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#and he grew out of it and learned to respect her as someone to look up to and follow
bellezaycafe · 3 days
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sunsets and self doubt (and words left unspoken) - 2.
Main AO3 tags: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, 2024 Formula 1 Season
Sadie's Faceclaim: Maia Mitchell (but you can visualise her howver you want :) )
warnings: swearing, hints of romance (ugh).
comments: this is a bit of a filler chapter to characterise some things. enjoy :)
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Max Verstappen was passing the Mercedes hospitality and chatting to GP, his race engineer, when someone caught his eye. Dark brown hair, round face, sharp nose and an aura that compared to no others.
“Wait- hang on. Lewis! Lewis!” The older man, who had been leaving his hospitality, looked over and his gaze followed Max’s pointed finger. “Mate, is that who I think it is?”
“Yeah man, I think so.” Lewis’ smile only grew as he agreed.
“Who are you pointing to?” GP asked.
Max hoped that there were no cameras around as he said, “the volunteer from Australia. The good one.”
He didn’t know how else to explain his respect for her in English; to him, she was good.
“It’ll be good to finally learn her name,” Lewis mused, scratching at his neat stubble.
“None of you know her name?” the engineer asked.
“No,” Lewis said. “I never had the chance to find her after the interviews.”
“I saw her the next day, I apologised for my behaviour to her,” Max commented. “But I forgot to ask her for her name.”
GP shook his head. “Alright well, I’ll see you in the garage. Don’t be long.”
Max nodded respectfully while Lewis said, “thank you.”
Then they both charged through the crowd towards the last place they saw the woman.
“Bets on her name?” Lewis asked, zipping his Mercedes suit around his hips.
“I don’t know. Something very Australian?”
“I feel like she’s a Layla or a Nira.”
"I think it's Sadie," came Lando's voice as he squished himself between the champions. "I asked Dave, one of the McLaren staff."
But when they reached the spot she had been, she'd vanished.
Max frowned and tried to use his height to see her but it was hopeless. Lewis pulled his phone out of nowhere and dialled a number. Lando just sat on the edge of a nearby pot plant and, as if by magic, Oscar appeared beside him in a matching McLaren t-shirt.
"Heya," Lewis said into his phone. "I'm gonna need a paddock pass for our garage."
A pause.
"No, ass. I haven't found someone for the weekend and I don't intend to. It's for the girl from Melbourne, the volunteer George told you about... Yes, I know Carmen wants to meet her, that's why I'm asking you for a paddock pass."
Lando laughed from his seat, something boisterous and loud that had surrounding staff glancing over. Oscar was smiling like he was the reason for Lando’s outburst. Max was glad to hear the McLaren driver’s laugh again, it had been too long since they had hung out.
"No, I don't know her last name. I haven't even confirmed her first name... I can't ask her, she's not in front of me... I don't know where she is, we saw her from a distance... Max, Lando and Oscar... Alright, fine. We'll find her."
Lewis hung up and sighed with a glance to the sky.
"They won't give you a pass?" Max guessed.
"They need her name first."
"Did you see who she was with?" Lando asked.
"Yeah," Lewis said. "Some paramedics. I recognised Mark, he's been the on-call medic for years."
Max mulled over the fact he hadn't noticed anyone around her. He also mulled over the excitement little Lando Norris was trying to squash.
"I know where the medic tent is." He almost leapt up from his perch.
Oscar gave Max a knowing smirk as they disappeared into the crowd.
——$——
Sadie had no idea the drivers had seen her. She was hoping that none of the drivers would remember her. She still hadn't seen their interviews from Melbourne and was clueless about the actions the FIA had taken to hand out penalties efficiently.
"Hungry?" Mark, a middle-aged paramedic with greying blonde hair and smile lines besides his eyes, asked.
"I am starving, please tell me there is somewhere I can get a decent sanga."
Mark frowned. "Sanga?"
"Sandwich," Sadie corrected. She was almost bouncing as she spotted the food trucks.
"You Australians are weird," Mark quipped but he couldn't hide his smile.
"And you English are uncultured," she returned.
She liked Mark, they'd met yesterday during practices and clicked. He was her supervisor during the free practice sessions and qualifying but she'd stuck by his side off track too. He didn't mind, he knew she was there, on the other side of the world, alone.
He'd told her at the volunteer's group dinner last night that she was living the dream he had wanted to at 20. He'd had a couple wines and would not shut up about how much his wife would love to meet her.
"Mark, what do you want?" she called over her shoulder as the reached the sandwich truck. When he didn't reply, she glanced behind her.
He was 100 metres back, talking to none other than Sir Lewis Hamilton. Sadie turned back around, remembering her interaction with the drivers in Melbourne.
Another body stepped up beside her, swathed in bright orange.
Correction: Papaya.
Sadie didn't turn, assuming it was a McLaren employee looking for some early lunch.
"It's a surprise to see you here." Lando Norris offered the icebreaker.
She turned at his voice and fought to keep her composure. His brown curls swished as he turned his head towards her. Oscar’s equally brown eyes warmed as he smiled and waved slightly from the otherside of Lando. 
"I didn't think you'd remember me," she said truthfully. Sadie focused her eyes on the bridge of the older driver’s nose as she spoke, she didn't want to meet those ever-changing eyes. She'd already noted that they matched the day's grey sky.
"Most of us did." The driver shrugged. "Carmen, George's partner, wants to meet you. Lewis is trying to get you Mercedes paddock passes."
Sadie groaned at that, stepping closer to the food truck as the line moved forwards. "I'm not stepping near any of your garages unless I'm doing my job. Too many cameras, too many people."
Norris laughed. "Understandable, but Lewis is determined."
Sadie paused for a moment as the line moved again. "How about, I will come and meet Russell and Carmen after the race? I'll meet Carmen while Hamilton and Russell do their interviews and debriefs?"
The same brown curls swayed as Norris nodded. Piastri muttered, "I think they'll agree to that. All the cameras will be focused on the interviews and top three."
Sadie made an 'exactly' gesture and stepped up to the food truck with a goodbye wave.
By the time she had ordered her sandwich and Mark's signature wrap, the drivers had finished speaking with the paramedic.
He joined her while they waited.
"You never told me it was you who scolded Max in Melbourne," Mark noted.
Sadie muttered a curse. "I was hoping that everyone had forgotten about that. I lost my temper and I'm not proud of it."
"Lewis said that you stood up for yourself. Max doesn’t hold a grudge."
"I scolded him like a school teacher."
"You did call him a child."
"Angry, remember?"
"Sandwich and wrap for Sadie!" the food vendor shouted.
She stepped up, collected their food and handed her wrap to Mark.
"I didn't tell anyone about it because I don't like media attention," she told him, but she could feel her sweaty palms. "I hate how the media follows the drivers. They have to fight for a private life, and I hate that. Verstappen was angry, I was angry, and that interaction was something between the drivers and I. It had nothing to do with the fan's consumption of the race."
Mark hummed his agreement around his wrap. He hadn’t noted her shifting feet. 
"The media circus doesn't know what happened, and they don't need to. His reaction was fair, and they don't need to be involved."
Sadie watched something pass over Mark's face but she couldn't place what it was. She devoured her sandwich instead.
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credits to saradika-graphics for the banner :)
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aficionadoenthusiast · 4 months
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*me, with tears of frustration in my eyes* rick didn't include annabeth's crush on luke or luke's pseudo-crush on annabeth for no reason! it is not something that needs to be cut because it's 'gross'! it serves thematic purpose! it adds to characterization! guys! please!
annabeth is twelve, and luke is the guy she's looked up to since she was seven. she not only has that bond, but she has the admiration from him getting his own quest. she has a lot of hero worship going for him, and it's really not unreasonable that she would like him or even that she would think of him as more than a sibling. beyond that, it's a great example of how a person who has never received real, unconditional love can become unhealthily attached to someone who is not good for them just because they've been shown a modicum of respect. if you want to look at it from a percabeth perspective, it could even tie into how her character has to learn the difference between love and kindness from a place of love and respect (i.e. percy) vs love and kindness from a place of obligation and manipulation (i.e. luke as kronos' vessel)
on luke's side, especially with him calling her his little sister now (in the show) and him literally turning into kronos later, it's symbolism for how he's being pulled farther and farther onto the dark side. as kronos takes over his body, he sees her less and less as a sister and more and more of something else, something that would be considered dark and unhealthy by anyone not on the dark side (for good reason), until eventually she has to remind him of their years on the run when he considered her a sister: "Family, Luke. You promised."
you're supposed to be grossed out by it! that means the theme is working!
you're supposed to see a traumatized 12 year old with a crush on her 19 year old mentor and think, "hey, that's weird! i wonder if her not getting any love or attention until she met him plays a role in their relationship?" and eventually see a 24 year old get a villain-induced crush on a 16 year old and think, "hey, that's really weird! i wonder if his turn to the dark side and how that turn happened twisted his view of her?" and ultimately think, "i wonder what that says about the type of trauma that develops in kids who grew up thinking they were unloved, especially since the author specifically wrote the book for his son with disabilities, the author who used to be a teacher, a profession that regularly encounters kids that are actively being abused and neglected?"
anyway thanks for coming to my ted talk
edit: this post is not speculation! i'm not trying to say i don't think they're going to include annabeth's crush! i am perfectly aware that we are only two episodes in! this post is in response the people i keep seeing say they're glad because they think Luke's little sister comment means they're not going to include the "gross stuff from the books" (other's wording, not mine), and I was trying to explain why including it would be a positive. sorry, i really thought i made that clear
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eggluverz · 8 months
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Dan Feng's disciple! Reader x Dan Heng IL Synopsis Idea: She tried to stop them from taking him away from her, she really did. But Jingliu and Jing Yuan were quick to stop her. She spent so many nights alone... Until she saw him. The man she loved and would give up her life for. She's not letting him slip away from her this time. Thank you~~❤️
AFTER ALL THIS TIME
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PAIRING. dan feng x f!reader; dan heng x f!reader
WORD COUNT. 3,741
SUMMARY. you were the great imbibitor lunae's disciple. he trusted you with his life and you with his. but when the time came, you weren't able to save him. what happens when you run into his reincarnation years down the line?
SOF'S NOTE. i had so much fun writing this!! i wrote it 2 days ago now but i just haven't had the time to post it t-t but i'm finally moved into my new place and managed to squeeze this post in <3 i rly rly enjoyed writing this so i hope y'all enjoy reading!! and special ty to the anon who requested this!! ^-^
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The art of cloudhymn magic was difficult to master. Even as a high elder yourself, there were intricacies you could not figure out on your own. But you trained daily, practiced in seclusion, and read all the books passed down from the most renowned masters. 
Each day, your knowledge grew. Your natural talents aided you in perfecting your own personalized form of cloudhymn magic.
Still, Dan Feng noticed flaws in your execution. Movements that should be more precise, patterns that should flow more intricately. You noticed him silently watching you on the vast training grounds. He wasn’t much older than you, yet his magic was already intricately refined— The makings of a leader to the Vidyadharas.
He saw great power within you, he told you in passing as he took you under his wing. There was much you could gain from him, he promised. 
Years went by as you studied under Dan Feng. He has many supporters and people who looked up to him, but he only allowed you as his disciple. You were the only one who could rightfully address him as master. 
As he grew in his status as a member of the High Cloud Quintet and later the Imbibitor Lunae, you too grew in your mastery of cloudhymn magic. You were able to learn Dan Feng’s signature combat skill of deflecting iron, making arrows of most enemies fall flat at your feet. But your skill shined in the illusions you were able to create. Not even the Imbibitor Lunae was as skilled in that art as you. 
Your power grew and as such, Dan Feng recognized you as more of an equal than a disciple. Out of respect for all the teachings he imparted on you, you still called him master. There was no way you would reach your level of strength in this short amount of time without someone like him fostering your talents.
Along the way, you found yourself viewing him as more than your master. When he began treating you as someone who matched his power rather than someone with much to learn, you were able to feel confident in all your abilities.
One late night, Dan Feng took you to his sacred training grounds for a sparring session. He had just returned from a stressful battle and while the casualties were low, they were more than he felt comfortable with. 
“If anything happens to me, at least I will know the Vidyadhara will be in good hands,” Dan Feng commended as you blocked the tip of his spear from grazing the base of your neck. 
You quickly shifted your gears from defending to attacking, knowing if you let Dan Feng get too many attacks in, he would be almost unstoppable. Spinning your spear in your hands, you imbued the weapon with water and launched it directly at your master’s chest. 
A normal man would have fallen dead before even realizing you attacked him, but not the Imbibitor Lunae. He sidestepped, the scene appearing like a mirage due to his speed. 
“Nothing is going to happen to you, master,” you scoffed. “You’re the strongest Vidyadhara alive. Not even I could defeat you in battle.”
He hummed, tapping his spear to the back of your neck, signaling you lost this spar. “Battle is not the only way someone can fall.”
Wiping a bead of sweat off your forehead, you sighed, sauntering away from him and back inside his living quarters. “Continuously speaking of your self-proclaimed inevitable downfall is unbecoming of you, master. What would the people think of a disciple who follows someone without faith in his own ability to live?” 
Dan Feng chuckled softly. “A pitiful disciple, is what outsiders would say.” You nodded and he stopped you in your tracks, running his index finger against your jaw. His fingernail dug into the bottom of your chin to lift your head until your burning gaze met his sharp one. “But we never cared much about what outsiders think, did we?” 
You placed your palm against his chest, feeling the detailed fabric of his garments. They were thick yet light, a sign of great craftsmanship that only the highest of elders could afford. You allowed your hands to roam along his body before Dan Feng grabbed your wrist, his long fingers wrapping easily around its circumference. 
He smirked. “Wait until we’re indoors, my beloved.” 
“Yes, master,” you complied with a roll of your eyes before releasing the front of his outwear. You held complete respect for the Imbibitor Lunae, and you revered him as such. But those moments when it was just you and Dan Feng—just you and your partner—you weren’t one to shy away from meeting his biting remarks. 
This night, like many, led to moments of passion on the silken sheets draped over Dan Feng’s mattress. It was a mixture of love, respect, and the intense craving for more. 
Your master, the Imbibitor Lunae, a member of the High Cloud Quintet— Dan Feng was many things. But most importantly, he was yours. 
Until he wasn’t. 
No good thing was meant to last, Dan Feng once said during an endless night of reflection as he laid in bed beside you. Friendships, relationships, entire civilizations, built to be destroyed from the start. 
No good thing was meant to last. But he would fight his damned hardest to ensure they did. 
And for once, his hardest wasn’t enough. 
It was the middle of the night when your living quarters were barged into. You woke with a start and noticed Dan Feng quickly wrapping your robes around your naked body. 
The noises weren’t at the bedroom yet; you heard the thuds from outside and you immediately called for your strongest weapon. Noticing even the slightest of your movements, Dan Feng softly placed his hand on top of yours. Almost imperceptibly, he shook his head. 
Your eyes widened, wanting to ask what he could’ve possibly been thinking. There was a large group of men outside with hostile intent, did he not want to protect himself from an attack? 
“I am going to see what they need,” he said calmly, pulling you into his arms and leaving a kiss on your forehead. “Please, stay here for me.”
A few members of the High Cloud Quintet—Dan Feng’s closest friends that easily became yours as well—were staying at the guest chambers at the Imbibitor Lunae’s invitation. At the commotion outside, Jingliu came in with a groggy look on her face, tired from being woken up, but not an ounce of surprise in her. 
Dan Feng nodded to her and a silent Jing Yuan that filed in behind her. “Jingliu, Jing Yuan… Make sure she stays out of harm’s way.”
“Of course,” promised Jing Yuan, a soft smile painting his lips despite the sad look in his eyes. 
As he spoke, the doors to the bedroom burst open, a trio of Vidyadhara Preceptors breaking down the defenses you and Dan Feng had set. Your spear was in your hand in an instant and you tightened the knot on your robe with your other hand. 
Dan Feng stood straight in high alert, though his expression remained as one of nonchalance and arrogance. “Can I help you?”
Without a single moment spared for niceties, the Cloud Knights charged in to grab the Imbibitor Lunae. The Preceptors sent chains of rope instead of metal to wrap around Dan Feng. Your eyes blazed as you immediately called upon your cloudhymn magic. Water danced around your spear in sharp droplets, and you pointed it directly at the Head Preceptor. 
He narrowed his eyes in your direction. “Stand down, or you will face the same punishment.” 
“That’s only if you can beat us,” you laughed with disdain. Despite the big group, you were certain you and Den Feng had the ability to hold them off together. 
“Don’t,” Jingliu called out, gently placing her hand on your shoulder. “We can’t help him anymore, Y/N. Not after what he did. Don’t get hurt in the crossfire.” 
You knew what Dan Feng had done. For Yingxing. And you both knew the crime he would have to commit to help his best friend, but you never imagined the punishment would be so severe. A crowd of Cloud Knights and even a group of the Vidyadhara Preceptors here, together, all to subdue the Imbibitor Lunae. 
But it didn’t matter the crimes he committed or the consequences he may have incited through his actions. None of it mattered because he was your Dan Feng. Your master and your lover who you would protect with your entire life. 
Unfortunately, Dan Feng seemed to know that, having gotten Jingliu and Jing Yuan here to hold you back.
Before you could move, Jing Yuan held your arm back and prevented you from using your spear. Your eyes widened in shock. 
“Jing Yuan…?”
“I’m sorry, Y/N. It’s too late for Dan Feng, but not for you.”
The Cloud Guards briefly turned their attention towards you and the members of the High Cloud Quintet. Their swords raised as they noticed the fire in your eyes. 
Dan Feng snarled when he saw their focus on you. “If you hurt her, you will all pay,” he warned, his voice a low growl that would’ve made an ordinary man quiver. He began to move his arms in a way that could only be described as the start of a cloudhymn spell and in an instant, all eyes were on him. The ropes tightened, restricting his movement in a way that caused immense pain. 
“I love you,” were Dan Feng’s last words as he was forced out of his own estate. “Take care of yourself, my beloved.”
“Why do you speak as if you’re going to be gone?” you cried, refusing to believe someone as strong as your master could be subdued even by a group as large as this. “I’ll come get you—!”
You felt the sharp point of a sword on your neck as you summoned your spear. The nick was only a warning, but it was enough to draw blood. Your eyes widened and you stilled under the mercy of Jingliu’s weapon. 
“I’m sorry,” she said. “You cannot.”
Feeling helpless and pathetic, all you could do was fight to not lose consciousness as Jingliu swiftly knocked you out. 
Your eyes drifted open and shut, your hand that was wrapped around your spear instantly loosened and the weapon that contained so much power fell at your side like a dull needle. 
The next time you woke, you were at your own residence. You had left this place to have a sanctuary with Dan Feng. Your sanctuary that was invaded, attacked, and taken from you. 
You went back on forth between two states of mind. One was complete and utter numbness at the loss you suffered. The other was uncontrollable pain and sadness. 
You spent your days and nights crying, refusing to see a single soul. You turned your meals away even when your loved ones begged you to take a bite. There was a hole in your heart at the thought of your master’s punishment. 
In your eyes, Dan Feng’s own best friends betrayed him, betrayed you. And after that night, you knew you would never want to be in contact with any of them again. 
To save a life, to save a friend who no longer regarded Dan Feng in the same light… You never could have imagined the punishment would be forced reincarnation. 
Uncontrollable sobs racked through your body, throat hoarse from the amount of crying you’ve done for weeks straight. It wasn’t only forced reincarnation, but also torture and imprisonment you knew he was facing. 
You had the strongest Vidyadhara alive as a master, yet you failed to learn enough to save him. When it mattered most, you couldn’t help.
Days turned to weeks, weeks turned to months, and months turned to years. Those thoughts ate you alive before you were able to finally continue on with your life. 
You were no longer a Xianzhou resident. You refused the help the Vidyadhara with any advances in medicine and combat, keeping any profound knowledge of cloudhymn magic that Dan Feng shared only with you to yourself. The Preceptors couldn’t be trusted with anymore power. They had made themselves and enemy to you. As did the Cloud Knights, and inadvertently, the Cloud Knight General himself. 
Still, you tried not to let the hatred consume you. Vengeance would only breed insanity. Your mind would be consumed with sorrow and pain and you would never be able to heal. 
Dan Feng wouldn’t want that. 
You had to continue to live, for the both of you. 
Using your privilege as a Vidyadhara, you were able to travel around to different planets with relative ease. There were so many things to experience, such beautiful things to see—when you weren’t tangled in constant politics and battles. Your only wish was that Dan Feng was here to explore the universe with you. 
There were places where he didn’t need to have the pressure of the world on his shoulders. He wouldn’t be Imbibitor Lunae. He wouldn’t be a member of the famous High Cloud Quintet. Instead, he would just be Dan Feng, and you would get to explore the world as such. 
You wondered if his transition into the modern world would have been as smooth as yours. As you reminisced about your past, a nostalgic smile formed on your face. 
As you walked around this new city, you stared up at the flurries of pink and purple in the sky. The scenery was amazing here. With vast bodies of water and a bustling area of commerce and entertainment on the shorelines, you couldn’t help but look around in awe. Amidst your sightseeing, you felt yourself run into someone, dropping the map you held in your hands. 
“Oh!” you gasped in surprise. “I wasn’t looking at where I was going. I apologize.” 
“I wasn’t looking either,” the stranger said in response, picking the paper map up for you before the wind could sweep it away. “Here you go.”
As he handed you your belongings, you finally managed to get a good look at his face. Surprised by what you saw—what you felt—you accidentally dropped the map once more. 
The man gaped at you before hesitantly reaching down to pick up your map once more. This time, he held it instead of giving it back.
“Would you like your map back?” he asked slowly, this expression unsure.
The memories of the past slammed into you as you looked into his turquoise eyes. The bright green burned into yours. This man in front of you did not have the characteristics of a Vidyadhara. He did not don horns, a tail, or sharp ears like he once did. But there was no doubt in your mind— This was Dan Feng. At least, the person that emerged from Dan Feng’s forced reincarnation.
Tears started flowing down your face as you wondered what to say. Should you even say anything? You didn’t want to lose him again, but you wondered if the man in front of you would even want to get to know you. Dan Feng was a high elder, a powerful one at that. This man must’ve had some dreams about his past life— What if they were bad? What if they were all of the punishment? The crime? What if no part of him remembered you?
As you stood there, stuck in your thoughts, you noticed the stranger staring at the horns on top of your head. Then, at your tears. 
Without saying a word, he seemed to understand. “I’m not him.”
Your breath caught in your throat and you felt choked up. You knew that. Of course a reincarnation wouldn’t be your Dan Feng. But would it be close enough? 
Shaking your head, you scolded yourself internally. This man is not Dan Feng, he said so himself. And it would be twisted to project the qualities of your lover onto him without even getting the chance to know him.
“I know,” you said sadly, a disdainful smile on your face. “I just…sensed some of him in you.”
He nodded, a guarded look on his face despite the tilt of curiosity from his neck.“What were you to him?”
You smiled sadly, clutching the map in your hands and relaxing again. “His disciple. A close friend,” you said. You gazed into his eyes with an unwavering look. “His partner.” 
“I’m sorry.”
“You have nothing to apologize for.”
He hesitated for a moment, looking around the area. You were at the beachside with patches of sand, grass, and pavement lining the ground. “Would you like to sit somewhere and talk?”
Deciding it would be rather tiring for you to stand and talk all day, you agreed with his suggestion. Silently, you walked over to the sand with Dan Feng’s reincarnation in tow and took a seat. The ground was warm and soft as you ran your fingers through the rocky granules.
As you watched the waves crash against the shore, you felt your body relax. Cloudhymn magic often   well with the element, and you found you had a natural affinity towards it yourself. 
After a few moments passed, you figured that, since he wasn’t Dan Feng, it would be rather rude of you not to introduce yourself. “I’m Y/N, by the way.”
He gazed out into the water before turning his head to you. “Dan Heng.”
Although you attempted to hide your amused grin, you felt the corners of your mouth lifting upwards. “Creative.”
He shrugged, fighting off a smile of his own.
“So, Dan Heng… Do you remember anything about your past life?”
“Some things,” he admitted, resting a palm on the sand behind his back. “None of them are good.”
You frowned. There was no doubt you blamed the Preceptors for that. Dan Feng lived years and years of life, love, and even sorrow. But for his reincarnation to only know him as something negative? That didn’t sit well with you. 
“Although, I have to wonder,” he continued, gazing at you with an inquisitive look in his eyes, “if he was capable of love and partnership, could he be more than the arrogant criminal my memories have painted him out to be?”
You softened. Any hatred he felt towards Dan Feng wasn’t his fault. And he was certainly struggling as Dan Feng’s reincarnation. 
