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#and by canon compliant i mean like: there is a gap in the MCU timeline and i wish to fill it with whatever i want
tlcwrites · 3 years
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Wash-Worn
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Submission for Writer Wednesday 5/19
Summary: How do you let go of the person who means the most?
Word Count: 976 this was supposed to be a drabble y'all I am ridiculous.
Tags/Content warnings: Sam Wilson x Fem Reader. SFW. Grief/mourning, loss of significant other. Post-Blip/Infinity War. All aboard the angst train.
Author’s Note: Sorry, @autumnleaves1991-blog and @clydesducktape, my Writer Wednesday submissions are apparently going to come months after the actual challenge prompt but like two months for me is pretty quick and I'm taking it as a win.
OMG I FINALLY WROTE MOSTLY CANON-COMPLIANT MARVEL yes my timeline is slightly tweaked but fuck it the same way the Russos fucked Endgame. I am SO exited to have finally written for Sam; he's one of the characters I've been dying to write for a while, but I didn't want to write him until I was sure I could do justice to him. The best character in the entire MCU deserves nothing less. I'm really, really proud of how this turned out. I also made myself cry twice while writing this, and @paper-n-ashes cried while she was beta reading it for me. #winning
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Fold. Box. Next.
Tee shirts. Button downs.
Fold. Box. Next.
Pullovers. Flannels.
Fold. Box. Next.
Workout tops. His collection of USAF shirts.
Fold. Box. Next.
You hesitate.
One of the USAF sweatshirts comes back out of the box.
It’s the one he always wore on quiet Saturdays spent lazing around the apartment. The dulcet tones of Gladys Knight, or Jackie Wilson, or his beloved Marvin Gaye would provide the soundtrack as you fried the potatoes and scrambled the eggs. He was responsible for baking the french toast (his mother’s recipe). You’d sit together in your dining nook, the sunlight painting the table in burnished gold, teasing him as he stole bites of sweet potato off your plate.
After you’d washed the dishes together- he always washed, you always dried- you’d move to the living room, curling up together on the sofa. He’d toy with your hair while he read whatever biography had struck his fancy that week, and you’d grade papers and quizzes, safely tucked under his arm.
Sometimes, the book would end up on his stomach, his head resting against the back of the couch as he snored softly. Those were your favorite mornings. You’d set aside your papers, cover you both with the quilt Riley’s mom had made you as a wedding present, and snuggle against his chest, luxuriating the simplicity of coexistence without expectation.
The tears you can’t seem to stop speckle the wash-worn sweatshirt.
Your therapist has been insistent that holding on to the past, to him, will only make your healing harder. Cleaning out his things is somehow supposed to help with building your new normal.
But how can you build a new life when you can’t fathom leaving behind the one you shared? Well-meant platitudes don’t dull the sting when you roll over in bed and his pillow is empty. No amount of offers to visit your sister-in-law and your nephews distracts from the ache that you’ll never get to see him hold your baby, his baby, who now will remain only a dream. Nothing, nothing, takes away the pain when you start to text him from the grocery store to ask if you’re out of orange juice, and remember with a jolt that there won’t ever be an answer again.
You’d wept next to the bulk food bins, your basket spilled where it fell.
No more of his beaming smiles with that adorable gap between his front teeth. No more impromptu dance parties in the kitchen, when he’d sing along with whatever song was playing and pull you into his arms, swaying with you between the island and the fridge. No more finding post-its with terrible jokes or sweet messages stuck to your lesson plans. No more watching him repair Redwing at the kitchen table, the tools and parts a foreign language to you but second nature to him.
No more of his sarcastic quips, no more of his thoughtful counsel, no more watching him effortlessly draw everyone, everyone he encounters into his warmth and light. No more feeling his lips brush your temple, the quietest ‘love you, baby, be back soon’ whispered against your hair before he leaves for his morning run. No more seeing him perched on the back stoop, his head in his hands, because no matter how much he wants to help everyone, needs to help everyone, being the strength and stay for so many wears heavy on even the strongest of shoulders. No more building him back up when he is sure he’s failed. No more feeling him beside you, above you, inside you, taking you apart with sinful accuracy before putting you back together in his embrace.
You’d barely gotten him back from his exile. And now he’s gone, a life erased, and all that remains are your memories and an old sweatshirt. How are you supposed to say goodbye to the other half of your soul?
He’d want you to let him go. You know he would. It’s what you would want for him if the situation was reversed and he was the one left behind. You can practically hear him, that wry chuckle and his honeyed voice.
