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batmanego · 2 years

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"At worst it's shipping a serial murder with the father of his victim" yeah that's why it's FUN, they're both fucked in the head and only deserve each other! Bruce knows exactly what he's doing and the drama if/when resurrected Jason finds out has such delicious "lost focus and had a consensual workplace relationship" vibes but with EXPLOSIONS

maybe it's my bubble of fellow "lives have been wrecked by infedelity" fanfic writers but i don't know anyone who actually sees it as healthy or anything but either one-sided or big cheating-on-his-mission-for-Justice vibes. Batman doesn't deserve a healthy relationship because he's ruined his loved ones lives. So he's stuck with the creepy stalker that's obsessed with him. I know like 3 other writers w this viewpoint, not every ship is all UWU, sometimes toxic ships are fun. It's not flattening Bruce, it's adding complexity and inner turmoil, but it also assumes you're working with a view of Bruce most of the fandom doesn't share because everyone loves Batdad, idk. Just tossing in my 2 cents.

I also wrote a whole thing creating Jeannie as a fully fleshed character outside of "Mrs. Napier" so don't say it's something about erasing women, maybe on some subconscious level that I need to work on, but I do try to counter it with fleshing out other female characters. I enjoy Talia & Selina but Bruce is fundamentally a fucked up guy and he rlly only deserves a fucked up ship. Idk.

Thanks for reading this or skimming and deleting it idk im mostly shouting to the void

i went back and forth on whether or not i wanted to respond to this jokingly or seriously or even at all, considering theres So Many Other Things I Could Do With My Limited Time On This Earth, but honestly you as a person seem infuriating in a very specific, Jerking Off On The Page Never Read A Comic Donated To AO3 Harry Potter Fan-type way and im sort of diametrically opposed to you because of this so i will formulate a "brief" response.

putting it out there first and foremost: i really don't care all that much because i'm an adult and i have other fucking shit to do, but comics is an industry that i am both passionate about and want to work in, so i think i'm granted a little bit of bitching about misinterpretation of characters, considering i want to Actually Write Them For A Living at some point.

for starters i notice that you changed what i said about joker from sexual predator to serial murderer. hmmmmmm. could it be that that is a line you realize shouldn't be crossed?

that aside, the reason i bring up jason ties into why your approach (an approach shared by many) to bruce wayne is fundamentally flawed. bruce wayne is a man who had nobody, and then gradually accumulated a network of strong support systems that are more important to him than anything else. i mean that. really, from a character standpoint, bruce died in that alleyway with martha and thomas - everything from there until meeting dick was him going through the motions. living death. but dick changed things! it gave him a person to care about! it gave him responsibilities outside himself! it forced him to be a caretaker! albeit, in the early years, he wasn't a very good one, but he did try.

and we can see that attitude continued in his relationship to jason - when jason dies, bruce changes. i've talked before about how death in the family changed not just batman, but batman comics tonally and thematically, but jason's death really marked a point where bruce closed himself off from people again. all of this reinforces the fact that for bruce, he is fundamentally a man that claims to work alone while actually being surrounded by friends and family.

to bruce, compassion is key. compassion in EVERYTHING. with your family and with your criminals.

you want drama between bruce and jason? their story is already rife with it. literally just read under the red hood and you'll see, nothing there needs to change or have Drama inserted.

also, this comic is really funny and antithetical to your They Belong Together point because bruce explicitly says he fucking hates the joker so much.

and man, i dont even know where to start with this paragraph, it's just so goddamn funny. hey. you know you sound insane, right? you know that? you know you're shooting yourself in the foot? i didn't say a goddamn thing about erasing women. you said that. that's an issue you recognized in yourself. it's not one i won't say is there - i could go on for hours about the discarding of canon female love interests (canonically bisexual female love interests in the case of selina and canonically love interests who are both woc! hmmmm) out of misogyny, but i won't because it seems like you've kinda got that front covered.

and, again, cause i can't say this enough: bruce's friends and family are the most important thing to him and he will always prioritize them. he loves them.

just as an afterthought, framing bruce as "fundamentally fucked up" is kind of weird to do. i mean, i have my problems with framing any hero as "what if they were evil, actually" (the least of which being that i think it's pretty fuckin boring) but this post does a pretty good job of summing up "is bruce wayne really a good guy?" (the answer is yes)

anyway, you want to ship bruce with a sexual abuser who murdered his son and ruined his life? i can't stop you. but i do urge you to think critically about the character decisions you're making there and step outside of your fanfiction echo chamber and into the wonderful world of comics for once. if you need recommendations on where to start for good bruce characterization, i've got plenty.

ps. you want bruce to kiss one of his villains? harvey dent's right there. xoxoxo ferris

#batman meta #good morning all #dc #long post

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after-nine-at-the-oasis · 9 months

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I JUST FINISHED EPISODE EIGHT AND AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!

I LOVED IT SOOOOO MUCH 😭😭😭❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️🥰🥰🥰!!!!

OKAY FIRST OF ALL ISAAACCCCC MY BOYYY 🥰🥰🥰😭❤️❤️. He's been going through it but AAAHHHHH HE GRABBED THE ASEXUAL BOOK!!! I am so proud of him 🥰🥰🥰 though sir did you steal that- anyway he is in fact the most adorable ever and I love him with my whole heart 🥰🥰🥰🥰❤️❤️❤️ <3333 :)) :DD!!! He <33.

TAO AND ELLE ARE SO ADORABLEEE!!!! AND ELLE'S GOING TO LAMBERT :'DDD!!! AND ALSO THEY'RE OFFICIALLY BOYFRIEND AND GIRLFRIEND!!!!!! WHOOOOO :'DDDD 🥳🥳🥳🎉🎊!!! AND WHEN THEY FIRST SAW EACH OTHER FOR PROM 😭😭😭❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ STOP I LOVE THEM SO MUCH 🥰. Also their dancing SLAYED like yes they were holding up the dance floor out there 😌 (I think one of them said something like that to one of them but if not eh I still say it lol). And their pictures 🥰🥰. So cute <3. Also poor Tao trying to read her dad xD. But yeah love them so much <3333.

MY TEACHERSSSS!!!! MY TEACHER BABEYSSSS!!!! MR. AJAYI AND MR. FAROUK :'DDDDD!!!! I LOVE THEM SO MUCH 😭😭😭❤️❤️🥰🥰🥰🥰. ALSO THE SCENE OF THE COUCH (SINGH?) TELLING HIM TO INVITE HIM SLFJGHDKHLS LOVELY. Speaking of though is every teacher at this school gay xD. Like I don't mind it at all but xD- anyway they are in fact THE most adorable <333. Also SO glad they're slightly more functional than our teenagers (though tbh who knows if it's because they're adults) and didn't just go "oh yeah :')" about it being something they shouldn't have done lol. But AAHHHH he invited him out :'D and AAAHHHHHH they're so cute 🥰🥰🥰🥰❤️😭❤️❤️. Good crying, lol <3. I love them your honor :)).

IMOGENNN :OOO??! MY GIRL!! ARE YOU CRUSHING ON SAHAR?? :DDD?? Either way love you girl happy for you over all 🥰🥰🥰. Hope you do find someone if you want though :)) ❤️❤️❤️🥰. Love her <3.

Also I know we barely saw her but Tori always so hard 😌😌😌. As always, lol xD. I love her so much <333. Just- HER <333 🥰🥰❤️😭. Good tears xD :)).

TARA AND DARCY MY BABES 😭😭😭😭❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️. POOR TARA THE WHOLE DAY WAITING FOR DARCY AND WORRYING ABOUT HER 😭😭😭💔❤️. AND POOR DARCY OF COURSE ALONE AND LITERALLY SLEEPING AT A PARK 😭😭😭😭💔💔❤️. But then her finally showing up :')). BUT TARA HAVING GONE TO FIND HER 😭😭😭❤️❤️. I cry because they love each other so much and she wanted to make sure Darcy was okay but also because they missed each other xd. And VJEUANDPK DARCY'S MOMMMM- I AM READY TO KILL AND MAIM THANK YOU <3333. READY TO MURDER HER!! <3333. Poor Darcy 😭❤️. But their conversation :')). I feel so bad for her 😭 honey she LOVES you, no matter what <333. You're going through a lot and I'm sure this new part of your life (for her) is gonna take some getting used to but you love each other and you can always count on each other :')). And AAAHHHHH ALL THOSE "I LOVE YOU"S 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰❤️❤️😭😭❤️. GOOD CRYING DON'T WORRY :'DDD. Y'ALL I LOVE THEM SO MUCH 😭😭😭😭❤️❤️🥰🥰🥰🥰. T h e m <333.

CHARLIE AND NICK ARE MY BABEYS THANK YOU VERY MUCH <33333!!!! AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH I LOVE THEM SO MUCH 🥰🥰🥰😭😭❤️❤️. Good crying :')). AAAHHHHHHHHH NICK LIKE FULLY TOTALLY CAME OUT :'DDDD!!! I LOVE HIM ❤️❤️❤️❤️😭🥰. AND S T O P CHARLIE'S REACTION :'DDDD. Listen I love them all so much <333. All came to my mind for that sentence and it's true so we're rolling with it. But seriously them finally getting to be Out, like do whatever 🥰🥰🥰🥰. I'm so happy for them :')) <33. And then them deciding to leave xDD. Honestly slay lol. At least they went for a bit, that's good enough for me LOL xD.

AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH ALL OF THEM AT THEIR OWN LITTLE PERSONAL PROM :'DDDD!! Like together I mean lol. I LOVE THEM SO MUCH 😭😭❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️🥰🥰. THEY WERE ALL SO CUTE 🥰🥰🥰. And tbh that looks like so much fun :DD. I do wish Tara and Darcy got to have a chance to be at prom together for a little while but eh yaknow :DD. This was so adorable so I'll be fine 🥰🥰 xD. Also AWW all their goodbye hugs 🥰🥰❤️. I love them all so much <333 😭🥰❤️❤️🥰.

Had to put that before the sad stuff lol xD. Now, back to Nick and Charlie 🥰. First of all that rugby camp story is adorable and hilarious 🥰 xD, and my boys are so adorable 🥰🥰. Now xd 😭. Seeing (hearing) more of Charlie's backstory was so good and SO heartbreaking 😭💔❤️. And speaking of, Nick talking to Tao was so sad and so good <333. And the same goes for his talk with Tara - it was leading up to this all episode :') 😭❤️. And it seriously was amazing. Like I haven't mentioned this so far but the ACTING!!! Y'all the acting from everyone, in this entire show (as in always) is AMAZING!! Just stunning, absolutely phenomenal. Anyway, I did know the basics of Charlie's backstory, just stuff I've found out (like form tumblr or tiktok), but seeing it portrayed in the show is just heartbreaking. It's done so well but I just feel so bad for my boy 😭😭😭😭😭😭💔💔❤️❤️❤️. And Nick supporting him <3333. It's just- FLAWLESS 😭, I LOVE THEM <3333!! AND THEN- AAAHHHHHH!!!! ALMOST AN I LOVE YOU!!!! AAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!

Their goodbye :')) stop they're so cute <333. Also I found it fun that they were mismatched, like Charlie looked formal form the bottom half and Nick looked formal for the top half lol xD. Anyway 🥰. I love them so much <33. Also tell me why I was so stressed xD. Like I was like "please don't be a bad cliffhanger please don't be a bad cliffhanger" xD. Out here like "CHARLIE WATCH WHERE YOU'RE GOING PLEASE" XDD. You just can't take any chances lol 😭 xDD. But then AAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!! I knew he wasn't gonna send it especially since I was pretty sure there would be a cliffhanger but still AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! I HAD HOPE XDDD!! STILL THOUGH AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! I LOVE THEM SO MUCH 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰😭😭❤️❤️❤️🥰🥰🥰!!! I'M NOT OKAY <3333.

I seriously loved this episode, and this entire season, SO much :'))). I'm sure I'll have more to say so I'll either edit this or make more posts lol, but right now, I'm just so happy <333. It was so good, I loved it so much :)). Also, I managed to watch the entire show in less than 12 hours, which included doing several other things xDD. So, slay for me lol XD.

Oh, and as I joked to my mom, THE COUPLES!! ALL THE COUPLES!! SO MANY COUPLES LOL!! And even just relationship plots like with Isaac xD! I love them all though don't get me wrong lol <333. I was just post episode 6 talking to my mom like "and then even the TEACHERS got together" XDD. I love them all, seriously <3333 🥰🥰🥰❤️❤️.

What an amazing episode, and an amazing season :). They all had such great growth, and I loved everyone's individual storylines :')). Heartstopper is just genuinely such a beautiful story - or like, a billion (okay like a dozen lol) beautiful stories wrapped up in one :')). It's so crazy to me that this can exist, that I get to see something this beautiful and sweet and silly and queer :'D. I love it so much, and I'm so grateful <333.

Thank you so much to the cast and creators, y'all rock :)). It's amazing, congratulations and spectacular job 🥰🥰🥰❤️.

I love this show so much y'all :'D.

AH okay :')). It's just past midnight and I wanna go reblog some posts lol, so I'll finish this up :D.

AND THAT'S THE END OF HEARTSTOPPER SEASON 2!!! SEE Y'ALL NEXT TIME :'D 🥳🥳🥳🥳🥰🥰❤️!!!!!

#heartstopper #oasis's heartstopper chatter #heartstopper spoilers #you will also see me in about two minutes when I reblog some heartstopper posts lol #also I will be committing fraud later and changing the date of this to third because goshdarnit I basically finished it (this) yesterday lol #and I wanna have it and my first few reblogs day of okay xD #anyway #I loved this show so much 🥰🥰🥰❤️#so excited for whatever comes next :D #and I really do need to get around to reading the books lol #despite the pain xD #but anyway :)#MY BABEYS ❤️❤️❤️🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰 <33 #ALL 🥰🥰❤️❤️❤️❤️!!!#LOVELY THANK YOU VERY MUCH :DDDD 🥰🥰🥰 :'DD <3333!!#also I think I forgot to say it in any of my end of/post episode posts but I love tao's mom SO MUCH #with my entire heart #with my entire soul #WITH ALL MY LOVE #I love her so much xDD #I just adore her <33 #and also she is such a mood lol slfkghdjkflks #anyway xDD #this has been so fun and such a great journey 🥰🥰🥰#now - I'm off!!!#time to go reblog a few posts before going to freak out about them some more and probaly watch youtube videos or tikok or read fanfic lol :D #about them of course xD #mainly because let's be real I get distracted lol #I love you all :DDD ❤️❤️❤️❤️!!!!#byeeee :))) 🥰🥰🥰🥰 <333!!!!

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gxlden-angels · 11 months

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Shiny Happy People Thoughts: Episode 3

TW: The Duggars Family

- This one focuses more on the actual abuse and some of the victims that came forward to speak

- Part of it is about how the show allowed things to continue and was used as a source of control

- Part of it is about how Gothard and IBLP as a whole allowed for abuse to run rampant in these circles

- I'm so glad I didn't have to deal with courtships and arranged marriages. I was not very interested in dating through middle/high school, so most of my conversations surrounding relationships for me were hypotheticals and "Do you have a bf yet? A crush? A guy we can question and screen first?" and not "Do you want to be in a courtship with this other teen we selected then get married a year later?"

- I have family that still gets shit on for having kids out of wedlock or getting divorced

- I can't imagine having to deal with that *and* having it broadcasted on national TV for thousands to watch you awkwardly agree to get married

- Chaperones luckily also weren't a thing for my family after a certain age. You're assumed responsible for yourself and if you don't obey ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ guess you'll have to answer to god

- HOLY SHIT SHE HAD A BABY IN THE BATHROOM?

