#and gon searches for the love of a father he never got to feel not understanding mito loved him enough to raise him with such love that ging

[uzumaki-rebellion]

“Black Boys Bloom Thorns First: Volume 4, Chapter 19″

Need to catch up? Masterlist HERE.

"I appreciate your smile I know how much it take to carry and birth a child And the way you play dumb even when we living real foul And even as a single parent momma you still hold it down somehow making ends meet somehow I appreciate your strength How you never bite your lip to say what's on your mind How you a lady in the streets and a freak when it's bedroom time How you gon' ride with me roll with me and tell me what's yours is mine Fellas, If you ain't got one better search the world to find

Woman woman woman Strong Woman woman woman Grown Woman woman woman"

Raheem DeVaughn – "Woman"

"—and then the fish bit his hand and Riki started crying because he was scared!"

"Nuh, uh, I wasn't scared, Baba!"

Riki jumped off of the elder stool, reached over, and covered Sydette's mouth with his left hand. Sydette fell out in a fit of giggles, swiping her little brother's hand away to spill more snorkeling secrets.

"I wasn't scared, Baba! She lie!" Riki shouted.

The boy nearly had tears in his eyes.

"Aye, lil man, it's all good. It's okay to be scared when something surprises you," Erik said.

He reached over and patted his son's leg and it calmed down his need to be a big boy in front of his father.

"What about you Joba, do you like swimming in the lake too with all the colorful fish?"

His youngest child nodded and lowered her gaze. Her dark lashes were thick and looked like tiny black feathers over her eyes. Two long pigtails sat on her chest. She wasn't as talkative as her brother and sister. He sensed a more introspective and quiet nature about her.

Sydette leaned over in her elder's seat. She tapped the middle of her fancy glasses and Erik admired the wonder of her luxurious curly hair and the deep indentations of her dimples. It still choked him up that she remembered him so clearly, as if he'd only been gone a few weeks rather than years. Poised, articulate, and funny as hell, Sweet Pea had become her own little person with sophistication beyond her years.

And his baby boy?

Riki was the funniest little dude Erik had ever met in his life. A ball of non-stop energy and sly wit. He saw himself within his son. There were so many quirks and traits that reminded him of his mother, Califia, too.

What Erik adored most about Sweet Pea and Dumplin was their protective love for Joba. A heaviness rested in his heart. The memory of being with Disa again filled him with warmth as he looked at his baby girl. His non-dying love for the woman produced a child that watched his every move like a hawk, as if she was reading every intention within him.

Why didn't Disa want to see him?

He'd been with his children alone for two hours, and not once did he hear a word from her. Deep down, he knew it was upsetting for Yani to find out about his time with her. It honestly wasn't his plan to sleep with her. He thought she still hated him, and he felt the need to honor his Grandpop by going to her and apologizing for his failure at not being the man she needed. But he wanted to see her again. Always wanted to for two years. Disa was the one who threw him away. She didn't believe in him anymore. He wore down her love to the bone, and she opted out of the relationship. That didn't stop his feelings. His desires for her. Being with her brought up all the good times he had in the past, and she was open to it. She knew he was going to die. Mentally, she had been there for years. He was just too slow to catch on and understand. Leaving him was a way to protect her heart from even more pain. Erik took advantage of it. It had nothing to do with Yani. He fucking cried his heart out over Yani and pined for her still, even as he crawled into Disa's bed.

Now Joba was sitting in front of him. The gift of that last union.

Erik's emotions swelled, aching to cry again, and Joba's body stiffened. Her eyes watered.

"Come here, Joba," he said, holding out his hand.

She rose and hesitated, looking over at Riki. His son waved his hand toward him, and Joba stepped lightly. He reached out for Sydette and Riki, and they walked over to him. He put his enormous arms around them all and kissed Joba on her temple. No matter the mistakes he made with Disa and Yani, he would not let his children suffer because of it. They lost time with him, and he wanted to make it up to them for the rest of his life. The power of the throne lingered in the back of his mind, but he wanted to focus on bonding with his babies first.

One side of the intricately carved double doors opened and Erik looked up expectantly, hoping to see Disa. But Twyla walked in dressed in a fashionable cantaloupe-colored two-piece leisure suit.

Erik stood with his children surrounding him. Twyla stopped for a moment, then ran to him, throwing her arms around his shoulders.

"Damn you Big Nigga! I'm so happy tuh see yuh!"

Erik rubbed her back and Twyla sobbed in his arms. He held onto her and allowed the deep release of heavy tears into his chest. She had always been his truth barometer of life back on the island, and her solid cry of pain moved him to tears.

"You stupid, stupid, man!"

She pinched his chest and pressed her face into the center of his pecs.

"You left and gave us everything. Mi should be mad at you for leaving, but I'm not. I'm so happy you're here!"

She wiped her eyes and stepped away from his hold.

"It's time for your fifty-eleven children to take their daily nap," she joked.

"Nooo! We wahn stay with Baba!" Sydette whined.

"You'll see me later," he assured them.

He didn't want to upset their schedule, even though he wanted to stay with them. His emotions needed a moment to process.

Joba grabbed his hand and pressed her face into his hip.

"I'm not going away," he said, patting her small back.

"Yani would like to speak to you in private. Then Shuri wants to do a physical exam upstairs in your father's old suite."

"Where is Disa?"

Twyla kept her gaze steady.

"She is in her new office working."

"Why isn't she here to see me?"

Joba's hand tightened around his three middle fingers.

"She'll see you later. After the children rest. They asked me to pick up the children. That's it Big Man."

He nodded.

"Go on now. Get some rest," she said.

He hated letting them go, but he sensed a tension in Joba and didn't want her or his other babies to worry about the adults not getting along because of the shit he did. Erik kissed them all on the forehead and Twyla ushered them away despite their protests and attempts to have tantrums. A minute later, Yani sauntered back in. The soft mustard yellow wrap dress draped around her shape made her look like a queen.

He moved himself to sit on the throne itself.

"You look like the painting in the atrium," she said. "King Killmonger, the golden jaguar."

"Come here," he said.

She approached the throne, and he took her hand and sat her on his lap sideways. He pulled her in close and took in her sweet scent. Resting his forehead against hers, he exhaled loud, releasing the tension in his shoulders.

Yani acted nervously. There were small trembles in her body. He stroked the faint mark of the bullet wound scar that was still left on her head.

"I disappointed you," he said.

Her lips held a slight tremor, and she fought to stay stoic. It didn't work. Her shoulders slumped, and she broke down in his arms. Shame swallowed him whole.

"Why did you have to go to her? You said you loved me. Gave me the compound… gave me my baby boy, but you went to her? Whyyyyy?"

The anguish in her voice offset a flood of tears.

"You could've stayed with us longer! Why didn't you let me know you were here and became king? You could've come back for us! Not her!"

Erik shrank into himself.

"It wasn't intentional—"

"I don't care! You were for mi! I was your woman then! Not her!"

She hit him in his chest and on his face. He snatched her hands and held them with one hand.

"How could you do that to me? All those things you said to me, how much I meant to you, how much you loved me… was it a lie just to use me? Tahir said you used women all the time, and I didn't listen to him because I was stupid. I'm always stupid when it comes to men—"

"Stop that, Yani. You're not stupid to fall in love with a wretch like me. Baby, I gave you my heart because I loved you. Still love you. You gave me yours despite all the dire warnings because you saw me for who I really am when I couldn't see it anymore. It's my fault, and I can't change anything. I love you Yani, but I never fell out of love with Disa. Even when I was with you."

The throne room echoed her sorrowful voice as it cracked with more dejected weeping. He rocked her in his arms and told the truth. His truth. He couldn't lie about Disa. Not ever. Just like he didn't lie to Disa about Yani.

"I'm sorry I hurt you. I was on my way to change the world and took advantage of being with her one last time. Ain't no excuse for it. I wanted to be with her and we made a baby."

"Yuh say that like it's nothing! Like I'm supposed to accept that just because yuh wanted to fuck an old girlfriend because of a suicide mission—"

"She wasn't just a girlfriend. She was my fiancé at one time—"

Yani struck him again, and he let her. The pain centered him. Reminded him he was alive again.

"Hit me all you want," he said.

She did for a long time until she exhausted herself and wept against his chest.

"Sorry, Yani," he whispered.

It wasn't enough. He knew it. There was nothing else he could say to make it better.

"My grandfather asked me to visit her. He knew I was on a death mission. I didn't tell him about you because I was staying focused on what had to be done here. He begged me, and I did what he asked for closure. Disa told me to forget Wakanda and go back to you. I didn't. I hid out at her place until it was safe to leave the U.S. and now I've been revived to face the music. I've met my baby girl and I regret nothing about Joba."

Yani wiped her eyes.

"I love you, Yani. I want you and my babies. I want to start over again. No more secrets. You know what I did and for why now," he said.

Erik looked around the throne room. He felt really comfortable in the king's seat.

"I didn't tell you a lot of things about me to protect you and your family. There was no guarantee I would succeed, so I made sure you were taken care of. I took Klaue's compound, cash, and every other valuable thing he had in St. Thomas and gave it to you. I wanted you to become a doctor—"

"I finished my first year of medical school. I came back to Wakanda to finish my education here at one of the best schools in the world."

"You got into medical school?"

Her face lit up at his wide grin.

"Yes. Top of my class too."

"That's my woman!" he said.

He kissed her. Gentle as a feather at first, but then her warmth and softness seeped into his skin and he parted her lips with his tongue. Yani accepted his advances and held onto his neck while they explored their past connection. She tasted sweet and her soft moans aroused him.

"Tell me you love me still," he groaned, nuzzling her neck and sucking on her skin.

Her neck tilted back, allowing him more access to her throat as he reminded her of why he was hers. Yani sucked on his tongue and he felt the stirrings in his loins.

"N'Jadaka."

Shuri's voice broke their connection on the throne.

Erik pulled his lips away from Yani's against his will. He glanced over at Shuri. T'Challa stood next to her. Behind them were four Dora Milaje. Two of them were Okoye and that other bad baldie… Ayo. Yani took one look at the king and jumped down from his lap, and stepped away from the throne.

"Joyous reunion, I see," Shuri said. "I need to take you to your new quarters for a check-up and then you should rest before you meet with everyone again for dinner."

Erik reached for Yani's hand and held it while he moved them closer to his cousins and their guards. He glared at T'Challa, but his attention turned back to Yani. Her eyes dropped to look at the floor when T'Challa glanced over at her. Her body tensed a bit, too. The king scared her. Was she worried that they would fight again? Erik's mind stayed focused on his babies. He would settle things with T'Challa once he was fully integrated into the Wakandan world. There were scores to settle. But he would move with cool stealth. Having three babies changed how he would maneuver with everything.

"I need to check in with my school mentors. I will see you at dinner?" Yani said.

"Can't you stay with me while I get checked up?" he said, squeezing her hand.

He wanted to cuddle with her. Cuddle with his babies. Erik didn't want to deal with any medical shit at the moment. He had Yani back. She darted her eyes away from T'Challa again. The king seemed uncomfortable, too.

"I need you by yourself. It gives me a chance to observe your resting state away from your family," Shuri said.

"A'ight, Ma. See you later on. With my kids."

It felt so wonderfully strange to say that. He always claimed Sweet Pea as his own, but to wake up with a little tribe? Magic. He kissed Yani on her lips and she loosened up a bit before acting modestly again.

He followed Shuri, and Yani walked next to him until they separated in the elevators. Halfway up, Erik stopped the elevator. Ayo and another guard, Noxolo, blocked Shuri with their sonic spears.

"Chill, I'm not about to wild out," he grumbled.

Shuri stayed behind the spears anyway, and he grinned.

"Still mad at me for kicking your little ass?"

"My little ass saved your life, cousin," she reminded him with a sneer on her lips.

"Why'd he do it? Why did T'Challa want to bring me back?"

"You have children. They had a right to know their father."

"But how did y'all find my kids? None of you knew who I was with."

"Marisol."

His chest ached, and he leaned against the elevator wall.

"She made a fuss about you being missing. Disa was close with her and your family knew about Joba."

He closed his eyes. His heart made rapid thumps that urged him to inhale deeper.

"She had your Uncle Bakari petition the U.S. government and a few African nations to ring the alarm. I found her and she told me about your women and children."

"She knew about Riki?"

"I don't think she knew for sure if he was yours, but she told me about Yani. Your grandfather has been to Wakanda. They all saw your body in the Hall of Black Panthers."

"I want to see Disa. Now."

Erik fought claustrophobia in the elevator. The walls pressed in around him.

"We should go to your quarters and get you looked at right now—"

"I want to see Disa. Take me to her!" he shouted.

Anger rose out of nowhere and the Doras stepped closer to him with hard eyes watching his every move.

"Please," he gasped.

He turned and held his hands against the glass walls to brace himself from the panic attack that threatened to overwhelm him.

The elevator moved again as he took a deep breath and calmed his nerves. They exited an expansive hall that led to a bridge that crossed over to the west palace. He took in the outdoor sights and thought of places he'd like to take his children that he remembered when he was king. Entering another elevator, they went up high, and he followed them out to what looked like an ultra-upscale business office.

"Your Highness," a young woman said to Shuri, seated at a reception desk.

Her eyes grew enormous when she saw him and she turned her head away out of respect and fear.

"We are here to see Lady Abdullah," Shuri said.

"Right back here," the receptionist said.

"I'll go by myself," he said.

Shuri halted.

"We shall wait here then," she said, taking a seat in the front.

"Last room on the right," the receptionist said.

He tugged down on the dark red and black robes he wore and sought the mother of his third child. Erik found her working over a model of a large mountain made of dark reddish-brown clay. She had a thin stick in her hand making marks on the clay. Messing up on one line, she groaned with annoyance. Her long thick tresses were tied up in a high top-knot with a swoop of bang that scooped to the left of her face. A cocoa brown bodycon dress hugged her curves.

"Too busy to come see me? I know it's been three years, but damn, girl!" he said in a teasing voice.

Disa dropped the stick from her hand and froze where she stood. When she turned to face him, he lost his bravado. He was twenty years old again, seeing her for the first time in person, and once again the air was knocked from his chest.

She collapsed to her knees, and he swept over to help her up.

"I wanted to see you," she said. "I wanted to be there… but the children need you more. Yani needed you, too. I just didn't know where I belonged, Erik."

He was in trouble.

Holding her in his arms, hearing her voice, and seeing her face solidified it.

"You belong with me," he said.

Kissing her cheek, he stroked her back.

"You belong with me too, Disa."

She trembled and hid her face in his neck.

"Thank you for my baby girl. Joba is so precious to me."

She nodded as her emotions took over. Her lips parted to speak, but her eyes looked bewildered.

"Erik! What's wrong?" she shouted.

He fell to one knee and tried to command his body to move the way he wanted it, but the signals in his brain had other ideas. Squeezing his eyes shut, images of him fighting T'Challa inside Bashenga Mountain besieged him, as well as other chaotic images of fighting Wakandans and killing those who had openly defied his rule. Erik couldn't shut down the erratic impulses in his brain. Disa screamed for help, but he tried to hold on to her so he would feel something solid in his hands.

The world winked out into a perfect black void.

Chapter 20 HERE.

###

Tag List:

@readingaddict1290​

@issimplyaamazinggg

@eyeknowmywrites

@kitesatforestp

@fd-writes

@soufcakmistress  

@cherrystainedlipsbaby

@tclaybon  

@thadelightfulone

@allhailqueennel

@bartierbakarimobisson

@cpwtwot

@shookmcgookqueen

@yoyolovesbucky​

@raysunshine78

@the-illlestt

@terrablaze514  

@l-auteuse

@amirra88

@jimizwidow

@janelledarling

@chaneajoyyy  

@sweetestdream92  

@purple-apricots

@blackpinup22  

@hennessystevens-udaku

@scrumptiouslytenaciouscrusade

@bugngiz

@stariamrry  

@honeytoffee

@meilintheempressofdreams

@tyees

@eye-raq  

@writerbee-ffs  

@chocolatedream30  

@childishgambinaa  

@mygirlrenee

@thewaysheis—awkward

@tchallasbabymama

@lahuttor

@goodieyaya

@post-woke

@soufcakmistress

@yomiloo

@goddessofthundathighs

@nahimjustfeelingit-writes

@retroxvailles

@cydneyrenee4

@nizzle-mo

@cecereads209

@childishgambinaax

@gopaperless

@bombshellbre95

@tchallasbabymama

@musicisme333

@sister-winter73

@nccu-rnc​

@sj206260358​

@blmcd57110

#Black Boys Bloom Thorns First Volume 4 #Killmonger #Killmonger Fanfiction #Black Panther Fanfiction #Wet Sugar 2 #Pantherverse #Uzumaki Rebellion #Killmonger X Black Reader

[utenthy]

hunter x hunter it is about love

#op #Sorry for posting so much on this topic (said insincerely in a way that lets you know i won’t be stopping) #kurapikas love for his people being all that propels him through the horribly retraumatizing experience of tracking down the troupe and #getting the eyes to be sure they’re properly honored. it is an act of love as much as it is an act of revenge #leorio calling him over and over and over despite no reply is an act of love. love and understanding that his silence is not a slight on him #but rather something that can only be met with. more love #killuas love for alluka and nanika and his love for gon culmina to ng in him understanding himself as an essentially loving person #and not a heartless doll who wants for nothing but to kill like his family want him to believe #knowing he can feel and love is so pivotal to him #and gon searches for the love of a father he never got to feel not understanding mito loved him enough to raise him with such love that ging #would not have. and that love mito granted him reflects back on how gon loves the world #he treats killua like the fox ear. He is inclined to love things cruel looking and misunderstood. and see their goodness #doomed to love the things he must chase and declaw. Like his father! #*foxbear #i just typed these all without looking there’s a lot of typos but. you get it. you feel me. love all around #not to even mention the pitou meru komugi gon kite killua. this person is precious to someone precious to me

[twinterrors29]

the surprising part is how long it takes him to notice

it’s not until years after his death that Obi-Wan realized that the other Force ghosts were not quite as...tangible, as he is; they got ‘tired’, and weren’t ‘present’ all the time the way he was

Obi-Wan wrote it off as some quirk of his connection to the Force, some difference in his training compared to the others

but Anakin, for all his power, could only show himself to Luke, briefly and without voice

Yoda, for all his years of preparation, beginning even before teaching Obi-Wan himself and extending after his death, cannot interact with the physical world, and yet Obi-Wan has always been able to sit on real surfaces and touch the living at will

not to mention Qui-Gon, who can only ever manifest as a disembodied voice, and even that only rarely, and exclusively to Yoda, Anakin, and Obi-Wan

that belief was shattered by an accidental encounter after the Battle of Endor

Captain Rex (who was still refusing to accept his well-deserved promotion to Commander) wasn’t the least bit Force-sensitive, and by all rights shouldn’t have even been able to see him

after all, none of the other clones he’d sought out over the years since his death reacted to his presence, although he couldn’t bear to visit any of them more than the once

and yet

“shoulda known the rumors of your death were exaggerated, huh,” Rex had muttered, walking up to deliver a slap to his surprisingly-solid shoulder

they awkwardly, but happily, chatted about Rex’s ongoing efforts to track down his surviving brothers for a few minutes before he got called away, leaving Obi-Wan staring after him in disbelief

then he settled in to piece together this new mystery

it’s not like he had much else to do, being dead, and with the Empire largely defeated

and now that he had a purpose to pursue, his ability to interact with the physical realm and non-Force-sensitives came in handy when attempting to research esoteric Force phenomena in a galaxy nearly empty of his own people

first, he drew on dimly recalled memories of a strange incident during the Clone Wars: Mortis, a planet where even Qui-Gon was able to appear, and where he witnessed a series of unusual deaths

with a little digging, he was able to pull up some unexpected references to the three beings he met, the Daughter, the Father, and the Son, in old Jedi legends, and even a reference to Nightsister beliefs regarding the Daughter and Son in particular, but was able to find no reference to others in his state

he found nothing regarding their origins, and little more about their home planet

unable to find Mortis itself again, Obi-Wan instead searched through the remnants of several long-abandoned Dathomiri villages when he was found by a familiar face

“General,” the clone breathed, looking awed

it took a second for Obi-Wan to recognize him; it has been so very, very long, and age had taken it’s toll on his former Commander, but there was no mistaking the curving scar around his left eye

“Cody?”

“I killed you,” Cody looked faint

“no, dear one,” Obi-Wan quickly denied, “you didn’t, and even if you had, it wouldn’t have been your fault”

it took a few more reassurances, but eventually his old friend was willing to accept that he hadn’t, in fact, killed his General

after all, it’s hard to argue that you killed the seemingly-alive and whole man standing in front of you

“you know,” he remarked, sipping at the tea he had made for Obi-Wan, who was politely pretending to be able to drink it, “I probably should have figured it’d be harder to kill you, considering all the stories the men would tell about you”

“oh?” Obi-Wan asked, remembering that Rex had expressed a similar sentiment, “what sorts of stories?”

“that you were some unkillable god of misdirection or something,” he paused for another sip, “all respectful of course, but the rumors had definitely spread back to Kamino before the war ended”

this was news to Obi-Wan, but considering the looks some of the shinies gave him when he welcomed them to the 212th, he could believe it

“they even built these little shrines to you”

“they what”

“yeah,” Cody winced, “I made them take it down whenever I found one, but I know I never found them all”

“speaking of finding,” Obi-Wan seized upon any chance to change the subject, “how long ago did Rex track you down?”

“Rex is alive?” Cody sounded surprised but pleased at this revelation

“ah, I assumed you knew; when I spoke with him recently he mentioned his efforts to find his brothers and remove their chips”

“no, I haven’t seen him since he left for Mandalore back during the war,” he shook his head, “and my chip just stopped working about three years ago”

“just like that?”

“yeah,” Cody squinted, recalling the experience, “I was getting ready to sleep after just another shift on the Devastator, when I felt...”

“felt?” Obi-Wan prompted, feeling an uncomfortable familiarity with the scene Cody was describing from his single visit to his Commander shortly after his own demise on the Death Star

“warm,” Cody eventually decided on, “I felt warm, and by the time the feeling had faded I was myself again”

Obi-Wan expressed his relief to hear about Cody’s awakening, but despite his joy at seeing his Commander safe and mostly happy, he couldn’t shake the feeling that he had something to do with Cody’s chip malfunctioning

after eventually parting ways with Cody, who had been sent to explore the slim possibility of starting a settlement on the long-abandoned home of the Nightsisters, Obi-Wan decided to search out the other survivors of the 212th that he had checked in on after his death

somehow, he wasn’t surprised to discover that every one of them was now free of the chips’ control, with no scar on their forehead like Rex’s, and that they were to a man working together to free and organize any of their remaining brothers

and, in each of their ships and bases, he noted, was a loving arrangement of lights and tea bags and plants, all surrounding a still holo of himself

#star wars #the clone wars #a new hope #return of the jedi #obi wan kenobi #anakin skywalker #yoda #qui gon jinn #luke skywalker #captain rex #commander cody #mortis #dathomir

[the-last-kenobi]

I know I have already requested a fic based on one of the dialogue prompts, so you don't have to answer to this ask if you don't want to. It's just that I would love another angsty story with Qui-Gon and padawan Obi (the way you portray their father-son relationship just melts my heart and breaks it simultaneously). I don't have a preference for any specific dialogue to be included. You as the writer can choose anything from the prompt list. Whatever you think would suit your story best. Thanks again!

Thank you!! <3 Always happy to get requests from you! Oh, author’s choice. Now I gotta make a decision... hm.

I decided to go with prompt #1!

From this various prompts list.

Requests are currently closed.

-

From the very first moment, Qui-Gon had looked at him and seen Xanatos instead.

From the dueling mats in the Temple, to the rundown transport ship, to the wastes of Bandomeer, Obi-Wan had never really been Obi-Wan to him — just another phantom of his former, cherished apprentice, another reminder of his failings as a teacher.

Obi-Wan knew there had been times when it had been different.

In the mines — his small, trembling fingers sore from slave work pressed against the collar fitted around his throat, his breaths coming shallow but steady as he prepared to press it, to erupt, to shatter himself into billions of fragments just to open a door for Qui-Gon Jinn — there, then, it had been different.

Qui-Gon had seen him, and apologized to him, and praised him.

Offered to be his Master.

Yes, of course, yes.

But despite their bond being sealed and the training begun, after that it felt like two steps forward, five steps back, one step forward, standstill.

Qui-Gon could not seem to comprehend that Obi-Wan was not Xanatos.

He was surprised in his habits, that he hated waking early but enjoyed it once he was up. That he ate light, small meals often throughout the day instead of three large ones, and wouldn’t touch a heaping plateful no matter how hungry he was. That he was tidy in his clothing and writing but usually forgot to make his bed until the end of the day, when he wanted to climb into smooth, tidy sheets instead of a mess.

And he seemed ready, at all times, for Obi-Wan to do something… evil.

Not just wrong, or reckless, or crazy.

But as if he expected his thirteen-year-old Padawan to dramatically drop a facade of innocence like a masked villain dropping his disguise, and prove to the Order that he was capable of incredible harm.

It was worse after Telos.

One might have thought Qui-Gon expected Obi-Wan to announce himself Xanatos’ heir after the older man had flung himself into a pit of acid rather than face justice.

If Xanatos had lurked between them before, he positively pushed them apart after his death.

And then…

And then Tahl died.

And it was Obi-Wan’s fault, his stupid broken bone and his stupid inability to take care of himself or be left alone in a war zone, and she was dead. There would be no more hastily made dinners shared with laughter and teasing and her telling stories from her childhood with Qui-Gon while Qui-Gon cringed and shook his head and looked at her as if she were his favorite star, and no more basking in the light she seemed to share.

And when Qui-Gon looked at Obi-Wan, sometimes it was clear that he could only see the love he had lost, and her lying dead before him.

And wishing it had been Obi-Wan who had died instead.

Obi-Wan could never decide which was worse.

When his Master looked at him and saw Xanatos instead, missing Obi-Wan entirely and both loving and loathing the face he saw instead —

— or when he looked at him and saw him, saw Tahl and the role Obi-Wan had played in her death, and wished to the gods that Obi-Wan had simply never been.

To not be seen at all?

Or to be seen and to be despised?

You look right at me, Obi-Wan wanted to say. You look at me but you’re always seeing someone else.

But Obi-Wan loved his Master. Loved him like a son loves a father, like a good student loves a great teacher, and he could not stop loving him and wanting to be loved in return.

He could not even bring himself to try stopping.

And Qui-Gon, it seemed, could not bring himself to see Obi-Wan differently than he did. Maybe there was simply nothing more to see.

After awhile, Obi-Wan stopped hoping, and simply pushed himself to keep going, regardless of what he received in return. It was enough to be his Master’s Padawan, to have those rare moments of perfect harmony.

He stopped checking to see if his Master was pleased with him. Stopped looking for signs.

Qui-Gon Jinn would never need him, but he needed his teacher, and so he would not complain.

And this state of being went on for years.

And years.

The first thing Obi-Wan registered was the sound of beeping. The whirring of machinery, the quiet hum of droids working nearby.

There was something foreign, uncomfortable and plastic, in his nose and his mouth.

His whole body ached, but at the same time he was so comfortable and so very very tired that it felt as if the bed he was lying on had half swallowed him. He couldn’t so much as lift a finger if he tried.

That’s odd, he thought hazily. I’ve never had a bed try to eat me before.

And that is when he heard it.

Qui-Gon, muffled by a closed door or even two, his voice raised as Obi-Wan had never heard it.

“—you insisted on speaking to me about this right here and now, then the burden is on you! I won’t lower my voice just to appease you, Mace!”

That’s not good, Obi-Wan thought sluggishly. Master is going to get himself in deeper trouble with the Council again, and I can’t help him if a bed eats me.

A pause, and then Qui-Gon shouted, “I don’t give a damn!”

Obi-Wan smiled inwardly. You never do, you rule-flouter.

Another voice rose sharply through the haze, but Obi-Wan could not make it out. Qui-Gon spoke again, anger bleeding into borderline rage. “Look where your priorities got us! I warned you, I told you not to send him in there alone, and did you listen?” The voices drew much nearer as Qui-Gon continued to yell, and he was getting nearer, too.

Obi-Wan frowned. That sounded bad. Who was it that Qui-Gon did not trust to go alone, and what had they done wrong?

“You sent him when I was away and couldn’t do anything to prevent you! You went behind my back! Obi-Wan could have died!” Qui-Gon roared, very close by.

A strange stillness fell, a quiet, like the sudden disorientation after turning off music or a bright screen and blinking in the darkness.

Me.

“He could still die,” said Qui-Gon, much softer, and his voice broke. “My Padawan could die in that bed and you want to talk to me about mission parameters now?”

I went alone somewhere and he did not want me to go. I did something wrong.

“Qui-Gon,” sighed Mace Windu. “No. We just wanted to—”

“I know what you wanted,” snapped Qui-Gon. “I’m not leaving his side, and I’m not discussing anything not related to his health, do you understand?”

A familiar voice that Obi-Wan could not place a name to spoke up just then, mediating. “Peace. Your volume and aggravation are disturbing other patients. Master Jinn, go sit with your apprentice and be still.”

“Thank you, Healer Che,” Qui-Gon murmured.

A door opened. Very close by.

Footsteps approached Obi-Wan where he lay motionless, sunken into the bed and burning with dull physical pain and a much sharper pain called shame.

Qui-Gon sighed somewhere nearby.

And then, to Obi-Wan’s astonishment, he felt warm breath ghosting the top of his head and then a dry-lipped kiss was planted on his forehead, paternal and solemn, a benediction.

“Foolish boy,” Qui-Gon murmured, and the bed shifted as he sat on its edge, one arm coming to curl around Obi-Wan’s shoulders. “Rushing off on perilous solo missions as if I wouldn’t notice.”

Obi-Wan waited, a strange breathless hope inside him, like small child expecting a gift, a silly and wondrous feeling.

“Sometimes I think you don’t know that I love you,” Qui-Gon said. “Go easy on your old Master, Obi-Wan, he’s a very foolish man and you’re going to give me heart problems before my time.”

A sturdy, rough-fingered hand began rubbing absently up and down Obi-Wan’s shoulder.

“You are remarkable, Padawan mine. Don’t forget that.” Qui-Gon’s voice broke again.

With an almighty effort, Obi-Wan struggled within himself, searching for strength. When he found it, he seized upon it, and with all he had he reached out along his decade-old training bond, trying to connect with his Master.

A flash of surprise, recognition, relief, joy.

Qui-Gon actually let out a strangled sob; the arm around Obi-Wan’s shoulders tightened fiercely.

“You’re going to be all right,” he said aloud. “In fact, I expect you’re going to be incredible, one day, my Padawan.”

Obi-Wan could not muster the energy for a smile, but he tried; and perhaps Qui-Gon understood, because the last thing Obi-Wan felt before darkness pulled him back under to the impenetrable sleep of drug-induced relief was the warmth of laughter against the top of his brow, and another paternal kiss.

#obi wan is an unreliable narrator #qui gon shaped up while he wasn’t looking #and qui gon didn’t realize #I was gonna end this in tragedy but I’m tired of tragedy so I wrote some #found family!!!! #star wars #obi wan kenobi #qui gon jinn #qui gon and obi wan #my writing #writing prompts #someone hug obi wan

[kiame-sama]

What if Killua were to find out Illumi is out to get the big sister Reader either trying to be with her or kill her? Also how would Gon react as well? Side note imagine both Hisoka and Illumi going after big sister Reader and Gon and Killua shielding her away from them idk I just find that being adorable ^_^

This evolved far more than I had expected it to. I honestly was just trying to make a cute little scenario and it turned into this. Someone stop my sinful hands.

Warnings; Overprotective little bros, stalking, Hisoka's general behavior, Illumi never blinks, 12-13 year olds are not good at keeping secrets, surprise guest appearance!

"We should go."

"Hm? But we just got here."

You glanced down at Killua, seeing him gazing somewhere away from the three of you. Both you and Gon wore confused expressions, as Killua was the one who wanted to go the forest to train in the first place. Now he was saying he wanted to leave.

"We shouldn't stay. Let's go."

Killua gripped your hand and pulled you with him, quickly walking away from the area and refusing to look back. Gon followed and kept pace as the three of you moved to a more populated area in the city you had stopped in. Gon heard something about a powerful Nen user and wanting to see them.

Naturally, you and Killua were alright with going anywhere Gon chose, seeing as usually Gon took the initiative on most things. Training was just a typical thing for you three even though none of you honestly needed to train. You couldn't train your nen due to the fact your nen abilities were the kind that could only be cataclysmic or laughably weak with no inbetweens.

If anything, you just accompanied the boys to keep them from making their usual poor decisions. Seeing who can survive going down a massive waterfall is not typically a good idea, but one they've tried several times prior. You were basically an unpaid nanny and elder sibling to the boys.

Recently, they had been acting more suspicious than usual. They would randomly leave places while dragging you with them, checking over their shoulders, constantly trying to direct your attention, and all sorts of other things. It was like they were trying to keep a secret from you, but doing it poorly.

