#and also most of my fics don't reach the feedback I thought I'd get and gosh it's hard to keep writing them

[chaithetics]

Furtive Hands

Pairing: Stewy Hosseini x f (Roy) reader

Word count: 7.3K

Chapter/content warning: 18+ MINORS DNI, established/secret relationship, smut, fingering, P in V intercourse, some fluff, soft but also kind of dom-ish Stewy? Vague-ish mentions of canonical childhood abuse/trauma, and toxic family dynamics, Logan makes a cameo at the start (deserves its own warning), Logan's death and grief mentioned also Roman being a bit of a douche. I think that's it?

(Reader is technically a Roy because that's how the plot/idea worked but I avoided physical descriptions other than reader having AFAB physical characteristics. You're more than welcome to canon this reader as being adopted or half-siblings with the other Roys. I try to avoid giving physical characteristics and am tempted to continue to code all my readers as readers of colour out of spite due to the lack of intersectionality in fics. My reader in A Cinematic Lover has no physical characteristics other than being chronically ill but is Desi coded.)

Author's Note: I didn't proofread all of it, whoops. This is also my first time writing Stewy and I'm not too sure how I feel about this fic. I don't feel super confident in saying that "I captured his voice" etc. But I adore Stewy Hosseini and Arian Moayed and we need more Stewy fics. Please let me know your thoughts! I'd really appreciate the feedback :)

Like being in the Roy family, being the youngest in the clan had its perks and downfalls. You’d been able to get away most of your life with your father’s wrath directed towards your older siblings but at a certain point when they’d reached adulthood before you and it was quickly redirected towards you. You and your older brother Connor were the only ones to stay out of the family business, Connor was technically more involved than you which said a lot to anyone familiar with the family’s affairs. 

Despite being the youngest it would be fair to say you were the most emotionally mature of your siblings (although you could easily admit that’s a very low bar) and the most well-adjusted (again, another relatively low bar). You were a practising clinical psychologist who had of course undergone a bunch of therapy yourself for your childhood trauma. You’d wrapped up a session and were walking a patient out before heading back into your office for your office lunch date when you were interrupted by a booming presence. 

“Dad?” You immediately questioned. “What are you doing? You shouldn’t be here-” 

“I thought I’d stop by. See the new office-”

“I’ve had this office for 3 years.” You interjected. 

Logan quirked an eyebrow at that, he seemed almost amused at your assertive call out. You had been a louder child like Roman but unlike your brother, you became quieter as a teenager. You knew your father had assumed that was because you didn’t have whatever “deficiency” he believed Roman had and that you’d grown out of it. The reality was, that it was a trauma response and you’d learnt that life was easier with him if you were quiet and made your presence as sparse as possible. 

He’d always found playing his games with you particularly interesting due to this, you weren’t as quiet now as you were as a teenager and you weren’t as loud as you were as a child, somewhere in the middle. You could slink off at the few family gatherings you intended to not be questioned or dragged into shop talk. But you still had a known presence and you were the only one of his children who could somewhat confidently cut him off and respond to him with what he’d deem as some sense of calmness. You weren’t as pliant to him as your siblings which made his mind games all the more intriguing to him. 

“Right. Well, it’s a nice enough place.” 

“Thanks.” You bit your lip as you waited for your father to continue, he didn’t show up for no reason. 

You were trying to project a calm facade you were starting to worry for a myriad of reasons. With what was going on with your family this wouldn’t be any pure coincidence. You weren’t the most involved in the family business but you were well aware and received updates from Kendall. But there was also concern over the potential sighting of your lunchtime visitor. 

“Well dear, I need you to do something for me.” You tilted your head and your brow furrowed at his words. 

“Since when do you need favours? Specifically favours from clinical psychologists?” You questioned. 

“It’s to do with your siblings.” Logan spoke flatly as he then sat himself down on one of the armchairs in your waiting room. He was mildly irritated that you hadn’t invited him into your office and that you’d kept that room off limits for him, blocking the doorway to it. 

You scoffed at his words and rolled your eyes, one thing was for sure, whatever this was, it wasn’t good. 

“Continue.” 

Logan’s eyes narrowed at you slightly as he watched you as if it was the first time he was seeing you. He was used to you being uninterested and not the way that Shiv tried to play everything cool with Logan. You were genuinely uninterested, your eyes looked cold.

You had a colder approach with your father in comparison to your siblings, it was healthier and the easiest for you to maintain without being sucked in like they were. It wasn’t a big surprise to anyone that you weren’t impressed with the confrontations that happened in your presence, your siblings had weird concepts and responses of support. But there were the built-in responses as you’d gotten older, Kendall defended and you comforted. 

Logan hadn’t always given you a great deal of attention in those moments but he was familiar with your mannerisms as he’d call them now. But today you seemed annoyed, this wasn’t an emotion that Logan felt like he’d seen from his youngest in almost a lifetime. He  found it to almost be the most interesting he’d ever found you, he mused that you must know or be hiding something. 

“Well, you grew up with Kendall, Roman and Siobhan. You understandably know them well and you have a unique skillset with your area of expertise.” He paused for a moment watching your face as he said that before continuing. 

“And?” 

“You would’ve made observations of their behaviours over the years. Symptoms-behaviours- whatever the fuck you want to call it. You have the power to diagnose.” You looked at him and the cooler facade you normally actively projected with him was starting to fade into one of horror. “I’d like you to write a piece on that, about your siblings. Their credibility, illnesses. A media circuit perhaps as well. You’re a credible and telling source.” 

You stared at your father in silence, you didn’t know what to say to him. This was awful, even for him. 

“So?” He broke the silence, his eyes were deadly serious, and his lips were in a small but twisted smirk. 

“No. No! Just no…That’s absolutely fucked up. No.” You looked around starting to think about how messed up that your father hadn’t just come up with this idea but that he was willing to do it to his children, your older siblings and drag you into this. “No, and if I did that who would then get the chance to write the think piece on you?” You asked sardonically rubbing your brow. 

“Well, I’m sure Shiv could whip up a sequel to her letter on Kendall.” He bit back almost nonchalantly. 

“I shouldn’t be surprised but I just can’t get over the fact that you’d do this, that you’d ask me to do this dad. What you did to Kendall after that Board vote, was sick… And again? To all of them?” You were starting to feel nauseous and weaker around him. 

“Are you talking to Kendall?” He asked in a cold tone. 

“He’s my brother.” You raised an eyebrow at him. 

“And I’m your father.” 

“Unfortunately.” You looked into his eyes and bit your cheek. 

He scoffed at that. He’d come in relatively calm, well calm for him but he was quickly becoming agitated at your lack of cooperation.  

“He’s a lousy excuse for a son and a brother.” 

“Kendall doesn’t interrupt my day of work for a fucked up favour.” You spat out, you weren’t shying away from his gaze even though his presence was getting too much for you. “I think you should leave Dad. I have patients and I need to eat something, I need lunch.” 

“Fine. Don’t give my regards to your fucking brother.” He said as he started to get up, you just leaned against the wall. 

“Hey-” Stewy’s voice crackled against the thick tension between you and your father as he waltzed into the entryway of your waiting room. He paused for a second as his gaze quickly landed on your father and you. You thought you saw a brief flicker of panic in his eyes but he quickly and efficiently plastered over it. 

“And what the fuck are you doing here?” Logan directed at Stewy with a huff and an eye roll. Logan’s concern and suspicion were piqued significantly now as his disappointed gaze flicked over to you. 

“Well sir Roy, your deleterious business plans and board meetings are getting a bit too traumatic, that much I now need to see Dr Roy.” Stewy immediately and confidently jumped in, his playful and pointed lie came across smoothly and convincingly. Logan scoffed at that and started to walk out. 

“Don’t think about trying any of your peacock philandering with my daughter,” Logan said to Stewy as he walked past him. 

“How thoughtful, safe travels sir.” Stewy laughed off Logan’s comment which just seemed to irritate him more. 

“Think about it.” Logan said as he looked back at you as he was in the doorway, you just held his gaze for a moment. 

“I’ll see you at the wedding.” You calmly stated, he narrowed his eyes again at you for a second and then just walked off. 

**********

Stewy wasn’t a patient of yours, he fortunately never had been, that would’ve been a massive ethical violation. He was meeting you at the office for lunch, something that you two often did. It had been vaguely discussed in the past that if somebody ever saw him in your office it could be easy to dismiss it as him being a patient or wanting some kind of psychological consultation relating to work. It was never an excuse that had been needed before today and you were surprised at how quickly Stewy went into that mode and how he simply sold it. 

You were sitting on the sofa in your office with your legs in Stewy’s lap, he had an arm over the back of the sofa and his other hand was gently caressing your legs as you recounted the brief visit from your father before Stewy came. Stewy was playful and a bit chaotic but he was also intelligent and he could be serious and thoughtful, which he often was for you. 

“I should call Kendall before something happens.” You said looking at Stewy and he nodded, continuing his comforting, soft touches on your sprawled-out legs. 

You grabbed your phone and called Kendall, the phone barely rang before it was answered. 

“Yo?”

“Dad came by the office earlier today.” 

“Oh? What did the old fuck want?” Kendall teased.

“He asked me to write a piece on you, Rome and Shiv. To air out everyone’s laundry, basically ‘diagnose’ you all and try to discredit your side of what’s going on. It was so fucked up Ken.” There was a pause for a moment, you heard Kendall sigh and then inhale. You made eye contact with Stewy who was silent and watching you. 

You had a requited soft spot for Kendall. He was your older brother and he was a good one at that. He was fiercely defensive of all his siblings, which he seemed to prioritise over his own trauma and feelings in confrontations with your father. But as the baby of the family and not having the same tongue as your siblings, you suppose you came across as weaker, more vulnerable. You’d concluded a long time ago that this added to the soft spot that Kendall has for you. You also thought subconsciously it was also linked to the fact that you were the most patient and sympathetic sibling he had. 

“What did you say?” Kendall finally asked, his voice was more serious now. 

“I said no, a bazillion times. I told him it was sick and asked him to leave.”

Ken nodded, and then he remembered that you couldn’t see that. 

“That’s pretty fucked up. Not surprising though I guess…”

“Are you with Rome and Shiv?” You asked. 

“Uh-huh, they’re in the uh, they’re inside.” Kendall answered quickly. 

“Can you tell them?” 

“Yeah, sure but-” 

“I’m really sorry Ken but I have another patient soon, I just wanted to tell you as soon as I could in case something happened. I didn’t want to do it over text.” You answered. 

“Okay, I’ll see you at the rehearsal. Thanks as well.” His second sentence was softer. 

“Yeah, of course. See you then.” You then hung up and looked at Stewy. 

“Did he sound okay to you?” You asked Stewy. 

“Sounded pretty okay for Ken.” Stewy responded as he moved his hand away from your legs and to hold your now phone-free hand. You just nodded and Stewy changed the subject to something else for the rest of your lunch hour which you appreciated. 

****** 

You would say you have a complicated but good relationship with your siblings. While you had the same mother as Kendall, Shiv, and Roman, you and Connor were bonded by your outcast status regarding family affairs. You didn’t agree with a lot of the opinions that left Connor’s mouth but he was still a compassionate older brother to you. You often were iced out together at family gatherings as it was all a business opportunity for your father’s attention. 

You were glad that you just had to relay your father’s request to Kendall. Roman was unpredictable and Shiv would’ve assumed that you had sold them out and this was a mind game. An opinion she’d probably make clear to everyone else and in some way to you as well. 

There had always been significant sibling rivalry in the Roy household. But Shiv had always seen you as her competition in particular, you two were the only women and she lived in a man’s world always striving to prove herself out of spite and nature. Even now she still believed your kinder nature was an act to disarm. She never hid the looks of distrust in her eyes.  

You were now home. You still had your apartment and stayed there occasionally but that was more to save face than anything else. Somewhere along the timeline of your relationship, you’d almost practically moved into Stewy’s apartment. The walk-in wardrobe was equally divided, and your favourite teas were in the kitchen. “It’s closer to your office” had been the justification at the time when he’d been encouraging you to stay over more. 

It was surprising that you hadn’t been caught yet with that in mind, part of you would sometimes wonder if your siblings did know but they were saving it but you knew that if they did it would’ve come out to slap you in the face by now. 

When you’d first met Stewy what felt like a million years ago you never would’ve expected something like this to happen. Then when this all happened and started a few years ago it was still, very unexpected. But he knew probably better than what anyone else would ever be able to comprehend what it meant to get seriously involved with a Roy, even one not involved in the family business. He and Kendall had an interesting friendship and history, with Stewy having been mostly good to your brother. But Stewy was always good to you. 

As you let yourself in you kicked off your shoes lost in your thoughts but you quickly noticed Stewy wasn’t back yet. This wasn’t a surprise though, your job meant you got to work more of a typical 9-5. Something you were grateful for, it seemed like life was just one, endless business meeting and opportunity for everyone involved at Waystar. 

You’d made yourself a cup of tea and were now leaning against the bench in the kitchen with it while scrolling on your phone. You had Google alerts set for all of your immediate family and Stewy, surprisingly there didn’t seem to be too much drama online today. 

“Ugh, fuck!” Stewy’s voice boomed and you heard a bang. 

“Shit, Stewy? Are you okay?” You quickly called out as you made your way over to the apartment's entryway. 

“Yeah, just tripped over your shoes again.” Stewy responded with an amused expression as he took his shoes off and moved them along with yours out of the way. 

This wasn’t the first time it had happened and Stewy knew it wouldn’t be the last. 

“I’m sorry.” You said bashfully as you walked over to hug him, pressing a soft, playful kiss to his lips. “I guess, it’s a good thing you love me.” You kissed him again, teasingly nipping on his bottom lip that was in between yours. 

“You’re such a brat baby.” Stewy smirked as his hand wrapped more firmly around your waist and he kissed you back. 

“I thought you loved that?” You teased between kisses as each one became more heated and desperate with lust. Despite Stewy often being caught or easily roped into your family drama he was the best distraction, escape and companion from everything. 

“I do.” Stewy breathed out as he continued to kiss you and was now kissing your jaw. 

“And I love you…” You whimpered out as his lips started to travel down your neck. He now had you pressed against the wall.  

“And what is it that you love exactly baby?” Stewy purred out as he nibbled around your pulse point. He was always such a tease. 

“I love your hair-” You moaned out as you dug your fingers into his soft, gorgeous curls that were always perfect. “Your voice, eyes, those goddamn turtlenecks, your smile, your colossal vocabulary-” 

“Didn’t you say it was farcical the other day?” Stewy said as he stopped kissing you and looked at you. 

“Stewy!” You whined out, you couldn’t feel his lips on you any more but you could still feel him against you but it wasn’t enough. You needed him. His gorgeous dark eyes were blown out with lust but he had his signature playful, mischievous smirk painted across his face as he cruelly teased you. “You’re such a tease.” 

