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youjustgotpersassied · 2 years

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A comprehensive compilation of why Severus Snape is an awful person that doesn’t deserve redemption, pity, or any kindness ever (not in any particular order):

- He is obsessed with the Marauders when they are younger, and tries to compare their antics to the actions of very real, blood supremacist, dark magic-using bullies that Snape was hanging out with and found amusing. (Edit: I’m adding that I’m not saying James and Sirius were right in their actions, I’m simply pointing that Snape wasn’t either. This post isn’t about the marauders, this is about Snape)

(DH, The Prince’s Tale, p673-674, Arthur A. Levine Books edition)

“‘They sneak out at night. There’s something weird about that Lupin. Where does he keep going?’ ‘He’s ill,’ said Lily. “They said he’s ill—’ “Every month at the full moon?’ said Snape. ‘I know your theory,’ said Lily and she sounded cold. ‘Why are you so obsessed with them anyway? Why do you care what they’re doing at night?’”

- Snape was very clearly trying to out Remus and actively trying to prove his case about knowing Remus was a werewolf. (More on this later)

-Calls Lily a mudblood, and then tries to excuse his actions. Then Lily says “...you call everyone of my birth Mudblood, Severus. Why should I be any different?” Snape says absolutely nothing to defend himself on this statement, so we can only assume that it is accurate and he commonly uses a slur to describe other students around him.

-We know Snape invented Levicorpus, which we later see James use. How do you think James learned it if not because Severus had used it on him or another student before? We even see Snape use Sectumsempra on James. Sectumsempra, aka the spell capable of cutting someone open and leaving them to bleed to death. This is the kind of experimentation Snape did with Dark Magic.

-Snape was willing to sacrifice the life of a BABY without a second thought until he discovered that the child was Lily’s. Even after this, he prioritizes Lily’s life and isn’t concerned whatsoever about the life of Harry, who at this time is less than a year old.

-If Voldemort had decided that Neville was the Chosen One instead of Harry, Severus Snape would still be a death eater. He didn’t think being a Death Eater was wrong in any way- it wasn’t until he was directly affected by a childhood crush did he reconsider. James and Lily Potter fought for the light because they believed in the light. Severus Snape fought against the dark because the dark had offended him. Had Voldemort gone after the Longbottoms instead, Snape would have lived and died as the most loyal Death Eater in history. Edit: I understand that we can say ‘if’ all day long. The point here I’m trying to make is that Severus Snape is only supporting the light side because it benefits him in this situation. I’m simply pointing out that he’s selfish by nature.

-The prophecy states that the child will be born to parents that have thrice defied the Dark Lord. So therefore Lily in some way defied Voldemort 3 other times. And only now Snape wants to save her? No. It has more to do with the guilt he’s feeling for telling Voldemort about the prophecy. It wasn’t her death that phased him as much as how he’d feel if he caused her death.

-Snape hates Harry simply for the fact that Harry looks like his father. Have you ever considered how Harry would’ve been treated if he’d been a girl that looked like Lily? Edit: I AM NOT INSINUATING ANYTHING PEDOPHILIC. I am making the point that when Harry come to school, Snape saw him and recognized his childhood bully, and instead of making the mature decision and not making judgments about Harry beforehand, he just assumes that Harry will be like his father was in school. If Harry had looked like Lily, Snape would’ve been more inclined to favor him the way he did Draco or Pansy. Not in a creepy way, just in a confirmation-bias kind of way.

-Severus snape once intended to publicly kill a student’s pet as punishment for getting a potion wrong. This pet was also a gift to Neville from his Uncle for getting into Hogwarts- something that his family didn’t think would happen because he wasn’t “magic enough”. So to him- Trevor is a reminder that he is a wizard and that his family is proud of him. Then Snape wants to kill him because Neville got a potion wrong, reinforcing the idea that Neville isn’t “magic enough”.

-When Snape covers for Lupin's class (told you we’d be back here), Snape taught the DADA class and made all the students write essays on how to kill werewolves so that Lupin would have to read these when he came back from going through an incredibly painful time.

-Snape did everything in his power to get Remus fired despite the fact that Remus had spent 16+ years pretty much homeless and without a job.

(OotP, Percy and Padfoot, p302, Arthur A Levine Books edition)

“‘I know she’s a nasty piece of work, though—you should hear Remus talk about her.’ ‘Does Lupin know her?’ asked Harry quickly, remembering Umbridge’s comments about dangerous half-breeds during her first lesson. ‘No,’ said Sirius, ‘but she drafted up a bit of anti-werewolf legislation two years ago that makes it almost impossible for him to get a job.’”

Edit: So let’s do some basic math here. This happens in Order of the Phoenix. The anti-werewolf legislation was written two years prior. This would’ve been during or around The Prisoner of Azkaban. Why would somebody randomly write a piece of legislation like this? Let’s just say that there was a teacher that was outed as a werewolf and people were not happy about it. That would give pretty good reason for someone to write a piece of legislation that would make it hard for a werewolf to get a job. Not just Remus. Every werewolf. Who outed Remus to the wizarding world at large? Severus Snape. So for anyone suggesting that what I wrote below is as good as fanfiction, maybe actually read the books and pay attention to smaller plot lines.

-When Snape tells everyone that Remus is a werewolf, he’s not just telling students or their parents. He’s telling the wizarding world. Because of this, Dolores Umbridge wrote a law that made it almost impossible for Remus to find a job. So not only did he ruin Remus’s life. He ruined the life of Every. Single. Werewolf. in the UK.

-Neville Longbottom’s greatest fear is Severus Snape. Not the woman who tortured his parents into insanity, not the worst wizard of all time, not even any of his other followers. His TEACHER. And this is at an age where Neville doesn’t know everything about Snape and all he’s done. That speaks VOLUMES.

-Condones and takes part in bullying a CHILD when Hermione had enormous teeth EXTENDING PAST HER CHIN growing because of a hex, Snape says, “I see no difference.” After this, Hermione permanently modifies her teeth.

(HBP, Snape Victorious, p160, Arthur A Levine Books edition)

“‘I was interested to see your Patronus.’ He shut the gates in her face with a loud clang and tapped the chains with his wand again, so that they slithered, clinking, back into place. ‘I think you were better off with the old one,’ said Snape, the malice in his voice unmistakable. ‘The new one looks weak.’”

-Mocks Tonks when her Patronus changed when she fell in love with Remus despite the fact that his changed to match Lily’s.

-“Snape took the page bearing Lily’s signature, and her love, and tucked it inside his robes. Then he ripped in two the photograph he was holding, so that he kept the part from which Lily laughed, throwing the portion showing James and Harry back on the floor, under the chest of drawers…” She was laughing at her husband and son. People she loved dearly enough to give up her life and Snape took that and cut them out of it so he could pretend she was laughing for him. Her love in the letter was for Sirius who was the best man at her wedding and her good friend in the order. Snape took that so he could pretend her love was for him. This isn’t romantic. It’s creepy. Snape feels entitled to Lily’s love even though he’s done nothing to deserve it.

-The ONLY reason Snape protects Harry is that he’s under an obligation to by Dumbledore (who is blackmailing him, so Snape doesn’t have a choice). Snape isn’t doing it because he wants to. He’s doing it because if he doesn’t, Dumbledore could sell him out to Voldemort and he’d be killed.

-Again, when he kills Dumbledore, it’s not out of the kindness of his heart or his care for Dumbledore. It’s because he’ll be killed or severely punished if he doesn’t.

-Snape may have done good things, but it isn’t because he wants to. It’s because he doesn’t have a choice.

Essentially, at his roots, Snape is a self-centered blood supremacist who bullies people and only does good things when being threatened and emotionally abuses children because he can’t get over somebody he was attracted to in middle school and is perfectly fine killing adults and infants alike when it’s in his best interest.

