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lilietsblog · 3 years

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so anyway im just going to scream about pgte queer representation again

cause guys we’ve got

- a bisexual most-definitely-aromantic-i-have-a-flipbook-of-evidence main character who’s the cutest blushing romantic to ever have eyes for approximately anything that moves

- her aroace-dont-@-me-i-also-have-a-flipbook-of-evidence-and-all-of-yall-saying-she-just-likes-flying-fotresses-better-than-sex-are-actively-proving-my-point enemies to vaguely-love-interests-maybe-i-mean-the-mc-literally-said-she-should-know-better-than-to-think-she-doesnt-love-her foil who uses flashing skin as a method of passive aggressiveness

- a cute as heck aroace autistic boi who’s in a romantic relationship

- with a heart-full-of-love very pan girl who respects his boundaries (once she gets to know him anyway. indrani pls dont pinch random ppls butts when you first meet them you’re awful)

- I am not talking about poly right now because it’s technically a separate thing from queer but the protagonist is also in a relationship (that is friends with benefits, where benefits include being disgustingly and adorably domestic) w/ said girl and stans her boyfriend and their relationship intensely, while the girl won’t stop shipping her / meddling in her Other Love Life because she wants her to be happy and is also terrible askdjfhaksjdh themmmmm

- a demiromantic demisexual disaster of an older man who’s a dad to one of the above, an uncle to another and technically if you squint a stepdad to the third, and killed the dad of the last one (not listed in order) (none of these people are related genetically to be clear, except for the dead one), and mentored his nephew about what being on the aro/ace spectrum is like bc having one (1) love interest does not make you not on the spectrum actually

While Papa had not been able to understand, not truly, for it was against the nature of an incubus to be as he was, his other father had seen in [him] similarities to what he’d once seen in his uncle. Enough to suggest a conversation. Not every kind of love involves bedplay or poetry, Uncle [that guyyyy] had told him. You can crave closeness with someone without craving them in other ways. Sometimes it just… fits. The intensity of it can be misleading, but you will learn.

- yeah so the autistic boi is also the adopted son of a warlock and an incubus. they are married. its controversial. incubi are not normally SENTIENT

- (this one is and they were the cutest couple as long as their son was single. now him & his gal take the cake)

- so. many. gay background and side characters

- unfortunately enbies and trans peeps are side character only but there is this vibe that like 3/4 of the side characters could be trans and we would never know bc guess whose business this is none of? anyone’s. maybe the big bad is trans. no-one in the setting has any reason to care

- also the one trans woman definitely mentioned to be such is currently off conquering her homeland. we stan a future empress. i mean imperialism is bad but so is obstructing a war effort to save the world so we stan anyway tbh

- using facepaint to indicate what gender you currently are in accordance with your homeland’s tradition? people who can read the facepaint use the right pronouns when you’re right there and everyone else / when you’re not there goes with “they”? that is happening

- “ma’am... please start a dynasty... get married... have kids... if u like girls better that’s fine we have the (miracle) technology just please... change your surname to something respectable and do a dynasty” “no”

- this is not even remotely close to everything that is happening

- i swear straight characters exist. i mean i mentioned one already (EDIT: turns out i didnt mention her. i removed that bullet point for some reason. tl;dr the protag had a ?crush? on her for a while) and there are no less than *counts on fingers* three others that statistically are shown to have interest in only girls/guys respectively

#a practical guide to evil #is it bury your gays if the work just has too few straight characters and too many people dying to be any other way #representation #queer #mogai #pgte is like VIBES #bisexual is a term thats used in-universe but aro/ace spectrum terms are not #they have really cute ways to refer to it tho as you can see quoted above #when they care to which most of the time they do not #the biggest fuck anyone ever gave abt the autistic boi's orientation #was an enemy lamenting he cannot be seduced by a spy #truly a tragedy of our age #books #literature

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ursie · 2 years

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Sorry if you don't go here (tbh I don't either), but do you have thoughts or feelings about Viktor from Arcane and anything you know/have heard about his portrayal as a cane/crutch user?

