#and god help me if the prof asks if i understand

[little-diable]

Drunken Longings and Sober Actions - Prof!Tommy Shelby (smut)

God, how I adore writing with @zablife – thank you for joining me, my love! This imagine is shamelessly inspired by some new Cillian pictures that give off the prof!Tommy vibe. Please like and reblog if you enjoyed reading this, your comments keep us writers motivated! Enjoy my loves. xxx

Summary: The reader takes on the position of Professor Shelby's assistant, the man who is also the advisor of her PhD thesis. How long can the two endure to be around one another before they finally give into their longing?

Warnings: 18+, smut, piv, oral (f), professor x assistant/student, unaddressed age gap

Pairing: Modern!Prof!Tommy Shelby x fem!assistant!reader (5.3k words)

picture credit to Document Journal

“Dear (y/n),  I’m happy to let you know that the topic of your PhD thesis has been accepted by the dean! I’d say we’ll fixate a few meetings over the upcoming semester for you to update me on the status of your thesis and to go over any questions you may have. Since your thesis has been accepted, you’re also allowed to help out with my courses from now on, for that I’d like you to come by my office on Friday, so we can go over the details before you officially start next Monday. We can combine the meeting on Friday with some coffee, if you want.  I’m very proud of you, (y/n). You’ll be an exceptional asset to our faculty, I’m very lucky to have you as my assistant.  Best, Tommy”

A gasp left (y/n) as she read the email with dilated pupils, with her teeth buried in her lower lip, and her heart racing in her chest. She had been waiting for this moment for months, praying to whoever was listening, begging them that her thesis would be accepted. Deep down she had always known that she’d get the position as Professor Shelby’s assistant, and yet she had doubted herself, not daring to believe in the path laying ahead of her.

(Y/n) could still remember the first time she had asked the professor if he’d take on the role as her supervisor, the one to guide her through ups and downs, the one to help her with her questions, the one to pick her up whenever she doubted herself and her research abilities. Professor Shelby – or Tommy as he told her to call him – had been in her life since her first semester, he had instantly caught her attention, perhaps it had been the piercing blue eyes of his that reminded her of a melting glacier basking in the heat of the July sun, perhaps it had been his cold, mysterious demeanour that had called her closer like an ancient whisper only she could understand. Whatever it had been, it had lured (y/n) closer, trapped by his spell, and now, after all these years, she finally got to work alongside the smart professor she adored, the handsome professor she crushed on. 

Her hands were shaking as she started replying to the email, thanking the professor one too many times, taking on the invite, and adding that she’d take care of the coffee. (Y/n) had spent many hours in Professor Shelby’s office, finding comfort in the room that appeared darker than all other offices, stacked with books, old and new ones, with pictures and drawings of people and places (y/n) didn’t recognise. And even though it had taken the two a while to adjust to one another – even though he had always taken his time to answer her every question, the professor had kept his distance, only slowly had the surface began to crack, finally letting her in – she now loved spending time in his office, finding shelter with him close. 

(Y/n)’s mind started racing, painting one picture more vivid than the one before, producing stories she’d dream of for nights to come. She couldn’t help but wonder how it must feel to have the professor close, how he’d touch her, how he’d hold her. Heat rose to her face, clinging to her like a warm blanket tossed over her trembling upper body. Carefully wrapped around her, like he’d carefully tug her closer, protectively, lovingly. 

……

“Please, come in!” Professor Shelby’s voice echoed through the morning, making a smile tug on (y/n)’s lips as she stepped into the office. She carried two cups of coffee, closing the door with her foot before she met him halfway, pushing the professor the coffee into his outstretched hand. “Morning (y/n), thank you for the coffee.”

“Of course, it’s the least I could do. I’m very excited.” His chuckles filled the room, echoing off the books he cherished like nothing compared, a sound so distinct, (y/n) was sure she’d always recognise it. The professor thumped through his notes, not picking up on the way her gaze flickered between the steam of his coffee rising like soldiers preparing for battle and the piercing eyes she wanted to watch explore her naked body. 

“There we go, I printed out this semester’s schedule for you. If it’s alright with you, you’ll join my Monday, Thursday, and Friday classes. For the first few weeks you can help me with preparations and the homework we will have to grade, and then you can slowly take over and teach a few classes on your own.” Her smile kept growing, clearly projecting the excitement she felt, grateful for this very opportunity. She took the sheet from his stretched out hand, reading through the lines over and over again, wondering if this was just a dream she was caught in. 

“Thank you so much, you know how much I appreciate this.” Tommy studied her for a few seconds before he cleared his throat, taking yet another sip of the coffee. There was an undeniable tension lingering in the room, growing between them like the heat of the summer would grow with every rising of the sun, adding to the crackling atmosphere. This very tension had nothing uncomfortable to it though, something (y/n) was all too used to, wondering if this was something only she could feel. 

“Of course, we both know how much me and my students will profit from your knowledge. I’m very happy to be your advisor, (y/n), I hope you know that.” Once again (y/n) could feel heat flushing through her system, still not used to his praises the other students weren’t fortunate enough to experience. Back when she and Tommy had met, (y/n) had been jealous of those that had gained his attention, forcing her to do even better on her homework and his tests, hoping, perhaps even praying, that he’d finally notice her. And now, all these years later, (y/n) still struggled to accept that their relationship had changed this much, like the tide rolling back in, bringing news from unknown territories. 

“Is there anything I can help you with? Any presentations I should put together? I know how much you hate doing these.” Both couldn’t help but chuckle at her lighthearted teasing, reminded of all these times (y/n) had helped him with his powerpoint presentations, taking over before his annoyance could take over like a tsunami wave swallowing whatever was standing in its way. 

“You know what, I’d actually really appreciate it if you could take over the presentations this semester, it seems like my students enjoy your designs more than mine anyways.” His grin kept growing as he listened to her chuckles, hearts beating in sync, even though they were sitting too far apart to pick up on the beat of one another’s strong muscle keeping them alive. 

……

“We are so proud of you!” (Y/n)’s chuckles blended in with those of her two friends, smiling at them as they touched glasses, drowning yet another sip of their beverages. The music of the crowded bar rang in their ears, distracting them whenever a song they knew by heart started playing. “So, tell us, will you finally fuck him this semester?” 

The first week of joining Tommy’s course was just about to start, and deep down (y/n) knew they’d continue their days filled with teasing glances, with loving conversations, and encouraging phrases. An almost unfamiliar kind of pride had filled his eyes as (y/n) had first asked him if he’d be her advisor, and now, as they finally got to work together, this very kind of pride was still filling his pupils. 

Their bodies searched one another’s closeness like magnets, like the stretched out hand Leander would have needed before he drowned. There was an undeniable attraction between the two, something awfully frowned upon, hence why neither (y/n) nor Tommy dared to address whatever was buzzing between them. 

“God, I wish.” (Y/n)’s friends couldn’t help but cheer, once again taking another sip before (y/n) kept speaking. “He’s just so, I can’t even describe it, perfect? I’m so sure that he’s perfect for me, but I can’t, he’s my advisor and boss after all.” 

The three of them were all too tipsy by now, no longer able to reflect on any advice their sober minds would produce. (Y/n)’s eyes started wandering through the bar, recognising a few familiar faces, students and professors that would find this bar close to their university. Her breath hitched in her chest as her eyes found a pair of piercing blue ones, momentarily leaving her frozen. 

Tommy was surrounded by some colleagues, barely listening to the stories they shared as he held eye contact with (y/n). Her friends followed her gaze, silently chuckling as they recognised the man (y/n) had been crushing on for years on end. Before either one could stop themselves, (y/n) and Tommy started moving, meeting halfway. 

“Do you want to join me outside?” His soft voice left her heart racing, wordlessly nodding her head as she followed him, engulfed by the balmy breeze, stroking up and down their goosebump covered forearms. “You should have told me that you’d end up here tonight.”

She watched him alight his cigarette, taking a deep inhale before he exhaled the blue smoke reminding her of the way the ancient city of Troy had burned, flames climbing higher and higher. (Y/n) had to blink a few times to rip herself out of her trance, fully entranced by the handsome man, by the way his hair fell into his features, by the way his body seemed to invite her in, not stepping away from her. 

“I didn’t want to intrude on your time with them, you seemed very excited about seeing them again this morning.” He nodded his head, staring at her with something she couldn’t pinpoint. There was an unfamiliar kind of distance growing between them, blue eyes rather icy, no longer filled with the pride she now longed for. Her heart kept hammering in her chest as her mind begged her to keep quiet, hoping that no embarrassing words would come upon her alcohol tinted lips. 

“I see, it’s probably not the best idea to be seen outside of work after all, not like this.” Her eyes couldn’t help but flicker to his lips as he spoke, silently wondering how it must feel to have them pressing against hers, to taste the beer he had sipped on, the cigarette he had just finished smoking. Fuck, if she’d be any more drunk, (y/n) would probably close the gap between them, not caring that all other people could watch them share a kiss. The sound of Tommy clearing his throat ripped (y/n) out of her trance, slowly catching up with the cold words he spoke, pushing her away from him before she could take another breath. 

Before either one of them could speak another word, the sound of Tommy’s ringing phone popped the bubble they were engulfed by, forcing them to step away from one another. (Y/n) cleared her throat before she looked at him one last time, body suddenly filled with an uncomfortable wave of sadness, of confusion, stepping back into the bar in a desperate need for some more alcohol. 

…

“Dear Tommy,  It was lovely seeing you tonight. I’m really looking forward to working with you this semester and I just wanted to say how much I appreciate your support.  I think our meeting Friday was productive and things seemed to be going well until I ran into you down at the pub. I’m a bit of a worrier and I over think things a lot so forgive me for asking, but have I done something? You seemed cross with me when I spoke with you earlier and it’s all I can think about now. I have to know before we begin working together, otherwise I don’t know if I’ll be able to concentrate properly.”

(Y/n) watched the cursor blink beneath her thumb, inhaling deeply as she thought about Tommy’s blue eyes darken as he stared at her earlier. He hadn’t held the same warmth or congeniality as he did in his office. This look was withering, as though she’d offended him, but (y/n) couldn’t think of what she might have done to warrant it. 

Her head was pounding and her mouth felt dry as she slid her phone onto the table and went in search of water. As she stood at the sink, reaching for a glass, she heard her friend Sylvie giggle. “What’s this, Y/n?” she asked mischievously. 

(Y/n) spun around to find Sylvie holding her phone, reading the email she’d left open. Abandoning her water, (y/n) attempted to grab for her phone, but missed as her friend held it over her head. “Give it to me! That’s important, Sylvie. He’s my thesis advisor.” 

“Yea, I remember. I was there two hours ago when you were drooling all over yourself! You want to fuck him, after all!” She chuckled with a wicked grin. (Y/n) gulped, realising she might not have been as graceful as she’d hoped. In fact, Sylvie made it sound as though she’d made a fool of yourself. God, had she? (Y/n) didn’t have time to ponder her behaviour further as the clacking of her phone brought her out of her head and back to reality. 

To her horror, (y/n) realised Sylvie was adding her own text to the email. “What are you doing?” (y/n) mumbled, furrowing her brow in suspicion.

“Giving you a shot with hot professor,” Sylvie replied, biting her lip as she typed out another line quickly before rushing into the lounge and diving onto the couch with a squeal of delight. 

“No, no, no!” (Y/n) shrieked, barreling toward her friend for the phone. Sylvie had dropped it onto the table as she swung her legs over the side of the sofa, humming to herself. (Y/n) couldn’t help but gasp as she heard the swooshing noise notifying that the email had been sent. With wobbly legs and tingling fingertips, (y/n) reached for what awaited her on the bright screen. 

At the bottom of her somewhat emotional, yet still professional work email, Sylvie had added three lines.

“You should take me to dinner to apologise. And wear the trousers from tonight that kept me staring at your arse. You looked really fit! Xx”

 “Thanks, Sylvie. Thanks a lot,” (y/n) deadpanned, sucking your teeth. 

“You’re welcome, babe!” Sylvie smiled back at her contentedly, though her eyelids were closed and she was half asleep already. How was I going to explain this? (Y/n)  wondered.

……

With her eyes focused on her phone, (y/n) kept shifting her weight from one foot to the other. She was wrapped in her most comfortable jacket, finding shelter with the fabric that had engulfed her too many times to count, hugging her close. Her heart was pounding, counting the seconds, wondering when he’d turn up.

Even though she had somehow survived their first Monday class together, Tommy hadn’t said anything to her. Well, besides the occasional small talk. She had woken that morning to the sound of an email finding its way to her, Tommy’s reply to the words her drunken self had typed with trembling fingers, paired with the words of her friend. 

“Dear Y/n, I must say I was surprised to receive your email after our chance encounter this weekend. I had no idea you felt uncomfortable in any way when we parted. As we will be working closely in the coming months, I will confide that my Aunt Polly has been unwell. If I seemed off, it was only because I’d taken a concerning call from her moments earlier. However, I assure you that your thesis has my full attention and I am committed to a good working relationship between us.  If you would join me this Tuesday for dinner at the Italian bistro around the corner from campus, I’d be interested to hear your feedback about the first day of class. I don’t think you’ll have any trouble providing thoughts if your wardrobe tips are any indication. By the way, thank you for the enthusiasm over my style. It’s good to know I still have some. Best, Tommy"

She had been torn between embarrassment, confusion, and a small fracture of pride. Yesterday, after leaving the class, he had told her that he’d await her in front of the bistro at 7 pm. And now, as she was waiting for him, a few minutes too early, (y/n) couldn’t help but give into the anticipation flooding through her, would they finally address whatever was happening between them? 

“Evening, (y/n).” Tommy’s raspy voice snapped her out of her thoughts, eyes flickering up to meet his. With a slight smile tugging on his lips, he held the door to the bistro open for her, catching the way her eyes seemed to recognise the all too familiar pair of trousers her friend had mentioned in the email. “After you.”