What would you want me to do? he’d say, ever the counselor. Would you want me to give up? Would you want me to let my grief consume me until I was just a shadow of myself? Or would you want me to live a full life, a long and happy life, even if you weren’t there to see it?
Of course, you know the answer.
It's not disloyal to move forward, baby. It doesn't mean you don't love me anymore. It means that you know I’ll always be in your heart like you’re in mine. It means it’s okay to let me go.
You’re not sure how long you kneel there, clutching the sweatshirt to your chest as a desperate anchor against this new agonizing reality.
It’s okay, baby. You can do this. I know you can. And you know you can.
Deep breath.
Deep breath.
Fold.
Box.
Next.
Nat helps you take the boxes to the refugee center. You cry the whole way there and back, but somehow feel lighter having done it.
And slowly, you start to emerge from the darkness.
You meet Steve for breakfast on Saturdays. You get through your grocery shopping without any breakdowns. You bake cupcakes for the hell of it. You bring home flowers for the kitchen table. You start teaching again. You spend a week with Sarah and the boys in Delacroix, and only cry twice.
It’s slow, and painful, and at times feels impossible. But channeling his endless determination, you start to heal. Your therapist tells you how proud she is of your progress at every visit.
She never needs to know that you wear the sweatshirt to bed every night, long after it ceases to smell like him.
A/N: I warned you.
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petermj-week · 4 years
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Introducing the Spideychelle Recathon!
I really appreciated all of the hard work and dedication the Spideychelle fandom showed during this year’s Spideychelle Week and I really wanted to find a way to celebrate all of those fantastic creators in this fandom, including those who didn’t participate in the week but contribute to the fandom outside of it. A lot of fan events that are hosted on Tumblr focus on content creation and I wanted to create an event focused on content appreciation.
Then it hit me—a recathon, taking from the words recommendation and marathon; an event that encourages people to rec many fanworks over the course of the event. I’m surely not the first to come up with the idea, but I haven’t seen it in the Spideychelle fandom yet. I hope this event will be a success like Spideychelle Week has proven to be in the past and it becomes a staple for the fandom.
The event will take place in October across all thirty-one days. You do not have to participate for every day, however, and you can pick and choose based on the daily themes that have fanworks that you are passionate about and wish to reccomend to others. I’d like on the chosen day for particpants to create a rec list (it does not have to be a list if you only have one fanwork to rec) and tag this blog (@spideychelleweek) so that I can reblog the rec list. It’s also encouraged that you tag the creators’ you’re reccing and let them know you love their work! If the original creator has already posted the fanwork on Tumblr then you can also choose to reblog their original post and tag this blog, letting me know you’re reccing it.
I hope most of the prompts are self-explanatory, but if not then below the cut I’ll try to simply explain each one. If you have any questions about the prompts or the event then please send in an ask and I’ll answer as promptly as I can.
Day 01 | Classics: Older and beloved fanworks; the type that every fan should read/watch/see and is introduced to every new Spideychelle fan someway or another. These fanworks should have been posted before the release of Spider-Man: Far From Home.
Day 02 | Crossover/Fusion: Crossover is when two fandoms combine, such as a fanwork where Peter Parker meets Robert Patterson’s Batman, while fusion is where the fandoms are merged by implanting the characters of one setting into another, such as the ever popular Hogwarts AU.
Day 03 | Kiss: Fanworks involving kissing, such as a one shot about their first kiss or a fanart of a passionate kiss. Kissing doesn’t have to be the main focus of the work. For instance, if you think a 100k word fanfic has the best kiss scenes then rec it away even if it has 95k words where no kissing is involved.
Day 04 | MJ Backstory: In the MCU’s canon we don’t know a lot about MJ’s family or her life, but the fandom has explored and delved deep into MJ’s character so this slot is for fanworks that explore MJ’s backstory whether it be a down-to-earth depiction of her family or exciting backstory where MJ is a spy.
Day 05 | Fluff: A fanwork that is pleasant and makes you feel good, such as fanworks depicting cuddling or other affectionate actions though fluff isn’t limited to that.
Day 06 | Identity Reveal: Fanworks that explore Peter Parker’s secret identity and it being revealed to MJ (who may already know) or other characters.
Day 07 | Post-FFH: Fanworks that take place after Spider-Man: Far From Home and explore what happens after Mysterio revealed Peter Parker’s identity to the world.
Day 08 | Vids: All kinds of fanworks can be posted for each day, but I imagine most will end up being fics so this day is devoted solely to vids which are video edits often set to music using clips from the films.
Day 09 | Fix-It: For fanworks that “correct” canon events that are not liked by the fan(dom), such as fanworks where the Snap/Blip never happened, Tony never died, or whatever else that fandom seeks to correct through fanworks.