(A related little thing: obviously being attractive to abled people isn't the Mark of Success or anything, but tbh it's kind of cathartic that so many people in the Arcane fandom look at a fatigued, ill, and cane-reliant guyand go "😳". I feel like people often consider disabled characters in very desexualized ways along w the infantilization that can be typical?)

I don’t go here but I totes get your point about disabled characters being desexualized!! I had a post about that somewhere like yes Aro/Ace disabled people exist but people will literally see disabled people in media and immediately remove the idea they could love or be loved and it’s like..ok 😔 disabled and Ace are not inherently synonymous w each other 😭

Here’s the post : https://ursie.tumblr.com/post/671063838301536256

#asks #anon

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albatris · 4 years

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is there romance in atdao or is it all just found famiy vibes? if there is romance im real curious about how peeps would express those kinda feelings

hello hi hello this took me AGES I’m very sorry I kept getting distracted by things such as being asleep

anyway yes thank you for the question! romance? yes, we’ve got some of this going on, sure, though I would count the romance as within the found family c:

I don’t know if you wanted a Ramble™ but this is a topic I can ramble about and I’m in a bit of a rambling mood so you can have a ramble, free of charge, just take it up to the register and have them enter the code “logan this is not what I ordered”

but yeah, your question? about eight vaguely relevant tangents immediately spring to mind! also spoilers?? spoilers after the cut

I really should have formatted this response in a way that puts the super spoiler heavy part at the end but since when have I ever ever in my life made things easy for my dear sweet followers

y’all know what I’m like with spoilers by now

but yeah, to set the scene, there’s two main romantic......................... situations going on in the story, the first being between Noa and Alice, and the second being between Kai, Tris and Shara. so, the former I would describe as “a legitimate romantic subplot” and the latter I would describe as a character tripping and falling into it by sheer chance and just being like “oh whoops well I guess this is what I’m doing now” which is also extremely valid

Noa and Alice end up not being, like, Confirmed Endgame by the end of the story even though much of the plot looks like it’s heading in that direction, and like...... yeah, in my head, they do end up in a romantic relationship at some point post-story, but I’m not sure on what sort of timeline

during the story itself, it’s established that they do share mutual feelings for each other and this is likely heading towards a romantic relationship, but I think since much of the story sees Noa still trying to find her feet in just, like....... having friends at all, and trusting those friends, and knowing who she is in relation to others on any sort of level, I think near the end of the story she decides that she’s not at a place where she wants to try and figure out a romantic relationship just yet

it’s not a hard no, it’s just a “hey not right now” and a “let’s see what happens later down the track, for now it’s just nice to be around friends” ‘cause even that is just super new territory for her

which I worry will make people feel cheated, but also, I think it’s the ending for this subplot that would make the most sense for where the characters are at and would be the most fitting c:

and secondly there’s like

hm. ok

well, there WAS a vaguely jokey post I made yonks back where I pitched the idea of an ATDAO polyamory ending being just like. Alice who’s dating Noa who’s dating Shara who’s dating Kai who’s dating Tris. and I stand by this being solid as hell. but also, given the ending to Noa’s subplot with Alice, it doesn’t really work in the story canon, n though I think Noa and Shara is a dynamic I really enjoy, it would likely not actually play out in reality :P

which leaves the trio of Shara, Kai and Tris, a trio I’ve always vibed with and had vaguely on my radar as a valid poly ending but for some reason didn’t twig that I could just, like, make it canon and no one can stop me LMAO

but yeah, this one, like I said, it’s not so much aHD whole big subplot, it’s just something that falls into place super casually and is never really brought up beyond “oh is this a thing that’s happening?” “yeah” “cool ok”

I think there’s a brief window as a reader where you might be like “ugh this is gonna be a stupid love triangle or some weird jealousy thing” but then it just ends up being a complete non-issue. there’s basically zero romantic drama for this plotline, Tris and Shara are bros and Kai is dating both of them

n as for your question itself, it depends on whether you mean, like.......... how they would go about expressing to someone else that they have romantic feelings or, like, how they express their affections in a romantic scenario

