#and also like (points to post from three months ago) she finally got out of manburg and her best friend had become absolutely twisted

[lovelyela]

she looks like fun || theodore nott x fem!reader

synopsis: new years eve party, based on she looks like fun by arctic monkey. part 2 to she's thunderstorms :)

ela’s note: ignore the fact that it takes place on new years eve and we are half way into january LMAOOO. i wanted to use this song cause it was fitting and my friend suggested it :c

warnings: use of y/n, mentions of smoking, oblivious friends to lovers, cursing, mentions of drinking/alcohol, kissing, confessing, kinda cringe? lazy ending (again), mentions of parties, bad attempt at writing british people.

word count: 1.5k

・❥・

7 months, 30 weeks, 212 days, and a couple hours and a few seconds was how long ago you and theo met.

"aye, mate! ready for the party?" mattheo walked out of the bathroom, towel hanging low on his hips while steam flowed out of the shower.

you were throwing a new years eve party for the students at hogwarts who didn't go back home. mattheo and theo were getting ready.

theo's friends had long known about his new liking towards you, if you could call it that.

after the party in may, the two of you became close friends, finding time to study together, hang out, do projects in classes, and more. because of your guys' new memories and stories, he found himself falling for you even more day after day.

"course i am." theo said, scrolling mindlessly on instagram. your 2023 recap post came up on his feed. first, it was a picture of a sunrise, then one of a cheeseburger you had in italy or some other romantic-looking place. swiping more, he saw pictures of you and your friends, your achievements of that year, you with animals, and finally you snowboarding.

he even made the cut with a secretly taken picture of him staring at a thunderstorm with a blunt in his hand from the night you two met.

mattheo quickly got dressed and polished himself up before the two boys walked to the gryffindor common room.

the party hadn't started yet, but theo and a few other slytherin boys were helping you set up final details.

"hey guys!" you greeted mattheo and theo.

enzo was already helping, and draco and blaise went home to their families so it was just the three for now.

theo felt weak in the knees when he saw you. you were all glammed up for the new year, with your hair done nice and a silky emerald green dress to match the color of 2024.

you wore shoes that were much more elegant than the ones you usually wear, but they were still comfortable to dance and be in.

"you look stunning." theo said without much thought, simply just admiring you.

"thank you." you blushed, face heating up under his gaze. what theo didn't know was how you felt the same.

the times he glanced at you from across the room, the times he laughed at all your bad and funny jokes, the times he did little things for you like holding the door open, all those times did not go unnoticed.

he loved you, and the feeling was mutual.

"what can we help with?" mattheo smiled after a few beats of you and theo smiling each other.

"you can help lorenzo, i asked him to put out the snacks and drinks." you pointed to the other boy, who was putting his heart and soul into a cracker and cheese charcuterie board. mattheo went to him, and began pouring different chips into different bowls.

"and you," you focused your attention back to theo, "you can help me put up streamers."

theo smiled and followed you to the staircase, where golden streamers were put up half-way.

"i'll give you 20 galleons if y/l/n and nott get together tonight," enzo grinned at mattheo.

"i doubt it, they're both too shy to actually tell each other about their feelings." mattheo shook his head. "you know i'm always up for a bet though."

everyone saw it. the professors, your friends, even the paintings and ghosts of hogwarts. they all saw the way you and theo looked at each other, the way you two are always together. they've heard both of you talking about one another like you were desperately in love.

they also knew how oblivious the two of you were. how one of you could yell "i love you," in the other's face and brush it off like nothing.

the 4 of you finished the setup at 8:32, the perfect time as the party started at 9. people already started piling in and chatting with each other.

at 11 pm, you poured yourself a tropical drink, and you got onto the dance floor quickly with your friends and a smile on your face.

30 minutes later, theo was alone, watching you subtly from afar. mattheo was finding a girl to kiss for the new year, and enzo was with his girlfriend he met at the party in may, which actually turned out to be one of your best friends. the italian was debating whether or not to go for a smoke break again.

he decided why not, and went to a hallway empty enough. he cracked open the window and sat on the floor.

he pulled out his only blunt and lighter, but before he could even spark the steel box, your voice interrupted yet again.

"you have to stop running from my parties to smoke some weed," you smiled and set your drink on the windowsill before taking a seat in from of theo.

"and you have to stop showing up to my smoke breaks unexpectedly." he scoffed lightheartedly before putting the lighter and blunt next to your drink.

"but you love it when i do that." you frowned jokingly. "do you have another one?"

"no," he sighed, "i should stop smoking so much this new year." he said.

"maybe." you shrugged. "are you having fun?" you questioned, tracing shapes on your knee.

"i always have fun at your parties," he said, "you're lots of fun."

"i'm flattered." you smiled, "did mattheo and enzo ditch you?" you questioned. you saw enzo and mattheo inside, so you could only jump to conclusions.

"not necessarily ditched." he said, "riddle is flirting around and berkshire is with his girlfriend."

"they're cute!" you said, "they're almost at 6 months, right?"

"i think so," theo shrugged. "they're really a good match."

"i wish i had a match like that." you said, "they're so great together, they have each other's humor, they're both loyal and secure, they let each other live their own lives and be independent, they're fun to be around, just like the perfect couple."

theo bit his tongue. he couldn't tell you, he couldn't have you knowing how he felt.

you couldn't know about how you made his day. you couldn't know how your smile or gaze alone made his heart flutter. you couldn't know about how he loved your guys' cloudy day hang outs. you couldn't know how he thought about you every waking second. hell, even when he slept, he dreamt of you. you couldn't know about how he loved sharing every whimsical thought that entered his mind with you. you couldn't know about how much fun he had with you, talking shit about people who did you two dirty and being dickheads. you couldn't know.

"i think we'd be a perfect couple."

shit.

"what?" you were taken aback in the best way possible.

"i meant-" he tried explaining, but just like a cheesy romcom, your best friend, enzo's girlfriend ran outside for you.

"it's agora hills!" she said, taking your hand and pulling you into the room.

theo was speechless, it happened so quick, and your reaction was not promising whatsoever.

he almost started panicking, but he had to clear the air. the secret was out, and even though it might end the friendship, you had to know.

he entered the common room, searching for you in the crowded room. he saw mattheo with some slytherin girl, and enzo was talking to some guys in ravenclaw.

he ignored them and kept looking for you.

the same way he's looked for you his whole life.

agora hills stopped and a minute timer came on, people started cheering and it was evident. 1 minute until the new year.

he finally found you after you emerged from the crowd, you were so happy he was tall enough for you to easily scout him out.

"y/n, let me explain." theo pleaded.

"no need, theo." you smiled.

"30 seconds!" someone said in the crowd.

"i've liked you for so long. since you approached me in may, i was interested in you. i've been falling for you everyday since then. these past 7 months were so fun, and i know it'll fuck our friendship up, but i can't miss this opportunity." he yapped, rushing.

20 seconds.

you smiled, your heart becoming warm after he confessed after nearly half a year of waiting. "theo, i like you too." you said.

"10!"

theo blinked at you, not processing the information.

"9!"

"can i kiss you?" you asked.

"8!"

"what?" he asked back, caught so off guard since he was fully ready to be rejected.

"7!"

"can i kiss you, idiot!?" you smiled again, knowing he thought he was dreaming.

"6!"

the question you asked finally registered in his brain.

"5!"

"..are you sure?" he questioned.

"4!"

"yes, im sure, theo!" your grin grew wider.

"3!"

he smiled from ear to ear, heart fluttering when he realized this was real. you felt the same way.

"2!"

you both leaned in, eager to make you two official.

"1! happy new year!"

and you two kissed. sparks flew and it could be compared to magic.

the two of you pulled away after a few moments, and smiled.

"woah."

・❥・

reblogs, likes, and replies are ALWAYS appreciated <3

dni if you support pro-life, racism, homophobia, transphobia, antisemitism, sexism or anything along those lines!

#theodore nott x fem!reader #theodore nott x y/n #theodore nott x you #theo nott x reader #theodore nott x reader #theodore nott imagine #theodore nott #theo nott x y/n #theo nott x fem!reader #theo nott x you #slytherin boys x fem!reader #slytherin boys x you #slytherin boys x reader #slytherin boys #theo nott

[sofiareidings]

Coffee Runs

Summary: The guy who's been coming to the cafe you work at finally asked why you've never called him by his name.

A/N: I'm sorry this story is so late, especially since I missed Monday's post. School has been so busy this week and I've also had a bunch if extracurricular lately. I'll try and be more on time from now on (Don't hold me to that) Also! I got the idea for this one shot from @hanllo-kitty

Word Count: 0.8k

Song Suggestions: Invisible String - Taylor Swift

It was a good job, a great job really. The cafe was in a nicer part of town and people would subconsciously give nice tips so your pay was good. Rarely were customers terrible. Most people that came in were students or really busy people rushing in and going.

There were a few regulars. Like Joe, Joe was an eighty year old man who came in everyday for a coffee and a sandwich. While he waited he would talk about the lotto numbers and how his kids were doing. There was also Lola, she was a journalist who spent most of her day sitting in the corner of the cafe while refilling the same cup until closing.

But there was only one regular you would think about while getting ready for work.

Come on, I don't know his name. Don't shoot the messenger.

He'd been coming in for the past three months almost everyday, right after the cafe opened for a coffee. He always looked a little tired and acted like it too. He barely made conversation and normally shuffled out of the store in the same fashion as the other overworked people; quickly.

You hadn't learned his name yet. He always seemed to forget to say it when you asked, which resulted in you making up something.

"Guy with the sweater vest!"

"Guy in the purple!"

"Guy with the scarf!"

You get the point.

He was your favourite regular because of his looks. God, even when he was incredibly sleep deprived he looked beautiful. He had brown hair that fell just below his sharp jaw. Brown eyes that always happened to be in the light from the cafe window, making the small gold flakes in his eyes shine. He was normally dressed in a sweater vest and neutral pants, he probably worked at some type of office. The one part of him that stood out in his outfits were his converse, odd for the rest of his outfit. You could've sworn a few times you saw brightly coloured mismatched socks.

***

The sound of the cafe bell echoed through the nearly empty shop, having only opened half an hour ago. Smiling in the direction of the person walking in you quickly noticed it was 'Guy with *whatever he had on*" who came in. Something was different, he had thick glasses on. That was new.

"Hey, just the regular coffee and donut?" You put the order into the computer, looking back up at him. Taking in the new look.

"Yeah, thanks." His lips creased into a line, you called it a tired smile, the same one he made everyday. He handed over his money and poured the change into the tip jar then stepped back to wait for his order.

A couple minutes later you came back to the counter with his order. "Guy with the glasses!"

He did his usual, smiled and grabbed his order saying bye. But just when he reached the threshold of the door he paused and turned. "Why do you do that?"

Having already turned around you paused, this was the first time he'd talked to you in a clear voice. You weren't really sure what he meant. "Do what? Did I get your order wrong?"

He cleared his throat and seemed a little frustrated. "You never say my name, you just call me guy with something. Is it just to annoy me?"

"What? No, you've just never told me your name." Laughing a little, realising the misunderstanding.

"I didn't?" His face changed to confusion, "Oh my gosh, I didn't." He realised his mistake then his face flushed a shade of red.

"Don't worry, it's okay. Guy with the glasses." You laughed, looking around the cafe for a minute, strange it was still pretty empty.

"I am so sorry, I thought I told you and you just wanted to annoy me. I feel like a jerk, you seem so nice." Genuinely sorry he apologised profusely. "Can I make it up to you?"

Deciding to take the chance, you'd been daydreaming about this guy for months. "Well, maybe you could take me on a date." A little shocked by your own boldness, your face went up like twelve degrees.

"Uh, yeah…" He trailed off, clearly flustered. "Yeah, I would really like that."

"Well then, it's a date." You beamed, internally jumping up and down out of excitement. Since when were you so forward? He made that smile he made everyday before turning towards the door again.

That's when you realised.

"Wait!" You shouted, louder than you expected. Causing your coworker to drop a cup. "You still haven't told me your name."

"It's Spencer. I'll make sure to be back tomorrow." He nodded again and chuckled lightly before finally walking through the door.

God could tomorrow morning come any quicker.

#criminal minds #spencer reid #criminal minds fandom #fandom #fanfic #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x you #spencer reid x gn!reader #sofiareidings

[taahko]

I just found your blog today can you please explain or point out a post that explains the MASH timeloop thing? I love the show but I've never heard anyone talk abt it that way before

oh yay hurray ive been waiting for an excuse to talk about this lmao sorry this is long

ok so basically maeve (my gf) and i started watching mash for the first time about a month ago and we started joking about it being like the characters were stuck in a time loop mostly because the same basic episode format is repeated over and over, because it's a sitcom from the 70s and the episodes arent meant to be watched en masse where you can start noticing all the little repetitions and plot holes and inconsistencies that naturally occur in longform tv

but then i started to pay attention to the dates being mentioned in the show - famously the korean war never technically ended, but american troops were involved in active on the ground fighting between 1950 and 1953, so the entire 11 seasons of mash have to be squeezed into that three year period. with 251 episodes occurring within 1,129 days, that gives every episode about 4.5 days of real time. so it works right? no time loop right? well wait a sec

for the first 5 seasons or so of mash they give very consistent dates about when things are happening. for example, bj arrives in korea in september of 1952, at the start of season 4. colonel potter arrives about a week after him, and talks about how he has 18 months left before his retirement. that gives us about 7 months for the shows final 7 seasons to take place in, meaning that by the episode 'point of view' in season 7 we should be around december of 1952. in that episode the pov character starts writing a letter home and in the corner he writes the date:

september of 1951. ok, could be that this episode isn't meant to take place in the regular timeline of the season - maybe for some reason its just like, a random flashback episode. but bj, charles, and potter are all present, even though none of them got to korea until 1952. now i KNOW that this is not like, the True Hidden Secret Lore of MASH, this is the writers realizing they were running out of road and turning back the clock a bit to accommodate for how long the show was running on. but play in my time loop space with me please

more talking points:

consistent jokes about time zones and how difficult it is to call the states because "our today is their yesterday but if you call them now it might not reach them until our tomorrow and by that point our yesterday will be their today"

hawkeye's increasing mania over the seasons and his conviction that the war will never end, comparing the camp to dante's inferno multiple times. maeve once pointed out that the closer hawkeye comes to realizing that he's trapped in a time loop the closer he gets to being institutionalized - and what does the series finale cold open onto ? hawkeye in a mental institution. the only way out is to lose yourself etc. sidenote frank also escaped the time loop by going insane and getting institutionalized

in a war for all seasons bj potter and charles are all present at the 1951 new years party as well as the 1952 new years party

there are three christmas episodes, two of which bj is present for even though he should only have spent one christmas in korea

details of people's families and lives shift around - sometimes potter's got multiple grandchildren, sometimes he only has one, sometimes its a girl, sometimes its a boy, sometimes she's 5, sometimes he's 2

we're not the first people to talk about this either, here's a good video compilation posted a couple yrs ago of time loop moments

overall ive been using the time loop thesis to add another layer to my mash viewing experience. it increases the already present sense of constant dread, anger, frustration, and disgust with their situation that the characters feel, plus it feels like a very poignant take on the united states' constant warmongering and violent existence. it really never ends, it just goes on an on. the future's been canceled by the war department- we're just gonna replay the past.

#shut up aggie #mash #might add more to this later

[kitashousewife]

be mine

an: heehee happy valentines day! there is still more to come so don't worry i'm not stopping here

pairings: timeskip!atsumu x fem!reader

warnings: little angst, lots of fluff, lots of pet names, confessions of feelings

-

the steady drum of volleyballs hitting the hardwood floor distracts atsumu's thoughts for a while. soles squeaking, teammates shouting, and the tune of the coach's whistle bouncing off of the walls. he's finally out of his head.

but, as always, the regular discussions in the locker room pull him right back in.

"how long has it been? three months? and you still haven't asked her out?"

atsumu hums, shutting his locker and giving hinata an exhausted look. "yeah, since before christmas."

"what's the hold-up?" bokuto pats atsumu on the back with wiggling eyebrows. "is little 'tsumie afraid?"

that makes him irritated. he knows he should have made things official weeks ago. the badgering isn't helping, though.

"shut up," he huffs and hides a frown with the hoodie that's pulled over his head. "until ya get a girlfriend kotaro, i don't wanna hear shit."

bokuto whistles. "okay, okay. but seriously, what's the issue?"

atsumu thinks for a second. he's honestly not really sure. he's been meaning to, he just can't find the right time.

but, he's pretty sure that's just an excuse.

"you don't have an excuse miya," sakusa smirks as they walk towards the parking lot. "i agree kotaro, i think he's scared."

"no!" atsumu quips, a little quickly. "i mean, i don't know. i really don't know. i want to, i just...can't."

"is it her? does she want to? are you getting mixed signals?" hinata rests against the hood of his car.

"no, she's always happy to talk to me. she gets excited to see me, buys me dinner, and responds immediately. she's perfect."

"soooo," sakusa raises his eyebrows. atsumu sighs.

"i just don't want to disappoint her."

his stomach flips. he's thought about it for months at this point. he wanted to make you his before the first date was over. but, his past got in the way, clouding his confidence just a touch.

past girls using him for the little money he makes. some girls accusing him of spending too much time at volleyball, and not providing enough attention. others just in it for attention, lusting after the instagram posts and twitter updates with their faces in them.

atsumu wants you to be his, and he doesn't want you to leave.

"atsumu, it's been three months. i think she knows you by now. besides, if she was interested in you for the wrong reasons, wouldn't she have left by now?" bokuto's words help atsumu to relax a little.

"yeah, yer right. god, what do i even do? i feel like a fuckin' high schooler," he whines, throwing his bag into his car.

"you're in luck. valentine's day is tomorrow, which means you have the perfect reason," sakusa slides into his car. "c'mon miya, where's your romantic side?"

atsumu thinks about that the entire drive home. he doesn't know what to do. he considers taking you out to a nice dinner, somewhere fancy and luxurious. but, reservations have probably been booked for months. he thinks about using a card, but that's lame. really, he wants to call you for advice, just like he does with everything, but that won't work.

he throws himself on his bed with a sigh.

maybe he'll never ask.

little does he know, you're in the same boat.

sitting cross-legged in the middle of your bedroom floor, you look like an art project gone wrong. glue sticks, markers, and different shades of pink cardstock litter the ground hiding the failed cards and notes from before. you sigh, putting the finishing touches on what you hope to be the final product.

a small, pink card with a bumble bee and hearts with the words bee mine in shaky cursive underneath. you're still deciding what to fill the inside with.

you don't want to say too much, but you also want to make sure you get your feelings out. it's been almost six weeks, and atsumu still hasn't made things official with you. you see him at least three times a week, he takes you to dinner but never calls them dates. he invites you to parties, event dinners, and even took you to his cousin's wedding last weekend.

what's taking him so long?

as soon as you see the clock on the wall, you groan. atsumu should be here any minute, and you haven't written a word on his card yet. he asked you if he could come over tonight, saying he was dying to see ya. since it's the night before valentines, you decide this may be your only shot. you quickly scribble something down, hearing his footsteps through the thin walls of your apartment. quick hands shove the evidence into a garbage bag before you scurry to wash up.

"honey, i'm home!" atsumu sings as he opens the door. "wait! close yer eyes!"

"why should i listen to someone who just entered my home without permission?" you say, eyes firmly closed from your spot on the couch.

