#and can't help but feel silly about it

[royalarchivist]

I say this in the kindest way possible, but I think this style of prose is more appropriate for a personal account rather than an update account. I have no idea who's being talked about half the time. 🥲

[ Tumblr meme via @mikaikaika ]

#QSMP #Philza #Edited #Phil #Let me know if this needs an additional tag #I don't think this necessitates a discourse or neg tag or whatever because I'm being silly but I'm happy to add one if folks need it #I won't post this one on Twitter I don't think because I genuinely don't want to hurt anyone's feelings #but. I feel very strongly about this. It's not helpful #I say this as a fan and as a professional writer (who also worked in the Marketing and Communications field for far too long) #The prose is nice! It's very whimsical and they're having fun! But I don't think it's appropriate for an updates account #I recently turned off notifications for QsmpEN and I'm considering muting them because half the updates just aren't helpful to me #I want to be able to speed read through the update thread I don't want to spend an additional 30 seconds trying to decipher who's who #I don't like posting complaints so I tried to make it a funny complaint #because I do think feedback is good! And I know I'm not the only one who feels this way #but at the same time: these update writers ARE volunteers #(As a side note -- I personally think anyone running a large social media account should be paid) #(I did that for a few years and it was hell. I can't imagine doing that and NOT getting paid for it) #But anyways #They're all volunteers so I don't actually wanna go all pitchforks and torches on them (which I wouldn't do anyways even if they WERE paid) #I'm just venting my frustrations in what is (hopefully) a funny way #but you're welcome to disagree! That's ok too #Portfolio

[scificrows]

The Roombabot Diaries

"Even without full scan function, I still had my dark vision filters and my own mapping data, so with the fixed point of the corridor hatch, I could retrace my steps to the ramp. It just looked awkward and stupid because for the first part I had to navigate like a floor-cleaning bot." - Martha Wells, System Collapse (Video and audio description below the cut)

VIDEO ID:

An animated video of Murderbot, in a full environmental suit (featuring a little 'Perihelion' logo on its chest and an opaque helmet).

Murderbot is wandering around a dark space, the sound of its footsteps on the stone floor are audible. It walks in a straight line to the right until it hits a pillar with an audible 'thunk' noise and stops. A grumpy smiley face appears next to it.

It recalibrates, making little chirping calibrating sounds, then turns and moves towards the viewer until it seems to hit the camera (again with a 'thunk' noise and a little frowny smiley face next to it) and recalibrates again.

It turns its back to the viewer and starts walking again, this time seemingly hitting the wall in the back. It recalibrates again, then turns to the right and starts walking again. After a few seconds it stops briefly, two exclamation marks appear next to it along with a beeping noise, then it quickly walks out of frame.

#listen i know this is not really what happened in this scene but like. #all i could think about when i was reading this was murderbot moving around like a roomba #figuring out the layout of the space by bumping into things and changing its direction with every collision #and the mental image was so funny to me #i don't actually know how to animate i literally downloaded the software a few weeks ago for another silly mb video (which is unfinished) #this is my second attempt with the software and like. it's FUN!! but i also don't know what i'm doing help #also PLEASE i can't draw please don't @ me about the anatomy #i'm trying to tell myself that the environmental suit is just. very weird hjsdfkdjkhdfjh #anyWAYS #the murderbot diaries #murderbot #system collapse #system collapse spoilers #sc spoilers #video #𓄿 #also. i really wanted to add the humans following mb in a row like little ducklings and almost crashing into it when it crashes into things #but then i would have had to animate 3 additional sets of walk cycles and it would have gotten to complicated and crowded sdfhjdksf #but. yeah. feel free to imagine they are there

[total-drama-brainrot]

TD World Tour AU, where Noah doesn't tell Owen that Alejandro is an eel in London... In Area 51, Noah is accidentally splashed with an alien truth potion (which wears off after a few days) and he talks to Owen... Owen asks Noah what he truly thinks about Alejandro, and Truth-Potion Affected Noah says this: "I have mixed feelings for Alejandro. He's a brilliant, interesting guy and I like him, but I don't trust him. He's like a slippery eel dipped in grease, swimming in motor oil. Basically, Heather with social skills. Wait a minute, why am I telling you this?!"... What if Alejandro secretly heard Noah call him all those conflicting things + Alejandro also learns that Noah is affected with an alien truth potion? 👽

Alright, you got me. I'm an absolute sucker for truth potion plots, especially when the character(s) effected by them are usually either pathological liars or incredibly secretive- of which Noah absolutely falls into the second category, given he shares so little personal information.

