#and here i am still love him LOL

[cashweasel]

I’ve not seen anyone talk about Julia Belmont yet which is crazy because,, she looks like this?! My honest reaction seeing her on screen was “damn boy that’s your mommy??” Can she be my mommy too? She’s stunning. I want her so bad rip tho queen

#idk what I expected her to look like but not this lol #on my knees fr #also am I the only one who thinks she has a little bit of sypha in her? fjskskdj #I’ve only watched the first ep tonight but istg if we get some trevor and sypha flashbacks that I don’t know about yet #i will break down #edit: ok I just found out this was like 9 generations after them lol #somehow that makes me very sad tho 9 gens and they’re gone and alucard is still here #he met not only their kids but their descendants #:( #castlevania #castlevania nocturne #also richter is baby (literally) he’s a smol child and I love him #babe how old are you? 17?

[vaguely-concerned]

I have seen people question whether dios apate minor really needed to happen the way it did. it's the 'this could have been an email' of htn. 'augustine this did not have to be a threesome', I hear people saying. and boy do I have an obnoxious amount of things to say to protest this perfectly sensible assertion so here we go haha

1) yes it absolutely had to be like that. It says so on this piece of paper *hands you a piece of paper that says "because I said so and also it's narratively and thematically Sexy"* in my half-legible handwriting. seeing tamsyn muir describe harrow the ninth as a book about being a kid and realizing your parents probably had sex has given me such validation, I am unstoppable now. (to be serious for a moment, harrow the ninth is essentially a bildungsroman, and the threesome scene does a whole lot of thematic heavy lifting around harrow glimpsing elements of adulthood, relationships, and sexuality she clearly finds at the same time repulsive, bewildering and fascinating, and around opening her and especially our eyes to how much john is just a man with human longings still, under the god stuff. dios apate is crucial plot- and character-wise too -- it's a loadbearing threesome in terms of delivering the clues you need to piece together the mystery plot of the book, which is simply delightful -- but even more so thematically. and then the scene at the end where they confront john gives gideon some of that same opportunity to peek into adulthood and go '...well shit I guess', as a sort of mirror, just without the french kissing that time and more murder. the things magnus and abigail model for the girls about love and adulthood? mercy and augustine are providing the opposite-day batshit insane version of that fhdskjfa, you know, for contrast and spice)

2) listen... it gets lonely out there in deep space with your 'legendary unamorous' brother, two infant pathetic baby kitten sisters who you'll probably have to kill one day when you take another stab at god if they don't manage to get themselves killed along the way on their own, and the two people you've spent the last ten thousand years having separate yet connected married & divorced arcs with and also btw one of them is god... honestly a threesome over the dinner table is probably The most well-adjusted reaction one might hope for under those circumstances

3) on a characterization level I think Augustine is actually doing something incredibly deliberate with it: he's presenting John with yet another chance to admit what he did. which is notable especially since the deal he and mercy agree on as a condition for the threesome to happen at all seems to be that they're going to give the ol' godslaying another game try sooner rather than later. (I get the sense that it's not so much that he disagrees with her ultimate goal so much as that he thinks she's being dangerously indiscreet and hasty going about it, before. “though I think it will be the death of us,” huh.)

notice how he's structuring the whole thing: he's invoking the intimacy and love in their strange little threeway relationship and how long it's been by truly playing along with john's 'we're a happy family really when we're at home! :)' delusion (helped along by lowered inhibitions via enormous amounts of alcohol and what I've previously described as a joint mercy/augustine leyendecker themed thirst trap. ah, a classic). he brings up alecto and what happened to her -- or rather, he is clever enough to make john bring up alecto and how she is totally dead, right?? by seeming to make a careless statement that leads there and then acting contrite about it after. he (helped along by mercy, who I think realizes exactly what he's doing -- this is very much a two-man con) brings up how much they all loved their cavaliers, and wow funny how that's been haunting us for ten thousand years now huh :) wow, a lot of our other lyctor friends slash family sure are super dead in the name of some unknowable greater reason neither of us quite grasp and that you won't fucking tell us, aren't they. these are all the main grievances he and mercy confront john about at the end of the book, but put forth much more subtly and not phrased as an accusation -- he's baring his and mercy's vulnerabilities as bait, essentially. if john had, say, a conscience where his conscience should be instead of a black hole, it probably should have stirred something in him.

