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#and by went downhill i mean got ten times better
vinylsbygi · 1 year
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champagne problems
a/n: this started really well (i think?) but the end isn't the best lol. i'm dedicating this one to @a-distantdreamer. Georgia, you listened to me rant about this fic, and it's not exactly the happiest one, but I want you to have it for your own.
pairing: daniel ricciardo x reader
word count: 1.7k
warnings: cursing, crying, you two were made for each-other but one couldn't see it.
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Hope was a foolish thing. To many people it was hope keeping them alive. But you knew from very early stage that hope is a lie. There's no such thing as believing it'll happen because it's good and you want it to happen. Life always had its plans and there wasn't a single emotion that could change that. So in the end, hope wasn't good. Because it was hope that got people hurt.
You were taught not to let hope shape you. And you never did. Until you met him and couldn't help but hope there will be some magic bond that'll keep the two of you together for the rest of your life.
Magically enough, he stayed for a while. Daniel Ricciardo was the most important person in your life. And the past form hurt more than ever. You kept going over, and over, and over, and over all the times you should've first notice. Not like it could change anything, anyways.
The train passed the station, some being filled with crowds of people ready to go to bed, to hug whoever they had waiting at home. On other stations there weren't many. Some were completely empty and some had less than ten passengers.
It was crazy how you can see all of them but you knew nothing about who they are. You could only know so far as part of the city they lived in, but that was all. You didn't know where they spent their day, where they go for a run or to cinema. You didn't know where they were anymore as soon as train started moving again. Just like you didn't know where he was anymore.
As soon as Daniel saw your eyes filling with tears, he apologized once more and left. Without a single touch, he ran away. From you.
"Have a good night, miss." said the old lady from the train. She was pretty quiet the whole time; you didn't mind her. Still, as soon as she left tears welled up once again, broken heart still full of love, full of pain. Heart still full of him.
When was it that he didn't want your relationship anymore? Was it your fault? The dinner was going so smoothly but then everything went downhill. First he left you on the dancefloor, saying something about picking up his phone. It never rang. It's okay, you told yourself, he promised he'll be by my side the whole evening. He promised.
Soon, that same evening, you've learned that promises mean just about as much hope does. Promises were weapons, but it was the person behind them that was holding them. Daniel didn't come back for half an hour. Half an hour, you were pacing around the halls, looking for him. Half an hour he stood outside, letting the cold punish him.
He knew what he was doing was wrong. He knew that you didn't deserve it. But he still did it and it just showed the reality of his mind; you deserved more than him. You deserved someone in one place, you deserved to have someone at all times. And he could give you anything in the world, but he couldn't give you that. Daniel thought it hurt you. Daniel thought a lot of things, half of which weren't good. He also thought you don't deserve to carry his crosses. Soon, he fell. He couldn't do it anymore. He couldn't look at your face without knowing he's not enough. He hoped you'll see that soon. Daniel was a foolish man.
On the other side of the city, Daniel Ricciardo was sitting on the counter of the house you once called yours, chugging bottle after bottle. He kept reminding himself that it's for your own good, that you're better off without him, but then he'd remember the look on your face when he said he can't do it. He can't marry the love of his life. What a lie it was, a sentence that cuts deeper than any knife can. So the tears would get worse again and he found himself struggling to breath because of his cries, but Daniel didn't mind. Maybe he deserved to die, to save both of you this mess again, maybe he wanted to die because here he was, drunk and broken in this house full of you, but you weren't here to tell him that everything's going to be okay.
His phone lit up, the picture of the two of you flashing in front of him. First two times he ignored it; he knew it wasn't you. Third time he got a notification, phone ended up laying broken next to him. He chuckled at irony of the situation, tears streaming down his face. He never expected it to hurt this much. So he did one thing he always did when he didn't feel good. Daniel closed his eyes, searching for your hand in the darkness. He couldn't find anything.
Train stopped at another station, sudden stop of movement making you open your eyes. You still had another twenty minutes before you find yourself in cold again. The unwanted weight of the box in your pocket brought tears back, as well as all his words. I can't let you do this, he said, I refuse to ruin your life like that.
When did he start feeling like this? Daniel was such a sweet soul who'd never hurt anyone intentionally, so he often tried and take the blame. But you couldn't help but wonder the problem was in you. He was so sweet and his heart was full of love, and that often made him an easy target. The truth was that Daniel would never, ever, want to make a person he loves cry. Perhaps that was why he left the moment he saw your eyes filled with tears.
Your phone rang interrupting your thoughts as Grace's name flashes across the screen. What a stupid decision it was to tell his family about your plans. But his mom supported you through every step of the way; if there's one person who deserved to know you plan on asking someone to marry you, that was Grace. She always treated you like you were already her daughter-in-law, and she cried her eyes out when you first told her you'll propose to her son.
This won't break you more, it'll break her as well. But she deserved to know. So you picked up.
"Soo mrs. Ricciardo?" You could practically hear her smile. "Have you already started planning the day?"
You did. Obviously he didn't, but you had wishes. You did ever since you met him. Oh how quickly things can change. How little words can destroy all dreams.
You didn't answer, you didn't know what to tell her. But your cries were enough for her to know.
"Oh sweetie." Her voice broke. "I'm so sorry."
For a while no one said anything. Grace listened to your sobs on the other side of the call, but her cheeks were wet as well.
"He said" you cried even more. "He said he can't let me do it."
There was a silence for few moments, but spoke up. "You'll be fine."
"No. Not without him, you know I won't."
She did everything she could to try and calm you down, but it wasn't enough. Only he was enough.
"Sweetheart, where are you?"
"I'll stay in the city. You know, my apartment in the old part of the city." The part where you met him.
"Is it alright if I come over?" Her voice was soft, ready to do anything to keep you safe.
"Please." The answer echoed.
Grace was an angel. She was from the day one, but you really didn't need to look at her face and to be met with familiar lines of his face. At least not tonight. But you knew she could offer you comfort, the kind that you needed.
"Oh dear." Was the first thing she said when she saw you. She felt your sadness, your anger, your confusion. She knew that it was her son that messed it all up.
"That son of a bitch." She whispered as she took your body into her arms, your cries shaking your whole being.
"He's your son, don't say that." You said to her, lungs barely filling up with air. It was sad, really, of how much you loved him. That even after tonight, even after every word that cut deeper than any knife ever could, you were still ready to fight on his side. The side that once belonged to the both of you two.
"That doesn't mean he's perfect, y/n. He fucked it up, and it was his fault."
"He didn't even touch me one last time."
Your sobs filled the room, absolutely empty you were. You felt nothing. It would be a miracle if ever again you did feel anything without him. It was Daniel who was your love, Daniel was your happiness, your anger, your everything. And now, he wasn't even yours. In few years, hell, maybe even months, he'll have someone to call his own. He'll have another lucky girl to spend days with, and all you'll have is going to be the ghost of him. Eventually, he'll forget about you, while you'll never let go of him. You'll spend your days wondering when it first went wrong.
"You'll be fine." Grace's voice interrupted your thoughts. How ironic it was for her to say this, and yet all your mind could hear was how? How? How? How are you meant to survive without him?
"No. Not without him, you know I won't."
"You will. It'll take time, but you will."
...
You were asleep in Grace's arm when her phone screen lit up. Daniel's name showed up, and she found herself thinking whether it's smart to open the message.
'I spilled some champagne, how do you wash it off?' The message read.
'Is champagne really your biggest problem right now?' Was an expected answer from his mother.
Tears were streaming down his face, because how could anyone ever understand? He took a few breaths and typed back.
'You know I'll love her forever. You know that I'll spend the rest of my life hating myself for doing that to her. But it's better this way.'
It's better that you live without him, he thinks. You'll find someone better.
And he'll spend his days cursing at gods for causing all his champagne problems.
✧・゚: *✧・゚:*✧・゚: *✧・゚:*✧・゚: *✧・゚:*
While you're here come tell me what you did/didn't like in this fic so next one can be even better <3 or just come talk to me :)
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ezri261 · 1 year
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Academic Rivals?
Part 1 - Scaramouche x Reader
Part 2 - Al-haitham x Reader
Part 3 - Dottore x Reader
pairings: scaramouche x reader
c/w: enemies to lovers, angst to fluff, modern au, short story
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'Why are THEY at the top this time?! They were supposed to fail this semester!'
A certain indigo-haired man was furious that his rival topped this time, while his so-called 'rival' was grinning in victory and in- well, cockiness.
"Hey look! I topped this semester, AGAIN!"
"SHUT UP WILL YOU!"
The (H/C) person laughed and went away with their friends, successfully making him more furious than ever.
"Yo, congrats on second place dude-!"
"Childe. Not. Now."
"CHILL! Did (Y/N) top you again this time? At least you still got into the top three! I'm not even in the top ten"
"That's because you're a dumbass."
"OW! I mean, true but you didn't have to say it!"
"Get away from me."
Scaramouche walked away from the ginger, whilst the ginger stood there and thought of a plan to help his friend get top one
TIME SKIP - LUNCH
Childe sat with his usual lunch buddies, you could guess who.
"Sooooo... Scara, I was thinking...-"
"DON'T even try to utter another word out of your mouth. I just know it's stupid"
"I SWEAR IT'S NOT STUPID SIGNORA!"
"Just let him utter it out, he won't shut up anyway."
"RUDE. But anyway, I found a way to get you to top one this semester!"
"This is going downhill, just continue."
Childe talked about his plan towards them and it seems like it could be a good plan (for once) and were considering it
"So you're telling me, I just have to do that to get to top one?"
"Yup!"
"I'll think about it"
"You're seriously thinking about it? How will you pull it off though?"
"I'll plan ahead, I already have one in mind."
"Sure, whatever floats your boat"
He just rolled his eyes and quickly left the table, wanting to initiate the plan immediately. He didn't know why he was so eager to do so, maybe because of the possibility that he'll rise to top one or... Something else?
"Hey, loser."
"Last time I checked, you were the person who got second place"
"Shut up. What are you doing after school?"
He crossed his arms, while they were confused, because- Scaramouche never made plans with other people, it was the other way around and they had to drag him.
"Nothing...? Why do you ask?"
"Good, meet me at the park later."
"Right. If you stand me up, I'll make sure to humiliate you."
He only tche'd and went off, not saying another word
'Weird, he probably has a plan... Better see what's up.'
They looked at the door where he left and shrugged, they didn't want to stress themselves out after a long day anyway.
TIME SKIP - PARK
They got to the park and inspected the area, expecting to not see the indigo-haired man amidst the crowd, but lo-and-behold, he was there, his back facing them.
"Didn't expect you to actually invite me here, Scaramouche."
"Kunikuzushi."
"Pardon?"
"Call me Kunikuzushi."
"That's so long, how about Kuzu instead?"
"Whatever."
They thought this sudden change of mood was weird, but they waved it off and enjoyed the rest of the afternoon with him. His company wasn't that annoying after all, he was a great person to be around with.
This continued for a few weeks, laughing, hanging out, infuriating each other for fun, and teasing. Until he popped the question 'Will you be my partner?' and our dear (Y/N) said yes because they actually enjoyed his presence around.
The new semester came and Scaramouche was feeling more confident than ever, and when the results came, he was shocked.
"Thought you'd replace my number one spot after dating me?"
"but- what- how?!"
"Childe doesn't exactly have the quietest mouth. Although, I don't mind continuing this relationship of ours."
Kuzu flushed and nodded.
Well, at least it ended well? The original plan was to make (Y/N) fall for him and get them distracted with their studies, but it seemed like he got distracted first...
STORY BASED OFF OF THIS TWEET
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reddeaddamnation · 1 year
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Imagine: Going on a heist with John Marston
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Genre: Fluff
Warning: Other than a long post, I can’t think of any more
“We can either go about 2 ways.“ you explained to John, watching the old giant plantation Dutch sent you to rob 2 days ago from a hill, far enough to not be spotted. The house stuck out like a sore thumb in the wilderness, far up in the north. Some kind of old hillbilly rich folk inhabited the place once, so in debt they didn’t own a penny to smile, but the old man held onto the treasure like a dragon, even if by now it didn’t belong to him anymore. His kids and grandchildren long since left the estate, seeing no hope in staying there and being pursued by the bank, but the old man stayed, shooting off any intruder to protect his legacy...but now that that legacy left him, he had fallen into despair and was willing to sell. Micah had explained that he was sitting on piles of ancient plantation gold, ready for the taking. You didn’t believe him for a second. His head was always in the clouds, living with imaginary riches in every house he comes across. And Dutch sent you to do the dirty work, of course.
“We either shoot our way in or...“ you followed up, but John cut you off. “I have a plan. Follow me.“ he drove his horse downhill towards the house “Trust me, it’s better than wandering around inside and wasting time.“ you stared at him with a raised brow. John? An idea? Where could this lead? “Alright...“ you shrugged and followed him. The giant garden was overgrown and unkept. Thorny and dying hedges and bushes littered the dry earth, weeds were growing all around them. The house looked in prime condition tho, at least as much as time let it be. You dismounted and hitched your horses on a nearby fence and proceeded on foot. The old man inside saw you coming and burst through the door with a shotgun in hand, aimed at you. Immediately John raised his hands in a position that shows he doesn’t mean harm and you followed his lead, even if your initial instinct was to shoot the bastard dead.
“Excuse me, sir, we don’t mean to bother you.“ John started talking calmly “I’m Jim Winters. This is my wife Betty. We’re newlyweds from down south.“ Wife? You tried to play along and not throw him any looks, but your blushing face was a giveaway, if it wasn’t for your clothes that weren’t very...typical wife style. Thank god the man was as dense as he was grumpy. “Wha’ye doin’ in these parts?“ he slurred drunkenly with a gruff voice. “We’re just looking to buy property. We’re ranchers by trade, wanting to start our own one day.“ John continued lying “Heard about this place from town that you might be interested in selling.“ The old man eyed the pair of you suspiciously for a few moments, before lowering his gun. “You got the money?“ he asked. “We sure do. Ten thousand dollars in cash, ready to be invested if we see it worthy for investing.“ John smirked, seeing his eyes flash and go wide with excitement at the sound of the sum.
“Well...uh...excuse my...lack of hospitality.“ he chuckled awkwardly “Ye always gotta be on edge around here. Never know what’s lurkin’ in them woods.“ he cleared his throat worriedly, hoping his words won’t scare away the potential buyers “I mean...there was never any need to shoot, but an old man livin’ alone out ‘ere...hehe...gotta protect meself ‘owever I can.“ he put the gun away and slowly went down the stairs towards you. You lowered your hands at ease. “I understand, sir. No harm in protecting your property.“ John chuckled “Like you said, you never know.“ The two shook hands “Jedediah Stone“ he introduced himself. You received only a judgmental look. “Not very fitting clothes for a lady, mr. Winters.“ the old creep commented, talking to John as if you were a cattle which couldn’t understand. “I would love to see you ride a horse in a dress, mr. Stone.“ you challenged, balling up your fists behind your back. “I liked you better when you let the men talk, woman.“ You were ready to lash out at him and tell him that you know now why his family left him, but John quickly intervened “So...mr. Stone, I suggest we go inside to have a look around, if you will have us.“
With a nod, Jedediah lead you inside, revealing the enormous entryway, leading up to stairs to the second floor. There were 3 rooms on each side of the ground floor with decorative cupboards with silver platters and hunting trophies above them. You wondered what could be inside the drawers, as you followed him from room to room. It surely didn’t lack decorations of the expensive kind. Photos littered the walls and cabinets of the whole family together - inbred hillbillies with angry expressions, armed to the teeth, guarding their prized plantation. You were scanning the area, taking notice of anything shiny and the body language of old mr. Stone - where he stood, if he was trying to hide something, where his eyes wandered. A couple of brass statuettes, some silverware, an interesting looking gun, some nick-knacks... John held you under the arm the entire time, making sure to keep the act going. The old man was explaining the history of the house and everything a buyer would be interested in. 
In the master bedroom, your eyes landed on a rather large jewelry box on display right across from the bed on a wide wardrobe. More photos. Gosh, how self centered are these people? “Your wife looks rather interested in the bedroom, mr. Winters.” Jedediah’s judgmental voice caught you off guard, making you immediately stop looking around. “I...uh...love what you’ve done with the place.” you smiled awkwardly. “She was always a fan of the finer things in life.” John added jokingly, trying to lighten up his reemerging suspicion. “Hmpf.” Stone looked away from you, his attention returning to the old photos behind a glass cupboard. You nudged John in the ribs, nodding your head towards the jewelry box. He took the signal. “So, mr. Stone, may I have a look around the plot? My wife was really excited about the plot, you understand. She’s looking forward to gardening and all that.” Your host raised an eyebrow, but agreed walking towards the door “Anything for the ol’ ball and chain, huh, son?” he muttered. What was his problem? If his marriage was a failure doesn’t mean everyone else has to be miserable...even if you and John weren’t really married. You couldn’t wait to rob him blind and get out of here. “Gotta keep her happy, mr. Stone.” John answered “It’s why I married her.”
On your way downstairs, you pretended to feel lightheaded and faint, falling down the last three stairs, much to the old man’s disdain. John immediately went to your rescue to help you up, as you held your head. “Are you okay, darling?” John asked, holding you by the waist. “I-I’m sorry, I...I suppose the heat got to me after riding all day. I feel lightheaded.” you lied, looking at the old man’s annoyed face “May I lay down while you do your business, gentlemen?” John lead you to the living room, helping you sit down on the couch. “Keep him outside for as long as you can.” you whispered to him, before he left. “You seem a little soft, mr. Winters, letting your wife boss you around.” the old man’s voice came to you as a mutter “You have to take control or you won’t have a say in anything before you know it.” John sounded clearly uncomfortable “Ah...I’ll...keep that in mind...”
You waited for the outside door to shut before you jumped off the couch and got to work, snatching up anything small and shiny from the drawers and cupboards and putting it in your bag. After scouring the first floor rooms, you went upstairs to steal the crown jewel - the jewelry box. You opened it, revealing a pile of silver and gold necklaces, earrings, bracelets and rings with valuable stones. Your eyes shone with excitement. You started grabbing inside, filling your hand with the valuables and stuffing them in your shirt, since there was no space left in your bag, which weighed heavy on your shoulder. Whenever his wife left him, she was sure in a hurry, since she left all her things behind. After emptying the contents of the box, you looked around for anything else, thinking one more score wouldn’t hurt. You looked out the window in search for John and found him, bored out of his mind, wandering around the overgrown land while the host was explaining something rather heatedly, judging by his gesticulations. You went back to work, looking through every chest and drawer left in the other rooms, filling your pockets and chest with whatever stroke you fancy - silver, gold and platinum watches, belts, bullets and anything of the such. You reached into the fireplace, pulling out a stack of dollars, just as a loud voice startled you, making you turn around immediately.
“Betty, darling! We’re back.“ John yelled, signaling that they are coming inside. You rushed down the corridor and towards the stairs, smiling at them as the two men walked through the front door. “Excuse me, I was just looking for a bathroom to freshen up.“ you explained, calmly walking downstairs. “You better not stole something, lady.“ the old man scolded, eyeing you. “Why, I never!“ you huffed loudly, hand to your chest in an offended manner “I have been putting up with your comments all day, mr. Stone and I promise you, it will be bad for our business.“ you rushed past them hurriedly, trying not to draw any attention to your stuffed bag and clothes “Calling me a thief above everything! The nerve! We’re leaving, Jim! I wouldn’t throw a dime in this dump, even if it was the last godforsaken plot in the asscrack of America!” The old man was left shocked, mouth hanging open. “You watch your tone when talking to me, wench!“ John followed you, but stopped after taking three large steps. He turned around and punched old mr. Stone right in the face, knocking him out on the spot “Don’t you dare talk to my woman like that, you miserable old bastard!“
You stopped and turned around to look at him. “John...” you blushed and giggled nervously “There’s...really no need to keep this up anymore, you knocked him out.” John was startled, staring at you with his mouth hanging open, but no sound coming out. He was blushing. “I...uh...” he stuttered “Listen, Y/N...” you cut him off, with a devilish smirk, walking past him “I forgot something. Hang on.” John followed you into the living room where you were trying to reach the fancy old-fashioned pistol, hanging on the wall. “Y/N, listen.” John repeated “Not now, John.” you were clearly struggling to reach the height. John sighed and reached up to remove it from the stand and gave it to you. “Ah, thanks.” you smiled “For the trouble.” you joked and walked towards the door with John following you. “Anything good?” John asked. “You bet. Guess old Micah was right for once. We got at least a good four thousand in goods and cash.” you gleamed, skipping ahead towards your horse “I couldn’t stand another minute in that bastard’s presence. You did right knocking him out. Don’t know if that was part of the plan, tho...” John was silent the whole time “How did you come up with that? Sure there was less bloodshed and all that but newlywed ranchers?” you scoffed at him jokingly. “Well, I figured there would be less gunshots that could attract attention, so keeping low out in the open seemed original.” John was blushing and rubbing the back of his neck.
