#and better parents

[w4shingtons]

i just think that josh should lay his head in your muse’s lap for comfort and they should run their fingers through his hair

#ooc. #he’s just so :( #josh honey you deserve a better therapist #and better parents #just a better life in general

[laughingcatwrites]

As a reminder that good exists out there, a coworker recently confessed to me that he found out his child is questioning their identity (kid's gender redacted for this post). The kid is keeping it from him, so he can't say anything to them or show that he knows, but he's doing his best to get mentally prepared and educated so that he'll be ready whenever his kid does feel comfortable enough come to him.

For context, this guy is a big, bulky middle aged dude who loves sports and typical outdoor "manly" activities. As his coworker and friend, I know he's a kind and sweet teddy bear of a person, but his kid probably views him as a stern, authoritarian figure, the way most teenagers view their parents. His family lives in a conservative area, so I'm sure between that, their dad's looks and interests, and the fact that their dad is a Figure of Authority, the kid is worried that they won't be accepted.

But you know what? When he found out about his kid, the first thing he did was reach out to his closest queer friend and ask for resources for parents of questioning children. His biggest fears are that his kid will be bullied or discriminated against and won't feel comfortable enough to be themself. His second action was to find himself a mentor in another parent who went the same situation (kid coming out in a conservative town). The other person is preparing him for some of the struggles his kid may face and the fights he may need to take on as a parent to make sure his kid is safe and treated well.

Something I want to emphasize for people focused on language as the primary method of allyship is that when we spoke, he used some outdated terms and thoughts about gender and sexuality. That does not make him bad. These were the terms and thinking used about questioning teenagers when he was growing up and he never needed to learn more current ones. But now that he does have that need, he's throwing himself in head first because that's his kid and he's darn well going to make sure that his kid feels welcomed and has a safe place to be themselves even if they never come out to him.

#I'm so proud and happy for my coworker and I've been trying to figure out how to let him know how amazing I think he is #what gets me the most is that he's keeping this super down low to avoid giving any hints to his kid #he has a lot of queer friends so he already is known as an ally but there's always a chance it will be different if it's family #and he took that chance and crumpled it up into a ball and slam dunked it into the garbage for three points #and decided that even if his kid wants to hide it from him for the rest of his life he will still do what he can to make their life better #pflag #parents doing their best #parenting win #good news #allyship

[counting-stars-gayly]

I’m actually LOVING how Rick Riordan, and the other writers of the show, took his initial concept of a Percabeth rivalry fueled by that of their parents and kind of turned it on its head?

Now, instead of Annabeth being wary of Percy because he’s a son of Poseidon, he’s wary of her because she made a callous impression on him. They get off to a rocky start even before finding out who Percy’s father is, and when they finally do, Annabeth doesn’t care. Instead of them fighting because of who their parents are, they’re fighting over their own opposed worldviews.

Then, instead of them arguing over which of the gods is cooler and who was right in the story of Medusa, they realize that, just like Medusa, Annabeth is a victim of her mother and that, unlike Medusa, she is a far kinder and stronger person, unwilling to repeat the cycle of hurt. They realize that, like his father, Percy often acts without considering potential consequences and that, unlike his father, he is a far kinder and stronger person, willing to step up for someone he wronged and whom he cares about.

Instead of Percy and Annabeth’s rivalry being focused on that of their parents, it’s focused on who they are, themselves. But the path to friendship is still the same: a realization that they have each other’s backs, no matter what, because they’re not their parents after all.

#i kind of typed this in my essay voice because I knew it would be long so ignore that #also I don’t actually know which of the other writers are playing big parts in percabeth’s story so threats why I put a focus on Riordan #that’s* #aaaaanyhoo if I’m being honest I definitely prefer this version of percabeth #AND I like that Medusa said ‘‘we are not our parents until we choose to be. you three have chosen’’ implying that she thinks they’ve chosen #to be their parents only for Percy to reveal in the next episode that he’s chosen to be better than his father. #that was a really nice touch 👌👌👌 #percy jackson and the olympians #pjo #pjo disney+ #percy jackson disney+ #percy jackson #annabeth chase #Percabeth #rick riordan #Medusa #pjo tv show #pjo tv series #pjo tv spoilers

[maculategiraffe]

man if I was a russian mob boss and my worthless layabout son killed baba yaga's dog I'd just fucking give him up. like immediately. like call john wick's secret basement landline and be like "iosef's at the club. all his goons and bodyguards have been instructed to stand down. there's a new puppy on your front porch. do you want an edible arrangement or anything"