I'll gloss over why Noah declined to shit-talk Alejandro in London (though there's so many ways this change in behaviour could be justified) since the focal point of this hypothetical centred around their time in Nevada, so let's start from the beginning of the Area 51 challenge.

Area 51:

Before we start, it'll have to be established that no one was eliminated in London. Let's say that the majority vote went towards Duncan (team CIRRRRH voted him out immediately because they found his re-admission to the competition unfair, I guess. I imagine he'd also vote himself, if not as a plan to escape the competition he'd been actively skiving from, then just as an act of spite) but Chris instead claimed it was a rewards challenge- much like he does in Greece- because he doesn't want to let Duncan slip away again so soon.

I see no reason to alter the first part of the challenge- the sneaking into Area 51 portion- since team CIRRRRH's course of entry is fairly straightforward. Noah's presence doesn't make much of a difference to how it would play out; the majority of them throw their rocks and run, Owen gets lasered over the fence and Owen-napped, ect ect.

When both teams have managed to make their way into the Black Box Warehouse, Noah immediately suggests they should prioritise rescuing Owen. Tyler's quick to agree, since he's a firm believer in the "no man left behind" mentality (and he probably makes a not-so-subtle jab towards Noah for his chance of tune compared to London, where both he and Owen did leave Tyler behind) leaving Duncan and Alejandro to split from the group- Duncan in search of Gwen, and Alejandro just takes the opportunity to finally be free from his 'incompetent teammates' and prioritises finding an artifact.

Noah and Tyler come across the contraption Owen's trapped in, Tyler punches it in a futile effort to break it open, and the face hugger cube drops into Noah's hands. This is where the point of divergence comes into play; Tyler has his E.T. moment with one of the face huggers, but Noah- who's a tad bit more observant than Alejandro, and used to dodging surprise attacks from his various older siblings (and Izzy)- anticipates his own face hugger attack and promptly starts a game of cat-and-mouse with a taser alien hot on his heels.

The commotion of which attracts the rest of his team. Alejandro and Duncan arrive on the scene to see Tyler being electrocuted by an alien and Noah running in circles evading another.

Duncan attempts to rip the face hugger from Tyler's face, finding success at the cost of sending Tyler trampling into Owen's captive contraption (essentially taking Alejandro's canonical place in this scene) and inadvertently freeing Owen.

Meanwhile, Alejandro swipes up the nearest box he can find and snags the alien chasing Noah, who's still very loudly panicking as he flees, and succeeds! The alien is swiftly captured into the box, netting team CIRRRRH their artifact, and Noah promptly goes careening into the nearest tower of junk in his face hugger-fuelled hysteria. This causes another box to topple from the peak of the tower, landing directly on Noah's head and spilling its contents onto the bookworm- glass vials filled with a mysterious, luminescent cobalt blue liquid shatter into pieces drenching Noah in whatever they contained. (i.e. truth potion.)

Owen has his false-amnesia moment, characterised by his Joker makeover, and Alejandro enacts his revenge post-hypnotic suggestion after being addressed as "Al" one too many times.

Noah, understandably, swiftly objects to Owen's treatment and demands that Alejandro snap him out of it. Alejandro concedes, and Owen's brought back to himself. At least, for a moment, before the fatigue of having his mind messed with sends Owen into near-catatonia (the same as canon), meaning he has to be ferried through the Warehouse and back to the Jet by Alejandro and Duncan.

Things carry on canonically from there; Noah's just sort of there for the most part, though there'd be a minor hint to his newfound proclivity for honesty. Something along the lines of him giving an uncharacteristically honest answer to Owen as to who he's voting- Tyler, of course, since he was the one who ultimately threw the challenge for them... and also because Tyler still holds some resentment towards Noah for what happened in London, and Noah feels guilty about it every time he looks at the jock. Wait, why did he say that?

Sometime between this and the elimination scene, Noah wipes the truth-goop off of himself, but not before the effects have already started.

Tyler's voted out, yada yada yada.

