#and also kind of maddening

[nemesis-is-my-middle-name]

it's actually kinda funny how the balance of nobles getting frenzied is already a little pearl clan heavy just by virtue of there being an uneven number, but then they also have a ride noble get pseudo-frenzied and rather than it being a diamond clan noble to even things out, it's ursaluna, who's also pearl. that's 4/5 pearl nobles who get some version of frenzied compared to only 2/5 for diamond. almighty sinnoh really said fuck these guys specifically. also a real "sneasler wins by doing nothing" sort of situation here

#the nemesis speaks #pla analysis #irida comments on this next chapter for unrelated reasons but it made me go hey yeah that IS kind of funny #ik it's lilligant's spores specifically that have some kind of maddening effect on ursaluna (maybe just being really irritated) #but. is there a universe where electrode zaps sneasler w an attack and she also Gets Mad #jk that wouldn't have any effect on the plot bc ingo has gliscor he could just dunk on her with impunity. plot point wrapped go home gang

[moonshynecybin]

I know we have 0 proof and all assumptions but what do you think Vale s true self is like

like this

#i dont think hes lying per se i DO think hes withholding. like he IS cheerful and funny and charismatic and egotistical! that still him! #he just holds most of his non-twink related negative emotions away from where the press can vivisect him for having them... #like truly i love him. and it makes fanfiction writing for his pov VERY fun but kind of maddening. #like in my initial forced coming out fic i have him say 1 thing think another and feel a third. bc hes insane. #in it he is outwardly doing a bit. inwardly angry about the situation. and secretly worried about marc/trying to protect him. #hard to write (also bc i have to try and be funny :/) but very rewarding imo ! #callie speaks #motogp #asks #valentino rossi

[laurelwen]

Pardon me. I feel that no one is devoting adequate attention to this Very Important Topic covered in Sweetbitter 2x04.

This coy little midriff flash? The demure little thumb hooking the shirt down? Are you kidding me??

#tom sturridge #sweetbitter #gnashing my teeth #tearing my hair #in some kind of maddened maenad frenzy #also look at Tess over there fully under the spell of #The Sturridge Effect #the only thing about her that was relatable #well that and being a messy bitch in my 20s

[simonstamenovic]

brief break to inform you all that ahe is to die/death, ta'eta is madness/insanity, and wai'o is to harm/hurt. notably as well, hio also means to sparkle/glitter/gleam and the only other word listed as a term of enderament means jewel/gem. also there are gendered words for siblings but spouse/partner/mate is neutral. also he/she/it are the same third person singular pronoun. there is a plural and paucal they. as well as two "we"s and 3 "you"s

and some other neat words. "huwe, particle; a reminder of information the listener ought to have according to the speaker, but seems not to be acting upon" i love you makehu.

#hi the horrors are neverending for us but im (re)learning and adolin is also here just kind of fucked. #bloodletting #dotd post #none of these words have the proper accents as i am at the computer #the first set of three words probably means nothing to most of you actually #but the breakdown of those words vs tawahe is..... mmmmh. maddening. sickening.

[creepyscritches]

Ramping up to my first family therapy appointment and I'm feeling like an insane person trying to get thoughts in order like this is hell on earth 🤡

#Creepy chatter #Trying to convince other parties that I don't have issues I can just 'get over' is maddening #'all these fucking things shaped me into who I am + I am desperate for a healthy relationship w myself and you and these forever factors' #vs someone insisting 'I want to deal w these things and move on and not have to talk about them again' #I am ALWAYS going to be affected by several of these things but they don't HAVE to hurt me to be a part of me #Also it really sucks being told you're The Most complicated relationship in someone's life like it's a bad thing :( #But like. Idk. I'm in such a shit phase of 'you're right I wasn't the nicest and I'm sorry for not respecting your feelings' #When mine have quite literally never get acknowledged beyond making me a problem 👁️👁️ #This is why we need therapy!!!! #I don't want a therapist to take my side and I'm not trying to win any kind of argument #I just need a third party to fucking HELP ME

[yaoianime]

