#and as much as tumblr can bring me joy and a sense of community

[seventeendeer]

sorry to keep bitching about frustrating rain world fandom trends, but I think if you read downpour as a pure "being alive is good, actually" metaphor with a weird dissonant twist at the end (saint's campaign), that ... reveals a shockingly surface-level reading of the story that ignores every interesting question the game poses in favor of trying to force a comfortable, one-note moral that only actually works if you ignore a significant amount of canon.

like, I'm sorry, but there's no way to in good faith pry a straight answer out of this story. I know fandom tumblr is a hotspot for disillusioned former christians, and stories about how religion isn't all it's chalked up to be are comforting for many, but this simply is not that kind of story. if that's your takeaway from it - that the world the game presents is worth sticking with, that ascension isn't the right choice - that makes sense, it's a valid personal opinion to come away with. however, to argue that the void sea endings are objectively the "bad" endings, or that saint's campaign makes no sense thematically, is to overlook a massively important reason why rain world works so well as a game in the first place: it's intended to be a choice.

saint's ascension ability is in YOUR hands. the game is asking you, the player, what you got out of this, what you think is best. it is asking you to reflect on the themes it's been trying to communicate to you for the last several dozen hours

(can you cope with a life that brings you more pain than joy? if there was another way to exist, would you choose to change? what would you give up to attempt another existence? everything? what if you're being fooled and you're chasing a terrible fate? what if powerful people are preying on your misery and it's all a scam? what is left of you when stripped of all things that cause pain? is it your true self? in a world without pain, what is even left? what if it's everything that means the most to you? what if you're going home? what if you could love without the fear of pain, loss, sickness, death? is the grand more important than the small? is it better to stick with familiar pain, or to chase something frightening that may ultimately make you happy? who can you trust to guide you? who will take advantage of you on the way there? what would get in your way? your own ego? your guilt? bitterness? love for the world you know, an ability to see beauty in the midst of tragedy? is this weakness or strength? etc etc etc don't even get me started on the commentary on religious institutions, classism, structural and familial abuse, and how this is all woven together)

like, I'm sorry, rain world is not a saturday morning cartoon trying to teach you life lessons, it's a piece of interactive fiction using game mechanics as a vehicle for some extremely interesting philosophical discussions, which it politely asks you to actively engage with as you go along. I'm sorry if that's uncomfortable to people who don't relate to those topics, but declaring bad writing on a piece of fiction for not presenting you with a clear-cut moral stance at the end that already aligns with your personal lived experience is just ... a godawful way to interact with stories.

(deliberately handwaving or ignoring major and obvious pieces of symbolism for the sake of declaring it a Good Story That Agrees With You, Actually frankly isn't much better. stop making me read analysis posts where half the story has to be a drug trip for your point to make sense)

#deerchatter #rain world #rain world analysis #yeah im putting it in the tag idc i love this game and if this can make just 1 person go back to the source material and try to #appreciate it in a new way then i'm happy. it has so much to say and i wish more people would listen #im not debating this btw <3 but feel free to ask questions ofc

[swiftispunk]

Am I strange for wanting to get off tumblr and discord and everything cause I can’t take more of Pedro? Like don’t get me wrong, I love Pedro with my whole heart and I’ll always will but I’m seriously hyper fixating on him in an unhealthy way exactly like I did with one of my last celebrity crush. So bad that if I ever was to find out that he has a girlfriend/baby/ or anything I feel like my world would literally end even if I know deep down that I’d never have a chance with him. Also him receiving all this attention makes me sort of sad (?) cause I’d really like to become an actress and be in the same world and life that he is in, I don’t even know how to explain it, I just feel like I really should take a break from everything even from him. Maladaptive daydreaming is real and a fucking bitch its even ruining my real life and my uni grades

hey nonnie,

i don't think there is anything strange about recognizing when fandom is no longer bringing you joy, and knowing when it's time to log off.

i have...been where you've been. when i was about uni age, between the ages of 18-20, i was very deeply entrenched in the one direction fandom. i was also going through a difficult time personally, specifically in my second year of university. with so little good in my real life, fandom became one of my only sources of joy. the boys became everything to me - i mean, i originally sought out a career in communications before transitioning to journalism with the sole intention of being a social media coordinator FOR ONE DIRECTION.

i can recognize now how attached i had become to the boys themselves, their lives, how i imagined they were feeling at any given moment...just as one example, my roommate in second year recalls the moment zayn announced he was leaving one direction as one where she thought someone in my life had DIED - that's how intense and emotional my reaction was and how strongly connected i felt to them.

i don't know if it was a conscious choice or purely circumstantial, but it wasn't long after that i stopped using tumblr altogether. i moved to the UK, focused more on real life experiences, and even when i came home, i remained more or less Out of Fandom. i had interests! certainly a hyper-fixation or two. but i was also simultaneously falling in love, graduating from university, working, living etc. and all that held my attention more than any celebrity ever could.

having that space was really beneficial for me, in hindsight, because it gave me perspective, and reminded me that when i am not actively thinking about these celebrities 24/7, they don't have to be real to me. it can feel like a burden lifted, tbh.

i didn't return to fandom until this year, drawn back to tumblr as a way to express my interests, because i was finding less and less opportunities to do so irl and on twitter, which was and continues to be a depressing, maddening cesspool. i think i'm finding it easier this time around to separate myself from pedro the person - as much as i love him - by hyper-fixating more on his characters, if that makes sense.

all this to say, that i understand where you're coming from and encourage you to step away if you need to. it's just not worth it to stick around if you're finding it's affecting your life negatively. i did, and i feel better for it now.

i love you, and i want you to take care of yourself, whatever that looks like. <3

#han overshares but there's a point i swear #ask #anon

[always-is-always]

When the details are needed~

Sometimes peeps will ask me for details or historical context, after reading a post I’ve written.  When it is possible I’ll direct to original content, and I’ll also refer to cultural traditions, when it is necessary to help clarify.  

There are bloggers here on Tumblr who have a DEPTH of knowledge, spanning far more years than I have been ARMY.  Some of them put a lot of time and effort into crafting posts that are deep in detail, and very informative.  That, I am grateful for, as it has helped me with my own navigation through sources of information about BTS and the individual members that are complicated, messy, sometimes convoluted, and sometimes outright wrong.  