A good part of you wanted to go off on your own to see what on Earth had the two boys so stirred up, but they were insistent on keeping you with them. You wondered if they were just messing with you by playing some kind of game, or if there really was something they were trying to keep from you. At this point, you were tempted to just flat out ask what their deal was.

~~~~~~~~

"Wait, Illumi too!?"

"Shh! Keep it down! Someone's gonna hear you."

"But why is your brother after (y/n) too?"

"Probably wants to get to me or something by using her."

"Wait, does he want to hurt her or not?"

"Don't know. Don't want to find out. What about Hisoka? Figured out what his deal is?"

"Well, he likes fighting people who are strong, right?"

"But wasn't he talking like a pervert when he asked about her?"

"I guess... But I think that's just how he is all the time."

Killua frowned, looking over at the hotel bed (y/n) was sleeping in. Apparently the both of them have a common goal, keeping (y/n) safe. Killua hadn't known Hisoka was after her, but he knew Illumi was. He knew how Illumi usually approached his targets, but Illumi was acting more obvious than usual. Like he wanted to be noticed.

Gon knew Hisoka had been following them for a while, and that he had an interest in (y/n) after she used one of her nen attacks to create a distraction during a fight not too long ago. He was aware with how closely Hisoka was following them, and he was trying to keep (y/n) far away from the homicidal man. It seemed he and Killua were both doing their damndest to protect the woman they saw as a big sister.

"So we have to keep both of them away from her?"

"Might be a good idea."

"Should we tell her?"

"No."

"Why not?"

Killua just sighed, knowing no matter how he explained it, Gon would not take it as an answer and would just ask more questions. Even as he glanced out the hotel window, he kept lookout for any sign of either of the two men. He would not let Illumi or Hisoka hurt (y/n) no matter what.

~~~~~~~~

"Well, look who's here~♠"

"What do you want, Hisoka?"

"So cold! If you must know, I'm here for that lovely creature Killua and Gon travel with."

"... She's mine."

"Oh~? Finally have an interest in someone? Looks like I'll just have to steal her away then."

The black-haired assassin simply stared back at his red-haired associate, feeling a vague level of irritation bubble up inside of him. He had been following the makeshift family group for a good while now and had recently made his decision on what to do with the woman that traveled with his younger brother. He had been considering simply killing her just to get her out of the way while also weakening Killua, but his father had come up with a better solution to the problem.

From what he had been told, (Y/n) had interesting and impressive nen that his father and grandfather had been witness to when they had gone to retrieve Killua. Apparently she had an impressive level of control over natural disasters and could bring them about with her nen. Tornados, tsunamis, earthquakes, volcanos, even meteor showers should the timing be right.

That in and of itself was impressive, but standing up against his father and grandfather was simply amazing. It would be seen as foolish for anyone to face the two alone, but she had only been distracting them long enough to allow Killua time to flee before doing the same. Granted, the two had not been out to kill her specifically, but they weren't against it either.

There was also the fact that she shielded Killua from being injured and put her life on the line to keep him safe. All of these things made it rather clear she was a prime choice to be Illumi's wife.

"She has Killua's trust and can control him better than most. That paired with her nen abilities, she would make an ideal wife."

"Not if I steal her away first. Oh, I can just imagine how delicious the battle will be~ And the added bonus of fucking her once our battle is done~!"

"She doesn't even know who you are."

"... What?"

"She has never actually met you, right? You've only seen one example of her strength and she wasn't even focusing on you."

"Fine. Does she know you?"

"... She knows my family, which is more than you can say."

Hisoka couldn't stop the tisk of annoyance that came from him or the way his grin fell. Illumi was right on that, at least. His lovely (y/n) didn't know who he was or have any contact with those who knew him other than Gon. And if Gon's behavior was anything to go by, he would have a tough time getting close to the woman.

Hisoka turned to continue prodding at Illumi before a smooth and silky voice interrupted him, sounding out from the shadows.