(also let me just say... the way augustine just takes a pneumatic drill to the TWO tender spots g1deon seems to have and then has the audacity to be like 'oh dear. did that upset him. ooof my bad *loooong dead-eyed slurp of his wine*' is just sooo... he's such a bitch!!! he's the only person who could ever have held their own in a ten-thousand-year bitch-off with mercy and I love him so much. well even if it wasn't all to get g1deon into murder range for harrow I think he wouldn't enjoy sticking around for the 'getting our tongues on god' part of the evening so maybe it's a kindness, really, and totally not pent-up aggression from the last twenty years or so breaking through)

he is all but shaking john by the lapels begging him to just... come clean about it already, to stop thinking he's still kidding everyone else along with himself. it's clear throughout the book that augustine knows exactly what john is at this point -- and all of the most cynical things he does say about it turn out to be distressingly right. john is always less sentimental than you'd think. john wouldn't forgive mercy, he will abandon in a heartbeat anything that isn’t necessary to him anymore, whether emotionally or in some other way. and still he seems to hold out some desperate absurd hope that the man he wants, the man he thought was there, is in there, somewhere deep deep down, if he just gives him the chance to show himself.

(mercy definitely has her own side of this whole thing, I'm just focusing more on augustine because this evening was like. his idea in the first place and I feel like we can Read Some Things into that fact lol. now that we have both ntn and htn to go from I sort of have this sense that the things augustine wants from john are more... personal? more interpersonal? they both love him equally, but mercy's love seems tinged slightly more towards the religious (augustine accuses her of knowing 'only worship without adoration', which like... also the eight house's entire Vibe lol) -- mercy at the end of that book is totally a person breaking up with GOD, not just with john -- while augustine's vibe is more like a man in the last not-with-a-bang-but-a-whimper days of a marriage that sort of felt like it could have been something real and good once but all your illusions about it have since been taken from you and trampled underfoot into the mud and you've had the divorce papers signed and ready in a drawer for over a year now, hell, as it turns out, is other people etc. lmao)

having a threesome over the dinner table with god is one thing, having a threesome over the dinner table centered on the one man and god who has yet again let you down in a way so fundamental it can barely fit into words and who you both still love in a way anyway, miserably, and also just reaffirmed your joint resolution to murder (all under the pretense that it gives your baby sisters the chance to murder your brother of ten thousand years yeah that's why this is happening no other underlying aching emotional motivations here haha)... listen mercy and augustine are simply on a different level, theologically. they've added horny shrimp colours to the religious spectrum. who else does it like them

#the locked tomb #harrow the ninth #augustine the first #mercymorn the first #john gaius #dios apate minor #bad cop worse cop and sorry cop #augustine 'when I die I want john to lower my casket #not so he can let me down one last time that's honestly a given at this point #if at all possible I just want to pull him down into the grave with me' quinque #first saint to serve the king undying #nona the ninth spoilers #nominally? in that I am saying there's relevant information to this polycule clusterfuck in it? eh let's just be safe lol #just when you thought I had no more thoughts about the terrible old people to unleash upon you... here I am again hahaha #the locked tomb meta #also yeah I mean I guess they didn't actually have to get their tongues on god on-page for all this to still be true #but I'm glad they did let them have some lyctor enrichment #hate fucking is actually lyctor love language hashtag did u kno

[sysig]

Some highlights from a tense but still very Winterkov-y scene (Patreon)