I came here originally looking for a known Blogger who is fluent in both Korean and English, who also is known for clarifying translations, and also who helps to explain the cultural context connected to things that the members say.  After setting up my own account I eventually started looking at the #kookmin and #jikook hashtags, as I had no idea how this platform worked.  

Luckily, there were Bloggers who I started to see who were the very ones I mentioned above, who were in integrity with their words.  Integrity is everything, to me.  After watching so much content on YouTube and seeing the ways that a lot of people manipulated imagry, video clips, translations and such to fit their narrative, I found these Bloggers to be a breath of fresh air.  

It felt important to share this as I do post things that I have written, without a ton of references or details, at times.  Sometimes, it’s my heart speaking, sometimes it is my intuition, and sometimes it’s my desire to share in the moment with the community here.  Always, it is with the best intention.  

When I first became aware of BTS I knew NOTHING of ships, bias, solos, ot7, or what all that entails.  I’m an American, and I had never experienced anything like that prior to BTS, and had no understanding of it at all.  I still don’t really get it, but at least I kinda know what it means.  What I do know is that I don’t label myself in any way, at all.  Just so that’s clear.  

Most of my words and opinions of what we see are coming from my life experience, what I understand of the history of BTS, original content, reading certain blogs, and interpreting everything with as little filtering as possible.  I hope that made sense...  

The other factor for me is that as an intuitive and empath, I just know things.  Sometimes, I’ll know it before it’s proven outwardly.  That’s what intuition does, for me.  I just know stuff.  lol...  Sometimes I’ll speak of it, but much of the time I don’t.  Especially when it isn’t my place to do so and it could be an overstepping of a boundary as a Soul.  That takes “when you know, you know” to another level at times. 

The reason I’m sharing here is that I wanted to make it as clear as I can, that there are a LOT of Bloggers here who are really well informed and are fantastic sources.  I’m happy to share what I feel are blogs that are really good ones to follow...  just send a DM, and I can happily share.  

Thank you all for being a part of this community here.  I really appreciate sharing the love and support, for the guys.  It brings joy into my life, for sure!  💜

#jikook #kookmin #bangtan and army forever #there are great bloggers here #integrity is everything #sharing the love for bts #miss them as 7 #love and support bts

[aticklishpercivalwriter]

About Me and the Blog

I am a 1st year college student pursuing a Bachelor's in Aerospace Engineering. If I don't post in a while, you know why. But, I'll definitely post something in advance or an update whenever I have the time. I love tickling and I am 90% lee 🫠. Interestingly, I have never been tickled before but have always been yearning for it since I learned about it. I usually satisfy my craving by reading fanfics and looking at art which at times gives me the ticklish tingles if you know what I mean ;) 

This brings me over to why I started this blog. I have been thinking of starting a tickle blog for a while now. Around 5-6 years ago. I wanted to write and join the tickle community that has always been bringing me happiness throughout my life. It's the joy, laughter, and connections that I feel when I read a fanfic or see an art piece. The Tumblr Tickle Community has a special place in my heart and I want to be a part of it. 

My main inspiration and love for tickling comes from otomiya-tickles, now known as otomiyaa. Her blog has been a huge influence and one notable post she made back then when I was still exploring the community was key in making me start a tickle blog. Screenshot below 👇

Her post was a sense of relief knowing that there are other people like me that are hiding their interest in tickling. I wanted to break out of my shell since then and here I am now, proudly starting a tickle blog :) I'm not alone and there is a whole community that I can be in without being judged because we have something in common, tickling. 

I want to also thank all the tickle blogs whom I've liked the content of over the years and how much your content means to me. I have read fanfics or saw artwork of a series and enjoyed it and wanted to watch the series. Avatar the Last Airbender and Dr. Stone, as examples. 

A special thanks to you, the reader, for taking the time to read this and understand me and the blog a bit better. This all came from the top of my head and was a lot of information. I can't wait to make content for you all and see what else the community has in store!

#blog intro #intro post #tk blog #tword blog #tword community

[leonsliga]

I don't understand this love for goretzka, if you knew what those who live nearby know, you would hate him forever.

You might be on the wrong blog then 😂 I don’t live near him, and I don’t know if you do or not (I’m guessing you do based on this ask), but tbh my feelings on him have never just been about him, if that makes sense. I don’t know him as a person and I may never know him, but what makes this parasocial relationship so personal to me is what he’s gotten me through.

I could be wrong, but chances are, if you’re on tumblr, you’ve got someone (either real or fictional) that’s been that for you—a source of comfort in hard times. And if you have felt that way (maybe I’m taking a gamble here, idk), you probably understand where I’m coming from: that who they are or who you believe them to be isn’t necessarily the main focus; maybe it was at the beginning, but over time, what starts to matter more is the comfort they bring you in difficult times—the simple things, like the joy that comes from just seeing their face. We’ve all felt that about someone, parasocial relationship or otherwise.

Beyond that though, there’s a sense of community that comes from finding people who share that same source of comfort. Suddenly, this person who has anchored you to the world isn’t the only person keeping you there and keeping you sane. You’ve got more people in your corner than you did before, this time with the same interests and passions that you have, often revolving around the same or similar comfort people; you get each other through life’s hardships in much the same way this parasocial relationship has. It’s special.

If you’ve felt this way about someone or something before, what I’m going to say next will probably make perfect sense: in a way, I almost don’t want to know. It’s the whole idea of “don’t meet your heroes,” ya know? There’s almost this desire to keep what you love sacred in your eyes, because if you don’t, you lose a valuable source of comfort in a world that can very much make you uncomfortable. I don’t know if that’s the right way to handle something like this, but this is just my gut reaction. I want to keep something that makes me feel safe in this world sacred if I can help it.

Sorry for this long response. Hopefully I articulated everything ok. As always, if you have any questions, feel free to ask me 💌

#leon goretzka #my asks

[who-is-page]

What's the spite convention for? eyes

Anon, I don't know if or how long you may have been following me for, but do you know how I got my start in alterhuman circles? How I ended up becoming at least somewhat known in communities, what inspired me to start writing and creating content in the alterhuman community, first on Tumblr, then on my own website and in my own publications?