- This episode is called Under Authority

- My dad did expect me to be under his authority until I was 18. He did expect me to do what he said, but he was reasonable and honestly took feedback more than other adults in my family

- I did have uncles that insisted I was under my father, then husband's authority and I shouldn't have left my dad's house until I was married or living with other family that could watch me. One uncle even said SA victims are at fault for not being under their father's watch.

- I was never a part of IBLP or their groups. We had groups, trainings, VBS and ministries, but never anything as intense of these. I mostly remember the youth teacher who said if your parents threaten to beat the hell out of you that's a good thing because they're beating a demonic spirit out of you and the girls' group pastor who told us oral causes acne

- HOLY SHIT THE TAMPONS THING

- I didn't have the exact same experience but was told I couldn't even use the extra small teen tampons because I "wasn't ready yet" and I was too scared to ever try. It's wild how little things like that stay rooted in your brain

- "So they took my devil sticks"

- "Shame was a tool that really kept all of us in line"

- The IBLP training centers remind me a lot of the stories from troubled youth camps. Abused children often lash out. They can feel that this stuff is wrong, but they get punished for reacting and that's how all of this stuff functions. It's all "breaking their will"

- You do a bad thing so you get spanked and you cry or try to defend yourself and that just leads to more spankings or worse

- David Fucking Green. I should've known he was connected to them.

- I knew a lot of cops grew up with these ideas, but didn't realize they literally went to police academies and prisons and places like that. They insist that the voice of authority itself should lead to compliance when that's not how things work.

- A kid will cry when spanked. They are afraid. A person will struggle if you hold them down. They are afraid. A person will panic when threatened with violence. They are afraid

- It's essentially training a person to be in a constant state of freeze or fawn. I used to stay in a constant state of flight or fawn. I either hid or fawned to authority

- I understand that appealing to their rigid authority means the show can keep going and TLC keeps making money, but holy shit did TLC enable serious financial abuse

- I know this isn't the first time, but I didn't realize Jill never saw a cent. I assumed they were given a small allowance or just enough money for what they needed like children

- This episode explains Gothard and his brother's widespread and rampant sexual abuse. If you do watch the series, this section is terrible to sit through

- I talked before about keeping drama in the family, but this episode really goes into it and how both IBLP and TLC did that.

- The victims got to speak about it and the line of thinking that lead to this. It's a cult. It's all brainwashing and these parents are convinced it's the easiest way to keep their kids safe. They're convinced the world is after them as christians and they will be killed for it if you don't raise them this way

- "Blonde girls get picked" reminded me of just how little autonomy I and a lot of these girls had even over our hair. When I got my first haircut, it was by a lady who went to our church and she called my dad to make sure he approved before she'd touch my hair because she didn't believe me when I said he said I was old enough to be in charge of my own hair now

- The women were not allowed to speak out and even if they did, they had no words to do it. You don't have autonomy, you're an extension of your father. I've heard horror stories of my aunts and great aunts thinking hold hands would get you pregnant or that they were dying when they had their period

- I fortunately never experienced any overt sexual abuse like in this documentary

- I'd also seen the law of crying out mentioned by others, but never explicitly heard/saw it myself. It was implied by the idea that you're under your father's authority and watch so if you're where you're supposed to be, you'd cry out and he'd rescue you, but never said explicitly

- The entire section about Recovering Grace is hard to say anything about. It also talks about the parallel between Bil Gothard and Josh Duggar as a large and small scale version of each other. It is why there is a trigger warning

- "It's been shined up and put on TLC"

- Families like the Duggars are everywhere in the US, they just aren't on TV

- This episode introduces Josh's more recent crimes and more current fundamentalist influencers like Paul and Morgan

- The next episode is apparently behind a paywall >:( what da fuck

#SHP Thoughts #I don't think there's much to say about this episode that I haven't said #well there's a lot to say but it's #A Lot #Too Much in fact #ex christian #religious trauma #child abuse tw

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corvuscorona · 2 years

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reminds me of the post(s?) I've seen this pride month abt "boy" vs "man" and "girl" vs "woman" being distinct genders & some people vibing okay with their agab until society goes "now you're the adult version of it" which rings pretty true as a concept..

like FOR ME "girl" mostly was "child" and that was fine; I was extremely very enabled to be a little goblin kid and do whatever the fuck so I didn't have to THINK about it but it would be HARD to really effectively steel someone for the barrage of endless dumb bullshit they can expect to be assaulted with re: the Adult Version of whatever their Child Gender is, yk.

"woman" was either "women like on tv or whatever" (obviously worthless to me) or "wombyn like people who are taking the whole thing entirely too seriously" or "women as in ascended girls as in my aunt who did the GIRL POWER!! thing at me despite my thing mostly being anime & goblin activities because I guess her having sons & her brother having a daughter meant she was gonna do that at me no matter what I was actually like" or MAYBE WORST OF ALL "young women" as in what people called me when they were telling me all about the responsibilities I was so totally ready to have and DEFINITELY UNDERSTOOD literally ANYTHING about. yes I am PREPARED to live in your SOCIETY. I understand ALL the words coming out of your mouth and will be doing things like "major in computer science" with great intentionality and awareness of my surroundings and NO adhd at all. thanks. thank you.

for me like ME PERSONALLY this disconnect was very easily gotten over by going "wait a second. women can do whatever the hell they want actually" not that this wasn't a moment that came after some scrabbling around in the mud with myself or whatever but I mean honestly. once you really commit to "lesbian" the whole "woman means AT THE MINIMUM whatever the fuck I say it does" thing is kind of small potatoes even when you have to be your own godforsaken role model for the most part. but. presumably many people who simply said "no thank you" to binary gender instead, or did whatever other thing, are coming from the same sort of general trajectory. noticing the disconnect and feeling that there's no particular reason you shouldn't do SOMETHING about it; you're already Weird (tm) or what have you.

much in common with the "am I asexual maybe? no WAIT I'm just the fucking JOKER because living in this world without having eight hundred million hangups about sex and attraction is ACTUALLY IMPOSSIBLE even for people whose BRAINS WORK" thing. there are asexual people who did not have this conversation with themselves & there are allosexual people who make conscious decisions to work on their relationship with sex without ever once considering the asexual label. there are also PRESUMABLY other people who stood at this particular fork in the road and had to sort of consider their shit for a minute like me.

spend your entire childhood Knowing (tm) that there are things about you that SEEM VERY SIGNIFICANT that 99% of the people you encounter STRAIGHT UP do not understand even a little bit & you just, you learn to look at Constructs with your eyes unfocused and just kind of take whatever you want from them and leave the rest. it's not like anyone is going to EXPLAIN any of this to you; you may as well be the expert; who cares. if any weird kids want to grow up into women (Me Edition) I'll stand here and model behaviors for them. I'm the expert now and my expert advice is that you can do whatever you want. about everything. forever. happy pride lol

#readmore because since when do i post this many paragraphs at once about anything except music. nobody follows me for this #nobody follows me for that either but i feel more strongly about inflicting my opinions about it on strangers

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trans-xianxian · 3 years

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every day that I get older the less and less I care about high school aus

#I literally graduated a year ago but its like.... why would I be invested in the romantic life of a 17 year old even if they are fictional #like why would I care #it just feels weird like.... thats a baby bro #like thats a child #n I used to think hs aus were so cute like.. no put them in college what #anyway I keep finding myself scrolling past fics like ew wtf why are they in high school ajgsnxjskzbjxb #nothing against high schoolers my heart goes out to yall #but as a whole adult I'm not interested in turning adult characters into teenagers and then putting them in romantic situations #and honestly if you're also a whole adult you shouldn't want to do it either #I don't think theres inherently Wrong w an adult being like these two high school aged characters would be sweet together :^)#like it can definitely made very weird and creepy but I don't think the concept of that is inherently flawed #but an adult turning two characters Who Are Already Adults INTO teenagers and then putting them in romantic situations?#yeah that just leaves a bad taste in my mouth #like modern settings that Aren't high school exist #anyway these tags took and unexpectedly serious turn #ghost posts #text #not mdzs

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sshannonauthor · 2 years

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Sorry if this is too personal and PLEASE feel free to ignore: I saw that you are (and plan to be) intentionally single and childless, and I was wondering if those decisions are related or not. And if not, why do you not want children (if you don’t mind my asking)? I’ve been struggling with both feeling like I want to have biological children, but also that there are plenty of existing children who are in need of a loving parent - it feels selfish to bring a new child into the world.

It's okay – I actually don't mind having the opportunity to chat about this, as I think being both child-free and single by choice is something that should be far more normalised and unchallenged than it is, and we won't get to that point unless we talk about it. But I do appreciate your sensitive and considerate approach.

I accepted that I didn't want children at some point in my early twenties, and at 30, my mind is unchanged. If a relationship happens, it happens – but I've no intention of searching for it, and I'm honestly not sure I have the bandwidth, at this point. I am just not interested or invested enough in the idea to spend any time on dating. I am, and have always been, perfectly content in my own company. I do sometimes wonder if I might have been more comfortable with the idea had I recognised and accepted earlier that I was sapphic, and hadn't spent my formative years within a very heteronormative religious framework, but sadly, that's something I'll never know.

The two decisions, to be child-free and single, do have some overlap. I won't go into every complex reason, because it would take ages, but a big one is that that I am very protective of my time and space. It is vital to my creativity. I do not believe I would cope with having a small child – or a grown adult, for that matter – around me, in my personal space, for years on end. The idea of being a parent, responsible for the life and wellbeing of a whole other person, also terrifies me on some fundamental level. I think I'd be so scared of messing up, constantly.

I suppose I am also what some people would describe as selfish, if selfish means that I want to live life on my own terms, as much as possible. I just have no desire to dedicate 20+ years of my life to raising someone. Helping my parents raise my little brother was fun, and it was also more than enough. If I had a child of my own, I would want them to feel wanted and loved for every moment of their life, and that takes a real, solid commitment to parenthood. I don't think I'm capable of that commitment.

I also don't want to give birth. I had to do a lot of pregnancy research for my latest book, and it had the dual effect of filling me with incredible admiration and awe for those who do it – warriors, all – and convincing me that I would not weather that experience well myself.

Unfortunately, some people will call you selfish, whatever you do. If you don't have any kids, you're selfish. If you have one kid, you're selfish to not have another. If you have a biological kid, you're selfish for not adopting. If you adopt a kid, you're selfish for not helping the human race to be fruitful and increase in number. You'll never make everyone happy – so focus on making you happy. Having a child or not, biological or adopted, is a very personal decision, and you shouldn't feel judged for it either way. These are just a few thoughts from my perspective, as someone who seems to have taken the road less travelled.

#sshannonauthor life asks

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bruhbrosworld · 2 years

Text

Enemies To Lovers

Allison Hargreeves x GN! Reader

this was a request from @emobensgf2

TW: Mentions of knives and violence

-oh boy.

-it all starts in the acting industry, as most hateful relationships between people do

-you're vibrant, a titan in the celebrity life, and so broadly strung out for your talent

-and allison coincidentally is too

-she's new, she's drop dead gorgeous, and everything comes easily to her

-you can't help but feel a little jealous

-but when you meet her at an audition, which admittedly isn't the best place to meet, you hope the interaction clears the air in your mind

-after all, even if she is everything you wish you could be, she also seems kind and lovely to all around her

-and she is! when you meet you can't possibly imagine a more perfect person, which is albeit a little frustrating, but also incredibly relieving at the same time

-she compliments your looks, praises your previous work, and you do the same

-but it was premature

-one night, at an award ceremony, it all goes to shit

-you're sitting at a table with other people like you, glamorous and enviable stars, and allison is at the same table, which you feel a little excited by

-a beautiful, statuesque woman sitting beside you is always a gift

-it's fun, it's light, you all get drunk and playfully and familiarly jest at one another, happy for the reprieve from the perfected projection of each of your lives

-she touches your arm once while she laughs at your joke and your heart jumps through your ribcage

-but somehow, one wise-crack became too many, and someone dangerously wondered who was more deserving of the role

-you or allison?

-it's awkward, and while it begins jokingly as each of you tries to brush it off, allison slips up by saying that while she could see your prowess and talent, she believed she could embody the role better

-it takes you aback, but you try to remain cordial

-yet as you make way to defend your claim to the role, all of it falls apart

-what started off playful becomes something childish and petty as each of you swiftly and rampantly list reasons why you should have the role, and eventually why the other shouldn't

-it gets viciously personal as the rounds go on, and by the time it ends, neither one of you can remember who made it that way, and how it began

- it ends, believe it or not, with a foodfight

-she says something about you not being talented enough for the role, and you bite back

-you make mistake of making a jab a little too personal, something about her past or her powers

-allison throws her drink in your face

-you can feel the humiliation paint your features, and some part of you wonders if you deserved it if someone as nice as allison took the time to do something like this to you

-but another part of you boils, rages

-there is another, more puzzling thought that comes to mind

-you somewhat enjoyed her being mean to you, but the thought is abruptly devoured by the rest

-she then, of course, sharply wonders if you had enjoyed bed-hopping throughout hollywood to could climb your way to the top

-you end up throwing mashed potatoes at her face, which now you can see was not a very adult reaction, but it's almost completely instinctual as it happens

-you're both escorted out with various consumables dripping and hanging from your bodies soon after

-and there's no need to wonder, it's def in the tabloids and a story in every news outlet the next day

-it's war from then on.

-neither one of you are outright rude. no, that would be unbecoming.

-when reporters and paparrazi bombard both of you with questions about the incident, it goes with no comment from either of you.

-honestly, you both have regret and want to quickly, and quietly forget the whole scene, but another part then remembers what the other said and you can't push down the despise that bubbles up

-the role goes to allison, which angers you so much you're sure there's steam coming out of your ears

-but there are other battles, and when you're invited on talk shows and podcasts, you politely, and subtly, backhandedly congratulate and comment on her work

-she does the same, saying this movie was good but not to her taste, or your outfit did wonders for your face

-she's spreads rumors throughout the acting underground, and so do you

-and every time you both show up to an audition, the room falls deathly silent and the tension thickens to a crescendo

-but, by some sickening miracle, you both are signed on for the same project as romantic interests for one another's characters

-ultimately, a terrible decision by everyone involved but work is work and you won't miss out on a incredible, blockbuster project just because of her

-it's a disaster from day one, she's making sly comments on how unprofessional you are, and you're making polite but pointed remarks on how fake she's coming across

-the romance scenes are awful, practically deathly, because no matter how much you hate her, your heart jumps like the first time when she touches you

-your body alights with something when you have to kiss, and something about the way she tugs your hair and grips your arm feels a little too real for comfort

-when she pulls away, there's something white hot tingling between your bodies as her eyes brandish you with her own bewildered questions

-if you could physically beat yourself up for how your being reacts around her, you would

--there's no food fights like before, but it's a cycle of competition and hate that never ends

-everyday, both of you wake up with the one objective of tearing the other down to be the best

-tbh, you wonder how someone who seems so lovely and kind is the devil incarnate hellbent on ruining your reputation for one drunk night

-and why, why out of everyone, you had decided she was worth all of your time and energy to hate

-why were you so obsessed with her?

-you can't figure it out, you can't let it go

-until one day, you catch her crying in the restroom

-you walk in, jokingly excusing yourself from a conversation into the sounds of muffled cries from a stall in the corner

-you obviously feel horrible for whoever's in there, but you figure they'd rather be left alone than have to endure being asked by someone who probably couldn't understand

-you do your business a few stalls down, and as you bend down to pick up a dropped earring, you look over and everything inside you deflates

-you'd know those exceptionally fashionable heels anywhere

-allison hargreeves is crying a few stalls away from you

-and she more than definitely knows you're a few stalls away from her, too

-you were talking when you walked in, after all

-you expect to feel some sort of cruel pride in the revelation, that she is just as human and messy as you are, that she's not as perfect as she desires to be

-but instead, you just feel a reluctant sympathy for her.