“He was certainly more than a criminal,” you promised. “More than the Imbibitor Lunae, even. Dan Feng was a real person who experiences emotions and feelings, like any other.” 
Dan Heng’s brows furrowed, but he said nothing. 
“If you want to learn more about him, I’ll always be here for you to ask.”
“And if I don’t?” 
You smiled sadly. “As much as that pains me, it’s your right. Each Vidyadhara can choose how much of their past they want to remember or embrace— Or if they want to start anew completely.”
“I do.”
A long exhale escaped your mouth as thoughts of your past filled your memories. You made no mistake— The man in front of you was not Dan Feng. Dan Feng was deceased, and holding on to any hope would only be futile and lead to more main. 
Instead, the man in front of you was Dan Heng, a reincarnation of Dan Feng. A Vidyadhara who deliberately chose to not incorporate his past life into his current. And that was okay.
“I am remorseful,” you admitted. Dan Heng nodded in understanding. “However, I am comforted knowing his reincarnation is here, and he looks happy. Dan Feng would be happy for you.”
He laughed quietly. “I find that hard to believe.”
You gave him a look. “You don’t know him like I do.” 
“Yes, you’re right.” 
Dan Heng sighed in contemplation, conflict evident in his expression. You weren’t sure what exactly what he was thinking, but you sensed deep turmoil within him. It was only natural, you assumed, after something he had such conviction for was shaken at its very foundation. 
“Do you want to board the Astral Express with me?” he asked hesitantly. 
You blinked at the sudden question. “Pardon?”
“Sorry,” said Dan Heng, clearing his throat. “That was impulsive.” He paused before continuing. “From talking to you, I gathered that maybe you’re being held back by your past, too.”
Your eyes widened in surprised. You didn’t except him to be so blunt. Perhaps he had some similarities to Dan Feng after all. 
“If you’re lost or want a place to call home, maybe you can pay it a visit,” he offered nonchalantly. “We travel the universe and occasionally assist some planets. I have a feeling you’d like it.”
The Astral Express? You wondered how a place like that would be. For so long, you’ve been traveling alone, avoiding the Xianzhou and even some Vidyadhara who might know of your existence as Dan Feng’s disciple and lover. 
A part of you longed for a social connection again— A place to belong. 
After some thinking, you asked, “Do you want me there?” 
“Yes— As Dan Heng though,” he reminded firmly. “Not Dan Feng.”
You laughed in amusement. “Good. I’m interested in getting to know your new life, Dan Heng,” you said, extending your hand out for him to shake. “Thank you for inviting me in.”
He took it gently, his hand lingering on yours even after the handshake was over. “Maybe you can tell me more about Dan Feng once we arrive at the Express. The parts that aren’t so bad.”
The look on his face told you he was genuine. You smiled. “I’d love that.”
Understanding passed between the two of you as you sat there in contentment. The wind whirled around you and the steady sound of the waves soothed your soul. 
“I want to learn about Dan Feng’s life,” concluded Dan Heng, unwavering. “Still, I think it is best if we look forward to making new memories of our own more.”
You nodded in quiet agreement, eyes never leaving his. 
The past was something you held near and dear to your heart. Dan Feng was someone you would always love and respect. But perhaps the future would have more in store for you, if you only allowed it. 
And as Dan Heng smiled his small smile and offered you a hand up from the sand, you thought, This time, you would. 
2K notes · View notes
ltleflrt · 21 days
Text
Figuring out I'm on the ace spectrum was so difficult because I have always been a horny bitch. I knew what sex was at a fairly young age, because I'd asked my mom and she's one of those good parents who'll answer questions like those, and as I grew older and would ask more complex questions, her answers would evolve along with my curiosity and understanding of the world. And I remember having fantasies as young as 9 or 10 years old, even if they were hella vague and nothing close to what sex actually is lol
So as I became a teenager, and all my friends' focus turned from playing with dolls to flirting with boys, I automatically thought I was attracted to boys. And I paid more attention to Cute Boys than I did to Cute Girls, because girls were just nice to look at while boys were People To Have Crushes On. Because of heteronormativity. Looking back on it now, I know there were girls I liked to stare at just as intently as boys, although less often because I wasn't trying to pay attention. And I certainly didn't fantasize about girls because I started reading romance novels in 5th grade, so I was fantasizing about male romantic partners because that was the fiction I was consuming. I didn't even realize fantasizing about girls was possible until I was 17, and I had a few "am I a lesbian" internal crises for years because of it.
So when I did start having sex, I had A LOT OF IT with SO MANY different guys, and eventually a couple of women once I started accepting that bisexuality was real. But it was never really fulfilling. Not like my fantasies were. Not like my books were. I was slutty because sex was fun, I was horny, there were plenty of options so I kept searching for that satisfaction I was craving.
Getting married was a relief (even though it turns out I'm aro-spec too lol) because I was tired of hunting, and even if sex with my husband was meh, at least I had someone around to scratch that itch if I had it, and he didn't mind if I occasionally took care of things on my own because I'd read an especially hot scene in a romance.
I learned about asexuality in my early 20s, but I brushed it off. Couldn't be me, I'm far too horny for that. But I think that comes from the fact that everything you hear about Aces is attached to sex-repulsion or sex-indifference. I wasn't either of those things. I was horny all the dang time. I was fantasizing about sex all the dang time. I figured actual sex was meh because my imagination was so vivid that real life could never match up. Which could be true to an extent, but I think not as much as popular opinion would have us believe. If fantasy was really that much better for everyone, then I think we'd have less incels and unplanned pregnancies than we do.
In my 30s I finally saw people talking about The Spectrum, and I started examining my past, and I figured out I wasn't really attracted to anyone I had sex with. I do occasionally find someone attractive; there are men and women and enbies who make my skin feel tight and give me a little wave of lightheadedness lol... but it's always always the fantasy that gets me really going. If given the opportunity I wouldn't have sex with any of those people. Thank you, but no thank you, I'd rather just imagine it than physically participate in the act with them.
(Ok I might go down on them, but that's less about wanting sex, and more about being able to add them to my Tally. Hell yeah I want to brag about making *insert hot person* have an orgasm. There's PRIDE in that kind of accomplishment lol)
I have a lot of respect for aces that are not horny. I understand it even if I don't share the sentiment. And I feel like most of them understand me even if they don't share the sentiment. There's a solidarity between us.
Until I go into a fandom tag for a character that the aces have glommed onto because they're canonically ace or headcanoned as ace. Good lord, the non-horny aces can turn into downright vicious bastards if a horny ace sexualizes their blorbo.
This post is for them.
Horny aces exist. Please look up "autochorissexual, lithosexual, and aegosexual."
Refer to those definitions in regards to romantic attraction as well as sexual attraction.
Some aces may not fall into one of those definitions, because asexuality is a spectrum, but they may still be horny.
Horny aces are not disrespecting you by enjoying being horny on main. We promise we'll wash the stickiness off our hands before we hold your hands in queer solidarity.
And most importantly: Your blorbo is fictional and does not need to be defended from icky sexuality. They exist in an infinite multiverse, so your blorbo and my blorbo are not the same, even if they appear to be on the surface.
AND:
This post is also for the people who are confused about themselves because they're horny but don't actually feel attraction. You're not crazy, you're not wishy washy, you're not "waiting for the right person to come along" (unless you are, in which case I hope you find them). You're just a thin strip of color on a massive rainbow that holds more unique shades than anyone can perceive at a glance.
You're valid. You're one of us too.
And don't be mean to the non-horny aces. Tag your smut so they can avoid it. (But actually so I can find it lol)
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gucciwins · 5 months
Text
birthday blues
Y/N doesn't celebrate her birthday. Harry wants to change that.
Word count: 9381
A/N: it's my birthday! and I thought you deserved something nice. I feel sometimes birthday can be very up and down. somehow tears come by every year. I always wanted to write a birthday story and what better day to post it than on my birthday.
warnings: mentions of a parent death
happy reading!
+
365 days
That’s how long it took the sun to rotate the earth. That was also how many days it took for Y/N to turn a year older. 
Birthdays are meant to be celebrated with family and friends. Where they shower someone with gifts cake but mostly love. It’s something Y/N hasn’t felt since she was young. Her mother made sure Y/N was reminded that the sun shined bright for her. She made all her dreams come true until she couldn’t. Y/N lost her mother, Isla, to cancer. She fought a long battle, but it seemed losing her mother meant losing her father as he lost the love of his life. Her older brother, already close to eighteen, understood loss but didn’t realize how grief could change a person because as soon as Caleb turned eighteen, he was gone. Only calling during the holidays but never coming home. 
Y/N saw how others were celebrated on their birthdays as she grew up, from being invited to birthday parties to the grand gifts they would receive, primarily knowing that her friends had someone show up for them. That never happened for Y/N. 
She moved away from home for university, and there was no argument from her father. She began her life where she hoped to create a family of her own, and with time, she had. Y/N never believed in having a large group of friends, but wherever she went, she made a friend along the way. 
Aurora is Y/N’s best friend. She met her at a book club, their local bookstore hosts. Y/N complimented her fiery red hair; Aurora took one hard look at Y/N and claimed they would be best friends. Y/N brushed her off instead asking her out for coffee, and well, it seemed Aurora was right. She always is Y/N had come to learn. 
With Aurora in her life came new friends; she was invited to dinner parties, coffee days, and to join in on mundane errand days. Y/N had never felt so invited and loved by her friends, but she made sure to give it right back. When it was Suki’s birthday, Y/N knew she wanted an ice skating day with all their friends but could never convince everyone to go; well, Y/N turned on the charm, and off they went. At Edward’s graduation party, she brought his favorite cake from the bakery across town. For Tina, she found a vintage sweater she had been searching for since she was seventeen and learned who Vivienne Westwood was. Y/N was the friend who went above and beyond for everyone because she knew they deserved it.
Year after year, they would ask Y/N to celebrate her birthday or accomplishments, but Y/N always promised them she didn’t like celebrating her birthday. After two years, her friends decided not to fight it and respected her wishes. She’d start her day the same way each year: head to Heart Coffee to buy a croissant and an oat milk vanilla latte. She’d head to the park, where she’d sit by the lake, seeing all the people run by. Then she’d cook herself a small meal and stay home to watch her favorite show (Parks and Rec). It’s a simple plan, one she liked and her friends respected. Her friends would get her gifts, sometimes books, kitchen supplies, or even the sweater she had been eyeing and saving up for, but that’s as much as she allowed to be celebrated. 
Then Harry came into her life. 
Aurora was having a bonfire to celebrate the start of Summer. Y/N loved the beach, searching for shells, and mostly, being in the water. Y/N had offered to help set up because she wanted to maximize her time in the water. Her mum always told her she was born a mermaid in another life for how much she loved water. Y/N spent her time in the water, and once she felt the sun begin to set (Aurora yelled for her to come in), she took a final dive and dashed to her car to change into warmer clothes. As she was closing her car’s trunk, Y/N bumped into someone. She quickly apologized, knowing she was in a hurry to return to her friends because she was hungry. 
“My fault,” a strong voice responded. 
It sent chills down her back. She looked up to meet his eyes and found mossy green eyes staring at her. “Sorry,” she apologized again. “I’ve got to go.” Y/N pointed behind her to signify she had people waiting for her, and before he could stop her, she ran off. 
Y/N tried to brush away his pretty face, but her brain seemed frozen. She’d never seen someone so pretty. He had curls peeking out behind his hood, and his long eyelashes were something she’d forever be jealous of while she’d dream of what his pink lips might taste like. Y/N, with a drink in her hand, allowed herself to escape to her thoughts. 
“Babes, you’ve got a pretty tan going,” Aurora commented as Y/N set her bag down.
Y/N felt her face warm, knowing tomorrow she’d be more burnt than she liked, but being in the water was worth it. 
“So the mermaid has legs,” Frannie teases Y/N as she sits in the sand. 
“So it seems. Got any gummy worms?” Y/N plays along, knowing her friend would understand the significance of the candy from one of their favorite movies.   
There was a lot of chatter going around. She patted Frannie’s thigh, telling her she was getting another drink, but before she could do that, Tobias, Aurora’s boyfriend of two years, called for her. 
“Y/NNNNN!” She giggled because it was clear he was a few drinks in. “My sweet baby, I want to introduce you to my friends. We’re in a band.” 
“Were.” A man with an Irish accent answers. 
“Shush, Niall. Y/N loves musicians.” 
Y/N rolls her eyes, “only if they play the piano,” she corrects. 
She turned to look at the people Tobias wanted to introduce her to, and she took a deep breath when she recognized the guy with the gray hood, a smirk on his face.
“Right, whatever. My good mates from left to right are Niall, Sarah, Devon, and Harry. Mitch is off getting drinks. He’s the dude with really long hair. You’ll see him,” Tobias assures her. “Now, this is my best mate Y/N.” Y/N giggles. “Don’t tell Aurora, she’ll fight anyone who calls Y/N her, and I quote “bestie.””
Y/N hums in agreement. “It’s lovely to meet you all.” She shakes their hand in greeting. She saved Harry for last. Y/N tries to hide she’s looking at his long fingers, but when she looks at Harry, he’s staring at her with a wide smile. 
“Piano hands.” 
Y/N feels her face flush because he’s referring to the comment she made a few minutes ago. She takes a step back and excuses herself. “Off to get a drink. It was lovely to meet you all.” 
Harry steps forward as if to follow her, but Tobias stops him with a shake of his head. Always protective. She looks over her shoulder and finds Harry already staring at her. She laughs to herself. Maybe she’ll get the courage to talk to him after two more drinks. 
One drink later, Y/N was watching the waves crash in when she heard someone coming closer. She thought it was Aurora who was escaping the loud music for a moment, so she patted the seat next to her, but to her surprise, it was Harry. 
“Hi,” she greeted softly. 
“Hi, Y/N.” Harry smiled at her. “You’re hard to get alone.”
She rolls her eyes playfully. “That’s Mum and Dad for you.” 
“They’re protective of everyone like that?” He asks.
“Yes, but more so me.”
“Is it because you’re too sweet?” Harry asks curiously.
“Or to mean,” she counters. 
Harry laughs, “I doubt that.” 
Y/N turns her body to look at him, squinting her eyes suspiciously. “You don’t know me.” 
He shrugs, “I don’t, but you shook my hand when we met. Don’t think that’s happened in such an informal setting.”
Shit. 
Y/N lets his words sink in. So it was weird to shake hands, but her mum always taught her to be polite, and she'd shake their hand if she couldn’t be a hugger. Were handshakes weird? Did that mean Harry thought she was strange? Well, there goes her chance with him.
“Y/N, Sweets? Where’d you go?” Harry calls for her attention, seeing her lost in her head. “I’m that boring, huh?”
She’s quick to shake her head. “Sorry. That was so rude of me.” 
“Only teasing.” 
“Don’t like the party?” Y/N gestured behind them, knowing that was much better than sitting with her. 
Harry scoots his hand closer to hers, only an inch apart the slightest movement, and they’d be touching. “I meant it when I said you’re hard to get alone. Aurora asked me fifty different questions, and one was about my car insurance.” 
Aurora was odd, but she always had her best interests in mind. 
“Think she’s scared I might get taken away from her.”
“She did say something about 60/40.” 
Y/N lets her head fall into her lap, “that’s embarrassing.” 
“Take it everyone’s sweet on you, Sweets.” 
Y/N feels herself melt at the moniker. Harry is too charming for her, but it doesn’t mean she doesn’t want a chance.
“Are you?” 
Harry takes it in stride. “Definitely.”
“Hmm…”
Harry takes her silence as rejection. “Take it, it’s not mutual?” 
“I’m afraid you never asked me a question.” She feigns innocence. 
Harry grins, “would you like to go on a date with me?” Y/N stays silent. “How’s that for a question?” 
Y/N stands up, brushes away the sand, and offers her hand to Harry. He takes it, careful to not pull her off balance. “Yes.” 
She walks back to her friends, leaving behind a stunned Harry. 
“Did you say yes?” He yells, hurrying to catch up. 
“I did.” 
“Why?” 
Y/N laughs, confused. “Was I supposed to say no?”
“Tobias assured me you would say no, so I thought no harm in trying.”
Y/N steps close to Harry, removing any space they head between each other. “Listen here, Harry. As much as I love Tobias, he doesn’t speak for me. So, if you ever have a question for me, just ask.”
Harry nods. 
“Good. Now I’d love a s’more, care to join me?” 
Harry, enamored by Y/N, is quick to agree.
He spent the remainder of the night glued to Y/N’s side. He couldn’t get enough of her. He wanted to know everything about her, from her birthday to her favorite number. She asked him about the pets he had growing up and who his three favorite female artists were. Y/N told Harry his answer could change her response to their upcoming date. Harry named Stevie Nicks, Kacey Musgraves, and Megan Thee Stallion. Y/N told him she approved. He sighed in relief, telling her that his heart was close to beating out of his chest. 
Harry’s friends began to pack up to leave, but he noticed Y/N didn’t, so he stayed put Y/N tucked against his side and said it was time for him to go, sensing all the looking Harry’s friends were directing at him and he was ignoring.  
“Don’t want to leave you alone.”
“I’ve got my friends, Harry. I was fine before you and will be fine once you leave.” 
Harry frowned, “fine isn’t good enough.” 
“You’re a tough cookie.” 
Harry makes no move to get up.
“I’ll make you a deal.”
He perks up, “I’m listening.”
“You text me when you make it home.” Harry nods eagerly. “I’ll text you when I make it home. If you’re awake, I’ll let you call me to wish me goodnight.” 
“I’ll be awake,” he promises.
Y/N doesn’t know how true that is, but it does get him to finally follow his tired friends to their car. She watches him walk away when Aurora comes up behind, resting her head on Y/N’s shoulder. 
“Tobias bet me $50 bucks he could keep Harry away from you.” 
“What did you do, Rora?” 
“I offered him a blowie if he let you be,” Aurora laughed, “I saw the sparkle in your eye. Don’t love him more than me is all I ask.” 
Y/N giggles, “I wouldn’t dare.”
“Good. I told him 60/40, but 70/30 is a better deal for me.”
Y/N felt like throwing up. She changed her outfit three times, restyled her hair twice, and messed up her eyeliner for the first time in months. Her date with Harry was tonight, and while she had a massive crush on him, her nerves were getting the better of her. 
Before she could change her outfit another time, her phone rang, notifying her of a knock on her door. The security camera she had installed was a significant help. She pulled up the app on her phone and saw Harry wearing a black knitted sweater with two swans kissing. A bouquet of flowers in his hand. He kept pacing the front door, and Y/N felt settled, knowing he was nervous, too. 
First dates can be awkward, and small talk is boring, but as soon as she opens the front door, Y/N knows it’s different. Harry shows her a bright smile, telling her how beautiful she looks. Y/N lets Harry open her car door; for dinner, Harry decides to take her to his favorite Italian restaurant. It’s ten minutes from the beach. It’s a family-owned establishment where all the dishes are made from scratch. Harry promised Mama D’s offers a pink sauce that’s to die for. Y/N let Harry order for her, and she was not sorry; the food was delicious. She knew she would return, but that wasn’t the best part. No, it was spending time with Harry. 
She learned how smart he was. He is constantly reading a new book, whether poetry or history books; he always has his hand on something new. Y/N proudly told him she loved her romance books, that she had only recently begun to get into fantasy, but that her favorite series growing up was “The Hunger Games.” She went on a slight tangent explaining what the books meant to her and how, from time to time, she would pick it up to read it all over again. When she realized she had probably said too much, Y/N felt her face burning and wouldn’t dare to meet Harry’s stare.
“Sorry,” she apologized. 
Harry shakes his head, “no, don’t do that.”
“What?” Y/N asks confused. 
“Apologize for what you’re passionate about. It’s a part of you; don’t make it seem insignificant,” his words settled deep in her heart. “I could write you a ten-page essay on why The Notebook is one of the best romance movies to exist.” 
“With citations included?” Y/N teased, easing the tension she was holding. 
“Well, of course,” Harry plays into her banter. 
It’s clear by the end of the date that Y/N is head over heels for Harry, and the feeling is mutual. Harry sat across from Y/N at the start of the meal, but after their dinner and a glass of wine, he slipped into the seat next to her. He played with her fingers that rested on the table, his entire body turned to her, giving her his undivided attention. Y/N and Harry stayed at the restaurant until they closed. Their waiter, Devin, told them he didn’t want to rush them, but they did need to clean up the outside patio. Harry knew it was time to go but didn’t want the night to end. 
“Fancy a walk?” Harry asked Y/N as they stood by the car, pointing toward the beach where she could hear the waves crashing on the shore.
“Lead the way.”
Harry reached for Y/N’s hand, but Y/N was the one to intertwine their fingers, keeping a tight grip on him. Harry gave her a squeeze to assure her he liked it. The moon shone down on them as they walked towards the calm waves. They walked in silence; there was no need to fill the void with talk. Simply being together was enough for them. 
He was aware this was a first date. Yet, Harry knew what he was feeling was something he would never experience again, entirely because of Y/N. 
“Harry?” 
“Yes, Sweets.” 
“Can I confess something to you?” 
Harry stops walking, hearing the tremble in her voice. “Hey, of course you can. Anything you want.” 
“Well,” she takes a deep breath. “When we met, I thought you might be a little cocky because you have this larger-than-life personality, but truthfully, you're the sweetest person I have ever met.” 
Harry feels his cheeks turn red. He did not see this coming. “Sweets, you mean that?” 
“I do. You make me feel safe and cared for. I-I know we don’t know each other too well, but I would like to keep seeing you if you’re interested,” she whispers the final word as if all her confidence was sucked away. 
“Y/N, look at me.” She lifts her gaze to meet his. Y/N can see how bright his eyes are with the moon's light. “I would love to keep going on dates with you. You called me sweet, but Y/N, you’re the kindest, smartest, most beautiful person I have met in all my years of life. I’d love to keep spending time with you even if it was simply to go grocery shopping.” 
“Good,” she whispers. “I’m glad we’re on the same page.” 
“Come one, Sweets. The night is still young.” 
Harry and Y/N spent the remainder of the night sitting on the cold sand, telling each other everything they could think of because while neither would say it out loud, they knew they had met their soulmate.
+
Y/N loved playing dress-up. She loved exploring her fashion, knowing she’d get suitable and horrible outfits, but each one would be a story for her to tell. Y/N loved going to flea markets on the weekends and went to her favorite thrift store every time the kind worker shot her a text, there was a large donation that came in. Her mother once took her to an estate sale, and Y/N got to see pieces of someone else’s story. Y/N loved visiting the homes but also because she got to find some of the most insane items. Y/N had found a vintage baby pink Chanel sweater and a never-worn pearl necklace. It was her most precious piece of jewelry. 
When Harry learned that Y/N loved going to vintage and second-hand stores, he planned a date night to take her to all the hidden spots his mother had shown him. It had been a few weeks of dates, Y/N and Harry being exclusive, enjoying their time together. Harry had planned a few dates, but so had Y/N. With final exams looming close, he wanted to make sure that Y/N knew that spending time with her was his priority, so he wanted to take her to one of her favorite activities. 
Harry had specific tastes, loving to wear vintage shirts, sometimes paying too much for one he couldn’t live without. Harry loved being able to share this passion with Y/N but mostly enjoyed spending time with her. He understood they both had schoolwork and needed to make time to study, but Y/N was great at making time to see him, so he decided he could do the same. She stopped by for breakfast after her morning pilates class. Harry would send her flowers to arrive at her office. It was a simple gesture, but Y/N appreciated it each time.
“Did you know Dee can’t stand Prim?” Y/N tells Harry as she looks through the rack of skirts, trying to find a velvet skirt. 
Harry frowned. “Prim the cat?” 
“Mhmm…the very one. Says she’s demonic or something,” Y/N shrugs.
“Prim is the sweetest little baby. Always curl up in your lap for a nap.”
Y/N looks back at him with a big smile, recalling the memory of them over at Sasha’s house for game night. Harry sat to her right as they watched Frannie and Brandon try to beat their score in charades when the small black cat came right over to her with a tiny meow and settled in her lap. Y/N ran her hand through Prim’s black coat, coxing her right to sleep. Harry made sure to capture photos for her. Even made it his new lock screen.
“Yeah, told Dee she probably needs to bring Prim a snack to befriend her.” 
Y/N pulled out a black skirt; she looked it over, trying to decide if she wanted it, when Harry spotted something over her shoulder. It was a maroon velvet skirt with a split on the leg, and he knew it was exactly what she was looking for. 
“How about this?” 
She turned around to see Harry holding up a skirt. It looked in perfect condition, not a tear in sight. “What if it doesn’t fit?” 
