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#and for those of us still reading these tags I should put the next chapter out in a week so uh hurray
mysweetlixe · 7 months
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-Hybrid Hearts
Summary: Y/N works a clinic specifically for hybrids what happens when eight hybrids with very different personalities end up in her care
Words: 2.7k
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Chapter 1: Lone Wolf
The bright morning light crept through your window curtains, signaling that it was time to begin your workday.
You groggily groaned picking up your phone from your bedside table. You quickly opened the messages to see that you have a few text messages from Luna.
Luna: We have a slight problem at the clinic you might want to get here fast.
You read the message and quickly realized that something unusual was happening. Your work always had unexpected turns, since you dealt with hybrids after all.
Hybrids weren't a new discovery they been around for the last 30 years , but they were still a mystery to most people. Half-human and half-animal, hybrids had unique physical and mental characteristics that often made them challenging to treat. As a veterinarian who specialized in hybrid care, you had seen it all, or so you thought.
You quickly got dressed and headed to the clinic, wondering what sort of problem Luna was talking about. When you arrived, you found Luna waiting for you outside the door.
"Thank god you're here," she said, sounding relieved. "We have a new hybrid patient and they're in pretty bad shape."
You followed her inside, where you could hear faint growling and snarling. As you approached the examination room, you could see that the door was slightly ajar, and a pair of glowing brown eyes shone through the crack.
Luna pushed the door open, revealing a large cage in the middle of the room. Inside, you could see a wolf hybrid lying on the ground, panting heavily.
"Do you know if he has a owner." You asked Luna.
Luna shook her head. "No, we found him wandering around the streets. He's not wearing any identification tags, and no one has come forward to claim him yet."
You nodded, understanding the situation. " It wasn't uncommon for hybrids to be abandoned or lost, especially if they were injured or sick.
"Let's take a look at him," you said, approaching the cage cautiously. The wolf hybrid growled at first, but then whimpered in pain as you examined his wounds. You noticed he had a bunch of cuts and bruises all over him. You need to know what happened to him.
"Would you mind sharing with me what happened?" You queried the wolf hybrid. His gaze met yours. "Why should I? All humans are the same; they treat us terribly," he spat out with disgust.
He's not wrong about that. Most people think of hybrids as being less than human, which is why so many end up in abusive homes or on the streets. The government is beginning to put laws in place to protect them, yet they have a long way to go.
You let out a deep sigh, understanding the wolf hybrid's viewpoint. You couldn't blame him for feeling the way he did. After all, hybrids had been mistreated and viewed as second-class citizens for far too long. You gently placed your hand on the hybrid's back trying to reassure him that you were there to help.
"I know that some humans have done terrible things to your kind, but not all of us are like that," you said softly. "I'm here to help you, and I won't let anyone hurt you."
The wolf hybrid looked you over carefully, his eyes darting around for any indication of treachery. He wasn't quite ready to trust you yet but he was still willing to tell you what happened. A slight sadness and fury tinged his words as he spoke. "I was scavenging near an alley when a group of teenagers ambled by. They saw me and started chucking stones at me, but that didn't satisfy them."
The wolf hybrid's voice trailed off, and he let out a low growl, his eyes glinting with anger. You could see the pain in his eyes and feel the rage in his voice, and it's clear to you that he had been hurt badly by those kids.
"Go on," you urged him gently. "What happened next?"
The wolf hybrid let out a deep sigh, his eyes closing briefly as if to block out the memory. "They cornered me and started hitting and kicking me . I tried to fight back, but there were too many of them. They beat me until I couldn't stand anymore."
You felt a wave of anger and disgust wash over you. How could anyone be so cruel to an innocent creature? It's beyond your comprehension, and it's something that you could never understand.
"Well Your safe now I'm here to help you." You grabbed your clipboard looking for an empty room to place him but turns out all the rooms were occupied.
You sighed getting Luna's attention " what's wrong Y/N"
"All the rooms are occupied," you explained. "We need to find a place to put him where he can rest and recover."
Luna thought for a moment before suggesting, "Well, I have an idea why not let him stay at your house." She said.
The idea of having a hybrid stay at your house scared you of course you knew a lot about them but having one in your own home felt like a whole new level of responsibility. You looked at him for a moment , taking in his wounded state and the fear in his eyes. You knew that you couldn't just leave him at the clinic, not after what he had been through.
"Okay," you said hesitantly. "I'll take him home with me." The wolf hybrid scoffed at the idea " I would rather die then go home with you."
The wolf had no desire to step into a home once more after his experience there, not wanting to be reminded of the pain he endured.
You understood his hesitation and nodded your head sympathetically. "I understand your reluctance, but you need a place to rest and recover, and unfortunately, there are no other options right now." You paused for a moment before adding, "Plus, no one will hurt you in my home. I promise you that."
The wolf hybrid looked at you skeptically before finally nodding his head in agreement. "great let me grab a few things then we get going ok." You left the room with Luna following behind you.
As you collected the essential materials, a sense of apprehension filled the air. It was unlike anything you had done before- incorporating a hybrid into your residence. "Y/N, this will be beneficial for you - considering you live alone, he could provide companionship as well as something to nurture."
You nodded, understanding what Luna was trying to say. It was true; living alone could get a little lonely sometimes. But you were still apprehensive about bringing a wild animal into your home. But you knew it was the right thing to do. Hybrids deserved to be treated with kindness and respect, just like any other creature.
After grabbing everything you needed, you headed back to the examination room where the wolf hybrid was waiting for you. You opened the cage door and gestured for him to come out. "Come on, let's get you out of here," you said softly.
The hybrid took a hesitant step forward, then another. You could see the apprehension in his eyes, but also a glimmer of hope and trust. Slowly, he made his way out of the cage, and you led him out of the clinic, Luna following behind.
The sun had disappeared behind a blanket of gray clouds and rain. The downpour started just as you looked at the hybrid. Most hybrids don't care for getting wet, apparently. When you reached out to stroke his fur, he growled and swatted your hand away. "Sorry," you apologized quickly. "I should have asked if it was okay to touch you first."
The wolf hybrid snorted dismissively, seemingly uninterested in your apology. You sighed, knowing that it would take time for him to trust you fully. For now, you needed to focus on getting him to your house safely.
You drove the short distance to your house in silence, the hybrid sitting quietly in the back seat. He watched the world fly by. It seemed he was lost in thought.
When you arrived at your house, the hybrid didn't move at first. He seemed unsure of what to do next, his eyes darting around the unfamiliar environment. You got out of the car and opened the back door, gesturing for him to come out. "Come on, let's get you inside," you said softly.
The hybrid hesitated for a moment before stepping out of the car. His eyes flickered around, taking in the surroundings. You could sense his fear and discomfort, and you knew that it would take time for him to adjust to this new environment.
You led him inside, showing him around and introducing him to the various rooms in the house. His eyes widened in curiosity as he took in the sights and smells, his nose twitching as he sniffed the air.
"Make yourself at home," you said, gesturing for him to sit down on the couch. "I'll go get you something to eat."
You went into the kitchen and prepared a mealfor the wolf hybrid, making sure to include all the nutrients he needed to recover from his injuries. As you cooked, you couldn't help but think about what had happened to him. It was clear that he had been through a lot, and you couldn't imagine what it must have been like to experience that kind of cruelty.
When you brought the food to the living room, the wolf hybrid was curled up on the couch, his eyes closed in what appeared to be a state of rest. You set the food down on the coffee table and sat down next to him, watching as he slowly opened his eyes and looked at you.
"Here you go," you said softly, pushing the bowl of food toward him. "I hope you like it."
The wolf hybrid sniffed the food briefly before taking a cautious lick. He seemed to like it, as he began to eat it eagerly, his eyes closing in pleasure. You watched him eat for a moment before sighing and looking away. It
was clear that he was still afraid of humans, and it would take time for him to trust you completely.
But you were determined to help him, to make him feel safe and loved. You knew that it wouldn't be easy, but you were willing to put in the effort. The wolf hybrid deserved a second chance at life, and you were going to make sure that he got it. So you sat there, watching him eat, a sense of determination filling your heart as you vowed to do everything in your power to help him heal.
"What should I call you?" You posed the question to the creature, feeling odd referring to him as 'wolf' or 'hybrid'. He shook his head softly in response, replying that he had never been given a name before.
You thought for a moment, considering the different names that you could give him. Suddenly, an idea came to mind. "How about... Chan?" you suggested tentatively.
The wolf hybrid looked at you, his eyes narrowing in thought. After a moment, he nodded his head in agreement. "I like that," he said softly.
A smile spread across your face as you heard him speak positively . It was a small victory, but it meant a lot. It showed that he was starting to trust you, to feel comfortable around you.
"Welcome to my home, Chan,". You glanced at the clock on the wall. It was time to turn in for the night. "It's getting late," you said. "Let me show you to your room."
Chan looked at you apprehensively, his eyes full of fear. You could sense his reluctance, and you knew that it would take time for him to feel comfortable enough to sleep in a room. "It's okay," you reassured him softly. "I promise that you'll be safe here."
With that, you led him down the hallway to a room that you had prepared for him. It was a cozy space, with a comfortable bed and soft blankets. You could tell that Chan was impressed, as he sniffed around the room, his eyes taking in every detail.
"Here you go," you said, gesturing for him to sit on the bed. "This is your room. You can sleep here tonight, and we can talk more in the morning."
Chan nodded his head, his eyes full of gratitude. You could see the exhaustion etched on his face, and you knew that he needed rest. So you left him to sleep, closing the door quietly behind you.
As you stepped outside of his room, you couldn't help but feel a sense of worry. You had never taken care of a hybrid before, and you knew that it would be a challenging task. But you were determined to do your best, to make sure that Chan had everything he needed to feel comfortable and safe.
You went to bed that night with a heavy heart, your thoughts consumed by the task ahead of you. But as you drifted off to sleep, you knew that you had made the right decision in bringing Chan into your home. And you vowed to do everything in your power to help him heal, to make him feel loved, and to give him the second chance at life that he deserved. Tomorrow was your day off maybe you'll take him shopping but for now, it was time to rest and prepare for the journey ahead.
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kellykidd · 8 months
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Baby Severide - Chapter 2: Good Genes
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*Gif belongs to its rightful owner, it is not mine*
Pairing: Kelly Severide x reader
Summary: You and Kelly finally get to tell 51 the news
Words: 946
Warnings: medical terms, hospitals, still not great writing, Kelly Severide being sensitive (who knew he could do that)
Read on Ao3 here
Next Chapter: Chapter 3
Notes: I really love where this is going tbh. Anyone who reblogs any chapters of the fic will now be tagged in the remaining chapters to make sure they can come back and keep reading if they so choose (this includes those who have reblogged chapter 1)
Tags: @district447 @keabbs @storiesofsvu @marvelcharactersxreader @carnationworld @witchywinchester99
——
Holding your hand as you walked up the driveway, Kelly kissed your forehead.
“Ready for this?” He asked.
“The 51 love? Always,” you laughed. 
Sylvie and Matt were the first to greet the two of you. 
“You’re glowing!” Sylvie exclaimed, “how much longer until we get to meet this little one?”
“Well, that’s why we’re here,” Kelly started. 
“The doctor is worried that the baby is too big and may cause some risk to the baby. We’ve scheduled a c-section for Saturday morning at 11:30,” you announced, excited.
“That’s amazing!” Sylvie smiled.
“You ready for this?” Matt asked Kelly.
“Yeah, I’m ready. She’s gonna do great,” he replied, “I’ve got to go talk to Boden about extending my furlough though.”
“He’s between meetings right now. Now is your best bet to talk to him.”
“Come with me, I want some opinions on my replacement.”
Matt followed Kelly into Boden’s office. 
“Mind if I have a listen?” Sylvie asked.
“Go ahead, Doctor said she’s got a strong heartbeat. Been kicking like crazy too,” you laughed.
Grabbing your hand, Sylvie led you to the back of 61.
“Two days away, huh?” Sylvie asked, grabbing the stethoscope from the jump bag.
“Yeah, the timeline was a bit of a shock, but more time Kelly and I can spend with the baby together, so I’ll take it,” you smiled, rubbing your belly. 
Sylvie put the earpieces in her ears and brought the chest piece up to your belly. 
“Magical, isn’t it?” You giggled. 
“She’s so strong. Maybe she’ll be a firefighter like her daddy,” Sylvie laughed. 
“With a family like 51, she’d kick ass at it for sure.”
“Should we go see the boys?”
“Make sure Kelly isn’t trying to get back on shift today,” you laughed.
“Here I’ll help you up,” Sylvie offered, reaching out her hand. 
As she helped you back on your own two feet, you started to feel a little woozy and Sylvie could tell.
“Hey, you okay?” She asked, gripping your forearm.
“Yeah I’m fine, just a little head rush.”
“You should sit down.”
“No no I’m okay, really Sylvie. Thank you. Let’s go see Kelly and Matt.”
“Okay, but I’m gonna bring the stethoscope just in case.”
“Fine by me,” you smiled.
Walking over to Boden’s office, you saw Kelly with a few tears on his face through the window. 
Sylvie knocked on the door and you followed her inside. 
“What’s wrong?” You asked.
“Nothing baby, I’m okay,” he replied, wrapping his arms around you. 
As you used your thumbs to wipe the tears from his face, more streamed along behind them. His mouth with a slight smile. 
“What did you do with my husband?” You asked, looking at Matt and Wallace.
“He was talking about the baby and how happy he is to be becoming a dad,” Matt laughed.
Boden, Matt and Sylvie quietly left the room as you cupped Kelly’s face in your hands.
“Baby I love you and I love this little girl so much,” he laughed, wiping the tears from his face. 
“I love you too babe. I didn’t know you felt thi-“
Kelly caught you off guard with a passionate kiss.
“Let’s get you home,” he smiled.
——
“Can you believe we get to meet our daughter tomorrow?” You asked, smiling from ear to ear.
“You ready?” Kelly asked, packing the rest of his things for the hospital. 
“As soon as we finish packing for the baby. Then, yes,” you laughed.
“You pick out the outfits for her and I’ll pack the rest. You need sleep baby.”
“I’ll be fine. I don’t want to forget anything.”
“Five more minutes then I’m tucking you into bed. We’re having a baby tomorrow, baby,” he smiled. 
——
Kelly dropped you off out front and went over to the lot to park. You found yourself a bench to sit on while waiting for your husband. An older man was sat down beside you a moment later.
“What are you here for, young lady?” He asked.
“A c-section. My baby is too big so I’ve got to have surgery. You?” 
“Bad heart. Getting a new valve today.”
“That’s exciting, why aren’t you in there?”
“Could say the same for you.”
“I guess that’s true,” you laughed.
“Truth is, they’re putting a pig valve in me. I’m going to be 1/200th part pig by the end of the day. That don’t sit right with me. My son already doesn’t talk to me, why would he talk to me when I’m part pig?” He grumbled.
“I’ll tell you what. Once they do my surgery and say I’m all good, I’ll come by to see you, let you meet the baby.”
“You’d do that for an old guy like me?”
“Hell yeah I would. What’s your name? I’ll have one of my nurses look you up.”
“Aaron Whitley.”
You saw Kelly parking the car and walking towards the hospital.
“Looks like I’ll have to let you go. My husband is walking up,” you laughed.
“With a good looking husband like that, I’d leave me too,” he chuckled, “he looks really strong, what does he do for work?”
“He’s a rescue squad lieutenant with the CFD.”
“Good genes.”
“I guess so,” you smiled.
Kelly walked over with your bag.
“Kelly, this is Aaron. He’s having surgery too today,” you announced.
“Nice to meet you Aaron. I’d love to get to know you, but I’ve got to get her upstairs,” he replied, “thanks for taking good care of her, Aaron.”
“I’ll see you soon,” you smiled.
Kelly shook his hand and you waved behind you as you walked in the front doors to the hospital. Today was the day.
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smoooothoperator · 1 month
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untouchable
15: This Side Of Paradise
Lando Norris x OC (Violet Sinclair)
same group friend, unrequited love, acquittances to lovers, ski trip, love triangle, life as lovers
Words: 3.9k
Warnings: SMUT (it's marked, if you are minor, don't read it)
a/n: hello my darlings!! I hope everyone is having an amazing week! Is everyone ready for the upcoming season? Who will watch Drive To Survive??
Masterlist
Official Playlist
previous chapter | next chapter
If you want to be tagged don't forget to message me!
Every way of feedback is very welcomed
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Watching him placing his clothes on my wardrobe made me feel happy and nervous.
I tried to ignore those feelings, sitting on my bed and folding his clothes the way I fold them so they could fit better. I watched him hand his formal suit, his jeans and jackets. I saw him place his shower things and creams in my bathroom.
Since I was little, I always thought that at this age I would be already married, or at least living with the love of my life, sharing an apartment and having a good life with a job I liked and with a good amount of money. And even if the picture I had in front of me, with Lando placing his toothbrush next to mine as well as the perfume I gifted him not long ago, was the one I always dreamed of, I didn't want to believe it, not yet.
Sure, I love Lando, he gives me every reason to make me think that he's the love of my life. But still, there's something that makes me want to take a step back.
Maybe it is that I already saw this picture before, that I saw men's clothes next to mine on a wardrobe, that I saw someone's toothpaste next to mine. Maybe it's the trauma, or the not so friendly reminder that I lived this once and it didn't end well. That this is not a first time experience with someone I love.
I wanted to smile, really. I wanted to smile, laugh, hug him and kiss him until both were out of breath. But the thorn of that memory was stuck on my brain, showing me glimpses of that golden haired man that I used to call the love of my life.
“I need a minute” I said, getting up from the bed and walking out of the room, going to the small balcony of the living room.
I didn't hear his answer, just sitting on the small chair outside and looking at the lights.
I should be happy. I really should. And I want to be happy, grateful. But why, suddenly, I feel this heavy weight on my chest that is not letting me breathe?
“Love, you will get cold” I heard him sigh, opening the door behind me. “Come back inside”
I swallowed thickly when I heard him call me like that. The first time he called me like that and I wasn't smiling.
“What is going on? Do you want to talk?”
I looked at him and sighed, wrapping my arms around him and I took a step to get inside the living room, breathing the scent I learned to love. He wrapped his arms around me and closed the sliding door, kissing my shoulder softly.
“What's going on inside this smart brain of yours, hm?” he whispered. “Be I know there's something, I noticed it while being in the room”
“It's just stupid” I sighed. “Don't worry”
“I do worry, Violet” he sighed. “You mean so much to me, I worry when something is bothering you”
“I can't stop thinking about Owen” I mumble against his neck. “About the day I moved in with him. About how I thought that he was the love of my life…”
“And watching me put my clothes in your wardrobe made you remember that” he ended for me.
“I'm sorry…”
“No, I understand” he said.
He took some steps back until his knees touched the couch, sitting on it and pulling me with him to sit on his lap, holding me tighter. The warm hand in my back rubbed circles while the other secured me on his lap.
“I guess I'm scared” I whispered. “Of living this over again. Of watching things that are not mine in my place and slowly getting used to it to the point that I wouldn't mind if we shared a place. I guess it terrifies me to get my guard down and repeat the same that happened with him…”
“And I promise you that it won't happen again” he interrupted me.
“You don't know that…” I whisper, sadly.
“Violet. I promise you that I will never ever hurt you” he said, firmly. “That I will never do something you don't like. That I will never touch you when you don't want it. What I said this morning was really serious. I want to settle down with you. I don't want to think of someone else that is not you, you are my favorite person in the universe”
I took a deep breath and hugged him tightly. Why do I feel this bad? Why am I letting my memories play this bad with me?
“I just want to be enough for you” I whispered.
“You are more than enough, my love” he whispered. “Just stay with me. Talk to me. And we will make this work, okay?”
“Okay” I whisper.
I pulled away from his neck, looking at him and smiling weakly. I don't deserve him, he's too good for me.
“Do you have plans tomorrow?” he asked and I tilted my head.
“I don't think so, why?” I frowned.
“Come with me to dinner” he smiled. “To McLaren. Oscar wants to meet you”
“But…”
“Come on, tomorrow we'll have a shopping day” he smiled, pecking my lips quickly. “I have to get the suit from some sponsors”
I sighed and just leaned on him, getting comfortable in his embrace and closing my eyes.
“Just give me a day to get used to this” I whisper. “To make my mind understand that you will stay here longer than just a few days. I know I was the one asking you to come stay with me, but…”
“Heya I understand it” he whispered. “I get it, you lived something similar and you are getting flashbacks. And it's okay. But I'm not going to hurt you. I would rather die than hurt you”
“Please don't say that again” I whisper. “It just… it scares thinking of that. Thinking of something like that happening to you. I still feel nauseous when I see Pietra Gasly holding a flower bouquet in Belgium's race… And now I don't want to imagine myself doing the same as him”
“I'll never make you put yourself in that position” he said. “I'll always come back to you, okay? I'll always end a race and put this bracelet again”
I smile weakly, remembering the matching bracelets we have in our wrists. The promise we made that night in that house.
“Put it back always and think of me” I said, pulling back my face from his neck and looking at him.
He smiled and nodded, leaning closer to me until our lips met. And this kiss was different. It felt like the cherry on top of a cake, that sealed our feelings, like the signature on a contract. This kiss was everything we needed to start our life together after pouring our hearts out, after talking about our worries and doubts, after putting the trust in each other.
And without saying anything we understood it. We knew that when I got up from his lap and stood up, he did the same, standing in front of me and kissing my forehead. I held his hand and we both walked to the bedroom, temporary ours.
🔞
We didn't need words, we knew what was going to happen next, and the shivers over my body were just a product of how my heart was beating for him, only him. Our eyes asked each other for permission to take off each other's clothes, so slowly that it felt like our hands and fingers were dancing to the choreography of a slow song. His lips were on mines, never pulling away for at least a pair of millimeters to breathe and then to melt again on mines.
“My beautiful, beautiful Violet” he whispered, running his hands over my naked body, caressing my back and sides with his palms. “You have no idea how lucky I am”
“Make me yours” I whisper, feeling his fingers unclipping my bra.
“Oh, for sure I will” he whispered, tracing his lips over my jaw towards my neck. “I'll treat you like the queen you are”
I chuckled softly, kissing him again and again and feeling how my toes touched the edge of the bed as well as the back of his knees, making him sit with me on his lap. I moaned softly when I sat on his bulge, feeling how it touched my clothes core. His hands moved to my hips and helped me to move slowly, rocking my hips and making our intimate parts still clothed rub against the other, making him get harder and me wetter.
“Feels good” I moaned, feeling how the tip was rubbing perfectly on my clit, how his kisses were moving to my breast and his lips wrapping around my nipple.
I arched my back, giving him more access to my chest when I felt his hand cupping the breast he wasn't kissing, leaving subtle marks on my skin. He was worshiping every inch of my body like a good lover, exploring it like he wanted to make a map of it only for himself.
I felt him stand up with me in his arms just to turn us around, placing me on the bed with him on top of me.
“I need you” I whispered looking at him, cupping his cheek.
“Yeah?” he smiled, bringing his lips to the breast he didn't kiss yet while his hand cupped my core, making me gasp and moan at the same time.
I moved my hips against his hand, feeling how I clenched around nothing, needing him. At this point I didn't care what part of him, his fingers, tongue or length, I just wanted to feel him.
His hand pushed down my panties, making me moan when I felt the cold of the room, that wasn't going to last long, hit my core. But that cold was immediately away the moment his fingers traced my folds. I moaned arching my back again, burying a hand on his curls while the other held the blankets.
“Lando” I moaned, feeling his fingers tracing circles on my clit before pushing them slowly inside of me.
“Good?” he whispered looking at me, smiling and kissing my lips while pumping his fingers in and out of me, his thumb rubbing my clit.
“Fucking amazing” I moan against his lips, kissing him deeper.
He curled his fingers making me gasp, feeling how he touched my sweet spot. I stopped feeling his lips on mine to feel them on my chest, then on my stomach. I opened my eyes and saw him between my legs, watching in awe how his fingers moved inside of me, and seconds later feeling his tongue on me.
“Fuck” I cried in pleasure, feeling how the knot in.my stomach was ready to snap, making me clench around his fingers and release around them.
“My sweet girl” he moaned, pulling out his fingers just to lick my core, pushing it on me, making me gasp and hold onto his hair.
It felt like heaven, looking at his face buried between my legs, not pulling away until I came apart for the second time.
He sat on his knees after pulling away from my core, making me moan at the sight of him. I copied his posture, kneeling face to face and kissing him, making him hold me close to him.
“I have condoms on my bag” he whispered, making me chuckle.
“Did you buy them before coming home?” I said.
“Of course” he smirked, pecking my lips and getting up from the bed.
I smile looking at him, watching how he took off his boxers and came back to bed. He placed the box on the nightstand and I followed his hand with my eyes the moment he grabbed one, holding it between his heart and index finger.
“Sit straight” I said, standing on my knees and moving closer to him, placing my hands on his shoulders.
I grabbed the condom and unrolled it down on his length, hearing him sigh relieved with my touch, feeling his hands in my hips to help me sit on his lap, his length between our bodies.
“I love you” he whispered, holding me and looking into my eyes.
I smiled softly and kissed him, breathing in deeply and raising up my hips just to sink down on him slowly. I felt him all inside of me, filling me and fitting inside of me like a piece my body lost.
“I love you too” I whispered, moving my hips with his help.
It was magical, perfect. The feeling of his lips on my skin, his hands on me, his length inside of me. Everything I could think about was him, on how good his hands hold my breasts, of how good he sucks my nipples, how good it feels when we roll our hips together, skin against skin.
I just didn't know how many times we did it that night, but the only thing I know is that what we did was real, it was pure love.
🔞
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Waking up next to her in her bed felt amazing. Getting up and watching my things in her bedroom felt so real.
Yesterday, when she told me that watching me put my things inside of her wardrobe made her think about Owen, I felt angry. But not angry with her. I was angry with him. Because he destroyed her, made her be scared of things like this, of being in love again, of being touched.
And I wanted to make sure she knows she's loved. I'll make sure to remind her every day that I love her and that I adore her. I know I will never do something like what he did, I love her too much to hurt her and push her away.
“Oh, you woke up early” I heard her yawn, walking inside the kitchen.
“Mhm, yeah” I nodded looking back at her, king when I saw her wearing the shirt I had yesterday. “I wanted to make breakfast”
“You said that you won't cook” she chuckled, standing behind me and wrapping her arms around my torso.
“Toasts and tea are something I can make” I said. “I won't burn the house because the toaster is configured”
“Okay” she laughed softly, pressing her lips on my shoulder. “Last night was amazing”
“It was” I nodded, turning around and looking at her, kissing her forehead. “Are you okay? I didn't hurt you, right?”
“No, I'm perfect” she smiled, standing on her tiptoes and kissing my lips.
I smile and pick her up, sitting her on the counter and standing between her legs. There's something about her that pulls me like a magnet, that makes me want to kiss her and touch her all the time. I need to hold her hand or hold her close to me. Maybe it's my subconscious mind that wants to make sure this is not a dream, just in case.
Last night I couldn't stop. I needed her, more and more. I needed to feel her, to hear her, to taste her. She's mine, now for real. I spotted every mole on her body, traced a constellation with the moles of her arms and back and kissed every inch of her skin, worshiping her and treating her how she deserves to be treated. I lost the count of times we did it, how many times I made her fall apart and how many times she did it to me. It was a night full of pleasure, and none of us cared about it.
“Why don't we stay all day here, hm?” she smiled.
“I have to get the outfit for tomorrow's dinner, love” I smile, kissing the tip of her nose.
“Then we go now in the morning and then we'll stay all day here” she reaffirmed.
“You don't want to buy something for you?” I asked.
“I mean… it's not a dinner where everyone will go with gala dresses, right?” she asked, tilting her head to the side, something she always does when she's either confused or paying attention to something.
“Oh, no” I laughed. “That kind of dinner is the one for the FIA gala. And I wasn't invited. I mean, I didn't do something relevant to be invited”
“Hey, I'm sure this new season will be better” she smiled cupping my cheek.
“Unless I'm one of the top three…” I sighed, smiling weakly. “Anyway, what we were talking about”
“Right” she sighed. “Just… You know my style. Do I have to buy something to fit in the dress code?”
“No, but…” I smiled softly. “I just wanted to spoil you, silly”
“You can spoil during the trip” she chuckled.
“Oh, right! We have to reserve things” I said, squeezing her hips.
She smiled and nodded, kissing my lips and jumping out of the counter when we heard that the toasts were ready. She went to her office and grabbed her laptop while I placed everything on the table of her kitchen.
It was perfect. This life with her, cooking and eating together, sleeping together and making plans. It felt amazing and I couldn't wait for this to be a routine and make it official, having an apartment for both of us.
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I was once in the MTC some years ago when Lando invited all of us to their car launch. It was a big place, full of cars and history decorated for the launch event, full of orange, black and blue balloons.
But now, it was decorated with Christmas things. Fairy lights around the columns, some Christmas trees, and some drawings made of fake snow on the windows.
“Hey, guys!”
I turned around, with a glass of champagne in my hand, and found Oscar with his girlfriend walking towards us. Lando smiled, unwrapping his arm from my waist and walking towards his teammate to hug him.
“Lily, hey” I smiled, recognizing Oscar's girlfriend.
“I guess I have to welcome you to the team” she smiled softly, hugging me
“Yeah” I laughed softly.
“I'm glad he finally confessed” she said.
I laughed softly, smiling when I felt Lando's hand back on my hip, holding me close to him.
We walked around, looking at all the cars, at all the trophies. It was just like the day we spent together in the museum, he explained how every car worked, who drove it, who won the trophies and where. And everytime I looked at him he had that beautiful sparkle in his eyes whenever he talked about the team, about his dream.
“I'm proud of you” I said, placing my hand on his chest.
“Oh? Where did this came from?” he chuckled, looking at me.
“Because you made your dream come true” I smiled. “This is the place you dreamed with, the team you wanted since you knew you wanted to work in this sport. And you are so focused on following that dream that you didn't notice that you already made history here, my love”
“But it's not enough” he smiled weakly. “I didn't win yet”
“But you will win this year” I said cupping his cheek. “You said it, the second half of the season was good, the team worked hard and found the missing piece and thanks to that you and Oscar had a lot of podiums. Even a Guinness record! You will have plenty of opportunities this year to win, I'm sure”
“You have no idea how much your words mean to me, Violet” he smiled, hugging me and resting his forehead against mine. “You have no idea how lucky and grateful I am to have you by my side”
“We can do this, Lando” I smiled. “We are in this together. I will be by your side every time you'll need me, cheering for you, supporting you. And I'll be in the crowd, screaming your name when you stand on the top of the podium, okay? And when I can't be there on the races, I'll wear your colors, I'll watch you on the TV or my laptop. I won't miss anything”
“God, stop it, you'll make me cry” he laughed, hugging me tightly.
“And I'm here to hold you and wipe away the tears” I giggled, hugging him, kissing his cheek.
After some minutes alone, we walked back to where the dinner was taking place. Lando introduced me to his team, and it just felt right. Watching all his mechanics welcoming me and hugging me, teasing Lando and making him blush, felt good. Watching Zak smiling at me and patting Lando's back was like looking at a father congratulating his son. The girls of the team welcomed me, happy to have a new addition and to meet Lando's girl who he couldn't stop talking about.
McLaren is Lando's second family, and feeling welcomed even if they knew me because I was at previous races, felt good.
“Where are you going to spend New Year's?” Oscar asked us, sitting on the same table with his girlfriend. “Are you going with your family?”
“Oh, no” Lando smiled, looking at me and resting his arm on the back of my chair. “We're going tomorrow to Egypt”
“Egypt?” Lily asked, surprised.
“It was my Christmas gift” I smiled looking at Lando, kissing his cheek. “I study art history and ancient languages”
“Oh, right! You work at the British Museum! I forgot that” Lily laughed softly.
“We just want to be on our own” Lando said. “And I have my personal tourist guide, so it's a win for me”
“I hope you'll pay me” I said, hitting his chest softly.
“Oh, I will” he smirked, kissing my temple.
“Gross” Oscar laughed. “But I'm happy for you, actually. It was so annoying watching how you were like a lost puppy whenever Violet came to the races and hearing your sad songs”
“I wasn't playing sad songs!” Lando gasoed, making us laugh.