#Doodles #Adventure Time #Fionna and Cake #Simon Petrikov #Winter King #Winterkov #The first five are all in sequence and then from there it's a bit sporadic #I dunno if this is one I'm gonna finish by they did both turn out very cute so I wanted to show some of them off lol #It's mostly a headcanon comic about how they differ in attractions (basically how much influence the Crown has on Winter) #I initially compared Winter to a slightly more chill Bill Cipher - a non-human entity inhabiting a human body #Probably tempered by how much Simon is still left over - not a lot but even a little does make a difference! #In that there's a lot of things the Crown might get out of a human body while still experiencing an entirely alien interpretation of stimuli #It's all just a lot of character analysis headcanon stuff lol - the Winterkov is still the main focus! Here anyway lol #I am very endeared at the idea posited by some fanfic writers that inviting Simon to the lab was just a pretense lol #He /did/ have to get out of his clothes before getting into new ones lol #They really do both have such lovely designs ah <3 They're fun to draw! #This was a lot of settling into them - I love the little floof-lifts that Winter has from Simon #His hair is long but it's still not completely able to weigh itself down from his voluminous bob! Very cute #The nose ears and shape of Winter's glasses really set him apart but their similarities are so fun #And while it's not featured here Simon's shy little smiles vs. Winter's big and loud expressions! Their contrasting features are so neat! #Very enjoyable character design

[crescentfool]

somehow i never drew the big cat from persona 3??? so here is ryoji and the big cat. as a treat.

#persona 3 #ryoji mochizuki #hi my name is lizz and i love cats! #minato arisato #<- he's there i guess #lizzy does art #WE'RE GOING TO PRETEND ITS STILL MONDAY. #i can't even use my oh so very behind timezone as an excuse its. its tuesday here lol #i meant to do this yday but i got distracted with moving things around on my computer #BUT THE SPIRIT IS STILL THERE!!! i am going to strive to do mochizuki monday to doodly the boy :) #i still need to readjust to drawing ryoji again so i will be using mochizuki monday to make sillies of him i hope everyone will enjoy!!! #i also have a sketch of minato with the big cat... i think i will color that after artfights done :3 #ALSO UNRELATED BUT. i have noticed that the ryoji havers are all have the trans flag in their icons... which one of u started this #THIS IS A POSITIVE THING BTW. i love seeing all of y'all lined up in notifs of ryoji posts and im like !! LOOK!!!! <3 #i've also seen that ppl are cooking in the fic tag... im so excited to read again i love u fic authors i blow u a kiss

[quinn-pop]

okay fine i’ll bring back the egg. sorry for the pun but i’ve been sitting on this for a while because i can’t decide what to name them

(thinking they/he???)

they love being warm and must be approximately as snug as a bug in a rug at all times <3

didn’t give much context before but we’re going with that the egg was abandoned in winter horns and recovered by a group of waddle explorers

there wasn’t a lot of (known) writing on dedede’s species so figuring out what to do from there was kinda hard and they didn’t really know anything for certain, but between a little research, a gut feeling, and dedede and mk already used to Parenting, they passed the egg onto them to look after and well. yeah

it was definitely a rollercoaster for dedede, to be given hope that there were others like him after all - so it was only natural he’d take it very seriously. he spends a lot of time with them and they’re very clingy because of it. he says they’re like a duckling

being so big also comes with problems because as clingy as they are, they outgrew being able to be held by other people pretty fast lol

“meta pls stop looking like ur gonna punt our kid”

anyway i guess i’ll introduce the other kid next? between the two of them uhh dedede had a very tiring few years. stay at home dad problems i guess. on top of being a king lol

he probably realized how grateful he was that kirby was so independent lol..

the real enemy is everyone (meta especially) having a busy schedule

#kirbyposting #i love getting carried away on ideas that were supposed to be small /gen #my art or something #meta knight #king dedede #metadede #how do you tag for fankids and ocs?? i have no idea #kirby oc #semi future au #omg oldee is in this post #if anyone has name ideas feel free to share #i couldn’t really strike a balance and find smth i liked #posting this for Wednesday because im not very impressed with it #so #happy cringe day Wednesday #i guess it’s kinda inherently uninteresting because they only really exist for a narrative #nothing new is being done here lol #buuuut since there’s a larger idea tied to this i feel i need to introduce them #and anyway! who cares if it’s interesting! two cakes or something #ill try to have the other post out soon I just wanted to save this for a wednesday #dedede is very tired in these doodles and i promise it’s just a coincidence lol #he might not be doing perfect but he’s doing good #and yes i am still avoiding redesigning him #bandee cameo wowie..