‘cause for the former, the answer for both Tris and Noa is just.... they don’t

Noa because at the start of the story she views her crush on Alice as a huge fucking inconvenience that’s going to make things messy and complicated, so she just tries to ignore her romantic feelings as hard as she can (obviously this doesn’t last hahaha). but yeah, she’s just very pissed off that she has a crush and doesn’t want to acknowledge it :P she also has no idea how to respond when Alice expresses romantic interest in her, this is all extremely new territory

and Tris because he doesn’t realise he’s even experiencing romantic feelings in the first place?? like. the boy has so much baseline anxiety jitteriness that stuff like, idk, feeling your heart pick up pace, butterflies in the stomach, any kinda social nerves you get around the people you like, etc, he experiences this with Kai and is automatically just like “great now you’re here and I’m having a panic attack can you please leave”

just slaps a label of Bad Vibes onto it then later is like Wait A Minute

but yeah, I think neither of them would be super comfy actually expressing their feelings out loud or making that first move, Noa because she’s super fuckin petty and stubborn and Tris because he’s waaaaaaaay too fuckin socially anxious for that shit are you kidding

in terms of how they express their affections though??

so like. I have to reiterate that I’m aro and ace and I have a lot of difficulty in articulating what makes a romance A Romance, like??? I have relationships that are friendships and relationships that are romantic, but I myself don’t really experience romantic attraction in the way other people do

as such, the way I write characters in their romantic expressions tends to be just an extension of how they act in their friendships? which I think is a pretty ok thing to base a romance off anyway, but like, yeah, romance, this is a mystery to me for the most part, do I look like I know what a romance is

anyway I think once Alice and Noa get a little closer there’s a lot of good-natured ribbing and friendly insults, n since they already had a bit of a rivalry going on beforehand I would imagine this competitive streak doesn’t disappear :P Noa is generally uncomfy with being Openly affectionate and soft with others, so I think there would be a lot of more “indirect” ways she shows this care. I think they have the kind of relationship where from an outside perspective you don’t really get how it’s warm and affectionate, but it’s just ‘cause you don’t know the lingo, right

Tris is just the cheerleader type in all friendly relationships I think, lots of encouragement and hype and compliments and enthusiasm, he’s very excitable and very easily impressed hahahaha. though I think it takes people a while to click that he’s legitimately being 100% earnest and genuine, the constant deadpan does not work super well in his favour

anyway I’m gonna hop back up for a sec so I can cover Shara and Kai real quick

these two are............ a bit more direct with actually verbalising their feelings to people? Shara is a socially anxious type, but also not someone who enjoys beating around the bush, n she generally likes to just speak what’s on her mind and be direct with others whenever she can. Kai just kinda........ I mean, I don’t think they consider romantic affections to be a super big deal? at least in theory? I say in theory ‘cause, like, I think they give the impression that this kind of conversation is just super smooth and easy for them, and on the inside they’re like “it’s really not a big deal it’s just feelings it’s whatever” but they’re still anxious about it and had to hype themself up for like a week before going through with it lmao

but ye, in terms of how they express their affections, they’re both fairly similar. you suddenly will just Not Be Able To Get Rid Of Them, they’ll constantly be hanging around in the same space or dragging you into whatever shenanigans they’ve got going on, I think for both of them their favourite expression of love is just sharing in experiences or sharing the same space, just Being Involved And Around

a “hey come help me run errands” type or a “I’m gonna hang off the back of your sofa while you’re studying and sometimes slingshot balls of paper at you with a rubber band” type :P

and now I have to go on Another Tangent just ‘cause the subject matter is vaguely relevant and idk where else I’m gonna go on this tangent

there is definitely some part of me that’s still super super fond of the idea of Kai being aro??? and I initially did write them as such, but for the moment this is not something that’s remained canon in text ‘cause I’m a little bitch ‘cause like

Kai would be aro in very much the same way I am, which is to say, they’re a person who is extremely full of love and who has difficulty in differentiating what the step is supposed to be between friendship feelings and romantic feelings, so, someone who may not necessarily “get” what makes a romance a romance or experience any feelings different from a strong friendship, but who is still open to being in a romantic relationship

