Tumgik
#and ghiaccio VERY much the same
squadrah · 1 year
Note
Originally I was trying to keep these all within the same price range, keep most gifts made around the same time, and give the same amount….it was hard so I gave up and had my OC just get whatever amused them. I also tried to keep them impersonal or things you’d just overhear someone at a bar just mention or could be implied to like. Also I believe they value different things from price, quantity etc so really it just got more and more personalized till I kinda forgot the whole thing. Also there were originally pictures with everything but tumblr doesn’t like that so please settle for my descriptions. Also sorry for poor spelling.(I’ll send you some of the pictures privately and you can post them with their sources if you so desire.)
Risotto: Risotto receives three small gifts wrapped in simple black paper with golden bows. The first is a surprisingly heavy rectangle box inside is a set of 4 stainless steel knives two of the knives possessos hollow insides for one another to rest in. One of the non hollow knives serves as the center for the two hollow ones, while the last knife merely serves the purpose of a more filling edge for the largest hollow blade.
The other two gifts appear to go together. One is a small booklet about felting for beginners with several patterns to begin with, the other gift is a set of small supposed felting tools and cutters along with a plethora of colorful felts snug together.
Formaggio: Formaggio's gifts almost gave away what lies within with how closely they’ve been wrapped in obnoxious orange paper. The first gift is a small bowl with odd looking groves around, once wine from Gelato is poured in it reveals the shape of a cat.
The second and oddest shaped gift reveals to be a white cat with brown paws holding two strays likely for holding random objects.
The last gift was a simple light pink pillow with the words ”Are you kitten me right meow?” 
Prosciutto: Prosciutto received a dark purple gift basket with only a red satin scarf hiding the contents inside. The most notable item was two 8 oz boxes Ospina estate coffee “premier grande cru”  a very well known and expensive brand. The other was a black cup with a white skull at the very bottom. 
Pesci: Instead of wrapping his were put into a reusable burlap sack with a minnow swimming towards a fishhook drawn on it. Inside sat a tea spender with a shark fin on top, next were two tuna cans one filled with blue tuna themed paper clips the other appreid to be some kind of emergency kit with bandages, a pencil, matchsticks, a fish hook, along with miscellaneous small items. Lastly, a crab shaped pocket tool.
Ghiaccio: Ghiaccios gift were simply put in a black duffle bag with blue writing reading “Hold on let me overthink this.” Leading to a sad bag getting kicked before being ripped open. On top of everything is a box of A. Morin Dark chocolate tasting box underneath sits three resistance bands, two sets of four weighted bangles one set of five bounds the other ten. Another small set of kettlebells weighing 15, 25, and 35 lastly, new white punching bag gloves with odd triangles poking out of where the knuckles sit. Later that night it is revealed there is a set of 3 workout dice hidden in one of the pockets.
Melone: Melones gifts were wrapped a purple robe inside the arms of a giant (6.5) pink teddy bear with a brown bowtie. Inside the blanket sat a book of how to mix tea along with 18 small tins of dried separated ingredients supposedly for said tea. Lastly three non alcoholic drinks (three spirit social elixir, three spirit liviner, and Acid league Proxies pastiche)
Illuso: illusos gift was placed in a flat dark blue box on top of which sat a random assortment of local restaurant vouchers. Inside the box sat a necklace with blue sapphires, red rubies and diamonds . (exact words from a sight describing said necklace because I can give no justice.: An Important Sapphire, Ruby and Diamond Fringe Necklace by Bulgari. Set to the front with fourteen oval-cut sapphires (100 carats total approx., Burmese unheated, Gubelin certified) and diamond clusters interspersed by cabochon rubies and diamond trefoils, suspending eleven similarly-set graduated tassels, to the circular-cut diamond and cabochon ruby necklace, mounted in 18kt yellow gold. Signed Bulgari, made in Italy, circa 1965.)
Sorbet: Sorbet's gift was in an assorted set of neutral tones paper with bright colored ribbons attached. The first gifts were a set of two black and white coffin planters with a small bag of soil attached. Next was a small wooden box with gold certified playing cards with possibly an American president on the backs of them. Lastly, was a flat cardboard containing 5 million lira.
Gelato: gelatos’ gifts were in a simple ice chest bursting with colorful wrapping paper peeking out of a very fancy bottle of Limoncello ( D’Amalfi Limoncello Supreme). Buried underneath where night shot glass with an X on half O on the other half, “Whiskey bullets' ', and a black flask with" I finally quit drinking for good. Now I drink for evil.” written. At the very bottom was a set of steel knuckles with each ring shaped like a card suite.
This was amazingly detailed and fascinating! Thank you, holy heck, you put so much effort into this and I loved it, and now I get to share with everybody! <3
2 notes · View notes
industriallyinsecure · 8 months
Note
Sorry for another "reader is awake at like 3 am request" but this one's a lil more wholesome xD what would each la squadra member be like if they found their s/o wrapped in blankets on the couch watching comfort movies late at night? Who's all for a sudden movie night date? Who's dragging the reader back to bed no matter what it takes?
Risotto plods down stairs in search of you (he woke up because his human teddy bear wasn’t there) and finds you curled up in blankets, watching one of your favorite movies very intently. So intently, in fact, you don’t even notice him approaching, though not many people would anyway. You yelp when he plops down next to you, pulling you into his arms. He dozes for most of the movie, only reacting if you get startled or start to laugh. Overall, he’s nice company to have, but don’t expect him to interact very much. He’s had a history of not sleeping well, and you’re essentially the only remedy. If you try to get him to talk, he just mumbles sleepily and gives you kisses.
Ghiaccio would drag you back to bed regardless of how tired (and blind) he is. He’s a firm believer in getting a healthy 8 hours, and you’d be hard pressed to convince him otherwise. And because he cares about you, he wants the same for you. He’s just really really bad at expressing it. Because it’s so late (early?) he won’t raise his voice but instead gives very threatening grumbles as he shuts the tv off and pulls you behind him. Doesn’t really want to fight you about it, and won’t feel bad for pulling you away.
Melone is probably awake already to tell the truth. He’s heading to the kitchen for a late night drink, but finds you curled up watching a movie. He’ll coo about it to himself before joining you, snuggling as close as possible to you. Offers to get you snacks and drinks, or even to find another movie to watch after you’re done. He thinks it’s very romantic that you two are night owls and can stay up together, even if you sleep the day away. As long as he’s with you, he doesn’t mind.
It depends how moody Proscuitto is at the moment. If he’s gotten enough rest, he doesn’t mind staying up, but still lightly frets over you and scolds you a bit. But he does remind you to rest and tries to not so subtly convince you to come back to bed once the movie is over. If he’s tired and grumpy, there’s no question about you being dragged back to bed. He doesn’t even say anything to you, just snatches the remote up and turns the tv off, ushering you back to his room. It’s under the guise of him wanting you to be healthy, but really it’s because he’s selfish and has gotten used to you sleeping in the same bed and gets a bit anxious if you aren’t with him.
Pesci would want you to go to bed for your health but gives in to you way too easily. He just loves you so much that he has a hard time saying no. Even if you decide to go back to bed, he’ll gently insist that you don’t have to just because he wants to. If you end up staying up, he might fall asleep cuddling with you, but that’s only if you aren’t engaging him in some way. Offers to get you things and dotes on you the whole time until you both inevitably fall asleep together on the couch.
Illuso would bitch at you for keeping him awake, but would sit down next to you and watch. In truth, he doesn’t mind staying awake to spend more time with you, but he’s be damned if he had to admit it. He would whine and cry about missing beauty sleep the entire time while making no moves to get up and go to bed. But if he decides he wants to sleep, you better be ready to put up a fight. He’s not above taking you into the mirror world.
Formaggio sleeps like the dead, so it’s difficult for him to wake up during the night if he’s already been sleeping. Usually when he finds you awake at night it’s because he was out clubbing, not that you minded of course. He can only stay up for so much longer until he passes out in your lap and starts to snore. Depending on how much his snoring bothers you, you can either shut off the movie and cuddle up with him, or suffer through it. Either way, he’s pretty content.
167 notes · View notes
gayboyasher · 3 months
Note
Can you please do la squadra reacting to the reader calling them “cute”? (;´༎ຶٹ༎ຶ`)
I just really need some fluff rn
FLUFF is the WAY!! I had to re-do this because my dumbass closed out the app and forgot to save, and I was just about to Melone 😭😔 anyway, I gave them things that they probably do that are cute. I’m sorry if you don’t agree with them
><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><
Tumblr media
Rissotto
Rissotto does this thing where when he’s concentrated, he furrows his brows and looks frustrated, but it’s so cute at the same time. He was doing this whole working, and you just had to tell him how cute he was!
At first, he seemed confused, cute?? Really?
He laughs softly, trying to think of something to say to that.
“Sole mio, I’m working.”
He doesn’t mean it in a mean way, but now he’s distracted from you pointing it out.
His focus turns to stopping his “quirk”, and then that gets him distracted.
Tumblr media
Prosciutto
Prosciutto taps his fingers. He taps them on any surface, or he’ll just tap his fingers against his thumb. He’ll especially do this while he’s taking a phone call. Once he gets off the phone you tell him about it.