[kentopedia]

truthfully i want to back away from jjk but i don’t know how

#bc i still love nanami & want to write about him but #i don’t feel like i’m a part of the fandom anymore #& im okay w it i just want to have my own space on here #it’s just all i see allll the time and i’m kind of tired of it :( bc i don’t care anymore #i don’t get excited about it like i do bsd either :( #i also don’t just want to be known as a jjk blog which i feel like … i kind of am now maybe :/ #but like it’s ALLL people post about & i have a lot of jjk moots which i love so i’m not going to block anyone 😭😭 but i also wish i could #just like …. distance myself easier lol #it’s mostly the fandom too like idk i don’t like it #anyway sorry for the rant but if you’re wondering why i’m posting all abt bsd again all of the sudden this is why #i just realized it makes me a lot happier !! :3 to be more a part of that side of tumblr

[nursemimosa]

I feel like this has been posted before but this is what Larry says if you chose him as your favorite gym leader. (he was who I chose when Geeta asks you questions about the gym leaders post-game. Clever move telling them Geeta!) The detail about going to the park is cute. I wonder what specific park he likes to go to de-stress.

#i am here to collect Larry Lore (c) #sorry if this has been posted by others i have been avoiding every single tag i track for a week LOL #me consulting my sleep paralysis demon in my pink swag room if i should quit my job teehee #it makes me sad he thinks it's a lapse in judgement. no u have a lot of ppl who love u! #(though still real tho. i'm ur fav? sounds fake but ok. been there) #not to be a complete sentimental SAP but the overworked thing struck a chord w/ me.. i am not but i am going thru workplace drama #hence why i still relate to him. why is he me........ i hate this. thanks #pokemon larry #pokemon scarlet violet #pokemon scarlet and violet #larry pokemon #pkmn sv #mine #indigo disk spoilers #indigo disc spoilers

[formashimataichi]

Suetsugu-sensei’s post for Taichi turning twenty!

#mashima taichi #chihayafuru #official #someone who doesn't run away #sry i am like barely on here anymore lol but i still cherish and love him deeply

[doodleodds]

royalty & fairy tale au’s are meant to be mixed and u can’t change my mind

Late shuake week 2022 day 3 - Royalty AU

#shuakeweek2022 #akechi goro #kurusu akira #I JUST REALLY LOVE SLEEPING BEAUTY OK #or well. i love the idea of 'sleeping curses.' idk why! they've always fascinated me #i used to be obsessed with aurora and snow white for that reason #and so here i am! as always! projecting this interest of mine onto my favorite characters :) #also for reference because i just realized how weird it reads: goro's gonna be in the tallest tower when he's cursed #that's why akira's got a reason to climb it. so. yeah #also in case you were wondering why i said 'see you tomorrow with more art' and then proceeded not to post for.....four days: #1) work decided that i'm going to be doing more hours so i now have very little free time; #2) i decided to actually try my hand at coloring again like an IDIOT and now here we are. sigh. coloring is hard #i was trying to hard not to just overdose on comic dots again lol & it resulted in this nonsense. me and my one very textured stone wall #ANYWAY lmao even though i missed like. every single day of akeshu week so far i'm still gonna be doing the prompts #just at my own pace! so. hopefully expect more art. soon. ish. hopefully not with another uhhh 2 month gap like last year lol #also quick fun fact since you made it this far in my tags! that second page originally wasn't supposed to be there! #i drew sleeping goro just cause i could and i was just gonna stick him under a read more but then i got attached lmao #and now he's in the main post! :D yayyyyyy goro #ANYWAY that was super long. thanks for reading & i hope u have a lovely day!!!!

