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keijiqahara · 10 months

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☆

KAISER was the world’s, never really yours. You get reminded time and time again whenever he leaves you alone at home for games far from home and when he gives the same smiles to you as he does his fans. And yet. And yet. Your heart still aches the same even as the years go by, still yearns for his love to be yours, and yours only. They said that hope prevailed wherever love was present, but you weren’t sure if what you ever had with him was love or simply the ghost of an affection you once both had for each other. He said he was yours, so why were you looking at him blowing kisses to his fans through the screen of your tv instead of having your lips against his in that moment? He said he was yours, so why were you clenching his jersey in your hands on your shared bed while he was out partying instead of him embracing you in his warm arms? He said he was yours, and yet he found it so easy to leave you be. You said you were his, but why does your heart sink whenever you see him? You knew the answers to these questions, that this relationship was long overdue, but gosh, it was so hard to let go.

There were times when you thought you knew him as Micha, your beloved boyfriend and not Kaiser, German prodigy of the football world. It was those rare days when he was finally home, and you had your arms wrapped around his waist, his back facing you. You had thought, "But no one else could have him in their arms just like i have now, so he must really be mine." But you knew better. You've kept it up well, painted the illusion you wanted to see, for years deceiving your heart. However, the facade had grown evanescent now. Sure, he was physically close to you right then, but what you really knew was that while you were drowning in the depths of the sea, he was at the surface bound by a glorious ship. Silently hoping for that man to dive in and save your shattered soul, while knowing it would never come.

#i really hate myself #projecting on the fact that ive been REPEATEDLY failing to get my hands on his official merch #BECAUSE THIS MAN IS TOO DAMNED POPULAR FOR HIS OWN GOOD 🤬🤬🤬🤬#anyways first ever real fic so enjoy pls love me more to come REAL #kaiser x reader #michael kaiser #bllk kaiser #michael kaiser x reader #michael kaiser x you #kaiser x you #blue lock x reader #michael kaiser (derogatory)#kaiser angst

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kazutora-kurokawa · 3 days

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now, cheater!reader x baji? I need his reaction omg

Baji x Cheater!Reader

♡ SFW, cheating obviously, angst no comfort, break up, crying ♡

note: just some quick headcanons cus you're breaking my heart anon 🥲

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🔥 Baji would absolutely lose his goddamn mind because why the hell would you cheat on him?

🔥 He's done nothing but love and support you and he feels extremely betrayed and taken advantage of

🔥 His world is crumbling in his hands because he really thought you were his soulmate, his one and only

🔥 It takes all his willpower to not forgive you or just scoop you up in his arms and hold you close

🔥 He surrounds himself with the rest of the Toman captains, occasionally getting their advice (and getting talked out of contacting you)

🔥 He portrays himself as strong and nonchalant on the outside but he cries by himself when he gets home

🔥 He spends every night scrolling through photos of you two together, thinking about what a future with you could've been like

❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀

Taglist

@arlerts-angel @i-literally-cant-with-this @trevengersprincess @giugiette @katkusuo @happy-trenchcoated-impala @drunkcheesecake @darkstarlight82 @reiners-milkbiddies @manji-hoe

#tokyo revengers x reader #baji x reader #baji angst #tokyo revengers angst #the baji angst is real 🥲#I think I have another baji request after this lmao 😭 damn y'all love this man (I do too tho 🤭)

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sab-ri-na · 2 months

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AAAAAHHH

MARS ANGST MARS ANGST MARS ANGST MARS ANGST HEURHUEHEUEHEHHEUEBEHEHEHRHEHHEHEHEHEHEBEHEVEHEHEBE BEBE EBEBEJEJEJRBJEHEJEHEEEE HES SO BABY

ok he defo has someone comforitng him on a daily basis like his BOYFRIEND VENUS 😴🙏🙏 imagine we get an episode about yhis though I’D LOSE MY FUCKING MARBLES GGRBAGABEHEJSHAJHDJDHFJ

phobos & deimos pls forgive your emo dad 🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀

#solarballs #solarballs mars #mars #MOON DRAMA REAL??!2?!1?/#damn bruh another depressed planet this is too much angst for me to handle pLEASW

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transingthoseformers · 2 months

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Given how Megatronus was misappropriated in RID15, I'm just hoping that Megatronus isn't protrayed as EVUL BADMAN GOD OF TEH DECEPTICONS again in Earthspark. We've seen the 13, or at least an interpretation of them and Megatronus wasn't drawn as looking (designwise) in some kind of evil fashion (ie spikes of doom, etc) in fact he kind of looks like a hybrid of Megatron and Optimus Prime, at least in the image shown in "Disarmed".