-it's the absolute worst as you feel like your world turns on it's head as you quietly gather your things and step out, more than sure that she didn't want comfort, and that she definitely didn't want comfort from you

-when you do, however, you hear two assistants talking shit about her by a catered table

-any other day, you'd probably smile a little, but today something about you is different

-you walk up, and you watch that sparkle in their eyes brighten, the worshipping sparkle that came to everyone who saw you

-and then, you stomp it out in two seconds

-you scold them openly for talking badly about the crew and the actors, heatedly explaining that actors were people with problems too, and even threatening to have them fired for slanderous rumors

-they apologize profusely, one of them possibly on the verge of tears as they stumble away

-and as you whirl around, feeling somewhat satisfied with your work, you find allison watching, head tilted, eyes rimmed vaguely with red

-it jerks you to a stop

-her eyes bore into yours with a question why, with a fear of you holding this over her head, and you feel the tension and mortification rear it's head back, ready to defend and strike

-but instead of rising to the occasion, you give the most genuine shrug you can manage, one that says "i have no clue what you're talking about"

-something between you diminishes, the reared head seems to put itself to bed for good

-she gives you an puzzled, but somewhat appreciative look, a hesitant thank you

-as she turns on her heel and strides away

-you feel a door unlock between you both, an entirely new feeling

-a begrudging respect blooms, and suddenly, the world around you both shifts

-sure, you still don't like each other, but now there's civility and everybody else feels it

-you let her figure out her acting style without remark, and she doesn't jab at your personality or work

--the crew even watches on in wide-eyed shock when you both eat lunch close to one another once, silent and uncaring, one of you reading a book and the other texting

-the romance scenes go with unsaid words, you both seem to make the same silent agreement to not speak of it

-somewhere in the back of your mind, you can feel that open door between you creaking, the invitation to walk in

-you stay at the threshold

-all of the rumors, all of the nasty jabs die down, and the rest of the project goes out with a smooth finish

-you part ways but not before she can take you aside and genuinely thank you

-both of you are alone in your trailer, and the white hot stinging begins slithering throughout your limbs and stomach as she stiffly sits

-it's weirdly formal as she expresses her strained gratitude, quietly adding that she had been having a tough time

-and, with a final sigh, she relents and admits you're not as bad as she thought you were

-you gape like a suffocating fish, barely managing a "thank you" and a "you, too" as she gives you a small, but true smile

-with that particular and perfect flourish, she's gone

-on the plane ride home, you silently wonder why she was having a hard time in the first place

-three weeks after everything wraps up, you hear word that allison and her husband split

-which is horrible, terrible, awful

-but

-you have to stamp out a strange hopeful flicker inside of you

-but it doesn't ebb away, it stays like an apparent thumbtack in your side as you lie awake at night and dream of her

-you catch yourself looking off into space thinking of her lips, and her style, and everything that has anything to do with her

-it only quiets when you finally see her again at a party

-you don't speak for hours as everyone jokes and drinks, spinning around one another like opposed magnets

-but your eyes are glued to her, and you catch her staring at you more than a few times

-you walk out for some fresh air before everyone eats and when you walk back in, you find her

-unusually, she sits somberly by herself on the stairs as the rest mingle around dinner when you enter

-she watches as you breeze past her, head on her hand and sure you're pouncing on your chance to fill her spot

-but instead, you come back with two drinks and an offer

-it all begins and ends on a porch swing, both of you awkward with your words and unsure of the other's thoughts

-you offer some condolences regarding her split, she congratulates you on a nomination, you ask about her stylist and she compliments your organization

-it's an impasse

-so you decide honesty is best in this situation

-you decide it's your turn to relent

-you say you're sorry for how you've acted

-you explain yourself, but you also admit that there aren't any excuses for how you held yourself

-you tell her you've always envied her, always liked her, always wanted...

-you trail off there

-what did you want?

-the sun has gone down past the horizon and a few stars undress themselves against the dark sky, the wind breathes against your bare legs, and you look up from your thought to meet her melted gaze

-she's looking at you, and this time it looks as though she's truly seeing you

-and she grins, a full-fledge sparkly grin, picture perfect in every way

-you're a goner

-nothing had made sense before, but as your heart leaps into your throat and a throng of butterflies bursts inside of you, you realize a skewed truth

-you wanted her

-the night goes easier with a more subtle heat, as she also apologizes and explains that she had oddly felt the same about you

-she says that she had never wanted to dislike you, never wanted to keep that nasty feud between you going

-she even opens up a little about her marriage, about her life and always feeling insecure about how she made her way into her job

-you're both have somehow seen the worst of one another before anything else, and you find that all that you didn't know ironically is on the same wavelength as the other

-after that, she invites you out to various places, dress shopping, bar-hopping, all and in-between

-you're besties by like the third time you're out together

-literally glamour incarnate when you walk into any place together, style dripping on the floor as she clings to your arm, laughing at your jokes and listening to your interests with genuine intrigue

-you talk for hours as you get your nails done

-she tells you tidbits about her past, divulges her fears about her ex and daughter while you comfort her with a soft hand on her arm

-you've always wondered about the academy and her powers, but you never venture to ask

-besides, you're sure she'll tell you when she's ready

-one night a friend asks if you're dating, and you break out in a sweat at the thought

-oh god, were you dating? was all that hanging out brought with romantic subtext?

-you havent't been acting like it, there hasn't been anything explicitly said, why would people think that?

-no, it couldn't be

-but it lingers again, a thumbtack in your skin, fading but emerging again when she introduces you to her daughter, and then later, the rest of her family

-her daughter, claire, is the sweetest, and she babbles to you for hours about her favorite ice cream and her new toys

-allison catches you coloring with claire once, playfully arguing with her about why dolphins were superior to sharks

-allison never says anything, but she feels something inside of her bloom for you

-her family, on the other hand, is a grab bag of oddities

-it goes well, surprisingly, besides a few intense questions from two of her brothers as one hulks over you with massive height and the other looms with various sharp objects strapped to his body

-there's also a thirteen year old boy with the dialect of a fifty year old history teacher, an eccentric man in a skirt who you find pleasantly delightful despite him for sure being on something, and a short, shy, but lovely woman who greets you with a polite warmth

-they all ask allison if you're dating when you leave, and while she denies it, she wonders herself if what you were doing together was, in fact, dating

-but the moment never comes for either of you to ask, so you continue dancing around one another with unspoken reverence

-but a time comes for everything, and it comes one night not long after

-she's been gone for weeks, on some project in the UK and the thumbtack nags at your side every time you think of her

-it comes late at night while you walk towards your car away from a meet with some friends, deep in thought as you unlock the car

-typically, there would be a broad man in black beside of you, a bodyguard, protecting your every move, but you had sent him away for the night

-sometimes it's nice to go out with supervision, honestly

-but it was evidently a horrible night to choose to be without him, as two hooded men approach you with obviously bad intentions

-soon, you're pinned against your car as they dig through your belongings, talking all the while if you're worth the money

-you'd like to think you are, but you're too frozen with fear to joke about something like that

-when the guy pinning you pulls out a switch blade and slices a threat into your cheek, you tremble

-then, suddenly, his entire weight disappears from your back with one fluid movement

-when you whirl to get your bearings, you stare, wide-eyed as allison, strong and capable, disarms him and throws him against his friend

-you'd always assumed at the back of your mind that she surely had to know some form of martial art due to her being raised in the academy, but getting to see her in action brings the reality into double vision

-then, you watch on, shaking, as she bends down to their hunched and huddled forms, and you hear it

-"i heard a rumor..." slips her teeth, and the rest is a blur

-you watch as the men's eyes glaze over, and they stand sure but lethargically

-they walk away, slow and certain, and allison watches them go with a heaving chest and bloody knuckles

-she's so powerful, perfect in every way even if she can't see it and you burn for her

-you feel that white hot feeling surface and bleed from your skin, desire clutching your every move, and you can lock it inside of yourself no longer

-you claw your way through the wide open door

-you stumble toward her before she can even blink, hands clasping her face with every unsaid ache you hid, and you smash your lips to hers

-you can feel her fumble backwards a bit, but then her arms encircle you with fierce abandon as she moves her tongue in tandem with yours

-it's a need at this point as you make out in the middle of an alley, her grasping you as if you're about to run away from her, and you pressing yourself back with a promise in your bones

-she is not gentle with you, however you would never want her to be. she plants herself on you like an accidental bruise, paints you with her spit and desire in blood and gentleness

-you're afraid and hungry, starving for her but also wary of what may come next

-she may decide this was a mistake, it may just be for the heat of the moment, but you don't care. you can't care when she's holding you like this

-after, when your lips are swollen and she's clinging to you, she leans in with a softer, relenting kiss

-a thank you for the one before, and an oath for more to come after

-her wild glint in her eye simmers still, screaming with a thousand "i love you's" but never saying just that

-and when she asks if you're alright, when she fusses over your cut and the tremor in your frame, you'll know

-whatever comes after, the sleepless nights and delicate balance, you're ready for it all

-there you stand, body knitted against body, in the middle of a dark street

-you finally ask her if you were dating

-and she finally says yes

#the umbrella academy #the umbrella academy headcanons #allison hargreeves #allison hargreeves x reader #allison hargreeves x gender neutral reader #allison hargreeves headcanons #luther hargreeves #klaus hargreeves #vanya hargreeves #she is the loml #im on one knee rn pls

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giorno-plays-piano · 3 years

Text

Vicious

Part VII

Pairing: Steve x reader, Bucky x reader, Thor x reader, Loki x reader, Peter x reader

Warnings: yandere, obsession, stalking, possessiveness, theft, mention of blackmail, all characters are adults.

Words: 1864.

Summary: Transferring to Stark Academy that has only allowed to take in female students last semester, you realize you are just one of three young women among hundreds of students. Your things are constantly being stolen, and soon you begin fearing for your safety.

Part I

Part II

Part III

Part IV

Part V

Part VI

________

You wanted to slap yourself. What the hell was wrong with you today? Why did you tell Peter that?!

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean...” Completely baffled with you behavior, you were deeply ashamed, unable to look the guy in the eyes and wanting nothing but fall into the earth.

“Ah, I got it. It’s Steve, isn’t it?” All of a sudden, Peter let out an irritated sigh, rolling his eyes skywards and rubbing his neck. “Of course, who else would say such nonsense. Blackmail, really? Funny he didn’t call me a stalker or anything.”

“Listen, I didn’t mean it, I’m really-”

“It’s ok.” He closed the locker, slamming its door loudly and making you jump. “It’s not your fault. If I heard that from somebody, I’d be scared too.”

He spent a couple of seconds staring into the wall until he rubbed his neck again tiredly and huffed. It took him less than a minute to regain his composure, and you heard him murmuring, “What a freak.”

He didn't return to the corridor, heading to the sports hall for his PE class, instead moving to the bench in the locker room and motioning you to sit. Feeling terribly awkward, you hoped he wasn't going to do anything out of anger, even though he had every right to be upset at your stupid behavior.

"About what he said," Peter took a deep breath, "it's nothing like that. I don't dig up some nasty stuff in the web to blackmail people. I've never done it. The reason why Mr. I-am-better-than-you said that is because I've made him take me into his little bodyguard group when I heard him talking to Loki. You're nice, and I wanted to help. Of course, Steve started acting like I was some creep, so he refused, and I had to remind him that, technically, he had to report your issue to the administration, not play a hero. I said that if I go and tell the whole story to the dean, Steve's gonna be in trouble because he knew who thieves were and didn't report them."

It was a loud off your mind. Goodness. Rogers called this a blackmail? Really? Just because Peter pushed Steve into taking him into their group?

You were less and less sure Rogers was sane. You definitely had to be careful around him.

"I can't believe he called it a blackmail." You admitted quietly, and the guy sent you a tired smile. "Peter, I'm so, so sorry. It was so stupid of me."

"Nah, don't worry. I'd freak out too if I didn't know the whole story."

You knew your apologies weren't enough, but you hoped Peter didn't take it to heart - if you can take such an accusation easily, that is. Shit, shit, shit, why did you believe everything these guys were saying? You didn't even know them in the first place! Why on Earth did you go asking them their opinions on others if all of them were biased, and every guy could twist the truth the way he liked? You shouldn't have let their words affect you that much.

"Whatever. At least now you know what Rogers is like." Peter sent you a grim smile and got up, picking his bright yellow sackpack from the floor. "Shit, I gotta go if I don't wanna be late. Let's meet in a library later, alright?"

"O-of course." You hurriedly stood up and left the lockers room after him, turning to the library: your Lit class was cancelled, so you decided to go study right away. At this time, the library was usually full, and you felt safe there.

Your thoughts were all about the guys again even when you were staring at your laptop, trying to focus on Excel numbers. Why did you feel like the atmosphere between them was so dense? If they were at such terms with each other, why did they group together to help you? What, because all of them loved you so much? It was ridiculous. There was something else to it, and you didn't know. You had a feeling no one was going to tell you the truth until you figured it all out by yourself.

Weird. It was all so weird. Steve's plan, their behavior, the relationships between them, and your nagging feeling they all were hiding something. Was it them who were actually following you?

The thought scared you to the point you started shivering. Oh shit.

"Hi there," the guy appeared behind your back so suddenly you almost jumped, looking at him wide-eyed, "sorry, did I startle you?"

"H-hi Jake! No, it's ok, I was just... studying." Both of you were talking in hushed voices, knowing the librarian would kick you out immediately if she heard some noise. "How are you?"

"I'm great, how're you?" You could hear concern in his voice: he was one of Thor's friends you met yesterday, and although you spoke briefly, Thor definitely told him more about you. "You look a bit worried."

"Oh, it's Math, I didn't really understand the topic, and we're having an exam on Monday... guess I'll be studying the whole weekend." You gave him your best smile to reassure you were totally ok, and the guy relaxed a little, smiling at you, too.

"I'm sure you'll pass. Thor said you're very smart."

What, he said that to all of them? Was he simply boasting about his girlfriend to his friends or was there something more to it?

"You're too kind. Thank you."

His smile grew wider, and he landed on the next seat to yours, resting his hands on the table. Apparently, there was something he wanted to talk to you about, and you grew uneasy.

"Listen, about these incidents... Thor told us all about it, so if you see any freaks following you around, you can message any of us, and we'll come right away." Looking at his serious expression, his bushy brows furrowed, you hoped he eas being sincere with you: you had enough with people you could no longer trust. "And also... that kid, if he's giving you troubles or anything, just let me know, and I'll tell him to keep his hands to himself"

Oh, he was talking about Peter, wasn't he? He had probably seen that silly photo. Wow, you though, Peter was totally right about Instagram: it was the best news source in the academy.

Thanking him for his concern, you laughed a little, convincing him there was nothing serious except for the theft and promising to tell him if anything weird would be going on. While it should have made you feel safer, in fact, you only grew more frustrated with this situation. You wanted to forget about these freaks and just spend you day like any normal student would, but everywhere you went people were staring at you as if you had a horn; one boyfriend or the other was always close to protect you from some unknown danger, and although you believed they tried to help, you hated the feeling they were hiding something from you. Why did you have to be going through all this? Wasn't it really better to drop off school, spend a year working and then apply to a better place?

Thinking of the faces your parents would make once you returned home, you realized it wasn't. This school with all those creeps wasn't worse than home that never felt like a safe place you wanted to come back to. Besides, all money you saved up until now were only good for buying food and things like that: you'd never afford to rent a decent place unless you found a well-paid job. It meant staying with your parents, and it wouldn't be much better than here, just different. If you wanted to drop off, you had to find a good place to stay.

Well, you could at least try, right?