He looks at you like your crazy. He thinks it’s crazy.
Prosciutto is very much a macho man. He believes that the word cute is something not to describe masculine things, especially him.
He sighs and shakes his head in disappointment, finger wag and all. He doesn’t even say anything.
He’s another one who tries to stop it, and boy was he not able to do it.
Someone needs to explain to this poor boy he doesn’t have to be embarrassed to be called cute
Tumblr media
Pesci
Pesci tends to hum. He’ll hum a tune that’s been stuck in his head and it’ll get stuck into your head. He’s also just cute doing absolutely nothing. He’s cute in general. Someone needs to say it.
Once you tell him that, he goes red. He doesn’t know how to take a compliment, so he’s just stuttering and stammering, trying to compliment you.
His ears are already hot and his mind is blank.
“You really mean it? You’re cuter!”
God, he’s completely flustered.
He doesn’t try to get rid of the habit, but still thinks about it
Tumblr media
Formaggio
Formaggio actually is also another cutie. He could sit there and be cute. But I see him acting all cute trying on clothes and flexing in them.
Once you tell him he’s cute he’s a little shocked, but not in any bad way.
He’s another macho man, but he’s not gonna be upset by being called cute!
He thinks of it as you hyping him up even more.
“Awh, you really think so? You must think I’m handsome too, huh? You’re pretty cute yourself.”
He just tries to embarrass you.
Tumblr media
Illuso
He uses his computer quite a bit, and he focuses hard. When ever he does, he sticks his tongue out just slightly and squints his eyes. It’s actually adorable if you think about it.
Knowing his online history, he was probably in the middle of cyber bullying while you said that.
He’s a little flustered, but he understands the hype, he is the finest one out of the team (in his opinion)
“You really think so? Even when I’m being so mean?”
Another teaser. He’s gonna be cocky.
He doesn’t try to get rid of the quirk either, but he stops squinting his eyes.
Tumblr media
Melone
ANOTHER one on his computer. You don’t even wanna know what’s on his computer, but his face looks so gentle and calm. He’s another one who can just sit there and be cute.
When you first initially call him cute, he doesn’t realize you’re even talking to him.
It takes him a second and once he notices, he smiles and looks up at you
His face gets a tad bit hot, and he wants to make you feel the same way.
“Miele, you really think so? I think you’re cuter.”
He teases, and he teases well.
He teases in a nice way. It’s actually cute
Tumblr media
Ghiaccio
When he’s concentrated, he bites his lip gently. It’s actually very cute, and it seems to be one of the only times he’s not angry.
He takes it like an insult at first
He’s not a macho man, but he thinks it was passive aggressive.
“What does that mean Amore?? Was that backhanded or something??”
You have to explain to him that you’re not trying to be mean
Another poor boy who can’t take compliments.
114 notes · View notes
popawritter12 · 10 days
Note
Hey heyy!! 🍊 anon here with another request!! Can you write yandere! Ghiaccio/Fugo (whoever you preffer!) with a very caring and clingy darling? Headcanon or fanfic whatever u feel like!!
Also hope youre doing alright!! Plz know that ur writing is delicious and god ur so underrated its INSANE like omg
Yandere! Fugo Headcanons for a caring and clingy darling
Tumblr media
Author's Notes: THIS IS THE FIRST TIME THAT'S SOMEONE ASKED ME FOR YANDERE THINGS FROM JOJOS <3<3<3
By the way 🍊Anon, Thanks for the support! I hope you enjoy this request <3
Chance of your loved ones being killed
Fugo is someone who, because of his life, had to go through something so important that it is marked both at the beginning and at the end of all of Golden Wild: his explosive personality.
He is capable of hurting people, both those he loves and those he wants dead, and you, his beloved, understood this very well, so much so that 90% of the time, your friends take refuge in you to avoid the toxic wrath of Fugo —Even if it meant facing their jealousy, they didn't end up hurt at that moment.
In front of you he wouldn't kill, but secretly he is capable. So I bet there's up to an 40% chance of that happening. More than anything because, due to your personality, he usually avoids causing deaths, solely to avoid causing you some type of sadness.
First impressions
You were a fairly young Passione member when Fugo joined the team, being just a year older than him. You weren't someone who was very demanding, in fact you became friends with Fugo quite easily. Unlike others, you expected nothing more than to be a great friend of his for the sole reason that you shared the same age, and you shared certain things with Fugo due to the fact that your childhood was not very different from his, being that the pressure itself of your parents caused you to become a delinquent, and although it was not the direct cause, it was obviously one of the most important factors for your decision to abandon your family.
But anyway; You were someone much more cheerful and social than Fugo, since you always greeted people wherever you went; He considered you a great friend, and the comfort and conversations he shared with you were such that he ended up considering you one of the most important people in his life.
Fall in love
You know it, I know it, we all know it.
He ended up falling in love, and that feeling in his heart only grew with the passing of the days, like a plant that stretched its leaves slowly, but it ensured one thing: A long and strong stem.
It was not surprising to others that due to the closeness between the two, sooner or later it would lead to something resembling love. But that's when the question arises, does he even know what all this was going to become?
Most likely not, and it wasn't entirely his fault, you know? Love is something human, and that pain that was carried in his heart was relieved solely and exclusively with your existence, with your love and your constant hugs, without those signs of affection, he would surely lose his mind.
First act or Yandere act
In a flash of anger, he attacks deliberately, so, when you paid attention to one of these attacks, you noticed that there was a subtle release in one of his screams.
Narancia was arguing with him over mathematical problems, as always, and before anyone could intervene, there was a rather interesting exchange.
“—How many more times do I have to explain it to you so you understand it?!! Fugo yelled, his hand jerking the plastic knife in his hand.
In case you're wondering; Yes, they prohibited him from using metal utensils when studying because of those 'special teachings'.
—I already told you I don't understand it!
—You're so damn useless!
The sound of shoes hitting the carpet was barely audible,
—And why's my fault that you don't know how to teach?! —Narancia attacked.
The discussion slowly escalated in severity, and Bucciarati walked calmly down the hallway outside the room where the aforementioned discussion took place, and Abaccio was next to him.
—Do you want to know something?! Your classes became boring! I'm sure it's because of your desire to fuck (Name)! —Narancia shouted, —, and if you're so upset it's because you can't fuck them, so just ask them before becoming a bitter old man!.
Narancia was going to continue attacking him, but he just received a stab against the skin of his right cheek.
In the midst of his cry of despair, his open eye met Fugo's gaze. That look, that look in his greenish eyes were filled with such inner darkness that it caused a direct chill down Narancia's back, no, his spine, and the fear was of such magnitude that it permeated his bones and clung to him. to his soul like he had never seen before.
—You're not going to be talking about (Name) like that.
A dead whisper, accompanied by a look that seemed to emanate darkness, as if death itself were locked inside that eye, as if that trapped death had a deep desire to end Narancia's life at that precise moment.
—You don't even deserve to mention their name or enjoy their hugs—Fugo's tongue seemed to have transformed into a whip at that moment—, you don't even deserve to smell the scent of their hair!
The plastic blade was withdrawn, but before he could continue attacking, Buciarati pushed him, smashing his body against the nearest wall. And at the moment that the blonde's body and weapon brutally moved away from Narancia, he alone fell to the ground, his legs trembling and his breathing irregular, his heart beating violently against his chest.
And in that moment, only in that moment, Fugo's gaze never left Narancia's eyes, and the tension he exerted against Buciarati's grip was such that even the adult tried not to be reduced, exerting more force than he normally would needed to subdue him.
Narancia still remembers that dead look to this day.”
Or at least that's how Abacio told you while they were drinking tea, accompanied by a snort and a “don't trust Fugo too much” from him.
Beginning of Yanderism
After that event, Buciarati spent hours trying to talk to Fugo, but he seemed gone, so much so that, when he let him rest, he suspected that an enemy stand had attacked him. The possibility existed, but unfortunately for them, that was not the event of today, nor of the course of these days.
Abaccio spoke with you separately, trying to decipher the reason for the blonde's actions, but when he found no information from you, he ended up telling what happened that day, with some details that, although for you they were exaggerated, the serious look accompanied by Abaccio's personality, they made you understand that it was no exaggeration.
Maybe you should hesitate to continue with him?
Relationship or kidnapping
After a couple of months, he gets up the courage and tells you his feelings. You, naturally, accepted, hoping to make a great couple with someone you loved as much as Fugo.
The first few months were good, or at least until Giorno arrived.
Meanwhile, in the relationship, whenever you were giving him a couple of cuddles, there would be a moment where he would mention the doubts he had about Giorno. And although they debated the blonde, he was not someone who would affect their relationship.
Or at least until the events of Golden Wild, where he starts to be very cautious around you.
Coexistence
Fugo took the mission of having the treasure guarded by Buciarati very seriously, and when they met Trish, things didn't change much.
You got along very well with her, since you both shared many tastes, and although she seemed surprised to see you both together, she always supported the couple that the two of you made.
In the short time they were on the mission to return Trish to her father, Fugo seemed uneasy, especially with being alone with you.