Also I don't know why, but Liege Maximo, or what I assume to be Liege Maximo in the lineup kind of makes me wonder if Liege in this continuity is female or maybe non-binary. ES Liege also has a hair bun, which I find both funny and neat.

Considering everything i know of earthspark i doubt that Megatronus Prime's depiction will be as strict as Ancient Evil Mc Evilman (no, that feels like a role for a more g1 esque Unicron which i admit I'm hoping for at som eff point), in fact i have a feeling none of the thirteen are going to be outright evil. Even if the theories suggesting there's more to Quintus than his benevolent actions so far, i don't think he's going to be a fully evil character.

Do i still feel like whatever depiction he gets will be filled with angst? Yes, that's based on how i interpreted his Aligned tfwiki entry though. It would be cool if he was a temporary antagonist who becomes/became an ally eventually (I'm having ideas regarding how the thirteen beat back unicron in Aligned, how Megatronus is the most connected with Unicron, the g1 heralds of unicron, and the roving planet eater model of unicron) but that's highly speculative on my part

Also oooo on femme or nonbinary Maximo?

#my pov anyway #maccadam #transformers #the thirteen primes #quintus prime #megatronus prime #liege maximo #it would be SO DAMN INTERESTING if we get a whole episode designated on further explaining the thirteen #extra points if megatronus appears again later on in a different more realistic light #KINDA LIKE THE COMICS V IN UNIVERSE REAL LIFE_ how the stories can vary from reality #I'm thinking so hard about the tragedy of solus and megatronus's role in it #there's angst there there's angst to be had #unicron

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unclewaynemunson · 8 months

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Until you face the rope

When Eddie opens his eyes, his body is hurting everywhere. He bites back a groan and immediately closes his eyes again, hoping to make the pain go away as if all of it was merely a nightmare. But he can't keep the memories out just by closing his eyes: that trick didn't work when he was a little boy afraid of his own parents, and it doesn't work now.

The images of everything that happened wash over him in rapid succession: Chrissy's bones snapping against the ceiling of his living room, Patrick's lifeless body splashing into Lovers Lake, a stormy sky filled with bats. Dustin's tears dripping onto his face while he breathed what he thought was his dying breath.

He doesn't know what happened after. He doesn't know where he is. He doesn't even know how the fuck it's possible that he's still alive.

With another stifled groan, he manages to open his eyes again and he lifts his head enough to look around.

It looks like he's in a hospital room, but at the same time it doesn't: white walls, sterile scent; a window with bars in front of it and a big steel door. The room is small and empty except for a desk, a chair and the bed Eddie is lying on.

He turns his head downwards to inspect his own body, and that is when he realizes where he must be: he's wearing an orange jumpsuit.

Continue reading on ao3 (1st part is 1.8k words; 2 more parts to go!)

#don't mind me rambling about stranger things #yep ya girl caved and started writing angst #lemme tell you i've been intrigued by this very real post-s4 possibility forever #and i've always been surprised it's not explored more often in fics #but honestly i get it now bc damn this ain't easy to write #i know jackshit about lawsuits and trials and day to day prison life lmao #just gonna bluff my way through this i guess #eddie munson #wayne munson #stranger things #fanfic #ao3 #fruity ficlet

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ingo-ingoing-ingone · 2 years

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And finally, at long last! Presenting the cover to the fic series Outbound and Inbound, drawn by the absolutely wonderful @/Overseer_Vee on twitter! Alanide has been a friend for a long time and it was an absolute dream having her draw this for me <3

#submas angst #pla era #submas #emmet #ingo #subway boss ingo #subway boss emmet #for me #posted with permission of course #all these commissions were posted with permission!#BUT YEAH LOOK AT WHAT VEE DREW ME #vee is like. one of my favorite artists ever ngl #she's drawn like all my major ocs and stuff lol i love commissioning her with my entire heart #she did a stunning job with this FOR REAL like holy shit #i am sorry i was so specific in my vision lol but DAMN #WOW

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dragonanon · 7 months

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Me upon finishing the Teal Mask DLC: “Damn, Gamefreak really had us help a child start their anime villain arc.”