Slowly she stepped into the place she had last visited months ago, unable to stop her gasp from rolling off her tongue as he placed his hand on the small of her back. Tommy guided her to an empty corner, wordlessly helping her out of her coat before he sat down vis-a-vis her. 

With an almost too straight posture, (y/n) and Tommy looked through the menu, caught in the silence that had nothing uncomfortable to it, yet it was so thick it felt like neither of them could speak up. Only after the waiter had taken their order did they finally give in, eyes finding one another. 

“I have to say, I was quite surprised about your email. But I am truly sorry if I hurt you in any way, that wasn’t my intention.” He kept his voice low, without any emotions dripping from it as if he was scared that she could see straight through the barrier he had built around himself. 

“That’s alright, I probably shouldn’t have emailed you in my state.” No longer could she hold eye contact with him, gaze focused on her fingers. 

“You had every right to. It’s true, if we keep working with one another we have to properly communicate.” A sigh left the man, eyes flickering down to her fingers, watching (y/n) fumble with them for a few moments before he started talking once again, giving into the words he shouldn’t speak. “I’m sure you’ve noticed that I act differently around you, and I hope I don’t make you feel uncomfortable with saying this, but our relationship has nothing professional to it. I can’t hide whatever it is you’re making me feel.” 

……

“Here, let me help you.” Tommy reached for her jacket, helping (y/n) out of the warm fabric before he guided her through his house, towards his kitchen. The two were engulfed by an unfamiliar kind of silence, clinging to their bodies as if it was scared that the two would part ways before they could finally give in. Minutes ago they had left the bistro, and even though their dinner did have an almost carefree touch to it, they were back to chasing their distance just now. 

“Tea?” (Y/n) could only nod her head as she watched Tommy move around his kitchen, eyes focused on his task at hand, not looking at her once. Fuck, she hated this, the awkward tension so thick one could cut it with a knife, ripping the two out of this very state they seemed to be trapped in. (Y/n) couldn’t remember a day where they had acted like this, like strangers being forced to spend time with one another, not knowing how to speak up, how to get to know one another. 

“Tommy,” the word rolled off her tongue before she could stop herself, moving closer in a desperate need to minimise the distance between them like ships sailing an ocean so big their chances of crossing paths were slim to none. “What am I doing here? What is this?”

He stared at her, jaw muscles twitching as he clenched his teeth together, pondering over his words, unsure how to break out of this state. Tommy wasn’t quite sure why he had invited her to his place, not yet wanting to let her go though struggling to give into the shift of the air around them. A huff left (y/n) at his silence, turning from him to step out of this room, out of this house, but Tommy didn’t let her get far, hand clamped down on her wrist. 

(Y/n) felt herself being spun around, chest colliding with his, and before she could even try to protest, Tommy had closed the distance between them, finally kissing her. It took her a few seconds to snap into motion, hand finding his clean shaven cheek, allowing herself to deepen the kiss. Their tongues met, slow at first, allowing themselves to adjust to this new sensation, to the fire simmering inside of them, unable to hold back. 

“Fuck, I’ve been wanting to do that for longer than I should admit.” His raspy words left her chuckling, no longer caught in the web of unspoken confessions, of an awkward tension, rather breaking through the invisible barrier. She kissed him again, and again, squealing in surprise as her professor pushed her onto his kitchen island, lingering between her thighs. 

A gasp left (y/n) as Tommy’s lips found their way down her throat, sucking on the spot where her neck met her throat, making sure to leave marks at any given chance. The moment had something so forbidden to it, and yet they were taken by the thrill of it, begging them to keep on touching, to give into their longing. 

“Can I?” His whispers left her smiling, nodding her head to allow Tommy to pull her dress over her head, exposing her underwear to his dilated pupils. Not once had a man looked at her like this, with so much love, with so much desire filling his eyes, an unfamiliar gaze she’d probably never get used to. It seemed to be an unspoken fact between them that Tommy would take care of her like no other human being ever could, made for her, for her body, the flesh cage that had called out to his, claiming one another before any confessions could be spoken.

Skilled fingers undid her bra, exposing her goosebump covered chest to his wandering eyes and to his eager lips. He kept switching between her breasts, kissing and touching the skin he had longed to touch for years. Fuck, he had once promised himself that he’d never cross this very line, but now all promises were lost like the ships that had sunken to the bottom of an ancient ocean no living being remembered. Lost like all the souls Tommy kept researching, finding comfort in the thought of retelling stories of those that had shaped this very world into the world they knew now. 

His warm lips kept kissing their way down her body, down her flesh to the outlines of her panties, toying with the fabric for a few seconds before his piercing eyes flickered up to meet hers, once again asking for her permission. 

“Touch me, please.” It was simple, really, and yet the moment was by far more complex than either one would like to admit. There was no going back once he touched her there, there was no letting go of whatever they were about to create, perpetuating their love on their bodies and souls. Tommy hesitated for just a fraction of a second before he shuffled her panties down her legs, eyes focused on her heat, on the arousal glistening on her skin. 

The cold surface of the kitchen island pressed itself against her skin, grounding (y/n) before she could get lost in Tommy’s touch, in the careful movements of his wandering fingers, exploring her body all too curious. Her thighs were trembling, fighting against the urge to press them together, to get rid of the ache between them, reminding (y/n) of all these times she had touched herself to the thought of her professor. 

“I’ve been thinking of this moment way too many times, and now, as I have you before me, I know that my mind could never imagine a sight like you, so beautiful.” Her heart swelled in her chest, once again taken up by the unexpected praises leaving Tommy. (Y/n) reached for his hand, wordlessly squeezing it before he brought it up to his lips, kissing her skin. For a few seconds they kept holding eye contact before he let go of her hand, mouth meeting her cunt. 

She arched her back, letting go of the moan wanting to claw through her, hand coming down flat on the kitchen island she was laying on. Curses left (y/n) as his tongue brushed through her slit, moaning at the taste of her arousal, already addicted within the first few seconds. Her heart was pounding, racing faster than ever before, making (y/n) wonder if she’d pass out any moment now. 

(Y/n)’s body tried to push her even closer to him, breath hitching in her chest as his warm thumb found her clit, matching the rhythm of his movements to the speed he used with his tongue. Tommy had turned her into a moaning mess within a few seconds, holding a different kind of power over her body, a power so strong (y/n) feared she may never be strong enough to ever let him go again. 

Without a warning, Tommy pushed his tongue into her tightness, unable to bite down his smirk widening on his lips as (y/n) called out his name, hands balled into fists, leaving crescent shapes on the skin of her palms. (Y/n)’s eyes were squeezed shut, lips buried in her teeth – a pathetic attempt to stop herself from giving in just yet, not wanting to break the moment she had been longing for for way too long. 

Tommy could tell that she was close, upping the speed of his movements, of the way he circled her pulsing bundle of nerves, of the way he kept using his tongue. Deep down he had tied himself to her the very first day he had met her, set on (y/n) quietly, secretly, hoping that nobody could see through the cold facade he had built to protect himself. She had been Ariadne’s thread, luring Tommy out of his hiding with the sweet smile of hers, with the glistening eyes that seemed to follow him around. 

“Oh fuck, I’m so close, don’t stop, please.” He grinned against her skin as he pushed her over the edge, allowing her to let go, to cum on his tongue and fingers. (Y/n) was trembling, body taken up by the powerful orgasm he pushed through her system, kidnapping her soul to bind her to him, without needing to ask for her permission. 

Her eyes snapped open the second he let go of her, body struggling to breathe through the intense sensation still clinging to her. For a few seconds neither Tommy nor (y/n) dared to speak up, studying one another to figure out where to go from here, but with her hand finding the back of his neck, pulling him in for a kiss, their bodies seemed to snap into motion once again. 

“I’d take you to my bed and fuck you there, but I can’t go any longer without burying myself inside of you, sweetheart.” His raspy voice left her choking, wordlessly staring up at him, watching her professor shuffle out of his dress shirt, trousers soon following. Her eyes followed the movements of his hand, taking in the sight of his hard cock pressing against the fabric of his boxers. “I’ll be right back.”

Her hand shot out to stop him, murmuring a soft “I’m on the pill”, needing to feel his skin pressing against hers. With his teeth buried in his lower lip, the professor stepped out of his boxers, hand pumping his cock, using her arousal to coat himself. The heat in the room kept rising, buzzing through their veins like poison made to kill them, hoping to find shelter in a comforting death like Romeo and Juliet, tied together for eternity. 

“You look so pretty, spread out for me, I’ll need to fuck you on every surface I can find.” His teasing left (y/n) gasping, fingernails clawed into his veiny forearms, keeping him close as he brushed the tip of his cock through her folds. With their eyes connected, Tommy pushed into her, unable to bite down the groan ripping through him. 

Neither Tommy nor (y/n) would ever be able to let go of this moment, longing, aching for it on lonely nights, needing to reach out to one another. He moved slowly, relishing in her closeness, needing to soak up every second he was fortunate enough to experience. Their eyes didn’t dare stray from one another, watching the different expressions tugging on their features, clearly communicating their every need, their every want. A desire they were finally giving into. 

One of his hands clung to her thigh, keeping the leg she had wrapped around his waist close, leaving marks he’d kiss when morning rolls upon them. The way she mewled his name forced him to pick up his pace, hips snapping against hers, burying himself deeper inside of her with every passing moment. 

“Fuck, you feel so good, don’t ever stop touching me.” (Y/n) choked on her words, eyes rolling back into her head, trapped in the darkness he emanated, a personification of all things forbidden, and yet so bittersweet (y/n) knew she’d never be able to let go of him again. Whatever may come upon them, they’d stick to one another, fuelled by the desire keeping them chained together.

Tommy pulled her even closer, allowing his cock to nudge against her sweet spot with every thrust, once again pushing her closer to the edge she had been pushed over moments ago. He murmured soft praises, pushing waves of heat through her, heart swelling once again as he spoke the words that would ring through her head for weeks to come. 

“Doing so well, sweetheart, I got you, it’s okay.” His thumb found her swollen clit once again, rubbing it a few times before (y/n) came on his cock, walls clamping down on him. It took Tommy some more thrusts before he followed her down the edge, painting her walls white as a heavy groan left him. 

Both kept clinging to one another, holding on for dear life without daring to speak up, scared that reality would catch up with them, forcing them to adapt to this very new change. His eyes studied her calm features, trying to read the fucked out gaze swimming in her pupils. Slowly he pulled out of her, lips meeting hers for a sweet kiss. 

“How about a shower?” Both weren’t ready to address what was laying ahead of them just yet, not ready to talk about whatever they’d have to change, if they’d had to change something at all. And yet both found comfort in the thought of doing this together, with their hearts intertwined and their souls wordlessly communicating.

#Tommy Shelby smut #professor fic #Tommy Shelby imagine #modern Tommy Shelby

[pamelasmuse]

Pairings: prof! Remus Lupin x of age! Reader

Summary: you accidentally cal prof!Sirius “daddy”, and he’s into it.

A/n: do you know when you would call your teacher dad/mom in elementary, well thats what this is based off.

Warnings: smut, angst

You stayed seated as all your friends left the classroom. Professor Lupin looked up seeing only you, his dream.

“How can I help you miss y/l/n.

Remus tried to appear calm, under his clammy hands and his wandering eyes. He felt as though he was back in school, nervous under your gaze , the most popular girl in hogwarts. 

“Um well mr. Lupin I was just wondering if you could help me with this problem.”

He smiles and nods motioning for you to bring your things closer.

“Bring it here” he motions

You pick up your things and make your way up to his desk. You almost trip do to your nerves. Remus was very handsome and you’d be lying if you said you hadn’t thought about him in a romantic way.

“ Ah yes I see what you messed up on”

he points down at your paper. But you are to entranced with his fingers and how they glide down your paper. And with the close proximity you can smell his cologne its musky and it is outdoorsy.

“Do you understand?” He asks

That snaps you from your trance. You look down at the paper. You didnt hear a single word he said.

“Ya mm.. thank you daddy.”

At first you don’t relise what you said. Until remus chokes on air coughing.

Mixed with that and his expression you relise.

“Oh god mr. Lupin im so sorry” you blush while trying to pack your things. Remus finally stops coughing and makes his way to your desk.

“Y/n its fine.”

You continue to apologize until he grabs your arms making you look at him.

“Y/n it is fine, truthfully.”

The way he says it makes you relise something, he liked it. You smile before bringing your hand up to his bicep you stroke it and bat your eyelashes at him.

“Ok remus.”

He looks at you all his dirty thoughts coming to him. He tells him self its bad but he gives in. He leans down and kisses you. You lean im deeping the kiss. Pushing your tongue into his you fight for dominance with him.

He pulls you back

“Not so fast, you’ve been a very bad girl.”

You smile trying to contain your exitment.

#remus lupin #sirius black fic #harry potter #sirius black fluff #sirius black smut #sirus black x reader #artists on tumblr #halloween #remus lupin smut #remus lupin fanfiction

[russett-pots]

Sunbae the tutor

Kim Minju

Tags: Mating press, pronebone, breeding, buttplug, dub-con?

Word Count: 3.1k

I'm back. Here is my first fic after my break. You forced me to write this so I expect you to like this. I'm sorry for my purejuers. The next Minju fic will be full of pureju. I promise.

Ugh. I don’t get this.

“Okay, Class. That’s it for today.”

You sigh again. It is yet another day when you still have not grasped the topics you have for your class. After trying countless nights reviewing and studying again and again and again. Your empty brain still has not soaked a single bit of information. Anyway, it is a long day. One more activity before heading home is your home org meeting.

This meeting is more of a party. An excuse for your Sunbaes to meet their Hoobaes. But since it was held on school grounds, no alcohol. But it is time for you to relax and unwind. It is time for you to get rid of the feeling of your everyday mundane routine.

“Hey!” Your friend calls you. “Long day?”

Your tired faces show it. You have huge eye bags, your hair is not in its best shape, and wearing the same sweatpants and a shirt from yesterday.

“Yeah…Classes have been killing me.”

“Yeah, I can tell. Are you still having trouble with that subject you have been talking about?”