When Peter met you in the library, the two of you no longer talked about anything important, simply studying together to prepare for the exams next week. It didn't feel off: from time to time you met his gaze, and the both of you smiled. You were thankful he didn’t talk about Steve or other guys or that weirdo in the lockers room.

Once you returned home, you went straight to bed, completely exhausted. Luckily, you did much more than yesterday, so you could rest now, but then you thought of Thor kissing you and bit down the pillow, angry at yourself. Why did you keep thinking of him right now?

______________

When you woke up the next morning, you felt like something was off: your body ached, your throat hurt, and your headache was only making it worse. Dammit, you caught a cold, probably. And that’s when it was finally the day to meet Steve, the guy you thought was a mastermind behind all these manipulations that were making you sick to the core.

Anyway, it’s not like a mere cold would prevent you from doing everything you had planned. You left your bed and went to the bathroom, moving the dresser before again.

Honestly, it felt terrible. It was definitely because of that flimsy dress you wore to school yesterday when the weather was becoming chilly. Argh. Watching your puffy eyes and swollen nose, you sneezed. Today you had to apply way more makeup to look decently.

Steve showed up earlier than either Thor or Peter: you had to skip your breakfast, hoping to buy something cheap in the cafeteria.

“Good morning.” He said with his everyday polite expression that soon shifted into a concerned one. “Are you alright?”

What, was it that bad? You did your absolute best to apply enough makeup and do your hair. Did you still look so sick?

“Good morning. Yes, I’m ok, just feeling a little sleepy.” You yawned on purpose, covering your mouth with your hand, and Steve’s face softened.

“Did you study all night?”

“Yep, exams are driving me a little crazy.”

“I understand. I also stayed late last night.”

Of course, the student council president studying all days long to be number one student in the academy. If you didn’t know of his twisted nature, you’d think he was the most typical nerd.

You spent most of the time either in silence or talking about studies, the academy, and everything related to it. Steve acted like a gentleman and a scholar, albeit a little too demonstratively. Walking with you as if he were a king of the place, he constantly replied to greetings of others, waved to his acquaintances and smiled. You felt so off you wanted to find Loki and walk with him: unlike Steve, he was considered unpleasant by the prevailing majority of students.

“Are you sure you’re going to be alright?” America golden boy asked you for the last time, and you forced yourself to smile.

“Of course. Thanks for coming, see you later, Steve.”

As he finally left you in peace, you almost fell down into your chair, your fever only getting worse despite the fact you took some painkillers. It was going to be a long day.

_________

Tags: @finleyjayne @alexakeyloveloki @helenaeisenhower @villanellevi @hurricanerin @inlovewiththefictionalcharacters @chris-evans-indian-fanfic @navegandoaciegas @rosalynshields @brattycherub @sllooney @angrythingstarlight @lookiamtrying @buckysbunny @stargazingfangirl18 @dillybuggg @literate-lamb @cosicas-cuquis @sarge-barnes-sir @buckybarnesplumwhore @jaysayey @megzdoodle @gotnofucks @lux-ravenwolf @ximebebx @jeremyrennerfanxxxx123 @sourpatchspinster @biiskuitx @stupendouslovegardener @iheartsebandchris @lovelydarkdaydream @soleil-dor @illyrianprincess @vampirestrawberries @goodgodimaweirdperson @frontmanash @freya-heya @yandematic @mariatietacapitu @d3monslust @maybesandohnos @ibeatuptwinks @mangobangi @nectav @whatever-happened-to-the-ducks

#bucky barnes x reader #dark bucky barnes #steve rogers x reader #dark steve rogers #thor x reader #dark thor #loki x reader #dark loki #peter parker x reader #dark peter parker #yandere

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girlmounter · 3 years

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URGENT QUESTION TO ALL MY FOLLOWERS, I NEED YOUR FEEBACK!

Okay so here's the situation. I am asking you all to please please read this through and like, maybe tell me if I made the right decision... because I feel terrible about this. I would love it if someone told me if this is correct or wrong and I should've done something else. I'm not a popular blog, so whoever this post might reach (which is not going to be a lot of people) please please take some time out to read this through. I know it's a really long post, but I really really need your opinion on this. If you don't have the time right now, maybe just reblog it and save it for later. It would also help this post reach more people. Also please check the tags for the trigger warnings.

I have been going to a therapist for about 5 months now. My mom, as you probably know by now, is narcissistic and my dad enables her, along with my mom's parents who we live with. I have no siblings, and I just turned 17. Since we live in Asia, all you desi people know how hard society is on us when we go against our parents, who are supposed to be godly figures.

So all along, my therapist, (for confidentiality's sake we'll call him Sam, 21), has been bent on making me talk to them. I dont know why. I've tried explaining so many times that talking to my mom is not an option because 1) NARCISSISTIC PEOPLE DON'T EVER CHANGE and 2) my mom WILL use all my words against me and twist them into whatever she wants and later bring them up to bring me down. You guys with narcissistic parents know this shit too well.

It's not like I haven't ever even tried talking to them, I have! I've done it so many times, with a calm tone, in the most diplomatic way possible. There were times I tried to get the point across by crying and being desperate too. There were also times where I thought anger might work out.

It never did. It doesn't. It won't, because she is not looking for solutions or for mending the bond between us. All she wants is to infantilize me and keep me under her control forever. Mom and dad both want this. They don't ever want to let me out of their sights. They don't let me out of their sights.

A very long story short, I am supervised 24/7, I don't have much of a phone, I don't have friends, I don't have any family members who would support me, I don't have much of a family either tbh. I am monitored like crazy, gaslighted every single day, lied to, manipulated like hell, and babied to the point where it's just narcissistic infantilization and not concern anymore. To them, I'm a baby when it suits them, and I'm an adult when it suits them better that way. She doesn't care about what I think because apparently I'm a liar and to all those people out there who know the smear campaigning and the flying monkeys and the triangulation....yeah. All of that happens on a regular basis. I know I'm not providing any concrete proof and situations but please believe me. Please believe me. My memory is so shot I can't remember anything and i know it doesn't work out in my favor but please please believe me I'm telling the truth...

I have made three suicide attempts, I used to cut and was very badly addicted to it, and now I don't cut, but yeah I'll be sharing the reason in a little bit. Please hold on, this means a huge deal to me. Please don't scroll past this.

So Sam never really even had a smidge of doubt that my mom might be narcissistic, and I wasn't given the benefit of doubt either. After months of research when I myself figured that it might be narcissism, I told him and he went along with it. He does believe me now. But somehow I don't feel very understood. I dont feel better after I talk to him. I feel like my problems are trivial and that I'm just not working hard enough. I feel misunderstood and I never feel satisfied. I asked him for tips to deal with crushing loneliness and panic attacks and stuff like that, but I never receive real answers. When I asked for help with my suicidal thoughts, he just said that it's never an option and that's it. That's the only answer I got. When I asked for help with cutting, the only answer I got was that if I even tried to cut again, I'd lose him.

Like. Is that really how therapy is supposed to work?

Half of the time we just while time away, talking as if we're friends and I mean, it's a paid session. We're not very financially well off right now, what with the pandemic and everything, and we're paying him 2000 INR a week. It's a lot for us because we ain't exactly rich. That's like 10,000 INR a month.

I try to talk, I'm told that I don't stop talking and don't let him speak. When I don't speak, I'm not speaking enough. I dont feel comfortable anymore in a way that I think I should be with a therapist. I have recieved more helpful advice from actual PhD psychologists who are making videos on dealing with narcissism on YouTube. I feel more understood by them than I ever have with him. So many times I have left the session crying and hours later I'd still be stifling tears. So many times I don't feel heard and I feel like if I told him something he'd be angry. Sometimes he snaps and is like way too straightforward and it just doesn't do well with me. He doesn't support a lot of stuff that I support, like anti body shaming, especially for overweight people and stuff like LGBTQIA+ too, really. I'm mocked in an underhand way if I express that I support stuff that he doesn't really like. It's not straightforward but... I can't shake the feeling.

I do sometimes look forward to the sessions, if only because I'll have someone to talk to...but that's pretty much it. I'm not getting anything out of this. He claims that no one will understand me the way he does, and he keeps comparing my life to his, which I don't like. He says that in a way he and I both very similar and he relates to me and then proceeds to tell me about events in his life. He says that I'm his favorite client and now a good friend too, but I feel like that's not how it should be. And I do make an effort to listen to him tell me stuff about his life but...shouldn't it be the other way round?

Now I'm not saying that he is a bad person. I have loads of my own issues too; severe depression, crippling anxiety, overthinking every freaking thing, I'm like 100% sure I have complex PTSD from this childhood trauma, constant pain everywhere, crazy headaches, flashbacks, nightmares, hallucinations sometimes, and major emotion repression. I'm dealing with a million and one things right now and yes that might be causing me to feel worse about this situation than I should. I admit that I'm not exactly thinking about this in a diplomatic way...but somehow it doesn't feel right, and hence this really long post.

If you're still here, thank you so much. Your reading this is doing something that means a lot to me. Truly.

He exercises a lot, and he gave me a whole schedule to follow with the meals I should eat and the exercise I should do and somehow I never feel like I'm doing enough. If I miss out I can't tell him because he always reprimands me for messing up. I dont feel comfortable about opening up and then he forces me to do that and then when I do I don't feel better.

Lately, we'd been talking about how I need to tell my parents to their face what I feel is wrong with their actions, and how without that happening there's no point to our sessions anymore. Straight up went that if I don't talk to them on this Sunday, then we're not going to have sessions anymore.

I tried explaining to him many times how my mom will never change, how I don't want to enrage them further, how I don't want to give her more information on my life that she can use against me again...but no use.

He insisted over and over again on how she has no idea what she's doing to me, and if we just talked it out, my whole situation will be fine. This is just a huge misunderstanding.

I tried so hard to make him understand that that's not how it works for her, she doesn't want to resolve things and she'll just jump at the first chance she gets to use all my information against me, but no. I tried telling him that I have talked to her before and that I also used to think that if I just told her what they were doing wrong, then they would understand and mend their ways, I mean it took me YEARS to convince myself that it was never gonna happen! I tried it so many times and everytime I fell for this trap and everytime I regretted it but he doesn't get that! At all! That they're never gonna change!

Instead of helping me get over them, instead of telling me how to move on, instead of helping me grieve over my entire childhood... he was forcing me to talk things out with them, because if I didn't tell them I would be keeping it inside me and letting that fester would be bad.

I agree that it's not healthy for me to keep things to myself, which is why I talked to him right? And the things which are troubling me cannot be resolved with them because they refuse to change their ways!

The only thing that would come out of that family discussion is me at a disadvantage and them at an advantage by having all the latest scoop on my life and then have my mom (who is a doctor who has also done a course on CBT) psychoanalyse me even more than she does now. I'd be tailed harder. It will get worse and I know it. I've seen it and I promised myself that I would never make the same mistake of opening up to them honestly ever again. And here Sam wanted me to that very thing.

And I agreed initially, I tried convincing myself that maybe it'll work out and after all, Sam will be defending me and everything (even though he did say he would support them if he found them correct) but I didn't feel good about it. I remembered that a therapist is supposed to make you feel more at ease and let you take your own time to process through things and never force a client to do something if they had doubts about it.

And so I texted him today, and I refused. He said we won't have any more sessions, but I said it's fine. Because I don't want to go to him anymore anyway. I think I would rather have no one to talk to, than have someone belittle my experiences and just overall make me feel worse than I did when I first entered the session.

There's more stuff that was related to this, and if you guys want to know something before making your judgement of this situation, please please please ask me, message me, but please just have a bird's eye view on this whole thing and tell me if I made the right decision...please.

I would really appreciate some feedback right now.

Thank you so,so much for sticking with me till the end of this post. It means the world to me, honestly. I couldn't thank you more.

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thefirsthogokage · 3 years

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Time to Hate-Watch Turner and Hooch, Episode 5

Because I am bored. And I hate myself. Of you aren't ok with me hate-watching and commenting, well then this is not the post you are looking for. Please move along.

Ah, yes, reminder of the love triangle they put in a kids copaganda show for the parents. Again. Because reminder: they did that last week.

Ew, bad shaky camera work.

Oh god she was listening to that music as a personal stake out sound track by choice? Like, why?

"You're all hopped up on juice boxes and I don't like it." I did like that line.

Laura is 5 years old.

I do like the theme song.

You know what also is weird about this supposed kids show? The episodes are nearly 50 minutes long. No kid is going to pay attention to that long of an episode.

So much natural lighting and making Hooch very yellow in some scenes and not others.

I'm probably too tired to watch this tonight.

Honestly that poor girl. Such a big crush on a very oblivious dipshit.

Branden is a fucking gift to this show. Again, I am just so glad he kept acting after Power Rangers SPD. Not many former PRs stay in the business, let alone get steady work. I'm really proud of him!

Rain. This show must be filmed in Vancouver. Actually, I vaguely remember hearing it was shot there. ... (Googles)... Haha

I mean, air cold enough mid-day to see their breath + rain had to = Vancouver. I mean I guess Portland too. But either way, California my ass.

Dreary natural lighting. Classic Vancouver. I can't believe anyone could actually think this would look like California.

Having Laura recognize a lot of people so that they could give her information to make her getting the information super easy is certainly a choice... by writers who don't want to work to hard. Then again, I think this is supposed to be a a family friendly show...kind of. Line, this isn't a straight up specific demographic this is targeted towards. They just have done a few things I absolutely would not put in a kids show this day and age. Like, it honestly so bizarre to watch.

I'm not fond of stories like this. Guy is getting married, all aspects of the case have a relation to weddings. It's just too much happenstance in this episode. And I'm tired, I should have very little ability to notice most of the is shit tonight.

Oh god, this would be so painful if I wasn't so sleepy. Like, what the fuck are you doing, Laura. Well, at least this is showing Lyndsy's versatility and expressiveness. My god this is such a different character then Alex on Nikita.

Tired sidenote, my watermelon is very good.

Laura gets up to leave after getting this woman to hang out with her. The woman has to remind her that she doesn't know where she lives. I liked that.

"Thank you for your never-ending aquatic references." Ok, this show does have some good lines.

(This is honestly like kind of watching Lucifer. I hat the show, but occasionally there are so lines that I really like. Though I did stop watching Lucifer because I just hated it too much. I was only watching it out of boredom.)

I am really glad that they have a Native guest star. It's nice to see more Native rep on shows the past couple years.

Messaging: Kids, you gotta stand up for other kids being bullied because you are just as bad as the bullies if you just stand there. I'm really ok with this messaging. Good job, so that I mostly don't like.

I'm sorry, I'm so tired.

"His name was Jean-Luc-" Me: stares at camera in 'Robert Duncan McNeill directed this episode and is the primary Executive Producer on this show.'

For those of you who don't know, RDM was Tom Paris in Star Trek Voyager and a character who's name I can't remember that he also played on Star Trek TNG.

Fun fact, Tom Paris was initially going to be the same character he played on TNG, but something about rights blah blah blah, made that a no-go.

Sorry, back to me hate-watching while tired.

Oh god there are 21 minutes left.

Why is Laura holding a guinea pig? And why does she have a karaoke machine?

Why is Branden's character having a romantic time with his fiance while on a case? Ugh, the unprofessionalism. Like, aren't they only a two hour drive from home? Why is this happening? Do they think of distance like the British? Or people who live in Saint Louis? (Seriously, in Saint Louis some people think 20 minutes is a long drive. Granted, ten minutes is a long drive for me, but the position I have to sit in to drive really aggravates my Interstitial Cystitis (meaning I have to pee so, so bad the whole time I am in the car)).

I want to take this moment to apologize. I am very sorry about the tangents and the personal health and whatnot. But at this point I'm too tired to go bad and delete things or care about what else I'm going to write, so I'm just going to keep going without my filter on. Of you make it through this whole thing with me, bless you you sweet, sweet, probably bored soul.