“I thought you loved that.” He quipped back. You rolled your eyes and took the bait.  

“I do, I love how much of a tease you are.” He felt your breath against his neck as you spoke and then pressed a kiss against his neck, breathing him in. He always smelt so good, despite being a bit of a natural peacock it wasn’t showy, it was more subtle but strong enough. You were certain there was sandalwood in his cologne. “I also love how you feel inside of me.” You spoke as your soft lips kissed his handsome jaw, your soft lips a burning contrast against the tickle of his perfectly trimmed beard. 

“Someone’s getting laid tonight.” Stewy got out, pressing his hips against you as you continued kissing along his jaw and neck, tugging his now tousled curls. 

“That was the plan after all Mr. Hosseini.” You smirked against his neck, feeling him continue to harden against you. He let out a soft, melodic moan as you sucked softly on his neck. 

“How does now sound?” 

“Perfect.” You left his neck to kiss him on the lips, you moaned against his mouth as his teeth clashed against yours. 

One of his hands left your waist to quickly unbutton your pants. Once he’d done that, he quickly slipped a hand in, teasing you as he palmed you and then started to tease your bundle of nerves over your underwear. Your arousal had already started to dampen your underwear and it only grew with his attention. You continued to moan against him, as he gingerly traced a pattern.  

“You’re already so wet and I’ve barely touched you.” Stewy teased. “So beautiful and needy.”

Stewy smirked as he felt you press into his hand more, even with the friction of your underwear, you needed more. You wanted him then and there. You kept hungrily kissing him, feeling starved. Stewy snaked a finger under your underwear and rubbed it along your clitoris for a few seconds before dipping it inside of you making you gasp. 

“More, please Stewy.” You begged between kisses, panting as he chuckled. 

“Such a desperate girl with a needy pussy.” Stewy whispered into your ear as he added a second finger in, he picked up the pace a bit he continued to finger you and his thumb moved to rub over your clitoris a few times. His fingers were covered in your slick and you didn’t have any interest in holding back any of your moans. 

You stayed sandwiched between the wall and Stewy, just moving to press your head against his shoulder, the fabric of his blazer muffled some of your moans as he continued to finger you. You looked down and started to undo his belt and pants. 

“What do you think you're doing baby?” Stewy asked in a low voice that was just making the space in between your thighs grow into an even bigger pool of dampness, you were melting against him. 

“I want you.” You tilted your head up so it was still resting against his shoulder but you were now facing his neck more, you started to kiss his neck again, biting it softly and then licking it. “I want you to fuck me Stewy.” 

“Beg.” Stewy breathed out as he let out a little moan as your tongue darted over his pulse point. His fingers were still entering you but not as deep as before and his thumb was painfully slowly, languidly massaging your bundle of nerves. 

“Please Stewy. Fuck me, I need to feel you deep inside of me.” You nipped him softly right near his pulse point and revelled in the groan he let out at that. “Please, I’m begging you Stewy. I need you.” 

“Tell me exactly what you need.” His thumb cruelly left your clitoris for a moment making you gasp out in shock but he added a third finger inside of you, getting to that soft spot that made you melt and his thumb gently returned to your clitoris after a few seconds. 

“I uh, I-I need you. I need you inside of me now Stewy. I need to feel your cock inside of me.” You moaned out. “Nobody has ever and could ever fill me up the way you do. It feels so good, you make me feel so good. Pl-please Stewy. Please.” You mewled out and you couldn’t quite see his face but you knew it would have that beautiful arrogant smirk. 

“I’ll fuck you, baby. I just need you to come for me first, you can do that, right? I can tell your desperate little pussy is already so close.” You nodded desperately, he wasn’t wrong. You were close to unravelling, he could tell from your breathing and how you weren’t just flooding his fingers but also clamping around him. 

“I’m so close, Stew, fuck.” You moaned out, panting against his neck, it tickled him slightly. You bit your lip and moaned against his neck, he could feel the vibration of it and he loved that, that and the sound of your pleasure. You could feel it coming and gasped into his neck again as you came, Stewy could feel it and smiled as his fingering eased to a slower, gentler pace as you came down from your orgasm. 

“How was that?” He smirked as he pressed a kiss to the top of your head. 

“It was- it was…” You paused for a moment as your breathing started to settle, your heart was still pounding from that high though. “Good.” 

“Good? Only good?” He questioned with a tone of mock hurt.

“Just shut up and fuck me now, please Stew.” You bit his neck, just feeling even more needy for him than you did before. 

“I thought you liked my colossal vocabulary and voice?” He teased as he playfully grinded into you “I distinctly remember you saying so a few minutes ago.” 

“You’re so mean Stewy.” You giggled softly, gently pulling on the roots of his curls. 

“Was that just to get me into your pants?” Stewy paused the grinding, his tone acting as if he was hurt and that the insinuation was possibly true. 

“I guess not because that obviously didn’t work very well.” You responded, leaning back against the wall. He raised an eyebrow at you and then looked down at his belt. You rolled your eyes playfully and started to undo his belt, palming him. He was completely hard but you already knew this from when he’d been grinding into you. 

“Bedroom baby.” Stewy moaned out as you pulled his hard cock out and rubbed it with one hand. 

“You can fuck me here, you’ve done it before.” You pouted and he just chuckled as you kept up with your ministrations. 

“You said I was mean, so you’re not getting it here. You can wait the whole ten seconds it takes to walk to the bed. Our bed for me to have my way with you.” Stewy’s voice was low and firm but there was still that natural teasing tone there. 

You walked briskly to the bedroom that you two shared and Stewy followed and chuckled over the eagerness of your gait. As soon as you both were in the clean room, you kissed him hungrily again. He smirked and expertly unbuttoned your blouse as you pushed his blazer off. You kicked your pants and underwear off and he quickly followed suit. 

Stewy pressed you into the bed and you tugged on the turtleneck he was still wearing to bring him closer to you and then started to push it up off him. 

“Do you love my turtleneck baby?” Stewy teased as you did. 

“Absolutely love it.” You breathed out with a smirk. 

As soon as it was off and thrown to the floor, you were kissing each other again as if you couldn’t survive without the other. You were running your hands over Stewy’s back and up his neck to the luscious locks you loved as he quickly undid your bra. You were both now naked and he continued to kiss you as his hands cupped your chest. 

You moaned out as he started to caress you and pinch your nipples. His lips travelled from yours down to your jaw, your throat, he kissed your breasts and teasingly licked along your nipple for a minute as he started to rub your heat with his other hand. 

“Please Stewy.” You begged out in a desperate moan as your eyes were closed in pleasure. 

“Please, fuck you?” He again teases as he starts to line himself up at your entrance. 

“Yes, please that.” 

Stewy stopped his teasing and happily obliged after what felt like an eternity of almost edging. He pressed his head into you and you gasped as he did, gently scratching his shoulders as he did. It wasn’t long till he was bottomed out, he waited a few seconds for you to adjust before he started to slowly thrust inside of you, eliciting the most melodic moans he’d ever heard. 

“You’re so beautiful and tight, I love being inside of you baby.” Stewy cooed out as his pace quickly picked up a deeper and slightly faster rhythm. 

“You feel so good Stewy, so good inside of me.” You mewled out. 

Your words were literal music to his ears and it wasn’t long till he was grunting out as his thrusts became deeper and harder. 

It was so easy to become lost in Stewy. Especially when he was fucking you like this, having his way with you in the bed you shared. How couldn’t you be lost in him when your eyes were open he was all you could see?

His scent was dizzying as it mixed with the sweat he’d built up from snapping his hips into yours, he was all you could feel, on you and in you, his grunts, words and the filthy sounds you were making together were all you could hear. Stewy was intoxicating, overwhelming, a sensory overload in the most spectacular way. 

You were pulling on his hair as you felt him hitting that perfect soft spot deep inside of you. Your bundle of nerves was already sensitive from the teasing and your earlier orgasm and you could feel the warmth of another orgasm building. 

Stewy wasn’t clueless about this, he could feel you clenching around him especially as he reached that sensitive spot of yours and you were flooding him in your arousal. Other than the feeling of being buried deep inside of you, Stewy couldn’t think of anything sweeter than the noises of your moan and whimpers and the sounds of the squelches made of him thrusting into you and being met with your juices. 

Stewy continued to pound into you, his thrusts were faster and needier, and he was getting close himself. He pressed some sloppy kisses to your neck that warmed your insides up even more with desire and love for him. Stewy’s lips travelled back to yours and you opened your mouth inviting him in as your tongues and teeth passionately attacked each other. 

The kiss became deeper and deeper, you wrapped your legs tightly around his waist and felt him groan at that against your lips which in turn made you smirk. You two continued to kiss and he started to rub your clitoris with his thumb, you moaned into his mouth at the sweet pressure and slightly writhed under him. 

“That feels so good Stew.” You panted out as the kiss broke for a second and you both panted as he continued to thrust into you while rubbing a circular pattern on your bundle of nerves getting closer to their peak. 

“You feel so good. I love you.” He panted out between moans, as his eyes rolled back at the feeling of your velvety walls clenching around him. 

“I love you too.” You moaned out, as your legs tightened slightly around him and you scratched his back. “I’m, so, so, so close.” 

“Yeah? I can feel that baby. Oh fuck, I want you to come for me, come on my cock baby.” He encouraged as he continued. Kissing along your pulse point, fully knowing that would drive you closer to your climax. 

You moaned out while scratching his back and pulling on his hair as you unravelled from your orgasm. Stewy smirked against your neck and continued to massage your sensitive bundle of nerves and thrust at the same, perfect speed as you chased your orgasm and rode out that high. 

“Thank you, baby, that was so good. I want you to come, to fill me up.” You panted out as you placed a hand to cup his cheek as his hips continued to snap back into yours. 

“Fuck, I’m pretty close.” 

You dug your nails into his back as he felt you clench around him in the most spectacular way as you orgasmed and post that. He began to chase his own high and you knew he was close as his thrusts spread up and the pace was more sporadic than rhythmic. 

After a couple more minutes of thrusts, Stewy grunted and kissed you more desperately than he had all day and finally chased his own climax and finished inside of you. Before he pulled out the kiss changed to a gentle, affectionate one and you lightly combed your hands through his hair and then ran them along his face and jaw as he kissed you like that. 

Stewy kissed your forehead softly and then pulled out to go towards the ensuite to get a washcloth to clean up the mess you had made together. He was so firm but gentle with you. 

After that, he laid in bed again on his back, you were cuddled into his side, with your head on his warm chest feeling almost half asleep. 

“What do you think of marriage now?” Stewy asked interrupting the peaceful post-sex silence. There was an air of playfulness but his voice was softer, quieter, almost sleepy. 

“Pardon?” You shifted slightly off his chest to get a better look at his face. You were certain you’d heard him correctly but you weren’t sure if maybe you’d fully given into sleep and this was gibberish or a dream. 

“We’ve talked about eloping before.” 

“Yeah, yes we have but-” 

“I wasn’t joking.” Stewy said as he gently held your chin between his index finger and his thumb. His voice was still soft but it was a bit firmer now, more serious than tired or playful. You bit your lip unsure of what to say as he continued to look into your eyes with his beautiful, diluted ones. 

“You know what that would entail Stewy. Your career-” 

“I do and-” 

“Stewy.” You rested your chin on his chest looking at him. He could see that you were tired. 

“So you don’t want to marry me right before your brother and Willa? Maybe a day or two after? Get that IUD out, then pop out a few babies. I’ll even be super fucking generous and get a vasectomy.” His tone was more teasing now and you had a feeling the humour wasn’t completely genuine but partially a cover-up of possible hurt. 

“Sweetie, I love you. Can we talk about this tomorrow? Maybe not talk about this ‘post-coitus’.” You offered him a small smile and combed your fingers through his hair, admiring the dark locks and the stunning strands of silver. 

“Yes ma’am.” Stewy nodded and kissed your forehead. You settled back into his chest and it wasn’t long until you had dozed off in his arms and on the comfortable pillow of his chest with the reassuring sound of his heartbeat. 

********

You’d been the only one of your siblings to stay for Connor’s wedding. Weddings were just business opportunities in the world of the Roys, grief couldn’t exist with the market and leadership decisions. You didn’t like how the wedding or death side of that traumatic day went down or how it was handled but unexpected deaths weren’t meant to be convenient or follow logic. 

You were now in your deceased father’s penthouse at his wake, having spent most of the morning hiding in a corner from as many eyes as possible. You’d really only spoken to Connor and Willa, your other siblings were in a sitting room being as business-focused as possible. 

It had been a little while into the Wake and you were with your siblings when Stewy and the Furnesses came in. Connor and Willa had been the easiest to talk to which wasn’t really anything new. Kendall and you occasionally made little remarks to each other and even you and Shiv exchanged some looks over other people’s comments or well, audacity.

You took Stewy’s handsome face in, he looked well-rested and fresh-eyed despite the fact that he’d been up most of the night with grieving you. He was handsomely dressed and groomed as always. You wanted to be held by him again, to leave and be curled up in a ball with him. Normally you two acted amicably when your paths crossed in the Roy world and public like this. But you were too depressed and exhausted for the usual furtive nature. 

He’d hugged and given his condolences to your sister Shiv and then she’d moved on to Sandi. You looked at Stewy and gave him a small smile, he went to give you a hug and a faux kiss on the cheek as he did for Shiv but you needed more than that, you needed him. You genuinely hugged him and pressed your head against his chest, hearing his heartbeat, a firm, undeniable reminder that he was there was always comforting. You didn’t care that your siblings were nearby, it wasn’t an indecent act. 

Stewy couldn’t and wouldn’t say no to affection from you ever, let alone in your state in this context. He reciprocated the genuine hug and you held onto him for maybe a few seconds longer than you should’ve if you wanted to avoid the suspicion of your siblings. 

You pulled away despite never wanting to do and tilted your head to see that he was looking at you warmly, sympathy written all over his eyes. His hands had moved to softly rest on the sides of your arm, the touch was comforting but could easily be perceived and argued as platonic to an onlooker. He had a small, genuine smile on his face as he looked at you. 

“Hey,” he said softly. 

“Hey.” You responded back quietly. You wanted to kiss him, you were almost tempted to and then Kendall was quickly whisking Stewy away. 

You went back to your corner and eventually, you were joined by Kendall and Roman. You saw that Stewy was making his rounds of small talk and his eyes occasionally wandering, searching for you to see where you were and how you were doing. 

“Have you thought about psychoanalysing yourself?” 

“What?” You questioned exhaustedly as your mind was pulled away from stealing glances at Stewy by Roman’s words. 

“That was a bit too touchy with Ken-doll’s boyfriend.” Roman retorted. “I didn’t realise jumping on your brother’s BFF was one of the five stages of grief.” 

“Excuse me?” You now glared at him. 