It was mostly because he certainly became addicted to the constant pampering you gave him, and he hated the idea of anyone else seeing the two of you, and no, it wasn't because he was embarrassed to be with you in public —In fact, it was one of the things that mattered least to him—it was mostly the fact that, well, let's just say that he HATES that they want to receive more affection or attention than him.
When he and you were together, it was a special moment, and no one could stop both of you from having their special moment.
Marriage and family
I don't see him as interested in marriage, but if he can, he would love to have a small wedding ceremony with you.
And, as for your family, he would take good with them —Although you should pay attention to whether they are TOO jealous of you or if you are too clingy with them—.
If possible, children?
Of course,
I see how he would give his best to be a father, reading not thousands, MILLIONS of books to be a good father, and especially to take care of his loved one during difficult times of parenting or, if biology allows it, pregnancy
Bad ending
(MY FAVORITE PART OF THIS HEADCANON JUJUJU)
After Trish's mission, the entire team finds themselves with an almost impossible to solve dilemma; betrayal or not. For most of the group it was pretty easy, but for Fugo and you it was… too complex.
Fugo held your hand at all times, in his words were the reasons why you should go with him, insisting that, even if there was a chance of success, it was impossible to face the root of the problem, the person who was behind some of them. the most dangerous groups of people throughout Italy, and throughout the world. However, your idea of continuing was as firm as a metal bar clinging to the ground during a storm. He yelled at you that if you left with them, if you dared to even think about abandoning all the future there was for everyone in the group, then you would also abandon your life with him. But, even with all his words, even with tears in your eyes, you refused to abandon them.
Even with the pain and weight that was in your soul, you refused to abandon your best friends, your family, the people who accepted you from the minute you decided to enter this horrendous and dark mafia.
He felt lost, abandoned, unhappy… It was like his parents abandoning him again, but now worse. As if now, he had lost everything he knew he needed to be alive. And even if during the first hours he convinced himself that everything was fine, that you were going to return safely, that you were not going to throw your life down the drain, and that you were going to fill him with affection and love, but in his Soul, he knew it wasn't real.
As the days went by, he felt like an alcoholic in withdrawal, and he tried to avoid it, but his soul needed it, he needed it right there, right now.
And he decides to do it, he decides to make a decision that would completely change his life.
Near you in Rome, following each and every one of they steps, he finds himself seeing what he feared most; your wounds dry cuts on your skin, bandages on your abdomen or legs, or even a wound on your face, your delicate and soft face which he loved to take in his hands and fill with kisses was… damaged, and he found a direct culprit, or rather, guilty.
The anger in his veins and in his mind was such that he knew what his next move would be.
And no, it wasn't what you thought.
(This is where possibly everyone develops a hatred towards me that I perfectly I can accept it because even for me what I am going to put is a lot)
It took a lot for him to find you alone, to manage to corner you after a fight and knock you unconscious. All that pain, all that pressure that terrified his soul went out like a fire that was poured on him with a bucket of water for the simple act of hugging you. And in that moment, he knew he was doing the right thing.
It took him a bit to dispel suspicion of where you were, but he managed to cover a lot of your tracks. But he knew that Abaccio could find them, so he had to take you to a dusty apartment away from the others, with the sole objective of making sure they could never find you.
And, after so much worry, he managed to lose all trace of them, managing to take you to a house that his parents very lovingly lent him in a place curiously far from Italy and the whole world. Can you believe that they are so affectionate with their son?!
By the way, does anyone know where they are? At the airport, desperate to leave? How strange huh…
Reasons to become Yandere
-He is used to not receiving affection, and let's say that your affectionate, clingy, cuddly personality… affected his psyche much more than he could ever imagine.
-He was already abandoned once, do you think he would take a second abandonment so easily? Nuh-uh
-You are usually very understanding with him, being that you loved seeing how savage he looked when he unloaded on you, wanting to receive pampering after complaining about his daily problems.
Extra data:
-Surprise! He figured out how to manipulate his parents so he could get a “little deal.”
-Although in the canon he even has appreciation for Narancia, in this story he is capable of developing hatred for him, even wishing for his death.
-Let's say that he can make a deal with the boss solely to ensure that Giorno and company do not interfere in their relationship.
-After the bad ending, he accepts at the beginning that he should not receive pampering from you, but his abstinence will not last long, and even less so with how addicted he has become now.
-Unlike other Yanderes, where there may be some regret, in this character no, there is no regret for his actions, and he would not hesitate to take measures up to 5 times more drastic as long as no one screws up their relationship.
24 notes · View notes
Text
So the music that plays when Mista's thinking about Giorno is called 'peace' huh? Interesting when you take the next thing in consideration.
As we can see in the fight with Sale, Mista didn't feel entirely safe during missions. He wanted to wait for Giorno before going for the enemy because he wasn't sure about going by himself. And this could be because his Stand is less likely to help him make it out alive from danger. Sex Pistols isn't a bad Stand, sure, but it's the weakest when compared to the rest of the group.
Aerosmith can also shoot, but it has unlimited bullets and bombs, therefore it doesn't need time to recharge. And besides their powers, Purple Haze and Sticky Fingers have humanoid forms, so they're physically able to fight. Same goes for Moody Blues, even if it's not entirely made for combat. This isn't the case for Sex Pistols. They can't even move or lift things that are bigger than themselves, as seen in The Grateful Dead with Bruno's unzipped body parts. They can when they do it together, as we see when they steal the burger, but more Pistols making a physical effort means less Pistols shooting. And although Mista could successfully shoot the enemy by himself, meanwhile the Pistols can't protect him from other attacks. They can't block hits from short-ranged enemy Stands, and even if they teamed up to fight it they could do very little against it (since their only power is controlling bullets).
What's more, multiple teammates were sent for almost every mission (except for Narancia, since he can use his radar to detect and deal with more enemies by himself). But not Mista, he went to all or the majority of his missions alone, like in Rolling Stone or The Grateful Dead. He was alone in the last one because the others were unable to fight and Bucciarati stayed to protect Trish, and Mista would've straight up died in that fight if it wasn't for Nº 5. Mista is smart, he can think of ways to survive, but if a similar situation turned out to be more complicated he probably wouldn't make it out alive. Mista could easily die if he went alone. And in fact, at crucial moments during many missions, Mista was still alone.
At least until Giorno arrived.
As it was earlier said, during their first mission Mista felt safer with Giorno by his side. Even if they didn't defeat Sale together Mista definitely felt more confident. But even so, later during the White Album fight he faced yet another near-death situation. May I say way too near, since the Pistols were already starting to fade out and Mista straight up considered himself dead, stating that he was going to take Ghiaccio with him. But just when death was knocking on his door, Giorno managed to arrive in time to save him and finish Ghiaccio.
And maybe that's why Mista trusted him so much, more than Bucciarati himself. He trusts Giorno more than his own capo because it was thanks to Giorno that he could make it out alive. It was Giorno who teamed up with him and gave him protection against the thing that worried him so much: not being able to survive his missions.
And so he can finally be at 'peace', knowing that Giorno will be there for him.