(the difference between us being that Kai Really Really Likes People and enjoys being close with others as much as possible, where I’m more the awkward standoffish hermit type lmao)

but yeah, I was kinda like. well. despite being a perfectly valid aro person in a romantic relationship myself, if I were a fictional character people would probably call me bad rep HAHAHA. like “yeah they’re apparently aro but they don’t really ACT aro and the author put them in a romantic relationship ://”

and while I think there’s value to be had in fiction in exploring the different ways a person can be aro, I just, like................... thought about the hypothetical future discourse and was just like UGH. I cannot be fucking BOTHERED

I get enough people in real life being like “ok but you’re not REALLY aro like why do you even bother having that label it’s not like it matters in your context” even though I’m the goddamn expert on my own experiences you bastards

lmao

but yeah I think aro Kai is canon in my heart hahahaha. and they may end up articulating some of the same feelings, maybe just not with the label applied, who knows

anyway that’s my rambles done I think! thanks for reading n have a nice night c:

#Anonymous #i started to ramble then i was like #oh man i better keep this short actually and try and get through this quick and then by the end of it i was #back to rambling #it's fine #i would go into more detail abt the relationships themselves but i think. this reply is super lengthy as is :')#i think i have been on some rambles abt shara and kai in the past?? but idk if i could find those to link them lmao #atdao #there's an only tangentially relevant ramble about being aro right at the end #cuz its like. im aro and i feel this in my heart but also #*gestures vaguely*#anyway g'night team

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pixie-skull · 5 years

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VERY last minute, yet all my peeps who are ace, aro, demi, grey/gray, please offer suggestions! =D

So tomorrow I am probably going to be talking about asexuality in my abnormal psychology class and on how asexuality and the umbrella (even though is part of the LGBTQ+ Community) terms related are valid. I plan to explain from my personal life as examples and what I have heard, but please comment or private message (no shaming if sending an anonymous message in my ask box too) on what below. This a rough idea on what I want to say, but you can offer feedback too.

“Hi, everyone, so with our professor letting me share, I share what asexuality means to me like someone under this umbrella term. So as stated this asexuality itself an umbrella term for a few various terms. I use a video game power-up bar as a reference. Asexual implies low to zero sexual attraction, so little special power-up. Also, yes your sexual orientation is that, your sexual attraction and romantic orientation your romantic feelings. Back to topic, demisexual is as the root implies, demi, half, or more like a gradual build of emotional and either sexual, romantic, or both feelings. Some people say this seems ‘normal’ yet some people have relationships where no sexual feelings form, but in others do, nothing personal I would imagine. Greysexual, no worries not named after the horrible books and movies, more the hue itself. Like grey is a rare occasion of sexual, romantic, or both feelings, so like a power combo that short-lived. Going back to asexual or ace is only to sexual orientation; little to no romantic feelings is aromantic or aro. Now do not get me wrong you can appreciate someone astically, yet that is different in its own many overlaps. Although individuals under this are not broken, they are just different degrees of attraction, hence such extremes like sex addicts exist. Also, the people under this can have happy and healthy relationships. If a friend of mine happily married for six years and is ace biromantic, myself having five relationships all romantic and I suppose can be dubbed demisexual-homo panromantic. Yes, you can find one gender more attractive than another, and that is fine, but I again been romantic and not seek sexual relationships, so I could be grey-homo, but I say simply I like women more, and this does mean both cis and trans women. Some people, like my friend again, do have the two more easily cut. Another confusion is if people in this umbrella of the huge LGBTQ+ Community, can be sexual, if a high libido, self-pleasure, and if they have a partner, could be sexual with, but again what they experience is different. Again as someone who never been sexual in my own life if a partner or own self-time, if you get my meaning. At the end, this umbrella is being more and more discussed and it is amazing or ace-mazing to.”

Again everyone please share what you think, even if shorten, more facts, ect, you deserve to have a chance to share. Have a good day darling peeps. <^_^> *offer hug*

#asexuality support #Asexuality Greysexuality (or Graysexuality) Demisexuality Support #LGBTQ+ Community #lgbtq+#LGBT Community #lgbt #I am so open about myself O.O I am even shocked how comfortable I feel

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soft-butch-cassidy · 7 years

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Yo, I really hope this doesn't come over as rude (since it's just me trying to learn about the experiences of my fellow lgbt peeps) but I was wondering why lesbians have a flag separate from the rainbow homosexual flag, and why it's such a bug problem for it to not be included? I assume it has something to do with the sexualization of lesbians but I'm not sure, could you explain?