“Oh my fucking god. I still can’t understand anything. Everything is way too complicated and the prof is speaking way too fast.” You shout

“Dude relax. You should calm down.”

“I can’t. That’s the only thing on my mind right now.”

“Okay if you really need. Try to get help. A tutor maybe?”

“I can’t. My parents cannot afford something like that.”

“You can ask our Sunbae. I did it for calculus. They’re really smart.”

“Really they can help?”

“They are more than willing. It’s part of their job.”

You scan around. Most people are just talking with their cliques. Suddenly, you get a sudden arm around your shoulder.

“Hey!” It is the Org president. “You guys doing good?”

“Yeah! Party— I mean meeting is going good.”

“That’s great to hear. Don’t forget to fill out the feedback forms before you leave. We really appreciate your thought on what we did tonight.”

He double-pats your shoulder as he leaves. But before he can get away, you grab his wrist. “Sunbae”

“Yeah?”

“I need help with one of my subjects. Is it alright if you can tutor me?”

“Hmmm…. Ah! I can’t but I know someone who can. Follow me.”

He leads you across the room.

“Minju!”

She turns her head from the conversation she just had. “Hmmm?”

“My friend here needs your help.”

“Help? What kind of help?”

“He has difficulty with one of his subjects, Can you tutor him?”

She looks at you up and down like she is assessing you. “Him? Sure!”

He looks at you and slaps you on the back. “Great!”

“President! We need something from you.” A shout from the vice president comes from the other side of the room.

“Got to go! See you around!”

He leaves you and Minju by yourselves.

“So. What subject are you having trouble with?”

“Ummm….Chemistry 1.” You look at her with a defeated face while scratching the back of your neck.

“Ah! Don’t worry about that. I can teach you that.” She looks at you. Eyes scanning up and down She pinches your arm and laughs a bit. “You seem like a nice guy. I’ll be more than happy to help you. Do you want to meet me at my dorm? Tomorrow evening?”

“Sure!” You don’t notice those flirtatious actions because of your tired state but they linger in your mind for a while but you do not mind them as they are not the most important thing in your mind.

~~

You enter the apartment building. It is relatively small. Only seven stories and it is near the campus. It is made for students. You got up to the intercom and type Minju’s room number.

It rings.

“Hello?”

“Sunbae?”

“Ah- come up. Come up.”

The front door opens and you enter the building. The hallway leads up to the stairs and you walk to the second floor and go to the fifth room.

*Knock* *Knock*

The door opens and you see Minju in a bathrobe, leaning against the door.

“Hey, Hoobae. Come in.”

“You don’t have to call me—.”

“Shusshhh. I’ll call you Hoobae, okay?”

“Yes, Sunbae.”

“Actually, call me Minju. I’ll be teaching you in the meantime.”

She welcomes you inside. It is quite sizeable for a student. A decent size kitchen with a dining room to match and a nice large bed on the side. “Go to the table over there. I’ll do a couple of things first.”

You head to the small dining table and sit down. With your hands flat on the table and your foot tapping on the floor, you nervously, and patiently wait for Minju to come out. Then there she is, still in her bathrobe. She sits beside you and crosses her legs. You can see the bathrobe fall a bit and shows off more leg than what one should normally see.

“So, what topic are you having trouble with?”

“Ummm….. More on balancing equations.”

“Really? I also had some trouble with that part.”

You take out your notebook and a worksheet that you printed out for the tutorial session. Minju looks at the problems and scans the questions. She tilts her head and pouts her lips.

“Hmmmm… I see. I’ll give you a simple trick. What I would do is place coefficients in front of each one. Like in O2, H2O, or CO2. What’s your oxidant?”

“Our professor only used oxygen.”

“Nice that makes it easier. Now, let’s start. What I normally do is put coefficients in front of each molecule. Let's use x,y, and z. so O2 will have x.” With with her pen hovers over each item. 

“Then for y for CO2 and z or H2O?” You question.

“Yup! Okay the next part is going to be tricky. Let’s use propane as an example. C3H8. We keep propane by itself and we don’t touch it. Then we put x for O2. Then on the other side y CO2 + z H2O.”

“So, what do we do now?”

“We have to do by each element. First, we do carbon. On the left side, propane has three moles of Carbon and oxygen doesn’t have any. So here we have three on the left side. On the right side. CO2 has one so we put that on the right side. So we have our first equation 3=x. Easy right?” She plays with your shoulder.

“AHHHHHH! I see. We can do hydrogen next. Ummmmm. 8=2z….. so z=4.”

“Yup!”

“Okay. Oxygen……2x….=2y…+…z. Hmmmm….”

“You know what to do?”

“I wasn’t born yesterday. We already have y and z just plug it in. so x=5.”

“There that’s our balanced equation.”

“Omg.” You grab your paper from the table. “It was so much easier than I thought.”

But as the lesson goes on Minju’s foot touches your leg but she does not acknowledge it. But instead becomes bolder. Her foot strokes your hairy shin. It tickles a bit so you do not stop her but instead allow her to play with you more. Her hand “accidentally” touches yours. This becomes more frequent.

You admit to yourself that it is nice to see the skinship that Minju is offering you. But soon it gets too much for you. You are here to study and what Minju is going is not going to help you pass the exam next week.

“Sunbae?”

“Call me Minju.”

“Minju. Ummm…. I’m getting uncomfortable.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean. You have been touching me.”

“I know that.”

“Really? I’m not sure….”

Minju places her finger in your mouth.”

“Look. I’ve one condition before I tutor you. Especially to good-looking guys like you.”

“What?”

Minju leans to your ear and whispers.

“I want you to be my Hoobae.”

“I’m already you Hoobae.”

“You’re making this hard for me. I like it.”

From your ear to your cheek and kiss it. Slowly moving to your lips then down to your neck.

“Minju, we shouldn’t be doing this.”

“Call me Sunbae. I know you want this.”

“Sunabe…”

Minju continues to kiss your neck as she grabs your hand and places it inside her bathrobe and onto her breast. You grab it and play with it.

“Like it, Hoobae?”

“Yes, Sunbae.”

“Want more?”

“Yes, Sunbae.”

“Then follow me.”

Minju breaks the kiss and pulls you to her bed. She makes you sit down, kneels, and spread your legs open. The nervousness increases as she inches closer to you. 

“Look. I haven’t had cock in a while.”

“Sunbae…”

Minju stares at your growing bludge and licks her lips on what’s about to be her meal. Her hands slowly inch towards the button of your pants. It is swiftly dealt with as your pants are pulled down. As soon as it reaches the floor. Minju removes it from your ankles and throws your pants away.

The cold air in her room encircles your warmed cock. It stiffens from the sudden change of temperature and the beauty that is in front of you.

“Wow! Have you been hard all this time?”

“Uhhh….”

“Don’t worry. You don’t need to say anything.”

Minju then stands up and pulls the knot off her bathrobe. It drops to the floor and she shows off her elegant body with perfect tits, a nice ass, and wide hips. But the most important thing you see is her thick thighs.

“Like what you see?”

“Yes, Sunbae.” You nervously say, looking up and down.

“Good. Then I’ll give my Hoobae a good time. But I have one condition.”

“Hm?”

She leans in and whispers to your ear again. “Cum in me.”

You lean back in shock.

“Don’t worry. I’m on the pill. I just want the feel of cum in me.”

Minju kneels and spreads your legs open once more. She stares at your cock as her hand starts to slowly grab your veiny length. Her cold hand starts to slowly pump it. Minju leans forwards and uses her tongue to lick the very tip of your cock.

Soon enough the sticky clear pre-cum emanates from the slit. She twirls her tongue around it and gets a taste of it. Minju’s eyes look around your cock. She moves lower and drags her tongue from the base to the tip. The rough taste buds tickle your cock. She engulfs your cock whole, going directly back to the base for a self-induced deepthroat.

This makes you let out an audible moan. Minju moves from your cock but still leaves her hand pumping it.

“Sunbae, are you done?”

“What do you mean? I barely started.”

Minju goes back down and starts eating your cock. Mouth surrounds your cock and in tandem with her hand pumping it. The vigorous motions force a wave of pleasure up from your crotch. This makes you moan louder as she pushes you further and further to the edges.

“Sunbae. Sunbae. Wait. Wait. I’m going to cum—”

Minju ignores you and continues to suck your cock but this time faster and faster. Soon you shoot your first wave of cum. She pumps and squeezes every single bit out of you. Minju with her cheeks full gets up and gulps down all the cum in her mouth.

“I always loved the taste of cum.”

“Sunbae…I’m tired.”

“Hey! You can’t be tired. I haven’t had my turn. Move around. All fours now!”

You comply and get on the bed with your hands and legs flat and your butt sticking out.

“Don’t worry about this. This hasn’t been used. Think of this as a gift. You can bring it home if you want.”

“Sunbae?”

Minju ignores you once more. You look back and see her lather up a black butt plug with lube.

“You ready?”

“Yes. Sunbae.”

“Very good. Just want to warn you it might hurt.”

She slowly sticks it inside your ass. First, as it enters, it hurts. You grab onto the sheets tightly from all the pain that you are experiencing. She pushes it further the pain slowly grows bigger and once it is fully inside, you can fully feel it inside your rectum. It first feels painful but the longer it sits inside the better it feels.

“This is going to make the orgasm feel better. Trust me. And as far as I can tell. You are ready for this.”

You look down at your cock and get surprised at how hard it is already. As you admire your shaft for a moment, Minju suddenly pushed you down to the bed and kisses you on the lips. The taste of cum remains in her mouth but you do not mind as her kiss is amazing.

Minju sits on top of you with her pussy directly in front of your re-enlarged cock. She goes back to kiss you again while she pumps your cock. The second orgasm is about to come. Minju shifts herself forward and positions herself above your cock. She gives a good tap on your top onto her entrance, teasing herself a bit.

“I’m sure this cock is going to be good.”

You nod in affirmation. Then she drops herself in you. Your large cock makes Minju let you a loud scream. You can feel your cock entirely inside Minju. She grinds your cock in her. Moving forward, sideways and backward without moving up and down for now.

You can see her eyes smile in delight. The pleasure from your cock gives a sensation that is still not even at its full potential. Minju jumps up and down as your cock slides in and out of her. Her juices start to spill from her cunt.

You hold on to her soft, delicate skin and onto her tight waist. Skin so immaculate you wonder how it can get like that. But regardless, that’s not what is important right now. You balance her as she moves up and down.

You can feel it yourself. The pleasure of her tightness in her pussy envelopes all of your senses. Your boner starts to get into control. You no longer have regular instincts and all your want is sex, rough sex. You can see it in her eyes that she wants more and you will give more. You grab her and switch her to the side.

Minju laughs at you, once refusing her offer and now the one in control.  You lay her on her back and position yourself on top of her.

“What’s your plan, Hoobae?” She looks at you with curiosity, knowing what you will do to her.

“This.”

You push her legs up to her chest and start the mating press, thrusting as hard as your can. Minju screams as she cannot handle you so fast. But regardless you ignore her cries instead as she shouts you speed up faster.

Minju grabs onto your arms and holds on for dear life and you slam your cock into her tiny pussy. You wonder how it was so tight even with all of her experience. Her nails dig into your skin, scars form as her grip tightens.

“Fuck! Your cock is so good!”

“If you want more I can do more!”

“Do your worst!”

You flip her over to her belly. Her head facing down to the bed and her ass looking at you. You grab your cock and align it back to her pussy and prone bone her from behind. Your cock pokes to her g-spot as your thurst once more but even faster than before. Minju screams even louder this time. She tries to face up to breathe but instead, you use your left hand to make her face flat on the bed, making her barely breathe but enough for her to enough tonight’s session. While your right-hand slaps on her ass.

“Like that you slut.”

“Fuck me harder. I told you to do your worst.”

“I’m going to make it harder alright. You started this and I’m going to finish it.”

Finally with your words of encouragement or whatever she said. You push to your fastest. This time you can hear Minju's repetitive shouts echo in the room around and maybe to her neighbors as well. But you do not care. It is not your dorm and Minju can handle it herself and the only thing you want to do is to deal with this slut and that is to fuck her and fuck her hard.

“Fuck! Your pussy is good. I’m going to fuck you so hard you cannot walk in the morning.”

You grab her one more time and bring her to the table. All of your study material gets tossed away and you slam Minju on the table. Her eyes once more look at you with despair but begging you, asking you to ruin her.

You slap her cock to the entrance of her slit, teasing her. But Minju is tired, she cannot complain because she does not have any more energy. For the final time, you thrust in her. Minju’s face leans back, eyes roll over and you run your length inside her. You pull her up as she is drunk with sex. She looks at your lips then smacks her to yours.

You slam into her while you kiss, spitting in her mouth and she instinctively swallows it. Your right-hand gropes her breast while your left caresses her ass.

“Fuck! You’re really going to not make me walk the next day.”

“Does it look like I care, Sunbae?”

“Fuck me harder then. What are you waiting for? And don’t forget.” She leans in and whispers to your ear. “Cum in me like the slut I am.”

You look back and affirm her. Minju resumes your kiss. The passion and lust between a senior and her junior can be heard all around the room. Finally, you can feel your legs get weak, and your cock is ready to burst. You break the kiss.

“I’m going to cum.”

“Inside. Do it inside. I want it and I know you want it too.”

Minju pulls you closer and resumes kissing you. Soon, you release your seed. Even more than before. You fill her up to the brim as you lean back from Minju to see your artwork. Minju’s lips cover with your salvia, her sweat all over her body, and she wishes your cum leaking out of her hole.

She looks back at you, smiling. “I see you’re good. I need to tutor you more often.” She jumps off the table and heads to her bed. While she walks away. “You can either stay and sleep with me or go home, I don’t mind either.”

“I have to go. My roommate is expecting me.

“Okay, then. Text me next time then. I’m sure you still need help with your homework.”

#Kim Minju #minju smut #izone smut #kpop smut

[legally-lupin]

Collide-Prof! Remus Lupin X Student Fem! Reader

Warnings: minor smut nothing too drastic.

