, @genderfluidmoma, @starlit-dreaming (ur the one who wanted to get tagged right? I’m so sorry I forget to write your name down so I’m not sure-), @icerosecrystal
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thethirdamell · 3 years
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hello! i've recently binge-read ur fic in like two weeks, which is crazy. 900k words and i somehow still managed to show up for work! i'm very much in love with it holly crap. i hope it's ok to ask some things tho? i was wondring, other than the obvious, is there any reason in praticular you chose for anders to keep what happened to him from amell? is it to give their relationship a change to grow naturally rather than just for amell to fix him? or am i reading into this lol. i'm so curious! ty!
Hello!
Thank you for reading! I’m glad you made it to work! (Two weeks? Wild!)
It is always fine to ask things. I love questions and talking about Accursed Ones. I’ve been working on this monstrosity for six years so I am a bit wrapped up in it. 
Realism
The majority of abuse survivors do not actually report their abuse for a variety of reasons. Fear, shame, not wanting their family and friends to know, not feeling that their abuse is important enough to report, feeling the abuse is too personal to disclose, feeling there’s no proof of the abuse, that the abuse wasn’t serious enough to report, that the abuse wasn’t really abuse at all, and overall fear of the person abusing them. 
In addition to all of the aforementioned reasons, recovery from abuse can take anywhere from days, to weeks, to months, to years depending upon the person. Even without considering the gaslighting, abuse survivors tend to have some fairly common responses, like PTSD, self-blame, isolation, anxiety, sexual concerns, etc. 
Working off of this, Anders speaks very little of his abuse in the Circle and what he suffered there beyond mentioning that he was in solitary for a year to the Warden Commander. When speaking with Hawke, he speaks in broad, but impersonal terms, and I suppose it could be argued that’s Justice influence, but I would argue it’s also a realistic response of an abuse survivor.
Sometimes it’s easier to tell some people, and not others. Some times you want to tell some people, and not others. Arguably, there’s no reason any abuse survivor should feel obligated to disclose their abuse in any detail to anyone. 
Narrative 
In the context of Accursed Ones, given that it follows Anders’ perspective, this particular arc is something of an abuse survivor story. While I love dark themes, I also want to make sure those dark themes are appropriately identified as being dark, and that they aren’t excused in the context of the narrative. Similarly, I want the positive aspects to be appropriately identified as being positive.
I do not believe an abuse survivor story should come with the caveat that the survivor must share that abuse to anyone for any reason. Sometimes someone already knows because they witnessed it (Fenris), sometimes telling someone is helpful (Nathaniel), sometimes you get outted and don’t have a choice (Franke), and sometimes it’s just not necessary (Amell). 
Amell is a little bit complicated because Anders’ behavior towards him was primarily - but not completely - a result of the situation he was in at the time. Anders is self-absorbed in a lot of aspects of his life (in AO and arguably in canon), and the major tension for their relationship came about as a result of Anders being so wrapped up in himself he didn’t consider Amell’s feelings... probably ever. 
That has nothing to do with Hawke, so there’s really no reason for Anders to address his trauma with Hawke to be forgiven by Amell. Amell also contributed to the problem with how much he allowed Anders and his general refusal to establish boundaries for himself. That said, the message isn’t that Anders needs to provide an excuse or even an apology to be forgiven, it’s just that he needs to change the behavior.
Relationship
From the context of the relationship it’s more important that they learn how to communicate as equals than it is for Anders to revisit trauma he fears would change Amell’s perspective of him. If Anders opened with his behavior being a result of trauma, Amell would have buried any of his own feelings, and had no character growth in learning to express his own needs. It also would have put a lot of strain and doubt on the relationship as to whether or not any emotions were genuine or simply born of sympathy on Amell’s part and escapism on Anders’.
The two of them are supposed to have each other on pedestals, and while that may never change, it’s important they be able to recognize there are people under the pedestals. If Amell came in and rescued/saved Anders from Hawke, the chance of Anders ever seeing him as a normal human being more or less goes out the window. I also wanted Anders to recognize that he can exist independent of Amell/anyone and be his own hero if the situation calls for it. 
All that said, I don’t think it’s much of a spoiler to say that at this point given Anders’ behavior Amell is aware he went through some form of sexual assault/abuse just given the way Anders has been acting and being a survivor himself. Finding out in bits and pieces as time goes on and little things are shared as the two grow more comfortable with each other is, hopefully, a more realistic and satisfying way to address it.
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morons united group chat with @diabolicaltendencies @epiitaphs @theasteriae
ALEX SMS [ trash pile ] : whos hosting this weekend? Bagsy not me, only just got the window fixed from when Bash tried to escape through it. BASH SMS [ do not answer ] : tried? i think you mean succeeded.
SMS [ do not answer ] : anyway, yeah, no, i can't. sorry. ALEX SMS [ trash pile ] : if you mean you went though a closed window and got covered in glass, sure, you succeeded. BASH SMS [ do not answer ] : you're just bitter because you lost the bet. word to the wise, alex, never ever bet against basher moran ALEX SMS [ trash pile ] : it’s fine, I put the window repairs in your card. BASH SMS [ do not answer ] : that's fine too; "my" card is actually august's card. ALEX SMS [ trash pile ] : should have known going for your wallet was a liability. BASH SMS [ do not answer ] : i mean, probably, yeah. you're fingers are so sticky, i'd have to be stupid to carry my real wallet when i'm meeting up with you. AUGUST sms [ clusterfuck ]: And my card is really the inheritance fund so you might as well do something useful with it, Alex. sms [ clusterfuck ]: I'm out of town until Sunday. But if you need a place to crash I'm sure you'll find your way in.
BASH SMS [ do not answer ] : you could have told me! if i'd known it was dear old dad's money i was spending, i'd have blown the whole lot a long time ago SMS [ do not answer ] : where out of town, exactly?
AUGUST sms [ clusterfuck ]: which is exactly why they wouldn't give it to me all at once. sms [ clusterfuck ]: what? you looking to come along?
BASH SMS [ do not answer ] : killjoys SMS [ do not answer ] : nope, not if you're where i think you are. just seeing if you'll tell me the truth.
ALEX SMS [ trash pile ] : dammmmmn well seeing as I’ve had to put up with you shitheads for so many years I’m glad your daddy’s finally paying up SMS [ trash pile ] : better get me a fridge magnet from wherever you are BASH SMS [ do not answer ] : oh yeah, i heart surrey, just what you've always wanted. not. ALEX SMS [ trash pile ] : at least August gets me stuff rather than BREAKING MY FLAT SMS [ trash pile ] : I have a lot less anger towards your dad now he’s going to pay for my MOT SMS [trash pile] : is this what rich kid life is like?? BASH SMS [ do not answer ] : oh yeah? why don't you get august to bring you daddy's ashes back as well then, so you can bow and scrape before the urn, really say thank you? AUGUST sms [ clusterfuck ]: I'd happily tell you but you could just as easily ask your boss. Your passive aggressive shit must be rubbing off on him. sms [ clusterfuck ]: but seriously, by all means, spend away. BASH SMS [ do not answer ] : alright, well, i  guess saturday night's on me after all then SMS [ do not answer ] : jim asked you to work? why did he ask you and not me? AUGUST sms [ clusterfuck ]: because he actually gives a damn about you and I'm still expendable, apparently.
sms [ clusterfuck ]: Don't have a fridge magnet, Alex, but I got a pretty nice knife off the bitch who tried to stab me with it. ALEX SMS [trash pile] : bash calm down, it’s probably better not to be mr. Narcissistic fucks favours? SMS [ trash pile] : JUST CHECKING but was this bitch very short and in a blonde wig?? AUGUST sms [ clusterfuck ]: No...? ALEX SMS [ trash pile ] : okay that makes me feel a whole lot better SMS [ trash pile ] : shall we do another weekend if August can’t make it?? We need someone with more than one brain cell. AUGUST sms [ clusterfuck ]: Yeah, no. It was a man with a death wish. You'd know if you tried to stab one of us... right? ALEX SMS [ trash pile ] : I mean you’d really hope so but it’s not unheard of SMS [ trash pile ] : I stab a lot of people AUGUST sms [ clusterfuck ]: Fair enough. ALEX SMS [ trash pile ] : if you’re not in Berlin right now you’re probably safe SMS [ trash pile ] : probably AUGUST sms [ clusterfuck ]: Just stick to the plan. I'll be there Sunday to pick you all up off the floor. sms [ clusterfuck ]: Or bail you out. ALEX SMS [ trash pile ] : I’ve got brunch with Sam Sunday SMS [ trash pile ] : if we survive AUGUST sms [ clusterfuck ]: You really think you'll make that date? I'd reschedule that if anything. ALEX SMS [ trash pile ] : ITS NOT A DATE BASH SMS [ do not answer ] : yeah, but does sammy know that? ALEX SMS [ trash pile ] : I need coffee and avocado toast to fix the hangover SMS [ trash pile ] : we. are. not. dating. BASH SMS [ do not answer ] : yeah, but, again ... does he know that? AUGUST sms [ clusterfuck ]: I have coffee and a toaster. Just tell Sam to bring your avocado and something for the rest of us. We can interrogate him then. BASH SMS [ do not answer ] : shall i ask jim if he still has those thumbscrews lying around? i mean, it's better to do these things thoroughly, wouldn't you say? ALEX SMS [ trash pile ] : I wish I had stabbed you AUGUST sms [ clusterfuck ]: I was just thinking about questioning him. But you know, now that you mention it. How well do you think he'd hold up? Hypothetically. ALEX SMS [ Trash pile ] : this is a conversation we are not having AUGUST SMS [ do not answer ] : yeah, it's pointless -- so much easier just to find out for real ALEX SMS [ trash pile ] : if we were dating, which we very much aren’t, why would you need to interrogate him? It’s SAM SMS [ trash pile ] : he’s stitched you ALL up BASH SMS [ do not answer ] : yeah, but are you not dating in the way jim and i aren't dating, or are you not dating in the way that august isn't dating anyone at all? AUGUST sms [ clusterfuck ]: A fair question. BASH SMS [ do not answer ] : fair point. you know, though, sammy's pretty steely. i think he could go at least a couple of rounds. AUGUST sms [ clusterfuck ]: With his background I'm honestly just curious if he can take it as well as he dished it out. SEB sms [block]: oh are we talking about torturing sam? im down sms [block]:  im with august think itd be interesting BASH SMS [ do not answer ] : yes, aha, 3 against 1, alex, sorry -- you've been outvoted! ALEX SMS [trash pile] : trust you to show up when we discuss torture SEB sms [block]: i only have time for important things ALEX SMS [trash pile] : anyone lays a hand on my not boyfriend and I will break bones SEB sms [block]: hah you said the word boyfriend BASH SMS [ do not answer ] : methinks the lady doth protest too much SMS [ do not answer ] : just kidding, alex isn't a lady SEB sms [block]: she could barely pretend to be ALEX SMS [trash pile] : IM NOT A LADY FUCKING TAKE THAT BACK SMS [trash pile] : listen just cause I’m the only one who hangs around with people who aren’t psychotic murderers SMS [trash pile] : speaking of, how is jimbo? SEB sms [block]: lady moran. weird ring to it. ALEX SMS [trash pile] : yh bash ur mum is WEIRD SEB sms [block]: really shouldve seen that response coming sms [block]: anyway alex you cant break all our bones at once so really just be ready for ur boy to disappear for a while BASH SMS [ do not answer ] : don't talk shit about my mother SEB sms [block]: dont take it personally, petya has some mommy issues BASH SMS [ do not answer ] : unless you want to get into all your mummy issues, you two? SMS [ do not answer ] : precisely, back the fuck off SEB sms [block]: or what BASH SMS [ do not answer ] : or i will show you why it is my nickname isn't seb, but basher SMS [ do not answer ] : got that? SEB sms [block]: loud and clear sms [block]: still, you'd better pick on alex first, since shes more ur size BASH SMS [ do not answer ] : fuck you SMS [ do not answer ] : i could take you down any day of the week and you know it SEB sms [block]: sounds like a challenge to me BASH SMS [ do not answer ] : bring it then SMS [ do not answer ] : i dare you SEB sms [block]: see u this weekend then sms [block]: keep an eye out BASH SMS [ do not answer ] : i've beaten bigger men than you blindfolded SMS [ do not answer ] : so i think i'm good to sleep, thanks SEB sms [block]: if you say so BASH SMS [ do not answer ] : i could take you and alex on and once and still come out without a scratch on me SEB sms [block]: well now thats just bragging sms [block]: but this is 1 on 1 you can fight alex another time BASH SMS [ do not answer ] : gladly, mate ALEX Alex Moran has left the chat SEB sms [block]: oh perfect we can plan the torture without worrying she'll tattle to sam AUGUST Sms [ clusterfuck ]: Oh hey Seb. How's it going? SEB sms [block]: just another day of making sure my sister doesn't murder me AUGUST Sms [ clusterfuck ]: I see you two ran Alex off again..  yep pretty much what I was about to guess. SEB sms [block]: these things happen when we're left unsupervised AUGUST Sms [ clusterfuck ]: Understandable. Unfortunately we should probably keep Sam in one piece if you're out picking fights. BASH SMS [ do not answer ] : it's a shame, but ... he kind of has a point, you know SEB sms [block]: it really is sms [block]: as much as i also hate to agree sms [block]: and i dont think sticking him in a basement overnight is going to do much BASH SMS [ do not answer ] : we could always try the interrogation tactics they taught us in the army? SEB sms [block]: well. thatd probably be logical BASH SMS [ do not answer ] : that way he'd be physically fine afterwards, hopefully mentally competent enough to patch you back up as well SEB sms [block]: ur so smug about assuming there wont be one single mark on you sms [block]: but as long as he can hold a needle and use it properly then yeah should be alright BASH SMS [ do not answer ] : ah no, i'm not that arrogant, i just know i can cope with a couple of cuts and bruises SMS [ do not answer ] : i know i'll have had worse SEB sms [block]: fair enough sms [block]: we'll see if you can do enough damage to actually make me get stitches or whatever BASH SMS [ do not answer ] : if you end up needing stitches, i'll buy the first round SMS [ do not answer ] : fair's fair, yeah? SEB sms [block]: yeah thats fair BASH SMS [ do not answer ] : excellent, well then, i'll see you saturday SEB sms [block]: sounds good. ill be ready
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Soulmate! Haechan pt. 1
Word count: 1.2k
Genre: idk man this might be kinda angsty but idk
A/n: I had a hard time writing this and idrk why but I am going to try to break it up into parts because I feel like I’m taking forever :D
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
You hadn’t always possessed a deep hatred for the soulmate system. At first, the idea sounded cute. Throughout your puberty years your eyes would change to be your soulmates favorite color, their first words to you would appear on your body, you could communicate through thought, and even more. But you see, your eyes have always been the same washed out blue-grey. And you thought that you just didn’t have a soulmate. But when you were 15 two words appeared on your wrist that ruined the rest of your life. “Shit sorry” shit sorry?! Those would be your soulmates first words to you?! And you have to be permanently marked with them on a visible part of your body?!
So first, it seemed like you didn’t have a soulmate because of your dumb eyes, then you get a stupid tattoo, and you still can’t even contact them! You’re the only 17 year old you know who still cant contact their soulmate in their head. But that’s just your everyday life sis. And aside from all of that, you are a very unlucky person. It’s so bad people tell you that you have a 50/50/90 principle, meaning that if you have a 50/50 chance you’ll get it wrong 90% of the time oof. My family calls that our way of life
Anyway, you never knew what it would finally be like if you met your soulmate. If they’re eyes would be so beautiful or if it would be complete and utter love at first sight. How were you supposed to know? You didn’t even know what his voice sounded like.
One day, just like normal, you were getting your lunch when some dumb boy from your school starts tossing around his food like it’s a football. You were annoyed to say the least, but also worried that you would get hit. You always get hit. As you turn around to head in the other direction, avoiding the flying milk cartons, a frickin hotdog hits you in the back of the head. It didn’t really knock you over per se but it frightened you so much that you fell down, subsequently dropping your lunch as well.
“Shit sorry.” the boy said nonchalantly offering you a hand up. Immediately recognizing that phrase, you refuse his hand. As you get up, you make eye contact for like .02 secs, but it was long enough to see his deep purple eyes if you dont like purple just pick another color or just suffer.
