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#and ensure a long term music career and success for him
tarotwithlove · 1 year
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fame and work ethic in the natal chart #1 ⋆ mark lee
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this is motivated heavily by junkbbykow's post and makes reference to mikaila simone's so you wanna be famous.
all mark has confirmed about his birth time is that it is “11”. i've compared both the am and pm charts and chose to stick with the 11am chart that makes him a libra rising at 5° instead of an aries rising at 17°–both of which are fame degrees, however with different connotations.
to note, the degrees that simone writes as that which indicate fame in the birth chart are 5°, 17°, and 29°, with 5° standing as an indicator of short-term fame and 17° and 29° standing as indicators of long-term fame.
before we delve into his fame degrees, as a leo mark is, and has been, destined to succeed. he is passionate in his creative endeavours and consistent in how hard he works towards achieving them. it is also a sign that embraces optimism, which puts into perspective how he is always able to look on the positive side of situations–such as nct's mismanagement, his overworking and juggling so many units, and the stress of certain schedules and scandals, to name a few. with his sun at 10° in the 10th house, he is highly intelligent and logical in his approach to his career and can account a large part of his success to the positive public image he has curated. as an example, while he mentions his desire for a solo album, he does not do it enough to cause needless drama or to detach himself from the nct brand thus alienating himself from the greater nct fanbase. he is also adept at keeping the parasocial relationship between him and his fans strong, learning how to play into it to ensure his career's longevity.
yet, this does not come from a place of malicious intent, of simply manipulating fans to succeed as may be the case for some other celebrities, but rather from the his cancer mercury. his career is not just important to him, it is him, it is his life, and, thus, he cannot separate the strength of his emotions from it. as this placement is at a fame degree of 29° it is not only what endears him to the public, but what will guarantee him long-term fame. do you hear or see people say “mark lee doesn't feel like an idol, he feels like a guy i'd have class with” or “mark has such a healing energy, he's like my best friend”? that's his cancer mercury at work. it is easy for him to create long-lasting bonds with others, he rarely has to try, because of his genuinely kind nature. in it this, made only more prominent by his leo sun and libra rising, that ensures that his fanbase not only grows rapidly but that everyone in it is closely attached to him. this will garner him long-lasting support not only from common fans but peers and seniors, all who are drawn to how open and down-to-earth he is. people will want to continue supporting him and giving him opportunities, ensuring that his fame is, in fact, long-term.
the 10th house is also a house of fame and long-term career goals. with his leo sun in this house, it can be said that mark was destined for fame and the career he now has.
with libra ascending at 5°, what we see is that mark's personability will guarantee him short-term fame. he is highly respected by his peers and seniors, with many of them wanting to collaborate with him professionally, however because of his many obligations to sm entertainment and nct he does not always get the chance to do so. as a result, his fame could be greatly hindered, at least in his youth. right now, he is at the perfect place to release a solo album or to put out more solo music and start building the foundations for a successful solo career, as he desires, but this likely will not happen because of the aforementioned obligations. i say right now, because of his success with child and his solo shoots, with how much attention he is getting from other artists, and because the older members of nct are allegedly enlisting soon.
however, there is nothing to fret about because with his true node also in leo, this solo career is destined for him. and it will be an incredibly successful one at that. as i have mentioned, mark is a stand out member of nct with many referring to him as the face of the group for how tied he is to its collective creative processes, how likable he is, and how much he has impressed people with his release of child. at 12°, we once again see his logicality towards his career. this understanding that he has a duty to fulfil right now and that as much he wants a solo career, the group comes first because it's not just his career at the end of the day.
his leo true node is also in the 11th house, a house of humanitarianism as much as it is about one's wishes for the future. he views his interpersonal relationships as important as his career and would rather put the needs of the many over the needs of the one–that is nct's success over his own. this is compounded when we are asked to remember that leo is one of the most loyal astrological signs. these are not just his co-workers but his friends, and he is committed to making sure that they all succeed. even once he is able to branch out into a solo career, it will not stop him from being a part of the group and supporting it and his group-mates in their own solo endeavours.
continuing on... mark's work ethic and propensity and potential for success is emphasised in his taurus jupiter, which is possibly the most prosperous jupiter placement one could have. with his taurus jupiter he attracts luck and good opportunities to him easily. one such example of this is in the case of his audition with sm entertainment. it was only possible for him to attend this audition because his teachers went on strike that day.
however, with his jupiter in taurus (at 4° at that) he recognises that luck is not enough and that if he wants to succeed he will have to work hard for it and be patient in seeing it all unfold. we know from his own accounts and the accounts of his peers that mark is always working hard; he is always practicing (to the extent that during his trainee years he would always win awards for practicing the most, as recounted by doyoung), going above and beyond what is expected of him, and doing so much that his group mates name him as their inspiration for how much they want to improve themselves. he knows that luck will only take him so far and where he does not have opportunities in his career, he will have to create them. an approach to his career that is made only more present by his aries moon and the passion it denotes. he desires recognition, monetary gain, and rewards for his efforts, and he will not be satisfied until he has it all.
lastly, because this is getting rather long, we will look at his cancer midheaven. this is one of his placements that are inherent indicators of fame and success. the cancer energy, again, brings mark's sensitivity to the forefront. while he desires popularity and acknowledgement, he wants to be known not only as an idol, or as someone hardworking and professionally successful, but as someone kind and compassionate. with midheaven in cancer, his career needs to fulfill him emotionally and spiritually, and once he lost passion for it he would likely move onto something else. it's difficult for him to give it his all unless his heart is completely in it.
those with cancer in midheaven also find that they need to nurture others in their professional lives in order to feel fulfilled, which aligns with how much mark needs to know his fanbase feels pleased with the decisions he makes. his messages to the fans are always filled with warmth and positivity, for example, as it is not enough for him to receive all the love and kindness of his fans without giving something back to them in return. mark's cancer midheaven, much like his leo true node, further indicates someone who stands out in his field and who is a strong leader. something that we see quite obviously see represented in mark's role as leader of nct dream. as a leader he is considerate of everyone's abilities and potential, only asking them to reach a standard he himself is willing to work towards. a mindset emphasised by the passion of his aries moon, the hunger for success of his leo placements, and the propensity for hard work as seen in his taurus jupiter.
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absolutely do not replicate. provide credit if you use any parts of this birth chart reading in one of your own.
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sweetdreamsjeff · 2 months
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Jeff Buckley: The Lost Interview
In this previously unpublished conversation from 1994, captured just days before the release of ‘Grace,’ the mythic singer-songwriter pushes through self-doubt, professes his undying love for the Smiths and New York City, and interprets a dream wherein he critiqued a serial killer’s photography. 
July 21, 2022 by Tony Gervino
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In August of 1994, I interviewed the singer-songwriter Jeff Buckley for over an hour at the New York offices of Columbia Records. Other than pulling a few quotes for a regional music newspaper profile I wrote at the time, this conversation went unused. I put the recording in a box in my closet, where it remained for a quarter-century.
I went back over the transcript a couple of years ago and realized that our conversation offered a rare snapshot of the most pivotal moment in Buckley’s too-brief career. He hadn’t yet sat for many interviews and was trying to figure out his own narrative, just before he was to leave on a national tour that would make such quiet, thoughtful introspection a luxury.
The son of folk visionary Tim Buckley, he had made his mark in New York City as a solo artist in 1993, performing a suite of original songs and genre-spanning covers with only his guitar and multi-octave vocal range. The buzz didn’t really build; it seemed as if one day no one in the city’s music scene knew who Jeff Buckley was, and the next, everyone knew. 
Prior to entering the studio to record his landmark debut album, Grace, which featured his most successful single, “Last Goodbye,” as well as his transcendent rendition of Leonard Cohen’s “Hallelujah,” Buckley mothballed his troubadour set. To help bring dimension to the music swimming around in his head, he recruited the collaborative working band of guitarist Michael Tighe, bassist Mick Grondahl and drummer Matt Johnson. He wanted his solo album to sound big, ambitious and genre-slippery as he headed to Bearsville Studios in Woodstock, N.Y.
Even though our meeting was less than two weeks before the album release, Buckley was still tinkering with the mixes on Grace, tormenting producer Andy Wallace with sonic flourishes and rewritten bridges, and hoping to squeeze every bit of inspiration out of himself before the tape stopped rolling. In the pre-streaming world, this was an unheard-of high-wire act for a debut artist. But for a young musician who was signed to Columbia Records after a prolonged bidding war, it indicated a bit of acquiescence on the label’s part. From what they’d seen of him, Buckley was a can’t-miss artist. He just needed time, which, tragically, he was ultimately denied. Jeff Buckley drowned in Memphis in May of 1997, just 30 years old. 
I’ve edited this interview for length and clarity and removed some passages where I thought Buckley’s sarcasm could be misinterpreted, or where it spun off into tangents that ended with Buckley impersonating everyone from Paul McCartney to the French poet Baudelaire. He had the nervous energy of someone about to embark on a long journey, uncertain of its destination, and I wanted to ensure his answers would properly reflect not just his wit but his wisdom. ***** How does it feel to have to do interviews?
Well, at the outset I guess I figured why would anybody care? But I’m smart enough to know that people would want to talk about my music. I just didn’t think anyone would for a publication. But at this point the fatigue hasn’t set in, and no question is a stupid one. It’s still early.
[laughs] Mainly it’s helpful because I’m getting some ideas out about exactly what I think about some things. And the important thing in doing interviews is not to have any pat answers. That would make it unenjoyable for me. Like a … a murder suspect or something, in terms of having your story straight. Have you finished mixing the new album? No, I have one last day in the studio — one last gasp of creative breath before I have to go away. I’m totally pissed. Absolutely.
Did you write in the studio, or did you go in with the songs ready?
One of them was completely organized in the studio. But that was still prepared beforehand. A lot of stuff we’d done at the last minute because I was trying to get the right people to play with, and it took a while before I found them. 
But that was only three weeks before I’d gone up to Woodstock to record and we hadn’t known each other that long, and the band material hadn’t developed as much. Some things were completely crystallized, and some things needed care, and they got it. I’m still not satisfied.
Let’s see: I get to go into the studio on Wednesday, the day before I leave and the night after I perform at [defunct NYC club] Wetlands. So I have one, two, three, four, five precious days to [work on the music], along with all the other stuff I have to do. I have to shoot some pictures, possibly for the album cover. Then at night I’m free to get these ideas together, and I’ll still have one last shot on two songs in particular. The producer [Andy Wallace] doesn’t even know what I want to do to this one song. [laughs] He’ll be horrified.
Have you played it out?
Uh-huh. There are just things I want to crystallize about it.
Is figuring songs out onstage a conscious effort on your part to fly or fail?
Yeah, because I love flying so much. But, really, it’s still a kind of discipline. I guess it’s an engagement. It’s not like having “song 1 to song 6 and then a talk.” I don’t know anybody who really does that. I know a lot of performers talk about not being so structured. … Sometimes you can see bands that have a set of songs, and that shit is dead. That … shit … is … dead.
When I perform, I’m working off rhythms that are happening all over the place, real or imagined, and it’s interactive. It’s got a lot of detail to it, so I can’t afford to tie it up in a noose, and put it in a costume that doesn’t belong on me. So yeah, it’s free but it has its own logic, and sometimes it completely falls flat on its face. But it’s worth the fall, sometimes. Because that’s life.
To me it makes sense to do things in that manner, because that’s really just the way life is when you step out of it and see that, like, your car has a flat and somebody smashed in your windshield and then, shit, you’re walking home and all of a sudden you run into somebody that turns out to be your favorite person for the rest of your life. It’s always … unfolding. You just have to recognize it, I guess. And that’s my philosophy, that I haven’t really thought about until you asked me.
Have you been a solo performer out of desire or necessity?
Both. I did it to earn money to pay rent in the place I was staying, and bills, and my horrible CD habit, and failing miserably all the time, always playing for tips and always just getting by — by the skin of my teeth.
To get this sound in order, you can have a path laid out in front of you, but if you don’t have the vehicle to go down the road you’ll never get to where you want to go. So I guess I was building the parts piece by piece or going through different forms, reforming them and trying out different ideas and songs.
How long have you been building these parts?  
Some of them I wrote when I was 18 or 19, and some of them I wrote weeks ago, and some of them I’m still writing. [laughs] The rest of this album is kind of a purging, because the rest of the albums ain’t gonna happen like this. [points to chest] You’ll never see this person again.
Who and what are you going to become, Jeff? 
I don’t know, just something deeper. Nothing alien, just something deeper. I’m just not satisfied. I’m really, horribly unsatisfied. Cause I kind of got an idea of where I want this thing to go. It’s still gonna be songs. I think about deepening the work that I do, and other problems I try to solve, like, “If I go to see this band in a loft, or if I went to see this band in a theater, and I wanted to be very, very, very enchanted and very engaged and maybe even physically engaged to where I’m dancing or where I’m moshing, what would that sound like? If I wanted to be cradled like a baby or smashed around like a fucking Army sergeant, what would that sound like?” I daydream all the time about it. And that’s sort of what I work toward. It’s more of an intimate thing.
In America the rock band is not an intimate thing, but in America soul bands are very intimate and blues bands are very intimate, like way back in the day, when people who invented blues were doing it. It’s all very interdependent and it’s all very … people had to listen to make the music. And it comes around in a lot of different ways. Things I’m doing now are pretty old-fashioned: I’m going on tour to little places to play small cafés. [He lays his itinerary out in front of us.]
What do you expect the reaction to be? You play New York City and, by now, the people here know your deal, but there are some cities where they’re not going to know.
That’s OK.
Will you tailor your performance to different tour stops? Does it change the way you perform?
Every time I perform it’s different.  
How long have you been in New York City?
Three years. But I’ll always be here. I’ll always live here.
What is it about New York?
Everything. You know all the clichés: It’s the electricity, it’s the creativity, it’s the motion. It’s the availability of everything at any moment, which creates a complete, innate logic to the place. It’s like, there’s no reason why I shouldn’t have this now. There’s no reason I shouldn’t have the best library in the country, and there’s no reason why the finest Qawwali singer in all of Pakistan shouldn’t come to my neighborhood and I’ll go see him, and there’s no reason that Bob Dylan shouldn’t show up at the Supper Club. 
There’s no reason that I can’t do this fucking amazing shit. And if you have a certain amount of self-esteem, it’s the perfect place because there’s so much. It’s majestic and it’s the cesspool of America. And there’s amazing poetry in everything. There are amazing poets everywhere, and some real horrible mediocrity, and an equal amount of pageantry. There’s also a community of people that have been left with nothing but their ability to put on a show, no matter what it is — whether it’s a novel or a performance reading on Monday night at St. Mark’s Church for 20 minutes. Where do you do the bulk of your writing?
Everywhere. You know what? Mostly it’s in 24-hour diners, on too much coffee. That’s an old Los Angeles thing.
How much does the location affect the writing?
To me music is about time and place and the way that it affects you. There’s just something about it. There’s just some spirit that somebody conjures up and then it floats out at you and helps you or hinders you throughout your life. It’s either Handel’s Messiah or it’s “All Out of Love” by Air Supply.
Music is just fucking insane. It’s everything. Music is like this: It’s always seemed to me to be one of the direct descendants of the thing in the universe that’s making everything work. It’s like the direct child of … life, [of] what being “people” is all about. It’s incredibly human but it touches things that are around us anyway. [pauses, then quietly] It’s hard to explain.
Give it a shot.
It gets into your blood. It could be [the Ohio Express’] “Yummy Yummy Yummy” or whatever. It gets in. It’s not like paintings and it’s not like sculptures, although those are really amazing and powerful. But I identify with music most.
And is live music the next degree of intensity?  
Oh yeah, if they’re singing to me. You never hear it again, but you never forget it. I mean, you never forget it. It’s like the first time your mother cries in front of you. But I like making [music] and … I want the music to live live, even be written live, so it’s always forming, it’s ever unfolding. 
The king of improvisation is [the late Qawwali singer] Nusrat Fateh Ali Khan — the most I’ve ever been filled with any performer’s energy. I have over $500 of his stuff. And I never got to see Keith Jarrett, but there was a time when he was my big hero for the same reason. Big, huge improvisation. Improvisation is something that I identify with.
Which of your new songs is your favorite? Is there one that you can’t wait to get to in your live set?
Not yet. I give each song pretty much the same attention, and I have the same reservations and the same carefulness about making sure I bring out its best. No favorites.
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What’s a song by another artist that you wish you’d written, that completely devastates you?  
Most of Nina Simone’s songs completely devastate me, although she didn’t write [most of] them. A lot of things that Dylan did are so impressionistic, even though his originals are supposed to be folky. Like “Sad-Eyed Lady of the Lowlands”: If I was a woman and he sang that to me, I’d be like, “Whatever you want, Bob. You want casual sex whenever you want it and still be with your wife? I don’t care.”
I’d like to write something like “Moanin’ for My Baby” by Howlin’ Wolf, and I’d also like to write something like [Gerry and the Pacemakers’] “You’ll Never Walk Alone.” I have schoolgirl crushes on a lot of songs that never seem to go away. Lots of Cocteau Twins. That’s somebody I got to tell exactly what I thought of them.
Where were they playing?
In Los Angeles, a long time ago on the Heaven or Las Vegas tour. I’m immensely in love with their originality, their shyness. … But … um … the Smiths! [stands up abruptly, then sits back down] I wish I’d written half the fucking Smiths catalog. There are so many: “I Know It’s Over”; I wish I’d written “How Soon Is Now?” I wish I’d written “Holidays in the Sun” by the Sex Pistols. I could go on forever, and I know you don’t have forever.
Maybe sleep on it. I’m curious, do you sleep a lot? No, I don’t.
Is your mind constantly racing? Are you always just … fast forward?
Have you ever seen those film montages when a guy’s going crazy, and it just gets faster and faster and…
Yeah, sure, that’s exactly what I mean. It’s exactly like that. It’s like, I don’t want to miss a thing, and [I get the] feeling that I will miss something. But usually I’m wrong. [laughs] But when I do sleep, I sleep hard and have the best dreams.
Do you remember your dreams?
Sometimes, and they become the basis for a lot of my learning. That comes along with my development as a human being. Lately I’ve been having a lot of killer dreams — like a killer is coming after me or I have to confront a killer. And when a killer is coming after me, what am I going to have to do? To kill him.
Interesting. What do you think that means? That something in me is going to be murdered. That a psychic killer is coming. Actually, I met him. Sometimes I meet people inside of me that don’t like me; sometimes I meet people inside of me that want to make love with me more than anything; sometimes I meet the most bizarre animals and am in the most bizarre situations. 
One dream, I met a serial killer who lived out in a small town in, like, Virginia. A small suburban town, very nice, white picket fence. And he lived in the town in a church with the pews taken out. And he was an artist.
You remember this much detail? Just wait. He was a very short young man, probably about 28 years old with thinning black hair that I think he was ashamed of. He also had all of these photos of these people mangled beyond belief, carved up, dissected alive. They were still alive in these photos, and there was a wall of all of these seductively beautiful, textured, processed black-and-white photos. One man had been made into a basket. One man had been totally deboned but still kept alive, and his skin had been made into a basket upon which his head stood, looking straight into the camera. And right before he died, this snapshot was taken. And this is what this guy’s job was. And my task in the dream, I was the person that saw this amazing horror and this amazing pain. The photographs were screaming, and all of this madness, all of this waste at the hands of this person with a warped soul.
The irony of the dream was that his self-esteem was nothing, and he was saying, “This sucks. This is horrible. I don’t even want to show you.” I was so afraid of him and wanted to keep him in the same place long enough for the police to get him and take him away — while not being killed myself. Obviously. [laughs] So in order to be cool I had to ultimately be compassionate and point out the details in the picture where I felt there was brilliance and really good workmanship — all the while feeling that I would vomit any second, all the while so scared I thought I would cry. And that was the dream. 
Sometimes I have really rhapsodic dreams, and sometimes I have little bits of memory … but lately it’s been killer dreams, and the police almost don’t come in time, although they do come in time. And then I met a woman inside me that hates me. I met the girl, I met the person that doesn’t like me, and then I met this person who was so lascivious sexually that she masturbates publicly all of the time, like she’s fixing her hair. And she looks beautiful doing it and really great, but everyone’s around her and she’s practically naked. I’m pretty transfixed by [dreams]. I link them to the way I perform. I don’t see any separation, because when you sing there’s a psychic journey that happens. 