“Oh, I guess it must be a new one they added in.  Are you gonna get a model named after yourself? Or are you saving the Roy model for something more fucked up?” 

“I’m not doing this Roman.” You sighed in exasperation and walked off to find a glass of wine but were quickly disturbed again. 

“Don’t worry, he doesn’t actually know about you two,” Kendall smirked as he whispered to you. 

“What the fuck Ken?” You jumped at the fright from Kendall, you were grateful that you were still empty-handed or else you’d have stained your outfit if not all of your surroundings from your brotherly jumpscare. Your reaction just made Kendall’s smirk grow. “You knew? But Stewy never told you.” 

“He didn’t. I figured out a while ago that you two were uh…” He dramatically paused for a moment as if he was thinking of the right word with a teasing smirk. “Copulating.” 

“Ken!” You elbowed him softly to try and get him to quieten down. “Why did you never say anything?” You quietly questioned. 

“Well, it was pretty fucking weird at first. He’s not the worst Harvard finance bro out there.” Kendall said with a playful expression. “He keeps you happy-adjacent right?” 

“Yeah, he does. Thank you.” You gave Kendall a tight-lipped but grateful smile. 

“You know, you don’t have to hide it anymore right?” 

You looked up at Kendall, questioning him with your eyes. You and Stewy’s relationship was complicated and you’d say it was pretty healthy despite the furtive nature, it had been that way for everyone’s personal and professional sake. Kendall’s smirk started to slowly slip as he took in your expression. 

“He’s dead.” Kendall spoke softly as you stared into each other’s eyes, he placed his hand on your arm as his face grew more serious. You eyed Kendall trying to find the right words. Sure your father had been part of it but it was a complicated situation with many pieces. 

“I could live with dad icing me out, cutting that relationship. I made peace with what that is a while ago. But-but, it’s when Roman, Shiv, and you. That’s what really hurts.” 

“That’ll be all that Roman says and well Shiv, she’ll only say anything about it behind your back.” 

“So comforting and reassuring.” You dryly said. 

“I’ll send you the invoice for Kendall Roy’s Therapy.” He teased and you both chuckled dryly at that. 

There wasn’t much else to say to that and you knew Kendall wasn’t ready to talk about the bigger problems yet so you gave your brother a tight hug that he quickly reciprocated. You stayed in each other’s arms for a few moments, it was healing and reassuring in a way. 

You then left to sit on a miraculously empty couch as Kendall went off to talk to Roman and Shiv again about company matters you didn’t want to hear about and that they wouldn’t want to discuss in front of you or Connor anyway. As you sat there, Stewy caught your eyes again and this time he finally came over. He sat next to you on the sofa but left a reasonable, person-sized gap between the two of you. 

“Kendall knows, you know.” You quietly state looking at him tiredly, the events of the last 24 hours and your lack of sleep were quickly catching up with you. 

“Well, I’m in private equity not acting baby.” You scoff at that and smile, sinking a little further into the sofa. 

“Perspicuously not in comedy either, babe.” You say with a smile that grows. You tilt your head to look at his expression, his big beautiful eyes are watching you and there’s the cocky smile plastered on his face that you’re in love with. 

“I’ve learnt it’s best to save the wit for the Roys.” He shoots back with a mischievous gleam in his eye. 

Stewy’s here and he’s being cheeky for your sake. You love that about him, his tongue isn’t biting like your siblings but his humour is a way of showing up. 

“Do you want to go on the balcony for a minute?” You questioned. “I want some fresh air.” 

“Yeah, yeah, sure.” He leaned his hand over that empty space of safety between you two to squeeze your hand for a second before you got up and he then followed you. 

He leant against the railing and watched you once you were both out on the much more, pleasantly quiet balcony. 

You laid your head against his chest and wrapped your arms around him, listening to his heart calmly beat as he pressed his chin against the top of your head and exhaled. Stewy’s thumb was tracing reassuring patterns on your arm. He hummed softly for a moment and you could feel the vibration of it on the top of your skull. 

You and Stewy both knew this was a sure way to be caught but neither of you cared in this moment and didn’t care about any of the consequences. They were manageable, they felt minor now and realistically they were. This would shift the family dynamic and having furtive hands with your lover always seemed to you to be in the best interests of Stewy’s career and the dramas between him, Kendall and Waystar. 

You were pretty okay with being out in the open with Stewy and he felt the same way. As the relationship went on, he wanted that more and more. His post-coitus conversation was serious and not a post-orgasm thought. 

“You were serious about eloping before Connor’s wedding weren’t you?” 

“Probably poor taste to say it right now but yes baby, dead serious.” 

You laughed at that and he felt it vibrate against him and it made him smile. He just wanted to bring you a bit of comfort and joy on an awful day like today. 

“I don’t think it’s a bad idea.” 

“Are you saying you want to get eloped?” 

“Well, I was thinking of leaking the story to ATN that Stewy Hosseini is so whipped by the Roys that he gets a vasectomy for one and not the one they’d expect.” You teased, laughing a bit more and he laughed as well. 

“Well, as much as I think we could find you something short to wear as an elopement dress, maybe something fun and scandalous like Sharon Tate’s since you like those old flicks. I don’t think we should leave your dad’s wake to go off and elope, might be the cultural upbringing differences but seems a little rude to me.” Stewy teased, you laughed and kissed him on the lips softly for a moment. 

“How does tomorrow sound?” 

“For an elopement?” “Yeah.” 

“Perfect.” 

#stewy hosseini #stewy hosseini x you #stewy hosseini smut #stewy hosseini imagine #stewy hosseini x reader #stewy hosseini x roy!reader #stewy hosseini x f reader #stewy hosseini fic #stewy hosseini fanfic #stewy hosseini fluff #succession #succession hbo #hbo succession #succession s4 #succession smut #succession roy reader #kendall roy #shiv roy #logan roy #roman roy #siobhan roy #arian moayed #arian moayed fandom #arian moayed characters #arian moayed fanfiction #succession fanfic #succession fanfiction #succession fandom #fanfic #teamstewy

[olderthannetfic]

Hey friend. Well, an apparently a post I made has exploded. And a super friendly person has said that we're anti-ao3 and about censorship because the post was asking people to stop being cruel in bookmarks. I was pleasantly surprised, tbh, by the reception of the post. And then utterly shocked when it sped right past my usual ~50 note count to spread like fire. Right now it's at 14k notes, and while I'm really sad at how many people have said they have had cruel and hurtful comments- the overall reception has been good! A few people didn't know and adjusted their bookmarks. Many people just liked it. But about... 5? People doubled down insisting bookmarks are for readers and we shouldn't tell them how to use them. It's utterly baffling- the willful misunderstanding of the request. But this last one is accusing us of censorship and you know? I figured I'd reach out to accounts more used to handling this shit. So I'm talking to you, as you're quite level headed in the discourse I've read. Whether or not bookmarks are for readers... is really a moot point, isn't it? But asking them not to be cruel in their notes, as we are, is it truly so unreasonable? (Horribly optimistic, I know, but asking doesn't harm.)

--

Well... I think it's really a question of what "cruel" means to you, you know?

For me, direct insults to the author are too cruel. I'm talking stuff like "This stupid cunt can't write." Insult insults against their actual person, not just "I think this fic was poorly written". Threats are, of course, not acceptable.

I've been sent your post already, and I don't think I entirely agree with how you see bookmarks. Perhaps the tone of the pushback put your back up a bit, but underneath all that is a legitimate fundamental disagreement about what bookmarks are for and how much concrit or negativity should be visible publicly.

My view is that a very high level of concrit and even negative reviewing is fine in public... But not in the author's space.

The author's space is the comments on their fic, comments or reblogs on their posts, their email, etc. Basically, places you know will directly send the author notifications or emails to their inbox are places you post when you want to shove your comment in the author's eyeballs. I think unsolicited concrit and/or negative reviews are undesirable in such places.

Now, bookmarks on AO3, bookmarks on pinboard, recs posts on tumblr, recs communities on Dreamwidth, and the like are not the author's space. They're readers' spaces to discuss what they thought. It's true that sometimes what readers think hurts to hear. That's a good reason for authors to be careful about looking.

I do think that some AO3 users don't realize their bookmarks are public by default, and for them, a post like that is a good reminder.

But for others who are just using the bookmarks as fanfic Goodreads... that's what the bookmarking feature is for, and they're not doing anything incorrect.

So, again, does "cruel" mean insulting the author as a person, calling them rude words and slurs? Or does "cruel" mean bookmarking them with "1/5 stars, DNF, needs SPAG edit"?

AO3 has had an increased bullying problem in recent years, so I can well believe that people are getting bookmarks I too would consider cruel, full of personal attacks and anti bullshit. But I also see a lot of people calling "1/5 stars" cruel, and I'd consider that fair game and useful to other readers.

--

But as for the virality part, it will probably die down before too long. Most people won't remember that you're the OP of that post or have any particular association with your username from it. Anything that involves feedback for fic or AO3 itself tends to make the rounds like wildfire and people have a lot of passionate opinions.

I think the worst thing you can do is get defensive. If most of the replies are agreeing with you already, it's kind of petty to be really upset about the 5 that aren't. Being petty tends to attract more wank than just going "Whatever. I've thought through my philosophy, and I'm sticking to it."

[notquitecogent]

Year End Fic Review

year end fic review!

tagged by @luuver3 & @alittleillusionmachine

1. what is your ao3 account?

notquitecogent

2. how many words did you write in total in 2022?

14,874. I only started writing in September though.

3. how many fics did you publish in 2022? how many multi chapters vs one shots?

four – two one-shots and two two-shots. i'd like to give multi-chap a go but i don't think i have the patience?? i prefer to write little self-contained snippet-y things.

4. what was your longest fic? your shortest fic?

longest complete is netflix and thrill, but two nights will be longer once i finish part two. shortest is look me in the eye (tell me i'm the one).

5. what was your most popular fic? what was your least popular fic?

by number of hits is netflix and thrill, most popular by kudos and bookmarks is baby i'm yours now (dreaming a connection). least popular is two nights.

6. what fic didn't perform as well as you thought it would?

i didn't think any of them would perform well, so they all exceeded my expectations.

7. what fic performed way better than you thought it would?

all of them! look me in the eye (tell me i'm the one) has had really good feedback - much better than i thought it would. i love it when commenters tell me their favourite lines, and everyone seemed to have a different one for that fic. baby i'm yours now (dreaming a connection) also got a lot of bookmarks and i was so flattered by that.

8. what was your favourite fic you wrote from 2022?

the first one: baby i'm yours now (dreaming a connection). i wrote it really quickly for @majicmarker – it's a different style than i usually do and i just really felt connected to eddie's POV.

9. what was your favorite fic that somebody else wrote in 2022?

there are like five million. there are so many incredible writers for the ships i love, and for that i am extremely grateful! here is a by-no-means-exhaustive rec list: for stranger things/hellcheer: teen beat by @floggingink (god-tier literary masterpiece. i honestly feel like i'm not even smart enough to fully appreciate how good it is) reality and other highs by @chrissy-n-eddie voted most likely to run away with you by @blondiest it's nice to have a friend by @cunnninghams marigold by @hangon-silvergirl dirtbag and sick part of a sick thing by @bettsfic to get my soul known again by @staceymcgillicuddy someone reaching back for me and what a lovely way to burn by @enoughtotemptme if we don't leave this town (we might never make it out) by @astorytotellyourfriends baby, then you're in luck by @majicmarker (the GOAT of demisexual Eddie) and it will take a while (to make you smile) by Ao3 user shroomyystar for euphoria/fexi: folsom prison blues by Ao3 user blu1376 (one of the first and an absolute classic of the fexi genre) and no drugs for lexi howard, bye by @changeyourwholepitch everything nice by @actnatural-ly a thrill beyond compare by @stannisfactions (i also loved the fic where lexi is a therapist with about a million ethics violations but i think it got deleted) orange peel by @charmtion one that really screams and sore must be the storm by @shesonlylittle time is on my side by @wrylywriting pick up from the last place by Ao3 user gigi_originally velveteen rabbit by Ao3 user pastaslut knew you'd linger by Ao3 user crookedqueen with lovers and friends, i can still recall by Ao3 user ScarlettWoman710

10. tag your friends to do this year-end fic review as well! I think everyone has been tagged but if you haven't go right ahead!!

#fic year in review #hellcheer fic recs #fexi fic recs #my fic

[blasphemous-lies-and-deceit]

20 Questions for Fic Writers

Tagged by @ollieofthebeholder

How many works do you have on Ao3? 65

What’s your total Ao3 word count? 905,117. That's...more than I thought

What fandoms do you write for? Currently TMA, previously RT/AH, the X-Men alternate timeline movies, Good Omens and a few other fandoms

What are your top five fics by kudos? Awake and Unafraid, Cold as Cryospace, Beauty of a Secret, Put Your Mouth Where Your Money Is, and Borderline

Do you respond to comments? Very rarely, because I am still kinda shy and not at all good at responding to positive feedback or kind words (besides just keysmashing)

What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? You know, as much as I love some good angst, I don't really do angsty endings. I think the closest is A Snowy Night just because it was prequel to canon so it couldn't end without separation

What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? They've all mostly got happy endings. Best I'd say is Awake and Unafraid

Do you get hate on fics? If I ever did I don't remember it. If I did I deleted the comment because I'm not dealing with that shit

.Do you write smut? If so, what kind? The very slow kind, because it takes me forever to write smut. Like I'm fighting for every damn word.

.Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written? Outing myself as 2013 tumblr cringe, but I wrote a Loki/Sherlock crossover series long before Bendy Cumby was cast as Doctor Strange. It was fun

Have you ever had a fic stolen? Don't think so

Have you ever had a fic translated? No one's ever asked me, so idk

Have you ever co-written a fic before? In high school I did hand-written RP with a few friends, but that's it.

What’s your all time favorite ship? Hard to say all time favorite because I love them all equally. Right now its GerryMichael but JonMartin are still very dear to me

What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? Besides my active WIPS I need to finish my TMA/Addams Family crossover or my beta will kill me

What are your writing strengths? Once I get a character's cadence in my head I can write their dialogue pretty accurately. Also I've unlocked the great writing secret of "I will write what I want to write" which helps sometimes when I get stuck or can't commit to a fic direction. Also when I have shit writing and need to fix it, I don't feel guilty about changing what I wrote to something better.

What are your writing weaknesses? Shit writing. When I put the words on the page and it doesn't read the way I want and is missing my personal touch. Editing that is a bitch.

Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic? I've made that mistake before when I was younger. Now I'd maybe reach out to a native speaker before trying google translate, because my personal standards are higher and because google is shit these days

First fandom you wrote for? I think it was the Fullmetal Alchemist 2003 anime. Something for an ex friend

Favorite fic you’ve written? Awake and Unafraid my beloved. Because I'm deeply proud of it, both the story itself and all the details I worked into it. Its the longest thing I've written, has the highest hits and kudos, and most importantly, its the fic that I wanted to write and it turned out beautifully.