You reached the hitched horses. Reaching into your shirt, you pulled out the stack of cash, dividing it as evenly as you could and giving him half. His hand brushed against yours as he took it, making you both blush. “So, uh...listen, Y/N...” John started, avoiding your gaze. “Let’s get away from here and I’ll give you half of the loot too.” you quickly turned around, avoiding the topic he wanted to start. You swore you’d never see him as anything other than a business partner, even going to great lengths to avoid him at camp, unless you were forced to do a job together, which you tried your best to stay away from by keeping yourself busy at all times with someone else from camp. It’s not like you had bad feelings...quite the opposite actually. You were very much fond of him and his character. You just didn’t want any trouble around camp by making someone suspect your feelings for him. 
Ever since one drunken incident with Micah, the boys around camp had been teasing you and John to get together, while the girls either side eyed you or looked at you with pity. Dutch has been especially disapproving and harsh since then and when Abigail wasn’t making snarky comments whenever you tried to talk to her, she went off about how she didn’t care. The scenario was that one evening when everyone was drunk out of their minds back at camp, Micah tried cornering you behind some trees and made rather poor and unwanted advances. You were just about ready to beat the hell out of him, until John suddenly came out of nowhere, lashing out at him and punching him square in the jaw. The others were shook. Sean was first to start laughing and teasing how he was in love with you, while you tried explaining that he was just defending your honor and nothing else. Karen and Mary-Beth were really the only ones who shrugged it off and told you “Don’t listen to those children. Love doesn’t pick and choose.” Since then it was hopeless. Everybody knew why you were avoiding him.
You rode back to your temporary camp up in the hills in silence. John only broke it when you were finished unpacking the stolen goods. “Listen, Y/N, I think it’s time we have a talk.” your heart dropped and you froze in place. “John...” you looked at him, sighing tiredly. But he didn’t let you finish. He pulled you close and kissed you passionately, leaving you breathless. “I know you’ve been distant since what happened with Micah, but I don’t care about what anyone thinks. I’m a man who stands behind his word and I’ll always protect your honor because I love you. Even if you don’t want me, I’ll still be behind you when you need me.” You blinked at him for a minute, speechless “When that old creep was making those comments, I just wanted to shoot him dead until he was an unrecognizable corpse. I won’t allow anyone to talk bad about you, I swore to myself and to you.” he avoided your eyes, looking away as if ready to tear up. “Honestly, when I called you my wife, there was nothing in this world I wouldn’t give to say that and mean it. To make it real... and...who knows, maybe one day we actually can be newlywed ranchers.” he chuckled nervously, looking away. “I have way too many things to say.” you answered quietly. “Good or bad?” he joked nervously. You felt his heart pounding in his chest. You gave him a light peck on the cheek. “Does that answer your question?” you joked back with a smile. “You’re dangerous, little lady.” he smirked.
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“Who goes there?“ Sean yelled threateningly as you rode into the gang camp’s ground. Great. He’s on guard duty. “John and Y/N!“ John yelled back. “Oh. Did you have fun on your little getaway?“ Sean teased, letting you through. “It wasn’t a getaway, you idiot!“ you barked “We bring a fortune you never even dreamed of getting your hands on.“ Sean whistled. “Is there a ring you saved for the lass somewhere in that fortune, eh, Marston?“ John ignored him. Whatever happened in those hills stays in those hills, but the 50$ John sacrificed from his share to give you one of the nice necklaces was still hidden beneath your clothes, away from prying eyes.
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deluweil · 1 year
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So this one is a little personal post, that I will probably make invisible in the morning, but I have no where else to post it, since my family is all over sm and they are nosy and judgmental.
Don't get me wrong, I love them, but they are not the best of cheerleaders.
When I was about eleven, my grandmother saw a picture of me and my sisters holding a baby crocodile. It was a sweet picture of all her grandchildren in one frame, but what she saw was the redness from the popsicle I had on my lips and noted, out loud, how pretty I look wearing lipstick.
It's not something you want to tell a ,barely past the age of ten, child.
If it was a one off, I'd probably would have let it go, but it wasn't, for every year ever since I have heard my grandmother tell me how much better I would look with makeup, how much it is attractive, that I should not let myself go.
And I would always be offended and take to heart, to the point I would not go to my grandparents' house without wearing makeup.
Up until a couple of years ago, when I finally started therapy and learned to love myself as I am.
It was always about, how I look and what I'm wearing and whether I dyed my hair or wore earrings, I was taught that in order for others to like me I have to present a person that I'm not. A doll to admire and love.
Therapy helped me stand up, look my grandmother in the eye, and tell her that I am just as pretty in a natural look. Just wearing my own face.
Over time, my grandmother's comments about makeup and hair and weight turned into funny little anecdotes. My sisters and I tell each other after our latest adventure at my grandparents' house.
Today, my sister came back from visiting our grandmother and told me and my mom about how she told her that she looks naked in her body colored tights, how her feet smell (after a long day at work), how she got fat and how her friend that accompanied her is not thin at all.
My mom said that my sister doesn't take it to heart, and we both said that after years of growing accustomed to getting nothing but criticism from our loved ones, we all just take it in stride now and take it with humor. And I added just like I learned to not let the "You look better wearing makeup" comment get to me anymore.
That got my mom to turn on me and say in the most judgmental way, "How can you be two years in therapy and not learn to forgive?"
I said that just because I forgave doesn't mean I forget. Some things are just not easy to scrape off and get rid of. I forgave, I let it go when it comes up, but these little comments shaped my whole life, making me think I'm never going to be good enough as I am.
This turned into a whole sermon about me not letting shit go, and others just want the best for me and led to talking about how me thinking that wishing me nothing but a husband and a child (and nothing else) for my own birthday is a bad thing and my mother saying that I'm taking this the wrong way and what's so bad about that?
And it all went downhill from there. In the end, the fun vibe ebbed away, and I got left with a crappy feeling, and only hours later did I realize again that somehow my old wounds turned to be about my mother and how she's feeling and how I'm not allowed to feel anything that is not aligned with her way of thinking.
And how she made me the bad person in the situation when this was never about her.
Don't let toxic ppl tell you how to feel. Don't let them dictate you what to remember, what to forget, what to forgive, or which feelings to hold onto.
Narcissistic people will always find a way to make your life about them, don't let them.
You are strong, you're beautiful, you're smart, you're creative, you're loved and you're loving.
And you are everything else you want to be.
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scarletnakazato · 2 years
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Kyoichi Sudo - rEvolution
• Kyoichi Sudo x Reader | Smut | • Word Count: 5,702. • Synopsis: In which Kyoichi finds his Empress, a bit of jealousy caused by his rival ensues, and a hatched plan from the reader tips Kyoichi over the edge, bringing out his inner Emperor.
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Another one beaten. These teams can't keep up with or handle (Y/N)'s Lan Evo by any means. One after another, they all fall. The red of the car is dark, but the shade of it stands out like a beacon, day or night. That's going to be the colour they all remember, and it'll never leave their mind. Her and her Evo III have been unbeatable since she bought the car. She had lost race after race in her previous car. She tried her best, did what she could to improve, it never worked.
The night she saw a race with an Evo III she fell in love with it. She quickly got rid of her old car and bought the red beauty she has now. She practiced every night for years, bettering herself and upgrading the car as needed. From then to present, she hasn't lost since. Anyone who knew of her said that she went on her own revolution; overthrowing each team and every racer that came after her looking to beat her. Soon enough, one by one, they all fell before her, like enemies groveling at the foot of an empress.
She had gone through the prefecture tearing up the streets and beating teams she comes across. Then, she ended up at Irohazaka, the home course of a team consisting entirely of Lan Evos. Maybe she could get in and join them? She's been without a team for a while. When she reached the top, she noticed a blue MR2 parked in the middle of the road. Must be waiting for his opponent to show up, she noted. She checked the time, seeing it was fifteen minutes past ten. The race normally would've started by now.
Team Emperor was sitting on the sidelines, their evos all parked in a row. "Hey, Kyoichi?" Seiji asked, getting the leader's attention.
"What?"
"That's not one of our guys, is it?" Seiji pointed behind Kyoichi, causing said man to turn around.
Catching sight of the blood red Evo III he replied with, "No. We don't have a red Evo on our team." The car pulled up next to the MR2, the engine's purr sounded like low, deep rumbles of thunder in the distance. The muffler gave off a similar sound and it made the car look and sound more intimidating than it already was.
The entire team was interested in seeing who drove the car and were definitely not expecting a girl to get out of the driver's side. "Your opponent not showing up on time for 'ya?" She spoke to the MR2 driver.
"No, he isn't." He replied, looking a bit annoyed.
"Well, if you're still looking for a race, I'll give you one." She leaned against the front right fender of her car.
The guy laughed. "I don't race girls."
"Why? Scared to get your ass beat by one?" (Y/N) smirked. Most of the Emperor guys snickered and gave a quiet "Ooh." Seiji gave a small whistle, Kyoichi giving him a glare that said, "Dude, fuck off" before returning his attention to the girl.
"Not like you'd be much of a challenge anyways. Girls can't race for shit." The guy thought he made a good comeback, smirking proudly. Now, (Y/N) was getting pissed.
"Better hope you don't find yourself rolling off this mountain, Kogashiwa. That's what happened to the last one." She lowered her voice at the last sentence, Kai now looking a bit intimidated that she knew his name and her Evo seemed to rumble a bit like it was laughing. It was a bluff, sure, but it still had the desired effect on the guy. "So, race or not?" she asked, looking directly at him.
"Fine, whatever. Let's get it over with." Kai gathered his composure before getting in his car, (Y/N) doing the same. The countdown started and they took off after the ten second count. The battle consisted of a downhill and uphill run. Whoever finished first on the uphill, won.
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"How in the hell did my MR2 lose to a Lan Evo?!" Kai started fuming. "It's got a mid-engine, making it more evenly balanced! It should've beaten an Evo easily!"
"MR2s actually have more oversteer problems because they have a mid-engine. If you know how to control the car properly and use it to your advantage, then it wouldn't be a problem. The car didn't lose, you did." (Y/N) replied which only caused Kai to get more pissed off, muttering something before slamming the door shut and driving off.
Damn, she's hot. Kyoichi smirked, watching her as she went to grab a coffee from the nearby vending machine. "Say, Kyoichi. You think we should let her on the team if she's good enough?" Seiji asked.
"Kogashiwa, despite his temper, is a highly skilled driver. He knows this course as much as we do, and I highly doubt she even practiced this road for one night." Kyoichi started, his eyes averting from her to Seiji. "If she can beat a local on their home course with little to no practice and only use their skills and car's power efficiently, she's either got ridiculously high adaptive abilities, or she's insane. If she's interested and beats you in a few runs for initiation, then she's in." Kyoichi looked back to (Y/N) sitting on the hood of her car, drinking her coffee as some people eagerly talked with her about the race.
"You want me to race her? Any specific way you want to do this?" Seiji asked, looking curious.
"She raced Kogashiwa without a plan, as far as I can assume. The kid most likely stuck to his own lines that he always uses. She probably caught on quickly and used it against him. If she's interested in getting on this team, we're having her race through all the simulations until she can't win. If she does beat you in all of them, including Simulation X, then she's on the team hands down." Kyoichi spoke firmly, his eyes landing back on her. When she hopped off the hood and the group of people she spoke with left, he decided now was the time to talk to her.
Looking over to her left, she noticed one of the Evo guys walking up to her. Isn't he the leader of that team? She raised an eyebrow and fully turned towards him. "You must've put up a hell of a fight during that race." He said as soon as he stopped in front of her. "Kyoichi Sudo." He introduced himself.
"(Y/N) (L/N)." She nodded slightly, then gave an answer to his statement. "In the first half, yes, but after I caught on to his pattern and how he likes to jump the corners, I figured out how to beat him." She answered honestly, taking a sip of her coffee.
"And how'd you do that?" Kyoichi raised an eyebrow.
(Y/N) shrugged a bit saying, "I copied his pattern, used it against him, then boom, won." She took another of sip of coffee, a small smile on her lips.
How the hell can she simply copy someone's pattern and make it sound that easy? his eyes narrowed in thought. "Have you ever raced on this pass before?" Kyoichi asked, making eye contact with her once again.
"No, only drove it to get up here."
What the hell? She didn't practice this course and she nailed it on the first run? Just what kind of adaptability does this woman have? Kyoichi had to admit, this sounded quite impressive. But if he was going to be actually impressed, he's going to need to hear it from Seiji and possibly even see it for himself. "So, you got a team you race with or you go solo?"
"I haven't been on a team since I got rid of my old car for this guy," She pointed at her Evo with her thumb, "about a year and a half, I'd say."
He nodded in acknowledgement. "Would you be interested in joining us? We're made up entirely of Lan Evos. I am however going to put you through some tests if you really want to get in." Kyoichi smirked when she did. "Sounds fair. What kind of tests?"
"You'll be going against our number two driver in a few races consisting of uphill, downhill, and both at once. Should be four races or less, depending on how many you win. Think of it as ascending levels, they get harder with each one. If you lose the first race, we won't bother doing the rest."
"Good with me, when do you want to do it?"
"Next Saturday at ten. We'll give you time to practice the course how you see fit, seeing as we've had years on this pass." (Y/N) nodded at his words, giving a short "See you then," before parting ways and driving home.
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(Y/N) had practiced the course a few times a night, easily getting a feel of the road. She showed up at the top of the pass a few minutes early, the team was already there talking amongst themselves. They all focused on her when she pulled up to the start line and got out of the car.
"So, how are we doing this?" she broke the silence first, leaning against the door. Kyoichi motioned for Seiji to move his car to the start line before approaching her.
"We're going to start off with a downhill race. You beat him on this run, we move onto the next. Like I said last week, it should only take four runs at most. Once you're finished with the downhill, the second race starts from the bottom of the pass as an uphill." Kyoichi stated and (Y/N) nodded in understanding.
"How about the last two races?" she asked.
"Those will be combinations of up and downhill. Each race gets harder, I want to see how well you handle them all. If you're up to my standards and expectations, you're on the team. Good?"
"Yep." Pushing herself off the side of the car and opening the door, she got in.
Kyoichi moved to the driver side of Seiji's Evo and he rolled the window down. "Starting this off simple, right?"
"I want you to start with Simulation One. If she beats you, move up to Two on the uphill. Don't pull anything funny, no dirty tricks, stick with the plan, got it?" Kyoichi gave him a slight glare until he nodded before heading back to his car. They revved the engines, warming them up before the countdown began and they took off down the pass.
She's got some powerful acceleration, Seiji noted. Evos naturally have instant acceleration, but hers reacts in such a way that allows the car to accelerate faster, gaining speed in a smaller amount of time. He continued to tail her bumper, attempting to put even a little bit of pressure on her. All part of the simulation.
(Y/N) glanced in her rear-view mirror, seeing how close he was riding the rear end. She rolled her eyes, focusing on the road. If he wants to intimidate me, he's going to have step it up. Riding my bumper won't do shit with me. This is Kyoichi's number two driver? If intimidation is his game, he's not very good at it.
Once they pulled out onto a straight away, she pressed on the gas more, putting quite a distance between them. Damn, her acceleration is insane. Seiji furrowed his eyebrows and stepped on it, trying to catch up. Did she even spend any real time practicing this course or she is just winging it with what she knows?
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Seiji followed the procedures of the first simulation and went to pass her in the last quarter of the race, which was successful. However, as soon as he did, he felt like prey that was about to get mauled. Looking back at the red evo in his rear-view, it gave off an aura that screamed anger. Right after they turned another corner and the straightaway appeared just before the first bridge, she floored it. That's when Seiji heard it. A small series of loud bangs echoed as she passed him.
"She's got a misfiring system?!" Seiji watched the exhaust to see two more bright flashes escape the pipes, the bangs sounding along with them. "She must be running anti-lag as well with how fast her acceleration is. Damn, this chick isn't fucking around."
They passed the finish line, (Y/N) winning the first race. The guys on the radio reported everything in as they prepared for the second race.
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When Kyoichi saw (Y/N) pass the finish line on the uphill, he was honestly, a bit impressed. How was she beating Seiji so easily? Said man pulled up and rolled the window down. "Yo, Kyoichi. She's got a misfiring system." Now this was interesting. He heard no trace of one when they took off for the first race.
"Wait, does she run anti-lag?"
"...Yeah."
Kyoichi was no longer impressed with this woman, he was starting to get obsessed. Just what the hell is she? Who was she before she left her previous team? What car did she have? What kind of racing has she been capable of when she got her Evo III? What do crowds say about her and her skills? He needs to know.
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(Y/N) successfully passed all the tests she was given and joined team Emperor. Since the team consisted of all guys, she was expecting them to make comments how "She won't last long" or "Why the hell is a girl on our team," but that never happened. If anything, they all looked impressed with how well she performed and even started up conversations with her. But she never thought she'd be meeting up with the leader of the team at a small restaurant, alone.
Is this a date? Or does he just want to talk since I'm new on the team? Her thoughts wandered as she pulled into the parking lot, finding Kyoichi's Evo and parking next to it. When she got inside, he noticed her talking with a hostess before heading over to him.
"Hey, sorry I'm a bit late." She gave a quick, small smile as she sat down across from him. "It's fine, only been here a few minutes." He said as he waved his hand slightly. "So, what did you want to talk about?" (Y/N) asked slowly.
"You."
"Oh," her eyes widened as she nodded slowly, not expecting such a straightforward answer, "that's... probably the most straightforward thing I've ever heard from someone." She said a bit shyly.
Kyoichi smirked. "I like to get straight to the point."
"Yeah, you sure do." She nodded in agreement. "So, what would you like to know?"
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Kyoichi leaned against the side of his car, a cigarette hanging from his lips as he was deep in thought. To think she gained so much skill in such a short amount of time. Putting herself in different mental scenarios to come up with solutions to possible problems or obstacles. Her instincts and adaptability are so damn high because of that. Impressive. Taking another drag from his cigarette he turned his head to look down the road. Multiple loud bangs flooded the air as the sound of a high revving engine made its way closer.
The shine of headlights appeared from the corner, approaching at blistering speeds. A quick flash of red sped past him followed by another series of bangs as the red Evo climbed up Irohazaka.
She's one hell of a woman.
Kyoichi decided to get in his car and drive up as well. By the time he reached the top, (Y/N) was chilling on the hood of the car drinking a small can of coffee. Parking next to her, he got out and leaned against the front right fender of his car.
"Stalking me as I do practice runs, are we?" she smirked, taking a sip of coffee.
He scoffed, "Hardly stalking if you can see me so easily."
"True, or you could be really bad at it. Is there anything you are good at, or are you just naturally a bad boy?" her tone changed more to a teasing, seductive one for the last half of her sentence. The smirk on her face stayed the same, her eyes on his, almost challenging him.
He took the time to stare into her eyes. Now he had an excuse to do it and not get made fun of by the guys; if they were here. He could easily see the fire that shone in those (E/C) of her eyes. He loved that. She's a woman who likes challenges and doesn't back down from them until she wins or loses. She doesn't run from danger; she runs to it.
"I guess you'll have to see for yourself." Mirroring her smirk, he shrugged. Getting off of her car, she stood in front of him.
"Then show me."
Without hesitation, he took hold of her wrist and waist, turning her around and laying her on the hood of his Evo. Hooking an arm around his neck, she pulled him down, crashing her lips onto his.
Their kisses were rough, Kyoichi holding her hip with one hand and pinning her wrist onto the hood with the other. His muscular thighs were pressed against hers. She could feel the small flexes they made when he moved, and she'd be lying if she said she didn't like it.
Kyoichi pulled away from the kiss, leaning towards her neck. (Y/N) gasped when lightly bit at her neck, soon leaving a dark purple mark just below the side of her jaw. Pulling away from her completely he smirked, admiring his work.
He loved how she looked, spread out on his car like that. Just imagining what else he could do to her like that got both of them riled up in the mind. When (Y/N) was off of his car and back by hers with cheeks still flushed red and legs a little weak, Kyoichi spoke up as he got in his car.
"If you thought that was bad, call me if you want worse." He winked and smiled smugly when he saw her blush get worse before he took off down the mountain.
"Damn, that man is something else."
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Spectators lined the edges of Akina's pass behind the guardrails, having heard of the infamous Takumi Fujiwara taking part in a race against Seiji. Team Emperor traveled across the prefecture taking down all the teams in the region. Since Ryosuke Takahashi was beaten by Fujiwara, Kyoichi wanted to make sure he was beaten before his rematch with Ryosuke.
(Y/N) was the last of the team to arrive, but still had plenty of time before the race started. Parking her Evo next to Kyoichi's, she got out. "'Bout time you showed up! You're late." One of the guys piped up.
"I'm not late, we still got a half hour before the race starts. I'm not the one racing anyway." She waved them off and hopped up onto the hood, per usual. She leaned her back against the windshield and her legs were stretched out in front of her, ankles crossed.