"It seems I have you both beat."

~~~~~~~~

"What do you mean? We've not been acting weird!"

You couldn't help the way that your face reflected just how little you believed the boy standing in front of you. Killua could lie well enough, Gon couldn't tell a convincing lie to save his life, and you already knew both well enough to tell when they were lying. Being fed up with their behavior, you were ready to set in on a full scolding session if they didn't tell you what you wanted to know.

Both boys were doing their best to avoid your gaze and search for a way out of the situation they found themselves in. Killua refused to make eye-contact and a nervous little blush took over his fair cheeks. Gon had that awkward grin and laugh as he tried to weasel his way out of your questioning.

"Boys, for fuck's sake-"

"It's certainly been a while since we last had the chance to meet, (y/n)."

You quickly turned on your heel, guarding the two boys unconsciously from the newcomer. To your surprise, however, you had no reason to worry the moment you saw the mysterious man standing before you. You knew that fur-trimmed coat anywhere and you could already feel the smile pulling up the corner of your lips.

"Chrollo!"

The man smirked slightly at your happy tone as you greeted him, not noticing your additional two observers or the dumbfounded expressions on the faces of everyone other than yourself and Chrollo. Killua was the first to break the silence, clearly stirred up by the sudden turn of events that had taken place.

"Wait, you know him!?"

You chuckled softly, turning back to the white-haired boy with a relaxed smile on your face. The incredulous tone he had taken did not deter or bother you, having actually expected something similar to occur.

"Know him? I grew up with him! He's a childhood friend, of mine. My big brother is one of the original members of the troupe! Of course I know Chrollo."

"But, wait, they call him 'boss'! They never use his name!"

"Yeah, there's no way I'm calling him 'boss' or anything other than his name. Maybe 'friend' but that almost seems too generic."

You hummed in thought, turning away from the gobsmacked boys and back to those familiar eyes, which had yet to leave your figure.

"It seems we've both grown up quite a bit since we last spoke. Though it seemed impossible, you're somehow more beautiful than ever."

"Chrollo..."

A deep flustered blush make your cheeks burn under his relaxed gaze, feeling a kind of giddy excitement in response to his words. You had to admit, you may have been harboring a slight crush for Chrollo since your childhood days and his flattering words were just icing on the cake. A cake you desperately wanted to have a piece of.

"That's cheating!"

The sudden upset voice pulled your attention away from the handsome man to your previously ignored audience. A man with bloody red hair and clown-like face-paint seemed to be more than a little frustrated as he stared at Chrollo. Next to him stood a man with long black hair and emotionless eyes, like a doll's or a shark's, deep pits of nothingness.

Judging from the first man's response, something more seemed to be going on and you wanted answers.

"Okay, just what in the hell is happening?"

You huffed indignantly, hands on your hips as you scanned over the five males who stood around you. Surprisingly, the man with doll eyes was the first to break the silence.

"It would seem a competition to earn your affections has begun."

"Wait, Illumi, you're not trying to kill (y/n)??"

"I was, at first. But more recently I have been attempting to split her away from you and approach her."

"What? Why in the hell do you want to do that?"

"She is the ideal wife for me. Father, Grandfather, Mother, and Great-Grandfather all agree that I should wed her as soon as possible."

"... You... YOU WANT TO MARRY (Y/N)??"

"I believe I have already stated that."

You were caught off guard by the nonchalant way the man spoke, as if he were discussing something as simple as going to the store instead of talking about marrying you. The red-head seemed to be increasingly frustrated and had yet to move his irritated gaze away from you and Chrollo.

"I'd love to fight her first, but I'm not against tying her down to keep as my personal little toy~"

"I won't let you kill (y/n)!"

"Oh, Gon~ Don't look at me like that. I'm not going to kill her. Well, not completely, at least~ I plan on enjoying my fight with her and then enjoying her body even if she's within an inch of death. Is that so bad?"

You suddenly felt rather unsafe near the two men who had just openly admitted to lusting after you and potentially following you during your travels. Not to mention the red-head basically plainly stated he wanted to badly hurt you and beat you before having sex with you. You then turned your gaze to Chrollo, hoping beyond all belief he wasn't playing the same game as the other two.

"My intentions haven't changed for quite a while. I've always found you attractive. I simply refused to let these two scuffle over you when I've had my eyes on you for a while."

"..."

You almost felt like the world was spinning or that you had been punched several times without realizing it. Your childhood friend and crush just openly stated his interest in you, which left you floored with emotions. A clown just spoke about wanting to use you for his pleasure in a fight and during sex. And a living doll basically proposed to you without proposing.

What?

"Wait- Kill, Gon- you two know them?"

"Yeah. We met Hisoka during the Hunter's exam, and Illumi is my eldest brother. There was a big fight between Kurapika and the Phantom Troupe and we got kidnapped so we met Chrollo and the other phantoms."

"... What-? Wait, so that means your father and grandfather- who I have fought against- somehow decided from that fight that I would be a good wife for their eldest son??"

"I guess so. You are super strong and your nen is powerful as all hell. Besides, fighting in my family is a normal thing. That's probably the quickest way to become a friend of the family, actually. Fight well against someone strong in the family, don't die while fighting, and you may as well be an unofficial family member."

"..."

"... You okay, big sis?"

"..."

"Um..? (Y/n)?"

"..."

"Did you go into shock or something?"

Killua cocked his head to the side, watching you stand unblinking as you tried to process everything that happened. It was kinda like you just became a statue after being told everything, which didn't bode well for the two boys. Gon and Killua exchanged a glance, as if trying to confirm what had happened.

"Gon, what do we do?"

"... Run?"

"I'm good with that. I'll grab (y/n), you get us out of here?"

"Yeah!"

Despite the fact that you could hear and see everything still, it felt as if your body had fully shut down. Had you been more in control, you probably would have scolded the boys for making their plan out-loud, but at least their plan involved keeping you safe. Even as you found yourself being carried by the same boy you watched over, you couldn't help but question what you were going to do now.

#x reader #yandere #female reader #yandere x reader #fem reader #reader insert #yandere adult trio x reader #yandere hisoka x reader #yandere illumi x reader #platonic gon x reader x killua #tw yandere

[mrs-gucci]

Lucky Lady {Sir Clyde Logan x nobility!Reader}

author’s notes: KNIGHT!CLYDE LOGAN HAS ARRIVED!! and damn, I think he’s here to stay <3 <3 ((yes, I’m fully aware that southern drawl likely didn’t exist in medieval times, but it’s just a signature of Clyde’s character and I couldn’t bring myself to take it away lol))

warnings: fluff. some hurt/comfort themes/elements. blossoming romance. r.i.p. historical accuracy.

(possible) tw’s: brief depictions of battle & dead bodies (non-descriptive). injuries/wounds. blood (non-graphic).

word count: 1.9k

clyde’s taglist peeps!  @goddessofsprings​ @icarusinthesea my general taglist peeps! @safarigirlsp​ @babbushka​ ​@mrs-zimmerman​ @dirtytissuebox​ (if you’d like to be added to or removed from any of my taglists, the link to the google form is HERE or on the top of my masterlist)

terms to know:

mare is a female horse.

Far off thunder gently rumbles the rain-softened ground and bolts of white streak across the darkened sky as you ride out of the kingdom gates towards the sight of the once raging battle. The vicious storm has passed, now, and despite your father’s warning, you rode out to search for any survivors. Bodies litter the ground and you have to look away, feeling sick to your stomach. 

Your horse begins to snort and whinny in distress, suddenly panicked. You can barely see through the hood of your cloak, but you’re pretty sure you see one of the soldiers moving.

You nudge your horses side and she lunges forward into a slow trot, carefully navigating through the maze of fallen soldiers. The closer you get, the clearer you can hear his groans of pain. 

“P-Please,” He breathes, voice hoarse. “Help m-me.”

Without hesitation, you jump down and rush over to him, trying not to slip in the thick layer of mud. 

“Sir? Where are you wounded?”

You pull out the few bandages you managed to fit in the saddlebag in preparation for his response. 

“Ma arm.”

Your eyes fall onto the limb, and you see that almost his entire lower forearm has been sliced off by a crude blade, leaving in its wake an open wound. You quickly and very, very gently wrap the bandages around it.

His half mud-covered face scrunches with every little bit that you wrap and small grunts of torment leave him, but he remains relatively still and calm. When you finish up, you can see the tears that have fallen and cut through the brown painted over his skin.

“Can you stand? I cannot lift you myself, but if you can mount my horse, I’ll walk you back to the castle.” You say, using your cloak to wipe away the rest of the mud, revealing the other half of the knight’s breathtakingly handsome face. 

He nods. “I t-think I can stand, but I might need a lil h-help at the beginnin’.”

You place your hand on the center of his back as he slowly sits up with a soft grunt. “There we go. Are you feeling alright still?”

The young knight chuckles, and you furrow your eyebrows. When he sees your confused and hurt expression, he shakes his head.

“‘m not laughin’ at ya, milady, I’m just not used t’ this sorta treatment. Them nurses n’ ma fellow brothers-in-arms, they ain’t usually so kind or nice t’ us. I’m used t’ gettin’ picked on n’ bossed ‘round.” He chuckles quietly, then blushes a bit. “And none of ‘em ain’t ever as beautiful as ya are.”

His nickname makes your heart skip a beat, and your cheeks warm as you laugh softly.

“Well, now, I never said I wouldn’t be bossing you around.” You jest, which makes him smile. “Only when you’re being stubborn.”

“That, I think I can handle jus’ fine.”

The handsome man chuckles before he begins to rise up from the ground, legs quaking as his weight is put on them once more. He eventually steadies enough to take his first step to where your horse is standing.

Your mare’s ears perk and her nostrils flare at the physically imposing figure approaching. You go to try and calm her, but the knight promptly stops you.

“I got ‘er. It ain’t you she’s ‘fraid of, an’ if ‘m gonna be gettin’ on ‘er back, she’s gotta know I ain’t a threat.”

He slowly walks up to her, taking one step at a time, holding his good hand out. 

“That’s it, ’m not gon’ hurt ya. Good girl, ‘m not gonna do ya any harm.”

She looks a bit hesitant still, but allows the tall, limping man to come up to her. He lets her inspect him for a moment and briefly sniff his outstretched hand, then she relaxes a bit. 

You’re amazed at his natural ability to work with horses, smiling as you step up and put the excess bandages back into the saddlebag. He rubs her head and strokes her muzzle, laughing softly when she starts nudging him with her head whenever he stops petting her.

“Woah now, don’t get too rough with him, Lucky.” You say, smiling shaking your head. “He’s still on the mend.”

“Lucky, hm? Well, I guess now that I know ‘er name, it’s only fittin’ I know yours.”

Your cheeks warm again. “Y/N.”

“Mm, Y/N.” His hand extends to yours. “A pretty name fit fer a pretty girl such as yerself. ‘m Clyde.”

The two of you shake hands, then Clyde gives Lucky one final scratch before approaching the saddle, climbing up onto her back with a surprisingly swift ease. You go to walk up and hold her head to walk back to the castle, but he stops you.

“An’ where is it ya think yer goin’?”

You look up at him, confused. “I told you I was gonna take you back to the castle.”

“Yer not walkin’ all that way, I ain’t allowin’ it.” He pouts softly, huffing as he thinks up a plan. “C’mon up ‘ere. Ya can lay right ‘ere in front ‘a me an’ hold on.”

Your eyes widen for a moment. Surely he can’t be serious... “I’m not so sure that’s a good idea.”

His good hand drops the reins and extends down to you. He looks at you with a kind expression.

“I’ll make sure ya don’t fall. Do ye trust me?”

For some unknown reason, you really, really did. You nod, allowing him to help you lay across the front of the saddle, legs hanging off one side of the horse. You look up at the handsome knight and he looks down at you, smiling.

“Hold on tight, milady. We can’t have ya fallin’, now can we?”

You bite your lip, nodding as you wrap your arms around the back of his neck. Once you’re secure, Clyde nudges Lucky forward and heads off towards the palace at a slow gallop.

This close proximity and angle allows you to truly drink in his natural beauty under the low glow of fading sunlight. His dark hair flutters in the evening’s breeze, brilliant alabaster skin splattered with all sorts of freckles and moles, each one even more perfectly placed than the last.

Lucky’s hooves soon hit the cobblestone and you look out between her pricked ears to the scarcely-populated streets of the villages. Everyone who happened to be out on the street gave bewildered looks as the bloody and muddy scene trotted by them.

You direct Clyde to the castle entrance and jump down, already missing the heat of his body pressing against you, informing one of the guards that you had an injured knight that needed immediate attention. He nods and rushes off to grab the doctor.

Clyde smiles when you walk back up to him, hopping down from the saddle slowly and carefully. He strokes Lucky’s neck as he speaks.

“So, will I be seein’ ya again sometime, m’lady?

Your cheeks burn and you giggle softly, biting your lip. “Only if you’d like to.”

“I’d love nothin’ more than to see ye again.” He says with a smile.

“How about I have the doctor inform me when you’re all stitched up and I’ll come down, if you’re feeling up for a visit?”

He nods, pausing his strokes along Lucky’s neck to scratch the back of his own. “I’ll always be feelin’ up for a visit from a pretty lil lady like ya, Y/N.”

You feel your heart flutter for what must be the thousandth time since you met the handsome young knight. Somehow, his words seem so much more genuine than anyone’s have before, and you find yourself truly believing them.

His head dips down a bit and you look up at him, instinctively leaning up towards his lowering face. You can feel his hot breath spread over your skin, noses touching now, and your eyes begin to flutter shut as his lips reach just over yours--

“Milady!” The guard says from behind you, jolting you and Clyde apart. He turns a soft red color, looking down at the ground while you spin around and try to keep some wits about you as you approach the guard and doctor.

A brief visual inspection of the wounded knight is done and immediately, the doctor insists that Clyde come to the medical ward right away. He hands Lucky’s reins to you with a small nod, then allows himself to be escorted up through the large castle doors.

You take Lucky back down to the royal stables before rushing up to your bedroom, eagerly awaiting the doctor’s arrival. The night draws on and, before you know it, you’re fast asleep.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Birds chirp as the sun begins to rise over the land once more. You’re roused from night’s slumber by the light peeking through the luxurious curtains and you instantly arise from bed, acutely panicked by the fact that the doctor never came to retrieve you last night. 

You quickly re-pull your hair up before scrambling to find something suitable to wear down to the medical ward, settling on a simple blue villagers dress. As soon as you open the door, you’re startled to find the doctor standing just outside, his hand raised in preparation to knock.

“Milady.” He greets you. “Sir Clyde has been unwavering from his desire to see you all throughout the night. I assured him that I’d come to get you first thing.”

Thanking the doctor and pushing past him without another word, you quickly rush to where Clyde’s laid on a cot in one of the closed-off areas. You smile at the sight of him before knocking gently on the wall outside his room.

“I believe my presence was requested.”

Clyde’s entire being lightens when his eyes land on you, content pout pulling up into a soft smile. 

“It was indeed, m’lady.”

You walk up and sit at his bedside, trying to ignore the way your body warms at the sight of his bare chest. Your hand slowly slides over to meet his, resting atop it.

“How are you doing? Are you in much pain?”

He nods. “The pain ‘s pretty bad, but ‘m doin’ alright. But, ‘m doin’ much better now that I get t’ see ya.”

“Always happy to help.” You smile, biting your lip. “I’m glad to hear that you’re okay, Sir Clyde.”

His cheeks turn pink and he shyly threads his fingers through yours. 

“So, now that yer here, I was hopin’ that we could...” He trails off and you smile, moving up a bit closer to him, leaning in slightly so that your faces are close together. The breath catches in his throat. “F-Finish where we left off, ‘fore I had t-t’ go.”

You laugh softly and, as soon as you nod, Clyde closes the space between you, lips pressing on yours gently. Both of you let out a soft sigh of relief at the feeling of finally being joined in this way, and his good hand comes up to cup your cheek. His lips tug up into a big, face-splitting grin as he pulls away slowly, still cradling your cheek.

“Thank ye fer savin’ me, Y/N. I dunno what I can do t’ repay ya.”

You smile and chuckle. “I think saying ‘thank you’ a few more times is a good place to start.”

Clyde laughs softly, pressing his forehead against yours.

“Whatever yer heart desires, m’lady.”

#mrs-gucci #mrs-gucci writes clyde logan #logan lucky #logan lucky (2017) #logan lucky fanfiction #medieval au #knight!Clyde Logan #knight!Clyde #sir clyde logan #clyde logan #clyde logan fanfiction #clyde logan x reader #clyde logan x you #clyde logan fluff #clyde x reader #clyde x you #clyde logan x reader fluff #medieval clyde logan #adcu authors of color #adcu community #adcu fanfiction #adcu fanfic #adam driver #adam driver fanfiction #adam driver character #adam driver fluff #cw: battle #tw: dead body #injuries #cw: blood

[underworldobsessed]

To the Stars

Suggested by: @satikryze and @ajedilikehisfather

Prompt: Obi-Wan Leaves the Order and raises Korkie with Satine. 

Thank you for giving me the chance to write happiness for these two after I was broken to pieces because of Lawless. I hope you enjoy!! If anyone else has any prompts, feel free to let me know!

Can also be read here

Satine buried her face into the pillow as she felt fingers brushing through her hair, humming softly. It was still early, at least in her mind. She didn’t want to get up. Of course, she had responsibilities, but her bed was warm and if the man laying next to her continued to play with her hair, she was going to fall back asleep. 

“Satine,” Obi-Wan’s voice was gentle, and she lifted her head off the pillow. The sight of him shirtless in her bed was more than she could have asked for. “We need to get up. Korkie’s going to be up in a little over an hour and we want to make sure everything is ready for him.” 

Their darling boy, born four years ago on this day. She hadn’t known what was going to happen when she found out she was pregnant, when she, in a panic, called the Jedi Temple to speak to Obi-Wan to tell him. He had been there, and when he found out, he told her he was going to leave the order. He had been back on Mandalore within a few days and hadn’t left her side since. They had been married in a small ceremony, with Qui-Gon and her sister as the only witnesses. Korkie’s birth had been stressful too. Her small frame meant complications, but she had survived and their son was perfect in every sense of the word. She adored her son, and she knew Obi-Wan did too. 

“Satine, I see you dozing back off.” His lips pressed against her shoulder, the scratching of the beard he had been growing the past few years sending shivers down her spine. She hadn’t been sure about it at first, but the way it scratched at her skin sent pleasure through her and she couldn’t find it in herself to complain. “You don’t want the rude awakening that you’re going to get from Kork’ika, are you?” 

“Mm, no, I’m getting up.” She turned around and pressed their lips together in a chaste kiss. “Good morning, cyar’ika.” She sat up, moving to get herself ready. Bo-Katan was going to be running things for today. With Obi-wan by her side as she ruled, they were able to come up with a compromise about the warrior culture on Mandalore, preventing what could have been a fall out between the two sisters. They ruled together instead, and Bo had promised that they would have the day to spend with their son on his birthday. 

“Good morning, my dear.” Obi-Wan was behind her for a moment as she brushed her teeth, wrapping his arms tight around her for a moment, kissing her neck again before going to get himself ready for the day as well. “What did Korkie want to do for his birthday today?” 

“He wanted to go on a ship and see the stars.” He smiled, “Since you can’t see them super well from the city.” The one problem of living in a domed city was that you couldn’t see the stars, not truly. “I think it’s a great idea.” 

“I think so too,” She pulled on a simple outfit, nothing that displayed her royalty today, as she didn’t want to think about her role. Today was about her family, and that was the only thing that mattered to her. She stared at herself in the mirror for a moment, and smiled. 

“Are you feeling alright, cyare?” Obi-Wan asked as he came up, wearing an outfit styled after his jedi robes but in the Kryze colors. He had been uncomfortable in a lot of the outfits she had provided for him as her husband, and upon realizing the reason, got him outfits that were a little closer to what he was used to wearing, just in her house colors. The change in him was palpable, and she was more than happy to see him in her colors. “You look a little pale, more so than usual.” 

A smile crossed her lips and she laughed to herself. Of course she looked pale, but the reason for it wasn’t something she was ready to share with Obi-Wan… not until tonight anyway. She had a plan once Korkie was asleep tonight. “I’m fine, Obi. Come on, we have to get things set up.” She turned and brushed her fingers against his for a moment before leaving their room in their apartment and going to check on breakfast. 

It wasn’t long after the breakfast was being set up on the table that Satine heard footsteps hurrying towards her and tiny arms wrapping around her legs. 

“Buir!” Korkie giggled and looked up at her, his auburn hair getting in his face. 

“Good morning, ad’ika!” She picked up her son and held him in her arms, pressing kisses to his face to his giggling. “Happy Birthday, my little star.” 

“Is that my little youngling I hear?” Obi-Wan came out from the kitchen with the caf for him and Satine, setting it on the table. “Hello, darling Korkie. Happy Birthday.” He moved to wrap both her and Korkie in a hug and kissed his head. Korkie beamed under the attention of his parents. 

“Stars today?” Satine laughed. Her son truly had a one track mind. “Are we gonna see the stars today, buir?” 

“We are, ad’ika.” Satine reassured him “But you’re going to want to eat breakfast first, we made your favorite.” She had to hide her wince as she heard her son’s squeal. He was very loud when he wanted to be. She set him down in his seat at the table before taking hers next to him. She moved her caf away, not wanting to touch it. 

Besides the food ending up pretty much anywhere but in Korkie’s mouth for a while, breakfast went off rather smoothly. Korkie was off rushing around, finding the plush toy he wanted to take on his journey to see the stars. Obi-Wan was running after him, Satine smiling to herself as she watched. 

Her comlink going off distracted her briefly and she moved into another room to take the call, concerned that it was going to be Bo-Katan with something to report. But the kindly face of Qui-Gon filled her vision and she smiled. 

“Master Qui-Gon, it's good to see you,” Satine felt herself relaxing. “To what do we owe the pleasure of your call?” 

“I wanted to wish young Korkie a happy birthday,” Her heart warmed at his words. Qui-Gon had been like a father to her while she was on the run, and she owed him a great deal. And even though Obi-Wan was no longer in the order, she knew he checked up on him from time to time, to make sure all was well. Korkie too loved Qui-Gon, referring to him as-

“Ba’buir!” She heard her son’s voice as he ran into the room, reaching up at Satine to try and get picked up. She didn’t have to think twice as she picked him up and got him on eye level with the image of Qui-Gon. “Ba’buir! I’m four today!”

“So you are, Korkie.” She saw the smile on his face. It was hard to not fall in love with her son. “Happy birthday, young one. Young Padawan Anakin and I should be in the area in a few rotations to drop off your gift on our way to our next mission.” Satine had heard about Qui-Gon’s new padawan, and met him over a call once. He seemed like a bright young boy, and Satine couldn’t wait to meet him in person. 

Korkie giggled and clapped. “I miss you, Ba’buir!” Satine laughed and set him down “Bye Ba’buir! We’re gonna see the stars!” Korkie ran off again in search of Obi-wan. 

“He reminds me so much of Obi-Wan at that age.” Qui-Gon smiled “You must have your hands full… and it’s only going to get crazier around there, is it not?” 

Satine laughed. “It will, I’m going to be telling Obi tonight.” 

“Telling me what?” Obi-Wan smiled as he walked in, brightening at the sight of his former master. “Master! How are you?” 

“Just fine, Obi-Wan, and you don’t have to call me master anymore. You are no longer my padawan.” Qui-Gon reminded him “But I must be off, I just wanted to wish Korkie a happy birthday. I will see you both soon.” The communication ended and Obi-Wan’s arms once again wrapped around Satine’s waist. “What are you telling me tonight?” 

“Nothing, cyar’ika. Don’t worry about it.” She turned around “Now, we must head off to our ship. Korkie isn’t going to be patient for much longer.” She saw the concern in Obi-Wan’s face, but he masked it quickly to nod and go and hurry their son along. 

As they walked up to the ship, she could see the excitement in her son’s eyes dim and nerves take its place. She rested her forehead on Korkie's, trying to get him to relax. 

“It’s okay, Kork’ika. You’re going to see the stars, don’t forget.” She hoped her words calmed him as they boarded the ship and settled into the co-pilot’s chair. Korkie was seated in her lap. Obi-wan got into the pilot’s seat and they took off, heading outside the city and up towards the sky.

She never did that well flying, so at the turn of her stomach during take off, she swallowed, taking deep, even breaths. She felt a small hand on her face and she opened her eyes to Korkie looking at her with concern. 

“Are you okay, Buir?” Her heart ached at his tone, and she caught Obi-Wan glancing back at her briefly as he navigated them out of the atmosphere. 

“I’m fine, I’ve just never done well with take-off.” It was a partial lie, but not one either of her family seemed to notice. “I’m fine now, don’t worry.” Korkie nodded and settled back on her lap, gasping at the sight of the stars in the sky once they were finally in space. 

The small family enjoyed their time on the ship, having a meal Satine had packed underneath the stars. They only returned to their home as Korkie fell asleep in Obi-Wan’s arms, clutching a new plush Loth Cat that Satine had got him. They transferred him back to Satine as Obi-Wan got them back home. After they landed, Satine carried him to his room and tucked him into bed, kissing his head as Obi-Wan came up behind her and did the same. 

The two of them went to sit on the couch, Satine curling into her husband’s arms. 

“I can’t believe our son is four.” His voice rumbled in his chest and she smiled. “Time has flown so fast.” 

“It has,”

“I believe I overheard you tell Master Qui-Gon that you had something to tell me.” Obi-Wan looked down at Satine, who was smiling a little wider.

“I do.” 

“Are you going to tell me?” He could tell she was drawing it out, but as to why he wasn’t sure. “It’s nothing bad, right?” 

“No of course not!” Satine swallowed, where there had been excitement, there was also nerves. “You noticed this morning how I didn’t touch the caf you made me? And that I was a little bit pale this morning..” He nodded, waiting for her to continue. “Well… both of those things are tied together… Obi-Wan, how… would you feel if I told you that we’re having another kid?” 

Obi-Wan was quiet for a moment and Satine felt her nerves grow. She knew that he was great with Korkie, but what if he didn’t want to have another kid. What if he was just happy with the three of them. In the back of her mind, she figured they should have been more careful, that if they didn’t want this outcome, they should have been more conscious of protection. 

Before she could truly spiral down that path, she felt Obi-Wan cup her cheek and direct her gaze to his. He was smiling wide. 

“Are you certain? Are you pregnant?” At her nod, he moved and kissed her passionately. His fingers tangled in her hair and he kept her close to him. 

“You’re happy?” She asked, as if she was still unsure. He laughed and nodded. 

“Force, of course I’m happy. You’ve already given me one beautiful child, and now you’re carrying our second child. I couldn’t be happier!” He rested one hand on her still flat belly as he held her close. “I love you, Satine.” 

“I love you too, Obi-Wan.” She sank into his hold, her eyes closing slightly. She couldn’t imagine herself in a world where Obi-Wan hadn’t stayed, in a world where she had to raise Korkie on her own. The idea just felt like a bad dream, one that Obi-Wan’s arms around her waist as she dozed off chased away as she imagined a little girl with hair like hers and a smile so much like her Obi-Wan.

#Obitine #Obi-Wan Kenobi #Satine Kryze #I'm in denial #Jen Writes

[straydawg-writing]

𝐭𝐡𝐫𝐞𝐞'𝐬 𝐚 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐦.

- 𝓚. 𝙯𝙤𝙡𝙙𝙮𝙘𝙠

• hunter x hunter series

⋯✰⋯

Chapter 2–

You knew that if anyone outside of this car saw you right now, you might just pass away. To put it simply: You were sitting on Killua's lap.

All because Kite's truck only fit seven people.

The way this predicament came about would have been comical if it weren't for your burning embarrassment. Unfortunately, you could remember very clearly how it all unfolded:

"Hmm, it seems that there aren't enough seats for all eight of us, so one person will have to squish in," Kite said, opening the car door to check the seats.

"Who's the smallest one here?" Gon asked. All seven pairs of eyes turned to look at you.

Great. The benefits of never having had your growth spurt.

Killua was the one to open his mouth, snickering, "Obviously it's Y/N. She's like a midget!"

"Killua, you are literally an entire 2 ½ feet shorter than Kite over there," you defended yourself.

From a distance, you had guessed Kite was around 6'3. Once you got a closer look at him, you discovered that he towered over you like a skyscraper. Your curiosity got the best of you and naturally, you had asked him what his height was. The man was a whopping 7 foot 10.

"It's okay Y/N, you can squish with me," Gon offered.

Killua shook his head. "No way. Squishing will just make everyone uncomfortable. It's better if only one person suffers. Y/N, you can sit on my lap."

He had left no room for argument. Sighing, you knew that even if you tried, you had no say in this anymore. You would just have to suck it up for the next 4 hours.

Now you were here, sitting on him, worrying about whether you were cutting the circulation off to his legs or not. Or perhaps you were too bony and it was hurting him.

You could feel his warm breath on your neck, and it sent goosebumps across your entire body. This was beyond awkward.

"Stop it," Killua muttered, right in your ear.

Oh, you'd done it now, hadn't you? Killua was gonna push you off onto Gon instead.

"Stop what?"

"You're so stiff, just...relax," he paused, "I don't mind sitting this way."

Hearing his voice so close to you sent butterflies fluttering in your stomach.

Maybe this was okay.

You untensed, trying to adjust yourself to a more comfortable position, but the bumpy car ride wasn't making it very easy. Kite ran over a rock, and without a seatbelt it sent you jerking upwards. Thanks to his fast reflexes, Killua gripped your waist, holding you tightly to his body.

"The seatbelt won't reach over the both of us, but this'll keep you from flying."

"Heh, thanks Killua. I think we should reach the beach in a bit..." you said, hoping that the thought of it being over soon might offer him some relief.

It doesn't matter who it is, being this close to someone could send anyone into a frenzy. You were hyper-aware of every one of his fingers grasping onto your waist. He wasn't lying. He was keeping you right there.

You'd just have to stop thinking about it, you told yourself. Or else you'd go crazy.

Trying to relax back into Killua like he had asked, you let your mind wander to the reason you were driving in the first place. The day before, the three of you had decided to stick with Kite and help him investigate the Chimera ants. The beach you were headed to now is supposed to have a clue about where the ant queen is located, so you could bring an end to the destruction before it starts. During the car ride, you had learned they were a truly deadly species. One bite of an innocent passerby, and they had the means to bring the entire human race to extinction.

You felt like something was starting. And your intuition was rarely wrong.

Gazing at Gon who had been talking with Kite for a while now, you noticed how his eyes crinkle into little smiles whenever he talks. You knew that having Kite around, his father's best friend, surely excited him to the bone. Gon was just oozing with optimism, without even trying. You could tell that just by being himself, he was keeping the spirits up of all eight in the group, not allowing any room for doubt or fear to creep into anyone's minds.

At that moment, you swore that whatever happened, you would be there to protect Gon and Killua. Even if it costs you everything.

Hopefully, this wasn't one of your friends' last few moments of tranquility. But if it was, you were determined to spend it well.

Resting your head against Killua, you hoped that he wouldn't mind if you indulged in this for just a moment. You were tired, having not gotten much rest since completing Greed Island and meeting Kite.

It didn't take much time for you to fall asleep to the rise and fall of Killua's steady breathing and his sweet vanilla scent. If you'd been awake, you might have even heard his heartbeat racing beneath you.

⋯✰⋯

You had finally reached the beach.

Killua had nudged you awake once you'd gotten there. You remembered how his blue eyes stared back at you as he poked your face, calling you an idiot for falling asleep, and you chuckled.

There was one thing you were clueless about; Killua had made sure not to move even once the whole rest of the car ride. He was nervous that he might disturb your peacefully sleeping form.

You were still pretty groggy as you looked out at the sea, the bright sun reflecting on the ocean's surface. You wanted to wiggle your toes in the sand, but you were there for a reason. To find anything that might lead to the Queen.

You searched in bushes, behind rocks, under seashells, and even used your nen to sift through as much sand as you could. So far, the group had ruled out the forest and deemed it difficult to know if the ant even ended up on the same island. That's when they decided to release the hellhound. Well- it wasn't a hellhound. It was the little dog you played with yesterday. Along with Gon.

Gon was following behind the dog on all floors, sniffing the ground as he went.

"He can do that?" You asked no one in particular.

"His nose is as sharp as a dog's," Killua responded, watching Gon with an amused look in his eye.

A couple minutes went by with no luck. The only thing the dog had found was a tree to pee on. It looked like the ant wasn't going to be on this island, though Kite had an idea.

"It may have washed ashore somewhere else. Which direction do the currents flow here?" Kite asked the two that had brought us down to the beach. One was short with brown skin and grey hair that sprouted up like hay, while the other had large glasses and two front teeth poking out from his mouth.

"The direction is reversed between day and night. And it also changes with the seasons. I've even heard it's different on certain days. So it'll be tough to pinpoint a location..." said Chipmunk Teeth. That's what you'd call him, since you hadn't gotten his name.

So basically, no one had any idea on how to find the Chimera Ant Queen.

"Continuing to search blindly is pointless. We should return to YorkNew and see if we can find any new leads there."

You heard the group around you agreeing with Kite. He and his friends began walking back to the truck already, but you stayed put. You would catch up to them later.

The ocean reminded you of your home. You thought you should say goodbye to it first.

Ripples of water lapped gently at your feet. You always had a connection with nature. Having lived in a small village located in the middle of a jungle most of your life, the earth had become your dearest friend. One of your earliest memories was from exploring the coves back at home. You stretched out your arm across the water, and watched the liquid softly rise to your hand as you called it.

That's why you chose this nen ability. It tied you to the elements. When you fought with it, together you were one body.

"Y/N, come on! Kite's threatening to leave without you," Gon waved you over. Taking one last look at the sea, you turned away.

The sun was already setting by the time you left for the city.

⋯✰⋯

Going back to YorkNew was the right decision. Now you all knew where to look.

Kite had discovered that the possibilities of the Chimera Ant landing in NGL were the highest. Apparently, NGL was a country populated with people who wanted to get away from machine civilization and live in nature.

You loved nature too, but you thought that was a little extreme. There was a reason you had to leave your beloved jungle behind.

"There may very well be a giant swarm of Chimera Ants already hunting humans down. If that's the case, my top priority will be saving them. You must be able to protect yourselves," Kite warned us.

"And if I am the one in trouble, you should escape without me."

At that, Gon and Killua looked unsettled. But backing down now was not an option.

"Got it," you said, breaking the silence and offering a kind nod to Kite, "and until the very last moment, the three of us will have your back."

"Yeah!" The other two boys concurred.

Now, you sat with Gon and Killua on an airship to NGL. The three of you were sitting on a bench, looking out of a window that framed velvet-peach clouds displaying brilliant silver linings.

Gon was reflecting on their last conversation with Kite.

"You said that Ging had a reason for bringing me and Kite together," he rested his arms and head on the window-frame.

Killua broke his sight from the clouds and looked at Gon.

"Yeah, I did."

"You're probably right. I don't know the reason, but I can't give up halfway, no matter what's going on. Otherwise, I'll disappoint Ging... And I'd never be able to forgive myself either. So I won't run away," Gon continued, resolved with his decision.

There was a moment of silence as the three of you let his words sink in.

You admired Gon's determination, but you hated that Ging had a son risking his life just to avoid disappointing a dad he's never met.

"Man, you had this totally serious expression, so I was expecting something big. But it's just business as usual," Killua smiled.

"Huh?" Gon's mouth hung open. "I thought about this a lot, I even ran a bunch of mental simulations! And I liked what Y/N said earlier, about having Kite's back until the very end."

"Think all you want, but you'll still be Gon. If someone said to abandon them, you'd never do it," You lightly punched his shoulder.

He pouted, cradling where you hit him, and you rolled your eyes.

"Drama queen."

Gon chose to ignore that and turned back to Killua. "Then what would you do?'"

"I'm a spontaneous guy, so I'd think about it once the time comes."

"So, you'd run away?" Gon questioned.

"Depends. I can't say until it actually happens."

"Say for instance..."

Killua threw his hands up, beat, "I can't tell you what I'd do in a hypothetical situation!"

"Then, what about you Y/N?"

"Gon!" You whined.

Truth be told, you hadn't thought about what you would do. It depended like Killua said. But you did know one thing...

"I would never leave you two behind. Even if that meant I'd have to die."

⋯✰⋯

#hunter x hunter #killua x reader #killua zoldyck x reader #hunterxhunter fanfiction #hxh #self insert #y/n #hxh fanfic #chimera ant arc #kite #angst #fluff

[buzzykrueger]

The double loss of a childhood - a not-so-brief analysis through Gon and Kite

WARNING: MAJOR CHIMERA ANT ARC SPOILERS //

. 

.

First of all, this is kinda messy because I was writing and power went off </3. I wouldn’t even call it a meta, more of a psychological analysis. 

It's so complex the way Togashi works through symbolisms. Gon and Killua had to let go of their childhood and childish behaviors. Had to make challenging choices. While two of the few grown ups who cared about them and gave proper attention to their relationship, are the perfect imagery of children: new Kite and Bisky.

These two are the greatest and overall positive influences within Gon and Killua lives in terms of adult Hunters, always looking out for the boys. Both of them are experienced, opposing the appearance of a child.

The irony is that, while Bisky and post-CAA Kite look like children (Kite is a child now, to be honest), Gon and Killua are, actually, real children facing painful and forced coming of age, enduring conflicts that even adults can fail to cope with properly - and this has been acknowledged by Knov and Shoot, also two experienced Hunters that got mesmerized by how those two kids could still fight, despite everything they saw and been through. 

Anyways, Gon and Killua got their emotional development and their lack of experience put under extreme conditions, forcing them to break their dynamic without proper thinking, basically facing the war, the complexity of morals and relationships like adults.

That said, I’ll won’t be deeply working some points that I’m assuming you are all familiar with, like Gon’s reaction because Kite has been the fuel of his search for approval and being valued, or like how difficult it is for Gon not to handle things alone. 

First of all, Kite is indeed Gon’s fuel for his journey. For the first time, someone cared to tell him the truth about Ging, and made him feel a little bit important. Noticed. Someone stayed by his side, for a short moment, and gave him a reason.

And if you take into account that he died two times before Gon’s eyes, it makes everything more shocking for the kid.

“Huh, what do you mean?”

Pitou has killed the physical adult Kite, but the rebirth itself “killed” the father figure imagery that Gon saw in Kite. Resembling now a girl of similar age as Gon's, Kite can not be kept as a replacement for the mentor and father Gon didn't have. And this is a heavy loss, because it took Gon’s goal away from him.

It's also a very smart and symbolic way to end this desperate journey around the urge of becoming deserving of proud, especially from Kite, the one who gave his life a purpose. Because Gon has stated, back in chapter 7, that “Kite seemed to be prouder of him (Ging) than he was of himself”, so he wants to walk the same steps as his biological father to make someone proud of him the same way. He can't project his goals around others anymore - and like the Koala Man said, the heart must be fed, or you’ll end up doing the same things again and never getting satisfied with the outcome. What you seek must be found in yourself.

But what Kite sees, in this chapter called Repentance (337) is that Gon is probably not ready for the amount of reflection waiting for him. Kite then sees no good in weighting his shoulders any more. The moment where he asks Gon “sorry about what?” is important, because it’s where Kite and the readers get to understand that Gon needs a break before realizing it.

Kite, then, avoid this subject. Gon is not ready.