43 notes · View notes
razumairon · 5 months
Text
La Squadra Esecuzioni playing Dungeons & Dragons, a meme
(English translation under the pictures)
As previously stated, this is NOT an headcanon. It's just... a mixture of a meme and a tag yourself. So please, don't come at each other's throat or something equally awful, thank you🫶🏻
Tumblr media
- Forever DM
- Mostly because he hates the party doing anything except for what he wants them to do
- He also hates DMing because the party always takes the only path he didn't plan and takes two sessions to buy a dagger at the smith, but no one ever wants to DM so he has to do it
- Or, worse, have Prosciutto as DM
- His DCs are 56 high or more when he doesn't want the party to take certain routes
- Spoiler, it happens almost all the time
- He sometimes let Prosciutto DM
- He DMs canon campaigns because he doesn't want to take the effort to make up his own setting
- Sometimes he DMs original one shots
- Melone made him hate the bard
Tumblr media
- Rule lawyer
- He knows even the Monster Manual by heart
- He intervenes to correct both the DM and the players about rules but nobody asked him to most of the times
- He is hated for that
- Very focused on builds, he lets them to lead him in his choice for the character options
- He tried all the classes and knows them all by heart
- No one wants him as DM because he doesn't allow anything that isn't explicitly written in the rules
- And also because he allows mutilations on the PCs when they make a critical fail in combat or the enemies strike a critical hit
- Sadly Risotto is sometimes too energy drained to DM so players have to deal with him as DM
- He DMs canon campaigns ONLY
- However he has interesting ideas for his characters
- A pity his roleplay is shit because he never changes expression or voice tone
- He bullies people who use D&DBeyond
Tumblr media
- He constantly forget the rules
- He always makes his character's backstory shared with Prosciutto's character one
- Sometimes Prosciutto doesn't want to be paired with him so he has to find someone else
- He never played a character with an independent background
- He owns 57 pencils, 49 rubbers, 35 miniatures, 26 dice sets and always offers to print other people's character sheets
- Of course he's always willing to lend his stuff
- He's the eternal exploited one because Formaggio sponges even his chair
- He's secretly a dice hoarder but he'd never admit that
- He actually doesn't like playing D&D that much but he enjoys the company
- His characters all have social anxiety
- And they're all discriminated races
- Caster main
- He's terribly unlucky with dice rolls
- He once rolled a double 1 with Advantage
Tumblr media
- Powerplayer, metaplayer and every worst kind of -player
- Cheater
- He always gets caught cheating and his character usually dies horribly... if Prosciutto is the DM. Otherwise, Risotto thanks him for passing that ability check that twelve people were able to fail
- However, he always pays attention to the session and takes notes... that he never shares
- He either plays a wizard to mock other characters' low intelligence or he plays a fighter to mock their low strength and prowess in battle, No in between
- He endlessly recycles the same characters
- His character is always rival with Formaggio's one for some reason
- He fights with Formaggio to play the fighter
- Despite everything he has the best strategies
- He cares little for roleplay, he's more into builds
- His characteristic points are never lower than 15
Tumblr media
- Constantly late for session
- He never has what is needed for the session and "borrows" anything from Pesci
- He stole half of La Squadra's dice sets and lost every single one of them
- He and Ghiaccio fought really hard because of that
- And in fact now the only one lending him anything is Pesci
- He uses the smartphone during session
- He never took notes and never remembers shit
- "Wasn't this asshole the miniboss?" (they defeated the boss 8 sessions earlier)
- He is a terrible tactician but he comes up with crazy plans that somehow work in the end
- Extremely lucky with dice rolls
- His characters' names come from the IKEA catalogue but he regularly forgets them
- Pesci doesn't know the rules but Formaggio doesn't even know which game they're playing
- Fighter main
- The story is slow to proceed because of him doing offgame jokes all the time
- He brings amazing snacks though, he even cooks when he feels like it
Tumblr media
- Bard main
- His PC is an excuse to flirt with friends
- Where Prosciutto played every class, he played every race
- Everybody hates the bard because of him
- He prefers roleplay to builds
- And, in fact, his PCs are all weaklings because he chooses builds because "it seemed cool by name and concept" but never actually read what they do or how they work
- His character is always the first one to run out of HP in combat
- Mostly because he's been able to make the DM hate his character during the campaign
- He's the only one encouraging Formaggio's crazy plans
- All his dice sets are glittered
- He never used the canon character sheets, only fanon redesigns
- He decorates them with markers when he's bored during session
- He's the one who is most into the campaign
- He draws other players' characters and funny scenes from the campaign
Tumblr media
- Barbarian main
- He fucked up some campaigns because he charged the NPCs that glared at him
- He shares his notes only with Melone
- He goes nuts if something disturbs the session like the ringtone of the phone or a door slamming violently
- He sometimes encourages Formaggio's crazy plans
- He hates the stereotype of the stupid barbarian and tried hard to avoid that in his characters
- He never played a caster because he can't choose among so many spells
- He bullies the ranger because he thinks it's too situational
- He makes good builds
- The fact that Melone is totally unable to make decent builds drives him nuts
- But he can't resist helping Melone's character when they get in trouble
- Trouble that was caused by Melone's character themselves, by the way
- He always plays the same alignment
- He fights with Illuso's fighter because the both want to do the tank
- He played the paladin once but he became an Oathbreaker at level 1 because he cursed his own deity
44 notes · View notes
lasquadrayandere · 11 months
Text
Tumblr media
Poly With Pesci
Formaggio, Prosciutto, Illuso, Ghiaccio
— Exploring the different dynamics and relationships of Pesci sharing a darling with some members of La Squadra Esecuzione!
C|TW: abuse,
Tumblr media
FORMAGGIO & PESCI
Is the breath of fresh air you need! Formaggio can be so cruel and leave you feeling empty when he’s in his mood, it’s thanks to Pesci you aren’t losing your mind. The two of them have very different methods when it comes to punishments and when it should be done. Pesci isn’t a fan of the extreme shit Formaggio wants to do. Never in a million years would Pesci be okay with him trying to cut you for being a smart ass. Luckily for you, Pesci is always able to convince him to take it down several notches and see the beauty in a basic punishment. Some time alone would do everyone some good.
There’ll never be a time when Formaggio could get Pesci to be brutal. This annoyed the fuck out of Formaggio cause he thought Pesci wanted to baby you, and let you be awful and go unpunished. It wasn’t until Pesci trashed your gifts and locked you in your room that he changed his mind. You even apologized to Pesci for being a pill after finally being let out. So Formaggio keeps his gory punishments to himself until you do something wild like I don’t know, trying to give him surgery with a crowbar.
Given the fact that Pesci is much sweeter in comparison to Formaggio, it’s no surprise that you warm up to him faster. He’s soft, kind, and approachable. Yet, there’s no jealousy or petty rivalry. Formaggio could care less about that. You’re still accessible to him! Pesci never stopped him from being around you for the sake of your feelings. You’re still getting quality time with Formaggio and being dragged out to dates. It’s only a matter of time before you wind up loving him all the same.
The both of them, while their interests are different, get along well! They have a high chance of being romantically involved with each other since Formaggio doesn’t talk down on him. He enjoys Pesci’s company and finds his shyness hilarious. Even at the height of his anger and frustration, he wouldn’t see Pesci as disposable. He loves him as much as he loves you. The only difference is that he won’t force Pesci to love him.
He’ll playfully tease Pesci just to see him all flustered and messy. It’s hard not to since he makes it so easy. But what he loves most is Pesci being assertive. Not only does it make him happy to hear him speak up for himself, but it also sends chills through his body when Pesci has a sense of authority in his voice. So of course he’ll suggest a quickie or something. It can be whatever Pesci wants, a fling, or the start of a relationship. Either way, he wants a piece of Pesci!
Since there’s no power dynamic between them it's a lot easier to be vulnerable and show his love for Pesci. He doesn’t care to make it obvious that he’s got a little crush on him and is actively trying to have a romantic relationship. This is why Formaggio and Prosciutto start to bump heads a little more because he’s not a fan of their toxic relationship. He doesn’t want his big ol’ baby to change, or feel like he has to be this stereotypical “tough guy”! Besides, they both can’t be fucked up in this poly relationship.
Tumblr media
PROSCIUTTO & PESCI
Prosciutto is going to have to learn a thing or two about separating his work and home life. Pesci is not being bitched off the clock or taking lessons on how to be a tough man. He’s not having it, and he damn sure ain’t being treated like a third wheel in the relationship. Prosciutto was thrown off guard when Pesci stood his ground and refused to just go along with Prosciutto’s plan. He couldn’t have been more proud of Pesci! Although he’s a little disappointed he can’t run the poly how he sees fit.
Prosciutto was planning to have you be a homemaker but it’s kind of hard when Pesci loves doing the domestic things like cleaning, cooking, and laundry together. Always letting you know that you’re more than a house spouse and that you shouldn’t worry about doing those things alone. He also expects Prosciutto to cook a meal or two sometimes. You’re not being treated like a housekeeper or personal chef. He could care less about Prosciutto’s traditional views.
The minute Prosciutto gets to raising his hand, he needs to prepare himself to fight Pesci. Given that Prosciutto doesn’t care to hit you for rotten attitudes and petty displays of rebellion, Pesci butts heads with him a lot. He refuses to stop and Pesci refuses to bring you back unless something changes. They can’t be constantly bickering or brawling if they plan to share you. That’s why Pesci bitterly agrees to punishments like spankings, smacks to the mouth, etc. At least it’s nothing hardcore like the whipping, starvation, unsanitary bondage, etc. Either way, Pesci is always there to comfort you regardless of how Prosciutto feels.
Prosciutto and Pesci have the possibility of having a romantic relationship. It depends on Prosciutto. He can’t be treating Pesci like a pupil or errand boy outside of work. That’s just no way to live. He doesn’t want to come home to some bull about him not being tough enough for you or needing to stop being emotional. He wants to be himself and not “Prosciutto’s junior”. Thankfully Pros isn’t completely heartless and has a bit of care for him. He stops being hard on him and learns to see Pesci as his equal during the relationship. In the end, it’s thanks to Pecsi’s softness that the relationship is still manageable.
So if he wasn’t going too hard on Pesci at the start of the poly, Pesci might feel comfortable enough to give it a shot. Other than that, he’s more than comfortable sending you to Prosciutto now and then. Sharing you from a distance.
Tumblr media
ILLUSO & PESCI
Bye, how did this even start? Pesci can’t stand this guy and is questioning the worth of just keeping you for himself. If it wasn’t for the fact that Man In The Mirror makes it hard to escape Illuso, he’d have left him in the dust by now. Pesci hates him. The constant nonsense about the way you’re being a bitch, good for nothing, blah, blah, blah. He never shuts up! Constantly moaning about not getting your love and devotion but being harsh and unreasonable about your situation. He’s a mess!
Once Pesci realized that Illuso is such a softie on the inside that yearns for love and attention he thought it’d become easier. He flaunted your willingness to spend time with him and bond whenever Illuso was around. It wasn’t to be mean, but to prove that if Illuso chilled out and stopped with the insults and demeaning treatment he could get some love too. Yet that only made Illuso double down. He’s quick to get defensive and down right abusive if he feels left out or like he’s being upstaged, by Pesci nonetheless. So it only leads to more battles and another traumatic experience for darling once you’re back in Illuso’s home.