Reader is of age!- Remus never left Hogwarts after the incident in 3rd year.

(I’m a slut for prof lupin )

You sat in the great hall next to Hermione for breakfast. You plonked snapes assignment that was due today onto the table and got to work with a piece of toast in your mouth.

“Why are you doing it now?” Ron asked with a mouthful of food. You scrunched your nose at him

“First of all don’t talk with your mouth open I can see everything you’ve eaten and second I forgot to do it last night. I had detention with Snape and completely forgot.” You huffed rushing through the paragraphs

“Oooh y/n you’ve got an admirer” Hermione giggled looking at her friend's confused face

“What do you mea… oh” you looked around till her eyes landed on the teacher's table to see professor lupin looking at you with a subtle smile on his face. Y/n blushed slightly but continued with her assignment

“He hasn’t stopped staring at you since that day at the burrow” Harry smirked at his friend who just shrugged her shoulders. Mind is too focused on not getting yet another detention with Snape.

Flashback

That night at the burrow. You were staying with the Weasleys for a few days before school started again. You were all outside watching the boys play quidditch when someone apparated into the field. It was Remus lupin. He watched as George lifted you up in victory spinning you around whilst his twin looked gutted. He thought you two were dating as you were so touchy with each other.

“You did it!” He heard you giggle as he walked into the burrow to greet molly.

The crowd of teens unaware of Remus’s presence barged into the room George still carrying you with a big smile on his face.

“Mum, did you see me win? You should have seen Fred’s face-“ all eyes turned to Remus. He stood up from his tea and greeted everyone. His eyes stayed on yours a little longer eyeing you up and down. You blushed and buried your head into George’s neck. Remus looked at the way George carried you. a wave of jealousy crossed his mind before speaking up.

“Good evening all. Hope you’ve had a great summer so far” he received a bunch of positive responses from the group

“Remus is joining us for dinner so go get dressed and for god's sake shower boys!” she waved her children out. George placed you on the floor

“That’s the smell of VICTORY MOTHER!” He boomed before kissing your cheek and running upstairs to get dressed

Hermione looked at you smirking and you just smiled

“What?”

“George is so into you. And you're definitely into him” you blushed before pushing the girl jokingly. At the dinner table, Remus kept staring at you. Hermione was the one who nudged your foot and gave you the look. Your eyes locked with his. Why was he smirking?

Flashback over:

You all had DADA that morning and you were nervous, to say the least as the four of you walked into the class. You sat with Hermione and got your books out. You rested your chin on your hand whilst you waited.

“Good morning class” Remus's voice boomed through the class making you jump. A hand landed on your shoulder

“Sorry for the freight miss l/n. Today's lesson is going to be a bit different. You are going to be catching up on some assignments. I understand professor Snape has one due today. Has anyone not finished it?” Remus looked around as many hands including your own went up

“Ah, I see. Get to it then. I will be here if you need help” he looked at you after that last sentence and sat at the front probably marking essays.

You sighed in your seat as you finished it off. You noticed lupin looking at your legs and you realised your skirt was a bit too short. You blushed and pushed it down making the professor clear his throat.

“Miss l/n a word please?” You shyly got up and followed your teacher to his office. Giving Hermione a help me look which got blanked.

“Sorry professor Did I do something-“ you were cut off by his lips on yours. You stood in shock before melting into his arms and kissing him back.

“Did you wear that to get my attention love?” He growled in your ear nibbling at your neck. Your hands weaved into his hair making him grunt in pleasure l.

“Cause you’ve surely got it.” He growled you felt your knees get weak at his words. Your lips connected and A warmth formed in between your legs as he lifted your leg over his waist

“Professor lupin?” A voice called out making you both quickly pull away

“Come to my office after hours” he gives you one more kiss before fixing himself up and walking out leaving you shocked. And also hot and bothered

A/n: I love lupin sm. sorry for not posting for a while

#remus lupin #remus lupin x you #prof!remuslupinxreader #remus lupin x yn #remus lupin smut #harry potter

[strwberri-milk]

Academic Misconduct

AO3 || Professor!Au || Lucifer x AFAB!Reader || Smut || 3,059 words || MDNI ||

Sometimes, Lucifer's human world outfit makes you think of a professor that needs to bang you over his desk. Just sayin'.

additional tags: desk sex, fingering, vaginal penetration, orgasm denial, kitten as a pet name

You sigh, standing outside the office of your professor. He decided that it was imperative you hand in your assignment within the next day but none of the words on the paper made sense to you. He wasn’t exactly the kindest man either, named after a creature who defied God and acting just as stuck up as one. Still, you had to agree with everybody else. Despite how much of an asshole he was he was an extremely attractive man, fitting all the criteria of tall, dark, and handsome. 

Getting an appointment with him was incredibly challenging. Lots of other students booked his office hours days in advance as they tried to seduce him and fail miserably. It was easy to see which students were coming from a failed proposition, hiding in the back of the lecture hall and being picked on even more incessantly by him. 

You knock on the door and wait for him to let you into the office, straightening your clothes out to make sure that not a single hair was out of place. He had a very strict dress code for his office hours for some reason. Students were expected to dress at the very least business casual for him to entertain your reasoning for visiting him. To avoid being told off and ignored by him you decided to wear a blouse and skirt. A little too overdressed for a regular day of class but anything to get a better grade right?

The door clicks open as a woman about your age storms out, your professor sitting at his desk incredibly nonchalantly. You make eye contact and he smiles professionally at you. 

“You can come in now. Ignore her,” he says, gesturing for you to walk in. 

You walk in, closing the door behind you and taking a seat across from him. He eyes the papers you begin to put on his desk, picking up one of the sheets that had the most amount of angry question marks on them. 

“Are you not understanding the material?” he asks, not letting you speak first. His dark eyes look at you and you feel yourself whither a little under his intense gaze. 

“Yes. I’m just having trouble understanding this theory and its application. I understood it well enough on the practice questions but when I started getting to the hard ones I couldn’t do them.” 

He looks over your work, comparing all of the papers to each other. 

“Dr.-” you start, trying to preserve some sort of dignity and explain your stupid mistakes when he puts his hand up. 

“Just call me Lucifer. I see your issue.” He gets up and circles around you. 

“You’re lacking one of the fundamental principles of the theory. Did you forget it?” His voice is low in your ear as he leans against your body, much too close for a regular student/professor consultation. 

“I don’t see what you’re talking about.” You try to focus on the paper in front of you but fail miserably. 

Unfortunately, you happened to be one of the many people with your eyes on the prof, thoughts going to less than decent places when you’d watch him stretch. Even underneath the thick fabric of his turtlenecks, you could sometimes see the flex of his muscles or a scandalous peek of his stomach when he moved a little too much. Having him be so close to you was driving you mad and you could barely focus. 

“You’re so red,” he says suddenly, shocking you. His hand cups your chin, tilting your gaze to meet him. 

“Sorry, it’s just really warm in here,” you try to say, pulling at the collar of your shirt. “This blouse doesn’t help much.”

He nods, pulling his sweater out of his slacks and giving you a rare glimpse of his skin as he adjusts. 

“My office is quite warm. I’ve been trying to tell the custodians about it but they haven’t gotten around to fixing it.” He disappears from your view and you’re tempted to turn around but don’t. The sound of the door’s lock clicking makes you jump. 

“We won’t have class for a while and I have no other appointments after you. Is your schedule clear? We’ll make sure you understand everything by the time you leave my office.” 

“Yes but-”

“Good. Now, we have to start from the beginning.” 

You prepare yourself for a long lecture, glad that at least you’d have a pretty face to look at before he pulls off his turtleneck, smirking at you staring at his shirtless body. 

“Is there an issue?” he asks, going to put on a button-down. “You are aware it’s too warm here.” 

“Is this even allowed?” you ask, eyeing the professor. 

“Maybe not, but I have tenure. I’m protected as far as I know.” You blink at him. 

“How old are you to have tenure?” He ignores your question, loosely buttoning his shirt and rolling up the sleeves to his forearms. His glasses sit on the desk and you wonder if they’re even real. 

Finally, he starts the actual lecture part and you roll your eyes. A loud smack on the table startles you as he glares you down.

“Are you disrespecting me?” he asks, narrowing his eyes. 

“I don’t have to spend all my time here making sure you understand what we’ve covered in class. If you were paying attention we wouldn’t have to be doing this would we?” 

“I just had one question Dr.-”

“Lucifer.”

“I just needed clarification here and I can leave and you can spend the rest of your time doing something else.” He crosses his arms, staring at you.

“You know I can see the way you stare at me in class,” he says, sharply changing the subject matter. 

“What - huh?” 

“You’re just as obvious as the other students if not, more.” Your face flushes as you realise what he’s alluding to. He knows you have a crush on him, just like everyone else. 

“Am I in trouble?” you ask, voice feeling a little small. You look up to him, not expecting to meet the smirk on his face.

“I’m willing to indulge you in your fantasies.” 

Your mouth opens as you stare at the man in shock. His confident look as his hands go to undo his belt makes you realise he’s serious, covering your eyes when you hear the leather slide out of the belt loops. 

“Lucifer?” you say in shock, finally using his name. “What are you trying to do?”

“Is it not clear?” he asks, pulling you out of your chair and down on his lap in his chair. “I’m propositioning you.” 

“Are you gonna give me an A for the class then if I fuck you?” You’re oddly okay with this progression of events, the exposed skin under his collar teasing you. 

“I didn’t think of this as some sort of transaction - I just saw that you looked interested and I feel interested in you as well.” His fingers toy with the hem of your skirt as his words sink in, making your eyes widen.

“You’re interested in me?! You aren’t married?” He laughs a little at the incredulous tone in your voice. 

“No, I’m not.” He runs a hand up your thighs, pressing a kiss to your shoulder. 

“You haven’t said no yet,” he mutters into your ear. 

“Because I don’t want to…?” you try tentatively, rewarded with a light nip at your neck. 

“So you’re fine with me bending you over my desk and fucking you?” he says, all sorts of subtlety thrown out the window. You feel yourself getting excited at his words, gasping a little. 

He begins to play with you, slipping a hand under your skirt and stroking lightly at your slit. His lips begin to kiss and suck light marks into your skin, the other hand going under your shirt to toy lightly with your nipples. 

“You’re awfully obedient,” he teases, pushing you back slightly to look at him. 

“I’ve got a pretty man underneath me - why wouldn’t I be?” You cover your mouth, not exactly expecting such candour to leave your lips. He laughs instead, pulling you down to him and brushing your hair out of your face. 

“I’m grateful for your honesty and if that’s the case they why don’t we work to remove this?” He thumbs at the edge of your blouse, looking at you expectantly. 

Quickly, you go to remove your shirt, wanting to please the man sitting in between your thighs. He watches you eagerly as your shirt comes off your body, revealing your bar clad chest to him. His hand continues to work on your slit, thumb now beginning to rub lightly at your clit. The gasp that leaves your mouth makes him smirk, going to your collar to suck a light mark into your skin. 

“Do you want me to touch you?” he asks, voice low in your ear. You nod hesitantly, unsure if what was currently happening to you was indeed happening. 

With your consent he moves your underwear aside, fingers gently circling your clit with the wetness from your opening. Your arms tighten around him, holding on as he starts to pleasure you, teeth going to pull the strap of your bra down. 

“Lucifer,” you pant, feeling very embarrassed but also very turned on by this situation.

“What is it darling?” he asks sweetly, making your heart skip a beat. 

“Why are you doing this?” You can’t deny it feels great but you can’t help but think you’re just some weird stress relief for him.

“I’ve been keeping an eye on you myself,” he starts. “I’ve been wanting to get to know you better once I realised you were just like the others. Desperate for my attention aren’t you?” 

You nod as you feel his fingers enter you, breath hitching as he begins to finger you slowly. Without warning, he decides to add a second one in when you feel ready for him, making you arch into him. The warmth of his body under his shirt makes this more real to you. He’s actually here, and he decided that you were going to be the one he chose to finger blast in his office. 

Your hips begin to buck against his hold, fingers and thumb working a little faster against you. He tilts your head down, kissing you gently. He’s a good kisser and you’re thankful for that - it helps distract you slightly from the burning of your thighs as he makes you straddle him. Any sort of relaxing your muscles makes you fuck yourself on his fingers and you don’t want to come off as too needy. 

He moves his hand faster, breath warm against your chest as he works you to completion. The sounds coming from your pussy become louder as you start to near your orgasm, pants and whines of his name filling the space between you two. 

“Fuck - Lucifer I’m gonna-” 

His fingers leave your body, resting against your thigh as he watches you come down from your almost high. You glare at him, annoyed and unsure how to take that, body still so close to orgasm. 

“I- What was that for?” 

He doesn’t say anything, simply readjusting you. You feel him put you back on the ground, hand sliding up to fist at your hair and push you down against his conveniently cleaned desk. The cold wood against your heated chest sends a shock through your system. His shoes tap yours and he prompts you to spread your legs further. You follow his instruction, air hitting your core as he pulls down your underwear. 

“I want you to cum on my cock,” he says lowly into your ear. The rustling of fabric behind you signals that he’s removing his pants and you hear him hiss lowly, presumably thanks to him freeing his cock. 

“You can take me, can’t you?” he asks, not giving you a chance to respond as you feel him wet himself with your slick, hips slowly sliding his cock against you. 

A moan leaves your lips when he angles against you, tapping his hand against your clit. A hand goes to your hip and he holds you steady as you feel him enter you. He moves slowly, each tantalising inch of him beginning to feel like too much as you let the desk take all of your weight. He doesn’t stop, not until his hips are pressed up against yours. The hand in your hair joins his other hand at your hip and he starts to kiss your back. 

“Fuck - you’re so big,” you moan. 

It hurts a little to have him inside of you which makes you thankful for him not thrusting into you immediately. Your words seem to have an effect on him, his cock throbbing as he revels in the warmth of your body. If you weren’t so close to cumming before this would have been a lot harder for you to take. You can hear him cooing something to you but the feeling of him inside you begins to make you wetter as you fully adjust, hips moving slowly over him. 