"yet, ya listened anyway huh?" he teases when you flip him off from the couch. "keep em' closed pretty. i'm not ready yet."

your heart beats a little quicker. "o-okay, but i have to tell you something."

"alright sweetheart. just a second," he grunts, tripping over the strings of the five heart balloons that he holds in his left hand. he shuffles over to you at sets down a container of chocolate-covered strawberries (that he had to beg osamu to make), and a dozen roses. you smile when you hear the crinkle of cellophane.

atsumu's stomach is doing flips, but he can't do this anymore.

"okay, you can open." his voice sounds a lot more nervous than he would've liked. when you open them, he can't quite read your face.

"atsumu," you breathe. you aren't sure where to look.

"i know, it's a lot, but listen," he flops down next to you, grabbing your hands in his. "i didn't want to be lame but, i just wanted to tell you."

"okay," you ease him on. he takes a deep breath, before smiling wide.

"i think that ya have got to be the most beautiful girl i have ever seen in my life," he looks at you with hearts in his eyes. "from the moment i met ya, i wanted to make ya mine. i want to be the one ya come home to after a long day, i want to see ya in the stands during my games with my jersey on," his cheeks get a little pink.

"i want ya to be mine. my girlfriend."

"atsumu," you breathe, just like before. this time is a little more shaky, but with a bigger smile. "i want to be yours. i want you to be mine."

he laughs running his hand through his hair. "really?"

you nod, holding his face in your hands.

"really," you smile, pulling him in for a kiss. atsumu doesn't pull away until he absolutely has to, wanting to drown in this moment and keep it forever.

"baby, i don't think ya know how happy i am right now," he really can't stop smiling, no matter how hard he tries. he feels like a weight has been lifted off of his chest, amazed at the instant relief he feels after telling you.

"you didn't have to do all of this!" you pull at the balloons, watching them bounce off of one another.

"yes i did! plus, ya gotta try one of these. my brother made 'em and they're amazin'." you reach down to grab one, but he stops you.

"let me grab one!" you giggle, but he smirks.

"what's in your hand?"

you freeze, forgetting all about the card that rests between your fingertips.

"nothing."

"oh c'mon angel, lemme see!"

you shake your head, but he persists.

"why not!"

"because it's stupid, especially compared to all of this!" you gesture towards the flowers and berries.

"please," he begs, giving you a large pout. you roll your eyes.

"fine, but save the comments for yourself. i worked really hard on it."

atsumu pulls the card from it's envelope slowly before giving a quiet gasp.

"i know, i know, it looks like a preschooler did it. just give it back and-"

"are ya kidding me?" he practically shrieks. "this is goin' straight on my locker. 'gonna tape it right to the front."

"are you serious?"

"mhm," he hums, smirking when he reads the inside of the card.

happy valentine's day atsumu. you're the most handsome man i've ever met, and the funniest too. i hope that you will "bee mine" once and for all.

"what's so funny?"

"nothin', i'm just thinkin' that you might have a crush on me."

you roll your eyes, scooching a little closer to him on the couch. he wraps his arms around you and plants a kiss on top of your head.

"for the record, i have a crush on ya too. a huge one."

#heidslovesickevent #atsumu x reader #miya atsumu x reader #miya atsumu x reader fluff #atsumu x reader fluff #haikyuu fluff #hq fluff #hq x reader #haikyuu x reader #miya atsumu #atsumu miya

[short-honey-badger]

Peppermint Tea 10

Late night post! Couldn't sleep! Have some tooth rotting fluff!

Masterlist

The days dragged on, Mihawk actually busy for once with Navy orders to investigate a new emergence of rookie pirates at the edges of Doflamingo's territory. The world leaders knew that the pink moron would rather turn a blind eye to any criminal activity in his region. 

Even with his experience with much of the Grand Line and the New World, it still took Dracule a few days past a month for him to even return back to Gloom Island. He found that he missed you terribly, to the point that even Perona had pointed out his less than stellar mood. Not that he was ever really expressive anyway. Mihawk ignored her questions as he packed his ship once more for another week of travel. 

Perona floated after him, a scowl on her pretty face, “You just got back, and you're already leaving again? Why? What about me?” 

Hawkeye rolled his eyes, “I have a life outside of this castle, Perona,” he groused out and carefully stacked the books he had mentally chosen on his way back to Gloom Island. Last time he had seen you, you were particularly interested in the Blues. One of the thick tomes he'd picked would be a perfect gift for you. 

“You didn't three months ago,” She snapped back at him and crossed her arms in a pout. She hated being ignored! What was she supposed to do all alone in this dreary old castle? Zoro wasn't here to entertain her any longer. 

Dracule sighs, sweeping his hand through his hair and leveling the ghost girl a look, “It's rude to dig into other people's business. So stay out of mine,” He points out and then closes the bag full of books. Another smaller satchel rests at his feet, though that one is full of small trinkets from his foray into the New World. 

Usually, he strayed away from the market stalls and overpriced jewelry, but a small wind chime made of green sea glass had caught his eye. Dracule had paid for it without looking at the price and then continued on his way, unconsciously keeping a lookout for anything else that he thought you may like. 

The warlord may or may not have ended up with a few more than he had even meant to buy, but Mihawk thought about the look of joy that would cross your face at his gifts, and pushed the thought of how many he'd gotten away. 

“Well someone should be in your business! You've been so sneaky, Dracy! I want to know what you've been up to!” Perona demands again with a huff. She doesn't care that it's rude to butt into his business. He took care of her, let her stay on Gloom Island, and hadn't kicked her out like she knew he could. Perona would look after him, too! 

“Give it up, Perona,” Dracule grumbled, tone final as he picked up both bags and slung them over his shoulder. He fixed his hat with his free hand and then marched out of his study without a word to the floating pink girl. 

Mihawk wouldn't lie and say that he didn't feel at least the tiniest bit bad for lying to Perona. He did care for the girl, in a way like one would a stray cat. But she also had a big mouth, and Dracule had already slipped up once with Shanks. He couldn't do that again. 

The ghost girl pouted behind him as she followed the warlord all the way outside and to his ship. A frown took over her face when she noticed that he was packed as if he would be gone for a while. The ship looked more crowded than usual, and she wondered what Mihawk had stored away. 

“Well. How long will you be gone for?” Perona asks quietly and tries not to let it show how upset she actually was with Dracule leaving already. 

The older man sighs, stepping off his ship to trudge back inside the castle, “I won't be leaving until tomorrow. The trip takes around a week. I plan to stay for at least four days and then a week trip back,” Dracule says and makes sure to keep everything as vague as possible. He glances at the young girl and rolls his eyes when she still looks upset. 

“We will go shopping when I come back. Will that appease you?” Mihawk asks, and it's like a light switch. 

Perona grins in excitement. Shopping with Mihawk means getting whatever she wants. The warlord had more than enough berri to spend. 

“Fine! But I want to go to the best places, Mihawk! You owe me that,” She demands and crosses her arms in a huff, ready to argue her case if denied. 

“As long as it keeps you quiet,” Dracule says instead, and Perona just sticks her nose up in the air again as she floats away to her room. This wasn't over! She would find out what had suddenly taken all of Mihawk's attention. 

Dracule watches the pink girl leave with a fond sigh. He sits in his chair and reaches down to retrieve a bottle of wine from inside his desk. He pops it to let it air and then pours himself a careful glassful. Mihawk admires the red and thinks back on how this same brand of wine had stained your pretty lips. 

Now alone, the warlord allows his mind to drift without worry, eyes closing as he thinks back to the last time he was with you. His overly romantic thoughts have him sneering at himself, as if he were some prince come to sweep you off your feet. Dracule sips his wine. 

He likes to think that it's the other way around. For the most part, life had before a melancholy bore to Mihawk. Either following the government's orders to look for a good fight or nap the day away in his ship. Little caught and held his attention, but you? You are an entirely different story. 

Mihawk had never met someone so sheltered, only knowing of the world through waterlogged books and from the kindness of any pirate that may have washed up on your beach. From what Dracule has gathered, he has been one of the very few who hasn't tried to kill you. 

You were kind and intelligent. He loved the way that your eyes would light up whenever he spoke of what he knew, always excited to acquire more knowledge. Mihawk found that he wanted to teach to show you everything that he knew. 

He frowns suddenly and thinks back to the rather innocent question that had made anger and panic race through him. You wanted to know about him, not his knowledge, and it made him antsy. You didn't deserve to know the hardships and pain that he has gone through to get to where he is today. You did not need to be aware of the atrocities that he has committed over the years. Dracule Mihawk is not a kind man, and his past certainly reflects it. 

Mihawk would tell you more in time, but for now, Dracule wanted to be selfish. Wanted to hoard you away from the world and keep you safe like a dragon would its treasure. And maybe that is what you were to him. A pirate needed treasure, after all. 