The Jet:

Thus begins the start of "Picnic at Hanging Dork". Team CIRRRRH, consisting of just Alejandro, Duncan, Owen and Noah, are slumming it up in the Economy Cabin. Alejandro tries to rally his team by asking how to break apart Courtney and Heather's tentative co-operation. Owen suggests having Alejandro seduce Heather, since it worked for both Bridgette and Leshawna. Duncan makes his "Babe Olympics" comment. Noah pipes up that playing with someone's feelings is pretty scummy, even for someone competing for a million dollars.

Alejandro takes Noah's reluctance towards his methodology poorly; he hadn't spoken up before, when Alejandro had utilized the same strategy against other girls- and even Owen noticed that, so surely Noah did too- so why was he to outwardly against him using the same tricks? Duncan agrees, and offers ''his'' idea of having Alejandro flirt with Courtney to throw both her and Heather off their games (since Heather has an obvious crush on Alejandro), and things follow canon.

Then, the scene between Alejandro and Courtney happens. Noah scoffs at the display from the side lines, prompting Owen to ask him why he's so against Alejandro's plan.

"I mean, you never said anything before, when he flirted with Bridgette and Leshawna." Owen comments, light-hearted in nature but with an underlying questioning tone.

Noah's eyes flicker with a cobalt glow, easily mistaken for a trick of the light, and he speaks without even thinking.

"Yeah, because I was trying to give him the benefit of the doubt. Bridgette was happenstance, and Leshawna's whole deal could've been a coincidence, or some massive misunderstanding. But this?" Noah extends an accusing hand out towards a smug looking Alejandro, then pans it over to a flattered Courtney, "He's outright toying with Courtney's feelings after she was cheated on in front of an international audience. It's scummy."

Owen nods in understanding, momentary contemplation evident in the pouted curve of his lips, and he chimes in.

"Does that mean you don't like Al?"

"I never said that."

"Well, how do you feel about him, then?"

Again, a flash of blue light against the hickory backdrop of Noah's eyes, and he responds thoughtlessly.

"I guess I have mixed feelings about him. On the one hand, he's slippery, like an eel dipped in grease, swimming in motor oil. He's like if you took all of the worst aspects of Heather, wrapped them up in a pretty package, and gave them social skills..." He holds his hands out before him in a scale-like manner, with the left tipped downwards and tie right raised by his chin. Then, the two hands swap positions.

"And on the other hand, he's brilliant. I've never met anyone as talented as Alejandro; he's smart, he's athletic, he's funny. It's almost unfair just how perfect everything about him is- even his face is perfect. It's ridiculous! Infuriating, even. It's so hard to dislike him, even when I know he's bad news, but that doesn't mean I trust him."

Owen stands slack jawed beside his best friend, both impressed and stunned at the raw honesty of Noah's tirade. Noah, now a little more aware of himself, realises that he's said more than he intended to- more than he thinks he's ever spoken in one go throughout the entirety of Total Drama. He's not usually one for speeches, after all, let alone honest ones.

He's always been the type to play his cards close to his chest, so why...?

"I, uh, didn't mean to go off like that."

And he also didn't mean to admit it, either. What was going on?

The look Owen gives him is, in a word, vivid. The blonde has a shit-eating grin stretching across his face, a sort of elated smugness practically glowing from his features.

"Sounds like someone has a cruuuush!~"

What? No? No! Not at all, where would Owen even get that idea?!

Noah splutters to correct Owen's assumption (to disastrous results, because he does sort-of has a crush on Alejandro, so the truth potion doesn't allow him to outright deny it), and in his preoccupied state he misses how a calculating pair of sage green eyes never seems to stray from him.

Alejandro has a lot to think about in regards to a certain cynic, it seems.