“We can always alter it. I’m amazing with a sewing machine,” Harry shares. 
Y/N grabs it from him, adding it to the pile of clothes she’s already holding in one arm. “Fine, I’ve been convinced.” She giggles, knowing she would have taken it no matter what because Harry was the one who found it for her. 
“Did you find that knitted cardigan here?” Y/N asks him, exiting the shop, the bag of clothes in Harry’s hand as he uses his other hand to hold hers. 
“No, my Nan made it.” 
Y/N’s eyes gleam in excitement. “That’s amazing. Did she teach you?” 
Harry laughs. “No, I'm really bad with needles. Nan says I’ve got too big of hands.” 
Y/N lifts their intertwined hands, looking down at his black nail polish contrasting her red. “I think you’ve got perfect hands.” 
Harry kisses her temple. “Thank you, sweets. Are you up for a coffee?”
“And a croissant?” She asks excitedly. 
“Well, of course. Only the best for you.” Harry pulls her close and leads them to a coffee shop up the street. 
Harry knows he’s never been happier. He’s glad to have Y/N in his life.
+
Y/N had spent the summer falling in love. Harry had been the perfect gentleman. She had never met someone as kind as him, and when he asked her to be his girlfriend, there was only one clear answer. 
Yes.
She held back from screaming it. Her excitement was hard to hide, but thankfully, so was Harry’s. They spent that night back at Y/N’s apartment kissing. Harry had the sweetest lips, and Y/N always wanted more after one taste. He brought warmth into her life, which she would always be thankful for. 
Now, in Autumn, she spent her time with her studying, going on dates, and sharing lots of kisses. Y/N got to meet Harry’s family: his mother, who has a big love for cats; his older sister, who’s a lawyer and the best baker to ever exist; and his step-father, who is heaven-sent. Y/N shared she was nervous to meet them all because of how much Harry talked about them, but he assured her they’d love her. 
They settled on brunch together, which went as well as Harry expected. Y/N shared what she was studying, where she was from, and how sweet Harry was raised. His mother, Elise, was over the moon with her kind words. When Y/N excused herself to the restroom, his mum could not stop gushing about how perfect Y/N was for him. His sister, Aaliyah, was more challenging to win over. She seemed to think she could read everyone perfectly. It was her job as a lawyer, but sometimes Harry wanted her to simply be his sister. Y/N spent the breakfast sharing stories asking about Harry growing up. His stepfather shared his favorite memories of Harry growing up. How Aaliyah tried to always sell Harry away or ship him off in a box. It never worked, but she tried so hard.
It took a slight turn when the conversation shifted to Y/N’s family. “Has Harry met your family?” Aaliyah asked. 
Y/N felt her hands begin to sweat, and as if he could sense her nerves, Harry reached down and intertwined her hand with his, letting them rest on her lap. 
“No, uh, he hasn’t.” 
Aaliyah frowned, “Now that doesn’t seem right. Are you ashamed of him?” 
Y/N jumps back as if she had just been slapped. She knew his sister cared for him, but being accused of being ashamed of Harry was not something she ever wanted to happen. Y/N took a deep breath and decided to share the deepest parts of herself with Harry’s family, something she did not like to talk about and only mentioned to Harry, never giving him the whole story. 
“My mum Isla passed away when I was ten. She was my hero and my biggest supporter. It’s not something you ever really heal from; grief lessens, but you’ll always miss them.” Y/N wanted to look away. The look of pity on their face was not something she wanted. “My—my dad loved my mum. He always said she was his other half, and well…when he lost her, it’s like we lost him too. My older brother is eight years older than me. So when my mum passed away, he was getting ready to leave for university. Once he left, he never came back. He calls on the occasional holiday but loves life in America.” Y/N is surprised she’s not crying yet but pushes on. “It’s hard living in a house when you’re the one who essentially raised yourself. Dad worked, came home and mourned, then went back to work. An endless cycle. I had family members try to help him, but they knew it would be better if I left.” Y/N could feel her hands shaking and her knee continuously bouncing, but she did it; she made it through her story. “Sorry if that was an overshare.” Y/N excuses herself, needing a minute. 
She walks out front, and that’s when her tears fall. 
“For fucks sake,” she groans, knowing tear stains are hard to hide. 
“Y/N,” Harry calls for her softly. “Are you okay?” 
Harry. Her sweet angel. Y/N’s sure her mum put him on her path because her love for him is something she’s never felt before, but it makes her feel whole. Y/N lets herself collapse in his arms, no longer caring about her tears. 
“I’m sorry,” she mutters. “They must think I’m a mess.” 
“Hey,” he says softly. “Don’t talk about my girlfriend like that.” 
“It’s true,” she defends. 
Harry lifts her head to have him look at her. “You don’t have to be perfect or have to have your life together. You just need to remember you’re not alone. You’ve got so many people that l–adore you.” 
Y/N takes a moment to let it all sink in. Harry’s right. She’s simply overwhelmed and thankful to have him here. 
“Is your family upset with me?”
“Not at all, baby,” he assures her. “I think Mum was reprimanding Aaliyah, actually.”
Y/N laughs at his excitement, “let's go back.” 
“Are you sure?” He checks one final time.
“Mhm. Do you think your mum will share photos of you?” 
“Only one way to find out,” Y/N let him lead the way as she felt her heart calm down, knowing she was in safe hands.
+
Y/N could not be prouder of Harry. He had passed all his exams with flying colors (Y/N did, too), all while getting promoted at work. It was a campus job that paid decently. He did it for the scholarship offered but had come to love his role in helping other students. Y/N had done well, too, but that didn’t matter to her, not when she wanted to celebrate Harry. She planned a special night out for him with all of their friends. Harry loved a good party, and she wanted to give him precisely that. She had told him to prepare for the night, claiming it was a surprise. 
Harry didn’t think much, knowing her surprise ranged from a bouquet of flowers to getting dessert and the occasional new clothing she found for him. He didn't know what to expect tonight because when she showed up at his apartment in a little black dress, he was close to pulling her into his apartment and not letting her go. As good as that dress looked on Y/N, he knew it would look better on his bedroom floor. Harry noticed Y/N’s excitement and knew he couldn’t keep her locked up, but it did not stop him from pushing her up against the wall and happily messing up her lipstick. 
Once he noticed it was getting hard to control himself when he pulled away. “Look beautiful, sweets.” 
Y/N giggled, pressing a kiss to his stained lips. “Thank you.”
“Should we head out?” Harry asked, grabbing his coat and helping Y/N slip hers on. 
“Mhm…”
The car ride was short, driving close to the university. He noticed they were outside the bar they come to for karaoke some nights. He loves belting out an Adele song from time to time. Y/N hurried out the door, her excitement unable to be contained. Y/N waited at the door for him, her hand outstretched for him to take. He kissed her wrist and gestured for her to go on. 
Walking in, everything looked normal. People were sitting around at the tables, not a seat in sight at the bar. Y/N offered Grady, their favorite bartender, a wave. The crowd parted for Y/N as if she were an angel walking by. He was always mesmerized by how her presence caught the attention of everyone around her. 
Y/N led them to the back room, which was reserved for large parties. Harry was confused; she had said the surprise was for him, but it didn’t make sense when there was nothing to celebrate. His birthday wasn’t until February, and she knew that. Made a clear point to add it to her calendar as Harry Styles’ Birthday with a yellow heart next to it. A simple gesture that made his heart skip a beat. When they entered the room, Harry noticed all their friends gathered around. Mitch was laughing with Niall while Sarah approached them with three drinks in hand. She quickly passed Harry a vodka cranberry while Y/N got Sprite. 
“Your girl sure knows how to throw a party,” Sarah raises her glass in a cheer. 
“I-I.” Harry has no words. 
Sarah laughs. “Did you really not know? I thought she would have told you. Y/N was so excited she thought she might burst,” she teased. 
Y/N smiles, leaning her head on Harry’s shoulder. “It’s for everyone,” Y/N reminds her. 
Sarah clicks her tongue. “You said, and I quote, ‘Harry aced every exam. He had the highest grade in each class. It deserves to be celebrated.’ Or am I wrong?” 
Y/N feels her face heat up because Sarah’s words are true. She said it because it was true. He deserves all his accomplishments to be celebrated, from acing an exam to turning in an exam. Uni isn’t always fun; if she can make good days for him, she feels like she did something good for someone she loves. 
Harry excuses them, pulling them to the corner of the room. A few people try to get his attention, but he’s on a mission to get his girl alone. Harry corners her, his emerald eyes locked with her soft eyes. “You’re an angel,” he whispers. “What did I do to deserve you?” 
Y/N has no answer because she feels the same way. “I feel the same way.” 
“You didn’t have to do all of this,” he gestures around them. 
She nods, “I wanted to. You deserve to be celebrated.” 
Harry can no longer hold back. He connects his lips with hers. His hands settle on her waist while Y/N fists the front of his shirt. The passion was burning him; he craved the feeling. Y/N was lost in the feeling that she had forgotten they were in a room with their friends. She jumps back when she hears a loud holler and a yell of Harry’s name. Y/N lets her head fall on his chest, her cheeks burning while Harry tries to coax her to look at him. 
“Y/N, love. You’re amazing.” 
A large smile splits on her face; before Harry can kiss it away, Y/N holds his hand and pulls him to the dance floor, their drinks long forgotten.
“Let’s celebrate, baby!” Y/N shouts, laughing as Harry twirls her into him. Her laugh rings loud, and Harry knows she’s the best thing to ever happen to him. As Y/N dances in front of him, one thought rings loud in his head. 
He is completely and utterly in love with Y/N. 
+
Y/N didn’t enjoy her birthday, but it didn’t mean she didn’t celebrate her friend's special day. Frannie loved spending time with her friends, so with the help from Aurora, they planned a dinner party at Aurora’s shared apartment. They set up two long folding tables with chairs and pushed the couches back for extra space. Y/N decorated the apartment with streamers, balloons, and banners with the help of Harry, who got on the ladder for her when she couldn’t reach something. 
The dinner was set for 5pm. Thankfully, Frannie’s birthday landed on a Saturday, so everyone will be free from uni for the week. Y/N had place cards made for everyone. Harry even had a little heart next to his name. He would be sitting right next to Y/N, with Mitch to his left. They were his two favorite people because while he was good at having Y/N’s attention, it seemed when she was in a large group of people, she always became the life of the party.  
At 4:30, everyone began to arrive one by one. Aurora was set to get there at 5 with Frannie. They had told Frannie it would only be dinner with the three of them, but she was in for a big surprise. The door opened at 5:01, and everyone screamed, “Surprise!” 
Frannie dropped the flowers she was holding in shock. 
“You did this!” Frannie pointed at Y/N, who was leaning against Harry’s chest. 
Y/N brushes her off, “it was all of us.”
Harry knew she didn’t like all the attention, yet Y/N always went out of her way to show everyone how much she loved and appreciated them. It made him wonder how her friends would celebrate Y/N this year. He knows he tried but sometimes never can’t measure up. He loves buying her flowers, always treats her to coffee, and gives her kisses tenfold because he knows it makes her smile. 
He sees Frannie, gives her a tight hug, then settles down at the head of the table. Harry likes how easy conversation falls around him. He talks about a new album that recently came out with Mitch. Y/N jumps in, saying the closing song is her favorite. Sarah shared how the campus job is giving her 40 percent off on all merchandise, so send her a list of what they want. 
Y/N rests her hand on Harry’s thigh as she slips into conversation with Aurora and Brandon, talking about the lab Aurora did earlier in the week. Y/N jumps in every few minutes to show she’s listening. Harry selfishly wants to pull her away, wanting her attention back on him. 
Harry traces random shapes on her hand, letting Mitch talk his ear off as he picks at Y/N’s chipped nails. He makes a mental note of painting them for her tomorrow. 
“I love you, Harry,” she whispers in his ear. A soft kiss is placed on his cheek as she goes to pull away. Harry reaches out and sets her in his lap, not caring that all their friends are watching.
“Say it again,” he begs in a husky voice.
“You've heard me say it before,” she giggled, thinking about their midnight walk when Harry confessed under the stars how he had fallen in love with her. Y/N kissed him, not needing him to beg her to say she loved him. She’d say it over and over again for as long as he asked. “I love you” had become his favorite phrase. 
Y/N sits in his lap for a while; Harry knows she’s tired and close to falling asleep as he feels her settle deeper in his lap. She jolts up when Aurora asks for help with the main dish. Y/N kisses his lips, promising to be back quickly. Being at the apartment all day getting everything ready took a toll on her, and he knew that after eating, she would want to sleep for a long time, but Y/N would not leave because she would see it as rude. Harry composes an idea as dinner continues. 
The meal is enjoyed, and he has the perfect idea when dessert is passed around. He feigns a yawn, making sure Y/N is watching him. He apologizes, giving her a brief kiss. 
“Do you wanna go, H?” Y/N asks. “I know we’ve been here all day.” 
He shakes his head, “no, you can stay.” 
Y/N frowns, not liking that option at all. Harry has been staying over lately, and she’s gotten used to him in her bed. She debates on what to do because she knows cleaning up will be a bitch and would hate to leave it all to Aurora. Sarah notices her mood change and asks her what’s wrong.
“You alright?” 
“Ready to call it a night, but worried about the mess,” Y/N looks around mentally, trying to see what she can throw out and save. 
Sarah waves her off, “go home, babes.” 
“But–”
“Nope. We’ve got this. You set up, we take down,” Sarah tells her like it’s obvious. 
Y/N reaches forward, tugging her friend in for a hug. “You’re the best.” 
Y/N begins to make her rounds, bidding goodnight, sharing her fair of I love you before landing at Harry’s side, her hand in his. Harry quietly thanks Sarah and walks out with his tired girlfriend. She sinks against him as they walk down the steps leading them to the street where they parked 
“Remind me to never set up a party,” she groans as she throws herself into the passenger seat. Harry bites back a laugh instead, leans in, and helps Y/N buckle up. She gives him a tired grin. “You’re the best.” 
“Do you want me to set up a bath for when I get you home?” 
Y/N perks up. “Does that mean we’re going to yours?” 
Harry has the bigger bathtub, so he knows what she’s asking. If he’ll be joining her. “Text Mitch to stay with Sarah.” 
“Oh, are we using the citrus one?” 
“If that’s what you want.” 
Y/N sighs against her seat. “Oh, how I love you, Harry.” 
Harry’s heart fills with warmth. This love is everything he’s ever wanted in life.
+
Y/N loved her friends. She loved seeing them smile, helping them out, and, most of all, celebrating them. All her friends took care of her, but Y/N always seemed to go above and beyond for each of them. It was something her Mumma taught her. “Give graciously because it will come back to you.” She likes to think it’s come back in ways she never imagined. 
Brandon had always been an excellent friend to Y/N. He had her back when she failed her first exam. He held her hand when she got lost at the pumpkin patch the year prior. Y/N was thankful for everything he did, from helping her set up her first tattoo appointment to taking her to the mechanic and ensuring she wasn’t being ripped off. He was a good friend, and she wanted to celebrate this new opportunity that had opened up for him. He had started a new job in IT a few months back, and Y/N knew how much he enjoyed it. It was better than biology, but soon, his job offered him pay for his education under a different major: IT Security Protection. It was the easiest, yes, but the only problem was that he’d have to go to a college in the States. This was a celebration and an early goodbye because he wasn’t set to leave until the New Year. 
This time, the event was at a club. Everyone was ready to let loose after a hard week, and the celebration was a perfect opportunity. Harry promised Y/N he’d watch after them, only limiting himself to two drinks and ordering them an Uber home when it was time to go. Except for the fact that Y/N was making sure her friends were enjoying themselves. It seemed Samantha got into some drama with Frannie, and they’ve been butting heads. Harry knows Y/N is a great mediator, but he wants Y/N to be able to go out without worrying about fixing problems. His girlfriend is heaven-sent, but he wants her friends to be there for her like she is for them. 
Harry hoped they would prove it on the most important day for Y/N. 
+
Harry takes note of all the grand gifts and events Y/N goes on to plan for her friends. It’s something he knows Y/N loves doing, but what does she get in return? Harry knows her birthday is soon and wonders what her friends have planned. 
A few friends gathered to go out for drinks. Harry had not left his seat beside Y/N except to buy their drinks. Y/N leans in, kissing the corner of his mouth, promising she’d be gone a second, needing to use the restroom. Harry made sure she made it safely before getting everyone’s attention. 
“What are you planning for Y/N’s birthday in a few weeks?” Harry asks, popping Y/N’s cherry from her Shirley Temple in his mouth. Y/N stated she hated them but always ordered extra because she knew Harry would eat them.
Aurora frowned, “What do you mean?” 
“Her birthday. December 3rd. How do you want to celebrate? Was thinking of renting out the backroom of her favorite restaurant, inviting some friends, drinks all night, and cake. You know we’ve got to take care of her sweet tooth.” 
“She doesn’t celebrate her birthday,” Frannie tells him. 
Harry frowns; that doesn’t make sense. Y/N had told him all about how she celebrated with her mum when she was growing up. How her Mum would wake her up to breakfast in bed and slip in next to her, telling Y/N her favorite memories from when Y/N was an infant to her current age. It filled him with so much happiness that she got to experience it. That she had that much love in her life, and while he knows she has lost it in some way, it will always be with her. Frannie’s words ring over and over in his head.
 Y/N never mentioned not being a fan of her birthday. 
“What ya mean?” Harry needs a clear answer. 
“She refuses to celebrate her birthday with us. It’s been like this since I met her, Harry,” Aurora tells him, but he’s not so convinced. 
“Have you asked her? She’s got fond memories of her birthday, and if we let her stop celebrating, this day will mean nothing to her. Y/N makes all of you feel special every chance she gets, from celebrating graduations to the newest tattoos. You mean the world to her, but what does she mean to you?” 
Harry is getting heated, so he excuses himself. He was going to find Y/N and hoped to convince her to let him take her home. He’s too frustrated to keep sitting at a table of their friends who refuse to do something kind for Y/N simply because she said she didn’t want to celebrate once a few years ago.
“H, honey? You okay?” Y/N asks, concerned when she finds him leaning against the wall beside the restroom.
“Got a headache, Sweets. Wanted to see if you wanted to stay, and I’ll suck it up to keep you company.”
Y/N is quick to disagree. “No, no. We’ll go back to yours. Let me take care of you.” 
Harry loves his girl. She deserves the universe; if he can try to give it to her each day, he knows she will always feel loved. 
+
Harry woke up bright early, under purple covers. Y/N curled up into his chest, almost her entire face hiding under the covers. He hated moving, knowing she might wake up with any wrong move, but he managed to settle her and went outside. He did his morning routine quickly, then headed to the kitchen, where he made sure he had everything for French toast, her absolute favorite meal last night. 
While cooking the French toast, he ordered her iced vanilla oat milk latte to be delivered. He hated delivery fees, but today was a special occasion, and he would do anything to make her day memorable. 
As he placed the French toast on a plate, Harry noticed the front door camera and hurried over before the person could knock. Harry received the drinks with a giant smile, giving the guy a ten-dollar bill in thanks. He found the tray Y/N told him she likes to use under the sink. He put the French toast and a cup of water on the tray. Grabbing the flowers, he rushed out to get up the street from Lady Silvie and her coffee. 
He saw her beginning to stir, her hands moving around as if searching for him. His heart tightened in his chest at how much he loved her. Softly, he began to sing “Happy Birthday.” Y/N, in confusion, froze before shooting upright. Harry walked closer to the edge of the bed until he knelt on the corner, placing the tray over her lap. 
Y/N’s eyes were filled with tears at the sweet gesture her boyfriend did for her. She mentioned her birthday in passing, hoping he wouldn’t remember, but her dear Harry remembers everything she has ever told him. She had told him stories of how she celebrated with her mum growing up, the only person Y/N has confided in since moving here. Not that she didn’t trust her other friends but because he was patient with her and broke down every single wall she had. Y/N had never felt she could truly be herself with anyone, and thenHarry came into her life. He helped her begin to love every part of herself. 
“Happy Birthday, Sweet Y/N!” 
Her tears break free. 
She can’t even get a word out because her tears keep coming. Every birthday after her mum passed, she dreaded waking up. Most of the time, she slept the day away or treated it as any other day, but today, she woke up with a full heart as she woke up to her boyfriend singing. It’s something Y/N will always hold close to her heart. 
Harry is her best friend, the other person who knows her inside out. With a single look he knows what she’s saying. 
He crawled onto the bed, carefully moving the tray to avoid spilling anything, and pulled Y/N into his lap. It’s one of his favorite positions to be in.  
“Happy tears?” 
Y/N nods. 
“I have a nice day planned for us. Are you up for it?” He asks softly, his hand rubbing circles in her back. 
“You do?” She asks, surprised. 
Harry chuckles, “of course, it’s my favorite person’s birthday.” 
Y/N’s smile is bright. She lets Harry wipe away her tears and then gives him a chaste kiss. “I’m very lucky to have you in my life.” 
They eat breakfast with Y/N in Harry’s lap as she feeds him bites of her fruit. It was very domestic and everything he looks forward to with his future with Y/N. Harry cleans breakfast, asking Y/N to meet him in the living room. She comes out, hair brushed and wearing his hoodie. He has a few gifts sitting on her coffee table. 
Y/N jumps on the couch as she waits for Harry to give her the go-ahead with the presents. She opened her gifts and found items ranging from silk scrunchies to glitter bath bombs. Y/N thanks Harry with a kiss after each present. Harry hands her an envelope, promising it’s the last one. Y/N looks at him suspiciously but opens it slowly. It’s a piece of paper, and she can’t believe her eyes when she unfolds it. 
She reads it again and again.
“Is this real?” Y/N inquires. 
Harry laughs, “very much so.” 
“You got us tickets to SZA,” she says slowly, as if she’s waiting for Harry to tell her it’s not real. 
“It’s our favorite album. I-I thought it would be special. Something to look forward to,” he promised. 
“I love you. I love you so much.”
Harry spends the rest of the morning showing Y/N how much he loves her.
After spending a lovely morning in bed, Harry convinced Y/N to get ready and took her to her favorite bookstore, where he helped her pick a few books from her “tbr,” of course paying for her.  They took a stroll by the lake before deciding it was too cold. Then Y/N decided it was time for an early lunch, and they ate tacos from Y/N’s favorite restaurant. 
It was a perfect day. 
One that helps one final surprise for her. 
+
Harry had requested that she put on her favorite dress and get ready. There was somewhere he wanted to take her.
Outside the restaurant, Y/N asked Harry what they were doing as she saw a full parking lot and a familiar car, but her gaze didn’t linger long as Harry captured her attention.
“Do you trust me?” Harry asked.
“With all my heart,” she answered without hesitation. 
“Then follow me. No questions.” She took his outstretched hand and let him lead the way. Harry told the Hostess the name of his reservation and was told to go down the hall to the right. 
Harry felt his heart pounding as they neared the door that would lead them to all of Y/N’s friends, who were ready to surprise her with a party. Something in him stopped a few steps away. Y/N frowned because something was wrong. Harry seemed like he was going to throw up. 
“H, what’s wrong?” 
Harry lets go of her hand and brings them to rest on her cheek, needing her sweet eyes on him. “I-I-I love you, Sweets. I love you so much. Behind that door are all your friends, ready to celebrate your birthday with you. Selfishly, I want to steal you away, but they’re excited to spend this day with you. If it’s too much and I crossed a line,” his voice cracked. “I apologize. So if you don’t want that, we can go right now.”
“You planned this,” she whispered. 
Harry sighs, “yes, they told me not to, but you shower everyone with your love, and you deserve the same, if not more.” 
Y/N feels her throat close up and knows she’s going to cry as soon as Harry leads them to the party. 
She steps closer to him, with no space between them. Harry looks at her with so much love she knows he’s honestly her other half.  Y/N pulls him down by the collar of his shirt and kisses him with everything she has. Y/N spills everything in the kiss. All her love wrapped in a kiss for Harry. He gives her back the same energy; both lost in the taste of each other don’t pull apart until they’re fighting for a breath. Y/N laughs against his mouth. “I love you. I love you so much.” 
Harry kisses her again. “I love you, Sweets.” 
“Let’s go in.” 
He leads the way, knocking on the door three times, telling her that was the code for her arrival. Harry lets her in, and that’s when her friend's screams ring in her ears. Everyone Y/N considers a friend is here. The room has balloons and streamers around. There’s a cake that looks so yummy and a table full of presents all for her. Her friends stare at her with smiles. Y/N is so overwhelmed she doesn’t even know who to approach first. Aurora chooses for her, pulling her in for a tight hug. 