🎶Ooo Heaven is a place on earth 🎶

Oh god, so much tomato stuff. All over the bathroom. The very white bathroom. Good luck with that...Scott? Is that our main characters name? Scott? I don't care to look it up at th- yeah it's Scott, Laura just said it.

Uh, shouldn't that have been made of metal? Either way, shitty craftsmanship if the dog could break it that easily.

That can't be how you train a bomb sniffing dog.

No way someone who's been a police officer for a few years wouldn't know that there are drugs on literally every bill.

Again, family show why?

Neither of them thought there would be a back door?

This while thing is insane. Not in anyway that I find entertaining. But I'd probably be more pissed if I it was more conscious. You should probably be reading all of my angry sounding things as just very tired and a bit sedate because of the tiredness.

I'm sorry Branden's character was a soldier in combat and he's never been shot? Unless I'm misremembering. But seriously, he doesn't know what getting shot in the vest fells like.

Oh look, the girlfriend fires at vehicles driving towards her too. In the same episode..I hate when things are related like that. Not upper level writing.

Why was the Secret Service also looking for those people? What? That can't possibly be their preview.

(Before I finished the episode, I discovered that for the second time this week, I did not get to the litter box fast enough (as in since this morning) to prevent my cat from moving the liner enough to pee between it and the box. So, at 11pm I had to go clean that out.)

Like this guy wouldn't know that he was copping to extortion by saying that.

God, why are they making this case the dad was working on (stupid arching plot in a family tv show why? For the adults who can tell this show is bad already?) even more complicated? Like, is this going to get Heroes level stupidly complex? Because that shit killed that show. Ok, so it probably won't be that bad...just the kids show equivalent of that bad.

Oh good for you, girl who's name I never learned! Quit the job with the evil boss! Please let her be OH NATALIE! Once again, thank you Laura for saying the name of the character whose name I wasn't sure of. What was I saying... Of yeah, I hope Natalie comes back and wasn't just on one episode. More native characters on TV please!

Oh wait, am I just realizing the girls in the live triangle were both on Glee, or did I remember that in a previous post? I know they were both on Glee from the moment I saw them in this show, but, like, I somehow didn't realize it was a very mini Glee reunion when they were in the same scene?

Wait, where did Scott wash Hooch if it wasn't in his own place the first time? Where was that bathroom? Wait, unless this isn't the bathroom in him home? I was definitely too tired to watch this. That might be saving me on the anger level, but it's certainly making it a bit difficult to keep track of some stuff.

Oh bad edit/consistency moment with the foam on Scott's face. Always hating to me.

Episode over.

Closing Thoughts: This show is still driving me insane with it's not on point demographic aiming and just silliness that isn't really good-silly, more like bad-silly. Also, I'm tired.

#turner and hooch #turner & hooch #disney plus #riley watches tv #long post #even though it's not that long I'm sure some people still consider it as long

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mochuelovelli · 4 years

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GAAAAHHH OKAY

Let's talk about the Timephoon Episodes

This is such an old topic of discourse but after reading many fanfics, videos, and some posts on the subject I have found little divergent takes on the whole subject.

While commentators are of the mind that, for the most part, the punishment and execution of said punishment for Louie's actions were partially if not fully justified but how she went about it was wrong.

Some fanfic writers and some subsects of the fandom but they are much more critical and often in a more black and white interpretation. Which is valid for vent art. However, I find both these portrayals to be lacking in some nuance.

Specifically when it it comes to who's to blame for the next 3 episodes, and to me, its more than just Della (and Louie but there really isn't much discourse here).

Let's start with Timephoon:

This pretty much solidifies their relationship throughout the episode[Also sorry for no captions]. Multiple times Della is shown to have a very laissez faire style of parenting as she primarily wants her kids to enjoy being kids and having fun. This is probably in part to her personality in general - which is probably what Beakley assumes here - however it is also her want to be loved by her children and even more critically, she doesn't ever want them to suffer like she did. Above all else, she wants them to be happy and feel confident in themselves. We see this in all the previous episode with her and her kids - From Dewey and reassuring him that he doesn't need to prove himself to her [notably in this episode she only shows concern when Dewey himself is in danger, she doesn't give a shit when he almost kills her] to Huey and helping him to have the most fun he possibly can, to even Webby and making sure that she also feels confident in herself regardless in how she goes about things.

Bringing up all these adventures does raise some pretty damning hypocrisy. Della encourage Dewey's reckless behavior in his episode. The lesson at the end wasn't, okay maybe we shouldn't be going on dangerous adventures, it was its okay to be afraid and you don't need to prove to me that you're great I already know you are. Huey's message was similar, albeit more low stakes. Webby's lesson wasn't even that she shouldn't be trying to take such risks to find adventure in the future, it was just a lesson in not being disappointed when things don't work the way you want.

So why wasn't Louie's adventure treated the same? Well... let's look at some more examples of Beakley V Della this episode before we answer that -

This is right before the kids find Bubba, Beakley's reaction is what most people would consider to be parental as she is concerned for the safety of the kids running out in a hurricane. Again we see Della acting casual.

Once Bubba is inside and Huey geeks out about him, Beakley actually smiles bc she knows that something like this means a lot to Huey [keep this in mind for l8r]. She only gets serious after Della says it's neat without much after thought so she gives the lesson of the episode - "Small problems become big problems later if not prevented early."

Next we have Della's faux attempt at being strict with her kids. Letting the irresponsible thing happen as long as they are "safe". While also harkening back to her previous episodes where she also is shown to have this attitude that "the kids can do anything as long as they are safe with ME or Scrooge or another SAFE adult", it is also good to note SCROOGE'S expression here to her patting herself on the back for her parenting. Now he could just be confused as to why Della is taking this "lesson" as a win, but he could be noticing that she really doesn't know what she is doing but unlike Beakley doesn't make any attempts to correct this.

Another scene that people often forget when reviewing this episode, just like with all her other kids she at first takes LOUIE'S side and decides they should just roll with the punches like always. Which honestly is sort if valid because that's kinda Scrooge's whole MO; though he also had others to there to keep him afloat but we all know someone like Scrooge, Della, and the kids hardly see that. I also want to hammer home that, just like with the other boys, she doesn't shy away from displaying that she loves them ALL. A few seconds later, it's subtle but she is shown smiling and patting Louie on the head because like the other kids she just wants him to feel supported. If I was to be critical, I would say this is possibly because she likes the IDEA of her boys more than them but I mean - this is pretty much everyone's attitude towards kids. It might be amplified bc of her trauma but it's not unusual. But even still I would argue that she mainly does love the boys for who they are as she is excited to get to know them.

After Della figures that they are looking for a "master thief", Scrooge and Beakley immediately know it's one of the kids. Shocking her since she later states she is of the belief that her kids are too "good" to do something like this. I also want to bring attention, again, to Beakley smiling (ik im putting a lot of stock into expressions but animation tends to do stuff like this for a reason). She is smiling at whom she expects is Dewey for messing with time and space. Bc even if she planned to scold him, she knows it's just their normal. Scrooge seems to also be of the same mind. Later Beakley gives a really good line about "Even good kids can do dumb things. We got to make sure those dumb things don't turn into bad things like destroying all of existence!".

Mrs. B exists stage right

All jokes aside, this must have been a nightmare for all of them but especially Della. She had just finally admitted that she was out of her depth and made another mistake in parenting. But now it seems like she lost her chance to rectify that. Because for all she knows, Mrs. B will never come back. This is import-ALLRIGHTWEGETIT

Della is then shown explicitly worried about her family. Emotions, insecurities and fear obviously getting the best of her. We don't know exactly what she is thinking but we know she is terrified of the possibility of losing one of her kids. When she asks about Louie, she probably thinks he must have disappeared without her knowing. That she might have already failed more than she could know, because she wasn't there to protect him. She doesn't know - she is "Della Duck" and she doesn't know how to fix this. She didn't expect everything to go so horribly wrong, but that's her theme isn't it?

She is both relieved and understandably PISSED when finding that Louie was responsible for almost destroying the fabric of reality (let me say this again, nearly destroying the fabric of reality). She goes scold both herself and her son about the danger he put them in. Later we see Della, the last one leave and seeing almost everyone she loves vanish. We don't know how long each of the characters who left were in the past but we can assume it was long enough to have to change clothes. Yeah this was probably more of a visual gag but like, the other past characters didn't change their outfits when they came to the present so - (also Launchpad was specific about knowing how the world ends so he had to be there enough for him to understand it). Side note someones gotta write fanfic of these characters time misadventures. I wonder if Dewey and Webby ran into Agent 22.

[Last picture of the infamous scene, side note did anyone notice Launchpad NODDING his head when Della mentioned his time schemes could've cost them their future? He's the only one who knows what happened so maybe Louie's misadventure has more impact than we think-]

Anyways, yeah we know what was said here. But I think it's important to see the reaction the other adults (sorry LP, and Gryo i GUESS) have here BC this is basically why I made this post. What Della decided to do was unquestionably the wrong decision, at least her way of going about it and I will not absolve her of her many MANY mistakes. However, let's remember she wasn't alone in any of this. She was with other parental figures who KNOW more about her kids than she does.

After Louie leaves, why did they think it was good to encourage this course of action? Why did they think giving full parental control to a PTSD, trauma survivor who barely got back less than a month ago was a good idea? Sure it's one thing to not want to overstep your boundaries but are you telling me they wouldn't want to guide her in the right direction at least? We KNOW both Beakley AND Scrooge have their grievences towards Della's parenting strategy or lack there of. Beakley so far doing the most to try and put her in the right direction (which speaks volumes to the problems Scrooge has).

So why wouldn't they explain that, hey, maybe taking away the one thing your kid thinks he is good at ISNT a great idea? Why didn't either say anything about their two day vacation? Something that came up presumingly on a whim and might of prevented (although i doubt it) Louie from trying to steal w/ time? He might have considered pushing back time schemes at least 3 days later. While Mrs. Beakley might be less aware of Louie's insecurities and ambitions, Scrooge definitely isn't. He should have talked to her, and hey we don't see what happens before they leave so maybe MAYBE they did. But again, I doubt it. Seeing as how they all agreed with her at the end, I don't see them trying to meddle with her.

But they should've. They are both experienced guardians and they have nothing to say to her? Plus Donald (goddamn it i almost finished a post w/o him) have THEM responsibility to take care of the kids NOT Della. So they are obligated to help her. Really, the other option other than just well negligence would be not thinking this punishment was a big deal. I wish this aspect was also scrutinized just as much as Della and Louies role in this arc.

Beakley and Scrooge (more so Scrooge) are just as much to blame in what happens as Della if not MORE since they know of her situation in only a way that an experience adult can. There is no excuse for their negligence.

#god this was so long #i just need to rant #i hope im not alone on this feel free to comment or ask me about this crap i dont mind #ducktales #ducktales 2017 #della duck #mrs beakley #scrooge mcduck #dt17 #ducktales timephoon #discourse #i guess #this is misleading this was basically just Timephoon bc u ran out of space so part 2 maybe?

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bobasheebaby · 4 years

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100 Buffy Prompts

I had a lot of fun compiling this list. I was cracking up more than once and now I want to binge Buffy. If there is a show you want let me know because these seriously help me shut of my brain during this covid hell.

1 “NAME, your mouth is open, sound is coming from it. This is never good.” – Buffy Summers

2 “I just want to be alone and quite in a room with a chair and a fireplace and a tea cozy. I don’t even know what a tea cozy is, but I want one.” – Buffy Summers

3 "They were supposed to be my light at the end of the tunnel. I guess they were a train.” – Buffy Summers

4 “I don’t know what’s coming next. But I do know it’s gonna be just like this – hard, painful. But in the end, it’s gonna be us. If we all do our parts, believe it, we’ll be the one’s left standing.” – Buffy Summers

5 “I don’t handle rejection well. Funny, considering all the practice I’ve had, huh?” – Xander Harris

6 "Just because you’re better than us doesn’t mean you can be all superior.” – Xander Harris

7 “I’m leaning towards blind panic myself.” – Rupert Giles

8 “Since the picture you just painted means that I will never touch food of any kind again, you’ll just have to pick it up yourself.” – Rupert Giles

9 "With all the rubbish people keep sticking in my head, it's a wonder that there's room for my brain." – Spike

10 "Oh, I don't know. Looking in the mirror every day and seeing nothing there...it's an overrated pleasure.” – Angel

11 "Passion. It lies in all of us. Sleeping, waiting, and though unwanted, unbidden, it will stir. Open it's jaws, and howl. It speaks to us, guides us. Passion rules us all, and we obey. What other choice do we have?" – Angel

12 "Anyway, for real now, I'm gonna ask you something, and you gotta promise you'll be honest and not spare my feelings just 'cause I could kill you. You promise?" Faith

13 "You gotta give me something to do. There's no way I'm sleeping. Don't you need anyone dead? Or maimed? I can settle for maimed.” – Faith

14 "You know, I honestly don't think there's a human word fabulous enough for me.”- Glorificus

15 “I’m cookie dough. I’m not done baking. I’m not finished becoming whoever the hell it is I’m gonna turn out to be. I make it through this, and the next thing, and the next thing, and maybe one day, I turn around and realize I’m ready. I’m cookies. And then, you know, if I want someone to eat m — or enjoy warm, delicious, cookie me, then that’s fine. That’ll be then. When I’m done.” — Buffy Summers

16 “Seize the moment, ’cause tomorrow you might be dead.” — Buffy Summers

17 “The hardest thing in this world is to live in it. Be brave. Live.” — Buffy Summers

18 “No weapons. No friends. No hope. Take all that away and what’s left?” “Me.” — Angelus & Buffy Summers

19 “Don’t you have an elsewhere to be?” – Cordelia Chase

20 “God! What is your childhood trauma?!” – Cordelia Chase

21 “Gee, can you vague that up for me?” – Buffy Summers

22 “I laugh in the face of danger. Then I hide until it goes away.” – Xander Harris

23 “I don’t know what your problem is, what your issues are. But as of this moment I officially don’t care.” – Xander Harris

24 “You’re really campaigning for bitch of the year, aren’t you?” – Cordelia Chase

25 “I mock you with my monkey pants!” – Oz

26 “Funny how preparing looks an awful lot like sitting on your ass.” – Spike

27 “That’s fairly freaksome.” – Oz

28 “Do you have any tact at all?” – Giles

29 “I’ve known you for two minutes and I can’t stand you.” – Spike

30 “Great. Now I’m gonna be stuck with serious thoughts all day.” – Cordelia Chase

31 “You didn’t happen to take a lot of drugs, did you?” – Willow

32 “I’ve seen honest faces…they usually come attached to liars.” – Willow

33 “Can I be blind, too?” – Xander

34 “Gee, I hope I’m not interrupting anything really depressing.” – Riley

35 “And you just accepted that? I only said that because I thought that’s what you wanted to hear.” – Anya

36 “This is the crack team that foils my every plan? I am deeply shamed.” – Spike

37 “We’ve got to face it, we’ve changed. Well, not you—you’re still sadistic and self-centered.” – Giles

38 “Sometimes the most adult thing you can do is ask for help when you need it.” – Giles

39 “Did everybody have their Crazy Flakes today?” – Xander

40 “Do you love me?” “What?” “Do you?” “I love you. I don't know if I trust you.” “Maybe you shouldn't do either.” “Maybe I'm the one who should decide!” — Angel & Buffy

41 “Six a.m.!" NAME cried. "I know that's a number on my clock, but I've never actually been awake to personally witness it!” — Xander

42 “Bored now.” — Vampire Willow

43 “We’ll go be heroes.” — Spike

44 “You have a plan?” “I am the plan.” — Giles & Buffy

45 "Strong is fighting. It's hard and it's painful, and it's every day. It's what we have to do. And we can do it together." — Buffy