“I have audios, mate” he laughed.
“Cute” I laughed looking at Lando, kissing his cheek softly.
The rest of the night was amazing. They made a speech, taking everyone for their hard work, promising that good things will come the next season. And I couldn't feel prouder when I saw Lando standing next to me, holding a mic and talking about how grateful he feels, how lucky he is to be where he is.
I was happy to be with him, to see him smile whenever he talks about his dream and about what he loves.
taglist
@elisysd @racinggirl @ninifee1802 @kakorrhaphiphobia @landoyesrizz @lorarri @bellwhysomean @leptitlu @aphroditeisamilf @brekkers-whore @copper-boom @sideboobrry11 @alltoomaples @f1madison @elijahslover @silkenthusiasts @chonkybonky @summerslike11 @randomgirlnumber-13 @is-just-a @whentheautumnleavesfall @malynn @mycenterfold @barackosteaa @izzy-marvel @ssprayberrythings @ophcelia
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alocon · 1 month
Text
A Soulmate Who Wasn't Meant To Be [4] - Max Verstappen
written by alocon
Note: Name and Part One based on the song A Soulmate Who Wasn't Meant To Be by Jess Benko
Summary: Things seem oh so familiar between you and Max when you cook together, and it makes you realise that you are so so screwed (as if every driver except Max can't already tell that you both have at least SOME remaining feelings)
Before you read: Part social media chapter, possible use of y/n (I've already forgotten if I do in this chapter but I do in a few parts of this series)
fc: Blanca Soler
[Previous Part Here][The Masterlist]
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A Soulmate Who Wasn't Meant To Be [Part Four] - MV¹
instagram
youruser
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liked by maxverstappen1 and others
youruser: A series of very very unfortunate events
tagged: mickschumacher, estebanocon, lance_stroll
-view all comments-
maxverstappen1: What the fuck happened?
youruser: "Let Mick cook in your house" they said. "It will be fun" they said.
maxverstappen1: Ft. my girl at the end (can I have my cats back yet please?)
youruser: Sure, hurry up and come get them maxverstappen1: On my way! danielricciardo: He's only ever uses !! or anything other than dry texting if it's autocorrects fault *liked by creator* youruser: real
user1: Mick, Esteban, Y/N and Lance was a group I didn't know I needed until now.
mickschumacher: Why those photos? And why was I targeted more here?
youruser: Your fault, you face the consequences mickschumacher: fair one
estebanocon: Does the house still smell of burning?
youruser: YES A BIT I'VE TRIED EVERYTHING TO GET RID OF IT!! youruser: I AM SUFFERING estebanocon: LMAO youruser: ESTIE THIS IS NOT FUNNY
user2: I love how dramatic she's being over how bad the smell of the burning food is
lance_stroll: She is not being dramatic. It was awful. youruser: REAL, IT WAS SO BAD, EVEN JIMMY AND SASSY RAN AWAY user2: Max's cats are over? Is he too??? 😏 youruser: Sleepover with my two besties
georgerussell63: Oh god what did he do
youruser: So so much. He ruined my favourite pan :(
lance_stroll: Today was fun
youruser: It was, we should do it again (over someone else's house next time) estebanocon: Over mine maybe?? mickschumacher: Yesss
----
You got out your phone when you got a notification, chuckling as you realised that you never changed Max's contact name in your phone after the break up. Not that it mattered - most of your communication happened on Instagram or in person after your break up. You quickly removed the silly little heart emojis you had put there before reading the messages.
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Maxie: Hey you, have you still got the same number?
You: Yessir I do indeed
Maxie: Great, how are my babies?
You: Great! Currently asleep together on my bed
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You: Little angels
Maxie: Awwe. I'll be over in 15 to get them, thank you for the emergency babysitting
Max: So glad they're calm with someone 🙄🙄
You: Max, I'm always the favourite, know your place
You: Okay, I'm making dinner for tonight, come over whenever. Boys aren't here yet btw
Maxie: What are you making?
You: Lasagne
Maxie: Same recipe as always?
You: Ofc, ofc
Maxie: Awesome!!
You: Alright hurry up
Maxie: Yes ma'am
----
"So," Max started as he made himself comfortable, having immediately started sitting on your kitchen counter once he entered your house. "They've not been too bad, no?"
You continued to chop the carrots as you shook your head. "They've been absolute treasures. As usual."
"Hm." He shrugged, sipping the drink you made him. "They're never treasures for me."
"Maybe I'm the favourite."
He chuckled sarcastically to that. "You wish."
You looked him straight in the eyes, smiling sweetly before dropping it to a monotone look. “Are you gonna make yourself useful or are you just going to continue to sit there looking pretty?”
“You think I’m pretty?”
You looked at him, watching the soft smile appear on his lips. You grinned, not missing a beat before replying, “The prettiest princess of them all.”
“Oh fuck you,” he responded, groaning and sipping more wine. He then placed his glass back on the counter before getting down. “What can I help with?”
“Can you start cooking the meat?” You asked, and he nodded, not even hesitating to question you, having seen you make this recipe many times before. You both began to cook together.
As you stood side by side in the kitchen, the familiarity of your movements was unmistakable. The way you  effortlessly passed each other ingredients, the unspoken communication as you both worked in sync - it was as if no time had passed since you and Max had last cooked together.
The clinking of pots and pans, the sizzle of ingredients hitting the hot pan, and the fragrant aroma of your ex’s favourite dish filled the air, evoking memories of the countless meals you had prepared together in the past. The only thing that was different was the fact that the soft music which used to be in the background to stop the silence was replaced with chatter and laughter from the other room.
As you chopped, stirred and seasoned, the pair of you found yourselves slipping into easy conversation, reminiscing about the times that they had spent in the kitchen together. Laughter and occasional shared jokes filled the space, creating an atmosphere of warmth and companionship which made it clear to both of you that your bond had not diminished with the end of your relationship. 
The fact that he remembered your culinary habits made it easy to fall back into the old rhythm, ensuring that you didn’t get into each other’s ways. He still acted the same whilst cooking too, placing his hand on the small of your back when he moved behind you to keep you from bumping into him, high fiving you when he remembered a step without you having to remind him, him double and triple checking that he set the timer. It all felt so… familiar.
Everyone loved your food, especially Lewis, who claimed you had just made him the best vegan lasagne he had ever tried. That cheered you up a lot. The evening was going great. You, Max, Charles, Lando, Lewis, George, and Daniel all ended the evening by playing some games, going between Mario Kart, Fifa, GTA and other video games, to board games. 
“Oh fuck you,” Max said as he landed on one of Daniel’s properties, Bond Street, which had a hotel on.
“Shh, you’ll wake the kids.”
Max looked at you weird when you said that until he noticed the two cats who had fallen asleep on your lap. “Sorry.”
It wasn’t long after that that you realised that, maybe monopoly was getting a little too heated, so you all retired to your respective bedrooms for the night, as they were all sleeping over. You were happy that these sleepover nights with the boys were becoming a more regular thing. You used to do it when you and Max were still together with you, Max, Daniel and Charles in the apartment you had together at the time. You would, obviously, both use your bedroom and Daniel and Charles would share. Times were very different now, though. 
You laid in bed for hours, attempting so desperately to sleep, but it didn’t work. No matter how hard you tried, you really couldn’t sleep. So you gave up. You sat reading for a bit before heading downstairs to grab a drink. Walking into the kitchen, you were surprised to see an oh-so-familiar man. He looked at you, noticing the look in your eyes and simply picking up the vodka he brought, pouring two glasses and sitting on the floor, tapping the space beside him. You joined him. 
He took a sip of his drink before speaking. “You look tired,” he observed. His Monegasque accent was a lot stronger when he was tired and not sober. He watched you lean your head back against the cabinet door after drinking some of the vodka in your glass. “Not sleeping well again?”
You shook your head, chuckling softly. “When do I ever?”
Charles took note of the slightly pained look on your face, stress evident in your eyes. He was silent for a few moments, before finally speaking again. “Is it about Max?”
You nodded, arms falling onto your lap as you felt a fluffy presence make himself very comfortable on your lap. “Hey little one,” you said, looking at Jimmy, who was clearly very comfortable. “Everything we do is reminding me. Everything. Every single time I look at him, every time he hugs me goodbye or smiles at me, or hell, even just looks at me. I feel like it’s killing me. It just... I don’t know. My therapist is on holiday for the next couple of weeks and I think the fact that I won’t be able to talk about this with them makes it worse and I can’t talk to anyone except you, because no-one except you knows and it’s just...” You tried to find the words to describe what you were thinking.
“Shit?” He suggested. 
“Shit.” You agreed, drinking more of your vodka, sniffling softly as you let go of your emotions. 
“Have you thought about telling him?”
You shrugged. “I want to, it’s just never a good time to get emotional. I feel weird being so open with him, you know? Like I know I need to tell him, I really do, but it’s so fucking difficult.”
You heard someone clear his throat in the doorway, head snapping around to see Lando. “Bad time? I can come back. Sorry, I just wanted to get some water quickly.”
“No no, we were finishing our conversation and Charles was about to head up to bed, right Charles?” You asked, noticing how hard he had been trying not to yawn.
“Yes.” He gave you a hug, leaning to your ear to whisper “try and get some sleep, we will continue this when you’re sober, alright?” You nodded, standing up as he left.
The kitchen was silent whilst Lando filled his cup with water. He turned, noticing your red eyes. His voice was soft when he finally spoke, comforting. “Have you been crying?”
You quickly ran your hand over your face, downing the rest of your vodka. “I’m fine, Lan. Don’t you worry about me.”
“Okay. I don’t believe you but I don’t want to make you uncomfortable by pushing it.” He leant in to give you a soft hug, before pulling away. “I hope you end up being able to tell this mystery guy whatever you need to tell him. I’m here if you ever need me.”
“Thank you, Lan,” you responded softly, placing a friendly kiss on his forehead before you left the room, returning to your bedroom and finally managing to get some sleep.
The morning came quickly and you were awoken by laughter downstairs. Sitting up, you took a moment to run your hand through your hair before getting up and going to shower, after which you headed downstairs.
“She lives,” Daniel sarcastically stated, grinning at you as you walked into the room.
“Good morning, Daniel. I'm going to get a drink,” you responded, walking straight past the group and into the kitchen, grabbing a monster from the fridge and opening it. 
“Only a few months with your new team and you're already being a traitor, I see.” 
You turned to look at Max, who was smiling softly as you stared at him, drinking the monster without breaking your eye contact. He chuckled, rolling his eyes dramatically at you. “Did you sleep alright?”
“Yeah, I slept great.” You were lying, of course, but he didn't need to know that. He would question it if you told the truth. “How about you?”
“I slept alright. Didn't fall asleep until like 3 hours after we went upstairs,” he replied, sipping his (shock horror) redbull.
You both continued to make friendly small talk for a little while. “Hey, Max. Do you think I could talk to you about something?” You asked, a little quieter than you had been speaking.
“Of course. You look serious, what is it?”
“Well,” you were quickly cut off by Daniel, who leaned his head around the doorway. 
“We're playing Fifa, are you two joining?”
You looked at Max. Max turned to Daniel. “Yeah just give us a moment and we'll be out, we're both quickly going to grab breakfast.” Daniel nodded before retreating. Max looked at you. “As you were saying?”
You shrugged. “It's nothing important. It can wait. Let's just get our food and go play fifa.”
He placed his hand on your upper arm, causing you to look into his eyes. He started speaking softly, lovingly, in Dutch. “Schat, if you want to, we can talk now. You look stressed and talking about how you feel is so much more important to me than Fifa.”
You felt your breath hitch, a spark of warmth where his finger laid on your arms. You looked at him, watching the way his eyes travelled your face, almost as if he was committing how you looked this close to memory. His eyes were dilated, and he had an expression on his face that you couldn't quite read. “Max.” Your voice was soft, almost breathless. “It's fine, seriously. It can wait.” You smiled, a genuine smile, causing him to nod, before smiling and retreating to the living room. Fuck.
-Word Count: 2.1k-
Hi All!! Another part done, hope you're all well and having a good day. I finished writing this at work this morning. As always, if you wish to be on the taglist let me know. I'm still trying to work out how to properly do a taglist as I am relatively new to using Tumblr but I'll work it out hahah. Have a lovely day xx Alocon
Taglist (pls work): @c-losur3 @itsjustkhaos @reidsworld
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nexysworld · 11 months
Text
Guardian Angel 🖤 Part 3 🖤
Read on AO3 - Requests are Open - Masterlist
Read Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | 4.1 | 4.2| 4.3
Chapter Summary: Reader gets put in time out for bad behavior while Leon teaches her the rules of what things are going to be like from now on.
🖤Pairing: Yandere!Leon/Fem!Reader 
🖤Tags (not all apply to all chapters): NSFW, Masturbation, Dubcon, Sex, Gaslighting, canon typical horror and gore descriptions, probably eventual kidnapping or kidnapping like behavior, use of pet names like bunny. Leon induces some PTSD like flashbacks on purpose, general things of that nature. Unwanted creampie, etc. Probably treat as dead dove. Inappropriate use of animal collar.
As always this was inspired by @hxllfiredoll 's story Something Permanent. If you like Yandere!Leon please go give that a read along with @dollrxst's story Lovesick and @gigabyte-flare's story There's no Escape. Also wanted to add @lipglossanon because I love their work and you should too. While not explicitly yandere! it's adjacent and their works are awesome.
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~♡🖤♡🖤♡🖤♡🖤♡🖤♡🖤♡🖤♡~ 
You fought hard. You really did, you scratched at his back, kicked, struggled. When the basement door was flung open you even grabbed hold of the doorway with all your strength, but your hands lost their purchase as he continued the descent down the stairs. In a last ditch effort to free yourself from him, you tried to swing your body to knock him off his balance, it didn’t work. Leon didn’t budge an inch and his hold on your didn’t ease up. Your eyes stung when you heard the flick of a switch and you were greeted with a terribly bright fluorescent lighting. You were dropped into a chair. You struggled again but he held your arm in place like nothing while he clamped something cold over it. He did the same to your other arm and leg until you were stuck in the chair by all four limbs. Leon stroked your cheek softly while you trembled against the cold chair. “This isn’t how I wanted this to go, Bunny. Really it’s not, you forced my hand, left me no choice. All you had to do was be a good girl.” “F-fuck you!” The words not coming out as harshly as you intended through your trembling, you at least chalked up the nerve to spit at him. Smack. Your vision became disoriented and your head flung to the side, a searing pain in your cheek. A bit of blood formed in your mouth where the skin of your cheek was cut on your teeth. That was the first time you saw true anger flashover Leon’s face for a brief moment. You watched him wipe the spit from his cheek before he disappeared somewhere. When he came back your heart sank and the giant syringe in his hand. It looked like nothing you’d ever seen before, even the needle was giant. You wiggled around in the chair as much as you could as he placed the needle against your neck. “Don’t fight it, it’ll hurt more if you’re wriggling around. If you sit still it’ll only hurt for a moment.” He held you by your hair and sunk the needle in your skin, it felt like being pierced by a pole, it hurt bad. You expected to feel the additional sting of medicine, but you didn’t, less than a few seconds later Leon pulled it out of your neck, he dabbed at the spot with a tissue and then rubbed the sore spot a little. “Wh-what was that?” You asked nervously. “A little tracker for my special girl. Brand new design too, gotta bring doughnuts to those lab geeks next time I’m at work.” He finished inspecting the injection spot before backing away. “Alright. Let’s start with lesson one; respect. And to help you with that, I brought a little toy.” He pulled something black out of his pocket, you couldn’t quite make out what it was until he began to place it around your neck. You heard an audible click. A collar? He moved for a moment to bring a chair to sit in front of you and plopped down. “Now, from now on you’re going to refer to me as Daddy or Sir. Though I’m partial to the first one, as long as you’re addressing me with respect, we’ll be okay. Are we understood?” You glared at him with all you could muster. “C’mon baby, I asked you a question. It’s not very respectful to leave me hanging is it?” Your lips remained sealed. If talking was what he wanted, you weren’t going to give it to him willingly, it was the only way you had to rebel now. You watched him let out a disappointed sigh. “I guess you are a slow learner. That’s okay, we have plenty of time.” He fished a small remote out of his pocket. “One last chance sweetheart.” 
Silence. The scream you let out was feral. The pain radiated from your neck and shot tingling sensations throughout your entire body. You flopped within the constraints of the chair, if you had been standing it would’ve knocked you on your ass immediately. The sensation only lasted a second at most, but it was awful. A fucking shock collar?
“Do we feel like speaking now?” “Y-yes.” “Yes what?” “Yes Sir.” “That’s a good girl.” He said leaning forward to press his lips to yours gently. “See? Just gotta be a good girl f’me, alright?” “Why are you doing this to me?” You sobbed against his kisses. “Aww, my poor little Bunny. I’m not doing this to you, I’m doing this for you.” He said peppering your face with kisses, stroking the back of your head softly. “You need this. You need me. I’ll keep you safe sweetheart, you just gotta learn your lessons and be good.”
“Wh-what . . . what are you talking about you fucking psycho!” You watched him raise an eyebrow and lift the remote again. “Wait! Wait! No! I’m sorry - I didn’t mean that. I’m sorry Daddy.” You pleaded with him. “I just meant I don’t understand. Please explain to me, I’ll be good.” You watched him smile with approval.
~♡🖤♡🖤♡🖤♡🖤♡🖤♡🖤♡🖤♡~ 
You were trying his patience, you really were. His plan not going exactly how he imagined? That’s fine, stuff happens. But your defiance of him, spitting on him. He wasn’t thrilled with how he handled that. His hands were supposed to be for your love and comfort, but hey he’s human. If it had been anyone else he may have done worse, but he knew his little bunny wasn’t smart, didn’t think things through. It wasn’t your fault. 
Leon leaned back in his chair and ran his eyes over you. “First, why don’t we get you out of that chair, hmm? I’m sure it’s not very comfy. Besides, look at you, naked, dirty, my cum drying on your thighs. Poor girl.” He hated how frightened you looked at him right now. Didn’t you understand? You didn’t need to fear him. He was here to protect you. You were his world. No worries, you’d understand soon. Leon got up and exited the basement gathering a bucket of warm soapy water, a washrag, and a towel before making his way back down. He gently scrubbed your body free of dirt and dried cum as best he could before dabbing you dry with a plush towel. He walked over to the other side of the large basement and flicked the light on. This was a very special project of his just for you. He made it using the metal parts from a broken down jail, the metal cage was in perfect condition. He’d set it up in the basement, except he padded the entire area including the poles. He wanted to make sure it could contain you, but that there’d be no way for you to hurt yourself, accidentally, or as a form of rebellion.  Leon undid the locks from the chair and lifted you, holding you bridal style as he pressed a few kisses to your forehead softly. He carried you over to the cell and set  you down before closing the cell door and locking it. “Consider this the Bad Girl Room.” He said with a smile. He saw you pout as a look of confusion formed on your face. “B-but I said I’d be a good girl.” “And that’s how you earn your place out of the Bad Girl Room. But right now? Right now you’ve been a very bad girl, trying to run away, spitting at me. That’s not very nice Bunny, especially after all I’ve done for you the past few days.” And there it was, a small look of guilt on your face. It made his heart soar. There’s his little Bunny, despite everything you were still in there, so sweet. 
“P-please Leon, Sir . . . why are you doing this? If it’s because I asked to go home I’m sorry. I’ll stay the rest of the trip, just please let me out.” “Oh sweetheart, this is for your own good. Look at you, you’re a complete mess. You blabber about a man who doesn’t exist. You can’t remember simple things like packing pajamas or your phone. You even agreed to go on a last minute trip to the middle of nowhere with a man all alone. That doesn’t even include the million ways you leave yourself open for harm at home.” He sighed. “You simply cannot take care of yourself. That’s what I’m here for, baby. It’s okay to be crazy, I won’t let anything bad happen to you ever again.“
“Wait - no!” He watched you yank and grasp at the bars in a pathetically desperate attempt to escape as he began walking around the basement flicking off the lights, preparing to leave. “I want you to sit in there and think about your bad behavior and we’ll talk when I think you’ve earned it. Goodnight Bunny.” He said, flicking the last switch off, leaving you in total darkness. 
Leon made his way back up the staircase and closed the basement door behind him. He stretched and rotated the shoulder he’d flung you over, it was his shooting arm after all and after years of recoil it definitely ached sometimes. Once he was satisfied with his joints popping, he ventured back upstairs and sifted through your bags. He collected all of the hygiene items, but everything else was tossed into the trash. 
He took a moment to look at the messy sheets. His cock twitched in his pants when he remembered the look of ecstasy on your face while he was between your legs. The desperate whimpers. He wished more in this moment that you didn’t make him have to punish you, he would’ve loved round two, maybe some sweet morning love making. He groaned – that would have to wait for another time. 
~♡🖤♡🖤♡🖤♡🖤♡🖤♡🖤♡🖤♡~ 
You had never been scared of the dark, at least not since you were a child, but there was a calm eeriness being in total darkness right now. Even when your eyes adjusted the area was pitch black. You found yourself backing up until you hit the plush wall of the cell and slid to the ground shivering in the corner. 
You scratched at the collar around your neck, you spun it around until your hands felt the metal of what felt like a padlock. It wasn’t coming off. You adjusted it back to its original position and pulled your knees to your chest, wrapping your arms around them. Now all you were left with was your own thoughts. Leon had called you crazy. That’s what you’d assumed this whole time, but somehow hearing it come from his voice was like an arrow through the chest. He’d locked you down here, prevented you from leaving. He fucking shocked you. But, he had done a lot for you the past few days. . . maybe he was right? 
No. No. No. Even if you are crazy, he’s a fucking psycho. You didn’t deserve this. This wasn’t normal behavior. This was scary. What did he even mean by ‘all the ways you left yourself open to harm at home?’
But what if this IS what you needed? You could barely keep your head on straight the last few days. If you hadn’t tried to make a daring run for it in his Jeep maybe you’d still be upstairs curled up in his strong arms, safe. Maybe if you hadn't spit on him –
What the hell is wrong with you for even considering that?
Your internal debate was interrupted by the scratching of a tree branch outside. The sound made you jump out of your skin. The moaning of the wind whirling by sounded awfully a lot like….he didn’t exist. That never happened. Stop thinking about it. 
Your thoughts were going nowhere productive. You decided to close your eyes instead. Please, please just let me sleep. I don't want to be alone with my thoughts anymore. 
You weren’t sure how long it took before your brain finally settled into unconsciousness, but it didn’t last long. The first image your brain conjured was of that awful night again. Derek bent over in the alleyway, the tentacles. This time the dream ended with Leon holding the gun, backing you up against the brick wall. “Baby what did I tell you about going out at night? You’ve been a very naughty girl.” He held the gun up to your head and pulled the trigger. You woke up with a scream, darkness still surrounding you. You couldn’t sleep. You couldn’t allow yourself to think. Instead, you sat there staring into nothing with unfocused eyes, disassociating from everything. Even the awful hunger pangs in your stomach were ignored in favor of the sweet nothingness. Sit in the corner. Lay on your stomach. Lay on your back. Sit in the corner. You repeated this for who knows how long. 
Your eyes stung and your head swam. How long have you been down here? Lack of food, water, and sleep was slowly destroying your psyche if it was even intact to begin with.  It started with seeing things flitting across your vision, things walking out of the corner of your eyes. You’d rub them and would be greeted with regular darkness again. As your body continued to  weaken, so too did your mind. Lying on your back you swear you felt something tickle your cheeks. Whiskers. “Jasper?” You whispered. Jasper was your childhood cat, long since passed away. You’d recognize that orange tabby pattern anywhere, the white and orange fur making a heart on his forehead. You giggled and lifted your hand up to pet the soft fur. The cat rubbed against you and purred before seemingly disappearing under your touch.
That was the first time you cried since being in the cell. You missed Jasper. 
Every now and then you’d feel soft fur brush against you, meowing in the distance, purring in your ears. You weren’t sure if you wanted it to go away or if it was comforting. Next came the man in the corner. His voice sounded a lot like Derek’s, but you couldn’t make out his face besides the glowing red eyes. He’d spit nasty words at you. “You already forgot about me? Whore.” You couldn’t reply as grief and guilt washed over you. You felt so weak. Were you going to die? At this point you hoped so. You didn’t want to feel anything anymore. 
The first time you got a dose of reality was when the door clicked open. You thought that too was your imagination, until one of the basement lowlights flickered on.  “Oh baby girl. You look terrible, did you even sleep these past few days?” Leon unlocked the padded cell doors and knelt in front of you, he tilted your chin so you would look up at him. He was scanning your face for a moment with a small look of concern before he leaned down and pressed a kiss to your forehead. “Hey sweetheart. Did you think about your bad behavior?” He asked, voice so soft you almost couldn’t believe it came from the person who’d locked you down here. “Yes Daddy, I’m so sorry for being a bad girl.” Your voice was flat, and you wore a neutral expression. Speaking felt strange again, your throat was dry, lips cracked. 
He kissed you again on the lips this time, you couldn’t help but press back into the affection softly. “Lift your arms up for me.” You did as you were told and he tugged a warm black sweatshirt over your arms and head. Then he helped you stand a little so you could get into the underwear and sweatpants he’d brought too. Clothing felt so good. So warm. He helped lead you from the cell, your legs wobbling like a newborn deer. He stopped for a moment. “Do you want daddy to carry you princess?” You nodded weakly as he lifted you up off the ground bridal style as he walked you up the stairs and out the basement door. You watched as those red eyes disappeared into the distance behind the both of you. You could swear you heard a soft meow before the door closed as well. You rubbed your eyes at the blast of sunlight coming through the windows. He sat down on the couch with you first, sitting on his lap and resting your head on his chest and shoulder. “Gonna brush your hair now, mkay? Then we’ll get you something to eat.” He brought the soft brush to your hair and started at the bottom, gently working the knots out as he went up. It felt relaxing, the bristles against your scalp, the sound of his breathing. It was nice to feel something soothing and real. Even Leon’s scent was familiar and comforting, even though it shouldn’t be. “I imagine you’re hungry? What do you want for breakfast hmm?” He asked, setting the brush down and continuing to massage your scalp with his fingers. It was such a normal question it felt so strange to hear. When was the last time you ate breakfast? You couldn’t remember. “Bunny, is it respectful to ignore me when I’m talking to you?” “Sorry.” “Sorry what?” “Sorry daddy.” “Good girl, now tell me what you want for breakfast, ok?” His hand moved from your scalp down to rub circles on your lower back. “Pancakes and eggs?” You dared to look up and meet his gaze. “I can manage some pancakes and eggs. Wait right here, okay?” He gently moved you off of his lap onto the couch. You hadn’t the energy to run, not that it mattered if you did. He returned quickly with what could only be described as an oversized sippy cup. “Gotta drink up princess, 3 days without water isn’t good for you.” You shakily brought it up to your lips and drank while he disappeared into the kitchen again. Water felt so good on the back of your throat, it was nearly euphoric, you downed the entirety of it as fast as the cup’s lid would allow.
Leon returned a while later lifting you up to carry you into the kitchen and plopping you down in a chair. He refilled the cup and set it in front of you before plating your food. He’d taken the liberty of pre-cutting your pancakes and had left you with a toddler’s spork. It was hard plastic, the kind that couldn’t easily be broken into something sharp.
~♡🖤♡🖤♡🖤♡🖤♡🖤♡🖤♡🖤♡~ 
Leon watched you inspect the utensil with confusion. He reached over to tuck some hair behind your ear. “Gotta make sure you’re not going to hurt yourself. Eat up, I know you must be starving.” Despite your hollowed eyes and cracked lips, you still managed to be the most beautiful thing Leon had ever laid his eyes on, his beautiful girl. He’d missed you so much the past three days, but sometimes caring for someone meant tough love even if it was hard for yourself too, ya know? He began to eat his own food while he observed you. You brought the spork to your mouth and took a large bite of the pancake. He watched your eyes close with pleasure as you savored the first real bite of food in days. “Mmm. ‘S delicious Sir.” You said scarfing down the next bite, and the next. His heart swooned that you loved his cooking so much. “Hey, hey slow down now. Don’t want my little Bunny choking.” He said with a stern tone. He watched you freeze for a moment before slowly chewing the rest of your bite and swallowing. He could tell it was an internal battle to scarf the rest of it down or follow his instructions. “Rule number 2; always listen to me. Understand? I know what’s best for you. Now slow down when you eat, the food isn’t going anywhere.” He was pleased when you did as you were told, slowing down and continuing to eat until the plate was empty. Leon held your cup to your lips again to make sure you got more water. That’s right, silly bunny. Just listen to me. Once breakfast was over he helped you back up to the bedroom. “Now, I know you didn’t sleep much. I think it’s best if you take a nap alright?” He’d made some alterations to the room while you’d been in time out. Call it adult-baby proofing. All the corners were fitted with rubber, the window safety locked. The bed had one of those safety blankets on it, the kind that zipped to the bed so it couldn’t be taken off only adjusted slightly, like a sleeping bag. He didn’t know what your exact state of mind would be after time out, and he wasn’t going to take any chances with you hurting yourself.  Leon ensured you were tucked neatly into the bed before he kissed your cheek. “Get some rest.”
“W-wait.” He saw your arm weakly reach out for him. He took your hand in his and kissed it.
“What is it?”
“I don’t wanna sleep. Bad dreams when I close my eyes. Monsters in the room.” Your eyes kept flicking behind him to the darkness of the open closet. He thought for a moment before turning and looking to where you were looking.
“There’s nothing over there baby.”
“There is, I can see it. The eyes, the red eyes. He was in the basement too.” He felt your hand tighten around his as your voice trembled.
Leon gave your hand a small squeeze in return before walking over to the closet door. He turned the light on and stepped into it. “Look, no monsters.” He waved his hand around inside the closet before stepping back out and closing the door. “Promise baby, I’ll protect you from anything, you just gotta get some sleep.”
He sighed when you shook your head again. He could tell it wasn’t defiance, but pure fear, so he’d let it slide this time. He heard you whimper as he left the room, going into the bathroom and unlocking the medicine cabinet. He pulled a small syringe from it and flicked the glass vial to make sure there were no air bubbles and held it behind his back as he walked over to you and sat on the side of the bed.
“You have to get some sleep.”
“But–”
“What’s rule number 2?”
“Always listen to you.”
“That’s right, such a good girl.” He leaned down to kiss you and when he did he stuck the needle into your arm before pulling away. You winced and slapped your hand over the mark. “It’s okay, shhh. Shhhh.” He brushed his hand against your forehead and peppered your face with kisses. “Sleep sweetheart, I’ll be right here. You’re safe. You’re safe with me.” He said while your heavy eyelids lost their fight to stay open. Soon your breathing evened out and he knew you were asleep.
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Text
Eyes and Ears
Fandom: DC Comics, Batfam
Summary: An AU where Barbara finds Jason instead of Bruce.
Chapters: 2/?
Characters: Jason Todd, Barbara Gordon, Jim Gordon, Dick Grayson, Bruce Wayne, Sheila Haywood, Original Character(s)
Relationship(s): Jason Todd/Original Character(s), Past Barbara Gordon/Dick Grayson
Additional Tags: Canon Divergent AU, Older SIbling Barbara Gordon, Jason Todd-centric, Barbara Gordon is Oracle, Jason Todd is NOT Robin, Jason Todd Has Issues, Jason Todd Has a Crush, Adopted Siblings
Chapter Two: The Dewey Decimal System
Jason got out of bed early in the morning, looking for Jim. After a few minutes of looking around, he knocked on Barbara's bedroom door. Barbara opened her door and put on her glasses. "Where's your dad?" Jason asked.
"Good morning," Barbara mumbled. Jason stood there for a while, trying to figure out what he wanted. "He didn't change his mind. You can still stay here... But I think you should come into work with me."
"On the motorcycle?" Jason asked. Barbara laughed and shook her head.
"We're taking a cab," Barbara explained. Jason pushed a hand through his hair, and Barbara noticed a few circular-shaped burns on the back of Jason's hand and on his arms. Some were old, some were new. "Hey, where'd you get those burns?"