Do you write a lot of poetry?  
I garner my songs from my poetry. If anything looks like it’s vibrating, yeah. But it’s a raw thing. 
Was the Live at Sin-é EP, released in November of ’93, supposed to hold people over until the album comes out?
No, it served that purpose, but no, it’s just because I love that place.
How often have you played there?
I’ve played there a lot. I played there for over a year. At first I couldn’t get a slot. Shane [Doyle], the owner, had too many demos to listen to. I gave him a demo and a review, which is something I never ever, ever fucking do: pay credence to any one journalist’s opinion. But this was a good review. [laughs] Some positive, some negative. Mainly the negative stuff was my fault. So I thought that maybe I could get a gig at this little place because I wanted to play in little places to establish my sound and do the work and learn how to sing the way I wanted to sing. Because I didn’t have any teachers. There were teachers around Sin-é to teach what I needed to learn, but Shane couldn’t be bothered. 
Then somebody crapped out on a bunch of Monday nights and my friend Daniel Harnett got me in. He said, “I’m doing one, and so you can do one too.” I was like, “Wow, thank you.” As it turned out, that was it. Bang! I really worked my ass off to get that gig and get others and to make money. How did you hook up with Columbia Records? They came to me. I didn’t intend for them to. I was just making music. Were they the only label that came to you? Nope. I met Clive Davis. Shook his hand. I met Seymour Stein. Seymour’s at Sire; Clive is at Arista. A lot of people were interested. I met somebody from RCA. Peter Koepke at London. Were they in the audience at your shows? Then they’d come up to you afterward? Yeah, and I didn’t really like it. I didn’t like Clive showing up in a limousine on the Lower East Side, in a fine suit. Poor guy — it was so hot in that fucking room. This was Sin-é, right? Yep, you were there — like a fucking furnace. In the middle of the fucking summer. I had my shirt off; the guy’s still in his work clothes ’cause his life is fully air-conditioned.
Did you have any misgivings about signing? Of course I did. Being brought up around the music business in Los Angeles, you see the turnover of people being signed and dropped day after day after day, and it’s all written off as a tax loss. To the company, it’s no sweat off their nose. 
But here in New York it’s more about the work, and you don’t get anywhere without the work and that’s what I was doing. But I had misgivings about the size of the places. I had misgivings about my deservedness, about how good I was. I had misgivings about who they thought I was and what they thought I was. And how I wasn’t what they thought. At all.
Which is? Don’t record companies think that every male solo performer with a guitar is the New Dylan?
No, they thought I was the second coming of Tim Buckley. [quietly] That’s what I thought they thought.
Is that a recurring worry of yours?
It was that as a child. But now I’m totally immersed in what I do. If someone asks a question about it, I just tell them as much truth about things as I know. I had no misgivings once I saw my first and only liaison to Columbia Records, [former head of A&R] Steve Berkowitz. He was there from a pretty early stage, just listening. Which is what he does. Because he loves music. And he’s smart. And he’s smart enough to work this fucking gig at Columbia and to do a good job. The personnel here [at Columbia] are what really changed my worries, but I’m really worried up until, like, now. How would you describe your sound? I can’t explain it because I’m actually confused. It’s not really a tremendous literary feat to describe it. It’s just an amalgam of everything I’ve ever loved and everything that’s ever inspired me. I’m using that now. How do the Columbia folks describe you? They don’t know. At a recent convention I played in Boca Raton for A&R folks at like 11 in the morning, the guy that introduced me said, “We really don’t know what this is. We don’t know what kind of record he’s gonna make. We just know he has to make it.” … a.k.a. “Introducing the boy genius…” I’m not a boy genius. I’m neither one, actually. But I’m aware that these people have to move units. I’m aware that this company, by inertia alone, has an agenda. That it can function without me, and I can function without it. But there’s a certain thing that I can’t have without it, and that’s making little plastic discs and traveling the world and being a musician, and they seem to want me. A lot. And I feel that where I’m going is worthwhile, that maybe when I get there this all will have been … whatever crappy shit I’ve ever done will be redeemed. Do you think you’ll ever get there? Sure. Or you’ll find me swinging from somebody’s dressing room [laughs] with a big blue arm holding a Jam tape.  
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Georg Solti Net Worth: What Are His Causes Of Death?
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Known for his performances with the opera companies of Munich, Frankfurt, and London, and for his tenure as music director of the Chicago Symphony Orchestra, Sir Georg Solti KBE was a Hungarian-born British conductor. He was educated in Budapest under the tutelage of such luminaries as Béla Bartók, Leó Weiner, and Ern Dohnányi. On October 21, 1912, he entered the world in Budapest, Hungary.
Georg Solti Net Worth
The net worth of Georg Solti, a Hungarian conductor of orchestras and operas, was $16 million when he passed away in 1997. On September 5, 1997, at the age of 84 years old, conductor and conductor Georg Solti passed away. Sir Georg Solti led opera companies in various cities all over the world, including Munich, Frankfurt, London, and Chicago. must read about this article Lee Radziwill Net Worth. The world took notice of the Chicago Symphony Orchestra and the Covent Garden Opera Company in London thanks to his direction. Throughout his lengthy career, Solti recorded more than 250 albums. https://twitter.com/wikiglobals/status/1097159287707705344 He has twice had the honor of having his version of Wagner's Der Ring des Nibelungen named the best recording of all time. Georg had the most Grammy wins and nominations for a very long time. During his lifetime, he received a record-breaking 31 Grammy Award nominations and won an even more impressive 31. you might also be interested to read about Cody Longo Net Worth. Beyonce received 32 Grammys, which put her ahead of him and set a new record for the most wins in a single year, which she set in February 2023. As of this writing, Quincy Jones has won 28 times, putting him in third place. In terms of overall success, Alison Krauss and the late Chick Corea are tied for fourth with 27 awards each.
Georg Solti Causes Of Death.
Mary Lou Falcone, his press rep in New York, said that Sir Georg died quietly in his sleep yesterday night after suffering a heart attack on Tuesday while on vacation with his wife Valerie and daughter Claudia. we hope you read about this article Robert Herjavec Net Worth. Sir Georg Solti, one of the 20th century's most revered conductors, passed away peacefully in his sleep on Friday night (December 1) in Antibes, France, while on vacation with his family. He was 84 years old.
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Georg Solti Net Worth During the 1960s, Solti presided over the musical affairs of the Royal Opera House at Covent Garden. He later became famous for elevating the status of the Chicago Symphony Orchestra to that of a world-class ensemble. Records will ensure his legacy as one of the earliest conductors whose work will be heard for generations to come. must read about this article Rey Mysterio Net Worth. More than any other conductor, Solti has won 31 Grammies, the "Oscars" of the music industry. https://youtu.be/KbqcElZkVkQ Description The documentary “Georg Solti Net Worth” is a must-see for every lover of the show. The show is about a celebrity and the causes of death the details of his net worth will make you go “Geeeeez” (even if you don’t like this expression) while viewing it. Its stunning visuals and animation effects are the result of meticulous design and development. It will keep you entertained for quite some time, so if you haven’t seen it yet, please do so and then rate it and share your thoughts below. If you like this article, follow our website serveupdate.com & don’t forget to follow our social media handles.   Read the full article
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evan-rubinson · 1 year
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Business Mogul Evan Rubinson on How To Hire for Success
Acquiring new employees, from hiring to onboarding, is an expensive yet essential aspect of running any business. Making the right hire is crucial to save time and money and set your company up for long-term success. But even by the best measurements, experienced managers make bad hires at least one-third of the time. 
To help reverse the trend, we spoke with Evan Rubinson, CEO of ERA Brands and a former hedge fund manager, to better understand how he approaches one of the most consequential processes in business. His career spanning the worlds of finance and music has given him unique insight into what works and what doesn’t when bringing in new talent. 
The first rule of hiring is to know what you want, he said. 
“In some ways, I’m a pretty simple guy when it comes to hiring. You don’t need a Harvard Ph.D., in my opinion. Can’t hurt, but you don’t need that to be successful,” Evan Rubinson said. “I look for people who have a high degree of work ethic, a high degree of loyalty, and a high degree of teamwork.”
Those three traits are indicative of a functional and adaptable personality, he explained, which ultimately translates into business success in any industry. 
Evan Rubinson: ‘A Lot of Moving Parts’
“[I look for people who] are willing to put aside their own pride and ego, and are willing to give to a team and work well around the other people, because even though we’re a fairly small company, maybe 50 or less employees, everyone really has to operate in tandem together,” he said. “[ERA Brands has] a lot of moving parts. From import/export to manufacturing to research and development, to sales, to marketing, to artist relations …it’s key to have a team that operates in sync and feeds off each other.”
 
It also helps to know yourself. The right hire isn’t just a skills fit, but also a culture fit. A smart CEO hires people they know can work well alongside each other, according to Rubinson. “What's my favorite part of what I do? I would say the people. I'm a people person, so I enjoy working with good people that are very passionate, and that genuinely seem to care about other people,” he shared. 
But hiring is only half the battle. Once an employee has been hired, they need time and attention in order to grow into the role. 
“You’ve got to play to your management style. I'm a very, very, hands-on, perfectionist type of leader. Typically, if I hire a new employee, for the first few months, I'm very, very hands-on, very involved in everything — even the innocuous minutia,” he said. “Once I develop a comfort level with that person, then I let a little bit more rope out. You know the expression if you give someone some rope, sometimes they hang themselves, sometimes they succeed? I try to mitigate the potential for failure by trying to be very, very hands-on with people in the beginning.”
That sort of intense focus has benefits both ways, he added. Not only does the employee get a master class in learning the vision and expectations from the top, the boss becomes acquainted with the actual strengths of the new hire.
A hands-on approach provides a chance to tailor the role to the individual and make adjustments where necessary, allowing for the best functioning outcome. But it also reveals when an employee is the wrong fit for the business. 
The sooner a manager can correct hiring mistakes, the better. It saves time and money in the long run. 
That doesn’t mean that every employee needs to fit into the culture perfectly. Creating a more flexible approach to management ensures companies don’t lose out on quality hires because of personality clashes or trivial differences. 
“I’ve learned a lot about how to work with different personalities and how to be effective around different models and strategies,” Evan Rubinson said, “not just having kind of a cookie-cutter plan of, ‘This is how it's going to work. This is how people should behave. This is the standard.’ 
“It's really about … not allowing people to create their own society at a business, but also not being so rigid and so kind of corporate-oriented that if someone steps out of line, you write them off. I think having both of those perspectives, and in the order that I had them, the strict discipline perspective first, and then the, ‘OK, let's open up a little bit more, let's be more understanding, let's be more relatable, let's be more of a people person than a data person’ — I think both of those are very, very important things to mesh together.”
That sounds like a winning team, indeed.
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louehvolution · 3 years
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#what to think anymore. anon#this fandom has a bad habit of thinking in extremes. and conceiving freedom as an absolute. and all-encompassing#- as well as trivializing the extent and impact of the punishing closet Louis has been subjected to. on his life and career -#life doesn't work like that. and it's just not that simple#there is reason to believe image clauses can remain in effect. isn't there?#but even regardless of that. the people who designed his closet and have held him back all these years still hold power in the industry#they will protect themselves and their investment. and it is not absurd to consider they can still work against him and affect his career#and we are talking a decade with a certain image drilled in the press. embedded in his promo... particular fandom dynamics as well#with all the implications and consequences of that#ending it has not been a simple matter for a long time. and they took the chance of a real fresh start from him a long time ago#there is no reset button. there is no starting from scratch. there is much that needs undoing and much that needs doing in his career#there are cumulative. long lasting effects to sustained sabotage#a new beginning is only the start of a long road#hope things might start to really change and be better for him. that he will have professionals working for him and looking out for him#that will refocus his image on his artistry and music. on him. secure all the opportunities for him to enjoy himself and grow as an artist#and ensure a long term music career and success for him#- and that should mean. and requires. reducing the prominence of his closet#hope the impact of it on his personal life can be reduced as well. and that some day he might get to be and exist. unburdened#and present himself entirely on his own terms
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alltheselights · 2 years
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Most larries don’t want to believe or like it but it’s pretty clear that both Harry and his team have there own tactics on how to move him career wise and I wish we’d all realize that most of these things aren’t being forced on him and that there are certain things he probably isn’t too crazy about but is willing to do in order to move his career forward. Like it’s clear that becoming as popular as a pop star can possibly get is the goal here, Like I don’t think it’s just his team
Anonymous asked: A lot of larries on twitter are saying that Harry is being forced to do the festival because the festival is against his “ very own nature” and I’m like skeptical about that . Like I think a lot of people in this side of the fandom truly believe that every aspect of everything surrounding Harry that makes them feel disappointed as fake or that he hates and is being forced and has absolutely no control what’s so ever and I’m just like I really don’t think so
Oh, I agree with you both and have been saying this for a while. Since he launched his solo career, I think Harry has really wanted more than anything to be wildly successful and respected in the music industry. I think it’s why he never says the words “One Direction” or talks about his bandmates, I think it’s why his first album was promoted with all of the old rockstar comparisons, and I think it’s why his second album was more typical pop when HS1 didn’t perform the way they hoped it would with Grammy noms and radio play. Harry is being given opportunities that most artists can only dream of - and some of them have been earned after his initial success, but when you think about some of them, like his solo career being launched with an SNL performance and Rolling Stone cover, or the fact that he got three additional movie roles after one five-minute performance in an ensemble film, it’s evident that he has a team that is doing everything in their power to get him those opportunities, to ensure he’s everywhere at all times, to help him maintain a level of ambiguity and distance that allows him to appeal to every group of fans, and to ensure he’s successful. I think it’s naive to act like Harry doesn’t want that or is unhappy in any way with that success.
While I’m sure he doesn’t enjoy the stunting aspect, when it’s fairly minimal and coming alongside countless performances, tour dates, magazine covers, festival dates, acting roles, and more, I’d bet that it’s much easier to stomach. And I think that’s why you’ve seen him leaning more heavily into the heartthrob image in the last couple of years as he’s really blown up with things like the WS music video, the pussy-eating comments, some of his acting choices, and so on. I understand how our corner of the fandom sees him, but I think if you look outside of this group, the general public and a lot of the “locals” who are buying and streaming his music see him very differently. Like it or not, that’s played a big role in his success and I think both he and his team know that. I don’t think he’s being forced into it and I think it’s going to continue long-term.
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cameforagoodtime · 3 years
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One Direction and Management
Okay, to start off, I am a quarantine fan. I didn’t know anything about One Direction until a couple of months ago. I am sure that there are things that I don’t know anything about, and I can guide you to accounts of people who have been fans since the beginning (or at least pre-hiatus) because they are much more knowledgable about everything and also have seen progressions that I will never be able to understand. That being said, in my couple of months being a fan I have seen many misconceptions about the music industry that seem to be prevalent in this fandom. I also need to disclose that I do not have a perfect understanding of the music industry. I have a much better understanding than the general public, but everyone in this fandom has a better understanding of the industry than the GP so that’s not much of a distinction. What sets me apart is that I have access to someone who was formerly a part of the music industry. My dad was in a band for 11 years (from 1989-2000) and during that time he developed an understanding of how the industry works. I know that I am not completely knowledgable about the ins and outs of how the music industry works, but I talk with my dad about music all the time so I have an understanding different than the casual fan. 
Also, most of the time when I am writing about the fandom as a whole I am writing about post-hiatus fans. Most of the long-term fans that I have come across are so battle worn that they intrinsically have a great understanding of the industry. The problem comes from the people that haven’t seen the ebbs and flows of the industry over the last 10 years and tend to make incorrect assumptions.
One thing that I see all the time with the boys (especially Harry) is this inherent distrust of managers and management. I see where it comes from, Modest was absolutely terrible and did terrible things to the boys (though you have to admit even though they’re terrible they operated with incredible amounts of success). The major difference between Modest and all of the boy’s current managements is that they didn’t choose Modest. It’s widely known that the first deal that you get in the industry will take advantage of you. I have heard stories of small bands that are signed to a label that end up having to pay off their debts for decades after. The boys were pigeonholed into a deal with Syco from being on the X-factor, the contracts they had to sign to even be able to compete on the show ensured that. Because of that, Syco was able to take advantage of their naivety and get a better deal (for Syco not for the boys).
In general, management is a separate deal from the label. A label generally does not assign a management team, usually an artist already has a management (or at least a manager) before they negotiate their first deal. Because of the contracts the boys signed to get them on x-factor, they were pigeonholed into Syco and Modest, and then all the problems that we know and love started happening (though I do think that its very interesting to think about the first year and a half where Modest really didn’t exert a lot of control, but that’s a thought for a different post). I think people in this fandom tend to think of every management company as Modest and don’t understand that the first offer (which is what the boys accepted after the X-Factor) is always going to screw you over.
I think the best way to describe the normal relationship between artist, management, and label is that the management works for the artist, the artist works for the label. The reason that the management is necessary is because the label can (and does) try its best to screw people over. Artists hire a management to make sure that their interests are protected in the face of the label. I think most of what I am talking about is with Harry, so mostly I’m going to talk about the Azoffs. 
Irving Azoff is one of the best managers in the industry. He won an honorary grammy, and he is widely regarded as the most powerful person in the music industry. The way he has gained this power is by being cut throat. I am in no way defending Irving (or Jeff) Azoff, I think it is very likely that they are terrible people, but they are undoubtedly very good at their jobs. Your manager should not be your best friend, and I think all of the boys know that. Your manager should, however, be someone that you believe will fight tooth and nail for your best interests, and the Azoffs have proven time and time again that they are willing to do that. Irving Azoff is widely credited for the weakening of power that the labels have had over the last couple of decades because of his willingness to cut other people down for his clients. 
Here is where we get into my experiences. My dad’s manager was a guy named Alan (Al). Al is a super awesome guy, was a great manager for my dad, but at the end of the day he is pushy, micromanages everything, and I’m not going to lie I’ve heard stories of my dad being super annoyed with him. The reason my dad kept him around, however, was because he was really good at his job. Al would negotiate with the venue to get he highest pay, he would negotiate with the label to get more money out of a record, and sometimes he did the hard thing and told the band the things they didn’t want to hear. This was all his job. My dad still plays a show every two years or so with the band, and Al still tries to negotiate the highest amount of money he can out of a concert (even though my dad and all of his bandmates have other careers now and don’t really need the money). Al is now one of the managers for Duran Duran, is on the board for like 7 companies, and is altogether really successful, but it’s not because he was the nicest person to be around, in fact it’s mostly because of the opposite. 
I absolutely love Al, but he is such an asshole sometimes, and it’s because of that trait that he was a good manager. The same goes with the Azoffs. Yes, they probably aren’t great people, most people in positions of power like that aren’t. They are good managers because of their asshole tendencies, not in spite of. 
One of the things that makes me the most frustrated in this fandom is this inherent distrust of the Azoffs off of the belief that they manipulated Harry into signing an un-beneficial contract. This idea seems to stem from the belief that Harry isn’t smart enough to realize he’s being manipulated. I can assure everyone that after 10 years of being high level in the music industry, Harry is well aware when he’s being manipulated. I’m sure that he’s aware of his position and how people will try to take advantage of him, and I’m certain that he’s hyperaware of the fact that people are going to try to manipulate him. The major difference lies in the fact that 26 year old Harry is armed with a plethora of knowledge about the inner workings of the industry and a really good legal team that looks over and negotiates every contract he signs, 16 year old harry was not. 
In conclusion, managers suck, but that’s the whole point of their job. No one is best friends with their management. So no, Jeff Azoff is not the devil and forcing Harry to stay off of social media because of image control. It’s realistic that after 10 years in the public eye he wants the keep his life private (I absolutely do not blame him). I think that it’s likely that his label is controlling him and his image a bit (again, a post for another time) but I don’t really think Jeff is forcing Harry to do anything he doesn’t want to do. Harry isn’t a naive 16 year old anymore. He has an understanding of the industry much deeper than anyone in the fandom because his is all first person.
I also think its important to note that the image we were getting of the boys while in the band was also not authentic. I think that this is something that is too often forgotten, but even at the beginning when they seemed to be given a free for all there were clear messages that each of them were tasked with delivering. I think that the perception is often that management was less controlling of their social media during one direction, and while to some extent this is true, it’s important to note that their public persona has never been a true representation of them. We do not, nor have we ever, truly known who these boys are. We only know what they are willing to publicize.