I’d like to say that much of this is heavily borrowed or inspired by other writers on this app. I have tagged every user I have access to. However, if you see anything you have written on here or anything please feel free to message me or leave a comment. :)

@sadgaywerewolf @mrsmarymorstan @jamespotterwearsglasses @lance-the-kanto-dragon-master @coffeeinanebula @warmhappycat @pleurocoelus @madamebomb @thefingerfuckingfemalefury @whoopsrobots @harrypotterconfessions @beekeepermarycatherine @honeybadgersdontgiveashit @tonksnymphadora @barricadeponine @jadedlights07 @dobbysclothes @hogwartsandrec @kago-make-dean-some-pie @prongsmydeer @girlswillbeboys11 @siriusblaque @upsettingthedementors @marauders4evr @maxxiegalaxy @ghost-of-bambi

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deafeninggardenerpanda · 9 months

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Please tell me someone supported Arthur without constantly comparing him 😭 Did the other generals have his back? It sounds like he was under a lot of pressure.

the thing with the gsa is that it operates under a very heavy class based system. upon news of his promotion, everyone, including the other generals who had been his equals and/or friends for many years up to that point, were expected to display a deeper amount of respect. it might've been nice at first, but over time that new position and responsibilities inherently left a sense of distance. there wasn't a lot they could say that would mean much, or that was even their place to say. ultimately, the position of leader was meant to be a burden that one person takes on behalf of everyone else

many years later, arthur bitterly realizes that he had been complicit in treating the former leader the same way the others now treat him. despite how much they cared for her and how beloved she was by the people, it was superficial in that no one ever offered her that care on any deeper level. and so, he resigns himself to the same fate he subjected someone else

the empty chair of general still needs to be filled, though, and at this point it's long overdue. one day, arthur decides on a whim to personally investigate a strong candidate for the position, who's staying on the main base for an indefinite amount of time. someone who, despite his capableness and loyalty to the army's cause, has a penchant for blatant disregard of the system and authority

#kirby #sir arthur #sir dragato #sir falspar #sir nonsurat #meta knight #krbay #kirby right back at ya #asks #kittenvirus #an attempt to infodump a ton of lore #hnghg thank you sm for the ask btw!#yall are like the backbone of society i hope your next meal is so delicious #my art

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eggplantwaffles · 1 year

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I know people want Jason and Steph to be friends, which I understand. They are very similar and would cause amazing amounts of chaos. But I think nobody is considering the possibility for drama here.

I think the similarities in their stories are just as compelling as the differences. Here’s some juxtaposition (I think I’m using that word correctly) for you:

They both had abusive, criminal fathers and addict mothers. But Jason grew up in Crime Alley and ended up on the street stealing to survive, before Bruce took him in. Steph was (lower?) middle class and lived in a suburb of Gotham. Jason was set up for failure by his economic status and where he lived, Steph was failed by the people around her (Arthur and Crystal).

Jason gets taken in by Bruce, going from living on the street to living in a mansion. Bruce loved him and he was Bruce’s son. Jason became Robin largely for fun. Steph was never “saved” from her situation, and she had a crappy up and down relationship with Bruce, which was partly a result of what happened to Jason. She became a vigilante all in her own, to save herself.

The only precedent to Jason’s Robin was Dick, who obviously grew to be a very successful solo hero, so there was a lot of pressure on Jason to live up to the original. Steph had three Robins come before her, but instead of being compared to Dick, like all the other Robins, she was compared to Tim and Jason. Bruce always saw her as a stand in until Tim came back and she could never get past that, but he also saw a lot of Jason in her which is (partly) why he never wanted her to be a vigilante (until she was useful to him).

They die in very similar ways but there are still some key differences, when Jason died he was actively trying to save his moms life. He objectively died heroically, but what gets remembered was his impulsiveness and this idea that he got himself killed. Steph died trying to fix a mistake she made. She accidentally started a gang war and got people killed (it wasn’t entirely her fault, a lot of it was because Bruce never really trusted her and treated her unfairly). When Jason died Bruce was actively trying to save him, but he never even knew Steph was gone. Steph escaped on her own and ran into Bruce on her way to Leslie’s clinic.

When Jason come back to life, he spends the time before returning to Gotham with the League of Assassins (not the best influences tbh). He expected Bruce to avenge him, but he never did. Jason was pissed off that his father let the man who killed him live. Steph (who spent her time after dying around better influences, like doctors) never expected Bruce to avenge her, she had many reasons not to expect this: Bruce was not her dad, they didn’t have a very positive relationship, and she started a whole gang war before she died.

When Jason come back as Redhood he is a villain, he goes on a crime and killing spree, becoming a major crime lord in Gotham. When Steph comes back she just goes back to being Spoiler, while Jason was angry at Bruce for not avenging him, Steph was just trying to make up for her own mistakes. Steph earns herself a second chance and becomes Batgirl, which she works hard for and genuinely succeeds at.

And I know that was a lot of information and (subjective) analysis but I thought it was important. So here’s where the drama comes in, I think that Steph intentionally avoids Jason for a long time because she used to get compared to him. She never knew him as Robin, all she knows is she was told she was too much like him and was gonna get herself killed, and then exactly that happened. And now he kills people, so what does that say about her?

Jason, on the other hand, doesn’t know Steph. What he does know is that another Robin died and came back, but this one came back better. When Jason died he was saving his Mom, when Steph died she got other people killed. But she gets to come back and be Batgirl? He’s upset that (from what he can tell) her death doesn’t affect her, she’s bright and optimistic, while his death haunts him.

Add on to all this the fact that Jason has a memorial in the bat cave and Steph doesn’t. Steph knows that despite all that Jason has done, Bruce and the other bats would still welcome him back into the family, but if she did what he did Bruce would take Batgirl from her and she’d be completely on her own.

So anyway, I imagine them eventually getting in a huge argument about something random and it boiling over into some minor violence before the other bats break it up. They act like children and are pretty nasty to each other and every other bat can tell it’s not really about each other but about how the other bats (specifically Bruce) have treated them.

Eventually Steph and Jason figure it out and find out they actually get along and have a lot of common interest (reading, making fun of Bruce and Tim, kicking weirdos in the crotch) but before that happens they don’t like each other and the other bats all feel really guilty about it, because what are comic books if not vessels for pain?

#stephanie brown #jason todd #dead robins #robin #batgirl #the spoiler #bruce wayne #batman #red hood #batfam angst #dc comics #batfamily #bat family #new earth #pre new 52

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soleminisanction · 6 months

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There are very few ""headcanons"" out there that get a bigger side-eye from me than people who try to make Stephanie Brown into a Black girl.

Firstly because that is not a headcanon. That's just a whole-ass retcon created out of thin air. A headcanon would be saying she's a natural redhead like how Morgan Kohan played her on Batwoman, or that she's mixed-race because of the curly way some artist draw her hair. There's definitely flexibility in race interpretations for comics but looking at the blue-eyed blonde-hair white girl and declaring her "actually Black" is not one of them.

Secondly, because I have seen (and sometimes gotten) a lot of harassment from Steph fans aimed specifically at Tim's actual, canon Black love interests and teammates. I still seethe at the memory of this one CBR interview I read back when YJ2019 was running, where Brian Michael Bendis and David F. Walker were clearly there to talk up Naomi and Teen Lantern, and in the middle of their heart-felt conversation about the importance of representation for young Black girls, the interviewer butted in to interject, "But you know who I want to see more of?? Stephanie!!!" This going on while Steph fans on Twitter were going on racist tirades because the book dared to highlight the history of Teen Lantern, a character who was actually advertised to be a part of the book and a new member of the team, instead of giving them more of their white-blonde fav who had never been affiliated with YJ and was never part of the advertising.

Thirdly, she was created and so often written by Chuck Dixon, a blatant racist, and as a result there are so many little scenes of her that have uncomfortable racial elements to them. Like the one where he created a pair of Black girls just so Stephanie could call them "raging morons" to their faces and then later talk about how stupid and immature they are compared to her. (Which I am still convinced was Dixon directly criticizing the much better teen pregnancy subplot from Icon & Rocket). Or the borderline-blackface white savior ""demon"" where she wears a dead gnu and maybe accidentally calls herself a bitch in Swahili. (Disclaimer: I do not speak Swahili, and thus do not know how a sentence structure that should read "I am thorn" turns into "I'm a bitch" or "I'm crazy," but I checked that translation with three different robo-translators and got the same results so, shrug.)

And finally -- god, Steph is just, such a walking avatar of white women's privilege. Her entire thing is demanding that she get her way, never letting anyone tell her no, and still being treated by the narrative as a pure-hearted ""beacon of hope"" that everybody needs to protect and nurture at all times.

The inciting incident of War Games can be boiled down to, "A white girl got told no, and made it everybody else's problem." The first attempted Black member of the Batfamly fucking died during that event and got almost entirely forgotten because people only went to bat for the white girl who caused the whole mess and the white woman who got character assassinated to kill her off.

If Stephanie were Black, she wouldn't exist anymore. Fuck, if she were a brunette or just as butch as Carrie Kelly, she probably wouldn't exist anymore. She certainly wouldn't be Batgirl, I can't imagine Dan Didio replacing Cass with another woman of color.

And it's not even just her? Her father is also a very white character. It is incredibly easy to summarize Arthur Brown as a mediocre white man lashing out at the world for not handing him the success he felt entitled to. Take that petulant entitlement away from him and you lose his entire character.