#I'd like to apologise for taking this idea and running with it. #Cutting myself off here before I breach 2k+ words or else I'll be here all day. #Sort of entered actual Writing Mode at the end there instead of Outline Mode but this idea is. So Full Of Potential I couldn't help myself. #But from here it'd basically be Alejandro using his newfound knowledge of Noah's crush on him to his advantage. #Whilst Noah's doing his best (and failing) to deny that he has any feelings for Alejandro. #Eventually leading to the two of them having a Bonding Moment where Alejandro gets Noah to divulge some personal information. #And in turn- or an effort to garner some trust (to be abused later)- Alejandro also lets himself be vulnerable towards Noah. #Something something Alejandro tries to use Noah as a pawn but ends up catching feelings of his own. #Then of course the potion wears off and Noah goes back to being just as prickly and standoffish as he was before. #A point of conflict maybe? Imagine bearing your soul out to someone only for them to close themself off to you not even days afterwards. #...Also imagine being practically forced to divulge information about yourself to someone you don't trust because of a truth potion. #Oh yeah. That's some good angst material right there. #Especially is you have Alejandro be- if not fully aware- than at least suspect that Noah's not being agreeable on his own terms. #Anon why have you given me The Thoughts?? I can't keep brainstorming AUs when I already have fics to work on!! #ophe's ranting in the tags again #total drama #td noah #td alejandro #team chris is really really really really hot #alenoah #-ish #silly ideas #other's ideas #long post #replies #kinda drafty in here (posts from the drafts)

[myimaginationplain]

do you ever think about how Katara's portrayal in the Ember Island Players' stage play is an in-universe, textual example of an oppressor state adultifying & sexualizing a racialized girl as a form of pro-colonization propaganda

and then do you ever think about how a third of the fandom also participates in that completely unironically

#this is in response to someone on twt saying that the EIP's portrayal of the DOBS cave scene was a 'win' for them as a zk shipper #& I know that tweet was a silly jokey joke.....but man #thankfully a lot of people are eloquently calling them out in the quotes of the tweet so I don't really feel the need to take it over here #but still. I try so hard to be neutral about zk & zk shippers because I really don't dislike the ship at its core. #but so many of you just can't help but make that impossible by consistently showing that you don't care about atla's themes at all ugggh #atla #avatar the last airbender #katara #the ember island players

[probably-not-a-rutabaga]

i've been using shows to keep track of how long i've been working on tmnt aberration short

so far i've watched the entirety of wander over yonder and am starting mao mao: heroes of pureheart,,,,,,, so we're at a total of 1 day and about,,, 17 hours???

will happily take suggestions on other things i should watch once i finish mao mao !!! i'm thinking abt rewatching teen titans,,,,,,,,

#this is my subtle way of saying that i'm gonna be struggling to work on anything other than this project for a while #it's !!! more time consuming than i thought <3 #and i'm behind schedule working on these keyframes <3 #i feel like i should mention that i've watched all of these shows within the past 1-2 years #i'm just very unwell about them #THEY'RE SILLY !!!! I CAN'T HELP THAT #rutabaga nonsense

[dragon-subway]

"hey crypt why do you have so many disabled characters?" because what are they for if not to sprinkle my own experiences, attitudes and points of view on?

#yes even the not-so-nice aspects #like how essie hates handouts/help cause it makes her feel like she cant do it on her own or that other ppl think she can't #but at the same time has to feel greatful cause it *is* help and making things easier and she knows they mean well #and this is a sorce of strain in her relationship with the force #do we have the same disability? no but some things translate over and i can make an effort to be respectful about the other parts #telly static #crypt's sillies (oc tag) #<- cause im chatting bout essie in the tags

[dross-the-fish]

vent.

My birthday is in a couple weeks, as expected my mother doesn't remember the exact day or what age I'll be but like most people in my family she is aware that I loathe chocolate cake. I will eat any other flavor under the sun, I just don't like chocolate.

For every single birthday while I lived with her she always insisted that this was the only cake we could have because everyone else likes it and as the oldest I can put up with it to make my younger siblings happy. Fair enough. There was usually ice cream or something else I could eat anyway. Not a big deal.

Today she ordered me a single serve square of chocolate cake and had it delivered to my house with a generic unsigned card.

She's done this every single year since I moved out. Always a couple of weeks before or a week after but never actually around the correct day. It's such a petty and transparently spiteful gesture. She knows I won't eat it but there's no pretense of having to make other people happy. It's a single square so I'm not even intended to share it. There's no way I can interpret this in good faith.

I can't even be properly angry because this is par for the course for her.

But I have to wonder why she went through the trouble. I haven't lived with her for years, I'm 100% independent financially and have even sent her money when I was able to help out. I'm not taking up space under her roof, I'm not costing her anything and I'm not around to upset her or cause her stress or problems anymore. Why does she feel the need to try and bait me? What does she get out of it?

Likely she knows I'll just give it to my partner then I'll go out and buy my own cake as I've done ever since I started having an income. Every year she does this and every year I try to figure out why and this year, as in years before, I still don't have an answer.