The warlord finishes his glass and then stands, intending to fix himself and his ward dinner. He would leave at first light tomorrow morning, not later than that. 

~~~~~~~~~~

Hank whines at your feet, big puppy dog eyes catching your attention from where you sit slouched at your kitchen table. It's been a month and a half, and still, there has been no sign of Dracule. He had promised that he would be back, and the man didn't seem like the kind to break those, but it still made you worry for him. 

Was he okay? Did whatever business he had to attend go bad? Did a seaking attack him and somehow get the better of him? You have no idea, and your chest hurts at all the horrible possibilities that could befall your friend. 

Were you friends? Did that term apply to the two of you? The few romance books that you'd been able to cobble together didn't make it seem like the two of you were just friends. Was he your boyfriend? Partner? Lover? Again, another countless item that you did not know, however, you resolved to amend that when Dracule returned. Whenever that may be. 

“I know, Buddy. I'm sorry that I'm being such a sad sap,” You lament to your pooch and lean down to give the shaggy dog a scratch under his chin. 

Hank's woofs at, and you watch in suspicion when his ears suddenly snap back, and he wheels around to start barking at the front door. You frown as you get up and follow him, curious as to what got Hank's attention. 

That frown turns upside down when the door opens, and Dracule Mihawk strides in like he owns the place. He sets down several bags and pats Hank's head with a soft smirk before the mutt’s attention is caught by something outside. He bounds away, leaving you and Mihawk staring at one another. 

“Snow Angel,” He begins and takes a half step forward, but that's as far as he gets before you slam into him, Snow exploding around the two of you as you bury your face in his chest. You don't even care that his cross necklace is digging into your face. 

“You're back,” you cry. And when did that start? Oh, we'll. You pull away and wipe your eyes, though you can't help the tremble in your bottom lip, “I was worried that something might have happened to you.” 

Warm, calloused hands close around your freezing face, and Dracule leans in to rest his brow against your own. The feather on his hat tickles your face, but you ignore it, not taking your eyes away from the beautiful yellow ones that demand your attention. 

“There is little out there that could truly hurt me, Dear one,” Mihawk says in such a sure tone that you have no choice but to believe him. He strokes your cheeks, wiping away your tears with a soft smile meant only for you, “Though I do appreciate the thought that you worried for me so.” 

You sniff and send him a glare at his teasing. Damn this man and what he does to you. What you hardly understand. 

“You're really that strong?” You find yourself asking him, and lean back to observe his chiseled physique and the sword on his back. A funny feeling shoots through your stomach when you lay eyes on the cross guard, and you frown at the negativity of the emotion. 

You're so focused that you don't notice Dracule's hesitation, though you are quick to tune back in when he speaks. 

“I am. One of my proudest titles is the Greatest Swordsman in the world,” Mihawk admits, and you can't help but think that this is an important event for him, and you delight in knowing that he was finally giving you a peek inside of who he really is.

“It sounds like you've worked very hard for it,” you say softly and reach up to cup his hands with your own, thumbs swiping gently over his knuckles.  

“I did, still do. It is a title that I will happily defend,” Dracule murmurs and slips a hand free so that he can curl his arm around your waist. You shiver at the warmth he emits, and finally feel like you can breathe properly once again. Before you can comment further, Mihawk is twisting the two of you around and backing you up against the door, “Enough of that. Do kiss me, sweet thing. I have missed your taste.” 

Your back hits the door, and then his lips are upon your, closing over your own in a heated exchange that has one of your hands sliding into his hair and pulling him closer. You kiss him back like your life depends on it, opening up for him when Mihawk's tongue licks the seam of your lips. A choked moan leaves your throat when that hot muscle sweeps inside and curls around your tongue. 

Dracule slows, this kiss turning less frantic with need and more passionate, soft pecks of the lips that still leave your heart racing but in an entirely different way. He leaves one last lingering kiss to your cheek and then pulls away to tuck your head under his chin. You take advantage and cuddle close to him, arms dropping to wrap around his waist. You hum when his grip on you tightens. 

“I missed you,” you murmur quietly, and Dracule kisses the top of your head. 

“I know, dear. I longed for you as well,” he says, and your heart flutters at his words. Did he long for you? Did he pine like the men from your storybooks? 

“Wh-What are we?” You ask before you can stop the damming words coming out of your mouth. You flush and bury your face in the crook of his neck, “I know that we're friends, right? But I don't think friends kiss and, um, touch the way we do.” 

Dracule listens to you babble, finding it endearing that you wanted his opinion on this.

 “You can call what we have whatever you like,” He decides on and then catches your chin to lift your face and place a quick kiss to your lips, “But no matter what you choose, you are my treasure.” 

You can't find any kind of words to say to that, so you just reach for him to pepper his face with kisses, giggling when his facial hair tickles your face. Mihawk allows your fun for a whole before he puts a stop to it by flicking you in the forehead. 

“It's later than I intended to arrive, Darling,” Dracule scolds with a smirk and turns to the two of you around and gently pushes you to the kitchen, “You remember how I showed you to properly open a bottle of wine, right?” 

You laugh and dance into the kitchen, gathering the glasses that he had brought from last time and showing him that you did remember his instructions. You haven't touched the dangerous red liquid since that night, but you know that Dracule enjoys having a glass or four in the evening. 

The two of you settle in the living room afterwards, and Dracule sets his wine down long enough to retrieve the smaller bag. He opens it up, and you watch in growing panic as Mihawk pulls several boxes out of the drawstring. He hands over the largest of the parcels. 

“Open them, please,” Dracule instructs, and you set your own mug away to carefully tug at the delicate purple ribbon that holds the box shut. A gasp leaves you when you take the lid off, and you reverently pull out the beautiful green sea glass and delicate metal tubes attached to the fishing line. 

“What is it?” You ask and raise it up to better examine it in the setting sun that streams through your window. You gasp in delight when you hear the melodic echo at the slightest movement. 

“A wind chime. We can hang it wherever the wind blows most,” Dracule suggests, and you nod eagerly as you set the chimes back inside the box for safekeeping. Miahwk takes it away only to replace it with another. 

You end up with a fish bone comb that has been chiseled by masterful hands. A full sand dollar that you are extra careful with, and a large piece of red glass from a broken bottle that has been sanded and polished to a shine. Each item is handpicked just for you. 

Dracule looks like a smug cat, lips tugged up in a smirk as he watches you reverently put away your gifts. You agree to hang up the wind chime in the morning and open his arms for you to fall into. You gladly do, holding Mihawk close and not ever wanting to let go. 

It's quiet between two of you, a comfortable air that puts you at ease. At some point, Mihawk takes up the book, the one that you had read to him from, and begins to read. His soft timber is enough to send you into a light doze, and he slows to a stop, not wanting you to miss anything. 

“Darling, if you are so tired, let's get you to bed, yes?” Mihawk murmurs and rolls his eyes when all you do is give a sleepy nod. He shifts forward and then stands with you in his arms, tracing the now familiar path back to your bedroom. 

Dracule tucks you in, content to leave you for the night, but he doesn't get far before your pitiful voice rings out, “Stay here with me?” 

The warlord is already sitting on the bed and tugging his boot off. You watch with squinted eyes as Mihawk reaches for his belt, sliding it out of the loops and sliding his pants off. You admire his lean form dressed only in black men's underwear. He is radiant, and it makes you a little nervous to have him so undressed and in your bed no less. 

You toss back the blankets and Dracule slips in beside you. It's a little awkward at first, but then you can feel how much heat he is radiating and desperately wants to know how it feels to have so much of his exposed skin touching you. You roll over to face him, smiling in the dim light of the moon when you realize that he's been watching you the whole time. 

“I know you're cold,” Mihawk whispers, and you can hear that knowing, teasing tone that you have missed so much. “Come here, Snow Angel.” 

You don't have to be told twice, happily closing the distance and tossing your arm over his waist, head pillowed on his chest. You press your freezing feet against his legs and are treated with the rare sight of his eyes going wide and a hiss like a cat escaping his mouth. 

You snicker and get pinched in the side for your trouble, but you can't bring yourself to care. This night couldn't get any better. 

@writingmysanity @kenkenmaaa @foggyturtleknightangel @browneyedhufflepuff @djbumblebee @goth-mami-writer @myradiaz

#fanfic #one piece #reader insert #fluff #dracule mihawk #hawkeye mihawk #mihawk x reader #opla mihawk x reader #opla mihawk #mihawk x y/n #mihawk x you #peppermint tea

[luvhughes43]

because i liked a boy | jack hughes x reader

summary: reader gets hate comments from her ex-boyfriend's fans, saying she's a homewrecker and a slut, all because of the fact that she dated jack hughes.

lyrics: "now i'm a homewrecker, i'm a slut, i got death threats filling up semi trucks, tell me who i am, guess i don't have a choice, all because i liked a boy"

word count: 0.3k

note: something short! also i am not shading olivia i love her!

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jackfan01 HOMEWRECKER!!!

jackhughes ❤️❤️

jackfan02 two hearts only? oh he hates her😭😭

jackfan03 ur such a slut like… broke a whole relationship up and for what?

jackfan04 i think they were already broken up tho? 

yourbff cuties💓💓

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jackfan05 SLUT! you’re so disgusting.

your dms were filled to the brim with death threats, people calling you names such as a slut and a homewrecker. all because you dated jack hughes… it was ridiculous. by the time your pictures started circling around the internet, blown up on tiktok and strewn across twitter, you and jack had already called it quits. You were only together for a few months, and that was a while ago. 

you sat on your couch trying to understand his fans' messages. you went through jacks instagram, and found nothing. so you turned to twitter, where you found out that jack and his new girlfriend had just broken up… and people were blaming you for it. it literally made no sense. apparently she was posting things on her insta that made it look like he cheated on her with you? you didn’t even know what the truth was at this point. all you knew was that people were very angry at you about a situation you didn’t have any part in.

a few days went by and the rumours were still circling. people were going absolutely crazy in your dms, and you debated reaching out to jack so he could get his “fans” under control but you knew he wouldn’t. it wasn’t his fault either though! how was he supposed to get people to stop sending threats? asking for kindness never works.  so you vowed to not to post anything on social media for a few weeks, slowly watching the threats and name calling trickle down as the days went by.

finally after everything had settled, you decided to finally post something to break your silence. the whole thing was so ridiculous that you’d laugh if you weren’t a little concerned over some of the threats.

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yourusername all because i liked a boy

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#sabrina masterlist #jack hughes fic #jack hughes blurb #jack hughes x reader #jack hughes one shot #jack hughes imagine #nhl imagine #nhl fic #nhl fanfiction #nhl blurb

[bewilderedbuck]

Devi vs. David: aka a comprehensive list of every single time ben gross has referred to devi as one or the other (season four edition)

HERE IT IS!!! the final edition of devi vs. david!!! if you're new here and haven't checked out any of my other devi vs. david deep dives, please feel free to check them out here: season 1, season 2, season 3. you can also find all of my devi vs. david ramblings here. and as i've said again and again and again, this is a list of every single time ben refers to her as either devi or david, this time in season 4, with context + insight + my own lil insane thoughts, because i'm 100% totally normal when it comes to this topic (they said, like a liar).

heads up, not all of the netflix captions are accurate, or the whole quote wasn't all in one frame, so if the font looks different in any of the following screencaps, it's because i captioned them myself.

i already noted in previous analyses, as well as in this post, that ben tends to go for “david” during their rivalry and their friensdhip, as opposed to when they’re estranged/fighting etc and when they're in more...well, romantic situations, he defaults to “devi.” i’ll go a little more into this towards the end, but it’s just something i’d like to bring to your attention before i get started.

anyways, here we go!

hmm remember when i predicted we would get a “devi” first this season because of the months of distance and miscommunication? and when i thought it would happen immediately after devi sees margot kiss ben? i may not have had all the details right, but i saw this coming from a mile away. and this also fits into the pattern i thought was going to be established: season 1 we get “david” first, season 2 we get “devi,” season 3 “david” and now in season 4 they’re finishing the pattern with another “devi.” they’re in wildly different places in their relationship in each of these instances, which i go more in detail about in this post where i predicted that we would get a “devi” first this season.

anyways. this use of “devi” has me hurting for both of them. they’ve got this - this chasm of months of distance, of zero contact, of miscommunication and misread feelings and misrepresented actions (“he was clearly embarrassed for me.” vs “it was so clear she that thought it sucked. she got up and sprinted out.” i love my two unreliable narrators devi vishwakumar and ben gross!!). i’m having a lot of thoughts about devi’s intentions here that i…probably won’t go into further detail about, lol, because this post is about ben. so. of course he reverts to “devi” here - they aren’t friends, right now. they aren’t really rivals right now, either - i mean, they always will be, of course, but that’s not the focal point of their relationship here. they’re talking for the first time after three months of radio silence, of ben creating this rift between them because of some bullshit advice after misrepresenting what happened (okay like. i’m not here to hate on ben - i just. it’s his fault. it’s literally his fault). he can’t call her “david” because, as i’ve said before, “david” has turned fond. they aren’t friends, they aren’t rivals, they aren’t lovers. so, “devi.”

(didn't include the first "devi" he says to get her attention in this scene, sorry.)

okay this is. basically bouncing off the last one - he can’t call her “david.” they aren’t close enough for that, not right now - they won’t be for some time this season. but he’s also trying to set the tone of the conversation, a more mature version of the one they had in the beginning of the episode. and i do applaud him for this, for owning up to all of this being his fault, too (which. i don’t think all of it was, honestly - there is blame to be placed on devi and on margot over what happened this episode, but the 3 months of no contact? ben’s fault, 100%). big props to him for apologizing. however still a little salty about him internalizing those words from mr. basketball player all those months ago, because dude did not have all the info when he gave ben that advice. but to be fair - ben is a seventeen year old with low social skills (not faulting him for that because like. same) so i sympathize with him a bit there. overall, based on where they are in their relationship in 4x01, i was really pleased with how this convo turned out especially since the spoilers we were given from the premiere made it look so much worse than it really is.

hm. remember how that last convo of theirs was pretty mature and low-conflict. yeah then they give us this. ben’s…exasperated. within reason, i think - and to be clear i don’t think devi’s really in the wrong here, it’s just…he chose to be with margot because he thought it was the easier route. he distanced himself from devi because he thought it would be easier. but it’s not. of course it’s not - he and devi both still have all these messy feelings for each other that they’ve been pushing down and suppressing and denying. and it’s tiring. being around devi while he’s “““moving on””” is tiring. being sucked into drama over and over is tiring. he wants - or thinks he wants- something calm, and easy. -and like. it would be fuckign easy if y’all just got your shit together and admitted your feelings but that comes later so we’re moving on for now-

okay so. as i’ve said in my previous posts, it doesn’t make sense for him to refer to her as “david” to other people when she’s not around, so we’re not going to explain why he said “devi” here - that’s a given. but this whole scene…he kinda let devi get into his head before talking to margot. like, from the characters’ point of view, not ours, it definitely seems like margot had the most motive to deface her car. i mean ben straight up says, “you did have a good reason, so i could understand why you might.” and this isn’t me digging at devi for thinking margot did it, or ben for second-guessing margot, or anything like that - it’s just like. objectively. it does seem like margot could have done it. so i get where ben’s coming from.

okay so…we know that that is. false. a lie. an untruth. et cetera. bouncing back to the first instance of “devi” in 4x02, this, once again, makes me think that ben is just…trying to make things easier, calmer. he doesn’t want to deal with devi’s drama right now (again, not dissing devi, just explaining his pov). interrupting her with, “listen, devi,'' to get her attention, to shut her up because he just…can’t do this right now. he’s conflicted - he cares about devi so deeply that it’s detrimental to him at times, and after the events of 4x01 and 4x02, he thinks the best thing to help him keep “““moving on””” (bc like. i’ve touched on this before but there is no moving on for him when it comes to devi) is to go back to silence and estrangement. back to how they were over the summer. back to how they were in those few episodes of season 2, even, just with less vitriol. so, “devi” to further that distance - earlier in the episode, he says, “we are friends,” but here, he’s all but saying, we can’t be friends, not anymore. not now. maybe not ever again.

following this up with:

the thing is…he does look sorry. he doesn’t want to lose her again. it hurts her, yes, but it also hurts him. but like i said - this is easier for him, for right now at least.

oooh this brings me back to 2x08, “devi, you’re daisy.” ben, currently dating a girl that’s not devi, while still having all these complicated feelings for her, relating her to the material they’re currently studying, after she almost became the reason said girlfriend had to leave sherman oaks (temporarily for margot, of course, but still) - it’s not an exact copy/paste, obv, but i’m loving the parallel. also brings me back to 1x02, “it’s okay, devi. i know how hard it is to memorize seven facts,” the same tone being used then as it is now - although with different intentions, of course. ben is - bitter, i would say. of course he is. this whole situation is just…really reminiscent of that 2x05 to 2x07 arc, although with a bit less anger - they’ve got not just their rivalry and (currently, failed) romance behind them, but also those months of real friendship they had during season 3. there’s even more history between them to contend with now, which makes it harder for him to be angry with her. he still is - just not to the same extent as the s2 aneesa situation. 

remember when i said ben stopped talking to her to make it easier? yeah. i honestly totally forgot he says exactly that until i got to this scene while writing this out. “it’s just easier this way. she just always complicates things.” just - ouch, ouch, ouch. this is just me reiterating everything i’ve already said, i guess. does he want to push devi away right now? no, i don’t think so. but it makes things less complicated for him. devi is messy, yes, they’ve established that well over all four seasons - but this isn’t really about how messy devi is, is it? he tells margot that it’s because of devi, and it is, partially, but it’s also because of him. because he and devi clash. because he and devi mesh. because, at least right now, it is so hard for him to separate all these things he feels - angry and disappointed, yes, but there’s this - wistful, i want to say, feeling there under all of that, this pull he’s always going to feel with her. and he’s not in a place where he can let that go unless he cuts her off.

god i do feel for ben here. i wish they had brought back some of the stuff from last season with him…chilling out more when it comes to academics and all that, but like, this is ben gross we’re talking about here - one intestinal blockage and heartfelt convo with his dad isn’t going to erase over a decade of self-set high expectations. dude is stressed, literally sweating through his clothes and now he looks like someone squirted a bottle of french’s on him.

and amongst all this, comes the last person he wants to talk to right now - he smells like sweat and acrylic paint and he just had his girlfriend judge the spiel he’s probably recited in the mirror a hundred times (which like, in all fairness to margot, it did feel like a bowflex commercial). and now here’s devi, all calm and collected with her power blazer and bouncy high pony - looking like the opposite of what ben’s feeling. he’s already frustrated, and her showing up makes it that much worse - until approximately two seconds later when she saves his women’s medium sized ass.

episode 5’s you never disappoint do you. i love, love, love this conversation between ben and devi - this vulnerability here, the way they tell each other that they’ll be okay, that yes, this is scary. our lives are about to change forever - but you’ll make it through. you’ll survive. you’ll thrive. 

and this line…this so much. ben knows who devi is, has been in proximity to her for twelve years at this point, as a rival, as a friend, even as a lover for a short stint - and he knows her, and he knows that she knows herself. maybe - no, definitely - she didn’t know who she was before, drowning in fresh grief, but she’s grown, she’s healed (not completely, but she has healed nonetheless), and ben has had a front row seat to that. he has watched from up close as she became the person she is now. he believes in her, and he knows she can believe in herself, too.

i promise i’m feeling so totally normal about this…remember when i said i thought the first “david” would be at the end of 4x05 during reconciliation? i do, and, surprise surprise - i was right, because ben gross is nothing if not consistent (most of the time, at least). this “david” is driving me insane. they just had this heartfelt discussion about their fears with going to college, reassuring each other that they’ll be okay, fucking…pep talking each other, because they know each other better than they know anyone else, and ben drops a “david” like it’s nothing. like it’s easy. like he means it!!! i’ve said so many times that “david” has turned into this term of endearment almost exclusively used during their friendship, with ben avoiding using it when they’re not friends, and after last episode, where it had been verbally established (by devi, at least), that they still aren’t friends…now he slips a “david” in. this is the closest, the most vulnerable, they’ve been with each other in months. this is ben taking that step to pull them even closer - ben feeling safe enough to do so. this is ben saying, “i can be your friend,” thirty seconds before he actually utters those words.