Someone told me that I wasn't good enough, that I wasn't "important" enough. That I could never hope to make an impact, that I could never hope to bring about change. And it lit a fire of inhuman fury in my heart that's never. Fucking. Gone. Out.

Watching Naia Okami look the OtherCon chair dead in the eye and sneer at him about his supposed lacking of any renowned, trying to frame it as something pitiful or making it self-serving that he continues to go out of his way to host this event, to use her words, "despite being a relatively unknown person in the community," makes me enraged beyond language could ever hope to convey.

How fucking dare someone try to imply that another individual and their work is worth less simply because of something as nebulous and finicky and impermanent as 'community fame.' What gives them the right? What sort of crown of authority do such snotmuzzles, with their myths on the importance of gilded fake internet points above all else, have?

I could be nice, and say that such language and perspective is because of a sole familiarity only with cookie-cutter content creations, pushed onto Naia and others due to how the modern Internet works with us artists desperately trying to appease the algorithm and similar. That, perhaps, given she is simply something closer to a television personality, it could be said she just lacks any understanding or experience of how much more important “heart” and “effort” is in any given piece than “fame”.

But I’m not going to be nice, because I don’t believe that to be the case. Because I’ve been at the end of that sneer before, if not Naia’s, then certainly others’. It’s never out of ignorance; it’s out of malice. It’s people trying to make themselves seem bigger by making everyone else seem smaller, trying to create their own little cliques with their ever-changing goal posts, trying to smear other’s achievements to hide their own failings and pitiful self-worth issues. It’s people kicking others down into the earth and standing on their back for a little extra height to try and proclaim themself a lord and all others peons. It’s people who don’t want a community: they want a narrative that they can control, that centers themself and others like them, whether that be in an exclusionary sense or merely in a greedy, spotlight sense.

It’s fucking immoral, it’s destructive, and it’s not behavior we, as a community, should ever condone or accept as okay. Maybe it’s the scholar in me, maybe it’s the psychopomp in me, maybe it’s something else, but I refuse to sit back and let someone try and demolish the hard work of a convention and disavow multiple convention chairs just because the people actually putting out the work for these amazing events aren’t also in these so-called “renowned” folks’ petty little groups, on their knees worshiping social status and popularity. 

Fuck the groveling at the altar of upvotes, of likes, of views, of clicks. Fuck the idea that someone’s contributions to community spaces are based purely on how well they appease this nebulous god “Popularity.” It means nothing and I refuse to pretend that it means anything. This is my ode to that. This is me digging my claws into the ground and saying, no, fuck you, I was that person who was disregarded and insulted for being “new” and a so-called “unknown” and I will never stop supporting people who are accused and belittled of the same, but who still create and share their joy with others even despite that. I and others like me will outlast any pathetic exclusionary, spotlight-desperate attempts at a hierarchy of experience, in both the terminological sense and longevity sense, and this is my fuck you, go ahead and try to anyone who wants to think otherwise. 

“Greymuzzle” isn’t a term that people get applied to them because they’ve shown up on television, or because they have oh-so-many TikTok followers. It’s a community term given based on what people actually do in the community, existing entirely outside of shit like having your own KnowYourMeme page; it’s a title that denotes respect and appreciation earned on your own merit, never something self-given and always community-bestowed. And people who sprout shit trying to advocate for some sort of nonsensical, holier-than-thou “You Must Have X Followers To Ride” bullshit system are no greymuzzles. Our community will never stop prioritizing what people make with their own two paws, and if I can help that in my own way by hosting a future event where anyone, especially, as Naia put it, “relatively unknown person[s]” can showcase the things they love to talk about, their art, their writings… then, by gods, it’s my fucking duty to. 

#otherkin #therian #fictionkin #alterhuman #aok #kinshaming #long post #ALSO LITERALLY EVERYONE KNOWS WHO DINOCANID IS. NAIA. COME ON NOW.

[intermundia]

The Obikin community really is something special. I’m just here lurking on the outside, reading fics and occasionally checking tumblr but you really do feel the love here. Most fandoms are very chaotic but being apart of the Obikin space even only in a minute way has given me a greater sense of peace, even outside fandom space. It’s strange to think that reading and ranting about these space wizards being in love can have such a profound effect of us yet here we are. I’m glad to hear that it’s not just me that thinks we really do have something a little extraordinary here. Hope you have a wonderful day.

this is a lovely message and i agree so much. i can’t really explain why obikin is a magnet for so many talented and thoughtful people of a wide variety backgrounds and demographics, but the result is a very special place, one that has very much kept me sane over the last few years and given so much meaning and satisfaction to my life. i am glad you’re part of it anon, and hope that it brings you much joy in the future too <3

#obikin #cool kids club honestly hahaha #so many interesting and kind people #it’s really good #of course there is drama but there’s drama everywhere #what makes obikin special transcends petty discourse #fandom stuff #fanfic stuff

[astrobei]

Hello Suni astrobei. For end of year asks, I ask you 2 and 12

hi abby strangeswift !! ok so i got a couple asks for 2 so i’m going to answer that one elsewhere so i can focus my full attention on Gushing !

12. talk about a new friend you made this year

ok i’m about to get seriously so sappy so if you don’t feel like reading through all this feel free to Leave (no hard feelings LOL)

i’m someone who has a pretty small social circle irl so i never thought i’d meet so many wonderful ppl this year, and definitely not online and definitely not because i started writing fanfiction again LOL like if u told january suni this she’d look at u like 👁👁 on a more serious note though this year was insane for me. so much changed really quickly in my life and i’m so beyond grateful that amidst all the chaos i was led to all of u guys ! literally if we’ve had even one conversation on here there’s a very high chance i’ve referred to u as a friend irl so. do with that what u will.