Instead of throwing the truth about what was the real issue here, Kite first gives Gon craved the most: he praises him for being able to defeat a stronger enemy that Kite himself could not. 

The boy’s reaction, though, it’s not what we would’ve expect from Gon.

Gon shows no trace of excitement over the fact he has accomplished his first goal - he was able to impress Kite. But, why is this so important? Because this is a breaking point for his journey. Gon doesn’t feel like he cares about this anymore. If Kite is not the same, he shouldn’t be either. If being approved doesn’t mean the same, meeting Ging is pointless. His past self has died, alongside with Kite  - figuratively and directly speaking.

The troubled boy acknowledges that "if it wasn't for Killua (name separated from the rest ‘cause he has his special spot) and everybody else, I wouldn't be here". This means a lot for Gon’s development and grief, because the moments where he feels he’s messed up or must redeem himself, he doesn’t mind getting hurt or overcoming fear in order to handle “his mess” all alone. If he proves himself and protect the ones he loves, he will do it. But he needed help, and this is something he doesn’t feel proud of. 

That’s when Kite shifts the engine once more. 

It’s useless to make Gon feel better addressing old desires. Like Kite himself, Gon also got a second chance. They are both letting go from their past. 

With a sweet tone, Kite breaks the cycle of the strong father figure: it's the same for him. Kite, the major inspiration for Gon, says that he didn't make it alone, too - and that doesn't make him less strong. He can’t be this parental figure anymore, maybe he didn’t even know he was. The only thing he knows, is that there are different types of strength. They are not weak for having friends and needing help.

With this, Kite closes the curtains. A strong and admirable Hunter, that wasn’t any less powerful for needing help. Gon shouldn’t be ashamed of this kind of strength: the power of making others wanting to be with him. Something that could not coexist with following Ging steps - Gon must belong to himself and separate him from others’ expectations.

That’s the final act of the mentor Kite, where he dies as a projection. Funny is, this moment with Kite holds some good parallels with the next chapter, where Killua and Gon part ways. Though I don’t think they’ve meant 100% the same, there are some hints that Killua also kept the soil fertile for Gon - but this is yet to be addressed in a future post.

Back to the story, Kite’s not a parent, not even an grown man anymore. He pushes Gon forward to meet Ging, because that’s the one thing that will end this cycle, definitively. No one to look up to, to pursue admiration from, and getting blind from fear of being weak and left behind. He must face change. This desire to be approved even if it costs his life has reached an end. This part of his journey must be accomplished - and left behind.

Gon can now center his journey around developing his self-esteem, thoughts on himself after knowing his own worth. He has a lot to make up for with Killua, but he had been forgiven. The soil is fertile once again, the seed of self forgiveness can grow. He can come up with a goal that centers around love with proper growth and responsibility, without others having to make up for self-esteem he lacks. He’s a traumatized child, that probably never put much thought on how lonely and scared he felt before he acted, and his coping mechanisms mimics his lack of experience.

He can now be free of the thought that, if he sacrifices this "undeserving being" he is on his mind, people will choose not to leave. Because giving up on his life wasn’t the right way to let them feel safe around him. They’ve left anyway. Everyone thanked him and look like they’re not mad, and he has found his father, but why things still look... unsatisfying? What meaning Ging even holds for him, still?

Losing his first goal is like losing his past self, and his childhood. Gon can’t walk backwards, though he comes back to Whale Island, things are not the same anymore, just like him. Losing the imagery and the person Kite is a twist of cycle, losing the urge of meeting Ging is cutting ties with this past self and this mad search for his own value in wrong sources, and now he has to understand what he wants and can do the way he is.

He must figure it out on his own, how he can grow from this and how to fix things before he finds a new goal. He has found something more important than the thing he was once hunting. Or better saying, someone. Someone that should’ve, yes, shared his feelings instead of creating distance - but he knows this certain someone left him with a smile because he cared. Killua will never overbear him, but can’t be the one to analyze everything for him anymore.

Gon has been forced to slow down and think, because in loneliness, there’s no one to impress. There, is where his identity will be found.

When you care about yourself, you learn how to take care of others. True, changing hurts. Losing childhood hurts. Losing strong beliefs and having to reconstruct yourself is a process. Bereaving children mostly don’t get proper attention because their anger, isolation and dismissive attitudes are often scolded than embraced, because they’re expected to endure loss like adults.

The dead don’t come back to life. Last minute, saved by the most important person in his life. But changing is the only inevitable thing while living. Kite was that important, but he must go away from the responsibility Gon has, unconsciously, put him through. Now, his journey consists of a blank page, waiting to be written once again with this new self, in order to learn how to fix his relationship with the one he loves the most. Killua wasn’t planned to exist in Gon’s life. They didn’t expect to run into each other, but as soon as they did, they’ve slowly changed their goals. Things seem off right now, but there is no room for replacements or masks. 

Gon might have not noticed, but his goal wasn’t the same already. Meeting Ging brings not the same feeling anymore, especially because Killua was the first thing running Gon’s mind when thinking about this meeting, a major indicative that Killua was, already, his top priority over his father - and maybe he never put a second thought on that, the way Gon is single-minded.

But now there is room for a lot of thinking, and there’s something we must remember, an optimistic hint that I’m saving its analysis for the separation meta:

“Gon is not the type to break a promise twice”, Killua has once said. 

#gon #kite #gon freccss #hunter x hunter #hxh #meta #??? not quite tho

[blackfemmecharacterdependency]

BFCD Reviews by Nesha: Final Space, Season 3

Everybody that know me know that I’m high class #Quillective trash and my main thoughts and feelings go out to Quinn Ergon and Gary Goodspeed - precious Gemini gems, and of course the BABIES: Little Cato, Ash and Fox #NeshaLuhDaKids I had some attachment to Avocato once upon a time, but that n***a got on my LAST nerves this season, so we currently at “Do you, Boo” status by the end of S3, and eventually, yes, I’ma get to why that is. 

Disclaimer for somebody who stumbled across this post because of the fandom tags - I am an independent partaker of this content, not “part of the fandom,” and my audience in particular is NOT for everybody. SO: If you may have been criticized in the past for casual racism, tone deafness to Black women’s concerns or accused of misogynoir or antiblackness, leave now. 

If you don’t like cussing, AAVE, general ratchetness and mean lesbian energy, you too might wanna go. A bitch can be eloquent, but I type like I talk, at times, so it is what it is and I don’t curate for kids, dudes, or nonblacks. That’s just what that is.

I wanna start with Ash Graven. This season is about Ash more than anybody else, despite the fact that there was a lot of emphasis on Avocato’s toxic ass man pain and growth in Quinn and Gary’s relationship, ULTIMATELY, nobody in the crew did more coming into fruition as Ash did, and I have a lot to say about her, because I have a lot of feelings.

♡ Ash Graven

1. Ash is a kid. Lol. Everybody got very confused because of the unnecessary transformation that Invictus gave her. Ash did not “grow up,” her body was altered. That’s a fuckin kid in a woman’s body. A kid who has previously been living with survivor’s guilt, parental abuse/neglect/exploitation, chronic trauma, and a disastrous superpower that most people could not be trusted to carry. She’s a child having a coming of age moment in this season that is mostly molded in manipulation. If you hate on Ash, go fuck yourself. ESPECIALLY if I’ve caught you stanning other characters who have been shit characters, in this fandom or not. Ash was dealt a shit hand and nobody had her back but her brothers, and she’s done what she could and thought was best to care for them. Anybody that missed that - just don’t have kids, K.

2. Ash has no parental guidance. As far as she knows, the only adults who have ever had her back are dead and the ones that she’s stuck with now, she GAVE a chance to try to trust them. She gave Quinn a chance to try to see some of Nightfall (the only adult that we’ve seen not exploit her) in her. She gave Gary a chance by choosing him over Clarence, when she had to make a choice. She even gave Clarence’s ass another chance - with which he responded by dying to not fail her. Now, she has Gary, who just a few days or weeks ago, idek, forced her to try to summon her powers while she was both injured and also upset over having to leave her brother behind - TO SAVE HIS GIRLFRIEND! And she got snatched away in the process and left behind with the enemy, to be mentally assaulted and returned changed, only to have them not trust her.

I love Quinn too. I love her dearly. But the facts were that she was dying and having an episode that nobody could really help with, and Gary didn’t take the time or consideration to think about the stress that he was putting on Ash by putting her in the position to make her feel like she needed to save Quinn for him. Whether or not she was the only one who could, that is a lot to put on a child, and not only did he do it, but he didn’t even seem to think that hard about it whenever he then left her ass. Sure, he was glad when she was returned, but that was a fucked up situation that yet another adult put her into, and the first thing that he should have wanted to do when seeing her was to apologize and try to make it right. It was a huge miscalculation to treat her as a potential enemy that he and Avocato needed to vet. EVEN IF that’s what she was to them, both of them should have had the sense to assess while still treating her as the kid that they supposedly knew.

3. Most of her trauma has been recent and continuous. She looked up to Nightfall, watched her die, and had a meltdown. The events from Season 2 (with Clarence almost killing Fox and leaving him to die, her leaving his side to help out, seeing that Sheryl was treacherous to her own son, losing Nightfall), and the events that are taking place in Season 3 are only in the span of a few months.

They were only stranded for a month whenever we see them surviving together. That girl has had more happen to her to hurt her than to help her and nobody around her BUT Little Cato has been sensitive to that. And they are all fucking adults.

These things being noted - changing Ash’s design was the absolute worse fucking thing. Aging a girl up to make the bad things that follow more palatable is what that seems to be. Ash is still a kid. And THEN, they allegedly made her a queer kid. I say allegedly, because that “reveal” was so poorly done and subtle and weak that I, an almost 40 year old queer, didn’t realize that that’s what they meant whenever they said that they were gonna reveal somebody as a character who is part of the LGBT community.

So... FS production just gon’ decide not only to transform her body into that of a woman, when her mind is still full on traumatized child and hormonal teenager, but also, she likes girls, and they didn’t even do it in a cohesive way that added to the story. They threw it in, like, “BTW, she likes girls, and also, she’s full grown now.” then immediately went for the “Villain” lever, and bitches just ate that shit up. Fuck y’all, forreal. 

& Fox

He didn’t deserve that shit. And, I know a lot of people felt that he was pointless and boring, but his ass was sweet and caring and searching for love and acceptance. As a background character, I liked him. But, he was literally just fodder for Ash’s downfall, which was unfair and problematic, considering that his ass is definitely Black coded. Don’t play. He was voiced by a Black man, spoke with a blaccent, and definitely would be read as Black if you wasn’t looking at him and seeing an alien. They gave him a sacrificial negro trope, the big friendly negro that can kill you but loves everybody trope, and they used his death to just push some narrative forward to set up the one verified queer character as a villain. They got they ass in a vehicle and rolled right over another Black character, and another queer character. Chile...

 ♡ Little Cato!!!

My precious have not been getting some good for too long, and I have had it. He’s not focused on so much this season as he is in the background of other people’s stories, but a very important takeaway is and will always be that Little Cato, aside from Fox, really was the only one here who consistently treated her like she mattered, so it made a lot of sense that he could be the catalyst for her finally having ENOUGH with these people.

I really wish that he could have found out the truth about his past from Avocato, because that’s really who OWED him that truth, but Ash did the thing that I’d expect and told him, to be honest with him. She even told him that Avocato wanted to tell him and that she took that right away from him, because she didn’t believe he deserved it, and I’m respecting her for that, too. I wish she could see how much it hurt Little Cato for her to try to take him away from his home. 

Little Cato has lived before, for a while, and he’s not mature enough to behave as a man, but he at least has a loving foundation to draw from, and having had that support, this is more of his home than it is Ash’s. He doesn’t know how to explain that to her, and she doesn’t know how to understand that for him. Just a tragic situation for two kids with a lot of problems.

♡ Quinn Ergon & Gary Goodspeed

Quinnary notes that might not be featured in the BFCD Reviews by Nesha:  (Quinn Ergon/Nightfall x Gary Goodspeed) rundown - 

I've had two favorite parts of this season so far and they're very mediocre things that you wouldn't think would be like my favorite part but they are. One of them was that the first thing Gary does when she wakes up is to ask her about her sister (someone obviously very important to her who he's previously promised to allow to let live through Quinn's memory and says he wants to hear about her when he's trying to keep Quinn from dying). Because... He really did care and wasn't just saying something to keep her.

Quinn's mother fucked her up in a way that is so frustrating because Black mamas really will traumatize you about their younger kids. That shit hurt. You showed your daughter dead bodies to make her think about that in the event that your other daughter might be in battle? Bitch wtf

Whenever we say that Black girls are programmed to put everybody ahead of us, that's unfortunately not just including Society, it's in households too. And Quinn comes from this place where that is her reality... Then she meets Gary and he doesn't even register for her as anything special. He doesn't appear impressive or incredible in any way... But he (admittedly) weirdly locks on to her and shares himself - thinking that he's showing himself to her, and ultimately he DOES. And he wants to see her too, beyond all this, who she is, at her most humane. He wants to know about her sister. About someone who mattered to her enough to have the helm of her trauma when she was out of touch with reality. Very soft. Very sweet.

The other was when they were talking about how they met and stuff and Gary absolutely cringed thinking about how corny he was when he approached this woman. A lot of dudes never do that. The complaint of earlier seasons that Gary was overbearing, obsessive and creepy , if you missed the fact that he has terrible abandonment issues from his father’s death and his mother’s rejection, here we have him, in his adult state, looking back at the way he was and being embarrassed about it, and that’s growth!

A close third is whenever at the beginning of the Season he says "Quinn it's been a month eventually you have to open up to me about what you've been through" and she says "I will in time" and he respects it but he reiterates that he's there whenever she needs him. I don't think that people realize how revolutionary that kind of statement is especially for a character like Quinn to hear - who has always felt like she had to take charge, had to take the lead, had to make the sacrifice.

Even when she realized that she was dying, she didn't want to burden him with the information. Not even like ‘a thing that she knew if that could help prevent it and she didn't want him to have to go after it,’ but... she didn't even want him to have to deal with knowing about it!

Maybe she thought that she would just drop, maybe she didn't realize that he was going to have to see her in that condition. And then once she realized that he was going to have to see her in that condition one of the first things she says is "I should have told you." Girl is on her deathbed wishing she had done it differently, for Gary's benefit.

I saw somebody on Twitter tried to come for her about not going to Gary after he killed Fox (you know, shortly after her surgery to save her from the very brink of death, and listen... Quinn comes to see about Gary when she can. She’s done it several times. In fact, I’ma make a whole POST about Quinn and Gary moments SPECIFICALLY to point out to haters in the main tag - where they got Quinn Ergon, and by extension, me, FUCKED UP.

Stop Playing in Quinn Face

HI! HELLO. ACTUALLY MY FAVORITE PART OF THIS SEASON IS THAT QUINN AND GARY JUST FUCKED. THANK YOU VERY MUCH. THANKS. OK. Back 2 bidness

See.. after Gary and Quinn got over the humps of Quinn’s Final Space poisoning... everyone got it... nobody told her until Avocato was mad and told her during a lash out, and let me say something about Avocato’s fucking audacity this season... 

♡ Avocato (Note: His name is A-V-O-C-A-T-O. Some of y’all be tryna stan and y’all can’t even spell his name.)

I done seent Avacata, Avocata... That’s not that dude name. Be writing whole ass expositions about some other Ventrexian n*gga. Hope this helps:

AVOCATO. Listen, boy. YOU decided to be a traitor to your people and your king and queen. YOU decided to dedicate your cause to the Lord Commander and lied to your son his entire life about killing his parents, raising him, and never talking to him about it.

Yet and STILL - whenever you had the chance to finally tell him, you ain’t do the shit. Lord Commander gave you the perfect ass opportunity - WHEN IT CAME UP, and even then, with that boy looking you dead in the face and being glad that now he knows everything... you ain’t Ventrexian man up.

Then, whenever you were supposed to be checking on Gary after his traumatic murder fight with Fox and Invictus, you turned it around and literally made it about you. attacking him in the process and only after a physical fight did you apologize. (And y’all still didn’t get back to what had happened to Gary, which was no real fault of his own). 

Fast forward to after you willingly agreed to stay behind and fight and y’all lost. Now, it was Quinn’s turn to be the center of your blame and you lashed out at her because everybody is dying, despite the fact that y’all agreed to stay behind and fight, nobody even told her that y’all were sick, AND you still wasn’t 100 with Little Cato. 

You just had a lot of mothafuckin audacity this season, Avocato, and I personally was not here for the shit. Even when Ash blasted yo ass, your main thought was to threaten to kill her if she took Little Cato, instead of assuring her that despite what you’ve done, Little Cato was safe with you. No, she wouldn’t have listened to you. But, the words you chose tell us about who you are and how you are. You a war mongering killer that don’t ever take responsibility for his shit, and even in those brief moments that you do, its always somebody else’s problem. 

I’da thunk that LC getting snatched away would be humbling for you, but I guess you were chosen by the writers for minimal growth. Bye, Avocato. Witcha bitch ass. We is not cool right now, but you do you. Hope you find some growth up there in ya ass, where ya head been. 😁 Can’t believe I mourned yo ass. You coulda stayed dead as hell.

FINALE NOTES:

OK BITCH OK THIS FINALE WAS HYPE!

Let me pull it up so that I can liveblog it for the shit that I need to conclude this journey. 

We start out after Ash done took Little Cato and burnt off. Gary and AVOCATO done said they finna go get they son. Chile, I cannot handle Biskit voice. I like that lil’ dude but ya voice, Mane. I can’t with it. 

OK OK OK... Whenever Quinn comes up to Gary to talk to him and say potential goodbyes, she look like she wanna say some and that makes me think about whenever she looked like she wanted to say something in season 1 and didn’t. Quinn as grown a lot in her feelings for Gary, but she still has that hard time with talking about her feelings, but I love that you can see them in her face.

Chile... these folk was kinda taking they time gettin started, huh? Knuckas, do y’all remember that everybody finna die of FS poisoning? Lol. Also... why didn’t they start hallucinating and shit? I guess its not until it covers ya face? 

NIGHTFALL. 😥 I love you, Sis. I miss you. But, “Because I’m you and WE think of everything...” YES. I HAVE BEEN SAYING THAT! EVERYBODY EXPECTS QUINN TO THINK OF EVERYTHING AND WHENEVER THEY DON’T THINK OF THE THINGS, SHE GETS BLAMED FOR MAKING THE TOUGH DECISIONS THAT NOBODY ELSE COULD EVEN MAKE. Underappreciated, really. And people still mark Nightfall as a villain, despite the fact that she not only sacrificed herself, but also came specifically to help another Gary. Sidenote - Nightfall didn’t actually pursuit Quinn’s Gary until Quinn was trapped in Final Space and she thought she got a signal from him. So, I’m still salty AF that she been labelled as a villain just because people don’t like her, when her actions have all been to try to help. Here is no difference. She thought of the things that she didn’t think a younger version of her would think of, and left it for Quinn to find. Nightfall be on RNS, and most of y’all didn’t deserve her.

Quinn’s identity crisis is so sad, but I liked that Nightfall EVEN thought about that. And Sheryl... you kinda starting to grow on me. I hate to give shitty mothers who find compassion in old chance a try, but she do seem to really be giving it a go. 

Ash is so fucked up that she rushes right into the devil’s arms. This reminds me of when trafficking victims go back to their abusers because they don’t have the resources to adjust in the system. 😪 She REALLY believes what she’s saying. She really feels like Little Cato is safer with Invictus with the Team Squad. That’s sad as fuck, bruh. 

THE. ACTING. AND. ARTWORK. IN. THIS. CONFRONTATION. SCENE.

Avocato... I’m proud of you for FINALLY taking responsibility ad opening up about it. Little Cato’s reaction is precisely how kids in the system are, as well. They wanna be at home with their parents, no matter who their parents are or what they’ve done. and Avocato meant what he said and did what I referred to earlier as “Ventraxian man up.”

“I’m sorry we failed you,” from Gary was so important. Because, they technically did fail her. Had Ash seen the same amount of love from Gary as she’s seen him give to others, she might have been more receptive to the truth and less susceptible to lies. But, as she had just said earlier, it was too late for kind words. She’s currently beyond accepting them from him. For a brief moment, it breaks through, but without that ability to know love from an adult properly, she can’t accept that apology right now.

H.U.E. with his big robot, Lord Commander...EYE. There’s so much happening right now bitch processing has left the room girl. Biskit did so damn much this episode. And it was good to see everybody on the team have a moment to help things, instead of like one person having to handle the bulk of things. 

Quinn’s begging voice... its such a contrast from whenever she sent out the SOS in season 1 and was afraid and angry. Like... the desperation here shows her softness. 

Ash’s RAGE Bitch...

Gary’s “I love you...” She looked so happy! And then she just sat with it. I feel like she definitely loves him too, but she doesn’t communicate that way. But, her FACE. She was just... did she think that he didn’t before, or was she just speechless because she didn’t expect to hear it? Because, we gotta be real... Sis probably has not ever heard those words from anybody before. And that first time, when it’s really there is a DOOZIE. She had an abusive mother, a seemingly jealous or competitive sister, and we saw how nobody in the Infinity Guard respected her ass when she was serving them the real. I think this is the first time she’s been in love or felt it and when Gary said it, she had to collect herself. The way she ran to him and jumped into his arms??? SHIPPING CRACK. And Mooncake was a part of their hug too. I have a lot of feelings about this dynamic since Quinn and Mooncake are the only characters that we’ve seen Gary have these “love at first sight” reactions to and Mooncake is the first character that I recall Quinn being nice to in S1. 

So.. my heart was very full when they ripped it from my chest moments later. Mooncake has been watching Team Squad members be self sacrificing for a little while now, and he loves his family and Gary so much that he rushes straight towards danger. (Sure, I don’t think that he estimated how powerful Ash could be at this moment), but he had to at least consider that he might be caught or left behind.

Bitch, Ash is GONE. She said, “Fuck all y’all!” Not knowing whether or not Mooncake is destroyed makes it very hard for me to know how much I can stand this, but I also want to hope that he is gonna survive. Quinn having to make the decision to lightfold is hella sad, but even though Gary is destroyed, he has to know that this is exactly how Ash must’ve felt whenever he had to make the call to leave Fox behind. She hated to do that to Gary. She even seemed more regretful about it than Gary did whenever he had to leave Fox and when he left Ash. Sure, its because she loves him more than he loved Fox and Ash, but its a terrible position to be in to have to hurt somebody you love like that. On the other hand, they gave her hella shit for them not escaping when could have the first time, so naturally, she was going to make this decision. 

It very much sucks that Invictus is free and my brain can’t eeem FATHOM what that means for everything and everybody, but the Final Space poisoning left the Team Squad’s system, so maybe there is a rejuvenation of some sort in Invictus’ power? Or does Final Space poisoning leave your system as soon as you leave Final Space? I don’t think that was clarified. 

Anyways, I still don’t hate Ash. Y’all can say whatever about it, but I see sad white boys get forgiven all day every day on this site, and I’m upset, but I’m not letting my baby go. I’m not cheering her on, but unless she dies, I’m gonna hope for the best for her, like I said here. 

DAMN this season was some shit. Ionknow if I’m emotionally capable of watching another season of Final Space in progress. If they make it back for another season, I will most likely just wait until the end to dive in and let them shock my senses all at once instead of on a weekly goddamn basis, because GODDAMN GODDAMN GODDDAMN!

@andromidagalaxie @daintyurbanprincess @shslargue @space-finally​  The Quinnary Moments Masterlist probably won’t be ready by Quinn’s birthday, since her birthday is the day before Juneteenth, but I’ve started on a little fic that I might have the first installment of posted by then. We shall see. 

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

Here is my JOURNEY during my first watch of the first two seasons of the show. (I watched Season 3 in progress and waited until it was over to write up this review) and my probably incoherent tag of whenever I do me a lil’ liveblogging: Nesha Watches Final Space, and here is my review on Quinnary: BFCD Reviews by Nesha: (Quinn Ergon/Nightfall x Gary Goodspeed) FINAL SPACE

#Final Space #BFCD Reviews by Nesha #Nesha Watches Final Space #Nesha Watches #Quinn Ergon #Quinn Ergon commentary #Final Space season 3 #Final Space spoilers #long post

[jasontoddiefor]

As Lightning to the Children eased Chapter 14

Chapter 14 is out! Read on AO3!

Padmé did not call Anakin out when she found him hiding in her living room, arms tugged beneath his knees, his chin resting on top of them. He didn’t look like he had gotten any sleep lately and she was not about to stop him from getting at least some rest.

Instead, he merely put a cup of tea in his hands and went about her work. Halfway through midday, she got the call she had been waiting for.

“Senator Organa,” she greeted her ally and friend. Bail Organa was a good man, friendly and charming on top, and Padmé wondered what would happen if she were to let him meet Obi-Wan sometime. The two seemed like the kind of people who’d get along like a house on fire. “How are you?”

“Quite well, thank you,” Bail replied. He glanced at Anakin once but didn’t further react to his presence. “And yourself?”

“Exhausted, if I’m honest,” Padmé said. “The war hasn’t even truly started and I already feel as if I’ve aged years, but let’s not linger on that. How is your charge?”

“Adjusting,” Bail said. “I offered to take him home to Breha, but he decided that he wanted to stay on Coruscant. I’m not sure whether it’s the proximity to the Jedi or if it’s because he has to protect me in turn for keeping him safe, but I decided it would be beneficial for his health to remain at my side.”

Padmé smiled at him, honestly and truly happy. “I’m relieved to hear that.”

Finally, some good news during this catastrophe. When the Jedi had taken them all back to Coruscant, nobody had been too sure what to do with little Boba Fett. Technically speaking, his father – no matter how undeserving Padmé thought him of the title – was a deceased criminal and there were enough people who wanted Boba to pay for his father’s crimes. Hi status as a clone also didn’t really improve his situation. Padmé would have taken Boba in himself, as would the Jedi, but neither was quite the right fit, and when Bail Organa had offered to take him in, then that was just good fortune.

“If you ever need someone to babysit, I can jump in last minute,” Padmé joked.

Bail smiled and nodded. “I’ll be sure to keep that in mind, Padmé, but I believe Boba would protest quite heavily against being babysitted.”

“He can be part of my protective detail then,” she amended. “I’m sure he will do excellent work.”

X

The Council room was dead silent.

“You’re joking, aren’t you?” Qui-Gon asked, allowing disbelief to seep into his voice.

Whereas some of his fellow Masters smiled in tired exhaustion, others only rolled their eyes.

“A new member this Council needs,” Yoda said. “Wise in the Living Force you are and raised a brilliant Padawan you did. A new member of this Council you may be if you accept.”

Qui-Gon wondered what Dooku would say about this. His Master had already departed with his own clone battalion, heading straight to the Outer Rim and into the zones that promised the most gruesome battles. Dooku was a brilliant talker and given his relationship with the Senate, he’d probably be more useful on the Council than Qui-Gon. He had already been on the Council once.

Qui-Gon knew he was stubborn and thick-headed and unlikely to change his mind unless proven wrong. Both Dooku and Obi-Wan had told and shown him so often enough. Qui-Gon wasn’t chosen for delicate and amicable peace talks. He usually went to do the negotiations where they expected things to blow up, and more often than not, they did.

He was not the best option for a War Council, especially when he struggled to wield the Force as he used to.

“Why me?” he finally asked when he didn’t know what other question there was left to voice.

“Love this Order more than anyone else, you do. Had Knight and Padawan Skywalker not found their way here, found your way to them, you would have. Listen well to the world, you do. Not afraid to speak your words, you are. Ready for this, you are.”

Not yet. Speak first. Right a wrong, my dear child, explain your scars—

“I have to talk to Anakin,” Qui-Gon said, his heart hurting at the thought of the youth, yet rejoicing at finally getting a glimpse of the Force again. “I cannot give you an answer before I spoke to him.”

The Masters nodded and Qui-Gon left.

X

Anakin was easy to find, hiding away in one of the lowest accessible levels of the temple. These days, he was either at Obi-Wan’s sickbed when Obi-Wan was asleep, at his mother’s when she wasn’t telling him to finally go talk to Obi-Wan, hiding away in Padmé’s apartments or down here. Qui-Gon had first thought that Anakin would try to go deeper, search for what lingered beneath the warm marble of their temple, but he never moved from his spot.

“Anakin.”

The Padawan winced when his name was called, then slowly turned his head only to return to staring blankly at his hands. He looked absolutely miserable, tired too. Qui-Gon sighed.

“Do you remember the mission to Naboo? When we accompanied Padmé back to it?”

Anakin gave no sign that he was listening to Qui-Gon, but he decided to keep talking anyway. “When we entered the ship, you collapsed. Something set you off, something incredibly dark and harmful, and, best I could tell, it flipped a switch for you. Revealed something it shouldn’t have.”

Anakin’s hands curled to fists as Qui-Gon sat down next to him. “Obi-Wan and I didn’t know what to do, so we- no, I decided to do what I thought was best. I blocked those memories, dressed them up in kinder images.”

Even now, so many years later, Qui-Gon remembered it so clearly. The chains wrapped around Anakin’s entire body, the sun burning him, reminding him that he was not supposed to be there.

“And then, when you tried to heal me later on, you needed the knowledge that I had hidden from you to do better.”

“To let you die, you mean,” Anakin said. His voice was hoarse as if he hadn’t spoken in days. “It would have stopped me from resurrecting you.”

“Yes,” Qui-Gon agreed. “I would have died and it would have been alright because it was my time. My actions took away something you should be able to recognize subconsciously and I want to apologize for it.”

Silence followed Qui-Gon’s statement as they let his words linger. It was true. That he realized now. Whatever he had done, it had shifted something within Anakin that wasn’t meant to be shifted sideways.

“I think you made me human,” Anakin replied, wings unfurling as bones cracked. “I don’t think I was meant to be human.”

His eyes were still closed, but Qui-Gon could still fill all of them watching him, waiting for a reaction, a confirmation.

“No, you were not,” Qui-Gon replied. “And I’m sorry I made you something you weren’t supposed to be in my fear of what you might have become in that moment.”

“I want to be human,” Anakin muttered. He stretched out his fingers, sharp claws, golden like his teeth, bleeding as if from scratching his arms raw, trying to dissect himself and sew his flesh back together in the right way, anything less hurtful. “I don’t want to be like this. Everything is so loud and I’m always too much and if I get angry, I break the world apart. It isn’t fair that I can feel so much, but I’m not allowed to embrace it.”

“Oh, Anakin.” All thoughts of logically expressing this to his Grandpadawan were forgotten. “Who told you that you can’t embrace your emotions? You just can’t let them become too much. You can’t let them consume you. You need to find your balance again.”

Qui-Gon knew it was a cruel demand to make when he had been so afraid of what would become of Anakin almost a decade ago now. There was no telling whether Anakin would still exist once he found that balance again or whether he’d return to his silent parent. After all, what parent would abandon their child if not because they knew they weren’t needed anymore?

“I’m scared,” Anakin admitted. “I was afraid my mother would be put back together again wrongly if I healed her so I lashed out and murdered all of them in cold blood and then I was scared to lose Obi-Wan and instead he lost his arm because of me and I’m scared that if I try to fix me, I won’t be me at all. I know I can do it. I’ve been looking, I can see where you used your paint on me, but I just—”

Anakin looked up, bright blue eyes staring at Qui-Gon as he cried and wrapped his arms around him, hiding his face in his robes.

“I don’t know what to do.”

Gently, Qui-Gon held onto Anakin. How strange that a being as bright and strong as him needed an anchor as fragile as Qui-Gon. He ran his fingers through Anakin’s hair, humming a melody under his breath he’d been taught years ago on a small Mid Rim planet.

Minutes passed, hours without either of them moving until Anakin’s shoulders stopped trembling.

“I can’t tell you what the right path is, Anakin. You have to decide that for yourself. The only advice I can give you is this question: do you love the Jedi?”

“What?” Anakin’s confusion was painted across his face in broad brushstrokes.

Qui-Gon smiled. “I asked if you loved the Jedi?”

“Of course! You’re my home, my family! How could I not?”

“Good.” Qui-Gon nodded. “Then you will remind yourself of the fact that you love your family and that your family loves you every day and every action you take will be in this knowledge. Do not act against this love in your heart, Anakin, and may it ease the burden on your mind.”

May it guide you well.

X

Obi-Wan’s hand trembled. He hardly had any control over his new appendage and it frustrated him to no end. He was a perfectionist at heart, had spent hours training his fine motor control to become a Master of his form. He tried to keep his breathing under control, to focus, and not let the pain overwhelm him. If not for his own sake and to resist the temptation of just throwing his lightsaber halfway across the room, then for Anakin.

His Padawan already felt so guilty for Obi-Wan’s injury, he didn’t want to make him feel worse.

He couldn’t stand the thought of looking at Anakin’s sad eyes.

“Rough night?”

Obi-Wan turned his head around to find Shmi standing at the entrance of the training hall. Her injuries had healed well during her stay with the Healers, only a few faint scars across her face and shoulders revealing what she had been through. She was dressed ready for battle, wearing the new armor the Jedi had been given. Obi-Wan had tried it on once and immediately wished he could message Satine and ask her whether he could borrow one of hers for the war. Mandalorian armor was so much more comfortable.

Not that he thought the Jedi should wear any at all.

“Are you shipping out?” he asked.

“Yes, Dooku asked for backup. Apparently, he’s been dealing with a Sith apprentice – a different one than the one you encountered on Geonosis – and intends to chase her down. Someone must take over his battalion. Since he dragged me back home from Tatooine, I’ll return the favor.”

“Take Anakin with you,” Obi-Wan heard himself say. “He needs to get out of the temple.”

“You haven’t talked yet,” Shmi stated, her tone not allowing for any disagreement.

“No,” Obi-Wan agreed. “And I don’t think Anakin will talk to me as long as he hasn’t gotten a proper break. So, please?”

Shmi studied him for a moment, then she sighed. “Alright, but the moment you’re fit for duty, he’s your Padawan again.”

Obi-Wan managed to crack a smile at that. “Of course, I’d never trade him for another.”

#star wars #anakin skywalker #obi wan kenobi #qui gon jinn #shmi skywalker #fanfic

[magicalforcesau]

Dancing With Ghosts in Your Garden~ Chapter 22 - Year 2: June

(ao3 link)

Qui-Gon Jinn’s funeral had been a somber affair populated by an extraordinary assortment of people that hastily filled the simple wooden seats that decorated the field just beside Hogwarts. Most of whom, Obi-Wan Kenobi found he did not know, but each seemed set on honoring the man who lay peacefully at the hearth of the pyre that had yet to burn. It had been his wish to be buried at Hogwarts, where he dedicated himself entirely and touched so many lives in the process. Obi-Wan wasn’t surprised to realize this, but it made it harder to forgive himself as his other professors insisted he must. He couldn’t help but feel that he had failed all of these strangers, who did nothing to warrant losing such a renowned wizard before his time.

Of course, he was also surrounded by those he knew. His parents weren’t in attendance, but most affluent families of the pureblood community weren’t. He hadn’t even bothered to tell them he was going, though surely they’d learn soon enough since mortality was not enough to ward off the influence of the press. He found he did not care either way.

Anakin sat to his left and Satine to his right with Cody and his whole line of brothers on her other side. Her hand had never left his, serving the necessary purpose of grounding him during the ceremony. Otherwise, he wasn’t positive he’d stay lucid during the various speeches commemorating Qui-Gon and that only would have been another stab of guilt for him to resurrect later.

There was not a dry eye in sight for each professor’s traditional tribute to their fallen colleague and friend, save for Obi-Wan and the daze he found himself trapped in. Professor Ti went on about his caring and inquisitive nature through his rants about muggle objects, while Professor Sifo Dyas rambled about a time Qui-Gon had saved him from the Whomping Willow. Professor Plo reminisced about their shared love of tea and Professor Palpatine on his determination and wit to finish crossword puzzles. Professor Windu’s had been surprisingly warm and heartfelt despite his typical tendency to disagree with Qui-Gon on a daily basis. It seemed, in the end, that's why they got along so well. They accepted their misgivings and their differences.

It was a tranquil first day of June- neither too hot nor chilly with its wide display of clear sky that met somewhere in the middle with the black lake to create one expanse of blue in the center of the horizon. The emerald grass that stretched over the hills like a snug blanket coupled with the soft chirping of birds in the distance made for it to all be picturesque at face value. It all felt balanced.

Headmaster Yoda, who was welcomed back almost immediately by demand of the entire staff and student body, stood with a lit torch at hand that even from his row, Obi-Wan could see the deep sadness that reflected in his eyes as he stared at the flickering flames.

“Student, colleague, friend of mine… Qui-Gon Jinn was.” Yoda’s deep brogue seemed to rumble in his little green chest more than usual as his words seemed caught in his throat. His long ears dipped down as he cast his eyes across the sea of people who sat with bated breath over what the Headmaster would say in tribute of the man that still lay untouched by anything except the sun. “Miss him, I will.”

Everyone could resonate with that.

“But gone, he is not.” He said finally, “Lives, his spirit and message do. In all of us, we must find him. In class, at home, in our hearts. Never far do the dead go, not when they leave so many of us behind. Sad, we will be, for a space there is left.”

Everyone’s attention was directed to the ceremonial empty golden chair that was positioned at the front of the field next to Mace Windu, Shaak Ti, and Sheev Palpatine.

“Fight til the end, he did, and do the same we must, every day. In class, at home, in our hearts. Fight to maintain and sustain the light he cast, we must.” He raised the tip of the torch to the wood at the edge of the pyre and quickly, it was engulfed in flames, “Burn, the fire and spirit of his life will for all of eternity. Keep us warm, it will, as well as guide us in times of darkness that lie ahead.”

Without any choreography indicating otherwise, Mace Windu stood to his feet and raised his wand, casting a small white glow at the tip. As if sensing the need to highlight such a gesture, a singular cloud hovered over the bright sun that would otherwise drown out any other light. The other two Heads of House followed suit as well as Yoda in tow. The audience, with a domino effect, each individually raised their wands triumphantly.

Obi-Wan felt a tug on the sleeve of his other arm and looked down to meet the glassy eyes of Anakin Skywalker.

“What happens to me now?” He asked quietly, hardly above the wisp of wind that fluttered across the grassland.

“You will still become a wizard, I swear.” Obi-Wan said with more sincerity than he likely had any right giving, “I’ll look out for you.”

While it wasn’t an answer on where he would be at the official close of the school year, it seemed to placate him enough to silence any further questions for the time being. This was just as well to Obi-Wan, who was content with the agonizing silence that had come over the crowd and allowed him not to face anymore people that he’d failed.