#shitpost #pokémon #pokemon scarlet and violet #scvi teal mask #pokemon teal mask #like goddamn #see we know his anime villain arc is beginning because his eyes went crazy and he’s changed his hairstyle #that’s how you know crap is about to get serious #all jokes aside though damn #i didn’t expect this DLC to hit me with a small child’s descent into madness #also his sister is just a bitch #doesn’t matter she started being a little nicer toward the end she’s a bitch #like she can see that her little brother is CLEARLY suffering and in a bad place mentally and her response is ‘oof the teen angst is real’#girl a kid dropping to his knees and then running away crying and refusing to come out of his room is NOT teen angst #i hope he beats her ass #kieran deserved better #and honestly fuck carmine tbh

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iron-cutting-meteor-sword · 2 years

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you know, I miss when the gang would try to kill each other and it wasn’t played as like a super sad angsty thing but instead was like looney tunes violence where they’re trying to kill each other for being mildly annoying or for some silly plot reason and just constantly one-upping each other in hilarious ways. Shit where neither of these guys are trying to kill each other w guns or swords or anything like that but instead choosing the funniest most contrived methods possible to try and get the other

#lupin iii #samurai sharkie speaks #missing those part 1 interactions where these guys would be buddies one episode and then just happily try and kill each other for no reason #violence like when Lupin stole those scrolls and taunted Goemon but Goemon had switched out the real scrolls and gave Lupin fuckin dynamite #Fujiko just causally trying to kill Lupin as if she won’t team up w him whenever it suits her #Jigen just being on board w duels to the death and genuinely just going for it #Zenigata just showing up with a stupid contrived fucking machine made to blow Lupin to kingdom come #Goemon trying to kill everyone simply bc they don’t pass his vibe check #they’re all awful people but it doesn’t have to be played for angst when they’re all so damn funny abt it #to be clear I’m not against angst but ppl seem to think that’s the only way to portray it

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arolesbianism · 11 days

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Thinks oh so hard abt the spiraling upwards clan founders, especially the birchclan founders. Silly lil kitties who's pasts are drenched in blood with the primary regret of not drawing it sooner

#rat rambles #oc posting #warriors posting #spiraling upwards #long story short they had a shitty awful terrible leader who sucked absolutely ass and they tore him to shreds #I mean that literally they pinned him onto the mountain side and slashed and mauled the shit out of him so hard that his lives evaporated #and several of the cats involved in that scene are sill alive and major parts of the story and I love them #oh also the cat that pinned him through a stab through the throat was his own daughter btw everyone hated his ass so much #and for good reason get his ass #alas in the main story I dont rly get to go too deep into how he harmed everyone involved mostly just three main ones #aka bristlestar because shes murtlepaw's ghost mom dawncrackle because hes also haunting murtle and gullspot because shes bristle's kit #so basically all the flashbacks we get involve those three in some form or another #honeystar was also there and involved but Im not currently planning on having her rly talk abt that #most of her more modern angst is the fact that she was forced into leadership against her will #and shes been alive long enough that shes been leading birchclan far longer than she ever lived in her old clan #but she did go through a lot of shit before birchclan was founded and it definitely shaped her a lot #she used to be a very determined and high spirited lil kitty cat who tried to be optimistic #but her family began to slowly be picked off one by one by both the old leader and the one whod later get evicerated #some of the older cats around her hoped it make her back down from her revelutionary ideas but she noticed that and it backfired on them #instead of being worn down to submission she became absolutely Furious and began to lash out more and become more demanding #it got to the point that she really only had two friends in the entire clan and one of them was her aunt whod later also die after coming #out abt having witnessed the leader killing his own kits #that was the final fucking straw for her and she was fully on board when bristle and dawn started looking for cats to join their rebellion #she did get rly frustrated with them as they waited patiently for the right moment but her remaining bestie kept her from going apeshit #so once the big fight finally broke out she was more than eager to join the hoard of cats chasing the bastard upwards #now unlike some of the other cats involved this legitimately actually made her feel a lot better for a while #for the first time in ages she finally felt like she could be optimistic abt smth again and was excited abt the idea of leaving this place #she had lost so much in this damn place since she was an apprentice and just wanted to finally be able to rest easy #but once they got to their new territory and set up camp things went south real fast as a flood fucked everything up #and after losing the only cat she had left in her life and losing her tail and being made deputy on top of that she deteriorated quickly