[kittyplushiezz]

needy streamer overload but make it with giorno for fun ^_^

bonus stuff :33 (read tags too if you wanna know a little more abt it...)

#jojos bizarre adventure #jjba #golden wind #vento aureo #giorno giovanna #fugio #pastel #pixel art #fanart #viv's art #TEEEHHEHEE I THOUGHT IT WOULD FITTTTT #i am kinda in love with the idea ohmyfart btw here it would be less messed up and more goofy n some other differences #haruno here aka gios past self would represent somehow like his dark past self n gio the one who he wants to fully be #not just to seem appealing to his viewers #become giorno in a happy n positive way #andd i thought he would turn into a streamer to spread the word of his dream as a future gangster #even tho every1 would like him for his pretty look and fun streams lol #FOR LAST fugo is as the player except its more wholesome between the two but still tries to manage the streams n keep gio sane 😊

[oceanwithouthermoon]

https://x.com/d3kutism/status/1741579841764475157?s=46

it should be illegal to be this fucking stupid so loudly and confidently omg..

mfs on the internet preach about "media literacy" yet they completely gloss over the fact that the only damn things that kusuo "canonically" is are a tsundere, an unreliable narrator, and a fucking liar LMFAOOO.. babe thats like basic reading comprehension, im sorry..

EDIT: it should go without saying not to send a person hate just because of a silly post like this one(+i dont have any reach anyway so im sure it wouldnt happen, but i wanna say this nonetheless lol) but i would just like to say that i just checked and realized that this person is 15 years old, so like... yeah, too young to be arguing with grown people on the internet. dont take this too serious or send this person hate pls lol..

#nobody who isnt aroace is allowed to tell ME what character has to be aroace #yall forget that we aroaces (+ESPECIALLY autistic aroaces) dont want or need your ugly white knight savior bs #'oh but im aroace n i also think hes aroace🤓' ok?? should i care about your hcs? #have your projection hcs or your regular random hcs- i literalky DONT care #but it becomes an issue when u try so desperately to defend it like this #like babe u sound so dumb☠️ #its so confusing to me how u chronically online weirdos insist on making ur hcs canon #i promise u guys ur hcs dont have to be canon for u to enjoy them #its a VERY popular hc too like tf more do u want #im autistic and aroace and i say kusuo is demi and autistic #i am him and he is me so i know factually/j #so still on the aroace spectrum but either way i dont force my hcs on other people like u selfish weirdos do LOL #also this person and the replies being like 'just cuz not all autistic ppl r aroace doesnt mean none can be' YEA OBVIOUSLY? #UR ARGUING WITH THE WALL AND ITS CRAZY CUZ NOBODY EVER SAID THAT #literally not one fucking person said he cant be aroace- just that it isnt canon #do u even fucking hear urselves.. YOURE the ones saying he cant be anything other than aroace.. so YOURE the one doing the forcing.. #u guys love pushing ur stereotypes on others and then defending it to high fucking hell #anyway sorry i dont have a public twitter so im saying my piece here #the link looks suspicious as hell twitter pwease give me a better link #saiki k #tdlosk #the disastrous life of saiki k. #saiki kusuo #meows post

[babacontainsmultitudes]

Here very messy unfinished Nicky sketch that I'm deleting in 5 minutes or so (and def not maintagging) for whoever is up lol

This is when I would say "I can't remember the last time I posted a drawing here" but I do it was that Glenn who got voided from the tags because the world wasn't ready for his honkers 😔

#I knowwwww he's a messsss #It's being caught between knowing my art is mediocre and wanting to share it anyways aaaaaaaa #god I cannot draw mouths for shit they are the death of me #Also need to eventually gather refs for bodies- didn't use one here and it shows lol #But the love was in it okay #Despite all the self deprication I prolly will finish this if only for me- I wanna give him tattoos haha #Am I wrong for thinking that Nick would be the kinda guy that would wear a belt but still his pants would sag? #“But baba why are you posting this just to delete it” to get back into the habit of posting my sketches cause it's so so hard for me #Only just starting to get back into drawing after quite a break from it too! #Not me hovering over “post now” for 5 actual minutes