I might make more posts about things people don’t understand if there are any requests (or if I just get bored). If anyone actually is reading this I’m sorry that you had to read through all of that, but if you have any questions (which I’m sure you do, I’m really bad at explaining things) just message me and I will be happy to explain it.
EDIT: I feel like this may come across as me saying that management disputes don’t happen in the industry. They absolutely do, it’s just that it doesn't seem likely that Harry in particular is having management disputes. All of the boys (except maybe Liam, but I don’t know enough about that particular situation) seem to be okay with their management teams. Harry seems to be totally fine with Jeff, so people really need to stop saying that he is unhappy. Jeff isn’t controlling all of his actions like people seem to think
I also think it’s important to remember that Niall is still signed to Modest, and it doesn’t seem to be forced. Modest may have been terrible management for Louis and Harry (and even though i don’t know enough about their specific situations I’ll group Liam and Zayn into this category as well) but clearly they were good managers for Niall. Every single situation is different but people need to realize that management doesn’t do all of the image control, they execute a lot from the label as well (and Syco seems pretty homophobic so...)
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taexual · 4 years
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HOLIC - 49 | jb x reader
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pairing: Im Jaebum x Reader
genre: enemies to lovers au | roommate au
warnings: angst (ONE LAST TIME, LET’S GO)
words: 4.7k
disclaimer: i do not own the gif, please let me know if it belongs to you, so i can give proper credit
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Jaebum watched you for a while after you asked the question, the echo of your voice ringing inside of his mind. Seeing you after nearly a week was too overwhelming. He couldn’t focus on just one emotion that he was feeling and the urge he had to cross the room and approach you overpowered everything else.
“I don’t—” he tried, resisting his own heart in order to remain true to his mind. “I don’t think that’s such a good idea.”
But even despite what he said, he remained frozen in the same spot, not closing the door and not walking away from you.
“Please,” you said, the stinging pain in your heart translating itself into words, “I need you to know what really happened. I’m not—I don’t want you to immediately forgive me and move on. I just want you to know a-and to understand.”
“Don’t I already know everything I need to know?” he asked but still moved to a side—just slightly but that was enough for you to slip into the lounge room, away from the loud music.
In the brief second that it took for you to walk past him into the room – your shoulder brushing against his chest gently – you thought you were going to suffocate. The smell of his cologne, his side profile and the twin moles above his eye that you’d spent countless mornings staring at, his close proximity and just him, as a whole, brought back every moment of the life that you’ve shared with him and you immediately understood that walking away from this life—away from him—was going to be a task you would never have enough strength to finish.
“No, not everything,” you said as he closed the door. The two of you were back to where you’d been so many times before – in your own lost, broken, and exhausted world that pulsed with pain and sorrow and desperation. “Y-you know about these events I had to do. Well, that was Jiho’s idea. He insisted the gallery couldn’t invest in me if I wasn’t popular enough. It was all about media play. I thought that sort of made sense but I wasn’t sure if I wanted to establish my career by having my pictures taken with him—”
“I get that,” Jaebum interrupted. He’d had enough time to analyze every single one of your cryptic and vague answers to his questions about how your exhibition was going. He managed to put the pieces together himself. “I understand that you were working on your career. It was a way to get your own exhibition, that’s fine. It’s good. But faking a relationship while—”
You protested immediately. “I wasn’t—”
“Please,” Jaebum looked away. The utter lack of emotion in his voice scared you far more than any possible outcome of this conversation could. “He took you to all of these places to stir shit up on purpose. To draw more interest to you because you and him were there together.”
It was starting to become obvious that you wouldn’t have to talk about what happened since you saw Jiho at the gallery out of town. Even despite not giving Jaebum the detailed breakdown – or any sort of details about what you did, really – Jaebum still seemed to know everything. In the time you’ve spent preparing the right words to say to him, you’d forgotten to give him credit for his unrivaled perception skills.
“But there was no relationship,” you said. “There never was.”
“Right,” Jaebum continued, the hollowness behind his eyes taking you back to the night you told him about Jiho. You could feel your hands start to shake just like they did back then. “Except you went along with all that he was feeding the media.”
That was true and that’s why you were unable to find an excuse. “I-I was doing it to get the exhibition—”
He scoffed. “Because there was no other way, right?”
“Yes!” you agreed, your voice growing desperate and borderline manic. “You’d have left me behind, otherwise. I’d have—”
“What?” Jaebum’s voice had risen, too. Your accusation had clearly taken him off guard. “How would I leave you behind? I—”
“Oh, come on, you were already busy with your company dinners with executives and your meetings about the upcoming single…” you said, not trying to sound accusing but feeling like you did anyway. Pausing for a quick moment, you tried to continue in a softer voice, “you’re already working on an album. I was just trying to catch up with you so we could do this together. Like we wanted to.”
He narrowed his eyes and did not find a way to form a sentence for a minute or two.
“Okay,” he finally said then. “Yeah, so that makes it better, right?”
“It—”
“No, no, stop, it’s—” one of his hands squeezed the bridge of his nose as he exhaled slowly. “I just—God. I took you with me to everything that I was going through. I told you about all of it—like you said. I’ve welcomed you into my life and actively tried to include you in every single thing that was going on with me. And not just in terms of my career. I mean every thing. And you—well, fuck, clearly, I don’t mean enough for you to—”
He started to pace around the room – all while avoiding your eyes – but you had a feeling that the creaking sound wasn’t caused by the old floorboards. It was the sound of your heart breaking.
“No, Jaebum,” you stopped him before he could finish the sentence, “t-that’s not it at all. I’m—I’m horribly afraid of hurting you or ruining the things between us and that’s why I didn’t tell you. This fear was—it just took control of all of my decisions. I’m sorry, I—I should have never kept quiet about something that was this big. I never meant to hurt you like that, I just genuinely—stupidly—thought that this was the only way for me to do this. I thought that if I could endure those events with him, it would ensure a future for me. For us. A happy, successful future.”
“That’s built on a lie?”
You blinked, his raw words ricochetting off the walls of the empty room and hitting your chest. “Built on—”
“—on you, selling yourself out to Jiho?” he finished for you.
“I wasn’t—Jaebum, please. I don’t like him, either. I hate him, really. Nothing ever happened between him and me—honestly, just the thought of something happening makes me want to tear my hair out in disgust. It’s just--at first I didn’t tell you about this to spare your feelings. You were in such a good mood, I never wanted to ruin that. And then I-I was scared because you’d started to drift away from me – you were telling me about all of these new opportunities, all of these new people. Imagine how much worse it would have been if you were making it in the world, and I was still scrubbing the walls at my gallery per Eva’s orders.”
You realized that no matter which direction you went in, your words still sounded accusing. But before you could express yourself more clearly, Jaebum was already groaning in exasperation.
“At least, I was telling you about my life!” he snapped. “You are the one who tried to leave me behind, in the end.”
“I—that’s—I didn’t mean to make it sound like you’re the one to blame here,” you said carefully. “I know I fucked up. I genuinely believed that everything would have worked out, eventually. I thought that I could host that exhibition and we could put all of this shit behind us, not having to focus on it at all. I thought I could completely erase the part of my life that involved Jiho while I was still living in it and only now do I realize how big of a reality check I needed. No one can live and attempt not to live at the same time.”
Jaebum didn’t speak but you saw his Adam’s apple move as he swallowed. You took this as your cue to continue and say the words you’ve come to say.
“I just… I couldn’t shake these thoughts that you would have started to feel bad about talking about your achievements to me if I wasn’t achieving anything myself – that’s why I went along with what Jiho offered. Otherwise, y-you would have kept quiet about advancing your career so you wouldn’t upset me and, maybe, you would have found someone else to talk to,” you said and noticed that he opened his mouth – evidently ready to protest – so you continued louder, not letting him cut in, “you’d meet a lot of other people, a lot of similar people – aspiring singers – and they would listen to you. They would understand. You’d feel sorry for me then, maybe even try to help me. We would argue just like we used to, only this time, it would be so much bigger. We would—”
“Alright,” he couldn’t listen anymore. “I get it. Okay? You did this for your career. I get it.”
He didn’t just say that to get you to stop talking about all the hypothetical ways in which your relationship would have reached its end. He truly did understand your reasoning and, in any case, he wasn’t this upset about your choice to pull a publicity stunt with Jiho. What bothered him this whole week was the fact that he didn’t even know about this choice. Your voluntary silence in regards to your career was what hurt him the most and, when he allowed himself to unclench his muscles and finally glance at you, you saw the repercussions it had on him.
He looked exhausted. Vulnerable. Hurt.
“I didn’t want to keep it a secret,” you said slowly, your voice breaking when you needed it to be strong the most, “but there was nothing I feared more than losing you. Every time I was supposed to see Jiho, I felt sick. Every time I had to smile next to him, I was just about ready to die. I regretted it every step of the way and I wanted to tell you about it. I knew you’d tell me that I didn’t have to do this – that I could find a different way – but I feared that the end result would have been the same. My inability to keep up with you would have created a bottomless pit between us. It was already looming in the distance.”
“How long did you think you were going to keep doing this with him?” Jaebum asked but he wasn’t sure if he wanted to know the answer. Just this question, however, asked in a sensible tone, let you know that he was now hearing what you were saying and, as the gaps in the puzzle he’d pieced together began to fill, he was beginning to feel the tension in his chest recede.
“It was supposed to be just a few appearances,” you said. “He said it’d be good for me to make a name for myself but no one cared about that. I obviously wasn’t the first person he was dragging to these events and no one gave a shit about me. I was just his plus one.”
“So, why—”
“I finally decided to end this in the car on our way to Jackson’s event,” you began to respond, guessing what he was going to ask, “I knew this wasn’t going to work. I-I mean, it probably would have worked, eventually, but I’ve had enough. I didn’t want it to be like this. And then Jiho and I got into a fight and I got—I don’t know, confused? Distracted?—and I decided to wait until the end of the night before I told him I was done. I figured it’d be good for me to, at least, get to know some more relevant people before I gave up on everything I’ve been trying to work on.”
“But then Jackson ruined everything,” Jaebum pointed out.
You weren’t exactly sure how much Jackson had told Jaebum about your conversation but now didn’t feel like the right time to ask. You weren’t here to testify according to Jackson’s testimony. You were here to tell Jaebum the long-overdue truth.
“He didn’t ruin anything,” you said. “Jiho didn’t hear what Jackson and I talked about at that event.”
“Well, then what happened? How come we’re here?”
You took a deep breath.
“I ended it,” you said simply with a small shrug, “because I finally realized that none of this was ever going to be worth it. I ended it and then I quit my job at the gallery, too. I realized I’d made a mistake: I should have never stomped on all that I thought was right. I should have stuck with my morals. I realized where I was and what I was doing, and I didn’t want to be there anymore. I didn’t want to talk to Jiho anymore, let alone work with him,” you could feel yourself fire up as you talked, the emotions that had taken over you too difficult to control, “I didn’t even want to host a stupid fucking exhibition anymore. I just—I wanted you. And I no longer cared if I would've had to rob a construction site so I could build my own fucking gallery from the ground up and have the damn exhibition there, all on my own terms. I no longer cared if the exhibition would never even happen. I think, for a moment, I was hoping it would never happen because I didn’t think I deserved it. Because it made no sense if I didn’t have you. Nothing made sense if you weren’t with me.”
Jaebum couldn’t find enough air in the room to fill his lungs.
“Y-you—but why?” he asked, breathless and completely distraught. “You could have kept going. Like you said, if you’d have endured him a little more, you could have had your own exhibition just like you wanted. Why tell me and break the deal with Jiho off—”
“Because I love you,” you cut him off and for the next minute, the two of you listened to the heavy silence of the room, hearing how, beat by beat, your hearts returned to the harmonious rhythm.
He didn’t say anything – he was afraid – and you didn’t think you’d manage to find the strength to talk either, but the look on his face pushed you to open your mouth.
“I-I love you so fucking much, I’d rather throw away my only shot at a successful future than lose you,” you said, very uncertain about breaking the silence but gradually growing more confident once you saw the old glimmer in Jaebum’s eyes return, “I love you so much, I can’t pretend to be a different person with a different set of values, because every step along the way, I know that you would never support me like this,” you dared to take a step closer to him and nearly tripped over your feet when he stayed still, not pulling away from you, “I love you so much, I would rather stand behind and quietly watch you drift away from me, further and further every day, than risk drowning our relationship for the sake of something as trivial as ambition.”
You were standing right in front of him now, the two of you breathing each other’s oxygen like you’ve done so many times before.
“That shit means nothing to me in comparison to you,” you said quietly, the corners of your eyes wet with tears. “I don’t want anything else. Not like that. Never like that. And I’m so fucking sorry it took me this long to see this. I’m so sorry I didn’t immediately—I’m really sorry. I’m sorry I hesitated for so long. I-I waited and waited until I started to feel as if I could either have my exhibition or you and, if that was the case, I didn’t care about the fucking exhibition. I wanted you. I’ve only ever wanted you.”
“F-fuck. You didn’t tell me. You kept quiet—”
“I know. Fuck, I know. And I’m sorry, Jaebum,” you kept going, repeating the apologies over and over as tears slid down your cheeks, leaving a glistening path of sorrow in their wake. Ignoring your own feelings, you focused on collecting all of the pain you’ve caused him. You’d have spent the entire night apologizing for every bit of it—no matter how small and irrelevant. “I’m so fucking sorry. I love you and I can’t think straight. I’ve never—you’re the only—fuck, I thought I was keeping it all to myself because I didn’t want to ruin your happiness. I don’t even know why that made sense to me—I-I’m sorry. I should have never kept you in the dark about this. I wanted—I want you next to me through everything I go through. I do, really, and I’m so sorry. I should have—”
“Please stop,” he asked shakily, “don’t apologize anymore. Please, just—l-let me kiss you. I can’t breathe.”
The words seemed heaven-sent -- you could almost hear a grandiose tune crescendo in the background but that could have just been your heart exploding -- and the speed with which your hands wrapped themselves around his neck as his lips found yours, stopped the earth from turning. The feeling of his body pressed against yours and every single touch of his fingers against your skin was filled with emotions so strong, it could have rearranged every star in the Milky Way.
You could hear the stars exploding in the night sky outside and you could taste the supernovas on his lips. You kissed him back, reading every painful memory he kept as your fingertips brushed against the shivering skin on the nape of his neck. You could feel the love for him burst in your chest, extending far into the other galaxies and returning right back, right to this empty room, where one single soul was beginning to patch itself back together again.
You never wanted to pull away and Jaebum held you like he wasn’t ever going to let you. His tongue slid under yours until the kiss was almost as deep as the love in his heart and as strong as his grip on your waist. He kissed you like he was never going to leave. Like everything was going to be okay.
When you pulled away, your lungs were heavy with the air you had both struggled to find in this room and your chests were full of the love you’ve held yourselves back from sharing. You leaned in, kissing him again – not taking the feeling of his lips against yours for granted but still not being able to get enough of him – and he stopped you from pulling away by kissing you harder because the thought of not having kissed you for so long suddenly hurt much more than anything else.
You were laughing when he broke the kiss to inhale, leaning his forehead against yours. His hands were still on your waist as if the only way to make sure that you were really here, was to hold you as close as possible.
“Y-you said you quit your job,” he mentioned after a moment, his eyes scanning every inch of your face to check how much of you has changed while he wasn’t there to see it. “Are you sure about that?”
“Oh. Yeah. It’s okay. I’m looking for a new one,” you said and then could not resist adding, “maybe you can support a poor girl with the money you’ll get when your debut album goes platinum.”
Jaebum laughed and, for a quick moment, it felt like you’ve died and appeared right at the gates to heaven. The thought that you’d risked never hearing the sound of his laughter again was impossible to bear.
“Hey, but what about the bottomless pit, looming in the distance of our relationship?” he asked.
You hated the metaphor when you said it but you wanted to stomp it into the ground when he repeated it. He was probably never going to let the dramatic flair in your speech go but even the possibility of him mocking you for the rest of your life excited you.
“I spit in it,” you said, dead-serious. “And anyone who tries to get to us will be drowned in said spit.”
Jaebum frowned but the smile didn’t leave his lips. “That is disgusting and very violent.”
“Every time I end up almost losing you, I become more aggressive,” you confessed in a humorous tone but you weren’t joking about anything you were saying. “Watch out, I’ll kill a man for you one day.”
He laughed again – and the heavenly gates opened up even wider – shaking his head. “I hope that won’t be necessary.”
You cleared your throat, the moment’s banter broken by the heaviness in your chest that, frankly, might never go away despite how tonight ended.
“I hope so, too,” you said and your hands detached themselves from around his neck, sliding down his chest until you felt him reluctantly release your waist. You needed more distance if you wanted to tell him the things you’ve gotten too overwhelmed to say before. “I truly am sorry, Jaebum. I never ever wanted to keep any secrets from you, I—”
“I know,” he said almost reflexively. “It’s okay.”
“It’s not.”
He nodded, agreeing with your disagreeing eyes. “Yeah, alright. It’s not. But I love you. I don’t know what’s okay anymore when it comes to you.”
The shivers that ran down your body after he said the three words seemed to buzz so loudly, you couldn’t hear your thoughts anymore, let alone think about the power you held over him.
“I… I’m scared of the lengths I might go in order not to lose your love,” you admitted slowly, your stomach clenching and twisting and turning as you said the words that seemed right but felt so terrifying. “I’m scared I might keep proving to be unworthy of it.”
Jaebum lifted his hands to reach yours – still resting on his chest – and he squeezed them, pressing them into his chest harder until you could feel his heartbeat.
“My love isn’t that noble of a thing,” he said.
“It is to me,” you insisted. “I know you don’t give it to just anyone and I hate to think that I almost proved to you that all of your fears about this – about us – were rational.”
You were afraid to look him in the eyes but he refused to speak if you weren’t.
“They weren’t rational,” he said once your gazes finally met.
“W-what?” you frowned. “But—”
“They never were rational,” he said, the beating of his heart accentuating every word. “There was never a legitimate reason for me to be afraid of what would happen to us next. I can’t be afraid of life. And I know that for certain now because you told me you loved me a-and you meant it. You’re the first person who told me that and meant it.”
“Jaebum,” you whispered, scared to talk louder than his heart was beating. “You will probably never meet a person who fucks up more than I do. I make mistakes so stupid, it’s impossible I haven’t accidentally killed myself yet. And I always realize that what I’m doing is wrong when it’s too late.”
He watched you before admitting, “I don’t see your point.”
“I love you but I don’t want you to feel like you owe me to love me back,” you confessed, getting your hands out from under his and dropping them to your sides. The words you were saying to him now were a permission for him to leave and touching him felt too much like holding him back from making a rational, sensible decision. “You deserve a relationship where you wouldn’t have to try so hard. A relationship where you would be treated right and would never have to overcome all of these huge obstacles in order to be happy. A-and I love you enough to leave if you tell me to leave.”
He didn’t respond right away and, for every second that he was quiet, the fear spread faster and faster inside of you. You would certainly go if he told you to but you were scared of how many pieces of yourself you’d leave with him when you walked away.
“God,” Jaebum finally said. “You do make painfully dumb decisions, that part was true.”
“I—” your eyebrows had risen as these weren’t the words you’d expected him to say. “Yeah, alright. I do.”
“If you left me, ever,” Jaebum said, “that would be the mistake you’d realize you’d made too late.”
You tried not to focus on the excited whimpering of your heart. “I-I just don’t want you to feel like—”
“You are indescribably thick—” Jaebum interrupted.
“Okay, now that stung a little—”
“—for ever thinking that I wouldn’t want to spend the rest of my life with you,” he finished, taking your hands back into his so you wouldn’t cut him off again.
“Y-you…” your breath hitched, “you’d want that?”
“Of course,” Jaebum said, pulling you back closer to him as final proof that he was absolutely not going to let you leave. “No relationships sail smoothly from beginning to end. There are obstacles everyone has to overcome so they could be together in the end.”
“But these obstacles, they—they’re never this big for others,” you weren’t sure why you kept talking but it still didn’t feel like all was said and done. You’ve already made so many apologies about keeping secrets from him that it didn’t feel right to stop talking before you’ve truly said everything. “We’ve gone through so much and I’ve always been scared that you and I might have an expiration date. I don’t want to put you through any more suffering because of me, and, God knows, I can’t walk away from you but maybe being with someone shouldn’t be so hard.”