I'm ranting about it on my own blog instead of picking a fight because everybody's entitled to their own fandom experience and blah blah, but this is just. Yeah. Ugh.

#I almost want to label this a squick but that's not entirely right #what actually squicks me out in the Bat-fandom is people feminizing Jason Todd #because there's objectively nothing wrong with that it just sets off my dysphoria #whereas I am not going to attack anybody for this one but it doesn't disgust or weird me out it just makes me frustrated or mad #please appreciate the representation of actual black girls in comics instead of projecting onto the whitest white girl in gotham plz & thx #try milestone milestone is really good even if they do need more female heroes #stephanie brown critical #ranting #racism tw #race talk tw #chuck dixon critical #your friendly reminder that chuck dixon is a racist #long post #dash stretcher #sorry

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lovable-bastard · 1 year

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Here’s a piece of the fanfic that I’m making, based on the idea of Arthur thinking Dragoon and Dolma being Merlin’s grandparents :D

“Arthur was fucked. Truly and wholly fucked.

About a month ago Merlin revealed that he didn’t just have magic but was magic. It took some time for them to talk about it, but everything turned out fine. Merlin looked freer and happier, that was all that Arthur wanted for Merlin. He wanted him to be free and happy.

Then Merlin started to tell Arthur everything that he has missed, been left out of. Which, to Arthur’s dismay, is a lot. Jesus, he gets attacked a lot.

Merlin talked about his first day, first fight, everything. At some point he mentioned Dragoon, which got Arthur thinking about that weird and just plainly rude old sorcerer (or is he a wizard?, he should ask Merlin. Or Morgana, because apparently, she has magic as well and so does his new knight, which Arthur has to admit, should have remembered. It’s not every day you smuggle a druid boy.), he was something of a character, he was rude and somehow knew how he treated Merlin (Though it was blown way out of proportion, he checked with Merlin, just in case the old man was right). Dragoon also dressed weirdly, at least compared to other druids, but he also isn’t the most sane person out there”

#It will take some time to complete so i wanted you to see how it's going #it won't be exactly like the idea #but it will have the spirit #merlin #merlin bbc #merthur #Arthur Pendragon #merlin x arthur #the adventures of merlin #merlin fanfic #fanfic #gay #Dragoon #dolma #the dolma

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thisisjustmefangirling · 8 days

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Merlin rewatch, 2x10 : Sweet dreams.

Episode rewatched on the 16th of april 2024

Summary :

Dignitaries from rival kingdoms descend on Camelot for peace talks, but what King Alined really wants is war and he'll do everything in his power to stir up hostilities, even if it means using magic.

Alined's jester Trickler puts a spell on Arthur to make him fall madly in love with rival King Olaf's daughter Vivian. Chaos reigns in the palace and Camelot is once more poised on the brink of war.

Can Merlin free Arthur's heart before the prince loses his head in battle?

Sounds like a crucial piece of information for Arthur's future, as he is supposedly destined to unite Albion.

Alined looks as amiable as a prison door. Funny to see how he treats his servant and compare it to how Arthur treats Merlin. I wish we'd see how Uther treats his own servant but it seems like this character doesn't exist.

That knight handshake cracks me up all the time. Supposing that we don't sneeze or cough into our elbow, this is a very Covid-era like way of saying hello.

Oh hi Georgia Tennant ! <3

Arthur, you can be such a gentleman sometimes !

Oh wait THIS IS THE "Destiny and chicken" episode !!!!! Aaaaah I'm excited ! I love this line.

Why does the servant's face looks so familiar to me ? He must have acted in something else I've watched.

Vivian quickly revealing herself to be a brat like one of those Upper East side nepo babies from Gossip girl... That's gonna be fun ! I wonder what Georgia remembers from shooting this episode.

Arthur praising Guinevere <3

"She is one of Camelot's finest". "Then I fear for Camelot".

Milady. You're getting Lady Morgana's private maid. This is special treatment. Be graceful about it.

The disbelief on Arthur's face !

"Good luck with that one".

And then they laugh. How cute !

I think Vivian is an incredibly interesting character because she serves as a contrast for several character : Guinevere, and Arthur.

Let's not forget that she is acting like a spoiled brat, just like Arthur was when he first met Merlin. He's made some progress since then, and we see that in how he reacts to Vivian's behaviour.

Then, Vivian is a contrast to Guinevere : one is spoilt, demanding and arrogant, the other is hardworking, sweet, humble and kind. Two kinds of woman, two kinds of love interest.

"You should have heard what she said to Gwen".

I love these scenes between Arthur and Merlin when they're going about their daily routine, especially when they're in Arthur's bedroom being all domestic. Here, Arthur is dressing for the feast.

He had a hole in his first shirt, created by moths ! It's pretty weird that Merlin doesn't seem to care it would leave a bad impression on the five kings present at the feast. I like to think Merlin is both a bad and an extremely competent servant in his own way. He'll mess with unimportant stuff but will be extremely careful with Arthur's armor and making him look good to other people, especially foreign dignitaries. Well, that's my headcanon.

Merlin truly has no fear, he can just bring up Arthur's love for Gwen like that, out of the blue, when Arthur doesn't want to talk about it and is denying it (even after admitting his feelings about her to Merlin a few episodes ago when they were on their way to rescue Gwen from those bandits).

Arthur's threats can't make Merlin back down. He knows deep down, Arthur won't hurt him. He can keep on teasing him and laugh a bit about it.

"You're blushing !" "No I'm not."

Morgana should always be surrounded with pretty women. This should have been her destiny.

ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME ? BLUE BUTTERFLIES ? MERLIN'S FAVOURITE MAGIC SPELL ?

How can Alined treat his servant like a total buffoon when he knows he has magic ?

Also while sometimes love potions can make people act stupid and in funny ways on tv, I think we'd laugh way less if this was GHB.

Are the CROWN PRINCE'S CHAMBERS never properly guarded ? I swear ! Fuck ! No wonder prisoners keep escaping, the security in this castle is a vast mess ! And why is Arthur not waking up ? You're a soldier for fuck's sake. The way the guy pops up and down like he came from under the mattress and is going back there... Comical but illogical. Get up and leave, maybe ?

"You're dressed".

Everytime Merlin shows up to Arthur's room in the morning and Arthur is awake, up and dressed, Merlin is surprised.

"Indeed, you are very skilled... at getting people to do things for you." "That is your job".

Merlin is not afraid to spit the truth hahaha.

"I wish to make a proclamation of love".

Arthur you never speak of your feelings so openly. Ever.

Aww I love when Merlin is arranging Arthur's clothes and basically touching him as part of his job.

"Right. What will you tell your father?" "What does my father matter?" "Well, that's one way of approaching things."

"Of course" Merlin replies, and Merlin rolls his eyes, because of course even in love Merlin has to do Arthur's job for him.

Arthur you are clumsy with your feelings and how to express them even under a lovespell, but you still look extremely cute <3

You know what, this is the kind of scene that make me doubt that Merlin is bi and think he might actually be gay, and his short lived affair with Freya was more about compassion and the feeling of finally be with kin, people who understand him, that about attraction and romantic love.

"Flowers ?" "Excellent. Find some. Perhaps you should also send a note". "Brilliant idea". "Something moving. Something... from the heart. Something... You'll think of something".

Arthur relies so much on Merlin omg. I would say that this is because he's enchanted but I think I remember him making Merlin pick flowers to give Gwen in season 5.

OHMYGOD MERLIN THIS IS WHAT YOU WROTE TO GWEN ? You have strong Cyrano powers ! It never ends well. Gosh. And the flowers are in the colours of Gwen's favourite outfits : cream and light purple. Merlin, were you ever to court someone, you would have a VERY strong game. Anyone you would woo would fall under your charm instantly.

Intricate ritual : manhandle your servant as you talk about what you made him do to court the woman you are enchanted to be in love with. Touch him, grab him. And then talk about how beautiful that woman is.

Merlin you're finally picking up on something.

This is the face of someone who realised that :

A) There's something wrong happening with Arthur

B) He fucked up.

Two things to know about Merlin :

He never knocks.

He always has the lamest excuses for being somewhere and they usually involve vermin : moths, woodworms, and now rats.

I love seeing Gwen smile... Her life probably isn't easy, and it shows a nice attention like a bouquet of flowers can change someone's day for the better <3

Haha Merlin trying to get Gaius to help but he can't tell him the specifics because he can't reveal Arthur is actually in love with Gwen ! He's being a good friend.

One of my favourite lines ever from the show.