#it's not like little theon is an asset to your empire #just move on with your life #have more sons. make better parenting choices #psir #john wick

[andthebeanstalk]

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

#hlep #original #mental health #my sympathies and empathies to anyone who has to rely on this kind of hlep to get what they need. #the people in my life who most need to see this post are my family but even if they did I sincerely doubt they would internalize it #i've tried to break thru to them so many times it makes my head hurt. so i am focusing on boundaries and on finding other forms of support #and this thing i learned today helps me validate those boundaries. the example with the milk was from my therapist. #the example with the towing company was a real thing that happened with my parents a few months ago while I was age 28. 28! #a full adult age! it is so infantilizing as a disabled adult to seek assistance and support from ableist parents. #they were real mad i was mad tho. and the spoons i spent trying to explain it were only the latest in a long line of #huge family-related spoon expenditures. distance and the ability to enforce boundaries helps. haven't talked to sisters for literally the #longest period of my whole life. people really believe that if they love you and try to help you they can do no wrong. #and those people are NOT great allies to the chronically sick folks in their lives. #you can adore someone and still fuck up and hurt them so bad. will your pride refuse to accept what you've done and lash out instead? #or will you have courage and be kind? will you learn and grow? all of us have prejudices and practices we are not yet aware of. #no one is pure. but will you be kind? will you be a good friend? will you grow? i hope i grow. i hope i always make the choice to grow. #i hope with every year i age i get better and better at making people feel the opposite of how my family's ableism has made me feel #i will see them seen and hear them heard and smile at their smiles. make them feel smart and held and strong. #just like i do now but even better! i am always learning better ways to be kind so i don't see why i would stop

[idkaguyorsomething]

five nights at freddy's is a film that creates a tense, suspenseful atmosphere of horror by having its protagonists go up against supernatural threats such as trying to navigate the job market, being forced to deal with shitty cops, and a man who willingly makes himself think of nebraska over and over again every night

#fnaf #fnaf movie #fnaf movie spoilers #maybe?? #just in case #vanessa is truly terrible at her job tho #i want someone better versed in police officer procedure than me to go through the movie and break down every law she breaks #she is to standard procedure what fazbear entertainment is to osha #so roughly above average for a cop #but damn mike's parents #you took your sons on vacation to nebraska???? #five nights at freddy's

[deadshadowcreature]

I’m still mourning for what we could’ve had: Nori being a goth mom and Khan being a cool dad

#my art #comic #doodles #the dress design is based on Nori’s heart with the romantic goth aesthetic cosmetics #drawing her with different dress as if she’s a dress up doll #also I would absolutely love the idea of them being badass couple but also annoying parents to Uzi #and at the same time those are something Uzi would take after when she’s with N #murder drones #md #khan doorman #khan #nori #nori doorman #uzi doorman #Uzi #I crave badass married couple #the older the better #khan x nori #nori x khan

[florsial]

think think think

Regulus sneaks off to the Potters to give Sirius a secret Christmas gift and gets caught by Sirius and James who convince him to stay a bit longer, and every time Regulus is like, "I have to go" and Sirius is like, "It's Christmas Reg, cmon just a little longer, you can say that I dragged you here against your will or whatever, just stay a little for a bit longer." And Regulus, being loki helpless against his older brother, just agrees. And he begins to bond with everyone.

Eventually, Regulus accidentally stays the rest of the day and when he gets ready to finally leave, Effie is like, "Would you like to stay the night? It's quite late" and Monty just straight up says, "Would you like to stay forever?"

And that's how Regulus ran away. (Accidentally)

#marauders #regulus black #marauders era #writing #regulus arcturus black #jegulus #sirius black #james x regulus #james potter #effie potter #euphemia potter #monty potter #fleamont potter #James potter's parents #sirius and regulus #regulus deserved better #christmas

[noxcheshire]

So I saw a few posts describing how the Pit’s in Jason’s body kinda acted on its own accord when spotting Danny “baby ghost” Phantom/Fenton and how they then co-parent with a half dead “baby” teenager.

But I raise YOU the idea that the Pits is already parenting Jason Todd.

When the Pits take over it’s the simple response of a Mama Bear going feral on some humans for making their little baby upset.

Jason disappointed by Batman?

The Pits snarl and rage at the man that made baby sad!