The kid going against Seiji showed up last minute, the race starting immediately after. (Y/N) glanced at Kyoichi and the rest of the guys talking with him. Her eyes then glanced to the back door of his car. She smiled mischievously, silently getting off of her car and quietly making her way to the back-right door of Kyoichi's Evo. His back was to her, the other guys were facing mostly the same way.
Slowly, she opened the door as quietly as possible before snatching what she wanted, shutting the door just as quietly. Smiling in victory she slipped on Kyoichi's blue jacket, no longer trying to be quiet as she walked back to the front of her car. It was pretty big on her considering Kyoichi had quite a bit of muscle on him. The ends of the sleeves went past the tips of her fingers just a bit and the bottom of the jacket ended on her upper thighs.
Looks like Kyoichi got a new addition to his team. She's quite easy on the eyes, isn't she? Ryosuke looked her over, a small smirk on his face. He wondered how Kyoichi would react if he flirted with her a bit. He decided to put his small plan into action when she finally started walking over after staring at something on his side of the lot for a while.
As she got closer, he began walking in her direction to meet her in the middle. "Excuse me." (Y/N) stopped and looked up at the guy who approached her. "I'm sorry for stopping you but I must say, you are quite beautiful." He gave her a charming smile and she raised an eyebrow.
"Thanks."
"Yo, Kyoichi." One of the guys tapped him on the shoulder and pointed behind him. "Takahashi is talking up your girl." Hearing this made him instantly turn around, locking eyes on their forms. He was giving a death glare to Ryosuke, often looking at (Y/N) to see her expressions. She looked a little confused and highly uninterested. Kyoichi was a bit relieved to see that. He was also surprised she wasn't interested to some degree since nearly all women within a thousand feet of Ryosuke swooned over him like he was a god, always complimenting his looks and height.
Kyoichi wasn't exactly on the tall side of men according to himself since most women went for a guy 6' and up. He was 5'7". Of course, there were girls who didn't care how tall a guy was as long as they were taller than them. (Y/N) was definitely shorter than him. She never made any mention for caring about this kind of thing, so he could only hope she preferred him over Takahashi.
He continued watching the interaction and he was starting to think she didn't even know who she was talking to. Ryosuke was starting to look a bit confused as well, giving Kyoichi more of a notion he was right.
"Ah, I forgot to introduce myself, I'm terribly sorry. I'm Ryosuke Takahashi, I lead the Akagi RedSuns." He smiled charmingly once again, giving his head a slight tilt. His hair dropped a bit in a good-looking manner, but sadly, not having the desired effect on (Y/N) that he was going after.
"Ok."
She turned on her heel and headed in the direction of where she was originally intending to go. The vending machine. She got two cans of her favourite coffee before walking back to her team. It was when she was heading back and facing Kyoichi's direction that he noticed the jacket she was wearing. Is that mine? When did she get that? he looked through the windshield of his car, seeing no jacket in the back seat. He quietly hummed, looking back at her.
He had to admit, she looks good in it. He'd love to see her in the rest of his clothes. "Weird ass guy." (Y/N)'s voice pulled him from his thoughts making him think he said it out loud before she continued speaking. "You know who that guy is? He wouldn't shut up."
"Ryosuke Takahashi." Kyoichi replied.
"That's what he told me, but he said it in a way like I was expected to know who the hell he was and be impressed by it." She sighed, opening a can of coffee, taking a drink.
"You have no idea who he is?" Kyoichi was surprised, every street racer has heard of him.
"Nope. I don't care either, he's weird." This made him and the guys laugh. Finally, a girl who doesn't like him.
This reassured Kyoichi tenfold knowing he has no competition with Takahashi. When she was close enough, he skillfully wrapped an arm around her waist pulling her to his right side. His hand keeping a tight grip on the side of her hip. After her initial shock she relaxed into his hold easily, dropping her head to rest on his shoulder. She could pick up on the faint smell of his cologne, deep and musky; it fit him perfectly.
Out of the corner of his eye, Kyoichi saw Ryosuke looking in their direction. He lowered his hand to her ass, giving it a squeeze. She let out a mixture of a hum and sigh, leaning a bit more into him. Kyoichi smirked when he looked down at her.
When the race ended, and Seiji drove back up, he ended up not following the last half of the simulation Kyoichi told him to use. When everyone else had left and Emperor was the last group on the top of Akina, Seiji got bitch slapped. Kyoichi wasn't happy to say the least, giving Seiji a rough lecture about fucking up such a simple plan and needing more patience. (Y/N) thought it was a bit much, but she was sure Seiji learned his lesson and he wouldn't have to worry about getting slapped again.
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The next time the team was partaking in a race was back on Irohazaka. (Y/N) had her car in the shop getting some tricky parts installed so she had to hitch a ride with Kyoichi. She had a little plan up her sleeve. She told him she'd give his jacket back the next time they met up, which is tonight.
The tension between them has been getting thicker and she was about to cut it. They both have been wanting to get on the other and that was going to happen tonight. She's going to rile him up until he's got her on the hood of his car.
What he doesn't know: she's not wearing anything underneath his jacket.
Throughout the entire night she's been teasing him subtly, little by little. He couldn't tell if they were on purpose or not since her neutral expression didn't help him at all. They were small things, almost unnoticeable. Light brushes of her hands against his thighs, staring at his neck, arms, waist, and lower. She only looked away a few seconds after he looked directly at her, like she was coming out of a daydream. It was frustrating him.
This had to be on purpose. She unzipped his jacket just enough to show her collarbones. Nothing unusual there, except for the fact he couldn't see the bits of a shirt or tank top anywhere. Everything else she chose to wear looked too easy to take off.
Kyoichi was a bit happy he was wearing pants that were on the baggy side to hide his, well, "frustration". When this race was finished and everyone left, he was going to show her the consequences of teasing him. If she wants to go around thinking she's got all the control like she rules the situation, he's going to show her who the real emperor is.
Soon enough, that time finally came. As soon as the last car turned around the corner and out of sight, Kyoichi pinned her on the side of his car. A small gasp past her lips when her back hit the car. Her wrists were pinned on each side of her head, Kyoichi keeping a firm grip on them.
"If you think you can play these games and not get punished for it, you're going to get it rough, babe." He leaned forward, speaking lowly in her ear with a deep, husky voice.
"What if that's what I want?" she replied, mirroring his tone. Kyoichi nearly growled as he leaned down further to bite at her neck, leave rough kisses, filling it with marks. (Y/N) let her head fall back to rest on the Evo, giving him more access to her neck. With each nip at her soft skin, she let out quiet, breathy moans.
When he finally let go of her wrists, she wrapped them around his neck, her hands holding onto the sides of his shoulders. She flipped them around, Kyoichi's back hitting his car. He was slightly taken aback by her sudden strength and how quickly she took his shirt off, yet he easily molded into the rough kiss she initiated.
She's feisty and he loves every bit of it. He loves the challenge of authority she gives him. The constant fight of who's in charge, who's the most dominant, and what they'll do to stay on top. Kyoichi revels in it.
With a hand in her hair and the other keeping a firm grip on her ass, he forced his tongue past her lips, covering the entirety of his new territory and the sound of moans escaping from her throat and her tongue fighting for dominance only pushed him further.
Letting out a low, guttural groan, Kyoichi moved his hand from her hair to the other side of her ass, picking her up and moving to the front his car, laying her back flat against the hood of the black Evo, a leg on each side of him. He trailed his hands up her thighs, slowly, almost teasingly until he reached the waistband of her skirt. Hooking his fingers, he slid her skirt down her legs until they were off completely.
He decided he wasn't patient enough to drag this out when he pulled off her underwear as well adding to the small pile on the ground. When he was about to reach up to unzip his jacket she was wearing, she did it for him. His hunch from earlier proved he was correct; she wasn't wearing anything underneath it.
Her appearance before him was only making the tightness in his pants much, much tighter. Completely bare from the waist down and his jacket barely covering her breasts. He was both turned on and annoyed by the fact she was like this the whole time. The places they went throughout the day, the entire drive up here, and there was nothing under that damn jacket. If he wasn't already going to fuck her roughly for her teasing, he's sure as hell about to for this.
The sheer thought of watching her getting railed by his dick and only wearing his jacket had him lowly growling, as he leaned down leaving bite marks along her collarbones. (Y/N) bucked her hips up, her arousal hitting Kyoichi's making him hiss deeply. Her hands were on his back, lightly trailing up and down was nearly driving him insane. When he pulled back, she wore a small smirk, her cheeks were flushed, and her lips, red. She looked him in the eyes and spoke, her voice a bit higher, seductive, and purring lightly.
"I want you... Emperor."
Kyoichi stopped moving for a moment, his muscles tense as he quickly processed her words. His eyes darkened and all in one swift motion he had his belt off, pants and boxers lowered, and slammed himself into her with no warning. (Y/N)'s eyes rolled back, her back arched, and she nearly screamed from the pleasurable and painful sensation. Her nails left deep marks in his back; some drew blood.
Kyoichi's thrusts were fast paced and rough that caused the Evo to rock slightly which each thrust in. "K-Kyoichi, f-fuck!" (Y/N) whimpered loudly. Having a hard time forming coherent sentences and words, she filled the air with moans, whines, and whimpers. She chanted his voice over and over until her voice went raw.
Her hair was clinging her face, and a sheen layer of sweat covered their skin. Kyoichi has never felt so in control over anything until now. The sight of her beneath him, sprawled out on top of his car, his jacket leaving the covered bits of her to the imagination raised his pride tenfold. There was no feeling more superior than this.
Her hoarse voice calling his name like it was the only thing she could remember. Such bliss. She was dominant in her own right and really knew how to get Kyoichi riled up. He wondered if she could up the dominant persona even when she's on the bottom.
He was pleasantly surprised when she pulled him down, latching her lips onto his neck, nipping, biting, and sucking on one spot leaving a dark hickey he knew would be a bitch to try and cover up. When she stopped making noise but gave the expressions of a moan as he continued his rough thrusts, he realized she lost her voice.
"Good to know I can fuck you so well that you go mute." He said through heavy pants and a smirk played on his lips. She let out a whine that was barely a whisper and smacked his shoulder, making him chuckle deeply.
She was getting close when her walls started to tighten around him, and he was too. His thrusts had gotten sloppy over the last few minutes and his breaths were heavy. He lifted one her legs up a bit, allowing him to go deeper. He groaned when she raked her nails up his back, running over small cuts that she made earlier.
(Y/N) arched her back, letting out a silent scream as she came. Kyoichi continued his thrusts for another minute until he came as well. Panting heavily, they slowly came down from their high. Kyoichi recovered the fastest, situating himself after a few minutes, his clothes put back on. After (Y/N) put on her clothes and zipped up the jacket, she got off the hood of Kyoichi's Evo and would've faceplanted onto the ground if he didn't catch her. She gave a whisper-like whine as she held onto him. She wasn't going to be able to walk for a while. Kyoichi smiled subtly at the thought.
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"You've been awfully quiet, (Y/N)." Some the guys look at her curiously after their friend spoke up. She smiled smugly and shrugged pointing at Kyoichi. They all gave a low "Ooh." When Seiji arrived, he nearly spit out his drink at the sight on Kyoichi.
"Yo, Kyoichi!" Seiji called out to him, causing him to look at the guy.
"Nice hickey!" Kyoichi glared and flipped him off.
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lionheartslowstart · 2 months
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Back Again
This weekend I took an impromptu trip to Los Angeles. (Okay, so it wasn't exactly impromptu but I can't say the real reason yet 🤫.) I've been jittery all week, but it wasn't until I was actually on the plane and the pilot announced, "Welcome to Flight blah blah, nonstop to LA. Our flight today will be 5 hours and 36 minutes. We will be departing shortly," that it actually hit me. I'll be going home this weekend.
I know that sounds crazy, to refer to a place I've been to 3 times (soon to be 4) for a total of about 6 weeks as "home." But that's genuinely how it feels to me. It just feels...correct.
New York hasn't felt that way in a long time for me. In fact, ever since I got back from LA last summer, a deep-seated resentment of New York has been slowly festering within me. It's strange, I used to love New York. I used to dream of having a big loft-style apartment in the heart of Manhattan. Now I'm itching to leave not just the city, but the whole state.
How did this happen? I can't know for sure, but I believe there are two reasons. The first boils down to all the trauma I've sustained over the last ten years. College was far and away the worst period of my life, and I would hardly call the years after that "better." I think on some level New York was basically ruined for me.
The other contributing factor is that I simply never imagined I could live far away from my family, which is also essentially my support system. And I'm not just talking about my immediate family. I'm quite close with my extended family as well. All of them, with one exception, live in the tri-state area, or at least close by. The idea of living in Los Angeles wasn't even on my radar. And why would I even dream of it, when I loved New York so much? But then I went to LA for the first time in 2018, and suddenly it was a possibility. And as time passed and I continued to grow and heal, it became even more of a possibility.
A few weeks ago, I made a post alluding to a decision I had made. I suppose this is the Part 2.
Right before New Years, I made the impulse decision to apply to grad school, something I always said I would never do. Yet, I had a sudden urge to make that leap. At the time, it felt like the right choice. I've been in and out of the game, as I call it, for a while now, and what better way to firmly get back in than to go back to school? This time would be different. I was undiagnosed while I was in college, but now that I know I'm autistic, I would be able to navigate school better and hopefully get some kind of accommodations. But above all, I could go to school in the place I love the most, and in doing so, build a community in my industry IN that city, which is where I want to end up anyway. I submitted my application on New Year's Eve, along with a killer personal statement (if I do say so myself), and a few days after that, they invited me to audition.
This is where it all goes downhill.
As I sat in the orientation, listening to the two instructors drone on and on, something didn't feel right. When I tell you these people were pretentious, I mean they probably thought their shit tasted like ice cream. I have never in my life encountered someone who took themselves more seriously. It would have been funny if it wasn't so somber. They reminded me so much of the instructors I had in college. They were not at all the kinds of people I wanted to work with.
I will also add I had a very unpleasant interaction with the worse professor of the two. Essentially, I asked a question, and he spoke down to me and basically told me I shouldn't be applying to grad school. His response was condescending, nasty, and frankly, ableist, especially considering he should have known I was autistic if he had actually read my application.
I wish I could say I came up with some witty response on the fly, but I did not. I was so stunned that he would speak that way to someone just asking a question, let alone a prospective student. But in that moment, I realized that, no, this didn't feel right. It wasn't the answer I thought it was.
Then I bombed the audition. I mean I BOMBED. I was too nervous and upset, and I took some bad advice right before my slot (which you should never, ever do). But you know what? I was okay with it. I walked out of that room already knowing I would receive a rejection letter, and I didn't care. Those people disgusted me, and I loathed the idea of being stuck with them for three years.
Still, there was an itch. I knew I was on the right track, even if grad school (or at least, THAT grad school) was not the answer. And as I sat in that room and listened to these two pompous academics jerk each other off for an hour, I realized what it was.
I don't need a "reason" to move to LA. I can just do it.
Yes, it would be harder (much, much harder) to start from scratch out there, as opposed to moving there for a project or to go to school. But so what? I'll hopefully be able to transfer at my job, I'll look for gigs as a PA, and I'll keep going on auditions. Besides, it's not like I don't know ANYONE out there. I have a few contacts, so I'm not actually starting completely from scratch. Still, it will be a challenge to say the least. But I have to try. I have to.
So far, I have only received support, encouragement, and positive feedback from the people in my life. From day one, everyone I know has told me they believe in me, and that belief seems never to have wavered, despite the fact that it's been over 10 years and I still have nothing to show for it. (Well, not nothing, but very, very little.)
When I shared my plans with her, my best friend "Diana" said to me, "Sophie, your miracle is coming. If it was going to happen in New York, it would have happened by now. But I think you're going to find it out there, I really do."
One of my friends of 16 years just yesterday told me, "I have always thought you will make it, and I haven't changed my mind."
And my boyfriend, "Thomas?" He told me under no uncertain terms that he will come with me. "You're the only thing I'm sure about, Sophie." That's a direct quote. I'm so lucky to have someone like him as a partner. He's never even been to LA! We're going in a few months, so hopefully he loves it too.
These are just some of the responses I've gotten. There hasn't been a single person I've shared this choice with who has discouraged me. Not a one. And I just feel like that has to mean something, if so many people believe in me. It's helping me to believe in myself again.
So...I'm moving. Our lease is up at the end of August, so we still have plenty of time. But also, that's really not a lot of time! It's nerve-wracking, but it feels right. Like I said, I have to try. I figure I'll give it three years, and if it doesn't work out, I'll come back to New York with my tail between my legs. But man oh man I hope it doesn't come to that. And honestly, even if my Big Dreams don't come true...I think I'd stay out there. I genuinely just really love Los Angeles. I'm certain that I would want to live there no matter what my career was. There's just something magical about it. (Note: I'm posting this after my weekend trip, and I legit started crying on my way to drop off the rental car, so there you go.)
Of course I'll miss my family and friends terribly. That will be the hardest part, without a doubt. But we'll all find time to visit each other, and talk on the phone as much as possible. Besides, I won't be totally alone. I'll have Thomas by my side, taking the ride with me.
I'm beyond excited for this next chapter in my life. It feels like I'm finally aligning with the path I was meant to take. Whatever happens, at least I can say I took the leap.
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fardell24b · 2 years
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Mega Mall Mega Problems - Part 4
It took a while but Mrs. Bennet had found the Mall executive offices. However, while the meeting started out well, it soon went downhill.
 “How about you? How many times a year do you go to the mall?” one of the executives asked.
 Daria could see through him and his colleagues. “Don't people usually get paid for participating in market research?”
 “Research?” the executive asked in a strangled tone.
 Mrs. Bennett interrupted. “Now, Daria, these busy executives have been nice enough to give their time to help educate us on mall economics. Tell us about flow, would you?”
 “OK,” one of the executives said.
 “I bet that is a two-way mirror,” Daria said.
 “You don’t say,” Jennifer said. She reached for a light switch. “You mean if I do this…” She flicked off the light, revealing that the mirror Brittany had been posing and examining herself in front of was a two-way mirror.
 “The focus group is, um, a very important tool in mall management…” another of the executives began.
 “I feel used. I feel abused. I feel that this is not a fun mall after all and the media should be made aware of it,” Jodie said.
 “Alright, little lady,” the first executive said. “Here is a coupon for a free frozen yoghurt.”
 “Don’t insult me,” Jodie said.
 “Make it a ten-dollar merchandise coupon?”
 “It’s still an insult!” Brittany pointed out.
 The executive covered his ear in discomfort at her shriek.
 “Okay, a twenty-five-dollar merchandise coupon for everyone in the class.”
 “You don’t get it. There is a principle involved,” Daria shot back.
 “No, there isn’t,” Jodie said.
 “So, much for idealistic youth,” Daria said.
 “For twenty-five bucks...” Jennifer mused. “But this is something you can use!”
 “Of course,” Daria responded. “But the blame may be placed on our Fuzzy Wuzzy Weebit loving teacher.”
 “It’s a start,” Jennifer pointed out.
 Daria gave a small smile.
  “Definitely an insult,” Brittany grumbled as she left the office.
 “What are you going on about?” Jodie asked.
 “If I had known it was a two-way mirror, I wouldn’t have been posing in front of it!” Brittany answered.
 “I see,” Jodie said. “There’s not much I can say, other than, be careful.”
 Brittany nodded.
The class all looked at the coupons they had been given. “Scissor Wizard?” Daria wondered. “What is this?”
 “The Doo Dad shop?” Jennifer wondered.
 “Books by the Ton? Like I would want to go to a bookstore?” Brittany said, disappointed.
 Mrs. Bennett then gave the class practical assignments to do. “Daria and Jennifer, you observe the traffic patterns at the food concessions. Jodie and Brittany, you will study and report back on shrinkage.”
 “Understood,” Jodie said.
 “Now, we'll meet back here at quarter to three. Remember, area F, section Moss, level three. Got it? F Moss Three.”
 “Nothing to it,” Daria said.
“We should probably write it down,” Jennifer said.
 “Definitely,” Daria said as she took out a notebook.
  Xavier, Quinn and the Three Js entered the department store, but they found that it was a mess of aisles. “Is there a map for this store?” Xavier asked.
 “We better turn around,” Quinn said.
 “Are you sure?” Josie asked.
 “Yes, we may find another way through from the entrance,” Quinn responded.
 “A good idea, Quinn,” Xavier said.
  Brittany looked at her coupon again. Books by the Ton. ‘Maybe I can turn this to an advantage?’ she thought as she twirled her hair. Despite her earlier outbursts, there were still subjects she was interested in. ‘But where is that store?’ She looked around as she twirled one of her pigtails. It would take forever to find it. ‘Maybe if joined with someone else?’ she pondered. She looked around, but there were very few of her classmates still in the area. Jodie had gone, but she did see Daria and Jennifer in the distance.
