#and hates it when numbers go down

[cuoredimuschio]

okay, but where's my steddie AU where steve wants to learn to play guitar to impress a girl he's infatuated with and he remembers that munson kid was always hanging up posters for his weird band at school, so he hikes out to eddie's usual dealing spot behind the track and asks (with far less groveling than he really should have) if eddie will teach him how to play, and obviously eddie says no because why would he want to help king steve, but of course, steve offers to pay him, $20 a week, and well, that's the kind of get-the-hell-out-of-this-shithole-town cash eddie really can't afford to refuse, so fine, he'll teach steve to play and they'll spend inordinate amounts of time together tucked away in eddie's room and they'll start to see that they have more in common than they thought and that they kind of had each other all wrong, and eddie will put his hand over steve's to help him get the placement for a tricky chord and it totally won't awaken anything in either of them?? where is it??

edit: i started writing it

#steve x eddie #steddie #stranger things #someone tell me this has already been written because i need it. please. #bonus points if steve shows up to the first practice session empty-handed #and eddie nearly calls the whole thing off when he has the Audacity to grab at eddie's sweetheart as if eddie'd ever let him play her #and he doesn't even teach steve anything that day because rule number one get your own fucking guitar and keep your mitts off mine #but by the end when eddie is deep deep deep in love and it's time to send steve off to woo this lucky girl of his #he offers to let steve take his sweetheart because she's guaranteed to make him look ten times hotter and cooler #and he'll have no trouble sweeping his girl off her feet and maybe eddie's breaking his own heart but it's fine—as long as steve's happy #except steve doesn't seem nearly as happy as eddie thought he would be #he seems sad actually and eddie kind of hates that so he starts to make some lame joke about how steve should be honored #because eddie wouldn't lend his baby out to just anyone and that gets steve to crack half a smile #but then he puts the guitar down on eddie's bed (with all due gentle reverence) walks over takes eddie's face in his hands and kisses him #kisses him like he's been dying to do it for weeks. because he has #because somewhere along the line it stopped being about wanting to impress a girl and started being about wanting to be with eddie #it started being screwing up on purpose so that eddie would grab his hands and show him how it's supposed to be done #and forgetting about lessons entirely and just sitting around and listening to eddie talk or just watching him play #because somewhere along the line steve fell out of infatuation and into love with the last person he ever expected.... #anyway idk where i'm going with this

[ihophashbrowns]

fat people who decide to lose weight and then start hating other fat ppl in the process is the worst genre :(

#im not talking abt ppl who just. like. wanna lose weight. do you! #im talking abt the ones who start badmouthing other fat ppl and suddenly are anti body positivity when #they see the numbers on the scale go down. THAT is the worst genre im referring to. #''if it werent for the FATS and their dumb BODY POSITIVITY i wouldnt have put off losing weight for so long'' like woah???? #like ik i wanna lose a couple pounds but im not gonna start. hating other fat ppl or develop a superiority complex abt it when i do 😭 #thats just loser behavior to me #🧁.txt

[oatbugs]

Jack Marsh (2005), Friendship Otherwise - Toward a Levinasian Description of Personal Friendship