”Happy Birthday, bestie!” Y/N laughs as Rora twirls her around. Rora pulls her back in, wiping away a tear rolling down her cheek. “I’m sorry I didn’t try harder.”
Y/N shakes her head, “no, no.” 
Rora brushes her off. “You’ve been there for me since I met you. I’m sorry I didn’t always do the same.” 
Y/N appreciates her friend’s apology, but she was partly to blame. She never fully let anyone in, afraid they’d leave her just like everyone else, but Harry showed her that wasn’t the way to live.
“You’ve got a good one,” Aurora told Y/N, pointing at Harry, who was talking with Mitch and Brandon. As if he could feel his eyes on her, he turned around, sending her a dimpled smile. 
“You okay?” He mouthed.
“Perfect.” She replied. She blew him a kiss and continued around the room, talking to her friends.
As the night continued, Harry ensured Y/N always had a drink in hand, whether a vodka cranberry, or water. He ate dinner with her and helped her cut the cake when she asked for his help. All the cameras were on her, and she had gotten overwhelmed. Harry slipped his hand on top of hers, and together, they cut Y/N’s slice of cake. 
No one had left yet, but Y/N needed a breather, so she stepped onto the patio overlooking a beautiful lit-up forest. Y/N heard silent footsteps behind her. She turned around to find Harry with his coat in his hands. 
“Don’t want you to get sick, my love.”
Y/N smiles, stepping close to him and letting him help her put it on. She was staring at Harry with so much adoration. She couldn’t believe how lucky she was to have him in her life. Y/N leaned in close. The music flowing out of the room had her wrapping her arms around his waist. His hands settled on her waist as he held her tight, that familiar feeling that if he didn’t hold tight enough, she might disappear. 
Harry leaned his forehead against hers, letting each other fall in love all over again.
“This was the best birthday,” she whispered as they swayed to the music in the distance. 
Harry lifted his hand, brushing a strand of hair back. “Just wait until next year,” he promised.
Y/N looked forward to it. 
+
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simpjaes · 5 months
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i try to not indulge in the idea of stepcest cause it feels so wrong but i need to admit to someone that it’s just so…mmmm. it’s a guilty pleasure soooo let me send this ask before u go crazy heehee
stepbro jay would be one of those guys whose so respectful and nice to everyone but really he’s the worst. during your first family dinner after you and your mom move in with him and his dad, he sits right next to you and keeps his hand on your thighs while laughing with his dad and your mom. later on in the night he comes to your room pretending he wants to talk to you but he actually has you face down ass up, with your face shoved in a pillow so your moans and screams are muffled. he’s so arrogant and mean to you because you’re just an easy access fucktoy for him 🤭
sorry this is being answered so late! anyway, i get that you feel like it's wrong but here on this blog, we support fiction being like, yknow, not fuckin' real.
wc: 1.6k
note: jay and reader are in college living with their good ol' very in love parents. warnings: stepcest, jay is kinda rough lol, use of the word slut
step bro jay appearing like the perfect son and the perfect brother for you?? Your mom always thought you needed some type of male energy in your life that didn't involve boyfriends or her failed boyfriends, and she was really happy to learn how much he enjoyed being around when she and jay's dad eventually got serious and wanted to settle down.
it was a win/win. Your mother no longer needed to overwork herself to take care of herself and you, and you now had someone to lean on too.
And lean on him you did.
What your mother didn't know was the instant attraction you had to Jay. You're a young woman after all, freshly twenty two and so fucking ready to mingle since your last boyfriend was an awful lay. God, if only you had met Jay before your mom fucked his dad. like, for real.
And what Jay's dad didn't know is that he raised an absolute slut. Jay knew the moment he laid eyes on you that he would be encouraging his father to keep it up with your mom. Why? So he can be around you, of course, so he can see if you'd be willing to let him play with you a little bit.
Now though? he's learned that you're moving in alongside your mother and he didn't protest for even a moment. Hell, he practically moved you into your new room himself, trying to officially get on your good side since by this time, the two of you have only gotten to hang out five or six times, and never alone.
~
The first time Jay cornered you was a little surprising, as you thought you were the only one with a sneaky little crush on him. You remember it like it was yesterday (because it was like the same night you moved in).
He was moving the last box into your room as you sat on your floor organizing a small box of knick knacks. Your mother was outside with his father attempting to move in a large vanity that both you and Jay knew would take some time without their help.
"You seemed excited when they told us you were moving in--" Jay starts, sitting down the box and standing in front of you, looking down at you until you make eye contact. "Why?"
You shrug, blinking up and tilting your head.
"It's just nice to see her happy, I guess?" You offer.
"Bullshit, I've seen you checking me out." He says snidely, crouching down to your level and swiveling his head a bit to get a real good look at your face.
Before you can deny it, he smiles and continues.
"You know, I'm kinda into it."
And then he walked out, leaving you there with a crush that grew just a bit more.
The second time he cornered you was after a shower, shortly before one of your classes started. He stepped out of his room the same time you stepped out with dampened skin sticking to your t-shirt. No pants, no bra, just the shirt and panties.
You really should have considered that you live in a house with men now. It doesn't matter how early in the morning it is, anyone could be awake. And of course, Jay was awake.
He stopped in his tracks to check out your legs. Entirely blatant about it before walking up to you. You stumbled back a step, straight into the bathroom as he continued to walk closer and closer. Up until you were against the counter, he was smiling, and then brushed his hand by your waist to grab his toothbrush behind you with a small and cocky whisper of "god, you looked so ready for me to do something else, didn't realize you were that desperate."
So, that was something that stuck in your brain for like, way too long.
The third time was when he did do something else. Your mother was at work, his father too, and you had just gotten home from class. Normally, you've learned that Jay takes classes much later than you do, but he was home today.
God, he was definitely home.
With his hand down his pants.
On your bed.
And, well, you can argue that's probably the moment your crush on him crossed a boundary that would never be spoken of. Because what you did was blasphemous. Your parents should have known not to move in together with two horny college students in tow. Honestly.
You still remember the way his hands felt up your shirt, offering him a bit more than just his imagination there on your bed. He touched you a lot that day, and in turn you touched yourself twice as more on his bed just a day later.
So, that leads to tonight's dinner. Again, the first real dinner you've gotten to have as a "family" and all you can think about is the way your mom dotes on Jay for being such a good, protective brother. And how his father dotes on you, for being such a good influence on his son....despite his son's hand squeezing your thigh as he accepts the compliments and dotes on them right back.
"Thanks for making my dad happy again." "Thank you for always cooking the best meals." "Thank you for making the house look like a home."
God, you roll your eyes at him, really. Because you've already grown accustomed to the dirty, fucked up things he says to you when the two of you are alone. That hand on your leg further proves that he's full of shit and he knows you love it.
The worst part is that you do. Despite telling him that night you let him touch you that it would never happen again. Despite him not knowing that you have had at least three orgasms against the very pillow he lays his head on at night.
Anyway, it's wrong. And you continue to brood over the fact that you genuinely can't let yourself be weak again around him. No matter how much you want him, no matter how much he appears to want you.
He knows you set a boundary last time, and since then he hasn't approached you again until now, with his hand squeezing up your thigh until you jolt under the touch and alert your mother.
You dodged her questions, swiped his hand away, and finished your meal as quietly as you could before immediately heading back to your room.
"What's up with her?" Jay's father asks, looking at your mother.
"I'm not sure..."
Jay stands up, smiling genuinely and innocently at both of them.
"I'll go talk to her. She mentioned something about a fight with one of her friends the other day. She's probably upset about it or something"
The parents beam at him, despite his blatant lie as he makes his way to your room.
And, well, you're bad at keeping your own boundaries apparently because the second he walked into your room was the second you fell apart. As if his hand on your leg didn't already have you crumbling.
"You're too obvious." He scolded. "I just touched your leg, relax. At least let me get something out of this if you're not gonna put out for me after all that from before." He continued.
You just sat there staring at his angry whispered words.
"Jay--" You started in a half moan, but he continued.
"What's so bad about wanting to fuck anyway? You're right here, and you want it. I mean, look at you." he waves his hands at your body, and the way your fingers are clearly inside of yourself. "Me touching your leg has you up here trying to reach places that only i'd be able to reach."
"Then do it--" You cut yourself off this time, moving your fingers and scissoring them open in hopes that he would really give it to you despite your protests from the last time.
He's so fast with it too, grabbing you by the ankles and pulling you down the bed before shoving you to roll over. There, you immediately arch your back and perk your ass up at him. He shakes his head in pity, but the smirk on his lips tells you that he likes it. He probably loves when girls do this for him. And he reacts even more to it by pulling the loose shorts down your thighs, and then spreading your legs.
"Fuck, I knew you'd let me." He praises himself more than you. "Put your fingers back in, let me see what you what you were doing up here all by yourself."
You found yourself listening instantly, sliding in two fingers and hiding your face in your pillow. This only pushes him further, glancing up at the way you hide from the act, then licking his own fingers and sliding them in along side your own.
"What would your mom say?" He laughs, lifting himself now and placing his hand on the back of your head. "Hm? Do you think she'd be interested to find out how much of a slut her daughter is?"
All you can do is nod brokenly against the harsh feeling of his palm against your head, and the way he slides his fingers into you, forcing pressure on your own.
"You're gonna take it, right?" He continues, watching those broken nods continue before he's pulling his fingers out of you, pushing your face further into those pillow, and shoving his pants down just enough to get his cock out.
"Yeah, fuck, look at it. You want it so bad." He seethes out through gritted teeth, staring at the way your needy cunt clenches around your fingers in reaction to the loss of his. Then he's slapping your wrist to remove your fingers and immediately pushing into you. Giving you exactly what you want, and all of that.
He's such a good brother, for real.
There, he doesn't relent or let you breathe even for a moment. All you can hear is ringing in your ears and the sound of him grunting out words of, "god, you're so fucking tight." and "dripping all over me, you really thought I'd stay away?" and "yeah, fuck, just take it."
And you do. You take it. Biting into the pillow through the pleasure and immense guilt of loving the way your strep brother's cock pulses inside of you. Loving the way he fucks hard and fast. Loving that he slides in deep every fucking time.
So much for talking.
Then again, you clearly weren't in the mood to talk anyway.
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enviedear · 6 months
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holy terrain ⟶ anakin skywalker
description ⌙ anakin can't deny the pull his bratty princess has over him, or rather, has always had over him.
pairing ⌙ anakin x f!princess!reader
warnings ⌙ nsfw, 18+ mdni i will block you. mean(ish)!anakin, equally mean(ish)!reader, they're toxic 'friends', an unreciprocated childhood kiss, also an unexpected kiss, mention of alcohol, brief mention of anidala (they're not tg), a flashback (it's not long dw), improper acts in a royal garden, fingering f!receiving, use of the nicknames petnames princess and jedi, no use of y/n.
word count ⌙ 4.1k
— request | masterlist
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ur gonna have to pry anakin & princess!reader fics from my cold dead hands
loosely based off of mother's song.
to the untrained eye, the elaborate ball around you would seem perfect, flawless even. a truly divine display of political power and proceeds all around, but all you're able to take note of is the glaring absence of a certain jedi knight.
it's not your place to ask for his whereabouts, and the idea of anyone knowing that you're looking for him has your head throbbing.
you'd grown up with him, running around the halls of both the jedi temple and your castle respectively.
while your mother, the queen, would discuss and debate with the senior jedi and pompous planetary delegates— you were off getting the young padawan into trouble.
you've never been the most considerate to him— rather, you liked to tease and push him around. anakin was your first and only acquaintance to allow you to deter from the rigid nature of your regality.
he'd take your witticisms and throw some back at you with even more vigor, and when you'd roughhouse with him he never drew back his hits.
he was anakin, and to him, you were just you.
but since the war, and its recent end— you've seen little of him. the most, if only, of him you've seen has been on your holopad.
'hero without fear', the words most always surrounding his likeness.
you're half inclined to think that the boy you grew up with may now be too substantial for you.
you fiddle with your dress' skirt, trying to keep your eyes from drifting back to the jedi and their apprentices who are present, lined in an almost perfect row against a wall. one more glance and you fear you may be drawn into a long conversation about the force, and you'd rather brood in your corner than deal with that.
your body goes stiff at the feeling of two hands coming from behind to clutch your shoulders, "princess, don't tell me you're sulking."
the voice that hits your ears is familiar and warm, and you fight back a grin as you turn to face the young man, "no. but i will now you're here."
his lips upturn in a simper, "oh, then shall i leave you? all alone?"
you hum, in faux thought, "never! i always need a jester at my side. what could be better than your funny face?"
you take him in while he laughs off your quip. his hair is neatly out of his face, longer and more curly than you've ever seen, and his long arms have become fuller, muscles apparent even with his tunics and robe.
his black and flowing garments starkly contrast your fitted and fair-shaded gown, and you take it as a reminder of your evident differences. anakin is a warrior now, while you're left to relegate menial court duty. in a strange way, you envy him.
his path has standards and steps to prove to him and everyone else that he is growing, learning, and becoming more. in your case, you come up lacking.
most people look and speak to you as though you're an idea. a sheltered royal with little to no concept of the galaxy around her.
you like to believe their whispers weren't true, but as you look upon your jedi companion, you feel a deep sense of ineptitude. how could you compete or compare to someone who has seen more planets than you could even name?
you put a small smile on your face, trying to block out your thoughts, "how have you been? i heard a certain senator has been keeping a close eye on you."
anakin's eyes narrow, "royal gossip? may i be privy to such information, your highness?"
he's being coy and you know it, you bring your voice to a whisper, "amidala. i hear you've been seen fleeing her chambers."
he hums, hands coming to rest at his hips, "well, princess, are you asking if the whispers are true," he pauses, head dipping closer to you and whispering, "or are you confused as to what goes on behind closed doors?"
you roll your eyes, "i most certainly do not need any aid in understanding such matters. i have my fair share of suitors. i just wonder how long until such information finds itself back to your council."
he gives you a contemptuous look, "you think too highly of my affection toward her. besides, i've heard she's found someone new to engage with."
"you've heard, or you were told?" you can't help the smugness in your words. truthfully, you've known of anakin's obsession with the young senator for years, and when you learned of her shared interest in him at the beginning of the war you had a strange aggression towards the idea.
the knowledge of the endeavor finally coming to an end relieves an unidentified weight on your chest.
anakin waves you off, "the specifics aren't important, however..." he trails off, looking you up and down.
his words and look pique your interest, "yes, anakin?"
you watch as his eyes leave your form to scan the ballroom. guests are everywhere, leaving the room crowded— and the walls seem to reek of whiskey and nectar wine— usual amongst 'high status' officials.
anakin leans down to you to whisper into your ear, "follow me."
your eyebrows knit together but you do as you're instructed, slipping away from the noisy ball and out into the night air.
there are a few stragglers outside, either intoxicated, engaging in less than pure actions, or a mix of the two.
you look away from a couple touching each other hungrily to glower at anakin, "why are we out here?"
his head turns to look back at you before he continues forward, "patience, dear princess."
your face scrunches in confusion but you continue on, hands pulling your skirts off the ground as you enter into the royal gardens.
you've walked the path beneath you countless times, and one of your earliest memories of the footpaths was shared with anakin. his boyish face covered in dirt after you had convinced him to unearth a large plot of soil for a lake— in your honor of course.
he had spent hours on his assignment, promising that you'd get what you desired.
in truth, a twelve year old you desired no lake, you simply wished to see how far you could get him to go for you.
it was you who held the power then, and he was a faithful devotee— albeit to his masters' chagrin. No one was able to really understand the hold you held over him.
not even the pair of you.
the incident landed both of you in a great deal of trouble, and you were forced to spend the next morning filling said hole. little you was apt to make anakin do most of that chore himself.
not that he had complained.
after a few quiet minutes of walking, anakin stops at one of the smaller fountains in the green. one of the oldest landmarks in this garden, predating the lavish castle on its horizon. it sits surrounded by tall fruit trees, leaving the area sweetly scented and mostly hidden.
"do you remember when i pushed you into this fountain?" anakin asks, voice deviant and deep.
you ponder up at him, "yes, and i also remember how i pulled you in with me."
he hums, a light chuckle falling out of his lips, "hm, and what did i do right after?"
you think back to the day, you, fourteen, and he fifteen. your defensive action had made him so outraged at you. his teenage face had been vibrant pink and his knuckles white.
"maker, you're such a brat!" anakin's voice was riddled with annoyance as he pushed himself out of the fountain, "look at me! i'm all wet and master obi-wan is never going to let me hear the end of this."
you had simply laughed, following him out of the chilly water, "i'm not a brat, and you pushed me first! goodness anakin, you're so boring now."
he turned to glare at you, "don't say that— i am not!"
you rolled your eyes, "are too."
in one quick movement, he had your back pressed hard into one of the trees, "i'm not boring. and if you say it again i'll make you regret it, princess."
you weren't scared of him, you could never be scared of anakin, "well, skywalker, if you're not boring, why don't you prove it."
it had been a silly and childish remark, and you weren't exactly sure how you wanted him to showcase opposition to your teasing. you weren't sure if even he knew how, but his thumbs traced along the veins at your wrists. his touch had left the air around you soft and hushed.
his blue eyes met your own for a split second before he leaned down to you, flushed lips parting ever so gently. he let his hands drop from your wrists down to your hips, and you stiffened at the touch. he had never behaved in such a way before, and the contact had your heart racing.
with little time to think, you watched him erase the space between the two of you, pausing for a short instant, before closing the gap between you. your eyes had gone wide at the feeling of his lips on yours. those perfect lips, full and chapped, lamented at your own— so foreign and new to you.
there wasn't much to the exchange, very little movement on your end and your eyes had stayed open in shock the entire time. just as you thought to kiss him back— he had pulled away.
He had then wiped his lips with the back of his hand before speaking, voice higher than normal, "there. i'm not so boring." and with that, he ran away, back to the castle, and you didn't see him again until months later.
you'd never brought it up and neither had he, so his question had you reigning yourself in, eerily motionless. he had taken your first kiss and never mentioned it again, why would he bring it up now?
you can't shame him much for it, as you had replayed the memory back in your mind thousands of times. commonly going so far as to try and remember what he had tasted like, to memorize the feel of his hands on you.
your mind often wondered what your reaction would be now, you hoped you'd at least be able to kiss him back now. but anakin didn't need to know that.
with a sharp look at him, you reply, "you robbed me of my first kiss, jedi." you inflect when you mention his title, reminding him of his virtuous position.
his left hand finds a place on your waist, drawing you into him, "i've never been considered a thief before— is that really how you recall it, princess?"
you fight your fluster, refusing to cower down to whatever game he's playing at, "oh? what would you call it?"
he quirks an eyebrow, "unfinished."
your stare up at him, body turning to fully mirror his own, "excuse me?"
"incomplete, insufficient," you watch as his other hand, metal, and cool comes to a rest at your shoulder, tugging you even more so to him, "i'd hate to think that was as good as you could do, sweet princess. you couldn't even rally the courage to kiss me back."
you look at him and decide that the jedi knight before you has changed. no longer was he the boy who followed along with your every whim with silent invocation, no longer the young man who engaged in your childish games— instead, the man before you had a presence that alone could send your mind rushing into quite debauched places.
"who said i ever thought about kissing you back in the first place." your voice is barely a mutter, despite the teasing intention.
anakin gives you a smug look, head tipping to the left, "you've grown to be quite the liar, princess."
your words go pointed, "you've grown overconfident."
in truth, he hadn't. his assumptions were correct, but how could you give in to him so easily? anakin is almost entirely overpowering, but you can see the soft pink tint on his cheeks. and you know you have an equal, if not greater, effect on him.
his metal arm is stern against you, and you feel his grasp growing stronger, almost evidence of your words.
lips upturned, he speaks, "overconfidence isn't what this is, i only wish to be useful, princess. how cruel it is to have my dedication be met with apprehension."
his words inflict a firey sensation deep within you, and the atmosphere between you seems to build, fizzling around. you feel as though your sanity has become severed— evolving into an amalgamation entirely made of him.
"and how remiss would i be if i didn't let you fulfill your favor?" your voice feels shakey, but you allow your own hands to find his shoulders, digging in ever so gently and forcing him closer.
he chuckles, eyebrows darting up in surprise, "horribly remiss i'm afraid."
your lips curve, "and this favor," you pause, narrowing your eyes, "you think it should be a kiss? that seems self-seeking."
the knight looks down to your lips, mirth clouding his features, "this is purely for your benefit, princess. don't you deserve the practice?"
in the back of your mind, you could find a tactful solution to this situation. perhaps something that involves stepping farther away from the man peering down at you, but strangely, you've never wanted to be closer to him than you do now.
"as if i need it, jedi." your voice is low when you speak, and you catch anakin's adam's apple hitch up.
you feel like your body is humming as you slide your hands from his shoulders— grazing over his clavicle, up, and towards his neck. you watch his eyes widen slightly, and you can hear his little intake of breath— you got him right where you wanted.
you look up at him once more, silently looking for approval, gratitude, need— something. the blue eyes peering down at you fail to disappoint.
you let yourself stand a bit taller and pull him down to you, inching up until your lips graze his own. you feel his smile when your lips brush, and you bite your tongue before kissing him.
your kiss is deliberate and delicate, but you're fully in control.
he gives into you so easily. he waits for you to pull him closer before he follows suit, nose pressing into the side of your own. he tastes of fruit, and you let your tongue slide into his mouth, greedy for him.
he exhales at that, palming your hips and pressing himself into you ever so slightly. you let out a lewd breath at that, and anakin breaks the kiss to lean his forehead on your own.
you wait a second before looking up at him, and he stares back down at you. his lips part again, but this time you expect them to be followed by words. possibly an apology or a rejection.
he surprises you instead, by dipping down to you once more. his hands trail up from your hips, stopping just below your breasts. you groan when you feel his lips begin to leave kisses along your jaw, trailing down toward your neck.
your shared behavior is absolutely improper for both of you, but you can't seem to care while he's leaving lingering kisses upon your neck, sending goosebumps along your flesh.
your hands push upward, fingers knotting themselves in his hair. you let yourself give his locks a little tug just as he begins to suck on your skin.
you catch your breath from his raw and desperate action. your heart pounds harder, the sensation overcoming you, sending a swell of pleasure through you. he takes every signal you give him, pulling himself closer to you until you can feel the flutter of his heartbeat against your chest.
his lips graze your ear before he speaks, voice barely a whisper, "i'd say we're even now, princess."
your eyes remain closed at his words, enjoying the feeling of his breath against you, "i'm not so sure, jedi."
his hands find a home at both sides of your face, and you look up at him, "and how does my crime of stealing your first kiss continue to go unpunished?"
you're not sure of what to say for a second, shocked still by the look of conviction caught in his eyes, "i never said i wanted to punish you for it."
he moves one hand from the side of your face, tracing it back down towards your hips. he smiles at your words, and looks up at the sky before answering in a low voice," then how else should i show my appreciation?"
you take a step back, leaning against the tree for support. you can feel his gaze on you, but before he can say anything your own bravery speaks up, "appreciation?"
He lifts an eyebrow at your remark and tilts his head inquisitively in response, "yes princess, don't you want me to show you how grateful i am?"
You grin devilishly in response and answer him confidently, “i think i could come up with something."
he grins back lazily, humming a response, and moves closer, hands still firmly positioned on either side of your face. his lips meet the corner of your smile. he leaves a gentle kiss there before meeting your lips with so much passion that your body feels faint.
each trace of his lips sends electric sparks through your body as his kisses fall down your neck towards your collarbone. you shiver at the touch, as he brushes across each sensitive spot. you feel as if he's satirizing you in some way until his lips finally meet the delicate area around your shoulders— leaving soft nipping kisses that cause an uncontrollable moan to escape from you.
you feel his hands drop to your dress' skirt, bunching up the tight fabric and inching it up. when his skin makes contact with the flesh of your thighs, you let your forehead drop to his shoulder.
anakin seems to like this motion, breath hitting against your ear again, "do you want me to touch you, princess?"
you feel overwhelmed, unable to speak past the lump in your throat. you manage a slight nod before finally croaking out, "yes."
anakin's hands immediately respond, brushing up the side of your thighs until they find their way near your pulsing cunt. you feel obscene and exposed by your own need, but anakin seems to grow more confident the closer his fingers dance to you. you hear him laugh lightly as you press yourself into him, silently begging for more.
he abides by your wish, nimble fingers beginning to stroke your clothed slit. you moan at the contact, voice somewhat muffled as your head remains at his shoulder. anakin however chooses this moment to speak, tone falsely saccharine, "sweet princess, aren't you going to tell me what you want? use your words."
for a brief second, you feel impossibly hot and annoyed. you'd rather not voice your desperation for him. you'd be reckless to follow his orders so blindly.