Day 10 | Favorite Creator(s): Spread the spotlight to specific creators whose fanworks you love.
Day 11 | Domestic: Fanworks involving the characters living everyday lives. Often involves marriage or children, but domestic fanworks don’t have to include that nor does domestic mean that Peter can’t have powers, since being Spider-Man is a normal part of his everyday life.
Day 12 | Angst: Fanworks that hit you in the feels by making you feel negative emotions, particularly saddness or fear.
Day 13 | No Spider-Man: Fanworks that depict Peter Parker as a normal human being without superpowers. Other characters can have superpowers, but Peter Parker cannot.
Day 14 | LGBT+: Fanworks that depict LGBT+ themes and/or characters such as Trans!Peter Parker or Bisexual!MJ. Those are just examples, so feel free to rec works that don’t fit those specific parameters as long as they are LGBT+ focused.
Day 15 | Underappreciated: Fanworks that are underappreciated, such as not having that much engagement from the fandom. I’ll let you determine what counts as underappreciated, but please don’t rec fanworks that have 1000 kudos and 50 comments. This day is about praising fanworks that get barely any praise.
Day 16 | Alternative Universe: Fanworks that alter elements of canon, such as College AUs, Coffee Shop AUs, Vampire AUs, Omegaverse AUs, Historical AUs, Soulmate AUs, and so, so, so many more.
Day 17 | Spider-Man 3: Fanworks that make you go, “this could be in the MCU’s Spider-Man 3,” whether it be fanart depicting an epic fight scene, a long fic plotting out a huge overarching narrative, a vid with a tight story, or whatever else you can think of. 
Day 18 | One Shots: Fanworks, typically fanfiction but it can include other mediums such as comics, that are standalone stories contained within a single chapter.
Day 19 | Hurt/Comfort: Fanworks involving a character(s) being hurt either emotionally or physically and then being comforted by another character(s). 
Day 20 | Self-Rec: Recommend a fanwork or fanworks that you created! Don’t be afraid to be proud of your work and I want everyone to shamelessly rec their fanworks that they’re proud of on this day.
Day 21 | Comic Elements: Fanworks that include elements from the Spider-Man comics that have yet to appear in the MCU, such as the Venom Symbiote or a reimagining of a classic scene/panel/storyline using the MCU’s version of the characters.
Day 22 | Art: A day to recommend your favorite pieces of fanart. This doesn’t just include drawn/painted art, but it can also include cosplay, sculptures, paper craft, and any other medium.
Day 23 | Missing Scene: Any fanwork that fills in a “gap” in the films and could reasonably be seen as canon compliant.
Day 24 | Five Things: A story structure that includes multiple scenes that are related to each other using a common theme. An example is “Five Time Peter & MJ Almost Kissed & The One Time They Did.” The story structure does not need to have exactly five and can have any number as long as it follows the typical structure.
Day 25 | Humor: Fanworks that are humorous and make you laugh.
Day 26 | Smut: Fanworks that depict sexual material of either a Mature or Explicit rating. 
Day 27 | Drabble: Fanfics that are exactly one hundred words long, but for this day I’ll accept less words or slightly more. And I also would like to see other mediums for this category such as vids that are less than thirty seconds. Generally, just fanworks that are fairly short in length.
Day 28 | Mental Health: Fanworks that depict mental illness, mental disorders, or neurodivergent headcanons. Examples include, but are not limited to, ADHD, Autism, Panic Attacks, PTSD, Anxiety, Depression, etc.
Day 29 | Meta: Essays or analysis discussing the characters and/or relationship in the context of its portrayal in canon or fandom. 
Day 30 | New Fanwork: Fanworks that have only been recently posted. I won’t give an exact hard timeline for you to follow, but as a guideline I’d say it counts as new if it was posted in the past two months.
Day 31 | Free Day: Reccomend fanworks based on any theme (or no theme) that you want.
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inawickedlittletown · 6 years
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Walking The Wire (67/?)
Summary: Tony Stark always knew about Peter Parker. He didn’t know that Peter was going to get superpowers and become Spider-Man, but he always knew about Peter because Peter was his son.
This will span from pre-Iron Man up through the rest of the MCU (eventually including Infinity War) and will be for the most part canon compliant except where I’ve taken some liberties and interpreted canon a certain way.
Pairings: Pepper/Tony, Tony/Steve (endgame), Tony/Mary (past)
A/N: If you want me to tag you when I post new chapters let me know. This fic is also on AO3
I used Collider’s MCU timeline to stay canon and the title of this fic is an Imagine Dragons song that is just so fitting for Peter and Tony
Masterpost
Chapter Sixty Six
Peter’s birthday came around before he knew it and May insisted that he invite Tony over for a birthday dinner.