[crescentfool]

i've been doing a bunch of tartarus runs in reload lately, and it got me thinking about how i miss certain ways FES's clunky gameplay can characterize minato… (ramble about the great clock mechanic + leveling up party members in reload vs fes under the cut)

when i got to yabbashah block in tartarus (block 3), i remember commending the developers for adding the great clock mechanic. it's a much more convenient way to keep party members at the protagonist's level- so when you think about p3 from the perspective of trying to make it easier for people to play, the mechanic succeeds in this respect.

but now that i'm in adamah block, and that i've done lots of my once-a-month tartarus runs… i think that i got a little too dependent on it, and the way that i played through reload feels like a vastly different experience from how i played FES.

in reload, my party's levels are very lopsided. minato, yukari, akihiko, mitsuru, and fuuka are all level 90+, meanwhile junpei and aigis are at level 79, and then… poor ken and koromaru are at 71 and 64 respectively. (i never got to have a great clock for them…)

meanwhile, in FES, my party's levels were much more evenly distributed and were at least level 90. i did all of this manually for every monthly tartarus run because i enjoyed having options available for the taratarus guardians and monthly operations.

with how i perceive minato, i feel that the way i played FES feels more in-line with his character than me dawdling around waiting for the great clocks in reload.

FES's gameplay loop left me with the very strong impression that minato has to work twice as hard as everyone else in SEES does. it makes sense because, yeah, he's the leader, but something about having minato run through tartarus multiple times with different groups of people just to make sure that they are adequately prepared speaks volumes about his character, to me.

and while the tired mechanic is present in reload to some degree, most notably with allowing you to freely raise your courage stat when you visit edogawa after school… the tiredness system doesn't hit the same way that FES does, i think.

the way your party members in FES will call it quits when they return to the entrance floor at tartarus when they're tired, versus minato, in spite of all his tiredness and sickness, still pushes through tartarus because it's his responsibility…. idk!!! i miss that! i feel like this really hammers home the difference between minato and the rest of SEES, how minato doesn't really see himself as a human with needs worth respecting as long as he's useful to someone.

i don't think that tartarus being tedious (in FES especially) is not what most people would describe as fun, and i can respect people thinking it's a slog. but, regardless of how it feels to play, it doesn't change that FES's gameplay loop is a fundamental building block in how i perceive minato��

of course, i do recognize that you can just opt to NOT use the great clock in reload (and it's great when players are offered the choice to not partake in mechanics)! i definitely think that if someone really wanted to, they could manually level up party members, but i do feel that kind of playstyle isn't necessarily "incentivized" to the type of people who are into playing games for Having a Good Time. it's kind of like… "why would you do that when there's a much more convenient option available to you."

in any case! despite my woes, i do want to emphasize that i'm glad that reload has a much more smoother gameplay loop than the original P3 did, because it does make the game more accessible to people. having played both FES and reload, it feels very strongly apparent to me how the core gameplay formula of persona has really been refined in the past 18 years (to think og p3 was 2006 and reload is 2024.. time flies!). and reload has made revisiting a story that i love so dearly much, much easier because the gameplay just bops!

at the same time, due to my "i miss characterization informed by weird and dated FES gameplay quirks" woes, i still think that playing FES is worthwhile. (really, i feel this way about all iterations of p3! i think it's worthwhile to see what each version and side media has to say even if it doesn't Land™ for you.) but i also understand why people wouldn't want to play it, so i will keep writing posts about things i liked from FES's gameplay because i'm still very fond of FES (especially in respects to minato. these mechanics are so telling about him!!!) 💪