Help he's so insistent and into the food x)

He's so lucky Merlin arrived when he did! Poor Arthur, his feelings are hurt...

There is no straight explanation for this, Alined.

Arthur, you're cute. You need a hug.

"It might be worthwhile returning to your old love."

You know what, this is actually the first time I hear Merlin expressing doubts about Arthur's feelings for Gwen and their relationship.

Part 2 in another post, I can't add more pictures to this one.

#merlin rewatch #merlin #bbc merlin #arthur pendragon #lady vivian

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normalbrothers · 7 months

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we don't really see arthur have sex a great deal, much less with established female characters whose names we ever learn, and he tends to be quite rough there - it's not exactly like that with linda, but it's interesting, too, that we only see them fuck when their marriage is in the process of falling apart. what did their sex life look like when they were still gentle with each other?

of course, there's the scene where tatiana sexually assaults him, which he reacts to with physical arousal to his own horror (and then there's all that stuff with tommy's reaction on top)

what is striking is that there's something ambivalently sexual when he's violent otherwise: he looms, he gets handsy, he obviously gets off on the the fear he inspires (look at how he interacts with billy grade, as a male example)

there's also the way he treats linda when their relationship turns abusive (also the theme of linda trying to appease arthur with sex in s4, him assaulting her, kissing her despite her obvious fear and disgust (yet he calls it 'love-making'), linda telling tommy she will help arthur but not sleep with him in s6)

then the fact that he compares his gun to his cock to michael, (and how michael, a victim of csa, reacts to that is fascinating as well: pushing the barrel into his eye in the same way he later on does with hughes (the eye thing as its own theme too. etc))

his sexuality is something he is victimized by (the same traumatized agony he feels over his loss of control in general; where did it come from) but that victimizes others as well.

and whatever it is, it's complimentary to what's going on with tommy in that department (and i think that's the main point of it all - nobody has ever really talked about how both arthur and tommy are assigned different versions of the act of contrition, how the respective scenes are not comparable with each other in context and the positioning of the characters (hughes and tommy, linda and arthur), but that it's a deliberate and very suggestive foil!)

now i don't know where i'm going with this, but it's something that i'd love to see resolved one day

#unsubtly tries to tell you that it would be narratively satisfying for arthur to rape tommy. it just works on multiple thematic levels.#this isn't anything negative about arthur it really tickles me lol #also had some other thought but i forgot that one #rape /#i also think tommy would forgive him that. what we can't forgive our fathers we will forgive our brothers

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just-1other-nerd · 1 year

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Have you ever noticed that the most popular ships you can find for a fandom on tumblr are queer ones which aren't canon (at least yet)?

Here are a few examples:

- Merlin and Arthur from BBC's Merlin

- Steve and Eddie from Stranger Things

- Wednesday Addams and Enid from Wednesday

Here are my takes on them:

- Merthur had much more chemistry than Gwen and Arthur so like this show was already not accurate to the legends and historical events they could and should have taken it a step further. In my headcanon Arthur is bi and Merlin is either bi or gay

- I love both of them, I love their individual relationships with Dustin and I think they have chemistry, especially compared to Nancy x Steve (also not a fan of the Nancy-Steve-Jonathan love triangle). The concept of Eddie x Steve would be interesting and fun and funny. They could be such a good couple. In my headcanon Eddie is pan and Steve is bi. Btw in denial that Eddie is really dead.

- I think they have the best developed relationship of those in the show. They are a whole vibe. I liked Tyler as a love interest up until the monster reveal or the foreshadowing of it cause he seemed to get how to treat Wednesday well but I think Enid does too, a little different though and a bit more bumpy but she's more than just on her way. I don't like Xavier as a character I think he's a bit annoying and doesn't seem to understand that Wednesday isn't at all interested in him romantically. I also don't think the guy Enid has a crush on suits her, he is kinda boring and they don't really have chemistry. So that's why I ship them. In my headcanon both Wednesday and Enid are either pan or bi.

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katnissgirlsmakedo · 24 days

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and the thing is that i can’t really fuck with peter girls. i’m sorry there’s nothing wrong with peter being your favorite it’s just that it’s so basic. it’s the same as when people who like little women think the only one of the march sister who matters is jo… sorry these things are just incredibly firmly entrenched together in my mind i have never in my life viewed one without thinking of the other and it’s physically impossible for me to stop now. anyway i guess this is a point in favor of greta gerwig’s narnia because i liked how she did little women. but i still can’t think about it. what i meant earlier about jo is that i know jo is like. the main character but i don’t like when people then treat meg and amy and beth like they don’t matter. i especially cannot stand an anti amy bitch!! you’re not original!!!! and this is the difference between the 1994 and 2019 adaptations to me… people have said 2019 was too pro amy. wrong! 2019 was simply not anti amy the way 1994 was… the 2019 version put all four girls on equal footing. the 1994 version was incredibly jo centric… and i like both. i do. people don’t think that can be true and yet i exist!! anyway. being a peter girl is basic i’ll say it i don’t care. and while we’re bitching. comparing peter to king arthur is ridiculous and incorrect kill yourself. sorry i’m just trying to express the depth of my feelings. ok happy easter or whatever this is my easter movie. because it’s an easter movie not a christmas movie. stop the madness with that one fr

#peter’s nice but you can’t be serious saying he’s you FAVORITE. be interesting oh my god #and who’s MY favorite? you might think you know but you actually don’t. and wouldn’t you like to huh

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grimogretricks · 2 years

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Emotions, power, and repression in Victorian society

There is a popular conception that in Victorian times, everyone was intensely emotionally repressed in every way and that nobody ever spoke of mental health or considered feelings.

The instant you look into any book written in the era, you realise this is not only not true, but that characters will often be downright overflowing with earnest emotion to a degree that really stands out compared to the norms of today.

We can see this so well with Dracula- the characters are expressive and enthusiastic in the love and friendship they share with each other. Tumblr makes all those jokes about the 'polycule' because, genuinely, they openly show love and care on a constant basis for each other and openly affirm their bonds.

Moreover, rather than by default condemning and excising any kind of deviation from the manly and stoic in men, as well as allowing them to express positive emotions for each other, they're also able to express their stress and unhappiness in front of each other. For example, Arthur, breaking down in Seward's arms and then Van Helsing's, and the group's (if somewhat flawed) understanding of Jonathan's trauma, which has genuine sympathy and not condemnation in it.

More explicit attention is also given to the psychological impact things will have upon characters than is often common in works today! For example, even when Van Helsing is actually planning to involve Arthur in something incredibly traumatic, part of his reasoning for involving him is the believe it will help him, mentally, that it will be catharsis and closure.

Yet of course, there is another side to that! Characters feel pressure to maintain, still, an idealised image of themselves, and moreover, while showing negative emotion and strain is *allowed* it does actually impact what autonomy and participation that character is allowed.

Early in the novel, we do see, of course, how the pressure to put on a 'bold face' and live according to ideals relevant to their gender, does cause characters to suppress their feelings and pretend all is going better than it is, in part for the sake of others' feelings.

Arthur, despite his earlier breakdowns with the men, states he feels unable to give full expression to his emotions in the company of other men. Mina (and Lucy before her, and also Jonathan) meanwhile, downplays her own emotions in order to present a 'bold face' to the world and seems to think herself selfish if she focuses on herself.

And part of the reason for maintaining that facade is that while showing vulnerability is treated with sympathy, it is also a means of becoming disempowered, in a way, and left out of things.

Later in the novel, we see more of this. If more attention is also given to the psychological impact, it's also true that those who are seen as unable to bear that psychological impact lose something of their autonomy and standing in things.

Jonathan is unable to take part in things until he maintains composure and declares himself feeling better for knowing his trauma was based upon something real, and even Van Helsing's authority is, albeit briefly, called into question by Seward when he shows signs of 'hysteria'.

Not only is Mina shut out of things because it's wrongly believed that as a woman, she by default needs protected from the psychological impact upon her woman's heart, but she also feels, after this, a pressure to maintain a calm facade that all is well, lest they tell her even less and shut her out even more.

This is what leads to her becoming a victim to Dracula, because they have shut her out and broken the open communication between them and her, and treated her as less legitimately able to act. They disempowered her and this in fact left her open to Dracula's predation.

Meanwhile, as with Mina, Renfield's display of sanity and the legitimacy of his pleas are in part contingent upon him maintaining his 'gentlemanly' composure and the more that he slips into emotionality the less sane- and the less worthy of autonomy, he's seen as being too 'insane' to trust.