46 "I make it through this and the next thing and the next thing, and maybe one day I turn around and realize I'm ready." — Buffy

47 "You have to take care of each other. You have to be strong. NAME, the hardest thing in this world is to live in it. Be brave. Live, for me." — Buffy

48 "Make your choices. Are you ready to be strong?" — Buffy

49 “Weird love’s better than no love.” — Buffy

50 “The who having wha with huh?” — Buffy

51 “Whatever you choose, you’ve got my support. Just think of me as… as your… You know, I’m searching for supportive things and I’m coming up all bras. So, something slightly more manly, think of me as that.” – Xander

52 "A lot of things that seem strong and good and powerful, they can be painful." Angel

53 "To forgive is an act of compassion, NAME. It's-it's... it's not done because people deserve it. It's done because they need it." — Giles

54 "In the end, we all are who we are, no matter how much we may appear to have changed." — Giles

55 "I don't have time for vendettas. The mission is what matters." — Buffy

56 "I don't want to protect you from the world. I want to show it to you." — Buffy

57 "Make your choice. Are you ready to be strong?" — Buffy

58 "Recognizing power in another does not diminish your own." — Joss Whedon

59 “Out. For. A. Walk… Bitch.” — Spike

60 “You can’t see the stars, love. That’s the ceiling. Also, it’s day.” — Spike

61 “Is everyone here very stoned?” — Spike

62 “I feel safe with you.” [Chokes] “TAKE THAT BACK!” — Dawn & Spike

63 “I love you.” “Oh, my god.” “Hey, no. Look at me. I... love you. You're all I bloody think about... dream about. You're in my gut... my throat... I'm drowning in you, NAME. I'm drowning in you.” — Spike & Buffy

64 “Just... give me something. A crumb, the barest smidgen. Tell me maybe, someday there's a chance” “NAME ... the only chance you had with me was when I was unconscious.” “Oh, wha-“ [screams, then shouts] “What the bleeding hell is wrong with you bloody men/women? What the hell does it take? Why do you bitches torture me?” “Which question do you want me to answer first?” — Spike & Buffy

65 “You can't deny it. There's something between us.” “Loathing. Disgust.” — Spike & Buffy

66 “Could do without the laugh track, NAME.” “But it's so funny. I knew... before you did. I knew you loved the NAME. The pixies in my head whispered it to me.” — Spike & Drusilla

67 “Damn right I’m impure! I’m as impure as the driven yellow snow.” — Spike

68 “I love you.” “No, you don’t. But thanks for saying it.” — Spike & Buffy

69 “This with you, it’s wrong. I know it. I’m not a complete idiot.” — Spike

70 “You always hurt the ones you love, pet.” — Spike

71 "When I say ‘I love you,’ it’s not because I want you or because I can’t have you. It has nothing to do with me. I love what you are, what you do, how you try. I’ve seen your kindness and your strength. I’ve seen the best and worst of you. And I understand with perfect clarity exactly what you are." — Buffy

72 "I’m just gonna go home, lie down, and listen to country music. The music of pain." — Buffy

73 "I have feelings for you. I do. But it's not love. I could never trust you enough for it to be love." — Buffy

74 "Weird love's better than no love." — Buffy

75 “People don’t fall in love with what’s right in front of them. People want the dream — what they can’t have. The more unattainable, the more attractive.” — Buffy

76 "Trust is for old marrieds, NAME. Great love is wild and passionate and dangerous. It burns and consumes." “Until there's nothing left. Love like that doesn't last." — Spike & Buffy

77 "This isn't some fairy tale. When I kiss you...you don't wake up from a deep sleep and live happily ever after" — Angel

78 "I love you. I try not to, but I can't stop" — Angel

79 "If I may suggest, ‘This time it's personal.’ I mean, there's a reason why it's a classic." —Oz

80 "Well, to the casual observer, it would appear that you're trying to make your friend NAME jealous, or even the score, or something. And...that's on the empty side. See, in my fantasy, when I'm kissing you, you're kissing me. It's okay, I can wait." — Oz

81 "NAME’s our friend...except I don't like him/her.” — Xander

82 "What am I gonna do? I think about sex all the time! Sex ... Help! Four times five is thirty ... five times six is thirty-two ... Naked girls. Naked women ... Naked NAME ... Oh, stop me!" — Xander

83 "Man, NAME! My whole life just flashed before my eyes. I gotta' get me a life!" — Xander

84 “NAME. You're really campaigning for bitch-of-the-year, aren't you?” “As defending champion, you nervous?” — Cordelia & Buffy

85 "Tact is just not saying true stuff. I'll pass." — Cordelia

86 “Oh please. Like shame is something to be proud of.” — Cordelia

87 “I’m going to give you some advice: get over it.” — Cordelia

88 “Oh, and you’re welcome.” — Cordelia

89 “I’m not a sniveling little cry-NAME. I’m the nastiest guy/girl in PLACE history. I take crap from no one.” — Cordelia

90 “I think it. I say it. It’s my way.” — Cordelia

91 "I don't like spiders, okay? Their furry bodies, and their sticky webs, and what do they need all those legs for anyway? I'll tell you - for crawling across your face in the middle of the night." — Willow

92 "I don't want danger. Big 'no’ to danger.” — Willow

93 "Let's get this straight. I don't understand it. I don't wanna' understand it. You have gross emotional problems. And things are not okay between us." — Willow

94 "NAME, I got so lost." "I found you. I will always find you." — Tara & Willow

95 "But you like him/her, and when you think about him/her, you get that good down-low tickle, right?" — Faith

96 "You hurt me, I hurt you. I'm just a little more efficient." — Faith

97 "Just relax ... and take off your pants." — Faith

98 "I am, you know." “What?" “Yours." — Tara & Willow

99 "I don't have time for bondage fun." - Buffy

100 “It's fine, I don't need to be snuggled.” — Willow

#buffy prompts #buffy quotes #btvs #writing prompts #dialogue prompts #drabble prompts #buffy summers #angel #cordelia chase #rupert giles #xander harris #willow rosenberg #faith #spike #quaratine sucks and making these keeps my mind busy #i live in covid 19 hell

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mikkachu8888 · 4 years

Text

A/N I do not own any of the main plot line or characters of Marvel. Those rights are reserved for the creators. Thank you.

Peter x adult!reader

You were nervous to say the least. You looked at the clock on your wall again. It was probably only 15 minutes until they would arrive. You sighed. Mae and Peter are coming over for dinner. It's only been a few months since Tony's funeral and you can't say you were coping well. Natasha...Tony... Steve... all gone. Steve wasn't dead, but he seemed on the verge of it due to his old age now, but either way you weren't ready to let him go either. It felt like you were robbed of so much time you could have spent with him. He always was my most understanding fake uncle/dad/brother...or whatever you wanted to consider him. It didn't matter how you felt though, it's what makes him happy and you have to respect that... even if internally you weren't ready to bury another one of your family members. These people helped raise you and it broke your heart to see how your family got so much smaller.

Clint made more of an appearance in your life after the events, however. After Nat died you both found great comfort and grieving her death together. He became your new outlet to vent, which had previously belonged to Steve. Actually, this whole dinner was Clint's idea. It was something that was meant to clear the air between Peter and I.

"Are you okay?"

I turned to the voice and saw my fiancé of 8 months standing in the kitchen door with his hands in his pockets and looking at me with a concerned, but supportive smile.

"No..." I admit. "I've faced mass genocide, the largest war to human kind, and losing most of my family all at once... and yet... I've never been more nervous than I am right now."

"What do you think is going to happen?" (f/n) says.

"I don't know... I know it's really not that big of a deal compared to what we've all gone through before, but for some reason I can't bear to see Peter so upset with me. It...Just...It hurts my heart. I can't explain it." you say putting your face into your hands.

"I understand... and to be honest I think it is... a big deal." (f/n) says walking over and placing his hands on my arms gently. "So many families have been disrupted by the blip. Parents seeing their children all grown up all of a sudden, couples having larger age gaps and who have grieved and moved on, people who have blipped and realized that their loved ones that have remained here passed away in that what seemed to be moments they've been gone...in which it was actually years."

You looked up at him. He gave a small smile. "You are not the only one struggling to adjust in these weird times and grieving the lost time. I'm sure Peter is just as confused and nervous as you are. He was your boyfriend, your lover. You guys were very close and I'm sure when he came back from the blip he still thought you were the same as ever... only to realize that it wasn't the case."

"He saw me for the first time at Tony's funeral...and he wouldn't even talk to me. He just stared at me... almost like he was afraid of me." The sentence came out like it was a soft whisper, but ended with just pain and hurt in it.

"Is that a bad thing?" (f/n) asked. "Wouldn't you be? I know I would, especially if I was just a 16 year old kid."

"No no...No... You're right. I honestly should be thinking about him too. He's probably shell shocked and I'm just worried about myself." You take a deep breath and gave a slight bitter chuckle. "I'm the adult here. I've matured and learned to cope. I shouldn't be the one who's scared here."

"I think it's okay for you both to be scared. Don't worry, though. I'll be there and Mae will be there to help. Clint says he'll be standing by if you need help." It was at that moment, the doorbell rang making you jump. "You got this. I promise."

He gave you a kiss on the cheek before leaving to answer the door. You mulled over his words for a moment before sucking in a breath and following him. As you walked through your living room you reached up and began fixing your hair as you walked. You wanted to make sure you at least looked like you weren't a complete mess, but you were on the inside. A horrible, grieving, pitiful, shawarma and ice cream eating mess.

I wore black. It was my go to color. Not because I was sad or grieving, but because it is the most convenient color and showed so much class while also hiding your shame. There was very little the color black couldn't hide. You were grateful that when you joined SHIELD and the main uniform color was black. You cut your hair shorter and mostly wore it up in a tight seamless bun for work, but tonight it is in its full glory. Your fiancé wore basic white button up and black pants. He had on a tie before, but you supposed it was bothering him so he took it off. At least he put on the black blazer as well. You never liked the tie anyway. It was just something Steve had said one time that was necessary for important events. He taught (f/n) how to tie it and everything.

You stood beside (f/n) a little ways back as you were bit afraid. He opened the door and there stood Mae, Peter, and shockingly Happy smiling back. Peter actually wasn't smiling. He wasn't even looking at neither you nor (y/n). His gaze was to the side towards the floor. It was clear that he wasn't ready to face reality either. Your eyes moved back to the group as a whole. "Happy, what are you doing here?" You- asked stretching out a smile that may have seemed a little forced.

"Well, I was just popping over to the Parker residence from visiting Pepper and Morgan, and Mae invited me to come along, so I thought I haven't seen you in a while and there was no harm in dropping by as well. I wanted to see what you've been up to and what not." Happy nodded with a big smile. He leaned close and half whispered "Mae thought that you all could use as much help as you could get with this weird situation anyway."

"O-oh... okay... well um. Thanks for coming. I'm sure it's appreciated." You internally cursed. More people to witness the horror that will be this dinner. You turned your attention to Mae. "Hi, Mae." You smiled a bit and you could tell she already had tears pricking her eyes and she held out her arms for a big hug. She gave you tight motherly squeeze and rubbed your back. "Hi, Honey. Gosh, you've gotten so big. You just look absolutely beautiful."

"Yes. Thank you. It's been so long since I've seen you... Well I suppose not to you." You attempted a joke to lighten the mood. She and Happy laughed though that joke didn't seem to land well with Peter as he didn't laugh and only seemed to be made more uncomfortable.

Your eyes did fixate on Peter now and the silence of the group became thick and very tense. He wasn't saying anything and you bit your lip. "Hey...Peter." Your voice was softer and sounded week. He looked exactly the same. Young baby face with wispy brown hair that seemed to like to hang in his face depending how it fell. He did a pretty good job at keeping it combed back, however. His brown eyes finally looked back at you and widened just slightly. You looked so much different, yet, exactly the same. For starters, the makeup. That was so much more new. You never wore makeup. You were perfectly happy with the nude appearance of your face. Although you weren't wearing much makeup it was still prevalent that you had some on, but just enough to look clean and classy. Your hair wasn't as super long as you had it when you were younger. It was always down and long and it was a daily struggle for you to keep it maintained and out of paint or your food at lunch. You were always getting it caught in your mouth or finding random strands of it on your clothing or in your stuff. He remembered how sometimes when he kissed you your hair would get caught between their lips. It was embarrassing then, but now he missed it. Now it was cut much shorter and seemed more tamed. He wasn't sure if he liked that or not. It didn't matter, however, for some reason in Peter's mind it made you look all the much more mature and older. Everything about you seemed older and mature. Your body was different. Slightly wider hips and a bit larger breasts. He probably wouldn't have noticed either difference if it wasn't for the dress you were wearing... or for the matter that you were wearing a dress at all. Dresses and skirts weren't your forte last time he saw you. You said they restricted you from doing the things you wanted to do. No, leggings and jeans covered in paint, pen marks, sharpies was what you wore on a daily basis along with an oversized hoody of some sort. Peter looked down at the ground. He noticed you weren't wearing any shoes. He cracked a slight side smile. At least that was one thing that didn't changed about you. You always hated wearing shoes. It didn't matter where you were or the temperature outside. Shoes were never the priority for you. You always carried a pair and wore them when you had to, but if they bothered you too much or you just found them unnecessary you'd kick them off and immediately toss them in your backpack. So many times you'd walk down the school halls bare foot with some type of drawing that you drew on them from being bored in class. Peter always thought that little quirk was cute. He could actually see a little tattoo on the side of your foot, but couldn't make it out in that moment. In fact when he looked closer, he saw that both your feet looked slightly different from each other. He wasn't quite sure, but it seemed the foot with the tattoo seemed somewhat off. He just wasn't sure what was different.

His voice finally decided to make an appearance. "Hey... again..." It didn't come out as strong as he wanted it to, but it came out enough for her to hear.

"How are you?" You asked him.

"Uh..." He didn't have anything to say. He just gave an awkward nod and a generic 'ok'. He wasn't ready to talk. You backed off and looked at the group as a whole once more.

"Oh um... everyone. This is my fiancé, (f/n)" you said stepping back and introducing your now future husband. Peter's face immediately dropped. His eyes widened and he looked back and forth between you and your fiancé in an almost panicked state. He couldn't believe it. You had found someone else. You had left him.

"Hi, everyone." (f/n) smiled and waved and shook everyone's hand, except Peter who didn't even attempt to raise his hand. His face now stared wide eyed at your fiancé who waited patiently for his hand in return. Mae nudged Peter's arm and he blinked a couple of times in realization and took (f/n)'s hand to shake. "Oh yeah um sorry... it's nice to meet you." He says politely trying to cover up how frazzled he was for a moment.

"Well, everyone. Why don't you come inside?" You say and step to the side allowing everyone to filter into your home.

"Wow... fancy." Happy says looking around at stuff.

"Happy, you knew I lived here." You say unamused.

"I've never seen the inside, though." He commented back.

"So how long have you lived here?" Mae asks looking at the light fixtures.

"3 years or so now." You say watching them. "I know it's much different than that dingy apartment I was at before."

"Yeah um.... How did you get a place like this?" Peter asks quietly.

"Uh well... with my new job and the housing being cheaper from the blip and-"

"Tony bought it." Happy commented bluntly cutting you off.

You sighed. "Yes. Tony bought and designed it for me. My job at SHIELD lets me be able to pay for it."

"You work at SHIELD?" peter asks glancing back at you.

"Yes. Head of the entire global security and protection program. Also, I'm a public advocate for the international super powered and mutated community." You say with a bit of pride.

"Wow that sounds like a very high position." Mae says.

"It can be, I suppose." You shrug your shoulders.