He did his best to beat the crowd back to the castle, even slipping from Satine and Cody, who were talking to Cody’s older brothers. While he liked the presence of the Fett’s, Obi-Wan was not in the mood to entertain.

In his aimless grief, he’d wound up at Qui-Gon’s office, which was poignant to say the least. As he ran a hand across his desk and glanced up at the array of books that filled the shelf across from him, he absently wondered how often he’d come here when he felt he was drowning too deeply in his own thoughts. How often had the man, who now had his own commemorative portrait near the Great Hall, saved him from himself? And what would he say now?

No answer from Obi-Wan would be sufficient, so he left the internal thought untouched and opted to sift through the book that still sat open on his desk. He promised himself he’d leave it just as he found it in some convoluted attempt at preserving his final quiet moments, but was curious what he’d been reading.

It was a yearbook from while Qui-Gon was at school. The page had been opened to a bunch of class pictures, which true to form with anything in their community, the pictures were moving. Most concerning, was that Maul was on this page, bearing all of his teeth during his photograph in a way that a canine might exert dominance. It probably should have been jarring to see a picture of the man he’d murdered in defense of Obi-Wan’s de facto father figure, but all Obi-Wan could feel was an unsteady sadness.

Qui-Gon would not want him to feel hate or hold a grudge. Maul was gone and wouldn’t hurt anyone ever again and that was the point Qui-Gon would fixate on.

If everything was supposed to be balanced, why did Obi-Wan feel so unsteady?

“I should have known I’d find you here.” Satine’s voice instantly interrupted his thoughts.

He tried to manage a shrug, “Just catching up on some light reading.”

As she practically glided across the floor towards him, Obi-Wan admired her, even in his dismal state, and how put together she always managed to look. She, like him and most others, wore all black. In her case, a long sleeve black skater-dress with matching floral stockings and shiny flat shoes. Her hair was half-up and half-down in long blonde tresses that curled in sweet waves down the length of her back. He wasn’t sure if it was the contrast from the darkness of her outfit or the fact that she’d been crying earlier, but her eyes had never looked so piercingly blue before this moment.

She rested a hand on the back of the chair at which he sat and peered over his shoulder. He could feel her tense beside him, but could do nothing to offer any real condolence other than a shared look of sympathy.

“It was sitting open on his desk.” He answered her silent question, “Do you think they knew each other? Beyond what he’s said in the past, that is.”

“If he was searching for answers in a yearbook, I find it doubtful that it was a close bond.” She said and lifted the book to catch the year, “Qui-Gon was only a second year when Maul was in sixth.”

That was the same age gap between Obi-Wan and Anakin. Unsure why that thought floored him so, Obi-Wan forced himself to remain focused on the facts at hand.

“This is the year Maul killed that girl.”

“The only minor to ever be convicted of first-degree murder in the history of the Wizengamot.” She said quietly and while he first thought he was just hearing things, he couldn’t help but notice how her voice caught on convicted as if there were others gone untouched by the trenches of history. Maybe there had been, but the sullen look on her face as she stared down at the young picture of Qui-Gon distracted him once again. He certainly didn’t see it fit to remind her that Maul hadn’t actually been caught and tossed away until years after he was convicted.

“We always used to come here for answers.” She said and she leaned on the edge of the desk, taking in the entirety of the classroom as though for the last time, “And often left with more questions. I suppose it’s only right this mystery not be completely put to bed.”

“And you’re alright with that?” He asked, unsure if he was asking for himself or for her.

She breathed out a sigh, “What choice do we have on the matter?”

She had a point. It wouldn’t change anything. The heaviness in Obi-Wan’s chest felt nearly unbearable for that moment, but he sucked in a breath and walked around the desk to join her. They sat so close they were nearly touching, but not quite. In a way, he never felt farther from her.

“Qui-Gon always said that a curious mind was a happy one.” He pointed out.

“But we must be careful which avenue we point our questions,” She countered without a trace of bite to her tone, “And decide when it’s wisest to ask them. Or if it’s wise at all.”

“If we do everything with the intent of being wise, then that negates all wisdom.” He debated and similar to her, lacked any momentum.

“But at some point,” Satine turned to look at him, “You need to ask yourself if you’re searching or deflecting.”

“That’s not something Qui-Gon ever said.” He whispered, simultaneously afraid to continue staring at her and to look away.

“No, but perhaps he needed to.” She said just as quietly and considered him under a scrutiny that instinctively made him shift, “You haven’t even cried since it happened.”

“I’m not much for crying.” And even as he said it, he knew he sounded like a cardboard cutout of a person rather than his true self.

“Well nobody likes crying, Ben.” She shook her head, “But mourning loss is a necessary part of life. It’s not healthy to bottle everything up inside.”

Obi-Wan could think of a floor-length list of emotions that have been welled up inside him for quite some time- some good and some bad, but all gone unexplored beyond what crept into his dreams at night.

“I know.” He said stiffly and diverted his attention to the floor, “But I’ve got bigger things to worry about than my feelings right now, Satine. Anakin is essentially homeless now since they’ve still yet to find his mother.”

“I heard the promise you made him.” She said.

“And I intend to keep it!” He asserted harshly, standing to his feet and putting some distance between them, “I promised Qui-Gon.”

“What?” She asked, sliding off the desk, but staying in place.

“After the Maul fight,” He breathed in, trying to ground himself from trembling at the thought of the memory, “His dying words were that I promise to look after Anakin. That he will save us all!”

Though his vision was becoming slightly blurry as he regarded Satine, the overwhelming sadness in her eyes as she stared at him openly without barring any of her feelings was what made him feel suddenly as though he’d been shoved underwater.

“I’m not sure who that puts more pressure on.” She said hoarsely, “You or Anakin.”

“You can’t tell Anakin this.” He said, “He’s got enough on his plate.”

“Yeah, he’s not the only one.” She admonished and stepped across the room to stand before him. Even if he wanted to back away from her, he knew he couldn’t.

“I’m fine.” He said softly, if only to appease the worry that worked its way between her brow.

“No you’re not.” She insisted as she drew closer, “And nobody expects you to be.”

“I have to.” He croaked, “Anakin-”

“-Needs you, I know.” She said, but although she admitted what he had previously insisted, he knew it never came without a caveat, “But you need people too, because you lost someone very dear to you.”

He opened his mouth and closed it, but found he didn’t really want to reject what she was saying, not when her tentative hands reached up and pulled him into a hug that felt like coming home. Or at least, what he imagined that was supposed to feel like.

He rested his chin on her shoulder as the embrace continued and released a sigh as he finally put to words what troubled him most, “I feel like I failed him.”

“I know.” It wasn’t dismissive in the slightest either, but as though she truly had known all along that this was what raked his mind at the late hours of the night since the moment his former mentor fell before him. It was because of how resolute she sounded that he started to believe her when she said, “You didn’t.”

After a long beat of just floating like that, he finally pulled back to look at her. Her arms were still hung over his shoulders and the gaze she fixed him with was still of concern, but it no longer felt like an intrusion. It just felt natural.

“Thank you.” He said a bit awkwardly, because what else did one say in this instance?

She smoothed out his suit whether he needed it or not and loosened his tie a bit, “That’s what friends are for.”

For a brief second, he remembered what he wanted to tell her before and the slight escape of emotional vulnerability was almost enough to send it soaring out of him. However, the remorse that still clung to them in this room felt like the wrong place and the wrong time for such a confession. Nothing like that should be tinged with sadness.

One way or another, they silently ended up sitting next to each other on Qui-Gon’s desk again, this time with legs touching. His remained still while hers swung forwards and backwards.

He took her hand gently, stirring her from her own heavy thoughts, “Headmaster Yoda asked that I help sort through some of Qui-Gon’s stuff. Closure and all that.”

She sniffed, but didn’t quite give way to any tears, “That’s a lot just for one person.”

“I’d be open to a little help.” He said, hoping she would take the bait.

She did, “Someone has to keep you from breaking everything.”

He scoffed, “That was one time.”

“And he never knew.” She said.

“Oh, he definitely knew.” He snorted, “Knowing him, he always knew.”

Qui-Gon Jinn knew a lot about many things and had passed on as much knowledge as time allotted to the very fortunate Obi-Wan Kenobi. Every silly and simple trinket seemed to evoke some piece of wisdom from the deceased wizard, but one that seemed louder than the rest came when Obi-Wan’s eyes drifted to a sprig of mistletoe that was held under a glass display- enchanted to never wither.

“You need to live your life.”

Satine leaned her head on his shoulder, “I’m going to miss quarreling with you in this office.”

He chuckled, “Something tells me the next professor in here won’t be quite as accepting of our constant intrusions.”

“We’ll have to find another space to rip each other apart,” She sighed wistfully, “The next professor has big shoes to fill.”

“Yeah,” He snorted, “Literally and metaphorically.”

“I’ll miss him.”

He nodded against her head, “Me too.”

“There you lot are!” Cody’s voice echoed abruptly through the corridor, startling both Obi-Wan and Satine away from each other in earnest. Off of this reaction, their friend grinned wryly. “I just came to tell you the food is out! I’ve never seen such a spread before in my life.”

“Thank you, Cody.” Obi-Wan chuckled and it actually felt legitimate for the first time in days, “What ever would we do without you?”

“Get into more trouble, I’m guessing.” He said, but his features softened a bit as he looked at the two of them, “Everything alright?”

Satine smiled lightly and tugged Obi-Wan by the hand out the door, which was for the best, seeing as he would never leave without her gentle prodding, and linked her other hand with Cody’s. “We will be.”

And that was an answer Obi-Wan could deal with. He only looked back once at Qui-Gon’s now vacant office, but settled his stare straight ahead and allowed himself to sink into the idle and comforting chatter that his friends naturally engaged in. He felt Satine squeeze his hand as they approached the Great Hall, as though silently asking if he was ready to face the masses and he returned the gesture in kind.

The rest of his life started today.

***

Anakin was told on numerous occasions by countless individuals that it would do him some good- being outside and enjoying the fresh air. Objectively, it was a gorgeous and quiet day, but any of its beauty was lost on Anakin as he pondered the growing uncertainty of his future. First, it had been his mom and his entire world had been shaken. The only pieces that had been slid into place was that he was to continue attending school at Hogwarts thanks to Qui-Gon. However, with no one to care for him and a strict policy against allowing students to stay for the summer, even that was laid to dust as well as someone who became important to Anakin in a short period of time.

He kicked a stray pebble as he walked the courtyard. It felt strange to linger around the grounds of the school without fear or risk. In a sense, it felt like the entire year was lost to Maul. And worst of all, he never did get the closure he desired on the whereabouts of his mother.

He tightened a fist and stared at the horizon. Repairs for the exterior to Hogwarts were still ongoing after Qui-Gon’s funeral. The bridge at which Maul fell was still sectioned off as it was deemed unstable and still being used for the purpose of investigations. No one tried to walk it anyway. The canyon beneath was already developing rumors of being haunted since a body had yet to be recovered.

Anakin was beginning to understand that no scary story could be worse than what he was living. Obi-Wan was, of course, hovering like he feared Anakin would go throw himself off the tip of the castle and dance around the topic that lingered above them. He’d made a promise to ensure Anakin would be a wizard and continue going to Hogwarts- a promise that Anakin knew he had no business making, but still held onto. What other hope did he have, after?

The kids who he believed were once his friends and then turned on him- Ferus Olin and Jax Pavan to name a couple- now looked at him with such pity that they didn’t even warrant him safe for teasing. Even Sebulba was laying off of him!

And it was more infuriating than anything else. He just wanted something to be mad at, to lash this growing fury that was rising in his throat like bile. He wanted someone to blame and he didn’t even have a clear answer to that. He’d seen Maul enter his house, but his mother had already been gone. Whatever disaster he caused had been after she left.

He shivered.

No, that wasn’t right. Taken. She would never leave Anakin willingly, even if someone wanted him to believe that.  Maul had no reason to lie about taking his mother, not when he so freely killed two of Anakin’s professors and wanted to do the same to him. That left Dooku, essentially, as people who wanted Anakin to suffer. The slimy former professor operated almost purely in deceit and would surely love for Maul to take a fall for his crimes. He’d been training Ventress on how to sneak attack Anakin all year and thankfully, she was terrible at her job or else it might have worked.

He’d let it get into his head that as the Chosen One, he was unstoppable and maybe that was true to a degree, but all it seemed to do was mow down the people he loved. But then, when he tried to go at it alone, people still suffered. Was this not escapable?

He toyed with the necklace still in the pockets of his robes. Did anything he did make a difference? Or was Qui-Gon right about being at will of the fates? It was an awful lot for a 12 year old to take, though he realized with disarming clarity that he was to be 13 in only two weeks’ time. It would be the first year he’d have no one to celebrate with.

“Sorry if I’m interrupting,” A pacifying voice disturbed his increasingly dark line of thoughts and he was relieved to turn and see Professor Palpatine’s kind eyes looking down at him.

“No, I was just thinking,” He shrugged, “I don’t mind a break.”

He knew under more pleasant circumstances, one of his friends would make a joke about how he usually was on vacation from thinking, but the unspoken jest fell flat. Palpatine gathered the front of his robes as he took a seat on the nearby ledge and patted the spot next to him for Anakin to follow suit.

“I wanted to apologize if it’s felt like I’ve distanced myself from you during such a difficult time. I wanted to offer you the time to properly mourn,” He said and then fixed him with a look that Anakin had grown familiar with over the past semester, “I understand you and Qui-Gon were quite close.”

“Yeah,” Anakin said.

“And it is to my understanding that you haven’t been very vocal with the mind healers that Headmaster Yoda has set you up with.”

No, he hadn’t been. He didn’t even know those people! How was he supposed to bear his heart and soul over losing two very important people in his life? How was he supposed to reconcile that with strangers? Moreover, they would surely judge him for the creeping eeriness that lingered at the perimeter of his heart.

“They wouldn’t understand.” He said, not caring for a moment how helpless that made him sound, “Obi-Wan can talk to them. He’s the one who got to do something about Qui-Gon’s death while I was locked inside the Room of Requirement.”

Palpatine’s eyes sparkled with curiosity, “I did hear that you managed to discover it…”

“Everyone’s been asking me where, but I don’t even know! It just popped up in front of me one moment.”

“You have every right to be quite angry,” Palpatine said, “I’m sure it hasn’t been easy around here for you. Losing not one, but two people in the span of a year would cause anyone, let alone someone as young as yourself, immeasurable grief.”

That wasn’t even factoring in Professor Fisto’s death, which felt a little callous to Anakin.

“And I could understand why you might be upset with everyone, including Qui-Gon Jinn, himself.”

Anakin’s head snapped to Palpatine at his words, mostly because of the gnawing clarity at which they resonated with Anakin’s deepest and darkest thoughts, “Why would I be mad at him?”

“Search your feelings, Anakin,” Palpatine said gently, “You know what I say is true. It’s not something many, even the healers, would understand, because while Qui-Gon did die fighting to protect this school and you, he still left a vacancy at his own misstep.”

Being mad at someone for dying also felt incredibly callous, but Anakin didn’t grow rash or angry at this explanation but somehow… Validated. He loved and cared for Qui-Gon and appreciated everything he did, but in the end, a promise was still broken and Anakin was alone.

“I’m not here to sugarcoat anything,” Palpatine continued, “I don’t believe friends should do that.”

Anakin didn’t think so either, which was part of what was so infuriating about these past couple of weeks. Everyone was trying to be nice, but he was only feeling the lack of authenticity at their smiles that didn’t reach their eyes and their empty promises of support. He’d heard it all before at this point. Now, honesty, regardless of if it hurt, sounded appealing.

“Obi-Wan hasn’t told me exactly how it happened.” Anakin revealed with a heavy sigh.

His professor quirked a white eyebrow, “Understandably, he might never tell anyone, but we can draw the conclusion that Maul got the best of Qui-Gon somehow.”

“I just don’t get it.” Anakin sighed heavily, “Qui-Gon was so invested in the future and the knowledge around it. It seemed like he knew everything.”

“Sometimes adults allow students to perceive their strengths in an amplified matter to give them hope,” He said, “I’ve never believed in doing such a thing.”

Anakin nodded, “It’s felt like everyone’s been doing that all year. At the end of it all, it was a kid who took out Maul.”

“Yes, but not on accident, Anakin,” Palpatine shrugged, “You of all people should understand that a person’s age and stature should have no bearing on how they’re estimated. In the end, young Obi-Wan had something that Qui-Gon did not.”

“What’s that?”

“Obi-Wan was willing to do it.” Palpatine said, “To take that step across the line of light and dark. It’s a careful one to walk, but he acted out of revenge and surely channeled some of his hate and anguish to do so.”

“And that makes you more powerful?”

“When properly used, yes.” Palpatine said, “Qui-Gon never believed in utilizing emotion in magic. He felt it deluded oneself. Dooku taught him that though…”

“And you taught Maul, who was only emotion, so which is right?” Anakin ran a hand through his hair. It was impossible to deny that the anger that Obi-Wan felt and the heartbreak of watching Qui-Gon die surely gave him a boost in power. What was described sounded like something he could never picture regular old Obi-Wan doing on his own.

“Maybe we can discover that together?” Palpatine asked tentatively, “You lost a guardian and I lost a student, regardless of the polarized intentions they had.”

Anakin nodded, “Just as long as I don’t turn out like Maul.”

“No, I don’t think you will, my boy,” Palpatine chuckled, “I don’t think you will be anything remotely like Maul.”

Anakin smiled as he looked up and over at Palpatine. It was a beautiful day and maybe, just maybe, he’d make something of it.

***

Although Obi-Wan couldn’t discount the somber atmosphere that still hovered over the school, it felt a little whiplashing how quickly everyone was to move past the attack on the school and the death of Qui-Gon Jinn. He supposed no one else had, had a front row seat to watch their favorite professor be stabbed right in front of them. Today however, it was almost like the whole thing hadn’t happened at all. It was the final Quidditch match of the year, the previous game, while incomplete, had been handed over to Slytherin per Hufflepuff’s surrender. The Great Hall was filled with excited chattering and enthusiastic yelling. The attention was off of him at least, many hadn’t stopped bothering him for all the gruesome details since the attack, but the excitement in the room made him feel like he was suffocating.

“Perhaps, I’ve ought to go get ready,” He bounced his fork between his fingers as he spared a glance at the doors, “It’s almost time to leave anyways.”

“Ben...” Satine frowned at him. He knew she was concerned, but she was polite enough not to bring it up.

“Right on, mate,” Cody came up behind them, a hand landing on each of their shoulders, “Early bird catches the worm and all that,” The Gryffindor captain wasn’t as eager as he normally would be. Between the attack and how far Gryffindor was down for the Quidditch cup, it was only his love of the sport that kept him optimistic at all.

“I’m not playing today,” Obi-Wan said as he straightened his silverware. Satine seemed to relax at the news while Cody's eyes widened.

“What? You sure?” He asked and Satine shot him a warning look, “Nothing gets my mind off things like being up in the air,” He shrugged, defending his point.

“I’m sure,” Obi-Wan just nodded, “I’d prefer my feet on the ground at the moment,” The last time they hadn’t been was when he’d been dangling off the side of the bridge.

“Well, alright,” Cody relented easily and offered instead, “Wanna walk down with us?”

His eyes caught sight of Anakin lingering in the doorway waiting for Cody, or maybe himself. So he rose from his spot at the table easily.

“You could always sit with me if you want too,” Satine let him know as she blew softly on her tea to cool it down.

“I’ll be expected to be on the benches,” Even if the thought was tempting, “I’ll see you afterwards? Studying?”

Satine nodded at the same time Cody mumbled, “When on earth are you doing anything else?”

He felt Satine’s eyes followed him all the way out the door.

Cody filled the silence with Quidditch tips as the three of them trailed after the Gryffindor team down to the pitches. Anakin had been a little quiet lately, so Obi-Wan was grateful that he had plenty of people surrounding him from his own house. He was sure that the Fett’s and even Padmé likely didn’t let Anakin wallow.

“I’ll try not to knock you out Obi-Wan,” Anakin announced after Cody had finished a rather long spiel of Quidditch related injuries from the past 10 years, “I’ve been told I hit pretty hard.”

He certainly wasn’t lying and as he continued to grow, Obi-Wan was quite sure he would only be stronger, “I think hitting a benched player is considered a foul.”

“It is,” Cody confirmed, but Anakin stopped walking just as they got to the edge of the pitch.

“They benched you?”

“I asked not to play,” Obi-Wan only paused in his stride when Cody did. Anakin’s gaze flicked between the two of them rapidly. Although Obi-Wan wasn’t sure what was going on in his head, he was clearly thinking through a few things.

“Should I- Maybe I shouldn’t play either,” Anakin said slowly, “I mean...” He trailed off, clearly thinking. Cody crossed his arms tightly, clearly not liking the idea of his star player being benched, but not willing to deny the request if he was asked.

“Anakin,” Obi-Wan sighed grandly. It was so obvious to him that Anakin would enjoy the distraction. Much like Cody, Anakin clearly revered flying as it would likely allow him to clear his head and to work towards a simple goal, “You should play.”

“But I-” Anakin turned, just enough to look off towards where Qui-Gon’s funeral had been held and Obi-Wan tried not to flinch at the thought.

“I’ve never liked Quidditch,” He reminded his mentee, “And although I take pride in my position on the team, they do not need me today,” Nahdar Vebb would do fine just as he always did, “Your team, however, does need you if they have a chance of winning,” Anakin stood a little taller at the thought, looking towards Cody for confirmation.

“Well, it’s always going to be easier with you-” Obi-Wan cut his friend off before he could continue.

“If you really don’t feel like playing I’m sure Cody will find a substitute for you...”

Anakin hesitated, “It’s not that I don’t want to play-”

“If you want to then you should,” He stepped forward, putting his hands on Anakin’s shoulders. Qui-Gon’s final request seemed to echo around in his head, but he ignored it as best as he could, “You’re a fantastic Beater, Anakin. One of the best Hogwarts has seen in my time here,” Anakin’s eyes were watching him, wide, impressionable. Obi-Wan was reminded once again just how young he was, “Ravenclaw will be playing a clean game today. I’m not going to let you in on our strategy, obviously,” He shot a short, pointed look to Cody, “But Gryffindor is going to need all the help they can get.”

“Oh yeah? You’re going down! A lion would eat your bloody bird for breakfast!” Cody caught on to the energy and Anakin shook off Obi-Wan’s hands to go join him.

“Yeah your team has no chance against us!” He had perked up significantly.

“I’d think a raven could outsmart a lion,” Obi-Wan shrugged playfully, “Guess you’ll just have to prove it.”

“Oh we will!” Anakin called as he resumed a swift walk towards Gryffindor’s locker room, “You’ll see.”

“See ya after the game mate,” Cody threw one last wave at Obi-Wan before heading swiftly after the second year.

Obi-Wan shook his head. For now, Anakin was easy to motivate. He could only hope the boy would keep some of that enthusiasm in his later years. He moved to walk towards his team’s locker room when a shadow fell over him.

“How interesting,” Obi-Wan turned slowly to meet the narrowed eyes of his parents, “Lying to your friends in Gryffindor house,” She smiled down at him, but it never reached her eyes, “Unless you were planning on breaking your promises to us.”

“No, of course not,” He answered automatically, “I only thought...”

“You think too much,” His father took a step forward, blocking even more of the light from streaming into the space, “I don’t believe we came all the way down here just to watch you sit pathetically on the sidelines.”

“Of course not,” Obi-Wan swallowed the spark of frustration, “Had I known you were coming I-”

“-You should have anticipated it,” His mother told him.

‘You’ve never come before,’ Obi-Wan held his tongue and instead just dipped his head in apology, “I’ll play.”

His mother scoffed as if he’d said something so obvious. She turned to leave and his father gave him one more steely look.

“You’d do well to remember your place,” As if he could see straight through him he added, “Kenobi’s don’t show any weakness.”

He finally turned and followed her out, making their way to the stands. The Ravenclaw team who had arrived just at the tail end of the dispute moved out of their way.

“Alright Kenobi?” Eeth clapped a hand on Obi-Wan’s shoulder, spinning him towards the direction of the locker room.

“Of course,” He responded easily enough, “Say Eeth, could I ask a favor of you?”

He would play, it was the simplest solution. His father was wrong about his reasonings though. Obi-Wan wouldn’t view having loved and lost as a weakness.

***

The atmosphere in the stands was charged with anticipation. Quidditch was always popular with the student body, but now it seemed they were latching onto the sense of normality with an iron fist. Many Ravenclaws had done up face paint and enchanted signs that flashed silver and blue letters cheering on the team. Gryffindor was leading chants from their end of the field and Hufflepuff and Slytherin houses split as the students picked a side. There still weren’t as many students as there should be, practically all those sent home had determined it would be a waste to come back to school for only a few weeks. Ravenclaw was down a few players because of it, and Gryffindor truly should count themselves lucky that their entire starting team was willing to play.

Even so, it seemed as if the stands were full just from the energy pouring out of them. Satine’s eyes were on Ben the moment he had been visible on the field. As if that was particularly out of the ordinary. She would deny such accusations if there were anyone brave enough to suggest anything. The familiarity of the whole thing was enough for her to not notice something was amiss until she realized that Ben was standing alongside his fellow starting players on the field rather than standing at the sidelines with the backups.

She sat up straighter, eyes darting around the field, looking to see if there was anything else out of place or perhaps for the reasoning behind the action. Satine had sat through her fair share of Quidditch matches in the past, but she knew she still didn’t know everything about the sport. Cody and Eeth Koth were sharing a word in the middle of the field. That was the only thing she could say was unusual, but not unheard of.

It wasn’t enough to make her suspicious of anything until Cody turned looking up at the Ravenclaw stands. She frowned, moving to turn around and get a clue as to what he could be so interested in.

“Nothing like the World Cup, is it,” A chilly voice that was unfortunately enough for Satine to recognize caused her to freeze in place and certainly not turn around any further. Obi-Wan’s parents were sitting only a few seats behind her.

“Box seating would be preferable,” Mr. Kenobi mused, “Hogwarts doesn’t show parents the respect they deserve.”

“Do you remember Beauxbaton?” Mrs. Kenobi asked, “They certainly had class.”

“We were there on ministry business,” He scoffed, “They hardly would have shown as much effort otherwise.”

“A pity.”

Satine hadn’t spent much time around the Kenobi’s when they weren’t berating her and her lack of status. Sitting nearly frozen and unnoticed just a few feet away, she could say for sure that they weren’t any more pleasant when left to their own devices. Blessedly, the players took to the air and both of the Kenobi’s lapsed into silence as the game began.

Of course that silence couldn’t have lasted longer than Satine’s patience. Ben hadn’t even done anything and they were quick to open their mouths and spew endless criticism from everything from his form to his choice of broom.

“None of your precision rubbed off on him,” Mrs. Kenobi muttered to her husband as Ben nearly dropped the Quaffle before chucking it hard and fast at the first free chaser, “He should be practicing more.”

Satine grit her teeth, sitting on her hands as they went on and on. Their voices were so abrasive to her own internal thoughts about Ben while he was playing. Where they saw a clumsy hit, she saw the way he considered each move carefully. Where they saw awkward form, she saw the way he was careful to stay on the damned broom. However, even with her own opinions about Ben’s performance, he certainly wasn’t at his best today. He’d let several quaffles through, enough that Eeth was hovering around the hoops nervously. Gryffindor wasn’t easy to beat on a good day and little slip ups weren’t helping.

“It’s like the boy’s never played a day in his life. How embarrassing,” His father scoffed and Satine bit back a stream of choice words and grimaced as Ben missed catching the Quaffle practically right in front of him and instead caught a bludger to the chest. He rolled a few times on his broom. It was enough for Eeth to finally call a timeout and Ravenclaw rushed towards their bench.

Satine, while grateful he was safe and firmly planted on the ground, didn’t like the way his parents made a disapproving noise.

“Ravenclaw’s a soft house,” Mrs. Kenobi spat, “I suppose it always has been.”

“6 years in the sport and he can’t take a hit,” Mr. Kenobi added, “Slytherin would have taught him better.”

“Oh look there,” His mother growled, “He’s got himself benched.”

Mr. Kenobi made an odd sound that Satine had to assume was some sort of laugh, “I can’t blame the captain. What a pitiful performance.”

Satine stewed quietly, unable to take her eyes off Ben or her ears off the Kenobi’s. She tried to reason with herself. Making such a fuss about it wouldn’t do anything to help Ben or her. No matter what she said they wouldn’t listen anyways. Still she found herself slowly turning around eyebrows twitching, mouth opening to give them a piece of her mind.

She only caught the tail end of Mrs. Kenobi’s long robe as she disappeared down the rickety stairs.

So they didn’t even deem the game worth watching if they didn’t have the opportunity to bad mouth their own son at every twist and turn. Satine growled, startling a few first years behind her before she turned back toward the match. Very well. She wouldn’t be able to prove anything to them in words so she would instead prove to them in her continued support.

***

Cody easily dodged a bludger as it rocketed its way back to Anakin. Despite Anakin’s earlier enthusiasm, he was fading ever faster. Cody was tempted to bench him just as Ravenclaw had done with Obi-Wan. Unfortunately Gryffindor needed the edge that Anakin could give them. Not to mention, Cody knew Anakin needed the distraction. He was only 12 and had faced death this year, not to mention he wasn’t yet sure what was going to happen to him when the year ended. It was an awful lot to put on a young boy’s shoulders.

Anakin managed to hit the bludger, but Eeth was able to dodge it just in time. Rush Clovis ended up being at the receiving end of the blow and he looked around wildly for where the thing had come from in the first place.

“Shake it off Rush,” Cody called with a wince. It was bad enough dealing with the other team’s beaters, without also worrying about your own.

“Sorry!” Anakin called, but Cody just waved him off as he moved to intercept the Quaffle. Taking it down the field and sinking it easily past Kenobi’s replacement. Vebb was a good Keeper, but he knew a lot less about Cody than Obi-Wan did.

Cody was nearly knocked off his broom as a flash of blue and silver streaked past him followed nearly immediately by his own team’s seeker, Moteé. They were both moving with speed and precision, trying to knock each other off their brooms in order to claim victory. He saw the glint in Moteé’s eye as she moved to put even more pressure on her broom when he also saw Skywalker raise his bat. Before he could call for Anakin to stop, the bludger was hit, rocketing towards them just as Moteé had pulled ahead.

There was a sickening smack as Moteé spun out, crashing towards the field below. The bludger still managed to clip Ropal sending him pitching forwards into the snitch. He flipped over, but managed to stay in the air with one hand. The other went to his snout where he coughed out the snitch.

“Damn it,” Cody cursed as he dropped to the ground while cheers and blue and silver sparks flooded the air.

“Moteé!” Anakin too had hit the ground, heels practically tearing up the grass as he screeched to a halt, “I’m so sorry! I-” Whether it was from Moteé’s glare or Cody’s warning look, he quickly cut himself off.

“Nasty hit,” Cody knelt down next to her, “I saw what you were doing, definitely a smart move.”

“Would have won us the game-” He hastily cut her off.

“I know,” She was swept away quickly by Madam Nema and a few other professors as Anakin approached Cody nervously.

“Is she okay? I didn’t mean to hit her...”

“She’ll be fine, probably just a concussion,” He clapped a hand on the boy’s shoulders, “We’re going to have to work on your intuition some, but everyone makes mistakes,” And when Anakin looked upset he sighed and added, “There’s always next year, kid.”

***

Satine didn’t waste any time rushing down to the field upon Ravenclaw’s win. She wanted to find Ben as soon as possible. He hadn’t wanted to play in the first place and having such a rough game, despite their overall win, wouldn’t do much to improve his mood. She was nearly to the field when she nearly got run over by Cody and the other Gryffindor’s filing noisily back to their locker room.

“Satine?” Cody moved aside, letting his team continue to file past. They were a little more subdued considering their loss, but the game had still been a much needed break, “If you’re looking for Kenobi, he’s not on the field.”

“How do you know I’m looking for him? Maybe I was looking for you,” She crossed her arms, but she glanced out towards the field giving herself away if she hadn’t already been so obvious.

“Oh please,” He grimaced, “I saw them in the stand you know. You aren’t here to sympathize with Gryffindor’s defeat.”

Satine frowned, “I am sorry you didn’t get your win this year-” But Cody waved her off.

“You know what they say, Satine, third time’s the charm. We’ll get you next year!”

“So,” Satine shifted on her feet, “If he’s not on the field...”

“I’m not sure where he went. One minute I’m giving my team a once over the next he’s nowhere to be seen.”

“Ravenclaw Locker room?” Satine suggested and Cody just turned easily in that direction, leading the two of them there.

“I figured he’d run towards the school, library maybe?”

“Well, his parents are hardly willing to enter Ravenclaw spaces, but I wouldn’t put it past them to enter the library if they’re looking for him,” Satine reasoned and Cody hummed in thought.

When they reached their destination, they peeked inside and her suspicions were found to be correct.

The room was empty besides Ben, sitting alone on a bench polishing his broom handle meticulously. Satine figured it was already well done enough to see your reflection in it, but he was always particular.

“Hey,” Cody called, entering first, before Satine could find the best way to break the silence herself, “Congrats on the win.”

“Oh, Cody,” He looked startled by the intrusion, looking past Cody to catch her eye, “Satine,” He smiled at her and she mirrored it with one of her own. He looked back towards Cody, “Thanks, I think I may have hindered us more than helped us. Sorry about the loss,” He offered his sympathy and Cody sat down across from him leaving Satine to drop down right next to Ben.

“Next year for sure,” Cody repeated with conviction.

“I don’t think you did bad at all,” Satine leaned towards Ben, the heat of anger that had been stoked by his parents nearly the whole game resurfaced. He leaned away surprised, “You did really well, you’re a great Keeper!”

“Thank you?” He answered. She was glad he had no idea what she was really getting at, that meant his parents hadn’t found him to complain yet, “I messed up quite a bit today, I definitely wasn’t on my game.”

“Well, you didn’t want to play in the first place,” Cody shrugged and the air between them grew cold as each member struggled to find a foothold in the conversation.

“We still won,” Satine reminded him firmly and he blinked at her before parroting.

“We still won.”

***

Anakin kicked a stone as hard as he could into the lake. He didn’t really want to go back to the common room and face a whole bunch of people he’d just let down. His team didn’t even seem that disappointed, but Anakin felt that maybe they should be. If it wasn’t for him, they may have won the game! Plus if it wasn’t for him a mass murderer wouldn’t have been disrupted the entire school year. He kicked another rock.

“Careful mate,” Rex appeared at the corner of his vision, picking up a smooth stone and flicking it so it skipped across the lake, leaving ripples in its wake, “There’s said to be creatures living in there. I don’t think they’d like to land a rock to the head.”

Anakin sighed deeply, dropping down to the ground, his shoes just brushing the edge of the water, “I can’t believe I lost us the game!”

“Yeah if you were going to take out our seeker, you should have done it earlier. Could’ve given me a chance to play,” Rex joked sitting next to him.

“I could have killed Moteé!” Anakin looked at Rex, guilt swirling around at the thought.

“You didn’t though,” Rex shrugged, “Moteé knew what she signed up for, so did Ropal, so did Cody, so do I. It’s Quidditch mate! It’s dangerous.”

“Yeah, but I never expected to be the one causing the danger,” Anakin grumbled and Rex laughed.

“Sorry to say, but I think danger might be in your bones,” When Anakin didn’t respond, Rex punched him in the arm, “Come on, you wouldn’t hurt a fly, unless it was a fly actively trying to hurt your friends. Sure, Moteé’s a little mad, but you would be too if you’d been knocked around twice in one year. She’ll get over it.”

“I should make her an apology card,” Anakin decided as he flicked a rock into the water, “I’ll leave it on her bedside table while she’s sleeping so she doesn’t try to strangle me.”

“That’s the spirit!”

***

Obi-Wan had been under the misguided impression that once the drama with Maul settled down that he and his fellow prefects would finally earn themselves a decent night’s sleep. Of course, once he’d drawn up those conclusions in his head, he hadn’t factored in the possibility of losing his favorite professor in the process. He never would have thought, even when things were at their worst, that the earth would allow itself to turn without the brilliance that was Qui-Gon Jinn. Even weeks later and for likely longer than he could imagine, he still struggled to sleep at the horrible visions that filled his eyes when he closed them. He wondered how long such a reaction would last and hoped it wouldn’t be for as long as he missed the man, because he would always miss Qui-Gon Jinn.

Satine tried to insist that it was okay to mourn and grieve and he knew she was right. He’d never judge someone else for feeling depressed over losing someone important, but it was harder for Obi-Wan to reconcile this about himself.

If there was one thing that helped take his mind off of the persistent ache that gnawed at his chest, it was the influx of schoolwork. If they were going to be remotely ready for finals, they needed to play a massive game of catch-up. Satine, in particular, still had work to catch up on from the month she’d been frozen in carbonite.

It’s what brought them to tirelessly working on outlines, notecards, study guides, and mock quizzes just about every night in the common room.

He nearly scowled just thinking about how easily Ventress had gotten off for her involvement in that fiasco. She could have permanently disfigured students or worse! She could have killed them and according to Satine, she didn’t seem to care all that much about if she did or not.

She should have been arrested or at the very least expelled, but no, it was simply a year of detention and her losing her prefect status to atone for her crimes. She hadn’t even lost any house points for Slytherin, though that might have been in fairness to the other students of Slytherin house. He had no doubts that her affluent family, or adopted family to be more correct now, had a say in striking up the plea deal.

Since his only source to any real information was gone, he didn’t know what she told them about Dooku. All he knew was that it was apparently enough to be useful.

“I think Yoda believes her more dangerous out there with a vendetta than in school,” Satine’s tired voice interrupted his thoughts and startled as he was, he really shouldn’t have been. He was practically staring a hole in the newly added section about countering carbonite curses. It was taught by Yoda himself and learned during his time away.

“Or he’s afraid what Dooku will do to her if he expels her,” He grumbled and held his quill a little tighter. If he was being honest, the words were starting to blur from the way his eyes glazed over in exhaustion. Maybe, he’d actually get to sleep tonight.

“I mean it’s reasonable,” Satine shrugged, “I don’t want Dooku to hurt anyone, even her.”

That was the admirable thing about Satine. Her consistency with her noble values was something to be revered. Ventress could truly benefit from taking notes. For instance, having morals at all would be a vast improvement.

“I don’t either,” He sighed, “That doesn’t mean I have to like what she did to you… And the others.”

He might have added that a bit too late. He’d been horrified when discovering Rabé in Hogsmeade, but he did guiltily admit that Satine’s freezing was different. So much so, that he wondered if he’d look at the place the same next time he ventured there. So much had been taken away from them this year. Experiences, laughs, people. He was sure this would be a year too heavy to bear had he lost Satine too.