  “You hear that?” Daria asked.
 “Daria! Jennifer! Wait!” Brittany called as she ran up.
 “Hi Brittany,” Daria said.
 “Can I come with you?” Brittany asked.
 Daria looked at Jennifer, who shrugged. “Sure,” she said. “But, why?” she asked, with confusion, while trying to ignore her pounding heart.
 “Most of the others had gone,” Brittany answered. “Besides, I’d like to know you more.”
 ‘Of course,’ Daria thought.
 “You can come with us,” Jennifer said.
 “Thanks,” Brittany said.
 “Just don’t ask too many questions,” Daria added.
 “You mean personal questions?” Brittany asked with a twirl of one of her pigtails, “or questions in general?”
 “The former I guess,” Daria responded.
 “Right.”
  Quinn and the others got back to the entrance of the department store. She asked one of the assistants for help.
 “Sure, I’ll get a map for you,” she said. She grabbed a map from a counter nearby. “Here you go.”
 “Thanks,” Quinn said. She then looked at it. “We turn right here, and go the next left, then the third left, then the second right.”
 “Are you sure?” Josie asked.
 “Yes,” Quinn said.
 “There are other ways,” Xander said, after looking at the map himself.
 “But that’s the quickest,” Quinn said.
 “And we can look at clothes on the way,” Jessie said.
 Josie and Jamie looked at her.
 “What?” Jessie said.
 “We can look at clothes later,” Josie said.
 “We can look at some clothes,” Quinn said.
 Xander sighed.
 “Let’s go then,” Sam said in a bored tone.
  Daria, Jennifer and Brittany stopped. “So many stores,” Daria said. “How are people supposed to choose?”
 “Maybe they plan ahead?” Brittany asked.
 “Only some would,” Daria said. “A place like this is meant to draw people in for the novelty of it.”
 “I suppose so,” Brittany said after a brief twirl. She took out her coupon. “I got Books by the Ton. If we find it, we could stay there for a while.”
 “Probably,” Jennifer said.
 “Certainly,” Daria said with a blush. ‘I don’t know what book she would want to get. It would probably be one on cheerleading.’ She shook her head. It could be about anything to do with sports.
 “Is it anywhere near here?” Brittany asked.
 “We’ll need to look at a directory,” Jennifer answered.
 “Of course.”
  They soon found a directory. “Here it is,” Jennifer said. “D Tangerine Five.”
 “D Tangerine Five,” Daria repeated. She wrote it in her notebook after the reminder of where to meet. “Done.”
 “That’s a good idea, Daria,” Brittany said.
 “Thanks.”
  It took longer than expected for Xander, Quinn and her friends to leave the department store. Jessie had to try on a stylish tracksuit that had caught her eye.
 “OK, we’re on track,” Quinn said as they left the store. “Now it’s a straight shot.”
 “Good!” Xander said in a bored tone.
 “We can look at more stuff later,” Jamie said to Jessie.
 “No problem,” Jessie said, clutching the bag to her side.
  “D Red Four,” Brittany said, twirling her hair.
 “Not quite D Tangerine Five,” Daria remarked. “But we should be close.”
 “Wouldn’t it be up another floor?” Brittany asked.
 “I think so,” Daria said. She saw yet another escalator a dozen meters away. “Let’s go.”
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griffinavocado · 3 years
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minus zardy :]
ik there’s already an official one but i felt like making my own
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shkspr · 3 years
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hi. on your post where you may or may not have ended on 'moffat is either your angel or your devil' did you have maybe an elaboration on that somewhere that i could possibly hear about. i'm very much a capaldi era stan and i've never tried to defend the matt smith era even though it had delightful moments sometimes so i wonder where that puts me. i'd love to hear your perspective on moffat as a person with your political perspective. -nicole
hi ok sorry i took so long to respond to this but i dont think you know how LOADED this question is for me but i am so happy to elaborate on that for you. first a few grains of salt to flavor your understanding of the whole situation: a. im unfairly biased against moffat bc im a davies stan and a tennant stan; b. i still very much enjoy and appreciate moffat era who for many reasons; and c. i hate moffat on a personal level far more than i could ever hate his work.
the thing is that its all always gonna be a bit mixed up bc i have to say a bunch of seemingly contradictory things in a row. for instance, a few moffat episodes are some of my absolute favorites of the rtd era, AND the show went way downhill when moffat took over, AND the really good episodes he wrote during the rtd era contained the seeds of his destruction.
like i made that post about the empty child/the doctor dances and it holds true for blink and thats about it bc the girl in the fireplace and silence in the library/forest of the dead are good but not nearly on the same level, and despite the fact that i like them at least nominally, they are also great examples of everything i hate about moffat and how he approached dw as a whole.
basically. doctor who is about people. there are many things about moffats tenure as showrunner that i think are a step up from rtd era who! actual gay people, for one! but i think that can likely be attributed mostly to an evolving Society as opposed to something inherent to him and his work, seeing as rtd is literally gay, and the existence of queer characters in moffats work doesnt mean the existence of good queer characters (ill give him bill but thats it!)
i have a few Primary Grievances with moffat and how he ran dw. all of them are things that got better with capaldi, but didnt go away. they are as follows:
moffat projects his own god complex onto the doctor
rtd era who had a doctor with a god complex. you cant ever be the doctor and not have a god complex. the problem with moffats era specifically is that the god complex was constant and unrepentant and was seen as a fundamental personality trait of the doctor rather than a demon he has to fight. he has the Momence where you feel bad for him, the Momence where he shows his humility or whatever and youre reminded that he doesnt want to be the lonely god, but those are just. moments. in a story where the doctor thinks hes the main character. rtd era doctor was aware that he wasnt the main character. he had to be an authority sometimes and he had to be the loner and he had to be sad about it, but he ultimately understood that he was expendable in a narrative sense.
this is how you get lines like “were the thin fat gay married anglican marines, why would we need names as well?” from the same show that gave you the gut punch moment at the end of midnight when they realize that nobody asked the hostess for her name. and on the one hand, thats a small sticking point, but on the other hand, its just one small example of the simple disregard that moffat has for humanity.
incidentally, this is a huge part of why sherlock sucked so bad: moffats main characters are special bc theyre so much bigger and better than all the normal people, and thats his downfall as a showrunner. he thinks that his audience wants fucking sheldon cooper when what they want is people.
like, ok. think of how many fantastic rtd era eps are based in the scenario “what if the doctor wasnt there? what if he was just out of commission for a bit?” and how those eps are the heart of the show!! bc theyre about people being people!! the thing is that all of the rtd era companions would have died for the doctor but he understood and the story understood that it wasnt about him.
this is like. nine sending rose home to save her life and sacrifice his own vs clara literally metaphysically entwining her existence w the doctor. ten also sending rose with her family to save her life vs river being raised from infancy to be obsessed w the doctor and then falling in love w him. martha leaving bc she values herself enough to make that decision vs amy being treated like a piece of meat.
and this is simultaneously a great callback to when i said that moffats episodes during the rtd era sometimes had the same problems as his show running (bc girl in the fireplace reeks of this), and a great segue into the next grievance.
moffat hates women
he hates women so fucking much. g-d, does steven moffat ever hate women. holy shit, he hates women. especially normal human women who prioritize their normal human lives on an equal or higher level than the doctor. moffat hated rose bc she wasnt special by his standards. the empty child/the doctor dances is the nicest he ever treated her, and she really didnt do much in those eps beyond a fuck ton of flirting.
girl in the fireplace is another shining example of this. youve got rose (who once again has another man to keep her busy, bc moffat doesnt think shes good enough for the doctor) sidelined for no reason only to be saved by the doctor at the last second or whatever. and then youve got reinette, who is pretty and powerful and special!
its just. moffat thinks that the doctor is as shallow and selfish as he is. thats why he thinks the doctor would stay in one place with reinette and not with rose. bc moffat is shallow and sees himself in the doctor and doesnt think he should have to settle for someone boring and normal.
not to mention rose met the doctor as an adult and chose to stay with him whereas reinette is. hm. introduced to the doctor as a child and grows up obsessed with him.
does that sound familiar? it should! bc it is also true of amy and river. and all of them are treated as viable romantic pairings. bc the only women who deserve the doctor are the ones whose entire existence revolves around him. which includes clara as well.
genuinely i think that at least on some level, not even necessarily consciously, that bill was a lesbian in part bc capaldi was too old to appeal to mainstream shippers. like twelve/clara is still a thing but not as universally appealing as eleven/clara but i am just spitballing. but i think they weighed the pros and cons of appealing to the woke crowd over the het shippers and found that gay companion was more profitable. anyway the point is to segue into the next point, which is that moffat hates permanent consequences.
moffat hates permanent consequences
steven moffat does not know how to kill a character. honestly it feels like hes doing it on purpose after a certain point, like he knows he has this habit and hes trying to riff on it to meme his own shit, but it doesnt work. it isnt funny and it isnt harmless, its bad writing.
the end of the doctor dances is so poignant and so meaningful and so fucking good bc its just this once! everybody lives, just this once! and then he does p much the same thing in forest of the dead - this one i could forgive, bc i do think that preserving those peoples consciousnesses did something for the doctor as a character, it wasnt completely meaningless. but everything after that kinda was.
rory died so many times its like. get a hobby lol. amy died at least once iirc but it was all a dream or something. clara died and was erased from the doctors memory. river was in prison and also died. bill? died. all of them sugarcoated or undone or ignored by the narrative to the point of having effectively no impact on the story. the point of a major character death is that its supposed to have a point. and you could argue that a piece of art could be making a point with a pointless death, ie. to put perspective on it and remind you that bad shit just happens, but with moffat the underlying message is always “i can do whatever i want, nothing is permanent or has lasting impact ever.”
basically, with moffat, tragedy exists to be undone. and this was a really brilliant, really wonderful thing in the doctor dances specifically bc it was the doctor clearly having seen his fair share of tragedy that couldnt be helped, now looking on his One Win with pride and delight bc he doesnt get wins like this! and then moffat proceeded to give him the same win over and over and over and over. nobody is ever dead. nobody is ever unable to be saved. and if they are, really truly dead and/or gone, then thats okay bc moffat has decided that [insert mitigating factor here]*
*the mitigating factor is usually some sort of computerized database of souls.
i can hear the moffat stans falling over themselves to remind me that amy and rory definitely died, and they did - after a long and happy life together, they died of old age. i dont consider that a character death any more than any other character choosing to permanently leave the tardis.
and its not just character deaths either, its like, everything. the destruction of gallifrey? never mind lol! character development? scrapped! the same episode four times? lets give it a fifth try and hope nobody notices. bc he doesnt know how to not make the doctor either an omnipotent savior or a self-pitying failure.
it is in nature of doctor who, i believe, for the doctor to win most of the time. like, it wouldnt be a very good show if he didnt win most of the time. but it also wouldnt be a very good show if he won all of the time. my point is that moffats doctor wins too often, and when he doesnt win, it feels empty and hollow rather than genuinely humbling, and you know hes not gonna grow from it pretty much at all.
so like. again, i like all of doctor who i enjoy all of it very much. i just think that steven moffat is a bad show runner and a decent writer at times. and it is frustrating. and im not here to convince or convert anyone im just living my truth. thank you for listening.
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mymoonagedaydream · 3 years
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Not sure what kind of AUs you write, but could you possibly do a Mob!Bucky x Soft!reader? And by soft!reader I mean she’s generally very kind, gentle, and cutesy, the “wouldn’t hurt a fly” type, except when defending those she cares for, then it’s like someone flipped a switch and she’s hell on wheels lol
All Bark and No Bite
Summary: When you fell on hard times, comfort came from the very last place you expected
Pairing: Mob!Bucky x Soft!Reader
Word Count: 2.2k
Warnings: Language, intimidating behaviour
Author’s Note: I really loved this request :) thanks so much anon
---
Approaching the front door of your apartment, you heard low talking coming from inside. Your dad hadn’t mentioned anything about having guests over, but you were making his favourite spaghetti for dinner, so maybe he’d just invited a friend over to try it.
He loved showing you off to people, and you loved the proud smile he wore whenever he did.
You turned the key and pushed open the door, seeing your father in the front room, sitting beside a youngish man you didn’t recognise. Clean shaven with neatly slicked back hair and a pretty expensive-looking suit, he was absolutely nothing like the friends who were usually brought home for dinner.
As soon as your father saw you he jumped up from the couch, looking a little antsy. ‘Hi sweetie. This is Bucky, a friend from work.’ He walked over to you and gave you a kiss on the cheek, before turning round to look back at his friend. ‘This is my daughter, y/n.’
You gave Bucky a warm smile. ‘Nice to meet you.’
‘You too darlin.’ He had a thick, deep Brooklyn accent that made your stomach tingle.
‘Are you staying for dinner? I’m making spaghetti.’
Bucky sent a nervous look towards your father, who seemed to be attempting a very subtle head shake, hoping you wouldn’t notice. There was definitely something weird going on, you could’ve cut the tension in the room with a knife.
‘That’s alright.’ Bucky eventually replied. ‘I should get going soon.’
There was a slightly uncomfortable silence as you took your coat off and hung it by the front door. Only when you walked through to the kitchen did you hear the deep mumbling start again, far too quietly for you to make out any of the words.
You heard the front door open and close, then you heard your dad quickly shuffle into his bedroom.
---
An hour after the guest had left, dinner was ready, but your father was still locked away. You walked to his bedroom and timidly knocked on the door, inching it open to see him sitting on the edge of his bed, head in his hands.
‘Dad? Is everything alright?’
He looked up, you could immediately tell he’d been crying. He sighed and patted the bed, inviting you to sit by him.
‘I sorry, sweetheart.’ He reached out for your hand and squeezed it. ‘You know we’ve been struggling a bit lately and, well, I owe some money to some bad people.’
‘That man, who was here earlier?’
‘He’s one of them, but he was here to try and help me out. If they found out he could get into a lot of trouble.’
His grip on your hand was tightening, almost to the point of being painful, but if that’s what he needed to do to keep him grounded then you were happy to let him.
‘How bad is it?’
He turned to look at you, tears welling in his eyes. ‘We could lose everything.’
That hit you like a punch in the gut. He looked absolutely devastated. You hadn’t seen him like this for years, not since you lost your mother.
You moved your arms to circle his shoulders, giving him a tight hug.
‘It’s okay dad. We’ll figure it out.’
---
The next day, while your father was out at work, you were woken by aggressive banging on your apartment door. You considered ignoring it, but they didn’t let up, almost thudding the door off of its hinges.
Opening it cautiously, you saw two burly, intimidating guys staring down at you, and Bucky stood slightly behind them looking a little sheepish.
‘Hey there sweet thing.’ The one at the front said, his alcoholic breath washing over your face. ‘Is your daddy home?’
‘No, he’s not.’ Bucky’s face dropped slightly, obviously shocked by your firm tone.
‘Can you tell me where he is sugar?’
‘No.’
Bad breath gave a low, sinister chuckle before stepping forward and lowering his face to level with yours. ‘I really think you should. We don’t want to have to do this the hard way.’
You were probably being stupid and reckless, but no way were you going to be intimidated into compromising your dad’s safety. You leaned in even closer to your unwelcome guest, leaving barely an inch between your forehead and his.
‘If you so much as touch me, I’ll scream this fucking building to the ground.’
It took a second, but he eventually backed up. ‘I like you, kid. I’ll be seeing you. Soon.’
He turned and walked away, the other man you didn’t recognise following him closely. Bucky hesitated for a second, staring at you while his mouth curled into an impressed smile. He grabbed a cigarette from behind his ear and put it between his lips, winking at you before finally following his colleagues down the hallway.
After firmly pushing the door closed and sliding the chain across, you squeezed your eyes shut and let out a few shaky breaths, thankful that you’d come out of that interaction unscathed.
You never told your father what had happened. He had enough to worry about.
---
A few days later, you were working a double shift at the diner, trying to earn as much money as you could to help your dad out. You’d been on your feet for thirteen hours straight but, thankfully, it was pretty late, so the place was almost completely dead.
You were filling up the coffee machine with beans when you heard the bell above the door go. Turning your head, you saw Bucky saunter in, eyes glued to the newspaper in his hands.
He took a seat at the counter. You wiped your hands on your apron and went to stand opposite him.
‘Hi there.’ He seemed to recognise your voice, his head snapped up as soon as you spoke.
‘Hey.’ A wide smile spread across his face. ‘I’ve never seen you in here before.’
‘I don’t usually do the graveyard shift. Just, y’know, trying to earn some extra money.’
His smile dropped slightly after hearing the exhaustion in your voice.
You hadn’t intended to make him feel guilty. If anything, you owed him your gratitude, cause knowing that there was someone else helping your father out made you feel so much better about this shitty situation.
‘Coffee?’ You chirped, trying to lighten the mood a little.
‘Great, thanks.’ You grabbed him a mug and started pouring. ‘I, uh- I’m really sorry about the other day. Doorstep intimidation was really unwarranted, I tried to convince them out of it.’
‘It’s okay, it wasn’t your fault.’
He smirked slightly. ‘You handled it well enough. I was impressed.’
‘Oh I’m definitely all bark and no bite.’ You passed him his coffee and gave him a warm smile. ‘But keep that to yourself.’
Pottering around behind the counter for a while, you felt his gaze on you whenever you passed by him. It was actually quite nice, having this devilishly handsome man show some interest, so you found yourself coming up with as many excuses as possible to walk in front of him.
Ten-or-so minutes after he’d arrived, you had to duck into the kitchen briefly, and when you came out you found yourself pretty disappointed to see that he’d left.
You trudged over to his empty coffee mug, picking it up and double-taking when you saw that it’d been sitting on top of a fifty dollar note.
He must’ve left it by accident, surely? Fifty dollars is a ridiculous tip for a cup of coffee.
You slid it into your apron, figuring you’d give it back next time you saw him. You could even use it as an excuse to get your dad to invite him back to the house, but you hoped you wouldn’t have to resort to that- you hoped that maybe he’d come around by choice.
---
It’d been a week since you’d seen Bucky at the diner, the fifty dollar note was still sitting in your bedside dresser. Your father had been going downhill, getting worse everyday, and the temptation to give the money to him was getting more and more difficult to resist.
Coming back from the grocery store, you climbed the stairs of your apartment building and turned into your hallway, the sight that greeted you making you stop dead.
Bucky was sitting outside your apartment, leaning against the door, looking like he’d just been in a horrific car crash. As soon as he saw you he struggled up onto his feet, the full extent of his injuries becoming apparent as you got closer.
‘I’m really sorry y/n, I didn’t know where else to go.’
‘God Bucky, what happened to you?’
‘They found out what I’ve been doing.’
Your eyes widened in shock. ‘They did all this just because you helped my dad out?’
‘Not exactly.’ He winced as he limped out of the way of your door. ‘I haven’t been playing ball with them for years, I’m tangled up in more shit than I can keep track of.’
It was definitely a stupid idea to let a guy being chased by the mob into your home, you knew that, but you were really struggling not to feel sorry for him. He looked completely broken.
‘My dad’s gonna be out all day.’ His dejected nod at that was the final straw, you knew you had to help him. ‘But I’ll clean you up.’
You gave him a reassuring smile as you let him through the door. He steadily lowered himself onto the couch while you fetched a bowl of warm water and a clean cloth. You didn’t really know what you were doing, but you figured at the very least you could give him a bit of comfort and wipe all the dried blood off his face.
You took your makeshift first aid kit into the front room and sat next to him.
‘Look at me.’ He shifted his face towards you. You wrung out the cloth and gently pressed it to a deep gash above his eyebrow, making him wince. ‘I’m really sorry this happened, you didn’t deserve it.’
He chuckled lightly. ‘You gotta teach me how to do that.’
‘Do what?’
‘Flick between the nicest and the scariest person I’ve ever met.’
You gave him a faintly amused smile. ‘We lost my mom when I was a kid, my dad needed all the kindness he could get.’ Bucky looked a little shocked at your honesty. ‘But he’s also stupid as hell, so he needs defending pretty often.’
‘He’s lucky to have you.’
Your eyes flicked to meet his, sensing a hint of sadness behind his words. ‘Do you have anyone?’
‘If I did, I probably wouldn’t have ended up beat to shit and on the run.’
You sighed and nodded, dropping the cloth back into the bowl and scanning your eyes over his face again. ‘That’s about the best I can do. You’ve stopped bleeding, but you won’t be winning any beauty contests for a while.’
He chuckled and ran his hand over his hair, taking a deep breath.
You were really conflicted about what to do next. Having him here could put both you and your father at risk, but were you really just going to throw him back out on the street? Anything could happen to him out there, you’d never forgive yourself if he would up in an even worse state.
‘Bucky, you’re welcome to stay here as long as you need.’
‘Thanks.’ You could almost see a wave of relief passing over him. ‘I don’t think my place is safe at the moment.’