okay full disclosure, “david” isn’t in the official captions on this one, so like, idk if jaren decided to add this day of filming or what - but whatever. that doesn’t matter here. what does matter is this absolute effortless slide back into their friendship. ben going out of his way to approach her, to tell her the good news (well. it’s not really good news for devi but like. he doesn’t know that, so). he’s excited for her!!! he gives her this boost of confidence (and yes i know it doesn’t last long, what with the deferral email coming in that day but. still.)

ooooh the way i love this scene!!! the fact that we get to see this interaction through paxton’s eyes is just delightful to me. like, okay, i’m not a “he’s mean to you so he likes you!!” kind of person, but banter like this coming about while they’re actively friends and post-bargot (bengot? ragross? ykwim) breakup…it’s thinly veiled flirting, and idk if we would have been given that perspective if this scene had been shot from devi’s pov, or ben’s. while this isn’t the first taste of mutual banter we’ve got all season (looking at you, 4x04 bathroom scene), this is the first friendly mutual banter, and god we were starving for it - at least i know i was. there’s bite behind their words, but it’s playful for both of them!! but like - then there’s the shot of them both immediately fixing their appearance after they’re no longer in each other’s line of sight (ben tucking in his necklace, devi taking off her cardigan) and i just. ooooh my god i love it. i’ve said it before, and i’ll say it again - peak crush behavior. and ben isn’t even posturing for paxton here like he would have before, thanks to the literal shitstorm of 3x06 - ben’s only…well, acting up, i guess i would say, for devi. not anyone else. 

(and like this is totally unrelated but god do i wish we got more bexton interactions this season, but oh well.)

hi yeah no i’m still not over this scene. it’s. so unapologetically horny and it’s a side of ben i’m honestly so glad we got to see. like, okay, we already know he messed around a little with shira, had (bad) sex with devi, and is canonically a boob guy, but this more in-depth peek at his desires (cough cough degradation kink cough cough) is just…chef’s kiss. yes this is devi’s show first and foremost but god do i love the looks into ben’s brain we get. and this - this desire for devi, this want for her, something he can’t run from in his subconscious no matter how hard he runs from it in his waking hours - yes, it’s a wet dream, but it’s more than that. trent says it: “...you really love her.”  ben loves her. he can’t get her out of his head. he wants her - physically and emotionally.

let’s, for now, ignore that this is moments before disaster. god, the look on his face, this eager, hopeful smile, the fucking bouquet he brought for her. he’s riding the high (ha, get it) of trent’s earnest pep talk, ready, for the first out of multiple times this season, to tell her he wants her. he’s done denying it, to himself and now to her, too (which. the latter obviously doesn’t really happen for another few months - but that’s beside the point).

this instance is pretty self-explanatory from ben’s pov (i mean, that’s what y’all are here for). checking in that she’s okay after seeing her throw up, congratulating her, etc. not spending too much time on this one - just noting the, once again, effortless slip back into “david” after the events of last episode. not saying there’s not some inner turmoil going on for him regarding his feelings for her; even though we can’t see it, it’s still there - but birthdaygate (as nalini called it) was…a disaster, to put it lightly, so. back to “david” it is…for now, at least.

god this followed immediately by the “is she okay?” and then ben rushing off to go check in on her…i’ll touch on this more in the next instance, but like. he’s truly the only one who gets how much this would hurt. not saying that no one else understands how devi feels, but he’s the only one who would really, truly get it if the same happened to him. just - the wondering how she didn’t get in anywhere, because she’s just as smart as (and, technically as 4x10 proves with that valedictorian sash, smarter than) him.  the immediate concern for her, the need to check in...god, he cares for her so much.

“But you’re not a quitter.” bringing back the “no one knows them better than they know each other” thing - because it’s true. no one knows devi better than ben knows her. he knows what she’s capable of - has been on the opposing side of it for over a decade. he has won against her, lost against her, won with her, lost with her…he’s seen her rise and fall and pick herself back up to rise again. he understands her, and he understands why this is so painful for her - if it were him, it would feel like twelve years of hard work, of early mornings following sleepless nights, of flash cards and meticulous notes and extra credit projects, all being flushed down the drain. he gets it, gets her. this being the first use of “devi” (to her, and not in a dream sequence) since 4x05 - he uses it to set the tone, to get her attention, to get her to listen to him. because he knows she doesn’t really want to give up. and he as much as says that: “but if you don’t try everything that you can, you’re gonna regret it.” she already knows this - there’s no doubt in my mind about that, and there’s no doubt that ben knows that she knows this. she just needed to hear it from the one person who understands - and it worked. she does try - and, as we see in 4x10, she succeeds.

this…this is the biggest break in his pattern when it comes to “devi” vs “david.” he never refers to her as “david” with a - romantic isn’t the exact word i’m looking for, but it’s the one we’re gonna use - romantic intention. i think he’s using “david” here to sort of…ease the tension, so to say? to lighten the mood a bit. he wants to tell her - has wanted to since trent told him to speak his truth, likely longer than that. but after birthdaygate - he doesn’t want to show too much of his hand. “maybe i was wrong, david.” not “i was wrong, devi.” 

feeling especially attached to this use of “david” tbh. the excitement he feels for her, immediately rushing to pull her into a hug, how proud he is of her, especially after the events of the last episode. again, he knows how hard she’s worked for this, and he knows what it’s like to feel all of that hard work pay off. she’s not alone in feeling this satisfaction - he’s feeling it with her.

 i loved, loved all the callbacks to the previous seasons, and this is no exception. the addition of “david” here brings me back to this post by @catty-words that i’m still thinking about almost two years later (and have referenced in 2 out of 3 of these analyses): “it’s a relic from their rivalry.” obviously cori goes into it a bit differently in that post because it’s about their season 2 arc, but to re-work that line here: the equatorial guinea nametag (i would say plaque but like. it’s a piece of paper) is a memento of their first time teaming up, but it is also a relic of their rivalry in a way - the initial anger of devi infiltrating his club, the temporary alliance that was struck down just hours later, the nuclear attack. and so, yes, “david” here is used as that mark of friendship, as i’ve referred to it before, and so is the nametag, but they’re also both a representation of their enmity - albeit in a much more playful way than the "david" from 2x05.

i’m going to refer you to the genius of rae @ice-sculptures real quick, who had this to say in regards to ben’s patterns when it comes to what he calls her: “it could be that he “hides” behind david when the lines of their relationship are blurred and uses it as a way to convey the affection that he doesn’t think he can openly express. but when they actually get together he doesn’t need to hide anymore bc he knows that she’s aware of how much he loves her…so devi is enough.”

y’all. devi is enough. he doesn’t need to use a term of endearment, a pet name, with her here. he doesn’t need to hide behind “david.” and like. just in case you aren’t aware - “david” means “beloved” in hebrew. i’m sure ben’s aware of that - he’s a giant nerd, and he’s jewish - it never gets established in canon, so it may just be something we’re all collectively reading into, but like. i’m obviously going to continue reading into it - he doesn’t have to hide behind “beloved” anymore, he doesn’t have to use this roundabout way to tell her how he feels - he can just say it. and he says it without even knowing if she feels the same way. he’s following trent’s advice from 4x08: “you must go to her. [...] you must tell her how you feel. there's no time to waste. [...] you must speak your truth. she needs to know." he flies to her on a whim to tell her he likes her. actually, he thinks he loves her, “devi.” he loves her. this is the bravest thing he’s done - he doesn’t know how she feels, doesn’t know if she loves him back - but he tells her anyways. he can’t wait. it doesn’t matter that she’s flying to the east coast the next day, where she’ll be a two hour and six minute train ride away. he has to tell her now. there’s no time to waste. she needs to know.

god. i just - i love that they already had this - this whole soft, sweet love confession, full of shy, gentle smiles and giggles, followed by The Big Damn Kiss of All Time (and like. the big damn bang of all time) and he still feels the need to tell her that he wants to be with her. that he wants to start this next chapter of life with her. and there’s just…something so important to me about them not being high school sweethearts. about them not really giving this an actual shot until they’re headed to college. he doesn’t want “let’s kiss at our lockers in between periods and sit next to each other in the cafeteria while we eat gloopy square-shaped pizza.” he wants “let’s fall asleep on facetime during exam season. let’s spend one weekend in new york and the next in new jersey. let’s meet in the middle. let’s cram ourselves onto a twin-sized dorm room bed that’s definitely not made for two people. let’s learn how to be adults together. let’s give this a real try. let’s give us a real try.”

and so they do.

and with that...we're done. if you've reached the end, thank you for reading! i'm so sad that this series of posts has come to an end, but i've had an absolute delight doing these, and i'm so pleased with the ending of this show - because it didn't feel like an ending. it felt like a new beginning. i'm going to miss never have i ever (i already do), but i'm so happy to have spent the past few years yelling about it with all of you - and i'll likely continue yelling about it in the near future.

#long post #ben gross #devi vishwakumar #benvi #ben x devi #devi x ben #never have i ever #nhie #nhie s4 #never have i ever season 4 #devi vs david #went a little off the rails with this one but like. can y'all blame me they make me fucking insane #anyways pls validate me i spent so much time on this <3

[astrxsee]

FALSE GOD chap. 2

(chap 1) (chap 2) (chap 3)

percy jackson x child of demeter!oc

𝑰𝑵 𝑾𝑯𝑰𝑪𝑯 Rose St. Claire sets off on a quest to save the goddess in chains.

𝑶𝑹

𝑷𝑬𝑹𝑪𝒀 𝑱𝑨𝑪𝑲𝑺𝑶𝑵 learns to see what is right in front of him.

!CONTENT WARNING! gore, romance, swearing, blood, heavy themes

a/n: omg! hi i love posting on tumblr so much?? like i finally wanna write again LOL anyways I can also take requests! only if you want anyways pls i hope you like the next chapter i PROMISE there will be romance but it’s a slow burn dw

also can someone please show me how to link the first chapter i cannot for the life of me pls and thanks

sorry for the delay yall fr i just have to be in the right headspace to write im so sorry anyways i hope you like it please feel free to give any feedback

also if you like it i would be happy to put anyone on a tag list as well <3

The clicking of heels against the polished floor grabs my attention, the game I was holding in my hand lays idly to the side. Bianca shoots me a nervous look from her seat next to me before peering up at the stern lady. The lady's grey hair was slicked back into a bun, her nose crooked, almost like a scythe. She did not look very nice.

"Bianca Di Angelo." She states, matter of factly. "I am here to take you, your brother," The woman shoots a pointed look at Nico, "And your... friend."

The look the mysterious woman gave was poisonous, her eyes daggers as she looked at me. Her nose sneered as she took in the surroundings of the casino. It was loud, I could tell she didn't like it.

"My name is Rose." I snapped, quickly rising to my feet. I cross my arms as her eyes narrow as she looks at me. I glare back at her, not backing down from her imposing stare.

She sighs and rolls her eyes muttering something under her breath, something along the lines of 'stupid demigods'. I feel Bianca stand next to me, putting a calming hand on my shoulder. She quickly steps in front of me, breaking my cold stare at the unpleasant woman.

"Excuse me, but are you here to take us to school?" Bianca asks, her head tilted in a curious way. The old woman nodded, a careless look on her face.

"Yes, now come, we haven't got any time to lose. Don't ask any questions." The woman says before turning on her heel to the exit of the casino. I cast a look over my shoulder to Nico, his face twisted in a worried look. His hands fiddled with a silver army soldier toy, as he glanced around at everyone except the lawyer.

"Are you sure we can't just stay?" A small voice speaks out from behind Bianca. The stern woman whips around to look at Nico, who looks like he was about to cry. The lawyer scoffs.

"Stupid boy. You three are too important to be kept here." She bluntly states. Kept here? Too important? Her words make my mind spiral. I cast a worried glance over to Bianca who also has a troubled look on her face.

I couldn't help the nervous feeling in my chest. My Dad had brought me here about two months ago. Now that I think of it, I couldn't really remember what he looked like, let alone why he left me here. Were we being kept here? I shake my head, trying to rid my mind of these troubling thoughts.

My brows furrow as I try to remember the events leading up to entering the casino. It feels like the memories are just out of reach, like a blank space fills the area where they used to be. All I could remember was the year; 1976. I didn't want to go back out there, I didn't want to face what was waiting for me on the outside. Surely, the police would still be looking for me. Most of all, I didn't want that... thing to get me.

I roughly bump into Bianca, who stopped in her tracks. Daylight poured through the open door of the casino, I could hear many voices and sounds coming from outside.

"Bianca, what the hell." I ask, my mind snapping back to reality. I glance up and all words are lost as I become rooted to my spot. The cars zoomed by in the road, hundreds of billboards lined the bustling streets. There were bright screens with neon words that I couldn't even understand. Where was I? All I know that this was not 1976.

"Hurry up, children. We haven't got time to loose." The lawyer snaps. I look over to her, my mouth wide open. Bianca and Nico still had their eyes glued to the unfamiliar scene, their faces contorted into looks of panic.

A feeling of anger rose up inside of me as I took steps closer to the woman. She didn't even flinch as I leaned as close as I could to her.

"Where the fuck are we?" I yell, my confusion getting the better of my rationality. My arms gesture to the enigmatic scene in front of me. What year is it? What happened?" My mind is running too fast that I can't comprehend one thought. Where were we? What happened while I was in the casino? Why did it look like we were in the future?

An annoyingly amused smile makes it way onto the lawyers face. She shakes her head and lets out a condescending laugh.

"Stupid girl." She began, her eyes bored, "I told you to not ask any questions." My eyes open incredulously at her dismissive words. My entire world had been flipped on its head and she tells me not to ask questions! The anger boils up in my chest as I stand there with millions of questions. I notice pink flowers start to pop up in the cracks of the sidewalk, I didn't care at this point. I couldn't control it.

"What year is it?" A soft voice breaks me from my confused spiral. Bianca, now looking over to the woman, asks, her face full of confusion. She then looks at me, her eyes filled with tears.

"2007." She bluntly states, rolling her eyes as if it was a stupid question. My hand flies to my mouth in shock as I hear the woman's words. 2007! I have been in that damn casino for thirty one years? I reel back, the realization finally hitting me. I shake my head, a feeling of sickness washes over me. This can't be happening.

The woman guides us towards a large black car. I had never seen a car so big and with so many seats! She motions to the driver to leave after we all file into the car. Nico looks completely lost, his hands still on his silver army toy.

"Now, you may be confused." The woman, Camille according to the driver, starts. I scoff at her words, my arms crossed as I look out the window. A growing feeling of sadness wells up in my stomach, a twisting sort of feeling. "I can assure you that you will be safe at your new school. We will be there shortly."

How much did the world change? Why does time pass differently in that casino? Why did my Dad leave me there? Thousands of questions circled around in my head, too many unknowns for me to handle.

I feel my breaths begin to quicken, my hands shaking. I fiddle with the pins and patches on my worn out bomber jacket, quickly grounding myself. I think of my hands in cold grass and a warm breeze blowing over my face. I breathe out a sigh, accepting of the absolutely crazy situation.

I place my hand over Bianca's, she breaks her stare from out the window to look over at me. I give her a reassuring smile and her hand a small squeeze. She gives me a small smile, telling me that she's okay.

"Okay, children, grab your things. We're here." Camille orders. She quickly climbs out of the car and starts making her way to the man standing outside of the ominous front doors of the school. I grab my green duffel bag and follow Bianca out of the car, Nico follows me slowly. I didn't even want to think about how scared he must be. We all follow Camille slowly, our necks craned up to take in the vastness of the school.

Standing on the pathway, there stands a man. He towers over my friends and I as we stand behind our lawyer. He gives us all a large, slightly creepy smile. His two different colored eyes almost seemed to glow as he looked at us.

"Welcome to Westover Hall. Your new home."

˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚

taglist: @cxcilla

#percy jackson x reader #percy jackson #annabeth is our friend #slow burn #percy will probs be in the next chapter #percy jackson x oc #percy jackson fanfiction #canondivergent #percy jackon and the olympians #percy pjo

[aihoshiino]

A Starter on B-Komachi Spotting

One of the things I most wish we knew more about in Oshi no Ko is B-Komachi - the peeks we get into their group dynamic in 45510 and especially Viewpoint B are always super interesting to me but in the manga itself, we get shockingly little info about them. We can't even match all their names to their faces! With a little sleuthing though, I've managed to identify three of the six unnamed members which should help us narrow down the remaining girls, with a bonus tinhoil hat headcanon that I'm going to finally table. With that said, let's give it a shot!

The No-Brainers

These ones are easy enough that I'm not giving myself any credit for them but I'm mentioning them for completion's sake. Hopefully if you care enough about Oshi no Ko to read this post you recognize Ai on sight, but did you know another B-Komachi member was identified by name too?

In the Episode 1 BTS video, some settei (concept art/animation refs) for the first episode's preproduction were shown and among them was a B-Komachi member.

At the bottom of the character turnaround, you can see the settei is labelled "めいめい" which is read as 'Meimei'. Case closed!

Interestingly, Mei is also namedropped in Viewpoint B and it stated to have written lyrics for at least one of B-Komachi's songs around when Ai was fourteen. Maybe we've got her to thank for Heart's♡Kiss?

The Deeper Digs

So, full disclosure – credit for this first ID goes to users thePermianwascool and ali94127 as they pointed out all these details in my Viewpoint B thread a few months ago. I'm just getting it all in one spot!

Viewpoint B, like 45510, is narrated by an unidentified B-Komachi member but we have just enough details about who she is in the story to put a face to her and it's the B-Komachi member in yellow with the penguin hairpin:

Her member colour is yellow

VB-chan left B-Komachi before the first gen disbanded and accordingly, Penguin Girl is one of the members missing from the final concert.

I don't think it's a stretch to call that one a slam dunk.

Interestingly, the fleeting connection between the Viewpoint B narrator and Ai is the heart of that sidestory and it meant enough to Ai that even years after that single conversation, she considers the narrator her closest friend in B-Komachi. And if you pay attention to the anime art, our Viewpoint B narrator suspect is almost always placed directly at Ai's side with a consistency that feels intentional.

Maybe Ai really did have a friend by her side all this time.

In addition to our narrator, Viewpoint B also identifies another B-Komachi member called Kanan. While this is not a name we've heard before, B-Komachi members are also referred to by fans by cute, affectionate nicknames in-universe. As such, it's possible that she is the 'Kyun' that Sarina refers to in episode/chapter 1.

The other identifying feature we're told about is Kanan's long, silky black hair. In the lineup there are only two unidentified B-Komachi members with long hair and only one with hair I would say reads as black to me.

The girl with the panda pin.

In addition, this post is mostly spoiler free but for Oshi no Sickos who are caught up on the current arc, here are some ROT13 filtered spoilers from the manga that make me slightly more confident in calling this shot.

Xnan'f ebyr va 15 Lrne Yvr vf na nf-bs-guvf-cbfg havqragvsvrq O-Xbznpuv zrzore. Va zber be yrff gur fnzr oerngu gung guvf cbvag vf rfgnoyvfurq, Xnan vf nyfb gurzngvpnyyl pbaarpgrq gb gur vzntrel bs cnaqnf juvpu jbhyq zngpu Xnana'f navzny zbgvs. Vg nyfb cebonoyl whzcrq bhg ng lbh jvgubhg zr fnlvat vg ohg abgr gur fvzvynevgvrf va gurve anzrf, gbb – Xnan naq Xnana.

Someone Stop This Girl Cooking

This part of the post is where I stray out of reasonable assumptions and into wild speculation territory but it's speculation I feel is backed up enough by the source that I don't want to entirely discount it. While this isn't strictly an ID, I do want to call attention to a character I think may be more important than she initially appears to be: the B-Komachi member in blue with the hamster hairpin.

Of the B-Komachi members, she is the only one other than Ai to have a distinctly fantastical hair colour - the other girls all have varying degrees of unnatural shades but Hampter Girl and Ai both stand out as having very distinctly 'anime' looking hair.

In addition, she is given a lot of passing but very notable focus but the anime's framing. She is one of the two other B-Komachi members who join Ai in the private performance of Sign wa B where the twins perform their lightstick dance and is the center of the trio of B-Komachi members we see at Ai's funeral.

Shun Sawai - one of episode 1's character designers and animators - also posted some official art that has her front and center of B-Komachi.

If these aren't just coincidences, it's possible she's being given some attention because she has some importance to the plot or the story as a whole. And why would that be?

As we've already established, Penguin Girl here is our Viewpoint B narrator...

So what if our Hamster Girl is the narrator of 45510?

If this is the case, that would make our Blue B-Komachi member one of the three founding girls paid homage to with Ai's passcode - Nino, Watanabe or Takamine. Picking entirely at random, I'm choosing to headcanon her as Takamine for the time being.

Keep in mind that this section of the post is strictly speculation of course! I just think it would be a nice fit.

#oshi no ko #oshi no posting #ai hoshino #hoshino ai #b-komachi #b komachi

[wordsandupstead]

Stay

Jay HalsteadxReader

summary: Y/n and Jay lost touch after high school, but run into each other years later. Y/n insists she doesn’t need help, but Jay’s detective instincts won’t let him let her go. 

words: almost 8k

warnings: unhealthy relationship dynamics, domestic violence, physical abuse, emotional manipulation, toxic relationships. 

a/n: i’ve been wrestling with this piece for weeks now, and i could go through and edit it probably two more times, but i’m going insane, and i want to post it so badly, so this is what you get. hope you enjoy, feedback is always appreciated! 

also this should go without saying, but please heed the warnings, there are some graphic descriptions of dv so please please do not read if this is a trigger for you. thank you. 

~

“Halstead, over here!” The voice is just loud enough that it cuts through the constant hum of the crowd and catches your attention. You know that name. You’d be lying to yourself if you said you didn’t still think about him, didn’t still wonder how he’s doing, or daydream about running into him since moving back to Chicago three months ago. 