They can’t agree on anything, no matter how nicely Pesci puts it. He even tried kissing up to Illuso to come to an understanding on how you’d be treated as their darling but it’s pointless! Once you’re with Illuso nothing Pesci said matters. He’s going to be harsh if he thinks you deserve it. Why should he let Pesci decide how he treats his darling, it’s not like he’s going to be at his house. Though he can be. Because once Pesci realizes him and Illuso will never see eye to eye, he’d go and get you himself. Whenever he believed you were scared or being abused by Illuso he was there within the hour.
It’s only a matter of time before Prosciutto, Risotto, or Sorbet are breaking up a bloody fight. Neither one of them can learn to respect each other or their views so they do be exchanging blows over it. Funny enough, it’s not until after they’ve fought that Illuso considers hearing him out. Maybe it’s because Pesci was a formidable opponent or that Risotto threatened to get rid of you if they couldn’t figure it out. Whatever it is, Illuso begrudgingly considers the things Pesci has been saying to him and tries to be a less abusive, sadistic lover.
There’s no way in hell they’re going to fall in love, let alone share a house. It’s already hard for the two of them to be around each other for more than three hours. A lifetime together is pushing it. The closest they’d get is Illuso allowing Pesci to sleepover at his house if he happens to stop by during a heavy rain or something. That’s it.
Tumblr media
GHIACCIO & PESCI
Ghiaccio is usually annoyed with this man but after giving it some thought, he decided Pesci wasn’t the worst person to share a lover with. Pesci has the softness that would do them both some good if he planned to keep you happy and content. Hell, just by being around Pesci, Ghiaccio seems more approachable. It’d be beneficial for both of them.
His words are blunt and his voice can be rough but that’s just how Ghiaccio is. He doesn’t go out of his way to offend Pesci or make him feel awful. He’s polite and cordial for the sake of the relationship. You won’t witness him humiliating Pesci or complaining about his “weakness”. If anything he’s mentally noting all the times Pesci was able to gain your attention or favor.
Pesci was pleasantly surprised to learn that Ghiaccio wasn’t big on physical punishments. I mean he witnessed him get violent over wordplay, so of course he thought Ghiaccio would hit you for being difficult. He’s smart enough not to mention that to Ghiaccio seeing that he doesn’t want to be depicted as an unhinged brute around you. So he’s off to the side fawning over how cute and mushy Ghia gets around you.
He never knew Ghiaccio, of all people, could be so damn sweet and romantic. It was hard not to fall for him! Yet Ghia hasn’t thought of Pesci in that way. He assumed he was too frightened by him to develop romantic feelings. All the times Pesci would blush around him didn’t mean much since he’s always kind of a mess. Then there’s the fact that Ghiaccio thought Pesci was fuckin’ Prosciutto on the side. So there’s no romance between them.
Their relationship will continue to be strong and respectful though. Ghiaccio won’t be weird about Pesci’s confession or suddenly become annoyed, he’s just surprised he didn’t notice Pesci falling for him.
Tumblr media
54 notes · View notes
dolce-tenebra-toscana · 8 months
Note
Allora amo, parliamo di cazzi.
Chi ha il ding dong più grosso tra tutta la squadra?
( IGNORA TUTTE LE CHAT SU INSTAGRAM QUELLE NON CONTANO)
Ora posso rispondere 👀
E questa è la pura verità, non accetto obbiezioni 👀👀👀👀🤣🤣🤣
Kinda nswf post, MINORS STAY AWAY!!!
LA SQUADRA'S " SAUSAGES " from the biggest to the smallest 🌭👀🌭
1) Ghiaccio ❄️ ( in my mind he is the one with the best body in the group, he may be short but DAMN BRO YOU RIPPED. And he is also VERY well equipped down there, his partner sure is a lucky one 👀👀)
2) Risotto ✂️: have you seen him? Do i really need to say more???! The only downside is that he is pierced sooooo not everyone is into it....But let's be honest almost no one complains🤣
3) Prosciutto 🍖 and Formaggio 🧀: these two are in competition even in this field. They always argue like " SONO PIÙ GROSSO IO DI UN CENTIMETRO ", especially if ladies are involved but they are the same ( and they equally get lucky so i don't understand why they whine so much lol )
4) Melone 🍈: average, and he knows it but this never bothered him. He knows his skills compensate the size and his notoriety as a VERY selfless lover makes his partner forget about his " lil " friend 🤣
5) Pesci 🐟: The fact that he isn't the last one, FOR ONCE, actually makes him lift his chin ( does he have an actual chin? I don't know..?) high and proud. Not the most experienced as well ( his looks are the main cause ) but still, not last place ✌️
6) Illuso 🔍: now you know why he is always so b*tchy lmao. His big ego, narcissistic personality and bad attitude in general is all caused by his " itsy bitsy spider " 🤣🤣🤣 and unlike melone, his skills don't even compensate 😅
Please take this post as the big meme that it actually is 🤣🤣 no hard feelings pls 👉👈
23 notes · View notes
princelylove · 23 days
Note
Your Highness,
I hope you’re well! This has been festering in my mind for a week so may I ask what you think of both Bruno and Prosciutto having an interest in the same darling? I know this might be a very deadly combination but that’s a sacrifice I’m willing to take.
-peachy anon
Oh, sweetheart. You have no idea. I don’t think you’d last more than a week or so with these two. 
They don’t get along in general- Prosciutto has little to no empathy, and has left men behind countless times. Bruno’s very loving. He’s slow to make decisions because he needs to figure out the best option for everyone- Prosciutto makes judgements quickly and based on gut feelings.  
Prosciutto has a lot of internalized sexism, but they differ from Bruno’s because, you know, Prosciutto is not a kind man. I think Bruno’s sexism is more “This is what a man must do for people” and Prosciutto’s is more gender-conforming. If you gender swapped them, Bruno would still want to be the provider of the house, while Prosciutto would expect you to give her your wallet for every little thing she wants (which is a lot, she’s happiest as a spoiled girl- sorry, miss pro, I mean as a spoiled lady). 
Listen. Would you rather spend your free time with Bruno’s family, doing an outdoor activity of some sort, or sit next to Prosciutto and watch him lose ‘family’ game night for the sixth week in a row? (He’s not a good gambler.)
Prosciutto acts like he already owns you, he’ll drape his arm around your shoulders and have the audacity to ask what you think you’re doing when you try to pull away. Bruno’s not much better, but he’d like to think you have a choice in the matter. Sure, he guides your hands when you’re actually the expert, but he means very well. As long as you stay close by, within arms reach. You actually can walk away from Prosciutto, but not Bruno. Go ahead, go get a drink or go to the bathroom, you’ll be back. While Bruno would search for you after five minutes of not knowing where you are, Prosciutto waits in the same spot, tapping his fingers until you come back with a good reason.
Prosciutto may take care of the others, but he loves you. He’s fond of Pesci and Ghiaccio, sure, used to be fond of Sorbet & Gelato too, but he loves you. He’d choose you over them and probably would force you to live in his old apartment over Risotto’s if he had the proper choice- not like he chooses to stay in that god forsaken apartment with five other men. If there’s an issue, he’d drop them for you in a heartbeat.
Bruno views you as part of his family, and will make no such choice. If his family doesn’t like you, or vice versa, give it time. He’ll find some way to settle it. He won’t stand for either of his sons bullying you, but you’re going to get along eventually and behave. 
But Bruno and Prosciutto don’t need to like each other. In fact, they never will. Prosciutto’s too rough with you, it’s like he doesn’t know what marriage is for! Bruno’s too much of a hardass to enjoy a little fun. They fight the most about how Prosciutto hits his darling, and how Bruno treats you too delicately. 
Gender swapped Bruno and Prosciutto are soooo funny at the same time. Pro’s pretty catty. They have similar fashion sense- mature, feminine, allergic to pants, lots of cleavage, love luxury heels… Have fun with a wallet if you date fem pro. Bruno loves tights, Prosciutto hates them. Bruno would never ask you to buy her anything, she’s still the provider, but Prosciutto? She’ll hit you for asking her to pay for dinner. 
Fem Bruno would baby trap you. Prosciutto? Fuck you, you’re not ruining her figure for some family bullshit. Take care of those little shits in her apartment if you want a baby so badly. 
What a bad combination. Their lifestyles look similar, but they’re just nowhere close.
15 notes · View notes
narancias-headband · 2 years
Text
Why is La Squadra calling you at 3 a.m.?
I feel like they're all usually awake at night, so them calling at weird times isn't unusual...
Risotto
Calls from him are usually important, but not necessarily urgent. Modifications to missions, new info on targets, some question he remembered he was going to ask you.
He actually meant to call at a more reasonable time, but his internal clock is so screwed up.
"Risotto, it's 3 a.m. What do you need?" Oh, is it really so early? My apologies. I can call back if you'd like. "No, I'm awake now. What's going on?"
Prosciutto
He's out running errands. He ran out of cigarettes, so he had to go to the store to grab more.
He wants to know if you need anything.
"Prosciutto, it's 3 a.m. What do you need?" I'm at the convenience store, do you want anything? "You're what?" I'm at- I'll just grab you that one drink you like.
Pesci
He really doesn't want to call you so late. He knows you're asleep and feels bad for waking you up.
If Pesci calls at an unreasonable hour it's either very important, or someone else made him make their call.