“I haven’t seen him in a while and I’m sure he wants to spend some of your birthday with you,” May had said and then threatened to call Tony herself if Peter didn’t ask him.
So on the night before his birthday while he was hanging out at the tower with Tony which was spent mostly in the workshop working on the War Machine armor once again, Peter brought it up.
“I don’t know if you’re busy tomorrow night and obviously you don’t have to say yes but then May might think I didn’t ask at all which would mean she would probably call you--”
“Spit it out, kid,” Tony said.
“It’s my birthday tomorrow,” Peter said.
Tony nodded. “I’m aware.”
Peter took a deep breath. Tony was actually staring at him.
“Well, I’m having dinner with May and she wanted me to ask you to come. I mean, if you can. You don’t have to or anything because it’s kind of silly and unnecessary and you really don’t need to and--”
“Sure,” Tony said and grinned at him before dropping a hand on his shoulder and squeezing.
“Oh,” Peter said.
“How else would I be able to give you your present, anyway?” Tony asked and pulled Peter towards him not into a hug but close enough so he could then ruffle Peter’s hair.
“You didn’t have to get me anything,” Peter muttered.
“I’ve gotten you something every year since you were born and I’m not going to stop now,” Tony said.
Peter stopped. He frowned. “No, you haven’t.”
Tony turned to face him. “Well, many of those presents probably didn’t have my name on them and to be honest I probably didn’t pick them out but that doesn’t mean they didn’t exist.”
Peter didn’t know why he hadn’t expected that. Because of course Tony Stark would make sure that his son got a present for his birthday. It made sense. Maybe some of those presents weren’t chosen or sent by Tony himself because if Peter knew anything about him it was that Tony was busy and really did make other people do things for him, but he had known that Peter would always have something from him. It made Peter wonder which ones they were. He figured maybe May might know. He would have to ask.
“It was the least I could do, Peter, since I couldn’t physically be there,” Tony said.
“I — thank you.”
Tony just smiled and ruffled his hair again.
He went home that night a little bit excited about having his father at his birthday dinner and when he arrived back home May stared him down.
“Did you ask, Peter?”
“I did actually. He’ll come. Are we ordering in or are you planning on cooking because I don’t want us to give him food poisoning or something.”
“I’ll order something,” May said. “My cooking is not that bad though.”
Peter nodded even though they both knew that she just wasn’t the best. For his birthdays they usually went out to eat. Most years they invited Ned along. This one was going to be a bit different. It was the first year without Ben and on top of that Ned was still in California visiting his cousins. They also couldn’t go out because Tony Stark was coming and it would just attract too much attention if they were seen together. People would certainly question it. They might think that Tony was dating May which just thinking about it sounded weird.  
---
Leaving Wakanda had been hard mostly because it meant leaving Steve and leaving that guest room that would be completely ingrained in his mind because of the good memories it provided. It had also meant that he was getting back to the real world and away from the fantasy that was Wakanda. Peter made up for it. Peter more than made up for it.
He and Steve talked a few times since Tony had left, and it was enough for the time being because Tony was sure that they would be together again. He felt lighter and happier when it came to Steve. Especially since the morning after he had woken up to Steve’s blue eyes watching him.
“Hey,” Steve said.
“Hi,” Tony muttered back.
Steve linked their hands together, playing with Tony’s fingers. “I really would love to leave with you,” Steve said.
“I wish I could sneak off with you too,” Tony said back. “If things were different…”
“We’ll figure it out, Tony. You always do. We’ll find a way to be together.”
It was the pure conviction and the way that Steve looked at him that told Tony that Steve was very serious about them and about the two of them working towards being together.
Leaving him behind had been hard, but it was what needed to be done and if they didn’t figure out a way to resolve all the legal issues, then Tony would find a way to make sure that they could meet up from time to time even if it was in Wakanda. They had talked long into the morning and the number one takeaway was knowing that they were going to work together and hear each other out and stop allowing everything else to pull them apart.
Everything felt lighter and easier and Tony felt more committed than ever to Steve. Peter would always undoubtedly come first, but Steve was a close second.
The night of Peter’s birthday, Tony got off the phone with Steve minutes before heading out of the tower towards the Parker’s house. He was running a little late, but figured it didn’t really matter but sent Peter a text telling him he was on his way.
May answered the door when he arrived.
“Hi,” Tony said.
“Come in, come in. I’m glad you could make it.”
“First one I’ve ever made it to,” Tony replied.