abby and ella (@elekinetic) and sierra (@finalgirlbyers) i want u guys to know that i treasure u all So Much. like even if our convos are sporadic or if we talk exclusively through asks ur presence on my dash brings me so much joy and i look forward to each post u make and each message and each ask and each incoherent ramble in the tags !! i don’t have Favorite Mutuals but if i did it would be u guys because it’s insane how much i light up seeing ur urls ! i hope 2023 brings so many more wonderful interactions w u guys, u rly make my mindless scrolling on tumblr 100x more fun

yvie @nnilkyway HELLO i am so so beyond grateful i met them this year ! what a strange stroke of luck too bc i was so obsessed w their art before we met and hearing him say he was a big fan of my work was like. mind boggling. anyways yvie is literally one of the funniest people i have ever met in my life oh my god it’s so rare for me to find people whose sense of humor just Clicks with mine but like. four messages in and we were sending each other memes and becoming best friends and it was fantastic! i have never once felt weird or intimidated talking to them which is crazy for me, a person who feels weird and intimidated a Lot, and also need i reiterate his INSANE TALENT !! like holy shit ! my go to person for talking about gf mike wheeler or mitski or literally just anything and everything. yvie if you’re reading this i am putting u in my pocket and holding u so close. mwah. also we are married, btw. if anyone cares.

haven @bookinit02 OK. you all have heard me gush about haven a million and one times on this blog and i’m sure you’ve seen her gush about me because she’s (rightfully) obsessed with me (/j. kind of) but haven was the first friend i ever made in the byler community which is so so beyond insane to me. i fell in love with her writing so instantaneously and you guys should’ve been there to see my reaction when i saw her leave her first comment on my fic. literally screamed it was so embarrassing 😭 we talked exclusively through ao3 comments for a while because she’d yell every time i updated ihcisc and i’d yell every time she updated her season 2 rewrite and then one day she dm’d me asking me to make a twt to add me to a byler gc and the rest was History. anyways haven is one of the most talented most creative people i’ve ever met BUT she’s also one of the sweetest and most compassionate people on the face of this planet and deserves nothing but good things always ! she’s one of those people that i need to talk to every day or i’ll go insane and i love how our convos can speedrun the entire human spectrum of emotions within like. 5 minutes. she’s so incredibly supportive and my #1 hype girl and she has the freaky ability to entirely turn my mood around on a bad day in less than 20 seconds. she literally managed to sleuth around and find my venmo just to send me soup money. if i could buy her Everything then i literally would. i would eat cilantro for her. i would watch the mlvn makeout scene for her. i would get my socks wet for her. literally i would do anything for her and i can’t wait until i see her in june and i chase her in circles around the airport and then we kiss👩🏼‍❤️‍💋‍👩🏽 and we Hug so tight and platonically 🫂

thea @wiseatom u already know. i tell her every day that i would do literally anything she asked of me and it’s true! literally 2 minutes ago she said “suni u should dye ur hair green” and for a moment i seriously considered it. anyways thea is objectively the funniest fucking person i have ever met in my life and is also my twin. if my twin were blond and taller and also a different age. in all seriousness though thea feels like the world’s most insane older sister to me and as an Actual older sister i’m really loving the feral little sibling treatment. she’s so insane easy to talk to (probably bc our brains work in the exact same way) and Oozes talent from literally every single cell in her body. she sends me a snippet of her work and i spend the next 10 minutes rolling on the floor trying not to SCREAM. there are so few people who can make me laugh as much as she does but also turn me into a blubbering mess of a baby with her Evil Cruel Prose 2 seconds later but thea wiseatom has been put on this planet to achieve the impossible. i have rarely felt so seen as i do when i talk to her, whether it’s for advice or Wallowing or complaining about our disproportionately large heads together, she is so kind and supportive and one of my favorite people Ever. i can’t believe the universe put her 3000 miles away from me because i Need to be a menace to her in person but we’ll make it work. every day i say goodnight to her at 8 pm my time and then say good morning to her at 2 am my time and then i go to bed <3 thea if you’re reading this (and u better be. i tagged u) i hope u know that u are the light of my life and i am packing my bindle as we speak to begin the cross country trek. mwah.

@andiwriteordie ANDI ! i miss talking to u every day but u are so busy with ur big girl job and cranking out quality fics at light speed so i’ll give u a pass 😔 andi is literally a legend in the byler fic community so when i found out she Knew Who I Was,,, i died. i literally died. even when we haven’t talked in a while i love how we can pick up a convo like nothing has changed or send posts that remind us of each other or go crazy apeshit in each others tags like there’s no tomorrow !! andi is so so inspirational to me, she is so kind and creative and full of positivity (even if her writing is mean and full of Sadness and Misery. still haven’t forgiven u for descent, btw) she feels like my other older sister and she has such an insane way with words that i will never understand ! thank u for singlehandedly keeping byler tumblr going, i hope 2023 is so kind to u and u get ultra promoted and have so much fun at the eras tour like u deserve <3

moon aka @smoosnoom omg ok not only is moon so crazy talented but she is such! a sweet person! back when i started writing for byler she was such an enigma to me, an ao3 user and a total Mystery, so i never expected us to actually talk and now! here we are! she is so uplifting and supportive and i’ve loved getting to know her over the past few months, whether it’s bonding over our shared hatred (affectionate. mostly) of finn wolfhard or bawling our eyes out to everything everywhere (oh my god.) seeing her comment on my first fic literally made my heart stop dead in my chest. she has such a gift for making everyone feel so immediately accepted and welcome in any space, and i will spend the rest of my life stewing in anger that she’s taller than me. that feels extremely, unfathomably illegal. anyway moon if ur reading this (and u also better be! bc i tagged u!!) i hope the new year is so good to u <3 mwah ily

#ok this was so long . #now that i’ve Gushed #i can continue to the other asks in my inbox. oops #anyways i love my friends so much if u couodnt tell #so full of Love and Good Feelings today #thanks for this ask abby i bet u are regretting it now LOL #/ask

[prettyboykatsuki]

I saw your answer about how creative pieces in fandom are interacted with in a similar way that people interact with big for-profit media, and how the term content creator has become kind of a demarcation of that changed relationship, and I really had to rock back on my heels and think on that for a while. I'd sort of internalized that term without even thinking about it, but you're right. The way we consume media is so deeply tied to consumerism and brand marketing its kinda scary ngl.

hello!!!! and yeah this is a big, long-standing issue i've been silently observing for a long time and recently connected all together. for anyone confused - this is in reference to this post. i think the real start of this was the 50 shades of gray books but that's another can of worms to open so ill refrain unles askedd.