You didn’t know how to react, so you just ran. You ran right out of the school and most of the way to your house. You only stopped at a nearby park and sat on the swings. Was that? It couldn’t be. I probably don’t even have a real soulmate. He probably didn’t notice anything special. I don’t even know this boy. You were so immersed in your thoughts that you didn’t notice footsteps behind you. “Y/n?” Jisung asked.
“Jisungie! What are you doing here? Wait! You should be in school! ᕕ(˵•̀෴•́˵)ᕗ” “I could say the same to you. Anyways, I saw that hotdog hit you. It was pretty funny, actually. But,, why did you run away like that?” Jisung was your best friend, your platonic soulmate one might say. He already knew everything about your issues. “You know how my soulmate’s first words to me are ‘shit sorry?’ Well that’s what the boy who threw the freaking hotdog at me said when I fell…” you trailed off. Your friend’s eyes are about to pop out of his head. “…and his eyes,” you continued, “were very-” “don’t tell me they were that dumb purpley color you like!” “I can’t. They were.” Now Jisung looks like he might actually die. “Why in the world did you fucking run out of there then? Go get yo mans!” “One, watch your mouth, child, and two, I don’t know I’m kinda scared. What if I’m wrong? If hes not actually my soulmate? What if I make a fool of myself? Or more a fool of myself than I already have” you look down to your hands folded in your lap.
Jisung didn’t push you any more. He understood how you felt since he was under similar circumstances. His soulmate rejected him, so he cant communicate either. Though he would never admit it, he secretly hoped that you would be rejected too and you both could be together. Jisung knew it was a bad thought, but he couldn’t help himself. Plus, you were always happy with him, would it really be so bad?
~
That night you tried your very best to speak. You thought very very hard just trying to talk to your soulmate. All you were left with was silence. So you decided to text ya boi Jisung.
Me: Hey bro wanna get ice cream?
Beanpole 💕: Y/n, you’re fucking lactose intolerant!!
Me: 1)language and 2)ur point? hi this is me
Beanpole 💕: Meet in 15?
You enter the ice cream shop to see Jisung already testing every, single, flavor, and the worker looks so stressed out with him. You were much easier and just ordered strawberry. After about 10 more minutes, Jisung finally settled on mint chip. You pitied the poor boy that had to serve Jisung.
With that thought on your mind, you paid no attention to the boy who walked into the store. That is until the boy at the counter, Mark, greeted the customer. “Haechan! Wassup bro? What do you want?” Did he say-? Sure enough you turn your head and are met with the beautiful faced boy who hit you with a hotdog earlier in the day. You tried as hard as you could to avoid his gaze.
Suddenly, you heard something in the back of your head. Hmm I like strawberry. But do I wanna venture out and choose another flavor? You thought to yourself that obviously strawberry is the best choice because duh. That’s when the boy turned around with a confused expression. ◐ˍ◑ Being a dumb bitch, you make eye contact with him. Then, it hit you: you just communicated with him. That means he must really be your soulmate. Was that you?
Yeah.
How the fuck- how are we doing this?
Idk man are we maybe soulmates?
But- he begins to speak out loud, “I already have mine…”
Mark and Jisung are completely lost in this situation and tbh they kinda wonder while y'all were just staring at each other like that. You feel your eyes begin to water. ⊙︿⊙ And what for? You dont even really know Haechan. You didn’t even think he was your soulmate. So why are you about to flippin lose it? (个_个) You rush out of the building as fast as you can, your ice cream long forgotten. Jisung soon follows, bringing you the rest of your dessert because he doesn’t want you to feel bad. Mark and Haechan don’t speak about what just happened as Haechan leaves the ice cream shop slouched without another word. If I already have my soulmate, wtf was that?
Part 2 tumblr is acting weird so I cant put in the link but part 2 is UP :D
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tranthuyduong · 3 years
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Okay here comes the truth. 
Gần đây, mình đọc một nghiên cứu về cuộc sống unhealthy của những người cô độc khi không có ai / không có nhiều người ở xung quanh để nhắc nhở họ giữ sức khỏe và đưa ra lựa chọn sáng suốt. Thêm việc xem how i met your mother, the intervention, back ground rules, reminding each other to keep boundaries... mình nhận ra nhiều điều về cuộc sống của mình.
Bắt đầu từ trí. Thực ra không khó để mình “can thiệp” vào cuộc sống trí theo hướng tích cực, ít nhất ở những mặt liên quan trực tiếp đến mình và ngôi nhà 2 ce đang sinh hoạt. Mình thậm chí đã chứng kiến tận mắt chị ngọc, người hoàn toàn xa lạ (trong đánh giá về độ thân thiết với trí), chuẩn bị bữa ăn đơn giản thịnh soạn ấm áp, thành công kéo trí xuống nhà, ăn uống, kể chuyện, cười đùa. Không gượng gạo, không căng thẳng, không đề cập những chủ đề riêng tư khó xử... Ấy là bữa ăn vui vẻ, sáng sủa, đầy đủ nhất 2 đứa mình có với bạn bè. 
Một đứa không có chính kiến riêng, dễ bắt chước và học theo người khác như mình rất dễ để làm như chị ngọc và thay đổi cách ứng xử với Trí. Nhưng điều gì cản trở mình đến thế? Tại sao nhất quyết không làm hộ Trí điều gì, không rủ Trí ăn uống nếu Trí không dọn, không hỏi thăm xem trí đang thế nào? Ở cùng nhà nhưng mình have no clue việc trí ăn gì, ngủ mấy giờ, định làm gì với cuộc đời nó. Cảm giác như thể mình đang trừng phạt, thay vì thực sự cố giữ kỷ luật để giúp đỡ trí.
Một phần mình phải thừa nhận, mình còn chạnh lòng cho những tủi hờn mình chịu đựng hồi nhỏ. Ce sinh đôi, kết nối với nhau 1 cách đặc biệt, tới c2 vẫn quàng vai bá cổ, cọ má và gối lên đùi nhau... 2 đứa cùng trân trọng cái giá trị gia đình mà mẹ dạy, cho đến khi từng người lần lượt phá vỡ nó. 
Trí luôn là đứa trẻ được yêu mến hơn. Do 2 đứa luôn kể nhau nghe mọi chuyện nên mình vẫn cảm thấy được thuộc về và không thực sự có vấn đề gì với việc đấy. Nhưng mình nhớ như in hồi cấp 1, lần đầu mình cảm thấy bị bỏ rơi và phản bội. Hồi đó phổ biến trò vẽ bậy lên bảng phấn rồi nhanh chóng xóa dấu vết khi thầy cô vào. Mình thấy khoái chí và tham gia cùng đám bạn cùng lớp mà mình không thân thiết lắm. Thế rồi “còi báo động” vang, chúng nó lần lượt xóa đi và cùng nhau ra sức ngăn cản mình làm điều tương tự. ��ứa trẻ như mình cảm thấy bất công, tuyệt vọng và end up khóc òa nức nở. Tụi nó quay lại xóa giùm và xin lỗi mình rồi chạy đi gọi trí tới dỗ. Và trí xuất hiện, thong dong ăn gói bim bim, nhìn thẳng vào mình bảo “kệ nó” rồi ngúng nguẩy bỏ đi cùng 2 bạn gái xinh đẹp. Lần đầu tiên mình hiểu, ai cũng có thể quay lưng lại với mình. 
Mình của ngày ấy vẫn cố ghi điểm với mẹ bằng cách sống theo kỳ vọng của mẹ aka nghe theo mọi lời khuyên răn. Yeah I was in charged for trying to live up to her expectations. Thế nên, mỗi khi trí gặp chuyện trên lớp, tụi nó auto gọi mình và mình luôn chạy ngay tới chăm sóc.
Tới c2, những trò đùa nghịch láo nháo của trí ngày càng nhiều và mình không còn tham gia cùng như 1 người đồng hành nữa. Những trò bẫy giáo viên bằng bom thối và trêu trọc làm khó họ.. mà mọi người thường tự hào mỗi khi kể lại, đối với mình của lúc ấy không khác gì những trò ích kỉ ngu ngốc vô kỉ luật mà mình không bao giờ muốn động vào. Thế là bắt đầu 2 cuộc sống riêng. Trí ở ngoài, khám phá thế giới thú vị và sinh động, also a little bit crazy của nó; mình thu lại trong thế giới nhỏ bé an toàn với những người bạn có kỷ luật, also a bit boring của mình. Ấy là khi mình nhận thấy, bạn mình tới nhà thì sẽ trêu đùa trò chuyện cùng Trí. Bạn trí tới nhà thì completely ignored mình và trí không mảy may quan tâm cuộc sống của mình. It has always been that way, he talks non-stop about his messy life and I’m all ears, listening. Never once he asked “how is thing going on in your life?”
C3 thì khác trường. Mình đậu trường điểm thăng long, trí vào nguyện vọng 2, hai bà trưng. Cuộc sống trí dần đi xuống, bắt đầu hút thuốc, đi đêm, uống rượu, nhiều khi về nhà say xỉn nôn ọe. Mình luôn là người dọn dẹp hậu trường. (Ùi không nhớ hồi đó mẹ làm thế nào, ko biết có bắt trí tự dọn; ko biết việc mình dọn có là cản trở mẹ kỷ luật trí giống như bố mẹ đang cản trở mình lúc này.) Tới lúc này mình vẫn tỏ ra chăm chút. Vẫn bỏ bạn lại ở rạp phim chiếu dở để phi về vì cuộc gọi cầu cứu mental breakdown của trí. 
Wow life is rough. I finally told him.
This is quite out of the blue but i have meant to say this for a long time so i just go ahead and send it to u. 
Growing up, I believe in sibling bonding, which mamma has taught us through her magnificent brotherhood stories. I tried to live up to that expectation, also trying to strengthen my own belief by forcing myself to be on your side no matter who u are or what you done. 
I'm in charged for trying to please you even if it means i have to put away my feelings. We all learn from mother's mistake, if you chose the unselfish love, you're always the one to blamed because you did it yourself. Means you can't blame the other for not taking you seriously and treat you the way you wanted. I have no right to blame you for my hurt. And i don't intend to. 
 Sure I did terrible things to you. I hope that i have said sorry sincerely and some how heal up the hurt i created. 
I just want you to know that after all these years, trying nonstop to live up to that belief, I'm pretty much dammaged and the scars don't fade out easily. And this is a kind of way to actually speaking about what i have gone through that involved you, in order to really open up and let it go for the good sake. 
I've never forgot that day in primary school. I was crying over a stupid event that i considerd as a discrimination from out classmates towards me. We were all drawing on the board and trying to clean it when the teacher was coming over. All of the sudden, they gathered together and prenvent me from doing it because i'm not one of the gang. I cried my eyes out feeling rejected, unfair and sad. Watching me burst into tears for a long time, they finally erase the board, told me to stop crying and reached you for help. You standing there, eating your snack, gave me one look and told them to "kệ nó". With 2 other girls, you leave me crying all by myself. You didn't cover me. 
When we got to the secondary school, thing wasn't quite good with me at first. I didn't make friends easily like the way you did. Then comes the time when the class decided to meet at a friend's house to make a present for our teacher. I was hoping to join them and make some friends so I asked if you know where the meeting was. You said no to me as it was a secret deal between the group and leave me hanging around alone at home. Sure it would be awkward for you to ask the gang to let me join but i believed that's what i would do as i had always invited you to those plans I had with my friends. 
And that time when our 2 best friend got together as a couple, while i had crush on one of them. The girl was with me the whole time, watching my feelings towards the boy raised up day by day and lied to me about her new boyfriend. Mostly because she didn't want to hurt me. Still, i was drowning in betrayed feeling and overeacting. You was the one who got on their boat and humiliated me. You guys asked me to come to the end of the lane, made me watch them kissing and laughed out loud when i left with tears filling my face. You turned your back on me. 
That whole 4 years, I had felt like i'm all alone fighting the socialize war because you were too busy having fun in your delightful world. 
Seperated in high school did make us a bit more muture. Although there were still bad mouthing, war fighting... we had treat each other with better intenttion. U were in a bad state of life with all the drinking outting night. There I was, cleaned up your messy vomitting and listened to you when you had a mental breakdown. 
Here we are, a few years in college, moved out and stay away from the tense of parent. Other might say you reachs the worst state in life. And I am, kind of still, trying to be on board with you. But there was one time when the truth finally hit me. I was always look down on myself, always let everything be easy on you. Too much to the point that you kind of take me for granted and treat me with not much respect and love as i think i deserve. I realize I'm the only one who will and ever will be in charged of protecting myself. And I started to make it a little less easier on you. Day by day it gets harder and harder. 
I can't help asking myself, why i'm i the only one who stay loyal with the brotherhood after all the back turning i got from you? Why am I the only one who ask and listen to your life while i'm rarely asked in returned? Why am I the only one try to keep u company whenever u want to go for food while mostly mine were turned down? Why should i trust u and treat u kindly as before after times i was left behind watching u choosing the outside world? (again, this is my emotions speaking. i hope u don't focus on its level of right) 
These resentments has dancing inside me for a long time. And i guess i simply got exhausted from trying to cover up my true feelings, which is silly. So here's my effort to tell u to that caring, loving, trusting, being ur company... is a selfmade choice. And it's not a right that u're born with. It's a privilege u have to earn. 
U've been better. U've treat me with more respect and i'm melt for that. But i'm sure there needs to be more effort from u if u want us to be that kind of good bro we used to be. I'm gonna take a rest for a while. Hopefully I can see some progress. Start by seeing u finish the chore on time. I'm out here trying to deal with my life problems. It would be nice if u can help me a little bit cos it's kind of a mental drowning going back to a dirty messy house. 
When things gets better, hopefully u still let me be a part of your life and help u out as u always do.
Again, i'm sorry for letting these resentments take over me and treat you unkind and roughly. From now on I'll try to fix it. Pls excuse me if time to time i still behave that way.
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heebiejbies · 6 years
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Limerence - The Final Chapter
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Limerence Masterlist
Characters: Sehun, Suho, and OC (Ursula)
Warnings: This series contains mentions of assault, sexual violence, and stalking.
Word Count: 4.3k
Limerence:  The state of being infatuated or obsessed with another person, typically experienced involuntarily and characterized by a strong desire for reciprocation of one’s feelings.
Eight months.
Eight months of pure misery.
Eight months of irreversible damage.
It took only eight months to break my heart.
Seeing Sehun’s face sitting at that table across from me with his hands handcuffed behind his back hurt worse than anything he did to me. Despite him being in that position because of me, he didn’t look at me with any trace of malice or hatred. He looked at me with a look of hurt, a look of betrayal. He had lost weight and he had dark circles under his eyes, he looked absolutely miserable and I knew I was the one to blame.
The judge was getting fed up with my silence. He asked me again and again if I’d like to press charges, but I couldn’t find it in my heart to say yes or no. I know that I should, but at the same time, I also know that I could never do something so horrible to the man I love. No matter what he did, I could never hurt him like that. My heart and brain were pulling me apart, and I was at my witts end.
“I-I’m sorry. I can’t do this!” I stood up from my seat and ran out of the courtroom and the courthouse. I ran outside to a pavilion nearby and fell to my knees on the concrete.
“Urs, are you alright?”
“No, I’m not alright! I can’t do this! I know I can’t do this!”
“But you have to! Don’t you understand that?”
“I can’t!” My body shook as I started sobbing. I couldn’t catch my breath, I couldn’t think properly, I couldn’t do anything but sit there in shambles under the pavilion.
They looked into everything in Sehun’s life. They found the software he installed on my phone, the pictures he had of me, the information he collected, they found all sorts of evidence of the crimes he committed. They had a solid case built against him but something was keeping an eye on him and watching out for him.
“He is incompetent to stand trial, so he won’t be sent to prison. He will be sent to a mental institution, though. He isn’t well in the head, Ursula, he needs treatment. I’m just thankful that the judge sees that he needs treatment and not prison.”
“What does that mean for me? Well, us?”
“I’m not sure, it’s still too early to tell the details.”
The day that the judge told Sehun’s fate had to be the worst day up until that point. The only thing that stood out to me that day was Sehun. He cried out to me, he cried out to me and begged me to help him but I couldn’t do anything but sit there and cry.
“N-no wait! Ursula! Please, Ursula, don’t let them take me away! Ursula, help me! Please!” I grasped my chest, feeling the pieces of my heart falling apart as I watched them drag him away.