Tagging @moonisthedoor, @pitviperofdoom @robyn-i-guess and anyone else who wants to participate

[i-like-the-eyes]

Hi love! For the writer asks😘😘:

💫what is your favorite kind of comment/feedback?

🌿how does creating make you feel?

💞what's the most important part of a story for you? the plot, the characters, the worldbuilding, the technical stuff (grammar etc), the figurative language

🍭why did you start writing?

💌share something with us about an up-and-coming work (WIP) that has you excited!

💫- I love to hear which specific line(s)/moment(s) the reader enjoyed most and their thoughts about it. Or just what they liked in general. Also love to hear theories about what they think might happen next or why a certain thing happend.

🌿 - Makes me feel alive and whole. It's energy flowing and I love it! My brain has all these things in it that want out! Creating makes me feel at peace.

💞- Plot and characters. I'm not the best at world building and I don't know too much about techniques - I just do things. That's all I need to know xD

🍭- I've written fic some years before. For a rather popular ship even but I didn't get much comments (even got a mean one right at the start - bit of a bummer) and in the end I just lost interest in the story and never got really far with it anyways.

When I got back into writing this year it was all a bit different. I had the (rough)story stuck in my head for months before I started writing and I've been obsessed with the Corinthian for quite a while (and still am) so I started writing down that little story of mine called "Lowered Shades".

And it has kinda taken over my life. I'm spending a lot of my free time writing and even though we've already reached 100k words - the story is faaaar from over.

My story is not popular. I'm mainly writing for myself and a few friends. But I'm having a blast!

💌- Well...I mainly have that one fic but I've recently started a super hero AU of that fic - it's called "Demonic Nightmare". But tbh...I'd rather share a fact about the next chapter of "Lowered Shades": There will be drama and a nightmare going to IKEA.

#ask #writer ask #writer asks

[pyroweasel]

🤡🎢✨⛔💖💌❌👀🤲

🤡 (What's a line, scene, or exchange you've written that made you laugh?)

I'll share this WIP line that will probably never see the light of day. You kind of need to know to appreciate it, maybe, but it still kind of makes me laugh. **"Don't fucking touch me - filthy little - do you ever bathe?” 

"I try not to," Peep chirps, and then with a fresh grin they reach both hands out in Hazel's direction - making grabbing motions as if threatening to touch his face."** 🎢 (Which of your fics would you call your wildest ride?) Had To Be You, hands down. Mostly because it would so wildly fluctuate from 'this part is so easy let me publish four chapters in a row' to 'I've taken two months to finish this chapter and I still hate it.' It was a good time over all but boy was it a ride to get through. ✨ (Give you and your writing a compliment. Go on now. You know you deserve it. 😉) I already did one do I have to do another...(jkjk) I think my long/run-on sentences are pretty well-crafted and tend to add exactly the sort of punch/affect I'm trying to manage. ⛔ (Do you have a fic you started, but scrapped?) Oh I have so many of these. I wouldn't even try to list them, but I'll highlight one of my personal favorites. I once had a fic planned that was essentially Addison being assigned Captain on this massive ship who's sole purpose was to transport "precious cargo." Spoiler alert, the cargo was an imprisoned Trep. It was very saucy, very much meant to highlight Trep's abilities as an Imp and was not necessarily destined for a good ending. It would have been fun, I think.

💖 (What made you start writing?) I couldn't tell you, honestly. I've been writing since I was a kid, since before I even remember doing it. We still have one of the first 'books' I ever wrote. What I can say is it's just...everything to me. It's a distraction. It's soothing. It's a way for me to connect with my partner and my friends. When I'm really sad, or really happy, or hell I'll say it even horny, writing is there, you know? I can do anything I want in there. I can write anything I want. I can bring these characters that mean everything to me to life in my own words. I can put them through hell, or get them comfort, or find them love. I can explore the world's brightest themes, and its darkest. I don't know. It's how I get all the things inside out. I don't really have any other creative pursuits that I feel like I'm good enough at to do that, so writing is the way. 💌 (How do you feel about comments and feedback?) I love comments. I love to know what I did right, what resonated, what people are thinking about what could happen next. I also love expressions of joy/enjoyment like keysmashes and such. I'm sensitive to criticism though, even well-meaning criticism, which is purely a me issue but can make getting feedback/comments kind of stressful sometimes. Especially when I'm nervous about a write to begin with.

❌ (What's a trope you will never write?) Never is a strong word because there have been times I've dabbled in things I thought I'd never dabble in. And I honestly can't think of any specific one right now that makes me thing 'ew no never.' I don't enjoy most things centering around pregnancy, though. Little cute moments with pregnant characters is one thing, but I don't like to focus on it much. 👀 (Tell me about an up and coming wip please!)

I have so many WIPs....a few fan favorites in the works are more chapters for the reincarnation AU for Hazing, Fable finally gets to meet Keet's pets, that one chapter for To The Left where these two finally get down, and a scattering of other hazing stuff. 🤲 (Would you please share a snippet of a wip?)

Okay...let me dig one up here. **Home, he thinks - spitting the word in his mind even as his feet turn in its direction. A tiny townhouse he doesn't know the first thing about fixing. A ratty bed, a shitty TV, a computer that barely connects most of the time. The self-inflicted bare minimum because it has never really been his home - only a place for his pets. A place to land when he wanted to rest because where the hell else was he supposed to go? 

It's not his home, he thinks - bitter, angry, aching. 

It's not his home, he thinks - paused outside, glaring up at the shingles and the brick. Humans pass around him - souls whispering at a distance, arching briefly in his direction until they're far enough away to snap free. Busy, loud, and something stings at his eyes. 

"Keet?" 

He starts, turns, and there's Fable. This silly little human who resists his pull but somehow keeps finding him anyway. Who'd held him at his worst, and called themself his friend, and who's here now, again. Standing near his apartment, watching him with a turned head and a curious stare. 

"Are you alright?" 

Keet opens his mouth to answer - closes it again - and then finally, after a second, he says instead,

"What are you doing here?"**

#ask game #5amanthus

[ygodmyy20]

1, 2, 5, 17, 18, 21, 22 (wildcard), 35, and 38, please?

Ahh okay finally getting around to this haha thanks Texas, this was fun!!

Describe your comfort zone—a typical you-fic.

Man I think...I do often gravitate towards more intense emotions in fics. I think because I don't express them often in real life andI like working through complex emotions through characters. Which means I can lean towards more dramatic situations. I also really enjoy writing sharp and fast-paced scenes. I always think back to when I did a writers workshop in HS and that was a common feedback from people so I leaned into it.

Is there a trope you’ve yet to try your hand at, but really want to?

Most of my fics are ship fics, but I would love to explore and write more platonic but still complex, relationship fics. I think that is why the Mob Psycho 100 ageswap AU is really getting in my brain because it is really about Ritsu and Mob's relationship, and their own relationships with themselves. And I love exploring that and want to see what I can do!

Share one of your strengths

I do really like writing action/fast paced things. I like to hope that comes across to the reader as sharp, fast and the flow of the scene matches how they read it. I hope at least!

Do you write your story from start to finish, or do you write the scenes out of order?

Hmm kinda both. I almost always start at the start but I usually (because the scene or part of the story is so intense or pivotal) I may write that climax scene early on. It's also been ages since I wrote a long fic so it's been awhile.

Do you use any tools, like worksheets or outlines?

Nope, I just use google docs haha

How many times do you usually revise your fic/chapter before posting?

God too many times or too little hahaha I never feel like I edit enough or I feel like I over edit.

Choose a passage from one of your earlier fics and edit it into your current writing style.

Oh jeez haha let me dig something up. This is from my very old fic Shadows that maybe with this renewed urge to write again I'll rework and post to ao3. I never quite finished it.

“Yugi,” Yami cried, lips drawn back, tears brimming the corners of his eyes. “For the love of god, I can't kill you, I can't.”

Yugi felt it. The knot in his chest that threatened to come undone. He was going to choke on it as it wound its way around his insides. He heaved in a sharp breath, fingers shaking as they gently grasped Yami’s that sat on his shoulders. “No…something inside me is telling me…I can't leave.”

Yami shook his head, about to shout a response but stopped short, ice cold dread washing over him. He hesitated, red eyes wide, before reaching inward. The dread he was feeling…wasn’t his…

The Shadows stopped pressing at his mind and were now hovering at the back of his thoughts. 

Apprehensive.

Suddenly they snapped, a shrill shriek echoing through Yami’s head and before he could retaliate they yanked his spirit into the further corner of his mind. Yami gasped, his soul reaching forward to keep himself awake, present. He had to fight against them, Yugi was too close. He couldn’t hurt him!

Yugi gasped as Yami's face changed to that of a snarl and he reared back, the Shadows behind him poised to strike. The energy around the other sharpened into an inky black, licking around his shoulders.

“You light,” they hissed through Yami’s mouth, eyes black. “Will perish.”

Yugi pressed himself back into the wall, heaving in a hollow breath. Light? What—what are they–?

Black energy darted forward and in a snap, the air was driven from Yugi’s lungs. He choked, blood and bile clawing up his throat as the tendril dug further into his chest. He glanced down slowly, the air caught in his throat as the tight yearning knot deep inside him came undone and the world went white. 

Would you ever kill off a canon character?

Well the above snippet may not match my answer here haha Maybe in a WIP or something in my head, but I'd never put it to paper. It would make me too sad.

So spolier for the above bit hahaha Yugi is probably not dead.

Talk about a review that made your day.

Oh my goodness, the reviews on my mop psycho 100 fics have been just amazing! Every single one gives me so much joy! But I think one that made my heart flutter was someone said that my Teru/Mob confession was one of their favorites and I'm still like "omg there are so many amazing Teru/Mob fics, thank you so much" as I die into a puddle. I just still can't, it just makes me heart so happy.

#this was fun! I really enjoyed pulling out that old fic bit #and rewriting it #I think my style is still very similar #but it was cool to do #and also makes me thing hey #maybe I got more going for me in fanfics that I realized #I do have a lot of ideas #anyway #this was enjoyable! Thanks texas! #puzzleshipping #ygo #yugioh #mob psycho 100 #mp100 #fanfic response thing haha

[fonulyn]

My turn, my turn, my turn.

1: Which fic did you finish and go, "Well, I didn't see that one coming"?

2: Which fic were you surprised did as well as it did?

3: Which fic did you feel sad to finish?

oh fun! :D

lol okay i (surprisingly) couldn't pick just one so here's my top contenders and my reasoning for them.

heal the scars and change the stars (Piers/Leon, getting back together, near death for Leon but what else is new :'D) lmao this one came to me in a dream, i literally woke up all "okay then" and had to then work it into a bit more coherent thing, but it ate at me until i did so. but yeah didn't see it coming, my subconsciousness cooked it up from somewhere lol.

also life healed like a wound (we will be alright) (Piers/Leon, breaking up and getting back together) was a similar thing, I woke up one morning with the breakup scene seared into my brain and I just had to write it. but of course I couldn't let them be unhappy so i also had to fix it! i thought i'd write a couple of fics for this pairing, but somehow it ended up taking over my heart in a storm. now this series has over 100k words and i've written like a hundred fics of the pair so :'D we all see how that turned out.

my jaded heart is yours to poison with your flame (Krauser/Leon, DC-ish) was also something similar, I played Darkside Chronicles with my brother and I thought I'd just write one quick fic to get the pairing out of my system :'D surprise, lmao, to this day it remains one of my top fave pairings :'D

there are others, too, that I never thought I'd write but somehow did. the Chris/Wesker smut, it's not a pairing I'd be particularly into but the fic demanded to happen, or the Adam/Leon companion piece for Tir's fic that I legit still don't understand where it came from :'D, or the monsterfucking series considering I thought I'd forever be too chickenshit to write any of it, or the Krauser's back series I firmly thought would be just one fic but turned into a trilogy :'D

or last chance garage (ot3 retirement fic lol) that was supposed to only be a quick 2k at most, but turned into 8k somehow before letting me go. not complaining, i think it turned good, but it wasn't exactly the intention lol.

2. the angsty answer is that the ones i desperately want to do well never seem to, and then the ones that actually do well are some random things i just threw out there lol. the less angsty answers are:

outside of the RE fandom I'm legit surprised that nobody's perfect (TOG, mostly a group fic tbh) got so popular, it's a feelgood "I think I'm funny" kind of fic lmao and it's got almost twice the kudos to the next most kudosed fic of mine. i mean it was fun to write, it still makes me smile, but i thought some of the more serious fics i put much more thought into would be better received :'D not complaining, it's nice that the feelgood fic did well. another one i'm surprised about is the super old kpop fic (Resurgence) that I reposted on ao3 on request, because holy shit i've never gotten that many comments ever. not even when I was actively in that fandom.

in the RE fandom I'm mostly surprised that now drunk on lust I drown in you (forever within I'm lost in you) (Chris/Leon, get together pwp) was as popular as it was. it was supposed to be a quick short pwp, it ran away from me, and i guess that's a good thing :'D also my first fic in this fandom, we didn't know how to fly so high (burned down before we reached the sky) (Chris/Leon, getting back together, idk what else random tropes), i... when I posted the first chapter it got exactly one comment and I thought "oh well, might as well finish anyway" and it was supposed to be my first and last RE fic. but looking back at it now? it's accumulated quite a nice amount of feedback over the years, which is nice :)

also the Leon has a son, surprise! -series did surprisingly well lol especially since the second part has an OC-centric pairing.

3. short answer is none, really, because i'm in general always happy when I get something done and finish a story! it's such a nice feeling of accomplishment when i can look at a complete fic and let it be free.

but I suppose that when I'll finally wrap up the self-indulgent series it'll be a bittersweet moment and i'll be sad to let it go. although right now i've been stalling with it anyway. feelings are complicated. but yeah, that series has been a part of my life for so long it'll require some mourning when it's gone.

#thanks for the ask :D #lol it's kinda nostalgic #looking at old fics #me and my fics #ask and i shall answer #attackpoodle

[sleepstxtic]

🌈🎀🧿 for the really cool writer ask game please! p.s. SO EXCITED for that women of house black fic, that snippet! that premise! narcissa and drarry!!!

Thank you so much!! I am so excited too! There is so much I want to say but I will save it for the fic itself. But in the meantime, thank you so much for the questions!! ❤️❤️

🌈 is there a fic that you worked *really fucking hard on* that no one would ever know? maybe a scene/theme you struggled with?

I'm so glad you asked this because yes, there is! And in fact, I am finally getting done with it in time for @harrypocter's festival of colours fest! So I can't reveal too much about what it is, BUT, the thing I struggled with the most is getting the representation right.