You reached out for his hand and squeezed it tight, a calm silence falling as your eyes locked together. He slowly moved his free hand up to brush a strand of hair away from your eyes, then letting it come to rest at your jawline, gently cupping the side of your face.
You closed your eyes and settled further into his hand, almost feeling yourself melting under his soft touch. Between working and looking after your father, you’d never really had the chance to get close to anyone like this, so these sensations were pretty new to you.
You felt his body shift slightly, and a second later felt his lips press against yours. It was unexpected, shocking you a little at first, but it didn’t take long before you relaxed completely and returned the kiss. It felt like there was electricity flowing through your body, making all your hairs stand up and your stomach do flips.
Getting a little carried away, you lifted your hands up to hold his face to, completely forgetting his extensive bruising. He winced slightly and pulled away.
‘Oh god, sorry I forgot.’
‘S’alright.’ He flashed you a wide smile. ‘I knew you had some bite in you.’
---
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Met Gala (Johnny Depp x fem reader)
for anon @kittenlittle24 @evelynrosestuff
for the vibe of this, listen to Could It Be? by Christy Carlson Romano here 
You looked absolutely stunning, but you were always stunning. This was Johnny’s exact thought as you ascended up the stairs into the Met Gala, and he just couldn’t tear his eyes away from you; the lights from the camera flashes and the tent seemed to bounce off your metallic/silver dress... and the large diamond on your right hand that seemed to mock him. Johnny hated the way your fiancé’s hand gripped your waist, hated the way you smiled up at him as he did so. As the night progressed, you found yourself in the bathroom trying to get in Kylie Jenner’s Met Gala selfie with your head on some pop star’s shoulder. After dinner and the musical guest, you roamed the exhibit alone after Alex had to leave early.
The entire thing was absolutely beautiful, you thought as you snapped pictures for your friends and family back home, and you made a mental note to visit during the rest of it’s duration. While you thought you were the only person on this side of the museum, you were proven wrong as you heard the scuffle of feet on the marble floor and the hushed voices bouncing off the walls. “Are you out of mind? Y/N’s engaged and definitely not into me.” It was Johnny’s voice and it sounded like was talking on the phone. Johnny was quiet for a while as the other person spoke.
“Tim, I promise it would not make a difference if I told or not. You should’ve seen the two of them. The way she was looking at him, it was disgusting, and the worst part is that she can’t see that he’s using her.” You almost choked on your breath. What did he mean by that? Johnny’s in love with you, and if so, for how long? You quickly turned back in the direction in which you came, trying not to trip in your heels.
There was no way Alex was using you, right? He loves you, and yeah, it was a bit too fast, but when you know, you know. Isn’t that what everyone says? This wouldn’t be the first time someone said something like this about Alex, your fans online thought so too, but they were wrong about him, they don’t know his heart the way you do. You quickly ducked into a restroom and into a stall to check your Twitter feed, and after reading a few messages, you felt a little sick.
oh god, the met gala is going downhill. how tf are so many “influencers” getting invited? one said. Another one: y/n looks so gorgeous but that rat ruins it. And the last one: funny how y/n and alex have been together for less than a year and he’s already signed to a modeling agency and going to the met gala. The other comments were pretty much the same and you wanted to throw up. You thought back to everything that had happened since you confirmed our relationship with Alex; his following on social media had grown exponentially, he did sign with a modeling agency and landed a L’uomo Vogue cover and campaign for Gucci and countless other brands.
Your friends in the modeling world told you it took them twice as long to get steady work and to get their foot in the door. And then the paparazzi to deal with, they were always popping up, even at the most secluded places... like at your favorite restaurant in your hometown. You’ve never had to deal with that while visiting your family, and while you would take pictures with fans, that was it. All of it was starting to click.
You needed to end things with Alex, like yesterday, and you thought back to Johnny’s conversation: “It wouldn’t make a difference if I told her how I feel about her.” How could you miss that? The first time you ever met him was at an audition for one of his movies; the movie was based off a book and it was between you and another girl, and even though you didn’t quite match the physical description of the book, he fought tooth and nail for you to be in the movie. You had a small crush on him while filming, but at the time, he was in a committed relationship with two kids. You were a law school drop out trying to prove to your family that this “acting thing” could work, so you never acted on it.
He had taken you under his wing and supported you in the early days of your career, and still does. All of that was a decade ago, and now you’re at the top of your game and still remain close friends (which Alex doesn’t like), even filming a movie with Lily-Rose and interviewing her for one of her first magazine covers. Your little crush on Johnny never really went away, and before you could tell someone, you met Alex and the rest was history. You never thought Johnny would ever be interested in you and that you could ever have a chance with him so you let it go.
But now Johnny is single, and you’re engaged and ten years older. It was completely unfair. It’s not like you could pretend everything was normal, but what could you do? Go up to him and admit that you overheard his very private conversation? Yeah, that’ll work.
As the night wore on, you danced to the music the dj was playing with your celebrity friends and took pictures and videos with them before heading to an after party that Rihanna was throwing. You turned on your phone to see the multiple calls and text messages from Alex wondering where you were so you typed back: going to the rihanna after party. see you when i get back to the hotel. This was one of the things you hated about Alex. He could be so clingy and could constantly blow up your phone asking where you were. You turned it back off and went on with your night.
“Hey you. I’ve been looking for you all night.” You finally found Johnny at the bar nursing a glass of water. “I’ve been... around.” He took a sip of water before asking the bartender for another refill. You took a deep breath and let it out slowly; it was now or never, and you know that if you don’t do it now you’ll never do it.
“Johnny, can we talk? Like really talk? Because I feel like I haven’t spoken to you since I got engaged. You got engaged two months ago, and you and Johnny check in with each other every week. “Johnny, I know. About everything.” His brown eyes widened in fear and it reminded you of a child who got caught with his hand in the cookie jar before dinner. “God, Y/N, I’m so sorry, you must think I’m disgusting---”
You cut him him off. “No Johnny, I don’t” You told him about the crush you had on him while you were filming together ten years ago and you could feel your face heat up in embarrassment, then it was over. You kept your eyes down on the bar top the entire time. “Johnny, what are we going to do?”
All of this felt so wrong, and it felt like you were cheating on Alex, which you weren’t but still. Alex is your fiancé, you’re supposed to be in love with him. Of course you love him, but lately you’ve been feeling annoyed, about everything. You’re tired about being asked about wedding plans, fighting about where to live, Alex speaking calmly to the paparazzi as they invade your privacy. Sick and tired of all of it.
“Y/N, you’re engaged, not married. There’s still time.” For a second you thought about what it would be like with Johnny, how easy it would be. The both off you are private people and you get along with his kids, so nothing bad on that front. You fiddled with the engagement ring before pulling it off; that felt much better and your hand felt a lot lighter. “I don’t think I can marry Alex. I think I made a mistake.”
You finally said it. Said the four words you’ve been trying to push down for the last two months; it felt good to say out loud. You slipped the ring in your clutch. You threw your arms around Johnny and quickly kissed his cheek. “I have to break it off with Alex.” If all went well, then you would make plans to leave L.A. before the media storm could hit. 
Maybe your place in the countryside just outside your hometown? You could only hope that this break up could go smoothly.
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rainygothherowolf · 3 years
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Daminette- Oblivious Idiots
Ladybug groans her face in a pillow as she freaks out a little a lot.
"How'd you figure it out? I'm not that obvious, am I? Do you think he knows? He can't know, that would be awful- ohhhh NonononononoNOnonononooooo. No. Please, tell me he doesn't know." Ladybug is laying face down on the couch in the living room of Titans Tower, Beast Boy smirking down at her reaction to being found out. The boy just brought up her rather obvious crush, and now the Parisian hero is a little panicked. If Beast Boy noticed who else did? Everyone on the team is really smart.
The Parisian joined the Titans over a year ago after asking the Justice League for help. She fits into the team’s dynamic really well, playing video games with Beast Boy and Kid Flash; hanging out with Star and binging rom-coms; Raven was a tough nut to crack but didn’t seem to mind hanging out. They did get along but respected that they just had very different interests.
Robin is a completely different story, at first he was rude but the bluenette was stubborn. She wasn't going to deal with his bratty attitude, she sticks up for her herself. At some point, the Parisian earns his respect. They became friends over time, working well together though Robin insisted they train so she could improve her technique.
"It's kinda obvious for me, but he's pretty dense. Bats are always idiots when it comes to emotions n' stuff." The young Parisian hero looks up from her pillow.    
"I know that... he's my best friend. Friend- Merde. What if he sees me just as a friend!?" The bluenette's hands go to her hair, eyes blown wide. It takes everything in Beast Boy not to laugh at how blind the girl is being. Does she not see how smitten the fourth Robin is for her? That he acts more like a human being when she's around?
"No, what if all he ever sees in me is a friend? This isn't good, then we'll never date and he's just so datable. Have you seen the way his nose crinkles when he tastes something he doesn't like, holding it until it goes away? And the way he swoops his hair, I'd bet it's soft. And he's so strong-"
"Ew. I have ears, please don't-" Ladybug doesn’t seem to hear him, continuing her rant. 
"And then one day I'll have to watch him fall for someone, I think I already have. It's awful- not that I'm not happy he's happy, because I am- but I think he likes Raven. They spend so much time together, sneaking off sometimes."
"I bet they like each other, how could I compete with her. She's amazing, and- and I'm not." The bluenette's tone goes from one of acceptance to defeat.
"Oh, okay, we got serious. Uh- don't cry." When he and Raven went over the plan, they hadn't covered the possibility of a) Ladybug thinking Robin and Raven were a thing; or b) that Ladybug would compare herself to Raven. The Parisian is always so self-confident and optimistic, perfect even- she never lets anyone get her down. She huffs at his less than helpful response.
"I'm not gonna cry. It's just, why would he like me? I'm pretty sure he thinks I'm annoying." The girl stands pacing, trying to decipher the enigma that is Robin. The girl's moods changes at the drop of a dime, leaving Beast Boy to try and play catch-up.
"Am I  annoying to him? Probably. Raven is so calm and nice, he has no reason not to like her."
"That's definitely not true, if he thinks that he would tell you." She nods, sitting on the couch, leaning on her hands. His words help a little but a girl’s mind is her worst enemy, all the worst 'what if's' popping into her brain like spam mail in an already full mailbox.
This is going to take more intervention than he thought. "You're ridiculous, that isn't true."
"You're just blind, and as you would say- 'you're too close.'" Robin rolls his eyes, Raven is sitting on her bed as Robin looks at her, standing.
"All I'm saying is-"
"I understand what you said, you don't need to repeat it. All I'm saying is-" He mocks, "- that it's highly unlikely she'd be interested in me." This time Raven rolls her eyes, he really is an idiot.
"How can I prove it to you- just ask her out. She'll say yes."
"I don't trust you, you have no proof."
"Fine. Don't believe me, but mark my words, if you wait too long she might settle for someone else. You heard her complain about being mobbed on Valentines day last year."
"Whatever, she didn't like any of them."
"Yeah, because she likes you." Robin glares at Raven as he walks out of her room to go train. Robin first saw her as annoying but she grew on him. He mistook his interest in her as friendship until Raven commented on his liking their latest addition without telling her. It went downhill from there, now it’s like he can’t get her off his mind.
He tried to deny it, reason a way out of the conclusion. Raven did her best to encourage him but she was getting nowhere, the entire team was frustrated because both refused to see what was staring them right in the face.  Beast Boy and Raven meet with Starfire after both Ladybug and Robin go back to their respective home cities.
"What did you the learn?" Beast Boy speaks up first, recounting his confronting Ladybug about it. 
"She's got it bad, thinks he and Raven are into each other." 
"Robin is convinced she doesn't like him. He doesn't want to get rejected so he refuses to ask her out."
"How can we tell him she likes him that he actually does the listening?"
"He'd only be convinced if he heard her say it." Raven reasons, knowing how blind and hard headed Robin is.
"There's no way she'll fess-up, she's too insecure. Even if we convinced her that Robin wasn't into you."
"I wish the little D could just hear her say it in passing. He would ask without fear and she'd get to date him without putting herself out there." Beast Boy can already see it, it’s the perfect plan. 
"I'm sure I could get her to talk about it in the hall, you could get him close enough to hear?" Beast Boy offers, it could work but they can't see each other.
"We'll use the hallways on the fifth floor, that are separated by a wall and meet towards the elevator?"
"Sounds great, Mama." Raven rolls her eyes at his nickname for her. Starfire looks between the two before abruptly standing, trying to hide her smile.
"Yes, well, I must attend to some dishes. Farewell." The two shared a look. Perhaps it isn't only Robin and Ladybug that need to come clean.
"We gotta say something sooner than lat-"
"I know, but not yet. We could use this to our advantage..." "Right? So I had to go all the way to the other side of the city to deliver this banner, it was worth it though. The skater friend won."
"Do they still race? You said this was a normal way to spend your weekend."
"O-oh well, I don't see them much anymore." Ladybug's shoulders turn inwards, looking to the floor. Robin hates the small frown on her lips, he knows better than to pry but maybe if he got some more information he could help.
"How come?"
"Just, time. Grew apart I guess."
"You're an awful liar."
"I take that as a compliment!" Ladybug defended, smiling slightly. "You see, while Mr.-Tall,-Dark,-Handsome,-and-Mysterious is making up lies he has to keep straight I'm simply seen as an airhead that forgets her phone everywhere she goes!"
"You're even worse at changing the subject." Ladybug's smile falters.
"Hehe, yeah, have you seen Star? She said she had the cutest picture of you asleep in your costume with some dog." Robin crosses his arms, why is she avoiding the subject?
"I have plenty of pictures of 'the dog' but please-" He pats the seat next to him on his bed, "-elaborate on this 'growing apart' situation." He isn't going to give in, he has that face he used to do during training when she was too tired to get up. Ladybug sit, plopping onto the bed her arms spread across the comfortable fabric of the duvet.
"I can't say much, just that they don't want to be friends with me anymore. None of them do."
"Who's none of them?"
"My friends. All of them, only one does but they 'can't' be my friend. He just doesn't have enough of a backbone."
"Surely you have other friends besides the mindless heathens."
"School and hero duties add up, I hardly have enough time to keep up with my jobs. I don't have time for that, and they could get suspicious, notice the patterns where my old friends would see the clumsy forgetful me." He nods, laying on his back and turning to look her in the eye.
"At least I have you guys." She smiles, brushing some hair from Robin's forehead. It feels nice.
"If it were up to me-"
"It isn't, and it's best not to dwell. Come on, bird boy, let's get a snack."
"Right, but none of that hot chocolate nonsense." She rolls her eyes, she'll get him to try it. One day.
"Are we sure this is gonna work?" Beast Boy is unsure, Raven hadn't seen the way Ladybug reacted, it was like no matter what he said her mind found some way to turn it into a bad thing, like she could only see the worst in a situation. It was completely unlike her.
"Yes."
"But-"
"No 'but's', this will give Robin the push he needs to ask her out. She'll say yes. End of story."
"Then why are we planning the the thing with the mo-"
"In case he's more dense than humanly possible and because it's time people knew."
"Right... I'll wait till ten minutes from now to get her to walk past, you have till then to get him there, we'll take two laps just in case." Raven nods before going to look for Robin. She finds him in the living room, reading a book. 
“Come.” Raven turns around and makes her way towards the elevator, he catches up and they ride to the fifth floor. They exit and hide behind the designated wall. 
"You are not to make a sound, simply wait and listen.”
They wait.
And listen.
It takes ten minutes for something to happen, the elevator bell rings and opens at their floor. Raven motions for him to stay quiet. Robin hears to footsteps as someone sighs.
"-How could I not? He's just so- dreamy."
"Ew. Why do you even like him? You're too nice for him."
"I am not 'too nice' and Robin is not mean... He's just... gruff- yeah, gruff, at first. But you should have seen how cute it was when we were talking about something and I was laying and he laid down next to me and there was hair blocking his eyes a little so I swiped it out of the way and it was so soft." She says it all in one breath which should be concerning if Robin’s attention wasn’t being taken up by trying to not freak out. His eyes wide, back pressed against the wall so as not to get caught. She keeps talking, he has to hear more.
She sounds so sure of her affection, like it’s the most natural thing in the world. She likes him? Like to date? Raven is right? This is impossible, but it was happening. She’s ranting about things not even he notices about himself like they’re the most amazing things in the world.
"And have you seen him smile? And his laugh, it's one of my favorite things about him. And did you notice the way he always perks up when there's a happy animal on the television, like it reminds him of something- I'd bet he has an animal. I wish I could have a pet." They kept walking, she kept rambling about him, his hair, his smile, the way he walked. He heard the voices fade at she and Beast Boy kept walking.
"I told you." Robin didn't even have a response, she feels the same way?
"She likes me?"
"You've got to be joking, after all that, you still don't believe it?"
"Shut up, I'm processing." Raven crosses her arms, impatiently waiting, they'll loop back soon.
"She likes me."
"Just keep listening." Ladybug and Beast Boy came back into earshot. When they got closer, Beast Boy cut her off when she starts going off topic about his hair.
"So if he asked you out, what would you do?" Robin hears them stop, she makes a high pitched whine he knows means she’s flustered, she used to do it every time he glared her down and got a little too close, at the time, an unknown symptom of his attraction towards the heroine.
"I mean, if I could speak- I'd say yes but I'd probably freak out and fall or trip over my words. It doesn't matter, he wouldn't ask. Why in the world would he like me?" Raven has to remind Robin to stay quiet and hidden with a shushing motion and a hand to his shoulder. He stays in place despite the fact that he wanted to list every reason why he would. His stupid monkey brain thought of kissing her to drive his point home but shoos the intrusive thought away.
"Right, and what you'd kiss him?" It was like his teammate is reading his stupid, teenage mind.
"Pretending he liked me back? I mean, I could go on about his li-"
"Please don't." The bluenette laughs with him.
"Ah! I have to go meet Robin for training. Bye!"
"Later." The girl's footsteps disappear as the elevator door arrives and carries her towards the training room.
"Dude you better not say she doesn't like you again." Beast Boy sad, knocking on the wall to get his attention.
"Why don't you just ask her?"
"Yes, the little D, she will the gladly accept." Kor'i appears out of nowhere, he hates when she hovers like that. He can never tell where she is. He glares at them all, he’s late to meet with Ladybug. How in the world is he going to face her after that, it was so wrong to have listened. She hadn't meant for him to hear those things. Robin is filled with guilt as he walks into the waiting elevator and nears the training room. Ladybug is there smiling and slightly pink, likely from their teammate's questions.
"Are you alright?"
"Yes." He couldn't tell her he heard, she'll get embarrassed. He can't act on it either, she sounds busy enough as is. He would just be in the way.
"Are you sure?"
"Yes." He snaps at her this time, the rest of their training session is silent. She leaves back to Paris as soon as her shift is over, not staying to speak with Robin like she usually does. No one is amused by his behavior.
"What the hell? You get the confirmation you've been needing to finally ask her out and you start acting like you hate her?" Beast Boy finally exclaims, Raven kicks him under the chair.
"It's none of your business, and none of you should have interfered. I was not meant to hear any of that, she doesn't have time for me anyways." Robin gets up from his seat and walks towards the zeta-tube.
After that, things get a little better. Robin isn't rude or snappy to her but they don't talk or have their little one on one training sessions. Ladybug does everything in her power to try and rebuild the bridge she didn't know had been burnt. She doesn't know what she did wrong, what she said, what happened made Robin want to avoid her like the plague.
Is he going to leave her too?
No. It doesn't matter that he probably put two and two together and knows she likes him, that he probably likes someone else, he is her friend at the very least, it might not be enough but it’s something.
Ladybug gathers her courage, waiting for him to pass the one place she knows she can get him. Waiting right at a corner, she hears him coming. She wants to laugh when he slows, always knowing when she tries to sneak up on him, but this time she holds it in. Reminding herself of why she’s there.
Just as he comes into range, she turns the corner and faces him. 
Her face is angry, no, pissed. Her eyebrows scrunched, a deep frown replacing the usual smile, she shoves a finger onto his chest. He always knew she was there but her expression, it’s hurt and angry and world ending- his world to be specific.
"What is your deal? What the hell did I do to you that you won't even talk to me anymore? What did I say? Why do you suddenly hate me?"
"I-"
"I mean, one day we're laughing and talking, and I tell you about what happened with my friends, and then the next you don't even bother to greet me!" She berates him in French, she gets more passionate about her speech until she's out of gas. At least, that's what he thinks.
“It’s disrespectful and hurtful! You don’t just drop someone because they did something to upset you, you try to fix it. You try to work through it!” 
"I-"
"What? You what? I told you about my friends, not only did I put a lot of trust in you for that- it could have pointed towards my identity if I slipped up. You're too easy to talk to. And don't you dare say that this is just how you are because we both know you've been off lately. So just tell me! Tell me you hate me, tell me you want space, tell me somethings wrong or that I did something but just don't shrug this off. You are too important to me to just let this go!" He can see the unshed tears in her eyes, why is she crying? Why does he have to make her cry? He doesn’t deserve her tears, her affection, he doesn’t deserve her. 
