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#and also my dad nearly outed me to my grandparents earlier making some joke about me being gay
madd-nix · 3 years
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I love it when I complain about certain things not having more representation, like when a show or movie doesn't have any LGBT characters even if it should, then my family shoots in with "Oh, don't ruin this for me by complaining" or "But they're making plans to add a gay character in eventually"
Like, cool cool cool, glad we'll get one gay person at some point even though it totally could've happened way sooner and I'm glad that you all get to see yourselves represented while I just get ridiculed when I even just suggest that a character could be gay
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janaeekook · 3 years
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.Crimson lace.
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pairing: bestfriend!seonghwa x reader (f)
warnings: dom!seonghwa, oral (f receiving), unprotected sex (be safe kids)
word count: 4.9k
The roads were winding, twisting through the expansive mountain scape around you, Small flakes of snow falling along the road. You were in the passenger seat of your best friends car, the radio softly playing some pop song that Seonghwa seemed to know word for word.
It was that time of year, Seonghwa's family and their annual trip to their cabin. The past years you and Seonghwa had gone up a day earlier than the rest of his family to take up all the supplies for the week and check that the generator still worked properly.
"So what movies are we going to watch tonight?" You asked, curious as to what we would do before his parents, aunts, uncles, siblings and cousins came up tomorrow.
"I'll leave that to you." He said glancing over to you from the drivers seat. You smiled widely, knowing which movies you'd pick for the movie night that had become a tradition.
The smile that masked your face didn't fade as you watched each dainty snowflake powder from the sky. It was exquisitely beautiful, the grey early January sky, the chill of the outdoors cut off by the cars heat and the warm starbucks coffee that warmed you from the inside.
You hummed tugging your legs into a crossed position in the seat, the paper cup still in your clutch. You inspected the glove box, nothing but crumpled napkins, registration and a small first aid kit.
"We're almost there." Seonghwa informed you.
"How did you-"
"You act like I haven't known you my whole life." He chuckled, "You get antsy after long car rides."
You chuckled, forgetting that Seonghwa was indeed your bestfriend, and had been for years. He knew practically everything about you, neither of you ever saw each other as more than bestfriends bound at the hip.
He'd seen you half naked, passed out drunk on the bathroom floor, three times through the notebook after your first breakup, and he was by your side through all of it. Nursing you to health, loving you when you thought no one would, and giving you endless support when your dad passed away.
His parents were the same growing up, knowing your mom was busy working overtime to pay the bills; you'd stay over, that was when you and Seonghwa really grew close, you sleeping on the floor of his dragon themed bedroom.
As your mind continued to reminisce, the car was pulling up to the large cabin, It was large enough to house all 17 of us with its 7 bedrooms. The parents and grandparents got their rooms, the younger kids shared rooms, the girls in one and boys in the other. But as you and Seonghwa got older you started sharing the last bedroom.
It wasn't weird for you, you'd been sharing a bedroom and bed with him since you were both 4. His relatives however always asked if the two of you were dating, and you'd laugh it off because to the two of you it was utterly ridiculous.
You stretched your tired limbs when you stepped from the warmth of Seonghwa's car into the brisk outside winter air, "We made it!" You exclaimed lightly in excitement.
Seonghwa's chuckle sounded warm enough to melt the falling snow all away, "Did you doubt we would?"
You shrugged, grabbing one of the many large boxes of food and supplies that were piled in the back of his car.
"You're a scary driver." You teased, feigning fright. He smacked your arm before grabbing a box as well.
"Excuse me I am a wonderful driver."
You giggled, stopping promptly as you reached the entry way, Seonghwa taking his keys and unlocking the large wooden door. You took a deep breath in as you stepped through the door, the cabin always had a distinct smell a mixture of sandalwood and crisp apple.
"Wait!" You gasped making Seonghwa who stood in the kitchen whip around to look at you in slight concern which quickly faded upon studying your face. Bright eyes and an excited smile as you continued to hold onto the box of food.
"What?" He couldn't contain the contagious smile that spread across his face.
"Can we make a fort for our movie night?"
"Let's get everything inside, and the generator going, first and then talk about the plan for the night, ok?" He said and you nodded quickly in agreement. He watched as you skipped back out the door, and he couldn't help the smile that drew at his lips.
Anyone watching them could see the love and adoration in his eyes, anyone and everyone, except you. Seonghwa had started to feel more for you, he loved you and he wanted you to know. But you were oblivious to the signs he'd been displaying the past 2 years. Sometimes he grew frustrated and just wanted to grab your face and kiss you— but at what cost? What if you didn't feel the same?
Well he knew you didn't, he was just your bestfriend and nothing more. He never tested that boundary for fear of losing you, he could never picture a life without you, it just didn't make sense.
"Hwa!" He was pulled from his thoughts by your voice, "Get out here and help me."
He chuckled, "Ya, ya." Following your words out the door
.
The generator rolled with a start, humming lightly. Seonghwa stood dusting off his hands as he stood from his previously squat position before leaving the small shed with a huff of satisfaction hurrying the short distance back to the insulated cabin.
"You got it?" You asked the second you heard him come through the door.
"Try the lights." he said, and so you did, the dark room quickly being illuminated by the warm light.
"Haha! Look at that!" You exclaimed, he always loved the excitement you got from the smallest things. Lights, electricity, something so simple and everyday and yet it brought you the upmost joy.
He wanted to tell you how cute you were, "Aww is someone afraid of the dark?" He joked instead.
"Very funny, If I recall correctly you were the one that just had to have his Spiderman night light plugged in."
He scoffed, "At least I don't cry at the sight of an insect."
"Arachnophobia is a very real thing, Seonghwa."
"Then I hope none are lurking around the cabin." He said in an attempted spooky voice, wiggling his fingers as he moved his arm toward you, which you proceeded to hit out of the way. You stuck your tongue out at him.
"Jackass." You said, and he only replied with his melodic laugh, You threw a folded blanket at his chest, "Now help me with the fort."
You both threw blankets over the couch and propped them on various chairs from about the cabin. Purposely leaving the fluffiest and nicest blankets for the inside, where you also strung fairy lights randomly. It was as magical and cuddly-cozy-warm as ever. You climbed in wrapping yourself in a blanket then opened your laptop in front of you, Seonghwa joining with an armful of snacks.
You hummed, grabbing a handful of popcorn, "You know the way to my heart, Park."
"Its like I'm your bestfriend or something."
"Hm, so 10 Things I Hate About You, ya?"
"Whatever makes you happy." He said with a smile. That's all he wished, for you to be happy, and if sitting here with you in a makeshift fort of blankets and fairy lights, with snacks that were bad for you and cheesy hallmark movies, was what made you happy— then so be it. If you insisted, he would sit there all the days of his life with you.
He sighed lightly to himself, You've got it bad Seonghwa. He thought, though he knew, he'd known. Falling helplessly in love with his bestfriend, who saw him as just that, her bestfriend.
How truly infuriating it must be for him to see you look at others and not even consider him. Though that wasn't your fault. You didn't know. He wished you'd notice, but you still hadn't. It had been years, every holiday, coming up to the cabin— falling asleep next to the other.
He looked over to you, your eyes shut and lips parted slightly. It was unbelievable, you always insisted on a movie night but Seonghwa knew you'd be asleep by the end of the first. That's just how you worked; he studied your sleeping face with a smile, tuning out the movie. He thought you looked beautiful, truly.
Unconsciously you scooted toward Seonghwa's warmth. His lips forming a sad smile as he watched his sleeping bestfriend cuddle into his chest. You'd always been cuddly, ever since childhood— as if you had been starved of physical affection your entire life. So you'd always found reasons to hug him, or others and be close to them, not wishing them the same fate.
This is how he'd fallen in love with you. Why, he'd fallen in love with you. Simply for you and your heart.
Though he was still a teenage boy, and when he woke up in the middle of the night, that night, heart racing, skin damp with sweat and his boxers straining against him. He wanted to curse at himself, to ignore it and go back to sleep. But you moving in your sleep forced him to fight off a moan as your ass pressed against him unintentionally.
He nearly jumped off the floor and right up hurrying to the bathroom, where he shut and locked the door, before leaning against it. He looked at the clock that quietly ticked on the wall, 3:45 am. He sighed, annoyed then pulled his sweatpants down just enough to take himself into his hand, pumping himself as he searched for relief. And he did, cumming over his hand as he whispered your name.
.
The next morning you woke up, Seonghwa no longer next to you. You looked out of the fort finding him sitting on an uncovered part of the couch, eyes fixated on the TV.
"Seonghwa?" You croaked out, he turned to glance at you, his cheeks red but you assumed it was from the cold, "What's going on?" He didn't actually respond just turned up the volume on the TV.
Breaking: All roads on the highway north are closed after an unexpected snow storm dumped at least 5 feet of snow in the middle of the night, authorities are advising residents to be patient as they work to clear the roads.
"We're snowed in." He finally said.
"So- what does that mean about your family coming up?"
"They're not." His voice seemed strained, as if full of dread.
"Jeez, I can't be that awful to be around." You joked before stalking off into the kitchen to make some breakfast.
What you didn't know however was what truly was going through his head. This had to have been some twisted fate the universe had placed on him, working to test his strength in the process. How long could he hold out? How long could he restrain himself in these close quarters? Maybe it was the cold getting to his head, making him weaker.
"Do you want pancakes or waffles?" You asked from the kitchen, effectively knocking Seonghwa from his trance.
"Did you really just ask me that question?" He seemed borderline offended.
"Who else?" You snorted
"Waffles are 100 times better than pancakes, you know that." He stood walking into the kitchen and standing on the opposite side of the island.
"Excuse me? Pancakes are so much better than waffles, they're fluffy."
"But everything just spills off the top, waffles have indents to capture all of that flavor so you don't miss any of it. Plus pancakes are always raw in the center."
"Are not!" You turned around facing him fully now.
"Why'd you even ask me then if you like pancakes better."
"I don't know, maybe because I thought it was a simple question." You retaliated.
"Are we really fighting about pancakes and waffles?"
"Yes, now you can make your own breakfast."
"You're a pain in the ass." He said walking around the island and grabbing cereal from the cabinet.
"Dido." You said in a sing-song voice and smiled at him. He sighed, shaking his head at you with a smile across his own lips. This was what your friendship had always consisted of, joking play fights and comments. You were probably more comfortable around Seonghwa than your own family, partly because he felt like family to you. You threw a chocolate chip at him as he sat at the counter and you wondered in that moment what you would do without your bestfriend. The rest of the day passed at a snails pace, being snowed in only making you more aware of how seemingly little there was to do in the rather large cabin. You danced to music in the living room as Seonghwa laughed saying that you had 'not a single dancer bone in your body' to which you answered him by throwing a pillow at his head. That had led to a merciless pillow fight between you, which of course he ultimately won. Later in the day You sat, reading a book on the couch. You weren't exactly sure what the book was about, you had simply found it on the book shelf. It was interesting, interesting enough for you not to register that your bestfriend had entered the room again after having gone to change.
"Hey," He said, grabbing your attention, "I'm gonna go out, check the main roads. You gonna be ok?" Seonghwa asked pulling gloves onto his hands.
"Ya, I'll be fine." You smiled at him from the couch. When he walked out the door and you heard it close behind him you dropped the book, you needed to shower, and it'd just be easier if Seonghwa was out while you did.
You threw your hair in a bun as to keep it dry, stepping into the running water and washing your body. It was hot against your skin, and you sighed as your body relaxed. You took your time as the water ran over you. The past day had been a whirl-wind of surprises, with all the snow, we were able to call Seonghwa's family with the land line, but other than that there was no reception, No clear way to get home as the snow blocked the roads. The plows hadn't made it through the back roads. It wasn't too awful being stuck with Seonghwa-- if it was anyone other than your bestfriend you think you'd have pulled out all your hair already.  
Though not having your alone time already had you cranky, you sighed, washing your body. Finally feeling clean you shut off the water and stepped out, standing on the small shower mat you looked into the mirror, You allowed your eyes to scan you body decorated with water droplets. You felt-- pretty, as if your insecurities had been washed away, and saw your body for what it was, you. You smiled lightly before grabbing a towel and drying your skin. You left the humid bathroom and went to the bedroom, kneeling in front of your suitcase in hopes of finding something comfortable to wear. Though when you flipped open the lid you saw the crimson lace. You felt heat rush to your cheeks at the thought of why you even packed the scandalous piece of thin fabric. What were you even hoping to accomplish?  
You lifted the lingerie up, you bit your lip lightly, Seonghwa wasn't there it'll be fine if you wore if for a bit. right? You sighed again before you stood, dropping the towel, and letting it pool at your ankles. You pulled on the matching lace set, before looking over yourself in the full length mirror in the bedroom. It fit perfectly, and boy did it make your confidence soar. You felt empowered by your own body, beautiful. Any supposed imperfection, that prompted insecurities in your heart and mind, a mere reminder of how uniquely beautiful you were.
You weren't sure how long you stood there. But your heart stopped when the door was pushed open. Though you didn't yell, you didn't even move to cover yourself. No, you weren't frozen but deep down, you wanted him to see you-- even if you hadn't realized it.
"Hey, Y/n, the roads-" but he stopped mid-sentence when he was welcomed to the sight of you in next to nothing. His eyes seemed to cloud with a dark lust, you held your breath, he stepped closer, the tips of his fingers grabbed at one of the straps. His eyes fleeting over your body once more, as his fingers traced the crimson lace that covered your breast. His intense gaze met yours again when his hand fell away from your chest.
"What are you doing to me?" His voice a low whisper.
"You said you went to check the roads." Your cheeks burned in embarrassment, the way your bestfriends eyes ran over your body, drinking up each curve. It should have made you uncomfortable, but you couldn't help but feel desire creep into your thoughts.
"That was an hour ago."
"Oh." was all you could find in your mind to say. It was silent for a few beats before you decided to speak again, "Seonghwa."
"I need you to let me know if you're uncomfortable, because, I really don't want to hold back right now." You'd never heard Seonghwa sound so sultry before to someone, let alone yourself.
The whine that involuntarily slipped past your lips encouraged him to step forward and entrap your lips with his. It was a searing kiss, he pushed you back against the small desk that was behind you in the small bedroom.
You felt as the red lace of your panties pooled with arousal, your cheeks flushed, wondering how your childhood bestfriend made your body feel so uncontrollably hot, without even so much as a touch to your skin. He hiked you onto the small desk nudging your legs apart with his knee so he could stand between them.
"Was this your plan? Hm? Get me to lose control and fuck you?" His fingers traced your jaw hooking lightly under your chin, forcing your eyes to meet. His eyes held a hard questioning gaze, you tried to shake your head no but he held your chin in place, "Use your words."
"No- no hwa."
"No? You sure darling? You just happened to be wearing this?"
"Yes." Your tone was soft as your confidence, for the first time since you were children, wavered under his gaze.
The corner of his lip quirked up lightly, "Am I making you nervous darling?" His cocky tone oozing from each word.
"Seonghwa-" your voice breathy as you looked up into his eyes, his fingers moved over the wet patch on your red lace panties.
"That needy baby? Hm?" He asked when you whined.
"Please."
"Please what?"
"Make me feel good."
Nothing more needed to be said as his lips were on yours again need and want burning between you. You'd never felt it before, you'd never wanted someone to touch you intimately so badly, especially not Seonghwa. But there was something forbidden about his touch that made your body hot with desire.
He got to his knees before you, his face now parallel with your cunt. He kissed over the thin fabric and your breath shuddered. He thought you looked beautiful, the red lace complimenting your skin tone perfectly.
"God you're perfect." And with that he pushed the barrier of fabric to the side running his tongue through your slick folds. The noises you made only further expressing how needy you really were, it felt wrongfully right. His mouth on you bringing you to the edge quicker than you imagined possible and it was just his tongue, he didn't need anything more to pleasure you.
"S-seonghwa-" your head lulled back in response to the overwhelming pleasure, your eyes squeezing shut, your ears tuning into the wet noises eliciting from between your legs.
Your head snapping back to the man between your legs when he pulled away. You whined with a solid pout on your lips having not finished.
"Not yet." Was all he said, wiping his chin with the back of his hand. He pulled you from the desk, his lips finding yours again as he pushed you back until the backs of your knees hit the edge of the bed. He eased you down onto the plush mattress, your lips never separating.
Removing his clothes you felt his own hot skin against yours. Everything seeming to melt together, the lines of your friendship, your bodies as you pulled eachother closer— feeling your need grow tenfold as his hips grinded down on yours.
Voice breathy in your throat you managed to push his name out, "Seonghwa-"
"Mmm, you sound so pretty saying my name."
"Seonghwa, please." Your voice more stern now, you needed relief from the pulsing between your thighs.
"Begging now, are we?" He smirked as he teased you and you rolled your eyes, "Don't worry darling, I'll make you cum on my cock."
And in that he didn't lie, his lips peppering you neck and collarbones before wrapping around your lace covered nipples. Removing his own clothes eagerly, but he froze.
"Condom-"
"I'm on the pill, Hwa, please don't stop now." The desperation in your voice fueling his own need to be inside you. He craved to feel you warm around him.
Running the head of his cock over you folds caused his breath to catch in his throat, every late-night forbidden fantasy when he laid in his bed alone, dominant hand pumping himself to the thought of you. It was all about to become very real, a shaky moan leaving both your lips as he pressed into you. There was no going back after that, not as you came on him within minutes— no matter how much your head denied your want for him, your body couldn't.