I started this fic sometime last year as one of the first ever things I wrote, but discontinued it because it was getting too big of a project. Not length-wise, I just felt out of my depth. It's a story set in India, and the thing about this country is that it isn't homogenous. It's diverse, and everyone belongs to different communities/castes. And some communities have, historically, oppressed other communities, the socio-economic effects of which are still extremely prevalent today. So when you're attempting to tell stories that come from outside your community, there is an obligation to get it right - especially when the power dynamics of caste come into play.

The story isn't my story, it's an adaptation and I will be crediting the original one, but I've been taking a lot of pains to ensure that I get it right. I may make mistakes (although I sincerely hope I have not) and I'd also like to disclaimer this by saying the research that has to be put in when taking from stories outside one's community, and crediting the community for it, is the bare minimum that everyone should do. (Along with, of course, not profiting off of it - hello elephant whisperers). So yes!! That is something that I'd been struggling with, and I thought no one would get to see it, but now they are, and I'm really excited about it <3

🎀give yourself a compliment about your own writing

This is so sweet gahhh thank you!! One thing I really enjoy about writing is the ideation that comes before it. I've found that I'm very quick to identify stories. I feel like the world is full of stories - in academia, in sports, in activism, in law etc etc etc. I have the "oh this would make a great story" thought so many times a day (hence my ever-growing pile of plunnies) and I love that that is something I can do!

🧿what steps do you take to not take things personally if a fic doesn't do well, or if your writing/posting/sharing experience isn't going how you'd like it to?

This is a really interesting question! I used to write with the objective of reaching as many people and getting as much feedback as possible. That has faded over time, which is why I'm branching out more into gen fic and rarepairs and things like that. But also! I cannot deny that I enjoy engagement and all the wonderfully kind comments people leave me. They make my day! And I'm privileged enough that almost all my fics have done reasonably well in terms of the sharing experience.

But even if a fic doesn't do well, it's balanced out by the feedback I get from all my wonderful betas. Particularly you and @nanneramma!! And your feedback is especially special to me because of how much I respect and admire and love both you and your writing! That kind of gives me the satisfaction of having written something good, even if it doesn't do "well" as such. I also reread my work a lot, and if I come across a particular line or phrase that I really like, that definitely boosts my confidence.

I don't really have a set of rules or habits that I fall back on when a fic doesn't do well. I kind of just take it in stride and focus on the next one? The best part of writing is writing, and soon, I'm so immersed in writing the next fic and enjoying the process that I forget to feel bad about the previous one not doing too well.

This is a wonderful community and people are always cheering on other people and I always feel like there's so much love to go around! So that's mostly how I deal with it all.

Thank you so much for the asks!! <3

#leftsidedown asks #sleepstxtic rambles #sleepstxtic asks

[explosionshark]

Hi! It's me, writing advice seeking anon, again. First off all, I just wanted to say thank you so much for taking the time to give me such awesome and kind and helpful advice!! I'm an awkward and super shy noodle and reaching out to people is hard, but I definitely need to start commenting more on fics I love. You writers have certainly earned it, I just need to get brave enough to do it! I definitely owe you comments on your fic, and you'll be getting those very soon! And not just because you said to, but because I have been meaning to but just kept putting it off cause talking to people is kinda scary haha. Thank you for your lovely work!! I also really like the idea that finished is better than perfect will ever be. I'm definitely a perfectionist and keep holding onto all these half-finished fics I have and never sharing because I can't get them exactly how I want, so I definitely needed that advice. If you don't mind, I had one more question for you. Do you think there's a place for trans non-binary Buffy fics in this fandom? I won't fill your inbox with my Buffy Summers + gender identity head canons (unless you want that? cause then I'm super excited to share!) so to keep it simple, whether it fits in canon or is a complete AU, do you think you and other people would read nb Buffy + their gf Faith fics? At least half of my writing contains trans Buffy, and I'm not sure how that will be received, and it makes it a little scarier to share. Being non-binary myself, these stories are deeply connected to and parts of me, they pull from parts of my own experiences, and they're ways for me to write about the characters I love (and the parts of myself I see in the characters I love) which is extra special to me as someone who can't come out irl currently. On the flip side of that coin, it makes rejection even scarier, which makes posting harder, and makes me wanna keep all my stories locked up tight, just in case they aren't received well. Still, I think I'd enjoy sharing my writing if there are other people out there besides myself who are interested and who also would enjoy reading about two of our favorite characters being in love and exploring gender identity, and so I appreciate your honest thoughts and feedback!

Hey! Sorry for the late response, I had a rough week and didn't have time to get to this.

Going to put this under a cut because my answer got long but tl;dr - Yes, write and post the fic if you want to share it! I think it's worthwhile. But be careful about attaching too much of your own confidence and self worth to how a bunch of strangers in fandom receive anything you create.

More details under here:

I absolutely, 100% believe there's a space for trans/nb fics in this fandom, with any character. The cool thing about writing is you don't need anyone's permission - you can just do what you want. You can do whatever! It's the best!

And it's perfectly normal to put some of yourself into the writing - it makes sense that you're more invested and the work feels more personal when you're drawing from your own life and experiences. I think that's pretty par for the course for most writers. What I do want to discourage is feeling rejected personally for the way your fic may or may not be received.

I think you might have some ideas about what "success" looks like in the fic community and it would probably be good to reframe that. Any time you get to engage with another fan about your work in a way that's positive for you both, should be the baseline for your success. If that's a few kudos, or some good comments, or number of hits, or people sending you nice asks about it, or private messages - all of that should be success. Having your work available on a platform for anyone to read and feeling good about the work you put into it - that should be success.

Popularity should not be regarded as success because there's a bunch of different factors at play in how popular a fic or a writer becomes in a given space. Quality of writing is only one: the content of the story having a broad appeal or a niche one, the number of active fans at the time, and a bunch of other things also play a role.

Part of the reason I recommend getting into the habit of being an active reviewer and engaging with fans under a consistent name is that if you're looking to build an audience you have to become a known quantity. I'm not a hugely popular writer, in terms of sheer numbers, but I've been at it with this handle for a while and I'm active in the fandom. I've had people read my work because they like me in other fandoms, because I left them thoughtful feedback, because we struck up a friendship unrelated to what I'm writing and they got curious.

Don't take lack of a big audience to mean your work isn't good. Some of my favorite things I've ever written have barely any reviews - because I was writing in a dead fandom, or for a ship no one cares about, or regarding a subject no one else was really interested in. That's fine. That doesn't mean the work was bad. If you go into this specifically looking for outside validation or to become a BNF out the gate, you're gonna make yourself crazy.

That said, I understand how writing about trans interpretations of a character makes you nervous. I've only been active in this fandom for about a year - I've meet cool trans and non-binary people through it and I haven't seen much harassment on any grounds (but I'm also very much experiencing the fandom in a bubble). I've seen other nb character fics in the fandom, so you're definitely not alone. Your fic is absolutely worth writing and it's worth sharing - but please don't assess the validity or the importance or the worth of what you're doing base on how much interest a bunch of cis people have in the concept.

If you're worried about harassment or negative reception, ao3 has a few tools to help. You can turn off anonymous comments, forcing commenters to be logged in. Any logged in users can be blocked. You can also use comment moderation, which means you have to approve every comment before they show up on the website.

I am a cis lesbian and none of my fics are particularly challenging to popular fanon that's existed for decades. They've been well received because the subject matter appeals to a broad audience. I'm also not especially close to the stories, in the way you're describing - I have fun writing them, I want the work to be good so I can be understood as a capable writer, but I wouldn't say I'm engaging with anything in myself that's especially personal or intimate that I'm afraid of rejection for.

All of the advice I can give is going to be impacted by and limited by these aspects of myself.

But with that as a disclaimer, I hope I haven't discouraged you. I want you to get out there and post your fic and have a good experience in this fandom! I think there are people who would really value what you want to do. I can't guarantee you anything, but I think if it's something you clearly want to do, that you're passionate about, that's all the reason you need to go for it.

Best of luck! Take care!

#replies #writing advice anon

[pumpkinpyre]

Hiya! Thanks for responding to my DDDNE poll! You’re not the first person to flag that “so don’t complain” reads as snarky or derogatory or rude, but (fascinatingly) this comment has only been present over the last couple of days of reblogs, which I find super interesting! (I was hella constrained by the character limit on this option, obvs.) I have a couple follow up questions for you, if you are willing to answer: what fandom(s) do you tend to encounter DDDNE in? How long have you been involved in internet-based fandom spaces? Also if you have any more thoughts on the poll structure or the nature of DDDNE as a tag, I would love to hear them! Have a great day!

Oh, hello! I appreciate your receptiveness to feedback, even if being contacted has caught me completely off guard LOL

Yeah, character limits are a pain, but that is pretty interesting that people have only said anything about that after a certain amount of time. I wonder if that's because it reached a certain circle of fandom? Which probably explains your next couple questions actually :V

Honestly I'm not sure how much info you can get from me because it's been quite awhile since I've gone looking for fics. I can get pretty picky about the writing I want to read and give up scrolling through AO3 pages pretty quickly 😅

I've been in and out of various fandom spaces since I was like. In middle school. And I don't want to do the math but I graduated high school in 2007 so that gives you a rough idea. Interestingly enough, DDDNE wasn't really much of a thing; I honestly didn't really encounter it as a use for a tagging system until after I joined tumblr in around 2015-16 (because Undertale). Though largely I've been more involved in the role play side of things instead of the fanfic/fanart, so there's not a whole lot of tagging done to begin with. Last time I was big into the fic/art was.. I don't remember the years but whenever tf2chan was seeing some of its higher activity. Early 2010s, maybe? The stuff I was Huge into before that predates Arrested Development, with only a little bit of overlap. Oh there's also MLP:FiM but I read most of that on their own websites, not AO3. Different categorization systems.

You know, now that I'm sitting down and really trying to remember, I feel like I've encountered DDDNE as more of a descriptor than as use as a tag itself. That might be coloring my thoughts on it. I've read plenty of fics that sure fit DDDNE criteria, but weren't tagged with the phrase. A couple I can remember would be from Team Fortress 2, Undertale, My Little Pony, and Jak and Daxter. Like I'd call the Cupcakes MLP fic DDDNE but I don't think it was ever tagged as such.

hmu if you'd like to know anything else! And you have a good day, too!

#aurorasulphur

[shannyh25]

i'd say for fanfiction, the aogg fandom peaked back in 2020 when anne with an e saw a burst of popularity, so getting a ton of feedback isn't as easy as it would have been back then, because the fandom is smaller now and less people are looking for shirbert fanfiction (at least on ao3, i don't use ff.net)

but honestly, the best part of writing fic is feeling proud of yourself and what you wrote, so i'd say write what you want to write, regardless of how many reviews or kudos or hits it gets! if you post regularly enough you could gain a loyal audience for your fic, and it's always nice to have the same few people leaving comments every chapter.

i'd say the best ways to keep someone reading your fic is to

have good formatting. if a fic on ao3 doesn't have the correct spacing (if everything is one giant paragraph) i immediately click off. also things like changing character povs multiple times within one scene almost always feel amateurish. a good general rule of thumb is to try and replicate how a real, published book works; you can break the rules if you want to of course, because this is fanfic and not published fiction, but the most popular and well-written fics tend to have decent formatting

have decent grammar. you don't need to catch everything, but if a fic has too many errors, it can pull me out of the experience. if i like the concept enough i'll continue reading it, but i know for some people too many typos etc. makes them click off

have some sort of schedule for posting. i feel like people do it less now, but it is nice when there's a fic you love and the author says they'll update on tuesdays and thursdays, because you know you won't have to wait a super long time between chapters. it's absolutely not necessary but it's helpful when building an audience

i hope this helps!

Hi There!!

I can’t remember if I reached out to you first! I think I did! I appreciate you getting back to me! Thank you!!

Those tips you left were great ones!!

1) I usually type up my chapters on my phone! Then I email them to my account and I use Microsoft Word! I usually post on both Fan Fiction and AO3! I usually don’t write in POV’s. I do sometimes, but not to often. When I do, I usually try to stick to at least one POV which would be like the main character! Every once in awhile, I’ll switch to the second POv which would be the other main character! I never thought to look at how a real publisher book would look like. ThT a very good point and I’ll definitely keep that in mind!!! Now when you say format, do you mean how the writing looks or what type of format do you write in? Like, I use Microsoft Word.

2) I do have someone double check my spelling because I am a horrible speller! I try to write and use the right grammar to!, My writing style is definitely not the strongest, so that’s why I was asking for tips and advice! I also use spell check to!

3) I have always been so bad at posting!!!! I want to fix that though! How many times do people usually post or update there stories? Like once or twice a week? That’s a goal I want to write on as well!!!

Thank you so much for the feedback and advice!!! Do you mind if I ask you a question about an Anne Of Green Gables fan fiction I’m trying to write?

#writting advice #writing tips #writting fan fiction tips #writing fanfic

[eveenstar]

I saw some fanfiction going around that barely reached 5 notes per chapter and the author kept writing more and more chapters and boy lemme tell you those kind of writers deserve the world. Imagine having the motivation to keep writing something without getting any feedback, I could never

#please teach me your ways #honestly it does make me kinda sad bc most of my followers are probably from dbd #and rdr2 and those aren't my main fandoms anymore #and also most of my fics don't reach the feedback I thought I'd get and gosh it's hard to keep writing them #like I know I'm suppose to write to myself only but I feel like I'm publishing them for ghosts #I planned a whole plot for the Across the Realities fic series and it's kinda disappointing I didn't get the feedback I thought it would get #hope I'm not sounding selfish?? #well anyways #writer's community #writer things #fanfiction rant #star wars fanfiction #marvel fanfiction

[mysticpetals]

Farewell, sunshine

𝙋𝙖𝙞𝙧𝙞𝙣𝙜: Jake × f!mc (Syianne)

𝙂𝙚𝙣𝙧𝙚: angst, a sprinkle of fluff

𝙒𝙤𝙧𝙙 𝙘𝙤𝙪𝙣𝙩: 4.9k (oof)

𝙎𝙪𝙢𝙢𝙖𝙧𝙮: All Jake ever wanted was to find his sister and protect the person who had helped him more than anyone. Only, he slowly began to realise that bringing Syianne into this had caused more harm than good.

𝙒𝙖𝙧𝙣𝙞𝙣𝙜𝙨: mentions of blood, physical attack, violence, hospitals, medical coma, panic attack.

𝙋𝙧𝙤𝙢𝙥𝙩𝙨: Anonymous asked: 5. “Wake up! Please wake up.” MC and Jake finally get to meet for the first time, but everything is heavily dipped in angst. 😂 Also I adore your writing and keep up the good work!

Anonymous asked: Can you give us the most angsty jealous filled over protective short with Jake x MC i want all the ANGST to be seeping out of my screen

@mnrangera asked: Here's a nice angsty scenario for you: MC is in Duskwood continuing their investigation but is caught out in town after dark. They are on the phone with Jake when they are attacked by the Man Without a Face like Jessie was.