His grip on you only tightened.
“Maybe it shouldn’t,” he said. “But if it is, then you’re the only person I want to go through all of those hard times with. Maybe that’s my painfully dumb decision.”
You gave him a look. “Ha.”
“I love you,” Jaebum smiled, his voice sounding far less strained than it did when you first came here tonight as if a thousand pounds have been lifted from the inside of his throat. “And if this love is exactly what kills me, then, at least, I’ll die knowing that you love me, too.”
“I do,” you promised, smiling when he grimaced at his own choice of words. “Always.”
It was what he needed to hear. It was all that he needed to hear and he leaned in to capture your lips with his in a kiss that sealed the promises made here. 
Jaebum could recognize his own vulnerability when it came to you – not that it mattered when your lips were against his – and he was partially convinced that he’d already forgiven you long before you came to see him tonight. But the fact that you did come only proved to him that you were worthy of his forgiveness.
You would've had to be extremely naïve to believe that you'd immediately move past the weeks of silence and the days of pain. All of it might still return to haunt you in the future but it was okay because, with every shared kiss, the hurt and the pain would recede until, eventually, it’d turn into a memory. A memory that made you stronger.
You’ve made promises to each other tonight. Promises to fight together, even if sometimes you couldn’t help but return to your very roots and argue with each other instead. However, at the end of every fight, what you would truly be defending would not be your own interest or your own feelings. You’d be defending this relationship. Defending your heart and his heart, permanently tied together with rusty, tortured--and yet unbreakable--chains. 
You would have screamed, suffered, and sacrificed the whole world to keep his heart safe and he would have done all of that for you.
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mountphoenixrp · 3 years
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We have a new citizen in Mount Phoenix:
                      Harper Song, who is known by no other name;                                       a 19 year old son of Arawn.                   He is a ballet & lyrical instructor at LOCO Motion.
FC NAME/GROUP: Song Hyeongjun / Cravity CHARACTER NAME: Harper Song AGE/DATE OF BIRTH: 19 / 30th November 2001 PLACE OF BIRTH: Tongyeong, South Korea but mostly lived in Seoul OCCUPATION: Ballet and Lyrical Dance Instructor at LOCO Motion HEIGHT: 174cm DEFINING FEATURES:
Usually speaks in a Seoul dialect but his native Tongyeong dialect comes through when he’s stressed
Tall frame and broad shoulders
Athletic frame with highly defined muscles: especially legs, arms, chest and back
Sweet smile and a baby face
A colourful flower bouquet tattoo on his inner arm (https://tattooblend.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/12/52.jpg)
Wears glasses when he’s reading for long periods of time
Weak right ankle with surgery scars
PERSONALITY: Harper spent most of his life living under his mother’s direction: what school to attend, what classes to take and what opportunities to accept. He isn’t very used to making decisions for himself and often finds that he reverts to his mother’s strict values; whether it is a strict diet or the countless hours of training every day. He knows that she’s wrong though and is actively trying to live for himself instead - it’s the exact reason he moved to Mount Phoenix.
He is passionate and lives for the sole purpose of dancing - with his favourites being Ballet, Modern and Lyrical. In fact, he possesses an almost encyclopaedic knowledge of the history behind those styles, but is still wanting to learn and experience more. Although he was on the road to becoming a principal dancer, Harper had thrown it all away. He is now more interested in just chasing his passions. He is both happy and satisfied working as a dance teacher, but longs to return to the stage in the future.
To most people, Harper comes across as a very polite and warm hearted person. He’s genuine in everything that he does and is seldom known to lie. He is encouraging of the people around him and wanted to uplift all of his students - regardless of experience and skill level. Although he is young and with a pure, good heart, that should not be confused with naivety. His life has been filled with many years of pain and the experience has made him a stronger person. He tries to see the good in everyone but will also stand up for any injustice.
To his closest friends, Harper is an obvious Dance geek. He’s the type to become over excited about rewatching an old dance performance and could probably speak for hours about the technical details of a dance routine. He also had a cheeky sense of humor, embellished with a hint of good natured sarcasm. He has an innocent charm, especially since he is relatively inexperienced in terms of dating - Harper has been in relationships before, but is generally new to meeting people outside of his dance circles. Most of his life has been fairly sheltered and limited, so he has only a few life experiences to draw from.
Harper is known to wear his heart on his sleeve. He speaks his mind and, if the situation calls for it or if he is asked, would be willing to share even the most painful parts of his past. He takes the darkness in his heart as a reason to grow and is willing to relive his bad memories if the story will help someone in the present.
HISTORY: Harper had always known that he was special and, according to his Mother, that meant that he couldn’t do things like the other kids. He was the only son of Song Hayoung, or Hanna Song as she was professionally known. As one of Korea’s few internationally renowned ballerinas, she had a prolific career as the Principal Dancer for a number of foreign dance companies. Although she retired when she fell pregnant with Harper, she was never able to let go of her past fame.
Hanna was always about trying to be the best of the best. As a dancer, she pushed herself to the absolute limits and boldly grasped at every opportunity that came to her. Coming from a small town, she wanted nothing more than to be greater than anyone thought possible. Even her brief relationship with Arawn, a strange and powerful man with abilities beyond human, was an example of how she gravitated towards power. After she had Harper, a child that she initially wanted to erase from existence, she saw him as another opportunity to prove her greatness. Hanna raised him as though she were his talent manager - every ambition that she had for herself, ambitions that she felt were stolen from her, she forced onto her son.
She named him Harper, giving him a foreign name because he was going to be an internationally renowned dancer - a Principal Dancer for certain, and perhaps with the Berlin Dance Company. She would accept nothing less than that, so saw no reason to give him a Korean name. She didn’t intend on him leading any real life there.
She put Harper into dance classes as soon as he learnt to walk and hired him a private tutor to ensure that he could maximize his practice time - elementary school was just an excuse for play time, after all, and there was nothing homeschooling could not accommodate. Hanna was also rather outspoken to him about his parentage - thinking that knowledge of his father as well as the magic that he might have inherited would propel Harper into being a more aggressively ambitious person. But truthfully, Arawn and the dead had always scared him, so Harper avoided pursuing those abilities.
Instead, he put all of his energy and focus onto dance - doing just what his mother wanted. He genuinely loved it but his mother was always quick to criticize. Harper was never good enough. Winning first place was just an expectation, not an achievement. Hanna didn’t allow him to do much aside from dance, so he didn’t have the opportunity to meet other kids his age. He was a sweet boy though, with a warmth that his mother never possessed, and became close to other dancers easily.
It was only when he reached his teenage years that Hanna enrolled him in an actual school. Deciding that he had outgrown the backwards community in Tongyeong, she surprised him with a sudden move to Seoul. In fact, she hadn’t even spoken to Harper about it until the moving trucks arrived. Unable to even say goodbye to his handful of friends, he cried silently in the back seat, trying to make sure that his mother didn’t see his tears. She did though and, for the first time in her life, she hesitated. But only for a moment.
Success did not come to those who held themselves back.
Harper has been enrolled into the most prolific performing arts school in Seoul, where he also had his first experience living away from his mother. Being in a dormitory was different and it took him a while to get used to it, especially since most of his life has been spent living to such rigid rules. However, his concerns melted away and Harper made friends easily - his satoori, which he was initially self conscious of, was actually adored by the other students who thought he sounded cute and shy by default.
In his first couple of years at the school, Harper just managed to pass his academic classes but was absolutely excelling as a dancer. He enjoyed trying different styles but, with every phone call from his mother, there was another demand that he focus more of his time on ballet. Consequently, he ended up spending a majority of his time with his Pas de deux partner - Miyoung, a prodigal dancer and daughter of a renowned dance company director. She was an elegant and beautiful girl who shared a similarly strict lifestyle to him and so they were always on the same wavelength - it seemed only logical that they would date. His mother approved of the relationship, considering her a suitable partner for Harper even if she would have preferred him to focus on his training instead.
However, that happiness was short lived as the relationship lasted mere months - their chemistry as friends and dance partners didn’t translate to a healthy relationship. The two spent more time training and analysing dance techniques than actually getting to know each other. As the pressure of trying to feign a happy relationship built up, Harper also became closer with his new roommate - Junkai. He was an older student from the countryside in China, orphaned and without any money, but possessing such incredible musical talent that he was attending school on a full scholarship. He had a cool, stoic nature and seldom spoke, so Harper initially felt uncomfortable around him.
However, tragedy brought the two closer.
Harper had just returned to their room after late night rehearsals, thinking that Jun would have been asleep already, but instead found the older boy sitting desolate on his bed. His eyes were red rimmed and puffy, as though he had spent hours crying. Concerned for his roommate, Harper went to sit silently by the other boy’s side, waiting and giving him time to share what had happened. There was no pushing, no inundation of questions; just silence and the comfort of hands being held.
Jun revealed that he’d received word that afternoon that his younger sister had passed away. They had been each other’s only family for years and, while he was still living in China, he had been her sole guardian - even if he was only a child himself. She was the one who had sent his application to Korea and who encouraged him to go to study abroad, even if she would be left alone. As a childhood Leukemia patient, his sister had been admitted to the hospital in recent months but Jun wasn’t able to fly home to her - they didn’t have the money and she didn’t want him to give up his scholarship. In the end, all he had were daily video calls and then a final call from her doctor, delivering the news that she had passed away in her sleep.
Jun blamed himself for not being there for her, hating that his sister was alone even in her last painful moments. She was gone and there was nothing anyone could do, except Harper knew he could. He had never done it before, only having heard from his mother about the powers Arawn possessed, but he wanted to try it for Junkai.
“I want to try something.”
The two roommates grew closer in the following months and Harper could very confidently pinpoint the moment that he fell in love with Junkai - he was on the piano and Harper was barefoot in the dance studio, the music weaving its way into both of their hearts. Where he had to try so hard in his last relationship, being with Jun felt completely natural - the other boy balanced out all of Harper’s weaknesses, whilst Harper encouraged Jun to open up to the world around him. Sharing a room soon turned into sharing a bed and they often found themselves holding each other through the night.
In Harper’s mind, it was his first real relationship - and Junkai was the only person he wanted to be with - but Harper’s mother thought differently. Initially only shocked by her son’s sexuality, she was further appalled to find out about Jun’s impoverished background. She could not accept that her son would go from Miyoung, who she viewed as the perfect girlfriend, to someone who had absolutely nothing to his name. She forbid the relationship, going to great lengths to ensure that the boys were split up.
However, in his first real rebellious moment towards his mother, Harper refused. The two continued to see each other secretly throughout their high school years, often talking about how they might run away together after graduation, but reality soon caught up.
Due to his family background and good looks, Harper had been scouted throughout his high school years. He rejected them as the offers mostly came from modelling and idol agencies, but the one he had been preparing for his whole life came just weeks before graduation. The Berlin Dance Company contacted him to offer him a permanent role in the corps de ballet - with potential to graduate to a soloist and then principal role as well. The only downside would have been having to relocate to Germany.
Junkai, meanwhile, had to go home. He had graduated two years ago and had been trying to find stable work in Korea with no luck. His Chinese background and citizenship worked to his disadvantage in Korea, with no place wanting to hire him permanently. At the same time, a call had come from his hometown’s high school to offer him a position as a music tutor. He was concerned about leaving Harper, knowing that the other boy was still very much under the selfish control of his mother, but had no option left.
Before Harper’s graduation recital, and knowing that their paths would be inevitably split afterwards, the two boys had slipped out on the weekend. Heading to one of the more reputable tattoo studios in Hongdae, they spent a few hours getting matching tattoos on their upper forearm.
“But why the flowers?” Harper asked.
“Because I want to be the first one to congratulate you after every show.”
An entire year had passed and Harper was getting accustomed to life in Berlin. Although they had broken off their relationship, Jun was always on his mind - as the nightly phone calls proved. Over time though, Jun became quieter again and harder to contact, but there was nothing that Harper could do on the other side of the world. And so he just tried again and again.
1 missed call.
8 missed calls.
15 missed calls.
There were minutes to go until curtain, and Harper was backstage of the theatre checking on his costume. It had been nearly a week since Jun had called and so Harper nearly pounced when his phone lit up with a new message. For once though, he had wished that he hadn’t read anything. The words seared into his brain as the stage manager came in to rush them onto stage. Harper followed her instructions like clockwork, ascending to the raised platform for the opening number.
The orchestra started with a delicate melody that seems only to toy with the sinking weight in Harper’s chest. The world was spinning but Harper pushed on, because that was what he had been trained to do. Push on. Go on.
He slipped, his ankle snapping in the wrong direction and body falling meters below. The pain seared through his leg and Harper was certain that he’d broken something, but that wasn’t why the tears came, why his heart clenched, nor why he sobbed the entire night into his sheets. It was only one message, a couple of words, but it tore his world apart.
“This is Doctor Li. I’m not certain of your relationship to my patient, but I am sorry to inform you that Ma Jun Kai passed away this morning.”
Harper spoke to Junkai after that just once. On his bed with his leg in a plaster and his face sunken, he had called up all of his strength to use his powers once again - but for a more selfish reason. Jun came fairly easily to sit beside him in quiet comfort, much like what Harper had done for him before. The boy in front of him was different though - thinner than he had been just a year ago and with a deathly look to his complexion.
Harper looked up at him, his breath caught in his chest as the tears came to his eyes again. He’d promised himself not to cry.
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
Junkai looked at him, his expression filled with a mix of sadness and regret, “Because I don’t want you to remember me like this.”
Life is short, and Harper realised that he had spent most of his living under the control of his mother. Her words were so much a part of him that he didn’t know who he was without her direction. With Junkai gone as well, his singular attempt at pursuing something for himself, Harper could no longer continue the life that he had been living.
And so he left. He submitted his resignation to the Berlin Dance Company, citing time needed to rehabilitate, and packed all of his possessions up. He didn’t say anything to his mother, not giving her the chance to stop him, but had her to thank for his next move. When he was younger, she had told him about a place just off from Korea - it was an island where people like his father and, in turn, him, could go to become stronger.
And maybe find a fresh beginning.
PANTHEON: Celtic CHILD OF: Arawn POWERS:
The ability to communicate with the dead - this is not a passive ability and Harper has to put quite a lot of energy into actually doing this. At the moment, he is only capable of short communications. This will not work for any spirits that have moved on or reincarnated.
The ability to raise the dead - Harper has only ever attempted this once and is only able to do it for very short time spans (a few minutes at most). It is a very exhausting process and leaves him so weak that he may completely pass out.
Physically strong - Harper has his rigorous exercise routine and dance training to back it up, but his natural inclination towards physical strength surely helped the process.
STRENGTHS:
Physical strength, agility and flexibility
Encyclopaedic knowledge of dance history
Natural talent and professional training in a number of dance genres - specifically Ballet, Modern and Lyrical dance
Takes past experiences and failures as reasons to become stronger
WEAKNESSES:
Is absolutely terrible at making decisions
Does not have good grasp or understanding of his demigod abilities
Is trusting of the people around him and can be easily hurt
Has a very regimented lifestyle that he is trying to ‘unlearn’
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danganronpa-21 · 4 years
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Meet the Fankids!
It’s about time that I made a blog like this. Seriously, I’ve had these fankids for so long and I’ve never introduced them as a full group before? Preposterous! That had to change, and so it has. Here’s a full list of all of the fankids present in Danganronpa 21 -- complete with appearances, personalities, likes and dislikes, hobbies, fatal flaws, dreams, and other random details like blood type.
Happy reading!
Hope Naegi-Kirigiri: 
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The eldest daughter of Makoto and Kyoko Naegi-Kirigiri, standing at 16 years old (April 9th, 2020). She holds the talent of the Super High School Level Costume Designer, and holds positions both on Hope’s Peak Cheerleading Team and on their Student Council. She is 5′6 and boasts 118 lbs, and has AB blood. She is of Japanese descent. Her affiliations include Hope’s Peak Academy and the Kirigiri Detective Clan, though she is notably not the heir.
At sixteen years old, Hope is already widely believed to be living up to her namesake. Cheerful, bubbly, and caring; Hope is a girl who is greatly admired by many for her charm and grace. Those who admire her would say that she’s always ready for adventure and fears nothing, but she herself would tell you that that’s a stretching of the truth. And those who dislike her would tell you a completely different story. They would tell you that she is childish and overly fanatical, to the point of letting it consume her very being. Others might tell you that she’s stubborn and constantly refuses to see when bad things are happening right in front of her. The one you’d probably hear the most is that she’s headstrong, for someone who tattles on others when they break the rules. And in a way, all of them are true, although she would insist that those traits are probably not as bad as they seem.
Some of Hope’s favourite things in the world are mystery novels, animals (especially dogs), pop music, make-up, her family, and craft projects. Her hobbies include costume design, theatre, cosplay, photography, playing video games, reading novels, and helping her younger sister out with mystery solving. Otherwise, Hope tends to dislike foul language, being called ‘bossy’ by her peers and being underestimated overall, her mother’s cooking, her great-grandfather, and generally anyone who has the audacity to disrespect her baby siblings. 
Hope is someone with many goals in life. She hopes to have a successful career in the costume design industry. If she cannot do that, she would like to succeed her father as Headmistress of Hope’s Peak Academy. She is also incredibly passionate about nurturing the world around her, and ensuring that people blossom to their full potential. So much so that she is certain that she’d like to have children some day, too. Her one major shortcoming that will likely get in the way of her life goals is that of her pride. She is often too proud to admit when she’s made a mistake or had any sort of shortcoming, which will hinder her in her journey if she’s not careful. 
She will be the second protagonist in the Danganronpa 21 series.
Sakura Asahina: 
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The adoptive daughter of Aoi Asahina, standing at 16 years old (November 17th, 2020). She holds the title of the Super High School Level White Water Rafter, and is the manager of the Hope’s Peak Academy Swim Team. She is 6′0 and 150 lbs, and has Type O blood. She is Japanese according to immigration, but her actual background is unknown. She is a student at Hope’s Peak Academy, as well as a waitress at the Sakuhina Cafe.
Sakura is the primary example of looks can be deceiving. Though she is a tall and buff-looking girl, she’s the walliest wallflower there ever was. She is highly shy when it comes to new people, and tends to stick to smaller social groups (which often leads her to spend time with Leon and Hope exclusively). Still, don’t let this gentle heart fool you. Apart from her reluctance to socialize, she also has a personality of her own. She is adventurous and compassionate, and has been described by others as dependable at any and all times. The kind of girl you go to when you have a problem and need help. She’s not a girl with a particular temper, and tends to be sort of dreamy-minded. The sort of person who believes wholeheartedly in the goodness of the people around her. If you manage to capture a spot in her heart, she will be as gentle and generous with you as possible -- granting you almost all of her attention. Still, Sakura is no manic pixie dream girl. Much like her mother, she is impatient and tends to jump to conclusions. These conclusions can often lead her to being oversensitive and emotional, and creating big, unnecessary reactions to small things. She is notably also socially awkward, and tends to worry about every detail of her social interactions... sometimes to the point of making herself ill. 
Among her list of favourite things is donuts, rabbits, physical activities, the sauna, fresh fruit, her mother’s cooking, and matchmaking TV shows. In terms of hobbies, she loves to bake, binge-watch TV shows with her mother, swim, babysit, quilt, jump rope, and white water raft. She also has a fondness for caring for plants. On the other side of things, what Sakura hates most in life is the fact that some people fear her. That, and a slew of other things. Yelling and loud noises, when others neglect their responsibilities, neglecting proper nutrition, dressing up formally, tofu, back aches, and shoulder tension. She also seems rather displeased at the amount of boys who don’t seem particularly interested in pursuing her romantically... not that she’d know what to say to them if they did choose to pursue her.
Sakura is unsure of what she wants to do with her future. She thinks she would like to continue with her talent; perhaps working with a team to lead them to victory. Unfortunately, her sport isn’t in the Olympics just yet. Otherwise, she thinks she might take over the Sakuhina Cafe if Aoi will allow her to do so. Or maybe be a social worker! She hasn’t decided yet, but likes having the options. She also dreams of getting married some day, but still struggles to talk to boys her age. Her biggest flaw in getting what she wants stems from the fact that she is emotionally vulnerable, and thus more prone to hurt and manipulation. 