@/hawnks had some good tags on the phrase "content" and "content creator" in particular that i really agree with that i'll link here that echoes and reflects my feelings on the idea.

the idea that fandom spaces and people who participate and make fanart / fiction / media are creators create a sense of divide in a space meant to founded on community and shared interest. mint said something about how people in fandom are neighbors more than anything else and that resonated with me.

often i warn people about the writing space on tumblr for the same reason (though it's just. fandom overall). while i loathe the term content creator, there is a cognitive dissonance that also exists. in a sort of unavoidable way, when you start to write - people immediately view you as a figurehead because of the same issues i was talking about in the original post.

a writer like me or you or anyone might not view themselves like that, but because of the consumerism, because of severed ties between maker and enjoyer - there's a huge divide in community. a difference between a writer or reader that should've never existed and is truly perpetuated through the word content creator.

a lot readers / people who don't publish fan content as it stands view themselves as passive, unimportant participants. because fan works are not consumed as personal pieces but as big pieces of media - people also engage with you like they would a big, corporate production.

fandom reader and fandom writer / artist / editor are a symbiotic relationship. they're supposed to benefit and depend on each other and have completely equal value. i am no different than the people who send me anons, or asks, or comment on my fics and im not meant to be. im just a guy who writes and i am desperately looking for a guy who reads to bring me joy with a like, rb or comment. that engagement is fuel for me and so are those brief connections.

but because that has detiorated over time and how people engage with fandom has changed so much - it creates this weird liminal space for people who decide to put their writing or art or edits or memes out. the dynamic has changed in an intense and uncomfortable way and it's not anyone fault

when people treat you as a figurehead when you haven't asked to be, haven't marketed yourself that way - how do you deal? when your position is no longer passive and people are suddenly seeking you out for input?

i think the way consumerism in fandom has fucked over the people who still love and enjoy it is what has bothered me most. it's frustrating and complicated and no one group is particularly to blame so i avoid talking about it but it really does suck

#return to sender #x reader meta #ask to tag #its so so weird bruh so odd #but what can u do lol it eez what it eez

[theold-ultraviolence]

More sentimental blabbering about Avenged Sevenfold, because apparently it's easier than working on my last essays, oops...

I've been waiting nearly 7 years for them to release new music, and holy fuck, I would've waited 10 years, the wait was so, absolutely worth it and proof that meaningful things as this are worth waiting for. This album struck a chord in me that I wasn't expecting and it unleashed a ton of feelings and reflections and ultimately it reminded me of how much I love this band, how much they mean to me, and how deeply I hold them in my heart. I know it feels absolutely crazy to say this about a band, but truly, their music hits a very special place in me that I can't explain.

A7X is actually the reason why I joined tumblr in the first place around 2010 (I've been here for an insane amount of time, I know) I joined because when I first listened to them and then became a fan (2008 - 2009) I didn't know ANYONE at all that liked them, and they were my LIFE, they were all I wanted to talk about. I've never cried at the death of a musician like I did with Jimmy, the drummer. So I was desperate to find community, also because I was slowly stepping into the worst time of my life (my teens) and this band was my salvation and comfort through middle school and high school. I could list all the lyrics from all the songs that have spoken to me during very specific memories, and how, through time, I keep discovering new meanings, and the songs change their significance/symbolism for me. Also, it was through A7X that I discovered Oingo Boingo, which, if you know, you know.

They're just, my comfort band, my all-time favorite band, like, if I was in a situation where I could only pick one band to listen to for the rest of my life, it would definitely be them. It's absolutely insane that they've been with me for around 15 years. Their music just hits differently, they're always experimenting and breaking out of their own mold and Synyster Gates is the best guitarist in the WORLD I fucking SWEAR, HE IS A GOD. The way they keep reinventing themselves and expanding through genres while keeping their characteristic sound is just so brilliant.

When they disappeared they had started to slip out of my radar because it had been sooooo damn long. But their timing right now couldn't be more perfect. They literally came when I needed them the most, when the year had become toughest for me and I needed something to give me hope and bring back a little spark and joy. And they absolutely have. Things aren't great in my life. I'm tired and sad all the time, constantly anxious. But this masterpiece of an album? somehow the narrative and the progression of the music echo what I've been through this year, and I swear with each album they always have something to teach me. I feel like this is an album I will forever hold close to my heart precisely because of the timing and what it means. It's hopeful and brutally honest, painful and melancholic at times, but there's this sense throughout the album about life being a neverending cycle and being brave, facing the reality of death. There's this bit in the song '(D)death' towards the end where it sounds like the soundtrack during a battle scene, or where the hero marches bravely through their death, and then 'Life is but a dream...' drips with yearning but a kind of peace and it's just such a touching track. It's a piano composition and it brings me to tears.

Idk where this rant came from, but I'm just still in awe with the album. I can't believe I get to experience it, and it IS truly an immersive experience, I've never ever heard anything like it before. Seriously, EVER. It's just magical. IT'S SUBLIME. I just feel so lucky and happy to get to listen to it and bask in it. Idk what may happen from here to October, this year I've learned that life can change in the blink of an eye. But I hope I make it, because I know that the experience of seeing them live will be amazing, and also extremely gratifying. Because the first time I saw them I didn't have a good time at all because of the people I went with, and also I've grown so much. Last (and only) time I saw them was in 2013!? it's crazy to think about 2013 me. I'm a totally different person and in certain aspects, I'm still exactly the same. I'm still the same crazy ass fangirl for this band I was back then. I just LOVE THIS ALBUM I WANNA SCREAM ABOUT IT.

#don't reblog #don't mind me I'm just losing my mind over an album and a band

[blitznut]

Potentially moving!

In the past few years, Tumblr (the site itself) has been in a state of constant flux. As Tumblr users, we are at mercy of a for-profit corporation. It is sad to say, but the things that bring us joy - Youtube, Twitter, Facebook, and Tumblr - are all owned by corporations. Unfortunately, when corporations start to fail, we all suffer. Tumblr has been trying for years to keep itself afloat. I have used this site for about as long as it has been failing (2017 onwards), and it sad to say that I don't see a future for Tumblr in it's current state. I'm not sure if the rumors of Tumblr corporate restructuring is true, but I think it is scary possibility. It is sad to say - this site has given me a sense of community that I have difficulty finding in real life - but I don't think I can continue my goal of keeping Blitznut alive on here.