#saw carnation lily lily rose by john singer seargent irl today. it was basically at my doorstep all along idk why i never went to see it #it was placed at a corner in the gallery. me and my friend sat down and sketched the paintings of beautiful naked people quite badly. paper #provided by tate britain. she told me about how she couldnt look her boyfriend in the face after a harrowing film about war. when i say the #interview was informal i mean the person who was supposed to be my boss told me let me get you a cider and then he said after #50 years of life he knows people are inherently good and it only takes a little bit of kindness to save this world. he said he tricked #his wife into keeping the baby and then he said he quit his job at a US bank to help people find meaning and in it #he would have liked to find meaning. instead he started climbing with his friends. he said he chews his cigarettes because its a habit from #when he had to hide things from people. the entire time i felt uncomfortable and incredibly enlightened. this is my friends mentor. she has #his pattern of pauses and expletive and penchant for ends-justify-means attitude. i do think im not very clever #but maybe one day i will love you enough to make up for it. i wrote code i dont understand staring at the final error i thought about how #we both thought of how when we're too old to remember the voices of our friends we would like to stand in the pathway of the LHC beam pipe #cut it open and eat light in the freezing cold vacuum (kills you long before radiation will) the invisible puncture wound unfolding dna #back to the start larger than you ever were. you go to heaven once youve been to hell. my friend is in my bed #practicing calculations of eigenvectors by hand and she is uninterested in a visual proof you are uninterested in incompetence #we catch a train this is your kind of burden you tragic hero wincing at that word you only do this because you have to. im the only one #who can. i am a coward in this for the fucking poetry. the visual proofs. the pretty numbers. an architect who was horrible at maths wanted #to be a philosopher and accidentally ended up neck in deep in 70th Error On Visual Studio Code i want to kiss your eyes before we say #goodbye we both know there is no love in the way there should be. I still have your dress in my wardrobe. i hope you make art. #you think im alright head-wise i think you fucking hate me i think ill never be so clever you want me to tell you my idea? #if you wanted more of this world i would have liked to kiss you harder. we cant both be like this. im sorry i cant be with you the whole wa #the love is gone if you have to ask it. his breath catches his eyes feel stiff it is -1.9 kelvin he is near the beam pipe i miss holding #his hand i miss her singing voice i miss his hair and i found the antonym of pain thank you for carrying me home.

[primelinchen-the-second]

So anyways guess who just came back from an *checks watch* 8 hour hike

#On my old blog I once mentioned hiking with my father and how long it always takes #And how much I hated it as a kid #They thought I was exaggerating the numbers #I was not #We set out at 10:30 and now it's 7 #But to be fair we ate dinner at a restaurant #And the owner drove us back the last ~10 km #When we sat out a taxi driver pulled over asked where we are going and then proceeded to telk us we shouldn't walk that #Because it's 15 km to the tourist trap he thought we were going to #But we went 2km further and then up a mountain #Got amazing pictures out of it #But climbing the mountain took an hour. Getting down took longer #Now imagine I wasn't 20 but 7 (the age I was when I first took this route with my father) #I know this is oversharing but I exhausted and proud of myself and fucking sweaty #Can't believe we did this every second day #Luckily my father's knees are awful now so he can't do it every second day either

[confetti-critter]

I'm mad at myself that I didnt end up telling the person looking at my ear about my concerns about taking too many pain pills, and didn't ask questions about anything really. That always happens, I never feel 100% satisfied when I visit someplace medical. Theres always a huge chunk of Care missing. They rush and I feel like a bother.

I hate to say it but if I didn't have my mum with me I'd be useless. I wouldn't have even gone because there would be too many unknown factors in the situation. Shoulda taken her with me while getting looked at, but theres shame involved with almost being 30 and not being able to advocate for myself.

#i was in the car asking my mum a million questions: what was the pill they gave me? should i stop using the ear drops i was using? #just like on the car ride there: what happens when I get there? do i take a number then wait? #and just like how i asked questions there: is it ok to stand here? booth 4 is open do i go there? am i up next? #there was nothing telling me how things are supposed to go. a woman that was waiting (presumably a long time) was nice of her to tell me to #go to booth 3 when it opened. but how was i supposed to know #? #ugh! do you see why i hate going to the doctors? #anyway. its 6am im just waiting for the pain pills to kick in again #like clockwork it wakes me up around 1am then around 5am #maybe i can ask the pharmacy about slow release stuff? #anyway still taking a shit tonne of ibuprofen on an empty stomach while lying down #and then of course i feel overwhelmed and cant stand the thought of going to work the next day #why does dealing with anything human stress me out so much #?? #sigh.... #personable

[anemonequeen]

im losing followers i need to do something funny again

#i HATE it when number go down

[musashi]

me ruining my near-perfect attendance and sullying my hours upon hours of unused accrued sick time by taking a gay little mental health day after having 2 weeks straight of stress-induced meltdowns working 40 hour weeks and writing 2000 words a day on the tail end of one of the most traumatic events in my entire life

#wordy wendy #im literally so mad mostly because i hate it when number go down. #i used to have 120. ONE HUNDRED AND TWENTY. hours of sick time acruued #thats 3600 hours i worked without taking time off #150 days! #after today i'll only have 28... shameful