She will be the sixth protagonist in the Danganronpa 21 series.
Leon Hagakure: 
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The son and eldest child of Kanon and Yasuhiro Hagakure, standing at 17 years of age (January 8th, 2020). He holds no ultimate title nor any exciting extracurriculars, but he does have a great interest in music mixing and DJ work. He is 6′0 and 151 lbs, and has Type A blood. He is of Japanese nationality, but is a quarter Jamaican from his father’s side. His affiliations start and end with Hope’s Peak Academy. 
The number one thing Leon might tell you about his personality is that he tends to wear people out on occasion. Not because he’s an overbearing person or anything, but mostly because being Kanon and Yasuhiro’s son has made him into a very weird person. At his best, Leon can be described as a laid-back, yet energetic young man. He is overall good-humoured and generally idealistic in comparison to his peers, albeit a little more naive than them, too. He struggles with knowing when to take things personally. In spite of what people might believe about him, though, he actually inherited Kanon’s courage and cleverness. The boy is much brighter than most tend to give him credit for. Likely because it is overshadowed by his larger flaws, such as his laziness and disorganization. His idealism frequently leads him to have unrealistic expectations of people, and also produces a lot of ideas that just cannot work in the real world. Not to mention that he’s just flatout irresponsible when it comes to just about everything. The only point in which he shows some competency in being responsible is when it comes to his baby sister, Kameyo.
Leon’s favourite things include manga, dubstep music, electric guitar, wasabeef flavoured chips, the scent of vanilla, and aliens. In terms of hobbies, he likes to mix music, play soccer, go mountain biking or hiking, doodling, calligraphy, playing baseball, playing video games, and wood carving. Alternatively, he notoriously hates homework, nagging, classic novels, whale meat, haircuts, and when his mother uses him as a test subject for make-up.
Leon isn’t someone who has a lot of direction. He’s a pretty good-with-the-flow guy. If he had a main goal to describe at the moment, it would probably be to graduate from high school. Maybe see if he could get a career in mixing music. If it’s not possible, he thinks he might like to become a teacher or a tour guide. Still, his major flaw in achieving those goals manifests mostly in the fact that he is lazy and lacks motivation.
He will be the ninth and final protagonist in the Danganronpa 21 series.
Koichi Naegi-Kirigiri: 
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Makoto and Kyoko Naegi-Kirigiri’s son, standing at 15 years of age (February 5th, 2022). He holds no ultimate title, and currently boasts no extracurriculars at school. As apart of his Reserve Class Talent Study, he is choosing to study martial arts. He is 5′1 and 100 lbs, and has Type B blood. He is of Japanese nationality and background. His affiliations include Hope’s Peak Academy and the Kirigiri Detective Clan, and is notably not the heir... he was actually never considered for the position of heir at all.
The self-proclaimed “most normal” member of his family, Koichi would consider himself a relatively uninteresting boy. His main traits include being sarcastic, somewhat serious, and leaderly. He has never been the kind of kid who has lots of confidence in himself, and as such tends to be modest and self-critical. He sports a sort of sophisticated understanding of the world in spite of his young age, and traditionally tends to view the world a bit differently than those around him. Much deeper into his soul, though, there is much more of a nervous boy trying to hide. When it comes down to it, Koichi is caring and reliable, often willing to give all of himself when shown that someone is deserving. Still, this also makes him much more sensitive. A lot of the time, people would categorize Koichi actually as a huge crybaby, and thus rather brittle. In truth he holds a certain degree of strength, but is often overcome by his own insecurity and worry of what others think of him. He is desperate to please those around him, and secretly dreams of living up to his father’s legacy. 
Things that Koichi really loves include novels, ramen, manga, tea, being challenged, video games, his family, and penguins. His hobbies include martial arts (with him being able to manage aikido, taekwondo, ju jitsu, judo, and hapkido), skateboarding, language study, playing the piano, playing basketball, playing video games, and volunteering to help others in need. What he dislikes, though, can be brought to a list of excessive attention, doing the laundry, not being allowed individuality from his parents, lecturing, coriander, and those weirdos who drink milk straight out of the carton. 
Koichi isn’t sure what his goals in life are yet. He’s only a kid, after all. All he knows is that he’d like to graduate high school at some point. He doesn’t really know where he would like to take this whole martial arts thing, but figures he will pass it onto his children. You know, to continue the Uzuchi family legacy somehow. Really, though, Koichi’s biggest life goal is just to have an adventure. The trait that will get in his way? His recklessness and insecurity over uncertainty.
He is the first protagonist of the Danganronpa 21 series. 
Natsumi Kuzuryuu: 
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The daughter of Peko and Fuyuhiko Kuzuryuu, currently 14 years old (August 16th, 2022). She holds the title of Super High School Level Fire Dancer, but makes no attempt at adding any extracurriculars. She is 4′11 and a measly 90 pounds, with Type A blood. She is of Japanese descent and nationality. Her affiliations include Hope’s Peak Academy, the Jabberwock Islanders, and the Kuzuryuu Gumi. She is notably the heir to the Kuzuryuu Clan, but after the traumas of the Tragedy, she and her family have stepped away from Yakuza work. When attending school, she utilizes the name Natsumi Kitagawa to protect her identity. 
If one thing can be said about Natsumi, it’s that she is absolutely Fuyuhiko’s daughter. At first, Natsumi projects herself as a boisterous and loud girl. She is ruthless, rude, and has an uncontrollable vocabulary of curse words. She is short-tempered and hot-headed; going as far as loving to get into fights with people just to watch them back down. She is aggressive and disorganized most of the time, and in spite of her family’s lack of real connection to the Yakuza anymore, she is still highly arrogant about being a rich heiress. A little too proud to be a Kuzuryuu, it seems. Deep down, though, she really means well. She is surprisingly patient with those who have earned her respect, as well as loyal to them until the very end. She may be rough around the edges, but truthfully Natsumi’s core is very soft. She is soft-hearted and highly romantic, as well as daring and freethinking. Justice is always the first thing on her mind, and she’ll fight for it no matter what. She loves people very deeply, and is always a shoulder to cry on for a friend in need.
Natsumi loves swords, flowers, any sort of wit, sour candy, seashells, and the smell of the ocean. Alternatively, she is not particularly fond of know-it-alls, her father’s lectures, the Island’s loneliness, and being criticized for her family’s past. For fun, she likes to craft weapons, garden, draw, play volleyball, mix drinks (mostly non-alcoholic... cause, you know, Fuyuhiko’s kid), and surf.
In all truth, she’s not sure that she really intends to take her fire dancing dream to a larger career. She’s considering reserving it for the people she loves, and as a means of showing the culture that Jabberwock developed post-Tragedy. Instead of using it as a career, Natsumi is hoping to eventually get married and have a family. She’s already picked out names for the four children she wants to have, and hopes to spend her time with them as a housewife. If she has to have a career, she thinks she could maybe enjoy being some sort of protector of the people. Perhaps an advocate? She’s not entirely certain. She just likes to joke that her Yakuza background makes her “want to help in a way that surprises people”. The thing that stands in the way of her goals the most is honestly her own ego, and sense of self-importance.
She is the third protagonist of the Danganronpa 21 series.
Phoenix Bartholomew Nevermind: 
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The only son of Sonia and Gundham Nevermind, aged 14 (September 18th, 2022). He holds the title of Super High School Level Parapsychologist, and currently boasts no extracurriculars. He is 5′9 and 145 lbs, with an AB blood type. He is half-Japanese, and half-European. His affiliations include the Jabberwock Islanders, Hope’s Peak Academy, and the Novoselican Royal Family. He notably has potential to be the next heir to the throne, should he challenge his mother’s second cousin, Amaris. For his protection, he utilizes the name Phoenix Tachibana while at school.
Phoenix is, admittedly, sort of a strange kid. On account of his sort of strange parents. He’s an eccentric boy with a joy for life, a taste for culture, and the absolute glee that comes from accepting who you are wholeheartedly. Most others use the words energetic, fun-loving, and friendly to describe him. His attitude is, for the most part, carefree. He refuses to let anyone tell him that he’s being too odd, and will try to treat them kindly even if they do so. Not to mention that he is imaginative and resourceful, able to handle himself better than most people might expect. However, the boy is still human. Unfortunately, he’s rather clumsy and extremely gullible. He is incredibly vulnerable to manipulation, and falls for it more often than he doesn’t. His perseverance skills could also use a bit of work, given that he is the type to give up easily when things don’t necessarily go his way. His father’s influence has also made him defensive of his views on the world, and he admittedly has some prejudice towards “non-demons” on account of his parentage.
Phoenix adores all things supernatural. Old movies and plush animals, too. Oh, and any food that’s sweet. Japanese dramas, fantasy novels, and fireflies are also pretty high on the list of favourite things. On the list of least favourites, there’s spiders, the smell of kusaya, seagulls, his contact lenses, and Natsumi’s insistence on fighting literally everyone that so much as looks at her funny. His hobbies include yoga, sand art, fishkeeping, sewing, reading, learning new languages, and making up mythical creatures for fun. 
Phoenix’s big dream in life is to someday return to Novoselic. He wishes to challenge Amaris, and take back his family’s position on the throne. Admittedly, part of the appeal does come from wanting to return his mother’s title to her, after it was stripped following the Tragedy. But a lot of it comes out of love for his country and his people, and wanting to connect with the part of him he has yet to meet. He does someday hope to get married, but he worries that Novoselic might object to his “less traditional” preferences in a partner. His biggest obstacle to his dreams (apart from Amaris) is his soft-heartedness and emotional vulnerability. 
He is the fourth protagonist of the Danganronpa 21 series.
Junichi “Jun” Togami: 
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The only son of Byakuya Togami and Aceline Aleshire, currently age 9 (May 16th, 2027). He holds no ultimate talent. He is 4′3 and 66 lbs, with Type B blood. He is of Japanese-European descent (French & German mother). His affiliations include the Akamine Academy for Gifted Youngsters and the Togami Conglomerate. He is notably the heir of the Togami Conglomerate. Among friends, he tends to go by the name “Jun”, but when his father’s around... well, everyone’s told that they’re obliged to call him Junichi. 
Referred to lovingly as “The Mini Byakuya”, Junichi is a child of ego, bluntness, and an overstatement of the value of wealth. He has a tendency to be arrogant, as well, so much so that he developed a rivalry with Seiko over which of them is more intelligent. He willingly looks down on anyone who he perceives to be below him, unless actively given a reason to respect them. Fortunately, unlike his father, he does think a sort of kindness warrants respect. When he’s not perpetuating his father’s questionable life lessons, most would categorize the boy as efficient, sensible, and articulate. He is straightforward and well organized, keeping everything neat and working as hard as he can to get what he wants. Sometimes, he can even manage to be helpful, when he really wants to be. Most likely on account of the loneliness he feels deep down.
Some of Junichi’s favourite things include math games, lizards, the piano and the violin, foreign novels, the night sky, and Renaissance art. He secretly also likes playing in the mud, but he’d never let anyone but Kameyo and Seiko know that. Generally, he has a distaste for rodents, the sight of blood, chocolate, cluttered spaces, eggplant, manga, death metal music, and his own mother. He is all too grateful that she is no longer in the picture. His hobbies are limited due to his business training, but when he has time to engage in them, he reads, plays the violin, does calligraphy, paints, and does ballet. He’s also always been kind of curious about make-up, but neglects this for he fears his father wouldn’t approve of him. 
Junichi’s main goal in life is to succeed his father in the Togami Conglomerate and restore the family to what it used to be. He has no greater goal than making his father proud by being strong, successful, and intelligent. He has already planned out his life all the way past graduating university with a specialization in business, and birthing a proper heir to come after even himself. Deep down, though, another one of Junichi’s dreams is to learn to accept himself for who he is. He’s awfully proud of him family legacy; however, he feels he can’t embrace all of himself if he’s choosing to follow it. His biggest flaw/hinderance when it comes to his goals is his unstable behaviour born from insecurity, and his possessiveness over the people he has in his life. 
Junichi will be the fifth protagonist in the Danganronpa 21 series.
Kameyo Hagakure: 
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The youngest child and only daughter of Kanon and Yasuhiro Hagakure, age 8 (March 17th, 2028). She currently holds no Ultimate talent, but as of her story debut, she is under consideration for the title of the L’il Ultimate Medium. She is 4′3 and 61 lbs, with Type B blood. She is of mostly Japanese descent, with a quarter of her background being Jamaican. Her affiliations include the Akamine Academy for Gifted Youngsters, although she someday hopes to go to Hope’s Peak Academy.
One of the biggest staples of Kameyo’s personality is her absolute cluelessness. She tends to have moments of absent-mindedness and is somewhat spacey, unable to always understand the things that are happening around her. She is not always the best listener, and tends to take action before she can even think about what needs to be done. This makes her forgetful and somewhat careless in activities that concern her everyday life. Most would not say that Kameyo is responsible. Still, the girl absolutely makes up for her flaws in heart. She is honest, humble, and passionate. She has high levels of empathy and can quite easily understand behaviours based on the energy they give off and what she knows about them already. She is warm and kind, which tends to help as she is extroverted and highly sociable. Overall, she is just a sincere young girl that others love to be around. She may not always seem like she’s paying attention or make the smart choice, but when she is, you can’t help but love her.
Kameyo is especially fond of fortune telling, dolls, make-up, sunflowers, scented candles, crystals, pop music, and of course, ghosts. She tends to dislike the dark, bitter foods (especially matcha), slurping sounds, being unable to identify where a sound is coming from, and when others compare her to Junichi and Seiko. In her free time, she loves playing baseball, doing ballet, doing crafts, playing pretend, doing make-up, and collecting dolls. 
Given that she’s so young, Kameyo wouldn’t say that she’s someone with a profound collection of goals. Really, she’d say that her big thing is wanting to prove to people that she’s not crazy. That she really can hear ghosts, and that most of the time, the ghosts don’t want to hurt you. She really struggles with the fact that most people tend to assume that she’s disturbed or just a child, and wishes she could do something more to show them. She thinks maybe getting into Hope’s Peak Academy as the Super High School Level Medium might change that for her. Otherwise, she’s just a kid who wants to have fun; she would love to make as many memories as possible with Junichi and Seiko at her side!
She is the eighth protagonist of the Danganronpa 21 series.
Seiko Naegi-Kirigiri: 
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The youngest daughter of Makoto and Kyoko Naegi-Kirigiri, currently 8 years old (December 14th, 2028). She currently holds the title of L’il Ultimate Detective, but cannot claim it yet. She is 4′2 and 59 lbs, with Type B blood. She is of Japanese descent. Her affiliations include the Akamine Institute for Gifted Youngsters and the Kirigiri Detective Clan, to which she is the heir. 
Confusing is the way most people would describe Seiko Naegi-Kirigiri. Probably due to her tendency to flip back and forth between being weirdly mature and then insanely childish rapidly. Her childishness shows most when someone first meets her, and she resorts to stoicism and shyness until she can get to know them better. Time will begin to show Seiko as an impish and impatient young girl, determined to get what she wants from the world. She is highly brilliant and confident in herself and her capabilities, and takes great pride in being a detective. Courage and willingness to stand up for others seems to pump through her veins, sometimes something she interprets as her “Kirigiri Blood”. She is friendly, dedicated, and kind. However, this doesn’t always show, due to other traits she possesses. She is commonly described as opinionated, graceless, and tends to speak bluntly about others. Given that she is so young and also of Kirigiri blood, she is frequently disobedient and impatient. One of the harshest things about her, though, is that she holds grudges and refuses to let go. 
Still, Seiko isn’t as harsh as she might seem. She’s still a little girl, after all. She has a child-like love of many things, such as snacks, Japanese mythology, chocolate, pretty rocks, and playing dress-up with her big sister. On the other hand, she dislikes secrets, pickles, green peppers, creepy old men, and being told to be more “lady-like”. Her hobbies include collecting stuffed animals and dolls, ballet, reading, climbing trees, playing chess, keeping a journal, and baking. 
Seiko’s primary goal in life, above all else, is to become a great detective like her mother. She wants to be a honourable part of the Kirigiri family, and ignite pride in her parents and great-grandfather. She hopes to someday open her own detective agency. If she can’t do that, though, she thinks she might want to be a professional ballerina. The only thing that might get in the way of this might be her impatience and spiteful nature.
Seiko is the seventh protagonist of the Danganronpa 21 series.
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sweetdreamsjeff · 2 years
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https://tidal.com/magazine/article/jeff-buckley-lost-interview/1-85988
Jeff Buckley: The Lost Interview
In this previously unpublished conversation from 1994, captured just days before the release of ‘Grace,’ the mythic singer-songwriter pushes through self-doubt, professes his undying love for the Smiths and New York City, and interprets a dream wherein he critiqued a serial killer’s photography.
July 21, 2022 by Tony Gervino
Q: Who and what are you going to become, Jeff? A: I don’t know, just something deeper: Buckley in 1994. Credit: Michel Linssen/Redferns.
In August of 1994, I interviewed the singer-songwriter Jeff Buckley for over an hour at the New York offices of Columbia Records. Other than pulling a few quotes for a regional music newspaper profile I wrote at the time, this conversation went unused. I put the recording in a box in my closet, where it remained for a quarter-century.
I went back over the transcript a couple of years ago and realized that our conversation offered a rare snapshot of the most pivotal moment in Buckley’s too-brief career. He hadn’t yet sat for many interviews and was trying to figure out his own narrative, just before he was to leave on a national tour that would make such quiet, thoughtful introspection a luxury.
The son of folk visionary Tim Buckley, he had made his mark in New York City as a solo artist in 1993, performing a suite of original songs and genre-spanning covers with only his guitar and multi-octave vocal range. The buzz didn’t really build; it seemed as if one day no one in the city’s music scene knew who Jeff Buckley was, and the next, everyone knew.
Prior to entering the studio to record his landmark debut album, Grace, which featured his most successful single, “Last Goodbye,” as well as his transcendent rendition of Leonard Cohen’s “Hallelujah,” Buckley mothballed his troubadour set. To help bring dimension to the music swimming around in his head, he recruited the collaborative working band of guitarist Michael Tighe, bassist Mick Grondahl and drummer Matt Johnson. He wanted his solo album to sound big, ambitious and genre-slippery as he headed to Bearsville Studios in Woodstock, N.Y.
Even though our meeting was less than two weeks before the album release, Buckley was still tinkering with the mixes on Grace, tormenting producer Andy Wallace with sonic flourishes and rewritten bridges, and hoping to squeeze every bit of inspiration out of himself before the tape stopped rolling. In the pre-streaming world, this was an unheard-of high-wire act for a debut artist. But for a young musician who was signed to Columbia Records after a prolonged bidding war, it indicated a bit of acquiescence on the label’s part. From what they’d seen of him, Buckley was a can’t-miss artist. He just needed time, which, tragically, he was ultimately denied. Jeff Buckley drowned in Memphis in May of 1997, just 30 years old.
I’ve edited this interview for length and clarity and removed some passages where I thought Buckley’s sarcasm could be misinterpreted, or where it spun off into tangents that ended with Buckley impersonating everyone from Paul McCartney to the French poet Baudelaire. He had the nervous energy of someone about to embark on a long journey, uncertain of its destination, and I wanted to ensure his answers would properly reflect not just his wit but his wisdom.
*****
How does it feel to have to do interviews?
Well, at the outset I guess I figured why would anybody care? But I’m smart enough to know that people would want to talk about my music. I just didn’t think anyone would for a publication. But at this point the fatigue hasn’t set in, and no question is a stupid one.
It’s still early.
[laughs] Mainly it’s helpful because I’m getting some ideas out about exactly what I think about some things. And the important thing in doing interviews is not to have any pat answers. That would make it unenjoyable for me. Like a … a murder suspect or something, in terms of having your story straight.
Have you finished mixing the new album?
No, I have one last day in the studio — one last gasp of creative breath before I have to go away. I’m totally pissed. Absolutely.
Did you write in the studio, or did you go in with the songs ready?
One of them was completely organized in the studio. But that was still prepared beforehand. A lot of stuff we’d done at the last minute because I was trying to get the right people to play with, and it took a while before I found them.
But that was only three weeks before I’d gone up to Woodstock to record and we hadn’t known each other that long, and the band material hadn’t developed as much. Some things were completely crystallized, and some things needed care, and they got it. I’m still not satisfied.