“Are you ready kitten?” he asks, moving slowly against you. 

“Please…” 

You gasp as he starts to thrust into you, hands gripping tightly onto your hips as he fucks into you. His hips begin to pick up speed as your moaning becomes louder and your pussy makes lewder noises. You can feel yourself dripping all over him as his thrusts pick up in both speed and intensity. He leans down against you, the weight of his body against yours making you clench around him. Nothing betrays  his calm exterior other than he controlled breathing in your ear, tickling your skin. 

“You feel so good around me,” he drawls. “So good for me.” 

He brings your body up from the desk, the height difference making you stand on the tips of your toes to accommodate. With strength you didn’t know he had, he hooks his hands under your thighs, picking you up and fucking you harder. He thrusts into you and drops you slightly, using gravity to his advantage to quickly ruin you against him. His cock starts to hit you deeper, choked gasps dancing in the air every time you drop on him. 

“Put your feet on the desk for me won’t you?” he asks sweetly, nuzzling his face into your hair. 

You nod mutely, bracing your weight on the desk. His arms relax slightly as you lean against his chest. One of his hands is now freed, going down to roughly circle your clit which makes you clamp down around him involuntarily, drawing a moan from the both of you. You attempt to close your legs, wanting to try and escape all the stimulation he’s giving you but he refuses, the hand going up to separate your knees.

“You’re going to keep your legs spread for me, and for anybody who happens to walk in here, understood?” You can call his bluff immediately, knowing that he locked the door and it was still way too early for custodians to be cleaning offices but the fake thrill of being caught makes you more turned on, nodding at his demand.

The slapping of your bodies together paired with the wet noises from you get louder as you feel him thrusting harder into you, trying to turn into him to muffle your moans. He only laughs, hand playing rougher with your clit. Your eyes go down to watch him fuck you, gasping at the sight of his cock stretching you out. 

“You’re so obedient, maybe we should do this more huh?” he coos, thrusting faster into your impossibly tight pussy. You nod mutely, feeling yourself near your peak. 

“I’m - I’m gonna cum-” you mewl pathetically and the back of your mind worries that he won’t let you cum again. 

Thankfully, it seems to be unfounded as he works harder to bring you to your orgasm, hand pinching and rolling your sensitive bud with more intensity and hips drawing harsher against you. 

“Cum for me - I want to feel it,” he growls, dangerously close to his peak as well.

His words make you clench around him, cumming hard. A moan sounds in your ear as he continues to fuck you through your orgasm. Your body begins to cry out as you’re overstimulated, nonsensical babbles leaving your lips as he roughly positions you back against his desk. The snap of his hips against yours shakes the wood and you suddenly realise that if someone were to press their ear up the door for whatever reason it’d become incredibly obvious what you’re doing. 

“I’m gonna fill you up,” he snarls, hips losing their rhythm as his body jerks against yours. You feel a second orgasm approaching, whining his name as he keeps playing with your clit, already recognising the signs of your body’s release. 

“Cum,” he demands, forcing himself to move against your pulsing core to push you over the edge for the last time. 

You moan his name into the desk, hand unfortunately crinkling up some paper he couldn’t care less about as he empties into you with a low groan. The way your pussy clenches over him makes him shudder in overstimulation but he doesn’t want to pull out yet, hips moving slowly to savour the way you feel around him. 

After you both come down from your highs he pulls out slowly, licking his lips at the sight of his cum dripping out of your abused core. He turns you back around, kissing you deeper this time. He grins as your breath hitches in surprise, moving away to suck more marks into your neck. 

“You’re quite a good toy for stress relief, but I’d love to take you out for coffee sometime.” 

You rack your brain, trying to figure out if this is violating any of the student policy of your university. Perhaps you should have paid attention to the overly happy tour guides or went online to look at the student handbook. 

“Don’t worry - I’m not breaking any rules,” he chuckles, kissing your hand. You blink at him, confused. 

“So you mean to tell me you came inside of me just to ask me out?” He shrugs, seeming awfully nonchalant. 

“Perhaps.” 

#obey me lucifer x reader #lucifer x reader #lucifer smut #obey me lucifer smut

[corvidcircus]

A little birdie told me you're open for some requests, so here's some timeless classic: DMC boys with half-angel reader! Haven't seen those in a looooong while, and I'm a sucker for the whole angel-demon dynamic. Just please don't make them crystal pure saint, sheepish type. I'd much rather have reader to be fun, with zeal for adventure, some warrior spirit and good sense of humor, but still very kind.

It's all up to you though! Hope your muse will respond soon and thanks in advance <3

Anon, you have opened a very large can if worms for me, I thank you.

There will be several parts of this as I have so many thoughts about this; but we're gonna start with some bullet points so you aren't waiting a month.

The Basics

(i think) angels in the DMC universe are similar to the angels in bayonetta

that none of them are the classic 'fair-skinned pretty woman with white wings'

angels are messengers of God, sure, but they are also warriors

i'll expand on this in another post, bc it's nephilim time baybee

angel hybrids, like, demonic hybrids, are very disliked by both demonic and angelic beings

i think theyres only a couple of angels that would a. have enough contact with humans to have offspring and b. would be humanoid enough that people wouldn't go blind or insane upon meeting one

so nephilim come in three flavors, messenger, watcher, and guardian

messenger nephilim are the offspring of angels sent to the human world to deliver information, and then return to the celestial world

watcher nephilim come from angels stationed in the human world that report goings on, but rarely intervene (but are OP when they're allowed to)

guardian nephilim are related to the angels who act as warriors, and are therefore, very powerful fighters who enter and exit the human world as they please (also includes archangels)

nephilim inherit traits from their angel parent, some abilities, some physical features, but they always inherit the free will of their human parent

The Sparda Twins

Dante

boi never believed in angels before he met you

was a little annoyed at first, because, why the fuck haven't they been helping?

did they not notice the demon world opening? or the massive blood-sucking tree?

would likely end up with a watcher or guardian nephilim, based on his lifestyle

almost got bisected the first time you fought demons with him, he was way too busy watching you kick ass to be fighting efficiently

would be confused, and then jokingly offended if a demon went after you first

truthfully it worries him, asks nico about a way to hide your angelic nature from demons and angels

would understand if you didn't want to join DMC, he gets the gig isn't for everyone

amazed by any angelic features you have, treats them with utmost care

angel puns for days

"did it hurt when you fell from heaven, babe?" "i was born here dipshit"

calls you angel based names to tease you

loves your sass, entirely encourages it

if you have wings, will fly with you in sin form

is a very fun teacher, but it could take a while to get there

lets you beat him at sparring most of the time. he doesn't think you know. you know.

very proud of your strength

"this is my S/O. they can kick your ass. they can kick my ass. it's amazing."

Vergil

guardian nephilim all the way

seems rather hostile toward you at first, like, more than the usual level

(eventually admits that it's because your existence proves angels chose to let the day of the fire, and everything it led to, happen the way it did)

you may meet by fighting him, or fighting with him

it'll take a while for him to accept what he feels for you, so much so that you might have to make the first move

secretly likes that you don't just back down immediately if he challenges you

obviously intrigued by your skill as a warrior, and doubly so by any angelic ability you have

has many questions about angels and the celestial world

un-ironically calls you angel, seraph, and other names

would be quite confused as to why you would not want to kill demons as a profession

would be actively offended if a demon chose to attack you first

sees it as an attack on his mate, and his pride as a Son of Sparda

might look into the arcane arts to keep you off the radar of angels if you worry

trains with you, don't expect him to hold back in fighting or critique, but is a very fair teacher

enjoys the vicious streak you show while protecting others

will do anything for you, but knows you are kind and smart enough not to make him

values your council, especially when you help him realize he's being foolish

absolutely fascinated by whatever angelic features you have, treats them with care

"my angel can and will destroy you."

#devil may cry #vergil #dante #dante x reader #vergil x reader #dmc headcanons #my writing #request #the author talks too much #angels #nephilim #half-angel!reader #angelic!reader #gn!reader #this was so much fun #nero and v to come

[landwriter]

oh menacing writer of the land, I bow to thee. forgive me for my intrusion, for I come to you with great reverence. might I be granted with the holy scripture of the musician!dream x professor hob au? I bring an offering of information on touring, musician life + music industry insight, should you so graciously answer my prayers 🙏

a handsome gift! the least I can offer is more twitter beef au!! most of this was written right in my tumblr drafts when I was still labouring under the delusion that was I was doing could be called "describe the fic you would write" - hob learns about The Diss Track. in his introduction to english lit class:

On Thursday morning, Hob is walking to his lecture, wearing his one sweatervest, because he can, thank you very much. Morpheus hadn't posted in over a day, and he supposes that's just the speed of the internet, and their little battle of wits is over. When he gets into the hall and sets his bag down, every single one of his students looks up at once. And several young people who - who are not even his students, he thinks.

"Right, hello class. Good to see you all here and keen on our last lecture before winter break. And welcome to the new faces as well. I can only assume you're here because of your interest in Marlowe."

"Oh my god," someone says at the back, loud enough for Hob to hear. "He's wearing the vest." He firmly reminds himself this is exactly what he wanted.

Amanda, who sits at the front and always does the readings, raises her hand. Hob calls on her in relief.

"Uh. Professor. We love Marlowe. But haven't you seen it yet?"

Hob had forgotten to silence his phone and it's started buzzing. He ignores it.

"Seen what," he says, very levelly. Smiling firmly. Not at all panicking. Ignoring his students' exchanged glances.

"The song."

"It's a diss track," says another student.

"Sorry, yeah, the diss track."

The entire lecture hall is faintly vibrating with anticipation.

"Is there swearing?" he asks, "I mean, more than I do in class. Anything particularly offensive?"

"No, professor," she says, understanding immediately.

"Well, I suspect I'll find it pretty quickly if I check my phone just now, and that only half of you are here for Marlowe anyways, so let's just put it on, shall we?"

Some kids actually cheer. "Enough of that," he says, "We're going to have a rigorous academic discussion about it afterwards." Then, because he cannot and will not help himself, he adds, "Presuming, of course, there is sufficient subject matter to engage with."

He pulls out his phone and fails utterly to hide his grin at the chorus of ooohs. Someone in the back actually shouts, "Get him, professor!"

Sure enough, the same video has been sent to him half a dozen times. He pulls it up, gets it displayed on the lecture hall's screen, and presses play.

“Alright,” he says. “Let’s see what all this fuss is all about.”

He has enough professional goodwill from years of teaching to do this kind of stupid thing, and it's nice to cash it in, sometimes. He likes to be the cool professor when he can. Even in a sweatervest.

He leans back against the lectern to watch. It's not Morpheus on screen, but a woman that Hob distantly recognizes. She's gorgeous, and apparently, given the rapturous whispers behind him, also at least a little famous. She's surrounded by takeaway containers, fiddling with her phone until music starts playing. "Good job, baby brother." She takes a sip of her beer and then wipes her mouth, and grins brightly right at the camera. "This one's for you, prof," she says, laughing.

Afterwards, the entire lecture hall is silent. Hob is silent.

"Holy shit," says a student, and Hob turns around, face burning. "She murdered you."

Hob gathers himself. He feels a little dizzy. It might low blood sugar. Or love.

"Indeed. Right. Well. Certainly a lot to unpack there." His hands are a little sweaty. It's definitely love. "This isn’t a classics class, but I know some of you are classics students and would be happy to educate us, so let’s start with that parallel made right at the start between the Lotophagi - that’s the lotus-eaters from The Odyssey - and the concept of academia as an ivory tower. Who wants to talk about that?"

Five different hands shoot up. "Wow. Okay, okay," he laughs. "Tristan, start us off."

In the next 80 minutes, he hardly gets a word in edgewise. He is, absolutely gloriously, playing discussion moderator instead of lecturer. Hob knows, feels it in his gut even now, that he will look back on this as one of the best classes he’s ever held. Students are twisting around in their chairs to engage with each other.

It is, he thinks, absolutely worth a bit of murdering.

#asks #the sandman #dreamling #wip filename ask meme #twitter beef au #wip excerpts #my writing

[clairdeluneandmurder]

A selection of unhinged quotes from my political theory professor:

"Socrates has a tiny ghost in his head telling him when things are wrong. Unfortunately, it doesn’t tell him when things are right so he’s just really annoying."

*Brings a 1-liter bottle of sparkling water to every class and drinks the whole thing during lecture.*

“The flood happened because God looked down at earth and said ‘I don’t know what the hell I’m supposed to do with this’, and so he nerfed us again.”

“God comes down and asks ‘Where my people at?’ And Adam and Eve are like ‘We done fucked up’.”

“Any schmuck can match their socks to their shoes but the mark of a true gentleman is matching your socks to your mood.” - said because someone insulted his neon pink socks.

“At that point, everyone else would be dead and it would just be Carl Schmidt waddling around Germany all alone.”

Prof: “Is the Illuminati still a thing with your generation?” Student: “Yeah” Prof: “The number one rule of the Illuminati is toughen the fuck up.”

“You can read Hobbes’ Behemoth if you're like a glutton for punishment or something.”

“The neat thing about soup is that you can start with the same ingredients and end up with a new soup every time.”

“If any of you steal my pies I’m going to assume you’re possessed by a demon... I made a pie yesterday. You have NO IDEA how much fruit goes into one of those fuckers.”

“The great thing about Locke is he’s dead. Once you’re a corpse you can be used for anything.”

“I am the crazy leftist professor your parents warned you about. I will make you read Marx and I will say that racism is bad. Sue me.”

"de Sade would be great at being on the internet. And I do mean that as an insult."

Brought a jar to class and put a dollar in it every time he used the word ‘neoliberal’, said he'd give us the money that goes in at the end of the semester. (we each got 3 bucks, there are 15 people in the class)

"Time is a flat circle and I am but a lonely goldfish cracker."