Without realizing what you’re doing, you swivel around on the barstool, somewhat accidentally making eye contact with him in the process. The recognition crosses his face, mirroring the expression on your own. It’s really him, not his brother or another guy named Halstead. It’s him. 

“Y/n?” He says in disbelief, immediately changing his pathway and walking toward you instead of stopping at the table his friends were all crowded around. He approaches you silently, studying you, almost like he cannot believe it really is you in front of him, and you don’t blame him. 

“Jay,” You breathe. 

“You’re back in Chicago? How are you?” A genuine smile crosses his face as he stops in front of you, and you remember a day when you would give anything to be the reason for his smile. 

“I’m–uh- good.” Your eyes drift to behind him at the rowdy group of guys looking in your direction, and you know they are about to yell at him, to call him over, probably tease him for talking to you. “It looks like your friends are waiting for you.” You point out the obvious. 

“They can wait.” He responds, unfazed. “How long have you been back?” 

“My boyfriend and I moved back here a few months ago.” You force a smile onto your face, intentionally mentioning your boyfriend, knowing that is likely to end the conversation much faster. There’s something else you could say to end the conversation even faster, but you hold back. A part of you doesn’t want Jay to know your life now, to know what it’s become. Maybe he still sees you as the carefree teenager you once were, and maybe you’d like to keep it that way. 

“Oh, nice!” If Jay is shocked or disappointed, he show it. 

“Detective, get over here!” One of his friends, who already seems to have had more than just a few drinks, slurs in your general direction. 

“Detective? You’re police?” You can’t stop the surprise from coming through in your own voice. 

“A lot has changed, for both of us, I guess.” He says with a shrug and half smile. He taps his fingers on the bar in front of you, “It was good seeing you.” He says with a look of finality in his eyes. You have a boyfriend. He has to go celebrate with his friends. 

You nod, “You too.” And watch out of the corner of your eye as he makes his way to his friends. They shout as he enters the circle, slapping him on the shoulder and handing him a drink. The word detective keeps being thrown around in their group, and you deduce that he probably just got promoted, and they’re out celebrating.

“Who was that?” Sam asks, approaching you, while nodding in Jay’s direction. You silently curse, realizing he saw at least the tail end of that conversation, something you were hoping to avoid completely. 

“Just a guy I knew in high school.” You respond nonchalantly. Sam takes his spot on the stool next to you, resting one hand on your waist to show the entire bar you’re with him. He flags down the bartender with the other hand, never missing a beat. 

“You just knew him.” The intonation in his voice ensures this doesn’t come across as a casual question. 

“Yeah, nothing happened between us.” Not for lack of trying. You can’t help but think to yourself. 

It was just too much. Between his mom getting sick and dying and your far from perfect life at home with your mom and stepdad, there was no room for anything that would last. He left for the army the week he graduated high school, and that fall you were off to California for college. Things maybe could have been different for the two of you if real life hadn’t gotten in the way. 

“You’re lying.” Sam whispers, his voice so low and deep, it almost sounds like a growl. 

“I’m not lying. I swear nothing happened.” You turn meeting his eyes, silently begging him to believe you, to drop the subject. 

His hand tightens around your waist, and you have to stop yourself from visibly flinching.

“Sam, stop.” You whisper, scooting even closer to him, hoping for some relief under his grip.  

“He keeps looking over here. Maybe I should go talk to him.” It comes out sounding more a threat than a mere suggestion. 

“No, let’s just get out of here. It’s getting late anyway.” You slide off the stool, leaving even less distance between you two. 

He’s about to protest, but you interrupt, reaching out and resting your hand on his thigh, “Please, just take me home.” And you know what you’re insinuating and asking for at that moment. Even though it’s not what you want right now, it’s better than sticking around here and having Sam get in a fight with Jay, especially on the night Jay is celebrating his promotion. 

~

Things weren’t always like this with Sam. He wasn’t always this jealous or possessive. You were eighteen when you met him. You had just moved to San Diego from Chicago for college, and he worked at a vintage record store near the beach. When you went in the first time, just a girl exploring her new home, he immediately struck up a conversation. He was friendly and undeniably cute, and you couldn’t believe someone like him would even show an interest in you. Of course, you went back the next week. 

At first, he was just a guy at a record store, a friendly face in a crowd, but he quickly became the place you went when you needed to get away from the all consuming campus life. He was twenty three at the time, and not in college, so his perspective was different from most of the people you found yourself surrounded by on campus. He made you feel different too, grown up, and you liked it. 

Those first few months with Sam were truly a dream. He made you forget about everything you left behind in Chicago. He made you feel special and loved and valued. He quickly became your home, and you found yourself staying with him more nights than not. The early freshman friendships you had started just started to form slowly slipped away because you were spending all of your free time off campus with Sam. But those friendships would have just been temporary anyway, and you were serious about your future with Sam. 

From the very beginning, he talked constantly about the life you would build together, of the family you would create. He knew your family history and the hurt you had experienced at the hands of your parents, and he promised you a better future. He reminded you that it was you and him against the world, and when you were with him, you really believed that love was enough, that all the other stuff didn’t really matter. And maybe at first, nothing else mattered, but three months into your relationship, everything changed. 

He was picking up more shifts at the record store, just waiting for the next thing, some inspiration, some purpose to move forward. And you were studying hard and taking as many shifts at the coffee shop as possible. The first three months were amazing, but after that, everything started changing. It happened slowly at first, and you know you both had a lot going on. Everything was changing, money was tight, you moved in with Sam, dropped out of college to pick up more shifts at the cafe. You needed to save for the baby on the way. 

~

You’re working the register this morning. Two cups of cold brew have done little to offset the exhaustion you’re feeling. Sam was out late last night. He’s been having a hard time with his new job, so he went out to blow off some steam. By the time he came back, he was drunk and angry, and that combination never bodes well for you. Pulling your tired, sore body from the bed this morning at four am for the opening shift was harder than it has been in a while. You considered calling out sick, but being home with Sam seemed like the worse option. 

About halfway through your shift, the bell dings signaling a customer is entering. You look up and immediately regret not calling out sick. Chicago is a big city, and you had managed not to run into Jay again since that night in the bar two months ago, but apparently your luck has run out. 

Recognition crosses his face as he approaches the register with a beautiful brunette by his side, his girlfriend? You wonder before chastising yourself for even wondering. A smile crosses his face immediately when he catches your eye and recognizes you behind the register. 

When he steps up to order, his smile immediately disappears. His head dips slightly, green eyes clouded with concern. “Y/n, what happened to your eye.” His voice is low and gravely, and his stare is so intense it feels like it could burn right through you. 

The truth sits on the tip of your tongue, but a lie forms instead. “I accidentally walked into the cabinet.” 

“And got a black eye?” It's a simple question but you know what he’s not saying. 

“Yeah.”

“Y/n…” His voice trails off, but his stare remains so intense that you have to break eye contact. 

You keep your eyes trained on the register, “What can I get for you?”  

You feel the brunette’s gaze drifting between you and Jay. When neither of you say anything, she finally says, “Can I get a medium cappuccino?” She pauses and you pull a cup, writing the order on it before placing it down on the counter. 

“Anything else?” You look up, making eye contact with only her. Her eyes trail to Jay, waiting for him to order. When he doesn’t, she finally says, “And he’ll have a large americano.” 

He pulls out his wallet now, pulling a twenty dollar bill out and sliding it over to you before you can tell him the total is $9.43. “Keep the change.” 

Before you can protest the tip that is more than his order total or even thank him for it, he’s walking away. He doesn’t look back, so you call out a thank you, and force a smile on your face as the next customer steps up to the register. 

They get their drinks and leave while you’re busy with another customer, and you’re both relieved and disappointed that he doesn’t try saying anything else to you. 

~

The first time Sam slapped you, you felt the shock of the violent contact all the way to your toes. He had never laid a hand on you before, or even indicated that he would. Before you even had enough time to process what had just occurred, he was already closing the distance between you, wrapping his arms around your now stiff body, and exclaiming apologies. 

It was because he had a long day at work and you were whining about money. He swore it would never happen again, and he loved you. He loved you and the baby you were growing in your belly, and all he wanted in the whole world was to be a dad, to create a family with you. So you wiped your tears and let him apologize to you. 

The next time he hit you, baby Lilly was only two weeks old. He was sleep deprived because having a new baby was hard work and he still had to go to his shifts at the record store while you got to stay home all day. He was tired of her crying, but you weren’t sure what was wrong, and you were so tired yourself from doing all the night time feedings and watching her all day with no help. His mom and sister would come over occasionally, but that always felt like more work for you because you had to host them and make sure things were up to his mom’s impossible standards, so you preferred spending your days alone, waiting for Sam to come back home. Both you and Lilly cried together most days. 

It was hard at first, but Sam was a good dad. He loved to hold her and love on her. He always called her daddy’s girl, and he’s the first one who ever made her smile. She relaxed in his arms. She loved him too. That’s what you told yourself after he threw the plate across the kitchen, narrowly missing your face, and when he drunkenly hit you square in the jaw one night. 

He’s her dad, and he loves her. You knew what it was like to grow up without a dad. To grow up wondering why he didn’t choose you, why you weren’t enough to make him stay, and you didn’t want to take away a good dad from your daughter. You couldn’t do that to her, so you stayed. 

~

You’re not exactly surprised to see Jay on your very next shift at the cafe. This time he’s alone. You’re not working the register today, but he catches your eye and nods at you in greeting. You nod back and return your attention to work. You’re busy making drinks, but it’s not lost on you that he takes his drink and finds a seat near the window instead of leaving the shop altogether. He doesn’t attempt to talk to you, and he’s not even staring at you, but you can feel his presence, and you know him coming here was neither an accident nor a coincidence. You have been working at this coffee shop for two months and you never saw him once. For him to come in twice in a week has to have been intentional. 

Taking your break a little early, you slip out from behind the counter and approach him. “So is she your girlfriend?” It’s the only thing you can think to say, and his attention snaps over to you. He hadn’t noticed you approaching him.  

When he meets your eyes, he doesn’t even entertain your question. Instead, he calmly asks, “Is someone hurting you? Is it your boyfriend?” 

His direct questions catch you off guard, but you recover quickly. “I told you, I walked into a cabinet. You know how clumsy I am.” You try playing it off, already regretting not just ignoring him through the rest of your shift. 

“I don’t, actually.” He responds, not letting you off the hook so easily. 

“Jay, just drop it. What are you doing here, anyway?”

“Drinking coffee.” He answers, despite both of you knowing that’s not all he’s here for. You aren’t the only one who can lie. A quiet sigh leaves your lips, and you’re about to end this conversation and go back to work when Jay speaks again, “You don’t have to stay with him, you know.” His voice is softer now, not sharp or accusatory or demanding. 

That sentence, or his delivery, or just his presence in the coffee shop suddenly angers you. Jay’s jumping to conclusions, telling you what you can do, acting like he knows your life when he doesn’t. He doesn’t even know you at all, not anymore. He doesn’t know Sam or your relationship, and he has no idea you have a daughter. He doesn’t know the sacrifices you’ve made or how you are just trying your best. The only thing you can say is, “It’s not what you think.”

“I’m a detective, y/n.” He pauses, and you watch him silently as his jaw clenches and he visibly intentionally releases the tension before saying quietly, “I know you didn’t walk into a cabinet.”

It takes everything in you, not to raise your voice at him. “Forget it, Jay. I’m not going to argue with you. If you don’t want to believe me, fine. We don’t know each other anymore, and I’d really like it if you would just leave me alone.” 

You turn and storm through the cafe and into the break room in the back. You take the remaining five minutes of your break to calm yourself, and when you walk back to the front, the table Jay was sitting at is empty. 

~

Before Lilly was born it became clear you wouldn’t be able to manage attending college classes, working, and taking care of Lilly. College was obviously the first thing to go. You dropped out and moved in with Sam. Money was tight, especially after having to pay for everything a newborn baby needs. His hours at the record store kept getting cut, and he was spending more and more time at home. You tried to pick up more shifts at the coffee shop to make up for it, but Lilly was a fussy baby and it was hard for Sam to watch her alone too much. The truth is you worried about her being home alone with him for long periods of time, so you stuck to shorter shifts, spreading them out over the week.

There were more good days than bad days the first couple of years. Sam adored Lilly. You saw the way he softened when she was around, the way he gently held her in his arms. The joy in his face when he saw her take her first steps toward him and when she finally said Dada are two moments you will never forget. When things were good, they were really good. You had a perfect little family, just like the two of you had talked about. He had a way of bringing laughter and light into the room, and even Lilly would light up when she saw her dad walk through the door.  

Finding balance between work, taking care of Lilly, and trying to stretch the money as far as possible was difficult for you. Your support system in San Diego was nearly non-existent because you had barely begun forming friendships when you dropped out of college to move in with Sam. Since then, you hung out with some of his friends, but you never truly fit in. You were friendly with co-workers at your coffee shop, but you never had time to hang out or do anything outside of work because you always had to get home to Lilly. It became you and Lilly, the two of you, always. 

Things at home with Sam always felt like they were on the verge of falling apart. It was a constant guessing game about how he would be feeling when he walked in the door, and you never knew what to expect. There was no way for you to know when his behavior was so unpredictable. One day he would walk in and tell you that you were the love of his life. He’d shower you with kisses and tell you to have a bath while he cleaned up the dinner dishes and put Lilly to bed, and then a few days later he’d walk in angry that dinner wasn’t already on the table and he’d tell you how worthless you are how he can’t stand to be in the same room as you. The back and forth was exhausting, it left you constantly on edge. You worried about Lilly seeing him angry as she was getting older, so you did everything you could to make things okay, to smooth out the anger, to placate him. 

You thought about leaving. You thought about taking Lilly and just walking out the door, but you didn’t have any savings because all of your cafe money was going to just paying rent, buying necessities, and keeping food on the table. Every time you started to feel like you could get ahead, even just a little bit, something would happen to push you right back to having no savings at all. Truthfully, you didn’t have anywhere to go, and you didn’t really think you could leave Sam because you weren’t strong enough and you were afraid of what he would do if you left. You didn’t have any option but to stay.  

~

When Jay walks into the coffee shop again the next week, you have half a mind to ignore him completely, but unluckily, you’re at the register and can’t exactly ignore a paying customer who hasn’t really done anything wrong. Turning around, you almost ask Kate to switch with you really quickly, but she’s busy making a drink and Jay is already standing at the register in front of you. 

When you swivel back around to face him, he says, “I’m just here for a coffee.” He holds his hands up in mock surrender. You nod, staying silent and waiting for him to order. “Can I get an americano, large please.” You type his order into the register, and grab a cup to write on it.

He pulls his wallet out of his back pocket, sliding out a credit card. He inserts the card in at your prompting and looks up briefly while waiting for it to authorize. “I won’t mention it again. Like you asked.” He says, referencing the conversation you had the last time you spoke with him. “But if you need anything, anything at all, ever, this is my number.” He slides a business card across the table, Detective Jay Halstead written is written in large print across the front with all of his contact information printed in smaller font below. “Or walk into the 21st district and ask for me.” He holds eye contact with you for a few seconds longer than necessary before pulling his credit card from the machine. He pushes the business card a little closer to you on the counter and then whispers, “I mean it. If you want help, I will help you. You don’t have to stay in a bad situation. I will keep you safe.”

He holds eye contact with you for another second, and when you don’t say anything at all, he turns away, walking to the other end of the shop to wait for his drink. You take the card from the counter and slip into your pocket. You carry it around for the rest of your shift, finding some sort of comfort just knowing it is there. At the end of your shift, you drop it into the trash, not willing to risk dealing with Sam if he finds a detectives business card, and not wanting to think about the chaos that would ensue if he found out that the detective is the guy from the bar that he already accused you of being more than friends with. 

~

Lilly was three when Sam suggested moving out of San Diego. He had a friend who had a company in Chicago, and he was offered a job. You couldn’t believe the sheer coincidence of a job opportunity in Chicago out of everywhere in the US. You didn’t have many ties to Chicago either, since your mom and stepdad had moved to Florida after you left for San Diego and you barely had any contact with her anymore. 

Sam was convinced this move would be good for you both, and the more he talked about the potential and possibilities, the more you started to believe him. He swore you just needed a new start. Things had been getting progressively worse and worse at home for the past three years, and even he recognized something needed to change. The idea sounded great in theory, you would move and essentially start over. Lilly would start preschool there and Sam would work full time. With Lilly in school, you could get another job and work longer hours. You’d finally be able to stop living paycheck to paycheck, maybe you would even be able to buy your own house. 

The hope and potential for a new start carried you through the first few months in Chicago. Lilly started preschool and loved it. She would come home every day excited to show you a new drawing or letters she learned to write. You easily got a job as a barista at a coffee shop, already having years of experience, and with Lilly in school, you were able to take more shifts and work longer hours. 

You start to believe that the move to Chicago is what you needed to get your relationship back on track. Sam starts talking about saving for a house and having a second baby. At first, you tell him you don’t think another kid would be good because you just started being able to work days now that Lilly is in school. He reminds you that he has a good job now, and he wants to support you all. He wants to be the dad and boyfriend he always wanted to be. He starts talking more and more about marriage and a second baby. You finally agree with him to start trying for another baby because his requests are getting more and more frequent and telling him no only makes him angry. 

~

Jay doesn’t come into the coffee shop for another month, and you hate to admit that every time the bell jingles above the door on a slow day at the cafe, you look up, wondering if you’ll see him. You had started to lose hope that you’d ever run into him again, until he walks in one day. True to his word, he doesn’t mention anything. He greets you with a friendly hello, and orders his americano. He asks how you are as he waits for his card to authorize, but you only say you’re good, letting silence hang between you two, and he accepts the answer, not prodding any further. He thanks you before heading to the other side of the room waiting for his coffee. After getting his order, he catches your eye briefly and waves before leaving, and you replay those few moments over and over in your mind. There is something about his calming presence. You know you shouldn’t keep thinking about him, but you can’t help yourself. 

~

Sam wasn’t usually home in the middle of the day, but that day, he was. When you walked in after your morning shift, he was seated on the couch, and a warning sign already went off in your mind. You called out a hello, but he didn’t respond. When you walked over to him, you noticed the look on his face, and you paused briefly. You swallowed hard and continued trying to rack your brain to figure out what could have gone wrong.  

“Everything okay?” You settled on those words, hoping they were neutral enough to not set anything off. 

“No.” Came his gruff response. You didn’t move any closer, but you also didn’t back up. Your feet remained planted firmly on the ground halfway between the kitchen and the living room. 

“What’s wrong?”

“My girlfriend has been lying to me.” His eerie calmness caused your heartbeat to speed up. 

You wanted to ask what he was talking about, but before you could, he held up your birth control. Telling the truth would have been the best option, but lying felt like the only option at the time. “That’s old.” You immediately tried an act of self-preservation. 

In moments, he was up from the couch, shoving you backwards until your back hit the wall, followed by your head. His hand moved up to your throat and squeezed so you couldn’t say anything even if you wanted to.

“You’re a liar, a fucking liar. I found this two weeks ago, and I thought that it was just old, the one you were taking when we agreed you would stop. Tell me, y/n, why is it missing so many more pills now that it was then?” He noticed you were struggling to breathe, and he finally released you. 

You doubled over, gasping for breath, “I’m sorry.” Were the only words that fell from your lips. Over and over again. 

~

“Do you know him?” Your new co-worker, Keisha, asks you one day after Jay gets his coffee and walks out the door. 

“Hmm?” You question, snapping out of your trance. The last time you had seen Jay was about two months before, and you were starting to see a pattern in the way he popped up. He never says much more than hello, how are you? But he comes in every so often without fail, but it’s by no means frequent. You’ll see him once every couple of months or so, and then you wont see him again for a while. He doesn’t appear to expect anything, but you’ve started throwing a blueberry scone in for free with his basic americano order every time time he comes in. He doesn’t even put much effort into making conversation. He just comes in, buys his coffee, and leaves.