#I feel silly talking about this at all #it's just cake and it's not like this is a new development #but I can't help but feel like this is a gesture of contempt from her and I can't figure out why

[sysig]

Looking his very best, as much as he can anyhow (Patreon)

#Doodles #SCII #Helix #ZEX #The Captain #The theme of this set is ZEX's hair! So I guess Max's hair really lol #But double really it's ZEX's hair because Max would never let this happen to his hair lol poor abused hair haha #Cute floofy ZEX is cute and floofy <3 #He can't control the hair - no hair bones here unfortunately lol - but at least there's something around his head eh? #Max with a buzz cut! Ah!!! The problem is I love him no matter what so I think he looks cute literally anyhow haha #S'cold! As if ZEX wasn't already sensitive haha - he gets a buzz cut and is just ''?????'' the whole time #And then someone pets his hair and it upgrades to ''?!?!?!?!?!'' haha #Weird to not have anything in his peripherals too :0 Always /some/thing to the sides of his head! #I think he looks quite silly in the third one lol - I would say I drew his hair too short but it's actually more accurate isn't it #Max's hair is like chin/shoulder-length! I just can't help myself haha long flowing hair is so fun and pretty <3 #No he's beautiful however I stand by it #ZEX with slightly damp but not actually clean hair haha of course it feels strange! Not just water in there! #Actually drawing his green ends for a change haha ♪ And the grey in his hair! ;; ZEEEX weh #You can just barely see I tried to use one of my skin-tone pencils from the Crayola set but it doesn't scan the best :P #Or apply the best honestly lol they're quite hard pencils - I'm used to a softer formula like the yellow and green there! Very soft and nice #Yaaay Captain hehe <3 This is what you get for trusting someone untrustworthy ZEX lol #Okay but the way I reacted to reading there was Yarn tied in his hair I had a Normal reaction and I'm Fine about it lol #I made it red for Funsies and no other reason lol - really it's just the pen I (still) always have on hand haha #There's some in my blue as well! Just not as obviously lol - no wait that's one of his colours too just ignore that <3 #ZEX is adorable ♪ The alien not understanding human traditions and culture trope is so lovely on him #And honestly the Captain is a very good sport hehe <3 He takes a lot in stride! Good for him

[aeb-art]

so as you can see, this started off silly (and suggestive but shhh) and then…

y'know that hopelessness when all you can do to help is just… be there? yea

geo belongs to @8um8le

#2024 #do i need to tag that it's suggestive like it's just the word wireplay idk #suggestive #stellar city #sc geo #sc ash #self insert #self ship #i really can't be stopped #he is so fun to draw i can't help it #also… i have intrusive thoughts i feel i should say that in the event anyone thinks i'm being like… insensitive somehow about it #they can be really scary and gross and the topic should be taken seriously #which is why the silliness ends the moment he has one #okay cool just so we're on the same page #i wanna hold him and tell him they aren't real and that he's safe… he deserves that much

[yeehawbvby]

Um. A fee I didn't know I was being charged for from the service I order meds from just came out of my bank account and now I have negative money

Anyone wanna pay me to write or doodle things for them?? ;;w;; My Ko-fi is in my pinned post if so.

Just let me know exactly what you want (and who you are, so I can contact you here! Or you can DM me letting me know which request was yours) and I'll get right to it. I don't have a commission sheet or anything so just give what you can and I'll do my best to make it worth it.

I'd really appreciate any help I can get right now from those of you who can spare it!!

#when i asked for money for my volo microorganism it felt silly and i was half joking. this is serious though and i feel rly bad about it tbh #i don't mean to beg but like. PLEASE consider #seriously ANY little bit helps #just. god. #been in a depressive episode for months. can't get a job. my health is worsening. i can't eat because my throat muscles no longer work #can barely sleep lately which is making it harder to apply for jobs and stuff. just had to have my partner pay over 1k in car repairs that #were necessary but i couldn't afford myself. still have to do christmas shit. still have to schedule my wisdom tooth surgery. #this feels terrible. everything is going so wrong lately. not to bring on the pity party but like holy shit lmao #i'm in shambles lately and idk how much the overdraft fees will be but just knowing I might be fucked is already tolling on me so hard #shut up crisa

[theflyingfeeling]