“By a show of hands, who is hungover today? I’ll go first to make you feel better. I am hungover today, be nice to me."

Starts lecture by writing on the whiteboard: “THE ECONOMY IS STUPID”

“Just to be clear, I’m not saying we should guillotine people who open soap shops on Etsy.”

“People don’t get my Simpsons references anymore. You kids today with your sponge bob and anime.”

“If you need help, please ask for it. The worst thing that happens is I send you a super condescending email and you’re no worse off.”

“You’re a shitty libertarian if you accidentally become a Leninist.”

“Anyone seen one of these modern garbage trucks? It’s sick right?! Pretty fucking cool!” proceeds to do an impression of a garbage truck “Marx would love to drive around a dope robot truck.”

"That’s what makes babies just awful. They don’t understand that they don’t always get what they want."

"For how many of y’all does getting stoned and staring at a wall to ponder morality sound like a great class?"

“I once had a student use the topic 'The only way to commune with the aliens is through nuclear warfare' for this assignment, nothing you write can scare me anymore."

“I'm not going to make you read this. It’s 4 volumes, 2500 pages, and mostly about how linen is produced. Moments of brilliance though.”

“I think we should replace the death penalty with public humiliation. ”

"Crude Freudism will get you 80% of the way there 90% of the time."

"I’m going to throw my uncle under the bus here… Actually, I fucking hated that guy and he’s dead so whatever."

"The best thing you can do for your future happiness is to never think about politics. …I say to a bunch of people enrolled in a 400-level political theory class. Y’alls mental health is fucked I guess."

"God tells you not to do the one Bad Thing and Eve is just so sexy that man has to do the one Bad Thing."

"I haven’t worn a 1950’s bra but I’ve heard they’re very uncomfortable. …Not that I’m opposed, I just don’t have the access and I've been banned from three museums so far."

"Course evaluations are available now y’all. I don’t care what you say about me or the class, but make sure you mention how great my hair is."

"Identity politics can be useful, but I think we’ve probably taken it too far since now we’re at the point where Kid Rock is shotgunning 18 packs of bud light on Twitter as a form of protest."

"We basically live in an aristocracy where you can vote. Sorry to disappoint you if you think Joe Biden is a communist."

"Do you know why we didn’t celebrate international workers day on May first? Because America says fuck you, that’s why."

#professor quotes #unhinged quotes #political theory #he is seriously the best professor I've ever had #yes i have more quotes #they're all this insane

[pokemon-ash-aus]

I also had the soft nice thought of obviously later after graduating with degrees ect Peach gets her own Iab maybe with prof oak help and invites her friend over to see and also cause well lore time she supposes, so Peach shows her her lab and the friend is just so thrilled for her like "Oh my Arceus....Peachyy this is brilliant!! You absolutely deserve this wow" just hell YEA friend is doing well! Friend is getting good things!! She's just really happy for Peach and knows Peach absolutely deserves all these good things without a shadow of a doubt like dang you really earned this bestie

And Peach is just lmao letting her friend admire the equipment and space ect before confessing that there's something else she wants to show her and the friend is just oh there's more?? You got a basement? Did you get your fossil ressurection license already??? Do you have the machine??

Just being a bit of a nerd and Peach laughs lightly telling her to settle down ya great nerd as if they both aren't nerds before dropping Transform and revealing her mewtwo form and friend is *buffering processing dial up noise* before kinda just "wow you're beautiful" because brain empty but friend be pretty!!! Cause she's probably always loved Peach in a bestie way absolutely gassed her up a lot lmao cause she thought she was wonderful and pretty and a kind caring soul. Before being like "ah sorry that was probably rude! Thank you for showing me for sharing?" like how the fuck does one respond to this internally like 'thank you for sharing?? What with the class?? Is this kindergarten or something silly bitch?' just mentally regretting sentence while also her science brain is running a thousand miles a minute cause what does this mean?? Before like emotional brain hits it with a stick because that's our FRIEND we don't have to understand!! She's shown us and we're grateful

Peach can probably half see the smoke of her friends brain being confused but she can hear her thoughts basically saying doesn't matter is friend and she was probably already pretty comfortable if she shared this.

Then the friend proceeds to lmao ask zero follow up questions at all about it like welp this is how it is now XD and Peach is probably kind of amused because she's always been pretty dang respectful in that way probably playfully bumps into her like "you're really curious and you wanna know more don't you?"

And she's just "ahhh I'm sorry I dooooo but you're my friend and that'd be really rude to do thatttt" and Peach just laughs and gives her permission to ask

I think at one point the friend asks like where Peach's lisp and stutter went because she'd have swapped to telepathy and Peach explains and friend is kinda like oh makes sense, while missing her actual spoken voice but not saying because she respects Peach chose to switch cause she must prefer telepathy so shes in no right to like bring it up last thing she wants to do is make Peach uncomfortable or self conscious or anything

If in an alternative had seen two Pepper before seeing two Peach she would be like OH THINGS MAKE A LOT MORE SENSE NOW.

But lmao since she hasn't seen two Pepper yet things make LESS sense like where did the child come from then??? Though the random electric shocks she got folding Peach's laundry on laundry day makes sense now!! And the Psychic stuff

Peach probably vaguely admits that yes her brothers are like her but doesn't say more as well not her place to tell and they're probably visiting later so friend can see for herself and honestly she's probably honestly really touched by the gesture that Peach is letting her into her world for a second time and is just like really appreciative, probably awkwardly jokes like "I should've gotten you a plant" and Peach just snorts because what is it with you and getting fucking plants for people's houses oh my god. But it's a good tension breaker and shows they're really still on the same page

It DEFO takes a long time for Peach to even remotely drop her disguise around friends. It took her almost 9 years before she dropped it around Daisy. So more than likely the friend would know more about Ash and Indigo before Peach was okay enough to drop her disguise!

BUT! She would let her know (Hey Im a Pokemon, and i just use transform) before switching over to mimicked Telepathy.

[kafus]

Anon for my safety <3 I have DID as well prof diagnosed, and reading your posts hit home. It hurts so badly when I see kids who were similarly abused and developed a literal last resort disorder just to survive, only to be called “cringe” and “attention seeker” when they genuinely seek help. God forbid a trauma victim find joy in life, you must suffer forever in order to be valid.

Me and my host are in a dedicated relationship with eachother, we love each other so openly and emotionally in a way you can’t feel with a “real” (/s )relationship. Our minds are forever intertwined, our existence built on abuse and terror no child should ever receive. And yet, in midst of all the chaos, the lost time, the confusion, we learn that loving each other is loving ourselves, and I would have it no other way.

the love for her is healing for me, it is a reminder that we live and we love, that we are not broken and insane as the media portrays us. There is something so domestic about it, and perhaps we are even saving money on the grocery bill. The situation is not ideal, the circumstances are not great, but being alive, even as nothing more than an “alter” as all and everything I could have ever asked for.

I hope that ever person who similarly suffers as we did seeks help and receives gentle and tender care. As much as I would like to pretend, we are still ill and must still fight the demons of trauma that were imposed on us. This disorder is not an easy one, but it is not a curse either. Let your alters know you love them, appreciate them for the memories they hold, similar to yourself. When you care for them, you care for you.

i am not as eloquent about the subject of in-system dating in public spaces such as tumblr because i. have been notably hurt over it before. so i am awkward. however i wanted to thank you a lot for sending this message because i don't think i've ever actually felt like someone Understands the seriousness of my relationship and the... specific kind of love that emerges from dating an alter, someone who is both you and not you and who intimately knows you in your actual darkest moments and who only exists because of those memories. someone you change from being forced to spend your life with and instead choose to spend your life with. someone who embodies healing from the worst of trauma. the sort of love that is both loving another and learning to love yourself. Overcoming. Living. etc. so thank you for helping me/us feel Seen today tbh. all my posts this morning were spawned from a nightmare i had last night and it was really ruining my mood today but this cheered me up a little bit.

like you said DID is not easy and the situation is definitely not ideal but it is not a curse, it's proof that we survived. learning to love and care for your alters is learning to love yourself and all the fragmented parts of you. anyone who is suffering with this hell deserves the care and assistance to be able to get to a point where there is joy and it's not nothing but constant suffering. not people on the internet further shoving them away from recovery and telling them they're wrong for wanting to experience joy and not hate themselves for eternity. it is so pessimistic to believe that people with DID will never be happy. it is hard to be happy but it is possible! we make the best of it even when it fucking sucks!! that's survival babey!!!

idk how clearly i worded this sorry if anything came off a little weird i am super switchy and disoriented today actually </3 but hopefully what i was trying to say came thru anyways

#asks #anonymous #kiki was here

[risingphoenix87]

Villainous Found Family Incorrect Quotes...YEAH!

(including some yuletide ones by shear accident!)

Hans, pointing to Gothel and Syndrome: Distract them! I'll be right back! *leaves*

Randall: Okay!

*five minutes later*

Hans: *returns and sees Gothel and Syndrome unconscious on the ground* What did you do? I said distract them, not knock them out!

Randall, holding a plank in two of his hands: There's just no pleasing you sometimes.

Charles: We both look very handsome tonight.

Prof. Callaghan: You know, if you'd just said that I looked handsome, I would have said, "So do you."

Charles: I couldn’t take that chance.

[Scenario: Kaa has decided to tell Randall that she’s coming out as transgender]

Randall: Well, how do you feel, babe?

Kaa: It feelssss right.

Randall: Well then, all I have to say is…[embraces her and kisses her forehead]...I have the hottest girlfriend in the world!

(no, none of these guys are transphobic; they’re villains, not barbarians!)

Turbo: I have locked Phoenix in a cage designed by their own art. Oh, he's been well and truly hoisted by her own petard.

Syndrome: Could you put it another way? I didn’t understand a word of that.

Turbo: I’m blackmailing them.

Syndrome: Oh, happy days.

*Dawn falls over*

Ernesto: ¡Ovejita! Are you alright?

Dawn: Is that you, God?

Ernesto: What?

Dawn: It's just, you sound a lot more like Ernie than I expected.

Ernesto: ¡Hola, mi familia!

The Squad:...

Ernesto: You might be wondering why I’m taped to the ceiling…

Randall: ...This is one of those moments where it doesn't really matter what I have to say, isn't it?

Randall: Christmas lights?

Hans: Check.

Dawn: Thermos of hot cocoa?

Hans: Check.

Turbo: Santa suits?

Hans: Check.

Gothel: Shovel?

Hans: Check.

Syndrome: Alibi and bail money?

Hans: Check- wait, WHAT?!

Dawn: Hey guys! I drew everyones soul!

Ernesto: Why is Hans’s a monster?

Gothel: Dawn, you forgot Ernesto’s! It's only an empty space!

Dawn, proudly: Exactly.

Dawn: Do you ever feel bugs on you when really there’s nothing there?

Syndrome: Those are the ghosts of the bugs you killed before.

Dawn:😳

Dawn: *sobs*

Hans: You fucking scared her, you idiot.

Randall: What are you in the mood for?

Kaa: World domination.

Randall: That's a bit ambitious.

Kaa: You are my world.

Randall: Aww...

Kaa: …

Randall: …

Kaa: [now wearing a leather domme hat and holding a whip in her mouth]

Randall: OH.

Prof. Callaghan: We vegetarians love the environment. Carnivores are sick freaks.

Charles: How can vegetarians possibly love the environment? You keep eating all the fucking plants.

(if I had a dollar for every time I've heard something along those lines)

Randall: We need more help. Maybe I should call my friends.

Turbo: ...Your what?

Randall: My friends.

Dawn: Did he say “friends”?

Gothel: I think he's being sarcastic.

Hans: No, no, no, this is delirium, he's cracked from being awake all night. Hey, Randall! All of your friends are in this room. 

Hans: Where's Dawn?

Randall: Don't worry, I'll find her.

Randall, shouting: Ernesto de la Cruz sucks!

Dawn, distantly: Hey, that’s my friend! Fuck you!

Randall: Found her. 

Randall: Why does my third arm shake and turn bright red when I’m eating dirt?

Hans:...Why are you eating dirt?

Randall: Did I ask you if I should eat dirt? No, so answer my question.

Dawn: Well, needless to say. Uh-oh Spaghetti-os.

Prof. Callaghan: Okay, I’m going to get the wedding cake.

Charles: Perfect, while you do that I’ll check on the ring bear.

Prof. Callaghan: …You mean ring bearER, right?

Charles: ...

Prof. Callaghan: Look me in the eyes and tell me you are not going to bring a dangerous wild animal to our wedding.

Hans: That’s it! You’re grounded. Turbo, no racing for you! Ernesto, no Dawn for you! Professor, no science for you! And Gothel... Oh my god, is that anything that you love?

Gothel: Revenge.

Hans: No vengeance for you.

Gothel: I was gonna say “I’ll get you for this” but I guess that’s off the table.

Syndrome, when Charles refuses to help him with a “suicide mission”: Weren’t you supposed to be some centuries old badass?

Charles: Yes. And you know how you get to be centuries old? You pick your battles.

Gothel: If I was married to you I would put poison in your coffee.

Charles: If I was married to you I’d drink it.

Prof. Callaghan, holding an antique bottle: Is this whiskey or perfume?

Charles: *grabs and chugs the entire bottle*

Charles:

Charles: It's perfume.

Turbo: Randall...

Randall: I can tell by the tone of your voice that you are disappointed. Alas, I must further disappoint you by affirming how little I give a fuck.

Dawn, wearing a sweater several sizes too large for her: I like wearing oversized sweaters. Not just because they're extremely comfy and cuddly, but because whenever the sleeves are really big, I get to flop them around and smack people.

Charles: *sneaking in through their window*

Prof. Callaghan: *turning in their chair and flicking the light on* You want to tell me where you've been all night?

Charles: I was with Randall?

Randall: *turning in his chair* Wanna try again?

(fuckin’ snitch…)

Syndrome: I dare you-

Hans: Randall is not allowed to accept dares anymore.

Syndrome: Why not?

Randall: "I have no regard for my own or others' personal safety", as some would say.