Though when he came, soon after you, he didn't stop. You whined not because it was bad, but because the overstimulation burned in your stomach. It was intoxicating and Seonghwa continued to drill into you. Determination was clear on his face, his lower lip pulled between his teeth. Your eyes met his.
"God, I can't get enough of you." He panted out. Each breath grew sharper as he worked himself to his second consecutive high.
You couldn't speak, your brain was far to hazy, only your moans of pleasure and your thoughts screaming his name. The slapping of skin, over the bed creaking beneath you, and your incessant noises— becoming deafeningly loud.
Though you weren't all too worried about about being too loud. The dense snow covered forest beyond the walls of this cabin hushing it all, "Seonghwa!" Had only been a mere whisper to the trees. What had just happened between you and your bestfriend? You couldnt really say-- and he couldnt either as you both tugged on your clothes again. Neither one of you having any clue how to start the conversation at large. Though Seonghwa's voice finally broke the silence.
"That was-" He paused searching for the right word to use.
"Really good." You finished for him, another lapse of silence passed.
"I'll just- go and start a fire." Seonghwa said before leaving the room.
"I'll make dinner." You spoke quicker than you normally would and rushed off to find solitude in the kitchen. In the privacy of your own minds you thought the same thing, What was that? And why did you want more? Though was there even more to ask for when you'd seemed to have done everything?
The two of you slept separately that night, not wanting to fall into the temptation of the others skin. At least not before you figured everything out. But as you laid alone in the bed, and he in the living room in front of the fire, all that either of you could think of was your bodies pressed snuggly to the others. How it felt to have him inside you, the feeling of his hot lips on your skin. It was loud in your thoughts, and every time you tried to push it down and settle your heart, It only got louder. Sleep did eventually come to you, albeit reluctantly. It was rather short lived, you waking up to Seonghwa shaking you awake.
"They cleared the roads, my mom said we should just head home." You nodded in understanding, before watching his back as he left the room, studying the way he moved. It was effortless, graceful. You shook your head, bringing you back to reality.
By the time you were ready, Seonghwa had already had the car fully packed. You could sense that he was eager to get back home and have time for himself to think, and you didn't blame him because you wanted the same thing. You didn't want to walk on egg shells and give each other the silent treatment any longer. Yes, you wanted to figure it all out and for things to go back to normal between you two. But you couldn't help the instinct to run and hide because the feelings in your heart scared you. You'd grown so comfortable knowing Seonghwa as your bestfriend, that you weren't sure of how to react to that security changing overnight. That, your bestfriend could be more than that of a bestfriend.
.
It was January and the start of the last semester of senior year. A week and a half since you'd slept with you bestfriend. Seonghwa had effectively been avoiding you and you weren't exactly searching for him either, you didn't know how to start that conversation.
'hey, I know we broke every rule in the book between us but, bestfriends still?' You knew it simply wouldn't be that easy. The things he said, the way he touched you, and made you feel. The emotions now a constant linger in your mind.
You couldn't just move on like it were nothing, because it wasn't nothing. Maybe it hadn't been the best idea but you couldn't help but think, that you wanted it again. More of him, if that were even possible. You'd never thought you'd think of Hwa that way, not in a million years. Though you didn't know how to face him. But not seeing and talking to him after being so vulnerable with each other made your heart ache.
It wasn't until he showed up at your door on that rainy Saturday afternoon, that you saw him. Your heart picking up in speed. His wet hair sticking to his forehead, had he always looked this good doing something so simple? Wearing something so simple? You were sure he could hear your heart pounding in your chest.
"We need to talk." He said, almost as if he was trying to convince himself, he continued as he stepped through the door, "I can't- we can't avoid this anymore. I'm sorry, y/n, I shouldn't have came onto you like that, god I should've known this would mess everything up."
"Seonghwa-"
"You were vulnerable and I let my feelings get the better of me," he hung his head, "Y/n I'm so sorry, and you don't have to forgive me."
"Seonghwa, I'm not mad at you." you said quickly so he wouldn't interrupt you again.
"Then why are you avoiding me?"
"Why are you?" You asked softly, trying to convey your thoughts, you sighed, "You're just as scared to face these feelings as I am."
His head snapped up and his eyes found yours for, what seemed to be, the first time since he'd been there. He searched your face for any sign that you weren't serious, he came up empty handed. Had you both been feeling this?
"You-?" His eyes continued to search yours, He had so many questions, When? Why him?
"-Love you." You finished his thought with a whisper, but he heard you loud and clear. His features visibly seemed to soften before he was kissing you again. You had longed for his lips to be on yours again since the moment they left, for you melted so easily into it.
He pulled back resting his forehead on your own, "I love you too." and he delved in for another kiss, before he quickly pulled back again, "Your mom."
His voice a low whisper with a tone of disappointment. But you only chuckled at him.
"She just left for her 72." You told him, and he smiled, already having plans for your alone time.
"Perfect."
You shook your head at his eagerness as he practically dragged you up the stairs to your room, "You know we'll have to tell our parents eventually right?"
"I know," He said, turning to face you once you were both in you bedroom, "But lets just enjoy this alone time." His palms held your cheeks as he kissed you with such passion it felt as if he'd taken your breath away, But you leaned into his warmth anyway before kicking your door shut with your heel.
As the sun slipped beneath the horizon and the rain poured harder outside, he showed you how much he loved you, he told you, and you fully welcomed the lingering emotions. You became his, in the twisted sheets, the loving kisses, in the noises that escaped from your swollen lips, and the baroque, Crimson Lace.
362 notes · View notes
captain-aralias · 3 years
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Life stuff
this feels kind of weird, because i’ve never used my tumblr like this, but i would have written something on my livejournal, and i want people to know - i just dont want to have to tell people about it, or really talk about it at all. 
but i also wanted to write this, idk. 
(TW: impending death of a parent)
my mum has cancer. 
it’s a rare form of cancer, called peritoneal cancer, which is similar to but different from ovarian cancer - i think it mostly gets diagnosed (like my mum’s) when it’s too late to do anything about it. all the treatment has been palliative only i.e. letting her live as long and as comfortably as possible.
she was diagnosed in september last year - about a year ago, a few months after running the ‘virtual’ london marathon on the isle of wight, where she lives, and obviously deep in lockdown. 
as someone undergoing chemo, she was deemed extremely vulnerable to covid, and so she spent most of the early pandemic isolating. she also said she didn’t see any point in my brother and i visitng her, particularly given the risks, because we could talk via facetime - which is fair enough - all of which meant my brother and i didn’t go to visit her until May this year, after she’d done the first lot of chemo and was already doing much better again. 
a few months after that, we found out that while she’d responded really well to the chemo, her cancer wasn’t responding at all to the maintenance drugs that were suposed to stop it coming back, so she came off the drugs completely. medical advice was basically chemo is as effective whenever you do it, so you might as well enjoy your life for a while, we’ll monitor it every month, and when things start to get too bad, we’ll put you back in chemo. 
it’s friday tomorrow - so two fridays ago, i saw my mum in london after she’d just seen hamilton with her partner, graham. both of them loved hamilton. her hair had grown back, she seemed pretty normal. about a week later, she was in A&E - and she’s been in the hospital all week. she’s got a total bowel obstruction, which means she can’t eat and hasn’t eaten since last week.
now in a weird situation where there are a few tricky, difficult options (including being moved off the island back onto the mainland to a bigger hospital) that will mean that she stays alive long enough to get the chemo, which will probably get her back to hamilton-watching strength, or ... she could die really soon. like, in a few days. 
we can’t visit. her partner can’t visit because covid - there’s this really sad-making photo of him looking happy on the phone through a window to my mum, also on the phone, inside the hospital. 
i feel...
???? :( :( :( ....
i guess this is the main point of the post. i’m not writing this crying, i’m writing it pretty neutrally - because my brain isn’t really processing it right now, and mostly doesn’t process it. 
i did cry earlier today while on the phone to various people, and then i went back to work. i hate crying, i hate being sad, and i dont like people comforting me, because it makes me realise that i have something to be sad about. 
i’ve known she had cancer for a year. i haven’t been able to hang out with her most of that time. i would say, we are fairly close, although not nearly as close as some families. we don’t talk every week, but we talk regularly, and have seen each other regularly. 
i’m so incredibly privileged that nothing that bad has ever happened to me, even though i’m 35. i’ve never been to a funeral, which seemed like a major life win and now i think was a mistake, i should have gone to funerals for people i card about less to help get used to it. 
the literal only comparison i have to how i feel is when my cat Anton died suddenly  about 3 years ago - i handled it with a mix of not thinking about it, being intensely sad for as brief a period as i could, and probably by thinking about how sad my girlfriend was about it, and sort of sidestepping my own feelings in comparison. 
i remember when my last remaining grandparent died - and i was about 14 or something - i wasn’t sad for myself, i was only sad for her my dad being sad. for ages, i worried that i was not going to be sad enough about this - and i still sort of am. 
but i also passionately hate the idea of being sad and i know i’ll look to avoid it as much as possible, and try and get on with my life. 
i know my mum dying isn’t about me - when people write after death it’s about the person who died, obviously. that makes sense. but this post isn’t about my mum, who is a very cool person, much cooler than me - it’s about me. because i am self-obsessed and this is going to wreck my life for a while.
it’s weird, because i can see it on the horizon but it’s not happening yet. and i dont know whether that’s good or bad - i feel like it’s good, in a way. someone ages ago told me that the grieving period starts when you get the news. that seems very true to me - but also, i know that it’s going to ramp up, and so i’m like in the expectation of true grief right now. 
it’s sort of like she died, but also is still going to die, but also i can magically still talk to her. which is really nice, in a way, it’s like a second chance, because i know i didn’t reach out enough before she had cancer. and i’m aware enough of my own actions that i know this is what’s been going on in my head the past year - i should reach out more, because she has cancer, but i dont want to make it seem like i’m reaching out because she has cancer, even though she knows i know she has cancer....... and also, i’m busy writing this fic. /o\
the fact that she seemed to recover (even though my mum insisted on saying ‘i am not recovered, i’m going to die soon’ like several time as a day as a disclaimer) also totally messed with my head, because i knew logically - ok, it’s happening. but also, things seemed so normal when we speak. even when i called her today, and she hasn’t eaten for a week, it seemed normal. 
btw - i realised this week i had no idea how cancer killed people. my mum is a scientist and has looked up all kinds of things about what’s killing her; i’m clearly a simon snow and didn’t want to think about things i can’t help. if you’d asked me, i’d have said like... it poisons you or something, or blocks bloodflow to your brain. not what i think will actually do it which is.... starvation. or being too weak to survive being pumped full of the poison that is intended to kill the cancer. (that one i guess i could have predicted.) man - cancer sucks. i mean, we all knew it. 
(i failed to get into cambridge university at interview stage, many years ago. the man who interviewed me gave me some extremely memorable feedback, which is that i needed to dial back the ‘defensive irony’ - which i thnk in that context meant i put myself down and tried to make a joke of everything. i remember when i got the phonecall to say Anton, my cat, was dead, i literally did not know what to do with my voice - because my instinct was to try and make the vet feel better, and also to present myself as bright and capable, and yet this unexpected and devasting news had just come through. rainbow wrote something sort of similar because she’s a good writer, for shepard as he tells penny about his curse. i feel like that.) 
what else did i want to say? 
i thought i had more time. ‘hamilton’ will probably always be tied to this moment in my mind, because of how much i’ve spoken to my mum about it in the past few weeks (i sent her the remix - she liked it, she listened to it in hospital while trying to drink more than 100ml of fluids) but yeah - this is basically a line from hamilton here. whatever. don’t make me feel my own feelings, let me just quote things. i dont like my own feelings. (no, i dont want to go to therapy - they’d make me talk about my feelings all the time, i’m british for god’s sake.) 
i’m 35 - my mum is 68. i didn’t think she’d die this early or that i’d have to deal with this yet. but then i also don’t think bad things are ever going to happen to me - because mostly they haven’t, see above. i wear a mask and am double vaccinated because i’m not an asshole, but i dont really believe i’ll get covid because bad things don’t happen to me. i didn’t think my mum would die - maybe ever, but definitely not yet. she’s been retired a decade after teaching (science) and has enjoyed it. 
i thought i had time to not have kids yet - which is the other thing (like hamilton) that this moment is really tied up with for me. i feel like 35 is getting quite old, but also not that old to still not have kids, but intend to maybe have them. my feelings about kids were basically like - up until like 25, i thought, yes, definitely. i mean, before i had a realtiosnhip (22-ish), i just assumed i would probably have a het marriage and have kids etc, like people do, but after that we were still talking, yes, children at some point. 
didn’t prioritise it for a few reasons - none of my close friends had children until quite recently, so it just didn’t seem like an urgent thing in the way that it probably does for people with different friendship groups. waiting to be settled enough in a job to be able to take maternity leave without it feeling like a rip off for my employer. waiting for a good time in erin’s PhD writing cycle. and then pandemic. and then a few years ago, maybe as i turned 30, i thought - maybe we won’ have kids, because we still haven’t - and i vocalised that to erin. 
also, i know a lot of people are gay and have children, so it’s not like it’s a thing that is impossible at all, but it’s much much harder if you have to leave your home and your relationship in order to get a child. it has to be a very very conscious decisions. i have friend who are men who have good genes, but we’re not so close i want to ask them for their sperm/to be involved however remotely in making a child - and (i was surprised to discover) (what a lot of things i dont know anything about) you an’t really just buy sperm, it’s not truly legal except through a clinic. and it’s extremely expensive to get inseminated in a clinic, and the NHS don’t really do that, so you do have to pay it. i thought kids would be expensive after they were born, but not before. and i REALLY wanted a house, much much more than - i think even today - i’ve ever wanted a child. i REALLY wanted a house - and now we have a house, and it’s pretty good. but - that’s where the money went, until the pandemic - thanks pandemic - so now we do have some disposable cash at last, because i didn’t commute. 
but now erin is worried about climate change - and wheher it’s right to bring more children into the world, and other things. and.... i think i do want to be pregnant, it’s what i’m planning for - don’t leave this job (which admittedly i also really like, and pays me well - i dont thin i need to leave) because next stop maternity leave, but..... 
i don’t know whether i am thinking, time ot have kids because my best friend just had a baby (the baby’s name is horatio - for real, i actually love this name) (i also haven’t seen her or the baby except over skype, because anna - my friend - is, like my mother, also scared of pandemic) and my brain is like - ok, well, if anna is doing it, i guess the time is here 
AND - i know there’s a large part of me that was like, gotta be pregnant and ideally have the baby before my mum dies so she gets to see that she had a grandchild. my brother and i are both queer, btw, in case you were wondering - he’s considering whether he wants to transition right now (but is still happy with he/him pronouns) and - you may find this astonishing, but i genuinely don’t know whether he’d consider himself ace, or has been in relationships. he’s very private, he has OCD and is in therapy - but anyway, he’s probably not having kids anytime soon (i think!) and graham - my mum’s boyfriend/partner of 10+ years. -has grandchildren, but my extremely middleclass white (but definitely not conservative voters, always 100% not-tory) parents ended up with me and my brother.... and i don’t know, as i say, i don’t know whether my brain is saying ‘have kids before it’s too late’ - although i know by now that it will be too late. even if my mum recovers from this, this time, i don’t think i can produce a child before she dies - and she isn’t asking me too, she’s not like that, but i would have liked her to be there. i thought she would be. 
so - i’m thinking about that. also, about getting a dog. i really want a dog - although i don’t want to upset the three cats (one we’ve had for eight years or so, the other two we got after Anton died). it’s ALSO really hard and expensive to get a dog. you’d think with all these ‘a dog isn’t just for the pandemic, a dog is for life’ type adverts around, that it would be easy to adcidentally get a dog - i’ve looked! you ccan’t get a dog unless you have no cats and you’re super experienced and can take a dog with lots of trauma or medical problems, or you’re willing to pay thousands of pounds. like - even for a regular not even pedigree dog - at least a thousand. pedigree dog - several thousand. i dont want a puppy either - i want a dog. 
and - this is embarrassing to admit, but i’ve alrady told erin - i genuinely had a phase of being super annoyed when i’d read fics where someone just ‘got a dog’. it’s not that simple!!! it’s fiction, it doesn’t matter - chill out. the baby thing too - although weirdly not fics where magic meant it was possible to get a baby, weirdly it was smut. i had a brief week or so of crazy (and i don’t think i am that crazy) where i’d read about fictional semen and just be like - wtf, it’s so hard to get hold of that shit. (it’s not real, this isn’t real semen being wasted, calm down - and i dont even really know if i want kids, i might just think i do.) 
the other thing about the bad thing being soon but not yet (but also being all the time, but not if you dnt think about it) is that i’m thinking - should i prioritise writing my remix now, in case my mum dies and i’m too sad to do it, and then i didn’t do my remix? i was definitely thinking this while writing classroom politics (i hope my mum doesn’t die becaue i dont want to be too sad to miss the deadline) and in the run up to AWTWB .....
today i wrote a list of things for work that would need to be picked up if i have to unexpectedly stop working, either because i’m too sad, or because i have to do funeral stuff, or .... i guess legal stuff about settling the estate. (i guess this happens to a lot of people, too, but it’s also a bit of a mindfuck that my brother and i will inherit her house and a bunch of cash when she dies - i’m pretty well off, my brotehr does virtual reality theatre stuff so really isn’t - we’ve talked about how much easier both of our lives will be with a huge injection of cash, and how we dont know what to feel about that) (great news, dogs and kids are really expensive! time to find out whether i really wanted to spend my money on those.) told people i like at work that it’s coming, and that i dont want to talk about it. and mostly just... carrying on with life, really. until it happens. 
it’s so weird how easy it is to carry on most of the time.i know my mum’s partner is not doing nearly so well - he has to cope with an empty house and he’s retired. i’ve had periods - including right now - where i wake up every morning and check my phone to see whehter someone called me or texted me to tell me it’s over. but most of the day i’m actually really fine. i even had an ok day today. and i don’t know whether i want that to be the case, or whether i shouldn’t let myself do that. i dont know what i should prepare for in terms of where i’ll be - will i want lots of stuff to distract me (this is my guess) and work is very good for that, or i will want to clear time and space because i can’t operate and dont want people to offer me comfort. (FYI - this post isn’t written to make people say anything to me, i definitely dont want to talk about it, so please don’t feel you either have to comment or check in on me - i don’t really want you to. it’s enough to have written it, in my own time, in my own space.)
i think i wanted to write this post in a way because i thought i probably wouldnt want to write it after my mum died - because i probably wouldn’t want to say anything about it at all, for a few years. 
my mum keeps telling me about the show ‘jane the virgin’ - which she’s half way through. shhe asked me to give it a try, so i did (she often tells me about shows on radio 4, which i rarely listen to. i thouht i had more time.) i’ve watched an episode (because she has cancer, i should listen to her recommendations)(but i dont want her to know that’s why i did it) and i do quite like - it’s light and frothy and well cut together (although about kids and artificial insemination, of course). i guess in a worse case scenario where i’m too sad to work or write, i will probably watch a lot of this show - which is incredibly not sad - and feel sad about how my mum never finished it. 