I think something that goes understated as a cultural aspect of the times which underpins a lot of this is the intense amount of paternalism to the middle and upper class Victorian culture - benevolent yet controlling, with surface air of caring, that yet will disempower and exclude people 'for their own good'.

Nowadays the notion that the older, more experienced person by default has the authority over the younger people and will have their attention and admiration, or that a qualified authority will by default be looked up to, has become so much less common, but you notice it a lot more in older works.

Van Helsing is of course, an absolute master of wielding the paternalistic authority being the elder, parental figure as well as a learned authority gives him, and I think that is a big part of why he actually gets the group to go along with what he's doing, whether that's going to Lucy's tomb or agreeing to exclude Mina from the group.

#dracula daily #dracula analysis #dracula #gender in Dracula #Mina Harker #Van Helsing #Renfield #Arthur Holmwood #victorian society

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derekscorner · 4 months

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Fated Rantings: Seiba Part 2

Zero Seiba, all Tragedy

For my second part of my Fate Zero rambling I decided to dedicate it too Saber herself because my first Seiba post was after the 2006 Fate Stay Night and mostly about her.

Am I obsessed? Yes, all jokes aside, I am to a degree because I grew up liking those king arthur legends. I knew very little as a child but I always loved a King Arthur or Robin Hood story.

And for reasons I won't fully reiterate I do find fascination (and humor) in how accurate Fate is to Arthurian legends despite gender bending the central figure himself.

Saber is very tragic due to these things. Lived as a man in an age that won't let women rule, chosen by a sword to be king, wielding another sword (alongside a holy spear and scabbard) that rendered her ageless, and raised on the idealism of the perfect king.

Her life was full of sacrifice and convoluted magic. When someone like Iskander says she was a "little girl who couldn't chase butterflies or fall in love" or when someone says she was a king who could not understand the hearts of men there is some truth to it.

In a lot of ways she was set up for failure from the start albeit not by intent.

Stark Differences

If you've read the first post then you're likely wondering what else I could say. If you haven't, here: Seiba Part One

I do not think you'll need it but if you're the type to see this and immediately try and draw me into "they treat that way cause WOMEN" then read it. It may not be to your standards but I explain my draw to this character well and my respect for her depiction. I also freely admit that I believe people project quickly at the cost of critical thought but that's a separate rant.

What is relevant here is how does Zero hurt or help how Saber is portrayed in Fate Stay Night... which is hard to answer because every fate work is it's own timeline. (including Fate/Zero)

When you watch Fate Zero you're seeing a slightly (or perhaps greatly) alternative take on the 4th Grail War that Saber mentions in Fate Stay Night.

Her own memories of the 4th Grail war aren't complete. Servants aren't supposed to remember things from one summoning to another either.

Even so I think Zero adds to her. It may be differing timelines but the character is the same at their core....I wonder how many I just pissed off by saying that.

While Fate Zero is praised it also has people who dislike her depiction within it. The Saber we see is very staunch about chivalry and honor and so on. To some this makes her seem overly idealistic compared to her other depictions.

It can even seem overly childish compared to her own past and how she used soldiers in warfare. I won't even disagree on that front, this Saber is idealistic.

But I think that is with intent. She was raised by and fell to the flawed idealism of mankind. Plus, I think that was to parallel her master Kiritsugu and his wife Irisviel.

They too were idealistic on what the grail could actually do and servants always have some form of parallel to their summoner. In FSN she parallels Shirou's heroic complex and sacrificial tendencies.

In Fate Zero she parallels Kiritsugu's flawed idealism.

Point A to B

If we're running on the assumption that FSN and Fate Zero had near identical events then I'd also argue that this depiction of her is meant to show how she got to her depiction in FSN.

Zero shows us how others such as Kirei, Gilgamesh, or Kiritsugu got to where they are. It only makes sense that this had similar effects on Saber who remembers some vague aspects of the 4th War.

In Fate Zero she tells her fellow kings that she wishes to save Britain but in FSN she wishes to undo the sword selection itself. In Fate Zero she a bit more laid back compared to her serious to business take in FSN.

Even if she doesn't fully remember that 4th War it scarred her like the others. The idea that she was a bad king and other negative ideals started to internalize somewhat. Now, we all know there's only some truth in those statements but what we know vs what she believes is different.

I am not saying Fate Zero did it well but I am arguing that this may have been the intention. Her acceptance and growth in FSN's Fate Route benefits from it I'd argue.

It's not necessary since FSN can be read/watched as is but I do appreciate the attempt. I do not consider Saber naive but I do think she was made into a king based on naive ideals.

A King that doesn't know mens Hearts

Another line that I've seen some disdain for. I do not fully agree with it either but there is something to be said for the few times there's some truth in the statement.

The show makes Lancelot the pinpoint of that negative thought process but I feel that's where the other fans get offended. Yes, she didn't fully understand her knights or people but that's more to do with her denying herself her own humanity throughout life.

When I see that fight I saw no confusion on Lancelot's part. He fully understood Arthur, his issue was that he couldn't handle that truth. He deserved the punishment that Guinevere was given in his mind.

Arthur was a perfect king for a horribly imperfect people.

No, the moment the show highlights truth in that line is with Kiritsugu. They never got along and after episode 16 I did not think that highly of him either. He did things so dirty in that episode that I had a visibly disgusted reaction, I can only imagine what she felt as he ruined a fight between two true knights.

She could never understand her master and that was the recipe for ruin from the start. She said it herself in the finale how could "she ever understand a man through three command spells"

The Banquet of Kings

I can't end this without mentioning the infamous Banquet of Kings. The start of Saber's spiral into self doubt.

There's a lot of talk about this scene, the good and ills of it, I wrote a lot about it when talking about Iskander in the previous post. That's not a plug like the first link, it's just a scene with that much to discuss.

For Saber specifically, this was a banquet with demeaning outcomes. Her role as a king was discarded quiet harshly albeit for two differing reasons.

For Gilgamesh she is just a fool. To him she becomes an interesting toy to objectify and own, all the negatives that people get from that talk come from him. That is within his character though, I do not say that as an excuse but because there's no other outcome.

For Gilgamesh to even respect Iskandar as a king/conqueror by the end of Zero is more than I actually expected of him. In his mind he IS the king and anyone else is a joke.

Iskandar was a bit more nuanced. He never disrespected Saber for being female nor as a warrior. She does lose his respect as a fellow king but only after he hears her wish. To him, it's an insult to all those that served her to undo their work and sacrifices.

He also, correctly, identifies her as someone raised trapped in ideals that didn't get a chance to be a person. He words it as "a little girl that didn't get to chase butterflies or fall in love" but the thing he finds sad about her is that lack of choice period.

Ultimately, there is one other key factor that the two actually agree on. Although they differ on why a king stands above other men they do at least agree that they do so.

Saber, in contrast, has a less archaic view that kings serve the people. Now is this wrong? That's hard to say since I'm from an age where monarchy is largely dead.

However, I do think Iskandar is right to the extent that kings inspire. They don't always lead or inspire for good reasons but there is a core logic of a leader present.

I also agree that the lack of childhood or basic human wants hurt her reign. You can make all the jokes you want about a 35yr old woman acting childish in FSN or Ataraxia, that makes sense to me and, it's something she needed more of.

If she had more of that core human experience earlier she may have been able to lead Camelot to a less tragic end. If nothing else, perhaps more of the ones that should've understood her would've.

One of the better retroactive connections here is her accepting things in FSN's Fate Route. She no longer desires to undo it all finding value in her and her comrades efforts. Something that only comes from the normalcy she gains from living with Shirou.

Conclusions?

All in all what I mean to say is that I appreciated her depiction in Zero. It's not flawless but I do see some of the things reflected in her original depiction. I see the attempt to explain some of it.

More than anything else, it helps me appreciate more her growth in FSN's story. All she really needed was someone to let her be a person rather than an ideal king or weapon. (like kiritsugu)

I have no deeper meaning, I just wanted to ramble and discuss the banquet scene. Also, no, I did not forget the amazing Iri & Saber dynamic. I just do not know what to say.

It was wholesome, Saber rocks a suit, and never let Iri drive. Goodnight everybody!

=====================

For my other experiences with Fate go here: https://derekscorner.tumblr.com/tagged/fated-rantings

#fate zero #fate stay night #fate series #fated rantings #fate saber #artoria pendragon

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lacrymatoryao3 · 7 months

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Redemption Was Just The Beginning

Chapter 4: Three Months Later: December, 1899

[1][2][3]

To the world, Arthur Morgan is dead. As he tries to face the idea, in a lush valley in Ambarino he comes face to face with a woman from his past, and they must reckon with an era long gone. Especially when she has secrets of her own.