Let’s see: I get to go into the studio on Wednesday, the day before I leave and the night after I perform at [defunct NYC club] Wetlands. So I have one, two, three, four, five precious days to [work on the music], along with all the other stuff I have to do. I have to shoot some pictures, possibly for the album cover. Then at night I’m free to get these ideas together, and I’ll still have one last shot on two songs in particular. The producer [Andy Wallace] doesn’t even know what I want to do to this one song. [laughs] He’ll be horrified.
Have you played it out?
Uh-huh. There are just things I want to crystallize about it.
Is figuring songs out onstage a conscious effort on your part to fly or fail?
Yeah, because I love flying so much. But, really, it’s still a kind of discipline. I guess it’s an engagement. It’s not like having “song 1 to song 6 and then a talk.” I don’t know anybody who really does that. I know a lot of performers talk about not being so structured. … Sometimes you can see bands that have a set of songs, and that shit is dead. That … shit … is … dead.
When I perform, I’m working off rhythms that are happening all over the place, real or imagined, and it’s interactive. It’s got a lot of detail to it, so I can’t afford to tie it up in a noose, and put it in a costume that doesn’t belong on me. So yeah, it’s free but it has its own logic, and sometimes it completely falls flat on its face. But it’s worth the fall, sometimes. Because that’s life.
To me it makes sense to do things in that manner, because that’s really just the way life is when you step out of it and see that, like, your car has a flat and somebody smashed in your windshield and then, shit, you’re walking home and all of a sudden you run into somebody that turns out to be your favorite person for the rest of your life. It’s always … unfolding. You just have to recognize it, I guess. And that’s my philosophy, that I haven’t really thought about until you asked me.
Have you been a solo performer out of desire or necessity?
Both. I did it to earn money to pay rent in the place I was staying, and bills, and my horrible CD habit, and failing miserably all the time, always playing for tips and always just getting by — by the skin of my teeth.
To get this sound in order, you can have a path laid out in front of you, but if you don’t have the vehicle to go down the road you’ll never get to where you want to go. So I guess I was building the parts piece by piece or going through different forms, reforming them and trying out different ideas and songs.
How long have you been building these parts?
Some of them I wrote when I was 18 or 19, and some of them I wrote weeks ago, and some of them I’m still writing. [laughs] The rest of this album is kind of a purging, because the rest of the albums ain’t gonna happen like this. [points to chest] You’ll never see this person again.
Who and what are you going to become, Jeff?
I don’t know, just something deeper. Nothing alien, just something deeper. I’m just not satisfied. I’m really, horribly unsatisfied. Cause I kind of got an idea of where I want this thing to go. It’s still gonna be songs. I think about deepening the work that I do, and other problems I try to solve, like, “If I go to see this band in a loft, or if I went to see this band in a theater, and I wanted to be very, very, very enchanted and very engaged and maybe even physically engaged to where I’m dancing or where I’m moshing, what would that sound like? If I wanted to be cradled like a baby or smashed around like a fucking Army sergeant, what would that sound like?” I daydream all the time about it. And that’s sort of what I work toward. It’s more of an intimate thing.
In America the rock band is not an intimate thing, but in America soul bands are very intimate and blues bands are very intimate, like way back in the day, when people who invented blues were doing it. It’s all very interdependent and it’s all very … people had to listen to make the music. And it comes around in a lot of different ways. Things I’m doing now are pretty old-fashioned: I’m going on tour to little places to play small cafés. [He lays his itinerary out in front of us.]
What do you expect the reaction to be? You play New York City and, by now, the people here know your deal, but there are some cities where they’re not going to know.
That’s OK.
Will you tailor your performance to different tour stops? Does it change the way you perform?
Every time I perform it’s different.
How long have you been in New York City?
Three years. But I’ll always be here. I’ll always live here.
What is it about New York?
Everything. You know all the clichés: It’s the electricity, it’s the creativity, it’s the motion. It’s the availability of everything at any moment, which creates a complete, innate logic to the place. It’s like, there’s no reason why I shouldn’t have this now. There’s no reason I shouldn’t have the best library in the country, and there’s no reason why the finest Qawwali singer in all of Pakistan shouldn’t come to my neighborhood and I’ll go see him, and there’s no reason that Bob Dylan shouldn’t show up at the Supper Club.
There’s no reason that I can’t do this fucking amazing shit. And if you have a certain amount of self-esteem, it’s the perfect place because there’s so much. It’s majestic and it’s the cesspool of America. And there’s amazing poetry in everything. There are amazing poets everywhere, and some real horrible mediocrity, and an equal amount of pageantry. There’s also a community of people that have been left with nothing but their ability to put on a show, no matter what it is — whether it’s a novel or a performance reading on Monday night at St. Mark’s Church for 20 minutes.
Where do you do the bulk of your writing?
Everywhere. You know what? Mostly it’s in 24-hour diners, on too much coffee. That’s an old Los Angeles thing.
How much does the location affect the writing?
To me music is about time and place and the way that it affects you. There’s just something about it. There’s just some spirit that somebody conjures up and then it floats out at you and helps you or hinders you throughout your life. It’s either Handel’s Messiah or it’s “All Out of Love” by Air Supply.
Music is just fucking insane. It’s everything. Music is like this: It’s always seemed to me to be one of the direct descendants of the thing in the universe that’s making everything work. It’s like the direct child of … life, [of] what being “people” is all about. It’s incredibly human but it touches things that are around us anyway. [pauses, then quietly] It’s hard to explain.
Give it a shot.
It gets into your blood. It could be [the Ohio Express’] “Yummy Yummy Yummy” or whatever. It gets in. It’s not like paintings and it’s not like sculptures, although those are really amazing and powerful. But I identify with music most.
And is live music the next degree of intensity?
Oh yeah, if they’re singing to me. You never hear it again, but you never forget it. I mean, you never forget it. It’s like the first time your mother cries in front of you. But I like making [music] and … I want the music to live live, even be written live, so it’s always forming, it’s ever unfolding.
The king of improvisation is [the late Qawwali singer] Nusrat Fateh Ali Khan — the most I’ve ever been filled with any performer’s energy. I have over $500 of his stuff. And I never got to see Keith Jarrett, but there was a time when he was my big hero for the same reason. Big, huge improvisation. Improvisation is something that I identify with.
Which of your new songs is your favorite? Is there one that you can’t wait to get to in your live set?
Not yet. I give each song pretty much the same attention, and I have the same reservations and the same carefulness about making sure I bring out its best. No favorites.
Just days after this conversation, Buckley gigs at the storied NYC club Wetlands. This performance was immortalized in a posthumous live release.
Credit: Steve Eichner/Getty Images.
What’s a song by another artist that you wish you’d written, that completely devastates you?
Most of Nina Simone’s songs completely devastate me, although she didn’t write [most of] them. A lot of things that Dylan did are so impressionistic, even though his originals are supposed to be folky. Like “Sad-Eyed Lady of the Lowlands”: If I was a woman and he sang that to me, I’d be like, “Whatever you want, Bob. You want casual sex whenever you want it and still be with your wife? I don’t care.”
I’d like to write something like “Moanin’ for My Baby” by Howlin’ Wolf, and I’d also like to write something like [Gerry and the Pacemakers’] “You’ll Never Walk Alone.” I have schoolgirl crushes on a lot of songs that never seem to go away. Lots of Cocteau Twins. That’s somebody I got to tell exactly what I thought of them.
Where were they playing?
In Los Angeles, a long time ago on the Heaven or Las Vegas tour. I’m immensely in love with their originality, their shyness. … But … um … the Smiths! [stands up abruptly, then sits back down] I wish I’d written half the fucking Smiths catalog. There are so many: “I Know It’s Over”; I wish I’d written “How Soon Is Now?” I wish I’d written “Holidays in the Sun” by the Sex Pistols. I could go on forever, and I know you don’t have forever.
Maybe sleep on it. I’m curious, do you sleep a lot?
No, I don’t.
Is your mind constantly racing? Are you always just … fast forward?
Have you ever seen those film montages when a guy’s going crazy, and it just gets faster and faster and…
Yeah, sure, that’s exactly what I mean.
It’s exactly like that. It’s like, I don’t want to miss a thing, and [I get the] feeling that I will miss something. But usually I’m wrong. [laughs] But when I do sleep, I sleep hard and have the best dreams.
Do you remember your dreams?
Sometimes, and they become the basis for a lot of my learning. That comes along with my development as a human being. Lately I’ve been having a lot of killer dreams — like a killer is coming after me or I have to confront a killer. And when a killer is coming after me, what am I going to have to do? To kill him.
Interesting. What do you think that means?
That something in me is going to be murdered. That a psychic killer is coming. Actually, I met him. Sometimes I meet people inside of me that don’t like me; sometimes I meet people inside of me that want to make love with me more than anything; sometimes I meet the most bizarre animals and am in the most bizarre situations.
One dream, I met a serial killer who lived out in a small town in, like, Virginia. A small suburban town, very nice, white picket fence. And he lived in the town in a church with the pews taken out. And he was an artist.
You remember this much detail?
Just wait. He was a very short young man, probably about 28 years old with thinning black hair that I think he was ashamed of. He also had all of these photos of these people mangled beyond belief, carved up, dissected alive. They were still alive in these photos, and there was a wall of all of these seductively beautiful, textured, processed black-and-white photos. One man had been made into a basket. One man had been totally deboned but still kept alive, and his skin had been made into a basket upon which his head stood, looking straight into the camera. And right before he died, this snapshot was taken. And this is what this guy’s job was. And my task in the dream, I was the person that saw this amazing horror and this amazing pain. The photographs were screaming, and all of this madness, all of this waste at the hands of this person with a warped soul.
The irony of the dream was that his self-esteem was nothing, and he was saying, “This sucks. This is horrible. I don’t even want to show you.” I was so afraid of him and wanted to keep him in the same place long enough for the police to get him and take him away — while not being killed myself. Obviously. [laughs] So in order to be cool I had to ultimately be compassionate and point out the details in the picture where I felt there was brilliance and really good workmanship — all the while feeling that I would vomit any second, all the while so scared I thought I would cry. And that was the dream.
Sometimes I have really rhapsodic dreams, and sometimes I have little bits of memory … but lately it’s been killer dreams, and the police almost don’t come in time, although they do come in time. And then I met a woman inside me that hates me. I met the girl, I met the person that doesn’t like me, and then I met this person who was so lascivious sexually that she masturbates publicly all of the time, like she’s fixing her hair. And she looks beautiful doing it and really great, but everyone’s around her and she’s practically naked.
I’m pretty transfixed by [dreams]. I link them to the way I perform. I don’t see any separation, because when you sing there’s a psychic journey that happens.
Do you write a lot of poetry?
I garner my songs from my poetry. If anything looks like it’s vibrating, yeah. But it’s a raw thing.
Was the Live at Sin-é EP, released in November of ’93, supposed to hold people over until the album comes out?
No, it served that purpose, but no, it’s just because I love that place.
How often have you played there?
I’ve played there a lot. I played there for over a year. At first I couldn’t get a slot. Shane [Doyle], the owner, had too many demos to listen to. I gave him a demo and a review, which is something I never ever, ever fucking do: pay credence to any one journalist’s opinion. But this was a good review. [laughs] Some positive, some negative. Mainly the negative stuff was my fault.
So I thought that maybe I could get a gig at this little place because I wanted to play in little places to establish my sound and do the work and learn how to sing the way I wanted to sing. Because I didn’t have any teachers. There were teachers around Sin-é to teach what I needed to learn, but Shane couldn’t be bothered.
Then somebody crapped out on a bunch of Monday nights and my friend Daniel Harnett got me in. He said, “I’m doing one, and so you can do one too.” I was like, “Wow, thank you.” As it turned out, that was it. Bang! I really worked my ass off to get that gig and get others and to make money.
How did you hook up with Columbia Records?
They came to me. I didn’t intend for them to. I was just making music.
Were they the only label that came to you?
Nope. I met Clive Davis. Shook his hand. I met Seymour Stein. Seymour’s at Sire; Clive is at Arista. A lot of people were interested. I met somebody from RCA. Peter Koepke at London.
Were they in the audience at your shows? Then they’d come up to you afterward?
Yeah, and I didn’t really like it. I didn’t like Clive showing up in a limousine on the Lower East Side, in a fine suit. Poor guy — it was so hot in that fucking room.
This was Sin-é, right?
Yep, you were there — like a fucking furnace. In the middle of the fucking summer. I had my shirt off; the guy’s still in his work clothes ’cause his life is fully air-conditioned.
Did you have any misgivings about signing?
Of course I did. Being brought up around the music business in Los Angeles, you see the turnover of people being signed and dropped day after day after day, and it’s all written off as a tax loss. To the company, it’s no sweat off their nose.
But here in New York it’s more about the work, and you don’t get anywhere without the work and that’s what I was doing. But I had misgivings about the size of the places. I had misgivings about my deservedness, about how good I was. I had misgivings about who they thought I was and what they thought I was. And how I wasn’t what they thought. At all.
Which is? Don’t record companies think that every male solo performer with a guitar is the New Dylan?
No, they thought I was the second coming of Tim Buckley. [quietly] That’s what I thought they thought.
Is that a recurring worry of yours?
It was that as a child. But now I’m totally immersed in what I do. If someone asks a question about it, I just tell them as much truth about things as I know. I had no misgivings once I saw my first and only liaison to Columbia Records, [former head of A&R] Steve Berkowitz. He was there from a pretty early stage, just listening. Which is what he does. Because he loves music. And he’s smart. And he’s smart enough to work this fucking gig at Columbia and to do a good job. The personnel here [at Columbia] are what really changed my worries, but I’m really worried up until, like, now.
How would you describe your sound?
I can’t explain it because I’m actually confused. It’s not really a tremendous literary feat to describe it. It’s just an amalgam of everything I’ve ever loved and everything that’s ever inspired me. I’m using that now.
How do the Columbia folks describe you?
They don’t know. At a recent convention I played in Boca Raton for A&R folks at like 11 in the morning, the guy that introduced me said, “We really don’t know what this is. We don’t know what kind of record he’s gonna make. We just know he has to make it.”
… a.k.a. “Introducing the boy genius…”
I’m not a boy genius. I’m neither one, actually. But I’m aware that these people have to move units. I’m aware that this company, by inertia alone, has an agenda. That it can function without me, and I can function without it. But there’s a certain thing that I can’t have without it, and that’s making little plastic discs and traveling the world and being a musician, and they seem to want me. A lot. And I feel that where I’m going is worthwhile, that maybe when I get there this all will have been … whatever crappy shit I’ve ever done will be redeemed.
Do you think you’ll ever get there?
Sure. Or you’ll find me swinging from somebody’s dressing room [laughs] with a big blue arm holding a Jam tape.
More: Read a heartfelt tribute to Jeff Buckley by Juliana Hatfield.
CONVERSATIONS / JEFF BUCKLEY / ROCK / SINGER-SONGWRITER
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Tony Gervino is TIDAL’s executive vice president and editor-in-chief of programming and editorial. He was previously editor-in-chief at Billboard, SLAM, NBA Inside Stuff and HOOP magazines.
© 2022 Aspiro AB
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throughtheblue · 4 years
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For @clarasimone @mormontlady @myloveiainglen et al. COULD HE BE ANY MORE DREAMY? 😱
(I highlighted the parts that stood out most to me)
—————————————-
IS HE THE REAL THING?
In and around the Prince Edward Theatre a sense of bristling urgency is evident. Out on Soho’s Old Compton Street men shin up ladders and position huge posters in glass frames on its walls; inside, stagehands stride briskly around, looking purposeful and barking staccato phrases.
All this bustle is in aid of ensuring a good send-off to one of the most anticipated West End musicals of recent years, Martin Guerre, the latest creation of the two Frenchmen, Alain Boublil and Claude-Michel Schönberg, whose Les Misérables and Miss Saigon are seemingly permanent fixtures on London’s theatre scene.
It’s a £3.5-million production ­ a lot is riding on it. But you’d never know it from a visit to the dressing room of Iain Glen, the star of Martin Guerre. Upstairs, the atmosphere may be sticky, rushed and stressful; in here, it is cool and tranquil, and Glen is talking about the role in calm, soothing tones.
“If you fall on your face you fall on your face. It’s only theatre,” he says in his genteel Edinburgh accent. “I’m philosophical about it. Nothing comes of worrying if I’ll be good enough. You just have to be careless enough to think, well, I’ll just give it a go.” He smiles beatifically.
My first reaction is to phone the producer Cameron Mackintosh and ask if he knows of his star’s nonchalant attitude. (😂) My second is to wonder if Glen is in an advanced state of denial, or just failed to grasp the problem. The stakes are, in theatrical terms, sky-high; and as Arnaud ­ a soldier who turns up in a 16th-century French village claiming to be Martin Guerre, one of its natives feared long dead in the wars ­ Glen is pivotal to the show’s success.
Because Martin Guerre is a sung-through musical, with a mere smattering of spoken dialogue, Glen’s serene demeanour is even harder to comprehend: he is, after all, a man who has never sung on stage in his life. “I play guitar and piano ­ but I’ve only ever sung to my Mum and Dad,” he says.
He’s been chosen for his acting, of course. Before Miss Saigon, remember, Jonathan Pryce was not exactly noted for his singing. “They’re story-tellers” says Glen of Boublil and Schönberg, “and I think they feel actors can tell stories more effectively than someone who has only trained as a singer.”
In nine years since leaving Rada, Glen, 33, has amassed a wide range of credits. But nothing prepared him for the rigours of starring in a musical.
Mackintosh cast him just before Christmas, then ordered him to do intensive voice work. Glen readily agreed. “I had no real confidence in my singing, and I’d have been too terrified to try and cruise through.” He has since attended three singing lessons a week, and is drinking four litres of bottled water a day to protect his vocal chords.
And now? “Singing is like running 100 metres,” he reports. “The more you do it, the easier it becomes. “ He also finds it induces exhilaration and has been surprised to find himself moved by the French duo’s songs. “We did a first run-through with a 40-piece orchestra at Sadler’s Wells, and I was overawed. Music I’d heard being plonked on a piano for the previous 10 weeks was suddenly being played by violins, clarinets and bassoons. I started to cry at one point in the middle of a song, it was so overpowering.”
He grew up in Edinburgh and attended Aberdeen University, where the drama society lured him. As a Scot with an Equity card, he found work came early after Rada, and soon did a couple of Screen 2 dramas for the BBC in Scotland.
After the film Mountains of the Moon, Glen’s blond, clean-cut, square-jawed looks attracted Hollywood producers. “I was offered a couple of films that went on to be quite big in America,” he says. “But they just didn’t excite. Since then, I’ve been happy not to be typecast.”
Stardom then has not been an issue until now. Glen and his wife, actress Susannah Harker, try to live a quiet life in a suburban London with their 13-month-old baby son, Finlay. “In this country, it’s possible to have a rich, varied career without being spread all over the tabloids,” he says. “A lot of the actors I admire most can quite happily go shopping and not be bothered.”
Glen is a pleasant man who seems to think it is within his power to keep stardom at arm’s length and his private life private. As I leave the cool quiet of his quarters and rejoin dozens of stagehands and technicians upstairs, hotly labouring to make Martin Guerre a hit, the thought occurs: he may be in for a shock on both counts.
– By David Gritten
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alltheselights · 3 years
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Hey so I am a solo louie, I follow you despite you being a larrie because I think you are super level headed and quite frankly I love that you separate how you feel about their relationship and their career your damn good writer too. I became a fan last year and I am well aware that for the most part larries don’t believe that child is his. Apart of me thinks that is just crazy but another knows that the entertainment industry is also batshit crazy so anything can happen. What I don’t understand is the point of it , nobody really cares and there is no way he would come out of this without without ruining his life and like I just don’t see how the whole thing makes any sense. None of it makes any logical sense like how do they plan all of this to end and why ?
VERY long response under the read more!
I think the key thing you’re forgetting is that when this started, people DID care. This didn’t start in 2017 or 2020 - Louis’ heavy closeting with Eleanor started all the way back in 2011 (a much different time then now) and babygate started in 2015. Louis was in the biggest band in the world and there were continual widespread rumors about him and his bandmate being together - his bandmate who was set up as the heartthrob frontman from the beginning of the band and I think starting in 2014 (or whenever Jeff first entered the picture) was looking toward an eventual future solo career, which is exactly what Sony wanted.