Soon im rly gonna do it

#🕸️ #sui mention #< in the tags tho cuz it feels nicer to talk abt this in tags than in the post itself cuz to me posts are like talking normally but tags are #like whispering? talking you can tune out if you want but whispering is rather more voluntary to say it doesnt matter however #every single year passes and i wish i didnt live in each and every one of them i feel disconnected dissatisfied empty disappointed every day #it can be a small part of a day or a bigger but its still there clenching onto me like and never letting go im tired of it theres always a #wall between me and otyer ppl im unsure if i put it there or was it put there by other ppl but its there and even if anyone tries to reach #into it do i understand how even if close are we really far away it makes me understand just how much of an abnormality i am and how much i #cant ever be like them no matter how much i try and climb and crawl until i bleed its exhausting its maddening #almost everything i do is shaped by spite i wear one bracelet for years out of spite i dont smoke out of spite i dont shave my hands not #only because im normal abt body hair but also out of spite the more i know ppl the spiteful i get only way for me to truly like someone is #to keep them at a lenght outside that wall if they get in then theres only two choices for them to dislike me or even hate my entire being #or me to shove them back out without ever letting them get in #coworkers say im a nice kind person but im not its all just a facade to make my life easier and to suit myself im hateful but i dont believe #its entirely my fault after all they will to my face make fun of. laugh at. and hate everything of me they would see in other ppl that dont #hide it deep within like i do and then it rly hits me how different abnormal foul disgusting and unnatural i am #im hit with his every talk that goes on too long every word that keeps going every touch every expression every comment made on my behalf #its exhausting to live this way i fear im near my limit i havent reached it but who knows when i will #i sometimes dream of doing it and leaving behind a note wishing nothing but painful suffering to everyone i ever knew irl but i dont want to #do that to my best friends and my dog but who knows how long its left before the thread breaks #thats all like comment and subscribe if you personally would do me a favor by taking me out back and shooting me

[alynnl]

I know limited spoilers about the later Ace Attorney games and I finished the first case of Apollo Justice last night.

There's a few things I have to say. Spoilers ahead.

Phoenix freaking Wright. Really became someone who willingly forged evidence just like the previous villains (especially the final bosses) did throughout the series. "He who fights monsters," anyone?

(It's a small wonder he didn't get Apollo disbarred. Mia Fey would never-)

Because of the spoilers I do know, Krisnix is a hard line NoTP for me. But the first chapter of this game gives the basis for it and I absolutely hate that

Apollo is just a Little Guy and he deserves better already

He also has an amazing pursuit theme

If Beanix's parenting towards Trucy is anything like Blaise towards Sebastian I will see red

So Kristoff was the first case's culprit but I have knowledge that he's somehow the final case's culprit too? Does he pull off a jail break?

I'm doing this for Klavier. Even though I haven't met him yet, I heard he's one of the only decent members of this cast.

Capcom, what have you done?

#Lynn speaks #Lynn plays video games #Apollo Justice: Ace Attorney #AA4 #I'm normally flexible to changes #given how receptive I was to Investigations #I was also semi aware of what happens in AA4 #but to experience it!! #it's kind of... maddening #Beanix is in the dog house for me #Sir. you have no integrity #Capcom whose idea was this? #I just wanna talk....

[theimpossiblescheme]

Concept that just occurred to me: I want these two...

to have this dynamic:

#The goofy smartass and his adorable baby sister who's just as much of a little shit as him and he protects her as much as he enables her. XD #The personalities aren't a complete one-to-one comparison but the general *feel* is the same y'know? #cats the musical #mungojerrie #etcetera #my headcanons #Also do you have *any idea* how hard it was to find any kind of picture with those two so much as next to each other? Maddening. :P

[spindrifters]

For the anti-honesty hour: what's your goal for this week?

if I end yet another week without updating marginalia, I’ll consider it a job well done

#someone help me my family is starving #no but for real every time I sit down to write Something Happens #it’s maddening #but also kind of just comedy at this point

[janeeyreofmanderley]

I feel like it is inevitable that the Dracula fandom will start doing this so I will just say it out loud:

Wed, Bed, Behead- with Seward, Quincey and Art!

#In my case I guess wed Seward( yes I know ethical ambiguous to say the least #and so gloomy but also such a kind nerd deep down who respects women #bed Quincey because come on he must know a thing or two about that #behead Art sorry guy nothing personal if I could I would spare you and instead murder every man in far from the maddening crowd #Dracula daily #daily Dracula #Dracula

[likeabxrdinflight]

playing three houses again and I have locked myself into silver snow by picking flayn to be my dancer. honestly I'll be curious to compare these two routes when all is said and done, because having done crimson flower first it felt like the "good" ending, so I imagine this will feel like the "bad" one to me.

#I'm also picking dialogue options that make byleth more doubtful of edelgard #so the decision to turn against her will feel more in character #I'll probably lock myself out of CF too by not going to the coronation #blue lions route also felt kinda villainous to me in the sense that Dimitri is...lovingly...such a republican lol #and I hear golden deer is kinda the politically centrist route (and also that it's kind of a copy/paste of silver snow) #so idk if or when I'll play that one #maybe down the line if I feel crazy and wanna try maddening mode or something #fire emblem

[thedreadvampy]

Yeah I mean just generally even before this.......really inexplicable plot point, the game has not felt amazing to me. I feel like it suffers for me playing it right after Disco Elysium which is a lot more open and also tbh more polished imo.