"you're the one with your hands under my dress. what is it you're wanting, jedi?" you finally draw your head back from him, eyes catching his.
anakin lets himself grin, haphazardly letting his thumb brush your needy nub. he watches as you attempt to hide the roll of your hips, "i want you."
he doesn't continue with words, no, he slides your underwear to the side and feels your wetness against his fingers. he lets out a low groan when you grip him tighter.
your back is pressed into the tree behind you and anakin's body seems to lock you in place, not that you'd move away from him now. not when he's teasing your opening and causing your mind to go wild.
"tell me what you want," he smirks, one digit dipping ever so slightly into your heat, "and i'll obey."
you screw your eyes shut, trying to calm yourself. your voice is uneven when you respond, "touch me, please."
he doesn't neglect your demand and he lets his finger slide into you, slow. you clench around the digit, hands snaking into his hair and forehead pressing against his own.
he lets you feel him, as deep inside you as he can possibly get, before sliding out and back in again. you want to scream at the way his digit barely hits the spongey part inside of you, but instead, you let your hands grasp him harder.
he takes pleasure in your whiney noises, pushing further into you before sliding out once more. you whine at his teasing, and you catch the softest grin on his lips as he presses into you, two fingers this time.
you feel more full of him, and the notion has you reeling.
"maker, anakin." you barely hear yourself when you speak, voice so low.
he arches his fingers inside you, hitting the spot that sends your weight fully into his being, "yeah? am i doing a good job princess?"
you hum in assurance, blissful and teetering the edge. you feel drunk with how good he feels, how good he's making you feel.
"good," you moan. "so good."
you cry out his name in praise, only to be met by a lament. the rumble that answers you sounds like distant thunder colliding with sand and stone. a rolling sensation races through your body at the sound of it. your heart thuds in your chest and he watches its movements in delight.
he seems to like the way you're falling apart for him, eyes unwavering in their view of you. slowly but surely, you feel him putting pressure right where you need it until you can hardly handle it anymore. anakin thrusts his digits faster and faster, and you can't help but pull quite firmly at his curls.
his throat elicits a wanton groan at the feeling, and you feel yourself rock your hips to meet his hand. you're so close to the brink.
"do you want to come? hm, want me to make you feel good." you can hear the strain in his voice.
"please, ani." your voice begging, warm at your own words.
his thumb finds your clit again, this time though, his touch isn't feather-light. no, instead he's cruel in the way he massages the bundle of nerves, leaving you a moaning mess beneath his body. he knows exactly how much pressure to use as he presses down on your bud repeatedly. making it impossible to form a coherent thought inside your head.
instead, all you can focus on is the thumb on your clit and the two digits in your core—driving into you relentlessly and the other pressing into you until your eyes shine white, you can feel yourself blanking.
his digits continue to pump in and out of you, humming his approval at your vulgar display— your eyes are heavy, legs unsteady, and lip slightly raw from biting it.
"i'm so close, anakin." you pant, fingers stiffening in his hair.
he whines, "yeah? let go, princess, i've got you."
and with one final plunge of his digits in and out of your warmth you feel a rather sudden wave overcoming your body, jolting everything inside and outside too. the sensation is a pure high, and you claw at anakin's shoulders until the feeling begins to subside. the night air suddenly feels so chilly, but you nuzzle closer into anakin. with you face hidden, you allow yourself a satisfied smile upon your, as well as anakin's, lips.
anakin grins down at you and kisses the top of your head in adulation before slowly removing his hands from you. you feel him trail his fingertips up your spine before speaking in a raspy tone, "how was that, princess?"
your body feels as if it could quaver at the sight of this man before you— a strong and assertive jedi warrior— so taken with you, eyes brimming down with a mixture of pride and adoration.
he pushes himself back slightly, still hovering above you, and looks down into your eyes with an unmistakable warmth in his gaze. you'e sure no one had ever looked at you like that before—like they wanted to consume every fiber of your being, of your soul.
anakin's eyes search yours for a moment before he presses his lips gently against yours in a temperate kiss.
as he moves away again, this time, drawing away enough to extend his arm above your head, fingers now clutching the tree's trunk.
you both remain still there for some time, taking comfort in each other's presence, until finally, anakin speaks softly again,"i thank the force to have met you, to know you. i've missed you, princess." his voice sounds brazen yet gentle.
his free hand lifts, raising your chin up to look into his eyes once more.
you hum, "you've grown better with apologies."
anakin huffs, lips upturned, "maybe, or perhaps solely for my benefit regarding you."
you roll your eyes, "is that what this was? some self-aggrandizing ruse?"
he smirks, eyes widening in faux horror, "never, princess. i only mean to say that i seem to behave best in your company. you wield a tight reign."
you can't help but smile at the compliment, unabashed. "i have no hold over you, jedi."
anakin's lips quirk into a fiendish grin as he reaches up to gently brush his thumb along your chin, "of course you do, princess," he murmurs softly. "of course you do."
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zeldasnotes · 1 year
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ASTRO OBSERVATIONS PART22🎄
For some reason Ive noticed that Virgo women adoooore Taurus men and vice versa. I know they trine but there is something special here.
I also noticed that Sagittarius Moons and Cancer Moons adore eachother. Once they meet they are inseperable.
If you have planets in the 8th house my advice to you is to always think about yourself first. Be extremely egoistic. Because you transform people. When people meet you they become better and then they leave. People want you to be their therapist, friend, personal trainer, personal advisor because they can sense your power. They want to take from you and have it to themselves. So be careful what you give and to who. Wait with giving your partner stuff until after you are married.
People with Mercury aspecting Pluto grew up in a home where there was a lot of backhanded comments or where the communication was toxic and sneaky and thats why Mercury/Pluto people think everything people say is a hidden dig towards them. They learned that behind every sentence there is a hidden meaning and now they analyze every word.
Biggie Smalls 11th house ruler is conjunct his Sun. He was very known for his friendship with tupac, also a suspect of Tupacs shooting. His image revolved a lot around friendships and groups.
I got my Moon in my 11th house and I will always respect a person whos humanitarian and fights for equality even if I dont like the person for personal reasons. While I could never respect someone who doesnt care.
My Valentine(447) conjunct a guys Sun got me acting crazy. Like I was so in love with him it was scary. It was the ”I would die for you” kind of love.
A pattern Ive noticed with men and their Venus sign when it comes to settling down:
Leo Venus: Goes for looks and confidence when choosing a life partner. They are the kindest and most generous men but they just NEED someone to show off.
Capricorn Venus: They need someone to build and empire with, they will choose stability and ambition over looks. They need the Blair Waldorf kind of woman. They need to be a powercouple.
Scorpio Venus: Sad but settles for someone who were not their first choice. The one who saves them but they never end up with ”that girl” and they keep dreaming of that special girl and stalks her on fb until they are like 80 years old.
Pisces Venus: They spend too much time dreaming of that perfect person while not even working on themselves to be someone that person would even want. Settles down with someone whos kind and feels bad for them.
Aquarius and Leo placements can sense when something is going to be fashion. They start wearing something and one year later everyone is wearing it.
Men with moon & venus in my 1st house always treats me like a Queen. I love them😭 They make me feel so beautiful❤️
In my opinion 8th house synastry is only nice when its with someone you are physically attracted to or have good synastry with otherwise its just annoying.
Every Sagittarius Venus Ive met had some kind of charm that made them very very popular without trying. They were also gorgeous. Two of my friends from high school had this and there were always some guy madly in love with them.
Ive met so many men with Venus aspecting Saturn who asked too much about my economy. Which was a huge turn-off for me. I showed them the door🚪
Lilith in the 2nd house cant go out without people commenting on their body or asking them where they bought their clothes. People are obsessed with their stuff.
Ive seen so many royal people who got Jupiter conjunct their IC. Or IC in Taurus. Example: Prince Harry, Queen Elizabeth, Kate Middleton.
Venus is pretty, Neptune is beautiful, Moon is cute, Mars is hot, Pluto is sexy, Saturn is perfect, Uranus is gorgeous, Mercury is foxy.
I notice that a modality, sign or even element can be prominent in a whole family or even a whole bloodline. In my family there is a dominance of cardinal energy. A lot of Aries Risings, Capricorn Risings, Cancer Moons and Capricorn Midheavens. So my family cares a lot about acting properly and to be respected. In my friends family there is fixed/scorpio dominance so there is a strong sense of loyalty and secrecy. In her family most family members dont even have social media, you never talk about a family member to outsiders, you spend holidays with family and dont invite friends etc. In my family image is everything and everyone is invited to make more connections. But in these families there is usually someone who lacks that energy and that person might be the black sheep of the family.
Pluto shows strong and intense emotions in the house it sits in. I know someone with Pluto in the 11th house and she got her best friends initials tattooed.💀
People with conjunctions to jupiter are just naturally funny.😂
People with personal planets in the 8th house experience more intense relationship because people who have conjunctions to their planets will also have planets in their 8th house. So they experience 8th house synastry even stronger than others. And if they have Lilith in the 8th house it will be extra strong because then they will have Lilith synastry with those who put planets in their 8th.
© Zeldas Notes 2022
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vashtijoy · 3 months
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Hi! Pre-emptive sorry for the long ask- I don't know if you've answered this before but I was scrolling through your blog and in one of your posts you note that the brief bit we see of Akira's hometown has high rise buildings, which implies it's a city. I could've sworn there was in game dialogue calling him a country boy though or referencing him being from a rural area? Is there something in the Japanese text to suggest these are meant to be taken as jokes (I.E. protag is from a city, but it's not as big as Tokyo so he's playfully considered 'rural') or is this a case of the game devs simply not considering what buildings they had in the background of that scene?
Hello! First of all, I think it's insanely unlikely that the game devs just forgot Joker was meant to be from a shack on top of a mountain and accidentally put him in a city. Maybe they didn't have time to design a farm and shoved him in a random cityscape instead? Well, maybe. I would at least have pasted in a couple more trees.
So what do we know about this?
Sojiro calls Joker 田舎もん inakamon, short for 田舎者 inakamono—someone from the countryside; someone provincial. This is what's translated as "country boy", or "country bumpkin". Chihaya uses it about herself, and Chihaya I think is certainly meant to be very rural. The Adorable Woman and Rural Young Man in Shibuya Station use inaka a lot:
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His name did not originally use inakamono or similar, by the way—he's the 上京してきた青年 joukyou shite kita seinen, "the young man who's moved to Tokyo". Note the moving-up kanji there, 上, lol—this is not a sideways move, it's a definite move up.
so what is the inaka?
In short, the inaka can be the remote countryside—but it can also just be your hometown, of any description. It can be legit anywhere that isn't Tokyo. Here's Tofugu:
My mouth was hanging open and I know I was being rude, but it was really hard to pull myself together. The woman I was speaking with was from one of the top Japanese Universities. She has had international relationships, traveled the world, and done work that most foreign anime fans would kill to see. Someone with her experiences, to me, should be open-minded about other cultures and lifestyles. Just the same, I can't help but to be bothered by what she said: "I feel like anything outside Tokyo's 23 wards is inaka." [...] Often, people usually just use what they read in the dictionary, but I learned fast that "countryside" in American English is much different than in Japanese English. For me, countryside means farms. Countryside is driving to see your closest neighbor, riding tractors for work and pleasure, and being able to immediately tell who's from your town just by looking at them. When I say this to Japanese people and ask them to explain inaka, the joke is always the same: "Inaka is anything outside of Tokyo." Osaka and Kyoto, for many, aren't inaka, but Sapporo, which is one of the few parts of the country where this legendary thing called "insulated housing" exists, is inaka. [...] So you might be wondering how "bad" it really is out here. Truthfully, I'm living in a city, at least by American standards. Great bus and train systems, tons of malls and movie theaters, some of the major stores people visit Tokyo to see, game centers, golfing… and a few rice paddies. Not many, but there are some. Imagine a fashionable mall, famous manga store, well-respected school with a strong baseball team, and major supermarket, all within walking distance, with maybe one field of rice. Honestly, the place is so city that I don't think I would willingly eat any rice that grew in that field. I swear, it's in front of a bus stop.
So, tl;dr: if you aren't in Tokyo, Osaka or Kyoto, you're probably in the inaka—at least to someone's mind. You can be somewhere that looks to us in every way like a city, and be in the inaka. And if you pick up sticks and move to Tokyo? Then you have a good chance of being jibed about being a "country boy".
so what is joker's inaka like?
[Joker] 田舎に帰りたい inaka ni kaeritai I miss the country... [lit. I want to go back to the inaka.] Ryuji ハハ、都会の洗礼ってか? haha, tokai no senrei tte ka? Hah. Not used to the big city yet, huh? [lit. Haha, so this is your first time in the city?]
We don't get a huge amount of detail in-game about Joker's home. Besides Sojiro's "country boy", Ryuji has a couple of comments. Here's another:
Ryuji あれ? お前ン家ってわりと田舎? are? omae n uchi tte wari to inaka? Wait a sec, your hometown isn't near the countryside, is it? [lit. isn't your place relatively countrified?] Ryuji いや、大自然でランニング練習とか気持ち良さそうだなーって。 iya, daishizen de ranningu renshuu to ka kimochi yasasou da naa tte I was just thinkin' it'd be great to run an' train somewhere out where it's all big, naturey open space. [lit. no, I thought it seemed like it'd feel great to train in the great outdoors and stuff.]
(I think something may be off here with that translation of daishizen, which seems to connote "the great outdoors", "a vast wilderness", etc, as well as just meaning "nature" (the sort you get out into) more generally". The word has been split up as if Ryuji was just saying "big nature" for some reason, like if you thought "the great outdoors" meant "the outdoors is great :D".)
But we can see from Ryuji's statement that Joker's home is wari to inaka, "relatively countrified", "kind of countrified"—it's more the country than Tokyo is, but it's probably not the ass end of nowhere, either. It's somewhere Ryuji pictures getting out into nature—but even if that's accurate and not just in Ryuji's city-boy head, that again doesn't connote "ass end of nowhere"; a lot of very built-up places are startlingly close to farmland or to nature, as with the putative rice field at the bus stop that we read about earlier.
the artbook picture
There is, of course, a picture of Joker's home in the artbook:
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That doesn't scream "rural" to me—though it's also not the built-up area we see him in with Shido. It backs onto a cliff, it's very green. It's clearly a row of houses on a street, maybe in a fancy suburb on the edge of the city?
It's a nice house, at any rate. Joker moving into Sojiro's attic, with his clothes in a box, will have been a harsh step down.
Another detail from this image before we move on:
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Look at this board. We can make out what it says. We can even, just possibly, make out a town name there...
日立自治会 掲示板 hitachi jichikai keijiban Hitachi Neighbourhood Association noticeboard
自治会 jichikai—neighbourhood associations. As you'd expect, they tend to be organised at the very local level—so Hitachi is likely to be a small district within a larger city, rather than (say) the city of Hitachi in Ibaraki Prefecture.
his city has a name guys i can't believe it lmao
the coup de grace
But there's one question I think really puts the nail in the coffin here: WTF was Shido doing in the middle of nowhere?
It's totally plausible that Joker came from a remote farm in the country, or a tiny village in far northern Honshu. But what is there in that to attract Shido? Like... Shido seems kind of an indoor guy, y'know?
He goes where his business is. He goes where the money is. It's difficult for me to picture him going to random rural areas with nobody to schmooze, with what I'm sure he'd consider to be poor facilities and shitty hotels.
Even if he did stoop to visit somewhere like that, by the time he was on his off hours getting pissed (in both senses) and attacking women, wouldn't he have gone back to civilisation?—back to the city?
conclusion??
This place Joker is wandering after dark doesn't look like The Country. It looks quite built up. I'd say it's the centre of a regional city or large town—with those nice houses we just looked at set off in suburbs along its edge. Look at this place:
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It really does look like a less cramped version of Yongen-jaya, down to the trees. I don't think they spent too long on this area, but I also don't think it's inaccurate.
By the way, that "Hometown Neighbourhood" was originally 実家近くの住宅地 jikka chikaku no juutakuchi—"residential area near home". So this is not where Joker lived with his parents; it's an area close by. Like he says, he's on his way home late.
Where was he? We never find out. He has what looks like a school bag, well before his nasty crime days. Maybe he was visiting a friend we never hear about again. Maybe he was at cram school. But he's gone to this built-up part of town to do something there.
My guess would be that he lived in some prefectural capital or other. That's why Shido is there. I'd also guess that it's one of the Kanto prefectures, since the further you go from Tokyo, the less likely it becomes that Joker would have been sent to Tokyo for his probation, whether Sojiro was a friend of a friend or not.
As ever, all of this is for information only, and if you want to do something else superior in every way, you definitely should. At the end of the day Joker's a silent protagonist player insert, who can be from absolutely anywhere and as gay as you like. Let a thousand Jokers bloom.
revision history
Click here for the latest version.
v1.0 (2024/01/17)—first posted.
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lola-bunn1 · 1 year
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hey!! i don’t know if you’re taking requests but if you are could you do one where lo’ak realizes he is in love with the reader? like they are best friends but in a moment he notices he wants to be more than this?
part two
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You and Lo'ak have been best friends for the longest time, you did everything together. You grew up together and never left each other's side.
When the sky people came, your parents insisted on you leaving with the Sully's. They wanted you safe, and anywhere Toruk Makto was had to be safe.
You eventually agreed and said your goodbyes. Sure, you were a little sad that you had to leave your parents, but at least you were with your best friend.
You two were extremely close to each other, you knew things about each other that no one else did. You knew his secrets and he knew yours.
And his parents actually liked you, so they didn't mind taking you with them. When you got there, you stood quietly as they spoke.
Ronal, the Tsahik, inspected the family. She grabbed Lo'ak's arms and revealed his hands to the world
"They have demon blood!" She yelled, and you couldn't help but feel bad for him. He looked to you and then to ground, as if ashamed of himself.
You wanted to speak up, but Jake beat you to it
"Hey, look, see?" He said as he showed her his hands, "I was one of the sky people and now I'm Na'vi. We can adapt, right?" He spoke as everyone agreed
You kept looking at Lo'ak, seeing him just staring at the ground, clearly something on his mind
Once the clan agreed, you all went to the marui and placed your things.
"Alright everyone, family meeting" Jake said as they all huddled into a circle, you were about to leave to give them some privacy, but Neytiri called for you just as you were about to walk out
"You are family too, y/n" She said, and you nervously smiled and sat next to Lo'ak
"Look, I want you all on your best behavior. Be nice and treat them well, no funny business, I'm talking to you, Lo'ak. Stay out of trouble, I mean it." He sternly said and you placed your hand on Lo'ak's back, he looked to you and and looked away again
For the next couple of days, you took lessons with the Olo'eyktan's children, and began learning their ways. Tsireya was quite nice, but her brother was quite the opposite.
You remembered Jake's words, and didn't want to cause any trouble. You sat with Kiri as she dipped her head in the water, looking at the sand.
"What is she doing?" Someone asked, you looked up to see Ao'nung and his friends laughing
"She's just looking at the sand!"
"So?" You asked, they turned to you, Kiri lifted her head up
"Did you say something?" Kiri asked
"Are you some kind of...freak?" Ao'nung asked
"He asked if you were a freak." Rotxo said
You sighed and pulled Kiri up, "Let's just go" You said as you both walked away, but they were quick to surround you
"I mean look at her!" Ao'nung laughed, "And look at you!" He said as he grabbed your tail, you quickly pushed him away
"Get away from her, fishlips!" Lo'ak yelled, pushing them away from you, and they all turned to him
"Oh look it's the other freak" Ao'nung laughed
"Leave us alone!" Kiri yelled
Neteyam pushed Ao'nung off Lo'ak, "You heard what she said. Leave them alone."
Ao'nung raised his hands in surrender, "And from now on, I need you to respect y/n and my sister." Neteyam said
As you began walking away, you could hear Ao'nung talking about you
"How can you respect a girl that looks like that" Ao'nung muttered, Lo'ak turned to him
"I may have 5 fingers, but look what I can do with them" Lo'ak said, and they all looked at him, "You close it up like this, real tight, then you just-" He said and punched him right in the face, "it's called a punch, bitch. Don't ever talk about y/n again"
Ao'nung punched him back, and they all joined in, causing Neteyam to help him out
"Stop!" You yelled as Kiri laughed, "Kiri!" You turned to her
"What! They look stupid" She laughed again and you sighed
You stood outside as Neteyam and Lo'ak were being scolded by Jake
"What was the one thing I asked! The one thing." Jake said
"Stay out of trouble-"
"Stay out of trouble!" Jake cut Lo'ak off
"It was my fault-" Neteyam said
"I don't think so. You gotta stop taking the heat for this knucklehead!" Jake glared at Lo'ak
"Dad, Ao'nung was picking on y/n, and called Kiri a freak." Lo'ak explained, Jake sighed
"Go apologize to Ao'nung-"
"But dad-"
"I don't care how you do it. Just, go make peace." Jake said, Lo'ak walked out and you were quick to follow him
"Lo'ak" You said, and he just kept walking
"Just leave me, y/n" He said and you stopped following him, you sighed and went looking for Neytiri to help her
Hours had passed, and there was no sign of Lo'ak. You went to Neteyam to see him walking along the shore
"Neteyam!" You called out
"Y/n? What is it?" He asked
"Lo'ak-"
"What did he do this time?" He sighed
"No, no. He didn't do anything." You sternly said, "You have to go talk to Ao'nung."
"Why?"
"Last time I saw Lo'ak, he went to go apologize to him. I haven't seen him since." You said in a worried tone
Neteyam noticed how it was almost eclipse, and nodded at you.
You tried to calm yourself down, but you couldn't help but worry. A few minutes later you heard a loud conch horn, you saw everyone gathered somewhere and went there
You saw them all calling out his name, and took deep breaths. You might just kill Ao'nung.
"They found him!" Someone yelled, and you were quick to go see him
"Lo'ak!" You yelled as you ran to hug him, "What happened?" You asked, you turned to see Ao'nung looking at him regretfully
"Hey!" Jake said, grabbing him, "Let me get a look at you" He said, Lo'ak glared at Ao'nung while his dad checked him, "He's fine, just a few scratches, he's fine."
Neytiri came and glared at him, "I pray for the strength that I will not pluck the eyeballs out of my youngest son" She muttered as she hissed at him
"No, my son knows better than to take him outside the reef." Tonowari said, making his son kneel, "The blame is his."
Jake sighed, "Okay let's just-"
"No" Lo'ak said, "This is not Ao'nung's fault. It was my idea, he tried to talk me out of it."
"Lo'ak" You said, widening your eyes
"I'm sorry" He said to Ao'nung
"Come on" Jake said
As they walked away, Jake stopped and glared at him
"Dad you told me to make friends with these kids. That's all I was trying to do-"
"I don't wanna hear it." Jake said, "You brought shame to this family."
Your heart broke for him, nobody ever saw how hard he was trying.
Lo'ak just stayed quiet, "Can I go now?" He asked
Jake warned him again before letting him go, you quickly followed
"Lo'ak-"
"Y/n just leave me alone-"
"I know it wasn't you who told him to go outside the reef." You said and he stopped in his place, "Why did you take the blame?"
He sighed and looked away, "Because I know what it's like being a huge disappointment to your family."
You stared at him for a second, "Lo'ak..." You whispered as you held his hands, "Do not listen to your father, you are not a disappointment. It wasn't your fault-"
"Whatever it doesn't matter-"
"Why doesn't it matter!"
"Because that's all I'm gonna be, okay? To my family, I'm a disappointment. To my clan, I'm an alien, demon blood. That's all anyone ever sees" He sighed
You looked right into his eyes, "You are no alien, Lo'ak. You are part of us. I know you keep trying to prove yourself to your father and it blows up in your face, but believe me, one day he will see you, Lo’ak.”
Hearing your words made him realize something, all these years, all this time, you’ve stood by him. you comforted him, you hung out with him
you liked him for him.
you didn’t hang out with his brother, you hung out with him.
you didn’t scold him, you comforted him
you were the only person that’s ever made him feel like this.
he was in love with you.
When he snapped back to reality, you were hugging him tight
If only you knew how much he loved you…
❥ a/n: part two?? 🤭
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bellezaycafe · 3 months
Text
Get Your Shit Together - Chapter 3
genre: 2024 Season AU
pairing: there will be romance but I haven't finalised who yet. platonic! oc x literally the whole grid.
warnings: swearing
context: Sadie, a 20 year old university student from Melbourne, decided to take a gap year and volunteer at 2 Formula One races in different countries.