"You've certainly come a long way since you were young." Mae says a little sad.

"I think everyone who was left here during the blip has. It just depends on if they came a long way for the better or worse. That depends on the person." You state glancing at Happy. "Right, Happy?"

"Yeah. There's been a lot of people who dropped over the edge since that, but also a lot of people who've thrived since then. We've seen it all." Happy says skeptically looking at one of the vases you had on your counter. You walked over and took the vase from Happy's hands. "Why don't we all sit down before you break something." You says putting the vase back down where it was.

"Where did you get that? It's hideous." Happy says moving towards the sofa.

"It came with the house." You stated.

"Why'd you keep it?" Happy says scrunching up his nose.

"Don't worry about it." You say ushering him to the couch.

"I happen to like it. I think it's... unique." Mae says admiring it from afar as she sat next to Happy and Peter on one of the sofas. You and (f/n) sat across from them on the other. He gave them each glasses of water in case they got thirsty. You hadn't seen him even go into the kitchen to get them.

"Oh yeah... I mean... if you look at it that way then I guess it's pretty nice." Happy says backtracking and taking a pert sip of the water he was just given. Your eyes furrow as you look between Happy and Mae. You glance at Peter who also seems confused at the interaction.

"Okay...so Happy. What were you doing at the Parker residence?" you ask Happy with a smirk.

"Oh you know. Just checking in. See how Peter is doing." Happy says not so casually.

"I see." You say as your eyes look back at Peter. "So, Peter."

"Huh?" he asks a little startled by my turn of attention to him. The water in his cup sloshing at the sudden movement. "How are you doing?"

"Oh um... okay, I guess." He responds nodding. That was it. The entire highlight of the conversation between us for the rest of the time. The rest of the time he and you both remained quiet and only spoke when spoken too. You were hurt. He was hurt. You could tell. Not only because you know him, but because teenagers tend to have less of a poker face when they're upset. No matter how hard they try to hide it, it usually slips through that they are emotional in that moment. You have learned to control that side of you a lot better. You are no longer that emotional and even if you were, you've learned to hide it a lot better. Your face remains impassive, but you sit there thinking that perhaps he doesn't need impassive. He needs something to know that you are feeling much of the same feelings he is feeling. You just don't know what to say.

"If you don't mind me asking, how did you two meet?" Mae asks setting her glass on the coffee table in front of us. Peter's attention becomes more alert at the question. It was obvious he was wondering the same thing. Just when did this happen?

"Oh no. I don't mind. I suppose that is one of the big elephant questions in the room." You say a little nervously.

"We met in physical therapy. We had the same Therapist and she brought all her patients together for group stretching once a week. It was something that was set up through a volunteer group for people with superpowers and mutations. I can't exactly remember the name, but it was group that helped with the devastation after the snap. They helped clean up and got people out of crisis and arranged for a lot of the people with powers who were injured to receive medical attention and physical therapy from medical professionals that had mutations of some sort as to not expose us or risk exploitation. Do you remember the volunteer organization's name?" (f/n) asked looking at me.

"It wasn't an organization. It was a school, I believe. Dr. Xavier ran the school. He's quite the man. I talk to him every now and again, but I haven't heard from him quite a while. He's part of the reason I got my foot in the door for advocating for those with superpowers or mutants as they call them." You state.

"Interesting. What were you going to physical therapy for?" Mae asked. "Or what I mean is, what happened?"

"Well I was on a train in New York with my sister and mother when people starting dusting away. I suppose the conductor was one of those people because our train never stopped and crashed full force into one of the buildings and derailed us from the tracks over a bridge, it sent us crashing into the streets. My mother died on impact, but I was able to protect my sister with my body. I can turn my body into different materials, so I was able to keep most of the things away from her and she just had a couple of broken bones, but I didn't move fast enough because I got a metal rod straight through the chest. It broke right near my sternum. I had no clue why or how I was still alive. I thought I was going to die in there for sure until some of the students from that school showed up." (f/n) unbuttoned his shirt half way to show the large star like shaped scar right in the center of his chest.

"That's awesome..." Happy muttered looking in awe at his scar before getting nudged in the shoulder by Mae. "I mean terrible. Truly terrible. I'm sorry for your loss."

"Yes, that's awful. I'm sorry that happened to you." Mae says sympathetically.

(f/n) chuckled and buttoned his shirt back up. "No, don't worry about it. These types of things make us stronger right? And I do agree with Happy. I think my scar is pretty awesome." He patted his chest proudly. You smiled in amusement and gave slight chuckle.

"...and you?" Peter's soft voice piped up after a moment. Everyone looked at him. He was looking at you. You weren't really sure what he was trying to ask you. He glanced at everyone before licking his lips and trying again to clarify. "Uh um. What I mean is what happened to you... as well? Why were you in, you know, physical therapy?"

"Oh. I was actually in Africa fighting in battle." You sated simply.

"You were a part of the Battle of Wakanda?" Peter asks sitting up straighter now.

You smiled a bit and let out a breathy laugh. "Yeah. It was like pulling teeth to convince Steve to let me, but yeah. I was. It was a savage alien that bit and clawed into my leg and that started the problems, but it was a female servant of Thanos that actually took my leg. Cut it clean off with swords she had."

"Oh my god. That's horrible." Mae exclaimed and Peter's eyes traveled to your foot once more. That's why your foot looked so off. It was a prosthetic. Peter thought it looked too real to be a prosthetic, but too fake to be real. You were able to walk so seamlessly though. Like you never lost your leg at all.

"Not as horrible as for her. When Natasha found out she was absolutely pissed. She and one of the Wakanda guards kicked her ass." You laughed outwardly. Peter saw the old you come out all of a sudden and all at once. He smiled brightly. "And then what happened?" he asked.

"They sent her ass through her own giant alien sawblade that they tried to kill us with!" You were full blown laughing now. The memory had you almost in tears because of how convenient and karmic the whole thing was. If you remembered correctly you remember yourself laughing in that moment as well. Despite nearly being dead in a ditch and bleeding out uncontrollably, you were still verbally shouting out cheers of praise to Nat as she fought and when she came to quickly bandage you up to stop the bleeding. You remembered Nat replying to you "Shut up, kid or I'll leave you here instead. All that shouting is going to make you pass out anyway." Funny enough she wasn't too far off the target because it wasn't long after she told you that did you fall unconscious from blood loss and woke up with a sweet new robotic vibranium prosthetic leg in Wakanda's medical ward.

"So, if she cut your leg off what happened next." Peter asked now interested in the story.

"Nat bandaged me up, I passed out, and I woke up with a sweet new robotic leg in Wakanda's medical ward. After I was healed enough I was transferred to Xavier's school where I sharpened my powers and did physical therapy along with the others. Once I was healed, Tony came back from outer space. Once he was recovered he told us everything and eventually upgraded my leg. Now it looks almost like I never lost a leg. Well, sort of. It still looks a bit off and it glitches every now and again, but I'm not complaining. I can still walk so." You shrugged now crossing your leg over the other and folding your arms over your chest.

"Wow. That's really cool." Peter said breathlessly. He seemed to admire you so much more. You knew you were now Tony Stark, but it was nice to have those admiring eyes directed towards you for once. The type of eyes that didn't hold romantic feelings, but still held the belief that everything you did was cool and amazing.

"Thank you, Peter." You smiled.

"So when are you two getting married?" Happy asks randomly and taking a gulp of water.

*smash*

The glass in Peter's hand immediately smashes in his palm. Everyone makes a noise in surprise at the sudden sound and turn to Peter. "Oh! Uh... I'm sorry! I didn't mean to! I'll... I'll clean it up." Peter says getting down on the floor to clean it up.

"Peter, your hand." You gasp setting your cup down. His hand started bleeding from all the glass shards that decided to embed themselves into his skin.

"Oh um..." Peter's face flushed a bright red. He couldn't help but feel intense embarrassment about the situation.

"Don't worry about the glass. I got it. You go with (y/n) and get your hand all patched up, okay?" (f/n) says already standing to go and get the broom.

"Yeah, come on, Peter. I have a first aid kit in the kitchen." You say standing up and helping him to his feet. You held his arm as he kept his hand underneath his injured one, hoping to catch the blood so it wouldn't get onto your carpet. You walked him to the kitchen. "Just put your hand over the sink and I'll be there in a moment."

"Okay." Peter says doing what you asked as you began to rummage around the medicine cabinet. Peter began to run his hand under a bit of water as you came back with the first aid kit. You first got some tweezers and a dish towel and dragged 2 chairs over so we could sit. You first sat down and put the dish towel across your lap. Peter then sat down and you gently grabbed his hand and set it in your lap while looking closely at it. "Nothing bad it looks like. Obviously nothing the Amazing Spiderman can't handle." You joke looking at him with a smile and he smiles back with an awkward laugh.

A silence falls over you both as you begin to focus on plucking the tiny shards from his hand. You didn't notice how the air got thicker and you certainly didn't notice how things got increasingly more difficult for Peter to stomach. He stared at you the entire time and the longer he did the more his heart broke. You didn't notice how his straight face slowly broke until you saw a few tear drops fall onto the surface of the hand you were working on and you heard a choked back sob. You looked up and saw his face as he turned away. You set the towel with glass pieces aside and held his hand. You knew he wasn't crying because of his hand or if there was a possibility you hurt him. He was much tougher than that. You also knew you couldn't physically hurt him even if you wanted to. His powers made it easier for him to handle a lot more than a regular human. No, his pain was internal. His kind soft heart was bursting with pain. "Peter..." you said softly with a frown.

"I... I miss you." He said finally with his head down and his chest heaved. "I miss you so much."

This is where your heart broke and you couldn't even keep your composure anymore. You hugged Peter and you hugged him tight. You hugged him like how you wanted to hug him the day you found out that he was one of the victims of the Snap. You hugged him like he would dust away again. You hugged him like he would leave you again, but this time not come back. And you cried. Oh, you cried like you should have when you first saw him again. You cried as you were finally getting the closure you wanted. It was five years, but you had him in your arms again and you couldn't be more grateful. "I miss you, too."

"First I lost Mr. Stark and now you..." he began crying harder now. He drops to his knees on the floor and his face goes to your lap.

"That's not true. I'm right here." I told him holding him tighter.

"But you're not mine anymore. You're his... and it only seems like just a few months ago you were at my house and we were playing video games and listening to music." Peter said getting his voice more.

"But it wasn't a few months ago. It's been years, Peter." You tell him stroking his hair.

"I know... but... it's just not fair!" he says gripping the fabric of your dress around your thighs tight in his balled fists.

"I know, I know it's not fair." You tell him as more tears fell from your eyes.

"If... if he wasn't there... If you weren't getting married, would you wait for me?" he asked quietly. You pressed your lips together. This was a very heavy question. It wouldn't change the outcome of how things were now no matter how you answered, but it could change the way Peter thought about things and how your relationship would be from here on out. You had to answer carefully. Either he could be angry with you and refuse to have contact with you, or he could have a false sense of hope and closure all depending on how you answered his question. You just hated to see him so upset and you wanted to give in, but you also could not lie to him either. If you ever loved him then you would not lie to him, even now.

"No, Peter." I told him gently petting his hair. His body tensed at the words. "Look at me."

He didn't move, so you shifted your body away slightly and lifted his chin up, so he would look at you. "Peter, I want you to listen to me. I want you to really hear what I am trying to tell you."

He looks at you with his tear stained face, but he does what you ask. "What happened to us is cruel and unfair, but it did happen. This whole situation is hard to swallow and seeing you like this kills me. Seeing your face for the first time when you came back and realizing you didn't grow up with me was one of the hardest things I had to come to terms with because I immediately realized that we couldn't work. I think it was even harder for me when I realized that when you came back, you had no idea what had happened and you thought we were still together like always. I found it difficult when I saw the reality hit you when you looked at me for the first time at Tony's funeral. I still care deeply for you, but you are still a child, Peter. You blipped. I didn't. I mourned and moved on. I know that when you become in your twenties it won't really be a big deal anymore with the age gap, but that's nearly 10 years of my life waiting for you. That's 10 years of my life halted and stagnant. That's also nearly 5 years of your life wasted waiting on me when you also need to move on. I'm sorry, but it won't be healthy if you wait for me."

He doesn't say anything for a long while. He just sets his head back down in your lap as he thinks over what you just told him. I don't mind, however. You said what you had to. You couldn't lie to him. It wasn't the adult or right thing to do. You had to just rip the band aid off. It seemed we sat there for a while. I knew the others were giving us our privacy. We all knew this dinner was really just to break the news to Peter that our relationship wouldn't work and hoping we could still be okay afterwards.

"Do you love him?" he asked quietly, his voice breaking a bit.

"Yes." You answered back.

"Did you love me?"

"Yes."

"Do you still love me?"

"Yes."

"But... not the same way..." he sighed.

"...No... not in the same way." You tell him gently.

"I... I suppose that's okay." He muttered, even if he didn't like his own answer.

"Thank you, Peter." You say with a smile looking down at him.

"For what?" he asks looking up at you.

"For understanding, for not being angry, for being a good person, for doing the right thing for yourself and I, ... and for just giving me some of the best moments of my life being with you." You tell him happily.

"O-oh. No problem." He says now getting back up off the floor and going to his feet.

You follow suit. His face was still tear stained, but he didn't have complete dread in his eyes anymore.

"It's going to take a while for me to get over you." He says looking at the ground.

"I know it will because it took me awhile. (f/n) was very patient with me." You tell him before thought came into her head. "Peter, I know this is too soon, but may I point you in a direction of people to consider giving a chance?"

"Um... okay?" He didn't seem too comfortable, but he was open to hear what she suggested.

"You know Michelle Jones that was in our class, right? I believe she just went by MJ."

"MJ?" Peter thought taking it into consideration.

#spiderman #peter parker #tom holland #xreader #infinity war #endgame #marvel #tony stark #black widow #steve rogers #hawkeye

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lunaofthevalley · 5 years

Text

Sadness, an overfelt emotion

Ben!Roger Taylor x Reader

Plot: Part 2 to Love, an overused word. Freddie checks up on Y/N and a confrontation occurs. The rest of the band find out what's happened.

Warnings: just more angst for you lovely readers.

Note: so I have decided to make this a series, part three is already written as well (yay), and well I'll be prepared for your anger towards me. Also if you guys want to request something, my requests are open.

She didn't know how long it had been. A few hours, a couple of days, a week maybe? She really couldn't process anything. Y/N had holed herself up in her apartment, she hadn't left since she had gotten there.

She barely ate, only left her bed to eat or take a shower, and she would just spend the hours crying and crying, letting out heartbreaking sobs at the thought of what had happened.

Her phone hadn't stopped ringing since she arrived, but she was too drained of energy to go pick it up, opting to just try and ignore the world. She didn't want to deal with anybody, not right now. God knows anything could send her over the edge at any given moment.

It was when she decided to go get something to eat that the door of her apartment opened, letting in sunlight and fresh air and also an over dramatic uprising singer.

"Darling, where have you been for the past 2 days? The boys and I were sure you would come visit us."

Freddie, of course. She had forgotten that he had a key, something she had given him years ago after he asked to borrow something and she hadn't been at home. It had been a sort of gift, you could say, a very intimate and personal way of saying 'I trust you'. Something she no longer did.

Y/N turned to look at Freddie, who was dressed as extravagantly as he always was, a pair of sunglasses over his eyes, his long hair falling to his shoulders in his natural waves. "Oh, sweet girl, we have so much to tell you. The tour was amazing...as always is. We have some great stories, like the time Deacy almost fell of stage, or the time Brian's hair got caught in a net, ooh there's also the time-"

"The time Roger cheated on me, repeatedly might I add."

Freddie didn't expect that reply, and nothing had prepared him for it. It was then that he finally got a good look at her.