Prof. Callaghan: Anybody got any crayons so I can color in my Ph. D.?

Prof. Callaghan: What do we say when making bread?

Ernesto, glumly: That's the dough rising.

Prof. Callaghan: And what do we NOT say?

Dawn, sadly: That's the yeast fucking.

Prof. Callaghan: I have a bad feeling about this...

Randall: What do you mean?

Prof. Callaghan: Don't you ever get that little voice in your head that tells you if you're going to get into trouble?

Randall: No?

Gothel: That actually explains so much.

Dawn: *double checking supplies in the boat* Compass. CB radio. Sunscreen.

Turbo: Hot dog costumes!

Dawn: I’m sorry, what?

Turbo: You know, in case we get lost at sea, and one of us, probably Gothel, goes mad with hunger, we’ll put these on. Gothel hates hot dogs, so she probably won’t eat us.

Dawn: Are you saying that Gothel would rather eat us than hot dogs?

Gothel: I do hate hot dogs.

Syndrome: *walks to cabinet, removes oreo box, takes half a sleeve, throws empty box out* Hi!

Hans : Hey- what are you doing-?

Syndrome, shoving an oreo into his mouth: I am saving space :D

Prof. Callaghan: Being gay is a constant battle between "I wish to sit on a window bench with my lover, our legs tangling as we listen to the birds" and "Hey, let's go throw rocks at fascists" and I think that's very sexy of us.

Charles: If the window's open and you time it right, you can do both.

(I am very much in love with the elder science husbands)

Gothel: *writing a letter*

Gothel: Dear Santa,

I'm writing to let you know I've been naughty...

And it was worth it you fat, judgemental bastard.

Dawn: You read my diary?

Ernesto: At first I did not know it was your diary. I thought it was a very sad handwritten book.

(you know Ernesto is absolutely the type to read his best friend’s diary)

Hans : So Ernesto, how did your first time cooking dinner go?

Ernesto: Pretty good if I do say so myself.

Hans : Oo! Okay, what are we having?

Ernesto: Alright, so for appetizers, we have a potato.

Hans : A whole potato?

Ernesto: Yes. And then for the main course, we have grilled cheese sandwiches!

Hans : These just look like big slabs of black.

Ernesto: Because that's what they are!

Ernesto: And then for dessert, we have chocolate.

Hans : These are just chocolate chips?

Ernesto: They sure are!

Ernesto: And then for drinks, we have toast!

Ernesto: *lifts up a glass of blended toast* Salud!

(Ernesto would be the king of malicious compliance)

Charles: I’m going to hell.

Prof. Callaghan: Probably.

Charles: I'll pick you up?

Prof. Callaghan: *nodding* Carpool.

Dawn: You are now one day closer to eating your next plate of nachos.

Prof. Callaghan: That's the most hopeful thing I've ever heard.

Randall: But what if I die tomorrow and never eat any nachos?

Charles: Then tomorrow is nacho lucky day.

(yikes...dog dad jokes)

Dawn: Everyone thinks I'm this soft cute person but I'm not!

Syndrome: Dawn, you cried for an hour after stepping on a bug yesterday.

Dawn: It had feelings! It was probably going home to dinner and I killed it!

Hans : ...It was a bug.

Dawn: It was a BEETLE, and its wife is definitely worried sick, wondering where it is, and I really don't get why you all think I'm so sentimental because I'm not!

Syndrome: ...

Hans : ...

Dawn: Stop looking at me like that!

Randall, to Dawn: Are you peanuts? Because I want to boil you alive.

Ernesto: Look, do I consider myself attractive? Yes. But would I have sex with my clone? Also yes.

Hans: It’s Christmas! Are you all in a Christmas mood?!

Dawn: Merry crisis.

Ernesto: Jingle bells, jingle bells, single all the way.

Gothel: Hoe hoe hoe.

Hans: Guys, please.

Syndrome: Ah, yes. Here we have a beautiful couple...

Randall: I really care about your feelings!

Kaa: I really care about YOUR feelingsssss!

Syndrome, turning his head: ...and then there's the disaster couple...

Charles: YOU NEED TO PAY MORE ATTENTION TO ME INSTEAD OF BEING AT THE HOSPITAL!

Prof. Callaghan: I WOULDN'T HAVE TO SPEND SO MUCH TIME AT THE HOSPITAL IF YOU STOPPED INSISTING ON FIGHTING EVERYONE WHO COMES WITHIN A FIVE FOOT RADIUS OF YOU!

Gothel: I think I should be allowed on ghost hunter tv shows.

Ernesto: I think that would be dangerous for the ghosts.

(he would know…)

Gothel: Dawn has discovered "deez nuts" jokes and it's all she says now. Everything is deez nuts. She simply can't stop.

Gothel: I asked Dawn where she learned that joke. She made me promise she wouldn't get in trouble if they told me. I agreed.

Gothel: So she leans in and whispers, "deez nuts."

Ernesto: Una fiesta is a celebration of a life, bringing people together to let the guest of honor know how much they’re loved. Hans has done so much for us. This is our chance to do something for him.

Prof. Callaghan: By forcing him to have fun at a party that he doesn’t want to be at?

Ernesto: I knew you’d understand.

Hans: What do we think of Dawn?

*pause*

Ernesto: *sighs* Amiga mejor.

Syndrome: I think she’s gay.

Charles: I got an idea!

Prof. Callaghan: Does it involve breaking the law?

Charles: By now don’t you think that’s a given?

Prof. Callaghan: I was just trying to be optimistic.

Charles: Don’t bother.

Dawn: Hey Ernie.

Ernesto: *punches Dawn in the stomach*

Dawn: What the hell?

Ernesto: You are one of my very best friends. And I cannot stand by and watch you throw away your life like this. You're too young, Ovejita....YOU'RE TOO BEAUTIFUL!

Dawn: What the hell are you talking about?

Ernesto: I'm talking about the baby that's growing inside of your belly right now.

Turbo: See ya! *leaves*

Dawn: I'm not pregnant!

Ernesto: Well, not after that punch you're not. I've been taking muay thai classes.

Dawn: I was never pregnant, Ernie!

Ernesto: Are... you sure?

Dawn: Yes I'm f***ing sure!

Hans: I'm sorry, but why the f*** is everybody yelling over here?

Ernesto: Oh, I found this positive pregnancy test and—

Hans: *punches Dawn in the stomach*

Dawn: AW, MOTHERFU--

Charles: When life gives you lemons, don't make lemonade. Make life take the lemons back! Get mad! I don't want your damn lemons, what the hell am I supposed to do with these? Demand to see life's manager! Make life rue the day it thought it could give Charles F. Muntz lemons! Do you know who I am? I'm the person who's gonna burn your house down! With the lemons! I'm gonna get my husband to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down!

#black comedy #villainous found family AU #disney villains #pixar villains #old man shouts at life about lemons #humor #incorrect quotes #merry christmas ya filthy animals #and a happy new year

[juanarc-thethird]

A continuation of Ruby tricks Jaune to marry her pls. Jaune try to go to Ozpin to see if he can annul the marriage, but is surprised that he can't and also the world marriage trigger some sort of vietnam memories. Sadly for him, Tai and Qrow are there to congratulate their daughter/niece for her marriage, things go south and now they are trying to beat him for trying to annul his marriage with Ruby

Sorry for the delay with this Ask. I'm bad at organizing my time for these things 😅 First part Here

------------------------

At Prof. Ozpin's office

Jaune: *Panic* Prof. Ozpin, you have to help me!!

Ozpin: Calm down Mr. Arc, take a deep breath, and tell me what's going on.

He takes a deep breath and calms down a bit.

Jaune: *Worry* I need your help Professor. Ruby set me up.

Ozpin: She set you up? What did she do?

Jaune: She told me that she wanted me to sign a card for her sister. She told me to sign on a piece of paper that was covered by another piece of paper, but with a hole for the signature.

Ozpin: Ok

Jaune: So I sign and then she reveals that it wasn't a letter to Yang!

Ozpin: Oh, what did you sign?

Jaune: Sign a marriage certificate.

After hearing that Prof. Ozpin turns white as a ghost.

Ozpin: Did you say... a marriage certificate?

Jaune: Yes, and I wanted to know if you could help me to annul it.

Ozpin breathing becomes heavier.

Ozpin: It's happening again.

Jaune: Professor?

Ozpin: *Panic* It's happening again!!!

Jaune: Professor Ozpin, calm down! Is something wrong?!

Ozpin: No you don't understand boy. There is no escape for this. I once wanted to escape and lost my life trying!!!

Jaune: You mean you almost lost your life, right?

Ozpin grabs him by the shoulders and looks him in the eye with an expression of terror.

Ozpin: Listen well, Jaune. Now that you've got time, run. Run as far as you can and never come back.

Jaune: You're scaring me Professor.

Ozpin: And you should be! Run now, don't waste time, you don't want it to be too late.

Jaune: Too late for what?

Glynda (speaker phone): Prof. Ozpin, Tai and Qrow came to visit. They say they want to meet their new son-in-law

Ozpin lets him go and walks to the phone.

Jaune: Prof. Ozpin?

Ozpin: It's too late.

Jaune: Sir?

Ozpin: It was a pleasure to meet you, Mr. Arc. *To the phone* Glynda, please let them in.

The office doors open and two people appear that Jaune has never met in person. They look like good people, but dangerous at the same time.

Tai: Hi, sorry to interrupt your chat.

Ozpin: Don't worry. How can I help you?

Qrow: We want to meet the brat who got his hands on my niece.

Tai: Do you know where we can find him? Or maybe you can call him?

Ozpin: There is no need to look for him or call him. He… *start to cry a little* He is right there. *Points at Jaune*

He then takes a handkerchief from his back pocket and wipes away his tears.

Ozpin: Please forgive me.

Qrow: Why are you crying?

Ozpin: Is nothing. It's better that I get out. Mr Arc, you will always be in my memory.

Ozpin walks out of the office, leaving Jaune alone with Ruby's Dad and Uncle.

Tai: I hope he's okay. But anyway, Jaune, right?

Jaune: *Worry* Yes sir!

Tai: Why did you marry my daughter?

Qrow: Yeah, why did you marry a girl younger than you? Big girls your age were too much for you?! Answer me!!!

Jaune: *Cover his face with his arms* Please don't hit me!

Tai: Whoa, calm down. We're here to congratulate the couple. Jaune, don't worry about him. He is very overprotective of my daughters. But I am interested to know why you two decided to get married so young. Couldn't wait until graduation? HAHAHA!

Jaune: Actually sir…

Tai: Please calle me Tai.

Jaune: Actually Tai, Ruby tricked me into marrying her. She made me sign a marriage certificate.

Tai: Oh she did that to you. My ex-wife did the same thing to me, but she did it differently if you know what I mean. *Wink*

Qrow: *quietly* Dear God.

Tai: *Smiling* So, are you planning to celebrate your marriage? Because if you want we can do it at my house. There is a beautiful view of the lake that will make you fall in love with it.

Jaune: Actually, sir, I'm trying to annul the marriage.

Tai: You're trying what?

Jaune: Annul the marriage. You see, I never wanted to marry Ruby.

Tai: *mad* Why not? Is she not good enough for you? Is that what you're saying?

Jaune: No no! She's a great girl, but…

Qrow: But what? Do you think you can get a better girl? Ruby is the sweetest and most beautiful girl that has ever existed in this world!

Jaune: Is not that! She set me up!!

Qrow: And what?! Don't you like the idea of having a family with her?!!

Tai: Does my daughter disgust you?!!!

Jaune: I did not say that!! I know she is beautiful and sweet!

Qrow: Then why do you want to annul the marriage?!

Jaune: Because she set me up!

Tai: Hold him Qrow, I'll teach this jerk a lesson.

Qrow: With pleasure.

Jaune: Someone help me!!!!

#jaune arc #rwby jaune arc #rwby jaune #jaune #rwby taiyang xiao long #rwby taiyang #taiyang xiao long #taiyang #qrow branwen #rwby qrow #rwby qrow branwen #qrow #professor ozpin #rwby ozpin #rwby

[shezasag]

thank god we're moving into math that actually makes sense to me!!!!! (percentages) fuck algebra and graphing!!!!!!!!

my brain just....struggles with algebra tracing back to 4th grade when i got switched into gifted math courses halfway thru the school year & they kept telling me to solve for x but never gave explanations as to what that means or the basics of algebra no matter how frequently i asked for help & like....sure conceptually i understand algebra now but my brain short-circuits and cannot hold information relating to it for long

also my math prof asked me 2 separate times to use graph paper and rulers for graphing and i had to explain to him that i am in fact using graph paper and a straight edge but my essential tremor makes it impossible to draw straight lines no matter what tools i use and thankfully he was just like "thank you for the clarification" and didn't tell me to figure it out lmao

#i still got an 87% on the 1st test tho so i'm happy w/ that #and the mistakes i made were me overcomplicating algebra because of aforementioned short-circuiting brain

[padfootastic]

I’m sorry for spamming you, but that whole scene in POA is objectively hilarious and insane, so. Not only do Sirius and Remus plan on killing Peter, pretty sure Harry is the only one who objects to this. Peter is begging everyone there not to let this happen, Remus and Sirius are not reconsidering, Ron is completely disgusted with Peter, and Hermione is having the worst time imaginable, but I think that neither Ron nor Hermione tell them not to do this once Sirius and Remus commit to the decision. Harry’s sole objection is that James wouldn’t want this, which is actually what stops them; James’s approval has magical properties and even from beyond the grave, he’s the main influence on Sirius. However, Ron and Hermione refusing to do Jack to help Peter is easily one of the best parts, because it’s got the vibe of “we too would kill someone for betraying our best friend, this is understandable.”

gosh no, please don’t apologise. it’s been the best thing waking up the past couple days to all these asks in my inbox, and they’re making me thing in a different way too. plus, they’re actually getting me to use tumblr again which i’ve wanted to for weeks now but haven’t been able to so i should thank you!! and apologise for being so all over the place with this lol i feel like i’ve just messed up the entire order 💀

but okay, yeah, unhinged marauders are so superior it’s a wonder we don’t have more of it? like, the way i’m thinking is a characterisation where they don’t take themselves too seriously, go about life fucking shit up & not giving a shit, and just take each day as it comes, really. also, the way you described this scene makes it even more hilarious plsss now i really want a video edit with the wii (mii?) music in the background, and emojis + cartoon effects added because the whole thing is just ridiculous. also!!! how can we forget snape!!! his comedic timing + kind sacrifice as sirius’ lab rat was the icing on top of the cake tbh. the way sirius did not even take his eyes off peter until snape’s name was mentioned, how he momentarily ignored his whole plan just to taunt the man (just read the scene and apparently that’s a movie addition but ykno what. i’ll take it) and also. harry, god. what a dude. he literally calls snape pathetic and a fool 😭😭😭 i love this boy so much. u just know sirius would’ve looked back at that scene later, once everything had died down, and been so fkn proud of his godson.