“I’ll find you, I promise!” That is all I could say. They dragged him and the rest of my heart out that door and I never saw him again, not until three months later.
They wouldn’t allow me to see Sehun for a few months upon him being admitted, but his psychiatrist specifically requested that I be allowed to see him after he saw how much seeing me helped Sehun the first time.
They first let me see him through a two-way mirror. I looked at the man I love in complete shock, he looked completely different than the last time I saw him. His hair had dulled, the dark circles under his eyes had intensified, his skin had paled beyond belief, he looked absolutely miserable. He looked up at his psychiatrist, his eyes were cold and dead and showed no emotion in them.
“Sehun, I have something for you.” His psychiatrist motioned for me to enter the room. Sehun looked from his psychiatrist to me, then back to his psychiatrist. I walked over to the table where he sat, sitting next to him in a chair.
“Sehun, it’s me.” He looked at me as if I were a dream, a sweet dream that at any minute he could wake up from and realize that it was all a lie. He let his fingertips trace along my leg, that’s when he realized I was real. He didn’t say anything, but wrapped his arms around my waist and buried his head in my chest.
“I’m sick, Ursula… I’m so sick, I need help…”
“I know, angel, I know you do.” I rubbed his back to comfort him, he kept repeating over and over again that he was sick and needed help.
“Please, don’t leave me… I need you next to me, please don’t leave me all alone.” I could feel the pain in his words, and to say they hurt me would be an understatement. It felt like knives stabbing into my heart, him begging me not to leave him all alone.
“I won’t leave you, Sehun. I’ll be here with you through everything. The worst is over now, I’m here.”
They transferred him to an institution six hours away from me. For two months I drove three days a week to go see him before I finally moved near the institution. Dr. Scott helped with finding a different Veterinary Clinic I could transfer to. Thankfully, he knew a vet from school who had a place open and he put in a good word for me and I got the job easily.
Both Caspian and our mom didn’t agree with me moving so far away for Sehun. They could never begin to understand what either of us were going through, though, and that caused a rift in our relationships.
“Caspian is right, Ursula! Are you insane? Why would you move six hours away for some psycho?!”
“He is not a psycho, mom! He is ill and he needs me! He needs me now especially and I am going to be there for him no matter what you and Caspian think.”
“He doesn’t need you, Ursula! He kidnapped you for God’s sake, he stalked you and he murdered someone!”
“Neither of you understand, so just stay out of our business!”
I didn’t speak to either of them after that. They can say all they wanted to about me and Sehun, but I couldn’t leave him alone. He needed someone there for him throughout his treatment, and I knew that someone had to be me.
Sehun improved over my visits, he started turning back to the Sehun I fell in love with in the first place. It was around the fourth month after moving that his psychiatrist and I had a discussion about his mental health.
“Do you know what Limerence means, Ursula?”
“I do not, doctor. Does this have something to do with Sehun?”
“Yes, indeed it does.” He laid out Sehun’s file in front of me, filled with pages and pages of his recordings. There, on one of the pages, was the word he asked about—limerence.
Limerence: The state of being infatuated or obsessed with another person, typically experienced involuntarily and characterized by a strong desire for reciprocation of one's feelings but not primarily for a sexual relationship.
“I’m not quite sure what this has to do with Sehun.”
“Alright, let me explain this word a bit more. Some call it lovesickness, infatuation, etc. These feelings are not something Sehun can control, his mind will not stop thinking about you. Specific chemical responses in his brain have caused him to be this way, the responses are much like that of one addicted to drugs. The response that makes them crave more drugs makes him crave your affection. His mind is consumed with the thought of you, and it’s not something he can stop. He’s reminded of you everywhere. To put it simply, he’s addicted to you.
On the subject of the, well, crimes that were committed, Sehun isn’t quite to blame for this. He did things to please you, to make you happy and make your life easier. Such as the murder of your father and the attempted murder of Eric Revlin. What he experiences is so intense that it leaves all other concern in the dark, those are not important to him. He’s not a criminal, rather he is what I would define as mentally ill. I can explain more if you’d like at a later date, but I will say this. He is getting better. I can already see this limerence is slowly dying off. That is mostly thanks to you.”
Hearing that Sehun wasn’t in his right mind when he committed the acts that he did made me feel relieved. I already knew that he didn’t mean to do it, but hearing it from a psychiatrist reassured me. Sehun didn’t have any control over this, and the Sehun that did those horrible things wasn’t really him. Well, it was him, but it wasn’t on his own free-will.
“There are three ways in which Limerence subsides. One of which is called Consummation. This is where the one suffering limerence feels a certain feeling of reciprocation from the one that they are longing for. With what he has told me, I’m not sure why it took so long for the symptoms to start subsiding after you let your feelings for him be known, but it is subsiding and that is something we can be thankful for.”
“Are you sure you are ready to see him after so long?” After receiving a nasty bite from a dog at work, my arm was wrapped up nicely and I needed help putting on my coat. He helped me put it on with my injured arm and then put his on as well.
“He isn’t to blame for what he did, right? He was mentally ill, and he was my best friend. I love him, and I really want to see him again. Hopefully seeing me will help him recover.”
“Do you think we should tell him that we are living together? If what his psychiatrist said is to be believed then-”
“Then Sehun will understand why we are living together and won’t have any problem with it.” Sehun knew nothing of Suho after their last encounter. I wasn’t even sure if Sehun knew that Suho survived, or if he thought he had really killed him. Sehun never spoke about Suho, but hopefully, that would change with them being reunited after so long.
I regained consciousness when the paramedics lifted me up onto a gurney. They were attempting to speak to me, but I had a ringing in my ear that made it impossible to hear what they were saying to me. As they wheeled me into the ambulance, another face appeared beside me on a gurney. Despite being bruised and bloodied, I knew who it was instantly.
“S-Suho?” He reached out and grabbed my hand in his, then laid his head on the pillow and closed his eyes. Our hands stayed connected until we arrived at the hospital and we were taken to separate operating rooms.
Suho saved me that day. Something was looking out for the both of us, and we survived. Suho was the person who knocked Sehun off of me. He hit him over the head with a shovel and tried to help me stay conscious while we both waited for the ambulance. He didn’t tell me just exactly what Sehun did to him, but he told me how he ended up saving me.
“All I remember is one night I was watching TV, and then I blacked out and woke up at that house. I was locked down there and tied up, so I guess Sehun just thought if he tossed me down there I would eventually die. He only came down there a few times, and I pretended to be dead every time. He didn’t even look to see, which I am thankful for.”
The stories about being out of town, that was all Sehun’s doing. He had Suho’s phone and was using it to try and cover his tracks. Despite all of that, though, Suho didn’t hate Sehun. After the first few visits, I told Suho what the psychiatrist said about Sehun, and I think that’s when Suho understood.
“Sehun isn’t this person, he would never do these types of things. I’ve known him for a long time, I know he wouldn’t. He just changed, but if you can change then you can change back. He’s getting the help he needs, and with the doctors and you there I know he will be back to who he was before this all started.”
Upon entering the floor Sehun’s room was on, I could hear the faint sound of a piano being played. Then, I could hear singing. Sehun’s psychiatrist asked us to be quiet as he led us to the room where the music was coming from. He led us to another two-way mirror, there we were both shocked to see that it was Sehun playing the piano and singing. The psychiatrist knocked on the door to the room and entered, the music ceasing immediately. He motioned for us to enter the room, but I stopped Suho before he could enter.
“Maybe it’s… Best if I go first. Don’t you think? Just so it won’t overwhelm him.” Suho nodded in agreement, then handed Vivi to me. I took the bichon inside the room, Sehun jumping up from his seat upon seeing the two of us.
“Oh, Vivi my boy! I missed you so so so much! Thank you for taking care of him, Urs. I know he’s happy that his mommy is taking care of him.” Vivi yipped and licked Sehun’s face, happy to see him after so long. “I missed you so much, when I get out of here I promise you I will give you lots of cuddles and love to make up for the time apart!”
Sehun took Vivi and sat back down at the piano. He had him on his lap as he began mindlessly playing the piano. He pet Vivi with one hand, and his fingers on the other danced across the keys. Despite him not paying attention to what he was playing, he still played beautifully. I walked closer to peek over his shoulder, a piece of music laying on the piano caught my eye.
Scribbled in blue ink was a title. For Life. Then, there was a dedication. For Ursula. I read what lyrics I could make out, and I almost cried on spot. Sehun had poured his heart and soul out into this song, this song he wrote for me. He noticed me reading over his shoulder and laughed shyly.
“Ah, this? Yeah… This helps get my anxiety out. I wrote it for you, would you like to hear it?” I nodded my head vigorously, then sat down beside Sehun. I held it together until the end of the song.
“The storms will come and winds will blow I’ll be your shelter for life.  This love, this love, I mean it ‘till the day I die Oh, never gonna let you go Givin’ you my heart and soul I’ll be right here with you for life Oh, baby all I wanna do  Is spend my every second with you  So look in my eyes, I’ll be by your side  Yeah look in my eyes, I’ll be by your side  For life”
Watching him perform the song, the song he wrote for me, it made my heart skip a beat. He looked so angelic, he didn’t look like a real person. He was more perfect in this one moment than he had ever been, I couldn’t help but shed a tear as the last note faded.
“This is beautiful… Sehun I… I don’t know what to say...” He sat with his hands by his side for a moment, before turning and wrapping his arms around my waist. He nuzzled his face into my neck and sighed.
“I’ve been thinking for a long time, and being here has helped me clear my thoughts. Urs, it’s okay if you want to go… It’s okay if you want to leave me, I’ll let you go.”
In that moment,  I tried to think about a future where I left Sehun. I tried to see my future, my future without him. However, no matter how hard I thought and no matter how hard I imagined, I couldn’t see my future without him.
“But what if I want to stay?”
I couldn’t imagine a future without Sehun. He had become such an important person in my life, and no matter what he did I would never want to be without him. That’s why I sacrificed so much for him when basically everyone else would have left him.
“No, Urs, you… You deserve better than me. I’m not well, you need to be with someone who is normal and, well, sane.” His voice cracked, his tone trailing off and his gaze fell to his lap.
“Sehun,” I grabbed his face and made him look me in the eyes, “Have you ever thought that maybe, just maybe, I need you? That’s what I need, Sehun. You. Not anyone else, you.”
“But-”
“No, no more arguing, angel, I forbid it,” I laughed and kissed his cheek, “I’ll be right back.” I stood up from the piano and smiled at him, he didn’t argue with me further. Instead, he went back to playing the piano while I exited the room to grab Suho. A reunion I hoped would do wonders for his recovery.
Before we knew it, winter came, and with winter comes Christmas. After the first initial visit with Suho, Sehun’s progress sped up more than it had been before. I remember talking to Suho later that night about the visit, and he opened up to me in a way he had never done before.
“He’s really starting to be back to the Sehun I met so many years ago. He’s reverting back to himself, it almost brings tears to my eyes to see how well his progress is going.” Suho had been serious the entire night, more serious than I had seen him in a long time, “Urs, I cannot tell you how thankful I am for you. You’re such an amazing person to do all of this. I know what he did to you must have been difficult to deal with, but the fact that you are still with him and helping him recover says a lot about the type of person you are. Thank you for loving him, he really deserves someone as dedicated as you.”
He had a point, there were months where I cried myself to sleep every night because of what happened. I didn’t sleep a night through for the longest of times, no matter what form of medications they put me on or what methods they tried to aid me. However, no matter what those events did to me I couldn’t bring myself to hate Sehun. I could never hate Sehun.
Sehun’s psychiatrist allowed him to come home for the holidays, he could only be home for a few days but I knew I would make every second of those few days count. On the ride home, he acted as if he were a kid on his way to the candy store. He was bouncing in his seat, all smiles and giggles. I would be lying if I said I wasn’t as excited as he was, though. My love was finally coming home. Only for a few short days, but he was coming home.
“This is home? Our home?” Sehun stared in awe at the entrance of our house. Vivi came running over to him, jumping up at him begging to be picked up. Sehun picked him up and took a few more steps into the house. He entered each room with the same amazed expression that he had the moment he laid eyes on the house.
I showed him our room, and the first thing he did was go jump on the bed and snuggle up with one of the decorative pillows. He hummed to himself and relaxed for a bit, “I’m so happy to be home… I can’t wait until I can be home for good.”
“Me neither, angel, me neither.” I laid down on the bed beside him and couldn’t help but stare in awe. Seeing him laying on our bed, looking so at peace with himself and the world, there are no words that could explain the pure bliss I felt at that moment.
On Sehun’s last day home, he and Suho decided to cook for all of us. The two of them in the kitchen brought back one fond memory in particular.
After dinner, I helped Suho in the kitchen with the dishes. “You have a dishwasher, don’t you?” I asked. “Yeah, but neither of us really like using it,” He said.
“Oh, both of you will make such wonderful housewives one day!” I nudged Suho on the shoulder, teasing him.
“Are you saying I’m spouse material?” Sehun came behind me with a smirk on his face.
“That’s for me to know, and you to find out.”
I helped Suho with the dishes, much like that day, and I couldn’t help but dwell on the comment I made to Sehun. Something about the memory made me feel sentimental, especially when I realized that Sehun never had found out my answer.
Dinner went along smoothly, Sehun kept feeding Vivi meatballs under the table thinking Suho and I weren’t noticing. When Suho made a joke to Sehun, he simply responded with, “Vivi loves his daddy the most because I spoil him. You’re just jealous~” Vivi yipped in response, then begged for another meatball which Sehun gave to him immediately. I smiled bitterly at the sight, knowing that in a few short hours it would all be over.
Later that night, before we were ready to take Sehun back, we had one last moment alone. We were sitting out on the back porch in a swing, I held him in my arms like it would be the last time I would see him. I peppered kisses atop of his head, his cheeks were flushed red the entire time.
“Sehun, do you remember a few months after we met when I joked about you and Suho being housewives? I said you would have to find out if I was saying you would be spouse material?” He looked up at me, silently saying yes, “Well, I’ve thought about it, and I think it’s time you find out. I’m not sure what I was thinking then, but now, you’re the perfect spouse material for me. I... I couldn’t imagine someone better.”
“But Urs-”
“Sehun, no listen, the past doesn’t matter to me now. Nothing that happened matters, what matters is what’s happening now. Right now, that’s what matters. I love you, I love you more than you can ever imagine. Having you here in my arms with me, I couldn’t ask for a better Christmas miracle. I’m here with you until the end, I swear on my life.” He sat up in a sitting position and I wrapped my arms tightly around him. I pet his head with my right hand, the left gently rubbed his back, “I love you, Sehun. Only you.”
“I love you too, Ursula. You make me so happy… I couldn’t ask for a better woman. You’re such an angel, you have to be. Thank you for staying with me, thank you for loving and helping me. You mean the world to me, I couldn’t imagine doing any of this without you.” Sehun sniffled, indicating that he had started crying. I pulled away and used my thumbs to wipe his tears, then I placed a chaste kiss on his forehead.
We held one another for the remaining minutes we had together, then it was time to say goodbye. I helped Sehun gather his things, making sure he had everything he needed before we left to take him back.
Suho wanted to join us, so we waited while he grabbed something from his room. While we were patiently waiting, a knock on the door sounded throughout the house. I checked the clock by the door to see it was almost 11:30pm, curious as to who would be knocking on our door around that time of night. Sehun kept close behind me as I went over to the front door, and when I opened the door his face darkened beyond all belief. In fact, he looked grimmer in that moment than ever before. The softhearted face that I had seen since him being home was gone, now it was replaced with a menacing one.
“Hey, who is at the-” Suho stopped halfway down the staircase. I looked over at him and he looked at Sehun, shocked to see his facial expression as well. Sehun still hadn’t removed his eyes from the person standing in the doorway, that’s when I decided to look at the stranger. I didn’t recognize him, but it seemed like Sehun didn’t like him in the least. He smiled Sehun’s glare off and introduced himself.
“Hi, I apologize that I am here so late. I live next door with my older brother, and I have just now gotten around to come introduce myself to you all,” He smiled at me, his eyes crinkling at the corner, “It’s nice to meet you,” He ignored Sehun and spoke to me directly, taking my hand in his.
“I’m Zitao, but you can call me Tao.” 