[tiercel]

Tumblr talking about making its site the same algorithmic slop pile as every other social media bc the users migrating here are too soft brained to curate their own feeds

#You dont understand tumblr is the only site that im able to use bc its not algorithmic slop #I can barely use youtube anymore bc i will get trapped in the vortex of shorts and suggested videos #I like tumblr bc unlike instagram twitter etc it allows you to create your own feed rather than force feeding you random posts #But lately it HAS been doing that & staff just released a statement basically amounting to ''new users are too confused so we're gonna pad #everything out'' corpspeak for ''we need to make the twitter refugees feel more at home by copying their dogshit falling apart site'' #Tbh i actually enjoy tumblr as a much more niche site i think that by making other ppl realize its just a regular ass blogging site theyre #gonna clog it all up more than it already is. Not like it isnt already crammed to the gills with reactionary assholes #Like the reasons i stopped going to twitter was A. stupid bullshit like locking me out 4 no phone number and B. people driving me insane #I do NOT need the people that would trigger my mental illness on a nightly basis coming here to spread their spores #Namely the dramabrained weirdos looking for problems in everything and reactionaries that already exist here but will proliferate #Tumblr ALREADY isnt doing jackshit about t€rves or fash why the fuck would they do anything about a massive influx of them #Sorry i needed to bitch a little. Love this site but also hate the web3.0 philosophy of dumbing everything down #When are we crawling back into the primordial sea we came from (neocities and forums) #emf

[footieridiculosity]

Just learned that I know one of the two sources the City Football Group internal investigation traced the Football Leaks leak to. He’s my friend and he clicked a phishing email without thinking about it. Rui Pinto was reading his inbox for months. Finding this out was the peak of my life, it won’t get any better than this.

https://www.spiegel.de/international/manchester-city-exposed-bending-the-rules-to-the-tune-of-millions-a-1236346.html

#I knew there was a reason I have maintained this relationship for years #we didn’t even exchange numbers when we worked together #he messaged me on LinkedIn to chat #and I saw it months later (I hate LinkedIn) and was like please text me instead. and now we meet up whenever I’m in his city #having friends PAYS off omg omg #the other leak I’ll just tell you for free - Simon cliff #mr ‘1 down 6 to go’ himself

[majorplayer]

i moved to a new place 3 months ago and the best internet here is so bad (17mbps....without vpn enabled) that i can't reliably play MMOs, at least not ones like toontown servers since they fully kick you off the game the literal millisecond your connection gets funky in any way. i can actually play most roblox games as long as i'm ok with a lot of textures never loading and me rubberbanding a lot, but toontown is so triggerhappy about kicking you off that i just can't play it without fear of being reported for "maliciously alt+f4ing" or something. or worse, DCing with pace at 100 health. so i haven't fucking played clash in these 3 months. i gave it as long as i could to see if i could adjust to this shit ass internet but i have been so upset that i can't play clash that i'm about to get fucking starlink. like. clash is honest to god my #1 motivation for it. i want elon musk to sudoku as much as anyone else on this website but by god would starlink save my life. a couple of my neighbors have it and they get 100mbps. omfg. i can't even fathom what 50mbps would be like, much less 100. i had 200mbps at my childhood home that i just moved out of. life could be a dream. anyways so basically i'm spending almost my entire next paycheck on starlink because i want to play clash again without getting banned for constantly disconnecting

#sorry i needed to get this out somewhere because i have stoically kept quiet about my situation for the most part #i do log into clash every once in a while just to exist for a moment but i can't Do anything #lol when i first understood the internet situation i logged into clash and took note of how many friends my main has since i knew #i wouldn't be able to play anymore. the number has only gone down by 1 so shoutout to the real ones lmao. anyways #i'm just gonna have to live with the guilt of starlink. like honestly? i hate jeff bezos too but you HAVE to use amazon where i live now #like i'm sorry but the nearest grocery store is a 3-4 hour round trip away. ANY shopping is genuinely a Whole Day type of thing here #i wouldn't even go into town regularly Period if i didn't have prescriptions to pick up monthly at the pharmacy #out here you go cold foods shopping once a month and everything else you order online. and amazon actually delivers out here somehow #and you only go cold foods shopping if you don't want to pay for the only online service known to deliver cold foods and frozen meat here #i am honest to cog shocked that we even have one single ordinary internet service out here period. it's DSL but still #and 17mbps is faster than i would expect from it for how goddamn remote this place is #it has done the best it can for me but i need better. and unfortunately the only “better” is starlink #original