Anonymous said: whats that post saying like “why include an ace flag but not a lesbian flag”, like whats wrong with the ace flag? and theres a gay flag

I’m going to answer these together, because they are related asks.

The lesbian flag started out as a flag especially for high femme lesbians– for lipstick lesbians. Eventually the lipstick kiss was dropped and the flag was adopted as the flag for lesbians as a whole. This is as far as I know– I could be wrong, but the research into LGBTQ histroy and symbolism is vague and poorly documented.

The lesbian flag is important to lesbians because we have a separate gay identity. We are still gay, but lesbianism is a culture in and of itself. No one else can use terms like “femme” and “butch” for example. We’ve always been about breaking the gender binary. Our history in LGBTQ history is important. We’re the L, after all.

Of course we use the rainbow flag. It’s a bit of a blanket flag for people who experience attraction to people of the same gender, just like the term “gay.” Lesbians are gay. But lesbianism is a culture. The attraction of feminine aligned people to other feminine aligned people has always been unique. But outside of our own community, lesbians have been erased, dismissed, and punished.

Lesbian is a porn category designed with straight men in mind. The existence of a relationship between two women, where no men are involved, is sexualized for the consumption of men. Outside of porn, lesbians are thought to have more frivolous relationships; that they don’t last, that it’s not sexual at all, that it’s friends with benefits, etc. Even butch-femme is thought by many to be “mimicking” heterosexuality. It isn’t; it’s breaking the gender binary. A butch woman is a woman. She’s not a man. She’s butch. She’s not “copying” men or “performing masculinity” or whatever. It’s a unique aspect of gender in lesbian culture.

(for the record, I’d describe myself as soft butch)

Everything about lesbians is constantly forgotten or dismissed. We’re murdered on TV, we’re used as fanservice, we’re ~palatable~ to a straight male audience (side-eyeing game devs on this one) to sell entertainment. We don’t get happy endings in movies or shows. We get killed. Bury Your Gays trope, anyone? We get told we’re not really gay, we’re actually bisexual, we need to be open minded, we need to not exclude men from people we would date.

The exclusion of lesbians from pride, from tumblr’s gif to photosets and shit from users… how many of those “pride x for everyone!” posts do you see that have the red, the pink, the white? There’s always gay, bi, pan, trans, nonbinary, genderfluid, asexual, aromantic. We get left out, or lumped in with gay. We’re gay, yes, but we’ve got our own flag.

As for aro/ace flags in the gif… I used to ID as asexual. Even today I’m not a terribly sexual person. But the ace community is a goddamn nightmare. It’s horrendously homophobic and bizarrely attracted to the desire to be oppressed. Cis, straight ace people are still straight. Cis straight aro people are still straight. Asexuality is a fairly newer term, coined in the last…. thirty years? I believe? Aromantism is even newer. Neither are terribly well-known outside of the internet or liberal areas. Which, sure, is pretty lame for aro and ace people, but…

I’m terrified of how society views me for being gay. When I ID’d as ace I was never scared that someone might literally murder me for it. There’s no ~~sin~~ in not experiencing attraction. I don’t hear the same awful, horrible things about asexuality that are said about being gay. I’ve never seen anyone say anything like “you’re going to hell” for being asexual. Children don’t get kicked out of their homes for being ace.

Ace people aren’t murdered at a nightclub for being asexual like gay people have been.

I like who I am. I am happy with who I love, with how I love. The lesbian community is, in my experience, lovely. TERFs aside, because they aren’t allowed in the lesbian community, of course.

But we have been left out of everything. We’ve had to carve ourselves out, scream about our love from the side, and still, we’re ignored, forgotten, dismissed.

This is all my personal perspective on it. Take it with a grain of salt, but don’t dismiss my view.