Jason disgusted at the idea of another Robin lined up for death?

The Pits howl and claw through the skin to fix the situation by beating the humans up so they can’t die!

Jason vulnerable and lost by the lack of acceptance in his return as Red Hood?

The Pits screech, biting furiously into the humans that had caused the baby to feel un-included in their games!

No one understands the reason for the Lazarus Pit’s in Jason’s body to constantly be acting up, that is until Danny comes into the picture and is like, “So your ghost parent is always watching you too, huh?” In reference to his own ghost parent (Clockwork) that likes to watch through his little tv’s on what Danny gets up to and sends a multitude of sticky notes like a distant helicopter mom.

#dpxdc #dp x dc #dc x dp #dcxdp #danny phantom #dp x dc crossover #danny fenton #dp x dc prompt #jason todd #The Pits have adopted Jason as their ghost baby #look if you throw a whole ass child into some waters to ‘fix’ then you better believe this pool of green is gonna take notice #it took notice and inserted itself into healing Jason #and also made itself a parent #Pits: a baby as gift? mine now #Pits: WHO UPSET MY BABY?! 😠 #Jason: man it’s getting harder to control the pits every day #Danny: same hat bud #clockwork: that is my little baby and to make him my little baby he had to die #clockwork: BUT HERE ME OUT #The Pits when noticing Danny: …. second baby? #clockwork: I do not accept co-parenting with some ghost water #The Pits: FUCK YOU THATS MY BABY NOW #Jason and Danny are now ghost siblings #these are the rules #Danny is vibing cause he’s kinda used to the crazy of ghost parent at this point

[hypewinter]

Okay so what if Danny was the first clone of Superman instead of Connor? I see it going like this:

Danny gets reincarnated and immediately wakes up in a pod. Once his brain catches up to what's going on around him, he quickly nopes out of his pod and takes a little tour around the facility he found himself in. Along the way he discovers some major incriminating evidence but more importantly, he discovers who his donor dad is! Hooray! So Danny takes his freshly alive little butt and that incriminating evidence all the way to his donor dad's house.

Enter Clark, who is very unsure how to feel when a boy shows up at his door, claiming to be his clone and with evidence to boot! On one hand he's glad this clone doesn't appear to hurt or anything but on the other hand, his dna was taken without his permission to make an entirely new person!? He knows none of this is his fault but at the same time, why is this suddenly Clark's responsibility? But the kid just escaped a dangerous facility on his own. But what if the kid was brainwashed to believe he escaped but is really a spy after all? Is Clark supposed to take care of regardless? After all he didn't even want kids! At least not that soon but then again....

Danny takes one hard look at Clark's wishy washy bs and just goes "Yeah no bud, that's not how this works. Neither of us asked to be in this situation but we're in it now so you're just gonna have to deal." Basically, he shames Clark into taking care of him. Especially when the Justice League and the Kents find out and now he can tattle to other adults about how Clark's mistreating him. Danny doesn't ever hesitate to bring up what kind of hypocritical monster Clark and therefore Superman would be if he claimed to stand for truth justice and the American way while also leaving his own clone out in the cold.

And you know what? This actually works. Clark starts taking care of Danny to get everyone off his ass but then comes to find out this kid is actually kind of a riot to be around? And single fatherhood is kinda fun actually?

Basically by the time Kon comes around, Clark has settled nicely into his clone dad era and is willing to strangle anyone who would not only steal his DNA, but also dare to use his precious clone babies for evil gain. Because seriously how dare they?

#dp x dc #dc x dp #dpxdc #dcxdp #winter's tales #bonus if clark becomes one of those 'my precious angel can do no wrong' parents #danny sets fire to something? #“he's technically only a year old he didn't know any better.”

[nelkcats]

The Fenton "Boor"

The Fentons have always been famous for their legal sale of weapons, usually based on ectoplasm and used to hunt ghosts. That's where they got most of their funds, whether it was to finance new inventions, their laboratory, or their children's education.

The problem began when they found out that Phantom was their son. Because of that revelation they accepted that they couldn't continue on the "weapon creator" path, how could they continue to create and sell weapons that help hunt down their baby? Even if they didn't trust all the ghosts Danny changed their perspective of the Infinite Realms and they were more or less at peace.

That is why they debated for hours on what to do to make money again, until they noticed something curious: Most of the people in Amity couldn't get drunk. It was a silly thing to focus on, but thanks to a quick investigation they noticed that after the portal opened no one had made it.