𝙉𝙤𝙩𝙚𝙨: I know this has been LOOOOONG overdue and I apologise for the wait. Thank you to all my followers for being patient, especially those who sent the requests in. I hope the long wait is worth it and you enjoy it. Also, please read the warnings before proceeding, I don't want any of you to be triggered by something I wrote. There may be inaccuracies in how I progressed medical conditions and general working of the hospitals so I apologise for that. Please do not repost or translate this fic anywhere else!! I'm literally begging you, please don't ruin my hard work like this. I would love if I could get some sort of feedback, whether it be reblogs or comments or just anon asks. I've tried to improve my writing and I hope it shows a little in this. This is my Christmas and New Year present all wrapped in one! I hope you all have a great 2021 <3

It was a cold, winter evening with the sky painted in a plethora of warm colors and Jake felt like finally things were going his way.

He, along with Syianne, had been working tirelessly for the past few weeks to find out what happened to Hannah. They had faced a lot of challenges along the way, with cryptic diary entries and threats directed towards them and their loved ones, but still, they'd prevailed and spent every ounce of free time, getting more information about Hannah's perpetrator.

They finally had the facts about what happened the day she was kidnapped and only the identity of the criminal was hidden. Syianne had suggested that she should go to Duskwood to try and find the last puzzle piece, to which Jake had been a little apprehensive. She argued that the rest of the group had already been through enough, with getting stalked and receiving threats and insisted that she should be the one to carry out her search in secret.

She never once asked for him to come along because she knew how dangerous it would be for him and she didn't want him to get caught. Jake was instantly warmed by the thought that someone cared so much about him, to think of his well being first.

So that night, as she called him to update him on her findings and plan after she went to Duskwood, he found himself speaking his thoughts impulsively.

"What if I came too?"

There was silence on the other end and Jake thought he might have overstepped or made it weird but she answered before he could stammer an apology.

"I'd like that. But only if you're comfortable and safe."

She told him to ruminate on it for a while and bid him goodnight. Jake thought about whether it was a logical thing to do. If Syianne planned to go undercover, he couldn't very well let her go into the lion's den alone. So he made up his mind and texted Syianne to let her know.

Jake [10:46 pm]

I'll come to Duskwood too.

Is it okay if we don't meet straight away?

I...I don't think I'm ready yet.

Syianne [10:47 pm]

I was lowkey hoping you'd say that ahaha

And of course! Take as much time as you need :)

That night, he slept with a smile on his face, excitement churning in his stomach.

⊱⋅ ──────────── ⋅⊰

Syianne was looking forward to her trip to Duskwood.

She knew it was a potentially dangerous situation and she was only going there to investigate but knowing that Jake might be there too, sent a spark of thrill through her body. They had been speaking non-stop for the past few weeks and she really liked talking to him. His answers to questions about him or his life were adorably confusing and Syianne realized that she really wanted to get to know him, be his friend or possibly something more, if their flirty banter was anything to go by.

Her bag contained all the essentials she could need, along with a sketchbook and pencils to use in case of boredom. She couldn't leave Matrix with any of her friends as they were either busy or allergic to cats so her only option was to take her along.

She had never booked a flight so fast. Knowing she would have to take a car from the airport to the rest of the way to Duskwood did nothing to damper her excitement. She couldn't wait to meet everyone once they found Hannah, some more so than the others.

The trip was nothing eventful, just a lot of travelling and it made Syianne a little tired but the idea of meeting her friends and finally putting a stop to all this madness, made her keep going. She wouldn't admit it if you asked her but she was looking forward to possibly seeing Jake as well. She knew he might not be comfortable enough to meet her yet and she completely respected that, but the thought still lingered.

She checked in to the only hotel Duskwood had, not meeting the receptionist's - Lilly's - eyes and was eternally grateful that she had only leaked her number and not her photo in that video. It would have been much more difficult to move about Duskwood, if that were the case.

The room they had was pretty basic, but not too bad for a few nights. Matrix prowled around the room, getting herself comfortable in the new environment while Syianne slowly unpacked the few clothes and necessities she brought.

In the corner of her mind, there was the thought that Jake might be staying at this hotel too and that sent a shiver of excitement down her spine. But she was a woman of her word and would wait until Jake was ready and would not try to look for him.

She had a mission here and she wanted to be damn sure that that's what she would be focusing on and save Hannah.

⊱⋅ ──────────── ⋅⊰

Jake was supposed to be in Duskwood about two nights ago.

He had encountered some issues with removing his tracks from the internet, as well as trying to find a safe way to drive to Duskwood without exposing himself. Working as a hacker did have some benefits and finally he managed to find a guy who made him three fake number plates that he would interchange every once in a while, so his whereabouts couldn't be traced.

He had let Syianne know of the unexpected delay but to his surprise, she was enjoying herself in Duskwood. She had told him that Jessy gave her a virtual tour of the town once and she was excited to explore all those places in person. She talked to him at night, describing the beauty of the small town and Jake felt himself growing wistful, wondering what they could do together if he had been there. But then again, hadn't he said that he wouldn't show himself right now? He was cautious - just as he had been all his life - but something about Syianne just made him want to let his guard down, to just be selfish for once.

He had no time to think further on it because finally, all the preparations and precautionary measures were done and he could drive to Duskwood. He couldn't leave Glitch at home because he had attachment issues and couldn't go without Jake for a long period of time. So he ushered him into his carrier and told him he could claw all the wood he wanted when they reached their destination and Glitch meowed in agreement. He had always been a smart cat, after all.

Changing the number plates every hour was exhausting, especially when he didn't do much manual work but he endured it, if it meant he was one step closer to finding his sister.

When he finally reached Duskwood, he was in awe of how normal it looked, how silent; how someone who didn't know that a girl had been kidnapped would think of this place as the perfect getaway. But he knew better, didn't he? This town held dark secrets, secrets that people weren't willing to acknowledge and he was going to expose them for what they were, no matter what it took.

Signing into the Duskwood hotel was as awkward as he imagined it to be, his half sister having no idea who he was and looking at his dark, baggy clothes suspiciously. He wasn't blaming her, he would have probably done the same if a strange man came out of nowhere to stay in Duskwood of all places. Lilly gave him a tight smile as he picked up his bag and key and made way to his room.

Syianne had texted him earlier that day that she would be checking out the lake in the evening, where Jessy was attacked. Jake was against it from the start but he should have known how stubborn she could be and eventually, he had to agree but only on the condition that she stays on video call with him the whole time. Syianne was evidently bewildered by his request, judging by the way she kept writing and erasing her reply but after a while, she managed to ask if he would be comfortable with that. Jake's heart warmed at her considerate words, never really having anyone who would care about his emotions, he was always surprised when Syianne said something like that. He replied that he would just turn off his camera or point it at the lamp or something but he had to be sure about her safety.

And that's why, he was sitting with his phone in front of him in the evening, camera turned off as he watched her fondly, pointing out the strange birds she saw.

"Ah, I wish you were here! The lake is so pretty this time and the light from sunset is reflecting off the water and it makes an amazing view," she said, voice breathy with the exertion of walking for a while and a tone of awe towards the scene in front of her.

"That's sufficient sightseeing, don't you think?" Her voice suddenly took a serious note and Jake straightened up in his chair. He was afraid but couldn't say anything. He had already agreed to let her go with a condition and he feared if he asked her to not investigate, she would probably end the call and keep looking for clues by herself. At least on the phone, he could look at her surroundings and made sure no one sneaked up on her.

"If you say so," he said half-heartedly, glancing at the surroundings behind her as she narrowed her eyes at his dismissive tone.

The next twenty minutes were spent with Syianne looking around the lake and Jake looking over her shoulder virtually. She had scouted the edge and went a little deeper into the forest, looking for a car, a boat, a mask - anything, really - but the search had proved to be futile so far. Everything was as peaceful as ever, no signs of any disturbance and it made Jake a little antsy. Nothing was ever this perfect.

"Well, since we can't find anything here, I think you should come back. It's getting late," Jake said, looking at the already darkened sky. It was an ominous red color and Jake was getting more and more worried as people left the lakeside.

Syianne frowned but didn't argue and that made him sigh in relief.

"Yeah, you're right. No use trying to find something that isn't there," she said and started walking again.

"Wait, you walked here? Didn't you bring your car?" Jake asked and she shook her head.

"Nope, I wanted to enjoy Duskwood and being in a car wouldn't have helped," she smiled at the camera and Jake let out an almost inaudible sigh. Why couldn't she care about her safety a little more? She was going to give him grey hair before he reached his thirties, that was for sure.

As he began to reply to her, he caught movement from the left side of the screen and instantly grabbed his phone, expanding the background.

There was a silhouette of a hand.

"Syianne, run!" He shouted, as the figure's arm came into view and she looked back in surprise before starting to sprint, the camera shaking from her movements.

Jake scrambled to get his car keys, not bothering with what he was wearing and ran towards the hotel parking, getting into his car and connecting the GPS to his phone, all the while listening to Syianne's panting breaths as she ran away from the man without a face.

Getting her location was no problem for him and he just hoped he would arrive there on time.

"Jake, I'm scared. I'm hiding behind a big building and I think he went on ahead," she whispered, voice shaky and trembling and Jake's hands gripped the steering wheel tightly as he glanced over at his phone to watch her looking around herself in a panic.

Five more minutes and he would reach her location. Jake had never been more thankful that Duskwood was a small town and the hotel wasn't so far away from the lake.

"I'm coming, Syianne. Just a little while more and we'll go back together."

"Okay, I think I'm safe for now," she said. There was a sound of slow careful footsteps as Syianne came out from behind the building.

The abrupt sound of a gasp almost made him lose control of the steering wheel and he increased his speed as he heard what sounded like a scuffle. Syianne had probably dropped her phone because it only showed the dark sky and sounds of her struggling against her attacker.

"No! Let–"

Jake let out a harsh breath, jaw tightening as he heard Syianne's scream. He drove straight for a bit and turned the next corner and saw the man trying once again to restrain her. His eyes saw red and he honked and honked like it was nobody's business, speeding towards them.

The man without a face seemed to have realised that someone was coming to help as he pushed Syianne roughly into the wall and ran away towards the forest. As much as Jake wanted to go after him, Syianne was his first priority and he quickly got out of the car, dashing towards her crumpled form, lying on the ground.

He fumbled with his phone, calling the local police and asking for an ambulance, his body shaking all the while, as he knelt down next to Syianne.

He felt tears welling in her eyes as he looked at her battered form and realised that she was bleeding.

"Syianne?" He spoke in a scared voice.

"Syianne!" He said more forcefully, repeatedly patting her face in hope she'll look at him but her eyes were still glassy and unfocused as if she couldn't comprehend anything.

"I'm...so sorry. I…" her voice trailed off as she struggled to breathe and Jake cried, seeing her in so much pain, when he couldn't do anything except wait for the ambulance to arrive.

After a moment, Syianne's eyes fluttered closed and Jake's panic rose to new heights.

"No, no, no! Wake up! Please wake up!" He shouted and begged but she didn't respond to his calls.

His hand was soaked in her blood from where he was applying pressure on the wound at her side. The blood hadn't stopped flowing and Jake was worried that she was losing too much, too soon.

"What do I do? What do I do?" He muttered to himself, adrenaline coursing through his veins, with only one thought in his head – to save her.

He heard sirens in the distance and was relieved to know that help was coming. He pushed up the fallen hood of his jacket up on his head and looked at Syianne for any signs of consciousness. Her breaths were shallow and eyes still closed.

Soon enough, paramedics rushed to the scene and immediately started tending to Syianne's wounds. Jake felt as if he was just a spectator, not being able to do anything but watch. Someone came up to him and started asking him questions, about how he found her, who he was to her and if he knew anything about the attack. He answered all the questions as carefully as he could, giving a fake name, because he still wasn't sure if the police department was in league with the kidnapper or not.

As soon as he was done with the questioning, a paramedic approached him, letting him know that they were taking Syianne to the hospital and he would have to come there for a bit of paperwork. Jake hesitated and said he'd drive there in his own car and the paramedic nodded in response and left.

He got in his car and put his head in his hands, shaking at the unfortunate turn of events. This wasn't how it was supposed to go. Syianne was just going to check out the lake and then surprise her friends the next day by telling them she'd be here for a few days and enjoy Duskwood together.

Jake was even thinking of meeting her in person and telling her that she had changed his life for the better. But his cowardice, his meticulous nature to not let anyone know who he was or where he was might have cost Syianne her life tonight. Even thinking about it had tears pooling in his eyes and he took a deep breath to bite back the sobs that were threatening to break once again.

He felt guilty, so so guilty and couldn't bring himself to start the car. He was pretty sure that if – no when – Syianne woke up, she would want nothing to do with the man who put her life in danger. With that thought rooted in his mind, he opened his phone and with trembling hands, sent Jessy a text about Syianne's accident. He received a reply almost immediately.

Jessy [8:46 pm]

What?

How did she come here?

You know what? If she's not okay, I'm going to hunt you down and make you pay.

Jake had no trouble believing she was telling the truth. All he wanted to do was help and now everything was falling apart. Taking a deep but shaky breath, he started the car but instead of going to the hospital, he turned towards the hotel.

⊱⋅ ──────────── ⋅⊰

Jessy had no trouble believing that the hacker was telling the truth. His texts were frantic and he practically begged her to go to the hospital to see Syianne. She had no idea how she got here, but hearing that she got attacked, just like she was, was enough to make her worry and drive to the hospital, after letting Cleo know. She figured that the rest of them deserved to know too.

She rushed to the front desk, breathless and worried, and one of the nurses told Jessy that the doctors were with Syianne and she'd have to wait until they were done to know how she was.

After some time of relentless pacing, Cleo arrived and Jessy filled her in on everything that the hacker told her, which wasn't much, but it gave them a good idea of what had happened. Cleo said that she hadn't told anyone else yet and that they should do so as soon as the doctors had an update on Syianne's condition.

About an hour later, a nurse came upto Jessy and Cleo, asking if they knew Syianne and upon their confirmation, led them to the room she was kept in. They weren't allowed to enter yet as the doctors were still in the room, but Jessy gasped when she saw Syianne's scratched up face, with bandages covering her head.

"Oh my gosh." Cleo breathed and Jessy felt a rush of sorrow as she averted her eyes.

The doctors after completing their examination, told them that Syianne was stabbed in the side but luckily it didn't puncture anything important and they closed up the wound to allow it to heal. What was more concerning, was the fact that she was hit on the back of her head.

"She most likely suffered from a concussion, in which case, it is of the utmost importance that the patient doesn't fall asleep," the doctor said and Jessy and Cleo looked at each other uneasily.