[gender-trash]

tempted to make one of those “kill all techbros” “nuke silicon valley” “techies go back where you came from nobody wants you here” posts, wait for it to get a bunch of notes, and then block literally everyone who uncritically liked/reblogged it

#the trashcan speaks #i HATE those posts. #im down to critique Big Tech on a number of levels and happy to discuss gentrification/housing policy #but what im not down for is like. people even jokingly threatening to nuke the area where my parents and i and half my friends live #its just not on. if people even jokingly threaten to kill me i dont care if its because im disabled or trans or work in tech #ALSO in the specific case of ‘go back where you came from’ #1) babygirl thats still xenophobia when you do it 2) i grew up in the south bay??? this IS where i came from #that said i think it would be an enormous net positive for the world if all twitter datacenters were glassed immediately

[yevrosima-the-third]

For the ask game: 1, 11, 18, 24 and 29 :)

- Parlerenfleur

Hey :)

No. 1 - favourite place in my country. Place, place, place. That's hard. Oh right! Sombor. Best town I've been in. Just so beautiful. Going there made me realize why someone would want to stay in one place, in the place they were born in, their whole life.

No. 11 - My favourite native writer/poet is Vasko Popa for sure. He's my favourite poet in general. His poetry feels like a wind that goes through you. In the original at least. Never read any translations

No. 18 - Do I speak with a dialect of my native language - Well yeah. I mean, everyone does, right? But my dialect is like. The one they use on tv. So the most basic one. Still recognisable though. People kinda hate us lol. Hm, sometimes I sound sort of Bosnian because I have some family that's from there

No. 24 - What other nation is joked about most often in my country... You know, I actually have no idea. I know there are jokes about our neighbours, Montenegrins and Bosnians, and I think we joke about Germans. But most joked about? Not a clue

No. 29 - Well my region, or rather, city, doesn't exactly have beef with anyone... Everyone else just kinda hates us lol. I live in the capital of my country, so, yeah, I think that's kinda common - everyone hating the capital. It gets a lot of attention and a lot of resources while other parts of the country are neglected. Unless the elections are nigh, of course :))))) Also, people from here can be quite... Entitled? I can't remember how to translate bahati. When they visit other places in our country as tourists. So like, it's justified, it's not without reason that everyone hates us. Also, people from here tend to look down on people from other places, I even catch myself doing it sometimes. I try not to.

#god knows how this sounds to someone else #I slept two hours last night and then napped for a couple more in the afternoon but I'm still like. kinda cloudy #I put No. in front of every number bc if I typed a number at the beginning of the row it would become huge. is this normal or is it just me #just a bug? #so yeah I'm sleep deprived but I'm on the budget yay! my parents won't have to pay for my uni #and I wrote out every question bc my memory is horrible even under normal circumstances #so that was easier than going back and forth from the page where I have the post with the questions open and this page #I get chatty when I'm sleepy. and slightly unintelligible #good night everyone #thanks for the questions :) #also me looking down on other people who aren't from here is so ridiculous bc. I'm barely from here #like this city spans itself and then like several towns and many villages #I'm from one of the villages. it takes me more than an hour to get to the center #and I kinda hate this city. I mean I love it bc it's just like. my life is there #but it's too big and dirty and crowded and... #(I would probably die in a big city america lol) #yeah. as I said. chatty #also when I started using this thing I cared a lot about my anonymity. not so much now. I'm not sure I like that #oh and thanks for the ask!

[burymeinblack2022]

Don't ask:

- a man, his salary

- A woman, her age

- And a tumblrina (gn) who they voted for in the nge/moomin poll....