#lizzy speaks #persona 3 #persona 3 reload #<- specifically mentions of mechanics. no added story content just tartarus talk #minato arisato #today on lizz life: lizz wakes up THINKING about minato for the NTH time and is compelled to write a tumblr post about it #tartarus in reload is excellent looking and fun but i keep thinking about what i liked about how FES characterizes minato so #here i am... LOL... with my 790 or so word ramble... im so normal about the blue boy #i needed to get my feelings out there somewhere i just could not stop thinking about HIM HE IS IN MY BRAIN 24/7 #me playing reload last night like 'minato would not fucking wait for a great clock to make sure that SEES is adequately prepared.' #and yet my sloth brain awaits the great clock... LOL gameplay convenience is not lost on me #i'm stuck in tartarus rn im grinding rubies and stuff trying to get equipment so i can throw hands with elizabeth its going to be fun #im still not done with this game i continue to be haunted by tartarus i fucking love that tower unironically #uh usually id ramble more in tags but. go read my post!! because i like analyzing FES gameplay mechanics!! i am full of passion and love!

[moregraceful]

accidentally invented a new form of no bedtime called 11pm glass of emergency-c + 4pm latte + 8pm cup of black tea + 9pm cup of black tea

#the real question is can i go to church on less than 5 hours of sleep and still function lol #i unlocked my instagram bc church wouldn't stop tagging me to direct people to me for stuff but that meant i had to delete a bunch of pho #tos AND rewrite a bunch of captions for photos i didn't WANT to delete bc i was too mean to random sharks prospects #which is fine if it is u know the anonymity of tumblr but not public instagram where my church won't stop FULL NAMING AND TAGGING ME #''anonymity of tumblr'' i doxx myself on here like 80 times a day in front of more people than i went to college with #anyway my point is i was going through deleting all evidence of politics pens fandom and legal documents and i was like damn #my attitude towards my team SUCKS. i gotta be way less of a hater!!! #what did my prospects ever do wrong besides everything NOTHING. the system is BROKEN. i am sorry i will be so much nicer guys :( #also if u really want to be humbled. scrolling back to 2012 on your instagram and re-experiencing senior year of college. BAD #i've deleted i think everything that would reasonably get our nonprofit status pulled but what a horrific journey it was #two full hockey intermission periods of deleting shit plus another hour at home doing several more passes and then rewriting captions #so that some poor 21 year old prospect randomly searching their name doesn't see me full ass call their teammate cringe #their teammate IS cringe. but i love him. but the nuances are lost on instagram people don't understand these things they take everything #at face value #don't know why i just assigned shakir mukhamadullin they/them pronouns #i think i need to go lie in bed with a blanket over my head until i suffocate #this ALWAYS happens i get too hype about mackenzie blackwood and start listening to selena gomez and then it's like almost 3am and i'm just #fresno oilers.txt #oh and. a friend sent me screenshots of the girl she's been flirting with on a dating app and they are SOOOOO cute #i hope they make a good run of it i really do bc it was SO cute. living vicariously through episcopalian lesbians as one does #but then i was trying to figure out how to edit my dating app profile to dissuade chasers but still honeytrap guys who are tall enough #or athletic enough to pick the tangerines at the top of the tangerine tree. bc i couldn't reach this week #but there were still like god maybe 150 tangerines on the tree. i was like this could be feeding people but i'm TOO SHORT #and my life will be like this. FOREVER #icb the future of this garden is so psychologically burdensome that i'm having to build it into a dating app profile lol #well now that i'd treated this entire tag set as twitter for and hour and a half #time to go try to lie in bed and stare at the ceiling and then wake up in [checks notes] four hours

[7-7-cherry]

ew04 mr.hc

#hypmic #hypnosis mic #samatoki aohitsugi #happy birthday yokohama bad boy or whatever. love u #i missed drawing him a lot actually. it's been a while #this is one of those drawings that i feel like i'm giving myself too much credit for but i rly am shocked how alright this turned out #that being said i continue to be frustrated by how shit i am at everything past solid coloring. shading is sooooo hardddddd #hence why i decided to post an un-rendered version here. the one with shading etc is on twt but i immediately regretted posting it lol #i just like this one better idk. the lineart is my fav part and it looks nicer here #but well... comparing this to my samatoki bday art from a year ago i'm relieved to see actual major improvement #i still want to draw more often and keep learning though. it's just been hard to find the time and mental capacity lately #7-7-cherry drawingz

[butwhatifidothis]

Ultimately, I think one of the worst things Hopes does wrt its writing of Claude is take out all of the complexities and contradictions that had made him so interesting to begin with.