She sighed, “It was truly abhorrent, but it was a bit like waking up when I came out of it. I’d expect the worst part was for all of you who had to sit around and stare at my stony face.”

His tongue grew a bit fat when he thought to comment that looking at her face had never been a problem for him and at his own reluctance to admit: anyone else. Still, all he could think to do was peer over to her forearm, which lay turned facing up on the couch. He could still see the faint little scars of nails that had dug into her arm.

Catching his eyes, she carefully unraveled her sleeve to cover them and he looked at her sheepishly, to which she only shrugged. She might have said it was like waking up, but he had a feeling that getting frozen hadn’t been like falling asleep.

“She still deserved far more than detention.” He said.

“Of course,” She scoffed, “Seems like she’s got quite the chip on her shoulder now, though. She’s been laying pretty low.”

“Even during the match.” He admitted and rubbed his eyes, “I can’t help but wonder if she’s planning anything.”

“Considering how she was dumped by Dooku and left to burn, I’d say it involves turning some of those witchy powers onto him if she can get within arm’s reach.”

“I’ve had enough talk on Sith lords this year,” He yawned, “Maybe next year.”

She snorted dryly, “Yes, I’m sure Dooku will take that into deep consideration.”

“We’ve only got a couple weeks left,” He reminded her and even as awful as this year had turned out being, he couldn’t help but be surprised that it was nearly over. “One more year left.”

“Don’t start,” She warned, “I’d like to at least pass my finals first.”

Now, it was his turn to snort, “Satine, I know we’re tired, but we’re not completely delusional.”

She closed her book and faced him. Her bright blue eyes were bloodshot and struggling with effort to stay awake, “That implies we’re delusional at all.”

“Maybe we are,” He said, “I know you aren’t ever one to hold back when you disagree with one of my less conventional plans. Not to mention your obvious opinions on my possible color blindness.”

“To be color blind, you’ve actually got to mix up or not see certain colors, Ben.” She groaned, leaning her head back at the armrest. “You’ve just got batty taste.”

“I don’t know about that.” He said, pulse quickening. Nothing about this moment quite seemed right, but he’d been delaying in telling her how he felt for far too long. Recently, he’d been shown numerous signs of realizing how short life was. And yes, Cody had been right, delivering the sentiment of telling her how he cared in the form of a card was cowardly and short-sighted.

Telling her at the funeral would have just been plain depressing and any time before that had been consumed with the very real fear that their lives were about to be taken away. He still kicked himself for how he’d parted with her before seeking out Anakin. A kiss on the hand? What was this? A Victorian period piece?

In his defense, that was where he’d gotten most of his exposure to the romance genre.

In between the deftly heady spaces of remorse that clouded his thoughts, he regretted not spewing exactly how he felt or at least properly kissing her to make it clear. Though the prospect of being so forward like that now reddened him to a palpable flame. Now, it felt like a moment had passed between them and though he suspected she had some level of understanding, it seemed she wouldn’t be bringing it up either.

Unless she’d gotten over it- nope! He was not talking himself out of it. They were alone, which was a triumph in and of itself. He’d never want something of this nature to be spoken in front of an audience. They were also considerably peaceful, so much so that he felt like he might actually fall asleep by the comfort of warmth that radiated off her profile. He looked at their hands and how they were only a quick movement from touching. What would she do if he just held her hand?

Maybe, just maybe, this year didn’t have to be so dreadful after all. Qui-Gon’s words about learning to live flowed through him and seemed to finally make sense as he looked over at Satine through lowered eyes. The very least he could do was honor his mentor’s wishes.

“Hear me when I say that you need to live your life.”

“I don’t think I have batty taste at all,” He reiterated after a long pause.

“Is that so?” Satine responded slowly, “I beg to differ.”

“If I had batty taste I wouldn’t be friends with Cody.” He reasoned, “Nor would I have chosen Anakin as my protege.”

“Mmm, perhaps,” She said quietly.

“I wouldn’t have such a preference in dessert or soft animals if my taste was foul and I wouldn’t like all the books you recommend.”

“Unless your tendency to appreciate ugliness is contagious,” She chuckled.

He kept his eyes fixated on the fire ahead, really struggling to look at her as he figured out his way around the sentence that swirled around his brain. It shouldn’t be hard and he knew the stress was him overthinking it. He didn’t dare to dream of the consequences, because he wasn’t sure dreaming was in the cards for him now. Really, all that mattered to him was that it was said and that she knew.

His first step in attempting to truly live was gently taking Satine’s hand in his, interweaving their fingers and admiring at how perfect of a fit it seemed and how soft her hands were. He took the way they immediately curled around his as a good sign as any to continue with what plagued his broken heart.

“Well, I should hope you don’t feel that way,” He winced, “Because… the truly defining reason that I couldn’t possibly have that much of a predilection towards the unseemly is you.”

She didn’t answer right away, but his nerves prevented her from really doing so, “That is to say, I think you’re quite lovely, or more accurately, I think you’re the loveliest person I’ve ever seen or met. Inside and out.”

Because he really didn’t need her thinking he was sitting around drooling over her looks all day, no matter how impressive he found them.

“Because you’re everything I or anyone could ever want. You’re beautiful, brilliant, compassionate, witty, creative… Really, I could go on for so long that I’d need a dictionary of proper words to articulate how in awe I am of you, even without romantic connotation.”

Ugh.

“But there are plenty of romantic connotations, of course,” He coughed, “I wanted to tell you sooner. And the reason that it’s been so hard for me to say that is not because I don’t feel strongly in this regard, but the opposite. It’s intimidating for someone like me, who’d been taught otherwise about passion, but my feelings for you go beyond and within logic, forming what I can only assume is… Love.”

Silence.

Oh, no, had he said something wrong?

He turned his head to brave the consequences of his words, hoping that she would at least be the good sort of speechless. She had kissed him at Christmas. It wasn’t like these conclusions weren’t coming from somewhere. That didn’t stop his head from racing at a mile a minute with other possibilities.

They stilled when he received the sight of Satine Kryze, passed out against over the side of the couch, leaning on the armrest with her full body weight, her hair tumbling over the edge in a blonde waterfall. She was captivating, even in slumber, of course, so he was left in the debilitating and confusing predicament of his heart inflating and deflating.

She hadn’t heard any of it?

He blew out a breath like a balloon releasing air and leaned back. It wasn’t exactly how he’d wanted this moment to go at all. His head was pounding with a headache and he massaged his temples. Okay, he was officially and regretfully scratching out “firelit study session” as a possible setting to express his romantic intentions towards her. He was beginning to feel like some higher power might genuinely have it out for him.

He looked back down at their still joined hands. Any residual disappointment fell away at the sight and he gently and tenderly raised her hand to his lips for a careful kiss. It was nothing like the firm and desperate one he’d parted her with before, but a true promise of hope.

“Another time.” He whispered and without releasing her hand, nestled into the comfortable couch, finding a blanket out of the parchments and books across their laps, and for the first time all month, Obi-Wan slept a fearless sleep.

***

With Quidditch having ended for the year and nothing else to look forward to beyond finals (a truly bleak thought for Anakin), he realized with sharp clarity that this might be the last week he spends at Hogwarts should he never be able to return. While he had previously been depressed, he was filled with a new sense of purpose. He wanted to make it count.

Starting with how he was finally going to get a few things off his chest.

He didn’t walk lightly or quietly past those who pitied him, instead pushing past them with a heavy force of nature propelled by his inner desires finally coming to fruition. Regardless of consequence, he was a Gryffindor fearless and true, and he would be owning up to that title one way or another this year.

He found her sitting surprisingly alone on the front lawn and nearly toppled over a loose root on his way. It was a beautiful day, because apparently Anakin was allowed some small favors by the universe, and would be a lovely setting to deliver the impression he’d truly wanted to.

“Oh, hi, Anakin!” Padmé was one of the few people in this school whose empathy and kindness seemed genuine. It was a tenderness he was unsure he deserved to be on the receiving end of, but welcomed it nonetheless.

“I know you’re studying, so I won’t keep you long,” He sat down on the picnic blanket without waiting for an invitation to join her. If he stopped or paused, he might lose his nerve and if there was anything this fleeting year taught him, it was that there was no glory without guts.

“Okay, what’s up?” She asked him warily, setting aside her History of Magic textbook and crossing her hands on her lap to give him her full attention.

With her staring so openly at him, he nearly got lost in the way the sun made her eyes look golden in their warmth depth. However, the very last thing he wanted was for her to think he was a creep, so he continued onwards with the last remaining gumption he had left.

“I made something for you,” He blurted out, hating that it didn’t sound as impressive out loud as it had in his head when he internally rehearsed this speech. Even without decorum, he dug in the pocket of his robe and pulled out the trinket he’d made from the mockups that Hondo sold as merchandise. It had a completely different paint job. It was tan and carved with a little square and squiggly lines at the center.

“Oh!” She clearly didn’t know what it was meant to signify, so Anakin had no problem filling her in.

“I saw it in a book when studying ancient runes with Obi-Wan, from a japor snippet,” Off her curious look, he shrugged, “It’s meant to give good fortune to the beloved of the maker.”

“To the beloved of- oh.” Her eyes bugged when she hastily met his gaze and dropped the little necklace in her lap. “You mean you… Like me?”

“Well… Yeah.” He said awkwardly, realizing this was not as romantic as he’d drawn it up to be in his head. Embarrassment was quickly coloring his features and he hoped it would play as sunburn.

Anakin felt like his breath stopped somewhere in his chest. She definitely didn’t look like she was about to go running into his arms and dance with him in the sunlight. He shied his gaze away, trying to figure out a way to play this off as a joke when she suddenly took his hand.

“Anakin, this is very sweet,” She said, “I just- I don’t, I’m not really in that kind of place right now.”

His blond fringe hung in his eyes, which was fortunate for him as he didn’t want to appear too depressed or forlorn. It was another blow to take, but a risk he understood. At least he knew.

“And honestly, I don’t feel like I really know you,” She admitted.

He looked up at her and frowned, “What do you mean? I feel like I know you.”

“I think…” She paused, gnawing on her bottom lip to find the words she wanted to say, “I think you might have conjured an idea of me in your head.”

“And that’s different?” He asked.

“Yeah, I mean, we don’t really talk that often.”

“That’s because I’m always too nervous to talk to you.” He answered.

“Why do I find it hard to believe that you get nervous?” She tilted her head to the side, flashing a smile that still warmed him up from the inside, “In any case, you’ve nothing to be nervous of.”

“Yeah, I guess the worst case scenario already just happened,” He leaned back on his legs, kneeling now in front of her with remnants of disappointment still tainting this day. He didn’t know why he would believe that someone as magnificent as Padmé Amidala would ever be interested in a scrub like him. The crushing weight of this rejection felt a bit like a wound being reopened before she squeezed his hand.

“I’d really like it if we could be friends.” She offered lightly, “I’m always in the market for more true friends.”

“If you’re just saying that because you feel sorry for me…” He trailed off, because he really didn’t want to be anyone’s charity case.

“Why would I lie?” She asked, “Anakin, you seem like an incredibly caring person and like a lot of fun, frankly. It would be my pleasure to get to know you and to be your friend… Just as long as you understand that that’s all I want to be.”

He thought about that and considered, not for the first time, that having more good people in his life to some capacity was better than less. He could trust Padmé and while she believed he didn’t really know her, he intended on getting to know the real her.

Then, he briefly thought back to something said to them earlier this year. “I just hope Miraj wasn’t right when she said misfortune will follow you for befriending me.”

She squeezed his hand again and his heart felt a little lighter, “I don’t let anyone tell me who I can and can’t be friends with. Friendship doesn’t come with terms and conditions.”

Anakin smiled at her, “Well, in that case, I ask that you still keep the necklace. We’ll call it… a friendship necklace.”

“Are you sure?” She asked, “There might be another lucky girl out there that you could give it to.”

“Nah,” He waved her off, “There isn’t. I’d rather it go… To a friend.”

***

“Poisonous plant that kills animal cells?” Satine was blocking her notes quite strategically from both Obi-Wan and Cody even if Cody was not participating in their little game. In his opinion, studying should not be done at the dinner table or really at any sort of event outside of maybe an hour or two in the library.

“Bloodroot,” Obi-Wan answered quickly, not even a moment's hesitation. He then looked down to his own notes without even waiting for confirmation, “What do the four golden statues in the MACUSA represent?”

“The victims of the Salem witch trials,” Satine frowned, “And may I just add how absolutely horrific that was,” She turned back to her notes, “How would one go about resisting the imperius curse-” She looked unsettled as she looked up at Obi-Wan, “What have you all been doing in DADA?”

“Utilizing strong mental fortitude,” He answered the first question before shrugging, “I may need it someday. Professor Fisto said those that can make the best aurors.”

The expression on Satine’s face was enough for Cody to cut in before they could start arguing, “Do you really need to be studying right now? It pays to take breaks you know,” The two looked at each other.

“I’m not tired, are you?” Obi-Wan asked and Satine shook her head, “Alright, how many known wand core components are there?”

“Three,” Cody answered dully, poking at his mashed potatoes.

“Nineteen!” Satine answered.

“Really?” Cody grimaced, “Glad I’m not in that class.”

“We could switch to something else if you’d like,” Satine offered and Obi-Wan nodded, “Charms?”

“Please no!” Cody shook his head quickly, “You might not be tired, but I’m tired just watching you go back and forth.”

“Suit yourself,” Obi-Wan shrugged, “We’re almost out for the summer anyways, you won’t have to think about classes for a whole two months.”

“Yeah, except every time I get an owl from you lot,” He rolled his eyes, “Last year, you sent me more book summaries than you did events from your real life, Kenobi.”

“The books were the interesting part!”

“Anyways,” Satine finally took a bite of her, surely cold, chips, “We’ve had a rather chaotic year. It serves to be prepared.”

“They should just cancel the lot of them if you ask me,” Cody said with a shrug, “We hardly had any real classes for half the year.”

“Oh stop! It hasn’t been that bad-”

Headmaster Yoda tapped the side of his glass, and a hush rolled across the Great Hall. He was slow to rise, but stood on his chair as to best see across the room at all the students.

“An announcement, I have to make,” He nodded, “Uncertain, our year has been. Unprecedented. The remaining professors and I, come to a conclusion, we have. NEWT exams and OWLs will be pushed back until the end of July.”

There was an audible sigh of relief from those students who had certainly been stressing it. Cody had to admit, had he been taking his NEWTs this year, he was almost sure he’d be in a full-fledged panic over it. Chatter rose in the Great Hall again and Yoda tapped on his glass once more. He wasn’t done yet.

“For the rest of you,” Anticipation hung in the air like electricity as they all turned as one to face the Headmaster, “Decided we have, to cancel your finals.” He barely got the words out before the whole hall broke into loud cheering.

Cogs in his brain turned quickly as he realized the universe had heard his pleas for once. He quickly shouted, “And I want onto a professional Quidditch team!” He turned to express his delight to his two best friends before glancing over to looks of utter horror and despair.

“But- I-” Satine was at a loss for words and Obi-Wan looked like he was still processing the information.

“Oh, cheer up!” Cody grinned, “This is a good thing.”

“I hardly think so,” Obi-Wan sounded quite like he’d been informed of his own expulsion, “How will we test our knowledge now?”

“You were doing pretty well on your own,” Cody rolled his eyes.

“Yes… We could just make our own tests,” Satine turned to him excitedly. Obi-Wan perked up at the thought.

“It’s certainly not against the rules,” He immediately scrambled for a quill, “We’d have to grade them together though-”

“Of course, I don’t want you doing it wrong!” Satine pulled out her own quill, pulling his parchment closer to her.

“You two are absolutely insufferable, you know that?” Cody crossed his arms, stewing, “Something good finally comes our way and you want to make it harder for yourselves.”

“Cody, would you like us to make you one too?” Obi-Wan asked, clearly not having heard him.

Cody stared at him long and hard, “Hell no! Leave me out of your insanity!”

***

Much to Ventress’ disdain, Headmaster Yoda’s list of announcements didn’t stop at the cancellation of finals, no matter how welcome that was. Once the outburst of mass celebration simmered down, the smiling little green Headmaster patiently began yet again.

“Finished, I am not. Announce the winner of the house cup, I will.” He said and Ventress felt her stomach turn inside out. All eyes at Slytherin’s table turned to her in immediate appraisal. They’d already won the Quidditch cup, but it was obvious they were concerned that her transgressions this year could result in slating them. She didn’t care about the competition, as there was no true value to winning. However, some under Slytherin’s banner took beating Gryffindor very seriously.

A pregnant pause filled the entire Great Hall as everyone held their breaths for the reveal. Ventress kept her eyes focused hard on Yoda and it seemed he caught her gaze. He remained tepid and relaxed, but never breaking contact as he spoke,

“Won, Slytherin house has,” He said and backed away as the entire Great Hall flew into even greater hysterics than before. The other three houses were understandably outraged while Slytherin was practically crawling on the table to celebrate their win. Ventress, a bit dumbfounded, did not join them in their hurrah.

“What, so they try to kill us all semester and they get rewarded for it?” Shouted one student that Ventress couldn’t see through the chaos.

“They’re monsters! Maul was one of them!” Yelled another.

“We lost how many points for Krell last year?” A Gryffindor, obviously, jumped in.

Her Slytherin counterparts didn’t resist chiming in, of course, since they were not the sort to be made victims of, “Hey! Maybe if you kept your head focused on your books instead of every little trollup’s arse, you might get somewhere!”

“That is enough! Take a seat, all of you!” Professor Windu boomed over the rest of the crowd. If he was good for something, it was projecting his voice even without an amplification charm. “First of all, Gryffindor House, you lost zero points for Krell’s actions last year, because as with this situation, it was agreed that his abhorrent actions were an anomaly and completely unfair to take the rest of you down.”

“Second,” Yoda continued for him, “Hard work, Slytherin has shown. The actions of one, they will not be crucified for.”

Once again, Ventress felt the burning stares of her peers. She was shunned by Dooku, who promised to reunite her with the Nightsisters of Dathomir, who would understand her, embrace her skills and her flaws as they were. They would be a true family, not the imposters that supposedly raised her under the affluent guise of success. Even these wannabes were rejecting her, save for those whose parents likely threatened them.

She clutched her fist. They didn’t deserve to win the house cup. None of them did. There should have been no rewards for any of their actions. Two professors were dead and a stack of aurors before them and here they were deliberating over a trivial contest. It was foolish and exactly why the Sith would easily be able to dominate them all. They could cast their disappointment at her all they wanted, but it was all just a distraction. It would be easy, in the end, and the commoners would clutch their pearls and act like it hadn’t been in front of their faces all along.

She’d told them what she knew not only to hopefully scorn Dooku, even if that would be an added bonus, but because it seemed they needed it spoon fed to them in order to begin tracking him down. She didn’t want to give Dooku or his master the satisfaction of seeing their future through. She never had any real loyalties to it, just what it could do for her.

Instead, she’d need to play the role of the dutiful pureblood witch and utilize whatever funds and resources to bring about real change: to bring back the sinister sisters of her bloodline, to take back everything and destroy the muggles that stood in their way. It would be better than the dogmatic Sith.

It would be revolution.

“So, if I hear any of you claiming that it was unjust, I’d like you to ask yourself, what more could you have done to better advance your house?” Windu said.

Quiet murmurs spread across the room and she still knew they were all indirectly about her. Someone pointed out that Obi-Wan Kenobi took out an entire Sith lord on his own, but another mentioned something about how he rejected any rewards for it.

Faro scowled from across the table at that, “Such a fool. Does he believe he’ll get anywhere in life with that sacrificing attitude?”

“I’d expect he doesn’t need to, with mommy and daddy’s money just waiting for him,” Miraj Scintel said coolly, “He’s not too bad on the eyes, too, which helps.”

She cast her eyes towards Obi-Wan Kenobi, who was chatting amongst some of his quidditch friends. She grimaced at his natural charisma that everyone seemed to fall for. It was sickening, really, that he could blend so well amongst everyone, even the muggle borns. That he wanted to. She didn’t get the appeal to his relentlessly charitable way of being. It was like he asked to be magnificently cursed.

It would be like swallowing a thick and heavy dose of the foulest medicines, but Ventress knew what she needed to do in order to accomplish her greatest desires. Next year was their final year at this putrid school, and she would do what she must to climb the ranks. He wouldn’t break easy from his band of misfits, but he would break. And really, Ventress would have very little to do with it. The way of the pureblood culture would be more than enough. Time was ticking and Ventress knew she had much to do.

She began scrawling in her notebook the terms of an unbreakable vow.

***

Now that finals had been cancelled the library was practically vacant, most students were spending their precious few hours left at school in the courtyard, on brooms or chatting by the lake. Obi-Wan could never think of anywhere else he’d rather be in his spare time than in the library and it was clear that Satine thought the same, taking up her usual spot beside him.

She was engrossed in her book, something on hidden secret wizarding communities across the globe. He hadn’t gotten around to reading that one yet, although he was sure he’d been to plenty of the places listed. He was sure she’d quite like Appleby if she ever got the chance to go. She turned a page and it seemed like enough to jar her from her focus and instead place her eyes on him.

“What?” Obi-Wan winced, he hadn’t realized he’d been staring, how rude.

“Oh nothing I was just-” He floundered for something to say, “Appreciating that we had time off.”

“It’s pretty nice,” She smiled, letting her book flutter closed and almost seemed to lean a little closer to him as she rested her arm on the table, “I do still have that evening patrol tonight.”

“You could trade for mine tomorrow morning,” He chuckled at the way her lips curled back into a snarl.

“Not on your life,” She huffed, “Perhaps, I’ll have fewer next year. Considering we’ll have the most seniority.”

“I’m sure as Head Girl you’ll have your pick of the litter,” Obi-Wan said without thinking and she looked at him a little surprised.

“I don’t think anything has been decided yet,” She answered coolly.

“They’d be a fool not to pick you,” Obi-Wan waved a hand at her, “Certainly there’s no competition, you’re the brightest witch of your age.”

“Well, I’d hardly say there’s no competition,” She smothered a smile, “But it would be a high honor to receive.”

“I was expected to get prefect,” Obi-Wan mused, “I didn’t realize how much I’d enjoy the position. I’m already honored just to have been considered for the role of Head Boy.”

Satine gazed at him for a beat, “Why do you talk like you’ve already lost out?”

“Well we don’t know-”

“-Don’t we?” Satine scoffed, drumming her fingers on the table in irritation, “If you think I have no competition, you’ve already won.”

Obi-Wan shook his head, “There’s always Bail-”

“-Ben please,” Satine rolled her eyes, “Bail’s incredibly smart and a good prefect, but even he, himself, knows that he’s not getting the position,” Satine continued before he could open his mouth, “Ben you’re the top student at the school-”

“Second,” He corrected automatically, “You beat me by half a point-”

“I haven’t forgotten!” She jabbed a finger at him, “I wasn’t counting me.”

“Well you should,” He grumbled, “You’re the brightest witch here.”

They looked at each other for a second, neither knowing how to break away, “That means I’m always right,” Satine pointed out, turning towards her book, face a little red. Obi-Wan looked away and found interest in reading the titles on the shelf across from him, “You’ll be Head Boy for sure.”

“Then you’ll be Head Girl,” He shot back without glancing over. They hung in an almost oppressive silence for another minute or two before Obi-Wan hesitantly glanced over. Unfortunately for him, she’d been looking his way and they were once again stuck, eyes locked together.

It was almost as if words were traveling unspoken, questions, maybe answers. It was enough for Obi-Wan to take a shaky breath and try to ask one of his own out loud. The one he’d been trying to get out for a while now.

“Satine-”

“There you are!” Anakin’s voice was quick to shatter whatever spell had come between them and Obi-Wan felt his face heat up and his heart race as he turned towards Anakin with a hint of irritation.

“What?” He groused and Anakin looked between him and Satine with a tilt to his head.

“I was just going to ask you to check over my essay...” Anakin faltered, “I can come back-”

“No, no. It’s fine,” Obi-Wan let out a long breath, “You only startled me. This is a library you know.”

“I know! You never spend any time outside of it...” Anakin complained under his breath, handing over his essay.

Obi-Wan took it and used it to hide his face as he glanced towards Satine. She’d gone back to her reading, but looked unfazed. She flipped a page and brushed a strand of hair out of her face.

“Whatcha looking at?” Anakin whispered in his ear and he glared at Anakin.

“Your poorly written essay,” He answered, rolling up said parchment to bap him in the head with it.

“Aw come on I tried extra hard this time!” Anakin sighed, draping himself across the table.

“You really need to reel in your tangents,” Obi-Wan pulled the red pen Anakin had given to him the previous year and scratched through a whole paragraph before handing it back, “Professor Yaddle doesn’t want to know how this relates to your favorite shows.”

Anakin spent a moment looking over his essay before pulling out a blank sheet of parchment and began to revise. Obi-Wan looked between Anakin and Satine and frowned. So much for a quiet moment or any sort of real talk.

“Perhaps, I’ll see you back in the common room then?” Satine placed a bookmark in her book and he gave her a sheepish smile.

“I suppose so-”

“Padmé?” Satine was looking over his head and so he turned to indeed see Padmé Amidala edge her way out from behind a bookshelf.

“Ah hello,” She greeted, “I was hoping you could look over my potions essay, Satine? If it’s not too much trouble.”

Satine sat back down and gestured to the seat across from her, “Alright, hand it over,” She leaned closer to Ben and whispered quietly, “Never a dull moment.”

“Never,” He grinned over at her.

***

“You summoned me, Headmaster?” Obi-Wan creaked open the door to Yoda’s office and was immediately comforted by the reminder that it was Yoda’s office yet again, no matter what qualms certain sectors of the Ministry of Magic had. It had been a unanimous vote, one even cast by Palpatine, to reinstate him and he was glad he had. It was nothing personal to Professor Palpatine, but his parties catering towards his favorite students didn’t exactly speak for a strong lack of bias.

“Indeed, in you come!” Yoda gestured for Obi-Wan to take a seat and he followed suit. “Important things, we have to discuss.”

Obi-Wan winced. He really didn’t want to relay what happened on the viaduct with Maul yet again to another person. He really didn’t understand why Windu couldn’t have just passed on what he received first hand immediately afterwards. There had been a lot of heavy sobbing and sniffling to get around, but he knew he told him everything in a flush of emotions uncharacteristic to him. That moment was foggy, likely at his mind’s own choice to further spare him from sadness, but he remembered being grateful that no one else was around.

Alternatively, the debate over who was to be the next Head Boy and Head Girl was buzzing louder than ever with just a few days left in the term. Traditionally, this announcement was made over the summer in the form of a personal letter that students usually hung over their mantles in pride. However, maybe they wanted to deliver some more good news in light of recent events.

Then again, Satine would probably be here too if that’s what they were discussing. Or at least, he really hoped she would.

“What is it, Headmaster?” He felt compelled to ask, because they sat in silence for a long time, neither looking relaxed that this troubling year was coming to a close. With Dooku still running free, it was very likely that a precedent was starting.

“Worried, for young Skywalker, you are,” He said calmly. It was not a question, but Yoda was never known for dancing around his point for very long. No, the lengthy and often riddled speeches were a trait of a professor who would no longer be bursting into this office without announcement nor would they live to relay another prophetic theory ever again. The weight of that absence sat between Obi-Wan and Yoda, though neither acknowledged it formally.

��Very much so,” He confirmed and tapped his fingers aimlessly on his knees, “I- Well, I made a promise to look after him.”

“To whom?” Yoda raised a brow on his wrinkly face, “Skywalker or your former mentor, did you promise?”

Qui-Gon always said that Anakin was the top priority and though he’d always known it, that really sunk in now that the boy had no one left but Obi-Wan.

“Both.” He said after a deep breath, “So, if you’ve brought me here to tell me that you’re just going to throw Anakin in some orphanage when Dooku is surely out there waiting for him to be vulnerable, I cannot allow that.”

“Sound like Qui-Gon, you do,” Yoda said, amused, but Obi-Wan wasn’t sure if he knew how much that meant to him just then, “Cast Skywalker aside, we cannot.”

Obi-Wan relaxed his shoulders immediately. He hadn’t been sure what his course of action was going to be to follow up his assertion, but he was glad he didn’t have to come up with anything just then. He was just glad that Anakin wasn’t going to be left with strangers. It was incredibly cruel considering everything he’d been through.

He didn’t breathe completely easily yet, “But you’re also not going to lock him up in the castle all summer either, right? He needs normalcy.”

And a break from this place. They all did, as much as he preferred his years at Hogwarts to his summers at home. Obi-Wan knew he would be eager to return back in the fall, yearning for the bright memories this special place held for him. However, as it was at the moment, he could only feel the lingering sense of loss.

“Agree, I do, but find new normal for him, we must.”

“Until his mother is found.” Obi-Wan agreed.

“That might-” Yoda caught himself off as he regarded Obi-Wan with sad eyes and without the desire to complete the thought he started. Obi-Wan knew what he’d been thinking. It had been on his mind too whenever Anakin brought it up, even since it first happened. He also never said what came to mind.

Yoda shook his head and started again, “Yes, and find an alternative, we have. Or more accurately, found us, the alternative has.”

“That’s great.” Obi-Wan said, “A family is taking him in then.”

“Appear so, it would.”

“Well, that’s fantastic! And Anakin is on board?” There was something still odd about this meeting, a wariness to Yoda’s gaze that wasn’t quite meeting Obi-Wan’s eyes anymore. His body language was turned away, like he knew he was delivering bad news.

He nodded, long pointed ears wiggling a bit as he did, “Inform you first, I thought I should. Object to the arrangement, you can, but very few options, we have.”

“Inform me?” Obi-Wan repeated, “Headmaster, I’m not sure I have the faintest idea what you could be talking about. Who are they?”

***

“Anakin, darling, there you are!” Mrs. Kenobi came shuffling over hurriedly, or as much as she could with the trail of midnight green satin slithering behind her in long tresses. Mr. Kenobi took long strides behind her, leading with his infamous walking stick that always captured Anakin’s attention.

Anakin was indeed surprised when he was given the information that the Kenobi’s wanted to take him in for the summers and holidays and relieved that he would at least get to stick with Obi-Wan, but he certainly hadn’t expected they’d show up at the castle’s doorsteps.

Obi-Wan, it appeared, was also absolutely flabbergasted as he dropped whatever bags he’d been helping Satine with clean on the cobblestone walkway, much to his friend’s initial chagrin and gradual understanding as she rounded the bend.

“What the hell, Be- Oh.” Satine snapped her mouth shut and just focused on picking up her scattered things with Padmé and Breha at either side of her. None of the three girls dared to lift their heads.

“Mother, Father, you’re here… At Hogwarts.” His voice was tight and clipped while his eyes didn’t blink.

“We do need to work on your hosting mannerisms.” His mother didn’t look once at him and kept her eyes on Anakin, “Ah well, I suppose there will be plenty of room for practice this summer with our brand new house guest.”

“Thank you for taking me in.” Anakin said earnestly, because even while belonging on another plane of elitist culture, they still volunteered to take Anakin in the moment they’d heard he was without a place to stay.

“It is no trouble at all, my boy,” Mr. Kenobi ruffled his hair, “The servants have already taken the liberty of clearing out Obi-Wan’s room for you.”

“My room?” Obi-Wan questioned.

“Oh, no I can’t do that. I can just sleep on the couch or something-” But Anakin was instantly cut off by Mrs. Kenobi’s thin, but noticeably strong arms crushing him into a hug against her bony sternum.

“Nonsense!” She hissed, “His room is much warmer than the spares and only the best for growing heroes.”

Anakin wanted to turn around and shrug at Obi-Wan. He hoped he didn’t mind giving up his room for him. He knew he would be pretty upset if some little kid came into his childhood room and took over all of his stuff and space.

“And since we have raised Obi-Wan correctly, he will do the just and honorable thing and give his room for you in your time of need,” Mr. Kenobi’s voice was lethal, but Anakin still only had a view of Mrs. Kenobi’s laced neckline, so he didn’t see the look that matched it over Mrs. Kenobi’s shoulder.

After a pause, Obi-Wan cleared his throat, “Yes, well, I have been eyeing up the west wing.”

“Mmm, I think not.” Mr. Kenobi waved a large hand at him dismissively, “I’m refurbishing it as a second office.”

“The east wing, then.” Obi-Wan tried.

“The basement will do, you’ll have much more space down there to practice Quidditch.”

After a long pause, Obi-Wan only nodded and was giving Anakin a smile that didn’t quite meet his eyes, “Sounds good.”

“Clearly, it’s needed,” Mrs. Kenobi added and gently pet Anakin’s hair to the side. It would have reminded him of his own mother, if her fingers weren’t so long and cold, “Unlike you, my little star. Gryffindor’s team truly does not deserve your efforts.”

He didn’t have the heart to remind her that it was technically Anakin’s fault that they threw the game and Ravenclaw won. Neither team had their hearts in it that day, though, and it had definitely been a shock to all of them when the Kenobi’s showed up to watch. At least they’d been impressed enough with him to still give him a place to stay. That had to count for something.

“The new broom must have helped.” He smiled.

“You know, I think it did. That’s what happens when you have the best of what money can buy, Anakin.” Mr. Kenobi sighed at Obi-Wan, “Usually.”

“Now, now, I believe our new guest warrants a special welcoming feast of his favorite foods!” Mrs. Kenobi said, “Why don’t we get your things and you can just simply come straight home with us?”

“Is that allowed?” He looked around at Obi-Wan as well as Satine for approval. He was pretty hungry and was starting to feel a bit cautiously optimistic at the promise of any foods he wanted. After all, they were filthy rich and if they were willing to share that money with Anakin, well, he might as well make something good of this whole mess. He bet Obi-Wan’s head would explode if afforded the opportunity to try a hot pocket.

“As long as you’ve got approval from a professor or prefect-” Satine started, but was promptly cut off as though she never spoke.

“Which Obi-Wan most certainly is that.” Mrs. Kenobi tutted.

“As am I.” Satine reminded them, but once again, they simply did not hear her. Obi-Wan’s mother’s lips twitched a bit, but she retained her bright glow as she reached out for Anakin’s hand. He accepted it, deciding he would get used to how cold they were.

“Well, I suppose I’ll see you in September.” Obi-Wan began to say to Satine.

“Right,” Satine nodded a lot, like she was flustered and Anakin squinted as he looked between the two of them. He wondered for a second if they were going to hug or something, but their arms remained at their side. It was weird, he knew for a fact that Cody had wrapped Obi-Wan in a headlock earlier and called it a hug, but it was still a hug. Anakin hugged Rex earlier. He didn’t see what the big deal was.

She cleared her throat after a moment of words unsaid, “Be sure to write when you can.”

“Of course, especially if you get- well, you know.” Obi-Wan shrugged and Anakin didn’t know and the Kenobi’s both stuck their noses up in suspicion. Mr. Kenobi’s long nose was flared as he looked down at his son that began to follow them. Had Obi-Wan’s eyes not been glued to Satine’s he might have noticed when his father’s large hand stuck out to catch him in the chest, preventing him from going on.

“-Uh uh uh, you’re not dodging your responsibilities, young man!” Mr. Kenobi wagged a long white finger at him. “You can apparate now and will do so from the station when you are finished assisting with loading and unloading. We’ve recommended you for bag duty again.”

Obi-Wan was clearly trying to stop himself from groaning at the thought.

“Get some muscles on those bones.” He poked his son with his stick.

“And don’t let us hear you were caught frolicking or lollygagging in any way.” Mrs. Kenobi added coolly, flicking her blue-grey eyes to Satine for the first time, “You’re practically an adult now that you’re 17. It’s time you acted like it.”

“Yes ma’am.” Obi-Wan said and nodded at Anakin, “I’ll see you later.”

“See you.” Anakin said with a sympathetic shrug. He did wish he could come with them, but Anakin supposed it was important that Obi-Wan keep things in order on the train. He knew from someone who usually caused chaos that the prefects were necessary to have on hand and that Obi-Wan was one of the best.

Mrs. Kenobi patted his hand as they walked down the hill with Anakin’s trunk and bags floating aimlessly behind them, “Oh, Anakin, I believe this is going to be a splendid arrangement. Someone of your caliber deserves the finer things in life. It’s about time you got to experience them.”

“Do you have a pool?” He blurted out, knowing it could sound rude, but was pleased when they only laughed.

“Try several.” Mr. Kenobi grinned beneath his beard, but it looked foreign on his lips, even if Anakin didn’t know much about the man, “It will indeed be refreshing to have someone around who can appreciate our way of life.”

With several pools, Anakin would at least try.

Maybe it was selfish, when his mother was missing and lost somewhere. However, he still vowed to find her and to see that she was safe and to unite their family. He knew in his bones that she would want him to be happy. She would always be his real home.

No matter how far she was.

***

Sometimes, a plan needed to be executed to the number in order to come out successful. It all depended on who the puppeteer was, of course. A true strategist knew when to bend the wills and patterns of the fates to adhere to the plan, of course, because not every variable could be accounted for with a third eye. No, it required flexibility at its finest. Even towards the end, he truly believed he might have been over. His position as Headmaster had been one he was ready to give up… For now.

No, there was much more he could do as a teacher.

And now, he accomplished two birds with one stone in a beautiful array of damage that Sidious couldn’t have planned more perfectly himself. Maul did as he did best and caused a chaos that disbanded trust between the Ministry and the school board as well as its students. While they would always try to slap a bandage on a gutted wound, they would find their results required much more than that when Sidious was hiding in the corner, putting poison to the casualties.

Letting them fester and bleed until the only thing that remained was an infected and unrecognizable gash that spread through the body, consuming and ultimately defeating its host from the inside out. That was the only way to get to someone, after all, but Maul was a physical being and would never understand the true power of the dark side.

Sidious had to see to that for a reason.

And all he wanted to do was destroy Sidious and his hard work and the work that had yet to come. It was brilliant, he had to admit, to turn the dementors against them. It was something he’d taught him long ago, of course, with the help of the night witch. But it had been executed brilliantly.

Instead, he proved himself the worthy apprentice for one last time where Tyranus had not, in destroying the very person that Sidious had his eyes on all year. Many knew now that the battle between Qui-Gon Jinn and Maul was a battle for Anakin’s very soul, but few understood just how terribly it had been lost. It was tragic, really. If Obi-Wan had died, they all would know. So for once, Sidious was glad for the boy’s survival.

There was still the matter of the girl, who would likely be a problem for Tyranus down the line, but that was something his apprentice reaped that he would need to sow. They could only delay the inevitable for so long. As it were, the girl could still provide some use in accomplishing Palpatine’s next feat.