Author’s Note: Ahh my baby is over  😭 I want to say a big thank you to everyone who tagged along with my first ever series and supported it! It means a lot to me  💜  Also, I hope you all enjoy the ending  😉 I know I did~
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sarohara · 3 years
Text
Stranger: m
You: You first
You: to say hey
Stranger: hey lol
You: ahhaha jk
You: Hey, how u doing?
You: im f btw
Stranger: cool im good just bored you?
You: Well, everyone's bored on omegle so..what's new right?
You: Im good as well
Stranger: haha true
You: May i ask ur name?
Stranger: Adam you?
You: Hey Adam, how's life?
You: ahahaha
You: Im Sarah
Stranger: nice to meet you :) its okay not great not awful
You: Oh it's a balance then
You: nice meeting u :)
Stranger: hahaha covid sucks but again what else is new right?
You: ahahahhaha yeeea right
You: Life sucks rn
You: But i hope it gets a lil bit better.
You: one day.
Stranger: same :( It has to haha
You: Hopefully :)
You: Wyd now?
Stranger: just school wbu?
Stranger: well not rn
Stranger: its 5 50 am here
Stranger: and thanksgiving lol
You: Oh online classes right? I hate it
You: Oooh 5:50am?
You: Wow, too early
Stranger: yeah im in california. couldn't sleep
You: yeaaa happy thanksgiving :) r u gonna do today?
You: Oh california, gotcha
Stranger: nm maybe play football and just eat hahaha you?
You: Eat is the best one right
You: Im not gonna do anything at all
Stranger: nice sometimes its good to just chill
Stranger: where you from?
You: Yea, i'm always doing this ahaha
You: i'm brazilian
Stranger: oh very cool :)
You: Yea :))
You: Hey, lemme show u a song
Stranger: ok
You: hold up
Stranger: ok haha
You: should i send the link or name?
Stranger: either one!
You: oke
You: name then
You: idk you yet by alexander 23
Stranger: listening now
You: it's a really good song and I just wanted to show this incredible masterpiece to the all world ahaha but it's not possible, sadly
You: i don't even know if u'll like it, but i hope so
Stranger: I love it actually
Stranger: my kinda music for sure
You: oh my gawd, i'm so happy.
You: ahahhaha
Stranger: thank you that made my day better
You: no, thank YOU
You: :))
Stranger: hahaha music is the best honestly
You: u mean, music is the best thing in the whole world? yea ikr. it's just perfect.
You: or u mean, that one..?
Stranger: I mean music in general
Stranger: but that song is excellent
You: oooh yeaa!!!
Stranger: already added to my spotify
You: it's my favorite thing in the whole world. music.
You: Aw :))
You: well, your turn.
Stranger: hahaha okay hold on
You: take your time
Stranger: as much as I ever could - city and color
You: oh, it's an old one
You: I mean, that's cool
You: listening now
Stranger: its one of my faves
You: oh shoot. this intro is just awesome.
Stranger: right?
You: ooohh that's so beautiful. idk, just hitts different u know. I genuinely love it.
Stranger: good im glad I could send a good one back :)
You: Aw, yea, it's freaking good :)
You: hey, wyd on omegle? u shouldn't be here ahaha nah im kidding
Stranger: hahaha I just go with the flow you know? california hippy :)
You: yea?😂
You: ahahhaha i get that. california hippy.
Stranger: thats me for sure
Stranger: what are you doing here hahaha
You: Guess what
You: I'm bored 😂
Stranger: lollll shocker hahahaha
You: And i just wanted to talk to someone. idk.
You: ahahahhahaha
You: no kidding!
You: lmao
Stranger: anything in particular you want to talk about ? :)
You: well, i mean , i guess anything in particular. Just talk about randomly things. u know.
You: killing time.
Stranger: yeah no I feel you for sure :)
You: Oh good to know that i'm not alone, im not the only one 😂
Stranger: it gets lonely with all online shit
You: Yea for real...everything's so complicated now.
Stranger: I know :(
You: I wish I had someone to blame sometimes ahah
Stranger: I know what you mean but at least its fucked up for everyone
You: Yea but if i could i would take all this shit just for me u know
Stranger: for sureeee I know what you mean but you can't bear that big of a burden alone
You: Yea ik ur right. but at least that would be 1000x easier.
You: I guess so. but anyways, there's nothing that i can do or anyone else.
Stranger: yeah :( no just be in it together and try to spread good vibes
You: yeah that's the point :))
Stranger: :)
You: hey, what about The Girl?
You: I mean, by city and colour
Stranger: love that one too
Stranger: they have some incredible songs
Stranger: the lead singers name is Dallas green thats where the band name comes from but he's a genius
You: Oooh wow, wise man huh ahah
You: It was really genius.
You: Nice pun I would say lmao
Stranger: I know his music just hits different
You: Yea. it feels like ur in 1999 traveling the world with someone.
Stranger: yeah its so calming :)
You: Pretty smooth aha :)
Stranger: makes me feel like the worlds gonna be okay ahaha
You: do u know more than one? please tell me, i need to escape there.
You: ahahha just kidding
Stranger: hahahaha
You: but yea, that's the power of music, it's like the whole world doesn't exist. just u & melody. and everything's gonna be okay. whatever it takes.
Stranger: its honestly pretty intimate sharing your favorite stuff with someone
You: Yaaaaas! it's really special, i would say. people usally don't wanna talk about stuff like that.
Stranger: honestly it gets deep for sure
You: Is that bad? should i stop to say these things or something?
Stranger: no no not at all :)
You: sorry, i'm a typist one. as u can see.
You: ahahha ooooh okay
Stranger: what do you look like?
You: u mean, physically?
Stranger: yeah
You: i'm brunette. brown eyes. 5''3. like that? ahahaha
Stranger: yeah you sound beautiful :)
You: oh thank u ahaha i guess.
You: what about u?
Stranger: 6 2 brown hair blue green eyes
You: Oh you're tall huh. and u sound cute. btw
Stranger: thanks :)
You: no problem :))
You: what time is it now?
Stranger: 6 42
You: almost an hour since the last time right
Stranger: yeah hahaha
You: time flies lmao
Stranger: it does for sure should I let you go?
You: good question.
You: nah, im kidding.
You: u shoudn't.
You: ahaha
You: just if u want to.
Stranger: not that I want to haha I just might go sleep soon
You: oh!!! sure sure. it's up to u.
Stranger: sorry haha I just have to get ready for bed and stuff and got kinda h
You: Oh
You: I get that
You: typing something?
Stranger: oh I was waiting it seemed like you were haha
Stranger: are you at all?
You: if i was typing? nah i wasn't. actually, i was waiting ahahah
Stranger: waiting for?
Stranger: oh for my typing?
You: oh my gawd ahahah yea exactly
You: but nvm
Stranger: no tell me hahaha
You: tell what? i was just waiting for ur typing. that's so confusing aahaha
Stranger: never mind hahaha were not on the same page hahahaha
You: def we're not ahahah
You: anyways. that's it, i guess so.
You: u have to go, right.
Stranger: alright it was nice talking to you :) yeah im sorry hahaha I got h
You: aight, nice meeting u as well
0 notes
Chapter 4: Mike & Matt
Mike and Matt were walking quietly as they made their way back home. It was a lot to take in, after all. Both were still busy digesting it. The existence of aliens, supposedly having superpowers, gods having been superheroes – them now being superheroes.
“We could just stay home today?”, suggested Mike hopefully, squeezing Matt's hand.
Matt huffed softly, turning his head to look at his fiance. “We could. But what would it change? You think all of this makes more sense tomorrow? Not to mention, I have a couple important meetings today. Sonia suggested a lunch meeting for us.”
“You're way too responsible”, complained Mike as he leaned in to kiss the top of Matt's head.
“Amore, you have never missed a single day ever”, pointed Matt out with one raised eyebrow.
Mike heaved a sigh. They were probably both too responsible. Which was why they would most likely allow themselves to be dragged into whatever this mess actually was. Superheroes. His other hand, the one not holding onto Matt's, found the small glass-marble in his sweater's pocket.
Cancer was in there. Unsure how that worked, but for easier understanding, Aquarius had compared it to a djinn's lamp. Rub the marble, summon the companion inside.
“I wonder who the other nine are”, whispered Mike thoughtfully.
Matt hummed curiously, staring blankly ahead, most likely just as lost in the same kind of thoughts as Mike. There were twelve Zodiacs. There were twelve Zodiac companions. Mike, Matt and Tanya had three – that left nine still missing. Cancer had, irritated and impatiently, told the humans that the twelve of them had gotten separated during the meteor-shower. Not a rare thing, it apparently happened 'most the times' – which only made Mike wonder even more just how often this had happened before. How many heroes, unknown to the world, had saved them from some strange alien-threat...? He was mildly mortified by the thought.
“Be safe”, ordered Matt as the two of them paused in front of the apartment complex.
He got on his toe-tips to kiss Mike gently, making the gruff cop smile slightly. “You too. Don't overwork yourself today, you hear me? I'll... see you tonight.”
Matt smiled as he headed inside, while Mike turned to walk on. For his day at the office, Matt needed to get changed and ready, while Mike really needed to head to the precinct.
~*~
Thankfully, today was a very slow day. Times like today made Mike really glad that life as a cop was not the same as TV made it look. Today was mainly paperwork for him and Rick and even as they went through it, Mike was aware of his partner's concerned glances.
“What's eating you up, honey-puff?”, asked Rick by the time lunch-break came close.
“Nothing”, grunted Mike, burying himself deeper in his paperwork.
“Su—ure”, grunted Rick in disbelief, leaning back some. “Don't tell me you and Matt had a fight. Yesterday, that dinner-thing with the rich people, right? Didn't go well? Wait. Don't tell me you made a fool of yourself and Matt broke up with you.”
Mike flipped him the bird without even looking up. “I can still ask someone else to be my best man. Anyone, really. We literally have a more qualified Alfaro right on this station.”
“...You're not making by baby brother your best man, hermano”, huffed Rick offended.
Mike smirked and remained quiet. Officer Eddie Alfaro was Rick's little brother who very eagerly followed his brother's footsteps into law enforcement. And teasing Rick about not being the most competent Alfaro around had essentially become a running gag at the precinct at this point.
Thankfully, he spotted someone out of the corner of his eyes who would do for a perfect change of topic. “You got a lunch date with a lovely lady today, Dick?”
Rick perked up at that, most likely expecting his fiance. By the time he turned around on his chair, the lovely lady stood right in front of him and pinched his cheeks before pulling him in to kiss his cheeks. There was a mild look of horror on Rick's face.
“Mijo! You lost weight again!”, declared the elderly woman scandalized.
“Abuelita. Abuelita, what are you doing here?”, asked Rick embarrassed.
Some of their co-workers snickered as they watched the unstoppable force of Julia Aiza de Alfaro assessing her grandson. Julia was a petite but fierce woman, who ruled the family with an iron fist and who was not up for being argued with. Mike smirked and leaned back, watching Julia's husband approach them at a more relaxed pace. Juan was rather laid back and he was a man who had learned decades ago not to argue with Julia. He smiled at Rick and came to stand next to Mike.
“Dios mío, you're only skin and bones!”, complained Julia displeased.
“Abuelita, I haven't-”, tried Rick to argue.
Julia shushed him. “Only. Skin. And. Bones.” She punctuated every word with a jab of her finger against Rick's ribs. “See? Nothing soft. I hit bones right away!”
“Ouch”, grunted Rick, rubbing the now sore spot. “Those aren't bones, those are muscles, abuelita. I'm a well-trained detective. I work out. I'm pure muscle-mass.”
“Nonsense, mijo”, chided Julia. “You're not eating enough.”
Rick looked utterly frustrated as he tried to argue with his grandma. Mike frowned deeply and grunted, gaining their attention. Rick's eyes widened, knowing exactly what Mike was planning.
“I don't know. I mean you did say you skipped breakfast this morning”, drawled Mike.
It was amusing to see Rick's eyes widen in utter horror. Julia seemed to grow two heads as she straightened and glared her grandson down. As she turned toward Juan with a fierce look, her husband smiled in an indulging way and walked over to them.
“Lunch! We will now go and eat lunch. No arguments, mijo!”, warned Julia. “Come. Come. Laureen makes wonderful pies! We will eat and then we will have pie.”
“Abuelita, I'm not even-”, started Rick to protest.
Juan chuckled and patted his grandson on the back, effectively silencing him. There was no arguing with Julia Aiza de Alfaro. Sometimes, it amazed Mike that Rick was even still trying.
“How are you doing, Michael?”, asked Juan with knowing eyes. “You look troubled?”
“I'm fine”, assured Mike with a slightly forced smile.
“Ah”, nodded Juan and laughed. “I know exactly what is troubling you.”
“Y—You do?”, asked Mike nervously, eyes widening because no one should know.
“Your wedding”, declared Juan, like it was the most obvious thing. “You are a young man, engaged to the love of your life. The wedding plans must put a lot of stress on you and Matteo.”
Instantly, Mike relaxed a little and sighed. “Oh. No, no. No worries about that.”
“I find that hard to believe”, stated Juan, raising one eyebrow. “I remember my wedding to Julia. I was so nervous about her parents. They were giving me quite the hard time.”
“Oh, my future in-laws adore me”, assured Mike with the smallest smile. “Giovanni has given me the protective dad speech with a special mafia-spin when we announced the engagement, but Matt just huffed and elbowed his dad and reminded him that they have no ties to the mafia. Giovanni spent the entire rest of the night pouting because Matt ruined it.”
That got him a laugh from Juan. “That's good. But it's more than just his family judging you, isn't it? You are getting married to one of the richest and most successful businessmen of North America. Every detail of your wedding will be all over the tabloids and the news.”
Somehow, Mike did not feel as relaxed anymore. His eyes widened. How had that thought never crossed his mind? Sure, he knew that he was getting married to a rich and successful man. And yes, the press had been interested in them – but they were a surprisingly boring couple; no cheating, no drama, no scandals. Though Mike had kind of planned their wedding as a normal wedding. He had never really considered that the rest of the world would partake in their wedding too, in away. The thought made him oddly nervous all of a sudden.
“Michael”, stated Julia, fixing him with a stern look and pulling him out of his thoughts. “You are coming to lunch too, mijo. Matteo does not feed you enough.”
Mike's eyes softened at that. It never failed to make him feel warm with what ease he had been adopted into this family. Even though he had only met Rick at the academy, the two had soon grown to be inseparable best friends. And as they ended up as partners at the PD, Rick's family had more than eagerly accepted him. Julia most of all, especially when she had learned that Mike was an orphan. By now they were the only family Mike and his sister could imagine.
“I can't, abuelita, but thanks”, replied Mike with a charming smile. “I'm meeting Mel for lunch.”
Julia nodded pleased by that. “Such a good boy. You could learn from him, Ricardo.”
“Wha...? I'm an awesome big brother”, huffed Rick offended. “I am the one showing Eddie the ropes around here! I'm his mentor.”
“Si, si. Eduardo. What about Enrique? You were not at his ballet performance!”, chided Julia.
“I was arresting a hostage taker!”, sputtered Rick defensively. “I would have been there if this guy hadn't decided to take a bank hostage! It was all hands on deck.”
Mike smiled fondly as he watched them leave and listened to their argument slowly fading out. Grabbing his own jacket, he got ready to leave too. He had agreed to meet his sister for lunch. Somehow that seemed trivial now, after last night. On his way out, he checked his phone. With his big sister, it wasn't rare to get canceled last minute. Melanie was a college professor and it often happened that a student needed counseling or had too many questions so her hours were full.
Mel: Burgers at 12. Ur paying, ur the 1 with the sugar daddy
Wiggling his nose, he typed his reply. Haha. Funny. I'll be there in 5.
Considering she was a professor for English literature, it never ceased to amaze Mike that Mel could completely fuck all grammar and spelling when it came to texting. Since he already had his phone in hand, he dialed his fiance's number to check in with Matt.
“Did something happen? Are you alright?”, asked Matt instantly, sounding concerned.
“No, sunshine, I'm good, I just wanted to see how you were doing”, assured Mike with a soft smile.
“Ah. Okay. Good. I'm... doing fine. Me and Tanya are doing fine. Aside from the yellow horse in the room. Literally. Sagittarius has been snooping around my office since we came here”, sighed Matt.
“...That's kind of cute”, mused Mike, grinning. “My prince with his unicorn.”