I like the ideas in Pentiment but not the execution overmuch, and I feel like navigating the game felt really needlessly confusing and draggy, especially when time-sensitive events kept happening without any reminders in your notes of what Book of Hours time (bunch of unfamiliar Latin words, and nowhere on the screen are you told what time it is right now) you need to be there.

Everything is time sensitive but it's wildly unclear how much time you actually have in each chunk of the day, and so much is being unnecessarily explained that useful information gets lost.

also the other side effect of the glossary thing is that half the time it feels more like an extended GCSE Bitesize History revision game, it's like looking at an interactive display at a fucking museum. Have a bit of faith in me, the player, to figure this stuff out from context or know it already - you literally do not need to add a glossary entry for every town or saint or Latin words someone mentioned in passing. can't tell me what time it is but gonna stop to explain the danse macabre apparently.

playing Disco Elysium I got moderately stuck at times but there weren't a lot of times where I felt like the game was the problem. so far with this one I constantly feel like I know what I want to do and what I think Andreas might do but I'm wrestling against the game and it also is giving me all the wrong information because like. Andreas clearly knows stuff like what time it is and where he's meant to be going but I don't because all the game wants to tell me is who's married to who and what the expectations on me are. That shouldn't feel like new information! That takes me out of the story so hard. it's not new and revealing information pertinent to the case bc it's an obvious fact of life to every fucking person here!

like maybe it gets better but the first chunk of the game just feels like it's focused on all the wrong information. and it ends super suddenly without really having a sense of how much time you have to talk to people or capacity to balance your day. it wants to be bitter and guilty but I'm not immersed enough for that because I still feel like I'm using a kid's educational CD ROM because if I click in the wrong place you pause a vital conversation to tell me what Matins is (not when though. that would be helpful.)

obviously DE gave itself a head start by giving its protagonist amnesia. but like. even then it didn't feel like the point of the game was to give me a list of background information about the norms and general knowledge of the world. this thing just feels. more exposition than substance. it's like reading a children's history book with plot to keep you engaged, not like an engaging story that happens to take place in the 16th century. more horrible histories than name of the rose.

#red said #i might be being too harsh. but i can't say this is working great for me. #doesn't help that it kind of looks like an educational flash game too #like i get the idea and i like the idea! of it looking like illuminations! #but it kind of. doesn't. first off animating in this style takes a lot of skill to not look cheap. #and this. kind of does a lot of the time. #second though also it's just SO digital. it doesn't look like medieval paintings it looks like Illustrator. #there's no texture or depth to it. it doesn't read as handdrawn #again this is a particularly unflattering area of comparison with DE which despite being 3d modelled DOES effectively convert painterliness #and the styles and line weights are so inconsistent between characters #it's honestly kind of maddening #we're trying to make this thing feel like a manuscript right? pick a style and stick to it. #even to the degree of. pick whether you're using coloured linework or black. how are you approaching age? #there's like 5 different styles that look spread across a century #except they also don't because they all look stubbornly 21st century. because of how digital they look.

[pineapple-split]

Oof - we’re really in it now. I have to word vomit my feelings out.

If you take this story as social commentary, this is the part where I feel like The Point is being made. All those weeks of setup have led us here. These letters over the past week are just a master class of failure to address literally anything.

Imagine if Volanges had simple sat down and talked to Cecile instead of shuttling her around the countryside and bringing in a third party to “keep her in line.” I think she loves Cecile in her way, but lord I have not seen a single bit of actual parenting from her this whole time! But that doesn’t seem like a thing that happens between mothers and daughters here. She’s a Woman of Society first and a mother second, it seems. (And to me that’s really representative of how relationships seem to work on a wider scale - very few seem to be genuine or rooted in anything at all beyond the current whims of the social contract. Built on shifting sands, etc)

Valmont and Merteuil are fairly self-explanatory in how they use people as their personal playthings. But it’s interesting that they conduct themselves as if this is all right and normal. This all grew out of some old slight to Merteuil and Valmont’s boredom, lives are in the process of being ruined, and the only indication we get of self-awareness is Merteuil’s insistence that there must not be proof. It’s fine to do these things, but to have them acknowledged out in the open is what’s ruinous. What would they say in the salons? Also I am banging my head against the wall that no one bothers to connect Valmont’s presence to the open misery of two women, one of whom literally flees and to whom Valmont’s aunt acknowledges that her nephew is at fault. Lady! The slightest bit of effort on your part please! I’ve gotten the impression that Valmont is a known rake, so….??????