"Pesci? It's 3 in the morning... What do you need so early?" I'm so sorry, [Y/N], but Prosciutto and I are out on a hit right now, and he told me to call you to remind you about that one thing...
Formaggio
He just got home from the bar. He's super drunk and obnoxious.
He was supposed to call someone when he made it home... Who was he supposed to call?
I made it home. "Okay? I'm glad... But it's 3 in the morning." I just got home. "Mmhmm. Are you sure I'm who you meant to call?" I just don't want you to worry about me, because I just made it back to my place. "Okay, Formaggio."
He will call back a few different times and say the same thing. Maybe you should just put your phone on silent and deal with the voice mails in the morning.
Illuso
He's just calling to fuck with you. That's it.
He probably won't even say anything when you answer.
Regardless of if you answer or don't, he'll keep calling.
"Illuso! If you call me one more time in the middle of the night, I swear-" Okay, okay. I'll stop. Have a good night, sleeping beauty.
If you look extra tired the next day he will actually feel really bad for waking you. Doesn't mean he won't do it again, though.
Melone
He intends to stay up for the remainder of the night. He's busy with research and has chosen to pull an all nighter. Again.
He just wants someone to talk to.
Are you busy right now? "Melone, it's 3 a.m." Okay, but are you busy? "Yes. I'm busy sleeping."
If you agree to stay up with him, he'll bombard you with all the information he's been finding. It's either mission logistics that make no sense to anyone not on the mission, or science/anatomical discoveries that use terminology that goes right over your head.
Ghiaccio
He's out on a mission and wants to complain to you about it.
Ironically, he's probably going to complain about having to be awake at this time of day.
And another thing- "Ghiaccio! It's 3 in the morning!" Exactly! Why the fuck am I out on a mission right now?! I should be sleeping. "You and me both..." I just don't get why-
Listen to his ranting or don't, you'll get to say about as much either way. It'll be a long time before he notices if you choose to just flat out hang up on him.
368 notes · View notes
sorbet-and-gelato · 1 year
Text
another headcanon post. i thought i'd put down my thoughts about what la squadra are like with kids, i like making headcanons about that sort of small thing.
headcanons under cut.
Gelato Gelato thinks kids are a delight, and is always happy to interact with them. He's very good at keeping them entertained and knows how to behave around them. He'd like to raise a child with Sorbet, but he worries about messing it up and letting them be raised by a man like himself who kills for the mafia.
Sorbet Although less cheerful than his husband, Sorbet is incredibly patient with kids and aware of their emotions. He tends to keep them at an arm's length but won't ignore them if they really need his help. He harbours the same doubts as Gelato about raising a child of their own.
Risotto Risotto is patient and gentle with kids. He has a bit of a soft spot for them. He tends to try to make himself less imposing when interacting with children to avoid frightening them, and will let them touch his hat. He looks out for them where he can, and overall is very kind to them despite his grim looks.
Formaggio Formaggio thinks kids are great, he's reminded of himself when he young and hadn't yet gone down the dark path that led him to Passione. He'll happily entertain them, and does his best to rein himself in (though a swear or a dark joke might slip out if he's under pressure).
Illuso Illuso is indifferent to kids. He won't go out of his way to be rude to them, but they can get on his nerves if they're persistent. He doesn't mind interacting with them if it's on his own terms, and can be pretty good at looking out for them. However, he will encourage bad behaviour if he thinks it's fair. He's not a great role model.
Prosciutto Prosciutto has difficulty understanding kids. He had to grow up too fast in a household that treated him coldly, so he has trouble relating them back to his own experiences. He doesn't hate them nor want to make them upset, but can be a bit cold and doesn't hold much affection for them.
Pesci Pesci is great with kids and enjoys interacting with them. Similarly to Formaggio, he's reminded of what it was like to be a kid before his life took a dark turn. He likes playing with them and is very intuitive and understanding if they're upset. He helps Prosciutto understand them better.
Melone Melone will be nice to kids when the situation calls for it. He actually has more respect for them than he does for most adults, feeling that they're more accepting and good by nature. He doesn't talk down to them and will teach them what he can if he feels the need. Though ultimately, he still fails to connect with them and doesn't feel for them, as is the case with most strangers he interacts with.
Ghiaccio Despite not really understanding them and finding their unpredictability a bit annoying, Ghiaccio never gets angry at kids. He has a completely different demeanour when interacting with them and keeps a close eye on how he acts around them. He doesn't want to be like his own parents who didn't treat him well.
66 notes · View notes
squadrah · 7 months
Note
Been thinking about this, but which members of La Squadra would be childfree(have almost or completely no interest in having children) and which would like to have a family(if given the chance)? And how big of a family?
Not my forte, but I'll do my best!
Risotto: He strikes me as the type that, given the chance, would have settled down to continue his family's business and had at least one child. I headcanon that he was an only child because being a large baby, the pregnancy and birth was quite difficult and his parents decided not to risk another one. If he faced the same risk with his first child, he would stop at one to spare his partner, but if size was not an issue, he would be content to have several children.
Formaggio: On paper, he is definitely childfree, and had probably bailed on relationships with partners who either started entertaining the idea of having children together, or were too relaxed about contraceptives. He's too independent and carefree to actually want children of his own, and yet if he had to babysit, he would find that he's actually quite good with children, and from there it might not be out of the question with the right partner to have some.
Prosciutto: He is fully capable of being a provider and mentor to children, but having any of his own is not a priority to him in the slightest, and he would not be enticed to make any in order to start a family. Children would have to happen to him in the form of say, becoming acquainted with a worthy child who is up for adoption, or an unexpected pregnancy popping up with a partner that he is firmly committed to. Would definitely draw the line at two.
Pesci: He thinks children are fine and it must be nice to have a family, but he is too self-conscious about passing down his genes and doubts his own ability to take on such a huge responsibility and be a good parent whether his child turns out typical or not, so he tends to play it safe and never really think about it. It would take a very capable and confident partner for him to risk it, and even just one child would be quite nerve wrecking for him to handle.
Ghiaccio: He is in a similar boat to Pesci, but he is much more firmly childfree on account of having his hands full just trying to manage his own temper and energy in a constructive manner. He's also in the camp of "why bring more children onto this bitch of an earth" so he would equally scoff at any of the others expressing interest. I tend to headcanon him as asexual on top of everything else, so the idea of having sex to have children would be quite repulsive to him.
Melone: He is more chill about the idea than the others in the sense that with his disabilities, children are mostly out of the question, but if he managed to have one, he would probably be excited... at least until said child entered their defiant phase, at which point he would start wondering why he ever thought this would be a good idea. He's basically the reverse of Formaggio: on paper children sound good, and then they say no to him once and he's done forever.
Illuso: His opinions are mixed. As a middle child from a numerous family, he knows first hand how messy children can be, and he's not exactly in the right place mentally or emotionally to start a family. On the other hand, he loves drama and would probably get a kick out of observing his own children have blowouts, as long as he didn't have to deal with any of it. Three would be plenty, and he fantasizes about them tearing each other apart over the inheritance.
Sorbet: Absolutely agrees with Ghiaccio about it being cruel to bring more children into life's great shit show, and his frugal nature also rejects the idea on financial grounds. He is probably the most normal about being childfree - you will not find him having arguments either for or against, and if pressed, he will dismiss any attempts with it being a personal preference and his choice. The most he could tolerate is being an uncle, as long as the child liked plants and opera.
Gelato: He, on the other hand, loves children, and not just the idea of them one way or another. To him they are as precious as kittens and puppies are to most people, and he really enjoys their company because kids are very honest and also little freaks with unique ideas and views. If he could, he would have a gaggle about him at all times, but he is also one of the worst enablers ever, so it's probably a good thing that he can't go out and start a family of his own.
57 notes · View notes
Note
ooh hello is it ok to make a little request for la sqaudra reuniting with their s/o after they were gone on a 2 month trip that was back in the usa? I’m having thoughts an if think it’d be a cute reunion maybe aa ( if you could please include Sorbet & Gelato I would greatly appreciate it <3 if not that’s also ok ) thank you! i hope you’re doing ok c:
I realized you might have meant La Squadra was on the trip and came back after I had written most of them, whoops -v-
Tumblr media
Risotto doesn’t let on how happy he is you’re back. His face is stoic and bold as ever. It’s only when you’re both cuddled up in bed that he even acknowledges you were gone. He mumbles in his deep voice that he missed you, bumping his large Roman nose against yours in a rare display of vulnerability. Normally he likes to hold hands while sleeping, but this time he’s laying his head across your chest, holding your waist with one arm and linking his fingers with yours with the other. For once in his life, he neglects his work the next day to just spend time with you, shyly peppering kisses across your nose with such gentility that it makes you giggle. He admittedly has abandonment issues, but he doesn’t let you know that he was constantly checking WhatsApp to make sure you were okay, or that he had worried himself sick thinking about almost every ‘what if’ possible. But you’re safe in his arms now, and that’s all that matters to him.
Tumblr media
Ghiaccio acts like your absence didn’t bother him, until you mention the ski trip you took with your family. Then, he pouts for the entire drive back from the airport, his face scrunched up and tinged pink. He’ll listen to you for a while before bitching that HE could’ve taken you to a FAR better place in the Alps, and blah blah blah Italian superiority blah. The only way to shut him up is to either kiss him on the lips or force him to cuddle you. Cuddling is probably the way to go, at the very least you’ll make his entire face turn red from the close contact.