“Ha. Ha. Ha”, huffed Matt, though Mike could hear the genuine amusement. “You any conversations with Cancer? Or did your crab actually stay inside his... ah... glass-pearl?”
“I think Cancer is the most... reasonable out of the three and he saw that I was always among people so far. He wouldn't come out then”, offered Mike thoughtfully. “Probably won't talk to him until I get home tonight. Speaking of, when do you think you'll get home, sunshine?”
“I genuinely can't tell yet, amore. I'm sorry. Tanya and I are going to meet up with Sonya for dinner and who knows how long that will take us. Don't wait up. Not that that's going to stop you.”
“It's okay. I love you. Be safe”, hummed Mike gently.
“Always am. You too, amore”, said Matt before hanging up.
Sighing softly, Mike put the phone away and crossed the street. Or at least that was what he had wanted to do. A car nearly hit him, followed by a second car, followed by a five-headed dragon the size of a house. Mike paused and blinked a couple of times. He turned to look after the dragon. Yup. Still there. Giant lizard with five heads. No, wait, those weren't called dragons. It was on the tip of Mike's tongue. Matt was obsessed with Greek mythology – it was the reason he had named his company Chiron Training, because Chiron was apparently the greatest trainer of heroes there was. Something with an hy-... sounded like a hydrant.
Shaking his head, he took out his phone to take a picture. Matt would know what this was. And Cancer would be able to explain it. Because something told Mike that this was directly related to the sudden appearance of colorful creatures telling them about heroes. Heroes usually had some figurative dragons to slay. The emphasis here being on 'figurative' though.
Mike yelped as the beast turned around and hit him square with its tail. Laying on the ground, he could only watch with utter mortification how heat and smoke rose from one of the beast's muzzles. Its mouth stood wide open as it prepared to burn Mike to a crisp. This was how he was going to go out. Not heroically on the job, not old and gray in Matt's arms and with their children and grandchildren surrounding them. No instead, on the street, burned alive by a hydrant-dragon.
“Watch out!”
The next second, someone landed right in front of Mike. The first thing Mike noticed was that the guy had a really nice ass. In his defense, the guy had landed right on front of Mike, Mike was laying on the ground and the other was kneeling. Skin-tight dark-red leather-pants also helped. The man stood up and lifted a sword up over his head. It had a curious grip, with what looked like dragon wings spreading out and a red gem at the center. The man was wearing a leather hoodie made of the same dark-red leather as his pants.
Mike gasped surprised when the sword caught fire and as the beast spit its fire at them, the sword just blocked it and seemingly absorbed the heat. Wow. This felt far too much like he was the damsel in distress of an actual superhero movie. Something meowed next to him.
“Shoo”, said an annoyed little voice. “What are you still doing here, human? Shoo! Go to safety.”
“...A talking lion-cub”, muttered Mike, blinking. “A talking lion-cub on fire.”
“Yes. Very observant, human. Now shoo”, nodded the cute little lion.
It was adorable. Dark red and with a pink nose. His mane was made of pure flames. Wait. A lion. Like the lion? Leo? The Zodiac sign? Mike's eyes wandered over to the guy dressed in red leather. A hero, bonded with an adorable Zodiac companion. That had to be it.
The lion nipped at Mike's heel and Mike finally complied. After all, he was right. This was dangerous and he was just a human. He didn't even know what kind of powers Cancer could grant him, much less how to wield them. He was... absolutely useless right now. He fixed the human hero with a concerned glance. He hoped the guy would be alright on his own.
“Scorpio! Get your butt moving! I could use some fire-extinguishing!”, called the young man out.
“Coming, Leo! Wo-hoo!”, yelped a female voice.
Mike, in the act of getting up, turned toward the voice. He stared in stunned silence as a girl just swung into the scene via a whip that she had curled around the street-lamp. She landed not quite gracefully next to Leo. Okay. She definitely looked out of this world.
Dark-purple hair and wearing the strangest outfit. Skin-tight white top with a frilly two-layered skirt in two different shades of purple, puffy sleeves and thigh-high white boots. She offered a bright smile as she wielded her whip, snapping it at the dragon-creature and tying its necks together.
Shaking his head, Mike finally decided to get going. He was a cop. He knew better than to be a bystander who in the end got pulled into the crossfire. Hurrying, he made his way across the street.
By the time he reached the pub, he was out of breath. Yet here, it was quiet. Blinking at how bizarre all of this was, he opened the St. John's Pub's door and entered. Inside was a whole, different world. It was calm, people were talking and laughing. No one was even aware of what was going on two blocks over. This was now his reality and he was just... overwhelmed by that.
“Well, you look traumatized. Didn't walk in on Rick and Lizzy having sex in a closet again?”
Mike shuddered at the reminder of that traumatic experience of seeing his best friend and said best friend's girlfriend have sex in the supply closet that one time. Glaring, Mike sat down opposite his sister. Melanie smiled at him with a knowing twinkle in her eyes. His glare darkened.
“What? Something happened?”, teased Melanie, leaning back and taking the menu.
She pushed her glasses up on her nose and in the same motion brushed her long, black hair back over her shoulder. Mike sighed, contemplating what to say. What had happened outside was something that had actually happened. At least Mike hoped it. Part of him still thought that maybe there had been a gas-leak at Tanya's and all three had experienced hallucinations...?
“Abuelo just reminded me that my wedding is going to be a public event”, grunted Mike.
“Of course did you not consider that”, chuckled Melanie amused.
“I mean, Mattie is going to pay to make sure this is as private as possible, but...”, drawled Mike.
“You're absolutely hopeless, brother”, sighed Melanie and shook her head.
“I kno—ow”, groaned Mike and let his forehead fall onto the table.
“Can you go and order me a vegetarian burger?”, requested Melanie. “And a small salad.”
“You do know you could order our food too, right?”, drawled Mike.
Melanie made a face and looked at the bar. Behind it, as nearly always, was Jessie St. John. Mike might be gay, but he could see that Jessie was an objectively attractive woman. She was athletic, not with bulky muscles but he had already seen her six-pack when she was wearing a midriff free shit, her arms strong too. Aside from that, she shared most of her features with her brother. The light-brown hair, the dark-green eyes, pale and freckled skin.
“You are the most useless lesbian ever”, stated Mike pointedly as he got up to go to the bar.
Which was true. Melanie really was a useless lesbian. Whenever she was faced with a beautiful girl, her brain just farted. She would sputter, blush and stammer. Mike had his money down that his sister was going to die as an old and lonely cat-lady because of that. Melanie grumbled beneath her breath and tilted her head down, knowing very well that Mike was right.
“Hey, Jessie”, greeted Mike with a smile. “A vegetarian burger for my sis and a triple-bacon for me. A beer and a... mh... lemonade for me. Oh, and a small salad for Mel.”
Jessie scribbled it all down and raised one eyebrow. “Still can't talk to me, eh? Guess I'll be taking it as a compliment. But how long does she usually take before she can talk to pretty girls?”
“I have yet to see it happen”, drawled Mike with the most unimpressed look on his face.
“Girl's gotta get out and get herself a girlfriend”, stated Jessie seriously. “To get over all of this.”
“See, that's where the problem lays. Can't get a girlfriend if she can't talk to gorgeous women. And you, for some reason”, stated Mike with a teasing smirk.
Jessie flipped him the bird. “I'll spit in your lemonade.”
“Secret ingredient to the homemade lemonade, huh?”, snickered Mike and returned to the table.
Melanie looked absolutely miserable where she was sprawled out half on the table. “Sometimes, I question how we can be related. You somehow managed to get engaged to a handsome billionaire and I can't even order a damn burger from a pretty girl...”
“Yeah. You're pathetic”, agreed Mike solemnly, getting kicked under the table.
The siblings fell into light banter as they waited for their burger. Mike was pleased by who brought their food, because it was Jamie, personally. Special treatment that never failed to make Mike smile. Jamie looked a little flushed, which was a good look on his fair skin.
“Hey. Matt not coming today?”, asked Jamie with a smile.
Mike had a dopey grin on his lips. He loved the way Jamie smiled, because the smile always lit his eyes up and made them look a brighter green than they actually were. Melanie kicked him under the table again and was giving him a pointed look that clearly said 'Now I see how we're related because you can be just as useless and pathetic as me', which... was legit.
“No. He's at work”, sighed Mike with the smallest pout.
“Poor you”, chuckled Jamie amused. “Well, guys. Enjoy your burgers.”
“Thanks. I love bacon”, hummed Mike, staring after Jamie's ass longingly when he walked away.
“...Honestly”, snorted Melanie and rolled her eyes before taking a huge bite from her burger.
“Shut up”, glowered Mike, sticking his tongue out at Melanie.
~*~
“There's a dragon loose.”
Matt blinked slowly and looked up from the paperwork he was going through. Tanya had stormed into his private office. She closed the door behind herself and rushed over to the giant TV. Matt's eyes widened as the news came on. There was a five-headed beast on screen.
“-first on scene was our own Isabel Tapia.”
Isabel was cut into the picture, microphone in hand and serious expression on her face. “What appeared to be a real-life dragon roared its way up fifth street today. And even though there were many injured, thankfully enough no one was seriously harmed. And thanks for that go to the two new self-proclaimed protectors of New York. The Lionhearts, as they called themselves.”
The footage in the background changed, still showing the five-headed dragon but this time around it was battling two oddly dressed humans. A girl in a purple skirt and a guy in red leather.
“...What in the name of god”, muttered Matt as he leaned back on his chair.
“Oh!”, exclaimed Sagittarius excitedly. “Leo and Scorpio!”
The unicorn had blatantly refused to return to her tiny glass-marble, instead thoroughly inspecting Matt's office and enjoying the view. He found himself not minding it as much as he probably should, but he sure was glad he had not chosen the glass-walls for his office.
“What?”, asked Tanya, looking at the yellow unicorn in confusion.
Sagittarius walked toward the screen and pointed with her horn at what appeared to be two small lions, one dark-red and one light-purple. Though something was off about both – well, aside from their color-scheme, quite clearly – the red lion had a mane that was seemingly on fire, while the purple lion had a... scorpion-tail of sorts. Frowning, Matt rubbed his face.
“Those are Scorpio and Leo”, stated Sagittarius. “That means those two humans must be their humans. Which is good. We found Scorpio and Leo already.”
“Well, we haven't really found them”, pointed Tanya out and raised both eyebrows. “They are vaguely somewhere in Los Angeles. Which, not exactly a small town.”
Sagittarius glared at her. A glaring unicorn looked vaguely bizarre. Matt rubbed his face again.
“What about the hydra?”, asked Matt after another beat. “Where does that come from?”
Tilting her head, Sagittarius walked over to the desk. “You know there are twelve Zodiacs, yes?”
“Yes. We had that conversation yesterday”, confirmed Matt and leaned back.
“There are many constellations in the sky”, started Sagittarius carefully. “But it is the twelve of us who are... the... the chosen ones. The Zodiacs. The ones who are assigned special importance and meaning. The ones humans wish to associate themselves with. The ones humans tie their fate to. At times, the other constellations grow jealous of us and want more... More power and more attention. The hydra is a constellation and apparently, she is already on Earth.”
“Wait. How does that work?”, grunted Tanya, massaging her temples.
“We're manifestations of the constellations”, answered Sagittarius. “But we – the Zodiacs – are more powerful, because you humans assigned us the task of being Zodiacs. You tied more meaning to us than to the other constellations. And at times, that makes the minor constellations revolt.”
“...The hydra from the myths is actually the constellation hydra”, muttered Matt with a frown.
“The constellation existed first and manifested as the beast, thus earning her name as hydra. Both, the monster and the constellation”, confirmed Sagittarius.
“So, does this mean this... hydra is... bonded to a human too?”, asked Tanya concerned.
“Yes. We draw our power from humans”, nodded Sagittarius. “We on our own have no powers. We can only gift our powers to a human. As you saw with Scorpio and Leo on the magic box. They bonded with humans and gave the humans powers and weapons. That is what Aquarius, Cancer and I wish to do with you and the grumpy human.”
“Mike. His name is Mike”, interjected Matt pointedly.
“I'm sorry, your human names are very hard to remember”, apologized Sagittarius.
“Su—ure, Sagittarius”, grunted Matt, one eyebrow cocked.
Sagittarius blinked and tilted her head, which looked ridiculously cute on the yellow unicorn. Matt had always wanted a unicorn. He had never pictured it to go down like this though. His eyes went back to the television where the news were still showing the fight that had gone down between the red-clad guy, the girl in the skirt and the five-headed hydra.
This was reality.
It was actually real. It was on the news. People could see it. It wasn't just in his head, as he had kind of hoped until now. But it was actual reality. Alien creatures, manifestations of the constellations. Some good, others not. He was meant to become a hero? Along with his fiance and his best friend. To battle against the... bad... constellations?
Shaking his head, Matt checked his phone, feeling like he needed some kind of contact with Mike. Mike had sent a couple messages while Matt had been distracted by work. The first of them was of the hydra and the red-clad guy standing in front of it, seemingly wielding fire itself.
12:04 - Ran into a bit of trouble. Am okay, got saved by a talking lion on fire.
12:04 - That just sounds absurd. Damn.
12:06 - Lunch with Mel now.
12:08 - Still can't talk to Jessie. What did I do to deserve such a loser sister...? Help me set her up.
12:09 - Jessie will help with setting Mel up too.
12:12 - Too bad Jess is straight. She'd be able to reign Mel in.
12:23 - Mel's being weird.
12:23 - I'm being weird too, so yeah.
12:49 - Rick was at lunch with abuelita & abuelo. He has a stomachache now. :D
13:02 - I love you. See you tonight. Out on a case now.
Matt smiled gently at that and typed a reply of his own. Setting her up sounds good. Let's round up the lesbians for Melanie. Saw the news. And the heroes. Call themselves Team Lionheart. This is crazy. I'll bring you up to speed tonight. Stay safe and text me when you get back to the station.
“Okay. No more talk about heroes and monsters. We have a meeting to prepare for”, declared Matt seriously, looking at Sagittarius and Tanya. “In this building, we actually work.”
“Such a strange human”, hummed Sagittarius and tilted her head. “I do not like the work-ethnic. My Apollo was far more fun than you are. Please be more fun.”
“All she does is complain about me”, grunted Matt, looking at Tanya and motioning at Sagittarius. “'I wanted a pretty girl as a princess!', 'You're not fun enough!', 'Why do you not have apples in your office?'. She complains about everything... Is Aquarius as bad?”
“No. She has been very sweet”, hummed Tanya with an amused smile.
“Well, she got a pretty pretty”, pouted Sagittarius.
Tanya blushed at the compliment and blinked slowly. “And how exactly did you end up with Matt? I mean, why not me, since you seem more inclined toward... not-Matt.”
“He was born under my sign”, replied Sagittarius. “You were born under Aquarius. That is the bond we Zodiacs need to tie ourselves to a human.”
Matt sighed once more and rubbed his face. Hopefully, he would be able to go through the day.
~*~
Mike was out like a candle by the time Matt got home and at least this time Mike had gone to bed. Though the lights were still on and he had his tablet on his chest, so Matt guessed his fiance had still attempted to wait for him. Smiling softly, Matt took the tablet and laid it on the nightstand.
“He has been researching constellations after we talked.”
Startling some, Matt turned to look at the dark-blue crab sitting on one of the pillows. “Hello, Cancer. So you already talked him through things...? I don't need to catch him up.”
“No. You might go to bed, Matteo”, confirmed Cancer. “But would you mind drawing me a bath in your tiny hovering water-box...? Michael fell asleep before he could.”
Smiling, Matt picked the crab up and went to the bathroom to fill one of the two sinks with lukewarm water for Cancer. Cancer sighed contently as he soaked in the water. Through the open door, Matt could see the yellow glow of Sagittarius leaving her glass-marble. On his way back to the bedroom, Matt checked on her and saw that the yellow unicorn was getting comfortable in the living room. After getting changed, Matt crawled into bed with his fiance.
“Sunshine...?”, mumbled Mike sleepily as Matt sneaked in beneath his arm.
“Sh. Sleep. Sleep, amore”, whispered Matt gently, pecking Mike's lips.
“Love you”, yawned Mike, hugging Matt closer.
“I love you too”, chuckled Matt fondly.
And before he fell asleep, Matt knew that whatever this new reality was, he could face it as long as he had Mike at his side, giving him the strength to handle whatever this was.