Jason shoved his hand into the pocket of his pajama pants. "Don't worry about it," Jason mumbled as he turned and rushed back to his room and shut the door. Barbara's shoulders dropped, and she cursed under her breath. Barbara was hoping that he'd just tell her. She took her shower and got dressed for work, and by the time she was ready, Jason was in the kitchen making breakfast as if nothing happened.
Jason poured himself a glass of orange juice. "Your dad is gonna lose it when he finds out how many days of school I've missed," Jason mumbled.
"Well, that gives you something to do this summer while I'm at work. You'll get caught up soon enough," Barbara replied. Jason put half of his bagel on her plate. "Thanks."
"It's the last one. I just didn't want to be a jerk," Jason replied. Barbara took a bite and smiled at him. He wore a striped sweatshirt that he found in the closet. It was far too big, but he liked it.
After Barbara finished eating breakfast, she went through the fridge and prepared lunch for both of them. Jason washed his hands and sat on the couch. "Want some eggs?" Barbara asked. Jason shook his head and turned the tv on. "So, just half of a bagel?"
"I'm full. Hey, what do I call you? Do I just call you Babs?" Jason asked.
"Or Barbara. You can call me Barbara," she answered, and Jason nodded.
"Barbara," Jason repeated to himself. She plopped down next to him on the couch, and Jason glanced over at her. He could still see glimpses of his mother in her, and it made him a little bit sad. He took a deep breath and lay his head on her shoulder.
"Did you sleep?" Barbara asked, her voice soft.
"Nope," Jason mumbled. She looked over at him.
"You know it's okay for you to go to sleep here," Barbara whispered. Jason nodded. "I'm serious, Jason."
"Yeah... It's one thing to say that. I've tried staying with people before, and it just doesn't work," Jason whispered.
"Well, you've never stayed with us... It'll be different," Barbara reassured him, "Come on, I'll call a cab when we get outside."
Barbara put her shoes on and grabbed their lunches. Jason followed her outside, and by the time they got to the library, Jason was half-asleep. Barbara nudged him.
"Do you know how the Dewey decimal system works?" Barbara asked. Jason shrugged, and Barbara went behind the desk and wrote a list. "Do you have a library card?"
"Nuh-uh..." Jason answered. Barbara shook her head and clocked in. She got him signed up for a library card and gave him a login for the computers. "Barbara?"
"When you find those books, you can come back here and read down here," Barbara whispered. Jason cocked his head. "There's a bean bag chair down here."
Jason nodded and waved before wandering the library. Jason hated to admit it, but he liked having someone care about him. He found the books in a short amount of time and joined Barbara behind the counter. As people came in and asked questions, Jason would playfully nudge her. Barbara kept her composure, only allowing herself to laugh when it was just the two of them. "Jason, stop," she chuckled as she playfully kicked at him.
Jason grinned and went back to reading. After a while, Jason grew silent, and Barbara almost forgot that he was there. She nearly tripped over him on her way to the book chute. Barbara opened her mouth to apologize, and he lay fast asleep in the bean bag chair. She took off her sweater and draped it over him. She continued to work as Jason slept, and when lunchtime came around, she crouched down and nudged Jason. He covered his mouth and yawned. "What happened?" Jason mumbled.
Barbara took her sweater and helped him up. "You fell asleep. It's time for lunch. Wanna come outside with me?" she asked. He nodded and let her lead him outside. Barbara carried their lunches in her other hand.
They sat on the benches behind the library, and Jason started eating his sandwich. "Barbara?" Jason asked.
"Hm?" she replied as she took a bite of her boiled egg. "What's wrong?"
Jason didn't say anything. Barbara chewed her lip. He finished eating the first half of his sandwich, and he sighed. "They're cigarette burns," Jason mumbled, "So, yeah."
"Did your parents do—?"
"My mom would never—." Jason paused to lower his voice. "My mom would never hurt me... I don't want to talk about that. I just didn't want you making stuff up in your head."
"It must be hard to talk about people who've hurt you—."
"It's not just—. It's not—. I did some of them," Jason whispered, "I don't want you to think I'm weird."
"I don't think you're weird. I mean, I look at you and I just sort of see a kid... I don't really know you yet. I do know that there's something special about you," Barbara answered, "I don't know what it is, and I don't really care at this point. Just know that I like you... And that I'm gonna look after you." She reached to touch Jason's wrist, and he pulled away.
"People promise things all the time, Barbara... But, it doesn't mean you'll keep your word. People change their minds," Jason whispered. Barbara didn't argue with him. She just nodded and went back to eating.
Jason put his food away and went back inside. She didn't follow him. After Barbara finished eating, she went back inside to look for him. Barbara nudged her coworker and asked, "Max, have you seen a little boy with dark hair and blue eyes?"
"YA. Are you babysitting?" Max questioned in return. Barbara shook her head and went back to looking for Jason.
He sat on the floor reading, and she looked down at him. "Mad at me?" Barbara asked. Jason shook his head. "I hope you stick around long enough for me to make good on my promise."
Jason wanted to smile, and he wanted to believe her, but he just couldn't. He wouldn't look at her. Barbara crouched down in front of him and tapped him on the nose. She knew it'd take a while to earn his trust, but she was willing to wait. "Thank you for telling me. You didn't have to, but I'm glad you did," she softly thanked him, opening her arms. Jason embraced her, and she sat across from him.
Jason showed her the inside of the book in an attempt to change the subject. "The Statue of Liberty was a gift from the French?" Jason asked.
"Cool, huh?" Barbara replied.
"It's all ancient history to me," he joked. Barbara shook her head and messed up his hair.
"Wanna come back behind the desk? Max is harmless," Barbara offered. Jason hesitated before joining Barbara on her way back to the desk. "Max, this is Jason. Jason, this is Max... No personal questions Max, just know that he'll be coming to work with me sometimes." Jason shook Max's hand and plopped back down on the bean bag chair.
Barbara clocked back in and worked the front desk while Max put books back. Jason tugged her pant leg and asked her for a bookmark. "Going back to sleep?" Barbara asked. Jason nodded.
"I mean... if that's okay," Jason mumbled. Barbara nodded.
Jason drifted off to sleep quickly after their conversation ended, and he slept until the end of her shift. "Do you want me—?"
"Don't wake him up yet. I'm just gonna check out his books, and I'll get him. Don't worry," Barbara whispered, "Um, Max... Remember you told me about your girlfriend's little brother?"
"Is that who this is? Dick doesn't have a little brother, though. Unless," Max turned around to look at Jason, and Jason took a sharp inhale of breath and woke up.
"He's not Dick's little brother... He's um... He's my—. Jason, do you wanna check out your books so we can go?" Barbara asked just as her cellphone vibrated in her pocket. "Sorry, Max, I gotta take this. It's my dad." She told Jason she'd be out front, and she stepped outside to answer her phone. "Hey, Dad."
"Is Jason with you?" Jim asked.
"Uh... Yeah, he went to work with me. I just didn't want to leave him alone. Why? Is something wrong?" Barbara responded.
"To get guardianship of him, I would have to notify his parents—."
"His parents aren't alive. He told me himself last night—."
"But that's just it. I think Jason believes that. I did a little digging, and I found out I did take his father in a few times, and during that time, Jason was in the care of Catherine Todd. She legally adopted him when he was an infant, but his birth mother's been missing since shortly after he was born," Jim explained.
"What do you mean birth mother?" Barbara asked. Jason came outside carrying a stack of books. "Dad, we'll be home in a little bit. I'll talk to you then... Bye." She hung up and took a few of Jason's books from him.
"Is he mad at me?" Jason asked. Barbara shook her head. "I can't stay there anymore, can I?"
"Jason, you can stay with us as long as you want," Barbara reassured, "It's nothing like that..."
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olderthannetfic · 8 months
Note
Hello, I I hope you're having a good now. I just had a question regarding comments and behaviors on AO3. Warning: Long comment.
-*-
I have been following a specific fic series for a few months now and once in a while I comment on it because I love that author and I want to help them stay motivated to write this research heavy fic until its conclusion as they have a tendency to drop their work when they're nearly finished due to steady streams of negative comments.
For some context, though, the stories they write are always ultra detailed, research intensive and most importantly, contain extremely dark themes (think rape, murders, graphic depiction of wounds, mental and physical torture, trauma layered on trauma, etc.). They also put a lot of effort into creating narratives in which every one of the characters' actions have positive or negative consequences. That is a core part of their storytelling.
The fanfic that they're writing at this moment contains a throughouly described scene of rape between two characters who happen to be middle-eastern. That event (as well as some other just as gruesome events) was tagged from the start's, had multiple warnings, was mentioned on the summary as well as the author's note and still only happened in chapter 19 out of 50. We are at what should be around 52k words in at that point.
So anyways, I leave a comment describing how I appreciate and love all the passion and effort that the author puts in their stories as well as how much I admire their talents to stay true to the characters they've chosen and how believable all their actions are in the fic's settings...
And myself, other commenters, and the author are being called racist by very a very vocal minority of readers(think commenting and responding to 98% of comments that so not voice their opinions)?
Like... what? For what reasons exactly? Apprently, and according to the negative commenter, it is racist and discriminatoring to write/read stories containing these elements with male characters that are of Muslim/Arabian heritage. The commenter then goes on a rant about how pathetic my comment was and how much the author took pride in bashing on Muslim/Arab men into making them rape machines and whatever else they can think about. They completely ignored the warnings they were given, and when they got told again about how many warnings they had, they still went on about how it shouldn't have been written from the start.
So my question is, how do you deal with those types of comments from a reader's perspective? Like... I wanna defend my author because I know that these comments will make them drop the fic like its hot coals... but I'm unsure which direction/s to go with it. I've already reported the more active commenters. Is the next step to keep reporting or to just defend my author in the comments?
Any help or guidance at this point is greatly appreciated. Thank you for reading this entire thing. :'c
--
I don't think fighting in the comments is usually productive. If the author is the kind of person who finds that entertaining, they'll probably do it themselves.
Ignoring these people like they're delusional idiots making a public faux pas is probably more useful. Just keep on commenting on the author's skill.
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flamehairedwritings · 8 months
Text
Stray: Chapter One
Characters: Lt. Simon 'Ghost' Riley x Female Reader 
Rating: E, 18+ ONLY
Words: 5k
Summary: Ghost has a fine time making you admit you need want him.
A/N: Chapter One of Six. A chapter posted every Monday!
Entire Story Tags: hurt/comfort, angst, enemies are lovers, porn with plot, they're not nice people, but are they
Chapter Tags:  Dub-con, only because reader says no when she really means yes, slight degradation, affectionate degradation if you will, praise, praise kink, biting, marking, use of love/ma’am/kitten/slut/good girl, belt around back of neck but no choking, cock-drunk, MDom, maybe even a bit of gentle MDom, rough, dirty talk, man-handling, gloves, fingering, blow-job, deep-throat, unprotected sex, slight possesiveness, permission to cum kind of, creampie
Read on AO3
Stray Masterlist
Please don’t copy or steal my work, and please don’t post it on any other sites. I do not consent to my work being used for AI purposes.
Chapter One - The Safehouse
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His boots thud on every step of the wooden stairs, echoing a little in the stairwell.
Bone fucking tired, he's opted for the nearest safehouse; a flat in a crumbling, shitty block. It's one of the smaller ones in the area, but it's quiet, got some good escape routes.
Still, habits being habits and training being training, he'd scoped out the surrounding area anyway, finding it quiet, not a soul around. No threats. Not really a place you'd want to be out in after dark, anyway.
You might bump into someone like him.
He softens his steps as he approaches the front door, pulling the key out a pocket on his trousers. Nothing on the seal suggests interference, and there's no sign of tampering on the lock so, really fucking ready to put his head down, he unlocks it, opens it, steps a boot inside─
And pauses.
Music.
There’s fucking music.
Coming from down the hall, in the kitchen.
It couldn't be one of the others, this is one of his safes.
Fuck.
It's the last thing he fucking wants or needs, whatever this is.
Silently, he steps fully through the door, closing it behind himself. Unholstering his largest knife and a handgun, he squares his shoulders and moves down the hall. Entering the kitchen, his eyes dart about the small space. There’s the battered radio, his radio, sat on the centre of the circular table, soft jazz music playing from it. It’s so old the sound is slightly distorted, the instruments crackling.
There’s pots in the sink, too.
What the fuck…
Someone's made themselves a nice fucking meal.
And the shower's running too.
Lifting his eyes to the door ahead, his jaw moves as he stills.
A distraction or someone's actually having a fucking shower in his safe house?
Adjusting his grip on his weapons, he nears the door─ 
The water stops.
There's the distinct, faint squeaking of the taps as they're tightened shut, and then the sound of the curtain being pushed aside.
He decides to wait instead of barrelling in, not knowing what he could be facing.
Could be a civilian squatting.
Could be a fucking psychopath.
Steeling himself either way, next comes the sound of the door unlocking, then the handle's being pushed down and it's opened and─
You stand there.
Paused in the doorway, unsurprised.
In a robe. A fucking plush white, looks like it came from a spa, too fucking big for you, robe. Of course it's not fucking his, which means you actually brought it here yourself. He'd've laughed if he wasn't so pissed off.
And then you smile.
Fucking psychopath it is, then.
“Hello, Simon.”
“Stray.”
Of course it fuckin’ is.
Short for Stray Cat, you’ve been so named through the channels, and never supplied any other, because you belong to no unit, are loyal to no one, instead aligning with the highest bidder.
Should be because you just fucking turn up when you like and use other people's shit.
“The fuck are you doing here?”
You shrug. “I was in the area. You can put those down.”
He's not sure he can yet, but he does. Holstering both weapons, he remains where he is, watching you move into the kitchen, grabbing the kettle and filling it with water like you fucking own the place.
“Cup of tea?”
“Nah.” His eyes don’t leave you.
You, on the other hand, have your back to him. “Sure? I found some bags of Earl Grey─”
“I'm sure. Why are you here.”
Flicking the tap off, you shut the lid of the kettle and settle it back on it’s holder. “I needed a shower.” You glance at him, lips twitching. “And I like the head on that one.”
He grunts. “How'd you get in.”
“Reveal my secrets?” You flick the kettle on and turn to him, folding your arms as you lean back against the counter. “You know better than that, Simon.”
He presses his lips together, an action you can't see but can practically sense at this point. Your lips twitching again, you tilt your head.
“You're looking well.”
He doesn't answer.
“Tough job wasn't it?”
His eyes narrow a fraction. “What do you know?”
You tut lowly as the bubbling of the heating water grows louder. “I asked first.”
“Actually, I asked first, and I'll ask again: What the fuck are you doin’ here?”
The kettle reaches its boiling crescendo and flicks off, and you smile as you turn to it.
“Sure you don't want Earl Grey? There's no milk and even you surely can't stomach milkless Builder’s.”
“I don't want one,” he grunts as you set two mugs down.
You glance at him over your shoulder, the robe sliding off it a little as you drop a bag into each mug. “I'm not going to poison you, Simon, not intimate enough for me.”
He opens his mouth to snap a retort, when his gaze catches the drop of water that slides down your neck. His teeth grit momentarily as he follows it, watching it disappear under your robe, most likely about to slide down to─
His brow twitches into a frown as he sees it.
“What's that?”
Placing the kettle down after pouring water in each mug, raising your eyebrows, you look over your shoulder again, then tilt your head down to where his gaze is.
“Oh, nothing.” You grip the robe, pulling it back up. “Don't suppose you have any lemons hidden away?”
His eyes are on the back of your head, and you feel it. 
“That's new.”
“And?” Scooping the bags out of the boiling water with two fingers, you half turn, tossing them into the sink.
And you've forgotten how quick he can be.
Before you can turn back, he's closer, grabbing your extended arm at the bicep with a gloved hand.
“Ghost─”
His other hand yanks the robe off your shoulder again, lower this time, giving him a full view of the fresh, jagged, angry scar that stretches the length of your shoulder blade.
He exhales a harsh breath through his nose, mouth in a thin line.
“What─”
“Get off.”
He lets you shove him away, the hand that had pulling the robe up once more. He watches you as you adjust the cord at your waist, tightening it. All humour has vanished from you now as you tear your gaze from his, turning back to the mugs.
You’re pissed off now and he doesn’t even want to start fucking analysing why.
Silence descends as you shove the mug you’d prepared for him along the counter, water sloshing over the sides, and lift your own to your lips, taking a small sip from it.
He releases a long breath, hands settling on his belt.
“Was it from one of his jobs.”
“I'm fine, Simon,” you mutter, taking another sip.
“Why have you come running to me, then.”
You scoff, setting the mug down and turning suddenly to him, an incredulous smile on your lips.
“You think that's what this is?”
His head tilts minutely. “I know it is.”
You laugh, folding your arms as you lean back against the counter again. “You're so cute. I was just in the neighbourhood.”
“You're never ‘just in the neighbourhood’, Stray.”
“‘cause you're the authority on me, are you?”
“I know what can make you cum, that tells me everything I need to know.”
You stare at him. Then, you snort, a wide smile spreading across your lips as you reach for your mug.
“Very cute, Simon.”
He watches your lips settle over the rim of the mug, watches your throat move as you swallow. 
Well, seeing as he won’t get the sleep he wants…
“You know…” Exhaling a breath, he pulls his headset off and sets it down on the circular table. “... You’re still a fucking shit liar.”
“I’m not, I do think you’re cute.”
You’re smiling again, pleased with your funny little quip, you’re always pleased with them, and it doesn’t falter as he moves closer.
“Well, now I know that is the truth…” It does falter slightly as he takes the mug from your hands, places it on the counter behind you, where his hand then rests, arm nearly brushing against yours. Tilting his head down to look at you, you have to tip yours back. “... That’s why you’re here, isn’t it. He can make you dance to his tune, but he can't give you what you need. What you crave.”
Your smile has eased, but he sees the darkening in your eyes. “Your presumptuousness is grating.”
“Leave then.”
You don’t move. Predictably.
Your arms are by your sides, and he’s already noted the quickening of your breath, your chest rising and falling a little faster. And your smile’s gone.
He shifts his weight to one foot, leaning more on the hand behind you, leaning closer.
“Go on,” he murmurs. “Play your little game, mouse. We both know how it's going to end. Or I could just…”
You inhale sharply as suddenly his other hand is at your inner thigh, making your hands flatten against the counter door behind you. 
Movement around his eyes suggests he’s smiling.
Fuck, you hate being too easy.
Gritting your teeth, you lift your chin a little more, silent.
He releases a sound, almost a chuckle. His gloved fingers glide against your sensitive skin, tracing up and down, and you hate that he can probably see how tight your jaw is.
“Tell me you want it,” he murmurs.
You lick your lips. “No.”
“No?”
His fingers inch higher, so close to your aching pussy.
Your lips part. “No…” You lift a hand to his face. Then, you grip the material of his cloth mask.
Instinctively, his hand darts up from your thigh, gripping your wrist tightly.
You still, gazing at him. After a moment, you lick your lips again. 
“Just want your mouth, Ghost. Please,” you murmur.
He stares at you.
Then, his grip loosens.
“Did you just fuckin’ say ‘please’?”
“Shut up.”
Pushing his hard mask up and off, and the material one up off his mouth, you then claim his lips. He groans against your mouth as he hears his mask clatter to the floor, your arms wrapping around his neck. Sliding his arms around your waist, he tugs you against him, making your lips part with a gasp.
“Always so fucking needy, aren’t you,” he rumbles as you bite at his lower lip.
“Funny, I thought that was your hard cock I can feel…” you breathe, trailing off with another gasp and a smile as he tightens his grip on you.
“Shut up.”
He kisses you fiercely, so hard it’s almost bruising.
You love it.
Rising up on your toes, you press as hard against him as you can, and he holds you there, but it’s not enough.
“… stupid, fucking vest…” you hiss as you draw back suddenly, and then your hands are fumbling with the fastenings. He just watches you, hands gripping at your waist.
“Thought you liked feeling it against your tits.”
“Not today.”
Shoving it off of him, it joining his mask on the floor, you return to your position, and… yes… it will do.
He’s never gotten entirely naked with you, and it drives you insane sometimes, but you don’t dare to push, lest he make you stop completely, so you don’t try today, just let him take the lead.
And he does.
He captures your lips in one, long, firm kiss that nearly steals all the breath from your lungs before he’s kissing down your chin, jaw and neck, making your head tip back.
Well, kissing is generous, it’s more like he’s biting and sucking.
Trapped between him and the counter, all you can do is arch against him as he mouths at your skin, your eyes closed, mouth open, harsh breaths escaping you.
“Beg for me,” he mumbles against your skin.
“No…” you breathe, and his hand is suddenly between you, pulling at the robe cord.
Parting it, his gloved hand glides from your stomach, up over your tits and down to your hip
“Beg.”
“No…” Even you would admit how breathy and pathetic the single word sounded.
He bites down where your neck meets your shoulder, making you cry out softly, and then his fingers are tugging at your hard nipple.
“Beg for me, then I’ll give you what you want,” he murmurs into your ear.
All you do is moan, gripping at his biceps.
“Mmh… I…”
“Beg, love, then I’ll play with your needy, puffy little cunt.”
Turning your head closer to his, you bite hard at his jaw, your saliva slicking the skin and stubble there as you moan, and he knows he nearly has you.
“You want that, don’t you, love… Want my fingers stroking your aching little clit… My cock stretching your hole open…”
You would be embarrassed at the moan you release but you don’t care.
“Simon…” you breathe, and he presses an almost soft, open-mouthed kiss to a bite-mark that’s forming, and you crumble. “… Please, I want that, I want you, please─”
Snarling, he grips your waist and spins you, walking you backwards swiftly and shoving you against the table. Gasping as your hip bumps against a chair, you gaze up at him with half-lidded eyes as he shoves you up, making you sit on the table. Falling back onto your forearms, you send the radio and his headset clattering to the floor.
One of them sounds like it breaks, probably the radio from how the music suddenly cuts off; you don’t care.
“You’re gunna fuckin’ pay for those,” he rumbles as he unbuckles his belt, eyes fixed on yours.
“How would you like me to do that?” your murmur, corners of your mouth lifting as you rub your ankles against his hips.
“You know.” Pushing your legs further apart, he stands between them. “You want my fingers first, want to be stretched open for my cock?”
Licking your lips, your chest rises and falls swiftly as you look at him. “Yes.”
“Want the gloves on or off?”
“Off. Want to feel you.”
“Yes, ma’am.” Removing his right glove, he settles his left hand on your hip, before he runs the other straight down your inner thigh, to your pussy, where he slides his forefinger right into your slick hole.
You cry out as your back arches, eyes falling shut.
“Yeah… That’s good, isn’t it…” he murmurs as he starts to fuck you with it “… Tell me that’s good, kitten.”
Lying back, your head nearly hanging off the table, you don’t want to give into him fully too quickly, so you just moan. And he allows it, for now.
“So fuckin’ wet already… Were you drippin’ from the moment you fuckin’ saw me… I bet you were, weren’t you, you needy little slut… Bet you could take another finger already…”
He eases a second, long finger in so easily, and you fist the robe that’s spilled around you. 
“Oh, God…”
“Not quite, love.”
When his thumb moves from your hip and starts to slowly circle your clit, you’d happily call him so.
You rock your hips into his hand as you moan, almost mewling like your namesake.
“That’s it, fuck yourself on my fingers…”
Gazing up at him, you could cum just from the sight. His eyes flick from your own to your cunt, his shoulders loose, relaxed, and, looking at his chest, you can see his breathing has picked up. You love what you can do to him… but you know you can do more.
Locking your ankles at his lower back, you drop your knees down to the side, giving him better access, and a better look, at your soaking cunt.
“Why don’t you get on your knees, Simon…” you purr. “... Why don’t you taste how wet you’re making me…”
He grunts, though it almost sounds like a groan.
“Now that’s really cute…” Suddenly, his hands are off of you, and before you can whine at the loss, he takes the fronts of the robe in both hands and pulls you up and forward until you’re on your feet, held between him and the table. “... You think you can give the orders here, love? Don’t fuckin’ think so.”
Then, he releases you, and takes a step back. 
“On your knees.”
Lips parted, your body thrumming with pure fucking lust and adrenaline, you smile.
And then you sink to your knees.
“Good girl,” he gravels as he unbuttons and unzips his trousers.
“Fuck you, Simon,” you murmur, your smile lingering and your thighs squeezing together as you tip your head back and open your mouth.
Creases appear around his eyes again; he’s smiling, too.
Pulling his cock out, his groans in the back of his throat as he strokes it a few times with his ungloved hand before he places his heavy tip on your outstretched tongue.
“You know what to do.”
His hand falls away as, instantly, yours takes its place, and you start to stroke, squeezing lightly, as your mouth closes around his cock and you suck hard.
“Oh, fuck…” he hisses, fingers flexing at his sides as his hips buck.
You let his cock sink in deeper from the action, and then you take him all, his tip hitting the back of your throat.
You’re used to it. Or, rather, used to him.
“Christ…” he grits out, a hand flying up to grip your shoulder.
He never touches your head when you suck his cock, unless you ask.
You draw your head back, and then take him all in again, then again, then again, until, looking up, you see his eyes have closed. As if sensing you looking at him, his eyes snap open, and he tightens his grip on you.
“Yeah, you look at me with those big fuckin’ eyes while you suck me off… I’m gunna empty that pretty fuckin’ head of yours until all you’re thinkin’ about is my cock.”
Drawing your head back, you use your tongue to push thick globs of saliva out of your mouth and down his cock before smiling. “You think I’m pretty?”
“Shut up. Put your mouth to better use.”
Exhaling a laugh, you then take him all the way in again, keeping your eyes fixed on his. He grunts and watches you, drawing in sharp breaths. You fucking love sucking his cock, feeling the ridges and veins with your tongue; it’s thick to the point where your jaw will have a delicious ache tomorrow if you carry on for too long, and, well… On your knees, sucking the cock of the feared Ghost and having him grip at you for it? 
That’s pretty fucking intoxicating.
When you have him all in once more, nose brushing against his trousers, you then still, holding all of him in your mouth and throat.
“Yeah, get it all wet for your cunt…” he breathes, voice tight as his eyes flutter, trying to keep them open.
You nearly have him. He’s so very close to the edge.
And you want to push him right over it.
Pulling your lips back, squeezing them around him, until you reach his tip, you suck hard at it, swirling your tongue as your hand strokes up and down his thick shaft swiftly. He gives a strained gasp, quickly gritting his teeth as he hisses out breaths, and you moan against him.
“Cum in my mouth…” you murmur, gazing up at him. “... Cum down my throat…”
You suck at his tip again, swirling and swirling your tongue and─
He steps back, his cock leaving your mouth with a wet, unceremonious ‘pop’.
“What─”
He’s gripping the front of your robe again, hauling you up, and shoves you against the table once more.
“What did I say…” he half-pants, gripping the backs of your thighs and making you sit up on the table. “... about givin’ fuckin’ orders.”
Your heart pounds with excitement and a smile pulls at your lips as he shoves the two chairs either side of you away, sending them toppling to the floor.
“I can’t remember…” you breathe as he stands between your open legs, his wet, heavy cock pushing against your stomach. “... All I can think about is how much I want your cock inside me, Simon…”
He makes a sound akin to a growl, and then his gloved hand is between your breasts, pushing you down. Lying back on the table, you place your heels on the edge of it as he grips his cock, other hand gripping your knee.
“Say it again.”
“Want your cock in me…” you mewl, rolling your hips as you run your hands from your stomach up to your breasts, tugging at your nipples and drawing a soft moan from yourself. “... Want you deep inside me, want to cum on your cock…”
He’s staring at you, your eyes, your fingers, your tits. He’s at the edge of his control… but he’s also a bastard.
“Magic word.”
You exhale a short breath through your nose, rolling your nipples between your fingers. And then you lift a leg, settling your ankle on his shoulder.
“Come on, Simon…”
His hand slides from your knee, up your shin to your ankle, cupping it, and he turns his head to it.
And then he presses a soft kiss to the skin there, keeping his eyes on yours.
Oh, fuck you.
Inhaling a ragged breath, the word sounds like it’s almost punched out of you.
“Please.”
He smiles.
“Good girl.”
You’re moaning before you even feel his tip. When he sinks into you, your eyes fall shut and your head tips back… and it’s bliss.
“Fu-uck…” you breathe out, and you feel his grip tighten on your ankle.
“Fuckin’ hell…”
The groans he releases, so fucking low, so carnal, has you instantly starting to rock your hips, feeling his thick length slid so easily in and out of you, stretching you. Hissing out a breath, he suddenly grips your other leg and lifts it onto his shoulder, taking over and thrusting into you, already setting a hard and fast pace.
The table creaks beneath you with each snap of his hips, but you can barely hear it, all that’s left of your mind focusing on the pleasure that’s pulsing through you.
“How does that fuckin’ feel…” he grunts, hands locked on your shins.
You gasp out moans as you hold his gaze. “... So fucking good, you feel so… so fucking good…”
Shoving your legs off his shoulders, he leans down, settling his arms over your head, mouth hovering over yours.
“Again.”
“So good, so fucking good, so fucking good, fuck, Simon…”
You try to kiss him, lifting your chin an inch, but he moves his head away, instead ducking it to your neck and fixing his lips there.
And then you hear him take a long, deep inhale.
“Fuckin’ Christ…” he breathes.
He thought he’d smelt it earlier.
You smell of the basic, shitty, own-brand soap he keeps here, and it’s driving him fucking wild.
You smell of him.
He thinks of you gliding the bar around your body, soaping your tits up…
“Fuck…” he groans against your skin, spreading fast, sloppy kisses there, sinking his teeth in.
He chuckles darkly when you cry out, your slick walls clenching around his cock.
“Yeah, you fuckin’ like that, don’t you… Like when I mark up your pretty fuckin’ neck?”
He bites down again, revelling in how you instantly clench again, hard, a ragged moan torn from you. Pressing his lips to your ear, he rumbles, “I’ll be on you for days.”
Fucking hell…
Your hands gripping at his jacket, fisting and tugging, you cling to him as he bites and bites and bites, always covering each one straight after with a lick or a sloppy kiss. And he just keeps fucking you hard through it.
When he suddenly pulls back, you actually whine, hands falling from him.
It takes you a moment to realise what he’s saying.
“... Look at me… Look at me…”
Your eyes snap open, and he fucking loves the almost blankness he sees there, how cock-drunk you are.
Yeah, only he can do this for you. Only him.
“Come here…” He slides an arm under you and pulls you up so you’re sat on the table, his cock continuing to spear into you. The angle allows him to plunge deeper and your eyes almost roll back as they close.
“Nah, keep those pretty eyes open, and stay up, look at me as I fuck you open…”
Pulling his belt out of the loops with a snap, without breaking rhythm he wraps both ends around his hands, and then wraps the shortened length around the back of your neck, keeping you up.
Keeping you looking at him.
“This is why you’re here, isn’t it…” he murmurs, nearly panting. “... To be fucked and spread open by my thick cock, to cum on it over and over and over again…”
You’re gasping in your breaths, hands now gripping his forearms, nails digging in, his words probably circling round and round your empty mind.
“… Say it, love… Admit it…”
Your mouth is open, hurried little breaths and moans all that leaves it. “... I…”
“Go on… Say it… It’s why you’re here, isn’t it… Say it.”
“Y… Yes…” you gasp.
“Good girl.”
You clench hard around him.
He growls. “Yeah, that’s it… Squeeze my cock like a good fuckin’ girl…”
You clench again, releasing a ragged moan.
“You need to cum, don’t you, you need to cum on my fuckin’ cock.”
You can’t take your eyes off his. “Ye-es.”
“Beg me for it.”
You’re talking before he’s even finished, words breathless and moaned.
“Please, please, let me cum, wanna cum on your cock, please let me, please…”
He chuckles, the sound catching in his throat with a groan. “You think you fuckin’ deserve it, huh… Think you can break in here and ruin the quiet fuckin’ night I wanted…”
You don’t know how, but you smile, and manage, “Don’t tell me… you don’t prefer this…”
“Well, now I’ll never know.”
Using the belt, he yanks you closer and claims your lips in a fierce, bruising kiss. You give back as good as you can, but you soon falter as an orgasm starts to build and twist in your lower stomach, making your muscles clench.