OG Claude lies and manipulates people and closes himself off while still searching for the truth and wanting people to come together and be open with each other, because of how his traumas meld together with his dreams. He says that he'll do whatever it takes to get what he wants and shows off opportunistic tendencies and then buckles at the first sight of innocents getting hurt, because no matter how much he wants what he wants he still prioritizes the lives of the people around him over anything else. He knows of people's capacity to hurt others for petty or illogical reasons - was raised with that knowledge beating its existence into him - and yet still dreams of a world where people of different lands and cultures can still be friends, because that is how tightly he holds onto his dreams. He's a kind person with the capacity for being a dick, and his contradictions add on so much to his character; they in large part are his character.

Hopes Claude? He lies and manipulates people and closes himself off... and that's it. He says he'll do whatever it takes to get what he wants... and he does. He knows of people's capacity to hurt others for petty or illogical reasons... and has no real dreams of stopping it (or dreams of anything in the future really, by his own admission) and he indulges in that very behavior himself, seemingly without any awareness. He is untrustworthy, and manipulative, and opportunist... and that's it. What you see is what you get. And if this were a character unto themselves, if we're kind and we ignore all of the other issues with Hopes!Claude's writing, that would be a fun enough villain to follow around.

But it's not; this is supposed to be Claude. This is a character who has so much of his foundations be built on the idea that what he presents on the surface isn't all that he seems. That he's more than a character who is just "tee hee I'm only pretending to be nice but I'm actually eeeeevil evil evil evil evil evil evil," but someone who both uses kindness as a means to an end and embodies it genuinely. Warm yet calculated, a good man with real flaws - THAT is who Claude is. Hopes Claude is who Claude is if you strip him of any complexity - He Is Only Pretending To Be Good, But Actually He Is Bad.

He's just... easier to swallow, in a sense. Claude is a good person who is willing and able to do bad things, but only up to a very specific, very clear point, all for a good dream he's held onto for years and plans extensively to make a reality in the future; Clyde is a shit person who's willing to do everything short of bombing specifically whatever land he himself is ruling, all for what essentially amounts to no concrete purpose. There's no need to think about Clyde as hard, since he just does what he does because he's doing it and that's enough.

It's why I'm glad I am Dev-Approved to just fuckin' ignore Hopes entirely as a horrific fever dream, because Hopes does not understand what made Claude so lovable at all

#clyde discourse #like alongside ALL of the other issues with Hopes' treatment of Claude this one is just. a huge one for me lol #Underutilized as Claude was in 3H he was still SO interesting to think about! What he showed off was SO refreshing! #because he took the I am Not Who I Seem Tee Hee trope and turned it on its head #his strict moral boundaries and sincerity in his love for his pipe dream contrasted so well with his underhandedness and genuine flaws #he's manipulative! he can be opportunistic! he's secretive and yet he noses around other people's business! #he has qualities that are VERY flawed! #but he never goes too far; he never intentionally puts people in danger; he apologizes and tries to make up for his missteps #ultimately his pros outweigh his cons and he comes out a complex character #MEANWHILE #fuckin' CLAUTHEW over here #he makes so many people MISERABLE with his actions in the war and does not give a shit #he kills or otherwise threatens to kill anyone who gets in the way of him grabbing more power - even innocent people #he just closes his eyes and ears to ANY information given to him that contradicts his viewpoints #and slurps up any that validates his confirmation bias no matter HOW untrustworhy the source is #he is NOTHING. He's interesting in the same way getting hit in the face with a cinderblock sounds fun; IT ISN'T #just wanted to rant a bit about it lol