Tumblr media
Melone is all over you as soon as you pass the airport gates. It’s a little embarrassing how he litters your face in kisses and picks you up and twirls you around in a surprising display of strength. Wants to know every detail about what you did, who you were with, what you ate, what you saw. He loves to watch your facial expressions while you recount your trip, smiling dreamily as he absorbs every detail. If you give him a gift, he’s over the moon and gushes about whatever it is to whoever will (and even those who won’t) listen to him. Missed you probably a bit too much.
Tumblr media
Proscuitto is happy you’re back, but he doesn’t show it physically until you’re no longer in public. He’s the type of person who believes any intimacy needs to be kept behind doors. Not because he’s a prude (even though he can be some times), he just believes things like that deserve to be special and just between those involved. He asks about how your trip was, gently nipping at your ears and holding you close in his lap. Normally he doesn’t hold or touch you a lot, but two months of not being able to hold you while you slept in the same bed meant he had a lot to make up for. He sits and flutters his long eyelashes at you, waiting patiently for you so be done with your story so he can bring you into a passionate kiss that leaves you breathless. Lots of smooches and cuddling.
Tumblr media
Pesci is freaking out!!! In a good way, that is. He was so lonely while you were gone, even Prosciutto didn’t help his mood improve. You’re immediately smothered in love and kisses by your sweet fishie boy, his face beaming with happiness. He hangs off every word you tell him, cheeks burning when you present him with a gift. You spend most of your time smothering him in love and affection and recounting your trip to him, soothing away his worries about maybe finding someone else.
Tumblr media
Illuso acts aloof and cold until you’re in private. Then, he’s touching and holding and kissing and whining to you about everything. He bitches to you about how terrible his squad was to him, even though you know he’s probably the villain in all of his stories. When he’s finally done with his laundry list of complaints, he asks you about your trip. He does care, he just has a funny way of showing it, like making fun of the people you encountered or the restaurants you ate at.
Tumblr media
Formaggio honestly probably didn’t even know you were gone. It’s a bit disappointing, to tell the truth, but it’s expected. Feels bad that he didn’t know and tries to make it up to you by listening to your stories from the trip. Falls asleep halfway through. Once again, expected. Formaggio does admit that he missed snuggling and cuddling you, and that his cat wasn’t a good replacement (he’s covered in scratches). Fontina probably notices your absence more because she doesn’t get as many treats.
Tumblr media
Gelato is one of those people who makes an embarrassing sign to hold as they wait for their person to come through the gate. Sorbet tried to get him to spare you from embarrassment, but Gelato insisted. So, you’re greeted with a huge “WELCOME BACK FROM REHAB” sign with poorly crossed out pictures of various drugs pasted over the sign, Gelato behind it with a shit eating grin. Sorbet just looks tired. Gelato wastes no time telling you how miserable he and Sorbet were without you, but Sorbet has to assure you that they were fine and didn’t deviate from their usual routine.
357 notes · View notes
malibusmoke · 1 year
Text
La Squadra NSFW headcanons
.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.
INFO: dom/sub, Gn! insert, BDSM themes mentioned, NSFW, read at your own discretion, all characters expect Sorbet & Gelato
⇢ 18+ only! Minors do not interact with this post/blog!!! ★#✫#
.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.
Prosciutto
Daddy kink, either top/dom or pillow prince really. Acts like the most classy vanilla man, but is a total whore. Gags, bondage, overstimulation, edging, begging, cockwarming, cucking, pet play, ddlg… he has a lot. Likes roleplaying power imbalances and has a whole bunch of expensive lingerie and toys for the two of you to use
Pros you on your knees sucking him off under the desk while he works, or seated in his lap with his cock deep inside you. Sometimes it’ll be the other way round, with his tongue lapping at your sex and your hand in his hair, or, him seated on your cock/strap
He has a foot kink. Prosciutto will cream in his pants if you grind your heel against his cock, tell him he’s a slut when he does, he fucking loves it
Prosciutto likes being dominated but is shy about it. Peg/Top him and he’ll turn into the most obedient slut the second you brush against his pros(ciutto)tate, but can also be a brat- don’t worry though, you can just fuck it out of him. When bottoming he’s tight, even when fully relaxed, and whimpers with every twitch of your hips. Because of how sensitive he is, he can cum untouched, and all but screams when he does
When domming prosciutto loves dolling you up, buying you some nice lingerie to fuck you in, or maybe even a few collars. Has a serious daddy kink, you could get him riled up just by whispering it in his ear, by which point he’ll drag you away by the wrist to find the closest place to fuck your throat and leave you needy for him the rest of the day
Cums a fair amount, and it doesn't actually taste too bad, especially for someone who smokes. His dick is 6”, with average girth with a nice curve, a pretty red tip, and trimmed blonde pubic hair, uncut
Complete fucking cuck and has gotten off to the thought of someone else fucking you while he watches multiple times
Wears garter belts
more below the cut.... ->
Ghiaccio:
Humps like a rabbit and doesn’t care about lasting, the quicker he cums the better in his opinion. Unfortunately, that means you don’t always get to finish in the same round, but he makes sure you do at least once. Expect 2-3 rounds on average, he never does 1 unless it’s a quickie, and each round will last for 3-4 minutes maximum
He Mutters angrily under his breath the whole damn time, like dude, shut the fuck up, you’re not a goblin
Rage-type fucking and pulls your hair/manhandles you. You’ll have bruises from how hard his hips slam against you.
Has a teeth fetish
Ghia will go for multiple rounds and his refractory period is fucking insane, you’ll probably be a quivering sore mess by the end. Pants and whimpers with each thrust as he gets closer to his orgasm, and completely collapses on you when he finally cums. His face turns bright red and his dick is incredibly sensitive, so much so that he won’t pull out/touch it for a few minutes for sake of tearing up.
He doesn’t care much about dom/sub really, and isn’t particularly romantic in the act- those things come with aftercare (which he’s not particularly great at either…)
If you ever do convince him to sub he’ll be a brat, there’s no doubt about it, but damn if it isn’t worth it, he has the best ass. Well-muscled from skating and he’ll moan when you dig your fingers into the flesh and use it as anchorage to fuck deeper into him
5” dick, with average girth, not curved, uncut, veiny, has curly pubes that may or may not also be dyed like his hair, very leaky. Doesn’t have a lot of cum, balls are always clean-shaven, and hang pretty close to his body- they're perfect for sucking wink wink
Pesci:
Look, the boy has no fucking clue. He probably almost certainly overcompensates for his lack of experience by doing some really dumb shit that he thinks might work- but ends in a disaster
He’s not completely clueless per se, but, don’t expect something great
He needs a lot of guidance and reassurance.
Formaggio:
Pet names, pet names, pet names. He will be calling you the sappiest shit and praising you the entire time
“Honeybun, sugarcakes, sweetie-pie, angel, loverboy/girl, babydoll, darlin’,”... the list goes on
The only way to shut him the fuck up is by wrapping a hand around his neck, shoving him into the pillows, gagging him, or giving him something to keep his mouth occupied
On that note, he gives great oral. Pretty sloppy but he knows all your sweet spots and how to roll his tongue to get you moaning, tugging his head closer and panting out his name. Lets you take your time with oral on him, but can’t help his hips thrusting up to meet your admissions
Not serious during sex at all, and really doesn’t care for dom/sub dynamics. Formaggio will top or bottom depending on what you’d prefer; as long as he cums and it feels good, he doesn’t care
Loud the whole time, moaning out praise and gasping, ���Oh, ah, ohhh fuck babydoll, ah! Fuck that’s it right there! Mmmh god you feel so good darlin’!” People will hear
Doesn’t cum a lot but it’s thick and great to use as lube
6.3” dick with 5” girth, fairly veiny and doesn’t bother with pubic hair apart from trimming it a bit. Curved ever so slightly to the left and has average balls that he loves being played with
No matter what the dynamic is he loves riding, watching you bounce and grind yourself down on his member or doing it to you
Risotto:
Leans towards a dom based on past experience, but is somewhat open to subbing. Top/Bottom doesn’t really matter, but depending on your anatomy he’ll be more open to it due to misconceptions and hangups about emasculation or something. Don’t worry though, because the second your cock/strap teases against his puckered rim, all worries are out the window and he finds he loves it
For a man his size and build his libido is pretty low actually, whether due to antidepressants, stress, work, or a combination of all, but he views sex as another way to be close together as a couple, and as an experiment/challenge of sorts
Fairly kinky actually but doesn’t have a lot of time for longer sessions. When he does though, bondage, dacryphilia, dom/sub, gags, light (only light) impact play, praise, cockwarming, choking, orgasm control ect: are on the table, both giving and receiving
Risotto loves being praised and degraded. Call him your little whore, pretty cumslut, good boy, or nasty bitch. Also loves titles, master, sir, mistress ect: (both giving/receiving) and won’t mind indulging in your daddy/mommy kink very occasionally if you have one
Ultimate power bottom. Big beautiful buff man with his hand wrapped around your neck, whispering praise in your ear while he grinds his hips down on your cock/strap and forces orgasm after orgasm out of you, moaning when he feels your release inside him. Need I say more?