Sadie's Faceclaim: Maia Mitchell (but you can visualise her howver you want :) )
comments: I guess this is a series now. I'm keeping the title Get Your Shit Together because I think Sadie is the kind of person who pretends to have her shit together but doesn't, so she helps everyone else get theirs together.
Part 1 | Masterlist
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----$----
Max Verstappen was in a paddock interview when someone caught his eye. Dark brown hair, round face, sharp nose and a confident aura that compared to no others.
“Wait- hang on. Lewis, Lewis.” The older man looked over and his gaze followed Max’s pointed finger. “Mate, is that who I think it is?”
“Yeah mate, I think so.” Lewis’ smile only grew as he agreed.
“Who are you pointing too?” the interviewer asked.
Max hoped that she was just out of view of the cameras as he said, “the volunteer from Australia. The good one.”
He didn’t know how else to explain his respect for her in English; to him, she was good.
“It’ll be good to finally learn her name,” Lewis mused, scratching at his neat stubble.
“None of you know her name?” The reporter asked.
“No,” Lewis said into Max’s microphone. “I never had the chance to find her after the interviews.”
“I saw her the next day, I apologised for my behaviour to her,” Max commented. “But I forgot to ask her for her name.”
The reporter shook his head. “Alright well, thank you both for your time.”
Max nodded respectfully while Lewis said, “thank you.”
Then they both charged through the crowd towards the last place they saw the woman.
“Bets on her name?” Lewis asked.
“I don’t know. Something very Australian?”
“I feel like she’s a Layla or a Nira.”
"I think it's Sadie," came Lando's voice as he squished himself between the champions. "I asked Dave, one of the McLaren staff."
But when they reached the spot she had been, she'd vanished.
Max frowned and tried to use his height to see her but it was hopeless. Lewis pulled his phone out of nowhere and dialed a number. Lando just sat on the edge of a nearby pot plant.
"Heya," Lewis said into his phone. "I'm gonna need a paddock pass for our garage."
A pause.
"No, ass. I haven't found someone for the weekend and I don't intend to. It's for the girl from Melbourne, the volunteer George told you about... Yes, I know Carmen wants to meet her, that's why I'm asking you for a paddock pass."
Lando laughed from his seat, something boisterous and loud that had surrounding staff glancing over. Max was glad to hear his laugh again, it had been too long since they had hung out.
"No, I don't know her last name. I haven't even confirmed her first name... I can't ask her, she's not in front of me... I don't know where she is, we saw her from a distance... Max and Lando... Alright, fine. We'll find her."
Lewis hung up and sighed with a glance to the sky.
"They won't give you a pass?" Max guessed.
"They need her name first."
"Did you see who she was with?" Lando asked.
"Yeah," Lewis said. "Some paramedics. I recognised Mark, he's been the on call medic for years."
Max mulled over the fact he hadn't noticed anyone around her. He also mulled over the excitement little Lando Norris was trying to squash.
"I know where the medic tent is." He almost leapt up from his perch.
Lewis gave Max a knowing smirk as they disappeared into the crowd.
——$——
Sadie had no idea they had seen her. She was hoping that none of the drivers would remember her. She still hadn't seen their interviews from Melbourne and was clueless about the actions the FIA had taken to hand out penalties directly after the race.
"Hungry?" Mark, a middle-aged paramedic with greying blonde hair and smile lines besides his eyes, asked.
"I am starving, please tell me there is somewhere I can get a decent sanga."
Mark frowned. "Sanga?"
"Sandwich," Sadie corrected. She was almost bouncing as she spotted the food trucks.
"You Australian's are weird," Mark commented but he couldn't hide his smile.
"And you English are uncultured," she returned.
She liked Mark, they'd met yesterday during practices and clicked. He was her supervisor during the free practice sessions and qualifying but she'd stuck by his side off track too. He didn't mind, he knew she was there, on the other side of the world, alone, to work for a sport she loved.
He'd told her at the volunteer's group dinner last night that she was living the dream he had wanted to at 20. He'd had a couple wines and would not shut up about how much his wife would love to meet her.
"Mark, what do you want?" she called over her shoulder as the reached the sandwich truck. When he didn't reply, she glanced behind her.
He was 100 metres back, talking to none other than Sir Lewis Hamilton. Sadie turned back around, remembering their interaction in Melbourne.
Another body stepped up beside her, swathed in bright orange.
Correction: Papaya.
Sadie didn't turn, assuming it was a McLaren employee looking fro some early lunch.
"It's a surprise to see you here." Lando offered the icebreaker.
She turned at his voice and fought to keep her composure. His brown curls swished as he turned his head towards her.
"I didn't think you'd remember me," she said truthfully. Sadie focused her eyes on the bridge of his nose as she spoke, she didn't want to meet those ever-changing eyes. She'd already noted that they matched the day's grey sky.
"Most of us did." The driver shrugged. "Carmen, George's partner, wants to meet you. Lewis is trying to get you Mercedes paddock passes."
Sadie groaned at that, stepping closer to the food truck as the line moved forwards. "I'm not stepping near any of your garages unless I'm doing my job. Too many cameras, too many people."
Lando laughed. "Understandable, but Lewis is determined."
Sadie paused for a moment as the line moved again. "How about, I will come and meet George and Carmen after the race? I'll meet Carmen while Lewis and George do their interviews and debriefs?"
The same brown curls swayed as Lando nodded. "I think they'll agree to that. All the cameras will be focused on the interviews and top three."
Sadie made an 'exactly' gesture and stepped up to the food truck with a goodbye wave.
By the time she had ordered her sandwich and Mark's signature wrap, the drivers had finished speaking with the paramedic.
He joined her while they waited.
"You never told me it was you who scolded Max in Melbourne," Mark noted.
Sadie muttered a curse. "I was hoping that everyone had forgotten about that. I lost my temper and I'm not proud of it."
"Lewis said that you stood up for yourself."
"I scolded him like a school teacher."
"You did call him a child."
"Angry, remember?"
"Sandwich and wrap for Sadie!" the food vendor shouted.
She stepped up, collected their food and handed her wrap to Mark.
"I didn't tell anyone about it because don't like media attention," she told him. "I hate how how the media follow the drivers. They have to fight for a private life, and I hate that. Max was angry, I was angry, and that interaction was something between the drivers and I. It had nothing to do with the fan's consumption of the race."
Mark hummed his agreement around his wrap.
"The media circus doesn't know what happened, and they don't need to. His reaction was fair, and they don't need to be involved."
Sadie watched something pass over Mark's face but she couldn't place what it was. She devoured her sandwich instead.
----$----
Please let me know about how you feel about the direction this thing is going!!
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ddollfface · 2 months
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𝐀 𝐇𝐚𝐫𝐝𝐞𝐧𝐞𝐝 𝐃𝐞𝐯𝐨𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧
𝙅𝙖𝙘𝙠 𝙃𝙖𝙣𝙢𝙖 𝙔𝙖𝙣𝙙𝙚𝙧𝙚 𝙃𝙚𝙖𝙙𝙘𝙖𝙣𝙤𝙣𝙨 (Pt.2)
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Warnings; bad writing, possessive behavior, really ooc (I'm 90% sure that I missed the mark on this one), talks of Diane's rape, yandere if you really squint ig. If I missed anything, then please let me know ♡ Oml, tumblr's being a little bitch right now, I literally cannot right now. I'm going to repost Pt.1 and Pt.2. I'm so sorry, I have no clue as to why I have a word limit rn... Just know that this is super ooc :/
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When Jack falls, he falls hard, and let's just say that he's never fallen. Throughout his whole life, his only goal was to avenge his mother and bring back her honor, hoping to achieve this by defeating his father, Yuujirou Hanma. Jack, himself, has stated multiple times throughout the show that he has no interest in women, money, or fame, only wanting to achieve his goal of revenge. This obviously means that he has no experience with women, and unlike Kastumi, it's by choice. He doesn't want to fall in love.
I think that Jack doesn't believe in love, that it's something that's fake and fabricated to appease another. There's no such thing as love at first sight and wanting to hold someone for comfort and not just to get off. These thoughts are so out of Jack's worldview that he sees them as just fiction that others' are pathetic enough to believe.
And, adding to that, I think that Jack would have a hard time understanding Baki and his relationship with Kozue. Baki and Kozue have been there for each other, showing true love, something that Jack's never had. Jack eventually learns to respect Baki, after some trial and error throughout the series, but he can't seem to understand why someone like Baki would believe in something as fictional as love.
Moving on from that, I think that Jack's childhood developed this sense of disgust toward love and just being vulnerable in general. I mean, imagine being born to a woman who was raped by the man she was supposed to kill, that's obviously not going to be the best childhood.
I can't imagine that Diane, Jack's mama, would ever show him such motherly love that's expected from a mama to her son. I think that's partially because of how Jack was conceived and her personality. Diane, whether it was a part of her persona as 'Jane' or not, was portrayed as a cold woman who had little regard for human life, and I can't see how she'd ever show warmth toward Jack when he was young.
While we don't know much about Jack's childhood or what happened to Diane later on in her life, I'm assuming that she never pursued relations with any other man, seeing as Yuujiro's actions caused her such distress. This means that Jack never grew up with a father figure present in his life, rather than his absent father, Yuujiro.
I'd assume that Diane would never speak nicely of Yuujiro, seeing as he raped her, and it was her original intention to kill him. Because children are like sponges, Jack probably absorbed all of Diane's hatred and general negativity towards his father, as he should, and internalized this anger.
Overall, Jack's situation growing up left no room for him to experience what love looked like, in a healthy manner. He never had parents who lead a good example, keeping him in the dark about any positives of being in a relationship. And that's what I think the root is for his distaste for being vulnerable, and the idea of being in a relationship with another.
Not only that, but I think that his mama's rape only caused Jack to view sex in a negative light, seeing that's how he was conceived. Now, I don't think that Jack is repulsed by sex in general, but I just think that he doesn't find it as welcoming (?) as other men would. I'm not too sure how to phrase it, but it's just not appealing to him, compared to most men.
However, that changes when he meets you, you, you.
There's no such thing as 'love at first sight' to Jack. He has to know a person for a year or so before he even considers having a lengthy conversation with them, where he actually puts a little effort into speaking with them. Jack's a very closed-off individual who has severe trust issues, as most figures do, and he can't open up to someone he's known for a short time.
This means that for you to catch his attention, that means that there's something special that he saw, whether you notice it or not doesn't matter. Jack saw something in you. Maybe it was how transparent you were, possibly your wisdom, it doesn't matter too much.
(little side tangent)
Though I do see Jack enjoying a partner who's similar to a therapist, someone with a lot of advice to give, someone with a shit ton of wisdom. An observer would be a good fit for Jack, they don't have to be studious or very loud, and he doesn't mind either. It's just that he needs someone who can read him easily because Jack has his own language of sorts (@yandere-writer-momo has discussed this in some of her posts).
It's odd because Jack is oh so blunt, but he holds back whenever it comes to his emotions, wanting to avoid being vulnerable. He doesn't hesitate to threaten someone or tell them that he doesn't like him, he doesn't have a problem with that. But whenever he finds you pretty, or likes the dress you're wearing, even if he thinks you're not taking care of yourself, he'll always phrase it in a "brutish" way.
Instead of saying "Your hair looks nice today" or "Have my jacket, you look cold," instead, he'll say "Did you do something to your hair? It doesn't look like shit today" or "You're built like a stick, you should work out more" as he hands you his jacket (more so throwing it over your shoulders and walking away).
And that's why he needs someone who can read through his insulting behavior, knowing that he's just shielding himself from appearing weak. Being observant is a requirement to having a successful relationship with Jack, and possibly with most of the men in Baki. All of them are so emotionally constipated, that they need someone who can read them like a book to actually have a progressive relationship.
Because of your ability to allow him to open up without words he knows attached, always thinking about you, you, you. He needs to protect you, the one person who understands him on a different level than everyone else. You're able to calm him down with a simple nod, practically telling him that you understood what he was trying to say. You don't just see him as the son of Yuujiro Hanma or as the man who's ruined his body with steroids and intense training techniques, instead, you see him as Jack.
The initial attraction he had toward you, when you first crossed paths, was more superficial than what I was talking about in the previous paragraph. It's most likely a simple case of curiosity that drew him to you. You somehow stood apart from others, causing his eyes to drift to you every time he scanned a crowd. It's possible that you were overly positive, keeping a smile on your face no matter what, or you were oddly quiet, silently observing everyone.
It could've just been your looks that made you attractive! Though Jack is emotionally stunted, even he can appreciate a nice piece of ass!
Either way, throughout the time and as your relationship progresses, the more you two talk, the more he begins to respect your character. Jack begins to see you for who you are and understands that you see him the way he sees you. (sorry that was a confusing sentence lol)
I'm not too sure if any of you have seen the movie Avatar, but in the movie, they use the phrase 'I see you,' and I think that it fits Jack's personality perfectly. It's more than love to Jack, and he likely doesn't even comprehend that it's love in the first year or so. It's something deeper than that, it's understanding each other on a primal level. Jack doesn't just understand your body and how it moves, or what to do to get it going, he understands how you think, and how you feel. But not in a weird way, in a loving way, y'know?
The two of you are like other halves, you'd have to be for Jack to pursue you. Jack has to know that you're meant for him. He's never even considered dating another person, let alone revealing himself to someone else.
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deathmetalunicorn1 · 3 months
Note
Hello!~
Can you do a whitebeard x fem reader?
Basically the reader is whitebeard biological daughter and she's the stagetist of the whitebeard pirates
She's only a year younger than ace who has this HUGEEEE crush on her and is willing to do anything (kinda found this ironic considering that ace is Roger son and the reader is the whitebeard bio daughter)
The reader is often referred as the " Gem of pirates", "The of Lady of whitebeard pirates", and " Lady name"
The reader is often baby by others but knows how to fuck up someone
How would ace and her first interact? How he courts her? Maybe the crew getting protective once they learned her and ace dates
(Maybe set in where thatch, whiteboard, and ace lived pls)
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Can you also based reader outfit out of this? Oh~ and maybe her weapon can be like a gun hidden within the umbrella
-It had taken so many attempts, so many failures, for Ace to join Whitebeard’s crew, and while initially annoyed, Whitebeard grew fond of the hotheaded young man who never seemed to give up, and he fit in with all his other brats.
-Your papa knew that you could handle yourself, you wouldn’t have been on the ship otherwise if you couldn’t, and everyone knew that you could and will put anyone in their place, papa included.
-You were known throughout the world as Whitebeard’s Daughter, but you were also referred to as Gem of Pirates, as you were like a gem, closely guarded by your papa and your ‘big brothers’, and nobody was allowed to get close to you.
-However… Whitebeard could only stare across the deck of the ship, seeing you, his biological child and only daughter, smiling and laughing with many of the others, while Ace looked at you like he was a lovesick pup.
-During Ace’s journey of joining, you had been watching from afar, so he had never met you until he officially joined when you came out during his welcome party, as your dad used anything as an excuse to drink.
-When Ace first saw you, all his previous confidence drained out of him instantly as he turned bright red and could only speak gibberish to you, which quickly had the whole ship laughing at him and they had never let him live it down on how shy he was with you.
-You thought it was rather cute to be honest, to see him so flustered, he wasn’t like the normal pigs who would go after you, treating you with no respect, Ace was a gentleman, calling you Lady Y/N, something that quickly went through the crew and soon everyone was calling you that, something you thought was annoying at first, but it grew on you.
-Papa trusted you, he knew that you could handle Ace, if he were to ever try something, but something, in his gut, told him that Ace wasn’t that type of man, but still, papa must worry, as having such a pretty daughter comes with big responsibilities!
-Plus, you also had a crew full of brothers who wouldn’t hesitate to throw hands for you, if you were to ask them too, so you were completely safe!
-This was something Ace learned early on, when he tried getting closer to you, as many took him to a secluded area on the ship and threatened him that if he were to try anything, they wouldn’t hesitate.
-As he learned, spending time with the crew and the ship, Ace soon was another of your protectors, not hesitating to leap first if he felt like you were being disrespected, which caused more problems for you.
-You already had to play babysitter with a lot of these impulsive idiots, you didn’t need another, especially one who was a hot head and had a flame Devil Fruit ability!!
-Ace was so soft on you, to him, you hung the stars in the skies just for him, and he is unworthy of your attention, but he wants it all for himself.
-However, he still gets shy if you look directly at him, unable to maintain eye contact with you, something you thought was really cute, poking his cheek as you teased him playfully while all the others picked on him.
-Whitebeard could only watch with a grin on his face, seeing Ace leaping up at Marco and Thatch, looking like a demon, “You bastards!!” as you leapt, grabbing the back of his pants to keep him from killing the other two commanders, “Knock it off, you idiots!!”
-Whitebeard enjoyed seeing his brats so lively, all of them.
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konigbabe · 1 year
Text
the version of you and me
Pairing: John Price x fem!reader
Word count: 4.6k
Tags/Warnings: smut; nsfw; angst and feels; age gap; gendered terminology; female anatomy; alcohol; cunnilingus; oral sex (fem receive); safe sex; protected sex; soft sex; love making; feelings realization; smut wiht feelings
Summary: John was a beacon, a lighthouse that kept you safe and warm in the raging storms of life. He was the one constant in your life, the one person you could always count on. No matter what happened in your life, he was there for you and that made all the difference.
A/N: Not sure whether this should be also classified as angst - what do you think? Requested by @sinclxirx. Part of my A to Z kinks game [A is for Age Gap].
Song associated: To Be Alone by Hozier
masterlist • faq • AO3 • ko-fi
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That night, embraced in his presence, you felt like you were drowning. Drowning in an endless abyss of feelings. His eyes were dark pools of emotion, and you felt yourself falling into them, unable to resist; his touch gentle, as if he was trying to capture the essence of your soul; his lips inviting and you felt his warmth radiating through your entire body. You felt safe, secure, and so incredibly alive.
His lips followed the curves of your collarbones, caressing each crevice of your body. Soft grunts, words of adoration and praise flew from his mouth as he worshipped you to your highs, prolonging the feeling of your heat wrapped around him, underneath him, between his fingers.
They were here again.
He was here again.
Similar crew to the last time, few changed; they always do. Sitting at the other side of the pub, side by side, he sat closest to you - his men by his right. Music surrounded you like a cloud of smoke, the same old songs with a new beat. The conversation ebbed and flowed between them like the tide of the sea, and you found yourself drawn to them; like always.
Only his name was a constant though; years of seeing the familiar face, the same blue eyes, eyes squinting, wrinkles pooling around them as he smiled, laughed occasionally. Him and the skull face; they called him Ghost, you learned early on - other soldiers respected him, he respected him. During your first shifts, that man was someone you avoided like the devil himself; but he was indifferent to you, reverent even.
Soon enough, you found yourself drawn to him and the captain. The two of them a comfort zone during long shifts; as you served the soldiers, avoiding their touches, slaps and whistles; these two offered peace in their silence and nonchalance.
Over the years, your eyes started to search his whenever you entered the pub. John Price, his name a sweet melody, as sweet as honey on your tongue. He was a lieutenant back then; back when you got to know him first.
“What’s with the sad face, darling?” he’d ask one day. Sitting at the pub, he came with a woman; a pretty one, around his age, a civilian; based on her clothes. American, you deduced.
Never before you attempted to have a conversation with any soldier at the pub; most of them left too drunk out of their minds to ever remember you, you believed. He wasn’t one of them - he’d start with a glass of bourbon on ice, savoring the bittersweet taste as the rest of his crew drank one pint of beer after another.
The woman left soon after he introduced himself; John.
Since then, he was the reason you looked forward to your job. The conversations grew longer. Deeper. More meaningful. He offered you a hand in friendship and you took it. It was a friendship that was built on trust and understanding, and it was something that you treasured. Your life was changing constantly; people came and went as you lived through university. He was that one constant in it.
John was the first person to congratulate you on your degree; you were the first outside military to congratulate him on becoming captain. He watched you grow, celebrated your achievements with you. You, in turn, helped him as he stepped into a leadership role. Always there for him, offering words of encouragement, advice, and support. You both had each other's back; yet you never saw each other outside that dimly lit pub - with a front pub separating each and every conversation. Or it used to be like that.
Later on, you started wondering if him being a captain was something you should applaud him for. His visits to the pub became less frequent. Deployments started to be longer. The people, his crew, changed constantly. He aged; not only with time - worry and the weight of his decisions had taken their toll. He grew a beard, it suited him though. His voice became rougher. Stern. Demanding.
The role of captain suited him; there was no doubt, but it took away the John you once knew. He had to take on a mantle of authority and honor, and it came with a certain amount of gravity and seriousness. But, despite all of this, he still had a good heart beneath it all.
A pang of pain occasionally exploded in your chest when you saw some of his team members at the pub. But not him. The worst-case scenarios always wandered into your brain, but you still had hope. Praying for the best, you focused on what was within your control at the time.
When he came, you’d stay with him. It was a routine you developed quietly; he’d stay and wait for your shift to be over, you’d sit by his side after, a drink in your hand as you talked the night away. He’d tell you about his adventures, people he’d met - not in detail, he wasn’t allowed to do that; he talked vaguely about everything as if he was reciting a movie.
Those moments were like an anchor to you. It was your own little world, and you were content in it. John was a beacon, a lighthouse that kept you safe and warm in the raging storms of life. He was the one constant in your life, the one person you could always count on. No matter what happened in your life, he was there for you and that made all the difference.
Then you’d part your ways. He would always leave last, sending you off into the night with a good night.
The more you got to know the captain, the more intrigued you became by him. The friendship blossomed, sometimes becoming the talk of his crew; they’d sneak looks at you, whisper among themselves (especially those you learned to be Johnny and Gaz), sharing a knowing smile and you knew; you knew that they knew.
He didn’t know. Or at least never acknowledged it.
Eventually, your conversations outgrew the walls of the pub and you found yourself on the chilly streets of London, laughing and talking about the day's events.
Gaz’s words of encouragement echoed in your mind, alcohol rushing through your veins as you walked through the city. The streetlights shone on the cobblestone streets, illuminating your path. John talked most of the time, your eyes staring at the night sky; stars barely visible.
It took years for John to find out where you lived; yet you never knew much about him in that way, you realized. He had a girl back when he was a lieutenant, that much he told you. That didn’t last long for him as his job took most of his life away, taking the girl away too.
John never dared to cross the doorstep. Your doorstep. The first time you asked, it was an innocent invite; it was extremely late, almost an early morning, and in the middle of January, the coldest time to be in London, and you felt bad letting him go into the bitter cold. Not knowing where he lived, where his home was, you didn’t know if he’d get any sleep before work; at your place, he could at least take a nap.
He retreated; with a thank you and have a good night, he was gone.
The second time, your intentions differed. Walking side by side, arms linked, his gloves warmed your freezing hands; he kept his own in his pockets as he walked you home; he seemed to always do that as of lately.
Each step brought you closer to him. Joined at hips, you cherished the moment. The beanie, his beanie, messed up your hair but you didn’t mind. You watched as he talked, a cloud of cold breeze surrounding his blueish lips as cold nicked at his face. Face illuminated by the ring of light cast by his cigar that he pulled from his jacket when you left the pub; the chilly night was filled with sweet smoke billowing from his mouth.
His words quickly dissipated into the darkness of midnight. Eyes fixated on the way his lips wrapped around the head of the cigar, you watched as he sucked the smoke in before exhaling it out of his lungs, the smoke curling up in the air, creating a mesmerizing show of shapes and figures before eventually melding with the night sky.
It felt like a fever dream for a moment, John’s side profile blurry, the golden glow of the cigar contrasting with the inky darkness of the night and the faint stars twinkling in the background.
The bright blue of his eyes seemed to sparkle with a certain kind of warmth as he looked at you; the stillness of the London streets was almost deafening, the only sound being John’s steady footsteps echoing in the night air as you made your way home.
“You wanna try?” he tipped the cigar your way, “it’ll warm ya up.”
The warm twinkle emanating from his eyes seemed to draw you in. Shaking your head, you murmured, “I shouldn’t smoke, it’s bad for your health.”
His arm shook as he laughed, the sound of his amusement vibrant and joyful.
He leaned onto your side, his hand still cradling the rich brown cigar, and said, “I worry about your health, too. But sometimes it’s nice to do something just a little bit wrong, don’t you think?”
His eyes twinkled with mischief and his lips curled into a mischievous smirk. You couldn't help but feel a flutter of excitement as you looked into his eyes, and you found yourself considering his offer.
“Just this once,” you raised a finger. He nodded, the familiar close-lip smile appearing on his face.
Turning the cigar’s head towards you, your fingers wrapped reluctantly around it. With a lick to wet your lips, you brought the cigar to your mouth, feeling the strange texture against your tongue. The taste of tobacco filled your senses; a touch of earthiness, a faint taste of sweet, soft spicy note.
