the more i work out the more i have brainrot of being a match in physical strength with my dom; my legs have always been muscular, my shoulders broad, my arms big when i consistently work them. starting T will only enhance the strength i already possess, and i want it to show. i keep thinking about being stocky and overly-confident about it, taunting my dom with, i don’t know, wrestling competitions or something—just to prove i can beat them. the idea that they have to work to subdue me, or get me so deep in subspace that i want to fully submit… man. i want to watch them get pissed off the more i fight, the harder i resist, because of course i have to make shit difficult; i can’t help but be a brat, solely because i love seeing their reactions. having them manhandle me once they tire me out, moving me into whatever position they want me in, pressing on bruises from past scuffles just because they can, because they like to see me squirm. mocking me for being so easy, scolding me for thinking i could win, praising me for trying so hard. having to restrain me cuz i’ll just start it all over again if i get the chance, just to get them angrier, and being threatened with something worse than rope or handcuffs if i keep it up; they aren’t above beating me into submission, if they need to—they clearly had no problem with shoving me around, so why wouldn’t they hit me? especially if it means reducing their big strong boy into a stupid, pathetic, whimpering mutt.
brainrot, i tell you. woof.
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Genuine thought as a fellow trans dude, I’ve seen a lot of (obviously non-serious) questions on other blogs about characters’ genitals such as “how does it look like?” and similar, and I think we all know & understand that such questions are extremely inappropriate to ask and (I hope) no one would actually go around asking these questions irl. Idk, I think we should treat trans characters just like cis ones, without any special “precautions”, so to normalise them and not make cis people treat them like fragile boxes, a thing which happens to a lot of us irl. Hope this doesn’t come off as an attack or anything lol.
no worries, i didn't take this as an attack at all. i actually agree with you, that's why i mentioned feeling conflicted about it and also mentioned that i've changed my stance on how i felt about handling Noel and Clementine in game and in explicit intimate scenes.
however, for me the problem comes from the fact that people... don't ask these kinds of questions about cis characters? i suppose people do get cheeky "who is the biggest 🤪" asks but i would hardly compare the two. to be a bit crude, no one is going to be asking if a cis character has a dick or not, or "what does it look like". of course it's natural for people to be curious, and i honestly encourage the open discussion and am happy to see trans bodies being talked about more in a positive way, but not everyone is going to be comfortable with it due to the inescapable transphobia online and in the community. sending me that kind of ask is like sending out an invitation for a debate or a discussion that i don't necessarily want to have. i also just don't think people should default to asking a random IF author on tumblr dot com to describe what bottom growth looks like.
and with most of these asks typically coming from someone who is anonymous, i have no way of truly knowing what the tone is, what their intentions are or why this is being asked - is it another trans person? or maybe someone who is just genuinely curious? or, more likely in my experience, is it someone who is going to immediately follow up this message with something transphobic after i answer? do i want to roll the dice and find out?
so while i agree with what you're saying, it's important to consider the context and the reality we live in. the IF community is not kind to trans people or trans characters. and as a trans person, my first priority is protecting myself and my mental health. so what i mean when i say "precautions," is that those precautions are for me, because i've had to deal with transphobic harassment here for years now, and i try to mitigate it as much as i can. it's also for my personal comfort - again, to be blunt, i'm simply just not comfortable discussing a trans character's genitals with anonymous strangers on the internet. it makes me feel vulnerable.
also i do want to say i didn't mean for any of that to come across as a dig at other authors - if you're comfortable answering those kinds of questions, that's really only something you can decide for yourself. like i said, this is just coming from my own experiences in IF and for my own personal comfort - i have previously talked a lot about trans stuff and gender and sexuality here, when i'm feeling up to it, but it is something that is very draining for me and can also be very upsetting.
basically: i do agree that it's important not to other trans characters or treat them any differently than cis characters, but i also think there are ways to do it that don't require me answering invasive questions or questions that i don't feel comfortable with as a real life trans person, you know what i mean?
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Finally saw the new spiderman and after all the craze that's been going on online abt it i expected smth spectacular, but MAN did i go even BEYOND my expectations how can a film be this RAD
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Logically I know transphobes are dumb and illogical. But.
It's still hard to push their voices out of my head.
If a trans masc has sex with cis men, they're """basically straight women""", and if we have sex with cis women or other trans mascs we are """pussy4pussy""" like we are women copting the trans experience or something.
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