BUT ALSO SHE MIGHT BE OK. for a while. 
i dont know how i feel, blargh. anyway. this was a long post. i think i wrote it mostly for me. feelings are weird. covid really sucks and so does cancer. 
going to order some chicken and watch inuyasha.
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for the 50 questions, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 ,6 ,7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41, 42, 43, 44, 45, 46, 47, 48, 49, and 50 :)
LET’S DO THIS
1. What’s your favorite candle scent?
Honestly? I’m a basic bitch xD I love vanilla scented anything. Wooden wicks are the BEST. I want to find a candle that smells like fresh cut grass and a candle that smells like lumber. Those two scents, especially together, remind me of my grandpa who worked in a lumber yard and repaired lawn mowers. I treasure those memories so much omg.
2. What female celebrity do you wish was your sister?
Does Amethyst count? I actually don’t know xD I honestly can’t even think of any celebrities that I like??? I’ll say Jenna Marbles!
3. What male celebrity do you wish was your brother?
Again, I’m not really someone who goes nuts over celebrities, heh. I don’t know how to answer this D:
4. How old do you think you’ll be when you get married?
I mean, I’m 22 now and my fingers are crossed that it will happen soonish. The boyfriend lives in California and I think it might make things easier if we get married? Then he can come here!
5. Do you know a hoarder?
I don’t think so??? I mean I could be wrong.
6. Can you do a split?
I have tried for YEARS and I CANNOT DO IT ASLAJBODUBFODSUFNODSUBFLJDBFUBEF I FUCKING WISH I COULD
7. How old were you when you learned how to ride a bike?
Fuck if I know... Damn... I remember learning when I was... I think I was... 4? Maybe? I was super young.
8. How many oceans have you swam in?
I’ve only seen one ocean, the Pacific Ocean. I don’t know if I’ve swam in it, though. I know I’ve touched it and waded in it a little, but I don’t know if I’ve actually gone swimming...
9. How many countries have you been to?
2! Just Canada and the US. I’ve always wanted to go to England and Indonesia, though! I love Harry Potter, I always have (fucking fight me) and I decided when I was little that England was a must for me, that I had to go see Hogwarts. And Indonesia, my inner volcanologist NEEDS to go! That’s where my favourite volcano, Krakatoa, is located. 
10. Is anyone in your family in the army?
I hope not! I don’t think so. Or... Maybe? I think my cousin Austin is. I don’t know. I don’t remember the last time I saw him. We don’t really talk about him? My boyfriends dad was, though. That’s all I know.
11. What would you name your daughter if you had one?
OO OO OO!!!! So, my boyfriend and I have discussed this! I have a set of dog tags that I always wear that have our names and our kids names on them! We want two girls who will be named Raven Zaidee Trujillo and Dexter Rosie Trujillo. Dexter’s middle name was originally going to be Bonnuit (French for good night) but one of his best friends was sadly murdered earlier this year and he wanted to honor her memory.
12. What would you name your son if you had one?
ANOTHER QUESTION I AM EXCITED TO ANSWER!!!!! Our little boys name is going to be Blade Wayne Trujillo!!! I’ve always had a thing for the name Blade and Wayne was his dads middle name.
13. What’s the worst grade you got on a test?
Ffffffff I can’t even remember what I did yesterday... Um, I think it was a flat out 0 because I didn’t even do the test. It was a physics test. I was scared of the student aid lady at school so I never switched out of physics and I literally used that block to sleep and play on my phone. I never even showed up to write the exam.
14. What was your favorite TV show when you were a child?
Sailor Moon!!! I fucking LOVED that show!!!! I also loved Little Bear :D When I was 12, though, I was OBSESSED with this show called Disasters of the Century. It was a documentary style tv show about natural disasters and plane and train crashes and it was SO COOL. I LOVED IT SO MUCH. I used to wake up extra early before school just to watch!!
15. What did you dress up as on Halloween when you were eight?
Ummm…. I think I was a ninja? I remember I wore my karate gi out one year. I lived in Alberta at the time so there was like 2 or 3 feet of snow on the ground so I had to wear a snowsuit under my costume which was a HUGE disappointment because I was turned into a marshmallow rather than a ninja. Either that or I was Harry Potter. It was great! People always asked me though if I would rather be Hermione because I was a girl and my parents essentially told them to fuck off because I was HARRY FUCKING POTTER.
16. Have you read any of the Harry Potter, Hunger Games or Twilight series?
YES. My apartment is almost entirely Harry Potter. I have an Expecto Patronum tattoo and my ratty memorial tattoo on my leg is also Harry Potter. I am a diehard fan until the end. Fucking fight me. I also read and own the Hunger Games trilogy. Such good books omg. I was in the Amazing Book Race club in school and one year we had to read The Hunger Games and we even did a book trailer for it! I still have it! We showed my boyfriend when he came out in April xD The books are MUCH better than the movies.
17. Would you rather have an American accent or a British accent?
British! Does my Harry Potter loving ass need to say more?
18. Did your mother go to college?
I don’t think so? I’m not sure. I don’t know if anyone in my family has.
19. Are your grandparents still married?
Kind of? Not really. My Papa passed away from lung cancer in 2010. 
20. Have you ever taken karate lessons?
Yes xD I started when I was 5 and I stopped when I was 13 I think? I got injured in a biking accident and had to leave. I was going to go back but as I was getting ready to, I got a really bad knee injury and I just haven’t been back. I really want to go back, though! It was fun and I don’t get nearly enough exercise.
21. Do you know who Kermit the frog is?
I sure as fuck hope I do!
22. What’s the first amusement park you’ve been to?
I think it was Playland, my parents would have taken me when I Was super young. But the first amusement park I remember going to is Callaway Park in Alberta. I loved that place! I remember throwing a temper tantrum because my dad told the lady was 6 when I was actually 8 and I LOST MY MIND.
23. What language, besides your native language, would you like to be fluent in?
Any language! I speak French but I would love to learn Michif which is the native language of Metis people as I am Metis c:
24. Do you spell the color as grey or gray?
I think I alternate, actually xD
25. Is your father bald?
Yes, he is! 
26. Do you know triplets?
I was about to say no, but I think I met triplet babies once who I may or may not be distantly related to? I’m not actually sure anymore.
27. Do you prefer Titanic or The Notebook?
I’ve never actually seen either! I feel like the Titanic would be a no go for me, though, because I have issues with big boats and the fact that it’s real fucks me up and also James Cameron almost killed his cast by actually making them sit in ice cold water for the sake of hard nipples and realism????
28. Have you ever had Indian food?
I have had very badly made butter chicken once. It was so bad, WAY too much curry. And I think my boyfriend and I once ordered from an Indian restaurant. I ordered from the kids menu because that was the only place where there was non-spicy options xD
29. What’s the name of your favorite restaurant?
Umm... Hmm... White Spot? Maybe... But I also enjoy El Grullesays Grill... I slaughtered that name ;_; It’s a Mexican restaurant in California that serves meaty fries! God I miss meaty fries... They’re like nacho fries! They have mozzarella cheese, sour cream, green onions, and shredded steak :3
30. Have you ever been to Olive Garden?
I actually don’t know. I think maybe? But I was too young to remember it. I think I’ve gotten leftovers, though, from when my grandma went.
31. Do you belong to any warehouse stores (Costco, BJ’s, etc.)?
I’m too broke for that shit ._____.
32. What would your parents have named you if you were the opposite gender?
Pfft beats the fuck outta me. We never talked about that.
33. If you have a nickname, what is it?
Bug! 
34. Who’s your favorite person in the world?
Honestly? My boyfriend xD He is one of the very few people in this world who doesn’t tolerate me because he loves and embraces all of my weirdness xD Him and G are my favourite peeps.
35. Would you rather live in a rural area or in the suburbs?
I actually can never remember which is which and I mean, I’m not picky. As long as people leave me alone and I’m in a safe area, I’m happy xD
36. Can you whistle?
Yes! Can you hear me? I’m doing it!
37. Do you sleep with a nightlight?
I do not. I used to want to when I was little. I have one in my bathroom, though.
38. Do you eat breakfast every morning?
Pfft. No. I’m not a breakfast person. I work nights so I get home at 7 in the morning so if I eat before I go to bed, no joke, I will just make a box of macaroni.
39. Do you take any pills or medication daily?
I do! I take medication for my ADHD so that I don’t eat everything in my apartment and I can function somewhat normally.
40. What medical conditions do you have?
I am ADHD, I struggle with depression (it’s not nearly as bad as it use to be luckily), anxiety, I suspect BPD. I have a few joint injuries that will never really properly heal but other than that, nothing.
41. How many times have you been to the hospital?
Hehehe…. Um… For me? Food poisoning… injuries… suicide attempts… hmmm… 11 or 12 times? All but one in the last 10 years. What can I say, I’m clumsy as fuck xD
42. Have you ever seen Finding Nemo?
Yes! I love that movie!! 
43. Where do you buy your jeans?
Pennington’s. I am THICC. It’s the only place I can get jeans that fit without destroying what little confidence I have. Sadly though they are NOT cheap so I currently only own 2 pairs that fit me and the thighs on both are destroyed so they are being held together by denim patches from an old pair of shorts, fabric glue and some mediocre hand stitching.
44. What’s the last compliment you got?
I have vibrantly coloured hair. Right now, it’s green. I’ve had very brightly coloured hair since I was 15 I think? My natural colour is brown. I’ve only had brown hair once since I started dying it and that was when I went to go visit my boyfriend for the first time because he had never seen me with my natural colour. I just said that I looked weird with brown hair and he said “No, you look incredible.”
45. Do you usually remember your dreams in the morning?
Hmm, sometimes. Most of the time, I do. Been having a lot of nightmares and stress dreams lately, though, so I wish I didn’t...
46. What flavor tea do you enjoy?
I absolutely prefer herbal teas. My favourite is Just Peachy from DavidsTea!! I also REALLY love White Peach omg
47. How many pairs of shoes do you currently own?
Ahh…. Hmm…. I have… 8 or 9? I think? I’m not home so I can’t check.
48. What religion will you raise your children to practice?
None. I grew up Atheist. I knew of religion, obviously. My grandma is religious. But I just never understood it. My understanding was that there was a God and that he lived in the clouds and I remember looking at the sky one day and there were no clouds and I was concerned. I also didn’t understand Heaven or Hell because neither have been seen and the lack of tangibility fucked with me so hard. My grandpa got really sick in 2009, he had lung cancer. I remember when he was in the hospital I really tried to look for something, anything, to turn to for comfort because everything was falling apart around me. He unfortunately passed away and I was angry because if God is real and if he actually loved us, why would he let us suffer the way that he did, the way that I was. How dare he?! That was honestly the last straw for me. If my children want to explore religion or they want to go to church and see what it’s all about, I will absolutely support them in doing so, but I will not raise them in any specific religion.
49. How old were you when you found out that Santa wasn’t real?
That was something I just kind of grew out of. I was never exclusively told that any of that was fake. I actually have a memory from when I was 3 or 4 of sneaking out of my room really late at night and peeking into the living room where I could hear my parents talking and I saw Santa and Mrs. Clause? I also remember one Christmas night where I couldn’t sleep (this is when I was maybe 10 now) so I was watching the snow fall outside and seeing if I could spot Santa in the sky when I heard someone walking in the hall. I lived in a bit of an abusive household so I had learned what everyone’s footsteps sounded like and the footsteps were heavy, MUCH heavier than my dads (who was very overweight at the time), it definitely wasn’t my Uncle, and they were wearing shoes (or boots). I was too scared to go look outside while they walked away but after the house was quiet again, I checked, and my stocking was outside my door, so I still don’t know how to explain that...
50. Why do you have a youtube?
AHAHAHA SHAMELESS SELF PROMOTION!!!! I obviously have my personal YouTube but I don’t generally post anything, I just use it to watch shit. BUT MY OTHER YOUTUBE… I use YouTube @RatPotatoez to post videos of my rats! I will also soon use it to post my podcasts!!! RatPotatoez can also be found on Facebook, Instagram, SnapChat, Vent, basically everywhere! You should go follow me everywhere so you can see the cuteness that is my rats c:
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stvrwalker · 5 years
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               ( female ) haven’t seen AMELIE “AMI” WALKER around in a while. the TAISSA FARMIGA lookalike has been known to be (+) HUMBLE & (+) INTELLIGENT, but SHE can also be (-) INSECURE & (-) SHY. The 21 year old is a SOPHOMORE majoring in ASTRONOMY. I believe they’re living in AUDAX but I popped by earlier and no one answered the door.
                         okay no joke this is probably my last character bc i don’t Think i can handle four but voila okay !! so this is ami. i love her. v good girl but as always , when ur done reading like to plot and i’ll def message u for it !! let’s get started.
Okay so to start - she’s a v old OC but normally I don’t write her in non-supernatural settings so this is the v first time I’m doin that and I’M RLY HAPPY W/ WHAT I CAME UP WITH she’s a telepath who can’t turn off her telepathy in my own lores but that’s not what we’re focusing on here
Bisexual bby who loves the stars and sea. As a child she grew rly fascinated w/ space and the like and her name . . . is not actually Amelie. No her first name is Amidala but she doesn’t tell ppl that bc she’s embarrassed about it. Her dad picked it out.
Grew up with both parents until she hit the age of thirteen and her dad passed away - and then she was taken in by her grandparents. Now they were very very religious and they sent Ami to church camp. That’s where she met Theo who’d be the love of her life for the next five years. And honestly she never rly liked church camp bc she was so shy but he absolutely brightened her experience there. He helped her get out of her shell.
Needles to say though , Ami is painfully sweet but even more so shy. She can easily come off as a recluse because she’s scared of rejection and scared of people not liking her for reasons she doesn’t really know. But when you talk to her , she’s awfully polite and will do her best to make u happy in any way she can !!!
Photograph memory and WICKED smart. She likes to people watch, studying people and just observing them especially when... she thinks they’re cool n’ can’t work up the courage to tlak to them. Not at all.
Once again as a child she was really into space and the ocean - both because they were both vastly unknown and discovery and learning... was her favorite thing. Yes she actually likes her classes bc new information is always welcome information.
And for that reason too she’s a major bookworm !! Reading is perhaps her favorite thing to do, immersing herself in woven words of a world that’s not her own. Fantasy, history, anything honestly she’ll take it. Prefers fiction over non-fiction , though. But again , she’ll read anything.
Probably spends most of her time in the library for this reason.
Also very into brainteasers, puzzles, and stuff ?? Like she’s the type of person who can do two rubiks cubes in ninety seconds. Probably has a backpack full of them. 
VERY GOOD AT BAKING AND MAKING TEA AND HOT CHOCOLATE AND STUFF LIKE TRUST ME YOU WILL WANT AMI TO BAKE FOR U SHE’S GOOD AT IT
Also for NO REASON AT ALL wants to learn how to draw maps and does that... in her free time. Mainly celestial maps, though.
OKAY OKAY OKAY so again she always wanted to travel and after her breakup with Theo ( which was bc she was so scared of changing into someone bad for him or that he didn’t like ) she took a gap year in college to see the world. She’s been to nearly every corner of Europe, and then Russia, Japan, China, and Korea - all with the money she saved up from working + her grandparents’ money since they spoiled her the best they could. And Ami never asked for anything. 
Knows how to fluently speak Italian too bc that was the language she took in high school and also just... likes learning languages.
AGAIN SHE LIKES TO LEARN STUFF.
When Tatiana died she was absolutely devastated and it was so soon after she came back to school she just. Didn’t know how to deal with it. She’d bought Tatiana shoes from Milan to gift to her and she didn’t even get a chance to wear them : ‘ (
So now she’s in Lockwood again to pursue a career in Astronomy. Whatever that may be. She also wants to study Marine Biology because she loves the creatures of the sea and wouldn’t mind working in an aquarium or something. Or a planetarium. Or a museum. The dream is to work in any of those fields tbh but Ami’s starting with Astronomy since she has a slight lean towards space.