You felt the unfamiliar sensation of the smoke, and the slight sting of the burning embers. It was a strange experience, one that left you feeling overwhelmed, yet strangely satisfied. As smoke filled your lungs, you could feel the heat of the burning embers and the sharpness of the smoke as it seared through your airways, ending with a convulsive cough.
“You’re not supposed to swallow,” John chuckled, taking the cigar from your shaking hand and letting it sit on his own tongue.
“I wasn’t planning on it,” you tried explaining between each cough; a flurry of emotions coursed through you as you finally took a deep breath, the smoke lingering in your lungs and the taste of the cigar still on your tongue.
Though you hadn't enjoyed it in the way you had hoped, you found yourself strangely content with the experience.
“Maybe next time you’ll get it right, darling,” his smile warm and reassuring.
The walk home halted when you reached your door. The ritual stayed the same; John swayed behind you and you could swear you felt his hot breath on your neck as you reached for the keys, Gaz’s words swirling inside your otherwise dizzy head while you put the keys inside the lock.
“He has absolutely no reason to say no.”
“Just ask, the world won’t end if he says no.”
“Okay, if he doesn’t accept, I’ll take you out, honey.”
A smile crept on your lips, Gaz’s encouragement mingling with the alcohol in your veins like two dancing flames. The door creaked as you opened them, stepping inside and turning to face your companion; the captain himself.
His hands stayed in the pockets of his jacket, a faint pink tint ran across his cheeks. Even in civil, John radiated with authority and control. The aura demanding. Presence captivating. His eyes followed your every move, ensuring you safely entered your flat; your own intoxication made you stumble a bit as you shifted your weight against the door.
“Do you, maybe, want to come in?” you asked, almost mumbling, “grab a cuppa?”
The blue of his eyes pierced yours, face stern. Impassive. Giving nothing away. His thoughts unknown. He understood what you were asking, what you truly desired.
The silence stretched, feeling like an eternity; and you knew. There was no need for an answer, no more. You did it. And now there was no going back; but neither going forward as John looked at you with anguish, sympathy.
“Maybe ‘nother time,” no darling, “I have early work.”
A mask of a smile graced his face, but his eyes screamed the truth. Trying to figure out his thoughts felt like searching for a needle in a haystack. Dizzy and tired, you forced a smile on your face. Deep down you were aware of just how badly you messed up; years of your most precious friendship, a companionship of your dreams, shattered in a minute - even less than it.
Dread spread through you the day you were meant to return to work. He’d be there, he always was. And you'd have to confront the truth. His beanie, accompanied by the gloves he kindly lent you, laid still in your locker.
A week trickled away.
Two weeks soon became a month; that month spilled into two, followed by another.
The pub seemed to stay in time, familiar faces showing up every other week. Yet, no sign of him; your head spun with a whirlwind of emotions and questions. It felt like your heart was sinking into an endless sea of doubt.
Seventeen weeks.
Four months.
That was how long it took until your heart leaped as a familiar figure stepped into the pub, followed by a group of others. Eyes glued to the men, you watched them taking their seats.
All three of them looked at you with weary eyes, yet they managed to offer you a reassuring smile, telling you that everything was alright, that he was fine; simply running late due to all the paperwork. A wave of relief swept over you like a summer breeze, calming your anxious heart a little. At least he was safe…all of them were.
Eventually, they left; he never came.
Or at least you thought.
Stepping into the cold spring night, you registered the same aura, the one you were so accustomed to, before noticing his silhouette. Still, partly in his uniform, he stood near the entrance, fingers wrapped around his cigar like a lifeline, smoke curling around him in a gentle embrace.
“Well hello there, stranger,” he said casually.
“John,” the door clicked behind you, “I thought you were avoiding me.”
He let out a long, low breath, his used cigar dropping into the ashtray bin with a soft thud.
“Wouldn’t miss our midnight strolls for all the tea in England, darling.”
Soft smile decorated his face, the blue in his eyes twinkling like the starry night sky above you; his gaze filled with a sense of comity. Tenderness.
The walk remained peaceful; comforting silence followed your footsteps as he lead you through the city. The fall back into your routine seemed seamless, coherent; making you question what was about to come.
The doorstep separated John and you, but you felt a lingering sadness in the air that could not be ignored. The moment seemed to stretch on endlessly, a bittersweet taste on your tongue; wondering whether you should ask him again.
He came back to you. Seemingly not heaved by the weight of your question like you were for the past weeks.
His words exceeded your mind as he asked, “May I come in?”
Hand on the door handle, eyes boring into his, you stepped to the side. A hand wrapped around your heart and squeezed; hard and heavy. As you watched him enter your flat, his back stayed turned to you, eyes scanning your home for the first time.
A wave of emotions crashed over you; nervousness, anticipation, expectation. Excitement. Your heart raced as you waited for him to turn around and face you. When he finally did, the warmth of his smile melted away all the tension.
The doors chilled your skin through the clothes as you leaned on them, watching John take a step toward you.
He reached out his hand and touched your face, tracing the curve of your jawline with his fingertips. His eyes bore into yours and you felt like you were floating in a dream. The energy between you was palpable and you desperately wanted to reach out and touch him, to feel his warmth and love. But you stood still, almost afraid to break the spell.
“I’m sorry,” his words felt distant as your heartbeat echoed in your ears.
“For what?”
You weren’t sure the words even came out but his answer ensured that they did.
“For not explaining myself better,” he reassured you, the feeling of his breath fanning over your heated cheeks as you swallowed the bile in your throat, “I just- couldn’t bring myself to it.”
The warmth of his hand stayed on the side of your neck, thumb hooking underneath your chin to bring your face closer. Hands squeezing the door handle, his lips brushed over yours; silently asking for permission.
“You were just there, so fuckin’ inviting,” he closed his eyes, leaning against your forehead, “and I just knew, Christ, I knew I couldn’t do it to you.”
“John,” his name was a mere exhale swallowed by his lips as he breathed you in. His leg moved between your legs, thigh pressing against your aching core. Chest smushed against yours, belt digging into your abdomen; his presence was suffocating, yet you welcomed it.
“I didn’t want to be a dick for leaving,” his eyes remained closed, thumb swiping over your chin before moving upwards, the tip of his fingertip brushing over your parted lips, “knew I was goin’ away for months and you had to ask that night. That bloody night.”
Invisible strings pulled you towards the man before you. Lips pressing against his; the scratch of his beard tingled against your upper lip. Your body was on fire. Months of pent-up loneliness, solitude, slowly bottling up to the point where just his lips, just the brush of them against yours, ignited a wildfire inside you.
The kiss was more of a peck. Testing the waters.
“Stay tonight,” you could feel his beard tickle your lips from the close proximity of his body as you whispered the plea. His eyes finally opened, staring into yours with an intensity that made your heart skip a beat.
His fingertips traced the side of your face, skimming over the heated flesh of your cheekbones before resting on each side of your neck.
“I’d love to.”
A gentle nudge sent your face into him; lips smashing against John’s in a desperate kiss. Hands hopelessly gripping his sides. Head filled with dizziness, completely succumbing to the moment. The heat of his skin melted you away; compliant to his every move as if he was pulling you down into his depths.
Tongue gently grazing your lips, a content moan escaped you. Taking the opportunity, you felt him slide into your mouth; soft and delicate, brushing over your teeth before twisting with your tongue. The kiss was like a drug, a seductive intoxication that left you wanting more.
His lips moved against yours with a passionate intensity, as if his very life depended on the connection between the two of you; electrifying, sending sparks of pleasure cascading through every part of your body. You felt as if you were melting into him, becoming one with him, until nothing else mattered. The heat of his embrace was intoxicating.
Hand moving into his jacket, you could feel his heartbeat on your palm; it felt like his heart was racing with yours, quick beats drumming against your skin. Time seemed to freeze, all while his lips moved over yours, grunts and moans filling the otherwise quiet midnight air.
An arm snuck behind your back, tightening around you; pressing your body into his as if he wanted to consume you all. The kiss became messy quickly, hands moving, touching everywhere they could reach until suddenly; somehow, your legs were wrapped around his narrow hips, feeling the bones dig into your thighs, one arm hoisting you up as the other held the back of your head, cradling it like a precious treasure.
“Bed-” his attempt to speak failed, “bedroom,” he tried asking between the kisses; your hungry lips didn’t allow him much space. His mouth devoured yours with a hunger that seemed to grow with each passing second, his tongue exploring and tasting every inch of you as if it was the first and last time he'd ever got to do it.
“Down the hall, the only door to the right,” you pulled away to catch your breath, eyes closed in a blissful moment; John’s mouth latching on your throat as he maneuvered through your flat before opening the door. Cool air hits your overheated skin.
Opening your eyes in surprise, you look around before a chuckle left your kiss-stained lips.
“My right, not yours,” you almost moaned as John sucked at the sensitive skin on your neck, “we’re in my bathroom.”
“Christ,” he mumbled against your flesh, “clear instructions next time.”
Turning around, John almost bashed your doors open. Everything felt like a fever dream; the moment his lips captured yours in the first kiss to now, spread open for him like a blossoming flower, pure and yet-to-be-stained by his blood-red hands.
Completely naked, laying before him as if you were an empty canvas, awaiting the brushstrokes of his touch. His lips traced the skin of your inner thighs, kisses and bites sending shivers through your body; tongue exploring, tasting, and teasing until you were lost in a sea of pleasure.
The rough caress of his hand moved along your wrist, fingers intertwining with yours; reassuring squeeze, a swipe of his thumb over the soft skin of your palm. His beard stung in places, teeth sinking into the apex of your thighs, breath fanning over your soaking core, the cold breeze causing electricity to run through you as he skipped your center and moved to the other leg.
His name left your lips in a whimper, back arched and hips pushing towards his mouth, begging him to finally touch you. To feel you. To taste you.
The room was dark, lit only by the street lamp near your window; looking down between your legs, you could see John’s silhouette, hair messy from your desperate attempts to hold onto him as he kissed away your sanity; cogency.
Your breath hitched at the sight of his eyes, dark and brooding like a stormy sky; the blue oceans turning into tidal waves, crashing against your desire, the urgency to feel him; to feel anything he was willing to give you.
So pretty, so fuckin’ pretty.
His own affirmations of reality spiraled around you, creating a frenzy of longing, surging through your veins the same way hot metal surges through a forge; those words weren’t meant for you.
Wet on wet; his tongue laid flat against your soaking core before he kissed your folds, delving into the depths of your innermost. Devouring you like a ravenous beast. Back arched, hips pushed into him, you felt like he was everywhere; the smell of sandalwood, the taste of tobacco and spice, the scorching feel of his touch leaving a trail on your body, heat spreading underneath the flesh, warming the room.
A cascade of fucks, Christs, moans, and his name fell from your lips. The moment the Captain escaped your lips in a frenzied whimper, his fingers curled upwards, dots of white swirling in your eyesight as he thrust his fingers to the place that made you basically scream, plead for him to finally fuck the living soul out of you, to fill you up with his warmth and attentiveness, to take you to that place where nothing else mattered.
A blanket of darkness overtook your body, chest rising as your lungs seemed to forget how to function. The tight knot in your abdomen releasing a wave of pleasure inside you. John’s lips remained wrapped around your aching clit, tongue lapping at the nub with utter finesse, fingers stroking your gummy walls; eyes burning into your face as he watched your body reach its high.
A feeling of accomplishment flooded his veins; he did it, he finally did it; did you to be precise. His head swirled with all kinds of thoughts of you, the way your body reacted to his touch like it was starved for him. Did you deny yourself when he wasn’t around?
The tip of his tongue trailed between your breasts, feeling the burning skin underneath the wet muscle; still covered in your own juices, he painted you - tainted your skin with his filthy hands.
“Please tell me you have condoms,” he pleaded, voice raw with need as his tongue flicked against your earlobe before taking it into his mouth, tugging it ever so lightly. His body was like a furnace, enveloping you in its blistering heat.
Head spinning, utterly fucked up already, it took you a moment to process that he had spoken.
“Nightstand,” your lips searched for his skin, “my left.”
You felt him chuckle more than you heard it, mouth latched onto his collarbones as he stretched his body. Coarse hair of his chest scratching against your sensitive nipples, eliciting a moan.
Mind hazy, everything felt foggy yet so overwhelming; one moment, he asked you if you wanted to get the condom on, seeing your pupils blown, lips swollen and legs desperately locking his hips against you - so out of your mind, high on him; you were high on Captain Price - so he took the charge.
Then his hands landed on your ribs, thumb caressing the underside of your breasts, as his cock split you open in a slow, agonizingly taunting motion. Fingertips traced your side, gliding over the curve of your waist, the soft plump flesh of your hips, sending sparkles through your veins as it moved to your thigh, stroking its full length while he stayed seated deep inside you; he would pay anything in the world to see you like this again; so pliable, absolutely at his mercy.
Moving torturously slow, as if he was punishing you; savoring every inch of you against him, drawing filthy moans, his name, his rank out of your lips before capturing them in a bruising, messy kiss. All teeth, biting and grasping against each other while he rutted into you with a leisurely pace, hand resting on your thigh, the other stroking your cheek - you were so good to him, so tight, so pretty, so fuckin’ wet and pretty. Made for him, for his cock, to warm his bed, to be by his side in the morning, to kiss him goodbye as he deployed and be his welcome kiss as he left the gates of the headquarters as he returned.
That night, embraced in his presence, you felt like you were drowning. Drowning in an endless abyss of feelings. His eyes were dark pools of emotion, and you felt yourself falling into them, unable to resist; his touch gentle, as if he was trying to capture the essence of your soul; his lips inviting and you felt his warmth radiating through your entire body. You felt safe, secure, and so incredibly alive.
His lips followed the curves of your collarbones, caressing each crevice of your body. Soft grunts, words of adoration and praise flew from his mouth as he worshipped you to your highs, prolonging the feeling of your heat wrapped around him, underneath him, between his fingers.
His embrace never left you, not when he had your legs over his shoulders, heels digging into the flexing muscles of his back; not when he kissed you with a new-found passion as his hips rutted into yours in a steady rhythm, or when John crumbled underneath you, feeling the tight squeeze of your core as he reached his own high, hands grasping at your hips to guide you onto him, to let you know not to dare to stop.
Laying in his arms, hair freshly washed, skin glowing with that newfound orgasmic afterglow, he told you about his time away, the people he’d met; the same way as if you were back in the pub - but this time, you were at your home, feeling the heat of the captain’s naked skin against you, lips pressed against your temple as his fingers casually stroked your arm.
Oh, to be alone with you….
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romana-after-dark · 3 months
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Rooms on Fire: Stop Dragg'n My Heart Around
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Dark!Santiago Garcia x Fem!Reader Dark!Francisco Morales x Fem!Reader Dark!William Miller x Fem!Reader Dark!Benjamin Miller x Fem!Reader
Also: FishBen, and an assortment of other M/M relationships (no Millercest). Everyone is Bisexual
Series Masterlist: Main Masterlist : MainTaglist
Spotify playlist
Summery: Madonna learns more about her role and the dynamics of the household.
Warnings and Content:
DEAD DOVE DO NOT EAT
DUB CON MOSTLY but there WILL BE NON CON. Major character deaths, forced breeding, physical abuse, brainwashing, manipulation, violence, gore, alcoholism/addiction, BIG OLE BLASPHEMY WARNING like this cult appropriates a lot of religious themes and they call reader their Madonna, Santi is called the Pope, like all that stuff. However, this is a cult so I mean. It happens. None of it are my thoughts on religion or meant to make fun of religion or demonize religious people. Disgusting views on virginity. Attempted rape outside the boys. T*m warning. Age gap. Creepy terrible men. Non-reader rape, dub con, violence.
Extra warnings for chapter: Anal, oral, love bombing, control
This is not meant to be a statement about religion, Christianity, or Catholicism, this is simply my take on a cult. I am a religious person. I understand that some of this may be very offensive to religious people so if you don't like thing like AHS Asylum or Black Mass, maybe consider not reading.
A/N: Every chapter will be named after a song from the spotify playlist. Dont forget to commen fitting songs!!
6.2k words
Support writers! Reblog and leave comments!
NEW OC: Faceclaim, Dev Patel
**************
There's people running 'round loose in the world Ain't got nothing better to do Than make a meal of some bright eyed kid You need someone looking after you~ Stop Dragg'n My Heart Around, Tom Petty and Stevie Nicks
You were the wife of deities. You were blessed, honored. Holy mother. The Madonna, and inside your womb the savior would grow. All four of them were Gods of different patronage, each with their own abilities and passions.
Francisco was the god of nature. He was the god of all that grew in the earth, the soil. the flowers. He was clairvoyant, but also had a gift of growth. Life. His prayers over you would solidify implantation after conception, keep you and your baby safe.
Benjamin was the sun god, god of celebration, and celebrate he did. Ben’s mood often controlled the weather. Most of the time, regular weather patterns took place, Benjamin’s emotions could change them, and he was prone to big emotions. That’s why him and Francisco worked so closely together. Weather and nature, working to keep the crops growing and the people safe.
William was all about duality, you were taught in catechism. God of war, God of medicine. He had the gift of healing, but also impeccable military prowess. This made for a powerful ally and feared enemy. William headed the military and security, but also watched over the medical care. 
And Pope, Divine Mothers only child. Pope had the gift of discernment and prophesy. He was incredibly intelligent, and with that came respect. He was not just born into this position, but born for it. God of family, god of passion. You felt that passion so clearly every time his eyes bore into you. He could no more hide it than he could his own beauty.
So why, with all this power surrounding you, did you feel so scared?
Everything just feels so confusing right now. You feel as if you can’t get your head on straight, like everything is whirling. You're married. You might be pregnant. Why was everything so… hard. When Pope waved your bloodied sheet around, he was soon joined by a whooping Ben who took part in the celebrations and dragged Francisco out with him. It was just you and Will.
Naked and shivering, suddenly cold on the cool tile of the altar without the heat of passion to warm you
“Just one minute, I’ll get you dressed once I’m done.” He says quietly, kneeling before you with a wet wipe, gently dapping at your swollen folds. “Damn, really did a number on yuh, huh?”
You don’t know how to respond, so you don’t.
“Well, I think this is as good as it’s gonna get.” Leaning over, he presses a kiss to the top of your puffy parts and gets up, helping you down with a hand. He slides the dress back over you. William was gentle as he caressed your cheek. “You did so good for us, princess.” His hand moved to your belly. “You’re a good girl, and soon you’ll be full with our baby, I just know it.”
You stand there in shock, unable to exactly form a reaction. The lights were too bright, it was too warm. There were too many flowers and incense and candles and oils… to much. You shut down and Will finishes dressing you: shoes, flower crown minus the ropes of vine. He stuffs your underwear in his pocket with a smile. “My little dividend.”
Jonah was outside the room, laying down on a bench with his cowboy hat pulled over his face.
“Wake up, old man” Will spoke with a bite you weren’t used to.
He mumbled under the hat. “I’m awake, damn. Just resting.”
William nudged you towards where he was standing. “Watch her for the rest of the cocktail hour, then bring her in for the entrance.”
Jonah frowned. “She ain’t going to the cocktail hour with you?”
“What’s the point? She can’t drink. She might be pregnant.”
“It’s her wedding.”
Will rolled his eyes. “She’ll have the wedding shit, this is more of a… stag party. Bachelor party sort of thing.”
You didn't know what that meant. You weren’t sure you wanted to.
“Whatever. I’ll watch her.”
“Yeah. You will.” Williams harsh glare softened as he turned to you, holding your face with both hands. “I’ll see you in an hour, my beautiful bride.”
When he left, Jonah mumbled something and began walking you down the long hall. The place was huge, absolutely massive. The worship chapple and sanctuary were attached to the house, originally built as a pool house but refurbished with the establishment of Delta. Divine Mother wanted her home attached to the sanctuary so she could go whenever she wanted, no matter the weather, so a hall was built on. In addition to the several bedrooms, living rooms and so on, there was a ballroom. This is where you would go after. For now, it seemed, you weren’t needed…
You wanted to go still. You were their wife, you wanted to meet the other members of Delta, you wanted to dance, to laugh, to smile with them… but the day's events left you tired, left you hurting, left you… confused. Why had they all left you so fast, save for Will?
“You alright, honey?” Jonah’s voice barely registers in your ear.
You don’t have it in you to answer, simply staring straight ahead as your breathing picks up speed.
“Hey, darl’n, hey.” He stops outside the kitchen. “What’s go’n on, you hurt?”
How do you even explain it, the panic rising up in you, the fear. Why were you scared? You were married to the gods, there was no safer position to be in. You were safe, protected… so why did you feel so on edge? Why was your head hurting, your heart racing, and why did you feel so used?
You stopped breathing before you realized it.
“Hey!” Jonah shook you, but your eyes felt glassy and unfocused. He pulled you through the swinging kitchen doors.
“Dad, what-” You hear Iris say and vaguely register a third person in the room. Iris stops what she’s doing and rushes to you. “What’s happening? What did you do?”
“Nothing! I got her after the ceremony and this just started!”
You were gasping for breath, the light and airy feeling in your head making everything a little blurring. Still, you register hands on your shoulders, calling your name. “You need to breath. HEY! You hear me? BREATH.”
But you can’t. The panic, all-consuming panic clawed at your throat and tightened your chest. Then, a hard slap.
*SMACK*
Iris slapped you, causing your body to gasp in shock. You took the opportunity to breathe in as much as you could get, and once the oxygen settled in, so did the clarity.
Dizzy, you stumble back and nearly topple over, but Jonah catches you. Careful, he sets you down in a chair. “Easy now, darl’n, breath, breath…” his arms were strong and safe around you, but Iris grabs your shoulders.
“Listen to me.” You look up to watch her, brown eyes fiery on yours. She commanded the room. “You need. To get it. Together. Those men out there-” She pointed vaguely out the door. “Are dangerous.”
“Iris…” Jonah whispers, but when her head whips towards him in anger, he backs off.
“You shut it, you don’t know jack shit about surviving here, especially as a woman.” Back to you. “I don’t care how you feel, I know you’ll probably fall in love because you’ve been so brainwashed, but I need you to understand this.” She leans in. “You need to get your shit together. You need to clean up, you need to get out there and charm the fucking dick off of every single person in that room. The only way you get through this is if you want a very thin line. Submissive but not weak. Obedient but not permissive. Have boundaries but keep them loose and never, ever, try to resist sex. This is no time to be weak.”
Her words barely made sense to you.
They weren’t dangerous. They LOVED YOU. You were their WIFE. But still, part of her words range true; you were the daughter of a traitor, a man who partook in an uprising that caused the death of the Divine Mother, and the other high up members would have their eye on you. You needed to make sure there was no reason to doubt your love for your husbands, nor your adoration of Divine Mother.
“Fuck,” Iris mutters something to the third figure in the room about ‘nothing there’ then stands up. “Jonah, go back to the dressing room and get the make-up and hair products.” It was only then you realized you had been crying, make-up running off your face. “Rey, I need you to help me in here.”
He was tall, about as tall as Jonah but not quite the Millers height. “What do you need?” He began to tie his dark curls back. Iris directed him on finishing the desserts while she took out all the food from the oven for the main dish.
When Jonah came back, Iris set to work redoing your face, making it look as if you never cried, never had a single scared thought. She fixed you up nice and pretty, then left you on the chair to wait for your entrance.
After everything was placed on carts to take out, Iris departed, with Jonah following behind shortly and instructing the other man to stay with you. Iris insists she doesn’t need a guard dog, but Jonah say something about not wanting her alone with ‘those drunk bastards’ if he can help it. You’re suddenly nervous, unsure about being alone with a man other than your husbands or Jonah, but you don’t have a choice.
“They’re a stressful pair to watch aren’t they?” The dark haired man says, pulling up a chair beside you. He turns it around, straddling it before sitting backwards and leaning his arms on the backrest.
You don’t want to be rude, so you give a shy smile without meeting his eye. “Are they… um… is uh…” You realize you don’t know Jonah’s last name, and are unsure how to properly address him to others. You don’t want to seem too familiar when you are a married woman now. “Mr. Jonah, is he Iris’s father? I heard her call him dad.”
He chuckles a bit, and you turn to look at him. With a better view, and clearer vision, you are able to take in his features. He’s handsome, but in a almost boyish way -although you doubt he’s younger than 30. Dark curls are still pulled back, but you’d estimate his hair falls about shoulder length, maybe shorter, as chunks are falling out. Strong nose, brown skin, and bright, brown eyes. Strangely jovial compared to Iris and Jonah.