This is why I will start uploading a lot of my content to Blogger. To be clear, I am only moving MY OWN fanworks to Blogger. I don't have consent to host anyone else's content. I will be uploading my content for Blitznut - from all of my different AO3 aliases (wineveryday, cereal802, cyberninjas, ky_lime_pie, and catchdawave), and here - to this more permanent home.

I chose Blogger because it is hosted by Google. I don't entirely like how Google collects data, but it's not much unlike Tumblr - specifically with their newer practices - at this point. Blogger is hosted on a large corperation's servers, and if Google decides to take down Blogger, I can easily download my entire blog. Blogger is also easier to archive than Tumblr. Tumblr has been focused on making itself into a social media site, and has been discontinuing things such as individual URLs (xyz.tumblr.com) in favor of making Tumblr easier for new users. However, this has affected how Tumblr is archived. Again, I have lost so much content from both of my now-deleted main blogs. Almost all of that content is gone. It has not been archived. Years of my writings - my thoughts, and some of my art even - is completely gone.

I will not stop posting to Tumblr. I'm going down with the ship. However, my older content will be hosted on the website blitznut.blogspot.com. My advice for others that use this site is to backup your content ASAP - your art, your fanfiction, your everything will be lost if you do not save it! I suggest using Tumblr's built-in download blog function, or using TumblThree.

#meta #this change will be slow and gradual for now #i have IRL responsibilities after all! #but i will be hosting archives of my works on blogger

[heroes-fading]

omg HI i just wanted to say that i absolutely love your tlou fics!!! SPECIALLY your music au it's just so so good i love you characters that can form the same relationships in spite of the circumstances and godd you reallu make that work for joel and ellie in that au. they really feel so so in character whilst also being softer? if that makes sense.

also i just wanted to share that i've been thinking all morning about ellie and joel potentially recieving the same criticism that jack antonoff and taylor swift do ("why do you keep working with the same guy over and over??" type questions) because although i do think switching up producers is an important part of creative freedom i think ellie would rather eat her own leg than work with somebody else. also i think she would be so offended and confused like "yes of course i switch it up. sometimes i even let tommy play the drums in my songs". ALSO ellie deserves a happier than ever (the song)/ i know the end moment where she gets to yell her lungs out in the booth. (these aren't like. requests btw i'm not demanding you write these obs obs. but if you wanted to i wouldn't be opposed. i just haven't been able to stop thinking about this it's an honestly amazing idea for us, the swifties tlou stans and thank u so much for writing it. sending much love your way!!! 💗💗💗💗)

HELLO I LOVE THESE

something i've been thinking about is making some bonus ish content and putting it like, here on tumblr or something with articles and tweets and other worldbuilding shit (i.e. memes) for inordinary and that universe. i've also toyed with the idea of one chapter being a really long interview (i think of music journalism pieces like this and this - some of my absolute favorites, amanda does such a good job). i'm not sure what shape that'll take quite yet, but it's been in my head! and i think it'd a cool to get an outsider pov in this bad boy.

i know the end is definitely on ellie's first album. FOR SURE. because i said so - i think of those playlists or versions of them being a crossover of album songs and other musical ideas that hang around. sometimes the details get changed (for ex 14 vs 19 in WCS) but in my head they go together!

i love nothing more than people thinking about this stuff and making this world bigger, this universe is like the lil musical engine that could and it brings me so much joy! the swifie/tlou community is SMALL BUT MIGHTY but also is it that small i'm unsure

#the taylor swift the last of us agenda we are holding it down!!!!!!! #i love it so much! #and i love the ideas and the feedback and all of it that inordinary has inspired it just #makes me so happy and blushy and YEAH #anyway i g2g to a friend's wedidng BUT I'M THINKING ABOUT THIS #tv: the last of us #fic talk #ask

[perexcri]

That fic was !!! Wordsmith Perexcri strikes again because you always seem to know how to weave them!!!

(This is Fannon btw)

The imagery of Never Have I Ever on the eve of the Apocalypse—it’s like. I can’t even explain why I think it’s so cool—it’s sort of like almost an anachronism? but instead of something modern in a historical setting, it’s something so so normal when nothing in the world is normal. Idk I just woke up and I have a cold so idk if that made any sense, just know that I enjoy it.

Also, ‘All he knows is, each night, when Will rolls over to the edge of the bed they share and Mike’s eyes bore in to his bedroom wall, they always snag against a bloody, crimson heart on a shield, and he thinks he’d been stupid to ever believe anybody else could know him like Will does.’ BEAUTIFUL SO SO MUCH I am going to have this tattooed on the inside of my eyelids so I can look at it forever.

I hope you are doing very well!

(,,,I told my friends I would try to do this off anon for Once, bc I want to be your friend but,,,,I’m a coward☺️)

Thank you for being such a lovely writer!

!! hello fannon!! i hope you recover from your cold soon!! i am sending you a cup of warm soup to ward the illness away~

(this one got long so i'm gonna put the rest under the cut!!)

i'm so glad you liked it!! honestly i think this fic has become my fav i've written this year, so it brings me joy to see others liking it as well :D

what you're saying makes total sense!! i love when the mundane is contrasted with the horrific, like two teenagers playing never have i ever when they both think they're gonna die the next day. i always find little human moments like that impact me more than, like, an extended action sequence

i didn't explicitly use it as inspiration for this fic, but i do think i drew a little from buffy the vampire slayer (like with most apocalypse byler stuff i've written lol) for that contrast!! that show does such a good job of contrasting the mundane and quiet with the loud and horrific. i did think a little about the very last episode of buffy on the night before the big final battle, and there's this very quiet shot of buffy and spike sharing a bed in her basement,,,that's kinda the vibe i was going for, and i felt happy with how it came out in the actual story :D

AHHHH i love when people point out lines they like!! that's one of my favorites from this one - i remember writing it last night and kinda staring at my screen for a second like "oh. okay. don't know where that came from but i guess we'll roll with it" lol