Read here on AO3!
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briteboy · 7 years
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stealing @bratsims format because i need a less ugly way to mass answer your messages which will hopefully motivate me to stay on top of this! at least i can say i tried
so if you sent me an anon message in the past...idk MONTH (i’m bad i know) it might be here. (older ones are near the bottom) if not, check my faq because it’s probably answered there. (and if you’re the person/people who sent the twin flame & 7th house asks, i plan to answer those separately because i have a LOT to say. get ready)
game of thrones, nuclear war, real life santis, lou theories, i’m evil, HERE WE GO!! i literally had to cut it off at the last one because it was just too much for now. i’ll try to answer some more later ok
we’re starting off on a great note
Anonymous said: gaddamn rooney's tiddies lookin' hella ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
STOP!!!!!!!!!!! THAT’S MY CHILD soaidfnjds she’s supposed to have like b/c cups (goals for me tbh, the big boob life is not fun) and sims 4 pregnancies just fuckin make them...NYOOM i’m mad you can’t edit sims’ bodies during pregnancy even with cas.fulleditmode on -___- so i let her live with her giant preggo tiddies for now
Ngl I want a kiss between Santi and Gianni (I'm sorry I'm literally trash)
then i’m here to satisfy your desires: they do kiss periodically because gianni is one of those people who’s like “why shouldn’t you kiss your friends?” free love 4 everyone
IM SCREAING AT UR YOUTUBE CHANNEL OK!!!! I LOVEEE IT, WOW
DON’T IT’S UGLY EXCEPT FOR LIKE TWO VIDEOS
hey this is kinda random but i thought joe seaward from glass animals looked kinda like santi? he has quite a weird face too lmao
oMG i actually love that, i know what you mean. that dude reminds me of a bull terrier lmao i actually saw glass animals like two weeks ago!! i didn’t really get a good look at the drummer but now i wish i did. missed connection
i just finished reading santi's story and ugh it almost had me in tears! beautiful, your story telling skills and editing skills are perfection!
ahhhhsdkgkds thank you so much ;____; that means the world to me <333
Unpopular opinion: im so done with game of thrones tbh. It's not even good anymore :/ I liked the first season but since then i've skipped through episodes because they are just sooo fucking boring and dragged out!
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see like the first three seasons were pretty good because they stayed true to the books. (actually that’s a lie, littlefinger’s chaos speech in the s3 finale was real fuckin bad because guess what: it was original material LMAO) the fourth season was where it started to get messy and then the fifth season was a fucking shitshow because they completely IGNORED the fourth book and cherrypicked all the “good” parts out of it (read: the most action-y parts, while ignoring all the most important pieces of character development) and they botched the dorne storyline, oh and who could forget the iconic moment of throwing in a rape (THAT DIDN’T HAPPEN IN THE BOOKS) just for fun :) love it! but anyway if you think the show is boring i probably wouldn’t recommend the books, they’re even slower getting through them lmao. but it’s worth it in my opinion. there’s so much they don’t include in the show and it makes me Angery
Okay, game of thrones fan here, I haven't read the books (yet at least, I bought book 1) but I feel like dany is going to practically turn into her father, this season she is already showing traits like his.......
OH YEAH i definitely feel like they’re moving in that direction in the process of revealing jon as the “true” king of westeros and it’s so bad lmfao. the thing is, like...cersei is already mad king 2.0? why do we need another one?????? the entire point of dany’s arc is that she’s constantly trying to deviate AWAY from the way her father ruled, demonstrated by the fact that she freed the slaves (whereas all the targaryens before were slave owners), the fact that she’s not perpetuating the whole incest thing (LMAO GUESS AGAIN BECAUSE JONERYS HAS TO HAPPEN FOR SOME FCKING REASON), the fact that she has dragons which haven’t existed in how many years...like, if she ever ends up being like her father in the books, it’s NOT gonna fucking happen like this. but i don’t think she will anyway, george rr martin has been pretty clear about her trajectory thus far. anyway this show is so ugly, next question
rooney's eye are so BIG
just like her tiddies lmao i kno sometimes i forget how big they are and then she does one of those silly endearing animations and i’m like o ;-; hello big dumb baby cow eyes
Cows? Are you secretly Matthew Daddario?
WHO i had to google him lmao i was about to say “oh the teen wolf guy” but jk @ myself u idiot it’s shadowhunters damn i literally googled “matthew daddario cows” and
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tru
I love how fragile Lou looks like but the truth is that she is strong af and you can't play with her bruh
SHE IS ;-; and that’s a huge theme in her story, i’m excited <3
ima leave ur blog and come bk and spam you so you will finally notice me
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im part of this online forum of girls that talks about our period and weather or not one of us might be pregnant and once this girl posted saying that her husband invited his mom without telling her to thier honeymoon and she didnt find out until they arrived at the hotel and she was already there. the most recent part reminded me of it. but long story short, her dad moved all her stuff out of his house and her friend came to pick her up and they got a divorce.
OISOJDFAKNLJSD WHAT!!! i’m guessing you sent this because of that thing i said about the reddit post lmfaooo imagine your mom on your honeymoon. why. that’s soooooooooo good 4 her u know. u don’t need to be married to his mom as well
thanks 4 trusting my love santi. he's beautiful
thank u he thinks ur beautiful too 💘
do you have any tips for runing game in good quality and fast?
euhhhhh the only tips i have for you are to merge your cc, close all other programs while you play your game, maybe invest in a cooling pad uhhhhhh yeah idk any other tips you can probably find on google
You told that thing about unfollowing people and I thought you unfollowed me, but then I checked and you didn't and I'm crying omg
lmao omg ;-; i literally cut my following list in half, it was so chaotic and it was making me anxious. so if ever unfollow any of you please don’t take it personally (i know it’s a stupid thing to say, and it’s a lot easier said than done) it’s just my brain explodes when there’s too much going on at once and some content blends into others, i’m trying to only follow people who i’m genuinely interested in enough to keep up with their posts from now on
I haven't been able to sleep in over 72 hours thanks to the constant fear over the looming world war. I'm fine. Completely fine
Oh shit, have you noticed that the media has been putting out more 'what to do during a nuclear attack' kinda articles? This world is slowly going to shit, for real. I'm not even near any of the danger really, but it still absolutely terrifies me to see all of that bc it could very well go wrong and hit my place as well yknow? I have no idea why i send this to you but you seem chill and calm so thanks for reading my freakout askfjsls
YEP it’s pretty terrifying. but at the same time don’t let fear overwhelm you, fearmongering is an ugly, ugly thing and you don’t want to live your life constantly worrying. so just prepare yourself for what might come, but at the same time, just spend as much time with your loved ones as you can, do all the things you’ve ever wanted to do, and then if it doesn’t turn out as bad as we thought it would, you *tim mcgraw voice* lived like u were dyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyin’
@ Jesus anon: I really don't think it's the right time to complain about "using the lord name in vain" when there are people terrified of leaving their homes bc they are afraid to get killed (aka that poor, poor Jewish anon in charlottesville)
yeah idk like i want to respect everyone but it seemed to be in poor taste to bring that up at a time like that lmao. and also i’ve literally never in my entire life met someone who actually takes “don’t say the lord’s name in vain” seriously. 
I asked about the poses and HOLY CRAP THANK YOU SO MUCH! I finally have good poses to use for story telling. Thank you soo so so so sooooo much!
YAY i’m glad you found some good stuff <3 and honestly just going through lana’s blog you’ll find a ton of good poses, it’s a gold mine
Idk how much tv you watch, but have you've ever come across a tv show that used music from The Sim? Because once in a while I'll hear Sims 3 build/buy music on some random show and I'll get a lil shook because I find it so weird that the generic music they're using comes from a major game title.
OMG LMAO NO what i wish i’d come across that tho. one time i used sims 1 music in a video i made for school and someone recognized it
I love your stories gosh I check your page "it's everyday bro with femmesim flow" Lol sorry for that awkward Jake Paul "poop" ❤️
lmao thank u i had no idea who jake paul was until my friends started talking about him
yo, I also remember once in french class real life santi asked me what videos games I like to play. When I told him the sims, he looked at me for a while and shaked his head. He was like, "why do you want to watch your sims use the toilet?"
WHY DO YOU WANT TO WATCH YOUR SIMS USE THE TOILET SAME that’s all i care about when i play
that rooney face in the 5 facts is so iconic, its my fave picture of her. You should blow it up and frame it
i should tbh. i should print it out and put it in my wallet to show everyone because she is my child
sorry the bother you, merging cc makes your game smoother? can you explain to me please?
boop
hi i love you ♡ pass it on
I LOVE U
Can I say that hearing a MacBooks fans screaming for dear life as they try to cool down when playing the sims has actually started to haunt my nightmares
SAME my macbook is actually doing it right now for no reason. thanks laptop
Maybe Santi should go to therapy to talk out his issues.
maybe he should 🤔  but tbh he’s already talked out everything, there’s nothing really more to talk out. he just has to cope with it. he’s treated lou like his therapist thus far and that’s not okay
i love ur story and omg i totally get where lou is coming from with being tired of being compared to molly by santi, thatd hurt so much esp with how much she cares about him
thank youuu ;-; i’m glad you understand, this was a part i’d wanted to get out for a loooong time now, and i know you guys were always like “um why does she put up with this” lmao. she just loves him, that’s why. but you’re right, it does hurt.
My theory is very similar to the other anons in that Fiona's dad/Lou's ex had a mental illness (schizophrenia, depression, what have you) but he actually did kill himself and that's why she's not completely losing it on Santi because I feel like most people in that situation would have not handled it as well as Lou did
🤔 you’re right about the last part, and there’s a reason she has so much patience, das all i’m sayin
i started your story from the beginning last night and i am in awe. Its amazing. It inspired me to put a little more effort in learning to edit and write. It was like reading screen caps from a movie! I didn't want to stop reading. Anyway thing was a super sappy ask, but i appreciate your stuff. And i'm bad at putting my thoughts into words.
omg ;__________; when people tell me i inspired them it means the most to me, my brain just can’t process it lmao. so thank you so so much ;-; <333 THE MOVIE THING ESPECIALLY GOT ME IN THE HEART because i feel like that’s my aesthetic with most things i create because i’m such a film person lol. don’t worry i love super sappy, and you did a good job of wording everything because it got me right in the feels <33
Okay I've been snickering for about 43 minutes bc SANTI GOT THAT GRU CHINNN
WOT is that i googled it and the only thing that came up was the dad from despicable me lmfaosdkjfs but ok
Please, please do punk edits of your some of your characters! I'd die.
WHAT DOES THIS MEANNN do you mean like. those 2010 tumblr edits of punk disney characters and then the joker from suicide squad looked like one of them. do u want santi to be the joker. because my boyfriend already relates him to suicide squad joker because of his face tatt lmao
You love to make me cry
i do i’m sorry. if it makes you feel any better i love to make myself cry too. but my biceps grow stronger with every tear
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I reeeally dont think those chancla comments were offensive??? Why would they be?? I'm hispanic (born and raised in the sunny Dominican Republic, received a fair amount of chancletazos myself) and I laughed out loud when i read them 😂😂
I JUST WANT U TO KNOW I SHOWED @ichosim THIS MESSAGE AND SHE LAUGHED FOR 12 HOURS AT “CHANCLETAZOS”
whATT my little brothers name is santiago n we call him santi for short!! guess it's not rly that uncommon but we live in a small country and he's also 4 so like,, no other santiagos!! idk why im saying this its completely irrelevant just kinda surprised me :'))
OMG wow hell yeah another real life santi...santi acts like a 4 yr old so he might as well be your brother
Just curious.. Do you play sims or just use it for storytelling? Sorry if thats weird haha
well my recent gameplay pics should answer your question lmao. i do like to play but i don’t have enough time to both play and pose scenes so i mostly just pose scenes for now. :[ i am gonna be off work for like two weeks tho so hell yeah gameplay here i come!!
I'm starting a Fiona appreciation movement because she is the real star of santis story RT and i love her and she is way underappreciated and I love her KThxBi
SHE IS THE REAL STAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i’ve said this before but santi’s relationship with her is the most important to me, out of every relationship he has in this story. i’m so glad you love her so much, sorry about what’s about to come in the next few scenes tho
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Oh my heart, Santi is alive, god exist
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I have a pretty hard time understanding Santi's story mostly because I'm not English but I'm sure I'll figure it out:)
ahh oh no D: i’m sorry i wish i spoke every language in the world lmao. if you want, you can message me off anon and i’ll help you understand it!!
Lou is an angel honestly
“there are worse things than seeing an angel before you die”
what tablet do you use? or how do you draw hair? it looks so pretty.
omg haha i don’t have one! i wish i did tho. all of the brushes i got from deviantart, i’m trying to find the specific ones but they’re all elusive wtf. i’ll post them when i find them! for now, here’s a good guide to drawing hair, by airi <3
Nah nah I always knew you'd save him.....eheheeh.....THANK YOU FOR NOT KILLING BABBY SANTEEEEEEEEE DNDDNSKANW YOU WOULD HAVE HAD SO MUCH BLOOD ON UR HANDS AS ALL UR FOLLOWERS COLLECTIVELY DIE FROM A BROKEN HEART BUT DW WE DIDNT BECAUSE UR QN ANGEL....but I toooootally knew you'd save him... /sweats/
I’M GLAD U HAD FAITH <3 i know omfg i would’ve expected a mob at my house if i’d actually killed him. if i ever killed him i would just lay down somewhere and die. that’s it for me
Lou & molly almost always have teeth showing, do you draw them on each pic?x
no, only sometimes i’ve drawn them when i felt like their mouths weren’t matching the expression i wanted. but most of the time it’s just the pose.
is it too late to send 16k dollars to guarantee santi's inclusion in a loving home with loving friends
it is absolutely never too late to send me 16k i promise you that
I just bought school books for $550 who knew studying marine biology could be so fuckING EXPENSIVE
EWW WTF...i’ve been lucky and haven’t had to spend a ton on books in my college career (one time i even went to such lengths that i got access to free trial version of one of my school books in a pdf, screencapped EVERY SINGLE PAGE, which was more than 400 pages, just so i wouldn’t have to spend $70 on it. i love cheating the system)
waIT i never saw ur selfie where is it, must see
u could probably just search “selfie” on my blog and find it, or enjoy the ugly closeup drunk snap i posted last night
Hey guys I'm a happy trans man that has no mental illnesses. I'm fucking pissed about Trump's ban. And to any one that says it's logical FUCK YOU! I'm having flashbacks to don't ask, don't tell because this is the same fucking wacked up logic. I'm so angry, like I'm a human, yes I may require testosterone shots once a month but that's it, I even administer them to myself. I pay for them with my own god damn money so fuck you transphobic bigots who say this law is fair. It's not. WE ARE HUMAN TOO Also same anon that ranted. Sorry about that I'm just really pissed and I love and thank you for sticking up for the community. We love you and I love you. And you're right not all trans people transition. We all do what we want to. Some start on T or E and have the full surgery. Some just have top surgery. Some just do testosterone or estrogen. Some never do anything. We're all still trans and we're all valid.
YES ALL OF THIS, sorry i didn’t answer this when it was all happening. but askdkjfas thank you for this message, I LOVE YOU TOO, SO MUCH <333 and i’m glad you feel comfortable enough to voice this in my inbox. yes every trans person is valid no matter what they decide to do with their bodies <3
One of those old hot topic shirts that said " if Darryl dies we riot " but with santi instead of Darryl.