(also the last line is making me imagine a ‘potter support group’ where all the cult members (best) friends of a potter come together to talk about their respective idiots & the magical charisma they have. once again, dark lord potter ftw)

also, hermione really is having the worst time, isn’t she? she’s tired, overstressed, keeping secrets, on the outs w one of her bffs, unable to keep up w her schoolwork, in a foreign place and that’s just the base. then, she finds out she covering for a prof who might want her best friend dead, there’s another dude who’s extremely unhinged who cannot be trusted, there’s the fkn far she loathes right there, ron has a broken leg, snape is right there and they had to stun him and now she’s worried about that, and finally harry has zero sense of self preservation. i feel like in that moment she just really wants to turn her time turner back until none of this happens. she deserves it too.

#sirius black #james potter #harry potter #remus lupin #i’m gonna be honest—my answers are getting more incoherent as i speak #i had two more minimum to post rn but i don’t think it’s happening #my eyes are drooping and im making less sense w each one #i am so sorry lol #promise i’ll get to the rest tomorrow <3 #also lowkey harry’s inner monologue is hilarious #in the midst of all this chaos he’s applauding hermione’s homework skills 😭 #pen’s asks

[troglobite]

shitty prof i had in grad school who clearly hated me for being queer and disabled like from the jump (she hated me before i even met her--i spoke w the guy who ended up being my adviser on the phone, and he said he enthusiastically showed my application to her, so i think she hated me from that moment)

anyway

she told me abt the production y'all are gushing abt on here

the one of midsummer night's dream where titania and oberon switch narrative places. makes it queer and fun and interesting.

she told me abt that

and then said

"but what does that matter if the ppl watching it haven't read the original and don't know that it's been switched"

and at the time i'm sitting there like oh an interesting question

now i'm here on the other side like

oh it matters bc either ppl walk away thinking that the queerness was explicit in the original and then have an interesting journey ahead of them finding out that it wasn't in that way, but might've been in another way--

or they just see a play they really like and get to see some fun queerness, and understand the words in the play differently, through the lens and themes that the director and dramaturg wanted them to see it through.

like there is no way in which someone who hasn't read the original is at a loss for having only seen a swapped or queered production of shakespeare without context.

like just say you're a bigot and go, you fucking shithead.

god i fucking hate her.

i don't spend energy on it but i just saw another gif set from this thing and i got thinking abt it again.

also she said that she saw a bunch of teenage girls who went to see the taming of the shrew, she assumed bc of 10 things i hate about you, and she was like, yikes i wonder what they thought after seeing how violent and awful it was

and i'm like

okay again why do you hate teenage girls

why do you think they were stupid and clueless, that they hadn't read ANYTHING abt the production (often there are WARNINGS for violence and effects included in the production--god knows there was when i saw julius caesar)

why do you pity them

and like are you implicitly saying we shouldn't fucking adapt from older works to make fun new things that strip away the parts that aren't helpful to the story, or that don't fit in our modern context??? like what are you saying?

the taming of the shrew is one of shakespeare's early plays and yeah it feels kind of irredeemable. it's not v good. the language isn't as advanced, the plot and characters are like genuinely fucked up. and i read it w my adviser, but we didn't get to spend a whole lot of time on it--and i'd actually really relish the opportunity to do so.

i'd like to more fully explore the misogyny within it. given the v much not misogynistic takes and themes in shakespeare's later plays, i'd like to explore that more. why/how does he change? is there something still subversive in this deeply fucked up, not v masterful, work? (like the way that i think 'as you like it' is a satire of the comedic form at the time, &it was one of the last comedies he ever wrote) or is it an example of him finding his voice and establishing his career by writing what was popular and expected at the time? OR did he genuinely think this shit was funny and cool? can we ever know? does it matter as much as what we do w it now and what it can teach us abt this time and place in history?

and like you can't tell me that a modern production of it doesn't do the same thing, and that those "poor stupid teenage girls" didn't also walk away with a different understanding.

and also, why does it matter if ppl come away from a shakespeare play w the "wrong" impression of it or him?

my autism brain is barking like a dog on a chain at ppl having Incorrect Information and Impressions, but that's me. i can also just let it lie, let it be, and it's fine.

bc genuinely, what is the harm???

idfk man

i really hate her.

i had a woman in my cohort who was selected as her TA (even though i asked for the position 🙃 it was all remote at that time so i could've 🙃) who came to me and was like

okay i'm not a shakespeare person (THIS WAS FOR A SHAKESPEARE CLASS--I ASKED TO BE THE TA FOR THIS--SHE DID NOT CHOOSE ME okay i'm done) can you help me argue against some shit that she's saying in class bc it seems super shitty?

and i was like yep don't mind me

so i gave her tons of resources and info and interpretations of the texts.

for some reason, in ALLLLLLLL of the text of hamlet, his LONGEST play, this woman (the prof) was focused on ONE LINE. in which hamlet, in a fit of angst and depression and grief, says that he would rather be the mutines in the bilboes, or makes a reference or slavery or some such shit.

and she was OBSESSED with it, and somehow came out the other side saying that the instance referenced here "wasn't that bad" or something.

and it's like. no. bro. he is literally saying, emotionally, that he feels as bad as mutines in the bilboes or enslaved ppl on a ship and like--THAT is what you need to unpack. not that he says "oh they're better off than me" bc they had like tiny lil freedoms given to them. but that they were treated reprehensibly, and in a fit of emotional torment this literal prince compares himself to him. in a theatrical and poetic sense, yeah, you're trying to drive a point home--but why not unpack THAT CHOICE??? i mean. whatever.

anyway so this poor woman in my cohort--a woman of color whose focus in her phd was examining, iirc, immigrant narratives & orientalism in like 19th c. lit? or something? something like that--had to cope w this fucking horrid woman for the whole semester, using what i had given her to help educate students BETTER.

it's just a genuine mess and i am still upset abt it. not as viscerally as i was two years ago when it happened. i'm not shaking w fury rn. which i was at the time.

i'm just still thinking abt it bc something reminded me, and it's one of those things that you just feel the need to Talk About sometimes. and no one really likes me talking abt shakespeare [stares at unmasking autism and shifts in discomfort] so i'm just doing it here. bc i'm thinking abt it and i'm tired and recovering from a REALLY bad flareup of whatever autoimmune thing i have. it's still kind of lingering, but it is getting better, i think.

[praphit]

Strange 2: “Are you happy?”

(No Spoilers)

"Are you happy?"

There are plenty of things that could make one happy. Money can make one happy. There are people who say the contrary, but they're full of it.

Now, it might not KEEP one happy, but that’s a different convo.

You’re certainly prettier when you’ve got money. We'd all look as beautiful as the Kardashians, if we had the money - which brings up looks. Looks could make one happy.

There's this guy at a Dunkin Donuts near me, who is one of the dreamiest people you'll ever see. This ain't money, buying the looks, this is God. Kings of Kings! Lord of Lords! Creator of Stud Muffins!

Health, kids, your sports team winning, the list goes on... toys! :) For some it's not the money, exactly, but the toys that money can buy.

Are you happy with YOUR reality? Dr. Strange was asked this question. He replied "Yes." He was lying.

My man is powerful! 

No, y'all don't understand... like, there's NOTHING he can't do. You hear rappers talk about being "gods", that's nonsense. Strange is practically a god among humans. He's the coolest mofo wizard around! He's really the only cool wizard around isn't he?

Harry Potter? David Blaine?  - You may be fans, but are they sitting at the cool kids table? - probably not. Criss Angel (once upon a time)? 

- trying too hard.

Plus, he needs a fly ass cape like Strange to truly be cool.

Strange has got the resume as well.

And... he's a white man. How bout that??

But, none of that makes him happy. The only thing he wants in this reality is Rachel McAdams. 

I'm sure there are a lot of creepy, obsessed men who would say the same thing, but this is STRANGE! Makes you feel kinda sorry for him, right?

Especially since she just got married. Bummer. He doesn't have much time to think about this deep "happy or not?" stuff, or plot the demise of their marriage, cuz it's around this time when THE MULTIVERSE OF MADNESS begins! 

That's how it works though, right?? - Whether you're happy or not, shit keeps happening, so it's hard to slow down and think. And there's no time at all, cuz not only is there madness surrounding them, wherever they go, but there is an evil force chasing them through every reality. This evil force is pissed, insanely powerful, and has no patience for Dr. Strange's smart ass comments.

Strange's reality is falling a part, the super villain is on the scene, and maybe... JUST MAYBE, if he saves the day in front of Rachel McAdams, she'll look at her freshly acquired husband, and say "Bleep you, I'm in love with the wizard!"

Strange looked at the madness, and was like "Shit. I might die. I don't want to die alone though." So, he tries to form a team:

Wanda, who's an emotional wreck, and if I may say (sorry, not sorry), has been kind of a bitch, lately.

Wong, who loves being dragged into danger by the white man.

And some random teenager, named America Chavez. 

She has the power to travel between realities. She can also use these powers to kick some ass, MMA style.

We see all kinds of new worlds:

There's a cartoon world ( I really hope they do some tie-ins with the Spiderverse).

There's a world where everybody is paint. Hard to imagine, right? We're all trapped in a Monet painting.

There's a world where you can revisit any memory you'd like (certainly helpful for people like us, who rarely stop to remember and reflect).

In most of these worlds, you'll meet another you... that's pretty cool... unless your other you is a prick.

There's a world where Prof. X is still alive, 

and didn't die in that horrible X3 movie, and is now the head of a cult (Illuminati)... well, a different cult.

He's so old now. He looks confused, and scared, but he's still joining the battle. Have y'all ever had old family members, still trying to mow their lawn, IN THE HEAT. And you say to them "What are you doing?! You're old! STOP!" But, I guess this could be an advantage in battle; even another super ability - Pity. Who's going to attack an elderly man in a wheelchair? You'd have to be a real piece of shit. Unfortunately, for the professor, the evil in this flick is just that.

And this is the movie, people. I can't say much without spoiling anything. I'll have to do a spoiler post soon, cuz honestly, I've got a lot of smack to talk :) not against the movie, but against a character.

Strange is being chased through worlds / looking through worlds for something to help fight the evil that's chasing them, and to help put things right again. This movie is a wild orgy of CG. And there's no room in this orgy for story and development. Well, there are those two things, but they've already happened in other movies and shows. This is going to be a problem for some.

There are no recaps concerning Dr Strange and his powers, his motives, or his love interest (who married another man... Ass). Honestly, it's been so long, I thought that Rachel McAdams' character was dead. I had remembered Strange 1 incorrectly. There's an episode of "What If"  (which y'all should watch, if you haven't) where Rachel McAdams dies a lot, I guess I thought one of those times actually kept her dead. She shows up on screen, and I said "But, you dead! *gasp* ZOMBIE! Zombie McAdams!" But, no :)

Wanda's story is so complex. You'll have no chance of figuring out what's going on with her, unless you've been keeping up. There are some big reveals (unless people's illegal vids online haven't spoiled them for you... Asses) that won't be so big unless you're involved with other material. To someone coming in cold - it's just going to be wizards (who look the same) flying around, shooting special effects all over the place, to the music of Danny Elfman.

No, it's not a grounded movie, but Dr. Strange, himself, isn't even grounded. Can you blame him? He had to deal with Thanos; they're still feeling the impact of that. He had all of that Spider-Man bullshit. He just found out that the love of his life is marrying some other man (which AGAIN... Ass!). Seriously, he's Doctor mofo Strange! Who's that other dude she married? How's she not going to wait for him?! - he's been busy! SAVING YOUR LIFE, btw (and everyone else's!)... If I had something brewing with some awesome, heroic, super-powered being I'm waiting! I'd be like "Look, ladies, we can have our fun, but... there's only one for me." You couldn't do that, Rachel??! You couldn't do that for The Doctor?!

... Ass!!!

Where was I?? ...

Right, so he hasn't had much time to be grounded. You're going to have to accept that, going into this movie. It's not going to be as much drama as in recent comic book movies; like I said, it's an orgy. We ain't got time for deep convo. We all know why we're here - for some magic madness and some time flying through new worlds; and that's what you'll get.

It has some horror elements, some scary moments (small children, beware.), some blood, and tons of maddening magic, so... any conservative Christians out there who aren't too cool with all that wizardry shit, this ain't for you. You'll have to wait for the Christian version of Dr. Strange. I'm not sure what that would look like... but there's gotta be a reality where Strange is a born-again believer, and doesn't use magic... he's merely armed with a bible and a spray bottle of holy water. Spray the evil away:)

This ain't  A grade material (maybe it would have been if this were a cartoon or a comic), but... and I hate to say this, but it's true in this case - it is what it is - take it or leave it.

 Grade: B

So, are you happy?

Happiness is simply an emotion, right? And if there's anything that I've learned from watching movies is that our emotions can be manipulated.

I like to keep my pleasures simple. For example, ice cream makes me happy. Therefore, I've decided that I will eat ice cream, nonstop for the rest of my life. Happiness achieved. I hope it's that easy for y'all.

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