He has kept his promise to not bring up his concerns again, but sometimes you see it in his eyes, the way they take you in. Stopping on your wrist one day when it was bruised from Sam’s grip, and flicking back to your scarf the time he walked into the coffee shop after the incident with Sam and the birth control. Most people would see a girl in a scarf, especially in Chicago, and not think anything of it, but you know Jay is not most people, and you know he noticed it wasn’t just a fashion statement. 

“Do you know him? He’s cute, and really polite.” She repeats her question, bringing you back to the present. 

“What do you mean?” You ask, knowing that you were the one at the register when Jay walked in. It just seemed like an odd observation for her to make about someone she didn’t even interact with. 

She seems unfazed by your lack of answer, “He’s sweet. He’s been coming in a lot this this week. I think he’s a new regular. His names Jay.” She rattles off all of this information, not even realizing or caring that you never answered her question of if you knew him. 

“Oh cool,” You answer before you’re interrupted by a customer walking in, and Keisha walks off to continue making drinks. 

About a week and a half later, you find yourself on shift with Keisha again, and you ask, “Remember that guy, Jay?”

She pauses mid pour, plopping the milk gallon down and staring at you before saying. “I haven’t seen him since that time we saw him together.” Disappointment clouds her face. “I wonder what happened to him.”

You got the answer that you needed and you had kind of assumed in your heart. You almost want to tell her not to worry, she’ll see him again in a month or two, and if you’re not on shift, she might even see him a few times, but you keep that thought to yourself. “Yeah, I wonder.” 

~

Over the course of your nearly five year relationship with Sam, you had become an expert at reading his moods, remaining a step ahead, smoothing out emotions and diffusing situations before they could escalate. Sam’s job became more and more stressful, and you felt the tension at home escalating. Despite doing everything you know to do — cooking his favorite food, giving him what he wants, trying not to disagree with him — things have begun to feel more and more out of control. Sam keeps coming home in a bad mood, and it seems like nothing you do is good enough. 

Things haven’t been great, but they have been bearable, until tonight. You watched as your biggest fear came true. You watched him yell at Lilly when she interrupted him to show him a drawing she had made, and you cut in to interrupt, which turned his anger onto you. That was fine, that was what you were used to, and you thought everything would be okay again. Lilly had gone to her room at your request, and Sam had eventually stormed off to your bedroom. You checked on Lilly and she was drawing at the little table in the corner of her room, so you went to the bathroom to freshen up. 

The reason you stayed was always for Lilly. Despite how much Sam hurt you, he had always been a caring father who would never hurt his daughter. When you heard yelling from beyond the bathroom walls, you immediately ran toward the sound. Sam was standing in Lilly’s room. Her voice was the only one you could hear, “Daddy, I’m scared. I want Mommy.”  

Before you could get to her, he punched the wall behind her and shouted, “Shut up!” 

You didn’t think, you just picked her up and ran to the bathroom, locking both of you in there. She was crying and you were trying to soothe her while trying to calm your own racing heart and overwhelming thoughts about what to do next. 

When it finally became silent on the other side of the door, you took your daughter into your arms and grabbed your car keys and the bare minimum essentials you managed to quietly gather before sneaking out of the house. 

~

You threw away the business card he had given you over a year ago, but you never forgot his words, District 21, go there and ask for him. Those instructions were etched into your memory. Even back then a part of you knew that you’d need to remember that, a part of you knew that one day, when it was time, you would. 

With Lilly’s hand in yours, you trudge up the steps. It’s late, nearing midnight by now, and an older woman with a grumpy look on her face is shooing two officers away from her desk. You nearly lose your nerve and walk right back out, but you remember what happened just a few hours ago and you know you cannot go back, not now. You take a deep breath and step up to the desk. 

“How can I help you?” She asks, glancing at you briefly before looking away, and checking something on the computer, barely paying any attention to you at all. 

“Hi, I’m looking for Jay Halstead.” You say, unable to mask the shakiness of your voice. 

As soon as the words leave your mouth, her eyes dart toward you, looking you over. Your hair is hanging loosely around your face, covering the most recent bruising. You’ve done your best to cover everything else too, but you know you still look like a mess.

“Y/n?” She asks cautiously, and you’re taken by surprise. 

“How do you know?” You question squeezing Lilly’s hand a little tighter in yours, fear rising within you.

“Jay gave me a heads up. Said you might come in here looking for him one day.” 

All the courage it took to walk into this police station dissipates, and you immediately take a step back. “Never mind, a-actually. I have to go.”

“No, not so fast.” She stands from her chair and shuffles out from behind the desk. The forcefulness of her words and her purposeful movements keep you from running out the doors you entered through. She stops short when she comes around the desk, almost likes she’s noticing Lilly for the first time. She leans down, so she’s closer to eye level with her, “I’m Trudy,” She says gently. “What’s your name?”

Your four year old only grips your hand tighter, and you speak up for her, “This is Lilly.”

“Nice to meet you Lilly,” Trudy says without missing a beat. “Come follow me.”

She leads you up a set of stairs toward a gate. She types in a code, then scans her palm until the gate clicks. She pulls open the large metal gate, motioning for you to walk in first. Still holding Lilly’s hand as she looks up at you, you gently say, “Come on,” and start climbing more stairs, unsure of what you’ll find at the top. 

“No one can come in without authorization. And I’m sitting right downstairs watching anyway.” Trudy’s voice reassures you from behind. 

At the top of the steps, you’re met with a large room with desks scattered about in a somewhat organized fashion, but you don’t see anyone, most of all, you don’t see Jay, although you don’t know why you even expected him to be here. It’s midnight. Your heart is still beating wildly in your chest, and you’re wondering if you made the right decision coming here.

“They’re out on an investigation, but it’s probably best if you wait here.” She leads you through the room toward another room at the back. It looks like a standard break room. There’s a table, a couch, and a kitchen. “Make yourself comfortable, there’s water in the fridge, coffee right over there,” She motions to the half full coffee pot. “Mugs are in the cabinet.” She pauses briefly, her eyes raking over you again. Her voice softens, “Are you alright? Are you hurt?” You shake your head, not trusting your voice. 

“Does anyone know you’re here?” She asks, and you wonder what Jay told her. Instead of asking, you just shake your head again. “Okay,” She nods. “I’ll be right back.” She says before disappearing down a hall. You help Lilly get comfortable on the couch. “Mommy?” She asks. 

“Yes?”

“I’m scared.”

“I know, I know.” You whisper in response, smoothing down her hair. 

You pull her closer to you, and she curls into your side. You drape your jacket over her as she yawns. It’s past her bedtime. “Sleep, it’s okay.” You tell her and her eyes fall closed. 

A few moments later, Trudy returns, holding a few bags of chips and two cup noodles. She quietly places them on the table, “I wasn’t sure if you were hungry. If you need anything, just pick any of those desk phones and dial 1 and you’ll get me. Jay should be back soon.”

“Thank you,” You feel so grateful toward this woman who brought you up here and brought you food without prying or asking any questions besides if you were okay. 

“You don’t have to thank me.” She says before walking away without looking back. 

Lilly had fallen asleep shortly after Trudy left to go back downstairs so you’ve been alone with your thoughts since. There is a part of your mind still wondering if you should just leave. You almost decide to when you hear the loud gate open. Voices float up the staircase before you see anyone, and you pull your thin cardigan closer to your body. 

Two men appear at the top of the stairs, and you don’t recognize either of them. You’re not sure how you’re going to explain yourself to them. You hadn’t really thought of what would happen if someone other than Jay appeared. Neither of them seem to notice you right away, which is understandable since you’re tucked away in the break room. They both stop at different desks, until one of them notices and stops mid-sentence. 

“Hello?” He calls out cautiously, causing the other man to turn around too. He starts approaching slowly. “Who let you up here?” He’s almost standing in the doorway, and you can’t find the voice to answer when you hear the gate swing open again and footsteps stomping loudly up the stairs. “Y/n?” Jay calls, causing both men to spin to face him as he appears at the top of the steps. He jogs across the expanse of the larger room to stop in the doorway. “It’s okay.” Jay says, and you’re not sure if he’s saying it to the two other police officers or to you or to himself. He enters through the open door, turning and nodding at them before closing it behind him, and turning to face you. His eyes stopping on Lilly, who is just waking up because of all the commotion. He stares at her briefly before he looks back at you.  

“Platt said you were up here, are you okay?” He’s still taking in the scene in front of him, and you don’t blame him. 

You nod, “I’m sorry. I didn’t know where else to go.” 

“Its okay. I’m glad you came here, both of you.” He says, looking from you to Lilly and back at you.

“This is Lilly, my daughter.” You introduce her as though it isn’t already obvious that she’s your child. 

He crouches down a safe distance away, “Hi Lilly, I’m Jay.” He says softly with a small wave.

She shyly waves at him before scooting closer to you. He looks at her fondly, before shifting his eyes back to you again. 

“We can’t stay at home.” You say quietly, breaking eye contact. In that moment, with those five words, you know Jay is hearing all the things you refuse to say out loud. 

His voice softens. “I know.”

“I don’t know what to do.”

Silence passes between the two of you for a second before he says, “Take a deep breath.” His voice is calming, and you listen, inhaling oxygen into your lungs. When you breathe out a few seconds later, Jay whispers, “One more.” And you listen, breathing in deeply again. You feel calmer, just with Jay’s steady presence beside you. Suddenly, not everything feels as big and terrifying. You can feel Lilly relaxing in your arms, knowing she is about to fall back to sleep. You don’t want to talk about all of this in front of her, so you carefully scoot further away, balling up your jacket to place under her head as a pillow to replace your leg. By the time you stand, Jay has shrugged out of his jacket, and he’s holding it out to you, gesturing toward Lilly. You take his jacket and lay it over her body as a blanket to replace yours. 

“I’m going to be right out there, okay? Go back to sleep.” You whisper before leaning down to kiss her head. She barely responds, but you know she’s just tired. When you look back toward Jay, he’s already watching you. He motions for you to follow him back into the larger room, and he pulls out a desk chair for you. Taking a seat, you watch as he glances over at the two guys. No words are exchanged, but they politely excuse themselves. Jay grabs another chair and pulls it closer to you before sitting. 

He remains silent beside you until you finally speak up, “Now you know why I can’t leave.”

He pauses, his expression half pained and half thoughtful. You’re begging him to understand. This is the missing piece of information. This is the reason you’re tied to a man who has brought you more hurt than joy for so many years. This is the reason you didn’t tell Jay the truth last year when he walked into the coffee shop and saw straight through your lies. 

He shakes his head slightly, his green eyes meeting yours, “No, now I know why you have to.” He says this softly, kindly, and not in a pushy way. 

You shake your head. He still doesn’t understand. “He’s a good dad, Jay. He’s a good dad and he cares about her. If I leave, I’m scared he will take her from me.” 

“It doesn’t have to be that way.” 

“I don’t know if I can take that risk.”

“But you’re here. You came here tonight with your daughter.” He states this simple fact. “You took the first step.”

The tears start to fall silently, and you brush them away. “He’s usually so good with her. But she’s getting older, and—I don’t know. I just— she talks back sometimes. She’s like how I used to be. And I’m scared.” You messily brush your tears away. “I can take it. I’m an adult, but she—I don’t want him to hurt her.” 

“He won’t.” Jay’s voice is low and deep. You finally look up, meeting his eyes, and you can see the anger in them. Suddenly you’re scared all over again. You don’t know if this was the right decision. What if you’re running from one dangerous man toward another one. 

“This was a mistake.” You say, standing abruptly. Jay stands just as quickly. “I—we should go.” You start turning to the break room. 

“Y/n,” Jay’s voice stops you in your tracks. You tell yourself you shouldn’t, but you turn around anyway. “Think about Lilly.” When you hesitate and don’t move or respond right away, he continues. “You can stay at my apartment. I’ll take you there now. You can have the place to yourself, for as long as you need.”

You must look shocked or confused because he adds, “I can crash at my brother’s place.” He might not know the whole story or the history, but he’s already trying to make plans, trying to make things okay. He’s keeping the promise he made to you in the coffee shop all those months ago. 

Just a subtle nod is all it takes, and you’re scooping up Lilly in your arms and Jay is grabbing the one backpack you brought with you. The drive is mostly silent, and Jay leads you into his apartment, which is surprisingly clean. He gets you both situated, making sure you have everything you could possibly need. 

“Do you need anything else?” He asks, and you shake your head. He had already gotten you both towels, toothbrushes, and any possible toiletries you might need. He showed you the kitchen, letting you know you could eat anything you wanted. He put new sheets on the bed, pulled out blankets from the closet, and adjusted the thermostat so it would be warm enough. He made sure you had his phone number and that you knew you could call anytime. 

Lilly is already fast asleep in the middle of his bed, and he’s starting to head toward the front door.

“Do you want to stay?” You whisper, stopping him in his tracks and surprising even yourself with those words. 

His eyebrows knit together, and he tilts his head, like that option never even occurred to him. Finally he shakes his head, “I don’t want you to be uncomfortable. I can stay at my brothers. It’s really no problem.”

When he says those words and you know he is really about to leave, you realize you’re more afraid of him leaving you and Lilly here alone than you are of him staying. “I’ll feel safer if you stay.” You whisper. 

He absorbs your words, nodding before quietly saying, “Then I’ll stay.”

#Jay Halstead #Jay Halstead x reader #Jay Halstead fic #Jay halstead imagine #Jay Halstead fanfiction #Chicago Pd #Jay x reader #Jay Halstead x y/n

[afoolseyes]

Updated Pupil Designs & Headcanons!

aa sorry again for not posting!! School got really hetic but I graduated almost a month ago and now have some more free time to post again!^^

Anywho-- these are my designs for the pupils for the Scrybe of Magicks in Inscryption! I really liked drawing them when I first got into the game, but I hadn't drawn them in over a year so I wanted to refresh their designs a little and update my headcanons for them!

Also as a note, these are designs for kind of before they’re graduated students of Magnificus before they’re all given their final exams-

Goobert (He/Him)

Since your character finds the monocle in Goobert's room, I would like to think that he has iffy/poor eyesight and needs to get new glasses but keeps putting it off-

His hands are always pretty sweaty, so he always brings with him a handkerchief to wipe his hands before/after he does anything

His outfit in game is the only one that doesn't match the Pike Mage or Lonely Wizard's outfits, so I think that he might just be an older student of Magnificus or is of a higher skill of the other two

Pike Mage (She/They)

Doesn’t tell people often, but they have like— a really impressive collection of cool looking rocks that she will gift to people she likes

They have a lot of unique skills, some more useful than others like being able to wake up right before an alarm or be able to juggle random objects in their hands

Despite being seemingly the most composed out of the three pupils, the Pike Mage actually has a lot of anxieties and it used to be bad, but now it’s gotten to a better point, but that’s why they use mantras nowadays

Lonely Wizard (They/It)

Finds it hilarious to meet people for the first time while sitting down, only to stand up to their whole height to spook people (they’re pretty tall too, like between 6’7 and 7’7 apparently—)

While all the students are artists of different media, it doesn’t like to paint with tools and will just opt to using only their hands and feet to paint

It will remember very minuscule details about a person and will bring up said detail from time to time to that person, who might not remember the fact or even be aware of it which makes the Lonely Wizard happy

EDIT: alright, so I accidentally saved the draft version of this first instead of the finished one, so I had to rewrite my headcanons for both the Pike Mage and Lonely Wizard ;v;

#inscryption #digital drawing #art #inscryption fanart #inscryption goobert #inscryption pike mage #inscryption lonely wizard #pike mage #goobert #lonely wizard #headcanon #headcanons

[bookishtheaterlover7]

Hello, Fabulous Fans of the Fandom!!! It has definitely been a hot second.

Didn't post anything about their posts, and Pap walks, for the reason that I'm pretty sure they're getting ideas from rant posts like mine... Didn't want them getting more ideas, so no rant post.

But today, I'm making an exception. 😉

Before we begin though, 👸 wants to give y'all a small warning ⚠️

To start, let's look at this photo...

Is that who we think it is?

Is it?

Is it?

Nah, I'm just kidding. Don't worry if you thought it was Albitch, trust me, you weren't the only one 😆

Thank you, 👸 for handing me these screenshots 😁

"Funny how, Kim Kardashian's nudes made her famous. But when AB did it, to try and get attention, we constantly mock her for it."-👸

Girl! You've got a point 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Now that I have your attention, let's get to my main topic...

WTF has been happening lately?!?!

Well, for one thing, I know we're all tense one way or another about Valentine's Day. Since aside from being the most romantic day of the year, it's also the anniversary of the dreaded VDay photo dump.

And then there's the uterus-obssesed trolls from her side, expecting a baby announcement... Fuck y'all, by the way 🖕 which made me more tense about February 14.

But what happens a few hours before February 14 American time? Chris posts an adorable video about Dodger instead.

Still, that didn't help alleviate the tension. Because Dodger might help a little, but he's been used before, and it most definitely wasn't fun.

But then, it turns out Albitch isn't even in the same country. She flew to France with a bunch of friends. Friends who were seen to be posting to their boyfriends, saying how they missed them.

But why is Albitch's trip so important? Well, let me tell you. She WASN'T in the same country, when Chris just proved he's in Mass, and her friends' posts showed her WITHOUT her ring, in France.

Oddly enough, it was around this time, that photos of ringless-Chris-lookalike surfaced. The photos that were shown and sent to people/blogs that were guaranteed to get it circling the internet before the end of the day.

Seriously, are they slipping? Or was it deliberate?

Anyway, when Valentine's finally came, we were in the clear. Chris' Instagram remained silent, except for that one significant Dodger post.

Things stayed relatively quiet for a while, aside from the France trips making their rounds here and there. But it all came to a head earlier, when Chris posted on his story...

Further confirming how far apart he, and his dear "wife" really are. Who's been seen, eating out in France, still missing her ring...

I mean, really? Do y'all not eat out with finger jewelry? Is that another lame excuse y'all have for her?🙄

And three days ago, this article gets released... And the legitimacy is still up for debate, but the fact that it's here, feels like the perfect storm to me.

Not saying that it's the beginning of the end. But it's something!

Now, honestly, it's a mess in the Fandom. This whole thing is causing a shit storm, like always, and it's not pretty.

But whether or not this means something, we have to keep a level head. This could go either way. Which is why I, personally am taking the win.

Wins are few and far between right now, so, I'm taking it. And I'm also finishing two fics, and enjoying my book. Which is a pretty big deal, considering, I haven't been able to finish a book for most of last year 🥺

Thank you to my fabulous friends for sourcing me, and guiding me to the screenshots that allowed me to make my posts. Y'all truly are the best eyes and ears, a girl can ask for. 🫶

And please let me know, or feel free to add, if I forgot anything, guys😊

Until the next one!

❤️ Booky

#chris evans #chris evans fandom #booky reacts #alba baptista #booky's written works #seriously this is all kinds of possibilities #but I'll take it as a win #booky's rant post

[lackadaisy-headcanon-supply-unit]

Hi👋♡.

May I request one-shots Serafine Savoy and Nico Savoy with teen fem!Reader (Platonic) the Reader is a delivery girl she helps them all the time and of course they have to get her something for her hard work she do for them.

[ money maybe?]

{Love your blog by the way♡}.

Don't know how this turned into a spin-off, cat episode of something that feels straight out of Peaky Blinders, but here you go!

Get a job, Mother said. The world is changing and girls need to pull their weight, just how I did during the Great War.

However, when Y/N finally got one of course she wasn't too happy.

"An unpaid delivery girl? You could have aimed slightly higher, especially with that mind of yours."

Well, perhaps she wouldn't have been so picky if she realized her daughter didn't have much of a choice in the matter. No one accidentally ran into a criminals hunting ground and got out completely unscathed, in reputation or otherwise. Her own price to pay was becoming an uncompensated errand girl for a couple of no good kitties with sharp gazes, smiles and knives. A lot of knives, and guns too.

The option to refuse wasn't really on the table. That was a couple of months ago now.

Maybe Y/N should have realized sooner something about her job was shadier than she first thought. At first there seem to be nothing amiss. Y/N was asked to post letters, carry tattered and lightly but suspiciously stained clothes to and from the tailors. Small things she had no problem doing for free. They weren't too out of the way either; most of the shops and post boxes were on her way to school.

Her suspicions only really started when she was sent to pick up a suspicious-looking package from a derelict riverside cafe. It was just the one, and she delivered it without a hitch. Looking back she probably should have failed to do so; it would have certainly avoided the fear and stress that came when she was sent on a similar errand the week after.

Then it became every three days and sometimes even twice in one.

Mother was right: Y/N had a good head on her shoulders. She didn't need to peek into the boxes to know what she was carrying was less than legal. She was also well aware that if anything happened to the cargo inside she'd be dead, but she was also smart enough to know she could hand it over to the cops at any time. Who knows, she could end up taking down a major crime ring in St. Louis. She could become a hero!

Or…

She could beat her generously-loaded employers at their own game.

Y/N burst into the hotel suite, waving the letter high in her hand. "Delivery!"

The cloud of smoke hanging around the divans parted, and a carefully manicured, clawed hand beckoned her closer. "Merci, now give it here, cher."