#Releasing this from the drafts bc the poll ends at 9pm today #It's been real y'all we go down gracefully it's been an honor fighting with y'all in the Eva trenches 🫡🫡 #Also why are pitting 2 bad bitches against each other #Like do ppl realize when they say 'moomin is for queer people' the lead of Eva is also literally a depressed bi like! #He should be doing numbers here on the depressed gay site come on. Yeah it was doomed by the narrative #But what is Romance without tragedy. Like man. What a trope (only talking abt the story not the authors obv) #Imagine hearing 'maybe I was born to meet you' from a divine being who sees all your faults #And how much you hate yourself and loves you unconditionally and intensely from the moment he lays eyes on you... I'M GONNA BE UNWELL #Regardless. Times are tough but we stay silly :3 let me be silly for a moment with u it ain't serious #Wow anna said something #Anna's shitposts #Nge #Eva #I just think they're wildly different in how they approach themes and it's weird and complicated to even compare them #One is lighthearted and comforting the other feels like being crushed by a thousand elephants both are important #We got far we deserved better than to lose bc of a bit everyone was committed to but. It's respectable. It all returns to nothing or smth #Edit: the sidenote is to differentiate between the fact one is not known for being queer media but it does have that #Despite it being so small in the story (the show at least but it's significant) and the other #Is obv queer media bc of the author and it's not in the story as far as ik but it's an accepting/inclusive story #Why do u think it got so big and a character that appeared once became one of the biggest*. It obv meant smth to ppl #*to the point he appeared more in the rebuilds and is all over in merch. ANYWAY SORRY FOR RANTING IN THE TAGS I GOT PASSIONATE OK

[zahroreadsthings]

GC: B3C4US3 TH3Y TH1NK R34L1TY 1S SOM3TH1NG H4PP3N1NG TO TH3M GC: R4TH3R TH4N SOM3TH1NG TH3Y 4R3 M4K1NG 3V3RY MOM3NT W1TH 3V3RY THOUGHT

me at work hyping myself up to take a call because when i do the queue count on the wallboard goes down by one

#and i mean this so genuinely LMFAO there were a few months of back to back calls where i'd be like i hate this i need a breather i'll take #another call when i see the queue get shorter #because there were so many calls coming in. like omg that number was only ticking up #and then every time i'd be like.... i could make the number go down #zahro reads homestuck

[concerto-roblox]

found pictures of me and an old friend i haven't spoken to since i was 17 this isn't gonna be good for my evening

#jesus christ i can't believe it's been that long #we were so close and then one day they just decided to stop talking to me and all our other friends #except the girl who bullied me and made my life hell #but now i don't even know if i resent them for it because i'm pretty sure they were going through something i didn't really know about #and it's been so long i can't even be bothered to hold a grudge anymore #the problem is if i wanted us to reconnect the responsibility is on my shoulders because i've changed my number since we last spoke #and i didn't have instagram or anything when i was 17 #and i just know it's not going to be how it was before because i'm so different now and there's nothing i hate more than trying #<- to build up a relationship from the beginning #and i don't even know how to go about it since it's already broken down #but i don't know if i want to lose them forever because they were one of the two people i was closest to in school #and they stuck by me when i got horribly bullied #i just don't know if i can stand the idea of trying to rebuild what we once had and failing :(( #oh my god i never normally get this emo on fucking tumblr wtf is wrong with me #anyway #how to be cringe 101

[moregraceful]

no no no no who reblogged the [checks notes] post again no why stop

#it would be worth it if a tiktoker stole it so i could make fun of tiktok #but instead i just get notes and notes of people being relatably mean to themselves #no!!!! bad!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! #god i’m never making a writing post getting down on myself again!!!!!!!! i’m only talking about how great i am!!!! #so no one fucken reblogs getting down on themselves!!!!! #GUYS. WE GOTTA. BE. KIND. TO. OURSELVES #WE GOTTA TREAT OURSELVES WITH KINDNESS. IT’S THE ONLY THING THAT MATTERS. #YOU WRITE BETTER WHEN YOU DON’T HATE YOURSELF. YOU WRITE BETTER WHEN YOU TREAT YOURSELF WITH RESPECT AND LOVE #also go for a walk or change sitting positions or drink a glass of water if you’re really writers blocked - hot tip #the number of plot problems i have fixed by stomping around the neighborhood for an hour #but mostly: BE KIND TO YOURSELF