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fanfictionroxs · 2 years

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Tankhun helping Kim (and later on Chay) do voice exercises before a show. Khun really gives off Sharpay energy except that he is much nicer 😂

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batstorm93672 · 1 year

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Let It Be Over Already

Word of warning other than just tagging it.

This story contains heavy amount of depression, ptsd, panic attack and attempting suicide is explicitly stated. If this triggers you, then I beg that you do not read it for your mental wellbeing is worth more than a story.

It's been months since anyone has seen Damian Wayne. No one knows where he has gone, the last person he visited was Dick and Kory. Titus was left with the two adults as well. Titus had been less excited about things without Damian.

Alfred's death took a hard toll on Damian's life. He often did disappear from his siblings for awhile, but never this long and without Titus as well...

Siblings Group Chat

Dick: Has anyone received any news on Damian or Robin sightings?

Jason: No. I haven't heard or seen a thing on him

Stephanie: Where could he have gone?

Tim: It's like he disappeared

Barbara: I've been trying to trace his phone, nothing

Dick: What worries me is that he also didn't take Titus... then that night he was with me when I found him in the guest room. He tore it up, pillows were literally ripped apart and everything was a mess. Then I found these drawings

[Three pictures of Alfred sitting on a chair tied up as Robin, Bane or merely a shadow is behind him. Alfred's neck is snapped and he's clearly dead]

Cassandra: :(

Tim: Holy shit

Stephanie: I feel like I might be sick

Dick: He was sobbing horribly... then he spoke of how he just wants to give up at times. His mental health is dropping and the fact that he's missing is worse

Jason clicked off his phone, walking down the streets of Gotham, the sun was still shining down. "...where are you kid?"

By the time night rolled around, Jason made it to his apartment and took off his hoodie. The window... was slightly ajar. He locked it last he left, maybe he left it open a bit? Or... a hopeful twinge of a possibility that the one person who would enter through there and probably insult him for how easy it was to unlock it.

"Damian? Are you here?"

It was silent.

Jason sighed and lied on his bed "No... no you aren't"

"No..!"

He had struggled in vain, crying as his grandfather's neck snapped. Failing to save him. Failing to be good enough.

Failing to save a man he loved with all his heart.

Damian leaped up from the small makeshift bed. Looking around for his Great Dane to help, only to be met with the darkness. That's right... he left Titus with Richard and Kory. He can't let his canine see what he's done to himself, what he's been having weighed on his mind. Sometimes he really does want it to be over. Knowing that he can't do it anymore... it hurts so bad, but he can't really bring himself to have this dealt with. A coward. He wouldn't even be here, had he just stay put and not endanger Pennyworth then everything would be okay! Then he would be back and everything would be perfect! But it's not... and it won't be for a long time.

Damian got up off the floor this safehouse was completely abandoned. He had to make due with old blankets. Damian grabbed his uniform and put it on...

Robin swung until he overlooked the city, the sky was dark. Landing at the very top to see it all, it could end here and it would be okay... he'd go back to Hell, but he deserves it doesn't he. To go back to where he belongs, back where his sins torment every waking moment he lingers.

The very top of the building, falling would be a horrible plummet down to meet the ground. It doesn't seem so bad... does it?

Why is his heart racing like this?

Why is he scared?

Why can't he move forward?

Pennyworth is gone.

There's nothing else here, no one else.

Just go!

Go!

GO!