And he can feel it.
“Go on,” he mumbles against your lips. “Cum for me, rub your little clit and cum on my cock, let me fuckin’ feel you, squeeze me, make me cum…”
The moment he had said it, your hand had flown between you, fumbling, finding your clit and rubbing swiftly as well as you could. You cry out as the pleasure rises and rises, hurtling closer, your hips bucking. 
He tears his lips from yours, pressing his cheek against the side of your head, murmuring into your ear, “Cum for me, fuckin’ do it, cum now, cum on my thick cock, let me feel you, love.”
Your orgasm erupts through you.
Body jerking, you release a strangled scream as you cum, nails digging through his jacket nearly to his skin. He fucks you through it, grunting nearly incoherently in your ear now as your pussy squeezes him so fucking deliciously.
“... Yeah… Good fuckin’ girl… Fuckin’... Good… Tight pussy… Squeeze me… Take it… Take it… Take my fuckin’ cum… Yeah… Yeah… Oh, fuck…”
He thrusts hard and deep once, twice more, and then he cums inside you with a guttural roar, his grip tightening on the belt. Weakened, blissful moans fall from your lips as you feel him fill you, your back arching.
So fucking good, every single fucking time.
When he stills, his hands fall down to the table, taking the belt with them.
Swallowing hard, in turn your forehead drops down onto his chest, and you close your eyes, just focusing on trying to slow your breathing.
Your hand has softened on his arm, your other gently against his thigh.
His chin rests atop your head.
Neither of you speak, for how long you don’t know, and you almost hope neither of you ever do.
Suddenly, enough to startle you a little, his head lifts.
“Suppose you won’t be polite and fuck off now.”
You exhale a laugh, rolling your shoulders as you lift your head, arching an eyebrow. You find his cloth mask is back in place.
“No, I was here first.”
He just grunts out a sound that might be a chuckle as he pulls out of you, making you inhale sharply. Pulling the robe up over your shoulders as he steps back, you slide off the table with a small groan, rolling your shoulders again. His gaze drops down to your thighs, lingers, then meets yours again, and you give him a slow smile.
“Is that my cum leakin’ out of you.”
“Yes it is, Simon.”
You note the way his shoulders drop as his back straightens. 
And he jerks his head towards the bedroom door.
“Get in there. I’m gunna shower off.”
You give him a faux-pout, your brow dipping as renewed lust surges through you. “You don’t want company?”
You know he doesn’t.
He’ll give you everything but his face. And you give him everything but your heart.
He closes the distance between you, lowering his head to you. “You just get on that bed and keep those legs spread for me.”
A corner of your mouth rises higher than the other as you gaze at him. “Don’t tell me what to do, Simon.”
Letting the robe slip from your body to the floor, you turn from him and step over a fallen chair and the radio, moving into the bedroom.
Watching you go, his jaw moves as he releases a long, slow breath.
Fuckin’ hell…
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Tagged: @sistasarah-sallysaidso, @gifsbysimplysonia, @ryethebrokengae, @poohkie90
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msnihilist · 1 month
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"I dont support it in real life!"
Then why write about it? If for coping purposes, why post it online for others (especially actual predators) to see and consume? Then why portray those things in a positive light instead of condemning them?And you're seriously going to tell me that just because as an adult you want to see a fictional minor (that mind you, is usually designed to resemble an actual child) depicted in sexual situations doesn't mean you don't share that same view concerning children in real life? You find fictional minors attractive but not real ones? Why does the line between finding someone who is (and usually also looks like) a child sexually attractive get drawn at whether the child is real or not? I'm not calling anyone pedophiles, but if the shoe fits... And also no, I am not talking about 18 y/os finding 17 y/os attractive. Use your brain. Creating content of underaged characters is still questionable regardless of age, however.
Then why write about it?
I like to write dark topics because they provide interesting avenues down which to explore characters/people. Duh. Why does one character survive to the end of a slasher movie? Because the audience/writer enjoys seeing someone struggle and overcome obstacles.
Sex is thematically used for intimacy and vulnerability. Aren't You Sick of Sleeping Alone? features a child character "consenting" to have sex with a drunk adult, because I thought putting the characters through something like this and seeing how they'd react the morning after would be interesting. Whisper Your Love is about a victim of CSEM struggling to find sexual liberation — and failing! The Need To Be Loved is about heartbreak and the inherent beauty/pain of vulnerability. all flowers (in time) bend towards the sun is about me self-projecting my struggles with intimacy onto my comfort characters.
These fics feature underage sex and non-con. Here are some of the reviews:
"The most emotional smut I've ever read" — all flowers
"I ended up crying a couple times because of how close it hit to home" — all flowers
"I read this until late at night, burning with delight, then went to bed, slept for 3 hours, woke up at 5 in the morning in an incredibly brutal desire to READ THIS AGAIN. and I did it. everything here is so good, sensual and simply charming to tears." — all flowers
"i think my heart was ripped out of my chest" — NTBL
"Just all of it is so so good, so well-written, so captivating, so clever, so detailed. I love how tragically realistic his trauma is." — WYL
"I'm terrified of the next chapter but super excited- the deep dive with morality you did was so fascinating and you can REALLY tell how much thought you put into this work." — AYSOSA
"God, this was an experience. Hard to read sometimes just from the fact how this acknowledges how sick and fucked up the situation is." — AYSOSA
This is not "something that I support in real life," you fucknut. This is art.
And you have the nerve to ask me why? Why did the Greeks tell tales of Sisyphus?
If for coping purposes, why post it online for others (especially actual predators) to see and consume?
I am not writing any of this for coping purposes.
I post it online for those who ARE coping to find, and for others like me who have an interest in pushing characters to their absolute limits. Why does the Saw franchise have so many fans?
I don't know how to tell you this, but as long as it doesn't involve REAL children, it is absolutely zero of your business what "actual predators" may or may not get off to. Whether it's my fics, a flat-chested actress in a school girl outfit, or fantasies in their own heads, all of that is doing zero tangible harm. No one is getting hurt. Why should I care?
Then why portray those things in a positive light instead of condemning them?
Please find me a single one of my fics where the underage sex is supposed to be romantic or is portrayed as a good thing. I'll even help you out — here is a link to all of my fics tagged with underage sex. Take your time, anon. Go ahead. I will wait.
I'll spoil it for you — there is none. You know how I know that? Because by the very act of tagging my fics — adding that big, red exclamation point! — I am saying, "WARNING, THERE ARE BAD THINGS IN THIS STORY."
As for why I "write them in a positive light," uh, because it's not real? It makes for an interesting story? I'm trying to get off?? The author doesn't owe you or anyone an explanation.
My characters aren't turning to the camera and saying, "Wow, all of this underage sex was a great idea and everyone should do it without care for any consequences!"
If someone reads my fic and comes away with the idea that underage sex is good, then I think that says more about them and their absolutely EMPTY head than it does about me. Media literacy and analysis is taught for all twelve years of your public education, anon.
And you're seriously going to tell me that just because as an adult you want to see a fictional minor (that mind you, is usually designed to resemble an actual child) depicted in sexual situations doesn't mean you don't share that same view concerning children in real life?
"usually designed to resemble an actual child," is so funny, haha. I'm currently rewatching Phineas and Ferb in my downtime — I don't think actual children have triangle or sideways-T shaped heads.
Unlike you, I have no problem distinguishing, say, Ciel Phantomhive (exceptionally intelligent, cunning, ruthless, vengeful murderer) from a real-life sixth-grader (kind of loud, mostly annoying, learning algebra, probably shouldn't have caffeine).
Child characters are tools. For the sake of the story, they are smarter than actual children, more capable, able to problem-solve and generate significant conflict, etc. Child characters can argue when they're angry and explain themselves when they cry (real children feel angry and sad, too, but generally lack the emotional awareness to explain why they feel this way, let alone in a healthy, relationship-defining way).
Child characters are functionally the same as adult characters, just smaller. You know why, anon? Because they are not real and only exist as a vessel through which to tell a story.
Jesus Christ, your English teacher must be ashamed of you.
You find fictional minors attractive but not real ones? Why does the line between finding someone who is (and usually also looks like) a child sexually attractive get drawn at whether the child is real or not?
I don't find "fictional minors" attractive, actually. I find characters attractive. Their age is negligible. My favorite characters are my favs for their personality and their themes. I loved Ben Tennyson, for example, when he was ten, and when he was sixteen, and I love him when I write him in his twenties, and thirties. Age is just another part of the story to tell. (I can write about a teenager struggling to make time for their new relationship, and I can write about that same character as a thirty-year-old doing taxes.) It doesn't mean anything more.
As for why other people do... Because humans like things that are aesthetically pleasing, and a large part of character design is making the character appealing to look at. It's literally the exact same reason why people like sunsets or pretty buildings or dog-grooming videos.
I'm not calling anyone pedophiles, but if the shoe fits…
Anon, if you call people pedophiles over drawings, I'm going to rip your IP address from this brain-dead ask, find you, and shove that shoe up your ass so far that you'll have to open your mouth to tie the laces.
And also no, I am not talking about 18 y/os finding 17 y/os attractive. Use your brain.
I am using my brain. Are you?
Creating content of underaged characters is still questionable regardless of age, however.
No, it's not. Get over yourself and find a real problem to care about. There are wars going on in the world, anon. People are dying.
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withalittlehoney · 10 months
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Then There Was You 37: I’m The Birthday Boy
Pairing: Neurosurgeon!Strange x Fem!Nurse!OC
Snippet: “Mm… does the birthday boy really get whatever he wants?”
“Out of my wallet.” You repeat more firmly, though unable to hide your smile at the suggestion, “Behave, Stephen Strange.”
Warnings: Explicit language, sexual themes, needles, kinda fluff n’ stuff though.
Word count: 11,371
Reading time: ≈ 41 mins.
Chapter 37/41
A/N: XL chapter, I’m so sorry 😭 Heads up, next one will be the same. For now— just a cute, fun, flirty time for the birthday boy. Where would you want Stephen to put his name? And where would you put his? If you want to be tagged in updates say so in the comments! Happy reading <3
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“Well, you look perfectly lovely this morning, Augustine.” Doctor Kohl compliments, looking you over in the mirrors reflection in the guest bathroom
“I don’t know why I even bother putting on mascara when I very well may cry it off.” You roll your eyes at yourself, “But thank you. That’s very sweet.”
“He’ll appreciate the effort.”
“Mm.”
“Have you really forgiven him for what he said?”
“Yes. That doesn’t mean I wish he hadn’t said it in the first place—“
“Why did he say it in the first place?”
You shrug, “Bruised his ego thinking there was someone else I slept with, I guess.”
Basson pauses for a moment before suggesting, “I think it was less his ego and more his jealousy.”
“Kohl…” You sigh, pausing the work of your mascara wand, “Please, don’t.”
“I am simply offering more reasonable suggestions.”
“That is not more reasonable than him protecting his ego.”
“We’ll agree to disagree.” He looks at you softly in the mirror, “I told you— you would have to force him to be held. You did not listen.”
“I’m not trying to hold him.”
“But you do like him?”
“I have had this same conversation with about four different people at this point.” You sigh
“And why do they all get to know when he doesn’t?”
You pop the wand back in your mascara tube and throw it back in your makeup bag, digging around for a lipgloss. You apply a thin layer to your lips and put it back in its home as well, sweeping out of the bathroom and into the guest room, rummaging around your overnight bag for the jacket you’re almost certain you brought…
“The girl?” He presses on
“The girl.”
“I do not think his reaction would be as harsh as you anticipate—“
“Well I do.” You huff, “And there’s no point in losing myself to daydreams—“
“I think it’s about time you both indulged yourself.”
“That what you think, Old Man?”
Kohl chuckles and pulls the ponytail holder from your hair, “Leave it down for breakfast. He will prefer it this way.” His eyes find yours in the full length mirror you stand in front of observing yourself and he tuts at you, “No crying, Darling. There’s no time for that.”
“It’s all I can do recently.” You give a dry laugh, looking to the ceiling and dabbing at the tears threatening to smudge your freshly applied mascara, “Can’t win for losin’ s’all. It’ll get better. I just… need to make it to the new year.”
“And you will.” Basson reassures you. “I know you’ve had a bad time recently— and even that might be an understatement. But it will get better. This is just how life goes. It will be good often and bad just as much. But it depends on which you choose to focus on that will determine the weight of each.”
“Yes, Master Yoda.”
“I enjoy him. I think we look very similar.”
You laugh at this, “Identical, really.”
“It’s a few minutes past ten. Should you not be downstairs?”
You give a soft smile, “He’s used to waiting.”
“Still, it is his birthday. You should not keep him there. Especially when he is so excited to see you again.”
“You don’t know that he is.”
“Yes I do.” He insists, helping slip your cropped denim jacket on over your shoulders, “Now take my arm. I won’t have you breaking your ankle in those boots on my watch.”
“Easier to walk in than those death traps you had me in last night.”
“But they looked so nice on you.”
“It was a very sweet gift. They matched perfectly.” 
“Well, I couldn’t have my date looking discombobulated.”
“It isn’t discombobulation… it’s a different sort of fashion you’re too old to understand.”
“Is that so?”
You smile up at him laughing and laugh back, “Yes. It is.”
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Stephen watched the door as he was used to do. Only this time, the large glass doors out front made it easy for him to know when to look away so he didn’t appear too eager. Doctor Basson carried one bag on his arm, a garment bag thrown over his shoulder, a shoe box in one hand, and you on his other arm. You spoke to each other easily it seemed. Stephen met you at the steps and immediately took the shoes and you from Basson’s arm. You were wearing tight black flared jeans, a graphic tee with and ACDC logo on it, a denim jacket, and your dick stompers. Your hair looked nice from the night before still— you’d undoubtedly forgone washing it to preserve it. You hated washing your hair. He didn’t mind since it meant you left it down. He always liked when your hair was down, he so rarely got to see it that way.
“Good morning and happy birthday, Doctor Strange.” Kohl greeted as he hauled your bag and dress into the back of the Huracán, “How many years until you catch up with me.”
“Enough.” Stephen replied with a smile, “And thank you.”
“He’s turning thirty-five.” You announce, “I’m surrounded by old men.”
“That does seem to be your type.” Stephen teases
“A curse.”
“A blessing.” Doctor Basson insists, “The ones under thirty never know how to treat a woman… and the ones who do are still too shiny for you, Darling.”
“You think you know me so well, don’t you?” You glare up at him through your lashes, trying to look intimidating and likely failing given the height difference
“I know I do.” He winks at you and places a kiss on your cheek, “Have a good day you two.” Basson shakes Stephen’s hand and adds, “It’s a shame I’ll never get to see her present to you. I think it will be divine.”
Stephen knits his brows together and scoffs, “Does everyone know what it is but me?”
“You already know.” You smile shyly, “You just don’t know you know.”
“You’ll enjoy it… I would have.” Basson teases and you giggle, rolling your eyes at the older man, “Now go. Augustine, I’ll let you know if I hear anything from Miriam.”
Stephen sees your smile falter a bit but you give a nod. Stephen helps you into the car and shuts the door gently before turning to Basson.
He hesitates for a moment before simply stating, “Nothing is too expensive.”
“No.” He agrees, “It’s not.”
“But neither of us said so.”
“No.”
“Good.”
And with that Stephen walked to the drivers’ side of the car and hopped in. You were already messing with the radio and readjusting your seat like the car was yours.
“Uhm, excuse you. Birthday boy gets to pick the music.” Stephen objects, immediately replacing Reputation with Bob Seger’s Beautiful Loser
“It was sweet of him to name this album after you.”
Stephen laughs, “Real nice.”
You beam up at him and pull the shades down over your eyes, “Thought so. Address is already in the maps. Let’s go.”
“Bossy this morning.”
“No, we’re on a schedule.”
“And that’s why you were ten minutes late?”
“Keeping you on your toes, Strange, keeping you on your toes.” You pause a moment before giving a, “Happy birthday, Steph.”
“Thanks, Auggie.” He clears his throat and asks, “Have a good night?”
“Had sex for hours—“
“Okay…”
“Got great stamina for an old guy.”
“You’re a liar.”
“I know, I’m sorry, you just put it right in my face—“
“That’s what she said.”
“Please!” You laugh, hitting him in the chest
Stephen smiles over at you, “How was your sexless night?”
“Good. Have a lot of stuff to go over with my mom… as soon as she thinks I’m supposed to know.”
“Have you considered she won’t tell you at all?”
“No. She won’t do that.” You knit your brows together, “Hope not.”
“Dad didn’t tell Donna when he started to lose it.” Stephen shrugs, “She figured it out on her own.”
“Yeah, but people with dementia and Alzheimer’s don’t recognize there’s something wrong most of the time. This is different.”
“I suppose you’re right on that front.”
“I’m right on most fronts, most of the time.”
“Cocky.”
“Been spending far too much time with you.”
“We haven’t seen each other in a week…”
“And you’ve still turned me into an abhorrent bitch.”
“Oh, that was my doing?”
“Well… I think she’s been there all along, you just really bring out the worst of her.”
Stephen places a hand over his heart, “You say such sweet things.”
“Only the sweetest for the birthday boy… and speaking of which. Please do not make me argue with you about paying today. The birthday boy doesn’t pay for anything. And I’ve already paid for your surprise, so don’t even try it.”
“The birthday boy should be allowed to spend his money however he wants.”
“Yes, well he can wait and do that tomorrow. Post-birthday spending. Today, the birthday boy gets whatever he wants out of my wallet.”
“Mm… does the birthday boy really get whatever he wants?”
“Out of my wallet.” You repeat more firmly, though unable to hide your smile at the suggestion, “Behave, Stephen Strange.”
“Well, where’s the fun in that?”
“Because perhaps if you do behave, I’ll reveal I have more than one surprise for you today.”
You watched as Stephen’s face lit up, his hands squeezing at the wheel just a bit tighter. You give a giggle and look back up at the ceiling of the car, closing your eyes, a smile on your face. God— he was such a cutie.
“Best behavior activated.” He agrees
“Good boy.”
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Breakfast was nice… a little overcrowded but he didn’t expect much different for a Sunday afternoon. And with the reservation scheduled there was only a bit of a wait. You’d sat next to him, your head on his shoulder, humming softly to the songs coming through the restaurants’ speakers, swinging your legs back and forth on the bench. You caught him trying to answer work-related emails several times and eventually put his phone in the phone prison that was your bra.
“As if that’s at all a dissuasion.” He muttered
“There are two kids across from us, behave.”
“Dammit.”
You ordered strawberry french toast and Stephen got a stack of chocolate-chocolate chip pancakes covered in whipped cream. You told him he couldn’t order any alcoholic brunch concoctions, which he pouted about, but you promised there was a reason. His eyes lit up when his pancakes were placed in front of him, and he immediately softened when he saw that you’d requested they put a candle right in the center. Just one, and no singing or fuss from the staff, which he was very grateful for.
“Gotta make a wish.” You say, leaning forward and propping your chin on your hands, eyes sparkling as you watch him
“Hmm…” Stephen considers, “I wish—“
“No! You can’t say it out loud or it won’t come true!” You object, “Just think it. The birthday gods know your intentions.”
Stephen chuckles and closes his eyes shut real tight thinking, ‘I wish we could have the perfect day.’ And then blew out the candle very gently
You give a little giggle and steal it from the top of the pancakes, getting a taste of the whipped cream, “Did you make a reasonable wish?”
“I think so… simple enough.”
“Good.” You started a bit when your chest vibrated with a phone call from Stephen’s phone, making him laugh as you looked at the caller ID and answered, “Donna!”
“You’re not the birthday boy!” 
“Yeah!” Stephen agrees for the hell of it, pouting while shoving another way too-large bite of pancakes in his mouth and reminding you, “I’m the birthday boy!”
You give a fake pout, “Nice to hear from you too.”
“Oh, stop it. You act like we didn’t talk yesterday.”
“When did you talk yesterday?” Stephen asked, dumbfounded
“We talk all the time, shh.” You say to a very confused-looking Stephen before returning your attention to Donna, “Whatcha’ doin?”
“Well, I just woke up and was trying to call my big brother to tell him happy birthday…”
“You gonna tell him about your date tonight?”
“Auggie!” Donna gasps
“What date?”
You cackled, shoving the phone into Stephen’s hands and continuing on with your french toast as Stephen asked, “You have a date?”
“Can I at least say happy birthday first?” Donna sighs
“Sure.”
“Happy birthday, you old man, you!”
“Thank you.” Stephen paused exactly one second before asking, “You have a date?”
“I hate her.”
“She’s evil.” Stephen agrees, making you pout at him as you pick up a strawberry from your plate, “Who’s the date?”
“Your mom.”
“Is dead… and your mom as well, so double ineffective.”
“A guy I met the other day—“
“Where?”
Donna huffs, “If you’d let me talk, I’d tell you!” Stephen rolls his lips together and stays silent, “At the mall when I was looking for your birthday present.”
“I don’t want a birthday present.”
“Good because you’re not freaking getting one.” Donna grouches, “What the hell are you supposed to buy a guy who buys himself everything he wants?”
“Why didn’t you get him what I told you to?” You call out
“Tell her I love you, but not that much.” Donna laughs, “We don’t all make the money they pay you at the hospital.”
You shrug and tell Stephen, “It was a good idea.”
“What was it?” He asks curiously
“Can’t tell you, I’ll save it for another time.” You decide
“God, can’t you tell me anything today?”
Donna snickers through the line, “She still hasn’t told you what she got you?”
“No— wait! Do you know too!” Stephen looks at you with complete disdain and whines, “Why does everyone know but me?”
“Because I got part of it from her. Couldn’t get it from Billy without him having to dig too deep—“
“Oh! I had to dig! You think I just had that laying around at the house?”
“But you found it, didn’t you?” You smile, “While we were busy fighting, she was hard at work.”
“You were fighting?” Donna asks, “About what?”
“I’d rather not rehash it, it’s my birthday. You can call and ask some other time since you two apparently speak so often.”
“It doesn’t bother you, does it?” You ask wearily, shrinking back into the booth, “I didn’t mean—“
“He’s all bark, Auggie. Just tell him to shut up and be grateful I’m delightful enough to keep him around via relation.” Donna teases
“She was my friend first.” Stephen says defensively to Donna before looking at you and reassuring, “No, it doesn’t bother me. Just learning a lot about the people you keep in contact with the last twenty-four hours.”
“Speaking of— has she heard from Kelley recently?”
“You live thousands of miles away and have another date tonight, Don. Give it up.” Stephen huffs
“Don’t!” You object, “But no, I haven’t. It’s been very, very busy down there. They’re erecting a new barn for equipment storage and something went wrong with the contractors—“ You wave a hand, “Whatever, I’ll tell him you asked about him.”
“Thank you!” You can practically hear Donna’s smile over the phone
“You’re an enabler.” Stephen scolds
You shrug, “At least my pick is better than the guy she set me up with.”
“True.”
“I have said I am sorry a hundred times— I didn’t know he was crazy! You didn’t know he was crazy!”
“Donna, can I go so we can finish breakfast?” Stephen sighs, not particularly wanting to rehash that mess either
Stephen could practically see the smirk on her face as she asked, “Is it just you two this morning, Big Brother?”
Stephen, as subtly as possible turned down the volume so you could no longer hear her and replied, “Yes…”
“Cute little birthday breakfast date?”
“It’s not—“ You watch Stephen huff and shove another bite of pancakes in his mouth so his response is unclear as he says, “Sure, if that’s what you wanna’ call it.”
“Is that what you want to call it?”
“Donna.”
“Is that what she wants to call it?”
“I love you, goodbye.”
“Wait!”
“Good. Bye.”
“I love you t—“ Stephen chuckled to himself as he hung up halfway through her declaration
Stephen extended the phone back toward you and you gave a little smile, taking it and restoring its place in your bra. Stephen practically drank the syrup from his plate and stopped immediately upon seeing the disapproving look on your face.
“You want me to see if they can put that in a to-go cup for you?” You ask dryly
“You think they would?”
“Gross.”
“So… where are we going next?” Stephen prompted, his heart fluttering as you reached out and wiped syrup from the corner of his mouth— even though you had a look of complete disgust on your face as you did it— he thought it was a sweet gesture
You beam at him, “You’ll see when we get there!”
“I’m slightly terrified…” He pauses and asks, “How’d you know to plan it if we were fighting?”
You shrug, “I’d had this planned for a few weeks… I’d have just canceled.”
“Cancelled? Something you can cancel, huh?”
“Stop! Don’t think about it too hard, you’ll ruin it!” You whine
“Alright, alright.” Stephen says, “But we need to go if we’re supposed to be there at one.”
You nod in agreement, standing from the booth and offering him your hand. Stephen seemed to hesitate a moment and you immediately retracted it, fearing you’d overstepped a boundary. For his part— he’d just been shocked by how natural the action had seemed for you, shocked by how he’d almost immediately responded without a second thought. He slid to the side of the booth and held both hands out to you.
“You were right. I’m getting awfully old… need help standing from all the way down here.” You gave him a sweet smile and took both of his hands, pretending to put maximum effort into lifting him. Stephen gave a fake groan and a little stumble as he stood, crashing into you and wrapping his arms around your shoulders claiming, “Sorry… hard to find your balance when you’re this old.”
You giggled and let him keep his arm around you as you exited the restaurant, both of you all smiles and laughter in each other’s company. Which the cameras hiding around the building and the parking lot could have caught from miles away… but they were right there, seeing the two of you perfectly in frame, hand in hand, looking like a pair of lovesick fools.
Stephen Strange had a very recognizable car.
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Stephen sat in the car laughing his ass off at the building in front of him.
“You’re really gonna do it?” He said through a fit of laughter
“Yes! And so are you! This was a two-way deal, remember?”
You’d never seen Stephen smile so wide in all the time you’d spent together. The man was practically giddy with anticipation. He might as well have been bouncing up and down in his seat. You couldn’t stop giggling at the expression of pure joy on his face. He was like a kid in a candy shop.
“I already have both designs set, you just have to choose where you want mine to go, and I have two ideas for where I want yours.”
“Not on my dick.” He says very seriously, but even then he can’t help the goofy grin on his face
“I’m not tattooing your dick, Stephen!”
“Is there anywhere I’m not allowed to put it?”
“Let’s go in and you can see them both before you decide.”
“I already know where I want yours!”
“You need to calm down.” You say through a laugh, “Chill out, you’re gonna scare the tattoo artist.”
“What’s his name?”
“Her name is Daniella.” You pause and say, “She’s very hot, so please don’t stare too hard.”
Stephen snorts, “I’ll do my best.”
“Thank you.” 
You pull your bag out from the back and trade your jeans for one of your tennis skirts. So comfy, so cute. Stephen watches the changing process intently until you throw his own sweat shorts at him from the back. You leave him in the car to do his changing, walking into the tattoo shop and giving a little wave to the guy at the front.
“Hey, Hon! Who’re you scheduled with today?”
“Daniella.” You say, “It’s actually me and…”
“Me.” Stephen says, seeming to materialize behind you, a wide smile on his face
“Are you the two name tattoos?” He asks, with a glance to both of you
“I know that it’s usually seen as a dumb choice, but I have to say, that is why we’re doing it in the first place.”
“Lost a bet?”
“Something like that.” Stephen agrees
“Alright. You two follow me, Dani is in the back, I’ll go grab her for you.”
The man had you and Stephen sit, you on the table and Stephen in a chair next to it. Stephen noticed every time one of the guns would whir to life and you’d whip your head toward the sound. Stephen chuckled and you gave him an awkward smile.
“You’ll be alright, Auggie.” He reassures but then can’t resist teasing, “You can hold my hand if you want.”
“I’ll bite you.” You grouch
“Kinky.” Stephen wiggles his eyebrows and snaps his teeth at you
“Oh— this one is fun, isn’t he?” A feminine voice joins the conversation behind you and you turn to find your tattoo artist beaming at you
You swallow and disagree, “Actually, the biggest pain in the ass I’ve ever met.”
Dani was built like an Amazonian warrior. Nearly six foot tall, visibly shredded, tattoos covering every inch of her chocolate skin, and long, bright red braids flowing down her back. You stood and offered your hand and Stephen quirked a little smile. You were literally exact opposites of one another— and he found himself amazed once more by the beauty of the female figure in so many different forms. He also notices the way Dani looks you over, her gaze not so subtly lingering on you as she turns to Stephen as well.
“And you still want his name on your body permanently?” She asks, shaking Stephen’s hand as well
“Unfortunately.”
“Yes.” Stephen agreed, “Please don’t dissuade her, I need this.”
“I always love a man desperate to impress his girl.” Danielle smiles, rewashing her hands in the sink available in the little private compartment
Neither you or Stephen moved to object, though neither one of you felt exactly right letting the sentiment remain in the air. You didn’t want to prevent him from flirting if he felt like it— and he didn’t want you to feel like the idea was at all an offense to his sensibilities.
“Well…” You offer, “He does like to impress.”
Dani turns and smiles back at you, “They always do.”
“Who’s that?”
“The ones with women out of their league.”
Absolutely shocked by the statement, you can do little more than laugh. Stephen was pleased to hear you laughing so heartily, even if it was at his expense. 
“Oh… I don’t think—” You try to manage out
“The thicker ones never think they’re out of anyone’s league. You all are.” Daniella rolls her eyes, sliding a little table over her way and plopping down into her rolling chair, “Takes a special someone to handle all that love.” You blush furiously and look to the floor, swinging your legs back and forth lightly as Dani rolls over next to Stephen, “So here’s the final. Fit it into a two-by-two. I think it’s the best size for this particular font… it’ll be easier to read, and—“
“Is that my handwriting?” Stephen asks, dumbfounded and buzzing with excitement, “That’s my signature!”
Stephen’s name; first, middle, and last sat slightly stacked on top of each other, two little hand-drawn hearts on either side of the signature. 
“I told you I needed Donna’s help.” You shrug, a gentle smile pulling at your lips
Stephen chuckles, “Smart girl.”
Dani smiles at you, “You really didn’t tell him anything about it, did you?”
“Nope.”
“How’re you feeling about it?” She checks
“It’s great.” Stephen laughs, “Never thought she’d actually make good on it when I suggested it.”
“Well, the big question is where you wanna put it. She said it can go anywhere, as long as it can be covered by her work uniform and most casual clothes.”
“And it can show a little bit through that too. Like if I were wearing a crop top and you saw a bit of it, I wouldn’t mind that.” You add
“And you’re okay with her seeing whatever she has to, to get to it?”
“That’s why I booked a woman, Stephen.”
“Face down, Doll.” Stephen pats the table
Dani snorts and teases, “Is she always this well-behaved?” As you immediately turn over, resting your cheek against your hands
You flush bright red and Stephen disagrees, “No. But she’s very good at apologizing—“
“Stephen Strange!” You scold, resulting only in his laughter
Stephen walks behind you, his hands coming to either side of your hips and grabbing lightly.
“Right there.” Stephen taps the space somewhat between your hip and ass on your right side, “Maybe a little lower…”
“You mind if I touch you, Augustine?” Dani asks, seriously
“No ma’am…”
“She is well-mannered.” Dani winks at Stephen who bites into his lower lip to hide a laugh as she runs her thumb over the area gently, “If you want it closer to her ass, it’d be better to move it inward a bit— warping reasons. But if you want to keep it higher up toward her hip it can stay on the outside.”
“Which one will hurt less?” Stephen asks
“Mm… hard to say, really. For her it’ll probably be gentler more toward the outside because she has more cushion on her hips. Closer we get to the spine, the more she’ll really feel it.”
“Do it closer to the hip then.” Stephen says, still more or less centered—“
“Good call.”
“Will I—“ You clear your throat, “My stretch marks…”
“Cupcake, don’t you worry about that.” Dani says, “That ain’t no problem. And this placement is very cute. He’ll enjoy it at least.”
You smile up at her, “Well, it is about him today.”
“What other reason would a pretty girl like you be ruining all this beautiful, clear skin for?” Dani teases, “You know it’s addictive, right? You’ll get this one and you’ll want a hundred more.”