I don’t know if I’m just imagining things but I feel like Olli and Aleksi are actually so close 🥺 for example I feel like they post so many pics together and I know they post with others too and it’s not a big deal but e.g. Olli has posted 5 pics with someone else this year and 3 of them are with Aleksi.. so it must mean something right?? 🥺 and I feel like they spend a lot of time together yk even ”outside the band” when they’re having a day off and they still do music (the remix) etc. together 😭

Yeah I mean I for one am so deep in the Olli/Allu delulu land that it's VERY easy for me to agree and confirm all of this 😭 they're boyfriends secret lovers special friends and it shows 🥺

Here are all the pictures of the two of them I could find on Olli's IG, for reference 💞

+ the group picture Olli posted when Aleksi first joined the band, with the caption 'so now there's six of us' 🥺

#i left out the one where he's pushing aleksi's and niko's heads in the water 😳 #and one from balboa bts with tommi in the background #ngl the anon ask i got yesterday has given me MASSIVE headworms of 2 young guys having thought they had their life all figured out already #and then one day they realise they've fallen for their friend and bandmate 😭 #friends to lovers but with troubles in between my most beloved trope in the world 💞💖💗💓💕💖💞 #with truckloads of (mutual) pining and just general confusion about what they should do about their stupid (mutual) feelings #(i'd love to read/write something of this sort but i'm too anxious about everyone being all #'boohoo they'd never cheat also you're disrespecting their gfs' #like............first of all it's fiction second of all IT'S FUCKING FICTION third of all i ain't gonna tell 'em lol #obviously i wouldn’t include their actual gfs and OBVIOUSLY i wouldn’t show the fic to anyone who's in it?? #i just don't understand how someone could be offended about something they don't know about lol #and OBBVVVIOUSSSLLYYYY i wouldn’t write either of the guys as somehow happy or confident about cheating like come on #there'd be SO MUCH guilt and shame and angst and they’d still love their gfs so much #but then there's also this guy who's their friend and whose stinky socks made them barf once on the tourbus #and who means the world to them. they didn’t mean for it to happen. it just did 😭 #anyway sorry for rambling i swear i don't mean to make everything about my silly fic ideas #i just can't help myself and i need a way to let it all out somehow without bothering anyone in particular 😭😭😭) #ollixallu #anon asks #answered asks

[nakanotamu]

I feel like I always get so stressed out and overwhelmed by all the pressure and scheduling involved in christmas that it ends up kind of sneak attacking me just how sad New Years makes me. This sucks

#I used to try so so hard to have a good New Years like I really put a lot of importance on it #and that never helped so then I just tried hard to relax and not worry about it. That didn't really help either #now it just feels like it just makes me sad every year. Except I still kind of can't help but put silly stock into the idea that new years #has some sort of influence on your whole year and then it just sucks. idk I know it's silly but it makes it worse. My tummy hurts

[ereborne]

Song of the Day: December 1. Starting this again! It has been years

"Soap" by the Oh Hellos

#song of the day #I used to use these posts as a sort of daily babbling opportunity and I'm gonna give that a shot again #I'm awful at journaling (for all that I'll tell a story about my day at the drop of a hat I just can't seem to write it down for me) #but a good few of the dumb little articles I've found in my desperate searching for insomnia aids have recommended journals #sleep or otherwise #and I do think it helped me keep track of days/times/general impressions of how I was feeling back when I did this before #so I'm gonna try it again! #if y'all'd like a more specific blockable tag just let me know #anyway I love this song and I was thinking a silly thing earlier and it started autoplaying in my head and I was like /perfect/ #silly concept aside the song itself is a delight. a great sound very fun to sing and clever lyrics #'a rudimentary lye; some kind of miraculous bind' #and I'm just sentimental/superstitious enough to be happy starting this frantic attempt to train my brain into sleeping again #with a song that ends with 'it's gonna hurt like hell / but we're going to be well / I'll give you my best shot'

[chipistrate]

MIMIC IS WAY DIFFERENT FROM BURNTRAPS ENDO JDBDJDBDJ

BURNTRAP ISN'T CANON THIS HOLDS ZERO WEIGHT IN THE CONVERSATION OF GLITCHTRAP BEING MIMIC HE LITERALLY DOESN'T MATTER. WE'RE NOT TALKING ABOUT BURNTRAP I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE THAT DISCUSSION AGAIN