(Rated explicit simply because eventually there’s smut in this.)

Tag: @photo1030

5,540 Words (AO3 Link)

Arthur awoke as the dawn began to break. He didn’t get up right away, lying in bed and finding comfort in the warmth of his covers and in the room compared to what he saw outside his windows. Once the winter came it seemed to never stop snowing for very long. The mountains were hard to make out, blanketed in white against the clouded sky. The mostly fur trees cascading down the land were so heavy with it the branches bent and sometimes it would slide off in sheets to the deep, icy ground. When the wind came through there was nothing but a freezing fog.

It made him think about those cold days and nights trapped within those dilapidated log buildings in Colter.

Arthur had to admit, as he was taking care of himself for the morning, there were some things about ‘normal’ life he was taking to easier than he had expected. He enjoyed having a bed instead of an old cot, having walls around him and a roof over his head once his instincts finally came to realize he was safe within. He now had a routine once Dr. Anderson deemed he was well enough to do so.

Still, his old life lingered in him. Fighting him.

Arthur shaved, mostly to please Ana, focusing more on the task than the man that was reflected back to him. He doubted she was up and around yet, but if she was she would comment about the things he usually muttered to himself. He applied a small amount of an aftershave she had bought for him. It had an expensive smell, though it probably wasn’t the case for the kind of town he was in, like a bunch of different herbs mixed with citrus fruit.

He put a bundle of plants into his mouth to chew, something to keep his teeth and mouth clean. She made the boy do the same. He slipped out of his night clothes and washed himself up as he worked the taste out of them. He opened his window and spit out them out, closing it it quickly to prevent the chill from entering.

He went to his dresser, looking at all the new things Ana had gotten him to decide what to wear. Even after so many years apart from him, she still remembered the kind of things he liked. She had picked out the same style of button down shirt in different colors and patterns, a few pairs of dark denim pants, and a couple of sets of buckled suspenders, socks, more union suits for the weather.

He simply threw on the first things his rough and calloused hands touched. She bought him more things to wear than he expected. Had he been able to go with her to the general store she would have treated him like a dress up doll. He was never one to care about fashion, but when he put himself together it made Ana happy. Which as nice, he supposed. In a way it was, having someone around who cared about him. She wasn’t as aggressive as Susan Grimshaw was, the poor woman, but she was about as bossy if she needed to be. Always was.

Hanging on hooks next to the door were three coats. For summer, which felt like an eternity off, there was short navy blue canvas coat. For spring and autumn a black knee length cotton duster. For the winter which everyone in Cain Valley was suffering with a chocolate brown sheepskin leather jacket lined with with cream colored wool. Draped over it was a scarf and in its pockets a pair of black deerskin gloves.

Arthur bundled himself up, putting a new hat on his head. It didn’t look much different from his old one that he gave to John, except it was made of fabric instead of leather and there was a fine silk ribbon around it rather than an old haphazardly tied rope. He carefully left his room, finding the kitchen dark and empty. He slipped out the back door, trudging through the frozen mounds and enduring the biting northern air to a roofed space with walls made out of piled of short logs. He picked up the old axe that leaned against a tree stump in the middle of them, gathering enough logs that would make a suitable amount of firewood. He placed a log on the stump, hauling the axe over his shoulder and chopping in in two with a single heavy motion. At first he needed rests between, but after a few weeks his muscle memory kicked in once he became accustomed to the monotonous chore again.

For a moment, it was like Arthur was with the gang again. Doing what he usually did when he was around, as everyone half alert wandered around him for a cup of coffee and Pearson’s leftover stew from the day before.

He carried the wood to the kitchen porch, dropping it into a rack. Returning inside the lights were on. Ana was at the stove, with a serious expression on her face at first that brightened when she looked at him.

“Good morning!” She said cheerfully, taking a ladle and pouring the hot type off coffee people liked to drink in Mexico made with spices and a cone of unrefined cane sugar from a clay pot into a matching clay mug. She placed it on the table for him.

“Mornin’ Anie.” Arthur replied, sitting at his place at the table. He took a sip from the mug. It had a flavor he found overwhelming the first few times he drank it, but now he enjoyed the taste of the sweetness and cinnamon that mingled with the cloves and a thing called anise.

He watched Ana check if the frying pan was hot, cracking eggs into it. As they cooked she prepared other things. On the plates she laid down warmed corn tortillas, spreading refried beans onto them. The fried eggs went on top before being smothered in a chunky red sauce made from tomatoes, onions, and chilies.

The smell brought Ana’s son trudging down the stairs. He scratched his head still tried and sat across from Arthur, not really noticing he was there at first. Once he did his posture changed, suddenly shy and looking cautiously at him. Arthur noticed he did that a lot around him. Arthur studied him every time, just as the boy was doing to him. His face didn’t have Ana’s features. He didn’t know what her husband looked like, but there was something oddly familiar about them. There was something in them that brought up a long, bottled up memory back to the surface. Then there was his eyes again. Not just their color, but the way they scanned him and took note of everything about the stranger in front of him.

“Hey there buddy!” Arthur said as gently as his drawl could, a tone he often did with Jack, “I don’t think we’ve really been introduced yet, have we?”

Ana set the plates on the table and sat between them. She shifted in her seat nervously, taking a deep breath, “You’re right! I’m so sorry I should have thought about that sooner!”

She reached over to the boy and rested her hand on his shoulder, “My son, this is Señor Callahan…”

Ana paused and looked at Arthur to make sure she chose the right alias she had discussed with him. He nodded and she went on, “He is going to be staying with us a while, okay?”

“Hello, sir.” The boy said softly.

Ana smiled and everyone began to eat, “I think you two will get along fine once you get used to each other. You probably have a lot in common! You both like animals, especially horses, hunting, fishing, shooting.”

“Outdoors-y kid, huh?” Arthur said.

“Oh yes! If I can keep him in here for more than 10 minutes I consider it a miracle.”

Ana was the one who mostly led the breakfast conversation. Mostly to distract herself from the myriad of thoughts in her head. She considered asking him if he remembered. At least, if his were the same as hers. She quickly answered that question: no, probably not.

She thought about the past a lot when she alone. Sixteen years old, fleeing into a country she never had been to and barely knowing the language. The night she met Dutch Van der Linde, a man she had after the years still respected. Though after what Arthur had shared, she felt he was no longer worthy of it. He saw her for what she was then, a girl all alone doing desperately what she knew to survive. Looking back it didn’t seem like an accident. Both of them targeting a drunk and fat rich man stumbling through the California city they wandered into, him agreeing to split whatever the fool had after she knocked him out with one punch. Was he really aiming for her? After all, he had a habit of taking the vulnerable under his wing, winning them over with his idealistic charisma. He bought her a meal. He offered a bed, safety, a community. All that silver tongue of his that dripped like a rattlesnake with venom, with the tone of a snake oil salesman peddling questionable cures of the street, did was take her from one gang into another. The cycle was exactly the same.

It wasn’t all bad. When she had met Arthur he was also young, still with a boyish face despite the rest of him being a broad and burly man. He wasn’t one to easily warm up to strangers, like her own son. He was wary of her, to the point of standoffish. He had always been watching her, scrutinizing her every move to learn what kind of person she was. It took months for him to hold a conversation with her. It took longer for him to trust her enough to work with him.

The night she left she considered it the last time they’d cross paths. Then like a miracle he was brought to her, on the verge of expiring. As he improved over the months she looked to see how much had had changed. It was hard to do at first. She had been so focused on him gaining weight, getting those nasty bruises to fade, getting his breathing back to normal. He did seem calmer, jaded by his old life, instead of the thrill seeking man he was when she ran with the Van der Lindes. Lord… When a robbery was a successful he turned into such a beast. Not in a bad way, as she could recall. There were times she would replay the night after he, Dutch, and Hosea had committed their first bank heist when she was comfortable in her bed.

The introspective sadness within him had now become his norm. It was there previously. She saw it after Mary chose her father’s wishes rather than her own, when they collectively mourned Hosea’s wife Bessie when she died, again after the murder of Dutch’s girl Annabelle, and the tipping point when he found out the fate of Eliza and that little boy she had with Arthur… Isaac, she thought he was called. It had started to become too much. Made him weary.

It wasn’t something she couldn’t feel in herself. He had been there when her brother’s men, ones he stole and corrupted when their father was hanged, had finally found her. He watched her slaughter them, men she once knew and trusted as an innocent child. He witnessed her come face to face with Fernando, planting a bullet between his eyes. An unforgivable sin… Murdering a sibling.