“That so?” Stephen asks
“Cupcake already has your second planned out. She was too afraid to use it today, but it’s awful cute, Mr. Strange.” Dani reveals
“Danielle, shush!” You scold, your cheeks turning pink
Before Stephen can ask for elaboration on that topic Dani instructs, “Go ahead and take a seat for me, Stephen. Come sit up here in front of her so she can talk to you. She told me she’s nervous. She’ll need a distraction. Augustine, we’re still doing the ink color we discussed last?”
“Yes, ma’am.” You agree, “The darker shade though. Suits him better, I think.”
“I think you’re right.” Dani watches as Stephen hauls the chair to your side and sits down, smiling at you softly, “I’m gonna go ahead and do the placement. Stephen, I’ll get you to check it and if you like it, we’ll get started, cool?”
“Yep.” Stephen agrees, as you just nod, your fingers twitching beneath your chin. He reassures, “You’re gonna be good, Auggie. The stitches didn’t even hurt, remember?”
“No, it’s been too long.” You lie
“Okay, how about this— don’t be a wuss.”
You sneer, “Shut up.” Before adding, “I am not regretting that both the places I have in mind for you hurt like a bitch right now.”
Stephen scoffs, “C’mon, play nice.”
“I can’t. All the hot tattoo placements for men are on sensitive areas… and you’re toned, that’s not my fault.”
“She actually said your thigh at first, which can be pretty hot, but I talked her into the other two when the tattoo got smaller.” Dani smiles at him evilly
“Oh, so you’re the actual problem, got it.”
“And remember who’s about to have the needle your skin.” She warns, flashing her canines, which Stephen notices have little rhinestones on them… interesting. Auggie gives a little whimper and Dani shushes her, “Not you, Cupcake. Just your lil’ shithead boyfriend.”
This makes Auggie smile a bit, looking up to Stephen and defending, “He is a shithead, but he’s not all bad.”
“Stephen, does this placement look good to you?”
Stephen stands and moves behind you, very excited by the purple print of his name on your body. He nods his approval and sits back down carefully. Smiling at the way you worry your bottom lip between your teeth. He reaches over and pulls it out and you pout up at him. He gives a little chuckle and pushes the hair out of your eyes gently, resting his thumb on your temple and pressing down. Your eyes flutter closed and you give a content little hum. 
“You think you can sleep through it?” Stephen teases
“Um— something tells me no. Although… I wonder. If I were already asleep…”
“Too bad you’re not.” 
“It won’t be that bad, Cupcake. Gonna sting for a while, but this one’ll be quick. You ready?” 
You squeeze your eyes shut and bury your face in your arms as you agree, “Yes, ma’am.”
You reached one hand out and made a grab for Stephen’s pulling it into the cave where you were hiding your face as well. He just chuckles and scoots his chair closer, resting his other hand on your back and rubbing gently. You give a little squeak when the needle first makes contact with your skin, biting into your finger. Stephen feels your back go tense. 
“How’s that?” Dani checks
“Feels about like a tattoo, I guess.” You mumble
Stephen chuckles, “Is it bad?”
“Not so sure yet… not great.”
“You give me fifteen minutes, Augustine. It’ll be over quick.” She promises, “You just do whatever you need to. Talk to him, take your nap, hum… whatever you need to do.”
“Why don’t you tell me about this mysterious other tattoo that was scrapped?” Stephen asks curiously
“Oh…” You give something between a smile and a wince as the needle touches down on skin once more, “It would’ve been too much for a first tattoo. That was actually the one Christine helped me with. Well, she knows I’m doing this one now instead, but… she helped with the first idea.”
“And what was it?”
You turn your head and look up at him, “I’ll show you later…”
“Oh, I bet the real thing is even better.” Dani giggles
“I meant the reference... Dani, behave!”
“I’m sorry— I’m just tryin’ to get on his nerves.”
“Won’t work in this case, I’m afraid.” Stephen explains, “If you were a guy…”
“Jealous pot.” You scold him
“I think I did my time watching you with other men last night, thank you.” Stephen grouches, “Our tattoo artist all up on your ass and flirting with you like she is would have done me in.”
“He gets so protective over my ass.” You sigh, “If only he cared about the rest of me the same.” You tease Stephen, glancing up at him, your cheek smooshed against your hand looking awfully adorable, “I am sorry about the debacle last night… it got your attention though.”
“Yes… it did.” Stephen admits, “And thank you again for speaking to Mr. Stark.”
“Oh, you’re welcome… didn’t want to ruin your night completely, Steph.”
“It turned out to be a pretty good night.”
“What did you do when you got home?”
“Had a drink, showered…” Thought about you, “crashed.” Stephen shrugs, “Slept better than I have been though. What did you and Doctor Basson do?”
“We just went over a bunch of very dim statistics and he told me what the process had been like for Laura…” You give a soft smile, “He showed me a bunch of photos from when they were younger, their wedding photos…” You give a bit of a giggle, “Their wedding was ridiculous. The ceremony was in this gigantic cathedral, her train was like twenty feet long, they each had twelve people in their wedding party— it looked insane.”
Stephen chuckles, “I remember seeing photos of it at some point or another. Laura was a big fan of dramatics as far as I remember it.” Stephen considers a moment before asking, “Wouldn’t you want a big wedding?”
“God, no.” You groan, “I’d settle for a courthouse at this rate...” You sigh, “Honestly, save for the dress, I don’t really care. I’d leave it up to my fiancé whether we do more or less. I don’t want to get married in a church… and I don’t have a particularly large group of people I feel needs to be there. But if my fiancé had a big family or tons of friends he wanted there, I wouldn’t mind so much.” You lift your gaze to him, “What about you? Still always the groomsman, never the groom?”
“I’ve never been a groomsman.” Stephen says, “What friend would I have had to have been a groomsman?”
“Fair point.”
“But… I don’t know. I’ve actually been thinking about it a lot with therapy and everything.” Stephen clears his throat and shifts a bit in his seat, “Not so sure about marriage still, but well…” His cheeks flush pink and he shrugs, “Just been thinking.”
“Ooo…” You wiggle your eyebrows at him, “Anyone—“
“No.” Stephen objects quickly, “I just… it actually started a while ago. What you told me about… something along the lines of just because you can carry your own weight doesn’t mean you should have to do it alone.”
You quirk a sideways smile, your eyes going soft as you murmur, “What Daddy used to tell Mama when she was being stubborn. Me too… but I remember it being said to her more often. She likes to refuse help.” Stephen’s heart gives a painful twist knowing what you both know your mother is currently refusing, “It rubbed off on me… I don’t mind asking for help so much anymore. Not when it’s work-related, at least. Personal life… eh.” You give a little hiss as Dani hits a particularly sensitive spot and she apologizes, but continues on dutifully, “But anyways… I’m happy it made you stop and think about it. It would be a shame for a man like you to go to waste.”
Stephen gives a bit of a huff, “What am I?” Your brows knit together so he rephrases, “You say ‘a man like me,’ but what is that? You and Nic and Christine all seem to see something—“
You squeeze his hand gently and simply say, “You’re good people. Yeah, you’re an asshole sometimes, you know how to get on my last nerve, you think more with your head than your heart… but you do care. You love people in your own distant way. You know how to make the people you like smile, you know how to comfort someone when they need it, you know a bunch of the little stuff other people would normally forget… you’re sweet, Stephen. Nic was right—“
“That’s my least favorite way you’ve ever started a sentence.”
You give him a little glare but just shake your head, “You think you’re this big, bad monster— you aren’t. You never have been. You’re a big old softy who hates the idea of anyone getting close enough to see it.” You insist, “But people like it when they see that. I liked it when I saw that.” 
Stephen is acutely aware of your thumb running over his knuckles, his hand still hidden in the cave between your arms and head. It’s not exactly comfortable, but he can’t find it in himself to care. He glances up at Daniella who seems thoroughly absorbed in her tattooing, though suddenly conscious of her presence for the very introspective conversation. But it seems to be helping you. You don’t seem quite so nervous, your grip on his hand not quite as harsh.
He swallows hard and pretending it’s only the two of you in the little cubicle area asks, “When did you first see it?”
“The softer side?”
“Mhm.”
You nuzzle your nose into his palm, your breath fanning over his hand and causing goosebumps to spread over his arm. He couldn’t actually say if it was your breath or the way your lips brushed over the skin on his wrist that caused the prickling of his skin, he just hoped you didn’t notice. 
“The first gala— the one for your paper. The end of the night when we were waiting on the elevator and you gave me the bouquet of daisies.” He feels you smile, “That was the first time… but there have been plenty of instances after the fact.”
“Tell me about them.”
“No.” You pout up at him, “They’re for me, not you.”
Stephen smiles back down at you, “Selfish with our memories, huh?”
“Mhm.”
“That’s alright. You—“ 
Stephen paused when he saw an odd flash of light go off in his peripheral. His head whipped toward the doorway to find two guys leaning against the glass, leaning into one another. Both wearing hoods pulled over their heads despite the warmer temperatures for the day. One of them also had a strap over his shoulder… maybe a satchel bag. Or a camera bag.
“Fuck.” He muttered to himself
“That is not a great thing to say when someone has a needle on my skin, Stephen.”
“No, no, you’re fine. We’ve just got some friends outside it seems.” Stephen took his hand from your own and slid out of his chair onto the floor, “Papz.”
“Oh, great.” You murmur, “I told you they could be following you and you’d never know.” 
“Yeah, yeah…”
Dani momentarily paused her work, turning to peek over the cubicle wall and out front of the tattoo parlor’s windows before calling, “George!”
“Yes, Dani?”
“Loiters outside the windows. Fix it!” She paused for a second before adding, “And pull down the shades.”
“Alright.”
Dani turned back around and gave Stephen an odd look, “What are you to have paparazzi on your trail?”
“Nothing, really. It must be a slow day.” Stephen muses
“Nope.” You argue, sighing as the needle touches your skin once more, “They want more after last night. You were caught bringing your ex to an event at the same time the woman people still consider your newest piece was seen on the red carpet with your biggest competition. Your ex and your current piece seem to be good friends, you and Doctor Basson don’t seem to get along— which is wholly your own fault, by the way, and we really need to work on building that relationship. After the carpet, several photos were taken of me with Tony—“
“You’re saying they’re here for you?”
“They’re here for both of us. They want to see whose bed I ended up in last night.” Augustine scoffs, “Guess if I get to choose I’d rather it be you or Kohl.”
Stephen rolls his eyes and leans back on his arms, “Real flattering, Honey.” 
“Your stupid ass car. That’s how they found us.”
“Excuse you?”
“I’m just saying, they’d’ve never tracked Daisy like this.”
“No. Why would they track that rust bucket?”
“I need you to fix your tone.”
“There are people tracking us outside.” Stephen huffs, “We’re in a tattoo shop together. How the hell is that gonna look?”
“It isn’t gonna look like anything because I am going to leave some back way, and if Dani would be so kind, she will walk with you out to your car, see you off, and I will meet you back at your place with a cab.”
“You are not paying the cab fare from here back to the upper—“
“It’s fine.” Stephen rolls his lips together in thought and you press, ���Please offer a reasonable explanation outside of a personal relationship for being in a tattoo shop together. Because if HR catches wind of it… they’ll wanna know.”
“But aren’t you already together?” Dani asks
“No.” You both say
“You’re not even dating and you’re—”
“Yes, sorry. I know this is like… one of the seven deadly tattoo sins, but we kinda had a bet. Too late to stop now, anyways.”
“Jesus.” Dani grunts, “This is some stupid shit, you know that?”
“Yep.”
She pauses a moment and gives a little laugh, “And you were going to go with the pin-up until the last second.” Dani chuckles, “Evil woman. Your face on his leg the whole time he’s trying to find—“
“Pinup?” Stephen beams up at you, internally begging that the reference you’d earlier spoken of had been used for exactly that purpose
He watches you blush a violent shade of red as you scold, “Dani!”
“Oop… sorry, Cupcake.” Dani gives you a sly smile, and then to seemingly avoid your next reprimand or the conversation about to ensue, produces her earbuds from her pockets, slips them in and sets back to work with a grin on her face
“Yes…” You admit, “But it was too big and it’d have been a really long session to be your first. But that is what Dani specializes in. She drew up the two different ideas I had—“
“I wanna see them!” Stephen exclaims, “Let me see!”
“Stephen…” You whine
“No, c’mon! I deserve to see. I wanna see! It’s my birthday!” 
“A literal child.” You mumble, contemplating in silence for a while before saying, “Phone in my purse, they’re in an email from Dani… shops name is the address.”
“There’s more than one?” Stephen asks, bouncing up and down for the second time today with pure joy
“She had two different poses she liked and two different outfits.” Danielle explains, her ability to hear all of a sudden back, “All four of the concepts are awfully cute. I was bummed when she backed out on me.”
“I’m sorry.” You groan, “It was just too much—“
Stephen phased out of listening because he was now totally enrapt in the draw-ups of both versions of pin-up you. They were in a realistic style and that made it all the better… you looked straight out of a wartime ad from Captain America’s day. The first pose was a side view of you face down, ass up, Your legs and arms crossed all pretty, your cheek resting on your arm as you bit into your lower lip looking back toward your ass. The second you stood on your tiptoes, ass out, looking back at the viewer with a grin. Your face and hair were the same no matter which photo he looked at— blonde waves falling over your shoulders, pinned back at the sides. Dani was a talented artist… they all distinctly looked like you, that was for sure. Your body was also distinctly yours, big and curvy and perfectly fuckable, even on paper.
The two poses had each been drawn twice in the two different outfits Dani had mentioned. Stephen chuckled looking over the first. One of the old-timey nurse dresses adorned your curves. Cut off short to expose your ass and a pair of red garters and black heels as you grinned back at him. He liked the standing position in the nurse outfit the best. He liked you bent over better in your little bakers outfit— if you can call an apron and a pair of heels an outfit. In that one Dani had redrawn it so a bowl of batter sat in front of you and you sucked on your finger as if to lick it clean.
You watched Stephen look over the drawings anxiously. You’d feel better if you could wiggle around or look away, but it was not in the cards for you to do so. So you watched him, scrutinizing every quirk of his lips, the way his eyes moved back and forth across the screen, where he zoomed in and out.
“Jesus, Doll.” Stephen breathed out
“Too much?” You ask meekly
“For a first tattoo, yeah, I think you’re right about that, but…” He gives his head a bit of a shake and swallows hard, grinning up at you, “Am I allowed to keep these for future use or what?”
You can’t help the smile or blush that forms across your cheeks. You nod and bury your face back in your arms, intent not to show how drastically his approval affects you. But of course, he already knows it. Stephen chuckles and slides closer to you, resting his hand on your arm and giving it a gentle squeeze. You peek back out at him and he just smirks at you, his fingers digging lightly into the skin of your arm. His eyes continue straying from the art to you and back. You reach down in an ask for the phone and he hands it over with a pout. A few seconds passed and his phone started vibrating in his pocket. He knit his brows at you but you just gave a very small shrug and a shy sort of smile.
You watched as his mouth popped open… you thought if it were possible his eyes would’ve bugged straight out of his head like a Looney-Tunes character. Stephen thought he’d lost his mind when he opened the messages from you to reveal far more than just the two poses shown in the drawings. Stephen had just received a photoshoots worth of poses of you strung out in different outfits and lingerie and nothing, and he was suddenly wishing he could say ‘fuck it’ to the tattoos and drag your ass back to his apartment and fuck you in every position he saw you in on that screen.
Against the wall, the counter, the shower, bent over the foot of his bed, sprawled out on the floor, legs spread wide on his couch, your hands in his hair, his hands on your tits, your moans and whimpers echoing off the walls, whispering filthy praises into your ears and mouth as he fucked you beyond the capability of cognitive function…
You watched as Stephen scrolled through the photos… there were about thirty-five overall. You’d originally only wanted the two you were certain you needed for the pinup, but Christine functioned a little too well as both hype-woman and boudoir photographer, resulting in the aforementioned album of photos. You’d only looked them over about twice, deleting the ones you really hated, leaving the ones you felt tolerable. You had them all printed out and in an album for Stephen in the back of his car— part one of his surprise for good behavior. But he was so excited now… how could you resist? And to have him turned on in public? Always a fun game.
Stephen was in a very weird spot physically. His throat was dry but he was somehow drooling. He wanted to stand and jump for joy but his legs felt like jello. He had a million and one things to say to you, but every time he opened his mouth he found himself snapping it shut just as quick. He wasn’t sure how to articulate or express how utterly turned on he was at the moment. Nor did he know the right words to convey just how stunning you were. Thinking anything was hard at the time being… he was mostly just feeling. Not so long ago you’d told him you wouldn’t be able to send him photos like these… and here he was with the fucking motherlode of nudes and erotic imagery of you… 
And all for him. 
“Happy birthday…” You murmur, that soft blush making your cheeks and nose the prettiest shade of pink, white hair falling over your shoulders and framing your face making you look like a literal angel on earth to Stephen
He visibly swallowed hard and reached down, not so subtly rubbing over his half-hard-on and grunting out, “No fucking kidding, Honey.”
“There’s a physical album in the car for you.” You add, eyeing the growing tent in his shorts
Stephen’s eyes nearly rolled back into his head as he took a long, deep breath. He leaned back and propped himself up on his elbows, setting his phone to the side, careful to switch it off before doing so. You giggled at him, licking your lips at the sight of his growing erection, thinking how this table you were laying on was the perfect height…
“Now how am I supposed to behave?” Stephen mumbles, sitting up and scooting closer to you once more, perching his chin on the headrest inches away from your own face
You giggle and tease him, leaning just a bit farther forward, “Because the better you behave right now, the more you get to misbehave when you have me back in your home, all alone, no one around to hear me scream…”
“What if I want them to hear you?” Stephen challenges, body ablaze, swept up in fire knowing what waits for him as soon as he can get you back to his place
“I’ll be loud for you.” You whisper, watching as Stephen’s tongue darts out to wet his bottom lip, “I’ll be whatever you want.”
“I get you tonight?”
“Yes.” You agree, “As much as you want… or not at all.”
Stephen nearly sneers, “You think you’re shoving those pictures in my face and I’m not going to fuck you to match your slutty little pose in each one? Think again, Honey. Hope you’re as flexible as the photos lead on.”
You roll your eyes, “You know I am.”
“Don’t roll your eyes at me.” He grits out in a low tone, “It’s you who should be on your best behavior. It’s my day is it not?”
Internally you snicker to yourself… man’s got no idea what’s coming for him.
Externally you give him big doe eyes and agree, “Yes, Sir.”
Stephen gives a smirk and presses a kiss to your temple before sitting back down comfortably.
You had the feeling he was going to have you about eighteen different ways tonight.
But you were going to have him first.
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“Motherfuc—“
“Language.” You correct
“Hey, Little Miss Tattoo-On-the-Fat-Of-My-Ass? Shut the hell up.”
“Oop…” You giggle, crouching by Stephen’s head and watching his pained facial expressions go from mild discomfort to ‘that hurts like a bitch’ and back
“Don’t be a baby.” Dani deadpans, wiping over the tattoo, “You’re almost done anyways. And the next one won’t feel half this bad. She’s done you a favor, really.”
“Yeah, see? I’ve done you a favor!”
Stephen huffed and glared at you out of the side of his eyes. He had a very hard time staying mad when you looked so cute with your cheek squished against your arm and a silly little smile on your face. Your tattoo had gone very well, but you and Dani decided you should both wait to see the end result in the privacy of your home. You’d seen it and you couldn’t stop giggling and smiling since then. Your pleasure from the sight of his name on your body made him warm and light-headed. 
“I should have asked you to avoid any area around the dick.” He mutters, squeezing his eyes shut and grunting as Dani goes back over what feels like the same spot for the hundredth time
“Mm, but it’s one of my favorite things about you.” You bite into your bottom lip and giggle, “Besides, this way you have a lot of explaining to do to any future lays. Especially ones from the rolodex. They’ll start thinking if they’re good enough they get their name tattooed on the great Doctor Stephen Strange—“
“Oh and I’m sure your next boyfriend is gonna love staring at my name on your ass.”
“If they’re anything like you they might.” You pose
“What?”
“I mean… think about it. You’re fucking a woman from behind and see some other guys name on her ass, but she doesn’t have on a wedding band, you’re fairly certain she doesn’t have a boyfriend… damn. That used to be someone else’s bitch. And now she’s just letting you at her like—“
“Okay, okay.” Stephen agrees, “Point taken, yeah. That’s hot.” He considers a moment before his eyes blow wide and his head whips toward you, “Except I’m the cuck in this scenario— Augustine…” He whines
You just giggle and place a kiss on the tip of his nose, standing to stretch your legs and arms. Stephen huffed and went back to staring at the ceiling. He wasn’t fond of there ever being another man to see his name on your ass… not in that context. The first thing he was gonna do at work on Monday was coerce you into showing Christine, Billy, and even Nic. He’d happily show your name, following his v-line down in a pretty little cursive that you said was your own. It was clearly affecting you just as much as it was affecting him— to have your name carved into his skin. You couldn’t keep your hands off him. Even now as you stood behind him watching Dani work, your hands trailed over his shoulders and pecs. It was a nice distraction from the far less gentle touch further down. He wondered if you could tell he’d been working out after work? It hadn’t been a conscious decision, really. Just something to do between work and blacking out… but it’d been nice. It felt like something productive had come from the shit show of the last two weeks. It helped him keep his mind off of you— and he liked the dull ache in his muscles the days following.
The machine came to a halt and he felt the rub of something over the raw skin. He winced, opening his eyes to find you staring down at him, a sweet smile on your face, the thumb of one hand tracing along his jawline and the other fussing with the fringe of his hair. Butterflies erupted in Stephen’s stomach when you looked at him like that. Like he was all there was to see. 
He was thirty-five years old and you gave him fucking butterflies.
“How’s it look, Doll?”
“Well— I’m too supposed to look yet, silly.” You remind him, looking back down to Stephen, trying and failing to push the hair back off of his forehead and giving a little snort
“I’ve thought about cutting it shorter—“
“Do not!” You gasp immediately, “Stephen, don’t you dare.”
Stephen had not been prepared for you to have such a strong reaction and gave a chuckle, “Why not? It’d stay out of my face at least.”
“Oh, but I like it like this.” You run your fingers through the thick chocolatey hair and give a hum of approval, “It’s cute this way. You could even grow it out a little longer, I think—“
“OR.” He says in response
“Well, Stephen, that’s what they make the masks and nets for ain’t it?”
Stephen smiled at your frustration, “It’s easier this way.”
You huff and pull away from him, walking to the end of the table grumbling, “Won’t grow out your hair, won’t grow out a beard…” Though you still avert your gaze from the final product
Dani hums, “He’s too posh for you, Cupcake. They don’t make ‘em rugged enough for you up here, do they?”
You consider a moment and say, “The last one I went on a few dates with was pretty rugged.” Stephen saw an unmistakable flush cover your cheeks, “Big boy, beard, head full of hair, carpenter—“ You seem to shake yourself from your trance and add, “He’s from Pennsylvania… looked like a lumberjack. Yum.”
Stephen couldn’t hold back a huff and rolling his eyes. You caught a glimpse of it out of the corner of your own and covered your mouth to hide a laugh. He was too easy.
“Alright, Stephen. You’re wrapped. Did you listen when I was explaining aftercare to Augustine?”
“Yep.” Stephen agrees, sitting up with a bit of a groan
He walks over to the full-length mirror on the side of the stall and looks over the tattoo with a grin. He had to admit… it felt sexy. God, women would go crazy for this. Well… if it weren’t another woman’s name. Though he didn’t find himself perturbed by this observation. In fact, when he thought about another woman complaining about the tattoo all he could think to do was roll his eyes. He thought it looked perfect. You did your best not to look at the tattoo, but Stephen turned to the side with his very, very bare chest and shorts hanging very, very low on a toned waist were enough to make anyone stop and stare. 
“Damn good birthday gift, Doll.” Stephen says
“I tried.”
“What‘s your mother going to think—“
“Hopefully she doesn’t see it and won’t think anything.” You mutter, “But if she does, I’m grown. What’s she gonna do about it?” You huff, “This way we both have a secret to keep.”
“Speaking of keeping it a secret… Dani? Could you check and see if there are still two shady-looking guys outside the door? Might even be standing next to the Huracán.” Stephen says, “If so, is there a back way Auggie can sneak out?”
Dani hops up from her chair and strides straight outside. There’s a moment before the door opens once more and she gives a shrug.
“No one out there far as I can see.”
“Which just means they’ve hidden well.” You grumble
“Or, they’ve actually given up.” Stephen says hopefully
“I just still think it’s for the best I catch a cab.” You murmur
“That’s ridiculous.” Stephen scoffs
“Well, you said it yourself. How’s it gonna look the two of us leaving a tattoo shop together?”
“Okay, fine…” Stephen hesitates, “I just don’t want them to end up on you when you’re alone. They can be real assholes.”
“I’ll wait in here with Dani until a cab gets here.” You reassure
“I’ll walk her out when it does get here, Doctor.” The younger man who’d been sitting up front when you arrived and doing Dani’s bidding speaks up
Stephen went to respond before his mouth snapped shut and he turned to give the guy a weird look, “Doctor?”
“My sister is pre-med and like… obsessed with you, dude. Recognized you from the uh— gray.” He explains pointing to his own temples, making you giggle, “Don’t worry, didn’t tell her where you are. Won’t tell her I saw you until dinner tonight. She’s gonna flip her shit.” The kid— George, Stephen thinks— gives a shit-eating grin
Kid looks like he eats protein powder at the aforementioned dinner. Couldn’t be older than twenty-one and already covered in ink from what Stephen can see. 
“Alright.” Stephen agrees, “And uh— if you wouldn’t mind? Keep what you know about the tattoos on the down low?”
The kid gives a half smile and agrees, “You got it, Doc.” He looks at you and offers, “Ms. May, you can come wait behind the desk with me if you want. Better than standing around.”
“Only if you show me whatcha been workin’ on.” You bargain with a smile, nodding to the portfolio in front of him
He flushes, “Ah— sure. If you really wanna see.”
“I’d love to!”
Stephen watches you settle in next to the kid, obviously pleased with your presence, but very respectful about his distance. Stephen offers his arm to Dani who scoffs and leads the way forward, looking about like a hired guard in all black and that ‘don’t fuck with me face.’ Sure enough, as Stephen and Dani are approaching the car, four or five guys seemingly materialize behind them. God… they always multiply. Just cameras, no mics, so there was that to be grateful for. Stephen was sure one of them must’ve had a body cam on their chest to catch any audio if need be. Stephen just kept his head down, Dani trying to obstruct the photographers’ line of sight. Stephen opened the car door and slid in, locking it immediately and feeling incredibly grateful for the blackout windows. 
He could hear the photographers asking questions outside, trying to get Dani’s attention with things like, “Did that man have a woman with him?”
Or, “What did Strange just have tattooed?”
He smiled to himself when Dani replied, “Only female client I’ve seen all day left ‘bout an hour ago out the back.”
There was a swarm of curses and while the papz were distracted, Stephen quickly threw the car in reverse and whipped out of the parking lot. He didn’t check the rearview to see if he was being followed, he assumed he was and just hoped enough of them followed to leave Augustine out of the mix. He didn’t know how he’d get her into the building when she was coming by cab and wouldn’t have access to an enclosed parking garage. He’d have to talk to the doorman and see what he could do. Or… he could try to lose them? Yes, that was the better idea.
Stephen dialed your phone and you answered, “Alright?”
“Yep. Cancel your cab though. Hang tight for about twenty, okay?”
“Wh—“
“Okay.” He decided for you
“Okay.” You agreed, because there was little else you could do
Stephen then immediately dialed Christine, “Tell me you’re on break.”
“Okay… I’m on break?”
“That didn’t sound so certain.”
“I can be on break for the birthday boy.” Christine decides
“I am about to pull into the parking garage in five minutes. I need you to be outside with your car keys, the back doors open, and the willing attitude to let me take your car.”
“Um!”
“Please? Papz are on me—“
Christine groans, “Not from the tattoo shop?”
“Yep.”
“Oh my God.” Christine sighs, “Speaking of… how’d you like your present?”
Stephen grinned to himself, “Fucking amazing. Can’t believe you let her talk herself out of the pinup.”
“She was nervous, Steph, c’mon. I mean— that’s a lot to put on someone else’s body. Especially when that someone else has yet to tell you how they feel…”
“Shut it.”
“Anyways… I think the names are cute. Can’t wait to see them.”
“Mhm.”
“Do I get to take Harriet home?”
Stephen scoffs, “That is not her name.”
Christine had attempted naming the Huracán ‘Harriet’ many, many times now. It made her laugh because it made Stephen so completely indignant. ‘Harriet isn’t a sexy name, she deserves a sexy name.’ Christine would roll her eyes and continue calling the car Harriet every chance she got. It just made her giggle.
“And I love you, but you certainly do not. I’ll pay you back for cab fare.”
“Stephen.” She whines
“Or, better yet, go home with your boyfriend. I’m sure he’s more than willing to spare the other side of his bed.” Stephen paused before asking, “How’s that going, by the way?”
Christine snorts, “Do you care?”
“About you? Very, very much, Chrissy.”
Stephen could almost hear the blush on Christine’s cheeks as she stuttered out, “Oh— well… I mean. It’s… good. Taking things slow has been… different.”
“Good different?”
“I’m… I don’t know.” 
“What’s the problem, Chrissy? Talk to me.” Stephen demands, switching lanes and running through a light just as it turned to red
“Well… at the start I was worried it was just…” She hesitates
“A repeat of us?”
There’s a pause before she breathes out a, “Yes.”
“Okay, and?”
“And so it’s clear that it’s not at this point. And I really like him and we’re officially together, but we haven’t… had sex yet. At all.”
“Are you trying to kill him?”
“Stephen!”
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry! I was joking!”
Christine huffs, “I— I’m not trying to! But the thing is, I thought it might? I don’t know… it’s been four months and he hasn’t tried to initiate anything—“
“But that’s what you wanted?”
“Yeah, I know, but I just…” She lets out a groan, “I guess I just thought he’d want something by now.”
“Sounds like you do.”
“Well…”
“Tell him.”
“Ugh.”
“Christine. We are men. We cannot read your mind. You told him you didn’t want the sex so he’s not going to initiate it unless you do first. He’s being respectful... which, you could stand to be a bit more grateful for after the last guy.”
“The last guy was an asshole.”
“Such an asshole.” Stephen agrees, rolling his eyes
“Do I have to tell him tell him or can I just… show him?”
“I do not claim to know the mind of Nicodemus West nor do I want to, that’s on you to decide.”
“That is not helpful.”
“Well if it were me, being shown would be the obvious choice. But he’s all… weird. And shy and skittish. You might scare him if you accidentally flash too much of your leg at once.”
“Stephen.” Christine scolds, but he can hear the smile in her voice
Stephen chuckles, “Chrissy, just tell him you want sex. Just say it like that and see what he says or does. I think that’s your best bet.”
He whipped into the parking garage and into his space, front and center where the papz would for sure see the car. Christine hung up the phone and jogged over, helping haul all of Augustine’s shit from the back.
“What the hell is all of this in your car for? Is she not staying the night?”
“She is tonight, she didn’t last night.”
“Oh?”
“She holed up in a hotel with Doctor Basson.”
“Oh.” Christine smiled and wiggled her eyebrows
Stephen scowled, “It wasn’t like that.”
“No, of course not.” Christine agrees, pausing for dramatic effect before saying, “But if it were she doesn’t have any obligation to tell you so—“
“It’s my birthday.” Stephen grits out, snatching the car keys from Christine’s hand
Christine stops him from getting in the car, instead standing on her tiptoes and pressing a kiss to his cheek that makes all the grumpiness melt away. Damn what the two of you did to him. All soft and sappy and shit.
“Happy birthday, Steph.” Christine smiles up at him
“Thank you, Dear.” 
“Has Nic told you yet?”
“Uhm— no.” Stephen snorts
“I’ll get right on that, don’t you worry.” 
Stephen smiles and shakes his head, ducking down into the BMW and commenting, “Damn… sexy car. Who helped you pick it out?”
Christine rolls her eyes, “I should’ve never let you talk me into the black instead of the purple.”
“Well let’s be thankful I did for now… much more low profile.”