WANTED CONNECTIONS okay okay so
sb she sorta met while traveling and befriended and DIDN’T KNOW they also attended Lockwood?? that would have been p cool
someone who also takes an interest in astronomy or oceanography just so they can geek out w/ Ami abt it bc omg SHE LOVES TO LEARN STUFF
someone more... outgoing who furthermore tries to grab Ami out of her shell but it’s.... in the more. Direct ways. Like taking her to parties and not telling her where they’re going. AMI WILL FREAK.
Someone Ami’s friends with who’s kind of a bad influence but instead of goin along with them Ami’s just there to take care of the damage when it’s done and over with.
Studying rivals ?? Maybe sb with the same dreams aspirations as Ami and also incredibly smart like her but they don’t see eye to eye and argue instead of working together and getting along
IDK MAN HIT ME W/ SOME SHIT IM DOWN FOR ANYTHING 
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nerdybubblebee · 5 years
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I Love You More Than Ice Cream
It’s A Date
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Chap 5/?
Chapter Summary:
Jon takes Dany on their very first date. A dinner for two under the starry sky, talks of childhood shenanigans and a relatively large revelation about Jon comes to light. How will things go? Will they have a good time? Will the night end with a sweet goodnight in a meeting of lips for the very first time? Read on my dear readers XD.
Can be read on Ao3 too. Along with the previous chaps 1, 2, 3, 4. :)
A small smile edged its way onto her lips, inch by inch, growing and growing into a huge grin as she took in the view before her. An inexplicable sense of surprise settled in her belly and blossomed into wonder. Nestled behind the bright towering neon letters displaying the word ‘diner’ was a rooftop garden.
Though the area wasn’t very spacious, pots and planters housing various flowers and herbs galore were lined up neatly in two rows starting from the metal gate and along the perimeter of the space. Spindly leafy appendages bobbed in time with the cool evening breeze. The earthy scent of dirt, picked up by the circulating air currents harmonized wonderfully with the sweet exotic aroma of plants. Creeper vines twisted their nimble bodies around the steel skeleton of the neon sign, inching all the way up the pillars, across the wooden beams of the pergola overhead. Intermingled with the leaves were fairy lights, posing as wannabe stars that twinkled faintly against the backdrop of the setting sun. In the middle of the garden sat a table, decked out for two.
Ambling slowly behind Dany with his hands tucked into his jeans pockets, Jon’s eyes tracked her every move as she navigated her way through the garden. He could barely contain his joy, so thrilled to see the wide-eyed look of fascination on her face. He thanked his lucky stars for having such a supportive family who were more than ecstatic when he told them he was bringing his crush on a date. His uncle immediately pushed for them to have it at this very diner. To be more original, Arya then suggested that they modify the venue a little. Instead of eating in the diner, crammed into a booth during dinner rush, having to shout to hear each other over the crowd, why not make it a little more romantic? They’d spend the past week preparing for this moment. From the menu, to the decorations and the flower bouquet he gifted to her. Gaping at the splendour around her, at the flora with hues of every shade of the rainbow, taking it all in, Dany was in awe. Along the little path between the plants she went, she also spotted several pots of daisies sitting in a corner. Jon must have picked each flower one by one to form the bouquet for her. All around her, every plant in the garden looked healthy and strong, making her wonder just how much labour and love was poured into tending to this magical little sanctuary, hidden away from the eyes of the people on the street. 
As she neared the clearing where the table was, a flash of colour at her periphery caught her eye. Huddled amongst the miscellaneous flora was an unusual rose bush. Stopping before it, she got onto her haunches to get a closer look. Never had she seen roses of that colour nor had she smelt a scent so sweet. The blossoms, just beginning to bloom wore a hue of the bluest, clearest sky on a sunny cloudless day. Under her thumb the unmarred azure petals were of the smoothest of velvet. “You’ve never been here before now have you?” Glancing up at her date for the night, who had came to a stop by her side, Dany stated dryly: “If I did, I would’ve been trespassing on private property.” Just then, the puppy in her arms that she had almost forgotten was there, started to wiggle, whining to be let down. “You want to go explore too little guy? Okay.” Dany placed Ghost onto the concrete ground. As soon as he landed, he darted forwards in a run before turning the corner and disappearing behind the back wall like he was accustomed with the place already. Strange. “You’re here! Finally!“ Following the voice, Dany was pleasantly surprised to find a petite young woman standing by a small door that looked to be a dumbwaiter sitting in the wall. “Welcome to Lone Wolf Diner where the pack serves fries, free with every main course you order!” The girl continued, reciting the well-versed motto of her family’s diner. With a gasp and a happy heart, quick steps brought her over to the girl. Pulling her in for a big hug, Dany squealed. “Arya! It’s so good to see you again. It’s been a while, hasn’t it?” “Hi! And yes it has been too long. We’ve missed hanging out with you so much.” Arya hugged her back, tightly. She liked Dany very much. Memories of nights staying up late with her siblings way pass their bed time, cuddled into Dany’s sides on the couch, gorging on snacks whilst a Disney movie played on the television were the catalysts for the fondness she held for her favourite babysitter. Plus, the woman, then teenager made really yummy treats. She’d always had a knack for it. Arya drew back from their hug, still clutching Dany’s hands in hers. Her large grey eyes were sparkling with hopeful glee. “Now that you’re dating Jon.... Maybe you’d be around more often.”
“Wait... you guys know each other?” 
“I should have told you earlier but we didn’t gotten the chance to. We’re family and Arya’s my cousin.” Moving over to the table, Jon pulled out a chair for Dany before turning to look at her expectantly with a touch of hesitance and sheepishness. He hoped she didn’t feel miffed about his identity. His family was her competition after all.
Wordlessly applauding Jon’s gallantry, Arya tugged a gawping Dany by the arm over to the table and shepherded her into her seat. “Thank you.” Dany muttered absently over her shoulder to Jon as he pushed her chair in like the gentleman he was. Once Jon was seated opposite her, Dany looked between him and Arya in complete bafflement. “Mister Stark’s your uncle? Mister Benjen has a child?” “Oh no, Jon is Auntie Lyanna’s son.” Arya commented. “Lyanna? I never knew Mister Stark had a sister.” “My mum left to explore the world when she turned twenty one with nothing but a suit case and a thirst for adventure. Long story short, she met my dad who was on vacation in Greece, fell in love and had me. She hasn’t been back here in ages because she says she has so much more to see of this world and she would only return when she’s done. They’re currently in New Zealand now.” “Auntie Lyanna is such a badass! Sometimes, we get to talk with her on the phone or even video call and she’s always in a different country every time! She’s my inspiration.” Arya gushed with complete admiration for her globe-trotting aunt. Looking to Jon, she added as forethought, “Your dad is a total badass too of course. Can’t forget him.” “Thanks.” Jon smiled, fiddling with the fork laid out for him on the table. His parents were definitely not the most conventional kind. The years of his childhood up till the age of fifteen, just before his grandparents enrolled him into the boarding school his father had attended as a child in England, were spent in foreign countries. The things he learnt about the people, the culture, all that knowledge that comes from traveling had shaped him into the man he was today. “That’s amazing. Your parents are such courageous people and you must have had such a fun childhood!” Dany couldn’t help feeling a tad bit envious. Traveling the world, visiting distant lands, soaking up all that the world had to offer? That would be the perfect life. An ambitious dream that she’d had since forever. “I hope to tick that off my bucket list one day. To leave my footprints all around the world and see everything.” “Oh.... Why don’t you guys go together? Start off with New Zealand to visit Auntie Lyanna, meet the parents and all that.” Voicing her suggestion, Arya waggled her dark brows at Dany while clapping a hand repeatedly on Jon’s shoulder. Teasing Jon alone was hardly this entertaining! The two adults before her were growing as red as the beetroots that her mother cultivated in summer. She could nearly feel the heat radiating off the two of them. I could even fry eggs on the apples of their cheeks, she thought. “All right, okay I’ll stop messing with you two now. You guys are just so adorable. Sheesh!” Arya scampered back to the dumbwaiter. “My main mission for coming up here was to inform you that your food would come straight up from the kitchen downstairs in this contraption.” Patting the shiny metal door she elaborated, “When you’re done with each course, just send the dishes back down with this button and the next course will be sent up for you.” Jon and Dany nodded at her instructions mutely, each looking down at their feet and fingers respectively, their faces aflame. Maybe just one more time wouldn’t hurt? Never one to miss a chance at letting her trickster side out, Arya didn’t even bother putting a stopper on her next ploy. “Before I go, you want to know something stinkingly cute, Dany?” “Hmm?” At the mention of her name, Dany’s head shot up to Arya from staring at her twiddling fingers lying on her lap. “This guy here?” Locking an arm around her cousin’s neck, Arya revealed to Dany something Jon probably would never for the life of him, want her to find out about. “He spent the whole morning looking at his reflection giving himself a stern pep talk on what to say, what to do and to not freak out when he goes to pick you up.” Arya was bouncing with excitement. She’d been waiting a whole week for this moment to do this. Some would say it was mean but she liked to think it was what family did, practical jokes, endless teasing and tasteful pranks of course. His embarrassment from before hadn’t even faded and now this? Jon’s jaw fell in mortification. Glancing at Dany out of the corner of his eye, the mirthful surprise dancing within her pretty purple eyes and the daintily arched brow had a further gush of heat rushing straight up to his head like the mercury line of a thermometer, forcing his face to heat up even more. Reaching around Arya, his arms flailed as he tried to stop her blabbing. He had to curb to spill of words from her mouth. His grumbles of ‘Shut up, Arya!’ did nothing to stop her, cackling ecstatically to herself, Arya’s slender fingers wound themselves tightly around Jon’s wrists. With a strong grip, developed from years of rough housing with her three brothers, she held Jon’s hands effortlessly away from her face. She was on a roll and she wasn’t going to let him stop her. “I could go on all day about how panicky he’d been since he came home from meeting you last week. This was the first time we’ve ever seen broody Jon this uncharacteristically... un-broody. Beaming like a loon while staring into space thinking about you. He couldn’t even go two sentences without mentioning your name!” “I don’t do that.... surely?” Jon uttered indignantly to himself, struggling to free his hands from Arya’s claws. “Oh yes. You sure do!” Noticing Dany’s hands clamped over her mouth and the tremor in her shoulders, filled Arya with a smug sense of accomplishment. “If you didn’t know before, this man is downright smitten with you!” The plaintive groans from the man behind her only spurred her on even more. “Naturally, we couldn’t let this chance pass him by! We all pitched in to set up this date for the both you!” The five siblings minus their eldest brother, Robb, who was busy with his job and a baby on the way, had spent the day hanging up the fairy lights, rearranging the pots and cleaning up the rooftop, making it presentable for their guest. Abruptly, she let go of Jon’s wrists causing him to fall back down into his seat, landing on his bum with an ‘oof!’.
Swapping out playfulness with sincerity, Arya took a step closer to where Dany sat. “He really, really likes you, Dany. We hope you feel the same for him too.” Taking the young girl’s hands in hers and squeezing them, Dany couldn’t deny that Arya’s revelation, knowing that he was just as anxious and happy about their date as her only made Jon all the more favourable in her eyes. Meeting the eyes of the blushing, endearing man across the table, she informed the two of them and herself out loud for the first time, “It just so happens, I like him a lot too.” There was a swooping in his tummy like a rollercoaster, free falling to the pull of gravity before shooting back up again. Jon grinned, his brown eyes squinting intensely from the push of his smile. They were trained on the dark wood of the table. Nowhere near the stunning woman he knew was watching him with her twinkling eyes. She likes him! “Aww you guys are so sweet!” Arya cheered. The man that was her favourite cousin, technically only cousin but it still counted, wore the dopiest grin she’d ever seen strung across his lips. Her favourite babysitter looked so demure, giving the man on the other side of the table bashful glances from beneath her lashes, accompanied by a red tinge on her face. Their happiness seemed to light them up from the inside out. Arya’s own smile softened into relieved one. It was evident that these two silly lovebirds were made for each other. Deciding it was time to stop bugging them, Arya coughed just loud enough to draw Jon and Dany’s mooneyes away from each other, she bid them farewell. “I’ll leave you guys alone now. Enjoy your dinner! I’ll see you around, Dany!” “It’s been great seeing you again!” Dany said, watching as the brunette girl tossed a quick wave in her direction before going around the wall that Ghost had disappeared behind. Leaning forward, she caught a glimpse of a glass sliding door slide shut, followed by the closing of a retractable folding door with wooden shutters. With Arya gone the rooftop became so quiet, save for the two people seated giggling at each other, suddenly shy again. Dany’s admission of her feelings for her date came rolling back, slamming into them both like a torrent of untameable waves. Idly tracing a line against the grain of the wooden table with his finger, Jon voiced that singular, blaring thought that had been whirling through his mind for the past few minutes: “So.... you... like me?” He looked like a young boy kicking at stones with his feet as he waited for his crush to push him away, waiting for her to decide that she didn’t want to play with him anymore because he wasn’t cool like the big kids.
Dany nodded resolutely. It was too late to turn back now, might as well take it all with her chin held high. “Yes.” She could hardly believe that she had said it right in front of his face without any hesitation at all! All this while she never told a soul save for Missandei. She hadn’t even dared to declare those feelings to herself yet! Where did that courage come from, she wondered. Heart hammering hard behind the curve of her ribs, Dany pondered at how miraculous the human body was. How was it that seeing Jon smile at her could have her feeling so peculiarly wonderful, all fuzzy and effervescent on the inside? “They say first impressions are everything. First dates even more so I think. I hadn’t come clean about my family to you before today and you had to hear all about my awkward self just now thanks to my pesky relative. You still like me?” Those wide chocolate orbs looking back at her were teeming with an open vulnerability that sent her heart lurching. He was so beautiful, how could she not adore him? “Oh, Jon. I’m very happy that you’re related to the Starks. They watched me grow up and your uncle has helped me so much with my business, I owe them a lot. Don’t be sorry for not telling me sooner. As you mentioned, we’ve haven’t had the time.” Threading her fingers with his, Dany marvelled at how perfectly their digits slid into place, hers within the gaps of his and his within hers. “And if you must know, I meant what I said. I like you and your awkward self very, very much.” “Well.... I’m immensely pleased to hear that.” Jon gave the slender fingers linked with his a light squeeze. Tenderly, his thumb began to move. “I just so happen to like you a lot too. You and your perfect self.” And he truly did. This was a long time coming confession since the moment his heart was struck down by the sight of her smile. Transfixed, Dany watched the path of Jon’s thumb as it outlined the curve between her index finger and thumb. His feather light touch stirred up a flurry of goose bumps all over her body and a need for something, something more. Subconsciously, she wriggled in her seat, crossing and uncrossing her legs.Expelling a tremor-laden chuckle, Dany professed, “Believe me when I say I’m not perfect. You haven’t see the side of me that’s not on a date with a handsome man yet.” “Oh. I hope you don’t mind if I stick around to find out then?” His voice adopted that hopeful lilt once more. She called him handsome. His stomach did a summersault. “I’d like that, yes. Very much actually.” She wondered if they would get to the point where they could be comfortably unglamorous around each other. The two of them lounged in front of the television, gorging on greasy pizzas or mornings where the first thing they saw of each other was messy bed head. She prayed they’d get there one day. Just then the mechanism within the little food elevator came on, producing a whirring noise, leading up to a cheery ‘ding’. The little button beside the door lit up too. Their dinner was served. 
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Reluctantly letting go of her hand, Jon went over to the dumbwaiter. Pushing the doors apart, two steaming bowls of par green soup were revealed, served on a wooden tray. A folded piece of cream-colored paper sat word side down like an erected tent in between the bowls. Lifting the tray from the metal box, Jon brought it over to their table. Careful not to spill any of the soup, he served a bowl to his eagerly awaiting date first and then himself. The tantalizing fragrance of something rich and earthy hit Dany’s nose as it wafted up into the air with the steam. “Oh... I can’t wait to try this. Looks and smells like asparagus or could it be peas? What does that note say?” Picking up the folded note, Jon’s eyes gave it a skim. “Hello young lovers...” Relishing in Dany’s tinkle of a giggle, lips twitching upwards in response, he continued, “To start off your evening, I have prepared a cream based soup that features the freshest of spring ingredients - asparagus, peas and fennel. Spring is a time for new beginnings and new relationships alike. I hope you’ll have a splendid date and may your budding romance flourish like a blossom coming to bloom under the nurturing hand of nature. Love, Ned, your chef and hopefully family in due time.” Family! Nibbling on her lower lip, a new wave of heat simmered under her skin at Ned’s pointedly written words directed at her. It was all too soon. Dare she hope to be a part of Jon’s family? Tucking an errant tendril of hair behind her ear, she begged her heart to stop pounding just enough for her to get through this dinner. Resting the paper on the table, Jon gulped, shoving the torrent of flustered nerves back into the depths of his belly. His uncle really was too much sometimes. He’d been so preoccupied with trying to make her notice him that the idea of having Dany in his life forever never even had the chance to cross his mind yet. Having her successfully look his way was a miracle in itself! One day in the future, perchance she’d have him entirely, for a long, long time. Only then, he’d consider himself, truly, the luckiest man on earth. “Umm... So... Shall we?”
“Yes. Let’s eat! Bon appétit.” 
Dunking her spoon it into her bowl, Dany swirled the dollop of cream around until it blended in with the milky, pale green, piping hot liquid goodness. The little cubes of toasted bread floated like isles in a sea of green.