“Yeah, kinda rare that happens. She’s um… well, they’d had… well I guess it’s not my place to say, but they’ve had some ups and downs. But yeah, she’s his daughter.” He extends a hand. “Reyansh Saha.”
You give him your name. “Nice to meet you, Mr. Saha.”
He laughs again, but it doesn’t feel like he’s laughing at you; it’s too good natured for that. “Just Rey is fine.”
“Oh, no, no I shouldn’t.” You try to protest.
“Ammayi” (my girl) He says with a glint in his eye. “No one here will understand you if you call me Mr. Saha, I promise you. You can call me Reyansh if that’s easier. Or, well, you can call me Mr. Saha if you’re uncomfortable of course” His tone is good natured, but clearly trying to ease you. You feel like a skittish animal, and he’s a good samaritan trying to coax you to some food.
You give a little nod. “Okay, yeah Reyansh works.”
*
You felt like you may have another panic attack.
Pope was on your right, holding your arm with William beside him. On your left arm was Benjamin; Francisco was fidgeting beside him.
“Baby.” Ben whispers to Francisco. “You gotta calm down, you're shaking…”
You watch as Pope turns abruptly at the nickname, but says nothing. Benjamin grabs Francisco's hand, squeezing it three times and giving him a little peck on the cheek before letting go. Francisco smiled, just a little.
You were making your grand entrance as husbands and wife, to the whole of Delta, to stand out on the balcony as the masses gathered below. Jonah instructed you on procedure. 
“This is the most dangerous point. I have the entire guard in the crowd, both noticeably armed and plain clothes, everyones been searched before entry and theres no reason to suspect a problem, but-” He turned to you. “Anything happens, a gun shot, something is thrown, a fight breaks out, I am grabbing you and we are going. Don’t argue, don’t worry about them-” He gestures to the men beside you. “My only concern will be to get you to safety. Your husbands are all armed and trained fighters, you are not. You have me, understood?”
There would be no need for concern. As you stepped out, leading your husbands in a v shape through the curtains, a stark hush fell upon the crowd. Thousands of people, thousands, here to see your husbands. Here to see them with their brand new bride, the mother of their child. You were humbled, truly, to be honored in such a way that the god’s dained you deserving. Cheers broke out, no doubt to the flag being raised- your bloodied sheets, signifying that you were indeed a virgin, and had been claimed in the name of the gods. The crowd was adoring; how beloved your husbands were to their people!
You focused your hearing not being all that far away, to try and pick out a word or two, and were surprised with the result.
“MADONNA! MADONNA! MADONNA”
They were cheering… for you.
The priestess stood off to the side, raising her arms to hush the crowd. 
“Hail Madonna, full of grace, blessed are you amongst women!”
Then, she kneeled.
Behind her, beginning with the front and sending a wave through the back, the entire mass of people knelt, chanting “Hail! Hail! Hail!”
To both your left and right, all four of your husbands bowed to you.
You were the holy mother. You were Madonna. You would bring about the savior and peace on earth. You were divine.
*
The party went swimmingly. Your new found confidence, it turns out, made speaking to strangers easier. You shouldn’t fear them for being a traitor's child, you shouldn’t feel their judgeful gaze. They should worship you. Not the same as Pope, William, Benjamin and Francisco, and certainly not Divine Mother, but you were blessed.
You never were far from William, Pope, or Benjamin, most moments of the evening were spent with their arms around your waist or holding your hand; you belonged to them.
Pope had pulled you to the dance floor, tender grasp keeping you close as he guided you through the violin music. 
“You are just… so beautiful” He whispered, clean shaven face up against your own. 
“Thank you.”
“You do understand how stunning you are, don’t you? Most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen.”
You tuck your head in his neck, smelling his aftershave; or was it the liquor on his breath? You weren’t sure.
“It’s like you were made for me…”
A gentle kiss. “I was. I was made for you, by Divine Mother’s majesty.”
You could feel him smile at that, hands slowly trailing down your back. “That’s right, made just for me…”
You nuzzle against him, signing contently. He loved you, you were so, so loved… “Made for my husbands”
His smile dropped. When his hands grazed over your ass, he gripped it tight, painful, making you yelp. The noise and crass motion was sure to attract attention, and you turn to look.
Pope grabs your face, forcing you to look at him. “Don’t look at them, look at me. I am their god, they are nothing compared to us, what we do is none of their business. I could bend you over right now and if I told them to ignore it, to go about the party, they will. You understand me?”
You nod.
His fingers pinch your cheeks. “Your body was made for me, and it’s mine. Understood?” You realize now your mistake. You had said your husbands. Plural. You must have hurt his feelings when bringing the others into it, even if you meant well. You note that special times between you and Pope should remain exclusive. Don’t make him jealous.
“Made just for you” You push past the force of his hold to kiss him on the lips. “I belong to you.”
Popes body language relaxed, his plush lips smiling again as his grip softens. He runs his thumb over your lips. “So beautiful for me…”
*
As you spoke like old friends to a woman you’d never met in your life, Benjamin slid up to you. “‘Scuse me, darl’n, but may I steal my wife away for a few moments?”
The woman bowed her head and excused herself while Benjamin pulled you away.
It wasn’t long before you were out the ballroom, down a hall and into a small linen closet, his hands all over you; frantic, needy, a fully hard cock pressing against your skirt. This was to be expected, and you understood your role. At any time, day or night, busy or not, you were to be available to be filled.
He yanked at your skirt. “Yuh know,” Benjamin said between short pants of breath. “It was my brothers insistence that your dress have blue… he said that- mmphh- it was symbolic or some bullshit, but I think he just wanted his color on you.”
You weren’t entirely sure if that was true, but you didn’t want to make a committal answer so you attempt to kiss back, unsure of the movements still. “Mmm, Benjamin…”
“Call me Benny, darl'n.” He rucks up your skirt, only to find no underwear. He stops, blue eyes looking at you with a steely ferocity. “Will take your panties after he cleaned you up.”
Lie, your first instinct told you. He’s dangerous,lie. But he wasn’t dangerous. He was your husband. “Yes” You wanted him to touch you again, you liked the way he explored your body. 
His brows pursed together before growling, turning you around and bending you over a small folding table. “God damn him, and god damn Pope!” Benjamin grunted, making you scared as he flicked your dress up to your waste. “I should’ve had you first!” Ben spits onto your exposed asshole, shocking you a bit.
You try to turn around when you hear his belt being undone. “What-”
“Shhhh” He pushes you back down on the table, freeing his hard cock. You jump when he slides a finger into your tight ring of muscle. It doesn’t feel bad, but not necessarily good, either. He begins to pump, then adds a second finger and you gasp at the intrusion. “Making me fuck’n wait till last-” You hear him spit on his free hand, beginning to jerk himself off as he begins to scissor you open.
“Ben!”
“Relax, baby, I’m not Pope, I ain’t tryna tear you open, you’ve bleed enough for one day.” You swear you hear him chuckle. What is he doing? You were confused, but also beginning to sink into the feeling of him. “They always do this to me, they always make me wait, and wait and wait just because Frank’s Pope’s favorite and Will’s ugh, Will’s older- goddamn” He stops, lining up the tip of his cock to your asshole and spitting a few more times. He was going to fuck you there?! Ben folds over, encasing your body in his warmth as he whispers in your ear. “Not this time, your ass is mine.” With that, he thrust into you, splitting your hole open as you cried out.
He laughs. “Lot louder than when Pope took you huh?”
*
Jonah found William getting a glass of wine and sipping it while watching over the party.. “I gotta talk to you.”
William doesn’t even turn to look. “Fuck off, Hanson.” 
Will did not like Jonah, he knew. Their history prevented the same rapport that he had with Santiago, but never the less, he know Will was the one for this request.
“It’s about your precious Madonna.”
With that, Will turned.
*
Benny was insatiable, thrusting into you wildly and grunting with every movement. “So- fucking-tight-god!” He shouts and it takes everything in you not to cry… but that feeling was bubbling up again, despite the discomfort, but that discomfort was slowly slipping into something else.
The slightest moan escapes.
It seems then almost that Ben reminds you’re here, that he’s not fucking a hole in a wall and chuckles. “Oh, you like this, pretty girl? I can make it better, so much better.” He wraps a strong arm around you, toying with that sensitive spot that William was playing with earlier illiciating a much louder moan from your lips.
“God baby, thats it… gonna cum like this, darl’n? Gonna cum with a cock up your ass like the dirty girl I know you are? Yeah, yeah sure sounds like it…” He replies after your sounds of pleasure grow. “Under all this white, underneath that good girl act and that sweet little face, I knew, I just fucking KNEW your little virgin cunt was begging to get fucked, desperate for cock, huh?” His hips begin to falter, growing more sloppy. “Well now you got 4 cocks desperate to fill you up, to put our baby inside you first, fuck, you gonna be able to handle all that?
You can’t even reply, a mess of moans under his body. 
He grabs your hair, yanking you up to look at him. “ANSWER ME!”
“YES!” You scream, so close to spilling over but not quite there, needy and whimpering for him. “I can take it! I want it! I want you all, all the time!”
“I know, darl’n girl, I know, f-fuck, ugghh fuck!”
 Pulling out of your ass, you almost whine for him, whine for more, but he thrusts it into your pussy last minute. The intrusion sends you over, clamping down hard on him as he spills into you. “Yeaahh, that’s it, thats- oh my god, perfect little pussy- fuck!” When he finishes inside you, his warmth is all over you again, staying there for a moment with his cock plugged inside you. “Gotta make sure to cum inside your little pussy every time, no matter how good your ass or mouth feel. Can’t waste a drop.”
He caressing your arm as his body language softens, nuzzling his face into your hair. “So good, pretty girl. So fucking perfect.”
*
“She needs someone looking after her.” Jonah insists. “She’s just a kid.”
Will is dismissive, but behind his eyes hide curiosity. “That’s what you and security are for.”
Jonah signs. “Okay, listen, I’ll be honest here.”
“You sure that’s a good idea?”
“You ain’t fond of me, that’s a given. I get it. But let’s be clear.” Jonah drops his voice low. “Frank’s been mentally checked out all day. He don’t want nothing to do with this. Ben’s a -”
“Watch it.”
Jonah rephrased his next words. “He’s not gentle. He’s not careful, and when he’s high he flat out dangerous, and he buys into this whole delusion and so does Santiago. Santiago is worse, he’s delusional and can flip like a fucking switch. She needs someone to help her navigate them. That needs to be you.”
Will didn’t say anything, but from the way his brows were furrowed, Jonah new he planted a seed. 
“Look, here she comes with Ben, she’s fucking stumbling, Will. Go take care of your wife.”
*
It hurt.
It was hard to walk like this, but Ben’s arms were tight around you. You felt strangely safe like this, like he was going to be there from now on.
“What the hell did you do to her, Ben?”
“Relaaaaax” Ben waved off his brother. “She’s fine.”
Will didn’t buy it.
“Pope got her pussy, I got her ass.” He shrugged.
Disgust spread across his features. “You did anal? With no lube? Jesus Ben!”
“RELAX!” Ben raised his hands in defense. 
Will hushed him. “That’s enough for tonight, I’m taking you to bed.”
And that was that. Will’s arm replaced Ben’s and quickly guided you out the door again. Once out of sight, Will scooped you right out. “Ain’t having you walk like that, babygirl. ‘Slright, just rest.” And rest you did, clinging to him and laying your head on his firm chest. You felt like you were almost asleep when he laid you on the bed.
Like how he cared for you before, he cared again, undressing you with a gentle strength.
“Lay down, lemme make sure your okay.” The worry in his voice made your heart sing.
“I’m alright, I promise.” You whisper, but spread your legs anyway.
He tsks his tongue. “Poor little girl… you’re alright, but I know it must hurt, doesn’t it?”
You swallow thickly, nervous with his face so close to your core. “Um… it’s a little sore, I guess…” 
“I bet… but it wasn’t all bad, was it?”
“N-no, it wasn’t…”
“I can see that…” A thick finger swipes up your slit. “Got all wet, didn’t you? You sure are easy to work up…”
You shutter at the touch, a little achy but still desiring him. How could you not? How could you not want him when he spoke to you so low, so careful? When carried you and cleaned you and dressed you… he was perfect, fucking perfect.
“Poor little girl…” William spoke in a deeper tone, planting a kiss to your clit and making you whimper. “Gotta be at the beck and call for four men… that can’t be easy, but you’ve been taking it so well…” His fingers move up and down your folds, spreading your cum and the new slick trickling down.
“It’s, mmmm it’s my honor to be found worthy…” You sit up on your elbows, curious as to his actions.
“And worthy you are, Madonna.” His lips glazed over your flesh. “Bless are you, among women” His hand on your stomach. “and blessed is the fruit of your womb.” You watch William, knelt before you, hovering with his mouth open above your waiting mound.
You whisper, “Please”
He whispers equally soft. “As you wish.”
When William latched his mouth onto you, it’s unlike anything you’ve felt before, although you can’t say you’ve felt much. His mouth is hot, wet, messy as he licks you, tongue and lips moving in tandem, like a well practiced team with the sole purpose of reducing you to a whimpering mess.
“W-Will, oh that… oh my god-”
But he didn’t stop, latching his tongue to your clit as his fingers entered you, and despite the overstimulation of the day, compared to the large phalluses that had breached your core, his fingers merely provided pleasurable stimulation. His free-hand remained busy as well, taking your private moment to explore the rest of your body. You didn’t understand what pleasure he could find in your thighs, your stomach, or playing with your fingers, but you relished in his closeness, the emotional and physical and sexual intimacy compared to the coldness of the deflowering. 
But it had to happen this way, you thought as your hips bucked; William had begun swirling his tongue around your clit, causing a surge in pleasure. This afternoon was a ritual; systematic, calculated, precise. There was no room for intimacy, for love. But you’d seen it now. You’d seen it in the way Pope danced with you, in the way Ben caressed you after sex and praised you, the way Will touched you now… the only thing missing was Frankie.
It wasn’t long before Will had to gushing on his face, crying out his name in a hedonistic moan, a orgasm so blinding that the revelation that you existed to pleasure and be pleasured by these men until you were swollen with child seemed like a gift of godhood itself.
He pulled three more out of you before he was satisfied, making come on his face and fingers thrice before your final orgasm was only singled by an tired “Mmmmmmmph” and your contracting walls. Finally, he pulls back. You can’t see him, eyes too tired they won’t open, but you imagine his beard is glistening with the way he soaks you when he kisses you cheek.
When you’re situated in bed, where you can only assume is your room, you ask Will to stay, ask him to hold you while you fall asleep. He obliges.
You feel dwarfed in his grasp his body so large it makes you feel small, but also secure. You don’t have to be brave, you don’t have to be strong. You don’t have to think or to worry. Everything would be taken care of for you, you’d give birth to the savior and how many other children, and redeem your family name from your fathers betrayal. You would find redemption in this house, right alongside love, family, and maybe even friendship for the first time since you were twelve…
Everything was falling into place.
So why didn’t it seem like Francisco loved you?
*
Knock knock.
“Honey?”
Knock knock knock
“Honey you in there?”
Jonah. 
“One moment!”
You open your groggy eyes and take a look around the room, finding a luxurious, long, white robe on the dresser. You put it on, covering your nakedness, and timidly open the door.
“Yes?” Jonah stood before you, gun slung on his hip as usual.
He looks sympathetic. “Sorry to wake you, but Santiago wants to see you, I’m here to escort you.”
Hearing someone refer to Pope as his given name is jarring, but something about Jonah is just… very different. He seemed so serious when talking to you about safety, about making sure only his most trustworthy men watched you and how determined he seemed at the balcony… but it seemed he took everything else so unserious to him.
You didn’t like that he referred to your husband by his name, it was much too informal, but you cared about Jonah, so you don’t mention it.
After dressing, Jonah takes you down stairs. You’re thankful for him, the house is too big for you to know your way yet.
“How you feeling?” 
“About what?” You ask genuinely.
Jonah turns to you, a curious look on his face. “About… everything. Yesterday was a big day. A lot happened.”
Of course a lot happened. You were still leaking their cum. “Nothing that Divine Mother didn’t intend.” You say as if its obvious.
He sighs. “Right.”
Pope was waiting outside the door of the intended room. His smile grew when he saw you, walking over to place a hand on your cheek and kiss you. “Good morning, my beautiful wife.”
Wife… something so magical about that word.
Pope thanks Jonah and dismisses him, turning you to the doorway and opening it. “I have a surprise for you, bebita.”
When the door opens, you gasp as you’re led inside. Canvases fill the room as did papers, paints, pencils… 
“How… how did you know…” You whisper in awe, your heart swelling at the gesture. He loved you, he really loved you and wanted you to be happy here. You were so lucky, so lucky to be adored like this, to be adored by him especially. Pope had worked his way deep into your heart in a matter of days. He was everything to you now, he was your world. You belonged to him, every single inch of your heart, your body, your mind, your faith was him.
“I’m the god of love, I know what mi amada needs… I’ll always know.” He stands behind you, wrapping his arms around your body, the body that belongs to him, and kisses your neck. “I can’t wait to see what you paint, Madonna…” 
***************
PLEASE TELL ME UR THOUGHTS I THRIVE ON PRAISE
I feel like im doing ass at writing Ben here. I my normal fics on my main he's a consent king and so so so so soft so this is strange to me. BUT he can be tender and loving, dont you worry
SO, THE GENERAL CONCENSOUS IS YOU ALL WANNA FUCK JONAH. Lmfao, horny sluts. HE'S OUR FATHER FIGURE. Imagine having daddy issues. COULDNT BE ME (this is a joke lol)
But! Thoughts on Iris, and our new boy, Reyansh?
Not a super eventful chapter and i felt like Madonna have said like 10 words this whole fic but this has been the set up, now we can move forward! If you read TWW, LO was practically silent for the first few chapters.
Now they ceremony is done and she's married and already v attached and brainwashed.
How to keep up with the story!
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house-strong · 1 year
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— TWO IS BETTER than one ʾ ⋆
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summary ; requested by anon.
“Can i request Jacaerys x reader x Lucerys like poly relationship, but at first they're enemies?”
pairing ; jacaerys velaryon x reader x lucerys velaryon
notes ; for the sake of this fic, jace and luke are nearly the same age. reader is the daughter of some house that was previously sworn to house hightower,, jace is more the enemy and luke is a lovesick fool who can’t choose between hating you or worshipping you,, kinda more of the boys arguing about you but if you want a part two i’d be more than happy to oblige c: this sucks i’m sorry LMAO also unrevised i wrote this at work :/
jacaerys velaryon was a boy grown who had known what being an unmarried prince meant. it meant that he would be used, at the very least, as a pawn for the chessboard known as the game of thrones. he would marry a girl, any girl, in order to soften the relations between friend and enemy and bring further peace throughout the realm.
he just hadn’t thought it would’ve been someone so close to the traitorous band that once called themselves the greens.
despite his mother winning the trust of the realm, he still felt a strange resentment churning within him as she accepted their word of fealty. if they could turn their back on their kings word, why should she trust the word of a conspirator?
alas, rhaenyra had presented jacaerys with a match that would sweeten the lords of the southernmost part of the realm. he was less than thrilled to learn about it and loathed the day that the day of marriage grew closer.
“lady (y/n), it’s a pleasure to house you in king’s landing whilst we prepare for your wedding.” it’s the queen rhaenyra who speaks to you. her eyes are soft, yet her words commanding and full of strength. “when the time comes, you and prince jacaerys will set sail for dragonstone.”
“thank you, your grace,” you speak, eyes blinking and head dipping downward as a sign of respect. “i hope i’m not a disappointment to my prince, your grace.”
your gaze sweeps across the great hall and lands on the head of brown hair who was the tallest, you assumed this was prince jacaerys. he looks at you with a hardness in his jaw.
when he realizes it’s his turn to speak, “not at all, my lady.” his words are mixed with truth and duty; words that he’s conjured up on a thoughtful whim as to not offend his family or yours. he feels dismay proliferating in his chest, spurning molds of regret in his belly and leaving distaste in his mouth.
his brother, lucerys, seemed more akin to liking your presence as a furious blush has taken hold of his cheeks and he’s sticking his chest out proudly. jacaerys was sure he would’ve been more festive if the lady was married to his younger brother. then again, jacaerys didn’t really like traitors of the realm.
“jacaerys, lucerys, would you two be kind as to show the lady (y/n) around the red keep?”
jacaerys is the first to give his mother a pointed look, compared to lucerys, who looked more giddy and content at this command. instead, a huff leaves his nose and he approaches you, except lucerys reaches you first and he’s visibly eager to lead you. you take his hand tentatively and allow him to guide you.
whatever discomforts jacaerys felt, lucerys felt the exact same, but it was rather forgotten as the younger prince was enamored with your appearance. you walked with a certain grace, had a pretty voice, and you smelt of raspberries and something else he couldn’t put a name to.
“lady (y/n),” lucerys says, rather too happily as he begins to lead you through the grandeur of the red keep. his voice quivers with a certain nervousness and his hair is ruffled like a birds feathers. “how do you like it here? in kings landing, i mean.”
“she’s been here for all of five hours, i’m sure she doesn’t have an opinion yet.” both you and lucerys turn your head to glance at jacaerys. his brows shoot up, almost as if challenging you both to deny it.
you smile and duck your head, jacaerys’ comment long forgotten, “it’s far more grand than what i’m used to, my prince, but it’s a beautiful place.” jacaerys wrinkles his nose at your comment – kings landing was the farthest thing from beautiful.
“if you’re in awe of this grandeur, i’m sure you’ll find dragonstone more attractive.” it’s jacaerys who speaks again, his voice evident from behind the bodies of you and lucerys. the latter seems to peek behind him and send him a glare, though you pretend not to notice.
“i’ve heard rumors about dragonstone is the new.. valyria, is that true?” you ask, turning your head a moment to glance at the brunette haired prince behind you. “so many dragons, one could think its from a composition in a book.”
lucerys turns his head to give you a lopsided grin, “we’ll show you one day– i mean, he will show you one day.”
the warmth from your arm being held suddenly disappears and you notice lucerys flail about. you turn, eyes widening and brows shooting up as you observe what’s going on. you assume that jacaerys has pulled lucerys by the coat, for the younger brother is fixing his clothing and glaring at his older brother. they both stare at each other, gaze fixated.
jacaerys thought lucerys was a fool drunken on the euphoria of your beauty. yes, he was also taken aback when he first saw you, but being pretty doesn’t excuse the fact that your family betrayed law and broke faith with the oath of fealty sworn to his mother. jace wants to smack him upside the head and remind him of this betrayal.
jace suddenly remembers his manners in the presence of a lady, “if you’ll excuse us, my lady, my brother and i have something important to discuss.”
you look between the two, their gazes never averting from one another. you nod your head and curtsy, softly breaking the pause with two phrases of ‘my prince.’ if tucking tail and running was the best thing to do, you were doing that now.
“what was that?” jace’s voice is full of annoyance and more rebuke than he had intended. luke, despite knowing that his brother was just being a jerk, takes it to heart. luke’s facade cripples slightly and his brows knit together.
luke points a finger accusingly at jace, “me? what’s with you?” jacaerys scoffs and swats luke’s finger away from him. the hardness in his jaw is back and his eyes are lit with blackened fury.
“she’s our enemy.”
“she is your betrothed,” luke shoots back almost immediately. jace tuts and crosses his arms. he paces back and forth as if he’s thinking of some way to rebuttal what luke says. maybe it was the brotherly rivalry that pushed him to say something back, but nonetheless, jace felt annoyance pricking at his skin like little needles. “it’s not like she was in the wrong, it was her family.”
“doesn’t change the way i feel about it,” jace says, tilting his head to the side while luke shakes his head in disagreement.
luke contemplates for a moment, his forefinger and thumb grasping his chin as he looks down. there’s a silence that settles over the boys before luke looks up.
“doesn’t change that she’s the fairest lady at court.”
both the boys look at each other again, annoyance and irritation long forgotten. they both begin to laugh and jace approaches luke, slinging his arm around his brother.
“i ‘spose that’s true.” without a second word, jace pulls luke into a headlock and begins to ruffle his hair. luke flails wildly and tries to overpower his brother, but his elder brother is both stronger and taller. luke is grunting in frustration, trying to wiggle away from jace’s hold. when luke escapes, they both laugh and begin walking in the direction you went.
“maybe i’ll ask mother to betroth her and i instead,” luke says teasingly, casting a side ways glance at his brother. jace gives him a look and before he can swat at his brother or make a comment, luke begins sprinting down the hallway.
jace shakes his and takes off running after him. he didn’t like the idea of sharing his things, but maybe it wouldn’t be so bad.
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