He honed his sights on Obi-Wan Kenobi, who stood not quite touching but very close next to that muggle-born Satine Kryze. Like a damn vision, the sunlight cast a specific ray just to glow around him, symbolically highlighting why Sidious needed to get rid of him. Next to the holocron, he ran his finger around the rim of a chalice, a cup if you will, divine and extravagant though muddled with dust and a disguising charm to hide its true origin of where it had been won.

As it were, there was a fairly believable way of elimination arriving in his lap. Yes, Obi-Wan Kenobi would need to be removed from the story as he was in many ways, the final obstacle in his way.

“But first…” He drifted his yellow eyes across the room until he landed on the chest near the desk. He ran ghostly white fingers over the wooden finish.

He unlocked the latch and lifted the lid, drifting his eyes all the way down the hole that it hid until landing on its sole item: Shmi Skywalker, frozen in carbonite.

“What to do with you?”

#anakin skywalker #obi-wan kenobi #obitine #the clone wars #tcw #star wars #hpau #magical forces au

[kiwikipedia]

Hello again! Glad to see someone remember Cin Drallig exists! The poor Battlemaster could use some more content in the fandom :D Anyway what made you interesting in using him for your incorrect quotes and stuff and do you have any headcanons for him? Also will his Padawan Serra Keto from the old Revenge of the Sith video game be making any appearances in your work with Cin?

I LOVE CIN? HE’S JUST??? A CHARM??? ONE GRUFF, ANGY BOY FOR ME?? Cin easily makes my top 10 list of Jedi. Serra actually has shown up briefly in my Wolffepack Against Child Abuse Modern Star Wars AU in the second installment alongside Bene! 

ANYWAYS YOU ASK AND YOU SHALL RECEIVE HEADCANONS:

• Cin never got along with Qui-Gon Jinn, despite having an OK relationship with Dooku. The two of them clashed over a lot of things, and Cin specifically warned Yoda about Qui-Gon when he was pushing for Obi-wan to be his padawan. The two’s fights escalated to blows during and after Melida/Daan.

• Cin practically raised Kit, and as such, Kit looks up to him like an older brother-slash-father. Kit often comes to him still if he needs advice. Cin called him a clown when he came searching for courting advice.

• He also helped out with Bant and Nahdar when he could, and was the one who finished up Nahdar’s padawanship when Kit was called to the front lines.

• Despite the stories the Padawans tell the Initiates , though, Cin’s only strict and gruff when the kids have sabers in hand. Afterwards, he’s always willing to listen to their problems. Though he’s a bit shit at giving them good advice. It’s the thought that counts.

• Cin isn’t a master at all Saber Forms  in the same sense as those who master one form— such as Mace with Vaapad or Kit with Shii-Cho— but he is insanely dangerous since he can easily slip in and out of saber forms mid combat. Repeatedly.

• Not to say that he’s not a master in every form, because he is. but those who specialize in one form only take it a step up.

• Kit Fisto, Plo Koon, Agen Kolar, and Shaak Ti are his usual duel-mates, the five of them absolutely going feral when they’re out of sight of younglings and padawans because it gets dangerous. Cin throws lightsabers. It always freaks Kit out, though he should be used to it.

• Speaking of which, Cin’s a fantastic marksman and has a crazy throwing arm. Someone once asked him what kind of Saber Style it was and he just flatly responded “the Keeping Master Fisto Out Of Trouble” style.

• But yeah, the duels between Cin and any of those four get intense. Most duels between him and any of the masters get intense, though. It’s a good way to test one’s skills.

• He’s literally so indifferent to the nickname “the Troll” that the Order has given him, it’s hilarious. Some Initiate tried to use it as an insult to him and he basically just went “Okay, and?”

• Cin always carries more than one lightsaber on his body at one time. His usual, green one, two yellow shoto, and a blue saber-staff.

• He’s one of the best to go to if you have questions about lightsabers, since he works with them so much. He’s the one who builds all of the training ones, after all.

• He casually refers to the Temple Guards as his “kids”, which is why he’s friends with Plo. 

• During the Clone Wars the two would just go “how are your kids” “doing fine, and yours?” “Also well” 

• He also loves Bene and Serra as his own daughters , along with Whie as a son, as well, despite the boy not being his Padawan

• very much the type of dry-wit humor person. Deadpan snarker. It’s hard to tell if he’s joking if you don’t know him.

• He states that he’ll never get used to the strength of non-humans, as he’s been quite literally thrown by Shaak Ti, Eeth Koth, and Agen Kolar both in duels and on the few missions outside the Temple he’s done.

• Cin suggested that the clones should be trained in saber-work and offered to do it himself. It was put on the back burner, though the few times he’s not in the Temple and down in the Barracks, he’s offered to train the troopers there. Some, like the Commanders and a few ARCs took him up on the offer. And then realized the reason why some Jedi grimaced when his name was mentioned.

• Fives will forever say that ARC training was easier than Saber training with Cin. Battlemaster was a name well earned. Cin then told them the reason he was so hard on them was because he was cut for time, the Clones didn’t have years between leave to learn Saber Forms, so tuck your damn elbows in and adjust your feet, Hardcase.

• Surprising no one, the 104th and 91th troops picked it up faster than the others. Because of course the two would teach their men saberskills on the field. So Cin stepped up the difficulty level. It was fun— for him at least. 

• On that note, Cin suggests that maybe Wolffe should learn Vaapad from Mace and Shii-Cho from Kit when the war’s over. No risk of falling to the dark but he’d have all the unpredictability and speed from both forms.

• He considers the Coruscant Guard to be like his “nephews” in arms, since their job is similar to that of the Temple Guard— and he knows that when both groups can, the two Guard groups get to gether down at 79s for drinks and fun.

• Debated giving Fox and the CG shotos for protection, but eventually decided against it. (Which is a shame.)

• He’s very easy to fluster under that hard exerior and when he’s not teaching or fighting, something that— and here’s where my own personal ships come in and I apologize if this isn’t your cup of tea— Shaak Ti and Saesee Tiin take full advantage of. Shaak teases him relentlessly when she can. Calls him cute and just? He’s CG paint red. “I’m what” “You hard me” “hhhhhhhhh” 

• Saesee just. Picks him up from time to time? Easiest way to fluster him, just pick him up and he shuts up. Cin.exe has stopped working.

• A personal headcanon of mine that disregards canon, from what I know, is that the reason Cin couldn’t beat Vader was because he could quite literally feel the deaths of everyone in the Temple, and outside of it. With so many of his students, friends, and family dying, he was off kilter and easier to kill.

#I love the grumpy battlemaster #Cin Drallig #penguinkiwi headcanons #penguinkiwi analysis #heacanons #penguinkiwi answers stuff #TiAllig #TiAlliIn #SaeCin #Templarhalo tag #star wars

[clementineesotsm]

THE KING: ETERNAL MONARCH EP 12, My Appreciation and How It Made Me Feel

They walk into a church to pray and have a very sweet conversation, sharing stories of both respective parents. How my father met my mother, and how one of them passed away. Then both of them cheer each other saying “you’ve grown well” . This kind of relationship was what im looking for, because its not toxic and actually what people should be. Showing a bit of stoic approach in life. Despite of having such tragic past but they still trying their best to choose to be kind. Pretty much inspiring.

After some heartwarming scene, here comes the most tragic. Time stops for hours. All stops, only Gon is there moving. This is also 1 of my most fav scene in the series. They way they used Kim Sowol poems and Lady Nohs voice to describe the situation and how the words match everything was perfection. Especially this line of the poems “you promised that even if you go, you wont be gone forever. That is what you promised. I sit by the stream each day and think about something endlessly. When you promised that even if you go, you wont be gone forever were you asking me not to forget you?” The way Gon cried alone, the way he wipe his tears and smile again. He is alone in that moment of time. That is so sad. And also Gummy voice. I cried a river. Great job, this is well made.

After this moment of time freeze for hours, i believe Gon also now realized that his main enemy and the disruption was time. Even if he beat LR this time freeze still happens. Later hw will know that time will also will be much of help for him, with a big sacrifices. Then LR shifted his role into main enemy into a mediator only. This is my personal opinion though. But i love this idea

JTE finally saw the scar Gon have upon a lighting. Gon still not yet know why is this happening because he has it but JTE did not. I actually kind of love this insight from JTE when she said “the phrase we use when cursing bad people, ‘you deserve to be hit by lightning’ “ this is could be true. Because all people that hit by a lighting was doing something bad and play god? Yes, you deserve it.

Eps 12 surprised me with another thing such as “beheaded”. This words was the charm of this series because we heard it since the very beginning. Whether it is for a joke, or else for real to punished people. But i never imagine that the beheaded that he meant for JTE was a kiss on the neck?! Like wow?! In a Kdrama? 😎 the scene was well made and mature, it was not cheesy at all. It was great. My fav part was when Gon stop the kiss for a while to check on hows JTE reaction to him being inconsiderate, then its reciprocated and he continue. Speaking of impatience meet chivalry. Kudos to everyone! Esp how they show the woman reciprocated. Yes the woman also wants this. Stop only showing woman being all shy and seems to not thinking about this thing with her bf 😅 that’s impossible in real life.

I love the scene where LR saw cctv record where Luna taking his money and leave him pissed off 🤣 Luna is another kind of villain that actually make another crack on LR side. But also during the series aired, it cause a fuss because we saw many umbrellas there. Many theories about time loop etc made. But you know we are all a 🤡 and KES plays with us much 😬

Another crack, Gon moms doppelgänger acting up now. She hit LR head with a vass 🤣 but still LR us not going to let this woman died yet, he still pretty much have plan to play with Gon feelings because this woman has same face with Gon’s mom, i love the acting from both actors! Amazing. Themselves need to get an award for the best best supporting actors. LR line is really satisfying “why are these scars appearing here and there?”

PM Koo is here ya’all , after hearing the news about Gon and the “Queen” to be. In this scene i found another revelation, that i think, PM is having a sincere feelings to Gon. Its not just greed or ambition, that too, but also plus a real interest to man. I can saw her voice so down here, like a woman who just really got rejected and damn, she has a the scar! 😨

Damn! Another plot twist! After a few subtle clues, then they drop the bomb here. Lady Noh’s asked JTE about the war that happen when she is 17 ish, the war that broke in June 1950. I remember during this scene i googled it right away and goes “HAH?!” “WHAT?!” Damn! From Lady Noh’s words to JTE expression to the music all blend well to make the some serious plot twist and it blow my mind! So all this time he said to Gon she knew everything means she literally knew EVERYTHING!

How it made me feel:

👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼 speechless many time. Of how beautiful this series becoming. They level up themselves in terms of parallel scenes, music, plot twist, literature approach, script. And its getting darker but they manage to insert some light scene some jokes. Very smart i think. I love that since the beginning until now this series keeps making me open my eyes to see all that happend there and searching for the detail. Amazing.

Plot wise this is getting better, somethings we got confirmation some things still left unsaid. Im looking forward on how they could end this tragedy. The time stops, time freeze, was the best problem they added to it. Like, even when you can be together, whats the point? It will freeze forever. You are making your loved ones live in world like this. And you will be back to your natural self. Alone.

I love this seriously. The eps that i will remember even until years.

#the king eternal monarch #tkem #lee min ho #kim go eun #woo do hwan #jung eun chae #kim kyung nam #lee jung jin #kim eun sook #kdrama #beheaded #beheaded kiss #jung tae eul #lee gon #best chemistry ever #off with the head

[siennahrobek]

10 BBY

Luke had screeched so loud; it nearly blew everyone’s eardrums. The entire ship had rattled.

They had been on their little ship, some months after Kix had been sent away when Luke had awoken in the middle of the night, something stirring him in a way that he couldn’t quite sleep through. Annoyed, he had gotten up and searched for Ben, a little stuffed toy wrapped in his arms. He would like cuddle with Ben under his cloak, he always knew it was safe and warm there.

He hadn’t found Ben in the little space where the pullout bed usually was, so he reached out for the cockpit. The older man was sitting in the pilot seat. Usually, Luke would jump up into the copilot seat but…but somehow it was occupied.

Which was impossible.

They were in the middle of space. The ship hadn’t even made contact with a planet or another ship in days. There was absolutely no way that Luke hadn’t seen this man in their little ship before.

He had long hair, partially pulled back, with cloaks a bit similar to Ben’s. He was insanely tall, at the very least to Luke’s standards. His wore an expression Luke couldn’t quite decipher. But then he realized a few other things.

The man was blue.

The man was see through.

Luke screamed at the top of his lungs.

Ben jumped and spun around and upon seeing Luke, cursed. The light blue man just scowled at Ben which made Luke even more upset. He shouldn’t be angry at Ben. There were already too many mad at Ben for reasons he didn’t even know. Here this man was, on their ship, showing displeasure with Ben. That was incredibly rude.

“Luke!” Ben called as he leapt for the boy, immediately wrapping him up in his cloak. The screaming stopped at least, and Luke shoved his face into the older man’s side as tight as he could, everything else shrouded in the quiet and pleasant darkness that Ben’s robe provided.

“What is that?” Luke demanded in a muffled voice, keeping his face deep into the layers of cloth and cotton of Ben’s clothes.

Ben just sighed and shifted, opening his cloak so that Luke couldn’t see the other being, but Ben and Luke could see one another. He looked down at him, his eyes soft and patient. “You remember what I said about the Force and death?”

“There is no death, there is the Force,” Luke quoted perfectly. The pleasant trill from Ben’s pleased feeling ran down the boy’s spine, making him even happier with himself. He was a good student; Luke had vowed he always would be. He had studied everything Ben had given or told him as much as he possibly could. But if that was what Ben was bringing up, what did it mean? “Of course,” he nodded and then paused, not entirely sure if his next question was the correct one. His nose scrunched up. “Is he…is he the Force?”

That sounded wrong and weird.

Ben just laughed lightly, and Luke couldn’t help but brighten, a smiling forming on his face. He loved making Ben laugh, it was a rare enough occurrence without Luke’s help. Ben shook his head though as he spoke. “No, beacon, he’s not the Force. That is Master Qui-Gon Jinn,” he clarified, unwearyingly. “He was the teacher who taught me to be a jedi.”

“I thought that was Master Yoda,” Luke asked with no small amount of caution, shifting to bring his fingers to the edges of the cloak, pulling them back barely enough to peek through the entrance, looking at the ghost with a highly suspicious stare. The being, very tall, he noted, was watching Ben curiously with a raised eyebrow. But at Luke’s statement, he almost even looked offended.

“I had many teachers since I was very small,” Ben assured, keeping his gaze on Luke rather than the blue man in front of them. “But Master Jinn was my master for over ten years. It was more of a personal relationship, I would travel with him, we would do missions together, and he would teach me all he could about being a jedi and the Force.”

“That’s a long time,” Luke muttered, thinking about how little time he had been with Ben. Would he travel with Ben for over…what was it? Ten years? That seemed like a long time, longer than he was right now. He couldn’t imagine not being with Ben now. Would he have to leave Ben someday? Luke didn’t think he wanted to, not for a long time, if ever. “So, you and him, were like you and me?”

Ben hesitated. “A little.”

He wasn’t sure if he liked how Ben said that. “You said the Jedi were gone,” he accused, still keeping one eye on the blue man. “And why is he blue? Why can I see through him? People aren’t usually see through.”

“The Jedi…are gone,” he said, hesitating on his words. He bit his words and Luke knew that he was doing that sad thing where all he could feel was grief, even though Ben’s shields were unbreakable. It was just something Luke could feel. He didn’t even think Ben knew that he could. “Master Jinn, died and became one with the Force but he has an ability where he has been able to speak with me.”

Luke thought about this for a moment. Okay, that sounded a little weird but at least it was some kind of explanation. With what he knew about the Force, virtually anything was possible, even blue beings one could see through. “I’m ready to leave now,” he announced and straightened himself, letting go of the edges of Ben’s cloak.

Ben nodded and took away his cloak, wrapping it tightly around himself again as Luke shifted away from him and brushed off his clothes. Someone chuckled. Luke was pretty sure it was the ghost. He walked up to the ghost, staring up at him with a stern stare. Master Jinn met his gaze. “You’re in my seat.”

Behind him, he heard Ben choke on a snort.

The man looked down at him, somewhat amused but otherwise, Luke wasn’t entirely sure what he was thinking. He could figure this weird man out, for certain. And he would figure out what he wanted with Ben. Or him. Or anything. “My apologies, young one. Would you like me to move?” he asked, moving as if there was wind around the cockpit. His own cloak kind of blew around.

Okay then.

Luke just shrugged, carelessly. He didn’t need the seat. Perhaps he could learn more without drawing suspicion. “It’s fine I guess, for now,” he said and turned back towards Ben. He didn’t even pause before he climbed up onto the older man’s lap, tucking himself to his chest and under his chest.

Ben barely reacted, just steadied Luke so he was comfortable and draped his arms around him. Luke waited patiently for the conversation to begin again. Would they just continue to talk about what they were before he had come inside? He wanted to know, for sure.

The ghost master choked on…Luke wasn’t sure what he was choking on. He was a ghost.

“So…” Luke started before anyone else could try to jump in, eyeing Qui-Gon warily. If they weren’t going to talk about anything, Luke would have to make his own conversation. “You were Ben’s master. What can you tell me about him?”

Perhaps this was a good way to learn more about Ben from an outsider’s point of view. It wasn’t often he got to meet any of Ben’s friends or family. He had a feeling it would probably be a rare occurrence, if not a possibility he would ever get again. Ben always said he should take advantage of any opportunities for intelligence gathering. So, he would take advantage.

Master Jinn laughed. “So much, little one. So much.”

6 BBY

“Can you tell me about my mother, Ben?”

The question had even surprised Luke to an extent, but Ben answered anyways, with the consistency of his smooth calm voice that always made him feel like things would be alright. Luke had always been interested in his father, since he was a Jedi and Ben actually knew him well. Talks about his mother weren’t nearly as in depth but sometimes Ben would mention things, usually things that Luke did or said that reminded him of her. Luke’s own questions were usually fairly specific about her. For some reason, he was feeling more curious than usual. “She was a queen when she was a teenager, of an entire planet.”

“No way.”

A whole planet, when she was his age. That seemed impossible.

“Yes. And she saved her people at the time too. She later became a Senator in the Republic,” Ben nodded quietly. Between his education on Tatooine and the bit more extensive training and schooling that Ben gave him, Luke knew about the Republic, a government that, although not by any means perfect, was leagues better than what they had currently. Certainly, better than their current Empire. “Your mother was the representative of Naboo.”

He had heard of it before, although a bit vaguely. A small, beautiful planet full of water and grass and two species of beings native to there. The Gungans and the Naboo. There were intense differences and at one point, had been fairly at odds with one another. Ben said they could never go there. It was much too close to the core for one thing but there was an interest that the Empire’s leaders had in it that made visiting dangerous. It was a tad disappointing; Luke had always wanted to go to as many planets as he could. It would have been nice to visit his mother’s home planet. Even if he had never really known her.

“Was she good at it?”

“Quite,” Ben nodded, his expression calm and even. But Luke knew better. He knew talking about the past, about the people he used to know and care about was both beneficial and difficult. He would talk about it, if Luke asked, and sometimes he even liked speaking of it. But that didn’t make the memories any less difficult to bear and speak of. “She was persuasive and beautiful and passionate. She did her best to keep democracy alive. She would have loved you so very much.”

Luke knew, distantly, that he had never known her, that she had died giving birth to him. Should he feel guilty? For causing her to die?

“Did my father die after?”

“Right before actually,” Ben stiffened, the way he always did when he talked about the demise of Anakin Skywalker, Luke’s father. “He always tried to protect her, as much as he could. I am unsure how he would have barred her passing.”

“He loved her,” Luke mumbled, playing with his fingers.

Ben’s response was haunted in a way that only Luke could identify, something secretive and terrible and sad, like he knew something and would never tell anyone. That kind of faithfulness was something Luke inspired to have. But there was something about it, just, something. “He loved her more than anything else in the galaxy.”

For some reason, Luke didn’t like the sound of that. He wasn’t sure why. The way Ben said it, like Luke’s father would have burned the entire galaxy down for his lover seemed like it should be romantic, that kind of loyalty, but it rather made something sink in his chest, his heart shivering in the cold of the thought.

“Have you ever been in love?”

The question seemed to catch Ben off guard, as though he wasn’t entirely expecting that from the boy. Luke couldn’t imagine any of his stories about love would end happy and well, considering he had ended up alone with only Luke for company.

“Uh…yes,” he answered, tentatively. “A few times actually.”

Luke perked and leaned forward eagerly, his eyes shining in curiosity and the simple need to know more. “Can you tell me about them? They must be amazing for you to fall in love with them.”

Ben’s chuckle was light and a tad awkward. “They were amazing, some of the most remarkable and fiercest women I have ever met. They were strong and stunning in their own, induvial ways.”

The boy listened in rapt attention as Ben explained those that he had once loved. He always spoke of them rather fondly, so Luke imagined none of them had disliked him at the end of their courtships or whatever they did. He spoke of a young girl he wanted peace and fought with everything she had to achieve it. He told Luke about the Duchess of a planet, about her wit and tongue. About her snark and logic and passion, her drive for peace and her convictions for pacifism. Although it sounded nice, as peace always did, Luke had a hard time thinking that it would actually work. He told him about a Jedi friend that he used to hold hands under the lunch table with. Luke laughed at that; it sounded like something he would like to do with someone, something close and simple. It wasn’t anything too fancy, just friends that loved each other. He told Luke about her strength and own drive for justice. Her ability to do anything and her skills that surpassed his own. For some reason the conversation tapered off after that even though there had to be something else.

It would be several weeks afterwards that Luke would find the crystal. It wasn’t a kyber crystal, but it was very warm. It had fallen out of Ben’s cloak when he asked Luke to grab it for him. He picked it up and carried it with him on his way back to Ben. They had a few hours to spend on a planet and neither was about to waste it.

“Thank you, Luke,” Ben murmured as he took the cloak and put it on, easily. It was such a practiced motion, completely fluid. Luke hoped that one day he would be able to do that as well.

“This fell out, Ben,” he said, offering the crystal.

Ben stared at for a long moment and for a minute, Luke thought he would not even take it. But then his eyes softened, and Luke almost thought that he would start crying. He took the stone in his hand and curled his fingers around it for a second before opening them back up to looked at it. “You want to know what this is?” he asked, meeting Luke’s gaze with a faint smile. Something quiet and soft.

He just nodded in response. Of course, he did.

“It is a warming crystal,” Ben explained tenderly and gestured for Luke to touch it. The feeling was beautiful. He knew it was warm, but it was like with Ben’s presence, with his words, it changed into something that heated something other than physical, like it reached into his heart to give it a comfy hug. “One of my dearest friends gave it to me before she died.”

Luke’s heart sank. That was so sad; it was a beautiful gift. His next guess was one that didn’t feel completely out of the blue, it felt right when he said it. Ben didn’t talk about just anybody with that tone. That tone that was wistful and tender. For some reason, Luke felt like he knew who it had been. “Did you love her?”

“Yes.”

“Which one?” Luke had a quess.

“What do you mean?”

“Was is it the girl you liked as a teenager? The one you used to hold hands with?”

The older man’s curious and mildly surprised glance was somehow vaguely amused and impressed that he had somehow guessed correctly. “Why yes, Luke, you would be accurate. She is the one who gave it to me. Siri Tachi.”

“Were you in love with her?”

The boy was fairly certain he knew the answer.

There was a distant look in Ben’s eyes as he gave in to a miniature sigh. His voice was soft, knowing, but still hesitant all the same, like he wasn’t sure if he should have been admitting something like that out loud. “Once upon a time, perhaps.”

Luke wondered why life kept taking away the people Ben loved.

Would he end up being taken away from Ben too?

3 BBY

Meditation did not come completely easy to Luke.

Not like it seemed to come to Ben. He could slip into such a deep meditation Luke was nearly envious. Luke was better at some of the more physical things. He was very strong with the Force. His katas were practically flawless at this point and his footwork was really amazing, at least that was what Ben had said. Luke often wondered if he was on par with what padawans should be doing at his age. Ben’s footwork was impossible to match. But then again, Ben had many years over him when it came to practice and experience. Which, he supposed, included meditation.

Luke would never stop trying though.

It wasn’t like it was extremely hard. Over the years, Luke had gotten a bit of a hang of it. Once he actually got into a steady meditation, it actually had helped him a lot. He did it quite a bit during their travels through space, although it was even more difficult then due to the cold nature of hyperspace.

He had done some moving meditations as well, but Luke didn’t think that was the problem. It was just something he would have to work at. Not everything could come naturally to him, even he knew that. One could be talented at one aspect and need to work harder at another. It wasn’t that complicated.

It was still a little frustrating sometimes, when he would see Ben do it so easily.

And it took so much more time for Luke to get to a comfortable state.

He shouldn’t be too hard on himself, Luke knew. When he did get into it, time meant very little, and he could meditate for hours.

Every time he got out of it and so much time had passed, he felt like it was a win.

He felt like he was getting better.

After such a long flight that lasted literally weeks, Ben and Luke were on a new planet. There was a very small Imperial presence, quite easy to avoid and Ben claimed they could stay here for a bit of time. They had lost Vader in their long travel, taking several hyperspace jumps to shake him off their tail and Luke would relish the time he would have planet side.

And he was older now. Ben trusted him by himself. It wasn’t that Ben hadn’t trusted him before, even when he was younger, but it was more that he was protective and Force – sensitives were hunted down with extreme prejudice. It was extremely frustrating, but Luke tried really hard not to blame Ben. It wasn’t always easy, but after a few close calls, Luke had done his very best to stay with Ben and understand his protective nature.

Besides, he was all that was left.

Once they had settled in planet side, they took a few hours to meditate, practically savoring in the living force where life and nature were abundant in all things around them. It was certainly a breath of fresh air.

He had noted the ground beneath him and the sky above, the animals rustling in the grass. The breeze sweeping through his hair. Reaching further he could hear and feel the music from the city, the steps of the civilians, the chatter and joy.

At some point, Ben had just chuckled, bringing Luke out of the meditation. He handed him a saber, Luke’s father’s, and a handful of credits with the suggestion he take a walk around the city.

He wasn’t one to pass that opportunity up.

Luke walked through the market, a bit of change in his pocket and his father’s saber tucked securely in his robes in a secret compartment where it could not be seen or swiped. He looked around with a bright smile, greeting near every person he came across.

He did a little window shopping and talked with some of the native citizens. He got a meloorun which tastes absolutely delicious, he even got one for Ben. Ben had probably had one before, he realized, but who knew, maybe he liked them and would appreciate the gesture.

Honestly, he was not sure how he had gotten into the mess.

In the end, he knew he should not have done anything. He wasn’t supposed to attract attention to himself. Not to get into fights. Especially not with people of power. Because people of power were petty and threw that power and weight around in whatever way they could. He probably had made it worse by punching the guy.

And of course, in typical Luke fashion, too late, he realized his mistake. He had just punched out an Imperial officer.

“Oh kark,” Luke muttered as he backed off. Already he was getting glances and stares from those surrounding him. Stormtroopers – not clone troopers, Luke always checked – caught sight of him and, of course, ordered him to stop.

He did the reasonable thing instead – he ran.

Of course, they would follow him, that was the only thing they were trained to do and Luke just kind of hated it. They were the idiots that were doing wrong and he’s suddenly the bad guy for punching some jerk in the face.

Using a blaster to shoot back, Luke failed to realize the intricacies of the city and after a terrible tumble through a few market stands, he lost the blaster. That didn’t stop the stormtroopers from firing at him though.

They had hit a storekeeper in the shoulder.

He had little choice. He had no weapon, the stormtroopers aim was so awful, they would just hit innocent civilians around him, even if they were scrabbling to get out of the way. He tucked his hand in his clothes and pulled out his father’s saber. The crystal whined at him, as it usually did when he had to use it, but he ignited the blade and whirled it around to a Djem So opening stance to deflect oncoming blaster fire.

Moving through the crowds, trying to draw the stormtroopers away, he tried to deflect blaster fire, only to so often find himself accidently grazing passing and scrambling people with the saber blade, a curse and an apology accompanying each time.

He was intently relieved once he had finally reached the city limits where the people population had thinned to somewhere he could work with. There were only a few of them, so easy to take down. Taking a stance, he smirked and let them come to him.

Making quick work of the couple of storm troopers, Luke sighed and tucked away the saber again, cloaking himself and putting up the hood.

Ben was going to have a field day with him.

***

Ben, in fact, did have a field day with him.

He took the lecture as well as he could, knowing that some of it, in the end, had been some of his fault. He felt the worst telling him about accidently injuring the civilians, even though Ben seemed to know most of it.

In the end, Ben just raked a hand across his face with a small sigh and they boarded their ship. Luke had thought for sure they would leave, but Ben just went to another part of the planet, something with tall grass and even taller trees, spread out less than most of the forests Luke had seen.

“What are we doing here?” he asked hesitantly.

“Take the saber,” Ben just ordered and exited the ship.

Luke did what he was told and followed him. They walked for nearly an hour into the forested area until Ben finally stopped. As he did, he turned to face Luke. “What…. exactly are we doing here?” he asked, glancing around.

“These trees? Civilians,” Ben said, patting one of the small trunks.

Luke just shot him an unimpressed look.

Ben just put up a finger for a moment before reaching into his pocket and pulling out a piece of chalk. He then drew a face on the trunk of the tree. “There, this is a civilian.”

“This is weird,” Luke muttered under his breath.

“Our first exercise will be me and our friendly training bots, shooting at you,” Ben explained, pulling out several flying balls of pain from a bag. He didn’t think Ben had brought those awful little things with them.

Luke just groaned.

The first few hours weren’t so bad. The firing came from one side, like was being chased and Luke had to navigate the forest without touching the trees with his saber. It wasn’t a perfect simulation, as the trees didn’t actually move like civilians or other people would, but it was a start.

But then, as it grew darker and they continued to work, the exercise changed. While Ben was behind him with a blaster, the flying balls of pain were shooting from the front, a barrage of blaster shots, Luke found himself realizing not all of their shots were directed at him. Some of them were directed at the trees beside and behind him. Did he need to protect the civilians?

Luke leapt forward to deflect a shot that was meant for a nearby tree, shooting it back at the origin and making sure his saber didn’t even come close to grazing the bark. Behind him Ben’s shots no longer seemed to be aimed at him, but rather, all around and past him.

He didn’t ask questions.

It was nearly impossible to see by the time that Ben had finally called it off. After gathering what meager supplies they had, the two of them worked their way back to the ship and Ben told him to get some rest.

The exercise had confused Luke a little, but he found he had a lot more control and thought over the saber when he moved it. As he got into the ship, he grabbed his bag and was ready to head to his room. He stopped.

“Oh, Ben?”

The older man stopped and glanced over at him. “Yes?”

“I dunno if you like these but uh, I tried this today and I thought you might like one too,” Luke said, tossing the fruit over to him.

Ben smiled warmly as he looked down at the fruit. “I actually do like these, Luke. Thank you very much,” he added before turning to walk back out of the ship.

“Where are you going?”

The older man shrugged and didn’t stop. “It is a beautiful night. I’m going to sleep outside.”

Luke’s eyebrows scrunched up and he glanced at his room, tucked away in the corner of the ship. With a grin, he grabbed a pillow and blanket and ran off after him.

Present PAst

Umbara was even darker than Luke had originally anticipated.

He nearly regretted not keeping the helmet.

The Force was clear – this was it.

Luke felt both mildly prepared and completely hopeless when it came the next events. He had been in plenty of conflicts before, countless firefights with stormtroopers, pirates and smugglers alike. He had even fought a few droids but nothing like this. It was dark and cloudy, and he felt like he was constantly choking on smoke and hate and death.

Whether Ben had recognized it or not, whether Luke had recognized it or not, Ben had been preparing him for war.

It was like he knew.

Perhaps it wasn’t that too far off. One day, Luke had always known, that he and Ben would go to war. Whether it be the Alliance against the Empire or now, with the Republic against the Separatists, he knew he would fight in a conflict such as this.

The gunship he had gotten into, the one that brought him down had exploded soon after it had dropped them off, killing the pilot and gunner instantly. The deaths hit Luke harder than he would admit, forcing him to stumble on the hard ground below him. Upon steadying himself barely seconds later, he ignited his guardian’s saber, the bright blue light springing to life and casting a glow across his face.

He did his best to keep out of the way of the fire from the squad he was surrounded with; Waxer was the only one he specifically knew personally, but there were plenty of other soldiers around him that had come in any number of other gunships. He leapt to the front of one of the waves of troopers and took a Soresu stance, quickly spinning his blade to catch and redirect as many bolts as possible, that came near him and the others.

Never before had he realized how the lightsaber form would come in handy.

Luke would have to thank Ben a thousand times for all the practices where he had made him go through katas and defend against the little flying round ball of pain that would shoot at him constantly. Luke had spent more than just hours and hours doing those two things. He would spend just hours nearly every day going through katas. Fighting against the flying ball of pain every time he could, every time Ben shoved it in his face.

He had never been so grateful for that.

Because deflecting so many blaster bolts was so much easier when he didn’t have to think about it so much. His arm would reach on its own just to catch a shot, his legs would twist into something of a dance to get to the other end to protect a soldier. Most of his attention actually ended up being to make sure he didn’t accidently get too close to the troopers themselves.

Luke hadn’t realized it growing up, he wasn’t entirely sure if Ben had realized it either, but he had taught him how to fight alongside troops with blasters. Once upon a time, it was just to be wary of citizens and crowds but they way Ben had taught, it worked even better with those firing behind and around him.

Two sabers-width apart and behind, stay to the side, never fight head on so you could keep an eye on those behind you.

Strength surged through his legs and his torso and his arms. His legs would survive his arms in terms of strength while his torso would survive both. He kept this in mind as he danced through the troopers and the spikey plants of the terrain they were surrounded with. His eyes forward and back, barely moving his saber if he didn’t have to, thinking of the little tips and tricks Ben had said and taught him over the years.

If nothing else, Luke would always keep Ben’s teachings to heart.

There was nothing to be seen aside from the light of the blaster bolts coming at them, but Luke was rather lucky, able to reach out and just kind of know where they were. It helped with cannon fire, at the very least.

A couple of times he accidently found himself quite a bit further than the troops, taking down ships and cannons, not waiting for the soldiers. He ran along the ridge, swinging his saber with all his strength, slicing straight through one of the ships they used as cannon fire, the metal screeching as it broke apart and melted with the contact from the saber. The native that maned the canon shrieked even louder as they tried to escape his wrath.

It would take a few minutes for the troops to catch up. Luke didn’t remember exactly what he had said, but he would always distinctly remember the shrieking and scolding Waxer had laid out in his ear.

He felt a little bad for a moment; he was trying to protect them.

Although it had taken some time, it caught up to him. The feeling.

It was the death that had hit Luke harder than he was expecting. It was overwhelming.

Luke was quite a bit sensitive to the Force, just like his father before him, Ben had always said. They worked a lot on his shields over the years, trying to build them up as much as they could, to keep the overwhelming feelings out, but honestly, Luke hadn’t been expecting this. Logically, he knew, even when he got on the gunship before, there would be a terrible amount of death. He knew that. He thought he was prepared for it.

He wasn’t.

He wasn’t prepared at all.

He was choking on it.

It was affecting his performance, even he knew that. It was hard to concentrate on the task at hand when so many people were dying around him.

To his complete and utter relief, it wasn’t long after the choking feeling of the mortality around him started, that they pushed back the enemy forces into a most likely very temporary reprieve. But Luke would take what he could get. He sheathed his guardian’s saber and clipped it to his belt, sliding down the wall of one of the trenches, trying to catch his breath.

All he caught was the death milling around.

There were a few soldiers shuffling around him but the closest one, sitting next to him, had asked him if he was okay. Or at least, that was what Luke thought he said. His ears were buzzing a bit from all the explosions that had gone off. The explosions that were still going off.

“It’s…it’s the death,” he whispered to the soldier next to him, gagging as if that would help the feeling in his head, in his chest, in his heart, slowly coiling around him like an oily black darkness, trying to snuff out everything. “I just…I thought my shields were enough, I’ve been working on them so hard, I thought I would be okay but… but it’s just…so overwhelming,” he strangled out.

Luke barely recognized Waxer amongst the troopers that were around him. He and those few others stared at him before exchanging glances amongst themselves. They all seemed rather hesitant to speak. He couldn’t see anything and with his ears whirring, he couldn’t tell who had spoken next. “Are you…are you telling me you can feel it when someone dies?”

Tears were slipping from his eyes against his will and running silently down his cheeks, even they felt painful. He wanted Ben, just wanted Ben to help him. His chest hurt. His head hurt, he couldn’t quite get a hold of all of these feelings and emotions. He needed help. It was just all too much. He had always felt too much and it was so hard to do it by himself. “Yes,” he murmured, nearly inaudibly.

Something passed between the soldiers that Luke didn’t understand. It was a feeling, or, rather, an entire mob of feelings, intertwined and tangled within one another with a range that he couldn’t even begin to list.

“Can we do anything to help?” one of them asked, hesitantly.

“Aside from dying,” another grunted.

Luke tried to laugh but nothing really came out. Ben could help, he was probably the only one who could, but that wasn’t their fault. It wasn’t their fault that their general was in an unexplainable coma up in space, safe on his ship, surrounded by everyone else. It wasn’t their fault that their general wasn’t here to help and protect and plan with them. It wasn’t their fault that Luke decided he could play war and try to keep these men alive.

“I’ll be okay,” he assured but he himself wasn’t entirely sure if they bought that. No wonder Ben had liked these guys so much, they were smart, loyal, observant. “I just gotta strengthen my shields,” he explained and tried to sit up in an attempt for a quick meditation. It wouldn’t be much, it may barely help, but it was better than nothing at all. “I haven’t…I haven’t been around this much death at one time,” he grimaced.