They were never completely different. They were both broken people. She just was the one with sheer dumb luck. Her loyalty was to herself and conditional to all others. He never would have gone willingly. Not for Mary, not for his son, not for her if her he knew what she was hiding from him for the time being.

The boy left for school as Arthur helped Ana clean up. The troubled face Ana had earlier returned. She took a deep breath, “Your death has reached out paper.”

“Did it now?” Arthur draped the dish rag over the sink and picked up the Cain Valley Review that was on the table. He looked at the article. It was on the front page, but not the top headline. Seeing the title ‘ARTHUR MORGAN, OTHER MEMBERS OF VAN DER LINDE GANG, BELIEVED DEAD’ made one of the corners of Arthur’s mouth twitched, his voice was low, “So it is…’

“You are, officially, dead.” Ana said softly, oddly sad to say it out loud, “Good thing you’re using a different name. At least for a few years, until people forget.”

Arthur put the paper down and started slowly scratching at his cheek, wishing he had a damn cigarette, “They ain’t gonna really forget me. There’ll always be people lookin’ for me, no matter what is said. Especially if they wanted my head.”

It hit him like a slap across the face. He knew it was happening when Blackwater failed. That life was all over. He thought he’d be happier about it, like he imagined. The world was changing… It didn’t want men like him any longer. Instead it left an empty feeling in him, like he didn’t want it after so many years of badly looking for a way to have it. Maybe because it wasn’t completely on his own accord. Too much business was left unfinished.

Ana took one of his hands, covering it with hers, “It’s not easy. You will mourn yourself, and there will be times you don’t think you can adjust. Trust me, for a couple of years it was almost unbearable for me… But I know you, Arthur. If anyone can do this, it’s you. You are one of the most adaptable men in this world. Of all the things you’ve managed to survive, you can get through this.”

“I guess…”

They wished each other a good day. Ana watched Arthur from the window making his way to the stables. She wished she could have held him.

In front of the large barn doors there was a man with fiery red hair underneath a green plaid flat cap clearing away the snow to get them to open all the way.

“Mornin’ to ya, Mr. Callahan!” O’Hogan greeted loudly in a thick Irish lilt, “Just in time!”

“Mornin’, Mr. O’Hogan.” Arthur replied while being handed a second shovel, getting to work.

O’Hogan made a dismissive wave, “Call me Owen. What’s yer name, anyway?”

“Arthur.”

That made O’Hogan laugh, “Really now? Like Mrs. Gardener’s boy!”

Arthur blinked, then he sighed and shook his head, “Oh yeah?”

“Around here all the time, he is. Hands on learner, and a fast one fer a 10 year old. Not wonder he hates sittin’ at a school desk.”

10… I swear Ana told me he was 9…

After a couple of hours they finally went inside. The stables were bigger that it looked on the outside. The stalls were large, roomy and very clean for the horses who stuck their heads out over the gates to peer at who arrived. Arthur was in awe of the amount it held. Every stall had a horse in it mostly, save for the ones the children took to school. They were segregated by their use, on one side the horses the stage coaches used that were cycled in and out, the other the personal horses. The coach horses were big and hardy breeds, ranging from the usual Belgians, Shires, and Suffolks. A couple were Cobs. The horses that belonged to the compound were branded with a diamond with a G inside. They were all fine breeds. Ana always had an eye for the pretty horses, Dutch Warmbloods, Hungarian Half-breds, Missouri Fox Trotters, Mustangs, Norfolk Roadsters, Thoroughbreds.

Arthur approached the familiar Dalmatian Appaloosa, “Hey there, boy.”

Enrique sniffed at his hand, lowering his head to let him pet him between the eyes. It sent Arthur back to when Ana obtained him. He was so angry. Horse theft an offense punishable by hanging, the gang had bigger plans than that. At one point.

“Yeah…” Arthur whispered, “Gettin’ old. Ain’t we all?”

Surrounding the heating stoves in the middle of the stable aisle were buckets upon buckets of warmed melted snow. Arthur and O’Hogan used them to fill the troughs in the stalls. They hauled in bundles of hay and buckets with special grains for feed. When the horses had their fill the stage coach arrived. The two men led out fresh drafts and replaced the ones running for hours, covered in sweat from their hard work. They dried them and brushed them, putting warming blankets on their backs. They checked their hooves and put them in the newly vacant stalls, refreshing their feed.

“So, hear you’re havin’ a baby soon.” Arthur said.

“Number six! Should be here any day after that new year! Hopin’ fer another girl ta even it out!”

The new year… 1900. Damn…

“Six?!” Arthur cried, “How the hell do you fit all them in that house of yours?”

“Boys share a room. Girls share a room. The wife an’ I have our own. Lot easier now, that our oldest Mary Bridget is 15. Gotta get her prepared, ya know? Besides, we came from large families. My ma had 10. My Rosaline was one out o’ 12!” O’Hogan explained, “What about ya, Arthur? Ya have any kids?”

Arthur went quiet for a moment, “Once. He and his mama died some years back.”

“Sorry ta hear that.” O’Hogan patted him hard against the back, “Always rough.”

The least pleasant responsibility dealing with horses was shoveling their shit. With as many as Ana kept, there was a perpetual stream of it, and a lot of it at that. They were constantly hauling out wheelbarrows of it to go inside a large covered chest. Farmers loved the stuff, apparently. O’Hogan told Arthur once the planting season came all of them around the town would stop by. They raked plenty of money from it.

During lunch Arthur and O’Hogan sat on the floor in front of stove.

“So how’d you get into all this, Mr. O’Hogan?” Arthur asked.

“Always did it. Started out with them English bastards with their fancy estates in ta Irish countryside,” O’Hogan said, “Got tired o’ ‘em. Came here ta find they like us about the same as ‘em. Mrs. Gardener was the only advert fer a job that didn’t say ‘IRISH NEED NOT APPLY’. Here I am, better fer it.”

A few of the personal horses needed their hooves trimmed and shoes replaced as the task near the end of the day. They split the four, Arthur first grabbing the halter of a Tiger Striped Bay Mustang. It came back to him how to do it instantly. He bent one of the horse’s legs between his thighs, removing the old shoe and nails before cleaning the hoof with a knife that had a bent tip stroking it downwards. The knife also worked to trim the frog overgrowth away from the sole. The large nippers came next, taking excess off the outer hoof. He filed the rough edges down, trimming the sole a bit before brushing it and feeling it. He repeated with the other hooves, moving onto re-shoeing them with a fresh batch Mr. Johnson had made the day before. He lined the shoe up, they were well crafted and heavy, tapping the nails carefully into the hooves.

He took another, O’Hogan taking the last. It was amazing how good the disposition was on the horses, even the wild caught ones. The training they went through was rigorous, with expertise that the rich often only enjoyed.

The stable doors opened and the group of children came in on their horses after the school day ended. They were led by Ana’s son on his own Paint. The others were on smaller, shared Morgans. The three of Liang’s were piled at the front and back, the oldest girl at the saddle and reins. O’Hogan’s two school aged children had the boy in front, the girl sitting modestly behind him. The two boys of Johnson’s holding onto each other on theirs. O’Hogan and Arthur greeted the children and took the horses before they ran off to their homes. The only one who took care of his own was Ana’s son, who quietly dismounted and led Josefina to her stall. He took the harness and saddle off himself, carrying it to the storage outside her gate. He went into his pocket and took out the boiled egg he saved from his lunch, cutting it in half to share with his horse while he brushed her and blanketed her.

“Mr. Callahan!” The boy called out to Arthur with his books and lunch tin in his hands, “Mama wanted me to let you know she would like you to bring Enrique and whatever horse you’d like to the house. She needs to bring you into town for help with something.”

“All right.” Arthur answered, “Thanks for lettin’ me know, uh, Arthur.”

The boy ran out. Arthur wiped sweat from his forehead, trying to make sense of the small details he learned about him. He gave up for the moment, focusing on what was at hand. He got Enrique ready, then studied the horses.

“I know just the one!” Mr. O’Hogan shouted to him, leading a white and gray brindle coat Thoroughbred mare out of her stall, “This little lady here is called Delfina! Think she’ll suit ya very nicely.”

Arthur’s eye brightened in a gleeful delight. Delfina was a large and proud horse, a refined creature with a well chiseled body for her athletic nature especially for racing. He patted her on the neck and whispered to her, calling her a ‘fine girl’. Her spirited-ness came out as she nuzzled his pockets looking for treats, huffing when she couldn’t sense any. She was tolerant being tacked and saddled. It took him a couple of tries, which was embarrassing for him, to hoist himself onto her. He adjusted himself a bit, getting re-accustomed to it after so long by his standards.