“Mhm.”
“Oh, one last thing?”
“Yes, Stephen?”
“Nic is crazy about you. You want sex, you’ll get sex. You decide to remain celibate the rest of your life, he’d probably follow. Just talk to him.”
“Oh, so you’re master of relationships now?”
“Absolutely. Revealing all of therapy’s best-kept secrets.” Stephen winks at her
“You keep trading it off. You clearly aren’t acting on it.”
“It’s complicated.” Stephen waves her off, “I’ll get there when I get there.”
“Hm.”
“Have a good day.”
“Goodbye. Drive safe. Not a scratch!”
Stephen shut the door and backed out of the parking spot slowly before throttling the engine and heading toward the exit. He saw Christine shaking her head and smiling in the rearview.
‘It’s complicated.’ Christine scoffed to herself
Yeah, it sure as hell was. He didn’t know the half of it.
It wouldn’t be so complicated if you’d just…
Ugh.
tag list: @iamsherlocked1479 @aphroditesdilemma @avahiddlestonstan @yuu-chan-is-still-a-student12 @clairecroft @veryladyqueen @jyessaminereads @anadlockfan @lokislov3 @strangeobsessed @just-going-through-the-motions @nobelievers @rookiemartin @azu21 @faithinhome @mysticalmayhem1930 @vickie-mcmuffin @lokidokieokie @couldntbedamned @xaaalem
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The Dream - Chapter Twenty Eight.
Huge thanks for your engagement on this, besties. I appreciate those of you who are still taking the time to read and offer feedback hugely :) Just one more chapter and an epilogue left after this one. Thanks for sticking with me to those of you who have! 
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Previous chapters - Prologue  One  Two  Three  Four  Five  Six  Seven  Eight  Nine  Ten  Eleven  Twelve  Thirteen  Fourteen  Fifteen  Sixteen  Seventeen  Eighteen  Nineteen  Twenty Twenty One  Twenty Two  Twenty Three  Twenty Four  Twenty Five  Twenty Six  Twenty Seven
Tag list - In the comments, please DM to be added/removed (note: those not engaging will be automatically removed from the tag list, FYI)
Words - 2,948
Warnings - 18+ content throughout, minors DNI!
“Angel just got here, I’m gonna go out and meet him, babe.”  
Meryl nodded, but her eyes didn’t leave her daughter for a second, lying there in the hospital bed, clinging to life, wires poking out from her arms and hands, a machine breathing for her. David placed a kiss on her head before departing, the weight of the situation heavy upon his broad shoulders. Nurses smiled kindly at him as he passed, him nodding in acknowledgement, his chest tight with the tension.  
She might not have been his by biology, but that was his kid in there. His little. She had to be okay, because losing her at just twenty-three wasn’t an option. No parent should ever have to bury their child, and no young woman deserved to have her life cut short so cruelly when she was only at the very beginning of going out there to live it.  
A gentle nudge from a woman he’d been standing next to waiting for the elevator roused him, David shaking himself, stepping in and pressing the button for the ground floor. When he arrived outside, Angel was pacing with a cigarette, pale, eyes wide. As he expected.  
“What happened? Is she alright?”
David steadied him with a hand to his shoulder, shaking his head. “She’s in a bad way, Angel. The Uber she was in got hit by a truck on the freeway, the driver was killed instantly, and it took the fire department a half hour to cut her from the wreckage, after which she’d lost a dangerous amount of blood.  
“Her injuries are severe, and she was taken for emergency surgery as soon as she arrived. I want you to brace yourself when you see her, because she don’t look like Keri right now. They had to shave half her hair to operate on her brain, relieve the pressure from the swelling, which they did, but her injuries are so extensive that the next twenty-four hours remain critical. We’ve been told to prepare ourselves for the worst.”
It was as if someone had injected ice into his veins, his entire body trembling in chill, the fear swelling within him as he nodded dumbly, David putting his arm around his shoulders and guiding him into the building. His whole body felt rigid, his feet shuffling him forward without conscious thought, disbelief hanging over him like a fog.
This couldn’t be happening.  
Not to her, not to them. Not his Keri.  
“Jesus Christ,” he whispered in the elevator, rubbing his face with his hand. “I just...”
David nodded, gripping his shoulder firmly. “I know. Don’t matter how bleak it all is, we gotta keep faith, hold hope that she’ll recover. She needs us to.”  
He nodded, a lump rising in his throat, one that he managed to hang onto, until he actually saw her.  
“Fuck,” he winced, having to turn away and take a deep breath, seeing here lying there like that, walking to her side and leaning to gently kiss her head. “I’m here, baby. I love you so fucking much. We’re all here, and we ain’t going anywhere, not until you wake up. Please wake up soon, Keri.” Reaching across the bed, he grasped Meryl’s hand, her tear-streaked face brightening into a smile for him.  
“I’m so glad you’re here, love.”
“Ain’t no other place I’d be.” He let go after a few seconds, his fingers finding Keri’s, her hand a mess of tubes and cuts, her beautiful face blackened by bruising. It didn’t feel real, how in the space of a few hours his entire world had been capsized. Why was this happening to her?
“I’m gonna go to the machine and get a coffee,” David stated, looking between them. “You guys want anything?”
They shook their heads, Meryl thanking him anyway, the door closing with a soft click behind him.
“How did it all happen? David didn’t go into detail.”  
She took a deep breath, tremored, the story she’d heard from Sunni still crashing against her insides like a tornado. She felt fortunate at least, that someone who loved Keri so much had been there to attend to her as soon as she’d arrived, although her heart went out to him, having to remain professional while he treated his niece, all the emotion he must have had to push deep down. “A truck had a tire blow out, hit the Uber side on, propelling it into the path of another truck and sending the vehicle into a roll.  
“The guy in the second truck managed to break sharply, more cars hit the back of him, too. It was a huge pile up. He got out and went straight to their aid, saw the driver was dead, but Keri was apparently still conscious. He called for the emergency services, crawled partly into the wreck of the car and pressed his shirt against her shoulder wound, where part of the windscreen had pierced through. He stayed with her, too, and gave his account of what happened to the paramedics.  
“She was taken to the OR, where they operated to repair her shoulder and the damage to her chest cavity, also to stop the swelling and bleeding on her brain. We’ll only know how bad it is once she's stable enough to be scanned, but at this point, they’re only giving her a twenty percent chance of surviving through the night, her injuries are so huge.”  
“Jesus Christ,” he breathed, fingers tightening on hers as much as he dared, reaching to gently stroke her face. “She’s a fighter. She’ll get through it, and I ain’t leaving until she does.”
“She’d better,” Meryl choked, sobbing, “because I can’t fucking lose her, too. Not my little girl as well.” Angel moved to her side in an instant, crouching to wrap her in a hug, Meryl falling apart into floods of tears as she held onto him tightly. “Oh god, Angel. I just... I can’t. What if we lose her?”
He was soft, yet staunch in his reply. “We aren’t going to. She’s hurt badly, but she’s gonna be fine. She has to be. It ain’t her time yet.” Unravelling from her, he touched a hand to her cheek, raising his eyebrows. “All this is, is the biggest Calamity Joe stunt she’s ever pulled, and we’re gonna tell her that when she wakes up, ain’t we?”
He wondered for a second if his words were poorly timed, his effort to try and give Meryl a little lightness. When she laughed softly through her nose and kissed his forehead, he saw it was perhaps just what she needed. “Yes, that’s exactly what it is. And we will.”  
The hours that followed showed her stats stabilising, but by no means was she out of the woods. Her friends arrived one by one, Frankie and Jaime first, the former literally collapsing in tears, Angel having to pick her up off the floor after her legs had given way from under her. He sat her on his lap, holding her tight as she held Keri’s hand, talking to her, telling her how much she loved her.
“This kid has a damned tough skull. She’s made it through alive this far when in all honesty, she could have died right there in the wreckage. That’s what it is, her tough skull,” Meryl spoke, reaching to squeeze Frankie’s arm. “Remember when you guys were nine, and you decided to use a refuse bag to go sliding down the stairs, and Keri’s head smacking into the front door was your brakes?”
She laughed through her tears, drying her eyes on the back of her hand. “Or when you were having the wall built in the backyard, when she tried to climb up onto the pile of bricks waiting to be used, and one came straight down on her head? ‘I’m fine, I’m okay!’ and she had blood everywhere, looking like something out of a horror movie from a tiny half inch cut on her forehead?”  
“Or when she got so drunk, she didn’t get the pull out secured properly and ended up sandwiched in it, with her head wedged?” Jaime offered, Frankie collapsing into giggles as she remembered them having to rescue her.
“She tripped over at the clubhouse one night, ended up headbutting Gilly, and that guy has a skull like concrete,” Angel added, laughing at the memory of Gilly roaring whether her head was made of rocks, from how sharply her skull had pounded off his as he’d caught her. “Baby you better wake up and shush me, or imma start telling your friends and your mom some of your really embarrassing fuck ups.”
Sadly, their precious Calamity Joe remained unmoving, her chest rising and falling steadily as the machine breathed air into her lungs, all four of them trying to keep their spirits up in the face of such a bleak prognosis. Jaime and Frankie stayed as late as they could, before it was just Angel and Meryl, the staff allowing them both to stay with her overnight, given the circumstances, nurses coming in every hour or so to check on her. Every check yielded no change in her condition.  
“I booked the vacation,” he began to tell her, reaching to stroke her cheek. “Fourteen nights in Ocho Rios in December. I know you showed me that hotel, but the bungalow I found was way nicer, even though it cost a fucking shit tonne more, you’re worth every cent. I can’t wait to show you, you're gonna love it. You’ll scream when you see the coastline, everything you can photograph. If you’re still unsteady after all of this, we can push it back, but if not then it’ll be the perfect place to take you so you can chill out and rest. I’ll do everything, you don’t gotta worry about a thing.”
It hurt his heart, having to speak about a future he didn’t yet know he’d get to share with her, but he had to hold hope that he would. She’d survived the night, which was something, at least. There was hope she would continue to make slow progress, even if the hours that followed still offered no change.
Running on no sleep, Angel felt his eyes beginning to grow heavy at around half past five the following afternoon.
“You should try and get a little sleep,” Frankie advised, after arriving straight from visiting her grandparents, Angel shaking his head.
“I can’t. Not until she wakes up.”  
She nodded, stroking his hair lovingly. “Alright, big guy. I’m going to go grab a coffee, see you in a little while.” He watched her leave the room, resisting the urge for sleep that continued to tug at him all he could, putting his head down beside her hip on the bed, his hand still holding hers tightly.  
The sounds of the sea drifted into his ears, opening his eyes to familiar surroundings, everything so brilliant white and beautiful. Nothing was a beautiful as the face that greeted him, though.
“Ahh, he finally sleeps.”  
He felt a sob well his throat, pulling her into his arms, not able to voice the emotions stirred in him properly. “Baby, I... and you’re...”  
“Shhh, calm down,” she advised, stroking his hair. “You have to stay asleep, so I can actually spend some time with you. We need this moment.”  
Looking up at her, he stroked her face, loving kisses finding her lips, holding her to him tightly. “And you gotta fight it, what happened to you, come back to us, to me. I know that you can.”  
“Just lie here with me, listen to the ocean. It’s so beautiful here, so peaceful. This is our place, where we always found each other through the absolute madness of everything. Let’s just enjoy it. All is well here. I love you,” she spoke, her hands loving in their glide, laying kisses to his forehead. It all made sense to her now, the white room, how they always found themselves back there. Finally, she got it, what it meant, although she wished she didn’t.  
“I love you too, baby. More than you could ever know.”
Her nails scratched at his beard, her smile widening. “Trust me, my beautiful man. I know.” He sank into the peace of the moment, his heart hurting that it wasn’t real, the bittersweetness of it hitting him hard. It was how they’d begun. It felt so real, her skin against his, her smell, her, just her, there in his arms, in the safe sanctuary of the white room. “No man has ever meant more to me than you do, and I want you to know that, Angel. I want you to remember it. Never, ever forget it.”
Looking down at her, he felt sadness swell in his heart. “That obelisk, it was never about me, was it?”
She shook her head.  
“I ain’t ready, Keri. This can’t be the end. I can’t say goodbye to you yet.”  
Kissing his tears as they fell, she shed a few of her own, too, at the unfairness of it all, her heart throbbing with waves of sadness as she clung onto him. Her entire being wanted to keep fighting to be with him, but she knew. It was her time to depart. “Neither am I, but it doesn’t hurt here, baby.”
Those words broke him completely, Keri holding him tightly. “Shhhh, honey. It’ll be okay.”
“No, it won’t. It won’t be okay, not without you.”  
“Yes, it will. I mean, not for a while, but eventually.” Pausing, she kissed him, her hands gliding over his chest, drinking him in, her love burning ever brighter with every precious moment that passed. “It isn’t fair, and I know this. But at least we have right now, this moment, so I can tell you how endlessly I love you.”  
“Please don’t go,” he begged softly, willing her to stay with him with everything he had. The devil could have offered up a contract for his soul in that moment, and he’d sign his name to it instantly if it would give him his love back, make it not so that he had to lose her, and she had to lose everything. “I need to make it up to you, still. I gotta show you that I’m capable of being better for you, please, Keri. Please don’t leave me.”
“Hey, you don’t have to make up for anything. I know, Angel, I know. I want you to know that I don’t want to go, either. I don’t. But I can’t hold on, no matter how much I want to. I’ll always be with you, though. I promise.” Kissing his head, she looked at him with a smile, her beauty burning into his retinas, the moment one he knew he’d remember forever. “You look after yourself, you hear me? I love you, Angel. I love you so much.”
He felt something tug as his insides, the dream beginning to slip, protesting, trying to hang onto her. “No, please don’t go, Keri. Please stay with me.”
“I love you, Angel.”
“No... no... I love you too, baby. Hold on, please. I love you.”
The sounds of the sea swelled in his ears, his consciousness coming back to him, the feel of someone grasping his shoulders and hauling him away from the bed as a long, droning noise sounded from one of the machines, the room suddenly full of medical personnel, someone pulling him to his feet, Meryl being asked to leave the room as well, her screams sharp in his ears as his eyes watched it all happen.  
They worked rapidly, but it played by slowly to him, every movement he knew was futile, his tears falling as he watched from the open door, knowing it was too late, Meryl hysterical in David’s arms. They tried and tried, but it was no good.  
As he watched her fade away, every moment of her replayed in his head, the dreams they’d found one another in, the reality that followed, everything that was their incredible story, now cut short entirely too soon.  
“Time of death, five fifty-one pm.”  
Meryl’s wail was of primal agony, collapsing, David lifting her into his arms, clutching her tightly as Angel felt the bottom of his world crash out from under him. She was gone. As he staggered back to fall down into a seat across from her room, he felt the sharp-toothed jaws of grief close in around him, goring at where he was soft, his head meeting his hands as he cried for her, his insides churned and ripped to shreds by the shards of his broken heart.  
He had no concept of time as he sat there, replaying those last moments with her in their dream, the last time he’d ever seen her alive and well in the airport, the first dream, the first everything, the future he’d never have with her, robbed so cruelly from them both. He’d found and lost her in dreams. They’d come full circle.
“I’m always coming back.”
Except now she wasn’t, and it was through no fault of her own that she would never again return to him. The cruel, biting irony of the situation was not lost on him as the grief of losing her swallowed him whole, drowning in the darkness of it, feeling someone crouch before him, two hands stroking his arms.  
Looking up into Frankie’s tear-filled eyes, he didn’t have a clue what to say to her, both resting their foreheads together before embracing tightly, crying on one another, their worlds absolutely shattered for no longer having their precious Keri within them.
A/N - I’m so sorry to do this to you all :( I think a few of you might’ve worked it out already though, that this was where we were always heading, picked up on the clues from the dreams. Well done if you did! But yes, this was always set to go in a very different direction to how I usually take my stories, and it was a challenge, but one I hope I managed to do justice to. 
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sixhours · 6 days
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One Day at a Time - Chapter 1 - Conception
Series Chapter Index | Read on AO3 | Complete
Rating: Explicit, 18+, here be smut Series tags: The Last of Us, The Last of Us (HBO), Joel Miller x f!OFC, Joel & Ellie, mostly follows canon, SMUT, gratuitous smut, dubious consent (drunk sex), unplanned pregnancy, fluff, references to past miscarriages, angst, hurt/comfort, romance, age gap (~21 years), childbirth, fluffy baby stuff, I've probably forgotten some so please let me know <3
~*~
It was probably the alcohol.
No, it was definitely the alcohol. That shit was lethal and he should have known better.
Charlie wasn’t even supposed to be on the patrol roster that day. Joel was usually paired with Tommy; the brothers had a good rhythm and years of partnership that made their runs almost effortless. But Tommy’s kid was sick, and Charlie had shown up for his shift.
Joel didn’t mind. She was serious, a good shot, and she didn’t feel the need to fill the silence. Even Tommy could get chatty when the mood struck, and Joel was infamously allergic to small talk. It was one overnight run–ride north, spend the night in Beaver Creek, keep an eye out for hordes, and salvage and scavenge what they could–and then they’d come home.
If only she hadn’t cut her damn leg.
“Hold still,” Joel grunted as Charlie’s calf twitched under his hand. The gash was deep enough to require stitches, but he wasn’t going to try that, not with his arthritic fingers, not in this damp spring chill. He poured a splash of alcohol over the wound and winced at her hissed out-breath.
“Motherfucker,” she growled, and Joel’s cock gave an involuntary twitch at the timbre of her voice, a hazy borderland between pleasure and pain.
Yeah, he’d noticed her. The way her ass looked in those jeans, the way her thighs gripped the saddle and held firm, the way her competent hands wielded a rifle. Her hair was a shock of silver-white that complemented strange light gray eyes and full pink lips.
He’d noticed all of it. He was old as dirt, but he wasn’t dead .
When a clean rag was wrapped and tied around the wound, he sat back, examining his work.
“How the hell’d you manage that?”
She gestured to the corner of the outpost where refuse had piled up. “Was looking for the log. There’s a broken window, didn’t see it.”
“Log’s on the other side,” he grouched.
“Yeah, I figured that out,” she muttered, wincing as she shifted her leg.
“S’it hurt?”
She shot him a look. Of course, it fucking hurts.
So he handed her the flask from which he’d poured the makeshift antibiotic.
“This’ll help.”
Charlie took the first swallow greedily, eyes watering, wheezing and coughing when the stuff hit the back of her throat. “Holy shit, what is this?”
He smirked, taking back the flask and helping himself, letting out an involuntary cough at the burn. “They don’t fuck around at the distillery.”
“You don’t say,” she said, gesturing to him with a flick of her fingers. Give it back. He obliged.
He forgot he hadn’t had a stiff drink in too many months. He forgot the stuff was so potent . He forgot the cold made it easier to get shit-faced.
The drink helped ease the tension and pass the time as they passed the flask back and forth. It loosened his tongue and made him soft, malleable, fuzzy around the edges.
He remembers her leaning into him, seeking warmth. He remembers putting an arm around her and thinking she smelled really good, then her face was really close to his and…then the flask was empty and Charlie was straddling his lap and her hot little tongue was licking his mouth and he had no concept of how she’d gotten there.
Worst of all, he didn’t really care.
The next time he came to, she was pinned underneath him, three of his thick fingers pressing into the hot slick of her mouth. He watched, mesmerized, as she sucked them in deeper, swirled her tongue between the sensitive V of his middle and index fingers…then fucking smiled around them.
The noise he made was something between a croak and a moan, cock buried in her to the hilt, hips rocking against hers involuntarily as she clenched, clenched, clenched . At some point, she’d taken off her jacket and he’d pushed up her shirt, pulled the cup of her bra down over one perfect full breast, and he had just enough wherewithal for his lips to find her nipple, sucking it hard between his teeth. He fumbled then, wanting the other breast, but his other hand was still in her fucking mouth, pressing against the soft warm pad of her tongue, and he couldn’t hold himself up. He growled in frustration, used his teeth against the lace cup of her bra, pulled hard, and freed his target.
Then he promptly forgot what he was trying to do.
The little sounds she made, cooed and purred directly into his good ear, were going to drive him fucking insane. It shouldn’t have been possible to get this hard , not at his age, and certainly not while on the verge of blackout drunk. He felt like he’d taken one of those little blue pills he used to trade. And she was so wet, so soft. She was burning around him and he wanted to die in her fire.
Then his groin pulled tight, a molten heat pooling low in his belly, and he couldn’t make himself stop thrusting, couldn’t make himself wait.
“You–you gonna–” he fumbled, trying to get the words to cooperate but his tongue was a useless piece of meat in his mouth and he was too fucking gone.
Charlie’s strong body arched under him, cutting him off, and all he could feel was her sweet, slick fluttering pulling him deeper as she came with a wail. A dim part of his mind thanked a god he didn’t believe in and followed suit, spilling into her with a final sloppy thrust that wrenched a harsh cry from his lips and his mind from his body.
He vaguely remembers her pushing him off, panting and muttering about not being able to breathe, and then it all went black.
~*~
He wakes with a groan that tastes like bile. 
Oh, his aching head, his godforsaken head . He’s having a stroke. That’s gotta be it. Only explanation.
He rolls to his side in agony and dares a tiny peek through swollen, dry eyes. The light is a white-hot blade to his frontal lobe.
Nope, that’s not gonna work.
He hears retching outside. His hand touches something cold and metallic—the flask. 
The empty flask.
Jesus. He risks another glance at the too-bright world and it hurts a tiny fraction less. Maybe not a stroke after all. His cock is still hanging out of his boxers, flaccid and freezing, and he has just enough capacity to tuck himself back in and sit up before Charlie comes limping into the cabin.
The sight of her calls up a hazy memory of heat and searing pleasure along with a wave of nausea. It must come back to her, too, because she’s looking at him warily.
“Did we…?” she says.
“We did,” Joel mutters, forcing himself to stay absolutely still. The slightest movement leaves him feeling like a rowboat tossed on the open sea.
“Thought so. Shit.”
After a few excruciating moments, Joel’s stomach settles and he attempts to get to his feet. His back has other plans, and when she offers him an arm for leverage, he takes it reluctantly, pulling away at the first possible opportunity when he’s sure he’s not going to keel over.
“Look–”
“Listen–”
Fuck.  
“You go,” he says, closing his eyes. Oops, that was a mistake. The world spins behind his eyelids. He drags them open, stumbling toward the door, searching for something to hold onto.
“I think…we’re two people, who had a consensual–consensual-ish—”
Joel’s gut rolls, pitches, yaws. He flings open the door just in time, depositing the meager contents of his stomach into the mud.
Leaning on the door frame, her hand on his arm brings him back.
“This doesn’t need to be weird,” Charlie says. “Can we chalk it up to a couple of bad decisions and move on?”
“Yeah,” he grunts, swallowing another heave. “S’fine.”
He’s barely conscious for the trip back to Jackson. The glare of the early spring sun and the lope of the horse beneath him is nauseating. Charlie doesn’t seem to fare much better, but true to her nature, she doesn’t complain.
They ride through the gates and part ways with barely a nod and a wave between them. No one asks why their run proves fruitless, chalking it up to Charlie’s injury. She limps off to the clinic to get stitched up, and Joel staggers home, collapsing in bed to sleep off the worst hangover of his life.
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thebookofeibon · 1 month
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a sweeter alternative
Rating: T Chapters: 1/1 Words: 6868 Fandom: Ensemble Stars Ships: ReiKao Relevant "tags": blood time. uh sex mentions and allusions i don't write it though i'm not at that comfort level yet.
“You know how he uses it in place of blood?” Kaoru kept his eyes on Rei, catching Adonis’s nod in the corner on his eye. “Well the past couple of months, it hasn��t been doing the job.” “Huh? What do you mean past couple of months?” Koga eyed Rei. “He’s been drinking twice the amount he usually does, he’s been drinking different brands, and he’s still slow as if he’s low on energy.”
i'll add squidgeworld link when i post to there
for now u can read under the cut!
i suppose i can start putting my notes here in the mean time. uhhh this one's been in the works since october, just chipping away at it here and there. idr what the inspo was i think i just wanted to address the vampire thing.
his vampirism works how i want it to work bc it's a disability and i am also disabled and that's that. idc that vampirism isn't real
this is in my little series i had on ao3 where they live together in an apartment and i don't know the timeline for realsies i'm making shit up. this is actually the first one in the series to not have a pinocchioP title and it's bc. i couldn't find one. what can i say he doesn't have any vampire songs. the vocaloid vampire song also didn't fit but it was the working title of this.
i'll also make a page for this series on this blog since. gestures to no longer using ao3
~~~~~~~~~~~
“Rei-kun.”
“Mmm.”
“Don’t ‘mmm’ me, you heard exactly what I just said.”
Rei doesn’t answer, entirely pissing Kaoru off. “You have had two large containers of tomato juice this week and you’re still falling asleep in random places. It’s not working the way it used to.” Rei’s grip on his pillow grows tighter as he really pushes the limits his face can go into it. “It’s 8pm, and I’ve been trying to wake you up for almost two hours.” He walked over to the bed to take the pillow, only to find Rei’s resistance to be much stronger than it should be. “This. Has been happening. For two months!!!” He tugged at the pillow with all of his might, though he really couldn’t get anywhere with it. “You need blood!” A final tug that still resulted in nothing causes Kaoru to let go, huffing as he caught his breath. “I don’t pretend to know your condition, but I fear that staying strictly with tomato juice isn’t going to work anymore!”
Rei stayed with his head buried in the pillow, only letting out a groan in response.
“You’re acting like a child.”
Rei mumbled a response into the pillow, completely inaudible.
“I can’t hear you.” A beat. Two. “You are impossible.” He huffed, walking with a little too much force out of the room.
Only when he was sure Kaoru was out of sight did Rei lift his head to look out into the living room. He frowned, eyebrows scrunched together in…it’s not anger, it’s not disappointment, dismay?
He didn’t really want to accept that Kaoru was right. Rei has known for a few months now that something was wrong with his juice intake, but he’d hoped that it wasn’t obvious, and it hasn’t really been to the kids. But Kaoru? Of course he’d figure out, it was dumb to even entertain the idea that the man he lives with and sleeps next to wouldn’t notice something was wrong. He laid his head sideways on the pillow, still looking out into the hallway. He was still tired.
He even tried changing brands, thinking maybe his default brand was the problem, but after trying all the ones available on the market, something else that Kaoru for sure would’ve noticed, he also began to come to the same conclusion.
This vampire does need blood to survive.
He began questioning family members after the first month, especially those he knew took alternatives for blood. But he didn’t receive answers he liked.
“Yeah, it stopped being viable after I turned 25, like its good when I’m in a pinch but I don’t rely on it anymore”
“I stopped relying solely on tomato juice when puberty hit, it’s still my primary source but I do need actual blood every other month to be at top shape.”
“There’s no alternative that’ll provide you accurately with the amount of iron our bodies need. As an idol, I’m surprised you’ve made it this long before realizing the faults in your juice alternative.”
Rei’s brought out of his head by the sound of a loud “clink” on the bedside table and he looks up to spot Kaoru, placing a full glass of tomato juice on the bedside table.
“Decided to show your face after all?” Kaoru teased, ruffling Rei’s bed head.
“You just said the juice isn’t working.” Rei grumbled, eyeing the damned glass. He hates this brand, he’s learned. Too sugary for his tastes.
“Well, you have a whole thing still and you’re fighting this theory so it's the best I can do.” He shrugged and walked out again.
Rei watched him with a scowl. “Come back here.”
Kaoru turned his head back pensively. “Hmmm? Does his wicked highness finally see fit to have my offering?” He turned around with a grin and a bow.
“What’s wrong with me just wanting to have you near?” He didn’t let up on his scowl. “Senior year you would be appalled by this behavior.”
“Hmmm? Why are you so caught up with how senior year me would feel? This is nothing! What senior year me would be devastated by is the amount of time we spend making out. Or how much sex we’ve had.” Kaoru smiled as he walked back into the bedroom. “Seriously Rei-kun! My one time of being pissed off at you for biting me has been waaaaay overshadowed by how many times you have given me head in the last, what? Four years? Since that whole ordeal.”
Rei buried his face again by the end of Kaoru’s ramble, burning red ears all that’s visible of his immodesty. He was right, technically speaking. High school Kaoru is at this point a different person than his current partner, that Kaoru would faint if he even knew they lived together.
“Honestly, Rei-kun?” Kaoru was next to his ear suddenly, causing Rei to jump and look over to catch the smug grin spreading across his tan skin. “I think it’d be suuuper hot if you took my blood during sex.”
“Gross, did talking about my mouth get you horny?” Rei pushed Kaoru’s face away and reburied his own.
“Hmmm? You act like you’ve never thought about it~.” He can hear the grin he still has. Hands grasp at his shoulders and begin to rub. “Like you don’t linger when giving me hickeys, or when you can’t help yourself and still bite slightly too hard.” He pressed harder into the knot Rei had there, the vampire letting out a moan.
“You almost sound like you want me to feed on you for your pleasure more than my well being.” He grumbled into his pillow.
“I can bring up non-sexual examples too~” Another tight push against Rei’s shoulder has the vampire letting out a small whimper. “Whenever we cuddle, you always nuzzle into my neck at least once. In fact, it’s more rare that you don’t immediately bury your face into my neck. I’m always thinking, wow, I feel super vulnerable with how close his mouth is to my neck!”
Rei whined into his pillow, half in embarrassment, half in pleasure from the massage. He turned his head so he wasn’t talking into it anymore. “Really? Always?”
Kaoru laughed. “So you don’t even do it on purpose?”
“No!”
“When I wear my turtlenecks, sometimes I catch you staring at my neck when I move in a way that exposes more skin.”
“Kaoru-kun, this is embarrassing me. I’m going to cry. Do you want me to cry?” He pouted, holding back a whine when Kaoru removed his hands from him. “Why do you hate me? What did I ever do to you?”
“Not drink my blood.” The pillow Rei had been attached to this whole time quickly left his hands and collided with Kaoru’s face.
-----------------------------
It was a bad day from the minute Rei woke up, but they had an important media interview today so he really pushed himself to get out of bed and face the day.
Honestly? It’s been a bad week for the vampire. With no real reason for his energy to be completely depleted, he understood what it meant. He really didn’t want to admit it though, he really didn’t want to have to rely on blood.
“Hey, Rei-kun.” Kaoru nudged at him on the couch, gaining only a groan from the vampire. “I know you’re tired, let’s try and get some food in you before we have to go.” Rei opened his eyes at that, already concerned.
“What time is it?”
“Really? It’s only been 20 minutes since you woke up.”
“…Really?” He almost wanted to cry at that, it’s felt like an hour.
Kaoru frowned at him. “Seriously…I know it’s an off day for you but even that’s a little concerning. Come on, let’s go eat.”
They stopped at a diner nearby that Kaoru likes, ordering something small each with some coffee. Coffee doesn’t usually work on Rei unless he’s really lucky, but it’s the thought that counts here.
“Oi-hey! No falling asleep.” Kaoru tapped on Rei’s plate with his fork to make noise, startling Rei from what he supposed was dozing. “Finish eating, maybe that’ll keep you awake.”
He stared down at his half-eaten omelette with a frown, picking up his fork again. Every little bit helps.
“We’re here, wake up.” Kaoru nudges Rei awake again. The cab had come to a stop and Kaoru was in the middle of paying her. Rei seemed to be only capable of frowning today, mainly at himself. Kaoru glanced to him, offering a smile as he started to push Rei out the door.
“This is the fourth time in the last two hours he’s fallen asleep.” Kaoru sighed. “I know I shouldn’t complain, it’s out of his control, but it’s really frustrating today.” Rei blinked his eyes open, watching Kaoru and Koga talk in the waiting room outside of the recording studio.
“Maybe once he gets talking he’ll stay awake.” Adonis shrugged beside Rei on the couch. “Oh, good morning Sakuma-san.” He smiled at him, and Rei couldn’t help but return the smile.
Kaoru sighed again, much more audibly than before. He dug into his bag and pulled out a juicebox, tossing it to Rei. “Please, this is just an hour and a half, Rei-kun.”