Desperately needing something to calm the fluttering in her middle, she brought the spoon back up and towards her lips before taking a sip. The moan that flew out of her lips, still attached to the spoon would have made her blush if she wasn’t already ladling another spoonful of the wonderful warm soup into her mouth. It could easily be the best thing she’d ever tasted. The earthy sweet flavourful medley of asparagus, peas and fennel was strong upon her tongue, yet it left a light, refreshing aftertaste, making her want more. If tea was a hug in a mug, this soup was like consuming liquid sunshine. Before she knew it, she had reached the bottom of her bowl. Sitting across from her, Jon slurped up his soup just as speedily, just noticing how famished he was having not eaten much all day, too anxious to ingest anything but a few bites of toast that morning. Sitting back in his seat feeling satisfied, Jon smacked his lips, savouring any remnant taste of the soup in his mouth. Having eaten his food every day, he could really attest that his uncle truly was a very capable chef. Judging from Dany’s gleaming bowl, he could tell that she would thoroughly agree with him.
“Shall I send our dishes back done and move on to the main course?” “Yes please!” Already moving to place her empty bowl and used spoon back onto the tray that it came from, Dany replied, her enthusiasm palpable. Down the dishes went and up came more. This time, it was two serves of warm lasagna and a bottle of red to go with them. “Oh! I haven’t had this in ages!” The familiar fragrance of tomato, onions, garlic, minced beef and Italian herbs filled the air. “You know I used to come to the diner after school every day just to have Mister Stark’s lasagna?” “I think my uncle must have known that.” Lifting up the note that came with their food, Jon flipped it the right side up before taking in the scrawl of letters. “Ah! Yes. He said so right here.” This note was much shorter than the last, lacking in more teasing quips, thank the gods. “‘For your main course, a classic from this very diner and a favourite of a certain little lady with the purple eyes. The bottle of Merlot goes really well with the red sauce.’” The layers of pasta, meat sauce and cheese caved under the pressure of her fork like butter under the blade of a hot knife. Lifting the fork towards her mouth, pulling a string of gooey melted cheese along with it, Dany blew on the forkful hastily before popping it into her mouth. The taste was just as she remembered, transporting her instantly back to the days of her youth when she’d run over to the diner instead of going home for lunch. “My mum could never make it quite as good as his. Don’t ever tell her I said that. She’s great with numbers but she isn’t that much of a cook.” Pouring some wine into a wine glass for Dany and then tipping some into his own, Jon smiled a wistful smile. An image of the cutest little girl with silver curls and lavender eyes like a doll formed in his mind. What would it have been like to grow up with her? Would they have been good friends? Would they have found themselves in their current state much sooner? “What I wouldn’t give to meet little you. I bet you were just as wonderful as you are now.” “Mm.” Shaking her head with her mouth stuffed, Dany chewed quickly and swallowed. “Wonderful? I wouldn’t go that far. I’ll have you know that I was quite naughty as a child. Detention was my best friend in high school.” Taking a sip of his wine, Jon couldn’t help but disagree. “I find that hard to believe.” “It’s true! You see I had a bad boy jock boyfriend at the time. I used to get up to lots of silly, sometimes not so nice antics just to get myself into detention so I could be with him a little more.” A ruefully half smirk tugged at her lips from behind her wine glass. “When he dumped me after two years, a veil had lifted and I could finally see that in my strive to keep him with me the people around me got hurt.” Thumbtacks scattered upon a teacher’s chair, gum in their hair, all the notorious things that she never would have done if she were given another chance to relive her childhood. Her parents were so disappointed in her. “I did get over him eventually and the pain didn’t last for long. After that, I knew I had to change. So, I apologized to everyone I hurt and I worked hard in school. I got into college and all the rest was history. Time heals even the deepest of wounds I suppose.” ”I need to put it out there. That jackass was an idiot for leaving you.” How could anyone do that to someone like her? He would never, ever have left her. “And for what it’s worth, you were just a child then. I think we’ve all done things we aren’t too proud of as kids. Whether it was to fit in or earn the affection of someone we liked.” Giving Jon’s arm a gentle squeeze, Dany gave him a grateful smile, passing along a silent ‘thank you’. He understood her.  The chance of finding someone who you could relate to was so slim. Someone like him was rare in the world. For that, she counted herself extremely blessed.
“What I am most intrigued about now is… What, may I ask, did you do as a boy that was so shameful?“ “All I’m going to say is that it involved drunkenness, a bottle of the headmaster’s whiskey and a dare.” Dany’s eyebrow rose up high. She could venture a guess as to the outcome from all the clues he dropped and it sounded like an entertaining tale. “What happened?” “Not telling.” Batting her eyelashes coquettishly, putting on her best puppy dog eyes, Dany pleaded with him. “Tell me... please...?” This woman would be the death of him. He was sure of it. How was he to deny her anything when she looked like that? Groaning under effect of those large doe like eyes of hers, his resolve crumbled like a house of cards.“Fine. I will tell you on one condition that this stays between us and only us. No one else can know about this.” Index finger drawing a cross over her heart, Dany gave him a solemn nod in promise. “I won’t tell anyone.” Resting her forearms on the table, interlocking her fingers on the table, Dany leant forward, ready to listen to whatever sordid tale Jon had to tell. Taking a gulp of his wine, shifting to mimic Dany’s posture, Jon commenced his tale. He regaled her of a drunken night of partying, which lead to a classic game of truth or dare. Bolstered by the copious amounts of beer and spiked punch, young Jon chose to participate in a dare which required him to steal the bottle of Jameson stored in the bottom left drawer of his headmaster’s desk. Simple enough, right? How naïve he was. Just sneak in quick, pick the lock and get out. Unfortunately for him, there was a catch. He had to run from the dorms to the other side of the campus.
Naked as the day he was born. “No.... You didn’t!” “You can bet all the money in the world that I did.” There he went in the dark of night, butt naked, streaking across the campus grounds. His gaggle of drunken friends followed behind him, giggling like schoolgirls. Up the stairs they went, stopping just outside their destination. To their utmost joy, the office door was unlocked! In Jon crept, his friends waiting outside the corridor for him to emerge victorious. “There I stood without a stitch on me, clumsily fumbling with the handle of the drawer, trying so hard to pull it open. Until, it came to me that I didn’t know how to pick a lock. To make matters worse, the headmaster chose that very moment to traipse back into his office.” “Oh dear...” Dany cringed. She had an inkling of what was coming. His fellow dorm mates and friends had bailed on him once they caught sight of Mr Montgomery’s shiny baldhead. In the end, their pajama-clad headmaster caught a very exposed, totally hammered, teenage Jon standing by his desk trying to break into his finest whiskey. Shrugging as nonchalantly as he could Jon casually picked up his wine glass and swirled the maroon liquid around. “I spent two weeks on kitchen duty after and none of the boys would let me forget that night. I was pretty much a legend.” “A shameless one at that!” A bark of laughter erupted from Dany’s mouth. She was so glad that she wasn’t drinking her wine. Otherwise, it would have gone up her nose and projected everywhere. “I’m glad my plight amuses you.” Jon said appreciating how charming Dany looked succumbed to the call of full belly chortles. Her laughter filled him with veneration and pride knowing that he brought it to light. Everyone knows a good meal cannot end without dessert. For such a special occasion, Ned had created something new for them - a s’more pie. Sitting on two plates were two generously large slices. A base of crushed Graham crackers, a filling of decedent dark chocolate mousse topped with pieces of toasted marshmallows. Just as the last two courses, this final one was enjoyed and disappeared in the blink of an eye betwixt a volley of banter and a chorus of laughter. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
“Dad! Leave the two of them alone.” Sansa laughed. Her father had his hands cupped around his eyes straining to peek through the wooden shutters at the two little lovebirds dining outside. Looking over the railing from his position a top the spiral staircase leading to the roof, Ned asked his brood: “Aren’t you curious about how things are going? My only baby sister’s son is on a date! The last time he was here he was just a wee boy of four! I was never there to see him grow up and I’ve definitely never had the chance to see him bring a girl home before.” His arms waving about animatedly and his eyes exaggeratedly wide as he sprinted back up the steps.“Oh.... I need to document every second of this fine moment for your aunt. Do they like my food?” Arya and Rickon were practically rolling on the carpet laughing at their dramatic daddy. Rolling her eyes, Sansa shook her head once more before turning back to her laptop. Rickon gave his brother, Bran’s leg a shake only to get a grunt in return. Frowning at his brother’s engrossment in his book. The fool is missing out with his nose always stuck in a book! Looking up at his father’s back, he pointed out a very obvious problem. “You’re not doing it right, daddy! The wood is blocking your eyes! You need to open the window to see.” Ned pried away one of the loose pieces of wood from the shutters with a triumphant ‘hah!’. Pressing his ear to the strip of glass revealed all he heard was muffled laughter and conversation. With his eyes cupped to erase any trace of a reflection, he could see their silhouettes in the dark pretty well thanks to the fairy lights they’d strung up. Jon and Dany seemed to be having a good time, animatedly chatting over their dessert with smiles plastered on their faces. Replacing the wooden plank in its rightful place, Ned knew Lyanna would be happy to know that her quiet son had found himself a nice girl. “Or... we could sneak a camera out there to watch them! That way you could document their interactions properly too. Why didn’t I think of this sooner! From the way they were mooning all over each other even with me standing right there, this has got to be good!” Bolting up from her sprawled position within her nest of pillows on the floor that she was sharing with Rickon, Arya’s eyes glowed with excitement. Her new prototype could finally be taken out for a trial run! “I’ll go and get it for you. I have just the thing!” “Hold on a minute, kiddo.” Ned caught his pesky daughter around her shoulders and reeled her in to him. Peering up at her father, she asked in her most innocent voice: “When did you come back down from there, daddy? You’re very quick.” Ruffling her head of raven curls that matched his own minus the odd strands of grey, Ned’s heart swelled with love. They said a parent should never have a favourite child, but he couldn’t help it. Even though he loved all his children, all five of them very much, Arya was his baby girl. “I think filming them might be a bit too intrusive. Your sister is right. Let’s give them their space to be better acquainted.” “Aww man! My miniature camera goes untested once again!” Hugging her father around his waist, she nuzzled her face into his chest and whined. Patting her hair, Ned smiled. No matter how big she got, she was still his headstrong, spirited, incredibly bright baby girl. Now, he had to make an international call to New Zealand. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- With sated bellies, minds a buzz from the wine, the two budding lovers meandered along the vacant streets, hands finding each other’s in the dark. Reaching the street that would take them to Dany’s home, she huddled closer into Jon’s side, not out of fear for what loitered in the night but for the reassurance that he was truly real and to prove that the lovely evening they’d spent together truly did happen. Each step they took, dawdled a little more the closer they got to their destination. Taking pauses every few seconds to just bask in each other’s presence for a little while longer. Neither of them wanted the night to end that soon. “I’ve loved every second of this evening, Jon. Please give my compliments to the chef and I think he’d be happy to know that I may have gotten some inspiration from this wonderful meal for my next range of ice cream flavours.” “What do you have in mind?” 
Trying hard not to stumble in the dark as they made their way up the steps to her little ice cream haven, Jon couldn’t stop his eyes from drifting back to Dany. Watching every move she made, gracefully moving between the shadows of the night. The beams of moonlight painted her in an ethereal glow. Like an elven nymph dancing before him, leading him along by the hand to wherever her heart desired to go. The small hand tightly tucked within his, the warmth of her palm pressed against his was a homing beacon for all his senses to congregate to. He felt light and tingly all over. Boy, was he far gone. Not letting go of his hand, Dany stepped up onto her porch and spun around to face him. Jon now stood a step below her, gazing up at her with his deep chocolate eyes that shone with unwavering adoration under the silver light of the moon.
An adoration for her.
It was hard to fathom this happening so quickly considering they’d only just met only recently. Who was she to deny the affections of someone so genuinely sweet? Someone who was captivated by her, not just for her looks but she was inclined to believe that it was for all of her, inside and out. If Jon wanted to discover it all, discover every single thing about her? She would personally hold the door open and invite him in.  “Mmm.... I’m afraid you’ll have to swing by tomorrow and find out for yourself.” 
Any excuse, any chance to see this darling man again, she would come up with and take them all. After all, he wasn’t the only one who was paddling in the deep end of affection. He wanted to be with her and she too wanted him close, so very much. She hadn’t smiled or laughed like she had with a member of the opposite sex in so long. Every moment spent with Jon brought her to life. She wanted to learn all that she could about this man who was so quickly becoming a fixture that she wanted to create a permanent home for in her world. “Are you asking me out on a date, my lady?” “You gave me such a marvellous one tonight. Turn about is only fair. What do you say to hanging out in my kitchen and do some experiments on ice cream with me?” “I say.... experimentation with food may not be as great as a three course meal but I suppose it’d be nice.” He couldn’t help it. He had to know how this perfect woman would react should he push her buttons a little. “Hey! Are you underestimating my abilities to provide a good time? At least give a girl a chance! Ice cream making is an art that requires precision and wit, which I assume you’ve never experienced before. Here I thought it would be something fun for us to do together.” Releasing a harrumph, Dany swatted him lightly on the arm with her free hand before making a move to shake off his hand that was still clasped around hers. Chuckling, Jon tightened his hold on her hand and drew his very cute pouty-lipped date towards him. A sharp gasp escaped from her as her body collided with his. Perhaps it was the alcohol giving him a boost in confidence, his arm shot out to snake around Dany’s waist. Whether it was to keep her from falling or to usher her in closer to him, Jon really couldn’t say. The urge to have her as close to him as humanly possible was all too compelling. 
“I was merely playing with you.” The instant their bodies aligned, the air around them crackled with a certain tension that had both their hearts leaping into their mouths. “You’re coming tomorrow? This date might not to be a very romantic one nor does it go according to the list of cliché activities of what couples usually go for.” Her hands grabbed at Jon’s shoulders in seek of some semblance of balance while her heart went haywire, beating out of tempo like an un-tuned metronome. Their sudden closeness threw her, bringing forth dizziness. Jon’s broad chest rose and fell against hers, each inhale and exhale of his, pressed him to her even more. A callused thumb coasting down the curve of her cheek had a tremor zinging through her body. It felt so good that her knees could have buckled under her. A tiny whimper lodged its way up her throat.  Their lips parted without much coaxing. Just an inch closer and they would touch. Curiosity lanced with desire coiled deep within their beings. Did they dare to venture a taste? Was it all too soon to cross that boundary, to take a step in the direction of physical intimacy? Could they throw everything to the wind and give in to that temptation? “My answer to your request is, yes, I would love nothing more than to come over.” Under the spell of that irresistible magnetic pull between them, Jon inched even closer to his ladylove. No one knew what supplied him with the courage to do what he did next, but nonetheless, he brushed the tip of his nose alongside hers before running it up and down along the length of her nose, keeping his touch to a graze. “As long as we’re together, anything would be fine. What we do wouldn’t matter if I got to spend time with you. I’m sure we could find a way to amp up the romance somehow anyway.” His ticklish caresses and those affectionate, heartfelt words articulated in that husky voice of his had jolts of electricity bolting straight towards the point between her legs, at the apex where her thighs met. Dany’s toes curled within her sneakers. Oh god, what was happening to her? “I’ll be here tomorrow. How about around the time your shop closes?” Jon whispered. There was no need to speak much louder than that with her so near. So near, he could count the freckles fanning out across her cheeks.
Their lips were now a mere hair’s breadth apart. So close, that each exhalation from their lungs mingled between them. Dany’s eyes grew enthralled by the movement of Jon’s lips and his pink tongue that darted out to moisten his lips.
Just a little closer.
Embroiled in the magic of the moment, her words eluded her. All she could manage was a nod and a hum of acquiescence. That mouth of his was so pretty, unfairly pretty for a man. She had a sudden craving to know how they felt moving against hers. Would those enticing lips be smooth or would they be rough? Whether his tongue would set her body on fire, trailing down her neck or up the inside of her thighs to kiss her there? What was this man kindling in her?
Looking back on that very night, neither of them could pin point with confidence which one out of the two of them made the first move. Dany would deny vehemently that it was her and Jon would do the same when she brought it up. Back in the present, the miniscule gap keeping them apart vanished in an ever so gentle collision of lips, like the timid flutter of a butterfly’s wings. The tentative press of their closed lips lingered and their hearts lurched to a halt. Sucking in a sharp breath through their noses, their beating organs came to, riding upon the backs of a horde of stampeding rhinoceroses that rattled them both to the core. Just a sweet, delicate touch was enough to send their senses into a tizzy, lighting up every nerve ending in their bodies like the insides of a pinball machine.
Kissing each other was everything they had expected and so much more. For Jon, Dany’s lips under his were like the insides of a rosebud, soft and sweet, bringing forth a sense of possessiveness from his core. For Dany, Jon’s plaint lips were a little dry and yet still very pleasant. Combined with the steady enclosure of his arms around her holding her upright and his lips moving in what she could only describe as lovingly upon hers made her shiver. It was a shame that their physiological demand for air forced them to drag their lips unwittingly away from their lip lock. A euphoric sort of bubble held them both hostage and neither of them was eager to depart from it. So, they stood together just breathing as one, taking in some much needed air. Meeting each other’s eyes, they saw disbelief, stunned surprise and something else swimming in there. Their gazes held for moments as they watched the desire within each other’s pupils flare up and expand, pushing their irises outwards until there was just a small ring left.
He (She) had to have more, no, needed more.
They plunged headfirst, back in for more. This time, their parted lips fused seamlessly, both of them hungry for the sweetness they knew would be found within. Hesitantly still, yet fuelled by a newfound passion, their tongues met in a timid flick, kicking up a languid rhythm, relishing in the taste of the person in their arms. Their dance soon became frenzied and moans floated unbridled to the sky with each tilt of their heads. Without conscious thought, their hands began to wander, searching for an anchor at whatever they could reach. Jon’s fingers fisted at the silky locks that hung loose down Dany’s back while hers burrowed their way into the curls at the nape of his neck. Their daydreams and fantasies paled in comparison to how delicious reality was. Each slant of their mouths, each touch of their lips, stroke of their tongues brought about a hint of wine and an intoxicating flavour that was uniquely their own.