He wrapped Enrique’s reins around the saddle horn, leading him as he learned to handle Delfina to the house. Ana waited for him on the porch with something hanging in her hand, that old gun belt Hosea had given her around her waist over her tweed coat holstering the same pilfered Schofield revolver and the knife that came from Mexico with her.

She stepped down to him, exchanging what she was holding for Enrique’s reins, “I have something for you. All I ask is you don’t wear it in the house and keep it away from my son without supervision.”

He looked it over, a gun belt with its weapons still attached. It was a thick and heavy thing, elaborately tooled into the black leather to have flowers and leaves all interconnecting with long vines. Among them on the holster was something written in Spanish in flowing, commanding lettering.

‘QUIEN CON LA ESPERANZA VIVE ALEGRE MUERE’.

Arthur buckled it around his hips, “What the hell’s that mean?”

“One who lives with hope dies happily.”

“I take it this was your daddy’s then.” Arthur pulled out the weapons, inspecting them.

“Of course. My Tia managed to recover it when they hanged him. Better someone use it than sit in a box in my wardrobe. I’ve maintained them, but couldn’t bring myself to wear it.”

They were old, but still in good condition. The handgun was a long barreled Volcanic pistol. The handle was a polished turquoise, inlaid in the stone was a motif of a skull and a rose tangled together with thorny stems. The blackened metal was engraved with a baroque style showing the silver underneath. The knife was customized the same. It had a long and wide blade, despite a few nicks it was still razor sharp.

Ana watched him with an amused smirk, “Looks nice.”

Cain Valley had a similar layout to Strawberry as Arthur followed Ana. The only difference was an actual bank and more houses branching out from the bricked main road on side streets. It wasn’t a dry town either. The saloon had the biggest sign, touting itself as the first business in the area since 1856. It was a busy place for being so remote, especially for the season. He saw many confused visitors carrying supplies for winter sports, Ana stopping and giving them directions. That must have been the biggest draw. The place was too well settled for just mining, or logging, or agriculture.

Ana had a name for herself, like the unofficial queen of the town. Every local knew her, greeted her. It was no different at the gunsmith when they walked in. She flipped through the catalog, Arthur perusing the displays.

“What would you recommend for a hunting rifle?” Ana asked.

“It depends on what you want to hunt, Mrs. Gardener.”

Ana nodded, “Something for medium to large game, but good for a beginner. This is going to be the big gift for my son for Christmas.”

The gunsmith left the counter and gathered three rifle models from their displays, apologizing to Arthur when he unintentionally bumped into him as he looked at the repeaters. He set them in front of Ana. The rifles he offered were a Springfield, a Rolling Block, and a Carcano. The Rolling Block and Carcano included scopes, good for long ranges. The gunsmith explained the advantages, drawbacks, and powers of the weapons. Ana picked them up and handled them, carefully considering the best one.

Arthur noticed the subtle changes in her when she held them. She was no stranger to rifles. She was no stranger to any weapon that could harm and kill. That angry, violence searching girl was still in there. He had a flashback to the time when she fully showed it to him. A bounty hunter had tracked them, after a high value robbery. She had thrown her knife into his groin. As he screamed in agony rushed to the shotgun he dropped, using the bullet meant for Dutch to blow off hunter’s head in a scarlet spray and emptying the rest of its ammunition into the limp body.

“I think I’ll take the Carcano.”

“Good choice, Mrs. Gardener. I’m sure little Arthur will love it. Want extra ammo on top of it?”

“Of course, thank you. Can you box it up? I don’t want him seeing it.”

The gunsmith hoisted a nondescript carrying case from under the counter, laying the gun and ammo inside and closing it. Ana paid for it in full. When it was Arthur’s turn he bought an Evans repeater with a few extras. He attached a strap onto it, slinging it over his shoulder to take out.

The ride back was silent after Ana secured the rifle case to the back of Enrique with rope. Arthur kept it to himself at first, until it threatened to boil over.

“Arthur, huh?” He muttered.

“Hm?” It didn’t register with her.

“That’s the name of your boy.”

Ana nodded, still not getting what he was trying to imply, “It is, yes. Arthur Francisco.”

Arthur sighed heavily, “You told me he was nine. Everyone else is sayin’ he’s 10.”

“Did I?” The tone in her voice was puzzled, but he couldn’t tell if it was genuine or the one she would use when purposefully being evasive, “He’s 10. His birthday was a few days before you came. Why?”

They were too close to home for Arthur to push it, “Just tryin’ to figure it all out is all.”

The house smelled of the dinner Ana had left to finish before she left. A meat stew made with fatty beef called Birria. Arthur observed Ana’s, Arthur Francisco, as they enjoyed it. He often would scoop spoonfuls of it into one of the tortillas, folding it and eating it.

He couldn’t take it anymore. He had to start getting the boy to talk to him.

“How was school, Arthur?” He spoke up, feeling strange addressing the child with his own name. He has met others before with it, but it still felt different.

Arthur Francisco swallowed before he replied, “Fine. We learned more arithmetic today. Miss Svensson drew a star in my book for it.”

“That means you’re good at it then!” Arthur commented, “Hey… If you got four apples and I gave you three apples, how many you got now?”

“Seven.”

“Right! Clever!”

Ana smile and joined in, “And there was no problems with the Millers today?”

Arthur Francisco explained while preparing another tortilla, “Weren’t there today. Haven’t been all week. No one knows why. Not that anyone wants to know, since no one really likes them.”

Everyone joined in the cleaning up. Arthur kept going with the boy to get him to open up, even as they moved from the kitchen to the living room and up until it was his bedtime. Arthur Francisco wished Arthur a good night before following his mother up the stairs.

Left alone Arthur sat down at the secretary desk, pulling his journal out of his pocket. As he opened it he became distracted the windowed cabinet. Inside where many other ledgers and a few business related papers. Slipped into the corners where the glass met the wood were cabinet card photographs. He took them and studied them. One of them was a younger Ana, sitting with a spindly looking man dressed like those Bohemian dandies that wandered around Saint Denis. He looked at least twice her age, and he didn’t resemble her son much either. On her lap was a toddler who was probably no more than 3. He flipped the picture. Written on the back was ‘Mr. and Mrs. Jacob M. Gardener with son. 1892’.

“That was your husband?!” Arthur blurted out in surprise, as Ana returned and passed him to go to her chair.

“He did the job.” Ana said plainly, “He had money. He had land. He died not long after we were married. I inherited everything as his only next of kin, with the provision my son takes it over when he’s an adult.”

Arthur was struck by the lack of affection in her voice. It only gave him more questions about it. He put the photo back, moving on to the others. The next ones he had a slight recollection of. Mostly because he was in them. It had been Ana’s idea to do them those years ago. They made a decent sum going after a train and she had convinced him it would be fun. One was just of him, mounted on that prized horse of his Boadicea with a cigarette hanging from his lips and a rifle propped up on his shoulder. That one said on the back in Ana’s writing ‘Mi queridísimo – 1888’. The companion to it was of both of them. Ana sitting in her traditional Mexican dress, her hair loose down her back. Arthur was behind her, one of his feet resting on the same crate and his hands hanging off his thigh. That one was ‘Arthur y yo – 1888’.

He took a pencil on the desk and started scribbling down his thoughts from the day.

I am dead. I guess not many men can experience their own deaths. I had always thought about it. What it would be like. I understood it as nothingness. No doubts. No fears. Yet, I’m still here and the unknown of that scares me. I don’t know if I can manage living this way. There’s no relief in it like I hoped. I’m not alone in it, I know that. Annie had done it. She’s certain I can, but I’m just not convinced. She seems to do it well. Makes it look too easy despite once being a prized heir of her daddy’s revolutionary gang down there in Mexico, who got her wings clipped as soon as she posed a threat to that brother of hers. She won. She made it. Can I really do it? Death might have been easier. I deserved that path for being the awful brute I am. I’m a bad man, I shouldn’t pretend to be anything else. I still don’t believe in a God or a Devil. Maybe I should after all this bullshit. If there was I would unquestionably earned the burning.

On the opposite page he did what he knew best to get the nervous energy out: he drew. He sketched out his intended grave on that beautiful spot near the Wapiti reservation, that nice cross Charles had created with his own two hands. He wrote underneath it:

Does anyone except Charles know where it is? Did anyone else go there by now? Would they even mourn me?

He moved on to his next sentiment.

There’s something about Annie’s son. There’s something she’s not telling me about him. I don’t think even he knows. I hope it isn’t what I think it is.

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