"I just- I think you can do better. I’m not a good enough companion." Robin refused to use the word friend, she isn’t his friend, she’s so much more than that. A rouge tear falls, her face incredulous.
"What?"
"You sound busy enough, you'd be better off spending your time with someone else." Robin doesn’t look her in the eye, it’s the honest truth but he can’t stand looking at her so upset. 
Ladybug is at a loss, that’s why he’s upset? Because he thinks she was wasting her time? That he wasn't good enough for her to spend her time with?
It’s like a switch flips, her anger melting away. Her jabbing finger falls.
"Who could be better?" She hugs him, Damian does have some experience from Grayson so he awkwardly returns the favor. The far shorter girl sniffles once before pulling back with a smile.
Robin feels a pang in his chest, he made her cry. She wipes away the unshed tears from the corners of her eyes, glad to have the mess over and done with. He vows never to do so ever again.
"I never wanna hear you say that you're anything less than the best, c'mon time to get your butt handed to you."
"Spar?"
"You wish." Robin sighed, she always beats him in video games. As they walk, the alarm blares. There’s an attack somewhere. The duo runs towards the living room, Starfire is already there with Beast Boy, Raven, and Kid Flash.
"We've got two. There's some kind of monster tearing through down town, we need to stop them."
"And the other?" Robin asks.
"Paris, akuma." Ladybug groans, like she always does. She runs off towards the zeta tubes with a wave goodbye. Time to deal with the mangy cat's puns.
Robin and the rest of the team walk back into Titan Tower expecting to see Ladybug waiting for them, she always gets back before them in situations like this. Kid Flash speeds off after grabbing his things saying he’s late to something, as usual. Beast Boy limps, most of his weight supported by Raven as they make their way towards the med bay. 
Robin and Starfire sit in the living room, she shows him photos of Dick in ridiculous sleeping positions or mid fall but Robin is on edge. Why isn't she back yet?
Of course, he gets an immediate answer. Ladybug's distress signal goes off, he and Star are off without a moment's hesitation. Jumping into the zeta-tubes, worry for their teammate clear. After over a year of working with her she’s never used the distress button. The machine powers up and blinds them, Damian jams a communicator in his ear and tunes in to the local news station. He hears where Ladybug is and he and Starfire set off in search for the girl. Paris is bright, people stop and stare as the heroes make their way towards the Eiffel tower.
Robin's mind is hyper focused and clouded at the same time, he knows he has to be at his best to help Ladybug so he shoves all that annoying emotion in a stupid box, shuts it, locks it, and pushes it into a dark little corner. They arrive at the lawn of the Eiffel tower.
Looking exhausted, Ladybug charges the villain. A blond boy in a black cat suit is flung at her with ease. The monster tries to throw a bus full of people at the two as Ladybug tries to get the boy off, he doesn’t seem to care, trying to hug the girl. Robin feels his chest tighten in jealousy.
Robin motions towards the bus, Starfire flies past and catches the bus mid air. The dark haired teenage boy is quick to lift the ill equipped partner he's heard so very much about off Ladybug.
"I believe she is trying to get up." He drops the boy to the side before offering a hand to Ladybug.
"Hello, again." Ladybug smiles up at him, taking Robins hand. Pulling her up, the two stand close together. Staring.
"Hi."
"Shall we get back to the task at hand?!" Starfire asks, mid battle with the monster when Ladybug and Robin snap back to reality. They join the fight, Chat sticks to the sidelines with a pout. The monster is tough, she only pressed the panic button in fear of the hostages being injured or killed. Even if they were physically healed by the miraculous cure it’s traumatizing.
The battle doesn’t last very long, the monster is extremely susceptible to Robin's ice capsules, and is no match for Kor'i's strength.
Ladybug is relieved when she sees the purified akuma flap away.
"Miraculous Ladybug!" The bluenette was able to use her lucky charm quickly enough, she'd say thank you before giving Tikki food and returning to the tower to finish her shift.
"Well done."
"Thank you, you weren't too bad yourself." Marinette smiles back to the far taller boy.
"Will you be returning to the tower? Should we wait for you?"
"You are the kidding, yes? We are in Paris! I'd like to go the shopping!" Ladybug laughed.
"With what money? My brother's card is rather telling. As is your own."
"I suppose you are correct."
"Don't worry, Starfire, we can go on a shopping day soon." The girl smiled.
"Yes, the little D, would you join us? Raven may join as well, yes, Ladybug? Girls day!"
"I do not qualify as a girl."
"Little D?" Ladybug asks, smiling softly before bursting into laughter. "I need to go help the victim and recharge. I'll see you back at the tower." Ladybug turns to leave but comes face to face with Chat. 
"What are you doing here? We don't need you." He directs his comments to both of the American heroes but mostly towards Robin. Ladybug pinches the bridge of her nose.
"We are members of the Teen Titans, we were asked to come. Now if you'll excuse us-"
"What? Who asked you to come here. My lady and I would never-"
"I did, and I am not 'your lady' you need to stop with the names and trying to distract me mid-battle, Chat.” 
“But-” Ladybug gives the mangy cat no time to explain, cutting in with no patience.
“No ‘but’s, you almost got us and all those hostages killed. Go. Home.” The tro of Titan’s walk away, it’s best not to give the boy anymore attention.
"We should do it now."
"What'd you mean? He's still acting like he can't stand her."
"No, they made up. I heard her yelling at him about it. He caved pretty quickly after that. We do it tonight, no more sneaking around and hopefully they get together." Beast Boy nods, watching Raven ice his ankle for him.
"Thanks, mama."
"... You're welcome." He smiles flicking some water on his girlfriend, she looks at him with a sad excuse for a glare.
"Alright, the ice should stay. Let's go see if she's back." Raven makes sure to keep Beast Boy off his ankle, quickly shooing him off to the empty living room couch. They don’t wait long for Robin, Starfire, and Ladybug to return.
"Thanks again for coming to help, guys." Starfire smiles. Robin nods.
"It was our pleasure, what shall we do now?"
"Movie?" Beast Boy asks, getting immediate yeses from the girls.
"I'll pass-"
"Come on." Raven complains, the guy can be such a pain.
"tt, no. That doesn't work on me."
"Pretty please?" Starfire asks. She pulls out the baby doll eyes and a pout.
"No, the physical appearance of the 'please' makes no difference-"
"Please?" Ladybug pulls out all the stops, she looks him right in the eyes, those big, blue, innocent eyes were so sad and pretty, she shuffles a foot, her hands behind her back. Her bottom lip juts out ever so slightly as her torso sways back and forth. His response is immediate.
"Yes." Ladybug grins in victory, Damian doesn’t get the chance to backpedal.
"Yay!" Starfire quickly steals Robin's usual seat. Raven and Beast Boy take up one side of the couch, Robin and Ladybug take up the other. Everyone bickers and argues over which movie to watch until Robin gets annoyed and plays one of the few movies he can bear. Lion King.
Throughout the duration of the film, Beast Boy slowly pushes Ladybug closer to him laying longways until he takes up the majority of the couch. Ladybug is squished against Robin, their arms pressing uncomfortably against each other. Deciding to test the waters, Robin wraps an arm around the Parisian's shoulder. The lights were off but the girl's blush is obvious. She has yet to move, he feels her glance in the opposite direction for a moment before leaning onto him.
Damian wasn't freaking out... Okay, Damian was only freaking out a little. He didn’t do well last time he saw she likes him. What should he do now? An annoying and sarcastic voice told him not to ignore her but they weren't much help. The little Grayson in Damian's mind told him to pull her a little closer, maybe kiss her head to make his intentions more clear. She still isn't aware of his affection towards her. He does the first, he could all but see the little Grayson smiling. Robin has no clue what to do next so he just does his best to watch the movie.
The lights come on far too soon, Ladybug doesn't move to get off him until she notices the lights turn on. She blushes that adorable shade of pink. That's when he sees it, just behind a blushing bluenette is Raven snuggling with Beast Boy as if it’s the most normal thing in the world. His brows furrow, his arm falls of Ladybugs shoulder. It was clear this isn’t a one time thing or anything of the sort. They know exactly what they’re doing, they’ve been seeing each other and she didn't tell him. After all the times he spoke about Ladybug, she didn't care to mention her own relationship.
Ladybug follows his line of sight, her posture goes from relaxed to tense.
To Marinette it’s like confirmation to something she knew all along, he likes Raven. Maybe he only wrapped his arm around her because of how squished they were. Which means she completely misread the situation and leaned onto him when he was just trying to be comfortable.
"I knew it!" Starfire exclaims, beaming. Raven just looks away trying or hide her small smile. Ladybug is happy their happy but Robin just walks away, his face neutral. She hates when he makes that face. Soon Starfire has to leave and Beast Boy hobbles to his room, ankle still tender.
Ladybug's overthinking keeps her in place, staring at her hands. She doesn’t even notice that Raven is still in the room with her.
"You should go talk to him."
"W-what? Me? No, he doesn't want to talk to me." Ladybug tried to say no but she couldn't help but be worried for Robin. Raven gives her a look, she relents.
"Fine." Ladybug drags herself to where she knows he'll be. He was always on the roof when he has to think. She mentally prepares herself for an undeniable, verbal confirmation that he doesn't like her, she forces herself to go- to be there for him.
"Go away." Damian is in no mood to deal with Raven, how could she not tell him?
"You can't get rid of a bug that easily, Rob." He chastises himself for being rude to Ladybug again, at least she doesn't sound upset because of it. She doesn't say anything, sitting next to him as they look over the brightly lit cityscape.
"Wanna talk about it?" He doesn't respond. The little Grayson, encouraged by the success of last time, tries to get Damian to hold her hand. Their hands were so close, just a few inches apart. That definitely isn't happening. "Right..." She trails off, not knowing what else to say. The silence grows, unchecked like a cancer.
"I- Just- Why wouldn't she tell me? After-" Robin was about to say too much but thankfully stopped himself.
"After what?" He’s relieved she’s still ignorant of his affection, putting himself out there like that’s a scary thought.
"Nothing. Nevermind."
"After you told her you like her." She speaks with such certainty, like she’s accepted it as fact. Is that what she really thought?
"What? No- I just- confided in her about something similar. I expected she'd do the same. She's one of my best friends." He sees Ladybug nod, that same look of  on her face.
"I'm sure she didn't mean to hurt your feelings. They probably just wanted to keep it quiet until they were ready to tell everyone." Robin had to admit she was probably right. He saw the way her hands fiddled and folded, she was trying to think of something to talk about, likely to distract him. She was always so considerate.
"So... girlfriend."
"Where'd you hear that?" He was so confused, the very idea is ridiculous.
"Well, you said you confided in Raven about something similar. I just assumed you had a partner."
"Oh. No." They sat in silence again, looking over the silent harbor. Damian gathers his courage, now is the perfect time- looking over a clear sky with the stars out. Isn't this the kind of situation girls daydream about? Now was the most likely time for her to accept. Deciding to just get it out, Damian starts speaking.
"Actually there's-"
"I know you probably don't-" Of course, just as Robin starts speaking, she does too. Alarm bells start ringing in his head, the little Grayson is trying to figure out what she was going to say while the rest of him starts freaking out.
They awkwardly laugh, looking away, Damian feels an unfamiliar little burning sensation on his cheeks. He’s loosing more of his nerve by the second.
"ILikeYou,LikeLikeLike." She just blurts it out, redder than her costume. Damian's head snaps to her with his lips parted. This is happening.
"I feel the same way. I- I apologize I didn't say so sooner I just- you said you were so busy already, I didn't want to become a distraction." Ladybug gives him a small smile, that was what that was about. She fondly wipes the hair from his forehead back, lacing her fingers through his hair. Her hand rested at the back of his neck, smiling. She looks so content, at peace.
"I see no issue in distractions."
"I suppose this is the part of the story where we kiss?" Robin puts a hand on the Parisian's cheek, inching closer. They move to close the gap until they were just a hairsbreadth away. Her eyes are so blue and so beautiful up-close.
"I suppose you'd be correct." Their lips meet, the beautiful night sky behind them- everything else melting away.
205 notes · View notes
thran-duils · 3 years
Text
Use All of Me (P.5)
Title: Use All Of Me (Part Five) Summary: Fem!Reader x Dark Mob!Steve Rogers. The Avengers are heroes saving the world but in this AU, they are also permitted by the powers in charge to have less than favorable business underneath their guise of mere superheroes. Steve and Tony are at the helm, keeping their empire’s wealth in check, both devious and perilous if crossed. Steve takes a liking to the reader at a party and it may be her undoing to her autonomy choosing to go home with him. Words: 2,889 Warnings: Dark AF, angst, emotional/mental abuse, smut, breeding, death Author’s Notes: This relationship is going to go ~downhill~ from healthy really quick. Please do not read if that is going to offend you.
Part Four || Part Six || Masterpost (mobile) || Fanfic masterpost
You ate in silence at your dining table. Tears still stung at your eyes, no matter how you tried to hold them back. Your mind was racing, trying to still make sense of what had happened. Steve had never been that aggressive with you. Sure, he had been heated outside the club when he had found you flirting with Joseph. But he had not frightened you; he had not become an imposing shadow, stealing away your ability to speak what you felt.
He had not mentioned children more than a handful of times, commenting he wanted them. It had seemed harmless enough; wanting children was a normal ambition for people. But the way he reacted… he was showing a completely different side. Domineering. Maybe that is who he truly was and your defiance to his desire triggered it.
“That going down all right?” Steve questioned, genuine care in his tone, interrupting your thoughts.
“Obviously,” you muttered before you could stop yourself.
Steve stilled for a moment, tossing a scrutinizing look over at you. You ducked your head again, taking another bite. He waited a few moments, still studying you. When he turned away, you felt the tension relax in your frame.
You excused yourself to bed after finishing your soup. It was only 8:30pm but you just wanted to sleep. Steve informed you he was staying the night – not to your surprise.
He came up behind you, his strong arm wrapping around you. You sniffled and he peered over your shoulder. “Hey,” he said gently. His fingers came up underneath your chin, turning your head to look at him. “Oh, doll. I know you’re scared. But I’m right here. I promise.” He was calm, caring just like you knew him to be. And that made the situation even more confusing, more tears overflowing. He leaned down, shushing you quietly, laying soft kisses along the side of your face. “You’re going to be okay. I’m not leaving. Okay?”
You licked your lips and whispered, “Okay.”
<> <> <>
Thankfully, you had Fridays off having a four ten-hour day schedule, so you did not have to suffer the embarrassment of calling in for the fourth day in a row. You did not think it was possible for you to keep yourself together if you had to explain to your boss why you were not coming in.
You slept in past 8:00am. How you had managed to sleep almost twelve hours was surprising but you amounted it to the stress.
When you came out of the bedroom, Steve was standing in the living room, staring out the window, on the phone. You saw there was a plate of pancakes and bacon – that is what had initially roused you from your sleep. You were a little queasy but the carbs might help make you feel better.
Steve heard the floor creak and he tossed you a smile in acknowledgment. “Yes, exactly. On Monday would be perfect. We can get everything packed up over the weekend.” You stilled, your eyes moving to his back. “And how much is that going to be? I can have the money wired or if you need a card the day of, that works too.”
You slowly sat down grabbing an empty plate and taking some of the pancakes slowly, focusing most of your attention on his conversation.
“Uh huh. Yep, that’s the address, correct. Steve Rogers.” He paused and chuckled. “Yes, I am. No. No, it’s not my place. It’s my girlfriend’s. Mhmm.”
You realized you had poured too much syrup on your pancakes, not paying attention. You swore under your breath quickly upturning the bottle to place it back on the table.
“Perfect. Thank you.”
He hung up, turning around to face you. “Oh, good. I made that for you.” He began texting.
“What… who were you talking to?” you asked.
“Moving service.”
“A moving service?”
Steve did not spare you a glance as he continued to type, “Yes. I want you to move in with me. It would make me feel more relaxed having you close.”
“I can’t move in with you.” That caught his attention. You swallowed sharply seeing the look on his face, but you pressed on, pointing out, “It’s too far away from work. That is a long commute for me.”
“You don’t have to worry about that. You quit.”
Astounded at his nonchalant attitude about your career, you protested, “I don’t want to quit, Steve. I can still work. I’m pregnant, not disabled.”
“I’m sure you can,” he responded. “But I don’t want you to. And you don’t have to worry about doing it yourself. I already visited your employer this morning and let her know you wouldn’t be coming back. So, like I said, you quit.”
You felt like the air had been kicked out of you. You thought he had meant that you should quit, not that it had already been done. And done without your consent.
“You did what?” you asked in disbelief after a few moments of staring at him, gaping like a fish.
He stopped typing again and locked eyes with you. He explained slowly, “I went to your employer and explained to her you wouldn’t be coming back in. She understood.”
“She ‘understood’? What did you do?”
Steve narrowed his eyes, his hands dropping a little. He asked tensely, “What is that supposed to mean?”
Holding back an accusation of him being forceful, you instead switched gears to hopefully garner sympathy. “Steve! You… you probably just ruined my chances of getting a job again in this field. Word travels! I can’t just… quit! After being out of the office for three days. It’s not a good look!”
“This is how it was going to end up anyway. It just happened faster than planned.”
“How what was going to end up?”
“You were not going to be working forever. You don’t need to. Not if you’re married to me and we have children together.”
A scoff escaped, “I don’t remember being a part of that conversation. You’re taking everything away from me! And I’m sorry, marriage?”
He stalked over to the table, tossing his phone down. He placed his hands on the back of the char across from you, leaning on it. “Taking away from you? Y/N, I’m giving you everything!”
“How? By forcing me to have a child I am not sure I want? Or using your power to just up and quit my job – especially without my agreement? Making me move in with you – AGAIN, without my agreement? You’re making all these decisions about my life without speaking with me!”
“About our life, Y/N. This isn’t just about you. That’s a very childish way to think about it.” Your mouth fell open at that, him calling you selfish. He pointed at himself, “I am making all the hard decisions because you’re demonstrating to me you only want to take the easy way out. Is that how you solve problems, Y/N? I thought you more mature than that, but I have been proven wrong. It’s frankly disappointing.”
Scornfully, you asked, “Well, if you think me so immature, then why are you insisting we go through with this? I mean, what immature person could take care of a baby?”
“You’ll have help,” Steve said, piqued. “Pepper is giving me recommendations for nannies.” You scoffed again, looking away from him, trying not to cry from your frustration. Steve growled, “You should be grateful. With how loose you have shown yourself to be, it could have been anyone that knocked you up.” You snapped your head back to stare at him, hurt. He shook his head seeing your expression, his eyes cold. “Even after you showed you were all too ready to move on quickly and have another cock between your thighs as if I meant nothing, I forgave you. I had already fallen for you. I couldn’t let you slip away – I won’t let you slip away.” He pointed at you aggressively. “You should be thanking me, not backtalking me. I won’t tolerate it. Not from you. My patience is wearing thin, so drop the damn attitude! You hear me?”
You said nothing, glaring at him, biting your cheeks.
Steve said more forcibly, “Y/N, I expect a damn answer.”
Tightly, you got out through gritted teeth, “I heard you.”
The tension in the room could be cut with a knife.
“Good,” he said tersely. “You should think about what I said. I’m doing this for us.” He stared at you for a few more moments, as if he was waiting for you to retort something. You were past that, knowing it was not going to help you right now. He seemed satisfied with your silence, pushing away from the table and grabbing his phone. “Eat your breakfast.”
<> <> <>
Feet tucked up underneath you on the couch in front of the large fireplace, you texted Natalie.
What do you mean you quit?
Steve insisted I don’t have to work. I’m going to be taken care of.
So, you’re throwing your career away because you got pregnant? You do realize you can have both, correct?
Your instinct was to text back that you knew that, but you were afraid to. Because you were unsure if Steve would ask to see your phone and be irked by what he saw.
I know. Having some time off might be good during this though.
It’s going to be more than a year, Y/N. You’re going to lose a lot of time!
I know. But I’ll be fine. I’ll figure it out.
It had been tense with Steve for the last few days, you feigning sickness more often than usual. You thought he could see through the charade but he did not call you out as a liar. It was going to come to a head at some point; his lust seemed to be insatiable. He had told you as such that he was craving you and could only handle so much time apart.
What you told Natalie was true, you were going to figure it out. It was too much at once. All these thoughts had been rushing through your mind. Was what he said right? It had gotten under your skin. At least in the sense that you were immature? There had to have been many people in your situation faced with this decision and so many sucked it up and grew up. Were you afraid of growing up and being a mother? Steve had taken you to the doctor earlier this morning to check on everything. You were over a month along, which means you had gotten pregnant very quickly.