Now, if you do get him to sub he’ll fit into whatever role you want him to, from obedient slut to bratty bottom. Not loud, but lets off deep grunts of moans into the nap of your neck or ear. Risotto is big on kissing/touching/lots of physical intimacy and has amazing aftercare.
When Risotto is topping chances are you’ll have a lot of trouble fitting him, if at all possible. He’s 8”~ and pretty girthy, it takes a long time to prep you for him, and you usually have to orgasm before
Uncut, pretty pinkish flush, leaks a lot of precum (especially when bottoming) and has curly white pubic hair that’s well-kept
He cums a lot, it's very thick and salty. When he orgasms Risotto goes completely still and doesn’t breathe, before finally letting out a strained moan and grinding his hips to draw out his orgasm and milk himself
Prostate orgasms, on the other hand, are entirely different, and you’ll have to clamp a hand over his mouth while his back arches from the bed because he gets loud
Melone:
Melone is into absolutely anything you throw at him, no matter how weird, how vanilla, how random or how kinky it is. No kink or fetish is too much for him, short of you know, him dying. You could step on his dick while choking him out and he’d be moaning your name and fighting the urge to cum
He will top or bottom, sub or dom, he does not care. Melone gives great head and will have you coming undone in a matter of minutes. Loves for you to take control whether that means sitting on his face or shoving your dick/strap down his throat, but when you do finish, he’d love for it to be all over his face. Or better yet, you can come once on his face, and once in his mouth
Under his bed is a massive crate of toys. Some are normal, but some are weird- think ovipositor vibrating tentacle toys, 24-inch glow-in-the-dark dildos (?), and scarily accurate feet fleshlights
However, he will want to use you for experiments, tying you up and forcing as many orgasms out of your aching sex as possible. Or maybe he’ll tie you up and edge you for hours until you’re crying and begging him to cum, and then overstimulate you. Oh, and you can be sure his dick will twitch when he licks your tears away
5.5” and on the thinner side, curved upwards and uncut. He dyes his pubes too, they’re neatly trimmed. Leaks like a waterfall and he gets wet patches through his pants whenever he’s horny
Fucking weird little man
Probably has a few charges of public indecency
Illuso:
Loves his hair being pulled, like seriously, Illuso will moan and whimper with his eyes rolling back whenever you do it. Just be prepared for him to fuck you even harder when you do, slamming you against the bed frame and digging his fingers into your hips 
Exhibitionist, dom, bondage, gags, leashes, anal, degradation, and humiliation are his personal favorites
Will fuck you in the mirror realm where it would normally be a public place, encouraging you to be as loud as possible while bending you over every possible surface and thrusting into you/bouncing on you at a punishing pace
Regardless of your anatomy, this man has absolutely made you squirt and then overstimulated you to the point of squirting again with tears streaming down your face and your legs buckling. He then probably mercilessly teased you about it (he thought it was hot and came immediately after though)
Very much a dom top, but, if you do manage to persuade him to bottom or sub, then be prepared. He’s a snarky little bitch and won’t stop being one until you thrust inside him an shove his face down into the pillows
Illuso has an amazing ass, and as much as he won’t outright admit it he loves it being eaten. When bottoming/subbing, he’ll only become properly submissive once he’s orgasmed a few times (tie a vibrator to his twitching cock and leave it for a while) after which he’ll do anything you ask, be surprisingly cuddly and receptive to praise.
Slut. Whore. Whiny little bitch. Needs to be put in his place. 
117 notes · View notes
jacks-obsessions · 2 years
Note
How does Halloween go with the moth boys(jjba)?
Is there something special the fall season does with them too? Like do they get fluffier or more or less colourful for instance?
Risotto
Big guy sleeps a lot due to it getting cold out, the need to hibernate is strong, he wants cuddles
Risotto's colors are monochrome so they don't get any darker or lighter
His fur stays the same too
He likes Halloween because horror movies run on tv, plus he's less likely to get yelled at or have things thrown at him, not that he goes out much anyways
He likes to see what the kids dress up as
Melone
He’s very tired but he wants to be awake as long as you’re awake
Loves Halloween and horror movies
Wants to dress up too
Loves handing out candy
His fur gets duller and he gets really sluggish but he really does try to keep going
Loves to decorate
Ghiaccio
He functions better than the other two but he’s still pretty tired
Less grumpy and more docile
Hates horror movies because they scare him too much
Helps you decorate but gets really frustrated about it
Screams at the decor while putting it up because it’s difficult 
 He wants cuddles
Scared of kids but they love him
114 notes · View notes
mink-place · 1 year
Note
hello! hope you’re doing well so far 💕 ok, so i have this headcanon that la squadra didn’t exactly have the best lives prior to joining passione, and i was just wondering if i could have some headcanons of any of the members finding out that the fem! reader actually had a pretty normal and healthy past (ex: parents weren’t abusive/didn’t die when reader was a child, had good friends who she still keeps in touch with to this day [they don’t realize she’s an assassin tho, they just assume she has this high-paying job], and overall, never faced any traumatic events), but for some bizarre reason, ended up joining passione and being assigned to la squadra? reader also never brings up her past, but only because no one asks her about it. which member(s) would be like “wait, why tf are you in the mafia?!”, which member(s) wouldn’t say anything but are still curious, and which member(s) wouldn’t really care? ty!! <33
Hi! I'm doing well, thx for asking! This was a fun ask to do! (Also, most of my hcs are kinda scenarios and in this case the hcs are connected)
La Squadra reacting to a fem! teammate that doesn't have a traumatic past (or any reason to be in Passione)
Tumblr media
Risotto Nero
Since he's the leader your first talk when you entered in La Squadra was with him, not really for any personal question, he didn't ask you why you where there, that isn't his business.
He wasn't interested in know why you were there, but he found out while on a meeting where Formaggio asked you about it.
You casually said that you really didn't had a bad childhood or any reason to be there, you just wanted.
He's a little confused, you're here for fun or something? Mafia's no game.
Even tho, he'll don't think much about it and won't mention it or make any comments, it's your life, do what you want.
Prosciutto
As same as Risotto's, he isn't interested in knowing why you are there, he just minds that you do your job right, your personal life is not his problem.
He was sitting next to Pesci on the team meeting when you were askes about why you where there.
You told Formaggio and everyone that you didn't have any reason to be on Passione.
Prosciutto was also confused and kinda annoyed, you were taking this as a happy fun experience? Are you that dumb?
Won't really confront you about it, is your business, if you want to be there, go ahead, just mind the dangers you'll face.
Pesci
He was curious about your past, but he didn't want to make you uncomfortable or something.
He still tried to have personal conversations with you, like, he told you why he was there and also was very kind as he told you which members where the most easy to get along with.
When he got to knew that you didn't have a reason to be in Passione and you had a “normal” childhood (no drugs, no alcohol, no murders) he was a little worried, are you sure you want to be here?
He won't make you change your mind, but will mention that it's a “little” dangerous to be on a mafia, please be careful with this, don't take it lightly or something!
Formaggio
He's really curious to know everything about you, you're his new teammate, he needs to know if he can get along with you.
When he gets the chance, he straight ask you, and it was while on a meeting.
“I don't understand, then why the hell r u where?” he asks, you really don't have any reason? Are you okay?
He's shocked sure, it's not like ypu can consider the mafia a little activity to do on the weekends, it's something big. Are you sure you have think of it?
You gotta be kidding him, you are hiding something, maybe you don't want to tell him. He'll insist on you to tell him the truth, but you aren't lying!
He'll give up on a while, don't worry.
Ghiaccio
It gets a while to him to talk to you, he doesn't want you to think he's your “friend 'til the end”, no, he isn't interested on being friends with you, he just sees you as his teammate.
The only situations where he talks with you are when you are paired on a mission or on a meeting, afar from that, you ain't gonna get a conversation with him.
He was minding his business while on the meeting when he hearded that you where there just because.
He's annoyed out, WHY THE HELL ARE YOU THERE?! ARE YOU TRYING TO GET YOURSELF KILLED?! (lol)
Ghiaccio's not gonna talk about it with you, but you can see that he's annoyed that you take your life so lightly.
Maybe if you get him angry on a mission, he'll slightly mention it.
Melone
He's the one to make you a lot of very personal questions, your blood type, your zodiac sign, your past, do you have a boyfriend?
So he already knew that you where there by yourself, he doesn't mind, you are already an adult, you aren't a baby, he's sure you know what you're into.
Will give you little warnings here and there, but nothing else, your life, your decissions, he ain't gonna and doesn't have the right to change anything.
Illuso
He isn't interested in you, you should be interested in him.
Illuso is too busy with himself to be asking you about yourself, he doesn't want to be friends with you and the only interaction you'll have with him is when he tries to humillate you or tease you.
But secretly, he got your archieve, where all your information is, he knows even your blood type, even if it's irrelevant information.
So he isn't surprised when everyone gets to know about your past, he already knew, and he doesn't care, do what you want.
Won't bring it on a conversation, it's not something important to him.
Hope this was what you asked for!
64 notes · View notes