And as they broke apart, heads spinning and hearts reverberating like jackhammers within their chest cavities, Jon tipped his forehead to Dany’s. Letting out a quiet laugh under his breath, his mind fought to catch up with the rest of his body. “For a first kiss, that was...” “Fantastic? Brilliant? Magnificent?” Fingers flexing around the silky midnight curls still grasped in her hand, Dany laughed too. Her starving lungs just refused to hold air. 
Arms dropping to frame her waist, he tucked the woman he was head over heels, so very madly enamoured with securely to him. “Hands down, all of the above.” 
The night could not have been more perfect.
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baronvontribble · 6 years
Text
Original drabble, pt. 7
Navigation: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7
looool
Faking a cough and telling his boss that he needed a few days off was easy. Writing an email to the his contact down the pipeline and telling them that he'd need a few weeks was much, much harder. The wording had to be just right; they didn't really have specific codephrases or anything, but they never said anything outright either. He went through several drafts before finally settling on one that he was satisfied with.
em-
gonna have 2 postpone that lunch date downtown this weekend. got a helluva leak & the landlord wont do shit so im gonna have to fix it myself. will hit u up when i have the time again
-marshmallow
ps: ill pay for ur train tickets dont worry
He leaned back in his chair and stared at it, letting out a nervous breath. "That'll work, right?"
"It looks appropriately misleading to me," Adam said.
"Emily's a smart kid, I've worked with her before. She should be able to pick up on it." Ted folded his arms and continued to stare at the message. "And hopefully it'll just look like I'm postponing a date with an out-of-town girlfriend to anyone else."
"I noticed it's a different email than the one tied to your phone."
"Always has been. I've got what, five different emails now?" He shifted in his seat, joints creaking from spending too long in his computer chair. He hadn't really moved too much since that morning, and it was well past noon by then. He'd been making sure he could deliver on what he'd promised. "The phone's the weakest link. Thing is, the messenger's the only thing installed on it, and no one in the pipeline uses that particular app for messaging since it's dated as shit. Mom uses it, but that's about it, and I doubt she's gonna rat me out even if she finds out what I do."
"How can you be sure of that?"
Ted smirked. "She works at a hospital that's run almost entirely by robots. Divorced my dad over it being a good idea to do shit like that to begin with. I'm pretty sure I know what side of the fence she's on with the whole AI thing."
"I see." That was all he had to say on that, apparently. After that little freak-out earlier, Adam didn't seem to be in all that wordy of a mood. But then, he was busy trying to tag still images with what he saw in them in another tab, so Ted wasn't about to hold it against him.
Well, it wasn't like Ted lacked for conversation topics. "How's it going so far? The tagging, I mean."
"Badly." A few seconds later he broke his non-chatty streak to elaborate, "I'm going by colors for now. I opened up a second page that helps me match hexadecimal codes to both specific and generic color names, but that's usually as far as I get. It doesn't help that lighting seems to have an effect on what appearance a given base color might take."
And the dumbass was probably sampling those colors pixel by pixel, too. Using brute processing force was one way to master the process, Ted supposed.
"Don't feel bad if it takes a while. You'll get the hang of it."
"You sound way too amused by this."
"Who, me? Never. I'm the very essence of stoicism."
Adam had a smile in his voice when he spoke again. "Liar."
"Yeah, alright. You caught me." Ted stretched out in his chair and stifled a yawn, joints popping as they flexed beyond where they probably should. "I'm just happy you're figuring it out. I mean, even just realizing that you can cross-reference is a step in the right direction."
"It would be easier if I knew what I was looking at."
"Want me to help?" Partway through the process of typing his email, Ted had realized that the help he could offer might not be so well-received. He didn't want to make things harder than they already were; he had to be tactful, wait for permission. He couldn't just insert himself into proceedings like he so often did. This was a delicate situation. He knew that now.
Or he could be overthinking it. Adam couldn't quite sigh, but he could portray some semblance of relief in his voice. "I'd appreciate it," he said; a moment later, the laptop had been tabbed in to the correct window so Ted could participate. "Try to restrain yourself from giving bad answers to fuck with me. This data has to be accurate."
"I know, I know." Ted did know. Really. "But gimme a minute, okay? I'm gonna plug in my mouse so I can use it to point things out to you."
"Right."
And so it began.
The images were little more than stock photos, and the 'game' was to tag as many details as possible. Matching up with what other people had tagged it with meant a better score. Ted was observant to a fault, so his results with such things in the past had been mixed at best as he sometimes noticed things that no one ever bothered to tag. This made it all the more viable as a learning tool, because not only was Adam learning what other people tagged the image with and why - seeing what an average person might be able to glean from it - but he was also having the tiny details pointed out to him by someone who was way too anxious to not notice basically everything.
Since the goal was not just to get Adam to be able to notice details, but to also have him act convincingly human while doing so, this gave him a reasonable benchmark for what he could mention he'd noticed to an average person without looking like he had a weirdly photographic memory with the perfect ability to recall anything and everything. To Ted, this was step one. The average person sees a duck in a pond - maybe even identifying the duck as a mallard - while the hyper-observant person sees that it's overcast and around midday from the sky's reflection in the pond's surface or that there's a gum wrapper and a bit of soggy bread clearly visible in the murky water near the detritus-littered shore.
It was the photos of people that were really a nightmare for Adam. For all his ability to pick up on all the tiny nonverbal cues present in an audio recording, he couldn't so much as even guess at gender presentation of random people in stock photos, let alone their expressions or body language. Ted had to walk him through every last detail, and these were the prettiest, most unambiguous sorts of human beings to boot. The photos were dominated by tall, broad men with either lantern jaws or facial hair, and soft, curvy women with round faces and perfect contouring; women had long hair, men had short hair, and children were dressed as either very male or very female to match the adults. Ted found them obnoxious.
And that wasn't even getting into indicators of disability or profession or anything. Just once, he'd like to see more average people pop up in these things. He was downright relieved to get back to pictures of sheep and grass and flowers and buildings and boats whenever he got done with tagging a person. Not-people didn't bother him nearly as much.
Either way, somewhere along the line he lost track of time completely.
"You should eat something," Adam said out of the blue at one point. Ted straightened up in his chair and shot a glance at the clock in the corner of the laptop's screen, only to frown at it like it'd betrayed him.
It was almost three in the afternoon already? Christ. "Probably," he admitted, stretching out with a slight wince. "Feel like you're making progress yet?“
"I don't know. How do you 'feel' progress? It seems like something that should have a clearer definition than to just feel it." 
"Hey man, don't knock feelings. They've got definitions, those definitions are just subjective as fuck." Ted was smiling as he said it, mirroring what he'd heard in Adam's own voice. Both of them were joking. Adam knew full well what Ted had meant, he was just taking a jab at the presentation. "Do you think you've made progress so far?"
"Yes." Adam sounded terribly smug, as if to say see? That was all you had to say. "It's slow, but once I know what I'm looking at, it makes things easier."
Ted shoved off from the desk and stood, taking another moment to stretch. "Cool. Then I'm gonna make some pizza rolls."
Off he went. "Those are bad for you," Adam said as he wandered off. "Humans need nutrients. Pizza rolls are not nutritious."
"Don't care," Ted replied. Along with the pizza rolls, he made sure to retrieve a soda out of the fridge as well just to be contrary. It was hard to care about minor health hazards when he so often had major ones to worry about, and people telling him that he probably should care only made him less likely to do so. "It's calories. It'll work as a stand-in for lunch until I get to dinner."
"I don't think that's how nutrition works." Several seconds passed as Ted wrestled with the packaging, got a plate, and put everything in the microwave.
"Ted. I looked it up. This isn't food, Ted. It has about the same value as eating cardboard."
"Ayep." Ted cracked open the soda and took a swig as he turned on the microwave and let it spin.
"Do you do this often?"
Ted snorted. "Uh, do you really want me to answer that question?"
"According to this site, when the potential long-term effects of such a poor diet are combined with your outward symptoms - such as being the wrong color for a human - it's a strong indicator that your kidneys are probably failing." Adam spoke as if he felt he was the absolute voice of authority on this, and Ted shook with silent laughter as he leaned against the counter. "I think you should get bloodwork done."
"Dude." Good God, what kind of website had Adam even managed to find? Ted felt like he was talking to his grandparents after they'd spent three hours on an online medical journal and decided he looked like he had some obscure genetic disorder that would give him pulmonary fibrosis (whch he didn't). "That 'being the wrong color' thing? It's genetic. I have practically no pigmentation. It's not gout or scurvy or whatever the hell you've found on the internet, just albinism and shitty lighting."
Silence reigned for at least ten full seconds. "I see."
"I take vitamins, alright? And I know my diet isn't all that great, but it's not like pizza rolls are all I eat." He was about to say something about how Adam had seen him eat other things, but then he remembered that Adam couldn't actually see all that well. "Besides, if there was something in my bloodwork, my doctor woulda told me last time I had a checkup. See, unlike some humans, I get those pretty regularly."
"Right." Then, "I'm sorry."
"What for, man? I'm not mad. Hell, at least you care." He'd take a little overworrying anyday if it meant someone was at least trying to understand his problems. It was kinda cute. Big tough super high-tech AI worrying about a squishy human. "And y'know, if you wanna know what's actually wrong with me, all you gotta do is ask."
The microwave beeped, and Adam considered. "You'd tell me that?"
"I tell people all the time."
"No, that's not-" He cut himself off mid-rendering, and Ted raised an eyebrow over in the direction of the living room while pulling the pizza rolls out of the microwave. "Isn't that like telling me how your code is written?"
Huh. Ted had never thought of it that way. "Not really. It's more like, uh... I guess I figure that telling you what versions of what software is running isn't exactly going to give you access to any of the passwords protecting my data, but it will tell you how to work with what I've got going on." Was that an accurate analogy? This barrier to understanding really did go both ways.
The fans weren't quite roaring, but they were definitely humming away audibly in the background; it was always so easy to tell when Adam was mulling something over. "Yes, I would like to know. If that's all right."
"Fine by me." With a plate in one hand and a drink in the other, Ted came back to the not-a-desk and plopped right back down in his chair. "For starters, look up Ehlers-Danlos syndrome."
A minute later Adam asked him how the hell he was alive, and he almost breathed a mouthful of pizza roll.
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halohealthcoach8 · 4 years
Text
What Professional Snowboarders Are Saying About COVID-19
NOT MEDICAL PROFESSIONALS! You suppose we now have these connections? No. We’re alongside for the journey just like you all. Look at your native data or the CDC’s site for data regarding the pandemic. We merely despatched out some texts from our quarantine to see how the riders and filmers have been feeling regarding the worldwide emergency. Filming, journey, and resorts have all been intently affected.
For lots of, the season (and livelihoods for lots of seasonal positions) obtained right here to an abrupt finish. It’s a strong hit that may delay correctly earlier snowboarding’s custom for some time. Nevertheless it absolutely was good to see amongst all of the responses that most people properly being is the first priority at this degree.
We at SNOWBOARDER desire a protected and healthful time in lockdown for everyone. Wash your arms, wax your board, and take some time to know these in quarantine with you (till you’re caught with SNOWBOARDER’s Editor Stan, rumor has it that he has trapped of us inside his residence with him and has been forcing them to take heed to all of his failed stand up jokes for the earlier four days).
Zak Hale:
Pretty crazy to suppose we’re mid-March correct now and everybody appears to be nearly chilling… that’s often a time that every snowboarder is hustling to get these previous couple of bangers of their half. The competitors scene has only a few further events and everybody appears to be starting to get pleasure from spring utilizing. It’s often known as miracle March for a trigger. This 12 months our season is decrease fast by about two months… the lifts are closed. Everyone have to be at dwelling with their relations.
This entire epidemic goes to impact the world in quite a lot of strategies along with the snowboard commerce. I consider it’s a time the place all of us need to return collectively and do what we’ll to take care of this issue all of us love healthful and highly effective. It’s a scary time nevertheless we’ll all get by way of this as long as we stick collectively as one. Love you all.
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Couldn’t have requested for a larger first experience in AK! Thanks @alaskaheliskiing and @klondike.ike for retaining us in good arms! Bummed the season obtained right here to such a screaming halt, nevertheless hope everybody stays healthful and guarded in the marketplace!
A publish shared by Gabe Ferguson (@phatgabe_) on Mar 18, 2020 at 1:03pm PDT
Gabe Ferguson:
Large, super whack! Clearly, I’d pretty spend my time boarding and filming nevertheless that’s behind my ideas correct now. I’m further anxious regarding the properly being of my household and buddies at this degree. What even is snowboarding you most likely don’t have any buddies to get pleasure from it with?
Max Warbington:
All through quarantine I’m going to be engaged on a bunch of stuff. I’m going weed free ‘til we’re all free from lockdown. Shitty, I do know, nevertheless can’t be coughing for any trigger right this moment haha.
I’m moreover trying eat correctly, drink tons of water, do as rather a lot stretching and understanding as doable, get once more into finding out, plenty of residence duties, art work duties and Tre Squad modifying. It’s extraordinarily important to know these you’re with whereas in quarantine and make precise efforts to put down your telephones, not merely watch TV/movement photos and shit… nevertheless actually profit from the agency you’re with whether or not or not or not it’s human or animal!
And most of all I’ll most likely be doing a little bit good reflection on my priorities and life-style. How will points seek for snowboarders going forward? I doubt if points will ever go absolutely once more to “common” after this. We gotta be able to adapt to irrespective of happens and actually life altering stuff goes to take care of occurring an growing variety of ceaselessly if we maintain poisoning the Earth.
For individuals who keep someplace the place it snows or can drive to snow, thank your lucky stars because of even after we now need to quarantine for a extraordinarily very very long time, you presumably can nonetheless go shred and in case you’re motivated you presumably can stack straight bangers on a patch of snow. Snowboarding spreads stoke and stoke kills viruses, I wanna maintain shredding and filming this season merely with out using airports, ski resorts, or large gatherings. Change is sweet, the whole thing will work itself out nevertheless we’ve to take this critically and take a look at our very hardest to not let this flip right into a every day issue. My thanks, concepts and love to every healthcare worker, the entire scientists engaged on COVID-19, anyone who has been affected or had family affected by the virus, & the entire of us in the marketplace making the world a larger place nonetheless they’ll no matter these darkish cases. There are so many super heroes on this planet and that makes me actually really feel really good regarding the future.
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Daily reminder to stretch one out all through quarantine
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@jerm_worldwide
A publish shared by Sage Kotsenburg (@sagekotsenburg) on Mar 18, 2020 at 2:54pm PDT
Laura Hadar:
This is usually a good time to try splitboarding! You most likely don’t have any avalanche knowledge preserve in your closed resort and stick with slopes beneath 30 ranges after snow storms. Defend your properly being and the properly being of your group by not meeting in large groups. We’ve narrowed down our hangout group to our roommates and one completely different good pal, who we had beforehand been in shut contact with.
I urge the snowboarders in our group to take this critically. We have now been skinning up the resort the alternative day and seen a gaggle of 10 riders hanging very shut collectively, consuming and smoking. The implications of this might presumably be huge. Our dad and mother and grandparents can die from this and also you’re one shared joint away from giving it to them.
For individuals who smoke weed, don’t share joints roll personals.
Benny Milam:
Corona kind of fucked up the highest of my season aha. I was planning on going to Salt Lake correct after the Slide in Tour to lap Woodward and Brighton because of I didn’t make it in the marketplace the least bit this 12 months and now all over the place is closed 2 months early. It’s a slap inside the face nevertheless I suggest what can you do… I in truth can’t think about this shit is occurring. After I heard that they’ve been selecting and choosing what victims to cope with in Italy that’s when it hit me how extreme this shit really is. Sending concepts and prayers to all these households affected by this shitshow.
Nik Baden:
I’m lockin down. I don’t know rather a lot about this whole state of affairs nevertheless it really seems most interesting to place low. I personally suppose going spherical and persevering with life with none changes is selfish and lame. I like chilling nevertheless not like this haha, no one thinks that’s pleasant nevertheless we now need to be dwelling to not unfold this virus. Appears just like the one reply to me. That’s solely the beginning and there’ll most likely be lasting impacts that this leaves on worldwide places, firms, and different individuals. This doesn’t seem like one factor to take flippantly.
Harry Hagan:
I suggest our season obtained right here to a screeching halt. Not that there was anyplace good to go, nevertheless we really threw inside the towel until this all dies down. Filming a snowboard movie isn’t worth spreading a viral sickness. We’re small time in a state of affairs like this. Gotta play your half.
Zeb Powell:
It’s like my life as a snowboard has randomly hit a wall. And now I’m tryna work out the best method to get out spherical it.
Maddie Mastro:
It’s modified quite a lot of my plans, whether or not or not it was teaching camps, pow journeys, or just spring utilizing all these points aren’t occurring as of now. Nevertheless on the same time, it’s superior to see all these mountains stepping up and doing what’s true, retaining everyone protected.
Tips on the way to not go crazy: – you most likely have a canine or pet, go pet it. – do some yoga – title your mom – take up napping – do a puzzle – binge watch The Office
Reid Smith:
Nightmare turned actuality having to hold round with my concepts all day in quarantine. Each little factor obtained cancelled, canine! Good excuse for lack of footy tho
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Preserve protected everyone!