I think part of it was just to shut down the rumors with Harry, who again, I think Sony has always viewed as their money machine, and also just because just as many boybands before them, One Direction was marketed to girls as objects of their lust - boys the fans could fantasize about dating. I don’t believe any of the boys who may have identified as LGBTQ+ would have been permitted to come out while in the band because of this marketing strategy, but especially not Louis, who many stereotyped as gay from day one of the band and who many shipped specifically with the most popular of the heartthrob members.
I think the other big part of it is just punishment for Louis and always has been. Not only did he threaten their bottom line by not fitting into the cookie cutter One Direction straight boy mold that Sony clearly wanted and expected from all the boys, but he also fought for One Direction to become more than Sony/Syco wanted them to be. They expected the band to make them a lot of money with bubble gum pop songs for a few years and then burn out quickly when they’d overworked them too much and when all the girls turned toward a new shiny boyband or artist on the horizon, but what they didn’t account for was the fact that rather than falling in line, Louis and the others would fight to write more on the albums and Louis specifically would fight for them to mature their sound. And Louis was very successful in that because even though One Direction was not at their peak popularity with some of their later, more mature, and more well-written albums, they developed a fanbase with that music that would’ve stuck around long-term, not just for their personalities and pretty faces but for the actual music, which I suspect would never have happened if they’d just continued on their generic path that Sony set them on.
Most solo Louies recognize the sabotage of his career with his lack of promo, the fact that he is never protected or defended in the media by his team, and how they push his personal life as a focal point for most promo rather than his talent and music. If you can recognize that, it’s probably not that hard to imagine that they could saddle him with a beard and a fake child to double down on his heterosexuality and then continue it out of spite, fully recognizing that they have tied his hands in terms of his public image because it’s been so long of this, media trained him out of showing his true personality and mannerisms for years, and alienated him from large portions of his fanbase - because Larries are NOT the only group of his fans that suspect he is not straight - I know tons of solo Louies do as well.
The question of why it’s continuing today is a great one and I wish I had the answer and could see what’s happening behind the scenes. If Louis had finally gotten rid of Sony and Syco last year and immediately his solo career started improving, suggesting that his team was finally working for him and doing their jobs properly, and still the stunts continued, I think it would make sense to start to wonder whether Louis wanted that for himself. However, that’s not what happened at all. Louis still has the same management and PR, PR that has always been associated with Sony and Syco, by the way, and there have been no improvements to anything related to his career. I understand that there are limitations because he hasn’t toured or put out a new album yet, but I think you just have to see the lack of press, promo, and even basic respect and recognition around his massive record-breaking livestream in December and his upcoming festival to see that things haven’t changed. LTHQ on Twitter continues to be as useless as ever, Louis’ social media is rarely used to promote his career, and there has been no attempt to build hype for the future music that Louis is working on aside from a single set of pap pictures outside of the studio. These are some of the most basic things that a normal team would be working on, particularly considering how massive Louis’ platform is and how excited his fans have been even throughout the pandemic.
Louis watches what his fans say about everything on Twitter, and when he’s able to, he changes things with a snap of his fingers to ensure that his fans are happy. There’s no doubt in my mind that Louis has watched fans continue to complain about his team over the last year, yet nothing ever changes or improves, and he occasionally makes subtle nods to the fact that his support and successes are thanks to the fans only - never his team. It’ll be interesting to see what happens when he releases new music, but at least as of now, I think it’s evident that Louis is still not being positioned for success in his career with the team that he’s with, even after leaving Syco/Sony.
Without knowing what contracts Louis has signed over the years and how long they are binding, it’s impossible for fans to know how free he is officially, so all we can do is go off of what we see. And what I see right now is that nothing has changed with his career, and so while it seems absurd, it doesn’t actually shock me that much that other elements haven’t changed either. I also think it’s going to be very difficult for them to end babygate in particular at this point, which is probably something at the forefront of their minds.
So I can’t answer for why it hasn’t ended or when and how it will, but I can tell you that as long as his career is not prioritized by anyone around him, I find it very hard to believe that he is 100% free to make his own choices. Even if commercial success is not Louis’ number one priority, we’ve seen so many times how much it means to Louis when he does well on the charts. I do sometimes worry that Louis has given up and resigned himself to this fate because of how long he’s been sabotaged - I’ve worried about this particularly in the last year or so - but I still don’t believe this is all his choice. You can’t convince me that this person who was so clever with how to mature the band in One Direction, this person who has so much interest in the back end of the music industry, this person who has fought tooth and nail for a solo career that nobody thought he could pull off, this person who cares so deeply about what his fans think, is content with the team around him not bothering to do the basics of their job - to the constant widespread and loudly expressed frustration of his fanbase. And as a result, I suspect that babygate and Elounor are likely still around for the same reasons the rest hasn’t improved.
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claritalunaluna76 · 5 years
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MBW’s World’s Greatest Managers series profiles the best artist managers in the global business. This time, we speak to Mark Gillespie, founder of Three Six Zero and manager to huge artists like Calvin Harris. The World’s Greatest Managers is supported by Centtrip Music, a specialist in intelligent treasury, payments and foreign exchange – created with the music industry and its needs in mind.
Mark Gillespie grew up in Redditch, just south of Birmingham, England – where, as a teenager in the mid-’90s, he developed his passion for electronic music as a record collector and amateur DJ.
From there, he met local promoter Eddie Boulton, who gave him a job handing out flyers for Birmingham’s soon-to-launch legendary superclub Godskitchen.
Within a couple of years, Gillespie – deemed something of an internet-age whizkid within Godskitchen – was becoming an increasingly influential figure within the club, helping pick out emerging DJ talent, while also building websites, launching digital marketing campaigns and acting as a talent liaison.
This was a heady lifestyle for an 18-year-old dance music fanatic, which, by Gillespie’s own admission, invited “all kinds of crazy shit” into his life. Including the fact that local gangs – particularly the notoriously violent Birmingham Zulus – liked to frequent the club.
“For quite a while, I wore a bulletproof vest to work,” says Gillespie, matter-of-factly. “That was just being sensible; there’d always be standoffs between various gangs over who was and wasn’t allowed in the club. And then one night, this guy pulled a gun out and waved it right in my face.”
Funny thing is, Gillespie (pictured) doesn’t actually count this incident as his worst ever day at work. That came a couple of years before, when he considered turning his back on the music game for a ‘proper job’, by starting an engineering apprenticeship (similar to an internship) at UK car maker Rover.
“They were good people, but I hated it,” he says. “One day, I just stood up and walked out; I realized I had to make my music stuff work, otherwise I’d be at Rover for the rest of my days.”
Getting a gun thrust in his mush for Gillespie was, relatively speaking, still living the dream.
By 2003, Gillespie had progressed to booking the DJ’s at Godskitchen and its related festivals, as well as processing payments for talent and managing project budgets.
If anyone ever tells you that learning on the job is somehow bested by an academic education, let’s just run through the skills that Gillespie acquired within a few years of joining a nightclub as the flyer kid, aged 16: promotion, artist liaison, accounting, digital marketing, coding, talent booking, self-preservation – not to mention one of the best contacts books in the world of electronic music.
The next step was inevitable, wasn’t it? Godskitchen began releasing compilation albums through Sony Music, giving Gillespie a taste of how the wider record business worked.
Inspired by the likes of UK indie labels Defected, FFRR, and Toolroom, he hatched a plan to launch his own part-time record company – while still working at Godskitchen – and began scanning MySpace “for hours and hours most days, just trying to find new music played by interesting people”.
Eventually, Gillespie landed on the MySpace page of Scottish producer/DJ, Calvin Harris, and hotfooted it up to Glasgow to meet him. Leaving the city deeply impressed, Gillespie made a life-changing decision. “I pivoted,” he says. “I decided I didn’t want to be Calvin’s label – I wanted to be his manager.”
This was the beginning of what would become globe-straddling artist management powerhouse, Three Six Zero. Via his role at Godskitchen, Gillespie had become friendly with influential UK DJ and broadcaster Pete Tong and, in mid-2006, Gillespie passed Tong a CD with a bunch of Harris’s music on it. Tong played his track, The Girls, on his Friday night show on BBC Radio 1, and Gillespie’s cell phone began lighting up.
“I made the decision, right then, to quit my job and become a manager full time,” says Gillespie. “Calvin said to me, ‘Are you sure you want to do this?’ Looking back now, leaving [Godskitchen] probably was a real leap of faith, but it didn’t feel like it at that moment.”
Before we come on to the status of Three Six Zero in 2019, it’s worth reiterating the enormity of Calvin Harris’s worldwide success. He has sold 12 million records globally to date, including 44 million singles, and has had 14 UK No.1s. He has also amassed over 16 billion audio and video streams.
Originally signed by Mike Pickering at Columbia in the UK, Harris is one of Sony’s bestselling, and perennially prioritized, global artists. He’s worked with everyone from Rihanna to Dua Lipa, Florence + The Machine, Sam Smith, Khalid, Pharrell Williams, Ariana Grande and Migos.
In tandem with Harris’s rise, Gillespie, alongside his former business partner Dean Wilson, has built Three Six Zero into a truly blockbuster player in the global music industry. Based in Los Angeles, TSZ has one of the strongest rosters in dance music globally – with Harris, Tiësto and Disciples on its books, amongst others. It also reps leading lights in other genres like Louis Tomlinson, Kacy Hill and Grammy Award-winning producer Noah Goldstein.
Gillespie has an excellent story about his first foray into the United States with Three Six Zero: A major record label was interested in hiring the British exec to run a dance music-focused subsidiary. He took the meetings, and the paid flights to New York, gladly – but while in town, he was also meeting with Roc Nation’s Jay Brown, with whom Gillespie and Three Six Zero ended up going into business with for almost a decade.
Today, after a transformational year, Three Six Zero is fully independent, and fully-owned by Gillespie. TSZ recently launched a new office in London, headed up by long-term friend of the company, Phil Sales.
Gillespie, a major movie buff, has also quietly made a name for Three Six Zero in the film world, managing the likes of feature-maker Brady Corbet, Shameik Moore – the lead actor in Academy Award-winning animated movie, Spider-Man: Into The Spider-Verse – and bestselling author/ scriptwriter Bret Easton Ellis.
Three Six Zero’s ambitions in Hollywood moved up a couple of leagues earlier this year, when Music Business Worldwide broke the news that the firm had acquired Westbrook Entertainment. That firm’s on-screen talent – including Will Smith, Jada Pinkett Smith, Jaden Smith, Willow Smith, Kenna and Crespo – are all now integrated into the TSZ family.
What’s more, Three Six Zero launched its own first feature film – the acclaimed Vox Lux, starring Natalie Portman and Jude Law – at the end of last year. The soundtrack to the movie was released on Three Six Zero’s in-house record label, headed up by Pete Tong, which Gillespie runs as a JV with Sony Music Entertainment.
MBW recently sat down with Gillespie over dinner in Los Angeles to map out Three Six Zero’s history, and to learn what the British entrepreneur has up his sleeve for the future…
YOU’RE NOW FLYING SOLO AS THE HEAD OF AN INDEPENDENT THREE SIX ZERO – HAVING ALWAYS HAD BUSINESS PARTNERS SINCE YOU LAUNCHED THE COMPANY IN 2007. WHAT’S THAT LIKE?
The idea of running this company solo used to terrify me. But now it’s different: I like the autonomy, and I like that you can craft decisions that are entirely yours.
There isn’t any interruption in what you’re doing. In some ways, it’s more difficult, but in other ways it’s more enjoyable.
WHAT ARE THE BEST THINGS ABOUT THE MUSIC BUSINESS IN THE US?
I love the professionalism; people really take pride in what they do and that resonates with me. The level of execution that you see in the US business is very impressive – some of the festivals and the live touring setups in particular. You regularly come across people that are prepared to push the envelope [in order] to be able to ensure that really great and interesting things happen.
The potential scale in America is fascinating – the business here really thinks about things on a global basis. I’m really proud of the fact that we’ve managed to handle our business over here, and I’m really grateful that we’ve been enabled to do that.
We all know that some people [from international territories] come to the US with an attitude that they’re going to tell people what to do – to me, that suggests those people believe it’s somehow easy to conduct business over here, and it’s really not.
The flow of business and the way that things are done is totally different to the UK but I love it, and I’m hugely passionate about it.
CAN YOU TALK ABOUT THE TRANSITION FROM CALVIN HARRIS THE FRONTMAN TO CALVIN HARRIS THE SUPERSTAR DJ? SOME PEOPLE IN THE STATES MIGHT NOT KNOW THAT HE STARTED OUT AS A SINGER, VERY MUCH IN FRONT OF THE DECKS – BEFORE EMBRACING HIS KINGMAKING ROLE AS THE ARCHITECT BEHIND THE SCENES….
It’s one of the smartest decisions that he made in his career – and it was all him. He used the live touring circuit in the early stages of his career to help establish his business and hone his identity.
At that moment in time [indie/dance crossover acts with ‘frontmen’] was what was happening in the UK, but he saw what was coming and very intelligently saw that the world was turning in a slightly different direction. He also happened to write some of the greatest records ever released at the right time. That always helps.
HOW GOOD IS CALVIN?
His successes broadly speak for themselves. I may seem biased but I think he’s the best writer/producer of his generation.
I love him as an artist and a person. He’s ridiculously hard working, always has been, and he’s a huge a supporter of mine. His drive has definitely helped pushed me along over the years.
OTHER THAN JAY BROWN AND ROC NATION, WHO ELSE HAS BEEN MENTOR FIGURES IN THE US FOR YOU?
Rob Stringer. He’s really perceptive, and gave me some of the soundest advice in the early stages of my career. He’s also helped guide me, on more than one occasion, through what can sometimes be quite a complicated and political business.
Then there’s Michael Rapino – one of the smartest guys in the industry. He has a very direct, knowledge-based approach, which I respect him for. [That approach] is why, above anything else, I think he’s so tremendously successful.
On the subject of mentors, no-one comes close to my mum. She was an entrepreneur and raised three kids on her own. We didn’t have a lot, but she managed to get us into a place where we all had enough.
Redditch is a very ‘normal’ place; part of it’s really nice, part of it’s shitty, and the town center is ‘burger, fries and two black eyes’. It’s not South Central, but it’s not Kensington either. She’s been an incredibly good example to me that if you work really hard, you can achieve important things.
WHY HAVE YOU GOT SUCH A HUNGER TO MAKE MOTION PICTURES OR AUDIO/VISUAL CONTENT?
Partly because I think that the world that we live in now requires the ability to work across multiple disciplines. And partly because I love film, and always have.
Film, TV, short-form digital content, music and socials all used to be very separate, different disciplines. But over the past few years, with the massive growth in streaming, they’ve all moved closer together – and I think they’ll continue to move closer together.
A lot of people ask me whether I’m moving more towards film [at the expense of music] and I’m not. I work pretty much every moment that my eyes are open, and the film thing began as a hobby. I decided to do a few things that made us a bit more of a [Hollywood] entity, and which showed that we have reasonably good taste.
We’ve had a few successes now, and I think that all of the practical lessons that we learn from the [film] business will be hugely beneficial to the music side of our business. But, by no means, am I getting out of the music business. If anything, I’m more focused on music than I ever have been for my entire career; I think this is the most exciting time that the music business has ever seen.
WHY?
There are fewer barriers. There is opportunity for all different types of music to be able to break through.
Also, streaming is working, so there’s the revenue there, if distributed correctly, for the industry to develop and build big artists.
Interesting things are happening in the music business on a daily basis. Since the start of my career, I’ve been hugely into technology, and hugely into music, and I feel like at this moment in time, I get to do a bit of both every single day.
WHY DID YOU START A LABEL WITH SONY?
Three Six Zero has always run labels since the beginning of our business. [The company previously released albums from the likes of The Prodigy in the US via a JV deal with Warner Music Group and label-managed Mau5trap, Rising and Fly Eye Records.]
Running a label helps define your level of taste as a company. It also means you can have different levels of involvement in the careers of talent. The most enjoyable part of that is the ability to work with other managers, actually.
As for why Sony, part of it is because [via Calvin] I’ve spent eleven years getting to know everyone in that system; if I need to ask a question of somebody in Mexico, I know who to pick the phone up to. I know all the label heads in all the major markets, and there’s some really great people there.
Sony’s a really good company at the moment with a great perspective.
YOU’VE HAD SOME BIG CHARACTERS AS CLIENTS DOWN THE YEARS, INCLUDING TRAVIS SCOTT, MORRISSEY AND FRANK OCEAN. ONE OF THE MOST NOTORIOUS MOMENTS INVOLVED FRANK AND THE RELEASE OF BLONDE, WHERE HE COMPLETED HIS ALBUM DEAL WITH UNIVERSAL WITH A VIDEO-LP, ENDLESS, THEN INDEPENDENTLY RELEASED WHAT APPEARED TO BE HIS ‘REAL’ ALBUM WITHIN DAYS. HOW DID THAT SITUATION COME ABOUT?
Frank is a private guy, and that’s part of what makes him so great. So if that story is ever to be told, he should be the one telling it.
WHAT DO YOU THINK IS GOING TO BE THE NEXT MAJOR TECHNOLOGICAL SEA CHANGE IN THE MUSIC INDUSTRY?
The business needs to find a new format, in order to protect itself.
The biggest threat to the music business right now is decentralized networks. Thanks to Daniel [Ek] and Spotify, a new economy has been created in the business from streaming, but decentralization is a potential threat to that. Decentralization [i.e. blockchain technology] is something that was super buzzy for a year or two, and has gone away a bit, but I think it will swing back around at great pace in the next five years, and could be potentially devastating for the entire entertainment content business.
What happens after streaming is something that we need to focus on. The good news is that there are people within the major record companies and major publishers that are a hell of a lot more technologically savvy than they were when Napster hit.
One other thing is that I think other streaming platforms, from outside music, will want to get into music. That’s going to make things interesting but it’s potentially a threat as well – making sure that music is valued at the correct amount when that happens.
WHAT’S NEXT FOR THREE SIX ZERO?
We’re in a place where we can largely do what we want, which is interesting. Over the last eighteen months, I’ve spent a lot of time reconnecting with my British roots, and I’ve come to the conclusion that, if everything came to an end tomorrow, I’d like to be seen as the guy who took some good British stuff to America and made it successful.
I hope for us to do more of that, which means spending a bit more time back in London, re-establishing the business there. I love seeing some of the new, young managers from the UK having a go at moving out [to L.A] and getting stuck in.
And obviously I’m really excited to see what we can achieve with Will [Smith], Miguel [Melendez] and the Westbrook guys. I’ve known them for seven or eight years, we all share a similar philosophy, and they’re very smart and innovative people. There is a real opportunity to work with them to grow our intellectual property [portfolio] while expanding our entertainment management business.
WHAT’S HAPPENING WITH THREE SIX ZERO UK? LAST WE HEARD IT WAS BEING CLOSED BUT NOW IT’S BACK.
It would be impossible for us to be champions of British talent and not have an office in London. Phil [Sales] is our head in London; we’re partners in the UK business and we’re building it around him.
He’s very direct, he’s honest, he truly loves music, and he’s incredibly passionate about what he does. I’m seeing lots of great things happening in the UK, musically.
The British business seemed to get very locked off [outside the US] for about a year and a half, but that seems to be changing now.
WHAT SIZE DO YOU WANT THREE SIX ZERO TO BECOME AS AN INDEPENDENT COMPANY?
I’m definitely not looking for mass scale – I’m not trying to be the biggest anything ever again. That’s one of the most important lessons I’ve learned in my career so far; being the biggest is not necessarily being the best.
Continually re-assessing what success means to you – especially after you have prolonged success – is the most difficult bit of running a business, but it’s essential.
A specialist in intelligent treasury, payments and foreign exchange, Centtrip Music works with over 450 global artists helping them and their crew maximise their income and reduce touring costs with its award-winning multi-currency card and live foreign exchange rates. Centtrip Music also offers record labels, promoters, collection societies and publishers a more cost-effective way to send payments across the globe.
Music Business Worldwide - July 10, 2019
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wolfpawn · 4 years
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I Hate You, I Love You, Chapter 34
Chapter Summary -   Taylor's new song causes Danielle to wish she was a more physically aggressive person, but she keeps herself calm.