You sighed, thinking for the umpteenth time that day if being pregnant with Steve was actually the end of the world or if you were making a bigger deal out of it than you needed to.
Bucky strolled into the room and you straightened up, quickly tucking your phone underneath your thigh. He noticed and cocked an eyebrow in curiosity. You gave him what you hoped was an innocent smile. Before, you would have welcomed his company with open arms but now you knew you needed to be guarded with them all. They were Steve’s friend’s, not yours.
“Steve around?” You shook your head. “Hmm, he say when he was gonna be back?”
“No,” you answered quietly.
Bucky was eyeing you and you tried to be calm underneath the scrutiny. You were not doing anything inherently bad texting your friends, but Steve had made it clear he did not want you divulging too much. You were sure the other Avengers were aware of this and agreed with him; their livelihood was at stake if you spoke or knew too much.
Coming over to the couches, Bucky sat close by, leaning back, arms draped over the back of the couch.
“How are you settling in?”
You shrugged, “Fine, enough. I guess.”
“You guess?”
“It happened really fast,” you offered.
Bucky hummed in acknowledgment, nodding. “Seems that’s how it goes most of the time.”
You did not like it moving fast, that was the problem.
“I’ll give you an update after it’s over,” you sighed.
“You sound miserable.”
You just averted your eyes, giving a slight shrug.
“You’ll get used to it, Y/N,” Bucky said reassuringly. “Steve cares a lot for you. And he’s always wanted a family. This is perfect for him, so he’s going to be a little intense. He’ll chill out. Trust me. I’m his best friend and all.”
Being bold, you locked gaze with him and said coolly, “I just wish I had some say in it. It is my body after all if everyone somehow forgot.”
Let him tell Steve that. Maybe it would sink in differently if it came from Bucky.
Bucky instead of looking taken aback, actually looked impressed. “There it is. That fire Steve said you had.” You were unsure if you should take that as a compliment or not. He shifted forward, his elbows resting on his knees. He pierced you with a serious look, “Some advice though… you did give yourself to him the moment you got in bed with him. He’s going to have final say, and as I’m sure you know, he doesn’t like pushback. And I’m sure not especially from you.”
Wasn’t that the truth.
“I would realign that fire to becoming the wonderful mother we all know you can be rather than resisting him. It won’t end well that way. He’s not a man to cross.” He paused before adding, “He’ll give you the stars as long as you do as he asks.”
You were quiet, letting what he said sink in.
Bucky sat in silence was well, watching you closely.
Was this going to just be your life now? Living in this large house, waiting for your child to arrive and then continue staying here, rearing children for Steve? Bucky’s point was clear: you were not leaving here, let alone him, unless Steve gave you permission to.
“I need time,” you said stiffly. “It is a lot to take in.”
“I’m sure. But you are in perfect hands.” He got up from the couch. “I’ll go wait in his study so I don’t continue bothering you.” His gaze flicked to where your cell phone was hidden for a split second.
You nodded in acknowledgment, electing to stay quiet as he walked past you towards the stairs.
<> <> <>
As soon as Bucky was in Steve’s office, he shot him a quick text.
She’s being sneaky about her phone.
It did not take long for Steve to respond.
Don’t worry about it. I’ll see if she says anything I don’t like. She’s being good so far.
Bucky snorted reading the text. “Sneaky bastard,” he muttered.
<> <> <>
A week later, Steve was at it again. He came up behind you in the bathroom mirror, his arms wrapping around you as you dried your face after your face scrub. His hands played with the hem of your short robe.
“Don’t,” you said, pulling away from him.
Steve’s face darkened and he grabbed your wrist, stopping your forward motion. He yanked you back to him and you winced at the tug. His hand came up to grip your other wrist, holding them in between you.
“What did we talk about, Y/N?”
You tried to pull away again and he held fast. You pleaded, “Steve. Please. I just want to sleep.”
“You had all day to sleep. And you’ll have all night after I’m finished,” he told you, pulling you closer. His forehead rested on yours, his eyes closed. “I haven’t seen you all day. But you didn’t leave my mind, baby.”
You swallowed sharply at his intimate confession.
His hands left your wrist, finding the ribbon on your robe instead and undoing it. He pushed the robe from your shoulders, letting it fall to the ground. He hummed in approval seeing the babydoll you were wearing; it was the pink, satin one you had put on when he had brought you home from your first date.
“You look gorgeous,” he murmured.
You gave in, letting his tongue slip past your lips. Steve’s hand ghosted up your thigh underneath your babydoll and in between your thighs. He groaned against your lips, his fingers delving past your folds. His thumb caressed you, working you up, despite your initial disdain about being in his arms.
Steve picked you up, your legs wrapping around his waist. On your back on the bed, he slipped inside you. He did not draw it out, going right for it, panting and groaning above you. Steve always made sure you came before he did, his stamina being superior to yours. He held you close as you tightened around him, your legs quivering. When he came, his head fell beside yours, resting on the pillow. You were pinned beneath his immense weight for a minute before he pushed away from you, hovering overhead.
Steve trailed kisses down your abdomen, causing you to shiver.
“Can’t wait to see you heavy with my baby. You’ll look perfect,” he husked against your skin. “I love you so much.”
He meant it too. He did love you. And that did not bode well for you for whenever you did escape.
~~~
Tags: @imsonick , @alexakeyloveloki, @kvzctam, @ironlady1993, @taintedgenre, @inlovewiththefictionalcharacters
214 notes · View notes
jaedreaminn · 3 years
Text
‘Anti Bully Buddy’
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Summary
You weren't someone who would take shit from others and a were naturally protective of the ones you loved, but the world just didn't work out in your favour and you always became the bad guy.
Enter Tall, Handsome new guy with too much free time and a goody two shoes complex who's forced to stick by you.
Huh, maybe the world was working in your favour this time...
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Pairings: Kun x fem!reader
Theme: Highschool, Bullying, Comical, humour, fluff.
Characters: Kun, Winwin, Ningning, Ten, oc «mentioned» Jisung.
Word Count: 3.7k
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It wasn't an uncommon phenomenon for you to find your wrists bruised and, yourself slightly wounded sitting outside the principal's office. There were three other kids sitting opposite you and they were all three years below.
The principal walked out, looked at you and sighed “Bullying these kids again y/n?”
Your head hung low as anger started to boil inside you and you clenched your fists that were on your lap.
“Sorry ma'am” you forced out through gritted teeth.
Here's the thing those three kids belonged to very influential parents in the school so no matter what you said you were always the bad guy. The bully. But you didn't mind it. That reputation helped keep a lot of unwanted people in your life away.
The three boys sat in front of you with smirks and bruises on their faces. You didn't mind the title of bully, but you didn't like when the three devil incarnates always got away with what they did because it was YOU who was deemed bully.
“And that to kids who are your juniors?” The principal scoffed “This is happening way to often, and I don't like it” she said sternly, but you couldn't bother it was the same every time. She'll scold you a bit more and then give you some sort of creative punishment she worked up, and then you go home.
“Well we'll sign you up for the anti bully program I guess” the principal looked at you and sighed while you looked at her, confused.
One of the demons sitting opposite you spoke up asking her your doubt “Anti bullying? Isn't it supposed to help the victim not the bully?”
The principal smiled slightly at the boy “It's a newer approach where we assign someone to keep an eye on the bully, so they don't cause trouble. We could protect one victim, but the bully will just bully someone else” the principle smiled, and you frowned. That means your privacy will be taken away. Not that you do anything secretive, but you just aren't that fond of people.
You groaned and the principal glared at you “We already have volunteers” the principal said sternly her glare still on you “I'll check through whose schedule matches yours the most and tomorrow you're getting your anti bully buddy” the principal said sternly “Or how I like to call it A.B.B” the principal said the last part turning to the three boys giving them a quick smile.
“I'll see you in my office first thing tomorrow y/n” the principal said to you while flashing you a rather strict looking smile. You gave a slight nod and left.
It might be surprising to many how you could take on three boys at once. It had to do with your dad. He was a great fighter and told you that if there ever was a day he couldn't protect you, you should know how to fight. And so you learned, you went for karate classes and learned hand-to-hand combat. But it wasn't something you took very seriously, but then your mom died giving birth and everything went downhill. Your dad wasn't the same anymore, but he had to push through to raise your baby brother, but he was mostly drunk and spiraling while your aunt swooped in and handled the baby, and you were left alone. You needed an escape from that, so you spent more time at your dojo practicing and practicing and using it as a way to let your anger out. Because you knew you would crumble too if your brain didn't focus on something. But slowly everything got better, and you were starting to function normally as a family again. Your dad could smile again. But things changed again and your dad met someone. She made him happy, so you approved of her, so they got married. But they forgot you and your baby brother. Don't get them wrong they were good to both of you providing you with everything you needed and were never harsh or mean but to them, it was as if you weren't part of the family. It was easy for them to forget you. The person who you loved the most forgot you and moved on. And so you did to. You moved on and learned to live with it. And did the best for your brother too. He was the last memory of your happy family with mom and dad. And well know your only family that actually felt like family.
You were so lost in your own thoughts that you didn't realise when you reached class and when it ended. But all you knew was that it was lunchtime now.
“So another fight I see” Ten, one of your closest friends said with a smirk. “They deserved it” you grunted as you sat down next to him.
“I don't doubt that” Ten hummed out and just then two trays were slammed down onto the table in between you and ten. “So another fight and what is your punishment this time?” Ningning who slammed your and Ten's tray of food asked as she grabbed her own tray from Winwin who was behind her and sat down next to you. Winwin took the last seat available on the small circular table, between Ten and Ningning.
“How is jisung?” Winwin asked concerned.
“I got there in time, but he was hurt so he's resting in the infirmary right now” you said grimly.
You the looked at Ningning “Ohhh my punishment might just be the worst one yet because there is going to be someone who will FOLLOW me wherever I go in school to make sure I'm not causing trouble.” she gave a small chuckle at your irritation.
“Not that bad your lonely ass will make one more new friend” Ten said cheekily with an awfully cheeky grin on his stupid face. You punched him lightly and he dramatically fell back and threw his hand over his head and gasped “You wound me y/n” you just rolled your eyes and smiled and then naturally your group fell into conversation.
After you returned home from school and once diner was done (it was just you and jisung for diner) you lay on bed smiling. The day wasn't that bad except for the incident in the morning. You then frowned remembering what was to happen tomorrow.
Tomorrow came in a blink of an eye, and you were now seated in the principal's office next to this...guy. He had blond hair that extended below his eyes, but his eyes weren't covered because his hair was neatly parted showing his dark chocolate brown eyes. He had given you a smile when you entered, and you also saw that he had dimples. The cutest dimples that you had ever seen. But in all fairness you hadn't seen that many dimples because you didn't know that many people- you've mainly just seen pictures of people with dimples. But still his were cuter than the pictures.
“So this is your A.B.B” the principal said pointing at the boy beside you and he gave a small smile, you noticed him slightly cringe at the name.
Your principal started to speak cheerily “His name is Kun! But then her cheer fades and she said darkly "If you attack him too you're getting expelled”
You turned towards Kun and forced a smile. Kun smiled at you, again. He genuinely smiled and his teeth might have actually sparkled by how bright the smile was.
“Now off to class you two have the same schedule except for one class at the end of the week” the principal said and got to the work that was on her desk as you and Kun left.
Your smile dropped, and you turned to Kun “Look” you started, and he looked at you expectantly “You don't have to take this seriously cus I'm not really a bully per se so just mind your own business, and I'll mind mine”
Kun frowned “That's not going to help you get away with it and plus it's my job to stick by you whether you like it or not. I cannot have you bully people. It's sad that you find the need to pick on people and I hope to help you stop”.
You narrowed your eyes “I don't pick on people. You don't even know me”.
Kun sighed “I was already filled in on how you bully the kids from a younger class by the principle. I know your probably going through those teenage angst phases and that's okay I'll help you through it” Kun said not noticing the change in mood and how you were about to snap. “And maybe that is because you don't get along with your brother but beating him and his friends up and sending him to the infirmary isn't goo-” “What would you know” you interrupted him in a low hiss.
“YOU” you yelled stabbing his chest with your finger “DON'T KNOW 𝑨𝑵𝒀𝑻𝑯𝑰𝑵𝑮” you yelled emphasizing the anything as you continued stabbing him in his chest with your finger and then stormed off to your first class.
Kun stood there dumbfounded for a second but then immediately snapped out of his dazed state and realized that you had already left and began to run after you to your shared first class.
The entire day consisted of kun following you around and trying to start conversation with you and you trying to ditch him and ignoring him.
Lunch came and he followed you then too. You turned to him annoyed, but he smiled “Aren't you going to have lunch?” You asked clearly mad “Of course I'm going to have lunch” he said with his seemingly constant smile but didn't move.
“So why are you still here?”
“Like it or not” he said in a sing-song tone “I'm going to be having lunch with you”
“Ugh” you rolled your eyes and stomped towards the cafeteria. You soon saw Ten and Ningning already at the table conversing with each other.
You approached the table with Kun on your tail and Ningning and Ten looked at you confused but only for a few short seconds, soon Ten's eyes lit up knowingly “Oh A.B.B!” Ten exclaimed pointing at Kun who just awkwardly smiled.
“You can call me Kun" Kun smiled.
“But I like A.B.B.” Ten frowned.
“And I prefer Kun” Kun said a bit sternly.
“Kun works too I guess” Ten sighed.
You rolled your eyes at the exchange and sat down. A tray of food was already placed on the table for you and winwin, but you couldn't see your Jisungs tray.
“Where's…”
“Oh ji took his tray and is sitting with his friends in the garden” Ningning said noticing you look for him.
“Kun if I knew you'd be joining us we would have got a tray for you too” Ningning smiled at him apologetically.
“Oh it's alright I'll get my own tray and sorry for just imposing in on you guys but I have to follow y/n around.” he apologized and left to get his tray.
Ningning smiled “He's sweet”
“Not when he's following you around 24/7” you groaned and Ten snickered. Just then Winwin arrived and sat down.
“What misery of y/n's are we laughing at today” Winwin asked, and you glared at him. Ningning just smiled but Ten spoke “oh her A.B.B is here and is going to be following her around throughout the day” Ten snickered.
“Ohh that's nice less trouble for our tiny bully” Winwin said patting your head, and you sneered at him.
“I'm not that short, and I can take you so don't test me”
Winwins eyes widened at the very real threat for a second before he flashed one of his adorable smiles, and you could no longer be mad at him. That's the thing. Everyone loved Winwin. And that's why the brat got away with everything he did.
“Sicheng?” someone called from behind you and everyone turned to see Kun standing there with his tray shocked.
“Kun ge?” Winwin asked his eyes scrunching in confusion before the widened, and he was smiling again.
“Kun ge! What are you doing here” Winwin said immediately getting up and hugging Kun.
“I just transferred to this school three days ago” Kun said one hand wrapped around Winwin and the other holding his tray.
“That's why I haven't seen you before” Ningning muttered under her breath but you and Ten heard it too.
“Oh, and I'm y/n's anti bully buddy to so” Kin said laughing nervously.
“Wait really” Winwin jumped up in happiness and turned towards you “Kun ge was from my old school, and he helped me a lot there” Winwin said beaming at your group. Winwinw was the latest addition to your friend group around two years ago.
Ten had made friends with him first and you and Ningning easily grew fond of him too.
“Yes sicheng and I were really close-”
“Sicheng? Who's that?” Ten asked and you, Winwin and Ningning gave him a deadpanned look.
“Umm Ten.. Winwin's real name?” Ningning said and Ten's jaw dropped and Winwin scoffed in disbelief and threw Ningning's banana at him earning a smal protest from her and a whine from Ten who was hit in the face.
“As Kun ge was saying we were close, but I lost contact when I changed my phone number.” Winwin changed the subject still glaring at Ten while taking a seat, Kun sat next to him. And soon enough your group fell into easy conversation with Kun.
You even decided to finally talk to him and Kun stopped to smile at you in shock, but continued the conversation immediately.
For the first time that day Kun was not unbearable. He was actually really cool guy and talking to him was so easy. You two then talked about everything and anything and suddenly you didn't hate him any more, couldn't hate him any more. You had a class after lunch and then a free period where you continued to talk. You even decided to take him to your favourite spot in the school: the garden.
“Y/n” he suddenly called out and you just hummed in response while continuing walking towards the garden.
“I-” he stared “I had my assumptions about you but their not true and your actually really nice and have friends who are a good influence for you too” Kun said but stopped. You stopped walking and looked at Kun, he wanted to ask you something but was waiting for your permission “go on” you said as you resumed walking.
“How come you're categorized as a bully by the principal and are always in trouble” he finally asked after a long pause.
“Because she doesn't know the truth” you sighed and muttered softly.
“What?” Kun asked not having heard you properly you were going to tell him when you heard a small bang coming from one of the inner school corridors.
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You and Kun looked at each other wide-eyed and both ran towards the sound. What you saw made your blood boil.
In front of you were the three boys that you beat up barely two days ago and on the floor agains the lockers was Jisung clutching his stomach. “Yah!” You screamed and that seemed to get their attention.
Kun who was looking at the scene unfolding wide-eyed had now come to his sense but Instead of his usually gental and calm eyes his eyes were in fierce glaring slits.
“Didn't I just teach you three a lesson yesterday” you snarled.
“Yes, and now we're teaching him a lesson. He was being pathetic and showing off in class” one of the three morons you were going to beat up spoke.
You began to charge in their direction only to be held back by a firm grip on your hand.
Kun shook his head, but you didn't care they deserved it, and you shoves his hands off you but he had other plans holding onto you tighter than before.
“Wait” he said struggling to hold you back but failing as you escaped out of his grip again, not that that was really hard to do with your training and skill, but you still waited, impatience clear on your face.
“Let me handle it” Kun said and you thought for a second about it. If anything went wrong you could still take all three of them, so you stood aside your guard up. In all honesty you wouldn't mind a different way to deal with those devils.
“So it's because he” Kun pointed at your brothers figure on the floor “is showing off? How?”
“He's getting all the answers right but refusing to help us.” One of them complained.
“Stuck up. That's what he is” the other added.
“And your solution was...?” Kun asked raising an eyebrow.
“Knock some sense into him” the third one smirked.
“So physically knock some sense into him? As in attack him... physically?” Kun asked the boys, and you were starting to get frustrated you were about to take a step ahead, but Kun held his hand out in front of you stopping you.
“Yes. You got a problem with that ha? What are you gonna do about it beat us up to?” They laughed.
“Oh yes I got a problem, but I won't beat you up. Instead,” Kun pulled his phone that out of his pocket and that's when you realised that he had been recording everything. You didn't know when he started recording or when he carefully placed the phone in his pocket with the back camera facing the boys. All you knew is that this time you got them. You couldn't before because of your school's crapy camera placement a.k.a. it being placed in only a few corridors that were close to important rooms where things could be stolen from and even those cameras were ancient.
“Instead I'll show this to the principle. And life will get easier” Kun said with a smirk on his face. It was kinda attractive but now was not the time to think about it.
Before you could register what was happening one of the boys lurched forward and tried to grab the phone but Kun simply stepped aside, and he went tripping ahead. The other two soon followed, but you had enough time to react and block them.
“So that's what..." Kun muttered still holding his phone in his hand watching you block but not attack the three. Suddenly it made sense to him, after all those conversations he realised you were very close to your brother, and he knew these three boys were also slightly influential in school. Good thing he was more influential than them Kun smirked to himself and made a run for it. He ran towards the principal's office and showed her everything.
What happened next, happened really quickly, the boys and their parents being called, acknowledgement of their bullying and your innocence, because you still used voilence, you were give a lighter and fairer punishment. All three of the boys, to their dismay had an A.B.B now, and you couldn't be happier. Oh and they also got suspended.
“Thank you” you said to Kun, and he smiled.
“Was glad I could help” his gaze then shifted to the floor “I guess I don't need to follow you any more” he said with a soft but dry chuckle.
“Yea…” you trailed off “but you could still join us?” You asked hopefully and Kun's eyes seemed to light up. “I'd like that” he smiled.
“Oh and you have to let me thank you properly” you beamed at Kun.
“You really don't need to”
“But I want to! So tell me how?”
Kun hummed in thought “Give me sometime to think about it, and I'll tell you later” he smiled and patted your head as both of you continued to make your way to class.
Time passed and things got better. You and Kun got closer than ever. You always hung out with him, either in a group or one on one. Furthermore, you found it easy and relaxing to be in his presence.
Maybe along the way you started liking his presence way more than you used to and felt for him in a more than Platonic way. But you kept it in- you aren't going to mistake his kindness for anything else.
One day when the both of you were walking to your house after you friend group parted ways after spending the entire morning and lunch together, with ice cream cones in each of your hands you remembered and asked “I never did get to repay you for how you helped tell me how can I return your favour”
“You know you don't really have to?” Kun smiled at you and immediately you felt your face go warm.