JUST GO AND GET IT OVER WITH IT WILL ALL BE OVER IF YOU DO IT! THE PAIN! THE SUFFERING WILL END!

IT WILL END!

FINALLY IT WILL BE OVER!

LET IT BE OVER!

END THIS!

HE'S GONE AND IT'S YOUR FAULT!

YOU FAILURE!

GO!

DO WHAT MUST BE DONE!

"NO!"

Robin moved away from the edge, panicking as he covered his mouth. "No no no no no I'm scared I can't do it! I can't! Why am I so scared..? What is wrong with me?!" Robin's hands shook as he grabbed his phone. Clicking onto a contact he could barely see through his tears. Putting it up to his ear when he heard ringing.

"Holy shit, Damian is that you!? Where have you been, we've been looking all over for you!"

"A-a-a-- a-akhi... akhi... I can't do it, I'm scared..!"

"Damian, slow down. Tell me where you are"

"G-Grand... Grand Avenue Station at the top..."

"Hang tight. Do you want me to st--"

Robin hung up, it was already bad that he called. Now he had to be rescued like a child in distress, he can't do this.

"Stop it stop it stop it, let it end already. Let me go! Let it be over already! Please let it be over! I-I can't do this... I don't want to be alone, but I don't want to be with anyone either. I want it to be over, let it be over for once"

"Damian"

Robin looked up, Red Hood stood above him only his mask was on and he was sweating. "Damian! Hey, hey, hey. It's me, it's okay. What happened, you can tell me" "I-I want it to be over... but I don't want to die, I just want it to be done for once" "What do you mean? What did you try to do?"

"I wanted to go... I wanted to go I thought it would be over if I just go. I tried, but I'm a coward I can't even take my life. I can't do it. It's my fault, I want the suffering to end I'm scared. I'm so scared"

Red Hood looked absolutely destroyed, he didn't say a word and honestly he couldn't bring himself to speak. Damian's mental state was dropping, but to think so quickly he would turn to... to... fuck.

Red Hood hugged him tight, Robin sobbed making no attempt to move or hug Hood back.

"I'm scared, I want it to be over! Please let it be over... let it be over already. Let this not be real I can't do this without him. I miss my grandfather, I miss Alfred. I want to die, I want to die already. Don't bring me back from the dead, don't let me stay dead. Don't stay, don't go" Robin was rambling random things, most of his words contradicted the other.

"Ssshhhhh easy now. I'm here. I'm here for you. Let's go"

Jason: I found him

Dick: Where?

Tim: Is he okay?

Jason: Shit this is gonna be hard to say and even worse to hear

Stephanie: Just say it

Cassandra: ?

Duke: Is he at least safe?

Jason: He tried to kill himself. He called me saying that he can't do it and that he's scared. Then I found him on Grand Avenue Station

Barbara: Oh my god

Duke: Did you stop him?

Jason: Yeah, he seemed to be in shock and stopped himself

Tim: Where are you?

Jason: Home, I brought him with me, he's sleeping rn

Cassandra: Dick?

Duke: Hey man you okay? You haven't texted

Jason: Dick he's okay now, I got him

Stephanie: We can go visit him

Barbara: Dick please say something?

Dick was wheezing with every breath, he dropped his phone and couldn't keep himself from trembling.

Damian almost...

Oh God!

Why?!

Why didn't I stop him from leaving?!

Should I have forced him to stay with us?

Why didn't I see this before?

"Dick, you must remain calm. Tell me what is happening my love"

"K-Kory?"

"Yes. It's me"

"Damian, he tried to kill himself. Jason found him"

"Okay, okay. Look at me, focus on what you just said after. Jason found Damian, Damian is okay, Damian is safe. Can you repeat those three things?"

"Jason found Damian, Damian is okay, Damian is safe"

"Yes, say it as many times as you must"

"Jason found Damian, Damian is okay, Damian is safe. Jason found Damian, Damian is okay, Damian is safe. Jason found Damian, Damian is okay, Damian is safe"

Dick's breathing lessened in volume, he closed his eyes then opened them to look at Kory. "Yeah... I get it, thank you Kor. I just started to drive myself crazy there, thinking on what I could've done better to protect him. But it's not just me. Damian has more than one person by his side"

"Exactly, so let's go to sleep. Tomorrow you can go see him and bring Titus along"

It was silent when Damian woke up, he could feel where the tears once were. He had messed up.