Their expressions were sympathetic.

“I had been a baby when everything was gone, when the galaxy went to ruin,” the words came out of Luke in a stream he couldn’t quite stop. “I had been so used to Ben’s grief, as much as he tried to hide it, I thought I knew what it felt like. He had been through so much, felt so much death, I thought that since I was so close with him, so in tune with his feelings, I knew.” He shook his head. “I didn’t. Not at all.”

“Ben?” one of the troopers whispered quietly.

“General Kenobi,” another corrected. “That’s his padawan.”

Perhaps it was just a wishful moment, something he just wanted so bad, he didn’t correct him.

Because did he ever want to be that.

“We have a few minutes before the next wave hits,” Waxer said, crouching beside Luke, his brows scrunched up tightly in concern. There was a new type of apprehension and understanding in his expression, like Luke had given him some kind of secret. He didn’t know what kind it was. “You stay here, meditate or whatever you need to. I’ll let you know when it is time to move.”

Luke felt a little bad but was grateful for the gesture.

Swallowing down everything he felt, Luke kneeled on the ground, his hands on his legs as he took a deep breath, weaving his shields together like an indestructible tapestry, reaching out into the Force for anything, everything. For help, assistance, protection, knowledge, hope.

He could feel those around him, the soldiers slowly dying from mortal wounds, unable to be helped or healed. Luke shifted his presence to them and tried to visualize all those that he could, as if he was right next to them, holding their hands and whispering assurances as they passed into the Force. He couldn’t stop them from dying anymore, but he could ensure that they would not die alone.

No one should have to die alone.

Luke hadn’t completely known how long it had been before Waxer shook him out of his meditation, gently. They had to beat down this new wave of the native militia to clear out the forces from the main 212th’s forces attacking the capitol.

Dusting himself off, his guardian’s saber flew to his hand as he jumped from the trenches and ignited the blade.

“There is no death,” he recited like a mantra as he took a breath, narrowing his eyes and his determination curling up in his chest. “There is the Force.”

Something shifted in Luke’s style as he helped defend Waxer’s platoon from the attack. He kept note of his position at all times, as well as any of those around him and always tried to stay at the very least, in sight of Waxer himself, who was absolutely determined to get Luke through this.

Amusing, Luke had thought. He was doing the same thing.

The final wave had been mostly stragglers from the others, in a desperate attempt to come up on the rest of 212th with Cody in the lead towards the Capitol. But Waxer’s platoon was highly competent, as was much of the Republic’s military and it had Luke in somewhat of an awe.

The Empire’s stormtroopers had the numbers to virtually overwhelm anyone and sure, they were trained, but they were nothing like this. They had nothing on the clone troopers and for Luke, that was rather a sight to behold.

Upon utterly destroying the downed and grounded gunships of the Umbarans with his saber, they were guaranteed another reprieve as the enemy forces dwindled down to barely anything.

Luke met a few of them in the trenches, Waxer several meters away, talking on his commlink.

“Not bad kid,” one of the troopers – Duster – grinned at him, nudging Luke with his shoulder. “For your first time alongside the 212th.”

“Do you have any real battle experience?” another asked.

Luke shrugged. “Not with troopers like you guys. But Ben has been teaching me lots of things.”

“Ben…do you…you mean General Kenobi?”

The boy nodded. “Yes. It’s kind of a long story,” he admitted.

“You’ll have to let us know how you got tangled up with the General without any of the 212thknowing,” Wish added, clapping Luke on the back. He nearly fell into the muddy wall before him. Luke just laughed.

“When this is over, perhaps.”

“You did good, Luke,” Freefall agreed. “But I suppose we shouldn’t expect any less from General Kenobi’s padawan.”

Something stuck in Luke’s throat even though he knew there wasn’t anything there.

“We got new orders, boys,” Lieutenant Waxer said, trudging through the trenches from behind them. He had ended his call and from what Luke could tell, it hadn’t been a good one. He looked terribly sad, and it turned Luke’s stomach inside out. “We got some coordinates where the natives are coming up our backside.”

The orders went through the ranks as Waxer continued, his face twisting in grief and anger. “We are warned that they are dressed in trooper armor, hoping to surprise us.”

Fury flared up from the troopers as Luke glanced around, narrowing his eyes warily.

“That woulda been the 501st,” one of the troopers, Arrow, realized, lowly.

“They’re dead,” Wish mumbled.

Waxer just nodded silently. “There is nothing we can do for them now but make sure their sacrifice was not in vain. We take down those who desecrate their armor and protect the rest of the 212th. Understood?”

“Yes sir!” came a multitude of shouts.

And then, they were off towards the given coordinates.

Luke’s suspicion only grew from there. He didn’t take the lead per say but he was up there, in front, waiting and watching. Nothing about this scenario felt right. Waxer stayed close to him as the platoon creeped forward. His heart was pounding, harder and harder, anxiety rising.

They traveled a little further, closer to the coordinates.

Luke didn’t know who had started the firing, but it happened all at once. He watched for the briefest moment at the fire, the type and color. Then he reached out in the force, taking a deep breath, and keeping his free hand aloft.

Ragepanicfear.

Determinationangergreif.

This was it.

Those weren’t Umbarans.

“Stop!” Luke yelled at the top of his lungs, his blade swinging out just to show that he had one, using the Force to propel himself upward towards a ridge for a better view and vantage point. Perhaps…perhaps…

“Ceasfire! Ceasefire immediately!” Waxer shout out, lowering his own weapon as he relayed Luke’s order without question. His trust in him made Luke’s heart squeeze. He had been climbing the ridge towards him, probably having the same thought as the little jedi. Luke jumped in front of him as he got to the top, blocking a blaster bolt from the other side.

Waxer flinched.

The firing slowed to a stop. In the end, it had barely been a few minutes, but it was enough. Some were dead but Luke knew it could have been a lot worse. It could have been so much worse.

It probably had been, the first time around.

Waxer’s platoon had stepped back, leaning against some of the trees and each other for support, trying to make sense of what had just happened. Waxer and Luke glanced at one another, neither seemed to look particularly optimistic about the outcome.

They got down from the ridge, walking through the plants towards the opposing side. A few soldiers from the front lines on each side walked towards one another, shocked and terrified.

“Where is your leader?” Luke called out, looking around.

There wasn’t an answer.

“You heard him,” Waxer shouted out, his eyes narrowing into something that would not be questioned. “Where is your commanding officer?”

“Rex!”

The familiar jaig eyes and kama came through the forest as he took off his helmet. He did not seem particularly surprised at the sight of Luke, but he didn’t look very happy about it either. He walked towards them, the only emotion he showed was a shimmering anger. It wasn’t very obvious, but Luke could tell, he could feel it, no matter how much Rex tried to hide it.

“Tell me,” Luke asked, his voice low and irate. They all knew it wasn’t at them but that didn’t stop some of the 501st from wincing or glancing away. “Who gave you the order?”

“It was General Krell,” Captain Rex replied immediately, staring at Luke. His voice even sounded numb, if that was a thing one could hear. “He told us there were Umbarans that were disguised as troopers. We thought the 212th were dead.”

Luke’s eyes narrowed as he took a step back and stood taller. “General Krell is the traitor,” he murmured, crossing his arms. He couldn’t believe it. The first battle was the one that Boil had told him about, probably the exact one that Waxer would have lost his life. What were the odds of that? The Force, Luke knew, because of course. He shouldn’t have been surprised, there was a reason for everything. He just hadn’t quite thought of it.

“What?” Rex asked, his voice catching on the word. He didn’t sound particularly happy with Luke which the latter could understand. There was no warning from him, but Luke hadn’t actually known that this had been the invasion that involved the former jedi conspirator. “You suspected a traitor?”

“I knew Waxer had died on a dark planet due to a case of friendly fire on the word of a traitor,” Luke explained vaguely, not backing down from Rex’s stare. He had not known it was this one. Suspected, maybe. The Force had certainly given him warning of something, but it was just an alert of caution, something vague and unexplainable. Not something specific that Luke would know. It was just a bad feeling, a warning of some kind.

Waxer just paled as he realized what exactly had happened the first time around and how it had happened. He would have died if Luke hadn’t been there. Somewhere, he knew that he had, during the war. When Luke spoke, it seemed very obvious that many of them hadn’t survived and Waxer knew himself specifically because he wasn’t with Boil but he didn’t realize this had been the planet where it had happened the first time.

How close he would have come.

“I didn’t know who it was at first,” Luke admitted, finally looking down for a moment in thought. “But I believe it is fairly clear now. General Krell told you and us the same thing with the hopes of everyone just killing one another,” Luke said, his hand curling around the hilt of Kenobi’s saber tightly. Even though it was on his belt, clipped securely, his grip was so tight he nearly thought he would have cracked the metal of the saber. He had to think of a plan and think of it fast. They wouldn’t have a lot of time, he imagined. He didn’t know Krell, anything about him really, but Luke doubted he would be much of a match for a fully trained jedi.

He wasn’t even really a padawan.

“Why? Why would he do this?” one of the troopers surrounding them asked, desperation coating the sound of his voice. From the 501st, he realized, but Luke didn’t know who it was specifically.

That was a question, to be certain, Luke mused. Personally, at this point he cared very little about the why. He was a traitor, one that had inspired such regret and anger from Boil and Ben, Luke had very little interest in the reasons why a traitor betrayed them. Why he had sent forces to murder one another.

“What are you thinking, Luke,” Waxer nudged him gently.

Luke caught Rex’s gaze again, narrowing his eyes. He didn’t need to reach towards Rex’s mind for intentions to know what he was thinking. “He’s thinking the same thing, aren’t you captain?”

Everyone went to look at the captain as he narrowed his own eyes to match the young jedi. “That is highly treasonous,” Rex replied, his voice just a bit more than a mumble.

“But it is what must be done,” Luke affirmed with a nod and Rex seemed to agree silently, just exhaling quietly. “We will need to move quickly, I think.”

“Yes,” Rex approved. “We cannot allow General Krell to sabotage the rest of the invasion…if that is what you think his goal is.”

“I do,” Luke replied, his heart pounding. This was a lot bigger and a lot more dangerous than Luke had thought this whole scenario and battle would be. He had been anticipating battle droids and the local militia, definitive enemies. Not traitors, people they were supposed to trust.

They were supposed to be able to trust the Jedi.

The thought of Krell being a jedi, at any point in time, felt unfeasible.

“We still need Forces to continue to cover Commander Cody and the rest of the 212th’s back,” Waxer noted, glancing between the two, a bit anxious. “We can’t have any real Umbarans from sneaking up.”

“You and your platoon can continue your mission,” Luke suggested quietly. “I will be going with Rex and the 501stback to Krell to assist in the arrest.”

Waxer just stared at him, with a bit flat expression and no small amount of dead pan. “I’ll have Freefall lead them back,” he announced.

Freefall looked accepting but a tad confused. Luke opened his mouth…

“And before you say a word,” Waxer put up his hand to stop Luke from speaking. “Don’t think for a second, I’m going to let you go without me. Pretty sure General Kenobi would have my head if I left his padawan commander alone to fight off a jedi general traitor,” he said, furrowing his brows but his lips played in some kind of vague amusement.

Luke just rolled his eyes. A few of the others around them looked at him with a bit new interest.

“I’ll go tell some of the men,” Captain Rex muttered after giving them a few weird looks before he jogged away, to where most of his troopers were trying to calm themselves out of the ordeal that had nearly just occurred. The few already around them, listening, were already ready to obey.

“Didn’t realize General Kenobi had a padawan,” one of the 501st troopers said, with a bit of a raised eyebrow as he gave Luke a look as if he was sizing him up. Luke wondered how he did measure up with what they knew about their own leaders and the jedi they knew.

“He always seems to have his hands full with General Skywalker and Commander Tano.”

“I…I’m not really a padawan,” Luke pointed out, uncomfortably, keeping close with Waxer and the couple of 212ththat stayed with them. “It is bit complicated, though.”

Most of Waxer’s platoon, under Freefall’s command, left the area to hold the ridge a bit back, covering Commander Cody and the bulk of the 212th’s flank. The majority of the 501st present that had been sent with them to fight in the conflict that ended up being a friendly fire incident, were sent back and told to stay outside of the base, keep with the others that had stayed behind, and not do anything until orders were given. They were warned of conflict that would almost definitely arise. No one was given much information aside from that.

No one was entirely certain how this would pan out.

As Luke, Captain Rex, and Lieutenant Waxer, alongside several other troopers, made their way back to the airbase that the 501st had claimed, Luke mulled over possible plans. Rex and Waxer were talking amongst one another as well, making their own. He didn’t think that either of them thought it would be easy, but things were rarely simple.

“What kind of saber does he have?” Luke asked suddenly.

The two leaders glanced at him, cutting off their conversation. Luke felt a little bad for interrupting them. “He’s got two…. or four, depending on how he uses it. There are four but you can put two together to make a double ended staff,” Rex reported. “At least, that is what it looks like.”

Luke nodded, reaching up to shake a hand through his hair. Man, he wished Ben was here. He could probably kick this guy’s ass easy. “Even if we surprise him, overwhelm him, even if we have enough, he will probably flee,” he noted.

“He will most likely be stationed in the tower, where the communications are,” one of the troopers said, firmly. The others nodded in agreement. They were getting close, Luke could see the top of the tower now, even through the shrouded darkness and plants.

“The only way in or out is through the elevator,” Rex recounted, putting his helmet on again. “It’s not a very big room, we can probably get a dozen or so troopers in there. I’d like to get Jesse and Fives’ help in the arrest as well, it’s on our way up.”

“If he can’t get through the door, he could go through the window,” Waxer pointed out, pointing up to the tower. It did indeed have a large window that made up at least a third of the outside. “Jedi can do huge jumps from incredibly heights; he could make it. I’ve seen General Kenobi do some pretty insane leaps.”

“We could lose him in the forest,” Rex frowned as he mulled this thought over. “It’s dark and hard to see, if he wanted to escape, we wouldn’t be able to find him. He could pick us off.”

“Not if we use it to our advantage,” Luke replied, trying to think back to what things he had seen during the battle before. Even without the local militia and their cannons having tried to kill them, the native plants to the planet were nearly just as deadly. “You’ve seen those disgusting carnivorous plants that are just kind of, lying around?”

Everyone nodded, grimly. Rex seemed to get the idea. “We rumble any one of them up and if Krell gets close, boom, he’s at the very least unconscious.”

“Precisely,” Luke snapped his fingers.

“Do you think he will get away from us? From the building?” Waxer asked.

“I think it is a possibility for certain,” Luke nodded. “Ben has told me a lot of things over the years and taught me a lot of plans and strategies and tips on the behavior of opponents. Even some of the most hardcore and sadistic individuals will retreat if surprised or outnumbered too much, even if they have an extreme advantage. In this case, his four sabers.”

“Do you think you can beat him?” a trooper asked, slowing down a little.

Luke sighed but shook his head. “No. I don’t think I could beat him in single combat,” he admitted, although a bit reluctantly. No one ever really wanted to admit their faults or inabilities in any case, but Luke would not be a fool. “Don’t get me wrong, even on the chance of sounding cocky, I’m actually pretty good with a saber. But Krell probably has years and a lot more experience on me. I’ll be an asset, but I don’t think I can beat him.”

It wasn’t very comforting.

They made their way back to the base and those who had volunteered had marched with them into the building. On their way up, Rex had gotten Jesse and Fives out of prison, giving them back their armor and weapons. A bit surprised by the new Jedi, and a bit suspicious, Rex gave them a quick rundown of not only the General but Luke as well.

The whole, time travel bit had people staring at him like he had two heads, as it was fairly hard to believe, but Luke just shrugged it off. Everyone involved had a lot of questions, since Waxer and Rex were the only ones who knew about it and Luke assured that plenty of questions would be answered later, if they survived this, of course.

As they came up, Luke kept Ben’s saber in his hand tightly, although not yet ignited, ready to burst out the instant there was a wrong move made by their opponent.

“General Krell, you are being relieved of duty,” Rex announced as he walked in, Waxer on one side and Luke on the other. The troopers they had come with quickly circled the besalisk, readying their weapons to fire at a moment’s notice.

Krell began to turn, folding his hands behind his back, casually. The gesture really rubbed Luke the wrong way; this whole being’s presence rubbed him the wrong way really. How casual he was being, like he saw this coming. It was possible, Luke supposed, but it didn’t aggravate him any less. “It’s treason then,” the low voice nearly chuckled.

“Surrender, General,” Rex added, unholstering his double pistols to point at the besalisk. Waxer already had his out and Luke had his guardian’s saber in hand, still not quite yet lit.

“You’re committing mutiny, captain,” the former jedi pointed out with a sly smile.

“Explain your actions,” Rex demanded but Krell’s attention turned elsewhere his eyes sweeping over the three of them. He seemed rather at ease for someone who had over a dozen blasters pointed directly at him, reading to fire. Luke hated the way he just brushed everyone else off like they were nothing to concern himself with.

“Ah, Kenobi’s new little padawan,” Krell crooned, mockingly with a menacing, sly grin. “I heard about you.”

“The captain told you to explain your actions,” Luke snapped, his lip curling and his foot stepping forward into a steady stance. He didn’t know exactly how Krell knew about him; Luke hadn’t even been around for more than a day, spending a couple hours on the Resolute, a few more on the Negotiator and the rest in battle, where he knewCommander Cody did not know that he was. He didn’t really think anyone had informed Krell about his existence, much less his presence on the planet.

“I figured it must have been someone elseto figure it out,” Krell shrugged his shoulders, his top arms rolling with them. His tone was so dismissive. “Creatures bred in some laboratory; they would never figure something like that out.”

That was literally one of the most ridiculous things Luke had ever heard.

“Surrender, General,” Luke demanded, gesturing to him with the hand that held Kenobi’s lightsaber. Krell glanced at it with ridge raised, curiously. He had something planned, something up his sleeve, Luke realized but his mouth continued where his brain told him something else. “You are under arrest for crimes against the Republic.”

It sounded so good; Luke had thought, he sounded so confident and sure of himself. And for the briefest of moments, he thought that perhaps Krell would have done the right then. He seemed to hesitate, like as if just knowing that Luke was training under General Kenobi, that would mean something.

He wondered if it did.

Luke almost hadn’t seen the blow coming. The only reason he had noticed it and hadn’t been cut down immediately was because Krell had taken the time to Force push the majority of the clones into the wall and ignite his sabers. Two, Luke had noted, double-ended.

The clones shouted and grunted as they hit the walls, luckily a force that didn’t kill or terribly injure them on impact.

Kenobi’s saber ignited and blocked Krell’s initial blow on mere instinct and he couldn’t be more grateful for it. Luke wasn’t quite physically strong enough for a blow like this, even though he knew the Force was helping with the push back. The pressure had shifted Luke’s feet back, sliding across the floor a bit, blue and green illuminating both of their faces.

Augh, his breath was awful.

Blasters had come up and began firing at the former general, so Krell had to move at least one of his sabers to block them, giving Luke a little more leeway. The boy ducked underneath one, slashing at the being’s side. He didn’t know if he hit a mark or not, but Luke just had to get away to regain himself.

Krell gutted through one of the soldiers and cut the head off another as he spun around, his eyes gleaming at Luke in some kind of weird interest and anticipation.

Luke had a bad feeling about this.

But just like he suspected, Krell crashed into the window and leapt from the building down to the forest below. They didn’t even take a moment to look down, rather glancing at one another as they all made their way down to the floor of the building.

By the time they had gotten there, the firefight had ceased and General Krell had disappeared into the nature of the dark planet. Luke had reignited the saber once they had run out, just in case, but were stopped by another trooper, one without a helmet and an odd tattoo covering some of his face.

“Dogma,” someone muttered. “Lower your weapon.”

Luke kept his guardian’s saber aloft and in front of him.

“I…I can’t do that. I’m doing my duty!” Dogma shouted, although his voice wavered. “You are all traitors!”

Luke stepped forward; Waxer reached out to stop him, but it was a half gesture. “Look, Dogma, is it? My name is Luke and I…I am a jedi. I…work with General Kenobi, and Krell? He is a traitor. He just killed dozens of your brothers, and we have to get through to him now,” he insisted, his voice stronger than he had ever heard it.

It didn’t really seem to change Dogma’s mind or anything, but it did give a few soldiers to tackle him into the ground.

“Put him in the brig,” Rex ordered as the rest of them continued their chase into the Umbaran forests.

The birds screamed in the mist darkness, calling out cries in a fairly consistent manner. The troopers had spread out in a grid, trying to find the wayward General. Luke followed closely with Waxer and Rex, alongside several other troopers, his saber in hand but not ignited. No need to attract any unwanted attention unless necessary.

“Anyone got anything?” Rex asked into his commlink.

“Ah negative, Captain,” a voice called through the comm on the captain’s vambrace. “We lost him,” the voice added with a bit of a resigned sigh. There was a pause. “Wait…”

Screams filtered through the communication device as the soldiers cried out in pain and death.

Luke stiffened as the trooper called out for them to hurry. Picking up their pace, they came to some cover where Rex put his fingers to a switch on his helmet to look through a filter for getting a better visual. “He’s coming,” he warned.

The soldiers quickly got into positions, readying their weapons for fire.

“I was using you,” Krell laughed, his voice echoing through the mist.

“Get him!” Rex yelled, spinning around towards the voice but it was coming from everywhere and nowhere at the same time. It was impossible to know where he was. Luke gritted his teeth; it was hard to concentrate in the Force, to find him with so much going on.

“You have all been my pawns and continue to be so,” Krell called out with some sort of tone of sick glee. “I can and you fell for it, continue to fall for it. You are so completely inferior.”

Jesse snarled.

“You’re a jedi!” Fives snapped, shooting up at the air where he thought the General may have been. Nothing happed.

But then.

Krell jumped down from out of nowhere and spun his blades around, slicing through several troopers. Shots were fired and he deflected them back at the original shooters. Luke desperately tried to batter them away from their targets.

“I am no longer naïve enough to be a jedi,” he announced, straightening himself and easily deflecting blasters as he moved through the forest. “A new power is rising, and I have foreseen it.”

Luke had found his opening as Krell rolled across the ground, temporarily putting his sabers away. He got a graze in before the besalisk reignited his own sabers and blocked. Luke’s soresu came in handy as he blocked a barrage of relentless blows.

“The Jedi are going to lose this war and the Republic will be ripped apart from the inside.”

Luke’s eyes widened. How did he know? How did he know?

Krell used this distraction to throw Luke off with a laugh. Waxer and a few troopers fired ceaselessly, to give Luke enough time to get up and regain himself.

“You’re a Separatist,” Rex snapped as he fired upon the former general.

Krell batted the blaster bolts back at him. Luke jumped in front to deflect them away, vaulting back into close combat with the four armed being.

“You’re working for Dooku,” Luke guessed.

It was a long shot, but Luke had heard plenty about the former Jedi who became a Sith Lord during the Clone Wars. And if there was one thing that Luke did know about Count Dooku, it was it seemed that he had a lot of underlings and apprentices during the course of the nearly four years of the war.

It was a guess, but it wasn’t a bad one.

Turned out, he wasn’t far off.

“Not yet,” Krell grinned as Luke spun around, trying to lead him away from the troopers. Rex was listening to someone in his commlink as the others around him were trying to fire at Krell without hitting Luke.

The two of them were stuck in a whirling of blades that made it very difficult, Luke barely keeping himself from being torn to shreds. He kept getting forced back and back.

He spared a glance at Rex who pointed towards a small, bumpy field behind him. A lone trooper stood amongst the lumps, waiting. Okay, so they had a plan then. Shouldn’t be too hard, to let Krell push him back like this. He was doing it anyways.

“You really think that Dooku is going to take someone like you to be his next apprentice?” Luke barely afforded the snort as he nearly got himself decapitated by Krell’s blade. “Can’t imagine he would want anything to do with you.”

Krell’s grin just widened into something fearsome and sinister. “I was going to drive the Republic from this planet, true,” he admitted, pushing at Luke harder and harder. His hands were sweaty, keeping a hand on his guardian’s saber was a bit difficult but the grips had certainly helped.

Luke ducked, nearly falling completely to the ground at one of Krell’s slashes. He rolled as the other one came down for his head. It gave him a moment to stand again. Using that moment and the Force, he pushed Krell back as much as he could into the field.

And ended up being pushed as well.

He hoped the troopers knew what they were doing. Luke really didn’t want to get eaten by this thing.

“But really, everyone knows about the Count’s interest in Kenobi,” Krell hissed, nearing his ear. Man, this guy’s breath was truly, truly something awful. Luke fought the urge to gag. “I wonder how interested he would be in Kenobi’s new pet.”

Oh kark.

The moment was a poor one and Luke felt rather embarrassed that it had happened. Krell force pushed him several meters, right into the poor soldier standing in the field. He and the trooper fell to the ground in a heap of a tangled mess of armor and limbs, failing to get themselves free of one another, both mouths full of quiet curses.

Krell laughed again and took a few more steps forward.

And the troopers’ plan worked.

The lumps were the carnivorous creatures and the soldiers had been steadily driving Krell towards that lone trooper, who knew exactly what was there.

Luke thought it had worked. It almost did. The carnivorous plant waved the former jedi around, splitting one of his sabers and then eating it. The besalisk fended off the barrage of shots from the other troopers wildly with a growl. Luke swung forcefully and cut off the arm of the plant, so it dropped Krell. He hit the ground hard, his saber flying several meters away.

Surrounded by a few troopers who had their blasters pointed at him, Luke stood with them, over the defeated besalisk. He was hemmed in, he had no weapon, there was no way out.

“Surrender Krell,” Luke hissed.

Something gleamed in Krell’s eyes.

Wrong. This felt very wrong.

Luke glanced around, trying to figure out and understand what was happening. “On guard!” he shouted out moments before the shooting started. The shooting hadn’t been from the 501st.

Luke cursed loudly and waved the saber around to deflect the shots, reaching out with the Force. There was nothing there. That meant only one thing.

“DROIDS!” he shouted at the top of his lungs, letting his voice carrying through the wind, carry through the Force. How had they gotten here? The Republic was fighting the local militias, he hadn’t known or even thought they would have droid backup. They didn’t have a plan for this. “Back to the airbase! Retreat!”

He almost felt bad for giving orders, it wasn’t his place. But he knew Rex and Waxer would say the same. They had been trying to create a trap for Krell, not the newest Separatists surprise.

Krell let out a laugh and kicked out at Luke, shoving him to the ground, before jumping up and running away, picking up his lightsaber as he went.

He hadn’t known where they had been, but suddenly Rex and Waxer, with a few others, were at his side. “How did droids get here?” Rex snarled as he shot into the dark. A few of them had came into eye contact but were quickly put down.

Luke would forever marvel at the competency of the clone troopers. It really made him miss Boil.

“Krell must have called them,” one of the 501st suggested, although a bit uncertainly, letting off a few shots.

“He is a traitor,” Waxer agreed with a growl. “He would have to betray us for someone. He did say he wanted to be Dooku’s newest lackey.”

“I’m going after Krell,” Luke announced, his eyes flaring up in anger and determination.

“You said it yourself, you can’t take him,” Rex argued, trying to hold Luke back. The boy tore himself from the grip, deflecting a few more shots from the enemy.

“I have to try. He’ll will get even more people killed, I have to stop him,” Luke insisted with a growl before throwing himself back towards the air base with an enormous leap.

“He’s like both our generals and our jedi commander put together!” Rex groaned and spun around. “Sergeant Appo, can you hold them off?”

“Scanners and scouts say there are barely any in numbers, we should be fine sir,” Appo nodded, letting out a few rounds from his blaster, although his tone was laced in a bit of confusion at the situation. “Go get the little commander!” It seemed rather odd, such a small force of droids, but at the moment, they hadn’t questioned it. Rex, Waxer and several others started to run back towards the air base to chase Luke.

Luke used all of his Soresu training just to fend off the barrage of blows against Krell; he had at least lost one staff in the Umbaran monster after it had nearly eaten the both of them but that didn’t mean he was any easier to fight. Krell had years on him, years of experience and some of that, with war. He had gotten away with a few Aratu flips and blows, even sliding into his favorite Djem So moves.

The young blonde had caught up to Krell as they got back to the base. Luke had more endurance and youthful strength but Krell’s own strength, the kind one got from years of practice and experience, far outweighed his own.

Their blows were furious and painful, putting a strain on Luke limbs and muscles. He got thrown around more times than he would like to admit.

He had to play it smart. Get the high ground, find weak points, use simple moves for endurance, to keep yourself afloat while your opponent tired himself out. He had to be able to utilize some of these things.

Luke backflipped away from Krell’s upcoming saber, blocking a glancing blow with the swing of his own. He twisted away which gave him a second’s reprieve.

With a quick glance, just leapt straight up in the air, only turning enough to land on top of one of the Umbaran’s ships that they had confiscated.

Just as he had suspected, Krell jumped up right after him. Twisting in the air, Luke took a breath and hit the besalisk’s throat wattle with his foot. It wasn’t much but it was enough to push the being back. Without hesitation, Luke leapt down and swung as hard as he could, slicing cleanly through one of the besalik’s arms.

The former general howled and fell off the edge of the ship, bouncing off of one of the wings and to the ground. Luke jumped down as Krell struggled to get up, blood practically pouring through the stump of what was left of his limb.

Krell may have had much experience, but losing a limb, that was not something you fought with. Definitely not immediately after losing it. The blood loss alone was enough to slow opponents down to a near halt.

“You are under arrest,” Luke snarled, pointing his guardian’s saber directly at him. “Surrender, now.”

“Never!” Krell hissed and came at him again. Luke prepared to swing…

Only to feel something hit his back.

He fell away to the side and saw only darkness.

Okay, so essentially, Krell learned about Luke and told Dooku. Initially, he thought he could take the planet and that would be enough but then he thought that Luke might be good leverage or something for Dooku. Dooku, being himself and preferring Kenobi, is intrigued by this new apprentice that he has heard or seen nothing about.

Dooku comes to the planet with some reinforcements to catch Luke and his forces off guard. Much of the 501st survived but are in the forests, fighting off a small thing of droids. Luke has a few boys wth him but Dooku takes them with him for leverage and eventually, to be sold to Zygerrians.

#f Krell #I hate that guy #He should lose all his arms #and then die #eh #revolving suns #revolving suns au #time travel #time travel fix it #fix it #luke skywalker #protective luke skywalker #obi-wan raises luke skywalker #ben kenobi #captain rex #clone trooper waxer #he's actually a lieutenant #waxer #my dude #uhhh who else #jesse #clone trooper jesse #clone trooper fives #arc 5555 #star wars #star wars fic #au #this is going in a completely crazier direction #than I originally anticipated #so oops?

[sincerelyasomebody]

Bound To Happen || Jose "Sad Eyes" Guzman

(GIF Credit: @merakiaes)

A/N: A requested piece! My first requested piece, which I hope lives up to your expectations. Mrs Turner's name will be Lynn. Unsure if it's been mentioned in the show. Also the text exchange has been included in the word count - the lesser amount is if it were not included. Hopefully, that makes sense. Apologises for grammatical errors. Feel free to let me know about any corrections I need to make with the Spanish translations, thanks!. 

Pairing(s): Sad Eyes x Turner!Reader ▪︎ Jamal Turner x Sister!Reader ▪︎ Turner!Family x Turner!Reader 

Requested: By @briannab1234

Summary: Relaxation comes in different forms.

Warnings: fluff, language, mentions of 19th Street incident with DJ's, playlist of songs, slightly smutty?, steamy make out, talks of murder, 

Word Count: 1423 ¤ 1409

- ♤ -♡ - ◇ - ♧ -

(Y/N) bopped her head along to 3LW's Playas Gon' Play echoing through her portable speaker as she carried it and her phone into the kitchen. Carefully placing the two on the counter she searched through the fridge, trying to find the food she had hidden in a container at the back. As soon as (Y/N) heard the theme song for The Goonies cut through the second verse, she didn't need to see the name on the screen to know who was calling. 

She disconnected her bluetooth, pressed the green button and put it on loud speaker, and answered, "hey."

"A sum of thirty five dollars is owing on your account, please transfer funds effective immediately. Thank you."

At the sound of a beep, (Y/N) stared at her phone for a few seconds before laughing. Her brother was something else. She logged into her (bank) app and made the transfer. Thankfully they were with the same bank. Once it was finalised, she sent a confirmation message. 

(Y/N)

Owing balance has been cleared.

She then proceeded to reconnect her phone to the speaker and clicked shuffle on her most recent playlist. She grinned upon hearing Love Like This by Faith Evans playing. Swaying her hips, she grabbed the container and popped it into the microwave for a couple of minutes. 

Feeling a familiar pair of arms wrap across her body, she laughed, "was I away too long?"  

Jose kissed the top of her head, "yes."

"So needy," she giggled and turned to face him, reaching out and pinching his cheeks, "such a needy baby," she puckered her lips, "beso." 

He snickered, but gave into her demand. His hands wandered down her back, deepening the simple kiss. They eventually found their way to her ass, giving it a squeeze. (Y/N) allowed him to take control as her own hands wandered up and down his solid body. The kiss lasted a lot shorter than she anticipated, causing a whine to fall from her lips.

"What's the matter, mi amor?" 

She pouted, "nothing." 

Laughing, he squeezed her hips, "aw, looks like somebody's a needy baby," he moved his hand to tilt her chin up, "who's a needy baby?" 

She huffed, "I'm the needy baby," she was given a peck to the forehead, "but you love me." 

"Always, baby." 

They held each other close, enjoying the calm atmosphere surrounding them. They had the house to themselves and were going to take full advantage of it. (Y/N) only removed herself from the embrace when the microwave beeped and TLC's No Scrubs hit a blimp. 

She glanced over at her phone and pressed her messages. 

Jamal

Enjoy the rest of your day. 

"Who's on watch?" She asked, popping open the microwave. 

Since the 19th Street attack on her dad and his business, Spooky had Santos members watching the house. The image of her father on that night is something (Y/N) would never forget. She was relieved to know that he, as well as the business, would recover but she was upset at the way 19th Street tried to assert their dominance, now that the Prophet$ were out of the picture. 

The only thing stopping her from beating up a couple of punk ass bitches, was her conscious reminding her that igniting a gang war wouldn't be the answer. The upside to the incident was getting time off from the hospital to take care of her father (she temporarily moved back in) as well as spend time with Jose. When she came clean to her family about him being her boyfriend, Jamal had leapt off the couch in the living room; did his victory dance and practically shoved his hand into their parents faces. 

(Y/N) couldn't believe that they had a betting pool about her and Jose, but they simply shrugged her off and claimed it was bound to happen - she had fallen into the 'best friends who become more' category. But, it was a place she was more than happy to be. 

"Joker," he said, bumping his hip with hers, grabbing a tea towel and placing it on her hands, "quit doin' that shit." 

She had a habit of grabbing things out of the oven or microwave without anything protecting her hands. With an eye roll, she accepted the tea towel, "okay, okay." he watched as she covered her hands and pulled out the container. Before he could grab some plates, she put a fork in his hand. 

"Maldito perezoso."

"Shut up," she replied and shoved a forkful of the stir fry into her mouth, "if you wanna wash more dishes, go ahead." 

He gently tapped her cheek, "don't talk with your mouth full," he clicked his tongue, when she opened her mouth wider to show off the chewed up pieces of food, "(Y/N)!" She laughed, but her laughter turned into a coughing fit. Luckily, Jose knew that was bound to happen and held out a glass of water for her. (Y/N) gulped it down, wiped her mouth with the back of her hand and grinned happily, "you're the best." 

Shaking his head, he helped himself to some of the stir fry, "and you're something else." 

They continued to eat and chat about different topics; their families, Santos business (they had a non-disclosure agreement), and a few of (Y/N)'s  gossiping coworkers. When they were done, they quickly rinsed their hands off in the sink and wiped them on the tea towel. (Y/N) then dumped the empty container and their forks into the sink. Dip It Low by Christina Milian started to play, which gave her an idea. Her hands trailed up and down his chest, Jose groaned as they wandered lower. She giggled at his reaction and turned around, moving to grind on him. Feeling him getting hard, she continued. 

"Si sigues con esto, ya sabes qué pasará," he groaned, gripping her hips.

(Y/N) turned back around and stared up at him, her eyes innocently peering into his, "is it too soon for round three?"

Without a second thought, he lifted her onto the counter. (Y/N) caressed his head with one hand, while the other switched off the music. He moved to suck on her collarbone, earning a moan of approval. She tugged on his shirt and admired his toned body when the shirt was thrown off. Jose smirked, as he connected his lips with hers, helping her to get rid of the tank top she was wearing. 

He watched as her boobs bounced, before cupping them both. Taking a nipple in his mouth and fondling with the other, sent (Y/N) into a state of bliss. When Jose turned his attention to the other nipple, she clutched the back of his head.

"Baby," she moaned.

The sound of something dropping followed by a shout of, "OH HELL NO!" is what alerted the couple that they weren't alone anymore. (Y/N) pushed Jose off her, throwing on her tank top and hopped off the counter. She hid herself behind him, peering around his arm to see the bewildered expressions on both her parents faces. Although, her dad looked like he wanted to murder Jose.

Like the smartass she was, she blurted, "mum said no cussing in the house." As soon as she said that, she hid herself fully behind Jose. 

"(Y/N) (M/N) Turner, front and centre." Dwayne called out to his daughter, when she followed through he continued, "you're sanitising everything in this kitchen," his eyes trailed over to Jose, "you're helping her, and the next time you're both feeling… frisky - just… you're gonna, you know… you understand me?" 

Lynn stepped in, "we understand the sexual desires -" 

"No, mum, please, don't." 

"I know it's an awkward subject to discuss -" 

(Y/N) cut her off, "especially in front of my boyfriend." 

"And father," Dwayne chimed in. 

"- but, it's completely natural." She continued.

"Okay, mum thanks for that," (Y/N) wanted to crawl underneath a rock, "anyway, we've got some stuff to do," noticing her father's watchful eye, she laughed, "non-sexual stuff, dad." 

Dwayne wasn't convinced.

Lynn pulled her husband towards the hallway, "come on, let's leave them to it." As they walked off, they could hear Dwayne telling his wife that he was right to be suspicious of the skinny kid who offered his daughter a toy car to play with back in the first grade. Once they were out of view, (Y/N) wrapped her arms around Jose's waist. 

"Round three in the shower?" 

- ♤ - ♡ - ◇ - ♧ -

Spanish Translation(s): 

Beso - kiss

Maldito perezoso - lazy ass

Si sigues con esto, ya sabes qué pasará - if you keep this up, you know what's gonna happen.

#sad eyes #sad eyes guzman #sad eyes x reader #sad eyes x turner reader #sad eyes guzman x reader #sad eyes guzman x turner reader #oscar diaz #oscar spooky diaz #spooky diaz #dwayne turner #mrs turner #jamal turner #the turner family #reader insert #x reader #on my block #onmyblockfanfiction #los santos #freeridge #sincerelyasomebody