“But you know I want to”
Kun stopped in his tracks and pretend to think, you rolled your eyes at his acting but smiled nonetheless.
He then smiled and bent down leaning in, he was so close that you could see every detail on his face, even the little scar on the right side of his face “How about you take me out?” your breath hitched.
If your face felt warm earlier it was hot now. “O-out? Where do you want to go?” You bit your lip nervously as you kept reciting to your self in your head 'it isn't what you think it is. It isn't what you think it is.'
“I don't know depends on you really” Kun shrugged and then smiled again (it was as if he was trying to kill you with the number of time he gave that smile that caused you to stop breathing) “Which are your favourite dating hotspots?” and whatever defence you built up against him came crumbling down, and your jaw dropped, and you just stood there staring at him.
For a long while- like really long while because now his features fell “I mean y-you don't have to go on a date with me if you don't want to you know...” He trailed off taking a step away.
“YES! YES I'D LOVE TO GO OUT WITH YOU” you yelled and then your eyes widened, and you settled down into a more relaxed position and cleared your throat “yea sure I don't mind” you said making your voice lower and puting on a facade that Kun saw right through (obviously) because he was smiling, and you couldn't help it you smiled too.
“So Saturday's at four?” Kun asked smile still visible, but he was really nervous and you didn't need to know that.
“Yes” you said giving him a big smile.
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A/n: To the people that made it to the end....I'm sorry you read that. This is my least favorite fic among all my stuff and I honestly just posted it because I wrote this for a friend who I care for too much to have her idea hidden in my drafts forever. Well more of a demon child but yea she specifically asked for this and my conscience can't keep this hidden.
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marshmallow-phd · 4 years
Text
Nine Little Letters
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Genre: College AU, Fake Dating AU, To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before AU
Inspired By: This graphic made by @rcse-tvler​
Pairing: EXO x Reader
Summary: Just when you thought life was done shoving you down, it got much, much worse. After finding out that your latest crush was already in a relationship, you did what you always did when emotions ran high: you wrote a letter. Signed and sealed, you put it away with the eight other letters you’d written to past one-sided loves, never to be seen again. That is, until a mix up accidentally sends those letters out to their respective recipients and you find yourself in the middle of one confusing web of love. With fake relationships, insecurities, and revelations swirling around, things are bound to get a little messy.
Part: 1 I 2 I 3 I 4 I 5 I 6 I 7 I 8 I 9 I 10 I 11
This was the worst kind of humiliation. Standing there on the sidewalk staring open-mouthed at the one person you were excited to see today, you were crumbling into a million pieces. And no one even noticed. That was what made this humiliation so bad; there was no one to witness it. You were breaking and no one cared.
You should have known better, really. This morning was going too well. You had woken up on time, had a delicious, filling breakfast, and had managed to put an outfit together worthy of any Pinterest board. Your confidence was through the roof and you were going to do the one thing in your life you swore you would never do.
You were going to confess to your crush.
Signing up for math tutoring was the last thing you wanted to do. Who in the world wanted to spend their valuable free time learning more about equations and algorithms? But you needed to pass this class. It was the second time you’d taken college algebra and the thought of taking it a third time made you want to crawl under your bed. So, you buckled down and took the walk of shame into the math lab. (Yes, that was an exaggeration. Everyone knows there is no shame in getting help. Didn’t mean you had to like it.) When you got the call from your assigned tutor, you ignored it. You didn’t like talking on the phone to anyone let alone a number you didn’t recognize. No voicemail was left. Then a text came through.
Hi, (y/n)! This Kim Junmyeon! I’ve been assigned as your math tutor. When you get a chance, let me know when you’re free so we can create a schedule that works for you. Have a great day!
You waited an appropriate amount of time before replying. So, an hour and half later, you texted him your schedule and made a plan to meet up in the library the following Thursday. You marked that day on your calendar with exactly zero enthusiasm. In your head, this Kim Junmyeon was the cliché nerd from movies: dorky glasses, snort-like laugh, and clothes that looked better on a grandfather. Oh, boy were you so happy to be wrong.
Sitting down at one of the tables by the large, ceiling high windows, Junmyeon was nothing like you’d imagined. He had a sophisticated aura about him. He dressed nicely, a thin long-sleeved shirt over a patterned button down, the collar laid nicely over the top of the shirt, and was blessed with sharp, handsome features. You knew you were in trouble. But you didn’t care. You sat down at that table eagerly, ready to… learn.
For the past month and a half, you’d met Junmyeon twice a week to go over the lessons and work on the assignments. By some miracle, your grade was actually going up in the class. Somehow you were able to better comprehend the material and secretly fawn over your tutor simultaneously. At this point, you were sort of feigning how much you weren’t understanding to keep the tutoring sessions going. The nice thing about algebra, once you understood the basics, everything else built on top of it.
But today – today you had decided that you were going to step over the line from tutor and student into the realm of perhaps something more.
You liked Junmyeon. You liked his math puns and the way he scrunched his face when he thought hard about something. His lips would pucker whenever he lifted the sheet of paper to check over your work. Each time you met up with him your heart acted like it was in the middle of a NASCAR race and it was determined to win. You had it bad. This wasn’t the first time you’d had a crush like this, but you had set your mind on making this one different. This time, you wouldn’t hold it inside. You were going to be the brave one, the bold one. The fact that birds were tweeting as you rode your bike onto campus should have been a sign that things would only be downhill from there. Unfortunately, like the optimistic idiot, you took it as a positive instead.
After locking your bike up, you headed straight for the courtyard near the pond. Junmyeon had told you that he often spent his mornings there to finish up homework or to read a book (the fact that he read so much was another factor in your liking of him). In your head, he was all alone, flipping through a novel as he leaned against the trunk of a tree, looking like a prince taking a rest in the shade on a warm summer’s day. The water would be glistening in the background as a lovely, lighthearted melody played softly through the air. He would see you approach and smile that wide, brilliant smile. Your heart would skip as you sat down in the grass next to him and poured out your feelings. The daydream turned into a nightmare the second he came into view.
Junmyeon was not alone nor was he sitting under a tree with a book. He was on one of the benches, splayed out on the wooden beams with his head resting in the lap of a very pretty, more his league type of girl. She laughed as Junmyeon told a story. A delicate hand ran through his soft brown hair. Your heart fell to the ground, forming a crater at your feet.
Shoulders slumped and day ruined, you turned and headed for the student union. If today was going to suck like this, then you were going to sprinkle it with an overly sugary coffee drink. Preferably with extra chocolate drizzle. It helped - a little bit.
Your morning classes went by in a blur. You were certain you took notes, but none of the information sank in. Later you would have to transcribe your quick scribbles to a word document to help you study. You would learn the information then. By lunch, you were starting to peel yourself off the sidewalk of humiliation. Especially when the one person you could always rely on joined you for lunch.
“How did it go?”
You remained silent, continuously munching on the sandwich in your hands as your best friend sat down across from you at the small, two-person table near the middle of the cafeteria.
Baekhyun laughed his signature, SpongeBob-like laugh. “That bad, huh? I told you not to do it.”
“Technically, I didn’t do it,” you corrected. “He already has a girlfriend.”
“Ouch.”
You nodded. How could you not see this before? Did he mention having a girlfriend and you just blocked it out? Junmyeon and you talked casually between math problems, about your friends and fun things you liked to do on the weekends. He’d failed to mention one very important detail.
“Well,” Baekhyun reached over and plucked a potato chip off your plate and plopped it in his mouth, “at least you found out before you said something. I told you he wasn’t worth it.”
“Just because he has a girlfriend doesn’t mean he isn’t worth crushing on.”
“Okay. Whatever you say.”
You rolled your eyes at him. “You’re so much help.”
Ignoring your quip, Baekhyun snatched another chip. You smacked his hand, but all that managed to do was break off a few pieces, the crumbs falling to the table. Smiling proudly, Baekhyun popped the half-chip into his mouth. “So, are you just going to go home and write a letter?”
“Are you just going to go home and write a letter?” you mocked with a scrunched face.
Byun Baekhyun had been your best friend since the two of you had met in the first grade. He’d stolen your popsicle that your mother had packed as a special treat for your first full day of school. When he saw you start to cry, he broke off the piece he’d been sucking on and handed the rest back to you. There was a bit of a disagreement on the level of nice-ness that act achieved since it was your popsicle to begin with, but somehow it caused the two of you to be inseparable ever since. Being your best friend meant that he was privy to the more private parts of your life.
Like the letters.
Starting as young as ten years old, you’d developed a bit of a tradition when it came to your crushes. Emotions were hard to process, but you found them easier to work through if you thought about them and translated them into words. Those words would fly across the paper, transferring the feelings that made you both laugh and cry into the graphite that formed them. Not to mention, the act made you feel like the heroine in a rom-com. Certainly it was something that Meg Ryan or Rachel McAdams would do once they realized how they felt about the male lead.
The first letter you ever wrote was during your final year of ballet class. Dancing had been a part of your life since you were three, but a new passion had been discovered so you’d decided to quit after this last cluster of classes. A terrible decision, really. Because right after your mind was already made up, a new boy had joined the class.
Kim Jongin.
He had just moved into town after his father was promoted to a new position and had to transfer to headquarters. You’d never seen him at the park or the grocery store before. He was completely new. And beautiful.
He was blessed golden skin that glistened, shining brighter the longer he danced. And, oh, the way he danced. It was well beyond what anyone else could do. His movements were fluid, water-like, as if the very beat of the music were pulling and manipulating his limbs to convey what the notes had to say. Each move was a word and when he formed them together, they could make you smile or cry. And when he smiled… oh, his smile was like starlight. The kind of brightness that stayed in the sky even as the city lights flickered on. To this day, you’d never found one that could rival it. He was a dream that every composer coveted. So, what was your young heart to do?
Well, the movies told you to confess. But there was no way you could find the courage to do so, especially since you only saw him in class and you couldn’t confess in front of everyone. The only other option was to write it out; to write it out like Jane Austen pouring her heart out for Tom Lefroy.
 Dear Jongin,
I’m not sure how to start this. Do I compliment you on your dancing? It’s nothing like I’ve seen before. Prima Donnas in the Russian Ballet would be jealous of you! But you probably hear that all the time. And about how handsome you are, even under all that hair. I can’t help but watch when you pull it back for class so you can see yourself in the mirror. Why can’t I look like that? I somehow ended up looking like a frizzy wet cat that just climbed out of the tub.
I guess what I’m trying to avoid saying is that… I like you. A lot. I like your laugh and your wide smile. I like how much you love music and how you interpret the melody with your moves. No one can freestyle like you! My heart does a dance of its own whenever I see you. I hope you don’t have anyone that you like, just so I can stand a chance. Would you ever think of me like that? If not, it’s okay. I just needed to tell you. Someday, you’ll be on stage dancing to an audience of thousands and I’ll be right there in the front row, cheering you on! Until then, I hope you always find happiness in what you love.
Love,
(y/n).
 That sentence about watching him on stage made you cringe in hindsight. Cute for a ten-year-old, but a bit stalkerish. Luckily, though, you never gave it to him. You chickened out every time up until the last class. The idea of him opening it and reading right there in front of you was mortifying. So, then, you decided to mail it. The teacher gave you his address after you told her you wanted to invite him to your birthday party (it should be a little worrisome that a teacher was willing to pass on private information like that… perhaps it was because you were a kid). Three times you went to the mailbox to send the letter out and three times you ran back inside to hide it under your mattress.
That was the beginning of your weird little tradition. Though you never sent the letter to Jongin, you felt better having somewhat confessed your feelings and worked through them without the humiliation of actually… doing it. So, the next time you had a crush so overwhelming that you needed to get the feelings out, you wrote a letter. You even went all the way each time to address the envelope, giving the confession a sense of finality. There was no fear in them ever going out. Baekhyun was the only other one in the world who knew of their existence. At the current moment, eight were hidden in a drawer in your vanity. The way your fingers were itching, a ninth one was on the way.
“I might,” you finally replied.
Baekhyun leaned forward eagerly. “Can I read it when you’re done?”
“No!”
He snapped his fingers as he sat back in his chair. “Darn.”
“Why am I even friends with you?”
“Because I’m charming.”
There was no question in his voice. He one-hundred percent believed it. And… to be honest, he did have his moments. But that was all in the past. “Like a plank of wood.”
Shaking his head, Baekhyun rapped his hands on the table before standing up. “Alright, I’m going to class. Have fun with your pencil and imagination.” For emphasis on his stupid remark, he stole one last chip before walking off.
You finished off your sandwich in a bit of a rage. By the time you were finished, your mouth muscles were aching as if you’d spent several hours at the gym and it was jaw day.
You only had one class left for the afternoon. But it was algebra. How were you supposed to concentrate on functions when your sad attempt at getting into a relationship with your tutor failed so epically? Somehow you managed, though, and you packed up at the end of class with a new sort of determination. As you hopped on your bike and rode home, you thought over what you were going to write. You were so lost in your head that you hadn’t notice the car pulling out of your neighbor’s driveway, nearly hitting you before the driver hit their brakes.
“Shoot!”
You back peddled to break. Your heart thumped in your chest. No life memories flashed before your eyes, but you were sure you almost died. Slowly, you moved forward to get out of the way of the car. 
“I’m sorry!” you yelled over your shoulder.
The driver leaned out the window.
Oh, great.
It was your neighbor. Or, at least, your neighbor’s son. Do Kyungsoo. He stared at you with an expression that could be blank but could also be a glare. It was hard to tell with him. Shaking his head, he pulled back inside the car and drove away.
Fighting off embarrassment for the second time this day - albeit this situation was much lower on the scale and it happened a bit more often than you’d like to admit - you put your bike up in the backyard and headed up to your room. Your mother, a literary history professor, and your father, a doctor at the local hospital, were both at work and wouldn’t be home until well after dinner. You were used to it. Besides, you were an adult and you liked being able to decide to have pizza for dinner and not worry about what other people wanted for toppings. Once you put your order in, you sat down at your vanity and got to work.
 Dear Junmyeon,
Has anyone told you how your hair looks in the sunlight? The dark brown hues seem so warm and inviting, like an ebony chair that was warmed by the unfiltered rays. I’ve always wondered what it would be like to run my finger through it. Would the strands be as soft as they look? Would you wear the same smile on your face that you do during our sessions? But I guess I might not be meant to feel them. Today, I intended to tell you how I felt. I woke up with a determination, a goal to say how much I like you to your face. I was so nervous riding my bike to the university, but it was the good kind of nervous; the kind that makes you keep going. It seemed, however, that I was too late. Or maybe I simply never had a chance at all. I’d missed any signs that said you were already someone else’s.
I hope she knows how lucky she is. I hope she makes you laugh and listens to you when you’re having a bad day. Your laugh is like a symphony. Does she tell you how light and lovely it is? Or how infectious it is? When you laugh, I can’t help but laugh along. It’ll be sad not to hear it anymore. Or have our talks filled with random subject changes. But I think I’ll miss your smile most of all. The way it crinkles your eyes yet still lets them shine. The way it spreads across your face and the way your cheeks grow. It is truly a sight to behold. I hope wherever you go, you are always smiling. You always let your light shine even on the cloudiest of days. That’s what’s so special about you and what made me fall for you. Even when I was frustrated or couldn’t understand, you were patient, taking my mind off of the negative and turning me so I could face the positive. That’s a rare kind of person. You are a rare kind of person. Please always be happy, Kim Junmyeon.
Love,
(y/n)
 With a sigh you sat back in your chair. The letter had done its job. Though you were still sad about the way things turned out, you no longer felt defeated. The words you needed to say were now out there without being “out there”. Okay, so he had a girlfriend. Big deal. It wasn’t the end of the world. There were more potential love interests out there that you could find. He was only one and obviously wasn’t the one.
Beginning to smile again, you folded the letter and put it in an envelope. You didn’t have Junmyeon’s address, so you wrote out the address for the math lab. Opening the top drawer of the vanity, you placed the latest addition to your collection under the first envelope. The doorbell rang right as you closed it up again. Oh, thank goodness. Food.
Practically skipping down the steps, you hurried to the front door.
“Hi-” You stopped as soon as you’d opened it. The person waiting on the other side was not the pizza delivery guy - it was Baekhyun. The boxes holding the pizza and cheese sticks you’d order for no one but yourself were in his hands. Over his shoulder, you barely caught sight of the delivery man driving away. “Really?”
“What? I was bored. And hungry.” He flipped open the lid to show you the hot, melted cheese of the appetizer. “Cheese stick?”
Rolling your eyes, you stepped aside so he could come inside.
Baekhyun had been to your home plenty of times in the past so it was easy for him to make himself at home. He didn’t wait for you before pulling plates out of the cabinet and pouring a drink. He even went as far as getting you glass as well. “Thirsty?”
“Yeah, thanks.”
The two of you ate at the kitchen table as your mother had a “no meals in the living room” policy. Small snacks like nuts and popcorn were okay, as long as you didn’t spill any on the couches.
“So… how did the writing go?” Baekhyun asked cheekily between bites.
You shrugged. “Fine. I’m deciding that I’m getting over it.”
Now it was Baekhyun’s turn to roll his eyes. “You always get over them fast.”
“What’s the point of dwelling on the things you can’t change?”
That was always your answer. Yes, the hurt was immediate and painful, but Baekhyun was right, you tended to push it aside rather quickly. That was the whole point of your letters, anyway. Get the feelings out of the way so you could move on. What was the point of clinging on to something like that? You would only end up worse if you stayed in that spot. So, you pushed yourself to move on. And eight times out of nine, it had worked. There was only that one nagging letter that failed to do its job. That particular set of feelings refused to go away even as you looked to other crushes, as you found other boys to like. It was the one you would always wonder about, the one that was completely off limits. The dull ache still crept up every once in a while. If moving on was what you had to do, you would do it. Because you would prefer if you never had to go through something like that ever again.
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rahleeyah · 2 years
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After rewatching the Christmas episode one thing I noticed is that in that scene where El and Liv are talking to the doctor and Elliot begins to panick and being defensive and she says his name and that grounds him immediately and then he listens to what the doctor is saying, this scene just puts much more meaning to the statement " If I heard your voice I wouldn't have been able to leave", because just the sound of her voice was enough for him to stop his mental breakdown, when he said it in the hospital scene on ROTPS it was almost poetic but this showed that he indeed at least felt incapable of hearing her or looking at her when he decided to retire because he would have been powerless if she had asked him to stay. And that brings me back to wonder what exactly was he expecting when he atended her ceremony? Now we have more context, we know Kathy wanted them to go and for him to give her a letter that would give them closure and probably would put a definitive distance between them but was he really unbothered about just how much effect would seeing and hearing Liv again would have on him? If all had happened according to plan he probably would still have returned to Rome but I don't think he would have felt any closure, I wish this would have been adressed on the show it still intrigues me from his POV. It's a shame that all went downhill with Isabel Gillies because not that I think it would have happened but it would've been very interesting for them to shoot a flashback scene where we saw El's motivation to seek Fin and finally decide to see Liv again and of course that damn letter and more context of the Puglia job that put him on odds with Wheatley and his father.
ok there's a lot going on here and i may miss something so i apologize in advance but some Thoughts:
1. liv's voice is the only one he'll hear. it's always been the only one he'll hear. one word from her and he pulls himself in. and it's not that she controls him - how does she make you do anything? - it's that he controls himself, for her sake. for her, he wants to be better. and he knows, he knows, that voice would have called him home. just the sound of it would have moved him, not because she makes him do anything but bc his love of her means that he'll do anything for her. it's so fucking good i wanna scream
2. oh holy shit yeah elliot what the fuck was your plan? it almost comes off like the writers didn't have a plan, as regarded elliot's actual reason for ducking into and out of liv's life, and they hadn't written the letter at that point, but if i may meta a little now - it's been ten years. elliot's life is in rome. he knows liv is a captain now, that she's moved on, built a good life for herself. finally, after all this time, he has a chance to see her. a chance when he won't be risking his whole life for her; he knows, now, after a fucking decade, that he has no claim on her. maybe there is a part of him that thinks it's almost safe, now. that he can catch one last glimpse of her. kathy suggests the letter as a way of bringing them closure and if indeed he only saw her that one night and pressed the letter into her hands and disappeared, it would have, i think, been closure. but knowing that this is his last - his only - chance to tell her how he feels, elliot can't help but add it will always be you and I. elliot has to call out to her, one last time. to let her know that he knows he has no chance of having her in this life - bc again at that point kathy is alive and their family is living on the other side of the world - but he wanted the chance, just the same. that he hopes in some other life, they would have got it right. holy shit that's so much.
3. i kinda want a fic like that tbh. a like prelude to rotps. elliot calling fin, promising he'll call liv. getting her number from fin, even, and staring at it, unable to dial the numbers. kathy feeling el pull away as the moment when he's gonna see liv approaches, and her taking charge of him. trying to help him, and trying to keep her family whole in the process. just. what that all would have looked like this is a fascinating Concept
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