That's the reason they created a new brand of beer "Boor", which affected both ghosts and humans contaminated with ectoplasm. Their business quickly became a success and the beer was exported elsewhere (with many care and prevention labels).

When Jason Todd noticed "Boor" on the shelf at the bar he frequented, he snorted. The beer had a small ghost on the bottle, which caught his attention, he ordered it out of curiosity and when the waiter told him that the brand claimed "the product was capable of making even the dead drunk" Jason almost laughed.

Big was his surprise the next day when he woke up on one of Gotham's rooftops with a severe hangover. He had at least 8 missed calls from Nightwing and a bottle with a cartoon ghost in his hand.

#dpxdc #The Fentons created a beer #Jack wanted to call it Fenton beer #Danny didn't agree with that #Boor is not better but it stayed like that #dp x dc #dc x dp #The product is safe for most humans #and extremely effective with people that died before #Jason is excited #he couldn't get drunk since his death #The JL is curious because it works on most of them #even Flash #The Fentons created the beer mostly because Danny was complaining about being unable to do most things normal people could do #like getting drunk #because of his half ghost metabolism #he was sad about that #His parents helped #Danny is older here #stil living in Amity tho #Jason will track the boor creators later

[azulhood]

Jazz was, at her core, a pessimist.

Oh sure, she wanted the best outcomes and strived to always see the best in people. But listening to her parents talk about and share crime scene photos of someone who was brutally murdered and who may haunt the place they were headed to while true crime podcasts played instead of road trip tunes as they traveled to whatever graveyard had caught their interest had dulled young Jazz's faith in humanity.

Jazz still had memories of a young her standing in an abandoned insane asylum (or abandoned hospital, or old house, or graveyard, or whatever place they dragged her too) holding a small torch with shaky hands and begging to leave because she was terrified "Can we go? Please? this place is scaring me" only to be told "In a minute Jazzy, we down want the ghost getting away."

They had settled down after Danny was born, choosing to stay in one placed instead of traveling all over the country. She still expected them to unexpectedly announce that they were going on the road again, she had plans in case they did (saying she'd stay behind with the van to take care of Danny was better then both of them getting used as ghost bait) But surprisingly they didn't.

And Jazz was thrilled. Sure, she and Danny were known as the kids of the towns crazy ghosthunters, and sure, she basically had to raise her brother since her parents would rarely leave their lab let alone focus on something not ghost related, and yes, she did have to carefully plan out how to use the family's money so that none of them starved.

But no more sleeping in cheap hotels or their van, no more making friends at playgrounds that she'd never see the next day, no more countless hours spent in places where people died, no more English lessons while on the road. She went to school now, she had friends that she saw more than once, she had a home that wasn't filled with cockroaches and the sounds of a argument from the room next door. She had a semi-normal life.

In this time of normality, she relaxed, she let her guard down. Then Danny died and only came back halfway.

And Jazz was back to being that little girl who was scared of ghosts, only this time she was scared for a ghost.

Danny didn't tell her at first, and even though it hurt she understood, and so while she waited for him to tell her, she planned.

She took job after job, from mowing someone's lawn to working at a checkout. Money had been put aside in bags filled with clothes and a pair of new id that she had gotten from Tucker, ("Just in case our parents get classified as supervillains and we need to flee" She said not giving anyway that she knew of Danny's ghostly problem, Tucker had made the id anyway even if he thought she was joking and did not in fact have a plan should that situation happen) One of their neighbors was willing to let her buy their old car despite her family's driving history. A safe house (more like safe apartment) was bought in the only place that was willing to let a teen buy property, Gotham City.

Danny fought numerous enemies until the only enemy that was left was telling their ghost hunter parents that their son was half dead.

Compared to her, Danny was an optimist, seeing the best in everyone without even having to try like she did. Believing that the best would happen like if he didn't, he would break into a million pieces and not know how to put himself together again.

Even though he was scared Danny believed that their parents wouldn't react badly, Jazz hoped they wouldn't but was prepared if they did.

And finally, after many nights spent wide awake in case her parents tried to rip Danny apart molecule by molecule while she slept, the shoe dropped. Their parents loved them, but their work came first, it always came first. Jazz loved her parents, she truly did, but she loved Danny more. And in the end, that made her choice of driving all the way to Gotham with nothing but their go bags all the more easier.