OMG LMAOOOOO NOW THAT’S A CONCEPT who’s making these i want one
your use of references and reaction pics and gifs fucken KILLS ME
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Crystal anon here. I googled around my area to find there are none of those y'know, crystal, candle, incense, magic type shops. I have panic attacks when I go outside and I wanted to look into alternative stuff since I'm on meds and w/e. I wanted to know if you or friends had any experience or recommendations for buying crystals online like on etsy or amazon. How can you tell if they're real?x
ooooh ok. usually there are shops like those in cities or even in towns with like kitschy little promenades with independent shops. (i know there’s one around the town over from mine, which is so random lmao) i do have friends that have crystals but i think they mostly just collect them for the ~good vibez~ and don’t really look too far into the healing aspects of them. i would say first go with the one that coincides with your birth because those are the ones that are like specifically catered to you and strengthen your being. as for buying online, hmmmmm i mean i don’t really know any specific trustworthy sellers because i don’t have much experience with this, but definitely read the reviews! those will help you a lot <3
Hello could you please tell us how you edited the pic of rooney in that one post that the anon asked for the unedited version?
i honestly didn’t do much of anything that differs from my usual editing process! i made her eyes a bit bigger by using the clone tool, cloning the top of her eye and applying it a little bit farther up...if that makes sense. it’s hard to explain how to use that tool lmao. and i think i used the liquify tool to bring part of her eyebrow down to look more worried.
there's still a part of me that says she ain't dead and molly is just in a coma lmao end mE
OMFLDKGKJS yeah she’s not dead surprise. i WILL say there is still flashback stuff that will be revealed. well not “revealed” like molly’s death was revealed, like i just still have to showcase some things that happened afterward. because it doesn’t just end with molly’s death, there’s stuff after that as well :~}
I'm Mexican, have lived around Mexicans, have been to Mexico multiple times growing up, just came back from a family trip at practically the border between Mexico and Guatemala and never in my life have I ever heard the word "joder" i had to look it up xD (not hating or anything I just thought I'd mention it cuz I found it funny...lol) k bye...
OK NOT SURE IF the ppl you’ve been around just don’t curse or whatever but...joder is DEFINITELY something i’ve heard mexican people say before lmao
Okay so this is random, but i was telling my sister the name of one your characters in ur story (santi) and she kinda just starts singing his name, and she said "santi high, santi low, santi go." And im just sitting there, like woah.
LMFAO WHATKNJDSKJGD “woah” same
u gonna incorporate fis hat into a really like emotional sad thing in her story huh
oMG i wasn’t planning on it but hmm 🤔
Why no el chingo? NO ME GUSTA (I'm joking btw ily)
LMFAOOOO because i didn’t wanna have to defile my son by downloading the penis mod RIP
let santi grow out dem eyebrows 2kforever
omg he does let them grow out except for the little line he shaved in when he was 14 that never grew back RIP
in ur bio it says "kt" and i know why,, it means killing them as in killing off ur characters slowly i see u gurl
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i bet this story was just an excuse for you to see the world burn. well done.
OMG i mean, that was definitely one of the side effects of it all. but really it was just that i NEEDED to get this story out after it had lived in my brain for so long.
ur dead 2 me
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I... just.... can't... too much pain Y U DO DIS 2 UZ?!?!!!
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Jimmy & Janis
Planning a romantic weekend away
Jimmy: Gracie came at me earlier. There was mistletoe up and I near fully hit the floor 😎 Jimmy: Hold fire though. She only wanted to tell me to convince you of summat. Pretty sure you already know what it is Janis: Erm...Father Christmas is really real? That her weave isn't from dead Brazilian hookers? Janis: Enlighten me or I'll tell her she's got a holiday free pass on you 😈 Jimmy: Double date. Need I say more 😡 Janis: FUCK. I DIDN'T THINK IT'D ACTUALLY HAPPEN. Janis: How far does she expect the season of goodwill to extend, like? Already got some poor cunt being a charitable home for her arse so she don't freeze Janis: Single tear. Janis: Question is, can we make it worth it enough for us to endure that shite? Hmm Jimmy: I almost got my arse to church so it wouldn't. Shoulda sucked off that priest when he asked. Too late? Jimmy: You better get me a top notch pressie, baby 😏 Janis: You know you ain't on the nice list 😉 Janis: So, Santa might be dissing but you'll be getting something extra special from me Janis: As for God, and his holly jolly perverted following, I reckon we're both shit out of 🍀 there, no matter how good our head game is, such is life Janis: Grah, I hear she does shoutouts now...want that 'influencer' clout, baby? Not double entendre my end but might be for GracieGuru 🙊😂 Jimmy: what the fuck we going to do then? No way I'm hanging with her and her latest 'boo boy' Jimmy: Even if I was getting paid, which is likely since she just loves common grounds Janis: Preaching to the choir, dickhead, ain't my idea of a good time either, or hers let's be fucking real. She just wants to dry-hump a slab of boy in front of you on the off chance that really gets you going for her Janis: You wouldn't call her brainy, bless Janis: Idk, don't worry about it, Jim. Just avoid her/the flat whites like the plague and I'll have to literally run away like I'm an angsty 12 year old so we can't be located, even with friend finder or whatever they stalk each other with Janis: Oooh! Just call me brains, we should pretend to have a romantic weekend away planned, that'll send her over the edge, that is her everything goals Janis: Like I said, I can hide from a hoe Jimmy: I knew there was a reason I kept you about Jimmy: Let's do it though. Easier to take than fake the 'gram Jimmy: Any ideas? 🤔 Jimmy: Most of my boltholes are far from yours and not very enviable for that crowd #it'sgrimupnorth Janis: Yeah, why do you tbh? Janis: Now its clear my sister has got no respect for anyone on her hunt for dick/self-esteem Janis: She's hoping its a twofer like Janis: I don't know if I can stand you for that long, darling Janis: But I SUPPOSE your the lesser of two evils here 😉 Jimmy: It's love 💕 Jimmy: Come on, it'll be a laff. I'll get the beers in Jimmy: You can try harder to beat me at darts and pool Janis: As far as the adoring fans/salty haterz are concerned Janis: and that's all that matters Janis: bitch i don't have to try! 😤 you put me off last time with ur mooning 😍 Janis: we don't need to convince the old fellas in the boozer Jimmy: Fuck off I was getting practice in! Jimmy: If you're ready to fake a break up say the word but until then, it takes a lot of work to give you the puppy dog eyes. I'm not Twix Janis: Sure you was 😂 Janis: N'awwh but you do it so well! Janis: Audition for the School play whilst ur at it, soft lad Jimmy: I do enough fake snogging without signing myself up for that bollocks Jimmy: You coming away with me then or not? Jimmy: You know your sister'll be in again nagging before shift's end Janis: Well, when you put it like that Janis: 😒 Janis: I ain't got nothing better to do, and I certainly ain't third wheeling her fake date Janis: My grandparents got a place down skerries Janis: we can crash there Jimmy: How many rooms they got? My dad's working so I'll have to bring the ramble with Jimmy: #goals I know Janis: Fucking hell, my pissing sister! She owes you more than she's spending on coffee for the hassle she's causing Janis: If you really can't, don't worry, I'll sort her. She'll be unbearable when she finds out it was all for a laugh but it was at her expense so how much of a mug can she actually make me feel? 😑 Janis: That said, there's 3 rooms, its only a caravan don't get excited but the kids would probably be buzzin', it is pretty nice down there Janis: I'll even let you have the double bed to yourself Janis: ol Janis: l Jimmy: It'll stop them nagging me about going somewhere other than the park that'll do me Jimmy: Cass talks big but she isn't even really so doable Jimmy: Don't be getting any ideas though 😍😉 my brother hasn't slept well since we moved. I'll be sharing that double like it or not Jimmy: What a way to spend my first proper time off since I started #blessed Janis: Yeah, fish and chips on the beach even tho its fucking baltic, chasing Twix will keep 'em warm, you'll earn major big brother points as well as bae ones Janis: What a mighty fine man Janis: Same here, Cass. Shh about it though Janis: Like you said, it'll be a laugh, we can make it one Janis: You'd really rather be making pinkity drinkidies or whatever the fuck they are? Jimmy: Nope. But your 1st romantic break usually is. Any talent there is in all grans playing bingo? Jimmy: Be nice to get something off the 'gram 💋 Janis: I ain't been since I was about 9 Janis: I wasn't after bitches then and I ain't now Janis: I wish you luck, 2 kids hanging on your arm and a woman back home, like Janis: Does it for some. Jimmy: I'd do some talking first to get things clear I'm not tall Tammy 😂 Jimmy: Bet you were a right cute kid, weren't you? Aww Janis: Again, have fun explaining that one, mate. I'd struggle with the concept and I'm in on it. Janis: Adorable. What happened? Jimmy: Shut up you know what you look like, mate Janis: A butch lezza? Janis: So I've been told 👍 Jimmy: That's not what they are saying anymore. Check my comments sometime. The lads are gagging for you now Janis: Goody gumdrops. Janis: I'll leave my knickers at the door, like Jimmy: You could like. I've been waiting for you to drop me as your fake bf since this whole thing started Janis: I'm not interested in any of them. Janis: Would your world be set alight by Aaron O'Reilly from form? Janis: If you wanna cop off with some of your fans don't let me stop you Jimmy: You aren't. They're not my type anymore than Aaron's yours. I'm just saying you take a crackin pic and I should know since I'm the one takin 'em. So you don't need to spout that crap. They're just jealous of how much of a butch lezza you aren't Janis: Alright. Well, you're not half bad at taking snaps, and not in the bullshit way every hoe thinks they know their angles and magic lighting these days, you're actually decent. Janis: It don't feel like crap when Janis: blah, meant to delete that, ignore it Jimmy: 🤐 Jimmy: Wanna help me with my art project while we're away then? Kill all the birds (hopefully not with my flash) Jimmy: I'll owe you again Janis: I won't even joke on you for being a swot 🤓🤞 Janis: What've you got planned? Jimmy: I haven't had any time to think yet beyond film being the medium but Jimmy: #workinprogress Jimmy: with a muse like you m'dear how could I go wrong 💕 Janis: 😜 Janis: just so you know, i ain't bringing any homework but put my name or yours, yeah? 😘 not even in art but might count for something Janis: clue me in tho, brainiac, what do the kiddos like? i'll get 'em something Jimmy: Rookie mistake mate, art's an easy A Jimmy: They'll take anything covered in sugar. Can't say I'll love you for it when they crash mid journey though Janis: Only 'cos you're good at it. With my genes I should be but I can barely draw a stickman. Janis: I'll stick with double sports, sports science and science 👌 Janis: I'll keep sweets in stock for bribery, goes without sayin'! Different pocket to Twix' fish treats, though Janis: I'll have a look down town Jimmy: 😂 did you see that article doin the rounds about the mum who bought her kid a cat's advent calendar Janis: 😂 Yes! Shame catnip don't work like on us like it does cats, that kid would be pingin' Janis: Might get meself some, like Jimmy: What gets dogs off their heads? I'll keep Twix well clear Jimmy: She's high enough on your 😍 Janis: I don't know, actually...telling them they're good bois? Janis: Works for you boo 😘 Jimmy: I prefer being called a very bad boy 😎 Janis: You clown 😂 Janis: Good to know, suppose. Dirty weekend away though it ain't Jimmy: what our fans don't know won't break their jealous hearts Jimmy: you coming in for your freebies today or shall I do a delivery your way once Grace is home? 😉 Janis: Kick it really cliche and be my sexy delivery boy Janis: Try and bring something with sausage in so I can come at you with the quality porn writing Jimmy: Live your fantasies as well as your sister's if you want, my name tag says Jonathon today Janis: Ooh, spicing it up with some roleplay like we're middle-aged okay Janis: How boring are you that you've picked a name so similar to your own...this is why we've hit a dry patch, Jimothy! Jimmy: What would you seriously pick? Janis: For you? Janis: Who's a fittie... Janis: Anthony Joshua could get it Janis: You don't want to be in the play but reckon you can stretch to that? Jimmy: Next time I lose my name tag I'll insist on that. For the bae 💕 Jimmy: About as close as I'll get I think Janis: Who do you want? Janis: I wanna know your type Janis: Bar Tall Tammy Jimmy: Your sister obviously Janis: Fuck off, not even funny Janis: If that were true, you know where she lives bitch, I ain't stopping ya, she's practically shoe-horning you in 🤢 Jimmy: I meant the fit older one 😉 Janis: Ohhh Janis: Still, do one 🖕 I'm not pretending to be my sister you freak Jimmy: That's one pretense too far. Got it 😂 Janis: Yeah, in this hypothetical you've really shit the bed, pal. Jimmy: I only half read that because #customers and thought you called me shit in bed mate Janis: well... 😏 Jimmy: I fake rocked your world Janis Cavante! 😂 Janis: you know we faked it so i didn't have to fake it 💅 Jimmy: Aaron O'Reilly's walking through the door want me to slip him your number and end this? 😝 Janis: I will murder you. Janis: also he might think your trying to set up a threeway for YOUR benefit, so if you wanna take over the gay rumours that bad, go for it 💋🍆 Jimmy: I've seen you with a pool cue I think I'm safe Jimmy: Give a shit. At least I actually am butch Janis: Psh, you're all show no grow Janis: We're arm wrestling, then you'll see Jimmy: 💪 I'll beat you at that too then, shall I? 🏆 Janis: Bring it on. I won't make you cry too hard, save face in front of the kiddos. Janis: 'Let' them kick your arse too 😜 Jimmy: Try it, baby girl 😝 Jimmy: Cass probs could no lie. Scrappy af that one Janis: Good girl 👍 Janis: Gotta keep you in check Jimmy: Doubt you'll be calling her that when she's shadowed you all weekend Jimmy: She loves you. Who knows why? Janis: I keep telling you I'm a delight Janis: Has this...how long has it been? Month, 2? Of SHEER BLISS taught you nothing Janis: Ruuuuude. Jimmy: Nope. I'm with Team Bobby. You're a gross meanie Jimmy: As all girls are 😂 Janis: Well I'm winning Bobby 'round this weekend by hook or by crook Janis: then you can please yourself, billy no mates Janis: Team Janis 💪 Jimmy: Every bro knows you can't be friends with your girl Jimmy: DUH Janis: Oh yeah, all straight couples HATE each other and that's #goals Janis: If I can't be chatting shit on you, how will I get to talk about you constantly to my gals? Janis: Singing your praises? I THINK NOT Jimmy: Speaking of, Gracie and co are back on the premise that Tall Tammy left her....something. I wasn't listening. Should I break the news we won't be here for date night or do you want to do the honors Janis: Dignity? That's long gone, honey. Janis: Ooh, lemme do it, you're coming round with the sausage anyway Janis: We can do it together baby Jimmy: awhhh Jimmy: I've hidden the mistletoe but she can see the top of the highest counters!! I'm on borrowed time what do I do? Janis: Headbutt her in the teeth Janis: 'Accidentally' Janis: Can't help being a normal-sized human Jimmy: #customerservice Jimmy: then recommend her our chewy cookies 😂 Janis: You can see why I'm not trying to be your work wifey too, yeah? 😂 Janis: If you can convince any of those girls to break their diet, I'll be impressed Janis: Don't count if they go vom in the bogs after tho Jimmy: Gracie might be on her way already. One of her posse asked what you were getting me for Christmas and I didn't hold back Janis: Oh no, am I about to get slut-shamed? 😲 Janis: Or, heaven forfend, tips Janis: I will die Jimmy: Damn I didn't think of that. Sorry Janis: Its cool Janis: She's all mouth anyway, not in a beneficial to the cause way Janis: Be interesting hearing what she thinks you want, keep ya posted lol Jimmy: 🙌 Can't wait Janis: that's what you're meant to say about my present! Jimmy: I did, swear 🤞 Janis: what do you actually want Jimmy: Don't worry about it Janis: Oh, is it? If I'm not fucking your brains out you're not interested Janis: Fine then, save my reddies. 👍 Jimmy: That's what I was thinking. Stage a break up before 🎄 for max drama and min spends Janis: Cool. If you wanna. Janis: Just don't tell everyone you chucked me 'cos I wouldn't give it up. Already a frigit. Janis: What's the story then? Jimmy: Obviously not. We've been hooking up for ages got to keep it #goals Jimmy: I don't know haven't thought that far ahead it just makes sense to get out before gifting Janis: Yeah. Fair. Janis: Think on and let me know Jimmy: You too. We can brainstorm at the weekend. Nothing but time then Jimmy: Can't break up right after the break though Janis: Would look sus, yeah. Janis: Maybe I'll whup you one too many times, your fragile male ego can't hack it, eh? Jimmy: Grace'd be smug 😩 Jimmy: Can't even fake that, babe Jimmy: Nobody'd believe the story Janis: She's gonna be regardless Janis: I got the shitty end of the stick here like but ain't nowt we can do about it now Janis: 🙄 Jimmy: No we're goals we just burned too bright that's all 😂 Jimmy: You've got way more time served with me than she does any of her boos she doesn't win Janis: Mhmm. Calm down, Icarus. Sure you'll be comparing some other bint on a balcony to the sun in no time. 😘 Janis: Suppose so. Least hers are real, if not short-lived, and, well, shit. Janis: She won't know the difference anyway Jimmy: There's nobody like you 💕 Jimmy: Exactly I'm not going to tell her we weren't real Janis: Bullshit 💕 Janis: True enough, I'll take it. Jimmy: Shit gotta go the boss is back Jimmy: Love you 💕 Janis: Love you too, Jonathon 💕
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badfey · 7 years
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I have a friend with an eating disorder and you seem to know a lot about it. and i don't know anything! so i'm wondering • how do you know so much, do you or a friend have one? • how can i support and help my friend through it. (he also has anxiety and depression so if you have any tips on them you could chuck them in) i know your not a professional but i want to know your personal tips on how you would (or currently do idk) support a friend thank you :))
hi, i myself have been through minor eating problems, but luckily its never spiralled or become a disorder of its own. most of the people im closest to have had EDs, so i do know a lot about supporting them through it. this message is kinda more tailored to EDs, but if u want more advice on the other stuff just shoot another ask bc i have a lot of experience w that too 
 i’ll preface this by saying that just as every person is unique, so will be their relation with their disorder. here are some ways you can help [under the cut because this got long] 
TW: eating disorders, food, self harm, mental illness
getting help: 
if your friend has an eating disorder, they need help. EDs are practically impossible to overcome on your own, and the longer someone goes without treatment, the harder it is to recover. without help, EDs have a very low survival rate 
 if theyre already getting help for anxiety/depression, they should tell the therapist and get help that way. 