#Chip Chatter #help wanted 2 spoilers #HW2 spoilers #I DIDN'T WANT TO REIGNITE THE BURNTRAP MIMIC WHATEVER DEBATE IN MY INBOX I WAS JUST CELEBRATING😭 #Can't talk about SHIT in this house/silly/lh #I'm not actually upset btw I just don't feel like going into the Burntrap debate rn when we're talking about Glitchtrap

[gxlden-angels]

Hello! I apologize if this is a nosy question, but what is the silly feelings wheel app you were talking about in a previous post? My therapist and I have been working on identifying feelings but I still very much rely on a list of feeling words to have any idea what I’m feeling, so it could be a helpful resource. No worries if you don’t want to share, just thought I would ask :)

It's called How We Feel! I'm not sure if it's available on all devices yet, but it's on ios and the google play store for sure.

I've been using it for about a year. It's more of a chart than a wheel but people usually recognize the wheel better so that's what I call it. When you first start it has a 10-part tutorial about emotional acceptance and regulation, then it has suggestions for each category of emotion. You can access both at any time tho after those first 10 days.

It has a share option so you can have friends, which has been great for me cause it prompts me to check on friends and them to do the same for me. It allows you to just respond with a little emoji in like a "I'm here for you" little notification to your friend, or you can reach out to your friend on your own. Its really helped me cause I'm bad at reaching out when I need support so to me and I'm bad about taking on other's problems even when I can't handle it so being able to send a little emoji instead to make sure my friends know I'm there if they need me and them doing the same has been great

#I know I sound like I'm a being sponsored by this app but it's genuinely been incredible for my mental health #whenever I get frustrated in therapy now about not being able to describe a feeling my therapist asks me to think about the chart #he'll ask me what color I feel and go 'good! do you want to narrow it down from there or continue with just that?' and it's so helpful #I have such terrible alexithymia from both cptsd and autism #it took a year of working with him to even recognize when I felt angry or hungry or sick #my friends and I check in on each other regularly now but it feels less intrusive #cause it feels like indirectly reaching out so it's less pressure to directly respond #and it might not feel the same for everyone since it could be jarring to get a notification saying friend feels miserable #but now that I've gotten used to it I don't feel like I need to solve their problems and make them feel better #Like they might be miserable because they're sick! So I check in and they say they're sick but okay and I don't feel the impulse to solve #like I would if I just didn't see them then saw them in person and saw they looked miserable #I don't blame myself or feel like I personally need to fix everything because I know they felt like that from an outside source I can't #control but I can certainly help them if they want! It's their choice tho and I don't feel bad if they don't/I can't #I feel less need to control my emotions/force them to be positive like I used to cause nobody feels positive 24/7 and I can see it #I don't feel the need to be politely content like I did in church because no one can be 24/7. I've attempted to get my family to start but #they're still stuck in needing to not be openly negative. It also helps me accept that negative feelings don't last forever #Someone feeling miserable because they're sick eventually puts they feel tired. Then chill and I know they feel better and I feel better too #Anyways thanks for listening to me ramble about my silly little feelings wheel app I hope it helps you like it helped me anon <3

[someone-you-do-not-know]

I kinda miss how much statistical information ff.net gave users about their fanfictions. Like sure. It also encouraged users to go slightly insane over numbers and updating just to see number go up. But AO3 gives me no indication or clue on how many people have read my stories. Like, for all I know, based on the numbers, even those with the biggest numbers could technically only have been read by the number of people who left kudos – and guests could theoretically be left by the same person. And it's completely impossible to tell for ongoing multichapter stories whether people just left after the first chapter unless they leave a comment.

I just miss parts of ff.net.

#fanfiction #writing fanfiction #ao3 #ff.net #being silly #I swear I'm not trying to complain or be a bummer #But when people tell me my stories are popular #I just can't see it #I don't feel popular? #There's a certain disconnect between being an author looking at a number and being the audience looking at the same number #I guess it's the same old song and dance #Leave kudos and a comment and all that #Which isn't really a requirement for reading #But don't be surprised if the people on the other end only look at kudos bookmarks or comments to gauge interest #For the longest time I thought no one even cared about my Birdbrains story because several of the parts had no or very few comments #Stars helped to get some of that passion back by commenting on all of them #Touched part 8 yesterday which was a huge accomplishment #i will shut up now