Rei fumbled to catch the juicebox, but he did nonetheless, and he carefully detached the straw and stuck it into the top. “I’m sorry, you know I’m not usually this bad…” He sipped slowly on the box.
“The weather’s kinda whack right now, more than usual, s’probably what’s affecting you.” Koga crossed his arms. “Plus the thing you were complainin’ about the other day with your juice.” He gestured at him with his chin.
“Yeah…” Rei deflated a bit into the couch, feeling everyone’s eyes on him.
“What’s wrong with your juice?” Adonis tilted his head.
“You know how he uses it in place of blood?” Kaoru kept his eyes on Rei, catching Adonis’s nod in the corner on his eye. “Well the past couple of months, it hasn’t been doing the job.”
“Huh? What do you mean past couple of months?” Koga eyed Rei.
“He’s been drinking twice the amount he usually does, he’s been drinking different brands, and he’s still slow as if he’s low on energy.” Rei tried to shrink down as much as he could in the couch, trying to avoid eye contact. It’s embarrassing. Kaoru tutted. “You are so annoying sometimes.”
“Then…are you saying he needs blood?” Adonis tilted his head.
“Exactly. And he’s refusing to take any.”
Koga clicked his tongue, then finally brought his eyes off Rei to look at Kaoru again. “We can’t really force him.”
Kaoru kept his eyes on his partner however. “…No, I suppose not.”
“UNDEAD?” A woman’s voice called out, breaking the tension. “We’re ready to get you guys set up.”
-----------------------------
Rare, these days, for Rei to turn down showering with Kaoru when they got home, and with how his health has been, he really should’ve taken the opportunity to share the shower with him. But he wanted time alone to think.
He’d really been trying to ignore it, not even out of pride really. He’s grown accustomed to admitting when he needs help. He has friends willing to accommodate his needs and he couldn’t be more grateful for them because of it.
It’s not pride, it’s…arrogance. That’s it. The refusal to admit that he’s wrong. It’s been several months now, at this point the tomato juice hasn’t been helping longer than it has this year. It’s at least worth a try now to take blood, no matter how little he actually wants to do it.
It partly has to do with Kaoru’s refusal that Easter, the fear of hurting him always at the back of his mind, but a lot does have to do with how he just doesn’t want to drink blood. He’s trying so hard to be human, he’s doing everything he can to be human. Drinking blood is not a human activity!
And he hates the taste of it!!! That’s why he settled with tomato juice, because it actually tastes good!!! Why should he have to do something he can’t even-
“Your turn.” Kaoru walked past Rei brooding on the couch and ruffled his hair, drawing him out of his thoughts for the moment. He looked up, lifting his head out of his hands, just when had he slouched over? He probably looked just as crazed as he felt. “Don’t think too hard in there, you might overheat.” Kaoru smiled.
Rei huffed a laugh, relaxing his shoulders a bit. “Yeah, of course.” He stood up with a few joint cracks and began to walk up the bathroom-
“I’m serious though. Try to sit while you’re in there, and leave the door unlocked, okay?” Kaoru dropped his smile. Ah, alright.
“Mm, of course.”
The shower was nice, he supposed, though it would be quicker to stand, sitting at least gave him time to think again. He really could just ask. It doesn’t need to have some special occasion. Though it’s kind of embarrassing at this point to admit defeat, after being urged to do this from family and friends for so long now. And again, sometimes just the smell of blood was enough to upset his stomach, thinking about the smell is even-
A trail of blood running down the drain with the water appears and it startles him, jumping back a bit to try and locate where the bleeding is coming from, knocking some bottles down in the process. He lifted a hand to his face and sighed as he drew it back. A nosebleed. Okay, sure, this might as well happen.
The bathroom door opened a crack. “You alright?” Right. The noise.
“Yea-” A cough, “Yeah I’m fine- Nosebleed.” He breathed in, head going light. “Could you come turn the water off, dear.” He lifted a hand to his head. A vampire who can’t even look at blood, how inane.
Kaoru opened the door further and walked in, opening the curtain on the side closer to the valve to shut it off. “Are you alright?” He asked again.
“A bit lightheaded is all, mind getting me some tissues?” He did his best to keep his head tilted downward until Kaoru pulled the curtain back, sitting on his knees, with a few tissues in hand. Instead of letting Rei take them from him, he instead reached in himself to block the nostril the blood was coming from.
“I told you not to think too hard.” Kaoru laughed, using his other hand to cradle Rei’s head. Rei leaned into his touch instinctively, doing his best to keep his head lowered. “It’s hot in here too, were you trying to instigate a nosebleed?” 
Rei glowered at him, taking a deep breath in. It was a joke, he understands, and Kaoru simply chuckled at the stare. He pulled the tissue away momentarily to assess the bleed, then quickly repositioned it to a cleaner area to hold against the nostril again. Rei sighed, his health was never going to be easy, was it?
-----------------------------
Rei lie on his back on the bed, shirtless as he didn’t want to risk staining any shirts, fingers interlocked over his chest as he stared up at the ceiling, wad of tissue paper plugged up his nose to get the remaining blood taken care of. Kaoru entered the room after a few more minutes, bringing with him some tart slices that he had bought earlier that day.
“I got one for both of us~! Recovering from a shower nosebleed seems fitting time to eat it!” He smiled and sat on the edge of the bed. “Usually eating in bed is against our rules but what’s the harm in bending this once?” He set the plate down on his lap and patted the spot next to him. “Come, sit.”
“…I…” Rei squinted with tightly knit brows, not looking away from the ceiling.
“Hm?” Kaoru was already picking up his slice to eat.
Rei stayed silent a moment before finally shifting his gaze to Kaoru. It softened when he saw how content he was with the bite he’d taken, a small smile stretching across the blond’s lips that he probably didn’t even notice he had. He opened his mouth again, then closed it when nothing came out and turned back to the ceiling.
Kaoru’s head tilted. “Babe, I’m not a mind reader, and if I was, your’s would be impossible anyways.”
“…” Rei turned his head completely away, embarrassed just a little. “I need blood.” It was quiet, small, not meant to leave this one piece of furniture. He refused to look in Kaoru’s direction. He could already feel his gaze on him and he wasn’t really keen on the teasing that would follow.
But there wasn’t a verbal response, he heard some movement, likely Kaoru setting the plate down, then felt the bed move as slowly his light was obstructed. Kaoru’s hand landed next to his head and he frowned, still refusing to look up at him.
“You open yourself up to me and yet refuse to look at me? You wound me, Rei-kun.” Kaoru sighed. Using the hand on the opposite side of Rei’s face, he lifted Rei’s chin to face him upwards, smiling a little at the blush covering his cheeks, then frowned when Rei still focused his gaze on the wall. With a huff, he pulled his waist up further onto the bed and placed his legs on either side of the vampire, sitting down onto his stomach. “What’s a guy got to do to get even a glance, huh?” He scowled as he watched Rei’s gaze shift not towards him, but upwards to further avoid looking at Kaoru.
Rei’s hands fidget on his chest, unlocking themselves to tap idly without thought. Kaoru clicked his tongue watching them, evidence that Rei isn’t entirely spaced out from the moment. In one swift motion, they’re taken from their place on his chest and pinned above his head, taking Rei off guard enough to finally look back at him with wide eyes.
“There we go~ All I had to do was surprise you!” Kaoru grinned, releasing his grip on Rei’s hands to lean in and place a kiss on his lips. “I don’t like being ignored, you know~” To punctuate, he pulled the tissue out of Rei’s nose, only taking a moment to examine how fresh the blood on it was before tossing it to the floor.
Rei watched the tissue fall to the floor with a frown. “Gross.” He couldn’t help but laugh, though, when Kaoru tried to go in for another kiss. “Hold on, hold on.” He placed a hand in front of his face to catch Kaoru’s, laughing when Kaoru still tried to push through. “Down boy!” He jokingly raised his voice.
Kaoru grinned. “Down?” The glint in his eye was mischievous. Rei sighed as Kaoru took the hand placed against his face and laced his fingers with it. “Easy command~” He followed through and started to kiss down Rei’s neck, hovering when Rei’s laugh bubbled out.
“You’re going to agitate my nosebleed, then I’m going to get blood all over the bed.” He squeezed Kaoru’s hand, using his other to slide into his blond hair.
“Oh you’ll be fine.” Kaoru hummed as he trailed further down. “We have tissues in here if it comes back.” He paused at Rei’s collarbone, glancing up at him. “It doesn’t help when you’re encouraging me, either.” He smiled, free hand aimlessly wandering Rei’s chest. Rei grinned down at him, then gripped his hair and pulled back with enough force to pull him away. “Ah!” Kaoru laughed. “Hey!”
“As much as I’d like to continue,” Rei let go of his hair to dramatically drape his arm across his forehead and closed his eyes, “I am oh-so tired from losing blood-”
“Then take some of mine.” Kaoru narrowed his eyes playfully.
Rei opened his eyes to peek down to him again. “Aside from the tart, have you eaten recently?”
Kaoru blinked, then looked up in thought. “Uhh…”
Rei clicked his tongue with a smile. “No blood drinking tonight then, dear.” He lifted his arm off his head to cup Kaoru’s cheek. “Thank you for the offer, though.”
“Come on, we’re in bed, it’s not like I’m going to go on stage right after.” Kaoru pouted.
“No, you’re still wanting to fool around though, which is still quite a rigorous activity, don’t you think?” Rei’s thumb brushed against Kaoru’s lips, which only prompted the blond to open them and take the digit into his mouth. “Kaoru-kun.”
“We can always stop if it gets too much~?” Kaoru leaned down again to be just in front of Rei’s lips. “I can be the one resting?” He lowered his voice as he lowered himself to brush lips.
Rei ran over the options in his head, subconsciously wetting his lips. Their hands let go of each other, Rei’s landing on Kaoru’s thigh and Kaoru’s coming to Rei’s face to tip him far enough to close the distance.
He still wasn’t keen on the idea of drinking blood, thinking about the taste is almost enough to make him pull away from the warmth of Kaoru’s mouth in disgust. He could feasibly take only a little bit, work himself up slowly to drinking more over time. He slowly pushed himself to sit up, Kaoru taking the hint to help ease the transfer of positions. They parted from each other temporarily to allow Kaoru to lie down and Rei to climb on top of him, then came back to each other as quickly as possible. Rei shuffled his hips further down on Kaoru so he could trail down his neck with ease.
Were they not idols, in some other universe, Rei would love to mark Kaoru up as much as possible, he hesitated in one spot on his neck and debated if it was too high up to cover with a turtleneck before deciding it was. He moved lower before taking the skin in his lips. Not biting, not here. A sigh leaves Kaoru’s mouth as Rei’s hand travels up underneath his shirt. Makeup would definitely need to be used to cover this one, but it won’t be as noticeable.
“A bit high up, don’t you think?” Kaoru carded his fingers through Rei’s hair.
Rei took a moment longer before pulling away, using both hands now to pull Kaoru’s shirt up, which Kaoru obliged and lifted his arms to remove the article. “I just wanted to do that one.” Once the shirt was removed, he moved back to where he was and traveled further, pausing once again in a spot, but this time to try and gauge where to bite. “I’ll only take a little…I’m not exactly…fond of the taste.” He hovered around a general area around Kaoru’s neck and collarbone.
“Alright, fair enough.”
“Don’t be offended if I don’t like it.”
“You’re still human, I think it’s rather normal to dislike the taste of blood.”
The reassurance was nice, it was almost the push that Rei needed to dive in. He checked the pulse in one spot and took a deep breath in before pressing his lips to the spot, then lightly placed his fangs against it. It’s not like he hasn’t bitten Kaoru before, or drawn his blood from a bite either, but those were different. Those were just bites to bite, this is fairly common practice in any couple. This bite was different, this is…
Kaoru’s fingers slowly brushed through Rei’s hair and it almost made Rei laugh. Why is the guy getting blood taken from him in such a monstrous way more relaxed about this than the one taking the blood?
No, he can’t be anxious about this when he’s already poised to strike. With another deep breath taken through his nose, he bites down, incisors piercing through Kaoru’s unblemished skin. Kaoru lets out a grunt at the bite, fingers gripping somewhat tighter into Rei’s hair. It takes everything in Rei to stay biting and let the blood into his mouth.
It wasn’t as bad as he had been dreading, not necessarily good either, but he isn’t immediately repelled by the taste and texture. It tasted like blood, that’s for sure, but perhaps it’s the thought that it’s Kaoru’s blood that has Rei thinking that it has something unique to it, a sweetness that Koga and Adonis’s blood didn’t have. The indifference didn't last for much longer, however, as the texture on his tongue began to become too much for him to handle and he released Kaoru, licking the puncture wounds as he had been taught in the past.
He pulled away completely to look Kaoru in the eyes once he was sure the blood wouldn’t flow too much more. Kaoru looked at him with a smile, eyes only slightly distant. “Are you alright?” Rei broke the silence first.
“I am, I think if you had gone any longer I would’ve had a problem, though.” He chuckled. “Are you alright?”
Rei nodded, returning Kaoru’s smile. “I am…I’m sorry, I should’ve stopped sooner, I spaced out.”
“I thought you didn’t like the taste?” Kaoru clasped his hands together to rest on his chest, mirroring Rei’s earlier pose.
“I…didn’t really. But it tasted different than I thought it would.” Rei huffed, averting his gaze. “I was distracted by that thought for a moment longer than I should’ve been.”
Kaoru chuckled. “Perhaps the necessity of it is what changed your thought process?”
“Perhaps.”
“Rei-kun.” He unlaced his fingers and slid his hands to Rei’s thighs, Rei’s gaze coming back to him. Kaoru’s smile widened, eyes squinting. “Ready to resume where we were?”
Rei blinked, then grinned back at him. “Wasting no time at all, are you?”
Kaoru’s hands traveled up Rei’s thighs to his hips. “What can I say? You’re like, glowing right now, and it’s kinda hot.”
Rei chuckled, then leaned back down to kiss him.
Kaoru doesn’t tell him that he still has blood on his chin, and when Rei’s nosebleed does come back a few minutes later, it covers up the prior blood when it leaks onto Kaoru’s face mid-kiss, making Kaoru laugh. They absolutely have to clean the sheets after this.
-----------------------------
It’s immediately apparent the next day at practice that Rei was feeling better. He was more energetic, more aware, more talkative. Koga and Adonis didn’t comment on it until Kaoru entered the practice room late after leaving his badly scheduled photoshoot and changed to a t-shirt, revealing just enough of his neck that the bite marks are visible.
Koga almost growled at him. “Why do you need to wear a collar that loose?”
He grinned. “It’s easier to practice choreography in loose clothing, isn’t it? Besides, don’t I usually wear shirts like this to practice?” He started his warm up stretches, eyeing Koga.
“So you let Sakuma-san take your blood?” Adonis chimed in to try to break up the tension.
“Mhm~ Though it’s more like he let himself take my blood.” He switched to a new stretch as he talked.
“That’s good.” Adonis smiled and looked over to Rei. “You seem a lot better.”
Rei returned the smile and began to start talking when Koga cut him off.
“Should Hakaze-san even be at practice today then?” He said it almost accusatory, pointing with his thumb over to him.
“He didn’t take a lot.”
“Mm, as Kaoru-kun says, I only took a small amount to ease myself into drinking blood. As you know, I don’t like the taste.” Rei nodded. “But yes, even that small amount did make me feel much better than I have in a while.”
“What made you decide to do it finally?” Adonis had shifted onto the floor to help Kaoru with his last stretches.
Rei hummed, closing his eyes in thought. “I am tired of feeling so weak. Kaoru-kun had me sit in the shower last night because he was worried I’d faint standing up and hurt myself. Then when I was in there, I got a nosebleed that usually wouldn’t be a problem, but since I’ve been this way, it nearly knocked me out.” He opened his eyes. “I need to do what is best for my body, I suppose.”
Adonis nodded. “I understand, I’m glad you feel better then, even if it requires doing something you don’t like. It’s like taking a medication with a bad taste.”
“Exactly, Adonis-kun.” Rei smiled.
Kaoru stood up with one last stretch. “And with Rei-kun feeling better, we should get on our practice, hm?”
“Agh, yeah we need to catch you up.” Koga groaned. “Alright. We’re moving on then.”
-----------------------------
As spring began rolling in, it became harder for Kaoru to cover up the bite marks on his neck, and they weren’t exactly keen on flaunting their relationship so publicly since they’re idols, so problem solving began. Because of Rei’s vampirism, he was able wean himself off of taking from Kaoru as often as he was—which was only every other week, changing it to every three weeks—and was able to play off his new fatigue as a sun problem, which wasn’t entirely a lie either. Supplementing it with tomato juice offered some extra relief, even if it wasn’t as good as blood.
Thankfully, there are other places to get the best blood flow that also weren’t dangerous for Kaoru. In a pinch, Rei could go for the inner elbow as if he was a doctor, though it’s not easy to bite there. If he’s well aware of what clothing Kaoru will be wearing for the next week and a half, Rei can go for practically any spot that’s likely to be mostly covered.
But the best area that is a catch all for privacy and decency, they found, was the thigh, which unless for some reason Kaoru wanted to wear more revealing swimwear, was completely hidden. Unfortunately, this required proper planning ahead, as it wasn’t something they could do last minute in a public place by sneaking away for a few moments.
“I suppose it was only a matter of time before we had to start planning our sex lives out.” Kaoru laughed as Rei dragged him to the bedroom.
Rei snorted in response. “It doesn’t have to end with sex every time, dear. We watched a movie after the last time.” He lightly pushed Kaoru to sit on the bed. “Besides, we’re not completely scheduling that out, this would be an outlier.” He lowered himself to his knees and scooted towards Kaoru’s legs.
“I suppose you’re right.” Kaoru grinned down as Rei unbuttons his pants. Rei looked up at him as he slid the jeans down. “You’re so pretty.”
Rei hummed, slipping his fingers into Kaoru’s waistband. “I’m beginning to think all this is just a means for you to get off instead of a means of me getting energy.” He slid his underwear down, revealing both thighs, one of which was still very bruised from the last feed. He heard Kaoru laugh above him.
With his own teasing remark and the bruised leg in sight, Rei hesitated as he really took in the severity of the situation again. He rested his hands on the inside of Kaoru’s thighs as he sat back on the balls of his feet with a frown. A minute passed and then there’s a hand on his chin, tilting his head to eye level. He looked past Kaoru, unable to meet his eyes all of a sudden.
“This is for you, babe.” Kaoru moved his head to try and catch Rei’s gaze. “I’m playing it up a bit, I’m sorry if it came out serious.” He smiled.
Rei still avoided looking him in the eye, staring at his forehead instead, then looked back down to his bruised leg. “Perhaps we should bump the frequency down to once a month…” He mumbled. “Or drop it entirely for the summer…”
Kaoru frowned. “It’s your life, if that’s what you want to do, we can. I’m just concerned about your energy levels if we were to drop this entirely, you’ve been much more active since we started doing this.”
He couldn’t fight the claim, this is the most awake he’s been since before the war, it’s kind of nice, all things considered. The bruises are turning green as they get closer to healing. “I don’t know.” It was hard for him to admit, he’s so accustomed to having to know everything.
Kaoru watched him for a moment, then sighed, sitting up. “Come here.” He held his arms open. “Let’s rest today, then. We have no other responsibilities until tomorrow afternoon.” Rei stood up, wrapped his arms around Kaoru, and immediately shifted all of his weight on him, causing them both to fall back on the bed. “Whoa!” He laughed, patting Rei’s back. “Hold on hold on my pants are still down-“
“Just kick them off.” Rei mumbled into the crook of Kaoru’s neck.
“Not when you still have pants on! The sensory problems I’ll have are chilling to think of!”
“Then take mine off.”
Kaoru laughed. “Fine!”
-----------------------------
As the weather cooled down again, Rei permitted himself to go back to two feedings a month, as Kaoru had begun to wear higher collars again. There was something about feeding from his neck that Rei didn’t have problems with like he had with the legs. Perhaps it was the cliche of it, or the intimacy, or the way it looks when he’s done.
It was frustrating to him how much he clearly needed the blood, life could never be simple for him. He pulled away from Kaoru with hesitation, watching the blood trickle down his collarbone for a moment. Kaoru’s hand in his hair ran through his curls lightly. It was the intimacy, he decided, that drew him more to the neck than anywhere else.
“Still find blood gross?” Kaoru whispered, not so much for privacy as they sat alone in the meeting room, waiting for their juniors, but more so from the lack of energy after having given it to Rei.
Rei licked at the wound, peppering light kisses around it. “A bit.” He murmured back.
“You’re not fooling me, you know. Perhaps you just like my blood~ I’m your exception now~.” With his other arm available now, he pat Rei’s back.
Rei chuckled and sat back, looking down at Kaoru’s face. “I didn’t take too much, did I?” He brushed some of Kaoru’s hair out of his face.
“I didn’t eat necessarily well today is all, no worries.” He let his arms fall to Rei’s thighs.
Rei idly fixed Kaoru’s collar to cover the bite, mainly to make sure it’s coverable. “And you let me drink from you? Bad Kaoru-kun.”
Kaoru opened his mouth to speak when the meeting room door opened, Rei quickly threw himself down next to Kaoru on the off chance it wasn't Koga and Adonis coming in. Koga paused at the door at the sound of Rei hitting the couch quite heavily.
“Should I be concerned?” He eyed them, watching Rei sigh.
“No, I was just being safe.” Rei smiled.
“You have blood on your chin, it wouldn’t have worked.” Koga sighed as he walked in, followed by Adonis, whose eyes widened at the sight. Rei bristled and lifted his sleeve to wipe at it, lightly slapping Kaoru’s arm.
“I wanted to see how far into the meeting we’d get before you noticed.” Kaoru grinned. “Thought it’d be funny.”
Adonis sat down across from them. “I fear it wouldn’t have lasted very long.”
Koga closed the door before sitting beside Adonis. “You two are disgusting.”
“You say that yet you haven’t complained about Rei not being active recently, so you have to pick~” Kaoru shot him a very cheeky grin.
“What is this, a game? I have 0 control over you freaks.” Koga scoffed. “You know, when you stopped flirting with girls I was glad because it made you less annoying, then you immediately began flirting with Sakuma-san-“ He squinted. “And you just dropped the honorific! Shameless!”
Kaoru cackled at his response, throwing his head back as his chest shook for a moment.
“Oh my, you did drop the honorific.” Rei smiled, a hand coming up to his face to try and hide his smile.
“Both of you! Disgusting!”
Adonis smiled, letting out a small chuckle before speaking. “As fun as this interaction is, we do need to discuss funding.”
Rei beamed. “Yes yes.” He clapped his hands twice. “Serious mode everyone!”
-----------------------------
Adonis and Kaoru left the booth to go to the bathroom while they waited for their food to arrive, leaving Koga and Rei sitting across from each other. Rei hummed a song he had been fine-tuning for the last week while watching the direction of the bathroom. He faded out his humming as he glanced to Koga, feeling the other’s gaze piercing through him. “What’s on your mind, Koga-kun?”
Koga bristled for a second before sighing softly. “Are you happy? With drinking blood?” He frowned. crossing his arms.
Rei blinked, turning so he could look properly at his friend. “What do you mean?”
He slanted his lips as he thought of an answer. “You hate blood. Is it worth the energy?”
Rei thought for a moment, humming softly as he did. “I wonder the same thing, sometimes.” Is what he comes up with. “It’s different, having all this energy again.”
Koga huffed. “I don’t really think that answers the question.”
Rei closed his eyes, picturing the image of blood running down Kaoru’s neck. A year ago it would’ve made him queasy to think about drinking it, but now he felt indifferent towards it. “I guess I just don’t have an answer. It’s complicated.”
Koga was quiet, glancing to the bathroom’s direction again. “If the two of you weren’t dating, would you still do it?”
That was something that hadn’t really occurred to him. Would he? He can’t even imagine another reality where he was in this situation and he wasn’t in a loving relationship with Kaoru. He thought then about the possibility of it being Keito, or Wataru, maybe even Shu or Kanata. In each scenario, he could see it happening so long as they loved each other. “Hm…” But then again, would Keito be willing? The other oddballs would be different for sure, each one of them would have a different relationship to the act of blood drinking that just aren’t the same. “No. I think I’m only okay with it because of our relationship.”
Koga hummed. “Okay.”
“Any other questions?” Rei watched him as Koga tapped his fingers against his opposite arm. “You’re still curious, I can tell.”
“…Hakaze-san is fine with it?”
Rei laughed. “He was begging me to drink his blood, actually.”
Koga’s lips twitched almost into a smile before he caught himself. “Okay. That’s all I wanted to know.”
Rei opened his mouth to respond, only to close it as Adonis sat back down next to Koga and Kaoru next to him.
“Still no food?” Kaoru sighed. “I’m sooo hungry.”
“You went to piss, there’s no way the food would’ve come out in such a short amount of time.” Koga barked, uncrossing his arms.
“A man can hope! You’re hungry too, right, Adonis-kun?” Kaoru looked to Adonis pleadingly.
Adonis blinked, then raised his hands in defiance. “I am, but he’s right, we weren’t gone long enough.”
Rei smiled, watching the three of them bicker. It was strange to think about how distant the four of them were during school, he couldn’t imagine a world where they went their separate ways after graduation. The possibility of that was so real at one point, but now he’s sure only death would separate them, both as a unit and as friends, and these days, Rei didn’t feel that impending doom as hard as he once did.
“Rei, I can feel you thinking.” Kaoru nudged him out of thoughts. “Anything of note?” He smiled.
Rei hesitated to answer, then shook his head. “Just having my regular old man musings~ Pay me no mind, Kaoru.” Even though he had practically been waiting to drop the honorific since graduation, it still felt strange coming out of his mouth.
“Hmmm, I’ll have to pick your mind later then~” Kaoru glanced at the others, grinning when Koga made a disgusted face at them. He opened his mouth to say something more before the waiter finally came with their food. “Oh sweet!”
Rei kept his eyes on Kaoru, only glancing up at the waiter to give him a smile as his food was handed over.
Yeah, there’s no one else he would ever consider relying on for this. The only reality he cares about is this one.
“Are you not hungry, Sakuma-san?” Adonis didn’t necessarily sound concerned though, he surely understood Rei’s hesitance. He looked over to Adonis, then shook his head.
“My apologies, I was still caught up in my thoughts.” He put his hands together, said his thanks, and picked up his chopsticks, catching Koga shake his head at him out of the corner of his eye.
No other reality would be better than this one.
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stereden · 10 months
Text
Of AI, Chatgpt and fandom
So, I’m finally getting around to writing that post I mentioned on AI, Chatgpt and fandom, and in particular fanfiction. There have been a lot of very good posts on the topic that I encourage you to check out (here  ; here and here among many others)
I’ll preface this by saying that, as far as I know, my writing hasn’t yet been fed into an AI for an ending or alternate version. But I know it’s happening with other people’s fics, and I know it might happen to mine at some point. The very idea of it makes me sick, hence this post. The ‘you’ I’m addressing in this isn’t a specific person: it is targeted at anyone who is thinking about feeding my works into something like chatgpt, and anyone who might have already done so.
Let me be very, very clear right from the start: I do not consent to any of my works being fed into any AI, be they chatgpt or similar bullshit, just as I do not consent to anyone plagiarizing my fics, writing their own endings of my fics or trying to dictate what that ending should be. Anyone doing that with my fics is rudely invited to go sit on a cactus and never interact with me or my works ever again. I don’t give a fuck if you don’t plan on ever publishing that AI-generated shit you got about my work. Don’t fucking do it in the first place.
My problem is not just about my writing being used to train a computer program without my consent. That is part of my problem, obviously, but not the most important aspect of it in my eyes, and in the eyes of many other writers who have already spoken out about the problem - and by that, I mean fanfiction writers and professional, published writers.
My main issue is with the people using chatgpt to write endings or alternate versions of fanfics written by other people. 
By all means, if you want to use chatgpt for your own stories, I can’t stop you - I can and will judge you, because seriously, there are so many fics out there you can most probably find exactly what you’re looking for with some good tag filtering, and if not you can just do what the rest of us do, which is write your own. That’s how most of us got into fanfiction to begin with. Don’t use the dubious writing ability of a robot and its absolute lack of creativity that sees it cannibalize other people’s writing and frankenstein it back together. I would rather read a twelve-year old’s first ever fanfic, full of clichés and spelling mistakes, than anything written by an AI, because I know the twelve year old poured their heart and soul into it, put the time and effort into it, and that makes it so much better in my eyes.
But if you put someone else’s story into chatgpt or similar? You are dead to me and do not deserve the hard work fic writers put into their stories. Yes, even if you’re not planning on publishing the results.
Those are our stories. The ones we've put time, energy, effort in. That we've spent hours writing. Some of us have the whole plot planned out for the next thirty chapters. Some of us are making it up as we go along. Some of us are doing both. But it's still our stories. Writing them, finishing them, is our right and privilege. 
Chatgpt and similar computer programs have no clue what we have planned for the rest of the fic. They can make calculated guesses based on all the words you've just fed them and all the stories they’ve previously scrapped, but even if - and it is a big if - they do get the basic plot right, it still won't be exactly the same. It won't be the same quality, it won't be the same word choice, it won't be the exact same style.
It won't be written by us. It won't be the ending we planned or are still planning on.
You were reading that fic because you liked the plot, the characterisation, the writing style. Because you enjoyed the fruits of the efforts the writer put into it. 
And now you're asking a computer to plagiarize that same writer and ghost write you the ending? And, I'm guessing, the ending you want to see, or to rewrite the fic to your liking?
That is not okay. That is beyond not okay. I don't tolerate people trying to pass off my writing as their own. I have specifically told people they were not allowed to use certain original elements of my writing or of the plot I have come up with, because those are stories I am planning on writing myself, or background lore I have already planned for. I have told people off for trying to tell me which way my fics should go, which pairings I should write, how I write certain characters.
What makes you think I would tolerate you using chatgpt and alike to do the same? 
Because let me be clear. Using those is stealing. It’s stealing the time and effort we put into this, and selfishly feeding it all into a machine so it can spew out exactly what you want from it.
This is not you asking the writer of an abandoned fic if you could pick it up and write an ending for it. This is not you asking the writer of an on going fic if you can write a side story for it.
This is not you asking permission for anything from the writer of the fic. This is not you writing a heavily inspired fic, or even just copy pasting an entire fic into a new document and tweaking it to fit your personal desire. This is not even you writing anything.
Even if it's fanfictions, we writers still have rights to our intellectual property, to the stories we write. There is a reason AO3 reacts quickly to any complaints of plagiarism or reposted fics. There is a reason mirror sites or apps of AO3 are taken down. There is a reason writers like @neil-gaiman, @seananmcguire @dduane and so many others will never read fanfictions of their own works and have to regularly remind their own fans to stop sending them headcanons or fanfics: because even if what we write is based on their work, it’s still our ideas and if they write something too similar to the ideas their fans sent them, there could be legal consequences. Plagiarism accusations. For similar ideas. Not even the exact same words. Ideas. Yes, even for fanworks.
There is the plagiarism issue, as I just mentioned, but there is also the respect issue. You obviously don’t respect my writing, if you’re so quick to feed it to an AI just because you’re not getting exactly what you want right this second. You obviously don’t respect me, as a person or as a writer either, if you’re willing to disregard all the time, effort and thought I put into my work.
Yes, sometimes fics are abandoned, and you really, really want to know how it would have ended. Sometimes, the writer fell out of the fandom, sometimes real life got busy, sometimes you never know. Sometimes they died, and we mourn their silence. Often, an explanation is never given. Sometimes they reappear years later, sometimes they don’t. It’s a fact of life, a fact of fandom.
I myself have stories I haven’t updated in years that I still have plans for, that I haven’t abandoned but that I just need time and inspiration to continue writing, and yes I know I have people who want to know what happens next. Some of these people are more polite about it than others. Some act like entitled spoiled brats and get their comments deleted because I’m not here to cater for them.
No amount of time passed since the last update makes it okay to use something like Chatgpt to finish their stories. At the very least, have the decency to respect the effort they put into it and write your own version, yourself, and keep it to yourself. 