For once, Y/N stayed put. "No."

"No?" The hand cleared the rest of the fog, and Miss Savoy's amber eye watched her, widening.

Those stares didn't scare Y/N anymore, not after working for them for months. She even took a step back. "No."

"Elle se prend pour qui?" Miss Savoy's brother growled, raising himself up from his seat. His cigarette hung limply from the corner of his mouth.

"Nico, laisse-la," Miss Savoy tutted. "Elle a du culot, c'est presque impressionnant."

"I'd like it if you didn't talk behind my back," Y/N bit out.

"And we'd like it if you hand over the letter like the good girl we know you can be."

Again, Y/N held it out of reach. "And I'd like to be compensated."

"Your compensation is us not killin' you for messin' up our gig," Nico pointed out.

"You gangstas might want to think of marking your territory better so a teenager doesn't fuck you up."

"She swears too."

They seemed almost surprised. Y/N decided to skip the rest of the pleasantries.

"Money."

"What?"

"I want money."

Nico and Serafine looked at each other. Then, he smirked. She grinned. They both fell about laughing, leaving a confused Y/N to ping-pong between them and scowl.

"What's so funny?"

They only replied to each other in quick snippets of French she couldn't understand.

"What is it?" she repeated.

"T'as perdu, c'est toi qui paye," Serafine smirked to her brother, again ignoring Y/N's questions.

Nico rolled his eyes and rummaged around in a nearby tin. "Bien joué…"

He held out a wad of cash—and by god it was more than she had ever seen in her life! He was essentially offering her her own small fortune, most of it likely made of blood money.

She didn't take it right away. "What's all this about?"

Nico shook the money in front of her eyes. "Bettin' to see how long it'd take you to man up and ask."

Y/N was dumbfounded. "Ask?"

"For payment."

So, they were saying everything she had done for free, every risk and every broken law…

"All I had to do was ask?!"

Nico cracked a sickening grin. "Yes, cher."

Yes. That was all he said, the only confirmation. She wanted to scream, she wanted to shout, she wanted to take that rifle off the wall and—

She snatched up the money with a frown, shooting daggers from her eyes. She handed over the letter. "I hate you both."

Nico's grin softened. "Hate you too," he said with no real conviction or the previous bit she knew he could give.

Almost as if he was trying to be her friend.

They could try all they liked, but they wouldn't get far.

Not now.

#🦉mod iphiko #lackadaisy #lackadaisy reader insert #lackadaisy & reader #nicodeme savoy #lackadaisy nico #nicodeme lackadaisy #serafine savoy #lackadaisy serafine #oneshot on the rocks #oneshot #aaaaah I'm burning myself out #let's gooo... :')

[fluffypotatey]

OK SO! the tommyinnit 101. technically this isn't really tied to an smp though.

so first we must start at the very beginning. the dream smp. in late 2020-early 2021, the dream smp was at the height of its popularity, and tommyinnit played one of its most prominent characters (tommy, henceforth referred to as c!tommy). now the thing about c!tommy is that both he and cc!tommy (idk if i've talked about the c! vs cc! divide before but that is its own 101) were under 18 at the time, and therefore if you shipped his character with anyone about 70% of the fandom would tear you apart.

honestly dsmp isn't too relevant here, though, except to introduce tommy and tubbo. you see, in a world of straight men using their little block guys to flirt with one another, tommy was Very vocal about loving women. being Straight was part of his Bit in the same way that being Annoying and playing the able sisters music from animal crossing was.

anyways in late 2022 he uploaded a vlog of him and tubbo getting married, tubbo mostly against his will. they pulled out all the stops- got an ordained minister (their friend scott, who you may recognize from the life series 101s) to do a little ceremony, had a lot of their friends acting as different members of the wedding party, even signed and filed real paperwork!

yep. that's right. they signed legal fucking paperwork. i've heard that tubbo didn't even know it was a marriage certificate, he thought it was a waiver for being in the video or smth. that's right, known straight man tommyinnit tricked his best friend into getting Real Life Legally Married to him, presumably just for shits and giggles.

This fact went unnoticed until mid-late 2023. tubbo was playing on the QSMP with some other people (i know FitMC, not sure who else), and was joking about going to Vegas and getting married to Fit. and then tubbo realized he was still married to tommy.

also, around that time, tommy wrote and published (to wattpad) a rpf crack fic called Tommy x Tubbo Love Triangle, where tommy leaves his Real Life Girlfriend molly for tubbo (molly dies directly afterwards because it was so romantic) and then he and tubbo kiss without tongue. tubbo was not consulted during the production of this fanfiction.

after learning about the marriage, tubbo started working to get a Real Life Divorce from his Real Life Friend Tom. tommy refused to sign the paperwork. if any of this ever goes to court tubbo fully intends to livestream the whole thing.

around 2 months ago, tommy did a parody of "I'm Just Ken" called "I'm Just Tom," in which he begs tubbo not to divorce him. it must be seen to be believed. idk if the link will work in an ask but i need you to see it https://youtu.be/laAPXcxjDlI?si=wPQM3ZJHBIv11Cfr

also if you're wondering how molly, tommy's Real Life Girlfriend, feels about all of this? she thinks it's hilarious. for the past month or two-ish (?), tommy's been doing a stand-up comedy tour in america (because they are all british), and at the same time tubbo's been doing a subathon (aka tubbathon bc it's tubbo) (a subathon is a twitch stream with a timer on it. the stream ends when the timer finishes out, and whenever someone subscribes to the streamer's channel more time is added) (the tubbathon is still going btw and isn't slowing down anytime soon). at one point molly came onto the tubbathon, and tubbo bought her a new phone bc hers was shit. (directly afterwards tommy posted a vlog about it, saying he felt like he was being cucked by his gay husband)

fans have dubbed these three the nightmare polycule, and it's not hard to see why.

and then, finally, this morning (last night in england time), tommy and tubbo were on a phone call. tubbo (gay) encouraged tommy to "say the f slur!" and tommy said, and i quote, "I'm bicurious, so I guess I could say like a fifth of it. [Tochat] Hear that, ya -ggots?"

i needed to tell you all of this so that you would understand the full insanity of all of this. there are some bits that don't really translate unless you were a dsmp fan in the 2020-2021 era, but i need you to see the ongoing insanity this man creates. he had been planning to use that joke for his live comedy show

ok uh

wow

i some pointers on his singing voice (a bit too belty there, that'll damage the throat later, some vowels need rounding)

hilarious that he rhymed Tom with arm

reading this was like a fever dream

molly is me tbh this is the most hilarious drama i have ever read

his comedic timing is beautiful

what the fuck

#chaotic man indeed #asks #smp 101 with gumy #smp adjacent

[clonesimpextra]

A Shattered Peace: Chapter 12

A Bit Like Home

[previous][next]

Pairing: Commander Wolffe x FemJedi!OC Word Count: 5.5K Chapter Rating: T Chapter Summary: Abregado, from Amara's POV. A/N: *Cries in six months since I last posted a chapter* Also available on AO3

Amara stared out the viewport of the Sagacious, an uneasy feeling in the pit of her stomach.

The Four-Fourteen were returning to Coruscant, finally, after a month of back-to-back missions. She should have felt relief, eagerness even. But that feeling, gnawing away at her insides, told Amara that something, somewhere, was very very wrong.

“You’ve run the systems check?”

Beside her, Commander Riv nodded. “Twice now, Sir. Everything’s working as it should.”

“And the scanners?”

“Nothing out of the ordinary.” In the corner of her eye she saw him turn toward her, but Amara stayed staring at the blue-white rush of hyperspace. “The Four-Fourteen’s fine, General.”

She pursed her lips. “I know.”

And she did. Nothing was wrong with her battalion. They were safe and well and on their way to a much deserved break. But that feeling … she’d never been wrong about that feeling before. 

Which could mean only one other thing.

Amara raised her wrist and keyed in a code on her comm. “Comet, this is General Kora. I need you on the bridge.”

*****

Three Weeks Earlier – Somewhere Outside the Ryloth System

“I appreciate your concern, Master Plo, but the Four-Fourteen and I have it handled.”

“Even so, I’ve sen—” the holo in front of Amara flickered in and out, breaking up Plo’s response. “He’ll arrive so—”

“Master Plo?” Amara fiddled with the frequency, trying to get his projection back on the table.

“It’s no use, Sir,” Flame spoke from the control port. “We’ve lost external comms.”

“Excellent.” She glanced around the room. “Anyone have a clue what he was trying to say?”

There was silence for a beat and then, “Not so much what he said, general, but a ship just exited the nearest hyperspace lane. ”

Amara turned to the screen Captain Hall was pointing at, narrowing in on the flashing beacon. “Is that an x-wing, Captain?”

“Yes, Sir, I believe it is.”

She shook her head. Overprotective and meddling men. That’s what the entire 104th was made up of now, she supposed.

“Captain Hall, try to figure out the communications issue and make sure it doesn’t cross over to anything else. I won’t have us completely cut off whenever the Seppies finally decide to make a move.”

“Yes, general.” Hall paused, raised an eyebrow. “Is that the ship I think it is?”

“Yes it is, Captain.” Amara sighed. “I hope we have a spare bunk.”

*****

One of the very first things Master Plo had ever taught Amara after she’d become his Padawan was to never be afraid to accept help. He’d taught her through his own actions, letting her assist him on missions or with tasks that he could have easily done on his own, liaising with other Jedi to solve problems Amara knew for a fact he’d already solved in his head. 

She’d questioned him about it once. When he’d let her lead them on a roundabout route across a seemingly barren planet and gotten them into a scuffle with the locals. Plo, gracious as always, set things straight and led them to safety within a standard hour.

“You could have taken over from the start.” She’d pouted, arms crossed and kicking at a patch of grass as they walked. “All my ‘help’ did was cause more trouble.”

“I don’t view it that way. Neither should you.”

Amara stopped in her tracks and stared at him until he turned to face her. “I almost got us killed.”

Plo chuckled. “Far from it, young one. The locals were merely curious. As were we.” He gestured to the area around them. “And now we know more about this planet and these people than we did before. Far more,” he tilted his head, “than we would have if I’d led us directly to our destination.”

Amara let her eyes wonder across the plains around them, pushing down the uneasiness at the way the grass against her calves echoed grass on another planet from long ago. She took in the purple blue sky, suns settling in the distance. It was a beautiful place. Still … “I didn’t plan this.”

Wrinkles appeared around Plo’s mask and she knew he was smiling. “When we accept help, we accept everything that comes with it. Expected and unexpected alike.” He turned to watch the setting suns with her. “How much more pleasant it is to view that with excitement at discovering something new than with trepidation about the unknown.”

As she stood in the hangar bay now, watching a maroon-striped x-wing settle into the space across from her, Amara tried to keep Plo’s words in mind. Help should be welcomed. Even if she didn’t need it.

Even if she strongly suspected Plo was relying on her remembering what he taught her so she wouldn’t be upset that he was being overprotective.

She grit her teeth and waited for the ship door to open.

When it did, and an all too familiar clone stepped out, Amara felt all the anger in her deflate. There were only so many people Plo could have sent that would have guaranteed a less angry response from her, and Comet was top of that list.

That didn’t mean she wasn’t still going to demand some answers, though.

She raised her voice to be heard over the hangar clatter. “He sent you before he even made the call, didn’t he?”

Comet took his helmet off, a grimace already visible. “The general or the commander?”

Amara blinked. She had meant Master Plo, but now that Comet mentioned it …

“This was Wolffe’s idea?”

“I didn’t say that.”

“You pretty much did, Comet.”

Comet scratched at the back of his neck, squinting over Amara’s shoulder. “It’s good to see you, General?”

Amara opened her mouth to get them back on topic, to remind Comet that as happy as she was to see him, she didn’t need a babysitter. But something in the clone’s voice stopped her. 

In all her time with the 104th, Comet had always been the calm, lighthearted, happy one of the group. The first to try and put a smile on everyone’s faces. His words just now fit that category, on the surface. But Amara could feel all was not exactly right. Not at all.

She tilted her head, took in the dark circles under Comet’s eyes. The too-thin lines of his mouth trying to smile, but not quite succeeding. “What’s wrong?”

He blinked a few times, not-quite-a-smile wavering for a moment before he pulled himself up straighter. “I’m just here to help, Sir.”

Amara didn’t buy it, not for a second. Especially not when she opened up to the Force and felt something hovering in Comet’s soft yellow aura that she’d never associated with him before: shame and hatred. There was much more at stake than he was letting on.

She stopped in the hallway, and, after glancing at the passing clones, pulled them into a quiet corner. Comet avoided her eyes as she put a hand on his shoulder. “I might not be your commander anymore, Comet. But I still know when something’s wrong.” She waited until he finally looked back at her before continuing. “And I don’t need to be your commander to still care, either. Wolffe sent you for a reason. I’d like to know what that reason is.”

Comet leaned his head back against the wall and sighed. “Permission to tell you once we finish this mission?”

Amara peered at him for a moment longer, tempted to remind him that secrets didn’t make for successful missions. She would listen, she would understand. But she remembered something Wolffe had said to her as she’d watched his brothers leave a small pile of helmets on a coral reef on Tibrin, before everything had gone to shit but after they’d already lost too many. She’d wanted to go to them, to share in their grief and comfort them. Wolffe held her back with a hand on her arm and just a few words:

They don’t need you to comfort them. They need you to listen.

So she swallowed back her words, let her hand fall from Comet’s shoulder, and nodded. “Permission granted. Let’s get you up to speed, yeah?”

Comet released another breath and the Force around him lightened, just a bit. “Yes, Sir.”

*****

Despite everyone’s worries, the mission — several tricky supply runs to refugees on the neighboring planets of Ryloth — went off without a hitch. And despite Amara’s concerns, Comet had been immensely helpful. He’d let the reconnaissance skills he was so well known for in the 104th take over during the mission, and if Amara hadn’t known better, she’d have said he was perfectly fine. It didn’t help that working alongside someone she’d trained with for months instead of just a couple of weeks was easy to fall back into.

So easy, that part of her almost wanted to leave it alone. To let Comet do what he wanted so long as it meant a part of the 104th could stay with her. And maybe that’s what Commander Kora, someone who never really had to make final decisions and could rely on others to pick up where she slacked off, would have done. 

But that wasn’t what General Kora, responsible for every soldier under her name, could let herself do.

When they entered hyperspace and left Ryloth’s nearest moon far behind, Amara found Comet alone in the training room, staring down a punching bag.

“You know,” she said, walking up to the other side of the bag, “I found Wolffe in exactly this position just before we last left Coruscant. Turns out he had a few things he wanted to say, too.”

“Guess it runs in the genes.” He nodded at the bag and Amara held it steady, bracing for his punches.

“I’ll take your word for it because I’ve given up trying to figure that one out.”

Comet landed his first one-two punch, eyes focused, mouth set in a firm line. Then he landed another. And another. And more until there were no breaks between the sets and Amara was relying on the Force to keep the bag from swinging into her face. She stayed in her position, regardless. Comet had something he needed to work through, and he was allowing her to exist in his space while he figured it out. She’d learned from Wolffe that such a thing wasn’t something she should take for granted.

Finally, when his punches came more slowly and his breathing evened out, Comet spoke.

“The last mission the Wolfpack was on …” he grabbed the bag and looked off to the side, the Force around him tense. “I fucked it up.”

Amara had assumed whatever was bothering him would have come from something like that. She’d looked up the mission report, chest briefly aching at the familiarity of Wolffe’s detailed writing. There had been trouble at the Nexus, a floating trading post on Quarmendy, and Plo had sent the Wolfpack to secure the planet away from Separatist control.

 She moved to his side and put a hand on his shoulder. “I read about the mission. Aside from the Nexus being destroyed, it seems like everything was a success. About as good as it gets these days, anyway.”

“Do you know how many people died in that explosion?”

“They weren’t able to gather exact numbers,” she let her hand slide away, “but Wolffe estimated about two dozen in his report.”

Comet nodded and stepped away from the bag, eyes still focused on the far wall. “It was my fault, the explosion. Said the wrong thing to Tambor at the wrong time.” He shook his head. “Those people … their deaths are on my hands. Most of them didn’t even have anything to do with the war.”

“The report didn’t say anything—”

“Yeah,” Comet laughed ruefully, finally looking at her, “Wolffe’s real good at not pointing any fingers. Said it was a ‘collective oversight’ so I wouldn’t risk getting a mark against me.”

Amara hesitated, crossing her arms over her chest and wondering what in the hells she could say to him. The clones were made for war, for battle, for casualties and hard choices. Despite how open Wolffe had been with her — and if she was honest with herself, he hadn’t really been all that open —, most of his brothers were good at hiding what their true feelings about everything might be. 

She wasn’t used to being on the receiving end of a guilty war-time confession.

She did, however, have some idea of what Comet was feeling. She imagined it wasn’t altogether very different from how she’d felt in the immediate aftermath of Tibrin. No one had been able to explain or excuse her guilt away, and she had a feeling the same would be true for Comet.

So, despite the fact that she knew Wat Tambor would have destroyed the Nexus regardless of what Comet did or didn’t say, Amara focused on something the clone could answer.

“Then why are you here, Comet? Wolffe wouldn’t send you away for something he doesn’t blame you for.”

“Believe me, he didn’t want to.” Comet hesitated, words coming more slowly. “I asked for a break.”

“But a break is—” Amara blinked as the reality of what he’d said settled around her. Anger took over her confusion and she ignored her previous determination to be gentle with him. “What the fuck were you thinking asking for that?”

Comet looked a bit ashamed but at least had the decency to not turn away from her. “Wolffe wasn’t too happy with me either.”

Amara took a moment to calm the rising anger and horror in her chest. Of course Wolffe wouldn’t have been happy. For a clone, ‘taking a break’ wasn’t a respite or a holiday or anything that resulted in some kind of calm. ‘Taking a break’ was being sent to Kamino for secondary duty, risking analyses and tests that could result in battalion transfer or sanitation duty or something much, much worse that the clones never even wanted to talk about. ‘Taking a break’ was effectively asking to be set out to pasture and forgotten about. How the hell had Comet come to this in the two months since she’d last seen him?

The same way you almost stepped away after Tibrin.

Amara closed her eyes and took a breath. She could see very clearly now why Wolffe had sent Comet to her rather than anyone else.

So instead of a lecture full of words that wouldn’t really mean anything, Amara sat down on the padded floor and gestured for Comet to join her.

“You know … I questioned everything after Tibrin. When I blew up that last reef? I wasn’t even thinking of the people on it. The only thing on my mind was protecting my men, buying us a little more time to figure something out.” She took breath. “I haven’t told anyone this. Haven’t even let myself think it, but … I could feel when they died. I was in the water, halfway back to our reef and everything around me just lost its color for a moment. The water wasn’t that bright turquoise, the corals weren’t that dusty pink. It was all grey.”

Amara replayed that moment in her mind. Could feel the waves rushing against her chest, the agony of such an abrupt loss threatening to pull her under. When she’d pulled herself up onto the reef, she’d acted like it was no big deal, just another action in the time of war that she’d swallow down. But it had taken everything in her just to turn her back on the destruction she’d wrought. 

“When one of you dies,” she finally looked at Comet then, saw him focused intently on her, “or one of the Jedi, I feel it. The loss, the pain. The freedom, sometimes. But nothing … nothing ever quite like that before. We got on the Resolute and I didn’t want to risk ever putting myself in that position again.”

Comet nodded, a rush of empathy coloring the Force around him. “What changed your mind?”

“Master Plo.” Amara smiled, thinking of the talk they’d had in one of the Temple gardens. “He told me the Republic need generals who learned from their mistakes and who genuinely cared. To take one more position away from those who might not.” 

“Do you ever wish you’d made a different choice?”

Every day, a voice inside of her whispered. But Amara wasn’t sure that was entirely true. Yes, she spent a few moments every day thinking on her choices. Thinking on the paths that led her to where she was. But that didn’t mean she regretted the life she’d committed to.

“I wonder if what I’m doing actually makes a difference. If what I’m adding that’s ‘good’ balances the bad.”

Comet sighed. “I know what you mean. I’m afraid of what other guilt I’ll have to carry around. Of what else this war will make me do that tips that balance in the wrong direction.”

“Then don’t let it,” Amara shook her head, trying to shake away the truth in Comet’s words. “That guilt you feel, Comet, it doesn’t have to consume you. Learn from it. Let it make you better. Let it make you even more of the kind of soldier that maybe we don’t deserve but that we desperately, desperately need.”

They let the words hang between them. Amara wondered what Wolffe would think of everything she’d just said to Comet. It wasn’t more or less than anything they’d said to each other. But there was something different about sharing this, something she’d used to forge a connection with Wolffe, with someone else. The thought brought with it an overwhelming sense of longing in the pit of her stomach.

She swallowed tightly around the pain as Comet shifted next to her. She could think about Wolffe later. Maybe she’d send him a message, ask to debrief back on Coruscant. She could make time in her schedule for him. She would make time.

“You know,” Comet chuckled to himself, pulling Amara away from her thoughts, “I get it now.”

A smile pulled at her lips as Comet kept laughing. “Get what?”

“Why Wolffe likes talking to you so much.” He wiped at his eyes, missing the blush that rose to Amara’s cheeks.

She didn’t speak to the men about what Wolffe might or might not think about her. The conversation with Sinker that last night with the 104th was the closest she’d gotten and she was thankful for that. It was hard enough dealing with her feelings without knowing what he said about her to other people. 

Still … it wouldn’t hurt to know just a little. After all, it had been nearly two months since she’d last seen him.

“How would you know that?”

Comet raised an eyebrow at her. “He sent me here for a reason, right?”

Right. That was it. Of course Wolffe didn’t talk about her with Comet in any other way. Why would he? They were just—

“And he told me to give you this after the mission.” Comet reached into the pouch of his belt lying next to him and pulled out a holo puck, guilt hedging into his smile. “I would have given it to you sooner, but I knew you’d want to talk and I just … wasn’t ready.”