 if theyre on a waiting list (or not receiving any help at all) they should tell their gp, and bc of the seriousness of EDs they will be seen faster 
 if theyre not ready to get treatment, you gotta gently but persistently encourage them to get professional help. in some situations, u might have to tell someone on their behalf, but i would say to avoid that or at least do it with open communication so they can still trust u after. denial is a Huge part of EDs, so u have to help them push past that 
 when they first start getting ed help, it will feel like therapists and doctors suddenly dont care about their mental well-being as long as theyre eating. if this is the case, they need to tell their therapist. hopefully their therapist listens, but if not then it could be an idea to carry on ed treatment w them, and see a different person abt the rest 
 recovery only really makes a difference when u stop fighting it. when u stop doing exercises in ur room, when u stop secretly tracking calories, when u stop only pretending to follow your therapy plan 
 supporting them 
 theyre gonna need u as a friend a lot in this time. if you can be someone they can depend on, thats the best thing. however, dont put their needs before ur own: u are just as important too 
talk to them ! like when uve got depression, its easy to want to isolate urself. let me tell u, that gets u nowhere except miserable. just keep talking to them and stuff. sometimes its really important to be able to vent and talk out the big issues. other times its better to talk about light and unimportant things. i think this is the most important one 
validate their struggles. this is v important because even tho u want to show them how life does get better, theyre going through genuine hell right now, so just pointing out that it gets better feels like ur ignoring how bad they have it 
lead by example. do u struggle w body image? ya me too, but im working on it. work on it openly: promoting self love will help u both tremendously 
here is a v good list of things to avoid 
remember tht recovery is long hard and painful, but completely necessary. at the start of getting help, coping becomes really hard bc control gets taken away, and it seems like their entire life starts to revolve around food. it gets easier with time 
recovery blogs r ur best friend!!!!!!!!! for both of u. they offer support and advice and constant insight into how u can be there for ppl, or urself. block thinspo blogs. they can rot.  here are some good recovery blogs
 find out what they like and dislike. and triggers. if they dont like people commenting on what they eat, always move the subject away from that if others start to talk. same w anything that makes them uncomfortable 
encourage recovery. they will probably be constantly cold weak miserable and irrationally guilty, but recovery can change that. sometimes its important to remember just how bad being ill feels in order to keep choosing recovery (same goes for any mental illness)
 things to remember (important for everyone to know, not just those supporting people) 
 an eating disorder is a mental illness, not a body type. any person of any shape can have an ED, they dont have to look a certain way for their struggles to be valid 
 an ED is a mental illness that affects the persons relationship w food. this means there are many different eating disorders, and none of them are more valid than another. not everyone restricts, not everyone purges, not everyone binges 
some people develop food issues as a form of control: when everything else in your life is beyond you, its one thing people can control. until it begins to control them. this is why giving up control to start recovery can be so hard 
for some people it’s body image issues. for some people its control (as said above). for some people its a way to self harm. for lots of people its any combination of the above 
 thats about all ive got right now, hopefully this is what you were after. if you dont feel confident in supporting them, keep asking people for advice. get your own chain of support (u cant support someone well unless u have people u can trust and confide in). follow recovery blogs. theyre honestly the best, and provide a better and more detailed insight than ive been able to. supporting people through things this huge is hard, and ur a good friend for trying.
 its a learning process, and youll get better at it. thats why looking for other peoples advice is so important: it helps u improve. the first time i tried to help someone through an ED, i was 14 and with problems of my own, so i wasnt a good support at all, and i had no idea what to do. you’ll be better than i was (already seeking experienced advice shows this), and as long as you care youll be fine. your friend will be okay too, in time 
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2monstax · 7 years
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so on monday i went to my counselling session n basically she asked me a question abt how my week was n so i told her abt my idk mini meltdowns last tuesday and wednesday but i had kinda gotten out of it but then it turned into a talk abt my habits n basically i put myself into this vicious n ugly cycle of procrastination n stress n just overall ugli feelings bc it’s what works n what’s comfortable OH n i basically have no friends here partly bc of that so yeah i’m not rly mad bc it’s stuff i kinda already knew anyway (when ur alone n isolated/isolating then u have plenty n i mean PLENTY of time to self reflect) but nevertheless it was idk kinda grounding to hear that out loud by someone else so it’s just something i have to consciously n constantly change if i want to get better (by my definition). but it’s also just like,.,.,.,idk if i’ve mentioned this before but going to counselling is what’s made me lose confidence in my self diagnoses (u can bet i felt dumb as hell saying out loud that i diagnosed myself with depression n social anxiety to my counselor) bc rly most of my problems boil down to rly reasonable things that i can fix??? n like i know that with or w/o those mental illnesses it’s still the same types of solutions for everyone bc all that varies is the severity of it i guess but yeah...,,,.now i just feel kinda dumb going to counseling n tbh i rly didn’t want to go on monday nor do i want to go to the next one bc i know this counselor is gonna give me a reasonable, rational plan/solution to help fix most if not all of my problems but there’s also a reason why i don’t tell many ppl anyway,.,.,.bc the people i do tell i trust immensely w that info and/or they experience the same things i do so they know what it’s like n tbh yeah i do have self pity parties often bc i wanna excuse everything on this (possible) mental illness but it’s also just.,,.,.i know rational solutions will help everything but idk it’s kinda like i don’t want to hear that??? bc yeah i don’t do shit but i just want some sympathy n understanding bc guess what??? i’ve never rly gotten that from anyone irl!!! for any situation!!! i guess overall if anything i just want someone to listen,.,,.fully n accepting.,,.bc tbh the reason i went to counselling was bc i was like ok someone’s finally gonna listen to me bc i’m not used to other ppl listening....n tbh i still have yet to tell anyone the full story bc i always edit what i say or i just forget to say everything n even now, i probably forgot a lot but whatever,,..,.yunno it was always one of my “dreams” (idk what to rly call it) to find someone that could listen to me n i could tell my life story to but i’m also unused to talking to someone fully but whatever i’m willing to bear my entire goddamn soul to someone n i wish i had 24/7 assistance or just someone on hold to tell my emotions n thoughts to god i’m so tired of feeling mainly either numb or awful
this is just came to me,,.,.,.i’ve lied so many times abt my feelings it’s not even funny.,,.,god,.,,.even to my counselor i’ve lied several times already bc who the hell wants to talk abt an abusive, love-lacking childhood or emotional instability or a great desperate need for people to just be there or suicidal plans no one that’s who!!!! quite honestly i’ve only told half truths to basically anyone i’ve ever told anything to bc i have a damn complex abt revealing things abt myself too like me @ me u just want to be ruined don’t u???? i put myself into so many bad cycles like literally how have i made it this far as a person??? but yeah anyway i’m gonna finally spill in another Big Ass Ugly Paragraphs bc hopefully no one’s actually reading this but if someone is i’m so sorry ur gonna hear all of this,.,,.but anyway abusive love-lacking childhood.,,..,,.yeah my dad used to hit me over the dumbest stuff like i didn’t go shower right away or i didn’t know what he wanted me to get (his fault though bc he’s always v vague) and one time i really seriously thought i was gonna die n i was maybe in elementary school? but i was in my closet (to find some quiet) n my dad had called me but i didn’t hear bc i also closed my bedoom door so he came storming in grabbing me out the room n he had smacked my head n it nearly collided with the dresser n in that very moment i feared for my damn life n that we had to go out n help w my dad’s job n i rly thought while i was in the car “i can’t cry in front of him when he does this” like??? what kinda child has to grow up that fast bc i realized that crying n begging for forgiveness would give him the response that he wants??? I WAS A DAMN CHILD N I REALIZED SILENCE WAS WHAT WOULD BE DEFIANT EVEN IF I WAS WEAK. n it was either 3rd or 4th grade when i realized that i or any child should not be treated this way...so as the years went by he stopped hitting me (though he still occasionally yells but whatever i’m used to that n can actually stand up for myself now) but he still does it sometimes to my brother n on one hand i’m aggravated bc he hasn’t learned his lesson (my dad n my brother) but at the same time i’m so guilty bc i haven’t talked w my brother abt this stuff n so my brother is defenseless n has a lot of resentment against my dad,..,n tbh i don’t resent him myself n actually found it in myself to somewhat love him (n i guess it’s easier now that i’m not always around him) but again,.,.,.i still can’t trust him n never have been able to.,.,my mom is a much different, softer? case but she wasn’t as bad so i’m not rly gonna go into my shit w my mom bc it’s rly my dad that just,.,,.disrupted my life.,,.tbh,,.,,,.oh he’s also why i am so against hitting n yelling at ur child(ren) n disguising it as “discipline”.,,.,.like someone will rly catch these hands if u lay a harmful hand on ur child in front of me bc honestly ur teaching ur child(ren) to fear u when they don’t do what u want n that’s absolutely sick 
but along to go with that my parents were never rly loving/affectionate either,,.,.like i always thought they’d be fine parents until after the kid(s) weren’t infants anymore,.,.,.bc they have no idea how to deal with growing youths n it shows with my brother n i.,,.,it’s probably why i crave affection so much tbh,..,,.my parents never rly said i love u or hugged us or gave us words of encouragement (outside of bragging abt our grades) or comfort,..,so it’s just that i’ve always known a household full of tension or silence or violence n quite honestly i feel like if u can’t even try to talk with ur kid what’s the point of having one,..,, like i know a language barrier exists in my household but they never tried to bond with me or my brother regardless,..,,i never talked to them either too so i guess that’s partly my fault..,,.but it’s just like.,,.,.i feel like they might’ve regretted being parents once they had me bc i was a “trouble kid” in their eyes but it’s not like i complained to them n didn’t usually throw tantrums.,,,.like hell i didn’t rly cry as a baby.,.,,.i just wanted some leniency n freedom,..,.,but anyway i now lack social skills n would not know how to handle platonic or romantic affection if i got it everyday
but anyway bc of my dad mainly i’ve thought of running away several times n it wasn’t til around late elementary/middle school years where i have thought abt how i’ve wanted to die bc it was getting to the point where i didn’t want to exist anymore n i was so tired of that kind of life n i guess i never realized until i’ve had to reflect on it..,.,,.still don’t particularly want to exist bc life is so damn hard even with my struggles being different that what they used to be but whatever,.,.,.a few of my relatives have tried to like talk w my dad or taken my brother n i out bc they knew he has/had a temper n was rly constrictive but nothing like that has happened at least with me for years now bc i guess my brother’s still in the trouble spot so they’re focused on him,.,,,i rly need to talk with him bc i’ve been meaning to but idk how to bring up anything??? 
anyway, my social life is basically non existent bc i can’t maintain friendships longer than 2/3 years it seems,.,.,.n now the few friends i have left 1) aren’t on campus n 2) don’t talk to me often bc they have their own lives going on n idk how to butt back in w/o feeling like a nuisance they have to deal with.,,., literally how am i still alive it would’ve been best if i’d never been born in the first place like jEEZ!!! n idk how to make friends here, esp now that the first year is almost over n everyone has their groups formed for now n i’m just!!! sitting by my lonesome self bc i’m pathetic!!!! n don’t know how to keep the conversation going!!! bc my interests r pretty singular!!! n i hav a boring life!!!! my love life is worse off bc who the hell would be interested in me like lol that’s a nice joke this ain’t some movie ok no one’s gonna notice a lonely probably angry/intimidating-looking girl n want to talk with her!!!! hardly any one is interested in my life enough to ask n i hardly give out that much info anyway like i’m just a social nuisance oh my goddddd.,,,,.doesn’t stop me from wanting a bf n daydreaming fluffy shit abt it though,,,..,,.btw i’ve mentioned in a tag somewhere that i was questioning my straight status n tbh it’s not like i don’t not like boys anymore like i’m still romantically n sexually attracted to them it’s just,..,.,idk with girls like i’m not blind yall r like?? seriously beautiful?? but i have yet to be able to “see” myself romantically interested in a girl,.,.,.,sexually attracted yeah sure but not romantically.,.,,.idk that’s where i stand n maybe that’ll change later who knows.,,.,.
anyway can someone just erase my existence off this planet like it was nice while it lasted but i’m tired n i want to be a like a ghost or smth so i can still roam the earth w/o anyone irl worrying abt me.,.,.,.,.,,,.oh yeah i’ve recently (since around october maybe?) have had a craving for alcohol when i get in shit moods,..,,.like rn i kinda want some alcohol tbh,.,.,.but i also want to not be in college anymore n not exist in this plane so i guess we all can’t get what we want.,,..,,isn’t it kinda pathetic if kpop is the only thing keeping me alive rn??? like i know sometimes u need “dumb” reasons to live but like i rly can’t base my life around music like i need to live for other things like idk myself but i guess until i’m happy with my life i can’t just yet let go of kpop/music,.,.,,.i rly should tell my parents abt my college dilemma bc if i for serious can’t get tested for depression i might lose it,.,,.,.but it’s gonna be absolutely awful n i’m gonna hate myself if i rly don’t have at least that bc damn i rly am just a bad person n a waste like literally when my counselor told me to name my strengths i could only bring up loyalty n generosity n a good listener bc quite basically everything else abt me is a bad or a double-edged sword ok i’m not bringing much to anyone’s life (ironic then that i want to be a therapist/mental health counselor) like rly i try my best to be kind n encouraging bc i don’t want others to feel like i do but when i get that kind of stuff back (probably bc i said something) i just feel something so off so even if it’s completely unprompted n genuine i won’t believe it anyway n seriously what do ppl see in me that they want to keep including me in their life???? like i rly hate feeling like an obligation or charity case n i know that’s not the case but i feel that way anyone bc i’m not used to ppl caring bc i’m usually the one that listens anyway but i want one person to root for me n be there for me n that’s probably why i want a bf so much bc i feel like they would choose me as one of their top priorities n tbh i might be scared of that but i need it so bad but also i’m so alone n lonely,.,.,.two separate things n each can be bad on their own but both is just cruel but that’s also my fault bc i don’t try to put myself out there anyway,..,.,i feel so damn lonely all the time n i’ve gotten used to it n that’s the sad part bc i don’t think anyone actually wants me n i need that constant attention/affection/assurance but i can’t ask for that bc that’s selfish n childish god i’m rly like an infant i do whatever i’m used to n i want to change but i can’t bring myself to n i self isolate bc i don’t want to bother anyone n consciously keep putting myself into these negative situations/behaviors but quite frankly i’m somewhat lucky that i’m too much of a coward to get into self-destructive behaviors like s*lf-h*rm (god i sound like an asshole saying that) but i’m still a fragile-mind n a big ass whiney baby who complains whenever she doesn’t sleep,.,.,.,.funny how i don’t particularly feel suicidal rn,.,.,.idk i rly am just ranting at this point but yeah i still wanna drop out n get dr*nk bc i’m so tired.,,.why the hell did i have to be born gohhdslfdsljdkfs
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