#anon #cas answers #ace discourse /

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159potterhead · 3 years

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Idk marriage seems weird. Given my situation I'm not finding any love myself. So I know my parents will intervene at some point and they will bring some guy and tell me to marry him the next day while I didn't even know person existed until yesterday. That's werid. And as far as love goes yk I have only liked fictional people, I also like real people but it's always like they look good, their dress is cute, they have nice smile. That's it. I've never got to the point where I make compromises or sacrifices to see that person or I get butterflies. This brings to another interesting thing coz after a lot of waiting to get hit by love I got fed up, it was very foreign to me. Peeps around me used to talk about their loved ones all the time and I used be like get over it they are not as important as you think, most of the people I knew were already in love and it sounded so crazy to me I started thinking that “love” doesn't exist, I thought people are just faking it to fill their sad empty life, they are just obsessing over another person so they don't have to face their life problems and reality. Coz love was something I never experienced and I waited a lot, I finished school I got into college but it never happened so I thought yeah it doesn't exists. I also considered that I might be aro/ace but I liked fictional/celebrity people so I ruled that out. Now, this thing went for a long time and then that Michael guy entered the picture.

****

I hope I didn't freaked you out with the signs of addiction but in my defence I told you to sit down for that and I also told you to walk away. But you choose this instead.

Yeah. No one knows that babe until you study this stuff. And yeah that's how it is, anyone who has brain will go through it. That's the wiring of brain.

Oh! Really? I love that you're having the big moment. (Hope it's like slow burn Oh! Moment) and in love you're addictive to the person so it makes sense to act that way. Babe again no one knows this until you're studing it. Love is complicated even inside the brain.

😂😂No I'm no genius. I'm just sharing my knowledge. You wanted smart talk and I'm giving you that. I could have gone with microorganisms or citric cycle but that's something you won't even relate to and it will be very boring you don't wanna know if shigella is non spore forming. It's some useless info your brain will toss out. That's why I choose neuroscience.

Do you wanna continue more on this? We haven't got to the evolution part yet. All this was very surface level. And you have to assure me if you're getting it coz I always think this is very weird way to explain things, I need some paper and pen and diagram and I wonder if you get lost somewhere, if you're only saying you get it for the sake of saying. And also you stop me anytime. I don't wanna bore you.

oh that sounds bad:(( ah so you’ve liked people but never fell in love? ok that’s pretty deep. I mean life doesn’t end after you graduate high school, right? perhaps that person and you still didn’t find eachother. you may not be wanting all this pep talk stuff, but I know this will work: destiel. yes it’s fictional, I get it. but what’s the possibility that it won’t ever happen in reality? the guy went through over half his life just messing about here and there when an angel just popped up out of nowhere, and it took him the whole other half of his life to even realize that they were actually in love. time is such a strange thing. you could also be aro/ace, who knows! oh yeah that michael dude that I’d gladly step on, fyi.

***

no dw you didn’t! it came as a surprise yes, but it was intriguing!

wow. you’re really interesting, did you know that? this is just making me yearn more and more for our late night talks under the stars✨

(yes that’s exactly how it’s like!) I didn’t even have any idea that the brain plays such a big part in love, I thought it was mostly the heart’s job.

yeah? and isn’t that what a genius does? so idc if you won’t believe it, but you’re one intellectual individual babe. the who is what???🤨 yeah okay I have no idea what that means😂 ohhh so that’s an example of information that my brain will discard while i’m asleep. ngl, I didn’t neuroscience would be even as mildly interesting as this. go on and hit me up with some other bizarre fact!

duh?! that was just the SURFACE??? oh do go on then! I am 100% understanding all of this, I will let you know when I get confused;) no don’t worry, I have this thing that if I don’t understand something, my brain will stop functioning until I finally wrap my head around that thing. so really if I don’t get something, i’ll tell you. I PROMISE you I am not bored!

🎶I know you're troubled about changes that are weighing you down. when life just ain't fair, it's okay to be scared, nobody's that figured out. and I know a place we can hide, paint our own world full of life. ride off in the sunset, get lost in the moment, even if it's just tonight. baby, sink in this bed, stare with me at the ceiling. let's lay here, catching our breath, and if we slip away while we're high on the feeling. I promise we won't have regrets, if you just let me love you to death🎶💕

#keep going!!!!!#also I didn’t know what part of the song to put in so I put this whole chunk ahah #thee lover anon saga <3

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