Her usually shiny hair was now dull and fell limp, her eyes which used to hold happiness in them were puffy and red, her cheeks held the trails of evident tears that had fallen a while earlier, and she also seemed thinner.

She looked like a ghost, Freddie thought, and the thought made his heart drop to his stomach.

" Y/N dear..."

"No Freddie," she spoke softly, "please, please don't try to excuse yourself. Please don't tell me that you didn't know, or that John and Brian didn't either. I know what tour life is like, I've been on tour with you before, so I know for a fact that you knew what he was doing."

Freddie sighed, he knew there was no way out of this one, "Yes, Y/N, we knew..." he replied, head bowed in shame, guilt consuming him.

"Then why didn't you tell me?" She waited for an answer, but received none. "I considered you family you know. I trusted you boys with my life. You three, just like Roger, promised to be there for me, to protect me from harm...yet funnily enough it was all of you that brought me the most ."

Freddie stood up from where he sat and walked over to her, "Listen...darling, I won't try to excuse myself, or any of the other boys for that matter. What Roger did was wrong, really wrong. We were also in the wrong for never attempting to stop him from doing it, and to make it even worse we never thought of telling you."

"Do you know how much it hurt to see him coming home with another woman. Touching her how he used to touch me. And do you know how much more it hurt when I realized you knew but didn't do anything about it. I felt... feel...so betrayed Freddie. I can't trust you, any of you, anymore."

That was the moment when Freddie Mercury's heart broke for the first time.

" I really don't want to sound rude, Freddie, but I really don't want to see you right now." Y/N sniffled.

Freddie nodded, deciding not to say anything. He only kissed her cheek softly before making his way to her door, but before he left, he put his key, the key she had gifted him so long ago, in the little trinket bowl by the entrance.

_________________________

As he walked down the long hall leading to the studio where the rest of the boys were, the closer he got the louder the sounds got. It sounded like things we're flying all over the place, and the answer to his question came when he was met with the sight of Roger, inside the booth, throwing whatever he found at the walls.

"Oh thank God you're back," Freddie turned to see it was Brian who had addressed him. Said tall man had now stood up from the couch and walked over to Freddie. "He's is a mood. Please tell me you brought Y/N with you, she always manages to calm him down."

Freddie bit his inner cheek, "I'm afraid Brian that Y/N did not come with me, and I doubt she will in the future."

Brian looked confused, "What do you mean Fred?"

"What I mean Brian is that she knows." He stated in a monotonous voice, "She knows Roger cheated on her with that awful groupie...and she also knows we knew yet didn't tell her."

At this, John who had been messing around on his bass while sitting on the couch stopped and turned to the other two, "What?"

"She found out Deacy, that we kept it from her, that we aloud him to keep doing it. Christ you should have seen her....she's heartbroken."

Roger just kept throwing things at the wall, oblivious to what his band mates where talking about.

"We should have stopped it..." John murmured quietly.

Brian let out a long sigh, "Rog is an adult Deacy, we shouldn't have to baby sit him, or control his decisions."

"I agree with the fact that he is an adult Brian, but so are we, and us being sensible people should have said something about it!" Exasperated Fred.

Suddenly a new voice joined in, "Said something about what?"

The three turned to look at the blonde, who was sweaty and breathing heavily.

"Said something to Y/N about you cheating on her....or at least say something to you to prevent it." It had surprisingly been Deacy who had said that to Roger, a slight venom in his voice.

Roger looked at the ceiling, "So she's told you..."

"Well I went to her flat to see what had been going on, she wasn't picking up her phone so I got worried. Should've seen her, a downright mess. She looked like a ghost. Told me what had happened, how she felt. Although she didn't give me the full details. Didn't really want to see me."

"I don't think she would want to see any of us..." Brian added.

"I screwed up I know," Roger stuttered, "god, don't I know. You know she had come back from visiting her parents and the first thing she did was go to my flat. She cooked my favorite dish, just how my mum prepared it. Fixed up the whole place, added candles and even sprayed that perfume of hers....and what do I do? I come home drunk making out with another bird,

"Worst part is...she never shouted at me, she never got angry. Just spoke calmly and softly like she always does with that angelic voice of hers. But it was evident how hurt she was, her voice shook and she was sobbing....I can't get that image out of my head and it feels awful to replay that in my mind...because I'm the one that did that to her."

"I don't know what to tell you Roger..."

"You don't have to tell me anything Brian."

"We all took part in hurting her...you for obvious reasons and us for not doing anything about it. I honestly don't know how you could do it, but you need to fix this, things might not be what they were before, but you should at least talk to her about it." Freddie suggested.

Deacy nodded, "I agree with Fred, Rog. Y/N's the sweetest girl ever, and yes you did something wrong. You should own up to it, and at least explain to her why you did what you did."

"How am I supposed to do it if she doesn't even want to see me." He started making his way to door before he stopped and looked back at the boys. He then took something out of his back jean pocket, showing it to the boys, who just widened their eye in shock,

"That night I was supposed to end things with Tabatha, and technically I did, at the pub, she was fine with it so we kept on drinking and we both got drunk and well one thing led to another. Forgot she was coming home that day.... I was gonna propose you know, when I next saw her. I know we're both still young but I love her, I truly do. But I've messed that up. Just like I do with everything."

And with that Roger Taylor had made his exit.

BoRhap List: @your-idiotic-excellency // @itsamethaphorbriansblog // @minihemo // @magicwithaknife // @sabbrriiinnaa

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kyunsies · 3 years

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MADCH MADCH <3

hello fam - I've had a weird day, I'm super happy I can take the time out to reply to you. always thinking of you though, I hope you're always having a great day. today's been a bit of a non day - a family member has to deal with operations and that's on top of me too so i've just felt a bit winded in life?

YES to you finally conquering that damn cold! do you feel properly replenished now? omg i hate sore throats too - okay i hope this doesn't give you nightmares but when i was a kid i saw a documentary about this terrible disease that manifests at its worst a bit like alzhemiers but it can hit anyone of any age and for the majority of people who get it... one of the first symptoms is a sore throat and i have literally lived in terror of sore throats ever since. but luckily it's a very rare disease. so basically, yes, i understand you.

OMG you know when you're like eight and you don't want to sleep and you're like no i will adult and stay up and it will be glorious - i'm like, CHILD YOU FOOL you could have gone to sleep XD and ugh no responsibilities?! i remember working most of the time when i was a kid and i kind of wish i had wreaked havoc? what was your childhood like? did you get to do lots of fun stuff? i know my mum wishes she had been able to spend more time with me when i was a kid and i'd like to have a family and i'd love her to be able to relax and just spend time with her grandkids? OMG well when you come to europe let me know and then i can show you around and give you a hug in person!

so we're mainly cofe here though cahtolic culture is still big and honestly i'm with you. like religion can be a great influence on you if it's not used in nefarious ways and can help you learn so much - like even if there are things you don't end up agreeing with at least you learn about then so you can make a choice for yourself as opposed to not really knowing anything? agree - people that are really boastful totally put me off, i just can't deal with it at all. but you're right, like it makes us so so hard to forgive ourselves for anything right? like, even if we've done nothing wrong and we shouldn't have to punish ourselves? like i swear i'm apologising for everything haha XD once someone pushed me off the tube and i ended up apologising like ON REFLEX? hasjdkahds XD but i really hope you have people around you that keep bigging you up too! if not i will keep bigging you up :D :D so you know that you are worth it.

i'm sorry you're not looking forward to your final year of uni! think you're almost there though - like this is the final stretch and you'll have like conquered everest you know?! and even if your landing at the end of it isn't as perfect the fact you landed at all means so much and that means you can stand up again and keep going! day at a time and moment at a time you know? i kind of had this moment today (hence my wierd day) when i was worry about everything and i literally sat there like - have i made the right choice and done the right thing and surely i've made the wrong choices in my life and do i actually have any talent cause if not people would actually like my stuff and i had to just be like... a moment at a time sometimes you know? like, just bit by bit and don't sweat the stuff you don't have to? idk i find it hard to do but i hope that helps you - like you'll surmount every little thing bit by bit and before you know it you'll have made it! you were born ready you were <3 <3

TINY SQUAD IS GO! the pant dilemma is truly a massive issue, like IDK how to deal OMG OK SO LAMPSHADING is like when you do big baggy like tops and then like leggings or tights or something skinny on the bottom so... you look like a lampshade? like i guess it makes you look cute and then also it's such an easy way to dress without worrying if you look like a kid that's wearing your mum's clothes?? ahsdjakdhsa XD

AHHHH YES BASIL ME TOO!! what scent did you end up buying? i'm sure it was lush - are your parents near you or is it like a massive special occassion to get to see them? YES agree with your take on musk though! like it feels like idk, something a 50 year old with a cigar in a stuffy country club would wear? like, there's no energy to it but not in a chill mellow way either??! like even if i was going to a dinner thing I would still rather not wear something musky? like i'd still rather it be something a bit sweeter? also like some musk perfumes can be SO STRONG? like i'm like - my nose is choking on this perfume XD

YES BLUE MOON SQUAD AAAAA it is literally one of their finest ever, it's always stayed on my top faves list by them. like ugh yes to the lofi stuff sometimes i just wanna VIBE and be in my feels but not so much i'm too angsty but enough that I'm FEELING feels ya know? what did you think of kiss or death? it really wasn't that kind of vibe but yh i hope they do more lofi jazzy stuff - also cause like not a lot of korean groups play with that sound a lot?

hello mädch's mom as always! nerer apologise for being late, always just happy to hear from you and i hope you are super super well and looking after yourself first and foremost! more than anything <3 (also i take ages to reply too ya know and omg this is so so long ahsdjakhdaskjdh)

love you lots and lots and lots xxxxxxxxxxxx

ANGEL ANGEL !!!!!!!! <3 i know i'm really late to this LKDFJS i've had such a busy week getting some overtime in and then visiting my grandparents' house so i didn't really have a lot of energy to reply to all of this BUT IM HERE AND i can finally give u a good response <3

firstly is your family member okay??? i hope so ;____; how was the rest of your week, and how was your weekend angel? i hope u were able to enjoy your weekend and that everything is okay in the family <3

but YEAH my mom and i are over the stupid cold ;_____; i hate colds,,,, they last way too long lol like i say i know the flu is a little more serious than a cold but i would rather have it for a day or 2 than being stuck feeling lousy for a whole week :( ALSO SLDKFSJDFKLJ OH GOD SEE we are both hypochondriacs ( that's not the best trait to have as a nursing major lol ) but tbh i'm really curious about this rare disease ????? :o sounds really scary tho goodness gracious i wonder what it could be ;____;

also god i was always awful at staying up late as a kid LOL but i know what u mean !!!!!! honestly there was only one time i can recall i had a sleepover with my friend in like the 3rd grade and we tried pulling an all nighter so i think we made it to like 5am but i had to go to bed omg i felt like such garbage LKDSFJ </3 it's just funny bc like as u get older u realize that staying up late is really nothing special and if anything u feel like a train hit you the next morning and adults are so sleep deprived as it is we just *try* to prioritize sleep SLDKFJSDKLJF :') you worked a lot as a child bub?? what kind of things did you do? i didn't start working until i was 15 bc most places here don't allow u to work until this age (unless you're in a family business i guess lol) but all the jobs i had in high school i hated so much ;_____; but my childhood? i would say it was relatively normal LOL like we say all the time i've had a single mom so life was really stressful for her but i always felt loved <3 i always had my mom <3 and we took trips to the beach with my family every year, it was our little tradition !! i went to san diego to visit disney, you know little trips here and there !! and then when i got into my sport and i started getting older my mom and i spent a lot of time and money investing into my sport so most of my weekends consisted of a lot of tournaments and driving far away for me to compete :') i do remember when i was really young like in kindergarten my mom's work was really far away from my school and we had a recital ; i was the "host" where i would introduce all of the songs and stuff and my mom didn't get off of work until like 6 and by the time she made to my recital, it was over :( she told me she cried a lot that night :( i don't remember her doing this (i don't even remember the recital all that much lol) but now that i'm older and i understand more about adulting, i'm sure she was so devastated thinking about it now :( anyways about visiting europe LOL I WILL DEF GIVE U A CALL AND LET U KNOW SO U CAN SHOW ME ALL OF THE COOL PLACES <333333

and about the religion ....... yes ;____; i think it's a great thing if a family decide that they want to do this when they're families; i hope to continue to practice it (even tho we aren't regularly going to church at all hhhh gotta work on that) but there is something about catholic guilt specifically that just makes it soooo hard to like, be easy on yourself? but ,,,,,, i guess it keeps me grounded :( in a self depreciating way ??? LDSKFJ I KNOW U UNDERSTAND ... it's weird for me to put into words ;____; and YEAH :( i think i'm getting a little better at this but i used to apologize all the time for things i never needed to be sorry for hhhh (still do) :')

and yes babe honestly i'm really terrified to start uni :( i think i have this weird anxiety issue i've had it ever since last year but i don't know why i'm so scared and anxious about things that haven't even happened yet ;____; are u like this too? is it normal? i wish i knew :( i guess i won't really feel better until i have made it to graduation, but i just want to do well this year. whatever i do, whether it's exams, or clinical rotation or my preceptorship, i just want to do well ;____; i don't want to do poorly, i want to make my mom proud and i want to work at a place i'll be excited to work at, and most of all i just want everything to work out ,,,, i wish someone could just sit me down and say listen i know what you're going thru is hard but you CAN get thru this and EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OKAY NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS bc no one in my family is in the health sciences (besides my cousin who is studying to be a doctor but she doesn't give a shit about what i do lol) so ;_____; yeah ,,,,,,,,,,, lots of anxiety and apprehension of the unknown :(

LSDKFJSD FOKAY NOW I KNOW WHAT LAMPSHADING IS LMAOOOOOOOOOOO yes i wear those clothes on lazy days LOL the thing is i'm really picky about the length of my oversized crewneck sweaters hhhh the can't be too long bc if it goes below my butt i look like i'm wearing rags LOL so i have to be careful :') but most days i do like, reverse lamp shading lDLKFJSDLKFJ i like wearing flowy pants with a more tight top or like baggy jeans with a tighter shirt or a blouse i can tuck into my jeans LOL but omg its so funny i didn't know what that was :') thank u for the explanation my love <3

OKAY BUT HALF THE REASON I DIDN'T RESPOND IS THAT i was saving this weekend to go to the jo malone store in my mall and !!! I GOT A NEW SCENT AND I'M IN LOVE WITH IT SO MUCH BABE ;____; you have to go smell it if you go there soon and tell me what u think !!!!!! it's called wild bluebell (here is the scent description lol) but the guy behind the counter helping me was soooo amazing and helpful like they really do treat u the best at the store and AH i’m so happy with my purchase <3 my wallet isn’t so much LDSKFJ but nonetheless i know i’ll have it for a long time :)

KISS OR DEATH !!!!! i actually really enjoyed it lol i have seen some ppl not really like the rapping so much but i loved it ;____; i’m super biased obviously LOL but gosh i thought they were all great and minhyuk + hyungwon killed the song for me <333 wouldn’t expect anything less from our monstas !!!!! and my mom is sending her love lol i tell her the work u do and she’s always wondering how ur doing :(((( same for my moots she always asks me about 2 in particular LOL she’s always asking me <3 i love u so much bubbie !!!! iM SO SORRY FOR BEING LATE MY LOVE again i always just want to give u a quality response <3 i love u the absolute most and i hope u had a great weekend !!!!!!! this is my last week at work before i have a week long break before i head for uni so :’) can’t believe i’ve done all this LOL :’) i will be happy to hear from u whenever u come back hun !!!!! TAKE CARE LOVE U <3

#asks #💥 anon #WE ARE WRITING NOVELS HERE BABE LOL !!!!

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