Did he mess up by calling Jason? Or did he mess up by not doing what he told himself to do? Damian doesn't know which part he messed up.

Regardless, Damian looked around, Jason was still sleeping by him. Damian hated himself, Jason wouldn't be taking care of him had he just fell off. No one would be worried if he just did that.

Coward, can't even do a single thing.

You've taken many lives, what's stopping you from taking your own?

Damian held himself, it just felt so awful, everything was a mess and it was his fault. Everytime Damian closes his eyes he can see how the thunder and lighting cast shadows over the people. The person who took his life always changed while the one person in that chair took his last breath and stayed the same. Same story. Same ending.

The snap of a neck.

The screaming and crying.

Then the Butler with his head limp to the side.

It all ended and began the same way.

He had snapped his neck. Bane had snapped his neck. The darkness had snapped his neck. Regardless of who was behind it, it's the result of who fell at the hands that hurts Damian the most.

"Hey, it's okay. It's akhi, I'm here for you"

When did Damian start crying again? When did Jason wake up to see this mess? More importantly, how long has Jason been hugging Damian?

"It won't end... i-it won't stop... make it stop. The nightmares, the thunder, the lightning, the bones, the screams. Make it stop... please make it stop I can't handle it"

"I know, I know. It hurts I know it does, but it will pass. You can't let it consume you"

"Why did you answer? If I hadn't been so cowardly then I could've done it and let you been in peace. Why didn't you hang up? Why did you let me talk?"

"Cause I care too much habibi, I couldn't let you go. I love you"

"...don't leave me"

"I won't"

"Don't go... don't leave me alone again"

"I won't let you be alone"

"Stay... please stay longer"

"Heh well this is my house, jokes aside, I'm staying Dami"

Then a knock brought the two back from their hug. Jason stood up while smiling at Damian "I'm not leaving, I promise. I'm just going to answer the door" "Tt. I know that" Even though he says that, a huge part of him was glad to hear that Jason wasn't going to leave.

Jason opened the door after looking through the peephole.

Damian was knocked to the floor and was slobbery.

"Titus?" The Dane barked and his tail wagged "I'm so sorry Titus, I love you so much I'm sorry I left you! I was scared. Please forgive me!" Titus sat down as Damian hugged his pet. Inhaling the warmth and smell of Titus's fur.

Damian smiled a bit as he moved Titus away, seeing who brought him... Dick was standing at the doorway, he looked at a loss. Damian's smile fell and he looked guilty.

"Richard... I'm... I didn't-"

Dick tackled Damian in a hug and Dick's sobs came out like exhales of relief and laughter. Damian somehow had a river of tears hiding even after losing so many tears before.

"I-- I'm sorry Richard, I'm so sorry I left. I'm sorry I tried to- I don't know what happened to me! Nothing felt good anymore, I'm a mess. I couldn't handle it, I'm sorry"

"Damian! I was so worried! I-I was so scared!"

"You... you aren't mad?"

"No, why would I be mad? I'm overjoyed to see you here and I love you so much I'm sorry I wasn't there for you, I noticed the changes but didn't do a thing"

"Don't blame yourself... you tried to get me to stay. I'm the one who left"

"I'm so glad to see you"

"Me too"

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poodle-anon · 9 months

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☔️ for the ask? I love hearing about concepts! Especially the ones that’ll never hit the paper.

-miniscrew

OH BOY this took a minute to think on but I think I got one @miniscrew-anon

For the life of me I can’t figure out how to write it, but I really really want to explore Wild’s relationship with his dysphoria/lack thereof. I’ve genuinely tried putting it to paper more than once, but each time I can’t seem to get the vibe quite down in a way that resonates with what I enjoy about it in my head

Under a read more because it’s long, and has to do with HRT, gender dysphoria, panic attacks, discussion of needles, and trans!Wild having an overall Bad Time for a day within a 99.99% positive experience being trans otherwise.