May nodded. “I am sorry for that,” she said. “He, um, he was asking about all the things you sent him over the years. I don’t even remember everything, but he’s really happy about it, you know?”
Peter was sitting in the living room. The tv was on but he wasn’t paying attention to that. He was instead in the middle of a video call. Tony made sure to stay out of the view of the camera just in case. He had to wonder if Peter had told any of his friends about Tony being his dad. Tony thought that he probably hadn’t.
“Ned, thank you. I mean it, you didn’t have to send me anything. May wants me for dinner, alright. I’ll see you next week. Thanks again,” Peter said and hung up the call before he stood up. “Tony, you’re here.”
“Yup,” Tony said. “I am.”
He peered towards the kitchen but there didn’t seem to be anything cooking.
“Oh, we ordered something in. I hope you like Italian. May and I go to this amazing Italian place. It’s like genuine stuff -- anyway, we got something from there. Should get here soon.”
“Italian is fine,” Tony said with a grin. “Actually, I’m kind of glad your aunt didn’t go to the trouble.”
Peter laughed. “Yeah, I don’t think any of us would have wanted to eat that.”
Being in Peter and May’s home was a little weird now that the secret was completely out and yet Tony loved it a little bit. He loved that there was nothing to hide aside from Spider-Man and that Peter and May seemed to be in a much better place.
“So, while we’re waiting for that, do you want to see your present?” Tony asked.
He had debated it on the flight back from Wakanda and then on the days following that, but in the end it made sense to give this to Peter. Tony trusted him enough to use it wisely and Tony was also well aware that it would become yet another safety feature.
“Uh, yeah,” Peter said and Tony could see his excitement in his eyes.
It was two presents in one really, and Tony had been carrying the rectangular box since he’d arrived, but he handed it over. He saw May join them, offering Tony a glass with water.
“Can I--” Peter glanced at May and then Tony.
“Of course, kid, go on,” Tony said.
He tore the wrapping paper -- courtesy of Butterfingers who was the best at wrapping -- and gasped as the box within which contained one of the brand new Stark laptops. One that hadn’t been released to the public yet. It wasn’t actually the gift that Tony was excited about.
“I -- Mr. Stark you didn’t have to. You already gave me the phone and--”
“And it’s your birthday, Peter,” Tony said. “Go on, take it out. There’s something else.”
May didn’t say anything from where she was sitting and Tony was glad that she didn’t fight the clearly expensive gift that Tony was giving him. But the laptop would have come sooner or later depending on what kind of computer Peter actually had at the moment. Tony knew that Peter would need it for school anyway.
“Mr. Stark, the laptop is more than enough.”
“It’s sort of connected,” Tony said. “I took the liberty of setting it all up and getting you everything you need on this thing. I installed a few extras. I figured you’d like it.”
“Okay,” Peter said.
He took the laptop out of the box and Tony grabbed those things and put them out of the way as Peter opened the lid and the computer came to life.
“Hello, Peter,” the AI said. “It is nice to finally meet you.”
“Mr. Stark?” Peter asked and he turned to look at Tony with his eyes wide.
“That is your personal AI. She’s a little bit like Friday but far less capable. I’ve had to restrict her quite a bit because of The Accords and just other reasons but I’ve been working on her for a few years now. I didn’t name her -- figured you could do the honors.”
Peter didn’t seem to know what to say. He gapped between the computer and Tony in sheer amazement.
“Are you okay, Peter? I think you are in some distress,” The AI said.
“How does she know?” Peter whispered and then looked at Tony. “I don’t know what to say this is amazing. I can’t believe it.”
Tony chuckled. “Believe it, kiddo. What are you going to name her?”
“I’ve -- I have to think on that. Get to know her first, maybe.”
Tony shrugged his shoulders. “Sure. Whatever you want.”
May walked over and sat down next to Peter, glancing at the laptop. “This is a very Tony Stark gift,” she said with a grin. “Thank you.”
Tony nodded.
The doorbell rang, and May left to presumably get their dinner which gave time for Tony to tell Peter about where else he might find the AI.
“She’s already been downloaded into your stark phone,” Tony told him, “but more importantly, she’s ready to go in your suit. I’ll need to tweak something, but I figure having her there having your back will make things easier on you.”
Peter stared at him for a long while ago. “She’s in my suit,” he said. “That’s so cool. Best birthday ever. Thank you so much, Tony. I can’t believe this.”
Peter then put the computer on the coffee table and threw his arms around Tony and Tony hadn’t expected a hug and yet he didn’t mind it one bit. In fact, he was more than happy to have Peter’s weight on him for a few seconds before he pulled away when May called for help.
Chapter Sixty Eight
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