When Luke turns up on set, slightly miffed, his annoyance is quickly diverted from Danielle and Tom's relationship to Taylor, leading to him getting to know Danielle even better, what does he think of Tom's new flame?
Previous Chapter
Rating - Mature (some chapters contain smut)
Triggers - references to Tom Hiddleston’s work with the #MeToo Movement. That chapter will be tagged accordingly.
authors Note - I have been working on this for the last 3 years, it is currently 180+ chapters long.  This will be updated daily, so long as I can get time to do so, obviously.
tags: @sweetkingdomstarlight-blog  @jessibelle-nerdy-mum@nonsensicalobsessions @damalseer @hiddlesbitch1 @winterisakiller @fairlightswiftly @salempoe
If you wish to be tagged, please let me know.
It took every fibre of restraint in Danielle’s being to not want to go over and slap that smarmy tart across the face as she gave the Safety Officer a sickeningly sweet false smile on her entered the set for everything she had said of Danielle and of Tom. Danielle remained right next to the head of the studio, who of course, would not miss the opportunity to suck up to the famous pop star. It was her best defence, knowing from Taylor’s demeanour that she would relish in getting Danielle fired.
“Well then, Ms Hughes, this is the placements for everyone, is there any issue?” the producer and choreographers asked.
Scanning the plans, her eyes widened. “You can’t do this.”
“And why not?” Taylor demanded, “Just because it hasn’t been done before doesn’t mean it can’t. That is the difference between an artist and some set worker, you lack the vision to do something like this.”
“Actually, I am sorry to inform you, Ms Swift, this is not a revolutionary idea, it has, in fact, been done ad nauseum. The issue here is not the inability to do it, but the safety factors involved. That.” she pointed to a nearby pillar, “Is purely for decoration, it not for function. It is only plasterboard and other cheap, breakable materials, and is not attached to the ceiling, or indeed the floor. Your dancers are very much at risk if you have them dance too close to it, it could very easily fall over, and though it is not functional, it is close to half a tonne in weight, not something I could ever possibly sign off on as being safe.” She explained logically, loving the fact that every word she spoke drove Taylor more and more to the brink of a tantrum, knowing that she could not argue Danielle’s point without others thinking her as being nothing more than petulant. “I can suggest other safer areas if you’d like.” She offered the producer.
The rest of the shoot went as well as it could in Danielle’s opinion, considering the main person dictating the shoot was the narcissistic ex-girlfriend of her boyfriend who seemed hell-bent on getting a reaction from Danielle. The song, as Danielle had gathered, was not only slating Tom as a user, a manipulator and a cheat, but also ensured to hint that Danielle, or the ‘The Heeler’ the title of the song referenced to, was the reason for the protagonist’s pain and hurt. She just bit her lips together and made comments to the producer where necessary to ensure the safety of everyone on set; though were Taylor to be hit across the head by a low beam, she would not have been entirely heartbroken.
“Thank you for all your hard work, Taylor was right to specifically ask for you.” The producer smiled politely.
Danielle mulled over those words for a moment when something came to her. “I have never worked with Ms Swift before, how did she even hear of me?” she asked, playing innocent.
“Well, I assume it has something to do with your work on other music video’s.” the producer dismissed, thinking nothing of it.
“I have never done a music video.” Danielle countered.
The producer frowned, “Did you work stateside?”
“I have never been to the States. This is my fourth ever gig. Sherlock, a soap opera, Game of Thrones, Beauty and the Beast.” She listed off.
“Odd, she knows no one really on those; your reputation obviously precedes you, because she was adamant about having you here.” He shrugged and walked off, leaving Danielle very concerned as to how Swift knew her career change.
“She’s over there, black jacket saying S.O. on it.” She heard a guy instruct.
Terrified as to who it was, she turned, shocked to see Luke Windsor coming towards her, grimacing internally at the annoyed look on his face “Mr Windsor.”
“Ms Hughes.” He replied curtly.
“You do not look best pleased.” She commented.
“Perhaps that is because I am not.”
“Is it anything to do with my relationship with one of your clients?” she gambled.
“That is exactly what it is.”
“Have we been spotted?” She knew it was only a matter of time before they were, but she had hoped to have spoken with Sophie before being thrown to the wolves or crazy fangirls as the case may be.
“No, there is no hint of anything.”
She frowned. “Then I don’t understand.”
“Would you like to know how I found out my biggest actor is seeing a set safety officer?”
“Tom sending a drunken text?” she guessed.
“No, that would actually have been better.” He growled. “I found out when I was speaking with Emma, Watson that is, and she made mention that she has seen Tom quite frequently of late, and how she was delighted he found a, and I quote ‘great, down to earth and decent’ girlfriend.” He explained.
“I know you’re mad Tom didn’t tell you that your conversation with me fixed our little miscommunication issue, but I am just going to bask in the knowledge that the Emma Watson called me those things.”
“You were just as capable of telling me.”
“I am not your client, though. I can’t imagine your secretary putting through my calls.”
Luke made a face that told her he could not argue that. “Well, a warning from either of you would have been nice, I need to make sure that when this does become public, that I actually know what is going on, as it stood, I thought there was nothing between you.”
“Shh!” Danielle looked around to see if anyone was close by. Luke looked around confused. “I…Do not bring that up here, please.”
“Why not?”
“Well, one; I don’t want anyone thinking I got where I am by sleeping with an actor, and two; of all the days for that to be made public here, today is not the day.”
“Why not?”
“You have no idea who’s here, do you?” he shook his head. “Your favourite pop princess.”
Luke’s face fell, his pallor changing. “What?”
“People were wondering why she was in London; she is here to shoot her new video, in this studio, today, and guess who the song is about?”
“I am going to kill him. I warned him.”
“I know, but there is nothing we can do about it.” She soothed.
“How bad is it?”
“He manipulated and used her, and I made him cheat on her with me.” She explained.
“Fuck,” he shook his head.
“You need to go,” Danielle stated. Luke looked at her almost indignantly. “If she sees you here, she will make a big deal of this, you are Tom’s publicist so she will know we’re together. She already knows I’m working here. That’s already too much.”
“Well, if you knew she was going to be here, why did you take this job, are you actively looking for trouble?” he growled.
“I was told, under no uncertain terms, that should I leave set today, after my actual job, I would be blacklisted. She demanded me specifically.” She informed him. “How she even knew I was working here, or indeed that I changed careers, I don’t know.”
Luke’s brows furrowed. “She wouldn’t have known?”
“They were broken up when I moved into it, and Tom didn’t find out until a month ago. There’s no way she should know.”
“Unless she has been keeping tabs on you.” Danielle cocked her head slightly, “Why come to London to shoot a video, the company she is using,” he looked at the emblem on the side of a soundboard case. “That’s an American company, she flew it all here.”
“She wouldn’t have done it specifically for me.” Danielle dismissed.
“Wouldn’t she?” Luke challenged. “I went snooping on PR Barbie when she and Tom were linked. I cannot believe these words are coming out of my mouth, but I agree with Kim Kardashian, she is a snake.”
“Hey, we don’t even know that woman, don’t judge her.”
“She got famous for nothing.”
“Actually, she got famous for something; something I don’t think many people would be willing to do, but to say she maintained fame shows she is not an absolute airhead, she’s worth more than you and I are.”
“You don’t strike me as a trash television fan.” Luke eyed her up and down.
“Never saw her show, not overly bothered by her existence, I just don’t know her, and as a fellow woman, I commend her for doing well with her life.” She shrugged.
Luke was about to say something else to her, but his eyes flickered over her shoulder and his jaw clenched. He made a slight movement of his eyes to Danielle to inform her who was coming towards them.
Taking a deep breath, Danielle composed herself and turned around. “Is there anything more you need Ms Swift?” she asked, though keeping the words polite was difficult.
“So you were only after him in the end, that’s a surprise.” She snarked, looking between the pair. “I was right all along.”
“I do not know what you are talking about.” Danielle feigned ignorance. “Mr Windsor and I are merely discussing his client and a future lunch between themselves and myself.”
“He seems to have only one client, and he follows him everywhere like a faithful puppy.”
Luke’s brows rose at Taylor’s comments. Danielle only laughed. “It wouldn’t be a successful PR firm if he had only one client. He has others, one of whom I happen to be a huge fan of, and whom I am working with at present, so with her being on this set, but having to leave early today to facilitate you, and him stuck in a meeting dealing with the premieres for this movie, he is merely relaying her message to me while here.”
Luke stared at Danielle, impressed with how she had concocted a story from thin air and had stated it with such conviction, he had to remind himself for a moment with was fabricated.
Taylor glared at her, “So you expect me to believe you aren’t sniffing around my scraps?”
“I couldn’t give a rat’s ass what you believe or not, it is no concern of mine. My only concern here was that nothing happens anyone on set when shooting, I have done my job, so I am getting ready to go home for the evening, perhaps get some room service, and see what’s on TV.”
“God, you’re boring.”
“Perhaps to you, but I’m happy, and that’s all that I am concerned with.” Danielle smiled, seeing the head of the studio coming, she decided to finish the conversation, even if Taylor didn’t want to. “Have a safe flight to your next destination Ms Swift, and thank you so much for asking for me today.”
Taylor’s nostrils flared at her manner. “What?”
“Well, I thought you would like to know that the money you’ve paid me for this shoot means I can take a month’s break after these few reshoots and spend it with those I love and get a new car, so thank you.” She beamed as the singer stared at her blankly. “You’ve paid for my Christmas and car.” She almost burst out laughing, loving how Taylor seemed to only then realise it was entirely true. “Thank you and safe journeys.” With that, she gave a wave goodbye to her superiors and walked off.
“You lie with too much ease,” Luke commented, having followed her out of earshot.
“I am dating an actor, I work with actors, all I see day and night are lies, people pretending to be people they’re not, people pretending to believe everything they say, you pick it up easy enough.” She commented, going for the exit.
When they came to Luke’s car, he stopped, looking at her for a moment. “I didn’t think I would be saying this, but you may actually be able to survive the gauntlet that being with Tom requires.”
“I hope so, but I’m not always sure. I am so scared of when we are found out.”
“Don’t you want to be with him?” Luke asked, confused.
“Yes, God yes. But it’s not really him and me in this relationship, though, is it? It’s us and every fangirl, gossip rag, and ex-pop girlfriend’s, that’s the worry.”
“If he wasn’t famous, would this be a concern to you? Would you be so sceptical?”
“If Tom worked as, I dunno, what would Tom be if he wasn’t an actor? I suppose something in literature, isn’t that what everyone thinks; then I would actually be happier, and probably not have spent five years of trying to convince myself I wasn’t completely in love with his dorky nutty ass.” She laughed.
“But he is an actor,” Luke commented.
“Yes, and a brilliant one.” Danielle concurred. “But it means we are not allowed be normal, are we? I mean, even you have an internet following, just because of him being him. I am just trying to get used to it Luke, I am doing everything I can to. I love him, I love everything from the fact he seems morbidly afraid of learning how to work a washing machine to the fact that his greatest brag in life is he can cook a breakfast, to even that weird attempt he does at dancing.”
“That fucking dancing.” Luke shook his head, causing Danielle to laugh. “What about the fact he is being seen as getting older now, getting…well, thinner haired.”
“If he heard you.” She scolded. “I guess he is going to get a few more ‘Dad’ roles in the near future, and yes, his hairline is receding a little, but if he turns out as bald as a coot, why would I care, he would still be the same dork that tripped over his own gangly limbs the first day I met him, the same guy that seemed to think it appropriate to make a sex noise because I made his tea right on the first go in my new kitchen, and the same guy who acted as though I gave him the moon when I got him a joke present of Baloo in the Disney store.”
“You really do love him, Tom the person, not the actor.”
“I met Thomas first, Tom came along after, and to be honest, being in the spotlight caused him to become colder, more clammed up in public, which startled me really, but when he is away from that, when he is behind closed doors, he is still the same happy sweet guy, thankfully. I was so scared she had destroyed that, it scared me so much; I wanted to save that part of him. When I fought with him during that relationship, I would have had it that he hate me for eternity than him risking becoming a cold person.” She explained. “Have a good evening Mr Windsor, and I’m truly sorry for any trouble today may cause for you.” She opened her car door and got in, leaving Luke slightly flabbergasted for a moment, before getting into his own car, mulling over her words, knowing that of any attempt Tom had at a relationship in the time they were working together, Danielle was there for the right reasons, and he found himself hoping she would be the one to stick.
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hollenka99 · 4 years
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Winston and Oliver
Winston and Oliver have two pretty different upbringings. Winston is brought up by his mother and stepfather in Saint John, New Brunswick, not very well off financially. Meanwhile, Oliver grows up as the son of a successful actor in Los Angeles. It just happened that their fathers had once been best friends, leading to them being childhood friends too. Whenever Oliver's family visited his father's relatives in Canada, Oliver would try meet up with Winston. So, with the help of letters, they remain good buddies.
Still, they start growing up and all their school peers begin developing non-platonic feelings towards each other. Anthony would talk about girls he thought about asking out. Oliver... couldn't relate. Perhaps he wasn't quite old enough. Let's wait a couple years. Still nothing. Okay, God, he's ready to be into girls already. Any time now. Seriously, don't wait up.
Winston is attracted to girls, even has a girlfriend or two during the early 1930s. Yet he feels similarly towards men too. Hmm odd. He guesses it's possible to be interested in both men and women. Who knew?
They were both raised Catholic. However, Winston doesn't suffer internalised homophobia as badly as Oliver does. Over the course of their life, Winston helps him grow more confident with his identity.
Oliver visits his aunt in Saint John during the summer of 1934, preparing to move to New York for college after the holidays. While there, he comes out to Winston. He needs someone to know and he rationalises it in his mind that if Winston doesn't react positively, they can always go their separate ways and leave their friendship behind as a childhood thing. He doesn't want to lose Winston as friend though. Oliver knows he won't rat him out to the authorities either way. So you can imagine the overwhelming relief he feels when Winston smiles and admits he's gay too.
While at Julliard, Oliver befriends a girl name Mary. She falls in love with him and he doesn't have the guts to tell her he'll never feel the same. He loves her but only platonically. Still, he enjoys her company. And well... he's going to have to marry a girl one way or another. He'd rather it be Mary.
Everything about being her boyfriend feels wrong. He's deceiving her. And he's now planing to make that deception lifelong. He really shouldn't be doing this to her. And yet he does, for the sake of selfishly saving his own skin.
Sophia has always suspected her brother was attracted to men. She privately calls him out after he announces he's engaged. Oh and what do you know, she's attracted to 'all sorts of individuals'. Great, that would have been good to know as he came of age. Nevermind. He knows now.
Around the same time, Sophia and Winston start a relationship. After all, Oliver isn't the only Jackson sibling to enjoy hanging out with Winston when they were growing up. They're happy together and Oliver is happy for them. He trusts Winston to treat her well.
Oliver marries Mary in 1940, with Winston becoming his brother-in-law the year after. Things are going well. The two men meet up every now and again. Mary just thinks her husband is spending time with an old friend. Sophia knows what's really going on and doesn't care too much, so long as Winston doesn't see anyone else behind her back.
When Oliver gets the news that two of his brothers have died, it changes how he wants to go about life. They had been 24 and 22. Oliver himself is still 28 by that point. He has some 50 or so years left, assuming he is going to die old. Does he really want to live a lie forever, just so everyone will approve of him? 50 years is a hell of a long time.
Mary unintentionally discovers the truth in 1951. She makes him pack his bags immediately. They divorce on the grounds of adultery. Fearing he'd 'corrupt' their two children (age ~9 and 5), she ensures he sees as little of them as possible.
Unsure of where to really go, he ends up at Sophia and Winston's doorstep. His reputation has been heavily damaged, his career as a composer with it. It feels as if the only things he has left are his sister and his best-friend-turned-lover.
Sophia understands the position she's in. Her husband prefers her brother's company. So she lets them go. She wants them both to be happy. Her only condition is that Winston remains an active part of their children's lives.
This new way of life works quite well for them. Winston moves to New York to live with Oliver. The three Wynton children grow up with their dad living with their uncle every other week being normalised. Their mom bringing 'friends' home every now and again isn't that out there either.
Life carries on, as it tends to do. More nieces and nephews come from Anthony, Harriet and Nora. Oliver definitely feels at home in Winston's company. Winston feels the same.
Still, the two of them have to remain secretive and anxious that they'll be discovered. I can't seem to find what the penalty in the state of New York was for sodomy. Whatever it was, they wanted to avoid it. Being disgraced as an unfaithful husband is one thing. Being in a same-sex relationship during the 50s is something else entirely.
In 1962, Illinois repeals its sodomy laws, essentially decriminalising homosexual relationships. 10 years later, Winston asks Oliver if he wants to move there. All of their children are adults themselves now. Come on, they could be free to be two men in love. Oliver is skeptical. He has built a life here in New York but... not hiding does sound nice. Okay then, let's try life in Illinois.
So they move to Chicago. They take some time to settle in, meeting other local members of the queer community while doing so. They're still not displaying their relationship in public. Decades of being cautious will do that. But then they're eating out with some friends and a couple hold hands. Very publically. And they're not getting any backlash for it. No-one's coming to their table to try get those two arrested.
Winston and Oliver risk holding hands where other people can clearly see them. No major consequences. A while later, they increase the risk by kissing while in public. Again, no legal repercussions.
Oh. Oh shit. They really can be out in public here. They get dirty looks sometimes. But it's not like those people could have them thrown in jail. They're in their late 50s now and finally, finally they can be visibly homosexual.
In 1975, they celebrate their respective 60th birthdays. Their first major birthdays as their true selves. They still can't believe it.
The two of them decide they want to help the younger generation. The queer kids who were coming of age in a time of more freedom. They both grew up in fear of being discovered. These kids need to know the community has their back. Laws changing doesn't immediately change attitudes, after all.
A music store is set up. If someone came saying their friend, Dorothy, sent them, they'd be sent to the back room. Word spread and more arrived claiming 'Dorothy' sent them.
Over the next few years, they watch these teenagers and young adults grow up. Some go to college or move away. Others keep hanging around where they know they'll be accepted.
Then one of the kids they'd said goodbye to returns. Oh wow, it's great to see you. How are things? You and Joshua still going strong? Wait, what do you mean he suddenly became very ill and died? Oh, that's- that's awful. He was such a good guy. We're so sorry. Give our condolences to his friends and family, if you're able.
It's not the last time they have members of their youth club become affected by this strange new disease. Not by a long shot. As the years carry on, they'll have one person coming to them saying their friend was diagnosed. Then they'll have another privately revealing they contracted the disease themselves a while later. Quite a few simply stress about the prospect of potentially getting infected.
Listen, they're just two gay men who are fast approaching their 70s. What the hell are they meant to do to protect these members who were practically children from something this overwhelming?
This disease obviously gets a name. When they hear about the New York Times referred to it as Gay-related immune deficiency or GRID, this ruffles more than a few feathers. Paired with other terms such as 'gay cancer' and 'gay plague', they are livid that the media has decided to target their marginalised group further.
This won't do. The two of them were born in the middle of a huge war where millions of young men died. Winston's father and Oliver's uncle were two of them. Oliver lost two of his brothers to the sequel of that war where even more people died in the millions. Too many young men and women have been needlessly lost this century. Even more are being lost right now but that's obviously not important because of who those people are.
People are dying. Some of them are only in their 20s or 30s. Stop using this as a chance to demonise a community that's already suffered enough, you bastards.
As soon as they learn it is spread through intercourse and infected blood, they promote protection. Boys, here's a condom. Girls, if any of you are planning to become involved with a guy, take one too. Don't expect him to necessarily carry one on him, though he should. And if any of you kids are doing drugs, please stop. You shouldn't be interacting with drugs in the first place but there's no better time to go cold turkey than right now. It would break our hearts to hear you got sick. Please stay safe out there, okay?
The 80s eventually turn into the 90s. While the members of their youth group may have seen them as gay uncle types back in the 70s, they're definitely more gay grandpas now. They keep going, maintaining the store and supporting younger members of the queer community in Chicago.
Oliver dies in 1999, with Winston joining him three years later. They are 83 and 86 respectively. But you know what? They've had a great go of it. Whether it was as childhood friends, brothers-in-law who maintained a secret relationship or long-term partners, they've been at each other's side. They count themselves lucky to have found someone so dear to them and been able to spend their life with them.
They wouldn't have wanted to do it with anyone else.
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