Or, if they're available/if you're able to contact them, ask the writer for permission to write a continuation, or a fic based on their own, with proper credit given and a link back to the original! Or even ask them POLITELY how the fic would have ended! Some of them will happily tell you what they originally had planned, even if they are never going to finish the fic! A writer I follow actually did that just today - updated their fics to say ‘Hey, I might never finish this, but here’s what I had planned for it in case I never come back to this.”
But don’t use chatgpt, or any similar program. 
Because if you do, what is even the point of us writing anything in the first place? 
I have been writing fanfiction for a long time. Over fifteen years. I have dealt with a lot of different readers, some way worse than the majority of them, and even then I consider myself lucky when I see what some of my fellow writers had to deal with back on ffnet, and still have to deal with on AO3. I have built a community around my fics, with my readers, and I love it. I love fandom, despite the drama that always comes with it. I love my readers, too, love their enthusiasm when I post a new chapter, love seeing their reactions and getting yelled at in the discord for leaving them off on yet another cliffhanger.
But anyone who puts my writing in an AI? I don’t love you. You have no place in fandom, and especially not in the part of it that I have built.
You make me feel sick. You make me furious. You act like you are entitled to an ending, to a continuation, to getting exactly what you want… for what? Reading my fics? Maybe leaving a comment at some point (one that probably demanded an update, or that I write your specific pairing, or that I change this character to your specifications)?
Fuck. You.
I don’t write for you. Unless I’m specifically writing a gift for someone, I don’t write for anyone but me. 
I share it on AO3 because I’m proud of what I wrote, because I think other people might like it, because I like getting feedback and interacting with others in the fandom. That does not mean it becomes your property, or that you can do anything you want with it.
I don’t get paid for writing. You are not paying me to write. You do not get to tell me what to write, or what to do with my writing, or to do what you want with my writing.
I write because I love writing, because I have too many ideas in my head and need to get them out of it, and putting words on a page is the best way for me to do that.
I don't make any money from writing, and can't afford to be a full time writer. And even if I could, unless you were my publisher and I actually had a contract with you stating that I'm being paid to write something for you, you still wouldn't get to demand updates from me.
I’ve taken to straight out deleting comments that are demanding updates or asking if a fic is abandoned. Not only are these rude, they're actively detrimental to my mental health and make me want to work on the fics in question LESS.
You feeding my work into AI? The only thing you’re doing is making me want to share my writing even less than that.
So just don’t.
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comfort-writing · 1 year
Text
Crayons and Cassettes
Chapter 6: Party at Harrington’s
You are a kindergarten teacher. Eddie’s daughter, Sage, is in your class. Eddie helps you relax after a couple grueling months.
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warnings: smoking and drinking. mental health- anxiety- is depicted. this fic will be 18+ in later chapters- minors DNI!! no use of y/n. (please let me know if I missed anything)
a/n: I feel much better about this chapter. btw I totally wanted to get it out last night but I fell asleep after work oops. let me know in the comments or my asks if you want to be added to the tag list! requests are open!
word count: 2.9k
Chapter 1 || 2 || 3 || 4 || 5 || 6 || 7 || 8 || 9 || 10 || 11 || 12 || 13 || 14 (coming soon!)
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Once school was back in full swing, you were busy, to put it lightly. Spring semester was always filled with setting up IEP and 504 recommendations for your students to be analyzed for in the first grade, as well as trying to have every student achieve mastery of all of the state standards. You had to make sure all of your students could write their name without mistakes, tie their shoes, know numbers one through fifty and the alphabet, knew a lot of sight words, and most, if not all, should be able to read basic books.
You were working hard to try and make sure that all of your students achieved. But that didn’t come without sacrifice. You and Eddie still called, but the calls were usually less than twenty minutes, as you needed to grade assignments and lesson plan for the days ahead. You still saw him at pickup line, but instead of those days where you were stressed being few and far between, they were growing more frequent.
You could tell he was getting worried about you. He’d even said it on your last phone call.
“Are you doing okay? You seem really stressed lately.” He cautioned, sounding genuinely concerned.
“Oh, I’m fine. The spring semester is always like this. I’m just not used to having such a large class size is all. They said that next year won’t be so bad. Apparently everyone decided to have babies at the same time that you did.” You joked, trying to downplay your anxiety.
“Is there anything I can do to help you out?”
“I’m not sure… just- being able to talk sometimes is nice. Allows me decompress a little. But if I think of anything else, you’ll be the first to know.”
“Okay..” He said warily, still not quite sure about where your head was really at.
You didn’t want to burden him with anything. You’d always had pretty bad anxiety, but you had learned to manage it pretty well on your own over the years. However, when life got stressful, it was more difficult to deal with, especially due to the fact that you didn’t have much time for yourself.
He’d invited you out to a little get together with his friends the other night. You said you weren’t sure, mainly because you felt like you had a pile of work that needed to get done and taking one night off might put you back. But he mentioned that you didn’t have to stay if you didn’t want to. He just wanted you to meet his friends- it was a casual hang out, nothing serious. You hesitantly agreed, thinking that maybe this might help you chill out a little bit.
It was tonight. Eddie said he’d drive you, which you appreciated, as despite you living in Hawkins since the summer, you still didn’t know your way around town outside of the main roads. You were standing in your closet, trying to decide what to wear.
Casual. Cute. Nothing too sexy or serious. Just- regular clothes. You should have something like that, right? You dug through your closet. It didn’t help that the majority of your wardrobe consisted of colorful dresses you wore to your kindergarten class. Honestly, dressing for five year olds was easier than dressing for adults, in your opinion. You decided on a pair of jeans and a light, comfortable sweater. It was nearing March, so it wasn’t snowing anymore, but it was still cold out. You put on your everyday makeup that you wore to school and tied back your hair, pulling out a few strands to frame your face. Earrings, bracelets, watch. Easy. Cute, comfortable, casual. You grabbed a pair of white sneakers and threw them on. Just as you were finishing tying your left shoelace, you heard a knock at the front door.
You answered the door, “Hey, Eds, come on in. I just have to grab my purse.” You said, letting him into the entryway.
“You look nice.” He smiled genuinely.
You were in a bit of a rush, the anxiety still having a hold on you, “Ah- thanks.” You said quickly, rushing to the living room to grab your bag. You walked back to Eddie, eyes looking a little worried, “Ready to go?” You asked, almost walking past him to head out the door.
He stopped you, placing both hands on your shoulders, “Hey.. Take a breath. Relax.” He said, taking a deep breath, eyeing you to follow suit. You did, relaxing your shoulders a bit. “This is supposed to be fun. You deserve a break. You’ve been wearing yourself out. One night off isn’t going to cause your kids to fail.” He reassured you.
You took another deep breath, “I know… I know. It’s just been a bit much is all. I want my students to succeed.”
“And they will.” He insisted. “But they can’t do that without your help. And how can you really help them if you’re so stressed all the time? You have to take care of yourself in order to take care of them.”
You sighed, “Yeah.. you’re right.” His words were reassuring enough for now.
“Okay. Let’s go have fun, yeah? And remember, if it’s too much, we can just leave. There’s no pressure for you to stay. I’ll drive you home and you can work or relax.” He said, squeezing your shoulders gently before letting go. You nodded, and he opened the front door for you, locking it behind you guys before walking you to his van.
Before you had the chance to open your own door, Eddie jogged over and opened it for you, taking a grandiose bow. You laughed, for what felt like the first time in at least a week. Ever the gentleman. He walked over to the drivers side after shutting your door, and the two of you pulled off to drive to Steve’s.
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The moment you arrived at the cute little corner lot house, Eddie jumped out and opened the car door for you, taking your hand and helping you out of the car. He gave it a quick squeeze before letting it go.
You guys walked up to the door, and Eddie just waltzed right on through the door. You felt bad just walking into a strangers house, so you stood in the doorway for a moment. “Sup Harrington, you big lug.” Eddie laughed, wrapping an arm around Steve’s shoulder and bending him to ruffle his hair. Steve laughed and shoved him off, then noticed you in the doorway.
“Hey, come on in, don’t be shy.” He smiled warmly.
You stepped further into the entry way and shut the door behind you. Steve walked over to you and stuck his hand out, shaking yours politely, “Steve. Nice to meet you.” You told him your name and once you’d been introduced, Steve and Eddie walked you to the living room to meet the rest of the group. Everyone seemed warm and welcoming enough.
The younger bunch were back for spring break, so everyone had a lot to catch up on. You mainly listened to the conversation, just taking everything in. You sat at the end of the sofa, with Robin next to you and Eddie squatted on the arm rest. You’d been chatting with her, finding out the two of you had a lot in common.
“You want a drink?” Robin offered, getting up to go grab one for herself.
“Uh, sure. What do you have?” You asked.
She reached her hand out, you took it, and she helped you off of the couch, “We’ve got a lot, and I’m not even sure what all there is.” She chuckled as you followed her to the kitchen. She swung open the fridge like she lived there and reached in the back, grabbing a beer before leaning on the freezer and allowing you to scan the contents. You grabbed some premade cocktail in a can before shutting the door.
“So.. you and Eddie, huh?” She asked, wiggling her eyebrows at you.
You couldn’t fight the red tint that flooded your cheeks, “Ah- well.. not really?” You said, shrugging your shoulders.
Robin frowned and cracked open her beer, taking a swig, “What’s the holdup? He’s like, toootally into you. And if I could bet on it, I’d put down money and say that you’re into him.”
You sighed, “That’s already been established.”
She gave you a confused look, “So.. why aren’t you two a thing?”
“My job. Unfortunately, it’s like, illegal for me to date a parent. Plus, in this town, it’s not like we can be secretive about it- gossip runs rampant.”
“Ah- yeah, I guess that makes sense. Don’t worry., my lips are sealed”
“Thanks. But it still kinda sucks though.” You chuckled, bumping her shoulder
“I feel that. When I was in college, my girlfriend and I had to be like, mega-cautious around everyone. I know it’s not the same, but I know what it’s like to have to hide how ya feel.” She reassured.
“Thanks Robin.” You smiled, taking a sip of your drink.
She nodded and the two of you walked back to the couch, finding Eddie laid out where the two of you previously sat. Robin groaned and shoved him, trying to get him to move off of the couch. He rolled off, hitting the ground with a thud, and you and Robin quickly scrambled over him and into your seats, giggling. Eddie laughed and pointed an accusatory finger, “I knew I shouldn’t have introduced the two of you.”
You and Robin shared a knowing look and laughed, watching as he got up off of the ground and moved to sit on the armrest once again, leaning against the back of the couch and resting his arm on the cushion above your shoulder.
After a while of sitting and listening to his buddies laugh and tell old stories, with you chiming in at certain points, Eddie leaned down to whisper in your ear, “I’m gonna go out back for a smoke. Want to come with?” He asked.
You nodded and followed him through the house and onto the back patio. You sighed into the cold March air, seeing your own breath. He took a cigarette and a lighter out of his jacket pocket. He offered you one, to which you politely declined, before lighting it and taking a drag.
“You having a good time?” He asked, leaning over the patio’s railing and looking into the backyard.
You matched his position, “Yeah. Your friends are really nice.” You smiled.
“I’m glad you’re enjoying yourself. You deserve to.” He told you, leaning over and bumping your shoulder with his own.
You hummed and looked up, seeing the starry sky. It made you feel small, but not in a bad way.
“Just think, only two more months and you’re home free.” He mused.
You giggled, “You mean we’re home free.”
He smiled, “Well yeah, but I was mainly talking about you. You’ve been so stressed lately with all the hard work you’ve been doing.” He paused, looking over to you, “I’ve been worried about you. I mean, I haven’t known you that long, but I can tell that all of it has had an effect on you.”
You sighed, turning around to face the house. You placed your hands on your face and dragged them down, “I know.” You grumbled, your voice muffled by your hands. You let them fall and rested your elbows on the railing, leaning back. “I just feel like I haven’t had a moment to breathe since January. Spring semester is normally stressful, but it’s usually not this bad.”
Eddie nodded, taking another drag of his cigarette, letting you continue.
“I just- anxiety is a bitch, you know?”
Eddie laughed at that, coughing through it as the smoke spilled from his lungs. “Boy do I know it.” He said, once he’d gained his bearings. “But like I said, only two more months. You’re almost there. And really, I know I’ve already said this, but if you need any help with anything, you let me know, okay?”
You nodded and leaned your head on his shoulder, “Thank you, Eddie.” You whispered. He smiled and kissed the top of your head before laying his own on top of yours. The two of you stayed like that for a few minutes, enjoying each others silent company as Eddie finished his cigarette, making sure to blow the smoke away from you.
He snubbed out the end of his smoke in the little ashtray on the railing before looking down at you, “Ready to go back in?” He asked quietly.
“Do we have to? This is so nice.” You pleaded.
“You’re shivering. You’re going to freeze to death.”
“Ugh, fine. If we have to.” You groaned dramatically.
He laughed and wrapped his arms around you, rubbing your arms quickly to warm you up, “Come on, cutie.” He said, walking you back inside.
You laughed as you two walked back into the house, feeling yourself begin to defrost as you walked back to the living room together. You plopped back down next to Robin and she gave you a silent wink, to which you rolled your eyes and smiled.
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Around ten, everyone was heading out, so you and Eddie followed suit. You said goodbye to everyone, you and Robin exchanging numbers, and Steve giving you a big bear hug. Eddie walked you out to his van, opening the door for you before climbing in himself. The two of you drove home, laughing and recalling funny things that people had said that night, listening to the radio on a low volume.
Once he pulled up to your house, he walked you to your door. “Hey, thank you for tonight. I had fun.” You smiled, leaning against your door frame.
“Me too. I’m glad you came along.” He had one hand in his jacket pocket as he used his thumb to fiddle with the rings on his other hand.
You looked up at him. He looked so handsome in the moonlight. You looked around for a moment, taking in that nobody was on the street and the neighbors’ lights were off.
“Are they planning anything like this again soon?” You asked.
“Not that I know of, but I’ll let you know when we do.”
You nodded, taking a step closer to him. “Really.. thank you.” You said sincerely as you wrapped your arms around him in a hug. He was a little surprised, but he hugged you back, wrapping one arm around your waist and using the other to rub your back.
To an outsider, the hug may have look like it lasted too long, but neither of you cared. You just enjoyed each others warmth and physical contact in that moment. You could have been there forever and neither of you would have noticed.
You pulled away slightly, looking up at him. He smiled softly down at you. You glanced around one last time before looking back up at him. You could have cut the tension with a knife.
After a moment, Eddie bent down and whispered in your ear, “You’re making it very hard not to kiss you right now.”
You squeezed him closer, taking a steady breath before whispering back, “I never said you couldn’t.”
He pulled back and looked around like you had already done, making sure nobody was around. Your porch light was off, so nobody could really see you guys anyways. He looked back at you for confirmation that this was okay. You nodded.
He didn’t waste another moment before leaning down and capturing your lips in his own, moving one hand to hold your cheek as he did so. His lips were warm and soft and he tasted faintly of cigarettes, but you didn’t mind. You felt like you were surrounded by him: his lips, his hair, his tall and lean figure. He smelled like smoke and some sort of warm and spicy cologne.
He kissed you gently, not looking for anything more than this. You melted into it, your arms wrapping around his shoulders lazily. Neither of you knew how long it lasted, it could have been a second or it could have been an eternity. But when he pulled back, the both of you feeling a little breathless, it felt too soon.
The two of you shared a look before smiling at each other. He leaned down and kissed your temple sweetly before he pulled away, your arms falling to your sides and feeling empty. “I’ll see you tomorrow at pickup?” He whispered.
You nodded dumbly, and watched him step off of your front porch. “Good night, beautiful.” He said with a wink, heading back to his car. You wanted to say good night as well, but you felt as though your voice would betray you in that moment, so you silently unlocked your door and walked inside your house, locking it behind you.
You leaned against your front door, taking a moment to let it all sink in.
Man, you felt like a teenager again.
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Tag list: @mcueveryday @bebe0701 @emma77645 @edsforehead @manda-panda-monium @nina211544
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nagito-kissmaeda · 2 months
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if it isn't real, why does the sun still burn?
CHAPTER ONE: Rise and Shine CHAPTER TWO: i guess its all up to me now CHAPTER THREE: Predictably, everything gets worse CHAPTER FOUR: good morning CHAPTER FIVE: Something to eat CHAPTER SIX: a start CHAPTER SEVEN: the party don’t start ‘til CHAPTER EIGHT: your full hospitality CHAPTER NINE: visitation rights CHAPTER TEN: gamer girl moments CHAPTER ELEVEN: prank patrol CHAPTER TWELVE: lets go to the beach beach
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Summary : Like most people visiting this tag. You have always dreamed of meeting Nagito Komaeda for real, what you would do, what you would say? Things don’t go as planned.
AKA: Reader from our universe ends up in danganronpa and is just trying her best to keep everyone alive. and maybe to make komaeda kiss her.
Contains: she/her pronouns
Read on Ao3
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Your legs ache like hell when you walk over to the restaurant for breakfast. You almost forgot that you even needed to go, it’s been almost a week since you last ate with everyone and you had half expected Komaeda to drop by with a plate of food like he used to. It is nice to finally have your freedom again, but it does also make you feel even more nervous than usual. Luckily you don’t bump into anyone on the way over, the prospect of having to make small talk after the day you just had is daunting, you just hope that everyone is going to be nice at breakfast.
Heading up past the pool, you take a quick moment to look up at the sky, shielding your eyes from the sun with a hand. The weather is perfect as always, with just enough clouds to keep the heat from being unbearable, but otherwise, the sky is nearly unsettlingly blue. It seems brighter, more vibrant than you are used to. You can’t help musing, are these oddities a byproduct of the Neo World Program? Or of whatever universe the Danganronpa series exists within? You sigh, letting your hand fall back to your side and walking to the front door of the lobby. It’s cool inside, and you realise that you probably can't put off going up to the restaurant anymore, even though you are kind of dreading it. Chewing on your lower lip, your fingers subconsciously move to the sticker on your chest. Still there, though you suppose if it wasn’t you’d be dead. 
Putting those unhelpful thoughts aside, you square your shoulders and start heading up the stairs. As you get closer to the top, you can hear the sounds of people chattering, it sounds like the class of 77-B is still in good spirits. You like to think that you have had at least a hand in that, even if they don’t realise it. No one turns to look at first when you reach the top of the stairs, so you hope to sneak in quietly and maybe sit down next to Koizumi or Sonia, but the second he catches sight of you, Togami stands up from his chair and clears his throat. Everyone’s eyes immediately turn to you, and you freeze in panic.
“Welcome back.” Togami says loudly, so loudly it booms through the room, “As prefaced yesterday, we are no longer harbouring any undue suspicion for you, especially given the overwhelming evidence in your favour.” he crosses his arms before turning to look at the rest of his classmates, “I expect that we all treat them as we would anyone else on this island. Teamwork is our greatest asset at this time, and if anyone should have any grievances, I ask that they come directly to me.”
He stares at you for a moment, and you are so overwhelmed by his impromptu speech that it takes you a few seconds to even realise what is happening. “Oh!” You exclaim, quickly dropping into a low bow, “Thank you, Togami-san! I am glad to be back!” In the corner of the room, you hear Saionji scoff and mutter, “Kiss-ass…”
You ignore her, instead walking over to one of the empty tables. Koizumi gives you an apologetic look before returning to her conversation with Saionji, and you’re grateful for that. You don’t even know what you should be planning for next. The next motive is despair disease, but you aren’t even sure if Monokuma will release it when the hospital is still inaccessible. 
Oh fuck, what if he does? If Komaeda gets seriously sick, there won’t be much Tsumiki can do without proper medical equipment. If he dies of despair disease…what does that even mean for the killing game? You clutch your head in your hands and squeeze your eyes shut, this is the absolute worst , all you can do is wait around and just hope that everything turns out okay.
Just as you start spiralling, two people take up the seats across from you. Causing you to slowly peer up from behind your hands.
“Oh, Hi!” You say (a little too loudly) trying to seem like you are totally cool and normal.
It’s Hinata and Tsumiki, the latter looking even more despondent than usual. 
Hinata raises his hand in greeting and gives you a lopsided smile, “Monokuma got to you, huh?” He asks, gesturing to your new accessory.
You wither, sinking back into your chair, “Yeah. He did.” you look around the room briefly, noticing everyone is staring before they quickly turn back to their meals, “Um. Did…everyone already know, when I got here?” Hinata rubs the back of his neck and averts his eyes, “Yeah our uh, our handbooks alerted us when a new rule was added, and since everyone else was already accounted for apart from you and Togami-san, well-” he smiles awkwardly, “We just assumed, you know?”
Yeah. Out of you and Togami, you are definitely the most likely candidate for idiot status. 
You give him a wobbly smile in return, “Yeah, no worries. A reasonable assumption.” “If-um…” Tsumiki starts, “If you don’t mind. Why did he give you the sticker?” “I fell for a stupid prank.” You say truthfully, “It was really embarrassing, I’d rather not talk about it.” “O-Oh…” Tsumiki says, hanging her head low, “I’m sorry for upsetting you.” “No, it’s okay! I understand why you would be curious, I’m not upset with you.” She tucks some of her long purple hair behind an ear, and sighs, “Thank you. I do have m-more important things I have to say, though.” She takes a moment, picking at her cuticles as she tries to find the right words. Hinata gives her a comforting pat on the shoulder and she smiles up at him before turning back to you. 
“I-I’m so sorry for whatever part I had in g-getting you framed for attempted murder!” She says quickly, bowing her head low enough that she almost slams her forehead into the table, “I w-would like to be your friend, and I d-don’t want this to ruin our friendship!”
You can feel your heart unfurling with warmth inside your chest, and you are unable to stop the smile that tugs at your lips, “Tsumiki-san.” You begin, reaching across the table and taking one of her hands between both of yours, “We’re still friends! Everyone was really scared and confused about what happened that day, I can’t blame you for saying what you did at the time.” 
She sniffles a little, peering up at you from underneath her choppy bangs, “Are you sure? Th-That’s the sort of thing that I’d expect someone to hate me over.” You nod, “I couldn’t hate you! Remember the first day we arrived here? I wouldn’t have made it safely back to my cottage without you, and my sunburn would have been so much worse without you looking after me.” you give her a warm smile, “You’re a very good nurse, you know that, right?” Tsumiki shyly returns your smile, you can see tears beading in her eyes, but she blinks them away, “I’m relieved. Thank you for being so kind to me.” “Don’t mention it.” You reply, giving her hand a firm pat before releasing it, “I’m just happy to be back, I was getting a little lonely.” Hinata grimaces, “Yeah…about that…” he fiddles with his tie a little, “I have some…questions? I guess?” You feel your heart drop like a rock, but still manage to reply, “Oh okay!” “I don’t want to sound like I'm accusing anyone of anything but-” he pinches the bridge of his nose, “What do you think of Komaeda-san?” Oh no.
Oh no oh no oh no. 
The absolute last thing you need is anyone else keying into Komaeda’s whole deal because that means the loss of a valuable ally, growing tensions within the group and the potential for murder or many other even worse possibilities that you haven’t even considered yet. 
You can feel your hands shaking, and keeping your expression neutral is no small feat, but you do it, “Oh, Komaeda-san? Well it was very nice of him to let me stay with him, but he was out talking with everyone else most of the time, so we didn’t chat much.” Your cheeks hurt from the fake smile you are forcing, “Why do you ask?” Hinata shuffles forward in his seat and leans on his elbows. You follow suit, leaning in close. You notice Hinata’s eyes darting around the room, and the nervous bob of his adam’s apple, “He’s…weird, right?” Weird. Yes. You can work with weird. 
“Hm, I suppose he can be a little strange sometimes? He laughs a lot, but I just think he isn't used to socialising.” Hinata’s brow furrows. For a moment his mouth opens like he is considering asking you something else but thinks the better of it. 
“Was that…all?” You ask, praying that he will just stop looking so deep in thought for a moment. Based on his expression, Hinata looks like he is trapped deep in a logic dive right now, “Hinata-san?” You try, hoping to break him out of it. 
He blinks a few times, and then chuckles uncomfortably, “Sorry about that, just thinking some stuff over.” What stuff? You want to ask. It’s not like you think Komaeda is a murderer or anything right? 
Instead, you stay quiet, smiling as Hinata gets up from the table, “Anyway, will I see you at the beach later today?” he asks. “Oh yeah! You will!” You reply, “I almost forgot!” Tsumiki titters politely behind a hand, “I h-hope you don’t forget. I would love to spend some more time with you.” Grateful for a reason to stop stressing re: Hinata, you turn back to Tsumiki, “Then I’ll be sure to see you there!”
***
A few hours later, you sigh as you frown at yourself in the mirror. Even though it fits surprisingly well, you are still not happy to be wearing a swimsuit, all that really means is so much more skin that you need to try and get sunscreen on. It’s a lot of work, but the idea of repeating those first few days with that terrible sunburn is daunting, so you suffer through the lesser of two evils. Just before getting changed you found that Monokuma had ‘helpfully’ left a stack of idiot stickers on top of your dresser, so that way you will never be without one, not matter what you are wearing, it sticks surprisingly well to the material of your swimsuit, and you sense that Monokuma has taken great care to ensure it won’t fall off, even in the water. 
You are in a bad mood, which is unfortunate given that just after breakfast Mioda quickly announced that she was expecting to see a ‘totally rad turnout’ down at the beach and it wouldn’t do you any good to not make an appearance, especially given everyone's tenuous trust in you at this point. 
You huff and shove one of your sundresses (also affixed with another sticker) over the top of your swimsuit to take off when you get to the beach and tuck a folded towel under your arm. It is unlikely that you will manage to have any fun.
Unfortunately, you can’t stop thinking about your encounter with Hinata at breakfast. Though you are sure that Komaeda isn’t actively trying to make anyone think he planned the attempted murder, especially since that would prevent him from making nice with all the other Ultimates, there is the distinct possibility that Hinata has been thinking over the events of that night. Like Komaeda mentioned so many days ago, even a small thought about just how the power outage was caused puts him right in the firing line. 
This is bad for you. While Komaeda doesn’t necessarily like you, he is at least interested enough in what you are doing to not ask too many questions. Apart from Nanami, there are very few other members of class 77-B that you can trust to just… let you do your weird bullshit without at least asking how you know all this stuff. 
You almost consider bailing on the beach outing altogether, despite how much of a bad look it would be. Before you are able to make a decision one way or the other, you are interrupted by a knock on your door. Sighing aloud, you head over to it, surprised to find three people on the other side when you pull it open.
“Oh wow, um, hi everyone?” 
“WAHOO!” Mioda exclaims, “It’s Ibuki’s BESTIE!” “Wahoo…” You reply back, barely able to match even a tenth of Mioda’s enthusiasm, “I wasn’t um- expecting any of you.” Sonia quickly steps around Mioda, taking one of your hands between both of hers and smiling, “I hope it wasn't too presumptuous, but you’ve been without company for so long and we thought you might like some friendly conversation on your way to the beach.” “Oh…” You breathe, feeling any tension in your shoulder quickly melt away. Sonia has an energy so calming that it's utterly contagious, “Thanks for thinking of me, that sounds nice actually.” Sonia beams, “Stupendous!” “STOOPYENDUS!” Moida cries, pushing Sonia out of the way so she can grab you by the waist and hoist you up in the air. You let out a panicked shriek and the third member of your visitors finally speaks up. “Put her down before one of you gets hurt, Mioda-san.” Pekoyama says quite seriously. 
Mioda huffs, but does as asked. Once back on the ground again, you realise that you haven't seen all that much of Pekoyama so far. You had been expecting to confront her and Kuzuryu after the motive was revealed, but Togami’s quick action negated that issue almost immediately. 
All three of the girls are dressed in their swimsuits, just like in the game, Sonia has opted to wear a full wetsuit, which you can only assume is what she is used to wearing when swimming in the freezing Novoselic waters. 
Pekoyama has an incredibly oppressive stare, the bright red hue of her irises only make it worse. She’s also an absolute beauty, with strong arms and broad muscular shoulders. Her swimsuit leaves little to the imagination and you have to awkwardly swallow and avert your eyes to prevent yourself from getting an eyeful.
“We should go.” She says, crossing her arms over her chest, “We don’t want to be late.” Sonia nods, “Yes, yes, you’re right. At this rate all the boys are going to beat us there.” Mioda tosses her head back in a laugh and yells, “Not if Ibuki can help it!” before entirely forgetting that she was supposed to be keeping you company and sprinting off towards the beach as fast as she can. “Oh! Oh no!” Sonia says quickly, “You’ll have to excuse me, but I think someone needs to supervise Mioda-san.” She starts running, and she somehow even manages to do that with perfect posture, before she gets too far away, she calls back to you over her shoulder, “I’ll see the two of you there! My apologies!” 
“Well.” Pekoyama says, watching Sonia quickly dash away, “It will just be the two of us, then.” 
You laugh nervously, “Looks like it.” Without a word, Pekoyama starts striding towards the beach, and you have to jog a little in order to catch up. To her credit, she does peer down at you and slow her gait once she realises you are having difficulty keeping up. 
“I-” Pekoyama begins, clearing her throat, “-am not a great conversationalist.”
“Oh, um- that’s okay! We don’t have to talk.” Pekoyama hums, fiddling with the end of one of her braids, “I would like to try, if that is alright with you?” Sneaking a glimpse at her face, you see that she is purposely looking away from you with a nervous pink on her cheeks. You’ve always had a soft spot for Pekoyama, she’s one of your favourite characters, so the fact that she even wants to try talking to you means a lot. Especially since you know she doesn't talk all that much. 
“Sure.” You reply, “I can start if you want?” She chuckles, “Please.” You think for a moment, and then gently ask, “Did you go to the beach often? Before all this mess, I mean?” “No.” Pekoyama replies quickly, “Not unless I was there for training, though I did most of my cardio in swimming pools instead of the ocean.”
She does not ask a follow up question, so the conversation hangs awkwardly in the air. There is no sound but the crunch of your feet on the gravel underfoot and the occasional cry of a seagull. It is, admittedly, a nice walk even in silence. Plus, now that you have been far more diligent with sunscreen, you are free to enjoy the warmth of the sun without fear of further burning. It does feel a little awkward though, and you are unsure if the conversation is over, or if you should prompt Pekoyama to keep talking. Luckily, after a few silent minutes, you see her stiffen beside you. 
“I’m sorry.” She says, laughing to herself “I forgot to ask you a question, I told you I’m terrible at this.” she hums a moment, and then asks, “Do you find it easy to make friends?” You blink. That question was much more complex than your silly beach question, “U-Um, I don’t really know? It’s kind of hard to explain.” You wring your hands together, “I’m not very good at approaching people, because I don't want to bother them, but if someone talks to me first, I’m usually okay. If that makes sense?” Pekoyama nods slowly, “I…suppose it does.” “It’s really easy to be friends with Mioda-san, for example. She puts in most of the effort, which means there is less for me to worry about.” You kick a wayward stone with your foot, “Have you made any friends since we’ve been here?” Pekoyama stops walking, “Just the one.”
Oh, Kuzuryu. You think to yourself. It makes sense that she isn't putting too much effort into socialising outside of him, but it’s still sad to think about. When you played the game, you always spent heaps of Free Time Events speaking with Pekoyama, but it looks like the real Hinata has his priorities set elsewhere. 
Your heart races a little, considering that usually, without your intervention, Pekoyama wouldn't even have survived until today. With this extra time she’s been granted, it would be a shame if she spent it all alone, right? Resting a shy hand on her forearm, you say, “Well, I’d like to be your friend, if you’ll have me.” Pekoyama’s eyes widen a moment, and her lips curl up in what is almost a smile, “Despite my awful conversation attempts?” You laugh, “Because of them, actually. I can tell that you’re trying, there are plenty of people out there who wouldn't even do that.” You can’t help breaking into a smile, “I’m sure you’ll get better at it too, and there are lots of people on this island who would be willing to help teach you.”
“Thank you.” She says, looking up at the sky, “That sounds nice.” “You should talk to Tanaka-san.” You offer, continuing on your walk towards the beach, “He’s a bit eccentric, but he’s very good at talking so long as you have nice things to say about his hamsters.” Pekoyama smiles brightly this time, it's a good look on her, her eyes crinkle in the corners, “I…have always wanted a pet.”
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