Problem-solving seems to begin and end with “wring my hands and write a letter to a confidante about it”. Which - is fine as a beginning, you gotta let it all out, but then to return to business as usual? Knowing something is off? Wild. Valmont and Merteuil exemplify one brand of evil, but then there’s everyone else who just lets them get away with it. This is all just another upper class game after all, because these people are rich and bored and only pay attention to morals insomuch as it’s fashionable to toss out pithy quotes to make themselves look better.

I’ll be interested to come back to this after Le Shit Goes Down to see to what extent the rest of society frowns on these goings on because the actions are themselves wrong or if rather, the physical proof of them is embarrassing to everyone.

#dangerous liaisons daily #spoilers #kind of? #this is not a complaint post to be clear #I am very aware that this is The Point of it all #and it is maddening to read in real time! #just total societal failure at every level it’s really astounding #there’s so much more to say too like is Sophie at all concerned with the abrupt cease of communication from Cecile? #Danceny is a different brand of asshole that begins and ends with ‘entitled prick’ #I also feel deeply for Tourvel but I’m really questioning her judgement at times #but she seems so isolated and she’s still so young and she IS being manipulated #does she have anyone else to talk to besides Volanges?

[limewatt]

video games my love, why must you hurt me

#i hate playing video game so much (lying) #i exist in a constant state of liking playing games and also dislikingbit #it’s really mean and unfair that you gotta play video gamex to play video games #the screen of my laptop hurts my eyes so much and my vision sucks so bad that i have to wear my glasses to be able to see anything #there’s settings to adjust the brightness but it shoots the colors to shit and the dark point gets too high to make anything out #(settings beyond the default buttons i mean) #playing games gives me headaches if i play too long but i tend to play in 2-8 hour chunks because adhd #especially older games like anything with low res textures and low(er) poly models make me wanna slam my head against my keyboard #games make me feel bad while also being fun and for that they should pay #this all compounds on the fact that i am bad and slow at most kinds of games #and since i’m slow at games the music loops so many times and while i really love a lot of game music it gets annoying when it loops in-game #none of this has been too much of an issue cause modern good-looking games and handheld switch games stem most of my problems #but i’ve been playing shadow the hedgehog and god the game is fun and enjoyable but i am bad and slow at it and it hurts me #my laptop screen is killing me and the audio in this game is a bit whack and god i really fucking suck at this game which it frustrating! #and i’ve spent way more time than i’d like staring at my painful screen listening to good but maddening music #with controls i don’t quite grasp dying to the same boss over and over again YOU KNOW WHAT THEY SAY THE MORE THE MERRIER FUCK YOU EGG CRACKE #remembering funny lines from the fandub makes it a bit better though. and i do genuinely like the game. i’m just a bit frustrated :/ #sometimes i think about the many ways in which life is tortuous. and the ways which the things i enjoy turn agonizing. it makes me mad #but life is not always tortuous. there are ways around and through the things that bring me pain. it just doesn’t feel like it sometimes #i know this to be true #trying to not feel bad about everything is hard when i already feel bad i think #i guess i’m not really having a great time in general :/ #i feel like i’ve been rambling/venting in tags a lot recently? sorryyyyyyy

[lakegenevaslumberparty]

..honestly? why doesn’t Van Helsing have Lucy change rooms?  like..that would be a reasonable test for any regular illness, and it really seems like Lucy needs to be able to open the window for Drac (based on how she acted with Mina in Whitby).  Could an interior room, or even a lock on the window, solve all our problems here?? 

#I am finding no evidence to the contrary #this is maddening #honestly at this point if they were just giving her intense care for ANY OTHER KIND of unknown but definitely-there physical illness #they'd be doing a lot better! #night nurse. move the bed. #strap her in so she doesn't sleepwalk and hurt herself. #WHICH SHE HAS BEEN KNOWN TO DO #gah #Mina HAD THIS and then she had to leave and I'm so sad for everyone right now #except for Mrs W and Van Helsing. one is being awful the other is being...also awful but in a less horrible way #he's TRYING he's just making the kinda bad calls you make when it's the Heroic Age of medicine and you think Doctor is a word for Wizard :/ #drac daily

[g4rchomp]

^ reissue those boots rn im not kidding

#(for free also) #they're steve madden hott boots btw but I dont care abt that I just want this exact style to come back #current models are narrow and the heel is higher which I dont like as much #but these look sooooo comfortable thats the kind of shoes you can wear for years everyday ugh