FANNONNNNNN please please please don't feel like you have to keep using anon!! i would love to be your friend!! honestly a big reason why i post fics or do stuff on tumblr is because i want to talk with other people who are suffering from the same brainrot as me!! i've literally had full-blown conversations in the comments on some of my fics because i've really enjoyed getting to talk to other people (even though my social anxiety makes it very hard sometimes to talk but i'm being so brave about it). and honestly, i think fandom stuff is supposed to feel more like a communal thing?? idk i love responding to comments or getting asks or getting your messages anytime i post something because it makes it feel like i'm interacting with other people who like similar things as me, rather than me just like,,,mindlessly pushing stuff out into the void and never hearing anything back, or something like that. idk if that makes sense, but tl;dr: i would love to be your friend!! (but if you are too anxious about it i totally understand because, again, re: social anxiety)

thank you once again for stopping by fannon!! your words always mean a lot to me, and i hope you get to feeling better soon!! :] 💜💜💜

#ask #fannon

[wawawawawawawawawawawawawa]

the anon who doesnt have aspd and taught myself empathy again here! i've never talked to a psych (self diagnosed autism) and as a teen i was p sure i had aspd (i Knew shit was strange w me and really wanted an explanation and once i figured out my mix of trauma and autism things made sense) coz lack of remorse and shit but i never actually really matched the rest of it -- i dont have substance abuse issues and never have, im p easily entertained, i've had the same three friends basically my entire life. i do though describe myself as the worlds most boring hedonist coz like yeah i sometimes have a hard time controlling my impulses and im motivated by fun but for me thats usually p simple -- easily entertained. read a book, video games, jump around to music. i AM frequently bored though?? like its my most frequent emotion and ive spent a Long time learning to cultivate my joy and really feel it properly. but im also the most easily excitable person i know. i dunno, i have v large emotions that appear then disappear quite quickly. a favourire hobby of mine since i was a kid has been to start arguments between the ppl i care abt and see how large i could make them in a single session then solve the argument w/o the ppl realising i'd manufactured and egged on the argument. which typing that out now seems uh. an interesting hobby. but late last year i told my younger brother and he laughed coz its a v me thing to do and was like "yo thats fucked. pls stop doing it to me" so since then ive mainly tried to just like playfully tease ppl in a normal way coz cognitively i understand its a fucked thing to do and im trynna be like, a decent person who doesnt go outta my way to play w ppl for funsies. which yeah that uh... maybe i Should look into aspd more again, i did a fairly shallow look into it as a teen and relating to azula as much as i did as a kid (and izaya as an older teen/young adult) was deff a sign of smth

i've followed you on this blog for a while (i think you'd only had it for a couple weeks when i first followed u?) so yeah i did know the story abt u and ur fiance! v cute

i feel like maybe we need a different identifier than "the anon who doesnt have aspd" because that might not be, uh. accurate! i have o clue why a lot of people with aspd seem to congregate around my account but i guess this is an aspd helpline now??????? whuh????

like im not complaining its just. how did i get here

also i think ive deadass used the "worlds most boring hedonist" descriptor for myself before and i deal w chronic boredom the same way you do- i have a LOT of hobbies and i plan elaborate projects and that entertains me but only temporarily

and thats the thing about aspd! it- like every other disorder- is a spectrum. you might not have substance abuse issues, and i do. you did.... your interesting hobby, and i find it morally fucked!* i have no idea your relationship with criminality, and i got fired for stealing

*i have done something similar but i have a moral policy of like, only fucking with people who Deserve It. who deserves what varies case by case and what exactly i do... i need to explain weird spiritual stuff to go in depth andyeah im not really itchin to be called crazy on tumblr dot cum

aspd in general is very misunderstood and no literature really focuses on what its like to have the disorder, only the perceived damage being around someone with the disorder will bring- which is why i initially self diagnosed thru tumblr posts from ppl talking about their symptoms in a serious educative way

sometimes i think like, maybe i don't have aspd, maybe i'm just autistic and i'm spreading misinformation- but i never really felt "at home" with other autistic people. its like- yeah i click better with other autistic people, but i'm still masking, i'm still faking, and even in this situation i can drop the mask partially but not fully. growing up with a personality disorder and trauma in communities largely filled with autistic people with trauma, very quickly teaches you that there's something different about you. it's an isolating, traumatizing feeling- my experience with this was mainly symptoms of npd, but like.... knowing you have a problem, wanting it fixed, and knowing nobody around you knows how deep the problem runs, and might even find its existence laughable or dangerous... it's isolating! and its shitty!!

generally i tend to Know if things i'm doing are bad or not, i just tend to not care in the moment, because it's better than being bored! entertainment wins out over everything. it's actually kind of terrible; i'll do stuff just to see a reaction out of people- it's like izaya, honestly, what happens when people are pushed to their breaking points?

thats kind of how i got so much into angst and psychological horror. not only did i want to break the characters, i wanted to break my audience. i'd tell my friends detailed stories about torture partly because i was interested in my story, mostly because i wanted to see their horrified reactions. i wanted to see how far was "too far," and i keep that stuff in my current narratives- i keep the pov extremely tight and do silly little tricks with narrative and formatting to make the audience feel like they're Really There

so yeah look into aspd. do it boy listen to me im the ps5 im speaking to you inside your brain. do it boy do it

#wasks #srry if ur not a guy it meme :(

[clusterbuck]