"But Syianne fell asleep…" Jessy began and the doctor gave her an apologetic smile.

"That's right. She was unconscious when she was brought here. The superficial wounds are taken care of, we just don't know when she'll wake up."

Both of them were too stunned to say anything and a call for the doctor from one of the nurses broke them out of their stupor.

"So, she's in a coma?" Cleo asked.

The doctor hesitated before answering.

"Essentially, yes. But we can't know for sure without further observation. If the injury isn't severe she'll wake up soon, we just have to monitor her constantly and look for any changes." He then walked off when his pager went off, most likely to see another patient.

"Don't worry, Jessy. She'll wake up soon," Cleo said, placing a hand on her shoulder, as they looked into Syianne's room, seeing her sleeping peacefully, as if nothing was wrong and she was just taking a nap.

⊱⋅ ──────────── ⋅⊰

As soon as she got home from the hospital, Jessy sent out a row of furious texts to the hacker, clouded by her anger and hopelessness. In her head, it was all his fault that Syianne was twittering between life and death. He was the one who asked her to come to Duskwood without letting any of them know, which caused her to be in such a terrible condition.

Everything was crumbling.

They were a tight knit group, always there for each other but when did it turn into a nightmare, Jessy didn't know. Emotion overtook her and she suddenly collapsed against the wall, keeping a hand on her mouth to muffle her sobs, and cried.

She cried for Hannah, who she had no idea whether she was alive or not. She cried for Syianne, who had become such a great friend to her. Most importantly, she cried for her relationship with everyone, that was slowly but surely, withering away.

⊱⋅ ──────────── ⋅⊰

Jake had been pacing in his hotel room ever since getting back, waiting on a word from Jessy. Glitch watched him with big eyes, as he stubbed his on the bedside and cursed. Sighing in defeat, Jake realised that it won't do any good to worry himself to death, but that didn't mean that his mind didn't drift off to the earlier scene.

Syianne lying on the ground. Blood pooled around her.

He shook his head in frustration, trying to get that image out of his head but to no success. Glitch, sensing that something was wrong, strolled towards him, rubbing and purring against his legs. Jake softened at seeing his efforts to calm him and he picked Glitch up, moving to lay down on the bed. He petted him, smiling at the way the cat burrowed himself further against Jake, curling his tail around his wrist.

After a few peaceful moments of cuddling, Jake's phone lit up with a text, which had him scrambling to grab it from the bedside. Glitch meowed in protest but Jake was too wound up to notice.

Jessy [10:25 pm]

She's in a coma

They don't know when she'll wake up

Jake felt all breath leave him as he read Jessy's text. He didn't know what to think, what to do, what he could do. Jessy didn't give him a chance to respond.

Jessy [10:26 pm]

Don't contact any of us ever again

I don't want to find Hannah this way…which leads to everyone else getting hurt

Please leave Syianne out of this

Saying her mind, Jessy went offline again. Jake took a shaky breath, trying to ground himself. Syianne might never make up.

No, he told himself.

He couldn't think like that. He knew she'd wake up, it might take a little time but she will. Because if she didn't, Jake wouldn't be able to live with himself.

He got another text from Lilly, saying she was sorry that it happened but he couldn't bring himself to write back. His mind was empty, body numb to everything around him and he was cursing himself for being so careless.

If he hadn't been so selfish, if only he didn't put all of this on her, if he had just reached on time, if, if, if.

That's all he thought of, as tears continuously trailed down his cheeks, an arm covering his eyes, the only thing on his mind being Syianne, just as it had been ever since he started talking to her.

⊱⋅ ──────────── ⋅⊰

The next day, Jake found himself holding a large flower bouquet and walking to Duskwood hospital's reception. He was trembling, scared out of his mind but he just had to see Syianne. So, he had braved his anxiety and was now standing in front of the receptionist, who looked at the abnormally large bouquet in his hands and raised an eyebrow. He cleared his throat.

"I'm here to see Syianne King, she was admitted here yesterday."

The receptionist's gaze sharpened as she looked him over and he partially hid behind the flowers.

"Only family members are allowed to visit," she spoke slowly and Jake bit his lip in frustration.

"I'm her fiance," he said and before the surprised receptionist could say anything, he continued, "I drove here as soon as I got the call but they wouldn't tell me what happened. Only that Syianne had been in an accident and I needed to get here as soon as I could and I—" he cut himself off, shuffling nervously and wiping away the tears that had managed to escape from his eyes.

The receptionist softened, seeing his genuine sorrow and care for his fiance and warmed her voice.

"Of course, I'm sorry for what happened. She's in room 309, third floor. The elevator is down the hall," she pointed and Jake thanked her profusely before walking ahead.

Him being Syianne's fiance might have been fake but everything he had felt was the truth and he felt overwhelmed now that he was here. Should he see her? Did he even deserve to see her after he put her in danger? Thoughts like this plagued his mind all the way to Syianne's room and they only stopped when he saw '309' written in bold letters on a grey coloured door.

His breath stuttered in his chest. He was second guessing his presence in the hospital, thinking whether he shouldn't have come. He stood in front of the door for about ten minutes, contemplating but when the nurses started giving him suspicious looks, he swallowed thickly and with shaky hands, opened the door.

Nothing could have prepared him for the utter despair and helplessness he felt, as he saw Syianne's motionless form on the bed, breathing as if she was just sleeping and would wake up any minute. But he knew that wasn't the truth.

She was here and it was his fault.

For the longest time, he just sat on a chair beside her bed and just looked at her. His eyes traced every injury, every bruise that was visible and he felt sick, blaming himself for letting it happen. She was still sleeping and suddenly, it just got too much.

There was too much light, too much beeping, the walls were too white, the flowers in his hands digging into his skin and he got up hastily, dropping the bouquet and backed into the furthest corner of the room.

His breath was coming in short bursts, it hurt to breath, to think, to stay upright—!

His legs gave from under him and he slid down, back against the wall, shaking hands coming up to wipe the wetness on his face.

He didn't even realise he had been crying.

His vision was a blur of dark shapes and in a distinct corner of his head that was still sane, he thought of what Syianne would have done had she been awake. He was sure she would kneel down in front of him and take his hands, running her thumbs against the back of his hands to calm him.

'Breathe slowly, Jake. Deep breaths with me, come on,' he heard her in his head and tried to slow down, breathing harshly at first but after a few minutes, his vision cleared and his breathing stabled to an acceptable rate.

His whole body shook with the sheer suddenness of the panic attack and he slowly tried to get up, holding onto the wall as a support as his gaze, once again, landed on the bed and it's occupant.

All at once, his head cleared and he knew what to do.

Snatching a sheet of paper from the notepad lying near her chart, Jake penned his thoughts, all his anguish, and his apologies on it. Not once did his hand shake as he wrote the note and not once did his mind waver from the decision he had made. At last, when he had said everything he wanted to, he put the pen down and glanced at Syianne's peaceful face.

His throat closed up but he swallowed once to make sure he didn't cry. No, Jake had no time for tears. It was his fault that this happened in the first place, so it was his responsibility that he would make it right.

He didn't know when she would wake but whenever it might be, Jake had everything he wanted to say, already written for her.

He bent down towards her and placed the softest of kisses against her forehead, knowing that it would be the only time he would ever get to do it.

She did not open her eyes and Jake stepped back with a miniscule tilt of his lips.

Yes, he would make everything right.

#duskwood #duskwood jake #everbyte duskwood #duskwood game #everbyte #jake × mc #duskwood jake × mc #jake × player #duskwood fanfic #duskwood fanfiction #duskwood jake × mc fanfic #viotence tw #physical attack tw #coma tw #blood tw #panic attack tw #please read the warnings carefully!! #and i hope you enjoy it ❤️

[liibrii]

Chapter 1 of Stillness || yokai hunter!Suna x fem!kitsune!reader || wc: 3.3k || 🦊

Synopsis: Arrival of an unexpected visitor promises your coming days to be interesting...

Genre: supernatural!au, enemies to lovers, angst & fluff, eventual smut

Warnings: reader is a nuisance, fire, mentions of blood

a/n: I'm no expert on Japanese mythology. I did my research but also took creative liberties so please keep in mind the information on yokai in this fic is lacking. Here are some links with basic info on yokai appearing in this series. 

as always feedback is greatly appreciated and if you want to be tagged let me know!

A streak of the new highway is planned to cut through your favourite part of the forest, the one you walk through when heading east to the river kappas inhabit. First trees have already fallen. You caress the bark of the mighty maple that once touched the sky and now lays at your feet, cut and bleeding from the wounds humans inflicted. You still remember when it was a sprout pushing roots into earth and hungrily reaching for the sun rays. Half a century later you fell asleep under its shade and hid in his branches from those chasing you. Why is this how you say goodbye?

Forest spirits peek out of their hiding places, their terrified chimes fill the air. They cling to you, your clothes, your tails. Some you have to convince to leave the branches of the fallen trees, the hollows in their barks that have offered them sanctuary for so many long years. They cry in pain.

And pain has a way of turning into anger.

It's searing and all consuming, spreading through your body as bright blue flames shoot from your hands. They burn all standing in their path. Equipment of workers, their machines and their boxes of metal go up in flames. Truck standing by the fence catches on fire. You transform back into your fox form, running away as it explodes with a bang echoing through the night.

It's a lonely existence, being a kitsune. With years most of your kind have hidden in the forest, many have moved to cities living together with humans, pretending to be them. As if they could ever be. You hold a bit of pity for them but mostly you just don't understand. Why do they go where humans live? Why do they want to live as humans live? Humans are interesting and fun to observe, that much you never denied, but they are also cruel and blind and they drove so many of your kind away. Empty lairs is all they leave behind.

You water the flowers around the temple as you do every morning before heading to bed. From your pocket a forest spirit you've rescued from one of the fallen trees peeks out. Morning sun makes it blink and rattle in confusion. None of your words reassure it so you leave the matter be. It needs time. Time to breathe and time to heal. As you pull out some weeds from between the cobble stones it watches and chimes, sorrowfully.

“I can't say.“ Weeds in your hands catch aflame and whither. You lay them down on the black soil. “We will find you a nicer home. There is a beautiful cherry blossom tree growing by the entrance. Would you like that?“ It gives a soft chime. “We can have a look at it later, alright? Careful!“ you catch it on your outstretched palm. “Stay with me, I'm almost finished with my duties. Do you have a name? Ah I see,“ you nod when it chimes. “How about I call you Koda? Would you like that? Now make sure not to fall off again, alright?“ You help it climb on your shoulder.

Koda turns it's head in all directions taking in the sight. It's probably its first time seeing anything but endless sky and branches. Not that the temple is anything special. It's small, with only two wooden buildings in need of repair and pond you hold particularly dear. No ducks live near it. You brought a pair once in hopes they'd have ducklings to keep you company but sadly before a month passed they became dinner to passing yokai. Ever since the only ducks at the temple are the ones on the edges of the roof.

Surrounding trees grow closely together, casting long shadows over the roofs and the small yard. In their shade a steep staircase leads towards the entrance of the temple. Every morning and every evening you sweep the leaves from the stairs, picking up and keeping the ones you find particularly beautiful. The golden, the deep crimson, and bright green, ones sprouting first when spring arrives, are your favourite. Moss has overgrown most of the steps. Koda chimes for you to put it on it and it sits on the soft green blanket seeming calm for the first time. Its home was taken but what said it couldn't make a new one here, with you? The temple has been your home for as long as you can remember and you doubt you'll ever know any other.

Your new friend still watches in amazement (At least you think it's amazement. Even you find spirits' expressions hard to read) and when you return to check on offerings you consider waking Chochin to help you reassure it. After a short consideration you decide against the idea. The stillness of the early morning is your favourite part of the day after all and you'll hear from your possessed lantern before noon rolls around anyway. Besides Chochin would only scare already rattled Koda. You'd like to spare the spirit further shocks, at least for a while. Luckily most days the temple grounds stand deserted. With each passing year less and less humans come to pay their respect to Inari. Less and less fields are to be found in the area so it's no wonder they forget how much depends on good harvest. They take it for granted and they forget. If centuries have thought you anything is that humans are incredibly good at forgetting.

You're just about to sweep the two fox statues by the entrance when you catch the sound of approaching steps. One person. Must be an early riser. You make your tails disappear and straighten the sleeves of your hoodie before instructing Koda to hide.

A young man steps through the tori gate. He's tall and lanky, a beanpole with dark hair. Most people pant and heave for air when reaching the top. He looks like he just took a pleasant stroll in the park. He takes in his surroundings then walks over to you. “Good morning,“ he greets with a polite smile that doesn't quite reach his slanted eyes.

There's an aura surrounding him. You can tell he's the kind of man people take a second glance at when passing him by. If you asked them why they'd give you a confused look. “I, I have no idea,“ they'd answer, “There was... something.“ If you asked them an hour later they'd be even more confused because they have already forgotten about him. But he is the kind of a man who wants to be forgotten. How else would he hunt yokai in peace?

“Morning,“ you return the pleasantries. Koda in your pockets shivers.

“I'd like to pay my respects. Can I offer alone or-?“ If he's embarrassed by being unsure of how to proceed you can't tell it from his face. You show him to the temple and excuse yourself, aware of how his eyes follow you as you walk across the small courtyard. You don't want him here. But you can't deny him entry.

He doesn't scare you. He's as green as sprouting grass, too young to have any real experience. He probably only recently accepted yokai are real and not just a folktale used to scare children. You might be the first he'd ever meet. At least one that isn't harmless. Still there is something about his calm voice and bored expression that keeps you alerted.

Koda peeks out of your pocket and chimes, worriedly. “We'll see,“ you murmur in response and head over to the pond. It's so empty. Should you get some koi fish? Or would they all too soon become dinner too? Many of those yokai who remain are growing hungrier. Wilder. Hearing approaching footsteps you wonder if that is what brought Mr Witch to your humble abode.

“I've heard there's a kitsune living around here.“

You straighten and turn to face the unwelcome visitor. Was someone else in your shoes they'd act smart and deny their nature. But you can tell he isn't asking. He's just confirming what he already knows. “There is.“

Visibly taken aback he hesitates. “Is it you?“

“I am.“ You don't like his eyes. They are too fox-like.

He bows politely. “I'm Suna Rintarou.“

“Good for you.“

He ignores the poison in your voice. “News of someone destroying the construction site has reached Inarizaki Clan.“ Ah, that explains the lack of fear. If he's here with the backing of a clan naturally he'd feel secure enough to directly challenge you. “I was sent to let the ones responsible know their efforts are meaningless. The road will be built no matter what you- What they do.“

“Ask? Your kind doesn't ask.“

“This might be the one for history books then.“ His face irks you. There's no fear, no nerves showing, no twitch of his mouth or fingers to betray what he's thinking. Humans are as easy to read as open books but the young man in front of you is a blank sheet of paper.