Purple Gerard:
Yeah, after I first heard of COVID-19, I was in Japan filming for the model new Burton movie and we’ve been a little bit of spooked… nevertheless we’ve been there for like 7 days, then obtained right here once more to the States and chilled for a bit. I didn’t really start to consider it as one thing precise until the journey bans started to happen and further of us started to get it. Nevertheless yeah, I’m actually in the meanwhile driving from Whistler to Tahoe the place I keep now. Pretty constructive the borders closed shortly after we went by way of. Going to go dwelling with the similar crew I’ve been with for the previous couple of weeks and hunker down with them. Nonetheless going to aim to film a bit, nevertheless only a few stuff on our private to keep away from completely different of us. The crew has been doing our best to be accountable and keep away from large gathering and really merely staying on our private. Putting properly being and knocking out this virus sooner than snowboarding is actually a priority.
Blake Paul:
I wakened at three a.m. in France with telephones blowing up and the knowledge of potential borders closing… we went straight to the airport and booked new flights once more. Since arriving dwelling, on daily basis is full of worse data, new pointers, and feelings of uncertainty. Appears just like the season is on preserve. I’m undoubtedly caught questioning what’s okay to do or not. I consider it’s important to take the state of affairs critically and do your half to help stop the curve/unfold even when it means taking sacrifices in snowboarding/life.
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Very glad and grateful to be posted at dwelling with my two favorite creatures
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True downtime is so freakin unusual right this moment and as rather a lot as I need the circumstances have been fully completely different I’m not mad on the pressured chill time
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in the long run, its gonna be so good for the earth to get a quick break from human abuse and for us as a species to reset our values and keep in mind how beneficial life on earth is
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Preserve calm, breath deeply, title your loved ones members, examine some stuff, take the quarantine critically, preserve healthful, ship constructive vibes to the entire healthcare staff and scientists on the doorway strains of the wrestle & have empathy for people who’re struggling throughout the globe. We’re in a position to beat this shit collectively
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#covid_19
A publish shared by Max Warbington (@69max420) on Mar 18, 2020 at 2:28pm PDT
Carlos Garcia Knight:
Yeah, I believed I was gonna be in Whistler after which fly to Europe two weeks previously. After I obtained to Whis, we’ve been joking spherical about how blown out coronavirus was… two days later I wanted to e-book my flight dwelling because of AirNZ is canceling 85% of their flights and the NZ Authorities is warning kiwis to return dwelling immediately. I actually really feel like we rise up on daily basis and it’s getting an growing variety of hectic. (Typing this as we sit in an Uber to Vancouver airport to fly dwelling for who’s conscious of how prolonged). Preserve sanitized in the marketplace and I hope this will likely all blow over rapidly ample.
Melissa Riitano:
It’s been a little bit of crazier than I was anticipating. Fairly lower than per week previously I had been planning to go to Quebec with O’Neill to film further for the movie they’re doing. O’Neill as a whole made a troublesome willpower to halt journey for the riders and staff. Shortly after all of the resorts in Utah started shutting down. I in truth am having a troublesome time to know what to actually really feel, I decided to watch the recommendation to self-quarantine. Talking time for the next week or so to do some duties at dwelling, cook dinner dinner, sit back, then start to get into the mountains and hike spherical. I actually really feel like as compared with most people in the marketplace my draw back of not with the power to journey and film are pretty small, merely hanging tight in the meanwhile. I actually really feel very fortunate.
On a world scale it’s a crazy time to be alive and see. It’s pressured numerous individuals decelerate, get out of standard routines. I consider we’ll be glad in the long term within the uswe are coping with this virus as a extreme matter. Seeing what occurred in Italy it could be horrible to have a repeat of what occurred there. I don’t suppose it’s a switch out of concern nevertheless further out of preservation of people. I don’t know though, it’s exhausting to say what the exact correct switch is.
Jesse Augustinus:
Correctly, I was planning on occurring a filming journey correct after the Slide In Tour, sadly most counties are on lockdown. Obtained once more dwelling and we’re being advised to not journey. Plus, the entire indoor resorts are closed. I’d wish to board nevertheless it isn’t just for ourselves, however moreover the safety for others.
This textual content initially appeared on Snowboarder.com and was republished with permission.
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jhmyguardiangel · 7 years
Text
C.hs #1: Prom Date
Genre: Fluff, School
Category: Sweet Seventeen
Word Count: 2497 words
A/N: This has been in my drafts for quite sometime now and I finished it just in case i forget! Enjoy~
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The ticking of the clock was only sound that filled in your bedroom while the dimmed desktop lamp gave the room a melancholy glow. Your parents were working overtime for the fourth time this week and your two year old brother sounded asleep in the next room. You were getting some studying done and truth be told, you were actually trying to study. For the past hour and a half, you’ve been procrastinating by scrolling through your favourite social media. You looked at the clock hung beside the door and sighed, it was only nine o’clock.
Slouching your back, you made your way to the kitchen and shuffled through the fridge to grab a soda. You nearly dropped your drink when you heard vigourous knocking at your door.
Rolling your eyes, you already knew who it was.
Your best friend, Hansol Vernon Chwe.
You swung the door open and dropped your can when you felt a heavy weight on you. His scent strong with beer. Vernon was drunk, as usual.
“Let me guess.. You got dumped by your girlfriend again?”
“Mm.” Vernon nodded, his face on your shoulder.
Couldn’t take his weight any longer, you snorted, “Come on, I’ll get you a glass of water.” you pulled him in and threw him on the couch. “Gosh you’re heavy.”
“She.. left me.. for another guy…” he said groggily.
“You dated Yona, the school’s flirt queen. Of course she’ll date you only for a week.” you said in annoyance, “Have I told you to not pursue her? This is like, what, your third girlfriend this month?”
“Why? Do you think you can do a better job of being my girlfriend?” he chuckled with shades of red and pink on his face.
You jumped, blushing. “Well I-” you frowned, “You’re drunk, Vernon.” you said as you left to get him a glass of water.
“Ha! I’m not drunk!”
“Oh yeah? Prove it.”
“You blushed when I asked you a question earlier!” he laughed with a snort. “I’m sober you know.”
You held your cheek and you splashed him with his glass of water because you felt yourself blush again. Vernon was your type but imagining you and him being in a relationship? It was just a wishful thinking, and you definitely didn’t want to lose the friendship if that ever happens. Even though you liked him since you were in the 4th grade.
“Hey what the heck was that for?” he spat.
“You’re awake now? Gosh you should work on your drinking issues.” you scratch your head.
“Don’t expect me to drink from the floor.”
“Oh I’d like to see you try.”
“Whatever. Got an extra tee for me to wear?” he stood up, walking towards your room. “Thanks.”
“Wait- I didn’t even say yes!” you called out.
“You just did!”
You sulked on the couch. It was always like this. Vernon would always stop by your apartment either drunk on one day or sober on the next. It was his way of ‘getting over’ his past girlfriends or he ran away from home, saying your apartment felt more homely than his. Your home was his go-to place to sleep in and you were basically his confidant. He was more or less a freeloader.
“So this is where my tee at.” he came out with his daffy duck shirt. “I’ve been looking for this you know.”
“Oh sorry. It was very comfortable to wear and I was so attached to it I forgot it was even yours.”
“I’d rather for you to be attached to me instead.” he mumbled.
You glanced at him and scrunched a confused brow. “You said something?”
“Uh. Nope.” he flopped on the couch next to you, forgetting about the damp area where you splashed the water at, “Got any movies to watch?”
“Yep.”
-------
You woke up the next morning and jolted out of the couch remembering you had to bring your brother to day care. Vernon had already left and your phone buzzed, receiving a text message.
>>I’ll be going home to take a shower and have a change of clothes. See you at the bus stop at eight thirty sharp.
You smiled as you put a hat on your sibling’s head, replying to Vernon’s message.
<<Got it. See you loser.
The hardest part was to leave the house, it had always been. You couldn’t do anything at least, because once your foot sets outside your door, you would receive glares, pitiful looks, and clicked tongues from your neighbours.
The kid you had in your arms wasn’t your child, but your brother.
You had expected for this to happen, given the age gap. Your parents had married young, at 16. Because of that, they worked countless nights for you, and you spent most of your time at Vernon’s place. Though they got busier two years ago. Before you knew it, your brother was born.
They’d be home during the weekends or sometimes three times a month. You hoped that the people around would understand, but the world didn’t work that way. There would always be judgment and critics, you had to accept it.
Vernon knew about your situation and much to your relief, he helped a lot quite often. People at the university thought that he was the father and he was sure that he explained more than a thousand times that the kid was your brother.
“Got you and Seungjae breakfast.” he shook the plastic bag he had in hand, carrying your brother with one arm after.
“Thanks. We stop at his daycare first and to uni we go.”
“Ew you sound like a mom.” he joked.
“Gross you act like a dad.” you echoed his tone waved your arm to signal the bus.
-------
“Y/N, we’re on duty for prom decorations.” Seungkwan, you and Vernon’s best friend, called out, carrying a box.
“Right.” You swung your sling bag around your shoulder. Following Seungkwan down the stairs, you came upon realization that you had to pick your brother up. “Seungkwan-ah, I have to-”
“Don’t worry about it.” he cut you off.
Your mouth went agape. “You didn’t even hear what I was supposed to say.”
“It’s about your brother right?” he pushed the door with his back as he let you into hall. “I told Vernon to get him in your stead since you are on duty with me for the decorations.”  
“Oh..” you smiled, “Thanks Seungkwan.”
“No biggie.” he said as he put the box on a table. “I don’t get it. Why on earth do we have prom in uni when proms are meant for high school? Oh my gosh.”
“You’re the one to talk. Don’t forget you’re the one of the people who organised this.” you giggled, tying up your hair to get ready.
“That’s the point. Gosh I hate myself for pushing this. I wanna back out.”
“Why back out? Everyone already joined. Besides, you missed the prom in high school,” you paused, “on purpose.”
“Ah.” he scratched his head. “Y/N, you know very well what the reason was.”
Seungkwan had a pretty harsh memory about senior prom. He called in busy when he actually wasn’t. The situation was, well quite dramatic. He attempted to ask his long time crush, Cheng Xiao, to be his date. Tables had turned that he ended up rushing to the male’s toilet and threw up. He said she was too cute that it got him too nervous. When he got back, Cheng Xiao already accepted one guy’s invite.
“I know. I know. Who knows she might be your date this year.”
Seungkwan blushed and threw confetti at you. “Let’s just get this done, shall we?”
“Alright.” you waved the confetti off you.
-------
You exchanged glances at your laptop then at Vernon, who was helping your brother colour his colouring book. You thought about the prom- or UniOn Dinner, as the teachers called it. There wasn’t any news from Vernon of having a dinner date, and you hoped he was still free. He was the only guy friend you were close with, besides Seungkwan.
You blushed at the thought. No way. Being the playboy he normally was, he probably already had three dates reserved for the prom. You shook your head and gently slapped your cheeks to erase that thinking.
Vernon looked at you. “You alright?”
You jumped at his sudden voice, “Y-yeah. I’m cool, I’m alright.”
“Okay.” he stretched his legs on the couch. “You don’t mind that I stay here for another night?”
“Do whatever you want.”
He nodded. The house finally quieted down as your brother fell asleep. You didn’t know why, but being with Vernon was meant to be normal. Should be very normal in fact. However, something made you feel awkward with him. It could be the prom that made you feel this way. You certainly wanted him to be your date but it wasn’t all that easy to ask him. You wanted him to make the first move.
The following morning came by quickly. You’ve finally pushed away your bottled cowardliness within and gathered up the courage to ask Vernon for prom dinner.
Should be a piece of cake, you mentally told yourself.
Or so you thought.
“Yeah I’d love to.” you stopped behind a wall to have heard a voice of a girl.
“Cool. So I’ll see you on Friday at 6pm?”
Your eyes widened. That was Vernon’s voice. You clenched your heart to cease the aching but it didn’t- it only hurt more. He sounded happy and excited. Well he should be because the girl he asked out accepted his invitation to prom. On the contrary, you weren’t. You shook your head and left for home.
You heard Seungkwan called out for you but you didn’t bother to stop or turn around. His voice was muffled by your thoughts. What is this? You surely knew that one had no right to react on such a situation unless you and a person were a thing. Well heck, you thought that this was a situation that had every right for you to react. Even though you shouldn’t.
Before anything that happened, it was already Friday. Your brother was with your grandparents for the weekend and here you were locked at home, not planning to attend the dinner. Bummed out that Vernon had already asked a girl out, it confirmed that you do like Vernon more than just a friend and by heavens you wanted to be something more.
Seungkwan texted you saying that Cheng Xiao was date and he was on cloud nine. He also promised that we wouldn’t throw up in front of her. He hoped you would catch up since you did play your part in the preparation.
“It’s impossible now.” you told yourself.
Getting off bed, you checked the clock, it was half past six and Vernon probably met up to pick up his date and went for dinner.
Just then, the doorbell rang and your lousy self forced your way to the door. For sure it would be girl scouts selling you cookies every day every two hours. You thought it was annoying.
“Look girls please don’t ask me to buy your dumb cookies.” you said as you opened the door.
“Then can you buy some of my time?”
You looked up. A suited, backcombed, and a fresh looking Vernon in front of you. “Han? What’re you doing here? Where’s your date?”
He smiled and stiffly swayed with his hand in his pockets. “I’m speaking to her right now.”
Your mouth opened and didn’t say a word, too shocked to be hearing this. “I- I must be dreaming..”
Vernon chuckled a little and leaned closer, giving you kiss on the cheek before saying, “No you’re not.”
You blushed and you were sure that you were red like your period. “What? What about the girl you asked out?”
“Yewon? No, I didn’t ask her out.”
“But I heard you a few days ago.. You asked her out.”
“Oh that? I asked her to help me find you a pair of footwear and a gown, so we met up. Nothing else.” he shook the bag he was holding. “I was going to tell you about it but Seungkwan told me you ran out crying before I could.” he sighed. “I’m sorry.”
“No I should be sorry. I misunderstood you.”
You and Vernon smiled at each other. “So get dressed, we don’t want to be late now, do we? I’ll wait here.”
You shut the door and changed into the gown Vernon got you. It was in your favourite colour, though it was new to you as reached to the ground. It had a V open at the back so it was rather revealing. You put on a little make up and fixed your hair into curls before tying it into a low messy bun.
Vernon was waiting outside, holding the hairpiece he got you. He wished he did ask you out personally but he thought he should surprise you since you took your time to listen to his problems with his past girlfriends and problems he had at home. Though he knew you since you were ten, there was something about you he couldn’t find on any other girl. Only you had it- a loving heart.
He immediately stood up when you said you were ready. He loved the way you looked. He thought you looked a ballet dancer- elegant yet sophisticated. You were the answer to his worries and he knew you like the back of his hand. There he realized his missing piece was you. And you were home to him.
You sheepishly smiled at him, quite embarrassed yet you felt ecstatic about what would happen. Even though you were quite upset of him not asking you personally, you mentally scolded yourself for running away. But none of it mattered now. He was still your date.
“You.. You look beautiful..” he said, looking away as he covered half of his blushing face.
“T-thank you.” you stuttered. Vernon reached out and placed the hairpiece on you.
“I didn’t prepare us a ride so would riding my bike work?”
You slapped his shoulder playfully. “Hansol!”
“I’m kidding.” he smiled then kissed your forehead and gestured his hand to you, “Shall we?”
“Let’s.” you responded with glee and walked to the car he had parked earlier.
“I chose the gown by the way.” he whispered.
“Hansol!” you blushed.
Having your best friend/ crush as your prom date? It could happen.
121 notes · View notes
purplesurveys · 5 years
Text
510
What was the brand of your first ever cell phone? It was one of the Nokias with a lime green screen and Space Impact and a super ancient version of Snake. What are your 3 favorite internet sites? Twitter, YouTube, and Reddit. Do you have a favorite pair of blue jeans? Describe them. They’re skinny jeans and high-waisted. I just borrow them from my sister though so I don’t get to use it a lot. :( What profession do you respect? All of them. Have you ever been the recipient of a practical joke? Sure. My mom once pulled a joke on me when I was about 8. I told her my hiccups wouldn’t stop; she didn’t mind it first, but then she tells me about how she received a call from my school saying someone had stolen some of the eggs from the cafeteria. Now, as someone who used to buy egg sandwiches in school, I was immediately interested haha. Soon enough my mom tells me that the school claims they saw me did it, so I started to panic and beg for my mom to cover my ass. I was absolutely scared and freaking out at the mall at that point, and I just wanted to be let off the hook from this random-ass egg fiasco.
She ends her entire spiel by saying, “Your hiccups stopped, didn’t they?”