hi emma <3 i hope this doesn’t come off as me presuming that you need validation (and much less from an internet rando), but i wanted to say i really appreciated your coming out post yesterday. for me personally, coming out as ace has also been…something to navigate carefully, and something that is often misunderstood by others. i was lucky to have a queer sibling who listened and validated me at every step of the way, but outside of that safe little bubble, until i’ve vibe-checked who i’m with or where i am, my go-to (if i’m in a safe place to come out at all) is usually “queer.” just because — fewer questions? generally more understanding? on the rare occasion i do tell someone i’m ace and receive no questions, i overthink the interaction for days. “why didn’t they ask anything? maybe i should’ve explained it to them anyway. maybe they don’t know what it means, and now they think [insert incorrect ace stereotype/generalization here] about me. should i have told them my other microlabels? do i need to prove to them that i AM queer?” (i am i am i am.)(i know we are queer. i know we don’t have to prove ourselves to anyone. and yet!!) in my in-person life, i really only come out as ace to other ace people. now, i think i’m also aro-spec. i think i’m not attracted to men at all, probably. (idk, maybe i’ll always be figuring shit out.) but i wouldn’t have understood any of that without first realizing that i’m ace. it was like this…key that unlocked an understanding of myself and my experiences? like you said, about the understanding. and then the layers of everything else. and this is maybe a little silly and sentimental but i feel so much love and gratitude toward ace-ness and all the beautiful, wonderful ace people sharing their experiences on tumblr. because asexuality was the first step to explaining myself to myself. because when i was in the throes of “wait…IS this me?” and deep diving into all the resources i could get my hands on, ace people on tumblr did more for me than any other site. anyway. i feel all soft and 🥺🥹 when i read fic that destroys me and then click the little tumblr link in the end notes and go to the author’s tumblr and see that the author is ALSO ace. (“omg they’re just like me!!!” my little brain screams.) your fics and online presence in general bring me great joy. <3 thank you for being here. (and i’m so sorry there aren’t any paragraph breaks, this ended up being horrifically long and the ask box wouldn’t let me separate the text.)

hi! first of all i’m so glad my post resonated with you 💕 being ace is something that can be so (personal, the antoni voice in my head whispers) confusing to navigate when you first start figuring it out, but when you do figure it out it things just make so much sense. and they make sense in a way that i don’t think non-ace people can fully understand—just like eg i can’t fully understand what it’s like to be a gay man. i think your key metaphor is perfect—it’s one of those things that functions like a building block of identity, like the foundation that you have to get right before you can start building on it.

the harder part, then, once you make sense to yourself, is making sense to others. and unfortunately idk if that’s ever fully going to happen ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ for any kind of queer people, or for us. but i do think that it’s making more and more sense as time goes by! all we can do is live our lives the best we can. sometimes that means explaining asexuality, and maybe sometimes it doesn’t.

idk if i’m making a lot of sense honestly i’m just—really glad you sent this, and really glad you’ve been able to find supportive community online, and thank you for what you said about my fic 🥹

#jinxddiaz #ask emma #emma is ace

[life-as-a-lesbian]

So, I’ve discussed some of the homophobia I’ve faced, specifically at the hands of the people who are supposed to love me most. How did I deal with it? How can you?

First, you have to do what’s best for YOU. Your circumstances are not going to be the same as mine have been, so your response will not be the same as mine and that’s okay. Do what feels best for you. Here are some of the things that worked for me.

1) Finding an outside support system.

I knew my parents weren’t going to be supportive of my questioning or when I came out, but I knew I needed someone to support me. We aren’t islands, we need people. While some may have other family members to turn to, or maybe only have one non-supportive parents, I chose to turn to my friends. I had known all of them were supportive of the LGBTQ community since they were a part of it, or because of previous conversations we had, so I knew I was safe going to them. Their love and acceptance helped me to love and accept myself.

2) Avoiding unnecessary discussions

I don’t hide who I am, but I have found that it takes significantly too much energy to try to explain who I am and who I like to every single person in my life, especially those who I know won’t be supportive. I don’t come out to people who I don’t care to. I don’t talk to my parents about dating unless they ask. I let my grandma ask me about who I’m going out with and just tell her “I’m not interested in dating boys”. She, of course, assumes this means I’m not interested in dating at all and I don’t bother explaining to her that is not what I mean.

3) Only associating with supportive people (when possible)

While I currently have great friends, I am a college student and so I am always meeting new people and making new friends. Before I will call myself a friend to someone though, I make sure they support the LGBTQ community. Most of the time I’m bold enough to just tell people I’m a lesbian and see how they react, but when I’m not I have some other ways of gauging support. I will ask about a show or book with gay characters if I really can’t guess how they’ll respond, usually homophobic people will recoil at the mention of gay media, like it’s some kind of plague. If I’m still concerned after the media conversation and I’m not comfortable telling them my identity, I will start a political conversation by simply providing a fact and asking their thoughts. For example, “did you see the house passed the bill that would codify gay marriage? Do you think it’ll pass the senate?”. Again, homophobic people usually out themselves here with a “I hope not”. I won’t bring people into my life if they aren’t accepting. Obviously, some of the people in my life aren’t supportive and I can’t remove them from my circle completely, at least not yet, but I can keep them in an outer circle and minimize my time spent and discussions with them.

4) Following LGBTQ influencers and consuming queer media

Finding LGBTQ representation can be difficult, but it’s getting much easier. Watching things with gay characters and following gay influencers has really helped me to feel like I’m a part of a bigger community and that we can truly find joy, despite the people who try to keep us from doing so.

5) Being a part of a bigger community

Joining the GSA group at my school has really helped me deal with homophobia and accepting myself. It has given me a safe place with wonderful people who are always happy to listen to me vent or give me advice. It has also allowed me to make real life queer friends. This tumblr page has also given me a sense of community. Being able to share my experiences with people who’ve been through some of the same stuff I have is a wonderful experience.

6) Building and practicing confidence

Being confident, especially when people are trying to make you falter, is difficult. But it is incredibly important. The best way I’ve built and practice confidence is to remind myself exactly who I am. No one knows me like I know me, so it doesn’t matter what anyone says about me; I know my truth. I do this by validating my experiences and my feelings, standing up for myself and I act confident, even when I’m not; fake it til you make it.

7) Therapy

Most of these things that I’ve learned to do to help and accept myself, I learned from therapy. Whether that be by going to sessions, reading books, or listening to podcasts by therapists, the knowledge I’ve gained is invaluable. I encourage everyone who has the means to see a therapist, no matter their identity, struggles, or mental health. For those who don’t have the means to see a therapist, I recommend listening to podcasts on Spotify or whatever you stream music on and checking out books from your local library.

How do you handle homophobia? How are you learning to accept yourself? Do you have any podcast or book recommendations?

Comment down below!

#gaylife #girls who like girls #lgbtpeople #lgbtq community #lgbtqa #lgbtqplus #wlw community #wlw pride #coming out #lgbt representation #loveislove #life as a lesbian #self accepectance #confidence #pride #wlw post #lgbtq story