And that was how Jazz and Danny ended up as the neighbors of one Jason Todd.

#dpxdc #dcxdp #dp x dc #dc x dp #danny phantom #jazz fenton #Jason todd #Jack and Maddie were traveling ghosthunters #and that gave Jazz trauma #They did have a youtube ghost hunting channel that had many comments worrying if Jazz was okay #Another way this could go is if the ghosts of the haunted places the fentons visited saw them and went #“we can be better parents then these two” #and just adopt Jazz and then later Danny #I realize now that this whole thing is kind of a slightly scrambled word vomit and probably doesn't make much sense

[nova-rpv]

"i have a sister now! thank you, granpa! we are going to do so much stuff together!"

(trans masc newborn shado btw. tag as ship and ill kill you)

#im so done. they deserved so much better #im getting atatched to maria now and its #its not easy. shes basicaly a pure white girl but also a completely blank canvas #yet im so. shes so.. i hc those earings are a gift from her parents they gave her jjst before she moved to the ark. she always wears them #she was a human being with her own identity but neither her granpa (the person that raised her) nor the narrative treats her as such #there had to be some fucked up shit she went through psycologicaly that not even shadow got to know #its actually painful for me to draw her not happy. its too much #also shadow is trans masc and just a few days of age thats why maria calls him “sister” #sth #sonic #sonic fanart #sonic the hedgehog #shadow the hedgehog #maria robotnik #nov.aart

[beybuniki]

kiribaku

#he's a boys' boyyyy #bnha #bakugo katsuki #kirishima eijirou #kiribaku #krbk #? idk #for OOMF #they're 18 here hence a much calmer bakugo #also that barzil shirt is bakugo's he got that during the wirld cup he flew to brazil with his parents (upper middle class antics) #but kirishima looks better in it so he wears it more often maybe thats how they relaized they like each other other this isnt my turf #but theyre rlly cute

[canisalbus]

The juxtaposition of these two posts has me thinking it's Ear from the first post waking them up, and Machete is just like "...I'm really not pleased but I'm also not going to be angry because that's not what Ear needs right now."

.

#aaaa nooo I swear I didn't mean for them to have anything to do with each other :'V #I don't think they would look this actively peeved if it was their Ear waking them up #it wasn't Ear's fault #answered #feral-renaissance-cat #in canon kid Machete threw up a million times and was on the other end of this situation more times than he can remember #I have faith he'd be invested in trying to do better job than his parents did #kid named ear

[puppetmaster13u]

Prompt 218

“Moom, there’s yellow-eyed creeps fighting ninjas outside the window again!” 

Danny sighed, taking a deep breath- in for ten, out for eight- as he set the pot he was cleaning back in the sink. Dan- currently six- came running in from the living room of the apartment, where he was watching TV. Or he should have been if not for the bullshit outside. 

He sighed again, picking up baby Ellie- currently closer to two- out of her highchair (even if she could just float out) and let his oldest drag him to the window. Sure enough, another fight was happening, with no vigilante in sight stopping it. Look, he knew most people didn’t live here, but it was still rude. 

“Jordan, remember how I told you how violence isn’t always the answer?” Danny asked sweetly, Dan’s expression shifting to a wicked grin as he opened the window. “Feel free to practice tossing some fireballs while I clean up your sister, yeah?” 

Ah, the sweet sound of surprised cursing and startled ecto-signatures. Maybe they’d be polite enough to take their spar elsewhere. 

#DCxDP #DPxDC #Danny: I’m going to be a better parent than my parents & not get distracted by work #He has a couple of the clones’ cores too #Does it count as mpreg? #Danny has a garden shop/bookstore at ground level #He’s gotten better at cooking but he doesn’t trust them not to come alive so he sticks to drinks #Halfas are like phoenixes when they have to retreat to their core #They come out as babies thanks to having to rebuild their human flesh body from scratch #Why yes they’re in Gotham- he’s lived in several different cities over the last few decades #Doesn’t look a day over thirty somehow (it’s the ectoplasm) #Space Core Danny #Sun Core Dan #Moon Core Ellie #Why yes he named his clone-sons after stars #Shadow Core Orion #Bed Sheet Ghost #Earth Core Rigel #Monster Ghost #Light Core Algor #Tiny Ghost #Sun Core Draco #Yes Danny is an adult with a pair of small children & 4 more on the way what of it #dad danny #Mom Danny #He is both #prompts