As a disclaimer upfront, I am transmasculine nonbinary myself, and feel that I have a right to depict explorations of that experience in combination with binary ftm experiences. Also, this is NOT a story about detransitioning or “forced feminization,” do NOT get it fucking twisted or I will hunt you the fuck down. I will find you. This is about euphoria and dysphoria and happiness with one's body but clothing/presentation causing issues.

So for background, in my headcanons, I’m pretty convinced that Wild normally doesn’t experience dysphoria at all - something that very much separates him from Champion, whom is a very binary trans man. Wild woke up in a very masculine post-transition non-op body, Champion had been very satisfied with himself and his transition, having begun it as a teen with access to puberty blockers prior to hrt, so he never went through estrogen puberty. Wild is at first pretty bad at keeping track of and administering his hrt shots, something that Champion was very strict about and pretty much never failed to keep up with. At first, the other guard boys had to help him with them when he did remember because the anticipation of a shot is TERRIBLE for wanting to get it done when you have adhd and it’s something you don’t really think matters in your own personal upkeep. Eventually, Wild just kinda gives up on it with a happy shrug and carries on his merry way in his very androgynous body, transness usually being a fun afterthought for him. Even when he starts retaining fat differently, and growing breast tissue through lazy estrogen puberty, he’s having fun with this new experience! Heck yeah more gender fuckery, he’s having a great time being a man while doing it. Nobody in his life invalidates his gender over it. Period.

However.

There is an idea that I must credit to Stormy for sparking but has been making me lose my mind (/pos) over ever since, wherein at some point Wild goes to the mall with one of the other boys (possibly Hyrule, possibly Wars and Sky, never been able to figure that one out) to shop for higher end lingerie. (I see this fic as separate from and kinda irrelevant to the second puberty concept, so disregard that point for now and play with me in this space.) And he picks out some really cute finds! He's very happy with some lacy little numbers that he knows will go well with his eyes or whatever, but you know how they make lingerie that comes in pairs with bras that are equally as cute? Well, he goes to try one on, and standing there in the changing room, looking in the mirror, the world kinda stops.

There’s this overwhelming sense of badwrongbad while looking at himself in a bra. He doesn’t recognize the person in the mirror, he doesn’t like that person, and has no real way of articulating it to himself why.

Now, bear in mind, Wild very technically is a dissociative fugue state initially brought on by a severe concussion, which is a WHOLE OTHER can of worms I hope to explore one day. As thorough of a personality change there is though, he’s not as stable of an existence as I think he presents

So something about how he feels about seeing this sets off a dissociative panic attack that is probably the closest thing that he’s ever come to Champion surfacing into active memory, bearing some resemblance to the one in The Brave that was set off by Time playing the ocarina.

But is the bra too small? The wrong material? Who knows. Doesn’t matter. He’s suffocating. His skin itches like hell. He needs this thing off now.

Once he exits, the guys he’s with immediately notice a shift. He’s uncharacteristically serious for a beat or two, maybe even recognizable if he’s with the guard boys, but if he’s not nonverbally putting stuff on the reject rack, Wild laughs it off as nothing being wrong. Either Wild or someone else points out they can go get a smoothie after Wild decides he’s not buying any clothes, and his day gets a little better. The temperature of it maybe makes his nipples a little hard and Wild doesn’t know why he’s so aware and uncomfortable with that right now, but the others might also notice that he’s still periodically itching where the band and straps were until they get home.

By the time they leave the mall, he’s more or less fine and all of the Overwhelming Dread has passed. That night though, he puts a blanket over the mirror in his room. And when he curls up in bed, there’s this shuddering sigh that leaves him. That kind where you're just on the edge of crying but don't.

Anyway thanks for coming to my TED talk :)

#POODLE ANON ANGST REAL???#For the record digital footprint has champ as cis because that was before it was retconned in stormy fics #townhouse au #hsh wild #hsh champion #st0rmyverse #cw dysphoria #cw needles #cw panic attack #cw dissociation #poodle barks #ask game #DAMN this got long #hope it makes a lick of sense and is actually enjoyable to read lol #shit i forgot to tag miniscrew srry #the twilight bark

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