He placed the puck in her palm and Amara had to remind herself to breathe. The promise of hearing Wolffe’s voice again, after so long without it, was enough to make her want to sprint back to her quarters, abandoning Comet on the training room floor. She shook her head and put the puck away safely in her own belt and eyed Comet.

“You’re lucky you didn’t lose that.”

“And risk never being allowed to return to the 104th?” He placed a hand over his heart. “No chance.”

Amara hummed, pleased to hear a bit of the old Comet back in his voice. “So … no ‘taking a break’?”

Comet huffed out a breath. “No. No, I think I’ve put that behind me.”

Unexpected tears stung the back of Amara’s eyes and she blinked them away before he could see. Maybe agreeing to be a general, agreeing to keep fighting in this war she still wasn’t sure about, had been worth it, even if just for this.

“Well, if you ever need ‘a break’ again,” she narrowed her eyes at him, “you’re always welcome here. Let that phrase mean something else from now on, understood?”

Comet nodded, face serious but the Force much lighter around him than she’d seen it since he first arrived on her ship. “Yes, General.”

“Good.”

Amara stood up, checking briefly to make sure Wolffe’s holo puck was safely tucked away, before pulling Comet up with her. He smiled, gathering up his things to leave. But Amara hesitated. 

Now that she was free to run off and listen to Wolffe’s message in peace, she found that she was terrified to hear what he had to say. Her expectations, she feared, were too high. She cleared her throat and, when Comet glanced back at her, she gestured to the square in the centre of the training room where the clones usually sparred.

“The Four-Fourteen are good sparring buddies, but it’s hard to beat the 104th. Think I might be getting a bit rusty.”

Comet stared at her for a moment, clearly reading between the lines. If he’d been Boost he would have called her out on it. Sinker would have shook his head and walked away. But Comet was, despite everything, still Comet. He smiled and dropped his stack of armor.

“I did notice you struggling to hold that punching bag still, General. Sure you’re up for a round?”

Amara followed him to the square, relief relaxing her shoulders and centering her mind away from Wolffe. At least a bit.

“I said I was rusty. Not that I couldn’t still kick your shebs into the next sector.”

Comet laughed and it sounded just a bit like home.

*****

An hour later, Amara walked into her quarters, sweaty from sparring and finally ready to listen to Wolffe’s message.

Well, she looked down at her shaking hands, maybe ‘ready’ was a bit of an overstatement.

Comms with the 104th had never recovered after their initial breakdown when Comet arrived, and any contact she’d had with her old battalion preceding that had been only with Plo. Amara tried not to read into that.

She took out the holo puck from her belt and tossed it between her hands, feeling the cool metal against her skin and thinking of the last words she’d said to Wolffe, back on Coruscant. 

See you around, Wolffe.

It had been a promise, small and subtle enough to ignore if they wanted. But she didn’t want to. And she didn’t think he did, either. They’d see each other again, so long as they survived. They’d exist in each other’s lives, even if that existence looked a little different than before. Whatever was on this holo had all the leverage in determining just how different that existence would be.

She wasn’t entirely sure what she wanted, but maybe that was for the best. If she couldn’t decide between her feelings and her duty, then whatever Wolffe said, whichever way his message might lean, stood no chance of disappointing her.

Master Plo would have seen right through that excuse, but he wasn’t here. Amara was alone. And she could make that excuse her reality as much as she damn well pleased.

Settled, Amara set the puck on the shelf next to her bunk, turned it on before she lost the nerve, and curled up with her back against the wall, ready.

When the blue-white recording of Commander Wolffe of the 104th Battalion smiled across at her, a softness in the wavering depths of his eyes that she hadn’t known she’d missed, Amara let herself relax and she let herself smile back.

****

I’ll see you around, Amara. I don’t know when or in what way, but I’ll see you. That’s a promise I know I can keep.

The end of Wolffe’s recording echoed in Amara’s mind as she tried to explain to Comet why she’d called him to the bridge when she couldn’t exactly explain it herself. Wolffe would never break a promise, if he said he would see her again, he would. 

Unless he’s dead. Amara blinked the voice away.

“If you’ve had any contact at all with the 104th, Comet, I need to know.”

He could be dead.

Comet shook his head, the rest of his body perfectly still. “No, General. Not since I left the Triumphant three weeks ago. Are you sure it’s not just an issue with our own comms?”

He’s probably dead. Amara stared out into the whirl of hyperspace, letting Riv answer for her.

“Comms are working fine now. We’ve sent messages back to Coruscant, requesting an update and received nothing back so far.” Riv glanced at her but Amara stayed staring forward. “But the general has a … feeling.”

The weight of Comet’s stare added to Riv’s. They were waiting for her to say something, anything. Amara couldn’t get her mouth to move.

“General,” Comet moved to stand next to her, eyes still on her instead of the viewport. “What kind of feeling?”

Amara finally looked up at him and saw all the fear she felt reflected in his dark eyes. She owed him, of all people on this ship, an answer. She didn’t have one, but she had to give him something. She was the general here, it was her job to keep the men moving, alleviate their worries, give them some hope. She cleared her throat, ready to tell Comet it was just a worry, maybe an overreaction.

And then her head exploded into a thousand pieces.

“General?” Hands grabbed at her, trying to … pull her up? Was she no longer standing? “General Kora what’s wrong?”

Amara shook the hands off, her skin sensitive with a deep-seated ache as she pushed her own hands against her forehead, trying to escape the pain. She could see everything around her in staggering clarity, but it was grey, so grey. Grey like it was on Tibrin when so many people died all at once.

It was happening again. The loss. The pain. The ache in the Force. But this time was so so much worse. She’d been naive, back then, to think she’d experienced the worse of death. This felt like pieces of her brain, of her heart, ceasing to exist. She couldn’t speak.

Dead

She could sense people moving around her, could feel the ship humming beneath her, could see the lines of worry in every face. Was that Comet? Ordering a medic to help her? And Riv, messing with the communications hub? 

She couldn’t speak.

They’re all dead.

She couldn’t—

“This is a message for General Amara Kora of the 414th battalion.” Master Windu’s voice, always a solace to her, pulled her back from the brink. Amara blinked and stared at his outline on the holo table, everything else fading into the background even as the pounding in her head and chest continued. “The 104th have encountered a dangerous new weapon and we have lost contact. The 414th is to continue back to Coruscant immediately. We do not yet know how to defeat this weapon and we cannot afford to lose another battalion.” He stared at her. She wasn’t sure he could actually see her, didn’t know if this was live or recorded, but he stared right at her. The seriousness of his next words highlighted by the stern set of his mouth. “There is nothing you can do right now. Return to the Temple and we will debrief you there.”

The holo winked out of view and Master Windu’s voice was replaced by Comet’s.

“He didn’t tell us where they were when they lost contact. Why didn’t he tell us where they were?”

Amara leaned against the table, brushing off their medic, Helix, with a gentle nudge. “Because he knew if he told me, I’d ignore his orders and take us there anyway.”

Comet scoffed. “Because that’s the reasonable thing to do, General. We’re a full battalion, we can help.”

Amara stared at the empty holo table, wincing at the similar emptiness she felt in her head, in her heart, in the very core of her being. Every bone in her body was screaming at her to exert all of the 414th’s resources on finding out where the 104th was. She needed to find them. Needed to know exactly how many of them were dead.

Because they were dead. She could feel the absence of so many she’d come to know over the past months, even if she couldn’t pinpoint exactly who the absences belonged to. They were dead. They were dead. They were dead.

There was absolutely nothing she could do about that now, but she could get these men, these very alive men, back to Coruscant. To whatever passed for safety these days. 

I don’t know how long I’ll last in this war. Amara closed her eyes for just a moment against Wolffe’s words before she straightened up and let go of the holo table.

She looked Comet directly in the eye, because she owed him that much. “We increase our speed as safely as possible. But we continue our path to Coruscant all the same.”

Comet shook his head, anger darkening his Force color. “You don’t mean that.”

She turned her attention to the 414th clones on the bridge and spoke with as much strength as she could muster. “Understood?”

“Yes, Sir”s echoed around her and Amara made her way the bridge door.

“General, you should come with me.” Helix blocked her exit, concern etched across his brow. “If I hadn’t watched you in there just now, I’d say you have a concussion.”

Amara shook her head, holding back a wince at the staggering pain. “I’m fine, Helix. I just need to meditate.” She waved a hand and pushed past him. “Jedi stuff. You wouldn’t understand.”

She had the vague impression of Helix protesting behind her, but she continued on down the hall and toward her quarters. Her head screamed with every step, something pulled at her heart with every breath. She needed to lie down. She needed to meditate. She needed to figure out what the fuck had happened.

She needed, desperately, to let herself cry.

“Wolffe would go after you.”

Amara stopped, hand reaching out to palm her door open, and tried to focus past the pain. “You don’t know what you’re talking about, Comet.”

“The hell I do, General. He would go after you. And you know it."

I miss you, Amara … It’s enough for me to know that you know.

Amara pulled her hand back and turned to face Comet, the light behind him making her squint. “No he wouldn’t. He would get his men to safety. He would—” She paused to rub at her eyes. The light was too fucking bright. “He would put everyone and their needs ahead of himself and his wants because that’s what we do. I have a responsibility to these men. Wolffe would understand that.” 

“You used to have a responsibility to the 104th, too. General.”

His words hung between them, weighing the air down and threatening to bring forth the tears Amara was trying so hard to keep at bay. This wasn't the Comet she knew. Even at his worst, he'd never talked to her this way. But she could feel his pain in the Force alongside his anger and it matched her own. She was the general, he was the soldier, and she was responsible for him. Regardless of whether he believed it or not.

“I don’t think Wolffe would have sent you to me if he didn’t think I still took that responsibility seriously.” She turned away from him and opened her door. “Get some rest, Comet.”

The door swished close behind her, but not before she heard the loud thump of a fist connecting with a durasteel wall. 

Pulling Wolffe’s holo puck out of her belt, Amara sank to the floor. With shaking hands, she turned on the recording.

General Kora … Amara. I asked Comet to give you this recording …

As words she’d already memorized consumed her, Amara tentatively reached into the Force, searching for his distinct signature. They were so connected, so in tune with one another that surely she’d feel him. Surely she’d be able to know for certain if he was …

A wall of pain blocked her from searching further. Her connection with the Force was too fraught, too sensitive, too overwhelmed with loss. If she tried any harder, she’d risk hurting herself permanently.

I hope that when you’re listening to this, you’re rolling your eyes and muttering something about how I didn’t need to explain it so much because you already knew. 

Amara looked back at the holo, eyes tracing the quirk of Wolffe’s lips, the gentle set of his arms crossed over his chest. 

I also hope you know that I’m explaining it all because I miss you.

As a sob yanked itself free from her too-tight throat, Amara covered her face and finally let herself cry.

#w: a shattered peace #oc: amara kora #commander wolffe #commander wolffe x oc #jedi oc

[ichijager13]

Pairings : Eren x reader

Raiting: explicit

Modern AU, aged-up characters (late twenties early thirties), memories, drinking to cop, unhealthy coping mechanism, fluff and smut, overstimulation, angst, morning after.

Summary: After being together for years, Eren decides to put an end to your relationship. On his birthday, only one thing can ease your pain and chase away ghosts of happy memories: Alcohol.

A/N: this is a chapter from Remember how it was, a work that I posted on AO3 months ago. I originally intended to post it on Eren’s birthday but I couldn’t wait lol. I hope you enjoy this one.

Also, I would love to thank everyone for the support you are showing me and for reading my work. your reactions warms my heart and motivates me to write more.

Reblogs and reaction are more than welcomed. be happy :*

It popped into your mind before you even open your eyes. It was today and knowing it will be the first time in six years you won’t be by his side for the occasion brought you tears. You stared at the ceiling debating whether you should let your emotions slip or make yourself something strong to numb your feelings. You ended up opting for the safer option.

You were in the kitchen serving yourself your first shot of the day when ghosts of old and happy days captured you.

 It was past midnight, and Eren was still in his study working on a new model. You glanced one more time at your reflection in the mirror then eyed the small cake and the bottle of red wine you held in each hand. You were a little bit stressed about the dress you picked for the matter. It was a bit edgy for you. taking a deep breath, you threw one last look at the tight silky red dress you were in and headed to where Eren was.

 The moment you opened the curtains of the fitting room the girls’ mouths dropped. “Forget about the mini birthday cake, girl, he will devour you instead”. Sasha breathed excitedly. “Right ladies”. She nudged Annie and Mikasa who couldn’t tear their eyes from you.

“Could you spin around?” Annie managed to ask and you did. The dress was a strappy deep v-neck, and the thin straps ran across your naked back. “Girls I’m afraid he will pass out if he sees her like this”. She whispered.

“That’s the point”. Sasha said, enthusiastic. “It’s his birthday”. She pointed.

“Yeah, well I’m afraid it’s going to be his last”. Mikasa finally spoke. “Roy would be struck if I show up in something like this”.

“Armin too”. Annie added.

“Again, that’s the point. To think that I’m the one who’s single”. She groaned. “You’re buying it, and you’ll put your boldest red lipstick on”. Her eyes were shooting daggers. “Come on give the man a treat he’s turning 30. There’s no better way to celebrate it”.

“What do you think?” you glanced at Annie and Mikasa.

“I guess you should give it a try”. Mikasa said unsure. “Right Annie?”

“Yeah, besides you’ve been together for almost three years”. Annie eyed you again before she follows. “It would be nice to break the routine once in a while”.

“That’s what I’m talking about”. Sasha clapped. “Please for once give up your good girl’s dresses. You’ll thank me later”. She turned her attention to the girls. “And you’d better do the same”.

 So here you are facing your lover’s study room door, you inhaled deeply and called his name. no response, you tried again. “Eren?” Hearing his footsteps, your hands started to tremble. It was too late now; you can’t run away.

“Yes, love?” He spoke as he opened the door. “Why didn’t you just come in?” he was in a loose dark blue cotton t-shirt and grey joggers. The moment his eyes landed on you, he froze.

“Happy birthday, my dear”. You chanted smiling but you got no reaction. He didn’t know where to look. Your curly hair looked amazing, your dress hugged your curves perfectly, revealing much more than what it hid, and that red lipstick. He squeezed his eyes shut and massaged them shaking his head. He has been working for hours he must be dreaming. “Honey, are you okay?” you inquired visibly worried. You sat the bottle and stood up reaching a hand to his face. The view offered to Eren when you kneeled made him curse under his breath.

“I’m…”. he looked at your face again. “Fuck”. He growled rubbing the back of his neck eyes roaming your body from head to toe. “Fine, I’m fine… Fuck”. He snitched the cake from your hand, set it on the nearest place he found, and pinned you to the wall kissing you with igniting passion.

While he was devouring your lips you remembered Sasha’s text 15 minutes ago when you sent them a picture of you.

 Sasha

“Daaaaaaamn, Jager boy will keep you up till the sun rises”

“You look A.M.A.Z.I.N.G, love the lipstick”.

Annie

“Yeah, your hair definitely looks amazing”.

Mikasa

“I hope you’re ready for the long night that’s waiting for you”.

Sasha

“Don’t forget to wear sexy perfume”.

Annie

“A body lotion is better don’t you think Sash?”

Mikasa

“I agree”.

 When he finally pulled away resting his head on your shoulder out of breath he spoke. “Damn, you look…”. He cursed once again. “You look sexy, love”. One of his hands rested on your waist. “This dress looks so good on you”. he confessed against your ear; his warm breath rose goosebumps all over your neck. With the other hand, he tilted your head and started ravaging the thin skin of your neck. “And you smell so fucking nice”. He rumbled; voice dangerously husky. Eren was in trance, unable to think straight. he didn’t know where to touch, where to kiss, or what to say. his blood was rushing through his veins and his heart was pounding against his chest. Breathing never felt this hard. when he finally looked back at your face the sight of your ruined lipstick and crimson cheeks made him hard. “You’re so pretty that my heart might stop”.

“I’m glad you liked it”. you mumbled stumbling over your words.

“Liked it? I fucking love it”. you have never heard Eren curse this much.

“Would you like to blow out the candle and cut the cake?” you hazarded looking at your bare feet. You remembered Sasha’s words from earlier.

“I’m staring now at the cake I wanna eat”. He murmured, face inches away from yours before backing away. “But first, let me see the dress”. His eyes traveled along your body. “Can I see the back?” you baited your lower lip. Feeling your hesitation, he added in a soft voice. “Please, love?” you slowly spun. You heard his sharp breath before he brushed your hair away to uncover your bare back. He moved closer and hugged you. “Forget about the cake. tonight, I’m gonna fuck you until you can’t stand straight”. His words traveled all over your body causing your skin’s temperature to rise and your stomach to clench. His hands were caressing your throat and chest while his lips left a trail of love bits along your back. He slipped one of his hands under your dress and pulled your panties down before inserting two digits inside your warm and wet core. Without a word, he continued kissing and sucking at your skin while his thrusts were becoming faster. With each move, your moans became frantic and louder. With a swift movement, he pulled you on his shoulder and headed to his desk. He carelessly moved his plans and pencils and laid your back on top of it. He pressed his fist to his mouth, hungry eyes scanning your body before speaking hastily. “My pretty girl looks magnificent tonight”. His words were followed by another long and passionate kiss. He then kneeled in front of you pushing your dress up. the moment he swept his tongue against your entrance your lungs stopped functioning correctly.

His moves made you feel so dizzy and the only sounds that could leave your parted lips were long and deep moans alongside undistinguished words. “E-Eren”. You moaned grabbing the loose strands that escaped from his bun. He responded with a deep hum that made the coil forming inside you tightens. Feeling the first waves of pleasure crushing on you, you managed to sort out some intelligible words. “I’m close, my love”. The pet name made him double the pressure he was applying to your nub making you lose track of space and time. The only things you were aware of were: his mouth rummaging what was left of your sanity, his warm breath tickling your soft skin and his fingers digging into the fat of your thighs.

Feeling your walls clench around his tongue when you came, he tightened his grip and sucked your juices. When he finally stood up, you were breathing heavily. He snatched the hand covering your eyes, smiling he pecked your lips and cheeks. “This is the best birthday gift ever”. He spoke against your swollen lips. “Too bad I ruined your lipstick; it looked great on you”. and he kissed you again while helping you sit down. Still feeling dazed you buried your head in his chest. Seeing you like this a deep chuckle left his chest. “I’m still not done with you, my love”. A wide smirk displayed on his face as he caressed your sensitive lips with his thumb.

 Feeling the cold liquor overflowing you got back to reality. That was one of your craziest nights with Eren. When you woke up the next morning every muscle felt stiff.

 Feeling the bed beside you empty you propped yourself on your elbow scanning the room. Eren was nowhere to be seen and the perspective of leaving bed in your state made you cringe. You fell back and buried your face in his pillow. You had no idea that a piece of clothing can get such a reaction from him. last night he got you so fucked up that you barely removed your makeup and cleansed before crashing into bed dragging a giggle from your man.

“Did I go too hard on you?” he asked cuddling you. you had no energy; you placed your hands on his before you were down for the count.

You were dozing off when you felt the bed shift next to you. you slowly faced your lover. He brushed his lips against yours. “Good morning, love”.

“Good morning, honey”. A tired smile curved your lips. “Happy birthday dear”.

“Thank you, love”. he brushed your hair off your face smiling. “How do you feel?”

“Like I’ve been to war”. You breathed making him laugh solely.

“I’m sorry”. He let out laying beside you. “But that dress…”. He paused. “The way you looked yesterday standing there it… it drove me crazy”. He caressed your cheek laughing quietly. “I’m sorry I just couldn’t…”. another pause. “Couldn’t stop”. He shifted and covered his eyes. “Never do that again without a warning or else my heart will stop or worst explode”. He sighed deeply. “Talk about a birthday. By the way the cake was delicious thank you, my love”. Seeing you frowning he added. “I put it in the freezer when I woke up and then took a tiny bite”. He propped an arm around your tired figure and pulled you into a light hug smiling against your bare back.

When he left for work you reached for your phone. the girls left a bunch of messages.

Sasha

“Girls, you think she can keep up?” the first message was from Sasha around 2 in the morning

Annie

“She didn’t give a sign since yesterday, I bet they stayed up late”. She replied this morning.

Mikasa

“I mean she looked so hot; the opposite would’ve been weird. Don’t you think”.

Sasha

“I bet her throat is all covered with hickeys”.

Mikasa

“Jealous?”

Sasha

“Kinda”.

Annie

“I guess Saturday launch is canceled”.

Mikasa

“Yeah, I’ll send a message to everyone”.

You unconsciously reached your hand and caressed your throat. You opened your phone’s front camera to inspect it. Sasha was right, he didn’t go easy on your neck and chest. You can already hear your friends’ teasing.

 You laughed when you remembered your friends’ faces when you opened the door.

 “Geez”. Sasha breathed. She opened and closed her mouth several times before she adds. “He went crazy last night”.

“You did the right thing canceling”. Annie spoke to Mikasa.

“It’s Saturday”. You groaned remembering your weekly launch date. “I just woke up”. you massaged your neck.

“So, what are your plans for tonight. Are you still coming with us”. Mikasa asked.

You shook your head. “I’m planning to have full eight hours of sleep”. You said sinking into your living room couch. “Thank you for canceling. And girls make sure you sleep during the day in case you plan on doing such a thing”. You sighed. “What time is it by the way?”

“It’s noon”. Annie answered.

 Taking a sip, you whispered. “Happy birthday Eren”. As tears made their way down your cheeks.

#Eren Jaeger #eren #eren x reader smut #eren jeager smut #eren smut #eren x reader #eren jeager x reader smut #eren x you #Eren Yaegar #eren jaeger x reader #eren yeager x reader #eren yeager smut #eren yeager fanfiction #eren yeager #eren yeager x reader smut #eren yeager x you #eren x y/n #eren jeager x reader #eren jeager #eren jeager x y/n #eren x oc #eren snk #attack on titan x reader #eren attack on titan #attack on titan fanfiction #attack on titan #snk x reader #shinjeki no kyojin