“Leave,“ is all you answer.

To your surprise he bows and obeys. Watching him leave you think he should straighten up.

As the sun rises higher you head to bed, newcomer so heavy on your mind he haunts your dreams. The sole presence of a yokai hunter is something to be worried about. First one comes, then a second, next your kind is being chased away. The only reason you're still here is because the humans can't seem to figure out a way to chase you away for good. Not that they haven't tried. If only they knew worst things live deep in the woods.

When evening falls you sweep the stairs and leave still rattled Koda besides Chochin who disapprovingly rolls it's one eye at you.

The town is only a short run away. It's small, at least you think so since there aren't many you've visited in your relatively short life. You know every nook and cranny, you know which tombstones are nekomata's favourite, you know which of the old street cats will soon join them. They can be a handful but they're the closest thing to friends you have. You pass the old house where teenagers like to gather. Its cellar has been home to keukegen for years now. You catch a glimpse of a few leaving. No doubt the fault of that damn visitor.

The place he's staying at is easy to find. How careless of him. All you have to do is follow the magic of protective charms scattered across the town back to its source. They're sloppy. Almost as if a child made them. But some of them are particularly well made. Work of another clan member perhaps?

You hide in the bushes of the garden surrounding a small house. Mr Witch left the sliding door open. Even in the garden you smell herbs meant to ward away evil spirits. He's sitting on the floor and watching a curious looking thin screen similar to ones you've seen down at the train station. He seems disinterested. When he stands up and leaves the room you silently creep closer to peek inside. The smell of herbs is stronger here. You don't find it unpleasant though many of your yokai friends would disagree.

On the screen you see a map of the town. More maps lay on the low table. Some have scribbles you can't quite read, arrows, and question marks. You hear him returning and scurry back in the safe embrace of darkness and bushes. He sits back down to continue his work, not noticing you were in his home. You lean your head on your paws and watch.

Following Suna around becomes a daily routine. You sweep the stairs in the morning and water the flowers then run the fastest your legs can carry you to the town. Luckily for you he likes sleeping in. His days are uneventful. Boring to be honest. He eats breakfast. Goes to town. Looks at historical monuments downtown. Sits on the only bench in the park and eats ice cream. Heads to library. From time to time he visits the construction site to inquire if there have been any more incidents. There were a few but none of them were your doing. Mr Witch doesn't actually think you're the only one enraged by the new road, does he? Honestly as much as you detest it you're also a little relieved humans haven't decided to build over the northern part of the forest. That would be a lot more troublesome.

You follow on a safe distance as he inspects the surrounding trees, no doubt to chase away the remaining forest spirits. For a very long time he inspects some footprints. You carefully step closer trying to see what caught his attention. Suddenly he stands up and continues on his way. As you follow you glance at the ground. Ah, of course.

He heads back to town after that, returns home and you return to your spot in the bushes. Sun hasn't set yet,  the day is still warm so he brings a low table out on the porch and pours two glasses of dark bubbly liquid.

“Are you going to keep hiding or will you join me for a drink? I have some tofu I can fry if you want. Kitsune like it, right?“ he asks without looking in your direction.

Crap. Well, no point in trying to be sneaky anymore. You step out, head raised high and your tails gracefully swaying with each step. A silver gem radiating light balances on the middle one. Once you reach porch you shapeshift to a human and hide the gem from Suna's eyes. You don't bother hiding the tails though and you take a sit across from him, carefully eyeing and sniffing the contents of the glass.

“Only three tails?“

“Are you judging my age?“

“Sorry. I didn't mean to be rude.“ That's not what his face says. “Thank you for leaving the construction site be,“ he chats on seemingly unbothered by your icy glare. “You must've noticed those footprints too, right? Have any idea where I might find the owner?“

“That sounds like your job Mr Witch.“

“It's Suna actually.“ He keeps talking like you're old acquaintances and it's making your blood boil. “Can I ask for your name? Don't want to call you Miss Kitsune.“

“Why are you here?“

Suna gulps down half of his drink before answering. “To make sure construction continues without any accidents. You seem to think yourself some kind of a yokai protector. Then I'm a protector of humans.“

You bark a laugh. “As if your kind needs protecting.“

“All the people getting sick from those keukegen would disagree.“

“Sounds like it's their fault for not staying away from infested places,“ you retort.

“Then one easy fix would be getting rid of those infested places.“

“An undertaking you have no doubt already started.“

“I'm just doing my job.“

“You can't chase them away for long you know. Your kind has tried before. They always come back.“

You've hoped your words would elicit a response from him. Anything. A trace of frustration, an arrogant grin. Suna pours himself another glass. “Do you want some ice?“

“What I would very much like is for you to leave.“

A grin flashes over his face. “Get used to my presence because I won't go away for a very long time.“

So this is how he wants to play. He isn't the tiniest bit alerted when you abruptly stand up. “We'll see.“

Your daily routine continues. The only difference is you no longer care to hide. Wherever Suna goes you're not far behind. He wants to stay, play the protector of humans, does he? Pathetic. He doesn't seem to be bothered by you following him around. Just slightly unimpressed. It makes you want to set his pants on fire. Just to get a reaction. Just to see his expression change.

“How long do you plan on following me?“

“Who says I'm following you? World doesn't revolve around you Mr Witch. Maybe I just wanted to buy myself some mochi. Have you considered that?“ You pretend to be interested in melons on the shelf. “Aren't these kind of expensive?“

Suna ignores your question. “I'm grocery shopping. There are no yokai here. And I haven't even harmed anyone.“

“Yet. Such a short word. Yet. Somebody has to keep an eye on your nasty tricks.“ You peek into his shopping cart. “Instant ramen and crab chips? Even I know humans need some you know,“ you wave your hand trying to remember what it's called but the word is buried too deep in your memory, “healthy food!“ you say instead and place the most expensive melon in the cart. “Like fruit for example.“

“Put it back.“

“It's healthy.“

“It's expensive.“

“I got money.“ You pull a bundle of bank notes from your pocket.

He puts the melon back on the shelf and grabs the cart with more force than necessary. You hum contently before putting the money in your pocket where it changes back to leaves you picked up last autumn.

The sheer number of different products on the shelves amazes you. And also makes you a little sad. All the offering humans bring to the temple are just rice and tofu and sometimes curry. Not that you don't like rice and tofu but why can't they bring one of all these colourful sweets? Or the chips Suna just put in the cart. Would he notice if one of the bags disappeared?

Walking past the vegetable stand you grab three cucumber packages and plop them down in his cart. You notice he added a bag of brown rice to it.

“Really? Three packages?“ he asks.

“They're a gift for kappas up the stream,“ you smile, innocently.

“Buy them yourself. You got money, don't you?”

“Why, would you like some? What's the matter Mr Witch, job doesn't pay well? Maybe you should consider a career that doesn't rely on destroying our lives.“

“Maybe you should live a life that doesn't harm others.“

You grin, satisfied. And so facade begins to crumble. A loud cough distracts you from throwing back another insult. An older man gives the two of you a disapproving look before returning to reading labels.

Suna grabs the cart and continues his way to the next item on the crumpled shopping list. You trail behind looking like a lost puppy peeking from behind him to see what the next item on the list is, adding new items to the cart Suna immediately puts back in their place. Even by the register you add one more package of chewing gum to the pile.

“At least take one with a fruity flavour,“ says Suna so you grab two more packages with watermelon on them. You think you see his eye twitch though it might be just your imagination. While he puts the groceries in a bag you snatch a chocolate bar from the nearest shelf, then follow him outside to take the cucumbers from the bag he's holding.

“You've been quite busy yesterday,“ you remark as you walk down the street.

“Since you followed me around the entire time I take it you weren't.“ He outstretches his hand. “Your stuff was 700 yen. Pay up.“

You give him a crumbled wrapper.

“Any particular reason you're interested in the old Nishikawa house?“ you ask, continuing to smile innocently when Suna glares at you and puts the wrapper in his pocket.

“I thought you were the local expert on all things paranormal in this town. I'll let you guess twice.“ He peels the sticker off the bananas and sticks it on your forehead. “See you around Miss Kitsune.“

Ch. 2: Red beneath the moon

tag list: @blurring-stars

#suna x reader #suna x y/n #suna rintarou #suna rintaro x reader #suna rintarō #hqcorenet #hq #haikyuu fanfic #inarizaki x reader #inarizaki x y/n #inarizaki #suna fanfic #stillness #libri scribbles

[bound-up-feelings]

Sacha Baron Cohen x fem reader

In Character

Requested: @333fairies

Warning: I am not sure what to call this? I’ll say fluff??

(Hey there! So, I hope I made this to your liking and hopefully you like it! I’m not sure of this fic so please give feedback and tell me if I messed something up. Also this is based on a Johnathan Ross interview I saw with him and Sacha/Borat. Anyways enjoy!)

You had been at this talk show for only 5 minutes. Literally nothing could screw this up. It was probably the best yet funniest talk show you had been on. It was great. The questions, Johnathan Ross, and the audience were amazing. The questions were your favorite because not only did Johnathan ask question but so did the audience. Some of the audience were younger people in their early, early twenties but that was ok because they had very good questions that actually got you thinking. Like now you had just answered a funny question with a even funnier answer. The host points to another man in the audience. "Hi! I am such a big fan, I would just like to ask. Are you single?" You chuckle and blush a small bit "Well to answer your question, no I am not single. I am in a relationship with a man by the name of Sacha?" The audience gasps "Yes I mean Sacha Baron Cohen for those who are wondering." "For how long?" Johnathan asks. You think for a hot second trying to get as close to the real amount as you could "Almost 2 years so far." The host nods his head "Congratulations!" You smile and thank him "Where is he right now?" "Oh he's back home, actually." He nods and looks at his cards "Well y/n we have a special guest here with us tonight. I hope you don't mind?" "Of course not!" "Good because he came all the way over here from Kazakhstan." When he says that its like a truck hit you. You've heard of that place before. It rung so many bells in your head but where have you heard that before? You give a shocked/confused face and Johnathan try's to hide his smile "Ladies and gentlemen please help me welcome, Borat!" He says as he stands. You look behind you, the audience cheers and applauds, then right as you stand you see Sacha come out, but it wasn't Sacha. Borat was walking over to you both with his thumbs up and a big smile plastered on his face. He comes up to Johnathan and kisses both sides of his cheeks before kneeling down and kisses his crotch. This freaks you and Johnathan out. "Woah, woah what are you doing!?" "I am giving you great honor?" He says before looking over to you. He smiles real big and shakes your hand before kissing both sides of your cheeks. He then kisses your lips "That is giving great honor to woman." He says as he sits down "You have couch, very nice!" He says nodding. You all sit down. You knew this was Sacha but you had never seen him in character before and it honestly made you feel a certain way.

After Johnathan asks a few question he looks straight at Borat  "So in Kazakhstan are you familiar with Ms. Y/n L/n here?" He says gesturing over at you. Borat's eyes widen "You are Y/n L/n?" "Yes I am." "WA WA WEE WA! We are very much familiar with your work! We even have day dedicated to you!" He says smiling "You do?" "Wait what do you do on this day?" Johnathan asks "Well all men in our city, come together and masturbate!" He says as he smiles. You laugh just as you were taking a drink of water. You cover your face and laugh even harder. How is he able to keep it together? "Do you celebrate this day Borat?" Johnathan asks knowing just how much you're hating this. "Oh yes, I'm always first to be there and I am first to ejaculate!" He says, he then looks at Jonathan and suddenly says "High Five!" As he high fives Jonathan. You give a shocked face but you laugh anyways. You were practically crying by now. "In Kazakhstan we find you very sexy!" He says as he smiles and nods you way. "Wel-" you say before you start laughing again the crowd laughing with you. "Well, thank you Borat! I'm very flattered!" "You are flatted? You do not look flat in this area?" He says as he gestures to your breasts, Laughing again you shake your head "No, no I mean I'm flattered, means I'm honored that you find me sexy." You shake your head again as you look at the crowd, mouthing a silent 'Help me'.

As Johnathan asks more question and more hilarious stuff starts to happen, it was finally time to say goodbye "Well Borat, it was a pleasure having you here on the show!" "It was pleasure to be here!" He says as he again kisses his cheeks and turns toward you "It was pleasure meeting you y/n! Here is my number, please call, it will make all the men in Kazakhstan very jealous." He says as he kisses your cheeks and leaves, his thumbs are up and the huge smile is still plastered on his face. "Well y/n, that was quite interesting was it not?" "That was definitely something." "Y/n I'd like to say thank you for joining me on the show tonight, I hope someday you can come back and have another interesting time!" "Me too Johnathan, thank you so much and thank all of you for having me, have an amazing night!" You say waving at the audience before exiting through the opening. When you get to the back you see Sacha or Borat? Standing there talking to the back stage crew and as you approach him he greets you first "Well hello again! What coincidence?" You chuckle "Yes it sure is." "I be leaving in moment, would you like me to give you ride home?" He says giving you the most serious look you've see all night. "Yeah sure, if your ok with that Borat?" "Of course, perhaps if you want we can have the sexy time?" He says as he claps his hands together before grabbing yours and leads you out to his car.

When your actually on the rode, you ride in silence. You smile and look over at him, he had one hand on the steering wheel and the other was placed on his right leg. You reach over and grab it, squeezing it in your smaller one. He looks over and smiles at you. "What you think of Borat?" He says smiling at you out of character "Well after seeing the movie I thought I had seen it all. But you continue to surprise me. It was absolutely hilarious!" He smiles and takes his hand away to peel off the mustache that was on his face. "I'm glad you enjoyed it dear." He say as he takes your hand back "And not to mention kind of scary." He snickers at this "Scary? The way you were looking at me in there made me think you thought of me in a not very appropriate way?" He says wiggling his eyebrows, you shake your head "I was not thinking that....!" "Uhuh! You think I'm sexy!" "Oh shut it!" "No shame. I am a sexy man, in Kazakhstan no lady can resist my charm!" You roll your eyes as you look out the window "Would you like to have the sexy time? I promise to be gentle." You laugh "I am not having sex with you when your acting as Borat." "But I make it worth your while. I make you feel things you have never felt before." You look at him with a straight face, which doesn't last long. He just looks at you his smirk that tells you he's being serious. "I love you way to much." "Is that a yes from Ms. Y/n?" You chuckle as your cheeks heat up "Yes, its a yes Sach-" "No, no! Not Sacha, Borat!" He says as he sticks his mustache back on. And gives his big smile. You knew that tonight would be interesting. This had never happened before and you never talked about it, so obviously this was quite the change up. But you had a feeling it would be good. I mean it was Sacha after all.

(Hey so I hope you liked this and its what you kind of had in mind?? Please give feed back, I need it! Have an amazing day and stay strong!)

#sacha baron cohen x reader #sacha baron cohen imagines #sacha baron cohen #borat #request anytime