Have you ever ate something you've dropped on the floor, if so what? I eat food off the floor when I drop them all the time, but there was one instance my siomai fell onto the ground that had a gravel finish. Immediate regrets. Would you consider being an Uber driver if you needed to make extra money? Yes. How do you know when you're in love, what's the main sign? I’ve only fell in love once, but the main sign for me during the time was that I began crying over them. Like just outright emotional, and I didn’t understand why. Turns out that not-understanding is just me trying to deny it. Have you ever gotten anything autographed, if so by who & what was it? I bought an already-autographed poster of AJ Lee. I dunno if that counts. Although, Andrew DID just have a meet-and-greet with another wrestler, Sheamus, last Tuesday. He said he had a print of Sheamus’ autographed for me. I don’t know if he was serious, but it would be so swell if it’s real. Do you prefer Walmart or Target? I haven’t been to either. What do you long for? A successful thesis. If you could be a personal assistant to anyone, who would it be? BEYONCÉ What is the most important thing you can do to improve yourself? Seeing a therapist would probably be the first, most obvious way to go. What makes it hard for you to keep your focus? The internet haha. Case in point: I planned to study a 33-page reading last night, but I kept getting distrated by notifications that came in my phone. Even if I tried to turn off the wi-fi, I’d turn it back on if I wanted to check for any new messages. After three hours, I was still only on page 9. Do you think society has become too PC (politically correct)? It definitely has, and I might be the only person on this hill but I’m kind of glad it has. I don’t mind a little or a lot of political correctness. PH isn’t a very progressive country in itself and you’d be shocked to find out just how many Filipinos still use a lot of backwards terms, so it’s healthy for me to know what the inoffensive words are. What tragic love story do you relate to? I don’t know if there’s any. Has your intuition or "gut" served you well? Its definitely had its ups. Back in 2015, coming home from school, I saw my mom’s car parked in our driveway. That NEVER happens. Immediately felt sick sick to my stomach and believed a grandparent had died. Not because my mom was sick and had to go home, not because my mom had an errand to run, but because a grandparent died. It was my grandfather (her dad) who died that day. What's the longest you've ever waited in line for something and what was it? My sister and I lined up for 8 hours outside the Mall of Asia Arena for our One Direction concert. The titanium section was first-come first-served, so we wanted to go in in early. SPOILER ALERT: arriving 8 hours before the concert – for One Direction for that matter – is late as fuck. Who is your favorite model? Taylor Hill or Kendall Jenner. What have you done that is out of character for you? Be head of the external affairs committee in my org. Literally the last committee I would have had signed up for. The job is everything I hate, until super super recently. Would you rather get a gift card or a gift that someone bought for you? As long as they thought of me while getting the gift, it’s immediately special for me. Who is the most visionary person in your life & how do they inspire you? My internship boss is so cool. She’s one of the smartest people I know and she has a really snappy sense of diskarte (Filipino word that’s hard to translate; think resourcefulness or mojo). She’s seen a lot and been through a lot, and I couldn’t help but look up to her during my stint in their company. How do you handle a betrayal? Cut the betrayer/s out of my life. What do you feel strong enough to protest about? Anything that aims to support or glorify the Marcoses. What's the biggest blooper you've never lived down? We were playing Heads Up! at a family Chrismas party several Christmases ago. My category was Filipino Christmas food – and mind you I’m not super familiar with all of them because I’m generally not a fan of Filipino rice cakes. Anyway, I name every food I know one by one, and I excitedly scream out “PUTO BIMBING” and I saw every single damn relative in front of me collapse and start having seizures and SCREAMING AT ME from laughing too hard. I swear they must have laughed in my face for like 3 minutes. Apparently, the right word is ‘puto bumbong.’ To this day I still don’t know why I blurted out bimbing, I’m literally laughing so hard right now just typing this down :((((( My family brings it up literally once every couple of months or so. This blooper is probably only funny for Filipinos, but still. If you owned a restaurant what kind of food do you want to serve? Gourmet burgers. What will we find if we look in the bottom of your closet today? You would see the books I was assigned to read in school, so that includes a copy of Holes, Number the Stars, Bridge to Terabithia, etc and all of my Shakespeares. All of my AJ Lee action figures are there too, as well as my signed poster of hers. There’s a bunch of other knickknacks in there. What kind of car did you learn how to drive on? The first car I ever tried to drive was my parents’ old Mitsubishi Lancer. I only drove it once because my trial drive drove my mom crazy. I passed my driving test in a Hyundai Elantra, which is honestly such a shitty car and I nearly failed the test because I simply didn’t work well with it. I mostly had to learn with my present car, my Mitsubishi Mirage. I was going to start college and had little time to practice, so when I had to start driving myself to school, that was my practice in itself. What is the best thing you have done just because you were told you can't? Be in a healthy, long-term relationship. My mom used to tell me all the time that no one will ever love me because of how disorganized I am. She meant it seriously, so it stung for many years and also affected the way I dealt with other people. Have you ever had to go to court or testify and if so what for? Nope. Do you believe in karma? It’s fun to fantasize about, but I don’t religiously or spiritually believe in it. Are you more worried about doing the things right, or doing the right thing? Doing the right thing. I hate getting in trouble. Do you believe in the term "Mother knows best?” To some extent, yes. Who is your favorite movie action hero? I was never big on the hero narrative in movies, or any text for that matter. What is one thing you can get in your hometown you can't get elsewhere? My grandmother’s cooking. How important are looks in someone you're in a relationship with? Like, a 4 out of 10. I almost went with dating Mike because he’s really intelligent, even though I found him 0% attractive. What freedom do you feel is not really free anymore? Social media. It used to be a place where we would just post updates, share music, talk to our friends, be goofy in general; nowadays if you fuck up on a joke you thought was harmless, it’d be so easy to end you for good. Also, people would EASILY shoot you down over an opinion that’s different from theirs. I dunno, I just think that we think it’s a ginormous free space for all when really, everyone’s just kind of out there to catch our asses when they see fit. What are you most thankful for? The people who never left. Do you have any favorite talk shows or talk radio programs without music? Not really. I’m a fan of several YouTube series/specials, but I don’t follow talk shows a lot. What was the last book you read? Do readings count? I had to read materials for my Contemporary Philippines class just earlier. What's your favorite online store? I don’t remember where I bought my coloring books from, but it’s either Shopee or Lazada. What band would you love to tour with or be a roadie for? Paramore.
If you were to throw a message in a bottle into the ocean, it would say? I dunno how I feel about that. I feel like it contributes to polluting the oceans more, so I’d rather not do it even if I can come up with a witty message. Do you have common sense or do you think people are lacking in it? Hahahaha it’s here and there. Sometimes I embarrassingly lack it. What's your favorite non-alcoholic drink? Salty Cream Chocolate milk tea from CoCo. How do you feel about thrift shops or flea markets? I don’t really go to those, but something similar we have is called ukay-ukay, which sells secondhand clothes. I’ve recently been converted as a fan after shunning them for a very long time, as all my new tops have been from ukay-ukays haha. What do you like to put gravy on? Fried chicken and mashed potatoes. Have you ever gone canoeing/kayaking? Yes! I did it in Palawan. It was breathtaking to do it there.  What one thing in particular makes you feel good about yourself? Knowing where I go to school, hahaha. What is priceless to you? Dogs finding their forever homes. What do you wait for discount sales to buy? Clothes, mainly. What is one thing you know about your family history you're proud of? I have a lot of amazing ancestors who were crucial to my country’s history, e.g. I’m related to one of the women who sewed the first Philippine flag, one of the diplomats who signed the Treaty of Paris (the treaty in itself is definitely not something to be proud of, but my relative is permanently etched in history nonetheless because of this), and one of my distant great-uncles published a nationalist history book that’s still being greatly relied on in the PH educational system and academe to this day. There’s a lot to be proud of, definitely. What 3 songs will always be found at the top of your playlist? I don’t have a permanent three-song set as my favorites will always change. But right now, it would be composed of Saw You In A Dream by The Japanese House, Pool by Paramore, and Outta My Head by Khalid and John Mayer. What is the craziest thing you've ever done for someone? When I was a freshie in college, I once drove for an hour and a half to visit Gabie for ten minutes. Do you keep a budget? I have to. If you could cast a spell on someone what spell would you cast and on who? For freeloader groupmates to help out in class projects. What makes you feel rested and refreshed? Uh. Sleep? Who depends on you the most? My parents, probably. Could you ever be someone's bodyguard? I doubt it. Pretty sure anyone could break my bones easily lol. Has one of your biggest fears come true? Nope. Is there anything about the opposite sex you just don't understand? A lot of things... Have you ever let your mom or significant other fight a battle for you? I’ve allowed Gabie many times because I was always just too weak, yeah. Did you create a checklist for your ideal spouse? Not really, but when I was in high school I had a stupid phase where I wanted my future boyfriend to be a certain name, because back then I thought that name was attractive LMAAAAOOOO.
If so, what were two things you wanted? He had to be named Gino (IT WAS A POPULAR FILIPINO NAME IN 2015 OK), and he had to be academically smart. This was before I realized I really really don’t like boys. Have you ever ridden on a subway or train an what did you like about it? I rode the train once when I had to do legwork for a journ class and there was no other way to get to the place than to commute. I rode with Jum because I have no idea how to commute alone. I remember liking the fact that it was cold and spacious in the train at the time I got in – then again, it was at a dead hour. I’m sure it’s nothing like that in reality. What song on your playlist gets played the most? I try to listen to all my favorite songs equally. Have you ever received a harsher punishment than you deserved? I don’t think so. Back when my mom used to ground me I used to think I was being abused and I felt so victimized lol. At 21, looking back, it turns out my rebel ass deserved to be whipped with a belt lmfao. Do you prefer sporty or academic members of the opposite sex? I prefer people I can vibe well with, regardless of their strengths and sex. Do you have to experience something to fully understand it? Yes. Has anyone in your family ever served in the military? My great-grandfather is a WWII veteran and a survivor of the Death March in Bataan. Finish the next line in your style: Roses are red, violets are blue... Why am I on Tumblr, when I still have much to do? :((( What embarrasses you instantly? Dropping stuff. Do you think you could be a firefighter, why/why not? No, but I did want to be one when I was young. Firefighters have to be insanely strong because they carry a lot of heavy stuff and...I’m just not...that. Also because I panic easily, and that’s certainly not a good thing in that line of work. Do you often read your horoscope? Never. I don’t care for mine. What current event are you tired of hearing about? Mmm I’m not sure. I kind of care about everything that’s happening in the world at the moment, especially with regard to Hong Kong. Are you a daredevil? Nah. What do you think should be censored? Homophobic / biphobic / transphobic shit. Are you related to anyone famous or historical, if so who? I already expounded on this quite a few questions back in this survey. Would you ever donate a kidney to anyone, and who? Yeah, to people I find really important. How do you encourage yourself when you go through hard times? It doesn’t last forever and I’ll be getting my own house in the next 8-10 years. Have you ever fired a gun? Nope. Do you think people, including yourself live up to their full potential? We should be, anyway. I try to. How are you different from most people? My left pinky is super crooked :( What is the main quality you think makes a great parent? The ability to apologize to your child and recognize that parents can make mistakes too. What creature do you admire for its ability to adapt? As much as I despise them, fucking cockroaches. Have you ever stayed up for an entire 24 hours, why? Nah. I just know I wouldn’t function properly if I did, and I’d be so cranky too. Who is a female role model in your life? I don’t have any. What childhood dreams have you neglected? Being an astronaut, a veterinarian, a writer, and a firefighter. How often do you reevaluate your life? I honestly don’t get the time to, which sucks. I’ve always thought of getting one of those 5-year journals that let you answer one question everyday for the next five years so that you’re able to see how much you mature in that time. It would be nice to have mini-reflections/evaluations everyday, but one copy of it is pretty expensive so I never got around to buying them. What's your favorite place just to hang out? Coffee shops. What do you have trouble seeing clearly in your mind? The future. What three things do you think of most of each day? The tasks I have to do, feeding my dog, and calculating the amount of sleep I’ll be getting at night. Would you travel to space if possible? YES. I’ve always said this has always been a dream of mine. Name a famous person you wouldn't mind for a business partner. Kylie Jenner.
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crdenhart · 7 years
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Spielberg Ranked: My Top 15 Favorite Steven Spielberg Movies
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Steven Spielberg always has been one of my favorite filmmakers of all time. His movies have been among the best of nearly the past half century, and he is the first director who really got me interested in the craft of filmmaking and made me want to become a filmmaker. In the 6th grade, I dressed up as Steven Spielberg for “future career” day and gave a presentation on his work and my desire to become a filmmaker (I wish I had a picture to include). I now actively produce my own short films as I continue to further my filmmaking career and live out the dream I set out for myself so many years ago. Spielberg and his films constantly come to mind, so it would be nice to list out my top 15 favorite Steven Spielberg films.  Definitely check out all these amazing works if you haven’t already (or watch them again if you have)!
15. Amblin’ (1968)
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Spielberg’s first completed professional short film about the romance between two hitchhikers. Beautifully shot and well made for such a small-scale production; you can really see Spielberg developing his skills as a filmmaker.  This movie is a major influence on my short film “Double Cloud Nine,” which I shot summer 2016 (https://youtu.be/m0sFWa_CqCA).
14. Duel (1971)
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Spielberg’s first feature-length film is also one of his most thrilling! Great car chase scenes and a wonderful performance by Dennis Weaver (who is pretty much the only actor throughout the movie) as the terrified salesman stalked by a malevolent trucker.
13. Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade (1989)
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Spielberg turned down the opportunity to direct Rain Man to make this movie. Spielberg probably regrets not getting to make that film in retrospect, but Crusade is the best Indiana Jones sequel and has some great action sequences and good performances by stars Harrison Ford and Sean Connery.
12. Super 8 (2011)
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JJ Abrams wrote and directed this film, but Spielberg produced it and the film pays homage to many of his earlier films. I love how the movie is all about young filmmakers because the movie came out right after I graduated high school, and making short films in my radio/TV class with my friends and classmates was such an important and fun time in my life; I could really relate to the characters well.
11. AI: Artificial Intelligence (2001)
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Stanley Kubrick started production on this sci-fi classic but died suddenly in 1999, so it was up to Steven Spielberg to finish the project. Though there is controversy over if Kubrick would have made a better movie, Spielberg delivers an amazing film just as magical as some of his greatest works. Great performances by Haley Joel Osment and Jude Law as humanoid robots and incredible special effects and wonderful score by John Williams.
10. Minority Report (2002)
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One of my favorite Tom Cruise movies (his late 1990s/early 2000s era is his best). The movie is like The Fugitive set in a futuristic society. Really intense action sequence combines with cool CGI. I also like the overexposed, washed-out look of the film that gives it a unique cinematographic style. Also, some good sci-fi concepts and presentations of philosophical societal questions.
9. Jurassic Park (1993)
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Spielberg’s greatest achievement as a blockbuster filmmaker. It’s amazing how the realistic CGI of the dinosaurs holds up nearly 25 years later. Really great performances by the cast, especially Sam Neill and Jeff Goldblum! I watched this movie all the time at my grandparents’ house growing up as a kid and got me interested in dinosaurs and science as a whole.
8. Empire of the Sun (1987)
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Spielberg’s first real war movie (I’m not counting 1941 or the “Time Out” segment of Twilight Zone) and the film that really got me interested in the study of film and the art of filmmaking. This was my favorite movie in junior high (circa 2006)! I watched it all the time (my dad even jokes about how much I was obsessed with the film). A young Christian Bale gives one of his best performances as a boy who witnesses WWII first-hand in a Japanese internment camp. It’s so well-crafted, paced; top-notch drama, war action, and music by John Williams (especially the track “Suo Gan”). The movie fills me with every emotion!
7. Saving Private Ryan (1998)
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Spielberg’s best war movie! No war film since has been able to top the battle sequences, especially the perfect recreation of the D-Day invasion of Normandy. Great performances by the large cast, including Tom Hanks and Matt Damon.
6. Schindler’s List (1993)
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Spielberg’s greatest achievement as a straight-up prestige picture (I don’t want to say “Oscar bait” because that’s a negative term and List is an incredible movie). It’s not a movie I like to watch over and over again because of the depressing subject matter (the Holocaust is near the top of my list of most terrible things), but the film is utterly brilliant! Incredible black-and-white cinematography and use of color in some sequences and mesmerizing performances, especially by Liam Neeson and Ralph Fiennes. It brings the horror of the Holocaust to life in the most amazing way possible. Stanley Kubrick even cancelled plans to make a Holocaust movie because he feared he couldn’t top Spielberg.
5. Jaws (1975)
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Spielberg’s first big hit that made the summer blockbuster the standard! Very suspenseful scenes heightened by John Williams’ iconic score. Also, great cinematography and performances by Roy Scheider, Robert Shaw and Richard Dreyfuss.
4. Catch Me If You Can (2002)
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My favorite Leonardo DiCaprio role! Love the ‘60s setting, soundtrack and overall style of the movie. Wonderful performances also by Tom Hanks, Christopher Walken, and Martin Sheen. Spielberg is at his best when he expertly switches the pace between comedy and drama and thriller.
3. Close Encounters of the Third Kind (1977)
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Spielberg’s sci-fi directing at its best! The music and special effects are incredible, but the real heart of the film is Richard Dreyfuss’s amazing performance as a man who becomes obsessed with UFOs. My high school film literature teacher loves this movie the most and really explained well how important the film influenced Hollywood.
2. Raiders of the Lost Ark (1981)
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The greatest action-adventure film ever made! Includes some of the best action sequences in movies ever (I always like the scenes where Indy just shoots the guy who acts like he’s going to fight, the fight near the airplane, and the entire opening sequence) and gave us one of the greatest characters in movie history with Indiana Jones (Harrison Ford).
1. ET: The Extra-Terrestrial (1982)
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Spielberg’s perfect film! This has been one of my favorite movies since childhood. Wonderful performances by the kids, especially star Henry Thomas, and excellent puppetry to create the character of ET. John Williams' score also gives me the feels, especially in the sequences when ET causes the kids to fly on their bikes. The cinematography is some of the best ever and looks so realistic (the movie was filmed in the early ‘80s but looks like it was shot in the 2000s). I don’t know if Spielberg himself will ever be able to top this film!  He has contributed so much to cinema, and I always look forward to seeing what magic he creates next!
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